#except the irony fashionistas

[batwynn]

When did Papa (noun) constitution fuckers take over the ads on here? 😂

[anime-deity]

Random Headcanons for Drarry (which I'm going to include into my fanfiction)

Harry Potter

growing up at the Dursleys - disgusting muggles;

Abuse/Neglect/and all those good things...

at the age of 6, teleports in front of WolfStar; gets adopted, receiving a new name - Hades Perseus Black (the irony of him being called after Medusa's beheader) and being sorted in Slytherin, cuz he belooooong;

also he the Slytherin Princess cuz I say so

Draco Malfoy

Harry's boy- I mean best friend;

crushing on him since they met (god so cheesy) - his father will definitely hear about this;

smart boi who likes books and potions;

Slytherin's Prince

Fred & George Weasley

cuz we love the twins;

are also in Slytherin;

cunning & ambitious pranksters;

worthy Weasleys;

secretive and always together... very sus...

Hermione Granger

also goes to Slytherin;

Family Secrets are revealed;

very devious and Pansy Parkinson is there as well soooo you already know where I'm getting at

One of the Mother Hens of the group

Pansy Parkinson

knows all the gossip in the wizarding world

most likely knows your secrets too

Hermione's best friend and possible girlfriend

Fashionista and the other Mother Hen of the group

Theo Nott & Blaise Zabini

being the gay couple they are and we support;

don't call Theo 'Theodore' if you don't wanna wake up with nasty hexes;

Blaise is the cool and laid-back one compared to his partner

Cedric Diggory

lives cuz he deserves to and is the same age as the twins;

surprisingly gets resorted into Slytherin;

likes Luna a lot

the Twins' Best Friend and secret partner in crime

Luna Lovegood

we love and so does Cedric; shhh don't tell anyone, but Luna probs knows about it already...;

same age as Harry and the rest

her destiny leads her to be part of Slytherin~

Sirius & Remus Black

also known as Siri & Remy (or Moony);

best parents award;

teaching together and supporting Slytherin against Gryffindor;

everybody knew that they should have been in Slytherin but nobody could prove it

Severus Snape

called Sevy or Sev behind his back;

Regulus is his Soulmate - forget Lily;

being done with everyone, but has a soft heart for his snakes and supports Drarry;

WolfStar's Bestie~

Regulus Black

Reggie!!

lives and loves Severus Snape;

enough said..................

teaches History of Magic at Hogwarts;

enjoys playing pranks with Sirius, and the Weasley Twins

Lucius & Narcissa Malfoy

lovingly called Luc (Lucy - by Siri, Remy, Sevy & Reggie) & Cissa;

awesome parents

fighting the Potters

Voldy Moldy, I mean 'Tom' Marvolo Riddle

NOT the bad guy here (duh)

doesn't look like a snake hybrid whatever that was;

resembles his younger hot self;

don't call him Tom or Tommy - he will try to skin you alive and then torture you;

may have a thing for Bellatrix

Bellatrix Black (hopefully a Riddle soon)

the best Aunt even if she is a bit crazy.....

okay maybe a lot of crazy...

she's still crushing on Marvolo, which ain't a secret

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

head chicken of the flaming chickens

Chief Asshole of Wizengamot

Master fucking Manipulator

Daisy Potter

Harry's younger twinsister

supposed "Girl Who Lived"

nicknamed Lazy Daisy & Crazy Daisy

a fucking bitch, who has a crush on the very Slytherin and very gay Draco Malfoy

Lily & James Potter

the worst parents

suck badly and so do the rest of the Weasleys (of course with the exception of the twins, Charlie & Bill - tho the latter two don't really appear in my fanfic)

Molly & Arthur Weasley

can't tell their twins apart and disregard them

simply bad parents

it's all about the money

Percy Weasley

turns into an asshole after Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint got together;

actually fought Marcus, but sucks for him cuz Marcus became even more handsome

Ron Weasley

the worst friend one could have

likes fame and money

very jealous

major bully

Ginny Weasley

too obsessed with gay Harry, who rejects anything and everything the girl gives him

screeching voice

ridiculous personality

[thebluesunflower44]

I was going to ask you about WRITE ME and then I saw kkkg with sokkla and ddlj zk, so I need to hear about all three 👀

sam. thank you tons for the ask <3 but also please go to sleep 😭😭

bahaha the lovely irony of you asking me about WRITE ME. that’s actually me tiptoeing into the realm of socmed fics and ofc it was inspired by if my wishes came true!! it’s actually not totally a modern AU - it’s more like if the gaang, in their time period post-war, had phones and stuff. how would they stay in touch? what would their love letters/texts to each other look like when they were separated by seas but connected by cellphone towers? idk i keep trying to write it but getting rly intimidated, hence the title!

kkkg with sokkla - LOLOL kabhi khushi kabhi gham with rahul = zuko, anjali = katara, poo = sokka (sorry this concept with him being a fashionista at school and suki and yue hovering around him...cannot breathe help), and rohan = azula. it is SO MUCH fun to write, i adore this one. and i know Yash got a happy ending, but in my story, Ursa kicks Ozai’s sorry ass out of the house!

ddlj zk - dilwale dulhania le jayenge but with zutara🥺🥺 my comfort movie and I just had to rewrite it for my comfort couple. except! except! IT HAS BLUTARA! yes that’s right, the blue spirit pulls katara onto the train. so adorable. idk when i’ll finish this one but it better be sometime this summer because i am so excited!

ask me about my WIPs!

[hirookouji]

nohebi headcanons!!!

they have this team tradition where the upperclassmen to take the first years to visit the meiji-jingu shrine at the beginning of the year, where they write down their wishes and hang them up on the ema board

daishou dyed his hair green in his second year and the volleyball team all laughed and poked fun but as soon as somebody else said anything mean, they were all ready to Fight™

sakishima actually joked that daishou dyed his hair to match with the team uniform

in reality daishou saw the actor of his favorite tv show dye his hair green, so he wanted to do the same

daishou insists on giving everybody on the team ‘cute’ nicknames

BUT he hates when people give him nicknames, and so he just tells everybody to call him suguru or daishou, and nothinf else

sakijimas rlly inescure abt his freckles and wants them gone but everybody in nohebi is just like ‘????? u dont have enough freckles.... u need MORE freckles’

sakijima always emphasizes that his name is pronounce sakishima, and gets pissed off when its pronounced otherwise

sakijimas for sure a social media stalker and has a lot of blackmail on the third years because of it

takachiho may look innocent but hes actually one of the biggest shits on the team, which works so well for their strategy on the court

takachiho has this kinda nervous tic or tell where he’ll run his hands through his hair and ???? its pretty hot

takachihos always pushing for team bonding activities or like team outings bc he genuinely loves nohebi and wants them to be a close knit team that can work well together on and off of court. and they’re like the brothers that he never got to have!

hiroo and sakijima went to the same junior high and have a really close bond that often comes off as ‘i fucking hate this bitch so much’

hiroo gets confessions from girls a lot but because he is big gay he always declines them

hiroos one of the biggest volleyball nerds on the team and sometimes he writes a bunch of possible rotations and plays in his notebook during school instead of actual schoolwork and thats why his grades r so low

all of the first years are scared of numai at first because he looks so angry and scary all the time but they realize pretty soon that all the other third years are way more loud and obnoxious and annoying than him (but like in a good way)

numai’s probably the most aggressive and confrontational on the team when he reaaally wants to be

throwback to that one time when second yesr numai beat up some guy who was shit talking nohebi and had to talk to a teacher one on one about it

the only one who can get him (and any other nohebi player thats too riled up) to calm down is akama

akama is like 80% of the third years favorite kouhai, except nobody is willing to admit it and akama never says which third year he likes the best

whenever their team practices serves he always receives but he always clowns the ppl who serves poorly bc hes a little shit

seguro rlly thinks hiroo is the best third year ever and everybody else knows that thats complete and utter bullshit but that doesnt stop seguro from looking up and admiring the guy so damn much

seguro even got hiroo to to start teaching him how to do a jump floater before he retired

seguro can give rlly good piggyback rides but hes also constantly scared that hes gonna drop somebody or just collapse entirely

everybody tried their hardest to do something to get kuguri riled up, and for hiroo and sakijima that meant playful teasing, but it never worked and they always ended up getting massively roasted so they just leave him alone

kuguri isnt the type of person to taunt the other side during matches but he makes quiet snide remarks and comments that his teammates hear and repeat, but louder

and often times theyre much better than what everybody else notices or comes up with

the third years started pushing for a new banner with a new motto at the beginning of the year bc it felt a bit too on the nose but the coach like the irony of it so they kept it

hiroo often invites the team over to his house so they can ‘bond,’ but in reality he just wants to play mario kart and mario party and overcooked just to get everybody mad and yelling bc its very funny to him

sakijima and daishou always complain about the colors of nohebi and their school n volleyball uniform because theyre such picky fashionistas and theyre being forced to wear plaid pants and a striped tie and some flashy yellow color—

daishou is adamant about having a team gc on instagram or twitter so they can all keep in touch and send each other funny posts

the team can not (i repeat not) find one singular person that they all find to be conventionally attractive and it is exhausting

seguros always sending pics of attractive ppl in their gc and going ‘? do we stan?’ and there’s always one person that goes ‘no theyre so ugly’

kuguri is secretly a big memelord and likes making memes about certain teachers and events in school and things that happen during practice or games

nohebi rarely gets practice match invites from tokyo teams bc nobody...... nobody rlly likes them..... so they have a lot of connections with schools outside of their prefecture

[numberonehalfdadinthegalaxy]

We arrived at the party about when that the police ships were pulling away, followed by a generous range of nuclear missiles. My heart sank. I suppose Gamora was lying to me about the fireworks.

Perhaps it was a realization that was a long time coming to me, but there was little time to reflect on this. Ronan was already gliding the Sanctuary II over to the right side of the Milano.

As the intern slowed my flagship to an even stop, I took a deep breath and gazed upon the many broken-down speedsters littering the spacescape below.

Though I had fought many things bigger and grander than a horde of Ravager-hovels, something about the sheer number of ships seemed to produce unexpected intimidation in my heart.

I suppose I had never really been what they would call a “party animal.” Even in my childhood upon Titan’s gardens of bliss, it was always my brother, not I, who had the lion’s share of mirth, celebration always his “thing.” But that fact was acceptable for I always had much to do and little time to waste on frivolity.

It was an irony he’d enjoy that my task now took me into the midst of what looked to be, as he would put it, a “banging” party.

Nebula squeezed my hand almost tight enough to cut off any semblance of pulse still pumping through it. Clearly a gesture of comfort that I well appreciated. “So,” she muttered to me, metallic voice echoing in the interior of the spaceship like the ring of a bullet, “Are we going or what?”

I straightened myself up, smoothing over any wrinkles in the suit Ronan had so careful picked out. Not the kind of person that I would have expected to be a fashionista, that Ronan. But all the same.

“I’m ready, my daughter.”

“Good.” With the confidence expected of the daughter of a Titan Eternal, Nebula strode out of the cockpit and down the tentacling tube that hung strung from Sanctuary to Milano like a parasite. I followed her, head somewhat bent-- not out of any sort of anxiety of course, but simply because the ceiling was too low.

And together, we entered the chaos and cacophony of the party.

***

I suppose it was a bit optimistic on my part, even in a room full of drunken pirates, to expect that it would be over five minutes until the two of us were recognized.

Dodging between scuffles, spooning and all the other sort of tomfoolery one would expect at a party thrown by wanted criminals, I was seeking to find, someone, anyone who looked mildly similar to the descriptions the media had given of the Guardians.

Best as I could remember there were five of them.

A genetically modified rodent, schooled in the intricacies of explosive weaponry and sharpshooting.

A botanical being, strong as a galactic toothhare and indestructible save by fire and ash.

A warrior brazen enough to call himself “the Destroyer.” As though he too was tasked with a quest to save the galaxy from ignorance and greed.

A paradoxical pirate captain, half Earthian and half something wilder, more ancient than that.

And finally a huntress. Unshakable warrior. My daughter Gamora.

I had to find her, had to understand the width of the gap that so suddenly had grown between us.

But alas Fortune was not of the same mindset. It was barely a few minutes before the (admittedly strange) sight of a Titan Eternal and galaxy-class assassin weaving through the crowds drew attention-- and with that came recognition.

“Eyyy,” a voice slurred from behind me. I whirled around, unsure if it was I who was being addressed. But the sight unfortunately only offered confirmation. A man dressed in the rags of a Ravager, eyes clouded by spirits stumbled toward me. “Ain’t you Thanos? The Mad Titan?”

I would not flinch. After all, he was drunk. The situation could still be...salvaged. I took a breath and tried to act as disgusted as the rest of the world felt when it saw me. “Your accusations offend me grossly. Systems forbid I should ever be ever be mistaken for that purple error of nature.”

For a moment I thought I had done it. The man’s eyes drooped back into his sockets and he let out a short moan-- something about me “talking funny.”

Then he screamed.

Though I like to think of myself as a being of great restraint, I will admit that I punctuated the ear-curdling shrieks with a few cuss words of my own.

Thankfully, Nebula by now could not hear them, already having disappeared into the throngs of partygoers-- all shape, size and species-- that swarmed to me en masse. From prior experience, I knew that their purpose was to hunt me, tear my flesh to pieces for destroying exactly one half of their civilizations as to to save the rest of them.

And I understood their actions. How, after all, could I fault any single one of my foes when I had taken away so much from them-- family, friends, normalcy? Fear and hatred came far more easily than rationality to the grieving mind. Indeed, as long as this fact held true,  I would be mad to expect any of the survivors to understand the importance of my solution.

All the same... I could not allow this mismatched group of pirates to strike me down.

So with a heavy sigh, I reached for my Infinity Stones, hidden away in a breast pocket because Ronan had thought they would clash with the outfit. The jewels warmed to my touch and responded to my call, enveloping the room in an uneasy scarlet haze. With a snap of my fingers, there now were dozens of Thanoses, each like an image reflected in an infinite mirror.

The pirates halted in confusion and I allowed myself a brief smile. I had learned the trick from my first intern, and though he had been less than helpful, I still used the tactic-- convenient and remarkably nonviolent-- to this day.

Now the problem was reduced a simple matter of sneaking away undetected in the midst of this chaos.

Unfortunately, that was easier said than done when you’re an eight foot tall Titan Eternal.

“Excuse me,” I muttered slipping between two Skrulls hurling shot glasses at one of my doubles.

“Pardon,” I called to a what looked like a genetically modified labrador in a spacesuit as I almost stepped on his tail.

Neither of the groups responded and I knew that the Reality Stone was shielding me somewhat, hiding me away from any set of prying eyes.

I crept closer and closer to the door, careful not to let impatience or anxiety get the best of me. But they would not. I could not have made it this far to my goal without learning to quiet the din of emotions in my head.

At last I was only a few feet from the door, the air alight with shouts and saturated with the smell of alcohol. I drummed my fingers against my side, a nervous habit I had never quite been able to shake, as I lay in wait for an opening. Patience, I thought, Patience yields perfection, Thanos.

The crowd cleared a path almost as though it heard my silent demands.

I took a step.

And then came the explosion.

It was a Type-Y bomb, I could tell that by the size of the blast. Technically illegal in more than 97% of the galaxy and most certainly not approved as a party favor. For a few moments I was knocked to my knees but I rose quickly. Ronan would be furious if I managed to ruin the suit on the Milano’s dirty floors.

“Everybody put your hands up above your heads where I ken see’em.” A sandpaper voice cut through the cloud of haze. Around me, most of the pirates raised their hands, with what appeared to be fearful recognition of the noise’s source.

I, however, did not join them.

This was a game I had played before and one I had known for decades how to win.

I would keep to the shadows where the smoky air and Reality Stone could do their best work; I would find out who I was dealing with, and then I would strike. Patience. That’s the way the great thinkers of Titan had done their work and that’s how I would do mine.

Finally as the dust settled and even my own illusions faded, I finally began to get a glimpse of the man who set the bomb. Except it wasn’t a man.

The creature appeared to be dressed in what was a child’s sports jacket and shorts and was toting a gun nearly as large as its own body. Something clicked within my synapses: I had found my first Guardian.

“A’right. A’right, what’s the big idea here, ya scum?” The rodent took a step forward with enough swagger to fit the dictator of a small planet. The same pirate who I believed had screamed at me earlier in horror stared down the barrel of the Guardian’s gun.

“I, uh…”

But before the man finished, he was cut off by a reedy voice emanating from behind the trigger-happy raccoon. “I am Groot.”

I sighed-- how long had it been since I had practiced any of my Groot-speak? Too long, apparently. But I could glean some clue of what the living tree was saying from his smaller friend’s response.

“Yes, Groot, I can call them scum. I mean, they ain’t my friends, they’re Quill’s.”

“I am Groot.” The tree’s tone was a specific shade of patronizing I remembered from my daughters’ teenage days.

The raccoon rolled his eyes. “I know we’re the ones hosting the party. But why would that made us have to treat ‘em special? They’re lucky to be here.”

“I am Groot.”

“You’re lucky to be here too, and not grounded.”

“I am Groot.”

“Why? Don’t be askin’ me why! Because you haven’t done anything but play that stupid game in weeks!” The first Guardian shifted his gun as to put his hands on his hips. If he were actually on the same scale as the tree, I suppose this might have been found intimidating. But as it was, the companion- Groot- just gave the most indignant of sighs and returned to the glowing screen at his fingertips.

The pirate at the two’s feet raised his hand and gently tried to push the gun so that it was pointed anywhere else but his face. “Hey, uh, man. I was kind of hoping to tell you that--”

The raccoon whirled around baring his teeth. “Hey buddy, can’t you see that I’m kind of in the middle of something here.”

“I mean yes but--” The Ravager shifted his gaze around the room uneasily as though he could sense that I was still here watching.

“Then why don’t you just shut up, huh?” The raccoon jiggled the gun around a bit for effect. “Don’t make Quill have to wipe your brain guts off the floor.”

“No, it’s just--”

“Brain. Guts.”

At last the pirate rose his voice in a understandable desperation. “The Mad Titan is on the Milano!”

It was dead silence after that. The two Guardians stared at the mercenary, jaws hung open in shock as he dove under one of the tables. His body shook as though I was, for some absurd reason, about to strike him with the very rage of the universe itself.

Hmm. The Mad Titan.

I never did like that title.

With a sigh, I stepped out from my place in the shadows and turned to face the two Guardians. All around us, the room reeked of whispers, no one quite able to raise their courage enough to speak aloud.

So I did.

“Greetings Guardians. My apologies for dropping in on you with such little warning. I fear, however, it is a necessary evil. You see I’m looking for one of your comrades, Gamora, and would be greatly indebted to anyone who would help me find her.”

The murmuring among the pirates grew louder and I began to hope that this encounter could reach a peaceful end. But all the while the Guardians’ gazes remained inscrutable. Finally, the raccoon opened his mouth--

“Bitch please.”--

leveled the gun at my chest and fired.

As the bullet hit my rib cage, I realized again to bitter disappointment I had been too optimistic.

“You know,” The words came out as a cough as the stones did their work to knit my tattered flesh together, “I really had high hopes for the two of you. After all, if Gamora had deemed to extend the hand of friendship to you both, then I assumed you to be more than a trigger-happy genetics experiment and a gaming-obsessed tree.”

“You take that back!” The rodent cried and attempted, again, to express his rage through violence.

Unfortunately I was done with the formalities. The Space Stone stopped the detonation before it could get within a few meters of me. Along with the following spray of bullets, river of flames and somehow, another Y-Class Grenade.

As a former tax-paying citizen of the galaxy, I was truly disturbed by the amount of illegal weaponry that was available to this raccoon. As the father of a woman who had spent the last several months with this creature, I was terrified.

“Please. I meant no offense,” I said, taking great measures to keep my voice as calm as possible. “Just show me where Gamora is. I must speak to her--”

The raccoon let out a low growl “Over my dead body--”

“I am Groot.”

“--and Groot’s dead body too.”

I shook my head, confused. It was not like living beings to demand their own death, particularly over something as menial as preventing a conversation. “Are you certain that’s your request?”

“It’s not a request, grapenuts,” The raccoon managed to load yet another bomb into the front of his gun, then caressing its trigger in what I supposed was one final attempt to look “badass”:“It’s a promise.”

“Very well then,” I shrugged. The minds of these creatures were not mine to fathom. “If you insist--”

“Wait.”

My words were interrupted by what appeared to be another Ravager. Ragged leather, cybernetic accessories, scruffy face marked with poorly hidden panic and yet-- his voice sounded somewhat familiar. “No dead bodies. Not today. Not on Christmas.”

At last I placed it.

“Quill! I don’t suppose you could help me locate Gamora? Your two friends over here have been inexplicably uncooperative and--”

“Hold on a moment,” The human’s face pinched in confusion, “First thing-- how in the Seven Systems do you know my name? And second thing, what the hell do you want Gamora for?”

The raccoon cut in, jabbing the star captain in the only place he was able to reach-- which was, unfortunately, the groin. “It’s Thanos, ya bastard. What do you think that he wants with Gamora?”

“I am Groot.”

“That’s right, Groot-- bloody murder!”

Slaughter-- is that all they expected of me? Even with my own daughter?

I believe I was, as Star-lord’s species would say, beginning to reach the end of my rope. “I do not desire to kill Gamora, nor do I understand the path you have taken to reach that conclusion. I merely wish to speak with her-- which is actually the same method by which I learned your name, Peter Quill.”

The human looked bemused for some reason.“You and Gamora… have met?”

“Yes-- the two of us have known each other for years.” I replied with a hint of frustration. What did Quill think-- that I was just another absentee father?

The Guardian’s face was punctuated with confusion, even more confusion-- and then at last resolve. “Well you still can’t see her. And if you don’t get out of here in the next five minutes then I’m… I’m calling Nova Corps.”

“Even though they hate us?” The raccoon muttered. “Dude.”

“Yes, even though they hate us.” Peter Quill declared, glaring at me with an insane courage that I actually found impressive. “Because, you know what? They hate Thanos more.”

Unfortunately, I could not deny this.

Nor was I in any mood to deal with the Nova Corps tonight.

So perhaps in a last ditch effort to make Gamora’s friends see reason, I threw my hands up in exasperation. My voice, almost of its own accord, called out as though directing a question to the universe itself: “What must a man do to see his daughter in this galaxy?!”

The reactions I was expecting:

Anger.

Empathy.

Or even pity perhaps.

The reactions I was not expecting:

Utter shock and--

One face, the most important face of them all, turning away as though I had taken her wildest dream and turned it to ash.

[likewaterintodryearth]

Obliteration of Outdated Archetypes in MWT’s Queen’s Thief Saga

MWT saw the hegemonic patriarchal, traditionally binary stories of old and flipped them around upon their heads. Saw duality and gave us the spectrum of all infinite possibility and Oneness in its place: -Both the queens are older than their kings.

-Both the queens are more experienced than their kings.

-The female main characters are comfortable in their power while the male main characters are initially hesitant about accepting their power.

-Helen and Irene are predominantly extroverted while Sophos and Eugenides are predominantly introverted.

-The male characters shed far more tears in far more heart-shattering sobs collectively than the female characters across the series although all of them have their emotionally vulnerable moments that cement our love for them.

-Irene is taller than Eugenides.

-The Queen of Eddis carries herself like a soldier, is broad-shouldered and muscular, wears her hair “short like a man’s,” wears trousers most of the time and a soldier’s uniform when she’s fighting a war with her men on the front lines. -The men AND women of Eddis are trained as soldiers and when they are too old to fight, both men and women also help with the sewing (traditionally a woman’s task). -Irene hunts in her free time while Eugenides is like “no thanks, I’ve already been hunted in Attolia.” -The male main characters are more resistant to killing. (with the exception of maybe Costis as a soldier)  -The female main characters’ hands are more covered in blood than the male’s. (They did what needed to be done... with the exception of Kamet, who is male-bodied but on one level is the most effeminate of all, who is not morally resistant to killing but as a slave was forbidden to even look at a butterknife or remotely partake in the traditionally masculine activity of defense. -Eddis’s female attendants are armed just like her guards are.

-Sophos is as softly effeminate, sensitive, emotional, humble, empathetic and bunny-like as they come while looking like a strapping thug.

-Sophos the heir to the throne is imprisoned in his role and only finds psychological and emotional freedom when physically enslaved.

-Kamet is physically enslaved and yet slated to become one of the most powerful men in the empire.

-The Queen of Attolia who wields so much power is initially one of the most enslaved people in the land.

-The frightening, terrifying, savage, ruthless Queen of Attolia is also one of the most vulnerable, delicate, childlike, shy individuals imaginable. -Costis spends the entirety of KoA feeling or appearing humiliated, embarrassed, chagrined, bumbling and incompetent and then reappears in TaT as the one of the most skilled, competent, strong, strapping survivalists imaginable.  If I had to pick one of the main characters to be stranded on a deserted island with, I would choose Costis for sure.

-The Thief of Eddis’s late MOTHER was just as wild, daring, agile and free as her son and what sounds like it would be a male-dominant “profession” clearly was not. -Apparently, if you’re a royal thief, you can steal all manner of things without getting arrested.

-”Thief” means so much more than one who steals stuff.  A thief is a head spy, a manipulator on behalf of state, a magician, a a master of poker, deceit and cunning, an acrobat, a traceuse, a picture of grace and athleticism, -In every other story, the thief is the villain, the bad guy.  Here, the Thief is the HERO. -Irene rejects Nahusaresh, portrayed as the “masculine ideal” (tall, handsome, powerful, etc.) in favor of Gen.

-Sophos rejects the “conveniently beautiful, bird-brained” Berrone in favor of the non-traditionally attractive, brilliant Helen. -The Queen of Eddis can be found more likely sitting on the steps in front of her throne connecting with her court/people than sitting on her throne and yet she “would still be loved as queen even in a burlap sack.” -The Queen of Eddis is “not beautiful” in the traditional sense and yet she is so freaking beautiful and her people all agree with me.

-The fashionista of a the group is male (Gen) and apparently has better tastes in clothes than the Queen of Eddis.

-The Queen of Eddis’s prisoner of war is also one of her closest friends (the Magus)

-Eugenides foregoes a marriage to someone who has treated him with kindness and respect (Agape) to marry someone who has permanently disabled him and hurt him the most brutal way imaginable. -Kamet is Costis’s wife.  They are two male-bodied people.

-The physically weakest character is male (Kamet).

-The smallest character is male (Kamet).

-The character who has never even touched a weapon is male. (Kamet)

-The most initially violent and aggressive character is female (Irene). -The bluntest, most direct character is female. (Helen). -The most humble, submissive, easily embarrassed character is male. (Sophos) -The slave (Kamet) is “more educated” than the middle/working class free man (Costis). -The lead protagonist who wins the most beautiful woman in the land is a small man of color. -The economically poorest of the city-states (Eddis) is the most utopian, functional and abundant in personal integrity, cooperation and loyalty of its citizens. -The economically richest nation (Mede Empire) is the poorest in terms of integrity.  (I realize this we’re no longer talking about defying archetypes, but simply stating universal ironies. Can you think of anything I am missing? @artfrostedleaf @shebsart​ like we were talking about.  Thank you always for being as excited as I am to unfold the mysteries. @fuckyeahqueensthief I get your blog updates constantly and I am thankful to you for indulging my feverish passion for these books.

[deveharrington]

i’m working on Common Trash Men/Common Trash Davids part 2 and its like impossible to finish because I keep coming up with new ideas for masks/facades lmaoo... 

Here’s one of my recent faves (and a very common thing I know we ALL experience in our daily lives... sigh). I thought about this after seeing those depressing and yet hilarious (laughing to protect myself from all consuming anger at the exploitative nature of the “situation”) Soho pics and thinking about ....like, I know he’s not a fashionista by any means but I mean... pls tell me these two just both showed up to a restaurant with no effort put into their appearance because David can’t cook (yes, he admitted this fact in an interview where he was signing his oh so valuable autograph in his books... lmao and I guess he couldn’t see the irony of him presenting himself as a genius novelist who can’t cook... even after so many years of life........ even after raising two kids like..... omg poor Tea........................ lmao.) and he got really hungry all of a sudden. And, from my experience of wearing a similar type of careless outfit to the ER, I’d describe these outfits as - “I’m just wearing these clothes in case I need to burn them if they get contaminated”. 

And I was thinking too, for a certain someone who seems to at least be trying even with their poorly blended hair extensions (or, if that is their look of choice then... no judgment from me, if they like it I love it. w/e) or any young someone or ANYONE who likes to put some effort into their appearance (and not even for vanity, just even to be appropriate for the situation) I mean... isn’t it kind of lame and embarrassing to be with someone who doesn’t?? :-) 

THEREFORE: 

Common Trash Men #487954389843: Can do everything on the planet.... except cook. 

Yes, ladies, this man can tour the world as a “singer”, write press conference worthy novels, win acting awards, write screenplays, attempt to direct movies, but this man cannot cook - what an anomaly! I’m sure it has nothing to do with falsely believing that certain duties of basic human survival should be relegated to females oh no no no.