#fic: i know exactly what i want and it's this life that we've created

[purpleturtle9000]

"What's that thing your brain makes? Dolphin memes?"

"Do you mean… dopamine?" Donnie asks slowly.

"No," Leonardo lies, immediately deciding he can never let anyone know how badly he messed that up. "In the future, you really liked dolphins. I don't know why."

[lovingshadowpeaches]

I started writing a shadowpeach fic if anyone wants to read it <3

[wrestlersownmyheart]

"Her Outlaw Hero" (Sons Of Anarchy-Chibs Chapter fic) Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Original Characters in this story. I am only using Kurt Sutter's characters from Sons of Anarchy. He created the characters and the show—I am in no way taking any credit for his creations. This story is for entertainment only. Content/Warnings: Violence against both men and women including rape. Summary:

Adelaide Watson is fleeing Tennessee—on the run from her violent past.

When she has a car accident on a lonely road in Charming, California, she has no choice but to walk to town for help. But help comes to her instead. In a very unexpected way.

NOTE: I couldn't bear the ending to Sons Of Anarchy, so this is what I came up with. Jax didn't die. He instead does prison time. And there's a few other tweaks I came up with. Hope this doesn't bother anyone, and hope that this story is enjoyed!

Chapter 2

"This is killin' me inside, brother," Chibs Telford said, his Scottish accent thickening even more with the emotion in his tone. He and Jackson Teller stood outside the chapel of their newly renovated club house. He looked Jax in the eye, and whispered, "Are ya sure this is what ya want, Jackie boy? You can do your prison time and come back, ya know that, right? The club won't be the same without a Teller—without you."

"This is exactly what I want, Chibs," Jax said softly, a bittersweet smile crossing his face. "I want to pay my debt to society. Then I want to come home to my wife and take our boys, and go somewhere nobody knows us. We need a fresh start." He grinned at his comrade, true peace on his face for the first time in ages. "You'll do great as Prez, I know you will. I'm depending on you to keep the club clean, brother," he said, grasping the older man's shoulder. "It's time we changed our ways and did some good for society. At the very least—not do any more bad than we've already done."

"I get it, Jax. I get it," Chibs replied, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I guess inside, I'm just an 'ol softie. I hate to see ya go. But, I do promise to keep the club legit. We're done with the outlaw life—even though that's all we'll ever be seen as."

Jax nodded, "Yeah, I know. But you'll know the truth—you all will." He patted Chibs on the back hard, and nudged him to through the chapel door. "Now, go get the votes done, Prez," he said, trying to sound light-hearted. "Patterson and her lap dogs will be here soon to cart me off."

Chibs puffed out a sigh as he closed the chapel's doors behind him. He sat in the VP's chair at the reaper table and scooted the chair nearer the table. Giving a nod to the other club members, he finally managed to speak over the lump in his throat.

"Okay, fellas. We're having this meeting because Jax wishes to step down as president—due to his serving prison time. And he also wants to be excommunicated from the club upon his release."

One could have heard a pin drop on the floor.

It was no surprise because Jax had spoken to each member and voiced his wishes, but it was still difficult for the men to imagine not only the Sons of Anarchy being minus Jax Teller, but to imagine the club excommunicating him. Excommunication from the club was the equivalent to the military issuing a soldier a dishonorable discharge.

But that's what they were asked to do, and that's what they planned to do. Difficult as it may be for them. The club life was seldom an easy one.

"We'll vote them both at the same time because we're short on time. All those…All those in favor," Chibs stammered out. He swallowed hard to gain his composure and began again. "All those in favor of Jackson Teller stepping down as President from the Sons of Anarchy, and all those in favor of excommunicating him." He turned his gaze to his left and wordlessly indicated that it was time for Quinn to begin the vote.

"Yea, and yea," Quinn said a dead look in his eyes. Ignoring his emotions was the only way for him to say the words without choking up.

"Yes, and yes," Bobby stated with little hesitation. The older man knew what it meant to Jax to leave the club and start a new life. As much as Jax loved the club, it'd almost cost him his family.

"Y-yea, and yea," Juice stuttered out, and then breathed out a loud sigh.

"Yes, and yes," voted Montez, looking down at the table as he spoke.

Rat glanced around the table and then down at his hands, obviously conflicted. He felt Tig place his hand comfortingly on his shoulder. Glancing up into the older man's vivid blue eyes, he knew what he had to do.

"Yea, and yea," he finally spoke.

Tig nodded in appreciation of the younger man's devotion to their club then turned his gaze on Chibs. "Yea, and yea," he said, after taking a deep breath.

Chibs nodded in solidarity to his fellow club brother and then shifted his dark eyes to Happy.

Happy uttered a soft curse before speaking louder, "Yea, and yea."

Wishing the voting would've taken a little longer, Chibs battled for the strength to do what he knew he had to. Wiping at a tear, and clearing his throat he managed to say softly, "Yes, and yes." He picked up the gavel and then cleared his throat once more, "Jackson Teller steps down as President and will hereby be excommunicated from the Sons Of Anarchy." He tapped the gavel on the table and then slid it over to Jax's empty place—the seat that would very soon be his.

But he couldn't be happy about it.

0000000

Jax stood at the MC's bar before his family and friends with a beer in his hand. Tara stood at his side with Thomas in her arms and Abel standing beside her.

"I wish it hadn't come to this," Tara whispered, jostling Thomas on her hip. "I hate you have to do more time just to ensure we get to leave Charming."

"I hate it too, babe, but nothing's for free," Jax replied, ruffling Abel's blond hair as he spoke. "Besides, I'd be kidding myself if I thought I was gonna get out of this with no prison time. If I'm lucky, I'll get out in seven years on good behavior. After that, we can get out of here and go anywhere you want to go."

Tara looked sad for a moment and seemed to have trouble with her words.

"What is it? You can tell me," Jax prodded her with a soft kiss to her mouth.

She smiled softly up at him, "I've just been thinking… Gemma and I had a long talk yesterday. We started out kind of heated—like we usually do," she chuckled slightly, "But I think we really got through to each other. She agrees that she's been way too possessive of the boys, and I realize that I was wrong to keep her from seeing them as much."

"So…" Jax said slowly, "What exactly does this mean?"

Tara smiled happily, "We are working on our differences. And I think… While you're in prison, I think I want to stay in Charming."

Jax grinned happily, "Really? That's what you want?"

She laughed, "Yes. Charming is our home. I used to have trouble accepting that, but it is. You have the club on the right track, and Chibs will keep it that way. The club is our family too. And I've been selfish to try and keep you from it. The guys have always been good to all of us. I can't make you turn your back on them and leave them behind."

Jax chuckled and slung his arm around her shoulders, "Well, they already held a vote—I'm stepping down as President, and I'll be excommunicated upon my prison release."

"Oh, no," Tara exclaimed, "I'm so sorry! I should've-"

"Don't sweat it, babe," Jax told her. "I was ready to leave the club, and the excommunication was my idea. These guys will always be my family. I can still hang with them."

"Are you sure that's okay with you?"

"It's totally okay," Jax promised her. "This is our happy ending, Tara. Let's be thankful because this all could've ended so much worse."

"I know," Tara agreed, touching her forehead to Jax's. "I hate that you are going to prison, but I'm just so glad the worst part is over."

"Me too," Jax agreed. "Now, I'd better make my parting speech. Patterson will be here soon."

Giving him an encouraging smile, Tara moved herself and the boys aside so Jax could speak to their large group of family and friends.

"Well, everyone," he started, "I just want to start by saying, I love you all. You've all been there for me, in one way or another, and I can't thank you enough." He paused then, and swallowed hard. "You guys are as much my family as my mother, wife and sons. I wanted to make the Sons Of Anarchy legitimate, and fulfill my father's legacy, and with these men's help," he gestured to the rest of the club members, "Well, I think we've achieved that. And I couldn't be happier. I just wish I could be here for the next seven years instead of prison so I could enjoy it. Which reminds me, my wife just made me even happier when she informed me that she'll be staying here with my sons and we'll continue to live here instead of moving off somewhere."

The large crowd roared and hooted their approval. Jax laughed and let them carry on for a moment before he raised his hand and indicated he had more to say.

"Also, I'm stepping down as President of the Sons of Anarchy, and I will be excommunicated upon my return—by my own wishes," he clarified when he heard several gasps. "This is what's easiest for the club, and what's best for the club."

"Actually, Jackie boy, we took another vote a little while ago."

Jax turned toward Chibs' voice, and found the Scotsman to be wearing the grin of a Cheshire cat.

"As the new president, I proposed we vote to veto the last vote—the one that excommunicates you, brother. We can't have that. The vote passed. When you get out of prison, you are welcome to have a vote, and a seat at the reaper table if you want it, or you're free to leave the club without being excommunicated. Either way, you're family. We can't punish you—not when you've done so much good for this club."

Jax was clearly moved as he walked over to Chibs and grabbed him in a rough bear hug.

"Thank you, brother," he whispered in his ear. He pecked him on the cheek and then proceeded to hug the rest of his brothers. "I can't thank you guys enough. I couldn't ask for better brothers."

"Likewise," Tig said, returning his hug.

The sound of a car pulling up outside shifted the light-hearted atmosphere into a sadder one.

"That's my ride," Jax quipped with a chuckle. Immediately, Tara and Gemma shot forward to have a last hug and kiss from the man they both loved.

"I love you," Tara said, kissing him softly on the mouth. "And I'll be here when you get back."

"I know, darlin'," he smiled. "I know you will. And I love you too."

"You be careful," Gemma said, reaching out to hug him, "I love you, baby."

"Love you too, Mom," Jax returned, kissing her cheek. "You two get along and take care of my boys."

"We will," Gemma said, "You just worry about you. Everything will be fine here."

Tara nodded her agreement and kissed him one last time before he knelt down to Abel to say goodbye.

"You take care of your brother and Mommy while Daddy's gone, okay, big guy?"

Abel nodded and smiled up at his dad, "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, son," he replied. Then he held Thomas for a moment as D.A. Tyne Patterson walked in with an officer to make Jax's arrest official.

Within minutes, Jax was cuffed, read his rights and unceremoniously escorted out the doors of the club's front door.

His family and friends watched in heartbroken silence as he was driven away, and Tara began her long wait for a new beginning with her husband.

If you want on my tag list just let me know! 🙂

Tagging: @mrsfilipchibstelford

[lola-andheruniverse]

AU Thursday - Caryl Fanfiction Rec

The day of reading our favorite two oblivious idiots falling in love on different universes is here!

Fellow caryler, if you read fanfiction, you probably know that our fandom is blessed with some pretty creative and prolific authors who imagine the most amazing AUs - from the top of my head, we've got caryl as time travelers, astronauts, western cowboys, werewolves, bakers, circus artists, tattoo artists, musicians, criminals in prison, one-night-standers-co-parenting-accidental-baby....

And the classic got-away-from-Ed Carol meets stoic-and-shy-mechanic Daryl. Our rec from today gives us this in a diner! It's almost a coffee shop AU, though, because Daryl goes there only to make heart eyes to Carol drink coffee.

I'm talking about the lovely Coffee & Pie by our dear @silversundown2 [9Lives].

Summary: After fleeing her home in the middle of the night, escaping her husband and starting a new life near the slow and easy beaches of the Georgia coast, Carol makes an unexpected connection with one of her customers at the diner.

Rating: E

Word count: 39601

Chapters: 14

Published:June 30, 2016 - COMPLETE

This fic is just excellent! It has angst but also fluff, and it's so fun (like Merle fun)! The characterization of caryl is *chef kiss*. Silver has a way to write them falling in love and working towards their happy ending that is always spot on. Always exactly what we want and need, no matter the alternative universe she created.

If you never read this one, I totally recommend you to do so. And if you had, maybe this is a sign to give it a reread. Don't forget to leave a review to the author while you're at it - short or long, it makes all the difference to them to know you enjoyed something they took time and energy to craft. That's it for today! Caryl on!

[hamevents2024]

Hello! I'm interested in this exchange, but concerned about the lack of detail in the form and on the promotional post.

In my experience with fic exchanges, it’s best to ask participants to list multiple characters & ships they like, to make matching easier. Entirely random matching also seems likely to cause problems, especially with the short list of wants— it’s very likely that someone might only write that they want Lams and end up randomly assigned to a creator who hates it. I’m also concerned that the form doesn’t explicitly ask the participants to list their DNWs. Additionally, you mention trying to find pinch hitters, but don’t ask in your form whether participants want to pinch hit.

Some other important questions: what are the gift requirements? Minimum & maximum word count for fics? Level of detail for art (lineart, flat color, etc)? How important are the prompts— are they mandatory? (If so, it’s worrying that there’s very little guidance on what is appropriate to say in your prompt.) What content is allowed (NSFW, dark fic)? Have the organizers ever run an event before? How do the organizers plan to contact participants? Will fics be organized in an Ao3 collection— if so, why not use their gift exchange matching features rather than random matching?

I really would like to participate in this and see it go well, but I’d like to know more about the requirements & I think more detail is required in the signup form for an event like this to go smoothly.

Hi! Glad to know the posts do reach more people ^_^

In my experience with fic exchanges, it’s best to ask participants to list multiple characters & ships they like, to make matching easier. Entirely random matching also seems likely to cause problems, especially with the short list of wants— it’s very likely that someone might only write that they want Lams and end up randomly assigned to a creator who hates it.

I think you misunderstood the event entirely; it's not a fic exchange, it's a Secret Santa! The fun thing about those is the random aspect, and in a case like a fandom event it might even help people to get out of their own niche! If you truly feel like you cannot create something for a specific ship or character you would know that about yourself before signing up.

I’m also concerned that the form doesn’t explicitly ask the participants to list their DNWs. Additionally, you mention trying to find pinch hitters, but don’t ask in your form whether participants want to pinch hit

I'm unsure what exactly you mean when you say 'the form doesn't explicitly ask the participants to list their DNWs' - it's right there:

(And we've already received great feedback on that that will help the assigned Valentine to create something for them!)

As for pinch hitters - we already have a few, so there's no need to ask for them! Please feel free to message me off anon if you would like to be a part of that behind the scenes team though ^_^

Some other important questions: what are the gift requirements? Minimum & maximum word count for fics? Level of detail for art (lineart, flat color, etc)? How important are the prompts— are they mandatory? (If so, it’s worrying that there’s very little guidance on what is appropriate to say in your prompt.) What content is allowed (NSFW, dark fic)?

Perhaps you have never participated in a Secret Santa style gift exchange either in real life or a fandom, but the consensus for these is usually that you wouldn't gift something of a quality you wouldn't want to receive yourself. We don't see the sense in adding explicit requirements if they might end up intimidating people who would have liked to participate otherwise.

Have the organizers ever run an event before?

We do hope you're happy to know we have run several events in both small and big fandoms before - so no need to worry on that front ^_^ We're sure we can handle an event for a fandom in which approx. 10 people still actively create new works!

If you don't feel comfortable participating in a Secret Santa Valentine with this level of requirements we would love to add you to our team so you can run a fic exchange tailored to what you think is important for it! Please let us know off anon so we can add you to this blog if this is something you would feel like doing ^_^

[geminicollisionworks]

After an offhand line in an old ask of yours, I (with my Althaar-grade understanding of human intimacy) have been trying to work out who in the main cast had the mentioned brief offscreen sexual relationship that will never be acknowledged in-show but regardless affects how these characters are written.

There are easy exclusions, of course, but still many candidates. My current top candidates are Chip and Torianna, because this is something they would, I think, both end up doing, immediately regretting, and mutually swearing never to speak of ever again (though I have to wonder if Fraall, who enjoys flotting with them both, would've mentioned it by now if they had).

Now, I am not asking for an answer (unless my assessment is correct), but how would you feel about humoring me with a clue, namely between which episodes this regrettable encounter has occured?

Hmmmnnn...

Berit & Ian put a few things in Life With Althaar here and there that are... not exactly just to amuse ourselves, but as we've said, as flavor. Though it is also to amuse ourselves. And we've often wondered if any of our listeners will "figure [this background running gag] out."

But we've never actually discussed how to respond if someone does figure out one of our silly things, or comes close enough to want or warrant hints.

Like... the one thing that a certain set of non-recurring characters have in common (which, if you noticed it, would allow you to predict certain things about events involving these characters immediately upon their being introduced).

Or... the [who/what] that is quoted in every episode of Season Three (granted, there are quotes galore in all episodes, we just decided after randomly quoting the same source in 3.01 and 3.02 that we'd keep it up for the season and see if anyone noticed).

But the past "secret" relationship is considerably less random, and while not originally conceived for the show, happened organically in the writing and acting and helped in creating a dynamic between the characters that just felt right.

It is not Chip and Torianna. Though your thoughts on the "why" for them make perfect sense, and it's absolutely in character for them to have had that happen as you laid out (both Chip and Torianna have somewhat long histories and numbers of past brief unsuccessful love affairs). Alt-Universe slash-fic writers, have at it if you like! But in canon Althaariverse, nope, didn't happen. It certainly would fit a number of classic sitcom tropes, but no.

As to Frall's take on it if it had happened, yeah, they might give both parties grief about it, but I like Berit's idea that Frall wouldn't explicitly hassle Chip about the relationship specifically, but if it had happened, that would be the reason behind Frall's constantly flotting with Chip (since Torianna is Frall's closest friend, insofar as an inexplicable, nigh-omnipotent energy being has friends). Frall's actual reasons for needling Chip are, of course, thoroughly Frall-ish and inscrutable.

As to hints to what we have layered in...

It didn't happen between episodes. It happened before the show begins. Years before, in fact.

It was not a one-night-stand, but actual open dating for a short time. It was not "regrettable," but rather nice and sweet, just, in the end, not really right for either in the longer term. It ended very amicably.

Frall, of course, knows, but would never mention it to either, let alone tease. But some others know too, and it has been whispered about, but it never comes up because it would just not be cool.

There are slight verbal felicities between them they don't allow from many others, if any at all, and both have occasionally mentioned personal idiosyncrasies of the other that a friend might know, but an ex would be more likely to.

And that's enough hints. Too many? Is it obvious now?

Personally, as one of us two creators has old flames, preceding our 23 years together, who we remain close to, with no weirdness or tensions, we thought it was a nice, real dynamic that actually happens in our world that isn't so often found in the sitcom form (pace Chloe and James in our beloved Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23), and wanted to explore it, quietly.

Thanks for asking!

[kookaburra1701]

Hi KBfriend <3

Excuse me marching in here unannounced. I decided to send some asks, and well, I thought that perhaps you might also like these questions. (Feel free to answer in your own time or ignore as your spoons allow. <3)

I know we love to talk about breaking the rules in writing and obviously, that not every piece of advice is one-size-fits all, but there is a lot to say about being able to speak with each other about what we have learned during our journey. I was wondering if you wouldn't share. (I also plan on poking some of the others to see what more we can shake out. The more the merrier, no?)

What is the most useful/helpful pieces of advice you ever received during your formal education in relation to writing?

Once you started to write, what was the most important thing that you learned about writing or its process?

Has your real life/job had any influence on your writing? If so, how?

What advice would you give to aspiring writers (be it fanfiction or original)?

Hi friend! Thank you for these asks. I will never turn down an opportunity to natter on about things, my inbox is always open!

It took me awhile to think of one, because the vast majority of my formal writing education was for nonfiction and the little bit of creative writing we were assigned was generally poetry and I HATED poetry as a kid. BUT. I distinctly remember one of my middle school English teacher saying that the worst thing our writing could be wasn't being "bad" (whether technically or narratively) The worst thing our writing could be was boring. I remember her saying she'd rather read 100 bad stories that were interesting, or at least where the author's passion shone through, than one "good" story where nothing interesting happened or the author clearly was just checking boxes about what should happen in a narrative arc. She would forget a good-but-boring story immediately while every terrible-but-interesting-and-passionate story was very unique and memorable. This leads into my answer for question 2...

When I started writing fanfic on FFN waaaaay back in 2002, I realized that some people were going to hate what I wrote no matter what - after all, I hated some perfectly fine fics for reasons that had nothing to do with their quality. The people who wanted to read the things I was writing would find me, and they did! I still have friends from way back then, even though we've all moved on to other fandoms and hobbies. So yeah, that was what I learned - fuck the haters, write EXACTLY what you want, your people will find you. It was heady stuff for someone who was always That Nerdy Weird Horse Girl in school.

Oh yeah. I was a paramedic for almost a decade. I'm now a biologist in a medical pathology department. I definitely use my knowledge of A&P and quite a bit of the trauma I witnessed and ended up being subjected to as part of the USian For Profit Healthcare system. Also, it wasn't ever my actual job (unless you count the under the table farm labor I did for a goat dairy in college) but growing up in a rural farming community and around animals has given me a big interest in the history of agriculture, and I love writing about people doing subsistence farming.

My advice builds off of my answers to 1 & 2. Don't put things in your story or write stories out of a sense of duty. Don't censor yourself because you think it might be "too much" or "turn away readers." Write (and draw and create) what you want with your whole chest. I have devoured fics that were barely readable due to atrocious grammar and spelling about characters I didn't even really like with a premise I thought was stupid and pointless because the author made it interesting, and a big part of making it interesting despite the shortcomings was how much the passion they had poured into it came through, and that they were clearly having a blast the entire time they were writing/channeling their id. This is related to something that kills me when I see it on fanfiction discussion communities especially about fics with explicit sexual content - people snickering about how obvious it is that "the author had their hands down their pants while writing this." MORE HANDS-DOWN-PANTS SMUT I SAY. NO SHAME. So I guess that's my advice. NO SHAME. Want to write the filthiest, most ✨problematic✨ smut ever? NO SHAME, WRITE THAT PORN. Want to tenderly describe every step of the main villain disemboweling a unicorn? NO SHAME, SHOW ME THAT SPARKLE BLOOD. Want to write yourself as the Maryiest Sue who ever Mary Sue'd having fun in the fictional world of your choice? NO SHAME, YOU 👏GO👏GLEN👏COCO! Life is short, and late stage capitalism robs us of joy every chance it gets. Don't rob yourself of joy.

[bigxrig]

Books

Laurels and Liquor by Thora Woods

A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

Fics

Butterflies and Delight by @sunshineandthemoonlight

Zayn points a stern finger at Louis and says, over the top of his beer, “You need to get laid.” He’s curled up in the deep seated armchair Louis had found on Freecycle last year, his wiry body wrapped in a Disney princess-themed blanket.

“You could get Grindr,” Liam chimes in.

Louis almost rolls his eyes at the absurdity of the suggestion. “I have a five year old daughter,” he replies, clutching his mug of tea. “I’m not getting Grindr.”

~

The one where Louis is new to Grindr, Harry loves wearing fun, quirky outfits, and Ziam are always around to convince Louis to take a chance at life. Featuring Harry’s terrible jokes, Louis as a single parent, and glittery drawings of swamp monsters.

soapy lace, let me embrace by MquietMiNd

You know when, in movies, there’s always this character who’s one step away from death? And as it’s nearing they can’t do nothing but pause and relive all of their life, the moments that changed them forever and brought them where they are, as they are. Well, that’s exactly how Louis feels. Feet stuck in place, stunned by the view of what Harry’s holding between his fingers, Louis can’t help but open and close his mouth, wordlessly cursing himself for all the stupid choices he made in his life which led to this moment.

The right words to describe how Louis feels at the sight of his lingerie in the grasp of the last person who needed to see them aren’t written in vocabularies yet.

Or, Louis is tired 24/7 but that doesn’t stop him from crushing over Harry, his neighbor. That is, until an unfortunate accident reveals Louis’ deepest and most well-kept secret.            

Apple of My Pie by @tommokat ​

He takes the tote bag and spins around, finding his destination across the park. He inhales a deep breath and begins the march forward. Or rather, the overly careful walk of which he’s overthinking every step. Is it possible to have a walk of shame before anything has actually happened? Probably not. He’s probably just making that up.

Nonetheless, he feels on edge, like everyone’s watching him make his way across the grass to a table that’s not his own, a place he shouldn’t be.

Until he meets the fair blue eyes of his dreams and all the anxiety just fades away.

can you build me a nest? by fearsparks // @onlythebravest​

“I was serious before, though,” Louis said when he turned back to Harry, reaching out to rest his hands on his hips. “Can you build me a nest?”

“Right. Why do you want a nest?”

Louis shrugged, then looked to the side. “I don’t know. I just…” He shrugged again.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.” Harry cupped Louis’ cheek. “Of course I can build you a nest. But if you want one for yourself, you should build it yourself.”

(Louis comes home after a long day and craves a nest, so he asks his boyfriend to build one for him.)

High Heels On, 'M Feeling Alive by @thebreadvansstuff​

Harry hears the click of the camera snapping his picture and decides to throw his head back for the next one. He cocks his hip a bit to create the illusion of curves and proudly shows the too-small high heels. He decides to go with the classic pose, hand above his hip bone and leg bent back.

The moment he lifts his leg behind himself, the heel comes in contact with hard metal and makes a screeching sound as it drags upwards. Harry jumps around to see a long scratch going up the passenger door of the car behind him, and slaps his open mouth with a hand. "Oh no."

×××

Or, Harry damages a car when drunkenly stumbling home after a fun night out with his friends. Feeling horribly guilty, he tries to find the owner and make it up to him.

Aqueous Transmission by @littleroverlouis​

Louis offers some relief to her pregnant wife, Harry. Then suggests something new.

Savings' What I Need by @jaerie​

We've all had those moments.  A flash of something on the side of the road, a swerve, an instinctual slam on the break pedal.  This is the story of the one time Louis' reflexes were just not quite quick enough and the beautiful white dog that was on the other side of the impact.   He just doesn't know that beautiful dog is Harry.

be the artist to my muse by @forthetherapy​

“I think I’m in love,” Harry says, flopping back to lay on the bench again.

Nick sighs and pats Harry on the head.

“There, there. You’ll forget him in a day or so.”

or

harry has been unsuccessfully pining over louis for a while now, he decides to take drastic measures to get the alluring artist to notice him.

Plant New Seeds by @hellolovers13​

L: i think i might have a watering ghost. There’s water on that plant and it sure wasn’t me

Z: 👻💦 either that or you’re just sleepwalking. Best guess is still the magical plant thing. Lemme know if you find your princess 😘

or

Someone was desperately trying to keep Louis' poor houseplant alive.

Put Your Love In A Bottle (And Send It My Way) by @tommokat​

Today was going to be a good day. Harry just knew it. He knew it was going to be a good day because today was the 28th day of the month. And the 28th days of the month were bottle days. And bottle days were Louis days.

night song by @ohpleaselarry​

Louis’ heart has made it’s decision. It belongs to Harry, in all of his terrifying, cowardly, amazing glory. Perhaps Harry can take it when this is all over, place Louis’ dead heart where his own should be. Proper poetic, that would be. Or perhaps he’ll let it rot right along with the rest of him, toss Louis away and laugh at the pitiful human who’s managed to fall for the wizard who only prays on the beautiful.

Whatever happens to Louis’ heart, he doesn’t care. It’s up to Harry now. It belongs to him; completely.

a Howl’s Moving Castle au

enchanted by @brightgolden​

“My close friends usually call me H,” Harry mumbles suddenly after Louis wraps up his story.

That’s unexpected. “Are you telling me I’m your close friend now?” Louis quips, squinting his eyes at Harry.

OR

Where Louis finally meets his neighbour. After a few conversations, he begins to realise he is too weak to resist the charms of the new mother and his six month old daughter.

some evening in springtime by delcisle // @eeveelou​

Fresh out of veterinary school, Louis moves to a sleepy small town in Texas to take over the local animal clinic. But his new life is quickly interrupted by a middle aged rancher with a bad leg and a mysterious past, who really needs Louis's yoga skills.

Flirting In A Sushi Restaurant by @littleroverlouis​

Bright green eyes slowly blink up at the ceiling and his glossy pink lips are frozen in a small smile. Louis’ eyes trail down from his tattooed collarbones, to his toned chest, and land on the leaf dotted with toro scallion rolls under his rosy nipples. He feels like a bit of a creep hovering a set of tongs over someone’s nipple, but was a sucker for a toro roll. A deep voice startles him as he grabs a second roll.

“Big fan of those I see.”

Louis jerks his hand back, the roll dropping from the tongs and landing on the model's arm with a dull plop.

“Shit, fuck,” Louis stutters.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. My name's Harry.”

Or sushi model Harry flirts with hungry Louis.            

Could We Live With Just A Taste? by @lululawrence​

“Green eyes…” Louis mused in the living room. “I swear I’ll come up with something that rhymes with that soon enough. I will.”

“Oh god, you’ve been smoking. I wouldn’t have come if I’d known you’d been smoking,” Nick moaned as he turned the corner fully and saw the way Louis was sprawled out on the sofa, his head in Harry’s lap as he poked his fingers into Harry’s dimples.

“Nicholas!” Louis cheered, sitting up. “We’ve not been smoking, but we are a little high. Just a bit. Sit here, sit here. I invited you, which means you’re mine tonight, not Harry’s. Got that?”

Nick looked at Harry with his eyes raised. “Am I usually young Harold’s possession? Here I was thinking I was my own person.”

Both Harry and Louis’ faces scrunched up in looks of distaste causing Niall to laugh.

“Possessive fuckers. Let’s just start the film.”

Or the one where Louis, Harry, and Nick all take awhile to figure things out, but they get there eventually.

no gettin through without you by @wannaremember​

Harry doesn’t know what to do anymore; there doesn't seem to be a point to his life. He shouldn't have kept Nick waiting for him - it wasn't fair to Nick.

hungry heart by raspberryoats

"So you're using me and my kitchen for a bigger paycheck?" Harry asks. "What do I get out of it?"

"What do you-" Louis parrots in disbelief. "I get a job that doesn't make me work ten hour shifts just to barely pay my rent while you get three meals a day cooked for you."

"So, what, you're like some glorified housewife?"

Housewife, personal chef, Louis doesn't care. Contract's signed and done; T's crossed and I's dotted. Louis will wear an apron and twirl his hair all pretty if that's what he wants. Even if the job feels more like some drawn out jail sentence, Louis hopes this isn't going to be a long summer.

breathe me in, breathe me out by @lunarheslwt​

Louis was just passing the autumn collection, when an unfamiliar but addicting scent tickled his nose. Cinnamon. He turned as he realised something.

He felt calm. Relaxed.

The permanent agitation that he carried was melting away the more he breathed in the scent, as faint as it was. Consumed by the crazed desire to seek out the specific candle, Louis began picking up candles and sniffing them madly, when a deep voice piped up, startling him.

“Uh, sir, we don’t allow candle fetishists in here.”

Louis froze mid sniff in mortification. Willing himself to not blush, he turned, a retort at the tip of his tongue. Except, it died in his throat as he took in the man before him.

“I uh,” Louis blurted out accidentally, temporarily rendered speechless by the frankly unfairly beautiful man before him. Only at the man’s grin widening did he regain his wits.

“You’re gonna kink shame me?”

Or, Louis is drawn into a quaint candle shop in his desire to find ways to soothe himself while struggling with touch depri. It takes him two more run-ins and with the lovely alpha sales assistant, and a drop, to figure out the source of the scent that imprints upon him and calms his omega. Idiots to lovers

something to dream about by @disgruntledkittenface​

Louis gives Harry something to dream about while she's gone.

more than a mic drop by @haztobegood​

i am easy to find by safetyfilm // @larrieblr​

“Am I bothering you?”

Louis doesn’t have to look up to know who it is, not by the voice. He takes out the final package from the mailbox, a fond grin on his face as he answers, “Love, you could never bother me.” He stacks the package in the crook of his elbow, and looks up, then his smile falls into confusion. “But - wait, you’re supposed to be at work?”

“I finished a meeting, took an early lunch,” is Harry’s excuse, as he comes up by Louis, but not entirely. As if he’d been afraid to touch him.

Louis isn’t one to be observant, but today, now, Harry’s caught his eye, and something tells him to look closer.

Or, where two people try to follow their dreams but time isn't on their side.

untitled i: a drabble by @berzerkshires​

A drabble: Harry's being loud, and Louis has to quiet her.

[vulpinesaint]

i will be for real with you all. the many variations of the "everyone should be commenting on/reblogging my fanfic!!" mindset (and its children, "and if you're not doing that you're a bad person" + "and i am directly tying that to my motivation to write/my self esteem" + "and if you don't do that you are directly harming my motivation to write/my self esteem") are all bad for you. i've said it before! and i'll say it again! there is nothing wrong with reminding an audience, whether it's in the notes of a fic or in a tumblr post, that authors like comments! calls to action are great! it's the anger that i see when people post about how they get no reblogs. or the passive agressiveness in posts about how people will like but not reblog. or posts straight out saying that likes mean nothing. that's the shit that's not working.

first off: it has to be said. you are not entitled to people's time or effort. it's a harsh fucking truth but it has to be said! you're not entitled to the time it takes someone to read your fic, much less comment on it. you're not entitled to a space on someone's personal blog. human beings are never going to do exactly what you want them to because people just don't fucking do things sometimes. and expecting things from the people that read ur stuff (or see your art!) is only going to create a cycle of frustration in which your expectations are continuously left unmet and unmet and unmet, and if you cling to them, you're going to build up that frustration and anger, and it's not going to go anywhere positive. prommy. it's okay to be frustrated with a lack of attention! but then you have to let that go. and accept that any interaction is because people choose to interact, which is more than they can be expected to do.

which leads me to the "likes are worthless" argument. first off telling people that you don't want their interaction is not going to lead to more interaction. second off what the FUCK are you talking about. i know people get upset when people like but don't reblog because it doesn't further their content's reach, but: what the FUCK are you talking about!!!! likes are an acknowledgement that someone saw what you did and they liked it, enough to let you know. isn't that the goal? with a quick reference to the above paragraph (you are not entitled to time/effort/blog space), we have to talk about the way that people structure their intake of validation. likes are good! reblogs get your stuff out to another person's audience, but that enables more likes! any interaction is interaction. and also:

we cannot be basing everything around validation and interaction from strangers. that is only going to do you harm. as i said, your expectations are realistically most often not going to be met, unless you don't set expectations; if you will only have good feelings about something if people give you a certain amount of likes/kudos/comments, a certain amount of reblogs, you're going to end up with negative feelings, because most times, you're not going to get that. and the same way that you build up anger and frustration, you'll build up anything else you tie to that: sadness, worthlessness, however you feel when you don't get something you want. you can't let that control you. you can't live your life with all of your sources of happiness and self-worth rooted in external factors. those things are great for a boost! but you have to love your creative work for its own sake. you have to enjoy sharing things because you enjoy sharing things. it is genuinely not a healthy mindset to hang so much on other people's actions.

and i get it! believe me! i had one big work a while ago that got a bunch of comments with every update and it was absolutely thrilling and i got hooked on that validation. and then it fucking sucked afterward, cause nothing else i did ever got to that point again. it's brain poison! for real! it's the same shit they put in likes on social media, and i'm sure we've all seen the articles or ted talks or whatnot about the dangers of social media addiction! it's the same thing! and what i had to do to get out of that was find validation elsewhere. start investing myself into my creative processes for the sake of enjoying the creative process. train myself into enjoying every bit of interaction i got, rather than setting a threshold at which i could enjoy it. and it's hard work and i have to do it constantly and it fucking sucks but i am so much happier with my fics because of it. living in that disappointment and anger is awful. i promise it's better to fucking. practice gratitude. i hate that shit but it works sometimes.

and also! it has to be said. as a fic writer + reader: the "likes are worthless, everyone should be reblogging/commenting on fics" posts are fucking annoying. make different posts.

[imgeekgirlfan]

Till Death Do Us Part│#TheLastofUs

Pairings:  joel miller x Black!reader [From The Last of Us : TV Series]

Major character death/Heavy Angst/Canon Divergence  

Synopsis: You are Sara Miller's mother (who recently divorced Joel) and your daughter was killed. You blame Joel and want to kill him, but as the Fireflies' leader, you need Joel's help getting Ellie and yourself to Vaccine Research Center #TheLastofUs  

AN: Finally, it's the last chapter of this fanfiction.  It's been a long one, and I want to thank everyone who has been following along throughout, even though my English might have been terrible (sorry not sorry). I hope you'll enjoy the conclusion of this story because I really loved writing it. (From now on, I'll make a Masterlist of my own to make it easier for readers to navigate, and might also post the fic on AO3.)

Taglist: @flaneurpastel​ (If you want to be added in this fic, just tell me in reply)

➡ Previous 

Act 5 : The End of Us (complete)

The End of Us

The end that humans generally have only occurs once, But in your life, there have been two endings. The first end happened on September 26, 2003, and the second end happened today, the last day of your long mission at Colorado East University.

Only you, Joel, and Ellie have chosen to continue the journey together according to Ellie's desires. After the argument at the abandoned house, you gave her a chance to choose whether to stay here and forget about the vaccine or to continue the journey until the mission was completed

"Everything we've done can't be for nothing" Ellie says to you, and that's exactly what you thought too. 

But as soon as your feet stepped out of the Jackson community, your heart swelled with mixed emotions of hesitation and regret. You couldn't deny the desire to stay here and start anew, but you've come too far to turn back now. So, you decided to leave the past and desires behind and look forward to the final day—the end of everything for you.

The cold winter rain drizzled everywhere, and soon it would freeze into white ice on the trees and the streets. The laboratory at Colorado East University had everything a hospital should have: the smell of disinfectant filled the air, rows of medicine bottles, strange-looking laboratory equipment, and even computers that you hadn't seen for a long time. But the one thing missing, which should be the most important thing in this chilling weather, was the heater.

Raindrops fell on the glass window with loud pitter-patter sounds. You stared through the window blankly, as if your mind were empty. The ending had to come; you knew it. You had prepared yourself, resolute and unwavering. but it turned out to be even worse than you had imagined.

"Tell me the truth!" Joel stood in front of you, his body trembling and his voice strained. "Just tell me once, damn it!"

You knew that this situation would happen, but you couldn't help being touched when you replied, "As they said, in order to create a vaccine, we need to extract the mutated spores from her brain..."

"They're gonna cut into the kid's brain, and Ellie will die!" He looked at you, disbelief evident in his eyes, as if you were someone he had never known before. "How the hell could you do this when you know they'll kill Ellie?"

The pain and anger in his reddened eyes, along with the expression like he was about to lose something important in life, reminded you of what happened decades ago. When Sarah died, Joel was like this—desperate and sorrowful.

It hurt to see him like this again. It hurt so much that you couldn't bear to look into his eyes directly. You lowered your gaze, as if it were the only way to hide your grief.

"Ellie knows about this. I'm the one who told her, and she wants to do this."

"But I don't want this, and I know you don't want this either."

A heavy silence filled the room. You wanted to break the suffocating silence with a movement or by saying something, but all you could do was sit there dumbly, right in front of Joel, within arm's reach. Yet, it felt like you were in different worlds, distant and cold.

Joel asked again when he saw you still remain silent, "Just say something!"

This time, you turned your gaze to Ellie, who was on the other side of the clear glass. Ellie would never get to hear what you and Joel were talking about, and she wouldn't see either of you. But you and Joel could see her clearly with both eyes. Ellie's face was calm and emotionless; she was ready for the surgery, ready to sacrifice herself for something greater.

One life in exchange for many others It was a worthwhile exchange.

But Joel wasn't ready, and neither were you.

"You're right. I don't want it," you finally said, turning back to face Joel. "I have to go myself."

Joel hesitated for a moment, his brows furrowing in confusion. He was definitely puzzled. "What do you mean?" His voice cracked in the silence, sounding broken like it came from an old radio.

And you knew it was time. It was time for the truth you had never told him—a truth that Joel deserved to know all along.

You rolled up the left sleeve of your shirt, revealing bandages around your inner arm. In reality, the wound had healed long ago, but you had to keep it bandaged all the time to hide something you had concealed. But this time, it wasn't necessary anymore. You thought that as you unwrapped the bandages with just one hand, revealing the hardened scar caused by a vicious bite from something that was once human.

Joel's eyes widened as he looked at your face and then at the scar. He took a deep breath, his mind processing. "No, it can't be."

"Yes, Joel. It's a miracle," you said, confirming that truth by pointing to your own scar. "I was bitten since we were ambushed that day. In reality, I should have turned into one of them, but I didn't, even though it's been months since it happened."

The whole story happened on that day when you were attacked by Runners while arguing with Ellie. Despite Ellie's managing to save your life in the end, it was still too late because you had already been bitten. Anyone bitten by an infected person had only two options left—either choose to die or become one of them.

Your heart wasn't strong enough for the option of taking your own life. At first, you hoped Joel would handle it for you, but you could see in his eyes that he had feelings for you, and there was no way he could do it for you, even if he could. In the end, it would have been another heartbreak for him, just like what happened with Sarah. The death of a loved one had crushed half of his soul, and you couldn't bear to ask him to sacrifice the remaining tiny piece of his soul for you

So, you made the decision to hand your gun to Ellie and reveal the whole truth to her.  You told her to shoot you as soon as you started showing symptoms, but it turned out that nothing happened to you. Not even the slightest shiver that should have occurred before the transformation into a Runner. That was the moment you realized that you and Ellie had something important in common—a natural immunity to the fungal infection. And it became a secret that only the two of you knew

... until now.

"So, this is what you were talking about with Ellie at the abandoned house," Joel mumbled, still looking puzzled but calmer than expected. However, it turned out that his calmness was even worse than raising his voice and yelling. As he stared at you silently, like the world was collapsing before him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he finally asked.

"Because I knew what would happen if I told you," you replied.

It would have been like what happened between you and Ellie in that abandoned house. Ellie knew your secret, and she also knew what you were considering doing. Even though you never explicitly mentioned your decision

Ellie would never let you die for her. But you wouldn't change your mind either. So, you allowed the journey to continue, making Ellie believe that your decision remained just as before. But in reality, you had already changed. Everyone in Fireflies now knew that you had immunity, and they also knew that you were the one who would enter the operating room, not Ellie.

However, Joel would never accept that either. He sighed heavily. "You don't have to do this, you know?" He hesitated for a moment, realizing that you already knew. And you had made up your mind. "Let's go back to Jackson together."

It would have been so much easier if Joel had been angry with you, but he wasn't. There was no rage or frustration in his gaze and facial expression. However, what he said was even worse for you—it was a desperate plea.

"I can't, Joel. If not Ellie, then it has to be me. There's no other way."

"There has to be," Joel said, hopeful and full of determination. He still believed that the problem could be solved. "If you and Ellie have immunity, then others must have it too. There must be others who have immunity out there. It doesn't have to be just you or Ellie."

You sighed, grappling with yourself to suppress his hope. "I believe there are more people with immunity, but it's impossible for us to find others," you explained firmly. "As soon as they're detected with the infection, they're killed before they even know they're infected."

The infection detection system had been highly developed and rigorous. Many people were killed daily by FEDRA when they were found to be infected. The process of extermination happened immediately, without any isolation for further observation. So, no one had ever lived long enough to find out if they had immunity, except for you and Ellie.

Joel smiled sadly, almost mocking himself because he knew the truth all along. He had burned the bodies of infected people in exchange for food vouchers before. But accepting the truth right in front of him wasn't as easy.

The truth was that one of the people he loved the most, either you or Ellie, had to die today for the cure to be created.

"Joel, please, I know it's hard, but I want you to understand why I'm doing this," you pleaded, holding his hands. You didn't know why you wanted forgiveness from him, even though you knew you didn't deserve it. "I love you and Ellie, and I'm doing all of this for both of you."

Joel turned away, trying to fight back the emotions welling up inside him. You could feel that he was angry, but he looked more saddened. It was with profound regret that he realized he couldn't do anything more to change your mind or change the world.

"I don't want your love if it means you're willing to do something foolish," he said earnestly.

You chose to give him a faint smile. "I've been foolish my whole life; this is nothing new."

One thing you learned from both Ellie and Joel was that people do foolish things when they are angry or fall in love

That could be your definition—foolish

You gently touched Joel's face, trying to capture every detail of the man you had fallen in love with from the first day until now. You observed the beauty and imperfections that made Joel the man you loved all along.

"Joel, both of us have made many mistakes in our lives, but that doesn't mean we won't have a chance to do something right again. And this time is that chance," you said, looking at Ellie through the clear glass. You knew Joel was also looking at her, just like you.

This was the second chance both you and he had been waiting for all along.

You had made your decision. and now you just have to wait for an answer from him.

You turned back to Joel once again, trying to make your trembling voice as calm and certain as possible when you spoke to him. "Promise me, Joel. Take care of her, be her father, and let her grow up in a better world."

Joel stared at you intently, just like he had done when you and he first met in a bar many decades ago. Throughout the time spent together, including the times apart before reuniting, you remained the same in every way, both in appearance and personality. And he still loved everything about you, whether your strengths or flaws.

It had been a long and bittersweet journey that both of you had gone through, looking back at many things that happened and passed. All the reasons that led you and him to this point, The End of Us

And finally, for the previous question, Joel had given himself an answer.

"I promise."

You didn't know exactly when you started crying, but before you knew it, you found yourself sobbing in his embrace. It wasn't because of sadness, but because of the overwhelming emotion. While Joel hugged you tightly, he didn't cry now, but he would when you entered the operating room. That would be the moment when his tears would finally flow.

But you would never know or see his tears again.

"Joel, please don't ruin this again," you pleaded with Joel, using the same words you had said to him the first time you begged him. The sorrow and weariness in his eyes were still the same as back then. Only this time, there was a small smile adorning his face. Joel gently kissed your forehead and whispered back, "I'll do my best."

You were confident that he would never ruin it again.

The End of Us

________________________________

[moorishflower]

it's been ages since I made a playlist for anything but this fic lives rent-free in my head and so here is a VERY short playlist for Giving Sanctuary by @avelera, it is a fic about grief, healing, and love.

if it's true (Anaïs Mitchell ft. Justin Vernon)

And the ones who speak the words Always say it is the last And no answer will be heard To the question no one asks So I ask you as a brother And I ask you as a friend And I ask you as a lover And I ask you once again Is it true what they say?

2. absolute lithops effect (The Mountain Goats)

After one blind season alone in here After one long, sweltering summer I, I'm going to find the exit And I will go to the house of a friend I know And I will let myself forget With a little water and a little bit of sunlight And a little bit of tender mercy, tender mercy

3. like real people do (Hozier)

I had a thought, dear However scary About that night The bugs and the dirt Why were you digging? What did you bury? Before those hands Pulled me from the earth? I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask you, neither should you Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do

4. 100 years (Florence + The Machine)

And then it's just too much, the streets, they still run with blood A hundred arms, a hundred years, you can always find me here And Lord, don't let it break this, let me hold it lightly Give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly I let him sleep, and as he does My held breath fills the room with love It hurts in ways I can't describe My heart bends and breaks so many, many times And is born again with each sunrise And is born again with each sunrise

5. fair (The Amazing Devil)

"I've seen enough," he says, "I know exactly what I want And it's this life that we've created Inundated with the fated thought of you And if you asked me to, if you asked me, I would lose it all Like petals in a storm 'Cause darling I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades At night when light is fading Just to let you know I'm old, waylaid and feels like I am wading Into carpet burns and carousels, Christ you'll be the death of me." And he'll say "Oh, how, oh how unreasonable How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do I spend my days so close to you 'cause if I'm standing here, maybe everyone will think I'm alright."

[purpleturtle9000]

Leonardo being incapable of saying no to Casey Jr is extremely funny but like. Imagine if he learned that from Casey Sr. All little Casey had to do was say 'mama please?' with his big eyes and his mom would let him get away with murder

f!Mikey: a child needs consistency so you guys should agree on the same parenting style f!Leo: well Cass lets him do whatever he wants so- f!Mikey: no

[starsarebleeding]

the trip is over. i'm still processing everything it means.

fundamentally, i feel closer to chet and mary as characters than i ever have. i know i understand them differently, more complexly, more (literally) three dimensionally. i listened to their songs and explored their lives in real time -- traipsed their alma mater and respective twenties, found their alternate future townhouse and the restaurant chet proposes at, bought the MIT shirt mary steals from chet, wandered the streets they wander, felt them everywhere. everywhere.

but also, i honoured myself -- my wild 17 yr old self who had absolutely no idea what the next 20 years would bring and would never have truly predicted fibs would be there with me (she would've been real smug about it though) -- my recovering, sparkling 29 yr old self who (finally) thought to write an alternate future where chet is alive and, carelessly, set it in boston -- my 22 yr old self who painstakingly timelined mary's graduate degree and fell in love with the thought of them having a year of long distance between ellsworth and new haven. and so many of me before, after.

i wanted to celebrate them, and my love story with them, and i did it. i created and fleshed out the narrative; i booked the trip (and dragged v along with me lol). i've never needed a fandom or anyone else to keep them alive (which isn't to say i didn't love having v there for this trip and for the past 20 years, or the fic kami and jess wrote so lovingly for me back in the day) ---- but it's impossible in a lot of ways to disentangle where i end and they begin. they're so part of my heart and my confidence and my passion for life, and we've evolved so much alongside one another, that it's pointless to try.

i can't tell anyone in real life why i took this trip really, but i can say it was to celebrate. for the girl i was 20 years ago and every girl since -- i honoured them, and i honoured myself. fibs is at the core of who i am, and wherever i go, whatever the next way they flame up, permeate, prism will be -- i have everything i need in me. this trip was a celebration of exactly that. ❤️

i wish a lifelong ship on everyone. it has been the greatest gift of my life.

[tripleyeeet]

you might refuse to answer my anon message but i'd rather communicate that way for my own safety bc your kind of people tend to send people 💀 threats when they feel the need to get defensive or when they have nothing else to say so they sink to that level of insults. i didn't insult your friend, all i told her was to stop complaining (not getting interaction) over something she willingly chose to do (write fics). if that is insulting to her then she really needs to outgrow that child mentality and entitlement. maybe it stems from something else but idc. i wasn't talking about anything other than her complaining over not getting a round of applause for subpar writing. once again, good day. 💋

oh my god, so sorry my fucking liege for sleeping instead of responding to your message right away. jesus christ.

first, i'd like to preface this message by saying i will never be the kind of person to stoop to the level of death threats. no one deserves that. however, i will stoop to the level of arguing with a faceless entity because some people like yourself deserve a good ol' reality check on how the internet works, and how sending shit like this can be harmful to one's mental health.

because you claim this isn't about mental health. it's about entitlement, which babes, is all i see coming out of your mouth. like, yes, you're a writer like all of us and oh my god, yes, unlike you i don't ask for comments or reblogs! wow, good for you! at least one time in your life you've known when to shut the fuck up!

so why can't you practice that in this situation? why can't you, instead of coming for other writers and acting all high and mighty and tearing them down, can't you just shut the fuck up and stay in your line? or better yet, if you do decide to swerve into oncoming traffic why can't you identify yourself? why can't you put a username to face so that we can see who the absolutely shitstain who's sending all this hate is?

it's because you're a coward, and a very entitled one at that because you think your opinion should matter. that, they way someone produces and interacts with their own content should suddenly be about you and how you feel.

WELL, FYI IT DOESN'T. people can do whatever the fuck they want which means, yes, obviously you can come into people's inboxes and say whatever you want with little consequence. you can pick and choose who to bully because that's your prerogative. 

however, that doesn't excuse your behaviour. that doesn't excuse the fact that the language you use in your posts is harmful and gross. that doesn't excuse the amount of damage you do when you jump on anon and write the absolute filth to these people who, most likely, use tumblr as an escape.

because half the shit you say doesn't make sense. to quote something, if i may (and i will, this is my tumblr and i curate my own experience -take note)

if she truly wants a standing ovation for basic ass fics, perhaps she should become a real author and actually have fans who give a damn about her work and will praise her for it.

ah yes, the ol' become an author like it's easy. do you understand how stupid you sound telling someone their writing "sucks" and then telling them to write a book in the same sentence? do you know how hard it is to write a book? to just lay down a couple thousand works and gain a fandom? it's not fucking easy. and for you to just be so blase about it is ridiculous because this is exactly what authors like us (not you, you special little snowflake) are talking about when we "beg" and "plead" for interaction.

you may be fine being this writer who's silent about when and how they get activity but some people just aren't. some people need to have that sense of community. to have comments and reblogs and to gain that feeling that they've made something special. we all feel that way from time to time when we post a fic. we crave the praise at least a little bit because we've literally created something! we've sat down and typed and made this cool thing, so why wouldn't we want to hear about it? why wouldn't we want someone to stumble upon it and say "wow good job!"

so for you to come into people's spaces and judge how it is they're asking for the bare minimum that's deserved of creators is selfish. because it literally has nothing to do with you.

and i know you probably don't give a shit. obviously you're just going to read this message and laugh and pick apart how wrong i am to develop a counter argument. it's what everyone fucking does when they think they're in the right.

so, i'll just end this by saying i'm here if you ever need to talk, but only off anon.

[shenyaanigans]

xiao :3c

HELLO SORRY, i had to take three to five business day to reply to this because. you know. you know it was gonna be long. anyways!! under a cut!!

First impression

so unfortunately xiao is like. My Type. he is extremely distant and a bit haughty but on the inside he has this sense of wistfulness, nostalgia, and all around gentle aura. he is self-possessed but his flaw is that he cares a bit too much for others as opposed to too little. and also when you tease him he squawks like a little bird. also he is physically very beautiful in a feminine way, and yet has masculine features (triangular body, well defined muscles typically associated with men).

so all that is to say. i liked him from the jump and i wanted him so fucking bad when he first came out.... he is still one of my best built units, despite that i play on mobile and he is very hard to use there!!

Impression now

BASICALLY exactly the same, except the chasm quest made me have a deeper appreciation for his calmness and also his whump potential.

Favorite moment

THE CHASM THE CHASM THE CHASM THE CHASM!!!!!! LItERALLY THE BEST CUTSCENE IN THE GAME!!!!!!!

i know that's dramatic but i mean it, his attempted sacrifice at the end of the chasm quest where he saves everyone and is ready to die is like. quite literally the best cutscene in the game for me, and it will probably never be outdone. i think what i love so much about it is that like. ok hold on.

not to praise genshin's writing but like, something they've been doing recently, particularly with xiao and now wanderer, is they have quests that read like they're character end points up until there's a bait and switch. with xiao, the entire chasm quest is about him trying to find bosacius, the lost yaksha, and remember what happened to him--it's the promise all the yaksha made with each other, that they would see each other's lives through to the end. and xiao DOES find bosacius, he gets to recreate the battle that happened all those years ago--the one that finally ended bosacius's life, and while it isn't exactly the same, he still gets to fulfill his promise.

and throughout the entire quest, xiao is putting up all sorts of death flags right: asking about creating a will, arguing with everyone about sacrifice, yelan saying, "you only sacrifice yourself when you know for sure it would save everyone; otherwise it's needless" or something to that effect.

so like when xiao does the thing where his power is waning and he realizes he could get everyone out if he sacrificed himself, of course he does it. and narratively, this works REALLY well with everything going on in the scene: we see him repeat the words that he did when he was a yaksha, calling out "general alatus, falling in!" we see his memories with zhongli. we see that he's made his decision. and when the platform breaks and he starts to fall back into darkness, there is a look of utter relief on his face... true peace dawning upon him, knowing his friends are okay, and also--based on everything we've seen--that his suffering can be over.

and then zhongli goes in and saves him.

there's something really really heartwarming about it. like this whole story should be the terminus. he has lived a life of pain and he has been ready to die for it and now he gets to die for it. except zhongli intervenes. and suddenly this event is not documenting the end of his life, but the beginning of a new one. and it just. MAN. EDJHEFJEDSHJS

sorry i knew this answer would get long but i think about this like five times a week. xiao is so beloved in teyvat and it doesn't occur to him for so long that maybe he's allowed to have love. man.

Idea for a story

i rly rly want to write a post chasm fic where he and zhongli go on a walk. like there's a couple of lines that i can see in my head and i just want to write the rest. i want that heartwarming good stuff with xiao.

Unpopular opinion

LOL so i am full of unpopular opinions about xiao but the big one is that i don't think he sees he hates himself the way people categorize self-hatred. he has an ambivalence towards himself and his life that is painful to witness, because the passive suicidal ideation intrinsic in that is very loud, but the very big "omg he hates himself so much, he is so sad all the time" emotions people project onto him make me feel vaguely uncomfortable, because he isn't like that.

the way his repression works as well is very matter of fact. like he does not conceive of these things as pain points, they are straight up facts of life. adepti are above desire, so therefore he does not have any. yaksha were meant for war; therefore he is a weapon, nothing more. if he is around people he will kill them. he needs to keep his distance. the kind of sadness he has is very understated and it isn't something he readily talks about NOR is it something that i think he even acknowledges.

Favorite relationship

VENZHONGXIAOOOO!!!! VENZHONGXIAO!!!! i'm usually not an ot3 kind of guy in fandoms; i've just never had three relationships that i felt were equally interesting to one another. but i like. can't pick between venzhong, venxiao, and zhongxiao; all three of them are so good and interesting and they're even better when combined.

Favorite headcanon

bc xiao is my little skrunkly i unfortunately am obsessed with him being very sensitive like everywhere. not being used to soft touches, i imagine he's quite ticklish. i also think it'd be cute if he had allergies to non-liyuen plants because he's not used to being outside of the country. imagine the traveler takes him to inazuma and he's incapacitated for a few days because he can't stop sneezing LOL

[thistlecatfics]

I posted 850 times in 2022

121 posts created (14%)

729 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@broomsticks

@thistlecatfics

@billsfangearring

@lqtraintracks

@kissingartemis

I tagged 544 of my posts in 2022

Only 36% of my posts had no tags

#hp - 199 posts

#hp fic rec - 64 posts

#thistlecat fics - 44 posts

#sirius black - 42 posts

#wolfstar - 39 posts

#blackcest - 27 posts

#hp fests - 27 posts

#remus lupin - 26 posts

#pansy parkinson - 25 posts

#drarry - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#have we not all spent our lives studying body language and speaking patterns to better adapt in any situation????

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

There were SO MANY fics for @hprarepairfest this year (56!). Trying to keep up with the fest was like drinking from a rarepair firehose. I’m splitting my rec list into three: Bratty Femmes, Angsty Boys* and Giggles with Gilderoy*  (*and others). This specific rec list is 90% Narcissa and Pansy having great sex and making bad decisions. 

Absolute favorites marked with **

Femslash:

**Looking For A Complication by @the-wig-is-a-metaphor (Ginny/Narcissa, 8k, M)

"Mother, when I said you should get out more," Draco shouts, "I did not mean you should have an illicit affair with a scandalously younger woman!"

I already made a whole rec post for this one. Humor, heart, heat. The fic has it all. One of my new all-time favorites. 

This Regret We've Got Accustomed To by mouldy_voldy (Il_Valentino)(Astoria/Pansy, 1.5k, E) 

“He may be my best friend, but you are the fucking love of my life,” Pansy snarls against her lips and then closes the distance. The kiss is more teeth and want than anything, but her lips are just as Astoria remembers, the taste of her enough to induce euphoria. She can’t remember ever wanting anything as much as she wants this. Pansy won't let her forget.

Little fic packs a (very sexy) punch. Pansy is SO HOT in this. 

Fate & Jupiter by thewakeless (Parvati/Lavender & Padma/Katie, 25k, T)

Padma and Parvati might not agree on everything, but they know one thing for sure, they’re both ready for a change. Padma is worn out from her Ministry job, and Parvati is tired of pining after Lavender 24/7. So, they decide to open up a potion shop in Hogsmeade but of course nothing goes quite as planned because you can’t stop fate, and you certainly can’t stop Jupiter.

Or wholesome double getting together wlw with strong winter vibes

Bit of a stretch to include this in bratty femmes but it was so darling, and Lavender is very much a femme and a bit of a brat in this in a lovely way. Wholesome and very queer, and I now have a crush on butch Katie Bell.

Het:

**Your Cigarette Smell by @lumosatnight​ (Sirius/Narcissa, 10k, E)

It’s easy, she thinks.

Falling into each other while their family falls apart. Lips connecting while other connections fizzle away. Losing themselves to pleasure while the rest of the world grows lost to war.

Bodies sliding together as months slide by.

It's exactly what I love about Sirius/Narcissa - the sense of desire and shame and duty and fury and hate and love! And the tragedy of it all! I loved how the author wove together the nonlinear narrative, which gave the fic a haunted and inevitable quality - very doomed lovers bound by fate vibes.

Table For Two by maeshowers (Sirius/Pansy, 3k, E)

Pansy isn't having a good time at Draco and Hermione's wedding. Neither is Sirius. Maybe copious amounts of alcohol and a good fuck could change that.

It’s fun, and it’s hot, and it’s Pansy/Sirius. I love a messy friend group full of ex’s (because I am a lesbian), and I absolutely adore how much of a brat Pansy is here: “I led your godson on for months because I wanted to fuck his wife." Incredible!

Disparities by @mean-whale-writes (Remus/Narcissa, 2k, E)

As much as he sometimes tried to spin the truth into something more palatable, he enjoyed the immorality of fucking the enemy.

Hot and dangerous and unexpected - perfect for rarepair fest!

Slash recs on their way in the “angsty boys” category :) 

28 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

#4

one of my goals for 2022 is to do more fic recs with pretty banners so here is my first!

Did You Miss Me? by @krethes and Fantismal

Fully written and will be 600k (!!). Wolfstar + Jily + other side pairings.

It’s a text fic for grownups. It’s a text fic and university AU and celebrity AU that I love and am fully invested in, which is utterly shocking to me as someone who generally avoids all of those things. You’ve got a hilarious cast of characters who love to text smutty, gossip-y things AND you have the promise of Big Plot and Big Black Family Trauma on its way.

You’re going to want to follow along with this one!

Check it out, mind the tags (like seriously, mind the tags) and subscribe <3

29 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

#3

Acting Out (Molly Prewett/Narcissa Black, 2k, M)

Narcissa’s to-do list for the evening:

Drink enough champagne she forgets she ever had more than one sister. 

Make someone cry. (Does not count if it’s herself.) 

Be told she is the most beautiful woman at the party. (Preferably by multiple people.)

Have sex that would scandalise her parents. (If they would even pay attention.)

Day 9: @kinkuary’s age gap + @hpshipuary’s Molly/Narcissa + Fluffbruary’s stiletto + Femslash Feb’s vintage. 

cw: underage, dub con due to deception and underage. 

AN: Molly is fat, and Narcissa is into it, but Narcissa’s also 16 and a vain, judgmental bitch, and some of her narration might cross the line into both being fetishizing and stigmatising. This is also slightly canon-divergent as in this universe Molly has not yet married Arthur at age 21.

32 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

#2

breaking my no 500+ kudos rule for this series of fic recs for my all time top drarry

Super Rich Kids by @thusspoketrish​ (81k, E, Drarry)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Post-war Drarry with major (deliberate) Bright Lights Big City + Gossip Girl + Cruel Intentions + Bling Ring vibes. Of course I’m obsessed. The author manages to excel at the mood, plot, characterization, angst, world-building, sex, AND humor??? Is there anything the author can't do?? I cannot emphasize enough how this fic has EVERYTHING. Do mind the tags, as always.

It’s hot and dark and hilarious and moving. Draco with a coke habit and a heart is everything. Good guy Harry (through Draco’s biased eyes) is also everything. And a stunning, classic fanon!Pansy, my beloved. Plus, there’s Sprinkles the dog, who is the star of the show. (The dog lives, if you were worried.) 

This line has haunted me since I’ve read it:

"Draco knows he’s not a good person, and will never be good enough for Harry.

He’s right where he should be."

Read it on Ao3 so you can be equally haunted <3 

47 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

my date cancelled last minute so now I’m just hot and dressed up and drinking pinot grigio and writing harry potter fanfiction on a saturday night <3 

72 notes - Posted February 26, 2022

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