#fcuking magical

[romijuli]

I’m never running this interstitial campaign for several reasons including “my friends will all look at me funny” and “the npcs exist so I can shove my fave ships together like Barbie dolls even if that’s not why I originally put some of those characters here” but I gave this character a specific codename because it was vaguely funny but I reworked his specific origins and now it’s OBSCENELY funny.

[txttletale]

oaky everyone magic the gaterhigns been fun but we can throw all the last 30o years of cards in the TRASH now who cares its all about bloomburrow now. fcuking look at these little guys. God. Goddd. tis is the only good magic the gfaterhing set. everything else is Bullshit. every other card game can Go To Hell. mainline this into my arteries Please

[ijichi-nijika]

mom am i adopted

no i birthed you from my fcuking womb after a magic spell

[princess-of-the-corner]

I was thinking about a character concept, and I decided I randomly wanted your opinion.

It started as one person whose Quirk is the ability to mode change into five abilities based on MMO roles: Tank (increased toughness and aggro-draw), Melee DPS (increased physical damage output), Ranged DPS (pinpoint ranged attacks), Magic DPS (AoE ranged attacks), and Healer (what it says on the tin). And then I thought of the Quirk Awakening could be: can split into a full party with each role, but they're all slightly weaker than normal.

Then, I had a different idea: it turns out that it really is five people, it's just that one of them (the Melee DPS) actually has a Steven Universe-style fusion Quirk, and they're just pretending to be a single hero to hide that they're also a polycule.

Thoughts?

OH I FCUKING LOVE THAT ACTUALLY

[jamtoasties3316]

Non-ABO, magical realism verse: Max and Charles are friends with benefits, and Max has a huge breeding kink. During sex he always asks Charles not to wear a condom, begging him to come inside him over and over again, blabbering about how much he wants Charles to knock him up, how he wants to carry his babies, wanting to be soft and fat with Charles’ baby. He always plugs himself up after Charles’ pulls out and touches his tummy, bulging out with cum. One day Max wakes up insanely horny and feeling very strange, and his whole body is just screaming to get Charles, that he absolutely needs to get fucked by Charles. Red Bull has to get Charles and smuggle him into Max’s motorhome, and he practically throws himself onto him, and that state doesn’t let up until Charles has filled him over and over again, until Charles’ cum is leaking out of him. A few weeks later he gets morning sickness, and his tits get swollen, and he’s shocked when he just in case takes a pregnancy test and it’s positive!!! he almost cries from happiness, he’s always wanted to have a baby, and especially charles’ baby. At first he’s a a little afraid to tell him but Charles is so supportive, and assures Max that he’s going to be the best mommy! His tits are already swollen with milk and body softer and curvier

Oh yes! Charles and Max as rivals with benefits just fucking a lot and Max has the biggest breeding kink. He always wants Charles to top, which Charles happily agrees to, and wants Charles to cum in him! Max babbling about wanting Charles to fuck a baby in him and fill him with cum and Charles didn't expect to be as into it as he is, happily fcuking load after load into Max's tight ass and watching Max plug himself up to keep it in and then rub his round belly! He really would look gorgeous pregnant, it's a shame it won't happen...

Msx waking up feeling strange and he desperately needs to be fucked and get Charles to cum in him snd won't race until red bull gets Charles over! Charles fucking him hard and Max is babbling more about wanting to be fat with Charles's baby and how Charles should fuck his cum nice snd deep in him! Charles spends a good while adger lazily fingering his cum back into Max as it threatens to push out from his puffy rim and Max is just rubbing his belly so cutely!

Max's tits getting so sore after and his cock is super sensitive too. He doesnt know why but he takes pregnancy test anf it's positive! He is nervous to tell Charles bur Charles is so sweet, gushing over his big tits anx round curves and maybe Max even gets a sweet little pussy! He will be ghe perfect mommy! He starts lactating ao soon and Charles is super obsessed with those big tits!

[alienxxx]

A Moment Alone: Surrendering to Desire

(LEON FCUKING KENNEDY!!!!!)

y/n x Leon Kennedy

*The fanfiction set in the Resident Evil universe, featuring characters Leon S. Kennedy and the reader (y/n). After a dangerous mission to eliminate a horde of monsters, the two characters find themselves in a safe, isolated room. *

(The story includes explicit sexual content, including oral and penetrative sex, and features a strong focus on pleasure and consent.)

“Holy shit!” You gasp, as you enter the room. It’s small but well equipped, with a bed, a TV, and a shower. “This place is amazing. How did we get so lucky?”

“We need to stay here for now,” Leon says seriously, his eyes darting around the room. “It seems like the safest place right now. I don’t think anyone else knows about it.”

“Yeah, I agree,” you say, nodding your head in agreement. “But what do we do after this?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs heavily, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall. “We just need to rest until things calm down. Then we can go back out there and try to find more people.”

He leans in close, his lips brushing against yours softly before he pulls away. “Thank you for helping me,” he whispers, his voice low and sweet. “I really appreciate it.”

His words make you feel warm inside, your heart fluttering at how sincere they were. “Of course,” you smile, feeling yourself blush slightly at his compliments. “Anything for you, Leon.”

He chuckles at that, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Oh yeah? What kind of things would those be?”

“Well,” you start, thinking for a moment before deciding on something that will definitely turn him on. “Anything you want. Anything that makes you happy.”

“Like what?” He asks curiously, his eyes widening slightly at your boldness.

“Whatever turns you on,” you say simply, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly. “You can tell me anything, and I’ll do it.”

“Really?” He raises an eyebrow, looking at you skeptically. “And you mean that?”

“Absolutely,” you nod your head firmly, smiling widely. “I promise.”

He smirks at that, his eyes darkening slightly as he looks into your own eyes. “Then let’s see if you can keep your word,” he murmurs, his voice deep and husky.

He presses his body against yours, his arms wrapping around you tightly as he kisses you deeply. His tongue slides into your mouth easily, exploring every inch of your mouth as his hands roam over your body freely. His fingers gently squeeze your breasts, kneading them gently before sliding lower to caress your ass lightly. His touch sends shivers down your spine, making you moan softly into his mouth as you grind your hips against his.

“Fuck,” he groans softly, breaking the kiss to look down at you. “You’re so hot.”

“I am?” You ask, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly at his compliment.

“Mmmhmm,” he hums in agreement, trailing kisses down your neck before biting your earlobe playfully. “I could never get enough of you.”

“Me neither,” you whisper back, pulling him closer by wrapping your legs around his waist tightly. “Let’s take this somewhere else.”

“Good idea,” he agrees, picking you up bridal-style effortlessly and carrying you to the bed. “Let’s fuck each other senseless while we wait for things to settle down outside.”

He lays you down on the bed carefully, positioning himself between your spread thighs before lowering his face to suckle your nipples hungrily. He licks and sucked one nipple then switched to the other, alternating between them slowly and steadily until you’re squirming beneath him.

“That feels good,” you moan softly, arching your back to press your chest against his face. “More. Please.”

“As you wish,” he replies, continuing to lick and suck both of your nipples equally as long as possible until they’re hard enough to stand up straight again.

He moves down further, licking and sucking along your stomach until he reaches your clit where he pauses briefly before starting to work his magic. He sucks gently at first then increases the pressure gradually until he’s able to get all three fingers inside you easily without causing any pain whatsoever. He continues doing this until you begin to tremble from pleasure.

“Oh my god,” you gasp breathlessly, your eyes rolling back into their sockets as waves of pleasure wash over you. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he promises, his voice low and rough. “Not yet anyway.”

He moves down even further, licking and sucking your pussy lips tenderly while using his free hand to massage your clit gently with his fingertips. He does this for several minutes before moving back up to kiss you passionately again.

“I love being inside you,” he growls against your lips, his hands roaming over your body as he squeezes and kneads your breasts roughly. “I’m going to fuck you so hard tonight, baby.”

“Please do,” you moan softly, your eyes closed as you lay back against the pillows waiting for him to continue.

He grins wickedly at that, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he moves down between your legs again. This time he doesn’t hesitate though, immediately pushing his cock inside you fully before beginning to thrust wildly. He pounds away at your pussy relentlessly, his balls slapping against your ass repeatedly as he grunts loudly with each thrust.

“Fuck yes,” he growls, slamming his cock inside you harder than ever before. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. So fucking tight.”

“Ohh,” you moan softly, arching your back as you feel yourself getting closer to orgasm. “Harder. Fuck me harder.”

He complies instantly, pounding away at your pussy faster than ever before as he grunts loudly with each thrust. Your cries of ecstasy fill the room as you both reach climax together. He collapses onto top of you panting heavily while still inside you completely exhausted from the intense session.

“God damn,” he panted heavily, his eyes closed as he lay on top of you. “That was incredible.”

“Yes it was,” you agreed, smiling happily up at him.

He chuckled at that, reaching out to stroke your hair gently before replying. “Goodnight, gorgeous. Sweet dreams.”

***

hope y'all like it

[buckevantommy]

you may have tumblr polls and not know it.

so apparently i have polls??! totally hidden, turns out. it all comes down to the fcuking legacy editor on desktop. 

here is what i see on my desktop dash when making a new post:  

no poll option anywhere in sight. 

turns out the issue is this fucker right here:

i prefer the layout and control of the legacy editor so i always have it turned on. for whatever reason (probably being the early stages of a new feature) tumblr polls is not available/does not appear if you're using this. 

to see if you have polls, switch the legacy editor OFF. 

making posts in the the new editor you will see the orange poll option appear. 

guys, this realisation almost fcuking broke me. for weeks(?) i've been waiting for some magic button to appear. now i wonder how long i've had the magic here all along and just didn't know it. 

[battleaxeproficiency]

okay okay here are my fcuking . absolution thoughts because im going insane .  under the cut because this might be . long .

i CALLED IT THAT HIRA WAS GOING TO BETRAY THEM i KNEW IT

the fucking . fairbanks fake out was so fun (rip to a real one lol) although im kind of glad he died so early because listening to matt mercer do a french accent was going to make me kill myself

rezaren was SUCH a good villain , i really really liked the way they did everything with him

i was really worried it wasnt going to FEEL like dragon age ?? and just kind of be generic fantasy story with some references to the games or something but by episode 2 it FELT LIKE DRAGON AGE and it made me so excited

i dont normally like this studios art style (i think the vox machina show is ugly . im sorry) but i feel like they really made it work for this . i think the animation was still . tough . in some places but there was a lot that was just really smooth and beautiful

on the same note i LOVED the way the magic looked , fucking BEAUTIFUL

OH MY GOD ??? THE FUCKING . CIRCULUM BEING CREATED BY A PAVUS????? EXCUSE ME ??? OUGH

taking bets rn about whether or not we think the crew from the show will be in dreadwolf or not (my bet is that yes , but only as a war table mission where you never actually see them lol)

i also feel VINDICATED for caring about dragon age 2 in this moment . i KNEW this slob boy game from the TRASH would be important one day . I FUCKING KNEW IT .

meredith is so scary im so scared of her , i cannot wait to fight her AGAIN when da:d rolls around

i feel like i need to give it a couple days and rewatch it to decide if it  was ACTUALLY good or if im just excited about dragon age

okay . that is . it for now

sorry this post makes no sense , im in crazy mode rn

[ruleofstars]

i can’t find my fcuking magic cards where the hell are they

[moominmammakin]

Dairy Queen Fcuked me

I needed a quick and easy way to make gravy because even though I called beforehand to make sure they would give me gravy dairy queen hates gay people and is intentionally being homophobic to me. Any way i used this recipe from a person i assume is a lovely kind grandmother who possesses magical powers or some sort of similar pracritioner. Anyway i love them for their contribution to my lunch because I almost started screaming and the neighbors would be worried.

I would def not switch out the whole milk bc i used 2% and its noticable and i dont like how much pepper there is but im a fragile little baby boy (gender neutral) so make your own choices also use whatever milk you have if you want its fine but if you dont have to worry about it why not just drink whole milk. its very delicious. Anyway I hope this recipe and review of it make you smile because today is ass and itd be nice if someone read this and also if they liked it too.

Edit: I forgot to mention there was a stage when I added the flour when i thought i fucked it bc it clumped up very much but the milk fixed it so dont worry if it becomes some sort of substance initially!

[omamervt]

So due to some circumstances (spare parts after repairs/upgrades) I've had 2 working computers for the past 4-5 years and so I've used the better one for gaming and the worse one for work type stuff (not employed in my field so work = screwing around in Unreal Engine/Blender).

Both of these computers contain parts that were at one point mid-range to high-end and would likely continue to serve me well in their current capacities for years to come, except for one problem. Neither one of them has a motherboard compatible with Windows 11. My laptop has Windows 11 and I hate it because you can't move the taskbar (this matters a lot to me) so this didn't bother me until I learned that Windows 10 will stop receiving support in a couple years.

Prices on parts change all the time, but if I had to make the change today, I couldn't do it. It'd literally be cheaper to scrap the lesser of the two computers and upgrade the better one to a 13th gen i9 with 128 GB RAM than it would be to upgrade both computers to the minimum acceptable CPU/motherboard combination because NEITHER CPU I have now is supported by a Windows 11-compatible motherboard. Both motherboards take DDR4 and most processors that would work with Win11 that I'd consider to have comparable performance are on DDR5, so I can't even keep my 2-year-old RAM sticks.

I'm not looking for solutions to my problem. It doesn't even matter if someone knows of a magical motherboard that meets Windows 11's weird standard AND works with my current CPUs/RAM. I'm mad because now I can't look at upgrades and think, "will this improve my ability to use my computer?" Instead I'm stuck asking, "will this allow me to continue safely using this PC in 2 years?"

Fucking hate Windows and I fcuking hate Microsoft. Wish their competitors weren't worse.

[high-theyre-frendough]

I don't usually reblog art on tumblr (to this page I mean, usually it goes on my main blog cause there's more followers there) but I fucking love art. I fucking love fucking comic artists with their awesome fucking comics with fucking scribbly faces that somehow perfectly encapsulate human emotion. I love traditional artists with their watercolor and crayons and oil pastels and fucking idk acrilic paint and charcoal and pencils and shit. I love seeing timelapses and expressive gestures below finished products. I love seeing it. I fucking love art thats non traditional like throwing rice or assembling Rubik's cubes. I LOVE IT ITS FUCKING GREAT. The skill and creativity. I fucking love it. I love seeing fairies and other magical creatures and scifi settings. I love seeing them so much and i would say fantasy and magic in any setting is beautiful and bassass dddd cause I love faries and shit but honestly all settings great. I fucking love it all. I WANNA SEE FUCKING INKY PAINTED CHARCOLS. fucking helle. i love the goddamn fanart of television shows and other media wirh worse art. i swear to fucking god. some of you artists dont get enough love. even """ammatures""" fuck that. youre all fcuking great. i am more of a writer than a visual artists (((not proof here but trust me when im actually writing i am fucking good at it. fuck you dad. i am good at fucking writing. See, the fucking idiot said. If I just put in active effort to write, and use the baskspace button, the writing becomes better. It is one of my few skills, therefore I feel like I can acknowledge I am good at it. Personally, like I alluded to earlier, I enjoy fantasy. I have spent years escaping into fantasy stories. Sometimes I fail to finish them, due to adhd and depression, but what I do create actually is fucking good. When I was younger, I wrote on Wattpad, and like the pretentious little shit I was, I would leave comments on all the stories I read correcting grammar. I have spent so long studying story structure (admittedly informally) and used to read a lot which, I'm trying to do more again soon. however for the purposes of this textpost, its too much effort especially in this context))) anyways fucking hell one time this person (who sounded kinda young tbh in text) messaged me on wattpad and asked for permission to make FAN ART OF THE MAIN CHARACTER OF MY STORY I WAS WORKING AT THE TIME and i was like HOLY SHIT THEY WANNA MAKE FANART OF MY CHARACTER and they did and were embarassed about it SOMEHOW and it was so good this drawing (looked great)

found it you can read the story here anyways yeah fucking artist. fucking love yoou guys hell yeah. did i mention watercolors? landscape artists? comics? comic writers who use their art as a way to communicate serious things? with non bland fucking corporate art bullshit. thank you for explaining complex issues to me in an easier way. thank you for helping translate news stories and recent issues with colorful doodles and comics to help me understand. thank you for making me more interested in graphs and statistics. thank you for making one facet of numbers that are more acceptable to me. thank you for the above average more competent graphic design. thank you so much. i love you fucking porn artists. i fucking love you furties and trans people drawing ideal selves to show EVERYONE IS AN IDEAL BODY YO SOMEONE BECAYSE EVERYONE SEES DIFFERENT AND YOURELLL FUCKING GREAT and all the beads and candy art and custom sculptures that are useeful or mayve not and doodle sn scrivles and crazy experiments. and fucking dumbass youtubers who spent $$$$ making the most creative but also stupid and useless shit you have ever seen in your goddamn life because who even thinks of theses things ans went through and did it because why the fuck not. you are infuriating but entertain my world compared to the commentators who will make their own little sketches and lectures in their own videos. fucking fucking shit. all og it. whenever i see someone go "idk if i can make animation itll look silly* WHO FUCKING CARES BRING ON THE SILLY AND LET IT SLOWLY AND SATISFYINGLY EVOLVE INTO MORE COMPLEX AND DETAILED ANIMATION FOR THR WORLD HELL YEAH I LOVE THE EVOLUTION FROM SILLY BOUNCE TO MUSIC TO COMPLEX SHORT STORIES AND SHIT YOUR GODDAMN CHARACTER ARC IS NECESSARY FOR ENTERAINMENT JUST FUCKING DO IT BECAYSE ALL PARTS ARE EQUALLY ENTERTAINING IN DIFFERENT WAYS come on just fucking draw. fellow yarn people. i know you. look at me i am you. i am an amature but fuck it ill try to keep up. fucking love you crochet and knitters and sewers making plushies and custom clothing and shit yes fuck yeah. KEEP THAT SHIT UP i just make giant enormous pride flag knitted blankets (cant make money doing that cause no one is dropping $200 for that - which would be underpaying me probably) i have seen the most intricate and detailed fucking crochet lingerie and other outfits and they are so fucking cool all of it i love it fuck yeah. i probably forgot something but for some reason i cannot feel my fingers because there is no bloodflow and they are frozen because i have undiagnosed and untreated circulatory problems

[justlookatthosesausages]

If the Frozen Gang were part of Drizella's curse in Season 7, what would their life be in Hyperion Heights?

Well, the Fifth Dark Curse (goddamnit, there were 5 goddamn curses in Once Upon a Time, this is hilariously dumb!??!) was cast by Regina yet made in a context of revenge from Drizella, but not personally to the main characters... and I suppose that Drizzy didn’t know neither Elsa or Anna or Kristoff, as Arendelle apparently is far away from the Enchanted Forest. So in a realistic context, idk. I feel like their jobs and lives would be attributed randomly lol

But your question is fun, maybe we can pick some headcanons for them. Hmmm... Regina, a Queen, became a bartender; Hook, a pirate, became a policeman... It would be fun to have jobs and lives that really have nothing to do with Elsa’s, Anna’s and Kristoff’s actual lives, maybe even the opposite. Let’s see...

Elsa would have become an ice-cream seller under the curse, just for the irony of it all, with maybe the persona name of Iduna because Drizella was very in the I Hate My Mother mood. Also Iduna sounds a lot like Idina so let me roll in that headcanon alright lol

Anna would have been purposely cursed to live faaaar away from Elsa’s place - the dark curses are made to rip people’s happiness, remember? - to make sure they never meet and don’t break the curse. Maybe the other end of town.

Anna would have become a watchmaker or something like that, to underline how she lacks patience and precision and how most of her life had been marked by waiting, and named Joan under the curse (*shaking freezable fruit shapes* just becauuuse)

Kristoff would have become a security agent in a place that has a bad reputation, and hates his job because he doesn’t like to be just the muscles guy, and sometimes wonder how he even got to this job (*whispering* you got cursed bud that’s the whole problem), maybe his name could be Sven just for the fun idk

I’M VERY BAD AT SEASON 7 HEADCANONS SORRY 

[valeriegirion]

me: <sends an important uni survey, gets feedback that the survey has been succesfully sent>

me: ok, but did i send it?

[gingerwerk]

ya know when your friend says something very well meaning but it just. doesn’t sit right and you wanna snap at them but you gotta use all your will power to be an adult and just let it slide?? 

[your-fave-is-bi]

new icon homemade and fresh from the oven