#fall in love with the process again
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Falling back in love with your craft
#svsss#shang qinghua#scum villain#you know i think about how Shang Qinghua had an idea for PIDW and had to forgo it to cater to his fanbase#and how he met a reader that even if he shat on it loved his book and even helped to bring his real outline to life#i like to think he got back into writing in his new life and gets to make the stuff he wants#he's not pressured to do anything but create and just#fall in love with the process again#im projecting#āļø but seriously it makes me insane to think about how even if shang Qinghua made that whole novel his number one hater still read it all#STILL loved part of the book so much#like it just makes me think theres always someone out there thatll see a peice of you in all your work and latch onto it to love#my art#nibbelraz
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesnāt feel like youāve grown at all! times when you canāt really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably shouldāve). but thatās also kind of the best thing, because thatās the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, itās not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just arenāt for you and certain people arenāt your people, and thatās okay. thatās human. itās okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much iād changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didnāt know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why canāt I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didnāt watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didnāt speak to me at all even though Iād introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldnāt really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#itās okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#itās okay to fall back into old habits even though youāve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process youāve made and the connections youāve built#youāre doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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One-Sided
So uhhh
I was thinking of more Dead Serious prompts but my mind went wondering and came up with something else.
What if Danny is dating Respawn!
So this is like a one-sided Dead Serious idea with Danny already dating Respawn (idk their pairing name sorry)
So, now hear me out, what if Danny or rather Phantom joins the Titans or maybe as a young adult joins the JL.
And what if he does his best to avoid being around Robin unless it's for actual missions. Now Robin, Damian, didn't mind this at first in fact he approved of it cause you know it's Damian. But like a cat being ignored he gets curious as to why and starts trying to seek Danny out to find out.
But again Danny is doing his best to avoid the other hero.
Damian eventually gets a crush on Danny after watching Danny go eldritch/ghost king mode and is trying to figure out a way to woo the half ghost.
HOWEVER Danny is in a relationship already, a good one too, with Damian's kinda clone/half brother Respawn. He hasn't told any of them because he knows the bad blood between him and the others. And add the fact Respawn still does mercenary work and Danny doesn't mind but knows those in the Titans or JL do, he doesn't tell any of the heroes whose he's dating.
Danny is keeping his distance cause he knows his boyfriend gets jealous and clingy whenever he comes back from meetings that Robin is in.
#danny phantom#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny fenton#crossover#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Danny is respecting his BF wishes cause he knows how he feels about Damian#Danny is still friendly though but distant#he knows how jealous Respawn can get about Damian/Robin#he knows this bad blood between the two has to be figured out on their own time too#thankfully Jazz is helping Respawn process his emotions and trauma so hopefully soon#i like to think Dani is the reason why Danny and Respawn meet btw#she was exploring and either finds him with Deathstroke as theyre training and she wants in on the fun#and becomes friends with Respawn before eventually takes him to meet her template#he at first was thinking he was going to HATE Danny cause you know kinda clones solidarity#but is baffled with how Danny actually treats Dani with love and respect#or she finds him still in the League and gets him the heck out after finding out hows hes been treated and takes him to Danny#again he thinks hes gonna hate Danny but instead falls for him instead#Respawn gets clingy when Danny returns from League/Titans meetings#he doesn't want to lose one of things he got to claim as his OWN#Danny low-key is flattered though and his ghost side loves it cause you know obsessions are a ghost thing
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Part 1
Yes, there's more to this... I just... I just needed to.. I needed this. š©
Idk If Agatha just dressed up for Wanda, or If it's an AU where Wanda somehow went back in time or met a variant, but what MATTERS IS THAT 90's Rock n'roll/Punk Agatha needs to be seen š(by Wanda...)




#Agatha will teach her the ways#they'll break cosmic laws together#they will rewrite the universal penal code#so they can break it again#Wanda is curious and impulsive#Agatha is a shameless serial killer#Wanda needs a mentor#Agatha needs a battery#Science be damned If necessity isn't the mother of all situationships#They fall in love in the process#agatha harkness#wanda maximoff#wagatha#my art#harkximoff#wandavision#agatha all along#harximoff#wanda x agatha#marvel#Punk!Agatha
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i dunno, younger kim with longer hair
#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#sunnysidedoodles#sunnysidedisco#dfghd at the onslaught of doodles im tryna fall in love with the drawing process again DFGHD#but maybe i should take a break neow#described
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There is a platonic explanation for all this. Right?
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#[accidental kiss] is a purposeful misspelling to reference an old meme. I will blast anyone who tries to correct me with the crunchiest png#The kiss looks like wwx is biting lwj's cheek....It *does* have the consistency of a soft marshmallow so he's not in the wrong.#Once again: wwx was never *ever* oblivious to the implications of the situation. On the contrary: this entire scene + the prior shows-#that he very much understands that this looks gay to the viewers.#He just doesn't think its possible to be loved like that. *Especially not by Lan Zhan.*#Do people forget that LWJ had 13 years to process his feelings VS WWX's (give or take) week?#This is the moment he realizes wwx has feelings and he HATES HIMSELF FOR IT. He feels like he's betraying lwj's trust!#The demi feeling of having spent so long in a comfortable platonic relationship and then getting struck by the 'oh shit' moment.#Its not a soft 'Oh' - Its a 'Oh god they are going to hate me and I can't bear that. I need to be so normal about this or else'.#Pour one out for all of us who've had to go through the trials of trying to conceal the painful realization of deeper affections.#Anyway. *both* lwj and wwx fall in love kicking and screaming and miserable and clawing at the walls about it.#Continuity acknowledgement: wwx's hands are unbound at this point but I had a hellish time with blocking and this was a bit easier.
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#TKO_art 25#got so angry then spiral'd into an existential crisis#still in that crisis but if i don't think about it then i wont think about how nothing matters oh god its 2 late#at first it was a random angry side profile and then it turned into wuxia beatrice#which i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not and i think this looks too cringe so i'm not gonna look at this anymore#i just wanted to draw bea with an undercut#this reminded me of the time i actually wanted to draw beatrice in that wuxia style at the very beginning of my art journey#core memory unlocked#anyway i'll probably revist this sometime later#again bc their clothing is nice#i'm kinda annoyed because i didn't look up any refs for this and this looks pretty much like beatrice and i know when i go to work on#[redacted] it's gonna be a fucking pain#but also lets not discredit the fact that i was looking at beatrice refs for 3 hours before a small break and then this#sometimes i forget how much i love art#my existential crisis was making me doubt if doing art really is worth anything while i was sketching angrily#and really it was just me falling down a pit of oh this is what my next days will look like working on art to just be disappointed by the#end result that i forgot that it's a journey thing but most importantly u have to trust the process#but i also forgot making art is a slower type of gratification + serotonnin#i guess the thing is i'm waiting for the shoe to drop: burnout stage of art#where i do not want to touch art for years#and it's kinda because i push myself to do art like i'm going to die very soon that i'm worried about it#but also at the same time hmmmm idk bc seeing art is just so inspiring and makes me jealous that i kickstart myself into doing it#what are we talking about anyway blah blah blah
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POV: You're Jeon Yeongbin. You're a horrible, wretched, cowardly little shit. You know it, you've made your peace with it. You're trying to make the most of it by hanging out with less cowardly people you can hide behind. It works out because you have money and no one seems to have any self respect anyway.
But the damn murder boyfriends keep coming at you to avenge each other, and fuck man, it wasn't even you this time, but they're obsessed with each other and you started all this and now you have to get your fingers broken and your head smashed and your shoulder stabbed. They're so sad and so in love and somehow beating your ass has become a part of their mutual pining romance ritual. It's not even about what you did anymore, you're just a prop in their declaration of tragic lost love.
Fuck.
#whc1#weak hero class 1#jeon yeongbin#love to hate him#what a little bitch#i love that by the end suho and sieun beat his ass not because they hate him in particular but it's just how they process their feelings#for each other#they're like#babe this#this little bitchboy is where we started#he's where we met#let's go back to the start and fall in love again#let's declare our true endless devotion#by kicking his coward ass#and like yeah he 100% deserves it#what A Ass#new crack headcanon#after suho wakes up sieun goes and beats up yeongbin#and he isn't even mad he's smiling the whole time#sparkly eyes and all#like it's not a yandere smile it's his smitten i-brought-my-boyfriend-soup-and-he-said-it-gave-him-goosebumps smile#and he's smiling like that while kicking the everloving shit out of yeongbin#for old times sake
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Oopsie daisy, we accidentally spent almost 5 full hours in my room š„“ damn I had truly planned on buying him a nice dinner after sex too
#dating nonsense#stoner romeo#5 hour bedroom adventure#that honestly would have lasted even longer if I hadn't reminded him for the third time that I wanted to get him dinner#granted it wasn't all sex#it was more like foreplay then sex the more foreplay then more sex#then a massage and then domming/edging him for a while then aftercare then more sex#then cuddling then a stark moment of our emotional walls being let down with some light tears and then more kissing#then coming back downstairs and realizing it was already 10:30 at night#so instead of dinner I gave him the fancy dessert i bought for him earlier#then he headed home#i feel good but it was scary to be that emotionally vulnerable for even a little bit at the end#but it's not going to scare him away#and it's strange to feel confident in that#strange but good (and a little scary)#and like once again i have to question where the line is and how I'm supposed to not fall for someone who makes me feel so valued/cared for#and someone who allows themselves to be vulnerable with me as well#he talked a little bit more about his wife#and how sometimes he feels guilty for enjoying being with other people after her death#and thinking about how he wouldn't be doing any of it if she were still here#which is all very understandable to me#so anyway i have feelings for this guy for suuuuuure but I want to give him the space he needs to continue grieving/processing#and he's once again made it clear that he's planning on sticking around for the foreseeable future#i offhandedly mentioned something I like to bake in the winter time and he was like 'yum can't wait š'#told him it was so nice to not feel like there's a time limit or looming threat to our time together#I haven't really had that since... college? or maybe even ever?#yeah fuck it I'm in love#at least a little bit#and we have plenty of time for whatever will be to become what it is
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cw: Bakugou dies but comes back to life, ācomes back wrongā trope, implied fighting, angst
When Bakugou died, youāre not sure how you went on living. Grief had taken over your life, sat you in the passenger side while it cruised off the highway into icy waters. And even then, you couldnāt find the energy to drown.
Itās why thereās a sudden uptick of energy when youāre promised to have him back. Some top scientists contact you months after his death, tell you to hurry down to the headquarters labs, come and rejoice for what youāre about to witness. And youāre horrified, to say the least.
āThis isnāt my husband.ā Are your first words when you walk in, watch the figure on the other side of the glass examine its own hands. It looks like your husband butābut his hair isnāt the right shade of blond all over. His nose bridge had a slight bump after a scuffle with a villain. He had a scar on his hand butābut it never looked like it was to sew a pinky beside the other fingers.
āIs that really my husband?ā You ask next in disbelief, slowly entering the room. Bakugouās head snaps up, his eyes a little brighter than you remember butāthey hold so much emotion. So much memory, so much panic, so much guilt.
āI left you.ā He mutters, his voice raspy and ragged, and you wonder if itāll always be like this now. It makes you cry a little harder than it should, but you only embrace each other. Heās cold and his shoulders donāt hold the same mass and his back doesnāt carry the same scars. Thereās one, jagged and rough, running down his back, and you think, you think thatās where they slipped a new spine in.
āWelcome back home.ā You tell him, weeks after meeting him again, new and not totallyāKatsuki. Heās stiff and he doesnāt immediately take off his boots when he enters, and it worries you. Makes you think if youāve just let a stranger into your home, one that has stolen your dead husbands face. Makes you wonder if heāll be as loving as Katsuki once was, or if heāll become your monster looming over you with the guilt of not being able to rest anymore.
āIāve missed you so much.ā You whisper against his mouth one night, a little while after heās moved back. You donāt know why you lay under him, why you let him nestle himself inside of you, why you let him hold you against his chest. Katsuki always ran his hands over your cheeks and neck whenever he held you like this, but thisā¦man, only holds himself up with his hands resting beside your head. Itās alien, how he looks at you, how his hips are methodically measured with every thrust, how he kisses you every 8 seconds. You wonder if heās more robot than Frankenstein monster.
āWhy did you come back to me like this?ā You ask him one night, barricaded in the bathroom away from him. You can hear his sobs on the other side, his pleading to be let in. He tells you he never wanted to come back if he had to be like this, that heās sorry, please let him in, he misses the warmth of your skin, heās never been so cold before, heās never liked the cold.
āIs this considered cheating?ā You ask yourself aloud one night, when Bakugou is forced back to the lab when he becomes tooā¦un-Bakugou. To sleep with a man that is your husband in every way but? Your husband has been dead for a year now, and yet you stroke the chin of the man that tries so hard to be him everyday, but fails so miserably at it every time.
āIāll come back to you right this time.ā Bakugou promises to you when heās strapped down to leave for the lab and before heās sedated. But you donāt believe himāyou never did. Your husband is dead, and this animated corpse has been nothing but a cheap mockery of everything youāve lost and something you will never truly get back.
#I was writing this and then checked my dash and saw another post about this#and felt so guilty and almost didnāt post it aidjdkfj#but I love this trope too much to delete it!!!!!#Iāve written about this in my published book before and itās one of my favorite things Iāve ever written#thereās just such a deep heartache about having to grieve someone#and then the grieving process being interrupted by the one you lost#and battling with their death even though you still look at them everyday again#but itās just not right?? itās not the same??#they have the same face (kinda) but itās truly not hem#not them* heck#it reminds me of a convo I had in a psych class about making a new cloned version of yourself#where the question was āis the clone/new version still you? or are they an entirely new person now?ā#and at first I said theyāre still me you know? they have my face n body n memories#but my prof told me no!! after they have been cloned they are sentient and are now their own person making new memories apart from you#and I thought that was soooo interesting and it makes me fall in love w this trope every time#youāre my person but only a version. youāre who I love but a newer person. youāre not them. youāre everything Iāve missed about them#so heartbreaking I LOVE ITTTT#sorry Iām rapping itās the sleep meds kicking in#okay bai#bakugou treats! š¬#ānew treat in the streets! š«
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this might just reveal things about my own personal taste, but I feel like mxtx is at her best when she's writing a relationship that is absolutely fucked. just a real psychosexual freakshow. the love was there and it made things worse. guys falling in love with the person whose demise they're supposed to be orchestrating. that sort of thing.
#her normal romances are nice and all#but in both mdzs and tgcf my favorite arcs were the ones focusing on the fucked up side characters#yi city was my first exposure to this and i remember being like HELLO??? DID ANYONE SEE THAT??? HELLO#and then again in tgcf with black water arc#my jaw was on the ground. i was both horrified and delighted#the funny thing is that the closest equivalent to this in svsss. is in fact the main couple lol#theyre not QUITE the same#in the case of xuexiao and beefleaf we've got xy and hx falling in love with the guy whose demise theyre trying to orchestrate#while xxc and sqx are oblivious to the psychological torment until everything goes wrong at the end#but in bingqiu's case the opposite is true#sqq THINKS binghe is trying to orchestrate his demise#but binghe is just aggressively trying to express his love and inadvertently psychologically tormenting him in the process#but it's the closest equivalent to the other two#and i like it. mxtx writes that sort of thing very well lol#it helps that the guy doing the tormenting is ultimately pretty pathetic about it#we know all about binghe's patheticness of course#then we've got xy being like i will torment xxc >:) [lives in domestic bliss for three years & immediately regrets driving him to suicide]#and hx playing the long game to get revenge for YEARS AND YEARS#only to fumble at the LAST SECOND and he doesnt even manage to kill sqx#lol. lmao even. point and laugh at black water sinking ships
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And yet still despite me writing alll that stuff about ships, I still dislike melodrama TV shows and the likes of them
Like idk realistically portrayed toxic relationships are boring in a sense that you're looking at two human beings playing those two human beings
Instead of it being a result of idk characters being affected by magic, age, knowledge, and overall dealing with a character still played by a human being, but so unrelatable physical form and circumstances wise it's more interesting and you can switch to exploring that can of worms instead
Realistic ones just feel like you should be a therapist to see more of that irl everywhere around you, or even just be curious bc that's life
#Which is also why I usually dislike romance involving those ships as they seem like an average romance book#With misunderstood bad guy or a tragic past guy and boom the MC loves them and they're together in the end#Where's fun in that? Where's the emotional manipulation on the levels of psychological torture in their own heads /j#Like idk I've watched enough romance series with grandma from being bored that this and the āgo to the chill guyā#Types of series and stuff like that reads as boring and repetitive to death#don't be like *cough* SvtFoE *cough* be better than that#Then again I'm not cringing from it I just dislike the fact that it's less common to see characters be portrayed as in canon#And more common to see same tropes reused TIME AND TIME AGAIN#Like at least playing Tears of Themis the canon IS like that the true fanservice and so on#And you come there to get exactly that - the simple story of the reused tropes and chill#And no character is harmed in the process since they're already this way#Unlike when you get them be mistaken in the canon that is not trying to do that at all#Thank god gravity falls fandom is kinda old now so it's less filled with that and more with canon based stuff
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THIS IS A CALLOUT POST FOR MY DMS @themilokin AND @phoenix-failing FOR HITTING US WITH A SCENARIO SO FUNDAMENTALLY HEARTBREAKING IN ITS IMPLICATIONS THAT WE SPENT THE ENTIRE SESSION ARGUING ABOUT WHAT TO DO AND ALSO LIKE THREE OF US STARTED CRYING. AND THEN, WHEN WE FINALLY MADE OUR DECISION, AND WE HAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO A BELOVED NPC THAT HAS BEEN WITH US ALMOST SINCE THE BEGINNING, THEY HIT US WITH A TWIST SO GRACIOUS AND UNEXPECTED THAT WE STARTED THREATENING THEM WITH PHYSICAL VIOLENCE (EXTREMELY AFFECTIONATE)
HOLY SHIT, WHAT A GAME.
#hush frenchy#fortune's favor#d&d#you don't GET IT you don't UNDERSTAND#we got handed a decision that decided the fate of alllll of the dragons we've been working so hard to help#it would have returned their souls to the gods that split apart and became them#the gods would exist again in their fullness for the first time in an age#but the dragons. our friends. they'd be gone#and we couldn't even consult them on what was going to happen to see if they'd make that sacrifice#add in the fact that five of these dragons have been chained up and essentially tortured for years#and only JUST got their freedom with our help#and the fact that we've also been working so hard to get these god-beings set to rights#and it was the HARDEST call we've ever had to make!!#val was the tiebreaker too. and did it in large part so that the task wouldn't fall to anyone else#cause we were divided multiple ways#i was genuinely crying at the end#AND THEN! AFTER WE GET TWO SECONDS TO SHARE A GOODBYE WITH OUR BEST DRAGON BUDDY#AND THEY SHARE A BITTERSWEET GOODBYE WITH US WHERE THEY IMPARTED TO US THAT THEY WERE HAPPY TO HAVE MET US#WE HAD TO WATCH EVERY BODY FALL. WATCHED THEM ALL COLLAPSE#AND FUCKING /THEN/!!! THEY WOKE UP AGAIN!!!#SEE WE HAVE PREVIOUSLY SEPARATED A GOD-BEING FROM A MORTAL PERSON. THEY WERE STILL ALIVE AFTER THE PROCESS. /WE HAD FORGOTTEN/!!!!#WE ARE STUPID BUT AT LEAST EVERYONE IS ALIVE AND CAN LIVE THIS ONE LAST LIFE TOGETHER AND MAN I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN#FUCK. NO ONE LOOK AT ME#anyway i can't believe how much i love my dms and my fellow players. eight years. god. they're everything to me
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Anyway I keep tearing up a little because today he told me that he thinks that my body is perfect as it is š„¹ and it didn't feel like he was pandering or patronizing me, it just felt earnest and sweet
#dating nonsense#stoner romeo#he makes me feel good about me#and I'm *not* supposed to fall for that?? sorry man I am too weak to not catch a terminal case of feelings#if you fuck me good and treat me super well and compliment me in a way that feels real and let me do the same things for you#I'm going to feel some type of way about it because at heart I'm just a sad stray dog desperately looking for affection#was talking to a friend about it and they said 'honestly what does casual even mean'#and fuck if I know because this doesn't feel very casual to me it's too tender to be casual#we're making plans for events months from now#and talking about stuff we'll do when I finally get this fucking house situation nailed down someday#but we can call it whatever he's comfortable calling it#and I can quietly carry my love around in my heart because fuck knows I've done that before#and when we spend time together i can just take care of him and let him take care of me and enjoy each other and make each other feel good#and maybe someday he'll get to a point in his grief process that he's ready to emotionally invest in a different way#in the meantime... i can't shout it from the mountaintops but I can ramble about it in my tags#I'm falling for him#fallen already perhaps#it's weird to be feeling lovey flutters again
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Modern Sejarcus au based on the lyrics of Good Luck, Babe!, in which theyāre childhood friends who grew up in a homophobic small town, and though it came with a lot of pain, Sejanus was able to accept that heās gay, but Marcus canāt bring himself to do the same and keeps living in denial, so when they eventually develop feelings for each other, all of this leads to a pretty toxic homoerotic situationship
#i could yap more about this but once i start i canāt stop so i wonāt. but yea it would be based on the lyrics lol#some other things iāll say though (yes iām a hypocrite lol):#marcus has the āwhen you wake up next to him ⦠youāre nothing more than his wifeā moment BEFORE he marries his girlfriend#after a family gathering filled with questions about marriage and building a family#and he realizes he canāt keep living like that cause itāll kill him#so he eventually decides to break up with his girlfriend#and he starts the slow and long painful process of accepting his sexuality healing and coming out to his loved ones#and one day after many years him and sejanus stumble into each other again#and though their last period of time together had come with a lot of pain and they had left things off very badly#sejanus accepts to go out with marcus some time#cause none of that nor the passing of time were able to ever make him fall out of love with marcus (same thing for marcus)#and bla bla bla many more things and they have a happy ending because i say so#i physically have to restrain myself from yapping#this is the best iāll give#(i actually have a way longer version of this written on a google doc lol but that will stay there)#but one last thing: the time between their situationship and when they meet again years later#based on the lyrics of the subway again by chappell roan#sejarcus
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Would You Fall In Love With Me from the Ithaca saga of Epic reminds me of your AU might make an animatic depending on if ford hates bill or not when he comes clean
"FUCK, that's geniusā Why didn't I think of thatā"
Jokes aside, OMFG I love that idea!! :O thank you thank you thank youā
And about that last partā :)
#omfg i love EPIC#wellā STRAIGHT TO THE PLAYLIST!! :DD#hamsty answers#be not afraid to sends asks btw people#i need an excuse to yap#or else i look insane#or maybe i'm just eating those. you'll never know#fixinit au#fixinit1#gravity falls#bill cipher#gf#stanford pines#billford#gravity falls au#gravity falls blog#epic#epic the musical#would you fall in love with me again#i'm working really hard on future chapters btw#doing my best not to abandon the fic (that might sound concerning but thats just my work process)
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