#excuse my weird phrases. i cant find the usual ones

[inadequate-nefelibata]

Still thinking about lil nas x, a 21 yo, who was also very closeted as a kid, receiving an unrelenting stream of homophobic comments online. And thinking about the reaction there was to that on social media.

I mean, the choice to fend these people off with jokes was his to make, and I get why ppl wanted to celebrate him. I did too. He’s excellent and so were the song and the video. But it was a bit striking to me that it took so long for people to even begin to wonder if he was doing okay, if this was affecting him in any way. It was only after dozens and dozens of posts making memes along with him that users started bringing up one tweet where he mentioned that he was feeling very anxious. Maybe 6 or so people commented on that.

It’s possible that was just my dashboard, or that most people did wonder but they just wanted to follow his lead. I mean, if that’s how he was facing the situation, then let him.

But I just… have been thinking about this for a while now. When it comes to this specific situation, there are some great post discussing this, by people who get his situation much better than me. What I’ve been thinking about is the effect that social media has had on our response to queerphobia and to bigotry in general. And just the responses we have to bigotry nowadays.

 Because of social media, we are more exposed than ever to all those ideas and groups that want to and have managed to hurt is. Lovers and haters of something occupy the same space, so you stumble upon their musings all the time. If you are a public figure, it specifically comes to find you. And Social media turns everyday activities and thoughts into a performance, so of course, vulnerability and sensibility are hard (impossible, I’d say); in a public setting, a disaffected front is easier.

My point is, I think because of this, somewhere along the way we started getting this idea that turning the hate you get into a joke or into a source of “inner strength” is the best-case scenario when it comes to dealing with bigotry.

Let me be clear: I do think that it’s necessary to learn to let go of hateful comments and actions sometimes. And joking around can help. If we were to focus all of our attention and emotions on every single fatphobic/racist/misogynistic/transphobic etc event of our lives, we would probably end up falling apart. Also, like I mentioned before, being vulnerable in social media is. Basically hell. It makes sense to be this way, especially for public figures.

But I do not want to end up creating a social environment where marginalized people are… I don’t know. Sensitive to being sensitive.  Some time ago I read something about “a fixation with reclamation” or something like that, in reference to people who are just… straight up transphobic or homophobic, and justify their behavior by pointing out that they’re part of those groups.

I guess this is something that’s not exclusively related to social media. We’re all living in a world where some forms of social injustice are still common place. We want to change that, but the path to the reality we want is meandering and rocky, and, at some point, you have to develop some short-term skills to deal with the situation you actually experience.

So… yeah, that’s how it is. Learning to make something good out of the bad stuff they throw at you.  I mean, reclaiming slurs is an example of this, and I use “queer” all the time because it feels right to do so. That this is something that we do is not the problem. Neither is being able to joke or downplay bigoted comments occasionally.

The question is: are we separating necessity from… I don’t know, morally affirming hardships?  Does that make sense…? What I mean is, are we interpreting our ability to be unaffected by these behaviors as something that “makes us stronger” somehow? Something that proves our worth? Are we better than other members of the group if we can joke about it, instead of being sensitive to it, or being hurt by it? Is this something we are incorporating to our mentality?

I don’t know. I just wonder about that sometimes. About whether or not this is happening. It’s possible that it isn’t, and this is just what I’m getting from social media at the moment. There are many conversations that aren’t happening here, but I do I have them with my real life friends, for example. Or maybe I’m misreading the situation, and there’s a better explanations for the things I’m talking about. It may be the effect of internalized bigotry: it could be that people are finding “woke” ways of behaving in the way they learned to behave when they were younger. It could be the effect of having different experiences: for example, joking about “going to hell” Is easier if you were never raised to actually believe that. It’s probably all of those things.

I just keep thinking about it.

We can’t really reclaim homophobia/transphobia/racism… etc. At some point, it’s something that is out there and it happens to us. Even when you learn to joke about it, it fucks you up. The aim is that at some point, someone growing up in the world won’t have the faintest idea of what it’s like to experience that. The things that happen in history never go away, but it can be like, I don’t know, reading about people who thought that the sun circled around the earth, if that makes sense.

I’m sure most people know that already, I don’t want to say obvious things. But I do wonder if it’s like a narrative we tell ourselves at this point: we endure bigotry and we win out. Like those experiences have an intrinsic meaning, instead of being a necessary part of existing in this world as a marginalized group.  Also, another thing that doesn’t feel right about this is that all the emphasis on the pain we withstand can make us forget that, in most cases, the reason why we’re still in one piece today is because of our communities. Is because other people offered us kindness, and companionship, and acceptance. Someone somewhere had to figure out their life on their own, I’m sure, but a lot of the time you at least have a sense of belonging to something larger.

All of this may be connected the idea that pain is morally edifying. But this is too long already so I’ll just leave it at:

?????

(Side note: I keep using examples of queer experinces, I guess bc those are the things I know the most. But maybe talking about bigotry in general terms was a bad call here. I don’t know. If someone has a different experience from mine and wants to add something, you’re welcome to do so.)

[lovelybarnes]

baby blue- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, tony stark bruce banner, steve rogers, sam wilson warnings: child bucky, language, this is long. why is this so long about: requested by @cherry-season (apparently can't tag you)! bucky turns into a baby/toddler and is clingy a/n: okay so i know virtually nothing about three-year-olds. can you tell? thank you so much for requesting!! I had so much fun writing this <333

[@tylard-blog1]

bucky’s day wasn’t particularly fantastic to begin with.

he was already exhausted when he woke up in the early lights of the morning, his nightmares had kept him up all night-- which you theorized was due to the mission the day before that took place in one of the same hydra bases bucky had been held in. you had frowned when you realized it the day of, turning your attention to bucky and making sure he was okay with it because if he wasn’t, you would make sure someone else took care of it. he had insisted it was fine, even though the next night proved him wrong. you had done what you could, running your fingers through his hair and humming lightly until you fell asleep and he refused to wake you up, resigning himself to a sleepless night.

his morning started with his flesh arm reaching out to feel your side of the bed, hoping to find your soft, warm skin to pull you closer, but instead being met with the unkind sheets that missed the gentleness of your body. he had frowned when he realized you had already left for a meeting with some important hotshot in space with carol (you couldn’t find a better excuse to go get breakfast at your favorite alien restaurant with your favorite aliens) and wouldn’t be back for a solid few hours too long. groaning, and with no real reason to stay in bed for any longer without the excuse of getting to feel you for a few more hours, he dragged himself out of bed.

it didn’t get much better from there, because he was greeted with the sight of sam eating the last bowl of the last box of cereal in the whole damn tower because everyone rejected to go grocery shopping. since bucky refused to eat any of the frozen breakfasts tony loved so much and the stark kid swore were “the best thing ever,” he grunted at sam and walked away without eating, knowing he’d regret it later when his stomach would growl and you would immediately know he skipped breakfast.

for some unknown reason, tony had found out about bucky’s lack of things to do, and with a few winks and manipulative large-worded engineering phrases, convinced him to join him in the lab, which bucky had only really been able to see through the clear glass that separated the lab from the rest of the tower, and from the occasions where he would take food and drinks to you while you locked yourself away inside, building something alongside tony.

being inside, so close to the various machines and objects bucky cant begin to figure out the purpose of, his memories of being in school and at the top of his math and engineering classes bubble to the surface, filling him with the pride he remembers having every day at school. the thought that he could probably understand everything if you or tony explained it to him passes through his mind and urges him to ask tony to do just that, but tony beats him before he can get the chance.

bruce is eyeing them wearily from the other side of the lab, attention mostly on the test tubes in front of him. he gives bucky a smile when he comes in, but seems to ignore him for the most part until tony shows bucky to bruce’s work station, pointing out a blue liquid in a test tube marked TESTING. bruce’s neck snaps to them when tony open his big mouth, “you know, y/n was actually supposed to test something out for me today,” tony begins innocently, a suggestion laced in his words that bucky catches but decides to ignore because of the high he feels from understanding the equations scribbled on the clear glass, “do you know where she is?”

bucky narrows his eyes at him, then looks up at the clock, realizing it’s still a while before you get back, “not even on earth,” he recipes blandly, slyly sneaking a glance at the liquid for any indications of what it could be.

tony sighs dramatically, his shoulders sagging, “oh no, how do i test this now?” bruce shoots tony a warning glance that is blatantly ignored.

bucky’s shrugging before he can help it, the reminder that since you were going to do it, what could be the harm if he did? “i could do it.”

tony claps, “great!” he gestures to a door behind him, “please go in there to sign non-disclosure agreements and wash your hands.”

bucky’s shoved inside before he can fully understand the implications of his stupid offer.

-

the thought of asking the basic questions he should have asked before he agreed to test an unidentified liquid comes to bucky nearly an hour later, when the small vial of weird blue liquid sits in front of him, waiting to be drunk. tony and bruce sit in chairs a couple of feet away, clipboards in both of their hands, and interested expressions settled on their features.

“what does this do again?” he asks, squinting at the vial that he doesn’t notice tony isn’t looking at, furrowing his eyebrows when tony waves him off, “something super smart. no side effects or anything.” bucky’s eyes flit down to the little vial again, before they nearly bug out of his head at the humongous laser that is rolled into the room, “what the hell is that.”

“ah,” tony grins, bouncing from his seat to stand next to his invention proudly, “this is what you’re testing out.” bucky cocks his head at the man, “i thought i was drinking blue water. y/n was going to drink blue water.” tony shakes his head, adjusting some dials on the machine, “yeah, no, it was this. pretty sure i told you.”

“you didn’t-” bruce is looking at tony in concern, about to tell him to slow down so bucky has a chance to think all this through again and maybe ask if there is any chance the laser will melt him, when tony clicks a large red button and a bright white light clouds bucky’s vision just as he sees the clock on the exact same time he saw an hour ago, realizing the clock in the billion-dollar lab is broken, and you’re probably getting home any second.

“tony!” he hears bruce yell before his vision goes dark.

it’s only a second until he can pry open his eyes again, a hand curling into a fist, ready to pound stark into tomorrow when he can suddenly feel the nails of his hand digging into his palm. the surprising feeling of it where his vibranium arm should be forces him to look down at a small arm, fully skin and thin. he looks around, noticing his surroundings suddenly have grown very large around him, and the sound of his voice is higher when he tries to speak again.

“what the f-” he mumbles, cutting himself off when a sudden memory of his ma yelling at him to wash his mouth out if he wants to talk like that floods his mind, and he stares down at himself, eyebrows furrowing when he spots his short stature and the tiny hands and feet that look up at him. realization floods him like a wave, raising his chin at the two, tall, gobsmacked men in front of. “was that supposed to happen?” bruce asks quietly, nodding slowly when tony shakes his head, “no.”

there’s a light knock at the door, your hand pushing it open before anyone can stop you, and your tired face peeks in, a glowing smiling adorning your face and your eyes searching for your boyfriend, “hey, do you guys know where bucky is-” your voice cuts through the stunned silence, pausing when you catch the little boy’s eye. at first, you stare at him, your eyebrows pulling together as you get a good look at the familiar cerulean of his eyes and scan the clothing you’d seen on bucky before. for a second, everything is silent, bucky’s eyes are wide and staring as yours bore into them, searching for something you’re nearly touching until you gasp, “bucky?” you choke, reaching for him when he nods, his legs already trying to reach you as fast as they possibly can but they buckle. bucky realizes just then how old he must be now. “oh, baby,” you murmur, gathering him up in your arms before he can fall to the hard ground of the lab. “what the hell did you idiots do to my boyfriend?” you demand, turning to the two scientists who are going over tony’s notes.

bruce glances at tony, tilting his head at him as if to say him. you roll your eyes, not having any more information than when you asked, “tony?” you growl, walking over to the man, not missing the way little bucky’s hand grabs onto your shirt.

“it didn’t- that wasn’t supposed to happen,” tony defends weakly, a lazy shrug pulling at his shoulders. your eyes flash with velvet red, and, without moving a finger, tony’s pulled in front of you, wrapped in red swirls bucky can’t help but gawk at.

“fix it.” you order. tony nods, pursing his lips, “we’ll do that.” bruce looks a little taken aback, looking up from tony’s scribbles and equations. “i don’t think it’ll last more than a day,” he offers helpfully, “whatever it was tony was trying to do wasn’t either.”

bucky’s eyes start to droop, which he assumes is an effect of the sleepless night he just had on his infant body, something that usually wouldn’t affect him in his one-hundred-and-six-year-old self. he hums when he realizes the irony, leaning his head against the welcoming crook of your neck and catching your attention. you turn to him for a moment, softening a little before turning back to tony and glaring at him, “fix it.”

-

steve catches you when you walk out of the lab, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head when he spots the toddler in your arms, “holy shit, that looks exactly like bucky,” he breathes, scanning the dark mussed-up hair and stepping back when bucky opens his eyes. from next to him, sam looks from bucky to you, “did you two have a kid and not tell anyone, because this-”

“is bucky. that’s bucky.” you interrupt, looking at the toddler, “tony messed up with something and… this happened, i don’t completely… bucky’s a baby.”

steve raises an eyebrow, squinting at his best friend, “ha,” he laughs, “wow, he looks exactly like his pictures. he must be about three years old.” bucky blinks at him. “his ma said he was chatting up a storm at that age, though,” steve informs, looking back up at you. sam grins, “has he said anything? i kinda want to hear if he still sounds old.” bucky frowns at him, his pout deepening when sam bursts into laughter, “his grumpy face is the same!”

you look at your boyfriend, tilting your head and smiling a little when you realize he’s right, “you’re cute,” you coo now that you get a good look at him, “you’re so cute,” you murmur, poking his nose with your finger. bucky can’t help the blush that comes to his cheeks. but he slaps away sam’s fingers, scowling at him, “no.” he argues, “no.”

sam frowns, “no old man voice.”

“i hate you,” bucky says to sam, and you laugh, “i think we should leave for now. i need to figure out what will make three-year-old bucky not as grumpy.” sam looks at bucky’s furrowed brows and the same two little lines between them, his eyes flickering back up to yours, “i think that may just be a bucky thing.”

-

you bring bucky to the living room, sitting him down at the edge of the couch and crouching in front of him, watching him and his little crossed arms, bottom lip jutted out against his own will. bucky isn’t used to the emotional control of a child who’s three and can’t control the frustration that’s coursing through him at the moment. the only thing he knows for sure is that he doesn’t want you to leave him again.

“bucky?” you start, looking deep into the wide blue eyes that let you know it is bucky you’re speaking to. “what do you want to do? are you hungry? d’you want to sleep?” bucky shakes his head stubbornly at you, “i want tony to fix this.”

you sigh, “i know, baby. i do too, but until he finds a cure to this, you’re gonna stay small for a couple more hours.” he pouts at that, and you smooth your thumb over his cheek, “no pouting. we can do whatever you want, buck.”

just as he’s about to reject any idea you have, his stomach rumbles loudly, directing your attention to the arms that guiltily cover up his middle. “bucky... did you eat breakfast today?” you query, a lecturing tone sneaking into your words. “sam ate my cereal,” bucky grumbles, crossing his arms.

“bucky!” you exclaim, standing up to turn to the kitchen, “that’s no excuse. i told you you needed to eat--” you’re barely three steps into the kitchen when you hear the pattering of his feet towards you, grubby hands pawing at your legs.

“don’t leave,” he whines, hugging your ankles and sitting down on the floor, “you left all morning,” he mumbles, smushing his cheeks against your calf.

“i’m sorry,” you apologize, bending over to brush away the hair that falls over his eyes. “c’mere,” you murmur, reaching down to pick him up again and bounce him on your hip while you head to the kitchen. “what do you want to eat?” bucky thinks about it for a minute, before smiling, “i want pizza and ice cream.” you frown at him, “i don’t think three-year-olds can eat that. actually, i don’t think anyone should.”

after consulting google on what three-year-olds should eat, you have bucky’s head resting on your shoulder, refusing to let you put him down even as you made him the mac and cheese he had agreed to, still a little upset over the fact you wouldn’t let him eat all the other things he wanted. the only time he let you not carry him was when he was eating, still insisting you sit right next to him to watch as he smeared cheese all over tony’s expensive table.

“okay,” you whisper breathlessly after watching him eat his third bowl of the meal, “i think that’s good.” you shove the dirty dishes in the sink, washing bucky’s hands and wiping at him cheeks with a warm cloth to get the mess he managed to create off. “did you forget how to eat?” you wonder aloud when you finally fnish cleaning him up, watching his small shoulders shrug.

“what do you want to do now? anything you want,” you propose.

“i want you,” he says, reaching his stubby arms out, “cuddles. ‘m sleepy,” he yawns, making grabby hands at you when you take too long to pick him up. “bucky,” you chuckle, complying with him and bringing him into your chest, where he leans his head on your shoulder. “you sure you don’t want to play or something? you don’t want to…” you trail off, trying to think of what three-year-olds do, “walk or read or something?”

bucky grunts in your ear, his eyelids already closing again, “cuddles,” he repeats, balling your shirt up in his little hands.

“okay,” you sigh, bouncing him gently while you walk to your shared bedroom. you pick up a stuffed animal you brought for bucky from one of your most recent missions, “did you sleep last night? is that why you’re so tired?” bucky hums, cuddling further into your chest when you lay down with him on top of you. you hand him the little dog plush, pressing a kiss to his head when he takes the gift, hugging it with you. “honey, i’m sorry,” you frown, gently threading your fingers through his short hair, humming the same song bucky sings to you when you can’t get to sleep. it doesn’t take long to lull him into the calmness of rest.

you only wake up when the weight on you is suddenly multiplied, completely taking your breath away, “bucky!-” you exclaim, rolling from underneath him to meet his closed eyes. you shake your head with a light laugh, drawing a strand of hair behind his ear before you press your lips to his cheeks, snuggling in with him again, “sweet dreams, darling,” you murmur, placing the stuffed animal he dropped on your dresser.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Mac

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You first meet Mac when you stop by to check on Valerie after she called you the night before, telling you all about what happened with her and Ted.

- You and her had been friends for a while and you decided you were going to try to cheer her up or at least make sure she was okay after such a rough night. Although when you got there you were greeted with the completely unexpected; trashed house, an interesting contraption in the pool and three furry guys roaming around your best friends living room.

- Immediately upon seeing them you dropped your things and froze; they turned around when they heard the thudding on Valerie’s carpet. All of them got up and started to move towards you in curiosity.

- You were about ready to faint before Valerie came into the room, saw you and ushered the aliens back onto the couch. Meanwhile you had quickly picked up your things and rushed out of there with Valerie hot on your heels trying to explain what you had just seen.

- She slowly coaxed you back into the house where you were properly introduced to the three extraterrestrials.

- Of course Wiploc immediately tried to “flirt” with you. Him and Zeebo probably freaked you out more than you already were before Mac and Valerie managed to get them to act “normal”.

- You went with Valerie to the salon where you got to see the guys once they were madeover. Like Valerie you were practically speechless when they came out especially once you saw Mac; neither of you were expecting a washboard stomach and the face of a movie star.

- Mac pretty much trails after you like a lost puppy when you arrive at the club (and everywhere else you go), trying to get to know you better with his limited understanding of the English language and people as a whole.

- The only time he leaves your side is when Valerie walks off and after he follows her you sort of assume he was only around you because you were next to Valerie.

- After Valerie tells him about what she and most girls want; a Mr. right, he goes to you and asks if he could be someone’s Mr. right (hint hint cough cough). You grow a little flustered but think he’s talking about Valerie so you awkwardly tell him yes and list off a few reasons why.

- Each reason makes him smile a little more and gets him to move closer to you before you ultimately excuse yourself to go sulk; confusing him as he’s left standing on his own and wondering if he did something wrong.

“He’s an alien, you’re from the valley. It could never work out anyway, you shouldn’t bother getting upset about it. This whole thing is crazy!” You keep telling yourself. But that doesn’t help the fact that your heart still races everytime you see him and that you are still indeed upset when you see him looking at your best friend.

- You still hang out with him and the gang all the while pretending you aren’t falling for him harder and harder every minute.

- Mac tends to watch you a lot, it’s because he’s amazed by you and your beauty but you just assume he’s interested in you because you’re human and a foreign being to him.

- One night as you were hanging out; alone together for the first time in a while, he asked you why you were single amongst other personal questions. He can’t help but smile as he listens to you describe your ideal man and the dreams you’ve had about that special someone since you were young.

- You begin to realize that your idea of a perfect man is just him; so you finally decide to confess no matter the outcome. Slowly, you start to finish your sentence getting quieter and quieter until you end it with “I guess I’m looking for someone like… you.”

“I am your mr. Right?” He asks slowly.

“Yeah,” you smile nervously. “Yeah, I think you are.”

- You watch as he smiles at you and stay still as he begins to lean in, letting his lips meet yours as his hand comes to hold your cheek.

- And from that point on, you began your inter-species relationship with the extraterrestrial.

- Wiploc tries to flirt with you a lot and usually thinks it’s funny when Mac reprimands him even though it doesn’t always happen. Mostly because Wiploc has the mentality of a five year old and 90% of the time his flirting is half jokingly asking for a kiss when he barely understands what a kiss is.

- Observing his weird quirks.

- Being amazed by his different, odd abilities. He just gives you a sheepish smile when he catches you watching.

- He’s probably the best man you’ve ever dated purely because he isn’t a man and hasn’t been contaminated by earthly society.

- Whenever you’re out on the town you sometimes have to remind him that normal humans cannot do certain things that him and other aliens can. Be prepared to watch that he isn’t making anyone suspicious.

- He doesn’t understand your insecurities. What’s the big deal about some markings on your skin or the fact that you have a different body shape then those around you? He’s seen all kinds of humans look all sorts of ways, isn’t looking different a normal thing with humans?

- Even though he doesn’t understand he helps you with them and reassures you whenever you get upset.

- What do you mean sex is taboo, why?

- Oh and what’s better than sex? Sex with an alien that can give you sexy time psychedelics.

- Helping him rehearse being human when you have to go somewhere important.

- He tends to mimic you when you do something he’s never seen/heard before like a gesture, facial expression or some kind of phrase. It’s really kind of cute.

- He copies a lot of things from tv.

Wow that compliment seems awfully familiar.

(Cut to you watching some rom com) That adorable motherfucker

- Travelling to space with him at some point, even if you don’t stay forever.

- Wiploc and Zeebo are pains in the ass but you can’t help but love them. Mac usually makes sure to keep them in line, especially when they try to run off or flirt (too much) with you.

- Always listens very closely to what you say. If you think you’ve been “heard” in the past, just you wait until you talk with him.

- Hand holding, he loves when you grab his hand in public even though it’s probably just to keep him with you and make sure he doesn’t wander off.

- Only has eyes for you, he’s completely disinterested in anyone else and he’ll quickly go over to your side whenever he can get away from the person keeping him from you.

- Even after you start dating he still stares at you a lot and you really don’t know why; you just hope it’s for a good reason. It’s because he’s absolutely in love with you.

- Loves affection, like he can never get enough or give enough.

- He tries very hard to impress you especially before you’re dating. Oh you’re stopping by Valerie’s, well it just so happens he’s shirtless and covered in grease while working on the ship. You think the guy in the tv is strong? Watch this!

- Listening to stories about his planet and space, more often then not its the soundtrack of your dreams.

- He’s honestly fascinated by you, even after you’ve been dating a while he’s still caught off guard by how amazing you can be.

- He always wants the best for you even if it’s not with him.

- But lets be honest would you even dare dump an alien especially when they look and act like Mac?

- Listening to his double heartbeat.

- He loves holding you to his chest whenever you’re laying in bed. He’s very cuddly for someone who really shouldn’t understand the concept of snuggling.

- Picking you any little flower he sees and is allowed to grab or can grab without anyone noticing.

- You need help? He’s always there for you.

- If you ever want anything fixed he’ll definitely give it a try even if he goes into it not really knowing what he’s doing. He’ll pick up a book from the library, touch a few of the pages and go to work. It usually only takes him about an hour to get whatever’s broken fixed.

- Be prepared to get alien upgrades on your home appliances.

- He can get sort of jealous but more often then not he just gets confused as to why he’s feeling the way he is. Before you realized what it meant it always confused you whenever you’d catch him standing or sitting beside you with a puzzled look on his face.

- He’s very sympathetic and he likes helping you with your problems so don’t feel like you’re being annoying whenever you rant to him. You could never be a burden in his eyes.

- He’s very touchy so you’ll end up having to swat his hands away a lot.

- Always trying to keep his hands on any part of you. It’s your job to decide when it’s because he wants you to himself or when it’s because he doesn’t want to get lost. (Spoiler alert: you cant ever really tell!)

- Trying to stifle your giggles when you hear his odd combinations of slang. Sometimes he purposefully strings together weird sentences just to see you try to hold back a smile.

“Miss Dude”

- He always tries to make you happy no matter what it takes.

- He loves seeing you; he could never get tired of looking at your face or being around you. You’re basically his home now so whenever he’s homesick he just looks at you.

- Hand kisses. He used to think it was just how humans addressed each other so he’d kiss your hand every time he saw you but now he realizes there’s more to it than that. Since he’s learned that there’s; usually, intimacy behind it he tries to do it even more now and reserves the action only for you.

- Listening to him play piano. He memorizes your favorite songs by heart(s).

- Gifts from space whenever he has to leave earth. You have a shelf full of moon rocks and alien plants.

- Be sure to keep a razor and some Nair handy for emergencies.

- He’s a natural at modeling for photos but the smolder he tends to have in them is literally just him squinting from the flashing light.

- He likes when you take him shopping with you, especially when it’s clothes shopping. He finds it fun when you style him even though he doesn’t really care for fashion all that much.

- For an alien he sure can kiss. He will literally kiss you until you’re weak in the knees and then some.

- Sitting between his legs with your back on his chest while you listen to him tell you about the stars.

- I feel like he’d have cat-like tendencies; head nuzzling, purring, etc.

- You’ll probably have to deal with a long distance relationship for a little while; it’s only a matter of time before he’ll have to return to his home planet for something.

- The instant he learns what “I love you” actually means he starts telling you it constantly and gets really excited when you say it back.

- Mac would have “proposed” to you (or the alien equivalent) the day he met you so rest assured he’s in it for the long run.

- And plus, an intergalactic wedding must be pretty interesting, right?

[yourprayer]

losers club at christmas hcs

for @kaspdrak <3 

join my 100 celebration!!!

- gonna say this right out the gates bc when its not acknowledged.... im angry

- stan celebrates Hanukkah and the other losers all give him extra presents for it

-  also they love to hear abt hanukkah traditions from stan?? like some of their early days in december are spent sitting around stan’s fireplace drinking cider and listening to him just.. explain the whole holiday & its history 

- stan is very very proud of his heritage and loves that his friends are super respectful and don’t force alternate customs on him (but he most certainly gives them all presents bc he LOVES HIS FRIENDS)

- the losers always have a post-christmas party where they exchange gifts bc they’re all stuck with their families on the actual holidays

- but pre-holidays??? early december??? first snow??? these kids are unstoppable

- im talkin snow men, im talkin sledding down main street, im talkin christmas light competitions

- richie and bill may or may not have blocked off an entire coldesac to build forts for their epic five hour snowball fight

- eddie is obsessed with having the best decorations. this motherfucker will kill to have the best lights on the block

- him and mike team up bc mike is super fast & organized as he staples lights on the roof how?? 

- mike’s family doesn’t really like decorating but they are all for mike helping the others out (and his grandpa actually has a great time when mike takes him on a tour of all the loser’s houses he helped decorate)

- the loser’s driving around in ben’s mom’s car touring christmas lights that are set to radio stations

- eddie’s mom is adamant he Will Get Hypothermia so she bundles him in so many layers he looks like the little brother from christmas story

- which richie talks about for months

- the losers watching christmas story in bills living room 

- “you know im really glad we don’t believe in santa. this guy is fucking creepy”

- “you’re just jealous”

- “jealous of what richie? i get more presents on more days and there aren’t fat angry strangers breaking into my house”

- ben burns everyone mix cds for their presents with songs he thinks they will love

- he has impeccable taste and everyone thinks their mix cds are the bomb

- beverly is the QUEEN of winter fashion

- truly the master of ugly christmas sweaters

- her only competition? eddie, who wears them not to be ironic but because mrs. k makes him

- richie does not know how to dress for the season and is always this close to frostbite & doesn’t even notice

- like this bitch still wears his ratty ass converse in two feet of snow

- bev loves to make everyone pancakes in the mornings after sleepovers, and during christmas time she starts making festive shapes

- ben gets really hype and starts giving her new ideas, like mixing in red and green food coloring

- bill’s bike gets fucked up in the snow quite a few times which gives mike a good excuse to stay over and help fix silver and also hang out with his best fucking friend

- their post-christmas parties are always when parents are out doing after-christmas shopping and last minute family visits so they’re usually unattended

- when they’re seniors richie brings spiked egg nog and they all get trashed in bill’s garage

- christmas crackers with the paper crowns inside (don’t think about how cute richie thinks eddie is in his paper crown)

- everyone gets each other presents bc what kind of friends don’t get each and every one of their pals a damn present

- some of them can’t really afford to go out and buy too many things, but they all regift well (bill’s extended family don’t know him too well so they usually give him random crap, but sometimes he gets something that he thinks his friend will love and saves it for their party)

- bev makes handmade jewelry for the boys every year (they’re all decked out in woven bracelets that will last till they die)

- we’ve already talked about bens cds but i just wanna mention them again bc ben makes the best cds fight me

- mike usually puts together a basket of homemade things from the farm for each of them (bread he baked, jam his grandmother made, wool socks)

- eddie usually gets to shop with his allowance so he gets them each something practical but special

- richie usually doesn’t have any money to get gifts with but he always makes sure to make them all super heartfelt & hilarious cards (which include horrible puns, terrible drawings, and sappy as hell love notes) 

- bill usually regifts or buys them nice things he finds at the mall. honestly psychic with gifts. inventor of the phrase “i saw this and thought of you”

- stan always gets them books. the first party they had he had no idea what to get them because he didn’t know everyone perfectly, so he gave them all old books from his library. they actually played well so every year since he scours used book stores year round to find the perfect book to give

- sometimes they’re joke books (he once gave richie an entire yiddish dictionary because he was being a dick about potato pancakes. richie still uses it regularly)

- speaking of joke gifts, you bet these mother fuckers do a white elephant every year

- bill usually plays nice and puts a good present in, knowing everyone else is going to be savage as fuck

- ben is sometimes kind with his too, putting in something benign like a five dollar bill in a really oversized box. sure it’s a dick to open, but at least he didn’t put underwear in it like richie did one year

- bev and richie are the meanest when it comes to white elephant presents

- like whoever goes the first few rounds avoids the packages richie and bev put in like the plague

- eddie tries to be devious but is actually really bad at coming up with clever shitty presents 

- mike and stan are the kings of putting in the most random crap

- like honestly stan just saves weird shit from his room purges and uses that to confuse the rest of the group

- mike is always a really good sport about getting the crappy presents

- eddie is not

- especially if he gets stuck with whatever richie put in

- “RICHIE I SWEAR TO GOD IF I GET STUCK WITH YOUR USED DEODORANT AGAIN THIS YEAR-”

- “eds, you can’t get gifted something you already have! it’s my toothbrush this time!”

- “e-e-eddie! quit throwing sh-shoes in my house!!”

- ben and bev falling asleep on bills couch at the end of the night in coordinating christmas sweaters bev found

- each of the couples getting each other a small extra present bc they’re in Love

- all of them feeling bad about mike being ‘left out’ so they get him something too

-so mike ends up with dozens of presents at the end of the night and extreme confusion

-but man is he feeling the love

- richie having mistletoe on a stick and holding it over eddies head about every fifteen minutes

- “oh shit eds! we’re under it again! how does this keep happening?!”

- “richie. you’re controlling it.”

- “oh no im sorry i cant hear you over the sound of me being compelled by this unbreakable christmas law”

-”riCHARD”

- bill warning all his friends to avoid his mothers terrible fruitcake

- stan eating it and loving it anyways

- “y-you can eat her f-f-fruitcake without barfing? i kn-knew we were meant to b-b-be”

- the losers at christmas ok

[resurrecticn-a]

grrlpower comic sentence starters 2 / ??

a list of sentence starters compiled of quotes from the webcomic grrlpower. taken from strips jan 3rd to july 4th. feel free to change pronouns or anything else to fit your muse better.

“ are you telling her about the tape recorder? ” “ ugh, worst. christmas. present. ever. ” “ should i ring that one up for you? ” “ hey! that ones mine! ” “ what's with the poster tube? is that like a purse or something? ” “ i'm curious what the answer will be this time. ” “ what? she hasn't told you either? ” “ oh she's told me lots of things... ” “ it’s my fathers ashes. ” “ he's still alive.. ” “ well that's just weird. ” “ a dialysis machine? it's not plugged into you. ” “ it runs on batteries! ” “ is it supposed to be? ” “ you'd know that if you weren't lying! ” “ i have to go to the restroom! ” “ just promise me it's not something dangerous or illegal. ” “ i honestly don't know.... on either count. ” “ i mean.. i'm reasonably sure there's no danger? ” “ if you're going out for lunch then take the deposit to the bank. ” “ thanks ___, i've got it under control...... maybe. ” “ WHAT WAS THAT? ” “ SEE YOU IN AN HOUR! ” “ you're on my list! do you hear me?! ” “ the safety of many made shade! eat it nature! ” “ have you forgotten the list already?? ” “ don't you mean a white person five star? ” “ i don't want to put that little girl in the hospital. ” “ excellent customer service requires sacrifice... of the kitchen staff. ” “ hmm, not bad. could stand to have a little more kick though. ” “ ooh legal warnings! ” “ that girl is definitely some kind of freak. ” “ i've just about had it with you today! ” “ LOOK OUT! SATAN! ” “ that's the second ‘lookout satan’ we've fallen for this month. ” “ and one ‘hey isn't that the pope?’ ” “ whats going on, are they filming a movie or something. ” “ i think its one of those super types. ” “ that's just an internet hoax. there's no such thing. ” “ don't they need permission if they're filming? ” “ everything in a bank gets filmed anyway, maybe shes security? ” “ i’ll do it! ” “ don't worry, everyone will be okay. even those of us standing under an armed gunman. ” “ hah hah, fucking magnets. how do they even work am i right? ” “ i mean, oh my god! bad guys! kill them with your... gold beams? ” “ you need help with that little girl there buddy? ” “ fuck off i got this, her punches are like butterfly farts. ” “ not the eyes! ” “ wow i'm impressed, i have to say, ive seen a lot of crazy crap in my day. ” “ okay kid, he's down, geeze. ” “ son of an eel waxer your face is hard! ” “ i was going to say, nice throw, but tactically a poor choice. ” “ you didn't clear his gun. ” “ and also while you were a hostage, his buddy there probably wasn’t going to shoot you. ” “ are you bullet proof? ” “ really? felony bank robbery not enough? you gotta go for attempted murder too? ” “ stay down. ” “ assuming that didn't kill you, so hard to tell with you mushy humans. ” “ not the boots! ”

[mewts-guide]

Insight: Mewt Keys- Happiness EP.01

Well, shit… I just want to talk, so I’m just going to talk.

I don’t have anyone at the moment to talk to, so i’ll just type it out and post it and see what happens from there.

I don’t remember the exact day or time or what, all the important things are missing from my memory.  Sorry.

Ive been working on a string of songs lately and this has got me thinking about what I actually want to convey with this pseudo album. I say pseudo album because I’m starting to think that working on albums right now, in my current condition and un popularity in the music scene, would not benefit me. I say this because it doesn’t do me any good to put all this work into albums when no one is listening to it. Doesn’t mean no one is ever going to listen to it, eventually (I hope) people will come around, but at this moment I need to focus on getting the people here.

So i’ll have this little piece of literature or whatever this is, to fill in the gaps where you can look into it and put two and two together pertaining to my music.

Let’s Talk about the first four songs ill be releasing ( have released??)

Most of these will be connected and have a story behind them and what that story really is.

Wrinkle In Time:

So, I started writing this song back in August 2019. I had just started getting into the synth wave thing and I’d say that I was fairly good at it but I wasn’t hitting it the way I was hitting house music. Theres another song that I started at this time and that song is “You” thats actually dubbed, “The Next Com Truise” because at the time that’s what I was shooting for and I never really listened to synth wave really aside from Com. So Com is the only artist I know that makes this kind of music. I know, I know… there’s tons of great synth wave artist. What I’m saying is, I only know Com Truise.

The only thing that stayed the same in Wrinkle is the beating pad that plays from start to finish of the track. Sounds almost like an oceans waves rushing up to shore and i like to think that the ocean is full of mysteries. 

The name came from Madeleine L’engles novel, “Wrinkle in Time.”

(Duhhh…)

But the reason why I chose this name is because of the actual story itself, not so much the story of the book but what it actually gets at. The ability to traverse time and space. There are a handful of books and movies i’d say that influence me to this degree and thats Interstellar (movie), Dark Matter by Blake Crouch and Wrinkle In Time, Timecop and this other movie where he kills people that were sent back in time from the future.( I honestly don’t remember the name of the movie.) The power to traverse space and time. The power that that gives you is insane when you really begin to think about it.

I often think about what i’d do if I could go back in time or travel to an alternate universe. Would you do things differently? I mean if you went back in time, we often don’t think that we could possibly relive our teens when we’re in our late 40’s. Let’s just say that if I traveled back to when I was fifteen, would I also be fifteen? This idea was planted in me after reading Dark Matter.

This is about going back in time to that day.

This is about going to a different dimension.

This is about the alternate universe.

This is about you.

The short vocal chops that drone on throughout the song constantly chant, “Not out there. Anywhere,” and, “She’s not out there. She’s not anywhere.”

The choice in these words was influenced by Blake Crouch’s Dark Matter being in that the main characters sets out to find his wife and son in an endless sea of universes, often times running into versions of his wife that never existed, never was and never will be. We see the character break and crumble after constant failure. I think this is what stuck out to me the most of this novel.

In L’Engle’s Wrinkle novel, this feeling was reinforced due to its similarities, but somewhat more fantasy based world had more of a lighthearted touch.

Im not sure but I think the book was for kids or young adults (I’m guessing that means Teens), so it doesn’t hit as hard as maybe it would possibly hit a kid. Also I’ve heard the movie sucked ass so I won’t be watching it at all.

The arppegiator that plays on the drop I built on serum and its called tesseract. Though you won’t know that unless you’re reading this. It’s you being taken to another time. it’s what traveling time might sound like.

The next songs are all that you might experience in your journeys.

You:

As mentioned above, You, is my introduction into the genre but I think is one of my more solid arranged tracks so far. I really didn’t have direction when I was working on these songs, I just want to make something a bit more playful and colorful than I had been doing with my House shit. The dubbed name of, “The Next Com Truise” came about because I actually thought this was going to make me stick out more in the music scene and somehow I’d be just a great or even better than Com Truise, which I think about now and have to disagree. Im even worried in the sense that people may think I’m just a rip off or copy cat version of him and his music, which scares me a bit because I do love his music but I don’t want to be considered a replica of something that is already great therefore would make me average or mediocre at best.

I want you to listen to my music and think, “This sounds familiar.” But stay because I’ve brought something to the table thats differed from other artist’s in the genre. If I have brought something different. I can’t be the judge of that.

I would consider this song to be sad but I’ve heard a lot of people just mention that the whole of these songs is just super chill and nothing too sad. I think at times, for the most part, people need to hear it through lyrics for sadness to translate well with the listener… Or maybe I just suck ass at translating that emotion through synths… I could be at blame here.

I wrote it to be a sad song.

I would say I’m generally a sad person. I don’t think it’s one of those things people do to be trendy or to have an excuse at being lazy or whatever the reasons are. I think I’m just a sad person. So when the name of the song is called, “You” I really mean me. I noticed I did this a lot throughout these group of songs, where I say you but I’m really talking about myself. I mean it in a way as in you as in me not you as in you, if that makes any sense. I hope I described that well enough for you to understand what I mean. I’m referring to the self.

There aren’t any lyrics to this song but I definitely play around with the idea. I wouldn’t mind adding some phrases or words into it, but I can never really catch on to anything. A part of me thinks maybe it’s because the song is done the way it is and it’s always been finished.

I guess…

Selver:

Im not going to spoil the whole story behind this one, so if you want to know, I suggest you go and read Ursula K. Le Guin’s novel, The Word For World Is Forest.

I had originally dubbed this track Outside, because the name fit but as I continued to write and work the track out, I was reminded of a forest and that forest was that of Selver’s home and planet. The version that was released, is different from what I had initially planned. Though I cant say which one I enjoyed more. If you do know of this novel or do read into it, let me know what you think. I’m always up for talking shop.

Maria:

This one I had named from the start and knew what I wanted to do with it from the beginning.

I wanted to talk about something that had been bothering me for a long time, but to be fair, I had also been asking for this to happen for a long time.

So i’ll get down to the core of the song instead of talking about exactly where this song came from instead.

I’ve often held on to the memory of less important things than those of importance, which is strange because you’d think a person would retain memories that made them happy rather than sad. I’m going on a whim here, I’m not sure if this is true, but at least in me I find that I hold on to memories that I find nostalgic, wether those be sad or happy and I’m not sure where this one sits, maybe somewhere in the middle. Importance usually has no play in if i remember or not.

Im trying to be honest with you guys, without exposing my true self to anyone who stops by and read this, whatever this is.

Im trying really hard to say goodbye to these memories and I think when I make songs like this I make it harder for myself to let go which drives me insane because I would love to just pour my heart and soul into this type of work, dust my hands off and move on to the next thing. But things don’t work that way with me.

With its chords and weird sounds constantly floating in and out, I tried to covey some sort of haze, like a dream. What inspired me to do this was a scene from Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, where Snake is inside the A.I. pod pulling memory board from the unit and with each pulled board, the voice of The Boss is rambling on and on about lazy foxes and Japanese train stations. Where this gets me more is towards the end where she begins to call to Snake as, “John”.

Her voice slowly deteriorating.

This leads me to where I am now.

I had a friend like that, at least I would like to think so.

The first words I added were, “Are you feeling down? Take a potion or two. You’ve been lost for a few.”

I added this because this friend to me was a helpful and in a way an oasis of peace with often words of advice and comfort.

I don’t think at any point of our friendship she took a selfish stance towards me for her own personal gain.

I thank you for that.

“On my way. . . Not today.”

A slow curve. This was caused by me.

There were plenty of times where I had failed to commit to my promises.

“It’s been a while. Hey, it’s been a while. The last time you were off to bed, I got lost on my way but now I’ve been found.”

It really has been a while. I think this song is important for two reasons, it’s been a long time and it’s time to say goodbye. I think, at some point people need to let go and move on. After a while, I think this type of mentality is unhealthy and somewhat creepy. Im not say this person and I were romantically interested in each other but I don’t think it makes a difference at this point. The way I see this, or the way I would like to think I wrote this is that I let this person down.

Me going, “off to bed,” symbolized me being unaware. Falling asleep. My way of dealing with problems in real life is often sleeping, and we all know that that doesn’t absolutely nothing to change our situation. It only postpones it.

“I got lost on my way but now I’ve been found.”

Though she never let me lose sight, I failed to help. Someone else helped her and it wasn’t me.

“Are you feeling down? Feet off the ground? Take a potion of two, you’ve been lost for a few.”

Of course this a personal attack on myself. When feeling down, I often lose myself in fantasy. In a make believe world. Im floating around on auto-pilot and i’m not really there at all.

Often fantasizing about things that make no sense or things that aren’t, I’m not saying I sit around all day thinking about women. I sit around all day failing to accept things for what they are, often blaming others or things but never myself.

At this point in the song, things take a more calm favor.

What Maria is saying is self explanatory.

A lot of outside influence worked their way into this song alone. I’d say that this song is by far my favorite and there’s reason behind it. For one, I’m being honest artistically here. Im not hiding so much behind songs like Selver and Lemon Tree or even Ub!K.

Songs like Goodbye From Famicom Sessions, Lighthearted Farewell and Cosmic Interlude played a role in the creation of this song.

I really wanted to tell you that this song, is about something real that happened to me and maybe you’ve been there, maybe you will be there or maybe you won’t ever experience what I’m talking about here but either way I just thought i’d share with you, whoever you are that’s reading this.

This year I plan to work on a lot more releases like this and giving little bits of insight. Im lining up the next set of four songs to be released. I plan to be more honest with my words.

It’s time to let go and say goodbye.