#everything hurts and I am EXHAUSTED

[multifariousmayhem]

me going out: this is actually nice? why dont i do this more often?

me later when all the chronic pain and fatigue flares up: this is why

[sphylor]

gonns email in sick tomorrow cus fuck i cannot do another day...

[smarterthantheaverageloser]

How to lose 20 pounds in 3.5 weeks!

Have an autoimmune disorder

[running-in-the-dark]

oh no. I did too much today, which means I walked or stood up all day. and we're going to a concert tomorrow.... I'm very worried that my feet won't like it 😭

[dylanlila]

i know i had to force myself to rest for as long as i did, but mannnn... haven't felt this happy in such a long time... i am meee...

[strang3n1ghts]

the depression never ends, it goes on and on my friends

[adxmanial]

—

[im-a-dragon-cawcaw]

the need to make art VS the need to lie down in bed

you will not believe who wins

[threnodians]

i am having a very bad brain day today and i desperately need to stop being depressed and miserable and exhausted somebody please send help to pull me out of the trenches 🥲

[running-in-the-dark]

it's been a month since we moved into the new apartment -

I'm so stressed. everything is stressful. we're still not done building the kitchen but it's getting there (slowly). mostly we just need to wait until we get a couple parts that weren't in stock when we ordered the rest. I'm hoping it'll be done by next weekend.

some of it is very frustrating with my brain specifically. I'm so bothered by all the tiny little things that no one else would even notice - like, some of the handles on the drawers are very slightly crooked (as in, less than a millimeter higher on one side) - but for me it's so obvious that it's impossible to ignore. my husband didn't even know what I meant when I pointed it out to him. there's also been a few slightly bigger issues, but we've solved them now (I think).

my eye has been twitching for like three to four weeks. not all the time obviously, but every few minutes. it's very, very annoying.

we still have no new info about when we'll have internet finally. it could take a while still.

on Monday a guy has to replace something in the electric roller shutters in one room - but we don't know which one yet. so either I'll have to let him into my room (awful, uncomfortable, will have to tidy up tomorrow so he could even get to the window), or I'll have to get both our cats into their carrier if it's the one in my husband's room (awful, difficult, one of them doesn't like that so he'll be scared and I'll feel bad).

also on Monday the electrician will install our stove (if he has time). then we're getting two ikea deliveries. and I've got an appointment with my (new) GP because I need a prescription, and I'm very (verrry) nervous about it.

I miss watching TV. I miss tumblr and YouTube and messaging my friends whenever I want and sending them photos all the time. I miss order and structure and (some level of) routine. I miss using real cutlery (we still haven't found ours lol).

when I was finally starting to get used to the noises in this place, the family above us moved in with their baby that cries all the time very very loudly and most of the time right above my room. so now everything is different again and I'm not adjusting well and once again I can't sleep.

but, I've listened to 14 audiobooks since we moved! that's been nice. it was the same way when we moved the last time (just over a year ago..). my favourite by far was The Thursday Murder Club. I've got the other ones in the series but I'm trying not to listen to them too quickly, so I'm gonna listen to three other books first (one is done already, so I should get there on Monday or Tuesday hopefully).

[kingtankgirl]

going 2 just post this every time my boss drops it on me that im closing tonight even tho i fucking openeddd <333

[musashi]

every time i have a mental health episode i like have my initial freakout about being alone and needing someone to talk to and then in like the 11th hour when i'm long past the pain i am like flooded with love and support and instead of responding positively to it i just get really fucking scared, feel like i have manipulated everyone into caring about me, and hide in a fucking hole for days until it all blows over.

genuinely i just wish i had someone who would see me be like 'I HAD A BAD DAY AT WORK' and dm me like 'do you wanna talk about it? or do you want me to talk to you about franmaya.' and then we do that and i'm fine in 5 mins. but it's always either dead silence or walls of text about how great i am and it's just two different forms of torture like how do i respond to this besides just crying and isolating myself entirely.

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

[dragonheirs]

this apathy is really starting to get to me, all I can feel is this dull, persistent ache and I just want to claw my chest inside out. it's like my brain just went nope and cut me off from feeling anything about the outside world.

[youjustfeelthemforever]

.

[semisentient-entity]

it's a shitty night tonight and I am handling it horribly 😎