#feels abelist tbh

[thediamondarcher]

Tori and Michael say/do the most autistic/neurodivergent coded things and there are people who are waiting for them to be canonically autistic to call them that, there're real autistic people who don't even have a diagnosis and that doesn't mean they aren't autistic and we're talking about characters here like, bfr

[deareststurns]

Nick and his drama rn.

Listen I know I'm probably gonna get some hate for this but I don't even care tbh. Nick needs his shit clocked so badly and Imma do it (even if it he's not gonna see it I wanna inform you guys and just speak my opinion). Nick has been such a shitty human being recently. 1. I want to talk about how he is going to be the absolute downfall of Sturniolo's nation. He needs to start respecting his fans better number one, simply because without us he wouldn't be where he is now. I get that some fans go absolutely over the top and I get that, but saying his chat is “Helen Kellers” and just being downright negative towards them isn't okay. 2. I want to talk about how not just him but all of them have a tendency to not speak about anything. They choose to ignore everything. 3. Speaking of that lets talk about his abelist comment. Whether he had the intention or not for it to sound that way, it was damn right not okay to his brother at that too. Now Chris has mentioned he feels like he has ADHD or such, but he's not diagnosed. But still, that doesn't mean anything, it's still highly offensive to others. And I feel like if he DOES decide to talk about It 1. He's gonna act like he's hot shit and be all like “I don't care what you say.” or he's just not going to speak about it at all, but he needs to apologize to fans, and his brother in my opinion. I'm excited about Twitch streams with Nick simply because you cannot cut anything out and i do feel as though other things will be said and i don’t believe this will be the first or last time this happens. And speaking of Twitch streams, I feel like the energy is so much better without him there. That's just a hot take of mine. Matt is more energetic, and chris can honestly be more himself without Nick constantly talking down on him, they actually talk to fans more. And honestly, I'm a Matt girl at heart but I feel like he seeks Nicks's approval in stuff and just follows his lead in things. In my opinion Chris is the only real humble and grateful one of the group and I love that for him. And Chris I feel like is always the odd one out if that makes sense. Nick is highly rude to him. And I know that they're “brothers” and its going to happen but its like constant in Twitch streams. Anyways I just feel like I needed to speak on this because its been pissing me off.

All in all he just needs to calm his shit and what he says on stream and in general and they’ll be fine. 😬

[miiilowo]

I have seen what they say about npd on Google but may I ask you for the truth or at least stuff people don't mention cause i have a feeling there is a ton of stuff they don't mention and they just focus on bullshit

Sorry if its worded weird I just wanna learn about npd from a better source

Ill start off by saying I'm not the best source since im just some dude who has it, but I dont blame you for asking me specifically, considering how most of the results when looking into NPD are very, very plainly abelist or misinformed. Hell, even some of the non-abelist sources have some things wrong with them.

Before I begin, I wanna get this out of the way (since its very common to encounter): 'narc abuse' isnt real. No illness or disorder will make someone abusive. Abuse is a choice, and is not something one can be born into; Claiming all narcissists are inherently abusive is incredibly abelist, and if someone tells you otherwise, either kindly inform them or beat them with hammers. Everyone is capable of kindness, and everyone is capable of abuse. There is no pattern of abuse that solely correlates to people with NPD. If someone is abusive, and they also happen to have NPD, thats an abuser who has NPD, not a narcissistic abuser. You know? While a disorder may contribute to choices people make, correlation is not causation.

I will say to anyone else reading this who has used the term before, or anyone who has used 'narcissist'/'narcissistic' to describe someone who hurt them--As long as you stop, I wont be mad at you. I know that for a lot of people, it simply doesn't occur to them that it might be hurtful. However, if you know about how it can be hurtful or abelist and you CONTINUE to use it, that's where we have a real issue.

A few people have asked how to refer to me as someone who has NPD, so ill also mention that here. while i dont mind being called a narcissist personally, a lot of people do Not like being called that. generally saying people with NPD or pwNPD for short is a safer bet.

ok, now that thats out of the way, heres some stuff i have tucked in my pocket. they should give you a decent enough idea of what its like, and if you have followup questions, absolutely feel free to ask!!! i dont mind helping de-stigmatize in any way i can. i wont think its annoying i prommy

National Library Of Medicine - NPD

Stigma in the DSM when it comes to how NPD is described (keep in mind for above link) - @/kindnessoverperfection

NPD criteria rewritten by someone who has it (explanations for changes also included) - @/kindnessoverperfection

Me responding to someone who asked what they can do to help out/accommodate living w someone w NPD. <- this one covers some of my personal experiences with it

Collection of resources and an explanation of ""narc supply"" - @/theegosystem

Perception of NPD symptoms vs. how someone may actually experience them - @/kindnessoverperfection

I'm not gonna go over every single symptom and how it affects me, but I do wanna talk about envy, entitlement and narc crashes because those are the things i tend to encounter the most often that are like. Actually Bad And Disordered. some of these traits arent really that bad (like being arrogant and having a big ego. if im constantly talking about how sexy and awesome i am idk how thats a bad thing TBH i recommend it for everyone. does wonders for the mental health. there is a bad side to it [which you can find in the links above] but in my experience its less prevalent of an issue than the stuff im ab to talk about)

For me PERSONALLY, its mostly a problem with ego regulation, and the perception I have of myself is HEAVILY reliant on how other people perceive me and how much positive attention I'm getting. If someone does not like me, it is absolutely devastating, far more than it should be for the average person (though i also suffer from RSD due to my other disorders so i dont imagine thats helping)

If I dont receive enough attention, receive too much negative attention, or am led to believe I'm not actually the specialest boy on planet earth who deserves to be picked up and spun around and kissed on the forehead it can lead to whats referred to as a 'narc crash', or just a crash. Whatever we've been telling ourselves to keep our ego intact has been shattered into pieces, and we'll get rather angry and depressed, though mostly depressed. (we as in people with npd). The length of the crash usually depends on the severity of what happened, and whats being done to amend it, as far as i can tell.

Small things that may contribute to a crash For Me (or just feeling sort of upset tbh) are not being the center of attention in a group conversation, not being perceived as being the Best at something, not being prioritized by other people, not being invited to do things (even if you KNOW you dont want to participate in the activity), and PEOPLE SENDING ME ANNOYING FUCKING ANONS ON TUMBLR (not you. youre fine. this is referring to other people) among other things. Just this general sorta. thang. will get under our skin more than most. like 100% of the time. there are an infinite number of examples, but these are a handful of the most consistent ones for me.

One other thing i want to highlight is the "Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations)" symptom. This is true but the wording is absolute dogshit. I do have a sense of entitlement; I feel like I deserve certain things, and i do heavily desire favorable treatment. However, I KNOW when those things are unreasonable. I know when it's unfair, I know when it's unrealistic, I know not everyone is going to be able to comply to my demands 100% of the time, but I really feel like the focus here should be on how UPSETTING it is when these things arent met vs how it sucks for other people. When I dont receive what i feel like i deserve, i just get. really sad and upset. I personally have the self control to not snap at people (usually; depends on if the infraction was fair or not), but the phrasing here makes it seem like if the person with npd isnt an asshole about it, then they dont have this issue. which is false. i shouldnt be worked up and wanting to cry because i didnt receive an award for something i know i dont technically deserve and didnt commit to. you know?????? idk. IDK man. (its this kind of thing that makes me INCREDIBLY competitive and its also why i never enter contests of any kind. if i dont win i will want to commit murder at a minimum. i am a sore loser)

Envy is also a big problem for me. I think (know?) that other people are envious of me and look up to me, but I'm envious of other people to like, what would be a friendship-ruining level if I actually expressed it all the time. Its an underlying sense of "i deserve this more than you, why are you receiving this, this isnt fair, this should be me instead" that becomes genuinely RAGE INDUCING when half the time its just like. someone telling me theyre going on a cool trip. lmao. like they dont have to be bragging they can just be like Hey check out this thing i get to do isnt that cool :3 bc they wanna share their happiness with me. it sucks. it really sucks. Hell, when I see my mutuals and peers receive fanart for their aus/ocs/etc i get so agitated i have to use xkits "block post" feature so i dont have to look at it LMAO

I do also wanna touch on the 'believes they are special and will only associate with special people or institutions' thing briefly, since its kinda vague. I like myself, and i'm only going to want to interact with people who are also "like me", because, to put it bluntly, i perceive them as being better. people who i cannot relate to get sorta. pushed to the side. and i dont want to say i look down on them, but thats the best descriptor i have for it; obviously, be kind to everyone above all else, but inside i WILL be annoyed by you if i perceive you as being boring and/or 'basic'. probably part of why i hate taylor swift fans so much TBH

Again, this description I've given is very personal, and may not wholly apply to other people w NPD--It also doesn't cover every trait/symptom, but is just a handful that I wanted to go over. Remember to check out the linked sources if you havent, and if anyone reading this has some extra links, I'd be happy to take them!!!! If you have any questions or need clarification on something, also feel free to ask :3

Edit: I feel like its important to note that while trauma is a common way for someone to develop NPD, (neglectful or abusive parents for example), its not the only way. theres a few different ways it can develop, and i personally did due to an excessive amount of praise in childhood, which is one of the more commonly listed causes. set up my brain to need that to function

[quiveringdeer]

alright yall, one neurospicy to another, I'd like some advice and/or opinions on how to give some more grace to another--unconfirmed but probably--neurospicy coworker.

cw:

this is me being real raw and vulnerable with my thoughts and trying not to make excuses but some of my thoughts and reactions are/seem(?) abelist and I'd like opinions on how to overcome these thought tendencies -so don't open if you don't have capacity for all this

Alright so this may just require more levels of personal growth on my part and finding better coping techniques that allow me to exist peacefully in the world without allowing the actions of others to disrupt that peace.

Okay so from my perspective and corroborated with observations from other coworkers--I know it's shitty to talk about people and I've also attempted to bring up certain things to this person but honestly feel like it's things that they probably don't have active control over which is why It's so fuckin hard to deal with cause I feel like I shouldn't get as annoyed as I do

They aren't the best at reading the tones of conversation and sometimes when they choose to speak on a topic it can come of random-to myself- and out of synch(?) with the rest of the convo

like having a kinda light hearted discussion and then they brought up the stuff that's going on with the AI and art fiasco that's a big conversation right now, and it was obviously something they were really passionate about and no one else at this going away dinner for a coworker who's leaving knew what this person was referencing except me. So I added to some of the context they provided and felt like it wasn't something that the others would really end up --I dunno being relevant to their lives? none of them are the type to buy digital art or things from random folks online, more like from a local artist or such--and maybe it's cause I have/assume that context and this person doesn't that they get really adamant on repeating how it's wrong what's going on and how people should be supporting true artists --a statement that everyone agreed with but it was an awkward atmosphere around the whole interaction.

Another recurring observation I've made (don't feel right using the word "trait" feels icky in this context?) Is that they can often latch onto a certain thought or action/task that they have difficulty deviating from if something else comes up/needs to be done instead or perhaps even someone is agreeing with them but they continue to restate their opinion in a way that I can perceive as, combative I guess. --The concept of this paragraph is one of the things I've tried bringing up to them a couple times now (they started back in september) by stating that I believe we're both misunderstanding eachother due to our assumptions of one another's tones and the way things are said. And that I think It's something that may continue to be a struggle for us but that I wanted to state it openly and try to hold one another to stopping the other and asking for clarity if we're feelin some type away about a conversation.

There are I feel a bunch of other minor things that can fray my patience but one last thing I'll mention that's come up frequently recently is tending to be very closed off and sharing offhanded remarks about having a tough time with their workload or something else but then not wanting to really have a talk to elaborate so that I or other coworkers can help remedy the situation/just be in the know-- Last week when it was just us in the office early I asked them how they were doing and how their project was going (cause their focus for their internship is a mostly independent project) and they confided that they've been really stressed tbh and then --I wanna say casually dropped but it wasn't really casual, they dropped that on top of them not having standard Microsoft office stuff on their personal computer to be able to work on some documents and create some flyers/PowerPoint presentations, they also have been working 6 days a week cause they have to work a second job to supplement their income, which NONE of us knew, so there hadn't even been the opportunity for our supervisor to then help figure out how to redistribute their workload. And I was shocked and so asked if they'd told the supervisor and they said no and went on to talk about how they're used to it, it's the way life's always been and they were obviously getting emotional about it--which I understand and tried to show support since I also have gone through times not having food available to me and such--but obviously it can be hard to open with people about trauma like that and so almost immediately they where like--yeah I don't want to talk about it anymore. And I suggested they should tell our supervisor because sometimes the way we help ourselves is by allowing other people to help us, but again they reiterated that they wanted to stop talking about it.

Because of them keeping a lot of their struggling with workload basically to themselves except for some offhanded comments about a mandatory course series they had to take specific to their project--unless one of us blatantly asks--Honestly I and other coworkers were assuming that their workload wasn't that much. Also, on certain occasions during office hours they would spend time working on these other time intensive courses for something completely unrelated to their job--granted It's to work towards a certification for something they learned about on the job and want to now pursue more of, but had been told by our supervisor that their position description duties needed to come first.

And It's like, they've mentioned around me before--earlier on in the internship, that they feel like no one ever gets them, and not feeling like they can connect with folks --and honestly for some reason I was definitely one of those cause there were things I would suggest and explain --like not going 15+ over the speed limit in our work vehicles because they'd have to pay that fine and then also lose driving privileges like for the rest of their career with our agency and they got very defensive(eventhough I acknowledge that I also can often speed in our work vehicles and definitely in my personal since I have a lead foot and am a confident driver here but also that is me knowing the risks and also being a lot better now about using cruisecontrol in our work vehicles) BUT either that same week or on the next, a different coworker of ours that this person openly admires and looks up to (I'll admit this person comes off waaaay sweeter/nicer than me often so I'll take that L) will say the same thing and they take their words in stride and simply agree then slow down. Though in a whole other week or so later they were driving by themselves to a field location and passed our supervisor's personal car on the road there going 70 in a 55 and were reprimanded for it, but no privileges or anything taken, just like Yo you can't keep doing this and need to take this more seriously and be aware that if it's observed again then actions would be taken.

But ugh this seemed like it would be shorter in my head. And honestly possibly just need to vent to ppl outside the situation. But yeah, I understand them remaining closed off cause they may still feel not understood. And it's not like any of these things keep us from inviting them to after work hangouts and group events, we're very aware of making sure not to exclude them from things just cause of the potentially "awkward" situations and such--I just hate that I get so easily frustrated and can snap at them about then unrelated things and also feeling like I need to try and help "remedy" the "awkward" situations

so yeah. just feeling like a shitty person tbh and don't need/want reassurance that I'm not or whatever. just would appreciate people weighing in if they have similar behaviors and how they would like to be addressed or not addressed about them by a coworker. I'm trying to work on curbing and shutting down my abelist conditioning/thought processes on how things "should be to be normal" if that makes sense.

[baizhuo]

alright, because i think this really DID NOT need to be publicized at all because it was a personal and PRIVATE qualm and issue, i'm gonna be 100% real and honest with y'all.

the user @/wiindscng is a controlling little bitch ( sorry ) individual that wants me to stop using the penname 'ghost' because i 'took' it from an ex mutual of mine and they dont wanna 'come back' because im using it.

as i have explained before: yes i had an ex friend named ghost. and it was unfortunate that we arent friends, and out of decency i didn't use the name but after a while i decided that... fuck it. NOBODY controls a fucking penname and alias. I have WANTED to use the name for a really long time because, as i have said..... i tend to GHOST people. ( albeit unintentionally and i always come back but it happens )

also, i will say that i do, in fact HAVE PROOF of this conversation because despite her not listening to me about how i dont like phone calls, she wanted a phone call. Because i am aware of her manipulative and victimising behaviour i HAD to fucking record it because i knew she was going to twist something. I didn't do it out of malice, i was just done and tired of her fucking bullshit. I also had Finn ( aka @legendsung ) listen in on the conversation because of how batshit crazy her requests would most likely be.

I WILL be transcribing that ENTIRE phone call from start to finish just to PROVE AND SHOW EXACTLY what went on and to show how her asking for something that neither I nor her can control is absolutely UNREASONABLE.

im sorry but im kind of over her petty bullshit as well. yes, this IS drama. i am saying that right now, im being wholly honest with you guys. but im also done with her disrespecting me.

to whomever the anons are, please stop sending me stuff, please stop hovering her blog. I have told her that i cannot control who goes on her blog and who tells me shit, but she also believes that im stalking and harrassing her. im not. but i've also stopped caring to keep this private.

she wants to air out our dirty laundry, then fine, absolutely FINE. but i will also say this, im over her treating me like shit and her being an ACEPHOBIC and ABELIST piece of shit.

She also apparently thinks that its not okay????? for me to hyperfocus and talk to only specific people and that i HAVE to validate her. ( well had to at this point. )

i have so much more to say about this, but tbh, again, this is all drama. i'm over it, this is just me airing everything out.

feel free to read THIS explanation if you want to understand some of the depth and breadth of what is going on. Fair warning this is VERY long and only SCRAPES the tip of the iceberg.

if you wanna keep in touch with me, feel free to ask for the discord, otherwise, if you can find my other blogs, then cool. have at it. if you dont you want anything to do with me, thats fine too.

[mandasfandoms]

Gonna whack the hornets nest here but this is a serious pet peeve of mine.

The sub vs dub debate is stupid and pointless. Anyone who thinks their preference is objectively better is immature and needs to grow up. Let people enjoy their entertainment in whatever way suits them better and stop worrying so much about whether or not someone else enjoys things in whatever way you consider to be the “proper” way.

[yb-cringe]

Wah ty... Joey pulling out the lanterns during his fight with Shadow Girl this episode was such a rough moment... As much as she probably shouldn't have helped Scott and Sausage grief his area, him pulling out the lanterns she had just returned to him in order to chase her off was extremely cruel considering that he was there for the task force. I think a lot of disabled and mentally ill folks empathize with the fear that they'll screw up and suddenly those close to them will turn the things they can't help against them and seeing Joey weaponize her sensitivity to light because he was upset with her was! Bad! I think there is a lot of tragedy in their friendship that was beyond their control with Joey going from Shulk to the Fairy Prince, but it doesn't lessen how horrible it must have been for Shadow Girl to see the one person she trusted suddenly start to demand she change and wield her struggles against her. As much as I hope she has a happier life as her new origin, I also hope she's not over the ways that everyone, from Scott and Sausage, to the Task Force, to Joey, wronged her as Shadow Girl. She deserves to demand that they make it right and she deserves to find a group of folks that will care for her unconditionally, even when her needs don't align with theirs. I'm... honestly not thrilled about the idea of her only getting to find happiness after death and rebirth without being a Shadow Crawler anymore bc I've seen that story before and it is often very ableist, but with the nature of the server and with hopes for cc!shubble's writing, I am cautiously hoping that the respawn won't be the end of things... All this to say i hope Shelby is still angry and doesn't forget and maybe next time someone gets the shadow crawler origin, she'll be able to make sure they don't have to feel as miserable as she did. She literally deserves the entire world and also has a right to kill whoever she wants This also isn't meant to be like. anti-Joey as either a content creator or a character, I think he is fantastic both in and out of character!!! It's just my thoughts on the story as a whole and that particular moment

yeah! well, ok i have thoughts:

- i said the whole ‘shubble stumbling onto a mental illness/disability vibe’ as a very LOOSE thing. i mean, its definitely something ppl can relate to and vibe with as a feeling but we should also probably step back and realize that its. Not the purpose of the story cc!shubble is telling. like thats a cool connection to make, but cc!shubble Not living up to that expectation isn’t bad or ‘feeding’ into abelist narratives. At that point, you’d be putting the expectation that because WE see a story this way, that the creator needs to adjust their narrative thusly.

which, yeah, isnt great. she didnt make it as a neurodivergent/mi/disability story, she stumbled onto the right path by accident. its minecraft roleplay and it makes sense that she’s vibin with that story and can take it wherever she’d like. Your frustrations with an abelist narrative stem from people who KNOWINGLY make mentally ill/disabled characters and then kill them off/cure them/etc and spread the idea that ppl cant live happily with themselves. Which is definitely an issue- however. you’re uh. not gonna find the answer for it in a mcrp.

thats not to say i dont sympathize! id also love for like. single crumb of good representation in media and also. yeah i think it was intentional for the other characters to treat her Badly to set her up for a sort of comeback so— we’re all definitely empathizing with her as a character. who knows where the story is gonna go tho, im kinda hoping for an unholy trio reunion tbh.

tl;dr— c!Shubble has a relatable narrative and connections, however she (cc!shubble) IS NOT making a story with the intention to represent these themes and expecting her to withhold to standards that dont Apply here will only lead to disappointment.

anyway yes uh. got off track there but. Yeah! these past few episodes have been Brutal w the betrayals and shit. totally get why c!joey was pissed hoWEVER…. i would kill for shadow girl…. beloved…

and Wow these past few episodes have been heartwrenching. definitely FELT that as someone whos Needed accommodations in the past only to be made fun of for needing them— oof.

[richmond-rex]

Honestly, idk why people focus so much on Edward as the 'strong hot young warrior king™' when the most interesting thing about him is how the inexperienced young king became a successful ruler, his policy making, the way he attempted to cement his dynasty in terms of the 'iconography' of English monarchy. The warrior king image is just boring tbh, and not really an accurate representation of him imo.

As for Richard, he is more interesting to be because of his personality (as much as we can glean), the coup and the murder of the princes; I laugh when people treat him like this innovative ruler who was centuries ahead of his time. Like, sure, he was a competent administrator and a successful duke, and it would have been fascinating to see how the policies he inaugurated would have turned out had he reigned longer. But he reigned for such a short time, unintentionally destroyed his own house - dear God, John was technically a better king than him. Basically all he has going for him in terms of fascination is being a schemer, and white washing him into a Byronic hero just makes him totally boring. Plus I'm always really uncomfortable with Ricardians pushing the 'young hot ruler' narrative, because whilst he died at an objectively young age and probably wasn't unattractive, they're almost always doing it to distract from his scoliosis, which is a) super abelist b) how he must have felt about his scoliosis at a time when disability was thought of a sin, how he dealt with it and became such a formidable warrior despite chronic pain - is the most interesting speculation to be had about him.

Can't stand how Yorkist fans treat George, Elizabeth Woodville, Warwick (the most interesting figure of the wotr, imo) and his daughters - and they are the ones in the Yorkist camp! The way they write about the Lancastrians, especially the women, is revolting - I'm a classicist and the way they treat Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort respectively is very similar to how Fulvia and Livia are portrayed, I guess misogyny is just endemic in history huh. Plus, how are there so many stories about Anne Neville mooning over Richard at a time when she would at most have felt friendship and maybe a childhood crush for him, and none on Margaret of Anjou, you know, being overjoyed to be reunited with the husband she hadn't seen in literal years. I feel like the HVI-MoA love story is do under explored because God forbid a non conforming woman and a disabled man love eachother I guess. (The way Yorkists/Ricardians Talk about HVI's disability is just disgustingly abelist tbh)

Idk how people can be so unobjective when studying history? Like, obviously people will have specific figures they find fascinating, but you can't study a period by treating it like a fandom.

Anyways, here's to Ricardians making me feel ashamed of being interested in Richard-the-Bitchard. Sorry for ranting in your inbox, it's only because I love your blog and you always have the best responses. Have a nice night xx

Adding the last message to this ask because I think it's the same anon who sent it. Truly, what else can I add to this message, I agree with so many of these points. I think that instead of highlighting Edward IV's awesome hotness over and over again it would be interesting to point out how incredibly traumatic his coming-of-age was. He was a teenager thrust into a civil war who was forced to carry the banner his father had raised and bear the heavy weight of his father's legacy in that process. He was barely on the threshold of taking command of his own earldom of March because he was still a minor at the time. He lost the brother who had grown up alongside him (Edmund of Rutland) and was forced to avenge his father in bloody battles where he had to command people to kill and die. He was barely allowed to be a young man before a crown was presented as a duty and avenging avenue for him. And that violent coming of age and sudden loss of carefree youth might inform so much of his kingship and personality. Truly, the discussions we could have about it all!

I think I've said my thoughts about Richard III before. I agree about his ambition being one of the most interesting things about him. I disagree about him being a good administrator—he made many crucial mistakes but I won't be talking about them here. There's this idea that he invented bail (he didn't), freedom of speech (William Collynbourne would like to have a word), and some other equally ludicrous claims. There was some degree of reformation laws that were passed during his reign but as Pollard (who has studied parliament in 15th century England) pointed out any laws debated in parliament were the result of decades of long discussions, and hardly the will of a single reigning monarch. I agree that Richard III's disability—when people are even conceding to call it that—should be discussed more instead of erased or summed up as: 'he could walk just fine without a limp'. I wish people would talk more about the debilitating aspects of mental illness when discussing Henry VI too.

The rest of the members of the house of York truly get the short end of the stick. It's incredible how much antagonism I've seen directed not only at George of Clarence and Richard Neville (incorrigible traitors in their eyes... as if the Duke of York had not been a traitor himself, the irony is lost on them apparently) but also, somehow, Anne Neville! Some people seem to think she simply wasn't good enough for her husband, be it either because she 'died on him' or simply because she didn't give him more children. Misogyny for the win! If someone made Richard III look bad, just like Elizabeth Woodville did, then they're little better than the scum of the earth. Misogyny truly is endemic to all areas of study (and society) unfortunately so it's not surprising to find it when discussing history but all the same, it's disappointing. Thank you for providing that parallel with Fulvia and Livia, I will look more into it.

I don't think the problem is exactly the fandom approach to history—I mean, I think I understand what you mean, the partisan approach to history is counterproductive and creates abominable takes like the ones we've been discussing, though fandom, as a community for the creation of works of art, discussion, and general sharing of knowledge and love can be a powerful force for studying history. The problem is that some people still don't understand it's possible to have favourite subjects without pissing on everyone else's. Also, I would like people to discuss history from an enlightened 21st-century point of view and not as if they still believed in the divine right of kings or if they were medieval Englishmen talking traditionally nasty things about the Scots, the Welsh and the French because xenophobia is cool and acceptable to them.

Please, don't take anything I've said on this blog as a reason for you to be ashamed of being interested in Richard III. I don't think it makes anyone an inherently bad person to like him, and a single interest doesn't define anyone as a person. How people act towards that interest, though, that's what it's important. Unfortunately, I've had too many people come to yell at me about Henry VII's horribleness and Richard III's 'true kingliness' not to be a bit wary, though.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts again! And for letting me know you appreciate this blog (and my answers)! 🌹x

[officialjamesflint]

Yes I’d love to hear the elaborate thoughts, I’m very very intrigued! When I read your tags it totally made sense to me, so I just wanted to know more in case you felt like writing it up

Oh my dear anon, you have done me a grand service (given me a reason to infodump about my special perfect boys). I actually already have a 600 word document of unhinged nonsense on this very topic (in preparation for an actual scholarly discussion of my thoughts which i will write at some point in the future, probably after i finish finals hehe) so let me summarize my Thoughts!

I do have some specific text-supported reasons for headcanoning both james and thomas as autistic. Some specific things are: James' emotional dysregulation (those of you who were here for my guardian hyperfixation may recall my extended essay on my deep personal feelings on portrayals of emotional dysregulation in TV), Thomas' Hand Talking (lil mr stimmy i see you), the fact that both of them are Stubborn Bitches in SUCH an autistic way, which of course also brings in both of their commitment to their personal ideals to a fault, the list could go on forEver.

In addition to that, I think that reading their narrative through a disability lens gives it some extra depth and meaning. I connect SO much to the experience of having people who support your ideas up until you whip out the really radical wild and crazy suggestions (Let's Pardon The Pirates Because It's The Morally Right Thing To Do), which is an experience that is deeply tied to my own existence as a disabled person in academia. Obviously that happens to all marginalized people, but for me it's so deeply tied to the fact that lots of people can't get it into their brains that Some People Experience The World Differently And We Should Respect That and therefore reject "radical" suggestions for disability change because they can't fit that into their own worldview (this is a whole nother extended post...).

This is (to me) also really similar to that wonderful disabled experience of people being okay with disability until it gets Weird. Thinking here of some stims being cute and fun (aww flappy hands!) and some stims being Weird ("why the fuck are you chewing on that you're an adult!"), and also other related autistic traits (it's funny when i take you completely literally but when i have a meltdown over what you perceive as being a very small thing then I'm being immature). Again, this is less a textual thing and more this is similar to my experience, and if you read Thomas (and James!) as autistic then that puts this similar experience into a perspective of this being a pattern of rejection for being Too Weird Too Radical Not Fitting Into Our Norms.

Also getting into the James-specific things, the Hennessy plot twist where he betrays James to bitch boy Alfred rings really true to me as an ADHD/autistic queer person. I think many of us have had the experience of a mentor figure revealing that they hold beliefs that are harmful towards you as a person (the many profs I've had who have Deeply abelist ideas about how teaching should work and how teachers should present...) Of course, me experiencing (fairly traumatic, tbh) abelism in my field is significantly different from Your Entire Life Falls Apart Because Your Mentor Thinks That Your Relationship With A Man Is Disgusting, but the parallels are still there. There's also a certain amount of being surprised by a social line that you (or James) the autistic person wasn't aware of. Hennessy is going to be on board with James and Thomas' plan because he's been supportive of other things, right?? He's our ally......right?

Continuing this theme, the whole underlying narrative in the flashbacks about James' temper and how Hennessey doesn't know what he's going to do with it reminds me very much of how so many neurotypical people I know have this assumption that there are certain behaviors that everyone can control and everyone knows aren't Allowed. When I look at that through my own ADHD/autistic experience I see soo many connections to people getting frustrated with me for not being able to express my emotions in the Right Ways. I'm an adult, shouldn't I be able to not call out at the wrong time class/have a meltdown/yell/etc?? See above re: I Am So Obsessed With Characters Who Display Emotional Disregulation Characteristics.

In conclusion: I think that there are some really really delicious things to get into if you read their narrative through a Disability Lens! And that's not even getting into the intersectionality between queer and disabled marginalization. Being forced into a specific role by society and then being punished for breaking our of that mold, anyone? Anyhow thank you for coming to my TED talk I am always happy to yell about this topic due to having Gets Excited About Interests And Talks For 5 Hours Disorder <3

[hatingfictionalcharactersisfun]

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Note: I am not a big Alyssa Chang stan but stop sending hate to her beautiful actress Olivia! Let the beauty breath y'all. You can dislike a character but respect the actor/actress.

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𝘖𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘔𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨 & 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘚𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘻𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘯: 𝘈 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘙𝘈𝘕𝘛

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You can all blame Alyssa for 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤~Josie, right? Its not as if Alyssa rightfully wanted revenge for Alaric desiring to wrongfully erase Alyssa's memories without her consent, leave her to be 13/14 forever, with a sociopath & 3 supernatural species in a death game in which started since Alaric has sent students, children away into a prison world long before Alyssa because they were in there for 10 WHOLE FUCKING YEARS? Right? But when Josie dabbles into dark magic, harms Lizzie, harms Ethan, & an innocent girl who liked Landon & all around encouraged abelist & bully behavior with Lizzie, we were all superrrrr silent. This whole fandom just playing quiet game huh? We're hiding so well from the cat that happens to be accountability for Josie's actions huh? Her going dark, attempting The Merge with Lizzie, TVD super snapping Alyssa's neck, yeah oh & her attempted genocide on an entire school of teens, preteens, & children? Tehe just ✨💕𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝔃💕✨Everyone including Lizzie who's grown & matured as a character reverts in bullies & shits on Alyssa for what...Insulting & pushing a girl who killed her & ALMOST HER WHOLE SCHOOL into a small puddle of mud? Really? Alyssa got her trauma & pain slam dunked into her face by Lizzie who I love, but cmon girl! Lizzie is much better than this & she should be held accountable for that. I really expected better from her especially, since what she did to Alyssa is what Penelope the Stalker pulled on her in 1x05 in the gym. Alyssa deserves to be more than some one dimensional minor antagonist to push the whole "Josie is an innocent martyr!" Narrative. She deserves her story, her depth, & her justice along with her accountability for sending the Saltzmans to the Prison World. But tbh just for the twins. Mainly Lizzie. Josie & Alaric can stay there lmfao. I'd celebrate. Julie Plague better not shit on our poor Lizzie's development & while I don't like Alyssa I feel really bad. Give this girl & her actress some justice!

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As a reward for surviving this post, have our gorgeous Olivia!

& let's give some love to our Jenny Boyd!

A bonus prize: Kaylee Bryant! (Who revealed that everything dark~josie did was rooted in something Josie wanted to do so... 😬 can we just agree Josie is shit & Kaylee is a bae? Kaylee being my freakin baby is the only reason I haven't lost my mind yet)

LOOK AT HER.

[lunarmothsystem]

What is your opinion on the movie Split, if you have seen it, with regards to how it depicts DID? Because like I feel like someone with DID would be offended but at the same time don’t KNOW whether they actually would be? Like when I see anti-asexual or anti-Irish sentiment and think “Hmm. Well that is certainly offensive from an objective viewpoint, but am I personally offended?” I do feel like if the twist behind the ‘Beast’ alter being superhuman was that he had been bitten by a werewolf, because there were so many hints towards him being a werewolf and the whole backstory they gave the protagonist about being a hunter, I feel like it would have suited the story better and avoided the ‘all people with DID are evil’ trope. Am I saying this right?

Hi anon! This is a pretty good ask tbh and I appreciate you bringing it up! This is long and I apologize.

So personally we really hate Split the movie. There's a lot of things wrong with it and the way it demonizes DID systems is awful. Especially since they claim that the truth behind the system in the movie was that it was based off a real life system named Billy Milligan. There's documentaries on him and books and if you're interested you can research but know that most systems are NOT like that.

Now if you don't know much about Billy Milligan don't worry! There's a lot there but basically he used the fact he was a system as a way to get out of prison after doing terribly horrible and triggering acts. He ended up not going to prison but was hospitalized later.

He took no system responsibility and actually recently passed away (I believe he passed in 2014)

The issue about all of it was the way they portrayed systems in the movie. The fact out of everything they could have made this villain have they gave him DID for the shock value and the horror aspect. (lets not forget that most horror movies now kind of come from an abelistic lense. Like abandoned wheelchairs being used as horror aspects when they're normal mobility aids)

The other thing the main reason it sets us off is well two things

1) the therapist called the disorder by name making it something people would associate to a real life issue and thus out of fear further demonize the disorder. (which I understand wasn't the directors case BUT it was still harmful)

2) the way they showed alters. Even our worst persecutors (I say this with love) would NEVER harm or kidnap people. We were a product of severe abuse and while we may lash out because of it we would never hurt or kill someone.

Now the thing with systems is that if werewolves existed turning into a werewolf would be an everyone thing. The body would turn into a werewolf not the actual alter. Sure we have werewolf alters but when they front the body doesn't become a werewolf if that makes sense? so it wouldn't matter who was fronting when the bite happens or during the full moon whoever was fronting would be a werewolf.

Anything made by singlets about DID is going to be at least slightly offensive unless they have a ton of systems reading and editing things and those singlets actually put correct information into their writings.

Like even comedies like United States of Tara got it SUPER WRONG. Like the whole killing her persecutor in the end????

But anyway Split is bad and the biggest negative that ever happened because of that movie was- if you ask any system they'll have at least one account of

"Oh...so like split? Do you have an evil alter? Am I safe if you switch?" when coming out to someone you felt safe with as a system and it's so discouraging.

Best thing about DID in any form of creative media honestly is if systems wrote books or movies about their experiences. There's a lot of amazing artists, writers, directors who have DID it's just making these systems feel safe enough to create something from their experience without fear of repercussions.

The end- the whole conclusion is: We need less horror movies around DID and more other things like Slice of Life, Comedy, Drama that normalizes DID instead of making it a fear tactic/circus show. Something that is accurate to the disorder and not just a bunch of misinformation and fear mongering.

Sorry we rambled oooaaaa.

[cripplecharacters]

Is it abelist (or just bad juju in general) to have an autistic or schizophrenic or otherwise neuro-divergent character interact with magic in a way others can't or have magic be a cause behind them not being neurotypical?I don't really have any characters that would fit this trope and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it (as a neuro-divergent person) myself and would love another opinion! Thanks!

I would consider it ableist, yes. As someone with schizophrenia, there’s nothing “magical” about my disorder. My brain just works differently and has created different coping mechanisms than the average person. To mystify a disorder like that -or any disorder, tbh-  implies that people with schizophrenia are somehow less human and they’re something superhuman. It treats schizophrenia as something to be wanted or desired because it gives you access to these magical powers or the ability to be stronger at magic because they’re “different”. It makes mental disorders seem like a desirable trait and creates a stigma that we have access to other-worldly things and that our disorder is something other than a scientific imbalance.

I know that it may seem like a good thing to give schizophrenic or autistic people escapism or acceptance of having “cool” powers, but at the end of the day, it treats us as if we’re different and people with mental disorders or conditions don’t want to be separated from neurotypical people like that. We’re the same as anyone else and we want to be treated like that and in magical systems you’re creating, we should be treated the same by the magic as everyone else.

Obviously, other schizophrenic or neurodivergent people may disagree with me and have other opinions, and they may like the ability of reclaiming their disorder as something that could give them power. But even with this reclaiming for some people, writing it in a story that’s going to be for the general public, not just for neurodivergent people, you’re going to make implications about neurodivergent people that negatively stereotype the community as a whole.

- Mod Roman (previously mod Becca)

[hopeshoodie]

Tbh I sometimes get annoyed with "it's okay to hate characters just be respectful" because Maaaany times people only "hate just because, it's a feeling you know" black characters. And like I understand getting annoyed by Hope, specially if yuu picked Noah first and everything, but it's also important for people to ask themselves if they hate when a white character does the exact same stuff (I think you said this but I wasn't 100% sure but if you did I love you(no Romo))

Absolutely. Absolutely. This is so well said. I always raise my eyebrows when someone says they hate Hope or Chelsea or Erikah (I even saw someone saying they hated Viv and like???? there’s literally nothing objectionable about her character because she barely has one???)

I can’t help but see a parallel to the TERF rhetoric of ‘you can’t force people to be attracted to trans people!’. Because yeah, no one is saying that you need to be sexually attracted to a specific thing. We’re saying that you should examine why you think you could never be attracted to a trans person, because that impulse is based in transphobia. In the same way, no one’s saying you have to like Hope or Chelsea. But if your knee jerk reaction is to hate them or find them annoying, you should think about if that’s just your racist or abelist impulse. 

tl;dr you’re not a bad person for disliking certain characters, but everyone’s perspectives are shaped by prejudice and people need to check themselves before making comments. If you’re saying Hope is ugly, that’s racist. If you’re saying Chelsea’s annoying, that’s pretty abelist. It matters because there are people in the fandom who are POC or neurodivergent, and your comments about a fictional character very much impact real people. 

[cowboylikedean]

why do you hate selfie nights?

because they don’t actually do anything to combat bigotry like at all and everyone then polices what people who are not even participating can and cannot post. 

like i didn’t agree to not post a selfie yesterday... i don’t pay attention to when the selfie nights are so if i had HAPPENED to take a nice selfie last night and decided to post it on tumblr, I’d have been attacked from every which way for “not letting POC have their time” even though i do not participate and do not even pay attention to these selfie nights.

Anyone who self reblogged when taylor was online who didn’t do  so for the purposes of self night is being attacked, even still. on their blogs and through hundreds of self righteous “i would never do that!!! “ posts

The people who created and organized the selfie nights cannot stop congratulating themselves for it. and the whole thing feels like an ego trip...

They are also the people who lead the crusades against people who are minding their own business and blogging without regard to their selfie night.

Basically, this very small group of people (or lets call them two people) organized this thing and then demanded that EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.  in the fandom participate because they are the “”””””best people in the fandom””””””” and the rest of us are racist, homophobic, abelist assholes if we do not recognize their authority. That’s abusive and I’m just not down for it.

Furthermore, again, they don’t do anything!!! The people with tons of followers who are conventionally attractive get tons of notes and people with less followers who aren’t conventionally attractive get less and tbh... when I did participate in LGBT and disabled selfie nights, I felt worse about myself than before because it was like the whole fandom called me an ugly fat cow by not reblogging me.

And another thing thing I hate about selfie nights... I’m going to post this and get attacked for it. Because any time someone says something negative or critical about selfie nights, their character is called into question and they are accused of bigotry, their complaints erased and ignored. 

[akutahaha]

I do not have what you were asking so take this with a grain of salt but YES you are allowed to feel uncomfortable with that. You are allowed to feel uncomfortable by someone calling your mental illnesses scary or dangerous. Its abelist and you have every right to take a step back from said person because tbh it dosnt sound like they've done much research if there gonna openly say things like that to your face well knowing you have the said issues

aaaaaa ty!! ur fine btw ;; i just wanted some kind of reassurance because my brain has a habit of second guessing everything and believing i'm just being dumb about things.

i thought maybe i was just being rude or overreacting for feeling that way and feeling very uncomfortable for having to comfort them about it cuz like... i wanna be a good friend but also? i don't wanna invalidate how they feel?? and have them feel worse cuz then it's my fault? kinda thing.

[salt-sass-and-lyrium]

TBH I am willing to help whoever I can whenever I can but if you try and ask for help with that guilt tripping “you’re a horrible person/sexist/abelist/homophobic if you don’t donate/like/reblog” bullshit I will roll my eyes and keep on moving. Maybe this makes me an asshole, I dunno and I don’t care.

I will help people when I can, but if you try and make people feel like shit in order to get help, or like they’re obligated to help you (they’re not) then I’m going to keep scrolling.