#except for hades and ares FUCK those guys

[raineyraven]

okay in my third playthrough of stray gods now and i only just got to the dialogue options with persephone where she explains her relationship with hades, how he doted on her to control her and how she convinced herself her kidnapping was a good thing, and how apollo didnt help her when she was trying to get to her mother and like. fuckin holy shit dude.

this game in general is just a punch to the gut. the lore is as dark and gross as the original myths were, while many other adaptions file down the claws of the original myths. but stray gods doesn't even follow the original myths much, focusing much more on the life of the idols in the last two or so centuries. it's so creative how they adapt these characters to be so unlike our expectations of what they would be like but maintain the dark themes present in their myths. the greek gods in this game are so different to all other interpretations, yet they feel so genuine.

i LOVE playing a game that doesn't soften any blows, it's incredible.

[gildeddlily]

can I say something?

something I've started to not quite dislike, but not appreciate much about pjo was the way rick riordan talked about and characterized some gods- like Ares (still understand why he did that tho).

personally, as a kid who grew up reading myth after myth, I've always loved Ares, and when I re-read after years the pjo books some months ago I noticed how some of the gods are kind of lazy-written, or simply treated badly- as characters ofc.

one of them is Ares.

Ares is kind of impossible to appreciate in the books.

the only good moment he has is the "that's my girl" with Clarisse (but it still happened after years of neglect so yeah, not so great at the end), and then it's all bad, and he kind of gets ignored in favour of other gods- like Poseidon, who does mistakes but still can be appreciated, and is someone we could even relate too. Hades, Persephone, Hermes, Apollo and Artemis, they were we can say well-rounded second characters.

Demetra, Dionysus (except for the "protect my son" bit in the fifth book loved him for that and in general him with pollux and castor) but especially Aphrodite and Ares are just there so symbolize something Percy and us readers dislike.

(this is about Ares, but I could talk ab Aphrodite for hours (another day bud))

Ares is fucking cool.

he's the god of war, so unlike some of his other relatives his domain can never get weak, because humans are always fighting, there's always a war somewhere- but the way rick wrote him kind of erased the part where people prayed to him in order to not only beat someone and win a conflict, but also to survive one.

who attacked first prayed for Ares to help them, who was attacked and fought back prayed for Ares to make them survive and exit the conflict as winners, because there are always two sides in a war, and Ares represents them both.

but I can understand why rick ignored this part of him and reduced him to an extremely strong god who loves conflicts- and why, as a 11ys kid I didn't really got that. I was just sad that my fav god wasn't a cool guy. now I'm older, and I notice that, but still I don't blame him for writing Ares like that.

it's a kids book, and I can't pretend from it to be the greatest thing ever written, and I can appreciate these books with ease.

(and yk, war may be natural, but it doesn't mean it's right, so it's normal that a kids book characterised the god of war as someone despicable.

every god is despicable (as it should be, not so strange from the god of death to steal from earth someone young and all springy and trap them in his realm, it's kind of how life works!!!), but it's hard to explain kids how sexual assault and murder were their breakfasts and lunches, while war=wrong is easy and right! so)

but the show changed that?

it's changing a lot of things, but first of all it's dealing with things about greek gods that were ignored or set to the side in the books- the way it so heavily say, again and again, how the life they expected demigods to live was wrong.

but, honestly, I simply loved Ares.

not only for the twitter fights, but for his talk with grover mainly.

and even though grover said those things in order to manipulate him into telling him what he wanted to know- it was more than nice to see how they fixed and perfected an almost ignored character (in the books a strong, too prideful and not-at-all wise god).

can't what to see what they'll do with aphrodite my wife and pride!!!!

[cephalopod-celabrator]

Which major Greek gods I think you least want to get on the bad side of:

They will be rated on a scale of 1 to 10 based on how easily provoked they are, how effective they are at getting revenge, and how likely they are to take your loved ones as casualties. 0 means you're fine, 10 means that you are in fact fucked

Zeus: 8/10 Now Zeus is one of the most easily provoked, because in order for him to endanger your life all you need to do is be attractive or be near someone attractive. If he dislikes you he'll kill you and if he likes you his wife will kill you. Neither of them are known for being precise with their wrath, so you're family, especially any child had with Zeus, are going to be in for it too. The only reason he's not higher is because he might, might, protect you from Hera and he doesn't really have the attention span or precision to make sure that he finishes the job if he tries to kill you Poseidon: 8/10 The lord of the ocean is lest lustful than his lil bro, a low bar, but he's still pretty easy to provoke. He's also not very good at making sure the job gets done, but he is probably the most indiscriminate with his wrath. He'll endanger your friends, your family, everyone near you, and/or your city if he feels like it. Hades: 5/10 Now Hades is pretty hard to piss off, all things considered. Don't go out of your way to defy him, his wife, or the natural order of death and you'll be fine. The only reason he's not at like a 2 is because if you do cross him or his wife Persephone, you are so spectacularly fucked. He might not do anything to you in life but once you shuffle off that mortal coil oh boy. Enjoy being physically and psychologically tortured for literal eternity. Hestia: 0/10 Okay, you have to try like crazy hard to piss of Hestia. It takes monumental stupidity and even if you do, probably the worse she'll do is refuse to ever bless you again. But you should still be ashamed of yourself. Hera: 6.5/10 She has more self-control than her husband and if you're careful you can avoid breaking any of her rules, but if you catch his eye then I'm sorry. Your family will likely be in danger if you draw her ire, and you don't have great chances of survival but it's not impossible. Demeter: 5/10 As far as gods go she's one of the more laid back ones, except when it comes to her daughter. I mean, mess with her nymphs or what have you and your ass is dead, but you'd have to be pretty stupid to draw her attention. The only reason she's not lower is that she causes starvation and hypothermia through the winter she brings each year, but there's not much you can do about that. Athena: 6.5/10 It depends on the interpretation of her but she usually won't smite people unless they directly challenge her or whatnot, but she's still got a bit of a temper on her. And it should be self-explanatory as to why making an enemy of the goddess of strategy and war is not a good idea Hermes: 2/10 I honestly can't think of any myths about the wrath of Hermes, but he still seems like a guy who can be dangerous if you end up on the wrong side of him Ares: 5/10 You'd think the god of carnage and war would be higher, but you're main concern with him is if you end up on the battlefield with him or if you directly aggress against him or those close to him. Dionysus: 6/10 I'd say he falls about middle of the road when it comes to the touchiness of gods, but I really wouldn't recommend pissing off the god of madness. I was going to give him a lower score then remembered the herd of murderous maniac women who follow him, so. Aphrodite: 8/10 Aphrodite is probably the easiest god to piss off because she will take anything as an insult and might randomly decide that you need to die so your partner can get with someone else or something. She's sloppy about her work too, which both means that you have relatively good chances of escaping her wrath and that everyone around you is likely to get caught up in it Hephaestus: 2/10 I mean, he mostly targets his anger at other gods who have wronged him, but I could see a mortal ending up as collateral of some scheme of his. Mostly the dude wants to be left alone

Apollo: 10/10 Yeah, this dude has one of the highest bodycounts of any Olympian, both in terms of murders and hook-ups. And quite a few combinations of both. He's almost hornier than Zeus and less likely to discrimenate between men and women, but his lovers have a slightly higher survival rate. He's pretty easy to piss off and when you do get on his bad side, you're unlikely to find a proportionate response. He will unleash plague, disaster, and/or a rain of arrows on anyone who he doesn't like the vibe of. Artemis: 9.5/10 Now you could argue that Apollo and her should switch ratings, but I think the twins are probably the deadliest gods out there. Artemis is also quite easy to piss off and if you don't give the proper offerings or disrespect her, she will show you that the bow isn't decorative or maybe send wild animals to rip you apart. You'll be lucky if she stops at you though, because your kids or really anyone in the same country as you are a potential casualty. I would say out of all the gods, Artemis is the least likely to fail to kill someone she's decided needs to be six feet under. She doesn't miss. And if you hit on her, you've basically just signed your own death warrant.

[nightshadedawn]

Persona 5 Royal Playthrough pt3

I ended up going through two Palaces before I could update y’all. Oh well.

...Yeah, no, quit calling me Miss Special Snowflake's boyfriend. It's not happening.

Ryuji, Morgana, and Yusuke having a conversation in the laundromat: "It's like he's our mom," says Ryuji... the mom friend.

Every time Morgana is like "I have to turn into a human so no one else can have Lady Ann!" then expects no one else to hear him makes me laugh. Like, bitch, no.

I have the restaurant in my Thieves Den 'cause I like it. Yusuke, Ryuji, and Morgana are there. They're so precious.

I got a three in a row Tycoon on cutthroat!!!

Ryuji and Ann just keep going "Shoulda figured" and other versions of the statement every time I win.

Ann just rejected Morgana's feelings HARD. I am happy.

Ryuji is too good, honestly. Why would anyone not like him? He's... He's always trying to build the team up, make them proud of themselves and what they've done. I will admit that he has his moments of being not a great human, but they're teenagers who were given absurd powers, so honestly, can you blame them?

I didn't know darts was an actual minigame! There's so many minigames. I'm so happy.

I don't like Akechi. I don't know why some people do. Like, his death scene was a bit... too late for a redemption for me, right after he tried to kill Joker, several times. His pain is understandable, but still... I can't.

Their "two sides of the same coin" also doesn't seem particularly fair. It's totally uneven in everything but color schemes.

Guys, GUYS, please, PLEASE decide whether you're going to react to my teasing or not.

"We don't have to deal with them directly," Ryuji says joyfully about the mafia. Oh you sweet, sweet, innocent child, if only you knew what I do.

I literally can't play this game around anyone else because I tend to yell "BABY!" to Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke and "BITCH" or "FUCKER" to... a rather long list of villains in this game... and Makoto.

I can literally feel Yusuke's anxiety about his painting when you take him to Leblanc to see Sayuri.

How can you say Yusuke isn't gay when he says everything I do is beautiful?

I love Ryuji's 9th social link. It's LITERALLY written like a confession scene. This also means I kinda hate it because... I can't date him.

Also... PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI

I actually kinda thought that the new scene for Ryuji being a crossdresser is kinda funny??? Is this bad??? I wanna see him in a dress, tho. I gotta agree, he'd be a natural. Not the like, painfully obviously not taking it seriously from the dancing game, though.

Though I do think it's valid that he freaks out when two strange adults come up to him and try to take him somewhere, especially in a place known for being shady, and at night.

...When Ryuji complains about it, I do feel bad about ditching him. Then again, I blame the cat.

Ryuji may be my ideal type on paper, but I'm also highly attracted to Yusuke and this is so totally unfair.

*softly chanting* butlers butlers butlers butlers

Don't mind me just... *makes meticulous plot to avoid having Makoto join the team that i may or may not write a fanfic about*

Makoto is one dumbass bitch. Like, honestly, there's nothing she does that's in any way remotely smart.

...I thought I'd just skip Makoto's scenes until she became relevant, but here I am, still skipping her scenes. Does that mean she’s still irreleveant?

"Witch" I suggest, and Makoto complains! "Would you prefer "Bitch"? I can use that too.

I put Yusuke on the team in the middle of the palace through settings, replacing Morgana, who had been standing right behind me. Which made Yusuke stand right behind me. It looked like he was holding onto my waist and standing uncomfortably close. Bro, babe, I love you, but not in front of my boyfriend and girlfriend!

Just accept the compliment, guys, I'm not going to compliment Queen.

...Opening chests with Ann or Ryuji is just so sweet because they're so affectionate and touchy feely. Especially Ryuji.

Math. Fucking. Sucks. I should not have to use math in a game. I hate this. Obviously it's the Palace Makoto comes in that this happened.

Well, I finished the Palace in a day. I love the feeling. But it was getting close there. Joker and Yusuke were down to no spells...

...Yoshizawa hasn't showed up yet. When is she getting shoehorned in?

WHY IS THE VELVET ROOM RED!?

My very first playthrough I didn't execute a single execution except for the first one we have to do. It  really screwed me over my second playthrough...

...I broke the electric chair. That's certainly something that happened.

147 games of Tycoon later and I've only been a beggar 31 times in total, versus the pure thirty wins in just Cutthroat.

They're in their summer uniforms and it makes make miss warmer weather already. It's fucking snowing outside. Grrrr.

Beat Kaneshiro! ...Wasn't a fan of his new boss battle. I'm even playing on safe mode! But whatever.

Makoto is a DISASTER at Tycoon. She exclusively got beggar all three times I played with her!

...RYUJI YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT AND NOT LET ME DATE YOU.

Ann, sweeties, baby, you're doing so well.

She confessed to me, then in the call afterwards it was basically insinuated I proposed... WHICH IS LIKE FUCK YEAH 'CAUSE SHE ACCEPTED IT.

It makes me think of the future conversation where they're talking about marriage.

Anyway, if you haven't noticed, l love Ann.

My next playthrough I'm not gong to date her, though. I'm a completionist and I want ALL of the possible awards. But... I refuse to cheat on Ann. So I'll date everyone else then just hang with Ryuji... despite how cringy some of the date things are.

...If Akechi wasn't, you know EVIL and tried to KILL ME, SEVERAL TIMES, I might, MIGHT, like him. But in truth, I think that's really just the Persona 5: Revival talking. We get... into some stuff during that.

I know that either Atlus or the translators know EXACTLY what goes on in the Persona fandom because otherwise "He's too pretty to be wrong" would not be an option when talking to the newspaper girl about Akechi. I have to agree with her that his looks aren't really, you know, awesome enough for that.

Also, I read it as "He's too petty to be wrong" at first and I think that's an accurate sum of his character.

YO AKECHI-FUCK I HAVE NO NEED TO SEE YOUR ASS LIKE THAT WHEN I HAVE BOTH A BF AND AND GF.

...fucker fucking giving me shit about my fake glasses...

If you COULD date the boy out of mod, Akechi would definitely be the one they were pushing you to date. Like Makoto. Or Yoshizawa.

But hey, at least I get to not be nice to him.

I remember seeing this picture where Ann, Ryuji, and Joker kept going to the movies together and seeing 3D movies, and Joker couldn't wear the 3D glasses properly because of his own. I keep imagining that picture during this event with Caroline and Justine.

You know what? Some people call Joker a loli lover because of them, but nope! He's just adopted two more siblings. That is my stance on it.

FUcking

Fucker

WHAT THE FRRRRRRRR

FUCK YOU ATULS OR TRANSLATORS OR WHATEVER

APHRODITE AND MARS ARE FROM TWO DIFFERENT MYTHOS. Aphrodite is GREEK, Mars is ROMAN. Their reversed are VENUS and ARES. USE ONE OR THE OTHER PEOPLE.

I get very pissed about this, and it's worse with Hades.

7/4 is the day I am screaming at, if you were wondering.

My dad asked me if the other students think Joker's stupid because every time I answer a question right they get all surprised.

I don't really like Makoto, as I'm sure you've noticed, but she was super nice about Ryuji's special move idea. And that put her ahead of Akechi in my book.

TESTS ARE NERVE WRACKING EVEN WHEN THEY'RE FICTIONAL

Yusuke and Ryuji are good boys, the best boys. And they're so awesome about their special move.

AND RYUJI OFFERED MONEY FOR YUSUKE'S FOOD. And implied that he did it before???? Ryuji, you best boy.

This boys' outing DOES make me happy, though. Like, insanely happy. Dunno why.

Maybe because Joker gets to be so flipping cheesy.

...fuck you, Yoshizawa.

HONESTLY WHAT THE EVER LOVING--- Grr. Too many choices while with her. Too many. OOC Joker when with her. 0/10.

I LOVE THE FESTIVAL PHOTO

And you know, it's really hard to choose between Lala-chan and Ann, but... GONNA TAKE ANN ON A DATE

Got her some flowers. Lets see if we can give them to her this time!

"Such a good FRIEND." Babe, we're DATING. For like, TWO WEEKS NOW.

AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GIVE HER FLOWERS

Ann called Yusuke a pretty boy, but then she's missing out on the REAL pretty boy, Pretty Boy Ryuji.

Ryuji, why're you so worried about other girls when you've got ME?

"I like the shade." "What are you, moss!?" Oh, admit it, Ryuji, I'm growing on you.

Cargona. Snrk. Gods, I love you, Ryuji.

Dome town with Ryuji! "Isn't it all couples?" That's the point!

I COULD GIVE RYUJI THE ROSES!?

Sadly, I bought those for Ann. Ryuji, you get the noodles.

AND HE FUCKING LOVED IT.

"It feels like I really captured Ryuji's heart!" FUCK YEAH I DID

Gonna give Yusuke the bracelet when I get the chance.

Why is everyone color coded in the chat room? Kawakami, Akechi, Mishima, and the reporter are all ORANGE. What's the point? Well, Akechi's more of a golden orange, but close enough.

While Mishima is not my first choice for a date, he's definitely not my last.

...But the boy really needs some fucking sleep. He's not drawn with the bags under his eyes, but I can see them!

It's not fair that they give Akechi a kicked puppy sprite. I'm... goddamnit, they're trying to make me not hate him.

When Makoto doesn't know something, I'm brought great joy.

NO DAD MAKOTO IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND ANN IS AND SHE IS LITERALLY R I G H T T H E R E

First day in Futaba's Palace! I've gotta say, this is my second favorite palace. Kamoshida, Futaba, Madarame, Sae, Okumura, Shido, Kaneshiro, Holy Grail. In that order. I HATE Kaneshiro's place and dealing with the Holy Grail. But whatevs, man. I love this game. (Vanilla, at least, this one is still on the fence)

I found out a cool little thing. On the uphill sand slopes in the town (don't know about anywhere else) if you're running and turn back quickly, Joker will do a little animation to steady himself. It was cool and made it seem, I dunno, more human? Anyway, while I was admiring this, Ryuji and Yusuke just stood at the top of the slope and Ann followed me while I was running. Best girlfriend ever.

Kin-Ki is looking pretty kin-ky if you know what I'm sayin'

Please don't murder me because I do terrible puns.

*we fall through the trap door* *Ryuji starts screaming* Same, baby, same.

...Makoto is seriously annoying. Like, she's got no business acting as familiar with Futaba's situation. The one who WOULD be the most familiar is Yusuke, and I'm glad he recognizes that. It's not the exact same, none of their stories are after all, but I feel like those two get each other better than even Ryuji and Joker understand each other.

Yusuke and Ryuji's special attack is THE BEST

Ryuji and Joker getting up close and personal in the shadows. All those fanfics coming true, man.

I thought Futaba was sloth, not wrath? Why are her Will Seeds called Wrath?

Beat it in one day! It's so satisfying to watch all those achievements when I leave the palace.

You know, I'm thinking of wearing the Christmas outfits for the final battle. Just to be kinda funny.

Spending a relaxing day with Yusuke after going through Futaba's Palace... kinda want to take him to the bathhouse to check out that new scene, but I also REALLY wanna feed the boy... gonna feed the boy.

Apparently I can only make 'decent curry.' Which is fine. Because "I" can't make curry at all. Joker, you've done much better than I.

THE DATE CHANGE SCREEN HAD A RAINBOW AND RYUJI WAS COMING OVER ON THE SAME DAY FUCK YEAH MY BISEXUAL BABY

...Broooooo, the way you talk about your manga is how I talk right before I start shipping.

Took him to the bathhouse, 'cause I don't gotta worry about Mama Sakamoto feeding him.

...Can I take Ann to the bathhouse?

Asked Ryuji to move in. He was all up for the idea until he remembered that I live in an attic.

I'm Charismatic now!

...I was all hoping Ann would stop by but then Akechi asked me out. Laaaaaaaame.

Ryuji's smile is so fucking cute.

...I say we just be honest, and everyone's so fucking stupid about it until Makoto explains it. This pisses me off. They're not that dumb... At least, they weren't until Makoto showed up.

Futaba's hiding in the closet. ...I've spent too many weeks making jokes about closets to not have a joke about it.

Really, Yusuke? You see those books and think she can't understand?

...Wait, that sassy tone of voice... You were TRYING to pull a reaction of her. I knew I shipped those two for a reason. OTP and BroTP. Doesn't matter, they're both awesome.

I love you Ann, but I don't think your situations were the same at all. It's not like both are valid and bad, but... different.

Joker is SO fast compared to the others, especially when he's speeding.

What the...

Holy fuck...

JOKER IS TOO EFFING COOL

THAT MOVE TO GET FROM THE ENTRANCE TO TO TREASURE DOOR? Awesome!

Damn, Joker has my heart too.

I kinda wish we could see Futaba's costumes in her Persona. That would be pretty neat.

The moment right before Wakaba appears is so aesthetically pleasing.

...Futaba being happy is almost enough for me to accept Maruki's offer, and I haven't gotten there yet.

Ryuji and Ann keep smacking each other out of their ailments. Like, you guys just love each other so much! It's awesome.

Joker has lackluster responses to Wakaba... I'm hoping that isn't one of those "Answer these wrong and you break her!" things... Not that I think I was, but still.

I liked Futaba's new animation for when she defied her mother.

I wish the anime looked more the cutscenes. I'm trying to rewatch the anime so I can pinpoint specific moments for future editing purposes, but it's kinda painful.

1- This is the SECOND TIME you've landed on Yusuke while running from trouble.

2- YUSUKE LET GO OF MY GIRL

No Makoto, I don't want to go see Futaba with you! I can go see her myself.

So, I like Takemi's new voice with her lines during this scene.

Sure, she collapses every so often and sleeps for a while. Stays like that for a few days. Sorry that I put her into a coma for a month, Boss...

SHE LOOKS SO CUTE WITHOUT GLASSES

Guys, we have a month. Stop worrying.

THE TWINS ARE SO CUTE WHILE HANGING ONTO THE BENCH PRESS

Damn, Joker's dying to the amusement of two little girls.

I'm kinda disappointed I didn't get results for all that training. But I liked the scene.

Yusuke just casually be lugging bigass paintings around.

Taking the girls to the church may have been one of the funnier moments. These cement them as Joker's little sisters. With Futaba. Damn, Joker, you got no brothers.

Yusuke promises to come by every day and we can tell him to take his clothes off. ATLUS, you have some EXPLAINING to DO.

..And Yusuke took it and ran with it. My sweet summer child, I don't think I could handle you in as little as possible on the day to day.

"The heat induced delirium made me think outside the box." Same.

Guts takes sooooooooooooo long to level up.

"Punish me more" he says, as if Takemi won't do it.

"Good god. Well, none of my medicine can cure THAT." AT LEAST WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE

BATHHOUSE WITH YUSUKE

Awe, he had fun. :)

[demonofpuns]

Some thoughts and ideas on the portrayal of Greek Mythology in Blood of Zeus

So, that show happened. The only good thing I have to say about it is that it’s visually appealing and they’ve cast Claudia Christian. The only reason my sis and I kept watching is because the evil lady was hot and sis wanted to peg Himbo Apollo. (Who, despite his amazing lack of personality, was the only character to remain halfway consistent in it. Also he’s explicitly shown to be bi so he gets bonus points.)

BUT LIKE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Putting this under a cut cause spoilers and shit. 

I do want to talk about the gods and their mythology. Like... first of all, Hera was the bad guy. HERA. TO A POINT WHERE SHE AWOKE THE GIANTS TO KILL ZEUS.

Not to mention that the very concept of evil Hera isn’t one that’s just... too cliche. I mean, Zeus cheats on her and fucking rapes most of the women he wants just because he can with his powers (which was canon even in the show), yet she’s the one who’s bad? HE’S A RAPIST. WHY THE FUCK IS HE EVEN THE GOOD GUY.

She wanted to kill the bastard and his mom and hated all of the kids who were not her own. Sure. I do say she is canon like that in Greek Mythology to a point, but seriously? If you already interpret mythology new to the extent this series did, why not make her a fucking better, three-dimensional character instead of... whatever this show did. (She does get bonus points for hot evil lady, but that isn’t enough to weaken my hatred for what this show did.) She’s the goddess of family, for fuck’s sake. What she did? Nope. A modern interpretation of Hera should not be the one punishing women and children for the wrongdoings of her husband.

Here’s a few ideas that would make her character likeable and put emphasis on her family while still being able to be angry at Zeus:

She being the one to legitimize Zeus’ bastards as gods, to show him that she knew what he’d done.

Her sending peacocks (because her animal birds are peacocks, not FUCKING RAVENS) to the women Zeus planned to rape, to watch his every step. If he went for anything even remotely sexual, he’d get attacked. I imagine it’s not nice to get a beaked cock. (Pun intended.)

Asking Zeus how the mothers of his bastards are regularly. 

Taking care of her family, even those who are not her own children. Her protecting Heron, Electra and Seraphim instead of Zeus. 

Her being allowed to be hurt and mad at Zeus without becoming a murdering crazy woman. (Fucking sexist tropes.)  She can still be a little wary around the new sidestep and the new bastard and annoyed at times, but after so long, she should’ve realized that it’s not their fault her husband is like that.

Just as an idea. Next one up: ARES.

He didn’t have much of a personality in the show except that he liked fighting to some point. That being said, he’s also evil. Somehow. Like. I get Ares was unpopular and dangerous, being he was the god of the bad side of war. But please... more dimensions than one to his character, please. He’s together with Aphrodite, for fuck’s sake. She has to see something in him. Here are some ideas:

Ares protecting his brothers in a fight and telling them to run while he took care of the enemy.

Threatening anyone who wants to get at a family member: “You want to get to them? You gotta get through me first.”

Giving the obviously weaker opponent in a fight strength and speed so it would be more fair. 

Teaching people to use their anger in a fight well. 

Not as much as Hera, but then, he was unimportant in this series. (As much as the other gods, which mostly you even had to guess the names of. The only one I’m sure about is Artemis, because she had a bow, was dressed in silver, and stood next to Apollo.) Next one here: HADES.

So, Hades had 30 seconds of screen time at the end. The big reveal: HE WASN’T NEUTRAL, NOOO, HE WAS EVIL. CAN WE GET. ONE. FUCKING. THING. WHERE. HE. ISN’T. I get him being resentful towards the other gods and Zeus especially because he isn’t wanted on Olympus and has to stick to the underworld and care for the dead. Fine. I get it. But can we get like... him being an okay person?

Allowing a girl to see her killed cat’s soul for one last time to say goodbye.

Playing with Cerberus. In general, Cerberus being a good boy and not a beast that flips when you provoke it.

Loving his wife. There are several stories claiming Persephone went willingly (that being said, those are dubious at best, and if you’re gonna reinterpret mythology, please, please make it less about abduction and rape) - and also, in general. PERSEPHONE. GIVE US MORE OF HER BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE OF THE MOST FEARED AND YET LOVED GODDESSES. THE POTENTIAL.

Him getting regular visits by other gods so he won’t feel abandoned.

Can’t say too much about other gods cause they were non-existent apart from being there and being judgy. The three I did talk about were mostly because I’m fucking sick of always seeing them portrayed as the bad guys. Especially Hera. Some may ask now, if these characters are how I described them, how does the conflict come up? 

Hmmm. Okay. Valid question. (I’ll stick this to the relevant plot points that would have to shift, that I do remember. Not all of the story has to be changed that much.)  Let’s start with Hera being the one to protect Heron and Electra from Zeus instead of the other way around. She found out he was cheating and she was the one to save and hide them. She gives the advice. She tells him who she is, who he is, and why she did what she did. Heron, confused, leaves. Alexia arc can stay the same, mostly. 

Zeus finds Heron. He’s mad at Hera. He gives him the sword (in disguise) so he can fight, still, because he’s his son and destined for something. (Zeus, while he will eventually be bad, is not a one-dimensional evil rapist). Heron finds out who he is. Heron rejects the sword. Fight in the village can stay. Seraphim kills his mom still because Zeus was the one to give out her location because he’s still an asshole and mad at Hera. 

Hera tells Seraphim his story and how she protected him. He’s still mad at her for leaving him in the castle. She thinks he can be saved, and tells him about the sword so he can make his revenge easier, to get that part done, so he might be more open to a family then. Seraphim finds out what Zeus did to his mom and him and his hatred shifts. He finds out about the urn of Giants or whatever. Hera tries to stop him, but she can’t. 

Hera, Apollo, Hermes and Ares train Heron. Zeus tries to make contact but gets a NOPE. Zeus is a spiteful bitch and wants another woman. Cue the beaked cock. The titans rise. Epic battle. Yada Yada. Zeus dies and it feels good. Hera is an epic queen of the gods, but she’s also sad because she still loved her husband.

HADES IS NOT A BAD GUY. 

I know this isn’t perfect or complete, but ffs, I needed to get this said.  Most of this has been prompted in a talk with my best friend @kyliafanfiction​ (thank you for giving me the inspiration to write this out). 

/rant

[otonymous]

We all know all the MLQC guys radiate BDE (big dick energy lmao). Ranked from the otome games you played, top 5 BIGGEST BDE? LOL

First of all, a giant thank you to @lin-ful​! 💖 I know I can always count on you to ask the really important questions in life 🙌🏼🤣This somehow turned out to be a lot longer than I intended, but I guess that’s what happens when the thirst is real LOL.

To start, let’s delve into an exploration of what Big Dick Energy (BDE) actually is.  According to an article in Vox*, BDE is “the self-confidence to know that a colossal endowment isn’t a measurement of one’s value…(it may) stem from having a literal BD, but it’s not dependent upon any sort of genitalia.  And in fact, perhaps the epitome of BDE is the complete security of not needing other people’s benchmarks — wealth, intelligence, beauty, or a BD — to know one’s own worth.  Any suspicion of try hard vibes kills BDE, as does the kind of cockiness that speaks of insecurity: the true BDE-haver is respectful to those around them, but with swagger….”

That being said, here are my top 5 picks for the biggest radiators of BDE, in no particular order (please take this with a grain of salt, seeing as I’m really only playing four otome games at the moment LOL):

n.b. SPOILERS - SO PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

[* “How Big Dick Energy explains modern masculinity” by Alex Abad-Santos and Constance Grady (Jun 27, 2018 @ vox.com)]

OTONYMOUS’ BIG DICK ENERGY LIST 🍆

1. Oda Nobunaga (Ikemen Sengoku)

It doesn’t matter whose route I'm playing, as soon as Nobubu hits the screen, a bitch is weak, and as unscientific as it is, that physical reaction is one of the ways by which I assess BDE.  I mean, just look at this face:

This is the face of one who exudes confidence, a man who finds himself in life-threatening situations and has the gall to laugh because he sees them as opportunities to dispose of yet another obstacle in the way of realizing Tenka Fubu — unification by force of arms.  Call him the “Fool of Owari” all you want, he truly believes he will have the last laugh.

Strong with a sword but stronger in mind, Nobunaga is actually the smartest character in the game, outranking even Mitsuhide imho in being able to keep two steps ahead of everyone else.  That’s why this guy remains cool as a cucumber even when Hideyoshi is losing his shit and everyone is weary of his left-hand man plotting some nefarious scheme.  Nobu is an impeccable judge of character.  He has confidence in his ability to find the diamonds in the rough and this, in turn, earns him the loyalty of others.

Plus, y’all can’t tell me you weren’t biting your lips when he basically worked out the mechanics of wormholes in his head when MC told him she came from the future.

2. Akechi Mitsuhide (Ikemen Sengoku) - *SPOILERS*

This bad boy of Azuchi has BDE for days in that he gives zero fucks about what anyone thinks of him, friend or foe — be it about his intentions or his humble origins, both of which others have tried to use against him.  But the sexiest thing about Mitsuhide is the fact that he isn’t a blind follower.  This man thinks for himself and is loyal to his own ideals, not any given head of a clan, per se.

BDE also abounds in the way he carries himself: this guy is the ultimate Slick Rick in how he can mess you up in the worst of ways without even drawing his sword (or loading his rifle).  This kitsune is adept at verbal runarounds and capable of snuffing out uprisings with humiliation alone.

3. Lucien (MLQC) - *SPOILERS*

Now I know you're gonna think I’m biased here, but I’m being completely real when I tell you that Lucien exudes not just BDE, but GARGANTUAN DICK ENERGY.  I’ve been a hot mess for this man ever since he kabedoned me in his office and whispered “trust your instincts” in my ear.  But don’t take my word for it, just ask Hades.  This man is so desperate to align himself with Ares that one couldn’t help but feel secondhand embarrassment on his behalf during this little exchange:

Lucien is brilliant and he knows it.  Highly intelligent, self-aware and powerful, he likely has faith in his self-sufficiency when it comes to carrying out his plans.  At the same time, he is very subtle about his abilities except when that confidence comes out like the crack of a whip to exert his will on those who would deter him, whether they’re the Black Swan minions sent to capture MC or the mysterious head honcho who injures his eye as punishment:

This comes after Ares has the chutzpah to chastise the man for being hasty.  And he even smiles while being blinded.  Clearly, this is a man for whom the usual fear tactics fail.  The only thing he fears is losing his girl.  And if that isn’t an example of colossal dick energy, I don’t know what is. 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. Luke Foster (Kissed By The Baddest Bidder)

Ok, ok, just hear me out on this one.  The source of Luke Foster’s BDE stems from the fact that he literally doesn’t give a fuck about what people think about him aside from his MC.  Others could call him every name under the sun, poke fun at his unusual ways, and it would just be in one ear and out the other for the good doctor.  There have been several instances where he’s walked away from Eisuke mid-lecture, and he is the only bidder that I know of who can get Eisuke to do his bidding (haha!).  Case in point:

5. Le Comte de Saint-Germaine (Ikemen Vampire)

Am I still stuck on my second route in IkeVamp?  Yes. Do I know much about le Comte as a character?  No. Do I still have an intense need for this beautiful, classy man to radiate that BDE?  HELL YES. So please…please…just let me have this one. 🙏🏻😆

[feitanswife]

Energies that the Hades characters give off based purely on design:

Zagreus- soccer player who is V bi but for a long time he thought he was just really affectionate with his friends

Thanatos- big Skater Energy. Honestly it’s mostly his haircut

Hypnos- theater kid but not an actor. He does backstage stuff.

Charon- the Dugs Guy™️ like not just a guy who sells weed, he’s The Guy. Where does he get this shit? You don’t know! But he has wares if you have coin.

Hermes- the Actual Drugs Guy who no one suspects of supplying Charon’s stock. Also probably also a tennis player or something.

Hades- big “hardass teacher who assigns too much homework and grades really hard but genuinely does care about the students” Energy

Persephone- fun mom who lets you drink in the house while supervised and doesn’t snitch on you if you tell her secrets but also isn’t afraid to call you out on your bullshit

Ares- total asswipe until he has a crush on someone. Wonders why everyone can clock his crushes a mile off but he turns into a fuckin Boy Scout around anyone he likes.

Aphrodite- the friend who gives really good advice about situations she has never once been in.

Dionysus- you know those people you meet and immediately feel comfortable spilling all your deepest secrets and trauma to??? And who are totally used to it and just think all friendships start with sobbing into each other’s arms in a hallway? Yeah. That. (Source: I’m also one of those people and it shocked me to know that that isn’t how everyone makes friends!)

Athena- the girl who complains when other people get into drama but is like always in some drama herself

Artemis- idk I just feel like she’s into weird fad diets for some reason. She’s always talking abt healthy food probably.

Poseidon- alcoholic uncle. Has said the phrase “my son? I don’t have a son!” To his own son

Zeus- the guy who seems like a very straight laced normal guy until you get a few drinks in him and he starts telling stories and turns out he was absolutely WILD as a college kid. (Source: he lightly reminds me of my dad who i think was the main character of one of those fucked up coming of age stories that involve highly questionable things that apparently never affect their lives after the summer they occurred... except it was like every summer... and winter... and continued well into his thirties.)

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

hey guys, fun fact- the greek gods?? gay. all of those fuckers. gay as fuck. you can say whatever you want but you can’t get around it.

like, Apollo????? that bi disaster wasn’t even PRETENDING to be hetro. Artemis??? (aro)ace lesbian rep easy-peasy, she literally had a whole squad dedicated to ‘boys suck let’s hunt’

you wanna try Aphrodite??? that god was GENDERFLUID AND PANSEXUAL AND POLY suckers!!! Dionysus didn’t give a FUCK about gender and he was done to clown with everyone!!!!

Ares??? well he’s a WAR GOD he can’t have any of that ‘make love not war’ shit so guess what!! he ace!! deal with it!!! Athena????? oh you KNOW she was on that ace-aro spectrum, love’s overrated when you can be INDEPENDENT and SMART

Hades and Persephone???? you wanna fucking TRY me bitches that’s a NONBINARY PANSEXUAL AND BI couple right there!!!!! they sure as hell ain’t straight!!!!!!

any other god you can name???? gay. all those fuckers. gay as fuck. the only exception is zeus, a complete hetro, but honestly it’s fucking time we admit he didn’t deserve to be a god, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[alextriestowritestuff]

House of Hades Read with Me Part 2

Hey guys! I’m back with my final thoughts on House of Hades (HoH) by Rick Riordan. My thoughts covering the first half of the book can be found here. My thoughts on Son of Neptune/why I’m re-reading the series is here. My Mark of Athena thoughts are here. If you want to know my general thoughts on HoH and don’t want to read my long winded review of it here it is: It’s AMAZING. This is the best book in the series so far by a landslide imo. Literally if I actually felt more than indifference or dislike for the new HoO characters, I’d say this book was better than any of the PJO books. I was really losing faith in the series before I read HoH to the point where I had wished Rick ended Percy’s story with the Last Olympian. If I were to rate this book, I’d give it a 4.5. I enjoyed the Percabeth, the suspense, and the journey through Tartarus the most. Despite issues with pacing, lack of platonic bonding between the Seven, romantic relationships being stunted for couples such as Piper/Jason and Hazel/Frank, HoH has renewed my faith in the series potentially ending on a good note. 

So let’s get into more specifics down below. I’ll have thoughts, my issues with the book, and spoilers under the cut. 

I’m going to try not to fangirl too much over Percabeth because I’ve done that for all of my read with me’s so far but my heart belongs to them. I loved every reference to their future together. Percy and Annabeth both mentioned possibly having children in the future and I just decided then and there that their relationship is why I have such high standards. This is the blueprint of what I want for my romantic life. Taking applications for suitors now. Actually no, I’m scared of men. Percabeth’s chemistry is out of the world, romantically and in their fighting abilities. I really started to pay attention to how they fight together and as I read, I noticed how they would stand back to back and work together without even saying anything. I’m curious to how they’re going to react now that they’re literally been through hell and back. I’m sensing a PTSD arc. I guess Percy will have a more aggressive reaction (My mans was wildin in Tartarus-also when he said he was going to kill Gaea with his bare hands, I was like umm. sir. Rick better let him have that kill though.) but I can’t quite predict what Annabeth’s reaction will be. Also it wasn’t explained why Percy was acting like a psycho in Tartarus and about to brutally kill Aklyhs but I guess I’m just to assume it was to add suspense and implies he has a dark side. And don’t forget that Percy told Annabeth he loved her back-it wasn’t as poetic as when she said it but he still said love you too. 

Next topic: Bob/Iapetus/Damasen. I like to check goodreads reviews after I finish a book just to see what everyone thought of it and it seems that a lot of people were heartbroken after they (presumably) sacrificed themselves. I don’t have much to say here-I mean, that’s sad and I’m thankful that they did that but I’m not in my feels about it. It was a clever outcome of the ‘foes bear arms to the doors of death’ line from the prophecy. I was wondering if Small Bob had any cool powers the entire time so that was cool when it got all big and helped Bob fight Tartarus (who by the way, scared the shit out of me jesus). 

Nico. Check out my first part to know my thoughts about his whole coming out. I just had a question for you guys here-was he technically outed? And if so, that’s not good. I consider myself an LGBT ally and I try to be aware of when it is and when it’s not okay to reveal someone else’s sexuality. On one hand, I thought it was shitty of Cupid to coerce Nico into it but on the other hand if we (the readers) found out that Nico was gay by just him saying he liked Percy, I would’ve been like there’s nothing in the text to support that statement (because prior to HoH, I thought he hated Percy--blaming him for Bianca’s death--then only helped Percy (River styx, the Labyrinth) because he was an ally to the gods like Nico) so having the scenes in HoH of how Nico started to develop feelings for Percy made so much more sense to me. And those scenes only came up because of Cupid. Idk. Let me know what you guys think.

I found it a little strange how Nico wrote off Percy at the end of the book when Percy thanked him for leading the other demigods to HoH. I get it’s probably a defense mechanism to keep his distance from being even more attracted to Percy but I figured Nico would be a little less cold to him now that he admitted his feelings. I saw a goodsreads review that said there was a confirmed Nico POV in Blood of Olympus so fingers crossed we get that and it’ll explain his curt response to Percy and I’d love a Nico POV if we don’t actually have a Percy/Annabeth POV (according to another review I saw) because I can’t deal with the other HoO characters (except Leo, y’all know that tho).

Next topic: Frank and Hazel. I always give credit where it’s due even if I don’t particularly like or care about a character and these two got the MVPs for this book. Hazel’s fight with Pasiphae-it was so cool. For someone who didn’t get a mentor to help her with the mist and figured it out on her own, she was a straight boss. It was a little off to me how her POV started off the book yet she had the least amount of chapters but had this huge task of controlling the Mist/helping the team get through HoH ahead of her. And then her POV pops up in the end to defeat Pasiphae. This is again, why I say, there’s no need for all 7 to narrate. Hecate could’ve easily come to the ship and say all that stuff in front of the crew and let’s say it had been Frank’s POV. He would notice how Hazel is apprehensive/scared of this task because he knows her well and they could talk about it together so we still know her feelings and that’s one less POV because once again, she barely had any chapters. 

Frank. I stand by my thoughts about the ‘growth spurt’, still think it’s hella problematic. I don’t generally care for him but even I got seduced by him more times than I’m willing to admit. When he commanded that dead army I was like yesss. The blessing of Ares and how he literally was on fire and the fact that he pulled an arrow out of his arm like it was no big deal really did it for me. I feel bad, because he’s just not very well written or else I think I could like him. I want to touch on the ship-- tbh, ship is not a word I’d use to describe this DOA relationship, maybe dinghy--ya this DINGHY ‘ship’ that is Hazel and Frank. Like it’s even drier than Jasper lmao. No chemistry there. They had no scenes alone together. I see that they care for each other and are worried when the other person is in danger but that’s not enough. Worry is normal for any relationship, Percy was worried about Grover when he went missing in Sea of Monsters but they weren’t together romantically. 

And it could just be me refusing to ship a 13 year old with anyone but I just get no vibes from them. Leo and Hazel have more chemistry in their conversations alone. This is a total aside but I’ve been getting salty about how little Percy has had to work with in PJO compared to the HoO characters (And I know Rick wrote PJO first, he didn’t develop all these cool things/weapons like charmspeak or Leo’s belt yet) but although Percy is a great swordsman, he only has his powers like every other demigod. Like Hazel has her child of Pluto powers, the jewel curse that has helped her find gold, and now she can control the mist. And technically she has a horse but so does Percy. Frank’s got his fire stick, shape shifting, Ares’ child powers, archery, and he can command armies. Y’all know the other skills/boosts/weapons the other Seven have (Not including Annabeth) so like Rick really gave Percy (and no offense to Percy but also gave him half the intelligence of the HoO demigods) the bare minimum in PJO and we were all still impressed.

There’s this tik tok sound where someone (I don’t know the original meme or video, if you know please comment or reblog. I’d love to give credit), in disbelief, says ‘Wait a minute, what is this? This isn’t enough’ and someone responds in a sassy tone, ‘Make it enough’. And I feel like for PJO, Percy was like this isn’t enough and Rick said make it enough lmaoo. Percy was struggle bussin’ for no reason in PJO! HoO characters get everything handed to them and they still have the AUDACITY to not have any characterization. Couldn’t be me. 

Next two couples I’ll talk about: Leo and Calypso & Jasper. I wasn’t expecting Calypso to be such a savage, like she was DONE with having heroes wash up on her shores. I missed her so much. While I liked the banter between Leo and Calypso, I felt that it was rushed/forced because it all took place in about four chapters. This wasn’t the best execution and part of why I can’t give the book five stars. I think he’ll come back for her, I don’t know how but out of everyone, Leo has really figured out how to make things work when they’re deemed ‘impossible’. So he’ll find a way. I wonder if he’ll confront Percy about leaving Calypso tho, I’d like to see that. So while he was on Ogygia, the other demigods had moved forward and were in Africa. And I was like WOW y’all really said fuck Leo. There was no search party for him (or mention of it), no tears shed for Leo. Damn. No wonder he feels like the Seventh wheel. I mean we got one or two throwaway lines about them worried about Leo’s whereabouts from Jason and Piper but I mean they weren’t in distress about it. I guessing I’m to assume they asked Nico if Leo was dead off screen and Nico confirmed that he wasn’t so they weren’t too worried about him? Anyway, they’re fake friends for that one. 

That aside, Piper and Jason are *yawn* boring as I’ve said before. But I thought he was going to address Piper’s ‘I love you’ confession last book but I’m not sure if he even heard it. I really thought Reyna was going to come in and shake things up between them but just as soon she came, she left w/ Nico and Hedge to take the statue to Camp Half Blood so missed opportunity for resolution there. Piper and Jason also had NO scenes together so I’m really shocked how Rick expects us to ship couples if they don’t spend any time together. I’m not shocked about how Jason is most likely going back to Camp Half Blood after all this is over. It’s superior to Camp Jupiter so I don’t blame him but it’s an interesting choice. I was actually thinking that Percy might stay at Camp Jupiter because I figured he’d stay as praetor. And since Annabeth’s dad lives in Cali, I was thinking they could stay there but I’m sure they go back to New York after BoO because I saw an excerpt where Apollo asks for Percy’s help and I believe Apollo went to Sally’s apartment. But Percy could’ve been visiting Sally and live in CA normally. Speaking of which, how did Jason just give that position to Frank?? He has to be elected lmao. I mean when I read it, I was like Frank gets handed everything but then I was like well, Percy got the position and he wasn’t even at Camp Jupiter for a week and I didn’t complain about that. At least Frank has been there longer and has shown leadership qualities. But yeah, it’s still a no for me for Piper and Jason. At least Piper’s POV chapters weren’t annoying this book but she only got 4 chapters lmao so no time to be annoying. 

To end this review, I want to touch about why I give this book gets a 4.5 and not a 5. I really feel like the 7 POVs were extremely unnecessary especially because the demigods not in tartarus were mostly together and didn’t have as many side quests as MoA. And some of them didn’t even get more than 4 chapters. I found the magic growth spurt way too problematic to overlook. I still feel like the new HoO characters except for Leo are underdeveloped or unlikeable. The pacing wasn’t the best-Alot of things happened in this book and very little of it could’ve been taken out. The pacing wasn’t slow, it was the right pace until about 60% of the way in and then I was just constantly being hit with attacks and rushed meetings like Leo and Calypso. But I can’t quite fault Rick because I felt every event in this book was necessary for it to be as good as it was so of course, some parts end up rushed. In addition, there’s not much bonding happening between the Seven. Like each trio that had their own book had some bonding in there (Can’t speak for Lost Hero because I haven’t read that in 6 or so years. But tSoN had a little, mostly between Frank and Hazel tho) but collectively, as the seven demigods of the prophecy-they haven’t really hung out and just talked about things that aren’t quests. For example in the Lighting Thief, Percy, Annabeth, and Grover would play hacky sack and he bonded with both of them when they were stuck in the zoo animal enclosure whatever. Grover told him about finding Pan and being worried since he was supposed to guide Thalia back to camp safely and he wasn’t able to. Annabeth told him about her dreams to become an architect in the Sea of Monsters. 

Those moments of platonic bonding and intimacy are what’s missing from this series. Yes, the plot/the quest of the Seven should be front and center but I don’t feel like they’re a team. They’re just co workers at this point lmao. Hell, I think all of them participating in a conversation and just talking and enjoying each other’s company would actually make me like the HoO characters. Not Piper, she’s irredeemable in my eyes. She belongs to streets. Everyone else has a fighting chance tho. Guys, think about it. They have something in common (that’s number one requirement of friendship) they’re all demigods. They’ve all been scared, under pressure and expectations to save the world, and felt abandoned by their parents at one point or the other. Leo and Frank have said in their narrations that they feel inadequate next to powerful demigods like Percy and Jason. Imagine if Frank and Leo spoke to each other about that and were friends. Or started a dialogue about feeling inadequate and the other demigods could share their insecurities. The Seven are able to work together, that’s true but it doesn’t feel like friendship. It seems like each separate trio from the first two books are friends (Annabeth is in between because she’s friends with Jason and them but also Percy’s girlfriend) and they all just call the other trio friends because what else is there? Quest mates? 

And I’m getting a little upset rn because there have been so many instances where we could’ve gotten some platonic friendship. Piper is learning from Hazel how to sword fight (How this girl has survived without learning an actual weapon how is beyond me. Charmspeak didn’t work very well for her in this book), like we had both their POVs. We could’ve had a training/bonding scene from either perspective. Not just some throwaway line about how they got close because they’re the only girls now that Annabeth was in Tartarus. Why couldn’t we have gotten one scene Rick? What was the reason? Tragic.

Platonic love and relationships exist. And it’s more than just complimenting someone when they use their powers. The scene at the end of the book when the Seven, Hedge, Reyna, and Nico are having lunch together on the hill is a whisper in the right direction. How Jason ‘bear hugged’ Percy when he got out of Tartarus is another example. Though this wasn’t platonic and was more familial but Nico basically accepting Hazel as his siser (On a level that is acknowledging her on the same level as Bianca and not just another kid of Hades/Pluto) by kissing her on the cheek. I know you can do it Rick. You’ve done it before. All I want from the last book in this series is platonic love, answers about how Hazel’s curse will be lifted by a descendant of Neptune, Percabeth, and the Gaea/giants defeated. You can have all the POVs your heart desires if you just give me those things. 

See you guys next week with the Blood of Olympus read with me. My writeblr followers must be tired of me lmao, I swear I’ll get back to normally scheduled content after this. I love writing this kind of rants/reviews even though they take me like 2 hours to write.

[choupichoups]

✎ Coup d’État 

“You seen the new kid yet?”

“Gangster pants, black hoodie?”

“Yeah, how much you wanna bet he’s another Ares punk?”

“Ugh, no, as if we need any more of those.” 

“Oooh, maybe Hades? He’s got the style for it.” 

“What, like he just rolled out of the dumpster?”

Or: A PJO au snippet where Eliott, son of Apollo, meets his trash baby panda of a soulmate— until he’s not (a trash panda, that is, he’s still his soulmate)

@salutmonmec

✶

It’s so fucking hot.

“You seen the new kid yet?”

He’s going to burn if he stays a second longer under the sun. 

“Gangster pants, black hoodie?”

Hoodie? Who wears a hoodie in this weather? God, what’s the point of his father being the literal god of the sun if he’s still affected by this hellish heat? His dad’s a real jackass for not giving them immunity. 

“Yeah, how much you wanna bet he’s another Ares punk?”

“Ugh, no, as if we need any more of those.” 

Eliott splashes sadly, the lake water barely reaches his chest even when sitting down so he has to awkwardly hunch over in order to submerge his entire body into cooling off. 

“Oooh, maybe Hades? He’s got the style for it.” 

“What, like he just rolled out of the dumpster?”

A chorus of laughter. Someone snorts like a pig.

“Hey, Eliott, what do you think?”

Eliott looks up, blinking sleepily up at his half brothers. “I dunno.”

“Thank you for your input, enlightening as always.”

He flips them off, sighing as he drops his chin down and makes bubbles into the water. 

“Let’s get out of here before we start looking like raisins.”

“You already look like a raisin, Chad.”

“Fuck off, Hunter, at least my skin has room to breath. You’re one protruding vein away from being a walking block of ham.” 

“Hey!” 

The guys start dragging their dripping bodies out of the lake but Eliott lags behind, unwilling to part with his newfound home. Yes, he thinks he’ll stay here for the rest of the summer. 

“Eliott, come on bro, we don’t wanna miss the bonfire!” Hunter is the last to wade out the water apart from Eliott, turning around with wide, expectant eyes. 

“Right, don’t want them longing for your wonderful voice too much,” Eliott says blandly. 

“Damn right!” Hunter pushes dark blond strands off of his face, bending down to retrieve the clothes he’d discarded by the rocks. Evidently, the guy miscalculates as his back collides with a protruding boulder and it sends him bouncing back into the water like an inflatable mascot.

Eliott laughs so hard he tips over and accidentally dunks his own head underwater. When he resurfaces, everything is a hell of a lot blurrier than it had originally been. 

Great, his contacts got washed away again. Fucking Hunter.  

“Are you two done being morons yet or do you need more time?” Chad calls out from behind a tree, already dressed in his damp shirt and basketball shorts. 

Hunter grumbles all through slotting his legs back into his own shorts, shirt nowhere to be seen. Eliott could have sworn all of them had shirts on before hitting up the lake earlier. 

Begrudgingly, he crawls back on land, figuring he’s already left the medic bay long enough for at least one camper to probably pass out from loss of blood. From a papercut. Demigod children can get quite dramatic in the face of pain. 

He takes his time getting dressed, not minding at all when the voices of his brothers get too far from him to hear. They’re headed a different direction from him anyway and Eliott is very much not ready to leave the breezy comfort under the shade of these trees as of yet. 

There’s a rustling from the nearby bushes, followed by what sounds like the rushed footsteps of about four or five people. Eliott sticks his head out curiously, squinting to aid his vision. 

A group of Ares campers are charging towards a lone figure, led by Nathan, a particularly nasty addition to the Ares cabin. Eliott can’t clearly identify the dark blob they’re targeting from this distance but he’s guessing it’s the new kid. Fits the bill— loose dark clothing despite the heat, face obscured by the low fabric of his hood. 

Eliott moves to approach just as they have the boy surrounded. He looks tiny compared to them and Eliott can’t help it— it’s in his nature to care. He knows it’s nothing too bad, he’s all too familiar with the Ares cabin’s toilet dunking initiation rules. Many brave souls have tried to upend this ritual but to no avail. But maybe if Eliott makes his presence known, they’d let the boy off the hook for the meantime. 

Though before he could take another step, something peculiar happens.

There’s no real explanation for it— the shift in the atmosphere is subtle, but the air seems thicker somehow, smelling of something sweet. So sweet Eliott’s almost tempted to move closer, dive into it and drench himself in its presence. 

And... everything looks pink? What?

He quickly shakes his head, physically flailing his arms around as if to swat the feeling away. When he looks up, the new guy’s back is to Eliott, facing the Ares kids now with his hood down. There’d be nothing too shocking in this picture if it weren’t for the fact that Nathan and his lackeys are completely immobile. Eliott can’t quite make out the exact expression on their faces but from what his blurry vision allows, it’s pretty easy to spot them all slack-jawed, maybe even dazed.

The boy replaces the hood over his head and walks away, untouched. 

What the hell just happened there?

✶

✶

The other campers start gathering around the campfire almost immediately after he gets back to the medic bay, his half siblings being the first ones present, taking turns on the guitar and belting out songs to their hearts’ content. Although Eliott has always been too shy to sing so publicly, he’d normally be out there listening and laughing along with them. 

But he’s honestly feeling so gross right now. It’s probably the worst summer day of this cycle so far— he’d spilled coffee on himself shortly after his little dip in the lake, ruining the fresh shirt he’d put on right off the bat. The stain is a glaring map over the center of his chest and the many, many kids (an atrocious amount, considering there’s been less than an hour between the time at the lake and the campfire) that got sent to the medic bay in danger of a fucking heatstroke didn’t let him forget about its existence. 

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Eliott sighs, wondering if he should even bother to change or at least try to wash out the stain. On one hand, it’s late in the day and they should all be headed to sleep soon anyway while on the other hand, Eliott just wants to feel like a decent human being before hitting up the bonfire. 

The decision is made from him when a commotion starts up, the air ringing with anticipation and a few gasps from the younger kids resonating above the shocked silence from the rest. 

Eliott stumbles out, cold coffee in hand and medic coat thrown haphazardly over his dirty shirt— not that it helps any, as the thing’s unbuttoned and still showing off his spectacular stain. He stands beside Tristan and Hunter, eyes following the human shaped pink glow from across the campfire. 

But the fire rises in tandem with the campers’ heightened excitement, a golden barrier between Eliott and the occurring spectacle. Slowly, he steps to the side, long legs carrying him forward to where he can see clearly. 

And what a dizzying view it is. 

In front of him stands the new kid, except not really. The boy is surrounded by a pale pink light, and gone is the hideous hoodie and baggy pants combo— he’s dressed in a white shirt, soft and loose, showing off more collarbone than the boy is obviously comfortable with, considering how he crosses his arms over his shoulders with an audible squeak. His pants look equally soft, but fitted, dark fabric displaying a pair of legs that a part of Eliott’s brain can’t seem to stop observing. For science purposes. His skin is lightly tanned, looking like the smoothest cut of marble one might ever have the privilege of running a hand over. Eliott admits that he’d go to great lengths to prove that theory right. 

The boy takes a small step back, appearing one breath away from bolting. Eliott feels the stress rolling off of him in waves. 

Eliott must’ve twitched, breathed too loud, done something, because the boy’s eyes, wide and slightly panicked, flicker straight to him, meeting Eliott’s surely idiotic expression with a flutter of unfairly long lashes. Fuck, that pink glow is yet to fade away. He looks like an angel, it’s downright devastating. His hair’s been pushed back from his face, like a hand had brushed through it to make the most beautiful mess. Eliott’s eyes are free to wander, following the sharp cut of cheekbones down to a perfectly angled nose. He reaches dangerous territory at the sight of a pale rose lip bitten and trapped under the boy’s front teeth.

His eyes snap back up and their gazes lock, Eliott’s glasses slipping down his nose a minor occurrence that he pays no attention to. Not when he’s busy immersing himself in those eyes— a glittering pool indescribable. Eliott is a prodigy of the arts, one of the few things Apollo has done right by his children, but he feels the need to create a whole new spectrum of colour to justly describe the hue of this boy’s eyes alone. And isn’t that some food for thought. 

“Wow,” he blurts out, unable to withstand the utter beauty being presented right before him and the consequent poetry his mind is spewing all over the place.

Except he says it a little too loud and now the attention’s all on him. 

He sputters, shocked into movement like an old engine stuttering back to life. Unfortunately, he forgets about the cup of coffee he’s been holding onto so his halted flailing sends more coffee dripping down the front of his shirt, creating a new stain to keep the first one company. 

“Ah!” The cold shock of it sends him stumbling backwards and his own two feet tangle in his rush to save himself from accidentally falling into the fucking campfire. He’s thrown sideways by the force of his misbalance and he goes diving onto the ashy pile of dirt beside the fire, landing in front of his siblings’ gleeful faces. 

“Nice one, Beli.” Chad snickers, large hand coming down to pat at Eliott’s hair.

He doesn’t have the energy to protest the nickname. Instead, he pours out the rest of the coffee from his paper cup and chucks it at Chad’s head. It hits him right on the forehead, Apollo’s godly aim blessing Eliott for once in his life. 

When Eliott looks back over, a pretty flush of red has settled high atop the boy’s cheeks, spreading over his nose in an adorable show of embarrassment. Some of the others let out an infatuated sigh at the sight of it, and Eliott would’ve too, probably, if he didn’t feel like he’s gotten hit by a freight train once and then backed over twice for good measure. 

Jenna, counselor of the Aphrodite cabin, jumps up from her position on the ground and takes the new kid into her arms. “Finally!” she screeches, ruffling his hair roughly. The other Aphrodite girls happily join in to form a big group hug. They look like an overexcited party of unfairly beautiful nymphs. “Welcome home, brother!” 

✶

✶

Much later that night, Eliott ventures back out of the cabin— Hunter and Chad haven’t stopped yakking about the amount of protein intake they need to balance out their carbs while still maintaining an acceptable sugar level and Eliott really isn’t in the mood to join in on the conversation. The temperature’s much cooler now that the sun’s fully gone, enough that he has to change into a long sleeved shirt to keep the chill off of his skin. 

He hasn’t walked very far when he spots a figure curled up atop a tree stump, gazing up at the stars with a hopeless sorrow that tugs immediately at Eliott’s heartstrings. Being an empath is both a blessing and a curse. Over time, Eliott’s learned to temper the part of him that latches onto another’s emotions. He’s tuned it out well enough for him to ignore the impulse most of the time. 

But this boy radiates loneliness like a bird shot and abandoned, helpless yet surrendered to its fate. 

“Hi.”

He tenses at the sound of Eliott’s voice so Eliott makes sure to approach slowly, waiting until the boy is fully turned towards him, watching his every move, before he takes a seat on the neighbouring stump off the new kid’s left side. 

The boy nods but doesn’t say anything before tipping his head back up, eyes on the night sky. 

“It’s a pretty nice spot, huh? We can see the stars clearly from here,” Eliott says, tilting his head until all he can see are the speckles of stars against the black backdrop. “I’m Eliott.” 

From the corner of his eyes, he sees the boy fiddle with the ends of his sweatshirt— seems like he’s found another hoodie to hide under. “Lucas.” 

Eliott turns his head, the speed of which it happens is almost outside of his control. It’s a strange feeling, being affected by the sound of a voice. Lucas breathes out the name soft and lilting and he’s sure Lucas doesn’t mean to do it, but the way he speaks is unerringly attractive.

Oh. Eliott whips his head back up to the sky, not wanting to make Lucas uncomfortable. That must be why he’s so damn quiet all the time. 

They sit in silence for a while, Eliott privately steeling himself for the next sound coming from Lucas, who’s still curled up in his seat, legs folded in half and arms surrounding them tight. 

Under the faint touch of campfire, he glows— a supernova crafted by Aphrodite herself. Eliott isn’t sure whether it’s the effect of the goddess’ blessing at work or if Lucas, unhindered by the weight of prying eyes, simply carries the moonlight under his skin. 

“Do you see your favourite?” He tries again, hoping to get a lengthier response this time. The only way to get used to the allure of Lucas’ voice is to hear it over and over after all. 

“Favourite?” Lucas speaks faster this time, although still a little wary. 

“The constellations.” Eliott points up at the sky above them, tracing Lyra with the point of his finger. “They’re everywhere.” 

Lucas mumbles an answer but Eliott fails to catch it. His listening skill is one Eliott takes pride in but Lucas talks inhumanly low even for someone as attentive as Eliott. Lucas clears his throat when Eliott gives him a blank look. “I don’t know. I don’t have a favourite.”

A whooping two sentences. Eliott feels a sort of warmth come over him at the sound of it but it’s nothing he can’t handle. The thought brings a grin to his face and Eliott soon feels himself relax, humming as they continue to stare upward. 

“Mine is Pegasus.”

“Really?” 

The voluntary response only furthers his giddiness. “Yup, it’s cute.” 

“…cute.” 

“Adorable! See, look.” Eliott hops up and crouches beside Lucas’ tree stump so that they’re viewing the sky from the same angle. “Follow my hand, see it over there?”

“I guess.”

“Don’t guess, it’s right there!”

“Okay.”

“You see now?”

“I guess.”

“Come on, Lucas.” 

Gazing up at Lucas is quite the revelation. Lucas has to look down to where Eliott’s crouched down and from Eliott’s angle, his eyelashes are stupidly long. Or, well, not stupidly— rather beautifully, insanely, captivatingly. The blue in Lucas’ eyes are lit up with mirth and his lips, full and red and pursed, are quirked up in the corners with the smallest hint of a smile. 

At the risk of sounding like a bad romance heroine, Eliott is instantly breathless. 

“Eliott?”

His name coming from that voice quite literally knocks him on his ass. Eliott loses his balance and tumbles backwards, plopping into a seated position over dry grass instead of the careful crouch he’d opted for at the start. 

“Yeah, yes, Pegasus, the cute bastard,” he rambles, barely saving the moment. “The constellation reminds me of a kid tryina draw a horse.” 

Lucas is frowning up at the sky now and Eliott can practically hear the gears in his head turning. “That’s not cute, that’s ugly.” 

“Jesus, you’re gonna make a child cry someday.” 

He sees Lucas duck into the space between his chest and folded arms. Curiosity has Eliott subtly peeking forward and while Lucas’ smile is hidden behind his own arms, the curve of his eyes give him away— Eliott, emitting a surprised laugh at successfully making Lucas smile, wonders what he has to do to uncover that sight. 

“Cassiopeia,” Lucas says only seconds into the next bout of silence. 

“Hm?”

“It’s my favourite.” 

“Oh.” His name is Lucas and he likes Cassiopeia. Eliott thinks that’s a pretty good start. “Cool.”

[enchantedisabella]

Modern Greek Gods

my ig is vivacityandvellichor

Apollo: patron god of memes/vines. absolutely has a meme acc with over a million followers. you think peter parker, a fucking gen z meme legend, isn’t his illegitimate child? that he made just to spite athena with spiders? you are w r o n g

Zeus: the one those Straight White Guys (ew) pray to. often they place maga hats at his altar but even Zeus isn’t that much of a douchebag to support tr*mp and he burns them and strikes those guys with lightning at once. he’s that kind of dad that refuses to vaccinate his kids tho (sigh)

Athena: literally the inventor of just fucking shitposts that mess with your head and are filmed by Apollo saying shit like ‘i have faced God and stepped over Her heaven to get to my throne’. probably runs a shitpost acc and a feminism acc at the same time with wildly different posts, but everyone knows it’s her. there’s even accounts comparing her captions on her different accs bc one will be like ‘big mood gonna go die now bc for some reason i didn’t want the tide pod challenge to die and I DID IT wtf is wrong w me im begging for the sweet release of death’ and the other will be like ‘systematic oppression is only beneficial to straight white males who will continue to oppress poc, women and lgbt+ if they don’t recognise their privilege’

Persephone: kindest person ever. except when you try her, karma’s gonna be a bitch to you. usually she just stays home and plays with her cats, probably spends half her life as a stalker on tumblr or running an aesthetic ig, and the other half baking muffins to throw in the face of her enemies but also to give the best ones to her mom. is definitely taylor swift reincarnated, there’s no doubt.

Demeter: andrea swift reincarnated. that soft friend who will go batshit crazy if something happens to her precious daughter. 100/10 has a very good mother-daughter relationship. hates gossip column blogs but loves it when the tea is served for someone that deserves it. (kanye anyone?)

Aphrodite: works at buzzfeed, no doubt. one of those fashion bloggers with a ridiculously huge influence over celebrities even though all they do is post outfit combinations and promote products, and always has steaming hot tea to serve on every website available. loves dishing out to demeter and gets along surprisingly well with apollo who is also invited to those premieres with her (though for different reasons ofc). runs the most colourful ig acc ever, has an insane amount of followers. wakes up with perfect hair and no one knows how.

Poseidon: youtuber. one of those annoying ones who always say to subscribe to their channel before really doing anything much or saying anything worthwhile? like, why not say it at the end when people actually know what your content is about??? always gets invited to those youtuber conventions but hellaaa problematic. not a total dirtbag, supports feminism and everything, but he just has an overall toxic personality. athena stays tf away. somehow is actually lowkey hot tho and has had flings with every other well known celeb who lives near him.

Hades: HIGHKEY anime stan. pretends to like shit like my chemical romance but actually jams to one direction when alone. video games and pokemon go is their life 24/7, but they still try to hide the fact that they waste their (probably few) remaining days on it even tho everyone already knows. has tried tiktok once and went viral for being hilariously fucking bad. definitely has a meme face. apollo once made a meme out of hades’ face to spite him but it actually also went viral and now hades is known as the ‘pikachu corndog guy ’ around the internet. sometimes ppl ask for selfies on the street and he h a t e s it. will flip them off but can’t swear without sounding like a twelve year old who hasn’t gone through puberty.

Dionysus: is incredibly good at tiktok. once did such a smooth pop and lock with six of his nymphs that it went viral. can shuffle up the stairs like hell was freezing over but he didn’t give a shit. runs those eating asmr accs that’s mainly just him stirring drinking wine super loudly until he passes out (somehow still gets a staggering ton of views), but before that, poseidon makes sure to film all the stupid shit he says to put it on his youtube channel. athena’s sometimes there too and uses his overconfident phrases for her shitposts. needless to say, dionysus is a legend on stan twitter.

Ares: will Fite you. is literally the equivalent of a human trash can. people do put maga hats at his altar and he fucking wears them like the fucking trashbag scum that he is. athena plots different strategies to kill him and has polls for the best ones on her story. Straight White Guy trashhhhhhhhh. nobody likes him. he runs an ig acc with maybe four followers at best, and they’re all just all his other own accs that he uses to anonymously harass athena so she can’t shove his own failures into his face. she always knows it’s him, though. people beat him into pulp on online arguments but he refuses to admit that he’s wrong. gets a kick out of harassing people on the subway. athena refers to him as ‘it’ every time she talks about him because she says that subhuman feces should be referred to by the correct pronouns.

Hephaestus: that one sleazy guy at school who’s best friends with hades but isn’t as bad as asshole ares. knows that ares is morally wrong, but still is kind of ok with him unlike everyone else. wouldn’t go so far as to like him tho. that geeky guy who always gets invited to parties. nobody knows how, but he’s in the ‘popular’ crowd, but often overlooked. some people think that it’s because he does all his hw for them, but actually, hephaestus is that guy who’s sleazy and cheap but really slick and conniving. can get himself into any club. that guy who only uses social media to stalk others, and he follows like 1000+ people but nobody will follow him. kind of a douche but not so much to become revolting. haaaaaates poseidon bc they’re both toxic af and recognise it in each other but not in themselves. that guy who apologises for a racist thing from eight years ago that’s been brought up. actually means the apology but doesn’t have much empathy.

Hera: rules wattpad and i mean rules it. her stories basically win every bad boy x good girl cliché award ever. terrible grammar but somehow has a shit ton of votes and comments. has had a string of shitty boyfriends but only has eyes for zeus, the most problematic guy ever whom she keeps on returning to. she blogs about all her relationship failures mostly because she’s too hooked up on zeus, and all her ten million followers tell her to get some therapy or help but she never does. queen of falling into toxic relationships and honestly athena hates her personally but feels really sorry for her. probably doesn’t understand feminism all that much but still wants equal rights for everyone. doesn’t care if you’re lgbt or a diff race, and i don’t mean accepting i mean she literally does not give a flying fuck. one of those ppl who is ‘fake woke’ bc they actually do have good morals at heart but say things like ‘i don’t see colour’ only for athena to reply scathingly w things like ‘you actually do, you just don’t want to acknowledge your own white privilege by admitting it bc to admit it is to admit that you actually have been born w an upper hand’. def is one of those straight white girls who actually are decent and try their hardest to understand racism but just can’t get it. vents on wattpad yet somehow only gains followers.

Artemis: ah, saved the best for last. arty is a fucking queen, she’s the one who consistently burns tr*mp on twitter and challenges views. probably an actual activist irl who is v well known and promotes herself through ig. is probably best friends with taylor swift and emma watson. probably lowkey has the best singing voice and is actually an artist using music to protest. is mutuals with her feminist acc with athena on instagram. probably best friends w her and they do everything together, run a joint private finsta with a fairly small following of 500 people but post the most aesthetic bff photos.

[babycakes-rps]

Answers to questions from an ask post. The relative word to each god is italicized. Find the ask post in the reblog

——————————

Aphrodite: The fact that I care about people is the thing I love most about myself.

Apollo: Im decent at many things, but I don’t have enough skill in any area to consider it a talent.

Ares: A small thing that makes me angry is when people think that ghosting is a good way to cut contact with people. If you dont wanna talk to someone any more, just fucking tell them that.

Artemis: I’m hunting for a purpose in life. And determination and motivation because I have none.

Athena: My best subject in elementary school was math; after that it was English/writing/reading.

Demeter: I miss the two people who were my best friends in high school. I still like to think of them as my best friends, only because I don’t want to admit that they stopped being good friends to me years ago.

Dionysus: I extremely rarely drink alcohol. I hate the taste. And the smell. The only thing I’ll have is a strawberry daiquiri, and only if I can’t taste the rum in it. I have had exactly two daiquiris that were not virgin. All other alcohol I taste and gag like a 3-year-old eating liver.

Eros: I define my sexuality as bisexual, but it might actually be homosexual biromantic.

Gaia: My favorite place in the world is honestly my couch. Somewhere I’ve wanted to go though is up north to see Aurora Borealis

Hades: I have never had a near-death experience.

Hecate: I think that magic is hard to have an opinion on. If it exists, I’m cool with it.

Helios: I do sunburn easily, but I do not tan easily. I don’t understand how people can lay there and tan. The sun is hot, guys.

Hephaestus: The coolest thing I’ve ever made is a design on a shirt that I did freehand.

Hera: I am the jealous type.

Hermes: I definitely have stolen things.

Hestia: My home away from home is at a dance studio. Or any open area that I can make into my own dance studio.

Hyperion: I prefer sunsets to sunrises because you have to be up early to see sunrises and that’s not my thing.

Hypnos: My most recent dream was about I have no idea. I rarely have coherent dreams. They make no sense.

Iris: My favorite color palette is maybe bright colors?

Kronos: I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything stupid.

Nemesis: A time I helped deliver justice is...it’s not justice per se but it may very well have saved a life when I called the police on my friend when she was in eighth grade and was home alone texting me increasingly suicidal ideas

Nike: My most recent accomplishment is just finishing a craft.

Nyx: My favorite nighttime activity is performing some big number to an audience of my empty living room.

Pan: I honestly don’t do a lot for fun. I write. I like acting. I loge dancing but I’m not good at it. My biggest pass time is definitely television.

Persephone: I don’t have a favorite season. Idk...Pilot Season.

Poseidon: My favorite sea creature is um..I like otters and seals and dolphins and manatees and polar bears and penguins.

Rhea: My favorite type of nature is waterfalls.

Selene: What the..who has a favorite phase of the moon? I don’t know- a waxing crescent?

Tartarus: My personal hell is a place without creativity or expression.

Thanatos: I really, really hate those white people who hate every group of people, ya know? They’re against immigrants and foreigners and women and every imaginable religion or race.

Uranus: My zodiac sign is Capricorn, but I share very few traits with it.

Zeus: I like thunderstorms except for the ones where it sounds like someone is dropping a god-sized bowling ball onto your roof.

[silverlightqueen]

Olympus - Kim Seokjin

Dionysus, God of wine, fruitfulness, parties, festivals, madness, chaos, drunkenness, vegetation, ecstasy and the theatre, and Hestia, Goddess of the hearth, home and chastity

(greekgod!au, Dionysus!Seokjin x Hestia) 

Summary - High up in the clouds of Mount Olympus, the tallest of its kind in the ancient country of Greece, live a community of the most powerful beings to exist on this Earth. Their communities are not unlike those that they watch over, those of the humans. A clear political, economic and social hierarchy exists between the beings, some ruling over the others, some more wealthy than the others, some more powerful than the others. Their lives are much like those of humans, all of them working and living in homes with their families, normal names, normal jobs, normal lives. Some could even be considered ordinary. But those that are considered ordinary… our stories do not focus on those. Our stories focus on those that are positively extraordinary, to say the least. Our stories focus on seven Gods and seven Goddesses, powerful and strong, learning the most basic and human thing to exist; love. 

Word Count: 4.3k+

a/n: so as y’all can probably guess from the summary, this is gonna be a seven part series (each part is gonna be kinda short though) and this is the first part (it’s kinda short and it hasn’t been proofread yet lol yeet). I really hope y’all enjoy this and please give me feedback💕Also this is in no way accurate to Greek mythology and I totally just put together the different gods and goddesses whose personalities I thought would go together lmao😭 

Warnings: none except I wouldn’t read this if you’re a super religious Christian bc they kinda speak ill of Virgin Mary😬

Character List:

Kim Seokjin – Dionysus

Min Yoongi – Hades

Jung Hoseok – Hephaestus

Kim Namjoon – Apollo

Park Jimin – Poseidon

Kim Taehyung – Ares

Jeon Jungkook – Hermes 

‘Dionysus, come on. It’s time to go!’ Apollo says, pulling on the arm of his friend who flirts drunkenly with a group of women at the bar. ‘Not yet, Poll, I’m just making some new friends!’ he says, putting his arms around Apollo, whose face scrunches up in disgust. ‘You reek of wine. Come on, we’ve got work in the morning. Zeus won’t be impressed if you’re late, or drunk,’ Apollo says, tugging his friend out of the bar. ‘Finally,’ Ares huffs, the other five men waiting in a circle around the entrance to the bar. ‘It’s getting embarrassing, Di. We’re gonna have to start leaving you at home next time we go out,’ Hermes says, holding the man up along with Apollo. Dionysus waves them off, standing upright by himself, and Apollo shrugs at Hermes. ‘I live up to my name, that’s all,’ Dionysus says, and the other men shake their heads. ‘I’ve got to go, guys, I’m running late. Got a long way to go, and all that,’ Poseidon says solemnly, and the other Gods nod, bidding him goodbye. ‘I should probably go, too. Can I get a lift, P?’ Hades says as Poseidon mounts his winged horse, his white fur rippled with brilliant blue. ‘Come on,’ Poseidon says with a tilt of his head, and Hades jumps onto the back of his horse. ‘See you in the morning,’ Hades says before the two brothers go flying off into the clouds, disappearing from sight. 

The sky is darkening, navy blue, royal blue, pink, orange and lilac all interwoven amongst each other, stars beginning to sparkle brightly. ‘Nyx did a good job tonight,’ Hermes says, and Hephaestus huffs loudly. ‘Don’t talk about her. Every time I’m getting somewhere with my work, the sky goes so dark and I’m forced to call it a day. It’s like she does it on purpose,’ he sighs, annoyed, and Apollo pats him on the back sympathetically. ‘Maybe she’s just looking out for you, H. She’s a nice girl,’ Apollo says, and Hephaestus just rolls his eyes in annoyance. ‘Can we get going, please? I need to get to bed, I’ve got an early start tomorrow, and I don’t want Athena to beat me to it,’ Ares complains, and the men begin walking in the direction of their houses, all five of which are near to one another. ‘Wait, guys. Where’s Di?’ Hermes asks, the four men stopping in their tracks and looking around for their friend who is no longer stood with them. ‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ Ares mutters. ‘Di! Dionysus!’ Hephaestus shouts. ‘H, shut up!’ Hermes says, clapping a hand over the other’s mouth, ‘it’s late, people are asleep!’ ‘Right, I’m going,’ Ares says, beginning to walk away. ‘Ares,’ Apollo says pleadingly. ‘No, Poll, he’s a fully-grown God, he can look after himself. It’s not like he’s gonna die or anything, he’s immortal. He’ll sober up in a ditch somewhere and worst comes to worst, he’ll miss work tomorrow. It’s not the end of the world, the humans will just have to go without fun for a day,’ Ares rants. ‘He’s right, guys, come on. Let’s just go,’ Hephaestus says, and the four men continue on their way home.

Dionysus, however, is going in the opposite direction to his home. Stumbling down an unlit alley, he calls out for his friends, having seen a cat, followed it, and now got lost. ‘Poll! Ares! P! Hades! Herm! H!’ he shouts, none of them answering. The people that live on that road are beginning to look out of their windows in annoyance, wondering what’s disturbing their sleep. ‘Ares! Hades! Herm! Poll! H! P!’ he shouts again, turning the corner onto a wider road and tripping over onto the floor. A door to his left opens then, warm yellow light spilling out onto the dark gravel of the road. ‘Can you help me? Do you know where my friends are?’ Dionysus calls out to the figure stood in the door way. The figure grows bigger and closer, casting a shadow over Dionysus, before they stop right beside him, bending down to help him up. The mysterious figure leads him into their abode and they shut the door behind them hastily. When the figure turns to look at Dionysus, who’s leaning against the wall tiredly, having sobered slightly due to his panic, he realises it’s a woman.

A woman he’s never seen before, beautiful and unearthly, her hazel hair braided at her crown, the rest spilling out over her shoulders like liquid chocolate, her skin as clean and pure as marble. ‘Pardon my intrusion, madam, but I lost my friends in a drunken state, and I’m not quite sure where it is I am. If you could just give me directions to God’s End, please, and I’ll be on my way,’ he says, their eyes on each other. ‘It can’t be… Dionysus?’ she asks, her voice melodious, the best sound he’d ever heard. ‘Indeed, that is I,’ he says, holding out a hand. She takes it and he presses a gentle kiss to her soft skin. ‘May I ask of your name?’ he says, letting go of her hand, drinking her in. ‘Hestia,’ she replies quietly, and he realises why he’s never seen her before. Hestia’s the Goddess of hearth, home and chastity. A blush colours her cheeks slightly as Dionysus’ eyes bore into her, her thoughts definitely not coinciding with what she should practice. His body, slim and tall, is clad in a tight armour, showing every bend and curve of his subtle muscles, his dark hair spilling out onto his forehead, and his lips, pink and plump, mouth words at her.

‘Pardon?’ she breathes out, realising he’s talking. ‘I asked for directions, your grace,’ he says, and she nearly chokes, shocked at being called your grace by a God, one of the highest rank, no less. Yes, Hestia is powerful, but Dionysus is one of the ancient ones, part of Zeus’ own inner circle. ‘I- to God’s End?’ she asks, and he nods. ‘Come through into here,’ she says, leading him from the foyer into the living room. ‘Come, sit beside the fire. You’re soaked through,’ she says, pulling an armchair up beside the hearth and pushing him into it. It’s only then that Dionysus realises that she’s right, he is soaked through, and it must have been raining outside. ‘Here,’ Hestia says, throwing a warm blanket over him, and he wonders why she’s being so nice, before remembering that it’s in her nature as Goddess of the home. ‘Would you like something to drink or eat?’ she asks. ‘Have you any wine?’ he asks, and she raises a sceptical eyebrow. ‘Forgive me for asking, your grace, but am I right in thinking that a touch too much wine led you into this situation?’ she asks, and he lets out a loud laugh at her shrewd intelligence. ‘So I thought. I’ll bring you some tea,’ she says, disappearing out of the room.

When she returns, Dionysus has completely warmed up, the fire having worked wonders. He suspects some sort of spell from Hephaestus. She pushes the tea into his hands, watching to make sure he drinks it all, and once he’s done, she takes the mug from him in an instant. ‘Thank you for your hospitality, your grace, but I must get going now,’ he says, beginning to rise from his seat. ‘Why don’t you stay? You don’t seem to be in a fit state to travel home now, as God’s End is somewhat of a trek from here, and hospitality and homeliness is part of my duties,’ she offers shyly. ‘Your duties for the humans, not for Olympians. Thank you for your offer, my lady Hestia, but I cannot accept. I would not want to rid of your chaste status,’ Dionysus says, and Hestia’s eyes grow wide, her face reddening rapidly. ‘That came out wrong, that’s not what I meant in the slightest. I meant to say I don’t want to rid of your status with Zeus. If he got wind of me staying the night with you, he’ll get ideas, as everyone does about me and my reputation,’ the God explains himself, and Hestia nods in understanding, her heart rate rocketing. ‘I’m sure Zeus would be angrier to hear I am not fulfilling my duties, which are for humans and Olympians alike, for the two are not so distant from one another,’ she says, and Dionysus hesitates. Hestia notices his hesitation and jumps on it. ‘You’re staying, it’s decided,’ she says. He nods, succumbing to her persuasion, and she leads him upstairs.

She shows him to a room, finds him some clean clothes, and waits outside whilst he changes. ‘Goodnight, Dionysus,’ she says as he climbs into bed. ‘Goodnight, fair lady Hestia,’ he replies, holding a hand out once more. She places hers in his and he presses his lips to her hand again, his chocolate eyes locked on her sky-blue ones. Before he acts on impulse and pulls her down on top of him. She lets out a small shriek as she lands on him, and he brushes a lock of her hair aside. ‘A thousand pardons, my lady, but you’re too fair to resist, and I would not be fulfilling my duty as the God of Ecstasy if I were to resist the temptation to enjoy beautiful things. If you would like me to stop, please say so,’ he says, rolling over so he lays atop of her. ‘Dionysus, I’m the Goddess of Chastity. What example would I be setting?’ she says, an undercurrent of amusement in her shocked tone. ‘Hestia, the humans look up to that Virgin Mary, don’t they? Science proves that virgins that bear children are not exactly virgins. If their beloved Virgin Mary isn’t chaste, why should you be?’ he reasons with her. ‘Virgin Mary is a fictional character based loosely on a young girl from centuries ago. I am very much real, Dionysus,’ she says. ‘Indeed, you are. Real, and beautiful,’ he says, a hand caressing her cheek. ‘Your attempts to seduce me will be fruitless, Dionysus. I am a lady of my word, a lady of celibacy, chastity,’ she says. ‘A chaste lady, a celibate lady, can still grace the lips of another with her own, surely? Will you deny me a kiss?’ he asks, and she hesitates, wanting him just as much as he wants her. ‘I will not deny you a kiss, my lord,’ she says, and instantly, his soft lips brush hers gently. Her hand snakes around his neck, pulling him closer to her, and their kiss quickly converts from gentle to rough in the space of seconds.

That night, Dionysus more than fulfilled her duty, whilst Hestia neglected hers greatly, her chastity broken. The following morning, when she awakens in Dionysus’ room, her body bare, she is greeted by Zeus stood at the window, watching her intently. ‘Hestia, I’m surprised,’ his deep voice rumbles into the room as she sits up, nervous. ‘A thousand apologies, my lord. I have neglected my duties greatly, and for that I ask your forgiveness,’ she says humbly, bowing her head. ‘No, my dear, I am not surprised at your eventual loss of chastity. I’m merely surprised at who it was that took it. I had always predicted it would be one of my brothers, both of whom have broken many chaste ladies’ resolves in their times. I suppose it’s fitting that the God of Chaos was the one to break your strong resolve,’ he says, and she coughs, shocked. ‘But aren’t you angry? I am no longer chaste,’ she says, and he chuckles deeply. ‘There are not many that are, Hestia. I am not angry, not in the slightest. But you do understand that now you must make an honest man of Dionysus. If word were to get out about the two of you, about you breaking your chastity before marriage, there’d be talk and uproar. Marry him, and you will have fulfilled your duties. You’ve stayed chaste for centuries, more than can be said for the rest of us on Olympus,’ he chuckles, and Hestia can’t believe her luck. ‘Thank you, my lord,’ she says, bowing her head once more. ‘Don’t thank me yet. Dionysus must agree to marry you after all,’ he says before disappearing into thin air, leaving her with a sense of dread.

When Hestia turns to look up at her companion, he’s looking up at her sleepily. ‘Am I correct in believing that Zeus was stood in that very spot a moment ago?’ he asks sleepily, and Hestia nods, worriedly. ‘Oh, no, are you in trouble? My deepest apologies, your grace,’ he says, sitting up hastily. ‘I’m not in trouble, he’s not angry in the slightest. But he… he says we must… marry,’ she forces out, and he blinks. ‘Marry? As in have a wedding?’ he asks, and she nods, not teasing him due to being in shock too. ‘Well, do you want to marry me?’ he asks. ‘Not particularly. I barely know you,’ she replies, not worrying about being rude. ‘I’m so glad you said that, because I feel the same,’ he says. ‘So what do we do then?’ she asks. ‘Isn’t it obvious? We get married, we can’t not follow Zeus’ instructions. But then we divorce after a few months. They can’t blame either of us for that, right?’ he suggests, and she nods. And so, a wedding is prepared. Olympus is a flurry of activity, everyone getting ready for the wedding of the God of Chaos and the Goddess of Chastity. Over the following weeks, the two had to act like a couple every time someone is around and become close friends whilst no one is around. They’re like the best of friends together, finishing each other’s sentences. He makes terrible jokes, she rolls her eyes at them, trying not to laugh. He cooks her amazing food and makes her amazing wine, and she empties her plate and glass out of gratitude. Never had a God and Goddess been so close. 

And then the wedding day arrives. ‘It’ll be fine, darling. Don’t worry,’ Athena says, sat cross-legged on the floor in her navy blue dress, matching to the other five bridesmaids, a Hydrangea flower crown askew atop her silver locks. ‘Thena, sit on a chair, you’ll crease your dress. And stop frowning, Tia, you’ll get lines in your foundation,’ Aphrodite says, fussing about. ‘You need to not worry, too, A. You’ll stress Tia out even more,’ Demeter says, watching the activity from the window sill, amused at the chaos. ‘You’re not getting cold feet, are you? Because if you are, I’ll totally sneak you out of this bitch,’ Nem says conspiratorially, and Hestia gives her a weak smile. ‘You can’t call a church ‘this bitch’, Nem,’ Aphrodite groans, fixing a flower crown onto the girl’s fiery red hair. ‘Okay, I know that smile was supposed to reassure us that you don’t have cold feet, Tia, but that totally did the opposite. And made you look like you have diarrhoea,’ Nyx says, brushing through her lilac hair. ‘Nyx! You can’t tell a bride that she looks like she has diarrhoea!’ Hemera exclaims, and Nyx shrugs. ‘Don’t listen to Nyx, you look beautiful, Tia, thanks to me, of course. Di won’t know what’s hit him,’ Aphrodite says, her voice muffled due to her head being buried in the wardrobe, looking for Hestia’s shoes.

‘Tia, can I come in?’ Hermes’ muffled voice comes from the other side of the door, and Hestia looks around to see if anyone’s indecent before answering, ‘Yeah.’ Hermes enters tentatively, looking around like a lost puppy until his eyes meet Hestia’s. ‘You have to walk down the aisle in, like, twenty minutes, so I thought I’d come warn you,’ he says, the knot of nerves in Hestia’s stomach getting a little tighter. ‘Thanks, Herm,’ she replies shakily. ‘Are you nervous? You wanna cancel? Because I’ll totally sneak you out into a different realm,’ Hermes offers, and Nem points at him. ‘Now that is my kinda guy,’ she says, and Hermes gives her a nervous smile, obviously intimidated (who wouldn’t be?). ‘No, Herm, I’m nervous but not enough to cancel. Thank you for letting me know, though,’ she says, and he leaves with a nod and a smile. ‘He’s cute,’ Hemera says shyly, and the girls all start shrieking, Hestia momentarily forgetting her nerves and getting caught up in the gossip. ‘I can hook you two up if you want, at the reception?’ Hestia offers, Hemera’s face reddening, hidden behind her blonde locks. ‘No, I just think he’s cute, that’s all,’ she says quietly, the girls teasing her. ‘Listen, Tia, don’t stress. It’ll all be fine. You and Di love each other, everyone can see it. Just watching the two of you together, it’s obvious. We’ll be right beside you every step of the way, okay?’ Demeter says quietly so none of the others can hear. But she’s wrong. They don’t love each other, it’s all an act. This is like a cruel punishment to show her she should’ve stayed chaste. Di doesn’t love her, and she doesn’t love him. They’re just friends, nothing more. Yes, she still finds him staggeringly attractive, but she’s also hit with the urge to strangle him because of his stupid jokes at least four times a day. He’s like an annoying friend that you don’t really like but keep around anyway. ‘Thanks, Dem, I appreciate it,’ Hestia says sincerely.

The twenty minutes disappears quickly in a flurry of last-minute activity, fixing hair and makeup, pulling on shoes and jewellery, finding bouquets. And then it’s time to go in. Before Hestia even knows it, she’s stood outside the door of the church, her friends all lined up in front of her. ‘My offer still stands, Tia. We can make our escape, go live in the underworld or something. Hades won’t mind,’ Nemesis whispers, stood in front of Hestia, who shakes her head with a feeble laugh. ‘Nem, stop offering to smuggle Tia out of her wedding!’ Aphrodite hisses, and Nemesis pulls a face at the back of her head, the other girls giggling. ‘Hestia, my dear,’ Zeus’ booming voice comes from beside Hestia where he’s just appeared. ‘Zeus,’ Hestia says by way of greeting, all of the girls bowing their heads to him. ‘Would you like me to walk you in?’ Zeus asks, and Hestia nods out of fear of tripping or fainting. The girls begin going in one-by-one, and Zeus asks her under his breath, ‘Do you love him yet?’ ‘No,’ Hestia whispers back, and he chuckles. ‘Does he love you?’ ‘No.’ ‘Oh, Hestia, all those years of living alone, never leaving home for more than an hour, really has made you so blind,’ Zeus says as they reach the doors, their turn to go in.

The bridal march sounds through the church, Hestia and Zeus walking forward down the aisle. Di’s six groomsmen stand in a line, dressed smartly in black tuxes, watching her, and Hestia’s six bridesmaids stand in a line opposite them, looking ethereal in their matching dresses, also watching her. And then Hestia locks eyes with Dionysus, and it’s like a wave hits her. He looks so handsome, dressed in a blue velvet jacket and a pair of black fitted trousers, watching her walk towards him. His chocolate eyes are crinkled due to his plump lips being curled up into a smile, and a tear drips from the inner corner of one eye. How could she not have realised it? Of course she’s in love with him. She has been from the start. She knew who he was when she heard him shouting in the street, only pretended that she didn’t, and had knowingly let the God of chaos into her house, made him stay the night. She’d only fallen more and more in love with him over the past few weeks. But he didn’t love her back. The thought hurt her heart and tears came to her eyes as she reached the altar, stood almost beside him. Zeus presses a kiss to the top of her head before taking a seat, leaving the two of them stood together. ‘You’re so beautiful, Tia. I’m so in love with you,’ he whispers, lifting her veil over her head, his breath taken away at her beauty. ‘You mean it?’ she whispers back. ‘I do,’ he confirms with a nod, and she believes it.

The ceremony goes without a hitch, the two saying their vows with honesty and affection, their friends and family shedding tears at the beautiful ceremony. The reception is chaotic, as one would expect, and everyone enjoys themselves immensely. After hours of dancing, drinking and mingling, just Dionysus, Hestia and their close friends are left. The newly-weds sit in the corner, watching their friends drink and dance, hands clasped and smiles on faces. ‘You’re my wife, Tia. I’m so lucky to have you as my wife,’ Dionysus murmurs against the skin of her hand and Hestia smiles indulgently at him. ‘I’m the lucky one,’ she replies. ‘Did you hear about the two cell phones that got married? The reception was fantastic,’ Dionysus says, his terrible joke followed by his signature windshield wiper laugh. ‘Oh, my God, Di, I take it back, you’re the lucky one,’ she says, and he clamours for her, Hestia batting him away. ‘Can you believe we weren’t in love when we first got engaged? Now look at us,’ Hestia says, Dionysus’ arms around her. ‘I guess our love was destined in the stars,’ he says. ‘I get the feeling Aphrodite had some kind of input,’ Hestia says, and Dionysus laughs. ‘I doubt it. That girl may be the Goddess of love, but she is dense. She complains all the time about not having a boyfriend/husband, but there are men lining up to even get a glimpse of her. She’s the most desired woman around,’ Dionysus says, and Hestia nods in agreement, having heard the rumours herself. ‘We should try and get her with one of your friends,’ Hestia says, and Dionysus laughs. ‘Which one? They’re all insane, save for Poseidon. He’s so serious and solemn, all the time. She’d get bored with him,’ Dionysus says. ‘We’ll see. She’s the Goddess of love, she’ll find someone,’ Hestia says assuredly.

Nemesis appears then, throwing herself into the seat beside the couple. ‘Di, your friends are so cute. Except for Hades, that is,’ she says, injecting venom into the latter half of her speech. ‘Why do you and Hades hate each other so much?’ Dionysus asks, and Hestia rolls her eyes, not wanting to hear this whole long story again. ‘Long story short, he embarrassed her in front of Zeus once and so she dredged up an old embarrassing rumour of his, and now they hate each other,’ Hestia sighs. ‘I was telling Zeus that I haven’t had much work recently, and he said to turn some more K-Pop idols against each other!’ Nemesis says, outraged. ‘Oh, is this about that guy from BTS, and the girl from Twice?’ Dionysus asks. ‘It wasn’t me that turned Jimin and Jeongyeon against each other! I have bigger things to focus on than that!’ she says, annoyed, and Hestia places a hand on her shoulder. ‘What did you dredge up of his?’ Dionysus asks. ‘I brought up Persephone,’ she says, and Dionysus laughs. ‘I didn’t abduct her! She begged to come live with me!’ Hades shouts, having heard the recent end of our conversation. ‘Sure,’ Nemesis says sarcastically, baiting him. ‘Stop with the arguing! It’s Di and Tia’s wedding, it has to be perfect!’ Aphrodite says, drunk on Dionysus’ wine.

Aphrodite drags Nemesis off to the toilet with her, and Hermes soon fills her seat. ‘I should probably get going, Di, I’ve got loads of business in America tomorrow,’ he says sorrowfully. ‘Oh, it’s something to do with the stock exchange, right?’ Hestia asks, and Hermes nods, a sad look on his face. ‘It’s okay, Herm, we understand,’ Dionysus says, and Hermes bids the two goodbye, leaving quietly before the others try to stop him. ‘We should probably shut this down and head back home now, to be fair. It’s late,’ Dionysus says. ‘No! Don’t! We’re all having fun!’ Nyx shouts. ‘There’s only nine of you left,’ Hestia says, doing a quick head count. ‘They’re right, guys, we probably should leave,’ Demeter says, and Apollo nods in agreement, the two sat together beside the dancefloor, probably discussing the something boring like politics or finance. ‘Where’s P?’ Hephaestus asks. ‘Probably gone home, the moody bastard,’ Ares jokes, he and Hades doing shots. ‘Don’t be nasty to him,’ Dionysus says sharply, the God of Chaos having a soft spot for Zeus’ brother. ‘A’s disappeared as well,’ Athena observes, all of them looking around for the Goddess of love. ‘She’s probably gone to see one of her human lovers. You know what she’s like,’ Nyx says, and the boys all gasp, not knowing Aphrodite’s true nature. ‘Nyx! You big mouth!’ Hemera exclaims, outraged on her friend’s behalf. ‘I honestly did not mean to say that out loud,’ Nyx says, her cheeks reddening. ‘If any of you say a single thing about Aphrodite, I will murder every last one of you,’ Nemesis says, wielding a long sword, the boys all holding their hands above their heads. ‘We won’t, we won’t, just please put down the sword,’ Hephaestus says, wincing when she brings the sword near his head. ‘I don’t know why you’re scared, you made the sword, it can’t harm you,’ Ares says with a roll of his eyes, and Hephaestus relaxes.

Eventually, the group begin to troop out of the venue, heading back home, Aphrodite and Poseidon nowhere to be seen. Not once do their friends suspect that they may be together, but that’s a story for another time. Looking back at the day, Hestia is full of contentedness, light and love for her friends and family, and for her husband. All she can think is, ‘Who would’ve thought Chastity and Chaos would be such a perfect match?’

[zoenightstars]

pjo musical: the rundown

so i went to see the lightning thief with @angelicomma yesterday and um. oKAY GUYS GALS AND NONBINARY PALS LEMME TELL U ABOUT THIS MOTHER!FUCKIN! SHOW!!!! because it was SO GOOD this is just like. the short list of what i loved about it because oh my god 

prepare for the longest post ever 

the set was such an aesthetic? it was all very metallic like there was scaffolding and greek columns with graffiti on them? it was very chb and very nyc and overall a Blessing 

every time they needed to show a different location they’d do it with the lights so like there were these lights lining the scaffolding that would change color ?? in the underworld they’d flash red, yellow and orange and were made to look like fire and near the ocean theyd be blue and if they were talking about trees itd be green and! if they wanted u to focus on a certain part of the scaffolding it’d be a different light color than any of the other parts which was rad af

the overhead lights were used really well too like when percy was singing about being the son of poseidon or when there was water the lights would be blue and when they were in the forest theyd be green

there is an entire song about how they hate new jersey and how they refuse to die in the garden state. know this

the show was very low budget like oh my god it was great

they didnt make some of their own props so sally walked in once with a trader joe’s bag and also the most important bag in the world (containing the master bolt) was a fucking jansport 

their representation of water was just to attach toilet paper rolls to leaf blowers and turn the overhead lights blue like what even

they covered the first 4 rows in toilet paper at one point 

also they fuckin deca-casted everyone except for percy (chris mccarrell, the light of my life actually he was so good) 

jonathan raviv played chiron, auntie em, random chb girl in a bike helmet and braids (?), random tractor guy (?), a bus driver, a train conductor, hades, and poseidon and im probably missing someone. he had very distinctive characters for all of them not to mention horse puns 

“the gods are kind of dicks”

medusa’s eyes were just light up swim goggles

sarah beth pfeifer, who probably has the best comic timing ive seen ever, played clarisse, katie gardner, a fucking squirrel?, mrs. dodds, lotus casino girl, random camper assistant to mr. d, and thalia 

*chases annabeth down a flight of stairs with a sword while screaming* 

“for their sixteenth birthdays my friends all got cars. I got a fern and a mason jar!” 

“ARROWS ARE MADE WITH WOOD. I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN AN ACTIVITY THAT CONDONES VIOLENCE AGAINST OUR ARBOR BRETHREN!”

they had the most roles and they were GREAT 

george salazar was such a wonderful grover and mr d oh man 

mr d’s whole gag was he’d kick a chair when he got pissed which was hysterical bc the camper assistant would start pouting every time and he also wanted to turn percy into a dolphin 

“grover, are you ever going to wear pants again?” “NOPE!” 

his solo song was about thalia and how he couldnt save her talk about EMOTIONAL he cried

dam jokes

“we might have more drachmas if you didnt spend them on those DAM SNACKS” “HEY! IT WAS THE HOOVER DAM” 

let me talk about. carrie compere for like multiple hot seconds bc GODDAMN GIRL CAN SANG 

she was such a good sally. can she be my mom. she sang a song abt percy being special and wonderful and i got a lil teary 

“you saved my life, percy. It’s time i learned how to live it.” cryin g 

her silena was really funny? like very whiny but very funny.

 “every time i bring a boy home, my mom’s there in her nightie [...] she steals my mascara and all my dates!” 

she also played sort of charon? underworld guide in this awesome gold dress (she looked SO GOOD) who smacked grover’s goat ass (?????) 

“you know, bringing people to the underworld isn’t my only job. I also have a band. wanna hear a demo?” “not really?” “sorry, i can’t hear you over this SWEET ASS RIFF” 

“We got everyone! we got kurt kobain, we got beethoven. any requests?” “um, do you have josh groban?” “we will.” 

JAMES! HAYDEN ! RODRIGUEZ! was sO GOOD AS LUKE

THERE WAS A GOOD KID REPRISE AND I WAS SHOOKEN 

“being a good kid gets you nowhere at all” bruh 

they couldn’t have a scorpion onstage so luke just. fucking stabs percy in the back??? 

He was also a really funny ares and gabe!! 

ok and my gal KRISTIN STOKES 

fun fact abt me and kristin stokes ..... so we were walking in the same direction after stage door and so me and @angelicomma just walked with her....to the train.... she gave us dessert recs...... and talked about the show (she’s so salty about how rangey her big solo is but trust me she was so good on that song) and also waitress with us.... it was the best experience of all time she is so nice and cool and was wearing jurassic park leggings how rad is she oh my god

her annabeth? was awesome? she was witty and tough and aggressive and i was ABOUT IT 

she called out sexism all the damn time 

“annabeth, i get it. do you know how many schools i’ve been kicked out of?” “yeah, percy, but when boys mess up they get a second chance.” 

“hey, annabeth, who’s your dad?” “he’s a history professor.” “i thought everyone’s dad was-” “a god? that’s my mom. sexist.” 

longest yeah boi ever 

the moment where she betrayed luke at the end??? YES GIRL

chris mccarrell was such a perfect percy i am elated 

“Tartarus? LIKE THE FISH SAUCE???!!!?!?!” 

*swings riptide like a lightsaber while making lightsaber noises* 

*packages medusa’s head* “To Mount Olympus. Signed, Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase.” “the gods will think we’re impertinent!” “*winning smile* we are impertinent.” 

*pouts* “i know how to hold a sword! like this!” annabeth corrects him and he swings it “oh wow actually that’s a lot easier” 

in good kid he was like? running around the stage and climbing the scaffolding and shit? and i cried??? the no mom line was the WORST i wanted to actually scream and his voice is so pretty 

and he was so shook by his own powers oh man 

he was just. so good at the twelve year old thing it was fantastic he was all fidgety and Dramatic (tm) god bless

he loves sally so much!!! all the demigods were salty af abt their parents and he was just quietly singing like “my mom loves hugs and scary movies” and i just. screamed quietly

there were rlly cute percabeth moments too. 

 percy’s knocked tf out the first time annabeth meets him (she infiltrates his dream a lil) and he sings a lil song abt how she’s beautiful and stuff and he wakes up and she’s all “YOU DROOL IN YOUR SLEEP” shook 

she shows up at capture the flag (percy hasnt officially met her yet) and he points at her and was just “gasps YOURE MY DREAM GIRL!” and annabeth side-eyes him hardcore and he goes “UM. THE GIRL. FROM MY DREAM.” 

“the god is my mom. sexist.” “NO NO I LOVE GIRLS!” annabeth is shook yet again and percy panics and is like “I MEAN UM THEYRE VERY NICE” 

percy gets serious side eye from luke

it’s great  

when percy gets stabbed they almost kiss and then grover RUNS ONSTAGE “HEY! here’s your ambrosia percy” goddamn it was DRAMATIC

im definitely missing shit but oh boy it was so so good

i’d kill a man for that soundtrack  

if you have the chance (and the money) it’s just. such an Experience and everything i could have ever dreamed of. the cast is great (and theyre all so freakin NICE s/o to kristin especially). 

i’d highly recommend it!!! A+ 1000/10

[pldubrahs]

anyway, this has been a While coming and now im back in new orleans so LOTS OF GUSHING ABOUT THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL, UNDER THE CUT

the ambiance of the theater, dim and filled with soft storm sounds

this show does really beautiful things with overlapping singing and w harmonys and its So low budget but still so good and the cast is small but amazing and literally everyone but chris is cast into several roles and its just amazing

if u dont wanna read this whole thing, just scroll down to the end for a Special Surprise

ACT 1

the Bitter, Angry, Sad music, ltm is truly the Emo Rock Musical we deserve

i seriously almost fell out of my chair when chris mccarrell came out. he honest to god was SUCH a good percy, so fidgety and all his expressions were ON POINT

“CHROOONOOOOOOOS”

ms dodds in General she was hilarious for the literal 3 minutes she was onstage

the pen to sword transformation is literally just: chris hides the pen and grabs the sword from somewhere else onstage. during my show, in the ms dodds fight scene, the sword was on the back of chirons wheelchair and it got stuck so he had to trip after the chair as chiron wheeled off and TUG it off to fight

DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVED CHRIS MCCARRELL AND HOW AMAZING HIS VOICE WAS? BECAUSE I DO AND IT W A S

sally is a BLACK WOMAN 

just in general, this show was Amazing at raceblind casting

sally sprayed febreeze after smelly gabe, like he leaned to look in the fridge and she stood behind him spraying febreeze directly at him for like 30 seconds

“he was handsome and strong and before too long- you came!” percy was roasting marshmallows and looking out towards the audience and sally was rubbing up and down the sides of her body during this before “you came!” and it was v funny

Strong in general was Great bc WOW IM LOVE THE “NORMALCY IS A SOCIALLY CONSTRUCTED MYTH” MESSAGE

grover and percy meeting outside camp

“oh look a goat” “percy!”

“he met a furie” “youre all furry! what happened to your legs”

the v cute friendship bickering, overlapping voices thing that percy and grover v often did. this was the grover and percy friendship that we always needed

during the weird dream when he sees annabeth and hes like “gee whiz shes the most beautiful girl ive ever seen”

and then when he officially meets her after hes not out of it, he says “youre my dream girl!” and then backpedals and its great

ANOTHER TERRIBLE DAY. DEFFS ONE OF THE TOP FIVE SONGS. MR D IN GENERAL WAS JUST AMAZING, GEORGE SALAZAR ROCKED IT

he kicked the chair over so much and then there was a part after his camp halfblood intern thing left so his chair didnt get reset behind him and so he kicked into the air, got frustrated, and put the chair up himself

“of course, who am i to give relationship advice, im literally the god of alcohol”

“you can hate it here, but i HATED IT FIRST”

so so so many Soft sex jokes and bc im a Child i loved them 

chiron is just a guy galloping with a horse tail its the cutest thing and everyone laughed bc like imagine a kid galloping w their legs high and w/e, but on an adult and slow motion

“you’ll get used to mr d. he can be a bit... well, he hates children”

luke was Very attractive and ALSO he had a lot of chemistry w percy and w annabeth and i, who remembered shipping percy and luke back in my Youth, was Living

annabeth deffs had a crush on luke dont @ me

also luke was Softly bitter. like he sounded like a modern kid, bitter and upset but saying it in a joking way; totally makes sense that no one suspects that he’d do anything w chronos bc all the kids are upset and he doesnt get dark until the very end of the show

“are you ever going to wear pants again?” “Nope!”

luke: “havent you ever played capture the flag?” percy, excitedly: “not with swords!” *makes swooshy lightsaber noises* annabeth, suffering, full of regret: “It’s not a lightsaber.”

“sexist much?” “no, i love girls” [muffled luke and grover cackling in the background]

CLARISSE, LOVE OF MY LIFE! her song was so so good

im sure everyone has mentioned this but the LEAF BLOWERS BLOWING TOILET PAPER TO REPRESENT WATER LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE

the campfire song

percys Soft concern for annabeths story about running away “wait is that true”

grover starting to cry during his part

“my father is chronos.... remember my lecture, he ate his children””....... chiron wins”

APHRODITE'S DAUGHTER’S STORY “godess of love, my moms aphrodite... i bring home a boy and shes there in her nightie! oh nooooo” “she steals my mascara and all of my dates!” wonderful

percy sings nicely about his mother and everyones like “hes doing it wrong”

“we dont care where our parents may be, as long as you are here with me!” FRIENDSHIP MAKES ME EMO

“havent you noticed that there arent any other little sea godlings running around? any sons of hades or daughters of zeus? the big three gods arent supposed to have kids!” i loved this tiny easter egg i love my big three kids

“look at the boy, hes clearly not a thief!” “oh, yeah no yeah yeah yeah no no yeah yeah no yeah no, youre right! you cant fake being that stupid unless youre a brilliant actor, but im also the god of drama, so i can tell you HES NOT”

“his lightning?” “yeah, we're not talking some crummy tin foil zig zag from some off broadway play!”

GOOD KID IS EVEN BETTER LIVE THAN IT WAS ON THE RECORDING IT RUINED MY LIFE

Killer Quest! is an amazing end of act song and v upbeat and cute

“so where is the underworld actually” “look for doa records” “its a record company? actually, im not surprised”

ACT 2

WE’RE LOST IN THE WOODS SOMEWHERE IN NEW JERSEY AND WE’RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT TO LA

“half bloods to monsters smell like mickey ds, like tacos or take out vietnamese”

“dude are you talking to the squirrel?” “satyr powers, be nice. this squirrel knows every corner of the woods, maybe he can help us” “really? because i think that seems kind of nuts” [silence] “you hurt his feelings. tell the squirrel youre sorry.”

medusa in general, what a Good scene

ensemble members shaking maracas to make snake noises for her

medusa cant say “nemesis”

“ive done everything to prove to the gods that im the best and you- i mean, you dont even know how to hold a sword” “yes i do!, yes... i do...” “no, hands here *adjusts percys grip*” “i didnt ask for any of this: gods, monsters, quests- oh, wow, that is a lot easier”

my grand plan is the most annabeth chase song ever and i love it its such a good look into her character and i love her so much

“when boys mess up they always get another chance”

“cause most girl never win if theyre polite”

THE COMMENTARY ON HOW WOMEN HAVE TO BE IN TODAYS SOCIETY IN ORDER TO BE TAKE SERIOUSLY HELL YEAH

“the gods will think we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent”

the squirrel gave them three amtrak tickets

DRIVE IS A COUNTRY SONG AND I FUCKING LOVE IT IM HONESTLY SHOOK

i hate country except for this One Song

ITS ONE FOOT FORWARD AT A TIME; DUST OFF ALL THAT GRIT AND GRIME; WE STILL GOT A LOT LEFT TO DOOOO, CAUSE PEOPLE ARE COUNTIN ON US AND IM COUNTIN ON YOU! DRIIIIIIIIVE JUST DRIIIIiiiiiiiiIIIIIIVE STAY AHEAD STAY AHEAD STAY ALIIIIIIIVE

“is that chihuahua?” “its a chimera!”

“maybe if you hadnt brought all those dam snacks” “uh it was the hoover dam and i was hungry!”

ares drives them to las vegas and when they get there he says “this is where i... get off” and its HILARIOUS i love lowkey sex jokes

gentle easter egg to bianca and nico re: may 1st 1939

“the oracle can can it ill save my mom and savE THE PLANET!” im love percy so much

tREE ON THE HILL IS ABOUT THALIA AND IT MADE ME CRY GOD WHAT A GOOD SONG and grover feels like a failure and annabeth is like “no u saved my life ur a good friend and a good guardian <3 friendship”

THE FERRYMAN TO THE UNDERWORLD FLIRTS WITH GROVER

“you wanna hear my demo?” “uh-” [loud music plays] “im sorry i couldnt hear you over this SWEET ASS RIFF”

YOURE IN THE D.O.A. AND YOURE HERE TO STAY YEAH YOURE STUCK FOREVER NEVER GET AWAY NO HOPE FOR SURVIVAL YOURE DEAD ON ARRIVAL

“oh! do you have any josh groban?” “we will.” I CACKLED

DJ CEBERUS W A COOL 3-HEADED DEADMAU5 ESQUE MASK

the ferryman also attacks them all like “youre not gonna save the planet, you wont protect your friends, you wont be remembered”

everyone says this but “i think this pit is tartarus” “LIKE THE FISH SAUCE?”

“why would chronus want my shoes?” “they were really cool shoes”

bitter, sad hades who just wants people to stop thinking that hes the bad guy and for his brothers to come visit him

“one does not simply walk out of the underworld”

W H A T  B E L O N G S  T O  T H E  S E A  C A N  A L W A Y S  R E T U R N

small reprise of good kid as he considers hades offer and then the melody cHANGES and percy realizes that the seashell, a gift from a god, can SAVE THEM and its beautiful because SON OF POSEIDON IS A GOOD SONG

“maybe my dad was a screwup too, his best laid plans always falling through... maybe he never knew how to care but hey, thats life, and life aint fair... but i think my dad mayve thrown me a line, and better late than never, ill finally get a sign!”

its a good song kids

the kids get to the oceans and they FIGHT ARES and ares and percy are both singing, percy singing The Son Of Poseidon chorus and ares singing Put You In Your Place and its b e a u t i f u l

THE TOILET PAPER THROW- basically they bring in like 6 leafblowers w toilet paper rolls attached and the first five rows get covered in toilet paper. as someone who was in the fifth row, it was amazing

poseidon comes in, they have a Heart To Heart, he brings sally back to life, he flirts with sally, its hilarious and awkward

“the gods are unfair but we’re not total dicks”

percys like “you dont have to stay w gabe anymore” and sallys like “smh boy u cant solve all my problems. you saved my life, now i have to figure out how to live it”

he gives her medusas head

“what is this” “its a... do it yourself scupture kit” “oh! *begins to open it*” “no no no its, um, medusas head”

“well, as my official protector, you can officially escort us back to camp” “and youre conscience this time!”

chiron is also cast as poseidon so like he runs into the camp scene after a quick change and says “i hoofed it here as quick as i could!” 

last day of summer happens and w/e its cute but whAT REALLY MATTERS IS LUKES BETRAYAL: okay so the music slows and goes into the minor key and percys like “we still dont know whos working w chronos :/” lukes like “yeah it sucks” and he starts singing about how he doesnt trust the gods and how the gods hate them and how they need to take over the world and put the gods in their place--he and percy do their handshake fist-to-the-chest thing and luke is serious and percy does it but hes v confused and it Hurts. this is the first time in the show that luke sounds just Bitter and Angry instead of jokingly deprecating and its quite the effect

THE DARK GOOD KID REPRISE 

“ill do anything, i dont care if i hurt anyone, it doesnt pay to be a good kid, a good kid, a good son" GOD IT HURTS luke has so much pain and i feel so bad for him like yeah hes evil but,,, hes had a hard life

annabeth comes in and DISARMS LUKE but PSYCH luke has a small switchblade and STABS PERCY IN THE BACK (bc they cant use scorpions onstage)

percybeth moment interrupted by clarisse’s loud coughing and grover

percys like “we cant just sit here and wait for our parents to fix things.”

“the gods will say we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent” goddamn that symmetry

“are we ever gonna once have it easy?” my poor poor kids

percy- “feeling ready” annabeth- “feeling stoked” grover- “feeling queasy”

THE SEA DOESNT LIKE TO BE RESTRAINED

bring on the monsters is just a Good song

also hey if you got to the end of this, congrats! i have a ltm audio and either in a message or in an off-anon ask and ill hook u up

[raynalex]

This is all about percy jackson, one of our beloved demigods

1. Percy’s Dark Side Everybody in PJO Fandom wondering, think, and say (or whatever, just like that, okay?) that he’s have dark side.

but for me, he did, and he knew it when he knew that he’s a demigod, a so of poseidon

It’s start when he killed the Minotaur. Every night, both in his cabin or Hermes cabin, he thinks why he killed the monster, beside to rescue his mother—and himself and all demigod stuffs why they’re killed monsters. His dark side get stronger when he grow up. (Like, okay, I haven’t read the first and second books, but I know it. He beat the God of War, Ares, when he’s fucking 12 years old. His dark side start get stronger at that time). He knew it and he keep it in secret. That’s why he act like jerk, annoying. That’s why he became sassy. Because he didn’t want to his dark side control him.

And first time his dark side awakened when he’s in Underworld (TLO)

His dark side fully awaken after he’s bathing in the Styx and killed all the Hades’s troops. He killed all of it, and somehow he also enjoy it. And he finally beat Hades.

Okay, from that, we knew his dark side is awakened. After that, Percy get stronger, both his normal and dark side. He killed, with help form his hurricane and satyrs, Hyperion. He killed the minotaur, again.

Also, like Eren Jaeger, Percy also very easy to get angry when his friend killed or hurt, especially Annabeth. He can kill anyone or anything who hurt his gf.

In the next series, after he woke up form 8 months sleep, he enter the roman camp. 

Son of Neptune: his dark side are stronger than before. Like in the War Game, Frank said that Percy fight like a demon. And when he fight Polybotes too

Mark of Athena: Leo knew somehow Percy’s dark side when Percy stare at him after he blew up the city. Also when he possessed by those freaking ghost and fight Jason. Piper somehow knew that our beloved Poseidon’s son have a dark side.

House of Hades: THIS BOOK! THIS BOOK SHOW US HOW DANGEROUS IS PERCY WHEN HIS DARK SIDE ALREADY CONTROL HIM!! YOU GUYS REMEMBER HOW PERCY WANT MISERY ‘DIED’ BC HER POISON AND HOW PERCY TOOK CONTROL OF ALL THE POISON AND ALSO HOW ANNABETH SCARED OF IT AND HOW SHE MAKE PERCY STOP!! (thanks to Tartarus bc of it, and their ptsd)

Blood of Olympus: Piper knew that Percy have dark side, after Annabeth ofc. It’s began when Percy accidentally blew up the ship’s toliet bc she’s telling her vision. When Piper think about Jason’s wound, she also started to think, what happen when if percy want to being fierce? ofc she start to think it after she saw Annabeth daydreaming, thinking about percy and their ‘trip’ to fucking Underworld.

So guys, if all of us is demigod and we enter the Camp Half-Blood or Camp Jupiter, remember this: DON’T EVER MAKE PERCY ANGRY OR WE’RE DEAD, i mean dead like omg-he’s-gonna-kill-us.

2. Percy is the most powerful and most feared demigod, both in Camp Jupiter, Camp Half-Blood, and/or Olympus (and World) I’ve read all the Percy’s ability in Riordan Wikia, and he has the highest strength from all the idk 400 campers (from CHB and CJ) and unknown demigod. He has hydrokinesis, atmokinesis, geokinesis, and toxiokinesis. His superhuman agibility, durabilty, and strenght also the strongest of all the demigods. Maybe bc he’s the son of the oldest of Big Three, Poseidon, idk. Don’t forget about his swordsmanship and fighting skills. He also bore the Curse of Achilles, make him stronger. (I’m not talking about his ADHD or his empathy link or maybe he ever being a host for nekhbeth.) Somehow, he able to control it and don’t die. Let’s talking about his demigod abilities :)

Hydrokinesis: his main ability. This ability included: hydrogenesis (he can create the water), underwater breathing, general hydrokinesis, water immunity and solidification, sailing skills, and communication.

Atmokinesis it make him to control the weather, but it’s limited and not as strong as Zeus/Jupiter’s kid. This ability include the electrokinesis’ it’s mean he also can control and manipulate thunder and aerokinesis’ he also can control and manipulate the wind..

Geokinesis: it’s make him to control the earth, i mean not Gaea. With this ability, Percy can generate an earthquake or blow up a volcano. His control for this geokinesis ability is not strong as Hades/Pluto’s kids.But I believe when he finally get control of it, maybe he’s stronger that Hades/Pluto’s kid

Cryokinesis: percy can control the ice and snow or icy water aroung him, and make an icy hurricane. He also can manipulate the snow and ice with this ability. You can see Percy use this ability when he fight with Thalia (Titan Curse) and the roman gemigods (Son of Neptune)

 Heat Resistance: he’s fire resistant, bc of his father oceanic nature (like the cyclops) but it’s only for a few minutes. He still can feel the heat when he has longer contact with it, like lava.

Toxiokinesis: with this ability, Percy can control and manipulate the poison. It’s still a mystery why Percy can control it (just when he’s angry), maybe because poison is part of water.

Percy also have so many magical items. Let’s not talk about that. So, I mean, that’s why all the campers and the gods really respect him, except that Roman Bastard Octavian ofc. And, only Annabeth, his Mom, and maybe his father can control him. And that’s why all his enemies feared him and want Percy died. Percy is Monster Killing Machine.

That’s all I want to talked about my fav PJO chara. If you guys have opinio about it, just rebblog it and said it :)

note: sorry for my bad english, im indonesian and lilbit fluent in english (speak) but nor for the writing thingies:(