#even when it's an unplanned route

[cementcornfield]

[Jerry Rice] said if he could have he would have dated you...

Joe will tell you, sometimes a receiver comes along that just... there's something easy about him...

[protect-namine]

had to go (near) bgc today......... I was so STRESSED just being there. I haven't been there in years but I get flashbacks to how bad commuting to and from bgc was like. and that stress is just gonna follow me every time I'm near that area

ofc no one here knows what I'm talking about except for maybe like a handful of people, but just know that if you're ever in metro manila, do NOT believe anyone who says it's nice to be in bgc. it is a soulless capitalistic haven without good public transportation. dude I'd rather commute to makati, or hell, mall of asia than bgc. bgc is a hellscape (if it's not apparent from the post, I live in north metro manila) (this is also funny bc like. it shouldn't be terrible to go to bgc bc it's quite near makati but makati is sooooo much more accessible. commuting to and from bgc and makati itself is also its own nightmare)

[anantaru]

— how he kisses you

including alhaitham, heizou, scaramouche, xiao x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, xiao's is kinda embarrassing idk he doesn't have a clue, making out mwah mwah

— alhaitham + easy but calculated

focus, please focus, alhaitham was divulging inwardly, and he was aware that if you noticed the slight nervousness perching in his settling limbs and muscles right now, you would most definitely have an ecstatic blast of embarrassingly badgering him for what would feel like an eternity.

in the general run of things, he took most things in his life vastly easy and tremendously undemanding, without overthinking them under any circumstances. your boyfriend alhaitham has long since grasped on that adding unsought energy into individual aspects in his life were mostly never ensuing in good results.

but he cannot shake off the calculated nature of himself, not even when he rounds his lips on top of yours. essentially the route he took, holding your face gently in his large palms before pulling you a tilt closer for about three seconds, pressing his lips on you just a teeny tiny bit more, before leaving the pressure to decline.

you sigh out heavenly, then slant forward into his body, your lips spaciously molded around his own as alhaitham sneakily gnaws down on your bottom lip, pulling away before catching a hold of his own breathing. the subtle ridge of a blush, brilliantly red— describing the passion in his heart that he experienced when a magnetic force pulled you together.

it's always stronger than anything you’ve both felt before whenever you kiss, whenever you find yourself comforted by his lips and trace, his thumbs crowning your cheeks and the implications of it all.

seeing alhaitham like this— how he was enjoying himself with you and how much you reveled in benevolently watching him.

you answer the fullness of his tongue demanding entrance as you slightly part your lips, shaping your wet muscle against him while extending your hands to find true haven in his soft hair, sculpturing your nails into his scalp, distantly, but enough so he'd heave out a deep sigh. occasionally you're pulling him back by his strands, so you could look at him low lidded, out of breath with bleary eyes, something which will stuck in your mind forever.

— heizou + fast and exciting

heizou might get lost in your kisses, just a little. because while he was kissing you, he never felt more alive and his mind rewired when you hug him tight, traversing your physical distance in less time than it took to blink yourself into a marvelous dream.

for that, he will forever be yours.

your erratic breaths weave together at each new amassed sweep of his tongue, your eyes remaining latched shut while you litter your arms around his neck to keep him as near as possible, meantime his rosy fragrance— scenting of sweet sakura blooms on a warm evening in inazuma city, was planing over your flaring nostrils and made his impressive presence feel all the more intensely.

all the more— meaningful.

directly, you ruffle your fingers into his hair in midst the obvious heaviness of heizou's expressing and dominating kisses, while his thumbs stroke along the outline of your cheek to shift you into him.

you can taste it, a little smile bridging over his lips, anew, when you tug on his hair, although gently, he sought after feeling it again. he gasps at another tug and you take the opportunity to nip on his bottom lip, only gently, but adding a dot of pressure for good and sweet measure.

with the nuance of this spontaneous act, which was usually quite unplanned and all over the place— wether it be the shy, awkward giggles or his eagerness to touch and cherish every inch of you, he was also skilled and indulgently exciting to you and whenever it was you doing something like this to him instead, heizou could see himself become consigned to oblivion.

it makes his mouth water.

no thoughts, no focus, only passion and the pain of wanting more each minute.

he's devilish, bending you forward into his lap, and his depictions of love were never idle. in outline, your expression must've been telling him that much, that you wouldn't want it any other way.

— scaramouche + nervous but passionate

if it were somehow possible to him, scaramouche would certainly scream into a pillow right now, over and over until his lungs would give up on him. he‘s abstrusely nervous— profoundly frazzled in his shoulders and lower back as he notices how you‘re inclining into his chest, fractionally, one at a time until perfectly screened in his arms.

he doesn‘t want to mess it up nor overdo it or screw it up or what about exaggerate it or— hold on, kuni's panicking again, quite jittery as he pulls away from you for a second, catching you off guard— it‘s twice as much embarrassing now, when you look at him disoriented.

what a damned nonsense, he huffs out, how hard could kissing possibly be?

"are you okay?" the concern was trammeling in your frame and manifesting in your tonality, "we can stop if you want."

but how does he tell you that there was nothing in this world he'd genuinely loathe more than stopping this right now, not when it felt so bloody exhilarating to him.

"no." scaramouche coughs, "no, no." although realizing he answered a little too quick.

you back away a little to give him enough space but he holds you in his gentle arms instead, as if scared you'd leave entirely, "don't stop." and he closes his eyes now, taking a deep breath before pulling you back into his lips. audibly this time, you whine into him but let yourself float in his content motions.

once you're in his warp, you leave it to scaramouche to control and manage how he saw fit, so he could experiment but also focus on what you preferred.

you slowly lick across his tongue, tilting your head a little, and something in your chest unbuttons when you place attention towards the feathery whines your boyfriend would huff out ever so lightly, signalizing that he's unhurriedly finding more confidence now.

another shiver quells inwardly, a slight weakening of the knees and you're on a thread— he's flawless at it, passionate and so content that you were surprised on how skilled he was at kissing and soothing your lips, still nervous but wanting, wanting to show you how insatiable you really were to him.

— xiao + erratic and eager

for xiao, it‘s all about learning and understanding about what you would be more partial to— yet he forgets about himself and entirely focuses on you, more often than you'd prefer.

which, in hindsight, wasn‘t a bad thing per se, but, you had to repeatedly mime and indicate that you wanted him to feel good and loved as well. to a large extent was kissing something very intimate and it's shared by two, not kept to one.

his bare lips are hot on top of yours, scorching and eager, while his movements were erratic and modestly sloppy at first, but your boyfriend was a fast learner and refrained from bumping his teeth against your own pearly whites. yet you're patient, very much so, kissing silent words into his mouth as xiao adds his tongue, muffling, almost pleading, motions telling you things words never could scratch on.

his hands tremble against your hips, each gnaw of his fingers digging past your flesh brought every nerve in your body to a complete standstill and your brain locked in electricity— up till now, why he was holding onto you this strongly was not necessarily due to nervousness or due to him being anxious, but xiao simply did not know were to put them or what to do with them.

but it's cute, his actions and shyness, you want to kiss and kiss and kiss him forever.

once more have you pulled away to plant a playful mirage of kisses on his parted lips, worshipping his pretty features— your sweet lover was wholly out of breath while leaning back into the couch, exposing his bobbing adams apple to you and taking note to go a dab slower next time, or well, after you kiss him again.

but when you do, when you plunge back into this lips at last, a deep, simmering sort of proclamation saunters into his chest, taking him by surprise and building in gentle enlargements of transparent love into his body.

xiao truly longed to burn that feeling into his mind forever and reminisce about it whenever you aren't together.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[t-lostinworlds]

Be(tter) In Reality With Me | Bucky Barnes

》 PAIRING: bucky barnes x pregnant!female!reader

》 TROPE/GENRE: established relationship (marriage), angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

》 SUMMARY: Bucky needed to remind you how he would never ever betray you, especially when the him in your dreams was showing you otherwise.

》 WARNINGS: bad dreams/nightmares, pregnancy & baby stuff, mentions of: infidelity, miscarriage, anxiety, toxic past relationships; implied smut at the start (nothing graphic), pet names (doll, my love, sweetheart), overprotective!husband!bucky (he’s a hoverer), some hurt, so much comfort, very fluffy moments a.k.a. happy ending obvs.

》 WORD COUNT: 6.5k+

A/N: this is another unplanned one, like i really just started writing this a few days ago. well, i’ve been toying with the idea for a while but i just never got around to writing/thinking of the perfect premise for it. i coud’ve gone the crack route but you get angst instead. but anyway, this is barely proofread, idk how this turned out. and i know ‘husband fever’ isn't a thing but i honestly got it while writing this soooo hope you enjoy it too!

📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ B. BARNES MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩

⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ✫*.

The disappointment was sharp in your chest as you trudged towards the front door of your home, fingers curled around an unopened envelope that felt heavier than any normal piece of paper should.

Your husband was supposed to be there with you.

Bucky was supposed to meet you at the clinic so you could find out your baby's gender together. But he hadn't been answering any of your messages or calls since this morning. Better yet, he'd been avoiding you all week. There had been more voicemails than there were replies. It was worrying because you two had been fine, things were normal the week before and now it felt as though he was avoiding you at all cost.

Yet the disappointment was quickly replaced by dread when you opened the front door.

The heels were what you saw first, a pair that you were sure wasn't yours. Even if there was a slightest chance that they were, they had no business being down here and not in your closet. Being pregnant, you hadn't worn heels in months.

Next were the scattered clothes, both familiar and not, a feminine scent lingering in the air that had your stomach turning in knots. They were the most horrid pieces of bread crumbs, one that you knew was leading you towards something vile and agonizing.

Your heartbeat was ringing in your ears as you ascended the stairs, each thump growing harsher to marry with your step. Your fingers trembled on your baby bump, the fluttering inside growing restless like a blaring alarm. When you reached the landing, that was when you heard it.

An enthusiastic creaking of the bed, salacious moans and grunts sinisterly harmonizing, unashamedly loud as if they weren't doing something so evil. It was deafening that you couldn't even hear your own heart shatter into pieces.

You wanted to turn around and leave, telling yourself that seeing the treacherous act would do more harm than good. But you didn't have control of your own body. You were pulling at your own hand, wanting to drag yourself away but to no avail as you kept walking.

The door was wide open when you reached it, shameless and uncaring of getting caught.

And you stood there, frozen, shattering into pieces as you watched your husband mold his naked body into another woman, his metal fingers tangled in her blonde hair, his hips driving back and forth recklessly, their faces contorted in pleasure while a picture of you and him on your wedding day stood on the nightstand.

It felt like a bullet to the heart when he lifted his head and met your eyes.

Gone were the soothing blues you'd called home, gone was the man you'd given your all, who you'd grown to love, to trust.

There were only dark gray hues laced with no guilt, no remorse, a face resembling the love of your life but was truly the Devil incarnate.

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks in quick succession, bile and air stuck in your throat, your heart stopping as something warmer, thicker with a metallic scent trickled down your leg.

He grinned.

You gasped.

•••

Bucky noticed how you'd been short with him lately.

Your kisses were less enthusiastic, his touches or any form of affection were being brushed off, your conversations turning brief, other times barely happening at all.

He tried to reason that you simply needed space, that maybe he was overbearing, overstimulating your senses by hovering around you too much. But, really, who could blame him for taking care of you and making sure his pregnant wife was healthy and safe?

But it was at night that his concern turned to suspicion, when you were facing away from him when you slept, muttering and mumbling, restless. It was when you'd flinch in surprise when he'd wake you up, eyes dazed with something else other than drowsiness. He'd ask you what was wrong, and each time you'd shake your head wordlessly and attempt to go back to sleep.

He remained patient though. It was the least he could do, especially in your state.

Still, that didn't mean he wasn't downright worried, especially when he found something uncanny about your behavior.

Bucky expected your irritability and annoyance. You snapping at him for something so mundane was a common thing he'd been facing lately and had certainly no qualms over. Your mind, emotions, and body were going through a lot and in waves, it was the bare minimum for him to understand. So he never took your harsh glares and clipped tones to heart.

But what was uncanny was the look of doubt, followed by a flicker of fear and then the heartbreak that would cross your face. It was in split seconds, when you see him on the phone, when he was out longer than he'd promised after getting you one of your weird cravings, when he came back late at night after a spontaneous outing with the guys when Wanda and Nat all but kicked him out since it was their turn to pamper you.

Bucky had a feeling that something was wrong. He simply couldn't put a finger as to what.

The nagging voice in the back of his head only grew when Sam and Sarah were in town. It was a surprise visit, so they didn't catch you in time.

You were already out with your mother, a rocky relationship that you hoped would start to mend over baby clothes and strollers.

"Bucky! Come on!" Sarah groaned playfully when he refused to tell them the gender of the baby.

He wanted you to disclose it, and he certainly wasn't going to do it without you by his side. You found out together, it was only fair you tell people the news together, too.

The harsh slam of the front door silenced everyone.

Bucky knew it was you right away, rushing to meet you in the hallway when he heard the intensity of your heartbeat and the sharpness of your breaths, footsteps hurried as if you'd been running.

"Hey," he said softly, cupping your face in his hands, his heart clenching at the sight of your stricken features. "What's wrong?"

It took you a minute to respond, eyes flickering between his face and over his shoulder, like you were looking for something. Bucky watched your body slowly relax when Sam and Sarah followed closely behind him.

It only confused him more.

"You feeling okay?" he asked, thumb stroking your warm cheek as he gently placed the other on your stomach.

"Y-Yeah, I thought—" You shook your head, finally meeting his eyes with a sad smile. "Mom canceled last minute."

"Oh I'm sorry, sweetheart," he sighed, pulling you into his arms, kissing the top of your head when you let out a shaky breath, cheek pressed on his chest as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

Bucky knew how you were truly looking forward to this day. You'd been carefully dividing your lists into two so you could buy things with your mother and then with him, too.

"We'll just get those on our shopping trip, okay?" he murmured against your crown, hands rubbing soothing patterns on your back. Glancing behind him, he added with a lighter tone, "Or you can give Sam the list and he'll just gift us everything."

"Oh I would gladly do it," The self—not really—proclaimed uncle agreed. "If Buckaroo here will finally tell us whether we're having a niece or a nephew."

Bucky scoffed, "You know you can choose gender-neutral colors, right?"

"Oh no, I'm not talking about colors," Sam said, grinning. "I'm talking about quantity."

"Are you saying the niece gets more?" you asked with a soft laugh as you pulled away. The sound brushed away Bucky's worry, if only briefly, as he felt the tension leave your body. Still, his arm remained on your waist as you turned to your guests, his thumb rubbing soft circles as a means of comfort.

"Obviously," Sam confirmed, rolling his eyes playfully. "Gotta treat her like a princess."

"Can't argue with that." Bucky turned to you with an encouraging nod. "You want to put them out of their misery?"

"Well, you're having…" you trailed off, smile widening, eyes twinkling as a joyful glow kissed your face. The exact reason why Bucky loved letting you tell the news and being there when you did so. "A nephew."

The contrast between the siblings' reactions was amusing. Sarah erupted into a cheer resembling happiness and victory, while Sam all but threw his head back with a groan. Bucky still saw his friend try his best to hide a smile, though.

"I told you!" Sarah playfully smacked his brother on the arm. "A mother's intuition is never wrong."

"Yeah, yeah," Sam rolled his eyes, before turning to you with a proud grin, arms wide open. "Come here you."

You chuckled as you walked into his embrace, mumbling a soft "Thank you" at his congratulations. Sarah hugged you next, all teary yet happy smiles and sweet words as you both wandered to sit in the living room, the mother of two boys already gushing to you about endless advice.

"I'm happy for you man," Sam said as he pulled Bucky into a hug, patting his back before pulling away with narrowed eyes. "You better be taking care of her."

"Of course I am," Bucky scoffed, turning to watch you with a fond smile as you chatted animatedly, excitement evident in your well-being. "Hell, she might even be getting annoyed with my overbearing ass."

"Well, it's better to be overbearing than absent," Sam stated.

Bucky couldn't agree more.

Because fine, maybe he was being too much by always keeping an eye out for you even though you were safe and sound, lounging on the couch as Sam started pestering you about naming the baby after him. But if he wasn't, then he would've missed the way your smile slipped from time to time, shoulders slumping with exhaustion before you'd catch yourself and sit straight up and pretend your energy was still high.

He was thankful that Sam was perceptive enough to catch it too, along with the hints Bucky was throwing his way. So they cut their visit short, understanding that you needed to get some rest even if you hadn't explicitly said so.

Bucky was right on his call when the second the front door shut closed, your body visibility deflated, the day finally catching up with you.

He was probably hovering like a goddamn helicopter, trailing behind you when you did as much as walk from the living room to the bathroom, and then waiting for you outside the door. But if he hadn't, he would've missed your soft sniffles on the other side and the far-away look in your eyes once he'd checked on you twice after taking way too long inside than how you normally took.

If Bucky hadn't been overbearing, he would've missed the signs that something was bothering you, like something was eating away at your conscience.

"Hey, come here," he called for you later that night, sitting on the edge of the bed and beckoning you closer with his hands outstretched. Tangling your fingers together, he pulled you to stand in front of his opened legs, kissing your bump before resting his cheek on it, looking up at you with nothing but concern. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Yeah," you breathed out, attempting to smile but it didn't quite reach your eyes. "Just tired."

That only made his worry grow more.

It was something he'd noticed lately, too, how you'd been having trouble sleeping, much less, staying asleep. Most of the time, once you were comfortable in bed, it only took you a minute or two before you were out like a light.

At first, Bucky thought it was because you were nearing the end of your second trimester. It was to be expected, according to the countless pregnancy books he'd buried his face in and the weekly pregnancy calendar he found on the internet—which showed how big the baby was, what symptoms you were likely to feel and ways to aid you through it, how many weeks there were left, exercises to keep you comfortable and healthy and so on—he used as a guide.

But he didn't think nightmares were supposed to be part of it.

Bucky knew they weren't merely innocent dreams because you were always so shaken when he'd wake you up. There was always a sting settling in his chest when you'd pull away from his touch for a good few moments, eyes avoiding his as you tried to catch your breath. You'd only crawl back into his arms once your heart had settled into a calm rhythm, the haze in your irises never truly gone but faded.

You never told him what your dreams consisted of and Bucky never pushed.

He couldn't. Not with the risk of upsetting you even more. All he could do was remain patient. He knew you would tell him eventually. 

Bucky just wished it didn't have to take your breaking point for that to happen.

•••

The mumbling was what stirred him awake.

Bucky quickly sat up to check on you, his frown growing deeper once he saw your features littered with distress.

Yet before he had the chance to gently take you away from your troubled slumber, you suddenly shot up with a distressed shout,

"No!"

Your sobs immediately hit his ears, your frantic hands pulling the sheets away as if they were suffocating you. Your body trembled, chest heaving as you hastily checked your bump before you trailed your fingers down your inner thighs, bringing them up to your line of sight as if you were expecting to see something horrible coating your skin.

Dread clutched at Bucky's heart when the inkling as to what you expected to see evaded his mind.

"Hey, hey, hey," he rushed, kneeling in front of you and grabbing your face in his hands in an attempt to snap you out of your panic. Tear-filled eyes met his and his heart broke at the utter fear and agony that covered your face.

He pressed his forehead against yours, never looking away as he kept one cold hand on your burning and wet cheek and took yours with the other. He pressed your palm above his heart, hoping that it would help ground you.

"Breathe, sweetheart," he coaxed, inhaling deeply, encouraging you to follow, exhaling once you did. He took your other hand and pressed it against his jaw, letting his warm breath flow over your palm to help aid you in steadying your breathing. "That's it, my love, breathe with me."

Bucky repeated the action as many times he could, marrying it with encouraging words, only stopping when he could hear your heart slow to a steady beat.

"Y-You—" You choked back a whimper, burying your face into his neck as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, gripping him tightly. "I-I'm okay."

It sounded more like a question than it was a statement to Bucky.

"You're okay," he reassured firmly, kissing your forehead and steadying your shaking hands over your stomach. "You both are."

Silence covered the room aside from your deep breaths, the soft rustling of the sheets following suit as Bucky shifted to sit behind you, guiding you between his legs until your back was pressed against his chest. You rested all your weight on him, his hands covering your own as he coaxed them to move in slow circles over your stomach. He littered your shoulder with soft kisses, trailing up the side of your neck then your cheek, moving back down as he whispered sweet reassurances.

"You wouldn't do that to me, w-would you?" you asked after a moment.

"Do what, my love?"

Your voice came out as a broken whisper, as if you were scared to say it any louder, as if it would come true if you did.

"Cheat on me."

Bucky's answer was immediate.

"No." He gently turned you around in his arms, your legs thrown over his thigh as you sat sideways. Taking your face in his hand, he nudged the tip of your nose with his to get you to look at him, to let you see the truth in his eyes, emotions bared and unhidden. "I would never."

You nodded meekly before dropping your head, his lips touching your crown.

"Sweetheart, hey," he whispered, fingers finding your chin to prevent you from hiding again. His frown deepened when you met his gaze, the pain and conflict coating your dulled irises doing nothing to ease his worries. "Where is this coming from?"

But with one look at your trembling form and troubled eyes, Bucky's heart sank at the realization.

"Doll…" He took a deep breath, thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. "Is this what you've been dreaming of lately?"

Bucky never expected for such a small nod to break his heart so much.

"I-I watched you and—"

"No, no, no," he interrupted, shaking his head vehemently, kissing the tip of your nose, and then each of your eyelids. "You don't have to tell me right now. I don't want you to dwell on it for too long."

"I have to get out," you whispered yet your tone was adamant, fingers starting to nervously fiddle with his vibranium ones.

Bucky hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to stress you out more than you already were. But when you squeezed his hand reassuringly, he sighed, offering you a small yet supportive smile. "Okay. But don't force it, please, sweetheart. I don't want you getting upset even more."

You nodded.

Bucky listened.

He listened with bated breath as you recounted your dreams, his heart tearing itself apart, piece by piece with each gruesome detail you managed to stutter out. Heels. Clothes. Stairs. Sounds. Bedroom. Bodies. Picture Frame.

Bucky made sure to remind you to take your time and take deep breaths, it's just a bad dream, wiping away your tears as he held you close in his arms, you're my everything, littering whichever part of you he could reach with soft kisses to remind you were here, present in reality with him, and that you're okay.

Bucky never thought he'd feel inhumane anger over a version of himself that wasn't and would never be part of reality. He'd honestly die first. Yet, even then, he still couldn't picture subjecting you to such awful betrayal and hurt.

If he could jump into your dreams and excruciatingly make that asshole pay, no matter if it was some version of him, he would do it over and over and over again. No questions asked.

"And t-then there was b-blood," you took a sharp breath, a knife into Bucky's chest as fresh tears escaped your eyes, your grip around his hand tightening. "I-I lost our—"

"That's enough," Bucky interrupted, voice soft yet hoarse as a lump lodged itself in his throat, blinking away his unshed tears. With one hand on the back of your head, he pressed his lips against your brow. "It's just a nightmare, sweetheart."

"It f-felt so real," you choked back a sob, shaking your head as if you were hoping it would rid the images away. 

"This is real," Bucky said, placing your palm on his cheek, the other on your baby bump with his own hands covering yours. "You're okay. Our baby boy is okay. We are going to be okay."

You nodded, taking deep, shaky breaths as you brought his palm to your lips. You kissed it a few times, three more before you wrapped his arms around your form, leaning forward to bury your face into his neck.

"I would never do that to you," he murmured against the side of your head, rubbing gentle circles on your back. "You trust me, right?"

"I do!" you said, eyes frantically looking into his with all the reassurance you could muster despite your tiredness, lips trembling as you repeated, "I trust you with everything that I have. I trust you with my life, Buck—"

He nodded. He knew you did. He didn't feel any ounce of uncertainty in your voice, didn't see any assumption that he was capable of being unloyal in your eyes. Maybe that was where your conflict came from, your heart battling with the lies your subconscious was feeding you.

This wasn't about the strength of your trust in him. This was something else entirely.

"Who put this in your head, hmm?"

Bucky knew you well enough, how you sometimes got too into your overthinking mind. Your past relationships definitely contributed to that fact. Toxicity to downright emotional abuse and various infidelities from previous boyfriends, it was no surprise that you came out of those relationships scarred.

You went to therapy when you finally had the resources to, and Bucky was always there to support you, told you it was nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, he was going to individual sessions himself, much less frequently compared to his earlier years, but the path to healing was never linear. He even suggested couples counseling—once a month at best, twice on the bad ones. Not because something was broken with your relationship, but only as a tool to be able to understand each other more, to keep things healthy between you both.

It helped tremendously.

You'd grown to shine brighter each day, letting yourself be free of the doubtful voices and instead accept and own that you were deserving to be loved, strongly, loyally, and unconditionally.

Now, after being together for eight years—three in a relationship and five years of marriage—you and Bucky were stronger, healthier, happier. And with a baby boy on the way, he knew it would only strengthen your bond, adding more joy and love to your little family.

But recently, your pregnancy hadn't been easy on your mental state. With your body preparing itself to welcome new life into this world, to your hormones fluctuating, it only heightened your emotions, and that included the bad ones.

So it wasn't far-fetched for your anxious thoughts to grow like weeds in your head, unrelenting and parasitic with no means of stopping unless you pluck it out from the root. But for the first sprout to emerge, someone had to have planted that seed first.

"Remember when I went on that 'girl's night in' get-together?"

Bucky sighed. That was two weeks ago. He should've known that your quietness when you got home was something to be worried about. Even more when it was roughly the same time you started having trouble sleeping. To think that you had to deal with your dreams alone for that long—

He pulled you closer, rubbing your arms with a kiss on your forehead. "Yeah, I remember."

"Do you remember Karla?"

Bucky remembered her too. He only met her once when you brought him as your plus one to her engagement party. Now, he wasn't the type of person who was quick to pass judgment on people, especially at the first meeting. But first impressions? She hadn't exactly been the best, too forward and sometimes, rude for Bucky's liking. But she was your friend, so he let it slide.

"She arrived late. She was already very drunk and distraught," you continued once Bucky confirmed with a nod. "We immediately tried to console her, get her to calm down, but she just wouldn't let go of the bottle of whisky, started grabbing the wine the girls were having and chugging it down too. Turns out, she walked in on her fiancé with her best friend in their living room."

Bucky pressed his lips against your crown with a sigh, rubbing circles on your back as he let you pick at the metal plates of his arm. It was a nervous habit. Yet you also said it was comforting, grounding, getting to feel the coldness of the prosthetic.

"Then she looked at me and saw my bump—God that dress didn't really hide much, huh?" you chuckled, voice void of humor.

Bucky loved that dress on you, and he showed you just how much before driving you to that get-together. It was a shame that the memory was now tainted.

"B-But, I don't know, it was probably because I was the only married one in our group, o-or she was just that drunk but she started targeting me," you paused with a deep breath, eyes meeting his with a shake of your head as fresh tears gathered on your waterline.

"She started yelling at me and telling me that I was rubbing it in her face, what she could've had. And then she started screaming how you would do the same any day now, if you weren't already doing it because it was obvious you won't like it that my body is changing and getting bigger a-and that you'd find some slimmer model and she told me to leave you before it's too late and I just—"

Bucky felt hot white rage grip him.

He couldn’t care less what other people's opinions of him were. With what his past life was, he learned not to let it get to him. He should feel insulted, to hear the disrespect against his morals to downright questioning his loyalty to his wife, especially from someone he couldn't give a shit about.

But he wasn't mad about that. Oh no.

He was furious about what you had to endure.

The audacity of someone to make you upset and stressed, especially in your current condition, had him outraged. No one, absolutely no one had the right to raise their voice, much less, fucking yell at you. He didn't care if it was the president of some country, a powerful alien or a close family friend—

Nobody disrespects his wife.

"You know none of that is true," he said as calmly as he could despite wanting to give that 'friend' of yours a piece of his mind. Cupping your face with both hands, he brushed his thumbs against the corner of your lips. "Hell, I showed you how much I love your changing body earlier that day in the kitchen, didn't I?"

That managed to coax a giggle from you, faint and teary but he still took it as a win.

"Look, what happened to your friend was awful. I wouldn't ever wish that on anyone," he said, jaw clenching. "But for her to bring you down with her while you're pregnant? That's just cruel."

"I'm sorry," you whispered sadly, pressing his palm on your lips. "I shouldn’t have let her words get to me."

"Sweetheart, no, you did nothing wrong," Bucky insisted. "Your emotions are all over the place as is, your hormones even more. And I know how impressionable you get when your anxiety is high and, fuck, you must've been so stressed when she basically berated you in front of everyone I just—" He took a deep breath, pressing his forehead against yours. "I wish you could've told me sooner."

"I was worried you'd take it the wrong way," you admitted shakily. "Because I do trust you, but things got loud in my head and I just—"

"I know," he hummed, smiling reassuringly. "I know, doll. You don't have to explain it to me."

You sighed, nodding, your body slowly relaxing with a hint of a grateful smile touching your lips. And with the weight slowly falling off your shoulders, your drowsiness followed suit—the fluttering of your eyelids, the calmness of your breaths as you all but rested on him.

Bucky fluffed your pregnancy pillow before gently guiding you to a comfortable position, kissing your forehead, the tip of your nose before pressing his lips gently onto yours. He hummed at your satisfied sigh, hands caressing your body, pouring as much of his love into every simple touch as he could muster.

"You're my whole world, my everything," he whispered to you and you only, the person who matters to him the most. "I would never put myself in a position where I'd even risk losing the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Bucky's brows furrowed when he felt a flutter against his palm where he'd rested it on your bump.

"I think someone's a little jealous," you teased softly, fingers pushing his hair away from his forehead.

"Now, we can't have that," he chuckled, shifting his body until he was face-to-face with your belly. He pulled at your shirt, revealing your skin before littering each part and stretch marks with loving kisses. Smiling, he corrected himself, "One of the best things that's ever happened to me."

His grin grew wider as you started carding your fingers through his hair. He could honestly fall asleep like this, resting on your bump with your loving touches.

"Say, you're going to kick my ass if I hurt Mama, wouldn't you, squirt?" he murmured against your tummy, his heart lurching when he felt a faint kick. Bucky gaped at you, chuckling at your giggles before pressing his lips back on your skin. "Gonna be a mama's boy I can already tell."

"I love you," you said, eyes glistening but with the smile that graced your face, Bucky knew they were happy tears this time.

"And I love you," he hummed, resting his cheek on your bump to meet your gaze, his fingers tracing hearts on your skin. "Both of you."

•••

"Doll, you don't have to do this."

"They're going to be here in an hour."

"I know but you shouldn't be on your feet too much."

"Exercise is good for pregnant women," you said, tilting your head at your husband with a knowing grin. "You told me that, according to the books you've read."

"I know what I said," Bucky groaned, hands finding your hips as he tried to gently steer you to sit on the chair, again. "But in moderation, you've been standing for—"

"Five minutes since you last made me sit down," you giggled, continuing to set up the dinner table with the snacks and appetizers you had set up. The main meal was kept warm in the oven.

It was your turn to host the get-together your friend group had once a month. And being in your third trimester, you were unable to stay up too late. So you opted on having a small brunch instead of the usual nightly gathering.

"Then, let me take care of the rest, please?" he begged, wrapping his arms around your form to stop your movements, lips pressed on the thin strap of your sundress. And if he wasn't overly cautious about your well-being, he probably would've already carried you to bed to let you rest. "Just sit and order me around."

Now, who could deny that offer?

Bucky was a great husband.

You knew this and he had done nothing but actively prove that to you time and time again.

You knew you shouldn't have let yourself get to a point of spiraling deep into your anxious thoughts that they started to affect your dreams somehow. But it honestly got overwhelming so quickly that you didn't get the chance to snap out of it. Worse yet, it made you dig the hole deeper and deeper by keeping it to yourself.

It was a lapse in judgment and, as Bucky had said, your emotions were all over the place. Not to mention, the situation wasn't at all pleasing, getting yelled at in front of an audience was awful already, a recipe for anxious disaster. What more if your hormones were making everything ten times worse?

Your friend simply caught you at the wrong moment.

The same friend that was going to be coming over in a few minutes.

You didn't tell Bucky yet because you knew he would never let her into the house. But you were willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was drunk and hurting that night, emotions probably driving her rash decisions. Granted you hadn't spoken to her since, but she probably didn't mean what she had said.

Or so you thought.

After shooting you an admonishing look when he recognized who walked into the door last, Bucky was back in Pilot Mode.

It's what you named his hovering because he did go into certain modes when taking care of you, even if he argued otherwise. And despite having agreed that he was going to give you and the girls space—and he had been sulking in his office as he watched whatever game there was on—it rapidly changed when the party moved to your backyard.

The sun was at its peak in the clear blue sky, warmth evident in the air despite sitting under the shade of the large patio umbrella Bucky installed himself.

First, it was pulling you aside for some sunscreen, lathering your skin up as he lectured you about taking sips of water every now and then to stay hydrated and to go back inside if it got too hot. Then, it was standing in the kitchen, right by the open window where he had a clear view of you, discreetly observing even though his large stature was making him so obvious. Your friends had giggled about it since most did find it endearing. That last one was him bursting out of the backdoor with a cold glass of water and a clean towel in hand, wiping away any sweat that littered your skin and urging you to drink, parting away with a chaste yet loving kiss.

It was what made Karla snap.

"God, I can't believe you still fall for that shit," she scoffed once your husband had gone back inside. "Like, seriously, have you ever heard of love bombing?"

Everyone went silent at that.

"He's overprotective," you countered, though you could already start to feel your heart rate start to increase.

"More like he's overcompensating for something," she grumbled, rolling her eyes. "He was a trained assassin back in the day, wasn't he? Surely he'd learned a thing or two about hiding secrets."

"Karla, drop it," Grace, a friend truly close to you, hissed with a sharp glare.

"I'm trying to save her from yet another heartbreak," she argued, before turning to you. "Like we all know how gullible and naïve you can get, a few romantic gestures and you're already blinded. I mean, considering your track record of cheaters, you should already know the signs. I know I see them with how your husband's been doting on you. It's the same thing the asshole did to me."

Your hands shook as you held the glass of water tighter, tears threatening to spill as you gritted, "Bucky is not the same—"

"Jesus, you need to open your eyes!" Karla interrupted. "I never expected you to still be this stupid—"

"That's enough."

Bucky's voice boomed through the air, his looming presence immediately behind you with a protective arm around your waist. Emotions at a high, you didn't even realize you stood up from your seat. You tried catching his gaze, but he was glaring at Karla who had now quieted down, shrinking in her place.

"I don't care about your assumptions about my morals and character because your opinion doesn't matter to me. So say whatever you want to say about me. But the second you disrespect my wife—" Bucky screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, reeling back his anger when he felt your hand on his arm.

Opening his eyes, he turned to look at you. You shook your head, not wanting to make this any bigger. He sighed, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles and then your ring before turning to Karla.

"I love making my wife happy, and she'd been looking forward to this get-together to catch up with friends. But she isn't supposed to be around any kind of stressors during her pregnancy," he said, glare dead set on your so-called friend, voice dropping as he gritted, "So get out of my fucking house."

"Buck—"

"Doctor's orders, my love. I can call her right now if you want." He gave you a sweet, knowing smile. You nodded because you knew there was no point arguing with him. Bucky turned to your friend when she refused to move. "Well? Do you want me to drag you out?"

Karla gaped at everyone, waiting for someone to protest, huffing and puffing when she found no support. It didn't take long for her to gather her things and for the front door to slam shut.

The silence hung in the air for a good minute.

"Good fucking riddance," Grace scoffed, the tension breaking as a chorus of agreement came out from everyone. "I honestly don't get why you still invited her."

"Too kind for her own good," Bucky said, raising his brow at you. You shook your head at him with a soft laugh, squeezing his hand gratefully.

"You're in your guard dog mode again," you teased.

Bucky rolled his eyes, but didn't bother denying it. That only made you grin wider.

"Well, this is supposed to be a girls' thing so I'll leave you ladies to your own devices." He nodded at everyone, giving you a sweet peck on the lips before making his way back into the house, even though you knew he was only going back to his station in the kitchen.

As soon as he was gone, everyone started gushing at you.

"You're so lucky but God you deserve it!"

"Girl, you need to set me up with a friend of his, like surely they're going to be roughly the same, right?"

"Honestly, I'm glad you're getting your happy ever after."

"Does he use that deep voice on you in bed?"

"Oh my god!" you squeaked at the last one, covering your warm face with your palms. When you peeked between your fingers, the girls were all looking at you with expectant grins, brows wriggling. You sighed, "Maybe."

They all erupted into delighted laughs at that, the conversation turning into a slightly salacious turn as they started trading in stories—both good and horrendous—and asking you for some advice on how to keep a guy satisfied or even just to spill the beans on what you and your husband get up to in bed.

Obviously, you didn't kiss and tell—well, not in too much detail. You still couldn't help but sing Bucky's praises. Of course you had to give credit where credit is due.

It was a few moments in when you caught Bucky's gaze in the open window. His wink and that handsome yet smug—his ego inflated that's for sure—smile was enough to tell you that he was listening in like the goddamn nosy super soldier that he was.

You rolled your eyes, yet your joyous smile wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Because to be in reality with James Buchanan Barnes, your husband, the love of your life, was way better than any dream you could ever have.

✫*｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ♛ *.

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[liliesonpandora]

I’m a Warrior Like You

Pairing: Jake Sully x Daughter! Reader

(Gifs by World-of-Pandora)

Plot: You are Jake and Neytiri’s only daughter and youngest child. You disobey your father’s orders and leave home to join the mission where you put yourself in danger. He saves you and you have a fight when he gets home.

Warnings: violence, family conflict, angst

Note: single quotation indicate inner thoughts; double quotation indicate spoken dialogue

You and Lo’ak sat crosslegged in your family’s tent at High Camp, waiting for Neteyam to return with news from the war party. As his figure appeared at the entrance, you both got to your feet anticipating his report.

“Teyam, what’s going on?” You asked him without hesitating, curious to find out what the mission was.

He paused to take a breath after running all the way back. “Cargo train is on schedule to come through pretty soon. It’s carrying weapons and all kinds of materials. We’re gunna stop it on the route and steal as much cargo as we can before they hit us back.”

You and Lo’ak exchange a look. You both knew that hitting a cargo train was huge. They go incredibly fast and don’t do unplanned stops until reaching their destination. They wouldn’t be expecting an attack.

“When do we head out?” You ask Neteyam.

He quickly glances at his brother with an expression you don’t quite recognize. He hesitates a little with his response, which is different from the conviction he had less than a minute ago. “Um Dad’s waiting on a report from Tarsem, and then he’ll give out orders any minute now.”

You run over to the weapons shelf to grab your bow and secure it on your body. Lo’ak and Neteyam watch you and you can already tell what they are thinking without having to ask. ‘So that’s what this is about,’ you think to yourself. You speak before either one of them could say anything.“Dad is gunna let me come this time, he has to.”

“I don’t know, baby sister. Don’t get your hopes up,” Neteyam warned while giving you a sorry look. Your father rarely lets you join the war party like your brothers. You were the youngest. But you’ve been practicing your flying and hunting everyday. It was only a matter of time that he let you come on the mission. And this one was big… they would need as many eyes in the sky as possible.

“If you guys are going on this mission, then so am I.”

Lo’ak shot one more skeptical look at Neteyam and shrugged. They could think whatever they wanted, but you didn’t care. A few moments later, Jake came sprinting into the tent. His eyes scanned the area to take a look at his children, and they settled on his eldest first. “Okay, we’re moving out. Neteyam, report to Tarsem. He will put you and the other young hunters in position. Follow his orders.”

“Yes sir,” Neteyam replied with a nod before exiting the tent.

He turned to Lo’ak next. “Lo’ak you’ll be spotting from above and calling in any enemy aircrafts. You know what to do.”

‘So do I,’ you think.

“Wait for your mom’s signal and then head out, copy?”

“Copy.” Lo’ak’s eyes linger on you for a while while he is exiting the tent. You give him the slightest nod, letting him know that you would be okay. You watch him leave and then turn back to your father. He is now reaching for his rifle and checking his ammo. You wait patiently for your order, but it never arrives.

Without even looking in your direction, Jake begins to walk out of the tent. You couldn’t believe he was doing it again. ‘Theres no way he’s going to ignore me,’ you think. You run after him and clear your throat. Suddenly there was a lump that wasn’t there before. You remember that every other time up until now, you had stayed home while your parents and brothers went on missions. You never complained, only obeyed. But today was going to be different. Today you were ready, and you were certain of it.

“Um Dad, what about me?” But no response. ‘Is he too preoccupied? Or is he ignoring me?’

“Dad!” You shout, which finally gets his attention and he looks in your direction, waiting for you to speak. You can’t tell what the expression on his face is. ‘Is he annoyed?' You don't know and you don't care. His eyes travel down to your body, like he is only now noticing that you are equipped with your bow. You swallow and speak.

“What should I do? I can get in position with Lo’ak when it’s time,” you offer.

“No babygirl, stay here with your grandmother.”

“What?”

“You heard me, y/n. I don’t have time to argue with you right now, get back inside.”

You open your mouth to protest, but he interrupts before you can. “Don't make me repeat myself, you understand me?”

You said nothing, only stared at him while your bottom lip started to quiver.

“Do. you. understand me?” He said once more, but much slower and harsher. ‘What was this tone? He had never spoken to you like that before. Why was he being so mean?’ You were fuming with anger. Why was he so unwavering in his decision? You hesitated for a little, considering talking back. But you knew this wasn’t the time or place, it would only make him mad. So you swallowed your pride and answered him.

“Loud and clear,” you say through gritted teeth, making sure he knew how you felt about the situation. Without another word, he mounts his Ikran and takes flight. At this point, you are fighting back tears. You couldn't believe he would force you to stay home once again while everyone else was out fighting. But you knew one thing... there was no way you were going back inside.

Everyone had already left, and your grandmother was stationed in the healing and recovery tent. You could leave and no one would even realize you were gone. You moved swiftly because you knew that if you gave yourself more time to think, you would talk yourself out of it.

You ran to your ikran, which was already saddled up. It provided for a smooth mount. You connected your queue with hers and felt her deep breathing through tsaheylu. “Okay girl, let’s do this,” you tell her. And within seconds, you were off gliding through the air.

Lo’ak had left a good while ago, but that didn’t matter. You knew exactly where to meet and you would catch up to him in no time. You often listened in on the war party’s strategic meetings. Not only were your senses keen, but you were also good at staying hidden and evading anyone before being caught. It served you well.

You eventually spot Lo’ak and circle around, greeting him. A smile lit up his face and he looked excited to see you. You had to admit, it felt good to be out here with him; it was exhilarating.

“Y/n! Dad let you come?”

“Yeah, he gave me orders right after you left,” you lie.

His smile of excitement turns into a skeptical smirk. “Bullshit, then how come he didn’t just tell us to leave together?”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance at how quick he assumed you were lying. You thought about continuing the lie but ultimately decided against it and admitted the truth. “Alright fine, he told me to stay home. But I left anyway.”

He put his hand up to his head and groaned. “Jesus, you’re done for.”

“I’ve always done what he asked of me and this is the first time I’m doing something for me. He can’t be that mad.”

“I don’t know sis, first offense is always worse cause he expects more from you. Take it from me, a repeat offender," he warns with his palms up in the air.

You hate to admit it, but Lo’ak might actually be right about this one. You really didn’t want to disappoint your father, but you felt like you would be easily forgiven. Yeah you snuck out, but you were being safe and useful. You decided that the reward was worth the risk. “Don’t worry about me,” you tell Lo'ak.

“Okay come on, I’ve been circling the area.”

“Anything, yet?”

“Nah.”

After waiting for what seemed like five minutes, you spotted something down in the forest. “Lo’ak, AMP suits 9’ o clock.”

“Holy shit, I didn’t even see em.”

“Hurry up and call it in. Or do I have to do your job for you again?”

“Damn sis, go easy on me. Maybe Dad should have you out here."

You smiled at him proudly. You’d call it in yourself but you left your tech at home, which was an amateur move on your part. Oh yeah, and there's also the fact that you weren’t supposed to be there and your dad would kill you if he found out.

Lo’ak pressed the mic on his comms and called to your father. “Devil Dog come in, this is Eagle Eye.”

“Eagle Eye, send your traffic.”

“Got eyes on two AMP suits, carrying heavy gear.”

“What’s their position? Over.”

“About two klicks south, right past the old cave. Over.”

“On my way. Over.”

Lo'ak turned to you next. “Y/n, you should probably get out of here before Dad sees you.”

“No way, things just got exciting.”

“It’s your funeral.”

“We’re so far away from the action, it’ll be fine. I’ll leave before he-

“Eagle eye come in, this is Devil Dog.” The sound of your father's voice interrupted you.

“I read you," Lo'ak responded.

“We’re taking fire over here, I won’t make it to you. Abort the mission and get to cover!”

“Copy that!"

"Alright baby sis, we gotta go," Lo'ak said to you.

“Wait, we can do it.”

“What?”

“Dad can't get here in time, but you and I can do it.”

“I like a little adventure as much as the next guy, but that plan is actually insane.”

“It will work. You saw all that gear they were packing, it's a major jackpot. There's two of them and two of us. If we attack from above, they won't even see us coming. They won't have time to hit us back."

“I don't know about this. Usually, I'm the one doing stupid shit. Who are you?”

You ignored his joking demeanor, you were serious. “Aren't you tired of being overshadowed and ignored?”

“Yeah, I guess?”

“I don't know about you, but I wanna prove what I can do. And I know I can do this.”

He looked like he was thinking it over, going through all the scenarios in his head. And then finally he agreed. “Okay.”

“Okay?” You repeated.

“Let’s do it.” You knew you could count on him, he always had your back. The both of you began to dive down into the forest, getting closer to the targets.

“How’s your aim?” You asked him.

“Could be better.” Suddenly he was worrying you.

“That’s not what I wanted to hear, big bro.”

“Don't worry, I got this.”

“That’s more like it.”

The two of you go over the plan a few times while flying to the location. Hidden amongst the trees, you would aim your bows and take them out simultaneously as they were walking in your direction. If either of you failed, it would alert them to your position and trigger a counterattack. So you knew you couldn't fail. You took a few deep breaths, all your training had prepared you for this moment. You lined up your arrow and signaled for Lo'ak to do the same. "On me," you whispered. He nodded in agreement. Then you mouthed a countdown silently and… released.

You watched as both arrows instantaneously pierced the glass of the suits and the bodies that inhabited them. The machines, no longer having someone to control them, fell to the ground with a huge thud. You and Lo'ak looked at each other in amazement. He put a finger to his lips, telling you to stay quiet. You waited for a while in silence, wanting to make sure they were dead. When it felt safe, you jumped down from the trees, leaving your ikrans perched. Creeping up behind the machinery, you confirmed the kills. "Oh my god,” you exclaimed, in disbelief that it actually worked.

"We actually did it! Woohoo!" Lo'ak yelled while raising his arm to give you a high five. You slapped his hand with yours and pulled him in for a hug. "Hell yeah, I knew we could do it!" You cried. The smile on Lo'ak's face was big and bright.

"Okay, now let's see about the gear," he reminded you. You nodded in response. You were about to begin opening cases of weapons when you were interrupted by the loud whirring of a helicopter approaching. You looked to the sky to see where it was coming from. ‘Oh no.’

“Shit! Run back to the Ikran, go!" Lo'ak screamed.

Without another word, you took off running as fast as you could. Why the hell would you leave the ikran so far away?! You weren't thinking.

"Call Dad!" You screamed over your shoulder at Lo'ak, but you couldn't see where he was. Your vision was blurred and your legs felt like jelly from the adrenaline. An explosive hit the ground by your feet, flinging your body into the air. You hit the ground below with incredible force. And then there was just darkness.

***************************************************************

“Y/n! y/n! Baby, wake up please!” You slowly opened your eyes and your father's face came into focus.

“Dad?”

“Oh thank god, what the hell are you doing here y/n?!”

Then you remember where you were and what you did. You opened your mouth to speak, but it was difficult to talk. “I just... wanted to help.”

You moved to sit up, but dizziness overtook and there was an aching pain in your head. ‘And where was Lo'ak?’ you wondered. “Woah not so fast, I got you.” Your dad said before he scooped you up in his arms and began to run.

"Dad."

"Yes, baby."

“My head hurts.”

“You must have hit it pretty hard. But you know who I am and where you are, so that’s a good sign.”

“I’m sorry. Are you mad?”

“Never mind that. I’m gonna get you home now. Just try to stay awake for me okay?”

“Okay.” But you could already feel your vision getting blurred again, and your eyelids felt extremely heavy. The last thing you remember is your father calling your name before the darkness.

***************************************************************

You opened your eyes to the ceiling of the tent. You were lying in one of the bigger hammocks at home, and there was wrapping all over your body. You guess that's where you were wounded. You notice that your head no longer hurts like it did before. Grandmother must have healed you. You begin to sit upright. “Ma ite, you are awake," your mother said softly with a smile.

“Mom?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. Where’s Lo’ak?”

“He is with Neteyam, he is alright.”

“And Dad?”

“He is taking care of the aftermath of the mission, he will be home soon. You hit your head, we were so worried about you.”

“I’m sorry, mom.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to scold you. I’m afraid your father will do enough of that for both of us.”

“You don’t agree with him, do you?"

“That doesn’t matter right now, my love. You know how much worse this could have been. You are never supposed to go off on your own, even if your brother was with you.”

“I know.”

The screech of your father’s ikran echoes throughout the cave. Your heart begins to race. ‘Be strong, be strong,’ you repeat over and over in your head. Your mother gives you a concerned look before she leaves the tent to greet your father.

“Hey sweetheart, where’s y/n? Is she feeling okay?” You hear him ask her. 'So he is worried about me, that's a good sign.'

“She’s inside. She said she feels much better… Jake go easy on her for now, she’s still recovering.”

'Uh oh,' you think. Your father enters the tent and walks over to you.

“Dad.”

"You feeling better, honey?" You nod, taken aback at the question.

“What were you thinking? Do you know how dangerous that was?!"

“Yes sir."

“You deliberately disobeyed my direct order and put yourself into harms way!”

“You refuse to let me come on missions! I was just trying to show you that I can handle this! The mission was going fine, I just got ahead of myself at the end and… I messed up okay! I know that!

“There’s a reason I told you to stay home.”

“Really? What is it then?! Because whenever I ask, it seems to just be cause you said so. I have listened to you every time. I have obeyed every order from you. And the one time…”

“You’re not ready.”

“I’ve passed every test a warrior needs to pass, Dad. I am more than ready.”

“You don’t understand the gravity of what you've done. What if things were worse? I need to be prepared to get all of you out of there if something goes wrong. If I don’t even know where you are, let alone that you’re out there at all… how am I supposed to make sure you’re safe? Did you think about that?"

You said nothing.

“No, cause you didn't think at all. If you can’t even follow simple instructions at home and trust my authority, how can I expect you to do that on a mission?”

“So, you’re authority at home now too?" You don't know why you said that. You just wanted to get back at him.

“You’re grounded. If you think you’re leaving high camp in the next century, you’ve got another thing coming.” He turned to leave the tent.

‘He can't keep me here,' you think to yourself. “We’ll see,” you mutter under your breath.

He turned back towards you. “What did you just say?”

‘Fuck.’ “Nothing.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Stop treating me like a little kid.” You don't know why you kept talking back. You were just so upset, you couldn't sit there in silence like a little soldier.

“So grow up, and stop acting like one! You made your choice and now here come the consequences. But you can’t even take em like the so-called adult you wanna be. Instead, you’re throwing a tantrum cause you didn’t get your way.”

“I'm not throwing a tantrum. I’m yelling because I’m just as good as Neteyam, but you don’t respect me enough to let me show it.”

“Guess what sweetheart, you gotta give respect to get respect.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You wanna know why Neteyam got to go on all the missions? Because he listened and acted responsibly when I asked him to. Because I know I can trust him. I can’t say the same for you.”

“Jake!” Your mother hissed at him. She knew he went too far with that one.

That hurt… a lot. “I hate you!” You screamed, tears welling up in your eyes. You looked up at the roof to slow the process but you knew that if you blinked or thought about his words, the tears would fall. You refused to let him see you cry. You refused to let him know just how much he hurt you. So you ran out of there as fast as you could.

You couldn’t even see where you were running to, but you ended up in Neteyam’s arms. He must have been there the whole time… listening to the entire argument. You tried to push him away but he held you tightly against his body until you stopped fighting him.

You let it all out, all the tears you were holding in. He held your head to his chest as you cried and ran his hand over your hair. Lo’ak appeared next. You were sure he got his ass chewed out too, but here he was to comfort you. You released from Neteyam’s hug to look at him. “You okay?” you ask, examining all the wraps on his body.

“I’m fine sis, don’t worry about me.” He wiped your tears away with his hand and tucked a few of your braids behind your ear. Neteyam’s arm was still around you, and you didn’t want him to let go. Both your brothers knew what it felt like to get scolded by your dad, so it warmed your heart that you weren’t alone right now.

“It’s okay baby sister, he won’t be mad forever. It will blow over soon,” Neteyam comforted.

“Whatever, I don’t care.” You lied, you did care. You had never had a fight with him like this. He was always so gentle with you, it felt like your special bond was breaking.

“Come on, let’s go find Spider at the lab. He’ll cheer you up,” Lo’ak offered.

“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea," Neteyam chimed in.

You appreciated that they didn't tell you ‘I told you so.’ So you nodded and agreed to go, taking Lo'ak's hand and following behind him.

“Neteyam.” You heard your father say from a distance away. It sounded like he was trying to speak quietly.

“Yeah, dad?” He replied.

“Just make sure she’s okay. And come back for dinner.”

“I will Dad, don’t worry.”

Jake probably thought you didn’t hear him say that. You could not believe he had the nerve to yell at you like that and then act like he cared.

Neteyam and Lo’ak ended up being right, Spider did get your mind off things. You told him all about today’s mission and he went on and on about how cool you were. He was a great friend to you, like another older brother… only smaller.

When you and your siblings returned home, you joined your parents for dinner. Everyone made small conversation, but you ate in silence. Your dad kept trying to catch your eye, but you tried twice as hard to avoid his gaze. You lost your appetite and could barely stomach the food, which was unfortunate because it was your favorite dish. You were sure your mom made it, especially for you.

You weren’t about to let your father think you were still affected by him, so you ate your dinner as quick as you could. You hoped that you could trick your brain into thinking you weren't feeling sick to your stomach. But that ended up backfiring because your dad reached over and refilled your bowl once it was finally empty. There was no way you could eat a second serving, so you accepted defeat and put the bowl down. Both Jake and Neytiri looked over at you in surprise. “Actually, I’m full,” you admit.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart. You ate so fast, I thought you wanted more,” he explained. That was the first time you made eye contact with him all evening. He had a sad look.

“Ma ite, don’t force yourself if you can’t eat anymore,” your mom added.

“Thanks, it was delicious mom. May I be excused? My stomach is a little upset.”

“Of course, my love," she said. Your parents gave you a look of concern before Mo’at interjected. “Shall I have a look at you, my child?”

“No grandmother, I’m okay. I’m just going to go rest.”

You went off on your own for a while, trying to occupy yourself with a million different things… like sharpening your knife and continuing to bead a necklace you had been working on. You stayed away for as long as you could before accepting that you had to go home at some point. Just as you were about to enter the tent, you stopped short. Your parents were talking… about you.

“Ma Jake, you were much too hard on her," your mother said.

“I can't let her think she can talk back like that and get away with it. Her attitude is out of line.”

“Hm… I wonder where she gets it from.”

“She wants to be treated the same as her brothers but when it comes to discipline, I’m too hard on her?!”

“She is used to being your little girl. If you yell at her like that, what do you expect is going to happen?”

“Why is she so eager to go out there on missions? She’s just a kid!”

“Our kids see Toruk Makto, the great warrior and the fearless Olo’eyktan of our clan. They just want to be like you and live up to your name. Neteyam and Lo’ak were like this too. Why would it be any different for y/n?”

“She’s not ready. She’s stubborn and she doesn’t listen. I can’t have her out there, it’s too risky.”

“No, she’s headstrong and she has been blindly following your orders without question... until today."

“What?”

“I know you are upset that she disobeyed you. But you know that you cannot keep her sheltered here forever. It is not the way.”

Your father began to say something but your mother cut him off quickly and continued.

“And this is not about her not being ready. She is more than ready. This is about your fear. She is your only daughter and she’s growing up. You are afraid to lose her and that is okay. But be honest with yourself and be honest with her, or she will end up resenting you for it.”

“Fuck, I just don’t know how to do this baby. It was so much easier with her brothers.”

“She doesn’t need a sergeant Jake, she just needs her father. That’s all you need to be. Show her that you care before trying to reprimand her. Right now she’s hurt and embarrassed, and you need to go to her and make it okay.”

“You always know the right thing to say.”

“I know, I'm amazing. Now go find our daughter.”

'Shit, he's coming,' you think. And you run as fast and as quietly as you possibly can. You went to a hideaway that you made with your brothers. The adults weren't supposed to know about it, but they did anyway. You were sure he was going to follow you there. You pick up the jewelry you were working on before and act busy, facing away from the entrance of the hideaway.

You hear him approach. “Sweetheart? You in here?” You don’t respond, wanting to hurt him like he hurt you.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you like that, it wasn’t okay.”

You’ve been replaying that fight over and over again in your head all day and trying to hold it together. Now that he was addressing it directly, you felt like you wanted to cry. ‘No, not now please. Not here in front of him’ you told yourself. You could hear the leaves on the ground crunch beneath his feet. He had entered the hideaway, but you couldn’t see because your back was turned.

“Please turn around, I just wanna talk about it,” he pleaded. He sounded desperate but you wouldn’t give in that easily.

“What is there to talk about when you won’t listen? It’s your way or no way, I should know that by now.” Your voice was trembling, you were so anxious now that you were being confronted by him. You couldn't hold back the tears.

“I’m ready to listen, okay? I promise.” Based on what you overheard between your parents, you knew he was being sincere. But you wanted him to suffer just a tad bit more.

“Come on, I’m trying here. Please look at me?”

But you couldn’t stay mad for long, no matter how hard you tried. You turned on your heel and faced him finally, but your eyes stayed at your feet. “Babygirl,” he called to you. His voice was different this time… softer and almost broken. When he called you that, it felt like suddenly everything would be okay again. And all you wanted to do was run to him.

You rose your head to look up at him. At the sight of your tear-stained face, he instantly dropped to his knees and opened his arms without saying a word. “Daddy!” you cried while running to him. Your little body hit him with so much force, he almost fell backward. But he held you tight, stabilizing the both of you and placing kisses all over your cheek and temple. Your crying became audible, but it sounded muffled against his body. It was like you were letting out all that you’ve been holding in today. It’s been such a long day.

“Shh, I’m here. I got you now,” he soothed you softly while running his hands over your hair. Your airways felt tight and it was difficult to breathe normally while you cried this hard.

Jake could feel you hyperventilating against him, so he motioned for you to take deep breaths with him. When your breathing returned to normal, he lifted you off the ground and began to walk over to the corner; taking a seat with you on his lap. The tears kept flowing while you spoke.

“I’m sorry… I talked back to you,” you cried.

“I know baby, it’s okay. I’m sorry too.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I said a lot of mean things to you back there, and I wish I could take it all back.” He cupped your cheek with his hand and the warmth of his skin was so comforting.

“I’m sorry I said that I hated you, I was just so mad at you. I didn’t mean it.”

“I know you didn’t. But even if you did hate me, I’d still love you.”

“Even after what I did today?” You looked at him with surprise but then lowered your gaze down to your lap, suddenly feeling ashamed.

“Look at me,” he ordered. His voice was stern but still soft, so you obeyed.

“There is nothing you could say or do that would make me stop loving you. No matter how upset I am, or how much we argue with each other… my love for you will never change. Because you’re my daughter, and I love you unconditionally. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now tell me what was going through your head today.”

“I just wanted to prove myself to you and show you that I could do it. And I know now how dangerous it was to go without informing anyone. And how dangerous it was to attack without orders. But Dad… we did it! We took out those guys so fast. We just weren’t prepared for the counterattack and everything got screwed up.”

Jake let out a deep sigh before speaking. “Babygirl, you don’t have to do things like this to prove yourself to me. Although you’re younger than Neteyam was when I let him on his first mission, you surpassed him in skill when he was this age.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Then I don’t understand. You know I can do it, so why won't you let me go?” Your mother said it was cause he was scared, you knew that now.

“Because I’m selfish.”

“What?”

“You’re still young, but you’re growing up so fast. I wanted to shield you from this war as much as I could. But it was foolish of me to think that I could keep you from being anything less than what you are. You’re a warrior like me. That’s what you’re meant to be, as long as you want to be.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Mhm. Your mom and I were talking it over and I couldn’t understand why I became so angry that you would even think of doing something like this. And she said it was because I was scared of losing my little girl. And she was right.”

You placed your head on your dad’s chest, wanting to comfort him like he was doing for you. He looked down at you and smiled, then continued to speak.

“When I saw you with your bow today, all dressed for the mission… I just wasn’t ready to send you out there. And when Lo’ak called me and told me that you were there with him, it felt like my heart had stopped beating. Thank goodness Lo’ak was fine when I got there, but to see you lying there unconscious… was one of the scariest moments of my life.”

He must have felt your tears on his chest because he looked down again. “Daddy, I’m really sorry that I put us in danger today. I didn’t want to make you and mom scared. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, y/n. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset by telling you all of this. All that matters is that you’re safe now.”

“Thanks for saving us."

“I’ll always come and save you kiddo. Anyway, I want you to know that you are ready. It was me that wasn’t ready to let you go.”

You took a deep breath and you felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. You could breathe again. “I feel like I’ve been fighting to be seen by you. Trying to live up to not only you, but Lo’ak and Neteyam as well. It was so hard, Dad.”

“I know baby, you can stop fighting now. You’ve worked so hard. You have exceeded my expectations, and you make me proud every day. I see you.”

Once you hear these words, you are overwhelmed with emotion. You started to believe you would never hear your father say this. You hug him even tighter and you feel his strong and steady arms around you.

“Will you forgive me for how I acted?” He asked.

“Of course I will, I love you.”

“I love you more.” He gave you another kiss on your forehead.

“Wait, this means I’m not grounded anymore right?”

He chuckled. “You are no longer grounded. But don’t think you can get away with that little attitude in the future.”

“And I can go on missions from now on?”

“For now, you’ll go on the ones I let Lo’ak go on. But you know you can’t pull today’s shit again.”

“I know.”

“You guys will follow orders, and always have your communication devices on you. No rogue missions, no impulsive decisions. Any slip ups from either of you, and you’re staying home. Copy?”

“Copy.”

“Good girl. How’s your head and stomach feeling?”

“So much better now.”

“Good. Oh and for what it's worth... I saw those AMP suits in the forest and your aim was spot on. We got the gear too, so thank you for that.”

“Yes! I knew it!”

“Alright alright, you got your skills from your mom…”

“And my attitude from you?” You cut in.

He laughed lightly. “I was gonna say confidence, but yeah that too. You’re definitely my kid,” he said while messing up the top of your hair.

“Dad!” You groaned.

“Come on, I’ll change your wraps before bed. I’m sure your grandmother’s probably sleeping by now.” And he knelt down in front of you so you could hop onto his back for ride like when you were little. You climbed on, wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“Now you gotta redo my hair too.”

“Alright, I got myself into that one. Let’s get outta here.”

He carried you out of the hideaway and you made your way back to your tent. A father and his little warrior.

[abibliophobiaa]

Chapter Eight: Feels Like

summary: in the aftermath, revelations are made (7k words).

warnings: allusions to sex, medical complications.

eddie munson x pregnant!reader || strangers to friends to lovers, unplanned pregnancy, and then they were roommates, forced proximity.

masterlist | previous chapter, next chapter

——

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Three words. Three simple words — and yet the most terrifying ones. The ones that changed everything. That marked a turning point, a declaration, a fork in the road. On one side, turn back — run to safety, to what you knew, the easier route. On the other, push onwards, accept change — take a flying leap into the air with nothing but faith to catch you.

And the look, the look on Eddie’s face. The pure, unadulterated fear at the way your features couldn’t dare to hide the swimming emotions that choked off your airway. The face that had betrayed you as he cupped your cheeks in his hands and captured your tears with his thumbs — as his brows furrowed at the pout of your bottom lip.

“Sweetheart…”

But it was too late. Caught up in the moment or not, caught up in the bliss of a post-sex haze — he’d said the words and they were there now. Out in the open. He couldn’t just will them away, couldn’t pretend he’d never said them, couldn’t turn back the very hands of time.

“You love me?”

You whimpered. Felt your heart cleave down the center at the way his mouth mashed against your forehead, those broad arms of his curling you against his chest, right where you could feel his form trembling down to the bone marrow. Could hear the thunderous beat of his heart clamoring through the tee shirt your fingers bunched up within your palm.

“I —”

His mouth opened. Shut again. Opened once more to speak, to say something, to hopefully quell your screaming fears tumbling one after the other within your mind, but as he did so the doorbell rang. A resounding ring that offered the distraction you needed to drown out the disquiet in your soul.

You dressed in the silence that echoed within the room. Donned a pair of sleep shorts and pulled on your too-big hoodie. Padded down the hall with Eddie on your heels, slipper-covered feet clapping against the floor.

Before your fingers met the handle on the front door, Eddie called your name. Frowned softly as you whirled around to look at him, those lips of his marred by hurt you'd put there. Had never meant to — had never wanted to, but it happened all the same. With a slow exhale, you leaned up onto your toes and pressed the softest of kisses to his lips. Caught the hitched breath in the back of his throat.

As you pulled back, your resolve shattered at the brokenness there. At the way he regarded you like you were already distancing away from him — or maybe it was him distancing himself from you. Either way, you could see those walls building up behind his eyes. Watched as he erected the surface brick by brick to protect himself. Couldn’t even blame him, because you knew you’d done the same for months now.

Eddie went and opened the door at the second ring. Lingered behind as you shrieked when, there on the front step of your home, stood none other than Micah and Jeremiah, their bags in hand and car parked on the curb, seemingly packed for a day or two.

You were all a blur of limbs and tear-streaked cheeks, your arms looped around Micah’s neck, her arms around your waist. Her hand pressed to your belly when you stepped back, jumping up and down excitedly when Elena made her presence known. “There’s really a baby in there! Still can’t get over it.” She nearly squealed, as Jeremiah looped an arm around your shoulder and Eddie’s and tugged you both in close.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, not complaining, definitely not at all complaining. And even so, it was wholly unexpected. The last time you’d spoken with the girl, she’d been uncertain of if or when she’d be able to make it into town.

“Eddie invited us to stay with you two, actually. Wanted it to be a surprise,” Jeremiah said, clapping the man you’d been living with for months now on the shoulder gleefully. “Got yourself a good one here.”

I love you, Eddie had said. The words and the timbre of them, the way they sounded on his lips, filled your ears once again. Silenced everything else around you as Eddie helped lead your best friends further into his home and gave them a tour. You remained at Micah’s side, mind far away as you followed along with them, drawing comfort from the way Elena pushed at the palm you kept positioned over your midsection.

“You okay, babe?” Micah asked as you all settled down in the living room and the guys opened up cans of beer, sleep suddenly a thought pushed far away from your fatigued mind.

“Just in shock,” you muttered, far away, watching Eddie’s profile as he laughed at something your best friend’s boyfriend had shared. Eddie’s dark eyes met yours, and you heard it again: I love you. A mantra, a steady beat, a promise. “I just…can’t believe you’re here.”

Not a lie. Not quite, at least. And yet, Micah frowned. Reached over and laced her fingers within your own. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Not really. No. Not at all. You held your breath as Eddie offered you a weak smile — as you smiled back, knowing you needed a moment with him, and yet also acknowledging that now wasn’t the time. Not with your company for the next few days.

I love you.

His words screamed into that faraway, tucked-into-the-shadows shard of your heart. The place where the idea of ‘love’ had gone and ceased to be. The place where hurt had watered the seeds of resentment over the mere concept of it.

“No…no, it’s fine.” You assured her, and she seemed to accept the words, knowing better than to push you for answers. “Do you want to see what Eddie did with Elena’s room?”

A distraction.

You needed a distraction.

“Sure, babe,” Micah whispered, squeezing your hand tight as you excused yourselves from the room.

She didn’t press you any further.

——

May morning light streamed in through Eddie’s bedroom window. After hours of chatting with friends, you’d both made your way into the bedroom in silence, freshly washed faces and brushed teeth gleaming in the moonlight streaming through the gently parted curtains.

Neither brought up Eddie’s words. You wondered if it was for your benefit, or to protect his own heart. Like he couldn’t fathom seeing the look on your face once more, and the answer you’d unwittingly given by not saying anything at all. And even if you wanted to talk about it, you didn’t know how to bring it up now. The moment had passed, the harm was done, and the guilt that filled your heart overwhelmed every other thought you might have had in your mind. Because Eddie had gone and invited your best friends to Hawkins. He’d wanted to give you a slice of your home away from home, before your lives completely changed from what you once knew.

Even now, he held you close. The nearness of his body against your spine a comfort, a warmth you’d grown accustomed to, his breath dancing along the slope of your shoulder, where the strap of your nightgown had slipped down a bit. One of his broad hands rested against the curve of your hip, always seeking you out, always seeking touch — even in your sleep. When it happened, the endless need for close proximity, for touch, you weren’t certain, but it became familiar. As simple as breathing, even when love was not.

His other hand lay sprawled over the curve of your midsection. Rumpled up the silky fabric of your dress, edging the lace up higher on your thigh. Most mornings, he’d rouse you with kisses against every inch of you he could reach until you hummed into him, the press of him, hot and hard at your backside. Often you’d roll over, and then onto him, watching his umber eyes blow out dark, nearly black, with the rising sun as you sunk down onto him and rolled your hips over his. Other mornings, he’d wake you with his head between your thighs, or your mouth on him, a previously spoken agreement between both of you.

Today wasn’t like that. There were no long, drawn out languid kisses and wandering hands. No sighs as he inched his mouth along your throat, the huffs of his stuttering breath as your fingers slid beneath the band of his sweats, no pleas for more as his guitar string calloused fingers teased at your center.

Instead you were met with silence and persistent heartache over the memory of the flicker of pain that crossed Eddie’s features the night before.

Later, after an awkward exchange in bed wherein Eddie grumbled to himself he’d make everyone breakfast, you found yourself cornered at a local spa by your three best friends, their introductions full of giggling and excited energy. You were hardly surprised — Micah and Chrissy were very similar, two kindred souls, and Robin loved Micah from the moment they’d all met.

Still, it brought you joy knowing they all got along, their conversation easy as you all slipped into fluffy robes and sat around as massage therapists rubbed at your shoulders, eyes nearly closed from the bliss of it. Eddie had arranged the whole thing; a morning out with your closest girlfriends, getting your nails done, massages to follow. You’d gone with a pale pink on your fingers and a matching shade on your toes, similar to that of your daughter’s bedroom.

Eddie, who always went above and beyond to make you smile. Had given up room in his home, had been there for you the moment you told him you were having his baby, had stepped up in ways you’d never thought imaginable. Eddie, who loved giving the most of himself, had always done so for as long as you’d known him, who was still doing that now.

Elena was a lucky little girl. You both were. And it hurt you to dwell on it — the realization he’d done this, had planned it some time ago.

“We need to have an intervention,” Chrissy stated when you later arrived at a restaurant for an early lunch, her palms splayed over the table. “You’ve been in your head all morning. And don’t say you haven’t been, you have that little forehead wrinkle —”

“She does get a forehead wrinkle when she’s overthinking,” Micah added, nodding as she sipped at her mimosa. “I knew something was up last night. She’s been all giggly over the moon because of all the sex she’s been having, and suddenly it’s all grumbles and sad looks —”

“Well this just got interesting,” Robin mused, leaning back against her chair. “You didn’t tell us you and Eddie were christening his household.”

“You two are his best friends. I — it’s weird. And that’s…that’s not important,” you said hurriedly, tossing a french fry into your mouth. “I’m just…he just…hetoldmehelovedme.”

“I’m going to need you to take a deep breath and say that slower,” Chrissy said with an uneasy giggle, “because it sounded like you spoke another language for a second there.”

“He told me he loved me,” you told them, sipping at your cup of seltzer water, shrugging like you hadn’t just dropped a major declaration on them.

“Okaaaay, and?” Micah urged, waving a hand in front of her face impatiently.

Robin frowned. A soft and impossibly understanding looking thing that had her reaching across the table when your lips twitched downward. “Honey…”

“I didn’t say anything at all,” you admitted, fighting the urge to cry. Swallowed the watery sob that tickled the back of your throat. “He told me he loved me and I just…I sat there. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t speak — but it was too late. He looked so sad. And I feel terrible; I am terrible.”

When no one said anything, all around the table giving you looks with varying degrees of pity behind them, you continued, “I was scared. I'm still scared. What if he wakes up one day and decides I’m not what he wants anymore? What if he realizes he made a mistake?”

Chrissy exhaled, clambering up and off her chair to move to your side, arm looped around your shoulder. “Can we play the tape forward again?” She glanced at your friends, asking, “Don’t you think we should play the tape forward?” Micah nodded, Robin agreeing with a squeeze to your palm still curled within her own.

“Scenario one,” you said, exhaling shakily, “We continue this, he realizes this isn’t really what he signed up for, and he goes on his merry way. I have to watch him date other people, bring them around our daughter, and move on without me.”

Scenario one was always the negative route, and Chrissy nodded as you finished, offering you a comforting nod. “Okay, now scenario two,” she said, knowing it was her turn for her little exercise. “What if you two are it for each other? You raise Elena together, go on the road together, make new memories, fall deeper in love. You watch that little girl one day go off to college and start her own life, and you’re still just as in love, and maybe you’ve gone through some trials in your relationship since then, but doesn’t everyone? Isn’t every relationship worth fighting for? And you’re happy. Both of you are genuinely and completely happy and you’re together.”

“Also, Eddie isn't like those in your past. He’s not your family that walked away, not your friends who have come and gone, he’s not all those heartbreaks that have come before,” Micah added, offering you a kind smile. “I mean, he did all of this to make you happy. The man put together our whole outing and made sure Jeremiah and I had a place to stay while we were here. I think anyone who spent two minutes with you two could see how much that man loves you and your little girl…who isn’t even here yet.”

“Love shows up,” Chrissy said, “let Eddie show that he will.”

“Dingus Two found his girl,” Robin mused, poking fun at Chrissy’s husband with a cheeky grin. “But here’s the big question: do you love him?”

There it was. The question that had been plaguing you for weeks now. Did you love him? Did you love Eddie Munson? The easy answer, the one that came to your mind swiftly, was yes. A simple word, but along with it the heaviest of weights. You loved him — truly and deeply loved him. It had only taken a matter of weeks to fall for him, only a matter of weeks to solidify just what he’d meant to you, and a matter of weeks to realize what was at stake if you ever lost him.

“There’s your answer,” Robin teased, pointing at the small smile gracing your lips.

“God, I’m so stupid,” you groaned, curling a palm over your forehead.

“You’re not stupid,” Micah argued, running around the table to curl you and Chrissy into her embrace. “You just needed some time. You deserve this. You’re worthy of this. And I’m so proud of you, babe.”

Chrissy practically squealed as she rubbed at the tears collecting on your bottom lashes, all bright smiles and sparkling eyes. “I love you so so much,” she enthused, giggling brightly, “but…today isn’t over yet, and we’re on a time restraint. Eddie’s next request on your day of pampering is to find a dress, any dress, for dinner at my place.”

Your brows arched. “I have dresses back at our place —”

“He wanted you to pick out a new one,” Micah said, teasingly wagging her brows.

So with a renewed hope burning in your gut, your friends and you finished lunch, gathered your things, and headed to the department store where they tossed you dozens of dresses in search of the perfect one. And finally, as you laid a long black dress with daisies along the fabric along your form, you stepped out into the waiting area of the fitting room to three beaming faces, all of which cheering on your choice, your mind still whirling with the knowledge that Eddie had done all of this because he loved you.

And you loved him.

——

“No way…”

The words died on your lips as you walked out into the backyard after your girl friends and saw the array of people seated and chatting around the tables set out across the Harrington’s backyard lawn. There, along the interior of a tent set up above a table positively overflowing with baby gifts, was an archway of pink balloons, and against the table a hanging sign that said baby girl in pretty block letters.

And there, organizing packages against the table that partygoers handed him, was the man who was responsible for all of this. For your friends being here in Hawkins, for the evening you had with them at the spa and out for lunch, for the baby shower you’d just stumbled into.

Beside you, Robin, Chrissy and Micah were all glowing smiles. Little cheers and clapping hands as you took in your surroundings, from Steve and Jeremiah at the grill, to “the kids” seated around a table, waving as you entered, friends from work, Joyce and Hopper who you’d become friends with over the weeks, Wayne, who tipped a beer in your direction with a smile that crinkled at the corners of his mouth and eyes.

Eddie turned then, looking handsome as ever in a pair of ripped blue jeans and a black tee shirt that showed all of the tattoos you’d trailed your fingers over these last few weeks. He’d tied his hair back, little curled tendrils falling around the sides of his face, swaying in the gentle breeze as he walked your way and leaned down to kiss your forehead. Forehead, you noticed, with a pang of disappointment.

Still, your fingers curled in the front of his shirt, sandaled feet wiggling against the grass as you whispered, “Was this your doing?”

“Chrissy helped,” he said, gesturing to the blonde who merely mouthed that she loved you at Eddie’s words. “We invited all of the family.”

All of the family. Because when you glanced around the party parameters, family was all you saw. People who had been strangers months ago, and were now the ones you leaned on, the ones who loved unabashedly, the ones who had been there when no one else was. The ones you chose, and the ones who made you realize that, in a world of frequent hurt, there were people who would always walk beside you no matter what.

These people. And at the center of all of that — Eddie Munson.

“You didn’t have to do all of this —”

“I wanted to,” he said, brushing another kiss along your forehead. “We all did.”

“Now come on,” Chrissy said, practically bouncing on her toes as she rushed over to clasp your hand in hers, “there are guests to greet, and a special chair with your name on it for the mom-to-be. Let us spoil you!”

The evening passed in hazy pastel pinks that mirrored the sunset against the sky. Lilac purples as you pulled out baby girl outfit after outfit. Pretty olive greens on little sleepers and baby blankets. In dusty oranges, like the colors of the rainbow binkies, bibs and bottle tops you received.

Micah sat beside you writing down the endless things you got, while Chrissy and Robin giggled conspiratorially to themselves as they plastered the endless ribbons and bows on packages to a makeshift hat that you definitely knew would be atrocious by the end result.

Eddie lingered by Steve and Jeremiah at a lone table, his legs kicked out in front of him, arms crossed over his chest, a smile plastered on his face. It made your heart skip in your chest, watching him watch you. Made you want to run over and tell him the three words that rattled around in your brain all afternoon with every new gift opened.

You loved him, you loved him, you loved him.

Later, as Eddie pushed the gifted stroller you got, filled to the brim with packages, into his home you thought about telling him. The words bubbled up on your lips as he and Steve worked on unloading everything into Elena’s room. As you started to put away the things you knew you could, while you tossed all her new clothes into a hamper to be washed before she arrived.

Steve leaned over to give you a hug before he announced he was heading out for the evening, and Eddie thanked him with a clap against his back and a tight squeeze, before the man wished you both goodnight and offered a final congratulations for the little girl everyone had celebrated that evening.

You slipped into your shared bedroom in uncomfortable silence, Micah and Jeremiah driving back home to the city and leaving you with a quiet home once more. It had been a tearful goodbye, your hands on her cheeks and hers on your midsection as she promised she’d be back as soon as possible to meet Elena. Jeremiah had even whispered in your ear he’d gotten Micah a ring and, after you demanded him to show you, thanked him for being the best brother by choice one could have, and a loving soon-to-be uncle.

“I’m going to spend the night at my uncle’s…” Eddie announced as you clambered up and onto the bed, blankets tugged high against your thighs.

“What?” Your head tilted to the side, not quite understanding, even as Eddie grabbed a few of his things and began tossing them into a backpack.

“I just…I think I need a minute?” He swallowed thickly, and your heart ached with it. With the understanding of what he was saying. “Just — just need to, ah, clear my head, you know?”

“Eddie, I…”

But you understood. Had seen the look on his face clear as day — the hurt there. He’d laid his heart out for you, gave you the power to do with it as you would, and you’d remained quiet. In your silence, he’d gotten his perceived answer.

“Just for the night,” he stated, a pair of his sweats tossed into the bag with a ratty old band tank top. “I’ll see you when I get off from work tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay…” You said, even thought it was far from okay.

None of this was okay.

You wanted to scream, to cry, to shout that you loved him. And even so, you knew now wasn’t the time. Not when he’d already made up his mind, stewed in his hurt, and ached with the full force of it. He was allowed all of what he was feeling — deserved to sit in his emotions and their fullness.

Still, it did nothing for the sting of rejection in your gut as you followed him down the hall, watching his backpack thump against his narrow back. Did nothing to quell the ache in your chest when he turned around and cupped your cheek in his palm, eyes dark and focused on yours, full of love and sadness all the same. Leaning up onto your toes, you brushed your lips against his, the barest of touches, a shuddered breath falling from your softly parted lips.

For a moment his resolve wavered, hands pulling you closer, breathing a little ragged. Flickered across his features as he leaned back down and kissed you again. But your fingers reached up and gently rubbed along his sternum, forehead nuzzling against his, and he took a step back, fingers curling around the front door handle.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, night pouring into the home, anguish seeping into your blood.

“See you tomorrow,” you muttered back a little brokenly, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as he slipped out and shut the door behind him. “I love you.”

A whisper, a little too late, but not at all untrue.

And then, without Eddie’s laughter and voice to fill the home, silence.

——

Something wasn’t right.

Then again, a lot hadn’t been right since Eddie walked out last night to spend the rest of his evening at Wayne’s. Waking up had been miserable with the lack of Eddie’s warmth along your back. That and you missed the sound of his voice, that first slow breath he always let out when he leaned over and kissed you long and gently, like he’d poured all of the time he’d spent missing you in his dreams along with it, overflowing with emotion.

But this wasn’t just the persistent ache in your chest that had been there since Eddie closed the door behind him. This was a cramping feeling that throbbed low against your stomach, like your menstrual cramps but stronger. Breath falling from you in a groan, you walked over to the front desk library check out area, hand on your back, your coworker, Holly’s, eyes nervously fixed on your face.

“That’s five,” she pointed out, sliding out a chair and rolling it over for you to sit down on. Once seated, her hand curled around your shoulder, a contemplative look on her features, “I think you need to get out of here and go to the hospital. I’ll take care of everything —”

“I can’t,” you gritted out through clenched teeth, wincing at the pain, “It’s too early. I'm only thirty weeks.”

“Exactly why you need to go,” she said, and you nodded because you knew. “Please, just…get checked out. We can take care of everything around here.”

You tried calling Eddie at the nurses office, but the phone only continued to ring, the guys likely in the back working. Tried again when Steve popped his head in and said Chrissy would take you to the hospital, hugging you when you’d whimpered you were scared. Tried a final time when you got to the hospital, terrified when you were immediately hooked up to various monitors and pricked with what felt like dozens of needles.

“It’s going to be okay,” Chrissy reassured you, when the doctor’s said they needed to keep you there to try and stop what looked to be preterm labor. Words that terrified you, because they were the ones that immediately dropped like lead in your stomach, worry for Elena tightening your chest. Choked off your breathing. “And he’ll be here soon, okay? Robin raced over there to get him. You’re going to be just fine, I promise.”

Her fingers swept back and forth over your knuckles, words a comforting whisper that quelled the frantic beat of your heart in your ribcage.

Mind whirling with thoughts, you closed your eyes and tipped your head to the ceiling, trying to breathe deep. Elena would be okay — she wouldn’t come today. Everything would be absolutely okay. The doctor’s were going to do their best to make sure of it. Chrissy was here, you weren’t alone, everything was fine, and Eddie would be here soon.

——

To say Eddie Munson hated hospitals was an understatement. The last time he’d been here, him and his mother had gone in, and only one of them made it out. This time, the two most important people in his life were here, one of which was likely scared out of their mind and he’d been gone. He’d left and something had gone wrong; he’d left and regretted it from the moment he’d closed the door. Had almost turned back around and rushed back into the house, claiming your lips with his, wanting you laying prettily against a mountain of pillows on his bed so he could whisper he loved you into your mouth once more.

But he hadn’t. He’d driven away and watched his house grow smaller in the distance, slept at his uncle’s, and missed your phone calls when you’d needed him the most. Had nearly shit himself when Robin rushed in without warning, earning the attention of all his coworkers, and said you were in the hospital.

“I need —” Eddie rasped out through frantic breaths as he greeted the front desk worker, chest rising and falling rapidly. He gave your name, at which the woman asked who he was to you, and he quickly added, “Husband. I’m her husband.”

The walk down the hall seemingly shaved years off of his life. Heart thundering away along the pale walled hallway, shoes tapping against the floor. He hadn’t had a chance to change, hair still pulled back, jumpsuit still on. Oil stained his fingers black, despite the hard scrub he’d given them before leaving for the hospital.

As he entered, his heart squeezed at the sight of you in a gown, an IV in one hand, a cuff around the other bicep, all teary eyed as he appeared in the doorway.

You’d barely managed to open your arms fully to him when he rushed forward and curled you into his arms, hand cupped around the neck to draw you into the safety of his chest, rocking you back and forth as you weeped into the fabric of his tattered jumpsuit.

“I’ll give you two a moment,” Chrissy murmured, backing up out of the room, “I’m going to call Steve and Robin. They’ll want an update.”

As soon as she left, Eddie pulled back a bit and cupped your face in his hands. Brushed a kiss to either side of your cheek and rubbed at the tears that had spilled down your face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re here now,” you whispered, leaning your forehead against his.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He promised, his kiss on your lips bruising, and yet you sighed into it all the same, urging him onward. Gripped him tighter, his tee shirt hidden beneath his jumpsuit fisted in your palm. “Never again. I promise. I love you, I love you, and I’m so fucking sorry and I’m so —”

“I love you, too,” you whimpered into his neck. He pulled back, hearing the hitched breath you let out. The sob that followed. “I’m scared out of my mind, because of what you mean to me, but I’m going to be brave because this is worth it — and I love you. I wanted to tell you yesterday but —”

He kissed you again, urgent and searing. Felt you melt into his frame, arms looping around his neck, curling into the hairs at the back of his head. The heart monitor near the hospital bed spiked, and he grinned to himself against your lips, feeling your chuckles against his skin. Your sides shaking where he cupped them in his palms, the sides of his thighs pressed against yours, body leaning as much as he could over yours with the elevated bed.

“You love me?”

“Yes,” you giggled brightly, your smile splintering his heart into a million shining pieces, “I love you, you dork.”

God, he could stay like this forever. Pressed his forehead against yours, fingers laced with yours in your lap, breathing in the space between you two. Relishing in the comfort of the newness of love — basking in it. But a knock sounded at the door and Eddie was reminded of why you were here. Fear had him shifting on the bed, his mouth pressed to your knuckles as the doctor explained their course of treatment. You’d be staying under observation, medicine already ran through your IV in hopes of stopping things from progressing any further. Prognosis looked good, which had Eddie and you beside him exhaling deeply in relief. Otherwise, outside of the scare, Elena looked perfect.

He remained at your side for the next twenty four hours, only stepping away when nurses came in to check yours and Elena’s vitals every so often. Chrissy and Steve popped in to check on the both of you, offering to bring in food or a change of clothes or whatever else you needed.

Even Wayne and the kids had stepped in, running over to Eddie’s to clean up the place so that when you went home, you’d be able to get to rest.

Bed rest, that was. For the next few weeks, however long Elena decided to stay put, you were on ordered bed rest. Eddie thought your pouting adorable when the doctor had told you all the things you wouldn’t be able to do. Had held your hand when you whined about it after, not wanting to cut out of work just before the school year had ended (you’d grown fond of the kids). You’d also gone on to grumble about how you weren’t allowed any strenuous activity, head pressed against the dashboard in his car when you’d later come to realize that also included any sexual activity as well.

“It’ll be okay. It’s only a couple of weeks,” Eddie said, running a hand along your back when he pulled up in front of his house, kiss after kiss dropped against your temple. “Come on now, got to get you into bed. Doctor’s orders.”

“You’ll stay with me?”

“You’re not getting rid of me,” he promised, opening his car door and rushing around to greet you on the other side. “Except for when I have to work, but then Chrissy and Robin and the kids will be taking shifts.”

“You all really don’t have to do this,” you said, easing yourself down onto the ground, squeezing Eddie’s hand in yours. “I’ll be okay on my own for a bit.”

“I know that, but you don’t have to be. We want to help; we love you.” He laughed, coaxing you in front of him along the walkway. “Plus, you need to slow down. The doctor said so.”

Inside, Eddie watched your face light up as you walked down the hall and slipped inside his bedroom. He peeled back the comforter and tucked it around your hips once you settled down, before rushing around the other side and slipping in beside you.

His hand glided up and over your hip as you shifted to face him, along the curve of your waist, across the span of your arm, and then rested on the hinge of your jaw. Warmth seeped into his fingers, your lips soft against his when you leaned over to kiss him. As if you still couldn’t believe he was there, like you expected him to vanish, like you hadn’t fully realized he’d be yours forever if you’d let him.

And then, as your eyes started to droop in tiredness, you asked, “You love me, Eddie?”

He pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I love you.”

The other cheek. “I love you.”

Your forehead. “I love you.”

Your chin, where you giggled. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he whispered, running his nose down the length of yours.

He’d reassure you every day if he had to, helping to heal your heart piece by piece — to prove to you that people stayed.

That people still chose love everyday and meant it.

Stay, when his father hadn’t.

Stay, when his mother hadn’t been able to.

He’d do it all just to have you here, like this.

——

Late June, Six Weeks Later…

——

“Why the pout?” Eddie asked, wandering into the living room where you were presently wrapped up in a blanket, thankful for the AC blowing frigid air into the heated home.

“I tried to go for a walk and couldn’t see my feet. I called Chrissy to see if she’d be able to help me, but then we ended up making ice cream sundaes instead.”

“Baby, you haven’t seen your feet in weeks,” Eddie said, dropping down onto the couch beside you, palm running over the hill of your midsection, still in awe as ever that he’d be meeting his daughter in just a few weeks.

“That’s mean.” You pouted.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, a gentle kiss brushed against your lips, “Also, it sounds like your day was better than mine.”

“Hardly,” you huffed out, snuggling into his side, “it’s the same as the past six weeks. I wake up, I say goodbye to you, someone comes to visit, I walk to the bathroom to pee seventy five times, I go to bed.”

“Only a little while longer now,” Eddie promised.

But he knew it had been hard. The initial days were an adjustment. For someone who’d been used to doing all the time, you’d had a hard time adjusting to being unable to do many of the things you’d done before the scare.

It helped that Micah and Jeremiah got engaged soon thereafter; gave you something to focus on, something to be excited about. After that, you enjoyed the company of the kids. Mike, El and Will would come over and play cards with you. Dustin and Suzie would bring board games, and you’d argue with Dustin when he assumed you were cheating (bedrest had just made you really good at board games). Max and Lucas checked in, back in town on a visit. Joyce and Hopper brought food. Steve and Chrissy popped in with Melody. Robin came with Vickie, always with new gifts for their new niece (no matter how often you reminded them she had enough clothes).

Soon enough, you became stir crazy. Resorted to working on puzzles, coloring in coloring books, watching your favorite movies over and over again. Walks were limited — not more than a few minutes allotted, just to make sure you didn’t overexert. That, and Eddie watched you like a hawk. Wanted to make sure you were okay at all times.

Part of you wanted to find it annoying, but it only endeared you to him further. Being in love with Eddie was easy. So easy you wondered why you’d feared it at all in the first place. He was attentive and doting, affectionate and patient, hilarity ensued and yet grave when he needed to be.

As much as you hated being stuck inside for the past six weeks, you’d loved that intimate time spent with Eddie, enjoying the fullness of your relationship before Elena’s arrival.

“Come on, let’s get in bed,” Eddie mused, climbing up off the couch, extending a hand your way.

“I need a solid cuddle,” you grumbled, hand on your lower back as he helped you up on wobbly feet. “My back is all crampy today.”

“You’re cramping?” he asked, sounding a little worried, his voice growing softer.

“It’s nothing,” you reassured him, rubbing at the place that twinged once more, “Just discomfort of being a million weeks pregnant with your restless kid.”

“Oh, so she’s my kid now?”

“She is when she stomps on my bladder like she’s at one of your metal shows,” you teased, slipping beneath the covers of the bed. “Can you believe we’re the same two people who met on Halloween?”

“Honestly?” He crawled in next to you, fingers trailing along your temple. A light kiss pressed against your lips. “I wanted you from the moment I saw you, Buttercup. Maybe we skipped a couple of steps along the way, but I wouldn’t change any of it.”

“I wouldn’t either.” And it was true. All the imperfections, the hurdles, the joy and laughter, the good and bad — you’d do it all again to get to this point. “I love you, Eddie.”

You said it all the time now. Randomly throughout the day, over dinner, in the morning, cleaning dishes in the afternoon. The words were still new, still so precious to you. Just as the man who held them near to his heart was.

“I love you, sweetheart.”

It was a whisper against the crown of your head as you rolled over, smiling at the familiarity of his arm slinging around your form, his chest against your back. Your anchor, for months now, as you slipped into rest.

Hours later, however, you woke to the bed feeling wet, Eddie’s hand against your shoulder, your head spinning from the pain that ached low, eyes blinking rapidly to adjust to the bedroom lamp being turned on abruptly.

You winced, and Eddie ghosted a kiss against your temple. “Eddie…” The searing pain followed, cutting off the rest of your statement.

“You think it’s time?” he asked, swallowing back the groan forming in the back of his throat as your fingers curled around his fingers and squeezed hard, the bones sliding together painfully. “Right — right, dumb question. Ow. Let me grab the hospital bag. You stay there, don’t move.”

It wasn’t like you wanted to anyway.

Panicking, he rushed around the room gathering your things. Tossed the hospital bag onto the bed, along with your slippers. He traded his sweats for a pair of jeans and pulled his hair back, as you slipped on a hoodie over your sleep shorts. When another pain lanced through you, you hunched over the bed a bit, gripping Eddie’s forearm as he appeared at your side.

“You have everything?” you asked through gritted teeth, straightening as the pain started to subside.

“Diaper bag, change of clothes for us, car seat…” he rambled off, coaxing you to walk down the hall, “the woman I love —”

“That was corny,” you laughed, sniffling at the tears that formed in your eyes when he opened your car door for you once outside.

His thumb brushed at your cheek. “Just trying to keep a smile on that face, Buttercup.”

As you buckled yourself in, he rushed around the back, clipping in the car seat like Steve had shown him a couple weeks ago. The hospital bag was tossed in beside it and the door shut, your eyes following his form as he darted around the vehicle and got in your front driver’s side. He still hadn’t fixed his van, so your car would be the baby mobile for a bit.

As he settled down, a kiss was dropped to your forehead and a palm cupped your cheek, those dark eyes of his searching your weary, fear-stricken face. “Ready to meet our girl?”

“I’m ready.”

——

our happiest little epilogue is next. thanks for being patient, i have been having a hard time again health wise, but you all make it less daunting. 🥹🩷

[night-raven-tattler]

Say hi to daddy!

Summary: How would these characters behave as fathers? What does their ideal family look like?

Characters: Savanaclaw dorm (Leona, Jack, Ruggie)

Other parts of the series: Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignyhide, Diasomnia, Royal Sword Academy

Warnings: none

By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

The chances of Leona agreeing to having kids is very low: he has a lot of baggage and personal beliefs that would make him not be fully on board

Plus, why would he need another screeching box when Cheka is already around?

But then a bit later in life... something happens and suddenly he has a child in his and his partner's care

Because why would anything ever go the way he wants?

Yet, he grows attached, with the help of his partner

He's the only one who can put the kiddo to sleep, and the only one whose hair the kiddo likes to play with

While his lazy predisposition doesn't allow Leona to go too much out his way for the kid, he's far from an absent father

He is not only present but trying his best to be an example

Because, even if the child ends up seeing him as a bad example, he will be satisfied with the lessons he managed to teach

He loves roughhousing with the kid or challenging their young mind

And when he's too overwhelmed, Cousin Cheka is available for babysitting duty

For Leona, fatherhood becomes a time of finally healing inner wounds while becoming more understanding without being dejected: it's the time when he finally finds an inner balance and find some peace

...he still won't ask Falena for fatherly advice though

Leona is, for sure, a girl dad; he also will pump the brakes at 1 child, 2 children would probably open old wounds he's not quite ready to deal with

『••✎••』

Jack is, undeniably, a family man whose life goals follow a pretty traditional route: get married, have children, grow old and see his family thrive

His classmates sometimes teased him lightly about it, but they all were happy for him when they saw Jack's content smile at his wedding and later at the apparition of his first child

From the very beginning, Jack is a good husband and a doting father, and he loves spending one on one time with his kids the most

Jack loves having his little ones join him in his training regimens, even if all they do is watch and ask questions

That's what they do usually anyway, the kiddos have been waddling towards their dad since they were in diapers

Dominant beastmen traits or not, he still expects them to do their best physically, and he's the dad to sign up every kid for a sport

Not that he wouldn't be understanding if any of his kids happened to take a less physically challenging path in life: he'd be just as supportive, but he'd also reflect on his actions and ask his partner if they think he's done something wrong

Parenthood is a chance for Jack to learn how to be more of a team player, not only as part of a parental unit, but also as a dad who needs to meet his kids in the middle and understand that the "pack leader" can still be wrong if he doesn't listen to his pack

Jack would enjoy 3-4 kids, he loves the idea of a big family, and he'd totally be a boy dad

『••✎••』

Ruggie

Ruggie never really thought about having kids, his main focus has always been financial stability and reducing that food anxiety

But it's very likely Ruggie would end up with an unplanned kid

He wasn't completely on board with the idea of parenthood... until his little one looked into his eyes and smiled

Did Ruggie accidentally pass down his pickpocketing skills to this kid? Because they just stole his heart

But that doesn't mean he really has a good grip on what parenting really means; yes, Ruggie is dependable and responsible, but he also is an orphan who has always fought against a lot of prejudice

So he often relies on his grandma for advice, she's the closes thing he has to a parent

He's the dad that really pushes his kid to learn as many things as they can, anything that can become a life skill will eventually come in handy

He helps his kid build up their independence, while they help him become more open and honest

Ruggie is very open with his child about his upbringing from the moment he feels like they are ready to hear it, and he makes them understand that his position in the Sunset Savannah is nowhere near the top as a hyena beastman

But he promises them that they are not any less worth being someone deserving of living comfortably just because of some societal garbage

Ruggie doesn't really have a gender preference, but would prefer 1 child, so the financial burden wouldn't be too heavy

『••✎••』

[byuntrash101]

break up with him

reader x dom!jongho ft. yunho

smut | angst | nsfw | mdni

unrequited love, jealousy, cheating, spanking, oral (m), deepthroat, unprotected sex (not even the pull out method), degradation (slut, whore, sow), guilt, mean jongho is kinda mean but i luv it, bf!yunho cameo, getting caught kink, this one is kinda ansgty

requested | part of my 2023 prompt event [closed]

jongho is tired to be the bad guy. tired of acting like he doesn't care when you kiss him. tired of lying to his best friend. and he's ready to put everything on the line. he wants you for himself only.

[❛ you look like you were jealous. ❜ + ❛ say you want me, and i’m yours. ❜]

TUMBLR IS BASED ON REBLOGS. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK 🖤

Jongho didn't understand how he got there. 

How did he fall in love with one of his best friends' girl. But how could he not? Given the sinful things you both did in the private company of each other. How could he not when his name sounded so melodic hanging on your perfect lips, rolling off your hot tongue between moans and pants. How could he not fall for you ? Knowing that when Yunho will be sleeping tonight you'll come over to his room again. Do it all over again, stomp on his heart to protect your boyfriend's.

Because Yunho was the love of your life. Of that you were deeply convinced. It was love you felt when he held you in his arms and you rested your head on his broad chest. It was love you heard when he murmured sweet nothings in your ear. It was love when he made you smile. It was love when he made you laugh. It was love. True Love.

So why didn't you feel complete? Why was there something perpetually missing ? You tried so hard to find that thing in Yunho. But it was in vain. That something you couldn't name, you couldn't identify…

On one drunken night at the dorm you finally put your finger on it. Only you and Jongho were left. All the others were either blacked out drunk or just sleeping. Neither of you thought of anything beforehand. It wasn't planned, it all happened naturally. You were drawn to him, drawn to the missing puzzle piece that your boyfriend couldn't provide. That night was electrifying, that raw feeling of thrill, of excitement. That was the danger you've been missing. The risk, the edge. The sin.

That night was a slip up, a mistake you were both too drunk to think straight. It was unplanned and it should have stayed that way. But all the other nights that followed didn't really stick to the fortuity of the first one. The others were all prepared. And this one too.

Jongho couldn't handle it anymore. The secrecy, the way he had to act unbothered while you sat across from him in Yunho's lap. Your arms draped around his neck, your nose nuzzled against his cheek as he smiled so fondly at you. Two love birds completely oblivious of the world outside of their small lovey dovey bubble.

The rest of the group were used to the public display of affection and everyone was eating, drinking and chatting away, paying no mind to the gut stirring array of love… No one paid attention to the both of you except Jongho for whom the conversations around him felt like a distant whisper. Because he could only hear the screeching sound of his heart breaking. Pieces being broken up into tiny fragments, fragments grounded into dust until the wounded organ was unrecognizable even for its owner.

Jongho balled his fists under the table over both his knees, his nails dug into his palm but the muted pain was incomparable to the gaping agony he felt in his chest, threatening to swallow him whole. 

And nobody even picked up on it. Nobody knew about his anguish and he couldn't share his burden with anyone. He was the bad guy; fucking his best friend's girlfriend behind his back. Yunho was the main character and he was just the villain that everyone wanted to see defeated at the end of the movie. Nobody routed for him. Maybe not even himself. Somewhere deep inside he believed he didn't deserve sympathy.

This thought was unbearable and in a weird reflex Jongho shot up his chair, maybe in an attempt to distract his mind from the blackhole that was taking over in his chest. All eight heads whipped in his direction, confused faces looking back at him, searching for some kind of insight on the unexpected and sudden gesture.

"Something's wrong?" Yunho was the first one to ask.

Shut the fuck up.

That was what Jongho wanted to say but he bit the inside of his cheek to keep the heinous words behind his teeth. He hated that Yunho was such a good friend and he was the bad one. He hated him. He hated himself.

His eyes fluttered to you looking back at him just as confused as the other one.

But why couldn't he hate you?

Was this an act, were you that much of a good actress or didn't you really understand what was going on in his mind ? Were you oblivious to the feelings he developed for you? Either way it did nothing to soothe Jongho's chaotic mind.

"Jongho?" Seonghwa spoke up. And the older's reassuring voice brought Jongho back.

"Yes... I'm just kinda dizzy" he started, rubbing circles on his temples. "I think I should go for the night. I-I need to rest." and he stormed off to his room, escaping the confused and concerned gazes but also and primarily the source of his misery, you.

Silence fell over the once joyous table of friends as Jongho disappeared in the hall.

"You should go talk to him" Hongjoong interjected. All eyes followed his own, all turning to you.

"Me?"

"Yeah you guys are really close" San said, shrugging right beside you. You nearly choked on air at the remark while everybody nodded their heads in approval. Stress started to bubble in your guts as you cracked an awkward smile.

"Come on babe he obviously needs you" Yunho encouraged you, big large palms gently pushing you up, encouraging you to get off his lap.

What were you supposed to do? You had to go not to raise suspicion. You dragged your feet made heavy with the weight of guilt to the hall. Heart swelling with remorse as your unsuspecting and caring boyfriend gave you an approbating nod.

"Take good care of our maknae" you heard Mingi shout as you closed back the door.

Somehow the hall felt chilly, and you didn't even bother turning on the light as you velvet threaded to Jongho's room. You walked that path at night a thousand times before.

You knocked on the door but didn't wait for an answer before pushing the door and inviting yourself in. It almost felt weird to not lock the door behind you. Because this time your visit had a different purpose and somehow it felt even more immoral than usual. Maybe because this time Yunho himself sent you here. Right in the wolf's dent.

Jongho was sitting at his desk, his back facing you while he was browsing on his computer. You didn't need to see his face to know he wasn't well. It was written all over the walls, it was in the heavy air, soaked with humid tension.

"Jongho are you okay?" you asked, genuinely concerned. Jongho was first your friend.

The soft and caring tone drove a dagger through his heart. He couldn't handle lying to himself and to you right now. He couldn't handle being close to you right now.

"Yeah I'm okay I think I'm just getting sick maybe" he answered back, perfectly mastering the unwavering and monocorde tone. Being careful to not let his body language betray him.

You bit your lips. You knew it was a lie but part of you wanted to accept his response and turn on your heels. Part of you didn't want to deal with what you had created. But it was your responsibility and you owed at least that much to Jongho.

"You look like you were...jealous" the heavy word seemed to fall from your lips on to crash at your feet in an impossible blare making your ears ring and your heart pound.

Silence fell again. And the brief moment seemed to have transformed into a century.

Then Jongho spinned in his chair to face you finally. You didn't have time to scan his face before he spoke.

"Break up with him"

Jongho looks up at you, eyebrows furrowed, lips pinched into a pained pout. Merely looking at him breaks your heart and you can't help guilt sneak up on you again, crawling under your skin, making you squirm in discomfort.

You opened your mouth to speak but Jongho seemed like he picked up on the excuse you were about to mindlessly throw his way to get out of this situation and he interrupted you. He stood and walked to you to face you. So he could see you, so there would be no doubt left, no space for interpretation between your two bodies.

"Say you want me and I'm yours"

This was Jongho's last chance. He was putting everything on the line, presenting his damaged heart to you. It was in your hands and your hands alone. Offering you the wounded and pathetic organ. Yet it was everything he had left. 

It was up to you to either pick up the broken pieces and nurture them back into a beating and loving heart or stomp over it one last time and finally put him out of his misery. Squishing the last drops of blood out of the atrophied muscle until it laid there immobile and cold.

You didn't know what to say. Nothing you could say could ever make it right. Not even if you had an eternity to think about the words you were going to use. An eternity to weigh in every little variation in the semantics, every single nuance of the chosen terminology. Nothing could fix the damage you had done.

But you didn't have an eternity. You only had a few seconds and you used them all up being sorry and silent.

Stomping it was then…

And just like that Jongho had his answer.

Your heart crinkled into a small ball when you saw him hang his head in defeat.

You couldn't offer a comforting word but you could still offer a comforting touch. You lifted your hand to the crown of his head hoping to maybe gently pat it. Like you have done a thousand times. Usually, that always made him smile. But you didn't have time to reach him. He caught your wrist in a strong grip. You hissed at the sudden pain. With a quick jerk of your arm he pulled you into his chest.

"Since you didn't come to speak maybe you came to fuck?" his voice was as cold as ever. A tone you never heard from him even in the deepest and darkest of nights when you were to see a version of him that nobody knew. This time the coldness was unmatched. The biting tone didn't come from pent up lust. It came from anger.

And you hated yourself for the way your body reacted to it. Reacted to his low voice, to his strong grip, to the burning eyes. To him. Nobody could talk to your body, to your primal instincts like Jongho.

"Jongho" you whimpered in a mere whisper. Trying to conceal the bubbling arousal in your gut by pushing your thighs together.

Jongho crashed his lips on yours to silence you. Without giving you a choice he pulled you into the sinful act. Drowning you into his embrace, dragging you into the abyss along with him. You felt his hand creep up on the side of your face before his thumb pried your jaw open, tongue lapping at your own as his other hand slipped from your wrist up your forearm to your nape. Bending your neck right into position, making your face look up so he could explore you deeper and gouge out every single one of your secrets.

You lost track of time and space as he made you drunk on his minty taste and strong musky cedar wood cologne. You moaned into his mouth while his warm palm was pushing you deeper into him.

"Touch me" he commanded and you immediately lifted a febrile hand to his groin. You gasped when your fingertips grazed the hard member. Somehow, even after a thousand times, you still managed to be suprised by the girth and length of it. But above all it was incredibly hard. Harder than it ever was with just a simple kiss.

You started to palm him through his black trousers which he responded with a hum of satisfaction. Catching your bottom lip between his teeth and pulling on it until it snapped back against your teeth.

"On your knees. Now"

You dropped to the floor before you could even think about it. Your mind being completely bent to Jongho's desire. His hand left your nape to untangle with your hair and you felt goosebumps rise from your heated skin as the cold air hit your neck.

"Help me with this, whore"

The term of endearment made your guts gush with arousal. Your feeble hands unbuckled his belt, the cold metal contrasting with your hot skin. You unzipped his trousers and hurriedly pulled them down along with his underwear. The lively length sprung in front of your face, making your eyes round up in need and your mouth water with anticipation.

"What are you waiting for?" Jongho spat your way, the unwavering biting tone making you flinch and bite your lip. "Do what you came for. Do what you do best" He growled as he pulled you by the hair, bringing your trembling lips right to his tip, precum forcing its way on your tongue making you yearn for more of his alluring taste.

You let your mouth be guided on his length, opening your wet hole and letting Jongho control you like a puppet until the tip of your tongue reached his balls and your nose his pubic bone. He stayed just like that for a few seconds as your eyes prickled with tears. His girthy member occupying your mouth as it was his birthright. Making a home out of the narrow and wet cavern.

Jongho grunted as he slowly pulled your head back. Thick strings of spit still linking your swollen lips to the angry twitching member.

"That's all you're good for, right?" he moaned as you nodded your head. Jongho couldn't tell if you were just bobbing your head on his length or if you were answering him but he didn't care. He was done listening to you.

"That’s right take my cock" he grunted, pushing his hips forward as your knees scraped on the wooden floor. "You think he knows?" Jongho smirked when he picked up on the small soubresaut of your body.

"You think that's what he had in mind when he sent you to comfort me?"

Your guts slushed around swimming in the guilt you were desperately trying to forget.

"You think he thought it meant for you to let me fuck your throat like that, huh?" He gave you one powerful thrust. 

Jongho grew angrier as he took your head in both of his hands, strong grasp keeping you in place as he smashed himself inside, his length stretching your throat to breaking point. The burn made your head dizzy as you struggled for air and big tears trailed down your burning cheeks.

"I'll have to say thank you to hyung. Sending over his precious girl for me to use like this." He then popped his length out your mouth while you were already missing him brushing the back of your throat. With one coercive pull he brought you back up on your feet.

"Strip" he commanded while maintaining the grip around your hair. You awkwardly struggled to open your blouse letting it float to your sides and wiggle out of your pants. Without thinking Jongho tore away your bra and panties off your bodies as you whimpered in shock, leaving you exposed to his gaze.

He harshly cupped your breast squeezing the lumps of flesh as you mewled under his touch. Briefly pulling on your hardened nipple before flipping you and pushing you against the door. Your upper half pressed against the cold wood while your ass hung up in the air. Jongho tapped on your feet with his heels and you immediately spread your legs.

"Good little whore. Ass up" he commanded and you perched yourself on your tippy toes.

Jongho took the base of his length and hissed when his tip made contact with your heat.

"Jongho" you whined. "Do you have a condom?" you asked, wiggling your ass up in the air only to be hit by a large palm clashing against the thin skin of your unclothed bottom. You whimpered at the burning sting biting your lip to refrain to ask for another one.

"Shut up. Sows like you are fucked raw"

Your breath hitched in your throat to the thought of Jongho's length digging deep inside you raw, taking over like it was its righteous place. A privilege once only reserved to your beloved boyfriend.

He ribbed small circles on your clit as you arched your back. You couldn't believe how sensitive you had become without being touched.

"Isn't that what you wanted, little slut?" he asked, bending over you his warm clothed body warming your back. You nodded as you squirmed again, yearning for the relieving friction.

The daring gesture only earned you another harsh slap.

"Speak whore"

"Y-yes. Please please Jongho please"

You were pathetic barely making any sense, your mind barely able to form coherent words. Fucked out before it even started.

You could have died from pure bliss when Jongho finally slid inside you. He parted you so deliciously, with every inch that he shoved inside you you were becoming more and more breathless. Catching your bottom lips between your teeth hissing all the way until he bottomed out.

"Ahhh Jongho please. Fuck me. Please please" you begged without restrain shame not even crossing your mind.

And Jongho didn't ask for more. Immediately he aimed for the stars and threw his hips into yours making the squelching wet sounds of your dripping pussy bounce off the walls of the small dimlitted room.

The angle, the rhythm, the depth. Everything was perfect. He was fucking you exactly like you needed to be. Each stroke bringing you closer to completion, each thrust turning your mind into an amalgame of lustful and unholy thoughts until you were ready to give out.

Knock knock knock

"Are you ok in there?"

It was Yunho.

You both freezed for a second. But you were the first one to catch up.

"Yeah don't worry baby. I think Jongho feels better now." You stated in the most neutral and steady voice you could manage, glancing over at Jongho over your shoulder.

"Yeah hyung. Don't worry I'll be fine"

Your heart was pounding in your chest and resonating in your ears. As your feet barely held you anymore, your pussy pulsing around Jongho's large cock. So close to completion that you might just cum from imagining your boyfriend standing right outside unsuspecting of how good his friend was fucking you.

"Okay don't take too long you two" Yunho said before you heard his footsteps fade away in the hall.

You both took a deep breath but before you could think again Jongho was back smashing himself into you this time with even more force.

"Does he fuck you like this?" he growled. The sinful sounds of skin clashing against skin.

"Noooo nobody can fuck me like you do Jongho" you whined as you felt your center growing tighter and tighter. He spanked you again, making you jerk on his length.

"Say how much bigger my cock is"

"You have the biggest and the best fucking cock Jongho please don't stop."

Jongho grunted and you felt him twitch inside you. You both approaching your high, flirting with the edge.

"Say it again"

"I love your cock. I want only your cock. Yunho can never fuck me like you do." you whined as your legs began to shake, threatening to give out at any second.

"Fuck baby." Jongho panted. "Fuckkkk y/n" his thrusts started to become sloppy, the rhythm falling short, strokes becoming more and more shallow.

"Jongho I'm cumming" you announced as you finally grasped your climax, the wave of pleasure crushing your body into a million of incandescent pieces, taking over your mind you couldn't think of anything other than him, getting drunk off his moans and grunts as he perfectly smashed against your sweet spot, cutting your breath and making big tears of bliss roll on your cheeks.

"Fuck y/n. I love you" he let the words roll off his tongue as he finally came undone. 'I love you. I love you. I love you" he kept on chanting, painting your unguarded walls a brand new shade of white. Thick ropes of burning cum making you quiver around him, milking him to the last drop until his groans died down in hushed short breaths, beads of sweat running down his temples and pearling on his lip.

When he slipped out of you guilt crept under your skin again while you looked back at the younger man through your lashes.

You wanted to say those words back to him. But there was only one man you loved.

a/n: this one was a angsty one. i hope you enjoyed it. if you did please tell me in the comments or drop by my asks. i love your feedback guys <3

[ficthots]

Bonded: Chapter Six

A/N: Hello everyone! My absence has ended and I am back writing once more. I've missed you all and I hope this makes up for it. Please remember, this is a hobby and sometimes life overtakes hobby time. Luckily, things have seemed to even out for the time being. As always, enjoy and let me know what you think!

Word count: 5.2k+

Chapter Five

Weather holds more power than most people will ever realize. A planet’s atmosphere has wondrous effects on the life below which is why with each planet you travel to, you will experience a climate you never have before. It was one of the first things you noticed on this galaxy trek.

How one day you can look up and see the crystal skies beaming back down at you, offering immaculate views of the horizon far off in the distance. Yet, landing on another planet just the following cycle, storms wreak havoc over the innocent civilians down below unleashing a fury that blows eyes wide open in surprise and fear.

Demolishing anything that stands in its way, altering life as you knew it right before your very eyes. Watching as lives are ruined, some spared, others continue as before with little to no change.

Packing for such weather was difficult to do. Hence why nearly your entire wardrobe had been brought with you on this trip. As your cruiser descended on a tiny spec in the sector, the humidity pummeled you immediately. The condensation formed on the windows as a repulsive greeting and then dripped downwards towards the forever soggy ground.

A small sigh escaped your mouth as you knew how uncomfortable this short day was about to become. This wasn’t even a planet on your list. A courtesy stop if you will. An unplanned detour that you knew would only last the afternoon and early evening before continuing on with your actual planned route.

“I can only imagine what sort of creatures thrive in this type of environment,�� Calista murmured with her nose almost pressed flush to the glass. Briefly looking up from your notepad you watched as Tamsyn began preparing for landing.

Only humming in response, there wasn’t much enthusiasm in your reply. You were exhausted. Having been traveling for nearly two entire months, your journey was finally nearing the end. Another week and you would be back home.

Home.

It was odd to think of the ship in that way, but that was what it was. Home. A sense of longing to go back to it, sleep in your bed, see Kylo. You couldn’t believe that you missed him.

Your eyes drifted to the string on your wrist. A gift before your original departure. A safety measure. A token of thought. That you were occupying his thoughts just as much as he was yours. As your thoughts descend into him, the rough landing of the ship jolted you out of your little world.

Tucking the bracelet under your thin gauzy sleeve, you stood as the ships door opened, allowing you to step into the jungle terrain. This was their opportunity to sell themselves to the Order. Explain how they could be of use. With what you could see, it wasn’t much.

Yet as you walked down towards the small gathered crowd to greet you, they were all beaming with enthusiasm to see you, the Empress, actually here visiting. Tamsyn and Calista were hot on your heels, your personal guard so close the armor he adorned nearly pressed into your side.

A precaution courtesy of Kylo and General Waylan. One you didn’t believe was necessary, but your own thoughts fell onto deaf ears. You weren’t even offered his name. No indication about who he really was.

He was just…there. All of the time. A shadow stapled to your own. When you moved, so did he. He was in charge of all the safety measures in regards to this trip. And he was certainly displeased to discover you made a decision to stop on this desolate crater without informing him earlier.

The leader stepped forward enthusiastically, his robes trailing on the moss ridden steps he descended to reach you. “Empress, we are beyond honored to welcome you here. Thank you for taking the time to join us.” As your eyes settled on the thin man, you nearly fell backwards. The striking resemblance had you hesitating to utter your own greeting.

An immediate cold sweat erupted over your body. The man looked eerily similar to the one who had lost his head at the gala. The gruesome memory flashed in your mind as you watched the lifeless eyes stare at you. Courtesy of your husband, but almost as fast as it hit you, the feeling faded. Almost as if he disguised himself when he saw your discomfort with his appearance. Those fully black eyes now had irises, the color still coal, but some ivory peeked out.

Perhaps your mind was playing tricks on you, you thought to yourself.

As he spoke, he clasped your hand within his own and brought it to his grayed forehead. There was something different about them as you took in the odd faces of the civilians. All looked different than each other, but it was as if they weren’t entirely real. A mask over their true selves. You weren’t entirely sure. But your guard was immediately up.

For being in such a bright and warm environment you couldn’t help but fight the chill that shot up your spine from the ice cold grasp he had. Their eyes almost one solid color, bordering on black, but not quite fully gone. They all appeared grey, no hint of color anywhere on their forms. The palace behind them appeared desolate.

The stark green vines enclosed around the sandstone brick that was almost completely gone beneath the never ending greenery. The varying creatures and animals chirped through the forest, cocooning the group in a symphony of songs. Not one of comfort, but one of warning.

A warning you ignored to heed.

Your hackles were raised without so much as a second thought. “It is our pleasure, Monton. I hope you don’t mind the short visit. We don’t have much time together, but I am looking forward to getting to know you and your people more intimately.” His smile stretched across his taut skin, making him appear less human as he did. Your pleasantries second nature to you despite the overwhelming sense of dread filling each of your senses.

A few hours was all you needed to muster through. Then back to the scheduled trip. You echoed that lifeline in your mind over and over to keep your nerves rested.

Stepping to the side, he gestured towards the ancient building. “Shall we?” Nodding in reply, you turned toward your guard. “We won’t be long, if we need assistance I will call.” His helmeted head only bowed before turning on his heel and ascending the stairs back aboard the ship.

You prayed you wouldn’t need his assistance. A few hours.

Tamsyn and Calista trailed behind you, not interested in any of the information this man was offering. Yet, they did not seem the least bit put off by their odd appearances or behaviors. It ran through your mind that you were being overly cautious. His similarities to the man from the gala had knocked you off your game, but no one seemed to pay that any mind.

You were hardly listening either. The entire time he spoke your thoughts were occupied with what rubbed into your wrist. The bracelet so delicately clasped around your skin felt as though it was burning an indentation, leaving its permanent trace behind in its remembrance.

“Your presence has been requested by the Supreme Leader, Empress.” You were sat in your living quarter, the final details of your galaxy journey had been finalized that afternoon and you were beyond spent. Pulling yourself up from the comfortable cushion, you followed the Order official to wherever they were leading you.

When you arrived at a section of the ship you didn’t recognize, you spoke. “Where is the Supreme Leader?” He stopped walking as he approached to extremely large doors that were monitored by three different entry systems. “Supreme Leader Ren's quarters, Empress.” He turned towards you with a subtle bow before turning and leaving you standing alone in the darkened corner.

You could recall the doors from your private tour with Kylo, but you had been brought an entirely different way and didn’t recognize where you were.

Not sure what you were supposed to do, you walked towards the different identification panels and attempted to solve how to enter. You weren’t entirely certain how long you were stood there, but when the door receded into the walls with a loud whoosh accompanying, you jumped up.

There he stood, helmet removed, gaze immediately pinned to you. “What are you doing?” He spoke, not a crack of emotion on his face, voice the standard deep monotone you were accustomed to. “Um, they said you requested me. I couldn’t figure out the door,” you nervously responded.

A slight tilt to the corner of his mouth was all you received as he returned inside. “Come with me.” You followed a few steps behind him. Eyes darting around to the new sights, the smell of him wafting over you entirely. It was incredibly neat, like no one had ever resided there.

The dark furniture was exactly what you expected. Everything drenched in reds and blacks, his signature colors of course. Almost cliche, you giggled to yourself. The sound alerted him, causing him to turn and face you to see what had you laughing. “What?”

Only shrugging you were still smiling. “Nothing. Just that your quarters are exactly what I expected. The blacks and reds, you know?” Your fit of giggles continued as he eyed you, eyes narrowing in your direction, a slight tilt to his head. Faded remnants of a smile graces his plush lips for only a mere second.

His head dropped, a small box sitting on the corner of a table. “Come here.” You immediately followed his orders, walking towards him and closing the distance. Knowing better than to try and battle him, you were nearly flush against him.

Grasping your wrist with his bare hand, electricity jolted through you. You despised when that would happen. Unable to hide the effect his simple touch had on you. This had been happening more and more. The more time you two spent together, which was occurring much more frequently, it only riled you up more.

His touch was incredibly delicate, the long and nimble fingers worked quickly and effortlessly. It was gone as fast as it had appeared. A slight twinge of sadness nestled in your stomach at the loss of contact. Your eyes never left the new addition on your arm.

It was simple, just a black string with a fabric you were not sure of, a small gemstone sitting squarely in the middle. A glow cast out around the unidentified stone, sitting on your skin. Eyes finally peeling away, you cast your gaze upwards to see his features already studying your own.

He never faltered despite the close quarters you two were currently in. “Specially made by request of myself.” Your brow furrowed in question, looking back down at it. “It’s a beautiful bracelet, Kylo. Thank you.” Offering a genuine smile, you felt warm.

Kylo had specifically gotten something made for you. Gifted to you by Kylo himself. You couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit more…special. That he was going out of his way to please you, bring a small sense of joy. Even if it was a stretch to anything more than him trying to appease you.

“This is for…my piece of mind while you’re gone, dove. If you are in danger, I can only use the Force to communicate with you when I feel the need to. I cannot always sense if something is wrong. I’m still attempting to sort out what this bond means and how to use it. For now, this will do.” His hand cupped your wrist once more, his thumb hovering over the gem.

Clearing his throat he continued. “You press this gem down and to the right. It will immediately track your location and notify me that you are not well. Promise me you’ll wear this the entire time you’re gone, dove?” The gentle tone in his voice had butterflies erupting in your stomach as he spoke so plainly with you.

A knot formed in your throat, but you nodded eagerly. “Of course. Thank you for this. So, just down,” he nodded, his hair lightly falling forward at his motion. “Down and to the right.” You smiled at the demonstration and peered back up at him.

Holding eye contact for the following few seconds was the most intense interaction you two had yet. Peering into one another, it was almost like you were able to communicate with him through look alone. A silent heartfelt thank you for caring about my safety. A glimmer of an unknown emotion first registered in his eyes, then his entire face, before fading.

Admiration? Joy? Something you didn’t quite know how to label because, well, it was Kylo. He only ever showed two emotions. Rage and annoyance. Nothing more, nothing less. A side to him that no one else ever got to see. Reserved solely for you. In these private moments.

Pride bubbled in you at the knowledge that no one else in the entire galaxy saw Kylo in states like this. His hardened facade broken. Not without great effort on your end. In fact, it had been painstaking work for months on end.

After Kylo request to attempt a new beginning with you, you decided to agree to his offer. Whatever that meant for him. After the first couple of days and no changes, no sightings of him, you reached out.

An invitation to accompany you at dinner that evening in your quarters. No response had been given and you were quickly losing hope that anything was going to change, an empty guarantee from him. Then, just as the table had finished being set and you were notified that dinner would be served as soon as you were ready, he entered your quarters.

Not able to fight against the smile that took shape on your face, Kylo looked extremely awkward. Unsure what he was supposed to be doing. Yet, attempting to make the effort. Even though it was almost pitiful to see his obvious discomfort.

Deciding to take the lead for the night, you welcomed him in. You weren’t quite sure of yourself enough to try anything physical like a hug, but you lead him into the dining room. Sitting at opposite ends of the table, you mainly ate in silence.

But he was there and that was a victory all in itself.

You didn’t ask him back the following evening, but he came back anyways. And nearly every night since then. Unless he was gone on a mission, it was almost a grantee that Kylo would be at your dining room table, enjoying a dinner with you.

As these meals happened more frequently so did the conversation. At first, extremely basic and generic, testing the waters to see how well you two could communicate. It didn’t take much time for you to warm up to him enough that you were constantly sharing stories of your childhood, upbringing as a royal, funny experiences you had since joining the Order as their Empress.

Kylo pitched in with conversation despite choosing to let you fill the void of his lack of words a majority of the time. Even cracking smiles, his eyes and features more life like and softened with happiness. You know you had made great progress when you got a laugh out of him for the very first time.

It had been like striking gold. A melody of tone you had never heard and weren’t sure you would ever again. Such a beautiful sound you never wanted to forget it, never wanted it to end.

The following night he had arrived at your quarters for dinner, you eyed the table set up. Grabbing your plates and utensils, you ushered yourself down to his end of the table, sitting on his left side just like at the meeting tables. His eyes watched your movements daringly, unsure of what exactly you were doing.

But when you seated yourself and gave him a large smile, he felt an almost sense of…relief. Having you choose to be so close to him. Something no one had ever done. Dinner carried on like nothing had changed.

The new behaviors of the infamous Kylo Ren had started to bleed out into other aspects of your relationship as well, including professional. One afternoon, you two walked the corridors of the ship together, chatting about your upcoming travel plans, when his hand landed on your hip, pulling you away from a wall of storm troopers rounding the same corner. His hand firmly pulled you into his side, his helmeted demeanor seething at the group. “Watch your movements.”

Instant apologies to Kylo and you were spoken. Your heart rate never went back to normal after that. At one supper, Kylo had asked you if you had ever flown a ship. He was instantly taken aback at your response of no. “When I return from this mission I will be teaching you how to pilot a ship.” You were giddy for his return, counting down the cycles until we was due back home. Unable to contain your excitement when Kylo had entered your quarters for dinner, you crossed the room and embraced him. A warm smile greeted him in accompaniment despite his entire body stiffening the way it did.

It didn’t phase you in the least. Speaking about how you had missed his presence at dinner. His cheeks warmed to a pink hue at the terms of endearment. He spoke, clearing the waver in his voice as he did. “I’m taking you flying tomorrow.”

The following day had been the best you two had ever spent together. That morning, Kylo appeared at your door and you followed him. What was supposed to be just a flying lesson turned into an entire formal tour of his section of the ship. He showed you where his training facilities were, where the Knights of Ren were located, the entry to his residence. You didn’t enter, but at least you now knew where he was located at.

The tour wrapped at the massive bay of ships in the hanger. You were nearly jumping for joy when you knew what was next. Wandering eyes monitored the two of you as Kylo led you towards the ships. A duo that was unanticipated. The Kylo Ren watching as the Empress of the First Order looked like an excited school girl.

You truly didn’t care. As you approached one of the ships on the fleet, you turned and beamed at Kylo. “This one, right?” He shook his head, motioning for you to follow him. Stopping in your tracks, your jaw hung ajar.

“You’re going to let me fly your ship?” The smirk that danced across his mouth had your heart doing somersaults. A squeal escaped your lips, rushing towards the tall man and crushing him to you in a hug. Your arms wrapped around his neck, feeling the soft locks of his raven black hair tickle you, your cheek pressed against his neck. It ended as quickly as it had happened. You didn’t look at his reaction before quickly climbing aboard the Supreme Leaders personal ship.

With only one seat in the cockpit, you weren’t sure how this was going to work for you to learn. Kylo followed you in and within a minute was situated in the pilots seat securely. Standing off to the side, you were about to ask where you were supposed to sit when his arm wrapped around your waist.

Grabbing you from behind, he dragged you effortlessly to his lap. You were in a fit of giggles at the fast motion. Adjusting yourself to sit comfortably for however long you two were about to fly, you were ecstatic to get on with your lesson.

Both of Kylo's arms came from the sides, caging you in as he grasped the controls and swiftly left the hangar. Despite thinking you were going to be taking up too much of his space and view, he flew the ship like it was nothing.

He was silent behind you despite your constant chatter and observations of the planets that flew by. As you two settled on a desolate planet, you were ready to begin. His warm breath fanned across your cheek and neck as he spoke, goosebumps erupting over your entire body.

Fighting the chill that shot up your spine, the slight tremble in your hands you were able to play off. “I’m nervous,” you chuckled, rubbing your hands across your pants. “It’s simple. Here,” he lifted your hands to grab the controls, his sitting over your own.

Given the nature of his sheer size in comparison to your own, you could hardly see your own flesh beneath his own. “Alright dove, you always want to make sure that these lights are on,” Kylo fell into his detailed explanation of the control panel and what each thing meant.

You weren’t sure you could place the exact moment he called you dove for the first time, the term of endearment awarded to you by friends and family, but it was almost second nature to him now. Mainly using it instead of your name or your titles.

It sounded different coming from him. Felt different. Like you only wanted him to use it. Holding a different meaning than everyone elses uses. You adored it. Waited for it to fall from his lips with baited breath each time. Knocking the wind out of you with each muttered dove.

It was safe to say that the flying lesson had not gone well. Apparently it was more of a natural talent activity than you realized. After nearly driving it straight into the ground, you erupted in laughter.

Kylo held onto the controls as you lost control of your laughter. He chuckled smally to himself. “Alright, we’re done for today. I don’t need you destroying the best ship in the fleet.” As your chuckles faded, still seated firmly in his lap, you smiled widely at him.

“Thank you for today. It was a lot of fun,” without so much as a second thought, you leaned in, hand cupping his jaw and turning his head towards you. It nearly happened in slow motion, that first kiss. Feeling the soft, tender flesh of his lips meld to your own. The shock waves that exploded over your body was unlike anything you had ever experienced. You never wanted to stop. But you did and when you pulled back and opened your eyes, you watched as his grip tightened on the controls, you smiled to yourself.

He cleared his throat, refusing to look at you. “You’re welcome.” Kylo left the next day for a mission that he desperately needed. Some space from you so he could catch his breath, readjust his bearings, figure out what was happening between you two. Why he wanted to be sitting at a dining room table with you instead of making progress that he needed to make.

Why he was dreading your trip. That he wouldn’t be near you for so long, unable to do anything to protect you while you were so far. He had his own copy of your schedule, but that wasn’t enough.

Instead, he assigned one of the highest regarded troopers to be your personal guard through the duration of the trip. One he knew you wouldn’t accept unless it came from someone other than himself. Waylan quickly agreed and you accepted with little word otherwise.

Perhaps he was slightly obsessed. Which is why he constructed the bracelet on his own. Something that would allow him direct access to you should you need him. Not that he wanted to bother you, but he still didn’t know the limit of the bond you two shared. Wanting nothing more than your protection covered while away from him.

Seeing your reaction to it as he placed it on you was a relief. Seeing that you seemed more sure of yourself wearing it. Knowing that you could contact Kylo as quickly as possible. A slight weight off your shoulders.

If only you knew what was in store for you.

The tour had dragged for so long and was so dull, you had sent Tamsyn back to the ship to prepare for your departure. The stories shared with you were sending alarm bells tolling your head. Far too similar to the mans from the gala to be purely coincidental. You knew at that moment why they had wanted you to come here.

When you had returned back to the palace you began to take note of some alarming things. Guards blocking each doorway and nearly every window, being led further and further through the maze of doorways and twisting hallways, the men that were directly behind you and Calista were seemingly moving closer and closer.

You knew something was seriously wrong when you entered what appeared to be a drawing room with no furniture present in it. Offering as polite of a smile and interruption you could, you spoke. “Would you mind allowing myself and my lady speak privately for a moment?”

The king nodded, ushering his men out with him, one last eye locking glance in your direction before shutting a door. You wasted no time, whipping around to face her, fumbling to unclasp the bracelet.

“I need you to listen to me very carefully, Calista. I need you to remember every thing I’m about to tell you.” She looked bewildered as you began to speak quickly. “You are going to leave this room as soon as I am done talking,” as the bracelet fell off, you cupped it. “You are going to board the transport and tell the pilot to not, I repeat, not go to the next destination.”

Calista had no idea what was happening. “What are you talking-” you cut her off. “Calista, please we don’t have a lot of time. They are going to be back any minute. These are the same people from the gala just with some sort of disguise on. They are going to attempt to track the transport which is why you are not to go to the next destination.” Her eyes quickly began welling with tears.

Stuffing the bracelet into her palm, you forcibly closed her hand around it. “You are going to get as far away from here as possible. An unknown world or moon or something, okay? As soon as you get there the Order will have already been notified that we have not arrived at our scheduled destination.”

She sighed, going to speak. “But Kylo-” You shook your head. “They won’t tell Kylo because they know he will not be happy and they will want to solve it themselves. When you get to wherever you go, you will activate this.” Calista opened her hand to look at it.

“Push down and twist to the right. It will immediately send a signal to Kylo with your exact location. He will get there very fast and when he does, he will be furious. Kylo will read your mind after you tell him about the events that have happened. You must tell him this was my plan, do you understand?”

She sniffled as you continued on. “I’ll be fine. I want you all to get to safety.” Calista pulled you into an embrace, whispering in your ear as she did. “I’ll-I’ll tell him everything,” you offered a relaxed smile to try and qualm her nerves. “Kylo will find me. Now, go. You need to go.” Pushing her towards the doors, she glanced once more at you before rushing away.

A shaky exhale escaped your lips, fear pummeling you at what was about to happen. The leader returned mere seconds later, a large inhuman smile on his features. “Ah, where did the beautiful Calista go?”

Smiling politely you spoke. “To ready the ship for us. I want to thank you for your generosity and enthusiasm today, but we do have a schedule to keep to.” As you took a step back, the leader and his men made one towards you.

“So soon, Empress? We were hoping to enjoy supper and share more tales of our people. Our traditions.” Sweat dripped down the back of your neck. “Unfortunately, it was a fast trip. Perhaps next time we can extend it.”

His smile fell immediately. All warmth snapped from him in an instant. “No. I think you don’t understand.” In the blink of an eye, both of your arms were restrained by the guards he had brought back with him.

The king crossed the room leisurely. “You need to let me go. You know they will look for me.” He smirked as he approached you. Twirling a strand of your hair around his straggly finger, he inhaled deeply. “No, I don’t think they will, Empress. None of you will be leaving here today.”

As soon as he finished, the roar of the transports engines flooded the palace. Barking out an order in an unfamiliar tongue, you let a devilish smirk cross your face. A snarl emulated from him as he whipped his hand back before making contact with your cheek, drawing a surprised gasp.

It was just the start.

Nearly two full days later, their transport ship collided with the rocky terrain of whatever desolate planet they had found. Calista activated the gem as soon as they landed and just as you had said, Kylo ship touched down not long after.

The burnt landscape around them displayed his anger that he had unleashed with his saber upon discovering you hadn’t gone with them. Almost the entire area around them had been decimated.

What you didn’t realize was that Kylo had been unable to connect with you. Despite all of his efforts, the moment he had been notified of your missing status, he couldn’t find you. Connect with you. Speak with you.

Perhaps too far from him. Given you weren’t Force sensitive, this was uncharted territory. One he didn’t realize had a location cap. When you had sent him the ping of your location, it was lie salvation had washed over him.

Upon discovering you were not onboard that ship and had sent them off without you, it only ignited his rage. Far beyond the point of anger, he couldn’t believe you had put yourself in this situation. One he didn’t know how to solve. Fix. Get you back to him where you would be safe and protected.

Kylo's robes whipped around him as he turned and stalked towards the group who had watched the entire scene unfold before them. “Notify all of the Order that my Empress has been taken and is missing.”

He climbed back into his ship, beginning the search for you. His Empress. His dove.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

After reading your last tony one shot, it's impossible not to ask you for another part with the reader getting pregnant again, please? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Welcome home, little one

PAIRING | Husband!Young!Tony Stark x Wife!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 5K

SUMMARY | Both you and Tony are ready to add another baby to your family, though getting to that point doesn't seem as easy as the two of you had hoped. A difficult pregnancy and even worse labor and delivery have you doubting everything, but when you're holding your new baby in your arms, you know it's been worth every second of pain and hardships; you'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Smut ( praise kink, breeding kink, dirty talk, nipple play, fingering, oral (f receiving), slight spit play, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), implied aftercare), angst ( difficulties with getting pregnant, complete emotional/ mental breakdown, extreme morning sickness, Reader accidentally wets herself, unplanned pregnancy, difficult labor, extreme loss of blood, emergency c-section ).

A/N | Thank you so much for your request, sweet Nonnie! I absolutely adore these two together and their little family, too! This fic took a turn I had not anticipated before starting this, but I hope you enjoy the route I took with this regardless! Oh, and a small sidenote... I WISH HE WOULD LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY SINGLE DAY?! 🖤

Likes, comments, and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💚

Divider is by @silkholland | 18+ banner is made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist | AU Masterlist

Once a month, Orion and Hudson go to their grandparents' house for the weekend, so the two of you have the entire kingdom of your home for yourselves.

Howard and Maria adore the twins, and they're always excited to have a sleepover with grandma and grandpa, so you two make the best of every single weekend alone.

You and Tony spent most of the night making love to one another, and now you just woke up, cuddling into his arms, your legs tangled together, your head laying on his chest as you listened to his heartbeat.

''What would you think of having another baby?'' you say, seemingly grabbing the comment out of thin air, and Tony sits up straight within seconds, pushing you off in a not-so-elegant motion.

You land on the mattress with a huff, and you just lay there defeated; Tony quickly looks over at you to see if you're okay.

''Sorry, Sunshine, I wasn't sure I heard you correctly. Did you say you want to have another child?'' he says as he looks at you, and his hand moves to your cheek, rubbing it softly with his thumb.

''I did, yeah. The twins are growing too fast, and I'm ready to add another. I always dreamed of having a big family, after all,'' you say, and Tony can't help but feel his heart beat faster when you talk so lovingly about your kids and family.

''You guys are the absolute loves of my life, and I think one more little one would make life perfect,'' you say with a big smile, sighing softly at the thought of having another baby.

''I think that would indeed be perfect,'' Tony whispers as he leans towards you, capturing your lips in the softest, sweetest kiss, moving his lips in sync with yours as you open them, giving him access to explore your mouth with his tongue.

He crawls over you after pulling away, letting his hips roll slowly over your mount and onto your stomach, shy of where you need him.

His arms are caging you in, his forehead pressed against yours as he looks deep into your eyes, breathing warm air over your lips with every roll of his hips, and it is at this moment you're very grateful you don't have two kids in the house to interrupt you.

''I'm going to take good care of you today, Sunshine. I'll make you fall apart over and over again until all you can think of is me. There won't be a single worry in your mind, not a single thought other than how good I will make you feel,'' he says between kisses that trail down your body.

When his mouth reaches your breasts, he takes his time to pay attention to each of your nipples while soft moans keep tumbling from your lips, and the wetness between your legs only grows.

His tongue licks circles around the peaked bud before lapping over it and sucking it into his mouth, making your back arch as his hand plays with the other one, rolling and squeezing your nipple and kneading your breast itself. You can feel that you're slipping into a fuzzy headspace.

His hips keep rolling against the mattress as he's making his way down, as he is very much in need of some friction, but he doesn't allow himself enough to get off on it, wanting to feel you squeeze around him later.

''T-Tony,'' you moan softly when he bites down softly on your nipple, and the groan leaving your body at the sting has him twitching, and precum drips from him at the sound.

''You're doing so good for me, Sunshine, being a perfect girl,'' Tony praises, and it makes you feel good, making you slip further into your favorite fuzzy headspace.

After giving both your nipples the same treatment, he trails his kisses down your stomach, his hands wander down your sides and underneath your ass, where he squeezes playfully before letting them wander onto your thighs, his trail of kisses going down your right thigh first, before taking the same path upwards over your left one.

When his mouth reaches your inner thighs, he spreads your legs apart, making enough room for him to fit perfectly as he drapes your legs over his shoulders, his teeth nibbling softly on the sensitive skin, earning him small whines as he bursts of pleasure shoot through you.

''Tony, please,'' you beg, not knowing what you're begging for now. All you know is that he makes you feel so good, and you only want more. More pleasure, more Tony, more everything.

''Hmm, it's so nice when you beg for me, Sunshine, but you don't even know what you're begging for, do you? Just begging for all I'm giving you and more, huh?'' Tony says as his hot breath glides over your folds, where you need him more than anywhere else.

You're too deep into the fuzziness to comprehend what he's saying entirely, and answering is next to impossible now, but he's still trying to get one out of you to tease a little bit.

''Have you already gone fuckdumb for me, Sunshine? Haven't touched you yet, and you already can't seem to think straight,' he says with a big smile, your back only arching as his lips ghost over your folds.

''Y-yes,'' you croak out, and his tongue licks a big stripe from your entrance to your clit while his hips slowly roll against the mattress so he won't go insane.

A loud gasp escapes your lips as his thumb pushes onto your clit and makes small but tight circles, and your hands are trying to find anything to hold onto, to ground yourself as you're overcome with a lot of pleasure.

''Good girl,'' Tony groans before replacing his thumb with his tongue, switching between licking, sucking, and nibbling your clit as he builds you up and up, waiting for the coil inside you to snap.

Your breath rapidly quickens as you get closer, and your back arches as he keeps licking and sucking, your hands finding their place in his hair as you tug on it, waiting for the pleasure to flow over.

''G-God, 'm cumming!'' you scream out, your back arching and your hips rolling against Tony's face as he licks you through your orgasm, his hips stopping their motions before he cums all over the sheets.

He grunts as you tug on his hair, and the vibrations only prolong your orgasm, but before this one is entirely over, his fingers find their way to your entrance, plunging them in with one smooth motion, and you let out a pornographic moan at the feeling.

''Fuck! M-more, please!'' you beg Tony, and he does, moving his fingers in and out in a steady motion, his mouth still attached to your clit before bending his fingers and sending you headfirst into your second orgasm.

Tears are streaming down your face from pleasure, overflowing as you're coming down from your high, aftershocks of your orgasm still wracking through you as your legs tremble, and you can't think straight anymore.

''Such a perfect girl for me, Sunshine. Fucking love it when you cum for me like that; you taste sweet as damn honey for me. Can never get enough of tasting you as you fall apart for me,'' Tony whispers in your ear as he's hovering over you again, his cock leaking beads of precum onto your stomach.

His lips find yours, and you let out a broken moan as you taste yourself on his lips. If you weren't ready to have another baby with this man before, you are now.

The two of you were wrapped up in a little make-out session until your hand wandered lower, wrapping itself around Tony's still-hard cock and slowly moving it up and down at a teasing pace.

''I still want you to put a baby in me, Love,'' you say as Tony trails his kisses down to your neck, grabbing your arms and twisting you around simultaneously so you're straddling him.

''If you want me so bad, why don't you ride me so deliciously? Ride me and squeeze my cock with that tight pussy until I fuck my cum deep inside you,'' he groans, and you lean forward, capturing his lips with yours this time.

Your hips roll against his cock, which is trapped between your dripping cunt and his stomach, and the squelching sound coming from you only makes you more turned on.

When you slide forward enough to stimulate his tip and his back arches, your hands find their way into his messy hair, pulling him impossibly closer as your tongues slide into his mouth, your hips not stopping what they're doing.

''S-Sunshine, need you to use me,'' Tony says because he goes feral when you use him as your fucktoy, doing everything you want to him for your pleasure.

He doesn't give up control in the bedroom often since he loves to take his time and make such sweet, perfect love to you for hours on end, but when he does this, he will always feel like he's on top of the world.

''Yeah? Are you going to be a good boy and let me use you however I please? Gonna let me fuck you until you're completely dry, and your cum is leaking out of my tight pussy?'' you ask, and Tony's eyes widen at your words, nodding rapidly.

''Alright, but only because you're being a perfect fucktoy for me right now,'' you say as you squeeze his cheeks with your fingers, and he opens his mouth before you spit into it and make him swallow it.

The moan leaving his chest lets you know just how good you make him feel right now, and with one more roll of your hips, you let him know you're feeling amazing as well. You lift your hips, impatient, and need him to fuck you right here and now.

You slowly sink when he's lined up with your entrance, his preparation helping immensely as you get used to his stretch inside your tight walls. Even after giving birth to two children, nature has gifted you a tight pussy, for which Tony is eternally grateful.

His sliding in has you moaning loudly, and Tony can't help but squeeze your hips as you adjust to his position because it always feels like you can feel him so much deeper like this.

''Fuck, 's like a vice, Sunshine,'' you say as you clench around his length, your head falling back as you start rolling your hips a little, enough to give you a bit of pleasure but not enough to get you both off yet.

''This dick feels so fucking good inside my pussy; I can't wait for you to fill me up and get me pregnant again. That's what you want, right, to see me all around with your child again? Yeah, such a needy slut for me when I'm fucking pregnant, fucking me every chance you get, and drinking my milk too, huh?'' you say as you keep rolling your hips while Tony desperately tries to thrust up, but without success.

''I don't think so,'' you say as you lean back, effectively pinning his hips to the bed with your weight. ''You're only supposed to take what I give you because that's what you need, right? All you need to do is lay there and be pretty for me, so I can fuck myself dumb on this cock, and you can get me nice and round again,'' you say, and Tony swallows thickly at your sharp tone but nods.

''Good boy,'' you say before picking up your hips and sinking again with quite a bit of force. Tony is completely taken off guard by it, and he gasps as pleasure builds in his veins, bones, and soul.

You keep this going at a nice and slow pace while building both of you up until you're almost there, and you lean forward to whisper into Tony's ear.

''Please, fuck our future child into me,'' you say with a breathy moan, and before you know it, you're laying on your back, your knees pressed into your chest, and Tony's fucking you with such vigor he's completely breathless.

''Fuck, I will fuck this cum so deep into you, it'll have no other way to go than into you, Sunshine. Going to get you so fucking pregnant again, see you growing round and perfect for me as you carry my baby again,'' he groans, and with those words, he shoots his cum deep inside you with a loud moan of your name.

You're falling apart simultaneously, and he fucks you both through your orgasms until you're completely fucked out, and he pulls out. When he sees his cum leaking out of you, he scoops it up and pushes it back into your pussy, wanting it to stick and get you pregnant.

''You're always my perfect girl, and I can't wait until you're glowing like last time when you carried the twins,'' he says as he peppers soft kisses all over your face before the two of you take a relaxing shower and spend the rest of the day on the couch.

Getting pregnant this time proved more difficult than anticipated, and you've done many pregnancy tests each time you're late, but to no avail. After about the 3rd or 4th time, you were ready to give up and accept that it wasn't in the cards for you, but Tony convinced you to keep going.

''We don't have to try again right away, Sunshine. If you want to wait a little while, that's okay too; your physical and mental health goes before anything else, okay?'' he says as you look at another negative pregnancy test after you've been so sure this time would be the one.

''I d-don't know if I-I can d-do this a-anymore,'' you say between lots of sniffles, the reality of yet another negative test slowly sinking into you, making you more discouraged than ever.

''It's okay, Sunshine, c'mere,'' Tony says as he pulls you into his chest, holding you close as sobs wreak havoc in your body. You can't take it anymore, and you're having a complete breakdown. You're feeling more spent than ever, and you know you can't keep going like this.

You decided to stop trying for about a year to get your cycle on track again, and maybe your hormone levels, too, since it could be one of the causes of your late periods.

That is until one faithful morning in early June, an alarming wave of nausea suddenly wakes you up, and you quickly run to the bathroom, just in time to throw up everything in your stomach and then some.

Tony was by your side instantly, holding your hair back with one hand and rubbing your back soothingly with the other. The cramps in your stomach are unlike anything you've ever felt before, and because of the force of your throwing up, you accidentally wet yourself, too, which you hadn't noticed as you were too busy trying to stop dry-heaving.

When you figure that out, you burst into tears, embarrassment flooding your body as you let your head fall, but Tony doesn't comment on it, knowing it'll only make you feel worse.

''Let's take a shower together,'' he says softly before standing up and turning on the shower so it can warm up before you get in, and he shoots Maria a quick text to take care of the twins. It's a good thing you're at his parents' house for a week.

He slowly gets you out of the pajamas you were wearing and throws them onto a pile to be washed right after your shower before getting into the shower with you, where you're shivering despite standing under the warm water.

Tears are still streaming down your face as he wraps his arms around you, and you two stand underneath the warm water, your arms holding his body tight to your own as you allow your emotions to take over for now.

Tony is your safe space; with him, you're finally letting go of all the emotions bottled up for so long. From the acting career, you never got to have, early parenthood, not having your father in your life, being unable to get pregnant, and so much more. Everything has been building up and leading to this point.

It will be a ride with more difficulties than you could have foreseen.

During the shower, Tony helps you wash your hair - giving you a relaxing scalp massage - and your body without mentioning what happened earlier. It was already embarrassing enough, and before you know it, you're clean and wearing your comfiest outfit, glasses, and hair loose around your shoulders.

''You're doing so well for me, Sunshine. You're doing perfectly. Shall we see our little Munchkins?'' he asks after putting on his comfy outfit and glasses.

''That'd be nice,'' you say. Tony throws the clothing from earlier in the washing machine, letting it do its thing before guiding you to the living room where Hudson and Orion are watching cartoons with Howard; Maria is in the kitchen making breakfast.

Orion spotted you first, and she happily trots over to you, and you let her arms surround you, pulling you in for a hug. It doesn't take long for Hudson to do the same; you're fighting back the tears right now.

You go and sit on your knees before them before talking to them. ''I love you both so much, you know that? You two are our little miracles, and I'm happy that I'm your Mommy,'' you say, and they both wrap their arms around your neck, each hugging one side of your face.

''We love you too, Mommy,'' Orion says, and she plants a big kiss on your cheek, which makes you giggle; Hudson does the same, making you chuckle as well, and Tony can't help but smile when he hears your two angels as they make you giggle like that.

''Can the two of you sit on the couch and watch your cartoon for a few minutes? I need to whisk Grandpa away to talk to him,'' you tell the two of them, and Howard gets up, following you to his office.

''Is everything okay?'' he asks as you close the door behind you and sit in one of the chairs in front of Howard's desk.

''I- I'm not sure... As you know, Tony and I have had many difficulties conceiving another child. Still, we might have gotten lucky by accident,'' you say, a small smile creeping onto your lips because you know it's too early to tell by now.

''Earlier today, I had this awful wave of morning sickness, and it's worse than it was with the twins, but I don't know if it's that or if I just ate something bad yesterday,'' you say, unsure of what Howard will say. But there's a reason you're trusting him with this information.

''Have you had the chance to do a test yet? I get that it's still early, but after everything the two of you have gone through, it might be good to take a test and know for sure, even if you might not like the outcome of it,'' he says, but you shake your head.

''W-We didn't think we'd need them anytime soon. We've only stopped actively trying about six months ago, and even though I'm on birth control now, I'm sure it could have slipped through,'' you sigh, and Howard nods.

''Well, what do you hope for the result to be?'' he asks, and it's a heavy question to which you're not sure you have an answer. On the one hand, you've been wanting another baby for so long, but on the other hand, you're not sure you're ready after all the negative tests lately.

''Honestly? I don't know, and that makes me feel horrible,'' you sigh, fighting back the tears.

''It's normal to not know what you want, especially after everything you've gone through for the last year. It's best if you talk to Tony about it and take a test together, so you both know what's happening, and we can take it from there,'' Howard says as he grabs your hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

Tony had a similar conversation with his Mom in the kitchen, too.

''Mom? Can I talk to you for a few minutes?'' he asks as he walks into the kitchen and leans with his butt against the counter, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

''Of course, what's going on?'' she says as she flips the French toast in the pan, which sports a beautiful golden brown color.

''I'm worried about her, Mom. I think she had a wave of morning sickness this morning, but it wasn't anything like with the twins; it was as if this had been quadrupled,'' Tony sighs as he thinks back to your hunched-over form earlier this morning.

''Is she pregnant again?'' Maria asks, but Tony shrugs.

''We haven't done a test yet, but I doubt it since she's on birth control. It's not like we were actively trying or anything,'' he says, watching Maria scoops the French toast onto a plate before adding new ones to the pan.

''Maybe start there,'' she says, and you do. After breakfast, Tony will get a few tests just to be sure while you're cuddled up on the couch with the twins and a nice thick blanket. You're watching the same movie for the hundredth time, but you don't mind because it makes them happy, which also makes you happy.

When Tony returns, you quickly take the tests; this time, there is no denying it; every test indicates you are pregnant. After all the hardships and negative tests, you've been blessed with a little one for your family.

This pregnancy has been tough so far; the morning sickness never disappears until you finally enter your third trimester. You are on strict bedrest now because the doctor doesn't want to put you under any more stress right now.

''Can I get you anything, Sunshine? Something to drink, some snacks? Another pillow? A few kisses?'' Tony asks as you get situated on your couch. Today is your first day of bed rest, and you're already restless.

''I can always go for some kisses,'' you say, and Tony happily provides, pecking your lips sweetly before you lean back, letting yourself sink into the pillows behind you as you get situated with the snacks and drinks close by, as well as your laptop, tablet, the remote for the tv and a few books.

''I'm going to pick up Virginia from the airport; I'll be home in a few hours, okay? If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask my Mom; she'll be here in less than 10 minutes when necessary,'' he says as if it's the first time you hear it.

''I know! Now go, or else my Mom will be waiting,'' you say, and with a playful smack on his butt, you send him on his way. Today is the twins' school day, so that they won't be home; Howard will pick them up and bring them by later tonight.

You were quickly used to the bedrest, but the further your pregnancy progressed, the more restless you became. You're used to doing everything around the house, and you feel bad for Tony since he had to stop filming for a pretty big film, forgoing one of the most prominent roles of his career.

''I'd do it each and everytime for you, Sunshine. You're more important than anything right now,'' he says, and even though you love the attention, it can get a bit much sometimes. Though in the nearly five years you and Tony have been married, you've never fought, and you weren't planning on starting now.

''Love, can I please have some time by myself?'' you ask, and Tony nods, giving one last kiss on your head before leaving you alone and doing his own thing for now.

This routine continued until you were about to hit the eighth month of your pregnancy when everything suddenly changed quickly.

''T-TONY! HELP!'' you screamed out, and he was by your bed within no time. You had already pushed back the comforter to see what was happening, and your water had broken already. It was still early, but you couldn't stop it now, so you went to the hospital.

The drive was smooth, and before you know it, you're in the labor and delivery ward of the hospital. Hudson and Orion are with Howard at home, and Virginia and Maria are with both of you in the hospital.

Every few minutes, a contraction rushed through your body, and you would scream from the pain, squeezing Tony's hand so hard you were afraid you might have broken it at one point.

''FUUUUUCK! GET HIM OUT OF ME ALREADY!'' you yell when the nurse checks how far you are dilated, and you're finally ready to push. Your doctor arrives quickly; before you know it, you're allowed to push until it suddenly feels like you're peeing.

''Stop pushing! You're losing a lot of blood, and we need to do an emergency c-section!'' she said, but you were at the point where you couldn't stop pushing, feeling like you needed to go to the toilet badly.

''C-can't stop!'' you say with a whine, but before you know it, you're wheeled to the operating room that's only a few doors down and brought under for an emergency c-section.

Tony, Maria, and Virginia are left in the room, utterly dumbfounded at what happened. The entire hospital is decorated with Christmas decorations, but here they were, fearing for your life and your son.

There was no Holiday cheer for them right now. Their Christmas Eve might have turned into the worst day of their lives without them knowing because no one is telling them anything.

After what seems like an eternity, one of the nurses in the operating room approaches Tony and pulls him apart from Maria and Virginia.

''Your wife has lost a lot of blood because her placenta ruptured, and we didn't want to risk the baby's health. Both mother and son are alive and well, though it will be a long recovery for her,'' the nurse says before returning to the operating room.

Tony falls against the wall before sliding down, his hands in his hair while sobs leave his chest and tears stream like hot tracks down his face. His wife and baby are okay; his family is finally complete.

''They're okay,'' he breathes out as Maria and Virginia walk over, and they both pull him in for a big hug, crying along with him as they are relieved you're both okay.

You're staying in the hospital for a week after the c-section, and three days into your stay, Howard, Maria, and Virginia are coming over to visit you three with the twins, as they've been very excited to meet their little brother.

Since you couldn't celebrate a proper Christmas, the twins are both wearing a Christmas sweater with ''Big Brother'' or ''Big Sister'' on it, and the grandparents are wearing wacky Christmas sweaters as well, along with some presents for everyone.

Tony was holding your newborn son in his arms since you're not allowed to lift too much yet; seeing how fresh your wound is, you're allowed to hold him during breastfeeding, which is good.

''Hi Mommy, hi Daddy!'' the twins say in unison, and they both run over to Tony, who swiftly needs to step back.

''Careful, Munchkins, I'm holding your little brother, and we wouldn't want anything to happen to him,'' he says before sitting down in a chair behind him, and you can't help but tear up as you see Hudson and Orion be so gentle with their brother.

''He looks like Hudson,'' Orion says with a big smile, and you nod.

''He does! But he also looks like you, Babygirl, because he may have a similar face to Hudson, but he is hiding the same curls as you under his little hat. He's the perfect combination of both of you,'' you say, and Tony shows what you're talking about.

Orion gasped happily when she saw, and she gently touched his hair, making both you and Tony melt as you looked at your twins with their little brother.

''But what is his name, Mommy?'' Hudson suddenly asks, and all eyes are on you, making you a little nervous.

''Tony and I have thought long and hard about his name and decided to give him an exceptional name. His full name is Paxton Howard Stark,'' you say before looking at Howard, whose jaw was almost on the floor.

''Can you come here, Howard? Because I want to thank you for everything you have done these past years. You stepped in as my Dad when my own couldn't handle the responsibility, and I am eternally grateful. Because of that, I wanted to give you the biggest Christmas gift of all - after Paxton being born on Christmas Day, that is -which is to name him after the best grandfather he'll ever have,'' you say, and you reach out to Howard to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

''Thank you so much for everything you've taught me these past years and for allowing me to show you what you've missed out on in your youth. You're like the daughter I always wish I had, and now that we have you, we're never letting you go. After giving us the wonderful gift of our three grandchildren, you will forever have a special place in our hearts and homes. I love you, and thank you for giving me the amazing honor of naming him after me,'' Howard says before leaning forward and giving a kiss on your forehead.

The afternoon is spent cooing over Paxton, feeding him, sleeping, looking over your wound, opening presents, laughing, crying, and talking.

When you're finally allowed to go home a few days later, Tony carries Paxton in his carrier as he walks into your house; Virginia, Maria, Howard, Hudson, and Orion are already inside. Now it's just the three of you left, and you can't help but say it after everything you've gone through.

''Welcome home, little one.''

[002yb]

absolutely obsessed with your infertile!dickjay hcs!! but also curious about your take on a kind of opposite au: any thoughts on dickjay accidental pregnancy 👀👀

Thank you so much, anon!! You're so sweet. I've written up two accidental pregnancy scenarios below just for you~ I hope you enjoy!! (´∀｀)♡

Mistaken Infertility leading to Accidental Pregnancy 👀

Honest to goodness, they both wholeheartedly believe that children aren't in their futures. So when Jason gets pregnant he's very much alarmed because how the fuck.

Dick, too, is lost because how. Also, who?

And Jason doesn't take offense to that, given their circumstances, but he swears it's only Dick. It's only ever been -

Jason being spooked and concerned that Dick won't react to the news well. And Dick is reeling, for sure. But only because they're pregnant? Yes. They're going to have a pup? If Dick wants to.

And Dick - even if he thought he could, he would have never actively tried, but now that it's here and happening? The fact that this is a miracle aside, Dick could never not want to do this.

His smile is brilliant, devastating. They're having a pup. A litter? A pup! ANd that reaction. That pure joy gives Jason so much peace of mind and assurance; it soothes so many of the fears and stress Jason would have been battling with.

Dick taking Jason's face in his hands, squishing Jason's cheeks as he kisses him. It's little more than a peck before Dick is on his knees marveling Jason's stomach and Jason can't help the sputtered laugh as his abdomen receives a similar kiss. He's peppered with them until Jason falls to his knees too and they hug each other and it's sweet.

Proud papa!Dick telling everyone about their pup, about how Jason is going to be a mom and Dick gets to be a dad. It both embarrasses Jason and makes him all warm

Intense family of bats going feral over the news because it's Dick and Jason's pup and it's the first pup their pack will get and Bruce in particular is intense because he's gonna be a grandpa, a grandpalpha? He's happy. Hugs for his boys. Especially because he knows they were convinced they would never have the option, the choice.

Jason being genuinely happy to be having a pup with Dick, but pregnancy is a long standing fear of his so Jason is stressed; Dick is there with him though. He's terrified of being a dad - as terrified as he is thrilled. They're in this together though; they've got one another. And their pack who won't leave them alone. Just them working through insecurities together and it's lovely.

So many belly kisses. Jason gets annoyed with it because hello, he's still here too. Dick laughing but smothering Jason with affections until Jason shoves him away because ugh alphas

Refraining from the angst route but please do know that my default for Jason in these sorts of routes never fails to go tragic I'm just - o(-( the pain it hurts good

Extra Unplanned Pregnancy without the Infertility Storyline 👀

Where Dick has a no strings attached one night stand with Jason

It's literally a one-time casual encounter, one time; a quick one and done fling where they both let off steam and resolve a ridiculous amount of UST between them it's good

Contrary to popular belief, Dick isn't actually the sort to do that kind of thing. Despite any efforts, he's a traditional alpha; something he's been playfully teased about by friends

So for him to do this? He's a little proud of himself ngl.

But lbr Dick fails at casual right away because he's already thinking about doing it again. Consistently. A committed friends with benes situation where they don't see other people

Anyway, Dick is happy with how everything played out. Feels better than ever.

Relationships never end well for him, but this thing he fell into with Jason? They both left happy and no one got hurt in the end.

Little does he know 👀

And then from Jason's side:

Jason turning up on Dick's doorstep, agitated as all get out

Dick, hopeful and eager for a reprise because Jason doesn't just visit him out of the blue like this

And seriously right on the doorstep Jason just bluntly blurts out that he's pregnant. It's Dick's.

And Dick is just (ʘ‿ʘ) ???? because of course this couldn't be casual of course something like this would happen what in the goddamn omg okay this is fine but no it's not because Jason is clearly freaking out but so is Dick what do what ahhhhhhhh (internal)

Continuation to the above because Dick absolutely going through the full range of emotions from denial to acceptance; panic to excitement - all the feelings but ultimately tempering himself because Jason is very clearly going through his own thing and Dick needs to be there for him first and foremost as the baby daddy

Then it follows the usual storyline of the two of them deciding on what to do which is a rollercoaster of ups and downs and do we keep or not but what if this that and the other and they fall in love along the way and it's just a good time.

[moroser]

Hi! I literally just saw your aus of Hunter and Lilith and they're so cute! I like the way you write Lilith in your human au! It's cool to see more of the ace spectrum represented! I also have a question: do you have any tips on writing Lilith and Hunter's parent-child relationship?

okay, thank you so much for sending this!!!!! i cannot even articulate how strangely helpful it was. i was JUST (like, TODAY) talking to my friend about how it's not really a problem, but something i run into a lot with human au is people constantly assuming that lilith adopted hunter, which is totally fair!! and a natural assumption. but i feel very strongly about a few things regarding making her his bio mom for the human au:

i really wanted to explore her in the position of suddenly expecting a child and accommodating that.

i like to interpret lilith as greyace, so a sexual urge might crop up once in a blue moon for her and she MIGHT take care of it with someone else, or not. she is starkly aromantic, so any sexual encounter is purely for just the sex. (and my disclaimer, you totally can interpret her asexuality any way that you want. it's a spectrum.)

ace people are not always aware they are ace early in life? like other sexualities, it can take time for someone to really pin down their identity. i am personally 31 years old i only figured out with certainty that i was ace in the passed couple years.

and finally, ace people can have children! i wanted to write and explore lilith in a situation where it was completely unexpected and unplanned because lilith, to me, does not feel like someone who ever would have planned for children or wanted them. so it felt like the most natural route to explore (as opposed to her choosing with IVF or adopting, which is often also a choice. choices i just don't feel like lilith would have made.)

i really am so appreciative to hear someone finds it cool to see the ace spectrum represented, it just makes me so happy! bless you anon!

and to answer your question: as far as tips go, i'm not sure i really have any. i just try very hard to keep them both in character. lilith is easier because there's a strong base for her as she is an adult in the show and in my au she's already 36 when she has hunter. hunter requires a little more thought because i am exploring him as a child who is raised in a healthy environment with all his needs met. so i have to pluck out his personality traits while also considering he does not have the trauma that he does in canon. the au was specifically made to use lilith and hunter in a healthy world cause they deserve it. lol. i really enjoy exploring lilith because she's just not naturally parental material and ends up being better at it than she ever thought or even realizes. i think about what type of parent she would be and just sort of apply that to everything else!

[suzukiblu]

It feels a little weird and awkward to say this but thank you? For doing so much accidental baby acquisition/baby acquisition stuff in general? Its kinds always been my favourite thing to both read and write (has consistently been for over 10 years now) but people seem to majorly have a thing against it (especially when the parents are teens, which like, kinda fair because thats not SUPPOSED to happen irl, but thats also what makes it so interesting to explore in fiction yknow? Especially as a teen pregnancy baby myself) so I always feel very discouraged from writing that stuff. People go on and on about "kids not being a mandatory life step that everyone wants to do, stop giving these characters kids" and I'm just sitting here, absolutely certain I'll never want kids myself, wanting to explore the topic in fiction, and feeling super hurt by that. Why cant those people just leave it alone if they don't like it? What happened to dont like dont read? Why do they have to pick on people who write these topics?

That got a little venty, sorry

Anyways, I just really want to thank you for writing kidfics so often, as weird as that is. I've only been following you for a month but its already made me start feeling better about my own writing and favourite tropes. Its dumb to let assholes get to me, but they do start wearing you down after 10 years yknow?

Thank you, I'm so glad you're liking my stuff! And don't sweat it on the venting, I get it, lol. Sometimes you just gotta vent some.

Honestly I was kinda meh on kidfic/baby acquisition fics when I was younger and tended to go the "don't like/don't read" route on them myself, but these days it's just kinda helpful to be able to get out some of my feels about both how I was parented and how I'm very unlikely to ever BE a parent despite having previously wanted to, so like, accidental baby acquisition especially has just been REALLY vibing with me as a genre. Like--in the sense of if I ever end up with a kid myself, it almost definitely will BE unplanned and accidental, and also in the sense of my feelings about the idea of making a very deliberate Choice about being a parent, as opposed to just kinda doing it as another checklist item on the list of expected things you just do as you go through life.

Also I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about your writing, it's nice to hear I could help with something like that. ❤ I've been very lucky with the reception I've gotten for my stuff, generally speaking my readers either just don't engage with what they're not into or tell me "hey I'm not even into this, but actually I really enjoyed the way you did it once I tried it". So like, usually I prescribe to the theory of writing about things I care about and trying to be honest and not self-censor too much about the feelings and thoughts I have on those topics, and just try to let my audience find me via tags and word of mouth. If there's people who aren't into my preferred genres, then they can just go play in their own corner of the sandbox and I'll play in mine.

Plus fuck it, man, I just like writing cute kids and also working out personal trauma and helping other people just, like, get the catharsis of reading a healthy parent-child relationship. It just feels good, y'know?

[basmathgirl]

What seems kinda odd to me is the fact, especially in hindsight, after watching the 60th anniversary, that in all those years between “Journey’s End” and “The Star Beast” I didn’t really come across a fic where the solution to the Meta-Crisis is to get Donna pregnant (or more precisely, that the Doctor himself decides to get her pregnant). I mean there are quite a few stories involving a pregnant Donna (unplanned pregnancy/ Donna discovering a few weeks after the Doctor left her, that she is pregnant or some variations involving Jenny or even Tentoo and some are even linked to the Meta-Crisis in a way). But so far I haven’t found a nice smutty story, where the Doctor decides, that he has to sleep with Donna and get her pregnant in order to safe her life. Kinda in the vein of tropes like “shag or die” or in this case “shag or get your memories removed”.

On paper, the in the show presented solution, which implied that Donna was able to handle the Meta-Crisis energy so well/ for so long, because she shared it with her unborn baby, sounds very much like a fanfic plot (and of course I don’t think that is a negative thing :) ).

So after “The Star Beast” I went to AO3, certain that I will find at least a handful stories, which went a similar route, just to be disappointed.

(Maybe for some people the “dubious consent” factor/ vibe would be too prominent in a story like this. And especially in the Donna x Doctor fandom there are almost no fics, which involve/ explore this kind of story element.)

Hello kind Anon

That “dubious consent” factor definitely took it's toll on stories being posted on AO3. Putting in the 'Ten/Donna' and 'pregnancy' filters only gives you two fics: If They Knew Sweet Little You and The Complicated Life of Donna Noble.

Which is weird considering I know I've written the Doctor deliberately getting Donna pregnant, or vice versa. Whether these stories are “a nice smutty story” is up to you to decide (I just churn this stuff out, apparently), but at least I can offer something for your consideration.

I'll start with the most obvious choice: Dying To Love You Folowed by Donna's choice: Forbidden Lover Another choice by Donna: Around The Mulberry Bush Back to the Doctor's plans: Putting The Temp Back And finally a really old fix-it: Lost and then Found Again Later

When/if I find any others, I'll come back and add them because I'm sure a couple of friends have written such stuff in the dim and distant past. Remembering where these stories are is another matter...

[rhapsodynew]

How David Bowie traveled the entire USSR in a compartment of an ordinary train.

During his more than half a century-long career, British rock musician David Bowie toured almost the whole world, and almost everywhere he was greeted by crowds of fans mad with delight, and concerts were held only at the best urban venues. 

One of such inhospitable countries for foreign artists was the Soviet Union, where Bowie's songs were simply banned. Therefore, when rumors appeared in the press that David Bowie had secretly visited the Soviet Union in the early 70s, all public attention turned to this extremely curious story.

It later became known that the trip was not such a secret, because along with Bowie, the USSR was also crossed by journalist Robert Musel, who later wrote an article about the musician's journey, friend and colleague of the singer Jeff McCormack, who published an entire book about the artist, and photographer Lee Childers, who recorded all the details of the trip.

David Bowie and Jeff McCormack in the dining car

In April 1973, when David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust Tour, dedicated to the promotion of two albums by the artist ("The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars" and "Aladdin Sane"), was already coming to its logical conclusion, the entire David Bowie team was counting on a short vacation, because The next concert in London was scheduled for mid-May only. In general, it is an ideal situation to stay at home and relax for a while. However, Bowie had completely different plans in this regard...

David Bowie during the "Ziggy Stardust Tour"

. . . And all because in the distant 70s, David Bowie suffered from terrible aerophobia, the cause of which was a very nervous flight from Cyprus during a storm for the performer. Looking ahead, I note that over time Bowie still managed to overcome his fear of flying, but until then he tried to move between concert venues using land or water transport. And this, as you know, required much more time than flying by plane.

In general, David Bowie planned to spend all his free time on the road before the concert in London. At first, the artist and his team had to travel for two days on the ship Felix Dzerzhinsky, en route from Yokohama to Nakhodka. Most of the passengers on board were ordinary tourists, but this did not bother the rock musicians in any way: they drank and had fun all the way, and Bowie even played an unplanned acoustic set, performing his main hits.

The audience of this spontaneous concert liked the version of the song "Amsterdam" the most Jacques Brel, which was performed by the artist. On the stage after the concert, Bowie talked with the Russian sailors for several more hours, telling them about Western culture.

When the steamer finally arrived at the port of Nakhodka, all passengers, including musicians, were escorted to the train, which Bowie liked very much - a big and, unfortunately, forced fan of railway travel

At the same time, all foreign tourists were given a book "On Scientific Communism" by Marx, Engels and Lenin, as well as memos explaining what can and cannot be photographed in the USSR. However, the funniest "gift", according to the musicians, was a brochure in which the authors stated their point of view that the animated series "Tom and Jerry" contributes to the mental degradation of children.

The train that the musicians boarded took them only to Khabarovsk in three days, where foreign guests had to switch to a much more modest Trans-Siberian Express - the most ordinary train, similar to thousands of other trains that still run between Russian regions.

In addition, the "ordinariness" of this train was also in the contingent traveling in it, consisting of ordinary Soviet citizens, for whom David Bowie seemed like some kind of alien. It is understandable: the actor had red hair, he was dressed in bright outerwear - shiny T-shirts, wide trousers, caps and platform shoes, and on the train he even wore a kimono.

The journey from Khabarovsk to Moscow lasted six days, during which David Bowie and his team not only listened to the unflattering statements of the Soviet middle class, but also did more pleasant things - they communicated with the guides and even sang their songs to them, for which, in addition to ovations, they received additional portions of tea and products that the guides They bought it during stops.

In addition, the "ordinariness" of this train was also in the contingent traveling in it, consisting of ordinary Soviet citizens, for whom David Bowie seemed like some kind of alien. It is understandable: the actor had red hair, he was dressed in bright outerwear - shiny T-shirts, wide trousers, caps and platform shoes, and on the train he even wore a kimono.

The musicians looked out the window for a long time and thought a lot. Bowie, for example, was very struck by the poverty of the Soviet people, and he could not understand how they survived the harsh Siberian winters in wooden houses. He was also surprised by Soviet women who, regardless of age, performed hard physical work. And, of course, the musician admired nature, because in addition to picturesque landscapes, he often saw wild animals from the train window.

The Trans-Siberian Express arrived in Moscow on April 30, and Bowie and his team spent three days in the capital. Of course, they went to Red Square and looked into GUM, but Bowie didn't like it there. He noted that they did not even manage to have a delicious lunch in GUM. Well, on May 1, the musicians witnessed a large-scale festive parade, which they watched from the windows of the Intourist hotel on Tverskaya Street (now The Ritz-Carlton is located there).

Bowie was frankly amazed not only by the size of the crowd, but also by the fact that each participant in the parade was holding a red flag and singing patriotic songs. This sight remained in the musician's memory for a long time and became his last great impression from a long journey through the Soviet Union. The next day, the musicians boarded a train and, passing Warsaw, Berlin and Paris, headed for London.

After this trip, David Bowie came to the USSR (Russia) twice more. In 1976, together with Iggy Pop, on the birthday of the latter, they decided to fly from Zurich to Moscow in between shows, and celebrate the holiday there.

But, this is the next story.... to be continued...

[neteyamb]

ashes to ashes: chapter six

pairing: loak x f!omatikaya reader

summary: as a healer, y/n had taken an oath to treat every patient with their best interests in mind. this hadn’t been a problem, until loak’s petty injuries become a routine. she has to swallow her pride and feign concern, feign kindness, and face the ugly hate that has been brewing between them for years. 

tags: enemies to lovers, confused and pining loak

word count: 2.1k

notes: im in poland rn and this is a little bit TERRIBLE but also very necessary.

 ⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･

billie bossa nova

love when it makes you lose your bearings / it might be more of an obsession / you better lock your phone / and look at me when you're alone / won't take a lot to get you goin' / i'm sorry if it's torture though / that heavy breathin' on the floor / i’m yours, i'm yours 

nova – a star that suddenly increases its light output tremendously and then fades away to its former obscurity

your eyes search loak’s for any insincerity. you had grappled with him over superiority for as long as you can remember, but for it to be offered to you made it feel like a default win or some dirty trick. you were still debating which would be worse. loak’s attention was glued to you so fiercely that you felt naked below his amber eyes; you abstain from looking at his face any longer, drawing your attention to the fresh scars that littered his body. you distantly note that they were healing nicely, fading slowly from harsh red to calm blue.

for him to come to you like this, almost grovelling–it was an insult of the lowest sort; if you had any respect for him before, it was because he wouldn’t back down. while he belittled you constantly, he never went easy on you, he would fight with everything he had. and now that he chooses to pity you, were you meant to fawn over his whimsical, clearly unplanned apology? familiar anger sank in your stomach and crawled up your throat. “i don’t owe you anything,” you shoot, crossing your arms over your chest. loak clenched his jaw, considering your words. 

he begins to wonder if his decision to confront you was made prematurely; even now, he had to refrain from jumping your bones in aggravation, from pinning you down and trying to taste your comebacks. he worries his lip, ripping his eyes away from the curve of your neck as if he hadn’t been getting acquainted with it for several moments. “no, you don’t–owe me anything,” he assents gruffly. 

you attempt to physically peel his heavy attention off of you, taking a further step back to rustle away the thick air. “oh, joy. our first agreement.” you begin to continue on your route, but he grabs for your arm in resolve, quick to stop you while his chest thuds wildly. you snarl at the path ahead. “wait. i can make you a deal.” it was desperate, and as the offer fled his lips he was frantic to come up with a feasible proposition. he couldn't afford to let you slip away a second time. you flinch, turning towards him once more with your patience wearing thin. he furrows his brows, averting his eyes as a panicked blush rises up his neck. “i can teach you how to hunt. formally.” he pauses, tilting his head towards you. “you could be a warrior.”

your ears perk at his proposal. of course, you were very familiar with the bow, but your failure to follow through with the pursuit of valid warrior training was a sore spot he consistently aimed at. you glare at him in warning, hoping for his sake it wasn’t just another jab to add to the pile. loak licks his lips, staring down at the grass. “it’ll be great,” he straightens his posture, flashing a hopeful, boyish grin. “promise.” 

✶✶✶✶

your stomach filled with regret as you walked towards the archery grounds the next afternoon. you were skeptical about being taught by loak, but if you ever wanted to fight alongside real soldiers, there wasn’t much choice; those willing to take time out of their day for one-on-one training were scarce, especially if you consider their teaching capabilities. jittery, you stressed the drawstring of your bow as you waited. 

loak approached the clearing with conviction in his step. he had never offered you help before, but he had quickly realized this past week that without you around, his focus and mood took a lethal hit; he’d be spacing out and then snapping at people for next to nothing. if he thought about it, this deal is moreso about helping himself rather than you. he just had to play nice, but not…not too nice. a tight smile crosses his face when he sees you, but it was directed a little over your shoulder instead of at yourself. 

loak had seen you shoot before, but watching your calculated gestures up-close was different; his brain fogged as he analyzed the way your shoulderblades flowed under cerulean skin, and he tripped over his words more times than he’d like to admit once he noticed the way the drawstring prodded at your lips when you took aim. he pushed down the irritating emotions that lapped at his belly, biting his tongue. 

after conquering every static target, the two of you shifted off-course towards moving ones. you followed him into dense trees for several minutes before coming across a yerik. crouching together behind a bush, you watch as it licks at a puddle and flicks its ear. it had been a significantly long amount of time since you had last pointed an arrow at a living creature, but loak gives you the go-ahead. you were annoyed that you put yourself in a position where you had to follow his orders, but still you take your aim, digging your knees into the dirt and straightening your back as you drew the string. you held your shoulders tighter than you knew was necessary, but you couldn’t shake off the fear of the probable humiliation you’d succumb to if you missed the shot. loak notices, shuffling closer and adjusting you with icy hands. you bristle under his touch, but keep your eyes on the yerik. 

his chin dips slightly at your hesitation; obviously you hadn’t practiced hunting much and this was just your first session, but if you were thrown onto the battlefield at this moment (as warriors often are, with little warning), you’d be struck down quicker than he could react. he'd have to drill into you the impluse to shoot reflexively if he wanted you to succeed. behind you, loak leans towards your ear, hair tickling at your collarbone. “release.” his voice is low, soft but not whispering. you suck in a breath, holding your position strong before ripping your hand away from the nock of the arrow. it hits the creature in the heart, and you don’t turn to meet loak’s approving expression before removing yourself from the bush and praying at its side. he’s light on his feet as he joins you, cutting in to correct your words no more than twice. 

✶✶✶✶

once you’ve finished carrying the animal back to the village to be preserved as dried meat, you’re quick to put some distance between yourself and loak in hopes of settling your nerves. he stands there quietly for a minute, permitting himself to indulge in the gentle sway of your long hair in the breeze as you leave. 

dusk crept over the village, and loak declined dinner in favour of laying in his hammock. he splayed his fingers over his abdomen in thought, gradually digging his fingernails into the skin until it stings. the more loak thought, the more it was maddening; you danced around his mind, most recurrently in your usual, taunting manner. now, though, he is able to remember what your body feels like against his. he’s known before from heated arguments followed by tense healing sessions, but those came with so much doubt and conflicted thoughts that he couldn’t make sense of what was a fantasy and what was reality. now, he could remember feeling just one thing at a time. and it was a curse. he remembers the way your chest pressed into his when your breath would hitch, he remembers the way your nails grazed his back, and he remembers the way your warm tongue moved in synchronization with his. 

sleep wouldn’t come to him. defeated, he rises to his feet with the intention of taking a cold shower. 

✶✶✶✶

you walked hip-to-hip with kiri like a conjoined twin as the sun settled in the sky, having just finished weaving practice. you were making steady progress, now able to create small armbands given that they have no ambitious details. you were walking her home; she had promised neytiri to keep an eye on tuk while she and jake went out. you stopped at the door, watching with a small smile as neytiri kissed her daughter’s forehead and ruffled her hair before heading off.

loak sat in his hammock, looking up at you with tired eyes. you wanted to laugh a little; he looked kind of wimpy with his sunken shoulders and downturned ears, but you decide against it. you didn’t want to risk losing the shiny new deal. still, facts are facts. “loak, you look like shit.” he grumbled an unintelligible response, swinging his bow over his back and walking out of the hut on quick feet. for a second, you weren’t sure if he intended on teaching you today–he’s sensitive when he’s grumpy. “you coming?” he threw over his shoulder as he walked past you, decidedly avoiding eye contact. 

you trudged deeper into the forest than before. the two of you didn’t talk, instead preferring to listen to the sounds of wildlife waking up. you came across another yerik, an older one that appeared to be female. you were ready to perform the actions you had yesterday, but before you could execute them, loak swiftly picked up a stone and chucked it beside the animal. he was not very talkative today, but it didn’t surprise you he’d do something like that without warning. still, annoyed, you toss him a questioning look. the fatigue had left his eyes, they were now bright and glowed in the shade. you wonder briefly when it had happened, and how it was possible you didn't notice until now.

“chase it,” he said, not waiting for you before running after it. you held your bow in a tight grip as you leapt over low branches, but you couldn’t deny it was difficult to properly place the arrow while keeping up. you shoot blindly before nudging past loak in the direction of the yerik’s wail. 

✶✶✶✶

the two of you had taken a wrong turn somewhere. you were lost, chests pleading for air. frustrated, you whack him with your bow. “that was entirely your fault!” you snap, eyes wild. still heaving, he whacks you with his own in return. he wasn’t in the mood today. “you have to learn to chase them, y/n. just because you can’t on the first try doesn’t mean it’s my fault.” you seethe, considering his reply. “still, i have no idea where we are,” he says, looking around in vain for any familiar landmarks. you huff. “yeah. now what, genius?” 

loak thinks for a moment, pouting his lips. the both of you could handle yourselves against the creatures of the forest, but the best thing to do was wait in the area until a search party was inevitably sent out. you'd be in a fuckton of trouble afterwards, but it'd do the job. “let’s spar,” he breathes. “good for training.” you look at him skeptically, eyes narrowed. “i think we’ve exercised that option enough,” you deadpan. loak chuckles, removing the quiver from his back and placing it on the ground next to his bow. he figures, if he can’t take his anger out on you, he has free reign to do what he will under the pretense of training. he’s convinced it’s a good idea, although maybe it has something to do with sleep deprivation. he nudges your shoulder. “hit me with your best shot.”

hesitantly, you put your bow and quiver next to his while eyeing him suspiciously, lips pursed. you had never hit loak because he asked you to, and this setting seemed…more formal than you were accustomed to. you lower your knees and place your hands out readily in defense. he mirrors your actions, feeling light; this was the first time he could breathe without a clenched chest in days. he felt alive. for a few seconds, you attempted to disarm him with telepathic mind games, but when it didn’t work, you made a kick for the back of his knees. he easily jumps around it, tail curling behind him with the adrenaline he had craved for days. loak grins, rounding your back to poke at it. you shiver, annoyed, before whipping around to meet his eyes.

“you’d be a sucker on the battlefield. don’t leave your back exposed.” you lower your arms briefly. he’s giving you advice, you realize. helpful, genuine advice. you feel a grin split your face. “noted,” you say, falling back into position. you circle him a little, keeping him in your line of sight with his words in mind. 

you’re able to get a few pushes in, but it was mainly chalked up to the fact that you knew loak's movements and habits so well. heart beating rapidly, he sweeps at your legs with one of his own and you fall to your back. he leans over you, pausing for a second to make sure you’re not winded. “i win,” he smiles cheekily, eyes darting quickly to your mouth. he taps your leg. “same goes for your legs. keep them strong.”

⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･

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