#fight for your right to... work out!
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Considering we know that Aedes Elysiae was home to faeries Memlings, I'm constantly imagining a Phainon who lives his life by all these in-grained, seemingly unnecessary (to outsiders) traditions designed around the fae folk...
Don't give your real name to strangers.
Always keep your promises.
Never trust anything offered freely.
Don't express any of your own wishes; you may not be able to pay the price of the granting.
Eat only the food of those you know by heart.
Wear a ring of iron to ward off the ill-intentioned.
Carry sweets and trinkets in your pocket to distract mischievous fae.
Do not enter a home until you're sure of your welcome.
But also: Do not reject visitors--greet all who come with hospitality; you never know what disguises a fairy may use.
Sometimes the children come back from the forest a little bit different. You didn't see anything and nothing has changed.
Make equal time for each who you hold close; jealousy is among the gravest dangers.
Leave milk and golden honey on the window ledge in offering.
Let no debt go unpaid, and leave no injustice unavenged.
Mydei: Castrum Kremnos was the most untamed place in Amphoreus--
Phainon: Aedes Elysiae was surely a paradise in comparison. One of my old neighbors traded his firstborn for a goat that talked in riddles once!
Mydei: --you know what, never mind.
#honkai star rail#phainon#faeries#aedes elysiae#ever since that Cyrene flashback where she told Phainon to go play with the faeries#the entire “Don't reveal your real name” thing has felt so on the nose#and I also like toying with the idea that no one from Aedes Elysiae is *actually* human#like sure there's fae that look like cutesy little animals#but also all the “people” of Aedes Elysiae are just something...#not-quite-right#Phainon can pull titans out of the sky and he's like#yeah I think that was just all the weight training or something?#surely everyone could be this strong if they worked at it?#not realizing that he is very much NOT like any of the other “people” in Amphoreus lol#and there's also the fact that Phainon repeatedly makes a big deal out of#“I haven't fought HUMANS in a while”#yes I know he means he only fights titankin/black tide#but there's something so specific in separating himself from those he considers “human”...#Dolos got cat people#Aedes Elysiae got “thought they were normal only because they've never met *actual* humans” fae folk#this is why Phainon is actually obsessed with treasure appraisal and wealth#he got that fae hoarding tendency lolol
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I forgot about how killing eve's writing just starts getting progressively worse the more season 3 goes on. Like girl what happened to my show.......... my characters......... what did they DO to villanelle...................... and where is EVE
#eve is gone for like half the season#and villanelle has suddenly developed empathy and started caring about killing...........#like listen ok I get not wanting to kill anymore. especially after she killed her mother#but it doesn't justify her personality doing a complete 180 like that??#like suddenly she cares when she kills people. suddenly she's not being manipulative with eve anymore#like. I could buy into a character arc like that if it made sense and didn't come out of nowhere. but it came out of NOWHERE#it's like the writer suddenly decided she was gonna make villanelle a better person#but didn't really put that much effort into setting that change up#everything that happens as season 3 goes on only really works if you don't think too much about it#and it's like the closer you get to the end the more they're asking you to suspend your disbelief#which got rlly hard for me on that last episode tbh. as much as I think the scene on the bridge is cute#all I could think about was 'villanelle feels so off. I don't think she'd act like this at all in previous seasons'#and the change just doesn't feel earned#maybe it could make sense but you have to really dig to try to find reasons why. the show sure doesn't give you many on-screen#just like it doesn't give many answers on-screen to anything at all LMAO RIGHT ON EP1#we never learn who found eve at rome and how#we never learn much of anything about how she got where she is#we never see the main couple TALK about what happened in rome. but they're suddenly cool with it after 1 fight on the bus#AND I LOVE THE BUS KISS it's probably the best scene out of the whole season#but god I wish it wasn't the only moment where we see them hashing things out#and then on ep1 there's kenny's death being used as a plot device......#and then the investigation of his murder also being 1 huge plot device#which kinda goes nowhere besides getting mentioned here and there and at the end being like#'oh! konstatin killed kenny!! do you guys remember that this whole season started off being about kenny?? remember that you guys???'#like. bold thing to do when 90% of the season wasn't about any of that#it just felt so disjointed :/ I was so sad on this rewatch bc I loved s1&2 so much............. and I forgot how bad it got after#and I know s4 is about to get worse........ oh boy#I'm almost considering not rewatching it tbh#killing eve#sleep.txt
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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i think the turning point in my life both academically and professionally was realizing that. If you Go First, be it a presentation or an interview or whatever. If you go first, you are being judged based on NOTHING but yourself. They aren't comparing you to anyone else, you don't have an act to "follow". You are the Bar. You can literally just do the best you can and at that point it will automatically be the best they've seen so far. And once you're done you're done. You can mentally and emotionally check out.
Game changer insofar as being stressed about presenting because now I just bulldoze over everyone else to go first like a feral hog.
#its true though#all my anxiety about presentations got reduced SIGNIFICANTLY once I started fighting to be first#its Good Advice#this actually especially applies to people with unfinished work like#girl you do not want to watch 9 people with complete presentations go and then give your speech#just jump on that grenade early before they've had time to be impressed by anyone#and the fallout wont be NEARLY as bad#and then its over right away#also if youre a smug petty bitch like me#you can absolutely blow the performance out of the water#and bask in the absolutely traumatized expressions of everyone who has to go after you now#if im gonna be the bar im going to set it at the ceiling#sorry#so i guess the next lesson is you have to fight to be before Me and those Like Me#rip
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okay i will admit it: i don't like 431 from a narrative standpoint (or really any standpoint) but if you view it exclusively as the true epilogue in an alternate universe of mha in which 5 year old katsuki is right about deku looking down on him and doing everything to spite him and wanting to bring about his downfall then the whole thing becomes kind of absurdly funny
#telling a guy that hes your symbol of victory and that youve been chasing after him for years#& establishing a rivalry with him & getting him to confront the fact that he's in love with you & fighting TOGETHER in your final battle#to the point that he DIES for you and you lean on him when you lose your quirk#and he spends 8 years grinding so he can buy you a suit and be partners with you so you can BE together#and then JUST when he decides to ask you to work with him- you leave him for a woman haunted by the ghost of yuri's past#and specifically dump him in his car with his best friend next to him.#ALL as an elaborate scheme to get back at him for bullying you in middle school#like idk its almost fucking funny.#imagine thinking that the guy who helped you up once when u were both 5 is plotting to make you suffer and twenty years later#it turns out you were RIGHT#okay to be clear this isn't actually how i feel about what happened in 431#thats more complicated. in the meantime: shitpost!#mha leaks#mha manga spoilers#mha#bnha#bkdk#bakudeku#bkdkbk#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#ant speaks
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-Okay but some of the fears that Color has are in fact the same fears that Nightmare has when it comes to Killer.
Like, Color is worried that Killer's so blindly loyal to Nightmare for whatever reason that he wouldn't even think of complaining if he hated it. And at the start that was something Nightmare probably expected. His henchmen should be loyal and obedient and not ask questions nor complain. But now, after years of learning and bonding and softening up significantly he wonders sometimes if that's still the case.
Nightmare knows Killer well, perhaps better than most, but he's not exactly an open book. Especially when it comes to his own wants or needs. More often than not when he makes a request it's intentionally silly or unreasonable for laughs, like asking if they can take Dust to the nearest pet store and try to trade him in. Very rarely does he want something strong enough to make it known, both to himself and others, like asking to keep the first cat he found.
So.
If he hated this. If he truly struggled and fought and agonised with himself about the position he's in and the work he's doing and the life he leads.
Would he say it? Would he realise that was how he felt? Would he even consider saying no was an option?
If Nightmare asked him to do something he really genuinely did not want to, would he just do it anyway because he doesn't believe he has a choice in the matter?
The only way of finding out (besides making a blatantly difficult request of him, which Nightmare is not willing to do) is to simply wait and trust that Killer will tell him if something is wrong. Which... is not exactly foolproof or easy.
But it's part of why Nightmare hates to be around Color too much, because deep down he's more than a little worried that Color could be right and he doesn't know how to fix it.
#UTDR#UTMV#Dadmare#This was a thought I had and drafted like months and months ago and forgot about#Little ideas about how to fit Color into a dadmare scenario I guess#Cool people who make Color posts don't look I'm probably doing a terrible job with your boy lol#He's not worried about the others in regards to this because Dust has never had a problem disobeying him#And Horror and Cross set out ground rules for themselves right from the start about what they would not do (murder)#He's never sure about Killer though. how do you begin to tell someone they don't have to listen to you if they don't want to#How do you tell if it worked?#Realistically Killer has and does disobey Nightmare he just hides it well#''I got caught out and ganged up on during that fight'' when really he peeled off to go talk to Color out of sight#''they must have heard we were coming. there was nothing we could do'' when one of them got distracted and they fucked up a job#''we've always had that cat. they're just shy so you don't see them very much'' when he brought home another stray in his jacket#<-That one happens a lot and Nightmare is beginning to suspect on it#But he never sees more than like 4 or 5 of them at a time so he can't prove anything#Whether it's sheer luck or Killer has trained his cats to do a Parent Trap bit on him nobody knows for sure#Anyway this has cooked for long enough time to release it into the wild#Go my post
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So you know the scene at the end of The Taming of The Shrew where they have that stupid competition to see whose wife is most obedient? Can you imagine if other Shakespeare characters were there?
Ophelia: You called, My Lord?
Hamlet: No I didn’t. Why are you here when nobody likes you? Go away!
Petruchio: Even I think that’s mean.
Romeo: Go find Juliet and ask her if she would come here and tell her she has the most beautiful eyes, that make the very sun seem dull, and the loveliest hair and a face that puts to shame Aphrodite herself...oh and bring her this sonnet I wrote her...and actually I’ll go find her myself for I can’t bear to be apart from her another moment!
Petruchio: …
Petruchio: … Yeah he’s not coming back. Next!
Coriolanus: Go find my wife and ask her to come here and also ask her if she's seen Aufidius. Actually, have you seen Aufidius...or heard any news of him?
Servant: No I haven't… Is there a name or a description I could use to find your wife?
Coriolanus: Hold on. I know this one.
Petruchio: Wow... We’ll come back to you. Next!
Orlando: I refuse to participate in this farce. It’s demeaning to women.
“Ganymede”: Nonsense! Any real man (which I totally am) wants women to obey him without question!
Orlando: That’s wrong! That’s not being a “real man”; that’s just being a bully. I would never treat Rosalind that way and I hope no one else would either!
“Ganymede”: … You pass the test.
Orlando: What?
"Ganymede": What?
Benedick: HEY BEATRICE!
Beatrice from 3 rooms away: WHAT?
Benedick: CAN YOU COME HERE A SECOND?
Beatrice: WHY?
Benedick: SOME MAN HERE WANTS TO SEE IF YOU’RE OBEDIENT.
Beatrice: WHY ARE YOU PERPETUATING THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN INSTEAD OF PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE?
Benedick: YOU MEAN YOU DON’T WANT TO COME HERE AND SHOW OFF YOUR OBEDIENCE? I AM SHOCKED AND HEARTBROKEN!
Beatrice: HA. HA. SO HILARIOUS.
Beatrice: … HE STILL DOESN’T SOUND VERY PUNCHED IN THE FACE. I SUGGEST YOU FIX THAT UNLESS YOU WANT TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH FOREVER!
Benedick: ON IT!
Benedick *rolling up his sleeves*: Isn’t she great?
#Petruchio: Why are you rolling up your sleeves? You’re not just going to let some woman tell you what to— *gets hit right in the jaw*#Benedick: She is not *punch* “some woman”! *punch* She’s *punch* Beatrice! *punch*#Benedick: WAS THAT ENOUGH DARLING?#Beatrice: YEAH! SOUNDS GOOD#Petruchio to “Ganymede”: YOU'RE a man after my own heart. Will you help me up?#“Ganymede”: I am neither a man nor after any heart but Orlando's. *punches him while he still is trying to work that out*#Coriolanus: We’re fighting? Who are we fighting? Is it Aufidius?#listen. after they get together Beatrice and Benedick are THAT couple and they absolutely make that everyone's problem#humor#Shakespeare#Shakespearean shenanigans#the taming of the shrew#much ado about nothing#hamlet#Coriolanus#As you like it#gen
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jaykyle au where they're theatre kids in the same school but they're not the actors jason's the scriptwriter/director and kyle is the prop manager (i don't know the official terms sorry) and they'd probably do an amazing job on the backstage setting if they could stop arguing for 5 whole seconds about their artistic visions and ideas and how "this would obviously work better this way"
#jason todd#kyle rayner#jaykyle#mypost#dc thoughts#vp of the club: maybe we should find some other people to do the job if they can't get along?#pres of the club: no they're both talented af and i want this to be raving success just knock their heads tgt and tell them to play nice or#i'll make them wear the get along shirt again#WAIT ONE SEC DONNA'S THE PRES and overseer she's pissed bcos kyle played the same role last year and he was chill then#wally's vp no 1 and backstage manager and he's thinking of kicking kyle out#dick's vp no 2 and main lead and he's thinking of kicking jason out bcos it's embarrassing and annoying to work with your younger siblings#kon helps kyle with props and bart is one of the actors and kon is jealous af about it he grumbles a little#roy is the fight scene choreographer#i'm trying to think of something for garth but the only thing that comes to mind i'm not sure are fitting enough#actor manager? weapon manager? oooh maybe pet manager if they have animals... human and pet manager???? hr department but including animals#ooooh maybe pet manager if they have animals#raven can play bart's love interest (in play) maybe (wally doesn't like it and neither does gar for very different reasons)#eddie deals with the contraptions they build for this bubble machines smoke machines lowering and raising anything mechanical#rose and cass helps with the weapons stuff they keep fighting too and roy is TIRED#connor plays the villain he didn't mean to or want to but he got dragged into it and he's really hot and gunned in for next years main lead#he doesnt want this#steph and mia are hair makeup costume department but bart and kon love to hangout and help too#jennie-lynn and bart are in-charge of socials#tim pops up a lot because so many of his friends (and brothers) are here and when he does he helps steph and mia#damian too pops up to help with pet management and sometimes prop art#this is much to dicks annoyance jason is already here can his little brothers LEAVE HIM ALONE SOMETIMES UGH#damian (taking cues from talia and bruce loverenemies dynamic and wanting an artist in-law): we should set jason and kyle up#dick: no / tim: hmm / dick: NO#i want to add the yj girls (cassie cissie greta anita) but i know too little about them right now but imagine they're there and the roles#are to be determined
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If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???
i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3
Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.
Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.
And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#fandom tag#anyway the fandom is i guess mean to all of them#but like it's deserving.#everytime i meet a tim anti i'm like you're SO right. he's the worst. pls hate his ass more.#same with bruce. like never met a bruce anti who didn't have endless receipts for hating his ass.#(except for those using the shallow 'he's a billionaire beating up the mentally ill' argument which. i ignore)#(bc why are you. consuming superhero content if you just don't like or understand the genre. it's lazy pseudointellectual nonsense.)#and i don't think ppl are truly mean to dick. i think they just don't understand him.#which extends to the entire batfamily bc well. the state of the fandom and all.#like “everyone else is wrong about them” isn't in a “no one gets them but me” way#(except about tim truly no one gets him but me /j)#it's in a “oh y'all just want to fit them into neat boxes don't you” way#one more person call dick grayson “eldest daughter core” and i'm going to your house and eating the stuffing out all of your pillows.#first of all can we stop calling male characters “female coded” in any way please#women exist in comics too.#second of all it's just not true? and it's not the complex he has with bruce nor his “siblings” if you wish to call them that#and then bruce. where do you even start.#you dare say you think it's in character for bruce to hit his kids and *SOCIETY. society goes wild.*#like ofc it has to be in specific contexts. he's not just swinging.#and sometimes it *is* written very OOC bc bruce is written as a machismo self insert i give you that#but yeah a soldier who views his children as soldiers and has zero healthy emotional regulation or communication skills#is gonna sometimes swing in his worst moments. it is just how the superhero genre works everyone is gonna fist fight to solve problems.#why are you reading comics about ppl who hit other ppl for a living if you don't like it when they hit ppl.#also random hot take about dick's characterization#the young justice tv show did incredible damage to ppl's perception of him and i dislike the take it's the best adaptation of him
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I miss them so bad (Dick and Damian)
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#damian wayne#dick grayson#ITS JUST NOT THE SAME MAN#idk i was reading nightwing must die (again...) bc i was in a funk and saw another post saying how fans exaggerate the closeness btwn them#and on the one hand i get it. there is a very rosy portrayal of their relationship you'll come across in fanon#and they weren't very close at the beginning of their relationship#but man. reading Nightwing must die again was like#YES they fight. damian instigates it and while dick tries to exercise patience he does fight back/lash out on occasion#but despite all that it's still emphasized how important the two are to each other#when dick is forced to picture a future where he's lost his way he pictures damian being the one to bring him back#not necessarily bc damian is his favorite person on the planet but bc he gave damian robin. for a lot of practical reasons-#-but also bc how far damians come is (i think at least based on this arc) a testament to dick that hes doing Something right#both as a hero/person#damian is more than just a burden saddled on him (although there's an element of that in their batman and robin run)#he's also a last remaining connection to bruce when he's gone (remembering where he comes from) AND he's training damian+#-his own way! with a dash of tough love and workaholic spirit inherited but also a lot of patience and focus on being More than the darkness#idc what ppl say nightwing must die makes sense for these two. its a retcon but one that works imo#that dick buried his head in the sand about how much damian meant/the responsibility he had to him bc it was a commitment he was afraid of#and how damian ultimately was a point of maturation for dick even if he went back to being Nightwing#they were SO goddamn close and now they're still close but only in ways that are implied#and their bond is deemphasized in comparison to each others bond w/ say bruce. which i think is a shame#it was a wrinkle! a fun wrinkle that the batfamily had that in some ways dick understood damian better than Bruce-#-even if he didn't feel like he could handle the responsibility of raising him full time#it kills me that bc of the n52 we never got the handover of the batman mantle (and damian) from dick to bruce#next nightwing writer...include a flashback to that moment AND have damian appear in the book in present....AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!#anyway. dick is damians brother but also damian a little bit imprinted on him like a baby duck and its rubbed off on dick#they're partners they're mentor mentee but most importantly they were batman and robin. and they were the greatest#NOT bc it was all peaches and roses but bc they cared for each other exponentially despite all that
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God, the Matt/Gabby relationship really was horrid from start to finish...
#like was there EVER a good moment?#when werent they fighting? struggling? just bad#like from 'i wanna be the Other Woman' to 'What About MY CARRER?? I wanna stay RIGHT HERE' to 'Im gonna have this baby even without MY SPOU#MY SPOUSE(????)' to 'Lets get back together for the kids that always works out' to 'well this is what im doing now change YOUR life or#BUH-BYYYE' like...????#God what could she have been without only being Casey's love interest?#and the whole Alderman thing?!#god its at BEST nails on a chalkboard and at worst actual tortore#chicago fire#one chicago#anti gabby dawson#anti dawsey#matt casey#gabby dawson#mine#my post
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@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔
#your reblog surprised me#THREE BUNS SUGURU (STAR WARS ER JUST FOR YOU!)#theyre covering riko or smt and smuggling her places (??)#drawing this i was like ‘oh suguru’s curses in a star wars environment should be robots and stuff#so this suguru is a mecanic (he makes them from scrappy parts people have thrown out#and trash materials (and hard work 😎)#diy pokemon#because what is the cursed energy people are letting out if not junk theyre letting go of#so yeah ; basic geto takes shit and turns it useful#i do realise thats already very generic for star wars (junk robots junk robots!) but like. yknow. this guy takes shit people wouldnt bother#trying to sell. miam. junk of the junk. geto my favourite recycling bin you were designed for a luxurious lifestyle clearly (gege not me!)#(and stuff…………. but im lazy to put my vision in words rn hah..)#gojo’s probably a princess#(let’s not lie. hes basically a prince already (clan heir is a different look on him))#this made me want to write ?.??#problem is i dont remember much about star wars (watched it as a kid (we have the cds) appart from the very basic storyline… i forgot 😔#then theres the jawa’s first appearance cuz for some reason they scared me and i am marked for life (THEYRE JUST SILLY LITTLE GUYS 😭😭))#thankfully i lowkey want to rewatch everything so these issues can be fixed#(unthankfully either way the chance of me writing anything is very slim BUT WE NEVER KNOW RIGHT)#(hashtag diverging your attention from that other older post is it working /j/j)#omg glo i still didnt read balance (i think of it from time to time but im intimidated to read it because i know its right up my alley and#that i will love it and lately idk why but i need to ready myself emotionally to read peak fiction (this is so dumb but its true 😭😭))#my bad im rambling lol#WAIT FUCK SAME THING FOR BUNNY’S RECENT THINGY THAT GOT IN MY AO3 UPDATE MAIL#A LOVE STORY TOLD THROUGH THE LENS OF A THIRD PARTY MY BELOVED#(itsg ive searchef for these types of stories in advanced search before#AND NOW THAT I HAVE SOME BY AUTHORS I ALREADY ADORE .. IM- I SEE THEM BUT. THEIR CONTENTS STAY A MYSTERY. IS THIS MY BODY SUBCONSCIOUSLY FI#FIGHTING THE TEAR LOSS I WOULD GET??? IS THIS MFING [BALLING-MY-EYES-OUT] PREVENTION !? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..!? TCH!)#my bad. ramble again o7 — see ya glo !#wip
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How to talk to short people: a demonstration by Hisui more of my Phantom Siita gifs here
#phantom siita#ファントムシータ#sorry this looks so bad#I was fighting for my life with tumblr's size limits#also I'm allowed to make this joke I'm 5'1"#drekisdottir I know you're going to reblog this and I'm calling out your tall person privilege right now#anyway I'm working on more mv gifsets but until then enjoy some random stuff#also sorry for everyone who followed me for reasons other than j-idols#as hyperfixations go it's been a real surprise to me too#phantom siita gifs#phantom siita bts gifs#my gifs
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Prism's concept art has been. Deeply on my mind. They had some killer ideas for her and ummm.....sobs in my hands. I love her?
#sometimes i forget i like markers then i draw in markers and im like woah! these are fun!#idk it's the closest i can make my traditional look like digital lmao#ALSO can you tell I LOVE doing line art because. I love doing lineart#im really happy with this.... i have a shitpost idea of the mind rn but i also wanna draw her in the lab coat#she could slay in anything I feel#also! new sketchbook!! im yet to make a sappy post about ny old one but yeah i had to hand it it on thursday of the first day of my art exam#im hyped about this one though i really like it so far auuu <- still on the front pages#best eay to break in a new sketchbook! draw the fictional woman youre head over heels for!!!#[agent moose's art]#i expect you to die#ieytd#roxana prism#robutler#<- ohb big boy tags im happy with her..#i was fighting for ny life trying to figure out what colour to do the trousers though#but it worked out i feel#i also am somewhere in the middle abt the skintone for her because likeeee okay i do have a darker marker HOWEVER it's got too much of -#- a red tint to it and i did a loose doodle with it before for her and it just. didn't look right#so i used a ligher one but built it up#it looks darker in person and tbf i do edit my photos so they're less dull
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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