#fic: woodsmoke

[sprout-fics]

Woodsmoke (Joel Miller x F! Reader x Joe 'Bear' Graves)

Chapter Two: Smoke

Masterlist

Rating: Mature (Rating will change) Word Count: 7k Warnings: Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault (Non-explicit) Tags: Character Study, Angst (Literally so much angst), AU- Canon divergence, Sheep Farmer Joel Miller, Patrolman Joe 'Bear' Graves, Domesticity, PTSD, Night Terror, Cuddling by a campfire, Touch starvation, Unrequited pining, Complicated emotional relationships Also it's been literally four months since I posted the first chapter Jesus fuck I'm so sorry ahahahaha

Summary:

Bear, by contrast, is a the bright, licking heat of a campfire. The gentle glow of him in the distance brings you closer, beckons your cold hands into the warmth of him. You bask in the entrancing flicker of him, watch with glinting eyes the dance of the flames, unable to look away. It tugs something in your chest that wants more but knows that if you reach your hands into the flare that you might somehow breathe in the flames, allow him to burn the hollow of your ribs to make space there just for him.

It takes time for you to notice, but you see the way Bear holds himself in his frustration, in the vague mentions of before that you hear Caulder and the others murmur about in hushed tones. There's something in Bear that has been broken long ago, and the pain of it threatens to bubble to the surface, snap like the sudden crack of a log that sends sparks scattering up into the nighttime sky. It's a dangerous, searing thing that he refuses to show to you no matter how much it consumes him. A ferocious, burning brightness that sets himself ablaze to keep others warm, even if it means turning to cinders as a result.

Instead, he sets his gaze upon you. You see embers dance in the darkness of his pupils, a hypnotizing temptation that you want to touch even though it might singe the edges of your soul. The presence of him threatens to burn your world to ashes, if only so he can lift you from the carnage and into his hands, cradle you there until you surrender to him.

It takes weeks for you to approach these strange new men in the place you call home.

Joel offers them the house on the hill, on the other side of the valley. You watch from the kitchen as he invites the men inside the house, keeps them corralled to the living room and away from you, sheltering in the kitchen. Your hands, damp with soap and water, tremble from the presence of strangers, of armed men, of the threat of danger-

Yet Joel's voice wafts from the doorway. Low, even, like the slow, murmuring crackle of a fire against your too cold palms. The warmth draws away the chill of your memories, the ones where silhouettes in the dark reach for you with grasping hands. You focus instead on the sound of his voice, feel your shoulders shift and sink, reminding yourself that even in the presence of these strangers, Joel will keep you safe. He always will.

Eventually you peek from the archway as the conversation continues, carefully observe the men who Joel has entrusted to keep the farm safe.

There's four of them. Two sit with their backs to you, one of them with his back turned towards you, his dark skin cast in warmer hues by the fireplace beside him. To his left is his thinner, wiry comrade. You saw him look at you from his horse, face calm but eyes sharp. Ready as you stood trembling with the shotgun in your hands. He seems to hear you behind him, casting a brief gaze over his shoulder as if checking behind him before he faces forward again. The motion draws the attention of his friend, who makes a larger effort to glance at you, offering a kind smile that you briefly return.

Across from the two of them, Chase and Fish, you later learn their names are, is a man who appears so much younger than he truly is. He looks almost boyish despite the flecks of grey beginning in his curly, dusty blonde hair. Caulder, you're told later, doesn't glance at you, instead focused unwaveringly on Joel, who speaks in low, serious tones with the man seated beside him.

Bear.

Bear sits with his arms crossed, feet planted and legs spread. Whereas Joel bends forward, his elbows on his knees in contemplation, Bear looks alert, observant, ready for motion at the drop of a hat as he leans back, arms crossed. He regards Joel silently as he speaks, listens respectfully with little nods and noises of affirmation. When he does speak, his voice is a low, dragging mumble that has you sometimes struggle to make out the words. Yet there's a steadiness to his tone, an unflinching resolution that's reassuring in the face of the danger posed to you all.

It's only when Joel looks away for a brief moment towards one of the other men that Bear looks up at you from under thick eyebrows, the lines near his eyes wrinkling in a gentle, entreating smile.

You feel your heart thump in your chest a little louder, trying to decipher apprehension from the vague stir of interest at the kindness that glints against blue eyes.

Eventually the men stand, and Bear clasps his hand against Joel's in some sort of agreement you can't make out. They shuffle outside, and you hover at the door of the kitchen, a touch nervous, as they each give you a small nod or 'ma'am' as they pass. Bear brings up the rear, once more pauses, draws your eyes up to his taller form.

"You let us know if you need anything, yeah?" He offers, voice a low, soothing murmur that feels all too much like autumn wind through the shade of the forest.

You only nod at him, once more feel that strange stirring in your chest, one that almost wants to reach out, ask more of him that you know how to.

He leaves, and you watch from the window of the front door as the four of them set about tending to their horses, leading them up the hill and towards the barn nestled next to the pastures.

Joel stands with his hand on the frame of the door until they've left the perimeter of the house before turning to you. You blink at the wrinkle of his brow, the thin, taut line of his lips that you know to be displeasure.

"You don't have to talk to those boys if you don't want to, understand?" He tells you, and you watch his scarred hand curl on the wooden plane of the door. "If they make problems, you let me know."

You nod at that, still a little unsettled by Joel's tone, the way he seems to both trust and distrust these men he's summoned. Yet when you listen to the echo of his words in your thoughts, you realize there's something there you almost missed. Something that almost sounds possessive.

Yet then you watch Joel's shoulder sink all of a fraction, his fist drop from the door as he carefully closes the distance between you. His hand is warm when it lands on your shoulder, familiar and welcome. Even though he doesn't speak, there's words conveyed there that you understand in the absence of his voice.

We'll be okay. I've got you. I trust you.

Please trust me too.

----

You avoid them.

Bear bypasses Joel’s offer of the desolate house atop the other side of the valley, says it’s better to be close to the barn. They set up camp in the hayloft, the four of them crammed together in such a way that there's scantly any space between them. It helps, you think. The nights get frigid in the shadow of the valley, and more than one night you think about how they might be cold, might be sore from the wooden planks under their backs. It's not comfortable by any means, the barn is drafty and musky with the scent of the horses and manure. Yet you don't hear a single word of complaint from them in the mornings from the group aside from a grumble or a grunting stretch. There's a hardiness, a drive and resolve to them that you both recognize and are unfamiliar with.

They're different from the FEDRA soldiers. They're humble, respectful, and don’t use their positions as armed guards to sway you or intimidate you. Yet there's some recollection in your memory of the way they shove playfully at each other, the appreciation they have for their weapons, the way they snap to attention when given instructions. The glint of focus, of something dangerous and intense in their gazes has you maintain a berth when you can, heart murmuring in caution at the unknowable things in their eyes.

You wonder who they all were before this.

You try not to think about it too much.

Joel puts them to work soon after they arrive, and you're surprised by the shortlist of tasks he gives them, as if he's been waiting for the extra help. There's repairs made to the roof, fences mended in the disused pasture, the well is dug deeper, and you soon find even your chores being assisted with. The men grumble at first about the labor, but a firm word from Bear has them shrug, set about aiding where they can. It's a welcome help, and you can't deny the relief at having some more time to yourself as a result.

If Joel sees you drape extra blankets on the ladder to the hayloft, he doesn't say anything.

You pass your new guests throughout the day, still trying to make yourself scarce where you can. They're rowdy with each other, words sometimes a little too biting and caustic for comfort. More than once you come into the barn to see them boyishly tugging at each other, only to freeze when they spot you. You wonder if maybe you make them uncomfortable with your skittishness around them.

When they do approach you, however, it's always with good intentions, offers of assistance in the task you've set out with. You see Bear always watching them from the corner of his eye as they near you, ready to step in at the moment you shy away. It happens more than once, at least in the beginning, and it's Bear's firm hand on the shoulder of one of his men that alerts them, tugs them away from your nervous, shifting stance.

Always, there's an apology on his lips, a careful offering that has you meet his gaze once more.

You think the blue of his eyes looks like a gentle summer rainstorm.

The men take shifts once darkness begins to fall. There's a smaller camp set up at the top of the valley, in the vein that runs between the hills. It's simple. A tent, a campfire, and a loaded gun to fire into the darkness of the valley below in case of an attack. You look to the orange haze of the fire at night, high up on the rise. You stand, watching it sometimes from the porch, a shawl wrapped around your shoulders, praying the fire doesn't go out, that raiders don't descend into this place you've come to call home.

Joel sits outside with you some nights, doing much the same, as if he himself doesn't entirely trust the soldiers he's hired to properly warn you all of danger. Yet when the hour grows late he suggests, in that gruff and stubborn way of his, that you go inside and sleep.

You do and try not to think of the memory of a bonfire licking at the stars and the screams of others in the freeze of a winter forest. The phantom sound of the shotgun haunts your dreams, waiting for the moment it will crack like the sound of thunder and rain chaos down on you all.

When morning comes, it's quiet once more.

It's on one of those quiet mornings that you run into Bear.

The forest path is soddened from the drizzle of the night before, the world still muted and grey as the last of the rain moves through the mountains. Sunlight weaves its way through the canopy of trees and overcast clouds, dappling bright for mere moments before it's shielded once more. You walk under it, further into the woods where Joel's animal traps lay, where kindling lays against the bases of trees, knocked loose by the storm. You gather the damp branches idly, gingerly checking the snares that yield little success in the over-picked glade.

It's the small bit of pale color in the corner of your vision that makes you pause, turn to examine the strange flora that sprouts from the remains of a rotted log. Mushrooms, the kind untouched by the apocalypse, reclusive and now rare. Their small, ridged, white caps poke from the deciduous ground, and as you gently pad over, kneel with your legs in the soft, damp earth to examine them, you can't help but wonder if they're edible.

You reach for them, dirt smeared fingers outstretched, eyes enraptured by the silent, strange symbolism of them.

The snap of a branch behind you.

You gasp, twist so violently you fall on your bottom, kindling spilling and fingers fumbling for the knife at your waist to whatever predator has stalked you through these woods. You draw it up with a trembling grasp, holding the blade outwards even as your arms try to draw into yourself as a shield from danger.

You expect a wolf, or perhaps a mountain lion or lynx. Yet standing before you is none of those things. Instead, it's a man, standing at a distance, his hands held up in a gentle entreaty, brow furrowed in concern. His looming stature towers over your fallen form, eyes gentle as he realizes he's startled you.

It occurs to you then, in gazing into his blue-eyed stare, that you know this man.

"Bear." You breathe at last, muscles loosening. Yet even then you don't tuck away the blade entirely, lowering it enough for Bear to ease his stance, wet his lips before he speaks.

"I- uhm, didn't mean to startle you." He offers, and still does not yet lower his hands from either side of his head in surrender, keeping them well away from the rifle slung over his shoulder. "I was doing a patrol, thought maybe you heard me coming."

You blink, and his soft, rumbling voice manages to slow your stammering heartbeat. The cool, damp earth presses into your lower back, with you braced against the rotten log like it can somehow provide you shelter.

When you don't speak, Bear's eyes flicker to the mushrooms you were so close to touching, and there's a flicker of amused disbelief that tugs the corner of his mouth, makes a single eyebrow raise.

"...Sure you want to eat those?" He tries to joke, and the humor should relax you but it doesn't. Instead, with Bear's massive form standing over you a distance away, your mind summons memories of a dark figure backlit by a roaring campfire, the glint of a blade held in his hand. He steps towards you in your memories, even as you scramble backwards in the snow, feet kicking uselessly as he advances on you-

"You alright?"

Bear's voice breaks the memory, and your eyes flicker up to his once more, seeing the confusion and concern etched across his gaze.

You try to speak, you do, but instead your mouth opens and closes uselessly, hands shaking as you try to erase the hands that reach for you, haul a knife far above your fallen form-

Bear must see the panic written across your gaze- something foreign to him that chokes the moist air from your chest and threatens to send you drowning in your own thoughts, into a memory which has no end.

"Hey." He offers quietly, and as you try to control the mounting gasp of panic inside you Bear gentles himself, remains steadfast, softening at the edges under your eyes. "Hey, look at me."

You watch as he sinks lower, keeping his eyes on yours all the while to see any fear his movements spawn in you. Yet you watch as Bear goes down to one knee, makes himself smaller, less intimidating. He's still not quite at your height, but it's fairly close, and he no longer stands above you, dwarfing you with his size.

Whatever he sees in your gaze, it must be enough for him to understand, because his shoulders ease, and he exhales a soft sigh through his nose. The beard partially covers the tight, concerned draw of his mouth as he regards you like an injured animal, fearful and in need of aid.

"It's alright" He offers in a rumble that reminds you of the clearing rainstorm above, dampening the soft earth under your form. "I'm not going to hurt you."

It's the tone of his voice, more so than his words, that allows the tremble in your hands to abate, lets your grasp fall to your lap as it holds the blade Joel gifted to you.

"I didn't mean to scare you." He tells you again, and there's something akin to regret in his eyes. It's enough to make you blink, to make the memory of a silhouette gently wash away from your thoughts.

The air in your chest loosens, and you swallow, remember how to breath. When Bear watches you force yourself to exhale, long and slow, there's a smile that crinkles the corner of his eyes.

He doesn't coo over you, doesn't offer praise or patronize you the way so many others have before in response to your terror. Instead he remains where he is, the offer from him silent but transcending words.

Come to me when you're ready. I'll wait.

As the rainstorm at last lifts from the heavens, you see Bear in a new, radiant light.

---

It's a gradual process, the closing of the distance between you and Bear.

It's caught in the moments in between, the morning greetings that slowly turn into conversations, the offerings of favors that are returned in kind. You leave breakfast for the boys in a basket on the steps to the hayloft- bread, boiled eggs, some milk, a tin of coffee and cups to match. It's simple fare, and you at the beginning leave it and then dart away before they can thank you. Yet soon you find Bear awaiting you when you arrive just after dawn, sitting on the ladder and a weary but pleased smile on his lips. The soft 'Thank you's turn into exchanges about chores, about the day ahead, and soon transform into other things entirely.

You find yourself liking his company. Bear has a gravity to him that feels like the pull of a riptide at your feet, dragging you further into the sound of his voice. Yet it doesn't push you under, doesn't force waves crashing above your head. Instead, you simply float in the goodness of him, and often wonder about the things that lurk beneath.

You see it sometimes in the way he talks with his men, the steeliness of his eyes that changes into flinty resolve at the mere mention of danger. Unblinking, acute, nearly cataclysmic. It startles you the first few times you see it, when there's a noise that's too loud in the distance, the sound of an animal crying out in surprise or pain. Whereas you are jumpy, nervous at the same things, Bear spins, muscles coiled and tense, ready at any moment to attack, defend, conquer.

Once, while you two linger outside the barn one morning, you hear Caulder shout as he descends down the hill. You don't even have time to process it before Bear has one arm pushing you behind him, against the wall of the barn, the words he was rumbling a mere heartbeat ago now dead in his throat. There's a hand on his pistol, and when you grasp his arm in surprise he seems not to notice you, eyes glinting but dark in their intensity. You don't see him breathe until his gaze lands on Caulder, who rights himself from a short tumble down the steep slope with a curse and a kick at a stray rock.

You wonder about the things Bear has seen, the things he's done to warrant that look in his eyes. Ready to sear the world to ashes at a moment's notice, drown himself in the smoke that spills from his open, scarred palms.

You sometimes wonder if it will burn you too if you get too close.

Bear is gentle with you, that much is obvious. There's an interest there, as if he's found a beautiful, wild creature in the woods, is trying not to scare you off. He allows you to come to him, lets himself be open and ready to see you take a step forward. It's familiar to you, somehow, reminds you in some ways of a pair of almost sorrowful brown eyes that feel like cinders flickering against your gaze.

Yet the more time you begin to spend around Bear, the more Joel becomes quieter, withdrawn. There's an odd pinch to his face you catch sometimes when you mention Bear, a tight draw of his lips that speaks of emotions he'll never say out loud. It's hard to tell if he's just concerned for you, if he doesn't entirely trust Bear, or if there's still secrets inside him he refuses to show you. Sometimes he turns from you after you've disagreed with him on something, and you catch only a glimpse of the hurt lurking under his gaze.

You want to draw him back to you, want the familiar feeling of the two of you in mutual, comfortable silence as the fire burns in the hearth come evening. Yet when you dare to reveal the barest sliver of your heart, your worries and doubts to Joel, his voice instead meets you with that gruff, distant tone that hides the true confines of his barely mended heart. He's too afraid to let you get closer, too scared of being broken again, even if he refuses to tell you the thing that did it in the first place.

Joel is your shelter, you think. He's the canopy of the forest that shields you from the driving rain, the trees that offer a solemn, needed silence from the chaos of your thoughts. You walk alongside him, feel the shifting silence of him like the rustle of branches. The calm, protective respite of him allows you a grace you desperately need, a place to nestle the hurt fringes of your soul. Yet the deep loom of shadows that lurk in the woods feels so much like the hidden words that you can see scarcely concealed in his gaze.

There's mysteries left in him you'll never understand.

Bear, by contrast, is a the bright, licking heat of a campfire. The gentle glow of him in the distance brings you closer, beckons your cold hands into the warmth of him. You bask in the entrancing flicker of him, watch with glinting eyes the dance of the flames, unable to look away. It tugs something in your chest that wants more but knows that if you reach your hands into the flare that you might somehow breathe in the flames, allow him to burn the hollow of your ribs to make space there just for him.

It takes time for you to notice, but you see the way Bear holds himself in his frustration, in the vague mentions of before that you hear Caulder and the others murmur about in hushed tones. There's something in Bear that has been broken long ago, and the pain of it threatens to bubble to the surface, snap like the sudden crack of a log that sends sparks scattering up into the nighttime sky. It's a dangerous, searing thing that he refuses to show to you no matter how much it consumes him. A ferocious, burning brightness that sets himself ablaze to keep others warm, even if it means turning to cinders as a result.

Instead, he sets his gaze upon you. You see embers dance in the darkness of his pupils, a hypnotizing temptation that you want to touch even though it might singe the edges of your soul. The presence of him threatens to burn your world to ashes, if only so he can lift you from the carnage and into his hands, cradle you there until you surrender to him.

You find yourself drawn to it anyways. You feel the frost and cold embrace of your dreams chased away by the too-bright flicker of his warmth. While Joel keeps you safe, shelters you, it's Bear who melts the remnants of frostbite from your weary spirit, opens you up into the warmth of sunlight.

There's a night where you awake in darkness, feel the dreaded whisper of snow and an icy grave lick at the tumult of your thoughts, and find yourself rising from your bed. You stand on the porch, staring at the campfire on the rise, and in some strange semblance of gravity find yourself pulled there. The cold wind licks at your skin as you huddle your jacket and shawl around you, boots digging into the damp earth as you climb. You're not sure how you know Bear is there keeping watch, but when you appear at the perimeter of the fire he doesn't seem surprised to see you either.

You perch a way away from him, sitting on a log and feeling the flames dance in your gaze. Bear is quiet but alert, watching you from the periphery of his eyes even as he scans the wilderness for signs of approaching danger. Ever the watchman, the guardian, the pyre.

"I had a nightmare." You whisper, and for a moment you think your voice has been swallowed by the wind. It's childish, you think. Like a little girl huddling in the darkness jumping at shadows. When you look up, Bear is gazing at you unblinkingly, his eyes a little mournful, the flames glinting against his eyes.

"Tell me." He offers quietly, and you feel like his ribs crack open so he can hold you that much closer to his chest.

Your heart clenches.

He's different, you realize. Joel will shake you from your nightmares, will allow you the safety to regain yourself, but he won't open himself to you. If you try to spill your fears to him he'll tell you only a 'It's fine. You're safe' and refuse to let the bitterness linger. Yet here is Bear, asking, opening his palms so you can drop yourself and your aching fright into his warm gaze.

So, you do. You tell Bear all the things you've never spoken of to Joel. You share the story carved into your heart. You tell him about escaping the Seattle QZ, fleeing from the infighting caused by rebels along with a group of others. You tell him about entrusting yourself to a pair of older smugglers along with several others and running into the wilderness in search of a settlement. You tell him about the long harsh nights sleeping in abandoned houses, of eating meager rations not knowing where your next meal would come from.

You don't tell him about how the smugglers demanded payment.

The chill of your fingers is warmed as you press them to your chest to quell the ache there, grimacing at the pain of remembering. Yet you feel unable to stop, a drain unplugged and letting your sorrows circle downwards bit by bit until you feel almost empty with them. Bear listens, asking soft questions as you speak, allowing you the space you need even as your eyes water, staring up into the starry sky to keep them at bay.

You tell him about the night it all fell apart.

Raiders. The same kind that have attacked the outlying farms here in Jackson's territory. They caught your group unaware as you slept, and you awoke to screams, bloody impacts of blades, the snow turning red under your boots. The memory of a man backlit by the fire, advancing upon you with long, horrifying strides briefly makes your chest seize, your eyes go glassy and unseeing as they stare forwards.

Bear's hand grazes against yours, as if he's scared to touch you, as if you yourself are the flames. Yet when you don't pull away he presses closer, soon wraps his arms around you as you sag into the embrace, realizing after a moment just how starved you were for the warmth of another person. You don't cry, instead breathing in the strong, smoky scent of him that washes maple over your senses. Like a forest fire, the grief in you is slowly cindered away. In its place, soft green blooms sprout from the ashes.

You stay up on the rise until early dawn, dozing gently against Bear's side. Safe. Protected. At last, he rouses you just as scant light peeks over the horizon, chuckles at your sleepy murmur and then reminds you that you'll be missed if you linger. There's a bitterness in his gaze as he says it, and you blink upon realizing he wishes you didn't already belong to someone else. You want to tell him, want to tell him about the tear in your heart, want to confess to him the way you want Joel in the way you can only have Bear. Instead, you pad down into the valley below, trying to discern the conflict of your feelings.

Joel is waiting for you when you arrive at the house. It's still dark. The form of him is hazy around the edges with the glow of the lantern in the window. He's sitting on the steps, but as you approach he stands abruptly.

"Where were you?" He asks, voice dipping gruff and low in the way that means he's worried.

You feel something unpleasant squirm in your chest at the pinched look on his face, caught between vexation and regret. It sours the afterglow of your shared words with Bear, making you duck your head and sidle past him into the house.

"I was with Bear." You murmur as you pause in the doorway, not looking at him but imagining that maybe his eyes look hurt. You give a moment to let your words linger before you vanish from his sight.

------

It's often, after that, that you hike up to the rise to share Bear's company.

It's a shy, entreating thing at first, as you hesitate at the edge of the campfire and offer a 'Can I join you?' that Bear only smiles at and nods to the seat beside him. You hover at his side for a bit, fidgeting and conveying little bits of conversation, unsure of yourself yet wanting desperately to lean into him again, feel the warmth of his form leech into yours.

You have to fight down the feeling of guilt at being here with him. You have to remind yourself that you aren't Joel's, that you confessed to Joel only to be rebuffed, that the distance he's put between you two is the result of his own doing. You tried to tell him, tried to say you wanted to stay with him, but the memory of his eyes looking into yours with that emotion- guilt. Like he blamed himself for keeping you close.

You want him still. You want him to hold you the way Bear does. You want to feel his arms around you, want to huddle into him and be warmed by his shelter. Yet the more you drift to Bear for that exact thing, the more distance grows between you and Joel, and the further the pit of guilt opens up in your stomach. It’s selfish, what you’re doing, but you ache to be held, to be listened to, to have someone willing to open up to you the way Bear does.

You try instead to shed it away as you talk in slow, rambling tones with Bear. You talk about the day's events, about the news you get from Jackson, about the aches and complains from Caulder and the others. Eventually the topic drifts, and soon there's laughter and smiles between you both, eyes glinting with the sparks of the fire. You share with Bear the trials and tribulations of living here, as well as the deep, profound joy you've found within your healing. Bear welcomes it, tells you stories about his men, about him and Caulder from the before, their training and oath and brotherhood.

You begin to look forward to your evenings with Bear, begin bringing coffee up onto the rise with you and relish in the way his eyes light up at the scent. You stack kindling during the day for you to burn at night, watch as Bear chops extra wood to keep the fire burning brightly. There's smiles passed between you in the daytime, a deeply blossoming friendship that murmurs of something deeper you try desperately to ignore.

One evening, after a rainstorm has cleared and there's a gentle haze that dims the stars, Bear looks to the sky and tells you in a soft confession about the day that changed everything.

Friday, September 26th, 2003.

The day it all went wrong.

The team had just gotten back from a mission abroad, killing a man who had a hand in the death of one of their own. Yet no sooner had they put boots on the ground in Virginia Beach were they ordered to lift off once more, not given a chance to even eat due to the urgency of their mission- escorting an ambassador out of growing unrest in the Middle East. Bear and the others had already heard murmurs by that point, strange stories in the media of martial law in Indonesia. Yet it wasn't until their mission that the understood.

Infected. People who had become sick, had changed into something not human, things that didn't stop even when you shot them. Bear explains how he and the others had lost the ambassador, that one of their own, Trevor, had tried to rescue him, only to be killed himself. He tells you how the remaining five of them had spent ten hours in the air wondering if the world ended before they could get home.

They had returned to a nightmare. Infected had swarmed the city, and Bear and the others wasted no time in combing the carnage in search of their families. Fish, Chase, watched their worlds crumple before their eyes in grief, their families already lost. Buddha was the one to find his wife and children safe but not unharmed, and the group had spent the next week escorting them to the Atlanta QZ and leaving Buddha with them.

Bear doesn't mention his own family. You don't ask.

After that they moved west, towards a daring dream of California where they imagined Caulder's daughter was. They had kept up hope for years, trying to find a trace of her, only to come up empty handed. Eventually they drifted east again, traveling as mercenaries for hire, falling back on their skills as soldiers to survive. Years later they ended up in Jackson, and there they had stayed. They rest, they say, was history.

Bear relays the story with tightly concealed emotion, focusing only on events and facts, refusing to show the aching hurt inside him even as he opens himself up to yours. Even so, you can see it in his eyes, can see the regret and pain linger there when he dares to glance at you. He's burning himself, and you desperately wish the rain would return to douse the grief inside his chest. Your heart aches for him, and you fall asleep on his shoulder, eyes damp with hurt for the things he's lost.

The crackle of the fire drifts softly against your senses, merging with the rustle of the wind over the hills and Bear's soft, quiet breathing. It soothes against you, drags you down into a gentle doze where you're tucked against his shoulder.

---

You awake with a start as Bear stiffens against you, sucking in a breath and adjusting the rifle in his grip. You shift, rouse against his side, blink blearily and try to process the words Bear has just murmured down at you.

"Get to the cabin."

You snap to, standing with him as he rises to his feet. His form is coiled tightly, a white-knuckle grip on the rifle. When you glance into his eyes the orange glint of flames dances darkly in his gaze, jaw clenched and shoulders taut as he readies himself for the threat he sees in the distance. When you follow his stare, you see it, the shapes and shadows of riders on the next hill over, dark against the night sky.

Raiders.

Bear's voice is a dragging, smoky growl down at you, one hand loosing from the rifle to gently push you in the direction of the valley below.

"Now."

When you run down the hill, the devastating, thunderous sound of Bear's rifle echoes out in the midnight like an omen of destruction.

Joel is at the porch with his own rifle by the time you reach the edge of the barn, and when he calls your name it's with a shout, a scream you've never once before heard him use. It chills your blood, threatens to crack the heavens above your form. You race towards him, shawl fluttering from your shoulders as Bear's rifle once more fires into the dark, as hoofbeats echo down from the rise, as your world alights in destruction.

Caulder and the others were awakened by the first shot, armed by the second, and now as the raiders descend into the valley below they spill from the barn onto their own horses. It takes mere moments for the world around you to be consumed by the shaking ground under you, the approaching sound of riders behind you as you hurl yourself back towards Joel, legs pumping and eyes wide with terror.

You watch as Joel lifts his rifle, points it in your direction just as the shrill whinny of a horse closes in on your form. The echo of it shatters in the dark, and you stumble and fall just as Joel's aim finds the rider less than ten steps behind you, his rider-less horse racing mere feet past your fallen form.

Joel screams your name once more, in that holler that trembles the earth around you, and you stumble to your feet only to feel the side of you alight in warmth. You turn, eyes horrified as they reflect the flickering flames of a torch just as it reaches the woodpile stacked against the barn.

"NO!!" You scream, now pointing yourself in the direction of the blaze. Shots ring out around you, hoofbeats and shouts and whistles the only sounds in the world, muffling the growing flames that lick at the wood panels of the barn. You barely hear them, thinking instead about the animals you and Joel have spent so much time caring for, the lambs that you had watched him catch as hope bloomed in his eyes.

It takes effort to tip over the rain barrel at the edge of the barn onto the growing blaze, smoke stinging your eyes and clogging your throat. The flames are higher than you now, and as you use a bucket to slosh water higher you pray to whatever god will listen that the flare doesn't reach the hayloft.

Hands grab at you, and instinctively you scream, push back at whatever attacker has seized you. Yet Joel's voice pierces your thoughts, and when you turn you see the panic written clear across his gaze. The fire glints off both your forms, and for the briefest of moment you see Joel's lips form the words "It's me."

Together the two of you race towards the barn door, with Joel at your back lifting his rifle towards the shadowy riders that circle your homestead. It takes effort to haul open the gates inside, releasing first the horses, and then braving the growing smoke towards the sheep. They hesitate, frightened inside their corral, so you launch yourself in and scare them from the pen, watching as they spill towards the barn doors. Joel stands there as they dart in the direction of the pasture, and once more you beg the heavens that Caulder and the others can distract the raiders long enough for them to get away.

Smoke smarts against your vision now, descending heavy as the hayloft begins to catch. Yet you manage to release the other two pens of sheep before at last trying to make your way towards the barn door. As you do, you hear a terrified bleat, eyes wet as you turn towards a forgotten lamb who'd been injured in the surge. Despite the heavy smoke descending from the ceiling, you stumble and scoop the little one into your arms, desperately coughing and blinking as you fumble in search of the door. You try and follow the sound of Joel's voice, feeling heat sear against your skin.

Hands seize on your form, dragging you along as you wheeze and splutter, until at last  you're hauled into the cool night air, grass sticking to your knees as you collapse. You fall forward so your head braces on the ground, still clutching the lamb tightly in your arms as you heave for air. The sound of gunshots is muffled down by the roar of the inferno, heat searing at your back. Yet the earth trembles less, the shouts and whistles have faded to infrequent rifle shots that make you flinch with each round.

You don't know how long you stay down on the ground, coughing up smoke and feeling the lamb in your tightly clutched hold tremble with you. The acrid smell of smoke fills your nose, clogs your thoughts and summon the vision of a man backlit by flames, his blade raised as he brings it down on your form.

"J-Joel-" You gasp, one arm stretching out in front of you. Your chest splutters, lungs heaving with each breath. You're so cold despite the raging fire of the barn, frostbite lingering on your lips as you try to breathe.

Hands reach for you, raise you up and soon you're dragged into an embrace, face streaked with tears and ash. You drag in a gasping suck of air that looses as sob, warmth spilling from the corner of your eyes as you struggle to breathe and cry all at once. The arms holding you smell like gunpowder and smoke and maple, holding you fast as you collapse into them. A hand grasps at his jacket, and you dare to hope that maybe, maybe the person holding you is the one you want.

Bear's face blinks into your gaze.

He presses you back to his chest before he can see the conflict in your eyes, refusing to let himself see the things that might hurt him, refuses to let you see his own pain at the look in your eyes. On his knees, his rifle discarded beside him, he drags you to him, shushes you when sobs crack in your throat, confused and hurt and wanting.

Another hand settles on your shoulder, and you don't need to look up to see who it is. Joel's grasp is solid, familiar, and you raise a hand up to grasp at his sleeve as if he might pull away. yet it only draws Bear's arms tighter around you as a result, as if trying to shield you and keep you with him just a little longer.

"You're okay." He hushes into your hair as you sob, cough up smoke, caught between the forest and the blaze as your world burns to ash. "We've got you."

"We're here. You're safe."

“You’re safe.”

Taglist:

(Please reblog this post to be added to the taglist for the final update)

@yeyinde @alittlefansthings @joebeargraves @moriflos @aeoncss @havenforafrazzledmind @littlemisspascal @zwiiicnziiix

[bittersweet-in-boston]

Happy New Year, tumblr friendies! Here’s to a good 2023

[tsukimirecs]

sukuna ryomen // fic recommendations

note: remember to read the tags! + i do not own any of these works

on your life (and for the rest of mine)

the odyssey

blackmail

then and now

the death sentence

hell is still in session

chained

like warmth to the freezing

you're mine

in the plain cold night

downfall

playful interruption

nearly a blip in time

the offering

dire straits

a lesson in paradise

unlikely reunion

somewhere only we know

gingerbread

double trouble

annoying brat

not many women

little spider

a curse left behind

unholy

lifetimes

the pact

sukuna + glasses

woodsmoke and toasted marshmallows

bells

no name romance

only yours, forever

[daisychainsandbowties]

KEPLER AND KUIPER MY BELOVED IF YOU EVER WRITE THEM AND STOP BATHING LILITH IN BLOOD

em… em it’s like making hot chocolate. you gotta let the mini marshmallows soak up all the blood 😌😌😌

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister) Part 3 (Lucien's Version)

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3 ( Azriel's Version)

AN: I'm not really sure if I like how this turned out, so if you're new here I promise my writing it typically so much better. ALSO there are so many new faces on here! I wanted to say hello and thank you for the love once again! If you liked this fic and you love drama, forbidden love, protective acotar boys, a bit of a slow burn, and political intrigue you would LOVE and I mean LOVE my fic Young Love and Old Money. I’m still writing it but it’s almost completed! Go check it out you won’t be disappointed!

and of course check out my masterlist

Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right? 

Warnings: smut, so much lucien fluff, happy ending for lucien (for once) :)

Word count: 5057

We arrived in the house in silence, the only thing to fill the void was the crackling of the enchanted fire that always sprang to life whenever I walked through the door. My eyes were fixed on the floorboards, studying every grain of wood as I put together what had just happened. 

I had told Azriel about the bond, and I did it in anger. I had imagined telling him a million different ways over the past 400 years but never did imagine doing it out of spite. I was just so angry with Elain and her insufferable entitlement that had me seeing red. If anyone should act in such a manner, it should be me, I was a princess after all. 

I was furious with Elain there was no doubt about that, but the voice that kept echoing in my mind was Azriel’s. How he yelled at me. I had known him my whole life and I had never once been afraid of him,  until today. 

As if he was tired of the silence, Lucien brushed his hand under my chin bringing my gaze to his, it wasn’t until then that I realized I was crying. I didn’t even give him a chance to ask if I was alright before I started blubbering. 

“Lu I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to. She just got under my skin and I-” 

“Shhh” he cooed, pulling me into his chest. “It’s okay, I understand. I didn’t react much better when Azriel started talking.” he chuckled, no doubt remembering how he preemptively called me his wife, the words had rolled off his tongue so effortlessly it was admirable. 

“He’s never raised his voice to me like that. Not ever,” I hiccup into his chest, his scent like apples, spiced berries and woodsmoke. 

“I should’ve burned him to a crisp for doing so he has no right to treat you that way,” he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“It’s alright, now that he knows he’ll be entitled to act possessive of me,” I sigh, starting to feel my pulse slow in his arms. 

“And I’m not granted that same right? To protect you?” Lucien said, tilting my chin up to meet his gaze. 

“Well, you aren’t my mate,” I laugh looking into his eyes. 

“And what if that doesn’t matter to me? That we aren’t mates? What if I think that the Cauldron made a terrible, horrible mistake by not binding me to you in every way imaginable?” he confesses. 

I search his face for a hint of that playful gleam I saw earlier. The trickster, the silver tongued fox who might be playing me for a fool. But I didn’t find it, for all those fiery eyes bore was sincerity. 

“What do you mean Lu?” I ask earnestly. 

“Exactly what I said, you aren’t my mate, but…” he stops as if to consider his words. “But I still feel like you are in a way, I feel protective of you. In a way I always have, remember when you scraped your knee climbing that cherry blossom tree in the spring court all those years ago?” 

I smile remembering the event, I had wanted some cherry blossoms to braid into my hair. “Yes I do, I still have the scar.” I laughed. 

“I know you do, I see it every time I make love to you,” he smiled back. “I remember carrying you to the healers at the spring court from half a mile out. Even then I couldn’t stand the thought of you bearing any sort of scar. What I’m trying to say is that you may not be my mate, but I love you like you’re mine. Because you are, you are mine.”

My breath gets caught in my throat and my eyes go wide at those three little words. The ones I thought I might’ve felt too these past few months. 

I love you. 

For a year now things between Lucien and I had been strictly situational, just a means to an end. Then I started noticing the little things, his toothbrush next to mine, his laundry in my hamper, him having his own side of the bed. Things changed, but it wasn’t a bad change, which was a new idea for me, as I had always resented change. But not this, this was good. 

I thought I had felt that emotion with Lucien before. The night that I came home and he had made us both dinner. The time he bought me the second book in a series just because he noticed I was almost done with the first. The week I was sick he nursed my back to health. I thought I felt love each and every one of those times, but I wasn’t sure. I always teetered on saying it but never caved. But as I stood here in his arms, watching his eyes light up as he said those words to me, I knew I felt the same.

“I-I love you too Lucien,” I said quietly so only he could hear, even though we were the only two people in the house. 

He wastes no time bringing his mouth to mine, for so long our kisses had been fervent, needy. Both of us desiring pleasure and the codling that came after it. This kiss was different than all the rest, in it I felt real love. The kind I had only read about in my numerous romance novels. I dreamed of being kissed this way my entire life. 

I felt strong hands grip my waist hoisting me up. My legs instantly wrapped around his waist as he started bounding up the stairs, his enthusiasm making me giggle.

“Believe me my love, there is nothing funny about the way I’m going to ravish you tonight,” he smirked before kicking open the bedroom door. 

The next day I woke up slowly, not wanting to move from where Lucien had placed me on his chest last night. Both of us took our time to have a steady morning knowing that later in the day there would be chaos. Lucien got up first, always the more responsible of the two of us. When I murmured a sleepy protest he simply chuckled and placed me back in bed, where I snuggled into the warm sheets that smell faintly of him. 

When I woke for the second time I smelled that delectable scent of pancakes wafting through the small townhouse. The aroma pulled me from the sheets in a sleepy haze as if my body was controlled by some other worldly force. Slipping on my blue nightgown and padding downstairs into the kitchen I found Lucien half clothed and cooking breakfast for the two of us.

“Blueberry pancakes, not chocolate chip,” he assured me, sprinkling fresh blueberries onto a pancake. 

“You remembered,” I sighed leaning against the counter watching him intently. When Lucien had first made breakfast for me I was taken aback by his cooking skills, there was no way that this man was the complete package. 

“How could I forget?” he laughed, flipping a pancake. “Last time I made chocolate you were on your cycle and you were so befuddled that you yanked the spatula out of my hand and spanked me with it.” 

I slid between him and the stove, “Don’t act like you didn’t like it,” I say my voice low and sultry as my hand slowly reaches for the spatula he’s hidden behind his back. 

“You little minx,” he teases when he feels my fingers searching for the torture weapon. The mischievous gleam flashes in his eyes and before I can run he swipes a blob of whipped cream from a nearby bowl onto my cheek. 

“Lu!” I scoff going to wipe the cream off my cheek but he grasps my wrist to stop me. 

“Fair is fair my dear,” he smirks before licking the sweetness off my cheek. I immediately feel my toes curl at the fiery sensation.

“You are insatiable,” I laughed, moving away from him to properly wipe my face.

I feel a quick slap to my arse with the spatula and I turn to see my fiancé standing with a self satisfied smirk. “Says you little miss ‘more Lucien more!’” he teases recalling how I begged him to touch me last night.

“I knew you would  tease me about that!” I shouted, pushing his study form as hard as I could, he didn’t even teeter. “I’ll never beg for you again!” 

He smiles, grabbing my left hand and pulling it to his mouth, placing a kiss on the ring adorning it. “There will never be a need,” he smirked. “Now go and set the table, babysitting Nyx duties can’t be put off for forever.” 

I had told Rhys and Feyre that I would happily watch Nyx this afternoon. Of course that was before they knew about Lucien, who might’ve gotten away with a pleasant afternoon in my townhouse with a new book but now? He was shackled to me to watch the young one.

 While the little High Lord in training was typically quite docile, he had just learned to crawl and had begun flapping his little wings, which meant trouble was becoming the new normal. Which is exactly what had happened today…

“Nyx no!” I shouted as he reached for a heavy book on one of the bookshelves, his tiny wings helping him to gain the extra inch or two of ground he needed. 

I grabbed him from underneath his shoulders and brought him into my arms, bouncing him on my hip as his eyes caught the shiny necklace I was wearing. His little hands grabbed at it and I figured it was better than a vase or another heavy book. 

“Just imagine till he can actually fly,” Lucien chuckled, coming up behind me.

“That won’t be for quite a while thankfully,” I laugh, bouncing the babe up and down.

“Are you so sure about that? Cassian seems to already be giving him lessons.” he points out. 

“I don’t even want to think about a flying toddler,” I scoff and Lucien chuckles behind me. 

 He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I could feel his lips curling into a smile.“Is it bad that I’m enjoying watching this?” he admitted. 

“Watching what?” I laugh as Nyx puts the necklace in his mouth. 

“You, with a baby in your arms,” he said. 

“I’ve always wanted children,” I said and a beat of silence passed until I decided to be bold. “Lu, do you think we could ever have children?” I ask, afraid to turn around and possibly see a wary look on his face.

I felt Lucien’s chuckle reverberate behind me, “As many as you would like my darling.” he laughed. 

I whipped around with Nyx to search his eyes for a hint of uncertainty, but he seemed happy about the idea, “Really?” I asked in disbelief. 

“Of course,” he assured me. 

“I want a million just like little Nyx here,” I smile looking at the babe in my arms. 

“Minus the wings of course,” Lucien laughs behind me and I pause. 

My entire life I had always pictured my children with wings. Small, delicate little things that I would ‘ooo’ and ‘ahhh’ over.  I remembered seeing the Illyrian children in Windhaven growing up, I was always so happy when mothers would let me hold their babies, their wings so adorably small. I looked forward to having winged children of my own, but now things had changed. 

“What is it my dear?” Lucien asked, breaking me out of my trance. 

“Oh it’s nothing, it’s just that when I pictured my children I always figured they would have wings,” I say, pressing a kiss to Nyx’s temple. 

As if summoned, Azriel walked in, Rhys and Feyre in tow, signaling that their meeting was over. His eyes flitted to me, no doubt having heard what I had said. Lucien’s hand tightened on my hip. 

“How was he? Was he good?” Feyre smiled crossing the room to take her son in her arms once more.

“He was, but those wings are going to give me grief one day,” I smile watching Nyx snuggle into his mothers arms. 

“Don’t worry I’m terrified too,” Rhys laughed, approaching his mate and child. 

A comfortable silence ensued as I watched the little family reunite, smiles and warmth surrounding them. Lucien’s hand came to my shoulder, as if promising that we too would have that same picture perfect family one day. 

“Can we talk?” Azriel asked timidly, taking a step away from the doorway he leaned against. Feyre and Rhys take out of the room, no doubt feeling the change in the atmosphere.  

I searched his eyes for a hint of aggression but all I found was remorse, “Yes we may,” I say quietly.

“If you lay one hand on her spymaster I will burn you to ash,” Lucien growled, his hand on my shoulder tightening possessively.

“You have my word that I will not touch her in anger,” Azriel said earnestly, not a hint of teasing or mockery. Instead, a new found respect for Lucien showed in his eyes. 

I go to follow Azriel into the other room when I feel Lucien grab my hand pulling me into his broad chest. 

“Wait,” he said before slamming his lips to mine. The gesture was so passionate I couldn’t help but let out the slightest of moans as I felt him cradle the back of my head. This wasn’t just a kiss goodbye, it was a display of power to Azriel, letting him know how serious the two of us were. I couldn’t help but feel my lips turn up at Lucien’s sudden daring. 

I felt him back away to survey my face, as if looking for any hesitancy to enter into a conversation with Azriel. When he was certain I was comfortable he placed a kiss on my brow, “I’ll be right here if you need me.” he said as I dropped his hand and followed Azriel into Rhys’ study. 

The doors to the office closed with a resolute click as Azriel turned to face me, his eyes somber. 

“First and foremost I wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I behaved the other night. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that or said the things I did” he said leaning against the desk a food meter away from me, as if Lucien had scared him from coming any closer. 

“It’s alright I forgive you. I shouldn’t have blurted out such an important thing anyways. We were both at fault.” I say earnestly. 

Azriel pulls his gaze from his boots to me, “I heard what you said in there, about your children having wings. Did you ever picture that those children would be?” he starts leaving me room to finish the sentence for him. 

“Yours? Yes.” I say timidly.

Azriel sighs as if weighing what all this means, “How long have you known?” he prompts. 

I think to lie, but it wouldn’t bear well on my soul. It was best to get it all out in the open. 

“400 years.” I confess and he curses under his breath. “I knew it the night you danced with me at the solstice ball in the Hewn City.” 

“Fuck y/n,” he curses again, turning to brace his hands on the desk behind him and I take a tentative step towards him. 

“I’m sorry I never told you, that wasn’t fair to you.” I sigh, but he doesn’t reply so I continue on. “It’s just that every time I thought about it you were pining for Mor and then Elain. I never felt I stood a chance. But you would talk to me about them, and even though it broke my heart to hear how you loved them so, it was better than losing you. I told myself that if I couldn’t have your love I would cherish your friendship, and maybe that was selfish of me but I did it.” 

Azriel finally turned from the desk to meet my gaze and I tried to offer him the most sympathetic glance I could. 

“I understand why you never told me, but I still wish I had known. Thing’s might’ve been different.” he said, running a hand through his hair. 

I pause to consider his words, “Would they be?” I ask. 

He looked at me in confusion, like I was dispelling the idea that the sky was blue. I understood his disarray. For thousands of years things had always been the same, mates were mates and that was that. But maybe what Lucien said last night did have merit. 

“Are you not happy with Elain?” I prompt him with a light heart, as I finally started to feel some solace in my own words. 

“y/n I don’t want to-” 

“You do not burden me Az.” I interrupt him, knowing what he was going to say. “Tell me truthfully.” 

A blush tints his cheeks as he averts his gaze to his boots once more, “I am happy. I am very happy.” he smiles as if he can’t help it. 

“I think it was meant to be this way,” I say honestly watching the shadowsinger reeling in front of me. 

“What about you? Are you?”

“Happy?” I ask, glancing to the door where I know Lucien waits for me on the other side. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.” I smile answering him. 

“How long have you and him been… you know?” he asks, seemling losing all tension in his body as he sees me at ease.  

“Since starfall,” I answered, remembering the first time Lu kissed me. 

“A year?!” Az balked, raising his voice in disbelief. 

I laugh watching his face drop, “it’s interesting the things you don’t notice when you’re in love,” I wink at him, knowing he was too caught up with Elain to pay any mind to Lu and I. 

Azriel shakes his head as if processing this new information before he turns to me again, “And do you love him?” he asks. 

I smile remembering last night, “I do, I love him very much.” I answer. 

“And does he love you?” Az presses further, as if he needs to tie up all loose ends before he can be at ease with the entire situation. 

“I think he made that pretty clear a couple minutes ago,” I laughed, referring to the kiss he gave me. 

“Yeah I suppose I got that message loud and clear,” Azriel chuckled as a pause of silence fell over us. “I think… I think in another lifetime we would’ve made each other really happy.”

“Maybe even this lifetime.” I say sadly thinking of what could’ve been. “But I love Lucien, he chose me when I thought no one else would, and maybe I’m making a mistake by marrying him. But somehow it feels like the first right thing I’ve done in the past 400 years.” 

“He’s a very lucky man,” Azriel remarked with a certain sadness. “I hope that you will be happy with him,” he finished seemingly giving me his blessing.

“I think it was meant to be this way, don't you?” I ask, finally feeling my heart and my conscious lighten. 

“I do,” he smiles before holding his hand out to me. “Friends?” he asks. 

I nod clasping my hand in his, “Friends.” 

“Let’s get you back to your fiancé before I find myself in a pile of ash on the floor,” Azriel chuckles, putting his hand on the door. 

I laugh with him and when the door to the living room opens I find Lucien and Elain hugging. 

My heart is caught in my throat as I realize that perhaps Lucien might’ve changed his mind. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. She was his true mate after all and, she was astonishingly beautiful. Maybe I was misled when Azriel and I settled our differences. 

Both their heads whipped our way, and Lucien’s smile shined brightly. I was unsure of who that smile was for until he ran over to me, grabbing me by the hips and spinning me around. 

“It is done,” Lucien cheered and out of the corner of my eye I saw Azriel throw an arm around Elain’s shoulders. 

“What is?” I laughed once my feet were back on the ground. 

“I don’t want to wait any longer. I want to call you my wife by sundown.” Lucien said affectionately. 

“And why shouldn’t you wait? She’s a princess after all, you should snatch her up while you can,” Elain called out affectionately from Azriel’s side. I couldn’t help but look at the two of them standing there.  

A hand snaked its way under my chin taking my attention to him before he planted his lips on mine. “Be mine, forever.” he proposed. 

I couldn’t stop the smile that graced my face, “Okay,” I said quietly. 

A cheer from Elain erupted behind me and suddenly it felt like all the pieces were falling into place, like everything I had ever wanted for myself had now come true. 

The ceremony was short, just like Lucien and I had wanted. However, instead of an elopement it was a small gathering, Cass and Ness, Amren, Mor, Az and Elain and of course Rhys and Feyre were present. I wore my mothers dress and at some point Lu had slipped out to buy me a proper ring, not that I minded the old one. 

The rest of the night was filled with drinking and frivolity. The whole family laughing and telling stories, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I belonged with all of them, as I sat on my husband's lap. It wasn’t until many glasses of wine later that I found Lucien carrying me bridal style over the threshold of our home. 

“This really isn’t necessary,” I laughed, holding a spare bottle of wine in my hand as he stepped through the doorway, the fireplace roaring to life. 

“It’s traditional for a husband to carry his wife over the threshold of their home after the wedding.” he retorted, stepping inside the house and closing the door with his foot. 

“For humans not for fae,” I corrected him as he finally set me down on slightly unsteady legs. 

“Maybe I just wanted an excuse to carry you,” he laughed, taking the wine from my hand and setting it on a side table by the door. 

“You never need an excuse for that,” I laughed, throwing my arms around his neck. 

“Well in that case,” he smirks before picking me up again and bounding up our stairs.

My feet don’t hit the floor until we’re in our room, his lips finding mine in an instant. With a wave of my hand I remove my dress, magically placing it back to wherever my dear brother found it. Lucien tossed his shirt over his head so that my hands might wander the plains of his toned chest. His hands find my hips pushing me away ever so slightly so that he can see me.

His eyes graze the expanse of my bare body and I’m suddenly frustrated by the fact that I’m the only one laid bare in the room. 

“My wife,” he says, kissing my lips, pulling me closer. “My, beautiful, beautiful wife.” he kisses me again, smiling like he can’t help it. 

I try to speak but he deepens the kiss once more, robbing me of words as he uses his body to overpower me with sheer force. His hands find my arse, giving it a squeeze before lifting my feet off the ground and tossing me onto our bed. 

In a turn of events, my eyes wander the expanse of his body. Toned from years and years of training. His eyes sparkle with amusement and suddenly I feel like a sitting duck awaiting his mouth on me once more. 

He falls onto the bed, hovering over me as he places yet another kiss on my lips. I use his imbalance to knee his hips towards the bed, my body weight pinning him beneath me as his eyes look up to me with pure lust. Large hands dance up my sides as if to encourage any next move I might make. 

“My handsome, cunning, silver tongued husband,” I smirk, placing a kiss on his bare chest. My mouth trails over his chest, to his shoulders, and his collar bones. Needing every part of him on my lips. It isn’t until I get to his neck that he lets loose a groan and flips us back over. 

“While I enjoy the sight of you pleasuring yourself on my cock wife, I shall be the one to take you tonight,” he smirks, biting my neck hard, no doubt trying to leave his mark there. 

“Oh Lu,” I breathe, feeling my  body come alive over his lips and wandering hands. 

My eyes shoot open as I feel his breath hovering over my sex, the warmth causing my blood to burn. 

“What a lucky male a I am to be able to taste this sweet cunt whenever I please,” he smiled mischievously before licking a stripe up my center.

I let out a breathy moan as he continues to lick and suck every inch of me. His hands parting my thighs warm and hard as he circles my clit with his tongue. My fingers thread through his hair pulling him impossibly close, earning a groan from him that reverberates through me. 

“Like fucking honeysuckle,” he moans before trailing more kisses up my body. 

I slink down moving towards where his cock peeks out of his untied breeches. Needing to feel the weight of him in my mouth, needing to hear the whimpers of pleasure on his tongue but he stops me. 

“No not tonight,” he fusses pushing me back down into the mattress. 

“But Lu-”

“No buts” he interrupts. “I want to pleasure my new wife tonight. Let me have that,” he moans silencing any protest I might have with a kiss as he slides home. 

The all consuming feeling of being taken by him as me gasping for breath as my back arches off the bed. My tits rising towards his mouth and he easily grasps a hardened nipple between his lips, sucking eagerly. 

“Lucien,” I breathe feeling him all around me.

“I love you,” he rasped, thrusting deeper. “My wife I love you.” he grunted watching where he slammed into me with intensity. 

My hand came to cup his face bringing his eyes to mine. My fingers trace the scar over his golden eye as I see the emotion flood his russet colored eye. “I love you too, husband,” I whisper to him. 

A gleam finds his eyes and he drives into me harder, the sound of skin slapping reverberating throughout the room. It was as if me uttering his new title spurred him on. 

We’re a tangled mess of sweat slick limbs and ragged breaths as I feel him deeper and deeper inside of me. My nails scraping his back, trying to find purchase or something to anchor me as pleasure rips through my body. His pants become whimpers as I feel myself tightening around him. 

“Always so perfectly tight,” he curses, driving through my tight heat. 

His words are enough to have me falling apart under him, my legs shaking from pleasure as I cry his name. 

“Lucien oh gods!” I cry, my hands no doubt leaving marks in his skin. 

“That’s right my love, cum for me,” he groans before sputtering himself. “Fuck,” he mutters before I feel him burry his seed deep inside me. 

His whimpers fill the space between my neck and shoulder as he finishes inside me. Once he’s spent he rolls over taking me with him so I’m cuddled into his side. 

“I’m so unbelievably happy,” he whispers into the world, still coming down from his high. 

“I’m told that’s often a side effect of an orgasm,” I laugh running a hand up and down his chest, soothing him.  

“No,” he says breathlessly, turning so that he is hovering over me once more. “I’m unbelievably happy because of you. You have not only given me your love, but you’ve given me a house, and a family. I never thought I would have those things. You are… you are everything and I promise to be the most amazing husband I can be.” he smiles, pressing a kiss to my brow. 

“You already are,” I smile, pulling him into another heated kiss. 

It would undoubtedly be like this for many years to come. However long the Cauldron allowed me  to live, I knew I would always have a place here, with Lucien. And maybe things didn’t go as I had always planned, but gods was I happy, and more importantly I was loved. 

Lucien Vanserra chose me, not because I was his mate, or because the world told him to. No, he chose me because he loved me, even when it wasn’t convenient for him, and I chose him too. I would choose him until the end of my days. 

Epilogue: Five Years Later

“Careful my darling,” Lucien fussed, helping to lower me down onto a sofa. 

“Lu I’m pregnant not fatally injured,” I laugh waving him away as I rest my hands on my ever growing bump. 

“Of course, pregnancy is a walk in the park, I’ll remember that next time you beat me for serving you chocolate pancakes instead of blueberry,” he chides, pulling a blanket over my lap. “I spend a year telling myself you like blueberries and this little one comes along and all of the sudden you want chocolate.” 

“Pregnancy cravings are no joke my friend,” Rhysand laughs from the adjacent couch. “I find it best to satisfy your wife’s cravings as soon as possible before she asks for another ridiculous request.” 

“Especially when one’s wife is a princess,” Lucien teases, pressing a kiss to my temple.

“You married me!” I protest.

“And I thank the Cauldron every day that I did,” Lucien smiles, pressing a kiss to my lips finally.

Part 3 ( Azriel's Version)

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[strvberrydoll]

Omg i absolutely loved rosemary!!! Also the fact it’s based on a Sierra Ferrell song is amazing. That brings me to my request to maybe an Arthur fic based on her song “I Could Drive You Crazy” 🤭🤭🤭 I feel like that song is so Arthur and his darling girl coded

I COULD DRIVE YOU CRAZY

cw: fluff, hunting, pre-canon, two idiots in love, arthur is crushing so hard it’s actually embarrassing

wc: 3,3k

a/n: the way I SCREAMED when I saw your request anon !! i loove Sierra Ferrell she’s one of the few artists i have constantly on repeat. Sorry I took my sweet time replying but I had to make this piece good. This is a little insight on Arthur and his darling girl pre-relationship dynamic ! Thank you for requesting and I hope you like it <3

The late noon sun bathed the camp in a cold, bright light, casting the long shadows of the nearby douglas fir trees stretching all around you as it began its slow but steady descent behind the rolling hills of the Tall Trees region as afternoon approached. The smell of woodsmoke and simmering stew filled the air, mixing with the earthy scent of pine and the faint aroma of freshly turned earth. You stood beside Pearson, by the cooking wagon. Your hands busy chopping vegetables while the man stirred the stew pot, his gruff voice occasionally muttering to himself as he adjusted the few seasonings Miss Grimshaw desperately requested to add into his infamous venison stew. Abigail stood nearby, cleaning the dishes used in the morning. Her laughter light as she shared stories about young Jack with you.

“Jack’s been askin’ after you,” Abigail said with a fond smile. “Ever since he learned how to say your name he’s been saying it non stop. Makes me miss the time when the only things he could say was ‘mama’ and random bubbling noises”

“He’s a sweet kid,”

“Yes, and a spoiled one too. No matter how much I try, he refuses to go to sleep until he hears your voice telling him a goodnight story”

You chuckled, feeling a warmth in your chest at the thought of the boy’s eager face. “I’ll have to think up a good one for him tonight, then.”

The sound of approaching hoofbeats drew your attention away from the conversation. You glanced up just in time to see the men returning from their latest job. Dust and sweat clung to them, their faces weary but carrying the unmistakable look of men who had just succeeded at their mission. Among them, a particular figure caught your eyes. Arthur Morgan dismounted with practiced ease, his broad shoulders slumped slightly by the fatigue of the day’s event. Even from a distance, his presence was commanding, a strong aura following him as he led a tired Boadicea toward the hitching post.

Even from a distance, there was something about Arthur that drew your eye—his quiet strength, the way he moved with precise purpose, his steady presence that always seemed to bring a sense of security to the camp. You watched as he handled the reins, hitching Boadicea and patting her dark brown mane, undoubtedly praising her for a job well done.

Was it possible to be jealous of a horse ?

His gaze briefly scanned the camp before it landed on you. For a fleeting moment, your eyes met, and you felt a flutter in your chest. You quickly returned your attention to a particular interesting piece of tomato you had cut, wishing for your burning cheeks to calm.

“Mister Morgan!” Pearson’s booming voice cut through the air, making you wish the earth would swallow you whole. “We’re runnin’ low on meat. Reckon we’ll last two more days with what little I have.” Pearson’s voice lowering to a more quiet tone as Arthur inched closer to the wagon. “Can you head out and bring somethin’ back before it gets dark?”

Arthur looked over at the stew pot, his face churning with an unreadable expression, then back to Pearson with a nod. “Sure, Pearson. I’ll head out now.”

As he turned to leave, something inside you stirred. You weren’t sure if it was the desire to escape the mundane tasks of camp, to immerse yourself in the unknown beauty of the wilderness or, more than that, the desire for a chance to spend time with Arthur, to learn from him, to be close to him. Nonetheless, before you could second guess your action you placed down your knife, stepping forward, the words hurriedly leaving your lips as in fear you might stop them if they took a second longer to pronounce.

“Mister Morgan,” you called out, your voice a little hesitant. “May I come with you?”

He paused, turning to face you fully. A faint hint of surprise washed over his face. His aqua eyes, always so full of depth and intensity, softened slightly as he considered your request. “You sure ‘bout that? Huntin’ ain’t exactly a walk in the woods.”

“I’d like to learn,” you insisted, your heart beating faster as you met his gaze under his worn gambler’s hat. “If you don’t mind, that is.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, a gesture that seemed almost shy. He nodded. “Alright, then. Let’s get goin’.”

It took an immeasurable amount of strength to refrain yourself from smiling brightly at the man in front of you. You promptly returned to your cutting station, untying your apron in quick movements. Abigail came closer to you, taking the apron from your hands and putting it on ready to replace you in your work. As you two locked eyes, a knowing smile adorned the brunette’s face, making you flush.

Your steps were quick as you followed Arthur to the hitching post, your Hungarian half-bred just a few feet away from Boadicea. You gently pat her, giving her a stalk of celery you stole from Pearson. Circling around to tighten the strap of your saddle you felt the heavy gaze of the outlaw follow your every move. His muscular form already mounted on his horse. You mounted your horse, not wanting to trouble Arthur and make him reconsider his decision. He cleared his throat before speaking,

“We’ll go through the woods on the left near the lake,” he stated, tutting at his horse to move forward “Mac told me he found a few deer tracks down there.”

You simply nodded, not trusting your voice to give away your feelings.

The air was cooler than the already crisp air in camp. Beneath the canopy of trees, the sun’s rays filtering through the needles of the pine trees in dappled patterns on the forest floor. The smell of pine and earth was much stronger here, mingling with the fresh scent of moss and the faint musk of animals that had passed through earlier. Arthur led the way, silent and sure, while you followed close behind, too occupied by taking in the view to initiate a conversation.

Passing through a particularly steep path Arthur signaled you to stop. He hopped down from his horse, walking a few feet forward before stopping. You copied his action. The ground beneath your boots was soft, a carpet of moss and pine needles that muted your footsteps.

“First rule of huntin’,” Arthur began, his voice low and steady as he crouched down to examine a set of tracks in the soft dirt, “is patience. Animals can sense when somethin’ ain’t right, so you gotta move slow and stay quiet.”

You nodded, kneeling beside him as you peered at the tracks. They were faint, just a few indentations in the earth, but Arthur pointed them out to you with practiced ease. The proximity of him, the way his voice dropped down on to a near whisper, sent a thrill through you that had little to do with the hunt and everything to do with the outlaw beside you.

“There,” he said, his hand brushing against yours as he pointed. “That’s a deer track. See how the hooves dig in? Means it was here not too long ago. We follow these, and we might just catch up to it.”

His touch was fleeting, but it left a warmth on your skin that lingered long after he pulled his hand away. You nodded again, trying to focus on the task at hand, reprimanding your mind for wandering to such thoughts. But it was difficult with Arthur so close, his presence almost overwhelming in its quiet intensity.

Together, you moved through the woods, following the tracks with Arthur’s guidance. You moved in silence. The woods offered you the calm noises of the rustling of leaves, the distant call of a bird, and the soft crunch of your boots on the forest floor. Every now and then, Arthur would pause, his head tilting slightly as he listened for any signs of movement, his sharp eyes scanning the space surrounding you.

Finally, after what felt like hours to you but was probably only a few minutes, you spotted the deer—a lone buck grazing in a small clearing, its head down, completely unaware of your presence. Arthur’s hand came up in front of you, motioning you to stop and you both knelt down behind a fallen mossy log, using it for cover.

He handed you his rifle, his hands steady as they helped you position it against your shoulder. His touch on you gentle, guiding you with the same care and precision he used in everything he did. You could feel his breath on your neck, making the small hairs on your nape stand up. The brim of his hat grazing your hair as the heat of his body so close to yours made your heart beat so violently that you were sure Arthur could hear it.

“Alright,” Arthur whispered, his breath warm against your ear as he leaned in even close. “Here’s where it gets tricky. You gotta stay calm, keep your breathin’ steady, and line up your shot. Don’t rush it. As long as we don’t make a sound the deer will be there. Let the moment come to you.”

“Steady now,” Arthur murmured, his voice low and soothing. You took a deep breath, the crisp air filling your lungs. “Just like that. Breathe in… and out. Always pull the trigger on empty lungs”

You tried to focus, tried to steady your breath as he instructed, but the closeness of him, the deep rumble of his voice in your ear, made it difficult to concentrate. You aimed at the deer, your finger brushing the trigger, but your hands were trembling ever so slightly.

“Breathe,” Arthur reminded you, his hand coming to rest lightly on your shoulder grounding you, steadying you from the imminent recoil of the rifle. “You’ve got this.”

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the fluttering in your chest, and then you squeezed the trigger. The shot rang out, echoing through the trees.

A second passed where it was deadly silent, you opened your eyes to check on your target but your aim had been off. The bullet whizzed past the deer, embedding itself in the trunk of a nearby tree. The deer’s head shot up, and in an instant, it bolted, disappearing into the underbrush before you even had time to lower the rifle.

Your shoulders slumped in disappointment, and you let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry, Mister Morgan,” you muttered, gloomily handing the rifle back to him.

But Arthur wasn’t upset. Instead, he gave you a reassuring smile, his eyes warm as he shook his head with a strange myrth. “Don’t be sorry. You did good for your first try. Takes time to get the hang of it. Deer’s easy to track but a damn tricky target, especially when you’re just startin’ out.”

His words were kind, but you couldn’t help the sense of failure that settled in your chest. You had wanted to impress him, to show him that you could be just as capable as any of the men in the gang, but instead, you had let the moment slip away making a fool of yourself in front of him. You lowered your gaze to your lap, playing with a stray cotton strand of your blouse.

“Come on,” Arthur said, standing and offering you his hand. “Let’s see if we can track somethin’ else. We’ve still got some daylight left.”

You took his hand, feeling the roughness of his warm calloused palm against yours as he pulled you to your feet. The warmth of his touch, the easy way he smiled at you, made it hard to stay upset for long. There was something about Arthur—something steady and reassuring—that made you feel like everything was going to be alright, even when things didn’t go as planned.

You dusted off your skirt, it definitely wasn’t the best clothing choice for hunting but you had little to no time changing into a more comfortable outfit. You thanked whoever was above that this week wasn’t your turn to wash the camp’s clothes. Karen sure had a great load of work ahead of her.

The two of you mounted back up on your horses and continued deeper into the forest, the trees growing denser as the light began to fade. Arthur was patient, showing you how to look for signs of wildlife, teaching you how to move quietly through the underbrush without making yourself known to the animals you were tracking. His calm demeanor, his quiet confidence, made you feel more at ease, and slowly, you found yourself relaxing into the rhythm of the hunt.

As the sun dipped lower in the sky, casting the forest in a soft, amber glow, you spotted something moving in the distance—a wild boar, its dark shape partially hidden by the underbrush as it ate the roots of a bush near a fallen log. You felt a surge of excitement, your heart beating faster as you pointed it out to Arthur.

“There,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you hopped down from your horse. “There’s a boar!”

Arthur followed you down his horse. His eyes followed your gaze as he nodded, his gaze narrowing as he assessed the situation. “That’s a good target. Boar’s got tough skin, but he’s not too fast. You ready to give it another try?”

You nodded, your grip tightening on the rifle as Arthur handed it to you once more. This time, you felt more confident, more focused. Arthur had shown you what to do, had taught you how to read the signs, how to stay calm and patient. You could do this. You needed to do this.

You crouched down behind a bush making sure you had a clear view of the target. Arthur stayed close, his presence a steadying force as you lined up your shot. “Remember,” he said softly, his voice just above a whisper, “breathe slowly, keep your hands steady, and don’t rush it. You’ve got this.”

You took a deep breath, feeling the cool air fill your lungs as you focused on the boar. It was still rooting around, completely unaware of you and Arthur watching from the shadows. You steadied the rifle, your finger brushing the trigger, and then, with a calmness you hadn’t felt before, you squeezed.

The shot rang out, sharp and clear in the evening air. This time, your aim was true. The boar let out a sharp squeal, its body jerking as the bullet hit its mark. It staggered for a moment, and then it collapsed, its movements ceasing as it fell to the ground.

For a moment, you just stood there, staring in disbelief. You had done it. You had actually done it.

“I did it,” you whispered, a smile slowly spreading across your face as the realization sank in. “Arthur, I did it!” you said turning to face Arthur. You couldn’t believe yourself. You actually hunted down some game. A laughter came up to you, heartily and genuine.

Arthur’s face lit up with a grin, his eyes shining with pride as he clapped you on the back. “Good girl. Nice work. That’s some fine shootin’.”

His praise warmed you more than the fading sunlight ever could, and you felt a surge of joy and accomplishment. But it wasn’t just about the hunt—it was about the way Arthur was looking at you now, with a gleam in his eyes that hadn’t been there before, as if he was seeing you in a new light.

The two of you approached the poor boar, and Arthur knelt beside it, inspecting your handiwork with a nod of approval. “Perfect shot,” he said, glancing up at you from under his hat with a smile. “Damn, you’re a natural.”

Your heart swelled with pride at his words, and you couldn’t help but brightly beam at him, feeling a warmth in your chest that had little to do with the successful hunt and everything to do with the man beside you.

As Arthur worked skinning the animal and preparing the boar to transport it back to camp, you found yourself stealing glances at him. Although he was now covered in blood you couldn’t help but find him even more attractive. You watched the way the fading light played across his features, highlighting the strong lines of his jaw, the curve of his plump lips, the intensity in his eyes that seemed to soften whenever he looked your way. There was something different about the way he was acting around you now, a quiet affection in his gaze, a tenderness in his touch that hadn’t been there before.

Once the boar was ready, the two of you began to head back to camp, the weight of the animal stowed on the back of Boadicea as you carried its pelt. The forest was quiet now, the sun nearly gone, leaving the trees bathed in the soft, dusky indigo light of twilight. As you rode, side by side, you could feel the connection between you and Arthur growing stronger with each step, an unspoken bond that neither of you had to put into words growing evermore.

“Thank you for teaching me, Mister Morgan” you said softly, stopping your horse just a few feet away as the camp came into view, the warm glow of the firelight welcoming you back. The distance giving you both one last moment of privacy. “I’ve always wanted to learn, but I didn’t think I’d be any good at it.”

Arthur glanced over at you, his expression thoughtful. “You don’t need to be so formal with me now, you can call me Arthur,” he started. “Besides, you’ve got a good eye,” he said, his voice sincere. “And you listen, which is more than I can say for most people in this godforsaken gang. You did real good out there.”

The praise made your cheeks warm, and you ducked your head slightly, feeling a little shy under his gaze. “I had a good teacher.”

Arthur shook his head at that, hiding his face under the brim of his hat as he mumbled to himself something you didn’t quite catch.

“Maybe we’ll do this again sometime,” he said, his tone casual but with an underlying amusement that betrayed his carefree tone

“I’d like that,” you replied, your voice soft as the two of you approached camp, the sounds of the gang's usual chatter welcoming you back. “I’d like that a lot.”

As you helped Arthur carry the boar to Pearson, who greeted you with his usual gruffness but a nod of approval, you couldn’t help but feel that something had changed between you and Arthur. There was a new understanding, a deeper connection, something that went beyond the simple companionship you had shared before when you occasionally chatted while you worked on the camp’s chores.

As the evening wore on and the camp settled into its usual rhythm, you found yourself glancing over at Arthur, who was seated by the campfire, his gaze occasionally drifting your way. And each time your eyes met, there was a spark—a shared smile, a lingering look—that hinted at something more.

And in that moment, you knew that this was just the beginning. The beginning of something special, something that neither of you could quite put into words, but that you both felt growing with every passing moment you spent together.

[bookworm-with-coffee]

Insecurities. . .

(Kili x Reader)

(A/N); Hello and welcome, readers!! As always, thank you for stopping by!! I thought it was high time to write a fic for Kili! After all, who can resist that cheeky smile of his?? Do enjoy! ❤

Plot; Comfort drabble

Pairings; Kili x Reader (Romantic)

Warnings; fluffity-fluff and some angy-angst

_____________________________________

The evening was cheerful, the Company of Thorin Oakenshield having stopped for the night after a long day's travels. Peaceful ambience of the forest began to increase in the nightfall, the breeze light and cool as it swayed through the rustling trees.

Firelight filled the camp with a warm flickering glow, the smell of woodsmoke and Bombur's cooking potent in the air. Conversation was easy to find and delightful, as always. Bofur, Dwalin, Nori and a few of the others were sat together, conversing in what sounded like their native tongue. The intricacies and mysteries of Khuzdul still left you amazed, despite how it was only merriful banter.

You had stood by Bombur, offering to take Bofur's place tonight as the food-server. Each bowl of soup was steaming hot, your steps having to be quick to avoid burning yourself too badly from the scalding liquid as it dripped from the bowl. Each Dwarf had eagerly taken the food that was offered, exhaustion fueling their hunger. Even Bilbo and Gandalf seemed relieved to finally be eating this evening. The days were long and draining, trudging through the wilderness in the everchanging landscape. You too found relief in finally dropping down beside the youngest of the two Princes once your rounds were finished.

Fili, who usually kept him company of a nighttime, was occupied in the audacious conversations nearby. The booming laughter that rang out almost startled you whilst you settled in alongside Kili, him offering the occasional soft chuckle at the words being thrown between bites of his food.

Darting to you, the Prince's hazel eyes glistened with the embers of the campfire. A soft smile of amusement crossed his face, the action always seeming to offer you comfort. "What are they on about now?", you quirked a brow, his expression becoming contagious.

"By this point in the conversation, I don't think you want to know".

"Enlighten me", you encouraged, laughter slipping from the Princeling's lips. It was hard for Kili to restrain his smile when he finally obliged.

"They're taking bets on whether or not Bofur uses his hat in the bedroom".

"Pigs", you huffed, a moment's silence passing before you added, "He clearly does". The Prince snorted, his soup suddenly travelling through his nostrils. Something akin to a guffaw escaped his lips, whilst he desperately tried to grapple his composure in your now shared laughter.

"Agreed", he managed to wheeze out, wiping at his face and mouth.

In moments like this, you appreciated the bond that had formed between you both. Despite the seriousness of the quest at hand, you always found yourself at ease within Kili's easygoing nature and cheeky humour. He always had a way of soothing your anxieties with his jokes and lighthearted conversations, always looking on the brighter side of things. And although he was oblivious to such things, you'd come to find him to be quite beautiful.

It was hard not to when the light of the fire danced over his features, illuminating the strands of hair that fell effortlessly over his face. You'd come to admire those wavy tresses with their now auburn glow, sitting over his strong and broad shoulders. You wondered how he cared for them, keeping them so clean despite the lack of hygiene this quest entailed.

With his head turned and gaze fixed on the forest ahead, you found that his messed half-up had lost a few strands that dangled, masking the Prince's handsome face from your current view. His metal clasp was now sitting loosely on the back of his head. And although it offered him a fitting style, you wished to fix it for him.

Dinner became suddenly forgotten in your new endeavours when you decided to test the waters with Kili. Reaching for the strand that had fallen loose over his face, your fingertips worked the silken strands behind his ear with a delicate precision. The Prince almost seemed to stiffen at your touch, his breaths halting whilst goosebumps ignited across his skin. His lips had parted, lashes fluttering. No woman had ever touched him like that before. And although there was nothing sensual about your touch, it made every part of him light up like fire, craving more of that soothing gentleness.

Sensing his quiet, you became hesitant to continue. "May I fix your hair for you?". Your question had his hazel orbs clouding in confusion, scanning your face for any sign that you may have been jesting. He nodded shyly, his voice seeming to waver slightly,

"Please". That being all the confirmation you needed, you pulled the large clasp from his hair, the thick layers falling loose. Excitement bubbled in your chest whilst you shuffled closer to the handsome Dwarf.

Steadying his breaths, he resisted the shudder that passed through him when your fingers began working through his hair like a gentle comb. You began to remove the small tangles, relishing in the soft touch of his hair. The moisture in the strands was not greasy or dirty in nature and his waves bounced back, unaffected by your touches. The Prince's eyes had fallen closed, his dinner being long abandoned in his blissful state. The sensation of your nails brushing over his scalp had him drawing his bottom lip between his teeth to fight the pleasurable sighs that dared to leave his throat.

The boisterous conversations that once ensnared his attention had faded from his ears. He was barely able to register your voice when you spoke so gently to him. "Your hair is so beautiful", you marveled, spindling his soft hair between your fingers playfully. "How do you keep it so soft and lovely?". The young Prince felt his throat tightening from shock, pondering what your interest was in his hair. In his opinion, there was nothing special about his tresses.

Kili gathered no attention from women, unlike his fellow kin. His complete lack of facial and body hair meant that to any respectable Dwarf, he was considered ugly or unattractive. At your compliments, it was only normal for him to be in a state of disbelief. You were the first and only woman to take interest.

"It's nothing special", he finally murmured. "I just use a light oil after I wash my hair".

"You need to lend it to me sometime", you insisted with a grin, your eyes seeming to sparkle with mirth. "It works wonders on your hair. It's so beautiful". Kili felt his heartbeat increase, his tone falling quieter amidst his further disbelief.

"Do you think so?". In a sudden surge of confidence, you replied,

"I know so. You have the most gorgeous looking hair out of all the Dwarves in this Company". His eyes had blown wide, his lips parting in surprise. "It looks lovely pinned back", you added, finally binding his hair securely with his clasp. "Or left out". You shrugged. He grew confused when you shuffled in front of him. "But, I think I like your fringe the most. It frames your kind face without hiding it".

You were so close now, your (e/c) eyes trained on the delicate strands that made up his bangs. Your touch was featherlight and uncalloused, your face screwed in concentration. In your current focus, you didn't see the admiration and awe for you that shimmered in his gaze. Never had he gotten attention like this, even from a friend. Friend. He despised that word when his thoughts drifted to you. But, how could you possibly ever find him attractive?? His lack of facial hair and muscle was unmanly, even by human standards.

You were strangely beautiful to Kili. You weren't as tall or lithe as the Elves, nor as creamy-skinned or graceful. You had perfect little imperfections in your skin and freckles. Your hair had character, being curly. And you almost always wore your hair out of your face, the odd stray hair coming to frame it perfectly. And from the moment he sensed his feelings for you some weeks ago, Kili had felt his confidence decrease. He felt as if he had no chance with 12 other eligible Dwarves in the Company that could easily win you over with their toned bodies and lavish, braided hair.

The Princeling wasn't oblivious to how you often spent your time with Ori, looking through his books and learning how to knit the varying patterns he practiced. And despite how Ori was much younger than Kili, he had an attractive amount of body hair. He was nowhere near as confident as the Prince, nor as rehearsed in the prowess of battle. However, it didn't stop the envy that crept its way into his heart and mind. Looks had always mattered to everyone else before, so why would it be any different now?

When your cooler hands brushed over his face whilst you worked, it left burning tingles in his skin. You noted the perfect shaping of his eyebrows, running your thumbs over them to smooth any stray hairs. His features were strong, to be expected of a man in Dwarven culture. You swept loose pieces of his fringe from his cheeks, his stubble seductively rough beneath your skin.

Some part of you preferred Kili without a beard. All the hair that hung from the others was so extravagant, but you liked seeing more of his face. His cheeky smile was your favourite thing to see, even on a bad day. Perhaps a beard would hide that?

Raking his fringe up for slight volume, you found yourself taken by how ethereal he seemed. You questioned yourself on whether or not it was your lack of food and rest from the day, but you couldn't ignore the fondness that crept into your soul at being so close with him. A smile marked your face, setting the last strands of his dark locks aside.

"Beautiful", you'd murmured, a sense of accomplishment filling your heart. The warmth of his skin increased beneath your lingering fingertips, his hazel gaze playing over your softer features. To his greater surprise, there was only genuity in your expression. Not wanting you to retreat from him, Kili placed his heated callouses over your own, fighting the way his eyes slightly glazed over with tears.

"Thank you". He offered you one of those boyish smiles, taking comfort in the suppleness of your skin beneath his own. You caressed the stubble beneath your skin, grazing your thumb over the smoothness of his sharp cheekbone. Kili chuckled in amusement, "I look a bit more dignified now".

"Nonsense. Your hair looked fitting either way", you laughed softly, squeezing the warmer hands that held your own. "It's truly beautiful. Stubble and all". His dark brows had risen, wonder filling his kind gaze. You really didn't mind his lack of body hair??

"I always thought my stubble was– I thought it may have been unsightly", he confessed with the hints of a nervous smile, your brows creasing in light concern. "Beards are of high importance in my culture".

"Not in mine", you shrugged, slowly trailing your thumb over his dimples and slightly chapped lips. "Besides, how else would I be able to see that gorgeous smile?". The shy grin that slowly splayed onto his face at your words was the happiest one you'd ever seen on the Prince. Your words had dissolved any unsurities in his heart. "That's the one", you giggled, Kili trying and failing to restrain his smile.

"I think I like yours better", he murmured, sweeping one of your stray curls from your face. "It's the one I fell for, after all".

The small gap between you both closed, Kili's burning lips meeting yours in a gentle touch. It started off unsure and light, becoming almost fervent when your head tilted and lips parted to allow his tongue to slip past them. Using his hand resting along your jaw, he guided your head closer to his own, relishing in the need to be as close to you as possible. His stubble scratched the skin of your face pleasurably, a soft sigh exhaling through your nose.

The both of you separated, your lips swollen and tingling from the caresses and nibbles of his own. Kili's eyes finally fluttered open after a few moments, skimming your face with a soft tenderness. "Abnâmul", he whispered, running a heated digit over your tingling lips. "You'll have to let me do that more often".

"I'll have to think about it", you mused, squeezing the hand that cradled your face affectionately.

"Hopefully not too hard", Kili sighed in pretend dejection, tracing his thumb along your cheek. "I do really love you".

"I'm glad the feeling is mutual", you chuckled softly, pressing your lips to his with a playfulness. No longer burdened with his insecurities, Kili's laughter chased your own,

"Me too".

The End. . .

________________________________________

Hey, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed this fic! As always, any and all feedback is welcome!! If you wish to be a part of my taglist, check out my masterlist and let me know what you'd like to be tagged in! ❤❤❤

* * *

Translations;

Abnâmul = "beautiful", (Khuzdul)

__________________________________________

TAGLIST; @fizzyxcustard @lathalea @emrfangirl

[mothandpidgeon]

While the Baby Sleeps (demon!Ezra x f!reader)

pairing: demon!Ezra x f!reader (mom!reader)

rating: E! 18+!

wc: 2.6k

summary: The only way to get your baby to sleep through the night is making a deal with an unholy creature. But, of course, there are consequences...

tags: dark fic, Dub/non con (making a deal with a demon), breastfeeding, nursing, lactation kink, mommy kink? (but not like that), stretch marks, oral sex, unprotected p in v, overstimulation, horns, Ezra is a sex demon, moth never uses y/n

an: Here is my submission to #MothandBirdMothersDayChallenge! Actually this fic is the reason why I wanted to do this challenge. Sometimes when I'm in the dark nursery in the middle of the night, I have fun intrusive thoughts like 'What if there was a shadowy figure in the doorway?' To combat how terrifying that thought is, I took it and made it horny. Thank you @ezrasbirdie for betaing this, helping me do this Mother's Day Challenge, and all around being a cool auntie to my fics and baby Moth.

 ...

He wakes you every night. It doesn’t matter what you try. Your son hasn't let you have more than three consecutive hours of sleep since he was born. 

You’re at your wit’s end. 

Every time you look in the mirror you see a hollowed out version of yourself with dark bags under your eyes. You make yourself coffee without putting grounds into the filter. You fly into a tearful rage when you spill a bottle of precious milk. You don’t know who you are anymore. 

Tonight’s no different. You lift your crying baby from his crib. Rock him, shush him. You sit with him in the glider and try to nurse him back to sleep. It’s all done bleary-eyed, half asleep. Everything is these days. 

You’d give anything for this baby to sleep. 

Just as the thought crosses your mind, you look up to see a figure standing just outside the nursery. It’s shadowy against the dark of the hallway, shades of gray on black. From the height and broad shoulders, it could be a man. He stands abnormally still. Silent, watching. You think it’s just a trick of your sleep deprived mind until he moves just slightly and a patch of silver hair is caught in the moonlight. 

You must be dreaming because if there was a man in your baby’s room, you’d be terrified. And you’re not. You feel calm like you’re floating on steady waters. 

“Who are you?” you ask. Your voice drifts like a lullaby. 

He doesn’t respond, just leans in the doorway. All that you can make out is that blonde hair and two eyes that glint at you.

“I’ve come to help you, petal,” he finally says. His voice is warm and melodic.

You feel yourself nodding off for a moment. When you blink yourself awake, he’s by your side.

You can make out his features better now. Dark stubble covers a handsome face. The sharp angles of his nose and jaw are silhouetted in the dim. You smell woodsmoke and frankincense as he comes near. He kneels beside the chair and his brow furrows as he looks up at you.

“You need that child to rest,” he says. 

You nod pathetically. You can feel familiar tears well in your eyes. Hopeless, helpless. Desperate. 

“I can be of assistance,” he says. 

“Don’t hurt him,” you say, holding your son a bit closer to your chest.  Your baby might be torturing you in the night but you love him. You won’t let anything happen to him. Even though you’re sure you’re dreaming, you remember old fairy tales, creatures that try to trick and deceive. This man isn’t human, you know that somewhere deep inside you. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it. I won’t even touch him. It’s not the babe that’s piqued my interest. It’s his mother,” he explains. His obsidian eyes are on your lips, pink tongue darts out to lick his own. 

“Don’t hurt me either,” you say, though there’s no fight in your words. 

“That’s not my intention at all. Quite the opposite. You’re so beautiful, petal,” he coos, brushing his knuckles across your jawline. 

It must be a dream because you haven’t felt beautiful in a long time. Your body’s been stretched and broken, engorged and swollen. Your hair falls out by the handful. Your breasts reek of sweat and milk, a sickly funk. 

“I want you. Carnally,” he says.  

The growl in his voice makes warmth pool between your thighs. He looks at you like something divine, an awe over his features. His light touch moves down your neck and over your collarbone sending goosebumps over your skin. You’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel anything other than exhausted, touched in a way that isn’t a demand for food or comfort. 

“Let me have that and that boy will slumber like an angel,” he promises. He watches your baby suckling himself back to sleep.

It sounds so good. Suddenly the only thing you want more than a a night’s sleep is for this stranger to pleasure you, to be inside of you. You haven’t felt desire in just about as long as you haven’t slept. You’ve barely been able to shower and feed yourself let alone take care of your own needs.

“Put the child in his cot and go to bed. Tomorrow I’ll come for you and you’ll see,” he says.

“Who are you?” you ask again.

“I’m Ezra,” he whispers.

You wake up in your bed the next morning and you’ve slept like the dead.

That strange dream haunts you but you think of it as nothing more than that. When you put your son down to sleep the next night, you don’t expect any miracles. He goes down easily enough, a nice little fluke, and you decide to turn in early yourself. 

Its nearly midnight when you wake up but you realize it’s quiet. The baby isn’t crying for you. You glance at the monitor and see that he’s sleeping soundly, sucking away at this pacifier. Just as Ezra promised. 

Relief floods your veins. You put your head back against the pillow and your eyes drift close. As you begin to return to sleep, there’s a shift in the bed and you catch that earthy scent again. You gasp when you see Ezra’s black eyes. He’s beside you, the pad of his thumb tracing the plump of your lower lip. His chest is a wide golden plane littered with white scars, dusted with dark hairs. 

“Hush, petal,” he says. “I’ve kept my promise. And now I’ve come to ravish you.”

You want to tell him that you’re tired. You finally have the opportunity to go back to sleep and you shouldn’t let anything come between you and that sweet rest. But the same, strong want that you felt the night before is calling you. An ache runs between your legs up to where Ezra’s hand glides over the delicate skin on your pulse. You're powerless to stop your own desire from sabotaging the one thing you’ve wanted.

A languid sigh leaves you as you melt into his touch. 

Ezra sucks at your neck. You’ll have a black and blue mark from his teeth but the sensation is so delicious, you can’t bring yourself to care. 

He opens your legs and notches his hips between yours. The friction of his hard cock against your panties makes your back arch. 

“I want to taste you,” he says. 

He rucks up the ratty old t-shirt that you sleep in along with the nursing bra that’s constantly saturated with leaking milk. He takes a long moment to savor the sight of you so exposed, a smile twitching on his lips. A long, low growl leaves him as he slithers down your body, gathering your breasts in his big hands and bringing his face to nuzzle in your skin.

You hear him inhale deeply, taking in your scent. The stubble of his cheek scratches at your sensitive flesh. One thick finger circles your peaked nipple nice and slow. Your body responds— a bead of milk seeps out and rolls down to the valley between your breasts.

Your breath catches at the mix of sensations. Your cheeks heat and you can’t help the embarrassment that creeps up your spine. Much to your surprise, Ezra’s eyes widen with interest. He lowers himself and  traces the wet trail with the flat of his tongue. You can only imagine what he tastes– the musk of your sweat beneath sweet milk. It seems that he likes it. He closes his lips around your nipple and lavishes it with his tongue, groaning into your flesh. 

“Shit,” you gasp. 

You feel the tingle of letdown behind your breasts, his ministrations summoning more milk. Soon Ezra is drinking from you, grunting and rutting his hips against you. The other, neglected nipple weeps milk and he pauses to lap it up greedily. You tangle your hand into his hair and that’s when you feel it. There’s a raised bump amidst his curls but it’s hard as bone. It sits just above his forehead and stands only an inch high. As your fingers rake through his hair, you find another. Horns.

The terror you expect never comes. He might be something ungodly and all you feel is a building excitement. Everything about this is wrong but the world feels upside down. 

He comes away, his plush bottom lip glistening with pearlescent milk. It’s a sight that should repulse you but in the delirium of sleeplessness and lust, it just makes you hungry.

“You are an exquisite creature,” he purrs. 

His flat palm skates down your belly where you’re middle still holds baby weight, a reminder that your body is no longer your own. He peels your panties down your thighs. You feel the fine edges of his teeth against your skin. He penetrates you with two exquisitely thick fingers. No warning but you hardly need it— you’re already slick. 

You keen, back arching off of the mattress, and the sensation is doubled when he puts his lips to your clit and sucks with the same enthusiasm he had at your breast. His wide shoulders spread your knees to make room for his body. You drown in pleasure, a heady mixture of fire doused in the thick pool of sleepiness. Floating, sinking, cresting on a wave as he licks and spreads you open, presses in deep and coils you tight. It’s hard to believe your body can have such strong responses when you’re barely function in your waking life. Something primal drives you on and Ezra knows just how to unlock it. 

“Such a delicacy. To sup on milk and cunt,” he says, barely taking his lips from you. 

The swirls and undulations of his tongue and the sweet pressure inside works you into a frenzy. Your breath shortens and then stops altogether, your thighs tighten and you hold your eyes shut, listening to the whimpers and moans between your legs. It’s too much and not enough. 

When you come undone, it’s a rush of ecstasy that you want to live in forever. Rolling and gushing and sighing. You choke and arch, your entire body convulsing. Your spine clenches up like you’ve been struck by lighting and the electricity runs out through your fingertips and toes. 

“Such a glorious vision,” he muses as you come down, panting and shivering. 

Ezra’s eyes are fixated on you, pupils blown so wide they’re nearly black. He looks like he wants to devour you. 

You share his hunger. You want more already. You’ve just had a feast and yet you’re starving again. 

You see Ezra’s cock now for the first time. Thick and upright, it’s tip, flushed and red. He takes it in his fist, glazing his shaft in your release. There’s something animalistic about it that floods you with another wave of arousal. 

“More,” you manage to say. 

“Not too tired?” he teases with a wicked smile. 

You shake your head. How can you sleep when your body is on fire with lust?

“I’ll fill each needy hole,” he says. 

You whine. He lines himself at your entrance. 

“You’re a goddess. And I’m going to defile you.”

You're filled to the hilt. The noise that escapes him is animalistic and his eyes lose focus. You’re already fluttering around him, already so close to another climax. He fucks you, the stretch and rhythm making you dizzy. 

“This is the closest I’ll get to heaven, I fear,” he revels. “But what could be more divine than this sweet cunt?”

Each word that falls from his lips seems to stroke at your core. His hips drive into you, hands greedily paw at every soft part of your body. 

The only thing that quiets his debauched ramblings is suckling at your breast. Your senses are completely overwhelmed. Tears prick in your eyes as your insides tighten, another orgasm shattering through you. You bite down on his shoulder to keep yourself quiet. 

“Let me hear,” he demands. “He won’t wake.”

And so you do, crying out as you clench around his thickness, losing all control of your body. 

“That’s it, petal. That’s it,” he says. 

He goes on thrusting and pins you down, torturing that exquisite spot deep inside of you over and over again. You’re not sure where one climax ends and another begins but you’re possessed. 

“If only I could fill that womb, sire one after the other to keep you round,” he grunts. 

Ezra swears. He hisses out words in a language you don’t recognize. It sounds like an incantation. 

You hardly have time to make sense of it. He’s pulling out of you, grinding his wet length against your thigh and spilling hot ropes onto your mound. 

You lay beneath him, boneless and dazed. The exhaustion flushes over your weak body. You sense Ezra at your breast again as your eyes drift closed. 

The next thing you know, your baby is crying and it’s morning. 

It must be a dream. There’s no other way to explain it— a horned creature slipping in and out of your bedroom in the middle of the night, fucking you senseless when you have no energy left. But you wake up with come drying where he marked you. 

That night, he’s back again. 

And again after that. 

“Ezra, I’m exhausted," you breathe. "Please.”

“Isn’t this what you wanted, petal?”

Now your son sleeps soundly through the night while you are awake, debauched for hours without end. 

He’s insatiable and somehow you are, too. 

He fucks you until you’re raw. Your legs quiver and burn from being parted so wide. Your pussy feels battered and bruised. You beg him to fuck your ass just to give your cunt some rest. 

And although your body feels like it can’t take another second of pleasure, though it begs for a moment’s peace, every time he comes to you, you’re flooded with arousal. 

When you try to steal an afternoon nap, he’s there, cock already standing in his fist. 

Spittle dribbles from the corners of your lips as he fucks your mouth. It runs down your chest, your knees already bruised from the hours you’ve spent on them. You try to chase your own relief, grinding your hips against the floor. He pulls you by the ears to sink deeper down your throat. 

He grunts and moans and howls as he comes between your lips. 

He doesn’t always take. 

The next time he makes you come four times. 

“Again, again,” he chants into your ear. His words are hot breath as his fingers press inside of you overwhelming that ridge that sends you reeling. Your bodies are pressed together, sticky with perspiration and release and drool and milk. 

“I can’t,” you sob, your body sore and stretched to its limit. 

You’re so spent, so overstimulated, each orgasm takes more and more effort. But Ezra refuses to quit, punishing you until you reach a fearsome crescendo. 

“Oh, my petal, but I know you are more than capable.”

He’s right. You can feel the weak muscles in your core begin to twist. You hold your breath and focus on the brutal sensations Ezra gives you. 

“Besides, your ability is immaterial,” he goes on. “These were the terms of our deal. This cunt. Is. Mine.”

Despite the fact that you’re so exhausted you can barely remember your own name, hardly able to stand on your own two feel, the climax that hits you is just as monumental as the very first. 

“Have you endured enough tonight, petal?” he asks, sucking the gush of slick off of his fingers. 

“Please,” you whimper. “Please.”

You’re not sure if you’re begging him to stop or to keep going. 

“Tomorrow, petal,” he promises. “Now get some rest.”

He wakes you. Every night. 

...

Comments and reblogs are appreciated! My asks are always open and I don't bite (unless you're into that).

[reinedeslys-central]

"Leo, not to offend you or anything, but I can't see shit."

Leo scoffed. "Wow, must be pretty bad if you, of all people, are swearing. Hey, maybe it's because -" quick as a minx, he shot his hand out and -

"Wha- hey!"

-stole the glasses out of Jason's hands. Which is. Something you never do to people with glasses, seriously, Leo? Glasses are literally everything to people who need them?

"- your glasses are dirty as hell, bless your heart. Let me get that for you." Leo continued, unfazed by Jason's yelp and raised eyebrow at Leo, of all people, cleaning.

But as Leo's perpetually grease-stained fingers gently prodded and turned his glasses, Jason found himself wondering if that was maybe unfair of him.

Calloused, nimble hands danced over the wire frames, before pulling a microfibre cloth (and how surprising was that) out of yet another pocket to erase each smudge with care that not even Jason gave his glasses.

They were lying close enough that Jason could see Leo's hunched shoulder and furrowed brow, the sliver of petal-pink tongue poking through the corner of his mouth as he gave Jason's old, tarnished wire glasses the same attention he'd give any of his newest machines. He was close enough to touch the stray curl that fell across Leo's forehead, that he kept blowing away. Close enough to smell that old smell, of syrup-sweet grease and woodsmoke and water. Close enough to hear Leo's pleased little hum as he inspected the frame a final time before straightening and raising his hands to park them right back on Jason's face.

"Better?" He whispered, and Jason didn't reply. He couldn't.

The stars really were beautiful.

"What did you do to these?" He said, finally. "I've never seen this clearly before. Maybe on new-glasses days, but.."

Leo grinned. Jason looked away.

Time and space might have a shot at diluting that burning of his. There was a reason no one went blind watching the stars. But Jason would never be far enough to escape that smile. Like the stars, like the galaxies above, it was about as inevitable as a supernova.

Leo leaned over. "That's the thing, darlin' -" — and Jason's chest went thump — "I've got it all. Perks of being the one-and-only super-sized McShizzle."

Gods. Maybe Nico was right when he said there was clearly no accounting for taste.

He cleared his throat. "Well, thanks anyway. Just.. give me a little warning next time. I could've decked you for stealing my glasses, y'know."

Leo only laughed and leaned back against their blanket. The light from the waning moon fell across him, highlighting his nosebridge, his half-lidded eyes, the spot where his jeans hitched around his knees in his artless sprawl.

Jason let out a shaky breath, and copied him, reclining to give himself a better chance at drinking in the sky.

The stars were beautiful. That much anyone could admit.

..Leo was the most beautiful of them all.

outtake from 'burning like a glowing star', this new valgrace fic I'm writing. (yes, yes I am borrowing vibes from xdinary heroes. the song is called pluto and you should absolutely listen to it).

more stuff: Writing Directory

[legendary-pink-dot]

Hinterland

Pairing: Francisco "Catfish" Morales x female reader

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Unprotected PiV and half-asleep sex, established relationship

Word Count: 600 on the dot

Summary: Camping with Frankie, and why 3am half-asleep sex in a backcountry tent is superior.

Notes: A little scene inspired by @trulybetty's gorgeous little fic "Campfire" and the discussion it inspired with @goodwithcheese via reblogs about the joys of camping with Frankie. (Are you still not convinced?!) I'm an Outdoors Girl, so this would be my dream.

Stillness at 3am in the backcountry is primal. Nocturnal creatures have finished their hunts, but it's too early for birdsong. Even the insects have stopped clicking and chattering.

The air around your tent is quiet. Heavy. It's echoed in the way Frankie softly grinds against you from behind, his hard cock teasing your entrance. He doesn't have to ask if you like it; all his half-conscious brain has to do is track the pace of your breath, register the slight hitch in your hips that begs for more.

His calloused fingers, wisps of woodsmoke still clinging to them from the campfire, automatically travel down from your stomach to lazily circle your clit. He's too lost in his half-lidded dreams to be intentional with his movements, but it sparks your fire all the same, until you're wide awake.

Being with Frankie in these early morning moments, when he's half asleep and acting purely on instinct, is your favorite thing in the world. When you're at home spread across your luxurious bed and not inside this pitch-black tent at 3am, he's controlled, so focused on your pleasure instead of his own, a people-pleaser to the point of fault sometimes. But not now. He can have whatever he wants.

Frankie's cock finally slides into you. His breathing is soft and even against the back of your neck, and you reach back to twine your fingers gently through his hair. After a minute or two to adjust -- he's always so thick inside you, especially in this spooned position -- you start to clench around his length, matching the rhythm of his breaths as they slowly pick up speed.

Lazy and languid gradually turn visceral as his hips instinctively move faster, his thrusts hard enough to hit and drag across nerves deep inside you, but without the force behind them he can give when he's conscious and you're loudly begging more, harder Frankie, please fuck me, I want to feel all of you.

Little drops of condensation bead on the inner nylon of the tent, rolling lightly down the walls.

His fingers dig into your hip to push and pull you over his cock. His hand has given up doing anything to your clit, but that doesn't matter. You can take over. It won't take much anyway.

His breath catches repeatedly, forming grunts and groans that echo loud inside the tent. You know he's close, even though he's still not fully awake.

Your hips are moving faster now to pull him in and drag him out, just far enough to brush the nerves around your entrance with each slide. Your hand draws familiar and practiced circles on your clit, bringing you to the edge and drawing soft whimpers from your mouth. Not too loud; you don't want to wake him.

You press your palm against your clit at just the right spot and you come with a whimper, squeezing down on Frankie's cock just as he presses deep with a groan and spurts, his cock pulsing and twitching inside you, deliciously filling you up as you ride out your orgasm.

He never really woke up, and you can tell by his breathing pattern that he's already drifting back into deep sleep.

As you start to doze off yourself, his softening cock still inside and his arm wrapped around your chest, the forest outside the tent gently starts to wake. You cling to each other like it's the final moments of a delicious dream that will be gone forever once the sun rises.

In a few hours, you'll wake up exactly like that.

[sprout-fics]

Woodsmoke Masterlist

(Joel Miller x Reader x Joe 'Bear' Graves)

Summary:

Joel feels like the forest. Enigmatic, mysterious, blotting out hazy light in the canopy of his form. He surrounds you, shields you from the bitter wind, holds you within his protection with a rustle of branches, a whisper of leaves.

"Stay. I've got you. I'll keep you safe. Don't think I won't."

Bear is the smoke from a bonfire. The maple, sweet scent of him chases across your senses, has you lifting your face towards him, in search of the source. His smile is warm from the flames, chases away the chill of memory that lingers in your bones.

"Take your time. I won't come closer unless you want me to. I'll stay right here until you're ready."

Between them there's you, the flame to set it all ablaze in burning, resplendent desire.

Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

More coming soon!

Fic tag: Woodsmoke

(Read on AO3)

Taglist:

(Please reblog the latest chapter to be added to the taglist)

@yeyinde @alittlefansthings @joebeargraves @moriflos @aeoncss @havenforafrazzledmind @littlemisspascal @zwiiicnziiix

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hello, I've been searching for a fic for a couple days and I'm unsure if it was deleted or if I just can't find it.

It's a Sterek fic set in like medieval fantasy world. Stiles is a dragon and tags along with (I believe) werewolf!Derek, but Derek hates dragons so Stiles doesn't tell him.

I think Stiles is like a Bard or something and I think there was a scene where they're in like a tavern or something and he plays his instrument.

Thank you for your time, if you're able to find it, I would love the help!

Hi anon! @midnightwinterhawk says it's this one.

Tell Who You Are in the Night by Giveemhale, wanderingeyre

(2/2 I 30,488 I Explicit I Sterek)

He’s tall, as tall as Derek is, but where Derek’s shoulders are wide, this man is lean strength. Stiles rests his cittern against the corner, gives a jaunty wave to the room, and begins walking in Derek’s direction.

Derek stops looking and buries his face in his pint glass, willing the other man to go away.

Stiles hesitates near the empty chair. “Mind if I join you?”

“Yes,” Derek growls and wishes he could flash his red alpha eyes at this stranger to make him leave. 

Looking from afar was one thing. Up close, Stiles’s eyes look like whiskey in firelight and he smells like citrus and woodsmoke. Derek’s wolf is going crazy inside him and he pushes down his reaction to this man. There’s something else, something other, but there are plenty of people who have residual magic of shifters in their family. It leaves a trace, but is often indistinct.

Stiles grins, pulls out the chair, and sits down. “Great.”

[cera-writes]

Hello darling!

I recently just lost my cat I've had since kindergarten. She was 24 and very very precious to me.

Could you possibly write a little thing with Kurt comforting a gender neutral reader during a loss? I think he'd be the sweetest at comforting someone though grief.

If its too much of a touchy subject I understand.

Thank you dear!

🤍

A/N: Oh, I'm so sorry Anon! Sending all the good vibes your way. I hope this fic helps ease the ache a little <3 Tags: hurt/comfort, loss, grief

Rain lashed against the windowpane, a relentless rhythm mimicking the dull ache in your chest. Huddled on the threadbare couch, knees pulled tight, you were swallowed by a suffocating silence. A gentle knock on the door startled you, a jolt that sent a fresh wave of tears pricking your eyes.

The door creaked open, revealing Kurt. He donned a plain white shirt with a red jacket and jeans, a stark contrast to his usual uniform. His hair, damp from the rain, was pushed back from his face, softening his demeanor. His golden eyes held a gentle concern that tugged at your heartstrings.

"Hey there, Freund," he said softly, his voice a low rumble that soothed the storm brewing inside you. "Can I come in?"

You mustered a weak nod, and he moved into the room, his boots thudding softly on the floorboards. He didn't sit right away, instead hovering near you, a beacon of quiet strength in the storm of your emotions.

His presence filled the space, not with the usual rough-and-tumble Kurt energy, but with a surprising tenderness. It was as if he understood, without a single word being spoken, the depth of your grief.

"Here," he murmured, his voice so gentle it made your breath hitch. He held out a welcoming hand, the warmth of it beckoning. You reached out hesitantly, and your fingers brushed against his. It was a simple touch, yet it spoke volumes.

With a gentle pull, Kurt drew you close, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. He pulled you not into a rough embrace, but into a comforting hug, his strength offering a sense of security. The scent of woodsmoke, fresh rain, and a hint of brimstone drifted from him, grounding you in the present moment.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, the comforting scent of him a welcome change from the sterile scent of grief. His heartbeat, a steady drum against your ear, echoed a rhythm of strength and solace.

For a time, there were no words, just the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the comforting press of his arm. He let you cry, his silence a balm to your raw emotions. There were no empty platitudes, no forced cheer. He simply held you, a silent anchor in the storm.

Finally, when the sobs subsided into sniffles, he spoke, his voice a low rumble against your ear.

"This isn't fair," he said, his voice laced with a quiet understanding. "It's okay to feel this way." His words were simple, but they held a profound weight. He wasn't trying to fix things; he was simply acknowledging the pain.

He paused, a hand finding yours, his fingers lacing with yours. His touch was surprisingly comforting, a gesture of deep empathy. "You know, Schatz," he continued, his voice dropping to a tender whisper, "we'll get through this together, one step at a time."

Tears welled up again, but this time, they were tinged with a spark of hope. You leaned further into him, the warmth of his embrace and the quiet strength in his voice a soothing balm. In the face of the storm, Kurt's unwavering support was a lifeline. You weren't alone. With him holding you close, the storm inside you began to subside, replaced by a dull ache and a sliver of peace. You knew the grief wouldn't vanish overnight, but for now, Kurt's presence and his gentle words were all you needed.

[bieachella]

Wants and Needs | dbf! joel miller x reader (pt. 1)

summary: your family and friends are at a cabin celebrating your parents anniversary and u and joel get comfy together 🥰

rating: 15+ they’re just flirting here

warnings: (for the entire fic) age difference (reader is highschool graduate so take that as it is, joel is in his 40s) f!reader, dirty talk, fingering, oral sex (both receiving), pet names, praise, slow burn?? kinda idk, dbf!joel, alcohol use, fluff, unprotected p in v sex, breeding, this will be filthy trust me

a/n: ive never written fanfic in my life but dbf joel is plaguing my brain so buckle up

“Still open?” Joel jokes as he slides his empty whiskey glass toward you. You had been playing bartender behind the small, wooden bar in the center of your parent's get-away cabin.

It had been your parents’ 15th wedding anniversary, which called for inviting family, extended family, and close friends, all to the large, chateau-like cabin your parents rented on occasion.

You smile at Joel and take his glass, nodding your head. "Always open," you reply. Joel chuckles and leans back in his chair, surveying the room.

It's a cozy space, with a large stone fireplace dominating one wall and comfortable seating arranged in small groupings around the room. Soft lighting from wall sconces and table lamps gives the space a warm glow, and the scent of pine needles and woodsmoke wafts in from the crackling fire.

You turn your attention back to the bar, starting to refill Joel's glass with a generous pour of whiskey. As you work, you can't help but notice Joel’s skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat despite the cool air conditioning of the bar. It sent a warm feeling to the pit of your stomach, and you brushed it off as a passing thought. You fixed your eyes on the liquid pouring out of the spout, and he couldn't help but smile at your efforts to make his drink neat and precise.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” You felt your cheeks flush at the pet name as you slid the glass back over to him.

Joel took a sip of his drink, letting out a content sigh as the alcohol warmed him from the inside. He turned to you with a small smile playing at the corner of his lips.

God, he made you feel like your lungs would collapse at any moment. You suddenly realized you had been staring at him for what would soon look like not innocent.

You quickly averted your gaze and cleared your throat, trying to hide your embarrassment. “So, um, you having fun?” you asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from your momentary lapse in composure.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Joel.

“Are you having fun?” he repeated with a playful smirk. Again, you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks heat up at his teasing tone.

You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself before responding. “I am, actually,” you said, smiling back at him.

Joel nodded with a half-joking, impressed look on his face. You giggled a little and you gazed around the room, trying to find something else to talk about. You decided to stay quiet, looking at all your drunk relatives you didn’t recognize but had supposedly known you since you were little.

“Why don’t you get back out there with your kind, Joel,” jerking your head towards the group of people.

Joel chuckled at your comment and shook his head. “Nah, I’m good right here sweetheart. Plus, wouldn’t want’cha to get lonely.”

You felt that pit in your stomach again, getting butterflies at the thought of Joel not wanting to leave you alone.

You tried to play it cool, but your heart was racing. You had been crushing on Joel for as long as you can remember, but you never thought he felt the same way. It was understandable, considering he was your dads closest friend. Revealing any romantic involvement between his best friend and his only daughter, something he took immense pride in, would shatter him.

“Well I’m glad you’re comfortable here,” you said, trying to act nonchalant. “But my feet are killing me,” you added, wiping the bar down before stepping out from behind it and heading towards the couch. “Join me?” you asked, flashing him a toothy grin

Joel smiled back at you, his eyes twinkling. "You got it, babe" he said, following you over to the couch.

As you both settled down, you couldn't help but feel the warmth radiating from his body. You tried to keep your distance, not wanting to give away how much you wanted to be close to him. But it was hard, especially when he leaned back against the couch and stretched his arms out, accidentally brushing against your shoulder.

You felt your heart skip a beat as Joel's touch sent shivers down your spine. You tried to play it cool, but your cheeks were turning pink as you leaned slightly closer to him. Joel seemed to notice and he shifted slightly, his arm now resting on the back of the couch behind you.

You sat with your knees pressed up against your chest, stealing glances at Joel every now and then. He was so handsome, his dark hair, sprinkled with grey at the sides, and his salt and pepper beard, and his dark eyes, and the way he listened so intensely when you spoke to him, you couldn't help but feel a sense of ease around him that you hadn’t felt with anyone else.

[missdirection26]

Joel Millers hair was going to be the death of you (Chapter Two)

Summary: After the kiss at the dance, you wonder if anything else would come of it

Word count: 2.5k

Rating: Mature (just for swearing and drinking)

Tags: Jackson!Joel, Fluff, Angst with a happy ending, Romance, First Date

Chapter Two (Chapter One - here)

Also, finished this chapter as I wanted to join in @justagalwhowrites Joel Birthday Celebration, and this is a cutesy Jackson Joel with Friends to Lovers fic. I just want the old man to be happy and content, living out his life in Jackson with his family!

A few days had passed since the Winter Dance, but the memory of Joel’s kiss had haunted you every night. His scent—whiskey and woodsmoke—seemed to cling to your skin long after you'd parted ways. You hadn’t seen him since that night, and despite telling yourself you needed to move on, the yearning gnawed at you. Something had shifted between the two of you, and no amount of distilling could take your mind off it.

You were busy now, though. With the dance over, your operation had scaled back to a more manageable pace, and you were grateful to get back to some semblance of normalcy. Still, you couldn’t help but glance toward the door of your makeshift distillery every time you heard footsteps. Part of you knew it was irrational to expect him to just show up—but deep down, you wanted him to. The idea of Joel standing in your doorway again, maybe with that same look in his eyes from the dance, made your chest ache.

It was nearing dusk when there was a knock at the door. For a second, you hesitated, but before you could convince yourself it was someone else, you swung it open.

And there he was. Joel stood on your threshold, hands in his pockets, looking as if he’d been debating whether or not to knock for a while.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low, rough.

“Hey yourself.” You stepped back, opening the door wider. “Come in.”

Joel hesitated for only a moment before stepping inside. His eyes scanned the distillery, the barrels lined up against the wall, the equipment you’d scavenged over the years. It wasn’t much, but it was yours, and it kept Jackson in good spirits - literally. He seemed to take it all in before his gaze landed back on you.

“I brought you somethin’,” he said, pulling a hand from his pocket. He held out a small wooden carving - a bird this time, wings spread wide as if in mid-flight. You smiled as you took it, turning it over in your hands.

“You spoil me, Miller,” you said, brushing your fingers over the finely carved details. “What’s the occasion?”

Joel’s eyes flickered toward the floor, then back up at you. He seemed to wrestle with his words, and for a moment, the two of you stood in the quiet hum of the distillery.

“Wanted to talk about the other night,” he finally said, his voice steady but cautious. “About… what happened.”

You swallowed, suddenly feeling a knot form in your throat. It wasn’t regret you felt- definitely not. But the uncertainty, the vulnerability that had come with that kiss, it all came rushing back. You hadn’t thought too much beyond the moment itself, hadn’t let yourself consider what it meant. Now, standing here in the soft glow of the distillery’s lights, you realised you couldn’t avoid it any longer.

“Joel…” you started, unsure where to begin. “That night - it was…” You trailed off, not wanting to call it a mistake, but unsure of how to describe it otherwise.

Joel stepped closer, his presence filling the space between you. His eyes softened as he looked at you, like he could see right through the walls you’d spent years building.

“I’m not good at this,” he admitted, his voice a low rasp. “I don’t… I don’t have the right words, but I didn’t want to leave it hangin’ in the air. I ain’t blind - I know we’ve been dancin’ around somethin’ for a while now. And I need to know… if that’s what you want, too.”

You blinked, caught off guard by his directness. For years, you’d thought Joel kept his distance, that he wasn’t interested in anything beyond the whiskey you traded and the occasional conversation. But here he was, laying it out in front of you like a hand of cards, waiting to see if you’d fold or match his bet.

“I don’t know,” you said honestly, your voice barely a whisper. “I didn’t think you… I didn’t think you wanted that kind of thing.”

He chuckled softly, a sound that rumbled low in his chest. “I didn’t think I did either. But with you…” His words trailed off as he took another step closer, his hand reaching up, almost instinctively, to brush a stray hair from your face. His touch was gentle, and it sent a shiver down your spine. “With you, I’m thinkin’ maybe I do.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, and for a long moment, you couldn’t find the words to respond. This was Joel - gruff, hard-edged Joel - standing in your distillery and telling you he wanted more. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

“I didn’t think I could do this again,” you admitted, surprising yourself with the confession. “After Talia, I just… I didn’t think I had it in me.”

Joel’s expression softened, and he took another step forward, until there was barely any space left between the two of you. “I get it,” he murmured. “I thought I’d lost that part of me, too. But you… you’ve been gettin’ under my skin for years now. Maybe it’s time we stop fightin’ it.”

You couldn’t help but let out a short, breathless laugh. “You make it sound so easy.”

His lips twitched into the faintest smile. “Ain’t nothin’ about this easy. But we’ve both survived worse, haven’t we?”

The air between you felt charged, like one wrong move could send the whole thing crashing down. But as Joel stood there, his hand still brushing against your cheek, you realised you didn’t want to back away from this. Not anymore.

“Yeah,” you said quietly, leaning into his touch. “We have.”

For a long moment, neither of you spoke. And then, as if drawn by some invisible force, Joel’s lips found yours again. This kiss wasn’t hesitant like the last - it was certain, slow, like the two of you had all the time in the world. His hand cupped the back of your neck, pulling you closer, and you melted into him, feeling the warmth of his body seep into yours.

When you finally pulled back, breathless, Joel rested his forehead against yours. “We can take this slow,” he murmured. “Figure it out as we go.”

You nodded, feeling something uncoil in your chest - something that had been wound tight for far too long.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I think I’d like that.”

And for the first time in years, you allowed yourself to feel hopeful.

–

The next few days after your conversation with Joel felt like a dream, a slow, simmering anticipation building in the quiet moments when you were alone. You didn’t know what to expect - Joel Miller wasn’t exactly the “romantic” type. Still, when he suggested you go on a “proper date” after his patrol, you had to suppress the giddy smile threatening to creep across your face. He told you to meet him by the grain store barn at sunset, and though he didn’t say much more, the subtle warmth in his eyes was enough to send your mind racing.

As the day drew closer, you tried not to think too much about it. You told yourself to keep it simple. After all, this was Joel - gruff, practical, no-nonsense Joel. It wasn’t going to be anything elaborate, and that was fine with you. But still, you found yourself lingering a little longer in front of the mirror, brushing your hair with more care than usual.

You made your way to the barn just as the sun began to sink below the horizon, casting the town of Jackson in soft shades of amber and pink. Your heart thrummed in your chest as you neared the building, half-expecting to find Joel leaning against the fence, all casual and unbothered like he usually was. But when you rounded the corner, you saw something entirely different.

Joel was there, all right, but he wasn’t just waiting. He’d set up a small table just outside the barn, far enough from the bustle of town that you’d have privacy, but close enough that the soft sounds of life still carried on the breeze. On the table sat two mismatched plates and a couple of candles - an attempt at elegance despite the rough surroundings. Next to the table was a small firepit he must have made earlier, its flames flickering gently in the dusk.

You blinked, completely taken aback. This was... more effort than you had expected. A lot more.

Joel stood there, rubbing the back of his neck the way he always did when he was nervous. When he saw your expression, he gave you a lopsided, slightly sheepish smile. “It ain’t much,” he said, his voice quieter than usual. “But I figured we deserved somethin’... nice.”

You couldn’t stop the grin that spread across your face. “Joel, this is... this is more than nice. It’s perfect.”

He let out a breath he must’ve been holding, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “Good. I wasn’t sure if you were the candlelight kinda girl.”

You chuckled softly, stepping closer to the table. “Normally, I’m not, but for you? I can make an exception.”

The fire crackled softly in the background as Joel pulled out the chair for you, his hand brushing yours as you sat down. There was a tension in the air - not the kind of tension you’d felt all those years when you were tiptoeing around each other, but something softer, more promising.

Joel sat across from you, and the two of you shared a comfortable silence for a moment, the warmth of the fire keeping the evening chill at bay. The flickering light cast soft shadows on Joel’s face, and you found yourself staring at him longer than you intended, memorising every detail - the lines etched into his skin, the silver threading through his sparse beard, the way his hair curled just above his ears (he still hadn’t cut it, thank whatever deity may be out there). He looked more at ease than you’d ever seen him, and that alone was enough to make your chest tighten.

After a moment, Joel reached into a small cooler at his feet and pulled out two bottles of beer - your beer. He handed you one with a grin. “Figured it’s only right, seein’ as you’re the expert.”

You laughed, accepting the bottle and taking a long sip. “You know how to charm a girl.”

Joel gave a low chuckle, taking a drink from his own bottle. “Wasn’t sure what to cook,” he said, nodding toward a small pot hanging over the fire. “But Ellie swore up and down I couldn’t screw up stew. So… stew it is.”

The mention of Ellie made you smile. You knew how much she meant to him - how the work he did around Jackson was always to keep her safe. The fact that he’d even mentioned this “date” to her was surprising, but it made you feel a little more grounded in whatever this thing between you was becoming.

“I’m sure it’s great,” you said, leaning back in your chair, feeling the warmth of the fire seep into your skin. “I’m not too picky. Anything cooked over a fire tastes better anyway.”

Joel gave a quiet hum of agreement, stirring the pot with slow, careful movements. He looked content, peaceful in a way that seemed foreign to both of you. You hadn’t seen Joel like this before - not so open, so relaxed. And you liked it.

As the stew simmered and the conversation flowed, you found yourselves slipping into the same comfortable banter that had always been there between you. Joel teased you about the time you accidentally mixed up batches of whiskey and moonshine, and you shot back about his less-than-graceful attempts at fixing the leaky roof on the distillery. It felt easy, natural, like nothing had really changed, even though everything had.

When the stew was ready, Joel served you both, and the two of you ate in the firelight, the sound of the wind rustling through the trees. It was simple, but perfect, exactly what you both needed after years of surviving and making do with whatever scraps of happiness you could find.

After the meal, you leaned back in your chair, staring up at the night sky, the stars just beginning to blink into existence. Joel was quiet beside you, but you could feel the weight of his gaze on you, the intensity of it making your skin warm.

“What’re you thinking about?” you asked, glancing over at him.

Joel hesitated for a moment, then shook his head with a soft, almost embarrassed smile. “Just thinkin’ ‘bout how long I’ve been fightin’ this.”

“Fighting what?”

He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees, his eyes still fixed on you. “This,” he said, gesturing between the two of you. “You. For years, I told myself I wasn’t ready. That I couldn’t… let anyone in again. But now… now I’m wonderin’ why the hell I waited so long.”

His words settled over you like a blanket, warm and comforting. You’d felt the same way - terrified of opening yourself up, of letting anyone get too close. But here you were, with Joel, on what was undoubtedly the best date you’d had in years. Hell, maybe the best date you’d ever had.

You smiled, reaching across the small table to take his hand in yours. “Maybe we just needed time,” you said softly, your thumb tracing circles on the back of his hand. “We both had a lot of walls to break down.”

Joel’s fingers tightened around yours, his grip firm but gentle. He didn’t say anything for a long moment, but when he finally looked up at you, there was something different in his eyes - something deeper, more vulnerable than you’d ever seen before.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Maybe you’re right.”

You stayed like that for a while, sitting in the quiet, your hands intertwined. It was enough. For the first time in a long time, you weren’t worried about what came next. You weren’t thinking about tomorrow, or the dangers that lurked just beyond the safety of Jackson. All that mattered was the here and now—the firelight, the stars, and the man sitting across from you, his hand warm in yours.

As the night wore on, the fire began to die down, the embers glowing faintly in the dark. Joel stood, offering you his hand to help you up, and when you took it, he didn’t let go. Instead, he pulled you close, his arms wrapping around you in a way that felt both protective and tender.

“You wanna walk me home, cowboy?” you teased, looking up at him with a grin.

Joel chuckled, shaking his head. “You know damn well I’m gonna, my mama would turn in her grave if I let a lady walk home alone.”

And with that, the two of you set off into the night, walking side by side.

[cuubism]

For the WIP game--obviously I want to know about all of them, but if I have to pick one, tell us about the fight in the Dreaming against logic? ❤️❤️❤️

A fic where I was like wow, wouldn't it be cool to write a battle against a concept? and then belatedly realized how hard that would be to execute 😂 I hope to work on it more eventually, but this was the opening.

--

Logic.

It wasn’t Dream’s strong suit, and didn’t Hob fucking know it. If it was, perhaps the fragile, lovable twit wouldn’t have run off on him whenever Hob tried to be his friend.

But he’d come to understand, over time. It just wasn’t how Dream worked. You couldn’t demand logic from your dreams.

Linearity.

This, too, Dream struggled with. Linearity of time, the cause and effect of experience. Dream thought about things in a scattered cloud of images Hob could barely begin to visualize. He experienced so many things at once, fast and slow, unbounded from the regular turning of the earth. Another thing Hob had had to make peace with, that Dream’s devotion was more like the coming of storms than the coming of night, was like the coming of dreams: one could not predict when they would strike, but strike they would, inevitably.

In the waking, Dream always seemed like he didn’t quite belong. In the Dreaming, though, he was beautiful. God, he was gorgeous. Hob had to experience him his way, in scattered images and illogical collisions of moments, and he always woke after feeling like he’d lived several possible lifetimes in the span of an hour, only they were all real, they had all happened. And Dream, in the Dreaming, he was— he was hands ghosting on skin, and whispered poetry, a faint memory of walking along a beach, hands entangled and feet parting timeless waters; starry eyes, and past meetings turned over and over in a hundred configurations, ending in a hug, a kiss, a caress, a tumble into bed, Dream was—

He was walking away from Hob?

“—you lot only do it ‘coz you’re stupid—” Hob was saying, tankard of ale halfway to his lips and sloshing onto his hand. From across the room those discerning, starry eyes turned his way, and then passed him by, skated over him like he was a paltry annoyance at best, and Hob, not knowing why— he should want more? should have more? surely?— froze, and Ben clapped him hard on the back, spilling more of his ale.

“There’s our Hobsie, always on about something or other.” The group laughed, but fondly. “Careful or you’ll find yourself like that there fellow, nought but spinning strange yarns in a tavern all yer life.”

Wait, Hob thought, though there was no one there to direct it to, come back?

He felt like he’d stepped off the hidden edge of a riverbank. Something— something was missing, wasn’t it?

“Oi,” said Colm, “Hobs! You among the living or chasing ghosts?”

Ghosts, Hob thought, wildly. Then, bereft, turned his attention back to them, but something was wrong, something was missing under his ribcage.

“I for one hope you cheat Death, Hob,” said Thomas, clinking his tankard against Hob’s in a toast. “God be with ye, I say. I ‘spec we’ll be meetin’ in the hereafter, though. Hopefully the good one!”

“I’ll drink to that,” said Colm, and raised his ale.

Hob kept staring off into the darkness of the tavern, unsettled. Then, possessed by mad impulse, he jumped to his feet and ran towards the door, ignoring his mates’ cries behind him.

Outside, the crisp evening air greeted him, but nothing else. What, or who, was he expecting to be there? He paused in the alley, breathing the river-mud scent and woodsmoke from the inn.

He was chasing phantoms.

A pain struck him deep in the chest, ghostly loss. The stars above taunted him. He sank to the ground, wrapping his arms around his knees.

“Where,” he said, though he didn’t know who he was talking to, “Where are you?”

A hand grasped his.

The world turned inside out, his stomach lurching, and then he was in Dream’s bedroom in the palace of the Dreaming, wavering by the bed with Dream holding onto him.

Dream. Dream. Thank God.

“Dream,” Hob said. “Oh, love. What the hell was that? It was like a terrible nightmare.”

I lost you, he thought. And I didn’t know it.

“There is,” said Dream, breath heavy like he was having trouble speaking, “a plague. In the Dreaming.”

Hob turned to look at him. Dream’s face was sallow, his hair lank, he trembled in Hob’s arms. Hob clutched him tighter.

“A plague? What kind of plague?”

“Logic,” said Dream, and passed out cold in Hob’s arms.