#every single time i go through this i'm like...why don't i just get a PERMANENT JOB so i don't have to do this again!!!!!!!!

[tomatoluvr69]

goddddddddd why does the job application process force you to sound as egoistical as donald fucking trump likeeee there has never been a more qualified candidate in the history of the planet. I am the best there's ever been unlike those other burnouts and losers. no one is smarter. no one is a harder worker. i am in fact THE VERY BEST. hire me

[rene-darling]

TAKING- advantage of the strongest

He's been having a hard time lately, he's lost Suguru, his one and only, of course- you on the other hand are overjoyed at that fact.

It's annoying, after all, you've done for him, he calls out his name instead of yours, it's time you taught him a permanent lesson on manners.

P.s I TOLD YOU ITS NEVER GOJOVERRR RAHHH- [credits- __3aem on insta]

Also, follow my insta r3xni3 n text me, let's talk, im bored!!

...gojo Satoru...

Seeing Gojo with his head in his hands sitting at the edge of the school stairs wasn't a new sight for you, in fact for the past week you've been seeing him sitting there.

Crying, sobbing, or simply sitting in misery. He's always thinking of that damned suguru. Honestly, it was hard to get him to show you any affection with suguru around, and now that he's gone it's gotten even harder!

It's not that you hate suguru, you just love gojo, and seeing your gojo in pain annoys you, but. It also makes for the perfect opportunity to shove yourself in his life, when he's most vulnerable and make him rely on you

"what up 'toru?" Sitting down next to him gently touching his shoulder, you can't be too forward now. "..mhm, it's nothing." Hmm, well you knew it wouldn't be that easy, of course he wouldn't open up to you just yet! So you'll just keep trying- "come on satoru, this isn't like you, you're the strongest-"

"Can you leave? I'm not in the mood y/n." Running his hands through his hair he groaned as he hid his face. You got up without a word, it's fine, if he pushes you away you have many more ways to push back harder.

The continuing weeks during classes you would always make small talk, distracting his mind from geto. Then you'd buy him sweets saying that there was some buy one get one free offer, which is why you had brought one over for him there wasn't

You occupied him on the missions he'd usually go to alone, keeping him from feeling lonely. No matter how hard they were and no matter how much strain they put your body through you'd reassure him, you're fine!

He'd notice how you'd push yourself for him, it made him- feel. Feel something other than the constant sorrow due to Geto's absence.

He started reciprocating your 'kindness'. he would let you rest your head on his lap after a stressful mission and sometimes..he'd rests his own head on yours.

Shoving yourself in his life to replace the sorrows he felt didn't only include platonic relations. Every once in a while, whenever the feelings of loss came back too harshly, all he wanted was to forget. Get lost in pleasure, in anything, just- just please make him forget.

His tears which usually stained his face due to sorrow, now stained his face due to mind-numbing pleasure, his body was yours for the destroying, just please, please make him forget. Even if just for tonight!

" 'toru, use your words now, tell me what you want, hm?" You moved your hand ever so slowly, it hurt. "Just- just please, touch me, ruin me, do whatever you want. I'm yours, yours all yours- Suguru please.

Hah- fuck. He's so lucky he's Gojo Satoru. your gojo Satoru. You can feel yourself growing numb as you let out an unhinged chuckle "Sure Satoru." You try pronouncing his name with that same softness, to replicate that tone of pure love and kindness geto had, but alas, you never truly get it right.

Still, it's close enough for him. as he whines, bucking into your hand. You have half the mind to leave him like this, writhing on the bed, but you never do. This isn't the first time, and certainly isn't the last. You're sure every single fucking time you've seen satoru he's called out his name,

But, as you gaze down at him and as he stares up at you with his pretty blue eyes which spill with tears by the second, you can't help it. Perhaps you pity him, or perhaps you simply don't care if he's using you as a means to an end, since in return, you get to be the one fucking him dumb. And not Suguru, 'cause he's dead. But that's beside the point.

Rocking his world as his vision blanks, eyes rolling back as sweat covers him. You don't mind the pain of when he bites into your shoulder, you don't mind the fact that Suguru's name slips out of him more than your (can be fake) cock

But, for some reason you just can't take it today. Something takes over you, you swear, as you grab harshly onto his neck, gasps leave his throat as he huffs for air. "Wh- Ah pl- EAse- hah."

"say my name." "Wha- AHh-" pressing your hand down harder you're sure it'll leave marks. "Y/n. Fucking say it you dumb bitch." Tears fall down from his cheeks and onto your hand but it only seems to egg you on "Ah- mhm y-y/n please?" As you let go gits of his coughs fill the air as his pink chest rises up and down for air

Suddenly he gasps once more as you push against his prostate, you're far too pleased with him saying your name to let him rest, even to catch his breath.

His cries ring in your ear as his hands scratch onto your skin, leaving deep bloody marks in their wake he stares up at you with his tear stained eyes, mumbling only your name for the rest of the night.

You hope he's learned his lesson, and if not. You wouldn't mind teaching him another one.

[barcaatthemoon]

changes || mapi leon x reader ||

the natural changes in your relationship with mapi.

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.

mapi could tell that something was up. the locker room was a weird mix of tense and seemingly excited. there were rumors of new signees, but mapi hadn't had time to look at them. however, when she arrived at her locker to see a jersey sitting next to it with your last name on it, she realized what was going on.

"are you fucking kidding me?" mapi turned to alexia, as if the woman had personally sought you out to sign. alexia tried to ignore mapi, but the brunette's glare was too much to ignore. "her?"

"she's good, and we could use the extra help on the field with jenni leaving," alexia reasoned. mapi huffed as she hurriedly changed into her kit to get out onto the field. the less time that she had to see you, the better. if mapi was ever to have an enemy, it would have been you.

she knew that there wasn't really a good reason for the two of you to hate each other, but it had been that way for years. whether it be through playing internationally or in your clubs, you and mapi had always clashed on the field together. she knew that alexia was hoping that things would be different with the two of you on the same team, but mapi knew better.

"what is the deal with her?" ona asked as she glanced over to where mapi was glaring at you. everybody knew about you, but they didn't really know you personally. this was a brand new club to you, and you were going to keep your distance because surely these girls were all already mapi's friends.

you didn't understand the rivalry between the two of you. it had started back in international youth teams, and spiraled since then. emotions had run high for you back then, and in the year since, you had mellowed out a bit. many girls who you had once played against were now your friends, with the exception of maria.

maria seemed to hold onto the resentment from your youth. for you, it all stemmed in a single game. it was your chance to show how good you really were, and mapi had shut every single one of your attempts down. you knew how that it was just her having you marked, and that it wasn't personal, but back then it felt personal.

"go away ona, i don't want to talk about it," mapi practically growled. she was much closer to snapping with you around, and it was something that ona realized they'd all have to get used to. ona just hoped that it wasn't going to be a permanent change in attitude.

…

"fuck, come on!" you shouted as you rubbed your thigh. you thought that you were alone in the training room, so when you heard footsteps, you jumped. you looked around the room, surprised to see mapi limping around with an ice pack on her knee. "oh, it's you."

"don't sound too happy," mapi muttered. your face fell, unsure of why she was still being so mean to you. the two of you barely ever interacted during practice, but today had been put on the same team for the 5-v-5. mapi had played things a little high for a couple of the drills, which meant she had gotten you some great passes. if it wasn't for the bad blood between the two of you, there would be a lot of potential for a team up.

"what's wrong with your knee?" you can't help but ask. it's not that difficult to tell yourself that it's just because you're teammates. there was no way that you cared about mapi outside of the pitch. it wasn't like you had been catching yourself thinking of her randomly throughout the day or anything.

"pina, she jumped on my back and my knee buckled. it's no big deal. what's wrong with you?" mapi didn't hide the concern in her voice. you had hobbled away early during practice, and mapi knew you better than to think it was just to get out of drills. they had been ready to start your favorite one of practice when you left.

"it's an old injury that acts up sometimes. i'm good though, barcelona didn't waste their money signing me," you reassured her. mapi's face fell, wondering if that was how you thought she felt about you. truthfully, she hadn't been happy to learn that you came all the way here, but she respected you as a player. mapi knew firsthand how good you were, more often than not having been a thorn in her side when the opportunity arose.

"do you need ice or something?" mapi asked. you shook your head. icing your leg hadn't helped it at all. the tapes would help for a bit, but you needed something more. mapi tilted her head as she watched you try to rub your discomfort out. it was risky, but she stood up and stood in front of you.

"what are you doing?" you asked as you watched mapi move your hand away. hers replaced yours, working through the knots much better than you had been able to. "mapi-,"

"don't mention it, please," mapi said quietly. you nodded and closed your eyes as you leaned back against the bench. mapi was grateful for your eyes being squeezed shut because it allowed for her eyes to roam over your body. things seemed to be just fine between the two of you until her fingers pressed a little higher up than she meant to, pulling a very breathy sigh from your lips. "lo siento."

"don't mention it," you told her. mapi noticed the way that your voice shook like you were barely holding it together. it wasn't the first time that you had crossed her mind, but it definitely was the first time that she had ever really thought about putting her hands on you like this.

…

there's a definite shift in your relationship with mapi over the next couple of weeks. the two of you aren't exactly clambering to spend time together outside of training, but everybody could tell that something had changed. you opened up more to your teammates, no longer afraid that they'd all follow maria's lead and decide to hate you.

"hola maria," you greeted happily as you sat down across from the woman. she furrowed her brows as she looked at you, a slight pout on her lips. "it's rude not to say it back."

"don't call me maria, it makes me feel like i'm in trouble," she said.

"that's your name though," you said. she got up and stood in front of you, encroaching on your personal space. "what am i supposed to call you then?"

"mapi." she grabbed onto your chin and tilted your head up so that you were looking at her. there had been a weird bit of tension building up between the two of you that everybody was waiting to come to head. alexia seemed to watch the two of you with a particular closeness, occasionally with a look of disbelief on her face.

"fine. hola, mapi," you corrected. mapi smiled down at you, leaning in almost close enough to kiss you.

"hola, (y/n). are you coming out tonight? the girls want to go dancing." the invitation had been extended to you in the parking lot, but you hadn't accepted it just yet. you knew that tomorrow was a recovery day, but you also knew that meant twice the amount of drinks as normal. the spanish girls could handle their liqour a lot better than you could, having spent most of your adult life not drinking much.

"promise to keep an eye on me and make sure i don't drink too much?" you asked her. mapi nodded, smiling as she let go of your head. the two of you paired up for some of the drills during practice, something that had become fairly normal. after practice, mapi walked you out to your car, promising to pick you up whenever it was time to go out.

…

the club was absolutely packed, and you hated it. somehow, the entire team had been talked into going, which meant you knew a good amount of the people there, but it was still far too crowded for your liking. that was why you had sat down in a booth across from alexia and refused to move no matter what.

"are the two of you having fun?" you and alexia both glanced over to jenni, who looked disappointed. mapi and leila were right next to her, both of them looking at the two of you expectantly. "come on, it won't kill you to dance with us."

"it might, you don't know that it won't," alexia shot back quickly. you smirked as you watched jenni's face harden a bit. there wasn't a doubt in your mind that alexia would be in for it whenever they got home. jenni didn't like to brag about the things that she got up to with alexia in their bedroom, but the two of you had a habit of chatting in the gym.

"well, if you die, i'll just give you cpr," jenni said as she tugged alexia out of her seat. leila followed the two of them, trailing close behind jenni. that left you and mapi to stand there and stare at each other.

"come on, if ale can get up, so can you," mapi said. she was much more gentle in getting you onto your feet. she also seemed to be content to wait until a slower song started to get you out there.

you didn't fight with mapi as the two of you swayed to the beat of the music. her hands fell onto your hips as she pressed herself up against you. you welcomed the warmth of her body, not having realized how long it had been since someone touched you like this. your mind quickly went elsewhere, but when you felt the press of mapi's lips against the side of your neck, you realized that maybe she wanted this too.

"kiss me," you said as you turned around. you knew that mapi couldn't hear you, but she could read your lips well enough to know what you wanted. and even if she couldn't, you weren't being subtle at all. your eyes hadn't left her lips, not until she was leaning in. excitedly, you surged forward and closed the gap between the two of you.

mapi's lips were soft, a contrast to the way that her teeth nipped at your lip. you let out a little yelp, one that had mapi laughing as she held you in her arms. you swallowed as you looked at her before nodding towards the door. she nodded, and the two of you left the club wordlessly.

"my place or yours?" you asked mapi. she got into the passenger's seat of her own car, having given you her keys after her second drink. you were pretty sure that she hadn't drank much more after that, but in your mind, it was always better safe than sorry.

"yours. i have never been there before," mapi answered. you started her car, jumping a little as the engine roared to life. mapi laughed at that, placing her hand on your thigh to calm you down a bit. she knew that her car could be a bit much for someone driving it for the first time, but she trusted you. you had proven yourself to be one of the very responsible members of the team, especially tonight when everybody else had chosen to get nearly blackout drunk with a few expections.

mapi seemed surprised to see where your apartment was. you had truly gotten a good location, extremely close to the training grounds and nearby several restaurants and stores. mapi was a bit jealous, even if she did like her apartment. it was close by alexia and jenni's, so she could always go annoy them whenever she felt like it.

"it's a bit messy. i had a hard time finding something to wear tonight," you warned her. mapi didn't seem to care. her eyes dropped down to your outfit, appreciatively checking you out once again. it had been hard to keep her eyes off of you earlier in the night, and she was beyond relieved whenever you hadn't pushed her away on the dance floor.

"with how good you look, we'll be lucky to make it to your bedroom," mapi told you. you clenched your thighs together as you unlocked your door. once the two of you were inside, mapi pulled you in for another kiss. this one was firm without being rough. mapi established her control very early on, but you had expected as much.

you kicked your heels off before jumping up into mapi's arms. she carried you down the little hallway, stopping momentarily to press you against the wall to kiss you a little harder. you moaned into that kiss, grinding your hips against her just a little. mapi could already feel the heat coming off of your core, and she realized that she couldn't wait to have you.

"bedroom?" mapi asked. you pointed at the door at the end of the hallway. mapi pulled you away from the wall and walked you right over there. she set you down just long enough to let you move the dresses and clothes scattered about on your bed. you turned around to see her half-naked in front of you. "like what you see?"

"fuck yes," you breathed out. mapi smirked as she moved towards you. your hands immediately flew down to touch her stomach, fingers running along the taunt and toned muscle of her abdomen. mapi's head dropped down to rest on your shoulder, breathing heavily as your hands moved along her body.

"touch me." mapi guided your hands down between her legs. you were surprised, having assumed that she wouldn't have let you in so quickly. you had heard the way mapi talked about having sex with the girls she had picked up before, and it had all sounded very one-sided. although, you supposed that her letting you touch you like this was even more exciting because you did't expect it.

your fingers were met with skin made slick from arousal. mapi was panting in your ear as your fingers teasingly stroked between her lips. mapi bucked her hips forward as your fingers approached her clit. mapi's hands grabbed onto your shoulders for support as she tilted her hips just enough for your fingers to wind up at her entrance.

"one at a time," mapi told you. she sounded desperate, so you let one of your fingers slip inside of her. mapi hiked her leg up as she bucked her hips to try and ride your finger. you quickly lifted her with your other arm, pulling both of you back onto the mattress.

mapi stayed on top of you, riding your finger as you tried to comfortably adjust yourself beneath her. you could tell whenever the one finger wasn't quite enough for mapi, and slowly added a second. once again, you were patient as mapi set the pace that she wanted. you matched her thrust for thrust, not daring to go faster than what she was.

"please, i need more. i'm so close," mapi begged you. she was a lot more prone to whining than you had originally thought, but it didn't bother you one bit. you liked the vulnerability that mapi was willing to show to you, especially considering how volatile your relationship had been in the beginning.

"do you want another finger?" you asked. mapi shook her head, and suddenly, you realized what she needed. you dropped your other hand from her hip down between her legs, allowing for your fingers to brush against her clit. you felt a surge of wetness along with the first spasm of her cunt around your fingers. the next few came in controlled little waves, matching the rhythm set by the fingers against her clit. there was only so long that she could hold off on cumming, and once she had let you, you felt her body tense up around you.

mapi lifted herself off of your fingers before settling down in between your legs. she placed her hands on your waist and bunched them around your dress. you lifted your hips up off of the bed, allowing for the bottom of your dress to move up around your waist. mapi licked her lips as she looked straight ahead to be met with the sight of your definitely ruined underwear.

"i can't wait to taste you," mapi said as she leaned in. your breath hitched as you felt hers ghost across the insides of your thighs. it wasn't fair to see her so composed immediately after an orgasm. you felt like a wreck, turned on and no longer distracted with something interesting to focus on. you were left to lay there and think about how uncomfortable the now-sticky fabric of your underwear felt.

"please hurry," you whined. mapi hooked her fingers around your underwear and pulled them down slowly. she gave a quick teasing little lick between your lips, moaning in pleasure at the taste of you.

"so sweet, i could spend all night licking up every drop." the thickness of mapi's accent made you want to clench your thighs, but her hands kept them apart. she kept you spread open as she took her time to admire you. it was touching her that had gotten you so worked up, and once the two of you were finished, mapi planned on being insufferable about it.

"just please, i want to cum so badly." you looked at mapi with a pout. she bit her lip as she pushed her finger against your entrance. "two, not just one. i need to be fucked, mapi, fucked."

she gave you a quick nod and pushed another finger inside of you without hesitation. her fingers moved at a quick pace, nearly fucking the breath out of you. you threaded your fingers in her hair and pulled her head forward, directing her so that her mouth was on your clit. mapi didn't need instruction past that.

her tongue worked magic on your clit, moving with fluidity and precision. your hips were bucking wildly as you ground yourself against mapi's face. she let you push yourself closer and closer towards an orgasm until you were on the edge of it. that was when she wrapped both of her arms around your hips, keeping you still so that she could truly control when you came.

you hadn't meant to scream her name out at the top of your lungs, but it had still happened. mapi relished in the sound of it echoing off of your bedroom walls. your neighbors would be pissed, but you'd apologize later on, if you could even face them again. mapi liked the sound of her name spilling from your lips that she didn't stop there. you were physically pushing her off of your body to get her to give you a break, and even then, she was looking at you as she "patiently" waited for another turn.

"in the morning," you promised. mapi pouted as she settled in the bed next to you.

"that is so far away," mapi whined. you rolled your eyes at her as you pulled her in for a kiss. "just one more?"

"no, it's late, and i'd like to actually get some rest now. god, you're so needy, maria," you teased. mapi's brows furrowed as she stared at you, obviously not happy with the use of her full name.

"well, now you owe me one in the morning," mapi told you. you laughed it off, already having planned on having sex with her again in the morning. you knew that the two of you had opened up a can of worms, one that you'd be exploring for at least a couple more weeks. you hoped that it would blossom into more, but you didn't want to push mapi for anything too serious when you'd only recently become friends.

[asleepinawell]

sorry if this seems a bit out of the blue, but ever since youve been posting about fallen london, im a bit curious about it! What is the game about and where can I get it?

oh no worries! I'm happy to ramble about it

fallen london is a free to play browser game you can find here. the basic premise is that sometime in the 1800's the entire city of london is engulfed in a swarm of bats and then falls through the earth into a cavern a mile below. this is the neath, a huge underground cavern where london sits on the shore of a vast ocean. queen victoria is still around locked in her palace being a typical shitty british monarch, who, amongst other things, decided that 1900 was cancelled and we were just going to have 1899 for a second time

things are a little...different down there. humans are far from the only ones running around. there's devils, rubbery men (think mind flayer vibes), clay men, and the shadowy cloaked figures running the bazaar (and the city) called the masters. death mostly isn't permanent and the dream world is a little too real. also, most importantly, cats can talk! and there are tons of them! and tigers too

it's got victorian, gothic horror, dark humor, lovecraftian vibes. also it's extremely queer as is everything the dev, failbetter games, makes. something I especially appreciate is that you don't have to give your character any particular gender (though you can) and some of the little avatars are very gender neutral:

since it's free to play it comes with the normal things that type of game has such as real money transactions (completely optional and unnecessary for enjoyment (though some of the bonus side stories you can buy are extremely cool)), limited number of actions you can take (max of 20 at a time and refills 1 per 10 minutes). it is definitely grindy too though there's so many things to do (cannot emphasize the insane amount of content enough) I will usually just switch things up every so often

it's single player for the most part but you can ask friends to assist you in certain actions and there are some specific items that can be sent to other players

(if you like the setting but not the free to play part you can check out mask of the rose which is a visual novel they just released set right after london fell. it's a romance but with full aro and ace options (which I actually preferred) and a murder mystery. that one is a normal just buy the whole game deal and I think it's on most platforms. there's also sunless seas and sunless skies which take place in the same world but are a very different type of game and would require their own post. all of these have great writing in them)

but back to fallen london. it works based off of 'storylets', or little short stories when you usually do a skill check to accomplish something in return for advancing the story, levelling your skills, and reward items. you unlock more and more things as you go and get access to new stories and areas. here's an example of one of the little activities and its resolution

since it's a game designed to be able to play endlessly there isn't really a way to lose or game over. you can die but dying is just a minigame of its own and sometimes even a thing to do purposefully. (the only actual way to die is the notorious story called seeking mr eaten's name which you may have seen me post about, which is a very unique story that will permanently erase your character at the end. why you'd ever want to do that would also be its own post. it's pretty hard to stumble on accidentally I think and extremely well-marked as a thing with severe consequences that you probably shouldn't do. or should you...)

anyway I'd definitely recommend giving fallen london a try if you're interested in the premise and aesthetic

[bomberqueen17]

Loftus Bralette Construction #2: completion!

yah so i finished the bra and tried it on and it was more comfortable than the RTW bra I'd been wearing so I just left it on the rest of the day, LOL.

But anyway I'll detail the rest of the sewing of it, and what I've learned and what I plan to do next.

[image description: a bent sewing needle, held between my fingers]

So the first thing I learned is that sewing through the many layers where the bra cup is attached to the band is enough that it'll snag on the feed dogs and if you try to pull it through you'll bend your needle. Had to yank out the entire bobbin raceway/case assemblage to free the bent needle so I could get it out and retrieve the in-progress bra, and then reinserting the whole bobbin assembly took forever to get right. So, don't recommend.

A bit later I shattered another needle when I misjudged how much of the metal eye there was underneath the fabric of the preassembled hook-and-eye closure I was inserting. They only came in a pack of 5 so maybe I need to order more microtex needles....

I wear glasses, but if I didn't, I wouldn't wear goggles to sew but I'd know I should, LOL.

Anyway. Bra sewing is not for the faint of machine. I am using an old mechanical Kenmore that fears nothing. I can't set the stitch width very easily, but that's the only downside I can find.

Attaching the band was wildly confusing. I'd watched the sewalong and it had seemed straightforward enough, but the written directions were baffling. They wanted you to pin... the center in place... from the top... then turn the entire bra and pin from? the other side? what?

I tried to follow the directions, failed entirely to get the thing on, and had to retreat upstairs to seam-rip and rewatch the sewalong.

She has you pin the center, then sew the waistband V to one side of the center gore, then sew it to the other side of the center gore, then pin the rest in place and sew the rest. And that worked. That is not what the written instructions say to do. I'm still not sure what the written instructions say to do. I could not decipher them in any way at all. (By "turn" do they mean like, fold the thing to get at it from the other side? or do they mean like, rotate the whole assemblage, to work on the same surface but from a different angle? what the fuck.)

But I did manage to get the band attached, in the end!

[image description: a pink bra with a black, inverted-v elastic waistband lying atop a sewing machine.]

i then had to attach the straps, and as I was doing it I was like "this is dumb I should make them shorter every bra ever has had straps too long for me" and I remembered someone asking "why put adjustable straps on a homemade bra you're making to measure" and the pattern designer or someone answering "because the elastic might stretch over time" but i'm here to tell you a little secret, those elastic sliders never fucking stay where i put them, every single bra i own the first thing i do when i get it is adjust those sliders as short as they go, and that's the first thing i do every time i put that bra on for its entire life, and it is still never short enough and sometimes i have altered RTW bras to remove the sliders and make the straps permanently shorter. But I was like "no they wrote the pattern like this for a reason i'll do it" and then. I got the straps on. And got the hook and eye closure installed. And I put the bra on.

And the straps are way too fucking long, like minimum three inches too long, and won't stay adjusted shorter and even at the shortest adjustment are too long.

So score 1 for whoever was like "putting adjustable elastic on a made to measure garment is silly", they were one hundred percent right. I have picked /cut the elastic back off and am going to just sew some on at a fixed length about three inches shorter than the pattern as written. I was completely wrong: i do not need or want adjustable straps. If the elastic stretches out over the lifetime of the garment, I will unpick it and sew it again shorter. The sliders never work and I don't know why I bought in to the propaganda that they would when I know better.

Anyway: making this not-rebloggable because I'm going to include a photo of the garment on, and I don't need that to be rebloggable. It can just stay in its original context here. Not that it's racy. But:

[image description: a size 38J non-wired bra, pale pink with peach elastic and a black waistband, worn by a torso that fills it out pretty well, with just a few wrinkles in the center gore and arms raised out of frame.]

The high center gore doesn't suit me, so I'll do the next one at the lower line option. The lack of pressing the seams shows; the seams are blocky and my boobs have low-poly corners, LOL. The Sharpie marks are funny everywhere. And I could stand to have less volume at the bottom of the cups so my boobs fill out the tops of the cups a little better, somehow. Not sure how to alter that.

But what I've done is I've since cut out a second one, using the nice kit I bought, and first I very carefully shaved down the edges of the paper pattern pieces, which i had cut out with my usual not super high level of care. But these pieces need to be very precise, and the seam allowances-- well, drawing the sew line on was good as an idea but in practice I missed it much of the time when I was actually sewing, because I couldn't see it or the fabric slid or various other reasons. What I need to do is use a seam guide to make sure I'm really sewing at the full 1/4" seam allowance, which I rather often wasn't. And that means there's a little extra space in this bra that I don't need.

But the fit is not bad really!!! so I'm going to go ahead and make my next one in the same size, and make it nicely, with all new notions and shit that matches, and doing all of the finish-as-you-go shit, the topstitching and the pressing and whatnot. And then we'll see how that one fits, and maybe refine things from there.

I got no cat photo for the finale here because I turned the a/c on today and the cat has retreated to the attic, which is not air conditioned, so she can sleep in the desert heat, which she prefers. (No we don't live in a desert but she likes to pretend.)

[yukikorogashi]

I don't really wanna put this permanently on my rules, but I think I need to mention why I'm as slow as I am, and why I'm just unable to speak for several days:

While I already mention that I work nearly every single day as well as get ill easily, I also live with and support my two parents who unfortunately can be really abusive (And insane) to me on most days... I do love them at the end of the day... but the things they put me through for years now have really reduced me to this exhausted, broken mess.

Examples include locking me out of the house, nearly disowning me on my birthday and causing me my first panic attack ever when I said I wanted to do something different for my birthday (And this pissed my mother off to try and paint me as a horrible daughter to EVERYONE on Facebook and our family group chat lol), prevented me from going to therapy the moment they thought I was going to do nothing but blame them, threatened me for not making NFTs (To earn those big bucks, ya know) for them by saying they would kill themselves, are in complete denial of me being bisexual (I never fully opened up about that, but any light mention I made of likely liking girls? Made them laugh or snap), and ofc telling me several times that I'm a failure, a mentally unstable shut-in, and that no one loves me or ever will.

... So, uh... yes, thank you so much for understanding, for how often I fall into really, really bad depressive episodes.

Like... even when I so SO BADLY want to write, to do things, to create, to discuss things with people... suddenly it just... hits me... and all I can do is lie down and... hide. So again, just thank you for waiting for me...

[wuahae]

✶ seventeen, after it all ends.

post-breakup hcs, ft. hip hop unit

-> performance | vocal

the phone rings at 2AM, and seungcheol immediately knows it's you. it's becoming all too familiar, he laments distantly—the neon numbers blinking on his bedside, the three rings he lets pass before inevitably answering on the fourth, the voice that greets him on the other end of the line. ("hi, cheol," you utter quietly, and it's like he's back at the starting line, still gathering up the courage to tear himself away.) he wants to blame his lack of resilience on the hour, the repeatedly promised 'one last time,' but seungcheol knows he ends up here every single time because he would rather you cry with him than alone. he's not anything to you anymore, seungcheol tells himself, but he can taste the lie before it even forms on his tongue, the way it tangles itself between late night calls and quiet words and—("i'm sorry, cheol," the nickname feels like a mottled bruise, a confession tumbling soon after. like defeat in the admittance. "i didn't know who else to call." you always sound so hurt when seungcheol hears you speak; he wonders if it's his fault.) seungcheol knows better than anyone that he can't keep doing this with you, that it's unhealthy and you both need to move on, that he can't keep letting things linger as a pitiful attempt to ease his guilt, but old habits die hard; seungcheol wonders if this is just becoming another.

wonwoo finds an old note you'd written a week after, tucked away into a borrowed book you'd forgotten to take back. it wasn't anything special or profound, just a little bookmark put for a future-him to find, "this made me think of you," scrawled on the sides and in the margins and page numbers for passages you thought he would like. the annotations speak in a language all by themselves, care crafted into each word, each stroke, and somehow, he sees you in it all. (how had you put it again? like it was memories permanently inked into paper, a version of yourself you could always come back to.) they say that to love is to lose, and that grief is just love with no place left to go, but wonwoo can't seem to care about the accuracy of poetry and prose when he is still mourning of someone lost to him forever. ("don't be a stranger," you had reminded him softly, the day you left, but you both knew it was all wishful thinking than an actual promise. in the end it would all be the same— a forced blank slate, a version of himself grappling with a soul still shaped like you.) wonwoo supposes it's a little too late to feign ignorance and give the book back to you, lovenote tucked back in; it would be cruel for him to insist on making you revisit a past scratched and scribbled and thrown away. he runs a hand over the paper, ink under skin, heart in throat, and closes the book. even if he came back it would never, ever be the same.

mingyu can't hear anything over the roaring of his ears. he can't remember much from the night either, something about his lost phone he probably left on the uber here, fumbling favors from a nearby stranger, something else distant and fuzzy that lead him to sitting on the curb outside waiting for—"mingyu." (oh. it's you.) your voice strikes clean through the fog, but mingyu only manages to utter your name; the muffled bass playing from inside the bar still thrums in his bones. you sigh quietly, taking a seat next to him, arms touching. (it burns, the forgotten familiarity. "let's get you home, okay?" you nudge gently, and mingyu has to remember that home doesn't mean the same thing to you anymore.) it isn't until you're parked outside of his apartment that you ask the burning question ("why did you call me?") and he answers truthfully ("your number was the only one i remembered."). your eyes flicker with the confession and he almost wants to take it back, his secrets displayed raw, but hidden truths already start to spill out of mingyu's mouth, things he's been wanting to say for months. (i'm sorry," he ends up saying, eventually. "i really loved you, you know?" he thinks he still does.) some would call it drunken courage but mingyu thinks it's just his sober cowardice instead. maybe if he had said it when it mattered, 'home' would still be you.

it's been two months, and vernon still hasn't figured out how to break the news. he practices it in his head more times than he can count, drafting and erasing and rewriting the right words to tell his family that you and him are over, but it all falls flat the minute he tries to get them past his lips. some days he gets close, the first few words spoken before his mom interrupts asking how you are; other days, the words die before they even have the chance to form, all amounting to a wooden tongue, a puff of empty air. his sister knows, vernon thinks, the way she shoots him a look half-pity half-judgement every time he tries to bring it up. maybe you were the one to tell her, or maybe she had just figured it out all by herself, but it comforts him, in a strange way—like he's not alone in his unintentionally kept secret. ("dad wants to know if you're able to come over for christmas," vernon tells you over the phone, and the line goes silent. vernon winces, already anticipating what comes after. "have you..." you start carefully, "...not told them?") a part of him wants to say that it's all a matter of luck and timing, that he just hasn't found the right time and he'll do it soon, he promises, but the rest of him knows that it's all just excuses. (vernon is scared, he thinks, still trying to stall the sinking feeling that there truly is no coming back after he tells his family. it feels more like admitting it to himself, carving it into stone, cementing it into the ground where his love lies buried.) vernon says that his biggest problem is figuring out how to break the news, but really, it's figuring out how to let you go.

[phaeton-flier]

So in the 90s there were a couple movies about how an office job is soul sucking and unfulfilling and you need to get out, unlike the vibe post-2008 about the difficulties of being poor and not having a job.

I occasionally see this idea that the difference is showing how much worse the economy's gotten, but I actually think the discrepancy is that for a brief period in the 90s, we let artists make movies about how much it sucks to not be an artist.

I cannot find the article again, but 15 years ago I read a Cracked piece about how every single Office Space-type movie was made by someone who was such an awful fit for office life that they ran away to Hollywood to make movies etc. instead. And that's thrice selected for: First, for being such an awful fit that running away to Hollywood was better, second, for that actually working out instead of leading to a lifetime of waiting tables, and third for being successful enough that you can make movies about dumb shit in your life like going through a divorce or how much it sucks to work a 9-5 office job*.

And it can suck! But most people find it to be tolerable, and just get their life satisfaction and meaning from stuff outside their workspace. They make art or have a softball league or write fanfiction or bake cookies or fall in love or listen to music, and the job is a varying pleasant to tedious thing they do 40 hours a week that nonetheless is not an existential crisis. Say what you will about The Office (US)**, but it spent a lot of time showing how every character found their meaning in life outside of Dunder-Mifflin, whether that was religion or love or Art; Michael failing to realize this was a Sign.

'*I will never stop hating on Office Space for acting like working in fucking construction is somehow a better deal than a office job. Absolute peak of privileged thinking. Talk to a few guys with permanent damage and explain to them why writing out weekly reports was worse.

'** Not the UK version, which falls exactly into the trap I'm talking about here and spends it runtime bitching about how the Office kills your soul. You're successful writers in the incestuous pit that is British Television, don't act like you're actually knowledgeable too

[xsaiya]

"everything's alright."

-tags: comforting! obanai x vitiligo! insecure! reader, angst fluff (mostly angst), hugs, re-assurance, suicidal thoughts (reader), mentions of sh, traumatizing flashback, reader has permanent scars on their face, platonic sanemi catches you trying to harm yourself, reader is known as the emotion hashira, daydreaming. (warning for triggers!)

-future work: uppermoon hc's + muzan (I PROMISE <3)

-plot: iguru had found you saying some bad shit abt yourself so he went to go talk with and comfort you. <3

-a/n: pls do not think bad abt yourself, or harm yourself. your perfect the way you are, there's no need to feel like shit abt yourself. <3 (pls do not steal my work as it is based on my own life)

-recommended song: cigarettes out the window - tv girl

life was hard, hard as fuck. you felt like everybody around your atmosphere hated you and wishes you'd just, well, die. thoughts ran through your head as you were balled up in a corner, grabbing fistful sizes of hair on the sides of your head, crying and sobbing, muttering bad shit abt yourself, like 'does he hate me? does he want me to die? should i even be alive right now?'. those thoughts ran through your head every single day and second, just no body noticed.

note being a hashira, that shit just adds another difficulty to your already fucked up life. your mind also had racing thoughts of your past, and what those bastards did.

(FLASHBACK STARTS NOW!)

huddled up in a corner while gripping the sides of your head, crying & trembling in fear as the tall, abusive figure stood right in front of you while kicking and hitting your already abused body. the man, also known as your dad, kept yelling things in your ears like 'your not my daughter! my daughter isn't a useless, annoying, ugly ass bitch!' as he continued to abuse you over and over again. and all you could do was tremble and cry in fear.

(FLASHBACK ENDS NOW!)

you just dug your head into your legs as you cried and cried, you had nobody, nobody at all, except for one person, the love of your life, obanai. he genuinely cared about you, checked to see if you were eating enough, drinking enough water, sleeping enough. all he did was worry & care abt you, which made you feel guilty, why did he care so much about you? aren't you supposed to be a worthless toy to throw around? not in his eyes.

but, from the corner of your eyes, you saw a blade, you just stared at it for continuous minutes and seconds before thoughts ran through your head. your heart told you 'don't do it, you'll regret it!' while your brain just said 'do it, fuck up your wrists, your worthless anyways.'

you reached out for the blade, grabbed it with a harsh grip, and pointed its sharp tip to your wrist while smiling and crying, still looking down. but before you could even think about doing such an act towards yourself, someone harshly grabbed your wrist, and threw the blade away from your intense grip.

"don't fucking do that shit." said sanemi, he was genuinely worried that you'd do such an act towards yourself if he didn't arrive in time.

"i-" you just stared at him, as if a staring contest occurred, but no, he was giving you that intense look of 'tell someone, talk to someone, get help.'

"you gotta get some help, yk what? i'm telling iguru, you need to get some help." those words replayed in your mind as if it were a track tape, you just sat on a couch near you, waiting for them to return, and they eventually did.

sanemi returned with a worried as fuck obanai. obanai rushed towards you, grabbed your wrist and inspected it thoroughly, asking questions, his anxiety boosted right through heaven's gates as he looked at you with a look of so much love & worry. this just made you cry, cried in appreciation & sadness, you actually for once felt like you could let it all loose around someone.

"hey, hey. it's alright, let it all out love," he hugged you so so tight

you sobbed and sobbed for hours and all he did was mutter sweet re-assurances in your ear as you berried your crying face into his welcoming shoulder.

"..everything's alright."

[spiegelgestalt]

I was looking through your re zero reblogs and a tag stood out to me. What do you mean you think Otto is a manifestation of Satella? I’m really intrigued by the concept

Ohh! Thank you for the question. So this is a pet theory of mine which is probably wrong but I find incredibly entertaining. Beware this is going to be long and rambley. The TL;DR is probably: the only person who is as obsessed with Subaru as Otto is, is Satella It tries to explain several things that I find weird about Otto (some of these things might be explained in the LN but Tappeis writing style doesn't click with me and so i'm really slow with reading them) :

a) Ottos sudden entry in Subarus story (and the fact that Subaru always meets him no matter what he does) the first time he meets Otto at a pub because Otto made a financial mistake and drank his sadness away. This one's fairly unsuspicious. The second time is stranger. Subaru is going back to the mansion alone in the darkness and meets Otto on the road. Not only that. Otto is standing near the light and waves. Like he was expecting him. Why? Does he do that often - wave to travelers who are just passing by? But the most suspicious entry is his last/permanent entry to the story - his getting saved from the witch cult. Why did the witch cult kidnapp him an no one else? Why did they plan to sacrifice him? Why wasn't he with the rest of the merchants? Suuuuus!!! This at least hints that Otto might have connections/significance to the witch cult

2) why does the whale eat him and not Subaru? Subaru should have smelled tastier so why did it chose Otto? Maybe because Otto smelled of the witch? And if Otto knew that the Mabeast would go after him it would paint his pushing Subaru of the cart in a different light.

3) he's not in roswaals gospel which even has Subaru in it. How/why? Is it really just because he's so insignificant?

So these things make Otto suspicious but they don't link him to Satella necessarily. So here comes my reason for that

3) Otto's behavior in Season 2 don't make sense. Not only is he ride or die for Subaru very very fast while the other is basically nothing but rude to him. He explains this with Subaru saving him but technically that were the iron fang people and Otto isn't thankful to them at all. And even if that were the case - why is Otto so sure that Subaru needs help? As far as I remember he offers Subaru help in every single time loop, even in the ones where Subaru still believes himself to be on top of things (and shouldn't send sadboy pleas help me vibes)

4) And than there is the speech which will save Subaru. And I find it quite suspicious: a) this speech is suspiciously parallel to Satellas speech in the witches tea party it kinda feels like a continuation of it

b) Otto says that he understands that Subaru wants to be strong in front of the girl he likes and in front of the girl that likes him but he shouldn't have to be strong in front of his friend. So the girl Subaru likes is obv. Emilia but why talk about another girl who likes Subaru... who is that supposed to be? Otto doesn't know about Rem. Does he mean Emilia again? But why say it that strangely - or was he just covering his bases. IDK for me it kinda made sense as a Emilia/Satella distinction (or if Otto DOES know about Rem that makes him really suspicious again)

C) Otto takes it very personally that Subaru didn't ask HIM for help. But why should Subaru do that. He technically knows him for what, a few days?

D) Subaru notes that this kind of speech is usually reserved for the heroine (something he also mentioned about being summoned to another world and we know that was Satella - so is that the case here too?)

5) Otto has a lot of parallels to Subaru/Satella has a lot of parallels to Subaru

So all of this could hint to the fact that Otto is a time traveler and/or has some connection to one of the witches (either Pandora or Satella)

But I like my theory of Otto being a manifestation of Satella because it fits neatly into the theme of the parallels between Satella/ Subaru, it is something Satella would do, the thought that Satella sees Subaru dying over and over again and just says: okay have to do everything myself. If he won't accept help if I'm a woman I gotta go in as a guy is extremely funny to me, I believe that being kinda pathetic is an important property of being associated with envy AND Otto is next to Satella the person who most obsesses over Subaru and only Subaru

And Satella could rewrite history if she needed to (that would explain Otto's memories)

[jomeimei421]

hi do you have any more fic recs?? ive read everything you already recommended in the last post and i am Terrible at finding fics myself-

why yes indeed i do <(:]) spoilers for all of ORV under the cut! Here is a link to my other fic rec post for those who haven't seen it yet.

Mei's ORV Fic Recs 2: Electric Boogaloo

Looking for Yoo Joonghyuk by Je_te_veux

GEN, written for YJH's birthday. A canon compliant exploration of YJH's search to find the answers to who he is and what he should live for. Takes place during the epilogue. Again, JTV is a Chinese author so you will need to read their fics with material translation, but their writing is remarkable! I'm especially fond of the way they wrote YJH and Anna Croft, and also, I have a soft spot for things where YJH (who has had to carry the enormous burden of the Story for so long) finally gets to do some reading and writing of his own.

Love & Affection Do (Not) a Cat Make by featherx

Sangsoo, with a side of Joongdok. The misadventures of HSY (cat) and YJH (cat???). I have a special spot in my heart for this fic because cat HSY is written so hysterically well it has permanently affected my own characterization of HSY. Funny, charming, cute, but as with all things orv, has a very sweet and sad undertone.

Great Escapes by wyrvel

JDJ. YJH attempts to confess. KDJ does not make things easy for him. The calling card of a great jdj confession fic is a tasteful amount of KDJ brand tomfoolery, just enough to make you want to grab him and shake him like maracas. This fic accomplishes that with flying colors. It's written from YJH's pov, but you can just feel the gears turning and steam puffing out of KDJ's head. Op understands babygirl YJH. As a warning, this is the first part of a three fic series, the other two are NSFW.

Only I know how this show will end! by ineedacatchyname

YHK. Our favorite toxic polycule, now on live tv! A truly tremendous Love Island AU fic. My absolute favorite thing about this fic is that every time a character is introduced, there's a cutaway to their Love Island Love Interest Self Introduction Sexy Beach Montage Reel written in the style of a TV film script and every last one of them had me crying real tears. YSA is also excellent in this fic.

World's End Rhapsody by wakerife

JDJ, with a side of Sangsoo. This was one of the first orv fics I read, before I started bookmarking them; there's a really sweet scene of YJH reading that I couldn't get out of my head so I went on a hunt to find this fic again by searching through every single ORV fic tagged with "post-canon." A collection of KDJ recovery snippets, punctuated by some heartfelt jdj.

At Sea by ksalientian

YHK. The dead return from the sea, including KDJ. He doesn't come back exactly how they remember. Eerie, melancholy, and permeated with slow, enormous loss. There are some horror like elements in this fic, but it's more psychological than something that might make you squeamish. Yoohan are going through it. Fantastic fic!

I don't want to fall asleep just yet by featherx

GEN. Pre-canon. There's a ghost that lives inside of HSY's house. A short character study on the loneliness of a writer.

A New Story Written by pyrrhura

YHK. KDJ worries in the middle of the night about being responsible for a new story, and about being a father. Or, three idiots and baby. I love fics where yhk get their blissfully mundane happy ending, but op doesn't confuse that with forgetting the traumas and hardships of the past. Love the banter in this fic, and the way they just lean on one another without even thinking. As a warning, there are discussions of unplanned pregnancy in this.

Ain't Nobody Solving That Declining Birth Rate by dulcetair

YHK. KDJ is fresh out of a coma (broke) and YJH is a former terrorist (also broke.) The post-scenario government issues a cash incentive for people to get married. Or, the gang commits marriage fraud! Features YJH wearing a apron that says grillmaster on it. I was already a firm believer in YHK getting married for """tax benefits""" because it makes things easier for KDJ who is too embarrassed to admit anything otherwise, but the idea of HSY using Avatars to game the system and buy a three story house just for funsies is also incredibly in character.

What the Living Do by younglegends

GEN. Snapshots of mourning, loving, and longing from various KCom members' points of view. The chronological events of this fic are backwards, which makes for an interesting read. Younglegends hasn't written a lot of ORV stuff yet, but the two fics that they have so far are both downright phenomenal, and some of the best work I've seen in this community. They are also the author of the fic that I refused to spoil in the previous orv fic rec. Also, their YSA characterization is perfect.

That's all for now! Enjoy!

[shepherds-of-haven]

Did MC and Red (either best friends or exes) not make any plans to meet again one day? Or did they pretty much accept that that might not happen? And how did he feel after they left?

I only played the demo so if this is answered in-game later it's ok to ignore this ask! Thanks in advance! (and thank you for being so kind and attentive with all the asks you receive, just seeing how you reply to everyone makes me feel super welcomed here! <3)

MC and Red did intend on meeting up again someday, but in a world where there isn't any real way of communicating with each other from afar (especially if you're constantly traveling and moving around and don't actually know where the other person will be at any given moment), they both just accepted that it would happen somewhat abstractly. When you leave the Circle as a young adult, there's generally this sense of excitement and new independence, like "I can't wait to go off on my own and spread my wings and explore the world and figure my life out and become the person I'm meant to be!!" It's this fresh, exciting rite of passage that everyone goes through, so there isn't this looming concern about how to see each other again ASAP (you've spent the last several years seeing each other every single day, after all); it's sort of just accepted that you're all going to go off your own ways and you'll see each other when you see each other (typically when you come back to the Circle after a few years of freedom and moonlighting to "settle down"/enter the next phase in life/figure out what you're going to do next). Generally the simplest thing to do is to pop back in to the Circle and inquire where the other one is, and if the other person has been there recently, you stand a good chance of finding them (or at least leaving a message for the next time they come through), depending on how urgently you need to see them. MC also knew where Red's family lived, so they could have also checked in there and his parents or sisters would have gotten a message to him ASAP if needed! So they weren't really thinking about it at the time, basically; they just had faith (blind faith, pretty much) that it was going to happen eventually, so they weren't too worried about it!

There's also the case that, if they were sweethearts and then broke up, they did need some space from each other and weren't like "all right well I'm going to go do my own thing since I was under the impression that we're just a fling and definitely not in love... anyway, want to meet back here in a year?" LOL

As friends, I don't think either Red or MC were really devastated or bummed out about going their separate ways: as I said, this is pretty much the standard course of things when you don't have phones or even permanent mailing addresses, it's sort of like when you have a friend who goes on pilgrimage or backpacking across Europe for several months without technology and you just have to accept that you'll see them when they get back! It was understood that both of them would return to the Circle someday, so they weren't worried about it outside of that... it just took Red way less time than he thought and MC way more time than they thought LOL. (But they'd assumed he was off doing his own thing too, not that he was still back there all that time! That's why they're so shocked to see him in Chapter 3: the odds of him actually physically being at the Circle were next to impossible in their mind, since they thought he was off still gallivanting around the Continent like he'd planned!)

Also, thanks so much for your very sweet and kind words, I'm so happy that you can feel welcome! :) Thanks for your question and I hope my answer made sense!

[brakingpoint]

i love it when you get sustantiatedly bitchy about things that don't really matter like ships, so i'd love you to talk about some of the ones you feel most strongly about, but tbh now i am also curious what you DO see

strongly tempted to put "i love it when you get substantiatedly bitchy about things that don't really matter" in my bio 👍🏻

anyway i feel like most of my examples are honestly not down to anything wrong with that particular ship but moreso overall trends in f1blr shipping (and i think i have set forward this exact thesis before so apologies for repeating myself but i love getting bitchy as much as you love to read it so i will yap about it again 😁) so it's probably more productive for me to just moan about those. perhaps with examples. just to swing the bat at the hornets' nest a little bit harder

in my opinion all of these trends are also interconnected - although they may at first seem contradictory - and feed into and amplify each other's respective flaws to create one big mess of mediocre shipping

trend one: trying to make fetch (yaoi) happen for every combo of teammates, rivals, drivers who came up through feeder series together regardless of if there is any chemistry or even anything remotely interesting about the dynamic

trend two: when there is no chemistry or canonically compelling feature to a certain combo, instead of doing the tried and true crackship method of getting a bit silly with it and going "hey would this be fucked up/funny/sexy/cute or what" everythingggg has to be about overwrought tinhat soulmateism, which is what makes trend one so exhausting. you can't be telling me you actually think every single teammate combo on the grid are actually star crossed lovers with abundant genuine and compelling yaoi fodder. it's not possible

trend three: everyone on here has the attention span and object permanence of a six month old cocomelon addict and so instead of respecting and sticking to the genuinely fantastic "vintage" (read: they were teammates/friends 2-5 years ago and don't interact as much publicly anymore) ships that exist for several drivers the overwhelming trend is for people to flock to the next big thing (read: whatever two drivers are standing next to each other for this season). it's kind of like migratory slash fandom but it's even weirder because it's happening all within one fandom, and half the time you're abandoning a genuinely good fun interesting ship for something that fits trends one & two and is therefore, to me, a bit shit

anyway examples of ships i just don't really Get for one or more of the above reasons include: a lot of contemporary lando ships (i'm not actually saying this because i'm a lando hater on track. when it comes to yaoi i do not discriminate and i think carlando is an all time banger f1 rpf staple. which is why i'm baffled by so many people acting like landoscar is anywhere near a worthy replacement); certain other teammate ships like britcedes, alex/logan (🕊️), zhou/bottas; even (please don't kill me) lestappen to an extent which i don't mind and have even written multiple fics for but i think people are taylor swift easter egging it a bit too hard at this point

on the other hand some of the ships i DO still like and Get include: strollonso (genuinely top ship to me at this point, peak contemporary teammate ship), piarles (idk if this has fallen victim to the Vintage Ship issue as much as i think or if i just perceive it that way bc half the pierre blogs on here have me blocked), some maxiel (lowkey prefer it when treated as a Vintage Ship as opposed to trying very hard to prove it's still alive and kicking today), carlando as already mentioned, whatever was going on between lando and max fewtrell and their possibly shared girlfriend a couple of years back, charlos (another strong contemporary teammate ship), sebmark, and of course my beautiful iconic eternal brocedes. OH and max/gp 😜

[blazehedgehog]

You said that you didn't like watching Scorpy for "reasons"... are you able to elaborate on that? I get it if not.

He just went through a phase of being weirdly aggressive about wanting to make loud noises. Like yelling into the mic so loud it creates static, that kind of stuff. Which I've heard from other RTVS people "that's just how Scorpy is" and that's fine, I guess. Let him live his truth. I'm not here to control anyone.

There's a whole generation of people 10 years younger than me that are like him and think "loud noise = funny" and I've never vibed with that. Never ever.

For one, when people do that stuff, it actually causes me pain. For two, if it stops hurting, then that's permanent hearing damage. My mother had hearing damage that as she got older rapidly went from "mild" to "severe" over the course of about ten years, and being with her for that was incredibly difficult for both of us.

She'd put the TV up to 70% because it was the only way she could hear anything, and one time I asked her to turn it down and she practically burst into tears because she knew it was a burden, she worried about it constantly, and she was even afraid the neighbors were going to start complaining. But there was nothing she could do.

In her own words, "What am I supposed to do? Just sit here in silence until I keel over dead?"

That kind of hearing damage compounds on itself. That's why it got so much worse, so fast. You damage your hearing once and now you're creeping up the volume dial just to hear normally, damaging your hearing more, and more, and more, like a multiplier.

Living with her, I bought construction site grade earplugs and wore them to bed every night. And I could still hear the TV from all the way across the apartment.

For three, I've actually had people who had to buy new phones because some kid blasted them with an extremely loud sound in a "funny" Youtube video and it actually blew out their speaker and ruined the phone.

So you're costing me money, you're costing me my health, and you're costing me my well-being.

Y'all are gonna need hearing aids before you're 50. And, for four: hearing aids are not a good fix for hearing damage. My mom actually tried multiple different types of hearing aids in the hopes they would help and she did not like a single one of them. And she's not the only one; I've read posts from at least one other person (with a listening disability, not just hearing damage) who said they went through years, decades even, of trying many many many different hearing aids, and all it did was make them tired of having to deal with it. Ultimately they decided they would rather embrace deafness than having to try yet another hearing aid, because none of them were a comfortable substitute for what normal hearing is like.

So if Scorpy is going to buy another awful Rock Band microphone, and use it to get weird and indignant and "ON THIS STREAM WE JUST MAKE LOUD SOUNDS!!! THAT'S JUST WHO I AM!!!! DEAL WITH IT OR LEAVE GRANDPA!!!!" then, yeah, I don't have to watch. So I haven't. I've cut back on just about all of my RTVS viewing as a similar result, too.

And I can all but guarantee that I will have better hearing at age 75 than Scorpy will have at age 45

Which is a bummer. I like Scorpy. He's a good entertainer. We're on very similar wavelengths sometimes. And I like RTVS as a whole. But there's always this worry I could be stepping on a landmine where somebody tries to eat their mic and the rest of the chat goes "yes they jingled the keys for me, do it again."

You only get five senses, folks. Don't willingly cripple any one of them, because once they're gone, they aren't coming back. Don't live to regret something you can't reverse.

Sorry to be the bummer, but I gotta look out for my own health.

[kitcat992]

Just wanted to stop by and let you know that I was thinking of you and sincerely hope life is being kind ❤️

I’ve read a few Irondad fics lately that have been so well articulated and beautifully written, and they’ve reminded me of your stories. But your work will always be the GOAT to me. Everything else I read is always compared to your version of the MCU, because that’s canon in my opinion.

I secretly love that your stories keep going, that Identity Within is still a WOP, because parting with a finished story when you reach the end… a story that you’ve grown to love and formed a bond with… it’s really hard to say goodbye. It feels a little like grief if I’m being honest.

I’ve lived in the joy of knowing that there’s no permanent end (yet) to the Identity Series for years now, and I’m actually really grateful that I haven’t had to read an ending or experience that final farewell.

I just wanted you to know that your work is so appreciated, and while I’m sure it weighs on you sometimes that the updates take a while and the series has been ongoing for a few years, it actually brings me so much comfort ❤️ You deserve to know that you make that difference for someone.

Life is being....SOMETHING to me 😅😫😩So when I say that this message rejuvenated the very essence of my soul, I truly mean it ❤️❤️❤️

I've had some very rough nights recently, thanks to the wonders of ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ stress ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟI've got front row tickets to the "when it rains, it pours" show, and to add onto that, I started a whole new career where I'm *running a freaking business.* Yeah, sleep doesn't really happen as often as it should for me.

And because I'm still trying to sleep, I don't keep my mind operating at such a capacity that I could do anything worthwhile other than watch Tiktoks re-read through my series for shits and giggles, because I wrote it having wanted to read these things, and now I can go back and have fun reading the story that was once all jammed packed into my head. And in doing this, I tend to remember comments that made my entire day, month, year, and so I go into my inbox and just....I just read all the comments, over and over again, with such a profound, appreciative, ecstatic, blessed feeling in my heart.

The love that everyone has had for this series is what makes me still so deep in love with it today. And hearing that from people like you, who are so kind to take a minute of your time and express these things as if it were your first time ever reading the story...god, a girl couldn't be anymore lucky. Truly, #hashtag blessed.

My free time is far and few inbewteen these days (why did I decide to go run a freaking business 😳) but I promise you, no job will ever take this series away from me. I'm far too excited for everything that's yet to come, still to be written, and needs to be told, that I'll never leave this piece unfinished. Knowing that the pace it's taken isn't something that bother people does ease my nerves and calm me a bit, and I thank you so very much for expressing that and all the love alongside with it.

Chapter 9, Bachelor Party, is one BEAST of a chapter that's nearing closer and closer to finished every day. I hope for an update within the month or two. It contains a whooping 17 characters in a single scene, with character interactions we damn right deserved in the MCU. 2/3rds of the way done and and I think my inability to control the word count says enough about what to expect.

These characters have gone through far too much to rush through chapters now. In fact, the more things go on, the richer things get -- and to know amazing people like you are along for the ride...that's just so dam nifty. ❤️❤️❤️

[accioprocrastination]

One Day At A Time (Part 3/?)

Jake Seresin x Reader

A/N: More angst, ngl I was listening to Daylight by David Kushner when writing so this got away from me a bit wasn't expecting it to get this dark...

T/W: Anxiety, panic disorder, grief, PTSD, gun violence, torture, murder, prisoner of war, war crimes

Summary: Hangman's POW fiancée attempts a prison break; Javy talks Jake into doing something he doesn't want to do.

Masterlist

Jake POV -

Coyote can talk anyone into anything.

He's somehow convinced everyone to book the day after the mission off work to go to your place, not wanting his best friend to spend another one of your birthdays isolating himself.

Jake pulls up into the driveway and grabs the barbecue supplies from the back of the car before dumping them on the side in the kitchen.

"Wow, when we said let's go to Hangman's I wasn't expecting this." Rooster says entering the house with Phoenix, Bob and Fanboy in tow. All of them blatantly ignore Jake's tear-stained face and glance around in awe at the house.

"I'm not being funny but how on earth have you financed this?" Phoenix questions making Jake laugh. He cannot express the relief that her teasing makes him feel after a morning full of unease.

"Phoenix you cannot ask that!" Rooster gasps giving her a horrified look.

"This place was unbelievably gross when we bought it, It literally makes my skin crawl thinking about our first viewing... It was up for sale so cheap I knew there must've been a reason, other than it being close to base." Jake smiles, "there's no way in hell I would've bought this without Y/N walking around declaring what we should do to it." He elaborates, not having the vision to have done any of the renovation alone.

"Jesus he has a pool!" Fanboy shouts from the other side of the room as the others rush to the window to scrutinise outside. When everyone arrives Jake gives them a quick tour around the house to avoid anyone snooping without his knowledge.

He leaves Bradley to man the barbecue and heads inside to grab a beer. In doing so he watches Phoenix and Bob verbally dissect the photographs on the mantle.

"God she was gorgeous." Phoenix points out to no one in particular, tone sounding impressed that Jake managed to land you.

"She really was." Jake sighs looking at the photo of you at your backseaters wedding, grinning ear to ear at whatever he was saying to you.

God I miss you

"How did you two meet?" Bob queries, stopping Jake before he can spiral into his thoughts.

"Flight school... I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, she literally knocked me clean off my feet day one. We started arguing and I just thought shit this is the girl version of me." He smirks as he answers.

"God I can't imagine there being two of you out in the world. How would we cope?" Payback winks, making Jake roll his eyes in response.

"Do you usually celebrate her birthday?" Bob asks not really knowing who Hangman is as a person outside of work.

Jake instantly shakes his head. "No she fucking hates -" he starts to answer swiftly cutting himself off. He ignores the bolt of heartache that threatens to shatter him as he realises he needs to correct himself, "-hated her birthday... She never wanted to celebrate it so we always just did something together without anyone else. I don't know why Javy's arranged this." Jake lies not completely oblivious to Coyote's attempt to force him to find closure.

He can't even argue that it's misguided. It's been years and he still needs to correct himself to past tense when talking about you.

Every time he comes home he half expects you to walk through the door after him.

Jake would never say it aloud but every time he comes home, he feels like he's waiting. Permanently waiting for you to get home too.

"You miss her a lot?" Bob continues trying to get a read on him.

Jake nods. "Every single day. She's my first thought when I wake up in the morning, and the last one before I go to sleep."

"Still?" Javy's worried disbelief comes from the doorway.

"Yeah." Jake's lip quivers slightly as he continues to stare at the photograph in Phoenix's hands.

I thought that this would get easier as time goes on - everyone says that - but every day I miss her more than yesterday.

Jake tears his eyes away from your photo and necks the rest of his beer in silence. All he can think about is how he'd give anything to not feel like this anymore.

Unable to shake the torment, Hangman slips out of the living room and heads back outside to argue with Bradshaw.

*

Reader POV -

You're shoved forward by a warden, collapsing onto your knees in the threshold of an outbuilding you've never been in before. Tears well in your eyes from the sheer force that your knees hit the concrete. The tears don't have a chance to fall, as the man hoists you upright forcing you inside.

Anxiety surges in your chest as you look up. You're greeted by blood splattered walls that instantly confirm your thoughts about this building.

This is where they kill people who are no longer useful to them.

You look over at Ghost hoping he will give you a look to convey that he has some form of grand plan for leaving this place. His golden skin looks ashy with sickness, sweat beads on his forehead, and his face is contorted in trepidation.

He doesn't have a plan. Neither of you have a plan.

It feels like someone has sat on your chest with how rapidly short your breathing is becoming, your apprehension is blossoming with every passing second spent in this building.

I do not want to die here.

You silently beg your backseater to look at you, as if meeting his gaze will prompt you to have some form of epiphany. His shoulders are hunched, eyes glued to the floor inaudibly accepting his fate.

He's been trying to convince you that you'll get out every day since you got here, you've told yourself every day that's not possible. Seeing him resigned to this reality sends adrenaline pounding through your body, you're not dying here at least not without a fight.

As the herding stops, you scour the room as best you can without moving, eyes flickering between all of the red covered rooms as you search for anything at all that you might be able to grab to attack the wardens with.

Fuck, this is hopeless.

We're as good as dead.

The rooms are almost completely empty.

There is nothing, not one single thing, here that we can use as a weapon, you realise.

Your thoughts of giving up are abruptly halted the millisecond after they form, as you watch the warden on your left shift his right arm towards a gun strapped to his waist. He's the prick who pushed you.

Somehow through the endless cries of the people around you, you hear the unmistakeable sound of gun safetys being removed. The fallacy that you've created of this place having some vague sense of security or solidarity among prisoners is shattered when the first round of gunfire begins.

You feel your stomach start to churn as people try to shield behind others. The sequential bout of nausea that washes over you is unignorable.

Your whole body traitorously reacts to the commotion, your rigid tension melting away to a whole body tremor. You've never been in the situation where you feel your knees shake with genuine well-placed terror before.

You've got to pull your shit together y/n. You mentally slap yourself trying to fight your inner anxiety away, needing to think rationally to decide your next move.

Without debating the consequences, you shove the warden next to you into the wall behind him with all the strength you can muster. He's thrown off guard, obviously not expecting any resistance. After his minute stumble allows you to take his weapon, he straightens up hand instantly moving to become a vice on your arm. He twists your arm in an attempt to throw you off balance. You do not shift even an inch, feet firmly planted on the ground. You're so deep in your fight or flight response that you barely even feel the motion that you expected to floor you.

The wardens are so focused on obliterating prisoners that they don't recognise the screams of their own as out of the ordinary, so you continue resisting.

When all of the wardens are down, you allow yourself to properly glance around the prisoners in the room.

Everyone looks broken beyond repair, most of them are bleeding.

Even if you got everyone out, you're not sure who among you is strong enough to live with this.

Ghost looks like a shell of himself

Ignoring that thought, you turn your attention to him, "I want to go home" you state croakily, arms still shaking as you lower the gun.

"There's no way out of here." Ghost reiterates, agitation plaguing his voice. It took the two of you, four days of recon to figure that escape was not at all possible from where they keep normal prisoners.

"Listen to your boyfriend Miss America." One of the wardens chuckles from his place on the floor, momentarily pulling your focus to watch him hold pressure on the bullet wound on his leg.

"Then we die trying." You instruct your back seater, before opening up your invite to everyone else.

A fail looking man that you bumped into earlier, shoves a boy in your direction quickly saying something to him in a language you don't understand.

There are kids here? A shudder runs through your body at the thought of children being exposed to this. No one should be exposed to this, especially not little kids.

The man turns to face you, opening his mouth to say something when a bullet rings out. You grab the kid shielding his eyes before he can see his potential father figure drop to the floor.

A warden sniggers from the floor as you stand glued to the spot in horror and disbelief that anyone would be that insanely cruel.

"Go." Someone chokes out, moving to shield you.

*************************************************************

Part 2 for those who missed it

Part 4

A/N: I promise I'll listen to something happier and write some fluff soon