#every ep this drama gives me exactly what i want!!

[its-chelisey-stuff]

isn't it so crazy that this started because Sunjae fell in love with the girl next door, that a year later his words saved her life and she devoted herself to him to the point of going back in time to change his future and now we're here? ISN'T IT??

Excuse the Taylor Swift quote, but I can't help it: all along there was some Invisible string tying you to me

that was one hell of a kiss. Everything about it was so perfect. You could feel the love, the longing, the relief!! I'm so sad that only Sol will be able to remember it

Kdrama writers should take note of this (and really study it!) because if you want to talk about fated romance, destiny and all that, the bar has been set incredibly high after Lovely Runner. And all of it without even putting the actual words into the drama, because it doesn't need to: we know it. All you need is one look at how devoted Sunjae is after all this time and how he was willing to save her in every version of the past. And how Sol has been doing the same for him. They've been saving each other from the beginning. INSANE!!!

And something that amazes me, and I won't ever shut up about, it's the fact that in every version, it makes sense he never moved on from her. In the first timeline, his one-sided love ended up in one of the worst possible ways and that trauma consumed Sunjae for more than a decade. He was depressed, full of guilt and just fed up with everything. Maybe he wasn't contemplating ending his life, but he was desperate to get out of all the pain.

But then you have this new timeline, where Sunjae remembers them being friends, that kiss on the pool, their dates, her crazy antics, and all the sweetness that outweighs the bad memories. And it's thanks to Sol.

I was surprised she told him about her fears and why she was at his house in the middle of the night. And I loved that he reassured her, telling her he was okay and that he had no depression or anything. He wasn't angry or thought she was over the top. They communicated and aaafghjdfgh I wish we could have stayed in this timeline! because it was soooooo good. He still liked singing and acting. He loved his life. And so did Sol. But it was too good to last.

Bonus to keep me from crying about the ending of the ep: Sunjae being down bad for Sol after 15 years.

*tries not to cry and fails* SUNJAEEEEE!!! WHY???

Shut up, Inhyuk! It's not pathetic! This is a drama so it's romantic.

[matan4il]

911 ep 701 first watch reactions

(I don't think I have the energy to write proper Buddie meta, so here's me randomly squealing instead...)

LMAO In case you were wondering whether s7 of 911 will be subtle about their gratitude/debt to ABC for saving the show, the answer is a resounding no.

Also, I have lost a lot of respect for Frank as a shrink, but gained a lot of love for him as a sass king. "Did she win!?" The murderous look Athena gave him was priceless. I love her, too. She doesn't even need words to rule.

Man, nooooo. Don't give me a mutual "I love you" between Bobby and Athena like that.

"Go ahead and cut the green wire." Everyone and their sister: "Green? You said Red."

9-1-1 is the superior comedy they slipped into our drink, while we were here for our weekly action, suspense, drama and familial love.

Buck broke off with Natalia, and the show really did it like that. XD Every single person who rolled their eyes at this pairing during s6, we were all justified, but wow. The show really is the only forum to respect the pair even less than fandom does. And of course we find out about it in the middle of a scene built around Eddie being half naked, Buck watching him, with the camera specifically turning so we can discover Buck was initially covered by Eddie's body, and the angle change reveals him, when the whole thing wraps up with Eddie welcoming Buck back to the land of the living... Yeah, wonder what made Buck feel alive again. Don't know. 'Tis a mystery. We were given zero clues...

"I want the honeymoon life." *cries* Chimney is just such a good, good man. And okay, expecting your whole life to be a honeymoon's a bit unrealistic, but Madney are living together and they have a child. They know this. Chim knows this, but he still wants to go for it. Aim for the moon, you'll at least land among the stars, right?

Bobby baffled by Athena's reaction to Norman and Lola is hilarious.

I like how Chim has a great idea, but it's still obvious that it's gonna go wrong, because he can't help going overboard with it...

OMG, that scene with Eddie recounting to Buck what Christopher's date was like... If I were to write my Buddie meta, I would serve a three course meal just from that. I mean, the fact that watching Chris hanging out with a girl he likes, makes Eddie compare it to "hanging out with his guy friends" (when there's no lack of interest in this girl... in fact, it turns out that if anything, Christopher's problem is the opposite of a lack of interest) is so telling. There's a reason why that's where Eddie's mind went.

But then also... Eddie's trust in Buck got to me, the way he went to his best friend (not his own gf) for help with Chris. But that was still played with half a smile. But then Buck sort of disses himself jokingly, and Eddie won't have it. "You didn't end up like you." He sees how Buck worked on being a better person, even when Eddie wasn't there for the worst of it, and he appreciates it, and won't let Buck forget it. Meeeep. I love them.

Oh Chim. I was giving you so much credit, and then you went and bought that outdoors jacuzzi. lol Still love him. That's what Maddie's reminding herself of right now, too. ;p

Poor Hen, she was great in this ep, but none of it was really about her, she was comic relief, both with Chim and with the red wire. Then again, she was amazing in this, like she always is with everything.

Eddie and Buck were both so good with Chris this ep, MY HEART. Buck with getting him to talk about what's really bothering him, and Eddie with realizing exactly what his son needs, and how to give it to him. They completed each other. Neither one would be helping Chris without the other one. Tell me again how they're not soulmates?

In conclusion, I love Bobby saying, "Let's go prove one of us wrong," when they're both right. Something WAS going on with Norman and Lola, AND Athena was using them to avoid him.

Argh. That scene of the ship and its passengers being hijacked was rough to watch. </3 I'll still be here to watch the conclusion of this. That's the power of 9-1-1 for you.

It def felt like a great kick to the new season. We had lots of comedy and fun, some great tension, some emotional moments (especially with Christopher), but all in all, it's still clear that the whole thing's a build up to next week. Are you excited?

[vypridae]

You seem to be the only one making brokerdoll (thanks for the ship name btw) content, and I wanted to know if you have any more headcannon s, or just general thoughts on the ship. I'm starved for content

okay a. you are so welcome for the ship name i shit you not i spent like ten minutes just being like WHAT DO I CALL THEM because i couldn't figure out a word that would go well with "doll" (as velvette's ship names tend to have in them)

ANYWAY!! HEADCANONS !! i had a post uuuh here (that took me so much longer to find than it should have) of some hcs but here are some more!! (if this took forever to get out i apologize my brain is working at 2 wpm rn and sometimes thinking of hcs is hard)

after they started dating, carmilla starts buying velvette clothes she sees that she thinks velvette will love

spoiler alert: every single piece she buys for vel is exactly her style

i like to imagine carmilla is pleasantly rich, even in comparison to the other overlords, because her weapons and parts and whatnot just sell super well

so she gets so much money to spoil velvette with and she UTILIZES it

velvette's love language i imagine is acts of service or getting gifts (she knows they love her when they get her stuff) and carmilla's is gift giving, which neither of them seemed to realize until velvette literally squealed in joy when carmilla bought her a jewellery set she'd been wanting for FOREVER

also since singing is apparently just a canon thing in the hazbin universe, i cannot for the life of me stop imagining pre-relationship velvette sneaking vox's camera footage from inside carmilla's bunker(?) (of which he got velvette, conveniently, to put there after the overlord meeting) onto her phone just to listen to carmilla sing over and over and over again.

vox and val HAVE walked into her room to see her with her phone sitting on her dresser, watching the same footage of carmilla singing out for love for the 138147985th time

(they don't question it because lets be real they have their obsessions too)

post-relationship, velvette probably posts a bunch of fake online drama about her and carmilla because she thinks its funny to see people being like OMG??? WHAT NO WAY

carmilla is like "cariño why are you posting that we broke up. again." and velvette is like "just for funsies, babe <3"

velvette probably ends up showing carmilla how to use social media because let's be so fr she probably has no clue

velvette loves running her fingers through carmilla's hair and probably has just as much fun actually doing it up as carmilla has with velvette's

painting nails ?? carmilla paints velvette's and paints little white swirl designs over the black polish and velvette draws cute little pink hearts on carmilla's

(yes, they do both get questioned about it)

velvette probably wanted to start a friends w/ benefits (or enemies with benefits) relationship with carmilla but she knew for a fact carmilla would deny INSTANTLY

ok look they aren't married but matching rings ... carmilla wears hers as a necklace and velvette shows off her ring (that she keeps saying is "marriage proposal material" when its not) to literally everyone forever

possessive carmilla? only slightly. she glares daggers and probably throws said daggers at anyone who tries anything to velvette

pre-relationship velvette pining she progressively started sitting closer and closer to carmilla during meetings until she was in the chair next to her like zestial is during ep 3

(she lies out her ass and says it's "so i can annoy her easier, obviously" but she's just gay)

(carmilla starts noticing when velvette starts arriving to meetings earlier rather than later so she can get the seat she wants)

also velvette probably ended up convincing staticmoth to stay away from overlord meetings specifically so they can't tease her for being head over heels in hate-love with carmilla when she's in the same vicinity as her (of which they agree with because its more time for them to do What Ever The Fuck Their Gay Asses Do)

(also vox has cameras set up at the meeting room)

(guess who gets teased to heaven and back by two (2) overlords when she gets home)

(they both know the struggles of a weird obsession with another demon, they know how to poke and prod at velvette until she admits her gayness to them)

they probably ended up convincing her to confess tbh

(which doesnt happen for Several Years, probably)

either that, or carmilla finds a letter on her chair in the meeting room signed "~V" and opens it and it just says "we should be homos" or something stupid like that AJHAKASHJ

firm hc that velvette cannot confess for her fucking life . she doesnt like being vulnerable

lucky for her, carmilla 100% sends back a letter thats signed with "C. Carmine" and says "We can date, if that's what you mean by "being homos"" or something HAHAHASGFJ

[eldaryasharbinger]

MCL New Gen Ep 4 Review

I played the episode on early access so now it's review time! Like last time, I'll give a more generic and spoiler free opinion and leave all the spoilers below the cut!

First thing I want to say is that this might be my favorite episode so far, I've gasped in surprise A LOT while playing it, due to all the information we get to know about all the other characters, like there's a lot to unpack from this episode... I can't wait to hear what others will think of it when it's avaible to everyone!

The episode costed me exactly 1716 APs, uncle Archibald included! (I also finally found him and got the right answer! I forgot to look for him in ep 2 and 3 and missed taki's costumes :( )

So far I've only seen Jason's, Amanda's and Devon's illustrations so I'm really curious about the others. Amanda's is very very pretty and the special scene was soo good,, Devon's is pretty cute as well, I liked the idea and I wonder what the interaction was like!

Jason's kind of let me down, I didn't have much expectations and I'm not saying that it's bad, I just wish it was a little bit... more? Still the special scene was so good it fit the way I see Petronilla's personality/way of thinking if that makes sense?? Also I really enjoyed the story so me being low-key disappointed by illu is probably a me-only problem because it was perfect for the context

I'd say more but idk what others might consider spoilers or not so I'm playing safe and leaving all the other details below the cut, spoilers ahead! From the future: It's super long I really had so much to say, so if you're stopping here, remember to come back after playing the episode!

OKAY BUT THE GASP I GASPED WHEN I SAW LYNN?? Absolutely loved seeing her animated, or yk, seeing her in general! I wasn't really expecting it but I loved the surprise!

Also lmao not Thomas just telling Lynn that he loved her as a kid I WAS SHOCKED but simply because the possibility never crossed my mind... Consider my flabbers, gasted...

Like when I said we'd be learning a LOT about the others, I MEANT IT!! I didn't know how we'd even end up in the situation to talk about love and relationship with our coworkers in the first place (which was the premise of the episode) but it basically started after Thomas randomly revealed he loved Lynn as a kid, Elenda teasing him and him revealing (kind of) that she had a childhood crush on someone as well which is, well, DEVON!! It was so much because at that point anything could've happened... I was already so surprised and impressed by what was going on... BUT THEN !!

I love how everyone was going crazy about Roy and Brune being in a relationship when these two have been together for two weeks, never kissed, slept together or anything

And we just have to watch these two having a the realization and simply breaking up like it was nothing...

To be honest I didn't even find it strange or weird although the other characters were kind of annoying about it, and that just because they were so chill with it?? Like, not every break up has to be screams and tears idk, maybe I didn't find it strange because I've only had good breakups? (lots of heartbreaks from relationships that never even started too ofc) Like, once two people both agree that the love is gone/was never there or anything like that I think it's only normal for it to go ok? idk I found it very icky how literally no other character said anything like this, they were all shocked because of the lack of drama? Honestly, Brune is a queen for saying "go watch a soap opera if you want drama" lmao, I love her (unpopular opinion?)

Yeah you guessed it, I gasped AGAIN when Jason arrived at the café!

AND I GASPED AGAIN WHEN THOMAS SAID THIS??????? HELLOOOOOOO??????? LMAO IDEK WHAT TO SAY I'm on cloud nine y'all with how the story with Jason is going, I'm THRIVING, my brain is getting back into brainrot, like everything I could've wanted, like this kind of silly fanfic trope, I'm loving it

Okay Brune, ouch, but I still love you, you can call me anything lol

AND ELENDAAA!! SAME AS THOMAS !!! Yes keep saying these things as if we're teenagers/pos it's so so funny to me it gets me giggling and kicking my feet,, Like oooo he has a crush on you hehehehe hohohoho,, yeah I think it's the worms writing rn, they got control of my brain ;w;,

Okay so next, after we all saw Jason, we stayed on theme and Thomas started talking about how he follows him on insta in secret and how he's seen him with A LOT of women but never twice with the same one... then...

I kind of felt bad for him because seriously, they not only started talking about his private life, they were also saying bad things about him and were so judgemental, and I get not liking the guy but at the same time it felt uncalled? all he did was go to cozy bear cafe at the same time as us and he didn't even approach us,, come on y'all no one taught you how to behave?? There's this saying that basically says "don't speak about those who are not here to listen" or something like that and I believe in that, if I'm with people who start doing this I either stay shut or remind them that they're being mean, they're supposed to be adults but some of them really think in a rather "twisted" way, like Thomas for instance, he said that since Jason uploaded those pictures himself, it was public (therefore they were allowed to talk sh*t) and man... that's such a scary way to think (I'm not calling him a creep, I get why he might htink that way), I've already stated before that I'm very paranoid and knowing that some people actually think this way (with evil intentions) is the reason why I feel so scared to post anything online, I want my life to remain private,, (these are just my experience with the situation, I'm not trying to make it sound like a big deal it just made me uncomfortable because of my personal beliefs)

Imagine "poor" Jason going for a coffee and then finding your rivals gossiping about your love life etc, and honestly the fact that I like Jason so much isn't even important because I swear I would've felt compassion for him even if I hated him with all my guts... BTW I'm not complaining about the writing, the story was very intresting and I wouldnt've wanted for it to go any diffrent!! "But Kaf! How can you say you liked it if it made you uncomfortable?" you see, I'm a weirdo and got questionable taste, I love me a pityful, loser and not really evil character, this is only making me root for Jason more, as well as making me want to put him in my mouth (means nothing I say this about all things I like so much that I just feel like I have to eat them,,)

Now get ready because next up we have the answer to Candy's question "why do we hate Jason?"

Guys.

GIRLS.

Y'ALL.

HE'S EVEN MORE PITIFUL TO MY EYES THAN BEFORE, LITERALLY MY FAVORITE KIND OF CHARACTER!! THE UNSUFFERABLE, MISERABLE BUT ACTUALLY JUST VERY VERY SAD ONES!! (I have decided he's like this, just my interpretation/headcanon)

They werent even friends to begin with, Jason was just this random guy who worked there, probably done with his job he saw Devon's file and decided to Plagiarise and try to get a chance at a better job, got caught, fired and decided that he was now enemies with this other random guy as if he didn't literally steal from him because HE IS A SORE LOSER!!!!!!!! He's unsufferable on purpose, probably very very sad inside and he kind of showed that when he caught them talking sh*t because he looked very serioius, no smile or anything

today is a great day for me, because I've now decided that I'm 100% right and this is how the story goes for Petronilla's story, even if in the future we might a diffrent story, this is how it is in my mind :D!

I love how she's like "i'm just investigating the rival! I'm totally not zooming in on each and every picture!" she's so real this is 100% 'Nilla behaviour (me too)

This is Jason's illustration and now you can understand what I meant with "I wish it were more"

More than a picture of a picture on my phone!! It's still accurate so I can't really complain about it too much, in the end I think it's good to have different perspectives (Also how pretty is he... wow...)

Girl you're cooked

yeah well, in my head I've already estabilished that Jason saw that and that he'll be overthinking it so much or he'll be like "ha ha, of course she liked this picture of me on purpose to send me a sign, she wants me, but of course cause she can't resist my charm! no one can!" and then feel so confident etc (a loser)

Now let's fast forward to sharing a taxi ride with our beautiful Amanda!

do you want to kiss already or

LMAO THIS IS WHERE MY STUPID ASS THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS ASKING ME OUT

I don't even know why I thought that but with how things were going... the atmosphere yk... And yeah, I gasped about this too

;A;, (yes, that's all the commentary I have left)

The illu is so cute and I loved the outfit, just like last time I ended up buying the illustration becase the outfit was different for Jason... Although I think that this one is pefert for Petronilla! (I unlocked it in the shop with 150 hearts at the end of the episode)

aaand this for last! to back up one of my recent reblogs talking about how Amanda isn't that bad and had her reason to be upset (in case you had the party at your house, I didn't)

That's all and wow, it's a lot

[bengiyo]

23.5 Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

Last time, the gang decided to gussy up Ongsa for a school event, and we got to see her in traditional Thai clothing. Ton decided to help by stirring up Sun’s jealousy for some reason, as if Sun’s reticence were somehow the issue of the first half of the season. I enjoyed the few moments between Aylin and Luna. Sun eventually publicly declared that she wanted to be with Ongsa, so they are now girlfriends.

I’m with Aylin. She does look like a panda.

It’s taken us eight episodes to get to open mutual flirtation.

Episode 8: The Starry Night

Girl, Sun confessed to you in public. How are we supposed to keep this secret now? Did you talk to Sun about this?

Thank you, youths, for telling her off for this line of thinking.

I was chatting with @ginnymoonbeam earlier and do like that the drama of this week is “What even is dating?”

I am so invested in this teachers’ romance, you don’t even know.

YES, LIESTEN TO SUN. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HOMOPHOBES. THEY CANNOT DETERMINE HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES.

Ongsa, we have ridden with you for two months. She asked for the kiss. Do not let me down this week.

I love that Sun loves action films.

At least one GMMTV show isn’t pushing its pro-mosquito agenda.

Milk is very good at facial expressions.

This show is making me hope for my boy Mawin again.

Okay, Aylin, this was very cute. I like her calling back to the balled paper message.

I real like LOL’d at Mawin and Ton sliding in and out of this window.

Oh, Mawin, I feel for you. I wanted you to ask, but I get it.

All this bonding with Ton is not cutting down on my “Here’s How Euro Can Still Win” agenda.

Wow, Aylin, you got me, too.

That’s right, Luna. Teach her human things.

Chaoren’s rejection was great.

Well well well…HERE’S HOW EURO CAN STILL WIN…

How is it cold in Bangkok? Isn’t it like 80 F at night there?

Kissing with the glasses on? Huge win for lesbians and those who share their beliefs.

That chin grab? I see you, Ongsa.

Whyy are we introducing a separation next week with a study abroad program?

I like Milk and Love, but I don’t know that Love is being served well by this project. It feels like they don’t trust her as an actor and are leaning on Milk a lot. However, View and June are doing a great job together, and I loved the way AJ and Earn played their scenes. I am so invested in the Bambam and Nida story that I sit up every time they’re on screen. I feel like this show really struggled at building to the moments it wants to hit, but knows exactly when it wants us to hit them. It’s not bad, but it’s left me feeling rather unmoored along the way.

Alright, let’s talk about how Euro can still win! He didn’t get to kiss JJ in Dangerous Romance because JJ doesn’t kiss boys, he just teases about it. AJ, however, does! I am side-eyeing Tinh for always checking out athletic boys to the point that his friend finds it sinful, but being totally obvious about Mawin pining for him right next to him. It’s giving…no…I shan’t say…

[gizkasparadise]

2023 wrapped: cdrama edition!

taking a page from @dangermousie and doing an overview of all the cdramas i watched this year (i'll do one for kdramas later)! listed in order of least favorite to most favorite. favorite =/= objectively best/most well-made. just the ones i had the most fun watching.

15 have a crush on you. oh dear lord. this drama should be a case study for what happens when a bad drama has charismatic actors and they keep you trapped hostage. i watched this whole damn thing hating every minute of it on behalf of the poor female lead who definitely deserved better. the ending? absolutely batshit, and not in a fun way. one of the weirdest, worst endings ive seen since with you

14 back from the brink. too kitschy for me, i didn't last long on this one (i think 2 eps lol).

13 gone with the rain. i wanted to like this one because i love sean sun and troll general is exactly what i want out of life. but i didn't like the weird daydream asides, constant animal noise sound effects, and i found everyone kind of off-putting in a non-watchable way, so i peaced out really quick--ep 4ish

12 here we meet again. i love janice wu. i continue to try out her dramas hoping for something to grab me again. this one was pretty boring/too focused on the work element and not the rest of it.

11 exclusive fairytale. i have a secret weakness for youth-to-working-life dramas, so tried this one out. flat, not a lot of chemistry, and very color-by-numbers. the show was clearly made to vehicle jun, and that's okay, but not my thing

10 the starry love. i wanted to like this one because the side characters were fun and i loved the male lead/prince of heaven and all his awkward "please leave by 9" energy. but it bored me overall and unlike most folks i had no interest in the demon secondary ship. i dropped around ep 10

9 my journey to you. it kills me to rank this one so low because it was my most anticipated cdrama this year, but i just couldn't get into it. the pacing was too slow for me, and i couldn't stand how everyone talked to each other (long. pauses. and then. staring. and then. whispers. always the. whispers). i dropped this around midway

8 the love you give me. the chemistry between the leads was cute and it was a decent modern romance. started losing me around the midpoint when the paternity reveal hit and the ML got way into boundary crossing because of it

7 circle of love. objectively not a good drama. in fact, a toxic and batshit drama that has probably made me a worse person for watching it. but gd did my messy ass enjoy the trainwreck.

6 road home. you really got to be in the mood for this one, but it's a nice, understated and slow melo romance. but def not a bingeable show since it takes its time with everything

5 wonderland of love. another drama that i dont think is objectively great, but two competent schemers/martial artists trying to one-up each other is like ship catnip for me and this was a show that lived or died by its ship. surprisingly tame for the screenwriter, and had a happy ending! popcorn watch.

4 till the end of the moon. me and this drama were in a bad romance, which i suppose is thematically appropriate. i hated parts of it, i was super invested in others. the post-dream human arc was giving wuthering heights tragic obsession incredibleness. even with its flaws, i think most of cdramaland is in agreement that lyx/tantai jin stole the ML competition this year. great gowns, beautiful gowns

3 story of kunning palace. i adored the characters in this drama! even when the plot was losing my interest, everyone was cast so well and had so much charisma that i stayed pretty hooked from ep 10ish on. absolutely loved the mean high school theatre director wreck that was xie wei, as well as the other (imo) true love interest of the show, princess leyang. the desperate speech about being like iron is gonna live rent-free in my head

& then 1&2 are way ahead of the others for me this year/a very close race between them!

2 a journey to love. i love this drama so much!!! i have not skipped or speed watched a single scene which for me is a huge feat! great character work across the board -- even the side characters have a lot of nuance and interesting dynamics between them. beautiful fight scenes. great ost. one of the best, most balanced main couples ive seen in a show. it's gonna break my heart in a few eps when it ends, but i'll be happy about it

1 lost you forever (s1). this drama came out of NOWHERE and the vicegrip it had on me while it was airing!!! my favorite FL this year (although a journey to love's ruyi is a close second), and just a ton of fun while also being quietly devastating in parts. i loved how lived in and tired the FL felt, enjoyed the various flavors of mess from her love interests, and enjoyed how extra it could go while still giving us really grounded and complicated characters. this drama gets extra points for converting me on several actors i did not think that highly of before the show.

overall, despite how many i dropped (lol writing it out made me realize i dropped so, so many), cdramas delivered for me this year! my top two are on my short list for favorite dramas, period. everyone go watch a journey to love and lost you forever if you havent yet!!!

AWARDS

Favorite ship: definitely goes to ruyi and yuanzhou from a journey to love. it's just nice to see a couple that mutually supports each other's murders

Favorite FL: xiaoyao from lost you forever with ruyi from journey to love as a very close runner-up. i am here for this year's theme of competent, jaded ladies trying to reclaim their lives

Favorite ML: objectively, tantai jin from till the end of the moon should win this, but story of kunning palace's xie wei was just so entertainingly grumpy, petty, and unhinged which is a winning combo for me.

Favorite 2FL: princess yang ying from a journey to love. she's doing amazing and im proud of her!!

Favorite 2ML: technically third male lead, but xiang liu from lost you forever was my favorite to watch and had the best tuxedo mask exits

Best Cast: a journey to love, i literally adore all of them, even the ones i hate

Best Blood Cough: tantai jin, you beautiful bastard who needs a bib

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 5

It's The Date Episode! And honestly, fucking outstanding. The core six pair off and spend the day lying to themselves and each other. It's mostly cute and sweet but the undercurrent of shit about to hit the fan hangs over the entire episode. It's sort of the calm before the storm. Last week, Boston held onto his top spot in the viewer rankings for the second week in a row, with Ray and Nick rounding out the leaderboard. Can the most miserable bastard in the world do the hattrick? Here's this week's winners and losers.

🔺1. Top (2)

Why don’t you try Lasik? A friend of mine had it, and they said their eyesight is so much better. But now that I think about it…I don’t want you to get it now. I like you better looking like a nerd.

Look, ain't nobody more surprised than me, but this man legit got every goddamn thing he wanted this ep. Top putting on the perfect man act (and I am more convinced than EVER that it's an act) was fascinating to watch. Studiously ignoring all the various signals put out by various other men all day, knowing Mew's eyes are on him. The fucking INSTAGRAM COUPLE PHOTO. And then the knockout blow: when he looked Mew dead in the eye and said 'I love you' I said out loud OH YOU MANIPULATIVE MOTHERFUCKER WELL PLAYED. Do I think Top has bad motives towards Mew, no. I just think he likes the idea of Mew a lot more than he actually likes Mew. And now that Mew's given up that bussy, I'm counting down to Top finding a mistress to give him some variety.

🔺2. Nick (3)

-You’re acting weird. -Weird how? I’m just… I’m just shuffling up my style.

Speaking of getting everything you want, Nick looked like he won the lotto when Boston started talking about settling down. Never mind that Nick is doing ALL of Boston's work for him. Never mind that 3 separate people have now told Nick that Boston ain't shit. Nick is euphoric. Nick has ascended. Nick is doodling 'Mr. Nick Boston's-last-name' in his Trapper Keeper. Nick is going to the gym and dressing more upscale. Nick is giggling when Boston asks to spend the night instead of fucking off as soon as they finish fucking. Nick is headed for a crash so great I'm SALIVATING.

🔺3. Boston (6)

I feel like I should stop sleeping around for a bit. It’s been feeling so empty lately. In the end, I want to have sex with someone I can… talk to for a little, you know? Like, have great sex, have good chats, and…someone I can get affectionate with. Right now…there’s only you.

Told y'all you can't keep a bad bitch down for long and Boston's already bouncing back. He might have had a moment of weakness and tried to be nice for exactly one day, but Nick getting drunk and stoned and running his mouth about how cute Sand and Ray were activated his asshole glands. He smelled happiness and said NOT ONE FUCK OF THAT ON MY WATCH. Boston is that Marie Kondo gif, he fucking LOVES mess no matter how much he goes on about hating drama. He will always poke the hornet's nest. Shutting the fuck up was free, but he just COULDN'T. And thank god, because Ray punching him in the mouth was like 3 of the 5 top things that happened this ep.

🔻4. Ray (1)

-That’s a nice top. Where did you get it? -This thing? It’s secondhand.

Whew Ray's day slummin' it was so classic I shed a tear. I can't really adequately describe his facial expression through the whole day, but 'condescending amusement' is closest. His enjoyment of Sand's company is very real, as are his attraction and hints of affection, but he absolutely does not consider that man his equal, and that's why he doesn't even consider the 'boyfriend' label. No matter what Ray's feeling, Sand's demi-monde, not part of his world. He likes that Sand treats him like he's special, he likes that Sand seems to always want him around, he likes that Sand will take care of him, but he'll never take Sand seriously. This would be true even if he wasn't in love with Mew, but being in love with Mew makes it all worse. Pathetic, I love it.

🔹5. Sand (5)

I work. I save up money. I sleep. I dream. I go to bed alone, wake up, and go to work. Until…he came along. It’s like somebody presses pause on all my 24 hours. Next thing I know…I’m living my 25th hour. Ray’s extra hour.

Oh SAND. I've been saying from jump this is hurting most because SAND KNOWS BETTER. When Sand called Ray his 25th hour I wanted to SCREAM because BABY BOY YOU KNOW BETTER. This dude is either drunk or hungover all of those same 24 hours you are grinding out a living, but you wanna spend your birthday with him because he makes you feel sparkly. He stays sneering at how you ain't got no money and work 17 jobs, but because he does it with a twinkle in his eyes you're blind and deaf all of a sudden. He told you HIS MOTHER DRANK HERSELF TO DEATH and you pour him another drink. I ain't feeling sorry for Sand anymore, he did this to himself.

🔻6. Mew (4)

-Does this mean I passed your test? -Yeah. You’ve convinced me that you really only have eyes for me.

Mew really tried to play a player and ended up playing himself instead. Like, in one way he's won: Top's his boyfriend, and honestly very likely to stay that way. But Mew should have been careful what he wished for because 'boyfriend' and 'faithful lover' are two very different things.

⭐7. Sand's mom

You keep nagging at me, you know that? Who between us is the mother, exactly?

WE AIN'T MET THIS LADY FOR NOTHING! My Sand/Top half brothers theory LIVES!

⭐8. Summer

Sorry to chat you up, but I’m alone, after all.

Poor girl's a hottie but didn't stand a chance.

[telomeke]

LAST TWILIGHT AND READING THE SUNSET – VISUALS, OPTICS AND ENDINGS IN BONDAGE TO THE BAHT

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Last Twilight aired its final episode on Friday 26 January 2024, and the response on BL Tumblr to how things wrapped up (at least among the majority of BL watchers whom I follow) has been a lot of head-shaking disappointment, if not exactly full-on hatred. Without the bittersweet touches we've come to expect from Director Aof as counterballast for his trademark uplifting sentimentality, the ending came across as unforgivably sappy and sugary-sweet for many of us.

And I found myself agreeing with a lot of the criticism being flung at Last Twilight – for the ardent Noppharnachionados accustomed to more nuanced, thought-provoking output from Director Aof (Moonlight Chicken comes immediately to mind) the final episode of Last Twilight (and especially the fourth instalment, Part [4/4]) felt very boxer-gloved, rushing to hit its marks but then only clobbering bluntly at the surface, never venturing deeper and lacking subtlety at every turn.

But I've been giving it a once-over, because it's a little surprising to me that Khun Noppharnach (who's such an expert at his craft) could land quite the dud that some, including me, were so uncharitably calling Last Twilight.

And I now think – as Khun Noppharnach has done so many times before – he may very well be trolling us again. Because on my rewatch, I'm finding that the narrative holds certain clues that Director Aof was possibly quite conscious of what he was doing with Ep.12 of Last Twilight. On closer inspection it's a whole lot cleverer than it seems (maybe a bit too clever for its own good) – but it does require much sign-reading though (and caveat: I'm not a trained or professional tea leaf reader!). 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, after a speed-run rewatch of the 12 episodes (just skimming the surface really, so forgive me if I overlook anything) I've decided I need to reconsider a lot of my preliminary judgement about Last Twilight's final episode (and the series in general). I now think it actually does satisfy on a number of levels (even while it continues to disappoint on so many others). But because of work and other commitments though, this post is very late (still, better late than never I guess!)

I'm not wanting to spend too much time on the text and subtext, because it's the metatextual level of Last Twilight (what this BL says about BL) that intrigues me the most. But this is going to be a super-long post anyway.

In many ways Last Twilight was a departure from Director Aof's usual work, and the most obvious was its return to the structure and content typical of a traditional romance drama. Khun Noppharnach had actually moved away from this in his output over the past few years (once again, Moonlight Chicken is the paragon of examples; Bad Buddy nodded at this, if only to subvert it and signal to us that Khun Noppharnach was attempting an overhaul of LGBTQ+ depictions in the BL industry).

Some background to start things off – BL, including Thai BL, owes a lot to het romance dramas that set the archetypal framework early on, and early BLs often followed that inherited formula very closely (I think SOTUS and Together with Me fit this bill).

Painting with the broadest of brushstrokes, a stereotypical (het) romance drama can usually be expected to structure its narrative according to the following:

The meeting of the protagonists, usually a fraught mix of attraction and friction;

They go on a journey of falling in love with each other (and we get to watch along);

A major conflict arises to test their love and commitment;

They triumph over the conflict and end up happily ever after (most of the time) or are overcome by it (and the love story ends tragically, some of the time).

As a lot of romance stories are targeted at women, typically the female protagonist in a het romance drama is the center of attention, and the story is told from her point of view as well.

And because of their het predecessors, early BLs also tended to depict their couples with a masculine/feminine framing (which could also be spun out into a dominant/submissive and/or active/passive dynamic – the dreaded seme/uke binary).

Director Aof took a wrecking ball to all that with Bad Buddy (upending the structure, subverting the conflict, dispensing with seme/uke), and his works have since veered toward more-rounded LGBTQ+ drama, centered around romance, but forgoing the stereotypical structure and beats of more traditional romance dramas.

But if you think about it, Last Twilight actually hews quite closely back to the original template.

For example, Mhok is a big, scruffy ex-convict and mechanic, stereotypically masculine – the proverbial seme – while Day is slighter, younger and a Mama's boy (despite what Night says at Ep.10 [2/4] 16.24) leaning into uke territory.

The structure was pretty traditional as well:

The early entanglements of Mhok and Day were a mix of antagonism and attraction;

They went on a journey of falling in love with each other despite their differences, that we were allowed to witness – we had "masculine" Mhok losing his heart to "feminine" Day first, with the seme then pursuing his grumpy uke (a tsundere?) and subjecting us to plenty of swoonworthy Aaaaw moments as Mhok piled on much tenderness, care and affection;

The major conflict that tested their love and commitment was actually Day's questioning of Mhok's motivations, leading to their rupture in the clichéd Episode 11 of Doom;

They triumphed over the conflict after Mhok returned and demonstrated that he'd grown and learnt his lessons in meeting Day's less visible needs – not very convincingly though (and I think this is one part where a lot of us feel extremely let down by the narrative) – but it was enough to sweep Day off his feet once again, and they got their happily ever after.

There was some padding in the middle (including the obligatory out-of-town tourism jaunt – I'm convinced BLs that do this receive grants from the Tourism Authority, and in Last Twilight we were treated to a sojourn in Songkhla). The show really had to work stretching things out over 11 episodes (which was why, for me, the pacing started to drag in the second half). But overall I think the structure of Last Twilight marks a faithful return to BLs (and het romances) of older times.

With regard to characterization, Day rendered progressively hapless and helpless as his vision declined made him easy to read as a damsel-in-distress, the object of savior-knight Mhok's affections and ministrations. It's thus also unsurprising when we were shown more of Day's point of view than Mhok's (just as we usually get to see more of a heroine's interior journey in traditional het romance dramas than her romantic foil's). Last Twilight was nodding at the past once more, asking us again to view it through the lens of an old-school (BL) romance drama.

A lot of romance dramas also tend to be intellectually lightweight – some are pure sentimental, throwaway indulgence – and if we place Last Twilight somewhere on the less demanding end of the spectrum, it's a more than serviceable example of the genre and has in fact more heft than most. (I was expecting it to land more in queer drama territory as has most of Khun Noppharnach's work, and the fact that it only half did contributed a lot to my sense of disappointment at the end.)

But as a lighter piece of trad BL fluff, Last Twilight did punch above its weight class very often. And all of the discourse around vision and Day's increasing blindness was the early tip-off to one of its weightier, central themes – that of seeing and being seen in the light of one's truth.

As his vision faded, Day found himself subject to his greatest fear – of being seen as less than his truth, especially when by all accounts he had been a storied and admired athlete prior to his visual debilitation. Day was still the same person despite his loss of vision, and he was painfully reminded of this fact every time those around him forgot it. Last Twilight deftly showed us that his early snark and cynicism were a brittle defense against being seen as nothing more than an object of pity, the ghost of his former self (which is what Mee/Me in the novel Last Twilight was also about).

There are many examples of this, e.g., when he avoided his friends after blindness set in, and his meltdown at the party they threw him after a rapprochement (Ep.6 [3‌/4] 20.12, when it became clear they viewed him as a weakling in need of rescue at the first sign of trouble, inferior to his previous incarnation as an athletic champion). The story arc with August's feigned romantic interest was also another of Day's nightmares coming true, being exactly the sort of innocently insulting and unconsciously condescending treatment he was trying to avoid.

And of course this was the reason behind his break-up with Mhok in Episode 11, when he sensed that Mhok's care and concern were in part tied to a notion of Day as being less than whatever the nebulous concept of "normal" was in his head. (For context, Mhon and Day have an exchange about the meaning of a "normal" life for Day at Ep.10 [2/4] 7.35), Mhok talks about Day wanting to be "normal" at Ep.11 [1‌/4] 10.22, and Mhon reminds Day of his wish to be "normal" at Ep.12 [3‌/4] 16.29). Despite – or maybe because of – how objectionable the word may be, I think Last Twilight is inviting us to question our ideas about it too.)

So a large part of Day's story arc involved him overcoming his own hang-ups and dealing with how he was seen by the world around him, to stand in the light of his own truth (as a proud member of the differently abled community).

Mhok's character also had a parallel journey. Excluding those who knew him well, society refused to see beyond his rough-hewn persona (and his prison background too, it must be said). His options in life were thus limited by how he was always seen as an outsider, and subjected to othering because his presence was invariably associated with negativity, risk and harm.

But as Mhok demonstrated time and again, his truth (that for the longest time only Porjai and maybe Rung could seem to see) was far less violent and menacing than what was read by the people around him. And his character's journey toward self-actualization in Last Twilight was to arrive at a life truer to his inner self, noting that what we see at the beginning of the series is Mhok trying valiantly to live up to his ruffian image, prone to fights and aggression. With this, it's possible to read that Mhok himself was unable to comprehend fully his own inner impulses, and it was only his time as caregiver and later faen in Day's life that opened his eyes to living out his more nurturing, other-focused energy within (and that must have served him well too, in his later career as a chef crafting dishes for others to enjoy).

In contrast to Day, whose struggle was also about being seen for his truth while cast (by others) in a negative light, Mhok chose to align himself with whatever role the world put him in (whether it was a rabble-rouser mechanic, a straight boyfriend to Porjai, or a guardian to the infantilized Day) whereas Day chose to reject any outsider-determined identity outright. And Mhok failed at his roles mostly because they were inauthentic to his truth, except for his time as Day's caregiver. For the first time there Mhok's failure was different, not because the caregiving recognized his own truth (coming from kindness and softness within) but because it did not recognize Day's truth (as his approach to taking care of Day still perpetuated the invalidation of Day's wholeness as a person).

Mhok and Day's names are also a quiet hat tip to this – with Mhok's name (หมอก, that means fog or mist) also a metaphor for how visibility of the truth behind his amorphous self was obscured for the longest time, while Day's name (actually the English word day, with all its connotations of light and clarity) is a metaphor for how he was clear about his own truth and identity from the start, but needed to be seen correctly, undistorted by any filter of shame or pity.

However, GMMTV's commercial insistence on pair branding worked somewhat against the characterizations – my read is that Day was probably written as much more fragile in appearance (belying the tough athlete that he really was beyond surface impressions, and explaining the tendency of his friends, family and caregivers to want to infantilize him post-blindness). As an aside, badminton is one of those sports that forgives a certain delicacy of frame, as it rewards lightness and agility more than brute strength on the court. Meanwhile Mhok was (I think) written as this big beast of a man whose appearance would scare off all but the most foolhardy, meaning that his innate kindness and sensitivity would remain unseen by most.

Unfortunately Sea is built pretty sturdily as an actual badminton athlete (and he's tall as well) while dermatologist Jimmy is just too porcelain-skinned and delicate-featured pull off any convincing evocation of physical brutishness. Pity, because the pair do have chemistry and their acting was mostly credible in Last Twilight (especially from Sea, who brings an easy and natural charm to his portrayals).

Anyway, I can suss out two visual metaphors in the series that illustrate the ideas described above. But as the analysis of these metaphors is also long, I've moved it all away into its own post linked here: The Fishtank and the Flowers. I found both metaphors to be fascinating (the goldfish aquarium, as well as the pairing of the jasmine with the sunflower), but it was the blooms especially that took me by surprise (when it became clearer which was assigned to Mhok and which to Day). 🤩

So while we're on the characters though, here's an aside about the criticism of how Mhok was treated by the narrative and the outrage surrounding his apology at Ep.12 [2/4] 10.55. Yes, he had been a selfless caregiver and a caring lover, but there were also numerous examples of him treating Day as less than an adult with his own agency, doing to Day what August, Mhon and the replacement caregiver (Assistant Director Meng Chaiyapat's extended cameo, at Ep.10 [2/4] 0.27) had done, by controlling the playbook and removing Day's choice and say in matters directly related to his own life. Some examples of where Mhok fell short:

Pretending not to find the copy of Last Twilight in the Chatuchak secondhand bookstore, gaslighting Day into believing it was his own discovery (Ep.3 [3‌/4] 9.41) – you might lie to a kid about Santa Claus (and I'm divided about that), but nevertheless Day was not a kid and should not have been treated like one.

Lying about Night's involvement in their plan to see Mount Veha (Ep.8 [1‌/4] 17.34) – more gaslighting.

Going back on his word and telling Mhon and Night about Day winning the dancing garland (Ep.11 [4/4] 7.35) – this was just plain disrespectful, especially after Day had shared his mixed feelings about the "win" (Ep.11 [4/4] 1.45).

Taking advantage of Day's blindness to prank him (Ep.11 [3‌/4] 7.32 and Ep.11 [4/4] 3.38) – unless Day liked surprises (of which I see no sign) laughs derived from exploiting someone's vulnerabilities are never to be lauded (please don't jumpscare the blind, people).

And the ultimate – lying about the job offer in Hawaii, which was the last straw for Day (Ep.11 [4/4] 10.51).

All the above might have come from a place of love, motivated out of the goodness of Mhok's heart – but even if they were meant to uplift or support Day, his actions were all disrespectful (even damaging) to Day's own agency and personal situation as someone struggling with visual disability.

In this light (pun intended) I had to re-think my judgement of Mhok's apology to Day in Ep.12, because he did need to learn to care for Day on terms acceptable to Day as well, and not have expected him to give that up just because he needed care.

Now because it's Khun Noppharnach, it will always be possible to give a queer reading to his work. So Day's dread at being seen as less than what society perceives as "normal", and Mhok's struggle with his status as the feared and misunderstood "other", can both be read as stand-ins for (some parts of) the LGBTQ+ experience, where full acceptance of the queer minority has yet to become the norm for most, if not all, societies. But I guess that should be obvious to all by now.

Anyway, there's a whole lot more burbling within Last Twilight that can be explored at length, but as I've gone on too long already I'm simply going to mention them here and then skip on:

The novel Last Twilight that features so prominently everywhere within the series (that not-so-coincidentally shares its name) is rich with significance as a parallel to (and comment on) Mhok and Day's own story, especially with Mee/Me's struggle to be seen in a world often blind to her presence.

Day becoming increasingly unseen as the neverending night of blindness became his defining identity is mirrored by Mee/Me needing to step away from darkness in order to be seen by the world around her (and her light-chasing is also a parallel for the sun-seeking of the sunflower, Day's totemic bloom, and in that way another metaphor for Day's reliance on external validation – see this write-up linked here for more elaboration on that aspect of Day's personality).

Day's blindness was not at all the first time Khun Noppharnach has used a form of health-related affliction as a metaphor for the queer condition, highlighting the parallels of the LGBTQ+ experience with the social model of disability. Other examples of this in his work include Heart's deafness in Moonlight Chicken, Tian's and Med's heart conditions in A Tale of Thousand Stars and He's Coming to Me respectively (the latter maybe less so though) and Pran's obsessive-compulsive disorder in Bad Buddy.

Also in He's Coming to Me, Med's predicament as a ghost subject to all sorts of constraints in the world of the living, as well as his invisibility to those insensitive to his situation, was a parallel with Last Twilight's theme of being seen for your true self even as the wider world imposes restrictions on you, and is similarly an allegory for the LGBTQ+ experience as well.

Last Twilight's ideas about seeing and being seen correctly were also touched on (somewhat briefly) in Bad Buddy, in the discourse around Ink's camera, photography and Pat/Pa's contact lenses.

Mhok's journey was milestoned with numerous examples of the food = love trope, in which he could be seen giving of himself through the creation of dishes and meals for others.

(above) Last Twilight Ep.11 [2/4] 0.39 – Mhok's gift of Black Chicken Soup (ซุปไก่ดำมา) to Porjai is but one of many examples in the series of him showing his love to others through his cooking; in this instance Black Chicken Soup (made by double-boiling silkie chicken with medicinal herbs) is a traditional Chinese preparation, warm and comforting, that is considered particularly nourishing for moms newly post-partum and is also popular in Thailand for the same reason

This is paralleled also by Mhon and her career as a chef (especially when she ladled soup out for her ex-husband in Ep.12, which is a bittersweet Noppharnach touch with reams of cultural backstory – but that's fodder for another post though).

And Assistant Director Au Kornprom's cameo as chef-de-cuisine in Singha's hotel continues a meta-level portrayal of his role in BL as some sort of leader, instructor, teacher or creator with a select group as the intended beneficiaries of his work (see these links here and here for other examples).

(above) Assistant Director Au Kornprom Niyomsil pops up in a cameo as Chef Tom in Last Twilight Ep.11 [2/4] 9.47 

I think Director Aof is announcing that Khun Kornprom is his designated successor as the next generation BL director at GMMTV who will (perhaps) be carrying on a measure of queer activism within his own output.

And that brings me to what I think Last Twilight might be saying on a metatextual level.

What I'm going to be babbling on about here reaches not only into Last Twilight for some clues as to its comments about the wider BL industry, but also to some messaging in Khun Noppharnach's earlier (though still recent) work, because I think it all does come together to paint a picture of some significance.

In the names and chromatic metaphors of Moonlight Chicken (see this link here), Director Aof signaled that unseen persons in authority were increasingly making their political presence felt, especially where financial motivations were concerned (caveat: I think this is a reference to power play within GMMTV and perhaps the BL industry itself, not a comment on the wider political scene in Thailand).

And Director Aof's various cameos in MLC (written up here) as well as its themes of generational renewal and the struggles to leave the past behind, also seemed to be messaging that some of this conflict between artistic/activist directions and commercial considerations were possibly taking a personal toll even as he continued his career within the BL industry.

I would have left it at that, but then when the Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars episodes had their turn on our screens in 2023, it became clear that Director Aof was saying something quite forcefully about the telling of queer stories in the media, especially in situations when queer people have less control over the narrative (as is the case with Y-series churned out by commercial studios for mass market consumption; see this write-up here for the analysis).

So based on the above together, this is my read of the situation.

Khun Noppharnach has been signaling that because of the profit motive, queer creators in the BL world are under increasing pressure from higher up to return to more commercially-lucrative storytelling, perhaps in the form of more stereotypical romances the way Last Twilight was structured. (Whether this pressure is from within the producing organization or from the wider political sphere I do not know nor wish to speculate.)

As a consequence, QL shows are being made to veer away from recounting stories that are authentic to the LGBTQ+ experience (which was the warning embedded in Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars), dialing back content that speaks with a queer voice to queer people (though of course non-queers are welcome to watch along, because after all a good story is a good story).

If the above is true, then the tidal pull of commercial goals may soon be dragging more output back toward the more romanticized imaginings of same-sex love seen before in formulaic (but arguably more profitable) BLs of old, with an emphasis on catering to mass market demand (largely represented by – whether rightly or wrongly – marketing perceptions of the cishet female teen gaze).

And all of this circles back to Last Twilight, which is an example of this return to the past, and perhaps explains in part why its ending feels so unsatisfactory for a lot of us.

I'm very much convinced at this point that the finale (with its hated timeskip, Mhok's spiffed-up but stagey return, his emotionally hollow reconciliation with Day, and especially all the schmaltzy vignettes post-couplehood part deux) is but a conscious reaction to political gameplay from echelons above. For Last Twilight, I'm sensing (guessing?) that Director Aof and his team were coerced not just to stay faithful to the traditional formula of BLs past, but also to shove in an unmitigated Happily Ever After for the branded pair of JimmySea, without any of the hallmark Noppharnach countercurrents to undercut the sweetness (or else).

And perhaps in a burst of inspired-slash-malicious compliance, the team took on the mandate for the HEA and ran with it, churning out a saccharine, nutritionally-deficient lump of candy and unceremoniously tacking it on as the ending of what had otherwise been a fairly measured and self-aware BL from the start. And it really sticks out – but I think it was meant to.

I may be misreading the tea leaves again, but to me the signs of the above are myriad. Here's some of what I think Director Aof is telling us about Last Twilight's subversion of the ending, embedded within the narrative and visuals:

Master Aon's name is signaling (to me at least) a parallel with Director Aof's name (Aon/Aof, On/Off, Onscreen/Offscreen, get it? 😆). He even has a similar look, with his wispy mustache, earring and floppy hair.

Noting that Aon was a respected, good-natured guru who'd already trodden happily the path that Day was on, this reads like a rendering of Director Aof's own role (that I'm tempted to say is self-defined, though it's my own reading really) as a queer elder imparting the wisdom of his own experience to younger queer people viewing his work. (Also, both Aon and Aof are gurus of BL who've had their vision stolen from them.) And if Kruu Aon was recommending acolyte Day to read the novel Last Twilight for the metaphorical lessons within (we were reminded of this many times: see Ep.3 [2/4] 9.08, Ep.8 [4/4] 1.07 and Ep.9 [4/4] 9.26), I think Kruu Aof is recommending that we look at the series Last Twilight more closely as well to learn of something similar.

Last Twilight the series is full of references to endings. And if the novel Last Twilight has been signaled as the roadmap to Director Aof's thinking behind the series, the missing last page and epilogue in Day's copy suggests that – just like the book version – Last Twilight the series is actually (and deliberately) open-ended.

But the messaging doesn't just stop there. We are also called upon to manifest the ending we want (if what we're presented with doesn't meet our expectations). For example, Mhok hated the ending of Last Twilight the novel (although Day liked it –see Ep.9 [4/4] 13.23). And he then conflated this with his disappointment at the lackluster twilight on Mount Veha as well.

But through the power of imagination Day helped Mhok see the beauty of the sunset there (Ep.9 [4/4] 16.28) – on one level it's a trite "Life is what you make it" sort of statement, but on another it also reads like a call to action ("You can change what you don't like"). And I like to think it also embodies Last Twilight's theme of recalibrating your own way of seeing things, and looking beyond surface visuals to find the truth that speaks to you (which, in a sense, is what I'm doing now, hah!). But when applied to Last Twilight at a meta level – I think we're also being reminded that a picture-perfect ending (such as Last Twilight's Ep.12 [4/4]) can also hide the reality of gloomy clouds behind the artifice overlaid by human intervention.

Another sign that the ending of Last Twilight deserves a closer look is all the flapping about between innkeeper Cherry, Mhok and Day around the missing last page of Day's book in the Ep.9 [4/4] scene starting at timestamp 2.38.

(above) Last Twilight Ep.9 [4/4] 3.11 – Cherry tears out the last page of her copy of the novel and forces it on Mhok and Day

I'm putting in a detour for a closer look at Cherry here. She was the unsentimental custodian of her father's guesthouse, with a personality that blew hot and cold (like the weather in the south, referenced at Ep.9 [4/4] 2.12). The guesthouse seemed comfortable enough, although Mhok found it less than welcoming (Ep.9 [3‌/4] 6.39). And Cherry herself was also a strange mix of brusque and friendly. She was more concerned about cash than MhokDay's lack of shelter at Ep.9 [3‌/4] 7.36, but warmed up to them later when they explained their Mount Veha quest (allowing them to stay, treating them to a musical evening with her guitar, and accepting the payment deferral). She preferred the old way of doing things (cash only, no online transfers) and had once hosted David, the author of Last Twilight the novel, at the guesthouse.

Based on the above, I'm thinking that Cherry is a representation of Director Aof's dual role at GMMTV, where he is both a creative (director and sometime screenwriter) as well as part of management (senior director of content production, at time of writing). And in Last Twilight we see this duality acknowledged both in Cherry's mercurial double nature, as well as in the capricious weather of Songkhla. The guesthouse, on the other hand, is a representation of GMMTV itself. On the management side, Director Aof has to make and/or implement decisions on behalf of the company even though it isn't really his (just as Cherry runs what was once her dad's). GMMTV is warm and hospitable enough to the performers in its stable, but as a commercial enterprise it has to prioritize financials above most (if not all) other considerations (symbolized by the guesthouse's paradoxically comfy yet unwelcoming air, and also Cherry's indifference to MhokDay's cashless plight). Director Aof's creative focus is the arts (represented by Cherry's musical interlude) but GMMTV itself prefers the old ways of making money, i.e., old-style BLs (and this is symbolized by the guesthouse unwilling or unable to explore new ways of collecting rent with no online transfers). And just as the guesthouse hosted David, whose bittersweet ending to Last Twilight the novel wasn't satisfying to salt-of-the-earth Mhok (standing in for the tastes of the mass market), GMMTV also hosts under its roof Director Aof, the auteur behind Last Twilight the series (whose original ending I suspect may not have pleased other GMMTV bigwigs in management, and who then enforced a change). Some of this is illustrated in part by the scene just before Mhok and Day departed from the guesthouse. When Mhok and Day asked Cherry to keep her autographed copy of the novel, she instead tore out the (signed) ending from her book and thrust it into their hands. And when Day asked if it had a happy ending – she jokingly tried to grab it back, saying "Find the ending yourselves." To me this is a metaphor that the original ending of Last Twilight the series is actually unknown to us, and the ending we got was forced into the narrative from the outside (because it's what the fans want, according to GMMTV speaking in Cherry's voice at Ep.9 [4/4] 3.15 – "I think it's more important to you than me"). And it has official sanction too (symbolized by the author's signature), indicating that Director Aof (David in another incarnation) may not have had a choice (since we're shown that the author's stamp of approval was artificially inserted into a different book instead). It also suggests (in the "Find the ending yourselves") that Director Aof was aware of how that artificial transplantation was going to be negatively received by some diehard Noppharnach fans, and he's saying to us – "Take the ending that's been given you", but at the same time "Find your own meaning in it".

And then Day tells us in no uncertain terms basically the same message, at Ep.12 [4/4] 3.37 ("We were made to discover our own preferred version of the novel’s finale").

The narrative actually tells us quite boldly in the first part of Episode 12 that we can expect the finale to start unraveling because of outside interference – I actually think this is the message behind Director Aof's cameo at Ep.12 [1‌/4] 10.01:

Mocked up as a hotel porter, Director Aof offered a guiding hand to Day – but at timestamp 10.06 Mhok suddenly inserted himself into the scene in an act of direct supplantation:

(above) Last Twilight Ep.12 [1‌/4] 10.06 – Mhok steps in and supplants hotel porter Aof (he of the white gloves)

To me this was unambiguously signaling that from this point onward the proceedings would no longer be under the guiding hand of Khun Noppharnach. In addition, hotel porter Aof's gloved hands were pure white, unbesmirched and free from stain, conveying the message that Director Aof was innocent and blameless of the plot shenanigans that were to follow. To underscore the point, we were then shown Day taking a misstep under new (non-Aof) guidance at Ep.12 [1‌/4] 11.20:

(above) Last Twilight Ep.12 [1‌/4] 11.20 – Day stumbles without hotel porter Aof's guidance, even as Last Twilight the series begins to falter

This was jarringly out of tone, given Day's confidence in his life as a blind person, as well as Mhok's previous – and very conscientious – stint as caregiver to Day the first time around (he would instinctively stand between Day and any physical risk, and place a protective hand over protrusions that Day might bump his head on, for example). The message from this visually dissonant moment is that we should expect the ending to stumble as well, without Khun Noppharnach guiding the process.

So what can we make of the ending with this in mind? I can live with the timeskip, Mhok's return, and the eventual reunion of our main pair. These are all somewhat expected beats in a standard romance drama – and if that's what Last Twilight is setting itself up as, I won't begrudge it the tropey hallmarks that some do love (though I do think some parts could have been handled better). I even liked the airport run for all of its brash, silly sentimentality (yes, Love Actually is one of my favorite films).

But where I think Last Twilight really falls off a Veha cliff is when it starts lobbing at us a plethora of candy-sweet dreams unrealistically brought to life, one after another, in Ep.12 [4/4]. We have:

Ep.12 [4/4] 0.51 – Surprise! Day can see;

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Ep.12 [4/4] 1.18 – Multiple scenes showing Day rejoining the world of the sighted, enjoying activities that were once denied to him (like reading and badminton) both alone and in the company of loved ones;

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Ep.12 [4/4] 4.01 – Family time! Mhok introduces Day as his partner to his deceased family at their memorial niches, and then we see Mhok very much integrated into Day's family (signified by his pasta dish receiving chef Mhon's stamp of approval) even as we see Night and Porjai joyfully announcing another imminent addition to the numbers;

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Ep.12 [4/4] 8.06 – Mhok and Day get a Mount Veha do-over, talk about the novel's ending and then act out the ending to their own love story.

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It's all just too, too fairytale, with happy news piled atop happy news, and just reeks of artificial sap and fakery.

But that's just it – I think that Director Aof and team were actually faking it. Remembering that the novel Last Twilight's full title is Last Twilight: Until the Last Light Goes Out, take a look at how each of the above little snippets of happiness is finished off – each draws to a close with its own Fade-to-Black.

Now the Fade-to-Black is a device borrowed from theater – in a stage play snuffing the lights for a few minutes of total darkness allows scenes to acquire a sense of separation, completion and closure while giving the crew time to change the sets. But here in Last Twilight it feels like we're being pitched happy ending after unrelated happy ending, each competing with the previous in the too-good-to-be-true stakes.

In the title of the novel, we're told to hold on until the last light goes out. Just when is that last light exactly though? There are so many here that each Fade-to-Black begins to feel not just like closure, but like a little death each time. (Also pertinent to note: MhokDay's kiss under that glorious sunset at Ep.12 [4/4] 13.26 gets replaced by a sky of gray clouds instead at Ep.12 [4/4] 13.37.)

Director Aof is really hammering home his point that traditional Happily Ever Afters in romance stories can be shallow and unsatisfactory, and is making us miss the trademark melancholy that propped up the wistful sentimentality in the closing scenes of his previous works.

However, much of the above is what Last Twilight is saying about Last Twilight.

At the metatextual level, what the show is communicating about BLs as a whole is even more somber. I think Director Aof is messaging that for the BL industry to head toward a happy, satisfying ending (if it really is being pushed down to lowest common denominator levels by commercial interests), it's up to us the viewers to manifest that and make it happen (just as Mee/Me and Day did for their own stories). How this might be done, I do not know. Lobbying GMMTV perhaps? Complaining ever more loudly about what this did to Last Twilight when it could have been so much more?

I rather suspect that unfortunately our numbers may not be sufficient to bring about change – the majority of Last Twilight fans actually seemed to like the final wrap-up and its fairytale ending (at least based on the reviews I've seen on MyDramaList). It's only among the more adult (and dare I say it – discerning?) viewership here in the BL sphere on Tumblr are we seeing more robust critiques of the series, mourning the greatness that could have been.

Last Twilight was a good BL all the way up to Ep.12 I think. And then it looks like we were purposely let down, to make a point about BL endings. As always, Director Aof is having the last laugh – and he lets us know this during the end credits.

For it's then that we see the various photographs that were taken by characters throughout the series but never shown to us before (it's strangely moving, and makes me think of the ending to Cinema Paradiso when Salvatore finally gets to view the priest's cut in one long montage as a final gift from Alfredo beyond the grave).

(above) The end credits of Last Twilight, replaying the scenes where the characters were photographed, alongside the images captured in the moment that hitherto were not shown to us

It's in the ending that we're finally getting to see the director's point of view (and hidden message) from his vantage point behind the camera, just as we're only getting to see those photographs (that were originally unseen by their subjects, and privy only to the one taking the photograph) right at the very end.

And the final shot? We get the whole cast and crew making the "span" gesture (that an almost-sightless Day used to approximate the distance at which he could still make things out visually, before his vision left him totally).

It's a loving salute to Last Twilight for sure, but can we perhaps detect a hint of mockery in the way it also resembles the Forehead-L for Loser gesture from the 1990s? Or a hint of a threat in the way it looks like a gun cocked and pointing? The gesture is also Thai sign language for the letter ล, which is somewhat the equivalent of the letter 'L'. And with so many 'L's or 'ล's in that shot, it's making me think of 'LOLOLOL' and also ลล standing in for ล้อเล่น/laaw len, which means Just kidding.

Is it all just a coincidence? I wouldn't put it past Aof for it not to be. But whatever it all means, I really do think he's having a hearty (if somewhat bitter) last laugh. 😔💖

‌

[dangermousie]

Finished my rewatch of ep 2 of City Hunter and it really still holds up.

I love that he sees her throw a man over her shoulder in the first two minutes of their acquaintance and he is definitely intrigued. Honestly, so much of this ep is him being so smitten and not even realizing he is.

I mean, the last shot is after she knocked him over for kissing her as a means to dump his source of information after the information dried up and giving her cash for the trouble of the kiss. (She stuck money back at him and said "for treatment." )

But then there was this earlier - him making out with his target while watching Nana the whole time. Badwronghot.

(And of course the very fact that he's sleeping with someone he doesn't want for info. He may not want to carry out undaddy's murder plan with murder but he's certainly been trained to do a lot of things that are objectively fucked up and to treat himself as an instrument.)

The thing that strikes me so much on rewatch is just how AWFUL undaddy is in his plan. It's one thing to take out people he thinks wronged him and his dead partner. It's another one to use a baby you stole and to fuck him up and train him into a killing machine who will then unknowingly kill his own father. I mean, this was genuinely chilling:

He is meeting the President who he does not know is his father but who he also does not know is his final target. Not to mention his half-sister is checking him out and it's just so wrong wrong wrooooong. It could have all gone way more horrifically wrong than it already did.

In retrospect, it's so clear how undaddy is manipulating the hell out of him, leading him on with the hope that after this is over they can live a normal life. Undaddy told him the name of only one target, and that's the slimiest, least sympathetic one and says he'll tell him the names of the others and why he wants him in the Blue House later - you know what that is? That's grooming. He's slowly and methodically grooming him into an assassination machine via baby steps and that is effing creepy as hell and my wish for undaddy to be eaten by snakes and I am only sad it took as long as it did for him to meet his demise.

Trust you? Great idea. NOT.

It kills me just how kind YS tries to be even with his insane upbringing - he paid for Nana's father surgery, he was kind to those kids, and he wants to take down the target without murder. Oh, young man, you are gonna go through hell and a half in this drama.

Also, I love how even this early on, he is so gone for her. He knows she's the girl whose picture he fixated on in hell jungle. And what better way to angst than in the shower? Man, I miss those glorious old school angsty kdrama shower scenes.

But I think my favorite sequence in this whole ep and the one that speaks volumes is what happens after he goes to her apartment (after carrying her four flights of stairs since she sprained her ankle.) It's an almost throwaway moment but it says so much. He sees all these markings on the wall and asks her what the weird numbers and notches are all for and she explains, as one would to a somewhat dim small child, that this is how her family would measure her height every month, throughout her childhood, until she was 17. I liked it so much because in those few seconds it established both the warm, loving, thoroughly normal childhood Nana had and what a lack of one he had - that he has to have something this basic explained to him. And then his little pleased grin when he figures out exactly how tall she is in her bare feet compared to him and where she'd come up to on his chest - he's pretty much unknowingly in love with her to bits and so learning little things like that about her make him happy.

The thing that I love so much is that Nana doesn't have a charmed life - her father is in a vegetative state, her mother died in the same accident that made her father that way, and bank was close to taking away everything for debt. But she's had love and warmth and a solid foundation and so she's sunshine - but it's a choice for her and an affirmation, it's not because she's only known sweetness and light.

The scene where she explains the stickers is a very quiet scene I adored - in a way she's an inverse mirror of him. She has a dead parent and one parent who's as good as dead, but she's a good sunny person and not a mess like he is because she was brought up properly. And eventually his being around her drags him into normalcy, which is helped by the fact that he doesn't feel any personal urgency in vengeance. Yeah, all these people killed his supposed father but it's abstract to him - he's never even met the man. He will get rid of them because undaddy basically brainwashed him into it, but he doesn't have an emotional stake in their deaths (even if he has one in the outcome - getting to find his mother and living a normal life, which undaddy dangles like a carrot). However, he has an emotional stake in people he knows - Nana being one of them but other people as well (you can see later, her character basically draws him into interacting with others on personal levels).

You watch him be empathetic and you watch him be teasing and dorky about the ramen and you realize that his demeanor is not just a disguise - it's someone he'd like to be and possibly would have been except for undaddy. And that around her he lets his guard down and allows himself to be childish.

[yohangaontdj]

The Devil Judge Rewatch Ep 8 (Part 1)

We're halfway through the drama and this time, I just have to start from the end cause how can we ever forget this - the highlight of this episode.

The two of them on the bridge, looking in the same direction and finally standing side by side.

Look at Yohan, how immensely satisfied he was like he had gotten what he wanted.

And to me, the next bit that Yohan says, I swear it is his wedding vow.

Instead of the usual - in sickness and in health, in blah blah blah till death do us part. Yohan had instead promised revenge for Gaon's sake. And maybe you might think I'm twisted, but its just so much more better than the usual vow. Cause what better way to show your love than to swear that u will kill and destroy anyone who dare to make your spouse cry (and Gaon did cry a lot in this episode).

Reminds me so much of John Wick which is another series of movies I'm so in love with.

And now, we have Gaon's response that is like what a pair of lovers would say. How it's like the two of them together against the entire world.

Okay the photo above is doctored by me. It didn't happen in the drama and Gaon never said that two words - with you.

But I can't help creating a fake one cause it fits so well with what Gaon had said earlier. And sorry! For misleading you like this and to TVN as well.

And we have Yohan and Gaon staring at each other with so much emotions on their faces.

They must MUST have kissed after this. It will be a sin if they hadn't. Not with the amount of tension between them.

The next bit, let's go back in time to another favourite scene of mine. Gaon walking out on Professor Min and choosing Yohan instead.

And how in the world did Yohan do it? Arriving perfectly on time to pick up Gaon.

Did he make K watch and report to him from somewhere nearby. Or did he get Elijah to hack into every available CCTV in the area?

Even Professor Min hadn't got the time to stand up yet.

And this, nothing more need to be said, except to feast our eyes on it.

And going further back in time, we have a furious Gaon.

Doing this in Yohan's office.

It's just so sensual. The way he took Yohan's chair. Sitting there like he didn't give a damn that this is Yohan's seat of power - his throne in a way. And in the past, if Gaon were to do exactly that, he will have been beheaded for the affront he had caused.

And I love TDJ for the details they had put in. Just one little act - Gaon taking Yohan's chair and we know, he's about to go on an all-out confrontation with Yohan.

And it's just so hot and sexy having Gaon sitting in Yohan's chair. Taking over Yohan's personal space like he had the right to own it. And I like to imagine Yohan and Gaon, doing something more in that seat that is now shared equally between the two of them.

Have reached my photo limit again and see u in Ep 8, Part 2.

[silviakundera]

Kinnporsche meta that's been sitting in my drafts for months. My Korn and Porsche headcanon...

From episode 1, the moment Korn got the full download on the Porsche & Kinn encounter he saw an opportunity and seized it -- he always from the start expected/anticipated the minor family revolt to happen and he envisioned Porsche on the board as Kinn's "queen piece" who would fight on his side when the uprising happens (an uprising whose timeline he was intentionally accelerating by pretending to be weakened & stepping back for Kinn to lead).

No, he didn't at all plan for them to fall in romantic love (mostly cause he wouldn't want anything distracting Kinn at this perilous time!). But he wanted Porsche's loyalty to be earned, he wanted to seize this chance to bring his foster sister's kids back into the fold, and I think he immediately saw the possibility of Porsche as the inevitable replacement as minor family leader. A leader he could actually trust, unlike Gun & Vegas.

Korn is not dumb. By this point he realizes that the "competitive edge" he was getting by the major/minor family at odds was now more trouble than it was worth. Korn isn't a super genius and visionary, he's just really good at leading an organized crime syndicate. So he can't psychically predict every step people will take. He's simply excellent at reacting to circumstances and cleverly pivoting from his mistakes. He doesn't need to follow an intricate master plan, that's for palace drama master strategists. He's just a gangster after all; he leverages his experience and improvises.

Korn is never too worried that Porsche is making a poor bodyguard. Or that Porsche isn't particularly docile/servile. Because he never intended to hire another Pol or Big. As Gun himself notes, Korn is giving multiple chances to this guy, which is out of character. And from the start, Korn is bemused at Porsche making demands, expressing his wants. Like with Kinn he can be firm & stern, but then permissive when he thinks the situation call for it. He's ok with some pushback and (temporary) rebellion. He's reluctantly amused at Kinn's antics with the Italians in ep 1 and then we see this attitude mirrored as he lets Porsche be a touch disrespectful and then enables his pettiness towards Big & Ken. (which is a signicant clue to Porsche's special identity™).

He guides with a heavy, manipulative hand but he wants his sons to obey willingly and not entirely unhappliy.

In episode 5, I find their encounter absolutely fascinating -- Porsche openly admits his unhappiness to Korn, which is actually not that bizarre when you consider that Korn has been fairly pleasant to him! And Korn, in his usual double-speak, talks about how if you make a mistake you can just correct it.. This conversation has always struck me as Korn admitting he mishandled things and is partially at fault for Porsche feeling things had become irreconcilable. But he's not gonna directly apologize... just give Porsche extra special privileges he wouldn't give to any other cranky guard who is bad at his job.

And then when it turns unto a huge security risk and Kinn almost dies - Korn doesn't scapegoat Porsche and publically punish him. Again we see that he doesn't make the same error twice. He's figured out Porsche's motivators now.

The way he takes these huge swinging risks on faith, letting Porsche point a gun at his head more than once and believing his sons will defeat his brother's bloody takeover -- he'll always be one of my fav drama villains.

Korn wins at the end, smugly satisified to have rewritten the narrative and admiring the Kinn & Porsche pieces who ended up almost exactly in the places he intended on the board. And you know what, give the man a hand he deserved it.

[sherlock-is-ace]

I've started watching Monk (literally only the first ep so far) and I have thoughts...

Well first of all I know the show is old and some things are not so great... and there's been a few things, even in just one episode I could have lived without and some that actively annoyed me. That said, I'm really liking it so far!

I really like the character of Monk. I like that he seems like a very nice guy. He's the Quirky & Wierd™ type but he's not rude or mean or has an air of superiority like a lot of neurodivergent characters in media. As I said, I've only watched one episode but so far he's been attentive and kind and hapily accepted being mistaken in his deductions.

Yet, I can see exactly what the writers are trying to do with this character by the actions of everyone around him, and this is what bothers me the most (again, even in this one single episode I've watched). Everyone is so fed up with Monk all the time! Even when he doesn't do anything particularly frustrating...

Monk has OCD (and possibly more things? idk), he does seemingly weird and nonesensical things, he has particular needs and methods of doing things. These can be annoying and/or frustrating to neurotypical people, sure, but most regular characters know about Monk's OCD, couldn't they be even slightly more tolerant, especially the woman that works for him?! I guess it's good representation of what real people have to go through lol but still!

I can tell the writers want me to believe Monk is annoying, and perhaps some things will annoy me in the future, but they're setting the bar really low right now. For example, there's a moment within the first 5 minutes of episode one, where Monk is talking about the case he's working on, he's communicating his findings, he's being correct and giving the police the answers they've missed, all while repeatedly tapping on a desk lamp (without any noise btw). And the whole time, every police officer and even Sharona herself are focused on that action. She's even asking him to stop again and again. WHY?! He wsn't annoing anyone, he was doing his job and correctly, he was communicating clearly, he was distracted by compulsive thoughts but that was not hindering his work in the slightest... The writters insist that we as viewers have to find Monk annoying and stupid, I suspect so that when the drama of the show peaks and we see him break we'll start liking him? see him in a different light? go "ahh see? he wasn't that annoying"?

There's also some other things, that are not connected to his OCD which I feel like are added for comedic effect as well as to make the character seem stupid and/or childish and sort of justify that contempt. Which in a way, yeah it's good that a character has trait unrelated to his diagnosis, but I'm not sure these traits are the best to have for this character... Like getting stuck on small chairs when he could have easily chosen a different one, or not knowing how to cook, etc etc.

I don't know, it bothers me a little but not in a way that makes the show unwatchable. It's just something to keep in mind while watching it I guess.

Ok wow that was long. If you made it and read this far... why? lol thank you for listening to my rambling about Monk while having not watched more than the first episode. Something to applaud tho? the music!! fucking bangers! for both the opening and end credits!! :D

[cha-ra-nui]

Awards Section

This is the awards section of my 2023 retrospective. The other parts of the retrospective are linked below.

Playlist | Prefix | Part 1: Music | Part 2: Anime and Other Media | Awards Section

Song of the Year:

WOODZ – Drowing: WOODZ has Album of the Year secured with OO-LI, no question about that. But when it comes to a single song, as good as Drowing is, I think I just love the EP more as a whole. If he’d just dropped Drowing as a single it might’ve taken the title.

Key – Easy: I can’t give it to Key again. Not three years in a row, and certainly not for this song. Killer or Heartless I could maybe justify, but I didn’t nominate them, I nominated Easy. I can’t even explain why I love it so much. Is it the best song I heard all year? No. But it’s my most played track anyway.

Sam Haft, Andrew Underberg, Alex Brightman – 2 Minutes Notice: I have half a mind to give it to this. Wouldn’t that be funny, a showtune from a YouTube cartoon taking SOTY? Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Haaaaaa… It would be funnier it wasn’t seriously a top candidate for that title.

Winner: King Gnu – SPECIALZ This is it. SOTY for a group I never expected to hand it to. Not because I disliked them or anything, I enjoyed every time they crossed my path. But because SOTY usually goes to an artist I love, and I only know King Gnu from their Anime tie-ins. And normally if a group delivers a song this good I would be digging my way through their albums, but I’m not. This song is special, and don’t want context for it.

Album of the Year:

Key – Killer: A stretch, I’m aware. In fact, the only reason why this isn’t getting the title is because 11/14 songs already released in 2022, and it got album of the year then. It’s by far my most played record of 2023 though, and one of my favorite K-pop albums period.

Onew – Circle: Yeah, I know, just nominate every SHINee solo, will you? No, I won’t. Taemin’s just missed out. See, I’m totally not biased, Circle was just that good. A stunningly beautiful album start to finish.

Ryugujo – 2 Much: Debut of the year, hands down. Ryugujo’s first EP is exactly as fierce as Avu-chan wanted, and I found this group impossible to look away from ever since.

Albums that I regularly listened to in full and therefore get my recommendation but missed out on a nomination, in no particular order:

VIXX – Continuum: Far from their strongest work, otherwise it would’ve taken the title by default. But even with half the members missing, it’s still VIXX, and it’s the best K-pop boy group record released in 2023.

æspa – Drama: I have no excuse; this is just fun. Sometimes you need an EP that isn’t ashamed of being batshit K-pop.

Red Velvet – Chill Kill: Very pretty and cohesive album. SM saves all their pleasant-sounding music for their girl groups.

Purple Kiss – Cabin Fever: Purple Kiss’ best EP to date.

Dreamcatcher – VillainS: Enjoyed this EP way more than I thought I would.

Kiss Of Life – Born To Be XX: These girls are going places.

Winner: WOODZ – OO-LI There was never any doubt about which release would take album of the year, because WOODZ utterly obliterated the competition. Every other nomination, including the Key album that is totally not from the year before anyway, at least has one song I don’t care for. But OO-LI never misses. Not even 7/10 misses. Every single song on this EP stands out, and they come together beautifully. WOODZ is enlisting this January, and I already don’t know what to do without being able to rely on him to deliver great comebacks for the next two years. Come back safely, and never stop making music.

Artist of the Year:

I keep struggling with this one because most of my favorite releases tend to be from tenure artists who drop one comeback and then vanish for the rest of the year. If you asked me who I admired the most, it would be WOODZ. If you asked me who I listened to the most, it would be Key. If you asked me who surprised me the most, it would be Ryugujo. If you asked me who had the most releases I loved though, I’m stuck. The list of artists who released more than one album which I enjoyed is short. Dreamcatcher, Kiss Of Life, æspa, and that’s it, I’m stuck. So you know what? Fuck it. I won’t get the chance to do that again for two years.

Winner: WOODZ Between OO-LI, a world tour, and Amnesia, WOODZ had a great year. He hasn’t missed once in his career, but right now he’s on a level of his own. No one else active this year has delivered this level of consistency and quality. WOODZ is a gem, and I don’t think it’s possible to lavish his music with too much praise right now.

Miscellaneous Music:

Best Music Video: Heartsteel – Paranoia

Best Choreography: Le Sserafim – Eve, Psyche & The Bluebird’s Wife

Best Debut Single: Ryugujo – 2 Much

Top 15 B-sides (no videos, only one entry per artist):

Key – Heartless

WOODZ – Busted

Taemin – She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

Infinite – Time Difference

Kim Sejeong – Jenga

Red Velvet – One Kiss

Onew – No Parachute

VIXX – Savage

Purple Kiss – T4ke

Dreamcatcher – Propose

æspa – Don’t Blink

IVE – Blue Blood

SHINee – Identity

ATEEZ – Dune

U-Know – Tarantino

Best Insert Song: Helluva Boss – 2 Minutes Notice

Other Media

Game Of The Year: The Legend Of Zelda – Tears Of The Kingdom Not the most creative pick, but sometimes Nintendo delivers, and their games are magical when they do.

Anime Of The Year: Link Click Season 2 Since I didn’t watch everything I wanted to get to, this might change in hindsight, once I feel better and catch up with shows like Oshi no Ko, Vinland Saga, and Tengoku Daimakyou. Jujutsu Kaisen also had a strong season, and Shounen does not get much better than its Hidden Inventory and Shibuya Incident arcs, but ultimately Link Click is the show I cared about the most. Everything in this show feels intentional. Every mystery has a satisfying pay-off, and that earns it enough trust from the audience to expect a satisfying continuation (and hopefully conclusion) in the already confirmed third season. I for one can’t wait to see what happens next and considering the time travel aspect of the show and season two’s final twist, what already happened. I love the characters and want to see them get out of this story safe and sound.

Opening Of The Year: Link Click Season 2 There was competition, certainly, but in the end, nothing touched this masterpiece. They made a song that would sound good played forwards and backwards, just so they could rewind the opening. It looks great and is a great fit for a time travel mystery. I got to respect the craft that went into this.

Ending Of The Year: Oshi No Ko I didn’t have much opportunity to mention Queen Bee in this retrospective, but they delivered on this ending theme.

Movie Of The Year: Oppenheimer I have half a mind to praise Puss In Boots more, but Oppenheimer is a staggeringly well made movie, and I would be remiss if I didn’t give it the crown.

[bean-in-dice]

Journey to Love Thoughts

Ep 4

1. I can usually absorb information at a fast pace so I normally watch everything on 2x, but I can't even 1.5x this one. There's SO much happening every second! Not a single moment is wasted.

2. The Powerpuff Bois are VERY nice when they aren't doing the BANG entrance thing which just degrades the serious tone.

It always helps when the supporting actors are not complete newbies but have experience leading their own dramas, it really shows. I love the combined main character energy 😍

3. I love it even more when a show has a meimei character whom all the main lead geges want to protect

Like, she's living the dream

(Xiuxiu from DMBJ disagrees)

4. Our girl Chen Xiaoyun is killing it 😌

Ep 5

1. I know I'm being redundant but what a powerhouse cast. I love how Liu Shishi precisely controls her commanding presence just so to hold her above and mature above the rest and at the same time to be just another corner of their league. And her character behaves exactly like how you'd want a trained assassin/spy to, thank goodness. I also really really love Yang Ying, she's so REALISTIC for someone in her position but not annoying at all and so wholesomely attracts everyone's empathy. Qian Zhao with his deadpan humor and bombastic side eye, Shisan with his glorious Wen Kexing-ness... etc etc etc... it's not easy for a huge ensemble drama to give all the characters the spotlight they due and not tire out the audience!

2. Speaking of Alen Fang Yilun, I really want to see him as Zhang Qiling in a DMBJ adaptation now. His facial structure reminds me of Xiao Yuliang. He has enough experience playing both main leads and just as charismatic second main leads, he has enough commanding presence. Sharp gaze, fluid moves….

And he's such a funny lil guy lol

Ep 6

1. Ning ge and Ruyi jie making meimei understand what it means to be a nepo baby and feminism gotta be one of the most wholesome things I've ever seen in a while. That was immaculate.

2. Gaah this show is so good!!! How I wish the color palette, costuming, hair and screen scaling was complimentary to the vibe, it would've looked SO epic!

Ep 7

1. Thanks for that lil treat for gays 😌

2. Thanks for that BIG treat for lesbians too🤭

[le-trash-prince]

Only Friends Episode 12 Thoughts

Overall, I think I'm pretty okay with how things ended! I didn't get everything exactly as I wanted, but I don't need a show to be perfect, and I got enough to chew on to make me happy.

I am sad that BostonNick didn't end up together, even though I know it was the right call, and it was honestly a better ending for them than what I was scared we would get LOL. Like usual I'll just make a separate post for this because I've got a lot to say about them

I do think Boston was owed more of an apology from his friends than what he got, but I'm not that surprised he didn't get it, and it's probably for the best that they're parting ways. And honestly, when a person is leaving the country, it can be easier to just say "Why bother apologizing if they don't give a shit anyways."

I know people were dissatisfied with Cheum's characterization as of Ep 11, but this episode really solidified how I see her--as someone who wants things to be happy on the surface and doesn't know how to really honestly confront what it is that people need. As the woman in the group, she's under pressure to be the peacekeeper and the nurturing influence and I don't think that role comes naturally to her. She's not good at it, and she shouldn't have to be. And I do honestly like that she was written that way. I wish she had gotten more screentime over the series, and maybe that could happen in a spinoff/sequel with some queer lady writers on the team. (I just finished the ep so I haven't looked at any announcements from the event on Saturday)

I do wish this series had been longer because it seemed it really had a lot of story to tell and not enough time to do it. But a longer season would also have been more stressful to deal with lmfao.

Some things I would have loved to see more of, off the top of my head: Daddy Dan, Sand's dad, Ray in rehab, Boeing.

I'm generally okay with where TopMew has ended up, and while I think there's more that could be explored in a future story, the only thing that really interests me regarding their relationship is Mew's physicality. But I would still like to see more growth from Mew, and I would like to know Top as a person because so much of his behavior and even his plans for the future are wrapped up in Mew.

I think SandRay ended on as satisfactory a note as could be managed. Did Ray's behavior towards Boeing piss me off? Sure. Do I think he needs more time to get his life together? Sure. Do I need a story to have its characters Do Every Correct Action Until Maximum Healthiness Is Achieved? No. They're talking things out and figuring out their relationship and that's what matters.

I am really gonna need that flight attendant!Boeing x NYC!Boston spinoff now thank you very much.

I don't hate the idea of a second season as much as I thought it would, although maybe it's because I'm biased and would want a season with BostonNick or Boston and Nick taking more central roles. I've gotten what I need out of TopMew and SandRay, but I think there's more story to be explored with other characters, and I wouldn't hate that. But I would hate to see tired breakup-drama second season tropes.

Debating whether I even want to catch up on everyone's reactions because I'm sure the ending was just loose enough to be divisive. Anyways I'm gonna go wrap up my playlist now bye lol

[fluffypotatey]

Leverage Ep 11 >:3

Pre-game thoughts:

ngl the last episode was a lot of fun! got to see Nate at his breaking point, Sophie being the best (as always), ALEC AND ELIOT DUO!!!!!

also it looks like this one focuses on Parker? (at least, that’s what the blurb says 🤷🏻‍♀️) so praying for more moments for my ot3 🥰 either as duos or altogether, I do not care. just want them to have screen time 

anyway, can’t really think of anything else to add???

I mean, this is the last episode before the 2-parter finale, so I’m curious if this will touch on…..the ✨insurance company✨and that uh Crowley-looking dude (unrelated to GO!Crowley, a show I should also watch)

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT ON WITH THE SHOW ✨ 

Reaction:

ooooooh a flashback 👀

Ok that was not a safe dose

AHHHHHH THE STOVE

NOOOOOOOOO ERNESTO

is he dead?????

oooooooooh team drama 👀

lmaooooo parents (Nate/Sophie) using jury duty as a lesson

“Yeah, I know jury duty, this seems legit” <- has only gone once

OooooOOOoooooOoOooh defendant is wearing colored shades, he must be an asshole 😂

WAIT WHAT

WHO IS FILMING THE CASE???? IS THAT LEGAL????

babe, please step the fuck away from the jury panel. i would not be in favor of you anyways with you standing so close wtf

oop! she knows!!! fuck they’re gonna strike her out 

ok but seriously who are those camera people???? are they even a real legal team???? the ick is strong, I hope they burn this other team to the ground

YES PARKER

CONVINCE THEM

SHUT NATE YOU WERE A SLIMY INSURANCE MAN BEFORE YOU DONT GET TO TALK

everybody giving Nate the stink eye, yesssssssssss 

(You would think, with how much I yell at this man, I hate him, but tis the opposite! Love him. He’s just an asshole, and I would never like him in person, great character <3)

OMFG ALEC BACKSTORY??????

YES PLEASE

NANA YOU BADASS

ELIOT AND PARKER DUOOOOOO

FUCK YES

Lmao he took the beer

literally before clicking play I was like “you know, I don’t think Parker and Eliot have been a duo yet” AND HERE WE GO

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

nO glasses guy 🫢 was a faker?! <- is not shocked

jfc Alec is good 😍

ok what you doing Parker? oh wait nvm 

Chess???? lmao you nerd

“Hmmmm how do we show an evil character is smart…..I KNOW! Chess!”

ohhhhhh big pharma ok (can’t believe it took me this long)

WAIT WE DOING POISONED APPLE

ugh no we’re not

oh shit bribery????

ELIOT PLAYS CHESS???? you fucking nerd 💕

lmao Parker gets a lesson in social interaction (I’m so sorry, girlie, I’d hate it too, but tbh I also befriended an older lady while at jury duty so same????)

it’s ok Parker you tried your best 🫂

“I have a peanut allergy” <- love you Alec 

Nate, I sure hope you don’t regret that honeypot plan

OHHHHHHHHH oh dear ok now the brownface comments make sense

Ok show’s age has been shown

jfc Sophie wtf please tell me this is the only episode where this happened 

“I’m very spiritual” <- 🤢 god how many times have I heard this

Jesus H Christ I can’t even look at her T^T

awwwww Sophie is helping Parker

ELIOT YOU ARE SO CUTE

HES TRYING

PARKER YOU CUTIE 🥰 

i want Parker and the grandma to be friends. Like best friends

lmaooooooo she’s foreman now (I don’t think I spelled that right)

girlie, you sound like you’re giving the old man a job interview 😂

SHE GONNA BUY OUT THE LAWYER???? 

He won’t

Nate noooooooooo

ALEC

YES

MY BOY

HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN A SUIT

but also shit they are treading the legality there (<- she says even tho they do this every episode)

“Do you trust your government, Ms. Vargas?” ALEC 😂😂😂😂 bringing back the old teachings of being a Jehova Witness i see

WE ARE BARELY HALFWAY?????? (Sorry just looked at the time stamp  what do you mean it’s only been 20 minutes????)

“is that a high school yearbook?” oh my god

Alec, babe, love you, but what

ALEC I LOVE YOU

girlie you could say cauliflower steak

Awwwwwwwwwwww Parker has a friend 🤧🤧🤧🤧

Alec’s headshot is beautiful 

“It all checks out unless [says an example of exactly what Alec did]”

Ooooooh outsource mention 👀 

Nate there are cameras!!!!

“You know why they say, ‘Justice has a blindfold’? Because Justice is asleep” FUCKING DEAD

ok bro this isn’t jury duty anymore this is a trial???? did I miss the part where they finished jury selection 

OH SO HE’S AN ACTOR???

lmaooooo he was Scottish 

Awwwwwwwww Parker 🥺 “she likes rainy days” im fucking sobbing

Ok now that’s why we were only halfway 

“We win the trial” LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

Hehe Alec has to actually win the trial

“You think lawyers aren’t just pretending and trying to fill in daddy’s shoes” ok, uh, wow 💔 

SHE GOT A BAG LUNCH 🥺🤧

Eliot on another parents trip!!!

wait who is he fighting???? Oh ok

Nate, you look so fucking dumb 😂

*gasp* THAT MEDICAL MAN IS LYING FIGHT HIM ALEC

oh ho ho! bringing up his qualifications I see 👀 why he now only doing cases in Cali 👀

OH HO 👀

HE BROUGHT UP BIN LADEN 👀

GET HIS ASS ALEC! FUCK HIM UP!!! FUCK! HIM! UP!

Alex’s closing statement 👀 omg 🥺 yes babe 🤧 beautiful 💐 take my flowers 💐💐💐💐💐

jfc I’m nervous!!!! I know this will end happy but still!!!! So nervous 🫠

nooooo, she must not figure out 🫠

Oh dear, 

OH YES THEY TURNED OFF THE TV WONDERFUL

lol yesssss girlie, burn that fucking bridge!!!! BURN THE BRIDGE!!!! DIG THAT HOLE!!!!

unrelated but her jacket is super pretty

ok ok here we go. fuck I’m nervous 

YESSSSS LETS GO BITCH

FUCK YEAH MESS WITH THEIR CAMERA

why are you revealing yourself to her????? bro she could find people to get you!!!!

OMG SHE MADE A FRIEND! GET THAT COFFEE

Final Thoughts:

this episode was so much fun!!!! we may not have gotten much of the Parker/Eliot duo but I’m still happy that they got to tag-team! Parker learning how to socialize, be a team player, and lead was just 👌👌👌👌👌👌 wonderful so proud of her T^T Alec was amazing (obviously) and fucking killed both for stalling the case and winning it <3

not as much Nate/Sophie moments besides them acting like parents to their teammates and being a well-oiled machine 😎 so I’m still satisfied! a little disappointed that there wasn’t any hint for the finale but that might just be because of the messed up order again 😔 

overall: wonderful episode, this might be my favorite of the season (tho Miracle Job still has my heart)