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#fiction is incredibly important
brokenorbornthatway · 7 months
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Man it drives me up a wall to come across an anti saying shit like "but the slendermen incident" (whatever that is/was), "but people who emulate fictional serial killers", but but but whatever people who saw something fictional and used it to justify their bad choices.
Just.
You do realize that none of that takes away from the fact that fiction isn't real and the rules of reality should not be imposed on fiction right? People do absolutely horrible things to each other for more reasons than either you or I could possibly think up. Someone choosing to enact something awful they read in fiction isn't any different than someone choosing to do something awful because they read a news article about it.
Think about that for a second. People absolutely have emulated serial killers that they heard/read about from the news. So then, by anti logic, would the solution be to never talk about serial killers on the news ever again in case someone uses it to justify hurting someone else? I sure fucking hope not.
The problem isn't with the news and it isn't with fiction. The problem lies with the people who actually commit the heinous acts and societal issues we have that make it so easy for people to feel for whatever reason that they can and should turn to committing real acts of violence.
Working as a culture to destigmatize having violent thoughts and urges, educating from a young age about these thoughts and urges (and what do about them if you feel them or think someone else is), and providing ample resources for healthy non harmful way to embrace those thoughts and urges would go soooooooooooo much further than arbitrarily trying to police things that are only tangentially related to the core problem.
Honestly, it's my belief that almost (we won't say every because nothing is a monolith) every human alive has violent thoughts and urges to some to degree. We are still animals. We are highly intelligent apes, but apes nonetheless. Look at the violence in other apes and in beings all throughout the animal kingdom. We still have the instincts/genes/biological coding that drives us to hunt, kill, fight for territory, attack any possible threat, do whatever it takes to stay alive and sometimes these instincts+our intelligence lead to people wanting to or causing harm. Some people, for a myriad of reasons, struggle more with violent thoughts and tendencies than others.
I just think if we embraced and acknowledged violence as part of our nature on a foundational level and gave people the tools to handle it without shame or causing harm, there would be a massive reduction in violent crimes. This is done a little bit through things like contact sports, fighting sports, violent fiction and video games, etc, but I think proper education about why people want violent things in the first place would make a huge difference.
I just wish antis would stop pointing the blame of people who do violent things "because fiction told them it was ok" on fiction and point it at the people doing the violent things and the society that allows it instead
-an annoyed researcher
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wonder-worker · 1 month
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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#anyway- I am forever judging historical/fictional books that center around or heavily involve Elizabeth which do not highlight these things#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
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pinkinsect · 2 months
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they should let me cite my tumblr mutuals on academic papers
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lloydfrontera · 8 months
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male authors, writing m/m friendships: their bond will develop through hundreds of chapters, we will get to see each stage of their budding relationship, they'll constantly be in each other thoughts, their first instinct will always be to reach for the other, their first worry will always be the other's safety, they'll spend every minute of the day together, they'll be complete opposites and yet perfectly compliment each other, they will put everything they ever loved in risk just to keep the other safe, they will give their life without hesitation to save the other's, they will fight and argue and tease and joke around but they will always be at each other's side at the end of the day, they will plan to spend the rest of their lives together, sharing the happy moments and the hard times, the idea of being without the other being unthinkable, the thought of being always together coming naturally, as easy as breathing.
the same male authors, writing m/f romance: she'll like,, smile once at him and he'll start thinking of marrying her and having children with her idk
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dejavalentine · 1 month
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should this be how i introduce my @infamous-if mc no am i gonna do it anyway yeah. so hyped for the update!! can't wait to be tortured by my own voluntary choices!!!
Innes Von Yang— ‘Ivy’ or ‘IV’
she/they (nonbinary)
Vampire aesthetic. She also has a lollipop gimmick, as in, she'll go out on stage with one. She's starting bringing unopened ones onto stage to throw into the crowd since it became a thing, but it actually started because she ran onto stage one time with one and some fans thought it looked cool so she kept doing it.
Appearance wise, she has choppy dyed hair with white red and black in the mix. East asian girl with beige skin, but she does full face makeup on stage based around goth and vkei. Might do an outfit collage another time…
Goes by Ivy because it’s her initials (her parents thought von was a middle name and didn’t realize it’s meant to be part of the last name)
Her stage name though is IV, as in the hospital equipment, but cause it’s also the roman numerals for four, her lucky number. She started using it to match with Seven, and he has this as his tattoo because it’s always been ‘her number’ even before it was her stage name. She still has her tattoo as well, and doesn't bother to conceal it.
"Sev!" and "Ive!"
Similarly to how Seven doesn't like Duckstein, Ivy hates her first name and any variations of it, treating Ivy as her name. "Don't call me Nezzie!!" (unless it was high school and you were Seven getting back at them for calling you 'Ducky')
Needs glasses but wears contacts! They worked hard on that eye makeup goddammit!! They just wore glasses back in high school though.
Has a Soundcloud they’ve been using since middle school. They started posting solo songs there which are usually indie pop or some other experimental sound different from the band.
She used to play the violin, but stopped when she got older and focused more on being a vocalist and dance. Ironically? Not that good with plants.
Girl the first meeting between them and August was so funny. “August, meet IV, the one I was telling you about." “You can just call me Ivy. It's nice to meet you." “Isn’t that the same thing…?” “Nah. Ivy— I-V-Y is based off my initials. IV— I and V, is the Roman numeral four.” “…For?” “Yeah, four!” “No for what?” “What do you mean, four what? Four just…means four.”
Deadly arachnophobia. She screamed her fucking lungs out on the bus when they thought they saw one and climbed onto Rowan while shrieking at him to kill it (it was some thread).
They became way more bitter and cynical over time, but out of spite (towards their parents, the world, Seven—) remain stubbornly ambitious and laugh in the face of whatever tries to take her down. It’s just easier and less embarrassing to be volatile than wistful or a doormat. It's for the sake of pride, really.
Closeted Soft Violence fan. You will have to threaten to kill her (or catch her deeply off guard) before she even thinks of admitting this.
She projects anger and spite in front of Seven because she can't help herself. When it comes to being vulnerable, she would always stamp it down or try to cover it up. Inwardly, she’s just really sad and wanting for what’s not really there anymore and never will be. You’re in his dms I’m disgusted by the enormity of my desire!!! We are NOT the same!!!
This is similar to how she acts around her parents. She still really wants to have a relationship with them but feels she's the one who has consistently had to try to have that, which makes her bitter and embarrassed as an adult. They make her feel like a meek little kid again and this time she doesn't even have Seven to fall back on when that happens-- which makes the feeling worse. AUGHH!!!
She’s really only chasing fame because that has to be what makes all of this hurt and effort worth it. Otherwise, genuinely, what was it all for? To share their music? Don't fuck with them like that. It stopped being about 'their' music when Seven left. They're a damn good band, Ivy loves her friends, and she has fun-- but it's just not the same goal without him around anymore.
Used to hate confrontation, but now dives into drama for the hell of it (even if she won’t start it herself necessarily). Generally hates being underestimated or pitied, and doesn’t like getting help because they’re not a ‘charity case.’ Has become kind of trashy and plays comic relief with Rowan alot. Speaking of him...
Her ship name with Rowan was originally ‘IRow’ (Ivy’s a shameless atla fan) but was quickly overtaken by ‘Bloody Hart.’ They’re not into each other but they did kiss while drunk once (which for them kinda solidified the fact they aren't into each other). Fans also coined ‘Snivy’ for her and Seven, though the two never dated.
Is rooting for Piercehart. She has the edits that have started rolling in saved on her camera roll already. They've also been victims of the shipping culture though #AutumnIvy (a typo that just...stuck? August isn't even a fall month!)
Started believing in the idea of fate after Seven left the band. If it brought them together once it can do it again (she refuses to think about it or accept this being the real reason why yet and just chalks it up as her committing to the bit.)
Worst Demeanor: Tweeted ‘Taylor Swift is mid’ then put their phone on dnd for the next two days. She still has it pinned to her profile.
Pinch Me— cause I must be dreaming!
Genre: Alternative Rock, dipping occasionally into Pop Rock
Fandom: Idealists
First album: Burn the Candle
Hit song: At Both Ends
GC: pretenders
xoxo to anyone who got this far have these two drabbles. first one was inspired by the very normal line of thought ‘man what if mc died before they could make up with seven’ (+haha they swapped how they feel about fate) and the second from the fact that sev canonically thought abt mc during their dates like DUDE !!!
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hell-river · 6 months
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I also read Church of Marvels by Leslie Parry, which is a historical fiction with one of the most heart breaking trans stories I’ve ever read and Parry somehow also made it a happy ending? This book made me stare at a wall for five real life minutes. It was one of the most well done multi-pov/multi-plot-becomes-one-plot books I’ve ever read. The vibes were incredible, the characters were incredible, and I really don’t know how it doesn’t have more of a following. Idk much about New York, but Parry’s descriptions of 1890s Coney Island and New York made it the absolutely perfect place to set this story.
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genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character
there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox
this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc
#NOT a discourse post i am musing out loud#there's discourse goign around the dash rn or i wouldnt mention it#but the past few weeks ive seen a lot of “DONT fucking mischaracterize my guy my fuckign god”#which is one of the most frustrating pet peeve there is#but i think a lot too about little baby me#fresh on her writing journey#and how discouraged i would be if someone pointed out the mistakes id made#i made a Lot of fuckups#and i also think about this one fic where one of the characters was INCREDIBLY out of character#me today would not be able to stomach reading it#but baby me was so ENCHANTED#and it introduced to me the concept that you dont always know the reason someone does something#and it made me read even more#and because of that i eventually found Expert Skill level fics#which introduced me to MANY little tricks and fidgets ive tried to implement#there were so so many reviews on that fic that called it shit or complained about the bad characterization#but a decade later i still think about it#there were several very corny mine/craft horror fics i read#which back in the day would be called cringe#and those were what inspired me to write my first horror fic and now im Enchanted by the whole genre#theres a lot of stuff i dont like to read but i like that other people are enjoying themselves#i dont know how to be succinct i hope my point is coming across well#this ties into my thing where fiction is for you first others later#here are my credentials: bb/h fan since before the elections (hi i was the guy who noticed his lack of armour post elections)#and a cross-fandom comment trend of people going 'woa i can see this happening in canon'#im not talking out my ass i genuinely think its more important to have fun than to write accurate characterization#which. is a more 'duh' and clarifying thing than everything else ive written#but ah well c'est la vie#also also just realized this could be interpreted like that- NOT an attack on people who complain about mischaracterization either lmao#i do that too w friends. this is to reassure people who put pressure on themselves to create things Well all the time
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jewishcissiekj · 4 months
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WHY DO I HATE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER
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reneesbooks · 7 months
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wip intro/masterpost - the raedoran cycle
hi hello here it is. my baby.
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genre: fantasy
pov: third person limited, with various narrators throughout
status: a series of 4 novels/stories, in various states of drafting
summary: in one night, Raedora is thrown into chaos. the royal librarian murders the queen and her youngest daughter with magic and flees, leaving behind the king and the crown princess to pick up the pieces. the princess spirals slowly into madness as her sworn shield tries to save her, terrified of her dead sister's prophecy.
two thieves in the capital set their sights on the crown jewels after attending the queen's coronation. but when one gets a little too reckless and catches the attention of the Mad Dog of Morbhard, their plans quickly go off the rails.
when their parents are killed in the Dragon Purges, two shapeshifters must hide amongst their killers to survive. one, a talented healer, tries to build a life that will be safe for them, but her little brother has his sights set on avenging their parents by murdering the queen that ordered their deaths.
a young witch is raised alone by her father, always in hiding, with strange dreams and visions of the future. when he dies of an illness even her magic can't heal, she must strike out on her own, searching for answers to the prophecy that has followed her for her whole life.
tag: the raedoran cycle
so originally this was one novel following multiple characters, but thanks to a minor plot bunny that greatly spiraled out of control (lacuna) it has become something much more. many of the four novels' events occur simultaneously, with their stories overlapping and intertwining as the character's lives do the same.
the knight of lacuna lake
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Keelan: baby boy war criminal. he narrates the story as he tries to save Maura from herself.
Maura: the golden queen of Raedora. she lost half her family in 1 night and handed it incredibly well all things considered (no she didn't)
status: first draft finished(!!), shelved while it marinates and i work on the rest of the cycle. likely going to come back and edit it at some point but for now it is what it is
tag: lacuna
the thieves of morbhard
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Arthur: master lockpick and ball of anxiety. he narrates his attempts to get Jack to notice him while also trying to steal the crown jewels.
Jack: cursed damned street rat. born on the night of the triple new moon and condemned to a life on the streets, he's got his sights set on stealing enough to get both him and Arthur out of Morbhard for good.
status: just barely starting to draft. fully outlined.
tag: thieves
the dragons of kiltide
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Emilia: the only voice of reason around here. a talented healer fighting to protect her baby brother from both the persecution they face in their homeland and the Purges that killed their parents.
Fabin: teenage ball of rage. his parents died in front of him when he was 13 and he has been supremely chill about it since then and doesn't everybody sleep with their sword under their bed?
status: outlining with the occasional scene.
tag: dragons
the witch of the west
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Birdie: a talented witch born under and blessed by the full silver moon. raised by her father in the woods after fleeing the witch trials, she is determined to understand and fulfill her prophecy. her strange dreams of dragons, thieves, and knights lead her to a search for the people who she believes will help her in her journey.
status: it's complicated. this where all the original material lives for the most part so it's outlined(sort of??) and i've been writing scenes for it but idk what the actual timeline of events is and i've changed a LOT since i started. so it's a frankendraft mess. we'll get there eventually.
tag: the witch
and that's it! that's my baby! i think about Them a lot these days.
taglist: ask to be added <3 @k--havok @theharpywrites
links:
lacuna wip intro/masterpost
salt and brine (in the same world but not necessarily relevant)
i will add more as things get posted but for now you can find everything for each story/character through the linked tags up above. i am always available to scream about my children :)
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theblogof-rassilon · 6 months
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Hello Rassilon. Apologies for the deception but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming you're alone; you always did prefer to read your Asks in private. I wouldn't try too hard to stop reading, there's every likelihood you'll just hurt yourself. So just listen.
Anon ask of Omega (Your Ex) regarding Rassilon's current partners. Ask begins.
I hope you'll forgive me the self-indulgence, but I have worked so very hard for this moment, a culmination of two centuries of work. It's rare that you get the chance to monologue through another, and you can't tell me you're not curious.
Why does an ex seek to talk about their former partner's lovers?
It's a simple enough answer: for satisfying one's curiosity. Uninspired, perhaps, but my god. The discovery, not simply of the variety of partners you take interest in, but that you would quite willingly date the teacher of one of Gallifrey's most infamous children.
It's a strange thing to know about an ex, but the fascination, Rassilon, the fascination of it all. I have dedicated my afterlife to handing myself knowledge of these partners, and I feel nothing but satisfaction in this choice.
I believe there are far more people in this world that would catch your eye than you would ever guess. And I have preceeded all of them.
Of course, their desires did not manifest overnight. When Tumblr first gathered your romantic intereste – Borusa, Banthony, and the rest – to discuss and hypothesize on the nature of their love for you, I felt what I believe we all felt: jealousy, and anger.
But as attention on Tumblr increased in number and discussion on the greatest partner for you emerged, I began to develop a very specific concern. Banthony was so obsessed with his ideas on you and his marriage, even as our fellows began to flirt and confess our love to you ourselves.
I began to worry that if Banthony successfully attempted to catch your gaze, then I would be as much a victim as any, trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world without your love.
At first, I attempted prevention, but the cause seemed hopeless. The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable confession of love was to stop my own feelings of love. So what began as an experiment soon became a race. I would make you fall in love with Banthony before professing your love to anyone else, therefore eliminating what myself or Borusa's feelings may be.
And there, I think, we are brought just about up to date. I have enjoyed our little trip down memory lane, but past here lies only a happy future for you and Banthony.
Goodbye, Rassilon
- Omega xoxo
I- I don't know what to say.
Omega, if this is really you, if you somehow, by every twist and turn of fate imaginable, survived this long in some form... My love for you has always been the greatest of any I have felt. Never have I loved another in the way I loved you.
But that is in the past. I have to stop letting you hold me back. I made my decision that fateful day; I did what I had to do to reach the top, to shape this society- our society, our dream- in the way that it must be shaped. Gallifrey could never have had two rulers. You knew this going in. And, best of all, dearest love, you knew that I would not be able to stand a threat to my power and my control. So, as much as I loved you, Omega, my sweet Ohm, my darling Peylix, I had to let you go. For us, for our home, for our people, for our dream. For Gallifrey. We would both be dead and gone by now if I had not, but now, you live on in your beautous creations, and in our shared society. Look at our children. At what we have created. This must be enough.
Oh, but my darling, you never could be so easily satisfied.
That is why I loved you. And that is why I had to let you go.
If this really were you, I would say, dearest Ohm, that I am glad you are able to let me go. I know that must be exceedingly difficult. But, I am happy with Borusa, and I do not love Banthony. If I did not have Borusa to think of, perhaps things would be different, and I would honour your wishes. Perhaps, then, you may finally find peace.
I am truly sorry that I must leave you trapped in your death, but you will never be in a world without my love. My love for you transcends the grave- and yes, I know, it must be your grave, my darling, for you cannot have survived beyond. I know, in my hearts, that you are gone and that this cannot be from you, not really, for you are lost to all but my memory.
Goodbye, my love. For whatever isn't left of you, for whatever could have been- my love for you persists even now, across regenerations and across death and across time.
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vulpinesaint · 1 year
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the sheer number of incredibly intricate worlds and characters that i have created with people who i am no longer friends with so that i can no longer talk about those characters or use those settings. i only got half the dog in the divorce do you know what i mean
#i have all these characters but they're missing their FRIENDS and their ORIGINAL CIRCUMSTANCES#people will never understand roleplay with original settings and original characters.#imagine if you played dnd purely by talking about the characters and their relationships with each other and their themes and motifs#and did all the little roleplay scenarios but wrote about it. and then made a bunch of supplementary material for your characters.#and then like. instead of one character you've got like three of them and they're all Part of this collaborative world#mourning the group of like. dkjfghs. nine friends from a fantasy world. i only have claim to like three of them#the rest... again. only half the dog#i WILL use prydwen elsewhere. because i'm in love with him and that's important in a character. he's literally my silly rabbit#but GOD i want to get my fucking hands on people's intellectual property sometimes#i was the ONLY one doing cool shit with the fantasy sci-fi world this one person created and i WANT to do more with it!!!#and like. how am i supposed to use zephyr without stealing the incredibly specific circumstances that they were created out of#anyway. frustrating. at least i have prydwen. hugging him like a teddy bear#yeah girl i have ocs except i don't talk about them on tumblr i'm in my little roleplay servers that i created the ocs for dskfgh#honestly i have probably talked about faedren more than any actual character of mine from like. Writing.#also my fault for not having any actual wips. long form or even short form fiction is not my strong suit nothing rlly sticks#WHATEVER. feel like shit just want her back (all of the characters that are inextricably intertwined with someone else)#valentine notes
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give-soup-please · 2 years
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(me, preparing an important presentation on queer issues): ah, yes, doing this will make my favorite fictional characters so proud of me >:)
Me, cont: yes, they will indeed be proud of me for standing in front of an audience and talking, despite the fact that they do not exist, cannot see me, and do not know of my existence. making fictional characters proud of me is something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve...
(does anyone else do this?)
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doggie-guts · 1 year
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It’s 3:54 AM but I need to talk about this real quick.
Now I’ve been in my fair share of fandoms and been a fan of many ships but something about ZeroX just feels so beautiful and perfect to me.
Like two men hardened by years of war, they have been through so much together, shared trauma and pain. And despite all of this, they are in love
Yeah I know this sounds really stupid but I had been thinking about this for a while
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gasterofficial · 2 years
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WAIT HOLD ON GASTEE ADHD?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? SORRY I GET EXCITED WHEN MY EXPERIENCES ARE NOT SOLELY MY OWN I DONT EVER SEE ENOUGH MENTION OF ADHD ITS ONLY EVER USED FOR JOKES HI HELLO LOOKING DIRECTLY AT YOU /POS
YES, INDEED. MY DIVERGENCE MAY HAVE DISADVANTAGED ME IN MANY FACETS OF LIFE. BUT I WOULD NOT TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING. IT IS A PART OF WHO I AM.
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girlscience · 2 years
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@people who have a stable sense of self and identity, what's that's like? how's it feel to be beloved by the universe?
#people who say shit like 'i knew i was [insert identity here] when i was 5 or 12 or whatever' i wish i was you#i have been flip flopping on this shit as long as i can remember#and it's not like it's new feelings i'm flip flopping about? it literally like the same exact emotion every god damn time#and my internal idk sense of self really doesn't change much but which piece my brain thinks is important does?#i don't know if that makes sense#like... i would never say that some mornings i wake up and feel zero attraction to women but some days i do think i've made it up#or like some days i think maybe i am attracted to men but i just never want to date or marry or be in any sort of romantic relationship#with a man... i just don't hate dicks and could theoretically have sex with a man... and like some fictional men are pretty.#and i had one crush on a guy when i was like 12... but i also was incredibly jealous of him and hated myself because i was female#and i would never get to be him#but then i'm like does it matter that i don't want to date men? i am not sure i want to date at all?#except i kind of would like to date a very specific tyler of woman in a very specific type of relationship#and i do genuinely think i would love that so much and sometimes i want it so bad i physically ache#but i don't feel that way about men. but the one guy i had a crush on i did when i was 14 or whatever#but also people talk about all these experiences they had as a kid with being gay in the church and how hard it was#and sure i had a hard time but it wasn't very hard to hide it from everyone so like i didn't face a ton of shit other people have#so like does it really count?#maybe i'm just making all of it up and i'm just straight and lying to myself about everything#but i've known i found women attractive since i was very young#and not to be tmi but until i was presented with outside information about sex with men i only pictured myself having sex with women#because the idea of piv sex literally doesn't compute at all in my brain#i genuinely think i would rather die than let anyone stick their dick inside my body#and i used to have legitimate panic attacks about having to marry a man and have sex with him because i felt like i had to#and i know all of this is super super cis centric but i'm going to be so honest. adding in trans identities when trying to figure this out#has only made it significantly more complicated in my brain#and i feel shitty about that but it's true and i don't know what to do about that#and i could keep going on and on about the fact i'm 99% sure i'm stone which also confuses things#because i can find stuff about being a stone butch lesbian but if i am bi.... i have literally never seen anything about being stone#with a man before. literally never.#but also does it matter? because i might be a lesbian since i am very uncomfortable with the idea of romancing a man in any way
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orcelito · 1 year
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My favoritism is Obvious
Tfw I spent all the rest of my money buying bow upgrades for The Boy
In an entirely predictable move, I'm pretty sure he's my favorite
#speculation nation#engage spoilers/#he's like a mix of my favs from two other games. felix and takumi lol#he even looks like felix. though his personality couldnt be more different lmfaoo#but that same sort of Little Brother Syndrome that both felix and takumi have...#never feeling like they can surpass their elder brother.. feeling Jealousy about it... & other feelings for felix but this aint about him#combine felix's appearance with takumi's bow skill (& slightly more pathetic mannerisms) and U get alcryst#alcryst is so... sopping wet pathetic. the absolute most pathetic boy in existence#putting himself down CONSTANTLY. extreme sense of inferiority to his Model Crown Prince brother#alcryst keeps making comments about being a waste of space and i wanna take him by the shoulders and tell him#YOU ARE AN AMAZING ARCHER. BEST IN MY ARMY. INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT MEMBER. I LOVE YOU.#he looks So cool when he's not literally prostrating himself for unknowingly shooting at the divine dragon. lmao#but yea he's everything i love in a fictional character. Angsty boy with elder sibling issues. apparently that's a constant for my favs#also I HAD HIM WITH LIEF. IT WAS SUCH A GOOD COMBO. BUT THEN THEY TOOK MY RINGS AWAY 😠😠😠😠#dont worry alcryst i'll get ur emblem ring back. at some point...#also between the upgrades and engraving on the killer bow. it now has a 67% crit rate#which is kind of INSANE. this is a bow of Fuck You#i love having archers that are a death sentence.#even better is that with 'canter' he can go up. one-shot someone. then dart back behind the line#he's got a decent defense but at the end of the day he's an archer. a glass canon. GOD i love him so much#both as a unit and as a character. sopping wet tissue of a boy. i love him
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