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#feel like these also go well with the number 5
medra-gonbites · 2 days
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Baldur's Gate 3 Companion Head Canon Party Edition
Tav is throwing a party for their birthday. The playlist is ready, the neighbors are warned and the balloons are blown.
Here is what the companions (and three surprise party crashers) would bring to that little soirée.
Laezel | A strange liquor nobody has heard of
Impossible to know what it is, the label is written in a different alphabet. It has a crazy high alcohol percentage. Never mind it tastes like diesel: it's strong and if you want to get drunk it will get you there. Also it was crazy cheap so she bought 5 bottles (which she'll be the one drinking).
Gale | Some fancy ass bourbon
Nobody will drink it, because it is not that kind of night, Gale! He spends 19 minutes explaining to Tav why this vintage is special and what kind of smoky and woody hints they should get from the taste as well as an extensive story about where it was brewed (some place in the Highlands with blind dwarven monks no doubt).
Shadowheart | Wine 
It is a lower to mid quality bottle but she actually spends all evening drinking cocktails mostly composed of juice and vodka: she likes wine but it stains her teeth and gives her a headache, plus she really likes bright colors in her drinks. If there is Passoa and orange juice and the weather is nice she will be giving it a go. 
Wyll | Tequila
Alongside lemons and salt. The group complains because it’s just not something that gets drinken casually. However, they all end up taking shots around 3am and pass out and/or barf. Wyll is the only one who does not have a hangover the next day because he drinks water in between shots. Will make the cocktails if he is being asked nicely (he brought his shaker as well).
Karlach | Beer
She either comes with two 64-beer crates, one on each shoulder, or a keg (with a funnel and a pipe). She drinks most of these together with Wyll and burps loudly before shouting 'better in than out' and belly laugh herself to cramps. If the beers are canned, she will crush them on her forehead once they are downed. Ultimate beer pong winner.
Astarion | Shows up empty-handed
He feigns he didn't know or that he ran out of time to get something but he'll promise to bring something the next time (which is a lie as he already promised last time at Karlach’s costume party). He will leave with Gale’s expensive bourbon though and gift it to one his teacher from law school (in order to bribe them, of course).
Halsin |Juices
Not these industrial juice boxes mind you, but some organic 100% fruit, no added sugar juice from the bio coop. Or better yet he makes the juices himself - If the time of year is right he will make punch or sangria himself (and be careful it’s sweet but it is treacherous).
Minthara | Cocaïne
Nobody wants to do any. Frankly, Minthara did not read the audience  well. Astarion is willing but feels the vibe and decides not to (he takes her dealer's number for later though)). She ends up doing a line alone in the kitchen. At the height of the night when she's loaded and drunk she makes out with Gale or bullies him (or both).
Jaheira | Soda and ice
To be fair, all kinds of soda, and not just the generic crap either, the good brands. Bubbles no bubbles, fruity, bitter, sweet, you name it. She does not drink as she is the designated driver for her and Minsc (no way they're sleeping over with these kids) so she spends her night sipping on some ginger ale.
Minsc | Goblets
A lot of them. While it was disappointing at first it turns out to be a super sharp idea. Either to drink from or play beer pong they came in extremely handy. Halsin will pout and comment on the sustainability issue. Minsc drinks water but takes a new cup everytime he gets another drink (partly because he is proud of his goblet idea, partly to antagonize Halsin).
Durge | Flour
They are Tav's neighbour and they were invited out of politeness and actually showed up. They come with flour because “hey, remember when I borrowed some, years ago, there, I’m bringing it back like I said I would. We are even now”. They have the best jokes but they will try and start a fight over the playlist (they have issues with music it seems).
Here are a couple of party crashers who were not invited but came anyways.
Barcus | Airfryer and Snacks
He shows up very early to Tav's surprise. He was not exactly invited but thought he was due to Tav mentioning the party to him at work. Upon seeing him Tav is actually happy though and his glad he popped by. He brought his airfryer and some fried goods and that's just awesome.
Volo | His guitar
He was not invited and knew it but he shows up anyway. He will complain about the music the whole time while drinking wine and take his guitar to try and play wonderwall for everyone, even though nobody asked. Lae’zel will lock him on the balcony at some point during the night.
Gortash | Cheap Vodka
He was also not invited. He was told explicitly he was not but what can you do.... His shirt is way too open on his chest, he wears way too much cologne and his pockets are full of condoms. He tries to get into Shadowheart’s pants all night, refilling her glass constantly but he’ll end up at Durge's place next door.
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fras-redacted-shapes · 24 hours
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Early drafts/unused content in other languages
redditor AloysHellsalem posted about certain text strings that exist in localized files but are missing from English ones. So I took a look at the Spanish string table and tried translating them - these are machine translations, so they are bad and also funny (sometimes).
All of these seem to be some sort of very, very early draft given the number at the end of the speaker's name and because they don't even have corresponding text-to-speech files unlike files from demos/proof of concept.
More of a fun thing than anything else.
Most of them are from Saga's side of the story.
AMBIENT DIALOGUE - RETURN 2
CASEY_4585: I found more of those knit ornaments near [Witch’s] Ladle. The cult has been around here. SAGA_4586: Do you think they’re the ones behind all this? Dead people coming back to life certainly sounds like cult material. CASEY_4587: It feels like they’re connected. We need more evidence. CASEY_4588: Do you really think a ritual will do something? SAGA_4589: My rational brain says no, but maybe it’s time I leave it on the backseat. CASEY_4590: I’ve certainly had cases that made sanity look like a sick joke. SAGA_4591: I can’t believe you knew what Ikea was. CASEY_4592: What? A guy like me can’t have affordable furniture?
Original text:
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PROFILING CASEY - RETURN 6
SAGA_4984: What’s happening to Casey? CASEY_4985: I can’t turn into one of them. I won’t. Fuck it. I’ll go to hell before I turn into one of those soulless demons. CASEY_4986: Well, I guess that’s literally what they are: demons.
That last sentence may be a weird translation on my part. I'm not sure how to make it make sense.
Original text:
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Leaving the full string here, Saga profiling Casey about him feeling like a fictional character?:
MP_RE06_CASEY_FICTIONAL_SAGA_4987: being a fictional character. MP_RE06_CASEY_FICTIONAL_CASEY_4988: Was I even who I thought I was, or just an average detective torn from the pages of a bunch of mediocre crime novels? Did I exist in printing ink like I did in real life?, and vice versa? The thought always bothered me. The jokes. The similarities. The constant feeling that no amount of coffee could drown.
Original text:
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There're lines that look like bullet points or just rough ideas, like the last one here:
SAGA_6910: What’s happening to Casey? CASEY_6911: Casey is turning into a taken, blame Alan Wake for it WAKE_SAGA_6912: Wake WAKE_CASEY_6913: Casey never liked Wake, even before all this. References to cult case in New York
Original text:
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PROFILING ESTEVEZ RETURN 6
This looks like a very early draft of Kiran having a girl crush deputizing Saga into the FBC.
SAGA_4989: The FBC. ESTEVEZ_4990: Saga Anderson, she’d be a great FBC agent. She clearly has what it takes: wit, guts and drive. And she’s not backing down from a paranatural fight. I can appreciate that. ESTEVEZ_4991: I should give her the recruitment (draft?) pitch. She’d be a great asset. SAGA_4992: I guess I should be flattered.
Original text:
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SAGA_4993: What’s this “AWE”? ESTEVEZ_4994: What reactivated the AWE in Bright Falls? Does the threshold below the lake work in cycles or does it have a trigger? ESTEVEZ_4995: Whatever it is, it seemed more powerful than ever. SAGA_4996: The “threshold” in Cauldron Lake. That’s where I have to go.
Original text:
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The following one is nearly incomprehensible
SAGA_6914: Parautilitarians ESTEVEZ_6915: Estevez relives a trauma, says the area of parautilitarians susceptible to supernatural forces (???)
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SAGA_6916: doesn’t wake up ESTEVEZ_6917: They told Estevez the Dark Presence can steal forms, making it difficult to know who to trust SAGA_6918: Dark Place ESTEVEZ_6919: Estevez doesn’t know much, other than those who go there generally don’t come back.
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PROFILING TOR AND ODIN - RETURN 5
Lots of fun tidbits
SAGA_3003: Where is Tor? TOR_3004:... Polaris ... in a web of hypocrisy. ODIN_3005: Take ... Control. duh duh duhuhuh. Take ... Control ... TOR_3006: Take ... Control. duh duh duhuhuh. Take ... Control …
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SAGA_3012: The girl in the painting. ODIN_3013: I won’t remove it. That’s our family. Your (his?) daughter. TOR_3014: She left us! She took Saga and fucked off! So take that damn thing! I don’t wanna see her face!
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MP_RE05_TOR_MOTHER_SAGA_3069: My mother. TOR_3070: But I wasn’t made to be a dad. I’m a god of rock! I can take the sky, rock stadiums but can’t change a diaper! TOR_3071: My life is a fucking storm. Freya deserved better. TOR_3072: It broke my heart, but I was proud of her for leaving. She could take care of herself. And her little girl. Saga will be a fucking star. I saw it the day she was born.
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SAGA_3074: My dad. TOR_3075: …If she goes with you, she can never come back! It’s a one way trip for her. And I’m not letting a punk take me (?)! UNKNOWN_3076: (STATIC) TOR_3077: Freya isn’t ready for a nursing home. We kept it hidden for a reason! If you try this, I’ll hit you so hard with my hammer there won’t be any door left to open!
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PROFILING TOR AND ODIN - RETURN 9
Now, these are super interesting :)
SAGA_5287: Mr. Door. TOR_5288: Freya couldn’t trust that bastard! He wouldn’t have stayed anyways! It’s not in his nature! We had to go! ROSE_5289: Tor, you’re scaring the other residents. I need you to put down that hammer. TOR_5290: A father needs to protect his kids, dammit! The door is a fucking spider and I’ll be damned if I was going to let my little girl get caught on its fucking web.
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MP_RE09_ODIN_01_DOOR_SAGA_5293: Mr Door. ODIN_5294: I just can’t let you play with her heart. It’s nothing personal. DOOR_5295: Do you realize Freya will never forgive either of you for this? ODIN_5296: You’re not wrong, but… neither is my brother. Today you’re here, you’re Martin’s door, but eventually you’ll leave it behind and she won’t know why. Better she hate us than she hates herself. DOOR_5297: Then let’s see what you and your drunk brother can do.
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Weird translation that last one.
The text for "I can't let you play with her heart" can be translated more literally to "I simply can't make you play with her heart." Which doesn't make sense, at least not without more context.
The line about Martin was probably meant to say "You're Martin Door".
There're a few other tidbits but none as interesting (in my opinion) as these ones.
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whilomm · 4 months
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note: pollmaker is thinking of the USAmerican lottery system (powerball, mega millions, state lottos, scratchoffs, etc), but poll applies to other countries lotteries systems so long as its still the same concept of "big ol state sponsered gambling shit", but not like casino style gambling. u know what i mean, Lottos.
questions for the tags: how regularly, what stuff you play, if you have limits for yourself, if you feel like its a Problem for you, and for funsies the usual 'first thing youd do if you won the lottery' shit
reblog to have absolutely zero effect on your luck either way. just like, absolutely no change in luck whether you reblog this or scroll past. this is the luck neutral post reblog in the next 30 seconds or dont who give a shit
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hauntingblue · 5 months
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Stampede aka another episode of luffy turning haters into dick riders just with his kind and big heart
#i might understand all the robin law fanfare... its been 26 minutes of stampede......#frobin reigns supreme imo still.....#VICEADMIRAL MOMONGA TOCAME LA PORONGA??? HELLO#THE LOG POSE TO LAUGH TALE???? and hancock arrived ❤️❤️#usopp saving luffh omg.....#blonde buggy..... why are we doing this to out beautiful women...#fujitora is on his own frequency... here you go a meteorite.. whatever happens to all of you and our troops happens goodbye#mihawk intervened bc zoro couldn't do it omg.... nami keep watch he is going to end it all tonight jesus#also persona following mihaw for a second movie ajdjaks.... i love them together honestly#brosalino is the kuma guy's uncle????? nepotism......#calling this guy the heir of the demon.... taking blame off ace akdjsksn.... you know whats funny in movies garp is very like thoughtful and#comprehensive of others peoples issues and then you get to how he raised luffy and like.... wouldn't that have been good there....#and with ace too lmao.... i mean he didnt have abandonment issues but just wait and see to a 10yo asking if he is worthy of living idk...#i get the meaning of it and what he meant but we all know ace didnt get that at the time until luffy got there#usopp.... see how when oda writes the movies it feels different.... first steong world with namo and now stampede with usopp...#the relationship moments really hit.. i was gonna comment about zoro and the cursed sword but that was just focusing on him#well this one wasnt written by oda but supervised i will take it....#hina taking the kids aldjakskal...... smoker and hina best straight ship behind frobin imo..... baby 5 x sai number 3 spot#sabo....... actually thank you bc smoker thinks he can take anybody#hancock and buggy AJSJAKAKLQQ omg usopp dont cry....... luffy will KILL that guy for making usopp feel like that lmao YEAAAH!!!!!#law smoker sabo the luffy lover squad..... each in their own way lmao#hancock its been so long how are you <3 omg law what are you doing here <3 my brother sabo hello.#crocodile made the plan of course.... luffy lover member too#usopps bullets omg....#sanji and zoro against lucci omg..... YEAAAHHHH#wait a second straw hat crew costume by uniqlo design team??? THE DRIP!!!#luffy seeing ace beside luffy with the fire goodbye.... he is EVERYWHERE#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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cerealmonster15 · 3 months
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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iceeericeee · 10 months
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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strangerhands · 6 months
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ohmygodddddd i am a fucking genius...👁️ the fic idea i just came up with. the Specific Line i thought up. its such a random idea but its so so cute and sweet and ugh its gonna plague me forever. kinda proud of myself to be honest so lets just hope i can Actually write it soon🧎
#mmm brain isnt always bad sometimes i guess.#its some unapologetic jake fluff btw#bc he deserves it#also i forgot i cant really spend time on tumblr today bc ill be busy again lol so tomorrow it is (hopefully)#but its gonna be a good day bc me and my bestie are going to see love lies bleeding And immaculate together😋😋#and probably get some lunch and maybe ice cream too#excited#have been looking forward to today#and then after today im looking forward to finally crawling back into my little tumblr cave#hopefully i can Actually Read.#and yk. writing would be nice too.#also im goin back on sertraline today and apparently it can be used for ocd too so i will try to see if any of That feels different as well#raaaaaa#still havent fully researched ocd tho🧎ive been procrastinating🧎as i do🧎#anyways goodnight its 5am.#shouldnt have had that 8pm iced capp#i downed that shit fr#ok bye bye love yall#talkin shit#FUCK YES THIS POSTED LIKE ON THE VERY SECOND 5:15 WAS ENDING YESSS#sorry i actually like am distressed when the minute(s) of my posts arent posted on a 0 or 5 or like the same as the previous number#and when it is i feel like actual relief and joy#and when it isnt i contemplate deleting and waiting until the desired minute to post again.#anddd sometimes i actually do.#i also will just wait several minutes to post something when its not the exact minute i want yet#or ill queue it for like. literally a couple minutes in the future.#yeah i have many issues#okay gn thank you for reading if you read🧍🫶#i always either suck my own dick or beat my own ass.#rarely ever is there an in between
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sendmyresignation · 10 months
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having to use rym for band research is like slowly poisoning yourself over and over with digital cyanide. how do some people live like this.
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arolesbianism · 7 months
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I've been slowly chipping at expanding my oni playlist after doing a mini song purge of songs that I added day one that I don't feel fit anymore, and it's just been me finding more and more songs from the spiraling upwards playlist that I could oh so easily add and having to stop myself from taking more than I already have from my poor kitty cats
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be-good-to-bugs · 10 months
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when will i stop feeling like trash?
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emeryleewho · 4 months
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Saw a fun little conversation on Threads but I don't have a Threads account, so I couldn't reply directly, but I sure can talk about it here!
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I've been wanting to get into this for awhile, so here we go! First and foremost, I wanna say that "Emmaskies" here is really hitting the nail on the head despite having "no insider info". I don't want this post to be read as me shitting on trad pub editors or authors because that is fundamentally not what's happening.
Second, I want to say that this reply from Aaron Aceves is also spot on:
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There are a lot of reviewers who think "I didn't enjoy this" means "no one edited this because if someone edited it, they would have made it something I like". As I talk about nonstop on this account, that is not a legitimate critique. However, as Aaron also mentions, rushed books are a thing that also happens.
As an author with 2 trad pub novels and 2 trad pub anthologies (all with HarperCollins, the 2nd largest trad publisher in the country), let me tell you that if you think books seem less edited lately, you are not making that up! It's true! Obviously, there are still a sizeable number of books that are being edited well, but something I was talking about before is that you can't really know that from picking it up. Unlike where you can generally tell an indie book will be poorly edited if the cover art is unprofessional or there are typoes all over the cover copy, trad is broken up into different departments, so even if editorial was too overworked to get a decent edit letter churned out, that doesn't mean marketing will be weak.
One person said that some publishers put more money into marketing than editorial and that's why this is happening, but I fundamentally disagree because many of these books that are getting rushed out are not getting a whole lot by way of marketing either! And I will say that I think most authors are afraid to admit if their book was rushed out or poorly edited because they don't want to sabotage their books, but guess what? I'm fucking shameless. Café Con Lychee was a rush job! That book was poorly edited! And it shows! Where Meet Cute Diary got 3 drafts from me and my beta readers, another 2 drafts with me and my agent, and then another 2 drafts with me and my editor, Café Con Lychee got a *single* concrete edit round with my editor after I turned in what was essentially a first draft. I had *three weeks* to rewrite the book before we went to copy edits. And the thing is, this wasn't my fault. I knew the book needed more work, but I wasn't allowed more time with it. My editor was so overworked, she was emailing me my edit letter at 1am. The publisher didn't care if the book was good, and then they were upset that its sales weren't as high at MCD's, but bffr. A book that doesn't live up to its potential is not going to sell at the same rate as one that does!
And this may sound like a fluke, but it's not. I'm not naming names because this is a deeply personal thing to share, but I have heard from *many* authors who were not happy with their second books. Not because they didn't love the story but because they felt so rushed either with their initial drafts or their edits that they didn't feel like it lived up to their potential. I also know of authors who demanded extra time because they knew their books weren't there yet only to face big backlash from their publisher or agent.
I literally cannot stress to you enough that publisher's *do not give a fuck* about how good their products are. If they can trick you into buying a poorly edited book with an AI cover that they undercut the author for, that is *better* than wasting time and money paying authors and editors to put together a quality product. And that's before we get into the blatant abuse that happens at these publishers and why there have been mass exoduses from Big 5 publishers lately.
There's also a problem where publishers do not value their experienced staff. They're laying off so many skilled, dedicated, long-term committed editors like their work never meant anything. And as someone who did freelance sensitivity reading for the Big 5, I can tell you that the way they treat freelancers is *also* abysmal. I was almost always given half the time I asked for and paid at less than *half* of my general going rate. Authors publishing out of their own pockets could afford my rate, but apparently multi-billion dollar corporations couldn't. Copy edits and proofreads are often handled by freelancers, meaning these are people who aren't familiar with the author's voice and often give feedback that doesn't account for that, plus they're not people who are gonna be as invested in the book, even before the bad payment and ridiculous timelines.
So, anyway, 1. go easy on authors and editors when you can. Most of us have 0 say in being in this position and authors who are in breech of their contract by refusing to turn in a book on time can face major legal and financial ramifications. 2. Know that this isn't in your head. If you disagree with the choices a book makes, that's probably just a disagreement, but if you feel like it had so much potential but just *didn't reach it*, that's likely because the author didn't have time to revise it or the editor didn't have time to give the sort of thorough edits it needed. 3. READ INDIE!!! Find the indie authors putting in the work the Big 5's won't do and support them! Stop counting on exploitative mega-corporations to do work they have no intention of doing.
Finally, to all my readers who read Café Con Lychee and loved it, thank you. I love y'all, and I appreciate y'all, and I really wish I'd been given the chance to give y'all the book you deserved. I hope I can make it up to you in 2025.
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nickmarini · 2 months
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Ayden’s Build 
TL;DR: Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 8 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 9 (Peace Domain). Feats: Squire of Solamnia, Remarkable Recovery, Warcaster, Knight of Crowns, Spelldriver, Tough.
Building Ayden was a joy and a journey. To begin we were told we had 20 levels to work with and stats of 20 across the board. The only thing I knew about Ayden from the session 0 was that he was going to be a Cleric of the Everlight and that I wanted to make him the best support character I could. I also knew that the Dawnfather was aware of the mission briefing and so would have directed his growth to the task at hand. 
Stats of 20 meant multiclassing into any class was possible and that any ability score based bonuses or proficiency based abilities were going to be very good. I figured that with a warlock and a sorcerer we’d have some pretty good counterspelling and 9th level spell access, so I didn’t worry myself about either of those, instead focusing on making sure we all survived. 
The Dawnfather and The Everlight share 2 of 3 Domains. Life and Light. The Everlight’s 3rd domain is Peace. The Peace Domain cleric is an excellent subclass and its 6th level ability, Protective Bond, was something I knew I wanted to build around. The ability to take hits for, and aid, my siblings while teleporting around the battlefield is an excellent support ability and it also lets allies in the bond do the same, fostering sibling unity and cohesion.
With the Dawnfather having Nature as his unique domain separate from the Everlight, and literally sending himself to Exandria to infiltrate a city full of the greatest mages of the age, the Oath of Ancients Paladin seemed like an obvious path. It is the nature Paladin, (his domain) and 7 levels gives you both Aura of Protection and Aura of Warding. This means as Ayden moves through the battlefield with Protective Bond he will be granting allies +5 to saves from his cha as well as resistance to damage from spells. Incredibly good going up against the wizards of Aeor he knew he would encounter. I didn’t want to go to 10 with Paladin because I didn’t want to be immune to frightened. I just felt that fear played too large a role in the reasons the gods were here and although aura of courage is probably my favorite ability going back to 3rd edition, I felt like it wasn’t right for Ayden. He had to fear in order to reinforce his need to hope. 
These two classes were set relatively quickly and then I began looking at how else I was going to build him out. 
I really liked the idea of being able to grant my allies some extra attacks and so I was looking at battle master to get commanders strike and goading attack as well as maneuvering attack to help take hits for and position my allies. Action Surge is also a great ability that could really come in handy if I needed to save someone and needed one extra action to do so. 
I was also looking at the 2nd level Divination Wizard ability Portent. The ability to fully dictate 2 rolls is very powerful in certain circumstances, especially if the numbers are very high or very low.
Both these seemed good but weren’t feeling totally right from a character perspective. They felt too forced.
As I was playing around with these two classes I was also building Aydens backstory. I really liked the idea of him being agriculturally focused, as this aspect of the Dawnfather is actually his youngest. Sun begets days, and thus time and seasons, and as civilization evolves agriculture follows. The fighter levels lent the idea that he has spent some time training under a knight or some such warrior, and I knew that he would eventually find his way to Trist to begin his tutelage and become her cleric. I liked there being these different eras of his life. 
It was around this time that I got an awesome email asking me to describe Ayden visually so that the incredibly talented Hannah Friederichs and Cael Lyons could begin to bring Ayden and the Dawnfather to life. I wanted Ayden to be a simply dressed with a shield he took from his mentor, but no sword for striking. They sent 4 sketches and told me I could mix and match as I desired. Image #1 however was exactly as I had envisioned him. It was the simplest and had this depth to his eyes that told the story of a much older soul in this 15 year old body. It was so perfect that it made me realize I had been going in the totally wrong direction with fighter and wizard. The concepts of nature and agriculture were suddenly staring me in the face. It was not wizard, but druid, and his mentor could have taught him to be a paladin as easily as fighter, but if he is the bringer of agriculture who has he brought it to? A remote tribe still hunting and gathering was the answer. Barbarian therefore replaced fighter. I can’t tell you how influential the sketch I received was. It felt like a bolt of lightning suddenly clarified everything. 
I was for sure cleric 6, Paladin 7 and now looking at druid and barbarian. 
I didn’t know Druid subclasses very well but Circle of the Stars jumped out from the pack just with its name. The Sun after all is a star. When I read its 2nd level abilities Starmap and Starry form it was so obvious. I can cast Guiding Bolt to set up those attacks I wanted to grant, and I can glow instead of wild shape and either heal more or have a massive bonus to maintain the concentration spells I knew I wanted to cast. For the keeper of time to know how to read the stars just felt right. It also feel right that the druids of a tribe that had been hunting and gathering during the tumultuous Calamity would have learned to navigate by the stars, a singular constant in an every changing age. 
Barbarian has a number of interesting subclasses but none felt like they clicked. 1 level of Barbarian though, for a character with 20 dexterity and 20 constitution, catapults your AC to 20 and it also gives you a proficiency in Constitution saving throws if you take it as your first class, again reinforcing those concentration rolls. He was found as a child by this barbarian tribe and his first class is also his first community. Barbarian was the strong foundation I would build upon. 
I was now Cleric 6, Paladin 7, Druid 2, Barbarian 1. Reorganized to be the order Ayden would have taken them in it becomes the following:
Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 7 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 6 (Peace Domain)
4 more levels to distribute. As a player who has mostly played 3.5 (I think downfall just about doubled the amount of 5E I have played) feats are my absolute favorite things, so getting to multiples of 4 in class levels to grab some was something I wanted to do (also I didn’t have to worry about ability score increases)! I had already given one feat up by taking barb and druid but I made up for it with the human variant. I also took the Knight of Solamnia background to give me Squire of Solamnia, the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns which would give me the ability to grant attacks to my allies without needing battle maneuvers. 
So I upped paladin from 7-8 for a feat and then decided to take Cleric from 6-9 because it gave me a feat and access to the spell Dawn. I mean the Dawnfather should be able to cast Dawn after all! 
Now to feats
1) Background: Squire of Solamnia to give me the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns
2) Human Variant: Remarkable Recovery. I knew I’d be taking extra damage so having 5 extra hp from any healing I get might just be the difference. It also plays into his background. He had to leave the Barbarian tribe he brought agriculture to because his skin could not retain the ceremonial tattoo ink that would have symbolized his initiation into the community. 
3) Cleric 4 Warcaster to get advantage on those concentration checks, that along with proficiency and starry form of the dragon means I need to take 28 damage (56 if it’s a spell) to even have to roll, and when I do I get advantage and proficiency on the check. Getting me to lose concentration is gonna be a task. 
4) Paladin 4 Knight of the Crown getting to grant an attack proficiency times per day combos wonderfully with Starmaps free guiding bolt, conveniently also proficiency times per day. 
5) Cleric 8 Spelldriver I’m gonna be casting a bunch of spells so the ability to cast multiple each turn is going to make my support spells come out much faster. I have a big fam to take care of!
6) Paladin 8 Tough I really went back and forth between this and Inspiring Leader. Granting all my siblings 25 temp hp is amazing but ultimately I decided that as I’d be tanking a bunch of damage I’d need toughness. Toughness gave me 15 more hp than Inspiring leader would have, and I ended up going down to 14 at one point so it was a decision that very much paid off by a single HP! Don’t wanna pop a deathward if you can help it!
Last but not least we were granted 2 magic items. One very rare and one uncommon. For my uncommon I chose a cloak of resistance, a parting gift from the tribe that Ayden could not join. This upped my saves to 11s or 17s and took my AC to 23. For his very rare magic item I took a spellguard shield, inherited from the knight who brought him from the remote tribe to Trist‘s school, giving me advantage on saving throws vs spells and magical effects and inflicting disadvantages on spell effects targeting me. Combine that with resistance to spells from Aura of Warding and that’s a nasty nasty combo v wizards. 
All in all Ayden’s build is an incredibly hard to target tanky support character who can move through the battlefield protecting his allies and being an absolute nightmare for enemy spellcasters. The only thing I really didn’t fully consider was just how much damage he would take from Warding Bond which totally bypasses all those wonderfully crafted defenses. As crazy as it is, I think we barely got to scratch the surface of Aydens full potential and it’s probably good those mages decided to cast spells at everyone else because Ayden was going to be a tough character for a spell caster to crack. The Commanding Rally did get to shine allowing characters who specialized in weapon attacks to get a little extra out of those 20 level commitments. Ayden’s build was crafted to keep his siblings alive and let them shine as bright as possible together. I’m very proud of him!
If you read all this then you’re as nerdy as me and deserve a reward!
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novy2sirius · 1 month
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THE VENUS DEGREES
based on numerology
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ෆ tw: trauma, food/eating
ෆ this is based on the numerical meanings (numerology) of these numbers not degree theory
ෆ the whole chart matters. take this with a grain of salt
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VENUS AT 1°/10°/19°/28°: people with these venus degrees will be attracted to/date people that have more dominant and masculine energy. their beauty will be similar to aries beauty. defined features, thick brows, an intimidating stare, etc. these people can sometimes struggle with relationships and attract lots of conflict in their relationships or people that. these degrees can be good for wealth (especially 28°)
VENUS AT 2°: people with these venus degrees will be attracted to/date people that are more feminine or less aggressive. their beauty is very feminine and they often have beautiful body’s. they tend to have softer features rather than sharp ones. these people often end up marrying their soulmate. this is a great degree to have your venus at when it comes to romance and beauty. sometimes this can manifest as someone being a hoe
VENUS AT 3°/12°/21°: people with these venus degrees are attracted to/date people that are funny, outgoing, and that have a fun child-like energy to them. these people tend to have a youthful beauty and possibly a baby face. a lot also have bunny teeth. this degree is great for romance when it comes to communicating, but can indicate being cheated on a lot or being with people who lack responsibility before getting married and finding someone good for you
VENUS AT 4°/13°: people with these venus degrees are attracted to/date hard working people that can be stable on their own and don’t need to rely on anyone else for anything. they will not be with someone who brings a ton of chaos into their life long term. when it comes to their career they’re huge workhorses and actually enjoy working or usually have careers that they really love. these degrees in your venus are major wealth indicators as well
VENUS AT 5°/14°/23°: people with these venus degrees are attracted to people/date people that are on the more attractive side physically. they want someone who makes them feel like a free spirit and wants to travel the world with them and just go on lots of adventures and have fun. if someone tries to tie them down too much or rush into commitment it will be a huge turn off for them. physically these people tend to be very attractive to society. these people tend to be great entertainers as well
VENUS AT 6°/15°/24°: people with these venus degrees are often attracted to/date people that are homebody’s and want to chill with them all the time. they like people who are very caring, nurturing, and should ideally be with someone more family oriented. these people are really good in bed and know how to please their sexual partners. random, but these people tend to really love food and animals too. at times these people can struggle to find someone because they’re at home too much
VENUS AT 7°/16°/25°: people with these venus degrees are often attracted to/date intelligent people. you have to have something special about you for these people to like you. they are very picky. sometimes people with these degrees in their venus can be players since one of 7’s challenging traits is “falling weak to perversions”. physically these people tend to have glow ups when they’re older and don’t peak when they’re younger/in school. these degrees can be the hardest to have your venus in since 7 is a very challenging number for love in numerology. at very worst these degrees in your venus could indicate divorce occurring at least twice, but not that you’ll never be happy with your love life
VENUS AT 8°/17°/26°: people with these venus degrees are often attracted to people/date people that are powerful and confident. at times these people can be a bit controlling in relationships, but they are usually only this way because of past traumas. physically these people tend to be very beautiful unless they have a lot of unresolved negative karma which can show up in their appearance (especially with these degrees in venus). these people will experience lots of karmic lessons (more so than most) surrounding romance and may have a more challenging love life than most. they tend to end up in a happy marriage as long as they’re good people and don’t cheat
VENUS AT 0°/9°/18°/27°: people with these venus degrees are often attracted to people/date people that are introverted/shy, compassionate, charming, intelligent, and very attractive. they themselves also tend to very attractive to society. these people can make great models and become beauty symbols. they may have a challenging love life though (especially 27° venus’). a challenge these people often face in relationships is that they struggle to let go of grudges and can be dramatic at times. at worst because of their adaptive persona they will stay with people who aren’t good for them because they’re comfortable. career wise these people can become very famous though and are very artistically talented
VENUS AT 11°/20°/29°: people with these venus degrees are attracted to/date people that are emotional, intuitive, charismatic, athletic, or masculine. these people can make a lot of money from things related to expressing emotions such as acting or from their athletic abilities. besides 2° these are the best degrees you can have your venus at for romance and this indicates having a happy marriage
VENUS AT 22°: people with these venus degrees are very attracted to/date wise, confident, powerful, and hardworking people. they tend to come off as very old souls and also may date older souls too. spiritually these people are amazing manifestors and have the ability to manifest lots of material wealth in this life. random, but these people can make lots of money from being any type of builder (examples: body builder, architect, etc)
comment your venus degree and what content you want to see next!!
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taeyongdoyoung · 25 days
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daddy's home
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summary: boyfriendless, jobless and hopeless, you rush to take the first opportunity you find, which is a nanny position. but the kids are not the only ones you grow fond of... pairing: seungcheol x reader genre: fluff, smut, single dad x nanny AU warnings: kids (triggering, i know), age gap (unspecified), mentions of past cheating, abandonment issues, potential therapy, male masturbation, confessions, blowjob, kissing, eating out, protected sex (unbelievable), dirty talk, size kink, pet names (sweetheart, angel, darling, little girl), sir+daddy kink, unprotected sex (with baby-making goal), breeding kink, creampie, more kids (sorry im ovulating) author's note: this is loosely based on the sitcom the nanny in that there's a single dad with three kids but minus the dead wife trope cuz that's too depressing for my tastes word count: 4.3k
You are desperate. Your shitty boyfriend cheated on you, broke up with you and you also lost your job. So it’s been a couple of terrible weeks. Now, you would take pretty much any kind of job as long as it pays enough for you to afford food and the bills. ASAP.
Single dad looks for a live-in nanny for his three kids. Full-time with Sundays off. Contact this number for more details.
Okay, truth be told, you’ve never considered yourself as someone who is good with kids. But how hard can it be? Have you mentioned you’re desperate?
“Listen, Miss L/N,” Mr. Choi, your potential future employer starts. “I appreciate your enthusiasm but I’m not just going to hire you. I’m looking for someone with experience.”
“Well, I have a bunch of nephews, if they turned out alright under my care, then I guess that counts for something,” you chuckle.
“That’s very nice but I’m talking about professional experience. Have you been a nanny before?”
“Technically, no, but how can I get experience if you won’t hire me?”
“Touché,” Mr. Choi laughs.
“How about a trial period? Let me spend some time with your kids under your supervision and prove myself capable.”
Mr. Choi nods reluctantly.
“Well, you’re in luck since my little goblins have driven away five nannies in the past month.”
Oh, dear. Five nannies…And here you were thinking this could be an easy job.
“So, what’s one more?” you chuckle nervously and Mr. Choi shakes your hand, agreeing to give you a chance.
You are excited when meeting his kids. The eldest daughter - Chaerry is 15, very elegant and polite. You think that you’ll have no problems with her and you’ll have lots to talk about. The middle child and only son - Dino is 10, extremely mischievous and loud. You’ll definitely have problems. Finally, the youngest daughter, Elsie, is 5, she’s such a cutie but leaves a mess of her toys everywhere she goes. It’s easy to trip if you’re not careful, but nothing you can’t handle.
The trial period goes by in a flash. Dino attempts to get on your nerves by pulling pranks like hiding fake spiders in your bag and spraying your outfit with ketchup, but you accept all that with an easygoing laugh. Elsie constantly asks you to play with her toys and you need an unlimited source of ideas to keep up with her wild imagination, but it feels more like fun than a job. Chaerry is quiet and doesn’t share much at the beginning but eventually tells you about this boy at school she has a crush on. So, you count that as a success.
“I must admit, Miss L/N, I had some worries at first but seeing how quickly my kids accepted you is remarkable,” Mr. Choi shares his observations with you at the end of the trial period.
“So, am I hired, then?” you beam with excitement.
“Absolutely, yes. The kids have taken a liking to you and changing nannies so often is probably not great for them, either.”
“So true. Kids need stability and I would be happy to stick around for as long as you’ll have me, Mr. Choi,” you are thrilled not only because you will have a bed to sleep, food to eat and money to spend, but because you are genuinely looking forward to spending more time with these little munchkins.
And spend time with them you do. You're not sure what exactly it is that makes the kids warm up to you, but whatever the reason, it's working.
With Chaerry, you talk about boys and high school drama and make-up. On one occasion, she tells you something that sincerely touches you.
“Thank you for being my best friend, Y/N. I know I shouldn't keep stuff from my dad, but he can be so overprotective sometimes it's difficult to talk about...well, going on dates with boys, mostly.”
“Aww, Chae, you can tell me anything. It'll be our little secret,” you give her a wink, followed by a hug.
You're not exactly sure what the correct response here is. But you'll make sure to maintain some kind of balance - both look after her safety so that Mr. Choi sleeps peacefully at night and not betray Chaerry's trust in you.
With Dino, after the initial phase of silly pranks passes, you notice that he's become more honest and calm.
“You won't leave us like our mom and all the other nannies did, will you?” he asks you one afternoon as you're watching TV together.
You haven't asked Mr. Choi what exactly happened with these kids' mother because frankly, it's none of your business, but something is telling you they're a lot more hurt than they let on.
“I'm not going anywhere, Dino,” you promise, though really, it's up to Mr. Choi to decide that.
“Good. It would really suck if you left.”
That's a lot, coming from the kid who damaged like half of your wardrobe with all kinds of sauces.
With Elsie, another strange situation takes place due to the fact that the kid has no filter.
“Let's play family!”
“Um, okay,” you agree without thinking much.
“This will be daddy,” Elsie points at a stuffed lion plushie and then grabs a tiger plushie, “And this is you, mommy!”
“Oh, honey. I'm not your mommy,” you try to explain as gently as possible.
“But can you be? Daddy says our mommy left and has a new family somewhere else.”
Okay, that's a lot to unpack here. Though you don't think it is your place, you'll need to have a conversation with Mr. Choi, because the kids obviously have some kind of unresolved trauma...
One evening, after the kids have gone to sleep, instead of going to your room, you wait in the living room for your employer to come back from work, so you can approach the subject as delicately as you can.
“Good evening, Miss L/N. Kids go to bed?” he greets you as he takes off his coat.
“Evening, Mr. Choi. Yes, they did. I was wondering if we can have a chat. It can be a sensitive topic, I'm sure, but for the sake of the kids, I think it's important.”
Mr. Choi nods and takes a seat next to you on the couch.
“About their mother...”
“I was wondering how long it'd take you to bring that up,” he chuckles bitterly. “Other nannies wanted me to spill the tea on day one.”
“Wow, seriously?”
“It's not like it's this big secret, I just prefer not to talk about it unless absolutely necessary. My ex-wife...cheated on me and got pregnant by another man, so we had a divorce and I kept the kids, because she said she wants to start anew with this other guy, and...well, the kids said this is their home and that they won't move. So, I suppose the judge took that under consideration.”
“My God. I had no idea.”
“You couldn't have known, considering I just said I don't enjoy revisiting those painful memories.”
“Yes, of course, I only meant that...I guess it explains some things. Forgive me for saying this, but I think the kids have some kind of abandonment issues. Elsie and Dino, in particular, they seem to have a fear that I'll leave just like...well, their mom and the other nannies.”
“And are you? Leaving, I mean.”
“Not if I can help it. Mr. Choi, your kids are very vibrant and precious to me. I genuinely love my job. But I'm worried that what happened with your ex-wife affected them more than they show. Maybe you should look into therapy?”
“I will definitely take that into consideration. Thank you for your candour, Miss L/N.”
“You're most welcome.”
“What about Chaerry?”
“What about her?”
“You said that Elsie and Dino express these abandonment issues. Does Chaerry not have them?”
“She probably does, but at the moment she's too busy thinking about boys.”
“Boys? At her tender age? I don't think so,” Mr. Choi immediately goes into ultra alpha protective dad mode and you honestly find it kind of funny. And hot.
“Oh, relax, Mr. Choi. It's just typical high school drama. There's nothing to be worried about.”
He shakes his head disapprovingly.
“I'm counting on you. Does it ever occur to you how quickly they grow up?”
“I suppose it's more difficult for you. I've only known them for a few months but I think I get what you mean.”
“Yeah...How strange, it feels like you've been part of this family forever.”
You try not to think too deeply about it. He...considers you part of this family. Elsie called you mommy. Dino doesn't want you to leave. And Chaerry talks to you about boys. A topic, which girls usually discuss with their mothers. Oh, sweet heavens. Maybe, this nanny gig is becoming more than a job...
One Monday Mr. Choi texts you not to come to work this Saturday, as the kids will be spending some time with their grandparents (aka Mr. Choi's parents). However, the moment you receive the text, you're too busy trying to escape from Dino who is chasing you with a water gun in the garden. So, you somehow forget to put it down in your calendar.
Saturday arrives and poor Mr. Choi thinks you'd be in your own apartment. Finally, some peace and quiet. His parents picked up the kids early in the morning to go to the park with them so he's all alone and free to do as he pleases.
But alas, you go down the stairs of Mr. Choi's enormous house and make your way to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for the kids. However, it's too quiet. Hm, how strange. Maybe, they're not awake yet? You shrug as you pour some milk and cereal in a bowl.
Oh, you hear some noise from the living room. Is that the TV? Your curiosity gets the better of you and you enter it only to find Mr. Choi in a very compromising position. He is touching himself, watching very obscene things on the big screen!
You are on the verge of chastising your boss for doing something like that in the living room, where the kids could walk in any minute, when you remember. The kids...They're with their grandparents today. Which means that...Fuck, you're not supposed to be here. You should be at your own apartment instead of being witness to...your very sexy and very single employer taking care of his needs.
You are going to sneak back into the kitchen and wait for a more appropriate time to leave the house when you hear it. At first you think you're hallucinating but then you hear it twice. Your name.
“Y/N...please, let me-” Mr. Choi moans, his eyes closed, he is unaware of your presence.
However, he doesn't get to finish his sentence because you are so shocked that you drop the bowl of cereal, which shatters on the ground with a loud noise.
“Fuck, I'm so so sorry,” you murmur nervously as your boss finally notices you watching him.
His cheeks flushed, his lips pouting, he is the most adorable you've ever seen him. He hurries to tuck his cock back into his pants and turn off the TV.
“N-no, I'm sorry...Miss L/N, what are you doing here?”
Oh, so you're Miss L/N now...Very well, then.
“I apologize. It must have slipped my mind that the kids are with their grandparents today.”
“It must have,” Mr. Choi repeats coldly, obviously embarrassed by this situation.
You wonder if you should tell him what you heard. Would that be unprofessional? But then again, he is the one who said your name, so...what is professional anyway?
“Do you want me to leave?”
He sighs deeply.
“What's the point? You already saw me...fuck, I feel so humiliated.”
“Why would you feel humiliated? Am I so undesirable that my presence immediately turned you off?” you ask bluntly.
“That's not the case and you know it.”
“I'm not sure I know anything anymore,” you admit. “You...said my name. How is that supposed to make me feel?”
“You were never meant to hear that,” Mr. Choi hides his face behind his hands, the redness refusing to leave his complexion.
“But I did. So, what now?”
“Please, don't quit. I realize that what I did is unforgivable but...the kids care about you so much, it would devastate them to lose you.”
“I wasn't even thinking of quitting. But...are the kids the only ones who care about me?” you need to know.
“No...As it so happens, I care about you.”
“So, stop hiding from me,” you don't know where that boldness comes from as you grab his wrists and remove his hands, so you can look at his face. Fuck, he's so pretty.
“You're not...grossed out by me?” Mr. Choi blinks at you in surprise.
“Kinda flattered, actually,” you confess. “But I'd like it much better if you let me take care of your frustrations.”
“You would?” he is unable to believe his luck when you drop on your knees in front of him and take him out of his pants again, engulfing his cock with your pretty mouth. “Y/N...”
The way he says your name is enough to make you even more enthusiastic, sucking him deeper and bobbing your head to the best of your abilities. He grips your hair tightly and you make sure not a drop is spilled as you swallow his cum down your throat. You wipe off your lips and sit down next to him, unsure of what to do next.
“Mr. Choi...”
“Call me Cheol, please.”
“Cheol...may I kiss you?”
Seungcheol doesn't respond and instead kisses you passionately, grabbing your face with his hands. His tongue is exploring your mouth in ways you'd never imagined could bring so much pleasure and you can't resist the urge to sit in his lap. Somehow, against all reason, he's hard again, as you grind against him. Fuck. He's so hot and sweet and amazing you just want to make him happy. How anyone could cheat on this fine man is beyond you.
“Um...not to assume or anything, but do you have a condom?” you ask sheepishly.
“I do, yes,” Seungcheol goes to his coat and brings a package.
“I mean, don't get me wrong, I love kids, but I think we should be responsible considering this is our first time together and you already have three of your own,” you're probably talking too much but oh well. Better safe than sorry.
“No, I understand. You're totally right.”
“Will you fuck me?” you inquire.
“Here? On the couch?” Seungcheol is in disbelief.
“Well...you were touching yourself here, but I guess it's whatever. Your home, after all.”
He chuckles, suddenly embarrassed again.
“Come on, let's go to my room.”
Seungcheol offers you his hand and you follow him upstairs excitedly. Is this really happening? Are you seriously going to do this with your boss?
He lifts your chin up because he notices you're not meeting his eyes out of nervousness.
“Look at me,” he commands you easily and you're on the verge of falling apart and he hasn't even undressed you yet. The power this man holds over you... “We don't have to do this if you're not ready.”
“It's not that. I do want this. It's just...I don't remember if I told you but I was also cheated on. A little before I came to work here. And like, I haven't been intimate for a while, so I'm nervous. What if I mess something up?”
“Okay, first of all, give me that asshole's address, I just wanna talk. And second of all...darling, I haven't been intimate since way before my divorce took place. Trust me, I'm a lot more nervous than you right now.”
You shake your head.
“Whatever you do, I'm sure I'll find it like super hot.”
Seungcheol laughs and tilts his head, kissing you again.
“You're so cute,” he whispers against your mouth. “I can't wait to ruin you.”
And just like that, it's as if a switch is flipped. He pushes you onto the bed and leans above you menacingly, a devilish smirk painting his pretty face. Seungcheol pushes your dress up hurriedly, touching you all over.
“You really thought you could get away with it, huh? Walking around my house in those dresses of yours looking so sexy? Tempting me?”
“N-no, s-sir,” you murmur, not knowing where the title is coming from.
“God, I'm such a cliché. An old man unable to resist the gorgeous young nanny...”
“You're not old, sir,” you try to reassure him. You're not sure if he's just engaging in dirty talk or is actually having some insecurities. He's still young in your eyes. Whatever the case, you're there for him.
“Don't lie to me, sweetheart. I'm too old for ya...I have three kids. What do you have, hm?” Seungcheol speaks while caressing your pussy through your panties.
“I have you, sir,” you smile and palm his dick teasingly.
He sighs wistfully and buries his head between your folds, licking and teasing until you're a soaking mess for him.
“S-sir, p-please...C-cheol, don't stop,” you cry out helplessly.
It feels so good, too good. He holds you down, hands gripping your thighs as you cum against his tongue. He barely gives you any time to recover as he rolls up a condom on his cock. You stare at him hungrily, impatient to have him inside of you.
Seungcheol is like the drug everyone warned you about. Once you have him, you won't be able to quit.
“Are you ready?” he asks softly in sharp contrast with his previous behaviour.
“Please take me, Cheol,” you would beg if you had to.
And take you he does, entering you deeply with his big cock.
“Fuck, you're so tight, barely fitting me in,” he speaks, stroking your clit in circular motions with his thumb, while he fucks you harshly.
“It's okay, I won't break, sir,” you try to convince him.
“What if I want you to break, little girl?” Seungcheol inquires, his voice half-joking, half-serious, as he.
“Then, I'd be happy to serve you, daddy,” the word slips from your lips before you could think twice about it.
“Daddy, huh? You need daddy to make you cum?” you are grateful he plays along instead of making fun of you in this very vulnerable moment.
“Yes, daddy, please, I'll do anything for you,” you promise in a daze.
“Cum for me, sweet girl, let daddy take care of you,” his deep voice is enough to bring you to the edge.
“Fuuuck, daddy...Cheol,” you mumble repeatedly, as white appears before your eyes.
You're shaking in his arms but it feels like flying.
“I've got you, angel, daddy's right here,” Seungcheol comforts you, as he rides out his own high, spilling inside the condom. Then, taking it off and throwing it in the garbage bin, he hurries back to you.
You make grabby hands at him and he envelops you in a hug.
“I'm here, sweetheart,” he kisses your forehead gently and you melt against his chest.
“Cheol...I think you just murdered me a little,” you laugh.
“Well, then, I better make sure I revive you, because I can't imagine my life without you.”
“Good. You ain't getting rid of me.”
“That sounds perfect because me and the kids would like you to stick around.”
“Oh God, the kids! What time are they coming back?”
“We've got time, don't worry, they should-”
“Daaaad, we're home!” you hear Dino's loud voice from downstairs.
“Fuck,” Cheol curses under his breath and the two of you hurry to make yourselves look somewhat presentable.
Once dressed and back in the living room, you can only hope that you're not too obvious about what went down. However, you can't stop yourself from glancing at Seungcheol and he's just as flustered as you.
“Oh, hi, Y/N,” Dino greets you as if it's completely normal for you to be there. As if you belong.
“How was your time with your grandparents?” you ask, trying to act casual.
“We had so much ice cream!” Elsie squeals excitedly.
“Grandma and Grandpa took us to the park,” Chaerry starts telling you about everything they did in great detail and you are glad that the shy girl you first met is becoming a confident young woman.
Elsie is asking for more ice cream but Seungcheol is explaining that it's lunch time. Dino is painting the table with mustard and honestly, that's so on brand for him...
It is funny where desperation brought you. You realize this is the happiest you've been in a while.
Later, when Seungcheol catches you alone after spending the afternoon with the kids, he asks:
“I know we kinda messed up the proper order of things, but...would you like to go on a date with me?”
“Oh! I'd love that, Cheol. Is it okay to still call you that?”
“Yeah, it's alright.”
“What about in front of the kids? I'm not sure to what point you'd like to mix professional with...personal life.”
“In front of the kids is okay, too,” he laughs, scratching the back of his head. “Actually, do you know what Elsie keeps asking me?”
“What?”
“When will you make Y/N my new mommy?”
“Yeah, that definitely sounds like something Elsie would say.”
“So, um, no pressure. But I think you're more than the nanny to me.”
“Well, I would certainly hope so. I didn't raise you, mister!”
Seungcheol can't miss the opportunity for a joke. He takes hold of your hand and places it on top of his...very hard dick.
“You raised him, though,” he whispers.
“Mr. Choi!” you hiss, scandalized. “I mean...Cheol.”
“Did you mean daddy?” Seungcheol teases you relentlessly.
“Stop it, you deviant!” you shake your head. “Fuck, you'll never let me live this down, will ya?”
“Do you kiss your boss with that mouth?” he smirks.
“Don't mind if I do,” you reply and bring your lips to his.
A year passes by quickly. You love every day of your life. Whether it'll be spending time with the kids, or going on fun dates with your boss turned boyfriend, or having mind-blowing sex with said specimen, you are truly happy with how things turned out for the best.
With one tiny thing missing.
“Cheol, can I ask you something?” you mumble one evening, as you are playing with his soft, fluffy hair.
“Of course, sweetheart,” Seungcheol turns towards you, giving you his fullest attention.
“Have you ever thought about having more kids?”
“Hmm, it hasn't crossed my mind. I already have three kids. But it depends. Is that something you're interested in?”
“Not till now. But if it's with you, I'd love to have a kid,” you confess shyly.
“Well, then, let's make you a mommy,” Seungcheol quickly makes it his mission and for the first time, doesn't use a condom.
“Yes, please, daddy, give me your cum,” you moan wantonly, as he fucks you deep.
“Take it like the good girl you are, I'll give you all I've got, fuck a baby in ya,” he grunts in your ear, sounding even more excited than you are.
“I love it, feel so full,” you whimper and can't stop kissing him. You can't believe this beautiful man is yours and wants to give you another present.
“That's right, sweetheart, I'll stuff you full of it,” he moans and releases himself inside you. Your walls clench around him, pulling him deeper, as you reach your high.
Seungcheol gently pushes the cum that's spilling out of your pussy back inside and lifts your legs up.
“Do you think it'll stick?” you ask doubtfully.
“Can't hurt to try again until it does,” he shrugs, determined to succeed.
Nine months later, as you welcome the twins into the family, you realize you've never expected to achieve so much happiness.
“You really had to outdo yourself and give me not one but two babies,” you playfully push Seungcheol's shoulder.
“Is it too late now to say sorry?” he grins nervously.
“Don't be. I'm more than satisfied. But you'll have to give me a raise!”
“I'll give you something better than that,” Seungcheol promises and pulls a diamond ring out of his pocket.
“Oh my God,” you are in shock.
“Y/N...you've given me more than I could ever hope to deserve. You started off as a nanny but you became my three kids' best friend and now, the mother of two more angels. You became my closest person, my source of joy, my sweetheart. Knowing that I can come home to you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Will you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife?”
“Yes, of course, yes!” you say through your tears and kiss him, as he slides the ring on your finger.
“Can I call you mommy now?” Elsie peeks her adorable head behind the door, followed by Dino and Chaerry, who are all excited by the good news.
“Congratulations, Y/N!” Chaerry greets you with a hug and whispers: “Thanks for taking one for the team and making our lonely old man. happy.”
“Hey, I heard that!” Seungcheol complains loudly.
Dino jumps on the back of his dad with a loud squeal.
“You better treat her right, Dad!” the boy warns. “Or I'll ketchup your room!”
“Why do I feel like I'm the one being welcomed into the family?” Seungcheol bemoans his fate but he's never smiled wider.
“You'll get used to it,” you joke. “Come on, guys, meet your new brother and sister.”
“Hii, babies!” Elsie and Dino jump excitedly around the twins.
“Oh, they're so cute! Aren't they so cute, Dad?” Chaerry coos at the babies.
“They are, but it's too early for you to think about how cute babies are. Look at me...I already have five. Isn't it tragic?” Seungcheol keeps messing around.
“It could have been twelve or something,” you play along.
“I can't imagine,” Seungcheol cries out indignantly. But deep down, maybe he can.
The End
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inkskinned · 10 months
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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)
i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.
i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.
i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.
in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.
i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.
i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.
my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.
i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.
i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.
it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.
almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.
i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.
i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.
write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.
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fum1ku · 3 months
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HIM AS A DAD - HQ BOYS
ft. osamu miya, daichi sawamura, koushi sugawara, kiyoomi sakusa, shoyo hinata, shinsuke kita
OSAMU: your kids are absolutely being raised in the kitchen when it comes to osamu being their dad. he wants his kids to have cooking skills and the love food that he has. it’s definitely a common occurrence to come home and see him holding your kid in one hand while he’s tending to whatever he has cooking up on the stove with the other. more than that, as a dad he’s very patient and loving. he wants two kids—boy and a girl, but of course he loves them regardless.
DAICHI: this man is an absolute godsend when it comes to you and your kids. need him to help out with something? well, he’s already on it. there is no “mom job” this or “dad job” that”—you’re both in this together, all the way. even if his work schedule can be a grueling or hectic, that doesn’t stop him from being there when you need him. he’s willing to take as much time off work as you need him to do he can help you out with the kids as much as possible. he’s also a pretty big family guy—and when i say that, i mean 3 or 4 kids is a good number for him. he wants his kids to have the big family he had growing up, but he also is okay with just a kid or two if that’s what you want.
KOUSHI: he’s great with kids. he’s an elementary school teacher, so of course he has to be! but seeing him with your kid absolutely makes your heart melt. he’s the sweetest, most gentle father to his kids. even more than that,he treats his kids with a lot of respect. he doesn’t shit down their creativity or questions—he takes the time to explain the whys and hows. and regardless of him being an actual teacher, he’s just a great teacher to your kid alone because he’s so willing to talk and explain things. i see him having one or two kids.
KIYOOMI: regardless of what people may think, kiyoomi is an amazing dad. he really is. he comes home from a long day of practice to find himself on the couch with the baby propped up on his chest, sound asleep. his kids are definitely daddy’s boys or girls because you could try all night to get the fussy baby put down for bed, but as soon as kiyoomi picks ‘em up they’re fast asleep in your arms. while he’s maybe not the biggest fan of the messier parts of fatherhood, he’s still here and willing because it’s you and his kid. one kid is definitely enough for him, though—i really like the idea of him as a girl dad, or just having a daughter and her being “daddy’s little girl”.
SHOYO: i think he’d have kids while he’s on the younger side—20 to 23. i can see him in brazil, after a long day of food delivers, coming home to you and his baby and feeling like life is complete. he absolutely, no questions asked, teaches your kid to play volleyball and as they get older he plays with them regularly. he’s definitely the kind of dad to “make it happen” or just make the best out of a bad situation. he’s obviously not making a lot of money while he’s a good deliver guy in brazil, but that downer stop him from going above and beyond for his kid and making the most fun memories. i see him really only having one kid, maybe two—boy or girl, he can go either way!
SHINSUKE: he of course passes down his grandma’s tradition of diligence and hard work. he helps his kids notice the small details of life, more than the weekly floor scrubbing or house cleaning. he’s a hard worker and he wants his kids to be the same. i also see him having his kids from a young age “help” him in the rice fields. and i say “help” because how much work can the 5-year old and 7-year old actually be doing? he loves you and the kids to death and is more than willing to give you guys the world. i also can see him as a girl dad, but i think he can go either way!
© fum1ku 2024.
⁂ taglist: @chloiyoomi @eashn @mikauraurr @miffysoo @nursedflowers @en-geneisaxx
i absolutely plan to add onto this soon with more details for each of them personally!!
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