#experienced home tutor

[perfecttutor0]

Perfect Tutor provides home tutors for all subjects and grades. The tutors help students with homework, exams, and classwork. Every tutor is verified to ensure safety and trust. Students receive personalized attention, making learning easier. Perfect Tutor is easy to use and helps parents find the right tutor quickly. It is a reliable platform to improve education at home.

[hyckstarz]

can i plzzz request bimbo yn and nerd! mark 🥺🥺🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

of course!! this was a fun request to write ♡

my little nerd | l.mk

pairing. nerd!mark lee x bimbo!reader

word count. 2k

genre. smut

warnings. 18+ minors do not interact, use of pet name (baby), choking, oral (m. receiving), degrading language (slut, whore), unprotected sex, bimbo reader, shy/dom Mark, breast play/fucking

Mark didn't know how he got here. Maybe it was her honey, dewy voice that spoke pretty little words, or her manicured nails that drummed along the desk as she peered sexily up at him through her lashes. Either way, he found himself agreeing to tutor her, at her home, in the evenings of every weekend. He groaned out in frustration and disbelief, clutching the healthy locks of his hair.

Y/N giggles at his weird antics, placing a hand on his leg as she rubs circles on his inner thigh, which immediately has his eyes snapping to her, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, "What's got you so worked up? Is it because I don't get what meiosis is? It's just sex, is it not? I'll ace it after you give me a demonstration."

Mark really doesn't know how he got here. But he finds himself leaning in, blaming it on her intoxicatingly cheap, soapy perfume and her words that get increasingly quiet, drawing him in like a siren's call. He snaps out of it, however. His leg bounces under the table in an attempt to get her hand off of his thigh before he loses it again, "It's not sex exactly... not in the way you're thinking of, at least," he grumbles, trying desperately to distract himself from her plush, glossy lips that puckered cluelessly. Pushing his glasses back up his nose, he turns to his study notes, "Besides, I'm only here to tutor you, you said you needed to pass science."

She pouts obnoxiously at him. Yet, when his gaze catches a glimpse of those perfect, god-crafted tits, he really feels like he should be paying a thousand thank yous to the man above, expressing his immense gratitude for having them press against his arm as she continues to whine with that sugary voice, "But I learn through hands-on experience! And sex is sex... how is it any different?"

Maybe Mark should take back his gratitude. There was no way his tutoring alone could save her from failing science in only two months and, he was starting to believe even miracles weren't strong enough, "No, it's different with cells. You'd know this if you paid attention yesterday. We went over this during class."

She scoffs, pulling back and fixing her top whilst looking at the mirror on her desk, pushing her breasts together which has Mark reeling, "Who cares about class when I have such a cute tutor?" She grins at him, leaning in enough for him to feel her warm breath brush against his lips, "What about you?"

"W-what about me?" Mark squeaks, his voice cracking at the close proximity.

She giggles, "Do you think I'm cute?" Her hand comes up to cup his jaw, thumb grazing his bottom lip as she watches it jutter out, entranced.

Mark squirms in his seat, cheeks a bright red under her intense gaze, "Yeah... you're cute."

He doesn't know what came over him, but fuck was she perfection. Sure, all of God's works were perfection, but when she pulls back to unzip her top, exposing the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra this whole time, he'd come to the conclusion that she needed a word that went beyond perfection itself.

"Fuck," he kept his eyes locked on the soft mounds and perky nipples. He wondered how they'd fit in his hand and whether they were as soft and plush as they looked.

"Surprised I wasn't wearing a bra? Well, it's one less garment to fiddle with," she giggles dumbly, leaning in to whisper in his ear, "that includes underwear. Wanna find out if I'm wearing any?"

But Mark, being the barely experienced, book nerd he was, forces his eyes to bore into the textbook in front of him. He tries to make sense of the words on the page, but it's hard when he can see her pretty, perky tits in the corner of his eyes. He desperately shifts in the chair, trying to calm his raging hard on. He hated how easily he was turned on by her. She was an air head. A gorgeous, sexy, air head that drove him insane despite being used by hundreds of men for being a cumslut.

She pouts, "You're gonna ignore me?"

Mark swallows thickly, eyes fluttering shut as if to drown out the pretty voice from the pretty woman next to him, "We-," he clears his throat, "We need to study... I need you to pass-"

Suddenly, she swivles his chair to the side, planting her knees to the carpeted floor as she lodges herself between his legs, "We can study after, Mark. I need your cum... need you to paint my mouth white, I can't focus otherwise. Not when you're so cute," she bites her lip, doe eyes pleading as she looks up at him.

It felt like Mark had experienced whiplash with the way she fit so perfectly between his legs. He was starting to believe her middle name was indeed... perfect. He moaned, clutching onto the armrests as she licked over his clothed crotch, yanking him back towards reality. Another lick, and he swore he could see stars, "Fuuuck, Y/N... w-we can't."

Mark clutched desperately onto the armrests, knuckles turning white out of fear that, if he were to let go, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going all the way with her.

"We can't or you won't?" She slowly starts to unzip his jeans, giving him the option to pull away. But, when he doesn't, she feels the anticipation start to throb between her legs, and she has to rub her thighs together when his cock springs free from the confines of his boxers, "Gonna make you feel so good, my little nerd. Wanna taste you so bad."

In a heartbeat, she leaves kitten licks along the raging red head of his cock. Each lick causes him to shiver, "S-stop teasing..," Mark groans, peering down at her through hooded eyes.

She swipes her flat tongue up his length before swallowing him whole. He bucks into her mouth, desperately grasping at her long hair, bunching it up and shoving her down on his cock, "Fuck... your mouth... so pretty wrapped around my dick..."

She hums, sending shivers through his body. Her tongue swirls around his length, sucking and bobbing her head with a vigour that leaves him breathless and, the erotic sight of her drool dribbling down his length, has him panting. When she pulls away with a pop, a string of saliva connecting between her lips and his dick, Mark can see the whore beneath the pretty exterior, and his dick twitches at the sight. He stops her before she goes back in, "Tits... wanna fuck your tits."

That alone has her clenching around nothing. She sits up, wrapping her breasts around his dick, "Go ahead, make a mess of them, baby."

Mark groans at how pliant she is. Slowly, he ruts into them, loving how soft they feel, and he can't hold back anymore. He picks up the pace, rocking his hips between her breasts and he swears this is better than any fantasy he could cook up about her. At the same time of his thrusts, she rubs her breasts around his length, spreading the wetness from having sucked him off, watching his dick twitch and the skin tug with every drag.

But Mark forces himself to pull away before he reaches his orgasm, and Y/N starts to complain "Mark, why did you stop?"

He sends her a lazy chuckle, one that has her swooning. Sure, she could get with any man without a care, but Mark was attractive in a subtle, cute and sexy way, as she now realises with the look he sends her. She swallows hard, his heavy gaze raking over her smaller frame. She swears if he continues to look at her like this, she'd come on the spot and stain her favourite rug.

Mark grabs at her waist impatiently, yanking her out of her thoughts and manhandling her as he hoists her up onto the desk without much gentleness, "Look at you, you'd sooner bend over for any dick than pass your exams," his hand cups her cheeks, squishing them roughly, "If you're gonna act like a whore, maybe I'll treat you like one."

Without warning, he reaches under her skirt, feeling the cloth of her panties, "So, you were wearing one." His lip twitches into a smirk, tugging her underwear to the side as he thrusts into her, and it's a feeling she found herself addicted to — getting filled up, used and fucked until she couldn't form coherent thoughts. Sharp moans pushed out of her throat, echoing in the room as she rocked her hips against his, spreading her legs wider for him.

Mark's hand moves down to her throat, applying enough pressure to have her gasping, "You're just a slut. Say it."

"I-I'm a slut," she moaned, her eyes rolling back and jaw going slack. She could feel every ridge and vein of his cock as it stretched her out, pulling back just enough before slamming back in. He was the perfect size, and she swears she lucked out after perfecting her dick radar. That little nerd tucked away in the corner of the library, unsuspecting and easily flustered... who would have thought he'd be so... commanding and intense. It made her clench around his dick, earning a groan from him as his glasses slipped further down the bridge of his nose, already fogged up from their coupling.

Mark leant in, his hot breath tickling her neck, "That's right... my filthy slut," he nips at her skin, trailing open-mouthed, sloppy kisses along the column of her neck, biting into her skin as he ruts into her, "So... so sexy..."

Her fingers tangle in his hair, tugging with each thrust. She loved the feel of his soft lips against her skin and the cool metal of his glasses bumping into her jaw, "Your f-filth... filthy slut..."

But it wasn't enough. It never was enough. Mark pulls out of her, flipping her over so that her ass presented itself to him tantalisingly under her mini skirt. He groaned at the sight, spreading her apart as his dick rubbed along her folds, teasing her entrance, before pushing back in. This new angle had her knees buckling, gasping as her clit brushed over the desk with every hard thrust. Her manicured nails dug into the desk, gripping as spit dribbled down her chin. She hadn't been this fucked out in so long, and it was none other than a nerd who had the slut seeing stars.

She cries out, and Mark leans over, tilting her face to meet his lips, kissing her lazily, swallowing her wanton moans and smearing her spit along her cheeks, "So dirty."

Y/N rocks her hips back against his and Mark grabs a fistful of her hair, pressing her face to the desk, free hand splayed out on her lower back to hold her firmly down as he picked up the pace, feeling his climax approaching, "Fuck, I'm close... wanna cum on your tits though, like I was supposed to."

She concluded he was a tit-obsessed nerd, but she loved every second of it. She nods her head eagerly, "I don't care where you cum as long as it's on or in me," she begged, desperation eating away at her as she came, shuddering under him, "please... please..."

Mark smirked, yanking her head back enough so that she lay on her side as he pulled out, cum spurting on the side of her face and along her breasts. He leans in, suckling on her cum-coated nipple before moving up her body to kiss her. She tasted sweet, mixed with the saltiness of his release, and he swore again that she was perfect. Perfect just like this; fucked out and smeared with his cum as she babbled pretty, incoherent words.

© hyckstarz

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[dnvrsmedia]

i fear the voices are making me write for sev again (i miss her bad)

so

sevika falling for nerd!reader (this is totally NOT self indulgent wdym??)

SFW

You both met when silco decided to hire you

And by hire you, he threatened to kill you if you didn’t acquire the money your father owed him (he didn’t care if your father died. he needed his money some way or another)

You, being a modest engineer, did not have much to offer

Except for your brains

Sev was definitely skeptical about you when you first landed on the team (but let’s be fr when is she ever open minded and welcoming)

She was tasked to keep you company whilst doing your various tasks (silco calls it bodygaurding, sevika calls it babysitting)

Sevika likes to pretend that she hates brooding around you but that would be a lie.

You’re sitting around doing your work.

glasses sliding down the bridge of your nose, making your concentrated face.

& Sev’s whole body is lit on fire.

oh don’t get me started on when she hears you in your meetings talking your smart shit

she’s practically drooling

CALLING ! YOU ! COOKIE !

this started off as her calling you a smart cookie (absolutely trying to be demeaning when she first met you)

and when you finally chip her walls the nickname spirals into something endearing

“Cookie, cmere real quick”

“Ya know i don’t understand that smart shit, cookie”

“ Maybe I need tutoring, Cooks”

She absolutely will stare down the men in your meetings who try and demean you.

“ Look, I don’t know what the fuck you guys are talking about but she does. Next time you interrupt her it’ll be my foot up your ass”

Will ALWAYS be asking you to tinker with her arm

You’ve gotten caught staring at her one too many times

not just because she’s ya know so delicious looking

But because you’re thinking about the many many different ways you can upgrade her!

This obviously did not bode well when she first met you!

Barring her teeth at you and the whole 9 yards but that didn’t stop the pull you both felt for each other!!!

She revels in making you nervous

At the start, Sevika used to use her “scary lady status” (you’ve coined this term) on you

she’d absolutely tower over you with a :| face just to push your glasses up your nose

she’d watch your breath catch in your chest as your heart pounded heavily with a smirk

now! she uses her scary lady status on you for good!

she absolutely will threaten you to take breaks

So many times has she found you sitting at your desk, mouth open, and softly snoring

Meanwhile, her heart breaks into thousands of little pieces

“Cooks, you work too hard. How many times do I gotta check you’re here before going home?”

She shakes her head as she hoisted your body over her brute shoulder.

she absolutely loves you reading to her

after a long day of work for the both of you

you can bet on it that Sev will mope around you until you’re ready to lay with her head on your lap

Sev never understood the whole point of reading growing up

Having a rocky relationship with her family (her dad) she never experienced the warmth being read to could have brought.

So when you offered to read to her after a particularly hard day she thought you were joking

Absolutely within 20 minutes of you reading and scratching her scalp did she comically fall asleep

I mean open mouth dad snoring with drool dripping onto your blanket

but it’s okay because you’d won’t have it any other way :)

[solecize]

°⛧  ‧  ₊   　 　⠀mnemonic 　⠀⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀ [3]

　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 *ੈ  ✩  ‧  ₊  ˚  .ೃ

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: swimmer!jk x female reader, college au, slow burn friends to lovers to ??, fluff, angst, slice of life, coming of age

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut, substance use, college party and hookup culture, mentions of greek life hazing, characters experiencing just about every feeling a lost college student goes through, depictions of and discussions surrounding mental health (depression, anxiety, substance abuse), slow burn ish, disgusting amounts of yearning and clueless pining, yes he's her tutor at one point, yes they're in denial, also features other third gen idols, dare i say found family, there is a beach episode and a fireworks festival too lol

in which a little box of memories tells the story of how you and jeon jungkook slowly, but surely, fell in love against the backdrop of the growing pains of your college years. jungkook presents this box to you as a final gift at graduation and each item in the box is a snapshot frozen in time, capturing the forces that brought the two of you from strangers to friends to more. 

⇢ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐱: masterlist. / prologue. / the loyalty points card from the campus coffee shop. / ticket to the haunted horrors house (admission for two). / a worn out deck of cards. / handwritten no-bake cheesecake recipe. / cd soundtrack for stand by me (1986). / travel brochure to derry beach. / a clipping from the school newspaper. / pieces of confetti. / one empty tequila shooter. / epilogue & the final item.

⇢ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: i'll be updating more often now fingers crossed! there's just one and a half more chapters set in freshman year :)

  the haunted horrors house ticket (admission for two)

 homesickness was real and you couldn’t believe it. you missed the way your parents argued in the kitchen. you could count the number of cracks on your front doorsteps in your daydreams, missing the way you used to watch the sunset from that spot. you missed the local boba tea place, where all the baristas knew your name. you missed home.

 college was freeing, but so suffocating at the same time. by the time sweater weather rolled around, you had yet to accept this unnerving truth and distracted yourself with what you could. clutching your nth wine cooler of the night at a sorority party on the 31st of october, your drunken state left these heavy feelings behind.

 halloween during freshman year lasted eons for everybody. there was a sense of carelessness in the air, infectiously swimming about. even doyeon came out to party on halloween night in a half-assed cat costume, which shocked you. even though it consisted of just an all black outfit and face paint, she made it clear that she wasn’t a fan of greek parties. regardless, the peppermint air of autumn embraced all freshmen like a long lost friend on halloween, where the night never seemed to end.

 “yo! creepy mario and barefoot peach, we’re heading out - you coming?”

 you’d only ever seen parties get broken up by the police in the movies and were baffled to witness a pair of officers shut down tonight’s get together as a result of a noise complaint from the poor family next door. you imagined that it wasn’t fun, living next to a sorority house. when the girls started kicking everyone out, you’d been watching the ordeal from the living room couch with jungkook.

 “hey!” he exclaimed at yeri, who’d been making fun of his fake moustache all night for making him look like a 70s porn star. 

 you snickered. “jungkook, the mustache is a little ridiculous.”

 meanwhile, you’d decided hours ago that you would discard the pair of heels you originally opted for your costume. you were not a stiletto type of girl and immediately regretted your choice of shoes about thirty minutes into arriving at the party. you surely looked silly, lounging around with nothing on your feet, but you refused to even try one more time. 

 thankfully, jungkook decided to accompany you on the couch, as you’d otherwise be abandoned by the rest of your friends who spent their time mingling. yeri had been attempting to set up doyeon with someone from the cheerleading team for the past hour, while seokmin and jaehyun teamed up for a game of beer pong in the backyard. it was fitting, anyway, as the two of you showed up in unplanned matching costumes. yeri had whispered in your ear about how cute you and jungkook looked, but you ignored it.

 jaehyun was standing by the doorway, gesturing for you two to get up. “c’mon!”

 “where are we going?”

 “the fairgrounds!” he responded.

 the local fall fair wasn’t of much interest to you initially, especially since you preferred spending time on campus. you found yourself enchanted by the changing leaves in the quad and the smell of pumpkin spice in your lecture halls. there was something special about the season of fall on a college campus, a buzz of warmth settling in the air. going out into town felt like a hassle, if anything.

 with that, jungkook rose and to your confusion, squatted slightly. he noticed your expression and laughed. 

 jungkook said, “hop on.” 

 you realized that he was telling you to get on his back, to save you from your aching, barefoot feet. it took half a moment, before a grin tugged at your lips and you wrapped your arms around his neck, legs curling around his waist. despite swaying back and forth drunk, he hoisted you on and impressively grabbed your shoes with one arm at the same time. 

 things were just the slightest bit confusing with jungkook. over the past month, a group formed with him, seokmin, jaehyun and your roommates naturally and you’d all been hanging out here and there. you were forming a tiny crush on the attractive male, but then you’d heard that he was hanging out with dahyun - some girl on the women’s swim team. meanwhile, your roommates had been encouraging you to keep meeting different kinds of guys and that freshman year was not the time to be settling down. well, it was mostly doyeon, as yeri was convinced you and jungkook were soulmates. 

 “don’t tie yourself down,” doyeon had said to you one night, after the three of you came back your dorm from the dining hall. you all ran into jungkook and on the way back, yeri was poking fun at your obvious crush.

 yeri cut in. “they’d be cute together, though!”

 “i don’t even think he likes me like that. sometimes, i think he does, then the next day, he fist bumps me like i’m one of his bros.” you groaned, burying your face in your hands.

 you pushed these thoughts away from your mind, as jungkook effortlessly carried you out the front door. most of the other partygoers were walking towards their ubers, while you spotted doyeon’s car at the corner of the intersection. the rest of your friends were already comfortably seated and as it was a five seater, you knew that you’d unfortunately be one to squeeze in. 

 “don’t worry, i have extra shoes in my trunk,” doyeon called out. 

 seokmin sat in the back, pouting. “why are we going to the fair again?”

 “what else do you want to do?” she shot at her cousin. “besides, i’m the one with the car and i don’t want to go to another party.”

 that point was enough to shut him up. at the very least, he began rambling about the ride he wanted to go on.

 the back of the car popped open and jungkook grabbed a pair of hot pink sandals - fitting for your costume, at least. you thanked him as he set you down right on them, a giggle escaping you. the shots you had earlier definitely still had its effects on you.

 when you came around the corner, the three boys were seated in the back and it looked nearly impossible to squeeze in. however, instead of yeri offering to switch with one of them, a mischievous glint shone in her eyes. 

 “y/n, just sit on jungkook’s lap, he’s mostly sober. seokmin or jaehyun will probably throw up on you if you sit on them.”

 jungkook raised an eyebrow at her. “why don’t you just swi - “

 “can you guys decide, please? now? the guy behind me is getting mad,” doyeon cut in.

 right on cue, the car to the back of doyeon’s honked repeatedly. your eyes went wide and had no choice but to take your place on jungkook’s lap. you could have sworn you saw the flash of a smirk on yeri’s face through the rearview mirror. as soon as you sat down, doyeon immediately zoomed off without warning.

 you yelped, but were thankfully saved by the grip of jungkook’s hands on your hips. it was a blessing that it was nightfall, as nobody could see the tint of pink on your cheeks when he did so. 

 “geez, doyeon,” jungkook remarked, while she apologized profusely. “you good, y/n?” he asked, hands still in the same place.

 you nodded. “yeah, thank you. i thought i was going to die.” the joke elicited a round of laughter from your friends.

 “i swear i’m a good driver!”

 an hour later, you and your friends were at the fairgrounds, debating on what attraction was up next. it was nearing midnight, yet the event was still bustling and full of life. kids’ laughter chimed in throughout, joyful with the spirit of halloween and the freeing nature of being permitted out late for this special night. salty popcorn filled your lungs along with. . .smoke?

 after getting tired of losing to yeri in every game stand, seokmin led the six of you to the haunted house at the very back of the grounds. the sputtering of its smoke machine sang like a bad song and was slightly concerning, but it was one of the last places that you hadn’t checked out yet. there also happened to be no line and after listening to the boys complain for ten minutes, waiting for the ferris wheel, it was ideal.

 ‘nah. no way i’m going in there,” jaehyun vigorously shook his head upon taking in the exterior, which caused the rest of you to giggle.

 the so-called ‘haunted horrors house’ was a towering sight to behold, structured to mimic gothic architecture in a way that did not fit in with a cheesy fall carnival. other than the neon green sign that read its name, its old and run-down exterior fit the bill of an actual haunted house. the columns were lined with cobwebs and its windows highlighted by cracks and bloody handprints. just from the outside, you could notice flickering lights and hear echoes of giggles - even if it was just a sound recording of some kind, it was bone-chilling. 

 yeri teased, “what, are you scared?”

 although he remained silent, you noticed the way jungkook sighed upon the suggestion. it seemed like jaehyun wasn’t the only person who didn’t want to be there. he caught your eye and nervously turned away.

 “you can only buy a ticket in pairs,” advised the person manning the front of the haunted house. she pointed to the sign by the register, which informed customers as such.

 seokmin continued insisting that everyone go for the experience, as he offered to partner up with jaehyun to ease his fears. that left yeri with doyeon and all of a sudden, the four of your friends looked at you and jungkook expectantly. 

 there didn’t appear to be a choice in the matter - you and jungkook were going to be paired up.

 zero qualms emerged, though, until no one stepped up to be the first ones to go. the booth attendant began growing impatient, as there was now a line forming behind your group of friends. her bored eyes fell on the two of you.

 “hey. mario and peach. it’s going to be ten bucks, cash only.”

 even though he didn’t have an ounce of excitement on his face, jungkook pulled out his wallet without hesitation. as if on cue, you reached for your phone in your back pocket, already ready to electronically transfer him your half of the ticket money. he noticed and put his hand up.

 jungkook said, “don’t worry about it, it’s on me.”

 “it’s fine, i got it,” you insisted, as he handed the girl a ten and still held his hand up in protest.

 she stuck the bill into her tin and pointed at the sign behind her, prompting the two of you to sign a waiver. there were a set of rules for each participant, basic ones that went over health and safety risks. no attacking the actors, the house was a one way path only, etc. then, she looked back at you and jungkook and narrowed her eyes. her voice fell below a whisper.

 “and there are cameras in there. so no funny business with your boyfriend,” she warned and both you and jungkook were now tomato red in the face. “got that?”

 thankfully, with her quiet volume, none of your friends were able to hear what she said. when the two of you didn’t respond out of embarrassment, you feared that she would repeat the statement again, only this time, louder. so, to avert disaster, you nodded furiously and grabbed jungkook by the arm.

 “yeah! yeahwegotitthanks,” you choked out in one breath, dragging him past the booth attendant and into the haunted house before she could say anything else.

 as soon as you and jungkook stepped into the foyer, the air immediately went icy. the area looked exactly the way you expected it to - ancient and dark. the only source of light was a single candle propped up by the arch into the hallway. hung on the walls were rusty portraits of paintings with faces scratched out by claws. an eerie set of porcelain dolls welcomed you on a shelf, which jungkook jumped at. 

 creepy sounds alarmed you - louder giggling by a child, creaking floors, and unsettling music. you looked back and noticed that the attendant actually locked the front door, hearing the click of a key. no wonder there was a damn waiver.

 goosebumps popped up along your legs, as you shivered. you noticed that your arms weren't as freezing and realized that it was because you were still clutching onto jungkook.

 “oh, sorry!” you yelped, jumping back. 

 it seemed like jungkook was too busy scanning his surroundings, his fear growing with each passing second, despite just standing there. the haunted house had barely begun. he turned back to you, stone cold expression.

 “you won’t make fun of me?” he requested, slowly.

 “as long as you don’t make fun of me.”

 jungkook let out a sigh of relief. as a last resort, he checked the knob of the front door once more, just to see if escape was plausible. he fiddled and fiddled - still locked. 

 at the same time, the two of you met a shared understanding. jungkook held out his arm once more - whether it was for your safety or his own, it wasn’t clear - for you to grab and you did so. you were positive that his grip was even tighter than yours, but you bit back the complaint. poor guy was shaking, but you found it incredibly endearing. 

 “it’s just a fake house, let’s have fun,” you soothed, rubbing his arm playfully.

 he forced a chuckle. “alright, let’s go, princess.” it took a moment for you to realize that he was calling you princess in reference to your costume and not you.

 the two of you trekked forward into the first hallway, where every other lightbulb flickered on and off. several other portraits hung on the walls, depicting some sort of family in each one. the faces were all still scratched out.

 “cool, there’s a storyline or something,” you said, trying to break the tension.

 “AHH!”

 jungkook’s voice filled the hallway when a hand popped out of one of the portraits. you gasped loudly, nearly falling over. that was jump scare number one.

 when you both recovered, you couldn’t help but look at each other and laugh. 

 “i swear, y/n, what happens here stays between us,” he muttered, tugging for you to keep walking forward. you liked the way he took charge and held onto your wrist.

 you replied, “of course.”

 that is, you kept walking forward until you realized all of the doors were blocked off with caution tape. the haunted house was supposed to be one way and you were left confused. where were you supposed to go next? jungkook was wondering the same thing, as he looked around.

 “this is getting kinda weir - oh, shit.” his eyes widened when a new entryway appeared, just as he stepped on a loose plank of wood in the floor. it triggered the opening, revealing a smaller, darker hallway that seemed to be the next part of the house.

 your jaw nearly dropped to the ground. “nah. nuh uh, no way am i going in there!”

 “come on, you’re supposed to be the brave one out of the two of us here,” jungkook groaned, scratching his head.

 you were right. the ten bucks was already spent and the front door was locked. it wasn’t like there was anything going back now. you took a deep breath, imagining yourself in a far away paradise in front of the ocean instead of a creepy haunted house. when you opened your eyes, you had no choice but to shrug it off and pull jungkook into the new hallway.

 some sort of sound recording of whispers and giggling grew louder as you and jungkook crouched down to fit into the entryway. the hallway lead to just one room and as you approached it, the two of you jumped at the sudden sound of a scream that didn’t belong to the two of you.

 jungkook nearly squeezed the life out of you this time.

 “shit! ah, sorry, y/n!” he exclaimed, completely freaked out by the noise. you barely heard it, as you were screaming yourself. you were certain that your friends outside could hear your shared yelling, probably laughing their asses off. 

 the two of you hadn’t even reached the door yet and you saw that it was staged to look like a library of some sort. you and jungkook were practically holding onto each other for dear life now. you were so close to him that you could hear the beating of his heart. another small jump scare occurred when the books began moving on their own, vibrating in place as if possessed by a ghost.

 here, you nearly rammed into the taller man, having whipped around and forgetting he was right behind you. he caught you from toppling over, arms wrapped around your body, and you swore you were close enough to count the number of eyelashes on his lids. his look was intense and you felt dizzy, under a hypnosis that you’d never felt before. he didn’t let go and it wasn’t because of your frightening surroundings. 

 for once, an eerie peace wafted in the air, as silence spread. you and jungkook looked at each other, weary. 

 his lips parted slightly, as he refused to break his gaze. you could feel your heart beating louder and louder, like a relentless drum, and you hoped he wasn’t close enough to feel it. you could have melted into him at that moment, an unknown desire creeping up on you with jungkook just inches away. he was so. . . pretty. and you were drawn to him, a magnet. 

 “you know,” jungkook began, just below a whisper. “i’m kind of glad we did this.”

 you fought a shiver trailing up your spine. “what do you mean by that?” there was only one answer you wanted to hear. 

 you wondered why he wasn’t moving either, as you missed the way his eyes swept over your lips. this wasn’t good - if neither of you moved now, you were under a spell that released all common sense. you wanted to kiss him and you were afraid of getting let down.

 “y/n - “

 at that moment, an actor in a clown costume popped out from behind a bookshelf and a new door simultaneously opened to its left. this time, you and jungkook screamed at the top of your lungs and hand in hand, sprinted out of that door. 

 “eumph. . .jungkook, you’re a little too strong,” you whispered, the first excuse coming to mind, and he immediately loosened up.

 “sorry, sorry!” he apologized profusely. “that thing is going to kill us!”

 “koo, it’s just a costume!” you tried chasisting, despite being scared out of your mind.

 the two of you kept running until you found the next room, which was the kitchen. the cycle of jump scares and actors continued on, as your and jungkook’s shared unwavering nerves bonded you closer the entire time. at some point, both of your laughter filled the air.

 eventually, as soon as the exit sign was in sight, jungkook practically dragged you out with all his might. you were surprised when you met a stream of bright lights upon pushing the last, rusty door open and it turned out to be the outside world, instead of another hidden room or jump scare around the corner. jungkook sighed loudly, as the two of you made it out.

 the shit-eating grins of your friends greeted you. however, it didn’t seem like they were amused at the fright the haunted house gave you two. they all stood exactly where they left you, except they were now all staring intently. you wondered if your screams must have been that loud.

 “was it that bad?” doyeon sang and you eyed her with confusion.

 safe to say, you’d long turned stone cold sober, but were drunk on something else. a swarm of emotions settled at the pit of your stomach, before it was stripped away. you noticed that jungkook had finally broken away from you - his hand was clasped in yours the entire time, even upon exiting the haunted house. it took a second for both of you to notice, as a pink tint stained his cheeks and ears when he did. that was why your friends were grinning.

 “our turn!” seokmin yelled, causing jaehyun to groan and the rest of your friends to laugh at the pair.

 the attention was now off of you and jungkook, but your mind was fixated on the absence of jungkook’s touch for the rest of the night and how it almost felt like something you didn’t realize you needed.

 it seemed like the push and pull game with jungkook went on for a little too long and he found something new to play with. the sideways glances and lingering touches weren’t enough, but you didn’t know what to expect in the first place. the sight wasn’t betrayal by any means, but it didn’t mean that you didn’t harbour a pit of disappointment when you saw jungkook making out with another girl the very next day.

 “halloweekend” was every college student’s favourite made-up holiday, along with march madness and st. patrick’s day. okay, maybe the last one was somewhat of a real holiday, but you’d think it was the biggest deal in the world if you walked onto any college town’s streets during this coveted day. too early into the year, you wouldn’t know just quite yet, too fixated on how jam-packed halloweekend was. 

 you were planning to stay in the next night after the fair. it wasn’t common knowledge to you that you were apparently meant to continue partying into the weekend, even past actual halloween day. this news was rudely broken to you at six pm on that saturday, when a loud banging on the door interrupted your pedicure session with doyeon.

 it was like doyeon could smell her cousin’s antics from a mile away. her lips curved into a scowl, somehow already knowing that it was seokmin in the hallway without needing to be told. you swore that girl was psychic sometimes.

 “leave!” she shouted through the walls, putting down the cherry red nail polish back on the floor with a slam.

 the knocking persisted and doyeon sent you a pointed look when you stood up with a sigh. you sent her one back. at this point in the school year, the two of you were already able to communicate with nonverbal gestures. she resigned with her own sigh, as you continued walking towards the door. you were certain that the two of you were not going to be left alone, which left you with only one choice.

 looking through the peep hole, you burst out into laughter. you had no choice but to open the door.

 “what?” asked doyeon.

 upon swinging the door, her jaw fell. it was hard to not do so, when seokmin and jaehyun stood outside in the most ridiculous elf costumes. or, at least that’s what you assumed they were. seokmin appeared particularly enthusiastic with the most ridiculous grey beard hanging off his chin, its string tucked just underneath the impressively pointy magenta hat on his head. meanwhile, jaehyun looked more embarrassed than anything and you could tell whose idea this was.

 doyeon already had her hand up. “no - ”

 “hear us out - “

 “why would i hear out dopey and bashful?”

 you stifled a snort, stepping aside to let the two fools in. 

 jaehyun raised an eyebrow at doyeon. “those are snow white’s dwarves. wrong fantasy race.” he pointed to his fake ears. 

 she wasn’t listening. she sat in the same place with her arms folded across her chest and simply waited for the explanation.

 turned out that there was a costume contest being held at some frat house. seokmin already convinced yeri and jungkook apparently and thought it would be best to show up in person in order to coax you and doyeon out. 

 “it’s halloweekend! you thought the festivities were over?” he said. 

 it wasn’t too hard to convince the two of you, surprisingly. of course, when you heard jungkook was coming, that was all it took. on the other hand, seokmin bribed his cousin with some pre-rolls and soon, the four of you were on your merry way to meet your other friends. apparently, seokmin changed his pledge from kappa alpha psi to sigma chi (not that you knew the damn difference) all of a sudden and wanted to make a good impression with the whole costume thing.

 dryly, you murmured to doyeon, “you’re so easy to bribe.”

 “what? seokmin has a really good plug and he only gets the pricey shit.” doyeon shrugged.

 you weren’t particularly interested in competing in the contest, so you threw on yeri’s bunny ears from last night and called it a day. 

 the party ended up being just as bustling as the one the night prior. the walls danked like nobody’s business and you felt the humidity of the room as soon as you stepped inside, as there was barely room to walk with the sheer amount of bodies filling the space. the frat house was definitely grimier than last night and you had to hold your breath moving through various vape clouds. seokmin, being a poor freshman pledge, told you and your friends that he would catch up to you later on, as he was assigned door duty.

 “yeri and jungkook are probably somewhere around here,” jaehyun said, voice at the loudest volume you’ve ever heard his quiet self talk at, as he fought to be heard against the booming bass of the party’s speakers.

 it was easy to find yeri, who was sitting on the couch with her fellow cheer team members or model un students - whatever the hell it was from the endless list of extracurriculars that she was involved in.

 “you convinced them!” yeri exclaimed, pleased to see her two roommates out and about.

 jungkook, on the other hand? even easier to find. it was almost impossible to miss the way he sat on a poolside chair with jung eunbi sprawled on his lap, with her tongue down his throat.

 the living area was situated right next to the sliding doors that led to the backyard. as soon as you approached yeri, you could see outside through the floor to ceiling windows and ultimately, the view of him.

 maybe it wasn’t that easy. there was at least fifty people in the backyard and about a dozen more lounging about in the pool. a volleyball strung across the middle and neon lights installed underneath the water shone an impressive array of amethyst, sky blue and bubblegum, reminding you of birthday cake sprinkles. the way your cheeks heated up certainly wasn’t as sweet, but you allowed yourself to get lost in the swirl of led lights to keep your eyes off of jungkook. the speakers outdoors were just as loud as the ones inside, as the bass of some migos song boomed and crawled underneath your skin. 

 “jeez, another one?” jaehyun mused aloud and it forced you to come back to reality.

 yeri turned around and upon noticing jungkook, clicked her tongue. “what the hell?”

 only she seemed to notice your dejected look, but you’d already turned away and pretended to be busy taking a sip of the disgusting jungle juice the frat offered. the drink stung your throat, but not as much as the sight outside stung.

 “what do you mean another one?” doyeon asked, turning to jaehyun.

 “sorry, that sounded objectifying. but,” he shrugged. “kook’s just been on a roll these past few weekends, if you catch my drift.”

 oh.

 you felt your chest crackling like fresh ice, each crevice burning you - mostly with embarrassment, at that. you didn’t have to look at yeri to know that her expression was strewn into one of pity. again, you reminded yourself that this wasn’t betrayal. it was just a silly little crush. jungkook didn’t owe you anything and it wasn’t like you voiced any of these potential feelings to anyone, despite yeri’s encouragement.

 those potential feelings were definitely gnawing at your stomach at this point, as you spared another glance out the window. 

 eunbi was a pretty girl, a sophomore that was the student union treasurer or some shit like that. she was one of those people that everyone on campus knew, somehow amassing a healthy couple of thousand followers on her socials. you remember her from orientation week, giving out t-shirts to freshmen with a blinding white smile. it was the same smile pressing into jungkook’s lips and that’s when you had to turn away again.

 “should we play some pong?” you suggest aloud to no one in particular.

 jaehyun and doyeon were immersed in a heated debate about the moon landing after spotting someone in an astronaut costume. meanwhile, yeri simply stood there in awkward silence and tried to not make it obvious that she noticed the dejected look in your eyes. the three turned their heads towards you and immediately agreed, moving to take over the mostly empty dining table on the other side of the room - thankfully, far away from the backyard.

 “i don’t want to drink beer,” groaned yeri, as you all took your positions around the table.

 sipping on beer turned into taking half shots of smirnoff for each cup during the game. given what you just saw outside, you agreed to the rules without hesitation. 

 as the game begun, you thought back to the past month, getting to know jungkook and his friends. the six of you all saw each other at least once a week and even more often in smaller numbers. it was easy when you all lived in stratton hall. seokmin would sometimes join you and doyeon for breakfast in the dining hall. you and yeri went to the gym a few times, around the same time jungkook would be in the middle of his workout and there was always room for chatting. 

 during the times where it was the six of you, usually out at parties like this or even group study sessions, jungkook never failed to sit next to you. he never failed to joke with you and defend you from seokmin’s teasing.

 maybe you really were looking too much into it. you swore there were lingering looks and one too many late night text conversations about nothing. jaehyun was your partner for the pong game and while he took his shot, you peeked at your phone to reread the last thread of texts you had with jungkook from last night, after the fair.

 saturday november 1   [3:35 am] jungkook 🍓: dude theres like 3 ppl passed out in our hallway lmao did you guys get in okay? [3:36 am] you: yes worry wart haha we made it and didn;t trip over any drunk bodies [3:36 am] jungkook 🍓: WHATEVER  [3:36 am] jungkook 🍓: jaehyun and i almost died getting into our dorm so [3:37 am] you: well you almost died in the haunted house today so congrats [3:37 am] you: you cheated death twice today!! [3:37 am] jungkook 🍓: you’re evil let’s not talk about that place ever again [3:37 am] you: i wish i had my phone to take a picture of ur face it would have been golden blackmail material [3:37 am] jungkook 🍓: [attachments: 1] [3:38 am] you: don’t pout at me :(((( that’s dirty koo [3:38 am] jungkook 🍓: because you’re evil [3:37 am] jungkook 🍓: sleep well princess peach  

but, that wasn’t even the end of the conversation because you and jungkook began exchanging tiktoks and memes for the next hour after that. you wanted to bang your head on the nearest wooden surface. being awful at pong helped alleviate the desire, as with each missed shot came vodka.

 “you guys suck,” yeri cackles, watching another one of her balls sink into the final red solo cup.

 jaehyun groaned next to you, but he was just as bad as the game as you were. you smiled sheepishly at him.

 he held out his hand. “good game. we tried our hardest,” jaehyun said, being a good sport about it. he also took the courtesy of taking the final shot just before that and you silently thanked the heavens. 

 you laughed and shook it. the laugh that came out of your mouth sounded like you needed water, as you were certainly drunk after losing so badly. one of your hands was gripping the ebony of the dining table, as your eyes swept your surroundings for the nearest sink. 

 “i’ll be right back!” you exclaimed to your friends and already left before any of them could offer their companionship.

 the song playing in the background was that one katy perry song about dancing on table tops and funnily enough, there was a gaggle of girls dressed up as charlie’s angels doing so. you prayed that none of them would fall on top of you as you squeezed across the room.

 unlike last night, you learned your lesson and did not wear a ridiculous pair of heels. you hadn’t even given your costume a second thought when seokmin and jaehyun barged into your dorm earlier that evening. yet, somehow, you were having a harder time walking tonight.

 you thought it was just the bass of the music throwing you off guard, but you realized you were genuinely swaying back and forth a few seconds later. 

 “shit! fuck!”

 it was like one of those slow motion videos you’ve seen online of disaster striking out of nowhere. a car crash or something. you saw the big, burly guy come your way without even looking straight and you shouldn’t have trusted him to get out of the way. he crashed into you before you could even process what was happening - hell, your swaying back and forth made it so that you were practically leaning into it.

 with a gasp, your entire upper body was soaked in the disgusting jungle juice that was offered to you earlier. in a murky maroon colour, it not only seeped through your white shirt and stained it, but your bra was now visible. you only noticed this because everyone around you decided to stare right into your chest.

 “shoot, i’m sorry -” the guy began, but he was slurring and obviously not in the right state of mind.

 you stuttered, feeling heat creep up on your cheeks at the feeling of dozens of pairs of eyes on you. in your inebriated state, you didn’t even know what to say. you’d never had so much unwanted attention in your life before and you thought you were about to shrivel up and, well, die. 

 “i - “

 then, you felt something heavy drape over your shoulders and the scent of sandalwood and whisky filled your senses. when you looked up to see what it was - or rather, who - he already had your wrist clasped in his grip and was tugging you to another room.

 jungkook.

 he was leading you through the house and you heard him cuss when the two of you stumbled upon an insane line for the bathroom. jungkook looked back at you for the first time, concern glimmering in his eyes. you looked down and it was his denim jacket that he put over your shoulders.

 “one sec, there’s gotta be a free bathroom upstairs,” he says calmly, peering over to the staircase. “are you okay to go up the stairs?”

 “mhmm,” is all that you could muster, too stunned at what just happened and how he just appeared out of nowhere.

 jungkook gave you one of those boyish, crooked smiles that you liked. he gently led you to the staircase, one hand on your back. 

 “where’d you come from?” you asked, as if you didn’t already know.

 he answered while still steering you up each step. “i was in the backyard. i was waiting for you guys to all come and when i came inside, yeri said that you went to get some water.”

 when he led you into the bathroom, you noticed that he had a bottle of water in his hand. jungkook noticed and chuckled.

 “i figured you’d have a hard time looking for it. the frat is kinda stingy with water and i wouldn’t trust their sinks.”

 you managed to snort. “again, always giving me beverages.”

 jungkook put the toilet seat down for you to sit on and handed you the water bottle. earlier, you didn’t get a chance to even notice his attire. he was wearing just plain blue jeans and a white tank top with a flannel around his waist, maybe his hair styled slightly different.

 “koo, are you. .  .a plumber?”

 he let out a bark of laughter at that. “no, stupid.” jungkook points to his hair slicked with pomade and his discarded denim jacket on your shoulders. “a greaser, actually. i put all my effort into mario and got lazy today.”

 “same.” you shrugged and pointed to your forgotten bunny ears. 

 jungkook let out a fake yawn. “booooring. recycling your friend’s costume. super lame, y/n,” he teased and you smacked his arm for it.

 “you’re literally just wearing denim, don’t talk to me about being boring,” you shot back.

 jungkook had obviously just found random clothes in his closet and put hair product in, calling it a day. you figured that the invite was also last minute for him. 

 “are you a john travolta greaser or a matt dillon one?”

 “obviously matt dillon. he’s way cooler, “ jungkook scoffed. “but, i got summer nights on my playlist and i promise you, i’ll never skip that shit. best song ever.”

 the two of you fell into your usual banter for the next few minutes, conversation easy as ever. jungkook poked a little bit of fun at you for what happened downstairs, which you accepted with a huff. 

 “halloweekend is not for the weak,” he chuckled, leaning against the counter. 

 his bare arms made for a clear view of his tattoos, which were rapidly increasing since the start of the school year alone. you tried not to stare, instead pretending to find the marble tiles of the bathroom fascinating.

 you looked at his denim jacket around your shoulders and cursed aloud. “oh fuck. i’m sorry, jungkook, there’s a bit of jungle juice on it - “

 “it’s fine, really,” jungkook interrupted without hesitation. “there was no way i was gonna leave you down there like that.”

 the realization that jungkook also saw your soaked shirt was a bit sobering and it also made you remember that the two of you were sitting in a random bathroom. the pause also seemed to help jungkook in remembering as well and he pushed off the counter. 

 jungkook untied the flannel around his waist and held it out to you. “here, get dressed. i’m sure you don’t want to walk around with red 40 all over your body,” he chuckled.

 you blinked, not expecting the gesture. “oh. shit - thank you, jungkook,” you said, genuinely grateful.

 he grinned. “and drink that water. don’t worry, i’ll be at your service all night to give you more beverages, milady.”

 “whatever.” you playfully rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop the matching grin forming at the corner of your lips.

 “want me to wait for you?” jungkook asked and you shook your head, as he’d already done more than enough. “okay. i’ll be downstairs where the others are.”

 the end of halloweekend was certainly not as fun as the beginning, but you left that party smelling of jungkook’s cologne. even after you returned to your friends, jungkook waved you off when you tried handing his jacket back to him and said to keep it if you got cold. the rest of the night wasn’t as eventful, thankfully, and you nearly forgot about what you saw earlier. 

 it did help that you never heard about eunbi ever again, so you figured it was just some sort of drunken makeout session. you and jungkook continued to operate as normal, but for the time being, you didn’t allow yourself to get your hopes again. this was college and people just did that sort of thing, the “casual” thing. you accepted it and even began to indulge in it yourself as the year went on. 

 all in all, you decided you didn’t need a relationship right now either, between school and transitioning into this new life. jungkook was your friend for now and soon, would become your best friend. of course, that’s where it always gets complicated.

⇢ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @fancypeacepersona @petiteparler @lanie97 @httpjeonlicious @bleumornings @rpwprpwprpwprw @kikiflwr @kissyfacekoo @knivesdoingcartwheels @joyjunk @jksusawife @haru-jiminn @fancypeacepersona @softhaes @whoa-jo @kooloveys @mar-lo-pap @seokjinthescientist (reply to be tagged and if i forgot to tag you!)

[heartschampion]

we fell in love in october — masterlist

PAIRING. ethan landry x fem!reader

SUMMARY. in which you make a bet with your boyfriend, ethan, the night before the start of october. thirty-one days of sex.

CONTENT. no ghostface!au, smut, this is for kinktober so every chapter has its own thing going on i GUESS?, established relationship, slightly experienced!ethan, inexperienced!reader, they basically learn their kinks and stuff throughout the story, fluff (surprise), no beta, not proofread.

STATUS. upcoming.

AN. chapters aren't set in stone so they could change. i'm like half dead while typing this so if there's a mistake pls tell me.

PLAYLIST.

⸻ INDEX.

00. SEPTEMBER 30TH

an innocent night leads to a month of filth.

01. OCTOBER 1ST

morning sex with ethan is always the best way to start off your day.

02. OCTOBER 2ND

you and ethan decide to take a big step in your relationship and have unprotected sex for the first time.

03. OCTOBER 3RD

after a long day of classes, a warm shower is all you need. and your boyfriend in there for some fun.

04. OCTOBER 4TH

shopping with tara leads to buying a little gift as a surprise for both of your boyfriends.

05. OCTOBER 5TH

ethan is out with chad for a 'boys night,' but you can't help but be desperate for his attention even miles away.

06. OCTOBER 6TH

ethan pushes you to your limits.

07. OCTOBER 7TH

an unexpected turn of events leads to discovering something new about your boyfriend.

08. OCTOBER 8TH

sex couldn't get any better with a little extra help.

09. OCTOBER 9TH

everyone needs a helping hand, or mouth.

10. OCTOBER 10TH

you and ethan recreate a scene from a book, taking on the roles of the characters.

11. OCTOBER 11TH

a college frat party isn't a likely place you'd find yourself having sex. especially not with the constant pounding on the door. ethan doesn't seem to care.

12. OCTOBER 12TH

hearing tara rave about aphrodisiacs, you decide to give them a try.

13. OCTOBER 13TH

you let ethan come in you for the first time.

14. OCTOBER 14TH

ethan becomes obsessed with the idea of breeding you, and you're no better.

15. OCTOBER 15TH

sometimes you just need a mouth to murmur sweet nothings into you to really lay back and relax.

16. OCTOBER 16TH

you find yourself a little tied up.

17. OCTOBER 17TH

ethan can't help but wrap his hands around your pretty little neck as he fucks you.

18. OCTOBER 18TH

the phone starts ringing mid session. ethan urges you to answer.

19. OCTOBER 19TH

ethan's partner for his econ project can't seem to keep her hands to herself. your jealousy gets the better of you and you decide to show who he belongs to.

20. OCTOBER 20TH

the group is out for a night of fun, unaware of the game being held between you and ethan.

21. OCTOBER 21ST

hopefully no one notices your hands down the pants of your boyfriend.

22. OCTOBER 22ND

there's nothing more enticing than what you can't see.

23. OCTOBER 23RD

you let ethan fuck you in your sleep after he comes home late.

24. OCTOBER 24TH

watching each other get off turns out to be more intimate than you thought it would be. the only rule is no touching.

25. OCTOBER 25TH

you and ethan get shit-faced drunk, unable to keep your hands to yourselves any longer.

26. OCTOBER 26TH

after the other night, you want to know what it's like to be ethan's little pet.

27. OCTOBER 27TH

cockwarming ethan as he tutors you.

28. OCTOBER 28TH

he much as he gets off on giving you pleasure, he finds just as much amusement in denying it from you.

29. OCTOBER 29TH

you finally let ethan fuck you from the back.

30. OCTOBER 30TH

october is coming close to an end, so the two of you decide to make a little reminder of your time together.

31. OCTOBER 31ST

the best thing about sex with ethan landry is the aftercare he gives afterwards.

32. NOVEMBER 1ST

you get a little more than you bargained for.

[h0neybane]

MAGIKEY (TWST AU) BY @quartztwst !!

im going to PASS AWAAAAYYYYY IM SOSO TIRED. BUT ITS DONE. but anyway, more on evelyn...

Evelyn [Magikey User "Luna Luceat"]

“Hurry up, I'm gonna pass out."

Evelyn is an 18 year old girl and has been a magical girl for 4 years, since she was 14. In her magical girl form, she comes off as mysterious and aloof... but she's really just thinking about going home. She has occasionally breached the top 10 of Magical popularity rankings, but she mostly tries to keep to herself, vanishing immediately after her work is done. Oftentimes, she finished things so quick that the public is unaware.

A quiet, sleepy girl who is jaded from her years as a magical girl.

Status:

Mental/Emotional Strength: ★★★★☆ (She's hard to crack since she's used to her job, but her constant exhaustion can become a vulnerability if left untreated for too long.)

Physical Strength: ★★★☆☆ (She's moderately strong as her staff is fairly hefty, and she does swing with it sometimes.)

Stamina: ★★☆☆☆ (This girl is tired as FUCK LMFAO. She uses her little floating platform to move because she doesn't want to actually run.)

Strategy: ★★★★★ (Evelyn is very calculated with her moves as her goal is to get the job done as fast as possible to go home and SLEEP.)

Strengths: Evelyn is very experienced and keeps a close eye on all of her teammates, making sure they can operate effectively. She is especially strong during the nighttime in a full moon.

Weaknesses: Evelyn is constantly exhausted because she only works during the nighttime as that is when her powers are most effective. A daytime attack would leave her extremely vulnerable.

Evelyn lives with her little brother in their childhood home. Their parents are usually overseas on business trips, so they don't see them in person very often. Evelyn's brother is aware that she works during the night time, but doesn't know that she's a magical girl.

Evelyn grew up very sheltered, being homeschooled by tutors hired by her parents. She was very lonely and she didn't really speak to her brother. She accumulated a massive amount of hobbies to pass time, one of those being gazing at the moon on her balcony, wishing for something to change.

Her wish was granted the night of her 14th birthday, with her magikey falling into her hands after gazing at the moon for the nth time. She eagerly and naively accepted, thinking that this was everything she hoped for.

Unfortunately, she soon came to realize that the nature of her abilities forced her to be sleep deprived if she wanted to do anything much outside of being a magical girl. After her second year of being a magical girl, her enthusiasm fully died, and now she just tries to get by until she can go home. (she still really likes her outfit though, LOL)

After a shift as a magical girl, Evelyn will usually rush inside a convience store, grab snacks, pay and bolt home. She hates staying for overtime even by 5 minutes... though, she's willing to grab some stuff for her brother if he asks for it.

Evelyn is technically enrolled in theMagikey Training School, but she rarely shows up to classes. If she does, she's usually sleeping in them, though she doesn't mind a chance to show off once in a while. The instructors tend to leave her alone whenever this happens, as they're aware of how hard she works.

She does try to be nice towards her juniors though. She fetches them treats once in a while.

uncharted lore territory!! i didnt watch madoka magica or anything so idk if this fits in at all so im warning in advance lol. this is adjacent to evelyn's ACTUAL lore within the original canon twst, which is why it's here. i will make a separate post explaining further later on

Evelyn has a secret. One that isn't her being a magical girl. She has not told crowley, nor any of her magical colleagues, and she does not intend to— at least not for now. However, this secret does leave her susceptible to... negative feelings.

tag list!

@taruruchi @honeyedpearcrushh @boopshoops @scint1llat3

@h2llish @viperbunnies @buttholesparkles @oya-oya-okay @cheerleaderman

@qsoap @angelwishess @jadelover69 @skriblee-ksk @lychee-face

[etherealily]

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Alexei Vronsky + fem!reader.

My other Vronsky fics. If you have the time.

Warnings : None. Perhaps lack of accuracy. I'm not exactly a history buff.

You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.

Desc. : "...then what did you do?" (did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room?)

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Adolescence, to some, is a wonderful time, and to others, is a nightmare. Usually, it is the former for the elderly and the latter for the actual adolescents themselves. However, when one is in the moment, when one is the adolescent in question? It is a freeing sort of nightmare.

And that is what you were experiencing, sitting there with your best mates, the ones you'd grown up with, known nearly since birth, on the dusk of your eighteenth birthday.

"And to the newly society-introduced angel!"

You waved your friends off, burying your face in your hand as they all raised their glasses. "Alright, alright."

"Oi, c'mon, none of that shyness, you're a woman, a Lady now!"

"I hate each and every one of you."

"We love you more!"

"Oh, oh, you simply must give a speech!"

You could've killed your best friend had you not been so utterly blissed. And of course, the entirety of your roguish little friend group of the highest of high society seconded Tatyana's outburst, cheering and shoving you up in front of the fireplace, the spot where the muted sounds from the actual social season party upstairs were best heard, and you were facing the rest of them as though you were on a pulpit.

"I am…"

They all laughed, their hands under their chins in mock expectation.

"…Not makin' a speech. Good night to all of you."

"Aw, c'mon, you're not even going to toast your first ever drink?", asked Aleksander - son of your tutor - who handed you a bottle of champagne before bowing, taking his seat again, Tatyana's legs draped over his on the divan as she took a drag of her pipe, raising a brow at you.

"Who says it's my first?", you mused, chuckling along with the rest of them as you chugged the champagne. Whoos and whoops and 'you little fucking rebel' sounded through the room, and Lev - Tatyana's brother - grinned before settling onto the seat in front of the piano. "This one's for you, Miss-Seasoned-Alcoholic."

His hands began their magic on the piano.

"And so, the last of us descends into the madness of formal society."

Alexei. His voice smooth as the transition of Lev's new symphony (something he'd been working on, something all of you in this room were sworn to secrecy over. It's the principle). "You must learn from our mistakes, you know? You have been, your whole life, but now, it is a whole different matter to knowing what a certain object is called in French."

You tipped your glass in his direction, and he nodded subtly, clearing his throat and gesturing with a flick of his wrist at Lev to continue. That was it. That was his toast. Never one for words, that Vronsky. He'd been quiet so far, and he was most likely going to be quiet henceforth. For the rest of the night. Just standing there, arms crossed, shadows half-marring his face from the alcove he was leaning towards but never actually in.

"Alexei's off to the military. Lev's off to study music under Tchaikovsky, sweet Lord, and Tatyana's getting married and you are off getting engaged off to imbeciles we haven't even had the pleasure of conversing with.", grumbled Aleksander, glaring at you. "Am I the only one here who likes home?"

"There's a whole world out there, Aleks. You're just incessantly stubborn on staying here.", shrugged Tatyana, blowing smoke into his face, before leaning her head back so her hair dangled off the armchair of the divan.

"Like either of you will ever get to explore even a splinter of it.", scoffed Aleksander, shifting to wave off her smoke. "Well, maybe you, your future husband's a politician, you might get to travel a bit. Our poor darling newly-introduced-angel's most likely already prepared to grow roots in his abnormally large manor."

You didn't like the three sympathetic looks being thrown your way. You were supposed to be having fun, goddamnit, not being pitied by the people you loved most in the world, it was essentially your party!

Thankfully, there was one stoic voice of reason that didn't look at you as though you were a kicked puppy. "Lev, do you always have to play such depressing things? And Aleks, with his depressing words. And Tatya, with her depressing face-- hey!", he laughed as much as was possible of Alexei Vronsky, deftly dodging the pillow she flung at him.

Thank god Alexei wasn't one for ruining a party with realism.

"Come on, play something jovial. Something Sir Tchaikovsky would dance to, not hang himself to."

"Dance?", scoffed Lev, flexing his knuckles momentarily before shrugging. "I suppose I should have some sort of expertise in multitudes of genres. Branch out, I suppose."

"Precisely."

His fingers danced on the keyboard just as fast as the champagne shot through your blood, and Tatyana sauntered up, setting your champagne bottle down. "Dance with me, Miss-Eighteen-Year-Old. Probably the last time we can all be free together."

You smiled, rolling your eyes and taking her hand as the music grew faster and cheerier. "All of you are saps. I thought the plan was get extremely inebriated, not emotionally incapacitated."

"It'd have worked had you been an alcohol-virgin, y'know?", declared Aleks, grunting as he moved to occupy the space Tatyana had been in moments ago, his head on the armrest. "When'd you even have a sip?"

"I was sixteen, and I snuck some of my father's sherry." you said, grimacing when you slimly missed Tatyana's foot.

"Wow, you are a rebel.", stated Aleks, making room for you to flop onto the divan opposite him, laying your head back and huffing as you looked at the ceiling, hand on your stomach as Tatyana continued dancing in her drunk haze, movements attempting to synchronize with the flames in the fireplace.

"I know."

Alexei's arms spread on either end of the back of the divan, and his head tilted in what you could only describe as allure. It was like he was fixated on one thing - what, you're not sure yet - and was entirely tuned into it.

Your eyes trailed magnetically from the ceiling to the eyes above you, a striking, almost painful, shattering blue tinged with flickering oranges like wildfire sunsets, reflecting the flames of the fireplace.

"You know, this is your last time seeing us for more than a full half-hour."

Raising a brow, you shook your head, curiously. "Why?"

"Well, the next time we will all see each other is Tatya's wedding, and the bride will not have time to come down for a drink with her mates, will she?"

"Now whose face is depressing?", retorted Tatyana, from in front of the fireplace. She was promptly ignored - not that she was sober enough to have noticed.

"This means, my sweet, that you owe each of us a dance." His voice is ships on a benevolent ocean. His smile is the horizon when the sun dapples the waters just so.

"I second that!", called Lev from the piano.

A strand of your hair got flicked, bouncing to and fro before your focus shifted to the hand being offered to you. "Dance with me."

Sighing magnanimously, you rose, allowing him to tug you into a seamless waltz, with one palm on your waist and the other holding your hand as though you might well break.

"Lev, faster.", he called offhandedly over his shoulder, his eyes fixed on your face, his brows furrowed in concern, while yours furrowed in concentration. You could not survive narrowly missing stepping on Alexei's leg, as well.

The music's pace quickened, and the loudness climbed up steadily, Lev palpably taking artistic liberty over artistic liberty, experimenting.

The sound of the piano keys being subjected to Lev's creative strokes of brilliance effectively muffling his voice, he drew his forehead closer, to fall just short of resting against yours. "Do you like him?"

"Like who?"

"Your possible groom-to-be."

"You know, actually, I thought he'd be stuffy, or unkind or plain, but he's quite pleasant."

"Standards are high among noble women these days, I see.", he snorted sarcastically, tugging you even closer, so that his temple was pressed against yours, your mouths next to each others ear. Secrets could pass between you smooth as a bullet, but for some reason, neither of you seemed to have anything to say.

"They say this is how the English dance. What do you think?"

"Doesn't hold a candle to the mazurka. But it's easier."

"Yes. Good. Glad you said that, because I am a disappointment to the mazurka's name." That was a lie, but he'd always been prone to lying to make sure you never felt inferior.

You grinned, and he effortlessly sped up to a Viennese waltz. "Keep up."

His eyes never left yours, that's the thing that kept you from fumbling around. They stayed trained on yours even as he twirled you around, and even as he dipped you.

Quickly, he took you on a small waltz towards where he'd left his champagne glass, and tipped it toward you, the rim touching your nose and causing him to smile.

"Did you not want to go to Paris? Italy? Ride an actual steam engine? Did you not have dreams?", he murmured, his eyes half-closed as the knuckles on the back of the hand holding the glass ghosted over your arm, running up and down them. The arm on your waist didn't dare flinch.

"I still do. You speak as though I'm a lost cause."

"He will not take up a role in the military or in politics, you know this. He is filthy rich, you know? Days will pass in his manor, perhaps the occasional ball such as this. You will live comfortably. Since when have you liked that?", he inquired, downing the entire glass in one go.

You let out a breathy laugh and he twirled you once more in impatience, pulling you back much tighter in line with his chest. "Since when?", he repeated.

"He is a kind man, and he is not a bore, either. Pickings are slim of the sort here, you know that."

"This is what he has portrayed to you."

"We are equal in station. If he mistreats me, I could still ruin him."

"Why do you even consider the possibility of being mistreated? You should not even have to think about that."

It's not protectiveness, not anymore, it's bitterness and it irked you. Who was he to be making such great points when you were inebriated, and could not retort?

"Alexei. We've all known one day, we'd have to get engaged to people we don't particularly know. Tatyana and me before you three, of course, but we've known."

"Yes, but--"

"And I don't know if this is nostalgic melancholy or something because you're leaving for the military, but you're dampening our spirits."

"I'm worried he isn't what he says he is. You're too free of a soul for a fortune-inheriting-man who knows nothing of work or life or joy."

His thumbs rubbed gentle arcs on your cheeks, his eyes closed as his voice quietened down under the music that you had to strain to hear him.

"This choice has been made by my family with due diligence, Alexei."

"Diligence. Not intelligence."

"Alexei."

"I apologise. I worry, you know I do."

You nodded, and he nodded back, handing you his empty glass to place on the table behind you. And when you turned back, his forehead grazed yours again. A tiny smirk painted his horizon-lips, and you felt his head tilt. "Did you really have your first drink at sixteen?"

"Not my fault you went and became eighteen and kept regaling the rest of us with how blissful you felt when drinking. It was cruel to taunt us so."

"I apologise for turning eighteen without your permission. I did not mean to ruffle any feathers with my insubordination."

"I am training you for the military, you see? You have learnt manners. Your superiors will thank me."

He grinned, dimples pronounced in the firelight. "I'm sure you will receive letters in the hundreds, profusely thanking you.", he mused, eyes flitting up to the ceiling in mock resignation before landing back on yours. "You will respond to my letters, yes?"

"Yes."

"You will send me some, of your own volition, as well?"

"Yes."

"That's a relief. I know none of these imbeciles will spare so much as a thought of me when I'm out there fighting for the good of Russia. It is always said that the youngest have the most kindness in them. You certainly do.", he muttered, gesturing his head at the other three.

Your hair is gently brought forward, onto your shoulder. "It's like a river. It flows.", he mumbled under his breath.

"My hair?"

He seemed mildly surprised you'd even heard him.

"Time.", he replied, a hint of reluctant fascination in his gaze as he continued setting your hair on your shoulder, attempting to place it just right. "You tune out the sounds and the currents when you've been by the river for too long, and before you know it, you don't recognize the things floating by you, anymore, and the things you first saw drifting are long gone. Time is the river."

"How often do you sit by rivers?"

"Every day. How about you?"

"Not much."

"Then you'd better pray he has one next to his estate. Because it's all you will be spending your life doing."

"That is a cruel thing to say."

Here's the thing about friendship and warnings. Your best friend will give you warning signs if they are going to move away and leave you to fend for yourself, perhaps months in advance. Your best friend will warn you about someone you trust that they have a bad feeling about. Best friends like Vronsky, however, cannot afford to warn you about when they are going to kiss you. It is just not done.

He was trepidation personified, hesitation embodied, eagerness demonstrated. One tiny kiss placed down onto your lips, and he was drawn in with no hope. One more and he was yours. And from the third, he didn't stop to think any longer. Think about how improper this was. How misleading. Not wrong. No, this was no more right than the sky being blue.

So why did you pull away, albeit gently? He'd never know.

He observed your eyes, carefully, as they darted over his, and did not even come anywhere close to his lips. Almost as though you were practicing the art of self-control with utmost dedication.

Hence, naturally, the palm on your waist nearly yanked you closer, your chests together as he kissed you again, his thumb on your cheek once more. He did not stop even when he realised this could ruin so much. He did not stop even when he realised this would make it harder for him to send or receive letters from you, and most importantly, he did not stop even after the music stopped and your friends had all turned from their inebriated, irritated or inspired states to stare at you. And fucking laugh.

Well, laugh momentarily. This was before they silently whooed and whooped to the same extent they had done when you'd first chugged the malicious champagne that had brought the two of you to this predicament, shaking their heads as they smugly raised their glasses in toast.

His hand ran up your back, to the nape of your neck, gently gripping it as he pulled away, his forehead on yours, as his thumb continued, albeit higher than the apple of your cheek, now pushing hair away from your eyes -- god, your eyes -- as he breathed, subconsciously attempting to synchronize with your breathless state.

"Come on."

"Alexei."

"Please. You cannot discount this."

"We are drunk. Discounting it is all we can do."

He almost got on his knees, and he would have, had the circumstances been different, and he were capable of the hand-eye coordination required to kneel. "Please."

You bit your lip, the same one he should've bitten two seconds ago, and then looked down. He let go.

"Alright. As you wish."

Licking your lips, you sighed, unsure of what to do. You wanted to reach out, hug him -- that's what you've always done to comfort him, well, anyone in this room. However, it could go horribly wrong. He could take it as patronization. He could shove you away. He could kiss you again.

"They will be searching for all of us upstairs."

You said it, and the others shifted awkwardly, mumbling agreements as they stood to fix their hair and groom the drunkenness out of their clothes. His eyes narrowed. "They will be searching for you. It is your party."

"No, I think all of us will be missed."

"I won't. Evidently."

Fuck. "Alexei--"

"Happy birthday."

You knew a dismissal when you heard one. "Are all of you coming?"

The rest of them rubbed their elbows, the back of their neck, busied themselves with their shoes. Right.

"Thank you all for coming today. I'll see you for thirty minutes at Tatya's wedding next, I suppose.", you muttered, with a pointed scoff and glare at Vronsky before you slammed the door behind you, the rest of the hallway seeming like a whole other world, an entire universe, even. An extremely dull one, but at least it was different than what you had just made it out of.

You gave an excuse of having gone downstairs to the cellar to look for more wine for the guests.

It's funny, you'd be surprised if you ever drank again.

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Alexei had been wrong.

Tatya's wedding was not the next event you'd all interact in again.

No, it was Aleksander's cousin's first ever ball she was throwing as a married woman, and you had been cordially invited, didn't you know?

You actually hadn't, not until a day earlier, after you'd returned from your sudden new routine of daily sessions of sitting by streams and skipping pebbles over them. Not exactly a river, no, but it wasn't like you'd developed this novel interest due to Alexei's words. God, no. Sometimes, these things occur randomly, on their own, alright? Seasons change, people change.

You'd returned, and the invitation had been waiting at your desk. Your family had held onto it, as they had been doing with a lot of invitations to events since you'd been formally introduced. Proper ones, you see, were the kind you were to now attend. This had passed the test, evidently, as along with this on your desk, a new dress lay on your bed.

"I don't know… do I truly have that bridal glow to me? My fiancé says I do, but I can't be sure if it's just flattery."

"He's about to marry you in two months, Tatya, there's no reason for him to continue flattering you as though this is simply a courtship.", you assured, and she laughed, her head thrown back and her hand on your arm.

"Men will find a way. We could be married for decades, and I'm sure Ivan will understate our marriage and ask whether I find him agreeable or handsome."

"That will be due to memory loss and senility, not some masculine inclination to downplay the extent to which you love each other."

"Can't say the same about your situation, though, can we? He's still flattering you, I take it? As though your families are not in the closing stages of the deal to be engaged?"

"Yes, he is."

She offered you wine and you declined.

"Sobriety looks beautiful on you, but I like you drunk, you know. Like on the night of your birthday, I--"

"Tatya. I know what you're doing."

"Listen, it's not worth it, and you know it. It has been, what? A month, perhaps two? We're all about to be tugged into… god knows how many different directions. Even talking about your birthday has you defensive."

"Did you ask Aleksander to ask his cousin to-- god, Tatya, you--"

"You will thank me."

"If I see him, I am leaving."

"Well, if that's about me, that's disappointing to hear. If it's about Aleks, it's amusing."

Your eyes shot up, and Alexei stood there with his hands in his pockets, crisp white suit, even crisper grin, although his eyes did not reflect the charm his smile so effortlessly did.

You glared as Tatya rose, nodding at the two of you before disappearing into the crowd of socialites, much like you wanted to disappear into a huge gaping hole Alexei could not follow you into.

"I love your dress. Angelic."

Angelic. Did he have to do this? Was it some primal urge for him to meddle with your sanity?

"I like the hair. You've grown it out.", you remarked, offhandedly. Small talk wouldn't stop him, but it might throw him off.

"Oh, yes, yes, I have. Glad you like it. My mother grieved over it, and Tatya would obviously never give me her honest opinion, of course."

You nodded. Perhaps you'd been far too quick to refuse the wine.

"I would like to, uh, formally apologise. For the night of your birthday."

"Alexei--"

"Let me finish."

Fine. You could at least give him that. "Alright, but lower your voice."

He huffed softly, intensely battling an eye-roll before he looked back up to you. "I was rude, in the way I spoke to you before you left."

Spoke?

"Pardon?"

"The dismissal. It was… uncouth. Unkind. And I apologise for it."

The dismissal is what he thought you were annoyed about?

"The dismissal."

"I will apologise for nothing else."

"You are stubborn."

"And you are perfect. Do not engage in a battle of wits with me, my dear, you know I will win, you've known that since we were children."

The quiet that followed between the two of you weakly fought to stand its ground amidst the chattering and buzzing and music the rest of the party was engrossed in. "Have you given my offer any thought?"

Perhaps you were remembering it wrong. What offer?

"To not discount it.", he clarified, his tongue smoothly running over his teeth as one knee rested over another.

"You know I cannot do that. I am nearly - well, for all intents and purposes, I already am - engaged."

"Engagements fall through all the time."

"This one has no reason to. There is no power imbalance, no station inequity, no deep-seated mutual familial hatred, no--"

"No love.", he offered, his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his intertwined fists.

"Love takes time."

"Yes. Eighteen years, to be exact."

"You have not known me eighteen years." He scoffed in response to that.

"I don't know how to explain it. It is…", he muttered, looking around as though answers would materialize from thin, tension-filled air, before his eyes landed on the two wine glasses before you. One full (the one you'd refused) and one empty (Tatya's).

He reached for them, holding them in his hands as though they were sacred. "One of us is each of these glasses, and when we're together, or at least since that night…", he mused, gently pouring from the full one into the empty one, his eyes on yours, until it filled halfway. "It's perfect. Equal. Right. Balanced. We balance each other out."

You bit the inside of your cheek, shaking your head, your mind frantically groping around its own depths for a response.

"Now, I don't know which one I am. If I am the giver, or the beneficiary, but what I do know is that at the end, it doesn't matter. Because it is us. You and me."

His gaze was so expectant, you could have cried.

"Station-wise, you know that it wouldn't work, even as an alliance deal, my family… power imbalances lead to marital issues."

"You are not going to sit there and reduce this to a logistical issue. You are not. I will not allow you to boil us down to such trivial nonsense as that."

"Alright, then how about the fact that my family would not let me marry an army officer, who is away from me for three quarters of the year, and who I could, at any time, get word is dead?"

"I am, also, a Count, and I could withdraw from the army and still offer you comfort. And besides, I would not even be on the front lines, and you know it. This argument is ridiculous.", he spat, jaw clenched.

"It is reality, Alexei, and it is quite embarrassing that I am two years your junior and I understand the world better than you."

"What is the real reason? It is not because you are worried you will be widowed in two days, or that you are worried we will get conflict in our married life because of our difference in our stations."

"Yes, it is."

"So, if not for those, you'd marry me?", he scoffed. "You would truly marry me then, if not for those reasons?"

"Yes!"

His jaw ticked, and he sucked on his teeth for a moment before leaning back, arm on the armrest as he absentmindedly picked at his lips. "You would?"

You hissed under your breath, leaning forward. "Contrary to what you seem to believe, Alexei, my refusal to acknowledge what happened on my birthday--"

"Your rejection, you mean."

"--Yes, my rejection - is not because of ill-will or because I hate you! I cannot hate you, it is physiologically, fundamentally impossible for me!"

"So is loving me, evidently. All you can feel, I suppose, is mild affection caused solely by nostalgia."

God, he was getting on your nerves. Running an exasperated hand through your hair, you leaned back, not before taking the half-filled glass - that apparently represented you - and bringing it to your lips.

He took his, eyes dancing around the room as he sipped. "Your indifference will be what kills me, not anything anyone fires at me from across enemy lines."

"What is it you want from me? I cannot acknowledge what happened as anything other than impropriety caused by inebriation. I cannot."

"Lies. You have your own reservations against marrying me, and I want to know them."

"No matter what I say, you will take it as a personal attack."

"Because you are personal to me!", he snapped, the glass pummeling to the floor, the grating and mortifyingly endless sound of shatters echoing through the room. Even the pianist stopped momentarily, before rolling his eyes and continuing once more.

The attendees, however, ogled.

Servants rushed to help clean it up, not allowing Alexei to get up and storm off and cause the tantrum he always did when he didn't get his way. "Sorry, my Lord, but shards in shoes are dangerous."

He ran his hand over his mouth to hold in his temper, before nodding offhandedly. "Finish quickly.", he mumbled, now gently biting at his knuckles, knee bouncing.

"Alexei."

Turning to you, he shook his head. "You are about to attempt at a placating platitude. Don't."

"When have I ever cared about placating you?"

He snorted, a hint of resentful acknowledgement in it. "Yes, I suppose you are painfully honest."

"Never mind. If you will only offer me retort after retort, then there is no need."

He huffed, rubbing the ridge of his brow. "Tell me."

"I will still write you."

"Oh, brilliant, that makes up for everything!", he exclaimed, sardonically. "You are a child. You don't listen, you argue, and you think gestures like that will magically solve this?"

"It's better than me not writing, isn't it? What would you rather have? Me not writing to you at all, or still writing?"

"Actually, you know what? Perhaps I don't want you writing to me. Ever think of that? Perhaps my devotion to you has waned with your stinging, stupidly-justified rejection. Perhaps I don't want anything to do with you anymore.", he gritted out through his pearly white stupid teeth.

"I don't do one thing you want, and I'm immediately an afterthought?", you scoffed, willing yourself not to yell and scream and plead as he stood up, smoothing down his suit.

"Wrong. You don't do the only thing I want - the only thing I've ever wanted from you, and yes, you do become an afterthought.", he replied, finger pointing at you as though you were under trial.

The sound of his heels sharply clicking away as he stormed out and got the dramatic tantrum he'd always loved throwing callously across a crowded room fading, you rubbed your forehead.

"Would you like a refill, my Lady?"

"No." You'd had quite enough of liquor for a while.

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Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

Fuck!

You weren't particularly sure that you'd ever done anything to warrant avian malicious intent, but it was always a possibility. Perhaps a nocturnal pigeon or crow?

Stomping to the window, you threw it open. No wings. Nothing. Just a breeze on the night sky with a promise to meddle with your sanity.

You glared at the sky before shaking your head and moving to close the window, before a psst caught your attention.

Your eyes rolled right after they found Alexei standing down there, five pebbles in his left palm, one in between his fingers on the right, ready to strike. "Down. Now."

"No."

"You know I'm not above launching these all night. Your stream has a bank with these innumerable."

"No."

"You know I'm not above throwing these at your face."

"You wouldn't dare." But he would, and you knew it. Ask seven-year-old you, being terrorized by a nine-year-old-Alexei by a worm on a stick that he thrust upon your face.

"Down, now."

You glared at him, and he flinched, making as though he were about to propel one into your face, and you shut the window instinctively, running downstairs, before you slowed, creeping around sleeping maidservants' rooms, gently prying open the back doorway.

He was still laughing at your fright as he watched you gingerly shut the door behind you to maintain as much silence as possible. "Did you actually think I would do it?"

"After your little wine-stunt, I don't know what to think. Why are you even here?"

"You forgot what tonight is?"

"What is it?"

"My last night before I leave for the military. I told you -- all of you -- the morning of your birthday, when I got the information!"

"The night of my birthday overshadowed the morning, I'm afraid.", you scoffed. "Shouldn't you be getting patted on the back by your superiors? Brandy and cigars?", you mocked, crossing your arms as he leaned back against a tree.

"I should. Instead, I'm here."

"How unfortunate."

"Will you just…", he trailed off, before groaning, running his hands over his face as though he were the one being inconvenienced right now. "Just accept that it meant something."

"The kiss?"

"Yes, the kiss."

"Of course it meant something, imbecile, that was never up for debate. A kiss is no small thing."

"Good. There is something of substance in there, then.", he muttered, flicking at your forehead.

You rolled your eyes, sticking your tongue out at him, a gesture he mirrored. "You really are still a child."

"You are not grown up either, Alexei, you just act as though you are. You don't know what you're doing half the time, either."

"Listen, 'adult' is not an actual state of being that one can achieve, alright? Everyone makes it up as they go along.", he mumbled, rolling one of the pebbles in his palm over on its side.

"You still don't want me to write?", you asked, quietly.

"Of course I bloody want you to write, what's wrong with you? I don't want you engaged to someone who you don't know, but I suppose my opinion on it is irrelevant."

"We would not be good husband and wife, anyway."

He chuckled loudly at that, bitterly, before shaking his head and stalking his way towards the stream, wordlessly expecting you to follow. "Oh, you have to elaborate on that one. Oh, and without using the words 'bicker', 'fight', 'stubborn' or 'imbecile'."

"You're an idiot.", you retorted.

He snorted, shaking his head as he continued the short trek. "I love you.", he replied, laughing under his breath.

The crunches of leaves underfoot stilled, and you froze, like the stream would in a couple months' time. "What?", he questioned, grunting softly as he lowered himself on the bank, head swiveling over to you.

You shook your head, shrugging. "Nothing."

"You already know this. Why is it surprising to hear it?", he muttered, offering a hand to help you down next to him.

"It isn't."

"No? Then what's that face?", he asked, tapping gently on your nose. "You look stunned. Scandalized, one might say."

The stream carried your words away.

"Will I be invited to the engagement party?"

"Do you want to be? Because you only get one. Either engagement party or wedding."

"If I come to the engagement party, I could make sure there is no wedding. I am mildly evil like that, as you well know."

"What would you do?"

"Kill him or humiliate him. I don't know, haven't decided. Or, I'd convince you to run away with me. But then again, if you're not willing now, I'm sure you won't be willing then, with all the pressure.", he sighed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, an absentminded kiss placed on your temple.

"I thought pressure makes people do stupid, impulsive things."

"Precisely. You will actually go ahead with the 'stupid, impulsive' engagement."

"How would you humiliate him? Because even I don't know enough about him t--"

"Do you not love me? Is that it? Is that why you reject me so harshly and hastily? You do not love me as I love you? I am still your childhood friend? A brother, of sorts?"

"Alexei, I already explained--"

He scoffed, gripping your jaw before he pulled you so your lips met his once again - a most surprising reunion. He turned completely to you, now, his hands moving your hair back before they abruptly decided they'd rather hold it, instead. "Explain this then. Hm? You kiss back, like you cannot stop yourself, like this is what you were made for. And it is, you know?", he murmured against your lips momentarily before he continued once more.

He still had the ability to read you like the fairytales that the five of you had grown up reenacting. It irked you to no end.

"Alexei-"

"I swear, you say my name once more, I will… I will… marry you right now.", he grumbled, rambled, rather, pulling you closer. "The stream and the stars heard me say it, and they hear everything. If you say my name like that one more time, I will honest to God marry you, somehow."

You were silent for a while. Then. "Alexei."

His horizon-smile blossomed against your lips.

[bestlilithian]

Home is the first grave.

[ Moon-Pluto, Pluto in 4th house culture ]

tw for various mentions of abuse and death as well as mental problems, sh and su!cide, also needles (dont ask)

- may have experienced a lot of death in thr family or in the close neighborhood

- feel more connected to your dead relatives than your alive ones

- there mightve been a death in your family before you were born

- feeling peacful in graveyards

- may have fantasized about death/su!cide, might percieve death as something that brings peace (hence the fantasies, because really all you ever wanted was peace)

- wanting peace but knowing you cannot have it because of your nature; feeling like theres just something in your blood in your soul that is uncontrollable and overwhelming

- your household was always a house , never a home

- being raised by very old people, enjoying the presence of much older wiser people (like, literal elders not hot teachers 💀)

- enduring literal psychological warfare in your home (usual your mother waged war on you as soon as you were old enough to form a coherent critical thought)

- "I hate you, dont leave me" (might be the attitude of your mother towards you, or yours towards others you love)

- Your mother always knew when you were lying or hiding something. Especially if she had a scorpio moon or moon/pluto aspects herself. You grew up extremely fearful of her.

- moon pluto culture is hearing your mother talk lovingly about her own fucked up mother, she never accepted the severity of her own abuse, until of course she needs to use it in an argument against you "Im a great mother, my mother was so much worse"(basically Im good because I abuse you differently than I was abused 😍 same shit different package)

- not liking motherly women or women who try to be mother figures to you, feeling uncomofortable around them; youre uncomfortable with how much you crave motherly love and people who can provide you that become threats because of the power they could have over you if you opened up

- being betrayed by the women in your life, especially those who were much older and supposed to take care of you (teachers, tutors, family members, therapists, babysitters..)

- toxic female friends 😁🔫 bonus : really close but toxic female friendships in youth that feel like death when you end them even though you know it was necessary

- feeling pain so deeply you think you will drop dead or have a heart attack. (When I was little and depressed I wrote in a diary of mine "My body will kill me before I get to")

more on this : when you start crying because of immense emotional pain and suddenly your heart is burning and beating too fast and youre getting light headed and throwing up , and suddenly youre not crying because of the pain, youre crying because youre afraid youre about to have a heart attack and die

- fearing that your mother will k word herself or you if you try to leave her (harsh aspects mostly)

- learning what emotional violence is very early, how to wield it and defend against it

- turning your emotions off completely for a while and then having a nervous breakdown when it all rushes back

- reading up on psychology, psychiatry and works of psychotherapists so you can heal and never become your mother

- wanting to put a bullet in your head when you notice yourself thinking or behaving like your mother

- going home after you spent time somewhere where you felt good and safe is extremely dreadful

- your mother doesnt see you as a human being (harsh aspects especially), and may take you a while to figure this out

- extremely controlling behavior from your mother or other caretakers (for example my mother threatened to send people to stalk me when I moved to a diff city, to 'make sure Im not doing something bad')

- deeply grieving the loss of your childhood and your inner child

- almost choking while crying or passing out

- feeling like youre a horrible person and dont deserve your family [because youre in deep denial and are seeing the flaws of your family as your own and denying your own trauma]

- learning about sex early on, perhaps early sexual obsession but not like promiscuity more like craving for deep intimacy (also you were probably deeply ashamed of it)

- not telling your family (esp mother) anything because they will ruin it for you

- being accused of being a psychopath, uncaring, selfish for "not loving your family enough"

- not knowing how to feel about the members of your family that played a more passive role in your life because they didnt do anything wrong but they didnt do anything right either; surely they knew , why didnt they stop it? why didnt they save you? (Im talking about adults obviously)

- your parents mightve been much older when you were born, you might have siblings much older than you

- doing anything to avoid your intense emotions and then when you break down and feel everything you realize how freeing it is and how comfortable you actually are with the intensity

- gutteral reactions to songs you deeply relate to (I hear 10 seconds of 'Slipping through my fingers' and I am dead on the floor)

- being afraid of your mother or just of your family in general

- you could probably kill someone with your bare hands if you were angry and hurt enough

- scary as fuck when you actually show your anger

- if you cry in the midst of a fight (verbal or physical) ... someone tell that person to make peace w God . cause thats you crying because of what youre about to do, because thats you loosing the last crumb of humanity you had for them and that can only end one way.

- you would probably kill for your loved ones

- your friends feel like you would help them hide a body (and you probably would)

- recognizing people by footsteps and breathing patterns (especially family members)

- deep deep eyes, people can see war and death them, and they feel like you see their pain too (because you do)

- reading people easily

- enjoying? cruelty (to yourself or others), like getting impulses to do something that would cause you or someone else that ugly feeling of facing cruelty

- finding comfort in the cold and the dark

- insane nightmares since youth, growing to be used to them

- its very hard to shock you

- you know when someones lying

- you might dread certain types of pain yet feel pleasure from them (personally I hate having my blood taken for a test but then I end up immensely enjoying the feeling of a needle pricking my skin and going deep into my vein)

- feeling the need to "kill" some your habits; most likely to drop things cold turkey and be extremely strict in breaking bad habits

- might enjoy really dark, emotionally and morally complex media

- immediately recognizing other moon pluto people and trauma bonding

- extremely good pain endurance. not necessarily tolerance , but endurance. you feel the pain and do it anyway.

- might not react to physical pain at all from a young age

- fantasies about drowning or slipping away peacfully

- either loving deep waters or hating them

- randomly breaking down in the middle of the day because of some pain you buried 5 years ago

- might self harm a lot because of your complex relationship w pain, it genuinely helps sometimes

- home feels like literal prison

- seeing the value in suffering, you might reject the idea that suffering is bad and should be avoided and prevented at all costs

- you might become religious as you mature (but usually in your own way, not necessarily according to tradition)

- forced to eat or denied food in your home, this mightve fucked up your relationship with food

And lastly, I need you to engrave this in yourself :

Wrong love is not love.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

huh...

Recently I was researching Malleus in preparation to write some things for my "10 years later" blog event. And you know what I noticed?

MALLEUS SEEMS TO HAVE LIKE NO CLEARLY STATED POLICY POSITIONS WHATSOEVER 💀 Across 4+ years of content (voice lines, vignettes, events, main story, etc.), Malleus does not really indicate how he plans to rule once he ascends to the throne. I keep thinking I missed something and go back to comb over everything, but I swear to you that it was pretty threadbare. The closest examples I could find were him being familiar with the concept of noblesse oblige (those of higher status have a duty to aid the weak), thinking it prudent to maintain friendly relationships with representatives of foreign lands, and going along with various traditions and ceremonies. I guess you can also throw in Malleus saying he was told by his grandma that the Draconias are meant to use their powers to protect the smiles of their people? But there's nothing concrete, like how exactly Malleus would achieve his goals once in power or what his specific goals are. (This is not counting fan speculation, such as him potentially eliminating the current senate due to how they treated Lilia so callously.)

Malleus will often talk about how the things he's experiencing are different than what he knows of back home. Malleus will talk about how others wait on him (his birthday is a national holiday, he has private chefs and tutors, etc.). But he doesn't talk about how he would rule. That's like... so wild to me considering that he's the crown prince of Briar Valley. I would have expected at least one or two dedicated voice lines about such a BIG for Malleus, especially with how often he speaks about himself being a royal and being groomed for the position of future ruler of his nation. Malleus sometimes shares about his grandmother, who is the current ruler, but again never specifies what her ruling style is like or what her policies are like. It's also strange to me that Sebek, Silver, and Lilia also never speak about Malleus's positions on anything. The best we get is Lilia trying to encourage Malleus to get out of his comfort zone more and to make the most of his time to learn about his non-fae peers. That doesn't speak to any of his current thoughts though, only what Lilia hopes will enhance Malleus's understanding now and perhaps inform his decisions in the future. We're mostly left to assume how Briar Valley's political landscape works--but even then, there's not much to make of it, besides being aware of the senate, a reliance on magic, and the general adversity to humans and technology.

To my knowledge, Malleus barely performs any of the tasks a dorm leader typically would...? Silver has a voice line in his Dorm Uniform stating, "Every time I see Malleus carrying out his housewarden duties, I think that Briar Valley is in good hands," but we rarely see this on-screen. Malleus definitely misses most meetings and ceremonies, often having to rely on Lilia to do them in his place. He also makes excuses as to why he cannot make it to them and blames others for it. (From his Dorm Uniform vignettes: “It's not my fault I don't attend such gatherings. The humans who fear me for no good reason are to blame.”) Malleus also seems to whine when asked to do a simple task like choosing the dorm’s Halloween costume? (From his Halloween Dress vignettes: “You want ME to choose? Why? You've done a perfectly adequate job of it these past two years. […] But I haven't the faintest idea where to begin with such a thing. Surely there's someone more suitable you can turn to.” This... doesn't give him chances to actually act in the role of a leader. It doesn’t exactly instill a my faith in him as someone who can lead, either

Compare this to Leona, the other prince of the cast (not counting Silver, since he learns of his prince heritage very late into the main story and may not even feasibly have a country or people to his name anymore). Leona is the second prince of Sunset Savanna, meaning he's not even expected to become king someday--yet we consistently hear what his thoughts on policies and political planning are. He comments that he worries for his country's future due to how lax, kind-hearted, and extravagant his older brother and acting king Falena is. On top of that, Leona's own views on what would most benefit his country are explicitly laid out. He doesn't care much for stuffy traditions or living in harmony with nature (a value many of his countrymen have); he prioritizes progress and thinks proactively about it. Even on his own birthday, Leona talks about how the gift he received from Falena could be better served as a gift to a neighboring country to bolster the relationship between their nations. The mining and energy internship he chooses in book 7 is also geared towards making sustainable advancements back home (presumably to make use of his country’s natural resources while minimizing damage to the land). We get a very clear sense of how Leona would go about improving his country, even if not from the position of king and even if his ideas wouldn’t be received well by his people or by the land. (If this topic interests you, then please check out this post, where I discuss Leona vs Falena's priorities and ruling styles.)

And for as lazy as Leona keeps being talked up to be, he (to my knowledge) actually respects his peers’ time and does not miss meetings. He could easily not attend or just send a minion to do this menial work for him, but he doesn’t. Instead, Leona actively chooses to be present and to represent his dorm. He doesn’t make excuses or try to skip meetings, he puts his money where his mouth is and actually leads Savanaclaw, even if that means using dirty means at times (book 2).

So what's up with Malleus, an actual king-to-be, not talking about politics at all????? Is it maybe just something Malleus is not thinking about (it's possible that he could become king much later in life, since he’s not considered an “adult” until 1000 years old)? Is he maybe focusing on his current school experience? Or is it that he just... keeps the plans to himself since they aren't immediately relevant? Or is it that he feels he doesn't need to implement many changes once he does become king (since he seems to already be accustomed to his grandmother's way of ruling), so there's no need for him to consider it now? (Briar Valley itself and Malleus are particularly old-fashioned and appear to have issues adapting or changing with the times.) Is it that Malleus secretly dreads his ascension because it means he can no longer go back to his carefree school days? Maybe it's just the Twst devs intentionally keeping Briar Valley vague for meta reasons/to maintain Diasomnia's mystique??? It could be any combination of reasons.

I guess I'm a little frustrated myself at this realization because a personal gripe I have with Malleus is how he's treated and talked about like he's a great leader (especially by Diasomnia; *stares at Sebek shouting and Lilia's book 2 speech*), but we never get real instances of him acting like that great leader he supposedly is. It feels like lip service (think about how often Diasomnia and the general cast hypes him up) without him being able to back it up. When has Malleus led anyone in a serious group effort? How does he intend to lead in the future? I feel like it's mostly him wandering off to do his own thing or to clear the challenge with his OP-ness. But if Twst is really going to sell us on Malleus being a "great leader", then he should be given more chances to be one. It's such a wasted opportunity that we don't get to know more about this. The only instance I can think of (off the top of my head) where Malleus "leads" is GloMasq, and even then I don't know if I would count it??? Because Malleus isn't really leading the group so much as he is tagging along with them because there's safety in numbers given the situation. Everyone else throws themselves out there to protect him and the other event SSRs... and the way Malleus acts kind of implies he would march up that tower and try to decimate Rollo with or without anyone's help if he could. That doesn't really read to me as him taking charge, even if he's technically going to these great lengths to protect his country, which primarily relies on magic (ie their way of life would be destroyed if Rollo's plan succeeds). Maybe I'm missing something though??? If you can think of any examples of Malleus being a leader and/or times when he mentions how he'd rule Briar Valley, let me know. it's very possible that I have overlooked an example, given the extensive amount of content out at the moment. Sharing general thoughts on this topic is also fine.

[perfecttutor0]

Perfect Tutor connects students with skilled home tutors. Home tutors teach school subjects, prepare for exams, and help with studies. All tutors are verified, ensuring they are reliable. Perfect Tutor focuses on giving individual care to every student. This allows students to learn better and build confidence. With Perfect Tutor, parents can easily choose the best tutor for their child.

[mmeskywalker]

|| teachers pet

summary: HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN is your professor. a couple of weeks ago, he assigned you to tutor a student who had to retake his class. dylan was a sweet, attractive guy and you had no problem tutoring him. however, noticing the shift in the two of your behaviors, professor christensen began developing a problem. he wanted you to himself.

a/n: i made a janitor ai bot on this au, let me know if you’d like it love, xoxo.

warnings: possibly DDDNE, porn WITH a plot, jealousy, possession, no protection (p in v), biting, choking, age gap, cream pie.

you were a wonderful student; always writing notes, listening intently to your professors lectures, your eyes glued to his lips as the information stuck to your skin like a thick coat of glue. the same skin you wanted your professor to suck, and nip until it bruised a pretty purple.

inhaling, you watched the clock strike two. the class had ended and your peers were packing their belongings, heading toward the door, as PROFESSOR CHRISTENSEN wiped the chalkboard off. his fingers wrapped around the eraser, his arm swiftly moving across the space as he waited for you to walk up to him. earlier, he requested to speak to you in private after class. of course, you were nervous, but you replied with a simple, “whatever you want.”

with a deep inhale, professor christensen cleared his throat, the subtle sound resonating through the empty classroom, “thank you,” he said, setting down his eraser. he leaned against his desk, his eyes traveling sullenly your way, and when he finally spoke, there was a noticeable hint of vagueness in his usually direct tone. "there’s a student i’m concerned about, and i believe you would be the perfect tutor for him.” his voice lowered slightly, careful and demanding all at once.

“straight to the point,” you muttered, trying to hide your disappointment with a laugh as you sat in front of him, “so,” you blew out a breath, “who would i be tutoring, professor?”

"dylan grimes. he’s new here, started some time ago," he began, "very bright, but has trouble keeping up with the pace of the class. i thought, seeing as you were so kind..." with a sly grin, he reached for your hand, his thumb caressing your palm, "...you might help him out a bit."

you couldn’t resist the tantalizing scent of his cologne mingling with the familiar scent of chalk dust, cigarettes and paper. it made your head spin. you could rarely tell him no anyway, thereforth you found yourself accepting his offer, “i’d be delighted.”

professor christensen chuckled softly, tilting his head back slightly in appreciation of your response. he stood up straight again, crossing the few feet separating you to stand loom over your frame, his cologne becoming stronger now. placing his hands on your shoulders, he leaned closer still, his plump lips brushing against your ear as he spoke in a husky whisper, "i knew you wouldn't let me down." his warm breath grazed your sensitive ear canal, causing goosebumps to form on your neck once more.

dylan grimes was kind. he wasn’t angry that the professor wanted him to have a tutor, rather he was grateful. he was grateful that someone would give him the time of day he needed to pass, because he never experienced that at home; he always had to figure things out on by himself. you tutoring him was a blessing, and he made sure to let you know how much he appreciated you.

“thank you, really,” dylan exclaimed, closing his notes, “i don’t know where i’d be without you.”

his brown curls bounced off of his forehead, hitting his freckled skin as his glimmering green eyes peered graciously onto yours. they were shining from the glimpse of sunlight that shone through your dorm-room window, and god, you couldn’t look away. he had you captivated. “don’t mention it,” you smiled, “i’m glad i was able to give you that extra push. you’re doing great!”

it had only been a week since your professor assigned you to the task of tutoring dylan. he didn’t expect you to enjoy hanging out with each other; nor did he realize dylan was sneaking into your dorm late at night and thanking you in ways other than muttering a mere thank you. dylan was leaving flowers on your doorstep, slowly sneaking himself into your life, and even kissed your cheek from time to time. to you, it wasn’t a big deal. he was cute. you’re fine with getting that form of attention from a cute guy. but to professor christensen… he watched as dylan would smile at you throughout class, it made his blood boil. he hated the way dylan looked at you, the way he deemed only he could look at you.

stopping his lecture, he’d tap his ruler on his desk, “i hope you’re paying attention to this next part class,” your professor wouldn’t outright say dylan’s name when he pulled this stunt, rather he stared at him, hoping he’d stop undressing you with his eyes.

though, you weren’t paying much attention to your beloved professor, your eyes were glued to your phone screen, giggling down at the admiring texts dylan sent you throughout class.

“you’re so beautiful,” one said.

another one rolled in, “you’re intelligent, funny, and god… you coming into my life is something i thank the lord for every night.”

his words were sweet. however, the harmful gaze professor christensen had was not. he knew something was going on between you and dylan, and he’d be lying to say that it didn’t bother him.

he wanted you to himself; he wanted all of you to himself.

so… he called you to meet him after class.

now it was time. professor christensen gave you a faint smile before standing up, straightening out his suit jacket. "ah, take a seat.” he cooed.

he wasn’t ashamed to light cigarettes in the classroom, and right now, he needed to release some stress before he found himself losing his temper. “i wanted to talk to you about the project i assigned a couple of weeks ago," he mused. he carefully took a seat on his rolley chair, which moved back from his desk slightly, "i noticed… things have gotten quite… intimate between you and dylan during your tutoring sessions." he took a slow drag of his cigarette, blowing out a ring of smoke before exhaling.

raising your brows, you asked, “what do you mean?” as if you were confused. however, you knew exactly what he was implying. only, you didn’t expect him to confront you so meanlessly in a classroom setting. actually, scratch that. you never expected him to confront you on a matter you didn’t even believe concerned him in the first place. yet, the confrontation sent a chill down your spine, involuntarily causing you to cross your legs.

“am i wrong?" his brows furrowed slightly, displaying worry and slight disapproval. you shook your head, and he sighed. he knew that he's been overbearing lately, but he couldn't help himself. he needed you all to himself. the thought of you making love to someone other than him… he couldn’t fathom it. he’s imagined the sensation of your thighs wrapped around his waist, your arms tied around his neck, and the sweet taste of your pussy being savored on his tongue. it drove him insane. you drove him insane.

"don't pretend as if you don’t know what I’m talking about, sweet girl," professor christensen said, shaking his head lightly with a playful sigh. he stepped around his desk. despite being in his mid-forties, his muscular build was perfectly accentuated in his fitted black turtleneck, exposing the strong muscles of his arms underneath the sleeves he had rolled up to his elbows.

his dirty blonde hair fell messily over his brow, casting enticing shadows on the intense blue eyes that peered deeply into yours. "i know you've spent far too much time on your so-called 'tutoring sessions'. care to explain?" he leaned in closer, heat radiating off of him like a warm furnace against the cool classroom air.

you leaned back into your chair, looking at him through thick, heavy eyes, “i don’t have anything to explain. you wanted me to tutor him, didn’t you?”

following that, you swallowed thickly. you realized what was happening, and the way he was looking at you proved it. he was jealous. his gaze was practically burning through your skull. you crossed your legs tighter, squeezing them together as you tilted your head to the side innocently, “are you upset? because you shouldn’t be. his grades are going up, just as you wanted.”

to that, he raised an eyebrow, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "i did initially," he admitted grudgingly. "but things have gotten... too personal." he stepped forward, stopping mere centimeters away from you, reaching his hand out to cup your chin delicately, lifting it so that your eyes locked. "i like having you all to myself, darling." his warm breath was caressing your neck, his finger trailing down the base of your throat before his palm wrapped around your neck, "i like the way you moan when you touch yourself, i know how you’d squirm and arch into my touch,” slowly, he squeezed your neck, sending shockwaves of desire and fear coursing through your body. "i don't want anyone else claiming those sounds as their own."

you couldn’t respond, you could hardly breathe, but you weren’t making an attempt to stop him. the base of his thumb was massaging the side of your neck as he bit your sensitive skin, causing you to choke out a quiet whimper.

"see, i don’t give a flying fuck about dylan's grades, my love," he growled softly, placing his cigarette in the ashtray, “all i care about is you, and having all of you to myself.” standing straight again, he let go, this time towering over you. "the problem,” he continued softly, “the problem is you... you and your tempting body that has been teasing mine to its breaking point,” he spat, “no. the problem is dylan finding that same intensity and desire within you… i despise the thought of a specimen so low touching you in ways only i’m allowed to explore.”

“i’m selfish.” he sounded desperate, his palms caressing down your cheeks, “i want you all to myself. i want your heart, your body, and your mind. i want all of you.”

leaning forward, his breath brushed against your neck again. almost as if he couldn’t get enough of you. his plump lips dragged against the red marks from his previous aggression, lightly kissing the sensitive skin as his hand moved downward to cup your denim-clad ass, "i don’t want to share you with that young man," he growled, before grabbing ahold of your wrists.

he pulled you closer until your chest was pressed against his broad one. his cock responded instantly to your nearness, hardening painfully in his pants, and he let out a low groan. "i don’t want to see you with him anymore," he bit almost dangerously, his voice husky with desire.

“professor.” your voice fell flat as turned you around and backed you into a wall.

releasing your wrist slowly, he whispered, "dear, sweet girl," he exhaled heavily, his chest expanding and contracting. "i see it in your pretty eyes. don’t deny me of this." his knee was pressed between your legs, his cock pressing harder against your crotch, making it obvious just how much his desire for you was burning.

"don’t treat me like some weak-minded scholar that needs to indulge in the company of other students," he whispered, his breath ghosting softly against your ear. "i know you, my love. i know you crave more, deep within your soul." his hands moved down, gripping your hips firmly. he pushed you back against the cool stone wall of the classroom, his erection now pressed firmly against your stomach, pulsating through the fabric of his pants.

his voice grew huskier, each syllable washing over you in an unrelenting wave. "i crave you as much as you crave me, sweetheart, more than my next breath. you make me insane, you make my dreams obsessed with tasting you, taking you, owning you. i won’t let you see him anymore, not if I have anything to say about it."

reaching for your button fly, he yanked it open with rough agitation before tearing at the zipper in one swift motion. "tell me you want this, tell me you want me, tell me so i know i can continue.”

with shaking fingers, you pulled down the zipper of his trousers, freeing his impressive length from its confining prison. he groaned deeply, his warm breath fanning over your cheek, as he palmed your ass, squeezing it firmly.

"finally yours," he growled, as if claiming you for his own, before his hips rocked forward, his throbbing cockhead pressing against your wetness.

"fuck..." you managed to whisper, your voice cracking slightly. "of course i want you."

that was all he needed to hear. without warning, he slammed into you, claiming you with brutal force yet with immense pleasure. his dick throbbed inside of you, stretching you slowly, making you gasp and arch your back into him as he picked up a steady rhythm. his free hand gripped your hair, holding you in place while he took what he believed he owed.

"my pet," he groaned, his own raspy breath matching yours in a yearning rhythm, his lips attacking your neck, “my everything.”

"you belong to me," he proclaimed, as he thrusted into you relentlessly, pounding into you like he was making you his. your hips met his each time he thrust, aiding the process of taking you over completely. his other hand found its way to your breast, his thumb grazing over your nipple, as if begging it to harden under his touch. "and yet, you’ve never claimed me as yours, darling. it's about time you did." he growled, thrashing into you harder. you could feel every inch of him, and you covered your mouth to stifle a whimper.

"i dare you, little one," he urged, pumping into you with more ferocity. a sly look crossed his face, making his beautiful blue eyes darken as he continued to thrust. his hands never stopping their exploration on your body.

"say it, say you're mine," he growled, his hips driving into you, grinding you against the cold wall. "i won't stop until you admit to it, until i see the fire in your eyes that only I can ignite.” you struggled slightly, only to be yanked back by his desperate hands, his thumb digging into your nipple.

"say you're mine, all mine," he whispered, his breaths coming harder, his hips driving into you more frantically.

"all yours,” you whimpered, your voice breaking with each thrust. despite moments of discomfort, there was an undeniable thrill coursing through your veins, a mix of desire and submission. your body was wrapped around his like a glove, and you found yourself worshiping him, craving his touch.

that’s all he needed to pick up the pace, his thrusts getting faster and stronger.

he leaned forward, his lips met your ear as he mumbled, "don’t forget it, sweetheart." his breathing quickened, and the intensity of his thrusts grew as if he was trying to mark you as his. the room grew hazy, the dimming lights and the sound of our bodies colliding echoing in the empty classroom. "you are mine," he insisted, "no one else deserves to touch you, no one else deserves to have you."

as he rammed into you, you could feel the approaching climax, the build up of pleasure stabbing at every nerve. "that's it, sweetheart. feel it!" he roared, his voice graveled with lust. you clung to him, your nails marking his back as you sucked him in. as he thrust harder, you cried out, the climax building up within you like a tidal wave. with your body quivering and pulsating, each thrust felt like a stab at your core, an explosion of pleasure and desire.

you clung to him, riding the wave of ecstasy as his thrusts grew more frenzied. he moaned into your ear, his teeth grazing your skin, bathing you in his passion.

"yes, yes..." he urged, panting heavily as he thrust, his dick swelling with each thrust. "come for me, my love. let go... let me have you..."

finally, the climax hit you like a truck, engulfing your entire body in waves upon waves of pleasure. you collapsed into him, your breaths heavy as you panted against his neck, clinging to the last remnants of the intense pleasure.

"you're beautiful. that was perfect, just fucking perfect,” he groaned against your ear, his hips flexing, plunging into you one last time before he let go, shuddering and gasping. “f-fuck,” he whimpered. his whole world crashed onto you as he filled you to the brim with his seed, the warmth of his release pulsating within you.

he tugged at his pants, gathering himself before he slowly pulled out of you, his chest heaving. "god, that was... you’re so wonderful, everything i imagined," he whispered, his breath hittingched with each movement. you nodded, your eyes still clouded with pleasure, your body still quivering from the force of the intensity.

sitting down, keeping one arm around you, he pulled you close, kissing the top of your head. "i still want nothing else but you, fresh out from a lecture and through each lesson." he murmured, a smirk playing on his lips, "and no one else."

"you will never see him again," he added, his voice firm, "i could never allow that." you just nodded, nuzzling against him as the afterglow of the encounter enveloped both of you.

"what do you think, my love?" he asked, biting his bottom lip, his eyes darkening "can you keep a secret?" you looked at him, nodding slowly. "i’ll keep our little secret,” you whispered, kissing his neck gently.

[trippinsorrows]

10 things + r. reigns

authors note: so, a lot of this stems from convos with the lovely @fearlesschimera where one tree hill was brought up. and i loved me some nathan and haley. plus, i'm loving everything about this otc era and needed to write something about it now vs having to wait with my other stories cause we ain't there yet lmao

might be a part two. idk if this even makes sense tbh

words: 3.1k

warnings: none, really? some language? kayfabe story.

There are exactly two sides to Roman Reigns.

The good side and the bad side. 

And Nova Reigns has experienced them both with an unfortunate increase in the latter versus the former. 

She can pinpoint exactly when it started, too. 

When things started to get difficult again.

2020. COVID. While the world was an absolute mess, chaos and death occurring globally every day, her husband of over ten years wasn’t much better. He’d decided to stay home, not wanting to risk bringing home anything that could put her pregnancy with their first daughter, Arabella, Bella as they affectionately called her, at risk. 

It was also so he could figure out just what the hell he was doing with his career. Roman was frustrated. Tired of going along with what was always told of him instead of doing it his way. And it’s why when he returned back to work that summer, he came back a completely changed man. Bigger, stronger, meaner.

This was a different Roman Reigns. The likes of which the WWE had never seen.

And it’s been a ride ever since.

Up and downs along the way. 

A lot of ups up until WrestleMania 40 where after 1,316 days as the undisputed universal champion and unable to let go of a betrayal from so many years ago, Roman lost. He lost his title and something so much deeper that night.

His sense of self.

Nova did the best she could in the months he’d been off to keep his spirits lifted, to support him, often encouraging Bella to ask her dad to do stuff with her even when Nova technically could. Asked him to care for their two year old daughter, Camillia, Cami, as she worked from home, something she’s done for almost the entirety of her post college career. 

But most importantly, Nova worked to help Roman repair the relationship with their oldest son, Roman Jr., RJ, as they’ve called him since the day he was born.

To say the relationship is awful would be an exaggeration. No, it’s just…..fragile.

A fragility that Nova has tried so hard over the past couple of years to strengthen to no avail. A large part of the issue being the fact that her twenty year old son is just as stubborn as his father. Twins, she often calls them. Similar heights, build, personalities, etc. 

Great when they want to be. A pain in the ass when they don’t need to be.

A painful situation all around though, especially when she thinks back to how this all started, to how someone like Nova ended up with someone like Roman.

And it’s a simple answer, really.

He was an idiot.

Well, when it came to English, that was.

Once upon a time ago, Roman wasn’t the massive WWE superstar that he is now. He was just Roman Reigns. The typical, popular jock of their high school. A football player with the stereotypical ego to match. And she was just Nova, the geeky underclassmen who always had a secret crush on the boy she never thought in a million years would look her way.

And truth be told, if not for the fact his coach threatened to bench him if he didn’t raise his English grade, he probably never would have. Hell, she’s certain the only reason he knew she existed was because she was the best and smartest kid in class, so of course their teacher would recommend her for a tutor. 

The answer was initially no. Not necessarily because she was opposed, but more because her crush on him was too big to not get distracted. Even though his jerkish tendencies should have done just that. 

But Roman has always been charismatic and persistent, and before she knew it, she’d agreed. And that agreement changed everything because it showed her for the first time the nice side of Roman, the side that secretly loved music and was surprisingly good at math. The side that struggled with feeling like he’d never be good enough or live up to his family’s athletic reputation both in football and wrestling.

It made her realize and see that Roman was just as human as everyone else. 

It made her fall in love with him.

And that was rocky, too. Navigating his constant struggle of wanting to admit his feelings for her while also being embarrassed about her and wanting to hide their relationship. It created a fair set of conflict, and Nova shed her fair share of tears.

Especially as she sat on the floor of her bathroom, plush, purple rug cushioning her bottom but not the blow that was the two lines on the pregnancy test in her hands. But, seven months later, with her mom on one side and Roman on the other, she shed a different set of tears. Different kinds of tears.

Happiness.

Happiness at welcoming her first child into the world, Roman Reigns Jr. 

RJ

Being teen parents, especially at the tender ages of 16 and 18 was most definitely nothing like it was depicted on the reality shows. It was rough, especially as Roman started college, opting to stay local to help her raise their child as she finished her senior year. They fought, they argued, they disagreed, but at the end of the day, they still loved.

And it was that love that carried them through the rocky years of Roman trying to figure out just what he wanted to do with his life as Nova worked a job and raised their son while pursuing her degree in software engineering. She also stayed local to benefit from the help of her family while chasing her dream. It was rough, it was hard, but they did it.

Even with having to be on food stamps and financial assistance at times to take care of their child, Nova struggling to enter the male dominated workforce of tech and Roman not always having consistent income, they did it. 

And they were happy.

They still are. Just….not like it used to be. 

Nova still loves her husband with all of her heart and soul. They’ve been through too much together for her to ever really leave him, but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t cross her mind from time to time. Especially over the past four years, watching him almost revert back to that bully from high school as he manipulated and mentally abused his family, his cousins, his lifetime best friends so much so that the Bloodline he worked so hard to create crumbled right before him.

And it’s only deteriorated since he lost the title to Cody Rhodes. Solo had turned on Roman, brutally kicked Jimmy out of the Bloodline and invited in non-family. Week after week, taking shot after shot at her husband, his cousin, his flesh and blood. 

Going so far as to take the sacred ula fala and declare himself the tribal chief. An honor that was bestowed upon Roman by the elders of his family. It finally reached a point where Roman had enough, making his grand return at SummerSlam and preventing his once enforcer from taking the very title Roman still believes is rightfully is. 

He’s made intermittent returns since then, each one proving just why Roman Reigns is being considered one of the greatest of all time, even while still in the middle of his career. His aura is unmatched. The sales don’t lie. The numbers don’t lie. 

The OTC is WWE. 

But, Roman has been a bit on edge since he was unexpectedly jumped by his other cousin, Jacob, Solo’s latest dangerous addition to the Bloodline.

Nova especially knows he was even more pissed because she’d taken the girls to his show that night, at his request.

He hates looking ‘weak’ in front of him, despite the fact that both were too consumed in kids' devices to pay attention. But, she was. And if anything, it was hard for her to see him be attacked like that, all alone. 

No one in his corner.

Jey’s moved to Raw.

Jimmy is still trying to figure out if he even wants to come back.

Solo has lost his damn mind. 

Sami…..no comment.

And Paul is still recovering from his brutal assault by the new Bloodline. 

The island of relevancy has a population of one. And while that one is formidable as all outdoors, he’s still just a man.

Granted, as much as it pains her to see Roman go at this alone, it’s hard for her to feel all the way bad for him. He did this. His actions drove his family away. 

Well, not all of them.

“Game!” Bella’s soft voice pulls Nova from reflecting on memory lane as she redirects her attention to where her son sits on the sofa in Roman’s locker room, Cami on his lap, grabbing his phone.

RJ chuckles, unlocking the iPhone and asking, “what you wanna play?”

Cami gasps and claps her hands. “Cookie!”

“Cookie Kingdom?” RJ asks, clicking around on his phone and handing it to her. “There ya go, lil’ bit.”

Nova’s smile is warm as she reflects on what feels like so long ago. “I remember when you were that little.”

RJ looks up at her, and it never ceases to amaze her how much he looks like his father. Complexion a little deeper, melanin he inherited from her, but outside of that, Roman could never deny paternity. 

He sucks his teeth. “Mama, don’t start that.”

“What?” Nova pouts, leaning back into the sofa, Bella tuned out of the conversation as she watches Bluey on her tablet. It’s always a bit funny to her how uninterested these kids just are when it comes to seeing Roman at work.

At least, not until he’s actually in their line of vision.

“You’ll always be my baby.” Because he will. Twenty and over 6ft tall or not, he’s her baby boy. “And speaking of baby, what’s going on with you and that girl you been dating?”

RJ rolls his eyes and adjusts Cami on his lap. He’s so good with his little sisters. “Nothing.”

Nova smirks knowingly, picking up on the faint hit of redness on his cheeks. “Sure don’t seem like nothing.”

“Mama, she’s just a friend.”

“So ya’ll aren’t sexually active?”

RJ turns up his nose, clearly disgusted. “Ma, how you just gon’ ask me that?”

“Because I’m your mama and not ready to be a grandma, and your daddy would kill you if you were to get a girl pregnant halfway through college.”

It’s not missed upon Nova how the mention of Roman seems to completely dampen his mood. RJ rolls his eyes. “Like he cares at all.”

His comment hurts her. Deeply. “RJ….”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to upset you.”

She ignores that apology, wanting to focus on the initial comment that has her stomach knotting for all the wrong reasons. “Your dad loves you, Junior. You have to know that.”

There’s a slight delay in his answer, and that alone is enough to make Nova know she needs to talk to Roman again tonight about actually talking with his son. A below the surface level conversation. A heart to heart.

“I know that, mama. I do. It’s just….” RJ blows out a breath and shakes his head. “You know how he is.”

She does. Very well. “You can say it. He’s an ass sometimes.” She’s so grateful for the headphones on Bella’s ears and the deep infatuation Cami has with her brother’s phone.

“You said it. Not me.” Mother and son share a laugh, RJ admitting, “I know he means well.”

“He does,” she agrees. “But, that doesn’t mean he can’t do better. I’ll talk to him again.”

RJ immediately looks like he feels bad, which only makes Nova’s chest ache more. “You don’t have to—”

She lifts her finger to silence him. “You’re my son. He’s my husband. I love you both, and it kills me to see ya’ll like this. I’m gonna do what I can.” And that’s a vow. The three of them have been through too much shit over the years for her to just allow the relationship between the two most important men to fall apart. She won’t let that happen. 

She can’t.

And speaking of, the door to Roman’s locker room opens, her husband walking in looking every bit as strong, powerful, and determined as he looked when he interfered yet again with Solo’s match and especially as he closed the door of that cage and challenged Jacob. 

Nova shifts in her seat, the memory bringing up other kinds of feelings which are entirely inappropriate given the presence of her children.

Cami is the first girl to notice him, lifting up her little arms and reaching for him, nearly dropping RJ’s phone in the process if not for his quick reflexes.

He most definitely got that from Roman as well, because Nova has not an athletic bone in her body.

Roman walks over and takes her from RJ, kissing her cheek, gaze almost reluctantly falling on RJ. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

Nova starts to scold Roman for such a cold introduction to their son they haven’t seen since he left for his sophomore year of college over a month ago. “Mom asked me to.”

She’s good at reading between the lines, picking up on the fact that he’s essentially saying he’s only here because of Nova.

Not Roman.

Roman notices this, she’s sure. He’s a perceptive bastard. But, he says nothing. “How’s school?”

“Fine.” 

“RJ.” And her son can be a petty bastard. Like father, like son. She directs her statement to Roman, “I was thinking we could go to his game tomorrow—”

RJ, however, is quick to dismiss this. “You don’t have to.”

Nova’s gaze on Roman allows her to see the hurt that flashes in his eyes at the rejection. But as has been the case lately, he pushes it aside, replacing it with indifference. “You heard what he said. He doesn’t want us there, so we wo—”

“That’s not what I said.” RJ leans back against the chair and shrugs his shoulders, shaking his head, clearly frustrated. “You always do this. Always hear what you want to hear.” He scoffs, head turned, muttering, “I see why everybody left you.”

Nova gasps. “RJ!” She sees it, the hurt that’s just tripled and is about to be expressed in anger, leading to another big blowout between the two of them. Thankfully, this is the moment Bella finally becomes aware of Roman’s presence.

“Daddy!” She pulls off her headphones, climbs off the sofa and runs over to him, hugging his legs. 

Roman doesn’t hesitate to pick her up, both daughters in his arms as Nova leans over, running her hand through her fresh silk press. This. This is what she wanted to avoid. These are the kinds of situations that leave her in tears as she vents to her therapist about her ever growing stress levels, how torn she feels in what to do in moments like this. 

Roman is her husband, but RJ is her son. Neither is fully right, but neither is fully wrong either. How does one handle that?

Thankfully, it’s not long after that Roman is being called to prepare to get back out in the ring. This means a probably needed separation from the two titans in her life. Nova holds Cami this time, while Bella hangs onto RJ as they’re escorted ringside. 

It takes a bit of persuasion to get RJ to agree to come with her. She can see he’s ready to just leave.

But, reminding him of how big a help he is with the girls seems to win him over because while he’s certainly not in the best of places with his dad, RJ is a mama’s boy through and through. He loves him some Nova and would do anything to help her. 

Even if it means helping her with the two siblings that came as a complete shock to him.

It still makes Nova laugh a little as she recalls the horrified and almost disgusted expression on his face as she and Roman broke the pregnancy news to him.

“I didn’t even know ya’ll still did that.” And if his statement wasn’t bad enough, he just had to add insult to injury as the blunt almost 16 year-old he was at the time. “Ain’t ya’ll kinda old to still be freaking?”

No. 

Never that.

“Daddy!” This time it’s Cami who’s calling out to Roman, recognizing his new music before he even emerges from the back looking as badass as he always does. Nova is temporarily in a state of awe, overhearing Bella asking RJ to hold her so she can see better. 

Roman has come so far, done so well for himself, even with things with his family being a hot ass mess, there’s still no denying he is it. That he has it. It’s undeniable. She almost feels bad for Cody.

He’ll always be stuck in Roman’s shadow. 

The thought makes her suddenly curious about what could be one of the reasons behind the strife between her firstborn and husband. Nova tucks this in the back of her mind, planning to discuss it further in therapy.

As Roman moves into the ring, Nova stands on the sidelines, holding her baby girl on her hip, smiling back and forth between the two. She watches Roman move around the ring on their commercial break

And when his gaze falls on the set of them, her heart swells as he mouths ‘I love you’ before seamlessly transitioning back into that hardened, determined expression.

And this is why there’s two sides to Roman Reigns. The good side being the one that she sees in that brief, vulnerable exchange. The one that used to kiss her pregnant stomach as he confided in her his fears about not being a good dad, about feeling not ready, about worrying about failing in life. 

Failing her. 

Failing himself.

Failing their child.

The man who worked so hard and gave everything his all to prove he was someone, becoming that someone, yet somehow losing something in the process.

Nova knows it’s still in there though, knows that he is still the boy he fell in love with many moons ago. She knows that as frustrated as he makes her, as cold he can be, as disconnected he can seem, that love is still there and just as strong. 

And she’ll fight for it. 

For him. 

For their son.

For their family. 

She has to.

[suunysuuny]

Baby in his ranch days

Oop what if Strabo took Sej for riding lessons and Billy is one of the workers, who does a little cattle rustling on the side. Everyone in town knows but they can't prove it. Until one day Strabo does somehow(Capitol cameras?) and threatened to turn Billy in unless he married Strabo

Sej going in for riding lessons and going home with a new stepmommy

If Sej still needs riding lessons, does that mean he's quite young? I mean I kinda started imagining this in baby Sej's pov. He's sad that he has no friend in the Capitol, then Strabo tried to cheer him up by taking him to horse riding. Yayyy Sej loves ponies

The owner of the ranch gave them Billy as a tutor, says he's one of the best, but in truth he didn't trust Billy that much and he thinks Billy is too young, he wants his other more experienced cowboys on their position instead of babysitting a spoiled brat

It turned out great bc Sej fell in love with Billy almost right away, idolizing him even, asking for Billy every weekend, it was the first time Sej showed such enthusiasm in something ever since they set foot in the Capitol

Maybe that was the reason why Strabo decided to take Billy home. He hinted at it at first, but Billy either didn't quite understand or he was acting dumb, then Strabo just got impatient

If his son wants something, he's gonna make sure Sej get it. Although, throughout the whole thing nobody actually asked what Sej wanted lol. Strabo being mean and just a little bit hypocritical is my jam

[yunohentai]

night lights. warnings: noncon/cnc ?, pervert heeseung, boob guy hee, reader's older (like 2 years?), reader's shy and sophisticated, virgin reader + experienced hee, dumbification, she says no (which is like noncon) but is enjoying it so its cnc, clicking pics and recording sex too ig??, indication of blackmailing towards the end, he masturbates alot. this is like real filth with some wild kinks. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK + minors dni please.

Lee Heeseung has huge secrets, everyone thinks he's a perfect boy with great grades and a promising future ahead... but little do they know. He's the biggest pervert you could come across. Just 19 yet he's obsessed with sex. He lost his virginity at the age of 17 to a 20 year old girl who rode his dick in a huge crowded party. he was so obsessed with the feeling that since then he's been having sex every week, different pussy every time and well he got blessed to have a huge, thick cock which he knew how to use well, oh and his amazing looks... got all the girls on his dick, ready to let him ruin them.

While you, Y/F/N... knows only the main thing. 'Sex is done to reproduce.' without too much of an idea, and neither you've ever felt any "dark" desire. Innocent little sweetheart who is focused on building up a career and leading a stable life. You love shopping, studying English literature and posting on Instagram. Your tits are so huge. It's as if your tits are honey and boys are bees, they want you and your body so much... but you don't wanna give it up.

Heeseung and you were in the same college but have never crossed ways until today. You were wearing a sage green dress till your knee, which showed alot of your cleavage, your sister always bought you outfits like those in hopes you'll finally have a boy in your life.

You were on your way to class while reading through your 'Wuthering Heights' notes quickly, not noticing your way as you bumped into a guy, falling on top of him. It was obviously none other than, Heeseung. It was a very bad collision. You fell in his lap, your arm hurting as he just stared at you with his mouth wide open, eyes on the main attraction, the huge tits that were almost slipping out of the dress.

Unknowingly his hand moved towards your chest, fixing your dress as you gasped softly and looked into his eyes. he felt your cleavage and the softness made him harden a little as he got up and helped you up too. "I'm so sorry." he apologized and bowed, eyes stuck on your milky white legs. "I'm sorry too! Please forgive me!" you felt really shy and guilty as you bowed, your breasts coming all out again as he moaned lowly and made you stand straight again, "hey it's fine. anyways, I'm heeseung. Freshman." you smiled at him while fixing your dress.

That fucking smile. His heart fluttered, and butterflies filled all of his stomach and he smiled too. "I'm Y/n, Junior." he nodded his head as her cheeks burned with shyness. "I hope we become friends." he winked and walked away, leaving you a mess because of how well that handsome boy treated you and even cared about how your dress revealed your private parts! so considerate!!

He had left straight for the bathroom as he then sat in cubicle, gasping to himself. " Oh wow" he said to himself as he then started wanking, he couldn't help thinking of her. Heeseung tries to use his negative emotions like, anger and all because he works his ass off all the time. So he mostly channels those emotions sexually, kinda hot.

~ ~ ~

The day had ended as you were by your locker, putting in your books and taking the one you're gonna study at home. as heeseung came running to you. "Oh my god- listen y/n do you major in English lit. ?" he asked her, acting all worried. as you nodded your head in confusion. "why?" you asked and he leaned on the lockers. "Okay so our teacher is making me get tutored by a very annoying girl so I told him I'll find someone else, and while looking for someone else I saw you. Do you mind?" he told her with a pout on his lips, and the look in his eyes, that could make everyone melt. "Hmm... I'm not that good at it but I can help."

heeseung smiled. " thanks alot!! btw, your number?" he asked with a pretty smile and you nodded while softly blushing as you both exchanged numbers and shook hands.

~ Timeskip to a month or so later ~

You and Heeseung sat in the hallroom of your rented apartment as you helped him out with the freshman English lit syllabus, wearing shorts and sleeve less top that barely kept your tits inside. "Okay let's take a two minute break." you said and took your phone scrolling through your instagram. you were wearing a really soft shade of pink which highlighted your hard nipples because of cold and your cleavage. Heeseung pulled out his phone and subtly clicked alot of pictures of them, from even different angles.

"hey, i'm gonna use the bathroom." he said and you nodded, very busy on your phone as he quitely went towards the bathroom but sneaked into your bedroom. he knew you won't look for him for the next 10 minutes, so he went into your wardrobe for like the 5th time this month and stole another pair of your panties, it was a lacy white one as he sniffed it and moaned. "Like always. even her fucking panties smell heavenly." he said and put it in his pocket as he went back outside.

he was a bit shocked to see you stretching from your spot, your complete breasts visible and ass in the air, as you lazily tried to grab the charger and your earphones. your hard pink nipples rubbed on the wool carpet getting harder as he felt his dick harden, he looked down and saw the boner. he sighed and coughed, making her gasp and sit back up, fixing her clothes. "Are you alright?" he asked and you nodded. "Let-let's get back to work!" you said and he shook his head. "Wait y/n let me help you." he said and smirked, he knew you were gullible and he could atleast get to touch your tits tonight.

He sat down, way closer to you than before. "Straighten your back." you were about to question but he shushed you and you nodded, giving up. You followed his command as he then leaned down, now his face was almost buried in your chest and your eyes widened. "Hees-" he silenced you and grabbed your tits using his hands. "Heeseung stop!" you said in an angry tone. "just let me do it, y/n!" he said and removed your shirt with one hand and held your hands tightly with the other one. he was so ecstatic to finally see the tits.

he hooked his lips on your nipple and started sucking on it aggressively while caressing the other one, you could feel wetness spread down between your legs. Confusion was what you felt, what's happening- why am i loving it..? she let out a string of hot moans as he grew harder and harder, he then sucked her tits really good, the nipples un-hardening slowly. he then pulled away.

"see. that's how they un-harden" he rolled his eyes and you looked into his eyes. "oh... thank you... heeseung.. can we conti-continue?" he shook his head. "I'm going home." you nodded as he left.

you didn't know or understand this feeling between your legs, as you went into your bedroom, touching between your legs and gasping. "Oh god- i'm just gonna sleep-" you gasped and hugged the pillow between your legs falling asleep.

And well in your sleep, you humped that pillow, thinking it's heeseung's thigh. oh your first wet dream!

while heeseung thrusted his dick into your panties, and also wanked himself off, moaning and grunting your name. how you moaned, your scent, the smell of you in the panties, your tits, your innocence, your beauty.. everything turned him on so bad as he grabbed his phone and wanked himself more and faster, watching you boobs.

~ The next week ~

For the full next week you were acting weird. turning red whenever heeseung was around, and not even avoiding him at all, trying to get closer to him. While heeseung enjoyed the attention and continued to secretly steal your panties and click lewd pictures of you.

For example, He dropped his fork down on purpose and went down the table, where you sat with your legs open wide and enjoyed the food as he clicked a photo. Then when you were busy looking for something under your bed, he got a picture of your perfect round ass. Oh and when you thought he was in the bathroom and sheepishly pushed your hand inside your shorts, feeling and caressing her clit. that photo made him feel so fucking turned on. he litreally caught you touching yourself, he thought. And last, when you had left your main door unlocked and he got in, you had taken off your lens and were showering, you didn't even see him when he got the most lewd of all pictures and videos. Photo and video of you squeezing and scrubbing your tits and them bouncing etc.

He was in love with your body and with sexualizing you. He was excited to fuck you and feel your pussy.

Today you went over to heeseung's so you could help him out with the work and studying as his exam was approaching. you wore the tightest and revealing dress today. it was till your thigh and super tight on the breast region making them pop out more. you had no idea why you were doing this but dressing up for him was fun.

you rang the bell and smiled as he opened the door. "hey y/n, welcome" he greeted as you walked in, taking of your jacket and hanging it. heeseung was done with life now, you're wearing a peach dress till your thighs which was flying everywhere because of the fan, showing him your black underwear and the fact your tits were spilling out and your nipples were visible, you weren't even wearing a bra.

he was now almost offended, she acts innocent? and then dresses like that? is she fooling me.. he pushed away the thoughts and led her into his bedroom as the two sat down and today you were helping him finish his sketches for submission. his arm was pressed in the region between your breasts as you led his hand and helped him sketch. "see, that's how you do it. you're bad at this." you said and continued to lead his hand, as your tits then rubbed on his arm.

That. drived him insane, but he held back and decided to play the same game with you. you giggled at his bad drawing and made fun of him. "Oh yeah? You're so mean" He said and started to tickle you as you giggled and fell backwards onto his bed as he was on top of you tickling you while you giggled and bounced. His eyes were stuck on your tits. "OKAY STOP STOP NOW."

He stopped and you looked into his eyes, seeing a certain look on his face which scared you and brought that same feeling between your legs. "Y/n, Can I?" he asked leaning in to kiss you as you let the thoughts leave your head and pulled him closer by the collar of his shirt and let him lead.

His hands were next to your head as he softly kissed you, slowly speeding up and biting your lips. His hands ranged lower while touching your thighs and touching you sensually as you made out with while breathing heavily. Soon the reality hit you as you pulled away and tried to push him off of you. "heeseung no no-"

You were resisting him but the soft look in his eye had now been replaced by something darker, something more scary. Chills went down your spine and your pussy fluttered. "Shh" He whispered and started to leave a trail of harsh bites kisses from your chin to your shoulder blade. "I've been waiting for this moment. Don't fuck it up for me."

"Heeseung stop, let me go." you said as a few moans left your mouth too. He rolled his eyes and slapped your face as you gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. With one swift moment he threw everything that was on the bed away and pulled you closer to him.

"Are you nicely gonna take it off or should i tear it off?" He asked as you looked at him with doe eyes hoping he'd stop but the need in your eyes stood out to him more. "Fine." And there was your dress, left only in shred around your thighs.

Your tits fell out with a small bounce as he licked his lip at that view. He shimmied off the shreds and your panties to the side as you tried to stop him, few tears forming in your eyes. I want to feel more.. you thought but tried to kick him off of yourself. "Please stop this!!"

His hand moved between your legs harshly as the other one held you down, he rubbed your clit harshly and waited for your wetness to grow so he could put his fingers inside your walls while you complained and cried. His lips were abusing your tits like an animal, biting, pulling the nipple and kissing them. You were moaning and rubbing your hips against his fingers while he thrusted them harshly.

"It- hurts.." You cried out with your eyes closed and he smiled. "Just the way my dick used to hurt watching you in those tiny clothes love." He said and continued abusing your tits and pussy. The tears weren't there because of disgust or any negative feeling, you were crying because you were actually liking it. You knew your dad would kill you if he found out you consummated before marriage.

He was just there admiring your beauty as you threw your head back and moaned softly to his touches. He moved a bit away and stopped touching you as you looked at him. He was rummaging through his side table cupboard as he pulled out a vibrator. You were confused as you watched his click a button and put it into your pussy. "OH GOD-" you moaned and threw your head back.

He then took off his own clothes and started to rub his tip while watching you get off. "Need to get my dick wet myself because you're too dumb to do it for me." He tsked. He noticed how the area around her breast and her face had turned, there was drowsiness in her eyes. "M-my belly-" you moaned as he then stopped to pull the vibrator out.

"Please stop it heeseung... this isn't r-right" You whispered as his hands moved behind your head, and he grabbed your head by your hair. His lips were inches away from yours as he whispered. "I don't care." and there he was, pushing both of your hands above your head and pushing your legs wide apart.

You could feel it, all too much. Even the smallest of touch and the smallest sound in the nearest area, you could feel it all, hear it all. You closed your eyes tightly, slowly fighting the grip his hand had on your hands while he just slid his penis inside you, your faces inches away as a few more tears fell out of your eyes. "I hate you" You whispered out as you felt rippling pain with his soft motion. "D-DON'T!" Heeseung stares at you as you complain about the slight pain.

"Be a woman, Y/n." He whispered as he slowly started to move, taking his time and let the pain turn into pleasure. The moment it did change, it was too clear. You couldn't protest anymore as your hands moved to his shoulder, scratching and wanting him to increase his speed so bad but no word left your mouth except the moans.

"Fuck. this feels so good. so so good" he panted out like an excited child, but in a deep voice. You could feel the shivers on your back as you shook underneath him, letting your breasts bounce and jiggle with each and every hard thrust. Heeseung continued to pound into you senselessly, his eyes stuck on your breasts well it shifted to see your face twist into a pleasure-ful expression. "Gorgeous"

His hands were free now so they dived lower, rubbing your clit while he moved his hips graciously rubbing against THE stop. You felt these overwhelming feelings for the first time in your life, you knew you could just explode anytime and then there came the tickles in your belly. "My belly!" you gasped as you felt his pace increase, it was indicating your coming orgasm and well also how deep his dick was into you. It could be seen when he thrusted inside. "m-my god-"

"You're all mine now" he smiled, watching his cock create the bulge in your belly, proudly. He groaned when you clenched a little too hard on his dick. It twitched inside of you, as you felt him paint your insides white. That feeling broke your control too as you felt all of your tension and stress evaporate along with the "liquid".

You felt free, but little did you know by putting that small camera right in the correct corner... he might have changed everything, and made sure that you stay with him and only him.

[solecize]

°⛧  ‧  ₊   　 　⠀mnemonic 　⠀⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀ [5]

　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 *ੈ  ✩  ‧  ₊  ˚  .ೃ

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: swimmer!jk x female reader, college au, slow burn friends to lovers to ??, fluff, angst, slice of life, coming of age

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut, substance use, college party and hookup culture, mentions of greek life hazing, characters experiencing just about every feeling a lost college student goes through, depictions of and discussions surrounding mental health (depression, anxiety, substance abuse), slow burn ish, disgusting amounts of yearning and clueless pining, yes he's her tutor at one point, yes they're in denial, also features other third gen idols, dare i say found family, there is a beach episode and a fireworks festival too lol

in which a little box of memories tells the story of how you and jeon jungkook slowly, but surely, fell in love against the backdrop of the growing pains of your college years. jungkook presents this box to you as a final gift at graduation and each item in the box is a snapshot frozen in time, capturing the forces that brought the two of you from strangers to friends to more. 

⇢ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐱: masterlist. / prologue. / the loyalty points card from the campus coffee shop. / ticket to the haunted horrors house (admission for two). / a worn out deck of cards. / handwritten no-bake cheesecake recipe. / cd soundtrack for stand by me (1986). / travel brochure to derry beach. / a clipping from the school newspaper. / pieces of confetti. / one empty tequila shooter. / epilogue & the final item.

⇢ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: if it wasn't clear in the last chapter, the characters go to college in a place where the legal drinking age is 18! anyway i am so sorry for what happens in this chapter i swear

handwritten no-bake cheesecake recipe

 everyone had an achilles heel and yours was the inability to allow yourself to feel negative emotions, rather than suppress and forget. there were a number of ways this manifested itself, such as your need to take on piles of work until you were numb. by spring of your first year in college, specifically around exam season, there was an abundance of things on your plate, including the daily struggles of a young adult learning how to be far from home. 

 getting sick and not having your mom around to make soup for you. failing an assignment for the first time. looking around and wondering why everyone around you seemed to have their lives together, while yours was falling apart. 

 the first year of college was pounds of stress, far heavier than you could have anticipated. you wanted to muster a tight smile and submit your assignments at 11:59, pretending that the weight of the world wasn’t crushing your shoulders. your friends were there to lean on, but you still felt so alone. 

 despite having an exam in two days and a final paper due that same week, you were set on helping out with the ceramics club - yes, the same one yeri was in and subsequently pulled you into - and their end-of-the-year bake sale. yeri insisted that you could pass on the initiative to focus on finals, but you took it on, hoping it would distract you from everything else going on in your life. 

 instead, you were crying on the floor of your dorm’s communal kitchen at two in the morning, with no dessert in sight.

 “y/n?” a voice echoed and you nearly jumped out of your skin, not expecting another soul around.

 jungkook emerged from the hallway, a crease in between his brows as he stumbled upon your frail figure on the ground. he was clad in plaid pajamas and a grey t-shirt, a plastic bag in his hand. you figured he was picking up a late-night food delivery order. it took you a second to realize it was him, as it’d been a few days since you hung out.

 this didn’t seem like much to anyone, but the fact of the matter was that you and jungkook became inseparable over these past few months. yes, your other friends were also present more often than not, but you didn’t have to keep track to know that you saw jungkook the most. living two floors apart helped. thinking about it further, you remembered the last time the two of you were together was at some dodgy nightclub on the weekend. 

 you shuddered at the memory - or lack thereof. he convinced you to go shot for shot with him that night and you ended up being hauled into bed by doyeon and jaehyun at the end of it all. flashes of smoke and strobe lights swam in your mind, as well as the pounding headache you felt the next morning. you figured that jungkook also suffered greatly that night and stayed home for the days following, as you did, and that was why you didn’t see him.

 bet you won’t do it, was what jungkook exclaimed that night, when he proposed the game.

 meanwhile, you don’t even remember how you ended up on the floor in the first place, a sad sight to behold. the only thing you knew was that you were exhausted, likely running on just three hours of sleep from the past two days alone. 

 you squeezed your eyes shut, cursing that he crossed your path when you were in such a vulnerable state. you elected to swallow a response, hoping your silence would trick him into moving forward with his walk, but it only attracted his presence to step in front of you. it was a hesitant step and he tried to not meet you right in the eye.

 you offered a weak smile, as if your cheeks weren’t stained with tears. “hi koo.”

 his gaze softened and you were prepared to take a deep breath, telling him you were okay and that you didn’t need help with anything. instead, he slid down the wall you leaned against. he sat next to you.

 “is that cheesecake?”

 the question made you blink slowly, not expecting such a casual tone - especially when it was obvious that you were just muffling your sobs on the cold floor. you saw that he was, in fact, gesturing to the half-forgotten bowl of liquid ingredients on the countertop ahead of you. 

 “mhmm,” was all you could let out. “ceramics club bake sale.”

 partaking in the ceramics club seemed out of the ordinary for you. you weren’t much of a physically creative person, but attending one introductory workshop at the beginning of the year was all it took for you to be enamoured with ceramics and pottery. the club had open access to wheels and kilns and you took most opportunities to attend open studio hours, eventually spending so much time with the club that you took on a role as one of the club officers. this led you to being roped into fundraising initiatives, thus the cheesecake. 

 “your cheesecake must be really good for them to be demanding it in the middle of finals,” he joked, setting his bag on the floor. “i’m surprised you have time, after we were just cooped up in the library.”

 this semester, you, jungkook and jaehyun signed up for the same philosophy elective that held its final exam last week. the three of you studied in the library for the entire day before, which took up the majority of your sunday. you’d actually been the one who requested the study session, as you’d been falling behind on lectures and missed several quizzes. truth be told, your other courses were simply getting too overwhelming for you and like a ripple effect, your grades suffered altogether because of one another. unfortunately for you, the exam didn’t go as you hoped and you were certain you fell short of a passing grade. 

 “i find time,” you shrugged.

 “hey, are you still bummed about the exam?” he asked, frowning. “i’m sure you’ll be fine! you worked really hard.” his tone was convincing, encouraging even, but the weight in your chest remained. 

 at the end of the day, philosophy wasn’t even the biggest of your problems. your grades were slipping as a whole across the board, as you didn’t realize the workload college would bring to your plate and it hit you like a car. the feelings of inadequacy were nothing but new to you, as you felt as though you were getting left behind. you were falling and failing. 

 you mumbled, “how was your hangover?” the last thing you wanted to talk about was that exam.

 jungkook looked at you strangely, seemingly stunned at your question. “huh?”

 sure, it had been a few days since the two of you saw each other, but you shared his look of confusion. you had even checked up on him the day after and he forgot to reply to you, so you assumed he suffered pretty bad. 

 “from saturday. when we went out?”

 an unreadable expression eroded across jungkook’s features - just for a split second. no one else would have caught it but you. from all the time the two of you spent together, it was transparent to you. however, it dispersed as fast as it appeared and he plastered on a smile. you caught onto its artificial corners, but kept silent.

 “god, it was awful,” jungkook shook his head with the same smile. “definitely not drinking for a while after that.”

 “same. all i remember is doyeon force feeding me gravol the next morning.”

 you nodded slowly and tried to ignore the way his eyes bore into yours, as if trying to read you. he gave up after a moment, looking back onto the tile of the floor. 

 jungkook then spoke after a beat. “that’s all you remember? how’s your head?”

 your eyebrows furrowed. instinctively, you touched your head, wondering what he was talking about. his eyes picked up on your confusion and he blinked slowly. 

 “my head? is something wrong with my head?” you questioned, patting your hair.

 jungkook laughed, but it was a dry one of disbelief. “your head. you hit it when we were out on saturday.”

 you hummed in realization. jaehyun mentioned that you banged your head into the bathroom door at the club, which you did not remember at all. probably because you fucking banged your head. it ached the next morning and you vaguely recall pressing a bag of frozen peas to your head.

 “oh yeah. way better,” you dismissed with a wave of your hand. “it was pretty bad, wasn’t it?”

 “so, you really don’t remember?” he raised his eyebrows. 

 you shook your head. “no. honestly, i don’t remember anything from saturday,” you said. “i guess that was the point of drinking so much.”

 jungkook laughed dryly once more, even though you didn’t find it that funny. you didn’t have much else to say. were you going to delve into how awful the past two weeks had been? it was probably glaringly obvious to him. 

 then, he asked the question that sat on the tip of his tongue since running into you. forgetting the previous topic at hand, jungkook eyed you with concern. 

 “y/n, what’s going on?”

 “this is really tiring, jungkook,” you whispered and he knew it had nothing to do with cheesecake. 

 after a moment, like jungkook was taking it all in, he sat up straighter and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. he decided that you needed his friendship more than anything else right now. 

 in spite of everything.  

 you looked up at him through your eyelashes, trying your best to ignore the stab of pain in your heart, as you mulled over your troubles. jungkook saw it and smiled at you, a real one this time. 

 “slow down. you can only control so much,” he murmured. 

 the words were just as heavy as your exhaustion, but instead of weighing you down, they embraced you. it didn’t bury your yearning for success that seemed to be so far from your grasp. you weren’t sure until that moment what exactly was suffocating you - it was the weight of expectations. the expectations you had for yourself, the ones placed on you, the ones you had for your ideal college life.

 it burned to know that college wasn’t just parties and sex and cutting class. it came with realizing you’d gone days at a time without giving your mom a call. the feeling of loss in the moment you noticed that your high school friends - the ones who you never missed a single lunch with and watched you through all of your highs and lows - were just faces on your social media feed. you gave up so much and all for what?

 you let out a small snort. “you know, that’s what they told me during my first workshop with the ceramics club.”

 as usual, jungkook listened with an open heart. his touch was encouraging and he meant it. 

 “tell me more.”

 “well,” you shifted slightly, trying to steady your voice. “wet clay is extremely impressionable and can be molded so easily, but that also means you can make mistakes as easily.”

 jungkook encouraged, in a soft tone, “go on.”

 “and mistakes can be fixed without a problem, but it’s best to go slowly and understand that you’re working with the wheel, not against it,” you continued, staring up at the ceiling. “so, yeah. go slow because you can’t control everything.”

 as you explained, you made a shape with your hands in mid-air, as if feeling the pottery wheel around your fingers. jungkook watched intently, nodding and watching your delicate movements, just as though you were carving out vases and bowls right in front of you.

 he said, “i guess life and ceramics go together pretty well, huh?” he smiled. “maybe we’re all just wet clay.”

 this made you let out a genuine laugh at the comparison. “you make it sound bad.”

 “nah. i actually think it totally makes sense,” he replied. “wanna know why?”

 you raised an eyebrow. “do tell.”

 “clay only becomes ceramic through fire.”

 in that moment, you did feel a little bit like wet clay. grey and sad, practically melting on the floor of the communal kitchen. you weren’t sure how you even got to this point, the exhaustion creeping up behind you in the shadows and underneath nights of partying.

 you sighed. “fire still burns.”

 at that, jungkook just chuckled. “that’s the point, stupid.” he playfully flicked your arm, as if the two of you were bantering about the weather and not the weight of the world on your shoulders. 

 jungkook had an uncanny ability to do that, to make everything seem lighter than it actually was. he scooted slightly so that his legs were now straight in front of him, lounging on the kitchen floor with you like it was nothing. 

 “i didn’t know you were a ceramics expert,” you joked.

 “hey, i’m multi-talented,” he remarked.

 a beat of silence enveloped the two of you. while jungkook’s words certainly comforted you, it didn’t expel the fact that you were obviously not okay and that your eyes weren’t raw and red. you awkwardly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, not knowing what to say because all you could think of were your grades and cheesecake. of being the perfect everything - student, daughter, friend, whatever - which you were far from.

 jungkook cleared his throat. “hey, it’s gonna be alright. it’s just freshman year grades, you can always get your gpa up later.”

 “i think i failed statistics, too,” you confessed, burying your face in your hands. “if i did, i’ll have to retake it next year.”

 “i can tutor you,” he offered without hesitation. 

 though the burden of knowing that you likely flunked stats ached in your chest, you knew you just had to admit defeat. a crack of a smile appeared on your lips at jungkook’s words. in all honesty, you were too prideful to even seek out your own tutor, but jungkook made the idea seem so casual, like he was offering to just walk you home or take notes for you in class.

 “really?”

 “really,” jungkook chuckled, ruffling your hair. “we can take it on together.”

 starting college was supposed to be a magic wand that waved everything bad that ever happened to you goodbye. it was naive to think that all of your problems would vanish because you chose to take on new challenges and make new friends, as if carving out a new identity would take away your flaws and shine your best qualities at the same time. 

 “i just feel stupid, koo. it’s self-centered, but i always thought i was smart. i was the only person in my high school to make it out of that town,” you said and the tears began stinging your eyes. “i’m supposed to go far.”

 instead, you ended up realizing that you were a small fish in a big pond. an ocean, even. everybody was a scholar, everybody had your unique qualities tenfold, everybody had your big dreams. you were just another number in a lecture hall full of hundreds of faceless visionaries. 

 “am i just. . .not as smart as i thought i was? special, talented?”

 “you are. your grades don’t define you,” jungkook asserted, shaking his head. “it’s our first year here. you have so much time and you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.” 

 “but. .  .” you trailed off, not finding words. you could argue back and forth about how important grades were, but it only felt empty.

 jungkook said, “i get it. your parents are probably counting on your back home. all your teachers told you about how gifted you were growing up. everyone has all these expectations on you and you don’t want to fall short,” he sighed. “mine are the same. if i don’t become a doctor or a lawyer, i’m scared my parents will see me as wasted potential.”

 he began telling the story of his overbearing parents, who ignored jungkook in favour of his older, successful brother. although jungkook was raised miles away from you and under a completely different roof with his own story, you were surprised to find your reflection in him. 

 “he’s always gotten their attention and has always been their priority. i love my parents and they love me back. they provide for me and support me,” jungkook closed his eyes. “but i feel like they don’t even know me.” 

 you bit the inside of your cheek. “it’s not fair,” you said. “how could that feel that way about you? you’re. . . “

 in that moment, you had to stop yourself. who knows what you would have said? that he’s kind and courageous? one of the most hard-working people you knew? funny and beautiful? but, jungkook smiled weakly at your words and didn’t press further. 

 “i know. it tears me up inside, sometimes,” he admitted. “but, i try. that’s all we can do, right?”

 at this point, stray teardrops trailed down your face and you hastily swiped them away until your cheeks were raw. “ugh, i’m so fucking sorry,” you bitterly chuckled. “you wanted to just get your food and go back to your room, i’m sorry for dumping all this on you.”

 to your surprise, jungkook pulled you into a hug. you didn’t realize it until that moment, but you’d already memorized his scent. you shared hugs now and then, often when you greeted one another and bade goodbye - but, it was an odd feeling that you anticipated the smell of sandalwood and mandarin. you froze, as his embrace stopped time even just for a little bit. 

 “you’re not dumping,” he replied, not yet letting go.

 in a small voice, you spoke up. “jungkook?”

 “mhm?” he responded, buried in your shoulder.

 “you know. .  .you’re,  like, my best friend.”

 your cheeks felt hot when you said this. it felt kind of silly, declaring a best friend, and you didn’t think you’ve done such a thing since elementary school. jungkook stiffened in surprise, but didn’t let go. you felt a second, immediate wave of embarrassment for catching him off guard. but, then, he replied.

 “you’re my best friend, too. and our friendship comes before anything.”

 and he meant it. you could feel it. despite all of the crazy thoughts and worries running through your head about school and life, everything became quiet in the moment. even if it were for just a second, you felt calm. jungkook rubbed your back. 

 “i’m sorry for making you stay up like this.” you sniffled. “you have your own shit to worry about.”

 “exactly - everyone goes through it, so don’t apologize. it’s the whole becoming thing.”

 did becoming mean growing backwards? once a child with their head raised up high, demanding to be treated like an adult - only to bring your knees to your face and cry into your sleeves as a grown-up? you only ever wanted to get older and figure out who you were, but you were shocked to find that you were all but weak. all but human. 

 when jungkook held you, though, you didn’t feel weak. you didn’t feel judged. it was a certain safety that you struggled to accept in yourself. he held you as long as you needed it, until you finally mumbled something about cheesecake against his chest.

 you felt the rumble of his low chuckle, as he let go and glanced at the countertop. the microwave situated below the cupboards indicated that it was nearly three in the morning. 

 jungkook suddenly rose to his feet, as he uncrumpled an abandoned piece of paper that you scribbled instructions on, right next to the mixing bowl. he turned back to you with a raised eyebrow.

 “you should probably go to bed n - “

 “where’s your graham crackers?” he interrupted, eyes scanning the kitchen. “i can get started on the crust, you finish the filling?”

 knowing yourself, that was likely the only thing that would pick you off the floor that night. jungkook grinned wide when you reluctantly stood up. even though you’d fixed a permanent frown on your face that entire night, you couldn’t help but mirror his smile. it was inevitable and so was he. 

 several nights prior

 it was just you and the boys tonight, mostly against your will. doyeon cancelled after moaning about her period cramps and yeri was awarded with a dreaded saturday morning exam. while you never said no to a night out, especially since you were under so much stress, you had never been out with just them. 

 it turned out exactly how you thought it was going to go.

 seokmin ended up flirting with every pretty thing with legs, while jaehyun was surrounded by the friends of those girls. he was the perfect wingman, especially since his shy, boyish charm contrasted greatly with seokmin’s vibrant personality. they were currently at the bar, chatting up two girls in matching denim mini skirts. 

 you cursed doyeon out for leaving you here. the best part of going out to the club was dancing with the girls, giving fake names to guys who tried to hit on you, yelling at the dj. instead, for the first time ever, you were bored under the pink laser lights. 

 to be fair, it had only been about ten minutes since your arrival - which, honestly, made it more impressive that seokmin and jaehyun were able to get the ball rolling so fast. the four of you entered with a decent buzz already going and went straight to the bar. meanwhile, as this was all happening, jungkook offered to buy some drinks and the poor guy waited on the bartender for what seemed like forever.

 the nightclub was spacious, far more spacious than your group’s other usual choices, where you would be bumping into another body practically every step. it was your first time here and you breathed in your surroundings, as much as you could in your dizziness. the modern interior was accentuated by led chandeliers and had two floors, teeming with people. you could feel every single beat through your chest with the boom of the speakers, as it physically rumbled and spread throughout your entire body. it was like each song rang through the air, thick and heavy and forceful. if you let yourself stand still for more than one second, the atmosphere would you sway you in another direction.

 “here! it’s rum!” jungkook whipped around, relieved to finally have two shot glasses in hand.

 doyeon and yeri would have loved this place. the strobe lights captured and faded one’s features all at once and you noticed this upon looking over at jungkook. the way his tattoos adorned his arms were dreamlike. it was like you could see every speck of brown in his eyes, while also somehow blurring over him like a painting glaze. or, maybe you were just tipsy.

 you grinned. he knew your favourite. the two of you clinked glasses as gently as you could, since you always ended up spilling the liquid, and knocked the liquor back. a small drop still ended up falling on your chest, but you wore a lacy black tube top that was forgiving. 

 jungkook suddenly jerked away, his eyes shooting elsewhere across the room. you opened your mouth to make a remark on his fidgeting, but he already began chattering away about your friends.

 “aw man, look at them!” he yelled over the music, nervously laughing. “sorry! this is probably gonna be not as fun without doyeon and yeri!” 

 he pointed over to seokmin and jaehyun, who were still talking to girls. usually, the six of you would arrive to the club or bar together, only for the girls to split up to go to the dancefloor and leave the guys to their own devices. you grumbled under your breath, realizing your predicament.

 “sorry, am i gonna be cockblocking you all night?” you spoke into jungkook’s ear with a smirk.

 he cackled. “nah, sweetheart. we can have some fun.”

 jungkook knew just how stressed you were. your eyes made it obvious, but he’d also been helping you study and complete final papers all month. he knew you needed tonight.

“oh yeah?”

 “yeah. bet you can’t outdrink me,” jungkook declared, as he took away your empty shot glass from your grasp and slid it back onto the bar counter.

 he could have easily gone off and joined the other two to find their fun of the night. instead, jungkook stuck right by you and it didn’t even seem like he was forcing it, trying to be a good friend and not leave you hanging. his grin was inviting and he didn’t care that there were several girls eying him up from all directions, only focused on you. you didn’t want to ruin his fun, though.

 you raised an eyebrow. “are you sure you’re not just trying to babysit me?” you asked anyway.

 “sounds like you’re pussying out.”

 “ugh, shut up,” you retorted. “fine. order the fucking shots.”

 jungkook obliged without hesitation, turning around and managing to actually call the bartender over in seconds this time. you figured the night had just begun and it was too early to write it off, especially when he was still willing to make the best out of it for you. besides, if there was one person who you felt safe enough to have a drink-off with it, was jungkook.

 two shots turned into four, all drained with precision and speed. in between each shot, the two of you people watched and giggled about your observations. from here, the drinks continued flowing.

 “ew, that guy has to be, like, fifty and hitting on that poor girl. should we help her?” you gasped, now leaning slightly into jungkook as you handed him his nth drink.

 if possible, the music heightened even louder in your ears. the lights were now flashing a brilliant blue and purple, yet the two of you could see each other clear as day. the bar grew more crowded since your arrival, but jungkook ensured that you were tucked into a corner where people wouldn’t bump into you - in fact, he was mostly shielding you from the moving bodies. 

 jungkook shook his head. “nah, she’s into it. he looks rich, don’t get in her way.”

 upon closer look, you saw the girl’s subtle body language and the way her eyes smoldered - jungkook was definitely right. you laughed, as you took the shot glass from jungkook.

 “damn, you’re right. go her, honestly,” you responded and clinked glasses with jungkook again. “cheers - ohmygod.”

 he paused and looked at you quizzically, head cocked ever so slightly. you squealed and then stopped promptly when you realized that neither doyeon and yeri were here. 

 “what?”

 “it’s my favourite song,” you explained, shoulders now drooping. normally, the three of you, if you weren’t already on it, would practically sprint to the dancefloor. 

 jungkook chuckled. “your favourite song is a pitbull song?”

 “my favourite club song,” you corrected with a pout.

 he considered this for a moment, looking over at the crowd jumping excitedly to the beat. then, jungkook knocked his shot back and slammed it back onto the bar counter.

 “what are you waiting for?” he remarked. “drink your shit and let’s go!”

 you thought he was joking for a moment, but he then gently tugged your wrist. jungkook wanted to dance. in your drunken state, it sounded like the best idea in the world. even seokmin and jaehyun had long abandoned the bar for the dancefloor. you guys were in a club, the whole point of you going out was to get wasted and lose yourself in the music. 

 with a laugh, you took your shot and discarded your glass. everything felt so warm in that moment - the alcohol, the dancefloor, the feeling of jungkook’s hand on your wrist.

 it seemed like the club wasn’t as spacious as you originally thought. jungkook ended up leading you to the middle of the floor, where nearly everyone was shoulder to shoulder. 

 the two of you started off jumping around and you giggled the entire time, until you realized that, because of the crowd, your bodies were getting closer and closer. there was no room to leave space between you, especially since you were both drunk and barely had any awareness of, well, anything.

 “ow - sorry!” you squeaked when someone jabbed at your back by accident, causing to you lurch forward and grab onto jungkook’s broad shoulders for balance.

 his eyes widened, but he grabbed onto you and put his hands above yours. “don’t worry, i got you!” he shook his head, screaming over the music.

 your hands slid down to his chest, feeling the softness of the plain black t-shirt that he wore. the song was another upbeat pop song, but the rhythm no longer boomed happily in your chest. everything slowed down and your heart closed up on itself, clawing to maintain steadiness. meanwhile, the dancing continued - albeit, you were hyperaware of how close the two of you were and how jungkook didn’t move away.

 the lights were now red and the only thing more intense was your proximity. you swayed back and forth from the alcohol and jungkook’s hands flew to your hips.

 “whoa, easy there,” he said, laughing. he was just as gone as you were.

 you managed to flip him off and still not move away, the hand returning to his chest. 

 somehow, the two of you drew closer and closer to one another. like magnets and without even thinking about it. by the next song, your arms were flung around jungkook’s shoulders and you danced flush against him. 

 there was a surge of fortitude and boldness in your blood that would not have existed in a sober state, but you were too dazed by the intensifying grip on your hips. the more the gap between you shrunk, the firmer jungkook’s hand became.

 then, before you knew it, your faces were inches away.

 “hey,” jungkook said, voice low and the same alluring smile on his face.

 if you weren’t drunk, you could probably count the number of eyelashes on his face. you grinned back, enchanted by how good it felt to be so close to him. there was electricity buzzing about, in your ears and in the air. yet, the rest of the room faded until only he existed.

 you giggled. “hi there.”

 neither of you moved. not when the song changed and those around you changed the rhythm of their dance moves. not when you realized that you were actually completely frozen. a greater force grazed around the two of you, a bewitching ardor that you don’t think you’ve ever felt with another person. you’d been with men before, but nothing captured you like this. 

 you’re not sure who made the move. jungkook’s lips were warm and soft, kissing you like he meant it. your hands were tangled in his hair, groaning when his teeth grazed your bottom lip. if it was even possible for the two of you to press against each other any closer, you did. 

 “fuck, y/n -” jungkook moaned into your mouth, deepening the kiss and the words punctuated sharply, like he was using all his strength to not lose it with you in his arms. 

 you gasped and melted even further into the kiss, your hands moving from his hair to his biceps. you held on and his arms wrapped around your waist. if you could savour the taste of rum and strawberry lip balm forever, packaging it up and tying it with a ribbon, it would be because of this kiss and how it made you feel. his lips messily dancing with yours was like floating and everything was on fire, from his tongue to his fingers pressing into your ass.

 you’re not sure who made the move, but you did say the final words.

 bet you won’t do it, you had taunted, just a moment ago when your lips were inches away from jungkook’s. 

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