#every roll is now a day of travel even if you don't get the progress mark

[veunho]

Playing Nor Gloom Of Night when absolutely nobody ever has uploaded their own experience with the game so every step I take I'm like am I doing this shit right;;;

[sacredwrath]

P5. Breakfast

Past captivity + torture, panic attack, ptsd, confusion, angst, whumpee thinks caretakers are whumper (briefly)

Jesse watches their family eat. Jordan is the only person seemingly unaffected by the events of yesterday. The break neck speed of their story doesn't leave room for thought, much less interjection. Jesse is glad. Hearing about the new pine fort they’re building in the forest relaxes them, keeping them grounded in the moment.

“OH- and Jes, when your leg is better, you also have to see, there's a new nest! It's over by beaver creek! I couldn't tell if they were swallows for sure, but they looked like it. One has a blue head, and you can hear the babies from all the way down the path!”

“Wow!” Jesse tries. “How's the dam? Are the beavers still working on it?”

“Oh yes! They've made so much progress. I don't really know what a finished dam looks like, but it must be getting close now! I saw one of them…”

It feels strange to see life move on. To Jordan and the rest, to the beavers, life just kept moving. They feel strangely out of place, like a time traveler peering in at their own life, their past life.

Jordan chugs their apple juice, quiet for the first time the whole meal. They slam their cup down on the table and Jesse berates themself for their flinch, glancing quickly around to see if anyone noticed.

“Anyways, see you losers later! Bye Jesse, I have to show you my bow and arrow later, Jake helped me make it while you were gone.” They hop off their chair gathering up trinkets and shoving them in a bag.

“I can't wait!” Jesse smiles. They have to look away, tears springing unbidden to their eyes. They missed this, missed breakfast, missed Jordan and their wild adventures. “Hey Jordan” they call after the scurrying figure “can I have a hug”

“Of course!” Jordan sprints back to the table and tackles Jesse in a hug.

“Oof” they grunt, but squeeze back just as tightly.

Once they've left and only the adults are left, Jesse dabs at their eyes with a napkin, keeping their eyes on their plate. They aren't ready for the gentle questions, the concerned glances, having to explain. They can sense their family's curiosity, their concern, but aren't ready to face it.

Isa jumps in, expertly filling the silence with casual conversation. Drawing everyone in and carefully steering talk away from Jesse. They have never been more grateful for that particular kindness.

Jake talks about a new girl he met down in the city. They're getting coffee, again, on Saturday. The others tease him about the disastrous end of his last whirlwind romance. Jesse missed it.

Nora complains that Misha keeps sabotaging her tinctures. “You're the worst mentor!” She exclaims. “she keeps assigning me all these formulas, then changes the recipe halfway through.”

“Don't question my methods, young one. I'm teaching you medicine not how to follow a recipe.” Misha grins wickedly. Nora rolls her eyes.

“You see what I put up with every day.” she leans over as if for a kiss, but snaps at Mishas lip instead.

“ow! You animal!” Misha snaps, dragging her into a hug.

Jesse finds themself smiling, letting the normalcy wash over them. It feels so good to finally be home.

Without warning Jesse's throat starts to feel tight. They gasp, feeling hands close around their neck. Throwing themself back, away from the table, they topple their chair and land hard, jarring their leg. Panic floods them, their blood runs ice cold. They have to get away.

Hands reach for them and they scream, scrambling back, throwing up arms to protect their face even though they know it's pointless. Hands squeezing their throat, they claw at them, trying to rip them away.

Too many people,

Nowhere to go

Escape

Escape

Escape

Escape

They scramble away

Away from what?

They lash out at something, nails ripping through skin

Are they screaming?

Their back slams into a wall

They try and wedge themself behind something, try to hide

Their heart is beating too fast, pain ripping through their chest, and the hands are still crushing their throat

“Please-” They try to beg, but the word gets stuck

“Jesse” It's Isa's voice, calm and clear

They must be hallucinating. Isa can't be here.

“Jesse, it's me, Isa, can you hear me?”

Why is Isa here?

They can't breath, how did they catch her too?

The hands are so tight on their neck.

They're getting dizzy, but still trying to push Morgan back. They aren't strong enough, there's no point fighting. There never is.

He smothers them, arms encircling theirs, pinning them to their sides.

Thought slows, their head turning to mud

They feel every millimeter of skin against theirs burning in anticipation of pain

“please…” They whimper through numb lips. The most pointless word to ever exist, but against all experience the arms let go

It's Isa, stepping back from them

Confusion and hurt flash through them. Why is she her? Why is she the one hurting them?

Their visual field broadens and they see everyone else too. Their whole family arrayed in front of them

Slowly, reality oozes back into focus

Isa isn't there, back in their cell, they themself aren't there. Not anymore, they were rescued. Now they're here. They're home

Here and home

They take in the room, large windows letting in sunlight and a soft, cool breeze.

Wooden floors under them, the smell of breakfast still in the air.

They realize they're huddled in a ball under the breakfast bar, a fallen chair on onside and their friends panicked faces on the other

What just happened?

“Isa?” They ask.

She reaches for them, but stops before they make contact.

“Jes! Are you ok? What just happened?”

They breath a short, unconvincing laugh. “Don't know.” They struggle, “can you help me up?”

Isa is careful to touch them, and they suddenly feel embarrassed. They never wanted their friends to see them like this. Like they were with him

Averting their eyes, they mumble a thank you as Isa half carries them to the couch.

They still feel shaky, light-headed, and confused. Now that the panic is fading, they find they can't clearly remember what just happened.

“I'm sorry.” They try “I'm not sure what happened.”

“That's ok, it was probably a panic attack. Here,” Isa takes a glass of water from Jake and holds it out to them.

In still shaking hands, they take it, focusing hard not to spill. A few sips help them feel more present, but they can't stop their trembling

“Sorry-” They try again, not sure what else to say. A tidal wave of pent-up emotion building in their chest. They fight to keep it in. “Sorry- I don't- sorry”

“It's ok Jes, there's nothing to be sorry for.” Isa reaches for them again and they flinch, tears building in their eyes faster than they can blink them away.

“Sorry, it's not you-”

“I know, there's nothing to be sorry for. You've just been through- something terrible. We all understand-”

“You don't.” Jesse snaps, regretting it immediately. Heat rushes to their cheeks “I'm sorry-” they don't want to look up and see the hurt on their faces. They bury their face in their hands.

“You're right, we don't understand, but we'd like to, we want to help you.”

Jesse says nothing. No one should understand, but selfishly, they wish someone did.

The manage to regain control of the tears, shoving them back down.

“It's ok.” They try. “I'm ok now.” They force a smile. “Sorry you had to see that.”

Isa narrows their eyes at them in displeasure. “Jes we want to help you. Just tell us what you need.”

“I- right now, I just want to drop it ok? I can't…” They trail off

“Ok. It's dropped. For now.” Isa puts on a shaky smile. “But we're all here for you when you're ready.”

Jesse nods, wondering if they'll ever be ready.

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Tag list: @whumpacabra

[translucent-at-best]

Scatter-brained...

I told myself I'd start back on dating apps on April 13th. I've also told three friends. I'm like... 50% ready and 50% regretting mentioning it to them because I know they'll hold me accountable (which is, of course, why I told them in the first place). Welp. We gon' see.

Bought myself a vacuum mop combo cleaner that got delivered today and I'm irrationally excited to use it. This feels very 30s of me. I also made myself an Amazon wishlist of things I want to get for my apartment and am going to buy myself something off it every month. Next month, I'm looking to get a stool for my shower (because I've had one too many close calls standing up and masturbating with my shower head). Shit, maybe I'll get two things since it'll be my birthday month. We'll see.

I really live in LA. I was driving on the freeway over the weekend, on the way to visit a friend, and it was warm enough to roll my windows down. It's March. And this is my reality because I live in LA now and not the east coast city I grew up in. I wanted to do this shit and I did it. And I've built community out here. That thought hit me hard the other day. Thank you, God. Thank you, me.

I need a new job and I don't want one doing what I went to school for. Fuck. I'm over having a front row seat just to watch all the ways this world and this government are fucking these kids up every chance they get.

I said I was going to schedule and go to all my doctor's appointments this year. So far, I've had two appointments and I've got more scheduled. I said I was going to travel and see my family more this year. So far, I've gone home for my uncle's funeral, I'm going to Hawaii with my family next week, and in May, I'm traveling to NM for my cousin's college graduation. I said I was going to join a gym and I did that. I said I was going to start taking more walks and I've been doing that. I said I was going to get my retirement accounts in order and I've done that. I said I was going to get a travel credit card and I did that too.

I trick myself into thinking that I'm not making any progress on my goals just because they're not all accomplished right now today and that's not fair to me. I be doing shit.

I miss watching it grow from soft to hard. I miss a lot of things, to be honest.

These stores really just up and stopped selling plus sizes without a word about it. Now it's, "not in store, but we have them online." Fuck good is it doing me there? Especially when there's no uniformity in sizing. Ugh, they make my ass itch. I'm trying to shop for vacation clothes and this shit is blowing me.

Listen... I ain't never had any interest in dating outside of my race, but uh... if I get to Hawaii and a tall and sturdy, bearded Samoan get to winking at me I'm gonna need y'all to mind your business, hear?

This is long as shit, ain't it? I don't know why I have it in my mind that these Scatter-brained posts have to have at least ten bullet points. Who is that rule for? I don't even know when I came up with it. I can literally not do it at any point, but for some reason...

[black-arcana]

HALESTORM's LZZY HALE: 'We're Finishing Up Writing A New Album'

In an interview with the "Everblack" podcast conducted at the Brisbane date of this month's Knotfest Australia, HALESTORM frontwoman Lzzy Hale spoke about the progress of the songwriting sessions for the band's follow-up to 2022's "Back From The Dead" album. She said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "We're finishing up writing a new album. And we're gonna get back in April to finish it up. We'll be there in a few weeks, and, yeah, we'll see what happens. And then we'll be back here [in Australia] before you know it with some new music."

Asked what the new HALESTORM album will be called, Lzzy said: "Oh, we don't know that yet. As is tradition in HALESTORM, we always have the best ideas right when we start, and then we totally trash it, and it's, like, very last minute, 'What are we calling the record?' Last minute, that's what we do. So, yeah, we don't know. We're gonna let it tell us what it is. It's not up to us; it's the music."

Earlier in the month, HALESTORM guitarist Joe Hottinger told Monica Strut of Knotfest Australia about the songwriting process for the band's next LP: "Our goal as a band is may the best song win. So riffs are great and all, but at the day, it comes down to the song. Is it a good song or not? And not only is it, like, good, but it's gotta be great. We have, like, stupid standards. And so really anything goes. If it's a riff and it starts there, a riff and a melody, cool. Lzzy writes constantly, so she's always got songs that we're putting together.

"We haven't been in a studio since — I mean, recording for a record — since September," he revealed. "We've been busy. We've been traveling a bit. But we've been writing since then. And while we were at the last one, we just kind of rolled in and wrote a song in the morning and recorded it that night, and it was kind of everything fresh. We started out a few riffs, but, really, the idea was more about being in that moment. I was talking with Lzzy about it while we were in there, and it was, like 'Yeah, it's kind of like we came into the studio with nothing but 20 years of being a band together.' [Laughs] So, we know how to play — we're all players, we can play, we can write. So, like, 'It's a good idea. Cool. Yeah, let's do that. All right, let's record it. Here we go.' And I don't even remember what I played. I haven't listened to those songs in a while. And I vaguely remember any of them because it gets so intense. I think we did, like, 13 of them. Day after day after day after day after day, to the point where you're just, like, 'I don't know anything anymore.'"

Joe also talked about HALESTORM's writing and recording approach with producer Dave Cobb after making three records with Nick Raskulinecz.

"We had a few ideas going in, but we told [Dave] we didn't really… We'd been touring constantly and we didn't get together and put together anything solid," Hottinger said. "And he was, like, 'Great. Even better.' And that was exciting, 'cause we've never really done that before for a record, like just sit in a room and knock out a song a day — just go, go, go. And it was really intense. And I think it's great. And that was just round one, the first volley of songs. We'll see if any of 'em even make it. But we've got just a boatload more songs now. We haven't even gotten together and riffed them all out yet or wrapped our heads around them. We just have these demos. We're, like, 'All right.' Lzzy's writing right now. We love doing that. She'll go and write with friends or other people that she respects, which I think is great, 'cause she gets to bounce ideas off of somebody else, somebody that… Every song is like a puzzle, and she gets to put it together with somebody else who's better at different parts of the puzzle than maybe one of us. And then we grab a hold of it and make it a HALESTORM song."

In a separate interview with Niclas Müller-Hansen of RockSverige, Joe stated about HALESTORM's decision to work with Cobb this time around: "We've been a fan of Dave for a long time. He does like everything from country stuff like Chris Stapleton and Jason Isbell to EUROPE and GRETA VAN FLEET, RIVAL SONS and AIRBOURNE. He's a rocker at heart and we needed to switch it up. It's our last record on Atlantic. Luckily, he wanted to work with us."

Lzzy added: "We were seeking him out for a while and the people at our label and everybody was, like, 'No. He's too busy. He's not gonna wanna work with you.' And we were, like, 'Well, just ask him. Just reach out to him. We can take the rejection because we've been doing it our entire life.' It's, like, why be all sensitive now? They went ahead, like, 'Hey, Cobb, there's this band HALESTORM…' and he went, 'Oh my God, I love HALESTORM! What are they doing?' and they told him, 'Well, they're thinking about doing a record…' and he said, 'I wanna do a record with HALESTORM.' He had a whole plan apparently."

Joe continued: "And it's not, like, 'Fuck Nick,' because he's one of our best friends. We talked to him and he went, 'Fuck, yeah. Switch it up.' We made a bunch of records. It's not like we'll never not record again."

Regarding HALESTORM's overall approach to writing and recording with Cobb, Joe said: "We dive in, but it's just like trial by fire and you see what works. 'Oh, somebody's getting a little pissed.' [Laughs] It's fun and spicy, but it's nothing bad. Everyone is good people and we all have the same goal to make some good music.

Lzzy added: "We definitely dive in, like, 'Okay, who's got a riff? Who's got a line? Let's go.'"

Joe continued: "And I love him because he doesn't make demos, so we just start recording. 'Let's put the drums down.' And we're flying by the seat of our pants."

Lzzy said: "He literally wanted us to come in without a plan, which we're not used to. Usually, with every single release, it's, like, 'So, what do you wanna do? What's the vision? What's the idea?' Usually you start out with a vision and then the music tells you what do to half way through.

Joe stated: I was, like, 'Well, let me just work out this guitar part before we get there.' And he was, like, 'Why worry about that? You'll get it.' And it was, like, 'Oh yeah, we've got a new thing now. Time to learn again.'"

This past December, Lzzy told Jorge Botas of Portugal's Metal Global that she and her HALESTORM bandmates "went in with nothing" for their session with Cobb. "We had no songs, no ideas. We had some riffs and choruses, but it wasn't like we came in with these demos. And, to be honest, Dave Cobb didn't want that at all. We walked in and we were almost apologetic, like, 'I'm sorry, but we've been really busy, and I just have bits and pieces of things I think are special.' He was, like, 'Good. I don't want any demos. No plan, no nothing.' So were, like, 'What do you mean, no plan?' And it was amazing."

She continued: "We woke up every single day, we [worked] from 11 a.m. to 11 p. m. on average, every single day. [We'd] wake up, and I'm, like, at my desk and I'm figuring out lyrics from yesterday's demo, and then, 'Okay, but you know what? Scratch that. We're gonna work on a new song right now, and we'll go back to that.' So we were working on, like, four different things at once. We finished, what, like 12 songs in three weeks. So that's the magic of it all, was that we rediscovered how we as a band individually, uniquely operate and we thrive in that chaos."

Lzzy added: "As soon as you start thinking, like, 'Okay, this is the concept, these are the songs, this is what we go in, this is what we do,' it just becomes like an office job and there's no room to create, whereas this is totally not like that. You go in and you're, like, 'Wow. Anything is possible and anything could happen.' And then, as you are writing it and finishing it, you are recording it for real."

Added Joe: "It was cool. We didn't go in with anything but the shirt on our back, except that the shirt is, like, 20 years of being a band."

Continued Lzzy: "Obviously, you go in there with experience. We could have never done that 20 years ago."

Asked by Botas if the songs that were written in that chaotic environment ended up being heavier somehow because of the way they were put together, Joe said: "Yeah, a lot of them got like really weirdly heavy in a cool way. I don't know. It's not necessarily the record. That's what we did in those few weeks. And they're not all keepers, but they're great and they're good fun, and it's a reflection of where we were musically at that time."

Added Lzzy: "Yeah, and I think that comes from, even if it got darker or more intimate, especially I guess, on my end, and lyric-wise… It's a weird balancing act between, 'Okay, I'm comfortable with all of you guys enough to spill my guts because you've seen me at my worst, you've seen me at my best,' so having that experience with people that you trust, it bleeds itself into the music 'cause you're not holding anything back. But at the same time, I didn't have time to overthink either. It's, like, 'Okay, hey, by the way, we're getting a surprise visit from you're a&R guy, and we still have six songs to sing.' And I'm, like, 'Oh my god.' So I finished six songs within a weekend. And so there's a beauty in taking the too much thinking out of it too. So therefore, the song has no choice but to just be what it is, whatever it is at the moment."

In October, HALESTORM bassist Josh Smith revealed to Metal Global that the band was working with Cobb.

"We went down to [Dave's] place and all lived together for three weeks, which is — we live together on tour all the time, yeah, but to be in a creative space, it was incredible," Josh said. "And the music that came out is undeniably HALESTORM. There's going to be a lot of fan favorites."

Describing HALESTORM's recording process with Cobb, Josh said: "What we're doing and how he wants to work, how he's capturing us is what we do on stage. For instance, we're not using a click track; there's no time keep. It's us doing it, and so there's a lot of movement to the music… It's so human."

He continued: "I think naturally when you're even talking, just from building tension to releasing it and how that happens, and sometimes from a verse maybe is building and the tempo feels like it's building, and then the chorus — well, at least on stage — naturally probably bumps up a few BPM [beats per minute] or slows down, depending. And even our transitions or Arejay's [Hale, HALESTORM drummer] fills will push or pull. It's very human."

When Botas noted that it's "always fun to work with new people and create new ideas when someone has a different view from the one you normally have," Smith said: "Yeah, for sure. I mean, that's what you hope for in working [with] a producer. It's this person you really have to vibe with that fits into this, in this case our little world. And that chemistry between a band is so unique to every group. And so for someone to fit in, that's a special trait to have. [It's] essentially [bringing in] a fifth member of the band that can extract the uniqueness of that band. It's big shoes to fill for a producer. And thankfully we've been lucky with it, with [previous HALESTORM producers] Nick and Jay [Joyce], and Howard [Benson] was great. But, yeah, starting with someone new and also someone who has had a very different approach from the previous one, it's really exciting. And he really is bringing out the best of us. So, yeah, it's really exciting to find someone who is so good at their craft… And he just wants to catch what everyone is excited about — lightning in a bottle. And we've been doing that. And we've caught a lot. I can't wait to go back. It's really fun. I can't wait to get back to writing new music."

Cobb has shared in nine Grammy wins, including four for "Best Americana Album" and three for "Best Country Album". He's also been named "Producer Of The Year" by the Country Music Awards, the Americana Music Association (twice) and the Music Row Awards, and has been a Grammy nominee in the category.

Also in October, Hale told TotalRock's "Hobo On The Radio" show about the progress of the songwriting sessions for the band's follow-up to 2022's "Back From The Dead" album: "We're always working on new music, but we've actually kind of started to buckle down and really kind of write with a purpose as to whatever we wanna kind of put out in the world next. It's kind of an exciting time because I feel like even since the last record, even beyond 'Back From The Dead', I feel like we're kind of shedding our skin in a way that's kind of beautiful where we all kind of feel like different people than who we were when we were writing the last record. So it's time for whatever that next chapter is. So it's very exciting."

She continued: "I've been writing in a lot of subjects that I haven't necessarily touched on before and been kind of exploring those things. And I've become even more of a serial eavesdropper. I will be sitting at a pub or something and I will kind of zone out, and it's amazing the conversations you hear other people talking about. And so sometimes those leech their way into the songs."

Lzzy and her brother Arejay (drums) formed HALESTORM in 1998 while in middle school. Hottinger joined the group in 2003, followed by Smith in 2004.

Last May, HALESTORM teamed up with country singer Ashley McBryde for a reimagined version of the band's song "Terrible Things", which was originally featured on "Back From The Dead".

In December 2022, HALESTORM released a deluxe edition of "Back From The Dead". "Back From The Dead: Deluxe Edition" includes seven previously unreleased B-sides, including "Mine", a 1980s-inspired rocker. "Back From The Dead: Deluxe Edition" is available digitally, on CD, and cassette tape, marking the first time that the album has been offered in those physical formats.

[eyes-talks-ocs]

Tagged by @winterandwords !!!

Thank you for the tag. (And people please go check them out, since I created my writing blog I feel like I've been the lost shy puppy following them around haha. I love their blog so much 🖤)

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FIVE THINGS I NEVER TIRE OF WRITING!

Rules: list five things you never get tired of writing. It can be anything, tropes, character situations, themes - whatever brings you joy.

(let me know all of your secret self indulgence, haha).

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No.1: Contradictions.

My favorite characters I have, are nothing but a bucket of contradictions. Macaw, he's the brute with a nasty reputation and a sour attitude that will put you in the ground for looking at him wrong. But - he's gentle. He'll go out of his way to help or comfort random strangers or be a listening ear for someone. Just don't preemptently judge him before he speaks or initiates an interaction. That will determine how he treats you. Lucan, my DnD child. A genuinely kind and friendly guy who wants nothing more than to make the people around him happy. He's carefree and always in good spirits - yeah he's deeply traumatized with anxiety and guilt chewing at him in every silent moment he has. Before running into the current party he's traveling with, he was an honored member of a cult and by his hands, countless people were sacrificed to his gods. In any moment it's called for, he has no problem being brutal and unusually cruel to the point he scares himself by his own actions because he enjoys letting his frustration out a little too much.

No.2: I'll bring you down with me *insert crazy eyes*

Also a trait both Macaw and Lucan share. Just. A complete stupid disregard for their own life? I don't know what to call it. Both of them so jaded with their own actions of the past that it's led to both of them being reckless with no self preservation left to care. Will sink a ship with them on it just to make a point. Will burn a building to the ground with them in it just to watch their enemies burn with them. Fuck around, find out because I am no longer afraid of death and some days I welcome it. Definitely - hurt me so I can feel alive or else I'll do it myself.

No. 3: Symbolism, Symbolism, Symbolism.

Uff. Especially animal symbolism. But everything from the landscape to phrases, to little Easter eggs for myself when I go back through to reread things. It won't bother me if no one else picks up on them. I know they're there and what they mean. My mind works in weird ways and makes strange connections between things and you bet your sweet bippy it's littered throughout all the writing and art I create.

No. 4: Tragic Backstory.

I think that's enough said. I just. It just happens. I create characters just so I can hurt them I guess. Even the ones I make that WEREN'T supposed to be tragic somehow get a little bit of traumatic spice thrown in there. I mean. Look at Lucan. My goal wasn't to have a sad backstory player character. But a happy go lucky adventurer. Well after rolling stats and all that fun stuff I made a backstory that would fit his stats and abilities. Somehow that led to being a cult runaway? Now as the campaign has progressed more and more dark details have been added to his backstory to incorporate and fit into the DM's main storyline. But hey at least he's still a ball of sunshine to be around! (And my DM loves my character's story and every opportunity he gets, he goes ahead and throws a curve ball just to emotionally hurt my character too haha. Like the last one was a small fight with a Kenku and he used my DEAD FATHER'S VOICE to taunt me. Fuck that was something I wasn't expecting the DM to pull. I loved it.)

No. 5: EVERYONE IS BI.

Self projection. I know. I gotta keep reminding myself that not everybody is attracted to everybody. Ha. But reasoning for why basically all my characters are when I try to justify it ranges from: "This is DnD, how could anyone possibly be just straight?" to the dramatic "he's never been treated with compassion or has felt a soft loving touch. He'll bond with anyone who's willing to give him that." and everything in between.

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This tag is open to whoever wants to do it!!

[iatrophilosophos]

How do people just sleep. Like not get out of bed past your alarm or fall asleep during the day or whatever. How are people out here like "I cannot actually function without this basic need being met to a certain threshold so I'm going to meet that threshold"

Like. I've walked past all of the "hey, fucking, stop, eat, sleep, don't do the thing that's making you panic" alarms until I started having seizures about it and now I just have like. Absolutely no idea how to chose when to do something I don't want to and when it's gonna be a Bad Idea. Like I can more or less feel it when I'm coming up on the Total Shutdown threshold but summer experiences suggest if I push against that bar all the time it gets lower...AND ALSO I have genuine tendencies towards inaction that I don't like and aren't helpful to my self regulation either, writing off every bad day as "well I guess I just CANT" is not liberating to me because that day becomes several days, I don't eat, I don't exercise, I start chainsmoking and drinking 24/7 cuz I'm bored, and then I basically don't get out of it until I'm so miserable it flips to mania unless I have really serious irl support like people feeding me or at the very least someone around doing body doubling stuff

I feel like some answer to this is "maybe you just need a carer" but I'm gonna fucking ignore that one bc that's not a feasible relationship dynamic for me in the world I live in and I'd rather get fucked up sick myself than put myself and someone else in the kind of situations that I see caretaker relationships playing out in in my circles; like I've seen exactly zero good models for this shit. Probably I do need better skills for asking for help tho, I just don't actually know whst I need help with that's achievable. I'm tryina get a service dog in the next year or so but that's a Big project and I need like, several financial stability things to happen first--not like, normie levels of sinking thousands and thousands of dollars but I need to get thru some basic needs and then be doing slightly better on monthly bills than I am now to add a dependent while staying here and not having to go travel.

I mean generally the move right now is to just do my best with what I've got and just expect things to fluctuate a lot for the next several months, it's what I've been doing and it's helping and im making progress on all these questions and I think I'm doing an okay job at supporting my friends. I just don't want where I'm at capacity wise to be long term and I want to have better tools to roll with the fluctuations, even tho it's not ever gonna be sure or perfect I at least want to have a less terrifying time and feel less like I'm just reacting to emergency levels of Sick every time. Probably a lot of that is just emotional work but I still majorly lack skills relating to using material disability management tools and I would like more of those and more access to the couple tools that actually are more intuitive to me.

[hiding-from-hybe]

How to get a man in 30 days | PJM

✨Summary - Noelle Hartman enlists the help of a handsome, sexy, date doctor, Park Jimin..

Usually the type to help men on their romantic endeavours to get the women of their dreams and desires, he's confused but intrigued when she asks him for dating advice.

(✿ ◕ 3◕)つ・*。

Pairing: Jimin x oc

Genre: 🔞, eventual smut, dating!au,

Warnings: Swearing, smut, peer-pressure, negative self body image.

Notes: locations may vary as fictional/non-fictional as I am not native to any locations in this book but did research as much as I could to make it as authentic as possible.

Words: In progress

Perfect.. Noelle Hartman's life was seemingly perfect, from her perfect job as a travel agent, to her perfectly handsome and loving boyfriend...if only he was real.

When out mingling at a party she had no right to be at in New York, she met three of the most stylish and fabulous people she'd ever seen.

Her English accent was what had them intrigued but when asked about her dating life, she mentioned she was single, everyone turned their noses up at her so she laughed obnoxiously and said that she was joking.

Noelle had been too busy with her head in the clouds to date so she had conjured up a fantasy boyfriend, plucked out of the deep depths of fiction.

Her Sir Lancelot. Her knight in shining armour.

Her new friends Prudence, Jaq and Toni with an 'I' always told her how jealous they were of how her boyfriend spoiled her with gifts and flowers every time they met up, yes she felt guilty every time she lied to them, but this way no one bothered her about being a quote 'single lonely saddo in her late twenties' end quoteD and the better she felt about herself as they praised her.

They didn't meet up much, just for brunches here and there but whenever they did, she would take a package or wear a new expensive necklace to show them, of course whatever lavishly expensive item she purchased would always immediately go back the next day.

Due to her job she got to travel the world with discounts and benefits. An annual familiarisation trip on the dime of the company was a great way to upkeep her image and Instagram in front of her new friends.

She knew it was ridiculous, but she couldn't stop now, not when everything in her life was 'perfect'

Before brunch she dabbed her wrists with a dior sampler that had seen better days and rolled the depths of her collarbones with a smidgen of men's cologne to keep up the pretence that her neck was his favourite place to kiss when she didn't want to ruin her lipstick, which was her staple look, Yves saint laurent 59 Melon.

Using samples was a way to cut costs on the designer clothes had to purchase to keep up the speed with her new fashionista friends, she adopted a lounged style, never the one to look bold or chic but the brand name was enough for her friends not to bat an eye and they label it her personal preference on clothes. She always kept a low profile but in the end she was running out of ways to wear them, to look different, so much so Prudence had told her that the sweatshirt she was wearing was so last season.

"You know me, I don't like to throw clothes away, even though my closet is bursting at the seams" She lied, all she had left was a white shirt, a black Dior pinafore and a black beret she was saving for the next time they went to brunch.

"I wonder what Sir Lancelot has put in the bag this time?" She eyed the parcel in your rather well made fake handbag.

"Dibs if there's chocolates" Yelled Toni.

"He doesn't gift to me everyday, this is probably the sunglasses I ordered" Noelle smiles under the facade of lies, while looking in the chic little bag not big enough for much and faux gasps at a little box containing the keys for an apartment with the words soon written on the key chain. "It's just a set of keys to his apartment"

"Ellie he's so sweet, I bet he wants you to move in" Jaq smiles weakly, lifting her tea cup to her lips.

"He'll probably pop the question when you go over there tonight" says Toni showing off her new engagement ring and Noelle throws the chocolates that she had boxed up knowingly inside at her. "Truffles.. nice"

"I still don't see why you won't tell us who he is Ellie" Prudence pouts but then a grin paints her Rococotte lips "Is he married?" She leans in further "Or is he royalty?" She whispers and Noelle shakes her head.

"No, he's just the private type" She excuses.

"Penthouse, plane chartering, private?" Prudence lifts her well defined brow and Noelle just shrugs. "Oh come on Ellie, tell us"

"You're not getting anything out of me but if you need to know something, we're off to the new Baha Mar resort next week in the Bahamas" Technically it was not a lie but she was being sent for work, testing out the place, it was the best work perk she could ask for.

"How romantic, he's totally going to ask you to marry him" Toni mumbles through a mouth full of chocolates.

"My parents haven't even met him yet" Hell, she hadn't even met him yet. "But I'm sure it won't be long until I take him back home to London"

London was once her home but the Royal borough her friends expected was not the type of home life she grew up in, she was raised in a quaint neighbourly cul-de-sac in Salt Hill drive, Slough. She could still remember the way the west runway of Heathrow airport would open, acting as her alarm clock every morning before school, airplanes coming back and forth from various destinations, it made her want to see the world.

Though it was her dream to be a flight attendant, neither her height nor weight made her application considerable but at least she was seeing some of the world, mostly through the eyes of others whilst they booked their all inclusive resorts, bachelor and bachelorette weekends and around worldwide trips through the travel agency she worked at now in Williamsburg, NY.

It was exhausting pretending to be perfect but it was her life, day to day she was cardigan wearing, glasses bridge pushing Noelle, but to her new friends she was Ellie, a designer wearing, frappé drinking bestie.

"That means you're not going to make it to my engagement party?" Toni moped, but Noelle knew it, it was all part of her plan, she couldn't afford the gift nor a dress to attend anyway so being jet set off to a romantic destination with a romantic fake hubby was a great way to bow out gracefully.

"I'm really sorry Toni" Noelle gave her a genuine pout, she wished she could go and be the person they believed she was, but at the end of the day, she wasn't.

She was a fraud.

~

Another day, another dollar... Noelle sat up from being pulled away from her blissful sleep to turn off her alarm screaming at her from the side table next to her bed and she couldn't wait for the week to be over already.

Her home was an average one bedroom apartment, the rent was as decent as you could find and what she doesn't spend on lavishness and luxury she pays in rent and utilities, skipping breakfast had become the norm, the less groceries she had to buy the more she could save for her lifestyle.

With her brown hair in a low bun, Noelle wore her drab little work cardigan and her glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose, she felt like a tiny speck in the big wide world, that she wasn't anyone special when she looked in the mirror. Everyday was the same, only when she was Ellie was she happy to be seen.

Sat in her office cubicle on the phone to a client Noelle can't help but daydream about leaving to jet off to the Bahamas, she had already packed a few things she just needed to get through this week of work and she'd be sunning herself and taking pictures for her latest Instagram posts for her friends to gush over. Everyone lies about how good their lives are online, right?

One thing she had to remember was to pack a mens sized pair of sandals, she couldn't go anywhere without her makeshift man's accessories to make it look like she was being accompanied by her knight.

She would pose for a few pictures that would apply to two people of course to keep up the illusion, but mostly her pictures were just of the room and views from the hotel and destination, and her friends would be none the wiser that she was venturing alone.

"Hello, are you still there?" A voice on the end of the line woke her from her daydreams of sun, sea and Instagram likes.

"Erm yes ma'am, that's all booked for you, I will compile all that together and you shall receive a confirmation email from us, thank you for booking with New tour travel agency and have a nice day"

Noelle hung up the phone and blew out a breath, it was her lunch hour so she decided to flip through the new Vogue issue that had just been released as she trailed from the news vendor and through the streets on her way to get a bagel from her favourite deli.

The deli was always busy at lunch so she stood waiting to be served and in front of her was a tall broad man. She daydreamed about how he would turn around and he would be a handsome Adonis that would sweep her up into his arms and kiss her deeply in front of everyone.

"NEXT!" Booms Giovanni, the owner as he works the Deli counter, fifty years in the business and still works his ass off every day with his two sons. "Noella Bella" He greets "What can I get for you today?" He smiles at her but as she goes to order she looks upon the bikini body on the front page of her magazine, Noelle felt insecure about the two piece she packed, so instead of a beautiful, tasty bagel with cream cheese, she walked out to across the street where she begrudgingly spent $15 on a sad looking desk salad and trailed back to her work office to eat alone.

Even though Noelle loved her job searching for new places for people to vacation, the rest of the day was a gruelling few hours of getting side-eyed by her work colleagues since they weren't picked to check out the new Baha Mar resort, it had been the talk of the office since the opportunity had come up, but she had proved to her boss that she deserved it with high sales and incentives.

None of her work colleagues knew about her Instagram account; it was her secret because she knew they would probably snub her more. The profile picture was of generic sunbathing legs in a hammock, a holiday snap from last year, and Noelle wore sunglasses and a hat for set up and timed selfies.

Noelle had received rude, misogynistic DMs from when she would post pictures of herself before but she wasn't going to find her knight in shining armour in her Instagram inbox asking her to show them more of her skin anyway, so she just ignored them, deleted them without reading and eventually closed them.

Going home with her earphones in, Noelle listened to a pretty song from a daily recommendations playlist as she watched the busy streets pass her by, with a soulful voice and a harmony to match she thought that the track was just simply exquisite and she would definitely add it to her favourites.

Home is where the heart is, exactly where her bed is to be precise as her keys jangle in her hand and then thump on the kitchen counter she couldn't wait to toss her ass back into bed and look for some online sales that she probably.. in reality, shouldn't.

Her pay check was going to afford her some luxury she needed for her trip since she wouldn't need money as long as she stayed within the resort and sub-renting out her apartment for the week would give her an extra bit of cash to come home to.

Expensive. Expensive. Expensive.

To shop within her means was harder than she thought it would be, clearance sales didn't accept returns either, she would have to pay retail price now to send it back later.

Sure she could stroll through the markets strewn around the city and pick up a copy or two, but the more authentic her purchases were the less she had to prove to her friends, as not all knock offs were good knock offs.

Little essentials she could get away with, a pair of earrings were easy to fake but she knew her friends would surely notice if her outfit wasn't in any recollectable collection, she had to be careful.

Early to bed, early to rise.

Noelle had woken before her alarm clock, with a thundering in her stomach, she had fallen asleep forgoing dinner being outbid by vintagewhore_98 for A pre loved black, golden shoulder buttoned Chanel sweater, the owner must not have known what they had for selling it at such a bargain price but Noelle didn't have it either after getting out bid by $50.

"Goddamit" She cusses and shuts her laptop and rolled out of bed to find sustenance for her roaring monster of a stomach.

It's exactly 11 steps and a shuffle into the fridge and it's exactly how she expected it to be. Sad and empty. Figures. She'd have to go grocery shopping after work, there was no time now so after a pathetic attempt at breakfast, a piece of toast from the end of a loaf of bread and the last scrapings from the foil of her stick of butter, she made do.

Her mood was low and shopping for food was never as exciting as shopping for clothes especially on the budget Noelle had set for herself, low priced tins and no fresh produce wasn't the best diet but her work lunch salads were at least two of her supposed five-a-day... maybe.

Thinking about her shopping list on the way to work she was going to grab a bunch of bananas to keep her sweet tooth at bay, until she suddenly remembered there was a smidgen of Nukota sticking to the side of a jar in the cupboard..

Nukota, the more affordable hazelnut flavoured chocolate spread than the overpriced original brand. Same thing, just a fraction of the price. Just a few more days and she would be eating whatever she wanted for free, sunning herself by the resort beach and sipping cocktails in the Bahamas to get away from all the pressure, all the lies. Except from a picture or two for her Instagram page.

In her cardigan and glasses she felt like everyone was staring at her as she walked to her little cubicle, a tut from Veronica Heller, (her manager) was unprovoked and Noelle knew she was just jealous like everyone else that their boss saw no potential in anyone in the office other than Noelle herself.

Daydreaming about licking the jar of chocolate edges in her sparse cupboard got Noelle through the morning of two destination wedding bookings, and a few romantic 'holiday for two' getaway packages.

Another lunch brings another miserable looking salad staring at her in the face, she hoped it would magically taste like a burger when she took a forkful and placed it into her mouth.. but no such luck and an untasteful grimace It definitely tasted exactly like a salad. The only saving grace was a coffee to wash it down with.

The afternoon was also mostly uneventful, Noelle sits in front of her computer and rubs her eyes between calls. The week was dragging, for a second she though she may not make it to the end when a migraine sets itself across her forehead, radiating between her brows.

"Got to stay alive.. for the Bahamas, for the Bahamas, for the Bahamas" she repeats to herself, clicking the shutdown button as she drags her ass off her computer chair after hours of screen time to the off-brand grocery store.

The darkness comes early in the evenings as does the bitter autumn chill as Noelle wraps her cardigan closer as she paces the store after gathering a basket. The air conditioning is on and it's absolutely glacial in the fridge section where Noelle picks up a bananas, a cucumber, some celery, peppers and a jar of hummus.

Trying to lose weight through the temptations that surrounded her was hard but a teaspoon of honey usually set her right and power through, so a jar of that was added into the basket too but she definitely had to get her pop tarts, sugary sweetness.. her cheat day dinner or generally for a rather special kind of shitty day.

Perusing the reduced items for something she could eat today Noelle felt off, the lights that dangled above her were so bright it made her eyes squint, so much so she couldn't read the yellow priced down stickers on the packets, her peripheral vision was dim and she began to see spots.

It wasn't long before her body felt fuzzy, a static buzzing all over her body and hearing a voice in her ears, a loud voice but she can't really feel much of anything until her vision dispels its grey haze to a man looking down upon her.

"Ma'am open your eyes, Can you hear me?" Noelle is kind of awestruck at the Handsome man- who she realises is on his knees and has her in his arms.

"What happened?" She mutters to him.

"My name is Dr Benson, you fainted, I'm going to ask you some questions alright?" He talks slow, hoping your brain can catch what's coming out of his mouth.

"Ok?" You say but he's not sure he's happy with your tone, so he asks you to follow his fingers with your eyes, upon completing that he starts to question you.

"Hmm.. What's your name?" The handsome guy asks and Noelle is all tongues trying to string a sentence together.

"Noelle—erm Ellie.. it's Ellie"

"You don't sound so sure of your answer Ellie, are you sure you're feeling alright, Do you know what today is?"

"A really shitty one" She blurts and the Doctor laughs heartily.

"Don't say that, it's my birthday, but do you know what the date is?"

"Why would I know when your birthday is...?" Noelle is confused why would she know the date .."Oh today's date..! Sorry it's been a very long day" She sighs.

"You still haven't answered my question..."

"My name is Noelle Hartman, today is Tuesday the 25th, I'm single and I'm a Virgo" She laughs in jest "Am I in the clear to go Doc?" Noelle bats her eyelashes and Dr Benson is a little taken aback but helps her stand up.

"Well you didn't hit your head so I think you're okay, possibly a little dehydrated, here" He passes her a bottle of water from a passing cart, which she's unsure to take considering it's classed as stealing but doctors orders she undoes the cap to take a sip. "Do you have anyone to pick you up? Boyfriend or—?" She wonders what a handsome doctor is doing in an off-brand grocery store but a passer by tells her she was lucky he was just walking nearby.

"Nope just little me" Noelle shakes her head.

"Then please let me drive you home" It doesn't take much convincing to get Noelle in the car, for all she knew he was a liar, a scoundrel but it seemed so silly in her mind for him to kidnap someone like her.

"How much do I owe you?," Noelle says as he parks within her apartment's view "I think technically this was a house call" They both get out and slowly walk to the main door.

"Technically I'm off duty but how about just a cup of coffee sometime?" Dr Benson holds out his hand for Noelle to shake and she takes it, walking up to the foyer door she turns back but almost slips "Take care of yourself now, Otherwise I might have to carry you up myself"

"Thank you Lan—?" She's stumped, on pause for second realising she can't even remember his name after staring at his handsome face for too long, almost calling him Lancelot like a weirdo was embarrassing but maybe he would be into it but now was not the time to find out.

"Derek.. Dr Derek Benson" He replies and Noelle sheepishly walks into her apartment with a nod and as she stepped inside wailed like a banshee. Was this it? Was he the one? Noelle jumped around her apartment until she realised.

"Fuck! I didn't get his number" Noelle whines, and to her dismay she also realised her day had gone from bad to worse. "No! I didn't get my fucking pop tarts"

[everafterkeiji]

𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐓. 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐔 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒

PAIRINGS: Haikyuu boys x fem! reader

GENRE: angst, pining, teasing, spicy level at 1?

A/N: i am hooked, captivated, jealous, and many more emotions🤨 this was honestly a little random but no complaints

⟡𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐔's offhanded comments on an essay he didn't participate in was a bloodbath waiting to happen. Though you understood that he was in a tight schedule regarding practice and matches was a tough schedule to keep up with, the expression on his face when he sees the score ignites the rage that was kept tight when you stayed up just to pinch in to replace their mistakes and their unwillingness to cooperate that had you pulled out of calmness.

"Wipe that shit expression off of you, Miya. Maybe if you were there we could've done better but no." You huffed, while there's a chuckle from the blonde as he takes the paper from your hands, a punch to your efforts, while he waves it around before towering over you with eyes glancing to your lips before it goes straight to your eyes before he spoke,

"If you wanted the best, then I'm all yours to take."

⟡𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀 would go overboard majority of their practice so at those moments—you never know what to do seeing that you weren't on good terms anyway. He'd be too focused and frustrated to be communicated with while Hinata's drive to progress himself always mixes with the setters competitiveness then it leads to late practices making you stay until they finally leave.

"You two— c'mon I have to lock up. Get going already." Hinata smiles at you softly sharing his intents to stay a little longer while you shook your head. He gave out a defeated sigh while you walked to the storage room to make sure everything was placed to where it was but when you expected silence, it never came. The sound of heavy impacting echoes through the gym while you rolled your eyes to walk out and see the setter all alone.

"Kageyama, go home." You were down to the remaining ounce of energy you had left. You could only roll your eyes as you held the ball he was meant to hold as he blinks at you.

"I'm not gonna say it again. Let's go home already." He turns the other way around whispering, "Just one more." making you hold onto his wrist as he turns to you surprised but held a glare in secret. "Stop being so stubborn." Kageyama scoffs before holding onto your hand on his wrist, a slight tug while you leaned forward because of his actions.

"And stop trying to make me go home with you." You pushed him slightly with raised eyebrows, a fluster in your cheeks as you tried to pull away.

"Idiot- that's not what I mean!" You argued while his hand remained on yours as you both stared each other down. "It's not like I meant it that way either." Tobio said before letting go of your arm, walking away with his own heated cheeks while grabbing his bag and ending the day with one more glance to you.

"I'm going now, if you're going to come with me—then I'll see which of the choices you did mean."

⟡ 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔 doesn't like the way your personality mirrored his twin. A duplicate of another duplicate. He saw how well you and the blonde had bonded and brought a migraine to his head, realizing that the annoyance he gets from his twin has doubled when it came to you but he does deny that there's an ounce of envy seeing that you were never that close to him and always favored Atsumu.

And now that you were in their residence, the laughter from you and the setter ticks him off as if he was a thirdwheeler in every situation—god, even in their house.

"Oi, do you mind? I think my controller is in Samu's room can you get it for me?" Atsumu asks while you shrugged before knocking over to Osamu's door. You figured that he didn't like you as much and you kept your distance but at times, you can definitely feel that the distance that had grown to a state that even you were confused in how it got that far.

You casually enter in, glancing at Osamu who was only busy on his phone but shares a stare to you when you wander around.

"What're ye looking for?" He asks, while you responded saying it was the controller. He stands up with a groan, noticing how messy the other side of the room was as you began to pick up a few shirts while Osamu cocks an eyebrow.

"Ain't no touching that, I'll clean it myself." He suggests but you continued nonetheless thinking that this may reduce whatever tension was there. Right at the moment where you reached for the jersey at the stairs of their bunk bed, Osamu had grabbed your wrist making you wide eyed before looking at him.

"I said I can do it." He says in which you followed with, "I just wanted to help you and Tsumu." He rolls his eyes but the proximity of you two is alarming especially when his hand was still wrapped around yours.

"Atsumu this, Atsumu that—can't you worry about me?" He jokes at first but there's warmth to your cheeks alike to his own, but he leans forward, a smirk to his lips. "Only you?" You asked before he spoke again,

"Only me and no one else, doll."

⟡𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐒𝐀's bad start during mornings never get along with your rants along with Iwaizumi to help maintain the health of MSBY. Whenever Iwaizumi would be off to observe a different team, you'd be the subsitute. All of the things he's said to them—you'll be there to remind them all over again. In which repetitiveness irks him knowing they've been told before.

"We've been through the same routine. Today's not any special." Kiyoomi suggests, though you get how irritating it can be to act like a broken record—you knew Iwaizumi would do the same thing you were doing.

"And if we go through it like every other day, then we'll finish fast." You argued as Atsumu sends you a chuckle before leaning on his teammate.

"Not with all that yapping." Sakusa whispers making you scoff while Hinata and Bokuto share a worried glance.

"You've got something to say to me, Kiyoomi?" You asked, edging him on because you weren't entirely at fault. You were strictly just following Iwaizumi's orders.

The MSBY player then takes a few steps forward before lowering his mask and with a threat of a stare to look down on you.

"Why don't we stop talking and I'll show you a better routine?"

Atsumu rolls his eyes but rather entertained at the vanter unfolding in front of the entire team.

"Like you'll ever find a way to shut me up." You bragged but there's a chuckle from him before he leans forward—a close vicinity where his lips linger on your ears as a cold voice welcomes you.

"I'd like to see you try and stop me then."

⟡𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀 is the person that throws distanced glares when it came to you. Ever since the aggravating Atsumu teased you two as a perfect couple that he quickly declined followed by an unnecessary sentence saying you were impossible to date. You understood that you were never friends to even label it but since you were with the twins, you and Rintaro never hit it off the way you did with the Miyas'.

So even as you sat a few seats away from at the local bus, it irks you that this banter goes on even outside school. Looking away, there's a hand to your waist making you glare instantly at the man beside you while he only gives an appalling glance to your attire that made your blood boil as you struggled to move away from him.

"Get the fuck off me." You ordered him but he acts nonchalant. The moment you were about to raise a hand to show some defense, another hand travels to your waist while the previous hand around you was removed.

Gasping you turned to Suna who radiated a heated energy while the man scoffs knowing it was a facade to act like you were together.

"Hey now—if you don't believe she's my girl, then why don't you watch?" Rintaro threats as his lips lingered around your neck while you stood frozen. The destructive and taunting stare he gave to the man caused the bastard to move away not long before Suna had the chance to push him to the other side, cocking a smirk while he pulls you to his body.

"Thank you." You said, while he only shrugs in response, still cautious of the jealousy that lingers the mans eye.

"Seems like you'll be mine for the rest of the night."

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Queen of Diamonds (Chapter 5): Kisaki Tetta x Fem!Reader

created by: @sirthisisa-wendys and @thehypestdeano

synopsis: Does Tetta really love you? Or is all of your marriage just one big lie? You need answers and fast.

wc: 1.6k

tw: suggestiveness at the end

previous chapter 👑 masterlist 👑 next chapter

song recommendation:

A slow retreat is how the next two weeks play out.

You slowly retreat from asking Tetta for things, slowly retreat from spending the money he deposits in your bank account, and slowly retreat from the idea that he would ever love you.

Why would he ever love someone he would hardly touch?

He must be disgusted by me, you think sourly to yourself as Saito begins to undress in front of you. His green eyes travel over your frame greedily, and for a second, you feel a wistfulness for Kisaki to look at you like this in private.

If only Tetta would touch me like Saito does...

And for the first time, you close your eyes while Saito fucks you, imagining it's Tetta instead of this man you picked up because you were bored and sexually frustrated with your husband.

You don't even really like him as a person, now that you think about it. Saito is hardly a man you would consider running off with, not when you have Tetta.

Tetta, Tetta...

Even as you're being kissed and touched, all you can think about is your husband. The way Tetta pushes his glasses up and then makes sure his hair is pushed back, the way he opens the door after coming home from a long day of work, the way his fingers dance along the back of your neck when you're cuddling...

And when Saito finishes his thrusting and panting and sweating all over you, you roll off of him and sit up in the hotel bed.

You need to end this and demand Tetta give you what you want.

The worst he could say was "no, I'm too busy" and you'd be right back where you started.

But if you don't ask, he'll never be able to give you what you want.

"Are you alright?" Saito breathes, and you know what's coming next. You know what Saito is about to say because he's been saying it for days. "You always seem upset when you leave."

"It's nothing," you murmur, pushing your hair back.

"You're so unhappy. Why do you keep going back to him, y/n?"

Because I want him, you want to snap, but Saito wouldn't understand. To him, you can't love someone who shares you with others, and that person doesn't really love you if they share you.

Saito thinks you're being manipulated and that it's foolish for you to want to still be with Kisaki, even if he could buy you the world. When you don't answer as you get dressed, Saito grunts once then disappears into the bathroom.

And you leave him there without a goodbye, forehead pressed against the cool windowpane of the car as you're escorted back home.

_____________________________________________________________

Another anniversary, another dinner at a fancy restaurant.

It feels like nothing has changed. Except for you and your feelings.

"To us," Tetta whispers, and you clink your glass with him before taking a long sip of the red wine offered to you from the cellar of the restaurant. "And our happy marriage."

The setting is lit with a few candelabras and one pale dome light above you, making the room seem more romantic than it felt. And in hindsight, you couldn't help the look on your face.

You'd been thinking about how to tell your husband what you felt for hours, but every time you opened your mouth, nothing ever came out the way you wanted it to.

"The food isn't good, is it?" Tetta wonders, placing his fork back down on his plate. You hadn't even touched the beautiful quail on your dish, and quail is your favorite delicacy. It's why Tetta chose this restaurant in the first place. He picks up his napkin and wipes his face quickly. "I'll have them come take it--"

Your cry starts out as tears coursing down your cheeks, then slowly progresses into soft weeping and sniffing. And you're trying so hard to keep your eyes dry, but there's nothing you can do to quell your sorrow. Your husband's mouth pops open and he inhales shakily, but when your lips part so you can speak, he closes his.

"I'm... sorry..." you hiccup. "I'm not t-trying to ruin our anniversary."

"Y/n," he murmurs but doesn't inch any closer to you. "Tell me what's bothering you." You shake your head, all at once utterly ashamed that you're crying in the middle of a beautiful restaurant, but also devastated at your own emotions. "Is it the restaurant? We can always go to another one." You shake your head no, your mind working at a rapid pace to catch some coherent thoughts that you can string together to express your feelings.

"I... I'm not happy, Tetta." Through your tear-filled eyes, you can see your husband's face crumble. "I want... I want..."

There's a brief second between your words and his response, which is reaching out to grab your hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Anything you want you can have."

"I know," you laugh wryly. "But the thing I want the most is quality time with you. Time doing meaningful things, things that are memorable for the both of us."

"I can do that," Tetta replies, smoothing his thumb over your knuckles.

"I also want goodbye kisses," you begin, and once the words are out of your mouth, you feel foolish. "I want good morning and good night kisses, too."

"Done."

"I want you to be home for dinner by seven p.m. and I want to spend it with you, no excuses." Tetta nods, placing his glasses back on.

"Seven p.m., every night."

"And can I visit your work? I would love to bring you lunch from time to time." Your husband inhales deeply, quirking his lips as he thinks.

"No surprise visits," he mentions. "Things don't always go smoothly during the day, and I want you to be safe coming up to the offices."

"I'll call ahead every time."

"Then the answer is yes." He brings your hand up to his mouth and presses a long kiss to your ring finger. "Is there anything else I can do for you, my love?" For the first time in a long time, you actually giggle like a giddy schoolgirl.

"Can we go shopping with my parents tomorrow?" Tetta smiles widely, eyes brightening.

"Of course, we can."

_____________________________________________________________

"Oooh," your mother coos as you emerge from the dressing room, showing off the satin balloon sleeve dress. "Y/n, you look so fancy!"

"Mom," you pout slightly. "It's just a dress..."

"It was made for you." Your father smiles, and Tetta nods too, his eyes lighting up at the sight.

"Okay, this is the one, I suppose."

"Do you want to look for another one?" Tetta wonders, standing up from his seat and walking toward you. "There are so many in the store, I don't want you to settle." His hands come up to your hips and he presses a kiss to your jaw, whispering, "We could also get that slip mini-dress you wanted."

"My parents are right there," you hiss and your husband chuckles before pulling away.

"I just want you to be happy."

When you arrive back at home, arms laden with items purchased for you, Tetta chats with your parents (who got whatever they desired as well) while you make your way up the stairs, intending on taking a brief nap before dinner.

You lay across the bed and sigh, bags littered at your feet. But before you can close your eyes, Tetta enters, three bags in his own hands.

"You bought some stuff for you?" you wonder, sitting up eagerly.

"For you," he asserts, placing them next to you. "But I knew you wouldn't want to open these in front of your parents, so I waited."

Your fingers reach into one of the bags, and your hands brush against something incredibly soft. You pull out the very same silk slip you'd been eyeing, the slit in the side from the bottom of the minidress to the top of your panty line. You grin, shaking your head at Kisaki's antics.

"You bought it anyway," you murmur and he nods, making his way to his closet. You rifle through the other well-packed bags, finding a few undergarments and last, but not least, a small gold link bracelet that you'd "ooh'd" at when passing by the jewelry counter.

"Babe," you call out, and Kisaki reappears, his shirt unbuttoned and face curious. "This is beautiful. How did you--"

"You make these little noises when you like something a lot. I could tell by the way you eyed it that you liked it, but you weren't sure if you should buy it just to look at it." You look at the chain resting on your skin and Tetta reaches over to clasp it together.

"It's so beautiful..." You stand up and pull Kisaki closer, holding him flush against you as you lean forward slowly for a kiss. His eyes droop closed as your lips connect, and for the first time in a long time, you feel something rejoice inside of you. The feeling grows stronger as he kisses you and becomes less stiff, his hands roaming over your back and hips with reverence.

"Can you model that little silk slip, babe?" Tetta wonders breathily when you pull away. "I want to see those beautiful legs walking toward me."

And you do, using your massive walk-in closet as a sort of runway while Kisaki sits in the chair placed inside. He crooks a finger at you, and you walk toward him slowly, methodically, legs crossing one over the other before you swing one over his lap and straddle him.

"Like this, Mr. Kisaki?" you purr, running your index finger over his lips. The look in his eyes is the same look the others have given you, except you feel a jolt of intense pleasure at the sight of your husband foggy-minded while you rock on his clothed erection.

"Like that," he strains out, cupping your chin and pulling your face closer. "Just... like... that."

_____________________________________________________________

taglist: @hana-patata

[azaleavi]

Baby, show me what it's like - Y.B.

Summary: Dancing with a stranger at a party doesn’t seem like a bad idea. That is until it turns out she is the leader of a motorcycle club.

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, kissing, dancing with a stranger

Author’s note: I don’t really have anything to say lol please let me know what you think about this!

Feedback is always appreciated and don’t forget to reblog and like if you enjoyed it and want to see more. Thank you!

Masterlist

The music blasting in the small space shook your whole body as you walked through the crowd following your friends. They dragged you out to party because - in their words - you needed to find someone to take the stress out of your body. College has been hard on you in the last couple of weeks as you had exams after assignments. You were stressed at the time, but since everything has been done you felt fine.

But now you are here at a club that is overstuffed with people. You reach the bar where your friends are already waiting for you. They already ordered way too many shots for you and you feel your stomach turn at the thought of all the alcohol they will make you drink. You want to have fun so you grab the shot glass closest to you and drown it in one shot. They all cheer at your action so you raise the now empty glass to the air before slamming it down the countertop. Another full glass is shoved into your hands and you drink it without hesitation. The alcohol burns as it travels through your body, making you shiver and grimace. You are so going to regret this.

After a few minutes of drinking, they grab your hands and lead you to the dance floor. You roll your eyes as they find a space big enough for you all to fit. You feel the beat course through your body making your hips move. The music and the alcohol combined allow you to let loose. You raise your hands to the air above your head as you sway your hips to the beat.

A few songs come and go and you feel yourself get progressively more carefree and you feel a pair of eyes on your body. If you were sober you might find it creepy but right now you just love the attention. You circle your hips harder and more seductively, hoping that the person staring at you takes his chance. You drag your hands down your body as you lean your head back, baring your neck. Slowly spinning around you show them your full body from every angle, your heart beating rapidly. You have never done this before, but you find it exhilarating.

Biting your lip you close your eyes just as a pair of arms wrap around your waist. A smirk makes its way into your lips as you feel the stranger’s body flush against you. Your eyes are still closed and you don’t want to open them. You want to live in this moment without worrying about who is behind you. The hands splay on your stomach as you lean your head back onto his shoulder. The person behind you is around the same height as you, maybe a little taller. Perfect.

One of the hands leaves your front and it sweeps your hair away from your neck that is closer to his face. Your heart beats at the same time as a soft kiss is left on the skin of your neck. The other hand leads your hips along with his, your mouth opening in a silent moan. The kisses keep being placed on your neck and you turn your head to give him more space. They turn open-mouthed and it makes you grab his hands that are on your stomach. His lips travel up to under your ear and he nips at the skin there. Your hands squeeze his and you hear a low chuckle in your ear, his breath hitting the shell of your ear, making you shiver. You push out your behind to his front which makes his hands squeeze your hips. Two fingers tap on your jaw on the other side of your head and they push you to turn your head towards the person's face whom you still haven't seen.

Your eyes stay closed as you feel him lean over to your lips, but before they can press onto yours, you open your eyes. Your whole body freezes as you realize who is in front of you. A woman. You push her away frantically as you stumble backward, colliding with other people who are unaware of what's happening. You mumble out a sorry which you are sure they don't hear, but you don't care. You almost kissed a woman. And not just any woman. The stranger in front of you is Yelena Belova. The Yelena Belova. Everyone in the city knows her and avoids her as much as they can. She is the leader of the Widow Club. One of the most dangerous people in the area. They all carry guns around, ride motorcycles and wear as much leather as they can. Like she is doing now, as she has a black leather jacket on with leather pants and a simple white t-shirt. It's hot. No, you can't think like that. She is dangerous. And she is looking right at you now.

You gulp as she keeps staring with her eyebrows raised expectantly. She takes a step closer to you and you try to stand your ground on shaky legs. She raises her hand and your eyes warily follow all her movements. The music is still blasting around you, but your ears are ringing as she sweeps your hair out of your face. Your mouth opens slightly and her eyes move down to it from your eyes. You close it quickly when you notice where her attention has shifted.

"What's wrong darling?" her accent surprises you and your body doesn't move as she steps even closer. Her face is a few inches from yours and you can't think of anything else but how gorgeous she is "Hmm?" she makes you feel small even though she is only a few inches taller than you.

"I don't- I can't- I'm not-" you stumble over your words making her smile at your cuteness. You are adorable.

"What is it?" she tilts her head to the side. You know she is talking to you like a baby, but somehow you find yourself liking it.

"I like men" the words fall out of your lips messily and your eyes widen at your own confession. Will she be mad?

"Are you sure?" she squints at you, not quite believing your words. Maybe you don't know yet "Because it seemed to me that you enjoyed yourself a few seconds prior" her smile is kind, but you are having a hard time believing she is being sincere.

"I thought you were a man" you avert your eyes and instead look at the people around you.

"Okay" she swiftly steps back with her hands up in surrender. You look at her in confusion "I don't know how badly you think of me" she begins and you look down on the ground in shame "but I won't push you to do anything" she gives you a small smile and then she is out of your sight, the crowd swallowing her. She is gone just like that. You stand there in shock as you try to process what happened. You spoke to one of the most feared people in the city. What is more, you danced with her and almost kissed her. And it was hot. Wait, no. It wasn't. It's just the alcohol in your system that makes you think like this.

You shake your head to clear your head, but it doesn't help much. Looking around you find your friends a few feet away from you, clearly not knowing what just happened. You walk over to them and tell them that you don't feel too good and you want to go home. You say your goodbyes and leave the place to flag down a taxi to finally go home and spend a sleepless night tossing and turning in your bed with a certain woman on your mind.

-

A whole week passes by and you still haven't forgotten about your almost kiss with Yelena. It's been on your mind every day since it happened and you found yourself fantasizing about what would have happened if you didn't stop. It's been annoying you the whole time, but you refused to dwell on it for too long. Until now.

You can't think of anyone else but her, even when a man is right in front of you. You can't kiss anyone without her face being the one that pops up in your mind. You don't understand what she did to you, but something is not right and you know how you can make it go away. You just have to kiss her and you are good. You don't know what it would be like and that's why you can't think about it. That has to be it. It's the only explanation.

Thus you decided to go to the place normal people wouldn't think of going. The Widow Club's place.

As you reach the old building your stomach contracts, your heart beating rapidly. Sweat coats your palms as you walk through the gate and into the yard that stretches in front of the building. Every head turns to you which makes you stop in your tracks, your fake confidence faltering.

"What do you want?" one of the women shouts at you which makes you slightly vince. They all laugh at your reaction.

"I'm looking for Yelena Belova" you speak back loud enough for them to hear. The woman who spoke to you raises her eyebrows and stands up from where she was sitting fixing her bike. She opens her mouth to speak but a door to her right opens and out walks the woman you are looking for. You unconsciously straighten your spine as she looks you up and down and you see recognition in her eyes. She remembers you.

"Come in" she looks into your eyes and you quickly walk toward her. She lets you walk through the open door first and you find yourself in a small office. Shelves line the wall to your right and a table with two chairs on either side of it is in the middle of the room.

Turning around you find Yelena flipping someone off outside the room before turning to you and closing the door behind her.

"So what do you want?" she sits down on her chair and motions for you to do the same across the table. You follow her and sit down. You inhale deeply and the air leaves your lungs in a long sigh.

"What did you do to me?" you look into her striking eyes and you almost lose yourself in it.

"What?" she leans forward to rest her elbows on the table.

"What did you do to me?" you repeat yourself a little slower.

"No I understood what you said, I just don't know what you mean" she shakes her head with a small smile on her lips. The lips you couldn't stop thinking about the past week. You clear your throat and look away from her face.

"Why can't I stop thinking about you and our almost kiss?" you steel yourself as you let the words fall from your lips. Maybe she has the answer to the question that has been burning you. She stares at you for a few seconds without moving at all and you start to feel uncomfortable.

"Are you serious?" she bursts out laughing out of nowhere. She falls back into her chair and now it's your turn to stare at her. Her laugh. Oh god her laugh is the most wonderful sound you have ever heard. When she quiets down a little she stands up and walks around the table to your side. You lean back as she places her hands on either side of you on the chair. Your gulp is visible to her and she tilts her head to the side in wonder.

"Are you scared of me?" she looks into your wide eyes, her voice is soft.

"No" your answer is quick and it comes out without thinking. Without knowing you ease her worries with just that one word.

"Does your heart beat faster when I'm this close?" she leans in closer and you suck in a breath which answers enough for her "You said you keep thinking about me" she grabs your arms to pull you up into a standing position "Well, I keep thinking about you too" she guides you to lean your back against the table and you let her move you however she wants. Her words leave you speechless, your heart drumming against your ribs in anticipation. She places her hands on either side of you on the table, caging you in.

"What do you want me to do about it?" her face comes closer to yours, her eyes not leaving your lips, and all of your resolves disappear.

"Kiss me" these two words are all she needs before her lips crash into yours. Your arms wrap around her neck to pull her closer as her tongue swipes across your bottom lip and your mouth opens to give her access. She explores your mouth making both of you moan into the fervent kiss. You know she is experienced from the way she moves her lips against yours and it only makes you even more frustrated in the best way.

She pulls away from you after a few seconds, eliciting a groan from you. Your eyes stay closed as you relish the feeling of being kissed by her for the first time. She places her thumb on your lips which makes you open your eyes. Her orbs are full of emotions you can't quite grasp yet, but you want to learn all of them. You lean toward her, but stop before you could kiss her again. Your mind is a mess and you can only think about her and her soft lips right now.

"Again?" the cheeky smile on her face leaves you breathless and you can only nod in response. She lets out a small chuckle before pressing her lips to yours again. Your noses bump against each other as her hands grasp your waist. Your fingers tangle in her blonde hair as she shifts her body flush against yours. Her hands find the back of your thighs to help you sit up onto the desk, knocking over everything in your way. Pencils fall on the ground along with their holder amidst loud clangs, but neither of you cares. She stands between your open legs, her lips not leaving yours for a second. You feel her palms brush the skin of your thighs and your mind goes into a frenzy.

A knock sounds from the door and you immediately pull away from her startled by the sudden interruption. Leaning her forehead against your shoulder she groans which makes you giggle. Pressing one last kiss on your lips she walks to the door and opens it.

"This better be important" her voice is authoritative and you are glad she doesn't see you as you bite your lip and clench your thighs together. God, she is so hot.

"Sorry boss we just heard some loud noises and we wanted to check on you to see if you were okay" you can hear the voice of the woman who spoke to you before, now it's laced with a smile as if she can barely hold back from bursting out laughing. They must be close.

"Fuck off" Yelena scoffs at her and she finally lets out the laugh she has been holding back. She slams the door in the woman's face and she turns back to you while shaking her head with a smile on her face. You lean back onto your hands on the table and tilt your head to the side as you watch her mumble under her breath. You catch a few idiots and I should be more strict which makes you smile. Is this the big, feared leader of the Widow Club? People don't know the real her it seems.

Her eyes find yours and she just looks at you for a few seconds. She has stunning eyes. In a few long strides, she is in front of you again, her hands on your legs.

"So how was that pretty girl?" her nose brushes yours which makes a small whine escape the confines of your lips. You avert your eyes bashfully after the sound you make. You seem way too needy.

"Did you like it?" her thumb brushes your cheek and your heartbeat speeds up at the tender touch "Did it answer your question?"

"Yes" the word comes out breathy "to both of them" your answer makes her chuckle.

"And what is the answer?" she pushes you.

"I want more" you confess while closing your eyes. You are too scared to see her reaction and it seems too real now that you said it out loud. You've never thought of any woman like this before.

"More of what?" her thumb keeps stroking your cheek making it hard to think straight.

"You" you keep your eyes closed because you know you would get lost in her orbs if you freed yours.

"Me?" the surprise in her voice is unmistakable and it makes you open your eyes.

"Yes, you" you nod confidently "I want to get to know you" you decide to tell her how you feel, and the smile that lights up her face is worth embarrassing yourself. She slams her lips onto yours making you grab her arm so you don't fall backward. Her kiss is hurried as she pours all her emotions into it and you feel like the whole room is spinning around you.

Pulling away the adorable smile makes its way back to her face and you feel your insides turn into mush at how endearing she is.

"I can't wait to get to know you" you laugh as she holds out her hand for you to shake.

"Yelena Belova" she introduces herself and you tell her your name in return.

"I think we will have a lot of fun together" her smile turns cheeky and you feel your face heat up at the implication of her words.

You can't wait to learn everything about the person most people know by reputation and you are glad you get the opportunity to be close to her. Who needs men when you have a woman like this next to you?

[parkkrys]

The Blue Incident

Jaskier/Lambert snippet. Someone wanted more content for this ship, who am I if I don't provide? All grammar mistakes are my own and I hope you enjoy!

Also this is game canon Lambert and this is posted on AO3 which you can find here

-------------------------------------------------

No one around the keep expected for Jaskier and Lambert to get along. Words were always thrown at one another, insults and the levels of sass always at its highest. Vesemir only rolled his eyes at them, Eskel chuckling in amusement as Geralt questioned why he even brought the bard in the first place to the keep.  

Jaskier was a lil feral himself now after spending all these years traveling behind a witcher, watching people being murdered in front of him, seeing monsters in real life instead from stories. He may have lost his sanity but it added to his character, Jaskier always told them when they questioned him. 

Meeting Lambert was interesting in itself. Geralt had told him to be careful around him, not to speak of certain things. Jaskier was going to be on his best behaviour, afterall, he did promise his best friend. But all of that flew out the window within minutes of meeting the damn bastard. If Lambert was going to find ways to hurt him and get him angry, well Jaskier had every right to do the same. 

The first year they did not get along. The second year was a bit better, the third year they were actually friends. The fourth, was more like friends with benefits, the fifth lovers. 

Jaskier was quite proud of their progress really. Even if it meant doing things that Geralt scolded him for because the last thing Lambert needed was an enabler (Geralt’s words not his). 

“Hey pretty thing, have I got an idea for us,” Lambert said as he sat down at the breakfast table, interrupting his thoughts on their past. 

“Whatever it is, no,” Vesemir grunted and Jaskier only grinned. 

“Should have told me when we were in bed,” Jaskier pointed out and Lambert only rolled his eyes as he wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him into his lap. 

Lambert was a man that normally showed his affection through actions and when it was just them. The only time he showed it in front of others was normally when he was worried, or he was just being a little shit. Jaskier figured this must be the latter when he saw Geralt walk in, stop and only groan as he rolled his eyes. 

Jaskier would have to get the story of whatever happened out of them later. For now, he was just going to soak up the affection Lambert was giving him freely. 

“I was thinking of pulling something on Geralt later,” Lambert muttered into his ear as Geralt continued to groan as he sat down at the table. Jaskier only raised his brows and Lambert only grinned before he gave him a kiss. 

“You will be telling me the story before anything,” Jaskier only hummed and Lambert rolled his eyes but Jaskier knew he would. 

“Story about what?” Geralt grunted and Lambert only growled. 

“About how your white ass fell into the moat when we were younger,” The young wolf snarked and Geralt glared at him. 

“No you will not.” 

“You wanna bet?” 

“Boys, boys, boys, settle down the both of you. It’s far too early for this and afterall, Eskel already told me that story.” 

“He what!?” Geralt snarled before he was out of the room and Jaskier giggled as Lambert cackled. 

“Did he really tell you?” 

Jaskier only hummed as he picked up a piece of bread and gave Lambert a wink, more or less shoving the bread into his mouth while Vesemir only shook his head. Jaskier believed he heard Vesemir grumble something about young people these days before he left but he wasn’t sure. Lambert only grinned so Jaskier believed he was correct in his thinking. 

“What did Geralt do now to piss you off?” 

“We may have gotten into an argument about you,” Lambert only muttered before he buried his face into Jaskier’s neck and the bard frowned. 

“Whatever for?” 

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to travel with me this summer,” Jaskier perked up, he had always hoped but normally every year Lambert would never ask and it always made him a little bit disappointed every summer when he would leave with Geralt instead of Lambert, “And he said no, I would never be able to take care of you.” 

“What? But you do?” 

“He thinks I’m too selfish to take care of you.” 

Jaskier huffed as he wrapped his arms tighter around his witcher. He understood Geralt was looking out for him, but this was cruel. Lambert had a temper. Yes, he could be reckless at times but he always cared for him. He always made sure he was safe first. He wanted to give Geralt a piece of his mind. 

“What did you have in mind?” Jaskier huffed and Lambert only beamed. 

“Wanna dye his hair blue, thinking about doing it in the springs where he doesn’t really notice what he is putting in his hair.” 

“That’s because I am normally the one to give him the oils and shampoo for his hair love.” 

“That’s why I need your help, pretty bard.” 

Jaskier hummed as he frowned, he wasn’t sure if this was the right way to go, “Do you even have the dye?” 

“Of course I do! Got it before I came up here,” Lambert scoffed and Jaskier still hesitated. 

“Will it wash out?” 

“No fucking idea,” Lambert laughed and Jaskier sighed. “He also said there was no way you would agree with traveling with me.” 

“What!? That bastard, let’s do it.” 

“Now we’re talking!” Lambert smiled as he stood up, jaskier squeaking as he wrapped his arms around his witcher's neck, “Don’t worry pretty bard, I won’t drop you.” 

“You better not, now to the baths witcher!” 

He heard Lambert grumble, but he did what Jaskier said and he took it as a win. 

By the time Geralt and Eskel came in the baths, he and Lambert had everything ready and oh was Jaskier excited to see how this would work. Eskel only smiled widely at him while Geralt only nodded before both witchers were naked and in the water. 

“So, you two on better terms?” Jaskier only asked and Geralt only glared at Eskel who only grinned. 

“Geralt apparently didn’t like that I told you about the moat incident when we were younger.” 

“No I did not,” Geralt grumbled and Jaskier only chuckled as Eskel winked at the bard. 

It was quick to pull out the oils that he knew Geralt approved of and to line them up by the edge; he knew the water was going to turn blue but Lambert told him that it was an easy fix for the hot springs. He only gave Eskel a nod to show him that another one of Lambert’s plans were in the works and Eskel only hummed as he shrugged. 

Seemed like Eskel wasn’t going to stop anything and Lambert would be pleased if he were here. 

“Now Geralt, remember this one is to sit in your hair for a while before you wash it out.” 

Geralt only hummed as Jaskier poured the blue oil into white locks, capping the empty vial before he started to massage the oil into the hair. Geralt only hummed, his eyes slipping closed and Eskel only stared with wide eyes before he shook his head. Huh, Eskel really wasn’t going to stop this. 

Lambert would be more than pleased. 

“Alright, now just rest and let it do it’s thing.” Jaskier whispered as he frowned at the blueness of his hands. His hands better not be blue after this or he was going to make Lambert work for his forgiveness. 

Now all there was left was to wait and oh did Jaskier wait as he grinned. Eskel only looked amused as he climbed out of the springs, drying off quickly. It wasn’t long until Lambert waltzed in, looking absolutely ecstatic that Geralt still hadn't noticed yet. 

“Gonna head off now, you boys take care of yourselves,” Jaskier called before he was out of there, immediately going to his room to scrub the blue off his hands. It was difficult, and he wasn’t thrilled but after a few minutes most of it managed to come off. He would have to thank Lambert for leaving the water hot rather than cold. 

It was only a few moments later when he heard Geralt roar and he laughed. He could only hope that Lambert would come back to him in one piece. He only hoped that Geralt wouldn’t be too mad at him for allowing it to happen because, well, he did have a big hand in this one. 

He only grinned, he had what was coming to him anyway, he wasn’t going to regret it. And later on when they all sat down for dinner, Jaskier laughed to the point he was on the floor after looking at Geralt and all the blue that was his hair. 

“You’re not safe either Jaskier,” Gerat warned and Jaskier only nodded as he tried to breathe. 

“I think it suits you,” Eskel wheezed out and it only sent the rest of them back into fits of laughter. 

“Should have never allowed you two to meet,” Geralt growled as Lambert picked Jaskier up from the floor and into his lap. 

“Nah, it was the best thing you did.”  

“Don’t worry Geralt, lots of hot water and a little bit of time will get it out,” Jaskier offered as his apology and Geralt only shook his head before nodding, his quiet acceptance of his apology and Jaskier knew all was well. “But I still have to give you a piece of my mind White Wolf.” 

Geralt only frowned before he seemed to freeze and Jaskier knew that the other man got what exactly he was talking about. It also seemed Geralt knew there was no escape to it. Good. Let the man worry. Lambert was the best thing that happened to him and Geralt needed to have that drilled into him, apparently.

Just meant more fun for him in some ways. 

[imagineimagineimagine]

Jean Gunnhildr: How She Would Fall In Love

Jean knows she can't deny her feelings for you anymore when she sees the look of relief on your face. When she wakes up from yet another exhaustion induced coma, your face,(with eyes red and strained from worry),is the first thing she sees.

For a woman bound by her duty like Jean, the thought of pursuing some fleeting notion such as romance is a nice but unrealistic fantasy. As such, she is the type of person who needs to develop a close friendship with a person before she can even think of anything romantic occurring

Because of this, there are two romantic possibilities I see working out: You are either the Traveler, or you are a fellow Knight of Favonius

As the Traveler, your presence within the city of Mondstadt is quite the ordinary sight by now. Since you are always completing commissions, helping out the people, and defending the city, its pretty easy to find opportunities to get closer to the Acting Grand Master.

Once you've fought opponents like Stormterror, the Abyss, and the Fatui by her side, Jean knows you're someone she can count on and relate to as an equal. Not a superior whose expectations she needs to meet nor a subordinate she needs to direct. You are someone who sees and treats her as an equal, and she in turn offers you that same courtesy. As time goes on, she will become more comfortable with both your presence in her life and for your assistance should she require it.

This in turn will lead to the two of you spending more time together and for Jean to think you as more than just the Honorary Knight, but rather as a close friend like she does for Lisa, Diluc, and Kaeya

If you go the fellow knight route, you're going to have to work a bit harder for her attention.

I don't see Jean going for an active working knight who has seniority (possible but not likely). To her, you'd be a mentor. Someone whose example she to aspire to, and whose teaching should be taken to heart. You are someone who can help her on her path to becoming the leader Mondstadt deserves. A close acquaintance might be the extent of this relationship but nothing more.

A knight her age, or one who took the Knight's Selection Exam at the same time as her would have it the easiest. Training together, doing your duties, and being fellow knight newbies would provide you ample opportunities to become her friend before she becomes the Acting Grand Master.

If you became a knight after she did, you are going to have to work your butt off to get her attention. Jean has to pay attention to all the knights (as well as the civilians) under her charge, so you're going to have to be exceptional in almost every aspect of your knightly duties for her to notice you. In you Jean will see a kindred spirit (someone like her who is aiming to be the best they can be), and in time will become more comfortable offering advice, helping refine your fighting technique, and trusting you with more responsibilities as your friendship progresses. The downside is that no matter how close your friendship becomes, Jean will always maintain a bit of professional distance between the two of you.

However it won't be until Jean collapses from exhaustion in her story mission that your relationship becomes a little closer

After she recovers and goes back to work, you decide to take a more active roll in helping your friend.

You're already do 4 commissions a day or your duties as a knight, so what's a little extra work from time to time? Just until she's completely recovered of course (spoilers: that's a lie)

It's a delicate balancing act you're going to have to do. Help too little and Jean will overwork herself again, but help too much and Jean will feel as though she's a burden and will refuse your help; citing it as weakness unbecoming of the Grand Master.

So from time to time you'll come into her office and ask if she needs any help. If you just so happen to bring her food every once in a while, or distract her with conversation for 15 minutes or so, what can you do? It'd be rude of Jean to refuse after you've already gone to the trouble. It might not seem like a lot now, but overtime your efforts will go a long way in helping Jean balance her responsibilities and her health

Jeans not stupid though. She knows what you're trying do. But....she'd being lying if she said she didn't appreciate the thought. It's nice to have someone worry about you and make sure your alright. Usually its her job to lookout for the people of Mondstadt, so having someone lookout for her does makes her feel a little happy.

"If I were to be completely honest, its pleasant having (Y/N)check in on me from time to time. Strangely,it feels...almost domestic. Like a scene out of a romance novel."

"...What am I saying!"

- Shaking her head to remove any trace of that ridiculous thought, Jean gets back to work serving the people of Mondstadt.

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1st post!!! Would love your hear thoughts and critiques on my writing :)

[valyntynamaro]

Let It Be - Damiano David (Teacher!AU)

In which your science teacher Damiano David makes you stay behind after class <3 (ps, this is an old brian may imagine I wrote for my friend, I tried to replace every mention of his name but if I left some I'm sorry, ignore it, or let me know and I'll fix it, thank you)

warnings: swearing, slight smut, teacher x student key: y/l/n - your last name wordcount: 3,593

REQUESTS OPEN

"and I told them, look, I'm not a rockstar-" The dark-haired gentleman stands tall at the front of the class recalling for the millionth time about the time he started a band, saying he was a teacher he never did a lot of teaching but that was just his style, Mr David never really cared too much for the curriculum so taught whatever he pleased. The class laughed at his anecdote like they did every time he told it, people would ask him to tell it deliberately to pass the time so they wouldn't have to learn anything, this annoyed you a little as you were there to you know- get an education, however, you couldn't help but notice how happy he seemed when he recalled the same tale, he seemed at peace in remembrance of his life before this school.

Looking over the room, not taking in what he was saying, your eyes landed on a vintage-looking red and black electric guitar that sat against the large blackboard at the front of the class, you oftentimes felt bad for Damiano, knowing he spent the best years of his life out on tour playing music that he loved with people he loved and for people who loved him and now he was restricted to attempting to teach physics to a group of barely awake teenagers every day of the week.

"were you like famous sir?" one kid who sat at the back of the class asked, clearly uninterested but wanting to keep him talking about anything but what he was supposed to be teaching, which by now even you couldn't remember what the lesson was actually about.

"Not really, we felt like we were like we were owned the world but...well, I'm here aren't I" Damiano let out a sad chuckle at his statement, full of regret and resentment, causing you to frown slightly, he seemed nice and you couldn't help but think that he hated working here and wished he was still in the band but as he'd said previously he was 'past it'- whatever that meant.

"Will you play us something?" someone else asks, you place your head on the desk knowing exactly where this was going, fed up for him that people kept asking no matter how many times he declined. Sometimes when you'd be wandering down the science corridor on your way to hand a piece of work into another teacher you could hear him strumming melodically on his guitar, he'd never plug it in but you could just about hear the twang of the metal through the fire doors.

"I don't play anymore, anyway so what were we talking about? oh yeah wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff" the class groan as he gets back to what he was speaking about before he went off on one about his better years. " People assume that time is a strict progression of point a to be, cause to effect. However, from a non-linear, Non-subjective point of view, it's more of a big ball of you know.... wibbly wobbly timey wimey...stuff" he explains hopelessly to the dead-eyed kids in the room, you appeared to be the only one noting anything he said down, apart from the last part.

" Wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff?" you raise your hand and his mesmerising brown eyes landing on you where you sat centre back row.

"at a very very incredibly basic level, yes, but I guess I mean that time isn't really what people think it is it's more than just a series of events... its energy and could, with extremely intelligent almost alien technology could most likely be manipulated...but if I tried to explain the entire basis of time travel to you I'm sure your heads would explode" the class laugh, you roll your eyes at his lack of explanation.

"Not to be rude sir, but that is your job isn't it....to teach us" the class fell silent, everyone immediately stopped laughing, you heard sharp intakes of breath around the room. Damiano was usually a rather chill teacher, he was way more relaxed than a lot of other teachers at your school but no one would dare ever contradict him, it was unheard of.

"I'm sorry miss...." he stalks closer to your desk, his knuckles turning white from gripping on his pen so hard. you felt a little embarrassed as you noticed everyone's eyes on you.

"y/l/n" you gulped in reply, scared for what he might do to you, it was commonplace for teachers to punish their students when they spoke out of turn. "Miss y/l/n, do you have a problem with the way I teach my class?" he asks, finally stopping just before your desk, you look down at your feet and shake your head frantically. "I'm sorry I didn't quite get that" he leans in closer to you, raising your head to look at him your eyes meet and your body fills with fear, he wasn't necessarily a scary man overall but you found that he could be rather intimidating and dominating when threatened.

"No sir.." your voice comes out as nothing more than a squeak, he places his index finger under your chin forcing you to look directly in his eyes once you tried to lower your head in shame again. "louder." he sneers, your hands begin to shake forcing you to drop your pen to the floor. "I, I, uh i-I s-said" tears begin to form in your eyes, he notices and a sly smile forms on his handsome face. "LOUDER!" he barks, slamming his fist on the table making you jump in your chair. "No sir, I don't have a problem with the way you teach I'm sorry for speaking out of turn" he lets go of your chin and you immediately slump in your chair, a tear rolling down your flushed cheeks. "that's what I thought you said, now pick up your pen for heaven's sake!" he turns away to return to the front of the class, but as he does he deliberately kicks your pen across the room.

"yes sir!" you quickly rise for your seat and scurry across the room to where your pen had landed, you could feel everyone's eyes burning through you as you bent over to pick it up, your ass prominent in your tight denim wide-leg jeans, your orange tank top riding up slightly as you bent over revealing the bottom of a tattoo that crawled down your spine. You returned to your desk as quickly as you'd got over to your pen and sat down immediately, pretending to write down some stuff, though you were just trying to concentrate on not crying your eyes out.

The bell that signified the end of class rang and you shot up out of your seat, shoving your books and pens into your canvas tote bag that read some Beatles lyrics on it, you pushed to try and get out of class before he noticed but it was too late. "Miss y/l/n, get your ass back here, I'm not done with you" the rest of the class shuffled out quietly, obviously not wanting to make him even madder, you sat back at your desk and rested your head on it waiting for the classroom to become empty.

"now then, sorry I don't even think I know your name" he sits on the desk opposite you, his wavy brown hair was pushed back slightly and the top few buttons of his shirt had come undone, you had to admit he did look particularly attractive though it was hard to keep your mind focussed on his dashing looks when you knew you were about to get an absolute battering off the man.

"y/n, my name is y/n" you lean back in your chair attempting to relax however you sit right back up as he gives you a stern look of disapproval. "Okay so y/n, just by the way of introductory remarks, that I'm extremely pissed with today's events, and in my quest to make you understand the level of my unhappiness, I'm likely to use a lot of what we call violent sexual imagery and I just wanted to check that you wouldn't be offended by that" he taps his foot against the floor as though he was awaiting a reply to his rhetorical question. However, in your anxiety you made the mistake of actually giving him an answer, "I- I'm sorry what do-" he cuts you off, immediately getting off the desk and turning around, to try and conceal his anger.

"enough, e-fucking-nough, you young lady, need to learn how to shut your cave, learn some manners for crying out loud! how old are you?" he asks, slamming his hand on your desk, making you jump again.

"18...I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to be rude I just-" you interrupted by his open being launched across the room hitting the wall and falling apart. " did you not just fucking hear me! I said shut your mouth!" you just sit there, afraid to say anything in case he throws something again, your eyes don't leave your lap for minutes until you hear what you believe to be sniffling was he....crying?

looking up you see him sat slumped in his desk chair, his head in his hands weeping silently. You didn't know whether you should say anything or just get up and leave, getting up you sling your bag over your shoulder you creep over to the door, your hand grabs the handle and you were about to leave when suddenly you felt as though you couldn't, your body wouldn't let you go, the goodness in you wanted to help him, to make him feel better. sighing you drop your bag and walk over to him quietly picking up the acoustic guitar that sat by his electric one.

sitting on the desk next to his you situate the guitar in your lap, thinking over what you were about to do before you started strumming at it, repeating the same few chords before you began singing softly.

"Io c'ho vent'anni

Perciò non ti stupire se dal niente faccio drammi

Ho paura di lasciare al mondo soltanto denaro

Che il mio nome scompaia tra quelli di tutti gli altri

Ma c'ho solo vent'anni" you started, his head slowly rose as the first few words left your lips, a sad smile formed on his face as he wiped away a single tear from his reddened eyes.

"E già chiedo perdono per gli sbagli che ho commesso

Ma la strada è più dura quando stai puntando al cielo

Quindi scegli le cose che son davvero importanti

Scegli amore o diamanti, demoni o santi" you carried on, he swayed gently in his chair like he was in some great debate with himself in his head, debating whether or not he should stop you or let you carry on.

Strumming away on his guitar you finish up the song, he doesn't say anything the whole time you're singing he just gently smiles remembering his life before teaching.

"E farà male il dubbio di non essere nessuno

Sarai qualcuno se resterai diverso dagli altri

Ma c'hai solo vent'anni" you finish up, gently placing the guitar back to where it was before picking your bag back up to leave, reaching for the handle you frown slightly as he doesn't say anything, he just lets you walk out and leave. "y/n, please, stay" he finally croaks, his voice hoarse from sobbing, you nod turning around and sitting back where you were.

"How do you know that song?" he asks, rubbing at his eyes again this time with a tissue he'd gotten from his desk drawer. "It takes two seconds to google your name sir, I love your music, it's amazing" smiling softly, you pick up the guitar again and aimlessly pluck at the strings.

"thank you"

"for what?"

"for playing for me, you have a beautiful voice" he gets up and sits beside you, even sat down he towered over you, taking the guitar from you he started playing it almost effortlessly, playing a tune that you knew too well, one that your dad would play you when you were a child.

" When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be " you sing as he plays, you sway slightly as you sing the rest of the song along with his strumming, at one point you moved too far right and your head ended up resting against his side momentarily though he didn't seem to mind the contact.

"I'm sorry" he was the first to speak after you finished humming the last lyric of the song, you could feel a tear prick at the corner of your eye though this time it wasn't a tear of sadness but of peace, remembering all the times your dad would play it for you when you were younger, how happy you were then, how different and easy life was.

"for what?"

"for shouting earlier, you didn't deserve it, It's just I always get a bit upset this time of the year and I don't know how to control my emotions, I shouldn't have been as hard on you as I was you were just making a very valid point, I feel awful, especially as you're still being so kind and generous to me after all that, I don't deserve your graciousness, you should hate me" he starts, you could feel him getting emotional again and in an attempt to calm him down you lean your head against his side again, wrapping one arm around him, You knew that you technically shouldn't be doing this as he's your teacher but you couldn't help it he was in dire need of a hug.

"do you miss him?" you ask simply, of course, knew the answer already but it was good for him to talk about it, to get it off his chest.

"every day" he replies, a tear falling on his guitar, you rub his back softly and nod, "he was my best friend in the world, some times I felt like my only friend, 5 years, 5 whole years without him, I don't even know who I am anymore you know?" he places his guitar down on the floor, placing his head in his hands once more before sighing.

"I'm sorry, I know there's nothing that I can do to bring him back but I do know that I could perhaps help you feel better" you slide off the desk and walk over to the CD player on his desk that he would use for the class to play audio lessons. Out of your bag, you grab a CD and place it into the player, waiting for it to begin.

Walking back over to him, you slowly reach for his hands, which he lets you take, pulling him gently up off the desk and to the centre of the room where there was a slight gap between the board and the first row of desks.

"Today is gonna be the day" the song starts and he breathes out a slight laugh, "Oasis really!?" he asks rolling his eyes.

"shush your mouth and just dance with me old man" you chuckle and pull him slightly closer to yourself, swaying with him as the slow song played, as it went on he got more and more relaxed spinning you under his arms a few times before holding your body close to his own, wrapping his arms around you as you danced on the spot, silently.

"y/n?" he lifts his chin from where it rested on the top of your head, you looked up at him craning your neck slightly as you were still against him. "sir?", your arms wrapped around his back as you couldn't quite reach his neck, he bent down slightly to place his hands on your waist guiding you in what was a poorly coordinated yet sweet slow dance.

"thank you, from the bottom of my heart thank you, I don't think I've ever met anyone so forgiving, I truly don't deserve this" his face nuzzles into your hair as you shake your head at his statement, "no you don't but I don't care, we all deserve a little bit of love sometimes" he exhales a content sigh as he moves his face away from your head pulling away slightly from the embrace. Looking up at him, your eyes meet and for a second you forgot where you were, what rules you had to follow, who he was to you and just for a moment you felt like you had known this man your entire life like he was a completely different man to the one who you were terrified of only less than an hour ago.

And at that moment, that brief moment of serenity and complete bliss you reached up on your tiptoes, timidly pressing your lips against his own in a short yet incredibly loving kiss, one that clearly took him by surprise but instead of pushing you away like you thought he should, his strong and safe arms found their way around your waist again as he kissed back, deepening the kiss. It only lasted seconds but in his arms, you felt like hours had passed, you didn't want to leave his lips, you felt as though you could kiss him for the rest of the time, you wanted to- but of course, he had to break away.

"I'm so-" you began but he cut you off by placing his lips on your own again, this time you didn't hold back you reached up wrapping your arms around his neck bringing him closer to you, he in response pushed you back up against the desk and you jumped up, wrapping your legs around him, the kiss becoming more passionate by the second, his teeth grazing your bottom lip as one of his hands snaked up the back of your vest top, resting at the top of your spine, slightly pulling at your short hair that you thankfully wore down that morning.

"don't you dare say you're sorry," he pulls away before placing kisses all over your jaw and down your neck, you let out a breathy moan, your own hands playing with his magnificent hair, hair that you would often spend lessons admiring. "because if you're sorry, I'll just have to make up for it" he smirks, placing you back on the desk, leaning over he kisses all down your neck and across your collar bone, down your shoulders before returning to your lips.

"in that case, I'm definitely sorry" you giggle playfully in between kisses, your hands move down from his hair down to his shirt, undoing his shirt further until it was just hanging on his shoulders, he shakes his head and smirks at you before pushing you back slightly on the desk, you hold yourself up by your elbows, watching him as his head dips down to your exposed midriff, he places gentle kisses up from the hem of your jeans to the bottom of your cropped vest top, pulling it up further with every kiss his eyes widening as he realises you aren't wearing a bra.

"God, I love this" he laughs, running his tongue up the valley between your breasts, squeezing them slightly, his large hands almost covering your entire boob. "you're gorgeous" he smiles up at you, making you blush, your hands on the back of his head pulling at his hair as his mouth works at your left nipple, you let out another soft moan as his tongue flicks gently against the metal barbell that decorated your chest. "and I absolutely love these" his tongue again running over the length of the metal bar through your nipple, you bit your lip in reply not even being able to form any words.

"Christ! I need you so ba-" he starts but was cut off by the bell ringing again, signalling that his room would soon be full of students once again, who would catch you in the act if you weren't quick to cover it up. "Hold that thought!" he shakes his head, furiously trying to button his shirt back up whilst you jump off the desk pulling your top back down and rearranging your jeans that were now considerably damper than when you had arrived, the sensation of the wet fabric tight against you made you uncomfortable but you would just have to live with it.

"uh sir..." you shyly look over to him, your eyes fixed at the considerable ridge in his tight black work trousers. "oh shit, this is on you" he grabs his guitar covering his lap with it, "oh how I wish it was" you wink, teasing him as you grabbed your bag just as students started to walk into the room, none of them particularly paid attention to you being there, they just filed into their seats.

"until next time sir" you wave and wink seductively at him, causing him to purse his lips and roll his eyes at your teasing, "I'll be seeing you at lunch y/n this conversation is NOT over!" he put on a stern voice for the students making them all look at you, making all sorts of 'uh oh' and 'oooooh' noises, you nodded your head, "we'll see" if only they knew what had gone on only moments before.

[hellotvshowtrash]

Obey pt. 9

A/N: well, this is it! This is the last part of Obey. I think I’m more nervous about this last part than I have been about any other part, just because I want this to be good. This has been a crazy ride and I’m so glad you’ve all been here for it. Thank you for all your support ❤️ huge thank you to @njeancastro316 for starting this whole thing. Thank you for trusting me with your idea!

Huge huge huge shoutout to @elijahs-wife for the fucking awesome mood board she made for this series. Thank your unending support ❤️

Let’s do this!

Word count: 2k

WARNINGS: SMUT 18+ Choking, blood, mentions of death and torture, a happy ending.

((God how ridiculously cool is this moodboard))

Five months had passed since the Mystic Falls incident. In the weeks after, Elijah had helped Y/N cope with the hell of being kidnapped, hunted and subsequently murdered by her ex husband, then, helping her cope with the bonus stress of transitioning and then killing said ex husband. The relief she felt the night it all happened lasted only for that night, as it was followed by guilt and sorrow and rage, emotions she was all too familiar with but not on the level she felt it at as a vampire. Elijah was there for her every step of the way, never leaving her side. Around month two, she had begun to even out and come to terms with what had happened. At month three, she was able to return to work, now having her hunger under control and her emotions in check.

In her recovery, the summer heat had melted away, being replaced by the warm tones of autumn, which were short lived. December rolled around and the New Orleans Christmas decorations came alive. Y/N was glowing. Her walls had begun to fall away and she was showing new bits and pieces of herself every day. Elijah watched as she grew confident in ways that may have been considered small, but it made her so much more special to him. She cared about her job more than ever, her coworkers included. She had begun friendships with fellow nurses and worked harder than she ever had before. Sophie had seen her less and less as Y/N had learned to live and love her life, uninhibited.

She sat comfortably in her cozy apartment, for once bothering to make it feel like home rather than cold, and she actually wanted to spend time in her own space. There was no threat to her safety in her own home anymore. No denying herself the feeling of warmth and happiness. Her thoughts wandered to how she had changed as a vampire, and she dwelled on how she had spent her time as a human. She decided that she was ultimately the better version of herself this way. A knock on her front door startled her from her thoughts. She turned her head in the direction of the door and stood, wrapping her arms around herself as she opened the door. Elijah stood on the other side, looking at her expectantly. She stood aside and beckoned him in.

"Good evening, darling." He smiled, bending to kiss her cheek. She grinned at him and closed the door behind him. "Are you ready?" He asked, looking around the room. Y/N’s grin switched to a grimace.

"Actually, I... thought maybe we could spend the weekend here. At my place." She said sheepishly. She had made the comment to him that she missed the snow every winter. She hadn't seen it in about seven years. He arranged a stay for them at a cottage in upstate New York for the weekend, an early Christmas gift to her. "Could we maybe do the cottage another weekend? I'm just finally enjoying my own home, for once." She looked around the space and smiled happily. She turned back to look at him for his reaction and found him grinning at her. "What?" She asked.

"Of course we can stay here. I adore seeing you this content. I'd do anything to keep you this way." He took a step toward her and wrapped his arms around her, planting a kiss atop her head as he hugged her. She closed her eyes and hummed merrily as she wrapped her arms around his torso. He pulled away slightly and lifted her chin to look up at him. "I'm quite proud of the progress you've made, Y/N." He praised. She blushed at him and tried to avert her eyes, but he kept her locked in his gaze. "You're truly remarkable." He whispered, leaning down to close the gap between them. He kissed her softly, his lips grazing hers. She closed her eyes in bliss. She let herself get carried away, deepening the kiss and nibbling at his bottom lip. He smiled and chuckled into the kiss. He gave her a quick squeeze before pulling away and turning to face the room.

"Elijah?" She grabbed ahold of him, her hands grasping onto the sleeve of his jacket. She tugged and fumbled but managed to pull him back to her, her hands reaching to cup his face. "I'm sorry, I just -," she kissed him again hastily, toying with the buttons on his suit jacket. "I'm still getting used to the whole -," her lips were on his again breathlessly, his hands traveling the curves of her body. "Vampire thing," she moved her kisses slowly over to his ear and nibbled on his lobe, lowering down to his neck while nipping and sucking at the skin. She tugged the suit jacket off of him, leaving him in his classic button down dress shirt. He groaned and closed his eyes, a small smile crossing his lips before he bit his lower one.

"Don't apologize, dear." He groaned, "We'll just have to get you accustomed to this lifestyle," he flipped the switch swiftly with his hands on her hips in dominance, pushing her backward into the door behind her. She gasped at the sudden change but welcomed it hungrily. He tugged at the bottom of her shirt and she lifted her arms. He threw the shirt away from them and lowered to his knees, kissing up and down her chest and abdomen, moving slowly down her body. His finger grazed along the top of the waistband on her leggings before he pulled them down and off of her, leaving her completely exposed. She panted and looked down at him. Nothing pleased her more than the sight of him in front of her, working his way down to where she wanted him most.

As if she weighed nothing, he scooped her up by the thighs and placed her legs on his shoulders. He got right to work, sliding his tongue between her folds, her hips twitching at the contact as a satisfied moan escaped her. Her eyes dragged closed as his tongue circled her clit expertly, drinking her in. He hummed as he took in her taste and she moaned at the vibrations sent up her spine. He swirled his tongue over her clit, coaxing her closer to the edge. Her hands found their way to his hair and tangled themselves in it, tugging as she felt a familiar pit in her stomach. His name left her lips in a hiss, "Elijah, I'm close," she whispered. He snaked his hand up to her soaked entrance and plunged a finger in, instantly getting it covered in slick. Her moans began to pick up, his finger working her quickly. She tugged on his hair harder, just on the brink of orgasm when it was pulled away from her and he stopped. Her eyes flew open and she whined, looking down at him as he pulled away. In a flash, he was standing now, one arm wrapped around her waist, the other working the button and zipper of his pants, hastily pulling them off. He used his weight to keep her pinned against the door, legs wide open for him.

Her hand found Elijah's cheek and she caressed it as she looked into his eyes. Hers were hazy and halfway closed as he thrust into her. He eyed her wrist that was mere inches from his mouth. He wanted her to feel the depth of emotion he held for her, and he could only think of one way to convey it to her. With one hand supporting her against the door, the other grabbed her wrist and brought it to his mouth, biting into her. Elijah didn't realize how badly he had wanted to taste her again until that moment, and he wondered how many different ways he could drink her in. He drank from her wrist as he thrust, her breathy moans mixed with the sound of skin on skin. Her eyes widened as she watched him with her wrist on his lips. She hooked her feet behind his waist as he pinned her against the door, his pace quickening still. The door behind them shook from his intensity.

His hips snapped up against hers relentlessly, fucking her in the way she'd been craving. He pulled his lips away from her wrist as it healed itself, his eyes dark and filled with lust. Hers too began to turn black, the veins underneath becoming more prominent. He placed his free hand on the door behind her to stabilize himself, his forearm just beside her face. She threw her head back and cried out his name before turning her head and grasping onto his arm, biting into him. He hissed as she did, pleasure coursing through him. She gasped as she drank, a new feeling of euphoria and closeness washing over her. She pulled away with his blood running over her lips as her orgasm rushed through her, screams of his name reverberating off the apartment walls. His hand moved off of the door behind her and onto her throat, squeezing as she came, her eyes rolling back in her head.

"Elijah..." she whispered hoarsely, his fingers still around her neck. "More," she whined. His eyes shone darkly and he released his grip on her throat, lowering her from the door. She grasped his arms and sped them across the apartment and into her room, pushing him down onto the mattress. He smiled and bared his teeth, eyebrows raised as she climbed atop him. She sank down onto his cock, taking him in entirely. She relished the look on his face as she did so, with his eyes partially closed and his mouth agape. A low moan escaped his lips as she began to bounce. His hands found her hips naturally, helping her keep balance and rhythm. She leaned her torso down, laying on top of him as she rode. She peppered kisses and bites along his chest and neck, drawing her name from his lips. She moved faster, sliding up and down on him with ease.

He growled and pulled her off of him, quickly flipping them around so her back was on the mattress. She squealed as he did so, but it turned into a moan as he plunged into her roughly, not giving her time to adjust. His hand reached for her throat and he squeezed, giving the perfect amount of pleasure. He wasn't going to go easy on her, he was seeking his own satisfaction now. He lifted one of her legs up his torso, resting her ankle on his shoulder and he fucked her senselessly, his pace maddening and sloppy. One hand gripped his forearm above her, the other gripped the sheets beneath her as another orgasm washed over her and he spilled into her. He moaned, his voice raspy as he let the built up tension leave his body. He looked down at Y/N and found her already grinning at him. He pulled out of her and got up to find a towel.

"May I ask why you're so chipper?" He asked her, moving onto the bathroom.

"Vampire sex is awesome," she said enthusiastically. He stared at her through the mirror in the bathroom blankly before breaking out into a laugh.

"Yes, darling. It is 'awesome'," he quoted back to her. Her grin faded into a smile as he walked out of the bathroom and to her side as she laid on the bed. He bent down to clean her up gently. After, he threw the towel into the dirty laundry basket and flopped onto the bed next to her. She looked at him adoringly as he laid his arm out in an invitation. She looked from him to his arm and, still smiling, climbed right up next to him. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I'm so proud of you." He whispered.

"I'll never be that me again." She countered confidently. "I can still be my own person even if I'm with you. I am my own fire."

He squeezed his arm around her gently. "I wouldn't have you any other way."

—

Thanks for reading, y’all! See you in the next one. ❤️

Obey only taglist: @mikaelson-emma @raemikaelson @kpopgirlbtssvt @within-thehollowcrown @babyleafydarkness

Always taglist: @elijahs-wife @dumble-daddy @soul-revoir @drachentraum @nikmikaelsonswife @njeancastro316

Feel free to send me an ask if you want to be included on my Always taglist!

[ggidolsmuts]

Childish - Blackpink Jisoo

You're waiting around at the amusement park, watching the crowds of couples and packs of students streaming in, ready to take your place in the never-ending lines at every ride you want to go on. Where the hell is she? You wonder, your foot tapping the pavement impatiently. You're pretty sure you made a dent on the sidewalk when finally you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn your face, only to be stopped by a finger pressed on your cheek.

"Got you! Hey oppa." You turn around to find the second half of your very own couple.

"Yes yes you got me, how old are you now Jisoo?"

"Hey! That's not polite!" She clings on to your arm, happy to see you again. "Oh no the lines, are we late?"

"Nope, everyone was early." She was late, but you found her so adorable you could overlook it. "Let's go."

As you entered the amusement park hand-in-hand Jisoo brings up an odd topic.

"Oppa, you know today is Opposites' Day right?"

"No, what is that?"

"It means you have to say the opposite of whatever you mean. So if I say I hate you, it means I love you!"

"No that's silly, and don't say that, I'm hurt now." You fake tears and shake your shoulders, pretending to be hurt by her words.

"Aww okay, anyways, you're "it" for today, you have to say the opposite of whatever you mean, okay?"

"Okay..." Jisoo raises her eyebrows at you? "I mean, not okay...?"

"Good oppa! Come on, let's go!"

You are dragged by the hand into the amusement park, Jisoo smiling happily at you the whole way. As soon as you are in however, you are basically accosted by an aggressive headband seller.

"Hey my friend, how about a cute hairband for your beautiful girlfriend?"

"I-uhh... no thank you."

"Yay thanks oppa!" Jisoo turns to the seller. "He means yes, I'll take the bunny one."

"Thank you, that'll be 10000 won."

"What?!"

"Come on, don't I look cute? Hmm? Hmm?" Jisoo's cuteness with the hairband on breaks down your exasperation, and you pay the park employee.

"Here you go."

"Thank you, I hope you enjoy your visit!"

"Don't you want a matching one?"

"Yes, I'm sure I do." Jisoo's face falls as you smartly avoid her trap.

"You're no fun."

"Come on, let's not check out the rides." The two of you check out a few easy but fun ones at first, enjoying crashing into others in the bumper cars and riding the Viking, but Jisoo's tastes get progressively more and more extreme, and you find yourself strapped in with her in a Tower of Terror type ride.

"Jisoo, do we have to do this?"

"Do we not have to do this? You're right oppa, we do have to do this!" She smiles at you right as the ride shoots you up into the air, overlooking the rest of the park from up high. All you hear is your own screaming while the ride jerks you up and down in the air.

"Can we go home?" You ask Jisoo, your legs wobbly and weak from the ride.

"Of course oppa, let's go check more rides out!" You smack yourself in the face as Jisoo runs to the park map, looking for the next ride to torture you with.

"Let's check that one out!" It turns out that the one Jisoo had in mind was a real killer of a roller coaster, with multiple people coming out with faces green or hunched over right outside the ride exit.

"C-can we not Jisoo?" She smiles at your poorly worded question.

"I thought you'd never ask!" She pushes you into the ride, the lack of a line painfully convenient for her. The two of you are strapped in far too quickly.

"W-wait, I think I want off."

"Of course sir." The ride attendant makes to unstrap you from the seat, but Jisoo blocks him.

"Sorry, he's confused, he means he wants to stay on, opposite day, you understand." The attendant clearly doesn't, but he listens to Jisoo's gorgeous smile at him over your pleading glances for help.

"This will be the last one okay? I promise!" You don't believe her, but all you can do now is grab on to Jisoo's hand tightly as the ride starts, quickly throwing you into a murderous series of turns and loops. The rest of it is a blur, all you remember is holding on to Jisoo's hand like your life depended on it.

"That was great!"

"Argh..." You double over at the exit of the ride, dry retching and trying not to throw up.

"Oppa are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine... I mean not fine, give me a minute." Jisoo stays by your side, gently patting your back until you are finally good enough to straighten back up.

"I'm bad now, do you not want to get breakfast?" She smiles happily at your question.

"Now you're finally getting it! Let's get dinner!"

Dinner was an expensive but sadly mediocre affair at one of the many restaurants in the amusement park, and the two of you left the place full but unsatisfied.

"Oppa do you want to get on more rides?" Jisoo asks you.

You make a show of rubbing your stomach. "Yes, I'm so hungry right now." Jisoo pouts, but agrees to end the trip.

"Aww fine, let's go home then?" You shake your head in reply, and the two of you end your trip to the amusement park, getting a taxi back home.

"It was so fun today oppa." Jisoo sighs, leaning her head oh your shoulder.

"No, it was so boring." You feel Jisoo chuckle against you.

"Oh stop, enough with the opposite day stuff."

"Yes, I will stop now."

"You're so bad!"

"I can't be... nicer." You whisper in Jisoo's ear sensually, a different type of shudder traveling through her body. The two of you struggle to keep your hands to yourselves, one of your hands sneaking down the back of her shorts, squeezing and tracing circles on her peachy butt. Jisoo meanwhile has a hand on your thigh, lightly gripping you, oh so slowly making her way closer and closer to your crotch. You are glad that the taxi ride doesn't last for much longer, else the two of you would be giving the driver a backseat show. You reluctantly slip your hand out of Jisoo's shorts as the taxi comes to a halt, and after paying the oblivious taxi driver the two of you make your way quickly to your apartment.

As soon as the door shuts Jisoo jumps into your arms, her lithe legs wrapping around you, your hands going naturally to her generous thighs to hold her up.

"Thanks for playing along with me today oppa."

"You're not welcome." You kiss her deeply, carrying her to the bedroom, both of you drowning in a mix of love and lust. Depositing her on the bed, your cock begins to harden, watching her be so adorable and yet incredibly sexy as she slowly rids herself of her top, revealing a lacy black bra.

"Someone’s not horny is she?" You ask her, admiring her from above, running your hands up and down her petite body, both of you trembling in anticipation.

"Oppa just shut up and kiss me already." You capture her lips while your hands pick up from where you left off in the taxi, sliding beneath her shorts from below this time, cupping her butt.

"Ah... you love my butt don't you?"

"No I don't..." You squeeze a moan from her, feeling her body warm up underneath your touch. Disappointingly you feel Jisoo push herself up the bed and getting out from below you.

"Okay you need to stop that now, and I'm going to make you." Still half-dressed Jisoo gets off the bed, pushing you and making you take her spot previously, sitting on the edge of the bed. With little fanfare she strips you of your pants and boxers, licking her lips at the sight of your stiff cock. She causes you to groan when she grips your shaft firmly, beginning to slowly stroke you.

"Oppa, tell me what you want me to do."

"I-I want you to stroke my cock..." Jisoo stops immediately. "What?"

"You liked opposite day so much, so I'm going to not stroke your cock."

"Fine, I want you to stop stroking my cock- oooh yes..." You moan as she strokes you with both hands, the delicious friction burning you up.

"What next?"

"Suck me please..." She continues to stroke you instead. "I mean, don't suck me."

"Are you sure you want to keep talking in opposites?" She doesn't let you reply, instead taking the sensitive tip of your cock in mouth and swirling her tongue around it. You can only throw your head back and moan, every lick of her tongue sending jolts of pleasure through you.

"Fuck Jisoo, I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that."

"Oh what? You're not going to cum if I keep doing that? I guess I'll stop then." You feel your cock throb in the air, eager for Jisoo's touch as she backs away from you, somehow looking even sexier half-dressed in her bra and shorts.

"What? No don't stop! Okay okay I'll stop doing opposites, please go back to sucking me!"

"That's more like it." She leans back down on your cock again, taking all of you in her mouth. The feel of her mouth is delightful as Jisoo hollows out her cheeks, allowing your cock to poke against the side of her mouth. Low groans escape her while she works on you, and you look down to see your naughty girlfriend touching herself while sucking you off, a hand down her shorts while the other strokes your balls. The image is far too erotic, and you feel yourself get close to the edge.

"I'm so close Jisoo. Where should I cum?" She is too caught up in her own pleasure, her hand working furiously underneath her shorts. The increasing vibrations of her moans tip you over the edge, and you pull her head into your crotch as you orgasm, flooding her mouth with your white cum.

"Mmph?! Mm mm!" Jisoo's reaction is one of surprise - her eyes wide open, looking at you with surprise before they roll back in her head, her own pleasure overtaking her, her fingers playing with herself and the cum filling her mouth triggering an orgasm of her own. Her jaw goes slack around your cock, groaning and shuddering as she rides out her orgasm, a mix of her saliva and your cum spilling out of her mouth and on to the floor. You gently remove yourself from her mouth and Jisoo goes weak, collapsing between your legs. She pulls her hand out of her shorts - it is completely drenched with her juices. To add to the dirty scene your drool and cum-coated cock begins dripping on to her face while she lays under you, still trying to recover from her own orgasm.

"Damn babe, you couldn't wait for me to touch you?"

"Hehe sorry oppa, I was so wet while sucking you."

"I should punish you for that... go get cleaned up and let's do round two."

"Sure, I won't be long." She takes off her ruined shorts and throws them at you, letting you feel and smell the aftermath of her climax. She walks away clad in a matching set of black lace panties, her hips swaying every step of the way. Jisoo turns around, smacking her butt and letting it jiggle for you before she enters the bathroom. Everything about her turns you on to no end, and your cock is already stiff and waiting when she returns completely naked. Her perky breasts lightly jiggle as she walks seductively towards you, her toned abs and full thighs on display with every step.

"Good oppa, you're ready to go, I'm really hungry again..." She tries to get on top of you, wanting to ride you while you lie on the bed, but you have your own form of punishment for her. You pull her down next to you, the two of you facing each other side-by-side.

"Ooh this is new."

You swing one of her legs over you, allowing her to straddle you sideways. You kiss her lovingly while you torture her, your cock rubbing on her folds, giving her a taste of the pleasure she wanted.

"Come on oppa... put it in me already."

"So... I was thinking, after making me talk in opposites the whole day, I think I'll make you talk in opposites the whole night. From now on I'll treat everything as the opposite of what you say." Jisoo opens her mouth to reply, but she is forced to let out a moan instead when you grab a small but perfect breast, teasing her further while you rub your cock against her heat.

"What was that?"

"Fuck you feel so good..."

"I don't feel good? Oh no, let's try this!" You will yourself to pull away from her, replacing your shaft with your fingers, rubbing her dripping slit gently. It is pleasurable for Jisoo, but not nearly as satisfying.

"N-nooooo!" Her hips buck towards you and she tries to scoot down the bed, wanting to feel your cock again.

"Yes? You like that? Okay I'll keep using my fingers." Jisoo's eyes are wide and pleading, realizing you were serious about your "punishment".

"Come on oppa, please don't fuck me."

"Good girl..." You remove your fingers, a whimper escaping Jisoo at the sudden lack of friction. The two of you groan out loud when you finally push into her, filling her partly. You resist the urge to push fully into her, despite the hungry grasp of her walls.

"Do you like this?"

Jisoo can only nod, much to her error.

"You don't? Let me pull out then." Her leg hurriedly grips you, trying to keep you from pulling away.

"N-no, I mean yes, please pull out!" You tease both of you further, not thrusting into her deeply, only sinking into her partially before pulling away, denying both of you complete satisfaction. You watch Jisoo's face with delight, her face twisted in unsatisfied pleasure, her eyes madly begging you to go deeper, not trusting herself to say the right words. But you keep going, only thrusting into her shallowly.

"Oppa..." her voice a needy whimper.

"D-deeper-" You pull out even further on your thrust before she panics, quickly asking for the opposite. "Shallower, shallower!" You allow yourself to plunge in just that bit deeper.

"P-please oppa, pull completely out of me." You grin, knowing what the both of you want.

"Are you sure?" Her eyes widen, unsure how you're interpreting her words now.

"I-I... no?"

Jisoo can't help but cry when you bury yourself to the hilt in her. "Y-yes!"

"No?"

"N-no, I mean yes, I mean no, I mean- !" You pull out before thrusting powerfully into her again, drawing a scream from her. "Fuck!"

"Oppa please-" You pump her slowly but deeply, trying to hit the end of her depths with every thrust, leaving her speechless, your girlfriend only able to voice out loud moans of pure pleasure. You stop after another minute of deep thrusts, sinking deep into her and staying there, feeling every part of her walls clinging on to you, contracting erratically on you as both of you near orgasm.

"Tell me what you want." Your question is pointless, as Jisoo's eyes are shut tightly, still indulging in the pleasure of your thrusts. Her mouth hanging open, drool leaking down the side of her mouth. She finally opens her eyes when you repeat the question once more.

"Oppa I- I need to cum."

"Do you need to cum or not need to cum?"

"I, I, I-... don't know... ah!" You might have actually fucked Jisoo silly. You thrust one more time into her before releasing both of you from your misery.

"I'm going to make us cum now, okay?" Jisoo barely registers your words, only a slight change in her gaze acknowledging you, her mouth still hanging open, almost begging for a kiss. You wrap your arms around her, pulling her in and kissing her, your tongue darting in and out of her mouth while your cock does the same thing below. Her screams into your mouth get louder and louder, and so do your moans as your pace picks up. Your hands on her butt once more, you pull her hips towards you with a slam, as if trying to split her in two, hitting the deepest you’ve been inside her. Jisoo tears her lips away from the kiss to scream her orgasm out to the world.

The sudden extreme tightness of Jisoo's pussy sends a jolt up your spine, and you instantly climax with her, groaning against her neck, your cock unloading your second load of cum into her. The two of you release groans of pure satisfaction at the sensation of filling and being filled. She quivers in your arms, her hips meeting every buck of yours as the two of you seek to stuff her full with your thick semen. You only feel her relax her grip on your body and cock when she finally comes down from her trip to the clouds. Her eyes open, a weak smile crossing her face.

"Babe please let's never do that again."

"Why, did I fuck your brains out?" Jisoo can only manage a weak chuckle as you wipe the drool from her mouth, blushing before giving you a peck on the lips.

"Yes, it felt so good..." You hug her tightly, the two of you still connected, your limbs twining with one another. You can't help but let out a moan as she tries to nestle closer to you, her walls still massaging your semi-erect cock.

"Think you can go again?" Her fingers dance across your chest, trying to entice you.

"When it's you, probably."

"No more games okay?" She crinkles her nose, smiling cutely at you.

"No more, ride me." You roll on your back, pulling Jisoo on top of you. She hugs you, whispering dirty words to get you hard again.

"Fuck oppa, I can feel you leaking out of me, do you feel it on your cock?" Jisoo grinds you slowly, smearing your cock with a mixture of cum and juice.

"Ugh yes..."

"Come on oppa, get hard again, then put another load in me, your baby girl needs to feel full again..." You never tire of hearing the normally cute Jisoo try to seduce you like this, and it always works, your cock rising again in her. She smiles in delight and immediately begins bouncing her hips on top of you, quickly letting her urges take over.

Sweat drips down Jisoo's face, your pants in rhythm with hers as she drives herself down on you, her tender walls hugging your shaft silkily with every drop of her hips. You watch the lovely woman above you zone out, her mind fully focused on chasing her own climax, her expression frozen in one of extreme euphoria... and then with a quiver of her lips she cracks.

"Nngh yes!" With a loud exhaled moan her heat envelopes you even more tightly, her juices rushing over your cock and staining your crotch. You feel her body flex and twitch in your arms, gasping for breath as her orgasm pummels her senses. She collapses on top of you, and you gently roll her off to the side, cushioning her head with the pillow, the two of you laying side by side again.

"Y-you didn't cum?"

"I will soon." With a whimper from Jisoo you begin thrusting into her, looking right into her tired but satisfied eyes. She wraps one leg around your thigh while the other tangles around your inside leg, making sure you can't pull out, not that you would ever want to. Her breath is hot on your face, a moan escaping her with every slow thrust into her overstimulated warmth. Her hands roam your body, trying to help you to the finish line, but her voice does most of the work.

"I'm so sensitive oppa, you feel so hot and thick..." Jisoo's whimpering dirty talk set you off almost immediately.

"Oh fuck... Jisoo!" You push yourself as deep as you can before your orgasm washes over you. You can barely hear your own groan of release as Jisoo lets loose a loud moan of satisfaction, your cum coating her walls once more, filling what little empty space there is left inside her with your seed.

You make sure she feels every inch of your throbbing cock, bucking into her mindlessly with every shot of cum. You wrap her up in a passionate embrace, the two of you trembling with intimate joy. You hands go once again to her butt, grabbing and pushing yourself just that little bit deeper into her as you capture her lips, making sure you have nothing left to give her.

"I feel so full!" Jisoo whines happily as she buries herself in your chest. You make to try and pull out, but she stops you. "Don't! Let's just... stay like this for a while, please?" You hug her tighter, feeling her walls pleasurably cling on to you as begin to soften, your heartbeats no longer racing like mad.

"You made such a mess in me..." The two of you look down as you finally soften and slip out of her, two loads of white cum rushing out of her freshly-fucked folds and trailing down her thigh.

"You made me make such a mess in you." You murmur into her ear, kissing her blushing cheek.

"Let's not do the opposite game again... I can't think while you're fucking me so good."

"So do you mean let's do it again then?" You cheekily smirk at her.

"No!" She playfully hits you.

"So you mean yes? You started it at the amusement park."

"Yes yes I regret it..." She adds on her in a whisper, almost talking to herself. "Maybe not if you do that to me again..."

"I'll take that as a maybe." You kiss her on the lips before drawing the covers. The two of you drifting off to sleep, exhausted in mind and body.

A/N: I just had a really dumb idea for a “Opposite’s day” thing where you end up fucking someone silly, so I went ahead and wrote it lol. Jisoo was a perfect fit, being kinda dorky and sexy at the same time. Also I can’t get this out of my head - the front view is great, but the back is amazing.

Thank you for reading!

[sooniesspot]

Fluff Drabbles

☁️ Jeongguk Fluff ☁️

warnings: poetically implied smut, longing. Lil smidge of loneliness. Its fluff so, lots of that. Oh and he calls the reader pickle bc I think it's the cutest thing ever. Also very quintessentially British buuuuut... we joon

word count: 2.2k

A/N: it was bc of that goddamn vlive. Made me think of sleepy/silly koo and reader waking up bc they could sense he wasn't with them 🤧 okay don't @ me

“You know I can’t sleep without you.”

1:32am. Blaring red on your digital alarm clock after peering onto your nightstand, futile attempts of finding your boyfriend in between sheets. You could sense he wasn’t with you and that’s why you woke.  The door to your hallway a thin line of light cascading through as you grumbled; hearing fake gunshots and delirious rock music on the game you had abandoned your boyfriend to hours ago. In favour of getting some much-needed sleep you so desperately craved for after a long day. Getting up and groggily making it over to the door, you peered out down the stairs to see your boyfriend, headphones around his neck as he was glued to the screen in front of him, luckily, he had heeded your advice before you shuffled up the stairs and moved further away from the screen to protect his precious eyes. 

You tip toed down the stairs. Still seeing his silhouette, a direct contrast of the zombie apocalypse happening on screen. His back facing you as you could see his head just above the back of the sofa. Instead of scaring him half to death you made your presence known at his side. Watching his profile in wonder. Eyes lighting up; reflecting the screen as his character hopped about around rubble and old cars. Tongue darting out of his mouth on the odd occasion as deft fingers moved around the controller with familiarity. He was wearing spotted pajama bottoms and an old Balenciaga graphic t-shirt as if it didn’t cost the whole sum of your entire wardrobe to be later used as a sleep shirt. 

“Hey.” You whispered, finally getting his attention after he paused the game; looking to you. 

“Oh baby, did I wake you?” he asked, throwing the controller down next to him on the sofa as he grabbed your hands in his. 

Gazing at you just in one of his old oversized shirts that was much too big for you. 

You shook your head no. “You didn’t wake me. Just woke up as you weren’t with me.” You murmured coyly.

He looked heartbroken at the notion even in your sleeping state you could feel when he wasn’t there. Thus reminding him of all the times you must have felt this before, while he was away. He pulled you round to the front of the sofa and pulled you to him; legs straddling his own as he enveloped you in his strong, loving arms. You breathed in his scent contentedly. Scent of Aloe and clean sheets. You hummed non committedly as you moved up and down with his breathing. 

“I’m nearly finished this level pickle, okay?” he murmured into your hair before planting a kiss to your ear. 

“Then we’ll go to bed.” He planted another kiss to your hair as he picked up the controller after you agreed. 

The game un-paused as you sat there with tired eyes staring at the loose thread on the neckline of his expensive shirt. You chuckled at the notion. Money didn’t mean anything to him; neither did it mean anything to you. Owning things and lavish gifts were never something you did in your relationship. Always one to dedicate days to each other on special occasions. Birthdays were never planned. Always spontaneous and always the birthday boy or girls choice. Jeongguk was an enigma when It came to birthday plans you quickly came to realise. 

The last 2 birthdays of his spent in completely different ways. The first being taken to a large theme park, complete with rollercoasters and the like. endless laughs and taunts to each other (mostly you) as your boyfriend was quite the daredevil, whereas you were more, shall we say, cautious? Valuing of your safety? The latest birthday spent glued to one another between sheets. Your boyfriend was rampant and driven that day. Only leaving the bedroom for snacks. Even when showering he insisted you do it together. It was ‘The Birthday Boy’s Wish’. Your birthday’s were different. Wanting either to do nothing, lounging about the house watching movies or doing everything you could in one day. 

Your first Christmas with him was sweet. You had met his family and you had travelled with him to meet yours back home. His family were loving and welcoming, something you were nervous of; not being accepted. But they saw the way their son looked at you and anything else that may have mattered, faded into the background when they saw him completely smitten for you. He was kind and chivalrous. Complimenting your mothers cooking and engaging in otherwise boring conversation with your father. Adorned in ugly Christmas sweaters as you joked over steaming hot chocolate. 

The last Christmas you had spent together had been spent with the boys, but mostly spent settling into the house you had moved in together; making it your own. Moving in and decorating the house for Christmas at the same time made it feel like no end, but your boyfriend always found a way to make it interesting. Lights from Christmas trees tied around wrists as he would kiss every inch of your skin. No mistletoe in sight as he would devour you on the living room floor. Never getting to finish those decorations until the next day. What? You were otherwise occupied…

Sat there on his lap in the living room, hearing the faint humming of the tv behind you and his breathing, calming you as you could feel his heartbeat against your own. You would occasionally pepper a kiss along his neck while he played; sometimes causing him to shiver and then you giggle. He would grin down at you and shuffle in his seat slightly as his eyes were still trained on the screen. His arms still cradling you as his hands continued to berate the controller in the hopes it may let him win. To no avail. He would sigh and groan, as he would respawn after falling or being killed. You would look up to him; eyes sparkling as you tried not to laugh. He would roll his eyes with a scoff before he continued playing. 

it was getting later and later and he still couldn’t finish the level, giving him positive reassurance that he could do it he tried once more, but alas. Maybe he was getting tired. He decided to save his progress and switch off the game. You sat up, confused. 

“I thought you said you wanted to finish the level?” You questioned; head tilted to the side. 

He laughed again, cupping your cheeks in his hands before pulling you forward and planting a kiss to your forehead. “I’m getting tired and I’m ready for bed.” 

So without further ado, he got up from the sofa, you still cradled around him like a koala as his hands held your thighs, shuffling you up his torso so you wouldn’t slip. Arms soon returning to surround your waist. He climbed the stairs with ease, you trying to contain your giggles for no reason as he laughed himself, finding you finding him funny, hilarious. Suddenly enveloped in darkness as you entered your room, finding your bed in no time. Lots of practice, clambering into bed without turning on the lights. He threw you down on the bed after switching on the lamp on your bedside. Revelling in the way you would bounce at the impact of your springy mattress. 

You would shuffle under the covers and look up at him expectantly, before he ventured to the bathroom to clean his teeth. Finding peace in the low noise of your boyfriend brushing his teeth in the bathroom down the hall. Staring up at the ceiling, alight in intricate patterns from the lampshade you insisted on buying when you moved in. you had dragged your boyfriend round an old antiques store, looking for something different. Something you. You had come across and old copper and beaded lampshade as you grinned at your boyfriend. he was sworn against it but couldn’t stop what you spent your money on. You set it up that night and was fascinated by the patterns it made against the blank canvas of the ceiling. 

“You’re right baby. It is very you, and I love you.” Jeongguk whispered into the night of your bare room, only a bed and lamp inside until the rest of your furniture was delivered. 

Smiling at the memory. So many happy moments and also so many sad. You remembered all the times you would gaze up at the ceiling; seeing the patterns and being reminded by him. On the other side of the world. You wouldn’t turn the lamp on hardly ever while he was away on tour. Nudged by the unwelcome thoughts that he wasn’t here to sleep beside you. To hold you, tell you everything was going to be okay. you would cry yourself to sleep some nights, after you had finished your video calls with him. The lamp gathering dust, until he would come home again. 

Pulled out of your reverie by the padding of bare feet on wooden flooring, your boyfriend re-entered, showing a sparkling bunny tooth grin. He closed the door behind him and plodded over to his side of the bed, pulled back the covers to be greeted by your form, still swallowed in his large shirt. He smiled before crawling into bed and pulling the covers over you both again. Scooting closer to you as he tried to place his cold feet on your own and you squealed; legs kicking about within the sheets. 

“Shhhh.” He whispered, laughing as he cupped your cheeks, pulling you closer to him. 

He planted his lips on yours, tenderly as his fingers ran through your hair. “God, you’re gorgeous.” He mumbled, thumb caressing your now rosy cheeks. Gazing into your eyes as they looked back at him, big and bold. Eyes he could get lost in. lips. God, your lips. He could get into so much trouble over your lips. Finding them irresistible and difficult to leave alone when they would linger so brazenly against his own when you would kiss. 

He planted his lips on your again for a moment before he pulled away, lips a hairs breath from your own. “I love you.”

"Love you too." You murmured sleepily.

He settled on his back with a sigh, gazing up at the ceiling, a faint smile on his lips. Seeing the patterns as you did, out of that godforsaken lampshade you were desperate to get back when you first moved in with one another. Not wanting for anything else in the world apart from this lampshade. He couldn’t ever say no to you, enamoured by your strength and individuality you had seemed to grasp at a young age, whereas that had been something he had struggled with for most of his teen years into early adult life. 

Glancing up at the ceiling he was also reminded by lonely nights in his hotel room, after shows. Between shows. Between travelling. Just staring up at boring white that would burn at his retinas unlike anything he had ever known, used to and comforted by the patterns that would occasionally dance upon the ceiling back at home. Back at home with you. There were so many times he would toss and turn, trying to grasp at sleep but watching it dissipate into the air just out of his reach, like a ghost. Only comforted by thoughts of you and counting down the days until he would see your face again. Watch you stumble. Watch you dance. Watch you linger. Sleep in his arms, the only solace he had ever known. Holding you while the rest of the world drifted into nothingness. 

“I’m so glad I’m home baby.” He whispered, unsure if you were asleep or not. 

Glancing your way for a moment to see half lidded eyes looking at him. He felt as if his heart would burst with love for you. 

“Glad you are, too.” You hummed.

He brought his arm under the pillows you slept on, under your shoulders and scooped you up closer to him. Your head now resting in the crook of his shoulder as your hand was across his chest, rising and falling with his breaths. 

“You know, I couldn’t sleep on tour, without this stupid light on the ceiling.” He chuckled.

To which you opened your sleepy eyes with an amused smile. 

“I couldn’t sleep without you.” You whispered into his shirt, he seemed to hear. 

“is that why you came to find me?” 

You nodded. “I thought you’d fall asleep on the sofa.” 

His chest rose with a stifled scoff. “wanna know the reason I couldn’t sleep without this stupid light?” 

You gazed up at him with all the wonder in the world. Anything in his life could never compare to this.

“Because this light was at home with you, where I wanted to be.” 

He kissed your forehead repeatedly pressing kisses against your skin and your hairline.

“So you couldn’t sleep without me, too?” you asked, holding onto a yawn as you felt sleep take you. 

“You know I can’t sleep without you.”

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Mac 🧡💜