#exploding chris pratt with my mind

[lovaboy]

“it’s been my lifelong dream to play mario” says the idiot loser who can’t even attempt a character voice

[battiegutz]

omw to see tha mario movie pray fr me🙏🙏

[rosequart]

this is just an observation and i've never owned a mario game but i do think princess peach could be read as racially ambiguous in the way that anime characters can be (like, we all know blonde and blue-eyed anime characters do not have to be white) so it is kind of funny they made her into a true White Woman in the mario movie

and it doesn't matter because she definitely reads as white to most people and i'm sure she lives in a european castle and lives in fantasy europe or whatever but when i look at her game design i could easily read her as japanese. anyways this isn't saying anything and it's not A Problem i'm just thinking out loud. exploding chris pratt with my mind though.

[grigori77]

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 2)

20.  ONWARD – Disney and Pixar’s best digitally animated family feature of 2020 (beating the admittedly impressive Soul to the punch) clearly has a love of fantasy roleplay games like Dungeons & Dragons, its quirky modern-day AU take populated by fantastical races and creatures seemingly tailor-made for the geek crowd … needless to say, me and many of my friends absolutely loved it.  That doesn’t mean that the classic Disney ideals of love, family and believing in yourself have been side-lined in favour of fan-service – this is as heartfelt, affecting and tearful as their previous standouts, albeit with plenty of literal magic added to the metaphorical kind.  The central premise is a clever one – once upon a time, magic was commonplace, but over the years technology came along to make life easier, so that in the present day the various races (elves, centaurs, fauns, pixies, goblins and trolls among others) get along fine without it. Then timid elf Ian Lightfoot (Tom Holland) receives a wizard’s staff for his sixteenth birthday, a bequeathed gift from his father, who died before he was born, with instructions for a spell that could bring him back to life for one whole day.  Encouraged by his brash, over-confident wannabe adventurer elder brother Barley (Chris Pratt), Ian tries it out, only for the spell to backfire, leaving them with the animated bottom half of their father and just 24 hours to find a means to restore the rest of him before time runs out.  Cue an “epic quest” … needless to say, this is another top-notch offering from the original masters of the craft, a fun, affecting and thoroughly infectious family-friendly romp with a winning sense of humour and inspired, flawless world-building.  Holland and Pratt are both fantastic, their instantly believable, ill-at-ease little/big brother chemistry effortlessly driving the story through its ingenious paces, and the ensuing emotional fireworks are hilarious and heart-breaking in equal measure, while there’s typically excellent support from Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine from Seinfeld) as Ian and Barley’s put-upon but supportive mum, Laurel, Octavia Spencer as once-mighty adventurer-turned-restaurateur “Corey” the Manticore and Mel Rodriguez (Getting On, The Last Man On Earth) as overbearing centaur cop (and Laurel’s new boyfriend) Colt Bronco.  The film marks the sophomore feature gig for Dan Scanlon, who debuted with 2013’s sequel Monsters University, and while that was enjoyable enough I ultimately found it non-essential – no such verdict can be levelled against THIS film, the writer-director delivering magnificently in all categories, while the animation team have outdone themselves in every scene, from the exquisite environments and character/creature designs to some fantastic (and frequently delightfully bonkers) set-pieces, while there’s a veritable riot of brilliant RPG in-jokes to delight geekier viewers (gelatinous cube! XD).  Massive, unadulterated fun, frequently hilarious and absolutely BURSTING with Disney’s trademark heart, this was ALMOST my animated feature of the year.  More on that later …

19.  THE GENTLEMEN – Guy Ritchie’s been having a rough time with his last few movies (The Man From UNCLE didn’t do too bad but it wasn’t exactly a hit and was largely overlooked or simply ignored, while intended franchise-starter King Arthur: Legend of the Sword was largely derided and suffered badly on release, dying a quick death financially – it’s a shame on both counts, because I really liked them), so it’s nice to see him having some proper success with his latest, even if he has basically reverted to type to do it.  Still, when his newest London gangster flick is THIS GOOD it seems churlish to quibble – this really is what he does best, bringing together a collection of colourful geezers and shaking up their status quo, then standing back and letting us enjoy the bloody, expletive-riddled results. This particularly motley crew is another winning selection, led by Matthew McConaughey as ruthlessly successful cannabis baron Mickey Pearson, who’s looking to retire from the game by selling off his massive and highly lucrative enterprise for a most tidy sum (some $400,000,000 to be precise) to up-and-coming fellow American ex-pat Matthew Berger (Succession’s Jeremy Strong, oozing sleazy charm), only for local Chinese triad Dry Eye (Crazy Rich Asians’ Henry Golding, chewing the scenery with enthusiasm) to start throwing spanners into the works with the intention of nabbing the deal for himself for a significant discount.  Needless to say Mickey’s not about to let that happen … McConaughey is ON FIRE here, the best he’s been since Dallas Buyers Club in my opinion, clearly having great fun sinking his teeth into this rich character and Ritchie’s typically sparkling, razor-witted dialogue, and he’s ably supported by a quality ensemble cast, particularly co-star Charlie Hunnam as Mickey’s ice-cold, steel-nerved right-hand-man Raymond Smith, Downton Abbey’s Michelle Dockery as his classy, strong-willed wife Rosalind, Colin Farrell as a wise-cracking, quietly exasperated MMA trainer and small-time hood simply known as the Coach (who gets many of the film’s best lines), and, most notably, Hugh Grant as the film’s nominal narrator, thoroughly morally bankrupt private investigator Fletcher, who consistently steals the film.  This is Guy Ritchie at his very best – a twisty rug-puller of a plot that constantly leaves you guessing, brilliantly observed and richly drawn characters you can’t help loving in spite of the fact there’s not a single hero among them, a deliciously unapologetic, politically incorrect sense of humour and a killer soundtrack.  Getting the cinematic year off to a phenomenal start, it’s EASILY Ritchie’s best film since Sherlock Holmes, and a strong call-back to the heady days of Snatch (STILL my favourite) and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.  Here’s hoping he’s on a roll again, eh?

18.  SPONTANEOUS – one of the year’s biggest under-the-radar surprise hits for me was one which I actually might not have caught if things had been a little more normal and ordered.  Thankfully with all the lockdown and cinematic shutdown bollocks going on, this fantastically subversive and deeply satirical indie teen comedy horror came along at the perfect time, and I completely flipped out over it.  Now those who know me know I don’t tend to gravitate towards teen cinema, but like all those other exceptions I’ve loved over the years, this one had a brilliantly compulsive hook I just couldn’t turn down – small-town high-schooler Mara (Knives Out and Netflix’ Cursed’s Katherine Langford) is your typical cool outsider kid, smart, snarky and just putting up with the scene until she can graduate and get as far away as possible … until one day in her senior year one of her classmates just inexplicably explodes. Like her peers, she’s shocked and she mourns, then starts to move on … until it happens again.  As the death toll among the senior class begins to mount, it becomes clear something weird is going on, but Mara has other things on her mind because the crisis has, for her, had an unexpected benefit – without it she wouldn’t have fallen in love with like-minded oddball new kid Dylan (Lean On Pete and Words On Bathroom Walls’ Charlie Plummer). The future’s looking bright, but only if they can both live to see it … this is a wickedly intelligent film, powered by a skilfully executed script and a wonderfully likeable young cast who consistently steer their characters around the potential cliched pitfalls of this kind of cinema, while debuting writer-director Brian Duffield (already a rising star thanks to scripts for Underwater, The Babysitter and blacklist darling Jane Got a Gun among others) show he’s got as much talent and flair for crafting truly inspired cinema as he has for thinking it up in the first place, delivering some impressively offbeat set-pieces and several neat twists you frequently don’t see coming ahead of time.  Langford and Plummer as a sassy, spicy pair who are easy to root for without ever getting cloying or sweet, while there’s glowing support from the likes of Hayley Law (Rioverdale, Altered Carbon, The New Romantic) as Mara’s best friend Tess, Piper Perabo and Transparent’s Rob Huebel as her increasingly concerned parents, and Insecure’s Yvonne Orji as Agent Rosetti, the beleaguered government employee sent to spearhead the investigation into exactly what’s happening to these kids.  Quirky, offbeat and endlessly inventive, this is one of those interesting instances where I’m glad they pushed the horror elements into the background so we could concentrate on the comedy, but more importantly these wonderfully well-realised and vital characters – there are some skilfully executed shocks, but far more deep belly laughs, and there’s bucketloads of heart to eclipse the gore.  Another winning debut from a talent I intend to watch with great interest in the future.

17.  HAMILTON – arriving just as Black Lives Matter reached fever-pitch levels, this feature presentation of the runaway Broadway musical smash-hit could not have been better timed. Shot over three nights during the show’s 2016 run with the original cast and cut together with specially created “setup shots”, it’s an immersive experience that at once puts you right in amongst the audience (at times almost a character themselves, never seen but DEFINITELY heard) but also lets you experience the action up close.  And what action – it’s an incredible show, a thoroughly fascinating piece of work that reads like something very staid and proper on paper (an all-encompassing biographical account of the life and times of American Founding Father Alexander Hamilton) but, in execution, becomes something very different and EXTREMELY vital.  The execution certainly couldn’t be further from the usual period biopic fare this kind of historical subject matter usually gets (although in the face of recent high quality revisionist takes like Marie Antoinette, The Great and Tesla it’s not SO surprising), while the cast is not at all what you’d expect – with very few notable exceptions the cast is almost entirely people of colour, despite the fact that the real life individuals they’re playing were all very white indeed.  Every single one of them is also an absolute revelation – the show’s writer-composer Lin-Manuel Miranda (already riding high on the success of In the Heights) carries the central role of Hamilton with effortless charm and raw star power, Leslie Odom Jr. (Smash, Murder On the Orient Express) is duplicitously complex as his constant nemesis Aaron Burr, Christopher Jackson (In the Heights, Moana, Bull) oozes integrity and nobility as his mentor and friend George Washington, Phillipa Soo is sweet and classy as his wife Eliza while Renée Elise Goldsberry (The Immortal Life of Henrietta Jacks, Altered Carbon) is fiery and statuesque as her sister Angelica Schuyler (the one who got away), and Jonathan Groff (Mindhunter) consistently steals every scene he’s in as fiendish yet childish fan favourite King George III, but the show (and the film) ultimately belongs to veritable powerhouse Daveed Diggs (Blindspotting, The Good Lord Bird) in a spectacular duel role, starting subtly but gaining scene-stealing momentum as French Revolutionary Gilbert du Motier, the Marquis de Lafayette, before EXPLODING onto the stage in the second half as indomitable third American President Thomas Jefferson.  Not having seen the stage show, I was taken completely by surprise by this, revelling in its revisionist genius and offbeat, quirky hip-hop charm, spellbound by the skilful ease with which is takes the sometimes quite dull historical fact and skews it into something consistently entertaining and absorbing, transported by the catchy earworm musical numbers and thoroughly tickled by the delightfully cheeky sense of humour strung throughout (at least when I wasn’t having my heart broken by moments of raw dramatic power). Altogether it’s a pretty unique cinematic experience I wish I could have actually gotten to see on the big screen, and one I’ve consistently recommended to all my friends, even the ones who don’t usually like musicals.  As far as I’m concerned it doesn’t need a proper Les Misérables style screen adaptation – this is about as perfect a presentation as the show could possibly hope for.

16.  SPUTNIK – summer’s horror highlight (despite SERIOUSLY tough competition) was a guaranteed sleeper hit that I almost missed entirely, stumbling across the trailer one day on YouTube and getting bowled over by its potential, prompting me to hunt it down by any means necessary.  The feature debut of Russian director Egor Abramenko, this first contact sci-fi chiller is about as far from E.T. as it’s possible to get, sharing some of the same DNA as Carpenter’s The Thing but proudly carving its own path with consummate skill and definitely signalling great things to come from its brand new helmer and relative unknown screenwriters Oleg Malovichko and Andrei Zolotarev.  Oksana Akinshina (probably best known in the West for her powerful climactic cameo in The Bourne Supremacy) is the beating heart of the film as neurophysiologist Tatyana Yuryevna Klimova, brought in to aid in the investigation in the Russian wilderness circa 1983 after an orbital research mission goes horribly wrong.  One of the cosmonauts dies horribly, while the other, Konstantin (The Duelist’s Pyotr Fyodorov) seems unharmed, but it quickly becomes clear that he’s now the host for something decidedly extraterrestrial and potentially terrifying, and as Tatyana becomes more deeply embroiled in her assignment she comes to realise that her superiors, particularly mysterious Red Army project leader Colonel Semiradov (The PyraMMMid’s Fyodor Bondarchuk), have far more insidious plans for Konstantin and his new “friend” than she could ever imagine. This is about as dark, intense and nightmarish as this particular sub-genre gets, a magnificently icky body horror that slowly builds its tension as we’re gradually exposed to the various truths and the awful gravity of the situation slowly reveals itself, punctuated by skilfully executed shocks and some particularly horrifying moments when the evils inflicted by the humans in charge prove far worse than anything the alien can do, while the ridiculously talented writers have a field day pulling the rug out from under us again and again, never going for the obvious twist and keeping us guessing right to the devastating ending, while the beautifully crafted digital creature effects are nothing short of astonishing and thoroughly creepy.  Akinshina dominates the film with her unbridled grace, vulnerability and integrity, the relationship that develops between Tatyana and Konstantin (Fyodorov delivering a beautifully understated turn belying deep inner turmoil) feeling realistically earned as it goes from tentatively wary to tragically bittersweet, while Bondarchuk invests the Colonel with a nuanced air of tarnished authority and restrained brutality that made him one of my top screen villains for the year.  One of 2020’s great sleeper hits, I can’t speak of this film highly enough – it’s a genuine revelation, an instant classic for whom I’ll sing its praises for years to come, and I wish enormous future success to all the creative talents involved.

15.  THE INVISIBLE MAN – looks like third time’s a charm for Leigh Whannell, writer-director of my ALMOST horror movie of the year (more on that later) – while he’s had immense success as a horror writer over the years (co-creator of both the Saw and Insidious franchises), as a director his first two features haven’t exactly set the world alight, with debut Insidious: Chapter III garnering similar takes to the rest of the series but ultimately turning out to be a bit of a damp squib quality-wise, while his second feature Upgrade was a stone-cold masterpiece that was (rightly) EXTREMELY well received critically, but ultimately snuck in under the radar and has remained a stubbornly hidden gem since. No such problems with his third feature, though – his latest collaboration with producer Jason Blum and the insanely lucrative Blumhouse Pictures has proven a massive hit both financially AND with reviewers, and deservedly so.  Having given up on trying to create a shared cinematic universe inhabited by their classic monsters, Universal resolved to concentrate on standalones to showcase their elite properties, and their first try is a rousing success, Whannell bringing HG Wells’ dark and devious human monster smack into the 21st Century as only he can.  The result is a surprisingly subtle piece of work, much more a lethally precise exercise in cinematic sleight of hand and extraordinary acting than flashy visual effects, strictly adhering to the Blumhouse credo of maximum returns for minimum bucks as the story is stripped down to its bare essentials and allowed to play out without any unnecessary weight.  The Handmaid’s Tale’s Elizabeth Moss once again confirms what a masterful actress she is as she brings all her performing weapons to bear in the role of Cecelia “Cee” Kass, the cloistered wife of affluent but monstrously abusive optics pioneer Aidan Griffin (Netflix’ The Haunting of Hill House’s Oliver Jackson-Cohen), who escapes his clutches in the furiously tense opening sequence and goes to ground with the help of her closest childhood friend, San Francisco cop James Lanier (Leverage’s Aldis Hodge) and his teenage daughter Sydney (A Wrinkle in Time’s Storm Reid).  Two weeks later, Aidan commits suicide, leaving Cee with a fortune to start her life over (with the proviso that she’s never ruled mentally incompetent), but as she tries to find her way in the world again little things start going wrong for her, and she begins to question if there might be something insidious going on.  As her nerves start to unravel, she begins to suspect that Aidan is still alive, still very much in her life, fiendishly toying with her and her friends, but no-one can see him.  Whannell plays her paranoia up for all it’s worth, skilfully teasing out the scares so that, just like her friends, we begin to wonder if it might all be in her head after all, before a spectacular mid-movie reveal throws the switch into high gear and the true threat becomes clear.  The lion’s share of the film’s immense success must of course go to Moss – her performance is BEYOND a revelation, a blistering career best that totally powers the whole enterprise, and it goes without saying that she’s the best thing in this.  Even so, she has sterling support from Hodge and Reid, as well as Love Child’s Harriet Dyer as Cee’s estranged big sister Emily and Wonderland’s Michael Dorman as Adrian’s slimy, spineless lawyer brother Tom, and, while he doesn’t have much actual (ahem) “screen time”, Jackson-Cohen delivers a fantastically icy, subtly malevolent turn which casts a large “shadow” over the film.  This is one of my very favourite Blumhouse films, a pitch-perfect psychological chiller that keeps the tension cranked up unbearably tight and never lets go, Whannell once again displaying uncanny skill with expert jump-scares, knuckle-whitening chills and a truly astounding standout set-piece that easily goes down as one of the top action sequences of 2020. Undoubtedly the best version of Wells’ story to date, this goes a long way in repairing the damage of Universal’s abortive “Dark Universe” efforts, as well as showcasing a filmmaking master at the very height of his talents.

14.  EXTRACTION – the Coronavirus certainly has threw a massive spanner in the works of the year’s cinematic calendar – among many other casualties to the blockbuster shunt, the latest (and most long-awaited) MCU movie, Black Widow, should have opened to further record-breaking box office success at the end of spring, but instead the theatres were all closed and virtually all the heavyweights were pushed back or shelved indefinitely.  Thank God, then, for the streaming services, particularly Hulu, Amazon and Netflix, the latter of which provided a perfect movie for us to see through the key transition into the summer blockbuster season, an explosively flashy big budget action thriller ushered in by MCU alumni the Russo Brothers (who produced and co-wrote this adaptation of Ciudad, a graphic novel that Joe Russo co-created with Ande Parks and Fernando Leon Gonzalez) and barely able to contain the sheer star-power wattage of its lead, Thor himself.  Chris Hemsworth plays Tyler Rake, a former Australian SAS operative who hires out his services to an extraction operation under the command of mercenary Nik Khan (The Patience Stone’s Golshifteh Farahani), brought in to liberate Ovi Mahajan (Rudhraksh Jaiswal in his first major role), the pre-teen son of incarcerated Indian crime lord Ovi Sr. (Pankaj Tripathi), who has been abducted by Bangladeshi rival Amir Asif (Priyanshu Painyuli).  The rescue itself goes perfectly, but when the time comes for the hand-off the team is double-crossed and Tyler is left stranded in the middle of Dhaka with no choice but to keep Ovi alive as every corrupt cop and street gang in the city closes in around them.  This is the feature debut of Sam Hargrave, the latest stuntman to try his hand at directing, so he certainly knows his way around an action set-piece, and the result is a thoroughly breathless adrenaline rush of a film, bursting at the seams with spectacular fights, gun battles and car chases, dominated by a stunning sustained sequence that plays out in one long shot, guaranteed to leave jaws lying on the floor.  Not that there should be any surprise – Hargrave cut his teeth as a stunt coordinator for the Russos on Captain America: Civil War and their Avengers films.  That said, he displays strong talent for the quieter disciplines of filmmaking too, delivering quality character development and drawing out consistently noteworthy performances from his cast.  Of course, Hemsworth can do the action stuff in his sleep, but there’s a lot more to Tyler than just his muscle, the MCU veteran investing him with real wounded vulnerability and a tragic fatalism which colours every scene, while Jaiswal is exceptional throughout, showing plenty of promise for the future, and there’s strong support from Farahani and Painyuli, as well as Stranger Things’ David Harbour as world-weary retired merc Gaspard, and a particularly impressive, muscular turn from Randeep Hooda (Once Upon a Time in Mumbai) as Saju, a former Para and Ovi’s bodyguard, who’s determined to take possession of the boy himself, even if he has to go through Tyler to get him.  This is action cinema that really deserves to be seen on the big screen – I watched it twice in a week and would happily have paid for two trips to the cinema for it if I could have.  As we looked down the barrel of a summer season largely devoid of blockbuster fare, I couldn’t recommend this enough.  Thank the gods for Netflix …

13.  THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 – although it’s definitely a film that really benefitted enormously from releasing on Netflix during the various lockdowns, this was one of the blessed few I actually got to see during one of the UK’s frustratingly rare lulls when cinemas were actually OPEN.  Rather perversely it therefore became one of my favourite cinematic experiences of 2020, but then I’m just as much a fan of well-made cerebral films as I am of the big, immersive blockbuster EXPERIENCES, so this probably still would have been a standout in a normal year. Certainly if this was a purely CRITICAL list for the year this probably would have placed high in the Top Ten … Aaron Sorkin is a writer whose work I have ardently admired ever since he went from esteemed playwright to in-demand talent for both the big screen AND the small with A Few Good Men, and TTOTC7 is just another in a long line of consistently impressive, flawlessly written works rife with addictive quickfire dialogue, beautifully observed characters and rewardingly propulsive narrative storytelling (therefore resting comfortably amongst the well-respected likes of The West Wing, Charlie Wilson’s War, Moneyball and The Social Network).  It also marks his second feature as a director (after fascinating and incendiary debut Molly’s Game), and once again he’s gone for true story over fiction, tackling the still controversial subject of the infamous 1968 trial of the “ringleaders” of the infamous riots which marred Chicago’s Diplomatic National Convention five months earlier, in which thousands of hippies and college students protesting the Vietnam War clashed with police.  Spurred on by the newly-instated Presidential Administration of Richard Nixon to make some examples, hungry up-and-coming prosecutor Richard Schultz (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is confident in his case, while the Seven – who include respected and astute student activist Tom Hayden (Eddie Redmayne) and confrontational counterculture firebrands Abbie Hoffman (Sacha Baron Cohen) and Jerry Rubin (Succession’s Jeremy Strong) – are the clear underdogs.  They’re a divided bunch (particularly Hayden and Hoffman, who never mince their words about what little regard they hold for each other), and they’re up against the combined might of the U.S. Government, while all they have on their side is pro-bono lawyer and civil rights activist William Kunstler (Mark Rylance), who’s sharp, driven and thoroughly committed to the cause but clearly massively outmatched … not to mention the fact that the judge presiding over the case is Julius Hoffman (Frank Langella), a fierce and uncompromising conservative who’s clearly 100% on the Administration’s side, and who might in fact be stark raving mad (he also frequently goes to great lengths to make it clear to all concerned that he is NOT related to Abbie).  Much as we’ve come to expect from Sorkin, this is cinema of grand ideals and strong characters, not big spectacle and hard action, and all the better for it – he’s proved time and again that he’s one of the very best creative minds in Hollywood when it comes to intelligent, thought-provoking and engrossing thinking-man’s entertainment, and this is pure par for the course, keeping us glued to the screen from the skilfully-executed whirlwind introductory montage to the powerfully cathartic climax, and every varied and brilliant scene in-between.  This is heady stuff, focusing on what’s still an extremely thorny issue made all the more urgently relevant and timely given what was (and still is) going on in American politics at the time, and everyone involved here was clearly fully committed to making the film as palpable, powerful and resonant as possible for the viewer, no matter their nationality or political inclination.  Also typical for a Sorkin film, the cast are exceptional, everyone clearly having the wildest time getting their teeth into their finely-drawn characters and that magnificent dialogue – Redmayne and Baron Cohen are compellingly complimentary intellectual antagonists given their radically different approaches and their roles’ polar opposite energies, while Rylance delivers another pitch-perfect, simply ASTOUNDING performance that once again marks him as one of the very best actors of his generation, and there are particularly meaty turns from Strong, Langella, Aquaman’s Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (as besieged Black Panther Bobby Seale) and a potent late appearance from Michael Keaton that sear themselves into the memory long after viewing. Altogether then, this is a phenomenal film which deserves to be seen no matter the format, a thought-provoking and undeniably IMPORTANT masterwork from a master cinematic storyteller that says as much about the world we live in now as the decidedly turbulent times it portrays …

12.  GREYHOUND – when the cinemas closed back in March, the fate of many of the major summer blockbusters we’d been looking forward to was thrown into terrible doubt. Some were pushed back to more amenable dates in the autumn or winter (which even then ultimately proved frustratingly ambitious), others knocked back a whole year to fill summer slots for 2021, but more than a few simply dropped off the radar entirely with the terrible words “postponed until further notice” stamped on them, and I lamented them all, this one in particular.  It hung in there longer than some, stubbornly holding onto its June release slot for as long as possible, but eventually it gave up the ghost too … but thanks to Apple TV+, not for long, ultimately releasing less than a month later than intended.  Thankfully the film itself was worth the fuss, a taut World War II suspense thriller that’s all killer, no filler – set during the infamous Battle of the Atlantic, it portrays the constant life-or-death struggle faced by the Allied warships assigned to escort the transport convoys as they crossed the ocean, defending their charges from German U-boats.  Adapted from C.S. Forester’s famous 1955 novel The Good Shepherd by Tom Hanks and directed by Aaron Schneider (Get Low), the narrative focuses on the crew of the escort leader, American destroyer USS Fletcher, codenamed “Greyhound”, and in particular its captain, Commander Ernest Krause (Hanks), a career sailor serving his first command.  As they cross “the Pit”, the most dangerous middle stretch of the journey where they spend days without air-cover, they find themselves shadowed by “the Wolf Pack”, a particularly cunning group of German submarines that begin to pick away at the convoy’s stragglers.  Faced with daunting odds, a dwindling supply of vital depth-charges and a ruthless, persistent enemy, Krause must make hard choices to bring his ships home safe … jumping into the thick of the action within the first ten minutes and maintaining its tension for the remainder of the trim 90-minute run, this is screen suspense par excellence, a sleek textbook example of how to craft a compelling big screen knuckle-whitener with zero fat and maximum reward, delivering a series of desperate naval scraps packed with hide-and-seek intensity, heart-in-mouth near-misses and fist-in-air cathartic payoffs by the bucket-load.  Hanks is subtly magnificent, the calm centre of the narrative storm as a supposed newcomer to this battle arena who could have been BORN for it, bringing to mind his similarly unflappable in Captain Phillips and certainly not suffering by comparison; by and large he’s the focus point, but other crew members make strong (if sometimes quite brief) impressions, particularly Stephen Graham as Krause’s reliably seasoned XO, Lt. Commander Charlie Cole, The Magnificent Seven’s Manuel Garcia-Rulfo and Just Mercy’s Rob Morgan, while Elisabeth Shue does a lot with a very small part in brief flashbacks as Krause’s fiancée Evelyn. Relentless, exhilarating and thoroughly unforgettable, this was one of the true action highlights of the summer, and one hell of a war flick.  I’m so glad it made the cut for the summer …

11.  PROJECT POWER – with Marvel and DC pushing their tent-pole titles back in the face of COVID, the usual superhero antics we’ve come to expect for the summer were pretty thin on the ground in 2020, leading us to find our geeky fan thrills elsewhere. Unfortunately, pickings were frustratingly slim – Korean comic book actioner Gundala was entertaining but workmanlike, while Thor AU Mortal was underwhelming despite strong direction from Troll Hunter’s André Øvredal, and The New Mutants just got shat on by the studio and its distributors and no mistake – thank the Gods, then, for Netflix, once again riding to the rescue with this enjoyably offbeat super-thriller, which takes an intriguing central premise and really runs with it.  New designer drug Power has hit the streets of New Orleans, able to give anyone who takes it a superpower for five minutes … the only problem is, until you try it, you don’t know what your own unique talent is – for some, it could mean five minutes of invisibility, or insane levels of super-strength, but other powers can be potentially lethal, the really unlucky buggers just blowing up on the spot.  Robin (The Hate U Give’s Dominique Fishback) is a teenage Power-pusher with dreams of becoming a rap star, dealing the pills so she can help her diabetic mum; Frank Shaver (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is one of her customers, a police detective who uses his power of near invulnerability to even the playing field when supercharged crims cause a disturbance.  Their lives are turned upside down when Art (Jamie Foxx) arrives in town – he’s a seriously badass ex-soldier determined to hunt down the source of Power by any means necessary, and he’s not above tearing the Big Easy apart to do it. This is a fun, gleefully infectious rollercoaster that doesn’t take itself too seriously, revelling in the anarchic potential of its premise and crafting some suitably OTT effects-driven chaos brought to pleasingly visceral fruition by its skilfully inventive director, Ariel Schulman (Catfish, Nerve, Viral), while Mattson Tomlin (the screenwriter of the DCEU’s oft-delayed, incendiary headline act The Batman) takes the story in some very interesting directions and poses fascinating questions about what Power’s TRULY capable of.  Gordon-Levitt and Fishback are both brilliant, the latter particularly impressing in what’s sure to be a major breakthrough role for her, and the friendship their characters share is pretty adorable, while Foxx really is a force to be reckoned with, pretty chill even when he’s in deep shit but fully capable of turning into a bona fide killing machine at the flip of a switch, and there’s strong support from Westworld’s Rodrigo Santoro as Biggie, Power’s delightfully oily kingpin, Courtney B. Vance as Frank’s by-the-book superior, Captain Crane, Amy Landecker as Gardner, the morally bankrupt CIA spook responsible for the drug’s production, and Machine Gun Kelly as Newt, a Power dealer whose pyrotechnic “gift” really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Exciting, inventive, frequently amusing and infectiously likeable, this was some of the most uncomplicated cinematic fun I had all summer.  Not bad for something which I’m sure was originally destined to become one of the season’s B-list features …

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: WONDER WOMAN 1984

You guys! Now that the holidaze are over, I finally got around to watching the #1 most hated movie of the holiday season: Wonder Woman 1984! People have so many opinions about this movie AND NOW I DO TOO! I even have some thoughts on the wigs! Let’s discuss.

We begin in Themyscira, land of Amazons, fishtail braidology, Robin Wright, NO EFFING MEN, and also this weird Amazon gladiator gauntlet that is mainly brought to you by lots of computers. Baby Gal Gadot (nee Wonder Woman) is allowed to compete in this CGI decathalon despite being 1/3 the size and age of the other competitors and almost wins the damn thing but Auntie Robin Wright disqualifies her for trying to cheat to win. About 4 hours later, toward the end of this movie, Wonder Woman also tries to “cheat” at something so this is kinda sorta foreshadowing if you believe that the writers of this screenplay even had that forethought! 

Moving ahead to 1984, this movie just gets SO 1984. Or really “1984″ in the Stranger Things sense, in that they even used the damn mall that that show takes place in and some dumb criminals steal some jewelry and Wonder Woman saves the day and also comically saves some kids who could have been hurt. I am still bitterly injured by Gal Gadot’s wig, which is not so bent and tangled as the first Wonder Woman movie. Still, the general texture and quality leave something to be desired AS DOES THIS WHOLE MOVIE BUT I AM GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF!! Anyway, other than foiling crimes at malls, Gal Gadot mainly lives a sad single life in DC where she pines away for Chris Pine in her fabulous apartment, surrounded by an astonishing amount of photographs of her late boyfriend, given the fact that the pictures she has of him are from the 1910s when not everyone had a damn photo printer. Absent of course, is the photograph of her and her ragtag WWI buddies which is delivered to her at the end of the first Wonder Woman movie in the present day and therefore hasn’t happened yet and here begins and ends all logic in this movie. 

Anyway! Gal Gadot works with Kristen Wiig, who does her fabulously awkward Kirsten Wiig thing as a nerdy scientist who is largely overlooked by all of society and who wears upsetting culottes and oversized sweatshirts and drinks Bartles and Jaymes (THIS MOVIE MISSES NO OPPORTUNITIES TO #80s). Her wig, as all wigs worn by Kristen Wiig in movies, is a horrible mess of bad texture and general bentness. Also, together she and Gal Gadot are sifting through the jewelry stolen by those thieves at the mall and there is one particular giant crystal or whatever that seems to possess magical properties. Yes, like the Infinity Stones that came (and then kept coming!)  AND YES I REALIZE THAT THAT IS MCU AND THIS IS DC BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER: EVERY GODDAMNED SUPERHERO MOVIE IS SOMEHOW ABOUT HAUNTED JEWELRY.

Enter Pedro Pascal in the most outrageous 80s wig in honestly the most outrageous 80s role. He essentially plays Donald Trump - a start-up conning people out of money who is also a terrible dad and has terrible hair. I really wondered for much of this movie if this wig was supposed to be a wig, because it looks as fake and wig-like as Trump’s hair, but no - I think this is supposed to be real hair! Truly truly truly outrageous. Anyway, dude basically doesn’t want to work hard to get rich (again, much like Trump!) and instead wants to just wish his way into success via this dream crystal that Gal Gadot and Kristen Wiig have.

OH AND THEY ALREADY WISHED ON THE CRYSTAL! Kristen Wiig wishes to be like Gal Gadot (not realizing that she’s actually wishing to be Wonder Woman) and gets the most outrageous makeover into this bleached blonde nightmare. AND EVERYONE IS JUST LIKE WOW YOU’RE NOT WEARING CULOTTES ANYMORE I GUESS THIS IS NORMAL FOR YOU TO SUDDENLY LOOK THIS WAY AND FOR YOUR HAIR TO INEXPLICABLY BE INCHES LONGER IN THE COURSE OF AN AFTERNOON. Also! Although this bleached blonde wig is maybe an upgrade from her mousy wig from before, that really means nothing as both wigs are garbage.

Gal Gadot’s wish, of course, was for her ain’ true love, Chris Pine, to come back. AND THEN HE DOES! SORTA! Despite being definitely exploded in a plane in 1918 (in the first movie - spoiler?), he just kinda walks into this fancy party like “hey what’s up?” OH EXCEPT FOR ONE SMALL THING.

HE LOOKS LIKE THIS DUDE TO EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT GAL GADOT. Ok? I guess because Chris Pine’s actual physical body was destroyed in 1918, he has to inhabit the body of this random man credited only as ‘Handsome Man’ in 1984 which really begs the question - what then happens to this handsome dude while Chris Pine shapeshifts into him and does anyone care? ALSO! Plot-wise, this is just the tip of the iceberg in crystal wishes - basically everyone on earth gets a wish before film’s end and all are fulfilled no matter how ludicrous - and yet no other wish seem to have these sort of strings attached EXCEPT FOR WONDER WOMAN! WHY DOES ONLY WONDER WOMAN GET THE PET SEMATARY OF WISHES?!?!?!

Anyway! Lucky for us all, ‘Handsome Man’ has the most 80s closet ever! As we all know, movies set in the 80s are contractually obligated to provide us with a very 80s fashion montage and this one is ALL ABOUT CHRIS PINE. Somehow, ‘Handsome Man’ owns like 10 different fanny packs?!?! Every single 80s menswear disaster is covered here at least three times you guys.

About 3 hours later, he settles on this outfit! Mazel!  I’d like to pause this review to now give my definitive breakdown of CHRIS rankings (limited only to the 4 young-ish, blonde-ish Chris actors who appear in superhero movies) so that I might now abbreviate Chris Pine to #2 Chris WHICH HE IS. Ahem:

- BEST CHRIS is obviously CHRIS EVANS. This is because he gets into Twitter wars with racists, he offered his arm of support to Regina King when she stumbled getting her Oscar, and he wears the shit out of a sweater. There are many other reasons also but no other Chris can compare - HE IS BEST CHRIS.

- WORST CHRIS is obviously CHRIS PRATT. This is because he is super Jesusy evangelical and also anti-LGBTQ and married a Schwarzenegger (tho Arnold wishes he was Evans too!). There are many other reasons why but those are the most important reasons. WORST CHRIS.

- #2 CHRIS is a constant battle between CHRIS HEMSWORTH AND CHRIS PINE. Hemsworth is very funny in the lady Ghostbusters, was once on Dancing With The Stars in Australia, and can really commit to a fatsuit. Pine is great at singing on a Wet Hot American Summer roof OR a river, loves caftans, and is loved by the one and only Wonder Woman. It’s an infinity tie between these two and therefore #2 Chris is in the eye of the beholder during whatever you are beholding, and currently we’re beholding Pine. #2 CHRIS! 

Yes, this lengthy roundup was definitely worth it so that I can abbreviate Chris Pine to #2 Chris now. Moving on!

So Gal Gadot and #2 Chris walk through a very 80s DC while #2 Chris’s mind gets blown by all the stuff that is different in the 70s years he’s been dead. No 80s movie would be complete without of course covering PUNKS!!! This is where this movie definitely lost my husband because one of these punks is wearing a Cro-Mags shirt from an album THAT CAME OUT IN 1986. This offends me, also, not because I care about that band but because this is lazy costuming! Apparently, my husband was not the only one to notice this and become deeply offended - and Cro-Mags cofounder even chimed in to say that this is all ok because they released a demo for the ‘86 album in 1984 (AND WE ALL KNOW EVERYONE DEFINITELY MAKES SHIRTS BASED ON DEMO ALBUMS?) I still find this lazy and stupid costuming and remain annoyed! ANYWAY!

Back to the “plot”...Kristen Wiig and Pedro Pascal’s confederacy of bad wigs kinda sorta hook up at this dumb party so that Pedro Pascal can steal that very important wishing crystal! AND THEN HE WISHES ON THE CRYSTAL THAT HE CAN BE THE CRYSTAL. Haunted jewelry plots have never been so dumb as this you guys! AND ALL OF THE INFINITY STONES MOVIES WERE INFINITELY STUPID SO THIS IS REALLY SAYING SOMETHING.

So basically, after 70 years apart, Gal Gadot and #2 Chris have no more time to waste on fanny pack fashion shows or questionable metro punks and have to follow Pedro Pascal to Egypt, where he has gone to demand some oil from Egypt now that he is the physical manifestation of a wishing crystal. In order to get to Egypt themselves, Gal and #2 Chris steal a plane from the Smithsonian (which apparently just has some jets laying around some random tarmac) and then Gal WISHES THE JET INTO BEING INVISIBLE! This is obviously to fuel Wonder Woman invisible jet nostalgia and also to waste about 45 minutes on shots of them invisibly flying through fireworks. BECAUSE IT’S THE 4TH OF JULY WAIT HOW DID THEY VISIT ANY MUSEUMS OR DO ANYTHING ON A NATIONAL HOLIDAY EARLIER THAT DAY OH RIGHT THERE IS NO LOGIC IN THIS MOVIE. Over in Egypt, the wishing crystal Pedro Pascal hisself somehow creates a water shortage and refugee crisis in Egypt and Gal has to Wonder Woman some kids to safety, but mainly she wears this amazing jumpsuit and is able to find a working payphone to call Kristen Wiig and ask if she has any intel on that damn wishing crystal.

Kristen Wiig is somehow EVEN MORE BLONDE AND WEARING THIS DAMN COAT. I mean...you guys. WHAT. Like any good 80s thriller, Kristen Wiig researched the wishing crystal on microfiche which leads her to a random record store where she meets up with Gal and #2 Chris who I guess flew the invisijet back to DC from Egypt in a few minutes or something. Anyway, rando dude at the record store takes out some musty old book that has all the wishing crystal information everyone needed and basically warns that it can destroy society AND ALSO it can take things away from the wisher like a damn monkey’s paw. SPEAKING OF MONKEYS THAT COAT THE END.

But Kristen Wiig’s makeover is far from over! She finally appears as Cheetah herself at the damn White House, where the wishing crystal Pedro Pascal is asking a fake Ronald Reagan (?) if he can please satellite everyone on the earth so he can grow stronger as a crystal person OR SOMETHING? Anyway, Kristen’s lewk is very “punk” but not in a Cro-Mag way, but more in a Meryl Streep in Ricki and the Flash way? It’s a battle of not great wigs, at any rate. Kristen doesn’t want anyone harming her wishing crystal Pedro since that’s what made her Cheetah so there is this huge dumb fight where Pedro and Kristen just kinda glide away (not unlike actual Trump and his idiots last week and omg did this movie foretell that) and then Gal realizes that she has to denounce her wish because the monkey paw’s clause of it all is making her not powerful enough to fight anymore. So #2 Chris is like: I should just be dead anyway and my whole existence is very Pet Sematary and everyone kind of cries in an alley and #2 Chris dies again (?) Also! I think this is supposed to have been foretold by that earlier scene with baby Gal Gadot trying to cheat at that decathalon or whatever because you can’t cheat....death??? Regardless, Gal jumps into the sky and somehow is ABLE TO FLY BASED ON AERODYNAMIC FACTS #2 CHRIS GAVE HER WHILE FLYING AN INVISIJET? SURE!

Over in another plane, Pedro and Kristen are on their way to some satellite island to broadcast to the world about crystal wishes and dude is not looking so great because wishing that you are a crystal is a terrible idea. This is the point at which I realized that this wig was supposed to be real hair because it looks so sweaty and shitty but has consistently looked like a shitty wig through this entire “plot.” Anyway! He asks Kristen Wiig if she wants another wish which....huh? Somehow Gal Gadot’s wish ended up a Pet Sematary nightmare of possessed handsome man bodies that she had to renounce but Kristen Wiig gets two wishes? SURE! AND KRISTEN WIIG WISHES THAT SHE BECOME THE “ULTIMATE PREDATOR” WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS MOVIE Y’ALL.

APPARENTLY THIS IS WHAT AN ULTIMATE PREDATOR LOOKS LIKE?!?!?! YOU GUYS. In order to literally become a Cheetah, they gave Kristen Wiig a CGI body and....kabuki makeup? This lewk absolutely looks like a mashup between two dueling community theater productions of Cats and Pacific Overtures and I can’t stop laughing. 

Meanwhile, Gal finally gets to rock this lewk which was earlier described as the battle armor of the goddess, Asteria, who was the one chick NOT invited to  Themyscira for Amazonian fishtail braidology times, and had to stay behind to FIGHT EVERY MAN ON EARTH but did get this sweet armor out of it?!?! Regardless, despite withstanding all men ever, Cheetah somehow effs up this armor in a matter of seconds, but Gal is still able to defeat her through underwater electrocution (which somehow avoids Gal herself even though SHE’S WEARING AN ENTIRE SUIT OF METAL). 

Anyway, in the end, the entire world is on the brink of collapse and eveyone is looking at old dumb 80s tv screens because of all the dumb wishes everyone made and I guess I appreciate the fact that this entire movie is about dumb 80s wish fulfillment but also there are so many plotholes that I can’t even, you guys. Gal somehow lassoes Pedro Pascal into remembering his shitty dad and realizes that he is now a shitty dad and everyone somehow renounces their wishes and Pedor Pascal just kind of WALKS OFF AN ISLAND INTO THE DEBRIS OF DC AND FINDS HIS CHILD BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD?!?!?!?! It’s really annoying that this movie somehow rewards this shitty dad but also doesn’t let a woman (specifically WONDER WOMAN) have both a love life and her own damn job and I’m not alone in being annoyed by that. ANYWAY, days or weeks after the entire world almost ended, there is somehow a cute Christmas carnival that was definitely a stolen set from Dolly Parton’s Christmas in the Square where Gal Gadot is reunited with ‘Handsome Man’ who has no knowledge of previously being possessed by #2 Chris and is still rocking ALL THIS 80s FASHION and then a star shaped balloon is released into the sky and I wonder if this entire movie has been a Macy’s ad. 

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! In a mid-credits scene which is also maybe the only watchable part of this movie, the goddess Asteria (and OG owner of that gold body armor) is revealed to be alive and well and played by OG Wonder Woman, LYNDA EFFING CARTER!! She is definitely an actual goddess who never ages and whose hair is way better than any wigs on display at any point in this movie and is also the only part of the movie you should watch. THE END.

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, July 13

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Black Lives Matter protests cause right-wing owned tabloid to freak out 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Paris Jackson sports a new neck tattoo and pierced nose, Chris Pratt used his foot on the crosswalk button with pregnant wife Katherine Schwarzenegger, Ali Larter 

Page 3: Norman Reedus and his motorcycle, Jeff Bridges during an online video appearance, Amber Rose running errands in Venice 

Page 4: Jeffrey Epstein’s madam Ghislaine Maxwell holed up in Paris -- Prince Andrew breathes easier as she nixes deal with feds, Hollywood hotshot Steve Bing who was a close pal of hanged pedophile Jeffrey Epstein jumped off the roof of his luxury L.A. apartment  

Page 6: Despite being at the age when most people are close to retirement aging pop divas Cher and Madonna are locked in a ferocious feud one that first exploded 35 years ago -- Cher thinks Madonna is vulgar and classless and all washed up while Madonna thinks Cher is past her prime and just jealous of someone who is younger and sexier and more talented

Page 7: Glen Campbell’s widow Kim Campbell says he had drug and alcohol addictions, Kurt Cobain’s famed guitar fetched a record-breaking $6 million at auction 

Page 8: In the latest twist in the battle over James Brown’s will his “widow” Tomi Rae Hynie has been cut out of his $100 million estate -- in a bombshell decision the South Carolina Supreme Court ruled Tomi Rae never ended an earlier marriage and was not legally wed to the Godfather of Soul but the nearly 14-year legal skirmish isn’t over yet with the couple’s son James Brown II forced to go to court to get his share of the estate 

Page 10: Jean Kennedy Smith took a shocking secret to her grave -- she approved of her brother Bobby Kennedy’s affair with Marilyn Monroe 

Page 11: Jennifer Aniston has rushed to aid troubled pal Matthew Perry who’s reportedly in a funk after splitting with his girlfriend following years of battling booze and drug and weight demons, Kid Rock’s Nashville watering hole has its beer permit briefly yanked for breaking a local coronavirus health rule

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Jay Leno at a gas station in Burbank (picture), Kristen Stewart chosen to play Princess Diana in Spencer but the casting isn’t a popular one, Lisa Rinna wears nothing but sunglasses to plug designer Christian Cowan’s shades, Lindsay Lohan’s troubled mom Dina Lohan is once again engaged to a online beau who’s she never met in person 

Page 13: Miles Teller waits for a mechanic to fix his car (picture), Abby Lee Miller is all smiles despite Lifetime dumping her show after she was accused of making racist remarks (picture), Claudia Wells of Back to the Future (picture), Gwyneth Paltrow is hyping another provocatively named aromatic candle this time called This Smells Like My Orgasm

Page 14: Michael Keaton is headlining a new eight-episode Hulu series called Dopesick based on the book of the same name, Marie Osmond doesn’t mind being riddled with a multitude of ugly surgical scars because they remind her of all she’s been through, Fashion Verdict -- Natasha Alam 7/10, Anna Chlumsky 5/10, Rachel Bilson 2/10, Donna D’Errico 4/10, Sunny Malouf 3/10 

Page 16: Bill Cosby can appeal his 2018 sexual assault conviction as the Pennsylvania Supreme Court has agreed to review two aspects of the case he is challenging, Miley Cyrus swears she’s been sober for more than 6 months, Little Rascals actor Brandon “Bug” Hall was arrested for allegedly huffing air duster cans at a Texas hotel 

Page 17: Battling exes Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have called off their ferocious feud and mended fences so they can share a fun family vacation together with their six kids 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Kelly Reilly

Page 20: True Crime 

Page 23: Supermodel Ashley Graham boasted a hole in her cover-girl smile after breaking the veneer off her front tooth on a cookie, jealous Gwen Stefani is returning to The Voice so she can keep tabs on boyfriend Blake Shelton and soon-to-be-single Kelly Clarkson 

Page 24: Cover Story --  Experts tell Globe that America is on the road to total anarchy and national security threatens to be shattered during Fourth of July celebrations 

Page 26: Health Report 

Page 30: Senior White House adviser Kellyanne Conway gets a new face -- sporting a startlingly smoother face and looked decades younger 

Page 32: Lovelorn Reba McEntire is finally ready to date again after her searing 2019 split with Anthony “Skeeter” Lasuzzo, Sopranos tough guy James Gandolfini once threatened to beat the f**k out of Harvey Weinstein because of the movie mogul’s bullying ways 

Page 36: Don’t Come Back! Stars banned for bad behavior -- Madonna was berry rude, Ariana Grande takes a licking, Lindsay Lohan’s Chateau no-no 

Page 37: Blake Lively Disney disaster, Kathy Griffin’s lips zipped, Hugh Grant mouthed off on The Daily Show, Alec Baldwin floored by unwelcome mat 

Page 40: Real Life 

Page 42: Scientologist actor Danny Masterson is a Hollywood pariah after being slapped with three felony charges of rape -- no one will hire him and his former BFF Ashton Kutcher is keeping his distance, Raven-Symone wed girlfriend Miranda Maday in a backyard ceremony 

Page 44: Straight Talk -- handing money to Mama June Shannon is dopey madness 

Page 45: Dale Earnhardt Jr. is raring to make a comeback in the NASCAR championship series but he’s sadly conceded the brain damage he’s suffered in the sport has likely ended his racing days forever 

Page 47: Hollywood Flashback -- Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay in Risky Business, Bizarre But True 

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Yours Truly [Part Seven]

Summary: Fourth of July is a family affair on the Pratt farm; something new sparks between Chris and Sadie. Pairing: Chris Pratt x OFC, Chris Evans x OFC Word Count: 1775 Warnings: Mentions of divorce and abandonment. A/N: This fic was previously posted on my multi-fandom account; in honor of OC Appreciation Day, I figured I would queue it all up for your reading pleasure throughout the day! This was a collab with @captain-s-rogers , and I will link her chapters at the end of all of my posts! Some GIFs were difficult to find again, so if there’s no credit, they’re from Google Image Search or from the original post. 

July 4

Caroline,

Happy Fourth of July! Honestly, I don’t know who’s more excited for fireworks, me or Layla!

I’m including the pictures from the birthday party with this letter. We had so much fun! Layla said it was her best birthday ever, and that’s all I need to know. Her friends seemed to enjoy it, too, and Chris and his parents were happy with everything, so that’s good, too.  

Chris’s parents are super nice, but they want to take Layla for the rest of the summer. Chris told them no, that he didn’t want to be away from Layla, and he doesn’t want Layla to be taken away from me. In light of some other things that were said, he’s going to talk with me later about what happened exactly between him and his ex-wife, while Kathleen and Daniel take Layla into town for a few things for the barbecue later on. They’re all at breakfast right now – I was invited to go, but I think some family time might be better for them.

We watched Chris’s rally last night, and I actually saw you! Looking powerful and professional as always. You’re rocking this job, C, I just know it. I’m hoping there are some more details in your next letters that come about what’s going on with you and your boss. (I’m a horrible influence, I know.)

There are more things I want to tell you, but I just can’t get them onto paper. Telling you always makes things real, and I want them to be real but they still seem so overwhelming to put on paper – maybe it’s time for a phone call? Miss you much, bestie!

Yours truly,

Sadie

After addressing, sealing, and stamping the envelope with the letter and pictures in it, Sadie left it in Kathleen’s trusted care to take into town and drop off for her. The post office would be closed, but the big blue box was always open.

Once Layla was gone with her grandparents, Sadie set to work in the kitchen preparing food for the mid-afternoon cook-out. Chris helped her by slicing up some vegetables for a tray while they talked.

“How was breakfast with your parents?” she asked.

“It was good, and much needed, like you said. Not that I’m happy admitting you were right,” he teased.

Sadie laughed lightly. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Hopefully you’re not upset, but I agreed to let Layla go up to Minnesota with them for a week when they head back. I’ll fly up the last couple of days to visit and bring Layla back with me.”

“Why would I be upset?” Sadie frowned. “She’s not my daughter, Chris, she’s yours. They’re her grandparents. Even if you had decided to send her up there for the rest of the summer, I would have been disappointed but not mad. It’s not my choice to make.”

“Thanks,” Chris said, piling a handful of celery sticks onto the tray. “I guess we could go ahead and talk about Emily.”

“Only if you want to.”

He let out a deep breath, deciding where to begin, exactly. “She left almost a year ago. Layla had just turned four, and I could tell Emily was getting restless. She wouldn’t talk to me about what was wrong, just grew more and more distant. Finally, one day, she told me she had met someone else and she was leaving. I told her,” he took another deep breath, “I told her that I wasn’t going to allow her to take Layla, to which Emily replied that she hadn’t planned on taking her.”

Sadie’s eyes grew wide. “I’m not saying that leaving you is any better, but how could she leave her own daughter behind? And willingly, at that.”

“Emily didn’t want kids when we started dating. By the time we were married, she had changed her mind without any convincing from me, and when she got pregnant with Layla, we were both ecstatic. It didn’t take long for her to remember why she didn’t want kids, I guess.”

Sadie’s eyes welled with tears; her heart broke all over again for both Chris and Layla. She tried to stop the tears, but it was to no avail.

“Hey, don’t cry, Adie,” Chris said, using Layla’s name for her as a means to cheer her up. He set down the knife and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side. “We turned out all right. We got you.”

“I know,” Sadie sniffled, “and I know it’s not about me. It just makes me so angry and so sad. You and Layla both deserve so much better.”

“You have a big heart,” Chris said, running his hand up and down her arm. “That’s what makes you so special to us.”

Sadie leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m not going to save you deviled eggs just because you’re flattering me, you know.”

Chris laughed and went back to the vegetables. “Hey, you can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Sadie laughed, too, and dried her tears. “Change of subject, but I might like to stick around while Layla’s gone, if that’s okay. Look for some jobs in the area.”

“Yeah, of course. You’re welcome to – hey, if you find one close to here, you’ll be around for harvest.”

“Come to think of it, what do you farm? I mean, I’ve been here for a month now, and I assumed it was wheat, but we’ve never actually talked about it.”

“Sunflowers,” Chris smiled, blushing a little.

Excitement beamed bright across Sadie’s features. “I love sunflowers!”

“Well, you’ll have to at least come around during harvest. I’ll make sure you get some good flowers.”

Their conversation flowed easily after that, with witty banter and flirty teasing. By the time Layla, Kathleen, and Daniel returned, it was as though they were old friends, comfortable and familiar.

The air smelled of bug spray and firecrackers by the time night fell. They were all full on hamburgers, hot dogs, and a variety of fruits and veggies – not to mention the desserts that Kathleen and Sadie had baked.

Layla had frosting smeared across her face, and her hands were sticky from a slice of watermelon. When they all set out lawn chairs to watch the fireworks the neighbors down the road were shooting off, she crawled onto her father’s lap and leaned her head against his chest. She was asleep before the fireworks even started.

“She had a long day,” Sadie commented.

Chris nodded, kissing the top of Layla’s head. “That she did, and I don’t think she was fully re-energized from her birthday.”

“I think you’re right.” She leaned her head back and sighed, watching Layla sleep. “I’m going to miss her next week. I haven’t been here that long, but it seems like it’s been forever.”

“Yeah, it does,” Chris said.

Sadie studied him for moment before turning back to the fireworks. There was a note of relief in his comment, and Sadie couldn’t help but feel encouraged for it. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who was feeling something more than what would normally be considered professional or even friendly when it came to the relationship with Chris.

She was in the midst of accepting that these feelings were actually happening when Chris confirmed that she was, in fact, not the only one feeling that way: he reached over and slipped his fingers through hers. Sadie tried not to smile too big, squeezing his hand a little in acknowledgement of the gesture.

The next morning, Sadie’s heart was still on a high from the night before. Holding hands with Chris while the fireworks exploded over them wasn’t something that she had expected to happen, especially within seconds of coming to terms with her own developing feelings.

She hummed all the way through making pancakes for breakfast, cleaning up the patio from the Fourth of July celebration, and doing the dishes that had been abandoned the night before. She smiled to herself through the laundry and through Layla’s counting lesson. By the time lunch rolled around, she was more than a little excited to see Chris come in from his outdoor work with Daniel that morning.

Chris, it seemed, was just as excited at the prospect of something new as Sadie felt. The two of them shared blushing glances and secret smiles all throughout lunch. They didn’t say much to each other, but he did wink at her on his way through the back slider when he returned to the fields.

After lunch, Kathleen laid down for a nap, and Sadie set about getting Layla packed for her trip.

“If I’m not leavin’ till tomorrow, why do I have to pack my clothes now?” Layla groaned, leaning on the edge of the mattress.

“First of all,” Sadie smiled, “I am packing your clothes, not you, little miss. Second of all, it’s good to be prepared.”

“It’s not ‘cause you want me to go away?”

Sadie zipped up Layla’s bag and sat on the bed, pulling Layla into her lap. “I never want you to go away, Layla, but I can’t keep you here all the time, either. That’s selfish.”

“You promise you’ll be here when I come back?”

“Of course! Me and Daddy are going to be so bored with you gone!”

Layla grew quiet and pensive, so Sadie set her back on the floor and double-checked around the room that she had packed everything.

“Are you taking your monkey or your goose to Grandma and Grandpa’s?”

“Goose,” Layla answered definitively. The pensive look returned to Layla’s countenance, but this time she verbalized her thoughts. “Sadie, are you gonna kiss Daddy?”

Sadie turned to Layla with her brow raised. “Kiss Daddy?”

Layla nodded, excited now that the subject was out in the open. “Yes! He was so sad when Mama left, but he’s happy now! And he says you’re a blessing, to both of us. And I know you was holding hands last night.”

“Oh, Layla …”

The little girl took Sadie’s hands. “It’s okay with me!”

“Oh, it is?” Sadie chuckled. “Can you keep a secret, sweetheart?”

Layla nodded. “Yes. Is it about Daddy?”

Sadie nodded, too, and crouched down in front of her. “And about you. I wasn’t sad before I came here, but I was kinda lonely. And I’m not, now that I’m here with you and Daddy.”

Layla flung her little body into Sadie’s hug. “That’s why you have to stay forever!”

Sadie hugged Layla tightly, not saying anything, but thinking, if only for that moment, she would be fine staying there forever with Chris and Layla.  

Part Eight

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Movie 43

I want you all to know I sat at my computer for many minutes trying desperately and ultimately failing to find some way to talk about anthology or sketch comedy films. I kept trying to come up with some comparisons to how well the horror genre handles these kinds of films (for the most part anyway). And I was totally going to come up with some brilliant, cutting lead in to talking about the black hole of talent known as Movie 43.

Sorry to disappoint you all. It’s a sentiment I share with just about every single actor in this film.

Movie 43 is a sketch comedy film, though honestly the “comedy” part should be in quotations because it takes a mind heavily impaired by illicit substances to find humor in this film. And look, I’m no comedic prude; I get a laugh out of stuff like Freddy Got Fingered, I’m not so snooty I’m above Scary Movie or getting a chuckle out of Step Brothers, I’m not only in to high concept British comedies or anything. But this, this really is bad on a level that even The ABCs of Death wasn’t, because as disgusting, vomit-inducingly bad as that film was, at least it was full of no-name actors with nothing to lose and no dignity to begin with seeing as they were in The ABCs of Death. This movie is not only stuffed to the brim with famous actors and actresses, most of them were roped into appearing in this out of strict contractual obligation rather than any real desire to be in the film. A lot of actors just got sucked in and guilted, only a small handful of them even showed up to the premier, and only Stephen Marchant has anything nice to say about being in the movie. Everyone else has at least enough dignity to be ashamed of their involvement.

I guess there’s no sense in prolonging this: let’s take a look at one of the most abysmal comedies of the modern age:

The Pitch: This is the framing device that is used for the US cut of the film, and thus the framing device I saw, in which a disgraced movie director played by Randy Quaid pitches his numerous shitty ideas to a producer, with said shitty ideas being all the sketches in this film. So basically, what you’re watching is what I can only assume was the actual pitch for this movie, and thus it sucks. There is nothing entertaining about this framing device; it really says something when the international version’s framing device, where kids look for a banned movie on the internet, sounds a lot better as a framing device.

The Catch: So apparently this was the first sketch filed, and it was used to sucker other celebs into joining the film. And I mean, it has Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet, and who wouldn’t want to be in a movie with those two? Well, when Hugh Jackman has testicles dangling from his neck, I sure wouldn’t. This isn’t really the worst sketch because of its content, but it is awful because it just hurts so much to see something so embarrassing. You feel so bad for Jackman for having those fake testicles on his neck, and you feel bad for Kate Winslet for having to act through this with Jackman. It honestly makes me depressed just thinking about it.

Homeschooled: This is probably one of the few sketches in the film that actually approaches being amusing. In it, parents played by Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber talk to another couple about how they homeschooled their kid, and how they made his homeschooling feel like authentic high school, complete with the parents bullying, hazing, and just making their poor son’s life into a living hell. All these jokes are pretty standard and basic, and of course they gotta throw in some incest jokes too and top everything off with some Oedipal imagery, but it could have been worse. Really, when it comes to this film, “could have been worse” is the best you can ask for.

The Proposition: Have you ever wanted to see Chris Pratt’s ex-wife ask him to take a shit on her? No? Well congratulations, fucker! You’re a normal, functioning human being, and not either of the writers for this shitty segment. This segment ends with Chris Pratt being hit by a car, exploding in a massive shit tsunami, and then his girlfriend finally accepts his proposal. What a load.

Veronica: Out of the entire movie, this might be the most inoffensive clip of the bunch; it’s not funny or anything, but it’s at least not as tacky and offensive as the others. I guess it helps that Emma Stone and Kieran Culkin are just really hamming it up for this one, as if they know they’re in a terrible bastardization of an indie movie scene and just want to make the whole thing look as dumb as possible. It’s not a good sketch, but it’s almost okay.

iBabe: So there’s this new life-sized nude replica of a woman you can use as an MP3 player. The fan was place din a certain spot that’s causing problems. Can you guess the spot, and the problem? If you’re the age of twelve or older, you sure can, and if you can, there’s really no reason to watch this pointless sketch.

Superhero Speed Dating: Batman is a dick to Robin. Tee hee. What a funny fucking joke. Next.

Machine Ki- Ok you know what? Fuck it. I am talking about the fucking speed dating segment, because it is just such an obnoxious, unfunny joke. Batman is just rude, condescending, and worst of all a total cockblock who doesn’t respect his partner, which is the sort of thing you see a lot in parodies of Batman mythos. And it’s just so… totally opposite of what Batman is, it doesn’t really subvert his relationship with Robin in a funny way either, it’s just “Haha what if Batman was a dick to his student?” And it’s just not funny. It’s lame, it’s lazy, and it’s a sign of someone with an extremely shallow knowledge of Batman.

Anyway…

Machine Kids: So it was kind of supposed to just be a joke, interrupting this segment to rant about the last one, but there is honestly just nothing I can say about this one. It’s a sketch that exists, I guess? It’s not particularly funny, it’s just something that’s real.

Middleschool Date: You know what’s really funny? Girls getting their periods. That’s the entire joke of this segment. If you don’t think girls getting their periods and teens freaking out over not understanding basic life facts is funny, this won’t amuse you. It also has a rather nonsensical ending, which certainly doesn’t help it out much.

Happy Birthday: This is it. This is the sketch that most closely approaches the realm of being funny. It’s about a guy catching a leprechaun for his buddy’s birthday, but the leprechaun is an obscene, nasty little bastard. It’s funny seeing Gerard Butler play a leprechaun, the joke is okay, the sketch doesn’t really overstay its welcome, and it has a juvenile but kinda amusing punchline. Maybe it’s just because everything else in the movie is so bad, but this one just isn’t really one I can muster a lot of hate for.

Truth or Dare: Halle Berry and Stephen Marchant go on a date and begin playing, well, truth or dare, and soon enough things go from risque to downright insane. If you’ve ever wanted to see Halle Berry make guacamole with a prosthetic boob, well, here you are. I feel it’s not worth it considering how nasty and disturbing the end is, but Marchant sure is unashamedly proud of being in a sketch with Halle Berry.

Victory’s Glory: This one is just boring and filled with bland stereotyping. It’s one you’ll forget exists as soon as it’s over.

Beezle: In the midst of the credits, we see how far James Gunn has come as a creator when we are subjected to this edgy piece of garbage he created. It’s about a girl who thinks her boyfriend’s animated cat is trying to sabotage her relationship, which he is. It has sodomy, brutal murder, bestiality, all that charming stuff from the man who brought us Guardians of the Galaxy. I guess this really is good as a showcase of how far he has come as a writer and director, because this ain’t Guardians, it ain’t Slither, and most importantly it ain’t good.

So… yeah. As you can see, there’s really nothing of value to be found here. Like yes, there’s an okay sketch in the middle of all this, but there were some passable ones in The ABCs of Death, and that movie was still shit. I’m sure you’re expecting some witty summation of this movie and its flaws, maybe a reiteration of how depressing it is to see so much talent wasted for unfunny jokes, maybe some sort of comedic take on all this garbage.

Well, that’s not happening. Even thinking about this stupid movie for this long has sapped my strength. I’m going to lie down. Fuck this movie.

[briangroth27]

Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom Review

I thought Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom was very good, even if it didn't live up to the original Jurassic Park. Of course, JP is my favorite movie ever, so I've long since given up on expecting a movie in this franchise to top it. That said, despite lacking some gravitas and wonder (though I think the lack of both is on purpose), I enjoyed Fallen Kingdom a lot!

Full spoilers…

J.A. Bayona's direction was masterful, creating beautiful imagery through the use of shadows and light. I loved the look of this movie all around and dinosaur reveals in particular were outstanding: whether illuminated by lightning strikes, dripping lava, or fiery smoke, the cinematography made them into majestic animals with an air of fantasy to them; fitting since they don’t belong in the world anymore. The way many of the dinosaurs were shot was gorgeous and the mix of CGI and puppetry was seamless. Moving the action to a remote manor complete with its own mad science labs as well as shots of the Indoraptor in front of the full moon achieved a classic, iconic Universal Monsters feel I absolutely loved! The mix of bright color and deep, truly dark black was a great change from modern blockbusters' reliance on washed-out looks and helped to build the tension perfectly when combined with Bayona’s filming style. Filmmaking choices like the (seemingly?) one-take sinking of a GeoSphere vehicle also brought a thrilling and breathless sensibility to the action sequences. The T-Rex blood extraction scene was another great sequence that achieved a perfect balance of tension and comedy. When Bayona incorporated physical comedy into the action scenes, like a tranquilized Owen (Chris Pratt) trying to evade lava or Blue knowing to dive out of a room about to explode, it added to the fun, classic adventure vibe of the movie rather than wrecking the tone. The movie is self-aware enough to play a scene with Blue as an action hero yet still takes the proceedings seriously enough to create a real sense of danger, and Bayona walked that extremely tough line very well. He also managed to pull genuine emotion out of the dinosaurs’ plight as Isla Nublar succumbed to the previously dormant volcano at its center. I didn’t want to watch so many dinosaurs die and it was heartbreaking to see them drowning, but nothing prepared me for the lonely death of a brachiosaurus on a dock. Watching the animal, obscured by smoke and unable to get to the boats that narrowly escaped the island even as lava crept up behind her, was without a doubt the saddest moment in the entire franchise. I didn’t walk into the movie expecting to feel so strongly about a random dinosaur, but Bayona absolutely nailed that scene and it left a definite impact.

I really liked what the movie did with Owen and Blue’s relationship. It was cool to see their earliest moments together via video of their first training session and I liked that their bond was strong enough to bring Owen back to Isla Nublar despite what he'd been through and the imminent volcanic eruption at the island's core. Their relationship was very well-explored here and even though it ended tragically because of a double cross—Blue came to associate Owen with getting shot and put in a cage—I’m glad to have seen this phase of their relationship and I'm excited to see where it goes next. It’s a little weird that Blue has taken the raptors from the scariest villains of the franchise into half of the films’ most iconic and heroic dino duo (the other half being Rexy), but it’s a testament to the writers of this film and Jurassic World, Pratt, and Blue’s puppeteers that it totally works and I completely buy that the bond between Blue and Owen overcomes Blue’s instinct to eat people. It was also nice to see Owen’s familiarity with the other dinosaurs come in handy when he tricked one of them into helping him and Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) escape from their own cage. Owen’s general demeanor throughout the movie was very entertaining and I’m interested to see how living in a world overrun by dinosaurs changes him. He can’t just run off to his remote cabin now; he actually has to deal with these animals out in the world.

I like Claire, but I wish she'd gotten more to do in this movie. She does spearhead the Dino rescue mission and convinces Owen to come back, but outside of providing the inspirational drive of the movie, she doesn't get to be very active. This worked in Jurassic World, where her arc took her from relying on (and obsessing over) control to embracing chaos by opening the T-Rex cage and allowing life to finally find a way, but here her relative inaction left me wanting more. I am glad she didn't stay down after her leg was injured in the climax and that she at least tried to take down the Indoraptor, but she didn’t feel like she had as much of an arc here. I think it’s interesting that her big moment in this film was a reversal of her choice in JW: she doesn’t open the door this time and is willing to let the dinos die to keep them from getting loose. She's apparently OK with life being free as long as it's free elsewhere (humans come first), and I hope this sticks with her as we go into the third film. Hopefully it'll bring about a more active Claire, whether she’s trying to make up for her choice by peacefully rounding up the dinos or something completely different. I liked that the movie’s villains tried to paint Claire and Owen as complicit in exploiting and domesticating the animals via Jurassic World as theme park attractions, but I wish our heroes had given at least some thought to how right they might’ve been. That was a good counter-argument to her seemingly totally altruistic turn towards conservatism and I wanted to see her deal with it. I feel like the writers, Howard, and Pratt crafted a perfectly contentious-yet-caring relationship between Owen and Claire that makes total sense as to why they’re not together anymore and provides fun beats like him saying it would be her fault if he died on Isla Nublar, yet never feels like they hate each other or are out to hurt one another. It also falls into the franchise’s history of relatively chaste romantic entanglements. I don’t know that I need them to end up together; I wouldn’t mind if they do, but wouldn’t be disappointed if they didn’t. That might seem like I’m not engaged in their connection, but the fact is I can see it going either way and am up for either.

Claire’s assistants, Franklin Webb (Justice Smith) and Zia Rodriguez (Danielle Pineda) were really likable and I hope they return in the next film. Even though they kinda disappear for segments of the movie's third act, it's easy to imagine they were having their own adventures and didn't just cease to exist until the script called for them to appear again. Webb especially seems like he had a hilarious series of misadventures undercover in various roles on the villains' ship and later in the lab. I loved how in over his head he was and Webb freaking out at everything never got old to me. I liked that Zia was always cool under pressure, though I do think they could've made a bigger deal out of her being a paleo-veterinarian who had never seen a living dinosaur before. Yes, Dinos have existed in this world for 25 years so there are probably extensive resources for her to study, but anything she's learned would still have to be theoretical or second-hand to her and they could've used that to increase the stakes and tension if things didn't go as smoothly on the operating table as she hoped. It also could've been dealt with as simply as her saying treating a living dinosaur was different than she'd imagined. This was a minor thing to me though and didn't hurt my enjoyment of the film or her character. I liked that they gave her a good moment of wonder when she finally did get to see a dinosaur for the first time; fittingly, the only character to express pure wonder over these animals at this point is the one whose job involves healing them. I'd like to see how she grows into an expert in her field with the world the movie ushers in.

I was sure the Maisie (Isabella Sermon) secret was that she was Ellie Satler, Sarah Harding, or maybe even Mrs. Kirby's daughter, all of which seemed like ridiculous and unnecessary callbacks to the franchise's previous entries. So, I was very glad she turned out to be what she was instead; that was a very cool twist that felt like a natural growth of this world’s science. I wonder if she has some dino DNA in her, given her somewhat enhanced speed and strength, good balance, and the very cool shot of the Indoraptor's face reflected over hers in a pane of glass. And she sees the dinos as being more like herself than the people in the world… Either way, letting the dinos free because they were like her was a good moment. I hope that if she does have Dino DNA in her, though, that this is the extent of what we get and not the militarized dinosaur soldiers that have been rumored over the years and pitched in JW. The franchise tie-in they did give Maisie—that she's related to John Hammond's silent ex-partner—worked very well. James Cromwell felt like a natural choice for someone who would've been a contemporary and associate of Hammond's and I liked what their falling out entailed. However, I thought Maisie’s nanny Iris (Geraldine Chaplin) insisting that she speak with an English accent was a bizarre choice. I wonder if it’s meant to be a subtle example of people trying to impose their will on nature, but if that’s the case, I would’ve liked a moment of Maisie choosing to defy that and speak with her natural accent. Regardless, I’m interested to see what role she has in the new world this movie leaves us with.

The Indoraptor was a cool, creepy monster. They upped the ante of smart Dinos nicely in that hybrid, with creepy moments like the Indoraptor smiling and playing with its prey. I also enjoyed the appearances of the mosasaurus and the new tradition of Rexy smashing the skeleton of the previous movie's "villain" dinosaur. I’ve seen it suggested online that the opening sequence of stealing the I-Rex bone is pointless because Rexy destroys it before Wu (BD Wong) can use it, but I don’t think that a subplot having an end—even if it’s not what the characters intended—is pointless. I also don’t have a problem with Wu needing the sample even though he created the I-Rex, another complaint I've seen online. He obviously left Jurassic World in a hurry, so it’s reasonable to assume he didn’t get to grab everything he needed and that he needed the finished I-Rex product, not just his notes on it.

Humanity's willingness to screw with, try to control, and make a profit off of nature has always been the real enemy in these films so it doesn't hurt the movie for me that (Wu aside) the human antagonists are fairly thinly drawn (though the actors played their parts well and the characters served their purposes). I did appreciate that Ted Levine’s Ken Wheatley had such character to him, even if he was an absolute idiot. What a big man, stealing teeth from animals that had already been caged! I was glad to see him go, but then we are supposed to be. The rest of the villains were a means to an end, caught up in distortions of nature brought on by other foolish men and/or their own greed and couldn't help but be destroyed by them. I think that's perfect, because the franchise is playing into exactly what Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) said Jurassic Park's original creators were trying to do: break barriers in science by standing on the shoulders of other geniuses without consideration for the cost or respect for the power they had, just to patent it, package it, and sell it. Much like Jurassic World played with the idea that dinosaurs are passé nowadays and they’d have to be genetically toyed with to continue being entertaining (like reigniting an old, classic franchise), Fallen Kingdom takes the wonder out of these animals and becomes a monster movie where the dinosaurs are literally auctioned off. The people controlling dinosaurs' fate have lost the wonder and respect for the forces they're manipulating and only see them as profit generators, never once considering whether they should see the dinosaurs as more. The sequel trilogy's story has become an exploration of the effects of the loss of wonder and respect for both the animals and the science that brought them back. Now that we've seen humans completely lose control, we're about to see humanity face the full force of nature snapping back and I can’t wait! Dinosaurs don’t respect, fear, or have any reverent wonder for humans either… Perhaps the final chapter will see the surviving humans finally relearn that respect and reverence for nature; hopefully they’ll do it before we go extinct (or maybe Satler was right all along and women will inherit the Earth after the dinosaurs eat all these foolish, greedy men).

I loved the debate over saving or letting the dinos die on Isla Nublar and it makes total sense Malcolm came down on the side that he has since the first film: the dinos shouldn’t be here and if nature is going to take them out again so be it. I wish we’d seen more of Malcolm, but this was a great use of his character. I’d love it if the next movie brought back not just Goldblum in an expanded role, but reunited several of the previous characters now that the world is completely different. Alan Grant, Ellie Satler, and Sarah Harding are all specialists that could find new lives in a Jurassic World. Maybe the resourceful kids we’ve seen over the course of the franchise—Lex, Tim, Kelly, and Eric—have grown up to become dinosaur experts themselves. Lex and Tim could become the true heirs of Hammond’s legacy; I liked that this film remembered that Hammond developed into a conservationist in The Lost World after the first Jurassic World only focused on his earlier “spared no expense” philosophy, and Lex & Tim could be instrumental in embodying that development. Of course there’s one character who’s persisted since the first film—Dr. Wu—and I can’t wait to see where the end of this trilogy takes him. He works for me as a modern mad scientist and if he does just want to see what he can do (while blaming his employers when things go wrong) that’s fine by me, but I wouldn’t be opposed to learning more of his story (as I’ve seen others requesting online). Whatever they do with Wu, I don’t think he should get eaten by a dinosaur, at least not until he’s had a final confrontation with Ian. They butted heads in the first film and it would be especially fitting if out of all the characters, Malcolm was the one to face him down again. Seeing the two of them face off one last time would be a very cool culmination of the saga and close to the franchise (or at least this chapter of it).

I like that the Jurassic franchise is old-fashioned in that it hasn’t tried to build an expansive universe that’s building to some enormous and unwieldy climax, but has hit on the same themes of family, scientific and environmental responsibility, nature vs. science, and chaos vs. control in different scenarios. It’s true that there have been some repeated themes—a park with dinosaurs, a fight to save the dinosaurs, a horror show trying to survive the dinosaurs—but I have liked all the movies to varying degrees and this was no exception. I thought the callbacks to earlier films were well-placed without feeling repetitive or overdone. While the first World captured nostalgia for the first film via the idea of the theme park and this one did feel similar to The Lost World, I greatly preferred this one's mainland events to the previous film's. I never disliked the T-Rex getting loose in San Diego and still think it's a fun sequence, but the turn towards horror in this film is better IMO. Additionally, the ending is very promising. With the dinosaurs finally free and roaming the world, it seems like the franchise is headed in a truly original and fresh direction that I’m very excited to see! How humanity interacts with these animals is a fascinating prospect and I’m thrilled to see the movies going there. I’m really excited to see the world this movie has set up! Even if this generation of free dinos is captured or naturally dies out, the science is finally out there and there will be no stopping the various shadowy organizations from producing further dinos…or doing something totally original. Plus, they can always go to Isla Sorna and pick up the Site B dinos if they need to bring more adults onto the mainland; that island was mentioned here, but it seemed unclear as to whether Nublar’s volcano was going to destroy both islands or not. Either way, seeing dinosaurs interacting with modern civilization wasn’t anything new (even just in terms of this franchise), but it still left me anticipating the possibilities of what the world will look like when we revisit it in Jurassic World 3 (they totally could’ve included the post-credit scene in the ending montage, though; why save it?). The idea of using dinosaurs for the military is kinda silly in this day and age IMO, so I’m glad we still haven’t seen it happen and I hope we don’t. Dinos implemented by private loons and organizations for defense might be something worth touching on, but even these animals seem so low-tech compared to modern warfare that it has never seemed worth the trouble. I'd much rather see dinosaurs presented as an invasive species no one can contain.

Fallen Kingdom is a thrilling, fun monster movie that sends this franchise into completely new territory by the end! I think it’s an improvement on Jurassic World and definitely worth seeing. It’ll be on home video in a couple of weeks and I've already pre-ordered it. Check it out!

Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!

[win-chan]

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR SPOILERS

OKAY GUYS for reals DO NOT read this if you haven’t watched Infinity War. Thanos demands your silence (not that I CARE WHAT THAT MONSTER WANTS) but still! I’m warning you and I’m putting a read more so that you can only see the spoilers if you click on it. Just watch the movie, don’t look at spoilers.

I haven’t been able to think of anything else since watching that movie... I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t have an appetite, I... I’M RUINED!! AHHHHH and I need to watch it again. So let me just nerd out and freak out about things that hurt me and things I loved the MOST

1. I’m like 99% sure that it was Loki’s voice sending out the distress signal. So, start off the movie with crazy incredible feels.

2. LOKI’S FACE when Thanos is killing Thor D’: D’: TOM HIDDLESTON YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. I am amazed at how Loki starts out trying to just stare at Thanos but as Thor screams his eyes dart down to his brother and more and more pain enters his eyes and he starts breathing harder and his lip trembles until, “ALL RIGHT! STOP!” And then immediately after he just closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath of relief and also “Oh crap now I need to give him the tesseract to save my brother’s life and the whole galaxy is going to be destroyed.”

3. “The light will shine on us again” like HOLD ME WHILE I CRY OKAY. I REALLY wonder what Loki meant by that, what he did, what his whole plan was! I was thinking it could be possible that he did a little switcharoo and Thanos killed a fake version of himself? He didn’t have the reality stone at that time and Loki is the god of tricks! Also, Thor said that Thanos wiped out HALF his people - maybe by that he meant that half the people had already been destroyed? But it seems possible that some of them escaped, like Valkyrie and the like. We don’t really know what happened. Also - 

4. “We have a hulk.” DUDE BEST LINE OF THE MOVIE!? Like freakin Tony Star used this line against Loki in Avengers 1 and now Loki uses it against Thanos - talk about amazing character development!! 

5. The Hulk/Thanos battle had seriously epic music and it was awesome so long as Hulk was kicking Thanos’s trash. Also Loki disappeared after this moment for a while - maybe he did some of his Loki tricks where he leaves a fake Loki behind when he knows it’s likely he’ll die - maybe to draw Thanos’s attention away from Thor or something? - and disappeared? I just REFUSE to accept that after EVERYTHING Loki DIED just by being THROWN AWAY like that!!!

6. Loki sacrificing himself to try to kill Thanos and calling himself ODINSON, and Thor’s look of pure horror when he realizes what Loki is about to try to do D:

7. Thor SCREAMING when he watches his brother get MURDERED IN FRONT OF HIM and then crawling over to him and throwing himself over his dead bro’s body while the ship explodes as he whimpers Loki’s name D:

8. Bruce Banner crashing into Stephen Strange’s sanctum place and the pure terror on his face as he explains what’s going on - that there’s this crazy genocidal alien maniac named Thanos that was strong enough to kill THOR, also it’s really cute how he seemed pretty shaken up and upset about Thor having died.

9. Bruce saying that Thanos sent Loki to destroy Earth FINALLY VALIDATION LOKI ISN’T COMPLETELY INNOCENT FOR THAT BUT IT ALSO WASN’T COMPLETELY HIS FAULT EITHER

10. Tony and Pepper got MARRIED awww and talking about how he had a dream they had a kid and it was so real but it was so real not because you were going to have a son the two of you but because PETER PARKER IS YOUR SON!!! Confirmed.

11. Tony’s “Earth is closed.” And his new suit tho!! Talk about a BA

12. The whole Thor crash-landing onto the Guardians of the Galaxy ship was golden. ALSO, why haven’t I seen anyone talk about how GAMORA WAS SO CUTE AND SHE WAS SINGING AND DANCING TO PETER’S MUSIC WHILE THEY WERE FLYING I ALMOST DIED IT WAS SO ADORABLE

13. Peter’s masculinity contest with Thor xD And Thor deciding that Rocket is the captain. And how much Rocket loves Thor!!

14. “Thank you, sweet rabbit.”

15. Rocket and Thor’s conversation JUST KILL ME NOW. Thor doesn’t even care if he dies anymore because he doesn’t have anything else to lose.

16. When Vision and Wanda were about to get wreckt and Captain America APPEARS LIKE A BOSS and kills it alongside Sam and Natasha

17. When the Wakanda theme starting playing and everyone started cheering!

18. T’challa was leading Wakanda to battle and they were doing their whole chants “IBOMBE!” or however you spell that

19. When Peter and Gamora have their conversation and have the most beautiful kiss D: And then freakin Drax shows up and ruins it with comedy gold!!!

20. When Thanos has Gamora and she reminds Peter of his promise to kill her... and Peter’s heartbroken, “I told you to go right.” THIS TEARS ME UP INSIDE because at this point Peter feels so so so so helpless and the only thing he can think again and again in his head is, if they would’ve listened to him (like they never do) maybe things would’ve been different, and Gamora wouldn’t be in Thanos’s hands, and Peter wouldn’t have to kill her D: “I told you to go right...”

21. The Guardians of the Galaxy meet up with Team Iron Man, and the profound question: “Why is Gamora?”

22. “Oh come on you big green asshole!”

23. Thor took Groot language as an elective!

24. Gamora’s death... just... just... WHY?! Once all this mess is fixed and Gamora’s still dead, how is Peter going to cope!? What’s going to happen in the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie?? Gamora was his moral compass, his new reason for happiness, his purpose for existence - HOW WILL HE GET OVER THAT?! 

25. When Thor APPEARED IN THE BATTLE FIELD YEAHHHHHHHH you can bet that I cheered like a maniac when he came - MOST EPIC MOVIE IN HISTORY.

26. Bruce’s “Yeah you guys are so screwed now!!” when Thor arrives

27. The Bucky/Rocket spinny team up

28. Wanda was a BOSS in this movie! Girl power y’all!

29. The epic three-woman team up against that freak from the Black Order!! That was LEGENDARY and just what I needed.

30. When Dr. Strange saw however many MILLIONS of different outcomes he had to see in order for them to have a chance of survival! And now everything that’s happening is on the particular timeline where they succeed but in order for that to happen he had to let Thanos win and everyone to die!

31. When Wanda had to kill Vision herself to keep Thanos from getting the mind stone D:

32. When Peter Quill pieces together that Thanos killed Gamora and his HEART-WRENCHING REACTION and Chris Pratt’s A+ reaction. even though I was mad because it ended up causing them to lose and everything... apparently that’s the only scenario where they succeeded, according to Dr. Strange. So... it works. 

33. when everyone starts disappearing... and everyone’s reactions are so heartbreaking and beautiful and tore out my heart...

34. Cap’s reaction was so amazing. Like he doesn’t really react much right when Bucky disappears because he’s confused and doesn’t quite know totally what’s going on but then he sees Vision’s mind stone gone and realizes what happened and all he can say is “Oh God.” SO POWERFUL

35. AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON PETER PARKER’S DEATHHH

Okay this has been going on for too long so I’m going to leave it there but 

I LOVED WHEN THOR SHOWED UP WITH HIS NEW AX AND TOTALLY SAVED THE DAY AND KICKED EVERYONE’S TRASH

[whiskeyxcola]

Yours Truly: Part Seven

Summary: Fourth of July is a family affair on the Pratt farm; something new sparks between Chris and Sadie.  Pairing: Chris Pratt x OFC, Chris Evans x OFC Word Count: 1775 Warnings: Mentions of divorce and abandonment. A/N: Hope you enjoy the continuing series collab with @captain-s-rogers​! Don’t be afraid to ask to be on the taglist, and please let us know what you think! Also, keep an eye out for part eight, which Ashley will be posting later today! 

Tags: @ellen-reincarnated1967​ @crazililwabbit​ @catching-up-with-kayla​ @speakinvain​

Masterlist

July 4

Caroline,

Happy Fourth of July! Honestly, I don’t know who’s more excited for fireworks, me or Layla!

I’m including the pictures from the birthday party with this letter. We had so much fun! Layla said it was her best birthday ever, and that’s all I need to know. Her friends seemed to enjoy it, too, and Chris and his parents were happy with everything, so that’s good, too.  

Chris’s parents are super nice, but they want to take Layla for the rest of the summer. Chris told them no, that he didn’t want to be away from Layla, and he doesn’t want Layla to be taken away from me. In light of some other things that were said, he’s going to talk with me later about what happened exactly between him and his ex-wife, while Kathleen and Daniel take Layla into town for a few things for the barbecue later on. They’re all at breakfast right now -- I was invited to go, but I think some family time might be better for them.

We watched Chris’s rally last night, and I actually saw you! Looking powerful and professional as always. You’re rocking this job, C, I just know it. I’m hoping there are some more details in your next letters that come about what’s going on with you and your boss. (I’m a horrible influence, I know.)

There are more things I want to tell you, but I just can’t get them onto paper. Telling you always makes things real, and I want them to be real but they still seem so overwhelming to put on paper -- maybe it’s time for a phone call? Miss you much, bestie!

Yours truly,

Sadie

After addressing, sealing, and stamping the envelope with the letter and pictures in it, Sadie left it in Kathleen’s trusted care to take into town and drop off for her. The post office would be closed, but the big blue box was always open.

Once Layla was gone with her grandparents, Sadie set to work in the kitchen preparing food for the mid-afternoon cook-out. Chris helped her by slicing up some vegetables for a tray while they talked.

“How was breakfast with your parents?” she asked.

“It was good, and much needed, like you said. Not that I’m happy admitting you were right,” he teased.

Sadie laughed lightly. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Hopefully you’re not upset, but I agreed to let Layla go up to Minnesota with them for a week when they head back. I’ll fly up the last couple of days to visit and bring Layla back with me.”

“Why would I be upset?” Sadie frowned. “She’s not my daughter, Chris, she’s yours. They’re her grandparents. Even if you had decided to send her up there for the rest of the summer, I would have been disappointed but not mad. It’s not my choice to make.”

“Thanks,” Chris said, piling a handful of celery sticks onto the tray. “I guess we could go ahead and talk about Emily.”

“Only if you want to.”

He let out a deep breath, deciding where to begin, exactly. “She left almost a year ago. Layla had just turned four, and I could tell Emily was getting restless. She wouldn’t talk to me about what was wrong, just grew more and more distant. Finally, one day, she told me she had met someone else and she was leaving. I told her,” he took another deep breath, “I told her that I wasn’t going to allow her to take Layla, to which Emily replied that she hadn’t planned on taking her.”

Sadie’s eyes grew wide. “I’m not saying that leaving you is any better, but how could she leave her own daughter behind? And willingly, at that.”

“Emily didn’t want kids when we started dating. By the time we were married, she had changed her mind without any convincing from me, and when she got pregnant with Layla, we were both ecstatic. It didn’t take long for her to remember why she didn’t want kids, I guess.”

Sadie’s eyes welled with tears; her heart broke all over again for both Chris and Layla. She tried to stop the tears, but it was to no avail.

“Hey, don’t cry, Adie,” Chris said, using Layla’s name for her as a means to cheer her up. He set down the knife and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side. “We turned out all right. We got you.”

“I know,” Sadie sniffled, “and I know it’s not about me. It just makes me so angry and so sad. You and Layla both deserve so much better.”

“You have a big heart,” Chris said, running his hand up and down her arm. “That’s what makes you so special to us.”

Sadie leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m not going to save you deviled eggs just because you’re flattering me, you know.”

Chris laughed and went back to the vegetables. “Hey, you can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Sadie laughed, too, and dried her tears. “Change of subject, but I might like to stick around while Layla’s gone, if that’s okay. Look for some jobs in the area.”

“Yeah, of course. You’re welcome to -- hey, if you find one close to here, you’ll be around for harvest.”

“Come to think of it, what do you farm? I mean, I’ve been here for a month now, and I assumed it was wheat, but we’ve never actually talked about it.”

“Sunflowers,” Chris smiled, blushing a little.

Excitement beamed bright across Sadie’s features. “I love sunflowers!”

“Well, you’ll have to at least come around during harvest. I’ll make sure you get some good flowers.”

Their conversation flowed easily after that, with witty banter and flirty teasing. By the time Layla, Kathleen, and Daniel returned, it was as though they were old friends, comfortable and familiar.

The air smelled of bug spray and firecrackers by the time night fell. They were all full on hamburgers, hot dogs, and a variety of fruits and veggies -- not to mention the desserts that Kathleen and Sadie had baked.

Layla had frosting smeared across her face, and her hands were sticky from a slice of watermelon. When they all set out lawn chairs to watch the fireworks the neighbors down the road were shooting off, she crawled onto her father’s lap and leaned her head against his chest. She was asleep before the fireworks even started.

“She had a long day,” Sadie commented.

Chris nodded, kissing the top of Layla’s head. “That she did, and I don’t think she was fully re-energized from her birthday.”

“I think you’re right.” She leaned her head back and sighed, watching Layla sleep. “I’m going to miss her next week. I haven’t been here that long, but it seems like it’s been forever.”

“Yeah, it does,” Chris said.

Sadie studied him for moment before turning back to the fireworks. There was a note of relief in his comment, and Sadie couldn’t help but feel encouraged for it. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who was feeling something more than what would normally be considered professional or even friendly when it came to the relationship with Chris.

She was in the midst of accepting that these feelings were actually happening when Chris confirmed that she was, in fact, not the only one feeling that way: he reached over and slipped his fingers through hers. Sadie tried not to smile too big, squeezing his hand a little in acknowledgement of the gesture.

The next morning, Sadie’s heart was still on a high from the night before. Holding hands with Chris while the fireworks exploded over them wasn’t something that she had expected to happen, especially within seconds of coming to terms with her own developing feelings.

She hummed all the way through making pancakes for breakfast, cleaning up the patio from the Fourth of July celebration, and doing the dishes that had been abandoned the night before. She smiled to herself through the laundry and through Layla’s counting lesson. By the time lunch rolled around, she was more than a little excited to see Chris come in from his outdoor work with Daniel that morning.

Chris, it seemed, was just as excited at the prospect of something new as Sadie felt. The two of them shared blushing glances and secret smiles all throughout lunch. They didn’t say much to each other, but he did wink at her on his way through the back slider when he returned to the fields.

After lunch, Kathleen laid down for a nap, and Sadie set about getting Layla packed for her trip.

“If I’m not leavin’ till tomorrow, why do I have to pack my clothes now?” Layla groaned, leaning on the edge of the mattress.

“First of all,” Sadie smiled, “I am packing your clothes, not you, little miss. Second of all, it’s good to be prepared.”

“It’s not ‘cause you want me to go away?”

Sadie zipped up Layla’s bag and sat on the bed, pulling Layla into her lap. “I never want you to go away, Layla, but I can’t keep you here all the time, either. That’s selfish.”

“You promise you’ll be here when I come back?”

“Of course! Me and Daddy are going to be so bored with you gone!”

Layla grew quiet and pensive, so Sadie set her back on the floor and double-checked around the room that she had packed everything.

“Are you taking your monkey or your goose to Grandma and Grandpa’s?”

“Goose,” Layla answered definitively. The pensive look returned to Layla’s countenance, but this time she verbalized her thoughts. “Sadie, are you gonna kiss Daddy?”

Sadie turned to Layla with her brow raised. “Kiss Daddy?”

Layla nodded, excited now that the subject was out in the open. “Yes! He was so sad when Mama left, but he’s happy now! And he says you’re a blessing, to both of us. And I know you was holding hands last night.”

“Oh, Layla …”

The little girl took Sadie’s hands. “It’s okay with me!”

“Oh, it is?” Sadie chuckled. “Can you keep a secret, sweetheart?”

Layla nodded. “Yes. Is it about Daddy?”

Sadie nodded, too, and crouched down in front of her. “And about you. I wasn’t sad before I came here, but I was kinda lonely. And I’m not, now that I’m here with you and Daddy.”

Layla flung her little body into Sadie’s hug. “That’s why you have to stay forever!”

Sadie hugged Layla tightly, not saying anything, but thinking, if only for that moment, she would be fine staying there forever with Chris and Layla.  

Part Eight

[chris-evans-imagine]

Mistletoe

Prompt: Hey, can you do an imagine where y/n and chris meet at Chris Pratts bbq party after not seeing each other for a very long time and he finally asks her out. They've been friends since they've made a movie in 2005 and they've never been single when the other was single, so they were no good timing.. ☺️

 A/N: I struggled a little to write this because i had a lot on my mind during this but i loved the request. Therefore, I wanna thank my beta readers because they helped me a lot, you’re amazing! @macca-mcsexy @avasimaginesblog

Warnings: Fluff, Chris!Daddy.

2005

“Hey, Chris, who’s him?” y/n asked his brother. He was on the BBQ, while everybody were about to go watching the game inside the house.

“A friend, his name’s Chris Evans. Met him on auditions, so I invited him…”

“Oh, he’s cute” Chris Pratt looked at his little sister. She had that naughty smile on her face, curtesy of the Pratt heritage.

“Seriously?”

“I’m just saying it to annoy you, big baby” Y/n knew that part of it was true. She actually meant it, but the moment she met his eyes, holy moly! She felt her heart racing. It was a cliché when people say that fireworks happen when you look into the right eyes. She felt the fireworks, the volcano exploding and the universe colliding.

After the game, everybody was leaving, y/n was on the kitchen, at her 22 years old, she was the youngest child of the family, sometimes she hated she was still the baby for all of them, but when it came to responsibilities, she was the one facing them, like cleaning up the mess after a party. She was carrying some of the garbage bags when he walked in.

“Oh… hi” he smiled. She smiled too. Inside she was terrified.

“Hello, you must be the other Chris” he nodded amused by the girl standing in front of him.

“I guess. I’m Chris Evans”

“Nice to meet you, y/n Pratt.” You must live one of this moments in your lifetime, when you just feel… magic.

“Oh, I was looking for your brother to say goodbye but let me help you” since she was glimpsed by him, she accepted the help. He took the bags as she walked in front of him, guiding the way.

“Thanks… hum, I don’t know where Chris is” she added.

“It’s fine. Hey, hum” she looked at him, paralyzed, her hands on her pockets “is that a dog?” he pointed the front park, she nodded. Damn. Her husky must’ve escaped again.

“Yes, that’s Fenway” she didn’t know if she pushed him and began running, after the dog. What she knew was the run wasn’t by herself, he was next to her. He whistled and Fenway stopped. She yelled at him and he stood there, almost laughing at the humans.

“So… Fenway?” she nodded as both of them knelt.

“He’s very friendly. And yes, my dad gave it to me when I was 18, I wanted a cool name, so he was nameless for the first days” they walked together and sat on the sidewalk, Chris caressed Fenway but kept looking at her “and one day we were watching the news, the name came up and he barked… so, that was it” he smiled. She was funny, nice and… something he couldn’t explain.

Suddenly both of them were touching the dog and then, their looks met. The space between them felt like the sea, it became shorter and shorter. He felt her sweet breathing, she was dizzied by his manly smell.

“They found him!” she heard her brother yell breaking the spell.

***

2009

Her brother’s wedding was beautiful. Something happened when he saw a blonde, tall guy as she walked down the aisle. What the damn hell? Something shut down the moment she realized he wasn’t by himself. There was a gorgeous woman sitting next to him. She needed to keep it together.

When Chris saw y/n, he experienced something he has only lived once: his heart skipped a beat. The first time it happened was the moment their sight met at the BBQ. She was beautiful. The years had been good to her. Suddenly, he felt the hands of his companion and sighed.

***

2013

Against all odds, he could make it to Jack’s first birthday!

He rang the bell, funny how universe works, y/n was nearby and heard it. She was barely able to walk by now but she made her way towards the door. She opened to meet the reason of her younger fantasies.

Chris’s jaw almost hit the ground. Her hair was lighter, her cheeks pinkier and her belly swallower. She was radiant.

“Chris, hi” she spoke. He smiled.

“Wow… you’re beautiful, y/n” she smirked back. And shrugged.

“Thanks, come on in”

“Thanks, I didn’t know you were pregnant”

“Yeah, I got married almost a year ago and now… well, this” she pointed. Y/n didn’t know if it was her son kicking or butterflies flying inside her belly.  

“I’m really happy for you”

***

2017

A few months after y/n gave birth to Samuel, Chris became a father himself. He didn’t got married to her daughter’s mom, but still had a great relationship with her. Ava Evans was his entire world, at age 3, she was already taking all over the world.

Today was a regular day, were Chris was invited to spend New Year’s at the Pratt’s place. Ava was almost asleep on the backseat. He didn’t mind. He knew his daughter was independent and smart. She reminded him to another girl he had met long time ago. Despite the years, he still experienced the purity and the pleasing moment they had the very first day.

Once there, he thought on the odds of seeing her. He wondered over the years of her as a mother, of her as woman.

Chris Pratt opened the door and invited him a sparkling wine, which he denied since he was driving. The main reason he’d agreed going there was that his friend was struggling with his first holidays being separated from Anna. It didn’t cross his mind that through the decorations and the lights, she’d be there. y/n was pointing at something, a little boy was standing next to her. He looked a lot like her. She lifted up her sight to meet his.

“Daddy? Can I go play?” Chris nodded, speechless, Ava denied with his head, daddy didn’t help to take off her coat, and she did it anyway. “Wait… who is she?”

“An old friend, come one, sweetie, I want you to meet her” Chris and y/n had that connection, where the whole world could be falling apart and they’d be still looking at each other. Chris was different than she remembered, he looked older. But so much more handsome, if that was even possible, that beard made him look… interesting. If it wasn’t for the naughtiness that sparked on his blue eyes, she would’ve imagined he was with a little girl.

“Hey, Chris” she leaned to kiss her cheek. The little boy almost hid behind her, Ava was holding her daddy’s hand.

“It’s so good to see you, it’s been what? Four years?” she nodded amused. “Hum, this is my daughter, Ava. Ava, this is Y/N and her son Samuel”

“Oh, it’s really nice to meet you, you’re so beautiful, Ava”

“You’re really beautiful too, y/n” Chris was quite surprised, Ava was really jealous when a female approached too much.

“Samuel, come to say hi” Samuel smiled, was pretty much the opposite of Ava.

“Hey, Jack’s upstairs, there’s the nanny. I think they’re watching a movie” her sister came to instruct the kids’ entertainment.

“Can we go, daddy?” Ava held Samuel’s hand and since Chris nodded, made their way upstairs.

“So… how’s my baby sister?” the older brother asked trying to host the evening. She shrugged. But before she could say something, he excused himself, leaving them alone.

“I was very interested on your answer, you know…”

“Oh, well. I’ve been investing, since I became a mother I wanted to have more time for Ben and I decided that business was my thing. So I help little enterprises to grow and it’s going great. I got divorced almost a year ago and that’s pretty much what you missed of my life” she grabbed her hair and put it behind her ear.

“Oh, it sounds amazing! The… business thing, not that you got divorced, I’m sorry about that”

“Well… that’s stuff that happens, sometimes you love a person but you’re not happy and it’s for the best, I think. What about you?”

“I’m starting to direct movies, which it’s a whole new world that I love. I have the most amazing partner in crime”

“Oh” she murmured.

“Yeah, Ava is great” he added.

“Oh, I thought you meant her mom or… never mind, I’m just jumping into conclusions”

“You don’t have to apologize, y/n” he added amused by her red cheeks.

“Yeah. I think I’ll go the kitchen to check something”

“I’ll go with you, if you don’t mind. I don’t know many people” she felt her muscles tensing. It wasn’t a big deal, right?

He help her checking some stuff. They talked about a million things, from one moment to another, it was almost time. They had talked about their kids, their relationships, families and work. They were inside they’re very own bubble, until two little kids came to pop it.

“Mommy?”

“Hey, sweetie, what’s going on?”

“I told Ava that we should come to give you a hug because it’s the last hug of the year!” Chris smiled at the sweet picture. Ava was already on his lap and Samuel on y/n’s. Both kids hugged their parents. The little girls whispered at his father’s ear.

“I like her and you like her, and Sammy likes you too, here” she handed her a mistletoe. And winked. That girl was pure sassiness and attitude.

“Where did you watch this, honey?” Chris asked almost laughing.

“We saw it on a movie earlier” she shrugged, kissed his cheek and took Samuel with her to the way back. Chris was smiling.

“I’ll go walk them” y/n disappeared and in that moment, he felt his heart racing. Yes, it was an innocent thing. After all this years, was that what he needed to kiss those red lips?

She was standing on the frame of the door when he saw something above her.

“Don’t move” she arched her eyebrow. He walked towards her, grabbed her neck before proclaiming her lips as his. He kissed her slowly, testing her sweetness. She sighed against his lips, the sensation was worth the almost thirteen years they had waited.

He took his time, exploring her mouth, using his tongue on her lower lip. Y/n had her arms around his neck, his hands were on her lower back. His touch was just like he had imagined it after all those years. They were there. Singles, with a kid each, but… there.

“What was that for?” she asked. He smiled against her lips.

“Mistletoe... and two little rascals”

TAG SQUAD: @macca-mcsexy @always-an-evans-addict @a-court-of-stydia​ @karlhacontreras @potterhead1265 @easytransformations  @patzammit

[sillytails-blog]

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Hold on to your butts!

To say this movie had me on the edge of my seat thru out is an understatement. I was one centimeter away from falling to the ground every second of this summertime blockbuster.

Chris Pratt returns as the charming and engaging animal control expert Owen alongside Bryce Dallas Howard’s uptight and controlling Claire followed by two new cast members Zia( Daniella Pindea) the bad ass paleovet and Franklin (Justice Smith) the annoying tech guy. The real show stealer here though are as always the dinosaurs. The newest of which is the Indo-Raptor, a horrifying Frankenstein’s monster creation created once again by actor B.D Wong’s on screen persona Dr. Henry Wu.

Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom starts off with a bang and never loses steam. The plot is rather simple at first but throws in enough twists to make this movie really stand out from the first Jurassic World. The premise this time around is that Isla Nublar’s volcano is about to erupt and the once extinct now very much alive dinosaurs are about to enter extinction for a second time. Claire leads a group of animal rights activist that are fighting to save the dinosaurs even though the government believes that the natural course of history is trying to correct itself.

Owen begrudgingly gets dragged back to the island as Claire tugs on his heartstrings to save Blue the raptor he raised from birth. Zia and Franklin tag along on this crusade to save the dinos and once they step foot on the island everything goes wrong very quickly. Under the guise of relocating the dinosaurs to an island sanctuary where mankind can no longer interfere Claire and Owen join a group of skilled animal wranglers commissioned by the master mind of the plan Mills (Rafe Spall). The group quickly realize that they were lied to and Mills and company only want to make a profit on the dinosaurs by weaponizing them and selling them to very rich unsavory people from around the world.

From the volcano exploding and ash, sulfur, and lava pouring all over the island to the dinosaurs themselves the cgi and camera work made this movie feel so real and engaging. In particular the Lockwood estate was such a beautiful set piece and so hauntingly dark and eerie. Every dinosaur to the smallest to the largest were on full display and every. single. time. They entered the scene the movie was made all the better for it. Owen’s relationship with Blue was very fleshed out and endearing and his new companion in the third act of the film Stiggy (A bone-dome headed ramming dinosaur) were the highlights of the movie. Also as they should the T-Rex stole the show every time she showed up. Every villain gloriously got their comeuppance and every decision made by the main actors was satisfying. 

MASSIVE SPOILERS REGARDING THE END!

At the end of the film the choice is up to Claire and Mr. Lockwood’s young granddaughter to decide if the dinosaurs should live or die as they are about to suffocate to death on toxic gas. The only way to save them is to release them into the wilds of the world. Claire decides not to but young miss Maisie believes they should have another chance at life. As she hits the button to release them and they enter the world my mind was racing as to what the next movie could possibly be about. I am so excited to hop back into Jurassic World for a third time and see where the journey takes us!

Closing statement

This movie delivered everything i wanted and more. Giant set pieces, amazing dinosaurs, Chris Pratt, and of course Jeff Goldblum. I cannot recommend this movie enough to everyone who has been in love with this series since the original Jurassic Park as i have been. Do yourself a favor and go see it.

Final Score 10/10 

[girlsbtrs]

The Five Best Songs in Movie Scenes, According to a High School Senior

Written by Jennifer Moglia. Graphic by Laura Cross. 

As a girl who was born in the 2000s, lived out my childhood in the 2010s, and turned 18 years old in the year 2021,  all forms of media have played a huge role in my experiences growing up. From movies and TV shows to all different types of music to YouTube videos and social media creators, I’ve spent a large portion of my life watching other people do things, whether it was acting, singing, playing an instrument, or even just reviewing makeup products on Vine or TikTok. 

However, one of these mediums has stood out from the rest; movies (or as the nerd in me would like to call them, “films”). As a freshman in high school, I decided to try to start watching more movies when I realized that my favorites consisted solely of Disney cartoons and the occasional cheesy rom-com. 

Over the years, I’ve practically exhausted Netflix and Hulu’s libraries, bought a ridiculous amount of DVDs, and my Letterboxd diary has just reached 200 films (shameless self-promo, you can follow me there @happilyjennifer). When watching movies, especially ones that I’ve never seen before, I always try to pay attention to the music used in each scene - not the instrumental score, but the specific songs used to highlight pivotal moments. 

The right track can make a sad scene heart-wrenching or a happy scene exhilarating, a romantic scene fairy tale-worthy or a death scene absolutely traumatic; a particular song can elevate a key scene in a film, making it that much more impactful. So, without further ado, here are my five favorite uses of songs in movie scenes, from films I’ve seen throughout my 18 years.

Honorable Mention: Heroes by David Bowie in “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”

Some might be shocked at this scene’s placement in the “honorable mention” section due to how revered it is, but that’s almost why it lands there. This film and book have both been overhyped to death as a coming-of-age staple for as long as I can remember, and for that reason, I was underwhelmed when I first read and watched it. 

However, I don’t think it should suffer because of its reputation, which is why I simply couldn’t pick a numbered spot for it. Standing alone as a scene, without any of the praise, this song and movie combination is absolutely breathtaking. 

The visual of Emma Watson’s character Sam standing up in the car with Patrick and Charlie, her arms outstretched as the trio zooms through the tunnel to the city, is a visceral experience. Charlie proclaiming that he feels “infinite” is the cherry on top - he finally feels free, free from any past trauma or current stresses or general pressures of being a teenager. 

It’s a beautiful moment, and it’s made iconic by the addition of Bowie’s hit song. The pairing of Heroes with “Perks”’ instantly recognizable “tunnel scene” is unforgettable.

5. God Only Knows by The Beach Boys in “Love Actually”

As a member of “Gen Z”, you won’t be surprised to hear that my attention span is not the best. That’s why, at times, “Love Actually” dragged a bit for me - I felt that the two-hour and 15-minute runtime was just a little much, especially with so many different stories to keep up with. 

Despite all of that, though, I think that the ending practically saves this movie. The words “one month later” flash across the screen, and we are brought to Heathrow Airport, the place that David, played by Hugh Grant, spoke of at the beginning of the film. 

We’re reminded of his opening sentiment, that whenever he’s feeling down, he thinks back to watching families reuniting at the gates in this airport, and he instantly feels better. It’s a perfect opening to a film about love, and calling back to it makes for a perfect ending. 

The viewers see each of the film’s stories wrapped up neatly with a bow, particularly helpful for people like me who practically forgot about some of the characters by the time the two-hour mark was reached. What really makes this scene one of my favorites, though, is the very end of it. 

As the lyrics “God only knows what I’d be without you” repeat and start to fade out, we are taken away from our characters and the screen now shows real families reuniting in Heathrow Airport, not actors. The clips form a collage and then, ultimately, a heart, before it all fades to black. True human connection can warm even the coldest of hearts, and this classic love song by The Beach Boys is the perfect soundtrack to these heartfelt moments.

4. Fooled Around and Fell in Love by Elvin Bishop in “Guardians of the Galaxy”

Throughout my middle school and early high school years, I knew more about Marvel movies than I did about my family or the material I was learning in school. I saw “Avengers: Age of Ultron” in theaters five times, skipped my first spring formal dance to see “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” in 3D on opening night, and even had a personalized Iron Man sweatshirt that I wore nearly every day.

The Marvel franchise that utilizes music, or at least recognizable music, the most is definitely the “Guardians of the Galaxy” series. Chris Pratt’s character Peter “Star Lord” Quill’s mother made mixtapes for him while she was still in his life, filled with pop music from the 1970s-80s that she listened to when she was younger.

Titled “Awesome Mix Volume 1”, Quill becomes attached to it as it was one of the only items he had left of his mother after they were separated. The music that she shared with him becomes a key piece of this movie as well as its sequel, from Baby Groot swaying in a flower pot to “I Want You Back” by the Jackson 5 to Star Lord completing a mission while Redbone’s “Come And Get Your Love” plays through his headphones.

My favorite use of a classic song in a “Guardians” movie, though, is in an interaction between Quill and his love interest, Gamora. The two are bonding over their unusual relationships with their parents with Quill talking about how music connects him to his mom, pulling out his tape deck and headphones.

The dynamic between the two characters here is hilariously adorable, as Gamora explains that she doesn’t believe in music or dancing, which appalls Quill and leads to him explaining the plot of the movie “Footloose” to her, applying it to the people on her planet. He then takes off his headphones and puts them on her head, allowing her to listen to “Fooled Around and Fell in Love”, though she doesn’t quite appreciate the moment, talking over the music about how the “melody is very pleasing.”

I’m a sucker for awkwardly cute couples and the mini enemies-to-lovers storyline between Star Lord and Gamora gives me butterflies every time; I can’t help but giggle when Quill goes in for the kiss and Gamora immediately pulls a weapon on him. The use of such a well-known love song makes this moment that much sweeter.

3. Where is my Mind? by The Pixies in “Fight Club”

Yes, I realize that I’m automatically breaking the first rule of “Fight Club” by even listing it here, but I had to. This is a movie that countless people (men, countless men) had told me to watch for years, and I finally caved about a year ago out of “quarantine boredom.”

While I don’t praise this film as much as others do (men, as much as men do), I can certainly appreciate the influence that it has had on the world of film at large. There’s a lot of commentary on consumerism, violence, individualism, and the concept of masculinity packed into these two hours, even though many people (you know what these parentheses are about to say: many men) miss all of that and just watch it for the fight scenes.

The scene I chose from “Fight Club” as one of my favorites uses of a song in a film is the ending, which includes “Where is my Mind?” by The Pixies. The Narrator (Ed Norton) has just shot himself, effectively killing his alternate personality of Tyler Durden, and his love interest Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) has been kidnapped and brought to him by his Project Mayhem workers.

Marla is horrified upon finding The Narrator in the condition that he’s in and learning that he’s the one who put himself in this situation, or at least he thinks so. All he can offer to her is to say this: “I'm sorry...you met me at a very strange time in my life.” This is when the buildings start to fall.

All of the explosives planted by Project Mayhem begin to detonate, exploding and imploding as Marla and The Narrator look on, The Pixies’ hit playing softly in the background. She looks startled at first, before relaxing and allowing him to take her hand, and the two watch the city crumble to the ground with “Where is my Mind?” as the backing track; it’s masterfully done.

2. Everytime by Britney Spears in “Spring Breakers”

I want to start this section by saying that I’m fully aware that this scene shouldn’t work, let alone be beautiful, and the same could be said for this movie as a whole, but for some reason, there’s something captivating about “Spring Breakers” and the renowned “Everytime” scene. Netflix first suggested this movie to me as a freshman in high school (complete side note: Why, Netflix? What was okay about suggesting this to a 14-year-old?), and it has stuck with me for years after.

The way that “Spring Breakers” sugarcoats itself in its marketing is almost a microcosm of its themes and storyline. The neon color schemes and promos including former Disney Channel stars Selena Gomez and Vaness Hudgens hide a story of four girls on their spring break consumed by crime, drugs, and murder, and this scene exemplifies that perfectly.

After Gomez’s character Faith gets scared and goes back home, drug and arms dealer Alien (James Franco) takes Brit (Ashley Benson), Candy (Hudgens), and Cotty (Rachel Korine) to a strip club where they meet his rival, fellow drug dealer Big Arch. Alien arms the girls with shotguns and pink ski maks adorned with unicorns (hello, symbolism!), and they gather around the piano next to his pool to listen to him play.

Franco’s character begins to play Spears’ hit “Everytime”, the girls singing along, before Britney’s original version takes over, playing as a montage of the group participating in multiple armed robberies plays out on the screen in slow motion. The juxtaposition of the soft, feminine song with the violent crimes being carried out sums up this entire film in a nutshell; I strongly believe that this scene helps this film earn its title as a masterpiece.

1. Young Blood by The Naked and Famous in Disney’s “Prom” 

Giving the top spot to a movie that most people probably haven’t seen could be seen as a bold move, but I’m telling you, this movie raised me. I have such a vivid memory of seeing it in theaters with my mom when I was only eight years old, dreaming about the day that I’d get to dress up and go to my own prom; pretty crazy that ten years later, I’ll be attending my high school’s prom in a month, and I still think about this movie often.

I identified with Aimee Teegarden’s character Nova Prescott heavily when I was younger, the star student who always wanted to be the best and do the best, quickly turning into the obsessive perfectionist who doesn’t know how to have fun and let go. Thomas McDonnell’s portrayal of Jesse Richter, the bad boy with a soft side who introduces Nova to a whole new world, has always tugged at my heartstrings.

The scene in this movie that has stuck with me for a decade now comes when Nova and Jesse are starting to work together to plan and decorate for prom while also started to develop feelings for each other. Nova is stressed that another school’s theme is too similar to theirs and that they will be upstaged, to which Jesse says, “let’s see how starry their night really is.”

The pair hops onto Jesse’s motorcycle and sets off to visit the rival school. As they take the ride, indie band The Naked and Famous’ song “Young Blood” plays in the background, the upbeat chorus and “yeah yeah yeah”s perfectly framing Nova’s change of heart towards Jesse.

They sneak into the other school to check out their decor, only to be caught by the police and taken home by their parents. Nova’s father snaps at Jesse, and while the girl she was at the beginning of the movie would have agreed with her dad, she doesn’t; in fact, she defends Jesse, and apologizes to him for her parent’s behavior the next day.

In addition to being one of my favorite coming-of-age movie moments, this movie also introduced me to The Naked and Famous and the album that this song is on, “Passive Me, Aggressive You”, which has become one of my favorite records of all time (listen to Girls Like You and Punching in a Dream and you’ll be hooked). As I mentioned earlier, the right soundtrack can make a romantic scene a million times more magical, and that’s exactly what the use of Young Blood does here. 

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

In A Perfect World

Request: Oh dean and reader. He thinks her and Sam are a thing because they always hang out and have inside jokes. He thinks her and him are friends and there’s no feelings what’s so ever. The djinn sends him in world where they’re married and she just finds out she’s pregnant. It ends smutty because he wants a life with her

Request: Hi! Saw that your request are open and I absolutely adore your writing!! I was wondering if you could possibly do a DeanxReader where she is Bobby’s adoptive daughter, grew up around the boys and hunting. And as she grew up she fell in love with Dean, and he fell in love with her but kept it secret, but they don’t realize it until like after one of them dies or after Sam and Dean have to save her from a Djinn? Smut maybe?

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,200ish

Warnings: implied smut, language

A/N: Combined these requests since they went together so well...

“Sam, come on, I owe you one. Whatever you want, my treat,” you said, walking ahead of him, Dean half asleep on the couch.

“Want to go see that horror movie?” asked Sam. You spun around and whacked him. “That thing with Chris Pratt instead?”

“Now you’re talking,” you said, plopping down on the couch, jolting Dean awake. “Where’s my dad?”

“Bobby’s out on a hunt. Back in a few days,” said Dean with a stretch.

“He’s supposed to tell me when he does that,” you said, Sam raiding your fridge for a couple beers, handing one off to you.

“You’re also not a twelve year old kid anymore, Y/N. You don’t have to worry about him so much,” said Dean.

“Yeah, cause the man who cared for me and raised me and is my second father means nothing to me,” you said, hopping up and rolling your eyes. “Besides, we had something important to tell him.”

“We did?” asked Dean, looking between the two of you.

“Well, Sam and I were going to. The moving in thing. I didn’t think he’d have a problem with it but I wanted to tell him before he comes home to find I’ve cleared out,” you said.

“How about we pack up some stuff, Dean can take that back and I’ll hang around with you a few days, drive down in your car with the rest then after you say bye,” said Sam.

“You’re moving in,” said Dean with a slow head nod to himself. “Why do I have to leave right away?”

“You don’t just, ya know, Dean Winchester with a couple days to himself, go do who he wants? Figured you might enjoy the alone time is all. Sam and I will just be packing up the smaller stuff mostly, goofing around,” you said, shrugging at him.

“I can help,” he said. “Unless you’d rather I not.”

“More hands, the faster it gets done.”

 You’d been at the bunker a few weeks, settling into a good rhythm there with the guys. You had a sneaking suspicion Sam asked you to move without talking to Dean about it but neither of them brought it up.

One day you stretched in bed, rolling over and hitting something solid. You didn’t remember bringing anyone home but then again, last night was a blur.

“Morning sunshine,” said a gruff voice that made your eyes fly open. “Somebody’s full of energy today.”

“Dean, what are you doing in here?” you asked, hoping and praying that you didn’t sleep with him, not when you couldn’t remember it.

“I was saying good morning to my smokin’ hot wife. You feel alright? Your face is flush,” he said, feeling your forehead with eyes that seemed to pout. “Take it easy today, you look a little off.”

“Okay?” you asked, squinting at him as he got out of bed, looking around to find you were in Dean’s room, some of your belongings scattered about. “We’re married?”

“Two years next week,” he said with a big smile. “Pancakes or waffles this morning honey?”

“Waffles are fine,” you said, watching him disappear out the door, your mind spinning. This was just weird. I mean, it was everything you ever wanted with Dean and more but you would liked to have remembered how you two got there in the first place. Maybe you hit your head, had some amnesia thing going on. Or you were nuts. That was probably more likely.

You got out of bed, touching and poking everything you could, Dean giving you the stink eye when you finally came into the kitchen.

“You’re weirder than normal today,” said Sam, the same looking but off almost. “Are you guys pregnant?”

“I don’t think so,” said Dean. “Mother Nature was visiting a couple days ago.”

“What’s going on? Am I cursed?” you asked, Sam and Dean shaking their heads at one another. “I’m not married to Dean.”

“I told you your anniversary isn’t next week,” said Sam, receiving a whack from Dean for it.

“Yes it is! Y/N, take a seat, you’re freaking me out,” said Dean. You looked him over, really looked at him and saw the worry was gone from his face, that weight off his shoulders. It was all a little too perfect.

“No, we were on a hunt yesterday and…and…we were on a hunt. It was a…gah, what was it? A ghoul? Or a djin? Yeah that was…” you trailed off, the little picture in front of you starting to crack. Dean told you the story of their first djin case and about fifteen seconds later, you were waking up on the ground, Dean groaning next to you as Sam was freaking out.

“Alright, see Dean? She’s back, you’re both okay,” said Sam, Dean looking how you felt. It’d got the drop on both of you from the looks of it. It was a day later before you were home and Sam could tell how shook up the both of you were. He went to go get your favorite takeout and Dean’s pie from that place on the other side of town, leaving you to yourselves.

“Hey, your bra got stuck in my shirt again,” he said, paddling over to your room to return it. You sighed and he tossed it in a chair before falling down on your bed. “Yeah, I feel crappy too.”

“Want to talk about it?” you asked, Dean raising an eyebrow. “What if we talk about it at the same time, get it off our chests, appease Sammy.”

“Fine,” said Dean, giving you a glance, taking a big breath.

“We were married,” you blurred out, the echo in the room surprising you. “What?”

“We were married. You’d found out that morning that you were pregnant,” he said, keeping his gaze on you. “Did you say we were married too?”

“Yeah. You were just…a cute husband I guess, joking about kids and stuff,” you said.

“This is where one of us should say something like they don’t mean it, right,” said Dean, sitting up and moving closer to you.

“What if we do mean it though,” you said. Dean nodded in agreement before planting a harsh kiss on you.

“The real thing is so much better,” he said, you hand finding the back of his neck, pulling him in for more.

“I want to try this,” you said, brushing your lips over his. He was taking off his shirt then, moving to undress, like if he didn’t touch you this second he’d explode. “I want to try that for sure.”

“Let’s try then, really try,” said Dean, helping to undress until his hands were everywhere, touching everything, pulling small gasps and moans until you were shaking from it, collapsing on top of him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, running a hand up and down your bare back, easing you down from your high.

“We got to get dressed before Sam walks in on us,” you said, Dean tensing up under you. “In a minute though. I want to stay like this for a little while.”

“Good,” said Dean, relaxing and kissing your shoulder. “I’ve been wanting to do this with you for a very long time.”

“Do what?” you asked.

“Everything.”

@anokhi07 @xxwinchester-22xx @charliebradbury1104 @everyday-supernatural-af @squirels-angels-and-moose @youwerelikeadream @drugpug@darkx143 @kristaparadowski @tom-is-in-my-tardis @tanithlowisabamf@smoothdogsgirl @dancingalone21 @ktrivia @demonic-meatball @feelmyroarrrr @cojootromuelle @gallifreyansass @fangirl1802 @casgetoutofmydiddlydarnass@mogaruke @secretlyfurrydragon @perpetualabsurdity @ria132love@heycassbutt-67 @aingealcethlenn @docharleythegeekqueen @missmotherhen@smacklesandstretch67 @ceeceewinchester

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[angelfacehobi]

Unique Questions Tag

Yes... its time again for another ‘get to know the blogger’ post :) Sorry if this is annoying, I just love to do it... 1)Press shuffle on iTunes & Give the first 6 songs that pop up: In Time - The Black Keys Ease - Troye Sivan Glory & Gore - Lorde Que Sera - Hannah Montana Dope - BTS Almost Midnight - Out of the Woods Soundtrack

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? if I can choose someone dead: Jackie Kennedy.. otherwise JHope!!!

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. ‘The Sistine Chapels frescoes’ - 14,000 things to be happy about

4) What do you think about most? Failure & love 

 5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?  Not that I know of

6) Do you have any strange phobias? None that are strange!!

7) What’s your religion? Wicca

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking to the shops

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band/group? BTS 

10) What was the last lie you told? Hmmm... I told someone I wasn't busy so I could come over but really I am busy (but I’m flaking out on that so I can see them so I guess its kind of nice?)

11) Do you believe in karma? Yes

12) What does your URL mean? Jhope has the face of an angel...basically

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? W:My anxiety and lack of motivation S:My devotion & caring nature

14) Who is your celebrity crush? Jhope & Nicki Minaj

15) How do you vent your anger? I don't get angry very easily... and if I do I tend to keep it to myself or rant to a friend

16) Do you have a collection of anything?  Funko Pops and Boardgames

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?  Fairly happy.... not completely yet.

18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of people cracking bones (unless I’m doing it) and I love the sound of thunder storms or the busy road outside my bedroom window

19) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I hadn't gone to that sleepover years ago. (I was at a sleepover when my grandad passed away and I didn't find out till the next morning bc my phone was off)

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes & yes

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Right: wardrobe Left: curtain  (yes my bedroom is very small

22) Smell the air.  Clean skin (I just showered) and fresh air (my window is open)

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? When I went to the Christmas market in Berlin I was sexually harassed so that place has really bad memories for me

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? JHope, Jin & Tae (from BTS) and Wonho (Monster X)

25) To you, what is the meaning of life? Finding happiness

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I don't drive yet but I have been in a car accident  before

27) What was the last movie you saw? I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 just the other day with my friend @highkingnomnom buuut last movie I saw (on they recommendation) was Kingsman!!! ITS AMAZING

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Injury? Head cracked open when I was 6months old 

29) Do you have any obsessions right now? BTS.... thank you again @beth-is-trash

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Not that I know of but... who knows?

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Yes... I’m pretty stubborn but if you come & give me a genuine apology I’ll get over it

32) What is your astrological sign? Virgo

33) What’s the last thing you purchased? Chinese glazed pork for my dinner tonight!

34) Love or lust? Both are good, love is more important to me though (platonic or romantic idrc)

35) In a relationship? Single 

36) How many relationships have you had? 5 

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I’ll let you know when I figure that one out...

38) Where is your best friend? I have 3!!! One is in a different city and the other two are both about half an hour away from me

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Chatting to friends on Tumblr & RIOTING over Portugals win (Eurovision.... Austria/or the Netherlands were ROBBED) 

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yes I have no qualms over owning the fact I’m an amazing friend

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?  Obviously I’m gonna save the dog.

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a. No I wouldn't want to make my last memories of them sad. b. Travel to either Canada or Korea c. No 

43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Cypher 4 by BTS (ITS SUCH A HYPE SONG)

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?  Effort, sacrifice & devotion

45) How can I win your heart? Be kind, funny & considerate 

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? I think it depends on the person... but no one should aspire to insanity for this reason (it shouldn't be romanticised) 

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? To move on... deciding to move on within yourself may seem dumb but it honestly does help you move on faster if you commit yourself to being happy.

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? “i wanted to be cremated you FOOLS!’

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”   The organ

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Purple, yellow & black

51) What is your current desktop picture? JHope.... :/

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Trump tbh

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? This question

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Invisibility

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? I’d go back to when I picked up my stuff from my ex-boyfriends and I wouldn't cry like a fuckinnnn wreck bc looking back now it was so ridiculous... like who cares?

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? I wouldn't want to bc otherwise I wouldn't be who I am now.

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? JHOPE OBVIOUSLY OMGGG

58) You just got two free plane tickets to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go & with who? Korea with @beth-is-trash

59) Ever been on a plane? Yeah! Quite a bit

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Jhope, Chris Pratt, Nicki Minaj, Jin, Taehyung