#fic are not personal attacks against me specifically lol

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Insecurity is a hell of a drug

[jeffblimchat]

I'm reading a lot of things about Hidge's sexuality canon wise. So taking account on what Nick and Matt Lang said (as much as I remember it without rewatching the video proof lol) my argument on why the canon sexuality of Prof. Henry Hidgens is that he is bisexual and Objectumsexual.

Well I think canon wise he is not polyamorous. I can accept that (i have no problem with him being poly canon wise. I am not anti-poly, just faithful with canon) but I remember Nick Lang or even Matt did not specify it. They said, within along the lines/paraphrasing: Henry loves his six boy friends, they are special to him, but Chad IS the apple of his eye. The last sentence they meant romantically.

So why bisexual and not gay? To make it clear, I have no problem with him being gay. I'm willing to be corrected. But since I'm arguing that he's bisexual, well let me start. Of course we haven't seen Hidge talk about or falling in love with specific women characters in the saga so far, however he did say in TGWDLM " Alexa, I love you like every woman flesh and bone", so there ya go. If he can find a woman that is subordinate to him like Alexa and Siri, then he can have a relationship with a woman. Come to think of it, i think he loves Chad the most because I hypothesize Chad always goes along with his plans/ideas. Yes I believe if I were to analyze his relationship personality, he wants to be the dominant in the relationship. He's very controlling and spirals when he doesn't get his way. Which why this is a good segway to...

And with the mention of two famous AI virtual assistants, I think it's enough to say that Hidge has objectophilia. More so in NMT episode Time Bastard where he shared his sexual rendezvous with either one of them to Ted and implied how he did it (some imagination and a little elbow grease or any lube lol). Not to mention that he talks to Alexa and Siri like they're humans. Fun fact, I read somewhere that people who have this sexual orientation cant handle keeping a relationship with another human because they're too controlling hence having a relationship with an object is easier because it has no thoughts, no opinions to consider. Also, this can also be a result of a trauma. Him losing his friends, especially Chad, during a lightning strike attack did not just lead him to isolation and practicing survival instincts, but also drove him to loving objects instead cause at least they won't experience terrible human deaths. Here is the source: https://www.hindustantimes.com/sex-and-relationships/decoding-objectophilia-5-reasons-why-people-fall-in-love-with-objects/story-LMvWWzhs257dD47yxNGC9H.html UPDATE: these facts are more connected to the character that is Prof Henry Hidgens whose personality reflects the generalizing views of the orientation better. Real life Objectums are a lot more complicated than that and can act against stereotypes/generalization. Thanks @fork-bork for reminding me.

Also further explanation:  ur friends can be ur life partners (hence there are old people living with friends in their twilight years) and some people like calling their friends as boyfriends or girlfriends. Hidge is just comfortable with his sexuality and closeness with his friends that he can call his male friends as his boyfriends. I think that's just Jeff's word play and humor going on as he wrote the song. And according to the song "it takes balls": Steve was a priest, Leighton was in a relationship with a person named Gary, and Greg was seeing/dating Steve's mom. Plus all of the boys, sans Chad and Henry, were attracted to females while at college based on their locker room talk acted by the Workin Girls cast.

I'm not like Unhidge Hidge, so tell me about ur thoughts/opinions/rebuttals as long as ur taking account of what I wrote here. Especially proof from the Langs with ur rebuttal. Of course in head canon or fan fic world, anything is free reins and you can experiment with Hidge's sexuality there. Just make sure to specify if it's canon or head canon so to avoid confusion and arguments.

Update:

I have the urge to check my HHP Working Boys screen recordings where Nick and Matt discussed Henry's relationship with the boys if it's poly or not. Update 2: Okay I watched it and Nick just says that Chad is his favorite so get out of that as you wish. But since the boys did their locker room talk about girls without Henry and Chad, I don't think the boys were making out with each other unless maybe just Henry and Chad if it's not unreciprocated from Henry's side.

I can understand if most fans think Henry is gay and not bi since Nick and Matt have not given more concrete proof of his attraction to human females. My only arguments with him being bi is that he loves and has done sexual acts with Alexa and Siri, AI virtual assistants with female names and voices. (NMT episode: Time Bastard).

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

Things I love ❤ or I hate 💔 in Powerpuff girls fanfics

Important, this is completely written with my personal preferences and individual taste, is not meant to attack anyone so remember: If you love what I hate is ok and if you hate what I love is ok too. Let's respect each other's individual preferences in fanfics and characters 🫂, also I admit some things that I might dislike are justified to happen depending of the gender of the story whether is dark, or just a bit serious but with comedy, slice of life... Or if the author simply wants to change some aspects of the characters and be creative, no one is obligated to indulge my preferences. (By the way this things could be something I have read so many times in lots of fanfics or it could be something I only read once, either way they're going to the list) :

Bubbles reaching a point she snaps and becomes hardcore and maybe a bit sadist. Love it, the trope of being the cutest🥰 character until you get crossed 🤬 is one of my favorites, all cuteness has its dark side😈. I love part of Bubbles point in fight is being dismissed by villains only to make them strongly regret it later.

Professor Utonium being an overprotective dad and intimidating to the RRB. Hate it, more like hating it is more like if you exaggerate with his overprotection is annoying 😑😑 and the situation where he is able to intimidate the RRB is just hilariously ridiculous and impossible to me🤪😬... Like if he can intimidate the boys what are the girls for in the first place why do they need them then? 🤷‍♀️ It doesn't make sense, also the Professor is a very sweet accepting person and also he has some sense of guilt towards Mojo Jojo who is the responsable of the RRBs, he would probably want to help them going to the right path rather than trying to antagonize them being an "intimidating" Dad.

Bubbles being a weak pushover who is constantly compared to her sisters and needs another character help to get stronger because otherwise she is useless. Hate it, as if she was less than her sisters, I just can't take it if she gets dismissed or bullied and she just accepts it and somebody else has to defend her 😤😤(not in all escenarios thought, I mean certain situations specifically). Bubbles is sensitive but she has a temper, she won't take bullying just like that, she can fight her two sisters at the same time and they never hesitate to call for her help if they are overpowered. There's a fanfic where they have to give up some classes to watch over the boys and Bubbles got the worst part having to give up something she loves, Blossom not bad intentioned but still thoughtless and insensitive says that because of her good grades and Buttercup being a sport star they give prestige to the school unlike her🤡🤡 and Bubbles just accepts this, she never speaks up against this or complains! 🤬🤬What she renounced to caused other students to bully her and she still doesn't stands up for herself, she doesn't even tell her sisters and someone else has to defend her WTF, excuse me?🤬🤬 Nope. Or other fic where she and Butch have a relationship and the whole premise is how useless she is in battle, being compared to Buttercup all the time and needing Butch to teach her how to fight... HELLO??? NOPE.🙅‍♀️

Butch's multiple nicknames for Buttercup. Love it, honestly Buttercup has the biggest amount of nicknames, mostly given by Butch : Butters, Butterfly (they could name their daughter that), Butt-Cup, Butterbitch, Butterbabe, Bitterbitch, Butterbutt... lol 🤣🤣🤣

Buttercup being the sister with the most experience in love. Love it, seriously I just love the irony and contrast of the puff that was the most grossed out about romance and kissing, the known toughest fighter being actually the first one having deep serious romantic feelings and relationships and being first experiencing heartbreak. 😭😭😭

The Blues always having the easiest love story or starting a general RRB-PPG story with them already in love. Hate it, seriously whether you chose to make Boomer a jerk or a super sweet guy you shouldn't make that easy a relationship, I mean where is the good juice? This two get lovey dovey two fast and easy like they can't have a decent funny banter like their siblings!? 😫Trust me they can and they should otherwise is too boring. I specially dislike it when at the beginning of the story they are already in love or even in a relationship, where is the juicy process?? 😐

The greens starting with violence a lot of banter only to become bros, (yes, Buttercup is a Bro) and besties and eventually falling in love and taking a long time to accept it. Love it, oh boy I LOVE it, the only time I like a slow burn is when the characters are like this, the greens are just so entertaining,👌👌 so aggressively in denial and it can get so deep a wholesome! My favorite is in that fanfic where he actually starts obsessingly lusting over Blossom in such exaggerated way that when he starts to fall for Buttercup it created a marvelous deep contrast between the shallow attraction and the hopeless deep feelings of love and is just so beautifully written (even though the reds are terrible and the blues are bland in that fic) , seriously you can feel hard the difference of how he sees the beauty of Buttercup in the simplest and most meaningful way full of feeling😭💗 compared to his constant obsessed shallow remarks towards Blossom's "hotness". It was just too good, I don't know if I ever going to read another fic with the Greens being that good again. 🥺💚💚

Bubbles being the one with the most emotional intelligence. Love it, is just the best when characters around her are used to her being slow thinking and having her head in the clouds to suddenly realize that she picks up instantly others people feelings and understands them perfectly. After all Blossom is the mind 🧠, Buttercup is the body 💪and Bubbles is the heart 🫀of the group.

Butch getting a kick out of fighting Buttercup. Love it, a classic Butch being a masochist per usual, never gets old. 👊😂😂

Boomer being a clumsy macho tsundere. Love it, I'm weak with tsundere characters and I think it fits him, he trying to act all macho but ending up being super clumsy making Bubbles think he is cute. 🥰

Buttercup being described as someone always dressed with chandals, hoodie and baggy clothes... Ect and specially making her wear that kind of clothes because she is ashamed of her femenine attributes. Hate it, because I don't see Buttercup as that kind of tomboy 😕, she would wear skirts or dresses as long as they suit her style (like of course she would hate a princess tutú duh! but denim skirts exist ok) and also I just can't picture her being ashamed of the femininity of her body,😤she is only shy about feelings or intimacy but if she has a worked out body with muscles to show, boobs or not she WILL show off to brag.

Buttercup being popular with girls while being straight. Love it, I like girls fangirling over a good tomboy but I also love that you don't fall in the stereotype of the tomboy having to be the lesbian, lesbians can be also femenine and girly ok?💅💄💋 I also like the jokes about her being a lesbian, because of course if she was actually one then it wouldn't be a joke. 😇😂

Blossom being: too correct, entitled, Mary Sue, cold, party pooper, too serious, too mean, too bossy controlling, too victimitist or sacrificed, too perfect... All this not as a puntual moment in the story but she being like this all the time. Hate it, but ok to be fair is true that Blossom has a lot of attributes that can make characters be obnoxious but I swear she also have other attributes that make up for it and create a good balance: yes she is self-centered, but still caring and supporting to others,😌 yes she is prideful but when her pride is hurt she pouts and that's cute🤭, yes she is bossy but she also knows she doesn't have full control on her sisters and she can be a cool girlboss😎, yes she can be serious...sometimes because mostly she is really silly and likes to have fun🙃🙂, yes she can be all about following the rules but we all know she always ends up breaking them when is convenient to her🤫, she can be selfish or mean but that is not her everyday, she studies a lot but likes comics and video games too... She is a good 3 dimensional character.

Also Blossom being humble and modest like for real not pretending to be. Hate it, she humble?😂 Ja, NOPE. Following my previous statement, she is a bit full of herself despite having insecurities but writers tend to make her modest because loving too much your appearance and brag about it it's seen as a bad thing but there are plenty of pleasant characters that brag a lot about their looks and are lovable like Stella from winx club or Rouge the bat. I like Blossom to be that character that once she notices her beauty gets good reactions she is going to own it and walk through the hall like in a catwalk with her chin up 💅😎(only to more likely crash into a closed door or something because she was so busy enjoying that she didn't pay attention). Trust me, most of the time the excessive modesty ends up being extremely annoying. Example, beach day scene I have read that made me roll my eyes hard: RRB, PPG and some of their school friends, here Blossom is uncharacteristically antisocial and prefers to hide away and read a book while covering herself as much as she can (because of course wearing a swimsuit being attractive is such an indecent thing to do 😑) Instead of playing with her sisters and friends, but at some point she decided to play volley and OMG she uncovered herself and showed her swimsuit!😱 Only to cover herself again fast...😐 Bricks legs wavered like he almost faint... The boys gasp Butch feigns a heart attack blah blah. This was just so meh🙄😬! I would have liked it more if she made a sexy stunt purposely to provoke Brick who is a big jerk here so she could gloat on his reaction without any shame about her body. In fact the opposite when Brick took off his shirt was better and funny, he did it to scape from his brothers who where dragging him and then a horny Buttercup destroyed it to shamelessly look at his abs 🤣🤣(that was a lot funnier than Butch reaction to Blossom) ,I guess is because Brick was only annoyed and grumpy but he wasn't ashamed or uncomfortable with the attractiveness of his body. I'm am being a sexist bitch? Nah, 🤷‍♀️a girl who is uncomfortable with being pretty(with her specific background) and is a teenager acting like a entitled prudish bitter adult lady at the same time😬 is just not my cup of tea... Not my Blossom, this Blossom gives hard slut-shaming vibes😒.... Ok ok I know I roasted her way too much, but I can't help it! Blossom is supposed to look up to miss Bellum and Wonder Woman and I totally think this one would disapprove them showing legs and Cleaveage 😫 DISHONOR that's something only the garbage Blossom from the Garbage 2016 bullshit reboot would do, don't make your fanfic Blossoms do the same!! 😭😭

The boys playing affectionately even as teens or adults. Love it, people don't give credit enough to this kind of scenes and they are so wholesome, I remember one fanfic that had a chapter where Boomer and Butch became dogs 🐶🐶and Boomer jumps on Brick and they start wrestling and the Butch jumps in too! 🥰And they were having fun I almost never get to read this kind of things because they usually write Brick like too cool, grumpy and wannabe a serious adult for this kind of thing.

Brick being a hot eye candy with so much bad boy aura and his brothers being jealous of that. Love it, ok when its about the girls I hate when there's only one super popular so I have to admit I'm being a bit sexist but i can't help it! the bros being dramatic because they don't get the same reaction as Brick from the fangirls is funny😆😆, they are handsome too 😍but Brick has the best brooding bad boy aura, like I can forget Brick being too much of a jerk if it gets me an emotional sibling conflict,👌👌that way I can dislike him but I can like his brothers development. Brotherly jealousy like this gives good boy drama.

Butch being kind of a pervert or a manwhore. Love it, specifically when is the kind of comical pervert that like in the animes gets bonked or smacked or punched in the face any time he tries to be flirty funny and says something gross. 🤣🤣🤣

Buttercup being a tsundere. Love it, just like with Boomer it fits her, we all now she is shy with sappy stuff, scared of having feelings, being defensive, blushing hard... I'm sure Bubbles thinks her sister is cute when she is like this 😍😍

Bubbles being innocently eager and Boomer being too awkward to handle it. Love it, you know that thing when a boy gets cocky and so sure of himself with a seemingly innocent pure girl and when he finally conquers her unexpectedly she gets forward and eager and suddenly the boy loses the confidence and gets awkward? Oh that's a good juice 😏 🧃

Making Brick doing everything Blossom does but better. Hate it, ok like I already said Blossom is so cultured and good at school because she works hard for it and likes studying😤, of course Brick would be as smart and cunning as her but making him out of the blue a genius that gets just as good or even better grades as her and also be so cultured too while being nonchalant about it is a huge NOPE for me🙄🙄, I accept something like Blossom roasting him because of his grades at school and he getting pissed starts to study to get better grades just to get back at her (making her be impressed, but pissed) 😂😂but I need to see the effort and the reason of motivation!😤 Because I don't see him liking studying and I won't take a genius that achieves that just because. The thing they could have in common I could believe are comics and playing guitar, let brick get turned on with her guitar skills please. 😆

Brick having a breakdown and crying. Love it, normally this guy is always the grumpiest or coldest or the most jerk jackass asshole in fanfics so when he actually has emotions and he displays them, and cries is just so satisfying... Love it. 🫶😃

Blossom being always the one sacrificing herself. Hate it, i see this way too often, writers tend to do it because she is the leader and because she is seen as the big sister (that's another one I hate, they popped to life at the same time there's no big or little sister😤) but I'd like to see the other sisters doing the sacrifice and see how it affects Blossom more often, give leader girl a break.

Blossom's sisters seemly being psychological unable to disobey her orders as if she was indisputable and if they disobey is seen as a terrible or stupid thing to do always. Hate it, sorry but that situation fits better with the RRB given Brick's intimidating nature, Blossom leads hers sisters and can get bossy but her sisters will never obey her if they don't agree with her,💪 they won't blindly do whatever she asks always and she doesn't have the right to forbid things to them, no like they will listen just because.😌 Remember the sisters aren't afraid to call her out, their relationship has a more love and trust nature, with the boys is ok because they probably think family love and trust is for sissies. 🤐

One of the girls being the most popular girl in school without a understandable justification. Hate it, in general I don't like when is only ONE of them because the three girls (aside being literal superheros) have enough traits to have their own individual fans but more importantly I need popularity to have a proper believable reason🧐. For example, PPGZ Bubbles isn't at all what I expected for an anime Bubbles but her popularity with boys at school was at least believable🤔, she was a lady like elegant girl, really kind and friendly with everyone, cheerful and that cares a lot about her appearance and that's exactly what you see in the show, for how simple the anime was you could see that she wasn't popular just because "cute". In contrast there is a fanfic Blossom is said to be top most popular girl in the school and the reasoning is: "she is so hot and has good legs"😬 because she dances (there's like an obsession about her legs) but then she has a really repellent insufferable entitled personality 🤬and is not really nice... I mean she is cold polite but not nice nice ☹️☹️(she is even cold and a bit thoughtless with her sisters in general) and apparently doesn't care too much about her appearance, mostly only worries about showing skin...🙄🙄 Someone like that is the most popular girl? I just don't believe that popularity statement. (By the way, I found weird that she was the only puff with good legs when the other sisters also do activities that can get you nice legs too, like being a cheerleader or playing every fucking school sport, so Buttercup's body is all cut and toned everywhere except her legs? Yeah I know I'm being a picky bitch🤐 about this but you get what I mean?)

Blossom being a funny drama queen. Love it, ohhh I love it,😆😆 she often overreacts over not big deals in the show, so seeing her being dramatic because she didn't get a A+ on every subject, or because she lost her favorite bow, or because she laughed so hard drinking a smoothie the drink came out of her nose🤣🤣 and then suddenly is the end of the world is just the best👌. I mean the other sisters are dramatic as well over silly things too but I think Blossom is funnier. But careful because depending of how is written it can backfire and she could become too victimist. 🙅‍♀️

Blossom and Bubbles being sassy bitches (the funny kind). Love it, usually is Buttercup the one who gets to give more comebacks and picks up a fight first and also play pranks but the other two usually have good behavior but then there's those precious moments when they are mischievous and get sassy and savage 😂😂 (remember in the show how Blossom messed with Brick in the boys are back in town? 🤣🤣 or there were moments where Bubbles innocently roasted Buttercup 😂?)

One of the RRB or the PPG overdoing the fight and getting all bloody and banged up and the other worried sick. Love it, oh boy I'm addicted to this kind of thing 👌👌 the bloodiest the better, I think the best one I read was one with the greens that ended with them sleeping together in a stretcher in the professor's lab😫😫😫😭 I'm dying! 💘

CPR situations. Love it or hate it depending of how is written, whether is drama or comedy.

Sick day plot. Love it, just like when they get injured, viruses and fevers are also welcome!😆👌 I prefer the boys getting sick over the girls because boys tend to act like soft big babies 🥺and crave attention and comfort🥰 (sometimes without noticing they are doing that and getting embarrassed later...), I'm so weak for this.

Beach or lake or swimming pool plot. Love it, classic anime episode that is always horny comedy. 😎👙

Bunny being alive. Not completely hate it but is just not my cup of tea, Bunny's existence is one of the few angst things I can take and I do love fics where she is mentioned or where she appears as a ghost or spirit... Those are tears I don't mind shed. 😢😢

Mayor character death. Ok, I'm not going to say I hate it... But most of the time I can't take it, like I become irrational and wish for a deux ex Machina🙃 so the dead character is resurrected... I once read two angst fics, in one brick slowly dies from a cancer and in the other buttercup is dead and butch is mourning her in a extremely mentally painful way for me...🥲🥲 I regret so much reading that, it completely destroyed me. Normally is only if is one of the RRB or the PPG that I can't endure it.🥲🥲😭😭

Sex. Love it or hate it depending completely on the writer skills on this matter. 😏

Princess Morebucks being obsessed with Brick. Hate it, like... I know she thought of them as cool and wanted to join forces but I think after how they treat her she must have a forever super grudge against them😬😬, and she probably looks down on men, being crazy about one of the dudes who belittled you and also get to have superpowers you want and don't have is not believable to me🙅‍♀️, I mean they hurt Princess pride and ego, she is not going to put that behind to pursue Brick, besides is a kind of plot drama that usually is only pointless and annoying soooo... Nope.

The girls being affectionate with each other. Love it, the warm wholesome sisterhood moments are beautiful let's see😫👌🥰, Bubbles sleeping in Blossoms lap, Buttercup accepting Bubbles affection after she did something for her, Blossom crying in Bubbles arms, Buttercup hugging Blossom from behind while she is having a breakdown and one of my favorites was the one that they are teens and sleep in separated beds but because Blossom had trouble sleeping Bubbles joined their beds and later Buttercup joins too! So beautiful! 😫😫👏👏👏

The Ruffs being friends with the Puffs that aren't their love interests. Love it, because they can have interesting relationships, honestly Brick and Bubbles is an underrated friendship, I'll love if she was able to terrify him to defend her sister and boyfriend 🤣🤣👌👌. Butch could ask Bubbles for love advice, Boomer could ask Blossom for help with Homework... Stuff like that 😁.

Girl... That's a lot of text between statements... I'm so sorry 😅😅 who knows if I'll think of more things and make a part two... 😅😅🙃

[niki-phoria]

heyy I just read your royalty au fic with sunghoon if you're willing to expand on that specific au/fic I'd like to request king!sunghoon being protective over reader, like maybe someone insulted them or reader got hurt/attacked. I'm a sucker for the protectiveness trope lol, anyways thank you & hope you're having a great day!

pairing: king!sunghoon x consort!gn!reader genre: kinda hurt comfort ?? word count: 886

a/n: thank you for requesting !! i really liked this idea, i hope you like it :))

warnings: mentions of sex, couldn’t think of a name so i went with ki hong also he’s supposed to be a knight

[part 01]

reblogs (with feedback) >>> likes

you shift awkwardly in your seat as you watch sunghoon dance around with a woman. his hands graze against her back with each step they take, their fingers intertwined. the song continues to drone on as sunghoon glances over her shoulder at you, giving you a small smile. you let it ease your jealousy as they continue, twirling around the room. 

“they’re cute together,” a woman whispers next to you. her friend hums, leaning closer to her. 

“i wonder when the king will settle down. it’s hard to run a kingdom alone.” 

“perhaps he just needs to find the right person.” 

“maybe it’s you,” you tense up as they laugh together. “you should ask him to a dance. he never declines.” 

the first woman nods, turning her attention back to sunghoon and the woman, still dancing together. “i will. after this dance.” 

you jump a little when someone places a hand on your shoulder. “sorry,” ki hong chuckles a little, moving his hand down to your back. his armor is cold against your skin as he leans down to whisper in your ear. “you look a little tense. why don’t we get out of here?” 

you glance back at sunghoon for a second before nodding, eager to feel some fresh air against your face. ki hong’s hand stays pressed against your lower back as he leads you outside. the night air is cooler than you expected. you shiver a little, rubbing your hands against the fabric of your shirt. ki hong glances over, hand still close ghosting against your lower back. “cold?” 

you step back a little, nodding. “i didn’t really have a jacket to bring,” you laugh. 

“you could always come back up to my room with me.” the innuendo to his words makes you shift uncomfortably. you wrap your arms further around yourself, taking another step back. 

“no, i think i’ll just head back inside. sunghoon should be done with the dances anyways-” 

you freeze when ki hong reaches out to grab your arm, pulling you back. “y/n,” he steps closer, slowly forcing you back against the wall. “come on, you’re seriously still with him? you could do so much better.” 

you swallow nervously. the concrete of the castle digs into your skin. “i love sunghoon. you know that.” 

“you’re his consort. you’re nothing to him. he keeps you around because you’re an easy fuck,” ki hong lets out a bitter laugh. you tense up as he leans a little closer. “he’s the king, y/n. he doesn’t even bring you to advisory meetings anymore. what were you expecting?” 

you bite your tongue, cursing yourself for being so sensitive. tears sting your eyes, threatening to fall, but you blink them away, forcing them back. a pit grows in your stomach. what if he’s right? 

“y/n,” ki hong’s voice drops back to a whisper. he softly smiles at you, almost sympathetic. his hand brushes against your cheek, wiping away a stray tear. “i can treat you better. you know i can.” 

you grit your teeth, pushing him away. “no. i love sunghoon.” 

ki hong’s face drops. he sighs, shaking his head as if he’s disappointed in you. “you were always so naive. he’s going to leave and you’ll end up alone.” he steps back, looking down at you. “again.” 

“ki hong,” sunghoon’s voice is a welcome distraction from the uncertainty running through your mind. his hands clench at his side as he walks closer. ki hong stammers a little before sunghoon interrupts. “i don’t want to see you around him again.” 

he nervously bows, mumbling a quick ‘yes, your majesty’ before he rushes off. sunghoon sighs, relaxing his shoulders. you push yourself off of the wall, almost jumping into his arms. he wraps his arms around your waist as you bury your face into his chest. fresh tears threaten to fall before you blink them away. “you’re okay,” he murmurs, hand rubbing your back. he presses a kiss to your forehead, coaxing your face away from his chest. “what did he say to you?” 

you take a shaky breath, looking down at your feet. “he said i don’t mean anything to you.” 

“oh, baby,” sunghoon pulls you back against his chest, wiping away the tears that run down your face. his grip around your waist tightens a little. “i love you. you mean everything to me.” you nod, wiping your face. sunghoon traces your jawline with his finger, lifting your face so you’re looking at him. “come on, let’s go to bed.” 

you ignore the questioning glances from the servants and guards you pass as you rush back through the castle to your room. sunghoon’s arm stays firmly wrapped around your waist. 

his hands are gentle as they carefully untie the knots on your clothing, hands gently running against your sides as he stips you. he’s quick to join you underneath the blankets, pulling you in closer so your head is resting on his chest. he rubs your back as you relax against him. he pulls your hand up to rest against his skin, over his heart. “do you feel that?” he whispers. “it beats for you. only for you.” you shift to press a kiss against his skin. 

“i love you, hoon. so, so much.” 

“i love you too. never forget that.”

[scribbyizback]

"Goodness, you are a force!"

-my culinary teacher, loudly, in front of the whole class during a study hall as I was drawing twinks.

MY FANFIC (read abt it at the bottom euhg):

♡BG INFO & DNI♡

she/her, bisexual aro(I'm on the spectrum but not too sure what yet), minor

the dni list for my safety and happiness:

THIS IS A 13+ BLOG, fat phobic, NSFW only blog, homophobic, pedo, TERF, ableist, pro/comship, racist, zoo

Sometimes I post/reblog isopods(I will tag these w 'isopod', 'isoposting' or 'tw bugs'/'tw bug mention'), space stuff, spider-man, metal/rock music stuff, and punk culture. If any of this bugs you please either block those tags, simply ignore them, or even unfollow me. I won't be bothered!

alt blog w spiderman content: @spider-plush

dca/au centered blog(much more organized): @timestillstands

if you find that I start making media that isn't what you like or joined for, or even I say smth that goes against ur morals, feel free to unfollow or stop interacting! no hard feelings, as long as you don't attack me for anything

☆ASKS☆

Send me asks !!! I love them !!! Js no NSFW, nothing that goes along the dni, nothing abt my personal life(btw that's like smth abt where I live, names, age, etc etc. if I want to talk abt that I will.), and no explicit injury(particularly dismemberment, but anyways, don't send me any sort of injury, I will block you)

Not too strict, should be common knowledge for my kinda blog, soo yea. Stay safe, hugs and loves <333

◇TAGGING◇

This has the same rules as the asks, tag me in anything you think I would like, it can be super random or super specific, I don't really care lol.

my rule on tagging me in controversial stuff is that I will choose whether or not I want to get involved.

•DMS•

unless ur a moot pls don't dm me and I also don't have notifs on for anything, so uh yuh

I'm not really an internet talker lol

I'M MAKING A FIC !!! :DD

Your roommate suggested it. Saw a sign asking for help. You needed a job, they needed techs. Problem settled. Right?

Well, yes. New problem: You did not sign up to be the personal daycare technician, which, mind you, was filled with children. You can't do children.

It doesn't seem like the Daycare Attendant likes you either. Which is a problem, because you like it better when the robotic coworkers aren't... Rude? Creepy? Passive aggressive? Not delightful

[xxsabitoxx]

xxSabitoxx’s FAQs

A lot of this is usually covered in my request guidelines post, but seeing that I’m currently not taking requests and no longer have a guideline post… it only seems right to make a post like this

I primarily write NSFW 18+ fics and headcanon posts. That doesn’t mean I can’t / won’t write angst or fluff, but people really seem to prefer my smut more than anything so it’s what I stick to.

Can you write a reader who is…

I do not write fics where Y/N’s race is specified

I do not write fics where Y/N’s weight is specified

I make sure that the Y/N in my fics are as blank as possible. I don’t describe their skin, their body shape, their hair or eye color, hell even their nipple color because that can imply a specific race. I want everyone to be able to enjoy these fics and not feel left out because of the way Y/N is depicted.

I am able to write fics where Y/N is Male [NSFW and SFW]

I am able to write SFW with a nonbinary Y/N

Can you write about a reader who…

I do not write fics or HCs about a reader with an ED

I do not write fics or HCs about a reader who SHs

I have nothing against these topics and fully understand that you may be looking for comfort through these stories but I kindly ask that you do not request me to write for them. We all have our triggers and our traumas and I am simply not comfortable with these topics for a variety of reasons.

Can you write about this kink…

I am comfortable writing for just about anything. However, I have my handful of absolutely NOT.

I will not write age play / age regression

I will not write daddy kinks [as a joke is different]

I will not write incest where there is blood relation [step siblings are a different story]

I will not write foot fetishes [sorry to that one anon]

I will not write anything relating to scat or vomit

I will not write large age gaps where one half of the ‘pair’ is underage

I’m okay with just about everything else outside of that list. If there is ever a time you are unsure, don’t hesitate to send me an ask!

What pairings do you write for?

For the most part it is only reader insert fics lol. I’m not against character x character fics but I tend to only post them on my Ao3.

Do you take requests?

For the time being, I do not. I kindly ask that you refrain from sending me any sort of fic or head canon requests. I’m fine with getting small “requests” like if I think sanemi is a boobs or ass guy for example

Anything that I can answer the ask with a paragraph or two is fine

Where is the next part of…

Doesn’t exist. Unless I say I’m working on it or you see a teaser posted somewhere on my blog. I will usually post when I’m working on a new part to a fic so just keep an eye out!

Who do you write for?

I have a list of shows I write for in my welcome post but I can break it down a little more

All demon slayer characters

Most Jujutsu Kaisen characters

Most Chainsaw Man characters

All Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure characters

Most My Hero Academia characters

All Attack On Titan characters

Just like the kinks, if you’re unsure just send me an ask.

Do you still write for…

I write for the shows I listed above, if I ever stop writing for any of them they’d be removed from the list.

I hyperfixate on things so you’ll see an influx of writing for particular shows when my interest in them is really high at that time.

I wrote for Demon Slayer and Demon Slayer alone for about 6-7 months on this blog before adding new shows to my writing collection. It just depends on what show I’m really feeling at the moment — for a while it was jujutsu kaisen and then it was Jojo’s and Chainsaw Man. Now we’re back on to MHA & KNY. It changes lol

Why aren’t your DMs open?

I am a very introverted person with a lot of social anxiety lol

When it comes to DMs the messages would often get buried and then people would take offense to me not responding so it’s just easier to keep them off

This also isn’t my first tumblr blog, I used to have one for a very different fandom years ago & that ended in a dumpster fire of death threats and bullying because two bigger blogs at the time started putting their followers against me for something I didn’t even do lol

So honestly I rather keep to myself and just stick to communicating through asks! I love receiving asks and talking with you all.

Why does it take you so long to write?

I have a usually busy life outside this blog. I’m a full time university student in a major that requires field experience and observations. I also have a minor I’m working on alongside my major. I work a part time job and am looking into interning…

Oh and I’ve got chronic iron deficiency anemia so I can barely function as it is. Especially in the periods where I’m waiting on infusions… like right now. I can’t be awake for more than a couple hours without needing to lay down and sleep again.

Plus I really can’t sit down for long periods of time and focus…and I’m always getting new ideas… did I mention I also have two energetic puppies who are always looking for attention?

So that’s why I can take me over a year to produce a sequel.

Why do you write for some characters more than others?

Head canon wise, I try to keep things equal in length for each character. Like my pillar head canons for example

Fic wise? I just have my preferences. Sometimes I enjoy writing a particular character and their personality more than others.

Why can’t we talk about ships/shipping?

I don’t need that negativity on this blog is the simple answer.

I used to be a die hard Kpop stan. I think that speaks volumes for some of you but for those who don’t get it… I’ll explain.

Shipping is toxic as fuck because some of you bitches take shit way to fucking seriously. They are fictional characters bro why are you sending each other death threats and doxxing one another cause you don’t support the same ship. It’s insanity.

I’m 17… can I still interact with you

Yes. There is really no difference mentally between someone who’s 17 and who’s 18. Like honestly you don’t start feeling like an adult until your mid-twenties. I’m gonna be 21 soon and I still feel like a child

The 18+ warning is essentially for those who are 16 and under.

Uncomfortable / Rude Asks

These are, in fact, different from hate asks. Typically they are the ones I receive most often in regards to uncalled for behavior. Idfk why my blog attracts the anons it does but it is what it is.

Depending on the audacity of the ask, I may or may not answer it.

Most of the time I’ll delete them after a while because it’s stupid to keep them up — but in the moment I need someone else to see it cause literally what the fuck.

Also friendly reminder. If you can’t see it, that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Appealing to ignorance… my philosophy professor would love to use y’all as a test example tbh

Hate comments / Hate Asks

Thankfully I’ve only received an itty bitty handful during my time on this blog… like not even double digits. They have been very few and very far between but essentially this is what happens:

Asks: The ask isn’t answered. I’ll block you, and since it’s likely you’d be on anon, your IP address is what ends up getting blocked opposed to your blog getting blocked.

Comments: your comment will be deleted and your blog will be blocked

If I see you in my comments fighting with another blog, you’ll be blocked as well from my page.

That’s it for now!

If anything else is to come to mind I’ll add it later!

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

fires of rage and coolness of death

A/N: area unknown smp has me by the throat, particularly the dynamic between scott and owen's characters. scowen my beloved. oh also the unnamed character isn't anyone specific bc there isn't really enough lore yet to pick someone who would have it out for owen lol. Edit: Quick psa- kindly refrain from commenting about boundaries. I have no intention of the cc's ever seeing this, nor do I want people pushing ships in their face. I wrote this for my own enjoyment, and for the enjoyment of anyone who is interested in this type of fic. If cc's happen to stumble across this on their own, fine. But seeing as this fic is properly tagged and I trust the cc's to navigate their own internet experience, I don't expect them to see this. If readers aren't comfortable with this fic, then don't read it. It is that simple. Additionally, I have been informed that au!Owen is aroace. However as an aroace person who is interested in romantic stuff myself, I am leaving this fic as is. Lack of attraction does not equal lack of interest in romantic (or otherwise) relationships!

Warnings: choking, blood, violence, murder, minor character death, minor injuries, sexual tension, fire

Summary: Someone hurts Owen. Scott doesn't let them get away with it.

AO3 Link

-

The person fought weakly against his grip. Scott didn't know who they were, didn't care, all he knew is that they hurt the one thing he cared about. They had pushed Owen around earlier, taking advantage of the ghost's kindness and naivety. There had been a scuffle, a cut on Owen's cheek- and Scott saw red.

He saw a different red now, beading around his claws from where they dug into the attacker's neck. They futilely clawed at his wrist, but all that earned them was a tighter grip around their throat and Scott raising them higher into the air, until they were just below his eye level. No one deserved to be at his level after all- least of all the scum squirming desperately for life in his hands.

"Scott?" a voice asked from his tower entrance. Scott glanced over, and saw Owen drift in through the crimson vine curtain. The ghost's wide-eyed expression was mostly confused, with a tint of shock and horror. Scott just smiled- a rare gentle one, that only Owen ever got to see.

"Don't worry, pet. I wasn't just going to let this one get away. They certainly tried to- but I tracked them down and brought them here," Scott crooned. Owen's brows knitted together, and he frowned.

"But-"

"Have no fear- they'll never hurt you again," Scott murmured, voice trailing off into a growl as he tightened his grip again, and the attacker's throat finally gave way beneath his grip. Bones snapped and crunched beneath his hand, and the light behind their eyes dimmed. He dropped the body, frowning a little at the blood that stained his claws. Normally he didn't mind a little blood- in fact he usually relished it- but the blood of such filth wasn't worthy of touching him.

"You didn't have to do that," Owen said softly. Scott looked to him, eyes catching on the cut still sluggishly bleeding on his cheek. His blood was strange- a desaturated red color. Scott detested the sight of it, the reminder that someone had the gall to hurt what was his.

"Don't be ridiculous. Now, come here- let me get a look at that cut," Scott murmured. Owen didn't protest, letting Scott guide him to sit on top of the crafting table. Scott grabbed a potion of harming- a healing potion would only further harm the undead- and grabbed a cloth to apply it with. He gently dabbed at the cut with the potion-dampened cloth, murmuring an apology when Owen winced. Owen stayed silent throughout Scott tending to his injury, eyes focused on the corpse on Scott’s carpet.

"Do you think they'll come back as a ghost? Like me?" Owen asked, finally looking Scott in the eyes. Scott set down the cloth, hand coming up to tenderly cup Owen's face, thumb rubbing over his now healed cheek.

"If they do, I'll kill them again. You're safe with me, pet," Scott murmured. Owen looked up at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

"You love me," he said, a soft realization, but a certain one- no question in his voice. Scott jolted back a little, heat rushing to his face. He scrambled to compose himself- here he was, master of the demon realm, acting like a lovesick teenager.

"You are... important," Scott settled on. An amused twinkle came to Owen's eyes.

"It's alright if you can't say it yet. I know, and that's what matters, right?" Owen said, grinning. For a moment, Scott wanted to kiss that grin off his face. He wanted to feel the cool press of Owen's mouth against his own, a stark contrast to Scott’s own molten exterior. He wanted to press him against the wall, run his claws through his hair and take.

But he couldn’t. Not yet, at least. His brother had been foolish in so openly showing their attachments. Scott would not be the same. Even this moment was a risk, this brief closeness that Scott craved. But here their only witness was a corpse… no. As tempting as it was, Scott couldn’t. If he gave in to his desires in private, then next would come the urge to publicly display his affections. He couldn’t risk that.

"Scott?" Owen asked, voice soft, almost timid. A light flush painted his cheeks underneath Scott’s gaze. Scott blinked, shaking himself slightly.

"Of course that's what matters, pet," Scott replied, voice so low only Owen could hear it. Owen smiled, adoring and gentle. He tilted his head further into Scott’s hand, cool lips pressing a slow kiss to his palm. Scott felt like he was on fire, despite the fact that he was immune to flame. He drew his hand away from Owen's face before he did something foolish.

“Good! Now, what are we gonna do about that?” Owen asked, gesturing at the body on Scott’s carpet. Scott glanced over his shoulder, then back to Owen.

“We?” he asked, a little perplexed.

“Yeah, we! What, did you think I’d let you kill someone for me and not help you get rid of the body?” Owen scoffed. A wry smile came to Scott’s lips at the turn of phrase- no one “let” him do anything, he did whatever he pleased, heedless of what others wanted. (But maybe, for Owen, he’d do anything he asked- but that was an instinct Scott buried so deep that he almost didn’t know it was there, much less admit it).

“There is darkness in you,” Scott mused.

“Nahh, just happy to help you!” Owen replied with a bashful smile. Scott chuckled and shook his head, turning to root through his storage for a flint and steel.

Getting the body out of Scott’s tower was easy with the two of them. And maybe, just maybe, Scott allowed himself to watch the flickering light of the flames dance across Owen’s face as they burned the body. The smoke curled into the night sky, a signal, a warning. Don’t trifle with the demon, or his ghost.

-

general mcyt fic taglist: @actuallymothman @corazon10000 @damiensaidno @franticfandomfanatic @gattonero17 @hetapeep41 @meowdy-pickles @space-ace123 @vyeoh

[galaxythreads]

Idk if you're still doing the lore thing, but if you are: The Blood Of My Enemy Stains My Hands Now?

I am ALWAYS still doing lore for fics. Sorry this took like two weeks to answer, anon.

LORE FOR THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMY STAINS MY HANDS NOW <-- link to story

this was written as a request for Tamuril2, who asked for something with Loki and Fury after I wrote My Kids Will Call Me Fury , where Fury collected the Avengers as his kids. They wanted something with Loki and Fury specifically, so when I added the additional scene at the end of MKWCMF, I also decided to just...write this.

I didn't have a plan. I didn't even really have an end goal in mind.

I remember starting to write it and just being like "yknow what, fine" and just letting it go wherever. I wrote the entire thing in like seven hours. I am a meticulous planner for multi-chapters. For one-shots I kinda just let the story take itself.

Fair warning, I haven't read this story in probably 2 years. No, I think i listened to it at work recently? honestly i have no idea.

lol. Fury is such an a-hole.

---

it was not ear blood. It was the fact that Loki was crying. The ear blood just sort of sealed the deal.

---

PTSD from being tortured by Thanos ^^^

---

"Flesh around a long, ragged gorge (a stab, not clean) is blackened and the veins around it are turning a purplish-blue."

.....

galaxy.

that's kind of too funny to go and edit out honestly. Sometimes I find grammar errors that I can't stand but this is just. This is comedy gold.

reason 1134325235 I should have a beta, but don't. (I edit vigorously but that only catches 92% of everything)

---

"Fury can see evidence of previous scars there, white and not as faint as he's expecting for someone over a millennia old."

^^^

from torture with thanos

---

yeah, i think the injury has changed like at least two times that I've noticed. If you can't tell, I literally had no idea what I was going with, lol.

---

ha. Everyone kept making jokes about how Thanos would be defeated by Cap Marvel alone without any effort on her part whatsoever before Endgame came out and I found it really annoying. This is 1000% a "look, carol can't solve everything" point.

---

"He jolts a little and his face twitches with something that looks close to a grimace. Fury leans against the side of the car a little, and stares at him."

^^ hypervigilance, a common symptom of ptsd

---

""Believe me, Director, the things that are after me would horrify you."

Fury blinks. "That is not reassuring."

"It wasn't meant to be."

Of course not. Brat."

I love them, your honor.

---

"And, well, he attempted to smuggle me out the next day. We didn't make it far. Odin commissioned Thor banned from Asgard for the next two years and I to the snake pits beneath the palace."

THEY JUST HAVE SNAKE PITS BENEATH THE PALACE AND NO ONE BRINGS THAT UP AGAIN? WHAT IS THIS????????? AMERICA EXPLAIN!

----

"There is no way that Fury is sending him back. None on this planet, none on any other. If capital punishment must be met, it should be clean. Fury has never been big on torture as recompense for a crime."

I know there are a lot of mcu fics out there where Fury 100% engages in torture and believes it's an effective means of retrieving information or enacting punishment, but I personally don't see Fury doing that. To be clear, I think those fics are fun and very enjoyable, but I don't think that Natasha, Clint, or Tony would trust Tony to the extent they do if Fury was willing to do a ton of physical/mental harm to someone.

---

"Stop scowling, S.H.I.E.L.D. can always use the assets. You work for us and we'll give you a roof over your head and keep you from Asgard, and whatever else it is that's hunting you.""

WAIT I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT THIS IS THE FIC I WROTE WHERE LOKI BECOMES FURY'S C.I./AGENT

I LOVE THIS FIC

---

Between yet another villain attack and Tony breaking into S.H.I.E.L.D. again, Fury nearly forgets all about it.

TONY

I need the context behind this and yet I have none XD

---

 Despite the fact that his leathers were destroyed and Fury banned him from using magic save truly dire circumstances, he still manages to seem well dressed. Fury's not even certain where the long suit coat came from. He doesn't wear ties from what Fury's seen unless the circumstance permits it.

^^

more ptsd from torture. ties are a little too close to strangulation for him.

---

If Fury hadn't been looking for it he would have missed the slight widening of Loki's eyes and the relief slip into his stance.

^^

I always got the impression that Odin spent a great deal of time yelling at Thor and Loki for doing things wrong. I don't imagine Loki's delivered reports to his father that went over smoothly.

---

"So, you're keeping him?" Coulson questions and Fury nearly jumps in surprise at the voice, turning to look back at the agent currently seated in a chair in his office, the folder that he's compiled on Loki in hand.

I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH! WHY IS COULSON HERE? I DON"T KNOW, BUT IT'S GREAT HE BROKE INTO FURY'S OFFICE AND FURY ISN'T EVEN ANNOYED, JUST RESIGNED. like it happens all the time. (Oh, hill asked him to look into it. okay. makes sense. still glorious)

Also loving that Coulson is literally chill with the guy who stabbed him working with them. Like. Bro. You're a SAINT.

---

He hasn't mentioned it to his higher-ups and plans to keep it that way.

The more they can make it seem like Loki vanished off the face of the Earth the better.

Less things to shove off his tail.

^^

Fury's desperate self explanations for everything are fantastic. Literally he's doing this so the "big bad thing" after Loki doesn't pick up the fact that he didn't die on the street corner.

---

"Fury's rising desire to punch Odin and any other Asgardian (save Thor) in the face kicks up a notch."

^^

yeah if this is not clear from earlier, Fury and Thor are good terms. They've talked a bit about Loki, which is how Fury knew that Loki would make a good agent to begin with.

---

It both strings and numbs him to realize that Loki trusts him enough not to sneak something into the food. Loki stays the rest of the night on the couch, his face twitching with discomfort, but the trust that he presents Fury with is humbling.

^^

This is. Bro. Loki is so untrusting. like deeply at his core. the fact that he did this with fury just really makes me realize how much Loki trusts him. He showed up at Fury's house when he was having an anxiety attack to ask for help. He didn't think Fury would turn him away. He didn't even bother to pick through the food because he trusts fury. Like. whoa.

---

He comes to with an aching back, a sore throat unequal to any other, and the sound of quiet voices talking around him. His mind refuses to really process any of the words their speaking beyond frazzled bits of mumbles, but he recognizes the voices enough that he doesn't panic.

AND FURY TRUSTS THE AVENGERS + LOKI

---

"Thank you." Fury interrupts.

Loki's jaw hangs a little and he stares at him, "What?"

"Thank you." Fury repeats.

Loki's eyebrows look in danger of disappearing into his hairline. "I…?"

Curse you, Odin, and all you other Asgardian idiots.

^^^

Loki saved everyone's lives on Jotunheim and not one (1) person thanked him for keeping them alive. I don't get the impression he gets thanked that often.

---

"Sure, he was shot, but it isn't the worst thing that's ever happened to him before.

He's a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. S.H.I.E.L.D. director.

He has other things to do."

THIS MAN I SWEAR

--

"Loki belongs to Asgard—!"

"And I've elected to ignore that."

^^

probably a better summary of this fic, lol.

---

LINK TO STORY

[gascon-en-exil]

I'm not on social media much and I came to FE3H super late so maybe you can explain it? I've heard the term "khalidstan" once before but i never actually see Claude fans (like literally) It's like they don't exist or they're not very active ? it's always Dimitri or edelgard . So Like Where are they ? And Where does this term come from?! is this a Twitter thing (I don't use Twitter...is that where all the FE fans are LOL) i cant even imagine a claude stan And Since his fans dont exist to me I don't even know what "takes" they have on him LOL. the few takes ive seen on Claude are from edelstans (Do they just attack like everyone that goes against their waifu? I bet they hate Hilda for not being recruitable on CF lol)

Just as "Edelstan" does not refer to all of Edelgard's fans but rather to a specific type of combative and exhaustively argumentative subgroup, so too are the Khalidstans distinct from the much larger body of Claude fans. In their case they are easily identified by their insistence that Claude should always be referred to as Khalid, hence the name. As Reddit is the home turf of Edelstans, so is Twitter for the Khalidstans. Most of them were active on Tumblr at one time, but have since left or gone inactive on this platform after they realized they weren't welcome. (I flatter myself to imagine that their weeks-long attempt at trolling me in the summer of 2020 partially contributed to their leaving Tumblr, as I am notoriously impossible to troll.)

Khalidstans are fewer in number than Edelstans, although this does mean that it's easier to identify their defining characteristics:

As mentioned, they always refer to Claude as Khalid, even though that name appears nowhere in the text of Three Houses and was only introduced in a Japanese interview on the game.

They are also antis - members of the broader fandom movement who (mis)apply social justice lingo to vilify characters and ships they dislike on moral grounds - who have denounced Studentleth (Byleth/any student character) pairings as pedophilic. It was my sharing with my followers a lengthy piece one of them had written accusing Three Houses of promoting grooming and pedophilia that got them targeting me for trolling. Related to this, one of them wrote an obvious and widely-mocked troll fic of Claude's mother traveling to Garreg Mach and physically assaulting Byleth for flirting with her son.

Unlike the Edelstans who mire themselves in Watsonian rhetoric, Khalidstans are Doylist to a fault. They accuse IS of being racist for writing Claude Khalid with any negative traits and/or any positive associations with "white" characters. This manifests as their hating Dimitri and Dimidue (they're among the people who call them a white savior pairing, naturally), Hilda and Hilclaude for House Goneril keeping Almyran indentured servants, Rhea and the other Nabateans (who don't count as genocide victims in their eyes because they're light-skinned), Edelgard and Hubert (the former, an imperialist; the latter, racist to Petra in one of their supports which is clearly the most evil thing he's ever done *rolls eyes*), Felix and Ingrid for their behavior toward Dedue, and probably others I'm forgetting. One of them additionally coined the confusing term "white of color" which they then used to refer to characters like Ashe and Marianne, and neither I nor anyone else can understand what on earth that could refer to aside from those being "white" characters that that person likes despite their skin color.

In connection with the above, they are known for creating elaborate headcanons and OCs involving Almyra, Brigid, Duscur, and other lands outside Fódlan - which would be fine were it not always such a transparent means of bashing canon and the long list of characters and ships they hate. They've produced such gems as the headcanon that Lorenz is half-Dagdan (meaning coded East Asian, to them) because of his hair color and slanted eyes, which matters for the next point; a fic where Claude, Petra, and Dedue are in a poly relationship that serves only to bash Dedue's relationship with Dimitri and tell us how much happier he is with his two new lovers; the belief that Cyril is effectively Rhea's slave and that if IS weren't so racist he'd happily turn on her; and repeated complaints whenever Claude gets any new official art or a Heroes alt that IS is whitewashing him/not making him dark enough, possibly in part because his being biracial conflicts with their oddly conservative attitude toward interracial relationships. As ought to be apparent, despite their alleged progressivism the Khalidstans can be quite reductive when it comes to characters, valuing them solely on the basis of their skin color and other physical traits and assuming that all the game's darker-skinned characters would automatically understand and relate to each other even if they have no canon interaction.

Of course, this also ties into the fact that several of the most prominent Khalidstans have freely admitted to having never played Three Houses at all, which explains why they spend most of their time rejecting canon and building up their AUs. This doesn't stop them from getting embroiled in fandom drama, however; there's the anti-Studentleth screeds on Twitter, as mentioned, but they also took the side of Claurenz in an apparently heated ship war between them and Dimiclaude shippers. They justify shipping Claurenz because of the headcanon about him being half-Dagdan (and therefore not "white"), which is to them obviously superior to shipping Claude with evil racist conservative/centrist Dimitri.

Khalidstans' impact on fandom is less obvious than Edelstans', because there aren't as many and because Twitter is less suited to lengthy theories and exposés than Reddit (or Tumblr). Nonetheless, some of the discourse around the Three Hopes demo carries signs of their influence. They led the charge in praising Three Hopes because Shez is a student and not a teacher (thereby avoiding "pedophilia"), and I can't help but think of them whenever I see people surprised or angry at the developers because Almyra invades the Alliance and Claude helps to repel them. The events we've seen of Golden Wildfire thus far are consistent with Claude and Almyra as we saw them in Three Houses, but not with the Khalidstans' fanon interpretations of Almyra as an enlightened paradise with no serious problems except constant aggression from the evil racists of Fódlan. Regarding an upcoming political shakeup in Leicester that dataminers have uncovered, this discourse is likely to only get worse after the full game releases.

[titleleaf]

ooh tell me some things about process for "jacob's dream" the jophickey noncon one... characterization thoughts would be especially interesting but really anything

First of all THANK, second of all, here is so many words that are probably totally incoherent, I really appreciated getting to revisit this fic!

Fic is here @ AO3 -- Jopson->Hickey noncon for AMC's The Terror s01e08. CW: discussion of #sexual violence and general violence behind the cut

This fic felt so mean to write -- I love writing about dark!versions of characters and it never comes from a position of disliking or hating that particular character, it's more about turning them inside out and figuring out a different aspect of them. Jopson has a steely streak in him and his capacity for patience and care doesn't negate that -- I can't imagine him ever getting to such a point of extremity (even his enthusiasm for knocking Hickey around at gunpoint in this fic, let alone the noncon part) without serious external pressures but the combination of (correctly) perceiving the captain to be under threat and reaching the absolute end of his emotional resources, feeling like they're on the very fringe of "civilized" behavior already, has him doing something he would never have done aboard ship or before they departed. It's a really weird desperate campaign to shore up the captain's authority (and through him by extension the whole vertical structure of English society as he knows it -- the captain, the admiralty, the queen, God) that brings Jopson himself to a worse place than he was before. It's fun showing the harder, tougher, steelier side of Jopson but it's in the context of something fundamentally fucked and morally degrading. I had the idea of "hey what if Terror Camp Clear-era noncon" first -- the way Hickey acts so fake-casual just sparked something, idk -- but I ended up digging in trying to figure out how to get these characters there.

I'd forgotten until rereading this how blatantly I have Hickey just say "Jopson is mad because he's sold his soul to an uncaring power structure", lol -- that's a jaundiced take given Hickey POV and Cornelius being like, one bear attack away from screaming about Queen Victoria, but Jopson is a lawful kind of guy, a caretaker, and he's highly attuned to any threat of instability. Hickey acting against their captain poses a catastrophic threat to the whole system of hierarchy that Jopson puts stock in and Hickey does not, and the extremity of Jopson's response is as much due to that as it is due to a personal dislike of Hickey and his goading. I really wanted this to come across as very physical and ungainly, very much like a beating where the sexual contact is Jopson using his dick the same way he's using his gun or his fists. He's just trying to degrade Hickey in a way he associates with Hickey already, not just sex but brutality and dirtiness -- I hadn't thought of this, but Jopson as a steward must have some thoughts and feelings about whatever he may suspect about Hickey's relationship with Gibson -- and hoping it'll break him down to size. On the flipside, Hickey's twisting his position around to be an empowering one, where he's in control by forcing Jopson to sink to his level and compromise his own moral convictions. Lots of stuff in the show between the two of them as characters about dirtiness and cleanliness, slovenliness and tidiness, laziness and diligence, and it makes them great foils.

There's a weird push and pull here where Hickey absolutely sees rape (specifically being raped) as on a continuity with all his other experiences of sex -- in a calmer moment Jopson would find what he's doing in this fic abhorrent, and he really does try to hide it, but Hickey doesn't view it as qualitatively different than being beaten and he's got a ton of rationalizations in play to keep him from ever having to sit with his emotional responses to sexual exploitation. Unlike his nasty gnome book counterpart, or even a character like Henry Drax who's indifferent to consent as long as he gets off, I think Hickey has a preference for and enjoyment of consensual, pleasurable gay sex that is at odds with his weird conviction that he can scheme and fuck his way to the top. (god, do you think I write too many fucked-up characters... having to say "strangely, Hickey enjoys consensual sex more than nonconsensual sex"...) He always sees the power play in any sexual encounter and the ways even mutually pleasurable sex can be fraught, and while most of the time I think he's projecting sexuality on cross-rank interactions where it's not necessarily there (or willing it into being, like a self-fulfilling prophecy -- Crozier's drink, news of the Marines) I think he's pretty right here that Jopson is doing what he's doing to reassert the power structure that places him over Hickey and Crozier over both of them. (Which is why he goes right to "btw I fucked the captain, did you know that, I fucked the captain and got his uniform dirty too" -- he construes Jopson's attachment to the hierarchy aboard ship as sexual both because he's a gadfly and a shit-stirrer who wants to sully Crozier and demean Jopson, but also because he sees sex and power as inherently intertwined. And if you loooove the captain so much, why don't you marry him?)

Even though the context is really bleak, I loved writing attack dog Jopson -- he sees himself here as doing for Crozier what Crozier can't do for himself, invoking how Hickey's transgressed against The Rules(tm) to justify what he's doing to him. Jopson🤝 Crozier

It's also just fun to write about the rough, dirty, whiskery, seamy side of Jopson, someone who's got a face like a haunted doll despite his incredible beard-growing abilities and is easy to paint as kind of wispy due to his clear trauma and his moments of great gentleness. (Neither of which Hickey can understand.) Jopson's a mess by the end of the season, and his misapprehension that Crozier has abandoned him perversely fulfills Hickey's nasty little dig about how Jopson's sacrificed so much for the hierarchical order and it's not giving him anything in return. (The flipside, maybe, of none ever wanted nothing from me. Hickey has to give Jopson's position the sour-grapes treatment to preserve his own self-image, because Jopson very much is a wanted and valued crew member.)

Also wow, a lot of scurvy stuff in this, I think I tried to make it tangibly nasty given how Jopson's physical deterioration is so agonizing in those last episodes but even Hickey is feeling the malnutrition woes. I do *not* know how Hickey thinks a person would lose their testicles (or a testicle, singular) due to scurvy. Maybe he thinks they drop off.

[kadoodles-on-ao3]

It seems like you have a vendetta against Shulk/Fiora. Like, not just disliking it and preferring Shulkelia but straight up hate the canon ship of the game. Why?

Thank you for asking this! It's an interesting question and I have a quite a bit to say about it (as usual with me aha). So I'll put the details under the cut, but yes, I personally do not like any aspect of the canon relationship/writing of it at all (although I don't go into that here since I talked about much more than I expected lol, if you're curious specifically about what my opinions are on the dialogue/choices in the game regarding Shiora feel free to send me another ask!). Also if you've read my fanfics (genuinely not trying to plug my work haha I swear) and see how I write Fiora and her friendship with Shulk, and especially the fic where I write from her pov for the whole thing, you can see I don't hate her and try to be respectful to her creators and fans! Anyway, for a TL;DR:

Aside from my personal history (which also is part of why I like Shulkelia as much as I do) causing the way Fiora's attraction to Shulk is written to not come off very well to me, and even ignoring what I've seen on the Internet about how people react to these ships and those who like or dislike them, it's just A Thing About Life that there will be parts of media you really like and parts of the same media you really don't, and that's what makes art engaging and impactful and personal and fun to talk about! I'm just someone who always has a lot to say about anything, so don't take my diatribes as anything more than me being passionate about analyzing stuff haha. I still love Xenoblade 1 with all my heart, and me not liking parts of the series such as Xenoblade 2 (very much) or Shiora (at all) doesn't affect how much I enjoy what I do like! It's just another fun facet to delve into for me, whether it's a thing I like or a thing I dislike.

And when all you see and know of me is from a blog that's specifically just for talking about a small facet of one piece of media, I can come off as more melodramatic about my liking of Shulkelia and disliking of Shiora since I don't talk too much about the rest of Xenoblade as a whole, nor anything else for that matter, on here. I promise I don't truly care that much about this fictional love triangle in my day-to-day life, and I'm sorry if I came off as rude about it! If you like their relationship then... I do want to say more power to you, and count this as me having said so, but also I don't feel like I need to because, as you said, it is canon so the Xenoblade devs have been (and probably will be!) providing plenty of enjoyment for you, and so no one should care what a silly singular stranger like me thinks at the end of the day haha.

But if you do, then here's what I have to say:

First off, I just enjoy really thoroughly dissecting everything I like, as well as dislike (as you will soon see!). I like delving into details and analyzing stuff, and sometimes that passion can be a little too obsessive, which can come off as me being passionate in my hatred of The Thing rather than passionate about analyzing why I hate The Thing (which is what's really going on). So it's important to me to say that when I talk about anything I dislike in depth like this, it's not ever meant to be hating on or attacking people who do like it! I just really find it fun to put things under a microscope, both when I really like them and really dislike them, because I enjoy discovering what, specifically, about them makes me feel that way.

I also think it's important to repeat that point about how this blog is both 1) meant to be near-exclusively about Shulkelia and 2) the posts I make here are pretty much my entire online footprint (outside of my fanfic account which is p much about the same topic aha), and as such these are the only things that strangers have to form an opinion about me (much like the common criticism brought up about parasocial relationships). When I log on to this blog I'm here to talk about my Xenoblade OTP or things related to it, and so that's all you see of/know about me. And even though the reason I made this blog is because of how much I like it (I'm kind of obsessive about the things I'm really passionate about, I've been that way my whole life, so that certainly doesn't help either haha), there are things I may like equally or even more, but because they aren't what this blog is for I don't mention them, and so anyone who doesn't know me won't know about them unless I talk about them. When you only see the fraction of me that I'm willing to share, then of course it'll seem like that fraction is the whole me if you never get to see the other 99%.

So much in the same way that I can seem super obsessed about Shulkelia (which, to be fair, I do get that way some days haha) it can seem like I really really hate Shiora too, since the only time I'm going to talk about it is on a blog that's dedicated to a different ship, and since I'm not really a multishipper nor do I enjoy the writing of it in canon, I won't ever have much nice to say about it. And because it's a canon ship that most people seem to enjoy, it's going to come up from time to time on art that either has Fiora/the love triangle involved or in the comments I see on it, and since I have something to say about it I do. Although I do genuinely not like it at all, I try to do it in a way where it's clear I'm not hating on people who enjoy it, either by trying to hammer home that it's just my personal opinion about it, or being super hyperbolic about disliking it in an attempt at humor. But tone and meaning can get lost from brain to text and I'm surely not the best at wording things sometimes, so I don't blame anyone for getting the wrong impression, and if that's happened I do apologize!

For example, if this blog was instead about my love of Mexican food (which is true!) and was meant for being a catalogue of recipes I come across, I'd probably talk in the tags pretty often about how I lament that so many recipes have cilantro in them because I have the weird cilantro-tastes-like-soap gene and so it tastes awful to me (which is also true!). When this happens over and over again on so many recipes that have cilantro, and when this repetition is all you ever get to see about me, it would probably seem like I have a burning hatred for cilantro, when in reality I barely think about it at all, and if something I want to eat has it I'll just politely ask for no cilantro or silently pick it off. I do think the weird gene is interesting, and I have a fun story about how I found out I have it which I enjoy telling, but I'm also just fine eating my food if no one wants to talk about it.

But that comparison isn't perfect, because there's a lot more going on in interpersonal relationships (fictional or not) and why people enjoy them or not. So let's get into that!

I did mention there were personal reasons why I feel the way I do, and to the extent I do, about these pairings, so it's only fair to explain what that's about. All throughout my life up until college I never had anyone show any romantic interest in me, even in high school, while in contrast all my friends as well as my sister had been in multiple relationships, so I felt rather lonely and figured there was something wrong with me if no one would want to date me haha. But I did of course have crushes of my own (that because of the aforementioned thought I had that I was unlikable I never acted on) and one of them was on a mutual friend that my best friend at the time also knew, as well as knew that I liked him. And all of a sudden one day they were going out and being affectionate all the time, including right in front of me even though my friend knew I liked him. That plus my loneliness from before obviously hurt really bad and made me pretty upset for a while haha.

Then on top of that later that year I would connect with someone like I never had before in my life and he "felt the same way", the very first person to ever tell me they liked me and I believed it. I honestly do still think he did like me... yet he would go on to get into a relationship with someone else and all the while repeatedly promise me that I was special to him and that she didn't get him like I did and he'd leave her for me but of course we can still have our deep talks about his personal problems and blah blah blah. There's a lot more to it than that but I'll cut it short and just say this happened for literally every single day for an entire year of my life, and it really deeply affected me for a long time, though I'm fine now of course. Well, it did change me as a human being, but you know what I mean haha. I don't say this to elicit pity (really, don't, I promise I'm fine) but to give you some puzzle pieces to help figure out the mystery of why I dislike Shiora.

So I'm sure you can see the parallels from my life to what Melia goes through, and that's precisely the mechanism that everyone uses to relate to and love fictional characters: they deal with horrible stuff that we can connect back to horrible stuff we've been through, and we empathize with them. That's one reason why so many people love Shulk (including me!), and Melia, and countless other characters. That's kind of what they're here for: to relate to. He just like me for real and all that. So, in the same way my life experiences make me relate so much to Melia, I can also relate those who I liked but never could be with to Shulk and relate their girlfriends to Fiora. And knowing how those real-life relationships ended up and why they didn't work out, I can really see parallels to how Fiora and Shulk's relationship is written, at least with the vibe I got from it on first and second impression. Therefore I both dislike it for personal reasons and the information those reasons gave me about good and bad relationships.

On a lighter note though, there's another aspect to the whole we-like-characters-we-identify-with thing with regards to shipping: I really do think the ships we like (if any) are based on and a reflection of ourselves and what we want in a partner (should we want to have one). Or in simpler terms, our OTPs are often made up of a character we can self-insert as and a character we would marry if they were real haha. And I don't mean that in a bad way at all! It's fun to make up fake scenarios with fake characters that you want to kiss, even when you're not writing direct-self-insert or xReader stuff (which I also don't bash)! I'm certainly guilty of this myself, even as much as I try to write them true to their character, relating so much to Melia and finding a lot about Shulk attractive for reasons that Melia also does means I'm just like everyone else haha. But on the other side of the coin, the fact that I cannot relate to Fiora in so many ways as well as do not vibe with how she treats her attraction to Shulk means I can't really enjoy the thought of them as a couple.

But outside of talking about the canon for just a second more, I think there's an interesting phenomenon(? idk what to call it lol) here that is in this ask as well as many other people's vocalized opinions regarding this game's love triangle: said canon. As in, the concept that someone could like Xenoblade 1 overall but dislike the canon relationship either confuses and/or upsets some people. Which is strange to me on its own, like do these people also get confused and/or mad when someone says they love hamburgers but hate when they have pickles on them? Everyone has their own tastes, and what you like or how much of it you do is just part of being an individual. (Plus I must say it's extra odd with regards to Shulkelia, as I've never seen the same comments/reactions to ships like Meliora, Shulk/Reyn, Shalvis, Dunban/Melia, etc, despite the fact that they're all equally as non-canon as Shulkelia. Maybe it's because the game firmly shoots down Shulk liking Melia so hard? But it also shows how much Fiora likes Shulk, so wouldn't Meliora [which is pretty darn popular as far as Xenoblade 1 ships go, at least from my browsing] be just as "anti-canon"?).

For extra context too, there are. SO. many friendzoned/"haha Shulk doesn't like Melia" memes and jokes out there (and if these people are so concerned with canon, it's weird how often they make Shulk and/or Melia act out of character super hard to push the joke!) which don't really exist to be pro-Shiora and more just anti-Shulkelia. I even came across a guy on reddit who would post Melia fanart every day, and so many of his posts were stalked by this one dude who would write a little rant about how Melia sucks and Fiora is the best, and would really go off if the fanart showed Melia's crush on Shulk in any way. Now he was super downvoted every time but... I've never seen anyone do that for Shulkelia. And yet I have seen quite a few posts of people complaining about Shulk/Melia fans shoving their ship in their faces and how much it sucks as a ship and I'm like i have been trying for MONTHS to find a single scrap of shulkelia content yet find barely anything and what i do find has SO many comments saying they still like shiora or that they hate the art since it's not shiora literally WHO are you talking about??? Like maybe I just am unlucky and have seen literally all 20 or whatever number of instances of Shiora fans being rude that ever existed but... they still do exist. I'm not making this up, in fact I encourage you to go out and search for Xenoblade fan content regarding this love triangle and see how people react to it! That's what I did and that's how I came across all of this!

Anyway, like was there a huge ship war in the early fandom days or something??? If so why can I find no mention of it anywhere except from salty Shiora shippers/Fiora fanboys, like barely any Shulkelia art even exists and I see zero talk from the supposed pushy Shulkelia fans? They have like 30 freaking fics in existence and half of them are Melia sulking about how Fiora is being lovey dovey with Shulk and showing they actually got together after all so don't even really count as Shulkelia fics!! In my searching for Shulkelia content I come across so many comments from people who like the ship trying to downplay their enjoyment of it and placate any potential Shiora fans reading their comments with "oh but Shulk/Fiora is cute too! i still like them together! i only like Shulk/Melia in a close friends kind of way, or just to make Melia happy idc about the ship i just like seeing her smile!" so like... What reality do these other guys live in where they got bombarded with Shulkelia over and over because I wish I lived in it!!! Something's up with some Fiora fans idk. Maybe I just had back luck in my searching, but try it yourself and see. I'm not crazy or making this up, I could just have been seeing all 20 or whatever number of Shiora's rude fans but... they do exist, and I have yet to see similar behavior from Shulkelia fans.

And this isn't all just me being a lurker looking at rando's comments as well. I even have a bit of a secondhand-experience story to tell about it! (The specific timeline of the initial details might be jumbled a bit, but I do remember the gist of it and still have the DMs to confirm some of the facts!)

I used to be active on Twitter, and I followed a lot of different Xenoblade fan artists on there. One day a certain artist posted a WIP of Melia and Shulk laying next to each other on a hill where Shulk was smiling at her, and although the artist deleted it (for reasons you will soon learn about) I think they wrote the Japanese ship name of the two on the tweet for it. Either way, I do recall before the WIP was posted they tweeted about liking Shulkelia, or rather ShuMeri as the Japanese ship name is called, (although in much the same "i like Melia so i like the thought of her being happy. Shulk belongs with Fiora though! i still ship them!" please-don't-be-mad-at-me way that I have never seen a Fiora/Shiora fan do) and wanting to draw something for it. Even though this particular artist posted in Japanese, a language I don't know 99% of, I was able to get the gist of their tweets through the translation feature and my knowledge of what the characters' names are in Japanese. And despite how hard this artist tried to be nice, tried to show how much they weren't trying to be mean to Shiora fans (they even had drawn Shiora art months earlier!), they got a wave of hate directed at them from Japanese fans which I saw in real time.

And if you doubt this because the tweets are now deleted, and because even when they were up I only read them through an A.I. translation, I felt so bad for this poor artist that I DM-ed them (regrettably in English, since I didn't trust my knowledge of Japanese to not end up making me say something I didn't intend or in a rude/informal tone) to show there was at least one other person out there that enjoyed ShuMeri and was excited to see their art. And they fortunately understood my message and knew English to message me back and told me direct quotes of what was thrown at them, which I still have in my DMs and will quote:

"'You are denying the original story. It's too unsatisfying and ugly' 'It's not right to make Shulk and Melia lovers.' someone said. At other times, people have replied to my art, complaining about Melia's behavior in the story, as I tweeted the other day. I've had a lot of negative comments about ShuMeri and Melia." (With regards to the whole "complaining about Melia's behavior in the story" thing, if I recall that was from people saying she had no right to have a crush on Shulk in the first place, which... I thought you guys said canon is sacrosanct? It is canon that Melia had a crush on Shulk, and if you don't like that then you don't respect the canon/story and aren't a real fan. Do you see how silly this sounds???)

So. Tell me if you have ever seen any Melia fans or Shulkelia fans ever behave like this. Because I sure haven't. (Like even this ask [which I am not upset about nor trying to be rude to the anon at all, on the contrary I'm super enjoying talking about this topic! it's just the dichotomy here is interesting to me!) is proof to me: how many times can you say you've seen comments on Shiora art or asks sent to Xenoblade fanblogs asking why someone doesn't like Shulkelia, do you hate Shulkelia, what's wrong with Shulkelia? Like I get one is canon and the other isn't, but like... have you seen shipping culture? Literally all of the most popular ships for any given media are non-canon, that's half the fun of shipping!!!

"Don't let mean fans sour the original work" (and again, just to make sure I'm clear, I do not consider the anon who sent this ask to be mean or rude in any way! I'm referring to other randos here!) and all that, but it's kind of hard for me to like a ship when it has fans that act like this... going around projecting by accusing fans of a different ship of their own behavior, or saying things that contradict their own points about how important canon is to them. Thinking back on how we like characters we can relate to, isn't it interesting how fans of a brash, headstrong, do-what-I-want-and-fuck-the-consequences character who gets everything she wants in canon act in a pushy or even rude way to fans of a reserved, self-reproaching, I-will-do-what-is-best-for-others-first character who has so much taken away from her, and the latter fans always defer to the former and feel guilty when they talk about liking their character even as they do so much to be nice to them? It's pretty interesting I think, it's like when dogs look like their owners or something haha.

To end this off, since even though I have more to say (which if you would like to hear please let me know!) I've talked for far too long now haha, I really want to post the rest of the DM that the artist I talked to (who to this day hasn't made another Shulkelia/Shulkelia-esque fanart again, and interestingly never gets hate on their Shalvis art which is again a non-canon "story-denying" ship, too. Maybe they just blocked the rude people and if so good for them, but it's interesting still that they haven't draw Shulkelia since):

"I think it's useless to argue about who is better, Fiora or Melia, and I don't want them to get me involved in that fight. However, I received words of encouragement from many kind followers like you. I now understand important things; 'Don't worry about mean people' and 'Draw what I like.' Fan art should be free, shouldn't it? If I draw ShuMeri, some mean people might appear again. But there are many more kind people like you. When I think of that, I'm not afraid anymore. I will try to draw ShuMeri one day. Maybe I'll get depressed again because of mean people, but then you can tell me, 'You draw fanart freely, right!'... Please tell me that. You made me feel better and made me cry with happiness. Thank you so much. :)"

-Mirim, who can be found here currently, and their old account where the drama happened is here. This is the piece of artwork they got so much hate for. Shulk and Melia aren't even touching in it and Mirim didn't even mention their ship name.

[kyogre-blue]

Ooh someone put to words why I felt that Liyue's archon quest really dropped the ball after Mondstadt's, thank you! My sister was appalled when I thought Kequing was the same person as Ganyu when she appeared for the first time haha, I went "oh purple-haired messenger lady" and didn't realize they were different people until I met Ganyu again for the glaze lillies and realized the dissonance in her values vs Kequing's lol

But about Mondstadt's archon quest—my perspective was colored by the fact that I read all the Mondstadt books before finishing it, but still—iirc doesn't Venti explicitly tell us that Dvalin *isn't* mad about the temples or the lack of worship, but that when he came back to Mondstadt he was met with rejection because people didn't recognize him? Just how much he sacrificed defending them from Durin must have twisted the knife even deeper... This draws parallels to the time he first descended to the world and he couldn't understand people and the people didn't understand him so they reacted with violence and anger, until he finally met Barbatos who saw him for his beauty instead (breeze amidst the forest vol. 1). And well, the time in the archon quest isn't the first time that Stormterror had attacked—he and the knights have clashed multiple times and animosity grew (breeze amidst the forest vol. 2 citation) to the point that revealing that he's the East Wind NOW would be dropping a political hot potato and put the Knights of Favonius in a lose-lose between killing one of their gods or looking like their people's safety didn't matter to them.

Plus, Venti specifically stating that Dvalin doesn't have to listen to him made perfect sense to me because, in the past, Venti DID command Dvalin - in battle against Durin, 500 years ago. The fallout of which has obviously caused Dvalin an unimaginable amount of pain and is basically why Dvalin and by extension Mond were in such dire straits in the present. Venti must have felt so guilty... that reminds me, they actually made this point a lot more explicit in the closed beta! The meaning is a lot clearer there than in the final version, imho - In the beta, as Venti is falling, still awake, Dvalin goes: "speak...summon me, command me, and thou shalt be saved—" but Venti instead smiles, relieved. "You have finally returned, Dvalin" and blacks out. When he wakes up on Dvalin's back, Venti tells Dvalin "I never summoned you because I never wanted to order you again." the AGAIN is key here, I believe.

You're right that 'freedom when commanded by an Archon is really not freedom at all' came a little out of left field though. The context probably was about how Venti commanding Dvalin to save him would mean nothing, while Dvalin Choosing to save everyone, by himself, despite everything, means a whole lot. And maybe about how Dvalin willingly tying himself back to Mond isn't what Venti wishes for him, but it's not his place to tell Dvalin what causes are worth committing himself to? Maybe? I'll have to think a bit more on that, bc Venti does seem to support people committing to service as long as it makes them happy. Hm.

Sorry if this is incoherent and hard to read rip I typed it in my phone and I can't see the whole ask at once in my tiny screen lmfao. Also I was surfing posts about the Genshin storyline and saw yours, which I was nodding along with, then I went to your tumblr and realised "Wait, that's the author of those amazing khr fics I read ages ago!!!!!" So I Kinda Got Overexcited fjkjdh

Mmmm I vaguely recall that Venti might have said that, but again, it isn't conveyed properly, which defeats the entire point.

One off-hand mention isn't enough for the motivations at the core of your storyline's central character. We needed something more like Jean sitting us down and explaining painfully how Dvalin showed up out of the blue one day, how the people panicked, how no one realized who he was until it was too, etc. This should be at least three sentences with sad music in the background, is what I'm saying. Like, an actual scene of this. This is what I mean when I say Mond feels like it's missing half of its scenes, to help transition between what we did get.

Similarly, I don't count the books toward the actual storyline. Very few people read those. I only read them on the wiki, not even in the game. The game doesn't even think you're reading them, since Liyue Act 4 literally told us nothing that wasn't already in the books, because they knew most players don't know this stuff and had to be caught up on all that. Beta content is obviously even less countable, since it's just straight up not canon anymore, since they chose to cut it.

(The beta stuff is interesting though! Wonder why they'd cut something so meaningful.)

In general, Mond and especially Liyue suffer from a ton of the setting and situation being just... vague.

We're not explicitly told what the actual conflict between the Qixing and the adepti is. We're not told what the adepti actually plan to do. We're not told what the Qixing are even doing behind the scenes. It's all discussed in total generalities, when the specifics would have massive implications for all the characters involved. In Mond, it's somewhat less noticeable because, at the end of the day, Dvalin is not being rational or acting as he normally would, so the situational details aren't too important. But in Liyue, the situation IS the plot, so.... yeah.

As much as I hate it, I will say that the new writers are better at convey this stuff, for whatever reason. I just finished Inazuma act 1 again, and it's noticeable how much they walk you through the situation in Inazuma, compared to Liyue's vagueness.

(Not to say that it's all good or even enjoyable, the Ritou errands were just annoying and the NPCs are a cancer, plus the emotional and character writing is a mess, especially in the other acts. Hilariously, it even comes back to bite them later because they try to sweep under the rug the situation they set up so painstakingly.)

I feel like those KHR fics are my real legacy, and I'm happy with that. Those were good days, hehe.

[nehswritesstuffs]

Sounds like you having lots of fun things to write about 😊I wish I could read your One Piece fics but I haven’t ever watched that show (I’m sure it’s good though) 😄No worries if not but any Whouffaldi fic updates soon?🙂

To answer the last part of the ask first: I plan on it, but I also plan on there being a lot more updates during the year-end holidays, so there’s a bit of hoarding that shall commence until later on in the month and December. There is actually a plan lol pls be patient or the groove will be thrown off

Now the rest of this is going to be me as a not-quite-One Piece-evangelist, because it is one of those things that I recommend with a HUGE caveat, and not for the reason people think.

A lot of people fear it because it’s so long (I just read the newest chapter, 1066, early yesterday morning and sobbed like a baby). That’s actually not the thing I warn against the most! If you can read long-form fics like The Time That We Love Best or The Thick of UNIT, or are able to sit through long and storied shows like Doctor Who, then I don’t think the length is what’ll be the potential problem.

It’s that the series is rather high on the Anime Bullshit Scale.

What is the Anime Bullshit Scale? It’s a scale that goes anywhere from low on the list with slice of life and mild whimsy (Kiki’s Delivery Service, Chii’s Sweet Home, Yotsuba&!, etc) to balls-to-the-wall-runs-on-nonsenseoleum (Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, Excel Saga, etc). One Piece is not at the tip-top of the scale due to some genuinely emotional and grounded moments, but it’s staggeringly up there thanks to how wacky it gets. There are even some people who really love anime who can’t go too high on the scale, and that’s fine, and I think not knowing about this scale is what creates bad recommendations that turn people off to anime and manga as a whole. You don’t go straight into Attack on Titan as your first anime, more like Cowboy Bebop or Azumanga Daioh, since those are milder than some of the other offerings. Not unless you’ve got a very specifically-tailored rec, such as Sakamoto Days if you’re a fan of John Wick (or so I’ve heard; never seen the Wicks), despite it being up there on the Scale.

Did you like Sailor Moon as a kid? Maybe up through the Ancient Egypt arc of Yu-Gi-Oh? Most of Naruto ‘cause we don’t talk about that show’s filler? Maybe you enjoyed stuff like Chowder or The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack or the Amazing World of Gumball or even a good chunk of early Spongebob Squarepants? Chances are that you might like One Piece. Personally, my attention is usually better with reading, so I’m a mostly-manga person (and there’s many websites with decent-to-great quality scans and translations that beat what I had available to me in high school, so you don’t have to worry about buying +100 volumes if your budget/living space isn’t ready or your local library isn’t carrying it (despite not being the longest manga series, it is the best-selling, so don’t feel bad)), but there is something to be said about watching. Go with the Funimation dub (which I think is on Crunchyroll and Netflix). It does have a bit of filler and it does exaggerate... erm... certain artwork quirks a bit more, but it is overall fairly loyal and coherent in comparison to the manga. Plus the pace is different--more cinematically measured in a way--and you can leave it on in the background if that’s what you need.

(Please take this time to pour one out for Mayumi Tanaka and Colleen Clickenbeard’s vocal chords, holy fcking shit.)

So, yeah, I do recommend One Piece if you’ve got a tolerance for wacky and long-form and lots of emotions everywhere. It’s pretty easy to start too: just go with chapter and/or episode one. Then you too can confuse the hell out of people by making references to it out of context, like saying how Worst Hypnotist Michael Jackson’s best friend is a wine pun who he met by defeating in a dance battle and now they simp together because that’s what bros do, naturally.

[bangtae-sohotddaeng]

tripping on skies, sipping waterfalls | k.th.

pairing: art-student!taehyung x creative-writing-student!reader 

rating: m (18+)

genre: angst | smut | fluff | humor | college!au | established relationship!au

summary: One drink too many at Hoseok’s Halloween party, and you’ve blanked out on the entire night that followed. Now, who’s gonna fill you in when Taehyung looks one second away from breaking into tears when you bring it up with him? From running across the university campus in remnants of your vampire outfit, to dealing with your downtrodden boyfriend’s disappointed stares - you’re left with one hell of a day, and zero recollections.

warnings: swearing + talks of alcohol (literally the whole tHEME of the story) + casual use of the word “amnesia” by careless college students + sexual situations (nudity, semi-public sexual acts, really explicit makeout sessions, dry-humping, lil bit breast play, lil dirty talking, fingering) + love bites galore.

word count: 19.2 k

note: so. issa a humongous beast, i know. i literally cannot fathom how i wrote these many words without posting anything in between. also, believe it or not, i fleshed out the plot for this fic all the way back in June, 2019. it's taken me nearly two years and a HELL LOTTA editing to the basic storyline to finally be able to finish this off. also, i extended this AU to include all the boys, so...kinda had to rope in their stories, too, lol. hope you enjoy this while i go slave off on the rest of the six fics~ 🥺💜

💟 YOUTH – 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

— masterlist

— feedback is always appreciated!

A knock sounded, seemingly coming from the end of a miles long tunnel. You groaned, pursing your lips against the pounding that echoed in your head in response.

Gosh, what was this? Why was your mind so freaking foggy? What did you do last n—

"Angel? Are you in there with hyung?"

You wrinkled your nose, always hating how your boyfriend's entire group of friends had taken to address you by the pet name he gave you—to the limit where you legitimately didn't always remember that "angel" wasn't your name. They said it was somewhat of a "norm" in their group that came into practice when Jin forbade them all from saying his girl's name. Or getting too friendly by calling her “noona” in a really creepy way.

You'd had eight months' experience of this idiocy now, but that didn't make you cringe any less whenever you heard the address.

You tried swallowing past the sand in your mouth, eyebrows wrinkling as you willed your brain to interpret what the voice said beyond your "name."

And then it registered.

In there? With hyung? 

What the hell?

"What? No, hyung, I can’t just rattle the knob to check—what? I might have heard some... wait. Why? What? No! Noona is—no, she's an adult, I'm sure she can make her own decisions! I’m not going to—I'm disconnecting the call, Namjoon-ssi, this is so uncomfortable!"

Your eyes fluttered open in pitch black darkness. 

Namjoon-ssi? Who was referring to your dumbheaded best friend with such respect?

Wait, wait, wait.

…noona?

Only one person called you…

"Jungkook?" you muttered, wincing at how horrible you sounded.

Releasing a deep breath, you came to the conclusion that you were dealing with a hangover. A really, really bad hangover, because your recollection of how you got to this point was nil.

Blinking, you opened your eyes wider, looking around in an attempt to catch bearings of where you were, because the overwhelming heat wrapped around your body definitely didn't remind you of your cold ass dorm room.

You squirmed, attempting to stick your feet out of the warm covers that seemed to be stifling you whole, specifically your legs and your midsection.

"Nuuuu~nghhh…"

You froze.

What the—?

The voice—well, more of a groan that you couldn't really comprehend—had come from somewhere near your rib cage. 

You pulled your arms down from where they were rested under your pillow, wincing at the soreness that'd taken residence in them. With slight shaky fingers, you reached over to where you hoped the nightstand would be. To your luck, your fingers brushed over a smooth table top before bumping into what felt like a button that could belong to a bedside lamp.

Swallowing the cotton wool lodged in your throat, you pressed down with your index and middle fingers, immediately hissing in discomfort when blinding light burned your corneas.

"Whaaa~nuuuuu…"

Something soft brushed against the underside of your boobs. Your eyes immediately snapped open wide, disregarding the killer headache that ensued. Your heart was pounding hard, fear climbing up your windpipe as you looked down.

Your naked boobs greeted your line of vision, followed by a mop of black hair.

You heaved in a huge gulp of air.

No. 

No, no, no, no, this couldn't—

Was this—

Did you—

Were you naked?

You didn't realise when your eyes had squeezed shut, but they fluttered open when a contented hum echoed around you, a small gust of warm breath brushing against your stomach.

"Uh…" You wanted to say something to the fluffy, dark hair moving around over your abdomen, but you were at a loss. 

Why was he lying over your naked body? God, was he naked, too?

What the heck had happened last night?

"Whoa." The fluffball on your abdomen moved completely, and a pair of round, pretty eyes connected with yours past your bared breasts. "What a beautiful sight to wake up to. Good morning, baby."

You involuntarily shivered at your boyfriend's gravelly morning voice. The damn pitch that was deeper than the ocean on the regular, tended to penetrate the layers of the earth itself when he woke up.

But…

Oh, God. You had only ever seen him topless. And only seen, not even touched. Or more. So, waking up to being topless and under him was making your heart beat out of your chest, and your body burn with sparks, all over.

"Um, Tae…"

"Hmm?" Plump lips connected to your skin, dragging over the sides of your breasts.

Your breathing was immediately unsteady even when your eyes widened in alarm. "T—Tae, wait…" You swallowed thickly when he climbed up your body and set his hands on the bed next to your pillow, his face hovering inches above yours.

You breathed in, preparing to speak past the bundle of nerves in your throat, and—froze. 

A corner of your lips twitched.

His eyes were surrounded by huge pools of black, that you could now recall was eyeliner that you'd meticulously applied on him, last evening. The bright red lipstick he'd gone for in order to finish off his vampire look, was now smudged all the way down to his chin. 

Despite the killer throbbing in your head and your panic at your state of undress, you couldn't hold back a fit of laughter at the sight. "Tae, baby—your makeup…" You managed to mumble between bouts of uncontrollable giggles.

Taehyung just grinned at you, shaking his head in silent humor. "As if you're any better. Ooh, look at this!" His eyes suddenly widened, focusing on your neck. "Your neck looks like you got attacked by a vampire, baby."

You smacked his chest with a harrumph, ignoring the warm, firm feel of it, rolling your eyes when he broke into laughter. "Pretty sure you were the one that did it, smartass."

"Well. I don't see a problem with it. We were supposed to be vampire mates, after all." Flashing you a smirk that would've been a lot more irresistible to you if it weren't for all the smudged lipstick on his face, Taehyung rolled off your body to sit at the edge of the bed. "This headache, though… ugh…" He groaned, massaging his forehead with a hand. "How much did we have to drink, Angel?

You slowly sat up in bed, dragging the sheets to cover yourself all the way up to your neck. Your brows furrowed in concern. How much did you have to drink, for real? The way you couldn't seem to recall literally anything from the party last night was kind of a sign that it had gone beyond your limits.

Clearing your throat in nervousness, you lifted the edge of the sheet to take a peek at yourself, breathing a tiny sigh of relief on finding your panties still wrapped around your hips. So at least you hadn't gone all the way, right?

Right?

"Hey, Tae," you called out, stopping your boyfriend on his way to the bathroom. He was clad only in a pair of boxers that accentuated his plump butt, which was also a first time experience for you, but you figured that it was better than nothing. "We, uh, what did we do last night?"

Taehyung looked at you over his shoulder, brows slightly creased in confusion. "What? We went to Hobi hyung's Halloween party, baby, dressed as vampires. Hence the makeup…?"

You shook your head, gulping down your nerves. Taehyung had completely turned around to look at you, now, arms crossed against his bare chest. In spite of the ridiculously smudged makeup on his face, he made a damn appealing sight. You willed your gaze to not stray down to his sculpted thighs for the sake of your own sanity.

"Angel?"

"I—I mean...after," you mumbled with flaming cheeks. 

Your asshole of a boyfriend grinned wickedly at that, moving his hands to place them on his hips. "Uh huh. After, baby? What do you think?" He gave you an exaggerated wink.

You looked down at your fingernails, your entire body almost shivering out of nervousness and each one of your nerve endings inducing sparks all across your body. You were pretty sure you were blushing all the way from your ears, down to your chest.

Soft thumps of feet padding across the floor echoed around the room. You felt his warmth near you before his fingers tapped beneath your chin, prompting you to look up.

You did, eyes widened and breathing halted.

Taehyung's brows were lowered and lips pursed together as he looked at you with soft, concerned eyes. "Do you…do you not remember anything?"

The hesitation in his voice almost caused your heart to stop beating. Why was he being like this? Had the two of you actually done it, last night?

And…you didn't even remember anything?

"Angel?"

"Oh, God, Taehyung! Why do I not remember?" you suddenly cried out. 

"Hey, hey, baby, it's okay!"

What? No, it wasn't.

You'd had sex with your boyfriend for the first ever time after eight months of dating, four out of which you'd spent dreaming extremely lewd and inappropriate dreams about him, and now―and now you didn't remember it!

"I'll go take a shower, and then we can talk about last night. Okay, baby? Hey, look at me," Taehyung softly spoke to you, carding long, elegant fingers of one of his hands through your hair. He cupped your cheek with the other. "Don't worry, Angel, you're just hungover right now. I'm sure it'll all come back once your head's feeling better."

You swallowed thickly, kinda pissed at yourself for feeling so emotional about this, but kinda more pissed at your drunk self for doing the do with the love of your life when she knew she was too far gone to retain the memories.

"I love you, baby," said love of your life murmured to you, leaning in to peck your forehead softly.

"Love you too, baby," you mumbled back, watching, from the corner of your eye, as his shapely ass made its way down the room and into the bathroom.

You exhaled, loudly. Even though you loved him beyond measure and trusted him completely, you didn't wanna talk to Taehyung, right now. He remembered everything from last night, and the torn, hesitant, kinda hurt look in his eyes made you feel insecure and disadvantaged.

You knew you had to cure your hangover first, vent out about how dumb you felt, and have someone reassure you that forgetting about your first time with your boyfriend wasn't the end of the world, before having that conversation with Taehyung.

And you also knew how you were gonna accomplish that.

You needed your best friend.

You’d already pounded on the door like crazy twice by the time you first heard movement from inside. What the hell was Namjoon busy with now? Hadn't he called Jungkook up just a while earlier, causing the boy to wake you up?

It was one o'clock on a Sunday morning, anyway. There was no way someone like Namjoon was busy.

Wait. Hadn’t he been at the party last night, too? You couldn’t really recall, to be honest.

God, what was Hobi serving last night? 

Tapping your feet impatiently, you scratched at your cheek. The water base, super dry moisturiser you’d stolen from your boyfriend’s roommate was definitely not meant to suit your skin type. But you had no choice. You were in a crisis. You had needed to escape the dorm before Taehyung came out of the bathroom, and you couldn’t have exactly walked out with the remnants of last night’s vampire makeup all over your face.

You looked down at your ridiculous attire consisting of the leather shorts you wore last night, topped with a huge, off white sweatshirt you'd found lying over the living room couches. You guessed it was Taehyung's, but you were, embarrassingly, not completely certain and it very well could have been Jungkook's. Either way, it didn't really matter, ’cause, as mentioned before, you were in a freaking crisis. Your feet were wrapped up in the spare pair of bathroom slippers you kept at Tae's.

Exhaling loudly, you pulled up your arm to bang heavily against the damn door, again. "Where the fuck are you, Namjoon? Open up!"

Mere seconds later, grumbles seeped through the door to you, and then it was slowly unbolted.

You were gonna straight up fall into Namjoon and legit beg him to comfort you until your body melted—

"Well, hello there, sexy cheeks! What a pleasant surprise!"

You groaned aloud. Just what you needed to make this morning a bigger headache—your best friend's roadside romeo, can-never-keep-it-in-his-pants, creep of a roommate. "Jackson. Get the fuck out of my w—"

"And, FYI, I was referring to your ass cheeks."

You gritted your teeth. "Where's Joon?"

The cocky guy in front of you shifted to set his hips against the doorjamb. "Sleeping. He came in late, last night. That damned loser was at the party till two am on a Saturday night, and didn’t even bring a girl back home. What a fucking waste."

You squinted at him. "Bullshit. He called Jungkook earlier."

"Yeah, well, he went back to sleep after that. It's Sunday, sexy cheeks, even a nerd like Joon is allowed to sleep in today. He's been working his ass off at the library for a couple nights, anyway."

"Stop stereotyping him." You rolled your eyes. "Will you move?"

Jackson's silver blonde hair moved across his forehead as he tilted his head to look at you with a sly grin. "What if I refuse?"

"I'll stab you and walk over your body."

His eyes momentarily widened, but then he gave a nervous giggle. "O–oh? We won't want that to happen now, would we? Come on in, sexy cheeks!"

"Stop calling me that!" you snapped, walking into the dorm and heading straight towards Namjoon's bedroom.

"What? But that's my pet name for you! I don't wanna call you Angel like the rest of the fucking college!"

"It's just seven guys, Wang, jeez. Also, I actually have a name?" you yelled over your shoulder, fiddling with the awful door knob on Namjoon's bedroom door that was almost always jammed. Like it was right now. Good God!

"Your name? That's so mainstream, babe, have some respect for my vibe, at the very least."

"I'm not your babe!"

"But you could be!"

"I'll slap you, Jackson, shut the—" you broke off with a grunt as the doorknob finally twisted free. But your relief had a super short life, because then you had to nearly cause your shoulder to rupture when you tried to get the door to budge. "Why does this idiot not complain about getting this shitty fucking door changed? He'll get stuck in there someday and die, I'm telling you."

"Whoa. You're contemplating way too many murders for a Sunday morning, sexy cheeks. All okay?"

You shot him a glare over your shoulder. "You want me to actually commit one of them?"

Jackson's eyes widened and he slowly retracted his steps to the kitchen, where he presumably was before he came to open the door, given the apron he'd tied over his muscle tee and the random patches of white powder that covered his exposed upper arms. You rolled your eyes once again, and gave a particularly hard push to the door, making yourself stumble in as the door suddenly opened.

Namjoon stood on the other side, though, eyes barely open and silver blonde hair mussed. 

He was shirtless, in the process of trying to unwind a twisted up t-shirt. "Whoa, whoa—hol' up—when did I say you could come in?"

You paused. Your eyebrows lowered. Your eyes narrowed. The audacity?!

"I've seen you pantless, Namjoon," you deadpanned. 

"Wha—is that even a word—"

"Dude, I've seen your penis when it wasn't as big as my pinky toe!"

"Okay, hang on now, it's got to be at least the pinky finger—"

"We were four. It was the pinky toe." You exhaled when Namjoon gave up and went back to getting into a t-shirt over his plaid shorts. "Are you not looking at me, right now? Do you not see what kind of a wreck I am? What sort of a best friend are you?"

"Uh, a sleep deprived one? And, for the record, I actually am not looking at you, 'cause my eyes aren't exactly open and functioning at the moment, anyway."

You shot him a glare, but then exhaled and slumped down on his bed with your shoulders drooped. "I fucked up, Joonie."

Namjoon stopped in the process of blindly hunting for his glasses in the top drawer of his nightstand. He looked at you, complete with his swollen ass eyes and bee stung lips. You would have laughed if your own tragedy wasn't laughable in itself.

"Stop gawking!"

Namjoon shut his mouth and straightened up. "I, uh… You fucked up? Kinda hard to swallow. You're an inspiration to everyone, babe. Angel never fucks up."

You groaned a little upon hearing the wretched "pet name" tumble so smoothly from your best friend's lips. "Angel? Really, Joon?"

Namjoon shrugged, standing on his toes and extending his arms above his head in a full body stretch before he settled on the twin bed next to you. "I've got to, hun. You know how Jin hyung gets when he hears any of us call you anything but Angel."

"He's not here right now, though, is he?"

"Well, I'm trying to practice." He shrugged a shoulder. "So, are you here to pointlessly argue with me, or are you here to discuss how, exactly, did you fuck up? You were with Tae last night from what I gathered out of Jungkook's flustered half-sentences. Did something happen between you guys?"

"Yes?" You grimaced. And then you thickly swallowed. "I… I had sex with Taehyung.”

You looked at him when Namjoon had been silent for too long. He was blinking at you. "I don't see any fucking up happening, Angel, only fucking Tae."

Oh, how you'd slap him into the next galaxy if you had the energy at the moment. "Kim Namjoon, I swear to God—"

"Okay, okay, sorry. So. How does having sex with your boyfriend equate to fucking up? What'd I miss?"

You sighed. "I was completely hammered, and don't remember a single thing."

Namjoon's eyebrows rose very slowly. "Wait…what?"

You frowned. "Don't make me repeat it, Joon."

"I'm not, girl, but. Just. I—I don't seem to comprehend."

"I had sex with him for the first fucking time, Namjoon, and I don't remember a single detail! You know, I wanted to know how it all went down, how intense, sexy and gorgeous he looked on top of me. I wanted to save it to my memory. If he was on top. Otherwise, what he looked like when desperate and begging below me."

"Wait—"

"But I remember nothing! I'm so embarrassed, Joon! Maybe he put those gorgeous ass fingers of his to good use. I bet he did!"

"Hey—"

"I don't even know if he ate me out or if I sucked him off, because I would have loved to, before we—"

"Holy fuck, stop! I don’t wanna hear that, gross!" Namjoon pressed both his palms against his ears, his face pulled into an expression of utter disgust. His mouth opened, probably to give you a piece of scolding, but then his gaze dropped to your exposed collarbones and his eyebrows raised. He removed his hands with wide eyes. "Now, I don’t know about those dirty freaking details, and I don’t want to—but I can guess that your night was definitely passionate. Maybe a bit rough."

You frowned, following his line of sight—

And then sprung to your feet with a loud gasp. "Holy fucking shit! What the hell—"

"Whoa—"

You gripped the neckline of the hoodie and tugged it away from your chest. "He left bruises, Joon, these aren't just bites!"

"Wait, wait—"

"God damn—" You struggled to wrestle the hoodie off your body.

"No—"

"I need to fucking see, Joon—"

"But I don't!" Namjoon squeaked. 

You managed to remove the hoodie completely, your hands busy patting around your boobs to feel for bruises. You looked up at your best friend to find him turned away with both his palms pressed up against his eyes.

It took you a moment to realise that he was throwing a fit about you being topless in front of him. You exhaled. "Must I remind you that you've seen me pantless, too, Joon?"

"We were kids! And now we're not! I don't wanna pop a boner for my childhood best friend that I've shared poops with!"

You grimaced. "You won't, Joon. It's as you said—we've shared poops. It's physically impossible for us to get turned on by each other."

"I'm still a straight guy, though, and boobs are boobs."

You clicked your tongue, choosing to walk into his bathroom to, partially, save him from dying out of panic, but mostly analyse your upper body in the mirror. 

You hummed to yourself when you found a blossoming patch of pink right under your left boob, and an almost navy spot above your right nipple.

You fought a whimper of despair. Sex with Taehyung seemed like something that’d get you wet by memories alone. But you'd already missed your first chance to make them.

You grumpily stomped back to Namjoon's bed and collected the hoodie you'd tossed on it. Pulling it over, you smacked a turned away Namjoon upside his head. "I'm dressed, loser."

"Not wanting to see your boobs makes me a loser?"

"Making a big fucking deal out of it while I'm stuck in a very embarrassing and kind of an impossible situation does!"

“Oh my God, fine! Let’s just talk about that stupid, overthinking brain of yours.”

Your mouth falls open. “The fuck? I’m not overthinking, Joon, for the love of—”

“Okay! Just—stop with all the cursing, you sound like Yoongi hyung!” Namjoon pinched the bridge of his nose. “Let’s get the basics down, then. Observe, analyse and calculate. You’ll tell me about how you feel in certain...areas of your body, and then we’ll conclude if any sex even actually happened or if you’re fussing over nothing. ’Kay?”

You dumbly blinked. If any sex even actually happened? You didn’t need any testing for that, Taehyung’s face had been more than enough to tell you. “No?” you sneered at Namjoon. “I know it happened. I need to know how to recall the details. Do you know, like, some brain exercise or something? Like, running a mental disk defragmenter of sorts?”

Namjoon sighed. “Listen—”

“Also, can you please dye your hair and stop twinning with the asshole next door? I feel like I’m talking to him and it makes me wanna puke.”

Namjoon sighed again. “He’s gonna dye his hair to match mine like he always does, it’s pointless.”

“Then shave it off.”

“Ouch, woman.”

“What?” You scowled at him, rummaging through his wardrobe to try and make yourself slightly more presentable. “And get ready. We’re gonna go get some breakfast. Greasy and cheesy. And you’re gonna tell me what to do. And I’m calling Munchkin to join us.”

As you carried a pair of sweatpants into the bathroom, you heard your best friend murmur something like, “this is gonna be a long day.”

Taehyung sat sprawled all over the living room couch, barely looking up when Jungkook's room's door opened. His eyes kept digging holes into your phone that you'd left behind when you made your—very obviously hurried—exit while he was in the shower. Why, though?

Taehyung was fucking confuddled.

"Oh, finally!" Jungkook's surprised voice floated over to him moments before the boy himself rounded the couch to look down at him, entering his peripheral vision with a water bottle in hands. "Where's noona? Tell her to call Namjoon hyung, he rang me up…worrying…about her…um. Hyung? You okay?"

Taehyung blinked, raising his brows as he hummed in question, refocusing his gaze on the younger boy. "What?"

"Did you, uh, hear anything I said?" Jungkook looked at him cautiously, taking wary sips of water.

"Yeah, I heard." Taehyung looked down at his hands. "She's not here, she left."

"Left? On her own? You didn’t drop her off?" Jungkook sounded innocently curious. He chuckled. "You still hungover, or what?"

Taehyung sighed. "Well, no. But she didn't ask me to drop her. Didn't even tell me she was leaving. Also left her phone behind, for some reason."

"Maybe she was in a hurry to get away from you after last night?" Jungkook's eyes were wide in alarm even before Taehyung shot him a glare. "Sorry, I didn't… Um. That was a stupid joke, I don’t even know why I said that when I don't even know anything. Um. Sorry."

"No, you're probably right," Taehyung regretfully mumbled, raking a hand through his hair. "She was gone within five minutes."

"And is that why she stole my hoodie, too?"

Taehyung's head snapped up, again. What did he mean by that? He found Jungkook frowning at one of the armrests of the couch. "The fuck did you say?"

Jungkook's big, innocent eyes looked at him in panic. "I—I mean, I left it here after I spilt ketchup on it! Remember yesterday's lunch burgers? And now it's…well. Not here."

Taehyung rolled his eyes, secretly exhaling in relief, while at the same time annoyed at himself for thinking stupid shit. And also at Jungkook for making him think it. "The hell, Kook? How does that mean she took it?"

Jungkook squinted at him. "Okay, so then did you take it? Because I sure as heck didn't touch it, hyung."

Taehyung stilled, realising that the boy was probably right, because the top you'd worn last night was still lying on his bedroom floor. He bit his lip. Had you actually been in such a hurry to get away? Get away from him?

Did you…hate him for last night? But you'd very clearly reassured him that you wanted it and were ready and you looked actually excited about it. 

You’d looked really excited about it.

But maybe you were too sloshed to think then, but were trying to avoid him with your mind sober. Maybe you regretted agreeing.

Oh no. Oh no.

"We were drunk off our asses, last night," he tried to fruitlessly dissuade Jungkook, his voice coming out tight. Because what did it even matter if you'd already changed your mind? "Maybe your drunk ass used it to clean up your whizz and then threw it out your window and forgot?"

Jungkook's gaze turned even more speculative. 

Taehyung looked away, eyes landing back on your phone. Distress gripped him.

"Um."

Taehyung rolled his eyes. "Say it."

Jungkook cleared his throat, awkwardly scratching the back of his head when Taehyung looked up to meet his shifty eyes. "Did you, uh. Did you and noona have a fight?"

Taehyung slunk lower in his place. "No, but we would now."

Jungkook cleared his throat in response before soundly gulping down water.

Taehyung almost laughed at his discomfort. The younger probably felt Taehyung needed some sort of counseling or suggestions, but he really didn't. And it wasn't just because he and Jungkook were not the best of friends despite being roommates for nearly a year now and part of the same group of friends for nearly six. No, he actually did not want it because that would make him worry that much more. He'd rather talk to you—apologize to you and try to make you understand as much as he'd be able to—whenever you decided to contact him.

Not that Jungkook would be good at consoling him, either way—the boy was horrible with words and had zero tact. His world revolved around gaming and studying music and minimal human interaction, a complete contrast to everything Taehyung was. Which was somewhat of a reason why they worked out so well as roommates.

"Uh…we…um. Nevermind." Jungkook turned to leave.

Taehyung mustered a chuckle. "Say it, Kook." 

"Do you wanna go to Jin hyung's?" he spoke in a single breath.

Jin—the oldest in their group of friends and also the one Taehyung was the closest to—lived in a four bedroom apartment shared by Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin, and often, Jin's girlfriend, too, which was owned by a family member of Hoseok's. Namjoon, your best friend and the final member of the group, lived in a dorm on the other side of the campus, similar to Taehyung's own, with a school friend of his.

Now. Jungkook, being the youngest of the entire lot, was extremely insecure and conscious of himself around Jin. And so, despite nearly licking the very ground Yoongi walked on due to the guy's musical prowess that Jungkook was a fan of, the younger boy always tried to avoid visiting the house if not for extreme case scenarios when the entire group gathered there for activities that he was not allowed to skip. He usually just called Yoongi over.

And he was suggesting they visit? This had to have taken some guts.

Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him. "You wanna go to that house?"

"Well, not really." Jungkook's cheeks tinged pink. "But you look like you could use Jin hyung's advice and stuff. He also, um, makes yummy hot chocolate. Jimin hyung and Hobi hyung could cheer you up, and. Um. Yoongi hyung could help me with my…semester project?"

"And here I thought you were being thoughtful!" Taehyung let out a laugh. “You just want Yoongi hyung’s help, you selfish brat.”

Jungkook ducked his head. “A little bit of both?” He clicked his tongue, whining. "Come on, hyung, I'm trying here!"

"I know, I know." Taehyung rolled his eyes but nodded, ending Jungkook's misery.

He eyed your phone and released a shaking, nervous breath. 

“Well, I'm sort of driving myself nuts by sitting here. Let’s just go.”

“This is a disaster.”

You thumped your head against the table, groaning. “Gee, thanks, babe. Makes me feel so much better. I should’ve just gone back to the dorm. Wendy would’ve given me ice cream, at least.”

Your other only-best-friend-in-this-world—other than Namjoon, that is—rolled her mascara laden eyes. “It’s not my duty to make you feel better. I’m here to show you the mirror and be honest, not give you ice cream and kiss your boo-boos like your pussy roommate. That’s not helping. That’s ignoring the problem.”

“Fair point.” You sat up and looked down in your lap. “So. Do you honestly think I’m doomed?”

“I honestly think you’re stupid.”

You shot a glare at her.

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing! You yourself said you both had your lower regions covered, right?” At your nod, she clicked her tongue. “So you’re not even sure if you had sex, in the first place. And even if you did, so what? He’s your freaking boyfriend, bitch! Grab him and do the do whenever!”

“Will you tone it down?” 

You jumped. And then scoffed when Namjoon settled on the empty chair on your other side, putting the tray of your frothing, steaming beverages down between you three.

"Tell me why you nicknamed this one munchkin and not guerrilla, again?" Namjoon grumbled, scowling at your girl best friend. "She's got their lung capacity."

"Because she's got munchkin legs," you mumbled, hurriedly bringing the styrofoam cup to your mouth to taste nirvana. “Ah, this is so good! And she walks super slow, like a freakin’ munchkin.”

"Oh, so that's also an insult?" Namjoon looked at your best friend with gleaming eyes. "I thought it was a pet name!"

Her eyes narrowed at Namjoon for a second, before her expressions dropped into a lascivious smile. "You thought it was cute, didn't you?" she dramatically batted her lashes, leaning closer to Namjoon, pushing her voluminous chest out. “You think I’m cute too, dontcha, Joon bug?”

Namjoon, immune to her dramatic, completely unnecessary seduction, blew a raspberry in her face. 

“Ew, you animal!” she shrieked, flinching away as droplets of spit rained on her face. “Gross!”

“You asked for it,” Namjoon deadpanned, sipping from his cup. 

“Guys,” you began. “Can we please talk about what I should do?”

“Uh, can I please also mention what you should not have done?” Munchkin squinted at you. At your noncommittal shrug, her expressions morphed into a sharp glare. “Sneak out. I mean, he’s your damn boyfriend of nearly quarter of a year, babe! Why the hell would you want to confide in Captain Dumbass, over here, and not him?”

“My IQ’s greater than you, but other than that—valid point, dude.” Namjoon turned to stare you down. “When it all winds down, and you end up sorting it out, he’s still gonna be hurt that you ran away, man.”

You bit your lip. You hadn’t thought of it that way. “I forgot my phone at his place, too, so I couldn’t even text him.”

This time Munchkin turned her horrified gaze at Namjoon, and Namjoon at you. “What?” he squeaked. “You haven’t even texted him this entire time? Why didn’t you ask for my phone?”

“It’s almost three,” Munchkin mumbled. “He’s gonna be so pissed.” Her eyes suddenly turned wicked. “Imagine the angry sex.”

You snorted, bitterly. “How? I got fucking amnesia after our first time together, remember? I don’t even know what to imagine.”

Your best friends groaned in unison.

The second Hoseok invited them in, Jungkook went off like an arrow towards the direction of Yoongi's room.

Taehyung gave a dry chuckle, raising his eyebrows at Hoseok’s puffy eyes as he waved his hand before the guy’s face in greeting. “Good morning, hyung!” he said with fake cheeriness to grate on the elder’s nerves. 

Hoseok gave him the most venomous scowl Taehyung had ever seen on the guy’s face and walked away.

“He was cleaning up till six am and then Jin hyung woke him up at nine to go grocery shopping!” Jimin called from his slump on the couch, past the entry hall. “Poor guy didn’t even get to get his dick wet in his own party.”

“Of course you’d mention that,” Taheyung snorted, moving to join Jimin in what seemed like a Netflix marathon. “What’s this?” He nodded towards the 50-inch.

“Pretty Little Liars,” Jimin mumbled, lifting his feet enough to make room for Taehyung and then rested them back in his lap. “It’s a story of some girls. Who lie. Because that is all that girls fucking do, apparently.”

Taehyung, despite his mental disposition, found himself snorting in amusement for the second time. “Where’s Jin hyung?”

“Dropping noona off at Jackson’s. They’re in a fight, so don’t ask him about her.” Jimin raised a brow. “All okay?”

“They're fighting? How're you handling it?" Taehyung teased, well aware of Jimin's fear of conflicts between the group's oldest couple, and got a glare back. "And, not all's okay. Kinda had a shitty night.”

“Could not have been shittier than mine. You came in with your babe, made out in every corner of the house, held her when she did a keg stand, leftmaking out—what could go wrong?”

Taehyung grimaced but didn’t protest. “When did Jin hyung leave? I didn’t see him on my way over. Why’s Honey noona even friends with that pretentious jackass Jackson, nobody likes him,” he chose to comment on Jin’s girlfriend’s questionable life choices, instead.

“Nobody but Namjoon. Don’t forget they live together. And he and noona are family friends, you know that.” Jimin frowned. “Why’re you so eager to see Jin hyung? He didn’t really say when he’d get back. Maybe he and Honey noona are…making-up. If you know what I mean. I sincerely hope they are,” he added with a despaired stare skywards as if tossing a prayer up to God.

“Shut up, pervert. I'll just text him.” Taehyung waved a dismissive hand, pulling out his phone.

Jimin cleared his throat. “At least ask me why my night was shittier, you ass.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, shooting Jimin a flat look. “You didn’t get laid, I already know it.”

“Well, that, yes. But also, the circumstances leading up to me not getting laid? Ugh.” Jimin scrunched his nose. “So there’s this cute, little, busty babe, okay? Shaking her boobs up in my face, and I know she wants to fuck, but. I can see how sloshed she is, so I, you know? Hold back.”

Taehyung raised his eyebrows, still typing away on his phone. “Doubt that.”

“I did, okay? Wait till you hear the rest of it.” Jimin’s head dangled off the armrest, upside down and Taehyung could only see his neck as he spoke. “She comes on too strong, and at one point—I can’t resist. But when she’s on her knees, she’s so confused that I… man, I felt so bad. She was wasted, dude!” Jimin pulled himself back up, nestling his head against the armrest as he frowned at Taehyung. “So I tell her no. She cries. I try to comfort her, but she just keeps sobbing. And then she fucking throws up all over my carpet and—I still fucking try to take care of her. And, you know, after I’ve given her hugs and a water bottle and so much pep talk—her phone rings and she says she has to go. Now, get this.” Jimin sits up, now scowling at Taehyung. “She has a fucking boyfriend.”

Taehyung couldn’t hold back the laughter that burst out of him, his head rolling back against the back of the couch as he held his stomach. Just the one time in his life Jimin tried to be a gentleman, it backfired. But it served Jimin right for trying to get into everyone’s pants. He told the guy as much.

Jimin scoffed. “I don’t try to get into everyone’s pants, dude. I’ve never tried to turn the charm on you, have I?”

“’Cause you know you’d fail.”

“I would not and you better believe that, Kim Taehyung.” Jimin suddenly licked his lips and sat up to get into Taehyung's personal space. “You see these lips? They—”

“Yah, Park Jimin! Get your paws off my dongsaeng!” Jin entered the house with a booming yell.

Taehyung sighed in relief, grateful for more reasons than one. “Morning, hyung!”

“It’s afternoon, brat!”

“I thought he was your dongsaeng?” Jimin mocked. “And for the record, he’s mine, too.”

“I’m barely three months younger, Jimin, fuck off.”

“Tae! Leave this idiot be and go wait in my room. I’ll join you in a bit.”

Taehyung stood up to locate Jin to find the older one heating something up in the microwave, aggressively pushing things around. It was a strange sight. Jin’s temperament was always cooler than a cucumber. And he especially tended to his kitchen appliances and utensils with an impossibly tender hand. He was clearly agitated, completely unlike how he normally was. Was his fight with his girlfriend that bad? 

As if sensing his gaze, Jin looked up, concern shining in his eyes when they met Taehyung’s. Taehyung imagined his own must have reflected it back. “You okay, hyung?”

Jin sighed. “Been better,” he tiredly mumbled, running a hand down his face. “I saw your texts. I gather you haven’t eaten?”

Taehyung nodded, silently, walking around the couch to join the older in the kitchen. Settling on a stool, he observed Jin's furrowed eyebrows and set jaw. Something had to have happened recently, or he'd have noticed something in Jin's behaviour earlier.

“I haven’t eaten either, hyung,” Jimin yelled from the living room, sounding offended instead of whiny or seductive, for once. “This sort of favoritism is too much, even for you.”

Jin narrowed his eyes at Jimin. “You know, every time Honey ignores me, I'm immediately reminded of how you could have taken that blonde to your own room, Park Jimin. So no, the favouritism isn't too much. And for the record, you’re more than capable of feeding yourself. This one? Not so much, right now.”

Taehyung hung his head, curious about what all Jin just said to Jimin, but also immensely floored by Jin’s concern for his own well being. Despite clearly not being in the right state of mind himself, he was still caring for Taehyung. He mentally thanked Jungkook for bringing him here.

Clearing his throat, Taehyung placed his hands on the kitchen counter. “When I didn't see Honey-noona at the party last night, I thought it was work related. You two often skip parties to catch up on your beauty sleep and all that. Is something the matter, hyung?"

Jin extracted some sort of noodles from the microwave and shut his eyes. "She's mad at me."

Taehyung's eyebrows rose. Jin and his girl had been together for over five years, now. They were past the stages of fighting over petty things. It had to be serious. "Oh?"

"And it was triggered by something that idiot did!" Jin finished, pointing an accusatory finger at Jimin.

The latter clicked his tongue. "For the last time, hyung," Jimin called out, sounding exasperated, "she’s mad over something else. The sooner you figure that out instead of blaming me every time you meet her, the faster your fight would be resolved.” He peeked at Jin over the couch's back. "And can you please make a quick work of it? I hate this phase…"

Taehyung’s eyebrows lifted up. Escaping the blame—classic Jimin. “What, exactly, did you do, Jimin? What blonde didn’t you take to your own room?” he asked, repeating Jin’s words from earlier.

“Irrelevant. He’s actually correct,” Jin interrupted, walking out of the kitchen. “You'll understand when I tell you. But right now, let’s talk about your problem. Come on.”

Although Taehyung was both curious and worried about Jin’s fight, he was more downtrodden due to his own situation at the moment, so he decided to follow the older boy upstairs, to Jin's room.

On entering the room, Taehyung slumped into Jin’s armchair while the man himself turned on the lights and made his way towards Taehyung with a water bottle and a huge bowl of reheated chicken noodles in hands.

Taehyung uncapped the bottle as soon as it was handed to him, not realising how badly parched all the worrying had gotten him. 

“I, uh, went to the shop you texted me. Have you guys really talked it through?”

Taehyung’s head snapped up. “What?” he asked, swallowing a huge gulp of water.

Jin cracked a smile for the first time. “One of the thirteen texts you sent me was about this shop, remember? It was on the way, so I dropped by to look around, but I couldn't really choose—”

Taehyung’s phone rang, interrupting Jin. It was Namjoon. They both frowned.

What if the guy was still calling to ask about you, like he did this morning? Taehyung had assumed that you’d have talked to Namjoon, at least. His eyes widened when it hit him — you’d left your phone behind, how would you contact anybody?

He looked at Jin. Jin crossed his arms in front of his chest, gesturing to the phone with his eyes. “Pick it up.”

With sweaty hands, Taehyung picked up. “Hey, Joon hyung.”

Silence. He frowned.

“Hello?”

More silence. And then a hushed, indecipherable whisper sounded in the background which was followed by what sounded like a slap. Taehyung’s breath hitched.

“Angel?”

A sharp intake of breath filtered through the speakers to him. But then nothing else.

“Whe—” He cleared his throat when his voice broke. “Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Tae.” Your voice was light, airy, almost like a whisper, but it managed to weigh down on his heart. “I’m okay.”

Of course, you were. You’d chosen to see Namjoon, apparently. Why wouldn’t you be okay?

“I—I’m sorry for leaving like…that. I hope you didn’t take it the wrong way.”

Taehyung was at a loss. “Wrong way? Angel, I…” He exhaled, shutting his eyes. In what way had he taken it? In what way was he supposed to take it? “Why did you leave, baby?”

No response. Taehyung’s heart seemed to keep on sinking.

“When can I see you again? We need to talk about last night. You know that, right?” He licked his lips and looked up at Jin. At the elder’s nod, he continued, “we need to finalize what we discussed. You get me?”

“I’ll see you tonight, Tae.” Your voice sounded tightly wound with emotions.

Taehyung took that as a good sign. “That’s great. I’ll be…I, uh. Just text me when you get to the dorm. Your phone’s on the coffee table. I’m at Jin hyung’s, I’ll come immediately.”

“Okay, I’ll do that. Um. Tae? I love you.”

Taehyung could breathe again. “I love you, too, Angel. I love you so much.”

He’d barely disconnected the call when Jin grabbed him by the shoulders. “Get some food in you and come with me. I went to the shop, but couldn’t really make the right purchase. You’ll have to do that yourself.”

Taehyung’s eyes widened. “But I already told her to come see me! You nodded!”

Jin rolled his eyes, taking a spoonful of noodles and stuffing them into Taehyung’s mouth that was hung open in surprise. “Because we have plenty of time, genius! It’s three in the afternoon. We’d be able to make it back before six, at any cost. Don’t worry about it.”

Taehyung took the bowl of food from him, his appetite announcing itself as soon as a bite of savoury deliciousness touched his tongue. Stuffing his face, he nodded at his phone. “Could you please put that to charge? It’s almost dead.”

And then he smiled to himself. He was gonna make everything right, tonight.

“I’m pretty sure five o’clock doesn’t count as ‘night’ in any culture across the globe.”

You ignored Munchkin’s sarcastic remark as you stepped out of the car, and gave Namjoon a grateful peck on his cheek. “Thank you for bringing me here, Joon.”

“Great. Ignore me and then cry when there’re consequences.”

Waving a butterfly wave at a fuming Munchkin and a chuckling Namjoon, you stepped into Taehyung’s dorm building. You knew you were early, but your nerves didn’t allow you to sit still at Namjoon’s place. You didn’t dare go back to your own dorm, knowing how chaotic Wendy tended to get and not able to muster the energy you usually needed to deal with her.

Taehyung lived in the larger, spacier and definitely pricier North Dorms. They were more like mini-apartments, with individual rooms and a living room area along with a whole kitchen instead of the tiny kitchenette you had with your own South Dorms. Namjoon lived in the East Dorms, similar in design to these, but in a wackier condition and slightly less pricey.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door. You would take your phone, text Taehyung to inform him of your arrival, have a glass of water, and patiently wait. Jungkook wasn’t much of a talker, anyway, so you’d have some time to yourself before Taehyung for here, which you planned to utilise by giving yourself mental pep talks. 

You were gonna come clean to your boyfriend and tell him that you remembered none of last night, profusely apologise for panicking and running out on him, and then, if the mood allowed for it, request him to give you a refresher that you’d be sure to memorise properly, this time.

The door was opened. Jungkook immediately jumped, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets when he saw you. “Oh, my God!”

You gave him a tight lipped smile. “Hey, Jungkook. May I come in?”

He gaped at you for a few more seconds before shaking his head as if to break his shock induced trance. “Ye—uh. I mean, yes, you could, but hyung’s not home.”

You nodded. “I know.”

Just as you’d made to move ahead, Jungkook stopped you. His eyebrows were arched. “Unless, you don’t wanna see him and are here to grab your things—in which case, I really won’t let you in.”

You frowned. “What? No, I need to get my phone so that—”

“Absolutely not!” Jungkook blocked the door with an arm. “You’ve got to talk to hyung once before making any rash decisions, and I won’t—”

“Wait, what? Rash decisions?”

“—might be a bit young and inexperienced, but I will not be an accomplice in the ploy to get Tae hyung’s heart broken—”

“Heart broken?” You balked at him while Jungkook kept on spewing stuff that made absolutely no sense to you. “Jungkook?”

“—no clue what actually happened, but because you really should’ve stayed to talk instead of running away from hyung—”

“Jungkook!”

“—not been emotional, but this really kind of hurt me, too, and you have no idea how much hyung was—”

“For fucks sake, Jungkook!” You held the guy with both his shoulders, making him immediately shut up. “Are you even listening to me? Stop speaking!” 

He blinked. “Um—”

“Stop!” You held a finger in front of his face. “Zip it up. Zero noise. Absolute silence.”

At his nod, you retracted your hands and pushed past him to enter the dorm. Collapsing onto the couch, you picked up your phone which was kept on the coffee table—just as Tae had told you it would be—and opened your chat box with him.

Tae❤ hey babe, im here ik im a bit early but dw, take your time i will wait i love u 🥺

SENT at 17:03

“I have come to talk to Tae and apologize, Jungkook,” you finally said, turning to face the guy who was still awkwardly standing at the open door. “Now please shut the door and go back to whatever you were doing. I’m gonna be here, waiting till he comes. I’ve texted him.”

Jungkook closed the door, very slowly, still looking at you warily. “You aren’t going to break up with him?”

“What? Of course not! I love him!”

He visibly relaxed, even letting a hint of a smile swim onto his face. “That’s good to hear. I thought I’d messed up.”

You frowned, scrunching your nose up in confusion. “Wait a second, you had messed up? How?”

Releasing an immensely loud sigh, Jungkook walked up to sit next to you on the couch. “Uh…” He bit his lip, fidgeting with his hands. “Well, you all know how horrible I am with words, right? It’s half the reason why I don’t talk much. I get too upfront, accidentally, and it gets horribly worse if I’ve deduced a situation wrongly and spoken about it.”

You gave a small chuckle. Jungkook was adorable, at times, looking way younger than his age. Not that you knew his exact age. You were certain he called you noona just because Taehyung was his hyung, and not because he knew your exact age. You could turn out to be younger than him, and he’d give you the same amount of respect and formality. “You just did that to me, a few minutes back.”

Jungkook shut his eyes with a wince. “Exactly. I did something similar this morning, and said stuff that I had no way of knowing facts about. And…” he trailed off again, this time squinting at your...well, boobs.

You immediately straightened. “Yah! What are you looking at?”

Jungkook looked up with rounded eyes. “That’s my hoodie.”

You looked down at yourself and physically cringed. You were the worst girlfriend in the world to not be able to tell the difference between your boyfriend's hoodies and his roommate’s. “Oh, God. Oh no, I’m so sorry. This is so embarrassing.”

Jungkook gave a small, awkward nod. “It’s fine, you’re okay.”

You shook your head at yourself. “It’s been a horrible day, Kook.”

“I’m gonna have to agree with that."

You both sat in silence for a while, and you recalled how you’d imagined you’d get peace and quiet because Jungkook didn’t talk much. You mentally snorted. The guy hadn’t exchanged as many words with you in eight months, as he did today. 

Your eyes fell onto the TV in front of you. You squinted at the animated, white-ish balloon-ish things.

"Is that Soul?" you speculated.

Jungkook's cheeks and ears pinked. "Um, yes."

You lifted the remote and wordlessly unpaused the movie.

Settling on the carpet on the ground next to the coffee table, Jungkook munched on some nuts as you both watched. 

The movie was good – really good and engaging, so much so that you didn't check your phone for over an hour. When it pinged with a message, you suddenly recalled that Taehyung hadn't responded to your text. Sitting up, you grabbed the device to check.

18:23 Munchkin😾 (1 new message) 

You sighed in disappointment. 

Scrolling past your best friend's inquisitive message, you got to your chat with Taehyung. You frowned. The message hadn't been delivered, yet.

"Want some?"

You looked up with a start to find Jungkook's hand holding the bowl of nuts to you, his head still facing the TV. You cleared your throat. "Um, no, I'm good."

He retracted his hand without a word. "You okay, noona?"

You bit your lip. "Taehyung hasn't received my text, yet."

This time Jungkook twisted his neck to look up at you. The odd angle made it difficult to discern what expressions he held, but knowing him, it was probably surprise—his resident facial expressions, next to only occasional grimaces.

"He said he was at Jin oppa's and would come here as soon as I texted him, but…"

Jungkook hummed, turning back. "He is there, yes. We went together, but I left early because Yoongi hyung had to go to his studio. And I don't like to hangout with anybody else in that house."

You snorted at that, sobering the next second. You exhaled. "I think I should call him."

Jungkook gave a simple nod. You stood up with your phone to your ear. But then you stopped, mid-step. Taehyung's phone was switched off.

This was very unlike Taehyung. 

You pursed your lips in concern. He'd sounded fine—if not more than a little low—when you talked on the phone. He didn't sound angry, that is to say. Did something happen in the meanwhile? You wondered what it could be, because as far as you knew, you hadn't done anything wrong other than running off to Namjoon for help. But it had been nearly three hours since your talk, so you couldn't really be certain about Taehyung’s mood anymore.

You were at a loss. What the hell were you supposed to do? Just stay here and wait? 

But what if Taehyung was really mad for some reason and didn't come at all, and you had to stay the night? You were certain he wouldn't appreciate you staying in his dorm with his male roommate alone, overnight. Taehyung was far from an insecure or controlling boyfriend, but put in his shoes, even you would be irked if he were staying over at your dorm with just Wendy around.

You groaned at your chain of thoughts. What were you even thinking? This was so stupid. He would be here any minute, and this would all come to an end. You really wanted to slap your drunk self for putting you into this mess. Or, you realised, you could slap Hoseok for throwing the stupid party with memory wiping liquor, in the first place.

You sat back down on the couch with a thump. You were being unreasonably paranoid.

You took a few deep breaths, looking from your phone to the TV screen, and then at the back of Jungkook's head. "Jungkook?"

He hummed in response.

"I need some advice."

Jungkook turned to look at you, eyes wide in evident alarm. "No. Please no. I'm horrifyingly bad at that."

You clicked your tongue. "Tae's phone is switched off. He never turns his phone off, Jungkook."

Jungkook looked taken aback as well. He probably knew the fact. "Maybe it got discharged?"

You sighed. "Jin oppa's house has plenty of chargers and charging points."

Jungkook looked uncomfortable at that, fidgeting with his hands as he trained his gaze at your feet. "Um. I… I am not sure what…" he trailed off, biting down on his lip, looking beyond lost. "I don't even know what happened."

You shut your eyes and massaged your forehead with both hands. "What happened is that I got extremely embarrassed about…well, yesterday. Something—something happened which made me too nervous to face Tae. Coming here after so many hours, I thought I was ready to apologise and talk it through, but the longer it's taking him to get there, the more uncertain I'm getting."

You took a breath after you'd poured it all out. Jungkook was the last person you'd expect to understand your situation and give advice. But he prompted you to tell him – and it flowed out.

You shut your eyes tighter.

"If—if you think you're not ready," Jungkook suddenly began after a heavy silence of a few extended seconds, "you can step back and take a breather. Take some time to yourself, analyse and then build up the courage. In my experience, saying the wrong words can be worse than keeping mum." 

His words gave you a pause. Namjoon and Munchkin's words came back to you. Taehyung was your boyfriend—you could talk to him, whenever. Why were you making such a big deal out of it? Well maybe because you didn't want the situation to deteriorate further. Jungkook was right. You should rethink your decision of coming clean to Taehyung, lest you create more problems between the two of you by upsetting him.

"Does… does any of that help?" Jungkook hesitantly asked you.

You gave him a big smile "I think it does."

As if on cue, the sound of a key turning in the door reached you. Jungkook's head whipped around to look at it.

You breathed in, preparing yourself.

“Why’s your phone turned off, hyung?” Jungkook accosted him at the door.

You saw your boyfriend over Jungkook’s shoulder. He was frowning, and was seemingly yet to notice you. “My phone?” He brushed a hand over his trousers’ pockets, dark, curly bangs brushing his eyelids as his head bent. You bit your lip. He was irresistibly handsome without even trying. “Oh fuck,” Taehyung enunciated, looking up at Jungkook very slowly. “I left it at Jin hyung’s. Did you say it was off?”

Taehyung stepped into the dorm, wide eyes immediately colliding with yours. “Um. Hey,” you squeaked, standing up.

“H—hi,” Taehyung stumbled on his words, eyes roving first on your face and then the rest of you. He momentarily frowned, probably recognizing Jungkook’s hoodie on you, and then met your eyes with a hesitant expression on his face. “How—how long were you waiting?”

You bit your lip. He seemed to be feeling guilty already. You reckoned it would be better to not add onto it. “Not long,” you simply responded.

Taehyung took baby steps towards you, while Jungkook glided around the place, shutting the door, turning the TV off, and then exited to his own room. You looked down at your feet, only looking back up when Taehyung’s own entered your vision. “Angel,” he whispered, his breath fanning your face. His deep brown eyes looked like pools of dark chocolate. “What happened?”

The simple question made tears prickle the back of your eyes. 

It was always so simple with Taehyung. He was never pretentious, never impatient, never expected the world out of you—and yet you did not share things with him like he deserved. Why did you always have to be so self conscious?

Something must have shown on your face, because the next second had Taehyung frowning and stepping forth to cup your face in both his palms.

“Hey, hey, what is it?” he murmured very softly, swiping his thumbs at your cheeks to wipe off the wetness trickling down your eyes. “Shh, it’s okay, come on,” he soothingly whispered before collecting you in his arms.

You rested your forehead on his collarbones, pulling your lower lip in to grab a hold of your emotions as you wound both your arms around his shoulders. “I love you so much, Tae,” you mumbled into his skin.

He inhaled and then exhaled, almost as if in relief. “I love you too, baby. I love you too,” he whispered into your hair, pressing a soft kiss into the crown of your head.

Pulling away, Taehyung held you by your upper arms and bent to peer into your eyes. His olive green Cuban collar shirt swayed with his movement, giving you a delicious glimpse of his toned chest. Realising how highly inappropriate it was to be thinking lascivious thoughts with tears in your eyes—when your boyfriend was trying to comfort you—you swallowed and focussed back on his eyes. 

“Now, tell me. What happened this morning?” Taehyung questioned you with a boundless softness in his gaze.

You cleared your throat. "Can we – can we move this to your room?"

Taehyung nodded, readily, wrapping his elegant fingers around your elbows to lead the two of you into his room. 

As you settled on the edge of his bed, your eyes caught your top from last night's outfit placed neatly folded at the top of Taehyung's dresser. You pursed your lips.

“So.” Taehyung sat down next to you on the bed, bumping his shoulders into yours.

You licked your lips, gathering courage. “I…this is gonna sound bad, babe, and, um, insulting even, but…” You turned to meet his eyes, desperately searching for any recognition. But you were met with cluelessness, and a subtle hint of apprehension. You sighed. “I — I had too much to drink last night, Tae.”

You felt him stiffen. His eyes gave away nothing. You waited for a couple heartbeats, expecting some indication that he was catching onto what you were trying to imply. Taehyung said nothing, though, and his face remained unmoving.

You looked down at your lap, wringing your fingers together. “I don’t know if I had too much, or if the combination made it so, but… I don’t—” You cleared your throat when your voice broke, chancing a glance at your boyfriend who was still as a statue. “I don’t remember a thing from last night. It’s all…a blur.”

Taehyung seemed to have stopped breathing, too, he’d gone so still. Very anxiously, you lifted your gaze to look at him.

You almost wished you hadn't, though. He looked shattered. Crushing disappointment was all over his face, hitting you like a lead arrow, and he wasn’t even looking at you. 

You felt like running away, your cheeks and ears burning in embarrassment. You tried to put yourself in Taehyung’s spot, employing your trusted tactic to discern how someone else must be feeling, but your head was too fuzzy with the unease you felt. You were mortified.

Taking a staggered breath in, you stood up on shaky legs. “I’m — I’m sorry, Tae,” you uttered, unsure if you were heard. “I really wish—”

“It’s fine, it’s okay. I understand,” Taehyung cut you off, suddenly, obviously trying to save face given the tight smile he had pulled up to flash at you beneath his saddened eyes. “It’s okay.”

You swallowed, shaking your head very slowly. “No,” you said. “It’s not okay, Tae. I — I wanted to make it memorable, too. Cherish the memories for life, however cliché might that sound. But I… I really blanked out, Tae.”

Taehyung’s brows got a slight crease in them by the time you were finished. But his eyes—those damned pools of love that you’d gotten so used to seeing boundless love in—looked strangely defeated. It almost felt like you’d done more than not remember a night of sex. 

But then you reprimanded yourself by underlining how it wasn’t just any night of sex—it had been the first time you and the love of your life became one. Knowing how sentimental Taehyung was, it had to have hurt him tremendously. This time you were very easily able to put yourself in his place and realise that you’d be pretty pissed if he had no recollection of something precious to you. You took a step away, suddenly overwhelmed by immense guilt. 

“Did nothing come back to you?” Taehyung asked, lips pouted and eyes rounded. “After so many hours, too?”

You shook your head, slowly. “I really tried, baby.”

Taehyung looked unconvinced, taking you by surprise. 

He didn’t, by any means, think that you were lying about it, did he? You wouldn’t put it past your boyfriend’s overthinking brain.

“I think I — I need a break,” you blurted out, watching in horror how any remainder of color left Taehyung’s face. Jungkook’s words came back to you: saying the wrong words can be worse than keeping mum.

“A break?” Taehyung gawked at you.

You quickly shook your head. “A breather. Space. Some — some time to get over my embarrassment.”

Taehyung looked confused, but you couldn’t bear to wait and extend this conversation. Twisting in place, you rushed out of there, on your way to your own dorm, this time. 

Taehyung sipped on Hoseok’s cheap beer, unseeing gaze stuck on the TV as some football match played on the screen. Next to him, Seokjin and Hoseok sat with their own bottles in hand. They were, decidedly, much more aware of the game than he was. 

“Gah! That was a red card, come on!” Hoseok suddenly exclaimed at the referee.

Seokjin snorted. “This referee is blind.”

“Or sold,” Hoseok grumbled.

Taehyung blinked, unable to focus on the game however hard he stared. Shaking his head, he took another gulp of the bitter liquid.

His soul had almost left his body when you'd said you needed a break. You wanting to be away from him after last night would have been his biggest nightmare come true.

But then you asked for space. To get over your embarrassment.

Why were you embarrassed? He couldn't, for the life of him, decipher that one. Did you really regret last night that bad? Had you changed your mind? Or was it something else altogether?

But what the hell could it even be, then?

Hoseok cleared his throat, drawing Taehyung's attention to the redhead. "You could try out a new painting, Tae. It'd be a nice outlet, and, y'know? They say you create your finest art when you got a heavy heart."

"Pretty sure that's not what they say, Hobi," Seokjin deadpanned.

"Something along those lines, hyung, catch my drift." Hoseok scowled at Seokjin. “Art’s supposed to take your mind off stuff, right?”

Taehyung exhaled, proceeding to chug down the rest of the drink in his bottle. "I can't," he murmured. "Angel is…" He stopped, shut his eyes and exhaled. "She's been my biggest muse ever since I met her, hyung. I can't paint when we're fighting."

Seokjin noisily exhaled, puffing his nostrils up. "Then maybe you could—ah, I don't know, invest in a different sort of art?"

Taehyung frowned at the guy in confusion. Hoseok, though, seemed to have gotten onto something. His head of flaming red hair bobbed erratically. "Yes, yes! Great idea, hyung! You should come with me to the rehearsal hall for some time, Tae. It's been ages since you've been there. It'd be a good distraction, take your mind off all this disappointment and hurt."

Taehyung clicked his tongue. "I'm not disappointed. I'm—I'm just… just hurt."

Seokjin sighed. "You mean you aren't even the slightest bit irked that she used the excuse of missing memory to evade your…well. You know." He gesticulated with a hand around the other. "You are, aren't you?"

"Not really." Taehyung frowned and shook his head. "I mean, well. yes. Of course, I would've preferred if she didn't try to evade it and just talked to me. But maybe she really can't recall anything, I'm not entirely sure. I mean, what's the difference, either way? It all boils down to the fact that she has backed off. And that is what's…" He broke off, taking in a shaky inhale. "What's hurting," he finished on an exhale.

They all went silent for a while. Seokjn hummed. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. You love dance and you love Hobi’s routines, so… it could be therapeutic to you. But don’t force yourself, we’ll think of something else.” 

Taehyung exhaled, swiping a hand down his face. He really did love Hobi’s routines and it really had been ages since he’d been to the rehearsal hall. “No. No, I want to. I’ll join you tomorrow, Hobi hyung.” He passed the man a half smile, and got a full back. He huffed out a breath. “You guys wanna crack open something stronger than this?” he asked the two older guys, gesturing to his empty beer bottle.

Seokjin raised his hands in surrender. "I've got work, tomorrow."

But Hobi, the resident booze-man, grinned like a cheshire cat.

Your day had been hell, and your night was going to be, too.

After ignoring your calls for an hour, your best friends had texted you back telling you they were too busy to take your calls. They would have known, of course, what you’d talk about and prioritized their personal businesses above it.

You weren’t bitter about it, or anything…

Okay, you were. You were really really bitter.

Because Munchkin was at a party, trying to rope in some guy she’d had her sights on for a while. Needless to say, she was gonna be busy for the night. And Namjoon was working on some project for extra credits for his class tomorrow.

Your relationship being at the verge of splintering was, apparently, less important than a coveted hookup and extra fucking credits.

Your mother had sent you her customary checking in texts asking about your well being, and you'd made a whole hypothetical situation to ask her if temporary amnesia could be cured with some brain exercise.

Did you drink too much at that party you were going to? Are you okay?

You huffed a breath out, irritated but at the same time feeling really loved at your mother's accurate deduction of the situation. You texted her you were okay, she asked about Taehyung's well being, you said he was okay, too, and at the end she suggested you see a doctor if this felt too uneasy.

You thought about it for a while, but then realised a doctor wouldn't take you seriously. 

yeah right, mom! if docs started treating everyone with temporary amnesia on campus, he'd be dealing with nearly the entire student population

The conversation with your mother certainly failed to help in any way. You had no solution at your hands and your mind wasn't taken off it, too.

You stress-ate a pint of choco-chip icecream for dinner and watched reruns of Victorious on your laptop. You cried when Beck and Jade broke up. And then you slept with your laptop still running the show in the background.

You had a fitful night’s sleep, riddled with horrible nightmares switching between you begging Taehyung to tell you what you’d forgotten but him just crying because he was so hurt that you forgot in the first place, and Taehyung never wanting to talk to you again because he thought you were lying about forgetting your special night.

You finally sat up in your bed at close to six am. Having had enough with the mess in your head, you decided to beg your best friends to help you out, one more time.

Seventeen minutes past six of the morning saw you on a conference call with Namjoon and Munchkin.

“I went to bed at four, bitch, have some mercy—”

“And I didn’t sleep at all, I’ve been working on the project the whole night, and—”

“Guys!” you wailed. “Please help me out here! I am at my wit’s end, I can’t eat, can’t sleep, and I don’t know who else to talk to! I swear if I did, I would not be bothering you two like this!” You exhaled when they’d both quieted down. “Not that you’ve been much help, so far,” you added under your breath.

“I did not sign up for being insulted first thing in the morning!” Munchkin protested. “And Joon, what the hell is up with all your late night working sessions, lately? Don’t you get enough time during the day?”

The comment had you momentarily distracted from your own issue as you furrowed your brows. “Good point. He’s been spending more odd hours than usual at the library, too,” you said, recalling how Jackson had told you about Namjoon’s frequent nightly visits to the library.

“What? I—I do work during the day, guys,” Namjoon jumped to his defense, “but… the work’s a lot, okay? Also, almost the entirety of my Sunday went into comforting Angel. Being an economics major just eats up your time, okay? And—and I really need a couple extra credits—”

“Stop, you’re rambling,” Munchkin interrupted, sounding bored.

“And obviously lying,” you added with a shrug, even though they couldn’t see it.

“What? What? I’m not—”

“Honestly, Joon, nobody has time for your theatrics, okay? If you’re sneaking around with a girl—although I’m willing to bet my nail extensions you’re not—it’s cool. Do whatever,” Munchkin sounded half asleep, but what she said rang true with you, too.

“Absolutely. We won’t pry, and won’t judge.”

“It’s not a girl, guys, come on—”

“Already bet on it.”

“You mean it is something, then?” You squinted.

“Wait, how did this conversation go from Angel’s crisis call to a semi-intervention on me?” Namjoon protested, bringing you back to the ground.

You groaned. “Oh, yes. No, sorry, we don’t have time for diversions, right now. Help me resolve my crisis first.”

Munchkin clicked her tongue. “I still really fail to see what the big deal is? So drinking gave you amnesia like a total weirdo. Yeah, okay, it kinda sucks, but it’s not the end of the world! You two love each other! Move past this! Make new freaking memories, and get over it!”

You bit down on your lip. “I… I would have done that, eventually, but… you guys don’t know what happened last night.”

“Yeah, we do. Sort of. You left thirty seven messages in the groupchat, so we get the gist,” Namjoon reminded you.

“Okay, so you do know. So. Guys, it’s become a big deal because Taehyung has made it into one. His behaviour last night…” and you launched into a retelling of your whole encounter with Taehyung at his dorm.

For the better part of an hour, your dear best friends listened to you go on about how Taehyung seemed heartbroken because of your missing memory, and how you felt he didn’t even fully believe you when you said you didn’t remember anything. You also brought up, time and again, how this one incident was gonna end your relationship. 

“Okay, okay, hold on!” Namjoon finally interrupted your rampage. “This is all rubbish!”

You stuck your bottom lip out, turning to your side in your bed. Wendy had been out the entire night, last night. You wondered what she was up to because she wasn't the type to sleep around or go to parties. Maybe she had a sleepover with some of her girlfriends. You honestly couldn’t strain your mind over this on top of everything else, so you shut your eyes. 

“Firstly, Taehyung isn’t gonna break up with you because he suspects you’re lying about the memory loss. That’s just stupid and unlike him, and I’ve known him longer than you,” Namjoon continued. “Also, I still think the key to this whole issue is communicating. You need to open your mouth and ask the guy what happened last night. Don’t be demotivated by his saddened face, push through.”

“But… you know, Jungkook said to me that sometimes saying the wrong words can be worse than keeping mum. And I literally said the absolutely worst combination of words I could to Tae, last night! Almost made him think I was trying to break up with him. How shitty—”

“I bet he’s not even thinking about it right now. I bet my hair extensions on it,” Munchkin interrupted with a snort. “He’s probably sleeping off another hangover. Boys always end up drowning the conflicts in their lives in alcohol.”

You rolled your eyes. “As opposed to what you do? And stop betting your extensions on things.”

“But, she’s kinda not wrong, Angel,” Namjoon intervened, “you’re definitely overreacting a bit. Jungkook has hardly ever known what he’s talking about, all through his life. You’re letting his words affect you? All you can do, right now, is have a decent conversation with Tae where you hold his hand, look into his eyes and ask him to tell you what exactly happened last night.” He paused. “The night before, now, I guess, ’cause it’s morning…”

You sighed, opening your eyes to blink at Wendy’s empty bed. “I don’t know, guys… He looks so freaking shattered and disappointed every time I try to talk to him, it just feels like a slap to the face.”

“Ugh, stop thinking so much about everything,” Munchkin groaned. “And if talking to him seems like such a humongous challenge, then talk to someone you know he would have confided in.”

You sat up at that, eyes open wide. “Jin! Jin oppa! Tae shares everything with him, and he even went straight to his place after I left his dorm, too! He would know everything.”

“Now, now,” Namjoon began with a nervous lilt, “I don’t think it’s such a great idea to ask around when you could ask—”

“Shut up, Namjoon, it’s a fantastic fucking idea,” Munchkin cut him off.

“Yes. Yes, it’s a fantastic idea!” you exclaimed, checking the time. “It’s past eight, he would’ve left for the restaurant. I can make it after my Scriptwriting class and catch him during his lunch hour! Thank you, guys, thank you, so much!”

“Great to be of service. Now let me go back to sleep, I’m skipping all my classes today,” Munchkin muttered into the phone.

“For the record, I still don’t think it’s such a great idea—”

“Nobody cares, Namjoon, go back to sleep. You have a boring-as-fuck class in less than two hours.” With that, Munchkin disconnected your three-way call.

You tossed your phone to the side and laid back on your bed. This could actually work out. You could ask Jin to fill you in on what’s been going on in Taehyung’s head, and then go talk to your boyfriend with full preparation.

Noon couldn’t come sooner.

Jin’s face was pretty expressionless when he got into his usual lunch booth and met your eyes instead of his girlfriend’s. He didn’t look surprised, at all. He literally didn’t even blink, just gave you a once over and reached for his bag to fetch his lunch out. That should have been your warning sign, but blinded by your own selfish goal, you missed it.

“Oppa, hello,” you respectfully greeted him, wringing your hands in your lap. “I hope you don't mind me dropping by unannounced, but I wasn’t sure you’d be welcoming if I told you beforehand. You know why.” You looked down at the table, at Jin’s lunch of some salad and a smoothie. “I—I think you do, at least.”

You waited for Jin to say something, but he simply kept chewing. His eyes looked at you so blankly, he almost seemed to be looking through you. This was nothing like the Jin you knew. Either he was in a really disturbed state of mind, or he was really mad at you for what happened between you and Taehyung. 

You suspected it was the latter.

“Um,” you couldn’t find the right words to say. “I—I tried talking to Tae about this, but he gets really upset and unbelieving and I… I lose courage.” You swallowed. You were losing courage now, too. “So—so, oppa, did he… Taehyung, he… what did he say about last night?” You bit your tongue. “I mean the night before. Hobi—Hobi oppa’s party’s night.” You focussed your gaze at your sweaty hands resting in your lap. “I drank God knows what combination of alcohol, and…and can’t seem to recall the events that followed us leaving the party. Taehyung is really worked up about it all, so…” You looked up to meet Jin’s flat stare. “Will you tell me what happened that night? What—what Taehyung’s been so worried about?”

Jin sipped at his smoothie, smacked his lips, and had just opened his mouth to say something, when a familiar voice rained down on the two of you from the side. “Well, this is fabulous!” 

You jumped, snapping your head to the side to see Jin’s girlfriend standing close to your booth in her waitress outfit, lunchbox in hand and rage on her face.

“So, now you have engagements during lunch, too. Great. Just great.”

“Unnie, I…” You trailed off as the woman silenced you with a sharp glare. Tossing another one at her boyfriend, she twisted on her heels and left the break room. “I… what did I do wrong? She—she did recognize me, right?” you nervously asked the stoic wall sitting before you.

“Taehyung is upset because you’ve been hiding behind the excuse of this fictitious memory loss—that doesn’t happen in real life, mind you—to get out of the promise you made to him while drunk,” Jin told you in a slightly high pitched, obviously enraged, and nearly unrecognisable voce. 

You gaped at him. “I really do not remember, oppa! Why would I want to forget about my first…” You slowly came to a halt as it hit you. “Wait, what did you say? The promise I made to him? What promise?” you rasped, bewildered.

Jin scowled at you. "What first time were you going to speak of? I don’t know about the intimate details of your relationship, and I don't want to, because that isn’t material here.” You ducked your head as your cheeks pinked. “You two drunkards were getting all emotional about loving each other a lot and wanting to stay together forever, so Tae proposed the idea of sealing it with a ring.”

You gasped. “I—a promise ring?”

“Mm hmm,” Jin hummed with pursed lips. “And then, when you got sober and realised you shouldn't have made that commitment in a haste, you ran out on him, instead of telling him straight up. And since then you’ve been confusing him with mixed clues instead of properly talking to him about what you want.” Jin’s jaw was set. “Why can’t you just have a proper talk, huh? Why do you women have to be so mysterious and expectant about things? Use your freaking words, for one damn time in your life! Men can’t get into your head to guess shit! Say it, and maybe we’ll be able to resolve it! Use words to describe what you actually want, and maybe I'd be able to get it done!”

Jin was breathing hard, his eyes were blown wide and a few veins in his forehead looked close to popping. You swallowed, feeling nervous, confused, dumbstruck and a tad bit scared for your life, at the same time. “Uh… you?”

Jin blinked, and the hazy, mad look lifted from his gaze. His lips parted and he sighed very noisily. “No, not I. It’s just… I started to project my personal issues onto you. Sorry about that, kid.” He forwarded a hand to pat your shoulder in apology. “You got what you came here for, though, right?”

“I… yeah, I guess. Although…” I cannot believe that that is what I forgot. No wonder Taehyung looked so downtrodden.

Gosh, you were a fool!

“Thank you so much, oppa!” you announced to Jin, getting up with a new spring to your steps. “I’ll get going, now.”

You bounded out of the restaurant. You literally could not believe what you’d just learned. Smacking a palm against your face, you shook your head at yourself. 

You concentrated, again, this time to recall conversations from last night instead of actions. And surprisingly enough, some of the fog cleared away as you started recalling things…

…you are beyond toasted in this shimmery polyester top and leather shorts you’d worn as your costume. The minute you step into Taehyung’s room, you are scrambling to get out of them.

Your boyfriend chuckles as he locks the door after himself. “You’re more than welcome to take it off, and more, babe.”

Your mind has gotten kind of hazier than you’re used to. But knowing how Tae always makes fun of you for being a lightweight — which you’re really really not, Tae just holds his liquor better than you do — you avoid bringing up your state of mind. You laugh at his teasing remark.

Within seconds, you have thrown off your top and shorts, and are snuggled between Taehyung’s covers. He himself has stripped down to his boxers. You give a lazy smile as your eyes rove his torso. “What happened to wearing pajamas when we cuddled?” you tease, sleepily.

Taehyung gets in bed next to you, rolling over to pull you to his chest. He smirks down at you, complete with his vampire makeup. “Too balmy tonight. And too tired to find pajamas.”

You giggle, burrowing yourself into the warm, soft skin of his chest. You poke a finger into his pectoral muscle.

“Ow!” he yelps.

“You’re muscly, babe. Those oversized clothes hide you well,” you observe, licking your lips as your hands smooth over his chest and stomach.

“And you’re sexy,” he responds in a rasp, eyes stuck on the cleavage exposed by your bra. “Do you usually sleep with this on?” he asks, snapping the strap against your shoulder.

You wince, shaking your head. “It’s too hot to wear a shirt, so…”

Taehyung pulls you in closer, staring deep into your eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Despite all the ridiculous makeup, your heart skips a beat at his intense stare. You nod.

His hands slide behind you to unhook your bra. You gasp when the clasp is released. “Relax, baby. It’s just me,” Taehyung whispers to you in a soothing voice. “I won’t even look if you ask me to. You know that, right?”

You do. But you also do. Want him to look, and more. As the garment is pulled away from your body, slowly, Taehyung’s eyes remain stuck to yours. Your own water at the love, admiration and respect you feel for him in the moment. Actually, not just in the moment. Always.

A sob escapes your lips. You rush to wrap yourself in his arms, again. “Baby?” he sounds worried. “What—what happened, sweetheart?”

“I just love you a lot, Tae,” you speak into his skin in a nasally, snot-filled voice. “A lot. You’re my most precious gemstone in the whole world. Never leave me, baby. Never ever.”

Taehyung presses a multitude of kisses to the crown of your head, and you feel wetness seep into your shoulder when he nuzzles your nape. “I love you too, my babylove. And I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever.”

“Promise?” you mumble. “This is forever?”

You feel him nod against you. “Forever, baby. I promise.” He pulls away from you, eyes still on your face as he wipes away your tears and the obviously ruined makeup if his own is anything to go by. “Do you want to seal it? With a promise ring?”

You gasp. This is the stuff from teenage romance novels that you’ve always dreamed of. “I… Yes! Yes, Tae, oh my God, yes, yes, please yes!” you happily chant, grabbing both his hands and wringing them around as you roll in the bed.

Taehyung chuckles, calming you down by pulling you in for a kiss. The familiar heavenly feel of his pillowy lips has you quieting down and kissing him back. His palm slowly travels up the curve of your waist to curl around the side of your breast. Your breath hitches.

Taehyung brushes his tongue against your lower lip, and pulls back. “Is this okay?” he asks, giving a slight squeeze.

You almost squeak at the sensation, rapidly nodding your head like a dummy. Smiling, he captures your lips again and massages his palm over the peak of your breast, squeezing when you moan into his mouth. You lose yourself in his taste and touch.

His lips travel lower to your jaw, peppering kisses on their way. You release a sigh of bliss, hands carding through his hair. His teeth scrape over your collarbone, quickly latching onto the skin of your neck. You cannot hold back the whine that leaves you, sensations travelling down to the bottom of your stomach.

“Mine,” he breathes into your skin, sponging kisses over the bite he has just left. “Only mine.”

“Only yours, baby,” you breathe out, rolling on your back as he presses his face against your sternum.

“You’ve made me the happiest man, bub,” he breathes onto your chest, a finger drawing patterns around your navel as he cuddles into you. “I’ll get you that ring and prove myself to be the best boyfriend, in the world. I’ll love you more than you ever thought was possible.”

Tears trickle down your eyes at his words. “And I’m gonna be the best girlfriend in the world to you, baby. You’re my dream come true. My real life prince charming.”

He doesn't say anything for a while, just hugs you tighter. His lips feathers soft kisses to the tops of your breasts, and a hand plays with imaginary patterns on your stomach. And then you feel his head getting heavier. You want to ask him if he’s sleepy, but you cannot even open your eyes with how heavy they’ve gotten. You breathe out as he holds you closer, and slowly drift into sleep...

Your eyes watered as the scenes played out in your head, everything you’d been unable to recall gradually coming back. You realised you’d been going about it the wrong way, trying to recall your passionate moments, when it had all been an extremely emotional affair.

You bit your lip as you called Taheyung’s cellphone. You were gonna beg for his forgiveness and then kiss him silly. You loved this boy so much, oh God.

The phone was picked up after three rings. “Hi, kiddo!”

You blinked at the unexpected voice and greeting, but then recognised it to be Hobi’s. Oh how you wished you could yell at the guy for making your life miserable by mixing drinks at his damn party. You exhaled, though, and tried to clear your head. “Hobi oppa, hey. Where’s Tae?”

“At the Kappa rehearsal hall with me!” Hobi cheerfully told you. “We’re doing a k-pop routine today. You know how he gets with those, right? He’s been practising this one move that he can’t get right for so long, ugh. Do you need a message conveyed?”

You frowned to yourself. It had been a while since Taehyung visited the rehearsal halls. Was he trying to distract himself from the disaster you’d brewed up for him? Very likely. “No, no, I’m gonna…” You stopped yourself. Maybe an element of surprise would work better. “I’ll call later, when he’s done,” you said, instead, already mapping a way down to the university campus and the rehearsal hall as you hailed a cab.

You received Hobi’s text on your way, stating that they were all leaving for the ice cream parlor opposite the building and that you may contact Taehyung now if you wanted to. You were kind of grateful they’d all left the rehearsal hall. You weren’t sure how you’d call Taehyung aside in an echoing hall with mirrors and Hobi’s dance team. And what would you do if he refused you? You weren’t prepared for that kind of humiliation. An ice cream shop, you could do.

On reaching your destination, you exited the cab, determined. You looked up at the striking capital K embossed in gold atop the Kappa rehearsal hall. Then you turned to look across the street and spotted a quaint, cosy looking ice cream parlour painted in beautiful pastels. You crossed the road with hurried steps.

You took a deep breath in. You were gonna apologise your butt off, and then kiss him in the middle of this very place if you had to. God, you felt so guilty! You were gonna make this right.

As you pushed the door open, the entry bell tolled, alerting the girl behind the cash counter of your presence. As she flashed you a bright smile, you realised she looked familiar. She had a really kind face. Maybe you’d seen her around the campus, maybe she was one of Wendy’s friends. 

You stepped in and returned her greeting with a small smile of your own. Then you looked around to spot Taehyung and Hobi’s group. Hobi caught your eye first, standing out with his fiery red hair.

You walked over. “Hey… everyone,” you greeted the table, awaiting Hobi’s reaction and hoping he’d be kinder than Jin. Although half of Jin’s ire seemed to have come from his personal troubles which you really had known nothing about beforehand. You smiled when Hobi’s surprised eyes met yours. “Hi.”

“Oh! Hey, kid!” Hobi greeted you with a huge grin, easing your worries. “You, uh, you came here, whoa!”

You gave a bashful shrug, awkward because you didn’t recognise anyone other than Hobi on the table.

And then you did a double take at the table. You didn’t recognise anyone, indeed! Where was Taehyung?

Hobi noticed your searching eyes. “Oh, Tae went back to the hall, he’d left his phone. He’ll be back in five.”

You exhaled. That wouldn’t do. “I’ll catch him back there, no problem.”

Hobi shrugged his shoulders, without question. “He’d be in hall G.”

Nodding him a quick thanks, you took off, leaving the ice cream shop, and crossed the road back to the rehearsal hall. As you stepped foot onto the linoleum floor of your university's most coveted rehearsal hall, you realized you’d never been here before. Past the revolving gates, you encountered a small reception area where you had to show your college ID to get yourself checked in.

When the man passed your ID back to you over the counter, you made your way down the corridor which was lined by various gates that were numbered alphabetically. These were probably the individual halls. The corridor, you noticed, ran quite long. God, how huge was this place?

On reaching the door marked with a G, you stopped. The door wasn’t fully shut like all the others you’d walked past, right now.

You gave it a slight push, peeking in. Taehyung’s shapely butt greeted you as the guy leant over on the floor, rummaging around for something. Probably his phone. You gaped at the sight for a few extended seconds, before realising how you were being a creep.

You cleared your throat and gave the door a firmer push, opening it wide enough for you to step through. Taehyung’s wide eyes met yours in the mirrored wall he was sat before. You sucked in a sharp breath as his attractiveness smacked you in the face, yet again. Dressed in plain black joggers and a loose fitted t-shirt, he should have had nothing on your white colored high waisted shorts and pale blue button up, and yet he looked like a freaking Greek God, while you...well. You really just looked like a potato trying to play dress-up in front of this guy, swear to God.

He straightened up, running a hand through his dark hair, his eyes following your movements through the mirror as you stepped in. His gaze seemed apprehensive and he really didn’t seem to be in the mood to speak, anytime soon. “Hi,” you whispered through a scratchy throat.

Taehyung’s eyes travelled down your body, making you blush from the inside out as they lingered on your legs. “Hey,” he finally said, audibly exhaling as he sat down, this time, to rummage through some towels and water bottles lying on the floor next to the wall length mirror. “You done with your breather, overnight, then? Can you give me a ring? I can’t find my phone.”

You bit your lip at his caustic tone and taunt. And also at the lack of an address. No babe, no angel? You’d really hurt him. “Uh, yeah, sure,” you quickly said, holding back the flood that was filling up your heart as you fished your phone out from your pocket.

The buzz of a cellphone’s vibration filled up around you. Taehyung bounced back to his feet, attentively kicking off a soaked towel, and there, on the floor, you saw his phone. You disconnected the call as he picked the device up. “Thank you,” he mumbled, breaking your heart with the formality and the repetitive lack of address.

He walked up to you on careful steps, eyes scanning your face as if accessing something. You breathed in. “Tae, can we talk?”

His eyebrows did a thing where one of them rose and the other lowered, very slightly. You nearly creamed your panties. “Depends,” he gruffly said, looking away to inspect his phone. “Are you gonna run off in the middle of it, again?”

You winced, ducking your head in shame. “No. No, absolutely not. Never again, I promise,” you mumbled. You looked up and caught a brief glimpse of his shattered expressions before he pulled on his mask of indifference mingled with slight bother. You felt like shit. “I’m so so so sorry, baby,” you said without any ado. “I acted like a complete idiot and—and really hurt you.”

Taehyug’s whole body seemed to deflate. With his lips pursed and eyes shut, he shook his head. “That you did, babe. That you did.”

You clamped your lower lip between your teeth. “Forgive me? Please?” you breathed out in a really desperate voice, ready to beg on your knees if you had to.

Taehyung opened his eyes with a tired sounding, noisy exhale. “It’s… well, of course, I’ll forgive you, Angel. You’re the love of my life,” he said with a small smile while his eyes still emanated immense sadness. He looked so heartbroken and lost that you just wanted to give him a tight hug. “But, baby. Why? Why did you go through all this trouble of faking memory loss? You ran out on me twice within twelve hours, you know. It hurt like a bitch that you couldn’t just talk to me about wanting to back out. I would’ve understood, baby. You were drunk and emotional, and I—”

You gasped when it hit you. Faking memory loss? Wanting to back out? Oh no. “Tae!” you interrupted him, stepping forth to put both your palms against his chest, resisting the urge to splay them and push them into his toned flesh. “You’ve still got it wrong. I didn’t fake any memory loss, baby. I genuinely did not remember. I promise. I didn’t lie.”

Taehyung frowned, looking confused. “What? But…why did you leave like that in the morning, then?” he asked in a soft voice, looking vulnerable as his hands came up to loop around your wrists.

Your skin as well as your heart warmed at his familiar touch, and this time you did splay your fingers out a bit on his pectorals. “I…” You felt your cheeks and ears heating up when you realized you’d have to actually tell him what you’d assumed you’d forgotten. “Um, Tae, we—uh, we were nearly naked when we woke up, you remember?”

Despite the situation, a corner of his lips ticked up and his hands left your wrists to wrap around your waist. “Uh huh, vividly. What of it?”

You felt the heat climb down your ears, to your neck. You looked down at his beautiful collarbones to avoid the intensity his eyes suddenly shone with. “Well, it — it made me think that maybe, you know… stuff might have happened between us. Um, you know…?”

When you felt his hold slacken, you looked up to find Taehyung gaping at you with his jaw dropped really far down and eyes as round as golf balls. “You thought we had sex?” he squeaked, face contorting in horror. “No…you thought you forgot that we had sex,” he corrected himself, horror growing on his face as you pursed your lips in silent acquiescence.

“I felt horribly embarrassed,” you quietly confessed, making his grip on you tighten again. “Our first sexual encounter was — well, is going to be something I remember and cherish for the rest of my life. I hated myself for blanking out on it.”

“But you could’ve asked me!” he desperately said, shaking his head as if in disbelief.

“Yeah, about that.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I kinda did, but somebody just gave me suggestive glances and confuddling freaking words that concreted my doubt of us having had sex!”

Taehyung grimaced. “Yeah, I was tryna tease, but it came back to bite me in the butt.”

You rolled your eyes with a small chuckle, sliding your palms past his shoulders to grip his neck.

“As it stands, I’m sorry, too.” He looked at you with parted lips and big, innocent eyes. “I shouldn’t have doubted you like that.”

You looked in his now regretful eyes with love bubbling in your chest. “How could you ever think I would wanna back out, baby?” you whispered, leaning in close enough to taste his favorite strawberry milkshake on his breath. “You really are my most precious gemstone in the whole world, Tae,” you relayed your words from that night, making his eyes widen. “My dream come true. My real life prince charm—”

With a growl Taehyung captured your lips in his. You melted in his embrace, nails digging into the back of his neck as you drank your fill of him. Your lips moved in sync, the most natural rhythm in the world to you. You had missed this, missed him so much, in just a day. You really couldn’t live without this boy. He was your whole world.

His tongue swiped past the seams of your lips to delve deeper, and you allowed him entry with a deep moan, going lax in his arms as he plundered your mouth. You felt him move you around, and then a cold surface was pressing into your back. Taehyung sidled up to you, his planes molding smoothly into your curves. You sighed into his mouth, tasting him to the fullest as you ran your own tongue over the ridge of his upper teeth. His chest vibrated with a groan, making you shiver.

You closed your teeth around his lower lip and sucked, making him gasp and push against you harder. His own teeth scraped against your upper lip. Goosebumps spread all over your body.

His arms left your waist to pull at your own, slowly travelling down your shoulders, to encircle your wrists and pin them next to your head. He pulled away with a heaving chest, and you gasped in a large breath. Your eyes fluttered open.

He looked good enough to eat with his eyes shuttered, dark hair brushing his miles long lashes, and lips cherry red with your kisses. “I love you so so much, my babylove,” he whispered, strawberry scented breath washing over your face.

You inhaled his essence. Your eyes watered at the love reflected in his own. “I love you, too, Tae. I love you forever.”

Pinned between him and, you could now tell, the mirror, your heartbeat quickened when he licked his lips. Without another word, he leant down to sponge open mouthed kisses down your neck.

“Tae,” you breathed out, “we’re in...publi—ah!” you broke on a gasp when he licked a strip up to your jaw.

Your eyelashes fluttered as he came back up to look into your eyes with his own darkened in lust. “You didn’t cover the marks, did you?”

Your breathing almost stopped at his deep octave. Nearly trembling in his grasp, you shook your head. “I w—w—wore a shirt to… hide ’em,” you managed to breath out, going insane under his heated stare.

He let go of your arms to unbutton the collar of your shirt. You looped your fingers through the waistband of his joggers, chewing on your lower lip when he undid another button. And another. And then another. “You look really fucking sexy today, by the way,” he grumbled into your neck, leaning in to lave his tongue over the deep purple marks he’d left there. “Love the shorts.”

You bit back a whimper when his teeth scraped against the flesh just beneath your collarbone. 

“I happen to remember another mark,” he spoke into your skin, nose dragging down your sternum and sinking into your cleavage. One of his fingers came up to drag against the top seam of your bra. In a swift motion, he scooped the cup down to free your right boob. One of his fingers came up to encircle your nipple, making it peak immediately. Humming in satisfaction, he moved the shapely digit up to rub against the mark you remembered he’d left there. “Would you look at that.” His voice was now a growl, hot breath warming the skin of your breast as he spoke. “My baby looks so pretty.”

That was your last warning before Taehyung was engulfing your peak into his mouth. You stopped breathing. Frozen in place, your thighs tingling at the sensation and your core clenching in anticipation, a breathless heave left you when his tongue flicked against the pebbled nipple. You desperately clutched onto him for dear life, one hand grabbing hold of his shirt at the waist and the other coming up to grip a tuft of his hair. “Tae...hyung,” you whined, eyes screwed shut as he sucked hard.

He let go of your boob with a pop, only to tease his mark with kitten licks. You were gonna die. 

One of his hands glided over one of your thighs, hooking under your knee to lift your leg up and slot himself further into you. Your eyes flew open when you felt the stiffness between his legs. He felt hard. And he felt huge. Gulping, you tugged at his hair to pull him away. He separated from you with dazed eyes, blinking rapidly as if to focus on your face as he breathed through his wet, rosy, parted lips.

Sexy fucking beast.

As you looked into his crazed eyes, he pressed harder against you, pushing his length against the crotch of your shorts. You whimpered, your fists tightening on him when the zipper of your shorts bumped into your clit. Taehyung’s eyes lit up with interest. He repeated the motion. You threw your head back, giving up when he picked up pace, rubbing against you with his own breathing laboured.

Sweat beaded your forehead, and his hand came up to support the back of your neck, palm of the other still holding up your leg to provide him with the required leverage. You let out a guttural moan when he leant in to lick at your nipple with the flat of his tongue. “Tae…” you sighed, attempting to collect some semblance of your sanity, but failing.

Taehyung sped up, almost rutting against you, and you rolled your hips against his to match the pace. His mouth latched onto your neck, shooting off sparks down to your core and fueling the fire bubbling in the pit of your stomach. You were about to combust. “My baby,” he grumbled into your ear, scraping his teeth against the flesh behind it. Your entire body shuddered. “Only mine,” he growled again.

You nodded blindly, gasping when he bit down on your flesh. His hand suddenly left your neck to brush down your front, tweaking your nipple, and settled onto the waistband of your shorts. His eyes met yours through the haze of lust you two were choking on, and you gave him a nod of consent. He deftly unbuttoned the garment, hips not ceasing for a moment as his fingers glided down your abdomen. 

The first contact his fingers made with your clit was explosive. Your back arched off the wall, mouth falling open on a silent scream. He nudged against your bundle of nerves twice, before moving down your wetness to sink two of his gorgeously slender fingers into you. You had been flooding your panties since the moment your eyes met. Both his fingers slid right in. His hips stuttered to a halt, lips falling open on a gasp. Your hand left his head to clutch at his shoulder, pulling him in further when he let go of your knee.

“You are soaking, baby,” he breathed, awe and surprise spilling off his throaty timbre. His fingers curved in you, rubbing against that spot inside of you that had taken you months to locate properly. He did it in under five seconds, and now he was playing you like a violin. You were gonna die!!! Your eyes fell shut again. His fingers were merciless, massaging your insides and pushing against your warmth. “Yes, you like that? Do you like that baby, hm?”

You managed a broken nod, gasps layering on one on top of the other. “T—Tae…Tae…”

“Come on, my love. Let go,” he whispered, swiping his tongue over your trembling lips before latching onto them.

A stroke of thumb against your clit, and you fell apart with a vibrating groan into his mouth. The knot tightening in your stomach suddenly expanded into a tsunami of sensations that travelled down to every single nerve ending in your body. Your walls clenched around his fingers as waves over waves of blinding, white pleasure crashed into you. Your legs jittered beneath you, spasming beyond your control.

It took you longer than a few seconds to come back to the land of living. You were not used to this.

You opened your eyes excruciatingly slow, as if waking up from unconsciousness. But when you did, Taehyung had already extracted his hand back from you, righted your bra, buttoned up both of your garments, and was now licking your wetness off his fingers with his eyes shut. The sight made you thump back against the wall, jolting his hand that was holding onto your waist and making him open his eyes in surprise.

You looked at him from under your lashes, your chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. “What…” you panted, “the hell…”

Taehyung had a starved look in his eyes when he met yours that, despite just having had the best orgasm of your entire life, made you wanna throw him on his back and ride him to the high heavens. “I take it you liked that,” he murmured, cradling your waist in his arms.

“Liked it? Are you insane?” you scoffed. “Taehyung, I…” you heaved a breath out, picking up your leaden arms to rest against his shoulders. “I couldn’t breathe. It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt,” you whispered, feeling vulnerable and at the same time protected.

Taehyung, contrary to your expectations, gave you a sincere smile instead of the smirk you’d envisioned. “Makes me the happiest man. I love you so much, you know?”

You giggled, pulling your lips in. “I love you, too, you insanely insanely sexy man,” you teased, making him scrunch up his nose in embarrassment. Something poked your thigh when you shuffled closer to him, and you gasped. “Babe, what about you… your… um.” Your wide eyes pointed down at his nearly fully erect member. 

Taehyung gave a laugh. “Well, we can always go back to the dorms and take care of it together,” he suggested, making your cheeks flame up and your battered pussy reignite in excitement. “I was dry humping you like a thirteen-year-old. Couldn’t let our first sexual encounter be about that.”

“You were lucid enough to think about all that?” you asked him, genuinely curious.

“No, that was a lie.” Taehyung gave you a bashful shake of head. “I was a goner, babe. I just…” His tongue came out to lick at his lower lip. “I just had this sudden urge to feel you. Couldn’t control it.”

You shakily exhaled. “Your fingers are amazing. No, you are amazing,” you mumbled, leaning in to press a kiss against his lips. You suddenly pulled back with your eyes wide. You looked around the hall, frenetically. “Wait, this place doesn’t have cameras, does it?”

Taehyung laughed with his lips pursed. “Of course not, darling. Who do you think I am?”

“A really sexy guy who missed his girlfriend?” you teased again, and this time, he kissed you in retaliation.

Pulling away, he looked at you with stars in his eyes. “Wait,” he mumbled, reaching into his pocket for something.

You had a guess what it could be. 

Pulling out a plastic case that obviously housed a ring, Taehyung sucked in his lower lip as he looked at you. Pinning you against the mirror, he popped the box open between your faces. Your eyes left his to look at the ring — a simple, silver band with a dainty knot embossed on it. Your eyes watered.

“It’s beautiful,” you mumbled through a clogged throat.

“My angel, my other half, the love of my life,” Taehyung whispered, paying no heed to the tear that travelled down his cheek, “do you promise to be mine forever?”

You sobbed. Clamping a hand over your mouth, you nodded, frantically. “Yes. Yes, I promise. I promise to be yours forever.”

He plucked the ring out of the box and slid it on your finger. Sobs wracked the two of you as you hopped into his arms, tucking your legs around his waist when he lifted you off the floor. “I love you so much, oh baby,” he sobbed into your neck.

“I love you, too, my love, I love you, too.”

Fifteen minutes later, after crying for a while, admiring how cute the ring looked on your hand, ensuring that Taehyung wasn’t even the slightest bit hard, and nearly leaving his phone behind again, the two of you exited rehearsal hall with your entwined hands swinging between you. 

“So,” Taehyung suddenly commented, a sly smirk on his face. “Bet you can’t get amnesia about coming for me in Hobi hyung’s rehearsal hall, huh? Even if you tried? Mission accomplished!” 

You gasped, raining down smacks on him right there, on the side of the road. He was gonna tease you about your wrong interpretation of that night, forever, it seemed.

“Hey, I was kidding!” Taehyung exclaimed, sheltering himself with his arms. “Let’s go ask hyung what he mixed with the vodka that gave you amnesia in the first place!” 

You stopped with your attack. That seemed like a great idea. You were dying to ask the man that, yourself. “Let’s.”

As you two walked back to the ice cream shop, your ring glinted, reflecting sunlight. You looked at Taehyung who was grinning to himself. 

You were the happiest, today, that you had ever been in your life.

note: angst by the virtue of miscommunication is my fav sort of angst to write. in the original draft, this story was to end when OC got back to Tae's dorm to sort things out, but then my mind said naAAHHH. mORE ANGST!!! lmao, anyways. thank you for reading! jin's story should be up next, if all goes according to plan. wait around~ 😘💕

© bangtae-sohotddaeng | 2021

[uss-genderprise]

I read Alien Brothers so that you don’t have to

Giving up on my usual no caps writing style for this post cause. Holy shit, man.

For those of you not in the know, Alien Brothers is a K/S fanzine published in 1987 by Seabright Publishing and curated by Helena Seabright. It is best known for being the only fanzine that is relatively easy to find a PDF of online (shout-out to @princenimoy for sharing it with us. You can find the full story here). But also, it's well known for being the fanzine that finally published The Ring Of Soshern, which is considered to be the first widely known K/S fic to circulate fandom spaces, back in 1968. It's also the first pon farr in a cave fic.

Alien Brothers was highly controversial for publishing multiple fics, including the aforementioned Ring Of Soshern, without the authors' knowledge or consent.

(Huge shout-out to Fanlore, where I got a lot of the background information on this zine and the fics published in it. I highly recommend looking through it. The review section is particularly fun.)

TW for: lots and lots of talk about rape and sex. Mentions of homophobia, polyamphobia, and racism. Possibly excessive use of the /s (sarcasm) tone marker. Also, I don't censor myself AT ALL, so. Language.

Disclaimer: I complain a lot. None of it is against the authors specifically - I don't know them, I don't know what they were going through, and I don't want to psychoanalyse them. Any time I complain about something the author said or did is not an attack on their person.

Disclaimer 2: I tried reading through this and editing typos and stuff, but it’s a really long post and a lot of it pisses me off, so I’m sorry if any slipped past the cracks.

Now that all that's out of the way, let's get to the reviews.

The Ring Of Soshern by Jennifer Guttridge

Yes, this is the fic everyone talks about. In it, Kirk and Spock are stranded on an alien planet with no way of contacting the ENTERPRISE (that’s how it always looks in fanzines lol) so they try to wait it out until the crew starts looking for them. Unfortunately, Spock seems to be sick, with what we later find out is Pon Farr. They end up hiding out in this cave in the mountains after killing the pterodactyl looking aliens that lived there (the art made them look like those purple flying aliens in tas, but the fic was written before tas existed so idk how accurate that is). They fuck only once and then it’s over, which is interesting because that’s not how Pon Farr is in more modern fics. Because they killed the flying monsters, the local humanoid population regards them as gods and offers them food and stuff. Then the Enterprise comes back and they leave. The end.

I'll be honest, I expected more from this. It's still a good fic, the worldbuilding is nice and the writing it good. I've heard some people complain that it's too slow, but that didn't bother me. I think that if I had read this early on in my time in this fandom I would have enjoyed it more, but as it inspired so many fics that I read before, it just kinda fell flat. It's still really interesting to see how certain words and terms have changed meaning over the past 50 years, so as a delve into history, it was quite fun. 4/5

Tickling the Dragon's Tail by Jane Mailander

Man, old PWPs really didn’t know what they were doing, did they? Apparently, annoying your SO with dirty talk until they stop working and fuck you was already an established trope in ‘87. That’s basically all that happens in this one, except we don’t actually get to see them fuck, which, like, isn’t that the whole point? What are you doing??

So, yeah. No plot, set up to be smut but ended up being fade to black. Still, well written and not too bad as a filler fic between heavier, longer works. 4/5

Odds and Abbs by Jenny Starr

Five year missions are long and boring in the time between aliens trying to blow up your ship and your captain getting split in two, I guess. The crew on the Enterprise decides that a fun game to play would be to leave cryptic messages on the bathroom wall and let the senior crew attempt to guess what that’s all about. The latest message says K/S? And people are voting whether or not they think that ship is canon. Spock overhears some girls talking about it and realises it’s about him and Kirk, and has a hell of a good time no telling anybody.

This one was honestly really good and funny, and probably the only one worth reading in this entire zine. Good vibes all around. Definitely would have been better as a new fan, but still enjoyable nonetheless. 5/5

The Air Is The Air by Vivian Gates

It’s really funny to me how you can so easily tell when a fic was published in this zine without the author’s consent, because all the other ones have a little bit of info about the author before the fic, and these ones don’t. Anyway, The Air Is The Air was originally published in As I Do Thee #5 in 1986, and you can read it on ksarchive.

In this fic, Kirk and Spock are captured by Klingons, who were about to rape both of them before Spock offered himself up to distract them so he can nerve pinch them and they can escape. Unfortunately, Jim sees the whole thing and things become awkward as they wait in their hideout on this planet for the Enterprise to come back, because now Kirk knows that Spock is bi, and oh no, what if he’s not accepting??? (Can you tell how much I hate when this shit happens? I hope so.) I don’t actually remember how this ends, but I’m doing some further background reading now and apparently Bones has to talk to Jim about it and it has an unsatisfying ending. Okay.

Honestly, could have been a lot worse. The rape scene was kinda weird cause Spock clearly wasn’t into it but also he wasn’t bothered at all? And like, he doesn’t need to be bi to offer himself up to save his captain. I have some conflicted feelings about this. Still, once again, saved by being well written and no as bad as the other fics on this list. 3/5

Homecoming by Sethera Dragon

I need y'all to know that I read most of these like three months ago and made notes. This one just says 5/5 pleasant read. I literally remember nothing of it so must have been pretty okay. It's a post TMP story about why Spock left for Gol and that’s literally all I know about it.

I Thought I Saw... by A. T. Bush

The Enterprise is exploring this new planet that seems to have no fauna, except that crewmembers keep claiming they saw/heard things, and then Jim’s hanging out by this pond (river? Either I don’t remember or it was unclear) and gets a kick to the ass and falls in, seeing that the fish in the water are half invisible. He comes out to find Spock standing near the water and obviously assumes that Spock pushed him in. As we all know, assume makes an ass out of u and me, so this bit isn’t fun at all, until eventually they figure out that the fruit on the trees makes the animals turn invisible and also a crewmember said they saw a unicorn. Jim realises a unicorn probably pushed him in so he reconciles with Spock. The end.

This one has been plaguing my every thought since I finished reading it. Not because it's particularly good or particularly bad, but because I'm sooooo mad about it. Just. So mad. There was all this build-up, exploring this cool new planet that really gave me This Deadly Innocence vibes (and I like that fic a lot so this is a good thing) but then. But then. We get nothing! Just absolutely no resolution! I wanted proof of the invisible unicorns, and got none!!! Also miscommunication as a source of drama sucks major ass. 3/5 still well written and kinda fun.

Limits Exist Only in the Mind by Marcella Belton

Boy oh boy, we're getting to it now. This one. Where do I even start. This one I finished a few days ago so it's still very fresh in my mind and man. I wish it wasn't. Oh how I wish to forget this fic exists. Okay, so it's not the first Kirk/Spock/McCoy fic, that one's The Third Wheel by crfaddis, published in 1976, which I do not plan on reading unless someone pays me to. Still, this is an old one, and oh boy does it show. This is gonna be a long one.

So, like usual, let's start with a quick summary: Spock has just been revived (maybe a few weeks before? Unclear) after the events of SFS. He and McCoy are still mentally connected and it's causing problems. Sarek tells Kirk and take them both and run, but then a Federation ship shows up to take them into custody, so they take the bird of prey and fly straight into an anomaly near the Vulcan sun which has apparently been there for a very long time and lots of criminals have used it as an escape route. Now inside the anomaly, the ship is ambushed by some of the aforementioned criminals, headed by a big guy who's name I don't remember and his Romulan first officer/lover, who's name I also don't remember but it was cool and better than Big Guy's name. They manage to make peace and Big Guy takes them to their planet. Spock goes into pon farr and rapes Kirk. Truly 0-100 up in this bitch. Kirk is all like "I wanted to help but he was too rough" and Bones is all like "you shouldn't go in there again" but Kirk does anyway and they fuck while Bones is watching to make sure they don't go too hard. Spock is still in pon farr but now Jim has to make sure they can get back home so he tells Bones to jerk Spock off until he can come back and finish the job. Then he comes back and they have a threesome. Genuinely the best part of this fic if only because of the sheer ridiculousness of it (it’s just so funny to me. Just. Absolutely wild). Then they build a ship so that some of the planet's inhabitants can come through the anomaly with them, still having sex between scenes. They leave the planet and go through the anomaly, the ship they built almost gets destroyed and some people die but they're back home safe. The newly made thrupple tells Sarek they're together and then go talk to Saavik who is carrying Spock's child from his pon farr that he had in that cave with her in SFS that we're all trying to forget about. Anyway, after some fighting she agrees to let them all be the kid's father. The end.

Okay so. Now for the actual review.

Starting off strong with Sulu being described as "Oriental". I myself am not Asian and I have seen some conflicting opinions about whether or not this is problematic, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.

There are only three female characters in this fic: Uhura, Saavik, and some Romulan healer. Amanda seems to be dead, having been fridged off-screen. They talk about her in past tense. No idea what happened there. The Romulan healer was actually pretty fun, I liked her, but she also literally only said one line. Uhura was seen as a sex object. Saavik was the only one with agency, and even she was boiled down to "mother of unborn child". Hard to believe this was written by a woman. Was it really so hard to make the Big Guy Captain/ Romulan first officer couple that are clearly meant to mirror Kirk/Spock lesbians? It would have been sooo much fun, and then we'd actually have some women, too!

Sarek fucking sucks in this fic. Like, genuinely, so much more than he does in the show. He's a terrible person. Absolutely awful.

Now, to the real juicy stuff: polyamory. I have been in polyam relationships in the past, I have polyam friends, so I know what I'm talking about when I say: Bitch, wtf? It was implied that the Federation allows for multiple people to be married to each other, as in, more than two, but it also seems to be frowned upon, which is really weird to me. Then again, it seems that being in a homosexual relationship is frowned upon there too, but that's pretty common in this era of fics (and continues way into the 2000's, which, really? Why?). Anyway. Other than that, the relationship is actually pretty good (other than the fact it literally started with Spock raping Jim, but again, very common in this era).

One last grievance to air out before we move on: WHY DID SAAVIK ENTER INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH THREE MEN WHO ARE TWICE HER AGE AND SHE VIEWS AS MENTORS/FATHER FIGURES???? WHY??????

Okay I'm done. Good writing, good worldbuilding, a little slow especially towards the end, 2/5. Moving on.

To Great Lengths by A. T. Bush

Amazing how an author that can write something I hate as much as Limits Exist Only in the Mind can write something I enjoy as much as To Great Lengths.

This is a Mirrorverse fic, where Kirk got kidnapped and Spock kept searching for him until he found him presented as a sex slave in a bar where the highest bidder gets to decided what the slaves will perform. Everything in this is absolutely horrid, disgusting, vile, amoral, etc., but it's all presented as such, which makes a world of difference. I'm not gonna go into any detail, but let's just say it's not for the faint of heart. Really well done, 5/5.

Midnight in Venice by Jenny Starr

This was a breath of fresh air between all these fics. It was pretty mediocre, though, told entirely through dialogue, just Kirk and Spock expressing their admiration for one another while trapped in a forcefield that made everything around them look like Venice (which apparently no longer exists, because it’s all covered in water due to global warming. Nice to know we’re still dealing with the same problems /s). 4/5

Loveslaves by Dale Campion

Alright, it's time. This fic is why I'm making this entire post. If you thought my review of Limits was long, you ain't seen shit yet.

But first, a bit of background.

Loveslaves is a story in 3* parts (*keep this in mind, we'll come back to it). The first part was originally published alongside a poem in Duet #3 in 1981, under the title Love Slave's Song. I haven't read the poem, so this review is only about the fic. The second part was supposed to be published in Duet #4 in 1982, but the editor rejected it because it included fisting. Yes, fisting is a Star Trek thing. We'll come back to that too. You can read more about the history of this fic on Fanlore.

Our story begins with the space station Spock works on coming under attack. His crewmates are dead and he is taken hostage by some humans, including a captain named James Kirk. Boy oh boy, what ever shall happen next? This is a slave fic. Kirk decides he wants Spock to be his slave. Spock says no. Kirk says that if he doesn't agree the human fleet will destroy Vulcan. Spock agrees. Kirk rapes him, then says Spock will "learn to like it". We are only on page 2 out of 36, and I already want to murder someone. Jim comes back a little while later, he and Spock 69 and Spock enjoys it. A little loud voice in my head goes "Stockholm syndrome. This is Stockholm syndrome." "Of course it is," I reply. "This is a slave fic, what did you expect? Even in the year of our lord 2022 people still haven't figured out how to make slave fics not have rape and /or Stockholm syndrome in them, it's an inherent part of the trope". The voice in my head shuts up, because it's my voice, and I can tell it what to do. Anyway. We're three pages in, and this is what we know so far:

Kirk is a dick

Kirk is a rapist

Kirk is a manipulative bastard

Kirk is obsessed with Spock and will do anything to keep him for himself

Spock really, really does not want to be there

Spock doesn’t know what sex is, which only makes the rape thing worse

Let us continue. They go to a planet to drop off their cargo including some Romulans for the slave trade. Jim doesn't sell Spock but instead takes him as his share of the spoils, and buys him a Vulcan lyre that they find in a shop. Then, they go to a bar with McCoy, Kirk goes to fuck a lady, and Spock makes plans for escape, but he doesn't want to leave without taking Jim with him. Unfortunately, Kirk is nearly murdered, and Spock has to put all his plans aside to save his life. They beam back to the ship and warp away. End scene.

This is the cliffhanger you would be left with if you had read Loveslaves in Duet #3. Frankly, I wouldn't have asked for a sequel. (Then again, I wouldn't have asked for a sequel of Shelter, and yet plenty of other fans did, so I guess I'm not really the authority on the matter.)

Now, let's see where part II takes us. We start off real good (/s) with Jim waking up in sickbay and Spock being there to play him a song on the Vulcan lyre but Kirk instead tells him to get on his knees and suck him off and not stop even if anyone comes in. Cool /s. Spock spends the next three days while Kirk is in sickbay basically trying to avoid thinking about it. Then, Kirk comes back and shoves his entire hand inside Spock's ass up to the elbow, and let me tell ya', I usually don't care much for fisting, doesn't really do it for me, but I usually am also not bothered by it all that much. This was absolute hell to read. Just, completely horrid and disgusting. It felt filthy. I literally stopped and took a shower right after. Not Fun.

They keep fucking every morning and every night for a while until there's this party and then Jim goes to fuck Uhura and tells Spock to stay in sickbay for the night. When Spock is finally allowed back the next evening they don't fuck for a few days and Spock is sooooo worried about it because Stockholm syndrome. I hate it here. Then Jim almost gets assassinated and falls into depression and it turns out he found out about Spock's escape plan from like months before at this point and he spanks Spock with his belt and then says he's gonna sell him, and Spock gets really mad about this, not because he doesn't want to be a slave but because he only wants to be Kirk's slave, so he straight up. Just. He rapes Kirk. That happens. Comeuppance, I guess? So then Kirk starts to enjoy it, because of course he does, and I still wish I was doing literally anything else. Then! Then, he makes Kirk "bath him with his tongue", cause his dick is "still damn and musky from its sojourn inside Kirk's body", and I seriously considered just putting the fic down. But the incomplete review will haunt me forever, and I must tell you everything or else you might seek it out yourself. I'm not kidding with the title, I read this so that you don't. Please. Spare yourself.

Continuing on with the horrid monstrosity that is this fic, apparently going through that whole ordeal made them fall in love more and now they do CNC. Yes, this fic obsessed with rape is now still obsessed with rape but this time it's consensual. God, are we close to the end yet?

The answer is "eh... Kinda? We still have seven pages left to go". So let's continue.

So now Kirk and Spock are fully in love and heading back to earth for plot reasons. Kirk gets promoted to Fleet Captain and the Enterprise finally appears (before they were on a ship called the Vengeance). Now, the fic spends two pages worldbuilding and doing actual plot stuff, becomes good for like half a page, and then we're right back to trash when Spock suddenly goes missing after Kirk spent the night drinking with Gary Mitchell (who was about to assassinate him) and fucking Areel Shaw (I'm so fucking tired). Kirk decides to give up everything and steal the Enterprise to go after Spock. End of part two.

Part three begins and we find out the Spock was kidnapped and the escaped and he's waiting for Kirk to find him. We get half a page that seems promising, almost actually good, and then a to be continued, which, well. Alien Brothers had a very poor reception, to say the least, so it never got a sequel, so Loveslaves never got completed, so I am finally free and never have to think about this fic ever again.

I think it’s pretty obvious how I feel about this fic. For all that it was well written and didn’t have any typos, it’s still quite possibly the worst fic I have ever read in my life. It’s the only fic I’ve rated 1/5 on my K/S fic list, and that’s saying something. It’s rated lower than any fic I had ever bothered to rate. I’m gonna spend the next couple of days reading coffeeshop AUs and trying to bleach my eyes and cleans my soul with those. Thank you.

Now that we’re done with the fics, let’s go over the art and poetry.

The art, for the most part, is really impressive. I could point out ones that I don’t like, but that’s really down to personal preference, and I don’t want to single out anyone. I might share some of my favourites in a later post, so keep your eyes peeled for that.

The poetry, unlike the art, is pretty mediocre, even bad. I could do a review of each and every one, like I did with the fics, but frankly, I don’t feel like it. I’ll just say that most of them are from Spock’s perspective, and my favourite is probably The Lyrist.

All in all, is this zine worth reading?

No! Did you not read a single thing I wrote?! No, it’s not fucking worth reading!!!! Stick to things posted on AO3 in the past few years and you’ll be so much happier, believe me.

Thanks for reading. If you’ve made it this far, reblog with a picture of your cat. If you don’t have a cat, other pets will do. If you don’t have a pet, just any animal picture. Also, if you want me to do this again, please send a PDF of any fanzine you may have. As much as I hated this, I will be willing to do it again.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Quick question sorry if this has been asked before: do you know any Johnlock fanfic where they’re extremely sensual? Like not just making love but just super methodically drawn out and slow and sweet?

Hi Nonny!!

Ahh, because of this ask, I went through my bookmarks to see if I have any listed with “sensuality” so that’s what this list is!! It definitely doesn’t have all of my fics because I have to go back through them and tag them, but in the meantime, enjoy what I started tagging a few months ago when you sent me this ask, LOL <3

As always, add your own fics here, Lovelies!!

SENSUALITY

See also:

Emotional Love Making || [MOBILE POST]

Emotional Love Making Pt. 2

Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Morning Sunlight by slashscribe (E, 3,565 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Morning Sex, Fluff, PWP, Established Rel., Soft Idiots) – A thin band of soft morning light peeks between the curtains and stretches across John’s torso, laying dormant across his forearm, dipping into the space between his arm and his chest, illuminating his right nipple but just brushing the edge of his left, disappearing into his armpit, and reappearing again right over Sherlock’s eyes where his head rests, nestled against John’s shoulder. Sherlock is not annoyed by the light’s intrusion on his sleep, not when it rests so soft and tantalizing on John’s skin, a work of unintentionally erotic art. A PWP with so much emotion.

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.