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#every time I think living on my own is stressful I have to deal with these people
egg-emperor · 18 hours
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I don't reflect on it much now but it's times like these where I get harsh reminders of how bad of a year 2022 was and realize how far I've come
Becoming the target of harassment and slander due to a combination of my Eggman creations and then being blamed for my abuse after learning the reasons behind it was really hard. I almost died months before that campaign even happened because I was in a terrible place anyway and some knew and still hurt me and made it worse. They made me regret surviving for a while. And if I expressed how hurt I was by it all, I was called manipulative
I lost so much in so many ways and had vile things said about me and my abuse and if it wasn't for the real friends and the lovely followers and anons who stuck by and supported me, I don't think I'd still be here. I was still acting out in terrible ways online for a while after because I was in an absolute awful place mentally due to irl and online struggles. There's a lot of deleted posts and DMs I regret but I genuinely wasn't thinking right for months, my mind was genuinely fucked
I developed some bad habits that I haven't fully recovered from and fluctuate between how bad they are but I'm glad it's one of the only things left to work on. The stress, anxiety, and depression of 2022 worsened my health issues a lot as last year I started experiencing increased fainting and other physical health issues. At that point I realized I needed a change for my safety and health. For a while I didn't even feel like I deserved to be helped so it was hard but I finally did it
Now I'm getting support with bills, going to doctor and hospital appointments to look into my disability for diagnosis and hopefully to be helped, I have a therapist I just started with. I'm personally not an SSRI meds kind of guy so I've been doing every other method to recover instead. I've also made a ton of progress mentally on my own with my mindset, it's far less of a negative and angry place than it was then. I manage how I deal with setbacks better, I don't feel like I'm back at square one when things get bad now
I spend far less time thinking about what happened or letting their negativity consume me. There's been a few times since where parts of it have come back up and it's been challenging at times but I can handle them more rationally and be the sensible level-headed one and assure that I don't go back to that place. It's okay for me to be hurt by it and realize what happened to me was wrong but I don't let it haunt me every moment anymore. It's no longer the first thing I think of when I wake and last when I go to sleep
And I've realized what really matters and what's really important to me. The passion and joyful expression of the things I love and all the great people that are still here that I have the delight of getting to know and talk to. There's still a lot of challenges coming up in the future but I'm happy that it has nothing to do with everything back then. I want to express myself and my passion and never feel the shame they wanted me to. I want to get better. I finally want to live. I have hope and believe better times are ahead
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And I'm very grateful for everyone who is warm, kind and supportive of me along the way. I appreciate everyone who is accepting of me and make me feel like I finally belong somewhere. Thank you 💜
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butnotbubblegum · 2 months
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, don’t read them if you’re having a bad day, they’ll probably not help in the slightest.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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theambitiouswoman · 1 year
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Questions To Ask Yourself If You Want To Become The Best Version of Yourself
What do I really care about? What things are really important to me?
What am I good at, and where do I need help? What am I strong in, and what could I get better at?
What do I want to achieve soon and later? What things do I want to do soon, and what are my bigger, long-term goals?
Am I trying new things and not just staying comfy? Am I doing things that might be a bit scary but good for me?
How do I deal with problems and when things go wrong? What do I do when stuff doesn't work out?
Am I nice to myself when things don't go well? Do I treat myself kindly, especially when things are tough?
How do I use my time, and what's most important? How do I plan my day, and what things matter the most?
Am I learning new stuff regularly? Do I keep finding out new things?
Do I have a good balance between work and fun? Do I make sure to have enough time for work and for things I enjoy?
Do I have good friendships and avoid bad ones? Am I friends with people who make me feel good?
Do I take care of my body? Am I eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough?
Do I think about my feelings and thoughts? Do I pay attention to how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking?
How do I deal with stress and make myself calm? What do I do when I'm stressed out?
Do I help others and make the world better? Do I do things to make people's lives nicer?
Do I have good habits and get rid of bad ones? Are there things I do every day that are good for me? Are there things I should stop doing?
Do I learn from what people say about me? When people give me advice, do I listen and try to get better?
Do I say no when I need to? Do I tell people when I need space or when something isn't okay for me?
What makes me really happy? What do I like to do that makes me feel great?
Do I use money wisely? Am I good at saving and spending money in smart ways?
Do I believe I can improve and get better? When things are tough, do I think I can get through them and learn something?Am I being kind to others and making them feel good? Do I treat people nicely and make them happy?
Do I learn from things I do wrong? When I make a mistake, do I figure out how to do better next time?
Do I try new things, even if they scare me a little? Do I give things a shot, even if they seem a bit scary?
Am I spending time with people who care about me? Do I hang out with folks who like me for who I am?
Do I eat healthy foods and move my body? Am I eating good stuff and getting some exercise?
Am I sharing and helping others when I can? Do I give stuff to others and lend a hand when I'm able to?
Am I paying attention when people talk to me? Do I really listen when others are speaking to me?
Do I take breaks and do things I enjoy? Do I give myself time to rest and do things I like?
Do I say sorry and make up if I hurt someone? When I make someone feel bad, do I apologize and try to make things better?
Do I imagine good things for myself in the future? Do I think about cool stuff I want to do?
Do I stop and relax when I'm feeling stressed? When I'm worried, do I take a moment to calm down?
Do I ask for help when I need it? Do I tell someone when I can't do something on my own?
Do I try my best, even when things are tricky? Even if it's hard, do I give it my all?
Do I pick up after myself and keep things tidy? Am I good at cleaning up and keeping things in order?
Do I use my time for things that matter most? Do I do important stuff before other things?
Do I think about good things that happened today? Do I remember all the nice things that occurred?
Am I okay with making mistakes and learning from them? Do I know it's okay to mess up sometimes and learn from it?
Do I show appreciation for the people around me? Do I let others know I'm thankful for them?
Do I take deep breaths and relax when I'm upset? When I'm mad, do I breathe and try to calm down?
Do I believe I can do better and keep growing? Do I think I can get better at things and keep getting smarter?
Am I happy with who I am right now? Do I like myself just as I am?
Do I feel okay when things don't go as planned? When stuff doesn't work out, do I stay calm?
Do I think about good things about myself? Do I focus on the nice parts of me?
Do I let go of things that make me sad? When something makes me upset, can I move on from it?
Do I notice when I'm feeling worried or scared? Am I aware of when I'm feeling nervous or frightened?
Do I believe I can do things even if they're tough? Can I do hard things if I try?
Do I try to make my mind peaceful? Do I relax my thoughts when they're racing?
Do I find things that make me feel relaxed? What can I do to feel calm and at ease?
Am I patient when things take time? Can I wait without getting upset?
Do I talk kindly to myself in my head? Do I say nice things to myself in my mind?
Am I curious about things and want to learn? Do I like to find out new stuff?
Do I think about good times and happy memories? Do I remember fun things that happened before?
Do I try to understand how others feel? Can I tell what others are feeling?
Do I imagine nice things happening in the future? Can I think about good stuff that might come?
Do I take time to rest and be by myself? Do I give myself breaks and quiet time?
Do I let go of things I can't change? Can I forget about things I can't do anything about?
Do I believe I can do things even if I don't know how yet? Do I think I can learn new things?
Do I tell myself I'm doing a good job? Do I give myself a pat on the back?
Do I stay calm even if things are really busy? Can I be relaxed even when things are crazy?
Do I know that I can make mistakes and it's okay? Do I understand that everyone messes up sometimes?
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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hdflkjasdklf i'm just thinking of certain characters n stories hehe
#🌙.rambles#no bcs why out of all gbf characters it is Belial that is on my mind lately.. 💀 he's so sus but there's smth sad abt him to me that i think#uh. makes me. feel drawn. SOMEHOW. charas in general that like i don't like them just bcs they're sad. i just Like them n later realize how#similar i am in a way n huh. maybe part of me. perhaps not really relate but i think i understand ^ him with lucilius. but. nyways#sometimes i find myself having ideas from time to time for. scenarios n stories n maybe not super concrete? even just the idea or the#emotion & sentiment of it. even if it's a mess bcs i just dump phrases n words from time to time.#i really like reading my own words. they remind me a lot of myself n resonate a lot with me.. i wrote them all after all before.#😭 ok i just got a notif bcs i have smth due in 24 hours from now.. (-> i ended up venting again but i have no more space to tag it)#there's a lot i'm stressed abt. anxious even. it's not rlly a big deal in the end n eventually the burden of my regrets will hurt less but#noooo i keep on rambling abt that i guess there's rlly just so much weighing me down in my mind But i will persevere!!!!#imagining stuff or wtvr n indulging in. idk any form of self-expression n being creative brings me so much comfort#when the break comes i'll read books i'll write stuff too i'll watch stuff i'll play video games i'll play/listen to music i'll. yeah. Live#like i want. but like success has always still meant a lot to me i'm too strict on myself w that so w school i constantly just feel trapped#even if assignments r easy n i understand all my lessons in general. i'll pass CETs certainly i'll succeed in the future i know that's who#i'll be but every single mistake just tears me apart and makes me forget who i am as a whole. i've always been 'better' in a way than your#average person i've always mostly generally done well & good but never ever quite the 'best'. so while i do love my intelligence n all as#a whole. ffs i know better but i end up being too harsh when it comes to my shortcomings. so. stuff like stories n games n yeah#those allow me to be free in a way. from my own restraints. from my own cage. so to not. be able to do that too rlly makes me forget myself#while w work n personal stuff like that i'm mostly sure of myself but when it comes to. me w ppl in this world. it's so. unpredictable?#that's just how ppl r. it's. intriguing to me definitely but. confusing. i long to belong but it's hard when most of my life i've felt..#i'm not rlly sure how to phrase it. it's in my head but yeah. so.. i'm rlly just a mess w that. i think i tend to isolate n distance myself#so easily bcs i fall far too much w the thought that. nothing much wld change? recently i'm so confused too bcs i'm aware of reality but#then i'm also just so confused n then a mess in general but i'm returning to like my old self when it comes to stories. embracing that agai#understanding myself a bit more while being distant w others but also lost for the very same reason. ITS SO CONFUSING n complex ofc.#which is. v human ig. but i'm not taking care of myself well so ffs it feels like i'm falling behind but i'm technically productive w work?#stuck between remembering. v well. i'm not too brain empty in the present too. n. i've been v keenly aware of the future#it's all going far too fast n i'm not keeping up Well Enough. the helplessness i think i wrote a while back#bcs i want to stop or i want to do smth or just change n get things done but it's not That easy. n it's been like this for so long now#i'll be fine my mind's just a mess rn n i'm just so frustrated w myself but i'm well enough. a bit empty but i'm fine.#there's a lot more to write n i could have done this in my notes but i'll stop anyways i'll work now. i'll try not to stay up Too late 🥹🫶🏼
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barleyo · 3 months
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If ur in twd fandom I would loveee a Daryl dixon age gap fic!! Just him being disgusting over taking her first time? Just a major power imbalance between them. Dont do this if ur uncomfy ofc!! Stay safe bookie <33
Men Who Are Older.
Daryl Dixon X F! Reader (smut)
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A/N: cried happy tears at this request, i LOVE daryl, he's so yummy. dirty old men foreverrrrr!!! i haven't seen all of twd and it's been a while since i've watched it, so this could be super ooc for all i know!! sorry it's short, i wanted to get all my ideas down quickly :3
Tags: LARGE age gap (18-19 and late 40-ish), power imbalance, coercion, p in v, loss of virginity, allusion to anal, creepy old man behavior (ugh i luv it)
Wordcount: 1.2k
You found yourself often visiting Daryl in his tent later in the night when you couldn't sleep. He tried to act like it annoyed him, like your presence was a nuisance to him, but it wasn't. You weren't the most irritating person he had to deal with day-to-day. You were polite enough for your age, you didn't mess around and snoop through his shit. You didn't judge him.
Most importantly, though, you were attractive. There wasn't much hot, young tail to chase around the camp. He liked to think you were his reward for living through hell every day. Nothing like eye candy at the end of the night to ease a hardened man's stress.
It was like most nights when you entered his tent, not bothering to announce yourself. Daryl looked up from the pocket knife he had been mindlessly flicking to eye you down. 
"Shouldn't you be in bed by now?" 
"Yeah, right," you said, taking a casual seat on his bedroll. "What're you doing?"
He clicked his tongue at you on his bed, but sighed and ignored it. "Nothing. Too damn late to do anythin' important."
"Want to chit-chat, then?" You rested your hands on your knees, hoping he would soothe your boredom.
"Do I wanna 'chit-chat'?" Daryl flicked his knife closed and tucked it in his back pocket. "If you wanna chat, why don't you go do it with someone else? You don't have friends your age?" 
"I used to." He didn't say anything, just flattened his mouth at your rebuttal. "We're friends though, aren't we?"
Crossing his arms, he let out a hum. "Whatever you want, kid. Sure. We're real pals."
You spoke about whatever came to your mind for the next however-many minutes with him. Mostly just you babbling on, but it didn't bother him. You could run off at your mouth all you wanted, gave him all the excuse to stare you down and look a little too closely at places he knew he shouldn't.
Eventually, you got on the topic of things you missed about life before. Things you wished you got to experience, things you were slowly starting to forget about.
"I didn't even get to properly lose my virginity before this shit took over," you complained, now laying on Daryl's bed like it was your own. "It really bites, man." 
His eyes widened a bit, arms falling to his legs from their crossed position. 
"Wait, what'd y'say?" 
"Huh? Oh, I didn't get to have sex with anyone before the outbreak," you repeated, not caring to turn to face him while you spoke. "Sometimes, I wonder if I'll die before I get any." 
So many things rushed through Daryl's head at that moment. A virgin? You? It wasn't exactly surprising, you weren't old enough for it to be a shocking thing to hear, but the thought really intrigued him. Made him wonder.
It gave him an idea, and lord knows dirty, old men have even dirtier ideas stewing in their minds.
"That bother you?" 
You finally turned your head over to look at him, eyes looking conflicted.
"I guess, a little. There are bigger things to worry about, but I feel like I'm missing out," you said while trying your best to sound nonchalant. "It's not much of a priority, under the circumstances, you know."
Oh, how wrong you were. It very much was a priority, an urgent one at that. 
"Never know. Could happen, if y'really wanted. Don't rule it out completely," he advised, wiping his face with the back of his palm. "Maybe some younger man might find his way here. Could be an opportunity." 
"Nah, I couldn't go for that. I don't wanna be inexperienced and have to deal with an equally inexperienced guy too. That'd be like hell," you joked.
"Sounds like you want an older man, then."
He called on every guardian angel he had in that moment, praying for you to take the bait. Just one chance, damn it, he wasn't asking for much.
"Yeah, guess so." You made eye contact with him for a brief second, before flitting your eyes around in embarrassment. "Listen, it's getting late, I should go." You pushed yourself up, ready to head back to your family.
Daryl stood from his seat and grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer to him.
"I don't mind," he said, dancing around the answer to the question you didn't yet ask. "I know my fair share."
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"Those don't sound like sounds a virgin'd make," he teased. He loved how you sounded. Straight from a porno, just shameless cries and squeals. "You sure you ain't did this before?"
He watched the back of your head shake 'no' while his hand guided along the arch in your spine. Took you a while to learn to keep your head down and ass up, but damn it if you didn't put the knowledge to work quickly.
"Am I supposed to be dizzy?" you asked, voice muffled by the blankets under you.
Daryl chuckled softly, slamming your hips back on him. "Yeah, if the guy's doin' it right. Feel good?"
Your hands clenched the fabric you were laying on, digging into it roughly.
"I think? I—I dunno, 's just so much."
Being the man he was, Daryl took that as a challenge. He flipped you over on your back, cock still rocking into you. He sped up, letting his movements get sharper. 
"C'mon," he muttered gruffly, trying to urge you to place your legs on his shoulders, "you gonna be this much of a problem for the next guy?"
You gave your weak legs a kick, wrapping them around his neck so the shaking wouldn't roll them off his shoulders. 
"No, no," you whined, groping your tits to keep your hands busy, "don't want another guy. He won't be as good as you, Dar." 
How the hell could a few little words get him ramped up even more? He knew you probably didn't mean it, horny girls said whatever their pussies wanted them to say, but the way he fucked you made you believe your own words.
"Yeah? I ruined ya for other guys already?" 
The stark difference between his now softer tone and rougher thrusts confused your brain in the best ways possible. You couldn't focus on just one aspect of him: Daryl was everywhere. In your brain, in your heart, in the very blood flowing through your veins— and, of course, inside of you. 
It was too much, all of it. 
Your walls clamped tightly over him, sucking him in like a vacuum. The clenching of your walls over his dick sent him over the edge, barely leaving him enough time to pull out. He bit the back of his hand, stifling a moan while he jerked himself the rest of the way off, coating your tired pussy with his cum. 
"You didn't cum inside, did you?" You sat up quickly, scooting back a bit. 
Daryl let out a huff. "I'm not an amateur, I know how to pull out."
"Just checking," you mumbled, lying back down on his bedroll, head nuzzling into the pillow.
You felt his dick push up against your ass, prodding between your cheeks.
"I could show you a way that'll make sure no idiot douchebags get ya knocked up," he offered, head desperately tapping against your asshole, "if you want."
A soft sigh came from your chest as you pushed your ass back on him.
"You're an eager teacher, y'know."
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nats-firefly · 7 months
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the bet
sorority!wandanat x reader
summary: tri delta and delta nu have a bet, you get caught in the cross fire
warnings: power bottom!wandanat, choking, smut 18+ only
a/n: repost! they're back
🚩 warnings are clearly stated please do not report/flag :) 🚩
words: 2.7 k | feedback is always welcome | masterlist
divider source | gif source
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Delta Nu and Tri Delta were known as the rival sororities on campus. Always the two every girl wanted to get into, the two to raise the most funds for whatever cause and the two who were always at each other’s throats. One week, the heads of the two sororities met and made a bet. Celibacy week. The house that broke first would have to give up their summer funding for parties, only relying on future fundraisers for party budget.
Usually, these bets wouldn’t affect you all that much. You even liked them sometimes, Natasha would get especially frustrated when things didn’t go her way and she would always come to her trusty roommate for some… stress relief.
But this bet, this bet sucked. 
Not only was Natasha extremely sexually frustrated and on edge, but you had also found yourself becoming dependant on both Natasha and Wanda for your own stress relief. And now neither of them could come to your aid.
You tried though. And you were persistent. But Natasha is a more determined when she’s pissed off. And there was nothing that pissed her off more than having to share you. She noticed how much you would be on your phone and how you spent more and more time out of the apartment, and how your dirty laundry would have the faint smell Natasha recognized from meetings with Delta Nu.
You snaked your hands onto Natasha’s hips, pressing her between your body and the counter, making sure the outline of the silicone toy between your legs was clearly felt through your sweatpants. Natasha whimpered, her hips subconsciously pressing back against you. She turned around in your hold, her hand coming up to grip your throat and pull you towards her.
You turned her towards the kitchen island, hooking your hands under her thighs and propping her up. Her fingers pressed the sides of your throat and you moaned into her mouth, your lips moving perfectly against each other. She bucked her hips closer to the edge, feeling your cool fingertips sliding up her thigh. 
All of a sudden, Natasha clenched her thighs shut, trapping your hand between her thighs as she pushed you away from her with clenched eyes. Her hand loosened its grip on your throat as your other hand slid down her leg. 
“I can’t let her win this too,” You tilted your head, about to ask her what she meant when she hopped down from the counter, giving you a peck on the cheek before walking into her room. 
You frustratedly closed the door to your room, plopping down on your bed and pulling out your phone, starting to text the only other woman who could tend to your needs at the moment.
it’s just a stupid bet, what’s the big deal? nobody has to know, wanda
You rolled your eyes, waiting patiently for the three little dots to appear.
did you forget you live with one of them 
she has a name you know
whatever it is, no. I can’t.
I’ll get rid of her, please?
Wanda tapped her fingertips against her table, biting her lip in concentration. She huffed out a sigh, typing out a half-assed excuse, part of her already thinking of what she’d wear to your place. 
if this fucks up my chances as delta nu president next year i’m holding you personally responsible get rid of her
You got up from your bed, grabbing your wallet and pulling out a twenty dollar bill. You walked to Natasha’s bedroom, knocking on the door before you heard her voice telling you to come in.
“Do you wanna do me a favor?” You asked, scratching the back of your neck as you sat on her bed. She scrolled further down the online store’s website, clicking on a bodycon dress. She hummed, encouraging you to keep talking. “Can you go to the store and grab ice cream?”
“Why do I have to go?”
“Well, you’ve got all this pent up energy you can’t release right? Jog to the store.”
She hummed and stopped scrolling, turning her chair to your direction. You offered her the twenty dollar bill and she snatched it away from your hands. “Fine.”
“Thanks,” You smiled, getting up from her bed and making your way back to your room. Natasha found it odd but didn’t think about it too much. She put on her running shoes and slung a fanny pack over her shoulder before heading out the door, leaving your twenty dollar bill on the counter. 
You heard the front door click shut and quickly texted Wanda.
she’s jogging to the store, you have like twenty minutes to get here
Wanda stood up out of her desk, sliding off her sweatpants and stepping into tight yoga pants. She packed her laptop and notebooks into her bag and walked out the door, grabbing a baseball cap before she left the house. She walked to your apartment and was there ten minute later, trying to ignore the smug smirk on your face as you ushered her into your bedroom.
You closed the door and pushed Wanda against the wooden surface, bringing her lips onto yours. She closed her eyes, getting lost in the feeling of your lips against hers while her bag slid down her arm to rest gently on the floor. She caught herself when your hands started drifting up her sweater, making her push you back onto your bed. You fell backwards, propping yourself up on your elbows as she straddled your lap. 
“You don’t get to call the shots today,” She gripped your hair and brought your lips back onto hers, her tongue moving against yours in a heated kiss. Your hands came to rest on her ass, making her buck hips into you and fuck, this was a bad idea. 
“Doesn’t seem like you want me to stop,” You smirked up at her, making her grip your chin and push you into the bed, rolling her eyes as she got off your lap. 
“I do,” She groaned, standing up again and moving to her back on the floor bringing it to the bed. “I even brought work to do.”
“You never stop, do you?” You asked, as she sat against the headboard, looking at you while she type on her computer and you pulled out your video game controller. 
“If I did, I wouldn’t become president of Delta Nu next year,” She said, the sound her her nails clicking on the keys echoing in your ears.
“Easy there, champ, don’t your sisters have to elect you?” You joked as you clicked away on your controller, eyes glued to the screen on the wall.
“Yeah, but I’m not worried about that,” She said, her eyes drifting to the way your bottom lip was caught between your teeth and your fingers flexed so easily around the controller. It all sent a wave of arousal straight to her core.
Wanda pushed her laptop off her lap, the crawled over to you, pushing your controller aside and straddling your hips once again. 
“Ready to break the rules, Madam President?”
“The rule is I can’t have sex,” She said, bringing her lips onto yours. “Nobody said anything about touching.”
She gripped your wrists and led them under her shirt, making you smirk against her mouth. Her soft moans filled your ears and vibrated through your body, your fingertips pressing harder against the soft skin of her chest. Your lips trailed down her neck, her hands gripping onto your hair as she arched into you. You flipped her over onto the bed, kneeling between her thighs and continuing to kiss down her body.
Wanda moaned as she felt the shape of your strap press against her. Her fingernails dug into your scalp as you sucked on her skin, not hard enough to leave a mark but just enough to leave Wanda wanting more. 
Wanda felt her desperation heighten, feeling like maybe, just maybe she would break the bet. Just as she was about to start tugging your shirt up your body, your head picked up, hearing Natasha open the door to the apartment. You looked at Wanda, a smirk tugging on your lips as you kissed up to her ear, softly shushing her.
“We have to be quiet now, angel,” You said, bringing her lips back onto yours. She continued kissing you, her eyes bursting open when the idea popped into her head. If she wanted anything with you tonight, she was gonna have to share you with Natasha. 
But Wanda couldn’t just bring this up, and she wouldn’t be able to wait another day, celibacy week was almost over. She had to act now. And it had to be Natasha’s idea. Wanda started whining against your lips, at first softly, but getting increasingly louder.
Natasha walked through the door, stopping at the fridge to grab a water bottle as she caught her breath. She removed her earphones and moved closer to you door, hearing shuffling and muffled whining from the other side of the door. 
“I’m back from the store,” She called through the door, making you pull away from Wanda and place your hand over the brunette’s mouth.
“Uhmm, you can put the ice cream in the freezer, I’ll get it late-OUCH!” You hissed at the sharp pain on your fingers, turning your gaze back to Wanda who had a grin on her face and she gripped your forearm over her shirt.
“Is everything okay?” Natasha said, walking into your room. She froze at the sight in front if her: Wanda pinned underneath you, one of your hands under her shirt while the other hovered above her mouth. The redhead’s eyebrows raised and a smug grin graced her features. “What do we have here.”
You pulled yourself off Wanda and walked over to Natasha gripping her hips and turning her around, pushing her towards the door. “We didn’t do anything, she didn’t lose the bet.”
Natasha stopped in her movements, all the pent up frustration she jogged off immediately returning. If anyone was gonna tiptoe around the grey area of the bet with you, it was gonna be her. There was no way in hell she would let Wanda have you all to herself. She turned around to face you before her gaze drifted to Wanda, who was still laying on the bed, her gaze completely locked onto Natasha. 
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” She simply said. Natasha’s lips turned upwards, her hands immediately pushing you back into your room. 
“Now we just gotta make sure you keep your mouth shut,” Natasha’s eyes locked onto yours, the back of your legs finally reaching the bed, making you fall back on it. Wanda kneeled next to you, standing over you next to Natasha as you propped yourself up on your elbows. 
“You guys make it seem like you both weren’t practically begging me to fuck you earlier today,” You rolled your eyes, watching the two girls look over you like you were the last meal on Earth. Wanda rolled her eyes, leaning over and gripping your chin.
“Let’s put that mouth to better use,” Wanda shuffled off the bed, sliding her pants down her legs along with her underwear, Natasha quickly following her movements. Wanda was about to climb back onto the bed, but Natasha held her back, making the brunette look at her with a frown.
“I live here, I get to call dibs on her face,” The redhead said, moving her body up to your face. Wanda rolled her eyes, grabbing the hem of your sweatpants and pulling them down your body, revealing her favorite red strap. 
“You tell another living soul about this and you’re moving out,” Natasha lowered her pussy onto your mouth before you had a chance to answer, her hips rolling onto your face as you stuck your tongue out. Natasha’s fingers gripped onto your hair, angling your head back as she bucked her hips onto you. Wanda groaned as she sunk down onto the toy between your legs, you could feel her weight shift on your hips as she bounced on your strap, your hands gripping the back of her knees and pulling her closer.
Wanda moaned, her nails digging into the skin of your stomach as she steadied herself. The stinging sensation made you moan into Natasha, the vibrations moving through her body and making her thighs squeeze around your head. They started off with a terrible pace, the two bucking their hips at the worst moments together. Your hands gripped Natasha’s hips as you pushed your strap deeper into Wanda, briefly halting her movements. Wanda screamed out in pleasure, the tip of the strap pressing against the perfect spot while you rolled Natasha’s hips onto your face, keeping your eyes on her as she contorted her face in pleasure.
Wanda and Natasha settled into the perfect pace, working off each other and making you groan in pleasure every now and then. Natasha pressed down onto your face, her arousal already dripping down your chin. Wanda whined, desperately bucking her hips, trying to reach her high, but not quite getting there. 
“Do you need a little help, sweetheart?” Natasha cooed condescendingly at the brunette, making Wanda more frustrated than she already was. You lifted you chin up, sucking Nat’s clit into your mouth, making her body shudder. Natasha lifted herself off you, before turning around and straddling your face once again. You circled your thumbs onto Wanda’s legs, as she continued moving against you. Natasha gripped her chin and brought their lips together, her hands moving town to Wanda’s chest, tweaking her nipples as you pumped the toy deeper into Wanda.
One of Natasha’s hands moved up to Wanda’s throat, lightly squeezing the sides as she pulled away from the brunette. She moaned, bucking her hips faster against your face as you reached up to her hips and pressed her hips down onto you as you sucked on her clit. “Cum with me, Wanda.”
You felt Wanda’s arousal soak the strap just as Natasha’s hips stilled and her body shook over you, her orgasm washing over her like waves. Wanda brought their lips together once again, both girls using your body to ride out their orgasms, hair clinging to their skin as the caught their breath. 
You licked Natasha clean before she pulled away from your face, letting you sit up and lift Wanda off you. Natasha moved off the bed to look for her underwear, ready to leave like she usually did after the two of you had your time. You leaned Wanda against the headboard, bringing your lips to hers then kissing down her body, the brunette’s hands entangling in your hair as your buried your head between her thighs, carefully running your tongue through her sensitive folds. 
Natasha watched as you cared for Wanda the same way you would care for her, feeling a pang of jealousy course through her at Wanda’s soft laughter as you came up and kissed her cheek. Wanda moved to the side, allowing you to settle agains the headboard before she settled next to you, curling to your side. 
“Uhm,” Natasha felt embarrassed watching, a prominent shade of pink gracing her cheeks as she avoided your gaze. “I’ll uh-”
“You can stay if you want,” Wanda said, pulling the blanket on the other side of you down, as you focused you attention on the tv. 
“She’s right,” You said, secretly hoping neither woman noticed how much you desperately hoped she would. 
“Okay,” Natasha leaned against the headboard, arms crossed over her chest as she focused her attention at the tv. You nudged her shoulder, the motioned for her to inch closer, making her roll her eyes but moved closer nonetheless. 
The three of your comfortably watched cartoons and talked for another few hours, not able to keep your hands to each other for most of the time. It was around 2 am when you finally closed your eyes, Natasha laying unconscious curled to your side. Wanda drew patters on your skin with her fingertips, the reflection of the tv glimmer bouncing off your phone catching her attention. She waited another few episodes to make sure you were both asleep before reaching over and snapping a picture before sending it to herself and deleting it off your phone. 
She fell asleep with a smug smirk on her features, thinking she had the upper hand. What she didn’t know was that the following morning Natasha would do the same thing, snapping a picture of Wanda laying naked with you before tiptoeing her way out of your room to get ready for class.
And yeah, they both were still at each other’s throats, but maybe this bet wasn’t so bad after all.
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shmaptainwrites · 5 months
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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]
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PAIRINGS — James Wilson x fem!Reader
SUMMARY — It was never Reader's plan to be a single mother to a newborn child, but a longtime friend steps in and before long they both have the family they've always wanted, the only catch: they're still just friends
WORD COUNT — 13.6K
WARNINGS — mentions of pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding (like non descriptive? does this need to be a warning?)
NOTE — Okay this fic has been in the works for a while and I have been swamped with school so I'm so happy I'm finally able to post something because it's literally been a full-ass month since I last came out with anything ._. hoping once finals are over I can get back into my writing groove and give some of my ideas the attention they deserve!
Middle photo credit goes to @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey
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“Are you sure this is okay?” you looked back while holding a baby carrier in both hands. 
“Like I told you back at the hospital, and in the car, and then again in the car, I promise this is okay,” James assured you, following right behind, bags under each arm. “You just went through a 40 hour labour, did you really think it would be a smart move to come home alone?”
He was right about that, physically you were exhausted, you were sure how much longer you could keep your eyes open. 
“Go take a shower, I’ll look after her until you get out,” he suggested. “If you had a support person here you would have taken shifts.”
“I know, but you have a life James,” you sighed. “One that didn’t involve your friend getting pregnant and then taking care of her.”
“Would it make it any better if I told you I really don’t mind? I like spending time with you, it’s why we’ve been friends for so long,” he put the bags down by the table and then placed a hand on your shoulder. 
“James, I love you, but I’m going to be brutally honest because my filter has vanished. This is what happens to all your wives, all your girlfriends. I really don’t need that happening to us too,” you said. 
“It won’t,” he pressed. “Come on, just take the shower. I know you want to.”
You sighed, “Alright, but I’m not gonna call for you to come in the middle of the night and every which time of day. If you want to come and see us, do it of your own accord and if you don’t want to then don’t,” you emphasized. “Do what you want, not what you think I want.”
“If I say I will, will you go take a shower?” James asked and you rolled your eyes at him. 
“Don’t drop my baby while I’m in there, okay?” you pointed at him. “You still owe me for that vase you broke.” 
“You mean the tacky one your crappy ex-boyfriend’s mom gave you? I think I did you a favour there.” 
“You’re insufferable sometimes, you know?” you said carefully putting the carrier down in the living room and looking down at your resting daughter for a moment before heading towards your room. 
“I love you too,” he said simply, replacing you by her side and keeping a close eye on her while she slept. 
You had to admit, it was a relief to be able to step into the shower, knowing there was someone you trusted outside looking after the small human you were now fully responsible for. At least before dealing with the stress and everything that would come afterwards you’d be able to be clean. 
When you came out of your bedroom after your shower, dressed in the most comfortable clothes you could find lying around, you saw James in the kitchen, the carrier now propped up on the table while he unpacked something from some grocery bags. 
“I was craving Indian, do you want some?” he asked. 
“Of course I do, the food at your hospital sucks, hand it over,” you put your hand out and he gave you a bowl so you could serve yourself some rice and curry. “She’s still asleep?” 
“Woke up once, but I got her to fall back asleep pretty easily. She might get hungry soon though too.” 
“So I should eat while I still have the chance,” you sat down at the island and began munching on the food, turning around the carrier so you could see your daughter. 
It was interesting, she’d been around only for a short few days but you could barely ever take your eyes off her. 
“Did you pick a name for her yet?” James asked, leaning over the table and eating his portion of dinner. 
“I think so,” you nodded. “I was between two when she was born, but now that I look at her she fits one better than the other.” 
“So what’s the winner?” 
“Liana,” you smiled and brushed your fingers along her small curled toes. “It suits her doesn’t it?” 
“I think it does,” he nodded. “You made a pretty cute baby.” 
“I made a very cute baby, thank you very much,” you scoffed with a chuckle. “You think you could do better?” 
“Well I don’t have a uterus so I don’t think we’ll ever be able to find out,” he shook his head. “Shame, I probably would have demolished you.” 
“As if,” you laughed, continuing to eat more food just as Liana began to stir awake. “And there’s my cue.” 
You stood up and carefully took her out of the carrier, cautious of supporting her neck before moving over to the couch where you could comfortably feed her. 
“Once you’re done I’ll burp her,” James said. “So you can keep eating.” 
“Sure,” you nodded. “Got practice from your med school days?” 
“Yeah, actually,” he nodded. “I thought originally I might specialize in working in the NICU so I spent a lot of time in the maternity ward.” 
“What made you change your mind?” you asked. 
“I would have burnt out,” he admitted. “Seeing babies and spending time with them is one thing, but seeing them sick and sometimes not get better? It’s a lot harder than you’d imagine.” 
You hummed thoughtfully, “You would have been good in that department if you decided to go that route. I think at least.” 
“Really, why do you think so?” 
“James, you’ve always been great with kids and parents. Don’t you remember how we met?” 
He chuckled to himself, “Summer camp days. Yeah, you really did have to know your way around both.” 
“You somehow managed, as a nineteen-year-old, to calm a child who was freaking out about staying away from home and dealing with an unhappy parent of a different child. I think your people skills just got better as you got older.” 
“I don’t think there’s much in life that trains you to deal with crises as much as being a camp counsellor.” 
“You can test your skills with Liana and see if you’ve still got the magic when it comes to babies,” you teased, followed by a yawn. 
“Trust me, I definitely do,” he assured you. “Babies love me.”
“And do you love babies?”
“I do, and I think I’m gonna end up loving yours a little more than most,” he admitted. 
“Good, she’s gonna need it,” you sighed. “I’m gonna need it.”
There was a pause for a moment before James spoke up again,
“Have you talked to him since the break up?” he asked and you shook your head, feeling the tears develop in your eyes. 
“I don’t really want to talk about it, not right now,” you whispered, looking down at Liana again. 
James did not peg your boyfriend as the abandoning type, but after he had coaxed the news out of you during one of your visits, he could see how much it crushed you to think of what lied ahead. Not because you didn’t want a child, but because Liana was all you wanted and you thought you were on the same page as your partner, but when it came down to things he couldn’t hold up the mask he’d been wearing any longer. 
“You should talk about it sometime though, right?” James said softly. “Doesn’t have to be with me, but you’ve been so laser focused on getting through the past nine months you haven’t really processed what happened.”
Liana had since finished feeding and you carried her over to the kitchen island, passing James a burp cloth that he could drape across his shoulder before taking her from your hands, after you pressed a small kiss to her forehead. 
“Not sure if I want to process it,” you admitted. “I’d rather focus on her.”
“And I’d rather you take care of yourself so you don’t crash and burn,” he said. 
You knew he was right, but it was nicer to pretend you were alone from start to finish than even imagining the possibility that someone was supposed to be with you through everything. The doctors appointments, the morning sickness, the preparation. 
Instead you ended up feeling like a burden to your friends who had gone out of their way to help you and be there for you. 
“Okay,” you nodded simply. “I’ll do it for you and her then.”
“It’ll end up being for you in the end,” he assured. “But just…trust me on this okay?”
“I do,” you smiled. “Just like I trust you with her.”
You finished eating your dinner while James took care of Liana and even managed to get her to go back to sleep. It seemed that even though she’d only been in the world a short while, she felt just as safe in his arms as she did in yours.
“You can put her down if you want. I have a cot set up in my room,” you pointed. 
“I’m alright like this,” he shook his head. “I’ll hold her until you’re done then I’ll leave you guys so you can get some sleep.”
Considering how hungry you were, it didn't take that much longer for you to finish eating and while you cleared up the dishes, James went and put Liana down in her bed and then gathered his things so he could give you some time alone. 
“I’ll see you around, James. Thanks for coming to help today,” you gave him a big hug and he held you tight in that way he would when he wanted to say something, but knew it should probably wait. 
“Anytime,” he gave you an additional squeeze. “You’re gonna be a great mom. You are a great mom already. I’m really happy for you.” 
You couldn’t bring yourself to say any words in response so you just nodded your head and held onto him tighter. After a moment he pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. 
“Love you, now go get some sleep.” 
“You’ve got it Dr. Wilson,” you saluted him. 
You walked him out of the door and after closing it shut behind him you took a deep breath. It was going to be hard, but you could do it. 
A few months later…
“Don’t you have a life?” you yawned, bouncing Liana in your arms to try and get her to fall asleep. 
“I mean I went bowling with House last night and I consistently stay late at work, and that’s about it, so no,” James shook his head. 
“So you figured that coming and bothering me is a good use of your spare time.” 
“I wouldn’t call it bothering,” James gave you a look. “I made you dinner.” 
“Yeah you did, and unfortunately it was really good too,” you sighed. “So you just want to hang out with me and Liana?”
“Yeah, is that so hard to believe?”
“A little considering I always have baby vomit on me now,” you chuckled. 
“It brings out your eyes,” he teased. “Here, why don’t I take her.”
“Last time I agreed to that you riled her up, which I didn’t think was possible for a three month old,” you eyed him skeptically. 
“I promise I’ll put her to sleep,” he crossed his heart. 
“Wrong religion, James,” you shook your head and he laughed. 
“Do you want me to swear on the Torah?”
“It would help,” you nodded. 
“Alright, I swear on the Torah that I won’t rile her up.”
You reluctantly passed Liana over to James and scoffed when she almost immediately stopped fussing. 
“See,” he smiled and kissed her small nose while he rocked her gently, making her eyes slowly close as she fell asleep. 
“You two are in kahoots. She’s fine whenever you’re not around, but when you are it’s like she knows she can get passed off to you if she’s fussy enough,” you laughed a little. “It’s cute though, I like how much she likes you.”
“Me too, why do you think I keep coming here?” 
“So you came to visit, what do you want to do?” you asked. “My plans were to clean the kitchen and do laundry, so not much more exciting than sitting around at home.”
“Why don’t you let me put her down then we can tackle the kitchen together. I mean I did make half of the mess there.”
“I won’t argue with you there,” you sighed and put your hands on your hips. “Okay, I’m gonna throw a load in before you put her down.” 
It took a little bit for James to be confident Liana was fully asleep before putting her down in her cot and then meeting you again in the kitchen where you were packing up leftovers from dinner. 
“Have you had many visitors?” James asked. 
“Well, I do have this one guy that keeps coming around, about this tall, practicing oncology, I think he’s a little bit obsessed with me,” you joked. 
“Aside from me,” he shook his head and went over to the dishes. 
“Yeah, a few. My parents were here for a bit while you were out of town and then some of my friends have come around to help with a few things here and there and to meet Liana.”
“Nice.”
“You sound like you want to say something,” you looked back at him. 
“It’s not too much having me over all the time, is it?”
“No, not at all,” you shook your head. “You know me, I’d tell you if it was.”
“Because I really do like spending time with you both. It’s a lot nicer than going to an empty house at the end of the day,” he admitted. “So if you don’t mind, maybe I can keep bothering you and making a mess in your kitchen.”
“I think that would be okay,” you smiled. 
You cleaned in silence for a bit before James began asking a few questions about Liana. 
“She had an appointment with her pediatrician recently, right? Everything went okay?”
“Yeah, fit as a fiddle,” you sighed. “Thank goodness.”
“Have you decided if you’re gonna use formula yet? Or will you wait it out?”
“I was actually going to ask you about this, whenever I ask anyone I think has an opinion I’d like to hear they say I need to make the decision myself and then everyone I don’t want to hear from seems to have something to say,” you chuckled. “What do you think? As a doctor?”
“I mean, if I were in your situation I might wait a bit longer, she’s still pretty young and there’s no real reason to switch over yet. I think a lot of people start maybe around 12 months and from what I’ve seen that works well,” he shrugged. 
“Thanks for giving me a straight answer,” you placed a hand on his arm. “I also don’t know if I should try and take leave from work or hire a nanny, but I think I probably have to figure that one out myself.”
“Do you have enough savings to take the time off?” he asked. 
“I get a few more months paid leave from the company I work for since I have seniority, but after that I have to figure out what to do. I think I have enough saved to last me some time, but I’m going to have to go back eventually.”
James hummed thoughtfully. 
“Do you wanna come up with solutions tonight or relax now that we’ve finished cleaning?” he asked, motioning his head to the kitchen that was definitely in better shape than before. 
“Let’s watch a movie or something, I don’t think I’ve turned the TV on since Liana was born. I’ll fold the laundry when it’s done while we watch,” you said. “I’ll figure something out later.”
“We should watch, oh jeez what’s that thing we started ages ago and never finished?”
“The really bad soap?” you asked and he nodded, “Oh yes, we’re definitely watching that.”
“Okay, you go get settled, I’m gonna make some tea, do you want some?”
“Sure, just make me whatever you’re having,” you nodded and grabbed the remote from under the pile of blankets on the couch, turning on the TV and trying to find the episodes you had recorded to watch later. 
By the time James had finished making the tea, you had found the show and were just about to start it. 
“Here,” James passed you the mug. “So what was the last thing that happened?”
“I think the main guy was sleeping with the head nurse, right and then there was the whole thing with her being engaged to the other surgeon and then her sister was in a coma?” 
“Wait, I thought the surgeon she was engaged to was sleeping with one of his patients?” 
“He was,” you nodded. “It was a whole thing.”
“Alright, just start it, I’m sure I’ll remember more as we watch.”
James was very sorely mistaken, if anything he’d gotten more confused and you were absolutely no help because nothing was making sense anymore. 
“What is up with the writing?” you asked. “Like did they just completely forget they had a whole storyline dedicated to this huge procedure and now they’re acting like nothing happened.”
“Don’t get me started, that guy was doing surgery without gloves, like that doesn’t even take much effort to get right. You’d think it was common sense,” James added. 
“Maybe we should turn it off,” you looked over at your friend, “it’s getting us all riled up.”
James pressed his lips together, “I know, but I kind of want to find out who’s the father of Paula’s baby.”
You leaned back into the couch, you had managed to fold all the laundry, and it was still a little too early to go to sleep, you supposed a few more episodes couldn’t hurt. 
“If I fall asleep, just lock up on your way out, okay?” you looked over at him and he nodded as you started the next episode. 
Just as you predicted, about halfway through the second episode you began to drift off, and as soon as James noticed, he stopped the episode already having decided you could finish it together another time. 
He shifted you slightly so you were lying down on the couch instead of in the uncomfortable position you were in before, placing a blanket over top of you. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek, wishing you a good night before going to check on Liana, and after seeing she was sleeping soundly and the baby monitor was on, he saw himself out, taking your spare key from where it was hidden on the porch and locking the door. 
“How’s my girl doing?” James grinned, scooping Liana out of your arms. “I haven’t seen you in so long,” he kissed her nose making her giggle. 
“James, you were here two days ago,” you laughed. 
“And it feels like an eternity.”
You crossed your arms over your chest, “She’s got you wrapped around her finger.”
“I don’t mind,” he shrugged. “Just as long as we get to spend time together.”
“Yeah, well she hasn’t napped yet so it can wait until after that,” you reached to take her back but James insisted he could put her to sleep. “James, you just got off work are you sure you don’t want to eat something or take a break for a bit?”
“This is like a break for me,” he assured you. 
“Okay, I’m gonna make a salad, come out and eat when you’re done.”
James nodded and went off to the bedroom so he could sit on the armchair there and coax her to sleep. 
Usually he didn’t need more than twenty minutes to half an hour to put her down, so when you were hitting the forty-five minute mark you wondered if Liana was being fussy, so you went to check in on them, instead seeing James fast asleep on the armchair with Liana snuggled against his chest. 
You bit back a big smile and went to go grab your camera quickly, and quietly snapped a shot of the two of them. 
Not wanting to wake either of them, you made your way back to the kitchen, shutting the door of the room behind you to make sure the sound didn’t travel. 
Figuring it might be a while before James came back out, you decided to eat your dinner, that way you could take Liana from him when they woke up so he could get something to eat too. 
As you had predicted, James exited the room about an hour later, Liana now awake and hungry for her own dinner. 
“Want me to take her now?” you teased and he rolled his eyes while you took your baby from him, sitting on the couch to feed her while he grabbed himself something to eat. “You had a good nap?”
“Great actually, I think I needed it. Been pulling a lot of late nights at the office getting paperwork done,” he admitted. “I’m surprised you didn’t wake me.”
“You looked comfortable, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Well, I appreciate it cause I needed the sleep,” he sighed and came and sat next to you while he began to eat his dinner. 
“James, I…I tried to talk to him the other week,” you said, knowing he would be able to connect the dots back to your ex. “I’d been meaning to tell you, it just slipped my mind I guess.”
“You did…what did he say?”
“God, I’m gonna start crying again,” you let out a humourless chuckle and lifted a hand to wipe away the tears beginning to form in your eyes. “It doesn’t matter what he said. What matters is that it was probably good that we broke up. He wouldn’t have been a good father or husband for that matter when it came down to it.”
“I’m proud of you for reaching out anyways. It takes a lot of guts to do that after someone leaves you.”
You nodded your head, “I’m just…I know I said you should keep coming here because you want to, but I really do like having you around. It just makes it seem simpler. Easier,” you looked over at him. “You’re a good friend Jamie, I love you.”
“Love you too,” he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, watching as your attention turned back to your daughter as she finished feeding. 
You held her just like that in your arms for a little while longer, watching as she reached out for your fingers and then tried to go even further to grab James. Clearly her attention was addictive because he was ready to put his food down to help burp her, but you made a teasing remark about him hogging her and that he needed to eat his food so you’d take care of it and he could have her when he was done. 
Eventually, you traded Liana for James’ dishes and went to load the dishwasher while he kept her occupied, letting her gnaw on his tie while making all sorts of nonsensical baby noises that James took as conversation starters. 
It was funny to watch the two have what looked like a full blown conversation and you were sure James had been reading some parenting magazine or another that spoke of helping babies develop linguistic abilities. 
“Hey James,” you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning against the wall. 
“Yeah?”
“Do you want a key?”
“A key to what?” he looked at you confused. 
“The house,” you said. “I just thought since you’re here all the time you can come and go whenever you want and if you forget something and I’m out you can come get it yourself.”
“A key,” he thought about it. “This feels like a big milestone moment.”
“I mean I already have the key to your place, but that was because you refused to have anyone look after you after you got your wisdom teeth removed.”
“Wait, you have my key?” 
“Yeah, I just took yours and had it copied,” you shrugged. 
“I feel like I should be a bit more concerned about this, but I’m not.”
“It’s because you’re friends with House, you’re used to it,” you waved him off. 
“Liana, did you know your mom’s a thief?” he looked down at the baby in his arms and you rolled your eyes. 
“Do you want the key or not?” 
“I’ll take it, and I guess you can keep mine, but I’m never there anyways.”
“It’s okay, I’ll just use it if I need to steal your social insurance card to commit identity theft.”
“Liana banana, your mom’s being very silly tonight,” James picked her up and held her out in front of him before bringing her down to press a few kisses to her face, making her giggle. “It’s okay, we still love mommy even though she’s silly, right?”
“You better,” you flicked his shoulder as you walked by after grabbing an ice cream sandwich from the freezer. 
“Hey, I’ve got something in my bag I forgot to give you, do you mind bringing it over here?” James asked, motioning to the briefcase on the armchair closest to the front door. 
You nodded your head and stood up again to grab it and pass it to him. He rummaged through it with one hand while still holding Liana before passing you what looked like a receipt. 
“Uh thanks?” you looked a little confused. 
“Read what it’s for,” James chuckled. “They’ll get delivered next week.” 
“James,” you put the receipt down. “You didn’t.” 
“You’ve been talking about it for four months, I had to do something,” he shrugged. “And I didn’t get you anything for your baby shower.” 
“Because you planned it,” you laughed. “Seriously this is a lot. I don’t know if I can accept this.” 
“Just think of it this way. I’m here all the time, we like to go out with Liana together and it’s a great stroller with good safety ratings.” 
“Okay sure you’ll use that, but the cot too?” 
“The one you have in there’s been recalled, I was just doing you a favour,” he said. 
You chuckled a little, pressing your lips together. “Liana, my darling, we are very spoiled.” 
“I’ll come over when it gets delivered and help set it up,” James said. 
“I still don’t know what to say, James, this is…really generous of you.” 
“Believe me, right now nothing makes me happier, and I mean that,” he reached out a hand to you and you took it, giving it a gentle squeeze. 
As promised, the next week James was back at your home to help set up the stroller and the cot and you figured it would be the right time to pull out that camcorder your father had gotten you to help record some memories you were making with Liana. 
“Hey, James wanna tell the camera what you’re doing?” 
“Wondering why I didn’t get a degree in engineering apparently.” he mumbled while hunched over some instructions, a pencil behind his ear and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 
“What does your assistant think?” you moved the camera over to Liana, sitting in a rocking seat that was propped up next to James. 
“That this video isn’t going to be very good for my image in the future. This stuff is worse than IKEA,” he scratched the back of his head. 
“You’re doing great,” you assured him and came to give him an encouraging side hug. “Alright, let me stop this video and we can try and tackle it together.” 
You put the camera down on the bed and looked over the instructions with James, having a bit of an easier time piecing things together compared to him, so in the end you were put on deciphering the instructions while he assembled the cot. 
An embarrassing amount of time later, the cot was completely assembled (only after having to disassemble it all the first time because there was one piece left over and you had no idea what step you had missed using it), and you carefully placed Liana inside to see how it would hold up. 
“You know they say you can be proud of something you built with your own two hands, but I’m afraid this is going to fall apart,” James said. 
“We followed the instructions really carefully, it should be fine,” you said, trying to convince yourself. “And Liana looks comfortable in there, look at her she’s giggling.” 
“I think that’s because we look like we’ve been building a house or something,” he looked between you, seeing your dirty clothes and messed up hair. 
“Who knew putting together a cot would be so labour intensive,” you chuckled. “I think we can safely say we deserve some takeout. What do you want?” 
“Anything, I’m starving,” James sat down on the edge of the bed. “You think this will help her sleep a little better?” 
“Let’s hope so,” you rubbed your temples. “You coming?” you asked, taking Liana out of the cot and carrying her out towards the door. 
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute,” he nodded and you left him in the room, staring at the wooden baby’s bed in front of him. It was a simple thing you had both made together, but for James, it was starting to feel like so much more than just that. 
You built a cot, but what did building a cot mean? What did it mean that he bought it for you without a second question or a moment’s hesitation? What did it mean that he couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face every single time he stepped into this house? 
It probably meant a lot of things, but at the moment, to James, it felt like he had a family and he’d hold onto that for as long as he was able to. 
As much as you wished it could be, not every day was easy. Today was one of those days at the end of a long week and you wanted nothing more than to collapse and call it quits. 
Something was wrong with Liana, she was never this fussy, but all the doctors would just repeat the same thing over and over again. 
She has colic. 
You have a colic-y baby. 
Your baby has colic. She’s going to be fine.
She didn’t sound fine. Not when she would cry and cry and you didn’t know what was happening or how to make her feel better. It made your heart feel tight and constricted especially when all you could do was bounce and rock her in hopes that it might soothe whatever was going on inside her. 
You were so focused on the sounds of the crying baby you didn’t hear the door unlock as James entered the house. After putting down his bags, he followed the sound of the crying before finding you in the rocking chair in your room, gently hushing Liana to try and coax her back to sleep. 
“James,” you tried to stand up when you noticed he was there, but he rushed over to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder and encouraging you to sit back down. “I’m afraid we’re not really having a fun day today. You might want to just go home and rest,” you suggested. 
“What’s going on?” he asked. 
“James, I’m serious I-,” 
“Hey,” he said gently, quieting you as a hand came to hold your cheek. “Talk to me, mom. What’s happening?” 
You pressed your lips together and shook your head. 
“I don’t know,” you let the tears spill from your eyes, just as they were for Liana, but you basked in the comfort James’ simple action offered. “She just keeps crying and I don’t know what’s wrong. T-They kept saying she has colic, but this isn’t colic, James.” 
He nodded his head and wiped away your tears while trying to think of a solution to the problem in front of you. 
“I have an idea, just give me a second, I’ll be right back.” 
James went off to the kitchen and came back with a bit of a white powder on his finger. He helped you sit Liana up before getting her to eat a little bit of it. 
“What is that?” 
“Just baking soda. I saw this in a few babies. Doctors think it’s colic, but it’s reflux. Have you been eating anything different from usual?” he asked. 
“Me?” 
“Yeah, it might be something she’s allergic to getting in the breast milk,” he explained while rubbing Liana’s back. “Here let me take her so you can have a break. Go to the kitchen, get some water and write down a list of what you’ve been eating recently and we’ll go over it and see if we can find anything that lines up with her fussiness.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“I’ll survive,” he nodded. 
You passed over your baby to him and made your way out of the room, following James’ suggestion and noticing how with a little bit of time her crying had quieted down and instead was replaced by softer sniffles and a much nicer sound. It drew you away from the list you were leaning over and back to the door of the bedroom where you leaned in the frame and watched and listened while James, with his back turned to you, sang a soft lullaby to Liana. 
I love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.
Over and over like a prayer until Liana’s sniffles had faded and there was only silence. 
He carefully put her back in her bed, waiting a few moments to make sure she was really sleeping, before turning back and seeing you standing in the doorway. 
When he made his way up to you, you reached out and pulled him into as tight of a hug as you’d ever given him. You held onto the sleeves of your shirt while one arm came under his and across his back with the other around his neck, holding him as close to you as you possibly could. 
“You okay?” James asked and you nodded your head, silently while a few more tears streamed down your face. 
“I will be.” 
“I-,” James faltered for a moment, but he said it anyway. “I love you.” 
“I love you too.” 
Three words he had said so many times, that had meant a particular thing when he said them to you, but now he couldn’t help but feel like they meant something a little different. 
You both stayed like that a moment longer before you pulled apart, wiping away your tears and going back to your list to see if James’ theory could be correct. 
“Maybe try cutting these ones out of your diet,” he suggested. “See if she gets any better and if not call me and I’ll get her an appointment with one of the pediatricians at the hospital.” 
“Okay,” you nodded. “I just don’t get why they kept saying colic like is that just some doctor term for I don’t know what’s wrong, but your baby is fussy?” 
“I don’t know,” James shook his head, “but don’t ever let anyone bully you into not trusting your gut. She’s your daughter and you know her best.” 
“You seem to know her pretty well too. You took one look at her and managed to help her when I couldn’t,” you pinched the bridge of your nose. 
“Coincidence,” he patted your shoulder. 
“Give yourself a little credit. You’re with her a lot too, it’s part of why I trust your judgement so much when it comes to her. I know you’re not just going to tell me some medical mumbo jumbo you…you’re with her, you see how she is, you know.” 
“I don’t know how you managed to hold it together so well,” James said. “I was in there with her for twenty minutes and I wanted to cry right with her.” 
“It’s so hard,” you shook your head. “You can tell she’s uncomfortable, that something’s wrong, but she can’t tell you what.” 
James nodded his head, “Before you know it she’ll be walking and talking and hopefully it’ll be a lot easier to understand what she needs.” 
“It’s hard to imagine that,” you chuckled. “She is growing so fast though.” 
“And you’re doing a great job,” James wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you took a deep breath. You wanted to correct him and say ‘we’re doing a great job’, but everything about this felt so delicate. It wasn’t his responsibility to parent Liana and you didn’t want to pressure him into thinking that it had become that, but regardless you felt like he’d been around so much it would be wrong to give yourself full credit for everything. 
“It takes a village,” you settled on saying, extending your arm so it was wrapped around him as well. “Speaking of a village, I need to hire a nanny.” 
“So you’re going to go back to work?” he asked and you nodded. 
“Just part time for now. Pay is good enough. I should be fine with that for a while.” 
“Good,” James nodded. “Do you need help going through resumes?” 
“Nah, Janine is taking care of that for me, her boyfriend works with the police so free background checks. She’s gonna send me a short list and then I’ll interview them.” 
You looked up at James and chuckled, 
“You seem surprised.” 
“I didn’t know you outsourced to other people too,” he teased. 
“Are you jealous, Jamie?” you tickled his sides a little bit. “Come on, you know you’re my number one. Can you seriously tell me you could have gotten police-level background checks on nannies?” 
“I could have tried.” 
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m gonna save you from this job so you can help me with other stuff, okay?” you turned him around and patted his chest. “I love you, James, but you can’t do it all. I have to look out for you too.” 
“You don’t have to look after me,” he assured you. “You’ve got a lot on your plate, I can take care of myself.” 
“James, that’s the whole point of this,” you pointed between you. “I’m not about to let it be one-sided.” 
“Is that why you keep packing me lunches?” he asked. 
“Maybe,” you shrugged. “And it's kind of fun leaving you little notes.” 
“House thinks I’m seeing someone because of what you put in the last one. He steals my food, you know.” 
“I’ll just pack double next time,” you laughed. 
James smiled at the sound of your laughter, savouring the moment of levity he was able to bring you after a long and hard few days. 
You looked back up at him once your laughter had died down and filled with a quiet sense of gratitude, you could help but lean into his side, sighing contentedly and it made you feel warm to the touch when his arm wrapped around you and pulled you in closer. 
Things may not have been simple or easy, but at least they felt right.
James was just about to leave his office to get some food in the cafeteria when he heard the phone ring, keeping him seated at his desk so he could answer. 
“Hello, Oncology Department. Dr. James Wilson speaking.”
“James, it’s me,” you said quickly, almost like you were in a hurry. 
“Is something wrong?” he asked. 
“Nothing dire,” you sighed. “My nanny got sick and my backup nanny is out of town and I have this huge meeting at work I cannot miss, but I-I don’t have anyone to look after Liana. I hate to ask this, you know I wouldn’t bug you unless it was a real emergency, but can I bring her by? Just for two maybe three hours tops. Then I’ll come grab her and she can be in my office with me for the rest of the day.”
“Yeah, of course, bring her over,” James nodded. “I have a few patient consults today, but nothing too strenuous or contagious for a small baby.”
“James, are you sure? I feel really bad asking-,”
“It’s fine. Today was going to be boring anyway, I could use some Liana time to spice things up.”
“James, I love you, you’re a lifesaver,” you breathed a sigh of relief. “I owe you one okay? Cash it in whenever.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna go grab a quick bite to eat. I’ll meet you in my office when you come.”
“Great, see you then.”
You both hung up and when James came back upstairs you were just arriving at his office with Liana strapped in her car seat and a bag slung around your shoulder. 
“Okay, I’ve got snacks, and a carrier, and her toys, and-,”
“Goodness, take a breath,” James chuckled. “We’re gonna be fine, I’ve looked after her before.” 
“I know, I know. I’m just nervous about this meeting and rushing around to get everything prepped and then the nannies fell through,” you took a deep breath to try and slow your heart down and James put a hand on your shoulder assuring you everything was going to be alright. 
“You’re gonna kill it at that meeting, alright?” he pulled you in for a quick hug. 
“Thanks again, I seriously appreciate and love you and your big fat heart.” 
“Thanks, I think,” he chuckled again. “I love you too.”
You kissed your hand and tapped it on his cheek before doing the same for Liana who smiled and James took a moment to stare out the door and watch you as you left the room, still feeling his heart beating a little faster after having said I love you. 
Ever since the day he came over when Liana was having a hard time, his heart would race and his palms would get sweaty every time he’d say those three words, knowing he meant it in a different way than he had been saying it all these years. 
“Liana banana, what am I gonna do,” James sighed and bent down so he was at eye level with her. “Do you think your mom knows?”
Liana babbled a response. 
“Me neither,” he sighed. “It’s okay though, cause we’re gonna have a fun day right?”
He unclipped her from the seat after fastening the baby carrier to his back to begin with before propping her up and clipping her inside. 
Once he was content with that, he checked the time and noticed he was almost late for a meeting with a patient who was staying at the hospital for treatment. 
James made his way down the halls, knowing not many would question him about the baby on his back, that was aside from his boss who now seemed to be walking directly towards him. 
He quickly took a detour into an empty room and thinking he lost her, let out a breath only to be startled when the door opened and Cuddy was standing in front of him. 
“Wilson,” she started. 
“Mhmm.”
“What’s on your back?” she asked, trying to get a better look, but James simply turned around.
“Oh it’s just a backpack,” he lied, only to be immediately ratted out by Liana’s nonsensical sounds. 
“You have a talking backpack?” Cuddy looked at him skeptically. 
“No, it’s a tumour. I’m dying,” he lied again, even more poorly than before.
Cuddy sighed, “Are we gonna get sued for it?” 
James pressed his lips together and shook his head. 
“Will someone get mad at you for it?”
He shook his head again.
“Is House involved?”
A third time. 
“Okay,” she nodded slowly. “I won’t question your…talking backpack tumour.”
James nodded his head and Cuddy left the room which hopefully meant he was in the clear for the rest of the day. 
Liana had other ideas and decided she didn’t like being in the carrier on his back anymore and began to cry. James wondered what was different, he’d done this with her before, but perhaps it was the new environment and she just wanted to be where she could see him.
So after some maneuvering, he changed the positioning of the carrier and put Liana back inside and she seemed much more relaxed afterwards. 
When he got to his patient he apologized for being late, but they were more focused on the child that James had yet to introduce. 
“Sorry, I’m a little all over the place right now,” he chuckled. “This is Liana, she’s going to be joining us today.”
“Is she your daughter?” he asked, seeing the way James smiled and held her when he introduced her. 
“No,” James shook his head. “She’s the daughter of one of my close friends. I’m just doing her a favour today.”
“Either way, it’s always nice to see someone smiling and happy around here.”
“Yeah, I thought so too,” James nodded. 
“How old is she?”
“Six months as of two weeks ago.”
“They grow fast, don’t they?”
James smiled and nodded, “They sure do.”
They continued their consult, and before long James wrapped things up and headed back to his office to meet with another patient. 
This time around he was feeding and burping Liana throughout the meeting and it felt so much like second nature to him, it didn’t take him away at all from the questions the patient was asking, and much like he expected, having a baby in the room was a nice distraction from the heavy subject matter. 
He got through the next few patients with ease, and he felt lucky that House only decided to come in after all his meetings were over. 
“Is that a baby?” House squinted, looking at Liana who was calmly playing with a toy in James’ lap. 
“No, it���s an alien,” he deadpanned and House ignored his comment. 
“Why do you have a baby? That must be breaking some hospital rule.”
“Since when do you care about rules?”
“Cause rules are there to protect us,” House said sarcastically. “Is this the one you spend all your free time with?”
“Her name is Liana,” James said while standing up and moving to put her in her car seat for a moment. “House, I’m gonna ask you to do something and I’m going to trust that you won’t blow this up in my face.”
“Go on.”
“I need to use the washroom, but you’ve seen the way they get cleaned here, I don’t want to bring Li with me,” he said. “Can you watch her for five minutes? You don’t even have to do anything, just stare at her in the carrier.”
House thought about it for a moment before eventually agreeing, James completely oblivious to his friend’s ulterior motive.
House first sat across from her, turning her car seat around on the table so it was facing him. They stared at each other for a few moments before House stood up and grabbed a picture from one of James’ shelves, sitting back down in front of her. 
“You’re probably too young to do this, but never too young to learn, right?”
Liana had no response. 
“You see this guy?” House pointed to James in the photo. “He’s dada, right?”
House continued to prompt her, even though he knew she was too young to speak, thinking this would make a great prank if he played his cards right. 
House continued to go back and forth with Liana between her babbles, until he heard James begin to open the door of the office. 
“Everything okay?” he asked. 
“Perfect,” House nodded. “Your daughter’s an angel.” 
James frowned, unable to tell if House was being sarcastic or not, but he was quickly distracted by the frame in his hand.
“Why do you have that picture?” James came closer and took it from him.
“Oh, just trying to pass the time with a story.” 
“The story of what exactly? This is just a picture of me with my parents.” 
“I don’t know I made something up, she’s a baby, she won’t remember,” House insisted before leaving the office before James could ask any more questions. 
A little confused by the encounter, he made his way over to Liana who was reaching out for him. 
He checked the time, seeing as your meeting should probably have been over by then and decided to give you a call. 
“Hey, I was just about to come and pick Liana up,” you said. 
“Yeah, about that, do you just want to leave her with me for the rest of the day?” he asked. “She’s been really good and honestly I think the patients have been loving seeing a baby around.” 
“James, it’s fine, my meeting is over. I can come get her,” you said. 
James pressed his lips together before gathering the nerve to say what he was going to say. 
“I actually would really like it if she could stay with me,” he said. “If you’re okay with it.”
You paused, “This isn’t just some round about way for you to find a way to give me a break?” you asked. 
“No, I’m really happy she’s here. I was going to come over after work anyways.” 
“You still have the car seat hookup in your car?” you asked and he confirmed. “Okay, call me if you need anything, Jamie.” 
“I will, and thank you.” 
“Just don’t break her, okay, she’s not replaceable,” you teased. 
“I’ll bring her back in one piece,” James chuckled. “We’ll be fine, right Li?” 
James gave her a little tickle so that you could hear her laugh in response and you couldn't help but smile before saying goodbye and feeling more at ease leaving her with James than you ever had leaving her with a babysitter. 
It always felt interesting coming back to Princeton-Plainsboro after you had given birth to Liana. It brought back a lot of memories, both good and maybe not so great of your pregnancy, but recently you and Liana had been visiting a little more often to have lunch with James when you weren’t working. 
Today wasn’t one of those days, you were actually just on your way back home after running a few errands and since you were in the area you thought you might stop in and talk to James about that evening. 
When you went by his office you peeked inside and noticed he wasn’t there and before you could decide the best course of action, you heard a semi familiar voice behind you. 
“You looking for Wilson?” 
You turned around and saw House standing in front of you. 
“Yeah, actually. Do you know where he is?” 
“I think he just went to Cuddy’s office,” he said. 
“Alright, I’ll head back downstairs then,” you smiled and were about to haul Liana’s car seat with you, but House stopped you. 
“If you want I can look after her in my office,” he said.
“Really?” you seemed a little surprised from the offer, but figured it couldn’t be too bad to leave her with him for five minutes. 
“Sure,” House nodded, making it seem like it was no big deal, when really he had already pocketed a picture of James and was looking for another opportunity to continue his prank. 
“Alright, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” you said while walking over to his office and putting her car seat on the main table before walking down the hallways and over to the elevator to go and find James, but just to your luck, he was coming out just as you had planned to enter. “Hey, I was looking for you,” you smiled. 
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were coming, did we make plans?” he asked, worried he’d forgotten about something. 
“No, I was just in the area and, well my mom and dad are coming over for dinner tonight, I was wondering if you wanted to join us.” 
“Dinner sounds nice,” James nodded. “And I haven’t seen your parents in a while, I just seem to miss them every time they come into town.” 
“Yeah, that’s why I thought I’d ask, also maybe as a warning in case you wanted to get as far away as you could,” you chuckled. 
“Come on, they’re not that bad,” he nudged you. 
“Most of the time, but then again, you’re not their child.” 
“Wait, where’s Liana?” James asked. “With a sitter at home?” 
“No, I left her with House.” 
James’ eyes went wide, “You left her with House?”
“Yeah, what’s the big deal?” you chuckled as James began to walk towards House’s office to make sure he wasn’t up to one of his many schemes. “James he offered!” you called back and that only made him walk faster. 
It took you a minute to catch up with him, but by that time he was already interrogating House who was simply sitting in front of Liana. 
“Can't I offer to look after my friend’s friend’s baby?” House asked. 
“Usually someone could, but when that person is you you may see why I think you have some ulterior motive.” 
“James what’s going on?” you asked, coming closer to House. “Liana’s fine, I don’t know why you’re being so dramatic.” 
“Yeah, listen to single mom over here,” he pointed to you. 
James backed off if only for your sake, but he still kept a close eye on House as you picked up Liana’s car seat and told James you’d see him after his shift was over. 
He nodded his head and you exchanged a kiss on the cheek before heading out. 
“You’re really telling me you’re not getting some of that on the side?” House asked. 
“House, drop it,” James was unamused. “I know you’re up to something, I just don’t know what.” 
“I guess you’re just going to have to wait and find out,” House shrugged. “In the meantime may I suggest you go get your freak on with the mom? You know she probably hasn’t slept with anyone since that kid was conceived, I’m sure you’d have an easy time convincing her.” 
“Shut up, House,” James rolled his eyes and left the office before he could suggest anything more obscene. 
He was thankful when the end of his shift came, and before heading to your place he made a stop at the store to buy some flowers and dessert to bring over. 
By this point, it was such a habit, he never knocked, just opened the door with his key and announced his presence to whoever was in the house. 
“Hey Liana, look who’s here,” you smiled and pointed to James while Liana was being held by your mother. 
Liana became very excited at the sight of him and he quickly put down the things he brought on the table before saying his greetings and giving special attention to Liana by means of a kiss on her nose and caress of her face. 
“Do you want something to drink?” you asked. “Mom and dad brought some fancy-looking sparkling fruit juice.” 
“I could go for some of that,” James nodded. “How have you guys been, I missed you the last time you were in town.” 
“We’ve been good,” your dad nodded. 
“Unfortunately our granddaughter doesn’t come to visit us very much,” your mom gave you a bit of a look and you rolled your eyes. 
“Mom, you guys are retired, I have a job, why don’t we keep this ‘you visit me’ arrangement a while longer until my life sorts itself out a bit more.” 
“She’s not wrong, honey,” your dad came and patted his wife’s shoulder. 
“I know, I just wish we got to see Liana more. We should come down more often.” 
“What about you, James, anything new in your life?” 
James looked over at you before shaking his head. 
“No, still working at the same place still…” 
“Trying to find the right person,” you filled in for him, placing a hand on his shoulder and handing him his drink. 
“Yeah,” he nodded with a soft smile and couldn’t help but laugh a little internally at the irony. Maybe the right person had been there all along, the person he’d never once pulled away from, the person he let take care of him, the person who he’d realized he’d most definitely fallen in love with, but risking things between you was out of the question so he would have to be content with the way things were. 
“You’re the head of your department, right?” your mom asked and James nodded. “Wow, that’s quite something, your parents must be proud of you.” 
“Yes, it never fails to come up in conversation with my mother,” he chuckled. 
Liana began to fuss a little bit in her grandmother’s arms and after a few failed attempts at calming her down James offered to take over. 
“Are you sure, honey?” she asked. “She gets a bit cranky and it’s hard to calm her down.” 
“Don’t worry mom, James is an expert,” you assured her. 
James nodded and confirmed he was sure before gently bouncing Liana until she stopped crying and wiping away whatever tears of hers were remaining. 
“She seems very attached to you,” your dad remarked and James looked down at Liana who now had her head resting against his chest. 
“The feeling’s quite mutual,” James chuckled. “Does she need to be fed?” he asked you. 
“Yeah we’re probably getting close to that time now, I’ll warm up the bottle. Maybe I can feed her and you can deal with the sauce on the stove, it’s missing something and I can’t place it.” 
“Sure,” James nodded and waited for you to heat up Liana’s bottle before passing her over and taking a turn at the stove. 
Your parents watched your interactions curiously and shared a few looks between themselves, but chose to say nothing. They’d known James since you were both nineteen and a lot of things had happened since then, but a lot of time had passed too. It was interesting how your comfort with each other in friendship had so naturally extended itself in this way that you were practically functioning as a family whether you noticed it, or maybe deliberately chose to ignore it. 
After you fed Liana and burped her, she was quick to fall asleep and you placed her in her cot in your room before joining James and your parents in the kitchen where they were bringing things to the dining room to lay them out on the table.
“This looks really delicious sweetheart, thank you for making dinner,” your dad said. “And you too James for taking over there in the home stretch.” 
“For all we know it could have tasted terrible before he came in so he can take the credit for that,” you chuckled. 
“No, I gave it a taste before adding anything. It just needed a little something sour to balance some things out, otherwise it was perfect,” he assured you. 
Dinner with your parents was mostly small talk. They shared a little about some of your relatives they had recently spoken to or visited and asked James how his family was doing and they left fairly early to start the drive back home. 
“I’ll load the dishes you put away the leftovers?” James yawned and you chuckled. 
“How about I do both since I had a day off and you go and lay down for a bit,” you suggested. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about I’m fine,” James waved his hand but yawned again. 
“Go to sleep, James. That’s not a suggestion,” you walked up to him. “My ex left some sweatpants here you can change into those and take off this button up,” you tugged at his shirt. 
James pressed his lips together and nodded his head, before heading over to the bedroom and quietly getting changed before climbing into bed and not fighting the sleep that came. 
He initially wasn’t sure how much later it was when he woke up, but by the looks of it much too late to go come considering you were next to him, despite being groggy, he had a million and one things crossing his mind, but all of those were thrown out when he heard Liana begin to cry. 
You shifted next to him, waking up to go and take care of it, but James put an arm on your shoulder. 
“I’ve got it, go back to sleep,” he assured you. 
You were too tired to argue with him and let your head hit the pillow again while he stood up and picked Liana up from her crib, heading out to the kitchen so he could heat up a bottle for her before coming back and sitting in the chair to feed her. 
You watched the scene in front of you and you felt yourself wanting to memorize every detail. How he held her, the quiet things he whispered, the way she curled into his arms while he stood up and rocked her back to sleep. 
When he came back to the bed he noticed you were awake and he let out a soft chuckle and you smiled looking up at him with his messy hair. Suddenly you were nineteen again and banging on the door of cabin 3 trying to wake your fellow counsellor to come and deal with an emergency. To you he looked the same as he did all those years ago. 
“I told you to go back to sleep.” 
“Not everyone can fall asleep instantly,” you yawned with a chuckle. 
“You didn’t wake me up to leave,” he said quietly, his head resting on his hand that propped him up. 
“You always look so peaceful when you sleep, I feel evil whenever I have to wake you up,” you remarked, but behind your eyes if he could see through the darkness of the room, he would have seen them saying something else. That you wanted him to stay, you didn’t want to wake him up because you wanted to wake up next to him. “You don’t mind do you?” 
“That you’re making me do the walk of shame in the morning?” James teased and shook his head. 
“Just shut up and go back to sleep, Jamie,” you yawned with a chuckle. 
He moved so he was laying down on his back with an arm behind his head and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. Maybe he could feel you staring because he reached his other arm out and pulled you closer and you moved with him until your head rested against his chest, your arm draped over top of him. 
He gave you a gentle squeeze with the arm that was wrapped around you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 
“Goodnight, Jamie,” you mumbled into his shirt. 
You couldn’t see how he looked down and smiled at you after you said that, all that filled your ears was a quiet, “Goodnight.”
“I haven’t seen you in a few days, how have you been?” 
James sat on the carpet of the living room, playing with Liana who was crawling around him while you brought over two mugs of tea so you could chat while you entertained the growing baby. 
“Good for the most part, just had a patient who wasn’t doing so great so I spent some extra time at the hospital to keep an eye on things. Not to mention House has been bugging me to go out and it’s been a while so I figured what’s the harm.”
“He got you plastered and you made a fool of yourself, didn’t he?” you asked and James nodded while you laughed. “Liana, did James go out with House and act like an idiot?” you tickled the ten month old and she giggled before coming closer to you, tapping on your legs with her hands. 
“Don’t listen to your mama, Li, she’s trying to-,”
“Mama,” Liana repeated after James had spoken and you both stopped dead in your tracks. 
You looked over at James and his smile was just as wide as yours before you picked Liana up and smothered her with kisses. 
“Liana, look at you! You said your first word!”
“Good job, Liana banana,” James grinned and gave her cheek a little pinch which made her reach out to him and say, 
“Dada.”
You both had a similar reaction to what happened moments ago, only this time it was pure shock. Maybe you had misheard her, but when she repeated herself, James could feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. 
“I-I don’t know where she learnt that from,” he told you. “I swear I didn’t teach her that.”
It took a minute for the shock to fade away for you, but once it did you tried to assure James that it was okay. 
“I believe you,” you said. “I-I don’t know where she picked it up from, but it’s okay.”
James chewed on his lip, it wasn’t okay though because he wanted nothing more than to hear Liana say that again. 
“It’s not though,” James said softly. “I love her, but I’m not her dad. That’s not fair to her or to you.”
“Jamie,” you pleaded with him, but he still seemed stuck on something. 
“I’m really sorry,” he apologized again. “I feel like I ruined a special moment.”
“I’m trying to tell you it really doesn’t matter,” you assured him, you could see it in his eyes, he wanted to leave, to let you have time alone, but you didn’t want to be alone, you wanted him to stay with you. “Please…please stay.”
James reached out his hand to hold yours and was about to give you his answer when his pager went off. 
Your heart clenched and you watched as he read the message and sighed, standing up because he was needed again at the hospital. 
“Your patient?” you asked, picking Liana up and standing next to him. 
He nodded his head, “They were scheduled for an unrelated surgery and there were some complications, I have to go.”
You understood and James wrapped you in a tight hug and you kissed his cheek. 
“I love you, Jamie.”
“I love you too,” he whispered, wishing he could hold onto you and never let you go, but instead he was pulled away from your warm embrace wondering how on earth Liana had learnt to call him dad. 
“You look like you haven’t slept in days, spending time with the baby again?” House asked, waltzing into James’ office. 
“No, I haven't been over in a few days,” James shook his head. 
“You haven’t been over in a few days…Something happened,” House deduced and James gave him a look. 
“Nothing happened. I’m just taking a break,” he lied. 
“You’ve been going non-stop to spend time with them since the baby was born ten months ago, why do you need a break now?” 
“Because I have a lot on my mind and there’s a few new patients I need to focus on-,” 
“You’re lying.” 
“Yes I am,” James admitted and House grinned. 
“Really?” 
“No, I’m not,” he shook his head and continued to look down and do his work. 
“We do this every single time and every single time I’m right,” House said. “Why don’t we save the back and forth for another time and just skip to the part where you tell me what’s going on.” 
“Oh really and you were right that time you thought I was cheating on my wife and she was the one cheating on me?” he asked. 
“Okay, so I’m not perfect,” House shrugged. “What happened, Wilson? I could just as easily get your friend’s number and ask directly if that’s what you’d prefer.” 
“God no,” James shook his head. “Leave her alone, she doesn’t need to deal with you on top of working and raising a child.” 
“Alright then, what happened?” 
James took a deep breath and sighed, “Liana called me dad the other day. I have no idea where she learnt it from.” 
“She started speaking,” House nodded, pressing his lips together. “Was it her first word or-,” 
“Second. She said mom first,” James said, but caught a glimpse of his friend trying to fight back a smile and suddenly all the offers to take care of Liana paired with the photographs made sense. “You taught her!” he exclaimed. “House I can’t believe you’d pull a prank on me by manipulating my friend’s baby!” 
“Oh come on, it’s not that big of a deal,” House rolled his eyes. 
“House, I cannot believe you!” 
“You’re not mad at me,” House shook his head. “You’re just mad you liked it.” 
“No I’m-,” 
“Yes, you are,” the diagnostician emphasized. “You’ve been sitting here tearing yourself apart for the past four days because she called you dad and you liked it. You’re mad at yourself for liking it because she’s not your kid.” 
“No,” James quieted down. “She’s not.” 
“You haven’t gone back because you’re afraid to hear her say it again, aren’t you?” 
“Since when did you become an expert on my personal problems, House? You caused this, why should I listen to anything you have to say?” 
“Because you’re being an idiot. You’re punishing yourself for liking something. Do you realize how insane that sounds?” 
“It’s not insane, House, she’s not my baby-,” 
“Sure, she’s not your baby and you have her feeding and nap routine memorized. You’ve been to her doctor's appointments, she’s calmer in your arms than she is in the arms of her grandparents. Yeah, go and tell that to any moron sitting out there and they’ll tell you for me, you’re being an idiot.” 
James sighed again, “And why do you care?” 
“Because once you’re done with this spiral we can go back to the way things were when you weren’t a boring depressed lump.” 
“How kind of you,” James faked a smile. 
House’s pager went off, leaving James alone again in his office, thinking about what his friend had said. 
You’d told him so many times that things were okay, but maybe a part of him didn’t want to let him believe that you didn’t mind because that was a slippery slope to him facing himself and his feelings and he didn’t care what his heart was telling him, he wouldn’t put himself through that. He wouldn’t put you and Liana through that. But at the same time, he couldn’t keep himself away forever. He didn’t want that either.
So with a deep breath he picked up his office phone and dialled your number, putting it up to his ear and waiting for the line to connect on the other end. 
“Hello?” 
“Hey, it’s me.” 
“James,” your voice sounded almost relieved. “H-Hey, how are you?” 
He pressed his lips together, “Miserable, actually. I miss you guys.” 
“We miss you too,” you chuckled with a small sniffle. 
“C-Can I come over for dinner tonight?” he asked. 
“You still have a key, what do you think?” you asked with a bit of a laugh. “I’ll see you tonight.” 
“Yeah, see you then,” James smiled and after he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, his fast heartbeat slowing down by the second. 
Maybe this time House was right.
The next few weeks passed by and things resumed to their normal state, much to House’s delight. James’ role as department head always meant at least one day a week where he would stay late and do some extra paperwork, dealing with anything that may have slipped through the cracks before. 
This time, that had fallen on a Sunday and it was just past dinner when he heard a knock on his door and wondering who was on the other end he called for them to come in. 
You opened the door a crack and again asked permission to come in and James smiled at you, looking up from his paperwork, not expecting to see you in the hospital. 
“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you here, what’s going on?” 
“I just wanted to drop by and bring you something for dinner, I know it’s your paperwork day.” 
“Thanks, that’s really sweet of you,” he stood up from his chair and came to stand in front of his desk, leaning back on it while you placed the take out bag on the table. “Where’s Liana?” 
“Oh Helen’s looking after her tonight,” you said. “I had a few things I needed to do and um just wanted the evening off,” you admitted. 
“Fair enough,” James nodded. 
“I actually brought you something else,” you rolled back and forth on the balls of your feet and James noticed the tension in your stature. “H-Here,” you handed him a gift bag which he eyed curiously. 
Today wasn’t his birthday or some memorable event you celebrated together. There wasn’t much of a reason to get him a present which made it all the more intriguing. 
He pulled out a wrapped rectangular box from the bag, and putting the bag aside he began to carefully tear away the wrapping paper to reveal what looked like a picture frame. Overlaid on the frame, on top of the photo, James noticed a card which he unfolded to read its contents. 
Happy Father’s Day. We love you loads. - Liana and Mom
James moved the card to see the picture and put his hand over his mouth, feeling tears involuntarily form in his eyes as he saw the familiar scene of your room, lit by the light of your lamp as Liana was fast asleep against his chest while he napped on the armchair. 
James quickly wiped away the few tears that were in his eyes and looked up at you with a grateful smile, looking back down at the image before placing it neatly on his desk along with the card. 
“I hope you like it,” you said quietly, biting your lip. “I thought you might want to have a copy of that picture and…you know just a thank you for everything you’ve done for me and Liana this past year.” 
“I love it,” he assured you. “I-I love it and I love you.” 
“I love you too,” you smiled.
“N-No,” James came closer and reached out, taking your hands in his. “I…I love you. I’m in love with you.” 
“Jamie,” you spoke in a breathy whisper, unsure of how you lost your voice. “I-,” you opened your mouth to speak again, but paused when James raised a hand to your face, wiping away the tears you didn’t even notice had begun to stream down. 
“I just don’t want to be away from you, ever,” he said softly. “I never did. And now with Liana, I want to be there, for all of it.” 
You held the wrist of his hand that held your face, pulling him in closer so your foreheads rested against each other. 
You took in a shaky breath, thinking back on those words. Something you’d been saying to each other for longer than you could remember. The first time was so clear in your mind, you were on the phone racking up long distance charges while James was in Montreal. It had slipped out by accident, a reflex, and you had convinced yourself when the phone had hung up you’d never call him back, unable to face what you’d just said, but before you could spiral any further, he said it back and you never stopped saying it.
For the longest time that was the only occurrence that was memorable, everything else was a blur, that was until a few months ago. It was so simple, you had fallen asleep on the couch and James had made sure Liana was fed and bathed and even cleared up some things in the kitchen before sitting on the couch with some tea and a book. You had talked and said I love you as a thank you, but when the words left your mouth they also left a lingering airiness in your heart, a feather light feeling that came crashing down like an anvil when he left to go home because you realized you never wanted to be apart from him.
It took you a few moments to realize you hadn’t said anything and James was anxiously waiting for some sort of communication, anything, but since the meaning of your words had changed, for both of you, you thought it might be more conducive to work in actions.
You closed in the space between you, at first gently resting your lips on his and letting him lead you in a soft and slow kiss, putting aside all the restraint you both had been using these past months in an effort to protect your friendship.
One of James’ hands held onto your waist, pulling you in so that there was no space left between you. He kissed you again and again, remembering each one as a core memory, engraved in his mind, paired with the feeling of your arms wrapped around his neck, the feeling of your body pressed so closely against his, his heart beating outside of his chest. 
It was easy for his lips to trail away from yours, moving along your jaw, to your temple before you had pulled each other into a warm embrace, simply existing in each other’s arms. James thought to himself what a nice life it would be, not ever having to pull away. 
“I don’t have much to say,” James smiled. “Everything is looking good, you still seem 100% healthy to me.” 
“That’s great news.” 
“It definitely is. Standard procedure, but we’ll have one more of these remission follow ups to make sure everything is still in order then you hopefully won’t have to see me again.” 
“Thank you Dr. Wilson, I really appreciate all you’ve-.” 
“Dad!” 
“Sweetheart, wait he’s with a patient!” 
James turned his head and saw Liana running over to him, you valiantly trying to chase after her without much success. 
He quickly scooped her up in his arms before she crashed into him, pressing a big kiss to her cheek. 
“Sorry about that,” James apologized. “It’s Saturday, we normally have lunch together.” 
“No worries,” he chuckled. 
“Liana, this is my patient Mr. Kimbilio, can you say hi?” 
Liana waved and said hi, very exuberantly. 
“This is my daughter,” James introduced. “And that’s my wife,” he pointed over to you. 
“Daughter,” Mr. Kimbilio smiled. “I think I met you Liana, when you were very small. Your father was looking after you at work and so some of his patients got to meet you.” 
“Really?” she looked up at her dad and he nodded. 
“He’s right, I remember that,” James smiled. “You’ve grown a lot since then, haven’t you Li,” he kissed her cheek again and she giggled.
You finally caught up to the group and James greeted you with a quick kiss, passing Liana off to you so he could wrap things up and you could all go down to the cafeteria for lunch together. 
“If I remember correctly,” Mr. Kimbilio started. “You didn’t introduce her as your daughter the first time we met. I’m glad something changed.” 
“Me too,” James smiled, looking over at his wife and daughter fondly who were now in the midst of making him very proud by pulling off a small prank on House as he came out of his office. 
It didn’t take much longer for them to wrap things up and you and Liana made a quick pit stop inside James’ office before heading downstairs.
Liana went to go sit in James’ seat while he put away his files and organized them. 
It had been a while since you’d been in his office, but it felt like ever since the night you first kissed things had begun to change in the room. 
His desk was now more littered with photos than knickknacks and Liana’s artwork was posted wherever there was room. 
You came around to the other side, looking a little more closely at the pictures. 
There was one of you, James, and Liana on your wedding day, another of just the two of you during an anniversary celebration, Liana’s kindergarten photo from school and another one of you as a family on your last vacation. And still as prominent as ever, the framed photo you had gifted James on his first father’s day. 
“You ready to go?” he asked you, looking up and noticing your eyes gazing at the pictures on his desk. 
When you didn’t initially respond, too focused on what you were looking at, James wrapped an arm around you and tilted your chin towards him so he could press a kiss to your lips.
“I love you,” you smiled and James kissed you again, saying.
“And I love you,” before moving over to pick up Liana and kiss her cheek. “And you.”
Liana giggled, feeling tickled by the kisses and moving to give both of you a kiss on the cheek before saying. 
“Mom, Dad, I’m starving. Can we go eat now?”
“Sure, Liana banana,” James chuckled and you wrapped an arm around him, walking side by side out of the office and in the direction of the elevator to get to the cafeteria, thinking you were pretty lucky that in the end, your best friend listened to his heart and went after what he wanted.
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TAGLIST —
@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter @kiddbegins @il0vebeingdelulu @illicit4ff4irs @lynnsthoughts @miarabanana @iwmflbb @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey @sarcasm-and-stiles @sun-flower-mad @x-uno @han11dh @qardasngan @alexxavicry
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thisthatpinkvenom · 1 year
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GIVE HER A LITTLE POW-POW ON HER BABYMAKER
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BUSINESSMAN!SAN / HOUSEWIFE!FEM READER
⤏ Synopsis: What Bibi said in "Automatic" but make it domestic.
⤏ Genre(s): drabble*, smut smut smuttity smut but I think it's kinda cute(?) 😗
⤏ Content: rich married couple!au, established relationship!au, non-idol!au, housewife!fem reader who knows how to cook (sorry to anyone who's not a MasterChef)
⤏ NSFW Warning(s): just straight up fucking, unprotected, breeding kink but it's more than a kink, creampie, light choking, light dirty talk, soft dom!San (my knees are weak), lots of swearing left and right, lots of yearning and pet names and it's kinda lovey-dovey but hey, what else do you expect from me at this point
⤏ Note*: this content is completely fictional.
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"Ngh...l-let me make you feel g-good."
"Trust me; you already are..."
Earlier that evening, the familiar jingling of keys as the elevator doors opened and signaled San's arrival. His bag dropped to the floor with a thud before he stripped himself of his coat and undid his tie with a grimace on his face. He looked irritable, though the lines on his forehead ceased to be visible when he'd heard your feet padding across the floor to carry you into his embrace. A sequence of small and innocent pecks progressed into longing kisses and relieved sighs. And before you knew it, you were in the nude and on your bed, getting the pounding you'd been daydreaming of all day.
The bed never ceased its squeaking as your husband fucked you from behind. With your hand's iron grip on the headboard—that further continued to dig the dent in the wall deeper—your thighs trembled under all the weight you stressed onto your knees. Your back was flush against his abdomen, skin sticking with his through sheens of sweat. You were fortunate to live in a penthouse that offered you more privacy and freedom to fuck like rabbits, or else you would've received a very heated complaint for the incessant banging on your wall alone.
"This bed's f-fucking annoying," he grunted, frustration communicated through his hand which squeezed your breast in its clutch. "Need a new one, for fuck's s-sake."
You'd never voiced your complaints about the bed frame before, its sensitivity to any movement you made becoming a nuisance to your ears. You wanted to discuss going out and buying a new one but the right time hadn't come yet. Frankly, San had too much packed into his schedule, and you didn't want to pile any more things on his to-do list.
"I-I've been—ah—wanting t-to talk to you about t-that…"
Gradually, his thrusts became tamer until he stopped. The hand on your breast fell to your hip as he sat back on his heels, pulling you with him in the process. Your heart's drumming in your ears and you're trying to catch up with your own breath.
You didn't need to see to know the frown that made its way to his face. "Sannie—"
"And why am I only hearing this now?"
"You're so busy, and I didn't want to bother you. It wasn't a big deal, anyway," you reasoned.
His nose brushed the nape of your neck before he placed an open-mouthed kiss on your collarbone. "Mm, that's silly. Your concerns are my concerns. You should know that already, Baby."
Thank God, you were sitting. Otherwise, you would've melted to your knees if he kept this up. Fuck.
"I'll always try to make room for you," he continued, "no matter how hard it may be." His words melted under the soft sucks his lips made on your neck, his fingers having found your clit to toy with. "How about we go get a new one, this weekend? Then I can fuck you without all the noise."
Your walls clenched around his cock, earning a hiss and a chuckle vibrating on your skin.
"Ride me."
You set a steady pace when you began to work yourself on his lap, the squeaking commencing once again with every bounce you made on his cock. Despite the very vocal bed frame, the squelching from between your thighs couldn't be ignored either—the wet, little mess that your husband liked to play around with so much.
His other hand made its way up to your neck, his thumb and fingers gently pressing themselves into either side. The pressure had your eyes seeing black while your hands searched for his wrists, nimble fingers enclosing around them for any sense of stability. You really needed release, the flesh of your ass and thighs rippling with each hard smack against him.
"One day, I'll make time to put a baby in you. My baby," he rasped, the grip on your neck stiffening for a brief moment. "Ah, fuck…how does that s-sound, Honey?"
You clenched your teeth, eyes squeezed shut at the mention of being knocked up. And when you thought you couldn't be any more wetter, he'd proven you wrong.
"Oh, my God…d-don't say things you don't mean, Baby," you whined.
The pads of his fingers pressed deeper on your clit as they continued to draw circles on the nub.
"I fucking mean it. I always keep my promises."
Everything was just too much for you, your senses were stimulated to oblivion and you couldn't handle it any longer. The inevitable tension of your aroused pussy gave his cock a vice-like grip as you began to see speckles of noise behind your heavy eyes.
"Gonna cum, gonna cum—Sannie, I-I'm gonna fucking cum," you cried. Salt laid on your tongue from the tears that flowed freely down your cheeks, while the hand on your neck moved to your jaw.
He turned your face to his and shoved his tongue between your lips, pausing briefly to murmur, "I know, Baby. I know."
A trembling, soaked pile of mush was all you were at that moment. Putty under his touch, while you let him fuck your sensitive walls until he spurted a warm, white mess inside you. Your hips rocked slower until they settled to a halt, and your wet kisses had become tender. Nothing about this was funny, but you couldn't help but giggle, your teeth knocking against San's while the bliss was still clouding your mind.
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"Lunch was really delicious as usual, by the way. Thank you, Honey."
Your thumbs declared a half-hearted war with each other, fiddling with no serious direction. You faced him, lying on your sides with lopsided smiles shared just between the two of you. The soft whirring of the air conditioner filled the room. Otherwise, you were undisturbed.
"You're welcome," you responded dreamily.
He shuffled closer to you, the bed squeaking once again.
"So, what's for tomorrow?"
You grinned, a playful glint in your narrowed eyes. "It's a secret. You can't open it until lunchtime. And don't even try, I know everything."
"Didn't I say your concerns were mine?"
"This one's an exception."
He smirked. "What if I gave you that baby in exchange for knowing what's for lunch tomorrow? Starting right now."
Your cheeks grew warm when the tip of his nose kissed yours.
"You play a really hard bargain."
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hamable · 8 months
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Ok I’ve been grumbling a lot so here’s what I LOVED about PJO episode seven:
- every Sally flashback. I love seeing the struggle Sally went through, mostly alone, to raise Percy separate from a world actively trying to suck him in. There’s no good explanation for being so adamant to send him away out of love. If they lived in a normal world she’d homeschool him in a heartbeat. Her kid thinks he’s unwanted and it feels like there’s nothing she can say to make her words and actions match. Heartbreaking and really well done. It also allows me a small bit of sympathy for Poseidon, who is in a similar situation on a larger scale. (Not entirely, he’s a goddamn god and all that, but I liked seeing their struggles framed as parallel, wanting to keep Percy safe and having to make hard choices to do that.)
- loving Toby Stephens as Poseidon. Cant wait for more of him.
- Annabeth gave Grover a stress ball
- annabeth immediately takes the stress ball away and I’m like >:0 only to realize it’s bc they’re about to encounter Cerberus and Annabeth is always thinking six steps ahead.
- Asphodel was haunting, I liked it a lot.
- Annabeth getting stuck because she has regrets. It gets me thinking… Percy “good kid” Jackson (who feels like a screw up constantly, who would fall on his own sword a million times before letting someone else get hurt first) and Grover Underwood (who feels directly responsible for Thalia’s death and probably a majority of his ward Percy’s misfortune) are standing RIGHT THERE. What the hell kind of regrets does Annabeth have that she’s the first to get grabbed??
- Hades is very fun. I cannot believe this is Nico’s and Bianca’s father. And Hazel’s omfg. my heart melted when he said “I will give you sanctuary.” Do you know how big a deal that is? Percy is, for all intents and purposes, THE lightning thief, who broke into YOUR underworld, slinging accusations and speeches, blaming you for a war you want no part in (and that he, as the supposed thief, is literally the cause of) and you look at this kid. This poor 12 year old. Who Does Not Know what storm he is walking into. And you tell him he is public enemy number 1, that he is not safe anywhere, but that he and his mother will be untouchable here, should he ask for it. You tell him that you saved his mother of your own volition when we know Zeus himself would not save his own child. Legendary.
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iwasdear · 4 months
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I'm coming in with another thought about Matsukawa cus he lives in a penthouse in my brain and bro is not moving out any time soon
he did not truely grasp how big his meat was until he lost his virginity
sure he's not dumb he knew it was definitely something but not until he got a girl in bed did he realize his shtick was built different
and lemme say that did more than just inflate his ego, he was a changed man
And doesn't just slang it all willy nilly and expect his size to do all the work, he learned the motion of the ocean and was a certified sex god from that point forward‼
Not just cocky for cockys sake, he promises a good time and sure as hell lays it tf down too😼
On a similar note can I ask how you think all the seijoh 4 first times went? when? how? what do you think?
oh i definitely fuck with this thought, anon. he's not cocky just because he can be cocky, but it's because he knows he can be cocky. matsukawa isn't like those annoying mfs that are cocky because they think they're the shit. he is the shit. after that encounter where he lost his virginity, he became a god and nobody could stop him no more.
now, here is how i think seijoh 4z first time went ( with reader ) ★
oikawa had his first time at a party. since he's very popular, he gets invited to parties often. i feel like he def had no idea as to what the fuck to do, but i mean, you're not bound to knows when it's your first time, right? he was really excited about it, though, and spoiler: he came really fast! we understand, king. hormones are everywhere, there's a rush that's hard to ignore, its a first time sensation, how could he hold back? he had a round two after that because he reached his own high, but reader didn't even get to enjoy theirs, and let me tell you. his second orgasm hit him ten times harder. i know this messed up with his ego so he's been participating in every no nut november like a loser because he says it will help him last longer (it really doesn't).
mattsun had a pretty decent first time with a date, and it went absolutely amazing for both of them. the amount of stamina this guy has is insane. they met on a dating app, both of their profiles specifying that they didn't want anything serious, much rather looking for a quick hook-up. it was then when matsukawa realized his cock was in fact not your average dick. the fact that his huge buddy could make someone cry in pain fascinated him. my guy has morals so he held back so reader could adjust but god was his ego over the roof. ever since then, mattsun proudly carries a weapon between his legs.
makki had his first time in a damn club HANDS DOWN. unlike oikawa, who had the commodity of a (strangers) bed, hanamaki went at it in a bathroom. oh yeah. ngl i feel like he's a sucker for head, so they went with that first! he loved it, btw. lasted quite long but not too long, iykwim. then he proceeded to fuck reader on the sink. some clubs tend to have full body mirrors and my gut is telling this mf had a second round but this time full view on said mirror. the ones above the sink weren't it for him. out of the 4, i personally think makki is the most experienced. he knew what he was doing the moment they walked into that bathroom. if you're wondering, they waited for it to empty out and locked the doors and didn't let anyone in for a good two hours, teehee.
this one may be a little too biased because i love iwaizumi a little too much, and in my eyes, he's a gentleman. unlike the other 3, iwa had his first time with someone he was in a stablished relationship with at the time. it was actually quite romantic and beautiful and SIKE. hajime had his first time in the lockers. stressed from dealing with oikawa and his annoying fangirls, mattsun and makki holding him back from beating the shit out of his best friend, and just built up stress from other things. he was over it. the stablished relationship part is true. he asked reader to meet in the lockers a little earlier than the time practice usually ends because he heard from others (mattsun) that sex was a good stress reliever. by the way, iwaizumi was the last to lose his virginity. the gentleman part was also true because despite being someone who doesn't speak his mind outloud, my man still had the courage to confidently ask reader if they could do the deed right there and then. tbh i feel like he likes his privacy, and i mean, anyone could walk in any second, so they both went with the showers. great experience if you ask him, but he would NOT do it in an open space like that ever again.
© iwasdear | more thoughts are welcome!
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snoopyracing · 1 month
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re: our "normal girl" conversation earlier... could I get Lando + 2 from your fluff prompt list? 🥺
my sweet viv ❤️ here you go!!
lando + "you're beautiful, you know that right?"
you never thought you would have ended up in a relationship with someone famous, let alone a formula driver.
the driver in question? lando norris.
the guy who had a track record of only being seen with or dating models. something you were the complete opposite of. you didn't have millions of followers on instagram with thousands of men flocking to your comments or dms to try and get your attention. your account was private with not even 500 followers and you liked it that way. you didn't treat the paddock like your own personal runway (not that there was anything wrong with that) but it was just not you. you had a normal job and sometimes couldn't make it to every one of lando's races and he understood that. you were just the opposite of everything the "model" f1 wag "should" be.
all you wanted to do was live your life the way you wanted and support your boyfriend. something that many people apparently had an issue with. they would try and say you weren't good enough for lando, or that he was going to cheat on you, anything to get under your skin. they would constantly compare your to the other wags, trying to pit you against each other. which honestly made you laugh because you were good friends with some of them.
it just amazed you that people were so upset about you living a normal life and that somehow lando was in love with someone that didn't look like they came straight off of the cover of vogue.
you knew lando loved you and for some time you had been able to just brush off the hate, but eventually even the strongest person breaks.
lando knew something was off when you refused to walk with him through the paddock. telling him that you would show up later. he didn't pry though, figuring if something was truly wrong you would tell him. so he gave you a kiss goodbye and told you he would see you later. it wasn't that you didn't want to go with lando. it was that you didn't want a million cameras on you capturing content of you for everyone to nitpick. you prayed that you could sneak in behind some crew members and not be noticed.
and when the time came you truly thought your plan was working until you accidently made eye contact with one of the hundreds of photographers and in an instant a camera was in your face. by the time you made it to lando's driver room you were on the verge of crying and when you saw those pretty blue eyes of his staring back at you you couldn't help but let the tears fall.
lando pulled you into his chest his arms wrapping around you as to protect you from whatever had made you break down like this. "what's got my girl so upset? you've been off all day."
the soothing sound of lando's voice and his strong arms wrapped around you told you that as much as your didn't want to tell him, you knew you had to. so as the two of you stood there in his tiny drivers room, you let everything out. you didn't want to be a bother, didn't want to stress him out or have him think you were a crybaby, but a person can only take so much.
when lando heard how much you had been struggling with things his heart broke. he knew people for some odd reason hated that you were 'normal' and found any little thing to poke fun at you for. he tried to protect you from it, but in this day and age of the internet there is truly no escaping it. and to see you broken like this in his arms put a sour taste in his mouth. as much as he shouldn't have to deal with hate, he had gotten used to it. he was an athlete people were never going to be happy with him, but you shouldn't be hated for simply existing and for loving him.
"hey look at me-" he tucked his finger under your chin, lifting your head up towards him. "you're the most beautiful girl in the world, you know that right? i love you so much it drives me crazy. and it hurts to see you hurting because of me. fuck anyone who doesn't think we aren't meant to be or that you aren't good enough for me. you're everything and more to me. you love and support me unconditionally and i couldn't ask for more than that. i'm gonna put out a statement about the hate. the love of my life should not be afraid to walk with me anywhere. and if anyone has a problem they can say it to my face."
you stood in awe at him. his words making you cry more, but only out of love. you couldn't believe you had managed to have a man like lando in your life. who was so open with his feelings and never made you doubt just how much he loved you.
"i love you more than words can describe lan."
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fuzzyautumninmetal · 1 month
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Loving Husband pt 5
Olderhusband!Price 🤝 YoungerWife!Reader 🤝 Slight angst
I lowkey kinda made myself cry writing this also writers block sucks ass!!
Cw - slight mention of birth, being cut (not self harm!)
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Part 4 Part 6
You and John had been living in your new home for three months now, the excitement of moving and setting up your life together still fresh in your mind.
At six months along, you look and feel like you're ready to pop any day now. The doctors have told you to take it easy, and John has taken this order to heart. You're only allowed to walk, nothing more strenuous than that. It's frustrating, being confined to such a limited range of motion, but John's dedication to your health and the health of your unborn children is unwavering.
It's this selflessness, this love, that makes you fall in love with John all over again. You had no idea when you married him that he would be such a devoted husband and father. But here he is, taking care of you in every way possible, always putting your needs above his own.
Standing beside you, John watched as you carefully moved around the house. The pregnancy glow suited you, highlighting the curves of your body and bringing out the softness in your features. Even when you were irritated by the restrictions placed upon you, he found himself unable to tear his gaze away from you.
There was a time when he thought he'd never find someone who could handle the rigors of his life. Someone who could deal with the constant danger, the long periods of separation, and the stress of being married to a soldier. But then he met you, and everything changed.
Seeing you like this, so vulnerable yet so resilient, made his heart ache. But it also filled him with pride. Pride in knowing that he had chosen well, that he had found someone who loved him despite all his flaws.
As you walked around the house, you couldn't help but notice the way John looked at you. There was something about the way his blue eyes took in every detail of your body that sent a thrill through you. "You're staring darling," you smiled at him as you waddled towards the sofa.
Following you to the couch, John couldn't help but let his gaze wander over your form once more. The sight of you swollen with his children was enough to make his heart race.
"Can't help it, sweetheart," he said with a shrug, sitting down next to you. "You're looking even more beautiful these days."
His hand hovered near your belly, tempted to touch the bump where their babies were growing. But he resisted, instead choosing to content himself with watching the gentle rise and fall of your stomach as you breathed.
"How are our little angels doing today?" He asked softly, his voice filled with paternal concern.
You saw John's restriction when he came to touch your swollen stomach, it made you chuckled honestly. "You can touch my stomach you know" you smiled softly as you grabbed his hands to place on your stomach.
"They're kicking up a storm today" You replied with a smile. "I think they're going to be just like their dad. Always full of energy"
Feeling the subtle movements beneath his palm, John couldn't suppress the swell of emotion that welled up inside him. His kids were alive, thriving, and already causing trouble.
"I'm glad to hear it," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Full of energy is good. Keeps them strong."
He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your stomach before pulling away. The sensation of those tiny kicks against his hand was enough to send shivers down his spine. "Are they going to be as stubborn as their mum?" He teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Your cheeks flushed slightly at his words, but you couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped your lips. "I am not stubborn" you said with a grin as you grabbed his chin to bring him in for a gentle kiss.
Caught off guard by your sudden move, John felt a jolt of desire course through him. The kiss was sweet and tender, making him wish that he could pick you up and carry you to bed, where he could worship every inch of your body. But he knew that wasn't an option right now, so he settled for the kiss. "Mmm..." he hummed against your lips before pulling away. "Still stubborn, I see."
After the kiss, you pulled back with a smirk on your face. "Maybe a bit" You murmured as you pulled him for another kiss.
Caught off guard by your sudden forwardness, John found himself responding to your kiss eagerly. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer into his chest. His hand slid down to cup your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"But I love you anyway," he whispered against your lips before kissing you again.
You pulled back from the kiss with a grin, "you better!" You kissed the tip of his nose before propping your feet up onto the coffee table, "will you massage my feet please, they feel like balloons." You chuckled as you looked at your swollen feet, so swollen you have to wear crocks when you go out now. Fucking crocks.
With a chuckle, John obliged, taking one of your feet into his large, calloused hands. He began to gently massage the arch of your foot, applying pressure to the sensitive spots.
"Gladly, love," he murmured, focusing on the task at hand. Despite the situation, he couldn't help but admire the softness of your skin under his rough palms. "It's hard seeing you like this," *he admitted after a moment, "but I wouldn't trade it for anything else."
You sighed softly as he massaged your feet, feeling the tension leaving them as he worked on each toe individually. "Just thinking of the 3 beautiful children we'll have" you replied softly as you closed your eyes enjoying the massage.
Continuing to work on your feet, John couldn't help but marvel at the changes that pregnancy had brought about in you. Your body now rounded and lush, carrying the fruit of their love. "It's strange," he mused aloud, "how something as miraculous as childbirth can also be so terrifying."
As he massaged your feet, you closed your eyes letting out a sigh of relief. "You're telling me," you said with a small laugh. "You're not the one that will have to push them out....or get cut open to get them out" you couldn't help but laugh slightly again as John began messaging your other foot.
At your laughter, John's own chuckle rumbled deep within his chest. He couldn't deny there was some truth to what you were saying. "But don't forget who will be there by your side when it happens," he reminded you, switching to massage your other foot. "Who will hold your hand and tell you everything will be alright." His fingers traced over the sole of your foot, finding all the tender spots until they reached your toes.
You let out a contented sigh as he continued to massage your feet. "That reminds me. I have a midwife appointment tomorrow for a check-up, I can't remember if you're on base or not tomorrow." You asked with a smile as you wiggled your toes.
Hearing about the appointment, John's expression softened. He loved these moments, listening to the heartbeat of their unborn children. It was almost magical, in its way.
"I'll be there," he assured you, his tone firm yet gentle. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." His fingers continued to work on your toes, giving them a gentle squeeze before moving back up towards your heel.
You smile at his answer, feeling happy knowing he would be there with you. "Good," you say, "I'd hate to go without you." You smiled lightly as he moves to your other foot, the massage feeling amazing, and you find yourself sinking deeper into the couch.
Once John finishes massaging your feet, he parts your thighs slightly so he can kneel in between them. He gently places his hands on your swollen belly and rests his forehead on your stomach. He lets out a soft sigh, one sign that something is wrong.
"I know you John. What's wrong?"
"This job," he begins, his voice low and thick with worry. "I'm going to miss so much, I might miss their first steps, their first laugh, their first words…" John always acts strong, he has to being a Captain, but you know him. You know him better than himself.
"I knew what I was getting myself into when I married you," you say, your voice firm but laced with love. You cup his cheeks with your hands so John would look up at you. "Our children won't mind anyway. You want to know why?"
He lifted his gaze to meet yours, his blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The vulnerability in those eyes only made you love him more. "Why?" he echoed, a hint of curiosity mixed with a heavy dose of scepticism in his voice.
"Because," you continue, your voice softening, "they will know that their daddy is a hero. They will know that he's out there fighting for the world, fighting for their future. They will be proud."
John nodded slowly, his grip tightening on your hips as he took in your words. There was a part of him that wanted to believe you, to take comfort in the thought that their children would understand. "And what about you?" he asked quietly, "How will you explain it to them? How will you tell them that their father wasn't there because he chose to be away?" Even though he knew it was a rhetorical question, he needed to hear your response.
You place a finger on his lips silencing him momentarily. "I'll tell them the same thing," you say, "that their daddy is a hero. That he fights for people he doesn't even know. And that while he does that, he thinks of us. Always."
"You're my hero John. I've never doubted that. And our kids won't either."
He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes as he savoured the warmth of your finger against his lips. In that moment, he felt like the luckiest man alive – to have found someone like you, who could see past the uniform and the rank.
"Damn, I love you," he murmured against your skin, his voice barely above a whisper. "More than anything else in this world." He then placed a gentle kiss on your belly, his affection for the three little lives growing inside you evident in every movement he made.
Your heart swells with love for John as he whispers his love for you. You reach down and run your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to your body. "And I love you, more than anything else in this world too."
You kiss the top of his head, inhaling his scent. You are both silent for a moment, just enjoying each other's company.
The weight of your love pressed down on him, grounding him in a way nothing else could. His arms tightened around your waist, holding onto you as if you were the last piece of sanity in an otherwise chaotic world.
He looked up at you, his blue eyes shining with a mix of love and admiration. "You know, I sometimes wonder if I deserve you." There was a hint of self-doubt in his voice, something he rarely showed, especially not to you.
You tilt your head, looking down at John with a small smile playing on your lips. "Why would you ever think that?" You ask, genuinely confused.
He shrugged, his brow furrowed in thought. "I mean, here I am, off fighting wars, missing milestones, while you're here carrying our children, preparing for their arrival..." His voice trailed off, as if he was unsure whether he should finish what he started. But the truth was, he had plenty of reasons to doubt himself.
"It's not fair to you," he finally said, his voice low and sincere. "You deserve better than a husband who's always away. A husband who can't give you what you need..."
You gently grabbed John's cheeks to look at you. "Don't," you whispered, your thumb stroking his cheek. "Don't say that."
He sighed softly, leaning into your touch as if seeking comfort from your hand. He closed his eyes briefly, savouring the sensation of your thumb against his skin.
"Don't what?" he asked, opening his eyes to meet yours again. "Tell the truth? Because it's the truth, sweetheart. You deserve a husband who can stay home, who can be there for you and the babies..."
As your trembling voice whispered, "Shh," silence enveloped you. Your breath hitched, tears threatening to cascade down your cheeks. "I want you, John."
John's glassy eyes held a mixture of pain and longing. "You deserve better," he murmured, his voice barely a whisper.
"No," you protested, your voice a feeble plea. "I don't want better. I have you." Warm tears escaped, trailing down your face. "You're not just my husband. You're my best friend, my lover, my partner...my everything."
He watched as the tears rolled down your cheeks, and his heart clenched painfully in his chest. He didn't want to cause you pain, but he also couldn't deny the truth.
"But I'm not there for you, sweetheart," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Not like I should be..."
You shook your head, wiping away the tears with the back of your hand. "You're here now," you said softly, reaching down to cup his face in your hands. "That's all that matters."
He let out a shaky breath, feeling the warmth of your hands on his face. He gazed up at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of deception. "I don't want to hurt you," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion* "But I can't help but feel like I'm failing you. Failing our family..."
You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his. "Stop it, John. Please," you whispered. "You're not failing me. Failing us."
He exhaled deeply, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging within him. The weight of his duty was heavy, but the love he felt for you and the unborn children was heavier still. "Sometimes I wish..." his voice trailed off, the words dying on his lips before they could fully form.
He hesitated, clearly struggling with his thoughts. After a long pause, he continued. "Sometimes I wish I could leave it all behind - the war, the danger, the constant uncertainty. Just so I could focus on building a life with you, raising our children together..."
His gaze drifted over your features, committing every detail to memory. The way the light danced in your eyes, the curve of your lips, the softness of your skin beneath his fingertips...
"But that's not reality, is it?" he asked, his tone tinged with resignation. "Reality is me being called away, leaving you to handle things on your own...again."
You grab his hand, pressing it against your stomach. "But it will be in the future," you say, your voice firm. "When you retire. We'll be together finally, you can chase our children around the garden, spoil them rotten. Finally treat yourself to that bike you've always wanted." You chuckle, the sound light and carefree.
John's eyes flicker to your face, a ghost of a smile forming.
"But not yet dear," you continue, cupping his face in your hands, forcing him to meet your gaze. "You're not done saving the world, you're not done being the hero everyone needs."
His face softens, his gaze melting into yours. The weight of the world is there in his eyes, but so is love, a deep and unwavering love that knows no bounds. You know he's fighting a battle, a war within himself, but you also know that he'll choose you, always. He will come back to you, your haven, your love. He will come home.
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he listened to you speak, your words washing over him like a soothing balm. He knew you were right - he wasn't ready to retire just yet. There was still work to be done, lives to save, threats to neutralize.
"You're right," he conceded, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not done yet. Not by a long shot." He paused, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. "But I promise you this, sweetheart - when the time comes, I'll be here. For you, for our family. Always." He sealed his vow with a tender kiss, pouring all his love and devotion into the simple gesture. "I love you more than anything in this world. Never forget that."
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calisources · 6 months
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𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒, 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐏𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.
All sentences were taken from difference media about age gap and age difference relationships, all acceptable relationships within consenting adults with age differences. Please do not use for teenagers or taboo relationships. These have some foul language or suggestive undertones so please beware. You can change names, pronouns, locations as you see fit.
I bet it doesn’t feel like this with that boy of yours, does it?
You’ll never know when I’m going to drag you into the darkness, pumping my cock into one of your tight holes. And you’ll take every inch like a good little girl.
What a tiny life we’d live if we fashioned ourselves to the comforts of others.
I think I'm a little old for that, love.
No, not old. But you're, you know, a man.
Tell me that you've never had anyone else. I want you to pretend.
You show me things I've forgotten.
Sometimes I think you must have seen it all before. That I can't show you anything new.
I like you as you are, he said. Even if you're going to wear me out.
I’m rough with your body sometimes, but I’ll always be gentle with your soul. She bruises far more easily.
This prince is a few years younger than you, and does not have much experience.
I must have forgotten how young you would be, Princess. Has there ever been a sovereign of such tender age?
Who is to say what love is or what it wants to be, the shape it takes, or how quickly it comes on? Love has always made a fool of time.
I don’t feel old. As a matter of fact, sitting here with you makes me feel older, not younger. Nothing is rubbing off.
Mr. Rochester was about forty, and this governess not twenty; and you see, when gentlemen of his age fall in love with girls, they are often like as if they were bewitched.
He's old enough to be your father.
Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.
But she wants you. And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.
Age is no barrier. It's a limitation you put on your mind.
Age considers; youth ventures.
Age, like distance lends a double charm. 
I'm a strong believer that a good relationship can work, whatever the situation. 
Love knows no boundaries, not even the ones defined by age.
Don’t let society’s judgment define your love. Follow your heart, despite the age difference.
Most people would be upset they get an old man as their husband.  
Do not worry about your age, Ser. The lady pays attention not to age but prowess.
I will not let time choose my lovers for me. I trust my own judgement. 
You should look to more prosperous gardens, Your Grace.
I was sixteen years old when you were born.
No doubt you were much my superior in judgement at that period of our lives; but does not the lapse of one-and-twenty years bring our understandings a good deal nearer?
Come, my dear Emma, let us be friends, and say no more about it. 
I have seldom seen a face or figure more pleasing to me than hers. But I am a partial old friend.
If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.
We spend more time discussing this matter than being together as a couple. And I believe you are doing it on purpose.
You think my attention is as fickle that I would look elsewhere.
Perhaps it would be you who looks elsewhere. A handsome older man must have youthful maidens at his disposal.
If we were closer in age, it would've been fine.
I have loved you since the moment I helped you with your zipper. 
Would it make you feel better if I call you Daddy while you fuck me?
You’ll be a silver fox before 40 at this rate.
Well, it’s definitely your fault. You stress me out. You’re making my hair turn white.
It’s easy to cast opinions when your heart isn’t the one invested.
I hope you love me, because I love you like crazy, and I'm going to want you the rest of my life.
You already know the truth. And I will be by your side, but I am not good for you.
I am tired of others getting to choose who is good for me. You do that quite often, frequently. 
You'll keep your name. You'll keep your will. You'll have your own servants to attend you— you will have everything you ask for.
Don't ask me to let you do. Do you understand? Do not ask me.
It might be best for us, for myself, if I found myself useful elsewhere.
I wish you could just slow down so I could catch up to you.
Stamina is not an issue. But rather what others will whisper.
When are you going to get over this? All I did was touch your leg.
Why would it matter if someone saw you saying hello to me?
But it’s nice to be around you. Like I haven’t lost a decade of my life.
I been in love with you since I was six, fool. 
I will always belong to you, but I’m afraid there will be others after me. I’m not a young man/woman.
A kiss ... a muse. It is a question, an unlocked door. It is ... elation ... and anguish.
You have treated me better than any young man my age. Why should I go for either of them? 
Young men are eager lovers. I prefer my lovers to take their time. I’m sure with men is the same.
You make me feel really safe. i’m not used to that.
You gave an old man purpose again. And that is more than I can ask of you.
I was a child then, with a crush and a dream. As I grew, dreams changed but you remain the one in my dreams.
I have thought about kissing you a lot. What would that make me?
I have more in common with you than men my age.
Do not pretend to think what I think.
More recently, there are rumors she prefers her lovers to be younger. Truth to be told, I don’t blame her.
I will teach you in time, but for now restrain me and have your way with me. I don’t want to think, I just want to feel.
We have never done anything to be ashamed of. You’ve never done anything to be ashamed of.
Personally, I think the difference keeps us interesting in another another. 
You can teach me all you wish, and I can learn. I know I can.
There is always a wild side to an innocent face.
You are being too forward right now, my lady. Be careful.
There would be other loves. Even great loves. But she was right, only one remained perfect.
Maybe there are some people you marry and people you love.
Just so you know, you're a natural lover. Your body expresses beautifully what's in your heart.
I have never felt so alive... as when I am in your arms.
A 5 to 7 relationship is a relationship outside of marriage.
You're older than I am, you're wiser I'm sure and you've seen much more of the world.
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Free use with Steve
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kinktober masterlist!!
pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
word count: 1.2k
warnings: roomate!steve, free use agreement (fully consensual), an allusion to sex, hair pulling, degradation, a little bit of bondage, penetrative sex, edging
a/n: shoutout to the loml @ddejavvu for helping me out with some characterization!! dedicating this one to her as 1/2 of her birthday present!! <3
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When I had first seen Steve’s ad for a roommate, I hadn’t paid any mind to the lack of a rent price in the ad. I figured he would let me know if he actually wanted me to move in. So after he showed me around and we talked for a bit about all the major stuff, I asked about it. And he gave the most intriguing answer I’ve ever heard.
“Well, I’m gonna offer you two options. You could pay half of the rent, so about $900 a month or…you could-could pay nothing.” This option seems to make him nervous, as he shifts slightly in his seat.
“Pay nothing?”
“See, that comes with a catch. If you choose to pay nothing then I would cover you and…you would have to return the favour.” A hint of red colours his cheeks. While I admit it suits him, it gives me a hint as to where this conversation is going.
“And how would I do that?”
“By being a-available at all times.” He smiles sheepishly and fiddles with his hoodie strings
“Available for…what exactly?”
“Sex.” When he says it I think I’ve misheard him. But…he couldn’t have said anything else. He takes my staring as a cue to explain further.
“Well…that sounds bad. You don’t have to have sex with me, especially not right away. And you’re perfectly welcome to pay your half of the rent and completely forget about this. But I like you. And my job is…pretty stressful. So if you would be okay with me relieving that stress with you, I’d be happy to cover the full rent.” He smiles softly and I take a second to process all this. I mean, I did think he was really cute. And definitely my type.
Also, I didn’t have many other options for an apartment. This place was in a good neighbourhood, I had my own bathroom, a nice kitchen, and plenty of natural light. I would be crazy to give that up. And I would be even crazier to give up living rent-free in exchange for having occasional sex with my very hot roommate.
“You know what? Sure. You’ve got a deal, Harrington. Just don’t be a perv.” His laugh is boyish, grinning as he sips his water.
“You’ve got my word.”
So, I moved in a week later. Frankly, it was a great deal. Steve was incredibly sweet and we ended up spending a lot of time together. Which of course, had its perks.
“Holy shit,” I whisper into the hot room, as Steve collapses next to me, panting.
“Holy shit is right. I figured it would take at least another month before we hooked up.” He smiles at me and I can’t help but return it.
“I really thought the only times we would do anything would be whenever you wanna take your stress out on me,” I say as he tugs me close, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head.
“Well, I had to give you a little preview of what you’re signing up for. Would hate to condemn you to mediocre sex.” He chuckles and I smile up at him.
“I don’t think anything about you is mediocre, Steve Harrington.”
After that, he really took advantage of our agreement. He started off slow, wandering hands when I was doing the dishes, gently groping me if I was near, a lewd comment every once in a while. Honestly, I liked it. It made me feel so wanted. I found myself craving every glance, comment, and touch.
When he finally upped the ante, bending me over the counter one night after dinner to fuck me with almost no warning, it was practically a dream come true.
And boy did Steve know it.
“Fucking stupid motherfuckers.” I hear Steve cursing under his breath as he slams the front door behind him. I pause my movie, turning to look at him. He’s toeing his shoes off, furiously tugging at his tie. I know how much he hated the thing. It represented everything he hated while working at his dad’s firm.
“Bad day?” I question, finally gaining his attention. The second his eyes focus on me, they darken.
“Mhm. Very…stressful.” He crosses the room quickly. His hand gently pushes my hair away from my face before gripping it tightly. Steve knows to grab at the base of the hairs, so it doesn’t hurt as much but I still wince.
“I-I can help with that?” I peer up at him and he breaks for a second, smiling fondly.
“You’re such a good girl…turn around?” He grips the fabric of his tie in his hands, making me grin and turn. The second I’m situated, he smacks me with it. It barely stings, but the surprise makes me yelp.
“Be quiet. Don’t wanna hear you.” He grips my wrists in one hand, wrapping his tie around them. This was not a new thing, so I don’t squirm. Steve enjoyed having my hands bound while he used me.
I try not to move as he tugs my pyjama pants down just enough to expose my ass. Luckily for him, it was laundry night so I had forgone panties.
“Such a slut.” He mumbles, ever a fan of degradation. His hand runs over the fat of my ass, squeezing the flesh appreciatively. He pulls away to undo his pants, the metal of his belt buckle clicking as he drops the leather to the floor. A small part of me is disappointed. I’d been hoping he’d spank me at least a few times. It always hurt so well.
I feel the head of his cock line up with my entrance and I bite my lip hard to keep from moaning.
“Fucking hell…” He curses as he starts pushing in. He goes slower than normal, maybe trying to make this last extra long. Steve was always a big fan of spending hours bringing both of us to the edge, just to stop so that we could do it all over again.
“Please…” I whisper before I can think. He stops and I tense, ready for him to spank me hard.
“I told you to be fucking quiet.” Before I can apologize, he slams into me. I gasp, barely able to catch my breath as he starts pounding into me.
“S-such a stupid toy.” He moans softly, nails digging into me. Moans continue to slip out of me as the head of his cock slams into that spot that makes me go crazy. He doesn’t bother reprimanding though, focusing on chasing his release.
“This pussy always feels so fucking good.” He groans. I can feel my orgasm building, the coil tightening with every deep thrust. I know Steve is on the edge, so I have to cum before he does. No way does he spend extra time on me now that I made noise.
“Shit!” He curses and I feel him cum. As his thrusts slow, my orgasm ebbs away. I whine weakly but he just chuckles and pulls out slowly. Cum slowly leaks out of me and runs down my thighs as Steve leans down to whisper in my ear.
“Don’t you know? Toys don’t get to cum.”
hope you enjoyed!!
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jojissalsa · 10 months
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Dangerous Game (part one)
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you get a new job as a federal agent for the F.O.S, and now you're stuck dealing with the reckless D.S.O agent, Leon Kennedy.
Warnings: dom/older!Leon, sub!reader, slight age gap (reader is in late 20s, up to y'all), dirty thoughts, masturbation (f and m). this one is fairly tame. kinda.
WC: 2.8k
an: hey y'all!! i'm hoping to make this into a 3 parter, felt like my idea is a lil too big for just one fic, that's why this one is probably a tad more tame compared my previous stuff. as per usual, critique, reposts and requests are welcome! enjoy <3 (minors do not interact, go touch grass.)
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Working for the Field Operations Support is fairly easy, you got a nice seat at the front desk as the receptionist, you’ve worked there for a good couple of years. Nothing crazy ever happened, and everyone respected you pretty well. Especially Hunnigan. Well, Ingrid to you, Hunnigan to your coworkers. You always respected her the most, always envious of her job. You initially applied for her job, but you could take being a receptionist. You could live vicariously through her, since she seemed to like you the most in and outside of work. Hunnigan was always so sweet, giving you a pleasant smile and a morning chat whenever she’d come in for work, bringing you lunch as you two got closer. That also opened the door to lots of girl talk, mainly about how stressful the job was sometimes. Hunnigan loved her job, truly, but it came with heavy challenges. A very heavy one would be Leon Kennedy, a D.S.O agent she’s worked with for a majority of her career.
You’ve heard some of the horror stories from her about the bioweapons, insidious cults and rich white guys that try to carry on Umbrella’s work but fail miserably every time. This time seemed a bit different though, more final for her. “Honestly, the guy is an idiot sometimes. Likable, but an idiot.” You snicker at how nice she’s being for how pissed she looks, angrily sipping her coffee from the breakroom. “I think you mean he’s a lovable dumbass, but I guess that works too.” You chuckle softly, stirring sugar into your own fresh cup of coffee. “Hey, I’m serious this time. I mean, come on, I’m getting older.” Hunnigan watches as you sit down across from her, a worried expression starting to take over your features. “You really think it’s time to call it quits?” “Maybe not quitting just yet, just maybe looking over a different agent. Spots are starting to open up y’know.” Your eyebrows shoot up at that, trying to hide your excitement as you look down to sip your coffee. “Well, maybe I can take your spot? I’m pretty confident, and I’ve done all the training.” She shares your new found excitement, reaching out to put her hand over yours. “I’ll pull some strings, okay? I think we both need a change of scenery.” Her sweet smile never fails to spread to you, you can trust her. She’s been your best friend, if you’re being honest, and you’re sure she shares the same sentiment.
It didn’t take long for those strings to be pulled, and soon you were standing in front of the President and a few other important men in nice suits, watching as you shake hands and smile awkwardly. Finally, you get a briefing on the infamous federal agent you would be helping. Leon Scott Kennedy. He’s got a good reputation with everyone in the room, saying that while he may have an “eccentric” personality, he’s a hard working man, compliments all coming from the President. You heard about it from Hunnigan and a few other agents that he saved his daughter from a deathly cult, and brought it all down in the same day. You could tell from his file that he clearly worked a lot, even if he didn’t get this job on his own violation. Sucks that he was forced into his life, but it’s good that he’s making it work. Seems like a good looking guy too, at least from the small picture of him clipped to the folder.
And now you’re waiting for that good looking guy to walk into your new office, setting down a few knick-knacks you had on your previous desk. You turn your head to the sound of someone walking in, your eyes widening as they set on the man who seemed to be searching for someone. Good looking was an understatement of the century. The way his blazer fits just right on his biceps, his light brown hair and piercing gaze that just speaks "brooding loner", if you weren't at work you'd have fallen to your knees the second he made eye contact with you. You try to reel in your awe as he walks up to you, dusting off your clothes to make you look put together. "So you're my new babysitter? Y/n, right? I'm Leon Kennedy." Just the sound of his voice is enough to give you goosebumps, but your name from his lips is like a drug that gets you hooked instantly. And just like that, something flips in your brain, you are so not gonna be professional, how can you? How can anyone handle themselves around this man? You shake his hand as he extends it for you, and the feel of his rough hand from hard work sends so many dirty thoughts through your mind, like how good it would feel with his fingers on your neck, or his palm pressed against your tit, or how thick his fingers would feel inside you- chill out, play it cool.
"It's great to finally meet you, Mr. Kennedy, everyone has told me a lot about you.." You make sure to say it in a sultry tone to make it obvious how much you think he's attractive, and he sure as hell catches it. "Good things, I hope." He chuckles, giving you a sly smirk. Oh he knows. Fuck. "Oh don't worry, it's been all good things, promise. Though, I have heard that you made Hunnigan’s job a lot harder." You tease, looking him up and down and matching his sly smirk. Two can play that game. "Sure, but I get the job done, no?" The way he says it is so damn sexy you're sure he's doing what you're doing. "I'm sure you get a lot of things done with that attitude, Mr. Kennedy." You act like you're being sarcastic as you cross your arms under your chest, but you know how he could make you cum with the brush of his arm. "Only one way to find out, right?" That one makes your eyebrows raise, your smile widening as you blush slightly. "Is that an invitation?" You drop your voice slightly, leaning against the wall. The curve of your body sends a shockwave of arousal through him, and his eyes narrow on your figure. "If that's what you think I meant then by all means." He's so damn smug and it just makes you wanna sit on his face to shut him up.
"Is there anything you wanna ask me? About myself, the job?" You try to sound professional and not desperate, but you feel like it's helpless when you're looking up at him and he's so obviously checking you out, his eyes taking note of every curve on your body. Like he’s studying it for later. "I think I have a pretty good idea from Hunnigan and the President, is there anything you wanna ask me?" His question makes your eyes light up, but you don't wanna immediately ask him on a date. Classy, that's who you are to your core. "I can ask you anything I want?" "Anything." You smile smugly, lowering your hand to take his, clearly inspecting his ring finger as you bring it closer to you. "Do you have a girl? I don't see a ring on your finger." You say it in an innocent yet flirty tone that he so obviously gets turned on from, considering how he chuckles lightly as he shakes his head before taking his hand away. "So observant. I guess that comes with the job, huh? No, I'm single." Always such a tease, I guess neither of you can help that though. "Really? I have a hard time believing that." You have a faux surprised look on your face, all in the name of trying to get him to blush. You're getting close, you can feel it. "Is it? I'm an old man, what can I say." That one gets you shifting your thighs, biting your lip as you think of just how much older. What kind of experience comes with that age? "Old man, hmm? You ever thought of being with someone younger?" You step a little closer, just barely invading his personal space. "Haven't met anybody that can keep up." He says it so nonchalant, but fuck if it doesn't light a fire that spreads throughout your body. God, it's so hard not to say you could totally keep up, doesn't matter how long he'd want it. "Keep up, hmm? What, does this job give you a lot of stamina or something?" Your question makes him smile at you confidently, and it gets you oh so excited. "Well, I meant that most women don't like that I'm constantly busy, but if you wanna be dirty minded about it, be my guest." He totally stumps you, and it just makes you giggle and rest your hand on his arm, letting out a lil “my bad” before letting it slip away. You're slick, cause you honestly just touched his arm to feel how firm it was, and oh my god. Like diamonds, kind of hard. You can't imagine how fucking good it’d feel wrapped around your neck- there you go again. Snap out of it.
“You're pretty funny, you know that? I’m gonna have fun talking to you. For work, of course.” He let out a soft laugh at your flattery, loving how you tried to soften the thirstiness of your words with a joke. It's cute, you're really trying to say he's not hot. “Trust me, Hunnigan got very tired of my jokes.” You scoff, cause honestly, who could get tired of this guy? “Sorry, but she doesn't know what she's talking about, clearly you're an A class comedian.” You make it sound a little sarcastic, but he doesn't seem offended in the slightest. He loves a challenge. “Yeah? Aren't you a sweetheart? You love to flatter.” Your eyes widen a bit, resisting the urge to squeal and fan your hot face like a rabid fangirl, simply looking away to try and take a moment away from his hungry gaze. “I mean, it's hard not to, Mr. Kennedy..” You sheepishly give him that win, you’ll take it since he called you sweetheart, and in that teasing, cocky fucking tone of all things. If Cupid was real, you’d probably have a million arrows in your back right now. He parts his lips to reply, but gets cut off by his phone ringing, taking it out of his pocket to see the President calling. “Shit, I gotta take this.” He sighs, clearly wanting to keep talking to you instead. “It’s just Leon by the way, no need for formalities.” You get a smug smile again before he starts to walk back to the door of your office, walking with him to let him leave so you could wave him goodbye. “I’ll see you around, okay?” You nod, your smirk not leaving as he waits for you to say goodbye. “I’ll see you around, Mr. Kennedy~” You and your teasing, it's gonna throw him into cardiac arrest. He shares your smugness before begrudgingly answering his phone, looking back to see you waving bye at him with your dainty little hand. Like you knew he didn't wanna end the conversation.
He couldn't stop thinking about you all damn day after your little exchange, could barely focus on his briefing or look anyone in the eye. Even when he got home, knowing he had to wake up supremely early for work, he couldn't get you off his mind. You weren’t like every corporate drone the D.S.O hires, nothing like Hunnigan either. Bless the woman, but he would finally have someone to laugh at his shitty dad jokes. No wonder you got the job. You were drop dead gorgeous to him, not daring to come close to any Victoria Secret model. The way you giggle when you're nervous, how you sneak touches or how forward you are. God, it took every fiber in his body to not grab you and fuck you in a storage closet. Or against the wall? He just towers over you, he could fold you like a lawn chair and you’d take every inch. Fuck, how did his cock get in his hand? Who cares, honestly. He’s too busy spitting in his hand, too worked up to get anything better to help him jerk off. He groans, thinking of how good your soft, delicate fingers you used to wave at him would feel wrapped around his dick, whispering in his ear in that sexy voice you have. He feels chills down his spine when he remembers the way you teased him, how you didn't even say his name. Cause you didn't wanna give it to him yet, that satisfaction. Jesus, you're gonna kill him before any bioweapon does if you keep that shit up. His hand gets faster as his thoughts keep speeding forward, thinking about how good you’d sound saying his name. Not Mr. Kennedy, Leon. He has to hear it, has to hear you scream it when you cum on his cock. He needs to know how pretty you’d look when you cum, clinging to his arms, maybe even digging your nails into his back as your legs lock around his waist. So fucking hot as you beg to have him fill you up. He cums in his hand, spilling out of his palm and down his happy trail. He lets out a heavy sigh, catching his breath as he comes down from his high. He's not even close to feeling satisfied, even as he gets up to go shower again. He needs you, and he knows you feel the same. Hard part is gonna be getting you, without all the stress of what your coworkers would say.
You honestly don't stray too far from how he felt that night either. The second you closed the door to your office, you sat down and processed everything. It was a lot, seeing a man that fucking fine and not being able to drop to your knees and take his cock in your mouth. You were close to sprinting to a bathroom and taking care of the issue, maybe even slipping a hand between your legs and just testing the waters. Literally. He made you so wet, and you could feel it your entire shift, even as you walked to your car. You could only imagine how wet you’d get if he actually did anything. If he talked dirty? Him telling you to cum would make you do it on the spot, no question. Fuck, if he touched you? You’d be screaming like a damn pornstar, waking up the whole building when he slides his cock inside you. It's all you can think about when you get home, not caring to take a shower when you do. You just plop down on your bed and practically tear your clothes off, desperate for relief. Maybe that’ll save your career, fucking yourself thinking about him. So you do, pulling your nightstand drawer open the second you’re naked, taking out ol’ reliable. You can't count on your hands how many times this vibrator was there for you, it was way more reliable than your parents or therapist. Or you could be addicted to cumming, that too. But who wouldn't be? It's not your concern, especially if it's because of Leon. You wanna hear him say the most degrading, defiling, depraved shit in the world but still praise you for it, praise you for putting out so easily cause you're such a good girl. If fucking him with no hesitation makes you a slut, then you wear that badge proudly. That title feels even better when you start moaning his name, your toy hitting that sweet spot which makes you move your hand faster, needing to cum so damn bad. It feels so dirty in the best way possible, thinking of how firm his thighs would feel under your hands as you grip them tighter every time he shoves his cock further down your throat. You can’t imagine how fucking hot it’d be to hear him order you to grind your wet cunt on his boot, holding your hair so hard that you can’t help but push your nose against his pelvis, making your clit nudge against his boot again. Hearing that cocky son of a bitch tell you to cum would be like the devil coaxing you to join him down in hell, too sinful to imagine without having the real thing. It doesn't stop you from cumming on your toy, whining as your legs shake, turning it off as you heave out breaths. You’re fine if you think about him every night, it's good material for your shower thoughts. You’re more excited for his upcoming mission, making you all giddy as you get ready for bed. You're gonna be insufferable. Lucky Leon~
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astropookie · 7 months
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chiron observations ❤️‍🩹
TW: it’s chiron, you k what’s coming.
natal south node 9H opposition solar chiron 3H in retrograde: lesson i was meant to live, in this case about communication. later on that year, I communicated the situation -I needed help- but throughout that time I was struggling to process the information. south node 9H represents the knowledge i acquired and the lesson i had to experienced to let others know about that knowledge. retrograde shows difficulties on expressing themselves, scared of being judged, delays, etc.
solar moon conjunct natal chiron: wounds who were deeply hidden in the past, that you didn’t remember, are now in front of your eyes and you cannot stop but observe directly. injustices with your mom, resentfulness and emotions you could not hide anymore are now part of your daily routine. it’s like someone hits you with a rock and you can’t stop bleeding/crying.
syrinx (3360) aspecting chiron: it’s giving fear of rejection, literally, that’s your trauma. asteroid syrinx represents your attitude towards rejection and high expectations towards you. I have it in opposition, through my whole life I have been what others wanted me to be. I, even as a child, controlled my respiration to not disturbed others. a period of time I suffered bc I believed with all my soul I shouldn’t live bc of the high expectations, rejection, I wasn’t able to fit in the box, I tried to. it’s been a whole process, to acknowledge -of course- I don’t want and don’t have to be what others want me to be to be happy. I share this to show how you can use what you’ve struggled with and turn it into something you can master, take advantage of it for your own good: the power of chiron.
solar chiron trine natal venus: you’re experiencing what venus represents -relationships, every kind, etc.-, what you craved for a long time, but chiron it’s not gonna bring it up pretty. you’re learning through these experiences. depends on the aspect the intensity and type. in this case, it’s happening -what your natal venus craves- but you’ll learn to confront the situation -bc of the trine aspect that kinda shows the intensity chiron has-. and it’s not going to be as you wished at first… for example, my bestie went on her first date -she’s a hopeless romantic but won’t show it- but she didn’t like the guy and then she told him and that guy dated her friend, she was shocked and obviously affected but then she stood up. for a long time she struggled to make friends, in this period of time finally she got their gurls, but at the begging there were difficulties she turned out to handle really well.
chiron 6H in mars return chart could mean difficulties on your health, keeping up with a sport? routine, have a routine, you could find yourself stressed out about it. you’re starting to analyze more things.
the degree of your chiron in sr chart can tell about your attitude in front of that situation, house would indicate what type of situation you’re dealing with.
example
⤥ solar chiron 11H 17° (leo degree): after my birthday -after solar return starts- i had a “fight” with a “friend” of the group I was part of, and besides that, I was starting to not feeling it with the friend group. it was a journey of a domino effect were I opened my eyes and saw they weren’t sparkling anymore -for me-. so i decided to distance myself, to start a journey of “standing by myself”. I started to do shit by myself, focusing that energy -used on others- on me. it’s giving developed leo energy.
the aspects chiron has represents how you deal with trauma, in any type of chart.
example
⤥ trine natal lilith 7H 18° (virgo degree): continuing with the chiron mentioned before, I struggled with my friendship so I “rebelled” to the situation I wasn’t comfortable with and started to be more independent -some characteristics lilith (mean) represents-. nowadays and never I think, it has been seen as good to do what you want to do without masks. in this case, I left the group and opened my eyes about the girl I “fought”, since the beginning she had some envy attitudes towards me I couldn’t decipher. 7H also represents enemies. virgo degree it’s at it finest when I stopped and analyzed the whole situation, being picky.
i don’t want to misinform or alarm the ones who are reading this, pls don’t take this seriously, it’s an observation I made based on others experiences, this post is not a must do book.
having a lot of chiron aspects in sr it’s giving you’re gonna experience something really traumatic. I’ve seen the solar return charts of family who lost their son/brother, between the year they’ve lost him and the other year, there’s more than 4 aspects. I believe it’s bc of the trauma effect. HOWEVER, pls remember the warning I made earlier.
9H chiron opposition saturn: I have a friend who was born in another country but she stays in another but she has to come back to her natal country to maintain her nationality. she told me his older brother had to be the “dad” bc her parents go back and ford to that another country for work, this means she lacks of a stable father figure, someone who’ll be strict with her, someone who she can support herself, and authority. could be loners.
urania (30) aspecting chiron: urania represents astrology/astronomy/cosmology. in greek mythology, urania was one of the nine muses, the goddess of the topics mentioned before and of universal love and holy spirit. when’s aspecting chiron, that represents how we can grow from our suffer, how we transform that pain and traumatic event that impacted our lives. it appears this connection. astrology is used as a way of healing, of knowing themselves. introspection. feel seen and being even shocked by how accurate astrology can be and how it makes you feel understood. I LOVE YOU SO FCKING MUCH ASTROLOGY THANKYOU BC OF YOU IM ALIVE HDHKWBFND. I have that aspect 🧍‍♀️-this was on my drafts on a post called “astrology helped to heal”, should I post it?
(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა ∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗ */ᐠ - ˕ -マ✩ (˶˃ᆺ˂˶)∗ ࣪
♡ Based on personal experience and I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.
♡ English is not my first language.
♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.
Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋
Do not copy. Please give me credits.
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