#expect more silly kirbys in the future

[joethesparkle]

i’ve been really into kirby lately

[nine-of-words]

Something Borrowed (Part Eight)

M Gargoyle x M Reader

PREVIOUS || STORY TAG || NEXT

Wordcount: 7843

Content Warnings: Discussion of a Breakup, Minor Knife Injury, Blood, Ophidiophobia, Non-Denominational Exorcism, Near Death Experience

Another update, another part that I let get out of hand on the wordcount. A slower part this time, at least up until the end. Just a few more parts to go now, and this story will actually be finished! :’)

The next week is, dare you say it, pleasant.

You don't want to jinx anything… but you think you might even be…

Happy?

It's a strange, foreign feeling, after spending so long licking your wounds and wallowing in your misery. It's just been so long since you've had hope for the future, that you almost forgot how light it felt. How good.

Sure, you're still cursed, but it seems trivial at this point. You've been talking to Carlyle every day like normal, and you even still saw him for his Tuesday work order, with seemingly no ill effects. 

You might as well be dating already, really. Maybe that defeats the purpose of not labeling it, to be thinking that way? But it's such a nice thought, you just can’t stop yourself.

You'd just… like to be able to actually call him your boyfriend soon…

You find yourself planning future dates in the back of your mind as you go through the motions of serving your line of midday Saturday customers.

As if summoned by the strength of your daydreaming, the man in question appears at the threshold of your shop with the tinny jingle of the bell, not even a full hour later.

He came to see you? You weren’t expecting him at all today, but it’s certainly a welcome surprise. You feel your skin flush slightly around your cheekbones and ears, your heartbeat picking up at the mere sight of him.

What really catches your eye is the change in his wardrobe. You’ve only ever seen him in- and technically out of- a suit so far. He's comparatively dressed down for the weekend in a pink polo and khakis, but still impeccably neat and put together. 

It’s a silly thing to get flustered over, you know it, but you catch yourself feeling giddy over seeing a new side of him. It’s amusing that even on a weekend, he’s still dressed like he’s going to walk into an office and not look out of place.

“I didn’t know you were planning on coming in today.” You beam at him when his position in line finally reaches the counter.

“Ah, I wish it was only for a social call. I’d love to spend the whole weekend with you if I could.” He sighs, the way his lips curl up at the edges making it clear he’s being genuine. “But I’m actually here on business, I suppose you could say. I wanted to make sure I said hi to you first, though. Seems rude to not.”

“...Hi.” You chuckle, nodding to his chest. “Some sort of business-casual business, it looks like?” 

“Yes. Am I underdressed for this fine establishment?”

“Lady’s name, no-” You almost purr, your voice dripping with affection. “You clean up so bloody well, even out of a suit. I don’t know what else I expected.”

“Hah, you really know how to make a guy feel handsome.”

You're cherishing the pleased look on Carlyle's face from the compliment, until the sound of a customer who's gotten into line behind your not-quite-boyfriend-yet discreetly clears their throat.

Time to stop flirting and get back to work.

“Anything I could get for you?”

“Mmm. The usual is always appreciated.” He nods towards the table you had your first real conversation at, months ago now. “But I can see you're busy, so take as long as you need. I'll be over there.”

You somehow manage to get back to work, though the distraction makes it difficult, with how often you sneak a glance over at him.

You’re struggling to focus on decorating a cake that’s due later today when another (not unwelcome) distraction appears.

“I’m heeeeeeere~!!!” Kirby waves at you with a wide grin, then turns their attention towards where Carlyle is seated. “Oh good- you’re here already!! Punctual.”

In an effort to get your case finally solved, Kirby has been coming into your shop on Saturdays as well, despite it technically being one of their days off.

Seeing that you’re busy with a line, and clearly having some other pressing business, they take a seat at the table with Carlyle instead of their currently occupied, normal spot at the counter.

You'd be lying if you said it didn't make you feel a bit left out.

Thankfully for you, your shop is small enough for the conversation to carry on its own. Not that you’re actively trying to eavesdrop- though, given Kirby's glaring lack of an inside voice, you can't imagine a scenario where you'd have any trouble hearing their side of the conversation regardless.

“If this curse presents so much like poltergeist activity, why not contact a witch for assistance? Assumingly they’d be able to perform an exorcism.”

“Geeeeeez, why didn’t I think of that??” The faun slaps their hand to their forehead with a completely dumbstruck look on their face. “Sorry I just finished my first training lesson yesterday, so I guess I don’t have the hang of all this magic stuff yet, haha!”

“I feel like you’re being disingenuous.” Carlyle smirks, faint enough that you wouldn’t have noticed if you haven’t pored over his face quite a bit so far.

“Of course I tried to get a witch in here! I do actually know what I’m doing, you know. There’s no Bureau-sanctioned Witch Inquisitors available for months for ‘non-essential’ cases. Supposedly exploding cakes aren’t considered, like, a meaningful enough threat??? Exploding. Cakes. SUPPOSEDLY.” Kirby pointedly rolls their eyes. “I can’t just mark this unresolved and move on! There is clearly something wrong here! And there’s just. No. Way. I’m gonna leave him out to dry like that!”

You have to admit, overhearing that puts an instant smile on your face. You consider yourself lucky to have been assigned someone so invested in solving your case, let alone one that has become such a good friend to you.

Carlyle hums in approval as well.

“But HQ is all the way up my ass about this now because of it! The max time estimate for this sort of case is a month! It's been four!"

"That's not that bad of a timeline, honestly-"

"Aaaaargh! You people are all the same!" They grasp their head in their hands in despair, smooshing their ears flat, curls trembling like quivering leaves.

"You people?" Carlyle scoffs incredulously.

"Yeah, buddy! Lawyers!! You say like, two whole sentences to a judge and then go on a three hour recess! Some magi have to do actual field work, y’know!"

“Right, right.” Carlyle chokes back a laugh behind a closed fist under the guise of clearing his throat. 

“When I say I’ve looked into everything I could think of, I mean everything. Investigated his ex- nothing. Mana type doesn’t match, and I pulled his bank statements and there’s no questionable activity that could be paying off a witch to do it. Unless he managed to SECRETLY pay someone with a wheelbarrow full of gold that never touched a bank; not him. Ex clients? I went back as far as his records went and then some! Nothing there either. And the exorcism potentially being faulty theory didn’t go anywhere either, all the paperwork’s there, even if the vibe in here is so off. I’m like, fully out of leads. It’s not a normal curse. I’m starting to think it’s not even a curse at all!! And it’s not a poltergeist- or a regular spirit, even- But it’s something. So what the hell is it?”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll come up with something.” Carlyle picks up another set of clipped papers from the table and starts skimming over them. “Two heads being better than one and all.”

Kirby simply groans, setting their forehead on the table with a dull thump.

It goes on like that for a while, with Carlyle reading in relative quiet aside from the odd question, which a deflated Kirby then answers.

“Well, you’re correct about it not seeming to be a normal curse, that much is certain. It could potentially be an unconventional sort of a geas- given the wording of the note it could constitute a very loose contract; But it’s unlikely if you have looked this far in and still haven’t found the source, even if you were looking for a curse at that point. …And I suppose we can’t completely rule out a poltergeist, either, until we get a witch in here. Even if the first ritual was performed correctly, there’s always the chance something changed.”

“Mhmm.”

“I know someone that can do an exorcism. I could call them, but they’re not exactly Bureau-affiliated. They have a license, of course- I suppose you could call them self-taught…”

“At this point I don’t care if their license is written in CRAYON, as long they’re legit!!”

The line is finally non-existent and the decorating is finished, so you swing by the table; sparkling juice for Kirby, coffee for Carlyle in his mug.

"Hey… How's it coming along?"

"Heeeeey." Kirby replies in a dull, muffled facsimile of their normal bright tone, forehead still planted against the tabletop.

"Oh, As well as it can be. Thanks for asking." Carlyle smiles at you warmly over the sheaf of papers he’s holding, loafered foot bobbing restlessly where it's crossed over his knee.

The papers he’s holding don’t even begin to account for the stacks in front of them, the entire tabletop covered with stacks of documents to the point you’re not even sure where you’re going to set down the beverages you’re holding.

“So, I take it the Bureau's taking volunteers now?”

“In an unofficial capacity.” Carlyle smirks and, mercifully seeing your predicament, starts carving out a space in the cluttered hoard of paper for the mug to go.

“I called him, I hope you don’t mind!!” Kirby chirps and finally lifts their head, looking a little brighter as they take their beverage. “I thought the extra help might be just what we need and he’s got just different enough of a specialty to offer some really good insight.”

“Good idea. I can’t think of two people I’d mind less digging around in my business.” You chuckle.

You take a seat and chat a little longer while you can, before a small end-of-day rush comes through and you’re once again forced to actually do your job.

Closing time comes and passes, and Kirby leaves for the night not longer after, with only Carlyle remaining in the front still poring over documents after close, with your blessing. You’re basically finished cleaning up the back for the night when you hear a knock of stone knuckles on the wooden door frame over the music you’ve been singing along to off-key.

Carlyle’s leaning slightly against the frame with a warm smile on his face. You didn’t even hear him walk up- you have to wonder how long he’s been there watching you work.

“I’ve been waiting to do this all day.” He gently grasps the back of your neck, pressing his lips to your smile and his waist to yours against the counter.

You feel much the same, but as you kiss him there’s a little prick of anxiety at the back of your mind and the faint weight on your chest is hard to ignore. But you find yourself sinking against his body regardless.

“Aah-” You barely get the words out when he trails across your cheek. ”Should we be doing this…?”

“Nothing’s happened yet, right?” The warm breath against your jaw makes it difficult to think about anything else.

The man has a point, and you steer his lips back to yours with renewed vigor.

Your head’s spinning in his heady familiar amber cologne and you’re losing track of time when  you’re rudely knocked out of your bliss by a sudden noise.

CLANK-

Carlyle lurches back, and then there’s a loud metallic clatter on the tile. Your eyes follow the movement, seeing the shiny silver blur of an overturned cooking pot on the floor.

“Blazes- Carlyle!” You push off of the counter and raise your hands, ready to help in whatever way you can. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah-  I must’ve caught that hanger with my horn, or something.” Carlyle winces sheepishly, rubbing the crown of his head and looking up at the metal overhead utensil hanger. 

“Do you need some ice? Or-”

“No. No real harm done.” He waves the thought off with his other hand.

“If you’re sure.” You furrow your brow, holding his hand when he lowers it.

“Mmh… It is getting late though, so I suppose that’s my cue to make myself scarce. I still have some documents to read to get up to speed with your case, anyway.”

He sighs, rubbing your palm with his thumb.

“Right…”

“Unless you want me to stay. You know all you have to do is say the word.”

“...No, as much as I’d like that, you probably shouldn’t. I have a lot of orders going out early tomorrow morning and I’ll be too distracted to sleep if you stay, I think.”

You smile as you see him out, but you can’t help but feel lonely when you go to bed by yourself that night.

You need this curse to be lifted, so you can really be together.

A few weekends into this new routine, Kirby shows up early on Saturday morning, within minutes of your switching the open sign on.

“Morning. You’re here early! Not that I mind.” You quip happily, finishing the icing job on the last cupcake from the current batch for the case.

“Yeah… Hahah… About that- Okay. Soooooo. Don’t be mad... But I have some bad news.”

“Bad news…?” You wipe your hands on your apron in more of a nervous fidget than anything. “...Cupcake level bad news?”

“Uh-huh. I didn’t want to break it to you over the phone, y’know?”

You fetch two cupcakes from the case- one of each of your preferred flavors. Sure, it’s before noon, but you think you’ll both need it, if the news is that dire.

“So, I just got out of a meeting with my boss and I’m… Sorta kinda…” They wince and twirl their lowest hanging curl around their finger, stalling. “Maybe… Officially no longer working on your case? Because it's closed?”

They then immediately shove their cupcake into their mouth, taking nearly an entire half of the baked good off in one stress-fueled bite.

“...What?” When you manage to break your stunned silence and plop down onto the stool behind you, your voice is barely more than a hoarse croak. You nearly drop your cupcake, instead deciding to set it back down on the wrapper, any appetite you had suddenly gone.

You can feel tears starting to prick at the back of your eyes, not just from sadness but the pure embarrassment of being this affected by this news. You manage to hold them back, barely, but it’s difficult.

But what are you going to do now? You’re simply doomed to stay cursed forever? Nothing you tried on your own fixed it, and now even the professionals are leaving you out to dry, too?

Just accept you’re unfixable?

Now, when you actually have something to lose again?

“Aw, don’t look so sad!! I… I kinda knew this was coming. I couldn’t convince my boss to keep it open any longer since the investigation wasn’t going anywhere- But I’m NOT giving up on you! I’m still going to work on your case on my off time! I’m not stopping until this is fixed, I promise!!”

“Are you… even allowed to do that?” You say, only a hair's breadth away from sniveling.

“Pfft, who cares?! What’re they gonna do, fire me for working MORE? For FREE??” They shake their head, laughing and shrugging. “Nope! I’m too valuable for that, trust me!”

Any signs of worry that were showing through the cracks when Kirby first came in have been immediately banished, but you’re familiar enough with them now to notice that they’re merely squashing them down to support you, rather than the doubt being completely gone on their end. 

“You don’t have to do that for me…” You laugh and wipe the corner of your eye, trying to maintain some of your composure. “I wouldn’t want you to overwork yourself because of me…”

“Haha- Yeah I do! That’s how this friendship thing works, if you’re not familiar! Sorry, not sorry.”

They’ve managed to cheer you up to the point of near-normalcy, distracting you with all the details of their most recent disastrous hookup, when your first real customer of the day comes in.

Devin walks in with her typical dreamy smile and if she notices the lingering vestiges of despair in the room, she’s acting blissfully unaware.

“Good morning!” She greets you as she approaches the counter, giving Kirby a friendly wave.

“Morning, Devin! Did you have an order in? I know you normally like to put it in beforehand, and I haven’t heard the order chime go off.” You double-check the datapad to confirm, but there’s nothing there.

She looks at you like a deer in headlights for a moment.

“...Oh, duh! I knew I forgot to do something before I walked here-” She exclaims, pulling out her device out of the pocket of her flowy, oversized, open-knit sweater. “I’ve got the list right here though. I don’t mind waiting.”

“Sure. It’s no problem.”

Luckily for you, after you’ve introduced them, Kirby manages to mostly keep her distracted while you package the order, in their typical social butterfly fashion.

“So I heard you’re getting married! That must be sooo exciting!!”

She goes on to talk about the wedding preparations, at great length and wandering detail.

“Oh- Oh- While I’m thinking about it! On your RSVP, you checked the +1 box, but you didn’t write a name down. I wanted to make sure I checked in so I can send the finished list to the calligrapher! I don’t want anyone to feel left out.”

“Sorry- it must've slipped my mind.” You try not to wince as you slide her order across the counter to her. You meant to ask Carlyle, who you’re beyond sure would escort you, but you’re too worried that would be too obviously dating for whatever arcane laws dole out curse-based punishments. “I’ll message it to you after work, if that’s okay?”

“Sure, that’s fine.” She gives you a wide, radiant grin, the pink boxes of cupcakes practically vibrating in her hands from the wiggling. “Ahhh, I’m so excited! It’s not far off now.”

“Nope. Looking forward to it!”

“Me too! You know, you’ve got such great taste, I can’t wait for you to see the flowers we picked. They’re like, the absolute cutest.” Her smile’s replaced with a look of shock, before she checks the time. “Oooh! Here I am gabbing when I’m already running late to set up this party!! Sorry, but I’ve gotta run. See you next time! Nice meeting you, Kirby!”

With that, she scurries out the door, as elegantly as one can scurry holding a box of cupcakes.

“That’s her?” Kirby slaps the countertop in disbelief, tilting their horns towards the door where she just exited..

“That’s her.” You confirm, a bemused smile settling on your lips. “But she’s my friend now, I think? So be nice.”

“I’m always nice! I mean- She’s very pretty and she seems sweet and all but SPIRITS, like-! Really? Your ex has a suuuuper specific type, huh???”

You snort.

“I’m. Just. Saying!! I’d be… very concerned… about mixing up names at the worst possible moment. Y’know?”

You can’t help but let out barely contained string laughs, finally covering your mouth with your hand.

“...You don’t think I’d look better with a septum piercing?”

“Oh honey, NO. No way- Absolutely not! Nothing against them but If you wanna rebel we can get you a different piercing that suits your whole look way better! Or maybe even a tattoo-” Kirby’s giggling transforms into an excited gasp. “We could get matching tattoos!”

“Absolutely! After the wedding, haha- Right now, I’ve gotta focus on what I’m going to do about my plus one situation…”

“Oh yeah? I figured with how well things are going with your dream man that wouldn’t even be a question.”

“Yeah. I want to ask him, but… the curse…? Wouldn’t that be defining things too much? It seems like dangerous territory, doesn’t it?”

“Hhhmm. If it was me, I’d ask him anyway, curse be damned. I’ve told you that from, like, the very beginning.” Kirby props their chin on their hand in thought. “But if you insist on being cautious, I can go with you instead, if you want. I just hate the idea of you having to sit through that alone!!”

“You would?”

“Yeah, of course!! We’ll go and quietly make fun of your ex all night, drinking elven wine on his parents’ tab!” They beam mischievously.

“That sounds like it might make it all bearable. Fun, even.”

“Doesn’t it???”

“Yes. But I do doubt your ability to do anything quietly.”

“Hehehe- You’re not wrong~”

You get back to work feeling a lot less anxious about attending this wedding. If you won’t be taking a date, at least you’ll be there with a friend in your corner.

Carlyle shows up not long after, and as usual, it’s like the weight of the world evaporates momentarily when you see him. This time he’s brought an overnight bag, because you’ve directly asked him to stay over tonight.

This particular Sunday is busy, but that’s expected. You do manage to get drinks out to your volunteer investigators, but you simply don’t have the time to sit and chat today. You’re relieved you already asked Carlyle to stay, at least- you’re sorely in need of some comfort and quality time after today’s blur of activity and emotional drain.

“Need any help?”

You smile at him from your place at the dish tank scrubbing a cake pan, reaching up to wipe your brow on the sleeve.

“No, I should be able to manage on my own. What did you have in mind for tonight?” You ask the gargoyle man as he approaches, trying to mask your weariness.

“Well, the plan was to make you dinner and then we can relax together, if that’s agreeable to you.” You feel his clawed hand gently press to your upper back in support, and you can’t help but cringe internally, knowing how damp with sweat your shirt surely is. “I hope you like pasta.”

“Oooh, that’s agreeable to me, alright. You don’t have any idea how agreeable that sounds.” 

“Hahah- I thought you might say that. I’m going to walk to the corner store for the ingredients. Would you like anything specific?”

“No. I should be done tidying up by the time you get back.” 

You shake your head and smile, then press a soft kiss to his lips. His hand squeezes the nape of your neck slightly before letting you go.

Conveniently, he's back right as you're finishing your last tasks- or at least the things you can't put off until you're back in the shop.

“Hmmm, it’s been too long since I’ve been up here.” Carlyle remarks happily as he follows you up the stairs to the living floor of your building, holding the brown paper bag of ingredients in one arm.

“I agree- Will you be okay on your own? I’m going to take a quick shower, if you don’t mind.”

“Go ahead. I’m not a professional, but I’m sure I can navigate around a kitchen.”

You rush a bit through your grooming routine, but instead of the usual stress relief, you can’t help but fret about your situation. Is inviting him over too much? He seems so confident that the full wrath of the curse isn’t going to be raining down on you from continuing on like you have, but you get a knot in your stomach every time you think about the potential negative repercussions.   

Somehow, you still manage to cleanse yourself of the day, if not your worry. 

Renewed dread begins to set in when you begin to rummage through your closet- you’ve been so busy lately and putting off laundry, that all of your clothes that would be acceptable for a casual evening-in are dirty. You consider just wearing your last set of work wear, but that seems uncomfortable. It’s still a bit early to fully kit out in sleepwear…

You can already smell aromatics cooking in the kitchen, so you don’t have much time to deliberate. You swallow your pride and regrettably pull a set of your silk pajamas on.

You walk out into the kitchen to the sound of a pan sizzling and the sink running.

To your relief, Carlyle’s face breaks into an expression of genuine appreciation rather than judgment about your choice in attire when he slightly turns towards you from his place at the sink.

Strangely, he keeps his hands under the water. The scent is a tell-tale acrid compared to before, so you assume that perhaps he needs a hand with the task load. You tilt your head in confusion as you approach, then peek into the pan on the cooktop, seeing that the contents have hopelessly scorched.

“Ah, I wouldn’t-” He abandons the sentence with a bemused sigh, seeing that you’re already picking up the handle and looking into the pan’s contents as you give it a shake. “I’m not usually this incompetent at cooking.”

The knife sits discarded on the cutting board at a haphazard angle. Next to it is a cluster of some sort of foreign object, and the knife has a similar looking coating on the edge. You squint slightly, trying to make out what it is.

It almost looks like tiny shards of glass- pink glass.

Trailing from the cutting board to the sink.

It takes a moment to click in your mind, but when it does, it hits you like a truck. You’re looking at Carlyle’s blood that has solidified into small, ragged gemstones the same color as his horns upon being exposed to the air.

An alarm bell goes off in your mind. You can recognize this now. After making a fool of yourself about his horns, you’ve made a point of reading up on gargoyles since.

“Oh! Carlyle, you’re hurt?!” You immediately remove the pan from the burner completely and turn off the heat, rushing to focus all your attention on him. “What happened?”

“My hand slipped- It’s only a cut. I’ll live, I promise.”

“Here- Let me see.” 

You find a clean hand towel. Once he's pulled his hand out of the stream of water, you dry his hand and inspect the damage. A short but deep cut has broken the skin between the base of his index finger and first knuckle. He winces as you put pressure on it to finish stymieing the bleeding. 

“How did that knife even cut through your stoneskin? It shouldn’t be that sharp…”

“No idea. But It's not that big of a deal, really.” He says, exasperated- but given the tone of his voice, you think he might actually be enjoying all the doting. “It’s not even that deep.”

You ignore his statement, continuing to fuss over him as you put the butterfly bandage on, even after confirming yourself that it’s only a minor injury.

“So. Takeout?” Carlyle smoothly suggests, patting down his dreadlocks while you kiss the bandage you’ve meticulously placed on his hand.

“You want to stick around after my curse almost chopped off your finger? You’re a mighty brave soul.”

“It’s not your fault. Accidents happen.” He shrugs. “Realistically, we don’t even know if it’s related…”

“...Yeah…” You agree, but you don’t believe it yourself. You’d be gnawing every fingernail you had down to nubs if you were alone right now.

His non-bandaged hand comes to rest on your jaw, gently tilting your head so your sightline is on him.

“I get the feeling you don’t believe me. That’s okay. But even if it’s the curse- I’m not afraid of it.”

Despite his reassurance, you can’t help but feel responsible. How can he be so confident in his safety when there’s this black cloud hanging over everything you touch? When it’s something that’s obviously- at least to you- threatening his wellbeing?

Maybe if you were present it wouldn’t have happened? 

…Though at this point, you’re starting to suspect it might’ve been worse if you were present.

You just hope if it is a side effect of your curse, and not your imagination, that nothing more serious happens.

About another week later, it’s a slow Sunday evening for your shop and it’s finally the day Carlyle’s witch contact is due to show up. It’s just after close and only you, Carlyle and Kirby are still lingering around the counter- waiting for this mystery woman who may or may not be able to provide some better insight about what’s afflicting you, even if it’s only by ruling out what it’s not.

Finally, a figure shows up on the other side of the shop window, testing the door before finding it unlocked and letting themself in. In walks a pink-skinned Elven cambion in a bell-sleeved black tea dress and heeled booties, complete with slouchy, pointed hat, and a near-bursting bag slung over her shoulder. The spade of her tail looks like a heart.

That’s a textbook witch, if you’ve ever seen one.

“Rosario.” Carlyle smirks at her playfully in greeting, confirming your suspicion. 

“Carlyle."

“Nice hat.” 

“Bureau typically doesn’t like it when you perform witchcraft on the public without the fitting uniform.” She frowns deeply, pointedly looking at Kirby. “So. Hat it is.”

“Well, at least someone besides Carlyle cares about regulations!” Kirby giggles, letting the potential slight glance right off them, and producing a business card that they hand to her. “Kirby. Cursebreaker. Bureau apologist.”

She takes the card and her nose scrunches up in disdain.

“You’re not going to be insufferable about this, are you?”

“Hhmmmm. That compleeeeetely depends on what you define as insufferable!” They grin brightly, and with their tone you wouldn’t be surprised if you saw them start batting their eyes next. “I’m here to support my friend. So, as long as your methods aren’t going to do harm and you don't do anything I'm like, super-duper mandated to report? Probably not. Though I've been told my voice can be very grating~!”

“Thank fuck.” She whips the witch hat off her head, leaving her crown-shaped horns and deep magenta braided-up hair uncovered, then shoving the offending black fabric into Carlyle’s hands.

“Right, I'm glad you've both decided to be adults about this and we’ve cleared that up before it could become an issue.” Carlyle nods in diplomatic approval, holding out a hand to direct Rosario's attention to you for a proper introduction, which he gives with such an unabashed tone of pride in his voice when he says your name that it makes your knees feel like they’re suddenly made of jelly. “This is your client for today.”

“Nice to meet you, Rosario.”

She hums in response, not even trying to hide the subtle pink glow in her eyes as she magically assesses you and the shop around you. Then, she gently brings her fingers to her brow in bewildered vexation.

“Well, if the horrible miasma permeating this whole place is any indication, I have a lot of work to do.”

“First, er… Would you like a cupcake?” You say, a bit more shakily than usual as you engage your typical ploy in endearing people to you upon first meeting.

“...Sure.”

She selects a blackout cupcake, which you have to admit, suits her whole aesthetic quite well.

She eats it in the most expressionless way you’ve ever seen a person eat a baked good in all the time you’ve been baking professionally. Thankfully Carlyle and Kirby are chatting in the background, otherwise the weight of the silence mixed with Rosario’s completely unmoved expression might make you actually go mad.

You briefly consider changing the name of the cupcake flavor she’s selected to ‘horrible miasma’, but ultimately decide against it.

“So, how do you and Carlyle know each other?” You crack under the pressure and attempt to make small talk.

Her eyes dart to Carlyle for a moment, but he’s caught up talking to Kirby about prepping the space for the ritual, and so she makes an executive decision on how to answer herself.

“Similar interests. Multiple.”

She does not elaborate.

“...Right. Thank you for coming, by the way, you’re really a lifesaver.” You move towards the till. “What do I owe you, by the way? Carlyle didn’t mention payment.”

“He already paid me. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ah, I was worried you’d say that.” You say sheepishly. “He’s so hard-headed. Here, I’ll pay you and you can refund him, maybe?”

“No- That’s not necessary.” She makes a noise in distaste. “Look. What he paid me with is intangible anyway. It wasn’t gold.”

You look at her quizzically. You’ve decided to let it go, but after she chews a bite of cupcake in thought, she seemingly decides to answer to dispel your curiosity.

“Furniture set.”

“Pardon?”

“He had a furniture set I wanted. A limited one that doesn’t get released anymore. The full set.”

For the first time since she’s set foot in your shop, Rosario almost seems vulnerable on this topic.

“Oh, the game he plays- You play it too?”

“...Game? Right. Yes. The game. Creature Crossroads. Do you play?”

“No, but I’m thinking about buying one of those little boxes so that Carlyle and I can play together.”

“Cute.”

As she finishes the treat up, you do see a faint smile form before it fades away just as fast. So, you’ll take that as a win.

“Thanks. Let’s get this show on the road, then. …No one’s afraid of snakes, right?”

You and your companions clear the counter, making space for Rosario to set down her bulging bag full of supplies. A pinkish-hued corn snake slithers out of her long sleeve. It doesn’t take long for it to slither up the guardrail of the stairs and out of sight. 

In a few minutes, a makeshift altar has been assembled on your shop’s counter, giving you a massive feeling of dissonance, even if it’s charming in its own way. Though, you could perhaps do without the carved animal bones…

Rosario draws a large chalk circle in the middle of the shop floor, punctuating the points of the star with different herbs, crystals, bones, and the like.

Your shop becomes a stage for Rosario methodically going through the steps of a smoky ritual- resin incense burning in a wide, flat ceramic holder in one hand; a dark, shiny blade being sliced through the air in succinct movements in the other. She stops every few steps, clearly severing things you can’t see. She occasionally says something in a firmly projected voice, in a language you don’t know, but sounds sort of like Elvish- not quite though.

Carlyle and Kirby assist within their ability, which mostly involves holding things or moving things, or pointing out areas that are still problems. It’s a painstaking process, and you simply try to stay out of the way while they work.

Magic is such a foreign and slightly intimidating thing for you, being something you don’t have the capability to fully experience. You didn’t even know more magic users than the fingers on one of your hands before you left your home village. Queen’s Isle isn’t known for its plentiful abundance of the magically adept, after all.

Despite that, you find that it has quite a lot of beauty to it. It’s hard not to appreciate the process like you do baking, or any other creative method that still has its rules.

Rosario starts from the top floor and meticulously covers the perimeter of every room, until she’s back at the shop’s front door nearly a full 40 minutes later, assumingly escorting the last of the negative energy out.

“Good news and bad news.” She says in her flat tone, pushing her thick-framed glasses up the bridge of her nose as she brings her equipment back to the counter. “Which do you want first?”

“I think I could use some hope first.” You decide quickly and reply.

“Your problem does seem to be spiritual in nature. And your shop is cleansed. For now.”

“And the bad news…?”

“It’s not going to stay that way as long as you’re here.” Her familiar returns to her, slithering off one of the shelves and onto her arm, where she strokes the snake’s head. “Because it’s not just on you. Whatever it is, it’s weird, and it’s coming from you.”

“But like, how is that even possible, though? He’s a numan. It’s not like he could be a budding sorcerer!!”

“And he’s not shown any signs of possession, either…” Carlyle adds, holding his chin in thought. “I’m not an expert, but if this were a typical possession, you’d think one of us would’ve at least observed the offending spirit by now.”

“Honestly? No clue. Never seen anything quite like it on a blank. But if the source isn’t removed from his person, it’s only going to keep building back up.”

“What does that entail, exactly?” You ask weakly, already feeling a little overwhelmed.

“Personal Exorcism. I can do that too, if you want. But FYI, it’s not what I’d call a pleasant experience. Extra bad if it’s a demon. And you’ll have to be restrained, in case whatever it is tries to take over and cause issues.”

“...Will it hurt?”

“It’s not supposed to. Not corporeal pain, at least.”

Somehow, that does not make you feel better. 

But you keep the thought to yourself, instead glancing at Carlyle and then Kirby, seeking reassurance.

“It’s worth a shot. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Yeah! And we’ll be here with you the whoooooole time. Nothing’s gonna hurt you with us here~!”

“Then yes, let’s. I just want this curse gone.” You say, letting out a long breath and harnessing the resolve while you have it.

Rosario nods, and begins renewed preparations by touching up the large chalk circle on the floor in fresh lines, while Carlyle and Kirby find one of the only chairs in the shop that has arm rests and bring it out to the middle of the tile floor, inside the circle.

You enter the chalk circle with Rosario and sit down in the now suddenly ominous chair, your stomach already fittingly tying itself in knots from the building nerves.

You watch intently as Rosario’s hands firmly knot the manila fiber rope around your wrist and to the armrest, one after the other. You can’t see it, obviously, but there’s something else there. You can feel a tingle pricking your skin as her magic is undoubtedly imbued into the material.

Kirby discreetly feels the newly-enchanted rope with their fingertips, and you can see their eyes glow slightly. They’re checking behind her magic, you realize, when the glow dissipates as quickly as it appeared, and they wink at you knowingly.

“Looks good!” They say to Rosario in glowing approval as they leave the circle and head to a safe spot by the counter. “You really know what you’re doing!!”

She simply scoffs in response, stepping away to gather the rest of her tools from the counter and leaving room for Carlyle to step in.

“Not exactly my personal taste…” Carlyle smiles, speaking softly enough only you can hear and clearly trying to break some of the tension by making light of the situation. He tries the rope at your wrist, making sure it’s not too tight. “But I suppose I can still appreciate it.”

It works, and you snort out a laugh, unable to muffle the unflattering noise with your hands incapacitated.

He squeezes your shoulder and leans over to press a kiss to the crown of your head. Then he moves over to join Kirby where they’re standing nearby.

Then it’s just you and Rosario in the circle; you, seated and bound; and her standing in front of you with the dagger that at this point you surmise to be her focus in one hand, and her snake familiar in the other.

Then she starts speaking again, just as firmly and in the same commanding tone as when she was cleansing the space..

It’s a small thing, at first.

Barely a small buzzing in the back of your head. 

But it quickly grows into an almost unbearable roar. You screw your face up, turn your shoulders in- anything to try to protect yourself from that horrible rumbling sensation.

An impossible wind picks up in your closed shop, whipping through your hair and buffeting against your face.

But you can’t, because it’s coming from inside. 

Even lacking a sense for magic, you can feel the bolts of energy crackle in the air around you.

They were right. It doesn’t hurt, exactly.

But it is a deeply unpleasant sensation.

It feels like something’s being ripped out of you, from the inside. Like velcro being slowly and forcefully parted. That familiar weight in your chest, pressing at your rib cage as it’s pulled from you like a magnet’s on the other side.

Everything’s shaking- the stools at the counter vibrating across the floor, the dishes on the shelves rattling against the secured doors. Even the light fixtures are swaying back and forth, the lights themselves beginning to flicker.

You can barely hear it at first over the sound of arcane activity all around you and Rosario’s frankly booming voice, but somewhere in the maelstrom there’s the piercing sound of metal whining. You’d be plugging your ears if you could, instead grinding your molars at the noise.

Even you can feel it now; the threads holding whatever it is in your chest are starting to fray. All that accumulated magical tension in the air nears its breaking point.

Rosario’s chanting reaches a fever pitch.

Just a little farther. It’ll be over. If you can stand just a bit more-

The rest happens so fast.

A groan of thick metal bending, then a loud-

SNAP-

Your eyes snap open and there’s a blur in the corner of your vision, something of considerable weight falling at speed off to the side, then the sound of glass shattering and metal crunching against the tile.

KKRRRSHH-

Rosario immediately falls silent, and the wind and buzz dies down immediately.

You’re stunned still, but it’s clear what has happened when your brain catches up. 

One of the massive overhead industrial lights hanging from your shop's ceiling has fallen, specifically where Carlyle was standing mere moments ago.

You can see Kirby now, unhurt- they’re scrambling to their hooves where they dove out of the way.

…But not Carlyle. He’s nowhere to be seen.

A sense of panic fills you, crushing your heart in a vice grip. The only thing that matters to you is laying eyes on him.

“CARLYLE!!” You all but screech, violently and unthinkingly tugging at the rope, not even noticing the physical discomfort in your desperation to get to him. You’ll gnaw the ropes off yourself with your teeth, if you have to. “L-Let me out!”

Rosario comes to your aid, her expression grim.

“Fuck-” She gets one of your wrists free, then struggles with your bindings while you try to wriggle out of them in a panic. “Hold still, dammit! You’re going to hurt yourself- Ggh-” 

Rosario finally manages to get the blade between the rope and your skin, to slice you free. You spring out of the chair and push past her (as politely as possible given the circumstances). The chair overturns and clatters against the floor behind you moments later. Glass shrapnel crunches under your shoes as you run over, but you don’t care.

You reach them just in time to see Carlyle wincing on the floor flat on his back, where he's barely cleared the path of the broken light. His clothes are crumpled, covered with ceiling dust and tiny shards of glass, and one of his horn caps swivels loosely on its base.

Kirby holds Carlyle by the elbow, helping him get to his feet.

Unharmed.

“Good, you're okay too!!” Kirby says. They have a small, superficial cut dotting a line of blood droplets on their forehead, no doubt from the flying shrapnel. 

He’s okay. He’s okay. Thank the Lady.

You immediately feel yourself release the breath you’ve been holding, and throw yourself into his arms. You squeeze him so tightly you might bruise yourself against the rigid nature of his body, but you don’t mind. You barely manage to keep from sobbing into his chest, instead grasping the sides of his jaw and peppering kisses onto his face.

“What a fucking mess.” Rosario gripes, rubbing her forehead, her makeup beginning to run at the outer corners of her eyes from sweat.

“Hahah- You can say that again!” Kirby grins at her, but it just makes her grimace harder. There’s a small tremor in their voice despite their calm facade, and they’re probably not fully experiencing the feelings from the event quite yet.

“Ugh. Come here. I have bandaids and disinfectant in my kit.” She says, motioning to her forehead. Kirby then touches their own forehead quickly, smearing the minuscule amount of blood in a streak. “Ugh.”

Rosario and Kirby's conversation continues as they approach the counter and start discussing how to proceed, leaving you to look over Carlyle more closely now that you’ve released him from your vice grip.

He’s screwing his horn cap back on straight by feel, smiling like nothing even happened.

“You did well- kept it together beautifully.” Your eyes meet his. They're warm with affection, even when you can see a few new light scratches gouged into the stone material of his face. “Even if the results weren’t what we hoped.”

Your affliction almost just got him killed.

And yet, he still seems so pleased with you, all the same- Looking at you adoringly like this- Praising you, even!

Such a wonderful, kind person, potentially snuffed from the world just like that, in a freak accident that didn’t even need to happen.

And it would've been your fault.

…The thought makes you sick to your stomach.

“I can't keep doing this- This was too big to brush off-” You blurt out and shake your head wildly, your hands coming to rest on the shoulders of his button up. “I can't let you get hurt because of me!”

“But I’m not hurt. I'm fine.” He says in a soothing voice, squeezing the fingers on one of your hands in an attempt to comfort you. “It's okay.”

“It’s not okay!”

The welling tears threatening to spill over finally breach. Shaking, you force yourself to say what you're thinking before you talk yourself out of it.

You can't be the reason he gets hurt, or worse.

Your tone is deathly serious even as you struggle to choke out the words.

“Carlyle- We can't see each other anymore.”

>> ✨ MASTERLIST >> ☕ KO-FI

[purble-gaymer]

mmm just wanted to say that i really love your writing and i'm really excited to see what you make in the future! your gsa stuff is so pleasant and angsty and i've really been enjoying wwtmk <3 that's not even getting into how much i liked the cannibalism fic.... now you'll be a part of me forever !! i'm such a sucker for that kind of thing.

actually, i was kind of wondering what you were plotting for the future so i could look forward to it! i've loved following your work so farrrr

waa hello thank you!! yknow i don't hear much about the beast in the walls but i really love that one so good to know! i can share some of my prospective calendar (though everything i say is subject to change)

once wwtmk is done, i probably won't be posting much for a bit. i might do something sword/blade/mk related for valentine's day if i can think of an idea before then. after that though, i have another little project focused on the knights at the time they first met. it's a continuation of a fateful encounter. at the moment it's sitting at about 23k, and i think i'm a little past halfway through it. ideally i'll start publishing it sometime in late february or march, but winter is usually the busiest and most stressful term so it'll be later rather than sooner. plus i'd like to have a majority of it written out first. i don't exactly have a surplus of time or energy this time of year so it'll be a while still.

most ship content will probably end up on my other pseud for the foreseeable future (excluding the potential valentine's thing) to avoid like...cluttering things, i guess? so for that there's always more knights, maybe metamorpho in a normal context, maybe arthur/nonsurat for the two people who care because i love them a lot. oh and also falspar and dragato doing whatever the hell they're doing because i would die for them.

absolutely there will be more gsa one-shots. i've had some ideas floating around but no energy to really get into them. plus my usual strategy for the gsa is to sit down and write for three straight hours because they sort of automatically put me in a flow state, and i can't do that at school cause i have other things to do. there might be some stuff about their history. i don't really know where to begin with all that, plus there's ocs i'd have to deal with, so we'll see. galacta knight related stuff is also a possibility, especially more about him and mk when they were working for nme. check out how much galactadad angst i can make

overall this year i wanna write more out of my comfort zone honestly. writing things like the beast in the walls or know your place was weird but it was also really really fun. so if i ever jump on any out-there ideas, i might actually do something with them. OH THIS INCLUDES AN ARTHUR AND MK BEING FAMILY THING I'VE BEEN SITTING ON. i completely forgot about that. i should polish it up and publish it for my birthday because it is so self-indulgent and silly. so that is now happening next week. metamorphosed one-shot is also happening later this week (tomorrow or thursday) because i'm normal about that au.

so that's a lot, and most of it is very up in the air because i'm always doing things...but you can 100% expect more knights content in the near future. wwtmk is like standing on the edge of a canyon peeking into my kirby interpretations. i have to write or i will explode

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 09/04/2024

Sweatpants Select

Season 3 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips Volume A

Ripped by NutellaFrenchToast

As with any human, I have my biases. There's things I like more than others, games I'm more drawn to than others, music I'm more drawn to than others. A huge part of that bias is formed by nostalgia - and as explained back in Neon Wi​-​Fi, there are few games that I am as nostalgic for in terms of sheer vibes and atmosphere, than Mario Kart Wii. The "Glass Ocean" aesthetic the whole game is coated in, the menues, the UI, the sheen and bloom of the visuals: the sleek, clean beauty of the future...there are few games where I will listen to every rip of them, but Mario Kart Wii sits atop of that list, because its aesthetic has just enamored me so much. I watched Sweatpants Select immediately when it was uploaded back in 2018 as a result, and with the rip now sitting at 400 thousand views, its amazing to see that its not just me who truly clicks with the game's beauty.

That's of course not to say that Sweatpants Select is only good because its using Mario Kart Wii music - its an incredible rip because NutellaFrenchToast went whole hog in realizing its concept to the fullest, in a way that feels shockingly modern for a rip from six years ago. Yes, this is a hip-hop/rap music mashup, "rip-hop", in a similar vein to Chance's Return to Dreamland and kirby will never have drip *spits out cereal*, but you can immediately tell what sets this rip in particular apart from the rest. The two tracks, Main Menu from Mario Kart Wii and Sweatpants by Childish Gambino, are interwoven with one another in such a cool way - Sweatpants' vocals are complimented not just by Main Menu's melody, but by the repeating sounds of Mario fireballs and shouts from Toad, replicating pieces from the original track's beat. That's cool as shit on its own, of course, even as someone who hasn't listened much to Childish Gambino (take a shot) outside of SiIva, its incredible just how this mashup with those simple additions turns a chill menu theme into an outright banger - but there's yet more to come.

Because yes, this rip does the silly little trick that ALWAYS works for me - ESCALATION. A very cool trait with Mario Kart Wii's menues was how the music was dynamic per each section, as it added instruments to the track when selecting your character, then added yet more when selecting the racetrack itself - and Sweatpants Select synchronizes this trait with Sweatpants' beat drop as the chorus begins. "Are you eatin' tho?" is said with the entire rest of the backing silent, then it all returns at once with the menu music changed to the character select variant. It hits like CRAZY - rips like Door into a Hundred Summers have shown how effective it can be to change the backing VGM to rips like this, but to change the beat to more-dense variants like this is just as sick without losing any of the cohesion.

As a cherry on top of it all, of course, there's the car-starting joke, beautifully preserved from Sweatpants. Paired with the 3-2-1-GO countdown of a Mario Kart Wii race, Gambino sings about vroom-vrooming in his Fisker car, but pauses the music - and the entire rip by extension, including the added start-race sounds - to explain that his car actually doesn't make sounds when it starts up. After the track has already elevated itself twice over with the changes in backing VGM, this is just the perfect touch on top, a sign of just how closely NutellaFrenchToast understood each of the pieces they were working with so thoroughly. That proficiency was of course never something I doubted - Like the Legend of the Ho-Oh and especially We Are Number 4 (Golden) paint them as someone who understands detail like nothing else. Only here, Sweatpants Select applies that same level of care to a track I'm forever emotionally tied to as a Mario Kart Wii fan - creating a banger that exceeds my expectations on every front.

[zarathesilentgamer]

Top 6 Games I Played 2022

It was going to be a top 5 of the year but I knew I had to put Kena on the list as well.

6. Kena: Bridge of Spirits -

Kena is a fun, cute but at times powerfully sad game about helping troubled spirits move on and, trying to stop the growing threat spreading through the land. Highly recommend checking it out.

5. Wavetale -

An environmental message wrapped up in high intensity water surfing, like Jesus. If you were put off by Wavetale being on stadia, it has now come to steam and certain consoles with plans to expand it’s reach and honestly, it deserves to. Roughly 4 hours of game time, and I’m more than happy to replay this game again in the future.

4. Spyro The Dragon (Reignited Trilogy) -

With the exception of Tree Tops which can suck an egg, I adore Spyro The Dragon. While it wasn’t my first introduction to Spyro, (spyro: year of the dragon on the ps1) it’s always a pleasure to come back to and Toys For Bob did the purple dragon proud. More than worth your time and money.

3. Kirby and the Forgotten Lands -

Kirby and the Forgotten Lands was a much anticipated breath of fresh air for the Kirby franchise. And the first Kirby game I played and 100% everything. All the levels, all the Waddle Dees, all the collectables. This game is an adorable package of fun, cuteness and at times gripping action. If you haven’t already, check it out. I can easily see this becoming a nintendo classic.

2. Cult of the Lamb -

Cult of the Lamb is fun and reminds me of issac in it’s gameplay but I would say a bit more heavy feeling. Create a cult in the name of The One Who Waits and take on the 4 bishops of the old faith and fulfill your destiny. Or marry your favorite cultist and feed poop to your least favorite as a prank. Poop, marriage and sacrifice - Cult of the Lamb. No but is honesty, this game is so much silly fun (I must have played in at least 8+ time since digital release). But my main reason it’s not in my #1 spot is that bloody hammer. I can’t stand having to slowly slam it into vacant earth because in the time it took to swing it, the enemy had already moved. But honestly, that’s my only main issues, everything else solid gold.

1. Stray -

Stray is everything I was expecting and more. All I wanted was to play an adorable kitty trying to make their way home and I got that and an emotional knife to the ribs at the same time. Reuniting Doc and his son, rescuing Clementine and of course  B12 (Yes, I cried). I don’t go out of my way to buy physical copies of games but when I do it’s because the game did something for me that I can’t get from any other game. And Stray is easily one of those games for me. If you haven’t already, make sure Stray is on top of your to play pile.

[egg-emperor]

Been thinking about modern, Boom, and Casino AU Eggman being three dads raising Chao together and I really want to start to share some of my ideas so far right here 🥰

Casino AU Eggman's Chao garden designs are still a work in progress that I hope to describe in much more detail in a future post but basically, because of the sign indicating it in Unleashed during Skyscraper Scamper, there's a public Chao Garden in Empire City and it's where Casino Egg got his first Chao a few decades ago. Since then, he's made his own private gardens with the main two being at Empire City and the world's Vegas equivalent but he still occasionally visits the public ones to show off his Chao to others and lets them make friends, also because of his nostalgia for the public Empire City one. He's got other less significant areas of work around the world and travels for Chao races, so they also commonly get taken to many other public gardens and he may also have a couple of private ones in other places too. But those two are his main and biggest ones as the places he goes to most often.

Casino Egg is especially excited to show Boom Egg his Chao as no such creature exists in his world and he knows he has the shared interest of liking cute things. He keeps it a secret and only tells him he has a surprise. Boom Egg walks into his big beautiful private garden in Empire City to find a big shiny pink egg and wonders if it's a joke but Casino Egg tells him there's something very cute and fun inside and urges him to help it hatch because it's ready but needs a little nudge. He guides him to encourage it by rocking it gently while Modern watches and blurts out "You can just throw them at the wall to crack it open and they'll be fine." and Boom is like "WHAT why would I do that‽‽" and Casino Egg sighs "I told you not to bring that up. >:\" he knows modern prefers it as it's quicker and he knows it's safe but both Casino Egg and Boom wouldn't dare take such an approach lol

It hatches as a pink and white Chao that can become shiny as it evolves and they've always been Casino Egg's favorite type, as rare and expensive they are to obtain, especially for them to hatch that way instead of purely through evolving. Before Boom Egg even has any idea what it's supposed to be, it's love at first sight. How small it is, its cute round shape, stubby arms and legs, squishy marshmallow-like feeling to it, and the pretty color. He's so shocked and fascinated by this strange cute little thing that's unlike anything he's ever seen. He's even more delighted when Casino Egg whistles and all his other Chao that are also all pink, purple, and white come running in to surround him! Casino Egg tells him all their names: Strawberry, Donut, Gumdrop, Cane, Sugarplum, Amethyst, Cutie Pie, Jewel, Jelly Bean, Soda Pop, Cupcake, Kirby, and Candy Floss.

Casino Egg lets the other Chao greet their new brother and they huddle around him and cheer in their cute little voices. Casino Egg tells Boom that they should name this new extra special addition to the family Sugar Cube because it's his favorite special exclusive pet name to use for Boom Egg as his sugar and this is their new baby, so it's like he's a part of him! And when Casino Egg pulls closer in for a cuddle, lets him hold their new Chao, and gives him such a cute and silly but thoughtful and sentimental name, Boom Egg doesn't expect to suddenly feel emotional and for a moment he has to try his hardest not to cry. He's really glad his glasses hide the tears that are pricking at his eyes sjsfnsgsmgh He immediately very enthusiastically accepts the offer to join modern and Casino Egg in raising this new Chao and also joining in with caring for all the others too!

He's pleasantly surprised to find out how Casino Egg treats his Chao, he can tell right away that he cares deeply for them by the smile on his face when he lovingly strokes Sugar Cube's chin and pets him for the first time, making the heart appear above him. He immediately charms his way into this little Chao's heart just like he does with people! He offers Boom to have a go at it and he's a bit nervous about how he will react because he doesn't think he can have that same effect on anything but a heart immediately appears above Sugar Cube's head and he giggles cutely in reaction to being petted by him too and even nuzzles against his hand for more, making his heart burst with joy. Casino Egg notices he looks surprised and relieved so he says "Of course the little guy loves ya as much as I do, how could he not?" and Boom Egg is even more touched by it then!

He loves seeing more of Casino Egg's sweet side that he admires. How he spends the whole time with Chao in his hands and arms, climbing all him and trying to play with him. He pets them and snuggles them and Boom Egg can see his love and adoration for them in his eyes. Multiple Chao latch onto the legs of his pants and try to drag him off to do activities with them to no avail as he's way too big and heavy no matter how many of the little guys try to team up, but Casino Egg plays along and follows them while pretending to be shocked, laughing and saying they must be getting really strong like their daddies to be able to pull him. He's clearly used to it, so it tells Boom it must be a common thing and he's told to join so they can start to bond. Casino Egg also likes to watch them draw, play instruments, fly around, and swim in the pool and openly cheers and praises them a ton and Boom easily finds himself joining in with him and modern and has a blast.

The Chao like to sit inside the open part of Casino Egg's shirt that he leaves unbuttoned because his chest is warm and soft and hairy, it's very cozy for them. When a Chao snuggles up there, he turns to modern and Boom Egg and teases "Bet you wish you were this Chao right now" because he knows they love to be between his titties too. XD He likes how they make him desirable to other men but also how it can be a comfort thing for his Chao because it feels cozy and safe, so he lets them sit there and will walk around with them like that. It's also convenient for carrying them along with other ways they may climb him when his hands are occupied, though he does also have a type of wearable baby carrier type thing for them that he lets modern and Boom use too.

They wonder how his Chao don't appear too overfed considering his tendency to spoil people with money and anything else they want, plus he's the heaviest of the three because he loves to eat and spends a lot of money on food, so they're a bit surprised that it doesn't extend to his Chao. But it's because he doesn't have time to care for them by himself often as he's very busy and has to hire people to look after them for him most days. He does spoil them a bit too much with food when around them but the reason he doesn't accidentally overfeed them too much then is that he has so many Chao that he makes sure they all get some equally, plus he also likes to eat the Chao fruit like I headcanon modern too, especially because he likes fruit even more than him, so he eats more of the extra than he gives to them!

He likes to sit and eat with them, he doesn't do the best at teaching them to share as he certainly doesn't know how to do anything like that himself lol. But he is good at breaking up the fights they have over the fruit, he can easily finish it by putting a large bear paw of his between them and telling them to behave. Boom Eggman sees this is a problem for them though, so he tries to help them learn. The Chao look so cute and curious as they listen with their heads tilted to one side as he shows them how to be fair and share. They soon calm down and are sensible with each other as they finally succeed in sharing, Casino Egg is very thankful because he and modern were the last two that could've taught them and Boom is proud of himself for teaching them something so important that will forever be useful to them. He tells Casino Egg and modern to be careful not to influence them to steal from each other again. XD

Casino Egg is a very proud owner of his Chao for being so talented and smart because of the high-quality training and care he hires for them to happen at the pastel pink Kindergarten he had made for them. He has a huge play area made for them with a little slide and things for them to climb safely and tons of toys for them to play with, so they can have fun and be creative which helps even more with their development and it's how they're so highly evolved. He's clearly put tons of money into every aspect, showing how serious and passionate he is about what's best for his Chao. He's delighted to have another thing to put his money into and how it gets them everything they could ever want and need, making up for how he doesn't get to see them very often.

The difference between Casino Egg and modern is that he displays affection very differently. They're both cute with their handling of the Chao but Casino Egg is more the type to fuss and coo over the Chao and express affection very vocally, which isn't modern's style. But modern's quiet more reserved way of doing it and how he shows it through subtle but cute gestures instead, like this for example, is still just as cute and admirable to both Boom and Casino Egg. He makes a good third owner as the second most experienced with Chao, as he has his own separate ones in his own world that Casino Egg has helped him out with raising too.

At some point, the three Eggs get in the pool to hang out and swim with the Chao! They also want to teach Sugar Cube after getting him prepared. He looks a bit nervous at first and Boom knows what it's like to once be scared and unable, unlike modern and Casino Egg that has always known and enjoyed swimming, so he understands and helps him especially with that. He holds him so he feels safe while he watches modern and the other Chao give an example and he's very patient with him as he learns how to paddle, only letting go when he's sure he's got it and praising and encouraging every little bit he manages to do on his own. It keeps the little Chao motivated and puts a smile on his face that makes Boom Egg feel such joy.

Modern is the one that then teaches all of the Chao some of his skilled Olympics level swimming. Casino Egg can only do the basics, so he likes to just hang and mess around, play with the Chao in the water, and give them basic guidance if needed. He also unsurprisingly gets cheeky and comes up behind modern and Boom Egg to grab and squeeze their butts because you can't expect him to keep his hands to himself when he's with his two favorite boys shirtless and in shorts. They playfully slap his hands away and tell him to stop being a perv and remember this is about the Chao and he does but he can't help but get a liiittle distracted by them as usual lol

The Chao also like to do karate, which modern also teaches them as he's also the most knowledgeable of the three as he's done it in the Olympics. They also of course do a lot of racing and Boom Egg joins them in ruining to try to set a good example and help them improve even more and modern Egg tries for as long as he can too because he's also raced in the Olympics but he can only do it for so long with his weight and osteoarthritis. Casino Egg appreciates the help from both of them because it's one of the only things he can't teach them by himself at all, he always has to rely on the trainers he hires to teach them the best they can on their own. The money is well spent as they do a great job but it's even more special for them to improve more from two of their dads.

Casino Egg loves to watch modern and Boom Egg interact, teach, and bond with his Chao like this, he feels it brings them together even closer than before. He's had many boyfriends and is constantly involved with more but he's never shared moments like this with any of them because these two really are very special to him just like his Chao are. It shows them that they're worthy, very important to him, and fully trusted by him, as he wants them to be a part of his Chao's life as much as they can just like he tries to, despite how busy he always is and how modern and Boom Egg have to go back to their own worlds. But the Chao having three owners that give them lots of love all at once really makes up for any absence.

Casino Egg praises and thanks modern and Boom Egg tons for doing so well with them and says that he's feeling even more confident in his Chao taking part in more of the future special championship races, karate matches, and swimming events around the world where they can win huge medals and trophies and loads of money. He says that they should totally join him and his Chao at one of the many huge events around the world with him in the future!

After all that, the three are worn out so they sit and cuddle up and the Chao immediately flock to them as they don't want to part with them. Boom Egg can totally understand why the Chao love to hug modern and Casino Egg as they're so huge, soft, warm, and cuddly to them like they are to him but to an even bigger extreme. Boom thinks they won't like to cuddle with him because he doesn't have a big soft pillow-like tummy like them but plenty cling to him too, even Sugar Cube and he feels so loved. He loves how quickly they all accept him despite having two daddies already. Whether it's partially due to being used to it as they already know two or not, they can also sense a softness that modern or even Casino Egg doesn't have, as we see in the Boom show. Since Casino Egg and modern also interact with Sugar Cube he becomes a dark type but had it just been Boom alone, I feel he would've been a neutral.

Modern looks to see Boom with Chao hugging him and Sugar Cube in his arms, smirks at the cuteness, and whispers "Don't tell the other Ivo but I think you're Sugar Cube's favorite." and that makes Boom even happier.

They relax while the Chao cuddle, climb, and mess with them which they allow as long as they don't start pulling the mustaches but they do have to shake off a couple of the rascals at times. They like to play with modern and Casino Egg's hands and fingers as they're fascinated by their amazing size but they also nudge at Boom's smaller hands because they like to be petted by him. They're also mesmerized by Casino Egg's pretty and shiny jewelry and he lets them admire it, as long as they don't try to steal his expensive rings and watch or pull on his gold chain. They do try when they're feeling cheeky but for the most part, they just look at them and it's another good way to keep them occupied while he gets a chance to rest after all the activities.

The three Eggs eventually can't help but fall asleep in the cuddle pile of them and all their Chao so they take a nap. They later wake up to their sleeves being tugged by the Chao because they want to show them something. They're led to a big piece of paper that has a cute scribbly drawing of what they can still tell is supposed to be the three of them holding hands and every single Chao took turns to draw themselves alongside them! The three each react differently, modern chuckles and says it's cute while he gives them a thumbs up, Casino Egg totally gushes and tells them he's going to get it golden framed, and Boom leans down to scoop up armfuls of the Chao to hug as he tries not to cry and can't stop smiling. He feels so special and welcomed and like he really is the new third dad of the big family. 💕

Then Casino Egg finally says "I love our kids, the three of us are going to be the best dads together" a few happy tears accidentally escape Boom Egg at last at the thought of them being like a family. When they're about to leave, he jumps into Casino Egg's arms to squeeze him in a big hug and kisses him. He blushes hard as it takes him by surprise from how unexpected it was but he soon smiles wide because Boom really didn't expect him to be such a great father figure to anything and finds it really sweet and attractive. He's also delighted by the honor of raising what are pretty much now their kids. Modern teases "Hey what about me?" and joins in so they all hug and kiss!

Boom Egg is so happy when Casino Egg announces that it's completely decided that they're going to raise him together along with modern Egg because the three of them together are the best dads these Chao could ever have, proven by all that they did together that day. Boom feels so deeply honored to get to be a part of something so special, they feel like a family and he thought he'd never know what that felt like but it means the world to him that his dreams could come true. And having his two boyfriends that he loves so dearly in his life to share it with makes it even more special than anything he could've ever imagined! 🥰💜💖

[just-asks-and-beats]

Important:

To be honest, I’m not sure if I’ll ever get this blog off the ground again. I’d like to, but my interest in jsab has dwindled until it was gone. I don’t mean to let anyone down, but to those following this blog in the future, and to the current followers now, there might not be much left to this story. Maybe someday I’ll come back to it, I want to, I wanna keep it going, but I just don’t have the motivation. Thank you all so much for all your love and support, it really means a lot that some dumb little story about a game could reach so many people. I hope to see you all sometime in the future, but whether that’ll be in this blog or another is unknown. If you wish to see more content by me, my other blogs are:

@lemonstars8583 - main

@lemonstars-cat-blog - warrior cats sideblog

@sour-star-galaxy - kirby sideblog

@blixer-shoplifts - equally as dead jsab sideblog

Well, I’ll see you all later I guess! 

____________________________

All You Need to Know!

Hello! Welcome to this silly little ask blog following my own headcanons of what happened right after the corruption, as well as some backstories that’ll be sprinkled in here and there! I’m not entirely sure what information I should give, so expect this to be edited now and again with new things included. 

Asks:

Off!

Current Available Characters:

Lycan (He’s pretty much given up using the code name “Lichen” now lol)

Barracuda 

Current location:

The volcano

[fotiathymos]

No more being upset or sad guys! 

Have a list of...

What your favorite Promare character makes you as an item on the Kirby Café menu!! (tag your results and if you enjoyed it please!)

GALO - Kirby’s fluffy Pancakes !

You are the true star of the show! But everyone dismisses you as baby. You are truely good and kind and fluffy. Your interests are a big collection of things people pass off as silly. But they're the silly ones! You are made of all these things you love, all your strawberries and blueberries, you are so full of all that love. And thats so perfect for you. Others will try and take a pancake off your stack til you fall over into custard, trying to make you fit into what they need and expect of you. But you wouldn’t be you without all of your strawberries, all of your interests make you! Just like Galo you had to build yourself up as others continue to take from you, but you are making it through slowly but surely. Full of a burning soul that no one can put out! 

--

LIO - Metaknight’s Secret Night Parfait

You are mysteriously sweet. To everyone you are always needed. You have a hard time letting yourself need though. Bitter chocolate flows in you with all the ways you’ve been hurt as people take from you but nothing is given. But you can’t let that ruin any softness you hold for yourself! Your softness gets misunderstood as weakness to those who hurt you. That softness is actually your strength, strength in being proud to be who you are and proud to support others like you. You deserve soft serve ice cream for softly serving others kindness. And just like Lio, you need to reflect on yourself and have a good nights sleep. It’s okay to rest.

--

AINA - Invincible Candy Cupcake

Your character arc may have been stunted due to poor writing by the cismen in your life but you are invincible! You feel you are second best, a side character in your own life. Always undermined by someone who is doing far better then you ever could. But thats not true! For what others lack in, you succeed in many secret ways! You hold potential for great things and once you find your path in your story you’ll be amazing! You are just starting your character arc, friend! Aina didn’t need to prove herself to anyone to be amazing and loved, and neither do you!

--

IGNIS - King Dedede’s Ultra Satisfying Plate

You are a full course meal of power and protein! A huge support system for all those around you. You are strong and you know it! Those against you in life aren’t important to your story. They are so absorbed in their sense of power they think your existence and support to the underdogs is a nuisance. One day you'll face those against you in a head on car collision in an epic battle and you’ll come out just fine. As those who you supported will support you in those tricky tough times. Ignis was the strong and silent type and you admire that in him, without knowing that you also have that strength in yourself.

--

VARYS - Star Rod Cupcake

To others you may be passed off as unoriginal and boring. But what may look simple is actually super sweet inside! Hidden chocolate chips and some tasty tropical cream! You are surprisingly inspirational to some! But if only you could inspire yourself, you say. It takes time to look inside yourself to find those sweet chocolate chips. But you’ll get there, friend! I just know it! Varys wasn’t just an extra item to the story, without him there would truely feel like something good has gone missing and the same goes for you! You are full of stars!

--

LUCIA - Chef Kawasaki’s Cold Fruit Pasta with Carelessly Tossed-in Mango

You may seem small and a little weird but you are actually a mouthful of so many different tastes and textures! If people pass you over they are really missing out! Unfortunately rude people who are interested in the ‘weird and fascinating’ gravitate to you to examine and try and figure out all your ingredients. You can become quite cold to others for these reasons. But just like Lucia you can have a close knit group of friends who enjoy that you are you, for all your exciting unexpected flavors to just the simple pasta that makes you full.

--

GUEIRA - Orange Ocean Juice with Yogurt Mousse

You pack a punch despite looking so bright and cute! Passionate fruit with a tangy taste! You aren’t just a loud mouthed side character or side drink. You can be satisfying all on your own!. You’ve got what others find to be a sour side but its only because everyone steps all over you when you’re sweet! Just like Gueira you are truely loved by those around you who can’t get enough of both your sweet and sour.

--

MEIS - Fountain of Dreams Sparkling Cocktail (non-alcoholic)

You may have been reduced down to a side character or someone who lacks a sense of individuality to others. But that's just not true! You may seem like the plain and silent type to those who don’t get the chance to get to know you but you are really full of bubbles of joy and laughter. Very sweet and chill with a strong passion deep inside you that only those you love and trust can ever get a glimpse of. You love expressing yourself in methods some may not notice but the ones who matter to you will always notice your efforts. Meis seems quiet and ignored in the story but just like you gave Meis a chance to be truely loved, others will love you just as strongly.

--

THYMA - Maxim Tomato Cupcake

You are made of strength and cocoa! You restore others to full health but tend to lose your health by doing so. As someone who is always strong for others you forget your own weaknesses and never address them the ways you should. It’s about time you take a bite out of all the maxim tomatoes you grow for others! You are more then just a plot device to another's story, an aid to a future rescue. Made of some of the strongest raspberries and cocoa, you can be strong for yourself! You just need to accept that you do in fact matter in this world! Thyma would stay strong for you, you must stay strong for yourself as well!

[mariposalass]

To Rise Again

Summary: This wasn’t what Mari and her crazy bunch were expecting when they came to visit the Hamilton exhibit with a goal to temporarily bring life to the wax statues to have a talk with them; instead however, they just brought back one guy back from the dead. Let the madness begin.

Setting: The local Alexander Hamilton (more of the musical than the real life stuff) exhibit in a museum at Daly City, California, January 3, 2019

Notes: This is the story of how Mari and Philip met: permanently bringing him back from the dead thanks to Ahkmenrah’s magic tablet. Inspired by the Don’t Be Shocked When Your Hist’ry Book Mentions Me series in Archive of Our Own. It’s ‘future is shocking’ with a heavy dose of curiosity intrigues the cat. The cast used for this story and Mari’s world are the OG Broadway cast. I was listening to Evanescence’s Bring Me to Life (Synthesis version) while thinking of this story.

Tags: Mild language, future shock, fighting and arguments, the dead being revived to life again, life-bringing magic, mild revival angst, the future is shocking but interesting

“Is there any good reason why you had to smuggle in that tablet of yours for just an exhibit on one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America, huh, Ahk?” Mari questioned the forever youthful pharaoh’s sanity as he pulled out his magic tablet from his messenger bag in their group (which composed of them, Harry, Issa, Kirby, Kairi, and Karina)’s presence during a visit at the Alexander Hamilton exhibit featuring the wax statues of the people around the First Secretary of Treasury based on the original Hamilton Broadway cast on display in a local Daly City museum.

“Mari, I understand that you’re quite peeved on the fact I had to lunge this thing around to the exhibit for seemingly no good reason, but I thought it would be interesting to talk with the figures for just one day,” Ahk tried to explain his reasoning behind the tablet tagging along.

“Errr… Would that be considered necromancy?” Karina asked him out of concern with fear in the tone of her voice.

“Maybe Ahk is up to something: crazy but still a genius idea,” Issa tried her best to sound hopeful that Ahk knew what he’s doing, “After all, Harry accidentally returned him back to life with that tablet of his when we visited the other local museum years back.”

Ahkmenrah, the former Fourth King of the Fourth King, didn’t pay too much attention to the bickering the girls were having, just making sure that his tablet, the only thing he has left in his connection to his previous life in Egypt’s past, wouldn’t go missing from his sight. Harry should’ve kept his mouth shut about this portion when he nonchalantly mentioned the tablet incident of Ahk’s revival during the exhibit visit planning and he (Ahk) was like ‘Well, why not try it on the wax figures for one day there, Harry?’. Holy shit, the Boy Who Lived was in trouble for sure.

The wax figures in front of them were rendered so life-like as if the artist behind them was able to capture the old Broadway cast frozen at one moment in time. Even the costumes they wear for the exhibit could easily be mistaken for the ones used in the original production in New York City and straight from the 18th Century to the 19th Century; it was quite surreal for Mari, Harry, Kairi, Issa, and Kirby to see them face to face as they have seen the play before in their most recent trip to the Big Apple for the New Year celebrations. Mari though was more morbidly curious than she wanted to admit as she spotted one figure looking like they’ve seen something bad in their line of sight.

That one wax figure in particular catching Mari’s eyes was a young slender man, handsome and quite tall for his age: a head of untamed manly brown black curls, soulful hazel eyes, light brown skin (? Wasn’t the real life man he was based supposed to be white? Oh never mind!), and freckles on the face. Mari felt as if she was drawn to the figure, like a curious moth drawn to the flame and like fate, only weirder that she has fallen hard for a wax statue.

“Hello, Earth to Mari!” Kairi was calling out to her adopted older sister, waving her arms frantically, to snap her out of her trance.

“Huh, what, what?” she shook her head after realizing her sister was right beside her, taking part of looking at the wax man with her.

“It seems that this guy has caught your attention, huh?”she giggled.

“Geez, Kairi,” Mari shrugged, “I mean, this fellow looks freaking cute. Too bad he’s… dead!”

“Gushing over a dead man like him, aren’t you, Mari?” Issa asked her.

Mari blushed in embarrassment, not knowing what to do with her strange feelings and her attraction to the stranger while Kairi and Issa were left dumb-folded on the matter without a single response.

“Poyo, poyo!” Kirby chatted with the wax man, tugging onto the left leg of his white stockings to try to get his attention.

“Kirby, that guy’s already dead for more than 2 centuries already,” Mari told him, which made the poor puffball sad to hear the news as she continued on, “Death by gun shot wound at only 19 years old.”

“Ouch! RIP Wax Guy in period clothing Mari just had a crush on,” Kairi prayed in concern.

Kirby understandably wept for the poor young man’s soul, salted tears running down on his spherical body. Issa went up to pick Kirby up in her arms, consoling him as she said to him it wasn’t the man’s fault that his life ended that way. On the other side of the story, Harry and Ahkmenrah were talking about the problems and concerns arising if they try to bring life to the wax figures for one day which went downhill from there.

“I can’t believe that I dragged everyone into this mess today,” Harry grumbled in his breath, “Seriously: What kind of a stupid plan did I just randomly blurted out loud? This is bloody stupid: bringing dead people to life for just one day!”

“Calm down, Harry,” Ahk tried to console his friend’s dilemma for suggesting a silly plan, “It is just temporary. Once we leave the exhibit, they’ll resume back to their original positions and return back to their still wax state. It’s not like we’re performing a necromancer’s ritual.”

“Ahk, you got to be kidding, mate!” the British wizard sternly yelled at him, “How are we going to explain to the exhibit staff & organizers and the people running the place if at least one of them goes missing? You said if a museum exhibit was left outside when the sun rises up, they’ll be reduced to dust!”

“True, but I did made sure that this one attempt was just a one-off, I swear to the Gods, Harry,” the ex pharaoh countered the argument, “Who knows: maybe the Doctor could get the chance to hear them speak if he’s here with us now.”

“Oh, you idiot!!!” “Harry, please! Just trust me on this...” “Shut up, okay!” “But it won’t hurt anyone in the end...”

Everyone in the group soon turned their eyes at Ahk and Harry playing a rough tug-of-war with the former’s tablet, fearing that it could break at any given moment. Mari was scared to see one of her great friends and her older brother arguing over something petty like temporarily giving life to a group of life-like wax figures. It was so bad she couldn’t hold her tears in great distress.

Unbeknownst to everyone involved, things would get weirder from there: while arguing inaudibly over the whole plan, Harry and Ahk unwittingly messed with the symbols on the tablet and aimed at the young wax man Mari took a great interest in. The girls and Kirby were horrified that the poor young wax figure was in the line of the tablet’s aim and, in a bold noble effort, tried to stop the two men from creating further fuel to the figurative fire: yelling “Guys, stop it! Don’t break that tablet beyond its limits AND kill each other at the same time!”, “Kuya Harry, don’t punch Ahk for this!”, “Harry, Ahk, no!!!”, “Can you guys just stop fighting and get a grip on yourselves before some serious shit happens?!?”, and “Poyo, poyo! Popoyo, poyo, yop, yoyopo, POYO!!!”

Sadly, it was all for nothing: the wizard and the pharaoh unwittingly sent a blast of golden light, hitting the wax man on the chest and knocking him back onto the floor with a great big THUD! It was that very moment that Harry and Ahk realized their grave mistake: the wax man was now lying down on the platform on his back with an extremely blank look in his face, as he was a wax statue after all. Everyone who didn’t took a part of the mess were now staring at the two of them being mad at them for being a bunch of idiots fighting over one tablet of all things.

There was deafening silence among the group and wax figures in that one room: not a single word or sound was made, everything in awkward silence. But the silence would not last for long…

While the group were staring at each other out of confusion and anger, the next thing they heard is a groaning voice as roars of life were emanating from the golden glow from Ahk’s tablet that hit one of the wax statutes earlier during Harry and Ahk’s arguing. They froze for a moment, blank stares everywhere, and turned around to see a sight they never expected to see. The wax young man, or rather the previously wax young man, was now struggling to get up on his own two feet, still lying on his back similar to that of a turtle upside down on its shell, and his limbs wailing around faster than a speeding Japanese bullet train.

“Umm… Hello, if you don’t mind, I could use some assistance over here,” the man cried out, “Where in the world I am in?”

“Mother of God...” Issa gasped in horror, “That man needs some help here! We better help him out.”

“But wasn’t that supposed to be the wax-” Kairi was about to counter the situation but it was vain when Harry regained some senses.

“There is no time to explain it to him right now, Kai!” he lectured her immediately, “We should help this guy out first, then we can break the… unpleasant news to him later.”

“Poyo...” Kirby nervously squeaked, shaking in fear of the man’s bizarre awakening.

“Then we should start helping him in getting up from the platform, shall we?” Ahk nodded back.

It took a while for the humans to get the newly revived man up with around 2 boys and 4 girls involved, but they were able to get him up at last. They were tired but relieved that the man was able to stand up again, though questions were being to stir in their minds and worries were forming that they may have done something really terrible that very day.

“Alright, sir. Are you okay now?” Mari was at a loss of breath, sitting down on the stage platform, as she asked him how he was feeling after finally regaining his grip.

“A damned sight better, Madam,” he remarked as a response while brushing off dust from his outfit before continuing on with what else he was going to say, “Now how I can repay you lot back… Wait a minute, this isn’t the dueling grounds or Aunt Angelica and Uncle John’s house...”

“Oh God, if it ain’t Philip Hamilton himself!” Karina’s eyes widened in shock as memories of reading about the life of his famous father with everyone else flashed back in her mind.

“We knew it!” Issa shouted.

“By Merlin’s beard!” Harry freaked out with his jaws dropping to the ground.

Ahkmenrah, having been through the same thing as this Philip Hamilton (as the man is called), couldn’t help but to feel bad for him with being sent back to life and reality once again but in a more modern era, decided to approach him with caution and spoke on behalf of the bewildered group, “Well, pardon me, sir. What was the last thing you saw before… you just came back?”

Philip, whose facial expression now went from bewilderment to mourning, meekly replied back to the pharaoh’s question, “I… I was at Uncle John and Aunt Angelica’s house across the (Hudson) river… The doctor was there checking on my dire situation then...” He then pointed to the group at the direction of his right hip, “Good Lord, I’ve been shot! That Eacker fellow is going to be in trouble once I can find him again-”

“Whoa, whoa, back up a minute!” Karina busted his moment of rage, “What did that guy did to you that has made you wanting to gang up on him?”

That was when the younger Hamilton came to realize to see the group’s more contemporary appearance, quite unusual for his time in their clothing; never mind the fact that Ahk was holding onto the same golden tablet that brought both of them back from the dead. Was he in some sort of a time displacement?

Mari sighed, knowing that they can’t keep away the fact that he’s in the wrong century now, and came “Mr. Hamilton, I know we just met within a few minutes of your reawakening, but I feel we need to properly introduce ourselves. I’m Mari Tan, assistant librarian at the Daly City Public Library. The people and puffball with me are my friends and adopted siblings: Karina Lyle, Ahkmenrah, Harry Potter, Isabelle Miravelez, Kairi, and Kirby. I hate to break this to you, but you’ve been asleep for far too long until now.”

Philip was left even more confused than when he got revived, asking her again, “For how long?”

“It’s January 2019, in Daly City, California. I don’t think we’re even in New York anymore,” Harry stepped in, adding more surprise to the 19 year old man, greeting the British wizard with a dropped jaw of shock, to which he replied, “I could tell that even California as a state is foreign to you: back when you’re still alive in your original timeline, it was under Spanish rule before the Mexicans took over, followed by a brief moment of independence when the Americans came into town.”

“Welcome to the Golden State, you’re going to be in a really rough pickle now that everyone you know then is, well…, dead,” Kairi dropped another major info bombshell with equal parts of concern and uncertainty.

“Uh… Kairi, I don’t think you should drop that information…,” Issa tried to reprimand her in a stern manner.

“Do we need to also tell him that he’s the only wax statue revived to life with the others being-” Karina bombarded her with another question of concern, only to be cut off when they turned to see Philip noticing that the wax replicas of the many people he knew in his old life, such as his parents, weren’t moving or even revived like him.

Mari, her siblings and friends watched in sadness and pity as the poor man was trying to get the still statues’ attention and failing miserably, eventually sulking as he sat down on the podium stage where they were standing and shedding bitter salt-laced tears. Many versions of ‘Poor guy’ were murmured among the group.

This was not his day, and yet, Mari couldn’t help to feel bad that she then sat down beside him and began to carefully explained of what happened after his first death, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but shortly after you died the first time, your entire family wasn’t the same: your sister became mentally wrecked, your mom gave birth to a little brother and named him after you, your dad died on the same grounds you died on 3 years later, and your mom would outlive nearly everyone else upon dying at age 97. Please don’t get mad at me and my friends and siblings for just bringing you back life and not everyone else, we didn’t mean to cause you any grief because of it.”

Tears began to slowly gave up when he heard her speak and, while the words did made him feeling guilty for causing so much grief onto his family, she delivered them in a gentle tone with no ill will to ruin his mood or even his sanity. Harry then quietly approached Philip and continued what Mari said, “Yeah, it’s actually nearly 218 years since your ‘passing’, and everything did changed a lot. Trust me, if we get out of here sooner or later, you’re going to be in a big shock for your life, mate.”

“We better be going then,” Ahk informed everyone in the area, “We all don’t want to be locked in for the night nor do we want to get into trouble with people in this museum over with what happened today.”

“Ahk has a point,” Karina couldn’t agree more, “It’s getting late right now as well.”

“Well, if you say so, then we can all go out now,” he remarked, “Besides, it is true that I haven’t seen the outside world for that long. Although if I was presumed dead for the last 2 centuries, I highly doubt that I have any monetary funds or a place to stay in.”

“We have a house at the Westlake neighborhood,” Mari suggested to Philip with a beaming smile in her face, “The place is more known for its Mid-Century houses, though plenty of the other houses do range in style lately, including ours. You can stay with us, even Ahk lives with us since he didn’t have anyone else to run to when he got revived back to life. Then we try to get you a job some time after that can fit with your education credentials.”

“Mari has a point, Philip, son of Alexander,” the pharaoh pointed it out to him in a wise manner, “Perhaps, I could be of some assistance as well. I have went through nearly similar situations like you do now a few years ago, so I’m more than happy to give you some advice and help along the journey.”

“Also, we’ll introduce you to everyone else. Just imagine the response they’ll get from knowing that you’ve just been awaken again and they can also help you out,” Karina continued what her two friends left off.

“The Doctor is going to be so happy to hear about this,” Harry sarcastically whispered to Issa on the side.

“Definitely,” she agreed.

“Poyo,” Kirby sighed.

“I would be in your debt, everyone,” Philip replied back, “And should be so for a long while, I’m afraid. Though I have another question: would I get some unwanted attention in these clothes?”

“Nah, nobody wouldn’t care too much right now, but we should need to get out of here just to be safe,” Kairi reminded him as they began to leave the exhibit.

Once they managed to get out of the museum, Philip’s eyes widened up: not merely out of shock (although Mari admits that could be the case), but mostly in awe and curiosity with cars and buses running along the asphalt roads, people going about their normal days in modern clothing, and an assortment of buildings in various styles scattered across the city. If someone smart enough would have taken a note,  they would’ve been shocked by one man’s old-fashioned outfit, but since it’s nearing time for the rush hour leaving for home, nobody paid them and Philip any unwanted attention.

“Those unusual conveniences...” Philip gasped upon seeing the changed landscape, a far cry from what he was used to seeing in early 19th Century New York, while pointing at the moving vehicles in front of them.

“Horseless carriages if you could call them that,” Ahkmenrah informed him, “A majority of them are actually called cars. Quite convenient and swift, though they can cause more problems in plenty of places. But they’re easier to use than with chariots on the sands of Egypt though.”

“I must say, at least the streets here are cleaner,” he mused on and Ahk honestly knew that it was true.

“Well, Philip, you might need to get used to the pros and cons of living in the modern day city: city living can be stressful if you’re not ready to brace for the madness around it,” Issa reminded him gently ahead of time.

Just then, Mari’s smartphone began to buzz, startling the revived man a bit from the noise it was emitting as she pulled out her phone to check on her message inbox. However, he was also at the same time morbidly curious at the strange device she and, he assumed, nearly everyone but Kirby has in their possession.

“A message from Belle,” she reported to the bunch and their new friend, “She is coming over to our house with food delivery and Adam is coming along with her as well.”

“So… How does this thing work?” Philip inquisitively questioned her about the smartphone.

“Well, it’s quite complicated to describe how a smartphone works without sounding like a tech nerd,” Mari shrugged a bit before she continued on her lesson, “But it’s quite a marvel in communications, if you ask plenty of people that. Anyone can pick it up, send a call or text to anybody, surf the internet, or even do things like playing app games or reading e-books… It’s like an encyclopedia, a very small encyclopedia that is a jack of all trades.”

“An encyclopedia, isn’t it?” he couldn’t help but to smile a bit, before he thought about the reading part, “Did you mentioned about these e-books, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I sure did. That’s the wonders of modern technology these days,” she replied back, “Maybe I can recommend you something from this period or something? We can do that once we get back to the house tonight.”

“Why, yes. I don’t mind at all,” his grin grew wider as she responded, “I happen to work as an assistant librarian in the city, I can show you the city’s public library someday.”

“I would happily take that offer, madam,” Philip noted the last sentence, “When we can arrange that day out trip?”

“Oh God, he’s speaking her language of books already,” Karina gasped in shock upon hearing those words.

“Wait till Hermione hears about Philip and his bizarre day today: she’ll be so happy to hear about another person to geek out about books with 24/7,” Harry shrugged back.

“Brace for it, world, because Philip Hamilton has finally returned from the grave,” Issa muttered to herself, wondering how the world and the US will react about one of the children of the one of the American Founding Fathers has come back home after nearly 218 years of being dead.

The End

[thecheapsteaks]

VIDEO GAMES... 2018

2018 was a thing.  It felt like it lasted 2 or 3 years.  It is honestly a bit difficult to track which media I consumed during the year. I'll start pondering a game that I feel like I played last year only for it to dawn on me that, oh, it happened this year.  It makes keeping track of this stuff a bit tricky, honestly.  Anyway, I am still going to try to do that, to get my thoughts in order and let everyone see what I had in mind. I will go over all of the important things needed to survive:  video games, music, anime, and other things.

VIDEO GAMES

Again, it's a bit tricky to remember what even came the hell out this year game wise. I am not going to rank things, because I suck at ranking things and also comparing a lot of the things I played this year is like comparing apples and termites.  I'm just going to make a good effort to go over some nice highlights of the year.

Bayonetta 1 and 2

Bayonetta is a game series I have been interesting in playing forever, but just haven't gotten around to due to circumstances despite it being released on multiple systems I owned.  I passed it on the PS3, couldn't afford to buy it when it was out on the WiiU, so when it came out on the Switch I had to give it a shot, and it was worth it. Admittedly, I sort of sucked at it (I take a ton of damage playing games, which isn't the best for getting high ranks) but I still enjoyed it and am glad that I played both of them (except for that one part in the first game in the angel territory where you fight those thunder and fire claw dudes who are immune to witch time, they can eat my ass).  The characters are fun, the over the top action and enemies are neat, and Bayonetta is just too damn cool.  I'm definitely interested in the third one and looking forward to seeing where the sequel goes. 

(I had forgotten this game had came out this year, it was in February, goddamn how long was this year)

Kirby Star Allies

I will admit, I am heavily biased towards Kirby to a fault.  If a Kirby game makes a reference to a past Kirby game I will gleefully clap as I notice it like a trained seal, and Kirby Star Allies, serving as a Kirby anniversary title, plays into that nostalgia hard.  Compared to the other modern 3D Kirby games (Return to Dreamland and past) I feel that the single player experience is on the weaker end, admittedly. The main campaign, while satisfying, blazes by quick, and the game does re-use boss styles a lot, which is a shame since the past few Kirby games had some very satisfying bosses.  Fortunately the extra content, including the post game modes and extra DLC support, was a marvelous way to keep the game running way after its release.  The nods and references to past games worked wonderfully for me, and it was admittedly great to see long dormant characters such as the animal buddies, Gooey, and Adeline/Ribbon return as playable characters.  The game's single player campaigns, both the initial story mode and the DLC conclusion “Heroes in Another Dimension” have very satisfying conclusions, and the challenge offered by the obligatory Arena mode is wild.  Really, I just love Kirby, and this game is a nice love letter to Kirby.  I have no idea where the game will even go after the plot line from this, but I am ready for the ride.

Octo-Expansion

Being able to play as an Octoling was definitely a long anticipated update for this game, and the way they were integrated into the game was amazing.  The initial Octo-Expansion trailer oozed almost rude amounts of style, and getting a whole new bonus single player campaign made purchasing an expansion worth it.  The additional stages were absolutely geared for challenge, and I don't think I will go back to finish the ones I didn't finish any time soon, but they had so many cool new implementations and spins on the Splatoon formula.  Splatoon on its own would make a decent game if it were just the single player campaign or multiplayer, so having both just makes for a nice, complete experience.  The whole climactic sequence, from finally completing the challenge of the subway to escaping to freedom, has that absurd escalation I just love in video games too. Also I love my stylish Octoling.

Kemono Friends Picross

Somehow I made it so long without ever playing Picross, but this finally brought me into it.  I have no idea how this combination came to be, but it finally got me into a fun puzzle system and I enjoy it. Somehow I have put in nearly as many hours on this game as I have Star Allies.  A lot of it does come from having the game paused as I idly go through puzzles while working on other projects, but having a game that does not demand a ton is pretty nice and fits with my gaming and lifestyle.  I'm looking for friends.

WarioWare Gold

WarioWare is one of my favorite video game franchises and a bit of an underdog, I feel.  The original Mega Microgames was my favorite experience on the GBA, with its unique game play mixed with a silly style.  The games that followed in the series for the DS and Wii were fun, but Made in Wario on the WiiU changed from the Microgame based high score hunting style to a collection of modes and games based on the WiiU game pad.  There were some bright ideas in there that might have done better as their own eShop titles, and the shift towards multiplayer games didn't quite fit as well with my style of gaming.  After that there was silence from the Wario Ware camp until the announcement and release of WarioWare Gold, which like Star Allies is a celebration of the series's past.  It was fun to have another Microgame experience that blended all of the weirdness and frantic gameplay that made me love the series, with a solid selection of classics built in.  It even has fully voiced cutscenes (an expansion on Smooth Moves's narration for each different style) that are oddly charming in a Saturday morning way.  It was good to have this series back, and I hope to see more unique takes on Microgames in the future.

Katamari Damacy Reroll

The original Katamari was a quirky game I bought on a whim back in the PS2 days that was sold to me on its weird look, style, and nice price point.  I enjoyed the first so much, and We <3 Katamari is one of my favorite games of all time.  Having a nicely touched up port on the Switch was welcome.  Somehow, despite having not played the original or its sequel in decades, I took to it like I had just played it yesterday, rolling up incredible Katamaris like a pro.  The original does have some warts in its gameplay that the sequels ironed out marvelously, and the dual stick controls do bother my thumbs at times, but it's still so satisfying to play and it's great that this game has a new chance.  Please go by this one, it's so enjoyable, but also because I want them to port We <3 Katamari so badly so you can all play that and see Katamari perfection.

Super Smash Brothers Ultimate

Smash Bros games seem to live on hype.  I will admit I never expected to see a Smash Bros game so early in the Switch.  It doesn't even feel that long since Smash 4 came out!  So having a trailer in the beginning of the year and a release in the same year was a bit astounding.  There was lots of drama and intrigue with leaks, character additions, and whatnot, and even if I am sad for some that didn't make it (pour one out for Ashley and Shadow, please) having every character available, along with some fun new additions, is definitely nice.  The spirits mode is a nice twist on the event mode, and the rebuffs to classic are nice.  Really, the best part is just being able to play Smash again with my pals, try out all of the characters, and just enjoy it with everyone.  I look forward to the DLC, and that we get Banjo and Crash to create some sort of bizarre realization of every ones mid-2000s dream game.  It was a fun ride leading up to it, and I look forward to playing it more with pals in the new year.

STUFF I STILL NEED TO FINISH

There are some games I got really recently that I still need to finish as gifts from the Steam Sale and whatnot.  I have right near the end of December received Celeste, Donut Country, and I finally got Cuphead thanks to the kindness of friends.  These will be some nice games to get me started on the new year even if one of them is from last year. At some point I may go back to Hollow Knight and Dark Souls, although admittedly the requirements for the true ending of the former are a bit of a turn off and I am having a bit of difficulty getting into the game play, controls, and progression style of the latter, but who knows!  I am also intrigued and interested in Yokai Watch 3, Yoshi's Crafted World, in the near future, and hope to see some nice news on Animal Crossing. Lastly, may Platinum Games heed my calls and give the world a Wario World sequel where Wario wrestles God or something in the pursuit of money.  Amen.

Also I still need to finish Persona 5.  Really at this point I’m just doing it for Futaba. She’s the best.

Next up, I will write about my favorite music from the year, as well as cartoons and film, which admittedly I have not gotten as much into this year!

[mrgameandpie]

Hey let’s take a moment to appreciate Stage 2 Touhou bosses because a lot of them are really great.

Hina Kagiyama and Sekibanki are some of my favorite characters in the Touhou series with fantastic themes, both for the stage and the boss, and both are some of the most aesthetically pleasing designs ZUN has ever produced. I find both of these characters to be really cool, though for the most part in opposite ways. I like how Hina has a power that seems scary and dangerous, but she uses it to help people and is incredibly dedicated towards making human lives better. I mean, the first time I saw the name of her theme, I thought she was going to be a final boss with a song titled “The Dark Side of Fate” but no she’s really cool and nice! And Sekibanki is a different kind of cool, a more laid back coolness where even though she’s a youkai she manages to live pretty peacefully in the human village. Gensokyo is generally represented as a really laid-back relaxed land outside of incidents, and I feel like Sekibanki really emphasizes that, she fought because she was worked up by the Miracle Mallet, but otherwise she’s so peaceful and uninterested in the greater goings on that she didn’t even care about the religious wars whatsoever. She seems to take a pretty neutral stance on most things and for a series where just about everyone is ready to throw down at the drop of a hat (or bow, or animal ears, or parasol, or...) that’s a pretty special trait. 

Of course, we can’t forget about probably the most memorable thing about any Touhou, the spell cards, and these two characters have wonderful spell cards! Hina has a major spiral motif going on which leads to really beautiful danmaku patterns of swirls everywhere, and her intangible midboss state where she spawns series of enemies is pretty cool too. Then with Sekibanki, they really get a lot out of her being a rokurokubi/nukekubi/dullahan. Her spellcards where she has a bunch of flying heads looks really cool, and the laser eye effect is fantastic! 

Both of these characters provide some fun boss fights, and despite their tendencies towards more passive natures I’d love to see both show up in another game someday. I mean, with Jo’on and Shion around spreading misfortune and curses everywhere Hina has a pretty good reason to show up and take them away given what her job is, show them what a misfortune goddess who helps humans looks like! With Sekibanki, as previously noted her tendency towards not getting involved in things is a pretty notable character element to her so finding a reason for her to get involved in really any incident is much tougher, but I’d love to get dullahan head options that fire off laser eyes in a shooter someday, and seeing dialogue from a character even less interested in getting involved in the dealings of Gensokyo would probably lead to some pretty humorous interactions.

So those are two of my top touhou characters, but Stage 2 bosses don’t stop being great there! Kogasa Tatara is also really cool! When you get right down to it, Kogasa is a ~surprisingly~ deep and interesting character, and I mean, hey, that’s generally the point. At first glance she seems like probably the most generic moe character of the group, a standard umbrella monster that even I, with very little information about japanese folklore, could recognize due to the Kirby midboss Jumpershoot, she’s shown as generally being a failure at most things which, yeah, generic monster, standard moe woobiness, we’ve got ourselves a pretty generic character who’ll probably be loved by the otaku community, right? Actually, no! (Well, no about genericness, the community is gonna do what the community is gonna do.) When you look deeper into her and her backstory, she’s got some cool stuff going on!

Her whole deal is subverting expectations, on easy mode her final spell card is ridiculously hard, she appears as the game’s extra stage midboss despite being the only character to have nothing to do with the main plot, she shows up on the game’s music CD, she even shows up in the youkai temple stage of the next game despite, once again, being the one character LEAST likely to appear there from 12 since she really isn’t connected to that group through her lore like the others are! She does more to surprise the players and community than to surprise anyone in-universe, perhaps she has some fourth-wall awareness in that regard? I do love my fourth-wall breakers and having one of a more subtle nature like this rather than just an in-your-face one like we usually see would be a pretty cool and fitting entry for Gensokyo!

Plus, Kogasa is a purple umbrella, and purple is great! I’d keep around a purple umbrella, would’t you?

Another Touhou stage 2 character I find great is Kyouko Kasodani! For her, she’s a dog! And dog girls are great! Why are cat girls popular when there are dog girls instead!? More than that though, I love the way her ability plays into her spellcards. Echoing sound is a cool ability for nearly any character, echolocation is a really neat ability both in real life and in fiction, and when used as a weapon it can make for come cool attacks and abilities. Shade Man and his weapon the Noise Crush from Mega Man 7 come to mind in this regard, his boss fight was really fun and hectic, and I loved using the Noise Crush as a super speed charge shot, a boss-defeating exploit, and just a generally easthetically pleasing projectile. Kyouko with her spellcards has all of that and more, creating really cool patterns of her bullets bouncing around all over the place that creates a fun looking spellcard that can often be difficult to predict and dodge. Well, for me anyway, I’m not necessarily that good at these games.

Also appropriate for a character with the power of sound, she has some really great music, her stage theme and boss theme are some of my favorites from 13, and in particular I adore this remix of the stage theme. I listen to it all the time! I tend to like nearly any stage 2 music more than average, but Kyouko’s really stands out among the crowd as a top-tier Touhou track. For a series known for great music, I’d say that is high praise!

Of course, going from Kyouko, can’t forget about her pal, fellow Stage 2 boss Mystia Lorelei. I don’t necessarily have as much connection to her since I never played any of the games she was in, but hey, she was playable in PoFV so that’s pretty neat! Setting up a band with Kyouko is pretty silly, and I really like the dynamic between them and their abilities.

The last Stage 2 character that really sticks out to me is Parsee Mizuhashi, and it’s mostly because of her being such a tragic figure. I don’t feel like I need to get too much into her backstory and such, but hey, she’s sad yo! Or, well, jealous, really. Such an intense power, she’s truly one of the more dangerous creatures in Gensokyo, despite not being able to rend reality with her will alone or anything, the effect she can have on a person’s mind can be even more terrifying. She also had a really well designed outfight with a nice cool color scheme, a fantastic scarf, and surprisingly no headwear of any kind! Or do her pointy-looking ears count? They probably do. Or maybe she doesn’t have any so she can be jealous of everyone else’s.

Of course this isn’t to put down the other stage 2 bosses, the likes of Cirno and Chen are extremely popular, no real need to get into them. Meanwhile, Ringo and Nemuno Sakata just don’t stand out to me very much, but they’re also the latest Touhou characters so maybe we’ll see more from them in the future that’ll make me like them even more. Still good songs for them at least, before the full game was released and brought us the crazy backup dancers and Okina’s numerous themes Nemuno’s track was one I listened to a lot from 16.

Stage 2 bosses are rarely related to the larger ongoing plot of any game, and as such a lot of these characters don’t get nearly as much focus or attention as so many others, but as a whole I’d say stage 2 consistently brings us wonderful characters, and I hope I’ve been able to highlight some characters and traits that maybe you wouldn’t have paid as much attention to otherwise.

[intergalactic-zoo]

I decided, apropos of nothing, to put on Joss Whedon's Zack Snyder's "Justice League" while doing some work today. I discussed the movie when it came out eleventy billion years ago, and thought it was fine. It's not good, but grading on the curve of every DCEU movie up to that point, it was a solid B-. Sitting in 2021, I remember bits and pieces of it—Steppenwolf looking like he stepped out of an XBox 360 cutscene, the decent cell phone video of Superman that was marred by the terrible attempt to CGI out Cavill's moustache, all the characters sounding like their rough counterparts in "The Avengers"—but not a lot of details.

Obviously the intervening years have altered my perspective on the film, both through the revelations about the behind-the-scenes racism and abuse and through the fanatical and also frequently abusive behavior of the fans clamoring for this version of the film, which absolutely definitely existed and was finished years ago and also needed an additional $70 million dollars and reshoots to complete. 

That perspective has not been altered for the better. 

Against my better judgment, I'm going to watch the Snyder Cut sometime, probably this weekend, so I figured it'd be good to see how it deviates from the theatrical release, like I did for the Lester and Donner cuts of "Superman II" so very long ago. I don't expect to enjoy either one; my feelings on the superhero movies of Zack Snyder are well-documented, and even under the best circumstances, four hours is too @#%*$! long for a superhero movie. But four hours of nihilistic spite dressed up in cinematic deepities and CGI with a sepia-toned overlay is unlikely to be the best of circumstances. 

Will it be better than two hours of the extremely generic re-skinned "Avengers: Age of Ultron" that got released to theaters? There's only one way to find out!

Boy, the New 52-ass character designs in the DC logo opening sure didn't age well. When was Rebirth, like, the year before?

Pretty neat that it's got Mogo and Jessica Cruz in there, though. 

That cell phone scene was a lot better in my memory. Like, the kids with a podcast are kind of charming, but I remembered it being a good Superman moment, when it's really just kind of nothing. Certainly not enough to justify the extremely bad CGI. And is the negative space on the S-shield supposed to look so gray?

Gotham City looks like the background of a Robert Rodriguez movie, but I actually like it here. It feels grimy and a little uncanny, the way Gotham should. A big building with "JANUS" on it in glowing letters and big coal chimneys out of Victorian London are what I want to see in Gotham, along with copious brooding gargoyles and enormous iron statues of Greek gods that you could drive a car on. 

A building that is continually being robbed by either Two-Face or Maxie Zeus

"Batman Forever," for comparison

Ben Affleck's Batman rasp is at least as silly as Christian Bale's. Batman can just talk in a voice, my dudes. I watched bits of "Batman & Robin" and "Batman Forever" to track down the right screenshots, and it's so much better when Batman is a guy with a deep voice rather than a guy who sounds like he's gargling gravel and sand. 

The crook asking "where does that leave us?" because Superman's dead is a little weird given that Superman was a public figure in this universe for literally a year and a half. In 2021, it's a bit like asking how we could go on if Billie Eilish died, except Billie Eilish hasn't, to my knowledge, ever been involved in a fight that leveled a major city.

The maudlin mourning sequence probably should have come before Batman backflipped over a snarling Kirby monster and "Mindhunter's" Holt McCallany hopped around on a rooftop, because I laughed out loud at the unhoused person's "I Tried" sign and I do not think that was the intended reaction. 

And then the Leonard Cohen cover gives way to the Danny Elfman score, and it sounds like "Batman" '89 again. God, this movie really is a mess. 

I appreciate Wonder Woman explaining her powers like she's in a Chris Claremont comic. How long until we get a superhero movie with a proper reference caption? I just want to see a box in "Into the Spider-Verse 2" that says "*It happened in Spectacular Spider-Man #206, True Believers!"

I really wish superhero movies could stop having the scene where superheroes talk about how stupid superheroes are. It feels so self-conscious. Just embrace the concept without being ashamed of it, please.

I also wish we could have dialogue less on the nose than everything Henry Allen says. He talks exclusively in clichés about movement—"running in circles," "standing still," "find your own path." We get it, he's talking to the Flash.  

I keep forgetting that this movie is a fetch quest. It could have worked if we'd seen more than Themyscira before. This could be like that sequence in "Avengers: Endgame" where we go on a little memory tour of the previous films, but instead it's a return to Paradise Island, our first brief, boring glimpse of Atlantis, and a nuclear plant cooling tower. This is one of the problems with setting the "let's get the team together" movie before you've met most of the team or established most of the set pieces. 

The boom tube effect is pretty good. It's a shame Steppenwolf looks so much like a character from a Zemeckis film. I do appreciate that Joss had enough restraint to avoid dropping "Magic Carpet Ride" or something when he showed up. 

Fus roh dah!

Also, I realize the ship has largely sailed on this, but the Amazons are supposed to be an incredibly advanced society; maybe we could stop depicting them as exclusively armed with bronze-age weaponry. 

You know, it's hard to see Lois Lane so...despondent? Demoralized? Even in the wake of Clark's death. Like, Lois was pretty weepy for a few issues of the comics after Superman died, but within two months she was accosting cops and breaking into Cadmus in a wetsuit and punching dudes in the teeth. Lois Lane is a stone cold badass, and the only film in this erstwhile trilogy that came close to understanding that was "Man of Steel."

The frustrating thing about the dialogue is just how obvious it is that Joss knows how to write exactly as many characters as are on the Avengers. Batman just sounds like Tony Stark, Wonder Woman banters like Black Widow until she needs to exposit like Thor, it's just so lazy. 

And so is the backstory of the Mother Boxes. I actually really like the "all the races of man joined together with the gods and the Green Lanterns to repel Steppenwolf" angle, because it makes this idea of uniting as a League into a theme that you could build a movie around (that movie was "The Fellowship of the Ring"). Unfortunately, they do it by stripping the Mother Boxes of anything that made them interesting as a concept and turning Steppenwolf into a low-rent Thanos. Thanos is supposed to be a low-rent Darkseid, get it right. 

I was going to rag on Bruce for comparing Flash's suit to "the space shuttle" in the present tense, when the space shuttle program ended six years before this movie came out, but I suppose Bruce Wayne is a cranky old guy in this movie, so it kind of works. 

Man, poor Ray Fisher, in addition to everything else, having to read this warmed-over Bruce Banner dialogue. 

Not gonna lie, hearing the Elfman Batman theme is pretty great. It's nice that Batman and Wonder Woman have really solid, recognizable motifs in the score, even if they had to reach back 30 years to find one for Batman. It's a shame the other characters don't get anything so clear and distinctive. 

Casting J.K. Simmons as Commissioner Gordon was a pretty good move.

Our first full glimpse of Cyborg is a bit uncomfortable. Up until this point, we've seen him in sweats, so seeing him without clothes...it's like that bit in "Cats" where Idris Elba takes off his coat and even though he's covered in CGI, you can't help but think "okay, he's naked now," a thought you only have because he was wearing clothes before. 

Batman does his "disappear while Gordon has his back turned" bit, and it becomes a gag because only Flash is left behind. Except that we've seen that Flash perceives things at a higher speed than others, so why would he be caught off-guard? Wouldn't their disappearance have happened in basically slow-motion to him? Why did Wonder Woman and Cyborg disappear when Batman did? How did they know to do that? The only reason Flash is left behind is for the gag, because he's the comic relief character right now, but it would make more sense for literally either of the others to be the one in that position. It feels like a "kill your darlings" moment. Like, they decided that this gag was more important than making sense, when they could easily have done a different gag—like Flash noticing that Batman was leaving and stopping him in the middle. 

The Nightcrawler is a bad idea. It doesn't really make sense as the thing Batman would bring to this fight with Steppenwolf, and it's loaded up with guns, which...come on, guys. It doesn't even get a clear enough spotlight to be properly toyetic. 

If you needed any confirmation that Joss saw how much better Quicksilver was in "X-Men: Days of Future Past" than in "Age of Ultron," the Flash is here in this battle to make it obvious. 

God, the "Flash is awkward about being on top of Wonder Woman" gag feels like it lasts a thousand years. It's like something out of a "Big Bang Theory" episode.

It physically pained me to hear crappy Steppenwolf quoting New Gods #1. 

I know there's pathos to Cyborg's character, but, like, is this really the version that they thought people wanted to see? Is this just the Brooding League? I thought a part of the reason for bumping Cyborg up to the big League was to bring in people who love the version on "Teen Titans," but there's nothing of that character here. 

On the other hand, they've sidestepped the modern problem of making Barry Allen act like Wally West by instead making Barry Allen act like Bart Allen with a head injury. 

I really like Bruce Wayne in a vest. 

There's so many things that would have made this movie better, but honestly? I think Superman should've stayed dead. Obviously I love the character, and I even love Cavill's performance, but a movie about  a superhero community coming together and being inspired by Superman's example to be better—you know, the thing Batman says at the end of "Dawn of Justice"—would have been a lot better than a movie where two characters we just met dig up Superman's grave to MacGuffin him back to life. It still wouldn't make that much sense that Superman would have such a massive impact after just a year and a half of public superheroing (come on, Snyder, if you're going to do the Christ allegory, why not give him three years?), but it would have been a better way to showcase what the character means to this universe and to these characters. 

This runs into something I said way back when I first saw "Man of Steel": You shouldn't make General Zod your first-movie villain. I've been comparing this film to "Age of Ultron" a lot, but I'm starting to realize that the entire DCEU—with the possible exception of "Wonder Woman"—is made up of the second movie in each character's respective franchises. Zod should have been the villain Superman faced after he was established, to raise doubts about the character's allegiances and present him with a seemingly impossible threat. Batman should have fought Superman after a movie where we established what Batman's deal is, how he got to be so angry and bitter. The Justice League should have faced an enemy too big to fight without Superman after the movie where a threat and Superman's legacy inspired them to unite together. Heck, even "Suicide Squad" would've been better if they'd saved the "one of our own is a traitor" plot for a sequel, where we might have some emotional attachment to some of the characters. 

Boy, Barry Allen attempting a fist bump with Cyborg and then laughing off the rejection with the phrase "racially charged" hits real bad in the wake of Ray Fisher's discussion about the environment on-set. 

One thing to appreciate about Cavill's Superman is how much he exemplifies the hairy-chested, dimple-chinned version that Dan Jurgens draws. 

And Elfman works the John Williams theme into the score. The motif works well the first time, less so the second when he's trying to kill the Flash. Hitting it in a more minor key would have been nice. Again, it's a shame they had to go literally forty years back in time to find a recognizable Superman theme when there were two Superman movies leading up to this. 

This fight between Superman and the League is bad and unnecessary, but the bit where Superman reacts to Flash in super-speed is well-done, marred only by the incredibly doofy look on Flash's face. 

God, Cavill doing the gravel-voice, asking "Do you bleed?" might be the worst part of this movie. Although Lois Lane entering the plot for the first time in an hour so she can say "the sun's gettin' real low" to Superman is a close second. Why isn't she involved in the formation of the League? Why wasn't she a major character in this?

Batman's "something's definitely bleeding" comedy bit feels like something out of a View Askew movie, and not only because it's Ben Affleck. 

Clark's discussion with Lois, "it's itchy," it's yet another jarring tone shift from what we saw immediately before. And the greenscreen work on the farm (reshoots, I expect) is somehow worse than the moustache removal. 

The bit with Aquaman baring his soul because he's sitting on the Lasso of Truth is the closest one of the comedy bits in this has come to actually working for me. 

And then, adding to the "Age of Ultron" comparisons, we're back to fighting an enemy in a small Eastern European nation. The red skies are a nice touch. The Batmobile's 50-caliber cannon and chainguns, less so.

Did...did the Flash just say "oh snap"? 

And Aquaman saying "my man" to Cyborg with the exact same inflection as Bradley Cooper in "Get Out" is another one of those real uncomfortable moments. 

And then Batman gets a laser gun, because why not? 

Superman asking "how can I help" and then rushing off to save civilians is maybe the best moment for the character in the entire DCEU. It's also nice that Superman gets a moment to help more or less each character with their individual missions. 

And then Wonder Woman drops the "I work with children" line, which is the best line Black Widow gets in this movie. 

Cyborg gets his "booyah" moment, which feels forced but at least makes some sense with his character arc. Flash gets his fistbump. Not-Sokovia gets to be the setting for a Jeff Vandermeer novel, and the team gets their triumphant moment in the sun. 

We're on to denouement, and Lois gets the closing narration, which is mostly fine. It would work better if she weren't basically a cameo in the movie. I do like that it ends on "look, up in the sky," and that Cavill finally gets a chance to do the shirt pull. 

Except that's not the end. First we get the beginning-of-credits scene with the Superman/Flash race, which is cute but unnecessary. And then a truly awful cover of "Come Together" before the post-credits sequence where Lex Luthor meets up with Deathstroke and his truly ridiculous dye job. 

In summary, Joss Whedon's Zack Snyder's "Justice League" is a bad movie. In fact, it's several bad movies stitched together into a shambling bad movie Frankenstein. And tomorrow I'm going to watch Zack Snyder's Zack Snyder's "Justice League: The Snyder Cut," which is getting surprisingly positive reviews. I do not expect to enjoy it, because I really don't think my problems with this movie will be fixed by making it broodier and longer, and my track record with enjoying Snyder's films is basically nonexistent. But I'm watching it, because I'm a glutton for punishment, and at least if I do it while I'm still on vacation from Twitter, I won't be tempted to join in the undoubtedly toxic discourse. 

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

The Darkness We Hide by Debra Webb

The Undertaker’s Daughter #3 In the finale of this trilogy we finally have the answers that Dr. Rowan Dupont has been looking for. - and that I have been waiting for. By the end of this book many secrets had been revealed and I felt the conclusion had definitely been reached with this series even though it seems there is another series by this author in the same setting. It was a bit slow in the beginning, there was a bit of repetition in Rowan’s thinking at times and it took awhile to get into the story but about midway the pace began to pick up speed and so did my interest. What I liked: * The twists and turns * That I didn’t always know what would happen next * The twisted thinking of more than one character * Not necessarily knowing who was good and who was evil * The look into the life of an undertaker * Billy – seemed to be a truly good man and he definitely loved Rowan * Rowan – mostly – though sometimes she did some silly things that didn’t seem very wise related to her safety * Charlotte – a good friend to Rowan * The baddies did get there comeuppance What I did not like: * The twisted evil characters that were in this book/series – they were warped beyond belief * Realizing once again that evil is real and that real people are evil – sometimes fiction is just the tip of the iceberg. * Wondering if there might have been more information in the first book that would have explained some of my lingering questions... Did I enjoy this book? I think so Would I read more by this author? Yes Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins – Harlequin - Mira for the ARC – This is my honest review. 4 Stars  (less)

 BLURB

In the thrilling conclusion to The Undertaker’s Daughter series, THE DARKNESS WE HIDE, Doctor Rowan Dupont has been staring death in the face for so long, she’s willing to meet it for the secrets it holds. Death has followed her back to her hometown of Winchester, Tennessee, ten months ago, cloaking the walls of her family’s Victorian funeral home like a shroud. In investigating the mysterious deaths of her loved ones, Rowan has unearthed enough family secrets to bury everything she’d previously thought true. But each shocking discovery has only led to more bodies and more questions; the rabbit hole is deeper than she ever imagined.

Despite settling into a comfortable life with Police Chief Billy Brannigan, Rowan knows dangerous serial killer Julian Addington is still out there. She can’t let her guard down now. Not when she’s this close to ending it once and for all. But with a storm brewing on the horizon, she’ll get only one shot before the impending darkness takes hold, threatening to wipe away every truth she’s uncovered—and everything she holds dear.

THE DARKNESS WE HIDE

Author: Debra Webb

ISBN: 9780778309475

Publication Date: March 31, 2020

Publisher: MIRA Books

Buy Links:

Harlequin

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Books-A-Million

Powell’s

EXCERPT

One

Winchester, Tennessee

Monday, March 9, 7:35 a.m.

Rowan DuPont parked on the southeast side of the downtown square. The county courthouse sat smack in the middle of Winchester with streets forming a grid around it. Shops, including a vintage movie theater, revitalized over the past few years by local artisans lined the sidewalks. Something Rowan loved most about her hometown were the beautiful old trees that still stood above all else. So often the trees were the first things to go when towns received a face-lift. Not in Winchester. The entire square had been refreshed and the majestic old trees still stood.

This morning the promise of spring was impossible to miss. Blooms and leaves sprouted from every bare limb. This was her favorite time of year. A new beginning. Anything could happen.

Rowan sighed. Funny how being back in Winchester had come to mean so much to her these past several months. As a teenager she couldn’t wait to get away from home. Growing up in a funeral home had made her different from the other kids. She was the daughter of the undertaker, a curiosity. At twelve tragedy had struck and she’d lost her twin sister and her mother within months of each other. The painful events had driven her to the very edge. By the time she finished high school, she was beyond ready for a change of scenery. Despite having spent more than twenty years living in the big city hiding from the memories of home and a dozen of those two decades working with Nashville’s Metro Police Department—in Homicide, no less—she had been forced to see that there was no running away. No hiding from the secrets of her past.

There were too many secrets, too many lies, to be ignored.

Yet, despite all that had happened the first eighteen years of her life, she was immensely glad to be back home.

If only the most painful part of her time in Nashville—serial killer Julian Addington—hadn’t followed her home and wreaked havoc those first months after her return.

Rowan took a breath and emerged from her SUV. The morning air was brisk and fresh. More glimpses of spring’s impending arrival showed in pots overflowing with tulips, daffodils and crocuses. Those same early bloomers dotted the landscape beds all around the square. It was a new year and she was very grateful to have the previous year behind her.

She might not be able to change the past, but she could forge a different future and she intended to do exactly that.

Closing the door, she smiled as she thought of the way Billy had winked at her as he’d left this morning. He’d settled that cowboy hat onto his handsome head, flashed that sexy smile and winked, leaving her heart fluttering. Four months ago he’d moved into the funeral home with her. The one-hundred-fifty-year-old three-story house didn’t feel nearly so lonely now. She and Billy had been friends most of their lives and, in truth, she had been attracted to him since she was thirteen or fourteen. But she’d never expected a romantic relationship to evolve. Billy Brannigan was a hometown hero. The chief of police and probably the most eligible bachelor in all of Franklin County. He could have his pick of any of the single women around town. Rowan hadn’t expected to be his choice.

She had always been too work-oriented to bother with long-term relationships. Too busy for dating on a regular basis.

Billy had made her want long-term. He made her believe anything was possible, even moving beyond her tragic past.

The whole town was speculating on when the wedding invitations would go out. Rowan hadn’t even considered the possibility. This place where she and Billy were was comfortable. It felt good. Particularly since fate had given them a break the past four months. No trouble beyond the regular, everyday sort. No calls or notes from Julian. No unexplained bodies turning up. And no serial killers had appeared looking for Rowan.

Life was strangely calm and oddly normal.

She would never say as much to Billy, but it was just a little terrifying. The worry that any day, any moment, the next bad thing would happen stalked her every waking moment. Somehow she managed to keep that worry on the back burner. But it was there, waiting for an opportunity to seep into her present.

“Not today,” she said aloud.

Today was important. She and Burt Johnston, the county coroner, had breakfast on Monday mornings. She locked her vehicle and started for the sidewalk. The Corner Diner was a lunch staple in Winchester. Had been since the end of the Great Depression. Attorneys and judges who had court often frequented the place for lunch. Most anyone who was someone in the area could be found at the diner. More deals and gossip happened here than in the mayor’s office.

But breakfast with the coroner wasn’t the only event that made this day so important.

Today she intended to offer her assistant, Charlotte Kinsley, a promotion and a part-ownership in the funeral home. Since there were no more DuPonts—Rowan had no children and couldn’t say if that would ever happen—she needed to bring someone into the family business. Someone younger who could carry on the DuPont legacy.

Rowan paused outside the diner. The iron bench that sat beneath the plate glass window was empty. Surprise furrowed her brow. Burt usually waited there for her. She surveyed the cars lining the sidewalks as far as the eye could see. No sign of Burt’s. He was never late but there was always a first time. After all, he wasn’t exactly a young man anymore.

She sank down onto the bench, dug her cell phone from her bag and sent him a text. She was the one who generally kept him waiting and he never once complained. She certainly wasn’t going to do so. His car was a little on the vintage side as well. Maybe he had car trouble this morning. Worry gnawed at her. A dead battery or a flat tire. Surely he would have called her.

“Morning, Rowan.”

She glanced up, smiling automatically. Lance Kirby, one of the attorneys who was not fortunate enough to have an office on the square. The ones who had been around a lifetime held on to that highly sought-after real estate. The others, like Kirby, waited patiently for someone to retire or to die. Meanwhile they showed up for coffee in this highly visible location bright and early every morning.

“Good morning, Lance.”

Kirby was a couple of years older than her. He’d lived in Winchester his entire life other than the years he spent at college and law school. He was divorced and had three kids. He’d asked Rowan out to dinner on several occasions. She hoped he didn’t ask again this morning. Coming up with an excuse to turn him down was becoming tedious. Surely he was aware that she and Billy were a couple now.

The idea startled her a little. This was the first time in her life that she was half of a couple in the truest sense of the word.

“If you’re waiting for Burt, he’s parked around back. Every spot around the square was taken before seven this morning.” Kirby reached for the door. “People have come early hoping for a chance to get into the Winters trial. Everyone wants to hear the story on that family.”

Rowan had been reading about the trial for weeks in the Winchester Gazette. “That explains why I had to circle around for a while before I found a spot.” She’d forgotten about the small parking area in the back alley behind the diner. “Thanks for telling me. I was worried he’d stood me up.”

Kirby laughed. “I don’t think any man still breathing would stand you up, Rowan.”

She glanced at her cell phone as if it had vibrated. “Oops. I have to take this.”

The instant she set the phone to her ear, Kirby went on inside the diner, the bell over the door jingling to announce his entrance.

Thank goodness.

For appearances’ sake she kept the phone to her ear a half a minute, then put it away. To pass the time she counted the yellow daffodils brimming in the rock planter built around the tree at the edge of the sidewalk. Those lovely yellow flowers were coming up all around the funeral home, too. Her mother had loved gardening. Early-spring blooms were already bursting all over the yard. Maybe her mother had hoped to chase away some of the gloom associated with living in a funeral home.

Since her father’s death, Rowan had hired a gardener. Somehow her father had managed to keep her mother’s extensive gardens alive and thriving for all those years. Rowan did not have a green thumb at all. She had killed every plant she’d ever tried to nurture. She was not going to be the one who dropped the ball on the family garden.

She glanced up then down the sidewalk. Still no sign of Burt. With a sigh, she pushed to her feet. Maybe he was on the phone, which would explain why he hadn’t answered her text. Rather than keep waiting, she cut through the narrow side alley to the small rear parking lot. With his taillights facing the back of the diner, Burt’s white sedan was nosed up to the bank that faced North Jefferson Street.

Rowan quickened her pace and walked up to the driver’s side of his car. Burt sat behind the steering wheel, staring out the windshield.

For a moment Rowan waited for him to glance over and see her but he didn’t move. Whether it was the lax expression on his face or some deep-rooted instinct, she abruptly understood that he was dead.

She tugged at the door handle. Thankfully it opened. Her heart pounding, she bent down. No matter that her brain was telling her he was already gone, she asked, “Burt, you okay?”

Her fingers went instantly to his carotid artery.

Nothing.

Rowan snatched her cell from her bag and called 911. She requested an ambulance and the chief of police, then she laid the phone on the ground and reached into the car and pulled Burt from his seat. She grunted with the effort of stretching him out on the pavement. On her knees next to him, she pressed her ear to his chest. No heartbeat. She held her cheek close to his lips. No breath.

Rowan started CPR.

The voice from the speaker of her cell phone confirmed that the ambulance was en route. She informed the dispatcher that she’d started CPR.

Rowan continued the compressions, her eyes burning with emotion. Burt was her friend. She had been gone from Winchester for a very long time and he had made her feel as if she’d never left. She did not want him to die. Other than Billy, he was the person she felt closest to. The voice of logic reminded her that Burt was just two months shy of his eightieth birthday.

She ignored the voice and focused on the chest compressions. “Come on, Burt. Don’t you die on me.”

Facial color was still good. Skin was still warm. He couldn’t have been in this condition for long. Hope attempted to make an appearance. But it was short-lived. Even a few minutes could be too many.

Damn it!

The approaching sirens drove home the realization that this was all too real.

AUTHOR BIO

Debra Webb is the award-winning, USA Today bestselling author of more than 130 novels, including reader favorites the Faces of Evil, the Colby Agency, and the Shades of Death series. With more than four million books sold in numerous languages and countries, Debra's love of storytelling goes back to her childhood on a farm in Alabama. Visit Debra at www.DebraWebb.com

or write to her at PO Box 176, Madison, AL 35758.

Social Links:

Author Website

Twitter: @DebraWebbAuthor

Instagram: @DebraEWebb

Facebook: @DebraWebbAuthor

Goodreads

Q&A

 How did you decide on the location for the series?

 My husband, family and I lived in the Winchester area for fifteen years. We have family and friends there and adore the area! The town of Winchester is historic and has that “old west” feel and it felt perfect. Particularly since the old, old funeral home there is totally inspiring!

 Coffee or tea?

 Hot coffee, iced tea!

 What is your favorite genre to read, and why?

 Psychological or domestic suspense!

 What do you use to inspire you when you get Writer’s Block?

 A long ride in the countryside. Great music. Good movies!

 Best TV or Movie adaptation of a book?

Outlander!

 Do you plan your books in advance or let them develop as you write?

 I plan to a degree and then let the story take me where it will.

What has been the hardest thing about your publishing journey? What has been the most fun?

 The hardest thing was an injury in 2010 that left my right arm and hand basically paralyzed. Three years of physical therapy was required for regaining partial use of the arm and learning to even write my name. But I never stopped writing. Slowed down a bit, but didn’t stop! The most fun without question has been reaching a place where I could write the books of my heart rather than what had a better chance of selling to a house.

Do you prefer writing in silence or to music?

 Both. Sometimes I need quiet, other times I want music.

What are you working on next?

 I have a new series percolating!

 What is the significance of the title?

 Very important to suspense and mystery are the things a character doesn’t know or doesn’t see coming. The secrets, the lies and even the darkness can trickle into the lives of most people. Most people have secrets, most lie occasionally—if only to protect feelings—and we all have feelings sometimes that aren’t happy or light or maybe nice. Thus the titles, The Secrets We Bury, The Lies We Tell and The Darkness We Hide!

What were the key challenges you faced when writing this book?

 Making sure the body preparation and tasks of a funeral director were accurate.

Do you have stories on the back burner that are just waiting to be written?

 Always!

What does a day in the life of Debra Webb look like?

 I like to do my writing early. Then, hopefully by lunch time, I’m off the do the necessary and the fun. I love junk shopping and decorating. My husband and I are always renovating something!

What would you tell a hopeful content creator about trying to break out in publishing?

 Focus your work and never stop trying!

[ivynajspyder]

late night Kirby drabble???

Takes place right after ep 79.

MK and Fumu, not shippy. Was going to be silly but ended up sort of serious??

"So where were you?"

Meta Knight was startled by the question, as he hadn't realized anyone was there in the dim castle hallway.

He turned slightly, seeing Fumu standing a short way behind him. He couldn't quite read her expression. He could say she looked annoyed, but then, she sort of always did. Given the sort of environment she'd grown up in, it was hard to blame her.

"...Pardon?" he said, stalling for time.

Oh, now she looked annoyed for certain. It was a subtle change but clear enough up close.

"Where were you. When I was being carried to the top of the castle by a giant gorilla." Now her arms were crossed in front of her.  "You didn't hear anything? That's not like you."

His mind raced. Everything was fine. Kirby saved you. I just wasn't nearby. I certainly wasn't watching and waiting because I assumed Kirby would catch you. I didn't expect you to-

"I fell off the tower," she continued, interrupting his inner thoughts, mouth pressed in a thin line resembling a grimace. She rubbed her side in a way that suggested injury. "I think Bonkers broke my fall, but..."

By this time, Meta Knight's silence was all the answer she needed. But instead of getting angry she just sighed, shaking her head.

"You know, nevermind. I guess nothing bad happened, just..." A slight shrug of her shoulders followed. "You usually show up in situations... like that."

Right. The 'Fumu in mortal peril' situations.

"...I... made a misjudgment," he finally said, resisting any urge to hide himself further in his cape, but not resisting the urge to look away. He did not like to face his mistakes. Especially ones with so many 'what ifs'.

She was quiet for a moment, before saying in a lighter tone, "Well, who can predict what Kirby will do? I kind of thought he'd try and catch me, or something. He has before." She was thinking back to their first meeting. "Weird..."

Meta Knight nodded, looking back at her. "I'll be more careful in the future. It is my job to keep everyone safe, after all." Maybe he was losing his touch. It was no excuse. Fumu had expected someone to come to her aid and it was his fault for giving her that false sense of security. He wasn't always going to be there.

But she smiled, and some of the weight on his conscience lifted. "I know it can't be easy. It's not like you're my personal bodyguard. But... I do really appreciate it."

In the future, he told himself, she shouldn't need an old soldier like him around to protect her from monsters. He could only hope. Either Kirby would fill the role, or there simply wouldn't be anything like that to fight.

"Well, Bonkers is leaving soon. I'm going to see him off with everyone." She turned to leave, waving back at him. "See you around."

"Take care," he replied, and they went their separate ways.

[paulidin]

[Review] #HobbsAndShaw was really fun! 7.5/10 stars. I was not expecting that this movie would be the crossover between the Fast & Furious franchise and the Marvel universe but I'm pretty sure that's what happened! Especially with that reunion between Deadpool and Peter! There were some lines that were really clunky. Some lines were so cheesy i needed lactaid pills. Many parts of the movie were super predictable and silly tropes. It made no sense that Hobbs could pull a Captain America move. BUT Vanessa Kirby kicked tons of ass! I loved seeing so much of Samoa and that the haka was subtitled! The special effects were pretty great and i loved that there was production done with FilmHawai'i. And the car chases were explosive like the main franchise. P.S. I hope there's more of the whole Shaw family in a future film! https://www.instagram.com/p/B1LJxW1F4i6/

[comicteaparty]

January 3rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on January 3rd, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Princess Pups by Lindsay Hornsby.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Princess Pups by Lindsay Hornsby~! (https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite strip in the comic so far and why?

one strip i really enjoyed myself was this one https://tapas.io/episode/295876 where the pups are having a debate. partly just cause of how quickly the debate devolved, and partly cause i loved how cute it was that the judging pups got to have cake and cookies and were basically the ultimate winners.

although my all time favorite is definitely the valentines strip https://tapas.io/episode/284778. this one just hurt my heart with the cuteness and i think sends such a positive message about how maybe the jerks around us also just didnt get their own valentines and are lashing out in jealousy. and i love the princess pups for putting kindness before revenge.

in terms of comedy, to lighten things up from that last one, there's also this strip https://tapas.io/episode/812585 that i enjoyed. partly cause i always love Pug Pups shenanigans of just basically wanting to eat anything and everything. but also because i like the irony that nope the eclipse was just a giant cookie thing in the sky. although maybe theyll figure it out when it takes a while to disappear

L Hornsby

Hiya, I draw Princess Pups and I'm glad you like it @RebelVampire !

RebelVampire

thank you for coming, @L Hornsby ~!

related to pug pup https://tapas.io/episode/499353 i super loved pug pups idea of a horror story is that the fridge is empty. XD but another good strip just cause they once again didnt scorn the ghost. just said come on ghost, join our party. which i mean is a sign theyre great party throwers cause basically anyone is a potential guest.

L Hornsby

They especially love having a party with someone else who enjoys candy

(even if they are a ghost)

RebelVampire

which now made me overthink wondering if the ghost cant actually eat it and it just passes through them. XD although i doubt pug pup would complain about that. can just follow the trail and eat all those candies

L Hornsby

The ghost probably enjoys at least being around candies and cookies I hadn't considered if it could eat it though. Makes me think about Slimer from GhostBusters going after a buffet

RebelVampire

lol. mysteries for another day probably. more important they have a good, fun experience

L Hornsby

Yeah!

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/266696 another strip i thought was hilarious. the princess pups making all these elaborate plans to get their food back. meanwhile the cats basically self sabotage by beating each other up and having a slap fight. which tbf is very accurate to cats since they dont like food competition XD

L Hornsby

The Commando Cats sometimes work together, but usually don't

RebelVampire

wait theyre called the commando cats? XD thats great

L Hornsby

Yeah Since the Pups don't talk, it doesn't get brought up in the comics unless I'm putting a note under the comic

I wanted something sort of opposite of "Princess Pups" but with cats and I also wanted them to wear hats instead of crowns

RebelVampire

i do enjoy their hats

QUESTION 2. Which of the Princess Pups is your favorite insofar? What about this pup makes you like them? Of the strips so far, what has been your favorite story to have this pup in it? What about their role in the strip made it enjoyable for you? In regards to your favorite pup, which pup do you love to see them interact with and why? What pup(s) do you feel your favorite should interact with more? Lastly, are there any minor recurring characters you enjoy seeing? Who are they and what about them do you like?

despite where my answers may have lead one to believe, my favorite pup is actually Scruffy Pup. I love her overall design and how it suits her messy personality in general, to start with. I especially just love her eyes though. Sometimes about them just makes her have the cutest facial expressions to me. As far as strips with her in it, I really liked Goat World https://tapas.io/episode/516356. partly cause i enjoyed just how plain enthusiastic she was about going to goat world. things go awry, and in the end the goats that she loved betrayed her by trying to eat all her stuff. which i mean is sad, but also hilarious just cause goats just be doin goat things.

as for interactions, im not sure i really have a preference. although i would like to see scruffy pup and pug pup interact more in the future. cause pug pup is my 2nd favorite and i feel the messiest pup + the eatiest pup could result in the best of pup shenanigans

L Hornsby

I drew Goat World due to a visit to a petting zoo where the goats kept trying to take my map, my backpack, and a piece of thread from my shirt

Scruffy Pup and Pug Pup definitely are the messiest and hungriest of the pups for sure though!

RebelVampire

lol omg. that sounds like quite the experience and reminds me why i dont really go to petting zoos

since pug pup is my second favorite, i will also answer these questions for pug pup. i really enjoy pug pup because she basically the most chill. like that whole pizza party story arch. pug pup didnt care what was on the pizza. she just wanted to eat it. and i think that makes her adorable. her immense single minded focus. i dont really have a fave strip in this case cause i generally like all of pug pup's roles in any strips. i think in general she alone provides a ton of the comedy moments for the comic. XD

in terms of minor characters, i love the commando cats. partly out of my biased love for cats, but i also just love both their cute hats and the fact that theyre super cat like in how they react. like theyre the antagonists more by cat nature rather than this over the top manner you usually see in things.

L Hornsby

They're a mix of a few cats I've had growing up / currently. Cats can be really grumpy and fight each other, but can also be cuddle friends, but then go back to smacking each other XD

RebelVampire

yes that is definitely accurate to cats

mathtans

Hello dere. Only had a chance to read the origin so far this week, but wanted to say I'm impressed at how much gets conveyed without dialogue balloons.

L Hornsby

Pug Pup might be one of my most favorite to draw, but also least favorite because sometimes I forget to color her mouth markings, and I feel silly when that happens

mathtans

Also, I love the term "cloud meeples".

L Hornsby

Thanks @mathtans ! The comic I'd been doing previous to Princess Pups involved a very chatty six year old, so I wanted to try to keep this one very pantomime

RebelVampire

speaking of hte origin story, i love teacup pup had to have official princess pup papers that fluff pup scrutinized thoroughly XD

mathtans

Scanning the backlog here. Yep, that seems accurate to cats, though I admit I'm a cat person.

Teacup pup is precious. Vacuum sucks.

I'm reading through more now. I wonder if they make the charts themselves, or use the wands to do it.

RebelVampire

i actually wondered if the vacuum was accurate to dogs. like i know cats consider them their mortal enemies. but ive never owned a dog to know if they too fear the monster vacuum(edited)

L Hornsby

Sometimes they make things by hand (paw), sometimes TeaCup Pup will use Magics

Oh man, my dog can't stand the vacuum. My dog growing up couldn't stand it either.

King Vacuum is based on this awful vacuum my mom had when I was a kid that weighed probably 50 pounds and was super annoying to use. It was called a Kirby Vacuum (not as cool as Kirby from Kirby's Dream Land)

mathtans

Maybe in the sequel they fight a roomba.

L Hornsby

https://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDAwWDMwMA==/z/u4IAAOSwxH1UB0PB/$_35.JPG?set_id=2 this is totally that vacuum

mathtans

Reminds me of the vacuum from "littlest toaster" for some reason.

RebelVampire

we still have a kirby vacuum in my house. XD it is very annoying to use and i support it being the ultimate vacuum enemy

mathtans

"Magic" is too funny.

RebelVampire

as in the strip, math?

cause if you mean the strip, i do wonder how long it was before corgi pup noticed the tail XD

mathtans

The strip I got to, yes. Very "bunny".

OMG, all the feels for that Valentine one, you're right Rebel.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. The strips offer a lot of variety in terms of set-up. Which of the strips did you feel was most relatable as far as the behavior of dogs go? What about that strip makes it this way to you? Of all the strips, which strip played out in a way that you didn’t expect and potentially made you laugh or aww at it? Why did it catch you off guard, and what made the twist likeable? Many of the strips also have positive messages within them. Which strip left the most impact on you in terms of endearment or positive messages behind it? What about the strip left this impact?

next time the pups face a vacuum they can join forces with the commando cats. and together they can win against the roomba army.

mathtans

I don't know much about dog behaviour. I had a newspaper route for 7 years and got bitten once, so mostly I avoid them.

L Hornsby

That's too bad

mathtans

It would be interesting to see the dogs and cats against a common enemy.

L Hornsby

That's true.

mathtans

I didn't expect the 'piff' into the cloud at the bottom of the slide, that was amusing.

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/334958 that was probably the strip i found probably reflected dog behavior the most. also qualifies as one where i didnt expect the twist. i legit thought they were gonna make a nice garden.

and then they didnt

although poor scruffy pup

missed out on dirt rolling

mathtans

Dog gonnit.

RebelVampire

oh no the puns have begun XD

L Hornsby

If the Princess Pups did more than just bark and make dog noises, there would be A Lot More Puns

RebelVampire

they can just write a dog pun book

send the commando cats a free copy

mathtans

The "silent movie" aspect is pretty cool though.

RebelVampire

yeah i think it works well cause theyre all very expressive and the scenarios have that right blend of simplicity where the stories are always understandable and relateable

mathtans

Actually, if it counts, some of the author comments at the end give me unexpected laughs too. (How DO they get a pool in the clouds?)

Yeah, expressions are great. Some of the posing in particular is fun to read.

RebelVampire

ya know im not gonna question a pool in the clouds cause tbh the beginning made me wonder if they were in doggie heaven since cloud imagery usually equals heaven XD

so i will always be thankful its not

and they just live in the clouds

L Hornsby

LOL oh no, I hadn't thought of that

mathtans

Pug Pup seems so amusingly clueless. Might be my fave, which is weird, because I'm not a fan of the wrinkly look in real life.

I was wondering if they were angels or something initially too. Like would they be visiting earth and seeing humans or something.

L Hornsby

Nah, they just live in the clouds and occasionally slide down rainbows to visit the ground

mathtans

Now alien meeples. Meeples is the best word.

L Hornsby

It really is!

RebelVampire

im glad im not the only one who thought the dead angel thing. XD cause that would be a morbid start.

mathtans

Constantly amazed at how much gets conveyed without dialogue in these strips. So good.

Like the no cookie stuff in the space sequence.

Or the ghost encounter and telling stories.

RebelVampire

this is another strip i think had a twist in that i overguessed. https://tapas.io/episode/616509 cause when the dinosaur leg went missing i was like "nah it couldnt be this is gonna be some doggie profiling." but then nope, it was my favorite pup being super obvious about it. which also surprised me cause totally thought pug pup would be the bone thief if it was anyone.

mathtans

Or for that matter, Santa and the goat.

Heh, nice parody of the venus oyster shell painting in that one.

RebelVampire

i questioned corgi pup's choice of gift. i wasnt sure if scruffy pup would still even like goats after the goat world incident XD

and then the goat tried to eat scruffy pup, the nightmares relived O_O

mathtans

I like the one just before that, with the fly needing it's own book. Would not have called that.

Goats are tricky. Like elves.

L Hornsby

Corgi Pup assumed that Scruffy Pup's love of goats hadn't wavered after such and experience at Goat World. But Corgi Pup probably should have examined closer to see that it was a Baby Krampus she was buying instead

RebelVampire

i did like the fly needing its own book. also made me aww just cause i love when the pups are being precious like that and putting kindness first. truly model princesses

mathtans

I hate getting a krampus in my legus.

RebelVampire

at least santa saved the day

mathtans

Yis, very precious attitudes.

RebelVampire

another strip i loved that had a twist was https://tapas.io/episode/833602

like i assumed pug pup would defy the odds and catch something

did not expect it to be scruffy pup XD

and those looks of surprise are priceless XD

mathtans

I'm learning about pineapples.

RebelVampire

haha

i thought it was super lucky teacup pup was the one to get the pineapple

so she could cheat and use the wand

cause idk how the other pups wouldve managed XD

QUESTION 4. The Princess Pups have met with two other pup groups: the CowPoke Pups and the Space Pups. Which of these other groups interested you the most and why? Whether your favorite group, which about each story line did you like? What other groups do you think the Princess Pups might meet? In terms of future stories, do you think we will see the CowPoke Pups or Space Pups again? If so, in what manner might we see them? In general, what shenanigans do you think the Princess Pups will get up to in the future?

i liked both groups, but i think im gonna side with the space pups just cause they had fun things like the ability to turn off gravity. and no gravity makes for some fun parties where you can do lots and lots of things.

mathtans

Huh, I don't think I even clued in that she was the only one with a wand.

RebelVampire

yes it was her prize for defeating king vacuum and being the brave one

mathtans

Space Pups also had alien meeples.

Rebel - I thought it was just her official graduation gift or something, like the others had them in reserve without occasion to use them.

L Hornsby

Oh man, I looked up so many images of Pineapples and how they grow for that Pizza Party story

mathtans

I was wondering how much research was necessary. Ever decide, 'heck with it, they're getting broccoli'?

L Hornsby

TeaCup Pup was passed the mantle of holding The Wand by Fluf Pup after the origin story @mathtans

How DOES broccoli grow?

mathtans

I thought it was just heads in the ground like cauliflower but now I'm not sure. O.o

L Hornsby

It grows up and is quite green lol

still has leafy things around it like the Pineapples

mathtans

Still reading during the chat. I like how the unconventional topping of a cupcake helped save the day.

L Hornsby

I did like drawing the Alien Meeples a lot

RebelVampire

broccoli is a weird looking plant ill say. although would probably have been easier than pineapple. but then again idk how many pups would want broccoli on the pizza. not that i think pug pup would complain. i just assume pug pup will eat anything edible. maybe some not edible things

i really liked in the cowpoke pups storyline where they had to catch up to a moving train and jump on. it felt very epically western and made me admire how cool and brave the pups are.

mathtans

Yeah, pug doesn't seem too fussy.

Also, the Space Pups returned to create an eclipse, that was an unexpected guest starring role.

L Hornsby

The Solar Eclipse in 2017 was sooooooo cool! And it totally looked like a giant sandwich cookie to me

RebelVampire

its kind of a shame the space pups didnt invite the princess pups again to eat the sandwich cookie

i kind of hope we see the space pups again as the call the princess pups needing help on a space mission

ultimate space adventure

L Hornsby

They'll probably show up again

mathtans

I kinda remember that eclipse, aye.

Hm, are there also pups that live in the sea? Mer-Pups?

L Hornsby

The Space Pups are based on my dog Hannah and her brother Walter. We adopted Hannah and someone else adopted Walter a few days later

There might be Mer-Pups?

RebelVampire

omg

i totally support mer pups

that would adorable

and cool undersea parties can be had

with colorful coral

L Hornsby

The Pups might end up going back in time first. I'm a sucker for drawing dinosaurs

mathtans

Oooh, time travel is always fun. Hopefully they don't go for the bones of the live dinosaurs.

I've reached the Go West part.

RebelVampire

that also sounds awesome. can just picture them running from the trex. then making friends. all sitting around having cookies together

L Hornsby

Prehistoric cookies

or maybe just dinosaur shaped ones

RebelVampire

thatd also be cute. endear the dinosaurs to them by making cookie self portraits.

i wonder if there are secret agent pups

who go around everywhere wearing sunglasses

L Hornsby

maybe?

mathtans

(Sorry, little one was fussing, had to run off for a moment.)

Just wanted to say before the end, the goat eyes are interestingly unique, makes it easy to tell them apart from the rest of the animals.

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/1197013 i really love this vulture train dude with the hat btw. i actually hope we see the vultures again cause they had such great expressive and evil faces

mathtans

Those vultures are pretty petty.

L Hornsby

Vultures are both cute and terrifying in real life

And the same with goats. I wanted to use Actual Goat Eyes because they're SO WEIRD

mathtans

Oh hey, caught up just in time. I like the one balloon falling down.

Goats + Pineapples = wha?

RebelVampire

as we draw to a close, i just want to say the comic was really nice and a great way to start off the year i think. there were just so many heartwarming moments and i loved the immense kindness the pups always showed despite adversity

L Hornsby

A Goat Pineapple?!?

mathtans

Pineapple with slanty eyes.

Agreed, Rebel.

L Hornsby

Aw, thanks guys! I don't have a huge following so it was good to hear from some readers!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Lindsay Hornsby, as well, for making Princess Pups. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Lindsay Hornsby’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups

Lindsay Hornsby’s Gumroad Shop: https://gumroad.com/fizzlebit

Lindsay Hornsby’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Fizzlebit

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Chasing Little Lights by Evelyn Shi. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, January 10th, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: http://www.cllcomic.com/

Comic’s Tapas Mirror: https://tapas.io/series/cll