#everything feels so hopeless rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daphnix · 6 months

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everything’s too much to handle i’ll never be anything in life. i’ll always live in anguish and despair

#everything feels so hopeless rn #so empty #i cant do anything #i feel so broken #my insides are rotten im nothing #vent

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skeletoninthemelonland · 4 months

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never lay down in bed right after eating. don't think about staying on your phone for nearly two hours in that position. don't sleep either. acid reflux is real and i hate that guy

#uhhhh eat healthy and drink water etc etc #yknow. the exhausting but healthy things we gotta do to keep our silly billy bodies workin #i hate how this adds up to anxious thoughts djsfjdsbhjqklfehpiJADAASFGHJIOPA #i tried drawing today but it felt so draining and pointless #the floods + university strike + the cold + lack of routine + overall anxious thoughts but ig everyone is going through it too #i'm just glad my house is not under water now. my pets and things are all here and i do have blankets to warm myself with #but damn.#when your mind is not occupied with the routine it starts bothering you with unwanted thoughts #and it's not good when everyone else at home is going through the same stress #it feels just as hopeless and stressful as it was during the covid pandemic #in a way we are 'under quarantine' and isolated. unsure if it's gonna directly affect our lives.#i heard the water levels are rising quickly and people are coming in seeking public shelters...#lol idk how this went from acid reflux back to the floods. see that it's def something we can't stop worrying about rn.#what if i wake up with water on my ankles tomorrow? the videos we saw showed the water coming in so fast it's fucking scary #there was no way to just pack everything and move before it got worse.#starbstalks

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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months

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#i turn 27 tomorrow and i feel like my life is collapsing in around me #i officially made the decision to take the summer off. which i hate. which means i have to get a summer job #when ive only ever had jobs in academia so my resume looks insane if im applying to work in a bakery or whatever #im just so tired. everything makes me so tired and sad. i still dont kno what im gonna do #im glad my dad is here bc he gets it more than most ppl bc hes also dyslexic and like everyone assumes im fine bc ive got this far #but like at what cost? im doing a job where im set up to suffer. and for what? im doing something so niche and weird #all i can do is more academia. but what if i cant cut it? what if i would b better off getting a epa job or something where i can do my job #and then go home and stop thinking abt it. how do i apply the stupid bullshit i decided to study? i should have done Ecosystem restoration #or something. its just that my dream was to study weird things in weird places and now it feels like that dream is collapsing #which is devastating. im gonna try to come back in the fall and give it a go but like i dunno it feels so hopeless rn #im just so tired. i have no joy. i just want to lay on the floor #unrelated

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brown-little-robin · 2 months

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yeag

#Robin processes emotions on main #living with my parents is going so wellllll #I'm thivingggggg #overall it's fine I'm just. rrrrrrrrrr IT'S SO HARD TO FEEL LIKE AN ADULT THIS WAY I'm always caught in this defensive mode #which ends up making me self-destructive because I feel like doing good / being proactive is What My Parents Want Me To Do #so then I associate doing good mentally with loss of autonomy and it's making me freak out #cycles of depression... cycles of SOMETHING anyway #I need a job so bad. I need stability. and therapy. man... I want therapy so bad but I just cannot afford it rn #and moving out? (hopeless laugh) in this economy??#WAUGH #I just hate feeling like everything I'm doing is being watched!!! hate it so much!!! it's making me self-destruct!!!#okay I'm done <3 handing you a scone if you've read this far #with the power of God and anime on my side I just might make it out of here someday

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blessthishouse · 6 months

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It feels like there’s a lot of heavy energy right now

#everything just feels kind of hopeless and I feel like I’ll like #never be financially stable enough to leave my family #and like I’ll never have a deep and significant romantic relationship #like at this point I am just waiting for my dad to die and hoping for some semblance of peace and normalcy for the rest of my adult life #maryam's posts #like fuck man I just want romantic love #but it seems like everyone is just weird or burnt out or does the bare minimum #and here I am looking and feeling like an idiot #like I’m just tired #I wish my family wasn’t so scarily homophobic I could be comfortable enough being with someone who wasn’t a man #I just feel all alone #And I wish I had someone rn who could see that #and who could give me a hug and say that they loved me

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killmymind · 6 months

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i don’t think i’ve ever felt this lost in my life. tbh

#feeling sad? sure. hopeless? been there done that. anxious as hell? at least once a week. but lost? no. not really #and that’s really fucking scary because i’m not familiar with it and i just don’t know how to deal with it #i can’t stop thinking that i’m running out of time because i’m 25 and i don’t think i can afford feeling this way #taking a break from uni sounds good in theory but in reality? again. i’m 25. i need to at least achieve one thing in my life holy shit #it’s SO hard to see the good even when it’s right in front of me or someone points it out. like having a job or studying or getting to #travel or even just having friends ARE achievements but i always want More More and More i am addicted to wanting more cause it feels like #nothing i do is ever enough. and now i’m adding feeling lost because i’m finally acknowledging the fact that i don’t know what i want to do #with what i’m studying or how to get a different job in the future when i almost have no experience and everything is just so frustrating #because i simply don’t fucking know. i just don’t. i can’t afford not knowing!! everything is so messy rn you would think i’d be thriving #after seeing louis and meeting aria and traveling to germany and i am genuinely so happy those things happened but fuck man there is always #the Bigger Thing taking over and it makes me feel like an ungrateful brat i just don’t fucking know man. maybe i am an ungrateful brat #but it’s just so hard to be happy when you’re feeling so lost with everything in your life and yourself #anyway i just. needed to let that out #negative #effie talks to the moon

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yeahlikethebird · 4 months

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#it's 1am and i'm depressed and don't want to go to bed #there's such an unbelievable amount of century-defining tragedy and horror in the world rn #and i know that’s always true but jfc we know about so much more of it simultaneously now #like i'm supposed to be chill and functional in the face of war pandemic climate change forever chemicals micro plastics and fascism?#and and and?#i'm supposed to smile and ask follow-up questions when people tell me about vacations to Hawaii #rather than shaking them and saying holy fuck stop doing that please learn about the ramifications and historical context of your actions #i'm supposed to smile and give a measured response when a new coworker asks my other coworker and me #when they can/SHOULD use generative AI *for work purposes*#rather than screaming and throwing articles at them about the environmental impact of LLM bullshit #and that's all large scale #that's not getting into the fact that there's a growing family chilliness over refusal to communicate about I/P shit #or the fact that my mom is dying slowly and hates it and is worsening her relationship with my siblings little by little #or the fact that I'm peeling away at my sanity trying to process a divorce and get healthcare for my cat and dental care for myself #or the fact that it takes hours of research to find DISH SOAP THAT DOESN’T KILL THE MICROBIOMES OF THE LOCAL WATER SUPPLY #(10/10 recommend 'blueland' for that if you're reading btw)#like i'm painfully aware of the back-patting level of efficacy that i have for buying different soap and going to the farmer's market #but there's only so much i can do so i have to try to do what i can right? but it's so little and everything is so much #and my mental health is a mess; the fact that my particular neurotype is known to get more volatile with age scares the shit oit of me #like it's this bad at 33 and it gets WORSE?#my job is great for personal privilege but so *so* meaningless and redundant #and how tf do i look at all of this and not feel fucking hopeless?#i can distract myself with my garden but the candide approach was myopic even in the 17th century so it's hard to justify now #I'm so tired #just... fuck man #tag rant #i should delete this but I'll forget if you read this far i hope it wasnt damaging to your mental health #i just had to let off the brain scream pressure somewhere

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major-fukkup · 2 months

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I think it's evil that I have to take a shower AGAIN. Like I JUST DID THAT LAST WEEK. What do you MEAN I have to GET CLEAN in order to be clean? Honestly I think I might feel different about it if I actually like. FELT clean afterward. But I don't. I always feel slimy and gross no matter how well I dry off, and then I go to bed and wake up all sweaty and disgusting and it's a fucking nightmare.

I guess taking showers in the morning instead of evening MIGHT help a bit but I don't have the time or energy for that.

Also I potentially have an infection in my chest area and it smells extra bad and I'm so self conscious about it, Idk what it is so Idk how to treat it but it's itchy so I just put calamine lotion on it when I have time and think of it and it seems to help with the itching for a few hours.

Everything is disgusting and it sucks. The world is dark and cruel. Why does it always have to be this way.

#real shit #edgy shit #depressionposting Ig #don't know what triggers to tag this as so sorry I know this is gross #I just needed to fucking vent Ig 'cause I'm going through it rn #ventpost #tw gross #Idk anymore I should just stop adding things #I shouldn't even be making this post at all but I can't talk to anyone about it so #everything just feels so fucking hopeless #I'm literally about to break down crying just THINKING about getting in the shower

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lesbianpegbar · 2 months

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god i’m so tired. it feels like my life has been a huge waste

#idk.#college was the one thing that kept me from killing myself through my entire childhood and teenage hood.#and now it feels like the entirety of it has been completely ruined #even the memories of the ‘good things’ from the past two years now make me wanna throw up #and the whole past year was just a fucking nightmare. all i can remember really is abuse and homelessness.#and going into this year im terrified and not sure if that terror will lessen at all throughout the whole year #like idk. the one hope that literally kept me alive has been absolutely completely sullied and ruined in my mind.#and my future feels so uncertain. i feel like my life isn’t even my own rn and i’m not hopeful for anything coming up #everything just feels hopeless and terrifying and useless.#i’m having trouble motivating myself to keep going #i used to say ‘just get to college just get to college’ but i don’t have that to point to anymore. i don’t have anything to point to anymore #i feel sick. idk #mine #personal

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scarletcomet · 4 months

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I am so fucking miserable

#i cant keep living like this #i want to sh so bad rn #dying would solve all my problems #the problem is my top and probably most lethal method could result in like lost limbs if i fail #the more and more desperate i get though the less i care because i just need it to work #i can't do that to my family tho. they would be sad.#im such a burden on them tho #my depression is getting so bad that i can barely even function #i often feel the need to like escape whatever situation im in #it feels like the only way to stop feeling so miserable is to die #i can't take this anymore #43 days self-harm free but i could really use the distraction and the pain right now #ugh maybe my therapist was right when she mentioned going back to the hospital #at least then i wouldn't be expected to do all these things and act normal #i feel like i need to get through this weekend and then if im still feeling this way and insurance hasnt approved the ketamine #then i should consider hospital #but i have to go to philly for my twin sister's graduation. i am so happy for her and all but it's just going to be really hard #with how I've been feeling lately in addition to how graduation just reminds me of all my failures #i was supposed to graduate last weekend. my sister and i were supposed to graduate at the same time #all my friends are graduating too #and im as depressed and hopeless as ever #i dont know what to do #im going to ruin everything if i go but my sister will be upset if im not there #i just dont think i can handle being in philadelphia all weekend

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skunkg1rll · 7 months

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#ok ok so what im hoping for now is that i'll pass my course #and that im fine for the surgery and that the surgery turns out well without any bad side effects or complications #then i can start recovering nd hopefully gettin my health back #after a couple of months i can probably start going to the gym again #then i'll also apply for a loan and do the rest of my classes thru distance #it'll be a lot of work but if im feeling ok physically nd can eat nd work our then it'll be fine #as i start feeling better i'll try to reach out to my sisters and talk to them. i miss them sm and i cant keep it like this #after the first classes are done i'll apply for 4 more classes nd a loan just to buy myself some time #and then i'll keep working on my mental and physical health #after that i'll either try getting a job or applying to uni or a craft/work related education #i'll keep trying to put myself in waiting lists for appartments #idk i will just keep trying with life. for my mom.#even if everything feels so fkn dark nd hopeless nd scary nd nightmarish rn. i cant leave my mom i just cant.#but im rlly hoping the surgery will go ok bc .. idk how to handle a life w all of those complications that can arise after #so im just rlly rlly hoping. my grandma nd great grandma removed their gallbladders nd they were fine. so im hoping i'll be too

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cheekblush · 6 months

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woke up early and took a bath, got my nails done and took a walk around the lake soaking in the sun but i still feel horrible 😔

#i'm just so tired of everything at the moment #i'm questioning my whole life and existence again... why can't i just be happy for once?#i have to work 44 hours next week the mere thought of that makes me want to puke #the sun is finally out again after so many gloomy days the weather is lovely but i can't even enjoy it bc my mind keeps going to dark places #i wish i could just focus on the positive things but i always think of the things i lack #sometimes i'm so overwhelmed with these negative thoughts #i just yelled at my dad on the phone over nothing really i'm such an ungrateful bitch sometimes tbh #things aren't even that bad rn but my mind keeps focusing on the negative things & it makes me feel so depressed & hopeless #☁️

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hawnks · 1 year

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the fact that the rights to Bee & Puppycat are once again in a contentious place and we’re probably gonna have to wait another decade for ANOTHER revival……. :’)

#this series is so important to me I can’t even explain it 😭😭😭😭😭#it’s like…. the original two episode short came out when I was struggling in highschool and Bee was everything everyone warned me about AND #she was just like me. endlessly optimistic and yet HOPELESS in all the ways society deems nessecary #she’s jobless and foolish and tries so hard #and now I’m her actual age and it’s like…. none of the characters ended up where they thought they would #no one is ‘successful’#but they’re still doing their best #and that’s enough and the world answers them where they are #sorry I’m drunkies and I’m feeling emotional about young adult women rn <3 #squawk tag

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miamicommune · 8 months

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#don't think this year ends well for me #just cannot survive this one everything is so hopeless #ive just been like. amassing things i could overdose on bc even on the good days it's on my mind. they're on my desk rn.#it's fucked. the moment i don't rly want to hurt myself anymore is the moment i actually feel like this could be it.#im not healing and everything is getting worse i know it's getting worse i can see it happening #idk.#kinda hoped something good would happen before it came to this

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widevibratobitch · 9 months

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#is it really imposter syndrome if i actually genuinely Cant Do Shit and Suck At Literally Everything?#kmskmskms idk maybe it's just my period but im really feeling so heartwrenchingly fucking hopeless rn its not even funny anymore lol

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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#it is truly so wild to go from feeling miserable and hopeless all the time for... lets look at my excel sheet #the last 23 days. then to suddenly rocket up to smiling to myself all day. the world is so fucking beautiful #for no rational reason aside from what i have to assume is a chemical shift in my body #like is this what happy ppl feel like all the time? its truely so crazy. have i always been like this?#did i not notice this was a thing? like ive definitely noticed it in the last year but like ???#my suspicion is that it doesnt actually last long enough to b considered hypomania but like idk i should see a doctor probably lol #u would think being happy would make it easier to do things but i just keep forgetting to do them and just like spacing out lol bc rn i #feel chill. even tho i need to make a list of the shit i gotta do by Friday. bleh. but idk it makes being in thr lab so much nicer bc i #mean. i still dont give a fuck abt what im doing but im like fuck it this isnt gonna b my problem in like 2-3 months. even tho im sure ill #still have to write up everything. but idk. it also makes it easier to b like. ok so i kno what my problems r lets plan yo make things not #so horrible so u dont just live a miserable life and then like die having lived a life of fear. like its so crazy how much easier thst is #to do rn??? well see how long it lasts but yea v strange. wish i could control my fucking focus tho. like that would b great #its like the fucking painting of hypnose. my focus is like a lighthouse wildly swinging its light around until it sometimes blasts me in #the face. like not helpful. i need to b able to do things.#i guess the weird thing rn is thst while i feel happy. i also have this like simmering fear of irrational things. like when i used to live #in my parents basement and i was terrified of the dark rooms down there at night. like that kind of childish baseless fear #but like im in i tiny tiny apartment lol like bro what r u scared of??? silly silly silly #idk hopefully it holds out the whole rest of the week and then i can travel and see my parents like !!! yo !!! happy vibes :-D #that would b kinda unhinged lmao. i doubt itll last thst long. its already slipped from this morning so we shall see #unrelated

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