#extent i havent felt in a while)

[soldier-poet-king]

I'm experiencing existential shrimp emotions and yet still expected to play nice and go to work and it's just. Man. Man. I wanna sit around and think and feel until I reach some sort of tenable equilibrium. Not just crush the intensity under my heel into apathy, or at least the false facade of apathy. I care too deeply! Let me care about every little thing intensely and consumptively! I don't WANT to not be like this.

[latejulys]

someone just commented on my physical appearance UNPROMPTED????

[pollyaunt]

My thoughts on HOFAS

-> First and foremost, only SJM can make me violently react towards books even though it's been years since I've started reading and got into the Maasverse.

-> Ch 99 broke me. Literally. I was downright bawling so hard to the point I couldnt breathe especially with the Danika, Lele and Pack of Devils scene. And ofc, Jesiba. I love you sm.

-> Bryce is an absolute badass and I would agree that her and Hunt's relationship wasnt portrayed the best in this book in comparison to the first, but well, the first also focused on the Kristallos as the danger whereas in this book they were the allies. Suffice to say, the degree of change was ought to happen and supposed to be vast. I'm nonetheless very much happy with how both of them turned out to be in the end.

-> Lidia. She's more Aelin than Aelin herself. In this house, we absolutely ADORE LIDIA CERVOS. And her sons and ofc Ruhn. They carried the book most definitely.

-> The ACOTAR x CC crossover was done immaculately and Maas so not deserves the disappointment shes receiving over it especially because be for fuckin real, it had to be more about CC than ACOTAR itself. And I'm honestly very happy with how she portrayed those scenes while remaining true to the characters (besides the bonus chapter which was kinda meh)

-> Tharion Ketos most certainly made decisions that were not the best but dude, you've got to recognise that he was the most selfless one in the entire book all the while trying to keep himself alive. His determination and ambition were honourable. And ps: I havent forgotten how open ended his story has been left especially with Sathia gone abruptly (whom I LOVED) and I think it's kinda pointing at how he and Ithan might get their own novella or book after the next ACOTAR.

-> Last but not the least, Ithan. That dude was trying to the best always yall and lets be honest without him, I highly doubt they'd been able to 1. Get out of the Viper Queen's lair. 2. Been able to defeat the Asteri without that bullet. And they way Maas has left his story along with Ketos' incomplete for now has surely not escaped my notice. After all, we still gotta know what happened to Sigrid really and Sathia 👀

In conclusion, the two things that felt off to me throughout the book was:

-> Firstly, how the Quinlar relationship was written in certain scenes but also, to an extent I also sympathized with both of them given the extent of trauma both of them had been through. It was understandable but comforting myself with the thought that once stuff on Midgard got better, both of them must've discussed it at length cuz, that's what our Quinlar is really. So, I'm not that unhappy with their portrayal and love them equally.

-> Secondly, this one has bugged me a lot in the series: the wasted potential that was Fury Axtar. She could've been SUCH a vital asset to them and all over, one of the most badass character. But instead of explaining and exploring her, SJM made quite a mistake by off writing her mostly from the books. That could've been done better.

[devmimi]

— SHANKS X YOU

includes ;; fingering (r) , shanks mean af , afab reader but can be gn !! , mimis fav has pink eyes so therefore i lose my marbles , I LOVE MAN TITS!!!!!

shanks' rough hands rubbed the gentlest circles into your plush skin, pushing and groping the area while you continued blabbering about the seas and your situation. shanks' eyes kept on your chest and only looked up when he heard you whine. just at your pouty lips before back at your chest. he didn't care what you had to say. well, of course he cared. to some extent. he was your loving boyfriend after all. he cared that you weren't upset by something, he cared about your love for the crew, and he certainly cared about your health. though right now all that caring was on staring down your shirt. also, wether you were wearing lipgloss. that was also a very big concern of shanks right now.

finally after two minutes of trying to get his attention you snapped out, "stop that shit!" and went to smack him. before shanks caught it and glared at you. "feisty?" he commented, before his eyes went back down and he snickered at how your tits bounced with the force. you let out a huff, shaking your head. he let out an immature 'oooo' seeing that. "you don't like me anymore, huh?" he let go of your wrist, coming close and digging his face into your neck just to bite and nip at you.

"animal." you whispered, though when shanks ears picked it up he took to the name very well. his arm wrapped around you, though the giant black coat made you feel like a void had just swallowed you up. his towering figure didn't help, either. his bites turned worse and left more permanent marks on you. making soft growling sounds against your ear, snarling and biting at any part of you he could. with the whole crew asleep he slapped his hand over your mouth when you started to yell at him for the behavior. shushing you, his hot breath making your cheeks and ear flush. you leaned forward to bite his hand but before your teeth clamped down he jerked away. you hissed out, the pain sending shivers in your jaw. you opened it again to scold and shanks took the position to shove his fingers inside your mouth and keep it open.

"come on, let's be civil now. we aren't heathens. we don't need to bitch and cry to get our way. we're pirates, not cavemen." he whispered to you. his eyes as calm as ever, tilting to the side to be in your face. it felt humiliating to be talked down like this with no way to snap back. your face just heated up like a sauna, you could almost feel steam shooting out your ears the more he spoke. "do you want to be treated like a savage beast? huh? i can show you a reason to scream like that."

shanks unnatural tone made you shiver and nod, which brought shanks' smile back. his fingers ran along your tongue, then pulled out. you were stunned, but as shanks felt how turned on you were between your legs. he was at least happily you were wet enough to invite his fingers in with no problem. in and out, a quick starting rhythm inside of you while you were still reeling from the harsh tone shanks took.

shanks snickered seeing that look in your eyes, after a bit when you still havent came back to earth he replaced his fingers with his dick. hips being much softer on you than his wrist. to compensate for the upgraded size. the feeling snapped you back, though still shaken up. shanks snickered at your expression, leaning down to kiss you.

"something the matter? was it something i said?" he kissed you again, leaning forward until your back met with the cold desk. your legs went up, hanging over his shoulders. it hurt some to keep the pose, stretching out to reach. his hips quickened, slamming in and out of you so the desk shook. showing off just made shanks' pride skyrocket and further wanting to stroke his own ego. every rut was harsher than the last. at some you even gagged, and shanks took it as a compliment.

"oh, let's just do it. why the hell not?" shanks' vague words left you confused, but as your body heated up with him inside you the questions were answered. you whined feeling him pull out with the sticky string attaching you two. he sniffled a laugh and shook his head. "damn, more?" right back in he went. the two of you were drunk off of each other the entire night, seeping into the morning as well. at least you two didn't hit land or another ship while the both of you slept the day away. when you woke up shanks was still in you, but you didn't mind. you warmed each other up.

[saltynsassy31]

no cus i totally understand your frustration, ive also quit splatfests for the moment until they get an overhaul

i suggest if you feel close to getting hateful to either shiver or shiver fans then maybe quit for a while for your own sake cus ive felt a lot better after doing so, im still really sensitive to negative comments towards frye or rude ones about shiver winning but taking some time for myself has made me feel infinitely better

ive been close to hating shiver before bc of how cocky and rude them and their fans can be but it doesnt really do anything but sour your enjoyment of the game more, so its really not worth it

i do have to say though, anyone who says "its just a game" reaaally needs to understand the frustration of people OTHER than them, sympathy is something a lot of people forget about when it comes to things that arent real life. just because it doesnt affect you doesnt mean everyone can shut off their attachment to the game or a character like a light switch; a lot of the time you dont know whats going on with them. i myself am really attached to frye cus i am hashtag autism creature and he brings me comfort, so anyone being rude to me about shiver winning really REALLY gets under my skin. its not entirely (if they were serious, if they werent then its not at all) their fault, but nintendo fixing the frustration of splatfests constantly keeling in one direction (which theyre supposed to do anyways but they havent) would definitely fix the issue. we need to find a way to have nintendo fix this, not attack anyone else for what bundle of pixels and text theyre attached to.

not everyone has really thick skin and if we want splatoon 3 to be more hospitable then we should try to cut down on the general splatfest bullassery in public spaces (being overly cocky and rude/blaming others in a way with no basis or truth behind it). its not something everyone can always do since we arent all perfect, but if we make steps in that direction then we could help more people enjoy the splatoon community rather than being eaten up by toxicity and spite

i didnt word all of this entirely correctly so like interpret ad best as you can cus im eepy but yeah.

a fye for u to enjoy (also ur anon is off btw)

u dont have to but for the sake of not being harrassed id appreciate if u didnt tag with public tags

👏👏 PREACH

I don't want to quit playing it, I do enjoy splatfests, to a certain extent, i like going with my friends and i made a lot of new friends through it, it's like, the online community that I'm having a problem with

I don't hate shiver, I thought I did but I can't, she is still a comfort character (tho Frye is like, my obsession besides being my comfort character cuz I am also part part the 'tism XD), in a way, I like her dynamic with the group at least, she annoys me, yes, very much so, but I don't hate her

And I don't hate people who like her either

Who I do hate is people being mean about it, I had turned off anon cuz of a stupid person who was going around every frye support account anonymously just saying mean stuff and praising shiver as the best, I just forgot to turn it on, so thanks for reminding me 😅

Saying that "It's just a game" is so annoying to, tell that to the football fans, they go just as crazy if not more so

Splatfests are ment to be fun! You should be able to enjoy the splatfest without having to worry about people fighting

I don't like fighting with people, I hate how angry I become, how mean I can sound sometimes, I usually just vent without interacting

At least she won in Japan, so that is one other win under her belt, I just wish she'd win more in the future 😔

Oh also I almost didn't participate in this splatfest either and I did only because I haven't had time to play and I haven't finished my catalogue yet 😅 I usually use splatfests to up my catalogue quicker lmao

Also, don't worry, I won't tag anything that could get you harassed, if anything does happen, please block for your health, I don't want anything happening to you, you seem very sweet ;w;

Edit: also YOUR FRYE PLUSH IS SO CUTE! I've been seeing people get her but idk where to buy her!!!! Where'd you get it? :0

[lesbianmarrow]

Hi! I saw on an ask you sent someone that you're currently reading Fraction's run on IIM, and enjoying the treatment of female characters. Thought you should probably know (as in, a trigger warning) that, during the 'World's Most Wanted' arc, Pepper and Tony have sex in a very dubcon (at best) way. It's probably not meant to be read as such, but it's hard not to. Tony barely remembers who he is and Pepper explicitly mentions enjoying how vulnerable he was. They then use this as a basis for a love triangle between Pepper, Tony, and Maria Hill. It's a gross situation and everyone felt wildly out of character, it became pretty infamous in Iron Man circles (even movie ones, as people used it to bash Pepper). I'm actually quite surprised it's apparently not well known thought other parts of the fandom, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. :/

oh i actually just read that storyline today! though i appreciate the warning. i actually didn't interpret it as a situation where tony was unable to give consent, although i can see how one might read it that way. to me it just seemed like pepper and tony both feeling very stressed and hopeless and taking comfort in each other while they can. i didn't get the sense that pepper had violated tony in any way, and i don't think fraction intends for it to read as such. i'm actually a bit wary of the idea that tony's memory loss here means that he is unable to consent - it seems potentially ableist to me. like, if an adult has brain damage and memory issues, does that necessarily mean they can't consent to sex? ever? that doesn't seem right to me. tony in this moment seems aware enough of his identity and his relationship to pepper that i feel okay about him and pepper choosing to have sex here.

your love triangle comment is also interesting to me because that's definitely not how i would have phrased the situation between tony & pepper & maria, although it is technically accurate (though i should note i only read up to issue 19 and may or may not read further). i think fraction does a great job making maria and pepper feel like their own characters with hopes and fears and internal conflicts completely separate from tony. it never feels like theyre just there to be his love interests. and the focus is never on "oooh which one of them will tony choose? which one of them will he sleep with?" it's much more that they are the two women tony trusts and respects most, and yes he has an attraction with both of them, but that's extremely off to the side and not the point right now, they have a billion other things to worry about that are more urgent. like, the extent to which those romantic relationships are not the point right now kind of is the point. maria does say rude and disrespectful things to pepper but i didnt find that to be out of character or misogynistic writing, i think it's just that she was having a really really bad day and she felt embarrassed to have to be rescued by pepper. i'm generally not a fan of "male character has 2 women who are in love with him at the same time! and they don't get along!" stories but i think fraction cares enough about the interiority of these women that it works, at least for me.

i havent read much iron man so i can't say if tony or pepper are out of character but i definitely thought maria was in character. up until this point she's largely been written by bendis and i thought fraction got into her head in a really excellent way that made her into a more fully realized character. i loved all the stuff with her and black widow. and i guess i just have a weakness for a female character who is so loyal and determined to accomplish her mission but she is just having the worst time and getting her ass kicked physically and emotionally. and i should add, what i read of pepper in this series made me really like her as well! i'd potentially be interested in reading more comics she plays a significant role in. she's wonderful.

anyway lol i hope you dont mind the long response, i just thought you brought up some intriguing points and i appreciated the opportunity to lay down some thoughts on these comics that i read today!

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

it just hit me that my early 20s put down, i suppose, of "why would anyone bother dating me when im the least interesting person ever???? because i have no social life and no friends to invite me out to be interesting and funny????" really fucked me up.

like yeah, dgmw, it does absolutely suck that i didn't get invited out to parties and bar nights and concerts etc by friends/acquaintances basically at all in my early 20s, and one of the very few times that i was, it fell through and i never got invited out again..... but that didn't mean that someone else wouldn't have found me interesting and worth inviting out somewhere. it didn't mean that every single person ever would find me so painstakingly boring, mundane, lame and i guess unmanageable and unworthy of their time; that it just wasn't worth even trying.

obviously most of the "i have to be interesting for someone to date" bs probably came from my obsession in high school with himym, most particularly with my intense fixation on none other than barney stinson and his playbook shenanigans (i actually bought the playbook in 2010 and havent looked at it since lmao), and his bro-code bullshit for the show. and i guess to some extent it's also something to do with ted as well. i guess it also again comes from sex and the city as well. moreover, the funny date stories that i read in cosmo mag also made me feel like i had to be interesting. finally, it's probably attached to me watching far too many stand-up comedians (mainly women, but also some men), who always have bits about shitty dating app convos and shitty date experiences or behaviours in relationships that are hilarious.

i guess it was also part of my "im not other girls" bullshit i was on throughout high school.... and also in my early 20s- although i was slowly growing out of this stance by then, in the hope that i'd eventually make friends at uni if i was a little less judgemental and pretentious.

just anyway. idek where im going with this. i suppose it's a warning to my younger followers, if i have any, that for the love of god. you don't have to be interesting- whatever the fuck that actually means- for someone to date you. just date. get out there. bc if you focus so entirely on being "interesting", you'll get to your late 20s and realise that you've blocked out so many experiences and situations, all because you were so fucking concerned about "will this person find me interesting??? god i hope they will, so that im not boring and lame." I missed so many opportunities for growth all because I was paranoid about being interesting and trying to spin everything to be witty and engaging, instead of leaning into being just a bit ordinary and boring.

because if someone is nice enough, they obviously will be genuinely interested in you and your life. no matter how boring/normal/mundane etc you think you may be, someone will notice your other qualities and match your so-called mundaneness, but they'll make you feel special in midst of it all. fuck being interesting and mysterious and whatever other bullshit i thought i had to be in order to date anyone at all.

embrace your ordinariness, to an extent. because being so absorbed in trying to be interesting is, very ironically, incredibly tiresome and uneventful. it will make you feel rather empty and dulled inside: instead of being filled with tangible life experiences that you can share with someone and also learn from. all because you got to be seen and heard by someone despite how plain and unremarkable you may have felt. bc that's what i missed out on while being so attached to being interesting and entertaining in my early 20s.

[nerves-nebula]

just wanted to let you know that your AU made me realize the extent of my neglected childhood and all that eldest son stuff sooo...

anyways! May just be me projecting but, does your Raph have a fear of crying in general, but especially Infront of Mikey and Donnie, because he's supposed to be strong and protect them and soak everything up so they don't get hurt and so he can't let them see he's 'weak'?

anyways, have a good day, i love your AU, and take care of yourself!!

something like that, yeah. i dont think he REALIZES he has a fear of crying, i think he just.. can't really cry. for a really long time. and when he can/does cry it's confusing and scary for him.

Splinter has deemed him The Strong One. Raph considered himself more of a machine/warrior meant to protect his brothers than a REAL PERSON for a while.

i think if his brothers saw him cry (before they do all the talking and healing and stuff) he'd start to panic cause, yeah, he's not supposed to be wEAK. cause if he's weak that means he cant take care of his brothers, and it means he's vulnerable.

i havent made this yet, but i have plans for a comic explaining that Raph really didn't want to introduce his brothers to Casey. He feels... weaker, less on edge around Casey, and he didn't want his brothers to come in and ruin that. He also felt like he had to share everything with his brothers ALL the TIME and he just wanted this ONE PERSON to himself. But Casey wanted to meet his brothers, so Raph kind of had a fit about it and then some cute shit happened fasfdsd. don't worry about it I'll get to it eventually.

[alivehouse]

(While sending this ask I've accidentally found out what cool wallpapers (literally) you have on your desktop blog theme.)

Well, good day, my dearest horror podcast Virgil,

I, surprisingly to myself, actually finished "I am in Eskew" and enjoyed it quite a bit (which, I guess, could have been deduced by how much I spammed in the tag) even more surprisingly, considering I'm absolutely not a horror person - I substitute horror movies with their wikipedia retellings. Unironically.

Anyway, firstly, thank you! I definitely would have never discovered it without your recommendations!

Secondly, maybe you have something else like that stashed up your sleeve? I definitely need some time to recuperate, but I would like to explore more cool podcasts. (The only two limitations: short-ish - not much longer than this one, the view of a hundred+ episodes scares me; not gorier than this one/no actual jump scares - again, I'm a scardicat.) I remember you talking about "Mabel Podcast" and at the first glance it seems neat, but I'd like to hear your comments on it first.

Thanks in advance. :)

(thank you! its a william morris thing i edited a little lol) glad you liked eskew! its been fun seeing your thoughts on it popping up in the tag, not spammy at all.

i do want to mention that the creator of eskew also has another podcast called The Silt Verses, personally i havent listened to it for weird brain reasons so not sure how well it fits your criteria but ive heard its also very good

mabel podcast is another favorite! the creators of mabel and the creator of i am in eskew were both inspired by shirley jackson's the haunting of hill house to an extent iirc, so even though the stories are very different some elements of them have a similar 'feel' to them imo. i will say that mabel is very different stylistically though (especially the earlier episodes) which in my experience people seem to either love or hate. whereas in eskew you get a pretty continuous narration from david or riyo, in mabel youre mostly listening in on a series of somewhat disjointed voicemail messages. id definitely recommend at least giving the first few episodes a go, dont get discouraged if you dont feel like you dont understand whats happening right away. all you really need to know about the story going in is that youre following Anna, whos a live-in carer for an old woman named Sally. Anna is trying to contact Sallys next of kin (the titular Mabel), but shes strangely out of reach.

ok i know you said youre not a huge horror person but if you ever are feeling a little more daring id suggest trying out The White Vault. theres a small amount of gore (descriptions of finding hearts and teeth) and some uh. wet ripping sounds in it but its really not that bad all things considered, just know that it is straight horror though. its a found footage podcast that follows a group of people whove been hired to check out a remote outpost in northern norway thats gone dead, but a storm leaves them stranded there, and as time goes on it becomes clear that they arent exactly alone. this ones a little longer i think, but tbh ive only listened to the first two seasons, it felt like a natural place for the story to end to me

and then on the complete opposite side of the spooky podcast spectrum, if you want something thats a ghost story but really not horror at all imo, i just finished listening to Midnight Radio a few weeks back. this ones *really* short, like 10 episodes that are ~20 minutes each short, so its definitely lower commitment. in this one youre listening in on a radio show hosted by Sibyl, who died decades earlier but can still be heard waxing poetic about her hometown in the dead of night.

ok LAST ONE havent finished it so wasnt sure if i should rec it but a lot of people on my dash hype up Archive 81 so i thought id mention it at least. guy is hired to listen through a bunch of creepy tapes in some archive out in the middle of no where. classic horror podcast stuff. similar to eskew in that it pivots from mostly being mostly anthology into an overarching plot as you go on

[iridawn]

damn shes using this blog for lore dumps????

somethings ive touched upon only really briefly in my stories/the iridescent bonds continuity, but i havent had the full extent to explore (and likely won't EVER) is dawn's prior relationship, the one with hilda, the protag from gen 5.

while it isnt ever really important, it does kind of influence why she feels in certain ways during iridescent bonds. and, of course, being the Fool i am, ive already got a full idea of what that was like, and all that jazz. ive never really had an excuse to bring it up, and i dont think i ever will. which is fine, although i am a bit sad that character info won't really have a use

...so, here it is, if one is truly interested

Dawn and Hilda met at a Champion Summit about 1 year after Dawn became Champion, where she too was a somewhat fresh addition to the League. Dawn was about 16 or so, give or take, and Hilda was around 16-17 as well.

The two hit it off pretty well, as they were both pretty similar in a lot of ways. Both enjoyed battling a lot, both had dealt with a lot, and they had a few common interests, as well. Dawn appreciated how good she was, as well. They seemed to hit it off pretty well, so they exchanged contact info after the event, keeping up with one another as the months went by. Dawn was glad to make a new friend.

But, of course, those feelings turned into something a little more. She knew Hilda wasn't straight, so she mustered up her courage, and after a few months of them talking and maybe-sorta flirting, she asked Hilda out.

And she said yes!

A long distance relationship, sure, but the Pokemon world's a lot easier for that, so they found lots of time to visit one another, making trips to Unova or Sinnoh. For a while, things seemed great, and they were getting along well, and all that, for about a year of so.

...But Dawn felt like something was missing in it.

Not that Hilda was a bad girlfriend or anything, or that Dawn was a bad girlfriend - literally the farthest thing from. But, despite how close they had gotten, things still felt... distant, and they only seemed to grow moreso as time went on. Not that they were neglecting eachother or not showing care for the other, but just that things felt... off.

Hilda seemed like she always had something else on her mind, and while Dawn didn't mind, it worried her to an extent. Dawn, as well, felt as if she wasn't doing enough. But neither of them had been in a relationship before, so it makes sense things would be awkward.

It was about a year when Dawn brought this up to Hilda, being somewhat concerned about what was going on. "What are we," that kind of thing.

...And they were both honest with themselves - things weren't working out super hot.

Hilda was always busy, looking into leads to finding her best friend, N. He had disappeared years ago, and Hilda was desperate to find him again. Dawn respected this, of course, but it still felt unfortunate.

Dawn was often busy as well, training and practising for what it took to be a League champ, as she was very dedicated to being the best and keeping that title (especially after a rocky performance at the first Summit...), and while Hilda was doing this as well, Dawn's schedule often clashed with her own, which she seemed a little upset by.

Neither of them was in the wrong more than the other - they were both making mistakes. But this was okay, right?

"We can work things out, can't we?"

"...We could, but I need to be honest with myself."

Hilda needed to find N.

She loved Dawn, truly. And she didn't regret a single second of being with her. But, and she'd never say this to Dawn, N was who she was really longing for. He was her best friend, but he was also someone she deeply loved.

Hilda felt awful for it, but her relationship with Dawn felt like it was simply filling that hole in her heart for her, and that she wasn't really feeling it as much as she should. Dawn deserved better than something being meant to fill the gap.

She didn't say this to Dawn, but just stated that N was someone she needed to find. And, that, she was going to travel the world to find him. Dawn could follow if she wanted, but she figured that wouldn't be what she wanted.

Dawn, similarly not wanting to say it saying it, felt as if she had flung herself into this because she was lonely.

She's 16, going through hormones, and was touch starved. You make some rash decisions on romance when you do, it happens!

She also loved Hilda, but as time went on, it was clear it was just the both of them getting together to fill blank spaces in their hearts, and that things weren't working out as smooth as they could.

So, on good terms, they split apart. They both greatly appreciated eachother, and they were both grateful to leave on mutual terms. No bad blood, no bridges burned - they just realized that things weren't working out 100%.

And with Hilda taking her leave to go seek N out, Dawn was left alone once more.

And she felt awful about it.

Flinging herself into a relationship just to feel something, just because she was feeling lonely? Just because she couldn't control how bizarre the emotion of love felt? Dawn felt utterly ridiculous, and she didn't want to do something like this ever again. She was still lonely, but she had to be much more stern about it to herself. She had to put her foot down.

But the pain was still there. The pain that she messed things up, the pain that she felt like, in some capacity, that she had hurt Hilda. What could she have done differently? Would it even be a good idea? How did she know she wasn't going to just do this again the first second she got?

But she still wanted that affection, that closeness with someone. If she was this desperate for it, then would she ever find it in a meaningful way, or would her stupid, ridiculous brain force her to just fling herself into the first chance she got? (This is how she was thinking about it, fwiw)

Dawn beat herself up a lot after this. Lucas, being her best friend, comforted her a lot during these times, as did her mother. And it did help, really. But that fear of having this happen again, of fucking up her chances to find love by just flinging herself into the first relationship she found, really stung.

This, to her, felt like a wakeup call that she had to be more reserved with this kind of thing. She couldn't do this again - she didn't want to.

...Of course, a couple of months later (let's say half a year), Dawn gets flung into Hisui...

So it all works out!

(Basically, her last relationship left her with a lot of worries and fears, because of it basically being a fling. She needed to be way more reserved, to be more careful. Even when her heart yearned, she had to be smarter about it. She didn't want to hurt others, and she certainly didn't want to hurt herself.)

Hope this all didn't seem too mean! I love Hilda, but I just think this is an interesting idea, so this is what's stewed in my brainmind for almost a full dang year.

[fecesmachine]

Antipathy Pt 1.

Hai hello hai

sorry if this is too short my first time writing this type of stuff, more coming soon this is just to establish and flesh out y/n

Wednesday Addams x Male reader

TW: Foul language? Slight Angst...

Antipathy: A deep-seated feeling of dislike; aversion.

Ruben had always been on the fence about sending you here, and you weren't very eager to go here either, you were fine at regular school… yeah most people would baby you like you had retardism or something. always speaking to you like you were some fragile being, like you could burst into tears if they had said something wrong or in the wrong tone of voice

It made you cringe, and it made you angry.

But other than that you were fine. News about what your mother did spread quickly throughout your town, everyone was shocked when they heard about it, and everyone had felt pity towards You…

it sucked. You hated it… You hated the attention, You hated the over display of pity, you hated the pity...

You were genuinely surprised when you heard the news. You had just got back to your house, sweaty from riding your bike around your town and from the massive heat wave it was getting. you had just put your bike away in your garage.

exhausted and with a mighty thirst you walk to the kitchen for a glass of water after you fill the cup up you turn around to head to your room when you suddenly see Ruben sitting down near the counter. "We need to talk y/n" you had gotten a bit worried, Ruben had always had positive tone in his voice but this time he had sounded serious. "okay… what's up" Ruben paused for a minute and then sighed...

“I'm sending you to nevermore y/n…"

you paused for a second "What? wait, wait, wait, why? I'm fine here". You said back.

"y/n…" Ruben said while looking at you with pursed lips, "Really I am!" you said while putting on a fake, awkward smile…

"Y/n I know you… cmon, itll be good for you, you can finally meet some friends and people who you relate to…” you look at him with a confused expression as he was finishing his sentence.

"Somewhere where you can finally fit in…" Ruben said.

"Wait... Is that all your doing this for? to help me "fit in" somewhere? Im perfectly fine with not "fitting in" anywhere, Ruben" You chuckled a bit... at the stupidity of Rubens reasoning.

"Well no, not just to fit in y/n... im worried man... about your abilities… they can hurt people if your not careful, I was thinking Nevermore can help you control them and your emotions…" Ruben said this all a bit hesitantly.

Your not a cocky person, your humble and dont make a big deal out of your achievements and whatnot... but Ruben knows one thing you do take alot of pride in... Your abilities, youve always seen yourself as a master at controlling them, your mom always told you to be proud of them, so proud you are... and you take controlling them very seriously.

"oh my god..." you said a bit frustrated...

"what so now you dont trust me? you think ill hurt somebody? ive told you 800 goddamn times I can control them Ruben" You were actually starting to get upset.

Your talents and skills over your abilities are being questioned and you were seriously getting offended.

"I know youve been dealing with bullies… im just worried they would cross a certain line and you would snap" Ruben said with a calm voice.

There was a sudden, awkward silence that filled the room.

"Who told you?" You said in a sudden shift in tone...

Ruben stayed silent and just looked at you, you started to understand now…

"oh, oh you son of a bitch"

Ruben was about to say something when you cut him off.

"Youve been watching me havent you?" You never liked Ruben stalking you.

he would only do it to make sure you were safe but it felt degrading to you... Having to be watched at all times, like you were some toddler... you had always enjoyed his company (to an extent) but when you just wanted to be alone, it was annoying…

After some time of you constantly spotting and pointing him out...you asked him to stop and he made a promise that he would…

It was strange... how could you have not noticed him? You always do, why haven’t you noticed him now?

"for how long, Ruben?" you said with an angry, sharp tone... you were just so angry that you cant have a few moments of peace without being chaperoned by someone.

"Just recently, for some reason I just got so worried about you y/n..." his still surprisingly calm and soothing voice actually calmed you down for a second...then made you angrier and hate his voice even more now. How hes able to effortessly mangle, mix and switch your feelings around, and just with his voice... that annoying, cheerful, familiar voice... you wanted to get away from him, you didnt want to hear Rubens voice... you didnt want to see him.

"You made a promise Ruben..." You exclaimed

"I know, I know, I just wanted to keep you safe" Ruben said frustrated

Silence filled the room…

you suddenly shifted your entire body and stormed off to your room without saying another word…

You were gonna go to nevermore... If it meant getting away from Ruben, you were sick and tired of him, you gave him so many chances…

For the first time in a very long time.

you truly wanted to stay away from Ruben…

[shriekshrike]

oka okay okay so we have 2 weeks to ruminate right but all EYE will be doing is praying to whatever listens to dykes pray that the bells r gonna rip shit bc these fuckers r BRUTAL

mostly thinkin abt my witches n orym bc I'm Like That

witches bc cmon. imogen already didnt rlly like dusk bc of a lil green eyed monster ('are you staring because you're jealous?') and laudna because. god. ok ive had this happen to me not quite to this extent but found out that a person who like. is so. wonderful to u. is also. not. Great. and a liar and manipulator. so ure stuck in that awful limbo of nothing they say can be trusted....what does that mean for me. o u c h. also bonus: imogen is gonna wreck shit bc laudna's involved as are her feelings so uh. *tugs on collar* y i k e s dusk. also! wouldnt be surprised if imogen feels a bit responsible bc she didnt say anything to anyone when she figured it out. hmmmmm delicious (edit 9.09 AM: i realized that i wrote laudna instead of dusk when i said imogen already doesn't like [BLANK] didnt mean that, imogen wuvs laudna anyway)

orym. bc he - and there is literal proof of this - has lost. a lot and he gets attached quick and tightly. like there r times in exu and in cr3 where we get to c orym b SUPER playful and it is truly a delish opp BUT one of the first times we...rlly see him get Real Playful (and this is a reach, but im leaning across the table, but i'll bet actual money that the spar w dusk? was the same way he would blow off steam and play w will food for thought 🥹) is when he spars with dusk!! he even says it 'i havent gotten to let loose like that in a while!' and then when dusk (in the process of being rejected which did have me ahootin n ahollerin simply for the context) says 'u wanna talk abt it?' and orym goes "raincheck" like. yoinks. orym only talked abt will once with chet and it was on watch w no one awake (also worth noting: orym is so severely and fiercely protective of the ppl who r his esp in light of what his job was and how he lost will like....dusk....whomever u r...ur ass is grass and not in a fun way)

fearne. my beloved. my darling. who felt so not alone. who said 'we are practically siblings' who trusted dusk beyond a shadow of a doubt. and dusk who made fearne feel not so alone in all this. who lended juuuuust enough comfort and familiarity for fearne to latch onto, the girl who lived her whole life without her parents, missing them like a mirage, more memory than reality. the girl who saw a woman with the same face, the same eyes and hair and legs. the girl who said '90 years' when her mother said '6 years'. the girl who watches, in horror, as the person she'd come to care for as a SIBLING as someone who UNDERSTOOD HER, transform before her eyes, grab her mother and her arms, whose mother says, horrified and scared 'you led them straight to us' and fearne says back 'i'm sorry but who?'

anyway maybe ill also do the rest of the party bc i have Thoughts abt chet n ash n fcg but for rn....im schleepy

[thatbitchsimone]

I also love Angelica and think she's so great - there's another video on her youtube where she says people should only lose their virginity in their 20's - what do you think about this? I agree with her sentiment to an extent and I do think as a woman I was put into many situations that make me feel used now and I am sure this can negatively affect men as well.. I just kind of felt ashamed/worried after watching the video because she said that having sex very young can negatively set you up for life and I agree to an extent but I think there's more nuance to it than a 20 minute youtube video can express.. And also I think the problem more with me is I didn't know to express my boundaries or communicate and people took advantage of that sometimes.. and just how women are socialised etc etc

i was just gonna watch that video but it looks like shes deleted all of those videos (which sucks ass bc she had an amazing video about the tumblr nymphet community and its parallels to nambla and how it has negatively affected us that got seduced by that little subculture back in the mid 2010s) so unfortunately i cant answer this properly bc i dont have the full context and i dont have her arguments etc but i can still give some of my immidiate thoughts on it so here we go

i think losing ur virginity/wait with sex until ur in ur 20s is probably ideal tbh and i would absolutely encourage it for anyone who is in their teens rn and havent had their sexual debut yet. main reason being that u will be old enough to understand sex and its risks and effects and u will have had time to figure ur own body out more and u will most likely have at the very least basic level emotional intelligence and maturity that is required to have safe and healthy and enjoyable sex. like u have just finished puberty and just left teenagehood behind which is a messy and confusing and rough lifestage for all of us and ur now entering adulthood and have gained some perspective etc and u are way more in tune with urself (at the very least compared to when u were a teen) and both ur body and brain will be developed enough to be able to handle sex and have a realistic attitude around it and while ofc u can still be manipulated and u may still be somewhat naive it wont be anywhere near AS easy to manipulate u as it would have been earlier bc thats just how it is. u might still be vulnerable maybe sure but if ur vulnerable now u were even MORE vulnerable when u were a teen. its just how it is. thats how growing up works. u will probably have a way easier and more enjoyable sexual debut in ur 20s bc u will have a headstart in so many ways both physically and emotionally.

BUT im not gonna pretend like its that black and white and simple. Many girls (and boys but im focusing on women here) have perfectly normal and healthy sexual encounters when they are teenagers and i rly dont believe that sex will just automatically traumatize and harm u when ur a teen bc lets be real here, the key here is that u explore sex with UR PEERS, boys and girls within ur own age group, NOT ppl that are 20+ when u are like 14-16. when ur a high schooler and u want to explore sex u do it with other high schoolers. ppl ur own age. I think its perfectly fine and normal to have sex when ur a teen, but that is assuming u are having sex with other teens. NOT ppl that are like 5 years older than u. thats when actual impactful long lasting harm becomes highly likely. feeling like u got used and heartbroken by a boy in ur school aka a boy that is ur peer and ur own age will hurt and suck and will leave an impact on u but its a very different impact than the one u will be left with if u felt taken advantaged of by someone much older (not a teen). the dynamics are whats important here i think.

sex and relationships are messy and yes u can always get fucked up from it thats just how it is. u cant avoid it. u just need to be able to handle it and maybe ur not ready to handle it until ur like 25, thats fine. dont do it then. like if u dont think ur ready, just wait until u are. if ur like 15 and feel ready then go ahead but STICK TO PPL UR OWN AGE when ur that young. u gotta be equals. period.

[sparring-spirals]

Apologies if you have already answered this, but what do you think about fcg so far? Especially after last episode. I’ve been seeing mixed reactions to it and some are just not vibing with fcg and to a extent Sam. Some saying “not surprising” and “boring”. What do you personally think? Again, sorry if you have answered this before.

Hmmm.

I like FCG! What we've gotten of him has been fun, and some of it quite crunchy. I do think I havent really hit the point yet where something has clicked for me, something inherent and specific to how the character is built and the narrative that's unfolding out before him, coming together in a dovetail.

I'm making broad assumptions here and could be wrong, but I think part of some of the disappointment and people being let down has less to do with what F.C.G is so far and more to do with the sensation of what could be, and what could have been. A robot with unknown origins, meant to be good at helping others with their emotions but still, inherently, made of numbers and metal and magic. I think the Murderbot twist was fun! But its present enough in "robot that lost their memories" narratives that I can see folks who were expecting Subversion™ to feel a little let down. Which. I can understand.

I think this post by @redjennies does a really nice job of phrasing some of my thoughts on it. F.C.G is a robot, but his conduct so far has been so undeniably human that I haven't really been as drawn in by the questions of "Am I actually a person? Do I deserve to be treated as one?" because while the questions of self worth and humanity have been present and nicely acted, it hasn't felt unique to F.C.G specifically in a way that yanks me in.

That said, I'm not too worried about it. Just because I'm not actively clicking with a character yet doesn't mean I never will (Fjord, my beloved), and I think Sam is very proficient at taking existing tropes and subverting them within his characters. (That might be part of the issue, actually? That its kind of expected, and so far F.C.G has not precisely subverted anything yet). And even if none of that manifests, I'm having fun with F.C.G at face value and I do like elements of their story and character already. It'll be fine :P

[sadieanimalcrossing]

i feel like its finally time to do this.

after she denied my venmo request today, i am finally ready to discuss what happened between me and gemma. i will include proof to the extent that i am able and will update frequently when i can find a way to get photos of my weirdly hacked (seriously) island.

gemma and i were really close, which is probably why this has ended in so much chaos. we met irl a few times during meetups for witches. despite not seeing each other in person frequently, we were constantly meeting up in our new horizons islands. this is where we formed most of our friendships

the point is, since we are both witches, it gets crazier from here.

tldr: my close friend turned on me and took revenge in a really weird way and i have been begging for compensation, which has not come.

so our friendship started in 2021, last year, in the summer time probably in june. we were both interested in witchcraft and would frequently discuss spells we've worked and actually working on some together for a while. like i said we got close.

for reasons i don't feel need to be disclosed we started having a usual friendship falling out starting at the beginning of october. i noticed some weird vibes coming off of her the more we chatted and the last time we met up in person was when things got extremely dicey. we had an argument about stupid stuff and i left way later than planned, which also upset me. i accidentally left my switch in her apartment and had to literally exit my bus and go back to get it. her text gave me weird vibes but i figured i was just being weird.

everything was fine until i got home. when i turned on my switch to do my animal crossing dailies, things had changed. for starters, it was raining red drops in my town and the rain was causing my villagers pain. like they had no umbrellas, and the rain was making them do the little stressed out blue wiggle reaction. i was a little off-put by this because of course who would expect that, but i persisted.

my town was renamed to DIE SADIE, which isabelle saying so happily was ALSO off-putting. i had mail. it was from "your enemy", which was definitely a letter from gemma, which i managed to take a pic of (my left joycon is badly broken, its a struggle to take pics fast enough):

when i began to walk around, there were graveyard decors everywhere. all of my villagers houses were back to being tents (yes she EVICTED them) and when i talked to them they would just tell me to go away and that they didnt like me anymore. i went to see sheldon because he still had his house intact and this is what he said to me:

i turned it off because i realized where it was gonna go. i have tried to reboot it again it turns itself off. should i try and get a video of it? i havent tried again for fear of actually damaging my switch, so i'm just trying to get a new cartridge, which i venmoed her the funds for and she denied. i have actually felt so spiritually drained from this entire thing and i think its because i told her that it was like my favorite game that she targeted my island.

shes definitely never going to give a shit. but i cant stop giving a shit.

i literally JUST want people to know what she did to show that it was wrong. like she just doesn't give a shit and i really cared about it, so what if it was just a village to me it was my cyberspace. please care GEMMA. it was my only joy. i am scorned but i wont curse you, i liked you too much. thank you for reading if you got this far.

[writtengalaxies]

hey hey! im down for a little chat <3

-

i only found this blog like, 2 days ago but i can already feel myself getting the urge to go back and reread everything here. content of the highest quality over here <3 /gen

all the fics on AO3 would be really nice as well imo! although i cant say that i use the site that frequently, it could be a good way for others to find your works! at least thats how i see it

i think its due to how much i simp for this man, but i really love love LOVE the memory files. the trope is fairly common (from what ive seen) but the way you write it? chefs kiss. i am patiently but eagerly waiting for the next part mwah <3

the cup god chronicles were also a really fun read. i dont fully really see content (READ: fics) for him regularly so i was immediately intrigued and when i tell you, i was HOOKED. big fan, i love this doofus <3

-

now imma ask you something. who's your fave ego? my guess is engineer lol

also, whats your pronouns? i havent seen them listed anywhere ^^"

if you dont mind me asking, how long have you been writing? just in general. it seems like a basic Q but the answers are fascinating.

-

and as a last little tid bit of me im willing to share for the night, i read most of your works in around 2 hours. what that says about me is irrelevant,, goodnight, i hope this isnt too big of a text wall to answer <3

WAAAH thank you!! Also all of that in two hours?! Oh gosh! (And you're all good! I like big text walls!)

That was more or less my thought with posting them on Ao3! I know a lot of writers do cross-post them, so I figured "hey, why not". I...might end up doing that today, since I managed to pull a muscle in my back real bad in the night and I'm laid up in bed. gfhj

Ooooh, Lost Memory Files does tend to be a fan favorite. XD I'm really happy people like it! It...actually spun out of a similar idea but with Engineer and a Captain who can't remember wormholes and looping...heh. The next part, based on my loose notes, is likely going to continue the hurt.

Cup God Chronicles was really my first attempts at writing Night, the smug bastardass. The reader being a sarcastic little shit is in part I'm a sarcastic little shit, and in part based off of @ghostf1ux. I did notice there aren't a ton of fics for him that aren't...uh. Spicy. I have a couple more fics planned for it!

Favorite ego is 100% Engineer. "The smartest dumbass" was how I saw him described at one point and I'm like "yes. THIS ONE." There's something about like...realizing that even through all the hurt on both sides of that, he still fully trusts the captain? Despite everything. Never knowing the full extent of everything the captain goes through, despite his own misconceptions...

And well, hope is very important to me. So ISWM being very centered around never giving up hope kind of hit real hard, you know?

I DIDN'T REALIZE I DIDN'T PUT PRONOUNS ANYWHERE. ghjk WHOOPS. Honestly, almost anything! (My one exception is it/it's, and that's just because it doesn't feel like me. Big love to everyone who does though! Y'all rock it!)

I'm a genderfluid menace so they're always changing anyway!

How long I've been writing...the first thing I really clearly remember writing was either HP or Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfic waaaaaaaaay back in the day. I must have been about 10 or 11? So...20+ years at this point.

If I had to think about creative writing and doing it more consistently, that's closer to about...16 years? (I had to think about when I graduated high school and I felt like I aged SIGNIFICANTLY in an instant.)

One of my English teachers really drove a lot of confidence in my writing! Shout out to Mr. Craig, who liked some of my original stuff I had written for his class so much, he still has it and checks in from time to time on what I'm up to.

He's a big reason as to why I have an 111k original fiction novel and a novella I self-published for a while. He also did a front-flip off a stage with a lightsaber for a student-written play.