#every other spell and attack gets at least a 15 somehow

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

The stupid running joke of me perpetually rolling horribly when trying to cast Acid Splash during DnD is not funny anymore. It’s been 7 sessions and I still somehow keep failing this silly little cantrip!!!!!

[jeweledstone]

Yet Another Spamton TF Dream I Had a Few Nights Ago (but this time I’m not the one being turned into him somehow)

I had a dream not that long ago that involved yet more Spamton TF nonsense and was actually kinda funny tbh. This one’s gonna be pretty long, mostly cause so much happened in it that’s drawing worthy and I plan to draw EVERYTHING (or at least everything important) and put it in this post. Think the kinnie avengers dream I had a while back but WORSE.

Ok, so to put in a bit of context, this dream took place when I was in high school (I still had my Spamton plushie though cause I was sleeping with him and I guess he wanted to be part of the dream too despite the time paradox). It was April Fools Day, and every year, the school would have some kinda supernatural prank/gimmick that would affect every person in the school. This year, the gimmick was that everyone was transformed into different anthropomorphic animals. Most of them were mice, but there were other animals too (Spam got turned into a woodpecker, which we both agreed was pretty cool).

It was all going like normal (or as normal as a day like this could be) until we ended up meeting this random other student who was semi-responsible for how the plot of this dream went out. Apparently she was a witch of some sort and really hated the April Fools gimmicks that happened every year, so she would always try to reverse them using this magic green ring of sorts that she always wore.

The way she was undoing this year’s gimmick was by going around finding transformed students and having them wear her ring while she said this chant/spell that would reverse the transformation. When my “turn” came to put the ring on, I made a kinda sorta joke comparing the seemingly meaningless language she said the spell in to one of those nonsense words from internet memes, only for the word/phrase I said ending up being an ACTUAL magic spell which turned whoever heard it into… well you get the idea…

(My entire sense of humor is based off dead memes, I still think skibidi bop mm dada is funny, gimme a break)

So it was upon that discovery that me and Plush!Spam decided to do a little “April Fools Day prank” on the entire school by sneaking into the principal’s office and using that loudspeaker mic thing all the schools in my district had to turn everyone else in the school at the time into a bunch of Spamton clones. Chaos ensues, naturally, and it wasn’t long before they found out I was the one who did it. (Granted I didn’t do a good job of hiding it and I was the only one left who was human) Cut to me and Plush being chased by a hoard of angry Spamtons before being caught and forced to change everyone back.

Now, in a normal 15 minute episode of the shitty anime that is my dreams, that’s where it all would end. But this dream ended up having a part 2 when I fell back to sleep. A few months after the April fools incident, we found out that not everyone who was Spamified that day was turned back. There was this one kid, I think her name was Jess or something, who was known for being not that popular and getting bullied a lot for being short. When everyone was turned into Spamton, Jess was one of the few ones who weren’t instantly horrified by their transformation. In fact, she actually liked it much better than being human, something about this new body just felt… “right”… As you could probably expect, when she(he?) heard that I was being forced to turn everyone back to normal, she ran away from the school so she wouldn’t be affected and could stay as a Spam for as long as she wanted (maybe even forever).

Cut to “present day” and Jess returns to the school, now having mutated into a monstrous Spamton Neo due to the magic that originally transformed his slowly corrupting over the time he was missing. At this point, he started attacking and devouring anyone he came across before leaving the school to destroy the rest of the town. Eventually me and the remaining students were forced to track him down and use the magic ring thingy to change him back to normal in order to prevent any further destruction.

And, yeah, that’s it. Honestly I procrastinated on making this post for a bit longer than I thought I would, sorry about that. But either way, hope you at least got a bit of enjoyment outta this shit. I gotta go work on the next page of The Hallways before I go to bed so see y’all tomorrow I guess! :)

[incarnateirony]

An anti dressed up as a shipper, an idiot, and a terf all walk into the same bar.

It’s the same picture person.

A lesson.

Warning: if the title doesn’t give it away, queerphobic content comes up in this from the other party being documented.

So, some of you may have watched a twitter exercise yesterday.

It started simple: concern trolling white knight “for the writers” comes in to angrily declare fans doing something tagged in support of them about Destiel was “out of line.” She claimed things like “Misha was gaslit into supporting Destiel”, and pulled all kinds of stunts.

She immediately got on a soap box yelling “I HAVE A LIT CRIT DEGREE, I KNOW AUTHOR INTENT” of course implying she knew better than EVERYONE around her how to read text. She then pulled, of all things, @chill-legilimens​​ ‘ article about the network gods gutting the show out of the internet, and somehow misread it SO FUCKING BADLY -- SO FUCKING BADLY -- she thought it aligned with HER. She argued that fans influenced the writers, essentially, and basically pulled the exact opposite of the very clearly delivered message there out. When it was pointed out we know this author and even sometimes help edit their pieces, and she was, flat out misreading it while bragging about how good she is at deciphering text, it turned into a SHITSHOW.

I had watched her give a large group of queer people 2 days of runaround, while they tried to be polite, and similarly tried to prove everything while she proved nothing. Just preached. After 2 days of them exhausting themselves on her, I came in doing my blunt & savage thing, because fuck civility culture when it’s used by oppressors. Of course, she immediately started tone policing, while herself being an arrogant shitbrick the whole way.

She continued to preach author intent and talk down about “headcanons.” You see, she knew the authors very well. Berens’ name was mentioned in passing, and she came back with. “Who’s Berens? Is that the author of the article?” after Deirdre’s name had been directly cited in associated with it about 15 times.

(credit: @judgehangman​ )

But it gets better. She started pulling the “authors have said Dean is straight.” line. Now, at this point, we had already sourced her at least four pieces of information (quite formally too: SPN Official DVD Collection Season 8 episode 13 creative commentary, Edlund and Sgriccia; Dissent Magazine The Attack Queers Bob Berens review; the books in the office with screenshots, and more.) So we issued one simple request: Okay. Source.

For the next-- I shit you not-- 10 hours she bricked the thread to death, finding any and EVERY rabbit hole she could try to venture down. For the first hour or two a few of us tried to actually debate her newly raised points, but still gave reminder that we were waiting for her source. Every tweet was an opportunity for her to drop a 15 tweet thread trying to derail onto a new topic, and often clarifying she had no idea about any of it (Edlund, Sgriccia, Berens, Dabb--who she couldn’t spell the name of--and Deirdre all became an amorpheous blob in her retelling that she swore she looked at sources and wasn’t convinced, while she crossed all the data and comments about the sources). She tried to challenge that anyone could know all the writers and episodes just because she proved she couldn’t, even when multiple people expressed it to her extremely rapidly with not just author and director listings, but cross references on when they overlapped and major elements (like the 15.20 shot 19 tree being the Kim Manners memorial tree). She randomly babbled about Kripke once. Lied her way through and claimed those sources were vague. Etc.

But at some point, I decided, we’re not playing this distraction game. You wanted a debate, you claim you have a lit crit degree, and thus know the entire art is Argumentation. A source, if you’re declaring knowing author intent. One source. Any time she dropped a distraction tweet, I replied to her thread with things like a list of our sources vs her lack of any and a reminder. I installed a counter ticker. How many times had she been asked to either recant her point or give a single source?

Someone made a list of the logical fallacies she used in the argument. It was two tweets long and still missed several obvious ones. That didn’t stop her. Neither did the dozens of requests for a source or a recant. Onwards, she marched, derailing time and again. She brought in a buddy to try to distract, but he fell out real quick when he realized “the burden of proof lies on the arguer” shot him and her both in the feet in record time and he ducked out. 

Other greatest hits came out like “Dubs (Dabb’s) fanfic books”, and calling the ability to list authors and episodes “headcanons.”

Over time, the dialogue shifted: see, she came in trying the snide “enjoy your headcanons” downtalk, but as time and time again she was pulverized on every point about the show, or the authors, or anything else while STILL never even giving a single source to even her FIRST POINT and running distractions, it became a reality-- she was told, “We’ll enjoy our canon and author intent. You can enjoy your headcanon of... Dabb’s fanfic books and Lord Barons and the writers being collective hallucinations and whatever else in your hot takes about the show content itself” and she FLIPPED SHIT. 

As the ticker for sources approached 100, she started becoming flustered. Before that, even, she started repetitively misgendering Ezra (no tumblr to link in), and Ezra screenshot their bio of they/them and asked them to adjust. Ignored. Ezra linked this request and asked it to be addressed again, and again, and again. 13 times. Ezra linked it 13 times. She even replied to several of them. No avail. No change. Not until literally any and every tweet in her vicinity either had “source?” or “address gender?” for her to reply to did she flee there, and write some giant write-around of “oh, I didn’t see this, sorry” but still refused to actually use it. Or “I’ll use the right one now.” No, just completely strickened pronouns from her vocabulary with Ezra moving forward, after not one mistake, not two, not five, but 13 answers.

At this point, I notice a trend: throughout the entire conversation, she had flip flopped on my pronouns, clearly confused as to what to call me. As I generally don’t care (honestly I prefer he but meh), it didn’t ping me as something to react to while she switched religiously between “he” and “she”. But I realized now, despite all of that confusion: she never once thought to use “they.” Also earlier we found tweets of hers that, while now declaring herself bisexual, she used troublesome wording in the past to blur the line on if she was an ally or, as she phrased it “maybe less than 100% straight in the bell curve” in other conversations.

I mutter about this on the side to Ezra and some friends, but continue on towards the 100 ticker that was the goal to show people in this digital terrarium how disingenuous most people you argue with are -- an exhibit for the class. They know they’re lying and have been caught, but will not cede to admit “oops, I guess I was wrong.” but rather stick, unironically, to their own headcanons about things. After all, they vaguely sorta apologized even if suddenly just refusing to use any pronouns at all on Ezra after that. And she’s so quick to disappear into 15 tweet bombs of distraction trying to play victim for being held accountable at this point, we just didn’t jump to a conclusion on that, alarming as it is.

So. You know. Source.

At this point, she RANDOMLY starts evoking the fact that like, How Dare, She Watched Gay Men Die To AIDS, She Is A Great Philanthropist How Dare How Dare. 

I’m sorry, did you just evoke the blood of our dead to run away from the most basic scrap of accountability in what is literally the first wave of a lit debate because for the last 10 hours you have refused to take the necessary steps to move on to the next point? Did you... just... evoke the ghosts of gay men that were genocided to, essentially, pull up a smokescreen and run away from being party to queer erasure? Or even just? Giving a source? or admitting you were wrong on one point in a debate? Wow, you really just did that. 

Naturally, people involved got pissed. Her Sources ticker hit 100, but at this point, all that haunted her was how completely fucking vile and inappropriate that was in this discussion. 

She got blocked. She then tried to glom onto anyone that hadn’t blocked or muted her and run the same argumentation points she had earlier been decimated in the argument with, while yelling “I ship Destiel too! I wanted them to have sex too! Why does this make me the bad guy?” around the block and hoping nobody actually read the thread. She tried to pitch the “headcanons” point of view again, hoping a new audience would lick her boots. She was, largely, ignored; given a few more comments about her leaving the conversation losing all points and only covered in the blood of our dead she was so proud of; blocked by a few more. (unsurprisingly, if you check her actual tweet history, she seems more invested in Megstiel but)

This is when CommaSameleon -- a professor with two lit degrees and a primary focus in teaching the art of Argumentation -- literally -- stepped in. She initially tried to engage the fact that, well, this woman not only can’t argue out of a paper sack but wasn’t even arguing, she was just running in circles and distracting from all the points and hadn’t addressed a single lit point directly while preaching down at people. But Sam, also, noticed something. This woman kept changing things like “queerphobia” to “homophobia.” Sam mentioned this kinda puts off TERF vibes (I think Sam picked up on the gendering thing herself too.)

Her response? Which she deleted since? But Discord’s embed helpfully saved?

Her inacted non-apologies remain weak, especially in any form of debate be it lit or now queer topics.

Oh I’m sorry, let’s recap her viewpoints: TERF is a slur. “They” is made up and should be avoided at all costs. The blood of dead gay men are a token to use in a lit debate you’re avoiding responsibility in. After this, “authors are headcanons” is suddenly not your worst take, but fascinating that you 13 times didn’t even read the blatant ass screenshot. And I mean, these weren’t subtle or easy to miss these 13 times.

100. She had 100 chances, literally, on a timer, to give a source or shut up with her platforming until she had one. Instead, she chose every rabbit hole she could manifest to disappear into, only to be met by another request for a source, and not moving on until we address the first points. We’ve given ours, now you give yours. Instead, you choose this. This is the hill you choose to die on, rather than admitting, “Sorry, I guess I was wrong” or “I guess I heard that somewhere, my bad.” 100 chances. 13 direct QT requests to address gender which she replied to but didn’t reply to until cornered (and still didn’t, truly, reply to), and “TERF is a slur.” Oh, and after waving around the dead men’s blood she also suddenly Can’t Be A Terf Because She Adopted Two Trans Kids. Lord help those children. Or, you know, the more realistic thing is she’s just manifesting all kinds of bullshit at this point to save face, which is probably why she deleted all the related tweets that show she’s a giant-ass TERF.

So anyway, this is very much a lesson on:

Paying attention to how people manipulate conversation to erase genuine discussion and debate.

Paying attention to WHY they do it. Motivation on methods and tactics will clear up a lot.

Figuring out HOW they try to sound woke about shit and when it’s entirely fucking vile and inappropriate to pull

And by all above points, figuring out that these people are among us, and how NOT to let them influence your conversations.

I don’t care if it’s about a discussion on a ship or show or anything else. People do this. A lot. Extremely dedicatedly, if the 100 asks doesn’t make that clear. 

Stop letting people railroad your conversations with disingenuous bullshit.

So anyway in honor of this I made everyone a gif

Use at will. It’s tagged anti-terf if you want to use the search feature on it.

UPDATE: 

Just went and checked. She went and deleted literally her entire side of the conversation, hundreds if not thousands of tweets. Luckily, Ezra mentioned repeatedly -- and I do trust them inherently -- that they were saving the entire conversation, so that zip file exists somewhere. How fascinating, after she accused us that we would want to delete tweets. Someone realized they had a bad look and giant failure all around.

Also, a related anon that links to an earlier part of this conversation I didn’t even document where she was crying about “cis erasure” [x] This shit went on so long I legit forgot about that.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

OC-tober Day 2: Glass

OC-tober prompts put together by @oc-growth-and-development​! I have to ramble in meta instead of write, because my brain is Mush lately. (I know I’m behind but I have a lot pre-written, I just need to put it into coherent words!)

This one especially can be rambled about at length, because the most important “glass” object in my stories is one I greatly enjoy exploring: Dove’s mindscape mirror!

^ I drew it forever ago; here’s the deviantArt link if you’d like to see the big version! 

https://www.deviantart.com/ravenshiddensoul/art/Dove-s-Keepsakes-Mirror-and-Box-284227087

It’s largely modeled after a bird stretching its wings upwards, with a handle like a tail and certain details are inlaid with Azarathean gold to better channel its magics.

Now, this is where the rambling begins: The mirror’s backstory, and I’ll be exploring one of my favorite things to develop in all of my stories: Dove’s mindscape!

Dove's mirror isn't one of her most prized possessions, nor super incredibly sentimental, but it IS an object touched with her mother's magic, it has flourishes of Azarathean gold (some of the last pieces to exist), and it's useful for introspection and self-soothing, so it does have some value and importance.

Dove struggled with meditating quite a lot as a child, and there was only so much her mother could do to help. Meditation was pretty important to them as both a means of helping Dove control her powers, and as a staple of Azarathean spirituality. As she so often did, Alerina poked around and asked enough questions around the temple that she was told about Raven's mirror, and she decided to replicate it for Dove. She custom ordered a gold-lined wooden hand mirror, and then cast the spells to connect it to Dove's inner world herself. It took a few tries (it's much harder to connect something to someone else's mind than your own, after all), but she was nothing if not determined to help her daughter, and eventually figured it out.

As for its main purpose: Self-reflection! (If you'll pardon the pun.) Dove uses it to meditate, but where Raven uses hers for centering and compartmentalization, Dove uses it more as a blend of escapism and a focusing aid.

Much like Raven's, Dove's mirror acts as a portal to the depths of her mind, and this is where it gets fun!

The vortex that transports the users is usually white and gold, imbued with the same energies that give Dove her powers, at least on her mother's side. It's noticeably touched with black and red in DDD. (Dove's evil side starts taking over her mind, and thus its energies manifest through the mindscape, and Dove's portal into it, hence: black and red energies instead.) It tends to open up like a light tunnel and almost opens the mental world around the user, rather than dragging them in.

Once inside, one can't expect to navigate the same way as Beast Boy and Cyborg did in "Nevermore". Every mind is different, after all! We saw Raven's mindscape divided nearly into emotional sections with a neutral space between them, and the way through each area was preset and linear. While different parts of Dove's internal world manifest in different "areas", they're not so totally divided and separate, and there's no real "neutral" zone except at the very "center". The scenery changes, but it's more of a gradual transition, and though Dove employs thresholds to mark key areas, they're very much just visual aids.

Dove's mindscape is laid out more like a series of rooms and courtyards in a very (very, very, very) large mansion. The ground is generally of crystal, spires and columns decorate the scenery, and the thresholds are modeled after birds with their wings outspread. (While this seems like a play on Dove's namesake, it's actually based on Azarath's architecture, particularly that of George Perez's Azarath in the 1980's New Teen Titans comics.)

Dove's sky shows various stars and often casts moonlight from an uncertain source, particularly when she's introspecting. The ambient temperature varies amongst the locations, chilly in the regions ruled by fear and sadness, uncomfortably warm near her demon's domain, and comfortable and breezy where her peace and contentment reside.

One could easily get lost in her mindscape if they don't know where they're going. The place can shift and change on a whim.

Where Dove spends her time building that peace and contentment, it's very closely modeled after her mother's memories of Azarath (which is where she learned how to find peace, after all): there's marble and gold everywhere, and the stars twinkle with dozens of colors in the sky.

Where Dove retreats when there are feelings of timidity, her excruciating shyness, her grief and doubt, the world becomes shrouded in thick fog. Broken buildings and pale light litter the grounds.

Where she built her love for reading, for history, for creativity and study and learning, it's arranged as rooms with dark marbled tile and a carpeted path, the floor for dozens of feet on either side littered with piles of books.

Dove's inner happy place is an open field on gently rolling hills, where thoughts take the form of birds and somehow the sky holds both the stars and suns. One might find trees, flowers, abstract forms of cottages, and forts loaded with mugs and cozy cushions. If you wander far enough you'll find very tall stone walls surrounding it, because Dove's mind is such that her happiness is one of the few things she really truly believes she needs to protect from the rest of herself.

And then there are the aspects of herself that she shoves the deepest down, secreted far away from the surface: the anger, the hunger for power, the mean streak. (Yes, believe it or not, Dove does have a mean streak! You just have to work especially hard to bring it out. Or trigger her in just the right ways around sadism, violence, war, or death. It's very much Not Recommended; bringing too much of that mean streak out could mean Dove loses control of her powers, or worse: her demonic aspects.)

Those secret forces aren't so much located in one particular space of her mind as they're hidden in every dark corner, coursing through the underside of all the ground, a tantalizing power running through every part of her, only ever set free enough to use the dangerous powers to her own ends.

Her places for Fear and Curiosity in particular will be explored in the upcoming Missing: Raven rewrite. (As they're the strongest things Dove is feeling in that story, that's going to be what Beast Boy and Cyborg encounter.) I also explored the way these things manifest in DDD, and in that same story Dove will focus on rebuilding Peace in the final chapter.

I can't talk about Dove's mindscape without mentioning the "emoticlones". These fun little guys are called by the fanon term given to Raven's "emotion clones", the separate parts of her that express a specific set of traits based on particular aspects of her personality. I had so much fun playing with their voices and thoughts in Dove's head during DDD, you have no freaking idea! I also copied the concept of them having Colored Cloaks from Teen Titans canon, because honestly it's a quick and easy way to identify them, and the fandom's familiar with this system through Raven.

Which colors mean what was more inspired by details from a really old, now-defunct website called Cartoon Orbit that had separate "online trading cards" for each of Raven's emoticlones! On that site, Raven's were labeled as such, and this is what I based Dove's system on, loosely: - Pink: "Raven Happy" - Red: "Raven Rage" - Orange: "Raven Rude" - Yellow: "Raven Smart" - Green: "Raven Brave" - Brown: "Raven Fear" (I'm pretty sure there was a purple one, but I don't recall what it was called. "Love" maybe? That might be from fanon; this site was running like 15 years ago, and I was like 10 years old, so I hardly thought to pay Super Special Attention to it...)

But I digress. The point is, I adapted that system for the key aspects of Dove's unique personality, and came to understand them as follows:

- Pink: Joy, relief, coziness - Red: Cruelty, impulsivity, anger - Orange: Apathy, indifference, disregard - Yellow: Curiosity, study, intrigue - Green: Courage, determination, activity - Blue: Contentedness, pacifism, spirituality - Purple: Compassion, friendship, romanticism - Gray: Sadness, grief, longing. - Brown: Fear, fear, fear!

But for Dove's mind in particular, it's not only HER experiences and personality that form the world! She's a telepath, and though she holds others' privacy in very, very high regard and tries never to read someone's mind without their permission, her sense of receptive telepathy is ever-present. Echoes, lights, shadows, reflections of others' memories and thoughts might affect the very edges of her mind. It's a constant sense, but it only ever causes very ephemeral changes unless something deeply affects her.

Her mindscape also grows and changes as Dove grows and changes, experiences life, learns to cope, and changes how she handles her own emotions.

Most notably, the internal struggle in DDD tore her mind apart. Initially it was due to a breakdown of certainty and confidence, hastened by guilt and grief, but it soon became a deliberate tactic to wage war on the parts of Dove's mind that were trying to resist the evil; eventually her inner demon began intentionally breaking/corrupting everything it could touch.

By chapter 20, that evil is the only strong and stable thing in Dove's mind. Raven's attack to remove the evil in her took away that stability, and strength, and thus took away what was essentially the last support holding Dove's mind together. As it says in the story: "everything collapsed". Dove's mindscape was utterly destroyed, and only the most basic aspects of her remained.

For awhile, that left Dove unable to remember things clearly, or feel emotions without great pain. Rebuilding it to the point where she was able to talk and feel Mostly Normally again took months of meditation.

When Dove is kidnapped and Leyla has distressing dreams about her mother, she, Srentha, and Raven use the mirror to check on Dove by accessing her mindscape. With her powers stripped away, surrounded by people who mock her, and certain Fauni rituals sickening Dove to her soul, naturally her mind is very different: shadowy forms flitted at the edges of vision, the ground wavered, her discomfort was thick in the air and the constant fear made everything so, so cold. "Shadows" of others' thoughts flashed in and out of existence, and Dove's desperation manifests as fleeting voices on the wind. It's uncomfortable to be in her mind while she's so distressed.

It's also worth mentioning that her mindscape changes again, essentially "growing" the part of her that belongs to Love when she finally lets herself love Srentha, and it expands again when Leyla's born and Dove once more finds depths of love she didn't know she could carry.

[airgetlamhh]

Thoughts on Lostbelt 2

Longpost ahead.

So.

Lostbelt 2. Finally played it after so long, and this will contain spoilers.

To make sure everyone knows what they’re getting into, I’ll give the thesis statement right here: Lostbelt 2 is bad. 

The entire time I played through the story, I kept waiting for it to pick up. I kept waiting for it to shrug off the poor pacing, the deus ex machinas, the random things just happening for the convenience of the plot. I kept waiting for it to shrug off the poor characterization, the constant telling instead of showing, the moral myopia. It never did. 

From nearly the very start to finish, Lostbelt 2 is bad. 

We start off fairly fine! A desperate ploy to sneak through the Lostbelt to meet up with the allies we’ve learned about, the Wandering Sea, interrupted by a Lostbelt Servant attacking us with the intent of stealing the Paper Moon that allows us to perform Zero Sails. All of that is a decent setup!

And then we’re told how strong this Saber is. How incredible they are. How their swordplay surpasses anything else they’ve ever seen, how they desperately wish that Musashi was there, how no no, he didn’t use his sword, he only parried! Things that Sherlock Holmes observes, not Mashu, not the one who’s actually been fighting for two years now, so Mashu seems borderline useless. Holmes figures out it’s Sigurd because...he uses a sword in a Scandinavian Lostbelt, and he figured out that Holmes used magic because Holmes fire magic lasers at him. From this, Holmes is able to pinpoint Sigurd’s identity, and that’s just the setup for the rest of the chapter, really. 

To be specific, what I mean is that we will constantly be told how incredible someone is with very little evidence, and the plot will bend and warp to make certain things happen. 

The scene does exactly one good thing, which is the foreshadowing of Surtr. Coming into it knowing that aspect allowed me to appreciate little bits like Surtr talking about Heroic Spirits like he wasn’t one, and Surtr not being able to kill Mashu because Sigurd resisted it. But that’s about all that was good in the scene, and all it really does is set up a consistent thing of Surtr being one of the only good parts - until he isn’t, of course.

I’m going to shift here from specifics to characters, because otherwise I’d be rehashing the entire story and I don’t have the time or effort required for that. That being said, it is difficult to decide where to start, so I’ll go right to the very building blocks of the story, the themes. 

Lostbelt 2 is, very obviously, attempting to have a theme of different kinds of love throughout the story. Part of this is because it’s very much set up like an otome game that the author Hikaru Sakurai would write, with Ophelia in the center, but it’s a more general theme too, with Skadi and the others all building up towards it. Now, love is an absolutely wonderful thing to build your themes around, exploring and examining it can be great for stories. Beasts themselves do that, examining different varieties of genuine, but toxic love that allow them to be well-meaning monsters.

The problem is that Lostbelt 2 does not engage with these themes on anything but a surface level. Skadi represents maternal love, so she constantly talks about how everyone is her children and how she’s their mother. No examination of the desire to see her children grow, the pain she feels when they fight, the struggle of forcing herself to cling so tightly knowing that it’s suffocating them and going to kill them before they reach 26. 

Napoleon represents passionate love, so he flirts with every woman he sees. No examination of why he’s so passionate or what drives him to burn so brightly, beyond a token mention that for some reason when he’s summoned he’s driven to seek out a lover, another aspect of things happening to serve the plot. 

Sigurd and Brynhildr represent true, romantic love, so they act mushy the entire chapter from the moment the real Sigurd appears. Now, don’t get me wrong, I liked their scenes a lot and I’m happy that they chose that portrayal instead of the one I was afraid of where it was yandere jokes day in day out. But there’s no engagement with the fundamentals of their love, nothing that tests it, even the existing complications with Brynhildr’s tragic summoning are swept away with a single line of “I can resist them better now maybe because my saint graph is broken”, so ultimately there’s no conflict whatsoever. And sure, that’s nice, but it’s not very good if you’re trying to build your story around a theme of love. 

Next, Surtr, who represents obsessive, dangerous love. I honestly actually think Surtr’s done well, even if the love he happens to represent is the least positive one. Surtr is capable of only one thing, destruction, and when he fell for Ophelia in that moment where she saw him and he saw her, he decided that if he ever had the chance, he would repay her the only way he knew how: allowing her to watch as he destroyed everything. When he’s summoned, he acts basically like the possessive one in an otome game, constantly talking about how Ophelia is his woman, getting angry when Napoleon flirts with her, spending most of his time pushing things between them as far as they can go etc. etc. I’m not particularly a fan of how his desire to repay Ophelia battling against his singular purpose transformed him into a typical possessive bastard boyfriend, but it’s at least engaged with on a deeper level.

Finally, Ophelia. She’s the otome game protagonist here, born into an controlling family and finally freed, hiding a secret special power, beloved by almost all the men involved in the chapter while she’s harboring feelings for someone else, even has the typical friendship route with Mashu going on. Her love is a love that she doesn’t acknowledge, but that’s all it is. It’s never engaged with beyond the fact that she clearly loves Kirschtaria but insists she doesn’t, and her final scene as she dies is Mashu telling her that yes, she did love Kirschtaria. That’s all. 

For a theme of love that’s supposedly woven into the Lostbelt, it’s barely examined at all. It’s not well written, and in comparison to Lostbelt 1′s theme of what it means to live in a world where the strong devour the weak and how deeply it examined and engaged with that, it’s a genuine disappointment.

Now, to move onto the plot, it’s...in the abstract, it’s fine. Chaldea is intercepted and forced to fight in the Lostbelt and ends up dragged into the overarching ploy by Surtr to release himself and burn everything. That’s a perfectly fine story, but the problem is that when you get to the moment-to-moment stuff, it falls apart completely. 

Skadi is constantly talked up as this incredibly powerful true goddess, not merely a Divine Spirit, and we know she can see and hear our every move because of her snow. How does the story work around this borderline omniscience within her Lostbelt? Skadi just decides not to do anything about Chaldea with zero rhyme or reason. We need to sneak into the palace and avoid alerting the guards, except Skadi already knows exactly where we are, except that doesn’t matter because we need to sneak in for some reason. We get captured with no plan to escape, and it just so happens that not only was Skadi keeping a Divine Spirit amalgamation locked in the dungeons too, but that she can piggyback on you making a contract with Napoleon (pure dumb luck you hadn’t done it before) and force a connection with you too, and then cast spells to hide you while you escape. Skadi knows we’re trying to free Brynhildr, who is the sole threat to Sigurd and Skadi’s own Valkyries in the entire Lostbelt? She just decides to do nothing at all. 

So much of the plot happens because either Skadi makes terrible decisions to do nothing, even though she knows Chaldea is there to destroy her entire world, or it happens because random shit goes on that couldn’t have been planned for like Sitonai. Shit like Surtr suddenly becoming Fafnir and being able to use the Evil Dragon Phenomenon to brainwash Ophelia somehow, like Ophelia’s Mystic Eye being able to do anything the plot demands, even when it explicitly goes against its existing capabilities like rewinding time on Sigurd’s wounds, like Bryn and Surtr somehow being able to resist the effects of her eye with no buildup or explanation. It’s poorly written in terms of the exact events that happen, and that all culminates in Skadi’s one cool moment, where she declares she’s going to kill the seven billion we fight for for the sake of her ten thousand...and then right after, it reveals that Skadi was going easy on us and refused to use her runes of instant death for no reason even though she was fighting for the survival of her entire world. The moment to moment plot is not good, and neither is what comes next, the worldbuilding.

In Skadi’s Lostbelt, half the world is covered in Surtr’s flames, while the other half is blanketed in Skadi’s snow. Where the two areas meet are the only places where life can grow, and so Skadi set up villages there. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough food for everyone, so she enforces strict population control: if you are not the mother or father of a child by 15, you are sent away to be killed by the giants. If you are the mother or father of a child, you are sent away to be killed at 25 instead. Through this tragic method, Skadi enforces a limit of 100 villages with 100 people, a total population of 10000. This is all fine. 

But take a closer look at what we actually see, and this falls apart. First, the giants. The giants are immortal and never need to eat. They do nothing but sleep all day and attack any human that comes close to them. Later, it’s revealed that they’ll attack any heat source including Valkyries, except we know that’s not true. Giants never attack each other, they never attack and destroy any of the plant life around them, they never attack the Lostbelt tree seeds, they even fight alongside mass-produced Valkyries before it’s revealed that Skadi and the three originals can mind-control them! They exist only to destroy, but Skadi can control them with her masks and indeed uses them as labour, keeping them chained up in her castle to be brought out and controlled as needed, or using them to guard Brynhildr’s castle. 

Worst of all, the first time we meet anyone in the chapter, it’s Gerda, who is sneaking out of her village to go to the massive liveable area close to Village 23. This area happens to be the only place she can go to get medicinal herbs that she needs or one of the people in her village will die in childbirth. This area is also full of giants, who have not destroyed it despite being fertile and full of life and heat, and who are allowed to take this place that could be used to grow more food for humans who need it, and simply stay there doing nothing. 

Now, this is where I thought the game would engage with things. How Skadi, in professing her love for all her children, is actually being cruel and unfair. They certainly set it up in the conversations she has, where she casually mentions how humans must die for her coexistence to continue. Skadi chooses to keep the giants alive despite the fact that they are all braindead and can do nothing but kill and destroy the moment their masks are removed. She chooses to keep them alive even though it comes at the expense of the humans who must die when the giants never make that same sacrifice. She chooses to allow them fertile land even though they cannot farm nor do they need food, and in doing so deprive the humans of potentially living longer, having more supplies to do so. She makes these strange choices and then later reveals she can control the giants to do her bidding, and it all seems to fall into place. 

What we see from how she’s characterized early on is that the system is unfair and Skadi is unwilling to change, because it benefits her tremendously. Gerda’s village didn’t have enough herbs to save the children forced to breed by 15, and despite Skadi’s omniscience letting her know that Gerda had snuck out and was trying to save a life, she did nothing. There was no system in place to beg a Valkyrie to get these herbs, and no indication whatsoever that Skadi would use her powers to control the giants to save Gerda’s life. The picture painted is someone who cares about humanity not out of true care, but simply out of obligation. Those who disobey her rules, even for good reasons, are left to die by the engines of destruction she keeps alive.

That’s not the story it tells later on, though. Skadi, portrayed from the start as this all-powerful goddess with complete control over everything, is revealed to be far weaker than we thought, and far less monstrous. Ignore all the times she did control the giants, she actually can’t do it all that well. Ignore all the times she declared she would not allow anyone she loved to be killed, but chose not to act to tell her Valkyries or her giants or anything else to save either Chaldea or Gerda. Ignore the evidence we see on screen that there’s more land that’s simply taken over by the giants, Skadi can only make those initial 100 villages and can’t make any more. Skadi is not bad. Skadi did the best she could. Skadi is morally right. 

Please love Skadi, there’s no complicated moral quandary here, she’s just Good.

Comparisons to Lostbelt 1 are impossible to avoid. Both have the same basic cause, a calamity that was impossible to predict and impossible to avert. The stagnation that dooms a Lostbelt created by the kings in question in their desperation to survive. Ivan turned humanity into the Yaga and created a world of strength, where progress is impossible because everyone in his new world was too busy devouring each other to work together. Skadi created a world of weakness, where progress is impossible because she limited the population to avoid everyone dying out. There is, however, one crucial difference between the two. Not in terms of story, not in terms of characters, not in terms of themes. 

“Your existence itself has already become a grave sin.”

That one line, spoken to Ivan, is the biggest difference between how the story engages things. In both Lostbelts, Ivan and Skadi did horrible things and made horrible choices because they had to, for the sake of survival. Ivan twisted humanity into monsters that lost capacity for mercy or empathy, while Skadi forced brutal population control and careless death on humanity because of her refusal to allow the giants to be destroyed. Both of them did horrible things, but only one is held to account by the story.

What Ivan did was evil, and the story recognises it. It doesn’t accept the excuse that it was all necessary for survival, because that’s irrelevant. It’s evil regardless. This same sentiment should have been expressed with Skadi, but it’s not. Ivan is condemned, but Skadi is absolved. She had no choice. She did the best she could. After building her up as all-powerful, the end of the story instead destroys her agency and power in its haste to prevent any kind of responsibility falling on Skadi’s head. Even to the very end, where she declares that she’ll kill all seven billion lives we fight for for the sake of her ten thousand, she holds back and allows us to win, despite how it butchers her character.

The biggest irony in all this is that Ivan’s world was worse than hers in ways. There was no way for the blizzards to stop, no meat besides for the demonic beasts. Crops couldn’t grow, and instead of living in peace, the Yaga were constantly tormented and killed by the Oprichniki. There were no liveable areas like there are in Lostbelt 2, no merciful ruler that sees all, and controls the greatest threats, no peaceful villages where food can be grown. There’s far more justification for Ivan to claim he had no choice and that he did all he did for survival, because it’s hard to see what his choices were. But Skadi? Skadi intentionally does not act and intentionally allows suffering and pain to come to her children, both actively by not saving Gerda, and passively by allowing the giants to take land they don’t need. Despite this, Skadi is absolved, because the story desperately wants her to be a tragic waifu that you love.

There’s lots more I could talk about. How Sitonai was pointless and existed only for a pathetic FSN reference. How Gerda was a cowardly and manipulative piece of writing compared to Patxi. How Ophelia’s story of always being told what to do is resolved not by her taking the step to freedom herself, but being told to free herself by someone else. The constant repetition that plagues the chapter, the weirdly prevalent sexism that everyone gets in on when it comes to Ophelia’s love life, the nonsense of the final battle itself, the absolute nonsense of Skadi being Scáthach-Skadi. I could even talk about how I’d fix the chapter, because boy howdy there’s a lot there. 

There’s lots more I could talk about, but this is already very long, and I think it speaks for itself. Obviously asks are available if anyone wants me to examine them in more detail, but for now, I’ll finish off with one last reminder.

Lostbelt 2 is bad.  

[paperanddice]

Image ID: Two pictures of game stat blocks for the ember guard. The first is for 5th Edition D&D and the second is for 13th Age. Full text is available below the read more. End ID.

Ember guards are massive, elemental creations that act as both shock troopers and guardians. Their origins track back to the efreet, though rumors hold that an ancient Elder Evil of some kind first gave the genies the knowledge required to craft these things. They are very simple creatures, following orders and mostly just smashing targets to a fine paste with their massive limbs. The fires within can be unleashed in a vicious attack, and the magical flames will cling to the creature they wash over to drag down their limbs and weaken their fighting. As the elemental is damaged its rocky skin cracks and breaks, letting the intense flames that compose its actual body within seep out. Sudden applications of low temperatures cause cracks to spread along its body, cracking the stone viciously and can cause the shell to rupture.

Averaging close to 18 feet tall, ember guards appear to be made out of bronze streaked stone that glows with intense heat. Flames lick at cracks and openings in the stone body, which is hollow and thus far lighter than one would expect for a stone creature of this size. The stone is only a few inches thick, though this is still enough to repel many weaker weapons and lesser attackers. The ember guard is still not light, weighing many tons. While most ember guards are ape-like in form, walking on knuckled forelimbs and shorter hind limbs, there are some that have more humanoid forms, or even purely quadrupedal ones, but these are rare and the product of specialist creators who want their own unique signature. Shattering the external shell of the ember guard causes the elemental flame within to sputter and die, evaporating in a large cloud of heat that is uncomfortable, but rarely harmful.

Originally from the 3.5 Monster Manual V. This post came out a week ago on my Patreon. If you want to get access to all my monster conversions early, as well as a spot on the Paper and Dice Discord server, consider backing me there!

5th Edition

Imix the All Consuming Fire is the true original source of ember guards, granting them to his cults and those efreet who bent knee to the Elder Elemental Evils. While a rare few have unlocked the method of crafting them since, nearly all ember guards are loyal to Imix over all others, and those who somehow gain the service of the elemental should make sure to remember that.

Ember Guard Huge elemental, lawful evil Armor Class 19 (natural armor) Hit Points 161 (14d12 + 70) Speed 30 ft. Str 24 (+7) Dex 15 (+2) Con 20 (+5) Int 3 (-4) Wis 18 (+4) Cha 9 (-1) Damage Immunities fire, poison; bludgeoning, piercing and slashing damage from nonmagical attacks Damage Vulnerabilities cold Condition Immunities exhaustion, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, unconscious Senses darkvision 60 ft. passive Perception 14 Languages Ignan Challenge 13 (10000 XP) Bleeding Fire. While the ember guard has 80 or fewer hp, flames begin leaking from its body and it is surrounded by an aura of flames. At the start of each of the ember guard's turns, each creature within 5 feet of it takes 7 (2d6) fire damage, and flammable objects in the aura that aren't being worn or carried ignite. A creature that touches the ember guard or hits it with a melee attack while within 5 feet of it takes 7 (2d6) fire damage. Illumination. The ember guard sheds bright light in a 20-foot radius and dim light in an additional 20 feet. Water Susceptibility. For every 5 feet the ember guard moves in water that is at least six feet deep, or for every 5 gallons of water splashed on it, it takes 1 point of cold damage. This damage is not doubled by its vulnerability to cold damage. Actions Multiattack. The ember guard makes two slam attacks. Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +12 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 18 (2d10+7) bludgeoning damage plus 10 (3d6) fire damage. Fire Breath (Recharge 5-6). The ember guard exhales fire in a 30-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a DC 18 Dexterity saving throw. On a failure, the target takes 28 (8d6) fire damage and is magically slowed for one minute. While slowed, the creature's speed is halved, it takes a -2 penalty to AC and Dexterity saving throws, and it can't use reactions. On its turn, it can use either an action or a bonus action, not both. Regardless of the creature's abilities or magic items, it can't make more than one melee or ranged attack during its turn. If the creature attempts to cast a spell with a casting time of 1 action, roll a d20. On an 11 or higher, the spell doesn't take effect until the creature's next turn, and the creature must use its action on that turn to complete the spell. If it can't, the spell is wasted. The slowed creature can make a DC 17 Wisdom saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. If the initial saving throw is successful, the target takes half the fire damage and is not slowed.

13th Age

Did the efreet truly create the ember guard, or are they the work of an old Icon who granted the genies the elementals in exchange for the services that the genies are now bound to? Perhaps a prior Archmage or High Druid may have done so, and with the death of that Icon control of the ember guard fell fully to the efreet, showing the long game the genies are playing against the Icons to come out on top in the end.

Ember Guard Large 9th level troop [elemental] Initiative: +12 Vulnerability: Cold Gigantic Burning Fist +14 vs. AC (2 attacks) - 30 damage plus 15 fire damage Natural 5, 10, 15, 20: The ember guard regains the use of clinging fire breath if it’s expended. C: Clinging Fire Breath +14 vs. PD (1d3 nearby enemies) - 45 ongoing fire damage Natural Even Hit: The target is hampered as long as it is taking the ongoing damage. Limited Use: 1/battle. Bleeding Fire: When an enemy engaged with the ember guard attacks it while the ember guard is staggered, that enemy takes 9 fire damage. Fortification: When the ember guard is hit with a critical hit, it can roll a hard save (16+); on a success, the critical hit deals normal damage instead of double damage. Fire Resistance 18+. AC 25 PD 24 MD 17 HP 350

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #181

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re finishing up the last of the racing teams from the Dead Heat Summer Race with Minamoto no Raikou (Lancer)! She’s the new addition to Team Prefect of Public Decency and Monk Sanzang, a name that just rolls off the tongue.

This shadow prefect is a Devotion Paladin to supercharge her lance/yo-yo with lightning and shut down any indecency this summer, as well as a Monster Slayer Ranger to sense evil before it happens.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: The commissioner!?!

Race and Background

Like most summer servants, your background isn’t that different. Raikou’s still a Fallen Aasimar, giving her +1 Wisdom and +2 Charisma, Darkvision to dunk on those dumb human eyes, Celestial Resistance against Radiant and Necrotic damage, and Healing Hands so she can make people feel better by pressing her body up against them. Get your mind out of the gutter, there’s nothing improper happening here. She also gets the Light cantrip. You might not be able to actually stick lightning in your weapon yet, but at least it looks like you did!

You’re also still a soldier, giving you proficiency with Athletics and Intimidation.

Ability Scores

Make sure your Charisma is as high as possible. I don’t know why, but you’re just really persuasive in this spirit origin. After that is Strength, you still have to be able to chuck a lance at someone’s head if they’re misbehaving. Your Dexterity also has to be pretty good, both for multiclassing and so you can wear that swimsuit later without getting destroyed. Your Wisdom isn’t terrible; you’re not that observant about most things, but you can tell pretty easily when someone’s up to no good. That leaves you with a pretty low Constitution, but it would hurt too much to dump that, so we’re dumping Intelligence instead. A. it’s summer, and B. you have no issue criticizing other’s swimsuits while wearing one of your own.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: Starting the build off as a paladin is pretty cool, it gives you proficiency with Wisdom and Charisma Saves, as well as two paladin skills. Grab Insight for a non-magical way to tell when someone’s up to mischief, and Persuasion for... reasons.

You also get a Divine Sense, letting you sense extraplanar creatures near you as an action. Now, I’m not saying an undead creature is inherently evil (esp. with those new playable races), but it’s probably a pretty good indicator when demons show up. You also get Lay on Hands for more physical contact based healing!  Admittedly Raikou doesn’t have a healing skill, but somehow I doubt the rest of the party will mind, aside from perhaps Kintoki.

2. Paladin 2: Second level paladins get a Fighting Style to customize how they slap things, and the Dueling style adds 2 to your attack damage if you’re using a one handed weapon and nothing else. You can also cast and prepare Spells using your Charisma modifier, or use those spell slots to make Divine Smites for extra radiant damage. It’s not lightning, but we’re getting there. As far as what you should prepare goes, I’d suggest anything with “Detect” in its name, as well as a Thunderous Smite. Still not lightning damage, but thematically we’re getting closer.

3. Paladin 3: Third level paladins get Divine Health, making you immune to disease. You’re also so devoted to your cause that you’re a Devotion paladin, which gives you Protection from Evil and Good and Sanctuary as free spells.

You can also Channel Divinity once per short rest in one of two flavors. Sacred Weapon adds your charisma modifier to a weapon’s attack rolls, and it becomes magical for the duration. Meanwhile, Turn the Unholy forces fiends and undead to make a wisdom save, and on a failure they have to move as far away from you as possible for up to a minute, or until it takes damage.

Also, since this is your third total level, you get a Necrotic Shroud that settles on you as an action once per long rest. When you transform this way, you get all spooky and force a charisma save on nearby creatures, frightening them for a turn if they fail. Afterwards, for up to a minute you can add necrotic damage equal to your level to one attack or spell per turn.

4. Paladin 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to get more Strength. This improves your stabbing, and... that’s it. Still, stabbing’s pretty useful.

5. Paladin 5: Fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack each attack action. Now your stabbing is even more useful, you’re welcome.

You also get second level spells, like your freebies Lesser Restoration and Zone of Truth. More importantly, you can use Find Steed to find yourself a steed for the race. Your warhorse comes out of the box as a celestial instead of a beast, and it also has an Intelligence of 6 so it can understand one language you speak. Any spell you cast on yourself also targets your steed if you’re riding it, and you can talk to it with your mind if you’re within a mile of it.

6. Ranger 1: Now that we’ve got your ride set up, it’s time to get shocking. To help with this, we’re going ranger. Multiclassing into ranger gets you one ranger skill, so grab Animal Handling so your horse doesn’t throw you off first thing.

As a bonus action, you can turn one enemy into your Favored Foe, dealing a bit of extra damage once per turn until you take a short rest or tag someone else.

You’re also a Deft Explorer, which right now means you’re Canny with Persuasion, doubling your proficiency bonus.

7. Ranger 2: Second level rangers get a second fighting style, and Thrown Weapon Fighting lets you add 2 to the damage of a weapon after you chuck it at someone’s head. You can also draw the weapon you’re throwing as part of the attack, streamlining the whole process.

You also get another set of Spells that you can cast with your Wisdom, like Animal Friendship, which ironically won’t help with your own horse. You also get Detect Poison and Disease to free up your paladin prep space.

Since you’re multiclassing now, check the player’s hand book for how many spell slots you have at a given time. Also, you’ll get third level slots eventually, but you won’t be able to prepare third level paladin spells. Stick with what you know.

8. Ranger 3: Third level rangers get Primeval Awareness, which lets you spend spell slots to sense weird creatures within a mile of you, though you don’t find their location. Think of it like a terrible, terrible smite. Like the anti-smite. Because that’s what it’s doing; it’s taking smites out of your child’s mouth. Let Kintoki have his smites.

Oh right, you also get your subclass. Monster Slayers get Protection from Evil and Good as a freebie like devotion paladins, but neither one uses your casting modifier so it doesn’t matter. You also get a Hunter’s Sense that lets you sense a creature’s weaknesses as an action. You learn your target’s immunities, resistances, and vulnerabilities unless they’re immune to divination. You can use this Wisdom Modifier times per long rest.

You can also turn one creature into your Slayer’s Prey as a bonus action, dealing an extra 1d6 damage once per turn when you hit it with a weapon attack. You can have one prey at a time, and it lasts until you finish a short rest.

You can also Detect Magic now. Any sort of magic on the race track is probably improper, right?

9. Paladin 6: Sixth level paladins get an Aura of Protection, adding your charisma modifier to all saving throws done by your allies near you. If you weren’t around, your allies might have fallen prey to all sorts of spells! How improper!

10. Ranger 4: Bouncing back to ranger gets you another ASI, use this to grab the Armor of Shadows invocation from the Eldritch Adept feat. Now you can change out of those stuffy prefect clothes and into something more appropriate. For Summer, at least.

11. Ranger 5: Fifth level rangers get second level spells and nothing else, since extra attacks don’t stack. You can now Find Traps that have been set up around you, and you get another way to cast Zone of Truth, but your charisma’s better, so stick to using paladin to cast that one.

12. Ranger 6: Your Favored Foe takes more damage, and you’re now Roving, giving you some extra speed plus a climbing and swimming speed. Perfect for a day on the beach!

13. Ranger 7: Seventh level monster slayers can put up a Supernatural Defense, adding 1d6 to saves and grapple escape checks against your slayer’s prey. You’ve seen these kinds of hooligans before, and they’re all the same. You know what they’ll do before even they do.

You can also provide Aid to your allies, giving them extra maximum HP. Put those overcharge spell slots to use! (Or just smite stuff. Either or.)

14. Paladin 7: Seventh level devotion paladins get an Aura of Devotion, preventing you or friendly creatures near you from being charmed. Summer romance... how indecent! Don’t they know what they’re doing?

15. Paladin 8: For your last paladin level, use this ASI to bump up your Charisma and Dexterity for a higher AC, stronger saves, and better spells.

16. Ranger 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma again, for even stronger saves and better spells. You can also use Land’s Stride to avoid damage from nonmagical plants and avoid getting slowed by difficult terrain. You also get advantage against saves from magical plants. Yeah, every summer servant can fight without armor on, but the second they have to walk through a thorn bush they’re hosed. You’re ahead of the game!

17. Ranger 9: Ninth level rangers get third level spells. Elemental Weapon finally lets you stick lightning in your spear for extra fun. You also get Magic Circle for free.

18. Ranger 10: A tenth level ranger is Tireless, letting you heal yourself as an action Proficiency times per long rest, and you can reduce exhaustion on short rests. Now you can spend all night... making sure nobody does anything naughty under the cover of darkness, obviously.

You can also Hide in Plain Sight after crafting camouflage over a minute. Once becamoed, press against a surface as big as you are, and you get a +10 bonus to stealth checks as long as you don’t move.

19. Ranger 11: Your last Monster Slayer goody turns you into a Magic-User’s Nemesis, using your reaction once per short rest to force a wisdom save on a creature teleporting or casting a spell within 60′ of you. If they fail, the spell is wasted.

If you want that spear of yours to be really flashy, you can also use Lightning Arrow to give it a lot more oomph, dealing lightning damage to the target whether it hits or misses, and then dealing more damage to all creatures around that target. Use Elemental Weapon for longevity, or Lightning Arrow for a big blow all at once.

20. Ranger 12: Use your capstone level’s ASI to bump up your Strength one last time for even more accurate and deadly attacks.

Pros:

With your auras and ranger defenses active you can be really annoying to spellcasters. Charms don’t work, you might just counterspell them, your saves can be somewhere between +6 and +11. It’s just a mess for wizards to put up with.

Mixing paladin and ranger also lets you combine their tracking abilities to become the ultimate evil detector, seeking out and shutting down baddies from the shadows.

You specialize in boss fights, focusing on a single target and gradually stacking buffs against them, like favored foe and slayer’s prey, letting you deal pretty consistent damage against a single target over time.

Cons:

You multiclassed into two classes that both require two ability scores to be good. And neither one shares an ability score with the other. You’re MAD as hell, is what I’m trying to say here. Also, your paladin abilities won out handily against your ranger abilities, so your wisdom ended up way lower than you’d probably like.

Similarly, neither class required Constitution, so yours is pretty low for a mid-line fighter. You have barely over 100 HP, and your AC is only 15. Be really careful your horse doesn’t get shot out from under you, you’ll need that extra mobility.

Stacking buffs takes a lot of time, either dedicating an entire turn just to making your next turn good or having a few not so great turns right at the start. Depending on the kinds of situations you end up in, a character ready to go turn one might be a better option.

[ejm513]

FAIRY TAIL NEXT GEN CHILDREN-GRUVIA EDITION

 NALU

1-I know there is now a cannon child for edo Nalu and edo Gruvia with names and everything. I also know that Gajeel and Levy have twins and Levy is currently pregnant in 100 Years Quest.  I love it and their names and everything about those precious babies-but I’ve had these ideas and characters and backstories growing and developing in my head for years so I’m being the stubborn Taurus that I am and sticking with it.

2-Also please forgive any misspellings and grammar mistakes as I am dyslexic and my school failed us at teaching spelling and grammar. I did my best.

Hello my lovelies!! 

So I’ve spent most of the day working on the first two ships and editing everything so I figured why not just post the second one right away. 

And the next ship we’re doing on this crazy journey is my personal favorite my OTP to end all OTPS 

GRUVIA!!

Ah yes people... I’m in my happy place. 

THE FULLBUSTERS:

  Nicolai Sliver Fullbuster- Nicknames- Nick, Nicky, Nicky Bear (gotta love little sisters)

Birthday: March 15th, 797 (Bonus points if anyone gets the reference :P)

Magic: Ice Make Magic

Appearance:

-Height: 5’10 (same height as Gray)

-Hair: Dark and thick like Grays, slightly wavy curiosity of his mother.

-Eye color: Dark blue and large like he’s mother’s.

-Built like his father.

-He and Gray are the closest to clones.  

IMPORTANT FACTS:

-Gray doesn’t want his boy to deal with the consequences of being a demon slayer… so he doesn’t teach him how to be one. At least not completely. He does pass on some techniques and skills but nothing more.

-For example he teaches him Ice Make Sliver. 

-He got the name Nikolai Sliver from both of his grandfathers-I chose a Russian name because I have this idea in my head that in the real world Juvia would be Russian and nothing can convince me otherwise.

-Though he got over it eventually poor thing hated the cold and having to strip in the snow.

-He too got the illness Ultrear had, and while he didn’t get through it as easily as the Dragnell children he got through it in the end.  

And before anyone ask yes… he stripes.

Personality:

-Kind

-Loyal (but maybe not to a fault)

-Laid back like his father

-A little moody and temperamental at times

-Can be a bit reserved but more or less wears his heart on his sleeve like Juvia.

-Very imaginative like his mother… which sometimes lead him to being a little ditzy and spacy.

-Very loving

-Very protective of those he loves

-Definitely inherited Juvia’s possessiveness-when his sister was being introduced to the guild for the first time after she was born he grabbed hold of her little blanket, stood in front of her and said

“No! She’s MY baby sister!!”

-Gray QUICKLY helped him get it under control

-A huge romantic like Juvia…like MAJOR romantic. He even enjoys reading her romance novels (but don’t you dare tell anyone)

-He also enjoys drawing, doing anything in the snow and ice

-Very intelligent and did well in school-given his magic he was particularly skilled in art. No one understands how he managed to do so well in school because his note books are covered in doodles

-In general just a much more open and expressive person than his father or sister, much more like his mother.

Relationships:

-Extremely close with both of his parents-the Fullbusters are known for having a very close knit and loving family.

-Like almost every boy in this generation he is a total mama’s boy and you better not call him out on it.

-Also idolizes his father and wants to be just like him

-Absolutely adores his little sister is very gentle and sweet with her. He’s extremely protective of her  and one of the only four people he can be a little possessive over (the others being Lila and his parents).However, she can get on his nerves because like most little siblings she follows him everywhere and wants to do everything with him. Plus they can both be temperamental and stubborn. They are also so much alike yet express themselves in such different ways that it causes clashes.  As a result, they bicker the most out of any of the siblings in the next gen-but their fights never, EVER turn physical. But the bottom line is they are exceptionally close-so close in fact they are one of the only pairs in the next gen that can successfully pull of a Unison Raid.

-Real he just wants Eliza to stop calling him Nicky Bear… in public at least.

-The first of his two best friends is Simon Scarlet. At first it was a matter of convenience because he was the only boy in the guild close to her age, but it didn’t take too long to become genuine friends. They love to bond over their love of sweets. The other of course is Lila.

And naturally Happy… Happy is everyone’s best friend

-He has loved Lila pretty much his entire life-before he even understood what that feeling was. When he learned what the concept of marriage, he knew right away she was the one he was going to marry. As stated before he constantly referred to her as his wife as children and when they were older (like almost 20 or older than 20) he would say “You know I’m going to marry you one day Dragnell right?”

Elizaveta/ Eliza/ Liza Ur Fullbuster

   Birthday: November 23rd, 801

Magic: Water.

Appearance:

Height: 5’2 (a couple of inches shorter than Juvia who is 5’4 according to the Wiki)

Hair: Long, thick and wavy like Juvia’s, dark like Gray’s

Eyes: Juvia’s shape but dark like Gray’s

-She has the same gifted build as Juvia, but somehow a little more fragile looking

-Has her father’s smile

-Yes that beautiful beautiful smile 

-Has heard from Gray that despite her strong resemblance to her mother something about her reminds him of his mother

IMPORTANT FACTS:

-Elizaveta or Eliza Ultear got her name from Juvia’s mother and obviously Ultear. Eliza is what she goes by and only those closest with her call her Liza

-Eliza was born five weeks early and this caused… problems. She was extremely sick as a baby. She ended up becoming dyslexic. Finally, it messed with her powers. She has water powers like her mother, but because she was born so early they are technically incomplete because her body isn’t completely made of water like Juvia. This means she’s not impervious to physical attacks, but she makes up for it in other ways.

-Due to being born early and being a little sickly, when she got that infamous illness all the children in the next gem see to get Ultear’s illness (I have no idea what else to call it) she got hit the worse. She actually came close to dying and Gray and Juvia were told to expect the worst.

-Because of this, despite obviously being a skilled and well trained wizard, Eliza is more known for her emotion strength and endurance rather than her physical strength (at least until she was almost an adult)

-Is definitely no ice wizard and can’t stand the cold, but did learn some tricks including how to freeze her rain into snow or freezing rain.

And yes… she is absolutely forbidden to strip under any and all circumstances unless she doesn’t want to see the outside world until she’s 30 or until Gray is dead… which ever comes first

Personality:

-Massive, huge heart of gold

-Very sweet

-Very shy and introverted

-Extremely reserved, keeps everything close to her chest like her father

-Appears laid back but is a ball of emotion and anxiety and occasional bouts of depression

-Comes off as an ethereal, sweet, Mary Jane type of dainty princess when she is anything but

-Actually, has a very snarky, sarcastic sense of humor a la Gray and is just funny like her mother.

-Is never willing to start a fight but if you push her enough she follows the same line of thought as Lila;

-Is very stubborn, moody and temperamental at times

-Very ambitious and always smiling despite everything that’s happened to her.

-Is quiet laid back with her language when she’s older and has been known to swear.

-Is also great at impressions.

-Has Juvia’s quiet astounding imagination and is definitely a dreamer.

-Is a HUGE romantic, openly reading her mother’s romance novels. Otherwise she’s very good at hiding it… mostly.

-Exceptionally smart but struggles with math and is a slow reader because of her dyslexia. She excels in history and music.

-I have a head cannon that Juvia can sing because of all the hydration she gets from having a water body, mermaids/sirens luring sailors with their voices and because apparently Juvia’s voice actress can sing. So Eliza inherited that gift but never sings on stage for the public.

 RELATIONSHIPS:

-Because of how sickly she has always been, and because she was the first girl born to the guild a string of boys, and because of how bad she’s treated by kids at school, Eliza is utterly spoiled and a little coddled by all. No on one minds though because she never acts spoiled. She just loves having such a safe and warm space to fall.

-Like her brother is super close to her parents.

-Juvia is her rock and the pair are inseparable.

-She is also daddy’s littler girl though don’t you ever get her to admit it. They love joking around with each other and just talking.

-She adores and idolizes her big brother-her Nicky Bear. She always wanted to follow him around and do what he did-which after a certain point would get on his nerves. She also sometimes get annoyed with how protective he can be. They can both be a little possessive over each other and their parents.  As mentioned before they have many of the same personality traits but express them in different ways, so they bicker a lot. But in the end she would be lost without him.

-Like her mother Eliza was unfortunately bullied badly by kids outside the guild and even more unfortunate a few kids in the guild. So her three closest friends are Lila Dragnell, Hazel Redfox and much to her chagrin Iggy Dragnell.

-Iggy is the only person who can flare her temper on the daily and who she has fought with-he never fights with more than words but from time to time she will blast him with water just to get him to leave her alone. He is more or less the annoying younger brother she never asked for but similar to her own brother would be lost without him.

-And before you ask no she has not and will never have a crush or any romantic feelings for Iggy… but Simon Scarlet on the other hand….

-Has a love hate relationship with Happy after he was flying her around ounce and dropped her from pretty high up which gave her a fear of heights.

 All right my lovelies!! That is it for this round! I’ll be back soon... hopefully with the next ship!!! 

GAJEELX LEVY!!! 

[yummyyume]

In which Ladybug and Chat Noir are true Heroes

I’ve been sitting on it for a few weeks now. It wasn’t supposed to really be a fic, but it turns out okay, so I decided to finish it and post it anyway. The end is kind of rush, but I wanted to be done with it so, yeah.

Hope you all like it!

I apologize for any spelling and grammars errors, English is not my first language. I hope it’s still intelligible. 

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Marinette is doing a better job at superheroing than she ever thought she would. Still, contacting real professionals sounds like a good idea. Chat is a bit reticent at first, because being Chat Noir is the only freedom he has and he doesn’t want it to end, but after she points out all the people who are suffering, he shamefully agrees to call the Justice League with her.

They don’t receive any answer, and no one shows up.

Chat is sure that it’s because there’s a world ending threat they have to take care of first, and they’ll answer as soon as they can. After the fifth’s plea for help, he doesn’t seem to really believe it either. Still, they continue to call every month.

When Chat becomes too pushy with his flirting, she sits him down, taking a day off from patrolling, and shows him a video about sexual harassment. He watches the entire thing, horrified. And then he apologizes and swears to never flirt again and he’s so, so sorry, but he really doesn’t know how to do social things or how to deal with his crush in a non-anime way, he only ever had one friend before starting school and she wasn’t the best at social interactions either and can Ladybug ever forgive him?

So, Marinette calms him down and tells him it’s alright. Everyone makes mistakes, even more so when they don’t know about the issue. And maybe he can ask his new friends about ethics and social issues. And of course, she’ll be there to answer any of his questions. We’re partner, chaton.

So, the next day, at school, Adrien takes Nino aside so they can have a private talk. He tells him about the crush he developed on this girl he works him, about the flirting and how she showed him a video on sexual harassment, and he didn’t know. So can Nino, please, helps him learn this sort of things? Anything Gabriel wouldn’t have thought Adrien needed to be taught, because those were society thing that everyone learnt eventually. Except, apparently, Adrien.

Nino is horrified. He’s so going to kick Gabriel Agreste’s ass! This is what happen when you isolate your kid!

But Nino is also really proud of his bro for accepting that he was in the wrong and trying to educate himself.

They start by learning more about sexism together. Then Nino ropes Max, Kim, Marinette and Alya into teaching him about racism. And then, Juleka pipes up about ableism. Soon enough the whole class is involved and they’re all learning about all kind of harassments and world problems. They’re all learning things. Chloé gets involved more and more as Ladybug’s influence gets stronger. They have debates and everyone try to stay nice and not talk over each other. It doesn’t always work, but at least they stay respectful.

(And Adrien realizes that maybe he can say no too. Maybe sexual harassment is not something that only women have to deal with. And maybe child labor laws have merit. Maybe what his father is doing is really abuse. Maybe he can do something about it. He has his friends to support him and they won’t let his father just take him out of school because he disagrees with Adrien. Maybe he can be really free.)

A few weeks after the video, Chat Noir excitedly tells Ladybug about what he’s been learning with his friends, and Marinette hides a wince at the confirmation of her suspicions. Because it was definitely suspicious when Adrien asks Nino about ethics the following day of their talk about sexual harassment. She hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it and she didn’t tell Tikki, because the moment she thought about telling her kwami, she remembered with sharp clarity Chat Noir telling her “I can only be myself when I’m Chat Noir” And Marinette can’t take that away from Adrien. He’s her partner and, no matter the lack of romantic feelings, she loves him.

It also puts her crush on Adrien in question, because if she’s in love with Adrien, but not Chat Noir, then she doesn’t love Adrien in his entirety. And since Adrien is not really himself in public, then that means she’s in love with the image he’s portraying to the world, not the real him. She has a good cry, it’s her first heartbreak, but then it’s easier to let go of her crush and focus on being his friend. And Adrien looks like Christmas has come early when they have a full conversation without her stammering. The fact that he thought she didn’t like him and didn’t want to be his friend breaks her heart a little.

(She may or may not tell him she knows his identity and also shares hers, but only when they’re already transformed so their kwamis don’t know they know. Maybe.)

Fast forward a few months, Ladybug and Chat Noir are a very efficient team and the students of Miss Bustier’s class are closer than ever.

(Volpina happened and then Lila ‘leaves for Achuu’. Mrs. Rossi may be busy, but she doesn’t want her daughter’s education to fall behind  and so she calls the school to know if the State will help pay for tutors while the Akuma situation is being handled and that’s how she learns that her daughter is lying to her. Again. Lila is shipped back to Italy to attend a strict boarding school.)

The Justice League still hasn’t answered.

And then Syren happens and two million people died.

It doesn’t matter that Ladybug brought them back with her cure, they still died! And they remember drowning! She read the comments on the Ladyblog, people are scared! She was aware that people died in Akuma attacks, but none have been as deadly as Syren. (And she’s so, so relieved that Ondine doesn’t remember the damage she did. She’s a teenage girl, she doesn’t need this sort of trauma to drag her down. Marinette knows from Kim that she’s already feeling enough guilt when she heard about it after everything was back to normal.)

This time, Ladybug doesn’t just call the League. She ropes Alya into helping her and she rants for a good five minutes about what is happening in Paris and two million people died, don’t you care?! Aren’t you supposed to be heroes?! Alya posts it to the Ladyblog and sends it to the JLA.

That how the Parisians learn that Ladybug and Chat Noir have been trying to contact the League for months and they’re all pretty angry at the dismissal. Everyone who can, send an email or call. They’re going to be heard, dammit!

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The Justice League’s mailbox gets so suddenly flooded that all the heroes receive an alert about an emergency and they all immediately zeta-beam to the Watchtower. Diana has to finish her mission on Themyscira before she can meet everyone, but she has full faith in her teammates to hold on until she gets there.

The heroes are then confronted with the video of a rating teenager about the flooding of Paris and all her followers.

“Paris is not flooded!” Superman seethes, looking at the monitor. “And the heat signatures are roughly the same number as yesterday!”

Some more poking and they find the Ladyblog run by a teenager with shaky videos about her classmates somehow becoming supervillain. The CGI is pretty great but it’s so cliché, it’s hilarious.

(Diana receives a ‘false alert’ message and rolls her eyes. Men.)

“We don’t know if she did it on purpose or not, but it can’t happen again.” Batman says.

Heroes start to zeta-beam back to their city, grumbling.  

“Someone should go put the fear of God in the kid.” Red Hood jokes, rolling his eyes (not that anyone could see).

“Thank you, Red Hood, for volunteering,” Batman replies very seriously, but Jason knows that Bruce is laughing at him. Dammit!

So Red Hood zeta-beams to Paris (he doesn’t even pack a bag, it’s going to take like five minutes). Batman has sent him the address of the school the creator of the Ladyblog attends. It’ll be a good start to find the polka-dot kid.

Except that halfway to his goal, he has to stop on a rooftop because there’s a giant woman raging and fighting two really acrobatic people. One of them is the red polka-dot girl, the other is a black leather clad guy who can’t be much older than her.

“Batman, we’ve got a problem.” He coms.

“Red Hood?” and he can hear the worry in Bruce’s voice, and he feels even more shitty.

“The girl and her partner are fighting a 15 feet woman made of diamond. Half the Champs-Elysées are in rumbles. I really don’t think it’s a scam.”

And then he sees the Miraculous Cure, watches as the Champs-Elysées are restored, sees people coming back to life and understands. Jason feels sick. Because the girl in the video was a teenager and if everything she said is true then she’s been dealing with this whole shit for months and even as Robin he had Batman he could lean on.

As the two heroes jumps away, Jason races to catch up with them. Ladybug and Chat Noir are definitely teenagers and they look suspiciously at him, but he manages to convince them that he came from the JLA and can they please talk?

The Parisian heroes accept, but they were in the middle of something first so they can meet up latter at the Eiffel Tower. And then they swing away without waiting for an answer. Red Hood doesn’t chase them down. He tells everything he just saw to Batman and asks for someone to comb through the Ladyblog and give him some damn intel before it’s time to meet the kids.

Half an hour later, Jason is in jeans and playing the clueless tourist, asking what the hell is going on here.

It’s early evening when Ladybug and Chat Noir arrived at the Eiffel Tower in one long graceful jump. Jason is a bit jealous because he definitely had to use his grapping-hook to get there, but those kids can do it without assistance.

Chat Noir is super exited to meet him now that they have time to talk. Ladybug is more cautious, but she looks just as relieved.

“Are you here alone? Why did it take so long before someone came?” She asks softly.

Looking at the kids, Jason doesn’t want to tell them that no one took them seriously. They look so relieved to see him here. Obviously, the girl’s rant was powered by fear and helplessness, not any hate against the JLA. Now that he’s facing her, he thinks she looks really small in her red polka-dot suit.

Dammit Bruce! This weird serial adopting nonsense wasn’t supposed to be inheritable!

He owes them the truth, though. His com is transmitting live so he knows that B is listening at least, but he doesn’t really care for protocols right now.

“The JLA receive a lot of requests for assistance every day, so we have civilian workers that sort out which requests are genuine, which ones would benefit from a JLA intervention and which ones are scam.”

“And our requests were classified as scam because there’s no proof left after I cast the Cure.” She looks tired and resigned, like she had already come to this conclusion months ago. Red Hood can’t fault her that. The preliminary report he received from Red Robin showed him how smart she was. She’s also not one to suffer delusions and they’ve been fighting for months. It would have jaded anyone.

“But we send a new request for assistance every month,” Chat said, quiet and solemn beside his teammate. “It should have raised red flags that the same person sends the same request every month.”

“It should. We’ll look into it.”  

“Can you control your negative emotion?” Ladybug eventually asks. “Because we need help. Chat and I, we’re not detectives. We don’t know where to look or how to cross patterns or whatever else we would need to do in order to find Hawkmoth. We don’t have a helpful mentor to show us the way. But we’re also been fighting for months and Paris is ours. We’ll accept help gladly, but only from people who know how to control their negative emotions. We don’t want to face an akumatised hero, we have enough trouble with some civilians.”

And shit, but Jason hadn’t thought of that. From the curses in his ears, he isn’t the only one. Fuck magic, it makes everything more complicated.

“Maybe they could lend assistance from a distance?” Chat proposes, looking at Ladybug. “We could send them our data so they can look for Hawkmoth from a safe distance while we continue to take care of Akuma. And once we have a name or a location, we’ll finally put at end to it.”

“That’s a good idea, Chaton.” She raises an eyebrow in Red Hood’s direction.

“Works for me,” he shrugs. There’s a sharp ‘Red Hood’ in his ear, but Jason ignores it. The kids are right and Jason, at least, doesn’t want to know what an akumatised Red Hood could do. “Here.” He throws an extra com at Ladybug who catches it effortlessly. “I’ll be on my way, but we’re staying in contact. And send any data you can to the JLA so we can start working on your case.”

“Thank you.”

Ladybug smiles softly, but Chat waves exuberantly before Red Hood throws his grapping-hook to the nearest building. He hopes they can catch Hawkmoth quickly, and that they’ll both continue to hold on and that they’ll both be there to see their city free. They deserve it.

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And I’m going to stop there, before the plot bunnies can try to make me write more and lose interest.

The idea came when the sentence ‘This weird serial adopting nonsense wasn’t supposed to be inheritable!’ popped into my head and wouldn’t leave me alone. And then I wanted to address Chat’s attitude and Marinette’s crush, because while I like Adrien salt and Lukanette is my OTP, I like Adrinette too and Chat’s attitude, no matter what, is not okay.

I didn’t write it with a pairing in mind, though, so feel free to think of it as pre-Adrinette, Lukanette, Daminette or any other pairing you want. Or keep it gen if that’s your thing too. 

[emerald-studies]

Diverse Perspectives | Discussion 2

I talked with @a-sucker-for-rosalie for her perspective as an Indian-American, Muslim woman and who is also the daughter of immigrants.

*Tumblr deleted this post AGAIN when I tired to post this, so again sorry for the mistakes*

[ It is required to participate and watch/read these discussions, in order to follow me. Participate or get tf out. We aren’t performative in my lil’ area on Tumblr.

This discussion isn’t representative of an entire population or meant to be super professional. It’s to share different perspectives and also is an opportunity for me to practice what I preach: intersectionality. If you’d like to participate in this series please send me a pm or an ask and I’ll get back to you ASAP. We can do a written, audio, or video interview.]

Faith: Ok, now...

A /@a-sucker-for-rosalie : Hi, my blog is @a-sucker-for-rosalie and my main blog is @theawkwardmuslimgirl, I’m a 24 yo Muslim woman from the United States and this is my story.

F: *laughs* Good job!

Have you felt an urge to assimilate by anyone in your life, or society in general?

A: Yeah absolutely, I think one of the biggest things for me has been my name I have an Arabic name, it’s something that’s been difficult for people to pronounce over the years, even my coworkers and some people in my family don’t say it properly and I’ve gone back and forth between absolutely hating my name and trying to whitewash it. Telling people to call me AJ or give me a nickname whatever they can think of or shortening it somehow. And then at some point when I reached college, and I kind of started to understand myself a lot better, I was like “Wait a minute, no...I love my name. My Grandmother who I’m so close to, or was before she passed away, she named me.” and it just became this big thing for me where my name was important to me and it was representative of my culture and my religion and yeah I’ve gone back and forth on that but I’ve kinda settled into, I like my name I’m not going to do nicknames anymore, ya know...if someone at least tries to make an effort to pronounce it properly, that's good enough for me right now. But I'm done hating that part of myself.

F: Right. And I think it's a kind of on other people to, just not make a big deal about it. If it's a cool, it's a cool name like then just say it's a cool name. You don't have to, like, drag out that whole conversation about “Oh, how do you pronounce it syllable by syllable by syllable?” Like, I mean, unless you (A ) want to, but like, I know, I've had friends that like I've encountered other people and they, they like kind of pick it apart and be like, “Oh, that sounds weird”. And it's just like,

A: Mm hmm.

F: So like, what? yourself yours sounds really basic, Claire. That also reminds me of Hasan Minhaj on Ellen, when Ellen pronounced his name wrong. And that was a whole thing, but it was like it just really makes you think like you can pronounce Timothée Chalamet Why can't you make an effort to pronounce someone else's name accurately?

A: Yeah, exactly. And my whole thing for a while, it's just like, I'm saying my name for you before you even see it spelled--

F:*laughs*

A: --you should be able to say it back to me, like you're purposely--You've never heard it before, and you're purposely making it harder for yourself.

F: That’s so accurate, you do Introduce yourself. So, yeah, that’s ridiculous. 

As a child of immigrants, how is the anti immigrant talking point affected your mental health?

A: Um, I mean, I'm pretty white passing. And as a Muslim, I don't wear hijab at the moment. So on a personal level, like out in every day, I don't feel that. But then, you know, when Trump was running for president, and things like that, and there is all this, people were half joking that he was going to put Muslim people in concentration camps or something. And then the Muslim ban happen with travel. I think that was very painful to experience. I mean, it's definitely come and gone. It's not a constant thing. Like, I don't feel oppressed or as targeted as say, like, Black people or even like, Mexican immigrants or anything like that. But it definitely has. When it's come up again, it's difficult to deal with and it's hurtful and then you do go through all those emotions of questioning. “Okay, so like people are cool to my face, but when it comes down to it, who's gonna protect me or who secretly doesn't like my people?” You know,

F: Right. Yeah. Because all that has shifted, you know, like, people are hiding their ignorance. Trying to rationalize it now, so you never really know, is on your side. I think it's just like so scary.

A: And there’s people are like, “Oh, you're cool, but you know, the other people.” It's like, ummmm

F: I've heard someone say “You're like a good Black.”. Like,

A: Yeah, that's not cool.

F: Would you say like, do you just....I don't know, like, everyone is good in some way, I believe, like, deep down somewhere or they were good, and then they were just corrupted. So,

A: Yeah, I mean, I know people probably don't mean harm by saying that. And like, it’s just like, dude, educate yourself.

F:  I mean, personally, I do think them by not meaning any harm, but saying it anyways makes it harmful.  

A: Yeah, sure.

F: I mean, them kind of knowing that they're talking about something that they don't really know about. I think that's me. That's just me.

A: But no, you're right. I think there's a weird thing. I mean, when, when the whole protests started, and this Black lives matter thing, just in the past couple months got really big. There were all these white people on social media posting about, “I had no idea that Black people go through this!” and like, “I'm starting to really look at my privilege as a white person”. And I was like, okay, so many people really don't know what's going on. And on the one hand, I don't think they're bad people. And I know they don't mean it the way it comes across. So I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Like a lot of times it is just the lack of education on their part. Yeah, like I try. I try not to hate on people or like, call them out on that stuff. It's just like, Okay, here’s how you should actually approach this....

F: It's funny the way you put that

A: Like, like white women checking their privilege on Instagram was like, blowing my mind.

F: Oh, yeah. Not No. Yeah, Emma Emma Watson like, posting those black squares but cropping them so they fit her aesthetic.

A: Ah, God.

F: Yeah. And like, I have seen stuff like that, like, “Oh, I know about this” or, um, and it's, but, you know, the first wave really wasn't like 2014/2015 (of BLM)

A: Yeah.

F: And I remember because I was 14 or 15. So like if I was 14, and like, all these older people are like, “Oh, I know....” I'm like, Well, if I know Yeah,

A: What were you doing this whole time?

F: those women crack me up. 

A: They crack me up too

F: Yeah, they're just discovering this like new like, essential oil.

A: Yeah, it's exactly like that.

You've lived in India for a year--Did you experience a culture shock or did you feel a sense of belonging?

A: Oh, absolutely. I don't think I've ever felt like such an outcast before. A lot of it was I didn't speak the language. My mom's parents when she was a year old, they moved to Canada and they didn't teach her our mother tongue either. Because they were kind of hell bent on their kids assimilating into Canadian culture, and fitting in with the white people. They didn't want them to be outcasts there either. I remember my mom telling me she was the only kid in her school and Black parents. Yeah, it was very, very white. And then, you know, I was the only kid in my Indian School who didn't speak the language. They spoke English at the school. So it wasn't that bad, but I think I definitely did stand out. As an American person. I was just talking to my sister last night. She's like, yeah, yeah. I told them. We live in California. And they're like, Oh, do you know Jennifer Lopez? I don't know.

F: You that's so fair, though. We give like Yeah, you do that to each other. Like, if you hear someone lives in____, like you're like, oh, have you seen a _____ out and about?

A: Yeah, I don't know. I think definitely It was early 2000s. Two. So there was sort of it was a different time. You can say stuff like that. Like we didn't, there was no social media or anything. So you don't really understand how other people live. Just what you see on TV.

F: I do you really regret not being taught your...[mother tounge]?

A: Yeah, I do wish I learned it. Um, I do want to try to pick it up. I know, in adulthood, that's a lot harder. But my cousins have picked it back up again. So I feel like I definitely could. It's not like I don't want to turn it into a “whoa is me” kind of thing because all my grandparents spoke fluent English. It was never a problem.

F: Mm hmm.

A: I think it's more of a retaining culture thing, but I don't think I would ever go back to India at this point, just because of the political climate there. There is a lot happening between Hindus and Muslims and just, it's not safe. And I don't know if I would ever make that journey again. As a non-tourist.

There have been many terrorist attacks against your community, how do you manage the pain of people viewing terrorism against your culture versus, like viewing it differently than 9/11? or other terrorist attacks against white people? Or largely white populations?

A: Also, good question. Um, I don't know, I feel like growing up as a Muslim, you've always kind of had this thing in your head that you are the other. And you're different from people. And I was think I was four or five when 9/11 happened. So I grew up with that feeling. It's not, I don't know any different. So it is this kind of thing of like, okay, I do understand that a large group of people hate us and we are targeted sometimes. But I think just like reaching back to my community and like looking back at my religion and like spiritual stuff kind of helps me like that.

F: Have you experienced your friends viewing it differently? Like holding other terrorist attacks in like a grander I don't know how to phrase this--

A: I think I get what you're saying. Like, like they think it's worse when it happens to white people. 

F: Yeah cuz I've had friends that did stuff like that that would say like, you know like even America in general just like we paused in my online school one time for like five years minutes for 9/11 I'm like, Okay. Um, that's, that's great. Um, are we going to do that with like, I would have, I mean, not to say “all terrorist actions matter”, Yeah. It's such a huge thing. And then I'm like, okay, but are we going to tie that to what America has done in the Middle East? Like, I mean,

A: I'm very lucky that my friend group has always been very diverse. And they open and likes to talk about the news and keep up with those kind of stuff. I mean, my best friends are like an Indian Hindu and like a Catholic, Korean. Like, we're all over the place of that stuff, to kind of understand each other in that sense. So I've never had that problem for I feel other defy my friends in that way. And also As an ethnic person, I do tend to look for friends who are also in some sort of minority, just like as a comfort thing.

F: Mm hmm.

A: So I'm very blessed that I haven't had to, like unfriend people over things like that.

F: That's amazing. I'm glad you have that support. And your discussions must be very interesting.

A: Oh they’re great, we have great discussions.

How do you see yourself in your country?

A: I know it's like, trendy to be like, “I hate America. This place sucks”. Especially like as a woman as an immigrant as a minority. Like I, I, I recognize how blessed I am to be here and have the opportunities that I've had because my parents immigrated, and because this country does allow us so much freedom. I do think sometimes I question my place here. But for the most part, like, I don't want to say it's great, but like, I, I know what I have and I value it. I don't take it for granted.

F: Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

Do you think that public figures are afraid to voice their support for the Muslim community?

A: Some of them Yes. I can't think of off the top of my head who said what about what but I do, just like with influencers and stuff, like the Christchurch mosque shooting, a lot of people were silent about that. And that was very painful to see. But I don't know I feel like it's just it's something I expect at this point. Like, I never expect anybody to stick up for us. But when I see it, it definitely is nice. Like, I remember Kylie Jenner's but something when that happen, and I was like, “Oh, God bless you, thank God”. Someone said something. I think Kim Kardashian and I think Kourtney or Khloe might not have said something. And I was like, “Huh.” Like, I don't know, it's just like, you have to wonder where everybody's loyalty lies and like, do you have something against Muslims? 50 people just died for no reason while they were peacefully praying, like, is that not something? But then, like, I don't know. It's the whole thing of like, influencers saying they don't want to be “political”, which I used to understand. And at this point, you cannot not be political because it's just it's such a big part of Life at this point, and if you're not political, I don't know if you're aligned with Trump, or like your low key racist or what..so you saying nothing says something, you know?

F: Yeah, I totally agree. I think that says so much when you look at a person and what they talk about, but it says so much more what they don't talk about, ] I think--and like there are a lot of things to talk about To be fair, but when you look at current events, and tying what they're not talking about, to the present day, like in this moment, then that says so much and I'm sorry that more people didn't say anything about shooting that was just atrocious. Like, I mean, I didn't have social media than I would’ve said something.---

A: So I got up that morning and cried so hard. Just I was like, I mean, I don't need influencers to like, be pseudo activists or anything, but once in a while just remind your audience what you're aligned with. I feel like that's very important.

F: Yeah, yeah. I think that's so yeah, that's so fair because you may like have someone who is racist or like anti-Semitic or like any...homophobic in your follows and, like, if you don't talk about something, if you don't say, “Oh, we support blank here, get out if you don't”, or if you don't talk about frequently enough. I feel like those types of people can like, I don't know, hide themselves. I think, that's scary. Um, And I'm so sorry that you had to go through that type of feeling where you don't feel that enough people were talking about that tragic, tragic event. And I hope it never happens again, it should have happened in the first place.

Do you feel that you were the face of your religion and race when you lived in a very white area?

A: Um, like I said, I'm white passing. So no. And when I when I lived in those areas, I was very, very young. So it wasn't even an opportunity for me to even fully understand that my place as a Indian person or a Muslim person, but I definitely did not connect or relate to the white people. They're like it when you're young. You know, you're different. You just can't figure out how yet.

F: Hmm, that's a good way to put it. Yeah.

Is there a bigger divide between the young population and the older population in your culture versus the young white population? And the older white population?

A: Yeah, I think there is. That's a great question. Um, I think it just in that move from India, or any you know, you see this with most immigrants, no matter where they're from, but coming from your the motherland to the west. It's just the culture shock. I mean, with young people, so they want to assimilate. I see that with my peers a lot. They're just very desperate to fit in. They want the American culture they want to behave like white people. Go smoking and drinking and dating and whatever, things that aren't necessarily a part of our culture. But yeah, there's there's a lot of people trying to blend in. And I see a lot of brown people who were Indian when it's convenient, like on Instagram. It's like, “Ooooh, I'm Ethnic”, and then the other six days a week, and they're white. You know?

F: *laughs* Yes, I do. Like, that reminds me of like Halsey who brings out the fact that she's Black(?) when necessary.

A: I mean, like, I get it. There is a struggle there being white passing and still trying to be like, “Hey, I'm here.” Part of this culture and experience in some way or another in like you do feel like you have to prove that. And also, like, as a white passing person, I do feel like I haven't had a lot of experience that feels like a universal experience for other brown people. Like I don't get targeted like that I wasn't bullied for being brown or my skin or my hair or whatever, or my accent. So there is kind of this weird lack of camaraderie because you're not visibly part of your community sometimes. So I kind of understand where she's coming from. But when she uses it as a tool, it's like--

F: Yeah, like, Yeah, exactly. Like if you are using your platform to share voices that have had that experience. Like that's a totally other thing. Yeah, when you pull it out to complain about shampoo at a hotel Yeah, no, it doesn't suit curly hair of shampoo.

A: Who doesn’t bring shampoo?

*laughs*

What do you think about the hard working immigrant stereotype?

A: Um, because, like coming from an Asian background, you do have the people who did were the parents and grandparents who pull themselves up by the bootstraps and actually did work very, very hard to get their kids and grandkids where they are. But at the same time, I think both my parents came from like a generally privileged or like, middle class background. Like, my parents have degrees and my dad always had a job and he had his own apartment and cars stuff there wasn't that sort of struggle with us. I don't think it's not necessarily a universal experience. I do think Asian people need to check their privilege on that one like a lot of us, and we did not have that struggle.

F: Interesting. And this is a final question:

You've lived in diverse areas and very white areas, which area has affected you more?

F: ...although you said that you were in the white areas when you were younger.

A: So I think that definitely did have an effect on me. I think less so in terms of my culture, but more so just as a human being and how I tend to treat myself or treat other people as an adult, and even in school, like I know how it feels to be the outcast, and I know what it feels like to not fit in. So I think in that sense, it's just really shaped my worldview, like being kind to other people and them how I want to treat other people and identifying in other minority groups. How they feel other-ed.

F: Hmm, yeah, using that for good. Mm hmm. Yeah. 

A: Really shaping my own understanding. 

F: Yeah. That's amazing. Um, thank you for doing this.

A: Absolutely. Thank you for interviewing me. I appreciate it.

F: Anytime. If you want to come back anytime I can make more questions. I will stop the recording so we can talk a little bit privately. And thank you again.

Let’s have a discussion! Did you learn anything new from this conversation?

Let me know here.

-

To close out each post, I’d like to write a lil’ paragraph about the person I talk with:

Even though our talk was shorter than others I’ve had in this series, I could tell just how sweet A is. Her voice made me smile constantly throughout our chat. I’m appalled that she, and her community as a whole, have been subjected to the horrors of mankind that often are brushed off or ignored. Her strength and positivity are inspirational for me. I’m once again blessed that she took the time to chat with me. A was also another person who was there for me (sending love to the egg gang, again) and I’m so lucky to have such marvelous people as friends/supporters. A, if you ever need anything I’m sooo here for you.

You’re a sensational person.

-Faithxx

[thecreaturecodex]

Psychlown

“13 Nights 2007 Ghost Clown” © deviantArt user Grimbro, accessed at his gallery here

[The Ghost Clown is another Scooby-Doo antagonist who you think could do better with their skills than monster-themed crimes. Although in this case, it has more to do with how cartoons think hypnosis is magic. At least he was motivated by getting revenge instead of the usual “financial gain” incentive--I’m sure if he wanted money, he could have just hypnotized some bank tellers.

In the Castle Xyntillan module, there are multiple undead clowns and jesters, and these statistics are intended to fill that role if running in PFRPG. I’ve mashed up the Ghost Clown a bit with the Killer Klowns from Outer Space, notably with the acid pies and the bite attack. Although look at the snaggle teeth our artist gave him!]

Psychlown CR 6 CE Undead This garishly colored humanoid appears to be dressed as a clown, but on closer inspection, their makeup is their real skin color. Their teeth are jagged and their eyes are somehow both beady and captivating.

A psychlown is created when a humanoid with psychic potential is mocked and scorned in life. Their bodies take on the clownish appearance that matches their self-image, and they are fueled primarily by spite. Psychlowns hope to humiliate and endanger others, using their skill at hypnotism to place people in risky and embarrassing situations. They often lurk near their original homes, lashing out at those they knew in life. Those that hurt them the most strongly will be murdered, but others may certainly die due to attempting a dangerous stunt, or through self-inflicted injuries under a confusion effect. Their features are warped and distorted to the point that they are hardly recognizable as the person they once were.

A psychlown prefers not to directly engage in combat if it can help it, instead using magic to confound and bewilder foes before escaping. If focused on murder, they use small pies filled with acid as missile weapons. Psychlowns favor overly large hammers and other comedic weapons, but can also inflict a nasty bite. Those bitten by a psychlown are overcome with laughter through the creature’s inherent magic, but possibly also in part to the ridiculousness of being mauled by a clown. Psychlowns have magically deep pockets, and are sometimes courted by larcenous undead such as puppetmasters or spectral creepers to be partners in crime. Psychlowns are unpredictable and unreliable allies, however.

Psychlown             CR 6 XP 2,400 CE Medium undead Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +9 Defense AC 19, touch 14, flat-footed 15 (+4 Dex, +5 natural) hp 68 (8d8+32) Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +7; channel resistance +2 DR 10/magic; Immune undead traits Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee bite +9 (1d8+4 plus mirth) or masterwork earthbreaker +10/+5 (2d6+4/x3), bite +4 (1d8+1 plus mirth) Ranged acid pie +10 touch (4d6+2 acid) Special Attacks acid pies (10/day, DC 16), implant valor Psychic Magic CL 8th, concentration +12 (+16 casting defensively) 15 PE—calm emotions (2 PE, DC 16), confusion (4 PE, DC 18), dimension door (4 PE), enthrall (3 PE, DC 17), hideous laughter (1 PE, DC 15), levitate (2 PE), mirror image (3 PE), suggestion (3 PE, DC 17), touch of idiocy (2 PE) Statistics Str 17, Dex 19, Con -, Int 15, Wis 12, Cha 18 Base Atk +6; CMB +9; CMD 22 Feats Combat Casting, Point-Blank Shot, Precise Shot, Psychic Virtuoso Skills Acrobatics +13, Bluff +10, Diplomacy +10, Disguise +12, Intimidate +12, Perception +9, Perform (comedy) +12, Sense Motive +10, Stealth +12; Racial Modifiers +4 Acrobatics, +4 Perform Languages Abyssal, Common, Necril SQ deep pockets, natural comedian Ecology Environment urban or underground Organization solitary, pair or troupe (3-8) Treasure standard (masterwork earthbreaker, other treasure) Special Abilities Acid Pies (Ex) A psychlown can prepare acidic pies that it throws at its enemies. Treat these as an alchemist’s bombs of an alchemist level equal to the psychlown’s Hit Dice, except that they deal acid damage, and a creature that takes a direct hit suffers 1d6 points of acid damage 1 round later. A psychlown that takes levels in alchemist stacks its acid pie ability with its bombs for the purpose of damage, and can deal fire damage with their pies instead if they choose. Deep Pockets (Su) A psychlown’s pockets act as a handy haversack. It typically keeps a masterwork earthbreaker and its acid pies in these pockets, along with other treasure and props. Implant Valor (Su) A creature that fails its saving throw against a suggestion implanted by a psychlown, whether through its psychic magic or hypnotism occult skill unlock, gains the benefits of a hollow heroism spell (CL 8th). Mirth (Su) A creature bitten by a psychlown must succeed a DC 18 Will save or be overcome with hilarity, as a hideous laughter spell. It may attempt a save every round to overcome this ability. This is a mind-influencing enchantment effect, and the save DC is Charisma based. Natural Comedian (Ex) A psychlown can affect creatures of all types with its hideous laughter ability without penalty. In addition, it can even use hideous laughter to affect undead creatures, even though it is a mind-influencing spell.

[make-it-mavis]

Homesick (Entry #12)

<-Previous | Next-> ----------

12/30/87    1:15 AM

Hey.

I know. Been a couple days. Not having you around to be impatient is turning me into a slacker.

Really, well… things don’t exactly look up from here. Not for a good long while. I survived the attack, sure, but everything changed after that, all in ways I was not remotely prepared for.

Kind of getting ahead of myself, here. I’m gonna assume you’d want to know how I made it out of Dragon’s Lair on the brink of extinction. In a word, tenacity. It must have taken well over two hours just to get back to the terminal. It was a long, arduous, and tedious process, so I’ll try to semi-summarize. 

I wasn’t exactly in an insightful frame of mind when I woke up, but I knew one thing -- I had to get back to Fix-it Felix Jr. and find Fix-it, so he could, well, fix it. My brush, its bucket, and my body, too. That’s what I was counting on. It was all okay, it would all be fine, I just had to make it back. And I did make it, of course. ‘Making it’ is kind of my thing. 

But it was not a fun or easy trip.

Just getting started was tough enough. For the first while, I just stared at my reflection in the crumpled metal of my paint can. I’m not sure why. It was sort of a surreal, third-person confirmation that I was, in fact, alive. I was alive, I was real, and I was whole. You know, relatively. Bleeding tally marks criss-crossed my face, as if my attacker had been keeping score on either cheek -- if you care to know, the left side won. But it all felt wrong. It seemed only minutes since I was in some hellish kind of seizure. I swear to the Devs that I felt myself die. But I didn’t, and the proof was right in front of me, in this warped sort of gallows humor image of myself: A murder victim, pinched, stretched, and squashed in a golden funhouse mirror. I could barely tear my eyes away.

But, once whatever spell I was under faded, I set to work. I dragged myself around, gathering up the mess they’d made of me. Thankfully, finding the little bits of my brush was more tedious than hard, since my pain acted as a sort of radar. The hard part, really, was just… you know, the whole idea of it. Imagine cleaning up gore from your own body.

Eventually, I’d gathered my brush into my hat, and I wrapped it, along with my wrecked paint can, in what was left of my smock. I was lucky they left a piece big enough to do that, actually. It seemed to me that if they left me alive on purpose, they at least wanted me to be intimately humiliated. They didn’t want me to have anything to wear over the incriminating marks on my chest -- even the straps of my tank top had been sliced. Clearly, those idiots underestimated my comfort with partial nudity. I just wore my tank top around my neck like a cowl. It looked kind of dumb and exposed my bruised ribs and I was already freezing, but I had bigger concerns.

And, c’mon, I had just survived attempted murder. The sprites in GCS would survive seeing my bra.

Just when I’d gotten really good at dragging myself around, it was time to stand up. Couldn’t very well get all the way back just with my hands. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that getting to your feet after dogs tried to eat your legs isn’t easy. It hurt. It hurt a lot. My knees and ankles were so swollen that they could barely bend. And, just as a special “screw you” from the Devs, my right leg glitched out. Should’ve seen it coming -- if just being too far away from my tools made it act up, imagine what breaking them would have done. 

I won’t bore us both by recounting every failed attempt to stand. Let’s just say, after a lot of pain, yelling, falling, cursing the Devs, cursing Litwak, and cursing any gamer’s name I could recall, I made it upright. How? I used a fallen branch as a walking stick.

Yeah, a walking stick. Not only did I sound like an old man, I walked like one, too. 

Where once was your kickass Cherry Bomb, there was an old man with a sliced face, no shirt, legs that were barely legs, a weird pouch thing in hand, hobbling along at a pace that a snail could outrun. Kind of a far cry from a flying firecracker. 

But that’s okay, ‘cause you know what’s more fun than flying? Navigating your way out of a forest on your useless feet, while your head is splitting and it hurts to breathe. Bonus points if your vision is still kind of blue and cloudy. Jackpot if your HP is so low, tripping over a root could, in all likelihood, kill you forever.

Yipee.

But, of course, all of that was no match for the aforementioned tenacity. I made it out. But I didn’t have time to celebrate before I was stopped by the Surge Protector on my way into GCS. As if he would let me pass through, looking like that. He took one look and demanded an explanation. At least he sounded pretty horrified.

What did I tell him? Well, what could I tell him? It felt safe to assume that he didn’t see my attackers entering or leaving the game. If he saw a pack of dogs, I think he would have seen my legs and put two and two together. But all he had to go off of was my word, which means nothing to anyone, least of all him. How could I make him understand what happened, when I barely understood myself? What could I make him believe? What wouldn’t have just dug me even deeper, somehow?

Any answer to those questions would have been for naught, anyway. I couldn’t speak at all. Grasping at straws, I tried to just say “dogs,” but the word wouldn’t surface. My mouth just wouldn’t form it. It was like there was a locked door in my throat, barring my voice’s exit.

So I didn’t answer. He asked a few other questions, but I still said nothing. I just stared through him. Literally. I looked through his body at the floor behind him and waited.

He gave up asking pretty quickly. I wondered if he was going to try to fine me for any of it somehow, but he had bankrupted me already. Either he remembered that, or he had a rare lick of sense in that blue, bald head.

Anyway, he at least helped me get back to FFjr’s port. Every sprite in GCS must have watched us go. SP wanted me to pull my shirt down and cover up, but, thankfully, didn’t fight me on it. Having everyone see me like that already made me want to never be seen again -- I didn’t need them seeing your name on my chest and jumping to dangerous conclusions.

We made it to the port without any real trouble, but he stopped me before I could climb into the cord train. He told me that one more incident would land me square in cabinet arrest, for my own safety as much as the arcade’s.

So, yeah, part of him might have thought it was my fault. Asshole.

Gameplay was in session by the time I made it into FFjr. It would be a few hours yet before I could see Fix-it. I couldn’t very well waltz out on-screen, half-naked and covered in blood, without getting us all unplugged. So I just parked myself on the stoop of Niceland’s back door like some macabre special delivery. The concrete was obscenely uncomfortable, and Wreck-it’s wrecking was like thunder that literally shook the ground, but I was too tired to care. Weirdly enough, it was all kind of soothing. I think it was just the familiarity. I couldn’t quite process it at the time, but it really was such a relief to be back in my game. So much that, by some miracle, I fell asleep.

It was only a fitful half-sleep, but it was more rest than I’d gotten in days. Maybe even a week.

[nobodyfamousposts]

The Quirkless Problem (BNHA/SPN Crossover)

So the thing is that I’ve looked but haven’t been able to find a crossover between Hero Academia and Supernatural. To be fair, how can you even make it work?

I have found a way, and it is rather horrible.

Hear me out:

What if the world of Boku no Hero Academia exists BECAUSE of the events of Supernatural?

Say some final battle occurs. Maybe it’s the big old Michael vs Lucifer deathmatch that heaven and hell have been gunning for? Maybe we stick around to season 15 and deal with Chuck? Regardless, SOME final fight occurs and SOME higher being gets ganked to avert the apocalypse.

The problem is that as shown in the series, angels and their ilk can be separated from their grace. We have seen an angel without their grace. We have seen the grace without the angel. We have even seen these beings stealing the grace and powers of other angels and beings like themselves.

But if they die, what happens to the grace and power left behind?

Nobody questions it until reports come in of a glowing baby.

Then suddenly, kids with powers start showing up everywhere. The public is confused. Some panic ensues before it eventually becomes the new normal. They even call these special powers “Quirks”, like it’s something cute instead of...y’know...dangerous.

It turns out that the death of the being of power didn’t mean his power left. It just meant there was nothing for that power to be contained by. So it spreads out and seeps into humanity, granting them powers. Hunters don’t like it, but these ARE humans...just humans with powers. And since all the other humans know about it, they can deal with it while the Hunters stay focused on hunting the non-human things.

As time passes and the number of Quirk-users rise, a discovery is made among those of the Hunter community that somehow, having a Quirk protects these people from the nasty things of the world. Possession, demons, ghosts. Even monsters don’t seem to want to get near them, though that may be due to the fact that many Quirk-users have the ability to make the monsters regret it if they try.

This is good right? The fugly’s and “things that go bump in the night” can’t hurt you. Demons either can’t or won’t possess you. Ghosts leave you alone. No special protections or spells necessary. This is a good thing, right?

Well, yes. Yes, it is. IF YOU HAVE A QUIRK.

For the increasingly smaller Quirkless population, this is not the case. If anything, it’s worse than it ever was because with less available prey/targets/victims, these things are gunning harder for the only game in town.

Eventually, the Quirkless population decreases. Most assume this is due to the increasing number of Quirk-users to the point of outnumbering them. The truth is that this is only partially correct in that more Quirk-users are being born, but also that more Quirkless are dying off more quickly due to the inability to protect themselves.

This trend goes unnoticed by general society (other than enacting regulations about Quirk usage in public, as clearly non-powered people are more vulnerable to harm from Quirks), but not by the Hunters. The Quirkless and Hunter societies merge, and more Quirkless people end up at least aware of and assisting Hunters if not becoming Hunters themselves. Hunters have always been Quirkless, that’s just been their way. But it’s only now that all Quirkless are Hunters. Because if they’re not Hunters, they’re hunted.

It becomes common for Quirkless to carry salt or iron tools. Many of them take to wearing talismans. Quite a number start getting tattoos as soon as they are able to—all of them getting the same one (perhaps a few tattoo artists question the popularity of the strange symbol). Most of them take to learning other languages—latin being the most popular. Some will mark the doors and walls of their homes. A few become “artists” of a sort, some going out of their way to purchase unusual artifacts and paintings while others become “vandals” known for their graffiti of weird symbols in various areas. And all of them go to church (some assume it’s out of praying for a Quirk, but nobody notices them walking out with bottles of water).

And then there’s a man who appears within days after a person is first made aware they are Quirkless. It doesn’t seem to matter where or when. They say he will come if called upon. They say he’s ageless. That he was there when it all began. That he knows things—who is Quirkless or not, how this all began, all the things you’ve done, good or bad. And some of the older Quirkless will swear he looks exactly the same today as he did when he first came to them and warned them of the truth so many years ago.

He goes by “Cas”.

He is a vital source of information. The first and many times only warning that a Quirkless person will get of what’s out there.

Because the worst part of being Quirkless isn’t living in a world where everyone else around  you has special powers when you don’t.

It’s all the OTHER things that come after you because of it.

Every so often, there’ll be a case of a Quirkless who looks like they were attacked by a wild animal. 

Or a Quirkless who seemingly takes their own life.

Or the Quirkless who went mad and started attacking people around them.

Or a number of Quirkless reported to experience strange hallucinations.

Or disappear altogether, never to be found.

But of course nobody thinks much of it.

After all, that’s just the Quirkless Problem.

[detectivedreameater]

Faded || Anita and Marley

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @professoranieves and @detectivedreameater  SUMMARY: Anita rushes to see Marley after discovering she’s been injured.  CONTENT: Head injury, Head trauma

Anita wasn’t sure how many more times she could handle finding out that Marley was severely injured. At least this time she didn’t find out by way of a newspaper article. Erin reaching out to her was at least a bit more personal. She had no idea what Marley was up to that led her to need to see a doctor, but then again she had explicitly asked to be kept out of the loop about those sorts of things. It was better that way, wasn’t it? It wasn’t like she would be any less scared getting the call that Marley had been knocked unconscious had she known what she was up to. This method saved her the pre-injury worry at least. As she drove to this mysterious doctor’s house, Anita was a bit surprised that she hadn’t started crying yet. Last time she could  hardly drive straight as she went to the funeral home because of the tears. They’d come eventually though, she was pretty sure of that.  As she pulled up to the strange house, she quickly parked her car and then got out of her car and ran up to the front door. She tried to open it, but not so surprisingly, it was locked. She banged on the door repeatedly, expecting Erin or Marley to answer. But instead a petite woman she hadn’t met before answered the door, and initially would not let her in. Nothing she said bore much convincing until she showed the woman an admittedly risk-ay selfie of the two of them. As she headed into the room where Marley was she was pretty worried about what she might find. But as she entered the room, she looked relatively alright. No visible blood, that was good. Bandages weren’t ideal, but her eyes were open, so that was promising. “Hey,” she said shaikly. “You do something stupid again?”

 Time slipped by unendingly, but she couldn’t keep track of it. Marley stared up at the ceiling as if it could solve all her problems. That maybe if she looked hard enough, the little dots on the ceiling would form together and spell out what to say, what to do. But it didn’t. It never did. Her only semblance that time was passing was when Queenie came in to check up on her. That was it. Sometimes her eyes would close for what felt like seconds, only to open hours later. And sometimes her eyes would close for what felt like hours, only to open seconds later. Her head pounded. Her chest wheezed. Pain shot through every part of herself, even the parts that had been left untouched by Roy and his magic and his ire. Erin hadn’t come to visit her yet. Why hadn’t she come? It was all Marley could think about. Why had no one visited her? Her eyes closed again. And then there was a voice and they opened so quickly, because she’d felt as if she’d been aching to hear that voice. “Anita,” she exhaled, turning her head to look, wincing with the effort. The world spun around her and she blinked, heavily. Tried to sit up, but fell back down with a cry when she was reminded her ribs were still snapped in half. Wheezing, she laid back down. “What did you say? What did--” she asked, the words having already slipped her mind. “What took you so long?”

 Anita was a bit confused by the questioning. She had gotten there as quickly as she could, hopping in her car as soon as Erin had reached out to her. Had Erin waited a while before telling her what had happened? The idea that Marley had been lying here alone for an extended period of time made her feel sick. Not as sick as she felt watching her try to sit up and falling back in pain. “I got here as soon as I heard…” She said softly as she walked closer towards where Marley was laying. All she wanted to do was reach out and touch her, but once more she was in a situation where she wasn’t sure if touching would do more harm than good. “What happened?” The question was practically rhetorical. While she was no medical doctor, it didn’t really take one to tell that Dr. Lin-King gave her some powerful painkillers. Marley was so out of it that Anita kinda wished she had asked the doctor some questions before just rushing into this room. The longer she stayed in there, the faster she felt the tears finally coming through. She looked so much worse than the last time. And there wasn’t anything she could do about it. 

 “As soon as you heard?” Marley questioned, turning her head to the side to look at Anita. There was blots in her vision and she tried to blink them away, but they kept coming back. “How long ago was that?” she tried to sit up again, straining in pain. “How long have I been here?” She wracked her brain trying to recall, but nothing came to mind. She remembered a warehouse, sunlight, screaming. Then pain. Marley cried out again, clutching her head. “Where am I again?” she looked over at Anita. When had she gotten here? Marley blinked heavily. “I don’t know,” she said, “I got hurt.” Something else played behind her eyes. Hands, screaming. Cracking ribs and dancing shadows. Erin. “Someone attacked us.” 

 Anita glanced down at her watch, “Maybe 15 minutes ago? I jumped into my car as soon as Erin messaged me.” Even though Anita was a doctor, she was no medical doctor. However, she remembered enough from her coursework surrounding anatomy and biology to see that bandages on the head, disorientation, and jumbled speech likely meant concussion. And probably a rather severe one. “You’re uh... at some Doctors house? Dr. Lin-King? Do you know her?” She looked around the room for a stool or chair, once she found one she pulled it up next to the bed Marley was laying on and sat down. “Us? Who else was with you? Are they alright?” 

 “Erin,” Marley said hurriedly, and suddenly she was trying to sit up again, despite knowing pain was coming. She strained, groaning, but managed to push herself up enough to sit, leaning against the pillows and headboard. “Is she-- where is--” she started, but couldn’t finish, doubling over in pain. “Doctor…” she thought for a moment, closed her eyes, “yes, I know her. She’s the-- I told you about her. She’s the doctor that agreed to…” she trailed off again, the rest of what Anita said finally registering in her brain. “Erin,” she said again, “Felix, they were-- where are they? I have to find them, I need to-- are they okay?” Started trying to shift again, as if to get out of the bed. “I have to find them.”

 “Marley, stop you’re going to hurt yourself.” Anita quickly reached out and grabbed her hand, hoping to sort of bring her back to the moment, to calm her down. “Erin is good enough to tell me you were hurt. I - I don’t know who Felix is. Do you want me to go ask Dr. Lin-King about them? Or I can message Erin? But you… you can’t leave just yet Marley. You need to rest.” Those weren’t the words Marley would want to hear, and she knew that. But it was the truth, if she tried to go out looking for anyone like this - night immunity or not, it didn’t seem like it would end well. 

 “I have to go, what if he’s still--” Marley groaned with effort, falling back down, squeezing Anita’s hand so tightly it turned white. She grabbed her head, feeling the bandages beneath the palm of her hand. “What if Roy’s still out there, he’s going to come after her. I have to--” her vision blurred again and the room spun, and one Anita turned into three and she slammed her eyes shut. “He was going to kill her. He was trying to kill her,” that was the last thing Marley remembered. Erin screaming, angry eyes staring her down, unblinking. Pressure in her head. “Can you ask her? You have to ask her. I need to know she’s okay. I need to…”

 Anita gasped slightly at the soft pain that she felt when Marley squeezed her hand, but she felt almost guilty because she knew Marley had to be in so much more pain. “Roy? Is that who… who attacked you?” Shit, maybe knowing what she had been up to beforehand would have been helpful. “Roy was going to kill Erin?” It felt somewhat meaningless to be asking these questions since she knew it was very unlikely she’d get a clear response. Anita wasn’t sure how to fill that request. She didn’t want to leave Marley's slide and talking to the doctor or trying to get in touch with Erin would both require her to let go of her hand. “Erin’s the one who told me to come see you. She’s okay.” Anita really needed that to be true. But it did stand to reason that she wouldn’t be online messaging people if she was badly hurt… or worse. 

 “He was-- he was there to--” Marley tried to recall, but all she could remember was pain. Gunshots. Sunlight. So much pressure. Erin was dying, he was killing her and-- “He found us. Somehow...he found us and he…” she put her head in free hand, still squeezing Anita’s as the memories tried to flood back in. “I messed up,” she said, “I couldn’t-- it was daytime. I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t even try to run, I just--” she lifted her head and looked at Anita through hazy eyes, “why didn’t I run?” She knew Anita didn’t have the answers, but she searched for them anyways. She remembered a darkness, falling through it. Beeping, a flat line. Electric paddles. “I think I died.”

 I think I died. Anita couldn’t focus on anything except those words. Was this some strange mara thing? Nine lives or something? No, Marley would have told her that the night they talked about her going after that fucking bear. So this had to be the more, for lack of a better word, human way to die and come back. A medical death. Or maybe the pain just felt so intense that she thought she was dying. “Well... if you did… it was only briefly?” She didn’t have any other words that felt fitting. She wasn’t the best person to go to for comfort. So she just brought her lips to Marley’s hand that she was holding and pressed a soft kiss to it. “It’s gonna be alright,” she said softly. 

 When Anita’s cold lips brushed against Marley’s hand, she looked up from her bed and then, and only then, did she realize the ferocity of her grip. She let go instantly, struck by the strangeness of it, feeling her hand begin to shake even in Anita’s grip still. She felt as if she had no control of her own hand, staring wide as wide eyed as she could as a weariness began to hang over her head. “Is it?” she asked quietly, wondering if those words could ever possibly be true when she couldn’t even recall what had happened. When she wasn’t sure if they’d managed to kill Roy or if she was going to come back to news of two dead friends or if she was possibly next on the list. She tried to pull her hand away, but found herself too weak, and instead just let her arm go limp in Anita’s hand. “I don’t feel like myself,” she said, staring up at the ceiling again. “It feels like something is missing.”

Anita just sat there, keeping her hand wrapped around Marley’s. She had no words. She didn’t know if it was going to be alright. She didn’t know what to say to her comments. All she had the energy to focus on was the fact that Marley was alive, even if she did briefly die. If she could, Anita would’ve climbed into that bed with her and just laid there together. But it was a small space, and she wasn’t going to do anything that might agitate or hurt Marley even more. “I’m just glad you’re alive.” Was this what being with her was going to be like? Every month or so picking her up from some strange place half-dead? 

 Anita’s silence was loud in Marley’s ears. She turned her head away, closing her eyes tightly, trying to keep herself from showing the pain she was in inside. The confusion, the jumbled memories, the missing information. She bit her lip, trying to keep the sob building in her throat from coming out, but she was too tired, too worn, to keep it back for long. Tears drained down her face silently until they weren’t anymore and her grip in Anita’s hand tightened again. She didn’t know what else to say, she didn’t know how to ask for what she needed. So, instead, she just said, “I’m sorry,” through the strained tears, “I’m sorry.”

 Although she had been doing her best to maintain her composure, when Anita saw Marley start to cry she fairly quickly followed suit. She wanted to be strong for her, be the person to pick her up off her feet and help her through this. But it was so hard. Seeing her like this was so much harder than she thought it would be so she just let the tears stream out. “No,” she shook her head softly, “you don’t have to apologize, okay?” Based on what she could piece together, it sounded like Marley got hurt protecting Erin, and maybe also that Felix guy. That wasn’t something that needed apologizing for, even if Anita was hurting emotionally. “I’m right here, okay? I’m here for you.” She pressed another kiss to her hand, resting her forehead there for a moment before sitting up and looking over at her again. 

 Anita’s words brought no comfort. Marley thought back to all the times she’d yearned for the other woman to hold her and touch her and hear her, and felt as if her chest were caving in in that moment. The sound of her tears collapsing Marley’s heart more and more into itself. She’d done this. She’d done this to them both. “You shouldn’t--” she started, but the words were a crackled mess in her throat and even more so when spoken, “--I shouldn’t-- I can’t--” but she couldn’t finish any of her sentences. She wanted to know if Erin was really alright, she needed to know how badly she was hurt. And Felix-- she didn’t even know if he was alive. If Roy was alive. If Roy was dead. She didn’t know anything and it tore at her chest, as if someone were trying to dig a hole through her ribs and tear out her heart. And she hated it. “Just-- can you--” she still didn’t know how to ask, squeezing Anita’s hand tighter, “--please. Even if it hurts, I just want to...need to feel you. I need to feel real.”

 It didn’t take but a moment for Anita to realize what Marley was asking for. After all, it was something she had wanted to do but she was just too worried about causing her more pain. But she couldn't say no to her in this state. She stood up, then gently sat down on the edge of the bed and moved Marley’s arm out of the way. Anita then laid down on her side beside Marley, careful to only be touching the non-injured parts of her body. She rested her head on the pillow and placed her chin against Marley’s shoulder and her hand rested against Marley’s stomach. The one good thing was knowing that ice was likely good for most of her physical wounds, so at least she was going to be able to cool her down a bit. “You’re real,” she whispered as she pressed a kiss to her shoulder. 

 Was she real? Marley wasn’t sure anymore. What was and wasn’t real. Her mind couldn’t put the pieces together yet. Was the cold Earth she’d woken up on real? Was the pain in her chest real? Was the strange man real? Was she real? Was her pain real? Too much at once made her head hurt again and she began to shiver. Not because she was cold, but because she had little control over her body. She could remember someone, the doctor-- Queenie-- telling her that her head trauma was extensive. That she might have brain damage, that they wouldn’t be able to tell until she showed signs. And that she might never. Anita’s weight pressing on the bed reminded her of one thing she knew to be true, though. She wasn’t alone. An arm on her stomach, chin on her shoulder. She stayed staring up at the ceiling, eyes drooping. How was she supposed to tell Anita what the doctor said? How was she supposed to take part of herself away from her? “Stay,” was all she said, ever so quietly, “just for a bit.”

 Sometimes when Anita was with Marley she wondered if she had always been capable of feeling the things she felt around her but had just never let herself before. Before she had met Marley six months ago she couldn’t imagine being this torn up over someone getting injured. But as she laid there beside her newfound partner, her body ached as if the injuries were her own. “I’ll stay for as long as you want me to.” Maybe she was starting to get that whole revenge thing, because she knew that if she was alone in a room with whoever did this to Marley right now, venom would be coursing through their veins. 

[smokeybrand]

Master Class

The BlueStacks thing worked and i have access to my FGO account again! Man, it’s been a year apparently. I thought it was less than that. It’s weird returning to this game after so long. Everything is so different. I had to re-acclimate to my account. I rolled into the end of that Battle of New York event so i missed that. Might partake in the rerun. I got a ton of the 15 missions to finish but I'm definitely putting those off for about a week because of leveling. I missed out on Abby and that f*cking sucks I wanted SO badly to try and roll my adorable Old One. Maybe next time. As a way of just re-familiarize myself, i wanted to run through the available Classes we have now. There’s quite a few and i need to catch up!

Saber

Saber is my favorite Class. I mean, off course it is. The majority of my favorite Servants are in this class. Artoria Alter, Gozen, Nero, Lakshmibai, Gawain, and obviously, Modred. Modred is love. As a Class, Sabers make for great vanguards, man. They often deal a sh*t ton of damage and take a good amount before they crap out. That said, they get eaten up by Archers, man. It feels like that Affinity advantage hits a little harder on my swords-wielders. Favorite Saber: Mordred

Archer

Archers and i have a love hate relationship. They’re dope, don’t get me wrong, but they never seem like they’re properly strong. They feel like Archers to me, if you can understand that weirdness. Like, they’ll take you out but it’ll definitely cost a lot more effort than a strong Saber. Still, the characters are dope and the animation to their Noble Phantasms are almost always epically cinematic like Atalante’s Phoebus Catastrophe or EMIYA’s Unlimited Blade Works. Favorite Archer: Gilgamesh

Lancer

Lancers are my second favorite Class, mostly because of Cu. Cu gets bad rap most of the time. Dude is hilarious. Also Diarmuid. They did dude dirty in Zero. I enjoy Lacers mostly because of how well balanced they feel. They dish a good amount of damage while maintaining a decent amount of defense. They’re not as hardbody as Sabers and, indeed, get absolutely rag-dolled by them, but they stand their own against the other Classes fairly well. Favorite Lancer: Karna

Rider

Riders are a quandary to me. So many of them are throw away characters, weak as sh*t, but then you get absolute powerhouses out of nowhere. Francis Drake, Iskander, Quetzalcoatl, Ivan the Terrible, and Ozymandias will ruin your whole ass day if they’re spec’d right but the rest of the entire available Servant int this class are negligible. Even so, they hold a special place in my heart because my darling Medusa is a Rider. Also, Swimsuit Mordred is Rider so this Class got that going for it, too. I do adore all things Mo. Favorite Rider: Medusa

Caster

I hate Casters. They feel so goddamn weak, all of the time. If you’re not firing off a Noble Phantasm, they’re whack and, even when you do that, there is a real good chance it’s a support spell or some sh*t. I don’t need to debuff anything, f*cking do some damage, clown! This entire class is like utility because there is no way they are relevant in a real battle. Favorite Caster: Swimsuit Nero

Assassin

Ah, the Assassins. These motherf*ckers area whole ass frustration. Don’t misunderstand, i like them, they’re physical powerhouses, but can a cat get an Anti-Army Noble Phantasm at least once? All of these thing are focused on single unite attacks and threat can make for some dangerous play, man. Ludicrously OP play, but you have the same chance of dying as your opponent running these sneaky bastards. Favorite Assassin: Semiramis

Berserker

Berserkers area waste, man. All of that power, all of that ludicrous violent potential, and they’re always at an Affinity disadvantage due to the Madness curse. It f*cking blows because these beasts are real f*cking weapons of mass destruction, you know? I never use Berserkers for that exact point, unless going up against a swath of other Berserkers. That’s the only viable time you can use them efficiently and that sh*t almost never happens in game. Favorite Berserker: Ibaraki Douji

Ruler

Rulers are as useless as Caster but, somehow, disappointingly, moreso. They at least got a dope aesthetic, though. They also take half damage from literally every other Class. That’s cool, i guess. Favorite Ruler: Amakusa Shiro

Avenger

I love Avengers, man. Love em! These things are always dope. Great power. Great defense. Dope aesthetic. These things get it rough from Moon Cancers but everyone else is at their mercy, especially if you leveled them correctly. I have a few Avengers, personally, and one is literally the second card i maxed out fully. I’ll let you guess who it it is. Hint - She’s a Medusaface. Space Ishtar, Alter Jeanne, and Demon Nobu are also worthy of mention. Favorite Avenger: Gorgon

Moon Cancer

Moon Cancers are just an excuse to shove in more Sakurafaces in the form of BBs and i am here for it. The more Sakura i can get, the happier i am. I love Sakura. I don’t care for Moon Cancers as a whole Class, though. Also, i don’t have any anyway. F*ck em! Favorite Moon Cancer: Summer BB

Alter Ego

Alter Egos are so confusing to me. Like, why are they a thing? Why are they just not Alters or whatever? There is a legitimate reason, i know they are separate version that gained sentience and not just a different facet of the same character or whatever the explanation was, but even so, sh*t i contrived nonsense and i kind of love it. Nasu is absolutely known for it’s convolution and Alter Ego are no different. They’re the most TYPE-Moon sh*t ever, after Saberfaces. Favorite Alter Ego: Sesshoin Kiara

Foreigner

Foreigners are a blessing, aren’t they? Motherf*ckers are wonky as f*ck and just Some of the dopest Servant in all of Fate lore originate in this Class. F*cking Voyager, Yang Gufei, XX, Katsushika Hokusai, and two versions of my darling Abby Williams. And i don’t have any of them. F*ck my life, bro. Just, f*ck it all up, man. Favorite Foreigner: Abby Williams

That is all the available classes in Fate/Grand Order right now and, i think, all of them in the Fate franchise as whole. I’m sure there are some weirdly loose ones like Gunner or Faker. Once upon a time, the only wonky class was Avenger but now we got all these new ones, and just call them Extra Classes. It’s ridiculous. It’s all very much Nasu and i am having the best time revisiting my favorite franchise from the Nasuverse! Speaking of Extra, for the record, my favorite Servant in the Beast Class is Tiamat. You can’t Summon her, so it felt like a cheat to put her on the actual list but i do enjoy me some ancient Sumerian Dragon-Mother.

[monstersdownthepath]

Theme Bestiary: Chavazvug

CR 22

Chaotic Evil Colossal Outsider

Pathfinder Bestiary 6, pg. 232~233

Standing at a height of nearly 50 feet high, Chavazvug is a greasy beacon of hope for qlippoth-kind as he charges bravely forward into the demonic hordes, taking down as many of them as he can until the Chaotic Evil demons somehow find a way to bypass his Regeneration 15 (Lawful) and put an end to him... for a little while, anyway. 1d10 days after his death he springs from his bile lakes, ready and raring to charge back into the fray and continue his work.

There are few qlippoth that can properly claim to hate demons more than Chava here, and his single-minded devotion to their extinction means he’s the least antagonistic of all Qlippoth Lords to mortals he may encounter. So immense is his demonic bloodthirst that his Slaughter Demon ability gives him +4 to attack and damage rolls versus demonic life--including demonic Tieflings--and makes his critical hits deal three times as much damage as normal while also granting him the benefits of the Death Knell spell with each fiendish life he ends. Don’t let this fool you into thinking he’s friendly, GOD do not let this make you think he’s friendly, because once he runs out of demons? Then comes getting rid of sinful mortals to keep more from popping up. If you’re lucky enough to find him in a good mood, you may be able to convince him to bring you back to life once he’s finished splitting you like a log with his 3/day Resurrection... But it comes with a price. His Tainted Resurrection moves anyone he brings back one step closer to Chaotic Evil, while imposing a -4 penalty on their saves versus the abilities of any qlippoth, a penalty that can never be alleviated without dying again and being raised by someone else.

But we’ll get to why having a penalty on saves is terrible in just a bit. Before that, Chava’s melee offense is typically enough to carry him merrily through his rampages, his generous 30ft reach meaning his twin talon attacks (2d8+13 + 2d6 Fire) and quartet of bites (2d6+13 + 2d6 Fire) can hit enemies tripping over themselves trying to flee. That damage might not seem impressive at first, but anyone bitten by the mouths at the end of his intestinal coils risk ending up grabbed and Fast Swallowed into his horrifying innards, where they take 10d6 bludgeoning and 10d6 Fire damage every round they remain inside. His Scalding Flesh also means creatures that strike him in battle take 1d6 Fire damage, and anyone grappling or grappled by him (including those he’s swallowed) take 4d6 more Fire damage!

Java’s Bug, however, has a lot more than just his natural weapons at his disposal. Once every 1d4 rounds, for example, he can let loose an apocalyptically powerful sneeze from his various seeping orifices as a swift action, spraying everything within 60ft of his form with boiling, acidic bile. Anyone failing a Reflex save to get the hell out of the way takes 10d10 Fire damage and 10d10 Acid damage from the Qlippoth Juice, and must make another save to avoid being nauseated for a round! And that’s not all! Because if you think you can fight a literal towering inferno without getting set on fire, you’ve got another thing coming!

Contagious Flame, Fireball, and Wall of Fire all at-will, Quickened Contagious Flame 3/day, Delayed Blast Fireball 3/day to set up lovely little traps, Wall of Lava 3/day to make the battlefield as hostile as possible... And Meteor Swarm 1/day to really bring it all home! And, what’s this? You’ve actually thought ahead and brought some Fire Resistance or Fire Immunity? Well that just won’t do, and Chavazvug has a thoroughly unpleasant away around that.

Anyone who witnesses the repulsive true form behind Chava’s Horrific Appearance is struck red and orange with a fever so high that it feels like the victim’s about to burst into flames. Anyone who fails a DC 28 Will save when confronted with the cruel reality of the Qlippoth Lord’s appearance has all of their Fire Resistance permanently cut in half, takes a -4 penalty to saves versus Fire effects, and becomes vulnerable to Fire. This ability affects ALL resistance, even if it’s gained after the victim becomes vulnerable. This weakness is so intense that it causes creatures with the Fire subtype to lose that subtype, meaning Chavazvug can technically burn creatures made entirely out of fire! Even having complete immunity to Fire won’t save you, the curse of the Crawling Inferno removing the immunity entirely... Though, as a bit of a saving grace, having or gaining immunity to Fire while under the effects of the blighted fever prevents the other penalties, including the vulnerability, from affecting you. You’ll still lose your immunity, but any Resistance you have or gain will operate at full capacity!

Unless he hits you with his Horrific Appearance again, anyway.

You can read more about him here.