#every Human Body i’ve been drawing lately has just ended up looking so weird and i’ve had to fiddle with it so much

[codgod-moved]

girlies [gender neutral] i think i’ve forgotten how to draw A Person

[seriouslysnape]

Hi!❣️ Your writing is pretty cool, and I love the way you portray Sev, especially!

If it isn't a bother, of course... Could I make a request? Where Snape and the Reader are expecting, and go through all the nine months (like, through things like cravings, mood swings Snaddy has to endure, buying the child's stuff and decorating the room, all of that), till delivery? Only if you'd like the 'prompt', of course.

Wish you a nice day☺️

I LOVE THISSSSSS. YES DAD SEV >>>

__

Paternal Figure

Severus Snape x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language, Emetephobia, Sexual implications.

Word Count: 5,161

“We’re going to be one happy family.”

__

“How much longer?” Severus questioned, eyeing the pregnancy test that was lying face down on the bathroom counter.

You looked at your wrist watch that was secured on your trembling hand. You saw that it had been more than enough time for the pregnancy test to do its job. A quivering sigh flowed from your chest as you reached for the test with trembling fingers.

“It should be ready.” You replied.

Severus sat up straighter from where he sat on the bathroom floor, his blood pumping with eagerness and nervousness. You held the test to your chest for a second with your eyes closed and head lulled towards the ceiling.

You and Severus wanted a baby badly. After being married for a few years, the baby fever was becoming harder to resist between the two of you combined. It started out as a casual thing. Severus first briefly mentioned how there was still an empty room in the house that needed to be occupied. You assumed that he meant as an office space or maybe even a large walk in closet.

But when Severus suggested that the two of you turn that space into a nursery, you knew what he was implying. You had always wanted to have kids with Sev. In the beginning, Severus wasn’t totally sure how he felt about having a baby. He wasn’t great with younger people, and he was always afraid he wouldn’t be a good dad.

However, the longer the two of you were together and the more life you shared together, the more he wanted nothing more than to put a baby in you. He wanted to raise a child and teach it all the wonders of the wizarding world. He wanted your baby to be perfect.

The two of you sat and chatted for a long time about it, not wanting to rush into things. It was a huge deal after all; bringing a human into the world was a life changing ordeal. You talked it over, and you both happily agreed that you would start trying for a baby.

You admittedly became a little obsessed with getting pregnant in the first few months. You tracked your menstrual and ovulation cycles much more than usual, eventually memorizing everything down to the minute. You tried any wizard (and even a few Muggle) tricks in the book to increase your chances of conceiving, including basically pouncing on Severus any chance he was around.

If you had a free minute to spare, you were shoving him into bed and having sex with him. At first, Severus found it rather endearing that you were so excited to have a kid, but he became concerned as time went on. Getting pregnant isn’t always a quick process. Some women can so much as look at their husband and get results while some spend a better half of their life trying to even get a positive pregnancy test.

You were proving to be one of the harder cases.

With each negative pregnancy test, the more frantic you became. You felt like your fertility window was closing in on you rapidly, and if you didn’t get pregnant soon, it’d be too late. The first few negatives didn’t phase you much, but by the fifth or sixth, you were feeling discouraged. Severus was much more patient than you during all of this, holding you flush to him when you burst into tears of frustration.

It had become a monotonous and vicious cycle. You’d try to get pregnant, buy a pregnancy test, get a negative result, and fall into a weeping heap onto the bathroom floor. After one particularly hard let down, Severus stepped in. He was rocking your sobbing frame in his arms, hushing you and comforting you as best he could.

He suggested that the two of you take a break for a while, and that maybe you were trying too hard. The stress couldn’t have been good for you as a whole, and maybe taking a more casual approach would be best.

“Here’s what I’m thinking, my love. You and I take this step by step. We continue life as normal,” He said softly; “If you get pregnant then that’s good, and if you don’t, then we remain calm and try again. If much longer goes by, then we can go see your doctor.”

You nodded into his chest with heartbreaking sobs, agreeing that this had taken a huge toll on your body. You apologized for your crazy behavior, but Severus only gave a light laugh and kissed your head.

“No, no, my dear. Don’t be sorry. I want this just as much as you do.” He consoled, sweeping you off of the floor.

You were a bit apprehensive about Severus’ approach to this, but you were willing to try anything. Fast forward a few weeks later, and this was the first test you had taken since taking Severus’ advice.

“Sev...” You croaked out; “What if it’s negative?”

You were sitting against the door in your tiny bathroom, Severus sitting on the wall across from you. Your knees were almost touching one another’s as he replied.

“Then we accept it, take a few days, and try again. It’ll be alright, [Y/N].” He reassured, resting a hand on your knee in a loving way.

You exhaled deeply, already half expecting to be disappointed. You nodded, and quickly flipped the test so you could read it. Your heart hit your feet and bounced back into your ribcage at the sight. You were stoically silent as you stared in silence at the test.

Severus was watching with a clenched jaw, prepared to comfort you in case it wasn’t what you wanted to see. You kept looking at it for a few more seconds to make sure you weren’t dreaming. The double pink lines were as clear as day.

You were pregnant.

Tears filled your eyes, but they were tears of happiness. You turned the test so he could see it.

“It’s positive,” You said, smiling through the tears streaming your face; “We’re going to have a baby.”

Severus’ jaw fell open and stars of delight shot over his eyes. He himself gazed down at the test as if it would explode right in his hands.

“You’re pregnant...” He breathed out.

You nodded, wiping away at the tears with a genuine laugh. A blinding smile appeared on Severus’ face as he moved to pull you into a tight embrace. A few tears leaked from his eyes as well, the two of you mumbling “I love yous” to each other as you cried out the adrenaline and undeniably glee that you were feeling. It had almost been a year since you started trying, and now it seemed that it had paid off.

You were going to be parents.

__

The first trimester of your pregnancy was less than pleasant. While you were eternally grateful to be carrying your first child, you weren’t too thrilled about the symptoms that came with it. You were violently sick for the first few weeks, basically bringing back up anything you tried to hold down. Even something as mild as pumpkin juice was enough to make you sick just from the smell.

As disgusting as it was, Severus was by your side any time you fell ill.

“It’s okay, darling. Let it all out.” He soothed, rubbing circles onto your back as you let out another hurl.

You seemingly puked up everything you had eaten in the last ten years into the toilet bowl, a new groan escaping your chest every time you had a chance to take a breath. Severus kept your hair out of your face as best as he could, trying not to visibly grimace every time you threw up.

You closed the lid of the toilet for a minute, draping your arm over the top of it and resting your forehead on the heated skin of your forearm.

“Don’t look at me. I don’t want you to see me like this.” You grumbled miserably.

He gave a chuckle, and even though you couldn’t see it, he raised his left hand to reveal his silver wedding ring.

“In sickness and in health.” He said, wrapping his long legs around your from behind, resting his head on your back.

“I think this is an exception to that vow.” You joked, hoping that the relief you were feeling was to signal the end of today’s sickness.

Severus hummed.

“I think that this is exactly what it was referring to,” He corrected, his heart fluttering when you lifted your head with a weak smile; “Just as beautiful as ever.”

You snorted at that, but you were heartwarmed.

“How did I ever deserve you?” You asked, falling into his open arms.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

When you were actually able to have an appetite, you wanted any and every food imaginable. The pregnancy cravings were insanely hard to ignore, and it was even harder to ignore the weird things you craved.

“What...is that?” Severus questioned cautiously as he entered the kitchen, catching you in the middle of biting something he couldn’t even discern.

You looked at him with wide eyes and stopped mid-chomp. You didn’t respond, not even sure how to explain this to him. His gaze averted to the open pantry, and saw that mostly everything had been raided and placed on the kitchen counter. He had noticed that satisfying your cravings had proven to be the most difficult thus far. He inspected the food item in your hand and his stomach lurched when he realized what it was.

“Is that a treacle tart with...” He trailed off, barely able to finish the thought.

You finished his sentence, rather ashamed.

“...pickles.” You confessed.

Severus was sure that his face had turned a nasty shade of green at the thought of your concoction. He shuddered and made you put it down. You had always been creative and experimental in the kitchen, but this was too far.

“Okay, I’ve been supportive of every strange food combination you’ve come up with, but I draw the line at treacle pickle tarts.” He said with a voice full of amusement.

You whined.

“I know it’s weird, but I can’t help it. Everything we have sounds good.”

He scratched the back of his head. He never liked to tell you how to live your life, but there was no way that this was good for you or the baby.

“I don’t think Little One is going to appreciate pickles and desserts.” He noted, placing a hand on your very small baby bump.

“Little One” was the nickname that he had coined for your developing child. You and Severus had decided early on that you wanted to keep the baby’s gender a surprise up until delivery. Severus hated to keep referring to the baby as...well, “the baby”. So he had instinctively come up with all kinds of nicknames along the way.

“Well, I’m pretty sure that Little One is the only reason I want pickles.” You snapped back.

“It’s not the pickles. It’s the pickles with the tart that I can’t stomach.” Severus explained.

You sneered at him, but Severus continued before you could snark back at him.

“I’ll tell you what, princess. How about we whip up a bunch of your favorite foods, and we’ll have a nice dinner together?” He offered.

Your belly grumbled at the sound of that. You nodded in agreement, and you and Severus prepared a heavenly meal.

On top of the all day morning sickness and the nauseating cravings, your hormones were going absolutely nuts. You had never experienced such frequent mood changes like this, and poor Severus was the victim of all your emotional outbursts. It seemed as if you were blowing up at the smallest of details.

“Damn it, Sev. How many times have I told you not to leave your socks on the floor?” You hissed, angrily picking up his dirty socks.

Severus poked his head out of the bathroom that was adjoined to your bedroom, a guilty look on his face.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I left them there.” He said truthfully.

“Just like how you didn’t realize that you left the sink faucet dripping or how you forgot to put the pillows back on the bed when you got up at 10 in the morning?” You mocked, throwing his socks into his laundry basket.

He caught how aggravated you were, and exited the bathroom to talk things over. Severus didn’t want you to be upset with him, but he knew you were just going through a lot of changes and couldn’t really control your emotions well.

“I assure you that I didn’t do those things on purpose,” He said, not even an ounce of irritation in his voice; “I’ll pick up after myself.”

His light and friendly tone made you realize that you had overreacted once again. Severus had not once lost his temper with you, no matter how bad you had nagged him. Your shoulders slumped and you looked at your feet that were close to being covered by your steadily growing bump.

You felt bad for being on his ass about something 24/7. He was trying his best to help you and make your pregnancy as comfortable as possible. You yelling at him all the time wasn’t fair to him.

“I’m sorry, Sev. It’s not you.” You uttered for the hundredth time in the last three months.

He only smiled and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Not to worry, my dear,” He mewled; “I can handle being screamed at for as long as it takes.”

__

The second trimester was actually easier than the first as far as symptoms goes. Your morning sickness had subsided, you had adapted to your ever changing hormones, and you weren’t tempted to eat everything in sight. While the symptoms were still there, they didn’t completely dictate your life.

You and Severus were well into the finer intricacies of planning for the arrival of your baby boy or girl. You were in the process of converting your extra bedroom into a nursery, which was a challenge for Severus. He was a shitty interior decorator, which wouldn’t be an issue if he hadn’t insisted that he decorate the baby’s room.

Severus wanted to be as involved as possible, never wanting you to think that he wasn’t there for you. You were ecstatic with the idea of him taking charge of the nursery, but you soon realized that wasn’t a good idea.

“We are not painting the baby’s room BLACK, Severus.” You protested, eyeing the cans of black paint on the floor.

Severus had gone out and bought all kinds of paint supplies. Paintbrushes, paint rollers, stencils, tape, etc. He was adamant about doing it all by hand (as opposed to using magic; a suggestion that he was horribly offended at), and had taken it upon himself to buy everything.

You had forgotten that there wasn’t much color interest in the world of Severus Snape.

“And why not? There’s black in other parts of the house.” He argued.

You put your hands on your hips, your back beginning to arch from the weight of your five month swelling belly.

“Yes, but this is a baby’s room. I don’t think he or she is going to like it,” You retorted back; “It’ll be too dark and...scary. I want Little One to be comfortable in here.”

Severus looked around. Perhaps, black was too extreme for such a small human. He looked a tad defeated and disappointed in himself. He was trying his hardest. You caught his dejected look.

“Oh, honey. I know you want it to be perfect,” You said, taking his face into your hands; “We can do it together. Maybe we can sneak a bit of black in here somewhere.”

He nodded.

“So, what color should we paint the room?” He asked.

You looked around this time, biting your lower lip in thought. You wanted to have gender neutral colors, and something that would be cozy for the baby.

“How about we paint the walls white? That way we can add pops of color wherever we see fit.” You said after a moment of thought.

Severus agreed, but was holding to your promise to have at least some black in the room. The nursery was an ongoing project, lasting about a week and a half. The crib was the last item placed in the room, and it was complete. You and Severus stood in the middle, basking in the finished nursery.

“It looks great, S.” You said, looking at the black painted changing table and the mobile above the crib.

“It does. I’m glad you helped me.” He admitted, eyeing the moving pictures on the walls.

You wrapped your arms around your husband’s waist, his lips falling to your head in response.

“We’re going to be one happy family.” You announced.

Severus laughed into your hair, his heart beating with hope.

“We already are.”

You had officially made it past the halfway mark, and your due date was quickly approaching. There was still so much to do, and not a lot of time to do it. Your bump was already huge, and you still had another trimester to go. You were getting to the point where swollen feet and an aching lower back was crippling your ability to go out and do much.

You were laid out on the sofa with Severus rubbing your tired feet. You were fighting the aching pain in your back and legs from the unevenly distributed weight from your midsection.

“I really need to go out today.” You winced as another round of soreness flooded your body.

Severus’ careful hands continued to massage the aching muscles of your feet.

“Why, love? You can surely go on a day where you’re feeling in higher spirits.” He said.

While he wasn’t totally wrong, you were at the point where every day was the same as the last. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t have a “higher spirits” day for a while.

“I suppose I could. But I need to get baby clothes, pacifiers, bottles.” You grunted, exhaling heavily.

You really needed to do this, but you just weren’t feeling up to it. Then you had an idea. Since Severus didn’t get to put all his effort into the nursery, you thought you could give him a second chance.

“Severus, could you possibly go out and buy baby stuff today?” You suddenly asked.

You were honestly expecting him to say no, considering he knew nothing about baby fashion. Instead, his face brightened and he leapt up from the couch.

“Of course! Why didn’t you just ask?” He queried, giddy with joy.

You laughed at his anticipation, giving him a few instructions.

“Alright, Sev. Don’t buy anything ridiculous or anything that’s made of uncomfortable material,” You said; “And do NOT get anything Slytherin related. As much as you would like it, we have no clue what Little One is going to be sorted into when he or she is old enough.”

Severus groaned.

“Not even a-”

“No Slytherin stuff.”

“Well, what about a-”

“No, Severus.”

He groaned again, but accepted your request. As badly as he wanted his daughter or son to be a Slytherin, there was always the chance that they wouldn’t be. He’d love them regardless of what House they were in, but it would tickle him to death if they were a Slytherin.

So Severus went out into Diagon Alley with extra pep in his step, jittery as he went from store to store getting stuff for his little girl or boy. Severus had never paid much attention to baby clothes, and now that he was looking, his heart was swelling with excitement.

There were so many cute sweaters, onesies, socks, and pajama sets that absolutely made Severus burst with joy. He would pick out about a dozen outfits to start out with, knowing that you’d have to go buy more once the baby was older. But each time he thought he had enough, he’d spot two or three more outfits that he just had to buy.

He could not WAIT to see his baby in all of this stuff. It had obviously been a while since he was a child, and he was amazed at all of the new things that had been invented to make parenting easier and childhood more fun.

He bought a pacifier for every day of the week, and enough toys that would last your kid through kindergarten. He bought blankets and stuffed animals and anything else that a baby MIGHT want. Your baby was going to be spoiled to the max.

Truth be told, Severus went a little overboard with his purchases. He came back with no less than ten bags full of baby materials. You not-so-gracefully lifted yourself from the couch when he entered, several bags hooked onto each of his arms. He had a proud smile plastered on his face.

“Oh Merlin, Severus! What all did you buy??” You questioned, eyes bugging out at all the goodies in front of you.

“Clothes, pacifiers, bottles. Everything you asked for.” Severus stated innocently, you rifled through the bags at all the baby wonders.

“And toys, blankets, and stuffed animals.” You finished his list.

You looked at Severus with an entertained smile, his cheeks glowing red.

“I just want Little One to be happy.” He shrugged meekly.

You let out a soft “awh” and captured his soft lips in a sweet kiss. He already loved this baby so much that it melted your heart.

“With you as their dad, they absolutely will be.”

__

You had never been happier to enter your third and final trimester. You were in the home stretch, and you were so excited to meet your baby. You were about to pop like a balloon and, quite frankly, you had enough of it. Don’t make any mistake about it, you had cherished every moment of being pregnant, but you were ready to get some somewhat decent sleep without being kicked in the ribs every 5 minutes.

Although, with a newborn around, you weren’t sure how much sleep you would get.

Over the course of your pregnancy, Severus had become more and more protective the more your baby grew. Now that your due date was only a few days out, he jumped at any sudden movement or noise. He had eyes and ears like a hawk. He came barreling into the living room, completely naked and dripping with water from where he had just stepped into the shower.

“Darling, what was that? Are you alright?” He asked frantically as if he had just heard an airstrike.

You looked up from your book, readjusting the pillow that was underneath your massive belly to support the weight.

“Severus. I sneezed.” You declared.

Relief washed over him, and he ran a hand through his damp hair.

“Oh. Do you need anything?” He asked you for the millionth time that evening.

You laughed shortly, nodding your head.

“Yes. I’m fine,” You said; “Please try to enjoy your shower.”

Severus had been on your tail nonstop for the last three weeks. Even though most pregnancies go the full 40 weeks, your doctor said that labor could be expected once you hit 36. Sev didn’t want you out of his sights in case you went into labor early. He didn’t want to miss anything.

You had begged him to break away just for a minute, for his sake and yours. He padded back to the shower, ignoring the way his heart was thumping in his chest. You went back to your book, grinning to yourself at your anxious husband.

Once Severus was showered and somewhat calmer, you had grown tired and were ready to get in bed. Growing and carrying a baby had really tanked your energy levels, but Severus didn’t mind going to bed early. As long as he knew you and the baby were safe, he was content.

He laughed out loud when you slid into bed wearing only a pair of panties and a t-shirt that you had used a spell to stretch out. It was the only sleepwear that fit you due to your risen belly.

Getting comfortable was next to impossible, but you had gotten used to it over the last few months. You didn’t mind, because you knew it’d be back to normal soon. Severus was eyeing your tummy, looking to you with expectation once you were settled.

“Go ahead, Sev.” You giggled, knowing what he wanted.

Every single night since you had been pregnant, Severus would rub your belly and tell the human growing inside of you goodnight. Severus shimmied down to where his face was in front of your bump. He lifted the shirt up to reveal your bare belly. He left a kiss on the stretched skin, carefully placing both of his hands on you.

“Hello in there,” Severus said, smiling proudly when he felt the baby move at the sound of his voice; “Are you still kicking your mother?”

You even nodded at that, thinking about all the times that the baby had soccer kicked your ribcage or hit your bladder just right. You placed one hand over one of Severus’, and put your other in his hair as he spoke.

“I’m so ready to meet you. I love you so much already. Other than Mum, I never thought I could ever love someone this much,” Severus spoke gently; “You two are my whole world.”

You rubbed his hair as you listened. Severus had been nothing short of amazing during this process. He was more than you could ever ask for. This baby was going to be loved endlessly.

“I don’t know how great of a father I’ll be. I didn’t exactly have ideal parents. I admit that I don’t have a model to go off of. But I will love you no matter what,” He spoke; “I hope you sleep well, Little One. I can’t wait to see you.”

He pressed another kiss to the side of your belly, before returning to your side. You were misty eyed at his words, turning so you were facing him.

“Oh, Severus. You’re going to be a wonderful dad. I’ve seen the way you love this child,” You assured; “Little One is going to love you. And there’s no one else I’d rather bring a baby into this world with.”

Severus still had a modest amount of nerves, but it was drowned out with joy. He was so ready for this baby.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you, Sev.” You whispered back.

You leaned to kiss him, but just as your lips touched, you felt a contraction and a massive gush of fluid flushed out between your legs, soaking both of your lower halves. A startled gasp fell from your mouth, and Severus eyes grew about three times their normal size. You both knew what that meant.

Little One was about to make his/her entrance into the world.

__

Getting to the hospital from the time that labor began was a blind rush. Severus was positively panicked, which didn’t help your attempts to remain relaxed. He had spent 9 months preparing for this moment, and he was still caught off guard.

The hospital was busy, but you had a team of nurses and doctors ready to go. You were wheeled into a delivery room, your doctor checking to see how dilated you were. He let you know that you had one of the fastest dilations he had ever seen, because you were already at 10 centimeters. There was no time for an epidural or a spell.

It was time to push.

The nurses got your legs into delivery position, Severus taking your hand as the doctor and nurses guided you through it. You gave a hard push, screaming bloody murder and squeezing the circulation out of Severus’ hand.

“You’re doing great, my love. Keep pushing.” He praised you.

Your head fell back onto the pillow with gruff, heavy breaths. You were filled with a pain you couldn’t describe. You needed this baby out. The doctor gave you a second to rest, before instructing you to push again. You took a deep breath, every muscle in your body tensing up as you pushed. Severus scrunched his nose at how badly you were hurting his hand, but he didn’t dare say anything.

The baby’s head and shoulders were out, ear splitting cries echoing through the room. It was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. Severus peeked between your legs, and you saw the way his face filled with pure love as he saw your baby for the first time.

“Oh, [Y/N]. Little One is gorgeous...” He breathed, wanting you to push again so you could be able to see; “Push again, darling. You’re almost there.”

The nurses and Severus were encouraging you as you pushed hard a few more times, your baby finally entering into the world. Severus was a little too squeamish to cut the cord, but he watched every single movement as the doctors and nurses cut the umbilical cord and got them cleaned up. You were breathing heavily, your entire body shaking from the strenuous action. You whimpered out to Severus, who had a better viewpoint than you did.

“Is the baby okay? Please tell me the baby’s okay...” You whined out, desperate to see him/her.

Severus was close to crying, but it was the happiest he had been in his entire life.

“The baby is perfect. You did so well, my love.” He said, kissing your sweaty forehead.

The chaos in the room died down, and one of the nurses had swaddled the crying baby. She gave a huge, kind smile and set the baby in your arms.

“Say hello to your baby girl.” She cooed.

Tears fell from your eyes as she was placed into your arms. Her cries dwindled out at the feeling and sound of your and Severus’ voices. She was the most stunning baby you had ever seen. Severus felt something awaken in him. A side of him that had been itching to come out.

“A girl...oh, a girl.” You cried happily.

Severus sniffed, holding back tears.

“She’s beautiful. She’s perfect.” Sev croaked.

He placed a kiss on her forehead, her small baby whimpers making his heart explode. The two of you sat in silence, raking over your baby’s perfection. After a minute, you looked up at Severus with a smile.

“I just thought of something we have to do.” You said.

Panic flashed over his face again. You had done everything he thought. What could there possible be to do?

“What is that, darling?” He acquired.

You giggled, kissing Severus’ cheek.

“We’ve got to pick a name for her.”

[interact-if]

Umm hi 👉👈 I realized that most of the asks you guys get are about games and rec lists. You guys deserve so much recognition for the work you put in this blog, so I wanted to ask if I can do a little get-to-know-the-mods thing? If that's okay!

1. Besides writing, what are your hobbies?

2. Do you have a niche interest right now?

3. Any fave songs/artists/bands?

4. Any fave movies/tv shows?

5. On a scale of 1-10, how likely would you survive in your wip's world?

You can totally ignore this if you guys want, no pressure. Anyway, much love to all the interact-if mods! You guys are incredible! ❤

We saw this ask and we went 👀 👀 👀 so we’re happy to answer! Thank you so much for the fun ask!

 We also rated our survivability in all of our collective games, since Mars isn't an author! Fun stuff! Spoilers, though: it’s really not looking so great for me (Dani) but that’s fine!!!  😌

1. I’m a photographer as well as a graphic artist (but not like. A painter/drawer kind of artist!) and, on a general level, a maker and a tinkerer!

2. Fountain pens! I only write with ink, and only with fountain pens, and I use bottled inks/converters!

3. I’m pretty eclectic with music, but my top genres are alt rock, indie, indie pop, etc, as well as top 40s and some rap.

4. I feel like this is the hardest one for me to answer? Favorite movies/shows? Avatar: the Last Airbender has been a favorite show of mine since I was a little kid, but I have a harder time thinking of shows I would call a favorite in recent years. There are shows I’ve liked, and a lot of shows I’ve watched. But I’m picky! And demanding! It takes a lot to earn a place in Dani’s Trophy Case of Favorites. 😌 I would say I quite liked A Quite Place (movie), and I liked Us (movie). When it comes to TV shows, I have a hard time being pleased with them if they don’t end well. As a result, I have a penchant for a good limited series/miniseries (because they’re stories that have an end in mind and the plot reflects that, dagnabbit).

5. Heh. Okay.

In The Goodfellows? I think I stand I chance. I can exercise my sparkling wit and lovable personality to the best effect. I’m gonna give myself an 8/10 survivability rating. Even if I don’t have the right skills, I can go crying to the person who does and they’ll save me. Maybe.

In Creatures’ Cradle? I’m super $**!%d. 😌 1/10 survivability rating. And that 1 is me being nice to myself. The day the apocalypse breaks out I would probably be patient 0. I am self-aware. I would not do well in an apocalypse. Zombies care not for aforementioned sparkling wit and lovable personality, and I have all the muscle of a boiled spaghetti noodle. So it’s a no go.

Greater Than Gods (Cruz): Well. I’m going to be optimistic. And say that I have the wisdom not to do things I shouldn’t do and not to rock boats I shouldn’t rock. I’m going to give myself a 7/10 based on insider information, but also based on reckless optimism!

Vardir (Cruz): Cruz says this is a lighthearted game, so 10/10 LOL.

When it Hungers (Roast): I’m giving myself a nice, mediocre 5/10. I think I could put my mind to work here; I joke that I’m the village idiot, but I’m actually pretty smart! Unfortunately, I’m also curious, and maybe a little bad with authorities who won’t answer my questions. So I knocked off a lot of points due to the fact that I’d probably poke the metaphorical bear. So it’s a real coin flip as to whether I’d really make it or not.

Orthall Bay (Nines): Considering the genre is “horror” and the game intro includes the words “monster” and “maim,” I’m giving myself a whooping, enthusiastic 3/10. Yes, folks, I am that confident in myself! Once again, I can’t charm the socks off a monster (or can I?), so one of my greatest weapons is snatched from beneath my feet. Alas!

1. Beloved I’m a college student in the middle of a pandemic... i can hardly even write LOL i do draw at times which u can see in my personal blog (nothing too good really) and i used to do karate before things went to shit <3

2. Nothing niche I believe? All I do is leave Netflix as bg noise every day n play popular videgames (genshin)

3. Porter Robinson <3 I love Bea Miller a lot as well but lately I’ve been feeling Porter a lot

4. The Good Place <3

5. My WIPs:

Greater than Gods: Highly situational, the world GtG is set in is as broad as the real world LOL so I don’t have an universal answer. But keeping it vague, and knowing my own personality, I feel like 5/10. depends on my luck.

Vardir: 10/10 no one dies in Vikgade, unless you’re a hunter but I wouldn’t be a hunter <3

Others’ WIPs

I'm gonna give myself a solid 5/10 in all other WIPs because y'all aren't writing lighthearted stories either. I feel like as long as I avoid the role of the MC I will be mostly fine. I hope. But as Dani said I'm also prone to fight the wrong person and dig my own grave so 😌

1. Well, writing is a very, very, very, distant hobby since Words Hard, but I like to crochet and sculpt a little! Anything to do with fiddling with my hands and I’m good to go. And like, debatable but graphic design is my passion [insert clown emoji here since Tumblr said No]

2. Oh yeah a bunch! DnD yelling at people, thinking of arson, crocheting, rock climbing and simply vibing. I got into podcasts a few years ago and I’m always looking for more recs, so if you have some, hmu 😤

3. Pls,,,,my music taste is,,,so weird do not let me expose myself with lack of consistency but uhh. Current songs that are stuck in my head include; Cult of Dionysus , Achilles Come Down and The Last Shanty  

4. If you’ve ever spoken to me before, I probably yelled about Pacific Rim to you or at you. Plus I love all The Mummy films and really enjoyed Castlevania (s3 excluded, we do not perceive that) as well! 

5. Ah, mod survival simulator pt. 3

Alright, let’s go!  I don’t have a WIP because again, words hard, but like, considering how feral I am when not tryna seem professional hm... 

The Goodfellows: I wanna say a solid 7/10 because I’d hardcore vibe with the Traveler and probably instigate so much nonsense. I can also bribe with blueberry cake so maybe. 

Creature’s Cradle: maybe a 4/10 and only because of pure spite keeping me alive long enough to smack someone. I’ve prepared for hypothetical  zombie apolcapyses and I won’t hesitate to bap, but will be bapped back because I’m weak as hell. 

Greater Than Gods: a toss up between 2/10 and 7/10! I can vibe and be chill but I also have terrible impulse control so... 

Vardir: hm....I think pretty good survival rates all around? If you ask me to fight then like, okay sure, your knees are mine. So maybe a 8/10? 

When it Hungers: .......8/10 just because I’d refuse to die if I can be a cool creature. Living for the aesthetic can and will drag me outta hell. But I’m also clumsy as hell so I’d probably crash as a porcelain or hold a rooster and perish (aka, real rating is a good 3/10) 

Orthall Bay: 2/10, nope. Nope I’d be taken out in a heartbeat. Monsters can go pspsps and I’d head straight into the dark creepy forest like a fool if someone comes @ me. Half the time I’ll just assume it’s sfx makeup and vibe until it’s too late. 

god, never put me in a universe where I cannot squawk like a bird and throw pebbles from a window. Oof

Anon, you're so sweet! I give you a forehead smoomch <333 As for your questions...

1. If I'm not writing, I'm usually watching video essays on Youtube. My go-to channels as of right now is Disrupt and Aperture! I just really like their videos. Aside from that, I recently got into podcasts. Currently going through Hello From The Hallowoods and Shelter and Warning, which are made by queer creators!

2. Oh oof, there's quite a bit so I'm just gonna put down one thing. For some reason, I really got into collecting tiny astronaut things? I recently bought this astronaut desk light, and I've got a package coming in for the miniatures I ordered. No purpose for them other than I think they're neat <3

3. I'm a bit private with my music taste (even tho I have Spotify connected on Discord lmao), but there's 5 songs that I'm currently obsessed with. I keep replaying them over and over again. Just squeezing all the serotonin I could get outta them.

4. I can't really say I have a fave TV show or movie because I can't really just pick one, but my current fave is 9-1-1 and Resident Alien. 9-1-1 because I just really love the found-family dynamics and how the show tackles sensitive topics, and Resident Alien because it's lighthearted comedy. My all-time fave movie is Flipped! I have the book too and I like rereading from time to time <3

5. You're in for a doozy, anon, because we're rating each other's games <333

The Goodfellows: 7/10

Listen. Shenanigans with the Traveler. I would get up to so many of them and that is what'll get me possibly bodied, not the actual environment itself <3

Greater than Gods: 7/10

I like to think I have enough common sense to uhhh not recklessly flip stones that should not be flipped <3 I'm a cautious and skeptic person irl so I think I'll hold up well? Then again, it's a vast environment change and while I can adapt pretty quick, I wouldn't like the lack of control in the unknown.

Vardir: 10/10

Going off what Cruz said, Vardir is lighthearted and focused on personal growth so I think I'll be okay! Self-growth here I come, babey!

Creatures' Cradle: 8/10

Maybe I'm overestimating myself, but I think I'll be able to survive in a supernatural post-apocalyptic world! Ah, but it depends on the motivation though. I like the idea of rebuilding communities and eventually societies, but the survival turmoil would be a constant battle I'd have to overcome. If we're talking survival itself though, I think I'll do well.

When it Hungers: 8/10

That's probably my wishful thinking but I think I'll be fine. Maybe. Possibly. Don't like the idea of being regulated by an organization so if I was a non-human creature that could pose a problem but I can roll with it <3

Orthall Bay: 6/10

Assuming I'm not playing as MC, my chances of survival uhhh changes quite drastically. Not enough to guarantee an untimely demise, but certainly enough that it would constantly keep me on my toes. I think that's the safest answer I can get without spoiling anything lmao

Thank you so much for asking! It's super sweet of you <3

1. Too many :'D I knit, I sew, I do carpentry (well, learning), I bake, I'm hammering away at HTML and CSS, my job kind of encourages learning new things and I take that to picking up new hobbies!

2. My time is kind of consumed with school work and work work and WIP work so not a lot of time to pursue niche interests right now. I've been watching a lot of horror game playthroughs, true crime youtubers, and an adorable show on Netflix called the Repair Shop <3

3. My taste in music is "what am I vibing with atm?" I've been listening to a lot of 80's music atm (don't @ me), but also Lo Fang and Kaleo, and whatever spotify recommends me on my discover weekly which is usually complete chaos.

4. I love the Mummy even though it hasn't aged 100% well (I'm a librarian, of course it's one of my gotos LOL), Legally Blonde, Leverage, Jumanji (the original), I'm....very bad at having recent tastes... and very bad at remembering my favorites when asked.

5.

The Goodfellows: I'm a creature of comfort, 5/10 if I can just luxuriate in town and not actually interact with the story sfjkdbsdkf

Creature’s Cradle: I'd like to think I have a 50/50 shot XD 5/10, I want to think I'd be decent at a zombie apocalypse but ultimately would suffer an early fate.

Greater Than Gods: 10/10 if I'm just vibing, less so if I'm involved in the actual story XD

Vardir: I'd still suffer without technology but I can also knit for a living in this world so I'm down 8/10

When it Hungers: I feel like I could vibe here, there's tech if dated, hot showers, telephones are around by now... might still get bored. 7/10 though it'd be cool to be another creature....I should make a 'what creature of snv are you' quiz!

Orthall Bay: 7/10 idk I feel like after the first monster of the week I'd just skip town XDDDD I'm the worst protagonist, I see danger I just leave.

[clubtuan]

Sorry, I couldn’t get to you

Pairing: Do Kyungsoo x female reader

Genre: The chilling adventure of Sabrina!au /witch!au /ansgt a lot of it/ mention of Swing Kids/ fluff / suggestive

Prompt : « I make my own happiness, and I hope you can too » - Sabrina Morningstar

A/N: I finish CAOS and I miss Kyungsoo. And I have Roh Kisoo feelings so yeah this happened, my first scenarios with EXO. And I totally wrote this listening to ‘’Say Something’’ by A Great Big World 90% of the time.

Word count : 5k

Rain was heavily falling that night, and your familiar, a black cat sitting next to you purring. Life as 24 year old witch in Seoul, but still a single 24 year old, life wasn’t that boring it was just that people were always asking you to introduce them to your boyfriend.. Hell who needs a boyfriend when their cousin is the king of Hell, or when your family is the known as the most powerful witches in this damn country ?

The smoke of your tea was long gone as the liquid turned cold, but a burnt smell came to your nostrils .. Park Chanyeol, the king of the under and your cousin.

‘’Hello cousin.

For the love of Satan, Chanyeol!’’ He laughed and take the place right next to you, taking off his crown. ‘’Hell is hella boring without you’’ he sighed.

The only thing you wanted to answer him was how earth was also a boring playground without him, and how Junmyeon wasn’t helping cause he probably was busy running the Academy of Unseen Arts.

You sighed, humans weren’t funny, working wasn’t funny, and plus your feet hurt, from working in Minseok’s small cafe. ‘’You’re a real drama queen Y/N’’ Said Chanyeol before readjusting his black oversized opened dress shirt. ‘’Go to a club, find a cute or bad boy looking guy and have some fun’’ He said picking up his bloody crown.

You couldn’t believe it, even your cousin was asking you to get .. well for the moment a one night stand, but still asking you to find a ‘someone’ ..

‘’Uh and before I forget honey, you may be a witch but black isn’t our only option here’ He disappeared before you could kill him or throw a pillow to his face.’’ -Unbelievable, was all you said after his exit.

You scanned your shelves full of spell books, ‘dark magic : a witchy way with demons’, other books about demons and others creatures you had to deal with, a big brown book caught your eyes and you smirk taking it in your hands. ‘’Boyfriend, here we meet’’ your cat meow looking at you ‘’I know buddy, but everyone says I should have someone so ..’’

To be real witches and wizards are known to have sex demons, and huge sexual orgies from time to time .. seriously what is the problem with witches and sex ?

Oh yeah Lilith was !

You find yourself in the bathroom that night, sculpting your future boyfriend in the wax of a few red candles. abs ? Check ! Cute looking butt ? Check ! Good look ? Check. Nice ?Also check !

‘’Let the doll sit in hot water for one to two days and your lover will be yours’’ you read out of the book.

The bathtub was full and ready, and your were casting the spell asking yourself the hell you were doing.

You clearly fell asleep, waiting to your full tub to see if anything would change .. but nope nothing really changed except the size of the wax doll, which was now a lot larger and not much looking like wax. Work was starting for another few hours but someone was ringing at your door at 9am. And the same someone didn’t wait for you to entered your apartment.

‘’Y/N? We know you’re here, the cat told us.’’ Aunties !

You exited your bathroom closing your door, they didn’t need to see your future love spell laying in hot water with rose petals !

‘’Aunties hi!’’ They both looked at you as if you were insane, well you totally looked like at the moment, your oversized black shirt, and dried mascara under your eyes !

‘’What are you doing ?’’

I’m creating my own boyfriend, cause people I work with, or I’m friend with ask me about my love life 24/7 .. nah you shouldn’t say that to your aunts or else they’ll kill you ..

‘’Nothing Aunt Zee ! I just need coffee cause I .. I .. Yeah coffee !’’

Both of your aunts looked at each other, but not in the suspicious way you tried to avoid, thanks Dark Lord ! ‘’Your cousin, ..’’ Aunt H started but you clearly were not listening to them. Looking at you bathroom door asking yourself a lot of question, does he has a name or you had to give him one ?

‘’Aunties, if you create someone out of .. never mind’’ you stopped yourself, they didn’t need to suspect you and your future « man »?

And the fact you wanted them out of here .. fast ! No need for them to see a stranger getting out of one of your rooms probably naked and confused !

You were bored to wait for anything to happen, and plus you received a text.

JUNMYEON:

You small witch, don’t forget about the Coven party in 2 days.

If you’re not here, I’ll kill u under the full moon babe xox

What a best friend ! You once again totally forgot about this little Coven thing at Minseok cafe he was hosting with Baekhyun.

Witches parties were always too much, even more if Byun Baekhyun was the one throwing the said party. Going back to the 50s (like literally), ghosts ..

To be honest you wanted your Saturday night to be a rerun of « Sabrina, the teenage witch » under a plaid on your couch with pizza, beer and tteokbokki, not a extravagant party with all your Coven.

BAEKHYUNIE:

Get ready for the night of your witchy spicy life, cause your god fairy mother (me!!)

got some friend who are single & ready to mingle !

YOU:

Baek, no more weird goblin or any magical creatures !

Plus you are late I’ve a date !

His only response was a few shocked emojis, and a few seconds later another text : I’m behind your door with food !

But Baekhyun, being Baekhyun he didn’t ring the bell and come into your home with a huge goofy smile on his lips.

‘’Don’t look at me like that, I’ve got your fav’’

Why everybody was coming to visit you today ? Normally your apartment was cozy and calm .. but not today ! For Satan’s love !

Baekhyun was one of your closest friend, but also a dark fairy and Chanyeol’s right arm.

And fairies loves to party way too much, it was in their personality ! But the cutest thing was his pointy ears.

‘’ So, my lil friend got herself a date ?’’

And fairy were all about gossips! You simply smiled and nodded at your friend. No need to say too much !

‘’Sooo ..’’ You tried to start another conversation ‘’ How is hell today ?’’

He lifted one of his eyebrow ‘’ Yeol was here last night, don’t try to escape my questions woman’’

Maybe you should have stuff your mouth with rice and onions !

Your fairy friend talked and talked, asking you a few questions about your date for the party. You nodded and made a few ‘’oh!’’ ‘’mhmm’’ but must importantly you were eating and trying to avoid his questions.

Until that one moment when Baekhyun suddenly stopped talking, and was looking behind you his mouth wide open.

‘’Sorry babe, I was a bit long’’

Babe ? You turned in your sit and your eyes dropped to a towel, one of your black towel hanging low on some hips, well defined hips to say, and as your eyes were going up to see who that was, you followed a happy trail, your mouth watered at the sight, happy trail being one of your weakness in a man. After his define stomach and sun kissed glowing skin. His heart shaped lips looked so kissable and full, his dark eyes hided behind tick black frame of glasses. God he was beautiful, more than that to be honest, his voice sounded like honey to your ears, his cute hand slowly scratching the back of his head. You watched a few drop of water running on his chest.

Next you saw a lot of beauty marks on his naked skin, a galaxy of beauty marks. The man got you hypnotized with one sentence, this spell was something !

‘’Hey, you must be Baekhyun ! Y/N told me about you’’ you were drinking his every words just like Baekhyun was. ‘’I’m Do Kyungsoo’’

Dark lord even his name sounded so heavenly (damn for a dark lord follower, you think a lot about heaven right now), after his introduction he excused himself to get dress.

‘’Is this your date ?’’ Murmured Baekhyun with too much excitement ‘’Damn girl you just hit the lotto !’’

Your first few days with Kyungsoo was surprisingly good, he already known a lot about you. Because to created him you dropped some drops of blood in the potion.

You asked silly questions to Kyungsoo, just to get to know him better: ‘’Bubble tea or Iced coffee ?’’ sure he was your creation but he still has his own personality. Your afternoon been filled with laughs, his hand in your hair, under your shirt, and finally you naked on top of him. His hands on your hips left some marks just like his plump lips and teeth drew love bites on your collarbone and others behind your ear. Your long black nails left marks on his back from the pleasure .. hell this man gonna be the end of your sanity !

‘’I’m glad you bring me to life’’ his arm was wrapped around your waist, and his lips continued their way in the back on your neck. You never expect anything with this incantation, you never expect the perfect man to came to life in your bathtub but here you were laying under your sheet naked, with Kyungsoo showing his love to you. Drawing abstract shapes on your skin, following your own moles creating a galaxy with his fingers.

Your friends and family were totally shocked to see him next to you, the Saturday night at the Coven party.

Even your aunt fell under his spell, and Chanyeol almost gave him his throne. Kyungsoo always had an answer to every questions about your relationship, his hand never left your side that night, or you find his lips on your cheek every other times.

Do Kyungsoo might be the result of your spell, but you totally were under his.

Days with Kyungsoo were sweet, full of adventures and funny. Sex was insanely good, (yes might be a witch thing but thanks Lilith) the feeling of his hand tracing your body, or even his lips on your skin. Or just his eyes on you were making you feel like the most wanted woman on the earth, Kyungsoo has his ways.

His moles were your favorite thing to kiss after his pillowy lips, but the must was the little mole on his top lip. And for Kyungsoo his lips found their home right under your breast, on ink saying ‘Witch’ he always said your tattoo was full of sarcasm.

Were you suppose to fall to your own creation ?

Your cat was laying on your bed, his head in Kyungsoo’s hand as his was caressing him. You watched him laying underneath your sheet, his chest on full display as your bedding was on his hips hiding a bit of his nakedness. ‘’You know I think he quite like you’’ you said to him ‘’Yeah he is purring, and I like him too .. he is like a part of you’’

You smiled looking at them, the sun was hitting Kyungsoo’s skin in all the right place making you craving him again, on the spot. His skin against yours, his finger interlaced with yours, his low groans .. he was hotter than hell.

Your black familiar exited the room as soon as you found a place on your mattress. ‘’You look cute with my shirt on’’ his hands traveled under the cotton of the shirt, tracing the shape of your chest. He smelled so nice just like lavender and woodland (a/n: if you ever smelled ‘autumn night’ by yankee candle this is the smell I’m talking about), everything about him was comforting, cozy and making you feel somehow safe. His lips right underneath your left ear, his right hand playing with the side of your black laced panty.

He was addicting just like a drug, now he was in your life you couldn’t imagine not having him anymore. Kyungsoo became a part of you, like a missing piece of puzzle and thanks to magic you finally completed the puzzle.

The way he made you feel was crazy, almost too crazy to be real. His breath hitting your neck made you moan even more than his hands running your body, and his length hitting every spots.

Days were brighter than before, spring was almost there cherry blossom were about to bloom, just like you now. And the night getting warmer but for once your bed felt empty and kind of cold without the raven haired boy sleeping next to you.

‘’Y/N ! ARE YOU ISANE ????’’

You woke up to Chanyeol screaming and tearing off his black hair. ‘’Yeol it’s 3 am, the fuck you want now ?’’ You asked, ready to kill him.

‘’Do Kyungsoo ? Huh ?? More like Roh Kisoo ! I can’t believe you invoke a freaking ghost to pretend to be your fucking fuck buddy’’

What ? A ghost ? Fuck buddy ? You were lost, totally lost and you cousin still panicked in front of your bed. ‘’ A ghost, what ? Who’s a ghost ?’’ He sighed loudly. ‘’Cousin, the aunties will legit kill you’’

Your only question was ‘who the fuck is Roh Kisoo ?’ He sighed once again before showing a beige folder (there’s folder in hell ? Anyway that is not the question)

‘’Cousin, he is dead, Do Kyungsoo isn’t real his name was Roh Kisoo, North Korean soldier. He used to tap dance, he was killed because he was about to kill an American soldier on stage’’

You couldn’t believe what Chanyeol was telling you .. you did not invoke a dead soldier, you created him out of wax. ‘’Chanyeol .. I created him. I do not fuck with dead’’

He stopped all his talking to look at you, dead in the eyes (no joke here). Your knees were against your chest as you sit on your mattress, ‘’He lied to me’’ you said softly. Your eyes filled with tears, you couldn’t believe you fell in love with your creation but he seemed so human, probably too human you were now thinking .. cause he been alive once.

Chanyeol wrapped his arms around you, even the king of hell could not bear to see his cousin and best friend crying. ‘’Love, do-does his heart beat ?’’ You looked up at him not really understanding why would it change if his heart was beating or not ? ‘’ If his heart beat, it means two things .. one he has feeling for you and second h-he .. he would become human, 100% human once again and believe his past life is just a dream .. Well his memories of the war and all being a dream’’

‘’And y/n..’’ He started again ‘’ you were in his past life .. his lover actually even if he never confessed or anything to you he loved you as Roh Kisoo .. that’s why he came to you as you created him’’

He put his hands on your eyes, and suddenly flashes of images, of him with shaved hair, kaki clothes, tap dancing, working on things, him stealing a kiss, stealing one of your kiss I the board of daylight, your death with two others persons you didn’t know and finally his own death.

The perk of being the king of hell was having ‘infos’ about people’s previous lives, and Chanyeol was shoving you Kyungsoo past life.

After your cousin exit, you didn’t sleep that night. You felt so small at the time watching the night lights by your window, thinking about everything that happened for the last two months of your life.. getting him, feeling happy and in love (a thing you never felt or lived before), how were you supposed to say all these things to Kyungsoo ?

Were you supposed to giving him up ? Send him back (yeah but were ?) ? Make him human ?

That morning Junmyeon made fun of you ‘looking like a panda’.

‘’ Y/N ?’’ He been calling your name for the last five minutes but your mind was anywhere but in Minseok’s cafe, jumping from memories to memories you created for the last 2 months.

The light was hitting your living room, a cup of coffee in your hand as you sit on your couch right next to Kyungsoo who was reading one your book. At the time everything felt right, as you were looking at him forgetting your cup in your hands, trying to find a single thing on him that was wrong .. but nothing was wrong.

‘’You know, I’ll not disappear love’’ you chuckled at his words, fearing that yes someday he’ll be gone.

His hand find it place on your knee, and his lips on your temple was comforting you and made you blush as a teenager.

At the time everything was simpler, you needed help .. but from who ?

You couldn’t bear to see Kyungsoo, not knowing how you’ll react in front of him, what to tell him, would you kiss him ? Let him make love to you ? Slap him ? Fall apart ? Break his heart ? (you didn’t know if his heart was beating .. if he was human or just the memory of his past life in wax)

YOU:

We need to talk aunties.

You were adult and you needed to face your mistakes, and you were finally doing it. The drive to your aunt’s was the longest it ever was and you felt heavy.

You spent a long time sitting in your car before entering the house, feeling a lot of shame, heartbroken, facing your mistake was harder than expected.

The second you saw your aunts you couldn’t keep your feelings together and start crying.

‘’ Chanyeol told us Y/N and even if your aunt wanted to scold you .. it’s not right to do now’’ started one of your aunt.

Aunt Zee was smoking but not saying anything, you knew she was disappointed. You felt totally out of place if you teleport yourself in a volcano you would to it right away.

‘’ I suppose Chanyeol explain you, the two options you have ?’’ Was Aunt Zee first worlds, you nodded.

‘’ If his heart beat or not, I could send him back or I can make him human.. ’’ your were stop by Aunt H ‘’ If you make him human, you know he’ll not remember you and what you both lived’’

Hearing that broke your heart even more, he couldn’t forget you if wasn’t right.

‘’ But he will kind of stay connected to you, as he has a part of you being your magic. So he is and will be a wizard.’’ Said your second aunt.

All you needed was time, a thing you didn’t have. One last time with him before choosing send him back or making him human and forget everything about you.

‘’But most important if his heart is beating, your trace will forever haunt him. Without him know why and who you are, love’’ said Aunt H, caressing your arm as comfort.

‘’ I can’t kill him’’

Yours aunties listened to you, telling them why and how to ‘created’ him, how happy he was making you, how human he seemed and now you knew why .. you told them everything, even wishing you had a last night with him.

Aunt Zee granted your wish, but tomorrow morning you had to say goodbye to love.

You never expected finding him dressed in his favorite black jumper and his ripped bleu jeans cooking in your kitchen with a glass full of white wine waiting for you next to his.

Your eyes filled with tears when his scent hit you, your head on his chest. ‘’ Let’s stay like this for a moment, please’’ you didn’t want him to see you like that.

The smile dancing on his lips broke you inside one more time, he looked so innocent in front of you, not knowing, almost like a child.

‘’You know babe, tonight there’s a shower of shooting stars let’s watch it’’ Yixing told him, even if he never met the Chinese wizard in real like they met on FaceTime, your friend was crazy when Baekhyun, once mentioned you had someone.

You simply nodded, even of shooting stars couldn’t help you this time.

The time moved so fast as if it was teasing you, your eyes never left Kyungsoo, too afraid to forgot him or to miss a beauty mark or the way his eyes were when he was smiling, looking at you.

Looking at him was the hardest thing you had ever done that night, you were giving up on him and you couldn’t say anything.

The view from the balcony of your appartement was incredible but the only thing you watched was him not the stars traveling the dark sky.

Even the moon seems ridiculous next to him, his glasses sat on his nose and his hair was a bit longer, his fringe hitting the frame of the glasses softly.

He turned his head to look at you, his hand caressed your cheek and his lips collided on yours, his kiss was full of passion, slow. Time stopped when his lips met yours, and you felt his heart pounded underneath your hand.

His heart was beating ..

‘’ .. I love you’’ His eyes were still closed and his lips still so closed to yours, and his thumb caressing your face.

Once again his lips crashed on yours, more intense this time. Yours hands holding the material of his jumper. ‘’Don’t ever forget about me’’ you whisper. His fingers slipped under the coton of your shirt, he pulled you even closer to him, as if no one else in the world existed. ‘’Never’’ you knew his answer was a lie but you needed it.

The time actually stopped at that moment the last time he made love to you, the stars and clouds were not moving and no sounds were heard, a spell to stop time was dangerous and only a powerful witch could to do but at the time it was your last priority.

It was the softest Kyungsoo ever showed you the way he loved you, he was taking his time with you that night as if he knew it was surely the last time. Looking at you his eyes were full of stars and his hands felt like velvet on your skin.

That night you refused to fall asleep, your head stayed on his chest listening to his heartbeat, his words playing over and over in your head, the way he confessed on that night was the hardest to accepted to you.

CHANYEOL:

I’m sorry cousin,

I tried to give a little bit more with him.

He make you happy I know.

You left your bed after reading the text to finally cried yourself to sleep in your bathroom, your hand on your mouth trying to muffled the sound.

The floor was freezing when you woke up, everything felt freezing in your house, in your body. Once you remembered, tears were running your cheeks and this time you didn’t shut yourself and screamed in agony.

He was gone.

He was gone and you were alone.

The first week was the hardest, you didn’t left your room and the last piece of him that was the shirt you wore that night.

The tissue did not smelled like him anymore.

Every day, every hour you were waiting for him to open your door arms full of bags from the grocery store ready to cook you something.

Chanyeol, yours aunts, Yixing, everyone tried to contact you, but you never answered them.

Every night Chanyeol wait for you to sleep and came, he was feeling guilty and you were his best friend. Every night he did the same, he tucked you and stroked your hair. Hoping one day you would be able to find peace with yourself, but that wasn’t the only thing on his plan !

You sat at your kitchen bar, you computer in front of you but all you did was staring at your window, your chin resting in your left hand.

You didn’t even watch Chanyeol sitting right in front of you searching something in one of his books. ‘’Cousin, aren’t you suppose to do mails stuff ?’’

‘’Chanyeol, aren’t you suppose to do king of hell stuffs?’’ Your sarcasm did in fact burn like hell !

‘’You know I became the king of underworld, so you selfishly could stay on earth and do selfish human things as the bratty witch you are’’

Why was Chanyeol even here at this point ? He wasn’t wrong, to be honest. All you did for the last few days was crying, sleeping, and being a brat to everyone who tried to help you what so ever.

‘’Cousin, life have so much to offer’’

‘’Fake, life sucks and I feel so done with it’’ He sighed loudly, feeling done with you.

Ignoring yours friends, cousin, aunts was purely selfish and you knew it but at this point you clearly didn’t give a damn .. but at the same time it was your fault and only your fault, if you didn’t use this spell, just to shut people and their needs to talk about your life.

It’s been 3 weeks, the first been the miserable one, the two second mark the start of the ‘new you’.

You were purely self-destructive at this point, losing Kyungsoo hurt you but what you did to yourself was worst. Invoking sex demons, trying spell to not feel anything, everything was good to ‘make you forget’.

‘’You know Sehun, fuck Satan and all that witchy shit’’

You were clearly drunk, and Sehun knew he shouldn’t give you anymore drinks but his pub had the best reputation with the witch population of Seoul, you lost the count of drinks you already drank.

‘’ You probably should go at home and sleep Y/N, I dont need the king of Hell to come and kill me’’

‘’Chanyeol ? He can kiss my ass ! Y’all can kiss my ass’’ your drunk behavior wasn’t a pretty sight.

After that Sehun didn’t understand a word you said, you were half crying, half mumbling. Poor bartender did not has the choice but to call Chanyeol to have an explanation and to get you back at your apartment.

‘’ Y/N you can’t live your life off ‘not feeling anything’ spells’’

Cold water woke you up, you stood in you shower fully clothed and your cousin holding the shower head.

‘’Why the hell are you doin’ that ?’’

‘’You asshole, needed a wake up call’’

Chanyeol was tired of seeing you being a danger to yourself, and decided enough was enough.

The heavy weight on your shoulders dropped suddenly and you body followed dropping in your cousin’s arms. ‘’ I just miss him so much Yeol’’

He watched tears rolling on your cheeks, not saying anything but his hand caressing your back.

Even if lives are connected Chanyeol couldn’t guarantee Kyungsoo’s comeback, your two souls might be connected since the beginning but the way they forced Kyungsoo into his human form couldn’t guarantee anything about their futur or life together. But he couldn’t tell you all that, like he couldn’t say he was following the man everyday.

And that you left your mark on him, he was now a wizard.

‘’ I’m here Y/N you can sleep’’

He laid you down on your bed, caressing your hair and projecting dreams in your head to give you a break, Chanyeol was the king of Hell, but he was hurt seeing his best friend and cousin living like that, he was ready to fight anyone so you could be happy again and to see you eyes full of stars just like when you were looking at Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol always knew that Kyungsoo’s heart was beating he felt it the first time he met him. And right after that he started his search about the man.

After that night you practically lived in the academy, teaching younger witches just like your aunts wanted. Reading books to perfect your magic. ‘’You know since you came to the academy everything seems simpler’’ Said your colleague Jongdae ‘’ Kids seems to like having one of the most powerful witch of the century teaching them stuffs’’ You nodded.

‘’Sorry Jongdae but I’m taking my cousin out for lunch’’

Chanyeol took you to Chinatown, celebrating one of his friend opening his own restaurant .. who were you to say no to free food ?

Lunch was nice, a private room for the two of you and all the best food on the menu. ‘’So the academy ?’’

‘’It’s good, kids are funny .. Yeol did you .. like killed someone for this guy ?’’

He laughed a bit too much ‘’ Not, it’s a guy a met not long ago and we became friends .. he is like us ‘magic’ he’ll come to see us’’

You nodded, finishing you plate and drinking a bit of the Chinese whisky that was left in your cup.

Chanyeol left you to go the to toilet, what type of cousin is he ? He need to go to the toilet when his friend was supposed to met the two of you ? Asshole !

The door opened and your phone vibrated at the same time a text from you cousin, why was he sending you a text when coming back in the private room ?

CHANYEOL:

I find him for you ..

Who did he find for you ?

‘’Chanyeol ?’’ You knew the voice, you once again felt the time stop when you turned around finding .. Do Kyungsoo in a chef attire.

Do Kyungsoo was the friend of Chanyeol, the one he wanted you to meet ..

‘’You are ?’’ Right he forgot about you. ‘’Oh yeah you’re Y/N .. Chanyeol told me a lot about you and you’re like the most powerful in our coven’’

A single tear rolled onto your cheek, you find him .. he was in front of you.

You finally find him, thanks to Chanyeol.

[darkredehmption]

Class Is In

#SL #ClassIsIn

Written by @DamagedBrother and @OfFeatherNFang 

****

Mal: 

I shifted uncomfortably. It wasn’t even the first time, but thank fuck, none of my new ‘students’ seemed to notice. As each of the Brothers filed in, taking various seats at the front of the room, I resisted the urge to up and fucking leave. Instead I clenched the black dry erase marker, my eyes straying to Zsadist, who watched me with a small, reassuring smile. My free hand absently brushed over the new scar beneath my shirt, reminding me of what I was doing, and why. 

My most recent hospital stay had ended only a few days earlier, and while I’d been approved to teach a classroom full of muscle clad, would-kick-the-shit-out-of-satan killers, I was still black listed from actually leaving the manse to go on rotation. So I had to take what I could get I guess.

As silence crept in with everyone settling the fuck down, I felt the even more uncomfortable weight of eyes on me, waiting for how I was going to wow them. I mean, this wasn’t a class on explosives, firearms, or the 52 ways you could kill a guy with your thumb. This was on the supernatural. Or, I guess, everything ELSE that was supernatural other than… well, us.

“Right, shit, well… here we go. Never been a public speaker, so bear the fuck with me while I figure this shit out,” I mutter, tapping the marker against my free hand. Rhage, helpfully, grinned and said ‘here, here’. 

“Well, let’s start by cutting straight to the why’s of being here,” I say firmly, looking to Zsadist and giving a small nod. “Z had a demon hitch a ride. He was possessed,” I say flatly. “And demons gossip around the lava water cooler worse than chicks in a high school. If we don’t start taking precautions now, we could be seeing more of them. Or more of what happened…”

I managed to keep myself from brushing the scar this time, but nothing could quell the furious fire burning in me to ensure Zsadist would never, ever have to go through that shit again. 

Zsadist:

I couldn’t help but keep my eyes locked onto my male. I mean let’s face it, I always wanted my eyes on him. But even more lately with what had gone down recently. I could have lost him. Lost the most important person in life at the hands of myself. Well technically not myself, but still, this meeting was important. It was important for the Brotherhood to learn some knowledge on a new threat we had.

Demons.

Shaking the thought from my head as I give my male an encouraging smile. He looked nervous as hell to be in front of the Brotherhood right now, about to teach them a thing or two of his enemies. Though I wanted to believe that my Brothers would behave and give them his full attention. 

I couldn’t help but notice Mal’s hand as it crept closer to the new scar that I helped make on his body. Yes, this wasn’t my doing completely, but my hand was the one wielding the dagger. I had to stop letting myself believe this was all my fault, because it wasn’t. 

The demons were another enemy that we needed to take down. So I made sure everyone was paying attention before my eyes landed on Mal once again. 

Mal:

“I can honestly say I’ve never dealt with a demon possessing a vampire before, but then again, I don’t think the regular vampires they’re used to quite cut it…”

I frowned at that thought, but shrugged and kept going. 

“Anyway, we’ll deal with the other breeds of vampires in another lesson,” I say absently, shaking my head. “And ghouls… werewolves… wendigos… poltergeists… well, you get the idea.” I waved my hand as if it would dismiss all the other breeds of supernatural beasties I’d just thrown out there. “Demons are our most pressing issue. How to identify one…”

Turning to the white board, I popped the top on my marker and started to write as I spoke. 

“Flickering lights. While also a sign of a malevolent spirit, it can be an indicator that a strong demon is nearby. In their raw form, they look like dark black smoke. That smoke will seek access to your body through your nose and mouth,” I instruct, turning to look back at the Brothers. 

All of whom were staring at me, wide eyed and… damn, I wasn’t sure. Angry? Disbelieving? Incredulous? I couldn’t pin it. But this shit was definitely not what they were used to dealing with, and I was going to need to give them a minute to absorb.

“Uh… ask questions, if you want. If it… makes it easier.”

Zsadist:

Whoa okay. That was a lot of knowledge my male just spilled. I was just accepting the fact that demons had entered our world, but all those other things? Hell no. 

As I looked around the room I couldn’t help but notice my Brothers with the same blank look on their faces. Vishous was the first one to recover. I watched carefully as he lit a blunt then leaned across his desk. 

“Well shit. Always figured there was more to life than just us and the humans.” Vishous said with a shrug. 

Rhage’s brows drew in as he raised his hand. I couldn’t help but laugh as he played the role as a student. Once called on, by the very sexy teacher, he drops his hand and unwraps a lollipop.

“So...like all those things you are saying is bad? But how can that be true? I mean...Hadrian is a shifter and he isn’t bad. Used for bad things, sure, but that isn’t his fault. I guess what I’m saying is, what is trying to come for us currently? Do the demons work with the other parties that were mentioned?”

Ah yes, Hadrian.

Even though we were connected, I had a weird feeling that Rhage was tight with the male as well. Rhage once told me that he can relate to Hadrian in some way and hopes that they would get the chance to spend more time together. 

Speaking of, I needed to check in with the shifter and make sure he was doing alright. We did manage to be on rotation together every now and then, but rarely did we have the time to chit chat. Maybe next time Mal was out fighting and I was at home I could see if Hadrian wanted to grab a beer. Couldn’t hurt.

Mal:

“Not all shifters are bad the way not all vampires are bad,” I conceded, nodding my head. “Hadrian is a special example too. Even in his world, being able to shift into more than one creature is rare. Most shifters, like werewolves, are bound to one animal.”

Pausing, I took in a breath, trying not to let myself be distracted by thoughts of Hadrian. The shifter being metaphysically bound to my mate was still a raw point for me, but I was working through it. Y’know. Slowly.

“But back to demons…” Lifting a hand to my shirt, I tugged down the collar just enough to reveal the pentacle tattoo across my chest. I also tried to ignore the quick way Z’s golden eyes narrowed at my potentially showing skin to his Brothers, but in this instance he was definitely going to have to breathe. “There are ways of ensuring a demon can’t possess you,” I explain. “This symbol is a protective one that repels demons. They can’t possess me. You can also wear the symbol, or other various amulets and protective talismans, to prevent it.”

Letting go of the shirt, I start a list.

“So, symbols. Talismans. Holy water,” I add, my tone rueful as I figured some of them were, undoubtedly, rolling their eyes. After all, holy water was also a mythical vampire repellent. “If a demon has already possessed a body, you can sometimes provoke them into revealing themselves by saying the name of God in latin.” I glance back at all of them. “Their eyes will turn a complete and glossy black with no iris at all. If they turn any other colour… well. Run like hell while screaming my name,” I say dryly. 

Zsadist:

My eyes narrowed dangerously low when I watched Mal reveal his chest to my Brothers. Sure, they’ve seen his bare torso, but that doesn’t mean I wanted them sneaking a peek. 

Quickly my head snaps in Vishous’s direction when he starts sketching in the notebook he brought to Mal’s class. Leaning over my desk to look over his shoulder only to reveal a drawing of the tattoo my male wore on his chest. Vishous continued to underline the shape as I leaned back into my seat. He probably had a plan of making some amulets for us to wear while out on rotation.

Everything Mal described sounded...insane. But I knew first hand that this was serious, and everything that he was saying was true.

“I can’t believe we are going to turn into demon hunters!”  Rhage chimes in with a goofy smile.

I hold back a snort, turning my attention towards Tohrment as he clears his throat. All heads turn towards his direction.

“So...do these demons have a main purpose? Or do they just run around trying to find people to possess. Like we know what the lessers want...I was just wondering if these demons had an end goal.” Tohr murmurs as he crosses his arms. 

Mal:

“Woah, hold your horses dragon boy,” I snort, shaking my head. “I don’t want to turn the Brotherhood into hunters. Believe it or not, there are hunters out there ready to track down demons and the like when they pop up and send them back to Hell. The ‘only’ reason I am teaching ‘anything’ right now is because… well, me being here could bring more of the nasties into our radar, and I want everyone at least prepared to handle it.”

Yeah. Fuck. I ‘so’ did not need to lead these leather clad killers into metaphysical battles. They were all about the bang bang motherfuckers, and you couldn’t waste a ghost or half the things I’d fought with just lead and blades alone.

“Case in point,” I continue, arching a brow. “Half the shit I deal with can’t be snuffed out with a few bullets or a well placed knife to the heart cavity, yeah? Banishing demons requires the seal of solomon and exorcism chants and a whole whack of shit. In the case of possession? Prevention is so much better than cure, so I just want everyone able to avoid it. Depending on who excels at these classes, I may go further to teach exorcisms.”

My eyes flicked to Zsadist, then to Vishous, the two I’d already pegged as most likely to be taught an exorcism. If Vishous didn’t go ahead and research the latin for it without me I’d be shocked.

“As far as a demon’s purpose…” I trailed off, sighed then shrugged. “Really, they want mayhem. They want souls. They don’t want to be in hell. So, all of the above and then some. The better their vessel, the more situated they are to get other demons up and included. So, a breed of rich, powerful vampires with all manner of weapons at their disposal would be ‘very’ appealing,” I add dryly. “So, to reiterate… demons flinch at the latin name of God, burn at the touch of holy water, have dark eyes and look like dark clouds of smoke when they come at you in raw form. Any questions?”

Zsadist:

 Everyone kinda stayed quiet, some shook their heads as Mal asked if anyone had questions. Which honestly I was a little relieved at. That means that my Brothers were taking this seriously. Then again after they discovered Hadrian, and learned about shifters, they must believe that anything is possible at this point. 

“Think this is a good starting point. We need to continue on and train to be able to handle the demons. Mal is right in a sense where we don’t need to go out and look for demons to destroy, but more so be equipped to handle them if they get in the way from our main goal.” 

I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as Rhage’s face fell. Maybe one day Rhage could go on a mission if any of Mal’s hunter friends ever needs a hand. Then again Hollywood actually might cause more damage.

Snorting at the thought as I look up to watch them file out slowly. Vishous stops in front of my mate to show him some things he wrote down then bumps his shoulder before following out after Butch. Figures V would be all about this. I’m sure he would be up all night doing research. 

I lean back in my desk, keeping my eyes on my mate as a private smile slowly forms on my face. Something that my Brothers wouldn’t get to see. Slowly I move to get up, the wooden chair creaking beneath me as I shift my weight off of it. 

“Well, that went...well.” I rumbled as I made my way over to the very handsome teacher. “What do you think?” My arms cross over my broad chest. 

Mal:

With everyone getting the basics down and with no further questions, class seemed to be dismissed. As Vishous stopped to show me his mockup of the tattoo on my chest, I nodded, agreeing with his ideas of necklaces and arm bands bearing the symbol to protect the Brothers. They needed things that were easy to put on or keep close that wouldn’t get in the way of the fight. 

Waiting for Z to come up, I felt myself relaxing the closer he got, until he was right there and I was leaning over to steal a kiss.

“You think it went well?” I murmur, grateful to hear it. “Could you tell I was nervous? Teaching classes is not really my schtick, but everyone seemed to… take it well.”

Sighing, I leant against the desk at the front and gestured backward at the board and the notes I’d made. 

“I know this is new to everyone, but… I appreciate the enthusiasm.” Pausing, I looked my male over and felt a familiar and welcome rush of affection. “You okay?”

Zsadist:

The kiss was soft and I welcomed it by sliding my arms around Mal’s waist. Holding my mate against me as my hand lifted to graze his cheek.

“Yeah, now that everything's okay and you are healed.” I murmur as I avoid his gaze for a moment. Trying not to picture the moment I stabbed my own mate in the chest. 

Clears my throat. “This is good. We needed this done in case we came in contact with another demon. It seems like everyone took it serious for the most part.” I snort thinking of Rhage then shrugs. “Do you feel good about continuing the lessons? I want to make sure every Brother is well equipped to take care of a demon if we come across one. Scribe, don’t need anyone else getting possessed and stabbing people in the manse.”

Mal could have died. So we needed to take this seriously and make sure everyone in the mansion was safe at all times. To think that we let a threat in, that I let a threat in, was unsettling.

Mal:

Nodding, I rubbed a hand down my mate’s arm reassuringly, looking at the empty classroom. I’d already started to take precautions of my own. The second I’d been released from the med wing I’d sought out, of all people, Fritz, asking for a layout of the grounds and every entrance. From there, I’d gone to each one and set up holy seals - wards to keep out demons and trap any that tried to enter. 

“I’ve spoken with Vishous,” I murmur, still thinking about the wards. “I let him know about the wards I put near the entrances - asked him to figure out more permanent solutions to my chalk and salt displays. I think Fritz almost had a coronary when I drew on everything, threw salt everywhere, and told him he couldn’t clean it,” I add ruefully, flashing Z a smile. “But at least that’s a start. I should’ve thought of that when I moved in…”

The admission tasted sour on my tongue, and I looked away from the intensity of that golden gaze to better process my guilt. If I’d had devil’s traps set when I moved in, Zsadist and the demon hitching a ride wouldn’t have got past the door. He’d have been trapped, but performing an exorcism at that point would’ve been a lot fucking easier. But instead I’d been naive, thinking the demons and all the beasties I’d hunted would never find me in Caldwell. And Z had almost paid the price.

“I’m good with continuing lessons, not just on demons,” I said finally, letting out a breath. “And while I was honest when I said I don’t want the Brothers going hunting if I can help it, there is a perk to knowing I have back up if something goes down in our backyard.”

Zsadist:

“Don’t beat yourself up about that. Hell, I’m surprised this is the first time we have come in contact with them. With all the shit we dabble in you would have thought we would have seen them before” I shrug before reaching for my male. My hand cups his nape, forcing his gaze back to mine. 

“Hey. You can’t beat yourself up over this, just like you told me that I can’t even though I do.” I snorted. “It’s done and you are safe in my arms.” My voice cracks slightly at that, holding him a little tighter in my arms. 

“Everything is going well, and I’m grateful to have you teach us how to handle these demons.” I nod before slowly pulling away. 

“Now...come on, let’s head back upstairs…” 

My scarred lips turn up into a playful smirk as I start down the hallway. I couldn’t wait to have my male in our bed and to know that he was safe with me. 

#EndSL #ClassIsIn

[adam-memeleri]

Imperfections

it may not be foreign affairs anymore, but its still ayna day in my heart 😔❤️. thanks @gay-dinosaur-banana-milk-carton for the prompt again, i threw in some angst this time cuz i like pain :) kinky

no idea when anything takes place, but im aiming for during the fake relationship i think ?? who knows tbh

-

tagging -@bubblelaureno @lookingforsomethingcuzimbored @swimmingshoebakerydreamer @alccaddsccup @cardinalnuggets

if you do or do not wanna be tagged

Masterlists shameless self promotion lmao

T Rating (uhhhh i think hurt/comfort? primarily? idk man)

Ayna x MC (Kennedy, they/them)

~2k words unedited but thats nothing new now is it?

-

Ayna’s fingers fasten a necklace clasp behind her neck, every movement careful and precise as she readies herself. They move to her hair, fixing it for the nth time, just to assure it’s perfect.

It has to be perfect, all of it. Every hair, every pore, every fine detail - it’s all been carefully thought through for weeks now, for this one specific date.

Valentine’s Day.

The end all be all, at least this year. She’s never given it much thought before, but she’s never really had a reason to. Until this year. Until this crazy, wild, borderline disastrous year. Until the day Kennedy stumbled into her class, all smiles and longing looks.

Until she spent days looking forward to coffee house meetups, until short texts could make her whole day, until every class was an excuse to share a small smile. And, unfortunately, until those meetups were forced to end, until those texts stopped coming, until class was just a reminder that even smiles were dangerous.

But not today. She had a plan today, a foolproof, perfect plan. No planned meetups, no trackable texts, nothing too out in the open. And she’d be damned if it failed.

She turns from the hanging mirror, shrugging on a jacket and tugging on a nice pair of shoes before straightening. Her reflection stares back at her, carefully done makeup and slightly askew glasses. She quickly adjusts them, tucking back one last strand of hair.

With one last glimpse at herself, she grabs the bouquet of roses she picked out earlier in the day, bright red petals resting on her table. And with that she leaves, exiting her building and venturing onto Vancross campus.

She eventually steps out onto one of the many winding paths leading through the school’s grounds, carefully making her way to the expansive library settled in one corner of campus. It’s familiar warmth shines through the windows, yellow lights on even in the darkening night for cramming and over enthusiastic students.

Ayna’s fingers tighten over the door’s handle, tugging it open as a small, excited grin overtakes her lips. She steps inside, flowers poised in her hands regardless of how cheesy they may be, and scans for

They’re with her. Sitting with her, talking with her, laughing with her. They’ve been doing everything with her, and today’s no different. Today’s not special, not exempt, not reserved for Ayna.

Huddled close at a table, books spread before the pair as they whisper, heads so close. Arms touching, smiles wide, chairs so close. They’re so close, that’s all Ayna can think about as she simply stands there, all her previous excitement evaporating from her body.

And they don’t even notice her. Kennedy’s gaze doesn’t flicker in her direction in the way it always does. Their cheeks don’t flush when they’re caught like they always do in the lecture hall. Their hands don’t fidget with barely contained nerves, atop the table, a pen twirling between anxious fingers.

Their gaze is glued to Evelyn’s features, their cheeks dust in a blush from her words, their hands are relaxed as they lean against her shoulder. They don’t even notice Ayna.

She turns on her heel, quickly rushing out the library’s front doors and into the dusk settled around campus. Her heels clack with some strange anger, some swirling in the pit of her gut as her fist clenches, crushing the bouquet she spent so long picking out.

And all for naught. This is all for naught, that’s the worst part. The outfit, the shoes, the hair and makeup - all for absolutely nothing.

She stalks to a trash can resting beside the pavement, glaring down at it with pale knuckles and a furrow in her brow. She breaks, like a glass hitting concrete. She breaks, stuffing the ridiculous flowers into the bin over and over again, until she’s just needlessly exerting herself, needlessly scratching herself on discarded thorns.

Little nicks on her skin, tiny imperfections to ruin it all. A visual of her failings, a marking to remind her of this disastrous night. A brand forged without fire, one that’ll remain in the morning, even after she’s washed off the rest of tonight. Even when the mascara and curls and jacket are discarded in the next few hours, the cuts will stay, at least for a few days.

She breaks once more, from the trash bin as an angry and hurt tear slips down her cheek. A crumpled fist hurriedly wipes it away, before she’s stamping down the paved path once more, shoulders tight and expression pinched.

“Hey! Ayna!” a voice rings behind her, out of breath as quick footsteps draw closer and closer. “Hey,” a hand softly grasps her sleeve, a smiling face slipping into her line of sight.

“Hey,” she mumbles back, her gaze trained on the pavement beneath her feet, feet that haven’t once halted.

Kennedy slows by her side, falling into step with her easily. “Tatum said he saw you come into the library then leave, what’s up?”

Ayna’s shoulders lift in a halfhearted shrug, slumping with an exhale. “Nothing.”

“You sure? You seem kinda… distant.”

“I’m fine.”

“Well, okay,” Kennedy relents, head swiveling as they search for something to occupy her attention. “Um, happy Valentine’s!” Their hands clap together excitedly, expression alight with a beaming smile. “I wanted to call you or something earlier, but Winston was hovering over me all day and I don’t know… You’re usually busy this time of night and I didn’t want to bother you.”

Ayna shrugs again, her hands fisted in her pockets. “I’m not busy.”

“Really? Then let’s do something!”

Her gaze snaps up, shock sparking throughout her mind. “What?” she blanks, stopping in her tracks to further scrutinise Kennedy.

“Yeah!” Kennedy’s grin is brilliant, even in the low light, before they glance about the quad. Their hands slip into Ayna’s, fingers tangling with hers, before they’re tugging her along, away from the light posts and travelled paths.

She’s led past the bushes, to a secluded bench, empty branches hanging above it, stretching from a large tree. A soft breeze stirs them, whistling through the leafless wood.

“Okay,” Kennedy starts, sucking in a deep breath. “So I know this is super late, and I don’t really know how to go about this, but…” they meet her eyes, hope glimmering within, “would you, Ayna Seth, do me the honour of being my Valentine?”

She blinks. Not a single other muscle moves, her breath halts in her lungs, her brain malfunctions entirely, and the only thing she can do is blink. Again. And again.

“...Ayna?” Kennedy squeezes her hands where they still rest in theirs.

“You really… Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve been trying to find a good time for ages, so I figured… Are you bleeding?”

“What?”

“You’re bleeding! Your hands!” they grip her forearm, tugging her down to the bench, where they carefully cradle her hands in their lap. Their fingers hover over her skin, not sure what to do as they send uneasy glances up to Ayna’s eyes.

She inspects the scratches now, all of them shallow and mostly painless. “It’s just a few cuts,” she mumbles, Kennedy’s panicked gaze quieting her.

“What happened?” they whisper, as if worried the volume of their voice could inflict further damage.

“I, um -” Ayna steals her hands back, folding them in her lap to hide them. “The flowers,” she worries her bottom lip between her teeth, “They had thorns.”

“You should be more careful.”

“Okay,” she nods, still biting her lip.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“You’ve been wanting to ask me out?” They speak at the same time, concern brimming in Kennedy’s eyes and disbelief in Ayna’s.

A grin quirks Kennedy’s lips as they settle against the bench, arm draped over the back. “I asked first.”

“Barely,” Ayna chuckles lighty.

“Still got there first.”

Ayna shakes her head in exasperation, a fond smile lifting her lips. Before it all falls away, replaced by a crease between her brows. “I, um,” she shifts in her seat awkwardly, struggling for the words. “I don’t think I’m as comfortable with the fake relationship as I thought I was…”

“Okay,” Kennedy answers quickly, easily.

“What?” she balks, jaw working for words. “Are you sure?” is all she manages.

“Of course,” they chime, just as quickly, as easily. “If you’re jealous or uncomfortable, I’ll do whatever I can to put a stop to it.”

Ayna’s jaw snaps shut, a frown curving her mouth, “I’m not jealous.”

“Oh really?” Kennedy’s voice hums, a teasing lilt to it.

“I’m not,” Ayna’s frown deepens.

“Okay…” they hum again, leaning closer as their voice lowers. “So you’d have no problem with me, say, asking out Evelyn for real?” Their eyebrow raises, head cocking to the side. “Or what about Blaine? Maybe Zaira…?” they tap their chin thoughtfully.

Ayna starts, “Don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” her voice tapers off, replaced by the bouncing of her leg and the picking of a nail.

“You’re jealous?” Kennedy supplies with an amused smile.

Ayna deflates, sighing heavily, “Yes. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Being… jealous,” she almost spits the word, distaste heavy on her tongue and sloshing in her stomach.

Kennedy shifts closer, their body warm against Ayna’s in the cool night air. “Don’t be. It’s normal, it’s fine,” they take her hand, their palm covering tiny cuts, tiny imperfections with warmth and comfort. “I’d get jealous if you were walking around with someone too.”

“You’re not weirded out by it?”

“No, it’s normal,” They squeeze Ayna’s hand, thumb brushing lightly on her skin. “It’s human. You’re human.”

“I still don’t like it,” she scowls, eliciting a nudge and smirk from Kennedy.

“That’s fine, too,” they reassure, a more serious expression taking over. “So what happened with the thorns?”

“I got you roses,” Ayna’s cheeks flush dark, “Even though I know it’s lame, and then I kinda, uh, threw them out.”

A wide grin breaks across Kennedy’s face as they sidle up against Ayna, throwing their arm over her shoulder. “One:” they count off on the hand resting over her shoulder, “that’s adorable, and two: why’d you toss them?”

She doesn’t move beneath their arm, sitting stiff and rigid, her voice the same, “I got jealous and ruined them. I wanted tonight to be perfect, it was supposed to be perfect, and I ruined it.”

“Stop that. You didn’t ruin anything,” Kennedy scolds. “I told you, jealousy’s human. And I tend to like the things about you that make you human. It’d be weird if my Valentine was a robot,” they tease, nudging Ayna until she joins them in smiling.

She finally faces them fully, her own eyebrow jutting upwards, “I never said I’d be your Valentine.”

“You didn’t, did you?” Their arm retracts, leg folding on the bench as their body rotates towards hers. Their palms clasp in their lap as they lean forward, a smirk on their lips. “So what’ll it be, Ayna? Be my Valentine? My perfectly imperfect Valentine?”

She chuckles, shaking her head as she finally relaxes, the teasing familiar. “That doesn’t make any sense,” she smiles softly, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind her ear, unbothered by it.

“It does if you turn off the robot brain,” Kennedy lightly taps Ayna on the nose, laughing when her face scrunches.

“The robot brain is a part of the Valentine’s package.”

Kennedy squints, eyes roving over Ayna’s features. The askew glasses, the smudged lipstick, the flyaway hairs. “Are the roses also a part of it?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Then I’m all in,” they grin, just as infectious and brilliant as always. “So? Valentines?” they prod, wiggling their eyebrows playfully.

Ayna smiles softly back, scratched hands rising to cup Kennedy’s cheeks and close the already shrinking distance between them. “Valentines,” she murmurs against their lips, a whispered promise. Before they meet, light and soft and full of the light that’s held beyond the bushes.

[just-some-gt-trash]

1.- Horns/Halo

First day of my October prompt list! Did I almost didn’t make it, maybe. But here it is!

Pairings: Carrot Kings (Thomas x Nico)

Summary: An angel and a devil get casually assigned to fix/ruin the same situation on Earth. Now they have to deal with each other getting in the middle of their work.

Warnings: Mentions of death, heaven and hell. Injuries. Blood. Cursing. Mentions of past crimes. Reverse!Thomas(? (Or at least waaay ooc)

——————————————���————————

It was an easy task. Look after the human and make sure they don't violate their conditional release. Easy, he’s done it plenty of times before. Of course it was a lot harder when you had a devil constantly erasing your process.

Nico groaned and let his papers fall to the ground, turning into feathers and disappearing in thin air. Every plan he had tried failed and he was running out of ideas. “Stupid devil"

“Having a creative block bird?”

Nico looked behind him to see the stupid devil in cuestion floating behind him, Thomas. “For the last time, I’m not a bird” he rolled his eyes.

Thomas shrugged “you have wings, your wings have feathers, and you’re probably a product of the government used to spy on mortals”

“Oh please, you know all politicians will end in your department” Nico stood up from the bench he was sitting on and started to float away.

Thomas nodded and floated behind him. “I know! It’s really fun to torture them” he chuckled.

“Why are you following me?” Nico didn’t turn to look at him. “Don’t you have enough with messing up this person’s life?”

“I’m doing my job! Just like you!” Thomas hurried to float in front of Nico. “Look, is it my fault this human is a piece of shit and ended at jail in the first place?”

Nico stopped and crossed his arms “No, but they want to be better, and you are getting in the middle of that!”

Thomas smirked “I thought angels couldn’t yell at people”.

“Do you think we could survive without yelling at annoying devils like you?”

“Point taken”

Nico sighed “now, if you excuse me.” He pushed Thomas aside and started flying away. He needed to work on a new plan ASAP. Suggestive language and actions.

It has been almost a year and the human hasn’t had any improvement. The angel on the shoulder wasn’t working anymore and Nico had to go to his superiors to ask if he could go to the extreme and befriend them as a human. Luckily, due to the circumstances, he was allowed to.

So here he was, in a coffee shop in a human body. It felt so weird and he was still getting used to being mortal, but he had no time to lose.

A dark cloud appeared on his shoulder and materialized on the devil he got to know a little too well for the past year. “Well well, what do we have here?”

Nico took a deep breath and decided to ignore Thomas. He didn’t need any other humans thinking he was crazy for talking with nothing.

“Awwwe, nothing? I thought you would be more excited about this whole thing.” Thomas stood up and floated to the top of the table. “You’re a human! You get to enjoy all their trash! Like uh, cold soup! Or public transportation!” He floated closer to Nico’s face “It’s exciting”

Nico huffed “sounds like you’re the one who wants to be human” he whispered.

Thomas smiled, his fangs showing up “Are you kidding! Of course I do! There’s so much stuff I never get to try. Besides, the only people I ever get to bother are those I’m assigned to. Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to punch an ashole on the face and I can’t?”

Nico let out a soft laugh and then looked away with a slight blush. He shook his hand as if he was brushing off a fly, which it felt like he was. “Well I don’t see the appeal”.

Thomas yelped and dodged Nico’s hand “that because you don’t live in literal hell. You pesky angels get to go anywhere you like and do anything you want.” He crossed his arms and moved his tail around. “The only thing we do is push people into lava or rip off their dick, it gets boring”

Nico glanced at Thomas. Was he actually pitying the devil? That was ridiculous. He's a devil! And he’s been sabotaging his work for the past year. He was just talking about torturing people for eternity and he felt bad for him? It didn’t make sense.

Thomas kept rambling about the amazing stuff humans had. “Oh! And the best part?” He grew to human size and sat on Nico’s lap, wrapping his legs around his torso.

Nico blushed darkly “w-what are you?”

“Humans get to have all kinds of fun~” Thomas bit his lip, enjoying the look on the angel's face.

“O-okay enough!” Nico pushed Thomas aside and stood up, accidentally bumping against another human. He could feel a few drops of hot coffee on his back, which could only mean the rest of it was spilled on the human’s chest. Nico was quick to turn around. “I’m so sorry! I uh” He looked around and grabbed some napkins from his table to start cleaning the human's shirt.

The human groaned annoyed and pushed Nico aside. “Stop, stop. You're only making it worse” They just rolled their eyes at the angel and walked away.

Nico sighed and sat back down. Bothering a human was already bad enough, but this was the human. He hadn't even noticed when he walked in! Nico glared at Thomas. “See what you did?”

Thomas smirked “My dear Nico, that was always the plan.” He winked at the angel before disappearing in a black cloud.

Nico slammed his head against the table once the devil was gone. He groaned, this plan couldn't work if the human hated him! Back to the drawing board it was.

“Thanks again for inviting me” Nico went out of the apartment and looked back at the human that was now his friend.

“Of course Nico. It's always a pleasure to have you over. See you tomorrow for our coffee?”

Nico nodded with a smile “See you tomorrow” he waved at them and started to walk away. Another year has passed and he was actually getting some improvement. He was friends with the human! They hung out a lot and his influence was improving their behavior.

Nico walked out of the building and towards the bus station. He had a small apartment that was assigned to him when he first became mortal but still didn't know how to drive, or had enough money for a car. Public transportation wasn't the best but it was better than walking.

He could hear someone walking behind him. It was late at night so not many people were outside. But this person was following him. God, he didn't want to deal with an assault right now.

Nico noticed the bus had just arrived at his station so he hurried to it, only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder. That’s it, he didn’t care if he was an angel or whatever. Nico turned around and punched the person behind him.

Thomas groaned and let go of Nico. He coughed and spit out his tooth “Woah. If you wanted me to taste blood you could have bought me an ice cream.” The devil rubbed his chin, “and right on the spot! Yeez Nic, I didn’t think angels were so good at hitting people.”

Nico’s eyes went wide when he saw Thomas. “Oh God, I’m so sorry!” He got closer to inspect Thomas’ mouth but stopped, “wait, why am I apologizing?”

“Because you’re literally a saint”

“Shus” Nico groaned. “What were you thinking?! You can’t just follow someone like that!” At least no one was around to judge him as he yelled at nothing. Now he had a bleeding devil with a missing tooth. Wait bleeding? “Why do you have blood?”

Thomas smirked and chuckled “Let me tell you it tastes way better raw like this.” He cleaned the blood dripping from his mouth and licked his finger. “Mortals are so weird”

Nico froze “you didn’t”

“I did~” Thomas laughed “And it’s amazing! I couldn’t let you have all the fun!”

If he could, Nico would be having smoke coming out of his ears “You literally stole my strategy!”

Thomas shrugged “Duh. I’m a devil, we do those stuff. You should be surprised it took me this long”.

“You know what? No, I can’t deal with this right now. I’ve had a long day and this wonderful human body of mine is exhausted” Nic turned around and started to walk away.

“Your loss Nic-a-dick! I’m going to take the bus on the other side of the road so I take the wrong bus and I have to get another one back!” Thomas started to walk across the street.

Nico huffed “right, because that sounds just lov-“ he turned around to look at the devil and noticed a car was driving right to him. Thomas was too distracted rambling about gross seats to notice. Nico didn’t have to think twice before he ran towards him, “Thomas!”, and pushed him out of the way.

Thomas huffed as he fell to the ground, scraping his face with the cement. He was about to throw some snarky comment at Nico, but he felt like his newly acquired heart had stopped. Thomas didn’t get hit by the car, but Nico did. “No, no, no, no!”

Nico couldn’t even process what was going on, it had all been so quick. He just felt pain, and could barely hear Thoms’ voice in the distance.

Then, a wave of a warm feeling flooded his body. Despite having lived in heaven all his life, he had never felt anything like this. It was so peaceful and he felt like every single part of his body was glowing. He didn’t want to stop feeling like this. He needed to know why he felt like this. So he opened his eyes.

Thomas held Nico’s face as he tried to do the CPR thing they always did at movies. He broke apart from Nico’s lips, “come on. Please, this has to work. You can’t die on me!”

Nico reached towards the blurry figure in front of him “I-I’m here…"

Thomas felt like he was going to cry “You asshole!” He grabbed Nico’s hand, “don’t you ever scare me like that again!”

Nico let out a half chuckle, half cough. “You… care a-about me?”

“And I will negate it if you repeat it” Thomas used Nico’s hand to clean his tears “but I suppose I do”

He didn’t understand why, but the only thing Nico thought of doing was cupping Thomas’ cheek and trap him in a kiss. So he did it. That warm feeling returned to his body as he did.

Thomas’ eyes went wide, but he didn’t push away. He has been wanting to do this for a long time now, though he would never admit it.

The clouds on the dark sky opened to let a streak of light shine through right over them, making the rest of the world stop.

Nico pulled away “I think we’re in trouble” he chuckled a bit.

Thomas chuckled as well “I don’t care. Breaking rules is what I do, remember?” And that was the only warning Nico got before getting another kiss from the devil.

[twilightknight17]

We’re at the end of the road, folks.

And god damn, I feel so validated by my Sojiro characterization. Wow. Thanks for basically making me canon for ten more seconds, Atlus. XDDD

So when last we left our intrepid heroes, they were laying at the bottom of the Jail of the Abyss, because Ichinose is an asshole. So we had to fight our way back up, carrying Sophia’s unconscious body. Which wasn’t that bad; the Jail isn’t very big. We left Sophia at the door to keep her safe, and then charged back into the hall of the Ark to hack Ichinose’s exploding crystal box thing.

Ichinose doesn’t understand why we came back.

So, yeah. I guess like... bizarro-world Maruki? Maruki wanted to alleviate suffering by granting everyone’s wishes. EMMA’s going to make it so that people can’t wish for anything.

After a kick-ass hacking battle set to the new version of Rivers in the Desert, Ichinose yells at us about our right to judge. Why should humanity keep this painful world, just because WE’RE strong? Just because we’ve never screwed up or suffered?

Which, clearly she has no idea who the fuck she’s talking to.

We’ve worked too hard to listen to that kind of bullshit.

Ichinose proclaims that “humans don’t need hearts” and charges up the laser crystal to blast us again, and Sophia steps in to block the attack. She’s still fighting Ichinose’s control even though Ichinose insists that she’s just a faulty prototype.

Apparently Ichinose created Sophia in the first place because she spent a lifetime being called a heartless doll, so she made an AI to help her learn about the heart.

I think you’re the problem, but not for the reasons everyone else is saying.

But she got angry when Sophia started asking questions of her own and basically tossed her aside, until EMMA found her and dropped her into the Shibuya Jail.

And Sophia, unlike her creator, has learned and grown, and is tired of being given orders. She’s ready to make her own choices.

That is certainly a persona.

I gotta admit, they got me. I was wondering why Sophia didn’t have her arcana yet, but for some reason, I also wasn’t expecting her to get a proper persona. I’m now wondering about the implications of someone being able to code an AI capable of developing a soul that can summon a persona. There’s a zero percent chance that Ichinose had any access to plumes of dusk, which are the reason that Aigis and Labrys gained enough consciousness to have personas. So Sophia is legitimately a miracle piece of technology.

Pandora is an interesting choice, but I dunno if I can articulate that beyond a surface-level, “Oh, because she’s Hope, and Hope was still in the box.”

I swear to god, every major villain in this game is trying to be Goro Akechi. For the last goddamn time, we don’t kill people. Get up, Ichinose. We’re leaving.

Ryuji literally grabs her by the arm and drags her out, because she’s trying to stay behind. Which just confirms for me that if Goro hadn’t put up that bulkhead door, we’d have dragged his stupid ass out of the Ship, too. XD

Back to the real world, and Tokyo is blacking out, and the Tower is losing its shit.

The metaverse is fusing with reality, the Tower is becoming the Tree of Knowledge, and hell yes we are climbing this tower after all!

Morgana points out that this is the same thing that happened last year, and Zenkichi freaks out a little bit.

You’re lucky you moved to Kyoto, sir. You missed quite a bit.

I love these kids, though. They’ve got so much black humor about this whole god thing.

The metaverse encroaching on reality means that everyone has to cram into the bus in their thief gear. Zenkichi, please. Your hat. Sir.

I love climbing this tower. I’ve been here, too! Also they have butter. XD

I was expecting the Mementos version of the lower observation deck, and instead I got some weird amalgam between Mementos and Azathoth’s boss chamber.

We had to fight Metatron as the guardian of the last elevator, which is another parallel to Yaldabaoth’s archangels. And then it’s up to what I guess used to be the high observation deck to fight the big box.

EMMA insists that all humanity wants is to let it give them all the answers, and it throws them into some sort of alternate fog world full of the voices of the public.

The Thieves are all separated, trapped in the fog. Each of them has to find their way out, and they realize that the fog of the Desires is protecting EMMA. EMMA knows exactly how calling cards work, so they won’t work on her. Instead, the Thieves decide that they need to send the calling card to the public, so that they’ll become aware of their desires again and the desires will crystalize.

...oh come on, Atlus. We’re right in the endgame.

One last hacker battle to break into EMMA’s server room in the tower, and Futaba and Ichinose manage to hack EMMA itself to deliver a calling card to everyone at once.

Love you, Zenkichi. We’ve taken out two gods already. We’re good.

Confronting the Ark again reveals a bunch of freaky tentacle arms grabbing the desires, and then the box turns into some sort of massive figure that looks sort of like Yaldabaoth, except less robot and more seraphim. It literally names itself the Demiurge, so I feel like EMMA may be drawing something from the lingering dregs of Yald’s influence? It’s cool.

Clearly no one told you what happened to the last false god that thought it knew what was best for humanity. ;) “Hope binds humanity to misery” is bullshit.

After a... not very difficult first phase, the Demiurge reveals its true form, and we split into three teams to take out its support orbs (modeled after the sephirot) and the main body.

I really liked the setup for the last boss. The teams were the first instance where it was really apparent that the whole team was fighting together. Each of the three battles was happening concurrently, and destroying the orbs has a concrete effect on the main fight. I wish we’d gotten to do things like this more often, especially during the Shadow Thieves fight.

That said, the main body was actually the easiest part of the fight? All the attacks were really telegraphed, and not particularly hard to avoid. Except for the spear jab.

But it finished off with a full-team all-out attack, and that was awesome.

The desires began to return to their owners, and we get to bask in a job well done once again.

Upon returning to the real world, it’s the next morning. Sophia’s happy that she got to be a hero, Zenkichi’s heading off to properly arrest Owada, and the rest of us need to head home, because we were supposed to be home last night. Zenkichi can’t figure out why we consider him a phantom thief, since he “only joined [us] to use [us]”. Which is silly. The Phantom Thieves are built on the bonds of friendship and stalking! It’s too late, Zenkichi. You and Akane have been adopted.

I’m a little disappointed we didn’t get to tell Akane the truth. That would have been great.

Atlus personally reaches out and pats me on the head, because Sojiro has the absolute perfect reaction to his kids coming home after a nationwide manhunt for them.

I feel so valid making him serve Lavenza coffee and be completely nonplussed about a guy marrying Death. I love him. We’re so lucky to have Sojiro. XDDDD

The next day, the kids have a celebration party for their victory, and learn that Akira is going home the next day. This kid needs to catch a break. He can’t even have a few days to relax with his friends. X’‘‘D

Everyone goes to see off Akira, though we detour to Shibuya to meet Ichinose. A news report shows that Owada was successfully arrested, and apparently Ichinose tried to turn herself in to the police, and they didn’t believe a word of it.

This is just highlighting my issues with Maruki. Even if he doesn’t think he did anything wrong to society as a whole, he never apologizes to them for what he put them through. Especially Akira. Ichinose turns around and helps them stop the final boss, and her last scene is her apologizing to the Thieves and trying to make amends for her actions. Maruki’s last scene is... “If things get bad, you can start over like me! Now we’re even!” We are not.

Sophia leaves to help Ichinose learn about the heart, Akira promises to come back for winter break, the Phantom Thieves go their separate ways once again, and the credits roll.

I’m gonna leave my final impressions in a different post, because this one is long enough already. So... look forward to that?

[keijikunn]

All Of Your Soul

Part of the @babythotshq mini collab!! You can check the other parts here!

Pairing: demon!Tsukishima Kei x gender neutral!reader Genre: angst, crack if you squint for like 2 seconds  Summary: Your superstitious grandmother always told you not to get involved with demons, but how could you not when Tsukishima Kei, the one you’ve summoned, was so alluring? Word count: ~3.4k

Author’s note: Happy Halloween!! I hope you enjoy this piece, and a massive shoutout to @hidden-otaku-stuff  @kaitycole  and of course @babythotshq who helped me out during the process of writing this fic! Love you all mwah mwah 💞

WARNINGS: mentions of blood, minor and major character death, yandere!tsukki, mentions of violence, mention of sex, swearing

Ever since you were a kid, your grandmother warned you about the evil creatures that cohabited the world you lived in. She was often called crazy because of it - after all, she was an old lady talking non-stop about demons. However, that topic amazed you rather than giving you chills down your spine. Your curiosity grew progressively as she told you the same thing over and over: “Don’t mess up with them, or else they’ll take your soul away”.

You always thought grandma told you those stories just to scare you off, to make sure you would stay in line. But the way you’d laugh it off at the age of 7 almost like daring the threat hinted your disbelief. 

"The entire hell can come get me, they won't be able to touch me!" you once told your grandmother, which earned you a scoff and a flick on your forehead. 

"Oh, Y/N" she cooed, almost in pity, patting your head. "You will regret it when you're older," 

And once again, you laughed at her. 

It became part of your childhood, long forgotten as the years passed by and the concept of believing in demons appeared to be silly. Your memory permanently buried it in the depths of your mind after your dear grandmother passed away, leaving this world with her tales from underworld creatures.

A long time since she passed,, you remembered the spooky way the old woman would tell you different myths when you were packing your belongings to leave for college. The old box stuffed inside the attic filled with dusty and thick books lit a lamp in your head, concluding your grandma used to tell you those stories. 

Not only did she have short terrifying ones, your grandma seemed to be way more superstitious than just believing in simple tales. Some of them had different symbols, with many side notes written - assumably - by your late relative. The barely readable handwritten overlapped one another, all information mixing into a big mess that you could hardly understand. 

“Granny was really into it, huh?” 

It wouldn’t hurt reading them - after all, it would be for the sake of your childhood. 

And just like you found yourself drawing strange patterns inside a circle on the floor of your bedroom with chalk, it hardly appeared but you didn’t mind. It’s just some made up stories, you thought, proceeding to let an airy laugh just thinking about your grandmother tossing and turning in her coffin. Your disbelief in these surely came from your young age. After that, all you needed to do was a single drop of your blood and say some weird phrases. 

“If it doesn’t work, it’s because of these freaking sentences,” you muttered, pricking your finger with a needle. As the red liquid fell on the center of the circle you drew, the difficult words slipped out of your lips.

A few minutes passed by after you finished the ritual and the bedroom was engulfed in silence. How you wished you could talk to your grandmother right now, just to rub it in her face that she was wrong - even though you had a mess to clean. Tossing the old book aside, you laughed at the situation you had put yourself in and undid a part of the draw. 

“You know, ever since you were a kid your sassy attitude got me on my nerves,” a second voice echoed, a male one. 

You have never turned your head so quickly in your life, looking for the person who just spoke to you. A tall, blonde guy stood on the other side of the circle; the black dress shirt had the first three buttons undone matching with the black slacks. He was handsome, and you wondered if it was your mind’s work to show you one of the hottest men you’ve ever seen (and imagined) in your life. “It’s rude to stare”

“I must be crazy,” you laughed, rubbing your eyes, when you opened them again, he was still there, with an annoyed look on his features. “Granny must be pranking me, there’s no fucking way I summoned-”

“A demon, actually you just did, haven’t you read the book, dumbass?” he hissed, rolling his eyes. The blonde man crouched to look at the poorly drawn summoning circle and scoffed. “I wonder how you managed to summon me, this shit is terrible, not to mention your Latin”

“Well, I’m sorry if it’s fucking hard to draw it, let alone speaking goddamn Latin!” This guy, this demon was pissing you out, and he had only been in your room for less than five minutes. “Okay, I guess you’re real, my grandma was right, go to hell”

“A lot of people have already told me this joke, and I have to remind every single human that it sucks,” he snapped angrily, before sighing in defeat and looking at you. “What do you want from me?”

“Me, nothing,” you chimed sarcastically. “I was serious when I told you to go to hell, demon.”

“Can you please not call me demon?!”

“So how should I call you? Rex?”

“Jesus, you’re so annoying-”

“I thought demons couldn’t say Jesus’ name, Rex”

“For fucks sake, it’s Tsukishima!” he said louder than he wanted, his voice vibrated inside your body sending chills down your spine. “You’re the worst human that has ever summoned me, and it was just for fun!” 

“Then stop complaining and return to hell, it’s not that hard!” you shot back, just as annoyed as him. A part of yourself, the superstitious one, the same one that had believed for a short while in your grandma, was screaming at yourself for picking up a fight with a demon, but your prideful one wouldn’t let that go easily. 

“I can’t just do it when you fucking used your blood while summoning me!” Tsukishima exclaimed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t you know how to read? It clearly says that blood rituals are strong, they tie your soul to me.”

“You’re telling me you, a demon, can't undo this shit?” you asked, at the sight of the male shaking his head sideways you groan frustrated. "What kind of shitty demons are you?"

"A demon that is way smarter than you, idiot." he mocked angrily.

"What am I going to do with such a pain in the ass?" The question didn't look for a proper answer from him, but either way he grunted in protest. "If I pray to whatever god, will you be repelled?"

"You're really the dumbest human I’ve ever met," Tsukishima stated as he rolled his eyes. "Of course not, what do you think I am? An ordinary demon from a shitty movie?"

"Well-"

"You know what? Don't answer it," he cut you, shaking his hand as if the gesture would shut you off. "Clean this mess, it's giving me chills seeing such a bad job." 

"Use your demon powers to clean it all!"

"I'm not a fucking fairy!"

Tsukishima was just a single demon, but his presence seemed to bring the whole hell to you. His witty and unnecessary comments easily threw you off the edge, and as if he noticed, which he probably did, the man made sure to say at least one provoking statement every single time he opened his mouth.

It wasn’t easy to get used with his presence, especially when Tsukishima made sure to remind you every minute you were awake that “it’s your fault”. 

Yet, the demon did not tell you how to break whatever bond you established with him. You came to the conclusion that his duty whenever he was summoned was to annoy people out. What a useless demon, you thought once, just to hear him screaming profanities and insults inside your head.

You have never imagined that this situation would drag for so long. Tsukishima was there on your first day at college, and he made sure to make you embarrass yourself in front of your class. He was also there to ruin your first date with a cute guy from one of your periods, Inuoka ended the night a bit paranoid about someone following him around.

“I think you told me you weren’t a fairy to do this kind of thing, Tsukki” you commented sarcastically, feeling the anger bubble inside your chest. 

“You heard it right, Y/N,” he answered, throwing himself at your not-so-comfortable sofa, stretching his legs over the coffee table in front of it. “That guy looked like a little boy scared of his own shadow!”

“Why did you do it?!” The question came out more desperate than you wanted it to be. Inuoka wasn’t the first man Tsukishima pulled a stunt on, and by the way your personal demon (as you address him) acts it’s not going to be the last. “He was so nice, he didn’t deserve this childish attitude of yours!”

“Well, he doesn’t have part of your soul like I do,” Tsukishima muttered quietly, but his eyes spoke volumes about his feelings. The possessiveness shone in his golden-brown orbs, a hint of jealous maybe, and you wondered once again if he had feelings like you.

“Tsukishima…” 

All words left your brain as the tall man walked over you, holding your face with his hand. He ran his thumb over your lips and squeezed your cheeks with his grip, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. “What are you-”

“You’re mine.” He spoke firmly, not giving a chance to say anything back. “I have a part of me in you and part of your soul is mine. You are mine”

Without a warning, Tsukishima leaned down to smash his lips against yours. His movements were harsh, but it didn’t take too long for you to give in into the heated kiss. Your head was empty, and all you could feel was his mouth on yours and a slender hand travelling inside your shirt. The lack of air in your system made you pull away from the contact, locking eyes with him with a clear question mark above your head. 

“What the hell was that, Tsukki?” The anger vanished, leaving behind confusion and a bit of… desire inside of you. 

“I’m just showing you who you belong to.” 

At that moment you couldn’t see all the red flags on that simple statement. The frustration of many failed dates piled up on your nerves to the point that you were not able to see the meaning behind those words. The mere thought of a man desiring you probably the same way as you did blinded you, and that made you snake your hands around Tsukishima’s neck and bring him down to another feverish kiss.

The rest of the night passed by like a blur, Tsukishima’s touch was hot on your skin - and you enjoyed it. The sane part of your brain didn’t have enough room to question your actions: what on Earth were you doing hooking up with a demon? Were you that desperate to be intimate with someone? As quickly as those thoughts invaded your mind, the man towering over you proceeded to take your focus to himself

You don’t know when you fell asleep, but once you woke up, feeling sore as fuck, you noticed Tsukki lying next to you. His eyes were closed, yet you knew for a fact he wasn’t in a deep slumber-  he didn't need sleep. Nevertheless, you took a few moments to appreciate the view, at the same time flashes of your previous activities together came to you just like a fever dream. 

“You don’t have a brain to think too much, dumbass,” he said without even looking at you, a sly smile graced his face nicely and you wondered if he was, at some point in his life, an actual angel. “Do you know who you belong to?”

“I’m not really sure,” you replied shamelessly. Tsukishima’s eyes opened to look straight at yours, arching his eyebrows at your daring tone. “All I remember is a very annoying demon being a bitch about a guy I was interested in”

Messing with Tsukishima became one of your favourite things, because his immediate response was to pin you on the next hard surface and engage in a messy kiss. Being with him was way different than any other relationship you've had, which weren't many since that demon was on your ass ever since you started college. 

Either way, you loved the push and pull between you two. The constant bickering would eventually turn into a heated make out session, and sometimes even more than that. You completely forgot that the man you were in a sort of relationship (if you could call it that way) was a supernatural creature; your mind chose to bury the important information of who Tsukishima really was: a demon.

His actions started to change after over a month or two since you fucked for the first time. Although the snarky and teasing comments were far from coming to an end, you found yourself curled next to him every night. Tsukishima would hold you before you sleep, even if he had to spend a few hours in the same position (which never lasted long, he learned in the hard way that you toss and turn a lot). 

You also changed around him, much to your surprise. You no longer found other men at college attractive; your Friday nights were spent on your couch with Tsukishima next to you, with a random movie on the TV while the two of you kiss. He was your getaway when things got too rough for you, with his hot touches and endless desire. 

Maybe it was the attention Tsukishima gave you, or perhaps that he has been with you for so long, but he managed to win your heart completely. Every time the blonde demon hissed “you’re mine”, how he always satiates your desires and even the awkward moments when he tries to cuddle you. Every little thing this man does pull the strings attached to your heart and mind. 

And you knew Tsukishima noticed your change of demeanor as well, how you got clingier as the months passed by, the soft tone on your voice and the lack of sarcastic responses to his mean comments. You were falling in love with him, and it was the most obvious thing Tsukki has ever witnessed during his whole life dealing with humans.

“I think I love you, Tsukki” you managed to say, your body trembled due to the intense pleasure the man above you just provided. His eyes were unreadable as he looked down at you, but you could dare to say there was a hint of fondness swimming in them. “I never thought it would be possible to fall in love with in all creatures, a demon”

“Yeah?” he caressed your cheek, tracing down to your neckline and pressing on the reddish marks on your skin. “And you were the almighty kid who didn’t believe in demons”

“A pretty annoying demon changed my mind, I have to add” the smile on your face was small, but held so much meaning. However, Tsukishima didn’t mirror your feelings, displaying a rather sadistic one instead. “And you, have you changed your mind about humans?”

“Who knows?” Tsukishima asked rhetorically, letting his body fall next to yours on the bed. "You're the most… interesting human I've met." 

You laughed at his comment, pressing your face against his side in a loving manner. The fact that Tsukishima stood still instead of responding to the display of affection went unnoticed by you; he was being himself, you tried to justify his stiffness. 

Your relationship with him was just like that: you being overly affectionate and Tsukishima… being himself, the hard to approach demon with beautiful looks and with a magnetic aura. You fell easily for him, like getting used to a new daily routine. In a matter of time you found yourself being more vocal about your quick paced heart, the butterflies flying inside your stomach and even the high pitched tone of your voice whenever you couldn't retort one of his comments. 

The man, on the other hand, didn’t follow this demeanor - in fact, Tsukishima started to act the opposite way. He would avoid your touches like the plague, leaving your apartment late at night and returning near the afternoon with purple marks on his neck and collarbones. Something inside you, jealousy, lit up like setting something on fire: wild, uncontrolled and destructive. Once it starts burning, it won’t stop easily. 

“Can’t you stop fucking other people around?!” You screamed at him, not caring if the clock on the wall just hit three in the morning. “Am I not enough for you?”

“Stop making a case out of it, Y/N” Tsukishima rolled his eyes trying to pass through you, only to be blocked by your body. “Jesus, why are you being so jealous?! We have nothing between us”

“I am fucking in love with you, dumbass!” Your high pitched voice was followed by a dead silence. Tsukishima stared at you blankly while you took deep breaths in order to calm yourself, but the adrenaline of your confession didn’t help you stay quiet. “I’ve been head over heels for you for the longest time and you proceeded to hook up with other people every night… Am I that easy for you? I love you with all my heart, a part of my soul is yours- why can’t you do the same?”

All you could hear at first was your erratic breathing pattern, then the room was filled with his laugh. He was laughing as if someone had just told him the funniest joke he ever heard, the way his torso bent forward to accompany sick amusement creeped you out. Tsukishima pretended to wipe a tear and smiled at you. 

“Oh, Y/N… You’re definitely something else, huh?” He said rhetorically, stretching his arm so his hand could cup your face. You stood still, suddenly unsure about his actions and words. Tsukishima has never used such a cold and psychotic tone with you, let alone that sadistic smirk hiding so many feelings. “So you finally accepted that you’re mine, right?”

“H-How can I be yours if you don’t give yourself to me, as well?” Never in your life have you felt so terrified, something in Tsukishima’s demeanor screamed that he wasn’t joking around. He was about to do something bad, and it would be against you. “Isn’t my love enough for you?”

“Well, to be honest? It’s almost enough” he agreed, his index finger traced down your cheeks, following down your neck until it pointed directly to the left side of your chest, above your beating heart. “So, shall I claim what is mine?”

The time seemed to be slowed down, your heartbeats were loud in your ears and your limbs were numb - you couldn’t move them at all. Regardless, it would be impossible for you, a mere human, to stop Tsukishima from slamming his hand against your chest. You didn’t feel physical pain, but the sensation of something, someone wrapping slender fingers around your inner self made you scream. 

“Tsukishima, w-what are you doing?” Your trembling voice made him laugh, the same hand he used to hit you fully on display for you to see him close it. The immediate reaction of you was a shriek, as if the demon was squeezing your insides. “What the fuck, Tsukki?”

 “Why are you so surprised?” Tsukishima asked with fake innocence, wiping the tears you didn’t know you shed. “You just told me you loved me with all your heart, that a part of your soul is mine… So I’m claiming my belongings, after all, this is the kind of demon I am: whenever a stupid little human like you summons me with blood, they sell their souls to me. It’s a matter of time for me to get it”

“I… I trusted you, Tsukki…” Your sobs interrupted your own speech. All the intimate moments you two have spent together were pure acting, meaningless, just to make you give your everything spontaneously to him. 

Your grandmother was right. You regretted every single interaction you had with Tsukishima, the demon you summoned before entering college. 

“Well, it’s your own fault.” With that, Tsukishima harshly pulled his hand backwards, leaving behind only an empty body with no soul. 

TAGLIST

crossed users are the ones i couldn’t tag!

@jovialnoise @paripedia @angmarwitch @shinhiromi @mariachiiii @elianetsantana @moonlightaangel @vicassa @boosyboo9206 @shrimpypenis @sunshine-hina @kozupresh @humanitysbiggestsimp @atsumubabe​ @sachirou-senpai

[dustedmagazine]

Ian Mathers’ 2020: We’re stuck inside our own machines

I’ve had a song I loved in high school and haven’t thought much about since stuck in my head. The song “Apparitions” by the Matthew Good Band is a fine example of the alt rock of the late 90s; if you grew up then but somewhere down in the states (or elsewhere) instead of my southern Ontario you may well have your regional equivalents, and like this one they may not resonate terribly strongly outside of their time and place. It popped back into my head after a long time recently and of course 2020 has changed it a little. A song that as a teen I felt keenly as about loneliness (albeit also about how technology can feed into that) of course now plays on my nerves as another small piece of art about the way that most of us (those scared and/or responsible anyway) have only that relatively narrow, technologically mediated connection to the people we love. All of us, artists and listeners alike, are trying to fit our feelings and art and selves down these little connections, with some success.

On a personal level, 2020 wound up being stressful in ways we couldn’t have predicted even after the pandemic hit. In circumstances that could have seen governments on this continent support those unable to work (and those who shouldn’t have to), support those workers who are truly essential, support workers and renters and even landlords and small businesses, instead we got a near-total abeyance of those governments using the resources we provide them with to save any of us. On a personal level my wife and I were lucky enough to be able to work from home (not that it didn’t come with its own forms of stress, and now that I’m off until January I have several work/stress-related illnesses to recover from) but still saw friends and loved ones lose good, used-to-be-sustainable livings overnight, saw family businesses succumb to a near-total absence of effective government support after months of trying to keep above water, etc.

It is probably no surprise that this is not a situation conducive to listening to music, let alone writing about it; I have deliberately and happily kept busy on behind the scenes stuff at Dusted that I could still manage but looking, at the end of the year, at the amount I managed to actually create is demoralizing if not at all shocking. I’m not sure I think next year will be ‘better’ in many important ways, although at our job there is a growing feeling among coworkers that next year has to have some work/life balance because 2020 was, maybe more than anything else, unsustainable.

That’s not to say I didn’t spend a lot of time and emotion on music this year, and if nothing else constant sleep deprivation, stress, and panic meant I was probably open to being deeply moved by all sorts of art even more than normally (it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even read a sad or moving twitter thread out loud to my wife without getting teary, which is kind of… nice?). Funnily enough the band that did the most to keep me sane didn’t really put out anything in 2020. Personal favorite, Low, instead started, in early April, getting on Instagram with something they called on whim “It’s Friday I’m in Low.” With one brief break they have now done by my count at least 35 shows (catalogued here, by the way), every Friday at about 4 my time.

Admittedly it’s easier for Low to pull this off than some bands, since the 2/3 of the trio that sing are a married couple (they’ve had a couple of socially-distanced backyard shows with bassist Steve Garrington, but he’s mostly been isolating elsewhere). These shows have seen the band’s Alan Sparhawk take a mid-set break to do follow-up phone interviews with the acts featured in the COVID-curtailed touring bands series Vansplainingthat they started on YouTube, or just to give a tour round their vegetable garden and talk tips. It’s seen Alan and Mimi Parker draw on their impressive, 25+ year body of work (averaging 4-5 songs a set, I don’t think they’ve repeated themselves yet) and talk a bit between songs about pandemics, politics, song choices, and whether Alan should grab his bike helmet this time.

They’re not the only musicians out there speaking love and sanity (and playing music) into the strange digital interzone filled with hate and disinformation where we’ve all been forced to gather while locked down, but they were and the most consistent and steady signal being emitted each week. No matter how tired I was from work or what new symptoms I’d developed or what horrific thing I read into the news, even if I had to take an emergency nap while it was actually airing, every Friday the show was there. Once things do return to something more like normal, it’s one of the few things I’ll unambiguously miss about this weird-ass year.

So if that makes an argument for Low as my band of the year (admittedly again… it’s not like Double Negative has aged poorly, either), that does a disservice to those 2020 records I did connect with; even if there are still literally dozens I have to go through, many of which I expect to love, my top picks this year (if as unrankable by me as always) hit me as hard as any top pick in recent years did. So here I present a quick and informal top 5, which the rest of my top 20 following in alphabetical order. Here’s hoping for more time and space in 2021 for music, and even more than that, for more support for those who need it from those who could have been providing it all this time. (The Matthew Good Band, incidentally, always did best with their ballads. “Strange Days” is another I’ve had in my head these days; the image of moving “backwards, into a wall of fire” has stuck with me since the 90s and it’s never felt more grimly appropriate.)

Greet Death — New Hell

New Hell by Greet Death

This one is, in some sense, cheating; it came out November 2019. But that just means it’s the latest winner of my personal Torres Prize for Ian Being Late to the Party (so named because becoming slightly obsessed with Torres’ Sprinter just after I sent in my 2015 list was the first time I noticed that one of my favorite records of each year tends to get picked up by me just after I call it quits on the year, no matter how long I try to wait). This very doom and gloom slowcore/metal/(whatever, just know it’s heavy) trio at first felt very much like my beloved Cloakroom (whose Time Well has also won a Torres Prize) but sure enough nuances revealed themselves. Back in February it felt almost a little too negative, but then the rest of 2020 happened. And the extended burns of “You’re Gonna Hate What You’ve Done” and the title track remain searing.

Holy Fuck — Deleter

Probably the record I’ve been trying to write about the longest in 2020, and the one I’m most disappointed in myself that I just couldn’t get the requisite paragraphs together. It’s a wonderful effort from the consistently great Toronto resolutely human-created (and —mediated) dance music quartet, one that both feels like a summation of everything they do well, and with the addition of some outside voices (including strong turns from the singers of both Hot Chip and Liars) a step forward at the same time.

Spanish Love Songs — Brave Faces Everyone

Brave Faces Everyone by Spanish Love Songs

As the year got worse, this roar of defiance only got more crucial for me to hear every so often; I was a big enough fan of it, even after writing it up for Dusted, that when they solicited fan footage for a subsequent music video you may just be able to get a glimpse of me in it. (I’m the one in a “No Tories” t-shirt.) My punk rock-loving twin brother was the one who introduced me to Spanish Love Songs and we were supposed to spend an evening in June screaming along to them live in a packed, sweaty room. I need that in my life again.

Julianna Barwick — Healing Is a Miracle

Healing Is A Miracle by Julianna Barwick

It’s a sign of what 2020 has been like here that even just this album title leaves bruises, and while I privately worried Barwick would have a hard time following up 2016’s sublime Will (probably my favorite record that year), it seems that continuing to take whatever downtime she needs to keep focusing and refining her particular muse has once again yielded amazing results. Anyone who thinks they know what a Barwick track sounds like should really check out, say, “Flowers”, but much of this record absolutely sounds like Barwick, just even better than before. She also boasted my wife and I's favorite streaming concert of 2020, an absolutely gorgeous rendition of this album with Mary Lattimore showing up.

Phoebe Bridgers — Punisher

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers

I joked on Twitter recently that I have far too nice a dad (and far too good a relationship with him) to be as obsessed as I am with Phoebe Bridgers’ “Kyoto”, but here we are. Like most of her generation, Bridgers’ social media presence ranges from shit-posting to inscrutable, but even though things are often just as hard to figure out in her beautiful songs (as they often are in life), there’s an emotional clarity to them that can just grab you deep down. Couple that with seriously impressive songcraft and the progress from her already astounding debut Stranger in the Alps and more than anyone else in 2020 I’m excited to see just where the hell Phoebe Bridgers is going to go, because it feels like she’s talented and hardworking enough to go just about anywhere and drag a lot of our hearts with her.

Other Favorites

Aidan Baker & Gareth Davis — Invisible Cities II

Anastasia Minster — Father

Deftones — Ohms

Hum — Inlet

Kelly Lee Owens — Inner Song

Mesarthim — The Degenerate Era

Perfume Genius — Set My Heart On Fire Immediately

Protomartyr — Ultimate Success Today

Rachel Kiel — Dream Logic

The Ridiculous Trio — The Ridiculous Trio Plays the Stooges

Sam Amidon — Sam Amidon

Shabason, Krgovich & Harris — Philadelphia

Stars Like Fleas — DWARS Session: Live on Radio VPRO

Well Yells — We Mirror the Dead

Yves Tumour — Heaven to a Tortured Mind

Five Reissues/Compilations/etc.

Aix Em Klemm — Aix Em Klemm

Bardo Pond — Adrop/Circuit VIII

Charles Curtis — Performances & Recordings 1998-2018

Coil — Musick to Play in the Dark

Hot Chip — LateNightTales

Ian Mathers

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

The Intern | Part Six

Summary: You move to New York to focus on your art but end up working as an intern at Stark Enterprises

Chapter Summary: time to meet the Avengers

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader, Peter Parker x Reader (friendship)

Word Count: 2880

A/N: for the purposes of this story Stark Enterprise is set out like an office building in New York and the story does not follow the same timeline as the movies. Reader has just found out Peter is Spiderman. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part Five | Masterlist

- - - - - 

You wake up on a hospital bed in a medical lab. Your eyes flutter open and you look around, taking in your surroundings. There’s some sort of medical monitor attached to your finger and some pads stuck to your chest with wires that lead to a machine which is bleeping in sync with your heart rate. You sit up slowly, looking around you for some idea of where you are. There’s a man sitting at a desk with his back to you, studying something through a microscope. He hasn’t noticed that you’re awake.

“Where am I?” You ask quietly and the man jumps up from his chair to look at you, knocking something over on the desk as he does. 

“Somewhere safe” he replies nervously, holding his hands up to show he’s not a threat “FRIDAY? Could you Tony she’s awake please?” 

You look at him confused. 

“Already alerted him, he’s on his way��� a voice replies from somewhere, you look around trying to figure out where. Tony comes running into the room, sees you and looks relieved. He comes up close to you and takes your hand in his.

“y/n, you’re okay!” You can hear the relief in his voice. 

“What happened to me? It felt like my body was on fire...” you trail off reliving the pain in your memory.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out” says the man who had finished picking up the bits he’d knocked over and was now walking over to you and Tony. He handed Tony some papers but you can't see what is on them. 

“y/n, this is Dr Bruce Banner. He’s helping me work out exactly what was injected into you last night and what affect it has had in your body.” Tony explains, looking at the papers and handing them back to the man. 

“We already know it has caused you to heal quicker-“ Dr Banner says causally, as he’s removing the medical monitors that are attached to you. 

“What?” You interrupt him, you need more explanation than that.

“When I found you, you were covered in cuts and bruises from fighting. But now...” Tony lifts up your arm to show you it’s now completely bare from any marks. Even the cut on your hand you’d accidentally got a few days ago while cooking is suddenly gone. You stare at the place where it was in disbelief. 

“Who were they? Why would they do this to me?” You shake your head. 

“They were working for Professor Randall” Tony says and your eyes shoot up to to him. “He’s been developing a serum that could create advanced humans. Superheroes. That’s why he’s been harassing me, ever since the Avengers first assembled he believed he could help me make more. But I wanted no part in it. I told him, we don’t get to decide these things. We don’t get to play God!” He shouts as he turns away and runs his hand through his hair. He looks back at you with a sadness in his eyes. “That’s why he’s been following you. He wanted to prove to me that he could turn someone normal into...” he trails off, taking a deep breath to calm down.

“A superhero” you finish his sentence and he nods. You take a shaky breath. “Why me?”

“Because you’re the one who chased him, back at the office. When you did that you caught his attention. Thats when he chose you.”

Then you realise. He’d been planning this for weeks, watching you and planning to experiment on you. You’re just a guinea pig to him. Then you realise something else and your eyes fill up with tears. 

“That’s why you promoted me? You were keeping me close?” 

Dr Banner looks awkward and decides to quietly leave the room to give you both some space.

Tony drops his head sadly, looking at the floor for a moment before looking back at you. 

“Yes” 

You squeeze your eyes shut as a tear rolls down your cheek.

“That was part of the reason, but y/n everything else I said to you that day was true. I have never met anyone like you, and you have proved to everyone that that job was supposed to be yours.”

You open your eyes to look at him. 

“And the kiss?” You almost whisper.

“100% real” he puts his hands on your cheeks, looking deep into your eyes. “Y/N, it was all real” 

You take a deep breath. There’s a lot to process right now, you need some time to think. 

“So what happens now?” You ask.

“Dr Banner still has some tests to run. We found the needle and thankfully they didn’t inject the whole amount into you so we have plenty to study. And whatever effects this stuff has had should be less powerful without the full dose. In the mean time, you’ll stay here at the Avengers compound. It’s the safest place for you right now.” 

You nod at him. 

“I’ve had a room prepared for you. I’ll take you there now and you can have some time to relax before dinner.” 

He gives you his hand to help you down from the bed you’ve been sitting on and walks you out the door, down the corridor and into a lift. You travel up a few floors before the doors open and your lead to your room. He opens the door for you and you both step inside. 

It’s a nice room. Plain basic decor, but there’s a big window with views across the training fields outside. You sit down on the double bed and Tony stays stood at the door. 

“There’s clothes in the closet if you want to change. If you need me or anything at all just ask FRIDAY” 

You stare at him blankly and he realises you don’t know what he’s talking about. He explains what FRIDAY is and what to do and you silently nod at him. 

“I’ll come and get you when dinner is ready” He says smiling sadly at you. You can see he feels guilty and upset so you give him a small reassuring smile back. As he’s shutting the door you hear Peter running down the corridor. 

“Mr Stark! Is she okay? Can I see her?” He’s shouting. 

“She’s okay, but she needs to rest”

“No! let him in” you say jumping up off the bed and Tony looks to you raising an eyebrow. “I want to see him”

Tony opens the door wider and Peter awkwardly steps in, looking sheepishly at you. 

“Don’t stress her out” Tony warns Peter before looking at you “don’t let him stress you out” he says then leaves, shutting the door behind him. Peter stays stood looking at you until you gesture for him to take a seat. He walks over to sit on the chair that is in front of the window, facing the bed. You sit back on the bed with your legs crossed. You can tell he feels awkward and doesn’t really know how to have this conversation with you. You decide to make the first move. 

“So, you’re Spider-Man?” 

“I am so sorry I didn’t tell you y/n. I really wanted to but I just didn’t know how to say it or how you’d react and I guess I was scared that you wouldn’t want to be my friend...” he stops rambling and looks down sadly at the floor “But I understand if you don’t want to be my friend now anyway”

“Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend?” You say smiling at him “what, because you’re a superhero?” you laugh “Peter this changes absolutely nothing, other than the fact that I know now you’re a total badass!”

Peter looks relieved “you’re not mad?” He sounds surprised 

“Of course not, no, I get why you’d want keep this a secret. You deserve to be able to live a normal life when you’re not in the suit. Plus you saved me from those guys last night.”

“Not quick enough, they still got to you” he shakes his head 

“Yes but you stopped them, that’s the important thing. Who knows what would have happened to me if they had given me the whole dose!” You stop suddenly as a thought comes into your head “hey, how did you even know I was in trouble?” You ask. 

“After that guy approached you in the coffee shop, Mr Stark asked me to keep an eye on your place whenever I could. I’ve been swinging by to check up on you every night since then”

“You’ve been watching my house? All night?” You ask in disbelief.

“Only before Mr Stark made that watch alarm for you. After that he said I didn’t have to anymore, but I still did. Not all night, just occasionally checked you were safe” he looks awkward, like he thinks you’re going to see this as some sort of invasion of privacy. Instead you stand up off the bed and go over to him, throwing your arms around him in a hug.

“thank you” you whisper.

“Just doing my duty as the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man” he says, you release him and sit back on the end of the bed. 

“So, tell me everything... how did it go with MJ at the ball?” You ask, deciding to change the subjects and Peter instantly blushes. 

— — — —

You spend the next half an hour chatting normally with your best friend as if nothing weird had happened lately until FRIDAY interrupts and tells you Tony has instructed Peter to let you rest. You roll your eyes as Peter follows orders and leaves you alone. You spend some time looking out of the window at the scenery, wishing you had your sketchbook so you could draw. After a while you start to feel tired and decide to lie down on your bed. You must have drifted off because when Tony knocks the door you jump awake. He tells you it’s time for dinner and you follow him down to the main living area where some of the Avengers are sitting waiting. 

Captain Rogers stands up as you enter, pulling out a chair for you to sit at the dining table. You thank him and he sits back in his seat opposite you. Tony takes the seat next to you and you look around the room at the other people sitting at the large dining table. You make eye contact with a woman dressed all in black and she smiles at you. 

“Dinner is served” come a posh British voice and you see a red man come walking over followed by another woman who you recognise off the news as the Scarlet Witch. Both are carrying trays of food which they place down on the table. 

“Help yourselves” the red man says. 

“Where’s Bruce?” Tony asks looking around “FRIDAY please tell Dr Banner-“ he interrupted as Bruce comes running in.

“Sorry, sorry! I was working” he says taking a seat next to Tony. “I need to talk to you” you hear him say to Tony and the two of them quietly talk to each other. You cant hear what they are saying but it sounds serious. 

“Don’t be shy, we’re all friendly” Steve says, handing you a plate of food. 

“Yeah you gotta be quick when the food comes out or these walking trash cans will eat it all” the woman who smiled at you earlier says, pointing at two other men sat further down the table. 

“Rude” says one man with a smirk.

“We came all this way for a family meeting and this is how you treat us” says the other. The woman winks at him. “Speaking of, why did you call us all here?” He asks directed at Tony, stands up. 

“Right. As you can see, we have a new face with us. This is y/n” he puts his hand on your shoulder “y/n this is Vision, Wanda, Sam, Clint, Natasha, and of course you’ve met Bruce and Captain Rogers” 

You nod and give them all a smile

“Y/N has been working with me at Stark Enterprise and she is wonderful, you're gonna love her. But right now she needs somewhere safe, that’s where you all come in. Some of you may remember Professor Randall. Unfortunately he has decided y/n would be the perfect subject to test his serum on and last night he sent men to break into her apartment. Peter was able to stop them before they did too much damage, but the men got away. It’s our job now to stop them and the Professor from getting to y/n or anyone else.”

“You will be safe here y/n, you’re part of our family now” Steve says and there are mumbled of agreement from around the table. You smile shyly at everyone. 

“I’ll speak to you individually about specific tasks but for now, let’s eat and welcome y/n to the family!” 

You all tuck in to the food cooked by Vision and Wanda, and the group tell you stories about things they’ve gotten up to in the past. Steve explains to you about how he and Peter first met. About how he’d stolen Captain America’s shield and you can’t believe they’re talking about the same Peter who was so afraid to speak to a MJ. 

“Hey where is the kid? Shouldn’t he be here?” Steve asks.

“He had to head home to his aunt, she doesn’t know about the whole Spider-Man thing” Tony explains.

You don’t know how Peter has managed to keep such a massive secret from everyone, especially his Aunt May! You feel sad for him having to tell so many lies but you completely understand why he does. 

— — — —

After dinner the group splits off to do their own things and one by one you see Tony go round speaking to them. You’re in the kitchen washing dishes when Natasha joins you, picking up a towel to dry the dishes. 

“This all must be really weird for you right” she says smiling at you.

“Just a bit” you smile back.

“How are you doing? Honestly.” She asks.

“Honestly?” You pause “I’m terrified. This guy was following me for weeks, planning to use me as his guinea pig. And I had no idea. When I think about what could have happened if Peter hadn’t arrived when he did, or if they had over powered him..” 

“You have to let go of the ‘what ifs’” Natasha says “if you spend your life focusing on what could happen, you’ll get so paralysed by fear that never do anything. That’s no life.” 

“Glad to see you two are getting to know each other” Tony says coming over to stand on the other side of you. “Romanoff, I have a job for you.”

“There’s a surprise” she responds sarcastically, smirking at you 

“You’re going to be training y/n, every day. Teach her to fight and most importantly to defend herself. We need to be prepared for all circumstances”

Natasha nods. Tony picks up a dirty plate.

“you know we have a dishwasher right?” He says and you sigh, flicking water at him. Natasha bursts out laughing. Tony gives her a look and she nods before walking off to join Clint on the sofa. 

“Come with me” he says taking your hand. He leads you out onto a balcony away from everyone else. You look up at the sky, you can see how full of stars it is now you’re not in the city. It’s beautiful. 

“I have something for you” he hands you a bag, which you open and immediately recognise the item inside. 

“My sketchbook!” You gasp in delight “how did you-?”

“I went back to your apartment this afternoon to see if I could find anything about the men who broke in, and I found that under the sofa. Don’t worry, I didn’t show Steve what’s inside.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head, laughing.

“Are you ever going to stop teasing me about that?”

“I’ll think about it” he laughs, “maybe if you put my face in that book of yours..?” 

You stare up at him, studying his face. 

“I don’t think I could” 

Tony looks confused. 

“See I draw Steve’s face because it’s basically perfect” 

“Oh thanks” Tony interrupts, sarcastically offended.

“No, I mean because that makes it easy to capture him. But you...” You put your hand on his cheek, staring into his eyes “There’s something about your face, I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

“im old” Tony jokes.

“no! Theres a look in your eyes, I don’t know if I could get it right.”

He smiles slightly and you lean in and kiss him softly. 

When you pull away Tony smirks at you. 

“So what you’re saying is my face is too beautiful?” He jokingly asks and you laugh, using your sketchbook to hit him on the arm. 

“Ow! Hey save that for your training with Nat tomorrow. Speaking of, you better get yourself to bed, she likes to train early.” Tony says, walking with you back inside the building. You nod. 

“Thanks Tony. For everything, not just the sketchbook.”

“Goodnight y/n” 

He watches as you start walking down a corridor. 

“You’re going the wrong way” he shouts and you turn around, walking the other way.

“I’m new here! Give me a break!” 

Part Seven

Taglist: @brownbuble, @star-trek-is-my-lifesource, @shookie-shookie​, @thebuckysoldier​, @chai--chae​

[tomsrebeleyebrow]

heavenly yours (part 2/3) | th x fem!reader

Heavenly Yours – a chaotic series

PART 1  |  PART 2  |  PART 3  |  epilogue

Summary: A few years passed since Tom’s exile happened. (Y/N) lost every single sparks of joy and desire to live after assisting to the tragic fall of the on the one she secretly loved. Nevertheless she continues doing as if nothing happened and mostly to stay safe from the Superior Angels. But strangely, deep inside her heart, she could still… feel him… sense him? But why? And how? Until all her questions were answered the day a devilish stranger appeared right in front of her the evening she wanted to disappear forever.

Pairing: Demon!Harrison x Angel!Fem!Reader (enemies to friends relationship)

Warnings: major angst with dark thoughts (depression, mention of suicide), natural nudity (you don’t shower dressed up right?) and a little bit of cocky/dickish Harrison so beware!

Words count: 7643 (jesus)

A/N: first of all, I wanted to wish you guys a late Merry Christmas and a late Happy New Year 2020!! 🎄🎉 I’ve been busy because I’m still in Australia at the moment for vacation but I still manage to find some time to write this part little by little 😅 I hope you will like it as much as I loved writing it, and I’m so glad for all the positive comments I received for the first part… I’m still open to constructive criticism so!! So enjoy this loooooong new part!! 😂💖

masterlist | series masterlist

long italic paragraph is a flashback

A void.

An entire existence thrown into a black hole.

(Y/N) slowly wakes up from another fitful night, her tired eyes getting used to the rays of lights going through her window, her body curled into a ball on her soft but cold silk bed sheets.

Another day...

She finally rises her upper body and sits while letting a sigh out her lips, making the white sheet cascade and fall on her bare thighs. Her wings still shrivel on her back and her eyes, once bright and sparkling, look in front of her into nothing. Deep into emptiness. This emptiness she feels since that night from… a long time ago.

“Today has been… six years, maybe?”

How could she forget the night her lover sacrificed himself because his only wish was to prove and show all Kingdom of Heaven that two angels could love each other? Love. A bannish word up here. Something forbidden because associated with the Underworld of Hell. Hell… The place Tom fell into while protecting her.

That damned night…

After the horrific scene she had to watch against her own will, (Y/N) flies back to her house as fast as she can, hoping to arrive soon. When she lands again on the ground in front of her door, she leans against it because she couldn’t trust her own legs, shaking of fear and distress. Her breathing is louder and her eyes now red because of her constant crying, puffy and still wet with tears.The sobs don’t stop… don’t want to stop. The still vivid image of Tom falling into the open crack beneath him, weak and hurt, keeps playing in (Y/N)’s mind and it only makes her cry even harder. Trying to compose herself the best she could, a sudden thought crosses her mind: the Superior Angels could arrive here at any moment now.

Her entire body spins toward Tom’s house and not even thinking twice, she sprints inside it and closes the door behind her. She has been here a few times already and nothing has changed since the last time. A perfect copy of her own house - and as all the other angels -, with the same fournitures, the same colours and the same… now awful ambiance. Her lips tremble while looking at all this, thinking about all the beautiful memories she shared with Tom; him going to the kitchen to prepare them a meal, him bringing her tea and sitting on the living room couch next to each other, both of them kissing passionately at the front door before leaving, and so much more.

“I love you so much, princess” he would whisper in her ears while nobody was aware of it.

“You are the Sun that gave me life for a second time.”

“I will never leave you, you know that, right love?”

“We will make it work, I promise you angel face.”

All these precious moments they shared and now thinking that he will never be back here, where he used to belong. By her side. (Y/N) hurries and gathers anything she could; decorative pillows, sheets, fluffy covers, tones of his shirts, the usual mug he likes- liked to drink tea in, his cologne and other little objects that reminds her of him. When she is finally ready to leave with her arms full, she stops next to his bed again and sees a flower crown hanging up the bed frame. The one she made and offered him a few weeks ago. The flowers seem fresh as if they were picked today because nothing really aged up in Heaven. Looking at the crown neatly arranged, (Y/N) couldn’t stop herself from touching the petals, delicately, and think about Tom having it on his head while smiling at her. Another tear slips away from her eyes as she blinks.

She will never see his angel face ever again.

Putting all the items on his bed, she hesitates a second but still grabs the flower crown to put it on her own head. Her heart skips a beat. She then gathers everything back in her arms and finally leaves the house of her lover for good, and goes straight to her own.

Feeling safe she hopes so, (Y/N) tries to organise what she brought back while memories from each object she touches keeps flowing her gloomy mind. She changed her sheets to replace them with Tom’s one, then puts some pillows on her couch and the other on her bed to create a safe space. She puts the shirts of the male angel in her drawer, next to her own clothes. And finally the flower crown is now placed on her coffee table with a round candlestick in the middle, a scented candle ready to get lighted up. Another sigh leaves her lips, feeling kind of satisfied with what she did and also a little calmed down. But she knows that all this could never bring her lover back. But she couldn’t bare to forget him.

Tugging the curtain to block the view from the street, (Y/N) walks to her bathroom for a well deserved shower. She removes her long dress and sandals on her way there, without a single care, then her lace panties and takes a look at herself in the mirror on top of the porcelain sink. Her face is such a mess, and every single part of it is red; her swollen eyes, her cheeks and her nose, and her lips puffy from her stressful bites. Leaning above the sink both hands grabbing each side of it, she lets her head fall for a moment, her hair hiding her tired face. When she calms herself from what happened tonight, she walks into the shower and lets the warm water loosen up her sore muscles. After some excessive time she steps out of the bathroom, letting the fog escape, and slips on one of Tom’s shirts. (Y/N) touches the some material with the tip of her finger, sensing the soft and fresh cotton covering her skin, like he is right here holding her body against his. She buttons it up and throw herself on her bed and wraps all the new covers and sheets around her.

Silence.

No sound coming out from the street, nor from Tom’s house. A silent cry still makes its way out her lips so she edges closer and closer into the fortress of her bed, surrounded by multiples pillows. Everything smells like him. But everything feels so cold and empty.

But she has to stay strong. For him.

She promised him, and she will make sure to keep her promise and so until the very end.

The day after, she tried to act as nothing was wrong and strangely, but mostly to her biggest astonishment, everything was the same. To everyone. (Y/N) passed the day doing what she had to do and every angel acted like Tom… never existed. They were all smiling to her, talking to her like every day, but never saying his name a single time. Deep inside, her guts were burning with rage?  because of this, because everyone loved Tom, everyone trusted him to anything. And now, it was like he was never there, neither that fateful day when her human’s life stopped, standing together in front of the Heaven’s gates and meeting for the first time. Did they really forget, or someone made them forget?... But she kept going, she had to. Or Tom’s sacrifice would be vain. She was literally boiling, and nobody suspected that.

But the thing that bothered her in all that situation was that… she could still “feel” Tom - if that was the right word. Even her couldn’t explain that weird feeling that upset her inside.

* * * *

“Come on, (Y/N).”

Since that night, nothing really changed for (Y/N). Well, she didn’t really have a choice anyway. She takes a big breath in and finally turns all her body to the side of the bed. Bare legs hanging, her toes brushing the marble floor of her too perfect angel’s bedroom. Finally standing up, she stretches out her body parts to finish with her wings, the shirt she wears lifting to let her panties visible in the process. As she takes the pillows spreaded on the floor to arrange them again onto her bed, the young woman proceeds to start her morning routine - which basically consists in taking a shower, brushing and styling her hair, dressing up, having a little breakfast and going out - and without forgetting the most important since then: displaying the most faked smile she could have.

Always the same. Day after day.

What (Y/N) always finds funny in all her “comedy” - like she is used to call it by now - is that no one could see clear into it. Just thinking that their “adorable and perfect Angel (Y/N) is the happiest and caring angel of all Kingdom of Heaven, loyal and gorgeous and that she will always be the same and never change”... even though she assisted to the most traumatizing experience any angel could be aware of which definitely changed the idyllic vision she had of Heaven all along and that, in fact, awakened her from this dull utopia and set free all her past human emotions from a previous life. Yes, that’s pretty much it.

How funny is that.

At least she isn’t drawing any attention which is what matters the most.

* * * *

“Finally the end of the day!” (Y/N) sighs exhausted.

She had quite a busy day indeed. The young woman was assigned to manage the novice’s flying course of the day. Even with already knowing some of the little ones, having in charge a group of about fifteen young angels to teach them how to fly was so much work and a lot of patience.

All alone now, (Y/N) is walking to a secluded part of the Kingdom where nobody goes to when the Sun starts to fall, to then let the Moon be the new star of the Holy Sky. After some minutes, she arrives to that place she casually calls her secret garden. In fact it is in a garden but just a part of it, in a peaceful corner. Further back of the usual animated main place and hidden between sequoias and pine trees, (Y/N)’s secret garden is composed of a beautiful marble fountain aesthetically put surrounded by light stone benches and flowers in different vases. The sound of the running water fills the silence of the upcoming night. This place brings some joy back to the angel’s heart because this is where she likes coming to clear up her mind, and just admire the view. Speaking of which, it is the best place to watch the sunset. At the edge of the garden a blanket of clouds is spread to an infinite horizon, tinting it with a mix of gold, orange and red at this time of the day. Tranquility and quietness. Just what she needs. (Y/N) enters the spot and moves to sit on the bench right in front of this marvelous scenery. Some doves fly through the clouds and spin around to then land near the woman. One lands directly on (Y/N)’s knees and coos at her, making a soft giggle leave her lips. She takes the dove delicately between her hands, pet its immaculate feathers before giving it a peck on top of the head.

“You are such a lucky one, you can fly wherever you want and do whatever you want…”

The dove lets itself being petted by the female angel - not like its really minds - while the Sun keeps disappearing.

“Not like me…” comes out of (Y/N)’s mouth like a whisper.

Her brows bump together in a scowl, biting the inside of her cheek to prevent the tears to start forming. Another sunset. Alone. By herself. Prisoner in an ivory tower full of naivety that she wishes she could escape. But how? Could this be even possible? The young woman stands, keeping the dove safe with her, and starts to walk slowly to the edge of the garden. Here she is on her feet, facing the last rays of sunshine and this unknown world beneath the clouds. A nice breeze brushes her body making her hair and long silk dress dance in rhythm. At this feeling, her wings dare to spread out a little because the wind caressing their insides is so calming.

“Do you know what is under the clouds, little dove? I keep asking myself this since he…” She couldn’t finish her sentence, still looking in front of her.

There were some days she was determined to do anything to keep her mind busy, but other times she couldn’t even find any motivation to wake up. (Y/N) has thought more than once about leaving. Disappearing. Dying. Sometimes her surrounding was too suffocating, her head hurting at any sound, the air hardly making its way in her lungs, her heart being like crushed between her ribs, her stomach clenching even if empty, her legs too weak to keep her up. Everything hurt. It didn’t want to stop. Those days were the worst.

And so the woman keeps wondering each time she comes here what the clouds could possibly hide. Something good? Something bad? Something new? Something dreadful? Could a better world wait for her down there? Could… Tom be down there, waiting for her this all time to tell her that, in the end, everything was fine? And as it says that curiosity almost killed the cat, (Y/N) wanted to jump from the cliff to end this and know the truth. Maybe she will be finally set free and feel no more anger, no more rage, no more sadness and no more loneliness. Her love for Tom is still here, burning in her and engraved in her heart. But this love is lacking of… mutual love.  And alas with the every last ounce of strength she has, she resists. Because Tom wouldn’t like letting his sacrifice be pointless. He wanted her to keep living her life and be happy. But how could she possibly be happy without having her lover by her side anymore? In the end (Y/N) doesn’t know what to do. But her whole body keeps hurting. So bad.

After interrupting her sour thoughts, the angel releases the little dove from her grip and lets it fly away. She doesn’t notice the warm tears on her cheeks yet, preferring to ignore them. Then she collapses on her knees as her body has to save the last sparks of energy to go back home later. She feels drained to the cord. Helpless. And still alone.

“Oh Tom… I can’t anymore… This is too much…” Her sobs starts echoing in her head. “This is too hard for me, I can’t… handle it anymore… I need you… So much…”

And her hands raise to hide her pitiful face in tears. Shoulders shaking like a leaf she feels as fragile as a porcelain doll, abandoned and so broken.

Today was definitely a ‘no’ day.

‘ What a poor little thing. ‘

(Y/N) jumps while letting out a squeal. Who could be here at this hour? Her head frantically analyses around her to see who the person observing her is. But nothing. Not a single presence. No one, not even a shadow.

“Who is here?!”

‘ You may not get too agitated, Angel or you will really end up falling from that cliff. ‘

The voice again. But still not the body associated with.

(Y/N) quickly stands up but not without staggering while doing so. She then distances herself from the edge of the cliff, panic still showing on her face and turns to the big trees surrounding the garden. Still nothing. Not knowing if she is in danger, the young woman still decides to open her angel wings wildly, ready to fly away at any moment.

“Show yourself! Now!” screams (Y/N), her voice ringing in the newly night.

‘ Don’t be so aggressive, it doesn’t match with your angelic face. ‘ the unknown voice replies with a snigger, ‘ ...Also I’m already here, angel face. ‘

Feeling a breath next to her ear, (Y/N) flings herself forward, next to the fountain. When she turns again in the direction of the voice, wings still on display, she can finally see who was tricking her this whole time but never did she imagine having a meeting like this. And this totally terrifies her.

A few feet away from her stands a young man. Maybe two heads taller than her. Blond messy hair, a bit brunette actually. Deep blue eyes as clear as the water of Heaven… but enormous black wings on his back slightly hitting the air, almost featherless and mostly skin showing. Dressed all in black, a thin shirt entirely open - and that (Y/N) tries not to look at because… just because you’re not suppose to do that? -, darted pants close to the muscles of his legs and waxed moccasins.

This man is a demon.

Demons. The nastiest, hazardous and menacing creatures that exist in the afterlife. The ones who have sinned while being humans, and that now pay for all of it by getting punished or by leaving another sinful life in the Underworld of Hell… Hell. The worst place that could ever exist. Where the lowest of the lowest are down here for eternity. Where the entire land is on fire, with not fresh but dry and smoky air which literally burns your lungs. Where nature has not its place. Where debauchery is the only way of living.

What in the world…!!

(Y/N)’s body couldn’t move. Scared. Frighten. Petrified. Her face becomes as pale as her wings, out of breath but heart almost bursting through her chest. Her legs don’t dare to move like sticked to the ground. All the hair of her body raises. Everything seems to get so much colder and morbid just by his own presence. Never (Y/N) would have imagined in her angel life being confronted to a real demon, she doesn’t even know this would have been possible!

Anyway, the devil man in front of her stays still and straight while fixing at her. An intense look that may be a mix of malice and vileness. A devious aura. Not a word is said between the two opposite beings. The only sound around may be the breeze that seems way colder that it originally was when the angel arrived here. Her wings start to curl up around her fragile body, even if she keeps trying to show some strength. (Y/N) wishes now she was not alone at this moment because she never heard or read about demons ascending to Heaven for any possible reason, and without being noticed by the Superior Angels. What was he doing here? And why?

‘ Such a pretty face, he definitely was right about it. ‘ said the devil man with a slight smirk showing on his face.

He takes a step to her. And (Y/N) takes a step back straight away.

“Don’t you dare come any closer” she threatens him between her teeth, “and how dare you come in Heaven?!”

‘ Well it’s not like I wanted to fly over here in the first place anyway ‘ the man says like he is pissed off, ‘ Not my kind of place if you know what I mean… ‘

“Then you better leave before you get in big trouble” she mocks him still going backwards.

Unfortunately the young woman couldn’t back up anymore because a tree blocks her way and now with her back pressed against it, she knows things would get harder.

‘ I didn’t know angels could retort with such anger, it clearly doesn’t match your character ‘ the demon adds, approaching (Y/N) bits by bits, ‘ But I guess he was right once again about it...‘

“What in the world are you talking about?! And who is “he”?!”

All this has no sense. And irritation is winning over (Y/N)’s fear.

‘ No need to rush things for now, angel face. ‘

In a snap, the devil man finds his way close to (Y/N) again, his body almost pressed against hers. She lets a short shriek out and tries to distance herself as much as she could, as if she tries to become as thin as a leaf to disappear at this exact moment. Her back pressed even harder on the tree trunk, the female angels tries to avoid his eyes and even to sneak past him. But his morbid black wings are in the way, fully stretched like they would engulf her small  body. The angel makes her best to avoid meeting his eyes and avert them by shutting them tightly. Her heart beats even faster now and her hands start being moist, like her forehead. Is this the end?

‘ Hey come on, look at me ‘ says the man without sounding too bossy, ‘ ... Please? ‘

This sounds like a plead. And strangely (Y/N)’s heart tightens at the sound of his voice. Could a demon ever sound this pitiful, even in front of an angel? Not sure of herself - because a demon is and still will be a demon -, she dares to slowly open an eye to look at him and sees he hasn’t moved a single millimetre. Still standing tall, the man that once had cold eyes seems now more… calm and peaceful, almost harmless. With a closer look the intruder has a handsome face, with a sharp jawline and defined nose. His hair is in fact more brunette that it seems from far away, the blond slightly fading at the end of each lock. His blue ocean eyes are sharper they could freeze you on site, but long eyelashes are present to underline them and create a welcoming feeling. As she suspected before his wings are kind of featherless but the dark showing skin doesn’t look that hurt or rough, more like a second skin. And his body looks so firm she can totally could perceive his torso through the thin piece of black fabric that serves him of shirt. (Y/N) blushes at this proximity and looks away.

“What… do you want?” asks (Y/N) again, her voice wicker than before.

‘ I’m not here to hurt you so if you listen to me, I can tell you why I came up here. ‘

Again the soothing voice. This situation could end up in two differents ways: good or bad. No inbetween. (Y/N) learnt from the book she read that demons were never the bearer of good luck and could be the trickiest creature of all time. But her awareness is telling her a complete other story and she couldn’t guess why. She just feels it deep in her guts, as if it was a casual situation.

Finally the young woman dares to look at him in the eyes, again. And at this exact moment she sees his hand extend right to her face so she couldn’t help but flinch, thinking she got too naive by letting her guard down so quickly. But nothing happens. Indeed she feels a warm sensation on her cheek that then moves behind her ear. She gets even more surprised when, after opening her eyes, the demon is only caressing her cheek to replace her lock of hair behind her ear. She didn’t expect that. At all.

‘ I know since that day, everything changed for you so you will understand what I’m about to tell you ‘ begins the young demon, now curling another of her lock around his finger, ‘ So… care to listen? ‘

His hand leaves (Y/N)’s hair to stay along his body. But he proposes his hand to her to take, an invitation to join him. She thinks pretty fast because everything is getting messed up in her head - too many things happenings at the same time -, looking back and forth from his opened hand to his blue eyes. And she knows she has to listen to him. She feels it again.

So after taking a deep breath she carefully puts her hand in his, and the man closes it. Slowly and without breaking their gaze, they walk toward the fountain to sit on the side of it. The demon lets (Y/N)’s hand go and put his on his thighs. (Y/N) brushes her dress and copies the man’s position. A certain tension is obvious and could be cut with a knife. But still, the female angel doesn’t feel that much in danger anymore.

Silence. Just the sound of the water flowing in the fountain behind them, appeasing them. The night is now here, the sky fully dark. Tones of stars appear here and there and the nice breeze comes to cool down (Y/N)’s body. Her wings are not tensed anymore. But she still thinks about what the conversation will lead to.

‘ First of all, I’m Harrison. And I’m sorry for scaring you earlier, my devil side can be really douchey some time ‘ the demon, Harrison, introduces himself while rubbing the back of his neck.

“Nice to meet you, Harrison… I guess?”

Such a casual conversation between complete opposite beings…

“And I-”

‘ (Y/N). You are (Y/N) ‘ cuts off Harrison. ‘ I know who you are already… Because I am here for you. ‘

“W-what do you mean... here for me?”

‘ Do not panic please, I know this sounds weird coming from a demon- ‘

“Oooh it sure is weird” (Y/N) cuts him off in return, letting out a nervous laugh while she fidgets with her fingers. And Harrison actually laughs at that too.

‘ Yeah sorry, this situation is awkward for both of us… But this is also really important. ‘

Harrison has again the same face as his arrival in Heaven. Sharp and serious. (Y/N) gulps silently and strengthens her back, ready to listen to him. After a few seconds, the demon begins to speak again.

‘ I know that you are different from the other angels here. You can feel varied types of emotions and not only happiness anymore. Anger, sadness, rage, sorrow, fear and so much more. ‘

(Y/N)’s heart misses a beat at his word.

‘ And surprise too ‘ slightly laughs Harrison looking at her, in fact, surprised expression.

“H-how do you know that? I mean-”

‘ I also know that you were in love, maybe still in love actually. And since the day you lost your other half, everything changed even more for you, mostly your way of thinking, am I right? ‘

(Y/N) couldn’t believe it. It is like she is an actual open book to him and it’s been like, what, maybe not even fifteen minutes and he knew her deepest secrets. It scares her. And she couldn’t form a simple sentence. So the angel simply nods.

“How in the world do you know… all that?...”

Her throat feels dry.

‘ (Y/N), I know who you lost that night. ‘

“Wait what-”

‘ Tom. The fallen angel. ‘

At the sound of his name she couldn’t prevent the sob that leaves her mouth. And some puzzle pieces start to get assembled.

“I-is Tom i-in H-?!...”

Not waiting for the end of her question, Harrison nods keeping his gaze. She puts her hand on her mouth to contain herself as best as she could, but the feeling is too strong.

Tom. The fallen angel.

(Y/N) now has the confirmation that Tom fell in Hell that damned night. She squeezes her dress in her fist and shuts her eyes. The simple thought of her dear lover being in Hell for so long saddens her the more she thinks about it. What have them done to him down there? Was he alright? Or was he… hurt? Tortured? Or even worse… She doesn’t want to think about it and so she tries to erase this horrific image from her mind.

‘ Tom the fallen angel, your lover, is in fact in the Underworld of Hell. But still alive. ‘

Alive.

Tom is still alive. In Hell, yes, but alive.

(Y/N) couldn’t believe what she heard. A sob finally breaks through the barrier of her hand and that’s when (Y/N) feels the weight of the world leave her shoulders for good. All this time, all these lonely days and nights, dwelling on this fatale night when she lost the most precious person she could have find in afterlife, and constantly blaming herself because she was still here, alive, and not him. But now everything changed and this self torture is over.

Her tears are not tears of sadness anymore, but tears of relief and hope. A smile even finds its place on the angel’s face. A real smile, warm and beautiful, like she used to show before it all declined. A smile that the male demon notices too, it even brings a shy one on his own face. Her once broken heart is now collecting each piece to gather them back together. And the woman understands why she could feel this weird feeling all this time. Because without really knowing it, she knew Tom, her dear Tom, was still alive.

“Oh my God… I-I’m so h-happy…” cries (Y/N), wiping some tears with her arms. “But i-is Tom… a-alright?”

Asking this question almost scares her. She doesn’t know what to expect.

‘ Don’t worry, Tom is totally fine. ‘ begins Harrison to soothe her a little. ‘ Not gonna lie, it was not easy for him when he was thrown to Hell but yeah, he kinda managed. This man’s got a tower of strength. ‘

The devil man prefers to avoid all the details of Tom’s arrival in Hell, to prevent her any more pain. In fact Harrison “met” the fallen angel since the first day and had to assist to each punishments and tortures he had to go through. At the time Harrison was passive and amused by the show because, well he is a demon after all, and these things were totally normal in Hell. But as time passed, Harrison started to admire Tom’s strength as much as physical and mental, not letting himself perish under the steady punches and cuts from the perfidious devils down there.

“Yes, he always was determined in anything he was doing” smiles (Y/N) to herself.

She then turns toward Harrison who is still looking at her.

“Excuse my rudeness, I’m so glad you told me Tom is safe and all but… is this the only reason you flew in Heaven? Just to… tell me this?”

(Y/N) couldn’t stop herself about all this. This looks too good to be true in a way and having a demon telling you all this is surely bizarre.

Harrison laughs, ‘ Don’t worry, angel face, you have all rights to wonder about it. ‘

(Y/N) returns his laugh, giggling. Who could have thought about an angel and a demon casually chatting together?

‘ So yeah my main goal was to find you because I was asked to. By Tom himself. ‘

Her laughs just stop.

“Wait- are you telling me Tom is the one w-who sent you here?!” she nearly screams at the demon, shocked. “How is it even possible?!”

‘ Calm down (Y/N), I’m telling you the truth. Because if I don’t, I will get in biiiiiig trouble with the man himself ‘ jocks Harrison but still with a nervous smile just by the thought of it.

“B-but why only now? W-why after for long?! I was b-by myself all this time, thinking h-he was…!!”

Harrison knew since the beginning that there will be a lot of explanations to give. But it was his mission, and he will make sure to accomplish it.

‘ (Y/N), you know he couldn’t do anything else at the time, am I right? Tom was thrown into the deepest depths of Hell because he sinned - because he loves you - so he couldn’t just fly back here in Heaven like nothing happened. ‘

That is true. And (Y/N) suddenly feels silly about her last comment. She is aware of all this since that night but it is like she wanted to ignore it… for her sake of living alone. Harrison notices her head and shoulders lower.

‘ Hey, no need to feel down. It’s normal to be selfish sometimes… well, in Hell at least… ‘ notes Harrison, trying to cheer her up.

His black wing softly touches her white one as if to tell her everything is alright. (Y/N) doesn’t rejects his touch and looks back at him, waiting for what is coming next.

‘ The reason Tom waited so long before contacting you again is because he had to survive. He went through a lot, trust me I was there watching him but he never gave up. You were his strength. All along. And you still are. He kept repeating he had to endure his sentence for you, to keep you safe and to go back to you. ‘

(Y/N) lets her tears flow again, without making a sound. Her and Tom were trying their best to survive separated from each other, but he definitely has been the one in the worst situation.

‘ And so, days and years passed. But in the end he did it. Tom survived and proved to Hell he was worse it. Such a strong minded guy was just what Hell needed at the time, so they gave him another chance. ‘

“Another chance?” repeats (Y/N) not really understanding what the demon means.

‘ To make it simple, Tom is now a demon. ‘

The rollercoaster of (Y/N)’s emotions goes straight down again at this statement. Tom is now a demon. Her beautiful and handsome angel who sacrificed himself many years ago became a demon as a second chance in his afterlife. This was too much for her. The sadness is clear on her face, furrowing her eyebrows and tensed body again. She then remembers him before he fell down, his wings becoming greyish as the Superior Angels said. And now they must be fully black, like Harrison’s ones. Her angel lover was no more. Her tears don’t stop but emphasized more.

‘ Hey (Y/N), it’s alright, don’t cry anymore ‘ Harrison tries to calm her again.

He dares to sit closer to her, caressing her shoulder to sooth her a bit. Both their wings are now close to the other. A perfect opposition. White and Black. Pure and Dirty. But strangely the mix doesn’t really feel bad at all. And so instinctively (Y/N) snuggles into Harrison’s chest, frightening him at first, to find maybe some comfort. It is such an uncommon situation for Harrison that he doesn’t know how to react. So he simply wraps his arms and wings around her. They stay like this for a few minutes, her sobs resonating in the heavenly night. It is still hard for her to accept the fact that Tom is now a demon, even if still alive.

‘ Calm down, (Y/N)... ‘ whispers Harrison while he wants to pull away delicately. ‘ Let me finish explaining okay? Then if you want to cry again, it’s alright I will endure it a little more ‘ he tries to joke again.

(Y/N) slightly slaps his chest and pulls herself away from him. She has now a light smile on her face, with wet cheeks and puffy eyes again. She wipes her face with the back of her hand and wait for the demon to talk again.

‘ So ‘ Harrison starts again combing his hair back with his finger, ‘ Tom may be a demon now but he actually chose to become one. For his and your sake. ‘

“W-what?! But why-”

Harrison quickly presses his index finger on the angel’s mouth.

‘ Let me continue? ‘

(Y/N) just nods.

‘ So it was Tom’s decision to become a demon. And then he had to learn to be one, which actually was not difficult. ‘

“B-but demons are… d-devious… n-nasty… n-not to blame you or w-what but-” mumbles the young woman kinda scared to offend the demon.

‘ I know (Y/N), but we all are not only as the books of Heaven describe us. We may had sinned as humans but we are not beasts, well not ALL of us actually… ‘

That surprises (Y/N). “You mean-”

‘ Each demon has his own personality like when they were humans. We don’t only live on sex and torture all day long. ‘

(Y/N) tenses. She read a lot of books available in the Heaven’s library and all she read about demons were not… good things, mostly just unholy manners and all. And now the devil man in front of her tells her a completely different story - not like she really minded but still. It even reassures her a little.

‘ And Tom is definitely not a sinful demon. Just so you know he made me changed to be the respectable demon I am now and that is why I vowed to serve him until the end. ‘

“Excuse me what did you just say? You… serve him??”

Harrison takes a deep breath before continuing, ‘ As the time flew by, Tom became stronger and gain respect of all the other demons. He has been proclaimed King of Hell and rules the Underworld since then. ‘

“K-KING OF-?!”

The words suffocate (Y/N), she couldn’t speak anymore. King of Hell. Of all the thing she could have imagined, the angel now doesn’t know what to think about. But if what Harrison told her is true, Tom would be… a good demon? That in fact sounds really weird. Is that even possible? Does this even really exist? But she still trusts Tom, and still loves him. She feels so confused from all the informations, not knowing what to think about first.

‘ And he wants you to join him. Now. That is why I’m here for. ‘

“Me? Going to Hell?! W-wait Harrison, are you joking or what?!” retorts (Y/N) standing up, still facing him. “I just can’t leave Heaven like that and-!”

‘ You are not happy here, (Y/N), and even Tom knows it. ‘ interrupts Harrison staying calm. ‘ When you both discovered your feelings for each other, you both hid all the time. And since he was left for dead, you hid your new trueself to those Superior Angels as Tom wanted you to. You changed, you are not the same anymore, like him. But since, he pulled himself together again and started a new life… in which he wants you in again. ‘

Leaving Heaven would mean being damned herself. And that scares (Y/N). Of course she wants to join Tom and be reunited with him but she doesn’t know if she could handle it. Her breathing accelerates but the air doesn’t fills the lungs fully. Watching her starting to panic, Harrison stands.

‘ (Y/N), listen to me. ‘ He puts his hands on her shoulders to steady her, ‘ Tom knows what he is doing, and that is why he waited for so long. He found every information he needed and now is the right time. Do you trust him, (Y/N)? ‘

“I…”

‘ (Y/N). Do you trust Tom? ‘ pushes Harrison.

“Yes I do.”

‘ Do you still love Tom? ‘

“Of course I do, with all my heart.”

‘ Then come with me and don’t worry, you will be safe. ‘

She looks straight into the demon’s eyes. And she knows he tells the truth.

“But I should bring some belongings before lea-”

‘ You don’t need to bring anything. Tom is waiting for you now and surely she will give you everything you need down there. ‘

“Harrison I-I don’t know if I’m ready or not…”

‘ You are, (Y/N). You have been for a long time. ‘

She gulps, her throat still dry since he arrived. This is it. (Y/N)’s is about to change again for good. She doesn’t feel ready because this is a major change - and a dangerous one - but still, after all this time being by herself, she now understands the hidden feeling she kept buried in her heart. The feeling of Tom still being alive. And him still wanting her by his side. Whenever he was.

While the angel appeases her overflowing emotions, she barely notices the extended hand offered by Harrison. So when she finally sees it, she looks at him with soft eyes, still her mind troubled by all what happened to her since this evening. Harrison invites her to join their hands by nodding at her. And when they finally do, both of them start walking toward the edge of the cliff.

“Harrison… is Hell… scary?”

They stop right at the edges, hands linked and bodies turn into the dark and cloudy horizon.

‘ Hell is not a happy place, (Y/N), but I can guarantee you Tom will protect you and make you feel at home. I’m sure he will. ‘

(Y/N) lets out a sigh. A calmed one. And she squeezes the demon’s hand as if to tell him she is ready. Kind of.

‘ I suggest you to close your eyes. Just in case. Not to… scare you. ‘ offers Harrison.

(Y/N) nods slightly her head and inhaled a big amount of air.

‘ Do you trust me? ‘

“Well, it’s not like I’ve got the choice right?” sarcastically replies (Y/N), with an amused smile painted on her angelic face.

Harrison laughs heartily at this remark showing his perfect white teeth, his canines sharp as a beast’s.

‘ My my, all angels should be like you. Things would be so much funnier! ‘

The young woman laughs in her turn, all the tension leaving her body a little more. When the silence of the night reigns again, the two beings open out their gigantic wings.

‘ Ready? ‘

“Ready.”

* * * *

(Y/N) has just enough time to close her eyes and everything accelerates pretty quickly. She hears and feels “things”. Screams. Hotness. Fire maybe? But then cold. And hot again. Things trying to grab her arms or legs, but never making it. Her wings continue to beat the air to fly toward the unknown. A total unknown world that she heard about but without fully knowing what happens in it. A world that her lover now rules on. Her fallen lover that waits for her. And she just couldn’t wait any longer.

‘ (Y/N), we arrived ‘ Harrison tells her.

Like she has been asleep for decades, (Y/N) slowly opens her eyes. And what is in front of her astonishes her that much she nearly falls backward. Harrison pulls her back toward, still hand in hand.

‘ Welcome to the Underworld of Hell, (Y/N). ‘

In front of the angel lays an arid landscape. The ground looks covered by dust, a bit red and black, likesand. A desert. But not lava or a single flame. The sky has nothing to do with the purity of the Heaven one, but still not scary or as described in the books. Displaying a gradation of slight red and dark blue, maybe black actually, that weirdly match together. No sun or moon or star. A clear devil sky. (Y/N) can also notice some the people walking around. Demons walking around, or flying eventually. All dressed up in black just like Harrison. A typical scenery similar to Heaven but with very different people. Without debauchery. And when (Y/N) decides to turn around, she falls face to face with a gigantic castle, all made in dark bricks to stay in the aesthetic of the place. Her and Harrison are actually standing of the steps that lead to it and (Y/N) feels like even smaller and fragile as she normally is. But is that weird she doesn’t feel frighten? At all?

’ So you found her, mate? ’

The voice makes (Y/N) jump and she lets the demon’s hand go, turning toward the new male’s voice. And she almost bumps into a body. When she backs up, after saying sorry, she sees a new demon.

’ Hi, I’m Jacob. (Y/N), right? ’

(Y/N) chooses to only nod at him. And her new encounter shakes vividly her hand.

’ Cool! He’s gonna be soooo excited to see you again! The man only talks about you and how you’re pretty, and you really are! ’

‘ Jacob, don’t scare her please… ‘ interrupts Harrison while approaching the two beings, staying next to (Y/N). ‘ She stills has to get used to Hell, you know? And- ‘

❞ Welcome back Harrison. Thank you so much for what you did, my friend. ❞

A new voice joins the talk. But this time, it brings shiver all over her body because she recognises it. She knows to who this fruity voice with a particular accent belongs to. For someone else it could be anybody. But for (Y/N) it can only be one person…

The young woman slowly turns over it, not really knowing what to expect. But when her angelic eyes cross his, for the first time in ages, this is it. The moment she waited for so long but never came until now. The moment she wishes to happen. It’s happening now.

This is him.

She stands here, surrounding by the other devil men, speechless. All emotions mix up in her body.

Tom exits the castle and stands on top of the stairs, tall and proud. All in black, from head to toes, but still as handsome as he was as an angel. The new King of Hell displays his enormous black wings on his back, showing his power to whoever is present at the moment. Harrison and Jacob kneel down. But (Y/N) couldn’t move but just admires Tom from the afar. Her heartbeats go insane and her breath accelerates.

“Tom…”

❞ Welcome back, my love. Welcome in Hell. And welcome home. ❞

🏷 Permanent tag list & mutuals 💖 (get notified)

@allegra-writes @tom-holland-is-spiderman @detroitbydark @blissfulparker @farfromhaz @xxtomxo @worldoftom @charismas-world  @stiles-banshees @americaxo17 @zabdisamor @princezzariel @mcuassemble @thatweirdomimic @juliebean247 @harryhollandwhore @spiderbibby @intiate03 @himynameishooman @bookworm06 @flowerboyparker @miraclesoflove @eridanuswave @jillanaholland @mendes-marvel @biebsmylife95 @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @tsh-darling @popbubblegumpop​ @fanficscuziranout

🏷 Heavenly Yours tag list 🕊🔥 (get notified)

@shayminisshiny @skymoonandstardust​ @blissfulparker​ @sectusempried @iwastornsincethestart @the-professional-procastinator​ @bloodyscarlet​ @loxbbg​ @biebsmylife95​

[colbybrocksmolder]

Blue - Colby Brock x Reader - Part 3/3

Part 1

Part 2

*** end of last chapter ***

“Hey Ivy, if you go put on your jacket, we can go see mommy and Mike.” Colby stood up, following Brennen to the door.

Ivy ran to her room squealing about getting to play with more dogs.

“Brennen.” Colby said, pulling him into their usual bro hug when he turned around. When Brennen went to pull away, Colby held him tight for a second. “Thanks, man.”

Brennen clapped him on the back, “Anytime, brother.”

*** new chapter ***

When Colby went to find Ivy, she wasn’t in her room. “Iiivyyyy”, he called out.

“Ready!” she cheered, walking out of Colby’s room, absolutely swimming in one of his hoodies.

He couldn’t help but laugh. She could barely walk it was so long. “Not exactly what I said, but I approve of the look, kid.” Colby grabbed her bag, his keys, and picked Ivy up. Putting her in the car-seat, he pulled her hands through the arms of the hoodie to make sure she was sitting comfortably.

“Yo!” Colby called out, climbing the stairs in the Slap House. “I brought food, but someone has to go get it out of the car.

“Keys me, brother”, Aryia called out, catching them when Colby threw them to him. He laughed, seeing Ivy bundled up in the hoodie. “We’ll turn you emo before you know it.” He said, kissing Ivy on the cheek.

She giggled, squirming for Colby to put her down when she saw her mom. “Mommy mommy” She yelled, trying to hold up the bottom of the hoodie so she could run to her.

“What do we have here?” Y/n laughed, scooping up her daughter.

“Hey, she picked it. Not me.” Colby held his hands up.

“It was an inevitability” she laughed.

“Aryia is bringing food up. It’s just a bunch of burgers and stuff. Everyone can take what they want.” Colby said, walking towards Mike’s room.

“Thank you!” Y/n called out after him.

“Hey!” Mike greeted him with a huge grin.

“You seem happy”, Colby laughed, closing Mike’s door behind him.

“Dude, we did bits this morning. She’s a fucking poet.” Mike answered, handing a notebook over to Colby who laid back on Mike’s bed.

After reading through a few pages of partially finished songs, he had to agree. “I’ve always loved her original music.” Colby said softly, going back a page to re-read the previous song.

Mike stared at him for a moment. “You okay?” Colby shrugged. “Real talk. Just between us.” Mike pushed a bit.

“I’m fucked, dude.” Colby sighed.

“Why?” Mike said a little too loud.

“Shhh.” Colby stared at him with his eyes dramatically wide.

“Sorry. Why.” Mike whispered, being a smartass.

“I’m in love with her.” Colby said, gently dragging his fingers over a certain section of lyrics on the page.

Mike looked to be thinking something over for a second. “Okay.”

“Okay? Really? That’s what you have to say?” Colby humorously laughed.

“I don’t quite understand the ‘fucked’ part, I guess.” Mike said, jumping on the bed next to Colby and laying down.

“They’re going to leave, Mike. She leaves in like 2 weeks.” Colby said, closing the notebook and laying it on Mike’s stomach.

“First, that’s a tentative plan. Plans change all the time. Second, have you even tried to talk to her about it?” He asked.

“What am I supposed to say? ‘Oh hi, I know you just met me but please change your life and the life of your daughter to move across the country and love me’? Yeah, that would go over great.” Colby sat up, headed for the door.

“Colby!” Mike stopped him before he reached the handle. “Don’t be stupid, dude.”

“Not helping.” Colby sighed.

“Hear me out.” Mike said, getting up to grab another notebook. “The lyrics you just read are for my songs. They’re dark and sad and you can tell we’re both writing from real experience. Personally, I want to murder whoever made her feel the things she’s writing about.”

“Don’t even get me started on that”, Colby agreed.

Mike chucked Colby another notebook. “But these? These are the songs that are going on her channel. This is what she’s writing about for her.”

Colby opened the notebook, sitting on the foot of Mike’s bed. He sat there for a few minutes, taking in the lyrics. “She sounds so happy.” Colby said.

“They’re all love songs, dude. And the only person she talks about to me is you.” Mike put his hand on Colby’s shoulder. “So like I said, don’t be stupid.”

When Colby walked back out to the living room, he saw Aryia using eyeliner to draw a little heart on Ivy’s cheek. “Looking good, my emo princess.” Colby laughed. Ivy was wearing some of Mike’s black bracelets and one of Kevin’s beanies. “Can I take a picture with you?” he asked, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

Ivy waddled over to Colby, trying to keep the bracelets from falling off of her arms and sat in Colby’s lap. “Do it like I showed you” Aryia said, holding up peace signs.

Ivy held up her peace signs next to her cheeks and stuck out her tongue. “Omg, what are we doing to you” Colby laughed, posing for about a hundred pictures with Ivy. “Hey Y/n, I’m gonna move her car-seat to the SUV. I have to go film with Sam and we aren’t going to be back until super late.”

“Of course! I’ll go down with you. I’m kind of picky about how it’s installed.” She answered, grabbing her keys. Aryia throwing Colby’s back to him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Ivy” Colby said, giving her a hug and kissing her on the top of her head.

They got the car-seat switched over and Colby started talking. “I read some of what you guys are working on. This may be the fanboy in me, but I can’t wait to hear the songs”, He laughed.

“Thank you. You’re always too sweet to me.” She pulled him into a hug.

“Hey, that’s not true. You deserve every good thing you get.” He answered, hugging her back.

The hug seemed to linger, no one pulling away. “Do you promise to be safe tonight?”

“What?” Colby asked, thrown off by her question.

“You’re filming with Sam. You guys do dangerous stuff all the time.” She answered.

He laughed, “You don’t need to worry about me.”

She shrugged looked up at him and half smiled. “Yet, I do.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek, walking back to the house.

“Y/n!” Colby called after her. She turned and looked at him. “I promise.”

Colby didn’t get back to the apartment until almost 2am. Him, Sam, Corey and Jake had gone to a weird park to record a spooky video. He walked in, being as quiet as he could. He hopped in the shower and got ready for bed, double checking that the door was locked. He heard what sounded like crying coming from y/n’s room. He didn’t want to knock and risk waking Ivy up, so he quietly cracked the door.

“Hello?” Y/n called out, her voice raspy like she had been crying.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” Colby whispered, walking towards the bed. He could see Ivy’s playpen where she slept with the light that flooded in from the living room.

“Bad dreams. I’m fine.” She sniffed.

“I’m going to move Ivy to my room so we can talk, okay?” Colby said, leaning down to pick the sleeping girl up. He laid her down in his bed, making sure to put a pillow between her and the edge. He put the koala next to her, tucked her in, and closed his door so they wouldn’t wake her up.

“I’m sorry”, Y/n said when Colby walked back in the room.

“Y/n, I already told you you don’t need to apologize.” He laid down on the unused side of the bed, leaving some space between them. “What happened in your dream?”

“I, uh…I should probably explain some stuff first.” She said, taking a deep breath. “My ex, Ivy’s dad…He really showed his true colors once she was born. We had only been dating for like a year when I got pregnant and he acted so happy about it. When I had Ivy, he completely changed. He held it over me, like I needed to give him access to all of my money and stuff because we were ‘linked’ as he put it.”

Colby could hear her breath catch in her chest like she was fighting back more tears. “Here”, he reached out holding her hand.

She squeezed his hand, continuing on. “I broke up with him, but he didn’t really leave. He would come over yelling, telling me he deserves to see his kid but yelling at her when she’d try to sit with him or ‘annoy’ him as he put it. He’d scream at me and break stuff in my apartment. I don’t even have any pictures of the two of them together after she was like 3 months old.”

Colby was furious. “Did he ever…” he started to ask.

“He never hurt her. About 4 months ago he shoved me into a wall before storming out of my apartment. I called the police and got a restraining order.” She said, full on crying again. “I couldn’t risk him ever hurting her.”

Colby reached out and pulled y/n against his chest, wrapping his arms tight around her. “Y/n, you did the right thing. And you’ve done such a good job raising her on your own. You didn’t deserve anything he did to you.”

“I’m normally not like this, I promise.” She said, embarrassed that she had broken down in front of him.

“Y/n, you’re allowed to be human. It’s not weak to vent or to cry.” Colby reminded her.

“I think writing with Mike kind of brought some stuff back up in my mind.” She explained. “When you write about the dark stuff in your life, you kind of feel it all over again. It’s therapeutic, but it’s not easy.”

“I can’t imagine.” Colby said, thinking about the lyrics he had read in Mike’s notebook. “I don’t know if he was supposed to or not, but Mike let me read some of the stuff going on your channel too.”

“I may or may not find a way to get back at him for doing that.” y/n said, hiding her face in Colby’s chest.

“Don’t be embarrassed. Those lyrics are beautiful.” Colby tried to think of the best way to say what he was thinking. “Those songs…they, uh. They make it seem like maybe you’ve got someone better in your life now.”

“Thank you, but those songs are full of hopes and dreams, Colby.” She said bluntly. “The person they’re about doesn’t even know I care about them.”

“Y/n”, Colby played with a bit of her hair, trying to muster up the courage to say what was in his head. “I mean this with every ounce of honesty in my body…any guy that doesn’t see how wonderful and beautiful and perfect you and Ivy are, doesn’t deserve you. He doesn’t deserve such beautiful songs to be written about him. He doesn’t deserve your love. He doesn’t deserve to be around your amazing daughter. He doesn’t deserve…”

Y/n interrupted him by pressing her lips against his. “I’m sorry”, she said, pulling back.

“I’m not.” He said, holding her tight against him. “Do it again.”

“Colby”, she exhaled. She slipped her hands up to gently cradle his face. “Those songs are about you”, she said, leaning back down to capture his lips in another kiss.

Colby rolled them over, holding himself above her body. “I swear I don’t cuss in front of Ivy, but thank fucking god.” He said, dipping back down to continue the kiss.

She laughed, smiling against his lips. Her hands roamed down the skin of his back, giving him goosebumps. “Is now a bad time to ask what this all means?”  

“It’s never a bad time to ask that.” He said, pressing gentle kisses to her neck. “I know what I feel. I know what I want. So, the ball is in your court.” He said, kissing her lips one more time.

“What do you want?” Y/n asked.

“You. And everything that comes along with you. I want to help take care of Ivy, I want to be laying next to you every time you have a bad dream, I want to be there cheering you on wherever your music takes you, I want to do dumb shit like hold your hand at chipotle and argue about how much ice cream I should actually let Ivy eat…” Colby blurted out, leaning down to kiss y/n between sentiments. “I want you to move here.” He said, sliding down to rest his head against her chest. He felt a little nervous after opening the vulnerability flood gates.

Y/n let his words wash over her, her hands going to play with Colby’s hair. “I’m going to ask you something and I don’t want you to be mad.” She said with tears in her eyes.

He held his weight up on one of his elbows, wiping her tears away with the other hand. “Babe, why are you crying? I’m not going to be mad.”

She couldn’t help but smile when he called her babe. “Well, BABE”, she laughed. “I’m kind of in love with you. That’s why I’m crying.”

Colby leaned down to press another kiss to her lips. “Y/n, I’m more than kind of in love with you. That shouldn’t make you cry, though.” He kissed her again. “What’s your question?”

“You know that I come with baggage. I’ve got a daughter. I couldn’t be with someone I didn’t think could love her as much as I do.” She explained.

“Ivy isn’t baggage and I’m 104% sure I already do.” He interrupted.

“I know, Colby.” She put her hand against his cheek. “I wouldn’t have fallen for you if I didn’t think you’d love her. I just need to make sure you understand what having a kid would mean. I got pregnant so young and it changed my life overnight.”

“Y/n, to put this quite simply…I have been dreading you two leaving. You can ask any of my friends. I feel whole now. Like we were meant to be a family. I dreaded you guys leaving and just feeling empty without you. I mean BRENNEN even told me to man up and talk to you.”

Y/n laughed, leaning up to connect their lips. “I’m in.”

“You’re in?” Colby asked, deepening the kiss.

“I don’t want to leave.” She answered.

Colby rolled them over, so Y/n was laying on top of him. “We’ll figure out all of the details later.” He said, his hands sliding up under the sides of her pajama shirt. “Right now, I just want to show you everything I’ve been holding back.”

Colby sat up, causing y/n to straddle his lap. He broke their kiss just long enough to slide her baggy sleep shirt off. “Colby.” Y/n breathlessly said, grabbing his hands before they could wander more of her body.

“Are you okay? Am I going too fast?” He worried, searching her face in the dark for some sort of sign.

“I had to have a c-section with Ivy so I have a really big scar across the bottom of my stomach. I just don’t want you to be surprised.” She said, letting him rest his hands back on her sides.

“Baby, all that means is that you and Ivy are both here safe and sound and THAT is a beautiful thing.” Colby said, laying her back on the bed. He took his shirt off and leaned down over her. He kissed down her neck, across her collarbone and down her chest. He pulled down the top of her shorts far enough to run his finger along the scar that connected her hipbones and then traced the same line with his lips. “I don’t want to do anything you aren’t ready for.”

“Colby, I want this.” She assured him.

“I’ll be right back.” Colby rolled off the bed and ran to grab a condom. When he came back in the room, he had a funny look on his face.

“You okay?” Y/n laughed, grabbing the condom from him and pulling him back towards the bed.

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “I just had to tiptoe by the other love of my life to grab that condom and it took me a minute to process that whole thing in my head.”

“Brennen is here?” She teased.

“Oh, ha ha. Very funny.” He said, catching her off guard by pulling her legs out from under her, her back hitting the mattress. “I mean our little one sleeping in my bed.”

Y/n’s heart fluttered hearing him say ‘our’. She wrapped her legs around Colby, pulling him against her and kissing him.

“That one felt different.” Colby said, biting her bottom lip.

“You called her ours.” Y/n said, her tongue asking for entrance against his bottom lip.

Colby broke the kiss, pulling back far enough to discard the rest of his clothing. “She is ours. And one day we’ll have more.” He slid his fingers into the waistband of her shorts, removing the rest of her clothes.

“Sounds perfect.” She said, opening the condom and sliding it on him.

Colby kneeled down between her legs, his hands caressing her thighs. He left a trail of wet kisses from her inner knee all the way to her most sensitive area. Looking up at her, her body sprawled out on the bed in front of him, He asked, “are you ready, baby?” Y/n nodded, Colby dipping his tongue between her folds. He teased her for a second with soft licks before pursing his lips and lightly sucking on her clit.

Y/n’s hands went to Colby’s hair, “Colby”, she moaned, throwing her head back against the bed.

“God, you are so sexy.” He said, sliding a finger, and then two, into her heat as he took her little bundle of nerves back into his mouth. He licked and sucked, pushing her to the edge of her pleasure.

“Fuck, Colby.” Y/n said, pulling Colby’s hair a bit.

Colby groaned, even more turned on watching Y/n fall apart. The added vibrations of his voice against her pushed her over the edge and she threw her hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t cry out. Colby crawled up her body, replacing her hand with his lips. “I love you, Y/n”, he said, wrapping one of her legs around his hip and slowly entering her.  

“I love you, too” Y/n panted, feeling Colby slowly increase his speed.

Their bodies moved together like they were dancing. Meant to be. Colby felt like he was riding some sort of high, pouring every bit of emotion he’s felt over the last few weeks into showing Y/n how much he loved her. Colby’s hand dipped down between them, pleasuring Y/n until she was over the edge of her second climax. Following her, he hid his face against her neck to muffle the noise. “Y/n” he moaned, filling the condom. His thrusts slowing until all you could hear were their labored breaths.

Y/n pulled Colby down to rest his weight against her. “Thank you.” She whispered, pressing a kiss to Colby’s messy hair.

“What for?” he asked, lifting his head to look up at her.

“Everything”, she answered.

The two of them laid there for a while, just enjoying the connection of skin on skin. They talked a bit here and there, but mostly they just listened to each other breathe.

“We need to get dressed.” Colby chuckled, lifting his head from where it had been snuggled in Y/n chest.

“You’re probably right.” She agreed, reaching for her clothes.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Colby said, throwing on his pants. “Make sure you’re decent when I get back.” He laughed.

Colby went to his room and grabbed another pair of boxers and sweatpants before hopping back in the shower. When he got out, he picked Ivy up and walked her back to her playpen. “I didn’t want her to wake up alone.” He explained, making sure she was all tucked in with his stuffed koala.

“You’re incredibly sweet.” Y/n said, pulling back the blanket to invite Colby to join her.

“Well, you’re incredibly incredible.” Colby laughed, knowing how cheesy he sounded. “Come here”, he said, pulling Y/n to lay across his chest.

When he woke up a few hours later, it was to the sound of y/n’s blow-dryer turning off. Looking down, he saw that Ivy had taken Y/n’s place. “Good morning, beautiful”, Colby said.

“G’morning, blue”, Ivy replied.

“I love when you call me that.” Colby smiled down at the little girl. “Can I ask you a question?” He said, sitting up.

Crawling to sit on Colby’s lap, she nodded ‘yes’.

“Is it okay if I love your mom?”, he asked after taking a deep breath.

She looked up at him with a curious look on her face. When she crawled out of his lap, his face dropped. She stood on the bed staring at Colby, her hands coming to rest on his cheeks. “Gon be nice to mom?”

Colby felt his heart break, a few tears silently making their way down his face to her hands. He wrapped his arms around her and replied, “sweetheart, you shouldn’t even have to know what that means.” He kissed her forehead and continued. “I promise I will NEVER hurt you or your mom. I love you both so much.”

“Love you too, blue.” Ivy said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Colby scooped her up and walked to the bathroom to find Y/n. “we’re coming with you, today.” He said, leaning over to pull her into a quick kiss.

“I’d love to have you guys with me.” She replied, looking up at Colby. “Were you crying?” she ran her thumb under his eye.

“We just had a little talk.” He smiled, “Right Ivy?” He set her down so she was standing on the bathroom counter with one of his arms around her just in case.

Ivy looked at Colby and then at her mom before hiding her face back in Colby’s neck.

“What are you being shy for?” Y/n asked, grabbing her off of the counter. Ivy whispered something in her mom’s ear. “yeah?” Y/n said, Ivy whispering something else. “I think so, too”. Ivy peeked back at Colby for a second before whispering one final thing to her mom. “Did you ask him that?” Y/n asked.

“Not yet.” Ivy answered, squirming so Y/n would put her down. She ran out of the bathroom.

“Hey, Ivy? You need to get dressed so we don’t make your mom late.” Colby called out, closing the space between him and Y/n. “What was that about?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her again.

“Oh, she’s got something she wants to ask you.” Y/n smiled fondly up at the amazing man in front of her.

“Am I allowed to know?” He chuckled.

“She’ll ask you when she’s ready.” Y/n answered. “I love you”

“I love you too, y/n”, Colby pulled her tight to him before leaving the bathroom to get ready.

When they got to the Slap House, the only one awake was Mike. “Ooo, we have a full house today.” He said, reaching his arms out for Ivy, sitting her on his hip. “Good morning, cutie.”

Both Colby and Ivy said good morning back at the same time. Ivy burst out in giggles and Y/n turned to playfully slap his arm, smiling at him.

Colby chuckled, pulling Y/n into his side. “You know I’m cute.”

“This is a fact.” Y/n leaned up to quickly kiss his lips.

When they looked back at Mike, his mouth was hanging open with a grin that looked like a kid on Christmas morning. “What is this?”

Colby’s face went red, Y/n slipping his hand into hers. Ivy whispered a little “pssst” so that Mike would lean his head down to her. After she whispered something in his ear, he chuckled. “I think that’s very true.” She waved him back down and whispered something else. Mike’s face softened and he looked over at Colby before looking back at Ivy. “Sweetie, I think he already is.”

“Why does everyone get secrets but me?” Colby asked with a pouty face.

“Don’t worry, you’re really going to like this one when it makes its way around to you.” Mike said, setting Ivy on the ground to play with the dogs. “Come here, you two.” Mike pulled them each into a hug. “Congrats.”

“Thanks, brother.” Colby said, going to make sure Ivy was okay.

They ended up waiting over a month before going back to Y/n’s apartment to pack up her stuff. Once there wasn’t a time crunch to get the music done, everyone kind of relaxed, making the whole process even better. Sam and Kat volunteered to watch Ivy while Colby and Y/n packed up what she wanted to keep from her old life. It took them almost a week, total. The two of them flew there, packed up a small U-Haul truck full of mostly sentimental things and recording equipment, and drove home. They ended up getting home super late and working into the morning. They unpacked the truck, turning the spare bedroom into Ivy’s room before walking over to Sam’s to wake her up.

“Sweetheart.” Colby said, laying down next to a sleeping Ivy.

“Wake up, Ivy”, Y/n said, rubbing her back.

“This will wake her up”, Colby said, taking his stuffed koala out of her arms. Ivy sat up, rubbing her eyes. “Told you.”

She looked around for a second before realizing what was going on. “Blue!” she yelled, turning over and climbing on his chest, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Hi, baby girl”, Colby hugged her tight against him, sitting up. “Did you miss us?”

Ivy nodded her head, crying into Colby’s neck.

“Aww, come here.” Y/n said, picking up Ivy. “Let’s head home.”

Y/n Thanked Sam and Kat for watching her before walking with Ivy back to their new home.

“She hasn’t cried once until you guys got here.” Sam laughed.

“Y/n said she might cry when we picked her up”, Colby answered, smiling at his best friend.

“I’m pretty sure they’re happy tears.” Kat added.

Sam pulled Colby into a hug. “You look happy. It looks good on you, dude”, he said.

“It feels good, brother”, Colby answered, unable to keep a smile from his face. “Alright. I haven’t slept in like 30 hours, so I’m gonna head over there. Thank you both, again, for taking care of her”, Colby pulled Kat into a hug.

“Anytime”, she answered.

After catching up on some much needed sleep and enjoying a Pizza Night back over at Sam’s, the three of them were home for the night. Ivy ran over to her mom, lifting her arms so she would be picked up. Ivy leaned up, whispering into Y/n’s ear.

“Am I ever going to get my secret?” Colby asked, watching them from the couch.

She whispered again into Y/n’s ear. “I think now is a good time” her mom answered, setting her back down on the floor. Y/n sneakily reached over and turned the camera that was always sitting on the tripod on to capture the moment for Colby.

Ivy walked over to Colby looking a little shy. “Do I finally get my secret?” He asked, pulling her up to lay on his chest.

She took a minute before saying “I love you, blue.”

Colby never got sick of hearing that. “I love you more, sweetheart”, he replied, kissing the top of her head. “That’s not a secret, though.”

Ivy laid there a few more seconds before crawling up to try and whisper something to him. “I want you to be my dad”, she cried, unable to keep it a whisper.

Colby’s eyes shot to Y/n, quickly brimming with unshed tears. He was frozen for a full 2 seconds before he sat up and squeezed Ivy to his chest. “Baby girl, that’s the best secret I’ve ever heard in my whole life.” He rocked her back and forth, waiting for her tears to quiet. “Can I tell you my secret?” Colby asked. He sat her on the coffee table facing him so he could see her face.

She nodded ‘yes’ as Colby wiped her tears away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Ivy reached up trying to wipe away Colby’s tears.

“I would love to be your dad”, Colby said, catching Ivy as she leapt back into his arms. He felt Y/n join them on the couch and when he looked over, he could see her tear stained, but joyful smile. Her eyes staring back into his. “I love you two so much”, he said, leaning over to kiss her.

“We love you too, blue.” Y/n replied.

[mythicamagic]

Ulquihime Week: Day 6 (chapter two)

@ulquihimeweek

Pairing: Ulquiorra/Orihime (UlquiHime) fanfic, Chapter One: Here. 

Rated M  

Summary: Orihime has an imaginary friend, who happens to be a terrifying creature living in the woods behind her summer home.

Due to tumblr restrictions, this might be deleted, so know that you can also read this fic here: on Ao3 or Fanfiction.net

For Ulquihime Week 2019 Day 6: Possession 

Eldritch: Chapter Two

Warning: Smut

Living with Orihime felt extremely alien and uncomfortable at first. He wasn't used to the hardwood floors that made the long claw-like nails of his toes scratch and drag on the surface, the plush bedding he sank a good two-feet into, the stifling warmth of a heater. His wings were entirely too large and cumbersome in the small apartment no matter how neatly he folded them.

One morning Orihime gasped and caught a lamp before it hit the ground- knocked over by a long tail. Again. He glanced at her and coiled it closer to himself, awkwardly perched on a barstool at her kitchen counter.

"Look at you. I really gave you random features when I was a kid, huh?" She sighed. "I'm sorry, they must be uncomfortable."

"You asked me to get the features you desired and I obeyed," he muttered, sipping some water. His claws clicked on the glass, dragging and leaving faint scratches as he adjusted his bent knees. "Since I'd received sight and other useful things from you, I had no grievance with changing my appearance. It's inconsequential."

Orihime righted the lamp and bit her lip, wandering closer and brushing a gentle hand over the black feathers on his back. Lean muscle tensed. Every nerve ending pricked and burned, anticipating her touch on his bare skin. It never came.

"Do you dislike it?" Escaped him.

She twined some lengthy wisps of fur that mingled with the softness of the feathers around her fingers, smiling nostalgically. "No, you're still mine, silly. It's kinda like looking at a drawing I made when I was younger."

Bitterness rose in his throat, clogging like mud- even as his body flared alive with her admission of ownership. "Yes," he muttered. I am yours. "You seem unexpectedly fine with talking to a 'childhood drawing.' Most humans don't exhibit this kind of behaviour."

He'd tried and failed to keep the hiss out of his words, the sting of being referred to as a figment of her imagination.

Orihime pried out a few leaves that had tangled in the dark fur, brushing out some dried dirt. "It's just like I told you, I've always been bullied for being a little strange," she giggled. "Daydreaming too much, eating weird things, thinking about stuff differently from other people. They mistook me...and thought I saw myself as better than them for not fitting in. I don't know why," the gentle note to her voice became quieter. "Just shows I haven't changed after all this time if I'm still talking to and seeing you. I mean most people would probably be fine with their brother's death after so many years."

He wasn't entirely sure how grief worked but did not know enough about the subject to object. His body stiffened and sighed as she touched a leathery wing. "Anyway, not to change the subject but I think you need a shower, mister."

Ulquiorra blinked slowly.

----

That was how he found himself being playfully shoved into a shower cubical. Orihime turned on the water, which hit the expanse of his back at full blast. He made a noise of surprise, claws reaching out and dragging over her waist and slicing the material of her nightgown. She merely laughed and tried to bar his escape from the cramped space by blocking the exit, "just calm down~ I promise it won't hurt you!" She giggled, gasping as the water soaked her as well.

He grit his teeth. Realising he was acting childishly to the unfamiliar situation, he held himself rigidly still.

Reaching for the shampoo, Orihime lathered her hands and worked slim fingers through his hair. Ulquiorra stared, watching as the material of her blue clothing became sodden, leaving it fairly see-through. It showed the suggestion of skin laying just beneath, the shape of her full breasts as the material clung to her, rose-pink nipples hardening slightly.

"Close your eyes."

Ulquiorra flicked his curious gaze up, but she was merely smiling, having not noticed. "The shampoo will sting if it gets in them."

And then he realised; she was not looking at him as a man. It made sense, since to Orihime he was not real. If she were attracted to him she'd never be able to bathe him so thoughtlessly. Intense green eyes slid shut, tail sliding to wrap around her leg. A security measure to prevent her escape.

As soft palms slid over his fur, wings and arms, washing the splashes of dirt away, Ulquiorra sensed reluctance the second her hands met his chest. "You didn't have this before," she murmured, voice barely heard over the sound of the spray. His eyes cracked open, breath hissing out of mismatched lips. Her fingers glided around the hollow hole.

Heat hooked low in his stomach. "No, I did not," he thought for a moment. "But it's always been there, beneath the surface."

Orihime's brows drew together, "I really should have given you a heart. This is just cruel."

She continued bathing him, her body occasionally pressing and dragging lightly, torturously against his. Ulquiorra didn't know why his gut kept tightening but something was happening to him. It was like he'd flown for miles in a single few seconds, limbs burning, breath quickening.

"Maybe you could get a heart," she was musing. "Like a pig's one. They're meant to be similar to a humans. Oh! Dummy," she knocked her head with her fist. "You could get a heart from the hospital. There are organ donors, that's a thing."

"You told me never to steal," he pointed out, panting a little. Sweat on his brow mingled with the water running down his chin and brow. It was becoming difficult to think of anything else but pulling her body closer and moving against it. For some reason he wanted to taste her.

Orihime was biting her lip in that maddening way- and he drew closer, leaning down until they were nose to nose. "And I do not want just anyone's heart."

Her cheeks reddened, lush body stiffening against his. Those captivating eyes widened, roving over his face questioningly.

Good, he thought. Look at me.

Orihime broke the moment by giggling a touch nervously, patting his arm. "I-um...better leave you to it. You've got the hang of things now and I need to dry off if I'm going to make it on time for school."

The thin tail shifted and tightened around her leg, holding her in place. Ulquiorra stared, catching the moment she noticed.

"Let go, Ulquiorra." Her voice was soft.

Reluctantly, he obeyed, watching as she eased away and flashed a smile that said she'd already forgiven his slip.

Ulquiorra felt the cold attack his skin much more brutally than any rainstorm or blizzard he'd experienced before. That same hunger returned, causing him to place a hand over the gaping emptiness in his chest.

----

During the hours that she went to school, Ulquiorra couldn't help his curious mind. He opened draws, tested light switches, read the food magazines she'd stored, brushed up on sex education and puberty, learned how some electrical appliances worked, watched documentaries, found her diary and a stash of chocolate hidden under the bed- took a bite- and decided chocolate tasted too sweet.

The evenings were his preferred time of day. He wasn't sure why.

Orihime always came home in the late afternoon and would teach him new things he'd overlooked about the human world. Namely, hobbies. Video games, board games, painting, cooking, sculpting.

Sometimes he could hear her speak with school mates outside the door. When they questioned why she was suddenly being so secretive about her apartment, Orihime would deflect or say renovations were being done.

Ulquiorra's lips twitched at the corners.

One day, his curiosity prompted him to lean down and peer through the blinds of the apartment. The window looked down onto the street, sunset bathing everything in warm colours, including Orihime as she stood talking to her friends.

There was a girl with short dark hair who looked like an athletic type. The other, a young man. He stood tall and slightly lanky, with light orange hair. His expression told Ulquiorra that he was complaining about something. None the less, Orihime laughed, a blush colouring her cheeks.

Something pricked in the depths of his chest. His hollow hole thrummed, the edges biting. He grunted, touching it lightly. It had never done that before.

When Orihime returned and she called out her standard 'I'm home!' Ulquiorra met her eyes. Whatever she saw on his face had her instantly quieting, the happiness fleeing to be replaced with worry.

The creature blinked and wiped his expression clean, ensuring it was blank.

"Welcome back."

----

Ulquiorra learned what the young man was called, and it was the very name that Orihime had filled her diary with.

"...Do you desire Ichigo Kurosaki's heart?" He asked randomly during supper. Her cheeks bloomed with that same colour which churned the blood in his veins. She stuttered and waved her hands, laughing it off.

Ulquiorra glanced away, moodily continuing to eat the pickles in custard she'd prepared.

----

When night fell he would fly out into the world, trying to find answers.

There were sometimes different pressures in the air. Sensations fleeting in the sky like if he just let something click inside him- he'd be able to pierce the veil between the human world and the unknown beyond. Since he was neither human nor animal, he wondered if he were originally from such a place. If, perhaps...he was supposed to belong there.

Ulquiorra didn't understand why he hesitated. It would surely provide answers, possibly about death, resurrection and Orihime's brother.

When the hours crawled towards morning he'd return to her.

Orihime lay on her side in a sprawl of limbs, firey strands of hair dishevelled and splayed around her pillow in loose spirals. Her lips were slightly pursed, a small snore occasionally disturbing the quiet, the covers thrown back from her habit of kicking them off in the night. It left the contours of her figure exposed to his assessing gaze.

Ulquiorra swallowed, wondering why his mouth had filled with saliva.

Tonight she'd worn a loose tank top and shorts, which had ridden up on her thighs, the curve of her ass and exposed stomach causing a similar sensation he'd felt while in the shower. Arousal, most likely, from what that book had described.

Because of what he'd read about human behaviour, Ulquiorra was aware of how inappropriate it was to watch her sleep. Others would find his fascination frightening, creepy. He didn't care. He only desired to know what Orihime's reaction would be, as she was the only human who mattered to him.

The matress quietly groaned under his weight as the creature knelt onto the covers, crawling up the bed. He braced himself over the sleeping woman, staring with unblinking eyes. Despite what he knew about humans, reading about them, about touch, lust, sex...all of it was cold. Facts and figures.

Being so close to Orihime was warm. Images began to invade his thoughts, of his tongue gliding over her skin, nails dragging, cutting that ripe flesh open to lick and suck at her wounds and blood. Maybe bite down with the blunt, adult teeth she'd blessed him with. The fine hairs at the end of his tail glided up her thigh, tracing the shape.

And if...if she touched him in return, it would undo whatever control he had and spout lightning into his nerve endings. Just to see her looking up at him with want and open desire-

Instincts hazed, gut tightening as he heard a soft noise that caused his cock to stir.

Green eyes immediately located the tears sliding down her cheeks. Though she remained asleep beneath him, the woman trembled. Her lips pressed together, wobbling, more sounds escaping.

"S-Sora..." she sobbed, turning her face into the pillow.

Ulquiorra watched silently. He then achingly, carefully drew away from her, grasping the covers and lifting them to settle over her shoulders.

The creature then escaped into the vast reaches of the night, plunging himself through the resistance of the world and falling into an unknown one full of white sands, dead trees, and a crescent moon hanging in the sky.

---

"I found him," he said the next evening.

Orihime looked up from her cup of hot chocolate, eyes refocusing from her clouded thoughts. She did that sometimes, slipped away somewhere he couldn't follow. Slowly, the words registered, and life was breathed into her features once more.

"You have?" She whispered, voice thin.

He glanced away, discontentment churning. "He is not the same person you once knew."

"I don't care," she stood from her chair, gaze bright. "Oh Ulquiorra," she breathed, hurrying to him and taking his hand prisoner within her own. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Green eyes slid back to her as though they loathed to look away too long. "Why is it so important that you see him?"

Orihime bowed her head, glancing at Sora's picture. She'd explained before that the display in her home was a shrine to her brother, one that she prayed to every day.

She then raised her hand and touched the blue hairpin's securely clipped into her locks. "We had an argument the day he died...about these. I keep feeling like he got into the car accident because he was distracted. And no matter how much I pray and try to assure him not to worry about me, I feel guilty. Like I can't move on. Or maybe something won't let me. Hehe, maybe I won't let myself~" she giggled in the light, nervous way she usually did to try and dispell sombre moods.

"And you feel that if you speak with him, you will move on?" He struck into the heart of the matter, undeterred by her attitude.

"I-I don't know," she murmured. "He did so much for me. Raised me as his own since he was 18. I repaid him by being a brat on his last day alive."

Ulquiorra shifted, fingers twitching. Slowly, they curled around her own. "He is called Acidwire now."

"Acid...wire..." the name sounded cold and cruel, completely at odds with the vision of her brother.

"I'm not human, therefore I can't say what is best for you. Your desire to see him is most likely misguided and will shatter the idea that you have of your sibling. Do you still want to go?" He asked, not curbing his acerbic tongue. Ulquiorra theorised that was exactly what would happen, but she raised her head, taking him by surprise.

Her eyes were hard as flint. It was a rare thing to see Orihime glare. "If he's different, then that just means I'll have to adapt and accept it. Nothing changes the fact that it's him. I don't care if he's not human, I'll still love him."

The gears in his mind rusted, stilling. His entire being felt anchored to the blazing passion he gazed into. Ulquiorra inclined his head, grabbing her close.

Orihime squeaked, holding on around his shoulders as black fur glided under her thighs, his arms supporting her. He then walked briskly to the window and squeezed out of it with her- leaping into the air.

A cry sounded out as she gripped him hard, and Ulquiorra felt frustrated with the subsequent leap in his gut. Large wings flapped and took them higher into the sky, the wind lashing at their hair and mixing charcoal black with fiery orange locks.

---

As stated, Sora had changed. However, the full scope of how much he'd changed could have been better detailed.

The...being towered above her in size. Orihime stared up at it with wide eyes, breath catching in her throat. A bone-white mask hid its facial features, dark hair framing the ghoulish face. It's more human-like red arms and torso disappeared into a snake body, supporting itself upright by coiling its tail behind it.

Those red eyes were the most jarring, filled with no light or hope, much like the sands and bleak landscape surrounding them. Every fibre of her being screamed at her to run, to leave the terrible, desolate place that gave an odour of death.

Setting her shoulders, Orihime stepped away from Ulquiorra's side, brows pulling together. "Brother?" She said gently.

Acidwire made a low, guttural noise. Dark locks hung forward as he bent over her, teeth glistening.

"It's me, Orihime. Do you remember?"

Her grey gaze roved over his face as his shadow swallowed her.

"...Ori...hime?"

She felt small before him but took another step. Her childhood ability to look past imperfections and create something friendly reared its head, and Orihime found herself smiling despite the situation, filling up with happiness.

The creature's jaws pried open- lunging down toward her.

Orihime gasped, a loud thudding sound filled her ears, sand kicking up into her face. The sound of bone cracking soon followed. Realising that she was unharmed, she shakily pried her eyes open, coughing, the sand caught in her hair and lashes. A strangled noise chocked her throat the second her mind registered the figures before her.

Ulquiorra stood between them, hands gripping Acidwire's upper and lower jaws as they bore down upon him. Her friend's foot was planted in the ground, no sign of strain on his face as he looked up into the second pair of teeth within the pitch-black mouth.

"...Trash," he muttered lowly.

"Ulquiorra!" She quickly moved out of the way, eyes wide. This wasn't going anything like she'd imagined, and if this was all in her head why was Sora- why had he tried to hurt her?

To her surprise, Ulquiorra grunted, shifting his stance and lifting the snake-like creature's jaws back over his head- before tossing its large body into the air. The creature sailed away, landing a good distance away in the white dunes. A distant thud could be heard, followed by a roar of outrage.

Black wings unfolded, tail swishing with agitation. Orihime grasped his arm suddenly. "Why...did he try to hurt us?" She murmured.

"I told you he was changed," was his dispassionate response, features cold and blank as ever. Except for those eyes. They burned with a colour more vibrant than she could recall seeing before, leaking into something new. "He's...like me now."

Orihime's heart lurched and she gripped tighter. "You're nothing alike!" Her voice became sharp even as she thought of the hollow holes in their chests. She couldn't accept the idea of her friend she'd played with in the woods turning on her in such a way. To try and devour her. "Don't say that."

"Sister!" White sands were spitting up into the air, something beneath them racing towards them at a breakneck speed. "Orihime, come with me. We can be together now! Die. Stay with me!"

She turned to Ulquiorra with wide eyes, "run away! I don't want you getting hurt!"

"The first order is quite impossible, but I'll endeavour to follow the latter," he muttered evenly, just as jaws burst forth from the ground aiming straight for Orihime.

A black wing swung out, slamming into Acidwire's neck and pushing the attack off course. He then leapt into the air after it.

-----

Ulquiorra hit the ground standing, skidding on his heels and looking up at Sora Inoue as he followed, snarling with bloodlust. Sensing energy beneath the sand- Ulquiorra thrust his talons into the mound, gripping bone and yanking it to the surface.

Another creature like them was revealed, shrieking in horror. With a hard twist and yank- Ulquiorra broke off one of its porcelain horns and pressed it to the side of his skull.

Bone weaved and connected itself, it's twin building on the other side of his head until large horns appeared. They struck out towards the heavens- in time for Sora's body to impale itself upon them mid-leap. The horns pierced through tough scales, causing him to cry out loudly.

Ulquiorra's gaze brightened, something collecting into his index finger. Raising it, he needed only to let instinct click into place, before black energy burst forth. It consumed Sora Inoue's form, sending him sailing away and hitting the ground with a heavy slam, arms lulling at his sides.

This time he did not rise.

Orihime trembled from where she stood, slowly padding over the sands and approaching the body.

It trembled and shook a little, coughing. Her hand flew to her mouth, tears collecting in her eyes.

The mask had broken in half, revealing her brother's face beneath it.

"I-I'm sor...ry...sis..." blood curdled, escaping the corner his mouth. He coughed, some drops landing at her feet. A gaping, singed hole from Ulquiorra's power had devastated his chest, leaving his arms and neck barely connected to his torso.

Orihime knelt next to him, leaning down and hugging his lifeless jaws.

When she heard footsteps approaching behind her, the girl turned, cheeks stained with tears. Her eyes were hazy as she looked at the thick black tear marks on his own morbid face. The hollow hole on his chest now gaped wider, what looked like black oil spilt out from it to leak down his chest and abdomen. With the new addition of nightmarishly large horns, Orihime felt drenched in the shadow of a predator once more.

Instead of fearing for her soul, all that wobbled out was: "Why...did I imagine something so terrible?"

Those irises had leaked into blazing gold, scleras dark green. His tail whipped out, sliding around her waist and yanking her to stand, pulling her against him.

"Does it not occur to you, woman, that this may be real?"

Orihime shuddered, pale and cold. His taloned fingers were biting and hard on her waist. It hurt. She wasn't sure what was real or fantasy anymore. The things she'd imagined had always comforted her from the pains of reality, and yet they wounded her now?

Biting back a whimper, she steadied herself against him, palm resting against his abdomen when she suddenly noticed it. Wet, dripping noises coming from his right side. Orihime shifted and gasped, seeing nothing but a stump for a right arm. Black blood trickled from it.

"Ulquiorra! Y-you're hurt," she shakily switched gears.

His steady, penetrative gaze slid down to it. "Yes. Seems I couldn't follow your orders. It doesn't matter, I can-"

"No this is terrible!" She fussed, moving around him, hands fluttering up. "Oh no...this is all my fault," she grit her teeth, shuddering violently.

"The fault lies in my second of hesitance."

It didn't matter what he said, she wasn't listening, his calm voice a dull roar. Light sparked from her fingers, an orange glow hovering over the space his arm used to occupy.

Ulquiorra's eyes widened, attention ensnared. Gradually, bone, skin and fur collected from thin air and reconnected. They solidified into his arm, muscles rejoining. When the light died, he flexed his sharp fingers. Good as new.

"You can regenerate," he quietly mused.

"I-I guess so," she croaked, gaze dulled as she turned to look at the fallen body of her brother. "I just imagined fairies over it and the light followed. This is...so confusing."

His tail tightened around her waist. "You're like me," he said in a soft monotone.

Orihime raised her head to look at him, flesh ghostly pale. She slowly drew in close and slid her arms around his waist, hugging him.

Those deadly hands rested on her lower back, dragging up her spine and causing the girl to shiver. She was aware of him smelling her hair, but felt no disgust from it. "I need to heal him," she murmured, drawing away and gently prying his tail off around her hips.

Kneeling once more, the orange light spread over the gaping hole in her brother's chest. When it faded, his inhuman flesh shivered, a groan sounding out. Orihime gave a tremulous smile, recalling their argument as she touched her hairpins.

"I'm sorry, please be safe, brother," the words she'd wanted to say all those years ago flowed out.

Returning to Ulquiorra's side, she rubbed at her cheeks and took a steadying breath.

"Let's go home."

He considered this for a moment. "...Did you do everything you came here to?"

Hands drew into loose fists at her sides, "no," her voice wobbled. "But I guess this is what happens when you try to live life backwards. Try as I might, and no matter how happy I was..." she glanced at Sora. "I-I can't go back to those days at the summer house anymore."

The dead trees, sand dunes and crescent moon in the sky were the only witnesses to their silent departure. By the time Acidwire had drawn himself up, the mask over his face restored, Orihime and Ulquiorra were gone.

----

Everything lay quiet and undisturbed in the apartment as they entered. Ulquiorra had to break his horns in half, lest they scrape the ceiling. Orihime broke away from him and shakily made her way to the shower in her ensuite, disorientated. After stripping, she sat under the spray for what felt like an hour, legs going numb. Disengaged from her body, Orihime rested her cheek against the glass.

All at once however, she realised Ulquiorra wasn't with her. Panic erupted in her chest, and she stumbled out, grabbing a towel and half-heartedly drying herself. Changed clothes in her bedroom, she hurried out in her nightgown.

She stopped half-way to the couch upon bumping her nose into a pale chest. Glancing up, she found his eyes had yet to return to emerald green hues, remaining watchful, bright, burning gold.

"You're still here," rushed out, a sigh of relief soon following.

"Naturally."

Feeling a little silly now, Orihime brushed damp hair behind her ear. Seeing his steady, expectant look, a lightbulb went off in her head. "Oh...right!" She forced a smile, squeezing his arm. "What was it you wanted in return?"

Dark lashes dropped slightly, stare becoming half-lidded. It took her a moment to realise Ulquiorra was staring at her mouth. That gaze then slid down, fixing on a certain spot that his fingers soon rested against.

Orihime swallowed, feeling talons drag over the material of her night-gown, the pads of his fingers a hard pressure against her chest.

"My heart?"

He stroked the area with an almost reverent, yet firm touch. "I lack one, and yours is elevated above all other humans."

She became quiet, not screaming or running away, though he hadn't expected her to. The woman was strong. Her heartbeat drummed a little faster, but not at break-neck speed like those others he'd harvested limbs or organs from.

Emboldened by her lack of aversion to his touch, his free hand found her cheek. Claws dragged lightly over her chin, cool digits soaking up the warmth beneath them. "You won't resist?"

It pleased him immensely when she leaned into his hand. "You're so silly," came the faint mumble. "Or maybe it's my fault, for not teaching you everything you'd need to know about humans. I was a child though."

Fire spouted into his palm the moment soft lips brushed against it, heat blooming up his wrist. "There's more than one way to hold a person's heart in your hand. Not everything has to be literal."

Ulquiorra backed her up into the wall until her spine protested. His nose brushed against hers as he inhaled her exhale. "You're referring to sentimental emotion, aren't you? But there's no physical proof the metaphorical heart you speak of exists."

"The proof is in what humans feel for each other," she said softly. "What I feel for you."

Slit pupils thinned. His body became rigid.

"...Ichigo Kurosaki," he reminded her stiffly.

Something conflicted entered her gaze, honest as ever. "Ichigo is...like the summer house," she murmured. "I like him. I've always...liked him, but he doesn't see me, and I don't even know what would happen if he suddenly wanted me. The idea of him has always been so comforting. But what I imagine and want, it's just my idea of him. A prince on a white horse instead of his usual stubborn, short-tempered self. I know that. I've always...known that. But he was something nice to imagine, so that I didn't feel so alone."

Ulquiorra's wings unfolded, hands finding her thighs and hooking beneath them, lifting, forcing her legs to wrap around his waist. His breathing hitched, nose and lips finding her neck and gliding without really pressing down. He hovered on the precipice of something that threatened to ruin him.

"How do you know I'm not like the summer house?"

"Because I see you clearly now," she muttered. And it was there. It was there. His reflection glinted in those silver eyes. The first pair he'd ever looked into. "You...your wings, your tail, your tongue...I understand now, I got it when I saw you rip those horns off that creature and put them on yourself. You didn't get those other features from me, but you had to get them from somewhere, just like how you wanted my heart."

The image of him wavered and swam, waterlogged by tears. "I'm sorry I didn't help you live as a human. I could have given you a normal life."

"I'm not human," he uttered. "And any life with you wouldn't be normal. We have curry and wasabi together, topped with strawberries."

Orihime burst into a tearful giggle, smiling at him.

Ulquiorra leaned in, unable to hold back anymore, mouth crashing to hers. It was clumsy and hard, and to his surprise, she yielded after a brief noise. She coaxed his lips to move against hers, something wet and soft hesitantly sliding against his dark upper lip. Slowly, he opened his mouth, tongue meeting and brushing against her own.

Claws nicked at the sensitive skin of her thighs, and Orihime jolted- hips bucking. It caused a groan to hiss out, tail sliding, winding around her chest and squeezing the air from her lungs. Her breath puffed out and he gulped it down, kissing her hungrily.

"Your skin is soft…"

Ulquiorra's hair caressed her collarbone, causing Orihime to shiver in his arms. Her cheeks reddened as an appealing scent floated into the air that he hadn't smelled before. He broke away from the kiss slightly, "tell me what you're feeling."

"N-no!" She gasped, face scarlet. Ulquiorra dragged his lips down her neck, palm sliding to set on her navel and teasing lower. "The scent is coming from down here. Show me.." he breathed, nipping her ear.

When she shook her head again, teeth tugging on her plump bottom lip, he sank to his knees and dragged her down with him. Orihime squeaked as she was turned, falling backwards- landing not on the cool hardwood floor but cushioned by leather. Wings shifted beneath her back as she was laid down, the creature leaning over her and impressive wingspan rising up, containing them in their own personal cacoon that blocked out almost all light.

Clawed hands came up to settle on her hips, before one smoothed under her thigh, lifting her leg up for a better angle as he leaned down. Orihime made a noise of surprise, squeezing startled eyes shut and rolling her hips instinctively despite nothing pressing against her yet.

"You're unexpectedly wanton," his monotone sounded lighter, almost as though amused.

Her nightgown was hitched and yanked up, leaving her bare sex exposed and vulnerable.

He experimentally drew his tongue out and licked the glistening folds, soon sucking on her clit, talons biting into the nightgown. Gasping, Orihime threw her head back, arching into his mouth. Her ankles locked behind his head as frantic hands descend to black locks. Ulquiorra started and paused, unused to such a place being touched. His hair slid like soft feathers through her fingers, and ultimately he continued sucking, grunting quietly and shoving his tongue inside her. The woman in his grasp makes a curious noise, hips bucking up.

He watched her almost obsessively from his position, waiting for the moment she begged him to stop. The scent was impossibly strong, an intoxicating taste coating his tongue.

"Please, more," she whispered, startling him. For once, Ulquiorra disobeyed, leaning back and away from her sex and touch, dark satisfaction curling inside him as she made a weak noise of protest. His tail brushing up against her clit instead, sliding between her legs. Orihime didn't notice, too consumed by the sensations. The firm glide of his tail became a harder pressure against her sex, rubbing.

His hand slid up her torso to cup a full breast, barred from complete touch her clothing. "...It's firmer than I thought," he tilted his head slightly, squeezing with perhaps too much force. Her body sang beautifully with its honest reactions, her groan signalling her enjoyment as she rocked her hips against the pressure of his tail.

"I'm so close..." Orihime whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut tight. Grabbing his horns without seeming to think about it, she writhed and squirmed like a woman possessed. It made a low rumble build in the back of his throat.

Careful hands became impatient- tearing the material over her chest. A hungry mouth clamped over her breast, sucking and sinking blunt teeth in, causing her to spout gibberish, words and moans blurring into one another. Fur slid against her hips and navel, parting her legs wider as his tail rubbed quicker, gliding on the outskirts of her folds and flicking against her clit.

Writhing for a few moments longer, a loud cry filled the room, pressure snapping like a string. Her back arched, core quivering. Ulquiorra watched with undisguised fascination, sucking at the wound on her flesh.

The thin tail coiled, pulling away and coated in her wetness. Ulquiorra lifted his head and licked it clean with a swipe of his tongue, witnessing the moment her eyes cracked open and registered what she'd done. Orihime flushed deep red, glaring a little in her embarrassment. His lips twitched, rubbing his knuckles against her sex in reward.

Orihime panted, letting hazy eyes slide shut as she took in a few breaths. He then leaned over her, impossibly close. Those slit pupils pinned her in place the second she met his gaze.

"So this is lust..."

He braced his weight on one hand, the tail suddenly gripping her around the waist lifting, causing her back to arch, head dipping back.

Orihime sat up instead, fighting it- wrapping her arms about his neck. "May I touch you?" She asked quietly.

Vague surprise flit over his face, hand coming up dazedly to rest against her heart. It thrummed strong and sure against his palm. His touch then glided up, lifting claws to her cheek and touching the soft skin there.

Ulquiorra looked at her hands. "I haven't been touched before, not by anyone else except you."

He grasped her under her thighs and lifted her onto his lap as he sat on his heels, feathers and fur caressing her under her thighs.

"Me neither," she whispered like it were a closely guarded secret. She then smiled, causing him to blink. That smile brought him back down to earth. He held Orihime Inoue in his arms, hollow hole pulsing and aching with all that that meant, and for a few blind moments of pleasure, he'd forgotten how much that really meant to him.

Orihime kissed him on the lips, running a hand down his back to stroke the fur. His muscles tensed under her touch but soon relaxed. He dipped his head to her shoulder, just resting his forehead there a second, inhaling. Catharsis washed over him, arms tightening around her.

She felt so good.

Her needy hips squirmed against his, dragging one hand down his chest, the other lacing their fingers together, palms intimately meeting as she kissed down his neck. He inhaled sharply, the power seeming to make her giddy. It was a very nice sensation, having someone respond to your touch. Orihime experimentally sucked on the skin of his collarbone, squeaking when he rut his hips up. Ulquiorra then lifted his head- catching her mouth with his own. Growing more adventurous with his tongue, he moved it against hers and brushed it inside her mouth, running it along her teeth and grunting.

Something hard started to rub in between her legs, now showing from under the furs. A shaky moan escaped her.

"Feeling you respond, I think I quite enjoy it," he said quietly, wings shifting behind her, the thin leathery feel of them slid against flushed skin. Silver eyes glanced down, widening a little at the sight that greeted her. Orihime reached down, grasping his cock, skimming lithe fingers over the skin.

Ulqiorra jolted and hissed, resting his cheek against hers and breathing out.

"Does it feel nice?" Came her innocent question, cupping the tip and smoothing her fingers around the shaft. He rutted up into her hand in response, shoving her down onto her back, wings cushioning her and completely enveloping her with himself.

"More," he breathed. She was happy to oblige, stroking him harder, enjoying his enjoyment of it in that usual selfless way of hers.

Golden eyes practically glow, staring at her. Her hand pumped his base, lips finding his throat and sucking. Ulquiorra shuddered, leaning his forehead down and grunting. His eyes widen at the sensation, hips shifting forward continually. Orihime made a small noise, quickening her strokes. Her thighs rubbed together needily, getting squirmy due to his rapid panting and low noises.

Blunt teeth clench, eyes squeezing shut- before they snapped open and he shifts his hips back to drag his erection out of her grasp. A second later, and her wrists were pinned above her head via his tail, a pale chest braced tightly against hers as his cock rubbed hard against her sex.

"We're starting now," he said in a harsh whisper of sound.

Orihime's mouth opened to encourage him- but twitching hips are already ramming forward, forcing his length inside her. Due to the wetness, he managed to slide in quite far, but soon her tightness had him stopping and panting. One of his hands gripped her under her thighs, the lower length of his tail manoeuvring to spread her leg out wider with her ankle hooked on it.

Their breath mingled, everything seeming to stop.

Orihime's lips were frozen mid-gasp, eyes wide. Nothing to quell the invasive, full sensation. Sweat broke out on her forehead, which he caught on his lips, kissing it away.

The oddly sweet gesture had her smiling weakly. "I thought..." she gently panted, bucking her hips experimentally, "that we were starting."

Ulquiorra snaps his hips forward again the second those words were out, managing to thrust deeper. He liked the sounds of her moans he decided, watching as her eyes flew wide, head tossing back. Her full breasts bounced, damp, auburn hair clinging to her skin.

His tongue brushed along her bottom lip as he thrust, before pressing his mouth hard against hers. She suckled his tongue, arms straining against the tight clasp of his tail wound around her wrists. She moved her hips with him.

"Harder," she pleaded against his mouth, a mindless order. If she weren't drugged on pleasure she'd be blushing like a maiden. Ulquiorra panted, her demand only serving to heighten his lust. Grabbing her hips, he angled them up, ramming his cock inside her so that the full length sheathed inside. Her subsequent loud cries only encouraged his ferocity.

His clawed toes dig harsh rivets into the wood of the floor as he nipped her lips, moaning. Rosy lips press against his again, and Ulquiorra realises that his right hand is still being held captive, had been all that time. Her fingers squeezed over his, watery eyes remaining locked with his.

The creature had to fight the urge to utterly and completely consume her.

His clawed hand cupped her breast, sharp nails digging in slightly to the soft mound as he squeezed, rubbing a thumb against her nipple and leaving red scratches on her flesh. He drank in her moaning and high, keening sounds, their kisses becoming sloppy as he thrust erratically, harsh slapping sounds filling the room. The black fur and feathers of his lower half had become soaked from their combined juices.

Her wanting tongue licked against his, a string of saliva connecting them. "Please, Ulquiorra, more," she whimpered, eyes hazy.

"Your greed will be your undoing, Woman." He let out a groan, eyes darkening. He suddenly grabbed her hair and tugged it back, slamming inside her quicker and quicker. Orihime screamed, feeling his length hit a sweet spot deep inside her.

He has no scruples about slamming harder into her, his hips hitting her own with the ferocity of his thrusts before gnashing his teeth together, making a low noise as he released, shuddering. Orihime soon followed, crying out and trembling against him, legs going slack around his waist.

"You...you came inside," she murmured dazedly.

"If you're r-referring to the orgasm and possible procreation, I think it's unlikely," he muttered, catching his breath, lips brushing her neck. "There is nothing else like me," he thought of Acidwire and those other creatures in the dunes. Maybe there were similar things, but whatever he was, Ulquiorra did not think he was meant to feel this way.

"...You're not alone though. I don't think there's anything else like m-me either. I don't know what I am."

Ulquiorra blinked and shifted back. It felt somewhat like torture to pull away from her, the loss of heat almost unbearable. He hated the sting, that he knew no cave would ever be a comfort from the rain again. His tail released her wrists, leaving purplish, tender rings."I suppose you're right," he said, back to his monotone voice. Black wings slid out from beneath her, folding behind him as the creature lifted her against him and crawled onto the bed, placing her on it. "Or perhaps you're exactly what I thought you were when I first saw you. My creator."

"But you're real."

"It doesn't change your part in my quality of existence," he said, making to go. The bed was her space.

Orihime grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him down, cradling him to her. "Don't leave," she mumbled tiredly, eyes already slipping shut. "Whatever we are, I know that you're the only thing left that makes sense to me."

Ulquiorra stiffened, head pillowed to her chest as he glanced up at her. "Never mind your species or powers, I don't understand you," he said slowly but settled against her, body sprawled against the soft curves and dips of the woman's body as she quietly giggled.

For once, Ulquiorra drifted into sleep first, lulled by her fingers stroking through feather-soft hair. Giving an extinguished sigh, the creature surrendered himself to her.

---

When the first rays of the morning sun crept through the bedroom blinds, a thin rectangle of light fell over Orihime's lids, urging them to crack open. Wincing, she raised her arm so that it blocked out the harsh blaze. Glancing down at the weight on her chest and stomach, her eyes briefly widened, before gentling.

Orihime hugged the man closer, smoothing her hand over the filled expanse of flesh where a hollow hole had once been.

End

[moirai-au]

11. “Oh god, you’re bleeding” 10. “Please, don’t leave me alone” Anti

Timeline: middle of Arc 3: Aster, a few weeks after he gets his human body.

Warnings: blood, serious injury

@immabethehero @bupine​ @tabbynerdicat @i-maybe-exist @its-ethan-bro @sandinthetardis @honestlyitsjustkenna

Oliver knew of Aster’s weird views on pain; he apparently found it hilarious, being so different than the kind of pain his original body had known, back in his own realm. He and Mars often had to keep an eye on the fiend, or else they’d find him ‘playing’ with a kitchen knife or banging his head against a wall.

Hence why the subject of ‘Aster-proofing’ the mansion had come up a few times lately.

And whenever he went out -despite all their efforts to stop him- he always came back beaten and bloody, a manic, sharp-toothed smile on his tumefied face. Ollie had lost count of how many times they’d dragged the insane demon into Cecil’s new improvised office, the doc looking absolutely done every time.

But today was different. It looked like Aster had pissed off the wrong thug this time around.

The demon was lying prone at the end of an alleyway, hissing and snarling at him in warning. His black shirt was damp, his hands stained with blood.

Ollieie marveled at the sheer luck of the encounter; he’s been on his early evening patrol when he’d spotted the fiend’s writhing form in a dark alleyway. The vigilante usually would’ve left to his own devices -that deranged asshole- but the fact that Aster wasn’t masking his more, inhumane features had tipped him off to the fact that something was seriously wrong.

Ollie frowned, kneeled down next to the fiend. “Jesus, that’s a lot of blood. Did you take the knife out?”

“What if I did?”

“That was a stupid move. Now you’re gonna bleed out!”

Aster growled, curling up tighter around the stab wound on his stomach; his pitch black arms wrapped around his midsection, sharp claws digging into his sides. He’s reverted back to his base form a few minutes prior, not having the strength to keep up his disguise.

Physical pain had been new and strange for him, having been inhabiting this human-ish construct only for a few weeks. He’s been seeking out the thrill of novelty, the high than came with the sharp pain of a cut or the throbbing, dull ache of a bruise.

But this? This was too much. His body felt heavy as lead, compromising his ability to move around. He couldn’t think, couldn’t analyse, couldn’t parse the flow of information coming from his abused nerves. And he hated it.

This pain wasn’t fun. It was excruciating.

“Couldn’t leave it in,” he hissed, “Would’ve healed around it, and then it would’ve been a bitch and a half to remove.”

Ollie swore, fishing his phone out of his pocket and typing something rapidly. Aster stayed prone on the ground, twitching and hissing every so often as his healing factor kicked it, slow, frustratingly slow. Blood kept leaking out of the wound, forming a growing puddle under the demon, staining his clothes and pallid skin.

“There,” Ollie said, putting his phone away before reaching out to Aster. “I texted the doc, he’s on his way. Now we gotta-”

“Dont fucking touch me!” the imp sneered at the red-clad vigilante, scooting back against the wall. “I don’t need the good doctor’s help. I told you, I can regenerate.”

“Does your healing factor replenishes your blood too?”

Aster stayed silent, his black and acid green eyes burning holes into Ollie’s skull. The hero tsked. “Didn’t think so. Now if you won’t let me help, take this,” he handed a large piece of cloth to the injured fiend, “and press on the wound, hard.”

The demon stayed still for a few seconds, eyes darting between the human’s face and the cloth. Finally, he snatched it out of the vigilante’s hand and shoved it against his stomach, using both of his hands to press it in. The pain spiked again, drawing a yowl of agony from his throat, and for a split second all he could see was darkness.

He came back to a very startled-looking hero shaking him, his hands and hoodie smudged with dark crimson. He felt dizzy and nauseous, he noted with disgust; stupid fleshy human body. So fucking fragile and weak.

“Hey!” Ollie snapped his fingers in front of his face, catching his attention again. He let out a breath when he saw Aster’s eyes open blearily, acid green orbs among a sea of black. “Good, you’re still here. I thought you just up and died or something.”

“Why do you even care?” the imp drawled, slurring slightly; he really was out of his depth here, as much as he hated to admit it. ”You hate me.”

“I don’t like you, that’s for damn sure.” the human scoffed. “You stole my friend’s body and made me do a freaky ritual that you knew could’ve killed me.”

“I told you you could do it,” Aster smirked through the pain, “and that was the truth. You never asked me what would happen if you did.”

“A lie of omission is still a lie!”

“I beg to differ. I never lied to you, you humans are just stupid.”

“Fucking hell,” Ollie groaned, running a hand through his lime-colored hair. “You’re such a dick. Do you want me to leave you bleeding out here?”

“Why aren’t you?!” Aster snapped, annoyed and aggravated by the human’s illogical behavior. “You know the terms of our Deal. Nothing in it is binding you to do a damn thing to help me, so why?”

Ollie tilted his head, unfazed by the imp’s anger. “Because I’m a hero!” he said, his chest puffing up with pride. “And heroes don’t leave anyone behind. Even narcissistic assholes like you.”

Aster blinked, dumbfounded. He let out a sharp, mocking “HA!” before coughing, a few specks of blood landing on the ground next to him. “That was the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Doesn’t make it less true.” the red-clad hero shrugged. A chime from his pocket diverted his attention; he grabbed his phone once more, glancing at the screen. “Ah. Cecil texted back,” he explained, sitting back against the wall a few feet from the injured demon. “He’ll be here in five with some spare blood. Don’t know where he got it, not gonna ask. Think you can hang on ‘til then?”

“…I’ll be fine,” Aster croaked out, “you can hang around. But if you come any closer I will rip out your throat, Deal or no Deal.“

“Is that your way of asking me to stay?”

“Fuck you.”

“Bitch.”

[aion-rsa]

The Teleprompter Interview: Katy Wix ‘My First Screen Crush was King Kong’

https://ift.tt/33I5zd9

“Anchors, rigging, shackles,” lists Katy Wix down the phone, “poop deck, wheelhouse, three sheets to the wind…” The comedian and writer has had a productive year. Filming wrapped on Ghosts series two just as UK lockdown began. Since then, she’s finished one book – Delicacy: A Memoir – due out next April, is pitching another, writing a TV show, and thanks to a new-found obsession with Netflix yacht-based reality show Below Deck, has also managed to acquire an enviable grasp of nautical terminology. 

Wix is an established UK comic actor, with credits across the board, starting with cult hit Time Trumpet and going mainstream as witless, lovable Daisy in BBC mega-sitcom Not Going Out. She’s currently part of Channel 4’s Stath Lets Flats, the hottest comedy around, fresh from multiple Bafta wins. She plays Fergie in royal satire The Windsors, and was among the comedian-contestants in series nine of Taskmaster. In BBC One sitcom Ghosts, Wix plays Mary, a 17th century yokel burned as a witch and now part of the motley group haunting a modern-day stately home. Mary’s distinctive west country accent “just came out”, says Wix. “It’s an insult really, because I can’t claim to do that accent well. It’s sort of a stock noise. The more I do it, the more I think it sounds like Nanny from Count Duckula. Ducky!”

Ghosts series two, which lands as a boxset on BBC iPlayer on Monday September 21st , will give fans more about Mary’s background, says Wix. “I think people will really love it, and then there’ll be another series next year, depending on the big C. Not cancer. The other big C.”

From superyachts to Alan Partridge, The Day Today to Ghostwatch, Anna from This Life to formative sexual fantasies about prehistoric apes… here’s the Katy Wix Teleprompter interview.

Your parents were quite arty, working in dance companies and the theatre. Did your childhood allow for much TV watching?

Oh my god, yes! My routine was: come home from school, watch the tail-end of Fifteen to One, and when I was really young, repeats of The Oprah Winfrey Show. Then it would be The Broom Cupboard, something like Round the Twist, then the sound of the Six O’Clock News and turning over to The Simpsons. I still do it now, if I’m at home and it’s five to six, I’m going to watch The Simpsons, it’s a tradition.

Welsh telly was slightly different to the rest of the country. We have S4C rather than Channel 4. I remember going through the TV listings and seeing what was on normal Channel 4, like The Word, then I’d look at Welsh Channel 4 and it would just be something boring in Welsh at the same time.

Was there a TV show that inspired you to start acting and comedy?

The one I remember the most is Abigail’s Party. Seeing Alison Steadman’s performance made me want to do character acting. It was just a phenomenal, convincing, detailed performance. Years later, I wrote a radio sitcom that she was in. It was one of those absurd moments where you just have to leave your body and look down on yourself to be able to handle it. 

That must happen a lot, you’ve been part of a lot of great comedy casts…

What got me into comedy was Brass Eye and The Day Today. When I was about 15, that’s what changed my brain. It was the first time I’d seen adults being silly and coming up with absurd situations that were my sense of humour. Before that, comedy on TV would always feel like just something your parents would watch but this really felt like it was for us, for me and my friends. It was the same with The Office.

And then you were in This Time with Alan Partridge with Steve Coogan last year.

I was in sixth form when Knowing Me, Knowing You came out and I had it on VHS. Watching people like Rebecca Front and Doon Mackichan… anytime Alan had a guest on the sofa, the level of detail and all the reactions and the tiny little social awkward moments, that made me think I want to do that type of performing. So then, when I got to be in the last Partridge, it was mad. It was phenomenal to be that near to the character and all his tiny micro-expressions. Even the colour of his socks – this weird salmon pink – that was so perfect. Tim [Key] was there as well and we’re old pals, so that made it feel more like, well if Tim can deal with it. But I think even Tim now says he still has times where he has to go into the loo and give himself a moment.

Who or what was your first TV love?

This will sound like a joke, but I swear to God it’s true. It was a running joke in our family that my first crush when I was about four, was King Kong [laughs]. My mum used to tease me about it all the time. It was the combination of brute strength and these massive, soulful, pained eyes – which I still look for in men – that absolutely got me. It was an erotic connection for me. When I look back on it in a Freudian way, it feels like a really obvious, very heterosexual image for a little girl to have, because I wanted to be that woman in the nightie in his massive hairy hand. 

Unusual, yes, but then a lot of people our age cite the fox in the Robin Hood Disney film as their first screen crush.

I do get that. I do get that. What was it about that fox?

He’s rakish. And politically, he was sound too – rob from the rich, give to the poor.

You’re right. And he was really confident too. 

Growing up, which TV character did you idolise?

There are two, a younger one and a slightly later one. When I was 11 or 12, I wanted to be a fashion designer. I would draw outfits all the time in my school books and I had the Usborne Book of Fashion Design and spend hours on it. So I wanted to be Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air because she just had incredible fashion. She always got boys and she was really cool and confident and wore amazing clothes. She was everything I wanted to be.

Then a little bit later, maybe sixth form or in my early 20s. I wanted to be Anna from This Life, so much and I kind of still do. Because she was tall and really cool and had dark hair and a lot of attitude and wore black a lot and smoked a lot and didn’t give a shit. That was my vibe at university. 

Is there a TV character you’d like to be now? 

Probably still Anna? 

Which TV show gave you nightmares?

The massive one for me, when I was about 11 or 12: Ghostwatch. I went to a friend’s house to watch it and I remember being a bit like ‘yeah right’ watching it, and then when I got home that night, I just cried. I was in the bath, hysterical and my mum had to come in and calm me down. It was horrendous. 

Everyone totally swallowed it at the time, because we were less TV-savvy in 1992. I remember they had a phone-in and someone called in to say ‘There’s a shape in the curtains’, which really fucked me up. The whole Pipes thing. I remember being in my bedroom and seeing a shape of an old man in the curtain all the time. I’ve got really vague memories of Craig Charles being in a park, saying that someone had killed a Labrador. I was thinking about watching it again. I actually don’t know if I dare. 

Read more

TV

50 best British comedy TV shows on Netflix UK, BBC iPlayer, Amazon Prime, NOW TV, Britbox, All4, UKTV Play

By Louisa Mellor

TV

Not Going Out: the top 10 episodes

By Philip Lickley

When did you last cry watching television?

Last night. Have you ever seen the show Below Deck? I’m obsessed with it. I’m not massively into reality TV but it’s an American reality show all filmed on superyachts that rich people charter. It’s almost like a perfect sitcom family – you have a different captain every time and the deckhands and then the interior, who do the hotel stuff, and then you have the chef, who’s always a temperamental big personality and then each episode has a different group of insanely rich, usually quite horrible, sexist people with loads of money who get really drunk, that’s the premise. It’s non-stop drama. You’re just watching people fall off boats and have arguments. 

How did it make you cry?

In this episode, there was a girl who’d been really quiet and grumpy and everyone was slagging her off, and then she revealed that she’d got a text that morning saying her estranged father had died, so that’s what set me off. It’s got me through lockdown, it’s so addictive. 

When did you last laugh out loud watching television?

Below Deck, same episode!

All human life is there!

I think it was someone’s malapropism, that’s my favourite thing about reality TV, the way people talk in a kind of Stath-like way and get it wrong.

What was the last TV show you recommended to a friend? 

Below Deck! [Laughs] I’ve just got Lolly [Adefope] onto it, and Adam Drake – he’s a comedian in a sketch show called Goose and does Capital, a podcast with Liam Williams – he’s now devoted. One of my best mates was bemoaning that her boyfriend’s not into reality TV, but boys can watch Below Deck too. It’s got loads of boat stuff in it. Chains and anchors. I’m learning all these terms, like shackles, poop deck, wheelhouse, three sheets to the wind… That’s where the expression ‘in my wheelhouse’ comes from. Three sheets to the wind means you’re sailing off course. 

Which TV show would you bring back from the dead?

Changing Rooms. 

Good call.

I also loved The Late Review. I really loved that.

What’s a TV show you wish more people would watch?

Do you know Iyanla Vanzant? She started off on The Oprah Winfrey Show – I love Oprah so much – and she’s a TV therapist/healer/spiritual. She’s got a show you can only get on American TV called Iyanla: Fix My Life. She just speaks so much wisdom. She spends a week with people who are really traumatised and it’s their healing journey. It’s so moving, it’s so profound. She’s doing incredible work for the human race.

She did an amazing show called, I think, ‘The Myth of the Angry Black Woman’ with a house full of women of colour who all got to talk about this trope that they were angry and how they felt unable to speak without being silenced. She did a show that was rehabilitating people that had come out of prison and women that had been sex workers all their loves, just amazing. 

Which current TV show do you never miss an episode of?

In lockdown, what kept me going was I May Destroy you, obviously, Below Deck, obviously. I also became obsessed with the Japanese Big Brother Terrace House, but it just got pulled because there was a suicide. It was so, so awful. I read an article saying the producers didn’t behave well, so I feel like I can’t like it any more. I love Succession too. I started watching this show on Netflix called Intervention and got totally obsessed with it. Again, it’s maybe ethically a bit dubious. It’s American, obviously, and they’ll film an addict who’s in a really desperate state and then the family kind of trick them, or persuade them to go into a room and then the intervention therapist is there and they’re like ‘Guess what, you’re going to rehab now!’ Anything that’s got human suffering, and then a redemption story in it, I’ll watch. 

Given the power, which TV show would you commission?

I think about this a lot – what if I had a channel? I’d commission the sketch group Sheeps to make tons of series. That’s Liam Williams, Al Roberts and Daran Johnson, and so far they’ve only done live shows, but I would commission them for hours of TV. Colin Hoult doing his character Anna Mann, I’d commission hours of that. Everyone involved in Stath Lets Flats, I’d just say ‘Turn up, pitch and we’ll make it’. There’s a documentary from the 70s that I adore, that I would like to show again, which is John Berger’s Ways of Seeing. It’s one of the most beautiful, gentle documentaries. I feel like that should be on TV. And just whatever Gemma Collins is doing, commission that. 

Also, you know in the 90s, late at night you’d get some weird, bizarre performance art happening on BBC Two? I miss that. The sort of stuff that was on after The Word. And then finally, maybe just all of Peep Show again? 

What’s the most fun you’ve had making television?

Ghosts is where I probably laugh the most because of Lolly [Adefope]. We make each other laugh all the time. When me and Anna [Crilly] did our sketch show on Channel 4, it was incredible. It was stressful but exciting. It was such a nice atmosphere to be with all these gorgeous people that you find funny. 

Stath Lets Flats is like that, because we’re all genuine mates. When people take comedy so seriously I really love it. I love that attention to detail. Jamie [Demetriou] and everyone involved really cares. There’s no ‘that’ll do’ attitude, everyone wants it to be the best it can be. Why not treat comedy as a science that you have to absolutely get right?

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Ghosts series two starts on Monday the 21st of September on BBC One at 8.30pm. All six episodes will be available to stream on BBC iPlayer from then. 

Delicacy: A Memoir by Katy Wix, published by Headline, is available to pre-order now.

The post The Teleprompter Interview: Katy Wix ‘My First Screen Crush was King Kong’ appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/32GM7ya