#fic: memoirs from the end of the world

[bluerthanvelvet444]

ᯓ★⋆˚🅰🅿🆁🅸🅲🅸🆃🆈⋆｡˚ ⁀➷

(Peter Maximoff x fem!reader)

tags: smut with plot and a bit of fluff in the end.

warnings: subby!Peter, restraints, handjob, fingering, riding, p in v, denied orgasm, praise, mentions of abuse, mentions of alcohol, mentions of fight, swearing.

summary: Peter gets captured by the villains. This fic takes place after x-men apocalypse and before x-men dark phoenix.

character count: 19k.

full fic under the cut ↓

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Memoir. What’s its provenance? What is it?

According to scientists, memories are “formed as a result of connections between neurons in the brain”. The poet Sylvia Plath, instead, “sardonically embraced the most horrific and vulgar fragments from the storehouse of collective memory”. The great philosopher Aristotle believed that “memory is like a writing that remains etched in wax, and whose inscriptions remain more or less durable”.

Although you continually researched and seeked in books for the perfect depiction, you weren’t able to find anything that could comply with your personal belief. You were staunch that memories are, in fact, the mirror of our being. Disgraceful memories, glorious ones…they’re both needed to construct the way we act, the way we think, and the way we are. You had always been involved in memoir personally, because of your quirk. You had the marvelous capacity of intruding into one’s memories. You couldn’t directly change or interact with them, instead, you could see, reproduce, assimilate and mimic them. Phenomenal, isn’t it? You may think it is but, your biggest gift to you was, in fact, your biggest ruin. Your life started its downgrade the exact moment you found out about it. You remembered it all.

You were standing small in front of your mother, who had either fallen asleep or passed out. The bottle of cheap tequila in her hands made both answers valid. You were just a kid but you knew it wasn’t easy. Your father had left when you were just a fetus in your mother’s womb. Since then, she had never been the same. All the bills, the rent, expenses were on her. Her job exhausted her and the little time she had left, she spent drowning her worries in alcohol. She didn’t need any more problems, so you never told her about that awkward energy growing inside of you. That particular day you felt it bigger than ever, the need to find out what it led to even stronger. So you put your tiny fingers on her temples, as the little voice in your head told you to, and you started seeing. All of your mother's life was flashing in front of your eyes quickly. You stopped at one particular memory, you inspected it. Your mother stood pregnant in front of a man that kept yelling at her. You put the pieces of the puzzles together. It was clear, and the new knowledge of the situation triggered something inside of you, inside of your power. You kept replaying and replaying the scene, tears in your eyes, as the man’s words dissolved from the memory and came directly out of your mouth. That woke your mother up, she was holding her head as the same image kept banging in her mind, and as the man’s voice spit those known words harshly from your little mouth. She yelled for you to stop, and you lowkey wish you never did. As soon as you stopped, she grabbed you and threw you inside of-what you playfully called-the dark room, your basement.

“I-I’m sorry…I can’t-you’re him…I-I see him-” Her words came out broken from her mouth, her sobs stopping her mid-sentence as she locked you inside.

That became a habit since then. You grew up in the “dark room”, hardly ever going outside if not to eat and respond to natural calls. Your main activity was watching TV and day-dreaming about the outside world. You knew it was better than what you were living, it had to be. Especially because you found out that you weren’t crazy or evil but that you simply belonged to a different species. They called them mutants.And apparently, there was a school for kids just like you, the interviews of the famous Charles Xavier were the ones you liked watching the most on TV. As the years went by, your urge to run away grew more and more, and so you did. One day in the early 70s, you grabbed all of your things and left, taking advantage of your mom’s blackout. You took different taxis and avoided the questions about your young age, and you were finally standing in front of Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. Although, it seemed different from what you saw on TV: it looked abandoned, the plate with the name on it rusty and absentmindedly resting on the ground, and the gates closed. You tried peeking inside, before being startled by an unfamiliar voice behind you.

“Don’t waste your time. They can’t help you anymore, but we can.”

This is how you found yourself with a group of mutants who had the exact same hopes you had, before they were broken by the closure of the school. You were guided by The Captain-that is how he wanted to be called-that was trying to create a new safe place for young mutants. And his plan seemed to work, kid mutants were actually starting to come…before Xavier’s school opened again. At this point, your group desperately found itself in front of the school’s gate again. You were dismissed,though, by a blue beast mutant.

“We’re sorry, the school only accepts young kids between 5 and 17-” He told you before turning his back.

“You can try and talk to Charles though, I’m sure he will find some space for y-'' He stopped seeing you had all left.

This is why The Captain’s plan was ever created in the first place. He believed that Charles Xavier was a man only drawn by his personal needs, and that he only used the young mutants to gain popularity and be idolized by the US government.

“This is why we were rejected. Our powers aren’t conventionally pleasing. No human kid would ever desire our powers. So if he believes our gifts can’t be used for good, we won’t use them for good.” He spoke firmly to you all.

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Your flow of memories was interrupted by The Captain.

“We’ve captured one. You will watch him while we take care of the others. Do your thing on him and find out his weakness.” He spoke with a deep voice.

You nodded and began making your way downstairs before he gripped your wrist.

“Don’t disappoint me, Y/N.” You felt his piercing gaze in your eyes.

“I won’t.” You gulped and quickly left the room.

When you opened the door you scanned your surroundings. The room was all white, with petty furniture. No windows, a table, a chair, a small closet, and a bed which had a figure laying down on it. You inched closer and scanned the boy. His eyes closed, he was probably knocked out, a few bruises on his skin, his hands and legs restrained by the strong collars around them… he looked your age, his hair was silver with some goggles resting on them. He had a pleasant face to look at, if the circumstances had been different you could’ve even admitted that he was pretty attractive. He was wearing a black protective suit, probably X-men’s equipment, you guessed. The more you observed him, the more you were confused. You expected them to capture the great Mystique, the glorious Magneto…not a newbie. You sighed and started walking towards the desk, ramaging in your bag for a sleeping pill so that you could do your magic without being interrupted.

Peter slowly opened his eyes, he could feel his body sore from the previous fight. He started to panic as he didn’t recognize his surroundings. He tilted his head forwards, noticing the person standing in front of the desk.

“H-hey…! Ppsttttt…Lady! Yes! You! Lady!” You heard his desperate calls.

You walked towards him and stopped at the side of the bed.

“Hi! So there’s a bunch of bad people who captured me and probably want to beat my ass-” You stopped him mid-sentence.

“I know.” You replied with a monotone voice.

“You-you know?! Don’t tell me you’re one of ‘em- oh shit! You’re one of ‘em! C’mon you have to be kiddin’ me…you’re too pretty to be mean! Hey! C’mon help me!” He rushed, his hands and legs squirming at high speeds against the restraints. You didn’t budge at his compliment, instead, you were focused on his movements.

“A speedster, huh.” You mumbled.

“A speed…A speedster?! Babe I'm not a speedster- I’m the speedster! Quicksilver! Peter Maximoff! The one and only!” He replied cockily, almost as if he was offended by your lack of knowledge. You raised your eyebrow, clearly having no clue of who he was.

“Aah babe you’ve got to be kiddin’ me! I’m Quicksilver! The one who beated Apocalypse’s ass! I did it all myself heh- I’m basically a hero, everyone loves me. Don’t ya watch TV or what?” Even though you had no idea who this guy was and what he did to be part of the X-men, you could sense the exaggeration in his words.

“I prefer books.” You shrugged before turning your back and making your way to the desk again.

“Hey! Hey! Where ya goin’?! Are ya a mutant too? Hey, yer not gonna hurt me aren’t ya?! What’s your power? C’mon tell me…What’s your power? Whaddaya do?!”

You rolled your eyes as his continuous questions started to annoy you.

“Will you shut up and let me do what I need to do?!” You snapped while holding between your thumb and index the sleeping pill. His pupils dilated.

“Whoa-whoa…let’s chill down a bit, yea? No need to use that, babe. Ya just gotta ask and I'll do whatever you want me to do.” He said with a smirk forming on his face. You sighed.

“Close your eyes and stay still.” You began pressing your fingers against his temples.

“...Will it hurt?” He said with a nervous smile, big brown eyes looking up at you.

“It doesn’t have to.”

Just like that you were thrown into Peter’s memories. You saw his child self, his mom, his sister…his first time using his powers…Magneto…many memories about Magneto, weird. You decided to dig a little deeper. You replayed the memory where he found out that…

“Magneto is your father?!” You exclaimed, visibly surprised.

“Hehe, I guess…so that’s your power?” He said with a tiny chuckle.

You kept thinking about what you just saw. You never saw a direct contact between Peter and Magneto, so you supposed he didn’t know about his son. That could’ve easily been used against him, you had to tell The Captain. You walked towards the table and gathered your bag.

“That’s a cool power…I’ve never heard ‘bout it. Actually, I’ve never heard ‘bout ya either…do ya have a supervillain name? Why didn’t ya fight with the others?” The words fell rapidly out of his lips. You gulped.

“Just Y/N. I don’t fight with the others. My powers weren’t made for physical combat.” That’s true, they hardly ever let you come with them on missions. You were useless for superheroes as much as you were for supervillains.

“Pffffttt…that’s bullshit! Ya can do those cool things with yer mind! Ya totally have to meet Charles, he’s gott-”

“Charles? Charles’s a selfish man who puts his needs first. I don’t want anything from him.” You scoffed.

“Wha-what? Are ya out of yer mind? Have ya ever even met Charles? He’s the coolest. I was literally a loser who lived in his mom’s basement before meeting him. Always been cool though.” His words made your blood boil, hearing that he didn’t hesitate to help him but discarded you immediately. You told Peter your story, how you truly believed Charles was gonna save you but ended up breaking your inner child’s heart. Your eyes started to water as memories flooded in front of your eyes.

“Hey-I-I’m sorry that happened to ya but- hey- if I get outta here alive, I promise I will take you to the school. The professor will help ya, he always does.” You looked at him, a tiny glimmer of hope appearing in your eyes even though you knew that you couldn’t leave.

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You spent all your day talking to him. He was funny, you had to admit. The nicest company you had ever had. He told you about his family, how he joined the X-men, everything. And before you knew it, the night came.

“Oh uhm. You should get some sleep, you’re probably exhausted.” You said while getting up, ready to leave.

“Wait- uhhh…I can’t really sleep with this armor thingy on. It’s uncomfy.” He complained.

“Oh. Right, I can bring you some clothes. But I…can’t untie you. It’s the rules.” You shrugged.

“No need to. I usually sleep naked.” He winked at you.

“...” You contorted your face, not really knowing how to respond.

“HA! Gotcha. Just kidding. I sleep in my boxers.” He said with a proud grin on his lips.

“...I’ll bring you clothes.” You said before being interrupted again.

“No! Seriously, I just need to take my clothes off.”

You raised your eyebrow.

“...Not because I’m a creep. Simply because my speed speeds my body’s functions, and by speeding it highs my temperature so I get hot.” He spoke as if it was obvious.

“...Right.” You sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.

“How does this thing open?”

“W-whoa whoa…you-are you gonn- wait-” He stuttered as his cheeks slightly reddened.

“You said you wanted your clothes off, and I’m not gonna risk getting scolded by The Captain by freeing you.” You sighed. He gulped and pointed where his zipper was.

C’mon Peter…ya can do this, buddy. Ya just need to focus, yea? Don’t let a fine chick undressing ya speed yer speedy hormones, mh? Peter thought to himself. Your hands gripped the zipper and started pulling it down. Stay focused soldier. His broad chest was revealed as you slowly undressed him. You stopped at his abs to hop on the bed and take his shoes off. As you leaned to pull his boots, your arm slightly brushed his crotch. Holy fucking mother of all the fucking mutants, fuck. She barely touched ya and yer already growing hard, Peter? Must be tha speedy genes, yea, has to be. Totally not has nothing to do with ya being a virgin in your 20s. Nuh-uh. Goddamn you, Peter!

You threw his shoes on the floor, and started pulling his suit down again. You let your gaze linger as he was half-naked in front of you. He was wearing boxers with lightning bolts on them, a tiny chuckle escaped your mouth at that.

“Someone’s excited.” You said with a playful grin on your lips as you pointed at the prominent bulge in his boxers.

“Hey! Not my fault ya got all handsy- how did ya expect me to react?” He said with a tiny blush on his cheeks, he was so cute.

“...And it’s the speedster genes, by tha way. They call me Quickie for a reason.” He replied, annoyed because of how embarrassed he got.

“Do you need help?” You suggested. It may have been wrong, since you were “enemies” and you barely knew each other but…when are you gonna have another cute speedster all for you again?

“DoIneedawhat-” He blurted out, not believing what he just heard.

Your lips curled up in a smirk, and before he could process anything, your fingers grazed his crotch through his underwear.

“Oh- fuck- yea…yes-” He moaned, you giggled.

“So eager, mh?” You teased him by pulling his waistband up and then leaving it smack against his skin. He groaned and nodded, he was so worked up by nothing. You undressed him of his boxers too, his shaft springing free against his stomach, leaving him naked on the bed. His hips bucked up in search of friction. You grinned and gently took his dick in your hand, slowly pumping it.

“Aaah…f-f-yes…please…faster…” He whined.

You giggled and leaned in to kiss his lips gently, muffling his pleas. You started speeding your movements, and he deepened the kiss as his moans rolled off his tongue. As you made out, you could hear the sound of his hands desperately squirming against the restraints.

“Please…let me touch you…” He whimpered, big puppy eyes gazing up at you.

“Mh…sorry, can’t do, baby. It’s the rules.” You smirked and leaned in to peck his lips again. You stopped and sat up to pull off your shirt. He groaned at the sight. You took him in your hands again and fasted your pace even more.

“O-oh..f-fuck...gonna…gonna cum babe…c-cant hold it in…ahh..” You giggled and sped up even more, your mouth working hungrily against his, eating up his moans. He came with a loud groan, muffled by your lips. He kept whining after that.

“Pleasepleaseplease…wanna please ya too…lemme…I’m good at it- I promise…I’m basically a human vibrator-long lasting rose toy- please…” You giggled and nodded, pecking his lips. You took off your pants, before untying one of his hands. He groaned and immediately pulled you closer, his hand making its way under your panties. He suppressed a moan by biting his lip as he felt your slick with his fingers. He gently started circling your clit, and after he heard a few moans of confirmation from you, he began buzzing his fingers against it.

“Ooh…f-fuck…just like that, baby, don’t stop…” You moaned, he answered with a cute whine. He looked up at you, his middle finger gently pushing at your entrance, not fully sliding in. You nodded and bit your lip to suppress any more unholy sound coming out of you as his fingers started to fuck you slowly.

“F-fuck…” You threw your head back. He was gazing up at you with parted lips, as if he had never seen something so breathtaking. He kept picking up the pace, until you stopped his wrist and tied it up again.

“Wha-Wait-Why..? Y-you didn’t like it?” He said with his silver brows furrowed, he was lost and scared of what your answer could’ve been.

“Oh, it was fucking awesome, baby. But I wanna use something else to come, yea? Will you let me do that?” You said in a cooing voice, clearly driving his mind crazy.

“Mhm…yesplease…” He nodded, his gaze not daring to leave your body.

You undid your bra, his eyes widening, and straddled his hips. Your entrance just above his cock. He groaned at the sight, his shaft fully hardening again. You smiled and slowly sinked in, until your hips met his.

“Aaah…w-warm…so warm n’tight…mppph…” He moaned loudly.

You grinned and started slowly sliding your hips up and down repeatedly, reaching a stable pace. You moaned as you started speeding up, yet it wasn’t enough to satisfy you fully.

“Mhh…baby…mind helping me a little?” You said looking down at him.

He moaned and nodded. He started superspeeding his hips to meet yours as you bounced on his cock. The new sensation making you moan loudly.

“Ohhh! Fuck! Just like that, baby…such a good boy…” You groaned as you felt yourself closer. He let out a tiny whimper as he heard your praise and kept speeding up, his wrists and legs straining against the collars, forming tiny red lines.

“Fuckfuckfuck…can i cum? P-please-ah…?” He whined.

“Mhhh...not yet- baby…let me finish first…” You smirked.

He groaned and sped up even more, trying desperately to bring you to the edge. He hissed as he felt that knot in his stomach urging to snap. It didn’t take much for you to come undone. You cried out as you were still jumping up and down at lightning speed. As soon as he felt you clenching around him, he moaned loudly, as he was just about to cum. You quickly pulled him out of you and allowed him to spatter his fluid on your body. He panted heavily, droplets of sweat sinking from his forehead to the mattress. You waited a few moments before grabbing a towel and cleaning you both. You laid down on the bed with him, moving his head on your chest as you ran your fingers in his silver locks, whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

“You're my apricity.” You said while caressing his hair and pecking his temple. His eyes were closed, and he was clearly drifting off to sleep.

“Mh?” He mumbled, not moving one single part of his body, still restrained.

“Apricity. I read that in a book.” You chuckled.

“In simpler words?” He mumbled.

“The warmth of the sun in winter.”

“In even simpler words?” He muttered, his voice coming muffled by your chest.

“My life is the winter, you are the warmth.” You admitted. He didn't answer to that. You weren't sure if he actually understood the concept or even just your words, but one thing you were a hundred percent sure of.

He fell asleep smiling.

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taglist: @cxndiedvi0lets @angeldollw @marchsfreakshow @newwavesylviaplath @happy74827 @evpeters87

a/n: raaaahh!!! I'm honestly so proud of this, the fic came out just like i imagined. Anyways, hope you like it, love you all🤍🤍

join my taglist!!

all rights reserved.

[tlonista]

A whole mess of Astarion hurt/comfort fanfic recs

OK fine I've read so much Astarion hurt/comfort-adjacent fic that I should really put together an incomplete rec list. Be warned that with Astarion's canon backstory there's a lot of abuse and assault references of varying explicitness, so check the AO3 tags. I'm also limiting myself to one fic per author because otherwise I'd end up with several pages of Asidian and FlowerCitti. In case you're wondering, my personal contribution to the field is Seducere.

Ongoing Fics:

innocence died screaming by FlowerCitti

Comprehensive pre- and in-canon Astarion character study. Contains possibly the most heartwrenching post-Astarion-locked-tomb-era turn I've ever read. Very good.

Another Path by Asidian

A sweet Wyllstarion monster hunter x monster no-tadpole AU in which Astarion gets captured/rescued by Wyll straight out of a year in a coffin and navigates basic human kindness for the first time in a couple centuries.

Seen by ayvaines

Modern Bloodweave AU where Cazador is Astarion's cruel, controlling boyfriend and Gale is the kind D&D GM who's hosting them both in a game. As makes sense for a modern AU, it's a more-understated-than-canon take on Astarion coming to terms with the fact that he's in an abusive relationship, working out his feelings about Cazador through tabletop roleplaying, including some clever scenes dealing with the bleed of intense RPG sessions.

Heartbeats by LadyRagnelle

Canon-divergent Durgestarion fic where Astarion was recaptured by his siblings, memory-wiped, and then rescued by a team of companions he no longer remembers. A lot of well-executed (and sometimes surprisingly funny) angst around Astarion, charlatan that he is, trying to pretend he hasn't forgotten absolutely everything including how to be a non-level-1 rogue and have friends.

The stars began to burn by peregrinefeathers

Gale is trapped in fantasy nullspace and gets Astarion free of Cazador's clutches, after which they navigate an odd-couple relationship while trying to kill Cazador and pull Gale back into the physical world. Another classic "Astarion learns what human decency is" no-tadpole AU.

Memoir by IzzyIzGay

An Interview with the Vampire-style fic in which Astarion tells Gale about his time under Cazador, playing with that series' trademark unreliable narration and an unusually literal version of Cazador's creepy family dynamic.

Starved by neo7v

A modern non-magical Bloodweave AU featuring Astarion and the lonely degradation of a precarious service industry job! Only a few chapters so far, but seriously, it takes the "vampiric starvation" theme in a direction that's very mundane and miserable and compelling and it's one of my favorite recently started fics.

Unexpected Guests by Erandir

Another "get loved and cared for, sucker" no-tadpole AU featuring a non-Tav druid OC taking care of a lost Astarion who's escaped Baldur's Gate. Astarion and druids, the perfect foil.

Through The Night Dark And Drear by JJJSchmidt

Astarion is accidentally bargained off to an archfey by Cazador and taken to the palace of infuriatingly confusing fair folk magic! There's still a lot of story left to be uncovered, but I love the worldbuilding and fairy-tale premise.

snare by parsnipit

A Halstarion fic where Astarion never got tadpoled and the gang ends up rescuing him from Cazador, post-game, with his compulsions very much intact. Which leads naturally to hissing wet cat Astarion reluctantly learning to trust Halsin while they plot to take down Cazador.

One-Shots:

Quick Step by starkraving

starkraving's another person who could have made up a big chunk of this list, and this character study plays really well on the classic "how the hell does Astarion know how to be a rogue anyway" fandom conversation. My favorite entry in a good and growing series of Astarion-centered fics.

Gifts by Feena_c

Astarion gets caught by Cazador before the confrontation at the palace. Impeccable "Cazador doesn't realize Astarion didn't just come back to Baldur's Gate, he came back loved" vibe, as Cazador tries to break Astarion by taking away the gifts the tadpole gang gave him along the way.

What is Affection but the Absence of Cruelty by Aztec24

One of my favorite tropes is "Astarion tortures himself by obsessively imagining how awful these perfectly nice people will be to him," and this very much delivers. Featuring a rare two-Tavs-plus-Astarion throuple!

The Mimic by ForsakenFlyingCircus

This is really hurt-no-comfort, but I'm including it because it's a good super sad take on dehumanization with an awful Tav confirming all the worst things Astarion thinks about himself and the world, touching on the whole problem of sentient monsters in D&D.

Peel the scars from off my back by WitchyBee

A Spawn Family fic in the aftermath of Astarion getting Cazador's contract on his back - lots of antagonistic but grudgingly caring sibling interaction and Astarion being satisfyingly ambivalent about it all.

Complete Multi-Chapter Fic:

Just A Taste by NightmareGiraffe

The tadpole gang gets imprisoned at Moonrise Towers and Astarion accepts an offer from Araj Oblodra in exchange for their freedom. A very dark yet totally in-character elaboration on the canon blood merchant encounter, plus a cool dragonborn Tav.

The Accountant’s Guide to Taking Down an Evil Vampire Lord (and maybe bagging Astarion while you are at it) by Cinnamontails

A charming f!OC-who-isn't-Tav/Astarion longfic that combines hurt/comfort with het romance novel conventions, which I feel like is rarely pulled off.

And I know there's a ton I missed here -- god this fandom is big.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Hi! Thanks for running this amazing blog! Lately I've been feeling like reading Drarry fics that would have some nice Harry & Ginny friendship in them, but haven't really been able to find any. You got any recs? Thanks again!

I cannot abide fics in which Ginny is the bad guy! Even in fics where the break up between Harry and Ginny is difficult and complicated, I fully believe that they eventually make it back into friendship. Book Ginny is such a badass, and has nothing but love and support for her best bud, Harry Potter.

Harry and Ginny Friendship

another bridge will have to burn. by anonymous (1,673 words, rated T)

Harry certainly didn't expect to see Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson at a queer Muggle club. He didn't see any of this coming, really.

Elocution by Shaddyr (1,721 words, rated T)

End of the year bonfire night at Hogwarts. Firewhiskey is flowing freely, Ginny is nosy, Harry is rambling and Malfoy just wants to help...

Silver Linings by @kittycargo (2,480 words, rated T)

Harry and Ginny have a long overdue conversation.

Knowing Who I was Before by @janieohio (2,670 words, rated T)

Breaking up is hard, but for Harry and Ginny, staying together isn’t an option if they each want the other to be happy.

Ginny | Your Local Lesbian's Guide to Wooing Draco Malfoy by @skooffuskaild (3,931 words, rated T)

Your Local Lesbian's Guide to Wooing Draco Malfoy by Ginevra Weasley (author of critically acclaimed tome Taking the Broom Out of The Closet: A Memoir and Six Signs You're A Lesbian) is a helpful step-by-step introduction to the confusing and exciting world of courting Malfoy heirs!

Or, Harry and Ginny bond over being queer kids, and manage to successfully ask out Draco Malfoy.

As it was (you know it's not the same) by queercodedvillain (15,832 words, rated T)

Harry's navigating a life he thinks he doesn't deserve and honestly, didn't really think he'd have. For some reason that means a whole lot of Draco Malfoy.

Seeker's High by @corvuscrowned (40,178 words, rated M)

Harry Potter doesn’t expect to take up running years after the war ends; it just sort of happens.

He also doesn’t expect that — as he fights tooth and nail to climb out of a post-war depression he didn’t realize he’d fallen into — he’ll end up running right into the arms of Draco Malfoy.

A half angsty drama, half romcom of Harry working on himself, learning how to accept help from his friends, and falling in love with his childhood nemesis.

Blood and Fire by @lqtraintracks (44,888 words, rated E)

Harry has spent the last twelve years in Romania, not returning to England as often as he knows he should. It's complicated. But when Ginny asks him to be her best man and help her plan her wedding, he can't say no. Having a reckoning with his choices, with himself, won't be easy. To say nothing of seeing Draco again.

Nearly Lost Things, Carefully Tended by @norelationtoatticus (46,653 words, rated E)

Three years after the war, Harry is lost, drifting, and feeling left behind. In an effort to get control of his life, he commits to cleaning out Grimmauld Place top-to-bottom and forcing it to be a home, whether it likes it or not. The rotten old house is stuffed full of antiques, and Harry is shocked to discover none other than Draco Malfoy running the local antique shop. Malfoy is polite -- too polite, and Harry soon finds himself with a mission: to annoy and bother Malfoy with the most hideous, absurd antiques he can find. But along the way, Harry comes to appreciate Draco, his work, and the power of connecting to the people who came before him. It's a hard lesson, but Harry learns that if he wants to build a future, he has to reconnect to his past, and Draco might just be the one to help him do it.

A Gift of True Esteem by @teledild0nix (53,965 words, rated E)

Professor Draco Malfoy believes he has something unique to bring to Hogwarts' History of Magic course. Professor Harry Potter is willing to be convinced.

Had To Be You @lettersbyelise (59,020 words, rated E)

Draco Malfoy is possibly the last person Harry expects to find at the wheel of a Muggle car, on a beautiful summer day on the road to London.

This is the story of how Harry runs into Draco once, twice, three times, and how he doesn’t leave their next meeting to chance.

Such Great Heights by aideomai (93,302 words, rated E)

Draco Malfoy, wide-eyed and pale and in a decidedly ragged shirt, was crouched next to the pile of whatever the dragon had been eating.

Harry threw himself to a halt and yelled, “Merlin, how many times do I have to save your life?”

❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️

Lots of Love and Happy Reading!

[bracketsoffear]

Welcome to the Leitner Tourney!

Following on from the polls determining which fictional characters would best serve the entities, it's time to determine what books would best serve as a manifestation of a Fear's power.

Link to Avatar Masterpost

Rules

Must have been published. I love fanfic a lot, but for the sake of simplicity and not getting hundreds of ABO fics for the Hunt poll, I'm going to have to veto it for this one. Fictional books are also out because a) they may already have associated magic that would give them an unfair advantage over their real-world competitors, and b) you can't actually read them.

Must be a book. I'm willing to be lenient on this front; graphic novels, magazines, short stories, pamphlets and academic journal articles are acceptable, provided they adhere to the other guidelines. Non-text-based media, such as films, music, or video games, are not.

Fiction or nonfiction are acceptable. Following on from the 'no real people' rule, I'm going to disallow biographies, autobiographies, diaries, journals, and memoirs.

Because I want to keep things fresh and avoid having the same people win every time, you may NOT submit the source material of a winning character for the Entity that they won -- e.g., Moby Dick would be an invalid Hunt submission, but would be permitted for the Vast. House of Leaves, being an overall tournament winner, is retired from all future tournaments.

The rules for all polls still apply

Please keep in mind the spoiler policy!

FAQ

Q: "I think this book fits another entity better, can I submit it for that tournament when it comes up?"

A: If it went out in the first two rounds, it can be resubmitted. If it went out in round three, it can be resubmitted, but will likely take a penalty during consideration of the tournament's construction. Books making it to the semifinal round or beyond will not be considered in future polls.

Q: "I think this book suits this entity's aesthetics, but I'm not sure how well it aligns with their meaning/I'm having trouble expressing why I think this book deserves to be in the tournament."

A: Check the relevant Entity's wiki page here and consider drawing parallels to events or Leitners in the show itself.

Q: "Are submissions chosen based on how many times they were submitted?"

A: That's one factor. I also look at how well their description fits the actual entity and what I personally think would make for an interesting match-up.

Links to submission forms and masterposts

Stranger: Results Desolation: Results Spiral: Results Hunt: Results Vast: Results Dark: Results Web: Results Corruption: Results Flesh: Submissions Slaughter: May 3 Buried: May 10 Lonely: May 17 End: May 24 Eye: May 31 Extinction: June 7 Other*: June 14 Winner's bracket: No submissions

Minipoll: Submissions open June 28

[bridenore]

HD Books / Writing fic recs

Here are a few drarry fic recs involving books or writing. Listed in alphabetical order, as always.

Annus Mirabilis by Ren [39k]

Harry and Malfoy are trapped at Hogwarts around the time the school was founded. Stuck with a different way of doing magic, with no chocolate, and with each other, they have to find a way to work together if they want a chance to go home.

Dear Diary by AWickedMemory [20k]

 // This can’t possibly go worse than the last time I kept a diary. // After the war, Harry picks up a journal to write in… and it writes back. Luckily, it’s not a Horcrux on the other end this time.

Faint Indirections by ignatiustrout [29k]

Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expects to turn up in Boston, Massachussetts. But now he’s here, and he won’t stop requesting books from the library where Harry works.

He Who Must Not Be Normal by @letteredlettered [40k]

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life.  Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life.  Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t.  Instead it has Indian takeaway and a blue jumper and people wanting a whole lot of what they can’t have, discovering themselves as they discover each other. 

If We Were Honest by daisymondays / @gracie137blogs [26k]

Two years ago, Draco and Harry had a whirlwind secret romance that ended in heart-break. Since then Draco’s written a best-selling novel based on their relationship, but with one key difference—the characters get a happily ever after. Now Harry and Draco are reunited for the first time since their break-up, but can they rewrite their own ending?

Love Bites, Or How Draco Malfoy Learned to Let Go and Celebrate His Allure by @m0srael [50k]

Recently-turned Draco Malfoy is doing his very best to be a normal, productive, contributing member of wixen society. So far, he’s managed to keep his bloody little problem a secret, even from his best friends. But when the professional opportunity he’s been dreaming of finally   falls in his lap, he finds himself with much more than just a potential promotion. Will a profile on a new creature-exclusive dating app, a wolfy stranger who seems hellbent on liking Draco just the way he is, and a little self-confidence help Draco finally love himself and his newfound community?

Orion in the Sky by space_wingding [30k]

Draco Malfoy owns a bookshop in the Lake District. He’s also cursed. Enter: Harry Potter.

Per Solum Lacuna: By Words Alone by Azhure [560k]

A set of enchanted journals bring solace to two very unlikely lost   souls. Whoever said the art of penmanship was lost? This is a wizarding twist on the old fashioned art of correspondence (or the modern art of Internet chatting). What will happen when the mystery writers finally   discover the identity of their counterpart? Join this star crossed pair as they obliviously chat to each other; along the way learning about   life and love. Find out what will happen when their own voyages of self discovery lead them to the most unlikely of places. This is eventual   HP/DM, but other pairings for the protagonists along their journey.

The Price We Pay for Wings by Frayach [13k]

Books have the power to shape young lives. At least that is the hope of the anonymous author of a best-selling series about a Muggle boy and his best friend on the eve of a world war. But stories do more than just shape the future: they can redress the wrongs of the past as well. But only as long as it’s not too late…

Reading Malfoy by @femmequixotic [15k]

After thirteen years of hiding himself away in Muggle London, Draco Malfoy shows up again in the wizarding world–with a wickedly amusing memoir in hand. Harry doesn’t want to read it. Really. He doesn’t.

The Romantic Prawn Who Loved Christmas by @bixgirl1 [39k]

When Draco, forced into sharing a room with Potter for the year, finds out that Potter has a sleepwalking problem, he expects the odd conversations and the weird games of chess. What comes as a complete shock are Potter’s other activities…And why he seems so intent on having Draco join him. (Relax. It’s just like a holiday Hallmark movie! …With, uhm, sleepwanking.)

Sourdough by @academicdisaster24 [17k]

Draco writes romance novels and doesn't leave his apartment much. Harry bakes bread and sells it to Draco. Draco is quite weird. Harry might like that.

Sunseeker by @shiftylinguini [15k]

Harry is a struggling writer. Namely, he is struggling with: writing his next book, dealing with his agent, finding a decent tea strainer, fielding his friend’s concern over the aforementioned book, and figuring out who the cat loitering in his garden belongs to. He also has a slight liking-Malfoy problem. Okay, he has a massive liking-Malfoy problem.

Teach Me, Life; Guide Me, Love by @kiraohara [79k]

Revelations both painful and joyous set the markers in the path of every life. Thankfully, Draco has spectacular company for the journey.

Verba Volant by shushu_yaoi_lj / @orange-peony​ [34k]

The first letter arrives after the Trials. Harry unfolds the parchment and his eyes open wide when he realises who it’s from. He soon finds himself waiting for those letters to arrive, staring at the window in search of Malfoy’s owl. He wants to know more.

When It Alteration Finds by momatu [55k]

After the war, Harry left most of the Wizarding world behind and built a new life for himself in the Channel Islands. He opened a bakery and is happy with his life. Draco is a fiction author who writes under a penname, and he’s currently suffering from writer’s block. His agent suggests he try writing in a new environment and rents a cottage in the Channel Islands for him.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[novantinuum]

heya! :D I'm so happy I found your blog, I just did a su rewatch this summer and I'm obsessed again! I was wondering if you had some fic recs to share? especially any and all that deal with steven's trauma (whether that be corruption aftermath, his abandonment issues, any of the traumatic experiences he had), anything really, just some nice and thorough hurt/comfort and healing <3 definitely up to any other recs you might have, even if they're about something completely different haha. thank you in advance!!

Ooooh heck yeah I can rec some of my favs! Admittedly, these days I haven't been reading that much new fic, so I'm not sure what new stuff is out there that's gone unnoticed, but I went through my bookmarks and found a few fics that still stand out to me today as ones I remember really vibing with when I read them-

First off, some fics that I remember delving into Steven's trauma (along other things)-

Aid to Navigation, by Ppleater (or @infriga here on tumblr)

Honest to god, this is my favorite Steven Universe fic on the whole goddamn internet. Post I Am My Monster hurt/comfort content galore. Emotional catharsis out the wazoo. Fascinating theorization about how Steven works as a hybrid. Sometimes there's even chapter artwork. ALSO NANEFUA AS AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER, WHICH I RARELY SEE LET'S GO NANEFUA

a world for the birds, by @fanfoolishness

Do you like Uncle Andy? Do you vibe with the idea of bird watching? Do you wanna read about Andy's outsider observations of the trajectory of his nephew's bizarre life as he shares his hobby of bird watching with Steven as a bonding activity over the years moving into the events of Steven Universe: Future??

Go read this fic, it destroys me. In fact, just do yourself a favor and check out this author's whole catalogue, because my next fic rec is from her, too.

Comminuted, by @fanfoolishness

Post Growing Pains hurt/comfort focused on Steven and his dad's relationship. I remember this one dropping pretty damn soon after the episode aired and it w r e c k e d my emotions and gave me all the catharsis my sappy little heart desired at the time.

WELCOME BACK TO THE VLOG, steven universe here! by waddlesthejoghog (or @thisisnotacreativeusername here on tumblr)

Here's a story with a COMPLETELY different format than all the others- this one chronicles Steven's life through a variety of videos he posts to his TubeTube channel over the years. (Which, if you watch the SU shorts, is a canonical fun fact about him! He posts unboxing videos and reactions and stuff online, ahah.)

Each chapter sorta like, "transcribes" what's happening in the video, and there's even a little views/likes/dislikes/subscriber count + mock comments section at the end of every one! I found it a very charming and fun read- but also it punched me in the face by the end because it's like a whole microcosm of Steven's character development throughout the entire show mashed into one 59 chapter story.

This one is not wholly focused on Steven's trauma, as it spans the events of the entire show, but that does play a decently big role later on in the fic.

__

As a quick little self-plug, I've also written a good deal of fics focused on various shades of Steven's traumatic experiences, and the following is (probably) my favorite of those:

A Memoir of the Marks Unseen (uhh... by me lol)

This one is focused on the topic of Steven + the headcanon of him having corruption scars like the other healed Gems, and picks up pretty soon after I Am My Monster. It spans months (and later Years) after that, detailing his journey towards accepting these remnants as a neutral part of him. I'm still very proud of finishing it, as I was pulling from some raw personal experience with this one.

__

Lastly, here's two Connie focused fics I remember slapping ass in their own various ways:

Xenopology, by CompletelyDifferent

Some Connie + all the Gems character study pieces!

The Stranger in Me, by Cyberwraith9

Connie accidentally gets perma-bonded with a poofed gemstone retrieved from a corrupted Gem. Hijinks ensue. I remember this one having a legendary level of character development for Connie and her whole family especially ;w;

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

every single book I read in 2022. all 129 of them.

jesus christ

let's start with the best of the best; everything else will get listed beneath the read more because I'm not an animal. even just picking out my favorites is honestly probably going to get pretty lengthy, even though I'm trying to keep the synopses short.

batmanisagatewaydrug's noteworthy books of 2022

Complaint! (Sara Ahmed, 2021) - necessary for anyone doing diversity work in higher education, tbh

America is Not the Heart (Elaine Castillo, 2018) - achingly gorgeous novel of heartbreak and healing.

The School for Good Mothers (Jessamine Chan, 2022) - honestly? I feel very good calling this my favorite book of the entire year. sensitive, smart, chilling.

Black Feminist Thought (Patricia Hill Collins, 1990) - truly ashamed to say I didn't read this sooner. Collins' clear-eyed analysis remains crazily spot-on 30+ years later.

Hurts So Good: The Science and Pleasure of Pain on Purpose (Leigh Cowart, 2021) - I read this book so early in 2022 and literally have not stopped thinking about it since.

Batman: King Tut's Tomb (Nunzio DeFillippis, Christina Weir, José Luis García-López, and Kevin Nowlan, 2009) - dare I say the most fun I had with a comic all year.

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022) - a romance unlike any other. queer, fun, sexy, bold as hell, and joyfully life-affirming.

The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell, 2021) - DELICIOUSLY creepy short stories that will lurk in your brain forever.

Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century (Kim Fu, 2022) - if a more perfect short story collection exists I am yet to find it.

The World We Make (N.K. Jemisin, 2022) - I normally hesitate to include sequels on a list like this, but god DAMN Jemisin is the queen of modern spec fic for a reason.

We Do This 'Til We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice (Mariame Kaba, edited by Tamara K. Nopper, 2021) - excellent collection of Kaba's abolitionist writings, drawing on years of organizing experience and wisdom.

Jade City (Fonda Lee, 2017) - look out! new favorite doorstopper fantasy series alert!

Priestdaddy (Patricia Lockwood, 2017) - about the best damn memoir I've ever read. heartbreaking and hysterical in turns, poetry the whole way through.

Batman: The Long Halloween and Batman: Dark Victory (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 1996 and 1999) - it's always so exciting when something much-hyped lives up to the hype in every way. Batman at his grim and moody Batmaniest with a Gotham that’s deliciously bleak.

Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel, 2014) - I didn't think I'd like this book much at all, then ended up proposing on the second date. oops!

I'm Glad My Mom Died (Jennette McCurdy, 2022) - you will also be glad McCurdy's mom died, and also experience every other known human emotion along the way.

Kaikeyi (Vaishnavi Patel, 2022) - SPLENDID mythology retelling + political fantasy.

My Body (Emily Ratajkowski, 2022) - haunting haunting haunting personal essays about Ratajkowski's life as a model and subsequent alienation from her own body.

Batman: Bruce Wayne, Murderer? (Greg Rucka et al, 2002) - genuinely what can I say I'm a messy bitch and I love when the Bats are having a terrible time.

The Batman Adventures Vol. 2 #1-17 (created by Dan Slott, Ty Templeton, Rick Burchett, Terry Beatty, and Bruce Timm, 2003) - a continuation of the Batman: The Animated Series universe that frankly just fucking rules.

Little Rabbit (Alyssa Songsiridej, 2022) - a potent and erotic adult coming of age story.

The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century (Amia Srinivasan, 2021) - thorny, difficult, vital essays.

Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (Sabrina Strings, 2019) - jaw-droppingly thorough research into the role of fatpobia played and plays in the project of race-making.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (Ocean Vuong, 2019) - yeah so it turns out no one was REMOTELY exaggerating. Vuong really is That Good.

Hench (Natalie Zina Walschots, 2020) - wild fun with a ruthless protagonist and her sex villainous beetle man boss; what more could you ask for?

Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles (Eric C. Wat, 2021) - learning about queer history makes me feel like I’m holding something so vibrant and fragile and precious right in my little queer hand. this book is an emotional journey in such a shining way.

Never Have I Ever (Isabel Yap, 2021) - EXCITING short story collection centered on girls having Just The Weirdest Time.

and everybody else:

fiction:

Light From Uncommon Stars (Ryka Aoki, 2021)

Our Wives Under the Sea (Julia Armfield, 2022)

A Tiny Upward Shove (Melissa Chadburn, 2022)

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy (Becky Chambers, 2022)

Disorientation (Elaine Hsieh Chou, 2022)

The Laws of the Skies (Grégoire Courtois, trans. Rhonda Mullins, 2019)

The Monster Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2018)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2020)

Greenland (David Santos Donaldson, 2022)

Dead Collections (Isaac Fellman, 2022)

The Halloween Moon (Joseph Fink, 2021)

A Dowry of Blood (S.T. Gibson)

Nightmare Alley (William Lindsay Gresham, 1946)

The Vegetarian (Han Kang, trans. Deborah Smith, 2015)

The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka, trans. William Aaltonen, 1915)

Before the Coffee Gets Cold (Toshikazu Kawaguchi, trans. Geoffrey Trousselot, 2019)

Woman, Eating (Claire Kohda, 2022)

Long Division (Kiese Laymon, 2014)

Jade War (Fonda Lee, 2019)

No One is Talking About This (Patricia Lockwood, 2021)

Portrait of a Thief (Grace D. Li, 2022)

Elatsoe (Darcie Little Badger, 2020)

A Snake Falls to Earth (Darcie Little Badger, 2021)

Glitterati (Oliver K. Longmead)

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2019)

Harrow the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2020)

Nona the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2022)

The Memory Police (Yoko Ogawa, trans. Stephen Snyder, 2019)

Even Though I Knew the End (C.L. Polk, 2022)

100 Boyfriends (Brontez Purnell, 2021)

Flowers for the Sea (Zin E. Rocklyn, 2021)

Any Way the Wind Blows (Rainbow Rowell, 2021)

Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice, 1976)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2012)

Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2022)

Into the Riverlands (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Siren Queen (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Strange Beasts of China (Yan Ge, trans. Jeremy Tiang, 2020)

short story collections:

The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer (Janelle Monáe, Yohanco Delgado, Eva L. Ewing, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Danny Lore, and Sheree Renée Thomas, 2022)

Walking on Cowrie Shells (Nana Nkweti, 2021)

Terminal Boredom (Izumi Suzuki, trans. Polly Barton, Sam Bett, David Boyd, Daniel Joseph, Aiko Masubuchi, and Helen O’Horan, 2021)

nonfiction:

Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity (Judith Butler, 1990)

How to Read Now (Elaine Castillo, 2022)

Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work (Melissa Gira Grant, 2014)

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat (Aubrey Gordon, 2020)

White Tears/Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color (Ruby Hamad, 2020)

Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness (Da'Shaun L. Harrison, 2021)

Some of My Best Friends: Essays on Lip Service (Tajja Isen, 2022)

One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter (Scaachi Koul, 2017)

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America (Revised Edition) (Kiese Laymon, 2020)

Sister Outsider (Audre Lorde, 1984)

Conversations with People Who Hate Me: 12 Lessons I Learned from Talking to Internet Strangers (Dylan Marron, 2022)

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism (Amanda Montell, 2021)

World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments (Aimee Nezhukumatathil)

Histories of the Transgender Child (Jules Gill-Peterson, published as Julian Gill-Peterson, 2018)

Yoke: My Yoga of Self-Acceptance (Jessamyn Stanley, 2021)

A Queer History of Fashion: From the Closet to the Catwalk (edited by Valerie Steele, 2013)

Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution (Revised Edition) (Susan Stryker, 2008)

The End of Policing (Alex S. Vitale, 2017)

The Trouble With Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life (Michael Warner, 1999)

Read My Lips: Sexual Subversions and the End of Gender (Riki Wilchins, published as Riki Anne Wilchins, 1997)

poetry:

Short Talks (Anne Carson, 1992)

Content Warning: Everything (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022)

Prelude to Bruise (Saeed Jones, 2014)

Alive at the End of the World (Saeed Jones, 2022)

Bright Dead Things (Ada Limón, 2015)

Motherland Fatherland Homelandsexuals (Patricia Lockwood, 2014)

Nature Poem (Tommy Pico, 2017)

Night Sky with Exit Wounds (Ocean Vuong, 2016)

Time Is a Mother (Ocean Vuong, 2022)

comics:

Batman: One Bad Day - Mr. Freeze (Gerry Duggan, Matteo Scalera, and Dave Stewart, 2022)

Spandex - Fast and Hard (Martin Eden, 2012)

Harley Quinn: The Animated Series: The Eat. Bang! Kill. Tour (Tee Franklin, Max Sarin, and Marissa Louise, 2022)

Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert, 2009)

The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes (Neil Gaiman, Sam Keith, Mike Dringenberg, and Malcom Jones III, 1988)

The Sandman: In the Doll's House (Neil Gaiman, Michael Zulli, Mike Dringenberg, Chris Bachalo, Malcolm Jones III, and Steve Parkhouse, 1989)

The Sandman: Dream Country (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcolm Jones III, Colleen Doran, and Charles Vess, 1991)

The Sandman: Season of Mists (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcom Jones III, Mike Dringenberg, Matt Wagner, P. Craig Russell, George Pratt, and Dick Giordano, 1992)

The Sandman: A Game of You (Neil Gaiman, Shawn McManus, Colleen Doran, Bryan Talbot, Stan Woch, and George Pratt, 1993)

Run, Riddler, Run (Gerard Jones and Mark Badger, 1992)

Catwoman: When in Rome (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 2005)

Batman: Year One (Frank Miller and David Mazzicchello, 1986)

Batman: One Bad Day - Penguin (John Ridley, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Cam Smith, and Arif Prianto, 2022)

Batman: Bruce Wayne - Fugitive (Greg Rucka et al, 2002)

Batman: One Bad Day - Two-Face (Mariko Tamaki, Jaiver Fernandez, and Jordie Bellaire, 2022)

Batman & Robin Eternal Vol 1 & Vol 2 (James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder, 2015 and 2016)

Batman: Their Dark Designs (James Tynion IV, Guillem March, and Tomeu Morey, 2020)

The Joker War Saga (James Tynion IV and Jorge Jiménez, 2021)

Papergirls Vol. 1-6 (Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang, 2016-2019)

Real Hero Shit (Kendra Wells, 2022)

Poison Ivy #1-6 (G. Willow Wilson and Marcio Takara, 2022)

and some gaming guides!

Monster of the Week (Michael Sands, 2012) - great game. so cool. cannot wait to actually play it someday.

Thirsty Sword Lesbians (April Kit Walsh, 2021)

special shame zone because I want you to know how bad this sucked, do not read this:

Rethinking Sex: A Provocation (Christine Emba, 2022). patronizing, puritanical, reductive, painfully cisheteronormative. weirdly afraid of group sex. not actually that provocative, just aggressively Catholic.

and last but most certainly least, a comic that I want to remind you all fucking sucked just one more time before the year is done.

Batman: One Bad Day - The Riddler (Tom King and Mitch Gerads, 2022)

Tom King, go fuck yourself. Mitch is cool though, the art slapped.

[entityupdates]

This post contains spoilers for chapter 13 of Destructive Interference.

So. N. Looking forward to the comments to see if this made sense or not.

Quick summary of what was revealed in chapter 13: Ingo's Zorua siblings from Hisui were reincarnated as N and a Unovan Zoroark in modern times.

The in-universe explanation is basically just that sometimes Zorua spirits don't want to die and Ingo's Zorua brother and sister weren't done being part of Ingos story.

The real explanation is far longer.

Initially I was going to talk about this in Boss, Warden, Alpha (the unused but still posted epilogue where Ingo writes a memoir about the events of Masking) but I started writing Destructive Interference before I posted Boss, Warden, Alpha so this little detail was edited out:

Originally Ingo's Zorua brother was going to be a past incarnate of Emmet and Ingo's Zorua sister was going to be a past incarnate of Elesa.

Only two people have noticed this so far! I mostly edited it out of Masking but there are a few lines in the early chapters, especially chapter 1, that referenced this. The main thing that remained is that Ingo's sister/not-Elesa-anymore/Theta prefers to disguise herself as an Electric-type (Luxray) but there are a few other details intended to be foreshadowing were left in.

Note: Destructive Interference is a spin-off so Runt and Theta are not Emmet and Elesa or N in Masking. The timeline doesn't make sense for that.

To lay it out a little more clearly:

In Masking, Runt's ghost/soul (ghosts and souls are not the same thing in this fic but for convenience let's say they are) was taken from one of Lady Sneasler's kits. He goes to the modern world and was not further reincarnated. Ingo's sister's ghost/soul was taken from an Alpha Luxray. She remained in Hisui so it is still possible for her to be reincarnated as Elesa but I've never touched on this and don't plan to.

In Destructive Interference, Runt is a Sneasler kit turned Hisuian Zorua turned N. I never address if N is a Zoroark disguised as a human or not but it is implied that his past life as a Zorua is the reason he can understand Pokémon. Theta (Ingo's sister) was an Alpha Luxray turned Hisuian Zorua/Zoroark turned Unovan Zoroark. It is implied that N and Theta were reborn in modern Unova through "regular" means of reincarnation.

The original version of Masking had Ingo's Zorua siblings be "new" ghosts/souls. When they died in Hisui, they were reincarnated as Emmet and Elesa in modern Unova. I decided not to stick with this idea because I thought it was too complicated and would distract from my original intention with Masking (to explore how Zoroark illusions work but I gave up on that like halfway through and no one cared anyway).

I'm thinking about eventually doing another spin-off where I write out this idea of Emmet and Elesa as future lives of Runt and Theta but I don't want to commit to anything.

But back to Destructive Interference, it does seem kind of random that N and his Zoroark friend are Ingo's siblings and they're not in the fic for very long. This is intentional. Sometimes there are just regular people in stories that aren't main characters but affect the plot. Arceus just thought they deserved to know where their brother ended up and sent them to the future.

Runt and Theta totally could've been Emmet and Elesa in Destructive Interference but the appeal of the fic is waiting for Emmet's reaction when he learns Ingo is a Zoroark so if Emmet was also a Zoroark, I don't think it would be as satisfying.

TLDR; N and Theta are reincarnations of Ingo's Zorua siblings because they were always intended to be reincarnated.

[avacoleman]

when the lights go out || a firstprince fic

summary: Henry Fox’s career is in crisis and his dating life isn’t faring much better either.  After a chance encounter with a charming man becomes memorable for all the wrong reasons, Henry throws himself into his next assignment: writing the memoir of a beloved C-list actor. Henry, however, knows Alex best for the role he played as his random, awkward one-night stand. Henry enters their professional partnership keen on keeping their relationship just that. But after Henry confesses that their hookup was less than spectacular, Alex concots an arrangement that Henry is unable to resist. In addition to ghostwriting Alex’s life story, Henry will teach him a thing or two about satisfying a man.  As they spend months out on the road together, they must decide if the connection between them is yet another story worth telling.

chapter 3/8 || rated e || read on ao3 *updates every tues. and fri. *

Minneapolis, MN Twin Cities Con Day 1 Henry sits front row at the Crescent Valley panel. Today, the announcement will go live and Alex and his castmates will reunite on this very stage to deliver the news fans have been waiting for. Henry has seen all the hashtags and petitions that have been created online since the show went off the air five years ago. Viewers made passionate pleas, conducted letter writing campaigns, and made countless videos demanding, at the very least, one special to give them a glimpse into the lives of their beloved characters and to see the cast together again. It’s interesting sitting among them now knowing full-well what’s in store.  The energy in the room is off the charts as the Crescent Valley theme song starts to play and the cast files onto stage. Seeing them all in the flesh is a bit disorienting. Henry’s gotten so used to seeing them on his laptop screen, yet here they are all now right before his eyes.  Henry’s gaze slides to Alex and at once he feels centered, but he’s quickly thrown off again seeing Alex and Nora putting their heads together, laughing about something as the moderator reads out everyone’s names. Henry figures it shouldn’t be surprising given their history. All the same, it makes an unnameable emotion swell in Henry’s chest.

He quickly pushes the feeling aside and allows the sheer pandemonium around him to consume him. He finds himself joining the masses and cheering on the cast as they smile and wave at the audience before taking their seats.

The panel goes along much like any other until the end during the Q&A portion. A man steps up to the mic for the final question and though Henry personally has no clue who he is, the audience collectively gasps. From overheard whispers, he learns the man is none other than the creator of Crescent Valley.

Henry looks up at the stage, his eyes landing immediately on Alex. He sees the excitement in his eyes like a kid on Christmas morning.

The show’s creator waits for silence to fall before he speaks.

“Now, I have just one question for you guys,” he says looking at the actors on stage. “Are you ready to step into the world of Crescent Valley one last time?”

“Yes!” the cast says together into their mics as the monitors on the sides of the stage flash with the news.

Crescent Valley returns for a two-hour special this winter!

The eruption from the audience is unlike anything Henry has ever seen or heard before. People are jumping out of their seats, crying, screaming, hugging each other. Through it all, Henry can’t take his eyes off Alex and the cast as they drink it all in, the Crescent Valley theme song playing once more as the perfect soundtrack for the reverent fans losing their ever-loving minds in the room.

There are so many questions Henry wants to ask Alex about this moment, but he knows any hopes for talking about the book or literally anything else today are completely dashed now that the news is out in the world.

~*~*~

Henry’s suspicions were right. Alex's phone had gone off all afternoon with calls and texts from Zahra with interview requests that have been streaming in. On every platform imaginable, #CrescentValleySpecial is trending and Alex’s mentions are in complete disarray. Henry had expected things to get crazy, but this was outright insanity.

He was able to get introduced to the cast after the panel when he went backstage. All his inexplicable nervousness in meeting Nora turned out to be for nothing.

The way she and Alex interacted with one another was more like brother and sister. Whatever romantic feelings they held over five years ago was clearly ancient history.

He left Alex to spend the evening with his castmates though he had been welcomed to join them. It was a sweet offer, but Henry figured blocking out a few hours to work on his notes and configuring the preliminary skeleton of the book would be a wiser use of his time. He checked in with Pez, making sure their apartment was still in one piece and gave his friend an update from the road.

Pez was freaking out about the special just like everyone else online. He wouldn’t let Henry go without him promising to fill Pez in if he caught wind of any spoilers over the next few weeks.

Looking at his document, Henry feels satisfied with the work he’s done this evening. 

It’s eleven o'clock now and according to the tour itinerary, Alex has a signing in the morning followed by a cast reunion photoshoot. He mentally prepares for another day where they won’t get to see much of each other or truly be alone together.

Henry brushes his teeth, studying his reflection in the mirror when he hears his phone vibrate on the counter. He looks down, turning his head to read the text message that appears on his lock screen.

Alex cant sleep. up for another lesson?

Henry spits out his toothpaste and rinses out his mouth before picking up his phone and answering.

Henry Ready when you are. 

Five minutes later, there’s a knock at Henry’s door.

“Hey,” Alex says. 

He stands before Henry in his glasses, wearing checkered navy blue pajama pants and a gray t-shirt. It’s a bit ridiculous how good he looks even when severely underdressed like this.

“Sorry for the late night message. My head’s been buzzing all day and I still feel completely wired. Also, I missed you today. And now I’m realizing I’ve literally sent a godforsaken ‘u up’ text. You would’ve been well within your rights to tell me to fuck all the way off.”

Henry laughs at how quickly Alex gets all these words out. 

“I’m a bit of an insomniac anyway so you’re hardly disturbing me. And besides, I sorta missed you too.”

Alex smiles a little and sways in place.

“Oh, do come in,” Henry says belatedly, stepping aside. He closes the door and locks it behind him.

“What’s next on your syllabus? We’re still on touch, right?” Henry asks.

“Yes, getting to know thy cock.”

A laugh rips out of Henry. “You’re the worst.”

Alex winks and takes a seat on Henry’s bed.

“Okay, so touch and getting more acquainted with what your partner likes,” Henry says. 

He thinks on it for a moment.

“As I’ve mentioned before, this really will be trial and error each time you’re intimate with someone. It’s not unlike when you’ve been with past partners. I’m sure you’ve found that what one person may love, another isn’t too fond of.”

Henry pauses again. 

“I wonder if this might not be better for me to show you rather than explain,” Henry says.

Alex looks confused, his brows furrowed. 

“Like…you give me a handjob or…I give you a proper one this time?”

“Or, option C, I get myself off and you watch,” Henry says plainly.

Alex blanches and Henry takes a bit of pride in being able to shock Alex like this.

“You said you wanted to know what I liked, right? Feels like this could be the best way to do just that.”

“Well, I am a visual learner,” Alex says quietly.

Henry crosses the room and goes into his suitcase, starting to dig around. 

“I think people have a tendency to get wrapped up in the idea of penetration being the only ‘real’ kind of sex,” Henry says thoughtfully. “If you ask me, that’s a very limited scope. There are so many different ways to intimately connect with your partner. Manually is one of them.”

He takes out a small bottle of lube and turns back to face Alex. 

“Whether it’s you getting your partner off or watching them and vice versa, this is another way you can, for a lack of a better term, come together when intimate.”

Alex laughs. “Yes, I have the humor of a middle schooler. Sue me.”

Henry rolls his eyes and steps closer to Alex.

“Can I kiss you? It helps,” he says, not explaining further.

If Alex is confused, he hides it well. He simply parts his legs where he’s seated on the length of the bed and Henry steps between them. He frames Alex’s face, leans in and kisses him straight away. 

The man is a pro at this and after a few moments, Henry can feel that familiar stirring in the pit of his stomach. Alex kisses him hungrily, deepening it and Henry feels his body respond immediately. He kisses Alex for a little while longer before forcing himself to pull away.

Rather than sit beside Alex on the edge, he gets in and lays back against the pillows.

Alex shifts to look at him. Henry tugs off his sweats and boxer briefs. It’s ridiculously easy to feel comfortable being naked in front of Alex and the fact that there’s still more weeks ahead should not thrill him in the way that it does.

He squeezes a small drop of lube in the palm of his hand. He coats his cock, shivering a little at the feel of the substance against his sensitive skin.

Alex’s eyes are wide and unblinking as he watches Henry’s movements.

“It’s the same principle you might have for when you get yourself off. Sometimes you might want it quick and rough, but more often than not, for me anyway, I really like the buildup. I enjoy getting myself worked up and close to the edge before letting myself let go completely. When I’m with a guy, I like it the same way. With teasing too. I can’t get enough of that, if I’m being honest. It drives me wild.”

He demonstrates, slowly stroking himself and circling the tip of his cock. Precome glistens on the head and he smears it with the pad of his thumb.

Henry shivers and practically purrs. 

Alex doesn’t even look like he’s breathing as he watches.

“That first night, you were overthinking it. It made you second guess yourself rather than follow your instincts. If there are moves or techniques that you enjoy, chances are that your partner might like them too. But you’ve got to give them the opportunity to really experience it before jumping so quickly onto the next thing.”

Henry squeezes himself and pumps his hand again slowly along his shaft.

“I actually really like this and you had the basic thought of it when we hooked up, but it felt sort of mechanical. I could feel your hesitancy and it took me out of the moment,” he says gently.

Alex frowns. “Sorry about that.”

Henry shakes his head. “Nothing to be sorry about. Now you know for next time.”

Something flickers in Alex’s eyes and it makes a pleasant chill run down Henry’s spine. The promise of next time. Henry has no clue when their next hookup will be, but the idea of Alex’s hand on him makes him even harder.

His eyes roll shut and Henry lets his imagination run with the fantasy. He pictures this moment now, only it’s Alex’s hand between his legs, pleasuring him, teasing him. He thinks back to that night in Arizona, their first foray into the touch component. 

Alex’s movements in his room were far better than their initial night. It seemed he had really taken Henry’s preliminary feedback into consideration. Since that night in Arizona, Henry had been wondering how things might have gone if they hadn’t stopped at strictly over the clothes, if he pushed their lesson a bit further.

A soft sound falls from his parted lips as his head tips back against the plush pillows as he envisions it. He spreads his legs wider and teases the slit of his cock. Distantly he hears Alex hiss. Henry does too. He’s so aroused and sensitive, even the air in the room makes the sensations more acute.

He bites back on his lower lip as he continues to stroke himself, his freehand massaging his balls. He feels the bed shift and he opens his eyes to find Alex on the bed in earnest, settled on his knees, studying him with rapt attention, his hands balled into fists against his lap.

Henry’s back arches as he stares at Alex, his heart pounding steadily. He gives his cock another firm squeeze on a downstroke and moans. It’s intoxicating knowing he has Alex locked into him like this. Alex’s cheeks are flushed, his eyes hungry and curious.

“Are you hard too?” Henry asks, his breath catching in his throat.

Alex scoffs. “How could I not be? Fucking hell, Henry, look at you.”

Henry smirks as he continues jerking himself off, teasing his leaking slit, his eyes never leaving Alex.

“Touch yourself with me then?” he hiccups. “If you’d be okay with—,”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Alex is already racing to get his pants off. He settles beside Henry, occupying the space on the other side of the mattress. His cock is slick already and Henry whimpers quietly at the sight.

“Think we can get you to come with me?” he asks, turning his head towards Alex. 

“After watching you like this? I’m shocked I haven’t lost it already.”

Maybe it’s just easy banter but Alex makes him feel so desirable, wanted.

There’s a soft sheen of sweat at Alex’s temple and Henry’s eyes track a bead of it slowly racing down the side of his face. Knowing that Alex is this riled up because of him just arouses Henry more.

He watches the muscles flex in Alex’s arm, studies the way his fingers wrap around his own cock and work over the shaft. It’s unbelievably erotic and Henry feels his cock swell as he studies Alex. Alex’s breath is shaky as he watches him in turn.

“See? This can be just as hot. Maybe even hotter,” Henry notes. “Mutual masturbation can really do the trick too. It’s a different way of thinking about touch.”

Alex nods in agreement or understanding as he leans over, lips already searching. Henry kisses him at once. It’s heated and messy and only spurs them both on. The bed shakes as they both work to get themselves off feverishly, the two whimpering and moaning as they go.

Alex’s tongue toys with Henry’s so expertly it makes Henry’s toes curl. It’s too much all at once and Henry’s resolve slips. He comes hard into his fist, gasping into Alex’s mouth.

He rests his forehead against Alex’s as the man reaches his end a few beats later. Henry’s eyes are glued on the sight, his throat dry watching Alex’s release spill onto his hand and stomach. The urge to taste him is overwhelming. It takes every bit of restraint he has not to lick him clean.

Alex’s breaths are shaky as they fan across Henry’s face.

“How’d I do?” Alex asks, voice strained. He pulls back enough to look Henry fully in the face. His eyes are bright and wild and Henry would bet every dollar he has that he looks exactly like this too.

He outstretches a hand, tucking it under Alex’s chin.

“Top marks, Mr. Claremont-Diaz. Ten out of bloody ten.”

~*~*~

Minneapolis, MN Day 2

The excitement for the Crescent Valley special seems to have taken on new life the following day. At the convention center this morning, it felt as if every other person Henry walked past was speculating about the show, shooting off their headcanons and best guesses at what the writers had planned. Much like yesterday, Henry felt like a fly on the wall, a spy behind enemy lines getting intel on the ground.

The cast has been privy to it all. After their signing, they all sat around backstage talking about all the messages they’ve been receiving from fans all over the world. Henry couldn’t wrap his mind around that, a life in the public eye where people from all corners of the earth knew his name and cared so deeply about the work he was doing that they’d invest so much of their time and energy into it.

Henry tagged along with Alex to the cast photoshoot downtown. Once more he was struck by just how different his life was from Alex’s and the way even Alex himself seemed to be two people in one. When the cameras were on him, he could bring forth a version of himself that fit the celebrity bill to a tee. But the second he was off on the sides, away from the spotlight, he was his down to earth self, making jokes and keeping things fun for everyone around him.

Upon their return to their hotel, they head to their respective rooms with promises to see each other again soon. 

In his room alone, Henry feels antsy for reasons he can’t explain. He watches a few episodes of Crescent Valley which is quickly (and still secretly) becoming his biggest guilty pleasure before he decides watching Alex on screen is no substitute for the real thing. He grabs his laptop and leaves his room, marching down the hall to Alex’s.

He knocks twice and stands back, running a hand through his hair, his brows lifting as Alex answers the door, a towel wrapped low on his hips, body glistening with water.

“Sorry, did you text me? I must have missed it.”

Henry shakes his head, mouth suddenly very dry.

“No, I thought I’d swing by, but I definitely should have reached out first. I didn’t mean to catch you at a bad time.”

“Don’t be ridiculous; come in.”

Henry tears his eyes away from Alex’s damp torso, in particular the water droplet that makes its way down from his chest to the towel at his hips.

He steps inside of Alex’s room.

“What brings you by? Missed me already?” he teases, unknowingly hitting right on the truth. 

Alex slips on a shirt, the fabric quickly blooming wet spots from Alex’s fresh-out-the-shower skin.

Henry turns away, letting him get dressed with some modicum of privacy.

“I wanted to share the preliminary draft pages I worked on yesterday. I know I could have emailed them and you could make edits in the doc, but I thought it might be more helpful to go over it together in person so we could talk through any suggestions or changes you might have.”

Alex comes into view from behind him and takes a seat on one of the two single seater armchairs in the room. He’s fully clothed now which is both a relief and a disappointment. Henry switches off the side of his brain that feels the latter.

Rule number one of this arrangement could not be any clearer. The book will always be their top priority.

Henry sits in the chair opposite Alex and sets his laptop down on the round table between them, opening up the document.

Alex pulls the laptop forward and Henry anxiously watches as Alex starts to read. Henry kicks himself then. Maybe he really should have simply shot Alex an email. Watching his reaction in real time is nerve-wracking even though Alex seems to be enjoying it.

“We’ve really been spending a lot of time together, haven’t we?” Alex says, looking over the top of the laptop at Henry when he’s done. “You’ve got my voice down so well. This is actually kind of scary. You see, this is why we wanted you. You’re incredible at what you do.”

Henry laughs and waves him off. “It’s nothing.”

Alex shakes his head. “It’s a gift, Henry. You’re like a shapeshifter. You forget, I’ve seen the samples from your previous works. Each piece is so singular. It’s wild to know you’re behind them all.”

Henry blushes a bit at the compliment. “That means a lot, thank you.”

Alex sets the computer aside.

“You’re always asking questions about me, let’s switch it up.”

Henry laughs. “I’m not the one with a memoir due out, now am I?”

“Hmm, no. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to learn more about you. So, tell me. Do you think you’d ever write a book of your own?”

Henry rubs the back of his neck. It’s strange being the one under the spotlight, even in a harmless moment like this where it’s just the two of them.

“I’ve thought about it before. More than that, I’ve made attempts, but I don’t know. I think I’ve gotten so used to losing myself in other people, I’m not sure there’s much of me left.”

Alex searches his eyes.

“You clearly have a voice, Henry. People already pay good money for it. Just imagine when it’s your own stories on those pages.”

Henry smiles. “I’ve started quite a few stories. But ghostwriting, it’s been steady, sure work.”

“But are you passionate about it?” Alex asks and Henry is a bit taken aback by how effortlessly Alex seems to see right through to the heart of the matter.

“That book you had with you that night in New York, the gamer guy. You didn’t look happy at all sitting there with it.”

Henry shrugs. “I was having a bit of doubt around my career when we met, yes. I’m sure these aren’t words you want to hear from the man currently working on your book.”

Alex waves him off. “At least it’s the truth. You should be excited about what you do. Writing is clearly what you’re good at. The way you’re able to voice all these different people, I can only imagine the characters you dream up. I’d hate for you to get a bad association with writing if you keep cranking out books that don’t motivate you.”

Henry frowns. 

“I am excited about working on this one with you,” he says.

Alex smirks. “Well, yeah, that’s because I’m awesome and who wouldn’t want to spend every waking moment with me? I’m a goddamn delight,” he jokes before growing serious again, leaning forward a little and holding Henry’s gaze.

“Can you promise me something, Hen? After you’re done with our book, can you get back to one of yours?”

“Your book,” Henry corrects. Alex jokingly snarls. “But fine, yes. I’ll try with it again.”

“Good because I really think you should go for it for real this time. You’ve got far too much talent to let your words just sit on your laptop or for your characters to only live in your head. The world needs to hear you and know your name.”

“You know, if acting ever stops working for you, you’d make a killing as a motivational speaker,” Henry says.

Alex laughs and closes the laptop.

“We’ll call that plan B. I like keeping my options open.”

He gets up and stretches out on his bed, propping his head up on his hand and looking at Henry.

“It’s much comfier over here,” he says.

Henry laughs softly at the not so subtle invitation, but he gets up and lays beside Alex, staring up at the ceiling. He can feel Alex’s eyes on him, feel the warmth of the man’s body so close to his. Most of all, he can feel the growing tension between them, born out of nothing more than simply being next to each other and sharing space.

Some distant part of Henry’s brain cautions him against this, telling him to somehow scale back this very obvious attraction he feels towards Alex, but at this point, it’s as natural as breathing. He couldn’t help it if he tried.

He turns his head and Alex is right there, bright eyes already fixed on him.

“Since we’re doing things a little differently tonight,” Henry says, “how about we apply that to today’s lesson as well?”

Alex’s brows furrow.

“How so?”

“It’s important to know what your partner is into, how they like to be touched and handled. You’ve been doing really well with that, but I realize, it’s been a bit one-sided.”

Alex shifts slightly, still looking perplexed.

“I like how things have been going.”

“That might be so, but I want you to enjoy this too. These lessons have been about teaching you how best to work with your partner, but you should be able to know how to advocate for what you want as well.”

“Again, for the record, I have in fact been enjoying the hell out of myself. But I get what you mean and I appreciate it.”

Henry nods. “So, with that in mind, if you’re up for it, I’d like for us to focus solely on your pleasure and your needs tonight.”

In the quiet of the room, Henry can perfectly hear the breath that falls from Alex’s lips. To his credit, Alex quickly composes himself and nods.

“Yeah, I’d be alright with that.”

Henry smiles and leans forward slowly, watching Alex’s lips part in anticipation for him before he presses their mouths together. Alex all but melts into him and Henry is right there with his arms circling his waist at once.

They take their time, hands wandering along the slopes of each other's bodies, their tongues savoring each other’s taste. Henry can’t imagine he could ever grow tired of kissing Alex and, distantly, he thinks of the fact that one day very soon, this will all come to an end.

He pushes the thought from mind, opting instead to focus on this present moment where Alex is his alone.

Henry breaks the kiss first, but his lips don’t go far. He peppers a trail of kisses along Alex’s jaw as the man tangles his fingers in his hair.

Henry lets out a soft sound as Alex tugs and presses their bodies closer, rolling his hips forward, rutting up against him. Henry grinds back, stifling a groan at how half hard Alex is already.

“Tell me what you want most right now.”

Alex sighs, tightening his grip on Henry’s strands. Henry can hear the sharp inhale he takes.

“I want you to go down on me,” Alex rasps, breath catching as Henry continues dropping kisses on his skin.

“With pleasure,” Henry whispers against the shell of Alex’s ear, nipping gently on the man’s earlobe. He earns a deep moan in response.

Alex sinks back down against the bed, reaching for his jeans but Henry shakes his head and takes a hold of his hands.

“Allow me.”

Alex mutters a curse under his breath, his brown eyes growing darker still as he nods. Henry lets go of Alex’s hands and the man settles more, his arms folding behind his head as Henry begins to undo his jeans.

“Enjoying the view, are we?” Henry teases.

Alex grins shamelessly and shrugs. 

“A guy could get used to this.”

Henry laughs and places a kiss against his hip before removing the rest of his clothes. He’s hardly a stranger to Alex’s body but still, being faced with it like this makes him a bit speechless.

He runs his hands up the length of Alex’s thighs which the man spreads, a silent invitation to all of him.

Henry curses. Alex merely smirks.

How could it be that one person can be both his salvation and damnation? 

Henry lays on his stomach and skims his fingers along Alex’s inner thighs and feels the instant tremor in the man’s legs, watching how much his cock stiffens almost instantly. A pearl of precome gathers at this tip. Henry’s eager to taste it.

He decides to take mercy on them both and takes a hold of Alex’s cock, giving him a few steady strokes before taking him slowly into his mouth.

“Thank God, I was about to start begging,” Alex huffs.

Henry smiles to himself.

“Damn, should have held out a moment longer,” he teases before sucking softly on the tip of Alex’s cock, still taking his time but giving Alex enough to know he’s not being toyed with.

“Henry.” The name falls from his tongue in a fierce growl.

When those rich brown eyes land on him, Henry hardly recognizes them. Gone is the humor, the teasing.

In its place is something so carnal and exact it pierces right through Henry and leaves him aching for more. He opens his mouth further and takes more of Alex. He closes his eyes and moans, letting his tongue swirl on the underside of the man’s cock. He massages his balls, squeezing them here and there as he goes.

Alex’s hips tip upwards and Henry pays close attention to what techniques get the biggest reactions from Alex.

The man is never shy or unresponsive in the bedroom and now more than ever, Henry appreciates how vocal Alex can be.

He repeats his ministrations, all too pleased to hear every sound his actions coax out of Alex.

He takes him down deeper, his jaw slackening to accommodate. Henry feels his eyes water a little, but he keeps going, a deep moan emitting from him as Alex’s cock hits the back of his throat. 

Alex trembles like never before. Henry half expects him to be levitating, suspended in some other plane of existence entirely. It only makes Henry double down. He can taste Alex on his tongue, feel the early traces of his release. Alex is right there teetering on the edge.

Henry keeps his touches deliberate, the tips of his fingers gently skimming across Alex’s inner thighs once more. 

“Fuck,” the man hisses from above. Henry looks at him, feeling himself harden at the sight of Alex covering his mouth with the back of his hand, his fingers curling into a fist.

Noted, Henry thinks to himself, pleased to discover one of Alex’s weaknesses.

“Wait,” Alex chokes out. 

Henry pulls away immediately and takes the time to catch his breath.

“I want…,” Alex rasps. “Fuck, I don’t want to you to stop, but I don’t want to come like this. I want…I don’t know.”

“More?” Henry asks. Alex nods heavily, his legs trembling.

Henry places a kiss on each of Alex’s thighs before getting up on his knees. 

“I need you to be specific then. More could mean anything.”

Heat rushes to Alex’s already flushed face.

“Well, if we’re keeping with the theme of doing things a bit different…I, uh, I kinda want to try something new. I didn’t put it on the syllabus because we didn’t do it that night and, well, I don’t even know if it’s something you’d be into.”

Alex sighs, picking absentmindedly at the bedding.

“This would completely blow past other steps we should probably take first, but it’d be so…it would be everything. God, this is embarrassing as hell.”

Henry places a reassuring hand on Alex’s knee.

“It’s okay. We can talk about it. What’s going on?”

Alex licks his lips and looks away, still picking away  at the bedspread before catching Henry’s eye again.

“Since you’re down there, I mean, I wouldn’t exactly be opposed to feeling your mouth elsewhere…or your tongue. God, don’t make me say it. Is that specific enough?”

Henry quirks a brow. “I think so,” he says, gently slipping a hand under Alex’s ass, his thumb ghosting over his entrance. Henry stares at him, silently asking.

Alex shivers, eyes fluttering for a moment as a look of relief washes over his face.

“Yeah, I wanna feel you there,” he says as he settles back, taking a breath. “I want to know what it’s like. I've seen videos and I’ve…always wondered.”

Henry brushes his thumb against him again as he nods. 

“Let’s not keep you waiting then, love.” 

Alex’s eyes go comically wide. 

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Henry echoes. 

This may indeed be more advanced than where they are in Alex’s outline, but Henry reasons it’s a worthy exception. It’d be a different case if the roles were reversed. He knows what he’s doing here and Henry is a man of his word. This is something Alex has been curious about and he’ll provide a safe space for him to explore it.

Henry grabs a pillow and descends again. He positions the pillow under Alex right on his lower back, giving himself better access. Alex takes a deep breath and swallows hard.

“Doing okay?” Henry asks, lightly stroking Alex’s cock.

Alex nods twice. “Yeah, keep going. I’m ready,” he assures. 

Henry smiles at him before turning his attention to Alex’s entrance. He maintains his hold on Alex’s cock and licks experimentally at his rim.

Alex cries out sharply, his cock twitching, a telltale sign of his arousal at this new development.

“Holy shit. That’s it. Again, sweetheart, please,” Alex sputters.

Henry doesn’t hesitate. He licks again, slower this time before swirling his tongue. Alex huffs out a rough breath. Henry repeats the move over and over, taking his time and letting Alex truly experience these new sensations. 

Alex opens beautifully for him. Henry’s own cock feels heavy between his legs but he ignores it, so focused and devoted to the task of pleasuring Alex as he wants. 

His tongue delves in deeper, gently probing now, and greedily searching. Alex’s whole body twitches. He gets a hand in Henry’s hair and tugs.

“Oh, my fucking god,” Alex chokes out, his legs instinctively trying to squeeze shut. But with Henry so firmly in place, the move merely traps Henry further.

He lets out a moan, knowing the vibrations will only heighten the sensations coursing through Alex. He gets his confirmation as Alex lets loose another curse, his breaths raspy and uneven. 

Henry’s hand continues to pump Alex’s shaft. He can feel Alex’s resolve slipping in the way his cock drips and his walls tighten. But Henry doesn’t let up; he takes these cues as motivation to keep going, to dive deeper inside of Alex, leaving every bit of Alex explored. He can feel Alex’s walls clenching more as he gets more vocal. Alex fucks into his fist, back arching a bit before he thrashes against the bed.

A flurry of curses and moans fall from Alex’s lips. Henry’s thumb encircles the head of Alex’s leaking cock as he rolls his tongue inside him once more. He nibbles softly, smirking as Alex cries out again. Henry could spend hours like this, but from Alex’s sharp reactions, he knows it’s only a matter of time before he breaks.

Henry rolls his tongue faster, squeezing Alex just under the head of his cock. Alex shudders hard and grabs a fist full of Henry’s hair, panting and riding his tongue, begging Henry not to stop. 

It’s a pointless request as Henry has absolutely no intentions of slowing down, let alone cutting things short all together. He strokes Alex again, getting lost inside Alex and sending another moan through him.

Alex slams his other hand down against the bed and makes a choked sound before crying out as he reaches his end. His release coats Henry’s fist, makes a mess of his fingers but Henry doesn’t stop. He carries Alex through his orgasm, delighting in the soft broken sounds that escape his mouth as he rides out the wave. 

It’s only when Alex falls back against the bed and stills that Henry resurfaces. 

He finds Alex still catching his breath, his fixed to one spot on the ceiling, eyelashes and cheeks wet. Henry settles into the spot beside Alex and kisses his shoulder lightly. 

“I’m starting to think you aren’t actually real. Or maybe you're like, some kind of sex god that got put in that bar that night to completely wreck me,” Alex muses, turning his head to face him.

Henry laughs. “I’m going to hold you personally responsible when I inevitably turn into a raging egomaniac.”

Alex shakes his head. “You’d deserve to gloat. Fuck, you’re really a pro at all this stuff.”

A smile works its way onto Henry’s face as he props his head up on his clean hand.

He sucks his index finger into his mouth, eyes fixed on Alex’s as he tastes him. Alex stares in stunned silence for a moment before he curses.

“Years at all-boys boarding schools will do that to a person,” Henry says, picking back up the conversation as if nothing has happened. “I’m glad I could make you feel good.”

Alex shakes his head as if to clear it.

“We can safely add that to the list of things I like,” Alex says. “Shit, that’s officially in first place actually.”

Henry laughs. “Welcome to the exciting world of rimming.”

“I really like it here. I’m moving in as we speak.”

Alex laughs breathlessly and searches Henry’s eyes for a moment, a bit of uncertainty in his gaze the longer he stares. He reaches out a hand and traces the curve of Henry’s bottom lip with his knuckles.

Henry wonders if Alex even realizes how intimate his little touches can be. 

“We’re still doing what I want, right?” Alex asks, lowering his hand. 

Henry can still feel his touch like a phantom sensation on his lip.

He nods slowly, curious what Alex has in mind.

“The night is completely yours, yes.”

Alex looks down between Henry’s legs where his sweatpants do absolutely nothing to hide his arousal. 

Alex clenches his jaw, the muscle flexing. He looks away again, back at Henry’s face. His fingertips ghost along Henry’s inner arm instead now. 

Henry can feel goosebumps rise in their wake. Truly, did Alex not know how much he was making him come undone with these subtleties?

“In that case, I want to watch you get yourself off and when you do, I want it to be on me.”

Henry’s brows shoot up to his hairline.

“Is that too much?” Alex asks.

Henry quickly shakes his head to dispel his worries.

“Not at all. I’m just surprised. I didn’t see that request coming.”

Alex laughs deeply. 

“Hey, man. I haven’t stopped thinking about you touching yourself since that one magical night. You can’t give me an experience like that and not expect me to want a repeat.”

Henry laughs. “I never said I had any objections,” he counters smoothly, already reaching for his waistband and slipping out of his sweats and boxer briefs in one fell swoop.

“In fact, I’d be all too happy and willing to oblige.”

He switches his position and straddles Alex’s waist, settling on top of him, his messy right hand already on his own slick cock. It’s filthy, but Henry hardly cares and judging by how hard Alex swallows and stares up at him, the other man doesn’t mind either.

Henry doesn’t bat an eyelash as he sets a slow rhythm on himself and stares back, anchoring his free hand to the center of Alex’s abdomen.

“This is so fucking hot,” Alex murmurs, rubbing circles against Henry’s thighs at once.

Henry laughs softly before growing serious again, keeping his eyes trained on Alex’s face. He rolls his hips over him, moaning at the feel of Alex’s spent cock against his ass.

The way Alex looks at him, so intent with sheer wonder, it makes it easy to slip up and forget that this isn’t something Henry gets to keep.

“You’re so goddamn gorgeous like this, Henry. Seriously. Shit. So, so beautiful and good for me.”

Henry shivers at that, basking in the praise. He grinds once more against Alex’s cock, biting back on his lower lip.

Alex reaches a hand forward and tugs Henry’s lip free with his thumb.

“I want to hear you when you lose it. Don’t get quiet on me. I want to know how badly this gets to you, sweetheart.”

“Christ, Alex,” he mutters, feeling the command squarely between his legs.

Henry teases his slit, hissing at how sensitive the flesh is. He lets out a moan unabashedly as he trembles.

“Good. Just like that,” Alex whispers and Henry has no clue how the power dynamic has shifted, but he feels so desperate to keep hearing Alex talk to him like this. 

He can see the moment it fully clicks too in Alex’s eyes. That wicked smirk Henry has been obsessed with since day one makes its way onto Alex’s lips.

“You like that, don’t you? Being good for me? Putting on a show only I can see?”

Henry gasps, his hand moving faster along his shaft. His throat feels dry, his heart racing, but he doesn’t let up for even a second. He nods obediently and whimpers in response.

“Yeah, I can tell you do,” Alex continues, rubbing Henry’s thighs again. 

A keening noise slips from Henry’s lips. 

“You like being all mine. Having me watch you. It drives you crazy, doesn’t it? I bet you want me to touch you. But I know you can continue being good for me. I know you can get yourself there. Go ahead. Show me how good you can be, sweetheart.”

Alex’s hands find their way to his ass and grip Henry tightly. Henry arches his back and cries out, his hips rolling once more, cock leaking. He encircles his tip with his thumb, staring into Alex’s hungry eyes as his palm slides up and down his throbbing shaft.

“I’m so close,” Henry pants.

“I know. Let it out. You’ve been so good. You’ve earned this. Come for me. Nice and hard, baby, right on me.”

It’s the pet name most of all that sends Henry careening off the edge. He moans Alex’s name as he comes, his body shaking with the sheer force of it.

His release paints streaks across Alex’s stomach and chest. Henry can feel his face flush seeing just how hard his orgasm hits, the rivulets of his finish thick against Alex's skin. But Alex’s darkened eyes eliminate any fear or concern that this is all too much.

Alex sits up just enough to kiss him. It’s heated and sloppy and Henry can’t get enough of it. He strokes Alex’s cheek as they kiss, moaning into the man’s mouth. It takes every bit of his willpower to pull away.

“Maybe we should add that to the syllabus?” Alex says. “We kinda slipped into new territory there with dirty talk at the end. Are you okay? I’m sorry if I went too far.”

Henry leans in and kisses Alex twice. “Not in the least,” he assures. 

“We’ll call that extra credit, but yes. We can cover that down the line if you want, but I’m telling you right now, you don’t actually need instruction there. As you saw firsthand, it’s another thing I enjoy and you’re damn good at it. Scary good. Don’t be afraid to lean into that with me. It's fully encouraged.”

He smiles at Alex who looks relieved. Henry kisses his cheek. He looks down at the complete mess of their bodies, perhaps more aroused than he ought to be at the sight.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Let’s get us cleaned up. Shower with me? I wouldn’t say no to round two in there,” Alex says, wiggling his brows.

Henry shakes his head in disbelief.

“It’s going to be a long night, isn’t it?”

Alex searches his eyes, his head tipping to the side, his curls falling over his eyes. It’s far more adorable than a scenario like this should be, but it makes Henry weak; he knows he can’t resist Alex when the man looks like this. He suspects Alex is aware too as his perfect mouth curls into a smirk and he replies.

“Yeah, but I promise, you’re going to love every second of it.”

~*~*~

Memphis, TN Comic and Fantasy Convention Day 1

“How far are you into the show?” Alex as he sits cross-legged on his hotel bed.

Henry sits at the desk in Alex’s room with his laptop out, taking advantage of the fact that they’re still wired from traveling. They arrived in Memphis a mere four hours ago ahead of tomorrow’s convention. It only gave them enough time to grab a bite and scrub the smell and germs of the airport and Uber off themselves before checking in.

The pace at which Alex hops on flights and gets settled into new cities is mind-boggling, but Henry is grateful that at least this time around, they’re actually in the same time zone from the last city they were in. 

He has to admit, it is exciting. But he can’t help but to wonder what it would be like doing this alone like Alex ordinarily does. 

He makes a note to himself in his document to ask Alex about that at some point.

“Just started series three,” Henry says. “I’ve been live texting Pez. Rather, he’s been ambushing me with messages, asking after my progress. He still can’t believe I’m touring with you. Crescent Valley was so major to him when we were at school. He’d beg me to watch, but I never did and somehow I managed to miss one of the greatest cultural phenomenons of our generation.”

Alex smiles. “You ever think about how differently that night in New York would have gone had you known who I was?”

Henry pauses and considers how to answer. After getting the shock of his life in going to that lunch and finding himself seated with none other than the man he’d slept with the night before who, on top of that, turned out to be a celebrity was (and still remained) hard to fully wrap his mind around.

Henry’s simply glad for the fact that he and Alex have been able to make the most of it, to actually become friends despite the rocky start.

“I have. But I think I prefer the course it actually took. Makes for a more compelling story,” he says. 

Henry falters for a moment.

“If I had recognized you though, do you think you would have still gone through with it all?”

Alex smiles thoughtfully. “It wouldn’t have changed how I felt…or what I wanted with you. I wouldn’t have been able to resist.”

Henry searches his eyes and feels his heart beat a little faster at Alex’s candor as he tries not to think too heavily on the implications of Alex’s words. Whatever the risk might have been, Alex deemed him worth it.

He licks his lips and forces himself to look away, to break the spell of Alex’s eyes.

“Let’s talk about the early days of your career,” Henry says, grabbing his phone and opening the voice app to record. 

“According to your Wiki page, you got your start doing commercials as a child in Austin. Is that true?” Henry asks.

“As you can imagine after looking at me now, I was freaking adorable as a kid. I think I had too much personality and energy to contain inside the house without driving my family crazy. I’ve always felt comfortable in front of people and playing pretend. It seemed like a natural fit. I could lose myself in a role. During the times my parents’ fights got to be too loud, I’d just go into the backyard and dream up another life for myself time and time again.”

Alex shifts on the bed, grabbing a pillow and dropping it into his lap.

“I booked a few local spots and moved on to theater. That opened up a whole new avenue and I think that’s when I fully realized just how much I loved inhabiting a character and getting to work off other people’s energy. With commercials, it was a few lines here and there. You’d film that one day, maybe two depending on the situation and then you’d move on. But with the stage, I got to live and breathe those characters on a daily basis. It was straight up magic.”

Henry smiles.

“What prompted you to then find a bigger stage? A life in California doing television and film?”

Alex mulls it over for a moment.

“I started to feel like a big fish in a little pond. And I don’t mean to sound like an asshole, like theater was somehow beneath me or something. I’ll always love stagework and honestly, I’d love to return to it someday. I just…felt a calling elsewhere at that time as I got older. I felt myself being pulled out there.”

Alex grows quiet for a moment as he travels back in his memories.

“It was an open call for Crescent Valley,” Alex says. “Looking back on it, I honestly still can’t believe that from the thousands of guys who auditioned, they saw something unique in me to say, ‘yeah, that’s who this show needs in this role’. I’ve never been one to believe in fate and all that stuff, but when something life-changing like this happens to you, it’s kinda hard to rule it out completely.”

Henry smiles to himself. The action must not go unnoticed.

“What?” Alex asks.

Henry looks at him and shrugs.

“Nothing. It’s interesting hearing you talk sometimes. You’re a bit of a romantic.”

Alex seems to consider this for a moment.

“Certain things bring it out of me.”

Henry wonders if the same could be said about people.

Henry gets them back on track and he digs further into asking questions about Alex’s career, his foray into film as well. Alex is such a great conversationalist, his stories always laced with humor and interesting asides. It makes Henry all the more excited about working deeper on the preliminary pages and delving further with his voice for these segments. 

They talk for another hour but it hardly feels laborious or tiring. It hardly even feels like work at all. Ultimately Henry puts a pin in their talk when he notes the hour. It’s creeping close to midnight and Alex has an early morning phone interview ahead of the con and Henry wants to work on transcribing this conversation.

“Calling it a night so soon?” Alex says, as if he doesn’t have a busy day ahead of himself.

Henry laughs and swivels around to look at him. Alex is still seated on the bed, but his arms are outstretched behind him. It’s a casual pose, though something in his eyes betrays the effect. 

“Do I sense the next item on the syllabus coming to the forefront with mere minutes to spare before a brand new day?” 

Henry has the document cemented in his mind. He knows exactly what lesson is next.

Oral.

Alex shrugs. “I’m not tired. Are you?”

Henry can’t resist taking the bait. He can pull an all-nighter after this.

“I’ll defer to you. How would you like the practical to go?”

Alex smiles, his expression a bit thoughtful.

“In Minnesota, you were incredible. Bold even,” he continues. “I’ve been wanting to put into practice the things you did to me and I’d love to figure out what makes you tick too.”

Henry is certain his face is red. He can feel warmth flood his cheeks, curious as to how often Alex allows himself to picture it.

“If that’s what you want, then yes.”

Alex looks at him, shaking his head slightly.

“Is it something you’d want?” Alex counters, moving the pillow off of himself.

Henry mirrors his stare.

“Of course,” he says, seeing little use in pretending otherwise.

“Then let me hear you say it plainly. I won’t lay a single finger on you unless I know you want it too.”

Henry’s heart races, beats right up to his throat. He keeps his face as neutral as he can as he speaks though, inside, his mind is a riot.

“I want you on your knees for me, Alex. I want you to taste me.”

Alex breathes a little heavier but he doesn’t say a word as he gets up and crosses the small space between them to where Henry sits at the desk. He settles on Henry’s lap and immediately Henry feels his own cock stiffen in response. Alex’s confidence is extremely attractive. His body can’t help but to react to it.

“I know how much you like the buildup,” Alex says quietly, running a hand slowly up under Henry’s shirt, his palm skimming his bare skin.

Henry shivers. Alex merely smirks.

“I’ll give you what you want. I’ll take my time with you.”

He leans in and kisses Henry, his mouth inviting and all too familiar. Henry feels his body relax further as they kiss. Alex’s thumb rubs against his nipple and Henry trembles in response. He can feel Alex smiling once more against his lips before doing it again on the other side. Henry can feel the delicate skin grow harder, among other things.

From his position on his lap, Henry knows Alex can feel it too.

Alex’s touch is feather-light as his hand brushes Henry between his legs for the briefest of seconds. It’s downright tortuous, but Henry wouldn’t have it any other way. He kisses Alex with renewed vigor, his right hand slipping into the man’s hair and pulling him closer. He opens his mouth to Alex, letting their tongues meet. Alex’s hand slips under Henry’s shirt once more, fingernails scratching teasingly down across his skin. Henry’s hips jerk forward on their own accord.

Alex has learned what he likes so well now, keeping up his promise from before and not rushing matters. Henry deepens the kiss, moaning deeply as his fingers continue curling in Alex’s hair and his tongue ensnares Alex’s.

Henry craves more and Alex seems to understand as he grinds down on him. Henry is almost unbearably hard.

Alex pulls away slowly just then and settles down on his knees, peering right up at Henry through his lashes all the while.

Henry shakes his head in disbelief of how gorgeous Alex looks. There’s something sweet yet tantalizing in his gaze. It completely wrecks Henry already.

Alex undoes Henry’s jeans and slips his cock out. His face feels hot Alex takes a hold of him and licks a languid strip up the underside from root to tip.

“Alex,” Henry gasps, clutching the arms of the chair. 

He hadn’t been expecting this level of assurance from him right out the gate. Henry doesn’t think he will need to guide Alex much—if at all— through this lesson if he’s hitting the ground running like this.

Alex’s face is the picture of innocence, as if he has no clue the kind of frenzy he’s causing to flare up inside Henry now. He repeats the move and Henry thinks he’s prepared for it, but he’s quickly thrown off in the best way as Alex’s lips wrap around the head of his cock and he begins to suck.

Henry’s knuckles turn even whiter as he grips the chair tighter still as he studies the way Alex’s pretty mouth looks wrapped around him.

“Someone’s been doing some studying on the side I see,” he manages to say, his voice wavering.

Alex smirks and it’s so unbelievably sexy to see the mischievous sparkle in his eyes. He slips Henry out of his mouth.

“Oh, you do not want to see my browser history,” he says before taking him in again.

Henry sucks in a breath. “Actually, I think I would rather enjoy a peek at that.”

Alex laughs before sobering up and focusing his attention once more. He pumps his hand along the hilt of Henry’s cock as his tongue swirls around the head. Henry feels overstimulated in a good way, his whole body buzzing as Alex works him over.

Alex plants his left hand on Henry’s thigh and takes in more of his length a bit quickly.

“Nice and slow, darling,” Henry gently reminds him. “You’re doing so well,” he continues, running his fingers through Alex’s curls. 

Alex slows his pace again and sets a rhythm as his head angles this way and that way, moaning deeply as he sucks Henry off.

“There you go,” Henry says softly, cock throbbing at the attention to it. “It’s like your mouth was made just for me.”

Alex glances up at him, eyelashes casting shadows against his sharp cheekbones. Henry can barely handle the sight of his perfect full lips wrapped around his cock. It takes everything in Henry not to thrust forward and fuck into the wet heat of his mouth. It’s a close thing as Alex blinks prettily and takes him in just a bit more, clearly testing his own limits.

Alex’s tongue is relentless, snaking around his length with ease. Henry murmurs continued praise, his body feeling limp as Alex tends to him.

After a moment, Alex slips off of him, but his hand is right there without missing a beat, jerking him off as his tongue laps against one of his balls. 

Henry jerks forward involuntarily. Alex peers up at him, a question in his eyes. Henry merely brushes his curls off his forehead.

“Keep going, love. That feels amazing.”

Alex nods once and licks again before popping one of his balls into his mouth. Henry groans, grip tightening on Alex’s curls as he gently rolling his hips. Alex gives the same treatment to his other ball before getting his glorious mouth back on Henry’s cock.

Henry shudders feeling Alex’s tongue run along his shaft once more. He feels like he could just about explode.

“Alex, I’m not going to last much longer,” he warns, the pressure in the pit of his stomach reaching a fever pitch.

Alex doesn’t break his stride, not even a little. It’s almost as if he hasn’t heard Henry at all. His head bobs as he sucks him off, his tongue brushing here and there. The combination feels so good, Henry can only surrender to it further.

“Alex,” he cautions again more firmly, but the man doesn’t relent. He merely locks eyes with Henry and slackens his jaw a little as he kneads Henry’s balls.

Henry bites back on his lower lip at Alex’s tightening grip, his tongue pressing a sensitive spot just under the head of his cock and Henry loses it instantly.

His body shudders as he comes, a soft laugh falling from his lips. His instinct is to close his eyes and ride it out, but he refuses to deprive himself of the sight of Alex nestled between his legs, dutifully taking him, tasting him as requested.

The sight is downright obscene. Alex swallows down what he can, but his mouth is a mess as Henry’s release drips down from the corners. He can’t look away, especially with how Alex smirks and stares back almost defiantly.

Henry takes a breath as he comes back down to earth.

Alex merely wipes at his lips and chin with the back of his hand. 

“Come here,” Henry says, his voice completely shot as he pats his leg twice.

Alex gets to his feet shakily and perches in Henry’s lap again. He looks to Henry expectantly, searching his eyes. 

Henry cups his face, eyes drifting to Alex’s mouth.

“Was that okay? Should I have done anything differently?” Alex asks, wrapping an arm around Henry’s shoulders.

Henry leans in and kisses him deeply, tasting himself on Alex’s tongue as he explores his mouth. It only drives him madder. Alex gets his fingers in his hair, kissing him back roughly.

“I guess I was pretty decent then if you’ve got no compliments, huh?” Alex remarks in between kisses.

Henry laughs in spite of himself.

“You’re an absolute menace. Did you know that?”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean. I’m a goddamn saint.”

Henry rolls his eyes and kisses the tip of Alex’s nose.

“Shall I get you off?” he asks. “You must be like a rock right now.”

Alex smiles. “It’s nothing I can’t handle in the shower.”

Henry makes a wounded sound in the back of his throat at the mental image.

Alex cackles and kisses him, taking a hold of Henry’s hand and slipping it into his pants. Henry shivers as he grasps him. 

It’s just as he suspected. He’s so hard and wet, Henry knows it won’t take much to get Alex to finish. He brushes his thumb back and forth along the man’s shaft. Alex’s eyes flutter at the sensation. He hums softly, lightly combing his fingers through the hair at the back of Henry’s head.

“I mean, I guess you could do it for me. That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” he muses.

Henry laughs and kisses him again, stroking his cock in earnest as they get lost in each other. He can’t get enough of the way Alex responds to him, hips jerking forward, moans pouring from his mouth, goosebumps blooming on his skin all because of him.

Surely, he thinks, they both have lost their minds for getting tangled up in this arrangement. But Henry is so grateful for it. Once upon a time, he used to be the most straight-laced individual in the world. Now that he knows this life of recklessness, he’s not entirely sure he could ever go back completely.

Henry breaks their kiss and begins sucking on Alex’s clavicle.

Alex all out fucks into his fist, soft grunts emitting from him. Henry is obsessed with it all. He bites down on Alex’s collarbone and sucks harder, letting the tip of his tongue skim along the spot he’s bitten.

Alex moans his name and Henry quickens his speed against his shaft, tightening his grip as Alex bucks forward over and over again until his breath catches. He goes flying over the edge and Henry diligently helps him through the aftershocks, kissing up to his neck, along his jawline, and back to his lips.

“Dammit, Henry,” Alex hisses against his mouth, taking a few heavy breaths. “I can’t get enough of you.”

Henry rests his forehead on Alex’s and pecks his lips once.

“Darling, there’s no limit. You can have it all.”

[beatificwrites]

Your Flaws (Klaus Mikaelson x gn!reader)

first vampire diaries fic! some love for the hyrid

word count: 2.2k

content: lil angst, mentions of blood and violence, the originals S3 spoilers, sad boy klaus

summary: after almost losing your life, you confess and show this man that even tho he’s not as loved by others, you’ll always love him

With the ongoing war between the sire lines and Aurora on the loose, your life was in danger as it was being threatened almost every day by the redhead. She had attempted to end your life on multiple occasions but without success due to having Hayley as your bodyguard because of Klaus’ orders.

You and Klaus had known each other for a while now, you weren’t dating or anything, just friends.

At first, you were unknowingly compelled to write his “memoir” but that slowly turned into a poor excuse for a therapist.

Through your talks, which were just him venting about his chaotic siblings and occasionally his upbringing, he began to trust you and felt as if you were the only person who understood him for who he truly was.

You eventually found out about the compulsion and how he was making you forget your conversations as soon as you left the compound.

Nevertheless, you chose to stay and to continue listen to him. You were mad and confused at first but with time you understood why he needed you.

You were the only person who for some odd reason, accepted him. Of course, you weren’t blind or anything, he did awful things, straight up evil acts but that didn’t mean his behavior couldn’t be changed.

You saw in him what others didn’t, not even his brother Elijah. You saw the hidden potential and truly believed you could stir him in a positive direction, for his daughter’s sake and her future. He just needed help getting there and his loved ones by his side.

You were slow to realize it but you had fallen madly in love with the world’s most feared creature. You tried so hard to deny it, tried so hard to push those feelings away in fear of getting involved. In fear of getting caught in the middle of some vampire fight and ending up another innocent human being who fell victim.

However, your fate was inevitable; Aurora coming for you was bound to happen some way or another.

As you grabbed your bag and flipped the ‘open’ sign backwards to say ‘closed’, Hayley appeared with a smile on her face.

“Ready for another walk home, your majesty?” she teased.

“Oh, shut up. You don’t have to do this, you know?” you said as you two began to walk away from your shop.

“I hate taking orders from Klaus but he’s right, you’re defenseless against that Aurora chick.”

“Ugh, why am I even a target? Him and I aren’t even together.” you groaned, secretly wishing you were his.

On second thought, you remembered you had accidentally left your notebook at the Mikaelson home and desperately needed it back.

“Hey, instead of taking me home, can we go over to the compound? I left a notebook; I need it for tomorrow.” You stopped in your steps.

Hayley stopped too and replied, “Well, I can just get for you in the morning.”

“No, I want it now.” you quickly said.

“Alright, fine let’s make this quick.”

From there, you two walked from the town square to the Mikaelson home as you hoped your notebook with all your important info wasn’t taken.

You arrived in front the stone walls and as you were about to walk in, you suddenly heard Hayley begin to yell in what seemed like extreme pain.

You whip around confused and yelp as you feel the wind knocked out of you. You fall harshly onto the pavement.

You manage to see Aurora’s fiery red hair and her figure with some witch standing beside Hayley, holding her hand up into a fist, ensorcelling her with whatever enchantment she was shouting.

Hayley held her head as it throbbed with pain and tried to get up and fight but to no avail.

“I see Niklaus has lowered himself and his standards in the past few centuries after leaving me,” the redhead muttered.

“This shall be my small Christmas gift to him!” she exclaimed as she abruptly yanked you up from the ground, threw you up against the wall and ruthlessly drank out of your smooth neck.

You screamed as you felt her sharp teeth sink and tear into your flesh. You gripped onto her shoulders, attempting to push her off with the only strength you had left.

You attempts failed to work and yet you felt determined to keep on trying.

No matter how many times you kicked and punched, Aurora was ultimately stronger and within a few minutes you fell onto the ground again, this time completely unconscious.

With a brisk snap of a finger, the witch put Hayley to sleep and Aurora wiped the corners of her mouth that were stained with blood.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here before anyone comes around. I want him to have the surprise,” she took out her small compact mirror to admire herself.

“Oh, and take the wolf girl. She absolutely reeks but I’m sure brother wouldn’t mind showing this one who’s boss.” Aurora ordered as she checked herself once again.

༶•┈┈୨୧┈┈•༶

Klaus had found you outside the compound, lying in a pool of your own blood, body almost lifeless. He instantly dropped to his knees and shouted in agony as he held you, smearing the red matter on himself.

He cried in silence and tightened his grip. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing you and now he had to. All because of the damn Strix and Aurora. He wouldn’t give her the luxury of breathing another second.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this, he thought.

He had never felt this much anguish for anyone but his siblings. You meant so much more to him than he let on. He fell for you and didn’t need you to know, for all he knew he was a dangerous being and you deserved someone better; a man unlike himself.

He also found it hard to believe you would ever reciprocate his feelings. It was quite unlike him to feel that way, usually he prided himself in knowing all kinds of people fall at their feet for him. But once he met you, his charms never seemed to work. He learned to respect you and consider you off limits soon as he fell for you.

You woke up gasping violently out of nowhere. You looked everywhere in confusion.

As he felt what he thought was your corpse, move, he remained still as he let the relief wash over him but now it was his turn to be confused.

He wondered how you survived and who’s blood was in your system if not his? He hadn’t healed you recently.

“What the hell happened?! No, how the hell am I still here?!” you questioned, trying to make some sense of the situation.

“What do you remember?” he demanded.

“Aurora and some witch took us down right before I could come in,” you spoke rapidly, the memories all flowing back.

“I obviously didn’t have the strength to put up with her.” you sighed.

He looked at your neck and noticed the bite had begun to heal.

“You’re healing. You’re in transition now.” he picked you up abruptly and took you to his room before you could say anything else.

As he gently placed you on the soft sheets, he began to question you.

“What do you remember from earlier today? Anything unusual?” he sat on the bed in front of you.

You tried to think, tried to think about what had happened before you closed up tonight. Then, you felt the memories appear left and right, you could vividly recall everything that happened. You suppose it was wiped before.

“Today, I had an accident in the back of the shop and cut myself on a few shards of glass,” you closed your eyes as you pictured it.

“The..the new guy! Chris! He heard me yell and came to see what was going on. He noticed the blood and saw the mess then told me to calm down before practically shoving his arm in my mouth and telling me to drink.” you finished, still in shock.

“Chris saved your life today.” Klaus said as he looked at you.

“So, that’s how you become a vampire? You have to get hurt and drink blood?” you asked.

“You must die with vampire blood in your system in order to turn. Getting hurt is not a necessary step.” he explained.

“Am I like you now? Do I get the cool speed too?” you giggled.

Klaus’ eyes widened and he smiled in surprise before saying, “Is that what you want? If so, you won’t be exactly like me, love.”

“Right, minus the whole original thing, I’m immortal now.” you nodded, accepting your new fate.

You weren’t opposed to vampirism, just didn’t want to get involved with the petty fights. Your new strengths seemed pretty cool to you too.

“Not proud to admit but you had me quite worried back there.” he confessed as he looked down.

“Wow. The Klaus Mikaelson confesses to feeling fear!” you joked.

He briefly chuckled before meeting your eye again, “I’m being serious. I don’t think I could stand to lose you like that.”

You smiled warmly at him for caring for you. You appreciated how he looked after you. You could tell he probably felt something for you too but was unwilling to say. You noticed the lingering stares and the way he was so protective over you even though he knew you could handle yourself.

“Soon you’ll start to feel a massive hunger and you won’t be able to fight it for long,” he started.

“I’ll find some lowlife for you to feed on.” he said nonchalantly.

“Bold of you to assume I want to eat someone. I thought vampires could survive on just blood bags?”

“When you first turn, in order to complete the transition, you must feed on a person or else you die.” he explained further.

You huffed in disbelief. Okay, you were definitely opposed to the feeding on people part of vampirism, however your life is on the line and if you don’t do anything then this second shot at life you’ve gotten would have been for nothing.

“I hate this..but I’ll do it.” you released a sigh.

When you realized this was the perfect opportunity to say what you so badly wanted to say, you felt this sudden rush of confidence. You let the intrusive thought be carried out.

“I’ll do it for you, Klaus. Well, I live for myself, but I want to live for somebody else for once too.” you admitted as you met his eyes.

Surprised when the expected smug smile didn’t show, you began to get nervous. Oh no, maybe you made the wrong move. Maybe you misread, maybe he’s not into you at all. At least, not in the way you thought he was.

“Fuck it, I already started so I’m finishing this. I’m in love with you, okay? I couldn’t help myself.” you confessed.

He looked at you in shock for a moment, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“You are the light in my darkness, and I’ll always be drawn to you. But a person such as yourself does not deserve a bastard like me.”

Your brows furrowed and you sprung up from where you were laying down and looked at his face more closely.

“Well, I think otherwise. I see past the guy who thinks he doesn’t deserve me because I love him regardless.” you cupped his cheek.

This was so unlike him. He was supposed to be bragging about how he could take you all over the world and buy you the finest things even though you never cared about any of that.

He brought his hand up to hold yours and whispered, “You are worth so much more, love.”

“I know you’ve never really had a happy ending. Never had a stable relationship. And because the world perceives you as a monster, you think you’re not worthy of being loved but trust me Klaus, you are so incredibly wrong.” you assured him, your other hand holding his.

“Do you not see me as a good for nothing? Do you not see what my father hated so much about me?!” he questioned exasperatingly.

“You’re not useless, Klaus. You’ve done bad but you’ve done good too. In the end, you care for your loved ones and you're the one saving their asses. You’ve saved me more times than I can count!” you told him.

He remained silent before you began to beg, “Please just believe me. Does what I have to think not mean a lot?” you looked at him for an answer.

He hesitated before finally saying, “It’s difficult for me but I’ll try. I’m going to trust your words,” he said your name. You loved how it rolled off his tongue.

With that you removed your hand from his cheek and gave him a shy peck. You were unsure if a full first kiss would be fit for a moment like this so you waited to see what he would do.

Klaus being Klaus leaned in until he was inches away from your face. He admired you for a few seconds, thinking carefully about all you had said. His heart melted knowing your words had to be sincere, but he was ashamed of letting you know that.

You watched his eyes and what his intentions were, trying to read him. He pushed his lush lips against yours and it felt as if time itself had stopped to preserve this moment.

[sitp-recs]

Hi Liv! Do you or your followers have any recs for drarry fics set several years after the war, with an older Draco and Harry, but not established relationship? Thanks so much!

Hello anon! Of course, I hope you enjoy these:

Night Changes by @writcraft (E, 10k)

Draco and Harry have spent years dancing around one another, but Potter’s straight and married. Until one day he isn’t.

More Than That by joosetta (E, 11k)

This is a story about two 52 year old men who refuse to age gracefully.

The Weight of a Wanting Heart by Femme (E, 12k)

After nearly two decades hidden away in the Wiltshire countryside, Draco Malfoy’s surprised to see a familiar face come into his local.

Reading Malfoy by Femme (M, 15k)

After thirteen years of hiding himself away in Muggle London, Draco Malfoy shows up again in the wizarding world--with a wickedly amusing memoir in hand. Harry doesn't want to read it. Really. He doesn't.

Vortex by @xanthippe74 (T, 20k)

Who would want a soulmate who was a schoolyard bully, a Death Eater, and a convicted felon? Certainly not Harry Potter. And Draco is determined to take this secret to the grave.

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late.

Survival of the Species by @romaine2424 (E, 46k)

Draco approaches Harry on the 9 ¾ platform, after their sons have boarded the Hogwarts Express, and invites him over for tea. The discussion they have leads them on an adventure that neither could have expected.

(We'll Call This Fixer-Upper) Home by @phdmama (E, 52k)

Draco Malfoy hasn’t set foot on English soil in ten years. After the war, he fled to America, where he found himself in a community, and healed himself through following his heart into music.

Meet Me at Midnight by @the-starryknight (T, 57k)

Harry was beginning to wonder if he’d ever make anything again when Malfoy stormed through the door of Harry’s furniture shop. Now Harry’s got an impossible Ministry commission to finish, and even less energy than ever to deal with his elusive muse.

I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di (E, 93k)

Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he's a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels.

A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena (E, 128k)

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Potter.

When Times are Dire by @aibidil (E, 130k)

Magical Britain is screwed, and it's once again up to Harry to save it. This time, by marrying Draco Malfoy.

This Ain't the Garden of Eden by @romaine2424 (E, 131k)

In 2020, Hit Wizard Harry is starting to enjoy his life. He’s divorced, and no longer Head Auror. His biggest project these days is trying to remodel 12 Grimmauld Place for him and the kids.

By the Grace by lettered (T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

Turn by Saras_Girl (E, 306k)

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

[blchwaaaan]

Hello (with the intention to know about Dazatsu 3. _VnC_AU)!

Hey there, thanks for the ask <3 This a vampire AU inspired by the memoirs of Vanitas. I answered some about it here but I guess I can give more detail?

I have posted an excerpt from the middle of it for dazatsu week of last year here (a dangerous thing on ao3). I intended to post more, then I wrote 2 different prequels and I can't decide which one to finish :/

In the 1st version Atsushi starts off as a spy, and he follows Dazai around exclusively in his cat form (in this version he can transform into a white cat). As a cat he lounges around Dazai's house and Dazai is like well it couldn't hurt. He does not suspect that this cat is always on top of his research notes (which is what Atsushi is spying on him for). Dazai in this verse is a university teacher and I did write a scene where Atsushi, still as a cat, follows him to class and shenanigans ensue with the students and Dazai feels jealous/protective but he's like nah ofc I feel nothing. I am not attached to this cat at all (lol). A few weeks later Atsushi tells the truth, apologizes for spying and introduces himself as (not a cat) an envoy from the queen and a vampire. And Dazai is like surprised pikatchu face. Then the event of A Dangerous Thing happen about a year after. Then they have a mutual confession scene (still not sure who will spit it out first).

In the 2nd version I was like let me make it simpler? There wasn't any research or anything. Dazai was like, pretty person hmm what is an elaborate excuse to see him everyday. Then he offered Atsushi food and shelter in exchange of assisting this 'research' he came up with on the spot. The it became real research and that's when the events of A Dangerous Thing would fall. In this version Atsushi would have a tragic backstory (when does he not) which would trigger the confession scene. And this is the version I'm leaning towards because the last time I tried to build a world for a fic it spun out of control and ended up over 40k words and I. I want to write other stuff :/

anyway. The finished fics always look a whole lot different from the drafts , so idk if any of these events I just told you about will make it into the fic. I love getting these asks though, thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble <3

[wangxianficfinder]

CHARACTERS REACT FICS -

~*~

WATCHING THE SERIES -

~*~

Yearning for Miles by Murahi (M, 378k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Slow burn, Mutual Pining, seeing the future)

Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, WIP, WangXian, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, Time Travel Fix-it)

Disclosed Regrets by HuaisangsIntellect (Not Rated, 136k, WIP, WangXian, Fluff, Angst, Crack, Fix-it)

Music Heals All Forms Of Misery by idontknowwhatimdoinghalfthetime (T, 53k, WIP, WangXian, Fix-It of Sorts, Songfic, Past Character Death, Heavy Angst, Self-Esteem Issues)

Tragedy That Befall Upon Us by xoxoholic (M, 89k, WIP, WangXian, Angst, Past Major character death, JC&WWX Reconciliation, Humor, Post-canon)

Prewarning: Watching the Manhua by CassandraCastell (Not rated, 15k, WangXian, Manhua verse, Found Family, WIP)

💖 The Path by Seastar98 (Not Rated, 279k, WangXian, CQL Verse, Golden core reveal, Fix-it of sorts, Angst with a happy ending)

Mo Dao Zu Shi: The Musical by ILikeReading101 (Not Rated, 117k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-it, Song Fic, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking)

Parental Truth by ILikeReading101 (T, 62k, WIP, WangXian, Temporarily alive characters, Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Character bashing)

Every Scar has a Story to Tell by Cinder46231 (M, 121k, WIP, WangXian, Hurt/comfort, Angst with a happy ending, Implied/referenced Child abuse, Self-Harm, Self-Worth issues)

Misunderstood by Silver_Flame_2724 (M, 250k, WIP, WangXian, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Heavy Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Worth Issues)

🧡 (Un)Hidden truth by Sarah_R (M, 122k, WIP, WangXian, Suicide attempt, Time Travel, Hurt/comfort, Angst, Self-Harm)

The Characters of MDZS Watching the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by emma_screams (M, 147k, WIP, WangXian, Humor, Fluff, Angst, Drama)

hindsight by wenkexing (M, 16k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon Fix-It of sorts, Humor, Fluff, Angst)

Save us from each other by orphan_account Solbjork (Not Rated, 20k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-it, Hurt/comfort, Angst with a happy ending, Yunmeng Jiang bashing, Yu Ziyuan Bashing)

the truth untold by periwinkle520 (G, 35k, WIP, WangXian, Fluff, Crack, Attempt at humor, Post Canon)

Your Tragedy, Your Song by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (T, 37k, WangXian, Angst with a happy ending, Fix-it, Song fic, Mild body horror)

Wishes that Come True by tinitin (M, 20k, wangxian, major character death, hurt/comfort, guilt, regret, angst w/ happy ending, time travel fix-it, god & goddesses au, WIP)

Chenqing and Wangji Takes Matters Into Their Own Hands by HelloKitten (Not rated, 10k, wangxian, more of glimpsing the future than watching the whole thing)

An immortal's wrath by M0onb0w (T, 5k, wangxian, heavy angst, reunions, guilt, regret, not YZY friendly, underage drinking, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, self-harm, WIP)

Old Endings Lead to New Beginnings by 2wish_4life (M, 80k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, JC & WWX reconciliation, nightmares, hurt/comfort, fluff & angst, BAMF wangxian, established wangxian, getting together for others, WIP)

unhappy stories with happy endings by Last_for_Hell (M, 30k, wangxian, the junior quartet, watching some memories not the whole series, hurt/comfort, panic attacks, references to torture, PTSD, WIP)

💖 Teen Project to Change the World animeloverhomura (Not rated, 744k, wangxian, watching the series, fix-it of sorts, bamf!wwx, WIP)

💖 The Ballad of Hanguang-Jun and The Yiling Patriarch by Theladyofravenclaw (T, 40k, wangxian, JC/WQ, burial mounds settlement days, fix-it of sorts, musical theater au, misunderstandings, outsider pov)

Reliving Memoirs (重温回忆录) by xxwylzwangxian (Not rated, 167k, wangxian, canonical character death, canon-typical violence, hurt/comfort, drama, romance, homophobia, character development, dark past, BAMF wangxian, not friendly for a lot of characteres, WIP)

The Past and the Future Watching Together by sky34red (Not rated, 3k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, WIP)

Second Chances by Stay_4Ever_18 (Not Rated, 51k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, ChengQing, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst, Attempt at Humor)

A smile that hid the pain by Raven2398 (M, 12k, WIP, WangXian, XiCheng, HuaLian, watching the series, Characters Watching the Show, Fluff, Protective LWJ, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Abuse, YZY Bashing)

Past MDZS watch the future by Charcharnatsu (G, 6k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Watching the Show, Characters Watch/Read Canon, Characters Watching Their Series, MDZS characters watching Mo Dao Zu Shi)

Aᴍᴏʀ sɪɴ ғɪɴ (AU MDZS, Viaje en el tiempo) by ADN_98 (G, 139k, WIP, WangXian, Spanish Fic, Time Travel AU, Gran maestro de la cultivación demoníaca, characters watching their show, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer, Characters Watch/Read Canon/Fanon)

Раскрытые сожаления by Freyra (Not Rated, 33k, WIP, WangXian, Russian Fic, XuanLi, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Everyone ships wangxian, we stan fanboy wrh, Protective JYL, Fierce Corpse WN, Characters Watching Their Series, Fluff and Angst, Fix-It, Scum Villain References, Post-Canon, JC is So Done, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, I am warning you in advance everyone is ooc, Characters Watching the Show)

Lost Dimensions - MDZS Reacts by SkyDownBelow (M, 71k, WIP, WangXian, ZhuiLing, XiCheng, XuanLi, WangXian Get a Happy Ending Soft WangXian, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, JCGets a Hug, LWJ Has Feelings, Good Kid LSZ, LSZ's WangXian's Child, Characters Listening To Songs, Watching the Show, Characters React, Past and Future React, OCs are in the first five chapters, Protective LJY, LJY is a Little Shit, LJY is older, BAMF WWX, Hurt WWX, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Bad Parent YZY, JFM Has Faults, Naive XXC, Canonical Character Death - WWX, This is in the past though)

mdzs au watch the original mdzs by Charcharnatsu (Not Rated, 7k, WIP, WangXian, JFM & YZY Bashing, Bad Parents JFM and YZY, WWX Needs a Hug, Characters Watching Their Series, Characters Watch/Read Canon, MDZS characters watching Mo Dao Zu Shi, Depressed WWX)

Ridiculous viewing by Taekook9597WangXian (T, 1k, WangXian, glimpse of future, past react to future, Characters Watching the Series)

Changing the Fate by 1319nimika (T, 54k, WIP, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, QingJue, Fluff, Smut, Mutual Pining)

The Past Built Up By Lies by SnowRabbit1821 (Not Rated, 17k, WIP, WangXian, Characters Watching Their Series, MDZS Watching, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Nie HuaiSang's Diaries - When Spirits Drift in Time by IlnaHers (T, 27k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, various & relationships, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Reveal, Time Travel, only the diaries though, Characters Watching the Show, Serious WWX, Hurt WWX, Hurt JC, Hurt LWJ, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective WWX, Hurt NHS, Protective NHS, Character Death Reveal, Progressive Reveal, Melancholy, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Angst, Twin Jades of Lán Feels, Sad, Shock, WIP)

Wangxian: Oracle pearl by Abby18699 (G, 183k, WIP, Wang Xian, ChengQing, NieLan, XuanLi, Sunshot Campaign, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Future, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Güsü Lán Juniors Dynamics, JC Needs a Hug, Characters React to Fandom, Canon Divergence, Post-Canon, Pining LWJ, Soft LWJ, LWJ Needs a Hug, Inventor WWX, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Oblivious WWX, Characters watching future, Implied Mpreg)

~*~

READING THE NOVEL -

~*~

🧡 Reading Mo Dao Zu Shi by Athane (M, 125k, WIP, WangXian, Post Canon, Spoilers for Novel, Angst, Fluff, Canon relationships)

A Glimpse Of Our Next Life by TimeToRead112 (Not Rated, 5k, WangXian, Time travel, Implied sexual content, Dimensional travel, Light angst, Mutual pining)

🧡 Switched by shorimochi (Not Rated, 95k, YiZhan, WangXian, WWX & XZ Body swap, Dimensional travel, Humor, Light angst, Misunderstandings) (WWX reads the novel after getting switched with XZ and reacts differently to things when switched back)

What Your Heart Desires by pupeez4eva (M, 7k, WangXian, Humor, Crack, WWX is reborn in the modern world after his first death, where the MDZS novel exists, WWX becoming VERY well acquainted with the whole novel)

Redesign by yllzdefender (T, 5k, WIP, WangXian, WWX in WWX's Body, Jiāng Family Bashing, JC Needs a Hug, YZY Bashing, JFM Bashing, LQR Metaphorically Qì-Deviates, Established WangXian, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX, Protective WQ, Protective WN, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Compliant, Good Uncle LQR, Original Character(s), genderfluid WWX, not Jiang friendly)

Rediscovery by getwow21 (Not Rated, 7k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, BAMF WWX, BAMF WQ, WWX is a Wen, WWX in WWX's Body, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Modern WWX, POV WWX, Protective WQ, WWX & WQ Friendship, Good Sibling WQ, Protective WN, Madam Lan Lives, Wen Remnants Live, Madam Lan Leaves Cloud Recesses, Dimension Travel, No Golden Core Transfer)

[ofliterarynature]

JUNE 2023 WRAP UP

loved liked okay no thanks (reread) bookclub*

An Unsuitable Heir | The Winter of the Witch | An Unnatural Vice | Bloom* | An Unseen Attraction | Masters in this Hall | (The Mislaid Magician) | Gilded Cage | The Age of Innocence | (The Grand Tour) | Any Old Diamonds | The Rat-Catcher’s Daughter | (Sorcery & Cecelia) | (The Goblin Emperor) | A Gentleman’s Position | The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street | Dust and Shadow | A Seditious Affair | A Fashionable Indulgence | Subtle Blood | Proper English | Range

Let’s just say I was feeling a bit unhinged this month…

I don't know what was up with my brain this month (it was stress, probably. ugh.), but it was comfort-reads-only central. Which spun out of control a little with the KJ Charles, but we'll get to that.

Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World started things off with a great non-fic pick. It spoke so deeply to me that it made me very angry at the world while also being very comforting. Would highly recommend.

Dust and Shadow is Sherlock Holmes solves Jack the Ripper, but hewing much closer to canon than say, that other one I fell in love with last year (The Angel of the Crows). I couldn't help comparing the two, and while it was interesting seeing each author's interpretations of the Ripper case, this one did not come out on top for me.

The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street is a sort-of sequel memoir to the author's collection of letters published as 84 Charing Cross Road that I read last month and loved. A little different but still a delight, and I've got another one of her related memoirs waiting for me on my desk right now.

The Goblin Emperor... what can I say, my brain needed comfort, I caught up on the AO3 tag, and thought why not. It was amazing to go back and see all the little bits of Maia I'd forgotten.

Sorcery & Cecelia I picked up partially as a consequence of my KJ Charles/historical romance rampage that fully put me off of the other audiobooks I already had checked out. I've been meaning to reread them for a while (it's probably been a decade) because I wanted to explore my mixed memories of the two sequels. And I don't blame younger me! The original book is a delight sort of in the vein of Diana Wynne Jones and The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, with adventures and almost a comedy of manners element to it. The much later sequels lose a lot of the whimsy and brightness, are much more serious and adult, and are much more explicitly mystery novels. Now I love a mystery novel, and I think if you distance them from the original book they're not too bad! The Grand Tour is the worst, I think, both because of the unexpected shift in style and because I don't think the epistolary format they chose works well (I really would have loved to see some letters they wrote to other people, imo, rather than diary entries). The Mislaid Magician brings things back around much closer to the original novel's format both literally and narratively, if not in style, and I liked it a great deal.

This next one goes out to Lauren, who will probably never read this but - I finally read The Age of Innocence! Not the copy you gave me, but I did it. It wasn't quite to my taste, but it absolutely fits with what I know of your other favorite things. Sorry this was like 8 years too late.

Bloom I've had on my shelf for years and it's totally my doing that we read it for book club - it was a nice read, I love the art style, but ultimately it was a bit forgettable. Maybe if it'd focused on resolving the non-romantic conflicts as well, idk.

It took me MUCH longer to get to Winter of the Witch than I had planned, but I did! It felt a little clunky trying to get all the ends tied up, but overall I liked it, I was very glad to get away from the politics of the second book. This was such a well written series, I definitely recommend it, but it also made me feel angry and anxious enough while reading it that I can't see myself ever revisting it. (I'll definitely keep an eye out for more of the author's work though).

AND NOW FOR THE KJ CHARLES!!!

I started off the month finishing up the Will Darling/English books, which, do not follow my example, you should absolutely read in chronological order (and pay attention to character names!). These were not books I fell immediately in love with, but exposure and persistence, not to mention some great side characters, won me over. I also cannot BELIEVE that KJ waited until the very very end to introduce the "proteges" concept, and it's the best thing I've ever heard I am emotionally devastated (and cackling, lmao).

I've mentioned elsewhere my accidental discovery (too late) that the next 3 series were related, but I did manage at least to start with the correct one. Society of Gentlemen was...okay. The first one might actually be the worst KJ Charles I've read so far, but the other two were definitely better, if not exactly to my taste. I like the mystery/action/adventure plots more, I suppose, rather than...politics? I think? and respectability is boring anyways.

I managed to accidentally skip over Sins of the Cities directly into the Lilywhite Boys, which is a pity, because they're much more closely related to each other than Society (which honestly you don't need to read beforehand). Even without the more detailed background from Sins, I LOVED the Lilywhite novels and novellas. Thieves and shady characters who are extremely competent, excellent lovers, a little violent, and with their own moral codes are catnip for me, I could not have resisted.

I then went back to Sins of the Cities, which were also good! The leads in the first book were sweet but a little bland, the love/hate thing going on the second book was fantastic, and I loved that the third book had a genderqueer/nb lead. I appreciated getting all the background to events hinted at in the Lilywhite books, but I also admit I spent less time focused on the murders and more on "ok but HOW does X become the Earl???????" I had so many theories lol, none of them right. I just wonder if these would have hit a little harder if I'd read them first.

As I write this in July, I'm still working my way through the rest of KJ's catalogue but I think the worst of my brain fever is over, and I'm hoping to soon have the mental capacity to read the new Victoria Goddard I've been ignoring for a couple of months. Wish me luck, and happy reading!

[mademoiselle-red]

Exceeding Expectations (a TC mini-fic)

“Exit a quiet tidy patient […] enter, somewhere else, a young man with a lame leg and an unanswered question. Vital statistics have this new character something like fifty years’ expectation of life.” —The Charioteer, chapter 3

“How’s the fact checking coming along?” Laurie asked over their breakfast spread. It was Tuesday. Not that Tuesdays meant anything in particular to them nowadays seeing as they were long retired. Ralph had grown restless a few months into his retirement and had begun working on a memoir about his days in the navy. There had been a flurry of Second World War memoirs published over the last few years around the 50th anniversary of VE Day.

“It’s tedious work, but the archivist I wrote to last week has been rather helpful. Oh, you’d like this: according to vital statistics, Dunkirk veterans who’d recovered from injuries resulting in permanent disability have on average 50 years’ expectation of life since time of operation. I always knew you’d exceed expectations, Spud.”

“It’s nice to know we’re both beating the herd by 5 years.” Laurie smiled into his toast, an amused grin which morphed into a wistful look as he remembered. “Reg Barker passed in ‘93. And now I’m the last man standing from Ward B. I guess I have Miss Halliburton to thank. If she hadn’t found the problem with my boot…”

Ralph slid a hand over the table and laid it over Laurie’s.

“And I owe you and Alec a thank you, and an apology too,” Laurie continued. “The daily physical therapy regime in Bridstow General helped quite a bit. I’ve met a few men with injuries similar to mine at various reunions over the years, and some of them have far less mobility than I do. But it’s not just the doctors. Their wives don’t know how to massage their legs properly. Some of them couldn’t find a girl willing to have them and ended up alone after the war. I’ve been lucky.” He smiled at Ralph.

“Spuddy!” Ralph leaned across the table and pressed a quick kiss to Laurie’s lips, licking over a spot of strawberry cream as he withdrew back into his own seat. “I attribute my longevity to your lemon tea, you know. Look at me, 40 years sober.”

Throughout the first decade of their relationship, Ralph’s had made multiple attempts to quit drinking, and Laurie had supported him through each withdrawal by brewing him honey lemon tea, which had a soothing effect on Ralph during the worst bouts of withdrawal. After a few failures, the last attempt stuck, and Ralph had not touched a drop of alcohol since.

“Darling.” Laurie now remembered those difficult years with a fond glow of nostalgia.

He raised his teacup as if it were a wine glass. “To our continued good health.”

Ralph raised his coffee mug. “To longevity and good health.”

[bettsfic]

craft essay a day #11

took a couple days off because i got a plot bunny for a fic that turned into a short story that turned into a novella that turned into a novel but might still be a novella depending on whether i want the main character to commit a murder or if i just want everyone to have a good time.

"The Sword of Damocles: On Suspense, Shower Murders, and Shooting People on the Beach" by Anthony Doerr, The Writer's Notebook II: Craft Essays from Tin House

beginner | intermediate | advanced | masterclass 

filed under: plot & conflict, structure, pacing, process

summary & my thoughts

in 2017 i was at tin house and i went to Anthony Doerr's lecture on simile. i use the word "lecture" loosely; it was closer to a performance. the guy's got great energy. i was so inspired by his lecture that i skipped the next one and returned to my room to start writing a new story, one that would go on to get published, win an award, and become my writing sample for the next four years, including my PhD application. i think that story was so successful in part because i wrote it only as a way to practice what Doerr had taught me about the work of similes. in fact in put so many similes into this story that when i workshopped it later, my professor wrote a little note in the margin that said, "not everything has to be like something else."

i wrote the thing to practice similes, and i ended up taking all the similes out. so it goes.

later, i attended Doerr's reading. having an audio processing issue, i'm really not a fan of readings. i would be able to listen if i could just look down at my phone, but that's rude so i end up only really getting disparate sounds and the occasional fleeting mental image. so i sit there in the back, bored and wishing i could process sound without requiring a second sensory stimulus.

with Doerr, a miracle happened: somehow, there was something about his sentences and paragraphing that made me able to understand what he was saying. for a brief, shining moment i understood the cultural obsession with podcasts. he was reading an excerpt from a short story, and i was hooked. and then it ended on a cliffhanger. so, being in the back, i left right before the end of the event and bought his book, hoping that when i asked him to sign it, he would tell me where i could find the story.

i was first in line. i gave him the book to sign and asked about the story. he said sorry, it wasn't published and probably wouldn't be. devastating. as he was signing my book, he looked at my badge which had my name and listed my genre as creative nonfiction. he asked what project i was working on. i was somewhat taken aback by this (because his line was now a mile long and also why would he care?), and told him the truth: "i'm writing a memoir on fanfiction."

over the years, i've been pretty open with just about everyone regarding how cool i think fanfic is and that i write it. it's not something i'm ashamed of and i'm generally not afraid of being judged, because it's an awesome and wonderful thing that exists in the world, and anyone who thinks otherwise has no idea what they're talking about and probably isn't someone i care to know. i've talked to dozens of authors, editors, and agents about fanfic and for the most part receive mild and polite curiosity as they attempt to align what i'm telling them with what they know of publishing. ultimately i'm sure they dismiss it, but for a beautiful couple minutes, i introduce them to something new.

(not a single person i've ever spoken with has known anything about fanfic. to us it seems so huge, but in literary circles, some people haven't even heard the word fanfiction.)

Anthony Doerr's eyes went wide. he gasped. he glanced around as if having a grand epiphany and said, "everything is fanfiction, isn't it? everything is inspired by something else."

"yes!" i said excitedly, appreciating that he and i are both excessively, possibly offputtingly, enthusiastic people. he signed my book, For Beth! A fellow writer. Your fan, Tony.

unfortunately his line was getting even longer (that's what happens when your book wins a Pulitzer i guess) and we had to cut our conversation short. a week later when i got home, i cracked open his book (all the light we cannot see) at, i don't know, 8pm maybe, and didn't go to bed until 5am when i finally finished it.

which is all to say, what Anthony Doerr says about writing, i listen to.

his essays are a lot like Mary Ruefle's in that he kind of talks about and around a general topic, and as such, this essay is a bit hard to summarize. in the vein of Wayne Booth he also leans heavily on dissecting block quote examples, and so this is a very long essay.

he begins with a disclaimer: "i'm an absolutely terrible writer of suspense. i use up most of my sentences describing trees or snow or light." i actually lol'd at this because i use his short story "The Hunter's Wife" in my lesson plan on developing imagery, and specifically refer to his detailed descriptions of trees, snow, and light.

he introduces the idea of "suspended suspense," or the moment of the story at its apex and relishing in the length of time it hovers there.

"I'm more interested in measured, proportionally handled suspense; the kind of suspense that makes you simultaneously want to skip forward a few paragraphs and to find out what will happen and dwell for as long as possible inside the slow blister of rising action."

he goes on to pull my favorite move of any craft essay: elaborating on the etymology of the term he's discussing, in this case "suspense," which comes from the latin "pendere" which means "to hang."

he talks about the idea of a plot being the thing in a story that is always ticking down to zero, and then compares storytelling and the concept of an obstacle to sports games and the reason people watch them.

"One way to look at games, tournaments, and seasons is that they are essentially highly formalized structures designed to produce obstacles. Why? Because obstacles are delay, and delay produces compelling narration."

Doerr believes that the draw of suspense is the ability to create a kind of anxiety outside of reality where one can feel emotions within the safe bubble of narrative structure. the story, after all, must always end, but life continues on.

he elaborates on two ideas in relation to suspension: interruption and diminishing returns. he cites a study which declares that humans crave interruptions in anything lasting. taking a break at work, for example, or an intermission at a play.

"Maybe interruptions—slowing down scenes just at their most pleasurable—are a way of making the sensations of vicarious anxiety and longing feel acute to us for as long as possible."

of the law of diminishing returns, he says that humans "crave newness" and that part of the allure of a break is to make new something pleasurable and familiar. for example, savoring chocolate by eating it slowly.

"...a huge percentage of writing your most climactic, emotional scenes is about learning to go very slowly. One has to learn to trawl the attention through the texture of the dream."

while all of this is great in theory, it doesn't really address the practicality of writing the damn thing. my favorite rule of thumb is "when the action is hot, write cool," an adage from Debra Gwartney that is certainly prescriptive but something i always keep in mind regardless. action hot, write cool is more or less what Doerr is saying. he's saying, slow down and take your time, while Gwartney is saying, the way to do that is to create narrative distance. my go-to example is the climax of the personal essay "The Fourth State of Matter" by JoAnn Beard, in which we become so distant from JoAnn's point of view we reach into the point of view of someone else.

climaxes are my least favorite thing to write. once i reach them, i skip all the way to the end of the story and write backwards, until the only thing left to write is the climax. i can't say whether or not this is effective advice, because i simply can't do it any other way. if there's a better way, i don't know it.

but i do have something you can try when you finally have to buckle down and get it done:

climaxes are generally the most emotional and visual part of a story. it's where the internal conflict meets up with the external conflict, and therefore you're dealing with both interior narration and sensation, and external movement of bodies in space. you should not expect yourself to handle all of these things at once. you only have one brain, and these sorts of scenes take two brains, maybe even three (how can you expect yourself to be inside your character's perspective while also standing outside of it to direct the action?), and so sometimes you have to layer them.

for your first pass on the climax: work on blocking only. all you're doing is rendering bodies in space. who are the characters in this scene, where are they in relation to each other, and what are they saying. how do they get from A to B interpersonally and/or physically? let's say your characters are finally having their first kiss. you have two bodies that have to go from not touching each other to touching each other. you potentially have some discussion between them. don't worry about dragging it out at this point per Doerr's recommendation. just get mouth A against mouth B. this is more or less only a light pencil sketch of the scene.

second pass: you've focused on the movement, now you go in and add the static details involving the sensation of the kiss and any other external detail your character is attending to, like an airplane flying overhead. most writers like to elaborate on what a person tastes like, which personally i think is weird and unnecessary because i as a reader don't really need to know what someone had for lunch, but whatever. you do you.

third pass: interiority only. my favorite way to pace out a climax is to allow your narrator access to time. allow them to think into the past, into something we don't know yet, or have them realize something, or whatever. let them think. you're controlling the mind of your narrator; use that to your advantage.

if you need to, make a pattern of it: blocking sentence, external sentence, internal sentence. movement, feeling, thought. of course, you're going to revise the shit out of this whole scene later hopefully and so you'll be able to move things around and rewrite as necessary. but in terms of just getting the whole thing onto the page, i find this layering technique pretty useful.

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