#evil hypnotherapy

[ellaenchanting]

50 Days of Fetishes Day 21: Evil Therapist Tropes

There's a lot I could write here that I won't but- this kind of thing feels like the height of corruption for me- the same way people have strong feelings about religious roleplay. A therapy session is such a vulnerable, open time and the idea of someone using that trust and those skills and that power in a corrupting way is delicious - like dark chocolate. Fun because it's SO wrong. I think the most twisted version I've done has been ageplay as an evil hypnotherapist secretly making someone's childhood hypnokink more intense- and playing around with a lot of grooming themes. Definitely not for everyone and obviously not ok irl but- that kind of sweet and dark can hit just the right toppy space for me in a scene.

BONUS RECS:

I made this kinda silly "evil hypnotherapist" file here- http://soundcloud.com/ella-enchanting/hypnotherapy

Script here if you want to read that first (it's a bit spoilery though- https://at.tumblr.com/ellaenchanting/evil-hypnotherapy-file-the-script/owv2p16nm3eh

I think Clinical Consultation is my best evil hypnotherapist story- https://readonlymind.com/@ellaenchanting/ClinicalConsultation/

Confidence is practically a scene log of how this play might look- https://www.readonlymind.com/@ellaenchanting/Day27Confidence/

Another, less evil hypnotherapist story here-

I really like this take from @sex-obsessed-lesbian -

And this really dark one from @jukeboxemcsa- https://mcstories.com/FleshForFantasy/index.html

Please link me your favorite evil hypnotherapist recs!

[creature-wizard]

If you're interested in hypnosis in any way, I think it's important to understand the role it played in the Satanic Panic, and the damage it caused.

I'm not saying you can't practice hypnosis. I'm saying that you need to be aware of what can happen when people practice hypnosis in a misinformed way.

To really oversimplify things, in the 1970s and 1980s, your Evangelical types were really buttmad over stuff like civil rights, women having jobs, and also legal abortion.

Evangelicals believe everything is a war between ultimate good and ultimate evil. Everything they disapprove of is therefore the work of Satan.

Everything they disapprove of, of course, is whatever they feel doesn't serve their Christofascist politics. Also, convincing believers that evil was lurking everywhere in the outside world was a damn good way to keep them in the fold, where they felt safe.

Hence you had Evangelicals claiming that rap and rock and roll were Satanic and loaded with subliminal messages encouraging the youth to commit sin. They claimed that Halloween was a Satanic holiday and trick-or-treating was some kind of Satanic rite, which meant that kids who went trick-or-treating were secretly worshiping Satan without knowing it!

Then you had scam artists like Mike Warnke come along and claim that there were actual Satanic cults plotting the downfall of good Christian society.

And then there was Michelle Remembers, a book that supposedly describes the totally real and not at all confabulated memories of a woman who would fall into trance states in her therapist's office and recount the most theatrically ghastly tales of things a Satanic cult supposedly did in Victoria, British Columbia.

And this is where hypnosis comes in.

See, there was this whole idea that hypnosis was a foolproof method for recovering lost memories, and all kinds of everyday mental issues were chalked up to repressed memories. Supposedly, people could be cured of their ills by uncovering the repressed memories.

People would undergo hypnosis and "remember" Satanic abuse, often from family members. The way these "memories" often contained elements from popular horror films, antisemitic conspiracy theories, and witch hunt propaganda raised fewer eyebrows than it should have.

Best case scenario, families were torn apart as children became convinced their parents were Satanic abusers. Worst case scenario, innocent people were put on trial and put in prison for crimes they never committed.

The lack of forensic evidence didn't stop people. They simply declared that the Satanists must have hidden or destroyed all of the evidence. Never mind the amount of work it would have required. Never mind the utter impossibility of hiding the evidence in some cases.

Also, the people who'd undergone therapy were often traumatized by their confabulated memories. Far from curing them, the hypnotherapy only made things worse, because they believed it was all real.

Anyone who has any interest in hypnosis, hypnotherapy, or even any sort of trance work should keep all of this in mind. Not everything you experience is going to be "real." And just as stress can make you more likely to have nightmares, it can also make you more likely to see scary things while in a trance.

[luxuryandlilacs]

Brainwashing Yourself to Become Your Dream Girl: thewizardliz, part 2

TheWizardLiz has so many gems! Here are more insights I’ve gathered from her videos:

You want your life to change, you need the change. You don’t like yourself, create another version of yourself.

Start taking steps towards your highest self.

Knowledge will get you so far in life.

You can’t always be kind to yourself. Sometimes you need a reality check.

You can’t expect help if you don’t ask.

You need to start assuming the world is designed to see you succeed.

Fall in love with the process of achieving your goals.

Don’t put the evil eye on yourself - become more private about your life. Don’t talk until it’s done.

As long as you keep moving forward, you’ll be fine.

Being a queen is your birthright.

Work on your communication skills. Good communication skills is extremely attractive.

Listen to people, let them talk.

Pick your battles wisely.

A lot of y’all get in trouble because of your mouth.

Don’t argue in public, don’t create a scene.

Look like you love yourself. At least look clean.

Eat like you love yourself.

Practice talking to the opposite gender everyday.

Heal your traumas with hypnotherapy.

Stop giving too many chances to people, they probably wouldn’t even do the same for you. No changed behavior, then they’re not welcome back into your life.

Practice dancing. Practice your sensuality. Moving your hips is really healing for a woman.

Walk and talk like you’re the biggest blessing on Earth.

Don’t talk bad about yourself. Just hold yourself accountable, don’t be mean to yourself.

Change your environment when you’re dealing with an addiction.

Let people meet you at your level. Don’t ever lower yourself, you’ll pay the price later.

[autogynephallic]

i keep getting fucking. ads for hypnotherapy weight loss on twitter!! this shit is just straight up evil wtf. i want like, the exact opposite of this LOL they should ​make hypnosis but for like. getting chubbier :3

[vegaseatsass]

Home School 14 spoilers

So I just caught up on Home School and ahhhh, they did the one thing I was most fearing. The Sky Castle thing, where you have an untenable and fucked up system that uncannily if exaggeratedly resembles the untenable and fucked up systems of our real world, and then one character is actually to blame for all of it, doing things for cartoonish, individual-backstory-having reasons, and all the other enforcers of the system escape culpability by comparison.

Like, I don't think the other masters completely escape culpability, not when the good OTP Dilak/Praeporn seem to be the only ones actively resisting what's been happening, but it's still an ughhh way of making their behavior seem less terrible without actual change or growth. Plus, I try to stay in my lane and not comment on colorism, so apologies if this is overstepping, but everything about Prasath's portrayal already felt pretty uncomfortable, and it just got so much worse.

I'll wait to see where the last four episodes go, but if I'm actually supposed to believe Amin started this school for good reasons and it was a good and loving place that helped orphans by hypnotizing them into normativity so their rich parents wanted them again I'm gonna... /shakes fist! And tbf his whole plan was never actually that, it was always using that (still probably fucked curriculum!!) as a cover for his revenge on society, but using desperate kids as his child soldiers was deeply fucked even before it became a violent revenge!!

But I'll see where it goes. In the clips the students watched of Run & Putha, Run seemed like an active and informed participant in the hypnotherapy. I still 100% do not think any of this is okay when done to desperate kids you're telling you will love in their shitty parents' stead, particularly if any of the curriculum was compliance-based beforehand, but it's significantly less evil to teach the kids what for example Headmaster Yani was doing with the girls, that society sucks and you deserve better, and enforce their confidence w/ hypnotherapy in ways they know about going in and are on board with, than to brainwash them while they're out into becoming your sleeper disruptors.

I just hate in stories like this when the drama and suspense and twists and turns are privileged over the potentially juicy and salient social commentary; it's a much more impactful story imo if Amin started something with good intentions that was terrible from the beginning. If, just as Bodin passed down his father's abuse, Amin passed down Bodin's power and control over him onto the children he now had power over.

That said, I still love all the kids, look forward to Maki and Run's reunion, and find Amin/Bodin very very juicy. Imo:

[poppyandzena]

Considering hypnosis has such a large kink community, I would be TERRIFIED of a therapist like Poppy who is a sexpest and wants to do hypnosis on clients.

I'd be concerned of any therapist who wants to include hypnosis because anybody who knows anything of the history of therapeutic practices knows that hypnosis DOES NOT have a good track record with therapy. It literally has direct connections to the satanic panic and a ton of quack therapists convincing their clients they were SA'd as kids by their parents when that....never happened. It also has a history with the diagnosis of DID and the wave of therapists in the 80s diagnosing every violent person (especially celebrities) as having an evil violent alter that was actually the person beating their wife.

You're speaking my hyper fixation love language LMAO. I hear satanic panic and my eyes dilate with ADHD.

I ALSO want to point out that having a hypnosis kink or similar kinks does not automatically make you an unethical therapist. Almost everyone is able to control their sexual urges and not act on them, and treat professional situations with the respect deserved.

Poppy refuses to manage her sexual desires and has time and time again been aggressive towards people who turn down her advances. She straight up has said that ethics are "stupid" when it comes to using therapy on people who are not her patients. I DO NOT trust her with hypnotherapy.

[ophelia-dk]

The problems with the myth of ”hypnosis can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do”

tl;dr What you want, or think you want, can be substantially manipulated, without your consent, with or without hypnosis. How do you think unscrupulous salesmen operate?

This myth is a half-truth at best; at worst, an abuser’s tactic (along with “you must have subsconsciously wanted it or you wouldn’t have gone along with it.”)

Your subconscious wants to, and will, protect you and keep you safe. This is how both useful and dysfunctional habits and beliefs arise and are maintained. A prior experience of a behaviour that accomplished this for you previously, teaches your subconscious that this is how to keep you safe. That’s the true part. This is why hypnotherapy works. There are reasons why hypnotherapists perpetuate the myth to clients, but that’s for another writing.

Because the subconscious isn’t logical, it can be manipulated to believe that there is a different behaviour that will still keep you safe, but will also fulfil other needs, be they sexual, a need for love, acceptance, belonging, and many other needs. This is the basis for hypnotherapy, but I digress again.

Almost every day, it seems, there is a newbie posting to the hypnosis groups on Fetlife, “I have a fantasy/dream/need/want about having my mind totally controlled and made to be someone’s helpless fucktoy. Someone please hypnotise me.” Nothing wrong with the kink in itself, but without knowledge or agency going into this play as a hypnotee, you’re opening yourself up to possible harm, whether intended or unintended. (There’s a difference between a hypnotist intending to harm and a well-meaning rookie hypnotist just not being educated or knowledgable enough about the pitfalls. We all started somewhere.)

The movie Manchurian Candidate is often referred to, but the film Murderous Trance, based on a true Danish story, where a hypnotist was actually convicted of murder by hypnotising the perpetrator to carry it out, is WELL worth a watch. It’s an example of how such manipulation can be carried out, using hypnosis, brainwashing and conditioning. The shooter was made to believe that the way to achieve what he wanted (to fight for what he felt was a good and righteous cause), was to do what the (evil) hypnotist suggested.

And before you think “that won’t happen to me; I’m smarter than that”, know that a clever, unscrupulous narcissist will identify your weak spots and needs (we all have them) and use them. Someone who wants to extract money from you, knows how to do this, too. This is how swindlers operate, and even otherwise intelligent people, can be susceptible.

So what do you do if you want to play with this kink, while staying safe from hypnotic manipulation? Simply arming yourself with some basic, conscious knowledge will go a long way. That’s also for a later writing, but the tl;dr of it, is to learn and KNOW that you have agency, even while hypnotised, and that it is possible to, *and that you can*, reject bad suggestions. (This is a simplistic tl;dr and needs unpacking and learning some skills, but again, later.)

Minds greater and more experienced than mine {smile} have written much on this topic; I’ll try to post links in another post. (If you’re one of them, I’d welcome a DM.)

Have fun and play safe!

[docrotten]

I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF (1957) – Episode 153 – Decades Of Horror: The Classic Era

“All right now, we’ll move in stagger fashion. We’ll circle the outer edges first and keep going round and round till we meet in the center.” And that’s called a “search grid?” Join this episode’s Grue-Crew – Chad Hunt, Daphne Monary-Ernsdorff, Doc Rotten, and Jeff Mohr – as they go for the winning combination of mad scientist and teenage angst in I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957).

Decades of Horror: The Classic Era Episode 153 – I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)

Join the Crew on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel! Subscribe today! And click the alert to get notified of new content! https://youtube.com/gruesomemagazine

ANNOUNCEMENT Decades of Horror The Classic Era is partnering with THE CLASSIC SCI-FI MOVIE CHANNEL, THE CLASSIC HORROR MOVIE CHANNEL, and WICKED HORROR TV CHANNEL Which all now include video episodes of The Classic Era! Available on Roku, AppleTV, Amazon FireTV, AndroidTV, Online Website. Across All OTT platforms, as well as mobile, tablet, and desktop. https://classicscifichannel.com/; https://classichorrorchannel.com/; https://wickedhorrortv.com/

A troubled teenager seeks help through hypnotherapy, but his evil doctor uses him for regression experiments that transform him into a rampaging werewolf.

  Director: Gene Fowler Jr.

Writers: Herman Cohen, Aben Kandel

Makeup Creator: Phillip Scheer

Selected Cast:

Michael Landon as Tony Rivers

Yvonne Lime as Arlene Logan

Whit Bissell as Dr. Alfred Brandon

Charles Willcox as Jimmy (as Tony Marshall)

Dawn Richard as Theresa

Barney Phillips as Detective Donovan

Ken Miller as Vic

Cynthia Chenault as Pearl (as Cindy Robbins)

Michael Rougas as Frank

Robert Griffin as Police Chief P.F. Baker

Joseph Mell as Dr. Hugo Wagner

Malcolm Atterbury as Charles Rivers

Eddie Marr as Doyle

Vladimir Sokoloff as Pepe the Janitor

Louise Lewis as Principal Ferguson

S. John Launer as Bill Logan (as John Launer)

Guy Williams as Officer Chris Stanley

Dorothy Crehan as Mrs. Mary Logan

A young Michael Landon, just a few years before rising to fame as “Little Joe” Cartwright in Bonanza, stars as Tony Rivers, a troubled teen struggling with anger management. Whit Bissell is featured as Dr. Alfred Brandon,  a psychologist (or mad scientist) with ulterior motives. Yes! Oh, yes, indeed! It’s the AIP/Herman Cohen campy classic, I Was a Teenage Werewolf. The Grue-Crew is in full Drive-In Theater mode for this one.

High-quality versions of I Was a Teenage Werewolf, streaming or physical media, are not available, but there is a reason. Susan Hart, the actress and widow of AIP co-founder James Nicholson, owns the rights to eleven AIP films outright: It Conquered the World (1956) and its remake Zontar, The Thing from Venus (1966); Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957) and its remake The Eye Creatures (1965); I Was a Teenage Frankenstein (1957); I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957); The Amazing Colossal Man (1957); Terror from the Year 5000 (1958); Apache Woman (1955); The Oklahoma Woman (1956); and Naked Paradise (1957). She frequently negotiates rights for merchandise and theatrical showings, but physical media has not been updated for release in decades. You can, however, purchase a VHS tape of the movie.

Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror: The Classic Era records a new episode every two weeks. Up next in their very flexible schedule, as chosen by Chad, is The Wasp Woman (1959). Yes, they’re sticking with 1950s B-movies, but moving from AIP/Herman Cohen on to Film Group/Roger Corman!

Please let them know how they’re doing! They want to hear from you – the coolest, grooviest fans: leave them a message or leave a comment on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel, the site, or email the Decades of Horror: The Classic Era podcast hosts at feedback@gruesomemagazine.com

To each of you from each of them, “Thank you so much for watching and listening!”

Check out this episode!

[spinalembrace]

I furiously binge-watched the two seasons of Wayward Pines (2015–2016) yesterday (missing at least one episode and parts of some, since I couldn't access them at all/in their entirety). Since I was watching alone, I decided to rant out my contemplations down on paper, which I will recount here (spoilers of course):

Season 1

If the Ballingers were revolutionists, why did they rat out Beverly, causing her to get reckoned?

Why on EARTH would they think public executions are the answer in a pseudo-community living off of lies? (See e.g. Camus' Reflections on the Guillotine [1957] for a humanitarian discussion of public executions.)

If putting people back to cryo-sleep is an option, why not use that with the citizens as well? Adults are fertile too — why aren't they such a precious resource to the company/cult as well? And — as long as people are thought of as resources, even in that ideology, isn't it a huge waste to respond to misdemenours with DEATH?

How homophobic and heteronormative is a community so focused on reproduction? (They turned to this question briefly in season 2, answer of course being very. I was not satisfied with the extent this question was discussed — being, it nearly was discussed at all.)

How is the company/cult not eugenic and nepotistic inherently? (It is.)

Why does Theresa show so much resent for Katie, when Ethan is the one who has consciously betrayed Theresa? Misogyny? Internalized misogyny?

The people running the company/cult are adults — on what basis do they then think adults are incapable of habituating to the new situation? Aren't the other adults then just worries about their own monopoly over power? Children might be the future but they are also easier to control — hence the adults leading the children are the ones creating the picture of that future.

Hypnotherapy is bullshit.

2000 years in the face of evolution is merely a blink of an eye.

How white and ignorant do you have to be to think culture = a couple classical piano concertos, classicist home decor, and a few paintings from 1500–1900s?

All the aberrations look have male bodies? What does this tell of the perception of evolution? Or degeneration? (This question was brought up in season 2, really not giving satisfactory answers and continuing to view sex and gender in an overly dichotomized and binary way.)

Why would the aberrations be more adapted to the 41st century? What is the evolutionary biology behind that?

How very lame to do the "evil man listens to classical music in a secluded mansion while others are dying on the streets".

Why does Wayward Pines have so much guns and ammo, if there is only one sheriff and the reckonings are done by hand?

Season 2

The aberrations don't seem that complex or scary.

Why does this season as well have to rely on a white male archetype to lead on the story?

The minute they find a female aberration, they dress them up (sexualize/shame their naked body) and find it even more convenient to abuse them.

Where the fuck did that guy get a twizzler?

There are no artists in Wayward Pines? Yet another depiction of "essential roles in society", where the arts and humanities are left out.

What are the ethics of weaponizing viruses, sacrificing oneself tp kill over one third of another population? What is the use of the evacuation? Don't the aberrations deserve to reclaim their territory, especially since the human invaders can save themselves in another manner? Didn't they learn anything about the possibility for cooperation?

The repetitious clips of the aberrations just screeching at the cliff do not do justice to the complexity of the aberrations. They seem like blood-lusted "monsters" yet again.

This is where my notes end. After sleeping through the night and rethinking Wayward Pines, I find the two seasons very discontinuous. Season 2 beginning with a voice over of Benjamin really set the mood to think they would be the main character — after the season I don't even remember what they did or what happened to them after all? It also was disappointing to see that Theresa's character was not developed further and they became a side character, even though the viewer was engaged to their character from the beginning. Also I can't stand, nor see the value or meaning, of the monogamous heterosexual quarrels happening in both of the seasons.

Okay bye !

[theartofruling]

Getting Back What I Lost Part 1 || Iris + Antonia Therapy Session

Who: Iris + Antonia (Mentions of Markus Olsen)

Where: Divine Palace

What:Iris undergoes hypnotherapy with Toni to regain memories of her past that have been lost.

Iris had been getting glimpses at what seemed like displaced memories for the better part of 6 months. It didn’t make sense so she went to her therapist. Antonia agreed to try hypnotherapy on her, specifically with her brand of mind control. She had Iris in a suggestive state and had mind-controlled her to tell her aloud what she saw. Even if the memories didn’t match her own recollection and even if she didn't want to reveal what she saw. 

“Tell me about the first time you met Markus,” Antonia guided. 

“We were at the palace in the falls during my captivity. The king introduced him to me. He was so handsome and so charming. He asked the king if we could dance, and we danced the night away. We talked the rest of the night and into the morning. I asked him to stay, even though he was a stranger. I felt safe. And he never once tried to touch me disrespectfully unlike most at the time. I kissed him first, and we shared sweet kisses all night in my quarters.” 

Iris knew that the memory she had for years didn’t reflect this. The normal memory was formal as if Vincent introduced them and they never spent the night together.

“Did you see Markus anymore after that?” Toni asked, spurring another memory. 

“Yes. I actually saw him regularly after that. There were times he sent me flowers when he couldn’t make it, and I felt like a person again for just a little while.” 

“Feeling human is good. What was the nature of your relationship? Was it purely physical? Or was it more.” 

Iris hesitated, trying to remember. She remembered kisses and makeshift dates. And at a point, Markus even convinced the king to allow him to take her out under heavy guard, of course. She remembered their first time sharing I love yous. She said it first not expecting more, but he said it back. They were in bed together after a ball he had taken her to and she didn’t want to take off the dress. He kept telling her how beautiful she was and Iris knew he meant it. Knowing how genuine he was spurred her confession of love.

“We were…in a relationship. We were…we were mates. But that doesn't make sense.” As she started to get overwhelmed years of memories came flashing back to her faster than she could grasp them. One broke her heart. A happy eight-year anniversary cake. “I can’t...I don’t want to do this anymore this is wrong. This isn’t right. It can’t be right. Please let me stop! Bring me back. Please. He’s going to take it! He’s going to take it!” She screamed.

Antonia counted her down and brought her out of the trance. “How do you feel?” she asked. 

“Confused. I have two lives contradicting each other in my head.” She used the tissue to wipe at her tears and she gasped. A memory of a tissue and someone wiping her nose came forth. She shook her head not wanting the sinister memory to spring forth. It was a bad dream of an evil man she had reoccurring when she was free from captivity but she never got the full dream. 

“When you were under you said he’s going to take it. Take what?” 

“We celebrated an eight-year relationship. Me and Markus.”

“Who did you think was going to take it?” 

“I…don’t know. I really don’t know. It doesn't make sense.” 

“We don't have to figure this out now. I have more questions but we can do more in another session to figure it out. I don’t want to push. Get some rest. Reflect on this contradictory eight years, and text or call me if you need me before our next session.”

Iris nodded, feeling very mixed up and confused. She didn't know what she was going to do or if she would tell Markus so early but she wanted to figure out what happened and what she truly lost.  

[encountersltd]

as large of a soft spot i have for 102 dalmatians the story could have been much more compelling if after cruella's hypnotherapy is reversed, instead of just going back to evil and staying there, she goes through a moral dilemma of either going back to a life of villainy for the sake of fashion or choosing to stay as a good samaritan to animals out of her own volition

over the movie she could develop as a person and almost go fully through with her evil plan but ultimately choose out of her own terms to stay good and reject her past life. she could throw that giant red and black coat to the wind in the big climax. it could be as much of a redemption story as possible for someone who once tried to skin pets

her fortune does end up going to the shelter in the end because she went back to her old ways for a while but something tells me that's what a reformed cruella would have wanted anyway

[roarwellness-blog1]

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[rowseofteeth]

Blasting evil music in my ears late at night as a form of hypnotherapy to become malignant

Mm

[ellaenchanting]

Request Fic for @ragezdasta

Prompt:” Normal hypnotherapy uncovers a person's dark hypnokinky past that was previously erased via intense memory play. “

Warning: This is not how any of this actually  works. 

Mistress owns my body. Mistress owns my soul. I am broken for mistress. Mistress owns my body. Mistress owns my soul. I am broken for mistress.

The voice droned on and on.

Clara was beginning to panic. She looked over at her couch and her frenzied client. Marianne's eyes were open, staring vacantly at nothing. Her voice was pitched high and frantic, like she was pleading with someone or engaging in some ecstatic ritual. Her breathing was high and fast. Her body was frozen as though in terror- except for one hand that slowly and absently rubbed at her cunt.  

Clara pulled her limp hand away.

It lingered in the air for a moment before resuming its’ teasing.

It was though she couldn't even feel it, Clara thought.

For the first time in her hypnotherapy career, Clara had no idea what to do.

After last week's disastrous meeting, she wasn't surprised when Marianne had called to schedule an emergency session a few days later. During her first few sessions, Marianne and Clara had decided to try a memory regression to help discover the cause of Marianne's sexual reluctance with her fiance.  But last week, when the regression had actually happened and Clara began to question her, Marianne had stiffened like a frightened animal. A look of shock had come over her face and she began reciting the same statements about being owned and broken, over and over. Her voice was both detached sounding and determined. It reminded Clara of watching possession movies.

Clara had tried to question Marianne further. She had even taken great pains to reassure her that she was safe and that it was OK to remember. But, despite everything, Marianne would only stare, recite, and touch. All Clara could do was talk her through an old trauma amnesia procedure- showing her how to box up this side of herself for the time being. She had been incredibly relieved when Marianne had come back to her regular self by the end of their session. At least, Clara thought,  that would give her another week to think about what to do next.

Clara didn't get her week. Marianne might not have remembered what happened during her regression- Clara had been careful to help her repress THAT information- but apparently Marianne had been suffering from ill effects anyway. She had told Clara that she hadn't been able to work, she hadn't been able to spend time with her fiance, she hadn't even been able to THINK properly since their last session. She found herself awaking from stupors only to realize with dread that hours had passed. Sometimes Marianne "woke up" wearing different clothes or in places that she didn't recognize. The only thing that Marianne could blame was her hypnotherapy appointment. She called and demanded that Clara see and fix her immediately- and threatened to sue her for malpractice if she didn't.

Clara desperately contacted all of her mentors before the session began to get help brainstorming how to help with Marianne's memory block. No one had seen anything like it before. Clara had taken notes on their ideas and tried all of their suggestions anyway . She even tried the "boxing up" trick that had helped last week.

No luck.

Clara looked at the masturbating woman across the room. If anything, Marianne had seemed to retreat deeper and deeper into herself over time, becoming more and more lost.

She began to have a sinking suspicion.

The mantras Marianne recited sang out to Clara. They were familiar, like the lyrics to a forgotten childhood song.  A few times, she even had a vivid flash of herself, lying in a similar position and brokenly reciting the same words of devotion. It was worrying- like feeling a new ache in a tooth that had long since gone dead.

It wasn't Clara who had broken Marianne. But she recognized the work of the one who had.

She decided to call Desiree. Her first mentor.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fortunately, Desiree picked up on the first ring.

"Clara, dear, how are you? How's your practice? I've been sending you referrals, you know!"

Desiree's voice was cheery and kind. Clara reluctantly noted that it still pulled on her attention, giving her little sparks of happiness that felt particularly unwelcome in her current circumstances. She respected Desiree's skill immensely but she knew she could never trust her. Not after what had happened between them.

She wasn't going to get pulled into Desiree's chit chat. "Do you know a Marianne Thomas?" Clara replied, accusingly. 

Desiree seemed puzzled. "I don't recall that name. Did she mention knowing me? Clara, dear, you sound so strange! What's wrong?"

Clara sighed. Took a picture of her masturbating patient. Hit send. Waited.

There was a long pause from the other side of the line. "Oh," Desiree finally replied, hesitantly. "I forgot that she was Marianne now."

Clara let the silence play out. She was too pissed off to speak.

When Desiree continued, her voice was regretful. "Laura- or I guess Marianne now- was my first. Twenty years ago. She was like you were when you were younger- she came to me saying that she had no limits and wanted to be completely broken. Completely brainwashed. There were...I didn't know exactly what I was doing at the time. There was no one to ask, no idea that that could be done safely. We didn't WANT it to be done safely. And we were both consenting adults.”

“I was curious about what I could do to her- what the limits were. I read up on cults, on psychological torture. I had all sorts of plans. I would keep her up all night, feed her very little, make her listen to my voice in her sleep. I knew she was becoming REALLY mine when she would only focus on her brainwashing. She started to punish herself for disobedience without prompting- and she'd reward herself the more mindless and obedient she became. That was really hot. I didn't want it to stop. Even when I felt like I was losing control of it, it was hot. I didn't...I didn't quite believe it was real back then. I thought we were mostly roleplaying, engaging in a collective fantasy. I was only doing what she wanted.”

“But, over time, Laura began to fade and disappear. She quit her job. I was fine with that- I made enough to support her and I liked having a brainwashed housekeeper in the home. She stopped seeing her friends. She even stopped responding to her name. It was like her personality just drained out. Towards the end, when she wasn't actively obeying me, she would just sit there in a stupor. Like she wasn't even a person.”

“At one point I even tried to get Laura back. I would tell her that she WAS Laura right now, that she could act like Laura. And she would..for a few minutes. But she couldn't sustain it. Laura wasn't there anymore-not really. She was only my slave.”

“And- well...that wasn't what I wanted.”

“I felt responsible for her, of course. I stayed....another 6 months after I knew it had to end. But- I couldn't condemn myself to be stuck as her caretaker forever. Not over a genuine mistake.”

“I did my research- even tracked down and  paid a good amount of money for some black market MKULTRA info. I figured out how they built a new personality in their sleeper agents, one that could function in day to day life. One that would feel real and whole to my slave in a way that Laura didn't anymore. One that didn't have to remember what Laura had been through.”

“And so...that's when I made Marianne."

Desiree's usually-confident voice had become more and more shakey as her story went on. She sighed.

Clara felt no sympathy. "So why is your Marianne stuck reciting mantras on my couch?" asked Clara, shortly. "And how do I fix her?"

"I'm guessing you tried a regression?" asked Desiree.

"Yes," said Clara, her voice cold. "She was having sexual compatibility problems. With her fiance."

"Fuck," said Desiree. "Of course she was. I never thought she'd manage to HAVE a fiance. OK, so you must have gotten her under deeply enough that she remembered her old self. It's like her old slave programming is coming through and she's trying to erase Marianne in the same way that she erased Laura."

"We've been here for 3 hours," said Clara impatiently, gripping her phone. "Her fiance will be looking for her soon. This is your responsibility. You need to come here. Fix her."

"That's a bad idea," frowned Desiree. "I think my going there would just...encourage the process. She needs more help than you'll be able to give right now. Let me think. Can I put you on hold for a minute?"

"What?! No you can't-"  Clara exclaimed, just as the phone went mute. 

She paced her office, frustrated and angry.

After some time, Desiree's voice came back on the other line. She sounded calmer now. More in control. Clara felt something inside her shift.

"OK, Clara- listen carefully. This is what we're going to do. You're going to call and arrange for an involuntary commitment for Marianne at the Cedar Crest psych hospital. Tell them that she's hearing voices that are telling her to harm herself. You may even want to suggest to her that she HEARS voices before you go- she's way more open to suggestion right now that she appears. You'll drive her to their admissions department. Dr Marshall will meet you there- he's a close friend and I've told him enough that he can handle the situation. A commitment will give him a few days to do so more thoroughly. Dr. Marshall can contact Marianne's fiance- you needn't bother. You'll return to your office and call me back. Understand?"

Clara wanted to object. This was completely unethical. She shouldn't let Desiree talk her into participating in this.

"I understand, ma'am", she heard her voice saying, as if from a great distance.

Desiree sounded relieved. "Good girl. Now go make your calls."

Clara hung up the phone, feeling clear and steady. She knew what she needed to do next.

[dangermousie]

CFC 75

Was running around like crazy today but I’d have to be dead not to read the chapter :)

I am incredibly amused in a ragefully satisfied way that evil org spent all this type brainwashing hypnotherapying He Yu and despite it seemingly working and XQC’s image getting “lighter and lighter,” all it took was one glimpse of XQC and all that “therapy” is undone undone UNDONE!

(But then it never truly worked because HY spent time still looking at XQC’s pictures even before that.)

But the thing that is horrifying to me is that the organization knows of He Yu’s attachment to XQC (they may not know the exact nature of it, but they do know the strength) and that is such an emotional violation. And they fact that they are trying to manipulate him under the guise of healing him gives me full body shudders - a person is so uniquely vulnerable with their doctor, any doctor, and it requires a degree of trust and cooperation to go along and they took it and twisted it (not to mention, they are trying to change the reality of someone who recently discovered his reality was not fully real - see XX - and it’s doubly disgusting.) In all the panoply of horrors in 2ha, the flower curse freaked me out by far the most and felt like the biggest violation and degradation, because it messes with the mind and mind is what your essential self is composed of, and this is giving me flashbacks to this (though of course not in the same intensity.)

And of course, it’s such a classic abuser tactic - to groom your victim by separating them from anyone who can help them. The fact that Anthony tries to remind HY fo XQC through manner/look to a degree so HY would have a positive impression!!!! The fact that the org keeps track of XQC!!!

The more we read of his mother, the more I get freak out. HY is trying so hard (and it shows how desperate he is for any, some affection!) but his subconscious is screaming at him and HY should listen to his instincts because they are crazy sharp - they had him trust XQC instinctively and now they are warning him against mommy (who threw him into the middle of the org) - and he should listen! That image of her as a frog yikes.

Even in MTL, I want to scrub my brain at that description!

I am so excited XQC is back at the end of this chapter. I missed him almost as much as HY did.

And you know something? HY is jealous and ragey and what else because Chen Man is also there. But he’s also alive! He’s vividly alive and awake and snapped out of his sleepwalking numbness. And it’s wonderful and that is why HY needs XQC - so he can live and not just exist; and some time I hope HY returns that favor to XQC some day and enable him to live vividly as well.

[southeastasianists]

Carolyn* can never get out of her head the memory of her parents bringing her to conversion therapy. The transwoman from South Sulawesi was 13 then, and society expected her to identify as male in accordance with her biological sex at birth.

“Deep inside, I kept telling myself that I’m not sick, that I’m okay,” she recalled.

Carolyn experienced ruqyah firsthand, a form of conversion therapy imbued with Islamic exorcism that is common among Muslim communities in Indonesia. Carolyn’s parents explained away her feminine expression as the work of a malevolent female demon.

At the time, the teenager did not fully grasp the situation she was in. She agreed to go along with her parents’ wishes due to her deeply embedded fear of sin.

Carolyn was taken before the local cleric, who prayed to expel the female demon in her body. The cleric also asked her parents to leave her with him for a few days so she could undergo several rituals.

“But at that time, I refused. I wanted to go home and didn’t want to be there. I was fine, I cried and said to my mom, ‘Mom, I want to go home, I’m fine,’” she said.

After begging her mother, Carolyn’s mother finally agreed to send her home on one condition: she had to stop expressing feminine traits and stop hanging out with her female friends. Carolyn repressed her feminine expression for several years after that day.

“To be honest, I felt very tortured. I felt very tortured mentally,” Carolyn confessed.

Carolyn said she placed a lot of pressure on herself over the years. She never felt that she was a man. She was always more comfortable expressing herself as a woman. In the final year of high school, Carolyn decided to stop lying to herself and her family. She ran away from home and learned to become a hairdresser at a salon that accepted her gender expression.

In the early days of Carolyn’s emancipation journey, her past and concerns over her identity continued to haunt her. Not a day went by that she didn’t fear persecution, socializing with others, fully expressing herself, all the while saddened by the irreparable burned bridge with her family.

Even now, at the age of 32, Carolyn is still traumatized by her conversion therapy experience. She gets easily triggered by watching religious TV shows or films that feature ruqyah scenes.

But ultimately she believes that she made the right choice, because nothing can take away her freedom to fully express herself as a woman and her achievement of becoming a fully functioning adult in a society that generally does not tolerate her people.

“I also feel comfortable and feel very relieved that in the end, I can accept myself as a transwoman. I feel like I have found myself. This is me, I am a transwoman,” she stresses.

In contrast to Carolyn, Sofia*, a lesbian living in the capital, was encouraged by her family to undergo ruqyah when she was old enough. By that time, she was mature enough to make her own decisions; and so she ran away from them.

“At that time, I was 25 years old and I was studying for my master’s degree. My position was quite privileged, right?” Sofia said.

Living in Jakarta, Sofia was more exposed to open discussions on the issues of gender and sexuality. When her mother asked her to go to therapy, Sofia was already certain about her sexual orientation. Furthermore, she had been involved in the advocacy for gender and sexuality issues.

“So I think there was nothing to lose at that time, and my identity is the core of my life,” she said.

However, Sofia’s refusal for therapy did not sit well with her family. She said they still pressured her “recover” to the point that they used violence against her.

“But I didn’t want to. I insisted because they already know me as a lesbian, so why do I have to back off?” she said.

Sofia believes that her knowledge of diversity in gender expression and sexual orientation was one of the biggest sources of courage that emboldened her to emancipate. If LGBTQ+ people are exposed to the same knowledge, Sofia said, they will be able to accept their identities and acknowledge that they’re not the problem — homophobia and conversion therapy are.

“We must fight together to convince the world that being gay is okay. You need to learn about yourself. You’re not sick. It’s society that’s sick,” she added.

Ika*, a transwoman from North Sumatra, experienced conversion therapy when she was 13, 17, and 18. The methods that she went through were quite diverse, ranging from ruqyah, to burial rituals, admission to Islamic boarding schools, and goat sacrifice.

None of them worked. And she said she had to live with the constant pressure from her parents to get rid of her feminine expression, which, according to them, was also the work of a demon.

“What should be removed from my body? Because according to their assessment, there is an evil spirit who made me like this,” Ika said.

“In my opinion, conversion therapy is bullshit.”

Ika now works for an NGO advocating to end HIV discrimination and stigma suffered by trans communities.

‘Individual will’

Conversion therapy is not a new phenomenon in Indonesia, but the matter was hotly discussed recently when several Indonesian queer activists, including Lini Zurlia and Kai Mata, received targeted ads on social media encouraging them to undergo conversion therapy.

“It feels like I was targeted by a group of people. It made me upset, especially because this is very sensitive regarding LGBTQ+ rights in Indonesia,” Kai Mata said.

“What I think the government should do is to make it illegal. I also think that LGBT people in Indonesia deserve the right to live in this country without fear.”

Attempts to contact the conversion therapy service through the ad failed as of the time of this article’s publication. Another conversion therapy center in Jakarta, which claims to use hypnotherapy as one of its “healing” methods, did not come across like it has a vendetta against LGBTQ+ people despite providing the harmful service.

“When does sexual orientation become a problem? It happens when the values that are taught ​​[by people’s environment and family] are different from their sexual orientation,” therapist Adrianto Darma Setiawan said.

Adrianto claims to have treated around 2,500 patients in the last 12 years. About 20 percent of these patients are (or were, if he succeeded) gay, lesbian, or bisexual. The standard therapy to “heal” sexual orientation consists of about about five to six hypnotherapy sessions lasting around three hours per session.

Adrianto said that some of his patients underwent therapy out of their own accord, but most were there due to encouragement or pressure from relatives. The therapist did not say how many of his patients he managed to convert, but said that “recovery” depends on the will of the individual.

The government’s failure

Imam Nahei, a commissioner at the National Commission on Violence Against Women (Komnas Perempuan), said that LGBTQ + groups in Indonesia still have a long way to receive adequate protections from the government. For as long as homophobia prevails in Indonesia, conversion therapy will remain as one of the most harmful and real threats that haunts people from minority sexual groups in Indonesia.

Nahei said that conversion therapy is an obvious human rights violation, yet the state, which should be responsible for protecting all of the country’s citizens, has not done anything to protect LGBTQ+ people from the practice.

“The state has not done anything because, in Indonesia, this issue is still very controversial as it is associated with dominant religious views,” Nahei said.

There’s little hope for progress in this regard when homosexuality and alternate forms of sexual expression are still seen as a deviation or a disorder by the country’s lawmakers, such as House of Representatives (DPR) Commission VIII Deputy Chairman Marwan Dasopang.

Marwan supports the existence of conversion therapy in Indonesia. Not only that, he wants DPR to eventually pass legislation allowing the state to provide the service to the public. If conversion therapy was normalized, he argued, patients would not experience extreme psychological trauma, such as from being forced to “recover” by their parents.

“It needs to be regulated,” Marwan said, adding that discussion on the regulation of conversion therapy are still in their infancy.

Indonesian policy makers, and even psychiatrists, have long gone against the scientific fact that homosexuality and other sexual identities are not a disease or disorder. Their stance have emboldened homophobia, which, in turn, has fostered the continued existence of conversion therapy.

Riska Carolina, director of Advocacy and Public Policy from the Support Group and Resource Center on Sexuality Studies at the University of Indonesia (SGRC UI), said among the many forms of conversion therapy in Indonesia, most are performed with ruqyah. Others who aren’t forced to go the conversion therapy route are still made to see shrinks who practice with heavy religious influence, hypnotherapists, or admitted to religious boarding schools.

“[Conversion therapy] is a threat to the LGBTQ+ community. It is persecution to the LGBTQ+ community. It violates their basic human rights. LGBTQ+ people are not a disease,” she stresses.

Riska believes that regulating conversion therapy would violate the minority groups’ rights even more than they have suffered. Even if the therapy is carried out based on patients’ willingness, Riska argued that it still validates the idea that LGBTQ+ people have mental disorders.

“Conversion therapy must be banned. It is more necessary to provide protection, even though I know that protection is still a long way off. So I prefer that, at least, [the government] treats us equally and gives us affirmative action,” she said.

“I’m ashamed to know that Indonesia is very late in terms of acceptance and it’s already 2021. You don’t need to like LGBT people, but you also don’t need to discriminate against us, especially to the level of torture. What you do with conversion therapy is torturous.”

*Carolyn, Sofia, and Ika’s real names have been omitted, at their request, to protect their identity.