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coolstoriesbro · 1 year

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BEDROOM HYMNS BY PROSEOVER-BROS

FANDOM: The Walking Dead

TITLE: Bedroom Hymns

STATUS: Complete

ERA: Season 7

PAIRING: Negan Smith x Female Reader (No Use of “Y/N”)

WORD COUNT: 4.6k

SUMMARY: On the night of the lineup, Negan took one look at you and knew that he had to have you. What you never anticipated was just how desperately you would end up wanting him back.

RATING: Mature (Minors DNI)

WARNINGS: Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Language, Sexual Situations, Dirty Talk, Begging, Praising, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Rough Sex, Unprotected Sex, Teeny Bit of Fluff

A/N: I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that I love Negan just as much as I love Daryl. Needless to say, seeing JDM’s sexy ass on my screen again every week was just the inspiration I needed for this smut-fest. Hope you enjoy! If so, comments/likes/reblogs would mean the world!

What the fuck am I doing here?

The same question had been repeating itself in your head as your reluctant footsteps brought you to the outside of Negan’s apartment. All of your instincts were screaming at you to get far away, but before you could so much as knock, the door swung open to reveal that smug, irritatingly beautiful face.

You knew he’d been waiting for you. When Simon had made a beeline for the truck the moment you returned from that afternoon’s run, it was a dead giveaway. Not to mention the fact that Negan had you hauled back the second he realized you’d snuck off in the first place.

Earlier that morning, you’d heard a group of the Sanctuary’s scavengers talking over breakfast. Today’s run was supposed to be through a neighborhood ten miles west of Alexandria. This was your chance. Your plan was to return, but only long enough to pack your things and get gone before anyone knew the wiser. The last thing you wanted was to create any more trouble for Rick and the others when all they’d ever done was help you.

Unfortunately, your entire plan went to shit when Negan had gotten in touch with Mike, the Savior who was leading the expedition. You’d overheard their conversation on the radio, listening as Negan ordered Mike to bring you back to the Sanctuary if he wanted to keep his balls attached to his dick. If Mike had been anyone else you might’ve felt bad for getting him into trouble, but he wasn’t. Mike was a Savior, and therefore not worth one damn bit of your sympathy.

He drove you back to the Sanctuary, bitching about the waste of fuel and resources the entire way, and when his truck pulled up right outside of the towering building, you turned to face him.

“If you were stupid enough to believe that he’d let me go in the first place, you deserve whatever you have coming.”

Mike snarled, opening his mouth to no doubt call you a bitch or a whore, but by the time the insult traveled from his pea brain to his mouth, you’d already opened the door to the passenger side and jumped down from the truck to an awaiting Simon.

“What is it about you?” Simon asked by way of greeting. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re hot as hell, but there are loads of hot women for him to choose from. Women whose job it is to please him. Why’s he so enamored with you?”

“Oh, enamored!” You exclaimed sarcastically, earning a glare from the man who had the bushiest mustache you’d ever had the displeasure of seeing. “Someone’s been brushing up on their vocabulary.”

When Negan’s right-hand man crossed his arms and raised an equally bushy eyebrow as he awaited your answer, you rolled your eyes and strode past him. “Just lucky, I guess.”

The truth was, you didn’t understand Negan’s obsession with you either, but it went all the way back to the night of the lineup. That night and the fear you’d felt as you anxiously awaited his arrival with the rest of Rick’s group would stay with you forever. You’d all heard plenty about the Saviors’ infamous leader, but none had ever crossed him. Once the group had honored their agreement with Hilltop and attacked what they’d thought was the Saviors’ only compound, you’d assumed Negan had been included in the body count.

That assumption had cost Glenn and Abraham their lives.

You would never admit it, not to Negan, not to yourself—not to anyone—but the moment that the door to the RV swung open, you were just as attracted to him as he was to you. He may have been the man that both Hilltop and the Kingdom had warned your group about, but even you couldn’t deny that he was beautiful—psychotic or not.

As hard as you tried to fight it, your attraction to him had only grown since that horrible night, and after finally succumbing to it when you’d shared a kiss with him just yesterday, you’d gone out of your way to put some distance between the two of you. Until now, when you knew that continuing to avoid him could result in something horrible for Alexandria.

“Well, look who it is!” Negan exclaimed as he appeared in the doorway, opening his arms wide. He was attempting to hide his anger at finding his bed empty that morning with his typical show of bravado, but deep within his hazel eyes, you knew that the anger was laced with something else.

Hurt?

No, it wasn’t possible.

No fucking way.

This was Negan. He wasn’t capable of that emotion.

You brushed those thoughts to the back of your mind, finding it very easy to act as if it hadn’t happened when he continued with his usual theatrics. After allowing him to lure you to his apartment with dinner and drinks the previous evening, Negan had convinced you to stay the night, and you’d agreed, mostly because you didn’t want anyone to catch you leaving his bedroom so late. The entire evening had been established as a way to pay him back after he’d agreed to let Dr. Carson go to Alexandria to treat Carl, who had developed pneumonia after going on a run in the rain with Daryl and Sasha.

When you woke up that morning, it was in Negan’s bed, but he’d at least played the part of the perfect gentleman and taken the couch, which made it easy for you to slip out just as the sun was rising, completely unnoticed.

“What do you want?” You snapped, annoyed.

Stepping back, Negan opened his door wider to let you in, the flash of emotion you’d just seen on his face quickly forgotten as his signature grin replaced it, stretching wide across his handsome face. Foolishly ignoring your conscience for the second time that day, you stepped forward, entering his apartment.

“Pretty sure you know the answer to that question.” He grinned.

“And you chose me rather than forcing yourself on one of your ‘wives’?” An exaggerated gasp left your lips as you placed a hand to your chest with mock pride. “I’m honored.”

Negan shut the door behind you and within seconds you could feel him on your heels, his warm breath ghosting the back of your neck. “You really think I need to force myself on anyone, darlin’?”

Ignoring his proximity, you moved away, stepping over to the kitchenette and mindlessly running your hand over the counter. Turning to face him now that you’d put some distance between the two of you, you crossed your arms over your chest and narrowed your eyes at him.

While Negan may not have noticed you leaving his bedroom that morning, someone else had. Sherry. The two of you had walked back to the cafeteria where she’d filled you in on how she had become Negan’s wife just a few weeks ago. It was an ultimatum that she’d agreed to in order to keep her real husband from receiving a worse punishment than the iron.

“I am not a rapist.” Negan continued defensively. “Every one of those women have come to me, willingly.”

“Willingly?” You scoffed, glaring at him in disbelief as your anger began to mount. “When you threaten to kill someone’s husband unless they agree to be your whore, that isn’t willingness, that’s desperation—and you fucking know it!”

Negan rubbed a hand down his jaw as he stared at you, but for once he didn’t have a witty comeback to toss your way. If the circumstances had been different, you would’ve celebrated such a victory. The man who never shut up, finally silenced? It certainly was a sight to see. As it was, you weren’t exactly in the mood for celebrating.

“That’s right, I talked to Sherry. Try again, asshole.”

For a moment he remained silent, tapping two fingers against his bottom lip as he appeared to be deep in thought. But when he met your eyes again and you watched as that wicked grin returned to his features, you knew that he felt no sense of shame, and your victory over him was short-lived.

“Ah, I know what this is . . .” He began, his deep, gravelly voice practically purring as he sauntered closer and lowered his hands to your hips. “You jealous, baby?”

Rolling your eyes in pure disgust, you covered your face with your hands, groaning loudly. “Oh, I fucking hate you!”

Negan’s grip moved from your hips to your forearms, gently pulling your hands away from your face. “We both know that’s not true.”

“Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe for a brief, absurd, fleeting moment I didn’t absolutely despise you last night—but that’s over. Done. I want to go home. I want to go back to Alexandria.”

For a moment, nothing was said. He worked his jaw as he took in your words, but refused to believe in them. “Not happening.”

“Why?” You hissed, pushing his hands away when he attempted to return them to your waist.

Negan frowned but didn’t reply.

You couldn’t believe that you’d managed to stump him twice in one night.

“I asked you a fucking question.”

“Take it easy.” He warned you.

“Take it easy?’” You laughed, outraged by how nonchalant he was being. Negan, who could put your potty mouth to shame, even on an off day. Nowhere near in the mood for this, you slammed your hands up against his chest, throwing all your weight forward and shoving him as hard as you could.

“Why the fuck not, Negan? Rick and the others have been killing themselves getting you everything you’ve asked for. They haven’t let you down once!”

Before you could fully remove your hands from his chest, he grabbed you by the wrists and pressed you to the wall, crowding your body with his.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You absolutely hated yourself for the abrupt feeling of desire warming in the pit of your stomach as he closed in on you, those dark eyes staring you down in a way that made your heart race.

“Because I’m not letting you go. Because it’s different with you. I felt it—you felt it. I fucking know that you felt it.” Raising his hand, he moved it forward to cup your chin, his thumb and forefinger dipping down to graze the sides of your neck. “And I haven’t fucked any of those women, not since you got here.”

“And what do you want for that? A prize?” You hissed, desperately trying to keep your train of thought on what was important. “This isn’t me being jealous of your harem, this is me being disgusted with you for taking advantage of these women in the first place.”

“Didn’t seem to bother you last night when you kissed me.” He murmured, his eyes darting down to your lips.

“You kissed me.” You corrected him.

“And you kissed me back.” He smirked.

Lowering his hands from your face, he placed them over your hips once more and pulled you flush against him, letting you feel what thoughts of the previous night were doing to him. You closed your eyes at the sensation as he molded your body to the erect outline of his cock, your resolve weakening.

“That was a mistake.” You whispered, hating the pathetic sound of your voice.

“You don’t believe that.” He argued.

Biting into your bottom lip, you swallowed hard but said no more, not sure that you could trust what might come out of your mouth next.

Suddenly, Negan scoffed. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”

Finally opening your eyes to look at him, you narrowed them into a glare, daring him to elaborate.

“I let you pick the job you wanted, excluded you from the point system. Hell, I even let you take that hick piece of trash’s place—"

At the mention of Daryl, you swung your hand out and slapped him across the face so hard that it left your palm numb and stinging. Negan’s head whipped to the side from the impact, and when he looked back at you, that smug smile was finally gone from his lips.

“Don’t you fucking call him that.”

Negan growled and in the blink of an eye, pressed you back once more, slamming his free hand against the space beside your head. Your back connected with the dry wall, a startled gasp leaving your lips as you stared up at him, wondering if you’d finally gone too far. Moving his hand to your throat, he gave it a gentle squeeze but even as you felt your heartbeat quicken from the contact, you weren't scared of him. This wasn't fear you felt, this was something else entirely, and when his eyes darkened and he lunged forward to roughly press his lips to yours, you kissed him back rather than allow yourself time to think about what that feeling was.

Negan’s kiss was hungry; his mouth devouring your lips, tongue, and every single moan that escaped you while his strong hands held your face far more gently than you’d ever thought him capable of. Opening and closing your mouth against his, you returned each of his kisses with equal fervor; a mixture of passion, anger, lust, hatred—every single emotion you’d ever felt for him, merging into one—your hands clutching his shoulders as he moved you from the wall and carefully backed you over towards his bed.

Gently breaking the kiss, Negan stared down the several inches he had on you, the look on his face very much resembling a starved man. With your eyes on his, you opened your mouth to speak when a sharp gasp left your mouth instead, his hands having found your ass and lifted you into the air against him before gently setting you down on his bed. Over the next moment or two he took his time removing your button-up flannel, tank top and jeans, his lips tenderly kissing every new inch of skin that became exposed to him.

Moving his hands to unclasp your bra, he let it drop to the side before lowering his body over yours. Negan had always considered himself an ass man, but with you he didn’t want to graze over a single body part. Pressing his lips to your neck, he used both hands to cup your beautiful breasts to his face, and you welcomed the rough feel of his calloused hands and warm tongue as his mouth lowered to each smooth mound long enough to tongue both of your nipples into stiff peaks. His hands continued their descent to your hips, your thighs, your ass, until finally he hooked his thumbs beneath your underwear and pulled it off.

Quickly removing his own shirt, Negan loomed over you, his eyes greedily taking in every inch of your body with a groan that let you know he was loving what he saw. Wasting absolutely no time, he grabbed you beneath your knees and dragged your ass to the center of the bed as he kneeled, pulling you close to his face and dipping his mouth between your legs. Breathing heavily as you allowed your body to recline against the pillows, you tilted your chin, watching as he skimmed the soft skin of your inner thighs, the scratch of his beard and feel of his lips teasing you mercilessly.

“Look at my beautiful girl,” He grunted in awe, groaning at the sight of you completely spread before him, pink and smooth and glistening with your slick arousal. You’d been wet from the moment you saw his face and heard his voice when he’d first opened that door, and if he’d given you any time to think it through you’d probably be a little embarrassed, but then he leaned forward to lay a sloppy kiss over your wet heat and all those thoughts of shame faded away.

“Fuck—" You cursed, tossing your head back as his mouth found your clit with ease, his tongue darting forward to caress the tiny bundle of nerves as he used his lips to suck it further into his mouth. Instinctively, your back arched and your hips lifted off the mattress to be closer to his skilled mouth as he feasted on you. Anticipating your response, Negan slid his hands beneath you to grip your perfect ass, anchoring your body to him with his hands and mouth as his eyes traveled up to your face. He’d waited far too long to see you at his mercy, and he wasn’t going to miss a goddamn second of it.

After a few more moments spent skillfully eating your pussy and learning just what you liked, one of the strong hands clutching your ass slid from beneath you and returned a second later when he thrust two of his long fingers inside of your tight cunt, stretching you. Negan lifted his head for a breath and groaned against you as he felt resistance meeting his knuckles.

“So fuckin’ tight, aren’t you, darlin’?”

Staring down at his beautiful face nestled between your thighs, you nodded eagerly, jerking your hips to the rhythm of his fingers as you shamelessly began to fuck yourself up and down on top of them. You wanted more—you wanted him—and anything less wasn’t going to satisfy you for long. Snaking a hand along your abdomen, you slid it up between your breasts and shoved a closed fist against your lips, biting the skin of your knuckle.

“Fuck,” He hissed, his eyes hooded with pleasure as he watched you move your beautiful body in sync with his fingers, your breasts bouncing with each movement as he curled his fingers inside you to graze that tightness within that left you writhing with pleasure. You were a goddamn treasure, and he was loving every second of this. “And so fuckin’ wet for me, too.”

Lowering his head once more, Negan lashed his tongue over your clit again and again, slowly but insistently while he continued thrusting his long fingers in and out. He could do this all goddamn night if that’s what it took, but with the way your body was starting to shake against his mouth and fingers, he knew you were close.

“Come for me, baby.” He breathed against you, twisting his fingers deep inside as he hummed over your clit. “Let go.”

“Oh, fuck—Negan!” You cried out, feeling that beautiful heat building up in your stomach and licking down to your core, your toes curling as your body began to jerk and spasm with the most intense pleasure you’d felt in years—maybe ever. Negan lapped up every bit of your release, taking his time as he cleaned you up, his graying beard and chin glistening as he climbed back up your body.

Your breathing was beginning to slow back down, but before you could get it back to normal you caught sight of his face and lifted your hips to pull him forward. Grasping his chin, you pulled him into a heated, messy kiss that he all too happily returned.

“You want me to fuck this pretty little pussy now?” Negan murmured against your lips before leaning forward to give you another soft, languid kiss. Hearing your eager moan of approval, he grinned onto your lips as he slid his tongue forward, letting you taste yourself. Tucking his hand behind your head, he threaded his fingers through your hair and gently tugged back so that your eyes were level with his.

“Then you’re gonna be a good girl and look at me while I do it.”

Negan watched as you processed his words and as your expression went from aroused, to pissed, then back to aroused again. But he knew that he had you. Of course, it was a risk, and if it hadn’t paid off he wasn’t sure he’d be strong enough not to beg for your forgiveness. Not allowing you any time to change your mind, he slipped his middle and index fingers forward to spread your slick folds, pressing his forehead to yours as he felt you shudder beneath him.

Not letting up, he found and stroked your swollen clit, rubbing torturous circles around it with the pad of his thumb and eliciting a sharp gasp from you. A beautiful, overwhelming shock went straight back to your core; your nerves still heightened and sensitive after everything he’d just done to you with his mouth.

“You want it?” Negan repeated himself, though his tone didn’t sound the least bit impatient. He was enjoying this far too much. Dipping his head, he pressed his lips to the smooth flesh of your breasts, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses across your taut, pink nipples.

“Negan . . .” You whined.

How had you become so desperate for this man? Your enemy? How could you let him touch you with hands that had murdered your friends? Kiss you with the same mouth that had humiliated Rick, time and time again? You hated begging, and you hated the idea of begging him of all people, but in that moment you needed him to fuck you more than you needed air to breathe.

“Not good enough, baby.” He murmured. “Let me hear you say it.”

Fucking prick.

Kicking your pride to the curb, you stared up at him and nodded quickly as your teeth found your bottom lip, your gaze going from his face to the erection in his pants, then back to his dark, hazel eyes.

“I need you, Negan.” You begged, practically whimpering as your hand splayed out against his chest to grip the dark, coarse hair that grew there. “Now.”

“That’s my good girl.” Negan praised you, another smirk taking over his features.

The floor creaked beneath his weight as he stepped down from the bed to unbuckle his belt, his jeans and boxers soon joining the pile of clothes on the floor. Spitting onto his palm, he took his massive cock into his hand and gave it a few leisurely strokes as he stared down at you. Jesus. He was just as huge as he’d always assured you, and part of you fucking hated him for that.

Climbing back over you, Negan captured your lips in another kiss as he slid between your thighs, slapping the thick tip of his cock over your clit a few times before inching himself inside of you, his eyes watching as your mouth fell open in a gasp; completely overwhelmed by the sudden fullness. Meeting each other’s gaze, you both slowed to stare at one another, clearly overwhelmed by just how fucking incredible it felt to finally be joined.

When you thought back to your fantasies of fucking Negan, you’d always wanted him to take you from behind, but it was clear that he wasn’t going for that. He absolutely would not provide you with any opportunity where you could pretend this wasn’t happening. The knowledge that he would only fuck you on his terms aggravated you to no end, but if you were being honest with yourself, you loved watching his reactions to the things your bodies did together. The way his brow furrowed as he thrust forward; the way his lips parted to elicit a husky groan of bliss when he finally buried his cock deep within you. And that smile. That insufferable, shit-eating grin that spread over his face, dimples shining through his scruff, all while his eyes stayed locked on yours. You wanted to slap it off and kiss it all at the very same time.

“Jesus-fuckin’-Christ,” Negan hissed, thrusting his narrow hips forward and burying his cock deep inside what had to be the sweetest, tightest heaven he’d ever had the pleasure of fucking. He looked down, mesmerized as he watched your tight cunt swallow him whole, in and out, over and over, delighting in the sounds you made as he stretched you inch by inch and you lifted your legs to wrap around the back of his thighs and ass.

“Uhh, Negan! Mmm . . .”

Your body reacted instantly to everything he did, your hands clutching his chest as you rolled your hips against his again and again, giving as good as you got. This man might be a monster, but he knew exactly what your body needed, and for right now that was enough to help you temporarily forget all the things that he’d done to the people you loved.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so fuckin’ good,” Negan hummed, digging his fingers into your hips as he steadied himself, pulling them just how he needed as he set up a steady rhythm. The sounds of his grunts and the wet, obscene noise of his cock going in and out of your pussy as it impaled you at such a delicious angle grew louder, and you could only pray that no one was loitering around in the hallway when you cried out his name while he fucked you harder, deeper, and better than anyone else ever had or could.

“Say it again,” Negan grunted, leaning over your body to gently palm your throat, pinning you in place as he used his other hand to swipe his thumb over your clit. “Fuckin’ say my name, baby. ”

“Negan,” You cried, not even ashamed as you felt him circling hard at your clit. “Fuck, Negan, fuck!”

Every time your hips rose to meet his—your movements, your expressions, your cries, his name on your lips, everything you were, everything you did—it all pushed him further to the edge. Anticipating that you were close, he quickened his pace, knowing that he wouldn’t be far behind.

“Look at me while you come all over my cock, pretty girl.” He demanded as he moved his hand from your throat to your mouth to trace your plush, swollen lips.

As if out of instinct, you flicked your tongue forward, lashing over the pad of his thumb and earning a low growl from him when you did exactly as he said, holding his gaze as he teased your climax from you, that delicious warmth fluttering through your stomach, then down further as your cunt pulsated and throbbed over his cock through every wave of your pleasure.

Gripping your hips, Negan moaned with you, lost entirely in your gaze as he chased his own release. Lowering his head, he met your lips once more in a bruising kiss as his cock swelled inside of your cunt and he spilled himself deep inside of you with several, brutal strokes.

Finally spent, Negan rolled to the side, reclining against the mattress and breathing deeply as he rested his hand over his abdomen. For a moment the two of you laid in peaceful silence, but only for a moment. Finally coming down from your high, you moved your palms to the mattress, about to push yourself up when Negan grabbed your right hand.

“Stay.” He said softly.

Quickly looking over at him, you frowned, about to shake your head no when he gripped you harder.

“Look, you can go back to goddamn hating me tomorrow. Just . . . just give me tonight first.” He pleaded.

Watching closely as he held your gaze, you found yourself at a loss for words. In that moment, Negan was being completely vulnerable, and he was letting you see that—more than that, he was begging you to stay. After a few seconds, he looked down, assuming you were going to deny him anyway, when you suddenly squeezed his hand back.

Rather than answer right away, you took his face in your hands and leaned forward to press a slow, tender kiss to his lips. When you broke it a few seconds later, you opened your eyes to find him staring at you searchingly.

“Tonight," You promised. “You can have tonight.

#negan smut #negan x female reader #negan x reader #negan smith smut #negan smith x female reader #negan smith x reader #negan x you #negan smith x you #the walking dead smut #twd smut #negan fanfiction #negan fanfic #negan smith fanfiction #negan smith fanfic #jeffrey dean morgan #twd negan

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azureandcrimson · 27 days

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LMK Headcanons!!

Just some (a lot of) headcanons of mine I wanted to share! :] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wukong can sleep through a full on war, in any position any place. Macaque absolutely can not, he has to be somewhere safe, quiet, and he has to feel protected to get any sleep. Macaque and Redson have Sensory Issues.

Redson has gold blood. Macaque trained and/or adopted Spindrax (HER NAME TRANSLATES INTO PRINCESS SHADOWS IN JAPENSE AND INTO PHANTOM SPIDER IN TAIWANESE, HOW COULD I REFUSE THE CHANCE?!) And he also adopts or is a Mother/Father figure to Bai He (Mamacaque) Macaque, Redson and Mei all have burn scars, Macaque from Diyu, Redson from his fire powers and Mei from the Samadhi Fire. Wukongs ex's are Spider Queen and Azure, and, Macaques ex is Scorpion Queen. Mk is Trans Masc and Gay. Macaque is Trans Masc, Non-Bianary and Bisexual. Wukong is Trans Fem, Gender-Fluid and Pansexual. Redson is Gender-Fluid and Bisexual. Sandy is Pansexaul and Asexual. Mei is Lesbian. Spindrax is Lesbian. Pigsy is Bisexual. Tang is Gay. Bai he is Trans Fem. Macaque, Princess Iron Fan, Chang'e and Mei. They all meet up and gossip, have a texting group too (There going to go to jail for what they text to each other if it ever get's out to public) Macaque and Wukong got shoved into Sandys cat therapy by Mei, Chang'e, Mk and Princess Iron Fan after Season 4, (Then Mk also started to go after Season 5) Macaque has a pet Flerken named Estelle (I'M BREAKING THE MULTIVERSE, YOU CAN'T STOP ME) Macaque's a Pyromaniac and has burned himself on purpose has a record for Arson!! :3 After Macaques revival. He doesn't have a heartbeat anymore, and, he's always has a freezing cold temperature, he's cold no matter how hot it is outside, or how many blankets he has, he can only be warmed by other body heat (but he's touch averse) or fire (That's how he got obsession with fire). Then you have Wukong and Redson who are like personal heaters 24/7. After LBD. Macaques head was fuzzy, his memories we're all over the place, he didn't know real from fake, he eventually had breakdowns, trying to figure out right from wrong. Wukongs War Form. (WE NEED TO SEE IT HELLO??) I think it would have three tails, three heads, four arms, a gold color with red accents + White eyes and Claws. Mk also has four ears, three tails he can hide in his monkey form. Macaque can hide his emotions really well, but when he's feeling uneasy, nervous or panicked his Shadow Powers will swirl around him and flicker. Some Headcanons of their Favorite Songs!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Macaque - Girl With One Eye, Contards Solution, Drunk-Dazed, Dead Girl Walking (HE'S THE ULTIMATE BILLIE ELISH AND AYESHA AND ISABEL LAROSA FAN!!) Mk - Mr Sunshine is dead, Juliet Redson - Alejandro Wukong - Ex's & Oh's, UNBELIVEABLE, Everybody Loves Me. Mei - HOT TO GO! Some Headcanon Fears!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wukong - Fear of Death. Fear of being Forgotten. Fear of Small Spaces. Macaque - Fear of Failure. Fear of Thunder/Lightning. A small fear of Small Spaces. Fear of being Abandoned. Fear of Losing Control (He's already lost control once. He can't afford to do it again.) Mk - Fear of Spiders. Fear of Abandoned. Tang - Fear of Women/jk, I'm joking I swear. Fear of being left behind. Redson - Fear of Failure. Fear of Imperfection. Fear of being Abandoned. He had a fear of Water that Mei and Mk helped him get over. Fear of Being Alone (Sense the Samadhi Fire when he was young) Mei - Fear of being Forgotten.

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anemoiashifts · 4 months

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humanizing your desired reality.

made one of these months ago on tiktok so im remastering it for here (˵•̀⤙•́˵)૭

harry potter ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

✧ getting up early for class.

✧ working with dangerous objects / spells.

✧ navigating schools layout.

✧ living beside a forest with potentially dangerous beings.

✧ school being linked to multiple (students) deaths.

✧ pulling all nighters to study for exams & homework.

✧ being separated from non-magic folk.

✧ seemingly strict with large punishment.

marvel ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

✧ putting life at risk.

✧ unreliable scheduling.

✧ seeing friends, family & people getting injured.

✧ the balancing of two lives.

✧ always feeling like something is coming / something always being after you.

✧ lack of (openness in) therapy

✧ inability to open up without endangering loved ones.

supernatural ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

✧ endangering self & others.

✧ survivors guilt.

✧ lack of permanent home & space — always moving & traveling.

✧ little to no personal space.

✧ little time to mourn d3ath.

✧ being on call 24/7

✧ little sense of security or safety.

hunger games ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

✧ being exposed to death & violence so young.

✧ starvation & dehydration.

✧ weaponizing your loved ones.

✧ physical & emotional stress / trauma.

✧ possible imposture syndrome.

✧ heavy surveillance, always being watched.

✧ never being able to predict what's going to happen.

✧ never being able to 100% trust the people around you.

the walking dead ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

✧ never knowing when "the end" is coming.

✧ injury, infection.

✧ watching yourself & others deteriorate & not being able to do anything about it.

✧ abandoning your home & shelter.

✧ lack of stable / scarce food & water supply.

✧ the smell.

✧ discomfort of bodily horror.

stranger things ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

✧ the stigma of therapy / asking for help.

✧ dealing with virtually unknown creatures.

✧ knowingly endangering yourself on your own or simply by association.

✧ fear of the unknown.

✧ the feeling of "never ending" & not knowing what else is coming.

✧ managing school onto of saving the world.

✧ the adjustment of not having modern technology

american horror story ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

— mixture of / general for all seasons

✧ never knowing what's coming.

✧ having to cope with supernatural.

✧ never truly being alone.

✧ possibly never getting answers.

✧ not being believed.

✧ loved ones / friends turning against you.

✧ lack of evidence.

✧ people dismissing your experiences.

✧ dying & being attached to a space, never allowing you to leave.

✧ bodily horror.

fame dr ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

✧ constantly having eyes on you, being judged.

✧ lack of privacy.

✧ social pressure.

✧ stalkers & paparazzi.

✧ not being able to do things that you're used to — target shopping, out to dinner , going on vacation — without attracting groups of people.

✧ being a safety hazard.

✧ being seen as a character or brand instead of a person.

✧ lack of free time.

✧ words being twisted.

✧ little sympathy towards you, dismissal of problems.

#desired reality #reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting #shiftok #shifting motivation #shifting realities #shifter

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sugolara · 2 years

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𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝

Feat. Katsuki Bakugo x Shoto Todoroki x Izuku Midoriya x fem! reader

An ongoing series.

Synopsis: After a deadly virus leaks all over the world, every country is forced to close down its borders and airports to prevent anyone from coming in and out. Though, it's too late for some people. The dead have risen and are looking for revenge.

Cw: gore, quirkless! au, apocalypse! au, zombie! au, weapons, death, angst, lots and lots of blood, cannibalism, suicidal thoughts, updates thursday/sunday, slow burn, cross-posted on ao3, wattpad, qoutev

BEING HEAVILY EDITED

Inspired by, ''The Walking Dead''

playlist!

" Space Junk - Wang Chung " Wolf - First Aid Kit " Into The Black - Chromatics " My Life In Rewind - Eagulls " Hush - Trills " Bad Before Good - Dayone " Run Boy Run - Woodkid " You're So Cool - Jonathan Bree " So Bored - Gorgeous Bully " Operations - Duster " Blue Light - Mazzy Star " Civilian - Wye Oak " Can't Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers " Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses " Skyfall - Adele " Struggling Man - Emily Kinney (original: Jimmy Cliff) " The Last Pale Light In The West - Ben Nichols " Up The Wolves - The Mountain Goats " Blackbird Song - Lee DeWyze " Be Gone Dull Cage - Kiev " Into Dust - Mazzy Star " Warm Shadow - Fink " Tomorrow Is a Long Time - Bob Dylan " Poison Tree - Grouper " Rhymes Of An Hour - Mazzy Star " You Are The Wilderness - Voxhaul Broadcast " Running - Delta Spirit " People, Turn around - Delta Spirit " The Lion's Roar - First Aid Kit " Pain - Boy Harsher " The Setup - Favored Nations " The Old Death - Ben Nichols " Revolution - Red Shahan " The Man Who Sold The World - Nirvana " Beautiful Mess - Balian " The Day The World Went Away - Nine Inch Nails " Mr. Splitfoot - Paris Motel " Empty Words - Bowery Electric " No Longer Making Time - Slowdive " Step Away from the Cliff - Blue-Eyed Son " Paradise - Silverberg " Take Care (To Comb Your Hair) - Ty Segall " Glad I Had a Friend - Galt MacDermot " Machine Gun - Portishead " Shadows of Planes - Duster " No Peace at All - Aldous Harding " Save Us from Ourselves - Digital Daggers " I'm No Heroine - Emily Wells " Salt in the Wound - Delta Spirit " It's All Right - Sam Cooke " To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra " 6 Underground - Sneaker Pimps " Edge Of The World - Dayshell " Bye Bye Bye - School of Seven Bells " Arsonist Lullaby - Hozier " It's All Over - Johnny Cash " The Stars Just Blink For Us - Say Hi " Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division " Knockin' On Heaven's Door - Guns N' Roses " Runnin' Down a Dream - Tom Petty " Fly Like An Eagle - Steve Miller Band " You Are Not Alone - Mavis Staples " Welcome - Harmonia & Eno ‘76’ " Hope We Can Again - Nine Inch Nails " outside - Oneheart " sleepless - Odyzon " Alesund - Sun Kil Moon " Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd " Don Abandons Alice - John Murphy " Wicked Game - Chris Isaak " Rule of Rose OST - Playing Airship " 1908 - Repulsive " I Shall Cross This River - The Black Atlantic " Easy Way Out - Low Roar " Wherever You Are - Ulrich Schnauss " Waitin' Round to Die - Townes Van Zandt

table of contents:

Season 1: Episode 1: Begin Episode 2: Not alone Episode 3: Gone but not forgotten Episode 4: You belong in this world Episode 5: Because all life is precious Episode 6: Musutafu, we'll meet again Episode 7: Izuku: I'd always thought there be more time

Season 2: Episode 8: During these two weeks Episode 9: Diopside, like your eyes Episode 10: For the first time in a long time Episode 11: Almost complete Episode 12: Determined to survive, stay alive Episode 13: Fear Episode 14: Katsuki: You are going to beat this world

Season 3: Episode 15: Away with you Episode 16: Three months ago Episode 17: Slowly withering away Episode 18: Don't die, not yet Episode 19: How long before I’m alone Episode 20: Nothing else to lose Episode 21: Shoto: Everything you would be will be gone

Season 4: Episode 22: Trouble Episode 23: For however long that'll be Episode 24: Searching Episode 25: The fallen city Episode 26: Stay who you are Episode 27: All together Episode 28: F/n: With you beside me

Season 5: Episode 29: Here Episode 30: Cruel Episode 31: Too loud Episode 32: Back on road Episode 33: All is lost Episode 34: Safe in your arms Episode 35: And so it begins Episode 36: At stake Episode 37: Sorry or whatever Episode 38: Familiar eyes

Season 6: Episode 39: A relief Episode 40: Upcoming trouble Episode 41: Never to easy Episode 42: To good for death Episode 43: Old memories Episode 44: A stroke of luck Episode 45: Be aware Episode 46: Bait Episode 47: A thump in my heart Episode 48: Belong to me Episode 49: One step closer (Towards you)

Season 7: Episode 50: Sorston Episode 51: Tenderness Episode 52: Here to stay Episode 53: The start Episode 54: Crushed Episode 55: Reporting to duty Episode 56: Good morning and goodbye Episode 57: An end to sorrow, grief & regret Episode 58: On the move Episode 59: Confirmation Episode 60: The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

Season 8: Episode 61: Not who you were Episode 62: Just you and me Episode 63: The Plaza Episode 64: The other side Episode 65: To be ready Episode 66: You're here Episode 67: So long, my dear Episode 68: Discard me Episode 69: Secrets you'll soon share Episode 70: I wish you nothing but the best Episode 71: For as long as I live Episode 72: Goodness and kindness can't survive, at least not in the world I dreamed of

Season 9: Episode 73: I'll see you in a while Episode 74: So wait for me Episode 75: Hushed secrets

To be continued...

Book one: Welcome To The New World Book two: To The One You Left Behind

taglist: @mikeyswifie @k0z3me @sky-angel101 @stevenknightmarc @nahwajinswhore @mn-0p @a-helen113 @azrral @mary-jinx @chixkadee @flowers-4-you @im-the-groot

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dearmrshudson · 5 months

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The post of saddest(?) supernatural moment gave me the idea to maka a list of my own... You know, an honest list which will not push any agenda or exclude one of the main character completely to forcefully feed to a romantic pair which does not even exist.

so here it goes-

10. Dean's reaction after Sam's death in 13x21 :

This one is so nominal and insignificant to be in this list and not one of top moments for a lot, but this scene ripped my heart open when I saw it for the first time. It manages to show us how Dean's whole world will literally fall apart and make him an empty vessel if Sam is gone and he can do nothing about it - and Jensen manages to portray it with just a walk, two blank eyes and then one drop of tear. Kudos.

9. Church Scene in 'Sacrifice' (8x23):

Anyone who has not cried in this scene? Perfeftly shows the core of the show, the deep love between two brothers- despite all the reasons, all the idiological differences, all the mature discussion and all- Sam is the baby brother of Dean; at the end he needs Dean to be there as a big bro, to tell him to let it go, to clutch him in his chest. Ultimately they will always choose each other and nothing else will come between them.

8. Dean's death in 9x23:

One of the saddest death of Dean, and perhaps it comes to this list because of the build-up and drama follows this. Both had their own reasons for the tension they had this whole season, but when the tragedy comes it hits so hard that all those logics fell apart. It scares to peep in Sam's headspace at this time of dean's dying- imagine you discarding the person you love the most as you are reasonably angry with him, and in a few days he is dying in your arms when you have hardly talked out your differences.

7. Why don’t you believe in us too (14x12) :

Probably should come much later in this list, but this scene stood out in my eyes because it was such a fresh air in the terrible plotless mimicry that SPN had become in later seasons. The scene after ages which sums up Sam and Dean, the codependent brothers whom we had forgotten. Such a long time after we see Sam the little brother, witness the emotional turmoil he was going through silently and how it exploded. The only scene which makes season 14 worth remembering. Also Jared just nailed this scene!

6.) Dead or Alive (3x16):

This scene breaks my heart in pieces. Dean bravely going for the last fight before the horrible death he will be facing. And he trying to cheer up baby bro, he wants the last memory with his brother to be in this car- singing along together... How his face slowly glooms at the end and his eyes full of fear... Early seasons really were gems!

5. Sam in Mystery spot (3x11) :

Undoubtedly one of the best SPN episode with perfect blend of mystery, fun, laughter, tragedy and emotion... The funny vibe of the episode ends in a moment when we see Sam is not waking up from the nightmare loop. Then we see a robot- a scary robot who only wants to get his brother back at any cost. This episode is yet another example of how Sam loves Dean just as fiercely as Dean does, and he is not any less codependent.

4. Barn scene and alone Sam (15x20) :

God! What can I say about this!

Just want to add, Sam wandering alone in the bunker after creamating Dean hurts me equally.

3. John's death (2x01):

Cannot forget this one. This episode happens to be another favourite of mine, and the way John sacrifices himself for his son proves that a father can go to any extent for his children. The farewell scene of John - where he asks for forgiveness and goodbye to dean without him understanding brings tears to my eyes. Such a beautiful acting by JDM and so realistic portrayal of a flawed, helpless and loving father.

2. End of Season 5 (5x22)

The ground was set, the battle was about to begin, the ultimate faceoff between Lucifer and Michael was going to start- then what happens? A stubborn idiot boy with a muscle car and hellbent attitude comes in between- knowing that he cannot survive this- just because one of these celestial entities have captured his brother as a vessel and he won’t leave his brother alone. Till his last drop of blood he keeps on trying- trying to reach his brother who is trapped under something much bigger- keeps on telling that It's okay, he is not alone, his big brother is here. And guess what, he succeed. His brother broke free the bind of one of the strongest entity of universe and fought. The climax scene gives me goosebump always followed by a bunch of grief and saddness the ending carries. Had season 5 been the last season of SPN, and this be the exact way the series ended, I would absolutely have no regret!

1. Sammy's first Death (2x21):

No matter how many sad scenes are perfectly executed in SPN, nothing can exceed the emotion of this one. Jensen will also not be able to exceed the level of performance be set in this particular scene. Period.

So this is it... I must have excluded many. And turns out my list is full of Sam and Dean only and I am also not unbiased 🤣🤣 Well, there are sad scenes that do not involve only the brothers and I still like them, but not my top 10. Maybe have to make list of top 11 to 20 in order to include them. 😁

Please share your favourite saddest top 10 as well.

#supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #sam and dean #john winchester #spn #jensen ackles #j2 #anti destiel #top 10 list #jared padalecki #best episode

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suckerfordylansstuff · 1 month

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New Journey (S.H.) Chapter 8 Season 4

Pairing: Steve Harrington x henderson!reader

Summary: Back to Hawkins for spring break. Y/n believed it would just be a quiet time to cherish with her loved ones, but one day in and another mess had already began.

Warnings: cursing

Notes: I warned you that due to my vacation I was probably going to miss a day or two, but we're back. Sorry for keeping you waiting but here is the new chapter and a sweet moment between our couple. Please enjoy the chapter and stay safe 💕

Chapter 7 << Masterlist >> Chapter 9

Dustin was the one to wake you up in the morning. At first, you couldn’t concentrate, your tiredness easily pulling you back to sleep, but that only lasted for a moment. When the memories of yesterday came back, you couldn’t go back to sleep. You got up and went to check on Nancy. She was already up, sitting on the bed waiting. When you walked in, she looked you in the eye and you knew this was going to be a difficult conversation.

“He showed me things that haven’t happened yet. The most awful things. I saw… a dark cloud spreading over Hawkins. Downtown on fire. Dead soldiers. And this… this giant creature with… a gaping mouth. And this creature wasn’t alone. There were so many monsters. An army. And they were coming into Hawkins. Into our neighborhoods. Our homes. And then… He showed me my mom. And Holly. Mike. And they… They were all-” Nancy’s emotions left her unable to continue.

You were standing near Dustin, listening carefully to her words as she explained to you what had happened yesterday with Vecna. But reliving it wasn’t easy, you knew that all too well.

“Okay, but… he’s just trying to scare you, Nancy. Right? I mean… I mean, it’s not real.” Steve tried to comfort her, but it didn’t work.

“Not yet. But there- there was something else. He showed me gates. Four gates. Spreading across Hawkins. And these gates, they looked like the one outside of Eddie’s trailer, but they didn’t stop growing. And this wasn’t the Upside Down Hawkins. This was our Hawkins. Our home.”

“Four chimes. Vecna’s clock. It always chimes four times. Four exactly.” Max said and Nancy nodded at her words.

“I heard them too.”

“He’s been telling us his plan this whole time.” Max came to the realization, making you all fill with fear.

“Four kills. Four gates. End of the world.” Lucas thought out loud before you heard your brother speak from beside you.

“If that’s true… he’s only one kill away.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.” Eddie said, his tone scared, perfectly capturing how you were all feeling right now.

“Try ‘em again. Try ‘em again.” Steve signaled Max to punch in Joyce’s number again. You have no idea how many times you have tried to contact them. All you knew is that each time there was no answer, just like now.

“Anything?” you asked and bit your lip when you saw Max shake her head.

“No. Rang a few times, then went to busy signal.”

“Maybe you punched it in wrong. Try again.” Steve told her, but she immediately argued back.

“I didn’t punch it in wrong.”

“Well, I don’t know.” Steve looked desperate, but Max turned around, calling the number again just to show him she had done it right.

“Dude, I think she knows how to use a phone.” Dustin commented and Steve rolled his eyes.

“I’m just saying, she could’ve typed it in wrong.”

“Same shit.” Max hangs up the phone and you let out a sigh.

“How is that possible?” Lucas asks you all.

“I told you; Joyce has this telemarketer job. She’s always on the phone. Mike won’t stop whining about it.” you shake your head at Dustin’s words.

“No. Nuh-uh. No way. Not being able to reach them for three days is not mathematically possible. We’ve tried every single hour of the day. This isn’t Joyce, it’s something else.”

“She’s right. It can’t be just a coincidence. It can’t be.” Nancy agreed with you, getting up from her seat and walking to the window behind her “Whatever’s happening in Lenora is connected to all of this. I’m sure of it. But Vecna can’t hurt them. Not if he’s dead.” she turns back to you, a determined look in her eye “We have to go back in there. Back to the Upside Down.”

At the sound of her words, Eddie and Steve began arguing back, not liking the idea of going back there. You stood off the chaos, your brain trying to find another solution. Even though you feared there was no other way.

“Let’s think this through, okay?” Steve was now standing up, looking at Nancy who got irritated at his suggestion.

“What is there to think through?”

“We barely made it out of there in one piece.” Steve said.

“Yeah, because we weren’t prepared. But this time, we will be. We’ll get weapons and protection. We’ll go through the gate, we’ll find his lair, and we’ll kill him.” Nancy replied, but Steve wasn’t backing down.

“Or he’ll kill us. The only reason that you survived is because he wanted you to. He’s not scared of us.” he finished and Robin jumped up from her seat on the floor and into the conversation.

“And for good reason. We were wrong about Vecna. Henry. One. Sorry, what are we calling him now?” she received different answers from all of you “Right. We’ve learned something new about Vecna/Henry/One. He’s a number like Eleven, only a sick, evil, made, child-murdering version of her with really bad skin. But- but- but- My point is, he’s super powerful. He could turn us inside out with a snap of his fingers. It’s not a fair fight.”

“So then why fight fair? You’re right, he’s like Eleven. But that gives us an upper hand. We know Eleven’s strengths. And weaknesses.”

“Weaknesses?” Erica questioned Dustin’s words.

“When El remote-travels, she goes into this sort of trance-like state. I bet the same is true of Vecna.” he explained and Lucas chimed in.

“That could explain what he was doing in that attic.”

“Exactly. When he attacks his next victim, I’ll bet you he’s back in that attic, physical body defenseless.”

“Defenseless? Yeah? What about the army of bats?” Steve argued, pointing at the scar on his neck. Even though you hated how hurt he got, you couldn’t agree with him on this.

“We’ll fight them off.” you finally spoke up, eyes all on you “Distract them, somehow. Gain their attention so we can slip through to Vecna.”

“And, uh, how do we do that, exactly?” Eddie tried to get up from the couch he was sitting on but immediately sat back down when he heard your not-so-helpful explanation.

“I don’t know. But once they’re gone, we have our chance.”

“It’ll be like slaying sleeping Dracula in his coffin.” Dustin said after you.

“You think this is a good idea?” Steve asked you and you shrugged your shoulders.

“I think this is our only idea.”

“That all sounds good in theory, but there is no pattern to Vecna’s killings. I mean, at least on one that I can decipher. We don’t know when he’s going to attack next. We don’t even know who he’s going to attack.” Robin tells you, bringing up a good point.

“Yeah, we do.” you look up and stare at Max “I can still feel him. I’m still marked. Cursed. I ditch Kate Bush, I draw his focus back to me.”

“Max. You can’t. He’ll kill you.” Lucas tells her, eyes sad, not even bearing the thought of reality behind his words.

“I survived before. I can survive again. I just need to keep him busy long enough so that you guys can get into that attic. Then you can chop his head off. Stab him in the heart. Blow him up with some explosive Dustin cooks up. I honestly don’t care how you put this asshole in his grave. Just… whatever it is… whatever you do… try not to miss.” you felt the responsibility lay on your shoulders, and you made the silent promise to protect her and everyone in this room at all costs. No matter your outcome.

So, once again the planning began. First of all, you needed weapons. Loads of them. And Eddie knew just the place to get them.

“Check this out. The War Zone.” he sets down on the table the phone book and you lean over his shoulder to see what he is pointing at “I’ve been there once. It’s huge. They got everything you need for, uh… well, killing things, basically.”

“Do you think fake Rambo has enough guns there? Is that a grenade? I mean, how is any of this legal?” Robin asked you and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Well, lucky for us it is, so… this- this place is just far enough outside of Hawkins. As long as we steer clear of the main roads, we oughta be able to avoid cops and, uh, angry hicks.” Eddie said.

“If we’re trying to avoid angry hicks, maybe we shouldn’t go to some store called the War Zone.” Erica raised a good point, making Dustin point at her.

“Normally, I’d agree, but we need the weapons. So… I think it’s worth the risk.”

“Me too.” Lucas agreed with Nancy.

“Yeah, but is it worth the time? It’ll take all day to bike there and back.” Dustin asked the group and Eddie answered back.

“Who said anything about bikes?” you looked at Eddie with confusion in your eyes.

“What, you got some car we don’t know about?” Steve asked with irony in his tone.

“It’s not exactly a car, Steve. It’s not exactly mine but, uh… it’ll do.” he said with a smirk on his lips before turning to Max “Hey, Red, uh, you got a ski mask or a bandanna, something like that?”

Max indeed had something he could use. She digs out of her room her old Halloween mask of Michael Myers and Eddie puts it on to hide his face from anyone who might accidentally spot you. You get out of the trailer and start following after Eddie. You end up at a van across the park, the couple living there were sitting right outside listening to the radio, so you carefully made your way to the other side without being seen.

Eddie opens the window and throws himself in. You shake your head as you walk to the window.

“I can’t believe we’re stealing a van.”

“Believe it.” Steve told you and helped you get inside before heading in himself. You land on top of the built-in couch, thankful that it wasn’t the hard floor.

“Y/n, help!” you hear Dustin whisper-yell at you, so you turn around and grab his hand pulling him inside with as much power as you had. After you made sure the rest were getting in without any trouble, you followed Eddie and Steve to the front, watching in shock as Eddie hot-wires the van.

“Where’d you learn how to do this?” Steve asks him.

“Well, when the other dads were teaching their kids how to fish or play ball, my old man was teaching me how to hot-wire. Now, I swore to myself I wouldn’t wind up like he did, but now I’m wanted for murder, and soon, grand theft auto. So, uh, you know, I’m really living up to that Munson name.” it was obvious he wasn’t very fond of his father, if not by his words then definitely by his tone, still you couldn’t help but be impressed by his quick technique.

“Impressive.” you tell him and feel a set of hands land on your shoulders. You turn your head and see Robin behind you.

“Uh, Eddie? I’m not sure I love the idea of you driving.”

“Oh, I’m just starting this sucker. Harrington’s got her. Don’t ya, big boy?” Eddie looks up at Steve with big smirk on his face, making Steve confused. Eddie however doesn’t pay attention to your faces, and finally starts the van, music interrupting the quiet immediately making you targets “Saddle up, Henderson.” Eddie tells you with the same smirk before you start hearing yelling from outside.

The couple had finally realized there were intruders in their van and began knocking on the windows to stop you. You do as Eddie told you and hurry to buckle yourself in the passenger’s seat while Steve motions for Eddie to get out of the driver's one so he can start the car.

“It’s just a car.” he tells himself, building up the courage to drive this thing before addressing the rest of the group “Everybody, hang on to something!”

“Steve!” you call out for him when you make the mistake of looking at the woman who was cursing you for stealing her van. The angry look on her face makes you anxious and full of guilt.

“Drive, Steve! Drive!” Dustin yelled and the car finally started going. It was a harsh start so you held on to everything that your hands could reach “Shit, they look pissed.” Dustin pointed out when he saw the owners from the back window.

“It’s not everyday you lose your house and car in one fell swoop.” Robin said.

“Hold on! Hold on!” Steve warns you and harshly turns the car, hitting some garbage cans in the process. He groans as he makes one final turn, exiting the trailer park and getting on the road, tires endlessly screeching.

You were an hour into the trip, silence overtaking the vehicle. You were looking around the road, staring at the trees passing by, when your eyes shifted over to Steve. He looked more relaxed behind the wheel now than he did when the journey first began.

“You doing okay?” you ask him and for a second he turns his head to look at you, before returning back forward to focus on the road.

“Not half bad… considering this is a house.” he jokes and you giggle. The sound of your laughter ignites a very precious thought he’s had for quite a while, only now feeling the courage he needed to share it. With everything that’s happening it’s better to tell you now than be too late “Yeah, it’s… it’s silly, but I- I’ve actually… I always had this dream that I’d have this really… really big family. I’m talking, like, a full brood of Harringtons. Like, five, six, kids.”

“Six kids?” you stare at him, mouth open in shock.

“Yeah. Six little nuggets. Three girls, three boys. And- and then every summer, I figured all of us Harringtons, we would pack into something like this and… just see the country. You know, the Rockies, Grand Canyon, maybe Yellowstone. End up in some beachside town in California. Spend a week parked in the sand. Learn how to surf or something.” a small fond smile appeared on your face as you listened to him, but you still weren’t able to let down the number.

“Well, that all sounds great, but I can’t carry six kids.”

“Who says I’m talking about you?” Steve asks humorously and you scoff at his teasing.

“Oh really? Okay, so then you better go find that someone, because I’m not doing it.”

“Come on, we did a great job with these ones.” he points to the back, obviously talking about the kids.

“This is different. They’re grown, not babies. I went through it with Dustin, trust me it is no easy job.”

“I don’t know. I feel like if you’re with the right person, it’s easy.” you couldn’t help but blush at his words. However, you also couldn’t control the laughter that came over you when you started analyzing your current situation “What?” he asks you confused over your reaction.

“I just can’t believe you’re telling me about starting a family together, but the idea of moving in together scares you.” you didn’t want to make him feel bad with your laughter. If you were being honest, you had gotten over that a long time ago. If he wasn’t ready for such a big step, you wouldn’t force it upon him. You loved him, and your relationship, and that was enough for you.

Steve, on the other hand, was biting his lip knowing he had to speak to you about the misunderstanding and explain to you what was actually going through his head at that moment “Y/n, about that, I-” your smile died down when you realized his voice was smaller than you had expected “When you asked me that, I didn’t hesitate because of you… I hesitated because of myself.”

“What do you mean?” your eyebrows scrunch.

“I need you to believe me that I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to move in with you, it’s just… I’m afraid I’m not enough for the world outside of Hawkins. Here… it’s secure. Here I have a job, a house, my friends. Out there I’m no one. I have no skills to show for myself, I’m- I’m useless.” your heart breaks at his words. You hadn’t realized this is what concerned him. If you knew you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did. God, you feel like an idiot. Especially when you easily see through him and understand where this was coming from.

“These aren’t your words, honey.” it wasn’t hard to decipher his words. You’ve had the ‘dad talk’ plenty of times, and it always starts with another one of his dad’s comments about Steve’s education and/or his job. There is one specific word he uses when he speaks with his son: useless. You hate that word so much; it sickens you to your core. Because Steve is anything but that.

“Is he wrong?” his voice breaks and your hand grabs his free one, desperately wanting to console him.

“Yes.” your voice is stern, and your eyes never move from the side of his face. He couldn’t bear to face you, because if he did even for a second the tears would spill out before he could stop them “Because he doesn’t know you. Not the way I do. We do.” you point to yourself, and the others at the back “You are smart, and strong, and capable of achieving anything you wish to. And I know that because I know how determined you are. Steve, you have risked your life so many times for us just because you wanted to. That night at the Byers’ house, you came back to help us even after we told you to leave, even after you were scared. You stayed. You faced your fear back then and you can do it again. And this time I will never leave your side. I love you, Steve. More than you know, and I want to help you chase your dream. Whatever it may be.”

His eyes finally met yours and he could see just how much you truly meant everything you just said. He doesn’t know what he wants to do, but right now he’s felt more sure than ever that if he’s with you, he can make it. He slips his fingers in between yours and brings your palm to his lips, a soft kiss landing on your skin.

“I love you too. Thank you.” you smile at him and stay with your hands connected for as long as you could.

When you arrived at War Zone you decided to split the group, so only you, Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Erica went inside. Your eyes scanned the huge store while trying to guess how many people were here.

“So much for avoiding angry hicks.” Robin commented.

“Let’s be… fast. Yep?” Nancy said, and you all agreed.

You went your separate ways, each of you having different tasks to complete. You were in charge of finding some clothes for all of you as you desperately needed to get out of your dirty, ripped ones. You scan the clothing aisle to find anything that could be useful and fighting an interdimensional demon appropriate. You found a brown jacket and showed it to Steve, who nodded his head in approval. It was an army jacket that you decided to pair up with a camo T-shirt and new pants. You also found a deep green jacket for yourself and a new black shirt, so you could remove your old one.

You both went to one of the dressing rooms and quickly changed to avoid all the weird stares you had been getting from the moment you got there. After you were done you gathered some more clothes for the rest and headed over to Robin who had a cart.

“How many of these do you think we need?” she asks you, holding up a bottle of gasoline, as you place the big pile of clothes in the cart.

“Five or six.” Steve responds and starts putting in more.

After you had sorted the clothes as much as you could in the cart, you looked up and realized that Robin’s attention was focused elsewhere than the matter at hand. You follow her gaze with curious eyes, eventually letting a smile grow on your face when you see who she is staring at. You lightly hit Steve’s shoulder, pointing towards Vicki and he immediately understood what was going on.

“What are you gonna do, Robin? Just stand here and gawk at her?” Steve teased her, but Robin was too distracted to come up with a good comeback.

“Shut up.”

“Go talk to her.” you gave her a little push. You bit your lip when you saw her take a step to go to Vicki, but everything got ruined in mere seconds. Your smile slowly faded when you saw a guy go over to Vicki, talk to her, and kiss her. It broke your heart, so you could only imagine how Robin was feeling.

Robin could not tear her gaze from the kiss in front of her, her entire stomach doing a flip when Vicki’s eyes fell on her.

“Oh, Robin-” you tried to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off and ran quickly away from you. Steve called after her, but it was already too late. You looked at Steve and told him to continue getting everything you needed. In the meantime, you were gonna be looking for Robin.

“That girl knows how to play hide and seek.” you murmured under your breath, your eyes scanning the store for any sign of your friend. You were looking for the past ten minutes and the only thing you found was insane prices for insane products.

Suddenly something hit you from behind startling you. You turned around, ready to confront the person who did it, when you realized it was just Erica who had hit you with her own cart.

“We need to go.” her tone was serious, making you immediately anxious.

“Why, what happened?”

“They happened.” she pointed behind you. You scrunched up your eyebrows at her behavior before turning around and seeing what made her act like this.

“Shit.” the whole basketball team, the one chasing Eddie and the kids were here doing the same thing you were. Gathering resources for their big hit.

After that, you all acted very quickly. You had to pay for what you had, find everyone who was missing, and leave the store without getting caught. As Steve was at the register with Max and Erica, you and Nancy were able to find Robin who was hiding in one of the dressing rooms. She didn’t waste any time when you told her what was happening and helped you carry the shopping bags to the car. Steve opened the door and one by one you all headed inside.

“What happened?” Lucas asked you all.

“We gotta go.” Steve said and, in a hurry, settled the bags he was holding down before climbing onto the driver’s seat. You quickly followed behind him.

“Your old friends are here.” Erica informed Lucas who cursed at the realization.

“Let’s go!” Dustin repeated at you, making Steve raise his voice as well.

“I’m going! I’m going! Just sit down!” he started the car and took off for Hawkins to continue your plan.

Your eyes roamed across the hill, landing on all the separate groups of your party. Lucas was with Erica preparing the spears, Max was watching Nancy fix up her gun, and your brother was making shields with Eddie. Well… they were actually goofing around but it looked like they did a good job on them. And it was nice seeing your brother aloof for even just a moment.

You were in charge of gearing up your clothes, making them as protected as you could for your and Dustin’s groups. After you had found a quiet place to relax, you began preparing your plan. Nancy divided you into three teams: The first team was Lucas, Erica, and Max who had the role of the bait to lure Vecna, the second team was Dustin, Robin, and Eddie who were going to distract the Demobats, and you were part of the third team with Steve, and Nancy who were going to kill Vecna.

You all agreed with the plan at first but right now something wasn’t sitting right with you. Watching Dustin out there laugh and have fun pulled on your heart. You’ve been over this road four times now and you’re worried something bad is going to happen. You didn’t want anyone to get hurt. However, as his big sister, Dustin was your priority.

You always made sure to be with him in moments like this, learning from your mistakes from 1983 when you left the party to go with Jonathan and Nancy to fight the Demogorgon. That same night you all lost Eleven. Dustin’s sad face for the next months was so clear in your mind, even now. After that moment you made a promise to yourself to always help him and protect him in big and small things.

Leaving him now in that group without you, just… felt wrong.

“We finished up with the bombs. How is everything going on here?” your head snapped to your right at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. Despite your worry, his presence always pulled a small smile on your face.

“Great. I just finished up with Dustin’s uniform. And my own…” your final words were paired with a sigh, expecting the confusion that quickly covered his face.

“You’re sure this isn’t Robin’s? You’re supposed to be on our team, remember?” his hands inspected the clothes filled with gear that was meant to protect group 2 from the bats.

“About that… I think it’ll be better if I stay with Dustin.” you finally said.

“What?”

You stood up from your seat, your lips letting out a sigh as you took his hand into yours for both of your comfort “Steve… This is our fourth time doing this. Our luck is running out and I have to make sure that he’ll be okay. I hate leaving him alone and I know you can take care of yourself, and it kills me to leave you behind but… I have to be here. I need to protect him in any way that I can.” you were playing with his fingers by the time you finished talking, your eyes watching your hands move, only focusing back on his face when his left hand touched your cheek.

“Okay, I get that… It’s gonna be weird not having you with me during the fight for the first time, but I can deal with Robin, it’d be fine.” you smiled and leaned in to leave a peck on his cheek “Just be careful. I want a girlfriend to come back to at the end of this.”

He chuckled at the end, obviously making a joke, but you couldn’t help but feel bittersweet at his words. Because you wanted to come back to him and fight for all of your safety. However, you also knew that if a sacrifice was needed, you were willing to take it. For them.

“I will.”

If you want to be tagged just ask!

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#steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things series #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x you #dustin henderson #max mayfield #robin buckley #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #lucas sinclair #erica sinclair #joe keery

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petertingle-yipyip · 7 months

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world class sinner - frank castle (masterlist)

season 2

pairings: billy russo x reader , frank castle x reader , punisher x exodus

summary: with daredevil dead, exodus returns from Quantico unsure of who she should be. fighting nightmares and deja vu, small sparks threaten to revive something saved for matt murdock before a shocking betrayal rattles New York’s two most dangerous vigilantes.

(1) - deja vu : Being back in the Kitchen almost immediately pulls her back into a fight. But without Matt, what has she become?

(2) if he had been with me: Further and further her humanity goes as Y/N commits herself to Frank Castle's crusade. Small moments threaten to bring her back, but how can she when there's nothing worth it... Or is there.

(3) haunted: Can’t breathe, can’t turn back. Y/N continues to walk the fragile line of her morality while finding an uneasy comfort in the presence of Billy Russo, despite being haunted by Matt Murdock’s memory. But reuniting with Frank Castle makes it little less miserable.

(4) aftermath: A quick run nearly turns disastrous when a bold move goes wrong. An attempted reconciliation between friends turns nasty, all because the aftermath of Midland Circle still lingers in Y/N’s actions.

(5) build god then we'll talk: Temporary alliances form on one side before fighting off an ambush from the other. All the while, dots are connecting for more than one player as the game grows more and more dangerous.

(6) so what now? : Limits are pushed and more secrets pile up as she continues to pretend on both sides. When they creep closer to one another, can she maintain all of her lies and save face or will she be forced to pick what relationship matters most?

(7) so it goes… : All eyes on her, a skilled illusionist. Playing the field for information gets what she needed but could threaten the relationship keeping her afloat.

(8) beautiful liar : A breaking point, new alliances, and seeds of mutual trust show Y/N who is and who isn’t on her side.

(9) bad omens: Lingering omens finally register and truths are revealed through blood, bullets, and betrayals.

(10) is it over now?: A long time coming, one fight comes to a bloody conclusion. Another lurks in the near future, and the connection between two friends and two lover is severed.

(11) sinner: It all comes down to one final night, where’s it all began. One who thinks he’s a god versus the one who once scared the Devil and the Punisher. The Devil wasn’t wrong after all to fear the evil she delivers.

(epilogue) i know it won’t work: After a couple weeks, Y/N decides to open Frank’s letter.

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wosowrites · 1 year

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Going Through It Part 2 (Caroline Graham Hansen)

warnings: misscar!age, depression

a/n: a lot of people were asking for a part 2 of the fic sooo let’s go! I also broke my own heart writing this it's super long and super sad.

prompt: in which different people come around in support for you as you go through all the stages of your miscarriage with caroline.

The 7 stages of grief. A myth? Definitely not.

Stage 1: Shock

When the medics told you they would bring you to the hospital to confirm that you really were indeed no longer with child, you just nodded blankly. You could see Caroline was trying to hold it together for you but you selfishly couldn't bring yourself to think about her. All you cared about was that they baby in your belly that you were supposed to protect was gone now. You felt as though you had failed it.

And then the doctors at the nearest hospital confirmed what to you had already been confirmed, so you listened as they told you for the second time that your baby was dead. Caroline held a straight face as she rubbed her thumb over your hand,, and you just stared blankly at the wall facing you. They said something about an abortion as soon as possible to get the fetus out, but you didn't listen. You didn't listen either as Caroline told you lovingly that she was going to go give the news to the Barca girls who were in the waiting room. A funny bunch they were, for sure, all with their tracksuits and sweaty hair.

You laughed at that. It started off as a quiet giggle but soon enough you were full on howling with laughter. Caroline had left the room by then and so had the doctors so anyone walking past your room would surely think you were a misplaced psychiatric patient. A few of the doctors came running in when it had been about a minute of your hysterics. They tried talking to you and calming you down but you just laughed harder. So they put you to sleep for a little, and when Caro walked back in with Ingrid, Mapi and Alexia, the doctors simply said that:

"She's in a lot of shock. She started laughing hysterically and we think its best for her to sleep before the procedure."

So, when Caroline heard that you were asleep, and that her actions wouldn't hurt you further, she started sobbing.

Stage 2: Denial

You and Caroline had already been excused for the UWCL and the rest of the season. Although the public knew very well that you were pregnant when you took the hit to the stomach, no one other than the Barca girls knew that the child had died. People just assumed you were not playing as a precaution, and Caro was taking care of you. Oh, and the Chelsea girls knew as well, having reached out in support and apology. Jess Carter had never felt worse in her life. But it wasn't their fault and everyone knew that. It was wrong place wring time. However three days after the abortion, Caroline found you in a worse situation than she could ever have imagined.

"Love?" Caroline called out in the apartment, having stopped calling you baby out of fear of even mentioning anything related to a child. There was no answer. "Y/n?!"

Caroline called out your name again as she walked through the house, poking her head into your bedroom, the washroom and every other room in the house. That is until she heard the faint sound of music. Her heart dropped. The only way she wouldn't have heard music playing was if it was from the nursery. You had both agreed to sound proof the room as you had heard that letting the baby cry it out was often the best solution. Caroline hadn't touched or even looked at the nursery since 'the incident' but she imagined today was the day.

The Norwegian gently pushed open the door, finding you sitting in the corner of the room on a rocking chair. There was My Funny Valentine playing from her phone in the room, the song you would always sing to your belly. Your hand was on your stomach, rubbing it gently though your grey tank top. Your eyes were closed and you were humming along with the melody, not noticing the presence of your wife. Caroline felt like she would throw up. She stared at you through wide eyes before slowly backing out of the room and closing the door again. Her eyes filled with tears as she leaned her back against the door. The Norwegian took a couple seconds to steady her breathing before rummaging in the pocket of her shorts and pulling out her cell phone. The woman quickly dialled a familiar number and waiting for a voice to answer. "Hola, Caroline," Mapi's voice said in a kind and gentle voice. "Hi. Uh, I don't know what to do. I- she's just sitting there and-" Caroline tried to rant but Mapi cut her off, noticing how clustered her words were. "Caro. Breathe. Breathe for me, do you want me to come over?" She asked gently. "No. No that's not a good idea. I just need you to tell me what to do because right now shes sitting in the nursery on the rocking chair, playing a song we always sang to her belly and she- she has her hand on her stomach like-" Caroline lowered her voice, "-like there's still a baby in there."

There was silence over the phone. Mapi felt sick and horrible for her friends. "I-I cannot give you advice on this. You just need to talk to her, I think. She's in denial."

And so Caroline did. She opened the door to the nursery and walked towards you. "My love," you said, smiling and opening your eyes. "Hi darling," your wife answered, kneeling next to you. She put her hands on your knees and looked up at you. Your hands still laid on your stomach, but not for long as the forwards hands reached out to grab yours in hers. "Don't make me tell you. Don't make me say the words," Caroline said, her eyes full of tears. But you just stared at her with a small smile. You freed your hands and cupped her face, wiping her tears. "What is it, my love?" you said gently, almost in a ghostly way. "We're not pregnant anymore, y/n."

Stage 3: Anger

You handn't meant to hit her. You hadn't. You. Had. Not. Right? It just happened. It had been the third time she had caught you with your hand on your stomach, humming to a child that wasn't there. And you had snapped. Right after you did, your head was cloudy, and you wanted to apologize, and kiss her, and tell her how much you loved her. But instead you yelled. "Shut up! Don't! I have already lost our fucking child and now you're not even letting me- I don't know! Hold out hope. Hold out some kind of belief that the universe wouldn't take my child away," you yelled, sobbing violently. Caroline looked at you, sobbing just as hard as you were. "I'm going through this too, you know?" She yelled back, catching you off guard. "Yeah. But at least your not going through the guilt of knowing that your decision killed our child."

It was mean. It was loud. It was hurtful from both ends. But then you slipped on your shoes, grabbed your car keys and then opened the door, pausing at the entrance. "We need to be there. Now," you said dryly.

Caroline nodded and followed you outside. You headed down to the parking lot, walking to your subaru. You both headed for the drivers seat, but as you reached to open the door, your hands hitting, you looked at her. "I can drive. I’m not pregnant anymore, remember? You made that very fucking clear," you spat at her.

Caroline flinched, but she went to the passengers seat.

You arrived at Ciutat Esportiva about twenty minutes later, the whole car ride being filled with awkwardness and the faint sound of Beyonce's vocals. You got out of the car quickly, trying to get away from Caroline. Jonatan had told you that there wasn't the need for you both to come if you weren't up for it, but you knew you needed to get out of the house. It was just an hour long meeting to discuss next seasons signings and departures, but it felt to Caroline like a reintegration into normal life, and to you, it felt like a reminder that you had failed your child.

You walked into the meeting room, your hair in the same dutch braids they had been in for the past two days, your Barca sweatpants on paired with a black hoodie. The girls came up to you and hugged you gently, you forced a small smile before taking a spot at a table with only one open chair left, means to get away from your wife.

The second the meeting finished, you stood up quickly. But due to your lack of sleep and food, your head swirled and you doubled over, feeling a wave of nausea come over you. Mapi, Alexia and Caroline were quickly by your side, la Reina holding your elbow and Caroline quickly letting you fall into her arms. But the second you had regained your bearings, you pushed her away. "Stop it. I'm fine," you basically growled. Taking your car keys from the table and rushing out of the meeting room and towards the parking lot.

Caroline was left, feeling shameful for no valid reason in the middle of the room. "I thought the whole 7 stages of grief thing was a myth but... shes going through them right now. I need the anger to be gone, Marta, I can't take her being mad at me," Caroline cried gently. "She's not mad at you. She's mad at herself and she's taking it out on you. Just- don't tell her shes going through the seven stages. If she knows she'll try to stop it and right now she needs to feel. And so do you, Caro. If you guys need anything, call me. Call us, any of us. We'll bring food or movies... anything really," Marta answered.

Stage 4: Bargaining

You got out of the anger stage the night after the meeting. You left your room, having finally showered and found Caroline watching Bridgerton in the living room. You sat down next to her and took the remote, pausing the show. "I am so sorry. I don't know what the fuck my problem is. I love you so so much and I just snapped," you said to her, putting your hands on her face and wiping away a stray tear. You kissed her softly on the lips as she thought about what Marta had said about not informing you about the grief process she was living. It was the first kiss you had shared since the miscarriage and it was welcomed to say the least.

It was on a walk down town that you reached the stage of bargaining. Caroline had been confused about that one. You weren't religious, and neither was she. But when you walked past the Sagrada Familia, and asked if you could go inside, she knew it was time for stage 4.

The Sagrada Familia was extremely impressive. Even after being in it multiple times, it never lost its beauty. It was a thursday, so it was open to the public, but you still sat on a pier, leaving Caroline to watch you from afar, wondering about the bargaining stage.

There was only you on the pier, looking up to the high ceiling of the Sagrada Familia, the architecture designed in a way that the ceiling looked like a forest. You didn’t believe in God. God had ruined your family. Or at least your parents wrongful actions in his name did. If there was a God, you knew he loved everyone and that he wouldn’t have wished for your parents to kick you out for your "sins" at 16.

But you still thoguht to yourself that considering you had already lost your child, talking to the person who the town you grew up in made you believe was the only source of power wasn’t a ridiculous idea exactly.

In your head, you started thinking.

Hi, fuck this is stupid. I don’t do this. I’m not talking to anyone. Jesus- I mean. No. Not. Okay let me start again can we just forget about the previous sentences.

You thought for a second, half expecting the voice of a man to appear in your head.

Okay. Let’s do this. I lost my baby. And- I guess I’m hoping that if you do exist then talking to you will make you care for him… or her but I felt like it was a him. I don’t think you’d let an innocent child go to… Hell or whatever but I don’t know. It can’t hurt to talk to you... I can’t believe you took my child from me. I want him back. Please, I want him back.

Tears were not streaming down your face and the thing that snapped you out of your tear filled gaze towards the ceiling of the Sagrada Familia was the creaking of the bench, indicating the presence of another person.

You turned your head and looked to find a man sitting there. He looked maybe 60, his hair whitening but not fully yet. The delusional part of your brain wanted to ask him if he was God.

"You do not look good," he said in spanish. However it didn’t sound like an insult, nor did it sound like a judgment. It was just a fact.

"I do not feel good," you answered him, unlocking eyes with him and looking forward to the tinted glass. "Tell me. You will never see me again, I’m a stranger with no right to- to pass judgment or anything of the sort," he told you. It felt weird, to say the least. Why would you tell this random spanish man about the loss you were facing. But you did. "I lost my baby. He died in my stomach-" you started saying. And although you were planning on holding back a little, you didn’t. "-I play for the Barcelona women’s team. And I got kicked in the stomach and it killed my baby," you told him.

He looked at you sorrowfully. "I’m probably the only spanish man in the world thst doesn’t know football. But I do know the loss of a child. And I do know that it gets better, no matter the pain you are in right now," he said to you, putting his hand over yours in a parental way. "I’m sorry for your loss," you told him. "Don’t be. She’s in a better place right now," he said to you softly. "Heaven?" you asked, looking at him. "Oh no. She was much too good for Heaven. I loved her but God would not have let her, such a… purer soul that him, near his gates. She’s just- she’s not in Hell, she’s not in Heaven, she’s just not here which is better. For some people, that is. The world is better with you in it, but some people are just too good for this earth. Your baby, your baby was too good to be here," he said.

You left the Sagrada, tears in your eyes but your heart oddly lighter. While walking back home, you held Carolines hand tightly. "He's in a better place, Caroline."

That thought, that calmness of heart lasted about two days.

Stage 5: Depression

Caroline started feeling joy, and wellness again a day after your conversation with the man at the Sagrada. She started going out for runs again, working out, cooking and signing. She was still heartbroken, but she knew there was nothing to do, and she had now chosen to move on. But you weren't ready. And you felt as though she was leaving you behind. As Carolines happiness escalated, yours fell drastically.

Saturday morning, Caroline let you sleep in as she went to training. It had been decided with Jonas that she would start training again to be fit and ready for the UWCL final vs Wolfsburg. She wanted to get back into her every day life and she missed football beyond words. You did too, but the thought of standing up, and then running, and then dribbling and shooting and... it just made you want to throw up to say the least.

So when Caroline came back home at 2:00 and found that the apartment was exactly how she left it, meaning you lying in bed, blinds closed, and the kitchen counter spotless as she had left it, she knew you had reached the stage she so wished you would manage to skip.

She peeked into your shared room, looking at the darkness greeting her. But she closed the door as quickly as she opened it, grabbing her keys and rushing back out of the apartment. Caroline got into her car and drove the first place that came to mind. If anyone could talk to you, bring you back down to earth, it was Alexia. Team mother.

She pulled up at her apartment and then rang the bell, a voice she didn't recognize answering.

"Putellas residence," a voice said in spanish. "Uh-hey, is Alexia home?" Caro answered in English, her spanish being shocking despite you trying to teach her. "Oh, yes. Are you her teammate?" the voice asked. "Yeah, I am. It's an emergency,"

That's all the person needed to hear for her to let you in. You rushed to the third floor and then opened the door of her apartment without knocking. "Alexia! Alexia!" Caroline yelled across the apartment. Alexia followed by a shorter brunette girl quickly walked out of the kitchen, the midfielder heading for your wife and quickly putting her hands on Caroline's face, trying to calm her. "What is it? Is y/n okay?" Alexia said quickly. "No. Yes. But no. I can't do this anymore. I can't move on and leave her behind. We're a team, it's her and me but I also don't want to be...depressed. I need you to talk to her because if I do-" Caroline started saying. "You're scared it could ruin your relationship," she finished the sentence. "Yeah," Caroline answered, letting out a heavy breath.

Alexia looked into Carolines eyes and nodded before turning to the woman behind her. "Mi amor, necesito manejar esto. Quédate aquí, vete a casa, haz lo que quieras pero tengo que irme." Alexia said before kissing the woman on the lips, putting on her shoes and then leaving with Caroline. "Is that your-"

"Girlfriend? Yes."

"What did you tell her?" Caroline asked. "That I needed to leave and that she could do whatever she wants at my apartment," Alexia said.

Finding you lying in the dark under covers was not something Alexia ever wanted to see. You weren't crying, you just seemed numb. Alexia had told Caroline to make soup and buttered bread for you, as if she could convince you to eat it would be ready before you could change your mind.

Alexia opened the blinds first, which she hoped would make you change positions, but you just stayed still. She then circled the bed and lied down beside you. She faced you in the bed and gently moved the hair from your face. "Hi sweetie," she said to you.

Your eyes focused a little bit and locked with hers. She knew that she now had you. She needed to talk before you zoned off again. "You need to eat, and clean yourself. You can't let the pain you're feeling win. Please eat. Sit up and just do something. Read, watch a movie? Talk to me if you want," Alexia said, making sure her tone didn't seem begging as she didn't want to guilt trip you.

You seemed to think about it for a while.

"No."

A week later

You hadn't gotten out of bed, you had eaten maybe a few pieces of cheese and a few slices of fruit, you were covered in your own filth and Ale had basically moved in with you guys.

"Today's the day, Caro. Mapi's been here, Ingrid, Patri, Aitana, Jonatan. Every one has tried something and we just need to bring out the tough love at this point. Make the soup, make her food and run a bath because-"

"Alexia," Caroline breathed out, looking past her head to the bedroom door that had just opened.

Wearing Carolines Norway hoodie and black nike pros, you trailed out of the bedroom, your greasy hair tucked behind your ears and your mascara from that day at the Sagrada, smudged.

Alexia turned around and looked at you. "Hi," she breathed out, her eyes widening with love and relief. Caroline rushed up to you, trying not to smother you, but you were the one to smother her. You dug your head into her shoulder and inhaled her scent. "I'm gonna do better. I'll be better," you whispered to her. "Its okay, it's okay," she let out shakily, brushing her fingers through your hair. "Do you want to eat, or bathe, or if you just want to sit on the couch and watch TV thats okay too it's-"

"I'll eat. And then bathe?" you said, your words sounding like a question. "Yeah. Yes," your wife said quickly.

You settled into the chair at the counter and smiled at Alexia. "I should go," she said gently, coming up to you and kissing your head.

Caroline hugged the spaniard and thanked her over and over. "Hey, Ale, tell Jonatan I'll be back in training next week,"

Stage 6: Acceptance

You accepted your baby's death fully two days later.

"Caroline! I'm gonna order pizza!" you called out to her from the kitchen.

The second you said those words, you really noticed. The few months you had been pregnant, the idea of pizza made you feel nauseous. The hormones from your pregnancy made you hate the food. Caroline poked her head out of the washroom, looking at you with wide eyes.

Do you... do you want pizza?" She said gently. "Yeah. I do," you said, placing the order and then putting down your phone to walk up to her. "He's gone," you said quietly, wrapping your arms around her neck as she put hers around your waist. "Yeah, he is. But we'll have our rainbow baby."

Stage 7: Processing grief

Caroline had made it very clear to all the staff and to all the players that she did not want to make you coming back a big deal. She and you wanted to move on, move past the pain, and just go back to being footballers. And they respected that. Your first training session back wasn't great, but everyone was patient and kind. You appreciated that a lot. After practice, you sat in the locker room and pulled out your phone. You hadn't been on social media in weeks, but it was time to tell the public.

y/n.y/l/n_ Baby boy, I wish your mother and I had gotten to know you. For the past weeks I've felt like a failure. I wish I had never gone in for that tackle. I wish I had never stepped onto that pitch. Things happen though, and I love you no less than I would have loved you if I had gotten to hold you.

graham95: love you both more than life

marialeonn16: the entire city of barca isstrong for you

chelseafcw: our thoughts are with you

fcbfemeni: Nosotras te amamos y te apreciamos

It was true. You didn't know for sure if your baby had been a boy or a girl, but you knew. A mother always knew.

#chelsea fcw #woso fic #woso x reader #caroline graham hansen #fcb femení #mapi león #alexia putellas

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