#eventually culminating in this scene where everything is about her and yet she herself does not -- cannot -- appear

[eveningrainstorm]

take responsibility.

[pochapal]

i know i wrote it off but on my evenings i've been watching a letsplay of the first two episodes of double exposure and now because i'm Like That i semi-genuinely constructed a theory for the game because i'm nothing if i can't solve video game mysteries for enrichment

anyway thots below (spoilers for those who care):

i think based on everything the whole of double exposure's some kind of timeloop. they're trying to distract with doppelgangers and timeline bleeding (the latter is true) but i think the safi murder is objectively as it seems: max kills her. a future max coming back from the very end of the story under safi's guidance because safi herself is secretly the mastermind of her own killing in what is maybe some kind of mega twist maybe.

anyway the way i think this works is that the whole game takes place in an altered timeline leading up to the loop instigated initially by max/safi from the secret third polaroid timeline. what happens is i think safi's murder spurs max into her old instincts which eventually culminates in max revealing her time powers to safi which inspires the latter to send max back to set this whole thing in motion except to fulfill her aims.

what i think that is seems to be based on everything is some kind of misguided revenge quest to do with maya okada. based on everything it seems highly likely that safi would have reason to blame the caledon faculty for her friend's death and seek to enact revenge. of course she wouldn't normally be able to ruin them without getting caught and/or arrested so it's not until the polaroid timeline where a max who has grown close to safi reveals that she used to have time powers as a teen and maybe still does but she just doesn't use them.

polaroid!safi who never let go of this grudge would therefore be very interested in time travel as a means of getting back at people she believes are responsible for her friend's death. she would obviously be inspired particularly by max mentioning that trying to undo chloe's death was the catalyst and therefore thinks something like: hey what if we both went back in time and killed past me while future us ruin gwen/lucas/etc. theoretically given that max was willing to turn a whole town to rubble for her previous bestie it's not impossible she'd be convinced, either out of some kind of manipulation OR as some kind of "this already happened" timeloop thing. kinda like a whole dark inverse of the chloe/rachel situation that sucks max in because of her guilt over failing to stop it the last time.

due to whatever reasons i'm guessing the following facts are true: the time travel murder works, but polaroid!max vanishes or otherwise can't be in the past. also for some reason, perhaps to do with a time travel x2 combob, the timelines start bleeding into each other (maybe polaroid!max could still rewind but something goes wrong and that's why present!max's power manifests as the timeline shifting). likely alive!world supplants polaroid!world in the order of operations. this also means that alive!world consists of two safis while dead!world contains zero safis.

we've not been actually allowed to spend time with safi in game really yet and the off screen stuff is on purpose because while we might end up suspecting alive!safi most of the crimes of sabotage are due to future!safi with some timeline knowledge using bleedpoints to her advantage. somewhere there is a drug dealing gwen. somewhere there is a timeline where lucas is abusive to his son. similarly there's a timeline where vinh doesn't care about abraxas and thus can't get into his own phone. etc etc. accidental and deliberate timeslips abound.

similarly but different to polaroid!world, alive!safi eventually grows aware of max's powers due to max's desire to stop/solve the murder, like polaroid!max and safi knew she'd do. all the while future!safi is very neatly behind the scenes ruining the lives of everyone she thinks wronged her. the confusion in the game will come from figuring out the two safis and figuring out who did what because alive!safi will presumably still be attempting the minor acts of revenge she already planned to do (gwen and lucas took action before the start of the game, likely due to safi's relentless harassment of them).

at some point alive!safi and max both independently learn of this; safi decides, as she would, that the plan is great and that it's in her best interest to fulfill the loop. max, meanwhile, encounters polaroid!safi who, for stable timeloop reasons/timeline hubris, ends up having her existence eaten away by belonging to a dead timeline erased twice over, grown irrelevant now that her past self can meet all the requirements for the timeloop just as easily. i guess maybe polaroid!safi will, in a moment of regret, ask max to stop herself from doing this - it'll probably come out that no, there really was nothing suspicious about maya's death, and safi destroyed so much genuinely for nothing.

final confrontation of the game is max and safi at the point where they're ready to go back to kill past!safi and start the loop over. the choice will be between going back alone and killing safi to stop everything from happening, or staying in the ruined alive!timeline to bring safi to justice that way, very much laterally echoing the arcadia bay choices. justice in a broken world vs fixing the world with blood on your hands - the needs of max vs the needs of everyone else etc.

i think if executed well it might be a kinda technically decent timeloop mystery but i also think deck9 lacks the narrative chops to actually make the characters compelling enough for this to land given that there are a trillion chloe/rachel/arcadia bay parallels in this story that you know they won't capitalize on because despite their best efforts they can't capture the heart of life is strange. anyway yeah this is my humble onion on what they may be very clumsily attempting in this Video Game lol

[mermaidsirennikita]

What are your favorite Lorraine Heath books?

I haven't read as many as I should have at this point... So many books, so little time! I did just pick up a ton of paperbacks by Lorraine, so hopefully I'll read those soon.

--Waking Up with The Duke. Probably still my favorite of hers. The hero has been in love with the heroine from afar for a long time, but she's married this cousin/best friend. He and the cousin were in an accident years before which caused her to miscarry and rendered his cousin impotent. The cousin asks the hero to impregnate her so that he can have an heir of his blood, and eventually the hero and heroine agree.... This one has a big breeding kink vibe, a pining hero, secrets, and a heroine who slowly defrosts.

--The Earl Takes All. The "gorilla twins" book. The hero goes on a safari with his identical twin brother before his brother's wife (who hates the hero) gives birth. The brother dies in a gorilla-related incident, but before he died he basically said like... If anything happened to him, the hero should pretend to be him so that the heroine doesn't miscarry (she's prone to miscarriages). Soooo the hero goes home and pretends to be his twin while falling in love with his unknowing pregnant sister in law. It's NUTS.

--Scoundrel of My Heart. The heroine needs to marry well, and she sets her sights on a duke who's basically taking like.... applications by mail for the position of duchess. She asks the hero, who she's known since childhood and has always had a sparring relationship with, to talk her up to the duke; in the process, she and the hero get close and fall for each other but right before either one can make a proper move the hero's life is upended and he loses everything. There's like... a year time jump in this one, and by the time the hero returns he's HARDENED AND MEAN and the heroine is engaged to the duke. It's quite epic.

--The Viscount and The Vixen. The hero has a crazy old father, and the heroine arrives after answering an ad his father placed in the paper for a wife. A contract has already been signed, and she'll get a huge payout if she doesn't marry someone with a claim to the title, so the hero steps in and marries her to keep his father from being scammed. Naturally, this was his father's plan all along, but the heroine has a big secret. Really fun, and a great culmination to the Hellions of Havisham series (this book follows The Earl Takes All).

--The Duchess Hunt. Followup to Scoundrel of My Heart. The duke who was taking applications is STILL AT IT and he's like, super picky and intense (I suggest reading this after Scoundrel because he makes a huge impression in that book). He enlists his faithful secretary to help him with the task but a) she does in fact have secrets b) so does he and c) they are obviously in love with each other but neither one can spit it out. Includes a scene where she tells him she like, got herself off in a carriage while thinking about him and he loses his miiiind. Also! A great rec for Pepperony shippers, because the vibes are strong in this one.

--The Return of The Duke. Not out yet! But such a good book. So many twists and turns, a good ending for the series that started with Scoundrel. A heroine of my heart (bitter, jaded, vampy, secretly soft) up against a man who hates himself for wanting to worship at her feet.

[incorrect-quotes-from-she-ra]

Morning! I hope you don't mind if i give you yet another She-Ra thought I'm too damn lazy to post on my own. Also, it's long again. I WILL find that character limit some day.

So, we know the way Shadow Weaver raised Adora resulted, among other issues, in her being selfless to the point of self-sacrifice, which came to a climax in the Heart's failsafe business.

And it's been suggested that this was basically intentional on Shadow Weaver's part. Basically, selflessness is a very beneficial quality for others to have. My theory is that <b>her plan for Adora had always been specifically for her to someday use the failsafe and release all magic</b>.

(i will admit i am also curious how formatting works in this app. thank you for your help with these experiments)

So, evidence. Let's start with her name. I know this is a remake and they were stuck with the existing names, but there's a scene where Scorpia complains about it ("yeah i GET it, everyone LOVES you"), which constitutes the writers acknowledging its meaning, which makes me think it's fair game to analyze.

First, I'm obviously assuming Shadow Weaver choose it, as part of her ongoing parenting plan. It's also possible it was her original First One-given name, we don't know. Neither quite works because either she or Light Hope should have had some issues knowing what the name was and they clearly knew automatically. Really the entire series is weird in that everyone communicates with everyone else way too easily, and i will definitely rant about that someday.

For now let it stand that Shadow Weaver is the parent figure, it makes the most sense for her to pick the name, both in-universe and narratively, so i shall assume so by default. I have two things to say about that choice.

First, as we all have noticed, most of the princesses have names ending in -a. All of them, if you count "Glimma". It's never said to be intentional, but it would make sense. And then IF such a tradition exists among Etheria's royalty, it's not unreasonable for Shadow Weaver, a notable and moderately respected member of the land of knowledge, to know about it.

And then if she knew, of course she would take it into consideration when looking for names. Admittedly it's a little weird with the anti-Princess propaganda that the Horde has, but she doesn't really need to explain or justify this. Hordak has a very [i]laissez-faire[/i] attitude, and everyone else she clearly doesn't care about.

And if she knew or suspected that the princesses' powers were related to the Heart of Etheria, which i will argue for later, then giving her a princessy name is also adequately ironic.

The second name bit is that Scorpia clearly knows some Latin, but not enough. True, <em>adorare</em> means to worship and/or to love, but Latin verbs are more complex than that. _Adora_ specifically is 3rd person singular present indicative active. The translation would be "she loves".

Names aside, i want to talk about how they (we) learned about the Heart of Etheria. Castaspella doesn't know what to do, Shadow Weaver suggests they take a road trip to research, which she's reticent about but concedes is probably the best use of her time, and they find success. We don't know how long it took them, but i had the distinct impression that it wasn't very long.

Naturally, I'm suggesting Shadow Weaver knew all along, and led Castaspella on the trip to have an excuse for the inevitable "how do you know?". Also tricked her into thinking it was /her/ discovery, and maybe even that she was succeeding where Shadow Weaver had failed before, if necessary.

That's why she's so excited to share their results with everybody, and Shadow Weaver cuts her off, apparently just to antagonize her for fun, but I'm suggesting it was also because for her this is the culmination of a decades-long plan, and she wants to Get On With It.

It's also interesting that there was a mural depicting the Spell of Obtainment in the hallway leading to the failsafe. It was a reminder of Shadow Weaver's past, and an opportunity for her to show she regrets her results but doesn't repent from her choices, which i quite like actually. But I'm also saying that, meta-textually, it was a signal that she'd been there before, literally.

And then there is the potential in-universe connection, since we don't know what exactly the spell was meant to be obtaining. Power, for sure, and from what happened we're probably meant to assume it's tapping into some sort of demonic entity or dimension.

Fair enough, except that it never comes up again. And it's kind of a big plot point that Etheria is isolated from the rest of the cosmos, which may or may not conflict with it having a contactable "hell". Meanwhile there's the Heart of Etheria Project collecting all that magic, which Mara's allies (and their descendants) would know something about, have access to at least one backdoor to, and may well have tried to tap into its power at some point.

And then what went wrong may well be one of the defense mechanisms of the Project, though I'm admittedly veering into unfounded speculation.

So, a rough timeline. Light Spinner was always motivated to excel and craved power. She was probably always envied the princesses, who command greater magic than most sorcerers with apparently none of the study and practice.

She took to researching everything she could that might lead to power, eventually discovering the chamber with the failsafe, and presumably other information left by Mara's Friends, either in other chambers or in documents she's since removed. She would have learned a lot of things from this.

As i suggested, i believe she knew there's some connection between the princesses at large and the Heart of Etheria. Incidentally, i don't know exactly what that connection is, and in particular whether princesses were created by the Project or an existing phenomenon that the First Ones co-opted. But it doesn't matter, exactly.

What's important is that there's clearly a connection, more specifically a control system for the princesses and their magic, which is presumably related to how Shadow Weaver was able to tap into the Black Garnet's power. With Hordak's help, obviously, since she clearly believed it when he claimed he could cut her off at will, but he's later shown to have basically no understanding of First Ones' tech, so the knowledge must have come from her.

For the record, i would guess she thinks princesses are artificial, empowered both magically and politically to keep the planet in check, and that they would be depowered once the failsafe was fired. I also think that may be true, actually, since it almost happened when Entrapta was messing with the system, and if i recall none of them were shown to use any magic after Adora did fire it, while she clearly used Perfuma's power. But anyways!

Back to what Shadow Weaver learned, she would know some of what the failsafe does, namely disrupt the system that's hoarding most of the planet's magic, thereby spreading magic to all (most notably her), and some of how to use it, and the fact that she couldn't do so and hope to live, and some of the criteria for who can. That part is important.

But first, she also learned the Spell of Obtainment, deemed it more likely but didn't think she could do it herself, despaired of getting help until she thought Hordak's rise to fame would give her #casus belli#, lost her patience when the Mystacor leadership disagreed, etc etc etc. Pretty uncontroversial in this part, i think.

After she'd joined the Horde, when Hordak showed up with baby Adora and wanted to lump her with the rest of the orphans they have, Shadow Weaver pleaded to have her get special treatment. She even said that she's special, and it couldn't have been her leadership skills or good heart, since she didn't have either yet. It's heavily implied she could recognize her as a First One, but it's not clear why she would care, since they were known for leaving behind advanced technology, which a baby also doesn't have. Unless, of course, she knew there are devices only a First One could use, and maybe has plans related to that.

So I'm pretty sure she learned the criteria that the failsafe requires, devised some spell or technique to check people for them that she pretty much used all the time, just in case, and was very surprised when a newborn tested positive. She was also surprised when Hordak made her personally responsible for the raising of the kid, but her reaction is pretty much "ok, that could work, i guess".

Also also, i suspect she can read First One script. Not perfectly like Adora, but better than Bow's parents probably. Mostly because when she puts Adora's hand on the crystal and says "i think you know the password", that seems like a very transparent attempt to pretend she knows it too when she doesn't. But that seems irresponsible at such a crucial moment, she and Castaspella should really have researched it earlier. Or at least her line there should have been "you can read this, right?" or somesuch.

So I'm thinking it's a double bluff, hoping everybody assumes she doesn't know so she doesn't have to reveal how and why she knows, again.

And that's all i have, i think? This is not nearly as well laid out as i would like. But then, nothing ever is, right?

Also it's not even close to morning anymore. Thank you if you even got this far, and have a good evening!

hi!!! this took me a while to answer, i'm so sorry about that <3

i'm very low on energy today so i cannot summon up the brain energy to respond properly to this, as much as i want to, i'm really sorry for that as well

i love this theory!! it actually fits in really well with canon and makes, like, a LOT of sense now that i think about it. i definitely wouldn't have thought of this on my own, so thank you for sharing this with me!! :D

[littlemisssquiggles]

Is it just me or is anyone else getting slowly uncomfortable with the fact that Ruby is still trying to act like everything happen was not her fault or a result of her poor judgement. Dor example, when Penny brought up Ironwood and team RWBY's disagreement. Ruby look generally surprised that Penny was even thinking about Ironwood. It is lowkey, Team RWBY ruined that the alliance with Ironwood fell apart in the first place. Even Oscar apologized about confronting Ironwood alone. But I don't feel any ounce of sorriness from Ruby about how bad this situation has gotten. This situation ia only going to worse now that Oscar is gone. I firmly believe Penny will betray them or disappear and try to confront Salem on her own as a sacrifice but it will be futile. It just seems Team RWBY made so mistakes and lied so much...

...What I personally don’t get is why are folks (fans as well as the actual characters within the show) placing all the blame for the heroes divorce from working with the General and the Atlesian Military on Ruby Rose and Ruby Rose ONLY while ignoring the all-important that detail that it was in fact the actions of Yang Xiao Long (and by extension Blake Belladonna) that landed the group in hot water and not really what Ruby did.

Don’t get me wrong anon-chan. You are correct in the fact that Ruby’s choice to deceive the General was the first mistake the heroes made and while I agree that Ruby does deserve to be pulled up for that failed leadership choices, she isn’t the only person meant to be on trial here for the repercussions of their mistakes. Are we forgetting that the bit about the heroes choosing to lie and withhold the truth about Salem was all brought to light before the General and ironed out by Oscar?

Are we forgetting that back in RWBY V7CH9---after the others left to go assist in the evacuation down in Mantle with the Ace Ops, Oscar and Ironwood had a discussion where not only did the little prince shed light on the truth about Salem but he also explained the rationalization behind the group’s choice to withhold such information from the General for so long.

When Ironwood called out RWBY in his office in V7CH11, it wasn’t for their choice to withhold the truth about Salem---it was actually regarding how Robyn Hill learned about the Amity Project. A secret that was revealed to the Happy Huntress by Yang and Blake in V7CH7 and as far as I’m aware of, the Bees never informed the others about what they had done on the night of the ambush.

We got no scene afterwards that confirmed this (at least to my recollection). Not even during the brief meeting between RWBY and Oscar at the start of V7CH8. As far as the audience is aware, Yang and Blake acted on their own to reveal the Amity Project to the Happy Huntresses and failed to alert the others.

And in reviewing the episode where this happened (V7CH7)---I noticed that it was actually Yang who made the call to reveal the truth to Robyn since Blake looked to her for approval first before spilling the beans to Robyn. 

So essentially Yang is to be held responsible for relaying the Amity Project to the leader of the Happy Huntresses…and then choosing to not tell the rest of the team?

This is what has been bugging me about the showrunners’ choice to have Yang be the one to call out Ruby for her mistakes in leadership. This presents Yang as a hypocrite in my eyes since in my opinion, she has no right to pull up Ruby while ignoring that she herself is responsible for the group losing their alliance with the Military.

Let me say this again---it was NOT Ruby’s choice for the group to deceive the General about Salem that caused their inevitable rift. It was Yang’s choice for her and Blake to tell the Happy Huntresses about Amity. THAT is what Ironwood called RWBY out for last season. And let me also remind you of the detail that while the WHOLE team knew about Ruby’s choice, NO ONE else other than Blake knew about Yang’s (as far as I know).

So yeah, while I agree with you on your lack of sympathy towards Ruby right now since she does deserve to have her leadership questioned, at the same time, I hate that all the blame is being slapped on Ruby’s shoulders when it isn’t entirely her fault. Yang is ALSO responsible yet she gets a slap on the wrist by the PLOT. Nah son! I’m not liking this angle at all.

Ruby deserves to be called out yes, but someone NEEDS to tell off Yang too and pull her up too. From where I’m standing, both sisters screwed up and got the group in trouble. So I’d like for someone to confront Yang too and at the moment, I’m banking on it being Blake since, judging by the first episode, she didn’t look too keen on what Yang said to Ruby by calling out her leadership. Not to mention that when the teams divided, Blake sided with Ruby and NOT Yang which, to be me, is very interesting. So I’m hoping this leads to Blake standing up for Ruby in the event of another confrontation and blame game, leading to the Belladonna girl telling off Yang.

I understand the show has been “strengthening” the bond between the Bees since V6 (as a result of the story potentially leading into the two huntresses being paired up romantically) however I would have mad respect for the writers if, not only did they have Blake be the one to reprimand Yang for her poor choices but additionally if that leads into the two girls finally discussing their relationship and all the things that was left unsaid between them from seasons ago since Blake’s return.

Not saying this will occur. Just saying that if it did, I’d have nothing but mad respect for the writers for this bit of good development between the Bees.

As for Penny P---I agree with you on the possibility of Penny betraying the heroes. If her option for her to surrender over the Staff of Creation to Salem in exchange for her kingdom’s salvation wasn’t a clear as day red flag then I don’t know what is. It’s as blunt as a bullet to the foot, m’dude. 

It is very evident with her expressions and mannerisms that Penny is emotionally stunted by the tension between the two hero factions (our heroes and the Atlesian Military) with whom she shares affiliation with. It’s like watching a child suffer through their parents going through a bitter divorce and custody battle knowing fully well that things aren’t okay while simultaneously being assured that all will be well (when it isn’t and probably won’t be in the end given the tone of the opening and season thus far). Ruby and General Ironwood---the two core leaders of both hero factions---are like the dysfunctional parents in this scenario and Penny, as the party member who is linked to both of them, is being forced to choose a side. At least, that’s how it felt when Ironwood contacted Penny.

Again it’s like watching a child in a dysfunctional family where one parent is forcing them to choose between the other while ignoring the child’s feelings in this predicament. It’s all there. In this moment, Penny is like a child. Even the way she’s been talking to everyone feels more child-like and innocent than usual.

And Ironwood giving Penny the guilt trip by placing the fall of Mantle in her hands---it is such a manipulative move. I hate it for what it’s doing to Penny right now in the show but I love it at the same time for what it could eventually lead into for her character and arc later in the story.

The point I’m trying to make here is that I do think Penny will betray everyone in the end. Without a doubt. Given the beef between both sides, I feel as if we’re likely to see Penny ultimately chose to take matter into her own hands---disowning BOTH sides and choosing to do things HER way out of what SHE felt was best for EVERYONE.

In the beginning, Penny started off on Ironwood’s side with the Military (mainly) back in V7. Then in V8, she’s with RWBY and the others. However I think in the end, Penny will revoke her alliance with both sides of heroes, deeming them all unfit to lead and help anyone right now; essentially holding their current squabble accountable for the tragedies of both Atlas and Mantle (which…she wouldn’t be wrong for saying).

And thus, this will culminate in Penny doing the very, very stupid---I mean gullible thing she said she would do. The thing everyone warned her not to do. For this squiggle meister’s perspective, I’m anticipating that Penny will probably betray RWBN to side with Ironwood just so she can be given access to the Staff of Creation in the Vault of the Winter Maiden. Then once the Staff in revealed, Penny will then betray Ironwood and take the Staff to Salem as a bargaining chip for Atlas’ salvation.

From here, she will either be destroyed again---killed on the spot with the Winter Maiden powers going straight to Cinder or…who knows, maybe there’ll be another twist in there where Penny is kept alive to be made into Salem’s Maiden of Magic in place of Cinder Fall who she’ll probably end up punishing yet again for her insolence (since we’re probably going to see Cinder defy Salem again due to her greed). Or perhaps…Penny 2.0 has always been a pawn of Salem since her rebirth and has been unknowingly playing our heroes---both sides---like a fiddle since the get-go. Or something like that. That’s how I’m seeing it. But this is just my thoughts on that.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)

[bestworstcase]

in the wake of once a handmaiden i’ve seen a few posts drawing comparisons between the final shot of cass in the ruined throne room and either (1) varian at the end of queen for a day or (2) varian and the saporians in the throne room mid-rapunzel’s return. which... sure, i guess, but to me both of those feel a bit superficial, as parallels go. they’re like the “hu hu hu gothel said ‘now i’m the bad guy’ and so did cass (but the context and meaning is completely different)!” of comparing varian’s villain arc to cassandra’s SO INSTEAD!—

the plot of handmaiden is best understood, imo, as kind of moral argument between cassandra and zhan tiri. cassandra’s side of the argument is “i am not a bad person; i did bad things, but i can fix it.” zhan tiri’s side of the argument is “you can try to fix it, but you will fail, because just like me, you are a bad person.” cass pursues a convoluted plan to “fix” things that involves very low risk to her (and also in no way addresses the bad things she has actually done) because she is, deep down, afraid that zhan tiri is right. all zhan tiri has to do is coax that fear to the surface, then gently place her thumb on the scale to ensure that the fear becomes reality, to make cassandra snap, thus “winning” the argument. 

when cassandra exclaims “zhan tiri was right!” after breaking free from the amber, she’s talking about the existence of project obsidian, but subtextually, she’s also talking about this argument. that’s is why the next thing out of cassandra’s mouth is “you want me to be the bad guy? fine. i’m the bad guy.” using zhan tiri’s potion against rapunzel and taking over corona is cass lashing out in rage, yes, but it also has an edge of defeat: zhan tiri is right, cass is a bad person.

thus, this final shot with her in the destroyed throne room of corona is not a triumphant moment; it’s grim, and dark, and she sits heavily and hunched over in her stolen throne. this is cass at what i would argue is her lowest, most miserable moment thus far. here, cassandra has achieved everything she’s worked for this entire season: she has total control over the moonstone’s power, she has usurped rapunzel’s destiny, brought corona to its knees, and claimed her throne. she has her power. she’s won—but she’s still angry, still hurting, still lost, and now that she knows who her “friend” is, she’s beginning to understand the ways she’s been (figuratively) imprisoned and (literally) manipulated and thus controlled, and the worst part? she has wholly accepted that she is a bad person, that she can’t escape from being a bad person, and the only thing left for her to do is embrace it no matter how awful it makes her feel.

she has never been more powerful, or more trapped.

NOW LET’S TALK PARALLELS!

in this scene at the end of tangled: before ever after, rapunzel faces her father’s wrath and disappointment. her coronation was crashed by a group of criminals who wanted to kidnap everyone in attendance, including her father, and rapunzel beat them soundly and saved everybody. instead of celebrating her accomplishments, however, all frederic can see is the danger she is in: because her famous magical hair is returned, and because she threw herself into a high-stakes battle against his express commands. he demands an explanation that she can’t offer fully (because she has to lie about cassandra’s involvement in the black rock adventure, in order to protect her friend from being forcibly sent to a convent), then doubles down on “protecting” her by controlling where she goes and what she does, literally imprisoning her in her own home.

like cass at the end of handmaiden, rapunzel’s victory earlier in the day should have been a moment of triumph, as a culmination of everything she longed for at the beginning of BEA: freedom, excitement, the ability to live according to her personal values and truths. instead, it’s soured and becomes a source of misery.

and, just as cass’s hollow victory at the end of handmaiden is visually represented by the framing, so too is rapunzel’s. in both shots, the throne room is in ruins and looks dark, cold, and unwelcoming, and cass and rapunzel are both dwarfed by the enormity of the room. but there are also a few key differences:

in the handmaiden shot, the camera looks straight into the throne room, making the set symmetrical save for where the black rocks and rubble have disrupted the order of the room, and cassandra is positioned in the exact center. this emphasizes the power cassandra has over this situation. fundamentally, this misery is something she did to herself. zhan tiri has never forced her to do anything; manipulated situations, twisted facts, and blatantly lied to persuade her, yes, but even so, every step cassandra has taken along the road to razing corona is one she took of her own volition. she isn’t intrinsically bad; she does have a choice.

whereas in the BEA shot, the camera is set at a slight angle and places the tiara in the center of the shot such that it separates rapunzel from frederic. rapunzel isn’t trapped by her own hopelessness, as cassandra is; frederic’s authority is real, and the conflict between them hinges on his overprotectiveness and the expectations and responsibilities of rule, both represented by the tiara (this symbolism continues through the rest of the scene; when fred confines rapunzel to corona and orders her not to speak to the black rocks to anyone, he hands her the tiara. it’s a physical symbol of the weight of his authority). while the handmaiden shot establishes that cass is sitting in a deep, dark pit of her own making, the BEA shot shows the precarious balance of rapunzel’s relationship with her father, the authority he has over her, and foreshadows his role as the major antagonist of the season.*

(*varian is the villain of season one, but fred is the antagonist in the sense that he is the primary obstacle preventing rapunzel, the protagonist, from achieving her goals.)

further, the BEA shot is much brighter than the handmaiden shot, with lots of moonlight pouring in through the windows and the side door and the polished floor reflecting it back while in the handmaiden shot, the entire room is in shadow save for a tiny beam of moonlight filtering through a broken window pane. the comparative brightness of the BEA shot reflects the comparatively lower stakes (rapunzel is being confined against her will, but the kingdom is not in immediate danger, and rapunzel has friends/allies whom she can rely on for emotional comfort, whereas in handmaiden the kingdom is literally in ruins and cassandra has driven away everybody but her emotional support demon). at the same time, the handmaiden shot is not entirely without hope: that last, lonely beam of light falls through the window and lands directly on cass, symbolizing that she is not past the point of no return. 

lastly, comparing these two shots side by side is interesting because they can represent the broader conflict between rapunzel and cassandra. rapunzel struggles against external forces that seek to confine her or steer her in directions she doesn’t want to go, and most of the time she comes out victorious (by the end of s1, the clash with her father set up in the BEA shot is resolved with him encouraging her to leave corona and find her destiny). in contrast, cassandra’s struggle has always been internal: she is fighting her self-doubt, her fear of abandonment, her inability to believe that she is loved, her discontent with her station, and her tragedy is that she keeps trying to fix this internal problem with external solutions, and failing because she is applying a bandaid to a hemorrhage. and the end result is that she is left like this: sitting on a broken throne, in the ruins of a palace, in the dark, completely alone, with nothing.

BUT WE’RE NOT DONE YET!

let’s talk about varian. 

varian’s villain arc and eventual redemption gets compared to cassandra’s a lot, and that makes sense because there are some obvious similarities. they’re both friends of rapunzel who eventually become frustrated with her, blame her for their problems, and lash out violently out of anger. however, i would argue that in spite of this, they are much more different than they are similar, and to talk about why we’re going to talk about the real parallel between varian and the handmaiden shot. and that’s this:

this shot, when varian is being dragged away by the guards in the middle of queen for a day, does not take place in corona’s throne room, but it has the exact same visual symbolism as both the handmaiden and BEA shots. varian is made insignificantly small in the enormous but somehow still claustrophobic halls of the palace, and the lighting is dark and cold to reflect the emotional mood of the scene. he is rendered powerless visually (he’s minuscule compared to rapunzel, who occupies fully a third of the shot and is the character with all the power in this scene) as well as literally (because he is being dragged away by two guards who are twice his size). 

and, like both cass and rapunzel in the handmaiden and BEA shots, a moment that should have been triumphant for varian—he finally made it to the palace after a grueling journey through a deadly snowstorm, and he found the one person who might be able to save his father!—goes horribly wrong, and he’s reduced to begging frantically for rapunzel’s help while the guards drag him away from her and, back home, his father dies.*

(*of course, quirin does not actually die, but varian has no way of knowing that a year and a half from now, rapunzel will be able to safely release his father from the amber. for purposes of this analysis, quirin is effectively dead.)

ANYHOW. the key difference between this shot and the handmaiden shot is that for varian, this moment of powerlessness is a) not in any way his fault and b) happening at the very beginning of varian’s descent into villainy, rather than at the end or very close to the end.

this scene sets the rest of varian’s villain arc in motion. his agency is taken from him at a critical moment, preventing him from fixing a horrible mistake that cost his father’s life. instead of collapsing and being eaten alive by his own guilt, varian funnels his anguish into rage directed at rapunzel, who is easier to blame than himself (especially because he is fourteen and doesn’t grasp that rapunzel did make the correct choice when she refused to leave corona). this blame and anger is exacerbated by rapunzel’s inaction after the storm; in failing to check up on him, she leaves varian to fester in resentment until he finally just snaps. 

like rapunzel in the BEA shot, varian is up against an external force (rapunzel) preventing him from achieving his goal of saving his father, and his villain arc is a kind of counterpoint to rapunzel’s s1 struggle against her father; they both fight back against their antagonists, she against fred and he against her, but varian does so in a violent, destructive way and thus ultimately fails to achieve his goal; rapunzel by comparison fights back by asserting her independence and relying on her friends/allies to help her, and ultimately achieves her goal by persuading fred to see her as a capable individual rather than an object to be guarded. 

like cass, varian lacks rapunzel’s extensive support network; he spends his villain arc alone, stewing in his resentment and guilt, spiraling deeper and deeper until he is unrecognizable as the innocent boy he used to be.

unlike cass, however, varian has a clearly-defined, straightforward external goal: he wants to free his father and punish rapunzel for her inaction. as i discussed earlier, cassandra by contrast is trying to fix an internal problem with external measures, which is why her villain arc is so much messier and more complicated than varian’s, and why it has been driven partly by cassandra falling victim to the manipulations of a demon who keeps passing her concrete goals to pursue with the promise that achieving them will fix her problem.

and this is why varian’s handmaiden parallel happens at the beginning of his villain arc while the handmaiden shot occurs at the end or very close to the end of cassandra’s: the QfaD shot is varian’s inciting incident, but the handmaiden shot is cassandra’s end result. 

in the QfaD and BEA shots, varian and rapunzel both have choices taken from them, and everything they do from this point onwards is driven by their drive to fix that injustice. but in the handmaiden shot, cassandra has given up on her ability to choose, and this comes at the end of a long, self-destructive road. unlike varian, whose villain arc hinges on an external problem with an obvious, clear-cut solution (save his father), cassandra’s villain arc hinges on an internal problem (she is unhappy, anxious, and hurting) with no real answer, and because she is unable to seek comfort from her friends (who have spent a year not treating her well in general) and rapunzel specifically (because rapunzel doesn’t hear her when she voices her pain, and because a lot of her pain is connected to or outright caused* by rapunzel), she clings to the first source of emotional validation and comfort she encounters—which happens to be an ancient, evil being who’s really just using cass as a means to an end, and who keeps telling cass, “if you do this bad thing, you will fulfill your destiny (and your pain will stop).” and cass, because she doesn’t know how to fix her problem, and because zhan tiri starts with small, palatable ideas like stealing the moonstone, swallows this hook, line, and sinker.

 (*to be completely clear, the pain rapunzel caused stems from their argument in the great tree, cassandra’s subsequent horrific injury, and the way rapunzel blamed cass for everything that went wrong in the tree. i am not talking about gothel’s abandonment.)

all of which is a somewhat long-winded way of saying varian’s villain arc and cassandra’s villain arc are not really comparable, because varian’s involves him turning to extreme, violent, desperate measures to save his father, while cassandra’s involves a self-destructive downward spiral exacerbated by the machinations of a demon, and the timing of when these parallel shots in QfaD and handmaiden occur in their respective villain arcs perfectly encapsulates that difference.

[isagrimorie]

13 for the meme!

for the meme

Why I like them and Why I don’t 

I’m going to put the two questions together here. I really love Thirteen because of how I think she’s a wonderful progression and development from Twelve with all the positivity and cons that comes with it. 

She’s trying so hard to be better than she was, learned all about the things that held them back like the propensity to run away from endings and learning to accept (again) that everything has its time and everything ends. 

But also, she’s running so far ahead trying to take ten steps forward that she’s running straight into the very mistakes she’s trying to avoid making, largely because she hasn’t processed her traumas about what happened to Bill Potts and really how furious the Doctor was with the Master for being the direct cause of Bill turning into a Cyberman. 

Probably even subconsciously (and wrongly) thinking that Bill Potts would have been better off if the Doctor as Twelve did remove Bill’s memories then Bill wouldn’t have suffered and converted. 

She’s trying to be open and upfront about the dangers of her life to the Companions, and yet at the same time, hiding herself from her new friends. Running headlong to become their shield that she doesn’t realize that if she’s taken out of the equation she hasn’t prepared them enough to face the enemies and dangers she tries to shield them from. 

And how much she relishes having worthy opponents to battle with, the Doctor might hate that she has to fight the Master but also there’s no denying how alive and electric she was when dancing toe to toe with the Master. 

Actually, I made a whole vid about what I think about the Thirteenth Doctor 

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Right now, it’s a toss-up between Fugitive of the Judoon, and Haunting of Villa Diodati

Favorite season/movie

Definitely series 12. 

Favorite line

It’s not kind but damn this line: “Yeah. ‘Cause sometimes this team structure isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me at the summit in the stratosphere, alone, left to choose. Save the poet, save the universe. Watch people burn now or tomorrow. Sometimes, even I can't win.” 

A 100% had chills but also because hands down proof she can deliver powerful speeches with the best of ‘em. 

Favorite outfit

Thirteen in Twelve’s suit

Thirteen in the tux

Thirteen in the long sleeved jumper of angst 

Thirteen wearing that waistcoat in Haunting of Villa Diodati

OTP

Truly, honestly, the Doctor and the TARDIS. They’ll still be together long after everyone (rightly) steps off and return to their lives. 

Brotp

All her friends... such as Thirteen allows it. This Doctor has real trouble allowing herself to be close to anyone. 

Head Canon

She is the culmination for good or ill of all of the Doctor’s experiences as Twelve. 

Unpopular opinion

The Timeless Child does not, actually, make the Doctor into a godlike super being ala Cartmel Masterplan. IMO, this is better and it actually made the Doctor more relatable but also didn’t really change anything about the First Doctor. 

The First Doctor is still the first among version that called themselves the Doctor, the reason why they ran away is still a mystery, and the reason why the Doctor is trying to be good and better is because of Barbara and Ian. Two Humans they kidnapped and ended up with a lifelong love for Humanity as a whole. 

A wish

I have enjoyed the Doctor being lowkey after the bravura of Ten and Eleven but boy do I wish for a moment like in Flatline. I want one where Thirteen is the unequivocal winner after making an effort to reach out but was rebuffed and have her declare, “I am the Doctor.” and have an awesome moment as Twelve did in Flatline. 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

She’s the Doctor, eventually a lot of ‘oh god please don’t’ will happen and it’s inevitable. But mostly, I don’t want any of her Companions die on her. This happened with Twelve and it broke the Doctor. (’Can’t I just rest?’). 

5 words to best describe them

Loyal, brave, fighter, grin, nutter 

My nickname for them

Erm. Thirteen, the Doctor, Doc. And not Mrs Doctor! 

(It’s an unfortunate thing but I really am boring about this -- whatever is canon I stick with). 

[babyboy-bangtan]

By Chance Chapters 5-8

A misunderstanding gone viral puts you on BTS’s radar, which leads to a series of events that finally culminate with you meeting them for the first time.

✚ Pairing: Sub!BTS/Female Reader ✚ Word Count: 4.9K ✚ Rating: M ✚ Warnings: Reader mentions having been told to kill herself on the internet. ✚ A/N: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Read on AO3 / Chapters 1-4

Chapter 5: Hoseok, Taehyung & Namjoon

To no one's surprise, Jungkook is once again watching one of your movies after they had dinner. It's almost begun to feel like a routine; unless it's his turn to clean up, Jungkook just plops down and starts watching with his earphones on, and very often it's a movie he's already seen. He says it's because he doesn't want to go through your movies too fast, and this way he can enjoy them as much as possible.

"I don't think he has that many things left to watch of her." Namjoon says, looking over his shoulder at Jungkook sitting cross legged on the couch staring attentively at his phone with his earphones on, completely oblivious to the fact that he's their topic of conversation.

"He'll be upset once he's done." Hoseok adds, cleaning the table with a rag as Taehyung picks up up the takeout containers. "He has a crush."

"Well, she's very pretty." Taehyung comments absentmindedly, throwing the containers in the trash. Namjoon shares a look with Hoseok, both rising their eyebrows with a smile. "I saw one of her movies last year."

"I knew her only from the perfume commercials. She looked beautiful in them." Hoseok says, washing the rag on the sink. "I can't remember if it was Dior or Givenchy... I think it was Dior..." He whispers mostly to himself as Jin walks into the kitchen, freshly showered and dressed for bed already.

"Who do you know from the perfume commercials?" He asks, opening the fridge.

"[Y/N]." Hoseok replies casually as he washes his hands. "Jungkook is watching another one of her movies." He points to the couch where Jungkook has shifted positions, wrapping a blanket around himself that makes him look like a human tent. "Aww, so cute." Hoseok says, smiling at the youngest.

"Ah." Jin replies, grabbing a bottle and leaving without saying anything else.

"What's gotten into him?" Taehyung asks, staring at the place where Jin was a moment ago suspiciously. 

"Who knows?" Namjoon replies, shrugging his shoulders.

Jin is known for having his moments, so he's pretty sure it’s not a big deal. It's likely he's a bit fed up with Jungkook's crush on you; he keeps bringing you up whenever he has a chance, and sharing little fun facts about you he's picked up from all the interviews he's watched. To Namjoon it's very cute, but he wouldn't be surprised if Jin is tired of it already— mainly because Jungkook's attention has been diverted almost entirely to you, and Jin doesn't particularly enjoy when that happens.

There's probably nothing to worry about, but just in case he'll wait a bit to see if this passes. And if it doesn't, Jin will have to open up about what he's feeling and talk to them, eventually.

Chapter 6: Yoongi

Even though he tries, Yoongi can't hold back a smile as he watches Jungkook get everything ready for his movie marathon. Yoongi can't remember which movies he's going to see, but he does remember you starred in the sequel of something and Jungkook never watched the first part, because you weren't it. But a couple days ago, he saw in an old interview that you said watching the first one was important to understand your character, so he decided to correct that and watch the first part once and for all. And then rewatch the second part, again.

He explained this situation to everyone in great detail. 

"Hyung, do you want to watch with me?" Jungkook yells at him, still preparing his snacks and drinks on the table. Yoongi smiles at him but shakes his head.

"Another day. I have some work to do." He ruffles Jungkook's hair teasingly as he walks past him on his way to his room.

Most of the reason he refused is that he has to work, that wasn't a lie— but another reason is that Yoongi knows very well what Jungkook is like when he gets someone to watch one of your movies that he's already watched himself. If he hasn't watched it yet, there's no problem; he'll be laser-focused on the movie and most likely won't say a word until it's done. But if he has watched it already, he'll constantly tell whoever has joined him to pay attention when a scene he likes is coming, or he'll scold them if they're not being as attentive as he thinks they should be.

Yoongi likes to enjoy movies peacefully, so that particular environment isn't his favorite. He'll watch one of your movies with Jungkook when it's one he hasn't seen beforehand, which might take a little while to happen considering Jungkook has bulldozed through your entire filmography already.

As he closes the door to his room, he hears Jungkook calling for Jimin to join him, which Yoongi is sure he will do. Jimin seems to be the most likely to agree to watch any content related to you, so he's not worried about Jungkook being upset at him for refusing his request.

To tell the truth, Yoongi is still a bit perplexed about Jungkook's sudden fascination with you. After the thing where people thought you'd met them went viral, Jungkook watched one video of you and then another and then another, and soon enough he made his way through everything you've ever been in.

Now he's just rewatching all your movies, while he awaits the upcoming Netflix movie you recently finished shooting. A couple days ago, if he remembers correctly. Jungkook likes keep them all updated.

Jungkook insists you're sweet and kind and so beautiful and nice, and Yoongi simply can't tell him that what he has a crush on is just an idealized version of yourself, that he can't truly know you through videos and interviews. At least he can't tell him yet; because if this infatuation persists Yoongi will bring him back to reality. Jungkook knows very well what it's like to have people crush on you and decide you're perfect because you're only showing them your likeable side, and he has to understand that's what he's doing with you, too.

After hitting an annoying slump in his work, Yoongi spins around in his chair, feeling the stress starting to build up. He can hear the very faint sound of Jungkook watching his movie and after giving it a moment of thought, he pulls out his phone out of his pocket.

Youtube.

He quickly types “[Y/N] interview” and hits search.

He scrolls a little until one catches his eye, because it says it was uploaded just 8 hours ago. He wonders if Jungkook already watched it, which is very likely, but it’s also possible he didn’t because he tends to inform everyone when there’s a new interview you did for him to watch. He puts his earphones on and thinks "fuck it" because he wants to see for himself what Jungkook has been so obsessed with.

It's a 19 minutes long filmed radio interview, but Yoongi figures he only needs to listen to a couple minutes of it to get a feel of what you're about. If it starts out boring, he'll just skip until there’s something interesting. It's even possible that people in the comments have already put on the timestamps of the best moments, and he won't even have to do any work for himself.

“[Y/N], welcome! I’m so happy you could join us this morning.” The host says, and Yoongi quickly notices he has an amazing voice.

“Thank you.” You say politely, smiling. “I’m happy to be here.” “So, you have a new movie coming to Netflix soon—” Yoongi fast forwards a few minutes, because he does not need to know more about that movie than he already does. Jungkook is so excited about it, he’s shared every single detail there is to know about it with him and the others.

“—around 2014, right?” The hosts says, looking a bit more serious.

“Yeah, around the end of the year. It was my first big—” You make quotes with your fingers and roll your eyes, even though the people listening wouldn’t be able to see you. “—movie role and I got like 800 thousand new followers on Instagram in 2 days. At first it felt amazing, it really did, but when a lot of good comes your way, bad is bound to come as well.” You sigh, and Yoongi notices you suddenly look tired. He goes back around 1 minute, trying to find when you started talking about this. He wants to know where what you’re saying comes from.

“They do! You can see some videos of me on the official Instagram account for the movie.” You say with a smile.

“Because you’re not on social media anymore.” The host adds, like it’s a well-known fact. Jungkook has probably mentioned it before but Yoongi truly doesn't remember, so that caught him by surprise.

“Yup. Been clean for a few years now.” You joke, and all the people at the table laugh. Even Yoongi cracks a tiny smile.

“You’ve talked about this in the past, how you quit because it got too toxic. So, that was around 2014, right?” Someone else asks, and you nod.

Yoongi ponders for a second if he should fast forward what he’s already seen, but ultimately decides not to. It’s different to watch it now that he knows where the conversation is coming from. He patiently waits for you to say everything he’s already heard, paying more attention this time.

“There were a lot of negative comments at the time, was that it?” The host asks, and you raise your eyebrows, huffing.

“You could say that.” You say sarcastically. “A group of people were very, very angry when I was cast for my second movie. Since it was based on a book, they said I wasn’t what they had imagined and they made sure to let me know it.” You shake your head. “It was bad when I was cast, but when the first trailer came out it got worse. It was hard to deal with because I’d never gone through something similar before. I had only done one indie film and one episode of CSI. That was it. And all of a sudden I have comments on every single thing I post saying that my acting sucks and I should just quit. Some people even told me I should kill myself.” You pause for a second as the people around you shake their heads, visibly disappointed. “Those were the least, but it’s still jarring to see people wishing that on you.”

Yoongi gasps, pausing the video. For some reason he hadn’t considered something like that happening to you, at all. That’s not the kind of thing about you Jungkook shares; he shares your favorite things, stories you’ve told about your costars or meeting other famous people, but not this. He never shares anything negative like this. He wonders why, even though part of him thinks it’s because Jungkook doesn’t feel comfortable sharing something that feels this personal. 

He takes a couple seconds before hitting play again.

“So one day I just said screw this, and decided to delete all my social media. I posted a goodbye letter to my fans first explaining the situation and left it up for like an hour before I deleted everything. The only way you’ll see me on social media is through promotional stuff or on some friends’ accounts.” Your tone shifts on this part; it becomes more cheerful, but Yoongi has been on your side of the story enough times to know you’re just deflecting, and this is something that still bothers you.

He gets it.

It bothers him, too.

“And then you won several awards for that role.” The host says with a laugh, successfully lightening the mood.

“Yep, I did.” You say, laughing as well.

The interview moves on to other topics, much more light-hearted than the previous one, but even though Yoongi ends up watching the entire video, that one thing manages to stick to his mind like a magnet. He feels a bit ashamed that he dismissed you, that he didn’t consider that you’re a celebrity too and your life is bound to be hard as well, even if the ways you deal with that status are different from the ways he and the others have to deal with their own. Jungkook always being so happy when he shares things about you made Yoongi make the mistake of thinking he had you figured out, but now he realizes he actually doesn’t really know anything about you.

He sighs, covering his face with his hands before moving them up and running them through his hair, messing it up completely.

As of right now, there's an new, annoying feeling at the pit of his stomach, an annoying feeling that makes Yoongi want to know more about you.

Thanks a lot, Jungkook.

Chapter 7: After

Timotheé is staring at you with a very cute smile on his face, which can only mean one thing.

He wants something.

"What now?" You ask, sighing.

“Can I have some of that, please?” He asks as you sip your coffee, resting his chin on your shoulder and hugging your waist while you eye him suspiciously. You know he’s tired, but it’s only been a few minutes since you were given the cups. How fast did he drink his?

“Where’s yours?” You ask, staring down at his empty hands.

“I finished it.” He grins. “Pleeease, I’m sleepy.” You roll your eyes and give him your cup, and he kisses your cheek in response before releasing you to take it from your hand.

“Thank you!”

“It’s not free!” You say immediately, watching him gulp down the rest of your drink. “You’ll have to get me another one later.” He nods, still drinking. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Not really.” He says, rolling his shoulders with a grimace. “I’m still jetlagged as fuck.”

“Come here.” You move him in front of you to start massaging his shoulders, and his knees go weak when you do. “Timmy! Work with me here, man. Try to stay up.” You joke, and he laughs.

“Sorry, sorry.” He apologizes, looking back at you for a second before bowing his head forward. “Thank you so— ah—much.”

“This feels like it’s turning erotic real fast.” You tease him, but you don’t stop rubbing his shoulders. You don’t see his face, but you’d bet anything he’s as red as a tomato. He gets shy immediately when you make that kind of comments, it’s adorable.

“Shut uhhh— up.” He laughs, smacking your side lightly with his hand, not turning around.

“I’m not the one moaning—”

“Guys, come on. It’s time to start. Let’s go.” Your publicist approaches you both, pointing at the direction you’re supposed to go to.

“Coming!” You say, giving Timotheé a couple pats on the back before pushing him forward. “Time to work, mister.” He groans in response, but walks ahead of you nonetheless.

Once you’re both seated and ready, the people behind the cameras start giving you instructions on what to do. It's not really hard to keep up, and since you've both watched previous interviews of this type you already know what you're in for.

“So I say my name, she says her name, and then it’s one word each and we finish together.” Timotheé asks for clarification one last time. The producers nod and you give them a thumbs up.

“And… go.”

“Hey, I’m Timotheé Chalamet.”

“And I’m [Y/N]. And this is the—”

“Wired—”

“Autocomplete—”

“Interview.” You both finish in unison.

Chapter 8: The Interview

Namjoon smiles fondly at Jungkook, who is sleepily eating his breakfast with his eyes half open and his hair sticking up everywhere. He'd spent the most part of the previous night sulking, because he has to wait until Sunday to be able to sit down to watch your new movie without interruptions. Thankfully, once they all promised to join him in a movie night he became excited once again. Seeing him sad makes everyone else immediately sad as well; he always does his best to cheer them up and make them laugh, so it’s their job to do the same for him whenever they can.

Jungkook’s phone vibrates and he casually looks at the screen, seeing that a new interview you did has been uploaded. He’s familiar with this type, it’s the one where people answer things based on Google searches. He grabs his phone and gets ready to start watching it, that is until he sees the thumbnail and chokes on his food.

“Jungkook! Are you okay?” Namjoon asks worriedly, leaving his mug on the table and walking up to him. Jungkook nods, drinking milk to unclog his throat.

“Look, Hyung.” He rasps, handing him his phone. Namjoon grabs it from his hand and it takes him a moment to process what he’s seeing.

It’s a video of you, that’s unsurprising.

[Y/N] & Timotheé Chalamet Answer the Web’s Most Searched Questions | WIRED

It’s not until he takes notice of the Google search bar on the thumbnail that he realizes what made Jungkook react like that.

Did [Y/N] Did [Y/N] get married Did [Y/N] work in Criminal Minds When did [Y/N] meet BTS

Apparently, Namjoon takes too long staring at the phone because Jungkook snatches it from his hands and immediately presses play.

“What happened?” Jimin asks, walking into the room already dressed.

“Jungkook lost it because [Y/N] talked about us in a new interview, apparently.” Namjoon responds, shrugging his shoulders. He can hear you introducing yourself in the video.

Jimin’s mouth forms an “o” shape and he places himself behind Jungkook to watch the video as well, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“What did she say?” He asks the youngest, noticing Timotheé is the one answering questions about himself right now.

“I haven’t gotten to that part yet.” Jungkook answers, trying with all his might to not fast forward the video until your part begins. It’s a 15 minutes long video, and something tells him they will have left that question for the final part.

The questions you answer about yourself are mostly things Jungkook already knows but you're elaborating on, or other new little details about your life.

He checks to see how much is left of the video during Timotheé’s turn, and it’s not much. He’s sure after this come the last Google searches for you, and his heart starts beating a little faster.

“Okay, did [Y/N]…” You say, grabbing the board and placing it over your lap. “Did [Y/N] go to college?”  You say, ripping off the white paper.

“She did!”  Timotheé responds first, seemingly excited. 

“What are you guys doing?” Hoseok asks, entering the kitchen, but both Jungkook and Jimin shush him at the same time.

“That's true.”  You say in the video. “NYU, baby! I majored in Film and Television. Okay, next one.”

“[Y/N] spoke about us in an interview.” Namjoon explains to him in a whisper, and Hoseok raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“Did [Y/N] get married?”  You read, and Timotheé bursts out laughing next to you.“I honestly don’t know what possessed enough people to ask this so it is one of the most searched things but no, I did not get married.”  The video cuts to the next question, and Jungkook’s nervousness increases by the second.

“Did [Y/N] work in Criminal Minds?”  You say. “I did not. I did, however, work in another famous crime show you might have heard of called CSI. I played a girl who was into BDSM and got arrested for murdering her boyfriend. Spoiler alert: She didn't do it. But if you want to know who did, just watch the episode.”

“What?!”  Timotheé exclaims, looking honestly shocked. “You were on CSI?” You stare at him, looking very offended.

“How do you not know this?! It was my first role ever!”  You cry out.

“Do you know what my first role ever was?”  Timotheé retorts, staring at you. You look away and stare at nothing for a couple seconds, and Jungkook can’t help but laugh at your reaction. He hears Jimin snickering as well.

“Let's move on to the next question.” You say, making Timotheé laugh again.

You pull the white paper covering it, and there it is.

“When did [Y/N] meet BTS?”

“You met BTS? What else do I not know about you?” Timotheé says before you can respond.

“Okay, here’s the thing. I did not meet BTS, but there is a whole story behind why people thought I did.”

“Please share it.”  Timotheé urges you, crossing his arms with a smile.

“You know, this actually happened while we were filming.”  You tell him, and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “So, what happened was that someone uploaded some of the extras of one of my movies to YouTube, and they just named the video [Y/N] BTS. They meant it like [Y/N] Behind the Scenes, but some people thought it meant it was a video of me with, you know, the group BTS and then someone made a joke about it and that tweet went viral. I remember we were getting our makeup done and my friend texted me, and she sent me like screenshots of this tweet with thousands of likes. I thought it was very funny that it was all a huge misunderstanding, honestly.”

For some reason, Jungkook hadn’t considered the fact that you could also know what had happened with the video. It’s like he assumed you might have heard about it, but he didn’t think you’d know the details about it or that you cared about it enough to know.

“So you haven’t met BTS?”

“Tragically, I haven’t.”  You respond, and Jungkook gasps. Does that mean you’d like to meet them? “I wish I had, but alas, here we are.”

The video continues a little bit longer, but Jungkook is rooted to the spot even after it ends. When he finally looks up, he sees Namjoon and Hoseok trying to hold back smiles.

“Did she say…” He manages to croak out, throat dry.

“That she wants to meet you? Yeah.” Namjoon teases, sharing a look with Hoseok.

“She said she wants to meet all of us!” Jimin objects, standing up straight and looking slightly offended. “Not just Jungkook, she said BTS.” He emphasizes the last word, making it clear that he’s also included in the group of people you want to meet.

“Who wants to meet us?” Yoongi asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he enters the kitchen, with Taehyung and Jin right behind him.

“[Y/N]!” Jungkook exclaims, playing the video for the three of them, from the moment you start replying to the question about BTS.

“Well, I doubt we’ll meet her.” Yoongi says absent-mindedly once you’re done talking. Namjoon gives him a disbelieving look, and Yoongi quickly amends what he said. “For now, I mean. We have a lot of things to do here and we won’t be visiting America for a while. But I’m sure it’ll happen soon.” Jungkook smiles at him, but Yoongi knows he’s not as excited as he was a moment ago and he feels really guilty for taking that away from him.

“I’m gonna go take a shower.” Jin says suddenly, leaving the room.

“Is there something wrong with him?” Jungkook asks the rest, his shoulders falling down. “He acts weird when I show him stuff of her.”

“I have no clue.” Hoseok responds, while the others shrug their shoulders. 

Except for Namjoon.

He confirmed that Jin's weird behavior appeared every single time Jungkook did so much as mention your name a couple weeks ago, and he's been waiting for him to come clean to them and tell them what's happening on his terms, but he can't give him more time. Jungkook already noticed and it seems like it has started making him upset, which will throw off their entire dynamic even more than Jin acting off already has been doing.

While the others eat their breakfast and Jungkook calls his mom to tell her that you mentioned him in an interview, Namjoon patiently waits for Jin to be done with his shower, so he can get him alone and finally confront him about what's been going on with him.

Once Jin enters his room, Namjoon follows right after, closing the door behind him.

"What's going on with you?" He asks in a low voice, walking up to Jin. "Why are you acting like this?"

"What are you talking about?" Jin asks, pretending to be confused. If it weren't for the fact that Namjoon knows him so well and that he knows for a fact that something is wrong, he wouldn't be able to tell that he's faking it. 

"You have a problem with Jungkook liking [Y/N]. You're making it more and more obvious every day. It's making him upset." Namjoon gets straight to the point, because he has no idea how much time he has until someone comes in and interrupts them, and if that happens he knows Jin will get out of the conversation.

Jin is good at hiding his emotions, but not good enough to hide the flash of nervousness on his face when Namjoon says that.

"That's not—"

"I knew it." Namjoon interrupts him. "But why? We've never even met her, why don't you like her?"

"It's not that I don't like her—"

"Then what is it? Because it's obviously something, and that something is making Jungkook sad because you know how much he loves sharing what he likes with us. You have to tell us what's the problem because—" 

"I used to masturbate to her!" Jin whisper-screams, his ears immediately turning red. In any other circumstances, Namjoon's current face would be hilarious, but right now it only serves as a reminder to Jin that he actually is as dirty and gross as he's been feeling all this time.

"You—  I— When—" Namjoon stammers, completely at a loss for words.

Jin's shoulders fall and he sits down on his bed, holding his head on his hands.

"I know it's horrible, you don't have to tell me."

Namjoon scratches the back of his neck and walks up to the bed, sitting down next to Jin. He places a hand on his back and gives him a few pats, trying to comfort him as much as he can considering how shocked he currently is. Out of all the reasons he had imagined that were the cause of Jin's behavior, that he felt ashamed for jerking off to you was definitely not one of them.

"When did you... you know..." Namjoon pries, and Jin groans before burying his face between his knees. His ears are darker than Namjoon has ever seen them.

"Years ago. It was her CSI episode. I didn't even know she was a famous actress now."

Namjoon does the math quickly in his head, because if he remembers correctly what Jungkook said and what he managed to hear in the interview he was just watching, CSI was your first job, back in 2013.

That's a long time ago.

"Jin-Hyung..." He says, but all he gets in response is another embarrassed groan. "Okay, look at me." No movement. "Hyung, come on."

"I know it's gross." Jin says, lifting his head up and looking mortified. "And now Jungkook is obsessed with her and what if we actually do meet her one day?"

"Hyung... This happened years ago."

"And?"

"And we've all done stuff like that! I have! Everyone has!"

Before Jin can say anything, Yoongi enters the room, but he quickly closes the door behind him when he sees the state Jin is in.

"What's going on?" He asks, walking up to them and sitting on a chair. "Are you okay?"

"I can't say it again." Jin groans, burying his head on his hands once again. "You tell him." Namjoon sighs, but does as told.

"He used to jerk off to [Y/N]'s episode of CSI." Yoongi snorts, but quickly covers his mouth when Namjoon glares at him.

"I'm sorry. So that's what got you acting so weird? Jin-Hyung, come on. It's not that bad." Yoongi says, squeezing Jin's shoulder. 

"You know it's only a matter of time before we meet her, right? What am I supposed to do then?" Jin says, looking at him with an embarrassed frown.

"Okay." Yoongi says, rolling his eyes. "I've met several people I used to masturbate to. It happens. I don't do it anymore, and that's fine. Besides, what makes you think she hasn't done it as well? She's famous and she's American. Everyone masturbates to American actors."

"I'm not sure you're helping." Namjoon says, shaking his head.

"Whatever. Pull yourself together, because you'll hurt Jungkook if you don't." Yoongi says, squeezing Jin's shoulder one last time before getting up and leaving the room.

"He's right, you know." Namjoon says once he's gone. "It's really not that bad, Hyung, I promise."

Even though years of repressed shame are hard to deal with and Jin will definitely need more time to fully process what he's been told, let alone accept it— something about having shared this with Yoongi and Namjoon makes the constant pressure he'd been feeling on his chest a lot lighter.

Maybe they are right, and maybe it's not that bad.

Jin can only hope that if— or when— they do meet you, that moment comes later rather than sooner.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in any way you want!

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x14: Look at the Flowers - Character Journeys

All right, so after watching this episode like three times, I started to notice patterns in the different character arcs. Each of them is on a similar journey in this episode, and while they’re all different, they all parallel one another.

The characters are Carol, Beta, Ezekiel, Daryl, Negan, and then Eugene/Yumiko/Ezekiel. The reason I put those last three together is that their “journey” is physical. It’s them journeying to meet Stephanie. For the other characters, the journey is internal.

So I’ll try to go through this quickly. I just want you to notice the pattern here. This is the journey of these characters to make a decision that will affect things moving forward. And it’s important to understand what that journey is so we know where their arcs are going and how they will react to things. By the end of the episode, they’ve made their decisions and are ready for action.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x14. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

Phase 1: each journey starts out with a negative, destructive mindset.

Carol – listening to Alpha (herself) who is telling her how terrible she is, how it’s her fault each of the kids died, etc. Very negative mindset.

Ezekiel – he’s down on himself for not saving the kids and is being more negative than positive about his future. Probably because he believes he doesn’t have one.

Beta – we see him find that Alpha is dead, kill one of the Whisperers, and then destroy his room in the western saloon.

Daryl – For Daryl, it’s about him not believing Negan. He’s mad at Carol, but he also doesn’t trust Negan or believe they’re on the same side, now. It’s understandable, but he’s just not having much “faith in people.”

Negan – His is more subtle but he’s trying to convince Daryl he’s a friend and is obviously terrified that Daryl is going to kill him at any moment. Which he’s probably right about.

Phase 2: The negativity culminates in some sort of disaster or major event that forces them to make a decision about their future.

Carol – the boat falls on her, and she’s faced with whether she’ll fight to live or just let the walker bite her.

Ezekiel – his horse dies, and he wants to turn back because he’s afraid his lack of stamina might put Yumiko and Eugene in danger.

Beta – I’m convinced he contemplates suicide by walker a few times. The big event is when all the walkers come toward him and he has to decide what he wants to do next.

Daryl – Taken captive by the Whisperers, when they bow to Negan.

Negan – Same thing. Not a disaster for him, but he’s given the opportunity to go back to his old, Negan-ish ways, and he has to decide whether to do that or continue to ally himself with Daryl and the Alexandrians.

Phase 3 – They make a decisions to either slide back into old, negative patterns, or move forward with faith and hope.

Carol – kills the walker, decides to live and return to Alexandria, rather than running away.

Ezekiel – convinced by Yumiko to continue on toward the city. And that’s super important because him going there will probably ultimately save his life. So, deciding to move forward with faith and hope will allow him to live.

Beta – he’s the only one that doesn’t exactly move forward with positivity. You could argue that he doesn’t go the route of death by walker, so he chooses to live. But he also wears Alpha’s face and leads the horde to make war on Alexandria, so…

Daryl – For him, I believe it’s deciding to believe Negan. At first, he didn’t believe him. Then he had to trust Negan to kill the Whisperers and be on his side. And he makes a point of saying he still doesn’t like Negan, but I don’t think Daryl will go out of his way to kill Negan moving forward either. And his acceptance will go a long way toward others in the community accepting Negan as well. Probably far more than Carol’s acceptance of him would.

Negan – He chooses not to return to his negative, dictator-like ways, which earns Daryl’s trust and gets him back to Alexandria, which is what he wants.

So none of these are super TD or Beth-ish in nature, though we certainly see plenty of signs and symbols of her along the way. But I think the point is that all of them moving forward with positivity will affect their arcs moving forward.

And it also mirrors Eugene’s journey to find Stephanie. We certainly didn’t reach the end of that journey, but I noticed that right after Carol says, “It’s never too late,” the next shot we see is of them arriving at the city with triumphant music. So that’s purposeful.

Eugene says their on a journey to the hope and future of mankind. Makes us think we’ll see a cure arc here and this journey of Eugene’s is going to change everything. So, it mirrors what these individual characters are going through, because their choices here will change everything moving forward.

How do I think they’ll change things? 

As I’ve already said, I think Ezekiel will live, rather than die of his cancer. For Carol, though I think Zeke’s death fake out will send her into a tailspin, I also think that, like Daryl, Maggie, and Michonne, she’ll have to choose to be positive and move forward before she’s “worthy” to get Ezekiel back and find happiness. She basically chose that here. 

So while obviously thinking he’s dead will greatly affect her, I think her choice here will help her keep from sliding into hermetic, homicidal existence when it does happen.

Beta? Yeah, I don’t have much in the way of details to offer, but he’ll probably die eventually. But then, he didn’t exactly choose the most positive path. Many of us got Phantom of the Opera vibes with his “new” mask. 

You know, the story of a monster with a mask who kidnaps a beautiful, young, singer? And the phantom has an amazing singing voice as well? Now, I don’t know if that’s what they’re going for. But I gotta say, Ryan did talk on TTD about how Alpha’s ghost will very much remain with Beta moving forward. The opera ghost is a big part of the Phantom tale.

And yes, I totally have a head canon about Beta kidnapping Beth and Beth choosing Daryl instead. But we’ll leave that in head canon land for now. ;D

For Negan, the obvious thing is that maybe he’ll get to live at Alexandria and be one of the good guys, now. But I really like this Negan thing in terms of Daryl. I still think Negan will figure in Beth’s return in some way, and maybe he needs to be part of Alexandria (not just as a prisoner) to make that happen. So I like to think that, much as with Dwight, Daryl’s mercy will aid in bringing Beth back to him. But I’m not exactly objective on that count. ;D

So yeah, just wanted you guys to see this so we can refer back to it as we get farther on in the story.  

Another thing? I was originally going to discuss the lyrics of the songs we her in tomorrow’s Details post. But then I realized I need to put them here.

So here’s the thing. We saw three different scenes in which Beta is playing music. In the first scene, he’s playing Emily’s The Turtle and the Monkey song. In the second one, a different song is playing that I haven’t identified yet. And then in the third one, her song is playing again. I’ve typed out the lyrics below.

Even before I realized that the song in 2 out of 3 scenes was Emily’s, I looked at the lyrics and realized they represented the three phases. 1 – Negativity, 2 – Imprisonment 3 – Staying the course and, kind of, being in love? The first set of lyrics sounds really self-deprecating. The second set of lyrics starts out, “Cuz if I knew they’d lock me up…” Yeah. Imprisonment. And in the third we get sticking to the path (i.e. making the right choice), talk of love, and staring into one another’s eyes.

Check them out for yourself:

First Scene:

“I’m a miser when I’m rich

But a gambler if I’m broke

And if we’re gonna be laughin’

I would wanna be in on the joke.

Sometimes I think You show me the scabs

Just to temp me to tear ‘em away

Makin’ me draw blood

Will never make me want to stay.

Second Scene:

‘Cause if I knew they’d lock me up

Then I would surely run

Killed so many in your name, girl

That I’d never see the sun

Was invited down to hell

Drank from the glass, it felt just fine

I asked him, “Where’s that girl of mine?”

The Devil just smiled and left me behind

I smiled back and finished my bear

and said adios. I didn’t shed a tear

Joy descended with the flames all around

‘Cause the Devil, he sure likes to gamble

I tried to stand tall

And knock down that big old wall

I tried to stand strong

But suppose I guessed all wrong.

I tried to stand tall

And knock down that big old wall

I tried to stand strong

But supposed I guessed all wrong.

Third Scene:

Just sticking to the path

Your like a monkey in the trees

Jumpin from branch to branch

I love the way you move

You love the way I rock ‘n’ roll

But if our worlds collide it’s bound to take its toll

Oh, oh it’s sad but true

Love is never enough

And after just a few months, we’re not immune

Oh, we used to stay up late

Starin’ in each other’s eyes

So, I didn’t realize it was Emily’s song because I’ve only listened to her Turtle and the Monkey song a few times and am not that familiar with the tune. In my defense, I did google and figured if it was one of her songs it would come up. It totally didn’t. But I think I know why. The first few lines in Beta’s song are different than in Emily’s song. And those are the only ones I Googled (eye roll). So that’s why it didn’t pop up for me.

But I gotta say, it being her song, and especially the fact that she’s in the first and third scenes, is awesome! Think about what I said last week about the 15 season arc. Beth was in the first 5 season (S2-S5), but not in the middle 5 (6-10) but we’re thinking she’ll return for 11-whenever. The songs…kind of reflect that.

Thoughts?

[blodreina-noumou]

Throwback Thursday - Season 2 - Tag Game

Tagged by the wonderful @boomheda @osleyakomwonkru and @johnmurphysreddit Thanks as always, my friends.

Favourite look:

Lexa’s commander gear, specifically the moment where she and Clarke first meet, and she’s toying around with that little knife.

Iconic, cool, just a lil bit extra. And so very like Lexa, to keep a weapon directly on hand while first meeting an adversary, yet remain cool as a cucumber during the conversation itself.

Favourite episode:

2x08 - “Spacewalker”

In this moment, from this very line, you know Finn is gonna die. The rest of the episode is an excellent, slowly building tension, culminating with Clarke mercy-killing her first love, in front of their enemies, Finn’s people, and Finn’s only surviving family.

I’d been hot and cold on this show since 1x05, waiting for it to make full use of its premise in a compelling way. This episode, and the scene where Clarke kills Finn, is still the peak. It’s what finally let this show sink its claws into me, and somehow, years later, I’m still watching. Genuinely shocking, gut-wrenchingly emotional, and full of the interpersonal character moments that make such epic and difficult scenes worth it. From Finn and Raven’s last goodbye, to Clarke impaling herself on Indra’s pike to prove her determination, to Raven’s soul-searing shriek of despair when she realizes Finn is dead. It’s tense, emotional, and maybe my favorite episode of television, ever.

Favourite song: 

I also love the soundtrack of this series, so I’m 100% with you, Luce. I think “Home” is a great contender (linked here). It’s emotional without being overwrought, epic and soaring without being cheesy. It sets the tone for the rest of the season really well.

I also really love “Couldn’t Stop Caring” playing behind the moments where Abby confronts Clarke about the bombing of Tondc (linked here). The song doesn’t kick in until towards the end of the scene, and I think it’s a well done moment of soundtrack. It’s an interesting juxtaposition, because, at this point, Clarke has really lost touch with a lot of her humanity in her quest to save The 47 from Mt Weather. She’s embraced “love is weakness” - yet the climax of the song states: “I couldn’t stop caring.” The heavy beat, the rising wall of sound, the grim tone and expression on everyone’s faces as they march towards war - it’s effective, chilling, and kind of badass all at the same time.

Favourite scene: 

Season two is full of good scenes, honestly. I think one underrated, really well-done moment is Lincoln’s resurrection in 2x07, “Long Into an Abyss”. I was genuinely so scared as Lincoln seized and died, all while Lexa is approaching the dropship. She’s staring around in horror and rage at the burned bodies of the 300 warriors she sent to attack The Hundred.

You can see how ready for vengeance she is - and then, she arrives in the dropship, and it could not be clearer to her that Skaikru lied, that they couldn’t cure reapers, that Lincoln is dead. Octavia’s wailing, undercut by the tense, scared glances Skaikru share with one another, realizing they’re doomed -

- and then, Clarke saves the day, telling Abby to use a shocklash as a makeshift defibrillator. Miraculously, it works. In the most dramatic, tense way possible, Skaikru proves their value to Lexa and to the grounders at large, and for a moment, it seems like things will be simple.

Least favourite scene:

Probably Ghost Finn, tbh. Wtf was that?? Clarke banished her delusions with the power of “love is weakness”! That’s so dumb!! Grief will do crazy things to a person, but damn!

Most interesting character on first watch: This is Clarke’s best season, hands down. She struggles so hard, but finds herself getting the short end of the stick, again and again. It turns her ruthless.

Her desperation and slow descent into genocide is very compelling to watch. She goes through so much, and it’s only her single-minded determination to free her friends that keeps her going. She loses almost everything, is betrayed time and again, comes up against countless obstacles. At the end of it all, she finds herself with the blood of a civilization on her hands, and at a complete loss for who she is. That’s a compelling story.

Most interesting character on rewatch: 

Octavia Blake. It’s a sleeper season for her, but her transformation from plucky, mouthy scrapper into full-blown warrior is incredible.

It has its downs. I don’t love the way she treats Lincoln upon his return from reaperdom, but overall, it’s a really exciting storyline, with a satisfying payoff. Seeing Octavia march among the rest of the grounders, finally content in her place, secure in her role, is so satisfying.

Favourite arc/storyline:  

This season is still my favorite, so it’s hard to choose. 

The beginnings of Clexa are the best part of Clexa - their uncertain yet undeniable connection carries the season through its lowest moments. 

Pike’s journey into the desert, Murphy tagging along because he “has nothing better to do.” That thread eventually leading to the insanity that is the CoL storyline - but the Prophet’s Quest through the Dead Zone is a really fun diversion from the rest of the season, which is particularly heavy.

Raven and Wick, genius-rivals-turned-lovers, providing a lot of very necessary comic relief. Raven’s struggle to adapt to life, now that her leg doesn’t work.

The struggle of The Delinquents inside Mt Weather, especially Jasper’s. He’s really the main character of that location, and it’s his best season. Watching him fall for Maya, feeling the dramatic tension of him trying to grab ahold of his own story, like the main protagonist he wants to be, only to have the actual main protagonists intervene out of nowhere, and ruin his life. It’s tragic. But getting there is actually a lot of fun, with juvenile delinquent shenanigans and scrappy underdog vibes.

Getting to know the Grounders on a cultural level, seeing what makes them tick, learning a bit more about how humanity survived in the 97 years since the bombs.

Favourite dynamic:

Clarke and Lexa; Octavia and Lincoln; Jasper and Monty; Jaha and Murphy; Raven and Wick; Bellamy and Octavia...

It’s a good season for most of the character dynamics, tbh.

Favourite New character introduced this season: 

It’s a toss-up between two of the best grounder women to ever exist -

Favourite quote:

“Thanks, princess” is definitely up there. Heartbreaking, succinct, too perfect.

“We’ve all got a monster inside of us, and we’re all responsible for what it does when we let it out.” Lincoln was too good for this show.

“Yu gonplei ste udon” - I gotta include some Trigedasleng, as this was the season where it’s introduced.

Tagging: @lovelyrosaye @blodkru @captainwilldameron @dylanobrienisbatman @nightbleeder @bellarke-addict @spacegamora @imacreepygirl and anyone else who sees this and wants to throw it back!

[admiralty-xfd]

Culmination

This is Chapter 12, to start at the beginning click here.

(Note: One of my biggest pet peeves with season 8 is Mulder’s inexplicable behavior towards Scully in “Three Words” and the shift we see from that to the pizza man banter in “Empedocles.” He’s clearly suffering from some form of PTSD but I truly believe there was so much story here, a truly wasted opportunity for character development. Missing scenes galore. So this is my attempt at making the inexplicable… explicable.)

CONFUSION

MULDER

(DeadAlive)

“Mulder?”

He opens his eyes and she is there.

He doesn’t know exactly where he is, but it looks like a hospital room. A familiar sight. He feels as if time has passed but he doesn’t know how much. He felt it when he was in the dark place, when they poked and prodded and tortured him endlessly.

He’d wanted to die. He felt dead. Then…. nothing.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been in that place but it must have been a long time. He sees it in her face now, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Hi,” she greets him, a glow in her eyes that looks different, new. He can’t quite place it. It’s been so long since he’s seen her face, and the anguish he sees isn’t something he wants to remember. He wants to forget, he wants to forget all of this, so he cracks a joke.

“Who are you?”

Her smile disappears and her lower lip trembles. He knows she’s about to start explaining who she is, who he is, everything he would expect her to say. He’s not about to put her through that so he smiles at her, letting her know he’s kidding.

She chokes back a relieved sob. “Oh my god, don’t do that to me.”

She reaches out to touch his forehead, smoothes back his hair, something she always does. The intimacy comforts him.

“Do you know… do you have any idea what you’ve been through?” She says this to him as she cries, but he knows what she really means is does he have any idea what she’s been through. Her tears are of joy, of relief, of release. They are together again, somehow.

“Only what I see in your face.”

He can’t possibly understand anything at the moment. He doesn’t know where he is, how much time has passed, anything. But he sees her. He always sees her.

She gets as close to him as she physically can, her head on his chest. Soon the memories of what happened to him will come screaming back, he knows it. He tries to capture this moment so he has something pleasant to recall when they do. He breathes in the scent of her hair, and a hundred happy memories of her enter his mind.

“Anybody miss me?”

She laughs. Oh, how he’s missed that laugh. Maybe if he hears it enough he’ll be able to forget.

They stay together like that for a long time, holding each other. Eventually she gets up to check his vitals and the sight of her enormous pregnant belly hits him like a ton of bricks.

How…?

Suddenly he’s certain he must be dreaming. He must be, this is impossible. The in-vitro didn’t work, and Scully can’t conceive naturally. She can’t be pregnant.

This isn’t real. None of this is real. He isn’t here at all, and neither is she. He must still be stuck in the dark place. He can’t breathe.

The machines are going wild and Scully looks panicked. “Mulder?! What’s wrong?” The last thing he sees is her screaming for assistance and a team rushing in to help as the darkness takes him.

***

When he wakes again he is so tired. He doesn’t know which way is up. The disorientation is only compounded by the memories of his torture, slowly starting to seep in. He feels like a soldier returned from war.

“Mulder?” Scully is still there. “I’m here.”

“Scully…”

She takes his hand. “You had some kind of panic attack but everything seems to be okay now. How are you feeling?”

“Tell me.” His voice is practically pleading.

What the fuck is going on?

He tries to get a good look at her, tries to decide if he’s still dreaming or not. She’s sitting down again and he can’t see anything.

“You’re…” he trails off, not sure how to complete the sentence.

She looks at him, takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what you’re going to think about this.”

“Lay it on me, Scully.”

“When we found you, you were dead, Mulder. There were other abductees that had been returned and healed, and I tried to get you help but it was too late. As of three months ago, you were dead. I buried you in Raleigh, we had a funeral and everything.”

He tries to absorb this.

“Are you ready for more?”

He isn’t, but nods.

“A few days ago, Billy Miles’ body was found in the ocean. He’d been abducted and returned just like you, and he’d been dead for months. But his body hadn’t decomposed. He was still effectively alive.” She shakes her head, as if she can’t believe she’s actually telling him this. “Skinner found out about it and thought the same might happen to you. So he had your body exhumed. We don’t know how… but here you are, Mulder. I’m trying not to question it.”

“You? Trying not to question it?” he smiles, his first real smile since he woke up.

“I have you back,” she says simply.

For Scully, when it comes to matters of faith she’s far less of a skeptic. It makes no fucking sense to him but it only makes him love her more.

“Is there… anything else?” He’s fishing, and he feels like an idiot for having to ask about the elephant in the room, but he’s so unsure about what the hell is going on he’s not sure how to ask, what to say, or what to even expect.

Either she doesn’t pick up on what he’s really asking about or she doesn’t know how to start, either. Maybe she just assumes his own condition is more important.

“That’s all we know right now.”

“There’s something I have to tell you too, Scully,” he suddenly remembers. He knows he can’t hide his own secret from her any longer. “Back before… well, before… you and I…” he gestures between them and she smiles in understanding.

She already knows what he’s going to say. “I know about all the brain disease, Mulder. We obtained your medical records while we were searching for you.”

He closes his eyes, lays back on the pillow. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

She squeezes his hand. “That doesn’t matter, Mulder. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Did the doctors… say anything about that? Don’t tell me you resurrected a dead man for nothing.”

“We aren’t sure yet. They’re running some tests. We should know more in the morning.”

He looks at her face. He hasn’t seen anything so beautiful in forever and it’s like sustenance. “Can you do me a favor, Scully?”

“Yes. Anything.”

“Pinch me or something? Just humor me.”

She laughs. “I promise you this is all real, Mulder.” She doesn’t pinch him but she squeezes his hand tightly for emphasis.

She stands up. “I think you should get some rest.”

He watches her get up and sees her belly again. He turns away and squeezes his eyes shut.

Wake up, wake up. This is torture.

She must take his reaction as acquiescence to sleep because she lets go of his hand and starts to walk out of the room.

“We… have a lot to talk about, Mulder. I’ll be back later, okay?”

He keeps his eyes shut and doesn’t respond. Maybe she will think he’s trying to sleep. He hears the door close and turns his head, opening one eye. Through the window, in the hallway, he sees her with a man. He is a bit older than her, in a suit and tie with bright blue eyes. He puts his hand on her shoulder and smiles.

Mulder doesn’t know this man, he’s never seen him before. The bad thoughts he thought had disappeared after their first night together return, along with a sudden unexpected rush of jealousy.

That rush quickly transforms into something unbearable.

Of course she’s moved on. Of course she has.

He’s been gone for so long. And this guy, whoever he is, somehow gave her what he couldn’t. This must be why she hasn’t mentioned her pregnancy yet.

Everything now clicks into place. This isn’t a dream after all. It’s completely real, and it’s hell.

All the indecision and uncertainty weighing on his mind before he was abducted suddenly doesn’t matter anymore. He wants to panic. He doesn’t want to imagine his life without her, and for the first time ever he’s thinking about the very real possibility of her with some other man, raising some other man’s child, doing all the things she ever wanted to do with someone who is not him.

He can feel his heart breaking in two. When he made the decision to let her go, he hadn’t realized exactly how painful the consequences would be. He feels like a fool. She’s done exactly what he told her to do. She’s moving on and living her life, without him.

He’s lost her and there’s nothing he can do about it, nothing.

Scully and the other man walk out of his view and he turns away from the window, tears threatening to fall.

SCULLY

(Three Words)

He is alive.

This is literally all that matters, she tries to convince herself.

He’s back from the dead, unbelievably, and his mysterious brain disease has been miraculously cured. There will be plenty of time for them to figure everything out after he feels better, feels like himself again.

She’s pretty sure Mulder saw her belly in the hospital room, at nearly eight months pregnant he could hardly have missed it. So why hasn’t he said anything? Why hasn’t he smiled, or asked about it, or even made a joke? This isn’t how this is supposed to go.

Her instincts told her to deal with his recovery first, and broach this topic afterwards. Maybe that was a mistake. Now it feels like every conversation they have without mentioning it makes it harder and harder to bring up.

The last time they discussed her failed attempts at in-vitro was so long ago, before they even started sleeping together. He’d agreed to be her donor, and she assumed they’d both figure out the role he would be playing after they knew for sure he’d have a role to play. But it never happened, and neither did the discussion. They were both left completely in the dark on how they would have proceeded if it had.

She knows it’s her responsibility to say something, to start this conversation, but she doesn’t even know where to start. He’s probably confused about the how, but so is she. How will she tell him something even she doesn’t understand?

As they ascend the elevator to his apartment, he turns to her. “Why’d you keep the apartment?”

She sighs, looks up at him. She doesn’t want to tell him the real reason: because she’s been sleeping in his bed nearly every night since he left.

“I would have given it up eventually. I just… couldn’t let it go. It would have felt like losing you all over again.” They walk down the hallway. “It’s still full of all your stuff. I never went through it.”

They’ve reached his door and walk in.

“Something looks different.” He looks around, takes it in.

“It’s clean,” she says.

“That’s it.” He walks over to the tank, counts the fish. “Missing a molly,” he points out.

“She wasn’t as lucky as you.”

This isn’t right at all. He doesn’t sound like himself. What is wrong with him?

She knows he’s been through an ordeal, to say the least, but he’s acting so strangely. This isn’t how she imagined this reunion all the nights she sat with him in the hospital, holding his hand, praying desperately that he would somehow survive.

They stand there silently for a few moments, then she speaks.

“Mulder… I don’t know if you’ll ever understand what it was like. First learning of your abduction, then searching for you and finding you dead, and now to have you back…” she trails off.

He sits on the desk. “You act like you’re surprised.”

He’s trying, she thinks. He’s trying to be Mulder again. Making jokes, diffusing awkwardness. But it’s not working today. Today they need to be serious.

“I prayed a lot,” she admits. “And my prayers have been answered.”

“In more ways than one,” he smiles, gesturing to the baby.

There it is.

She sighs with relief, and touches her belly. “Yeah.” She’s about to tell him everything she knows but he beats her to the punch.

“I’m happy for you,” he says. “I think I know how much that means to you.”

Her heart drops into her stomach.

...Happy... for me? Just me? What about us?

They stare at each other like strangers.

What the fuck is going on?

He says he’s happy, so why does he look so sad? This is wrong, all of it. She can’t take it and she feels the tears start to well up.

“Mulder-“

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be cold or ungrateful, I just… have no idea where I fit in right now. I’m having a little trouble processing ...everything.”

She nods, and looks at the ground. This is clearly not going at all the way she’d hoped. Of all the uncertainties in her life, he has always been the one thing that stayed consistent: her true north. Her constant. Her touchstone. He’s so far off course at the moment she has no idea what to do. She doesn’t know why he’s acting this way. She doesn’t know how to react to this Mulder.

She thinks of Billy Miles and what happened to him, how he returned… not quite right. She feared this might happen, and although God has already answered her prayers she silently sends out one more, that this man is truly her Mulder. That he’s come back to her fully. He just needs time, she thinks. Even more time.

Suddenly she feels a strong desire to leave. “Okay, well, I guess I’ll go.”

He’s looking anywhere but at her.

“Call me if you need anything,” she adds.

He finally looks up at her and smiles. “Okay, thanks.”

The door closes behind her, and she walks slowly down the hallway, more confused than ever. So much happened in this hallway, so many moments and conversations and meaningful events and even deaths, right here outside his apartment.

As she walks away from him she feels like she’s walking away from a stranger.

***

It’s only been a couple days, and Mulder is back to all his usual tricks. Chasing leads, breaking protocol, pissing off Deputy Director Kersh, the works. Scully would be utterly annoyed if some part of her wasn’t relieved that he was at least behaving like himself again.

Scully, if you know something that can get us moving forward again you need to tell me.

He had been referring to their work, but all she could hear was “get us moving forward again” and that’s all she wants to do. That was the last time they had spoken.

In the meantime, he’d broken into the Federal Statistics Center with the Lone Gunmen, gotten into a pissing contest with Agent Doggett, and they’d both escaped with their lives.

Business as usual, in other words.

She feels like maybe it’s a good time to talk to him, now that he’s gotten some of it out of his system. They’ve lost so much time already, and the baby is due soon. It’s time for a conversation. So she invites him over.

He arrives in jeans, a gray T-shirt and leather jacket.

Christ, he looks good. Why does he have to look so good?

She feels an involuntary flush and curses the gods for her third trimester horniness. It was easier before they’d gotten together, when regular sex wasn’t a part of her life. She'd been so wrapped up in her grief it wasn't something she was terribly focused on but having him here now in her apartment is bringing it all back. Being without him all this time has been miserable in other ways, she’s realizing.

“Hey.” He sounds… happy? Glad to see her? Things have been so fucking weird she doesn’t know what to expect.

“Hi.” She lets him in and closes the door. “Sit.”

“Oh boy,” he says nervously, but follows her instructions. She sits next to him on the couch. They just look at each other for a bit, then she takes a deep breath.

“I don’t want to talk about work. I need to talk about us right now.”

“Okay.” He’s listening.

“I’m just going to come out and say this because I feel thirteen months pregnant and my hormones are crazy and I don’t want to play any games with you. Okay?”

He nods. He looks uncomfortable.

“Mulder. What the hell is up with you? Why are you acting so strangely around me?”

He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it. He seems at a total loss for words.

“Ever since you got back you haven’t been yourself, I feel like we’re two people who have never met before. I don’t like it at all.”

He can’t speak for some reason so he stares at her belly.

“Yes!" she exclaims. "The baby! Please, let’s talk about it! You haven’t said anything, I thought… I thought you’d be happy.”

Finally, he speaks. “I am happy, Scully, I’m very happy for you.”

She’s so frustrated she wants to scream. “Yes, you said that. But what about you ? How do you feel about it?”

His mouth hangs open. “I … don’t know what else you want me to say.”

Her eyes go wild, and she stands up. “What I want you to say? I want you to say you’re happy for us, Mulder! For me and for you and for our baby!”

He looks confused. “Wait… what? How… the baby is mine?”

Her jaw drops and she stares at him, gobsmacked. “For fuck’s sake, Mulder, of course it’s yours! What is wrong with you?” She’s angry now. What did he think, she’d go off with some other guy right after he was abducted? Or right after she’d buried him?

“I’m sorry, Scully, please sit down, I’m sorry!” He grabs her hands and pulls her gently down next to him. “I… I got the wrong idea, I’m sorry.”

She looks him in the eyes and shakes her head. “Wrong idea how? What are you talking about?”

His eyes look apologetic, but the confusion on his face is palpable. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, Scully, I have. I just... couldn’t figure how it could have been me. The in-vitro didn’t work, right? There’s no other way it could have happened, is there? I guess I just thought...”

He looks so, so confused, and upset. She finally begins to understand. He doesn’t know the baby is his. He thinks since the IVF didn’t work with him, she tried again with someone else. Or worse, was in a relationship with somebody else.

No wonder he’s been acting so strangely. It all makes sense now.

“I thought there must be… someone else.” He looks hurt, but catches himself. “I wouldn’t have blamed you, Scully. I mean… I was dead. And I all but told you to move on from me the last time we saw each other. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Mulder.” She can’t take it anymore, she needs to hold him so badly. She throws her arms around him and pulls him to her as tightly as her stomach will allow. He returns the hug and they just sit there, breathing each other in. She laughs into his ear.  

“When did you think I’d have time to go out looking for men, Mulder? Honestly.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I feel like an asshole.”

She pulls away. “Yeah, you kind of have been. I thought this was some kind of Invasion of the Body Snatchers situation.”

“Nice, Scully.” He looks impressed.

“I just don’t understand how you could think that, Mulder. It took us seven years to get together.”

“Well, that was only because I’m an idiot.” He breathes an audible sigh of relief. “I thought maybe… that Agent Doggett. I really did.”

She sits back a bit. “What? Are you kidding me?”

“No, I really did.”

“You think I’d ask the man who was helping me look for you for his sperm? Are you serious?”

She can tell he’s starting to feel the weight of her unspoken accusations of stupidity. “I don’t know, Scully. He has very piercingly blue eyes. I almost got lost in them myself. His sperm might have been the way to go.”

She looks at him pointedly. “Mulder. That is not why you shoved him in Skinner’s office.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“I would never admit to such a thing. Maybe a little bit.”

She playfully hits his shoulder, then flops back into the couch cushion, so relieved, eyes closed.

“I’m extremely territorial when it comes to you, Scully. What can I say?”

She rolls her eyes. She can’t believe that, as usual, they’ve managed to turn a simple misunderstanding into a huge problem. She loves everything about them together except their seemingly inescapable predilection to get in their own way.

She exhales loudly. “So. We should talk about this, then.”

“Yeah. Do you know how it happened? When?”

“I have no idea, Mulder.” It’s the truth. “I found out the same night you were abducted.”

“But… how?”

She shakes her head. “I’m just as shocked as you are. But there are definitely some things you need to know.”

She tells him everything she’s learned about Dr Parenti and the women involved in his experiments. How there was talk of alien babies and it had scared her.

“All of this feels so deeply connected to me and my own abduction, it would be remiss of me not to be at all concerned. But I’ve had so many tests done, Mulder. I’ve done tests myself. Everything checks out fine. The baby is normal and healthy.”

He thinks a moment. “I hate to even entertain this, Scully, but… do you think it’s possible the cancer man has something to do with this? I mean, you told me he may have drugged you. Could he have… done something to you?”

“I considered that,” she replies. “It would be irresponsible of me not to.”

“...And?”

She sighs. She isn’t stupid, she’d done the math. External involvement had been a concern of hers since the day she learned of her pregnancy. But she is still Scully, and she still deals with these things the way she always has. “I don’t know. I guess I’m actively deciding not to go there. That son of a bitch has done enough damage to both of us. I don’t want to give him another minute of my time.”

They are both quiet a moment, contemplating this.

“I hate this so much, Mulder,” she suddenly blurts out. “I’ve been given everything I ever dreamed of and I hate that I’m having to question it. And you’ve been gone… it’s just been so difficult. I’ve had to go through everything alone. It’s been impossible to enjoy.”

He squeezes her hand. “Well, I’m here now.”

She smiles at him.

He continues. “I’m just feeling this… insane mix of emotions right now. I’m so happy to have helped give you back a dream. It’s more than I could have hoped for. But I’m not gonna lie, Scully, I’m worried. For the first time I feel as skeptical as you can be.”

She’s so relieved to know she really has her Mulder back she allows him the familiar protectiveness she’s used to. “I know. But everything is okay, the baby is perfectly healthy.”

“And… you’re sure, absolutely sure it’s mine?”

“As sure as you’d expect me to be. I had an amnio and I ran the DNA against yours. It’s a match, Mulder.”

He sits back into the couch and exhales deeply. “Wow.”

They’re quiet for a moment. “You know," she says quietly, "they’re talking a lot at work. I hear things.”

“Like what?”

“Just talk. About you and me. And the baby. There’s a lot of it. I actually overheard Arlene talking about an office pool.”

He narrows his eyes. “What exactly are you implying, Scully? That everyone at the FBI thinks I knocked you up?”

She shrugs and grins. In the weeks leading up to his abduction the rumors had most certainly gone from bad to worse. “Can you blame them?”

He smiles, finally, the smile she’s been waiting to see. “Sure I can, because you and I just work together.”

“Right. We just work together.”

“We work really well together.”

She grins. “That, we do.”

“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, Scully. And until this baby comes out, anyone is under suspicion. For all we know, it could be a mini-Kersh.”

She laughs. “It couldn’t be anyone else’s, anyway.” She runs her fingers along the nape of his neck, into his hair. “I wanted to be thorough with the testing. But… there hasn’t been anyone else.”

He tilts his head back into her hand and turns it to look at her, finally catching her eye in a very familiar way, a very specific way she’s missed.

“Well, this is excellent news, Scully. I’m very happy. For us.” He lets go of her hand in order to place his on her belly. “I’m worried about the kid though, to be honest. Half you and half me? How the hell will he get anything done?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Who said anything about a he?”

“What, it’s a girl?”

“I’ll never tell.” She gives him a playful smile. She knows the truth, of course. But for some reason she wants to keep it to herself, for now.

“Seriously, Scully? You’re not going to tell me?”

“Don’t you want to be surprised?”

“No. I hate surprises. You know this.”

She slowly moves her other hand along his thigh. “I do know.”

The relief she feels that Mulder is actually Mulder, and not a pod person, and not some alien replicant, and not behaving coldly or ungratefully anymore, has evolved. Now she just wants him back, all of him, the way they were before. Right now.

The pregnancy hormones are powerful.

His eyes narrow. “Are you trying to seduce me, Agent Scully?”

“Yes.”

He shifts in his seat. “Um… is that… allowed?”

“What, you’ve never had sex with a pregnant woman before?” she teases.

“Actually, no. But I just added it to my bucket list.”

“Well, it’s doctor-approved.”

“Really?”

She pushes his chest until he’s flat on the couch, and with great effort climbs onto his lap. “Yes, Mulder. I’m a doctor, and I approve.”

“Jesus. I really like Pregnant Scully.”

“Mulder. I’m in third trimester hell. Please put me out of my misery.” Her lips clamp down onto his with a fervor she doesn’t recognize. She can’t recall another time when she felt this hungry for him, for anyone, and as she feels his lips move beneath hers, tasting him, she feels whole again. Just a couple days ago he was dead. Now here he is, in the flesh, and she can’t wait anymore.

He sits up a bit as they kiss, allowing her to tear his jacket and shirt from his body, her lips then moving to his chest, covering every inch of him, verifying his mortality. She doesn’t think she’s ever been so turned on in her entire life. Some external force has taken over her body and she feels carnal, animalistic. She wants to do things to him she wouldn’t normally think about. She tries to blame the hormones but she knows it’s probably just him.

It all happens fast, so fast, and she unzips his jeans, pushing them down just enough to reveal verifiable evidence that he indeed missed this just as much as she did. She rises up onto her knees and maneuvers herself down onto him, extended foreplay utterly unnecessary this time.

The changes in her body have made everything feel different in a really good way, and she immediately decides they need to do this again as much as humanly possible before the baby comes. Life has been so awful and sad for so many months that she doesn’t even care that it’s all over much quicker than she would typically like it to be. It was everything she needed and more.

She tries to lay on top of him as she breathes heavily, sweating and shaking, but her enormous belly is in the way and after a minute he tries to lift her up.

“Scully…” he pants. “I’m sorry but you have to get up, I can’t breathe.”

She moves off him, laughing, and his arm goes around her as he tries to keep her from sliding off the couch.

“What’s funny?” he asks.

“I was just thinking about when you said you didn’t want this baby to come between us.”

He laughs. “Well, I obviously had no clue what the hell I was talking about.” He pulls her close, the couch far too small for her to feel as comfortable and content as she does.

Thanks for reading! See you back tomorrow with the next chapter.

[agentravensong]

The Hallmark Movie Musical: A Parody

At last, as I promised, here is my pitch for the ultimate homage & critique of the corporate tradition that is the Hallmark Channel’s annual Christmas movies. 

I’m sure your first question is, why a musical? For one, this story is way too complicated for a 90-minute movie. For two, I like musicals, shut up. For three, I feel like the upcoming meta stuff works best in a live format. But mainly, the idea is that this project is being billed as “the culmination of the Hallmark holiday movie tradition”, an idea we’ll get back to later.

The Plot

The play starts with a big old “It’s holiday season in the city” number, centered on our Protagonist, a white (probably blond) woman who I’ve taken to calling Karen. The song quickly introduces us to her current occupation and general goals, as well as our Main Man, who for now I’m calling Chad. As it winds down, we meet Karen’s Best Friend, Sandra (derived from Cassandra), a very smart and observant woman who’s always there to support Karen in her endeavors (even at her own expense) and offer her relationship advice.

Plot twist #1, Sandra is the musical’s actual protagonist. See, she starts to catch on pretty quickly that she’s living in a cheesy, generic, soulless Christmas movie, the kind she’s always derided even as Karen appreciated them. As you can imagine, she doesn’t take the revelation well. For one, she knows that Karen would never want to rush into a relationship, and yet, as the Protagonist of this story, she’d bound to end up soulmates with Chad within the next week or two. So Sandra does everything she can to try and convince Karen of the truth of their reality, or otherwise derail the plot, going so far as to seek help from Chad’s ex-girlfriend, who we’ll refer to as... uh, Vicky, I guess.

In my mind, this makes up most of Act 1, with plenty of opportunities for Sandra to deconstruct tropes along the way. However, during this, Sandra also starts to kind of appreciate the cheesy wholesomeness of her situation. Maybe her life was kinda sh*tty before this started, and now the sh*tiness has entirely faded into the background. So when Karen reveals in a song that she’s figured it out, but that she’s accepted it, because it means her relationship will be perfect for her and she’s guaranteed to be happy for the rest of her life... Sandra can see where she’s coming from. 

But Sandra doesn’t trust that this will all work out perfectly. Who’s to say happily ever after will continue after the “movie” ends? And what about everyone else, the “side characters” in this story? Will their lives just stagnate once their role in Karen’s arc is over? Surely Karen can see it isn’t fair that she gets to be the center of the universe, right?

And that’s where plot twist #2 - or rather #3 - comes in. Remember how I said that this project is billed, even in the opening number itself, as “the culmination of the Hallmark holiday movie tradition”? Well, as formulaic as these movies are, you can’t fit every single cliche into one movie. And so Act 1 ends with Sandra’s attempts to sabotage the plot essentially causing an emergency system reset. The closing number of the act has some characters excited that it will soon be “their turn”.

We find out what the heck that means in Act 2, where the characters’ roles have been switched around. Vicky is now the Protagonist. She has a small group of friends instead of just one Best Friend. One of those friends is another former protagonist, maybe one of them was Karen’s ex in the previous timeline...

And the other friend is Sandra. Functionally, her role has hardly changed, unlike everyone else. Her mission from the start of the act (once she figures out what’s up) is to search for Karen, but she also can’t help but wonder why she’s stuck in the same position. 

We find out part of the reason why in plot twist #4, which would have been pretty heavily foreshadowed up to this point. Like, maybe Karen made a joke about how weirdly good Sandra is at helping her with relationships when, as far as she knows, Sandra’s never been in a serious one. She’s certainly never seemed that interested in boys. Or maybe at one point, Sandra made an offhand comment to Karen about how all her previous relationships with guys have ended poorly, has she ever considered dating outside that pool? Karen’s just like no, Sandra shrugs, and the conversation moves on.

Yes, Sandra’s a lesbian. That’s why she’s never gotten to be the lead (though apparently, the company is looking to start producing movies with LGBTQ+ characters? So maybe we’d frame it like “well maybe you could have been now if you hadn't also ruined things last time?” Depends.) I’m not sure whether it would be best to have her be crushing on Karen during the events of the play; it almost seems too obvious, and I don’t want Sandra’s motivations for trying to free their reality from the Hallmark movie constraints to be superseded by her just wanting to date her friend. But I think it would be nice to have Sandra get with someone by the play’s end, and not just a rando.

Sandra (and maybe the other members of the friend group) sing a song about how not conforming to society’s mold of the “average”, “normal” person has made them feel alienated, how they don’t get these kinds of fairytale endings, even in fiction. From there, she and the gang of not-quite-lead-material formulate a plan to change the plot. I haven’t thought out the details of all this yet, but long story short...

It goes wrong. Really wrong. When it looks like the story is going to reset again, the characters give their all to stop it, but that just causes the world itself to collapse. We’re left with just Sandra, and maybe Vicky, on stage.

Then Karen reappears. She reveals the reason she was absent from the last retelling of the story was that she essentially gave up her role so that Sandra wouldn’t be punished for going against the script. Of course, that’s now become voided by Sandra’s actions, and Karen’s upset about it. She and Vicky guilt Sandra over having ruined things for everyone. 

Here’s where things get tricky. I laid out what I want the message of the musical to be in a post yesterday, but figuring out how to implement it in the play itself has been puzzling me. I think I’ll save going over that for its own section. In the meantime, I can really only imagine one of two endings for the musical:

A. The characters reboot the musical themselves, bringing in the side characters and giving them equal creative control, so they can create stories for everyone.

B. The characters escape the restrictions of their reality, entering back into the “real world”. Maybe add an epilogue-type scene where we see Sandra has gotten into the movie-making business, where she makes fun, lighthearted movies featuring diverse casts.

The Characters

This section is for elaborating on aspects of Sandra and Karen’s characterization and development that would have slowed down the flow of the plot summary.

Sandra

As previously mentioned, Sandra is basically your stereotypical Ravenclaw, witty almost to the point of pretentiousness. She’s meant to be the surrogate for all the people who think the Hallmark movies are nothing more than soulless, indistinguishable, products, the person who would only watch these movies to roast them. 

That being said, she also has a lot of Hufflepuff qualities. She’s hardworking and supremely loyal to her friends, always looking for ways to help them with their relationships and their careers, even at her own expense. Spending time helping Karen with projects instead of studying for her own exams, giving up opportunities so her friends have a shot at them, etc. 

As a result, Sandra has learned to roll with the punches and make the most of the worst situations, to the point where she gets enjoyment and pride out of it. She’s always looking for new opportunities but has the patience and forethought to think them through before jumping on them. As long as she can make life easier for her friends and give them more options, she can handle any personal repercussions. They find ways to pay her back eventually, but she really doesn’t need it... at least, that’s what she tells herself.

This is part of why she’s ticked off at the reveal that Karen is happy to be the Protagonist of a Hallmark movie. The idea that you’d want to give up your agency entirely to follow a set script so that you don’t have to try anymore; Sandra can’t imagine ever taking that opportunity, even after warming up to the idea of Hallmark movies as a fun thing to watch. And it’s not like Karen’s life was that difficult before, in comparison to her’s at least. Can she really not handle it, even with everything Sandra sacrifices for her best friend? How can she be happy, while being explicitly complicit in her friends getting sidelined?

As the musical goes on, Sandra acknowledges her desire to be in the spotlight more of the time and becomes more of a self-advocate, taking a leadership role in Act 2′s friend gang and factoring her own wants more into making decisions (like when she abandons the story to search for Karen). With the realization that part of the reason she can’t be in the spotlight within the constraints of her reality is something innate about her that can’t be changed, her ire towards the system becomes more focused and less petty, which is what convinces the other members of the friend group to take a risk in trying to change the story.

Again, I’ll save the ending for another section. In short, Sandra’s arc goes like this:

Starts out hating Hallmark movies, and always willing to concede to her friends

As soon as she realizes what her life has become, she fights against it in petty ways

Starts gaining an appreciation for Hallmark movies as a form of fun escapism, but still can’t imagine it being her whole life

Post reset, she becomes more of a self-advocate

After plot twist #4, she directs ire back towards the Hallmark-ness of her world, but this time because of how it excludes people from its fantasy

Works with the friend gang to change the direction of the story to try and make their world more just (but maybe she gets a bit dictatorial herself? The classic “protagonist goes too far” thing?)

After things go wrong, she admits that she was initially kind of an ass to Karen and that her initial actions were not committed with the best intentions, but she still stands up for her actions in Act 2 (or most of them, depending on how much of an ass she was to the friend gang)

By the end, she’s learned to appreciate cheesy movies, but more importantly, to self-advocate; she’s still committed to helping her friends, but now she’s also looking at how to do so on a systemic level

Others

Karen is your typical Hallmark movie protagonist: a white, middle class, cis woman who loves Christmas and Christmas movies. As I briefly touched on earlier, she’s benefitted from a lot of privilege, and the support of her large pool of family and friends. She doesn’t have any long-term aspirations, partly because she tends to stress out over the littlest things.

That being said, she’s definitely had hardship in terms of love; she tends to get invested in relationships super quickly, and so when she realizes the guy she’s dating isn’t right for her, things get messy. She’s spent years looking for the perfect man, and when she first meets Chad, she would never have considered him an option. At least on a conscious level. But after their first meeting went poorly, she finds him growing on her quickly... too quickly.

It doesn’t take much of Sandra’s meddling for Karen to figure out what’s up. At first, she isn’t sure how to feel about it. But she comes to see that being in a Hallmark movie, for her, basically means she’s living a slightly-improved, practically stress-free version of her life, where she’s guaranteed her soulmate. Even if she found a way to give it up, why would she ever want to? Sandra seems to be the only person who’s upset over it, and she is her best friend... but if they really are best friends, then surely Sandra will learn to just accept it and be happy for her, right? It’s not like this will make Sandra’s life actively worse, and she’ll always been willing to take a step back so Karen could succeed. Why would this time be any different?

As you might be able to discern from all that, Karen’s arc is learning not to take her friends for granted and to not see herself as the center of the universe. That being said, she also has to learn a form of self-advocacy, to become more willing to take risks on her deeper desires rather than just settling for “good enough”. Some of this growth happens while she’s absent during Act 2 (maybe there could be a small scene where we see just her, observing the story as it unfolds and giving some commentary?) and the rest happens after the friend gang’s failure.

I honestly haven’t thought much at all about what Chad is like, other than the same obvious basic factors, so we’ll just move past him. Vicky is similar to Karen on a basic level, hence why she gets to become Protagonist in Act 2, except that she’s the Protagonist stereotype who’s all business and thinks Christmas cheer is *gasp* overrated. 

I’m not sure yet where Vicky should be on the hero-villain spectrum. Does she sympathize with Sandra from the start, but temporarily become somewhat power-hungry when she gets to be Protagonist? Or was she always just waiting for it to be her turn again? Is she tired of the cycle, or is she glad to benefit from it? Who even is her love interest in Act 2? And then there are all the members of the friend group to consider... I think I’ll just cut myself off here, this is already way too long.

The Message

I told you we’d get back to this. Gonna start by copy-pasting what I put in yesterday’s post:

There’s definitely a place for lighthearted, straightforward stories that end in a happily ever after. BUT it would be cool if, without changing that, they A. didn’t churn out 30+ of the things a year, instead putting that extra time & effort into making each individual film stand out a little more, and B. weren’t almost always about the same white, middle class, cishet women, even if those people are currently the main demographic.

Or to put it another way, “These movies are fun, but they could be more interesting and meaningful if not for capitalism.”

...The question becomes, how do we get across all this nuance in this hypothetical show? For one, there’d probably need to be some critique of the capitalist ideas that lead to these problems with the movies woven throughout the plot. How much of our criticism should be focused on the flaws of the Hallmark Channel brand in particular, and how much should be more generalized?

And then we get back to the climax. Karen is angry at Sandra for letting her hatred of Hallmark movies ruin things for everyone else, and Vicky is angry at Sandra for wanting to make the story all about her. Sandra’s response to them is going to have to convey her development, how she has grown to appreciate those kinds of cheesy predictable stories... but she’s still critical of how they’re mass-produced to appeal to a specific demographic and aren’t that inclusive. A part of her would like to be the hero of one of these movies, just once, but she’s far from the only person left out by these stories. 

Where do we go from there? You’d probably have to address the “why not make your own story instead of taking over ours” argument, and... you see, it’s difficult to be nuanced and entertaining.

Of course, this is just my first or second draft of how to put together a story based on these ideas. If I ever actually made this a thing, the final plot would probably be structured very differently. For one thing, I’d need to watch a lot more Hallmark movies. In the hour of research that I did yesterday, recorded in this document (which y’all are free to comment on and add suggestions to), I discovered a podcast that discusses several individual Hallmark movies that I might just have to binge over the upcoming winter break. So that’s where we’re at now. I hope somebody enjoyed reading my ramblings about a project that will never come to be.

[dahniwitchoflight]

minor AU Completion of the Beta Kid’s Animal Symbolism

so something I’ve always thought about and wondered about, I wanna talk about for a bit, now that homestuck’s over and I’m rereading it going through the story

all of the beta kids throughout the story have unique animal related symbolism, that eventually ties into delving into greater parts of their characters, exploring even what you might consider the “darker side” to their characters, sometimes to the point of representing their inverted states/jungian shadow selves nicely tied into the idea of “lower bestial natures” being at odds with their true human natures

and these culminate and get fully cashed in by tragic/failed alternate versions of each beta kid that gets somehow mixed with their respective animal (usually through sprite shenanigans) and ends up in some way dealing with their inner issues a bit

Jade’s Dreamself (who was always very silly and prone be overemtional) dies under prospit’s moon, gets stuffed, and later resurrected as a JadeBecsprite who represents Jade’s inner tragic emotional states

Dave gets trapped in an alternate timeline with Rose, but then goes back in time after learning the ins and outs of the game, only to sec prototype as Davesprite and earn wings, and then forevers deals with the depression and aftermath of never being “Alpha” Dave ever again

Rose eventually dies in a pre retcon timeline fighting the condesce, and her corpse is thrown into Roxy’s sprite post retcon, which then merges with Jaspersprite to make Jasprosesprite^2 and which post retcon Rose is herself embarrassed by the inner revelations revealed by this character, who has itself lost all inhibitions due to the animal prototyping

but John never really gets anything of the sort, but in reality, there was a GREAT opportunity for him to have something like this happen to him, early on in the story, that doesn’t actually change much of the story at all

so this is kind of a “what if this had happened instead?” minor AU where some minor details were a little different

because the animal candidate I’m thinking of that could have had something to do with John personally in the above way, already has a great setup for this: none of its own character/personality/dialogue as it was just a programmed toy robot, minimal invasion into the plot (and most only in regards to John’s Dad related things), viewed John as it’s sole master and had a nice clean death via Green Sun explosion in Cascade

and that is the Uber Bunny Robot known as Liv Tyler

and the alternate version John candidate I’m thinking of is the John that got tricked by Terezi into facing Typheus too early and getting killed by him, causing the doomed timeline where Davesprite is from

this John also has a great setup for this, because at first we get exactly 5 or so pages describing what went down in the Doomed timeline, and all of it from Dave and Rose’s perspective, we know nothing of what really happened in that John Typheus encounter, other than “John died and thus was unavailable to help Jade enter the game”, we also get a little bit more later, when we see the Ghost of this John have a chat with a dead version of Vriska much much later in the story. John says there was more to his death than he let on, he died, but not in a fight with his denizen, because he spoke with Typheus, and knew that his death was necessary for his friends to live on, he made his Choice to die, for the sake of the timeline

and because this alternate John and Liv Tyler have a huge chunk of symbolism in common, all of which ties directly back to John, and more specifically, John’s opposite aspect Blood

the first is, the same Liv Tyler Bunny plush was given to John by all three of his friend’s on his same birthday through time shenanigans

Dave gives him the original plush rabbit, which is the actual original rabbit from the one nic cage movie john really loves, when John ecto’s all the babies, he dramatically re-enacts the con air nic cage scene from that movie (reunite with your loving wife and daughter) and gives the rabbit to Rose

Rose in this reality grows up with the rabbit as her own sentimental youthful object, its old and torn growing up with her, so she knits it back together using the needles that John gifted to her and gives it to John on his birthday

John then gives this rabbit to Baby Jade in the same reunite with loving wife and daughter scene

and finally, Jade with her then alt universe penpal Jake, send it back and forth, making robotic upgrades and enhancements and equipping it with all kinds of awesome gear:  the Warhammer Of Zillyhoo, the Quills of Echidna, the Royal Deringer, and Ahab's Crosshairs, which match the Strife Specibi of the beta kids. She does this because she foresaw John would be in danger and wanted to send something to help him fight

this rabbit is the literal embodiment of Johns strongest friendship bonds 3 times over, the literal physical manifestation of his Blood

and then Typheus!John is only able to get to Typheus because Terezi through Sollux helped him removed the 3 random objects stuck in his rocket, 3 random objects, that just so happen to be object that appear in Dave’s, Rose’s and Jade’s houses: a cinderblock, a violin and a potted plant

so again, a connection to John’s connection to all 3 of his friends

now here’s where the AU kicks in:

John is still tricked into meeting his denizen early, preserving the timeline with Davesprite and whatnot, however his choice to die to preserve the reality where his friends continue to exist has another part to it

Not only does Typheus allow him to choose to become a ghost to preserve the alpha timeline, but also gives John a sort of challenge, with a potential boon at the end

If John as a ghost can break out of his extra hard dream bubble coma, break out of his memories, remember the choice he made to help save his friends/the timeline, he may be allowed to manifest in a different physical form instead, in order to continue helping his friends/his new alpha self survive the game

all the panels where dead Vriska meets him and helps him to jog his usually hard to jog memory compared to the other ghosts still happen, but the ending is different, because of the extra challenge/boon Typheus gave him. When John remembers fully, he remembers the boon Typheus left him/how to use it, probably something like, a one use portal window thing that transports his ghost back into the physical realm, so he’s kinda in the same state Aradia was as a ghost in Alternia

so he finds somewhere where the uber bun exists, some point before it actually gets to his dreamself on prospit (doesn’t actually matter where)

and then it’s revealed after the fact, that everything Liv Tyler did upon activation at Prospit was actually the choices made by this alternate universe dead spirit version of John

it’s viable because as a robot made by Jade and Jake, it has the ability to potentially house a soul/life, just like Jade’s dreambot for her dreamself (or again, earth version of the tech that Equius made for Aradia, lot of weird Aradia parallels here, but that really only helps this AU) and something that helps is that the bun likely wasn’t built with any way to naturally communicate, no pesterchum in it like lil hal, nor a voicebox, again making a connection to this being a John which has to internally deal with/overcome that he is no longer the “important” John, but this time he’s simultaneously back with all of his friends, and cut off from them at the same time, similar to Davesprite, but also in a having no mouth and must scream kind of way (relating to symbolism of Breath = Speech/communication/mail) being the opposite of his natural element, in an unhealthy place, similar in situation to how Lil Hal was an A.I.  copy of Dirk, a heartless version of a heart player/out of their natural element and having to deal with that negative environmental influence

and it helps explain the few things that Liv Tyler seem to do with no direction, like help get Dad’s wallet containing the tumor (which a John would have recognized as his dad’s and picked up anyway) and getting to Dave Rose and helping them (when it’s stated Liv Tyler was supposed to view John and only John as his master, specifically built that way by Jade for that purpose, to protect John)

the package hes in goes through it’s shenanigans like usual, one minor change could be instead of Jack Noir wielding the bunny against the black queen to get her ring in rebellion, he could simply use one of the many regiswords/assassination requests he apparently gives out like candy, like the one he gave to PM, and the bun merely stays in the box until it’s delivered to PM and then John himself and Bun!John recognizes John and becomes his protector

but then you could just make the point in time that Alt!John merges with the bun the point where Liv Tyler’s allegiances switch to helping John from Jack Noir, so the above is just moot anyway

he stays with John for awhile, then fulfills his major mission in helping get the tumor to Rose and Dave and help them to survive/god tier in the correct time and place/again preserve the timeline, fulfilling the idea of him wanting to come back for the purpose of wanting to keep his friends safe/putting his bonds above his own internal state and self to the point of self sacrifice during the green’ sun’s explosion (again, another point for his blood overpowering his breath)

so yeah, you can see, despite all my text it doesn’t actually change much in the plot! the biggest thing could be Jack Noir not using it for the Black Queen (cuz lets be honest he didn’t really need to, his betrayal would have caught her off guard enough to grab the ring) but really just depends on where you choose to do it

AND instead of this flash: https://www.homestuck.com/story/5027 which was more comedic, we could potentially get a string of panels showing what John was thinking and feeling as the Bun Robot, so close and yet so far away from all his friends, completely alone in his own thoughts and with his only motivation being to make sure his friends survive the game, maybe in thought bubbles or code like Serenity the firefly, showcasing the sort of mental descent and depression that John is really prone to, showing how he could end up in a state where he willingly dies for his friends for their sake

I think it’s a great missed opportunity to be honest and at the very least it’s a very neat little AU Idea

and the way it’s set up would be like an awesome shock reveal too

but then also, John is already compared to nic cage so much it’s not even funny

and John himself makes the symbolic connection between nic cage being just like the rabbit “dirty, worn, old, but it’s what on the inside that counts” simultaneously making that connection to himself when he’s inside the rabbit, because it’s bot his outward appearance that matters, what matters is that He’s still John on the inside, still your best friend guys, I’m right here...

and homestuck has a pattern of turning old jokes into new serious content, so it’s not like it doesn’t fit

and if a few panels are thrown in of a ghostly spirit wandering a bit before settling on the bun inside jade’s gift, it can help establish that Alpha John later would become truly intangible and floating through not just earth, but all of homestuck itself

anyway, those are my thoughts for this idea, I think there’s a lot to go on here

the only thing thats not involved are sprite shenanigans, but If I could find a way to involve those then I would :P

maybe instead of dying at the green sun with Dave and Rose he somehow gets thrown into an sprite somewhere and becomes actual RoboBunJohnsprite (even though everything’s taken already and can’t be altered) maybe it can happen instead of Tavris or GCATavris who knows is BunJohn even survives somehow

shenanigans! shenanigans i say

[permian-tropos]

might as well set down my full case for the extreme shippability of gallirae, for that twitter person’s sake (that’s my excuse but hey, I can vent by being positive about things I like)

step one would be to explain why I think they have canonical sexual tension and the point I like start with is the fact that Adea tells Sloane she wanted to “be with them both”. we already know she’s sleeping with Rax and honestly book 1 leaves plenty of room to imagine Adea has a thing for Sloane so why don’t we imagine Adea is bisexual as hell and has had a thing for the both of them, and wanted a sugar mommy and a sugar daddy simultaneously but if they couldn’t get along she’d pick one

Sloane is the one who doesn’t see it like that. but Adea admires Sloane for being ambitious and powerful and in a position to rule the Empire and create a new galactic order. this is the same case she makes for Rax, and she seems frustrated that Sloane can’t see how well they’d go together.

given that Adea and Rax’s only scene together has them talking about whether Sloane will join them and Rax is the one who’s confident about it (and Adea is the hesitant one) I feel free to imagine that an initial condition of their relationship was “we’re going to be a hot problematic threesome with Sloane”. and if Adea can ship them together why can’t I?

but moving on. why do I imagine Rax being into Sloane? well besides the fact that he keeps her around and stokes her ambitions even as he knows she wants him dead, the fact that he flatters her and makes himself her advisor even though he outranked her in book 1, and talks about how much he wants her to be a part of his galaxy-ruling business.

there’s also the fact that he gives her a mixtape of his most emotionally resonant piece of music, the opera that he associates with escaping a life of poverty and misery. it’s not an act of manipulation, because there’s no clear intended effect, it’s just a way for him to share a piece of himself in a rather awkward and indirect way. he makes choices on Jakku over and over that avoid killing Sloane in the moment, and his final moments aren’t anger at her for defeating him but regret over his own failures. he might assume the planet will explode or that she’ll be taken prisoner by the New Republic and he could let that be revenge but he wants Sloane to live and rule his Empire. he considers her a “fellow outcast” likely from their backgrounds being lower class which Sloane responds to and doesn’t dispute.

why would Sloane be into Rax? well there’s the fact that she considers herself “seduced” by him and asks herself if she’s “falling for his strange way” after he gives her a flirty smirk during the Shadow Council meeting even though in that moment she’s furious at him. “she hates him, but she admires him too”. a lot of the metaphorical language her POV scenes use to describe her fear, hatred, or apprehension of Rax also have a suggestive element to them, whether he’s a sea before a storm or a snake in her bed or a predator who wants to pick out and eat the juiciest bits of her flesh and at that point I have to blush just retelling what’s written in the book! the scene where she listens to the music brings back the ocean metaphor but has it be a “gentle wave that calls her out to sea” (bear in mind she’s in bed while she’s listening to it) and “its ethereal beauty haunts her”. since the ocean has been used to describe Rax and the opera itself represents him, it feels like a metaphor for a sexual encounter — or Sloane’s desire for one.

I think it’s extremely easy to read canon where Sloane is attracted to Rax and finds him intimidating and overwhelming for that reason, and she is especially disgusted and angry and put off by him any time he does something that seems to Zone her as a platonic political ally or a pawn in his game. she takes a lot of his betrayals extremely personally, in ways she doesn’t with characters like Vidian or even Adea. she is basically cyberstalking Rax throughout book 2 and real stalking him throughout book 3 and she has perfectly good political reasons for it but the intense emotions attached could be both dread of his creepiness and deep Frustration. she has several moments where she mentions having no children or husband or wife and you could imagine her career with the evil Empire as the war went on has been very unhealthy and draining and isolating. she’s a bit deprived and starting to get depressed about it, though she weathered it for a long time. loneliness takes its toll on everyone eventually.

so you could read Rax and Sloane as both being hampered in their capacity for healthy romance by their ambitions and flaws and emotional hangups and general evilness. Rax is avoidant and vague and nihilistic about his desire for Sloane, and Sloane is aggressive and bitter and fearful about her desire for Rax.

so obviously the idea of them overcoming these roadblocks and succumbing to their desires is Hot As Fuck

and I consider them to be extremely hot when they’re in conjunction with each other because they’re obviously terrible people but they complement each other’s terribleness. they have two different strains of fascist brain worms and their collusion and subsequent falling out is to me a great place to pick apart the toxicity of both their ideologies. their ability to destroy each other’s faith in their own megalomaniac space nazi delusions is HOT because tearing down fascist delusions is good and narratively cathartic.

the fact that they’re locked in mortal combat is kind of necessary to this. they’re not going to reject a whole ideology if there isn’t an extreme pressure to do so. this is why I enjoy their moments together in canon. particularly with Sloane’s hatred — everything Rax does calls her faith in the Empire into question and it might not be his intention and the struggles might not be romanticizable but their canon doesn’t have to end up in a romantic or pleasant situation for it to set up fascinating conflicts.

they’re also aesthetically hot. Rax is described as pale and dark haired and black-eyed and he smirks a lot and says corny pretentious crap and wears sumptuous red robes and listens to opera and has a shipboard garden. he also has a tragic backstory as a cult-raised orphan on a desert world, conscripted and groomed for his position as the Contingency by Darth Emperor Sheev himself! so he’s a sad traumatized fuckboy too, teeming with suppressed self-loathing and coping mechanisms. he deserved to get murdered and I appreciate that he does but I still find him a glorious and perhaps personally relatable disaster. his deep fixation on and love of stories should technically be relatable to everyone on here but for me it seems to resonate especially strongly.

Sloane is the one with an official character design and she is Very Hot with her dark complexion and broad shoulders and handsome features only slightly touched by age. her hair is a bit long for an Imperial (not too many women overall) and she canonically is pleased with it and rightly so, it’s gorgeous, and the white streak is oddly cute. and she’s also got this stern commanding air but you can imagine her being suppressed about various desires just like Rax is and so obviously it’s great to imagine those desires breaking through. she is kind of a jock nerd, a former boxer who also loves research and libraries and math. her determination and badassery is as aesthetically enjoyable as her moments of fatigue and despair and folly. she’s a complicated person, with plenty of moments of badness and a fair amount of potential for goodness. and she has many moments from POV sections where you could extrapolate into a quirk or peculiar trait, instead of considering the quirkiness artistic license (ie. the ghost retinue, her being overly familiar with or possessive of people in her thoughts). she’s snarky and casually self-centered and staunch in her ideologies but also constantly suppressing empathy or unease.

I like the fact that Rax is a rather flamboyant and effeminate man and Sloane is a pragmatic and masculine woman. I know it’s bad to villify gender noncomformity but frankly I just am super weak for that het dynamic, it works well with my own gender feelings, sue me

the ship comes packaged with so many aesthetics and features; a cursed sort of wasteland with Jakku, the Opera, failed attempts at galactic conquest, a viable side OT3 with Adea, Palpatine’s bullshit hanging over both of them, plenty of action and intrigue, options for canon divergences where they rule side by side, or divergences where they are forced to expel their fascist brain worms and start on a road of ideological and emotional recovery.

they are given a ton of parallels in canon, with their backstories trying to stow away on ships to escape their homeworlds as children, their weird fixation on predators and prey, to their desires for revenge or glory, their willingness to dispose of their allies, often using the same language culminating in them finishing each other’s sentences, improvising bluffs and distractions tailored to the other’s personality on the fly.

and their relationship, such as it is, ends with extreme violence and cruelty and suffering. given their high levels of participation in the big bad autocratic space regime it’s no less than either of them deserved. neither of them work through their deep and extreme issues. yet it feels like there’s room for both to change, since Rae questions her faith in the Empire and Gallius questions Palpatine’s narrative of destiny.

so if I imagine them together but unable to throw down with murder duels (because they decide to care about each other) they might be forced to completely change, and that’s a really compelling dynamic arc

and there you have it. that’s not even everything. but it’s a lot of it and it’s way way more than is ever necessary to justify a ship.

[littlemisssquiggles]

Saw your post about Oscar having the relic advancing the plot, and I don't disagree with you. However, I also kind of see it in a different way: that as a leader, each decision Ruby makes--such as entrusting the relic to Oscar--can have consequences, and that they have to learn to deal with them, especially when loved ones are involved. I'm not saying that's where the writers are going with it, but if I had written it, that would've been my reason for doing so. Does that make sense?

Salutations anon-chan! Your point makes sense however sadly for me, it’s not enough to override the almighty power of plot convenience. Because now I’m prompted to ask the question, why even have Oscar carry the Relic around in the first place?

Why have someone carry the lamp at all? Wouldn’t it have not been a wiser choice to place the Relic within a heavily protected vault under the watchful eye of the Atlesian Military where no one within the public would be aware of its whereabouts as opposed to having it be carried around on a keychain on the waist of a young huntsman in training out in the open where people can definitely see it; like the villains?

At the start of V6, during the Argus Train attack, Ozpin revealed that the Grimm were also attracted to the Relics. This one statement was the catalyst to so much friction within the hero team because not only did it result in them temporarily splitting up to provide the passengers of the Argus Limited a better chance of survival but it also led to the spat between Yang and Oz which ultimately culminated in the first summoning of Jinn and the revelation of the truth.

Either way, the point was made that carrying the Relic around just as it is as opposed to locking it somewhere like a vault will eventually bring danger to whoever is carrying it in the form of the Grimm. As a matter of fact, wasn’t the whole point of the heroes heading to Atlas was because without the Spring Maiden to seal the Relic back within its own vault, the group had no choice but to set a course for Atlas Kingdom so the Relic would be safe there.

“…We need to take the Relic to Atlas?”

“That’s what Oz said.”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

“I mean Brightside, we finally get out of this house

“Trust me, I’m not crazy about it either. But without the Spring Maiden here to seal the Relic back in its vault, it’s our best option.” – RWBY V6 Chapter 2

But just a few moments after the heroes touched down in Atlas, the Relic of Knowledge was taken from the them by Clover Ebi of the Ace Ops. The next time our heroes see the Relic, it was in Ironwood’s custody. But rather than keep the Relic and place it somewhere secured; Ironwood instead gives the Relic back to our heroes—the same heroes who almost died on their journey to transporting this Grimm-attracting Relic to Atlas where they believed it would’ve been taken into more secure hands.

I’m just going to come right out and say it anon-chan. Ironwood returning the Relic to our heroes didn’t make sense. At least, not to me. I can’t speak for everyone. Outside of the lamp being used as a token of trust, it did not make sense to me that Ironwood would just give it back to our heroes like that. Ironwood knows fully well the importance of the Relics and the importance of keeping them out of the public eye. And given what transpired at the Fall of Beacon and the Battle of Haven, Ironwood should be fully aware that there are people after the lamp.

So why not put it somewhere safe within your kingdom? Why give it back to our heroes ESPECIALLY when they brought it to your kingdom to keep it safe? What?

I’m sorry but that doesn’t make sense given previously established details in the narrative. Particularly the part that, as is, the Relic is a hazard outside of a vault since it can attract Grimm.

“…Yang, knock it off will ya. If we lose our cool now, we’ll just be inviting more Grimm.”

“Does that even matter? Apparently we’ve been attracting Grimm since we left Haven.”

“Oh and how could I forget about that? What happened to no more lies andhalf-truths?”

“Yeah. I think it’s time we got an explanation.”

“I did not lie to you.”

“Well you certainly didn’t tell us everything about the Relic.”

“Please, now is not the time.”

“No we’re past that!”

“I wanna know why you’re still not telling us everything.”

“It is true that the Grimm are attracted to the Relics. It’s faint but undeniable.I believe it has to do with their origin. I’m not entirely sure…” – RWBY V6 Chapter 2

And as if Ironwood returning the Relic to Ruby didn’t feel odd enough, Ruby then returns the lamp to Oscar. 

Why?

Again, I see what the show was trying to do in a sense. Like I said, the Relic was being used as a token of trust between characters. Ironwood gave the Relic back to Ruby as an action to show that she can trust him and Ruby entrusting the Relic with Oscar is synonymous with her trust in him; especially considering the fact that back in Anima, the Relic was taken away from Oscar after what happened with Oz and there was that whole tension in the group.

So when I put it in that light, I like the idea of Ruby giving the Relic back to Oscar as a sign of showing her renewed trust in him in spite of what happened with Oz. It’s a nice touch and a nice moment between the Rosegardening Rosebuds.

But then the ole noggin starts thinking and common sense creeps back in followed up by canon details left behind from previous seasons and I’m reminded yet again that Oscar shouldn’t have the lamp because Ruby shouldn’t have the lamp.

Ironwood shouldn’t have given the lamp back to the heroes in the first place. He should have taken it and placed it inside a vault where it could’ve been secured and out of the public eye without the need to make Oscar an obvious target for Neo and Cinder to go after as part of the V7 finale.

At first I was willing to look past the weird decision by Ironwood (and by extension the Writers) to give the Relic back to our heroes. I was even willing to look past Ruby giving the lamp to Oscar since I figured it was going to have some kind of meaningful payoff like Oscar possibly using the Relic to reveal the truth to Ironwood when Ruby’s choice to deceive him got out of hand and she found herself in a position mirroring Ozpin from last season.

Instead what we received was Oscar showing up at Schnee Manor with the Relic and in spite of all the revelations that went down—i.e. Jacques being outted for his alliance with Watts by Weiss, Ironwood revealing to existence of Salem to the Atlesian Council and Robyn Hill—none of it involved the Relic being used at all. So why have Oscar show up with Relic at all?

Well, you might say it’s because since Oscar was entrusted with the Relic, it’d make sense for him to carry it around with him at all time for safe keeping, right?

But the thing with that is, it still doesn’t make sense since in previous scenes this season, Oscar was shown to not have the Relic with him at all times. He didn’t have the Relic on him during his training sessions with Ironwood and his battle with JNR against FNKI.

And before you say—well he was training then and he can’t have the Relic on him while he’s fighting— that doesn’t count since when Ruby was carrying the lamp, it didn’t hinder her during combat. She was doing all kinds of flips,twirls and slashes with the lamp conveniently stuck to her hip at all times.

Not to mention that back in V6 when Oscar had the lamp first, he fought the Manticore and the lamp stayed fine on his waist back then too. The only time the lamp conveniently fell off was after the train crash.

So going again—Oscar didn’t keep the lamp with him while he was training with his peers. He didn’t have it with him when he was watching the others train at the start of V7CH6. He didn’t have it with him when he was down in the Vault of the Winter Maiden with Ironwood and he also didn’t have it with him at the start of V7CH8 during his briefing with Team RWBY.

V7CH3 = RELIC IS GIVEN TO OSCAR

V7CH5 = NO RELIC ON OSCAR

V7CH6 = NO RELIC ON OSCAR

V7CH7 = NO RELIC ON OSCAR

V7CH8 (AT THE BEGINNING) = NO RELIC ON OSCAR

V7CH8 (AT SCHNEE MANOR) = RELIC ON OSCAR ???

To tell you the truth, Schnee Manor was the first time I saw Oscar carrying the lamp for this season. 

It was so out of the blue that I didn’t even pick up on it until another FNDM fam pointed it out to me. Why would Oscar even bring the lamp to the dinner in the first place?

Like I said, he was never shown to carry the Relic around in previous scenes so why have him do i tnow all of suddenly especially if the only thing to come of it later was Oscar being benched from Mantle to go back to the academy.

That’s why I said Oscar having the Relic was only to advance the PLOT; anon-chan.

It’s fine if you think otherwise and I appreciate you presenting your own rationale for this narrative decision. Unfortunately, this squiggle meister can’t really buy into it.

Oscar bringing the Relic to the Schnee Dinner only to end up not using it at all felt so weird to me that the only logical conclusion that I can make from it is that it was done solely for the sake of pushing the PLOT.

When I first saw that scene where Ironwood told Oscar that it was time for him to return up to Atlas, the first comment that escaped my lips was “They made Oscar bring the Relic so that they could have a reason to have him return to Atlas Academy as opposed to joining the others down in Mantle to help with the evacuation”.

Not only did Oscar walking with the lamp provide an excuse for the Writers to write him out of the Battle of Mantle but it also provided them a way to have Neo spot Oscar with the lamp, thus leading to him being targeted by her for the finale.

While I don’t mind the set-up of Neo targeting Oscar for the Relic since it lends to a chance for us Pineheads to finally see the little barn prince in action at long last, I just didn’t like the execution of this set-up. 

It reminded me of how Weiss just so happened to run into her mom inside her father’s perfectly unlocked office who just so happened to have the info she needed to out her father for his crimes.

It looks like it’s not just Weiss who got a splash of Clover’s good fortune. Neo did too because how lucky was she that the night she disguised herself as a server at the Schnee Family Dinner,also happened to be the night our heroes attended the very same party. 

Not to mention, how lucky was Neo that that was also the night Oscar happened to walk with the Relic even though he hasn’t been shown to walk around with it in previous episodes.

I’m sorry if I’m sounding incredibly nit-picky here but…I think I know a plot convenience when I see one and this was definitely a glaring one, at least for me. But as always, this is only my opinion. 

~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Will you do your fave book? Or if you already did it, the next fave? And so on...

Short opinion: I am constantly torn between wishing that The Beginning was twice its actual length and being in awe that Applegate manages to cram so much into a sparse 156 pages.

Long opinion: 

As I mentioned here, #54 is actually my favorite book in the series.  I’m probably the only fandalite on the planet for whom that is true, but I am a complete and utter sucker for tragedy. And this is tragedy in its purest form.  Tragedy is frustratingly hard to find in contemporary American stories, because it offers no happiness or culmination at the end.  Bad guys don’t always get punished; good guys don’t ever get medals from princesses or happy retirements into the sunset or reunions with lost loved ones; the very notions of “bad” and “good” get irreversibly complicated.  A tragedy is the story of well-intentioned and deeply sympathetic protagonist(s) coming to a bad end that is at least partially one’s own fault, at least partially the fault of random Shit Happens, and entirely coherent and fitting with the tiny cascade of random events that led to the fall of a lightning-struck tower.  

The purpose of comedy (i.e. stories with happy endings) is easy entertainment.  The purpose of tragedy is to inspire fear and horror through making the audience wonder whether it is possible for each of them to meet a similar end.  With the arguable exception of Cassie, every one of the Animorphs gets his or her own tragedy in the end.  This series is a war epic about the costs of violence.  It was never going to have a happy ending.

Rachel’s loss, in the opening moments, is the most obvious character culmination of the series.  She has been struggling for months if not years to define herself outside of the war, attacked on all sides (her best friend, her boyfriend, her cousin and field commander, her own mother) for the very role that they all nonetheless demand that she perform in order to keep them all safe, not only from the yeerks but from themselves.  Rachel has been the team’s first and last line of defense since the EGS tower battle (#7), and has all-but taken on the title of trash collector since becoming the one to handle David (#22).  Killing Tom is her final act of protecting her found family; completing the suicide run is her final ability to use her comfort with violence to do something good.  She might have done and even become terrible things, but she ultimately succeeds in turning that terror against an even greater evil in her last moments of life.

Arguably the next domino to fall is Tobias.  I’m with Cates: his is the ending I find the least satisfying, because it devalues his friendship-cum-familyhood with Ax.  However, I also can’t say that Applegate didn’t set that ending up.  As early as #13 Tobias shows worrying signs of codependency with Rachel; as early as #3 he proves willing to retreat into his hawk side when the going gets tough.  The scene where “Ken and Barbie” disturb his self-imposed exile through their simple reminder of humanity suggests that Tobias’s retreat isn’t nearly as complete as he’d like it to be, but then he’s never been able to escape being human no matter how hard he tries (see: #3, #33, #43, #49).

Part of what I find so fascinating about Jake’s character arc (fascinating enough that I wrote a goddamn novel or two on the subject) is how much his family story starts complicating this hyper-normative idea of married-parents-two-kids-fenced-backyard-golden-retriever-nice-neighborhood-white-upper-middle-class familyhood starting right in the first book, and how it only makes things worse once the war is over. Jake’s family continues to look “perfect” (i.e. normative) from the moment he first gets home and joins his brother and parents (and resident yeerk) for a home-cooked dinner in #1 all the way up until the alien inside his mom is firing a dracon beam at him from the front seat of her minivan, putting the first scar on the otherwise flawless siding on the facade of their two-story McMansion in #49.  So it’s only natural that Jake’s first thought on committing fratricide in the immediate aftermath of mass murder is to wonder “how would [he] explain this to [his] parents,” and it makes a fair amount of sense that he basically tries to retreat back to that safe haven he (unlike all of his friends) has before the war begins (#54).  But Jake can’t go home; home isn’t there for him to retreat to anymore.  His desire to retreat back to his childhood home borders on pathological, since in many ways he’s older than his parents have ever been, and he’s gone beyond the point where he could ever hope to give his burdens back to them.  

And then there are three.  And then two.

There are two details about Ax’s role in the final book that I find really fascinating.  The first is that line (which I quote all the time, because I find it so revelatory) where Cassie describes herself and Marco as “the only two real survivors” of the war (#54).  Why isn’t Ax included in the list of “survivors” along with Cassie and Marco, even though he’s alive and (physically) well at the time?  My guess would be the hints that he is, in his own way, just as addicted to risk and violence as Rachel ever was.  He doesn’t know how to survive without the war, which leaves him “looking for trouble” in his “boredom”—right up until he recklessly stumbles upon enough “trouble” to get his entire crew killed (#54).  That chapter also contains the other fascinating detail: it’s labeled “Aximili,” not “Ax” the way his chapters are in all the Megamorphs books.  Ax has at least partially given up on the identity he fought so hard to forge throughout the entire book series.  He has retreated back into being what his society expects him to be: a leader, a warrior, and an andalite who does not concern himself much with alien cultures.  He continues playing that role, apparently indifferent to what is happening with Tobias and the others on Earth, right up to his death.

Quick side note: I find it so cool (by which I mean excruciatingly painful) that each of the Animorphs gets what they wanted in the first books in the series—and that those dreams prove to be so hollow once achieved.  Rachel gets eternal glory, and the ultimate thrill ride along the way (#2).  Ax surpasses Elfangor in reputation and respect (#8).  Jake fulfills his daydreams of being treated as a superhero (#2), and of going home to his family (#1).  Marco gets to be not only “an entire episode of Stupid Pet Tricks” but quite possibly the most famous person alive (#2).  Tobias escapes his life and manages once and for all to “fly free” (#3).  Cassie finds a non-violent way to change the world (#4); she even gets to be a horse for a while along the way (#29).  And it’s nothing like any of them thought it would be.  None of their childhood dreams have much feasibility or even appeal by the time they are some of the weariest, most mature and worn-out adults of their generation.  Only Cassie manages to find satisfaction in getting everything she ever wanted.

Only Cassie… because Marco’s not quite a “survivor” either.  He brags about his fame and materialism, sure—but then we’ve never been able to trust Marco’s narration.  (See: the amount of time he spends obfuscating and/or lying to the reader in #30, #25, #15, and #35.)  If you ask Marco outright, everything’s fine and it always has been.  But then Marco describes Jake and Tobias showing up with an offer of a suicide mission as “everything around me turned translucent, like it was all fake… an old reality emerged from beneath the illusion” (#54).  Even before that scene, it’s striking just how much time Marco spends obsessing over Jake.  Marco freely admits to Cassie that he acquired an eagle morph for the specific purpose of following Jake around to spy on him, spends almost half the alleged description of his own life talking about how poorly Jake is functioning, and actually talks Jake into leading his crazy suicide mission for Jake’s own sake.  What Marco doesn’t mention—and what we can assume from Jake’s own narration doesn’t happen—is him actually picking up the phone to call Jake and ask him if he wants to talk.  The flash and glam and seven cars and heated pool and personal butler are yet more misdirection; Marco’s not okay.  He’s just telling us about all the ways Jake’s not okay because that’s safer than admitting his own vulnerability.  Jake says “Marco, you were bored out of your mind” and Marco unhesitatingly agrees (#54).  Marco spends so much time trying to convince everyone of how very happy he is with materialism and Hollywood glam that he fools Cassie, he fools Tobias, he all but fools himself… but he never fools Jake.  Which is why he has to keep Jake at arm’s length, no matter how much his guilt at doing so might eat him up as he’s sitting around watching Jake watching Rachel’s grave in the middle of the night.

And then there’s Cassie.  Cassie who I’ve compared to an anti-Susan Pevensie, Cassie who finds a man who treats her right and uses power for good without resorting to violence.  Marco, who was the last to join the war effort, might have eventually been able to find equilibrium if he’d been willing to get a haircut and get a real job (X). Cassie, who is unafraid to work on her own and leave her team when something needs doing and they can’t help her (#19, #29, #43, #44), is already living a new normal.  Jake is right when he says that Cassie’s “a one-woman army,” and he’s right that she’s “the soldier who has fought her war and moved on.”  The two Animorphs with the least “addiction” to the war emerge from the other side the most intact (#22). Cassie’s never going to be the same person she was, but she understands that.  She doesn’t try to hide from the past, she doesn’t try to retreat into it; she picks herself up and figures out a way to live on her own.  She shows that there’s hope for life after war, but also that there’s no returning to childhood.  She lives, and keeps on living, even after two (maybe three, maybe five) of her fellow Animorphs have been eaten alive by the war.  Because right from the start, Cassie has been comfortable with leaving her team behind—and in the end, she leaves her team behind, and she can’t save a single goddamn one of them.

It’s not a happy ending.  It’s not a comforting ending.  It’s not the kind of ending that suggests people get what they deserve and deserve what they get.  It doesn’t offer the comfortable reassurance that the right ends will justify any means.  It’s the kind of ending that gets in your head, burrows down deep, reads through your memories, and won’t leave you alone.

Don’t get me wrong: I love these characters.  They were my heroes and my idols and my ink-and-paper friends throughout my childhood.  They’ve taught me as much as a lot of real people I’ve known in my life, and there’s a part of me that does want them to live happily ever after.  But if they did, they would lose a lot of the realness that makes them so precious and so painful to love in the first place.