#finally go to sleep and i couldn’t even have a nice dream about my dog like i usually do. it had to be the worst thing ever

[justaneedle]

The Demigod Diaries

The Diariy of Luke Castellan

Here I go...

So... Thalia was kind of subverse manic pixie dream girl for Luke back then?..

Well, literally a girl with an awl in her ass who drags him somewhere, does something and he’s like: “well, okay”?

Okay, question. Where do the demigods even get nectar and ambrosia? Or weapons made of Celestial bronze? No, really.

Now I’ve faced some scary stuff before — fire-breathing dogs, pit scorpions, dragons — not to mention a set of oily black man-eating draperies. But something about those voices echoing all around me, those glowing eyes advancing from either direction, and the weird clacking noises made me feel like a deer surrounded by wolves.

All in all, I'm increasingly doubting that Luke did really try to kill Percy at the end of TLT...

“Y-you’d better explain,” I stammered. “Why—how—what…?”

As you can tell, I’m good with words.

Okay, it's funny considering Luke IS actually good with words and persuasive. But right now he's just a scared kid, which... makes me weirdly angry (at the gods, of course, duh).

I'm wanna cry... Luke angry with Hal, but understand his lack of hope, 'cause he's not the one who blamed... And after so many books, just dare to say that he was wrong.

Still, she fixed me with those intense blue eyes, and I knew this was another time Thalia would get her way.

I sighed. “You’re going to ask me to open it, aren’t you?”

“Can you?”

I chewed my lip. Maybe next time I teamed up with someone, I should choose someone I didn’t like so much. I just couldn’t say no to Thalia.

Can you NOT break my heart? No? Amazing.

I turned to the old man. “You could maybe hide in the bathtub. Put some wet towels over your face. It might protect you.”

Luke so cute baby, I can't.

Hal exhaled.

Thalia kissed me on the cheek, which she probably shouldn’t have done while I was holding a tube of deadly poison.

“You are so good,” she said.

Did that make the risk worth it? Yeah, pretty much.

Stoooop! Stop doing that with me, Rick! I'm not even into thaluke, damn you!

I feel incredibly sorry for Hal, but...

Hal typed: I can’t look. It’s too dangerous. You can see what happened to me last time I tried to use my powers.

“Sure,” I grumbled. “Don’t take the risk. You might mess up this nice life you’ve got here.”

I knew that was mean. But the old man’s cowardice annoyed me. He’d let the gods use him as a punching bag for too long. It was time he fought back, preferably before Thalia and I became the leucrotae’s next meal.

See, see, see? Luke just desperately wants to do something and for others to do something too, 'cause sitting idly by like the obedient little dogs of the gods is a bad idea!

Thalia clenched her fists. She started to speak, then paced the room. Finally she slammed her palm against the bookshelves. “That doesn’t make any sense. I’ll sacrifice myself, but I’ll live. Changing, sleeping? You call that a future? I—I don’t even have a family. Just my mom, and there’s no way I’m going back to her.”

Hal pursed his lips. He typed, I’m sorry. I don’t control what I see. But I didn’t mean your mother.

Thalia almost backed up into the drapes. She caught herself just in time, but she looked dizzy, as if she’d just stepped off a roller coaster.

“Thalia?” I asked, as gently as I could. “Do you know what he’s talking about?”

She gave me a cornered look. I didn’t understand why she seemed so rattled. I knew she didn’t like to talk about her life back in L.A., but she’d told me she was an only child, and she’d never mentioned any relatives beside her mom.

And then this family will die! For the damn gods! RICK!!!

He avoided my eyes. Reluctantly he typed, Hard to be sure. Luke, I also saw a sacrifice in your future. A choice. But also a betrayal.

I waited. Hal didn’t elaborate.

“A betrayal,” Thalia said. Her tone was dangerous. “You mean someone betrays Luke? Because Luke would never betray anyone.”

Hal typed, His path is hard to see. But if he survives today, he will betray—

Thalia grabbed the keyboard. “Enough! You lure demigods here, then you take away their hope with your horrible predictions? No wonder the others gave up — just like you gave up. You’re pathetic!”

Anger kindled in Hal’s eyes. I didn’t think the old man had it in him, but he rose to his feet. For a moment, I thought he might lunge at Thalia.

“Go ahead,” Thalia growled. “Take a swing, old man. You have any fire left?”

“Stop it!” I ordered. Hal Green immediately backed down. I could swear the old man was terrified of me now, but I didn’t want to know what he saw in his visions. Whatever nightmares were in my future, I had to survive today first.

Sorry, but I'll say it again. Who actually betrayed whom is a damn controversial question, and most of the fandom won't agree with me. But I'll die on this hill.

In general, if Luke had been at Hogwarts, he would have been good at flying, Potions, a separate course in Alchemy, which is an additional class towards the end of studies... and wouldn't have come even one step closer to Divination.

Tell me that either of you would interpret Hal's words differently than Luke. I bet you not.

We crept toward the loading bay until we stood over the pile of metal. Thalia readied her spear. I gestured for her to hold back. I reached for the piece of corrugated metal and mouthed, One, two, three!

As soon as I lifted the sheet of tin, something flew at me — a blur of flannel and blond hair. A hammer hurtled straight at my face.

Things could’ve gone very wrong. Fortunately my reflexes were good from years of fighting.

I shouted, “Whoa!” and dodged the hammer, then grabbed the little girl’s wrist. The hammer went skidding across the pavement.

The little girl struggled. She couldn’t have been more than seven years old.

“No more monsters!” she screamed, kicking me in the legs. “Go away!”

“It’s okay!” I tried my best to hold her, but it was like holding a wildcat. Thalia looked too stunned to move. She still had her spear and shield ready.

“Thalia,” I said, “put your shield away! You’re scaring her!”

Thalia unfroze. She touched the shield and it shrank back into a bracelet. She dropped her spear.

“Hey, little girl,” she said, sounding more gentle than I’d ever heard. “It’s all right. We’re not going to hurt you. I’m Thalia. This is Luke.”

“Monsters!” she wailed.

“No,” I promised. The poor thing wasn’t fighting as hard, but she was shivering like crazy, terrified of us. “But we know about monsters,” I said. “We fight them too.”

I held her, more to comfort than restrain now. Eventually she stopped kicking. She felt cold. Her ribs were bony under her flannel pajamas. I wondered how long this little girl had gone without eating. She was even younger than I had been when I ran away.

Despite her fear, she looked at me with large eyes. They were startlingly gray, beautiful and intelligent. A demigod — no doubt about it. I got the feeling she was powerful — or she would be, if she survived.

“You’re like me?” she asked, still suspicious, but she sounded a little hopeful, too.

“Yeah,” I promised. “We’re…” I hesitated, not sure if she understood what she was, or if she’d ever heard the word demigod. I didn’t want to scare her even worse. “Well, it’s hard to explain, but we’re monster fighters. Where’s your family?”

The little girl’s expression turned hard and angry. Her chin trembled. “My family hates me. They don’t want me. I ran away.”

My heart felt like it was cracking into pieces. She had such pain in her voice — familiar pain. I looked at Thalia, and we made a silent decision right there. We would take care of this kid. After what had happened with Halcyon Green… well, it seemed like fate. We’d watched one demigod die for us. Now we’d found this little girl. It was almost like a second chance.

Thalia knelt next to me. She put her hand on the little girl’s shoulder. “What’s your name, kiddo?”

“Annabeth.”

I couldn’t help smiling. I’d never heard that name before, but it was pretty, and it seemed to fit her. “Nice name,” I told her. “I tell you what, Annabeth. You’re pretty fierce. We could use a fighter like you.”

Her eyes widened. “You could?”

“Oh, yeah,” I said earnestly. Then a sudden thought struck me. I reached for Hal’s dagger and pulled it from my belt. It will protect its owner, Hal had said. He had gotten it from the little girl he had saved. Now fate had given us the chance to save another little girl.

“How’d you like a real monster-slaying weapon?” I asked her. “This is Celestial bronze. Works a lot better than a hammer.”

Annabeth took the dagger and studied it in awe. I know… she was seven years old at most. What was I thinking giving her a weapon? But she was a demigod. We have to defend ourselves. Hercules was only a baby when he strangled two snakes in his cradle. By the time I was nine, I’d fought for my life a dozen times. Annabeth could use a weapon.

“Knives are only for the bravest and quickest fighters,” I told her. My voice caught as I remembered Hal Green, and how he’d died to save us. “They don’t have the reach or power of a sword, but they’re easy to conceal and they can find weak spots in your enemy’s armor. It takes a clever warrior to use a knife. I have a feeling you’re pretty clever.”

Annabeth beamed at me, and for that instant, all my problems seemed to melt. I felt as if I’d done one thing right. I swore to myself I would never let this girl come to harm.

“I am clever!” she said.

Thalia laughed and tousled Annabeth’s hair. Just like that — we had a new companion.

“We’d better get going, Annabeth,” Thalia said. “We have a safe house on the James River. We’ll get you some clothes and food.”

Annabeth’s smile wavered. For a moment, she got that wild look in her eyes again. “You’re… you’re not going to take me back to my family? Promise?”

I swallowed the lump out of my throat. Annabeth was so young, but she’d learned a hard lesson, just like Thalia and I had. Our parents had failed us. The gods were harsh and cruel and aloof. Demigods had only each other.

I put my hand on Annabeth’s shoulder. “You’re part of our family now. And I promise I’m not going to fail you like our families did us. Deal?”

“Deal!” she said happily, clutching her new dagger.

Thalia picked up her spear. She smiled at me with approval. “Now, come on. We can’t stay put for long!”

I'm not crying, YOU crying!

[ddaengju]

.

[jowrites]

Thank God for cats - Jake Sim DRABBLE

Part 1

IDOL!JAKE! X F!READER FATHER!JAKE X MOTHER!READER!

In which Jake's daughter wants to hear the story how her parents met and fell in love for the 100th time...

TW: Mental health issues, depression mentioned, mentions of killing self, angst, semi cheating, emotional cheating, sad boi Jake, jealousy, fluff, neaurodivergent reader, mentions of pet death, cursing, kissing, groping

Jake sat with his daughter on the floor in her room, finishing up play time before bed. She had on her pajamas already and just had those few minutes before he had to put her to bed. He smiled down fondly at her as she handed him his items and held out her tiny palm to him.

“That will be $100 please!” She said and his eyes gaped.

“$100? For a banana and some eggs?” He said, gasping. “I don’t think that’s right, Miss.”

“The cashier is never wrong,” She said, folding her arms over her chest.

“Well, in this instance she is,” He said, folding his arms over his chest in a copy of her. “I feel scammed.”

“Fine. You can’t take the groceries then. Next time, make sure you have the money, Sir,” She said, huffing at him.

“And next time, try not to scam your customers!” He retorted back, sticking his tongue out. 

“Okay, time for bed,” YN came into the room then. “It’s daddy’s bedtime too.”

“Aww, can I stay up a little longer?” Their daughter pouted. 

“Nope. Into bed my little Layla,” He said lifting up off the ground, her giggles filling the air. He placed her in her small bed, tucking her in and getting her favorite stuffed animal, the white plush dog, and tucking it beside her.

“Goodnight, Layla. Sweet dreams, I love you!” YN said, leaning in and giving her a sweet butterfly kiss on the nose before getting up and walking out of the room.

“Daddy?” She said, “Tell me the story again about how you and mommy met.”

“Again?” He asked. “Okay, let’s get comfortable…”

He hopped into bed with her and got comfortable beside her, she nestled into his side, her little frame fitting perfectly in his arms. She hugged the plush to her little body as he kissed the top of her head.

“It all started on a late night walk…”

10 Years Before

Jake does not like to think of himself as an emotional man, he normally hides behind a mask and puts on the perfect smile and hopes everything he feels just goes away. For the most part, that always works for him, but why wasn’t it working this time? Jake couldn’t wait until it was late and he and the boys could be dropped off and he could rest his eyes. He was so exhausted, drained from the everyday schedules back to back and not having the time to even breathe. 

Ding

New message

Jake ignored it, placing his phone on the table beside him as he waited for the last two members to finish their side of things before they could all leave. 

“Is it Jiyoon?” Jay asked from his spot on the couch. Jake shrugged but he assumed it probably was. The last conversation he had with his girlfriend was not one he wanted to remember or one he wanted to even think about at that moment. It wasn’t a nice one, one where she threw curse words at him and reminded him just how useless he was. He simply walked away without much care. If she wanted to leave him, he wouldn’t blame her.

“You know, you won’t be able to ignore her forever, at least text her back,” Jay said, coming up and patting him on the shoulder. “Come on, time to go.”

Jake nodded, picking up his phone and walking behind Jay as the rest of the boys all followed suit. They all thanked the staff and began walking out to the vans to finally go home. Schedules these days were rough and Jake didn’t know how much longer he had before he would crack. He pushed those thoughts aside as he sat down in the van and closed his eyes, embracing the little moments of peace he had before he had to get back to reality.

Jake expected sleep to come to him the moment he laid down in bed but it never came. He kept thinking he was just a terrible person and he was being a terrible boyfriend and he hated it. He hated being like this. He read Jiyoon’s message and immediately felt guilty. She had come by and dropped off food for him and the boys and she told him to make sure he gets some rest because she knows how he can be. Even when they fight, she still cares about him and it drives him crazy. He sighed before getting up and throwing on a  hoodie and a hat, grabbing his mask and walking out the door. He needed some air.

When he was feeling like this, he always came to the Han river and it always seemed to cheer him up. He could always clear his mind and think better when he walked alongside it. It was way past 2 AM by now but that didn’t stop him from coming out and having this small moment of freedom. This small moment to himself. His shoulders were constantly feeling heavy and his feet walked with shackles as he marched alongside the river strip, he didn’t know why but he wanted to cry. He didn’t let himself though, he knew this would soon pass over and everything would be fine. 

He stopped in his tracks and in his view he saw a girl in the grass sobbing her eyes out. Concern filled his face, he looked around and saw nobody in sight, just her and his curiosity got the best of him because suddenly his tired feet were walking towards her. 

“Uhm, hello?” He asked from behind her. She still cried, not noticing his presence and he cleared his throat loudly. She didn’t budge. “Hello? Are you okay?”

He tapped her shoulder and she yelped, startled front he tapped and looked up at him. He jumped back from her loud screech and screamed in response to her getting startled. Her startle startled him. He stared at her with big eyes as she stood up, holding out a hand. 

“Please, I don’t have any money. Just let a girl cry in peace,” She said, and he quickly began shaking his head. 

“Oh…oh no! No, I just wanted to see if you’re okay?” He explained, and she sighed, her shoulders let loose.

“Thank God you’re not like a creep or anything,” She said. “I’m sad.”

“That makes two of us,” He said, chuckling at his small joke. She just stared at him. “I mean, are you okay?”

“No.” 

She went back and sat down, sniffling again to herself and Jake looked around not wanting to leave the stranger alone. She wasn’t from here, she was a foreigner and he wasn’t sure if he should leave her alone out here. Sometimes, especially for foreigners, it wasn’t too safe.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, taking a seat beside her.

“My cat died,” She said, just as she began to sob again and hug something to her chest. Jake noticed it was a small blanket. “T-this w-was his.”

Jake didn’t know what came over him, but watching the scene before him and seeing this stranger in such a vulnerable state without any worry of who would see her, brought his eyes to tears. He began to cry, trying to hide his own sniffles as he thought about his own pet, his dog Layla. The girl suddenly heard Jake beside her and she calmed down and looked at him.

“Why are you crying? He was my cat!” She cried out, huffing and sobbing.

“I’m crying because you’re crying!” He cried back.

And just like that, the two strangers sat beside each other and just cried over the death of a cat, together.

It was around 3 AM now when Jake walked out of the 7 Eleven with two hot teas in his hand. He offered one to the girl who sat on the bench waiting for him, she silently thanked him. Their eyes were puffy, noses were read, and together they sat there sniffling next to each other as if they’ve been friends for years. The blanket she had was wrapped over her shoulders and she held the cup between her two hands. Jake can get a better view of her face now, seeing her beauty and youth. He never felt so odd, crying together with a stranger over a cat he didn’t even know the name of. He knew the members would never let him live this down.

“What’s your name?” The girls asked, suddenly breaking him from his dreaded mind.

“Oh, I’m Jake,” he said, holding out a hand. She took it and nodded.

“I’m YN. Thank you for crying with me, Jake. Thanks for making sure I wasn’t alone during this time,” She said, tears welling up again and she quickly pushed them aside and gave him a small smile.

“You welcome,” he said, giving her a smile back. “What was your cat's name?”

“His name was Ophelia, but I called him Ophy for short,” She said. She took out her phone and showed him her lockscreen. The screen showed a beautiful gray tabby on the front, thick and looking at the camera as if posing.

“You named your cat Ophelia who was a boy?” He asked. “That’s interesting, I guess.”

“I thought he was a she when I first found him,” she said. “He had some tiny balls.”

Jake let out a laugh at that. His laughter brought laughter upon her and together the two were just laughing together.

“Man, people will think we’re insane,” he said.

“Who cares what people think? To be honest, my insanity normally keeps people away and they run. Don’t know why you stuck around and mother towards me tonight,” She said. 

“You were literally crying, I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said.

“And I appreciate that. Well, I don’t want to waste more of your time,” She said, standing from her spot. “Thanks for keeping me company, Jake. Uhm…yeah.”

She suddenly turned around and started walking away, leaving Jake to just stare after her. He didn’t know why or what compelled him to do this, but as she was about to round the corner he chased after her. Once he caught up to her she noticed he was behind her and turned around. She lifted an eyebrow at him as he caught his breath, she just looked at him confused.

“C-can I have your number?”

******************

Present time

Jake heard giggles from beside him, looking down and seeing Layla giggling to herself.

“Why are you laughing?” He asked.

“Because you and mommy were crying together when you first met,” she said. “That’s kind of lame, daddy.”

“Wow, after everything I do and I’m still so lame to you,” Jake said, sighing.

“You’re lame but also really brave for getting her number then, and Thank God you got her number,” Layla said.

“Hm? Why?” he asked her.

“Because if you didn’t you might have never seen her again, duh! And then I would never be here,” she said, matter of factly.

“You know, you might be right. But Mommy is my soulmate, Layla, and soulmates always find each other…Let’s continue…so that’s how Mommy and Daddy became friends…”

**********************

Past

Ding

New message

Ding

New message

YN: I didn’t know you were an idol!

YN: 2 weeks and you failed to leave out that information. Very rude.

Jake: Is that a problem?

YN: No lol Just please tell me nobody knows. Kpoppies are crazy and I’m too young to die.

Jake: Don’t worry lol nobody will find out we’re friends

YN: Gucci hehe

Jake was about to type his reply when their manager walked into the room and began to talk to them over the upcoming schedules for the weeks to come. Normally company meetings didn’t last this long but things have been going on in the company and they’ve been coming in late. They were preparing for an upcoming comeback on top of touring still. Things were moving so fast and Jake could not slow down even if he wanted to. On top of things, things with his girlfriend seemed to be in the same state. They were working things out, but Jake couldn’t help but feel like he was wasting her time. They never saw each other which was the root of most of their problems, him not prioritizing her enough, but it’s not like he could just drop everything and go running to her every moment she wanted. She knew what she signed up for the moment they started going out.

“Alright boys, good work! We’re going to give you guys the next 3 days off before schedules start back up,” their manager spoke up, eliciting the room with cheers from the boys. Finally, some rest.

“As of now, you’re on a 3 day vacation. No funny business and let me know your exact whereabouts. Got it?”

********

Jake found himself outside the cat cafe covered up and hands in his pockets. YN gave him the time he could come by when she was closing up shop and he could come see the cats if he wanted. He mostly wanted to see her again, something about her just drew him in and he felt like he could be himself for once. Since they've exchanged numbers and started texting, he was intrigued by the way her mind worked. She always seemed to say outside of the box things and he appreciated that kind of thinking. She also never judged him and he quickly became comfortable enough around her. 

“Are you going to stand out here and be a weirdo or are you going to come in?” YN said, snapping him from his daze as she approached him. “Hey, if you prefer to see the cats from outside that’s fine, you’ll be missing out on George though. He’s really the best manager.”

Jake chuckled before following her inside. She quickly flipped the sign and locked the door so nobody would come running in and disrupt Jake’s peace if they recognized him. Jake took in the place, the cute beige interior, the colors of neutrals and browns. It was very cozy. Cats were spread out everywhere, most of them asleep and some of them coming up to him right away and rubbing up on his legs. He knelt down and began petting their fur, the two cats who greeted him.

“That’s Yellow Mustard and Avocado Toast,” YN said, walking by and wiping some of the tables in the process. She was still closing up the cafe.

“You have a very strange way of naming things,” he said.

“I’m really not that creative, Yellow Mustard got mustard on him one time and we can’t sell Avocado toast anymore because of him,” YN explained, pointing to each respective cat.

“Uh, do I want to know?” He asked.

“Not really,” She replied.

Some other cats jumped down from  their spots and came over to Jake. He quietly sat on the floor, enjoying the cat’s company. He noticed then some of the cats had collars on them with name tags. He noticed ‘Luke, I am your father’ on one, ‘Lana Del Gay’ on another and some other weird wacky ones that brought laughter out of him.

“Who picks the names?” Jake asked.

“We all do, sometimes customers. It depends,” YN said, shrugging as she went back to the counter to finish closing up. “Oh, do you want anything to drink?”

“Naww, I was thinking we can go grab something after,” Jake suggested and YN nodded.

“Sounds good. Also, how did things go with your girlfriend? Did you talk to her?” She asked.

“The same, we didn’t fight but we didn’t make any progress either,” He said, sighing and standing up and coming to her. “It just doesn’t feel like it’s worth it anymore.”

“Do you still like her?” YN asked.

“I don’t know,” he said, and he was being honest. “I just feel like I’m wasting her time and she is just holding onto something I feel like isn’t there anymore.”

“Jake, if that’s the case you need to end it with her. It's not good to drag it out like this. That’s not fair to her or you,” She explained, before letting out a gasp and rushing off to somewhere in the back. “I forgot to turn off the sink back here, shit! You were saying?”

“I didn’t say anything, will George be mad?” Jake asked as he watched her finish up.

“I don’t know, ask him yourself,” She said, nodding to the side where Jake saw a black cat in a tie.

“That’s George?” He asked. “I thought he was your manager?”

“He is,” she said. “He keeps me in check.”

“YN, that’s a cat,” he said.

“Your point? Ain’t that right George, you run the place,” She said, walking to the cat and giving him some pets. “Ha, Thank God for cats, am I right?”

********

Jake and YN sat on the floor in her small apartment, 2 bottles of soju had already been opened and down and they were working on their 3rd. They picked up some food on their way out of the cafe and YN offered to go somewhere quiet which Jake quickly accepted. Her place was extremely cozy, and she had another cat who was white laying on the small sofa behind them. Jake was absentmindedly rubbing the cat's fur which the cat easily felt happy and purred to. The two unlikely friends ate fried chicken and laughed together, talking about their lives and embarrassing things that happened. It was just so easy talking to her.

“I haven’t felt this alive in a while,” Jake admitted, his cheeks flushed from the soju, and he felt like just talking. 

“Why’s that?” She asked, taking a bite of her chicken. “Do you want to kill yourself?”

“Jesus, YN,” Jake said, stunned by her straightforwardness. 

“What? Usually when people say things like that they want to die,” She said, her shoulder shrugging. “I’ve been there too, I understand.”

“No, I am not going to kill myself,” he clarified. “But I do feel like I’m drowning.”

“Well, good,” Yn said.

“What’s good?” He asked.

“Good that you don’t want to take your life,” YN said. “We just became friends and I would be sad over your death too. I already lost a friend.”

Jake understood her, remembering how she just lost her cat which he learned was everything to her. How this cat brought her so much joy and comfort as she was in a  foreign Country away from home. YN came here for a job that quickly fell through, and the night she quit that job she found her cat Ophy. He had been with her through all her hard times here, and even led her to her current job at the cat cafe. 

“And if you feel like you’re drowning, just remember we float,” YN said. “Whatever you’re going through, you’ll get through it. And if you need a hand don’t worry, Roger and I will extend our hands so you don’t sink. It’s not fun going through things alone. Talk to someone, cry it out..crying always makes me feel better so don’t be afraid to cry. Embrace it like you did the night we met.”

“Embrace it, okay. I’ll embrace it more since you told me to,” Jake said, smiling at her.

“It’s okay to not be okay, you know? We’re all human,” YN said. “Just don’t marinate in it, just let it out.”

“You have a very odd way with words, but it’s making me feel better,” Jake said. 

“We’re all just a bunch of meat of all sorts of different flavors! Only difference is we shouldn’t marinate in things, that’d be cannibalism,” YN said and Jake let out a big laugh.

“What are you even saying? And why do I understand it? Jake said.

“I’m right!” YN defended. “I’m also drunk.”

*******

Jake had laughed so much since that night. He could feel himself slowly coming back to life. He felt more awake and more excited during the day. Anytime he was tired or disappointed in something, or a performance YN was right there cheering him on and being honest with him. She was such a great listener and anytime he had stress he would take her advice and his emotions became more clear instead of so stagnant and everywhere. His black and white world was becoming full of color, and the ice in his chest was starting to melt away and he could finally breathe. 

There was one thing he knew he had to take care of: Jiyoon.

YN was very clear on her boundaries with him, keeping their friendship and never letting him cross a boundary she knew he’d regret. She knew he wasn’t a cheater and she would not let him become one. Friendzoning Jake was how she constantly set boundaries and if he ever tried to break through new barriers she would shut him down. He was in an unhappy relationship and she was aware, but she was not going to be this outlet for him to come to when he was lonely. He had to take care of that himself.

Jake didn’t like the term ‘breaking up with you’, he honestly hated it even if it was coming from him. He felt worse, but he knew he had to do this. This was for him. Throughout these months he realized he should have done this a long time ago. This had nothing to do with his newfound friendship with YN, he was checked out of the relationship long before he even met her. He spends more time talking with YN than with Jiyoon, and YN helped him come to his senses that he’d been checked out long before anything. He had feelings for YN but he still had yet to find her feelings for him. She did nothing but be careful and strictly be nothing more than just his friend. His very good friend and she helped him regulate his emotions more and come to a more emotional maturity level. He wished he didn’t need a crazy cat lady to help him realize this, but it turned out that way.

“Oh? Jake,” Jiyoon said, as she opened her door. 

“I came to see you,” Jake said, Jiyoon stepped aside and let him come into her apartment. The place always looked the same, nothing new to him. He didn’t move from the doorway though, and Jiyoon knew he didn’t plan to stay.

“You look good, so much healthier,” Jiyoon said, tucking some of his hair behind his ear.

“I’ve been doing better. What about you? You cut your hair,” He said, noticing how her long hair was no longer long and now cut to her shoulders.

“Ah, it was bothering me. I don’t know if you remember when I texted you the photo,” Jiyoon said, looking away from him. He didn’t remember and that just made him feel more awful. 

“I’ve been-”

“Really busy, I know. Your company just doesn’t give you a break, does it?” She cut him off. 

“Jiyoon, I’m really sorry,” he said. “Really, really fucking sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, Jake. I understand. This is what I signed up for when I started dating you, remember?” Jiyoon stepped forward trying to embrace Jake, but he only stepped back causing a frown to form on her face.

“No, it’s not okay, Jiyoon. I think we’ve both known for a while,” Jake said, and when he looked into her eyes he could see the tears in her eyes and he could hear her heart shatter. “We have to end this so we’re no longer suffering anymore.”

“Jake, we can work this out, please,” Jiyoon said, crying and gripping the material of his shirt.

“Jiyoon, I don’t want to. I’m no longer in this relationship emotionally, mentally, physically even…and you don’t deserve that. I’ve been wasting your time and you deserve better, I’m sorry,” He said, taking her hands in his and squeezing them one last time before dropping them to her sides gently. “Thank you for all the wonderful memories. You’re such a beautiful person inside and out, I hope whoever comes along treats you better. Be well, okay?”

Jake kissed the top of her head before opening the door and walking out. He knew if he looked back he’d be shattered even more. This is not what he thought would ever happen between them, but it did and he only has himself to blame. He let a few tears fall from his eyes before gathering himself up and putting on his hat and mask, covering himself up and walking out into the night. As he turned the corner he dropped down to the floor and sat there comforting himself. He brought his knees to his chest as he let out a few breaths. It was over, it was done. Suddenly, he felt something rubbing up on his leg and when he lifted his head he saw a gray tabby, rubbing up on his side and comforting him. He smiled and began to pet the cat, letting the cat come up on his lap and give his hands some licks.

“Thank God for cats.”

To be continued...

[annaphoenix1994]

Michael Brings Your Daughter to Work to Visit You

Reader x 2018 Michael Myers

*Sorry, I love Peepaw Myers with all my heart and even though OG and RZ have a special place in my heart, Peepaw overtakes it. ❤️*

You had been having a rough day at work. You had been running late and got stuck by a crossing train, causing you to be ten minutes late to your job.

You hated being late, especially if it was for a new job.

What was funny was that you were a minute late the day before due to school traffic, so you left home ten minutes earlier to take a long route to bypass the school zones.

That was until an idle train sat at the crossing, dividing you from your place of work. The only other way around being two miles away and through the west end of town, sure to hit traffic yet again as well as other traffic lights.

Having no time to text Michael to let him know you made it to work OK, you rushed inside to clock in, getting straight to work in hopes of making up for lost time.

And yes, Michael hasn’t destroyed the phone you gave him to keep in contact with him throughout the day.

And no, he doesn’t like the little device, but if it keeps in touch with you when you’re not around, he’s not complaining.

However, it made you laugh when he would randomly text you a letter because he doesn’t know how texting works.

But by golly he could send photos of what he was doing when you asked. Nine times out of ten it would be a picture of what he was working on.

And no, he’d never take or send you a selfie. Although the thought is nice.

It was like passing a Judicial Bill to get him to take a photo with you at family events.

He really liked to take things apart and put them back together.

Although you’d think he likes to make weapons…

You had just returned to work after maternity leave, frustrated that you couldn’t get back on a normal sleeping routine due to the long break.

It was late Fall and freezing temperatures began to present as the days went on.

Even with no ice on the road, Michael worried about your commute every day and began to get nervous after not hearing from you for roughly an hour.

Sending you a text message first, he simply asked: “Did you make it to work okay?”

You had heard your phone go off, but couldn’t check it right away due to an early morning rush coming into the office - meaning that paperwork needed to be done by noon and finalized by three o’clock.

You worked as a receptionist for a veterinarian's office in the middle of town. You enjoyed it because you got to see different animals every day and every shift wasn’t the same. Although it did have the downside, which tugged at your heartstrings.

Working hastily, you had skipped your breakfast and was dying for noon, growing frustrated that your lunch break would take place at 12:30 instead of 12:00 due to a Friday morning rush.

With the time now being 12:15, you looked up to greet the next client after hearing the bell on the door ring. Smiling instantly at the little infant, you immediately recognized your daughter as Michael held her securely in his arms.

Unfortunately, Michael was not the true father of your little girl. However, he had saved you from a nasty and abusive situation while you were pregnant with her - the father, and your now ex-boyfriend, didn’t live to tell his side of the story.

You had known Michael for years prior, tending to him and many other patients at Smith’s Grove, serving as a nurse for nearly fifteen years before thinking you had settled down with the man of your dreams. However, it was not the case.

You were grateful that Michael accepted you even though you had another man’s child, but he took the child as his own to be a better father than your ex - and now dead - boyfriend would be.

Smiling at him, he returned the gesture and sat down in the waiting area, admiring your little girl as she was awake and aware of her surroundings, her big brown eyes looking at the dogs and lights in the waiting area.

Once you were dismissed from your break, you greeted him and your daughter with a smile, Michael bending down to level the baby to you as you kissed her temple, never getting tired of the “new baby” smell. “I definitely wasn’t expecting this. Thank you.” You smiled, greeting him with a kiss.

God, he smelled good.

“You look beautiful today.” He complimented, loving you in scrubs, especially the blue bottoms with the patterned top. He never got tired of it.

“Thank you. I can say the same about you,” You blushed. “What do you want for lunch today?”

“I brought you something. Figured you didn’t want to get stuck in traffic for a half hour.”

You smiled, nodding in agreement before Michael handed you the baby, exiting the building to retrieve the lunch he had brought you, which was your favorite lunch - leftovers from the supper before.

[wxywardsun]

[The Next Door Neighbor Verse]

(An Introductory post!)

Basically the “next door neighbor verse” is a supernatural AU I came up with that completely ignores the finale. Ever wanted to know where most retired hunters go? There’s well known cozy neighborhood that a lot of retired hunters go! Sam,Dean,and Cas all decided to move into this neighborhood and start fresh with their lives.

There’s you! Four years after the Winchester brothers retire with their angel following behind them,you find yourself retiring as well,and moving into the same neighborhood that the legendary team is in.

How about you get to know your neighbors?

Dean Winchester (Retired Hunter turned Mechanic)

Four years later,45 years old,a dog named miracle and a cozy home to call his own? He’s living the dream!

I’d imagine his look changed over the 4 years,imagine what Jensen looks like now.

Basically Beau Arlen but Dean!

He’s a mechanic and a damn good one at that

And he was more than willing to help ya move in

He would definitely be a lil more stocky,thicker arms,legs,the whole nine yards!

Still Dean Winchester just a tad bit softer.

And definitely still as charming as ever

He’s also taken after Bobby! He tells you “I’m retired that’s for sure,but I’ll be damned if I don’t give tips out to any hunter that needs it”

You can FEEL the Texas accent in his voice

You couldn’t thank him enough for helping you

He’s so sweet!

‘Welcome To the neighborhood pie’ anyone?

Friendly Retaliation with ‘Thanks for helping me move in’ brownies

He very much appreciated them

The slowest,slow burn,romance EVER (in a good way!)

Sam Winchester (Retired Hunter turned Lawyer)

40 years old,slightly longer hair and grown out scruff. in short? He hasn’t changed a bit!

Still as tall as a damn skyscraper that’s for sure..

He definitely has an Australian Shepherd named Bones (combining the two things about the dogs he owned previously)

Unfortunately you weren’t able to meet him till after he got off work

Definitely a wave and “hello” moment all casual “nice to meet you,I could show you around if you’d like?” Type of meeting

All in all,so damn sweet,he would 100% take his time telling you about the neighborhood!

Do I even need to say slow burn? Slow burn!

How DO you get closer to him? Hmm…

Castiel (or Cas) (Retired Hunter,pretty angel turned baker)

Like billions of years old

Looks a tad bit like Endverse!Cas! Grey hairs,a bit more stubble (mhmm,dilfism beam) arm hair,literally thee dilf of all time

In this au,yeah he does have to eat,he can taste things,and sleep,cause it makes things more interesting

He became a baker because he likes to busy his hands and baking is the perfect outlet for that

Also pastries,pies,the greatest cake you will EVER taste,he loves the art of baking!

Very much a Cas-like first meeting,somewhat short,probably heard your name around the hunting world and brought that up. A little stern but you could tell he was warming up already.

Definitely left a cookie basket with a business card on your front step,name on said card in blue ink. “From : Castiel”

So sweet! Like the cookies.

You’ll get closer over time,but first? How about baking a “thank you” cake?

[Requests are open! Feel free to drop them in my inbox or ask about this AU. See y’all around!]

[xtruss]

‘I Can’t Believe Miss P is Naked in Front of Me’: The Affair With a Teacher That Changed My Life

Joe Gibson was 17, at school and hoping to get the grades that would earn him a scholarship at Oxford. But then a casual flirtation with his 35-year-old Spanish teacher turned into something far more serious

— Joe Gibson | Saturday 8 July 2023 | Autobiography and Memoir

Illustration: Anna Parini/The Guardian

Just going out to see Nick, friend from school, might stay over, bye!” Ned and Celia, the family friends I’m staying with, barely look up from their enormous dining table. And I’m out the door. I take the most direct route. Sod being seen. I ring her bell and I’m buzzed in. My Spanish teacher, Miss P – Ali – is standing in the doorway, looking flustered. She grabs my hand and pulls me in, kicking the door shut behind me, and before I can say a word or take off my jacket, she’s kissing me. We stand in the hallway for ages, just snogging. Once or twice she holds my head and looks at me intently, then kisses me again. I forget trying to find words to say and let myself soar.

Then, without hesitation or any look or pause, she takes me to her bedroom and undresses me. I undress her. And there we are, naked. Very naked. I want to make excuses for looking ridiculous with swimming trunk tan lines, and not being built like the first XV boys. Perhaps sensing my self-consciousness, she speaks, and her voice is warm and sexy. “Your hair is lighter.”

“It’s the sun, I expect, and my sister dyed it … it really doesn’t matter. You’re … ” I want to say something nice in return. I don’t care that I’m looking her up and down, I’m probably salivating like a cartoon dog, but I can’t believe she’s all naked in front of me. I say the first thing, anything, that comes into my head. “You’re completely naked and your skin’s all olivey and milky.”

When we have sex, it is slow and gentle. Probably a good thing, because anything more energetic and it would be all over very quickly, for me. Afterwards, we talk for a bit. She tells me she wrote to me not long after I went to Italy for the Easter break to tell me to forget about her and that nothing could happen between us. But then she says that in one of my postcards I wrote about going to a party with some Italian teenagers and she didn’t like that, and then she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I tell her how I felt being so far away and that I was aching to get back, even though I didn’t know what would be waiting for me. We don’t say much more. We look at each other a lot. Then we sleep.

When at last we venture out of the bedroom, it’s already after midday. We don’t bother dressing. Miss P doesn’t open the big shutters, which I find exciting, like we’re fugitives. We listen to music, talk about books, eat and drink and fuck, then, as the sky darkens, we return to the bedroom.

We do exactly the same the next day and night and I’m in heaven. By the third morning, I know all about her family; where she went to school and what she did at university; that she had a serious, long-term relationship when she was in her 20s, but it ended badly; how she fell in love with Spain and would love to show me Barcelona.

I tell her quite a few things as well, but I can’t compete. At 17, I don’t have anything like as much to say about my life. Really, I haven’t started living it properly yet, and she’s 35 after all. So, I tell her mainly about my dreams and ambitions to be a singer or an actor and that, when I was younger, I wanted to be a ballet dancer or racing driver. That I’m excited about trying for an Oxford scholarship next year, but crapping myself about the entrance exams. I tell her again about my parents’ separation and how that came so soon after my mother’s cancer treatment. That my parents enrolled me in this school, or the “top public school” as Mum insists on telling everyone, 150 miles from my home. That she will be moving house in the summer so that I’ll be living with her for my final year. That I haven’t spoken to Dad since Christmas. I tell her about my uncle and that I want to go sailing with him when I’ve finished school, perhaps even across the Atlantic.

That evening I put my clothes back on and, this time, when we hold each other by the front door, I am not sad or frustrated. Everything has changed again, but it feels good.

“See you at school,” I grin.

It is in the spring of 1992 that what starts as a casual flirtation between me and Miss P becomes rapidly more intimate – partnering her in the dance revue, the lift home in her car, the goodbye kiss, and finally, just before the end of term, the invitation to her flat, where one thing leads to another, and an afternoon on her sofa sees a lot more than kissing.

“Have a lovely time in Italy,” she says, as I go out the door, after that first time.

“You, too,” I reply, automatically.

When can I see you again? I want to ask, but I am afraid of the answer. I started to speak but she beats me to it.

“Don’t get seen. Just walk straight out and down the road. And listen: don’t tell anyone.” She grabs my sleeve. “You won’t tell anyone, will you? It has to be a secret.”

When school resumes, every lesson starts with a lecture about how academically crucial this term is. How the exams coming up are of critical significance for our final year and will determine not only what places we might be able to secure at university, but have a bearing of great magnitude on our career prospects, which in turn will impact on the house we hope to buy, the car we drive, the clothes we wear, whom we marry, the holidays we take, the lives of our children and children’s children.

A group of us share stories of our Easter breaks: Tom’s off-piste skiing in Courchevel; Chris’s driving lessons with a promise of a new car if he gets straight As this term; Ant’s National Youth Orchestra tour. I mention Italy but don’t get very far. Everyone wants to talk about Glastonbury: who’s going, who’s got a tent, which bands are playing. I lie back and stare up at the pale, cloudless sky and let them get on with it. They can jump ahead, but I’m quite happy losing myself in thoughts of last weekend.

Nick is speculating about which girls from our year group might be going to the festival. I tune in, but a part of me wants to jump up and yell, Who gives a shit about those girls? I fucked Miss P. What do you think of that? Boom!

“I’m wrapped around her, stroking her breasts. I call them breasts now, not tits; more grown up”

The look on their faces would be priceless. Maybe I wouldn’t say fucked; it’s too harsh. Slept with? Made love to?

“What are you grinning about, Joe?” I look up again. They’re all staring at me. “Nothing,” I mumble, then add, “girls.”

This seems to satisfy them, and they return to their conversation. The fact is, I can never, will never, tell them about me and Miss P.

‘So, you’re coming to my sketching classes,” she says, referring to the extracurricular activity she’s going to be running on Thursday afternoons. We’re lying in bed. She’s on her back and I’m wrapped around her, stroking her breasts. I call them breasts now, not tits; more grown up. We’ve been in bed for over an hour and it’s still not dark. We didn’t even finish the first glass of wine.

“Did you get many sign-ups?” I ask, hoping not.

“Actually, only four.”

“Still too many.” I bury my head in her pillow.

“Hey, at least we’ll be spending time together.” She slides out of bed and disappears to the bathroom. I stare at the ceiling and try not to ask myself questions, but they come. Like, what is this? How did it happen? What’s next? I don’t have any answers, so I lie back and distract myself with the sounds in her flat, in her road. The toilet flushes. It’s weird but sort of sexy.

We stay up late, sitting on the living room floor, with pizza and chocolate and wine. “Would you like to watch a film?” she asks, and crawls over to a box by the television. I join to inspect her collection. It’s mostly European cinema and the odd costume drama. We select Manon des Sources and snuggle up on the sofa.

Halfway through the film she asks, “How are you going to get home?”

“Home? What, tomorrow?”

“You can’t stay here tonight, you know that. You’ve – we’ve – both got school tomorrow.”

I’m gutted. “I thought I’d be staying here tonight. Do I have to go?”

“We can’t risk you being seen in the morning. Some of the teachers use this road as a cut-through. You could easily be spotted.” She’s practical when I want her to be apologetic and as disappointed as me.

“I’ll walk, then.” I get up.

“Wait, you don’t have to go yet,” she protests. “There’s the rest of the film.”

“No, thanks, it’s too late. I’d better go.”

I feel hurt and stupider by the minute. I take my clothes into the bathroom and dress quickly. She doesn’t knock. When I come out, she’s standing by the door.

“I’m sorry,” she says and kisses my face. “We just have to be so careful. You understand, don’t you? We mustn’t attract attention.”

“I understand,” I repeat robotically. I leave and walk home, straight through the school campus, smoking.

I’m embarrassed by my behaviour, and it’s made worse when I have Miss P for Spanish, last lesson on Saturday morning. She has the expressionless statue face down to a T, giving nothing away, whereas I’m feeling crap about last night. It was so childish of me to strop out, but I’d waited all week to be with her. She could have said something earlier in the evening, then I’d have known what was coming.

She goes around handing back our exercise books and places mine in front of me. With her body and face turned away, she almost imperceptibly taps the cover twice with her index finger. Something tells me not to open the book, so I put it in my bag.

Back in the house, no one around, I dig it out. I don’t find anything at first but one of the pages catches as I’m leafing through, and out falls a tiny quarter-size envelope with a single “J” on the front. Inside, a little card: Sorry. Come back tonight, for a proper night. XX

It’s November 1992. I stand in her sitting room, in my blazer and tie, my school bag still hooked over my shoulder. Ali’s by the windows, closing the shutters. Despite her efforts, they don’t close fully; there are always gaps. She gives up, drops her arms by her sides, and looks at me, at last.

“I’m pregnant.”

“How?” is all I can ask, my bag slipping.

“You tell me how. Obviously, you weren’t telling the truth.”

“What? What does that mean?” I can hear my voice rising already.

“You said your balls didn’t drop until you were in your teens,” she says, adding, “or something,” sounding equally defensive and on the attack. “And that means, because I read about it, I assumed – ”

“You assumed … what?” I cut her off, my words thick in my throat, slow with disbelief, my neck burning, my bag strap slipping through damp hands.

“That you couldn’t have children,” she says, in a tone only fractionally less certain than before.

I stare at the floor, don’t answer for a whole minute.

I want to scream, “Is this a fucking joke? What fucking planet are you actually on? Instead, I just stand there, my head ringing in alarm.

I dare not open my mouth until the voice in my head has stopped swearing.

“It’s a phrase. A thing you say, that’s all.” I’m struggling to find the right words, made harder by the realisation that this grownup – someone twice my age – a teacher for God’s sake, doesn’t know this. My eyes fixed to a spot on the carpet, I say, “It’s basic biology, Ali. How don’t … I mean … didn’t you study puberty?”

“Yes, but … ”

I glance up. Now she’s staring at the carpet. I haven’t seen this look on her face before. I don’t know what to say or do.

“Shit,” she groans, then sweeps past me into the bathroom, leaving me alone with the distinct impression I’m still on the wrong side of an argument I didn’t start.

“Is this my fault?” I ask out loud, to an empty room.

I stay with Ali after the abortion. She isn’t hungry, so we don’t eat. I run her a bath and listen at the door in case she needs anything. I expect to hear her crying, releasing her emotions now she’s home. But there’s no sound from the bathroom, except for the occasional splash.

In bed, we don’t touch, but she accepts a kiss before turning over to lie on her back. Despite the exhaustion, I can’t sleep for ages. Then, when I do, I’m awoken by Ali moving about, restless.

We say goodbye in the morning, both of us with red-rimmed, sleep-deprived eyes.

“I could stay a bit longer if you like?” I say, although if I’m being honest, I would quite like to go home.

“It’s fine. I probably need some time on my own today.” We hold each other in the corridor by her front door.

“I’m sorry,” we say, at the same time, which is awkward. It’s strange how both saying sorry makes it sound less meaningful, but she manages a fragile laugh. She strokes the side of my head.

“Please, don’t ever leave me, will you?” she says, her eyes searching mine for an answer. “And don’t ever tell anyone.”

“Of course not,” I say. What else can I say?

As autumn gives way to winter, I decide to take my lead from Ali about the abortion. If she wants to talk things through, I’m ready for it, though it’s still messing with my head, and I don’t really know what I can or should say. It’s been six weeks now, and she never brings it up. Instead, she talks for ages about her year groups (which is boring), about some of the other teachers (they’re even more weird than I thought), and what she thinks about the pupils in my Spanish class (mainly about the stack of exams she must mark over the holiday).

“Including yours,” she says pointedly. Finally, she asks, “So, do you think you’ve got a place at Oxford, then?” I’m pleased she’s taken an interest, at last, in the entrance exam I sat a few weeks earlier, although her tone gives her away. She’s obviously not really interested.

“Dunno.” I shrug. “I wasn’t very focused.”

“Huh,” she mutters, lifting her coffee cup to her mouth, looking away as she sips. “Why not?”

I stare at her across the breakfast table.

“Well, because of what happened, just before.”

“What do you mean?” A slight frown appears, and it hits me that her question is genuine. I shift uncomfortably, feeling too big for my chair.

“You know … the baby?”

“Sorry, what?” Ali’s eyebrows shoot up. Her voice remains controlled, low, but the atmosphere in the room cools several degrees. “Are you … please tell me you’re not going to make that all about you. Because – ”

“No, no, of course not,” I cut in.

“Because, just to be clear, that would be inappropriate.”

She looks down at the table, like she’s thinking hard about her next words, like she might be giving me difficult feedback on a homework assignment. She lifts her head. I feel so small under her glare.

“It was my body, and you don’t see me whingeing, do you?”

Later, we make up, in bed, in our usual way.

“Her hand patters across the faint hairs on my chest. ‘If you go to Oxford, what happens to me?’”

“Thank you for asking about Oxford, anyway,” I say, when I think it’s safe enough to do so. “I know you’re not that interested.”

“You do understand why, don’t you?” Her hand patters across the faint hairs on my chest.

“No, I don’t, actually.”

“Seriously?” Her hand pauses. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Erm … ”

“If you go to Oxford, what happens to me? What will I do? Had you thought about that?”

The fact is, she’s probably right. I haven’t had the energy to think about what happens to me and her – us – if I get into Oxford. Does it have to be the end just because I’m not nearby? I figure now is not the moment to repeat my plans for deferring my university place and taking a gap year sailing across the Atlantic.

Illustration: Anna Parini/The Guardian

When I leave the flat that afternoon, my mind is spinning. One minute, I’m on a complete high, fuelled with adrenaline from 24 hours with Ali. Next minute, the rollercoaster is plummeting, because, as usual, I’ve opened my stupid mouth, rammed my foot in it, made a dreadful mess, wasted our precious time with my immaturity. When will I grow up?

If my night with Ali was hard, it’s not much easier when I get home. In fact, it’s never easy these days, since Mum moved closer and I had to leave Ned and Celia’s. It’s only been a few months, but it feels like a lifetime. The dutiful son back at home, no longer free to roam. Or at least, no longer free to see Ali as much.

As if I couldn’t feel more crap about myself, Mum is waiting for me in the kitchen, with an odd expression on her face. Sort of pity and disappointment rolled into one tilt of the head. In front of her, on the dining table, is an envelope.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her eyes following my gaze to the letter. “You didn’t get into Oxford.”

“What? How do you know?”

“I opened it completely by mistake, sweetie,” she says, very quickly on the defensive.

“Jesus, Mum.”

At Christmas Ali suggests it’s time to “take things further”. I’m excited, but a bit confused, so she spells it out: she thinks we should get engaged. And she doesn’t hang about. By New Year’s Eve, she’s been to a jeweller, and I’ve blown my entire savings, £775, on a ring.

As the spring term gets under way, we reprise our roles at school, maintain a vigilant distance. Like hitting the reset button, except now we’re carrying an even bigger secret around with us. The story is, she had a whirlwind reunion with her – fictional – Spanish boyfriend, Carlos, over the Christmas break and – ta-da! – he proposed.

Meanwhile, I’ve put that “city of dreaming spires” fantasy behind me. As Ali said, what would happen to her if I went to study in another city for three or four years? We’re engaged now; it wouldn’t be fair. For now, I’m keeping everything crossed for an offer from the local uni, which I should hear about soon. The only hitch is Mum, who’s made it clear she still expects me home on time and at weekends, insisting my grades are more important than ever, that this is no time for slacking off.

“Listen, I’ve had an idea,” Ali says one day at school, her voice animated. “I’ve got the perfect solution to kill two birds with one stone.

“What do you mean?”

She explains quickly, as a low hum of voices and hurrying feet builds in the corridor outside. The two birds are my grades and our lack of time together. Her idea is risky. In fact, it sounds like complete madness.

“OK, so I’m going to write to your mother, or maybe I’ll phone her,” she begins.

“Whoa! You’re gonna call my mum?”

“Don’t interrupt. I’m going to propose giving you some private tutorials to get your grades back on track.”

“Wait a minute,” I say. “There’s no chance she’s going to pay for private lessons on top of my school fees.”

“Aha! That’s where you’re wrong.” She claps her hands. “Because I won’t be charging, and anyway, I’ll make it seem like it’s her idea. She’ll feel as though she’s enlisting my help.”

“Hang on, hang on, how — ” I run a hand over my hair and down my neck, trying to keep up. I can’t see how this is Mum’s idea.

“I haven’t got to the best bit. The other bird!” She drums on her desk. “Where do you think these tutorials are going to take place?” She grins.

“At … your place?”

“Wrong! At yours!” She laughs, and my jaw drops open.

“Are you kidding me? That will blow our cover.”

“Not with this, it won’t.” She holds up her ring finger, wiggling it with the pad of her thumb so that the diamond catches the light. “Won’t she be delighted for me, when I tell her the happy news about me and Carlos?”

I’m about to answer, when the door swings wide open and an unstoppable herd of uniforms and bags piles in.

“Right, thank you. Hand it in by next lesson,” I hear Ali call, as I’m spun out of the room by the twist of bodies.

Home tutoring works just as Ali planned – and eventually increases to weekly visits. It’s great, especially when Mum disappears and we can slip into my bedroom, though I have mixed feelings when I watch Mum and Ali chatting away like friends over coffee. I’ve lost count of the number of lies we’ve told, so I can’t tell whether it’s bad or harmless that we’ve pulled Mum into our web.

What I am sure of is that I have split myself in two. I’ve carved out two distinct versions of me. Old me, who goes to school, sits in lessons, does homework, sings in chapel, chats to the lads about nothing important. Other me, who exists in a parallel universe of secrecy orbiting Ali, lying on demand, pretending I’m not a teenager but a real grown-up man.

Then, the worst happens. We are exposed. It’s a couple of weeks before school breaks up for Easter. I’m in the library, working on a German essay about Schubert, which I intend to regurgitate in the A-level written exam next term. From the other end of the long room, I hear the door open and close emphatically, then feet walking hurriedly down the aisle. I look up.

It’s Ali. I’m not overly surprised to see her. She has a copy of my timetable, so that she always knows where I am, if she needs me. In a study period, like today, the library is a good bet. Her face is white, and she’s lost her composure. Furtively glancing around, checking the other bays beyond mine to make sure we’re alone, she sinks into a chair on the opposite side of the table, head in her hands.

“I have just been spoken to,” she begins, her breath catching in her throat as she tries to gather herself, “at break, in the staffroom. A warning. Jesus!” She throws her head back, lips pursed tightly, eyes wet at their rims, wide as though she’s fighting the impulse to blink.

“A warning – about what?” I say, frowning.

“Us,” she says, breathing heavily, staring at me, before wiping her eyes with her hand.

Someone – Mr Roberts, the teacher who spoke to her, wouldn’t say who – told him that someone else had told him that they’d heard Ali had been seen with a pupil. I ask where we’d been seen, by whom, and who are all these teachers spreading this shit?

“It’s a rumour mill,” she says wearily, like it’s not her first time, “and, evidently, it’s on the move, if that many people are talking.”

“Shit, shit, shit,” is all I can say.

“Yes, exactly, shit,” she adds.

Over the following days, paranoia grows inside me. In every lesson, every assembly, at lunch in the dining hall, in the library, I see faces staring at me, eyeing me with suspicion, and I’m convinced they all know, the whole school. Any minute, there will be a summons to the headmaster’s office and that will be that. I’ll be out. And shit, what about Ali – will she lose her job? Or worse, face the police? Ali said once that our relationship isn’t illegal, so they can’t lock her up or anything.

Soon, it hits me; the teachers are ignoring me. They don’t return my greetings in the corridor. When I have my hand up in class, I’m overlooked.

Then Mr Grice makes a snide comment when addressing the German set about final preparations for the written exams. “Everyone needs to pull out all the stops to score highly in these papers. There are no short cuts – at least not if you’re studying German.” He pauses, shuffles something around on his desk, then adds, not looking up. “Perhaps it’s different if you’re taking another language and getting special attention.”

None of the others appear to register the comment, but he may as well have walked over and landed a massive fist in my gut.

Next, my other German teacher, Mr Siddel, someone who, Ali tells me, has always had a thing for her, starts picking on me. He takes any opportunity to single me out with particularly difficult questions, usually around grammar.

“Got a bit of a dandruff problem, haven’t you, Gibson?” he says out of the blue one day. “You want to get that treated,” he persists, as several bottoms shift uneasily in their seats. “Then again, it’s all part of being an adolescent, isn’t it?”

The silence that follows seems to stretch on and on. I try to breathe, calm and steady, hold my nerve. But I fail. I snap.

“I might be an adolescent, but at least I’m not a … cunt.”

The next morning, after house assembly, when all the boys have dispersed, my tutor, Mr Batsford, calls me into his office. I sit, numb, in the chair on the other side of his desk, awaiting the inevitable bollocking.

But it doesn’t come. Instead, he considers me through steepled fingers pressed to his mouth.

“I don’t know what’s going on, and in many ways, I don’t want to know. What I do know is that you can’t call a teacher a – that word. Even if we’ve all been close, on occasion,” he adds in muffled tones.

“Am I going to be expelled, sir?”

“What? Lord no. You’re going to stay, sit your exams, do your best, and keep your head down.” After another weary pause, he continues. “I’ve heard what people, my colleagues, have been muttering, and I have to tell you, I don’t like mutterings, gossip, tittle-tattle,” he says, with feeling. “However, they’ve been hard to ignore, these things that are being talked about … about … you and Miss … So, I decided to speak to her myself.” At this, he hoists himself upright, while I sink lower.

“I am content with what she told me. The extra tuition was requested, I understand, by your mother. I respect why Miss P decided to keep this arrangement under her proverbial hat. She also explained the reason you’ve been seen with her off campus.” His tone changes, softens. “I just wish you’d come to me first, Joseph, when you were experiencing these difficulties at home. I had no idea how your parents’ divorce was affecting you.”

‘I was thinking about you this morning, about everything you’ve told me,” my friend Pete says, one day in the spring of 2010. I am 34, living on a canal boat, out of my depth and on my own for the first time in 17 years. Pete and I have been meeting up every weekend since I arrived on the cut, with me cycling along the canal to his mooring. It’s not therapy, he says, he’s just happy to listen. He’s watched me fall and picked me up, got me back on a level, of sorts.

“‘You do realise, don’t you,’ my friend Pete says years later, ‘it’s abuse, lad’”

“You realise, don’t you,” he continues, “if that happened in a school today, there’d be police, lawyers, a court case. It’s a criminal offence and there’s good reason for that. Look at the toll it’s taken on you. No wonder you’re not over it. It’s abuse, lad.”

“Oh, come on, Pete. I let it happen. It takes two – ”

“Don’t even finish that two-to-tango bollocks. It’s not the point. She was 35. You were 17, for Christ’s sake. A kid.

“What I want to know is, what happened next? I mean, you were still with her when you left school. When did it end?” I sip my beer and turn sideways so I can look out on to the bank and the bridge. I stroke my hand across my face and cup my chin.

“About four weeks ago.”

I run Pete through the main events of the intervening years. How she convinced me not to take my gap year and go straight to university. How three years later, aged 21, I stumbled out of there with a second-class degree, a ring on my finger, a sensible haircut, and a one-year-old in a buggy.

“Wait, what? You had a baby while you were still a student?”

“Yep.” I shake my head. “Married at the end of my first year. Baby at the end of my second year.”

“Fuck!” Pete fills the cabin with noise.

“That third year was surreal. Ali was still teaching and I would have to bring the baby into school at break times so Ali could feed him. I’d stand there in the staff room, a pariah, surrounded by my former teachers. I always expected someone to voice their disapproval, make a snide remark. But no, they never said anything. Just blanked me.”

“Wow. Do you think they were in denial?”

“Possibly. That is the default position of those types of schools.”

Ali left teaching as soon as she got pregnant with our second. I think the school was only too glad to see the back of her. How they let her stay when our first was born, I still don’t really know. Perhaps they were anxious about repercussions if they made her redundant, even despite the circumstances. “Posh School Sacks Pregnant Teacher” wouldn’t have been an attractive headline.

After that I changed jobs every couple of years, chasing the bigger salary to keep everyone happy – “everyone” being Ali and her parents. Basically, she made the decisions. We were living according to her plan.

I explain how, eventually, I burnt out. A midlife crisis, I suppose, except it was about 15 or 20 years before most men. The doctor signed me off work with exhaustion. The strain chipped away. As much as I loved being a dad, I was failing as a husband. Failed as a son, too; all those lies.

I was numb inside. Bit by bit, the barrel of my life was emptying and then, something happened. I began to see a new path opening before me. Or, at least, a path that diverged from Ali’s. For years, I still believed a time would come for our adventures. That we would leave the cul-de-sac of our life and try something different with the kids – live somewhere new, another part of the country, another country entirely. But she had no intention of changing her life.

Pete and I sit staring at the deck, both locked in our own thoughts.

“I have to ask,” he says, at last, lifting his head. “While you’re beating yourself up about the past, what’s Ali doing? I mean, does she feel guilty about what she did?”

“Ha! Are you kidding?” I snort. “Not for a second. No way. Lately, of course, she’s just focused on her anger towards me for leaving her. I get that. But Ali feel guilty? Ali take responsibility for how this all started? Not a chance. As far as she’s concerned, this is all on me.”

— Joe Gibson is a Pseudonym. This is an edited extract from Seventeen, published by Simon & Schuster on 20 July.

[noctumbra]

intentional

summary ─ “fuck him,” you muttered. “fuck him sideways.”

pairing ─ avenger!alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader

warnings ─ smut, +18, a/b/o dynamics, mutual pining, flirting, kissing, light choking (:d), rough sex, getting together, heat/rut sex, scenting, idiots in love

a/n ─ blame seb for that ig story picture. it made me do it. but seriously, can he choke me. anyway sfjdsjf hope you like it! leave a comment if you do! thankl youuuu <333 (italic is bucky, bold is reader) enjoy this 5.6k monstrosity. 

You and Bucky had been flirting for some time, but it was more of a friendly flirting rather than something more. He would call you cute pet names and let you play with his hair on movie nights, and you would let him cuddle or hug you whenever he needed touch. You liked spending time and having a lot of fun with him.

Sometimes you scented each other, too.

His scent was reminding you all kinds of things that you considered safety and homey, so you never said ‘no’ when he wanted to scent you. He let you scent him back most of the time and you used it on his behalf; scenting him when he felt anxious, letting him bury his nose into your neck so that he’d calm down after a brutal mission or nightmare. It worked well for both of you.

Sometimes, though, you wished something more from him. There were times where you wanted him to kiss you, to pull you flush against his muscle-clad, big and warm body and to touch you like that. You wanted to know how his arousal smelled like up-close, but you were valuing your friendship a bit too much to make a move; you were afraid that you’d lose him, and you couldn’t take the risk.

So, you kept it to yourself.

Times went by while both of you went on with your cute flirting and occasional hair-playing and cuddle/hug and scenting game. You knew you should have stopped scenting him back, you didn’t want to get in between him and his potential mate, since he’d been seeing other women sometimes. You overheard him and Sam talking about Tinder and getting dates from there. You also saw him carrying a gorgeous blonde to his room while kissing the daylight out of her.

You wanted so badly to be her, but it was just not possible. You knew it.

Sighing to yourself, you wiggled under your thick duvet, burying your body into the bed even more. It was way too late for you to be awake, but you couldn’t sleep. Your bed was comfy, warm and you put your duvet into a position that got you looking like a burrito. You were supposed to be passed out with these beautiful conditions, but your body was too hot, you felt too itchy to go to sleep. Your heat was close. You could sense it; you were in the pre-heat phase and you had about two days until it hit you.  

You growled to yourself angrily a little as you wiggled a bit more. Your head was partially under your pillow when you heard your phone ping-ing. Frowning, you stuck your hand out to grab it, seeing that you had one unread message. You opened it.

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned out accidentally when you saw what it was.

It was Bucky. He was shirtless and had his dog tags on. He was holding a cup in his big hands. All the muscles and veins were visible and bulging. He had a flirtatious look on his face. He seemed to wearing thin basketball shorts under, but they did very little to hide whatever he was… hiding there.

“Shit,” you whimpered. Your face was heating up rapidly. You felt your body was ready to burst, explode, whatever. Your heart was beating in your mouth. You could feel your pussy getting wet and even throb a little. You swallowed the spit that collected in your mouth when you heard another ping.

ah, shit, sorry, doll. i meant to send that to someone else.

Well, you thought and sighed.

“It’s not fair,” you whined and inched down on your bed, your legs spreading themselves instinctively. You bit your lip. You could finally make a move and say something suggestive, or you could just… chicken out. “Fuck him,” you muttered. “Fuck him sideways.” Your phone ping-ed again.

how is it look, though? i’m not sure about sending it rn

i think i’m chickening out

You rolled your eyes as his texts. Of course he didn’t like the picture where he looked so fucking sexy.

no, you look good, you texted him back. you look damn good, actually. idk why you’re chickening out. You saw the three dots that were inclining that he was writing and waited.

i dunno, he sent. she’s real nice, ya know. i don’t wanna fuck up

“Fuck whoever she is,” you whispered. “Fuck her if she thinks you’re fucking up when you send her a picture like this.”

why would sending a shirtless pic make you fuck up anyways?

she might think i’m a bit forward? idk honey i really care about her and i don’t want her to think i’m only talking to her bc i wanna fuck her ‘til she passes out.

“What the fuck,” you whispered again, your eyes narrowing and scent turning into its sickly sweet self by the half-dirty talk. Bucky never said anything to you like this before. You shared almost everything, but when the subject was sex Bucky was always a bit shy. Now, though, he didn’t sound shy. “I shouldn’t find this sexy.”

well, i don’t think she’ll have a problem with that, pal. esp with that pic

hell no

The three dots appeared again.

so you’re saying that she’ll know that my only purpose isn’t fucking her through her mattress?

i mean i know this isn’t a dick pic but still

You shake your head fondly. Even when he was trying to sext with a woman, he was being a gentleman. You liked that about him. He was always thinking how the other person would feel if his actions were to get misunderstood. It was cute.

you’re cute, you sent. she’ll understand.

Dots appeared but disappeared a second later. It repeated itself for a couple time before it totally vanished. You frowned but didn’t think too much about it. There really wasn’t much he could say to your last text, you thought. Maybe he finally sent the picture to the person who should have received it in the first place.

You took a deep breath as you looked at the picture again.

God, he was so handsome. He recently had a haircut, and it looked very good on him. He had faint stubble. When you first looked at the picture, you thought he had a flirtatious look, but actually he was just adorable. He was caught in mid-wink, you thought. His flesh hand was dwarfing the big navy colored mug he had in his hand. You knew that mug, you bought him that as a birthday gift, and it was a very big one. You never noticed how big his hands were before, but now that you knew, it was going to be hard to take your eyes away from them.

“Ugh,” you grunted, feeling the itchy sensation increasing. “Fuck me.” Locking your phone, you dropped it on your night stand. You were wet and horny, but you didn’t have any energy to touch yourself. So, you just hugged your pillow and closed your eyes.

──

The morning found you pouring yourself a cereal with still sleepy eyes. The sun was shining brightly, the kitchen was quiet and it seemed like you were the only living creature in the tower. You yawned as you put the cereal box down and poured some milk into your bowl. You perched yourself onto the chair by the kitchen island and dug into your cereal.

You had… vivid dreams last night. It included a pair of hands touching your naked skin, blur of colors and some moaning. You vaguely remembered that there were hushed whispers of a little dirty talk, but the details blurred as soon as you woke up.

That meant you were even achier than last night. You grunted into your cereal.

“Hey,” you heard someone murmur and jumped, it was Bucky. He looked like he just came back from a run. “Shit, sorry,” Bucky muttered. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” You shrugged as you slurped the last of your cereal. With the corner of your eyes, you saw his nostrils flare and realized he was scenting the air. “Y’alright, doll?”

“Mmhm, just achy,” you murmured and carried your bowl to the sink. Bucky stayed silent and watched you washing your bowl and rolling your shoulders a couple times. He could smell your scent; it was content but somehow… off. He also knew your heat was close. Your scent was too sweet albeit being a little off, it was like he just stepped into a bakery and got hit with freshly baked goods. It was mouthwatering. Eyes narrowing, Bucky murmured a silent ‘fuck it’ to himself, he stepped behind you.

“You seem awfully tense, honey,” Bucky muttered into your ear as he pressed his body to yours. “Couldn’t sleep well?” You tensed. You could feel the heat coming off of his body, could smell his clean sweat, cologne and his own musk; it was woody and fresh: like a bonfire in the middle of a forest. More importantly, you could feel all the muscles and ridges on his body against yours.

“Somethin’ like that,” you whispered. Bucky cooed at you softly. His arms wound themselves around your waist, pulling you in and making you rest your body against his. His scent surrounded you in a second, and you felt like you were being cocooned in your bed by your soft blankets.

“Breathe with me, love,” he murmured. “It will help you loosen up.” You swallowed and nodded. Feeling his chest moving behind you, you followed his movements. “That’s it,” he said, “You’re doing great.” You breathed in, in, and in and then let it ouuuut. You felt your shoulder relax a bit. “That’s it,” he whispered and─

His lips were right over your pulse. His stubble was rubbing the sensitive flesh of your neck. You shuddered uncontrollably. Bucky hushed you as his lips brushed against your skin. His hot breath was licking your neck, making the hair on your body rise. He nosed your glands there; taking lungful of your scent, Bucky grumbled to himself about how good you smell.

With a small grunt of his, he took a step forward and cornered you against the counter. You gasped.

“Hmm,” Bucky hummed, “You are tense, honey.” His lips found your jaw, his nose poked your temple and you shuddered again.

It felt like you were underwater but weren’t drowning; everything was peaceful quiet, and you were floating.

“Bucky,” you whispered. He hummed. “Bucky…” He kissed your neck, bit down on the flesh and sucked it a little. You felt your legs tremble when you felt your heat creeping in even closer and grabbed his arms around your waist for support. You tipped your head back, exposing your throat to him, and closed your eyes.

Placing kisses all over your neck, nibbling on your jaw, one of his hands grabbed your face to turn it towards him. “Tell me you don’t want it, and I’ll stop. I promise I’ll stop.” You didn’t say anything but leaned into his touch. “Tell me.”

“I want it,” you whispered, surpassing a shiver. Your heat was taking over your body, and Bucky needed the verbal confirmation before it consumed you.

“Honey,” he said softly. “Your heat is starting, do you want me to help you?” You gasped silently, realizing that you were feeling woozy a little and your vision was fuzzy around the edges, now.

“Yes,” you answered him. “Please, alpha?”  

Bucky’s chest rumbled lightly with approval and captured your lips with his. You moaned into his mouth. It was as soft as it looked and was caressing yours so nicely. You whimpered as you sneaked your hand into his slightly damp hair. You craned your neck to deepen the kiss, letting your tongue join the game, too. Bucky groaned.

“Fuck, love,” he whimpered. “Your skin feels so soft under my hands, your body is so warm… Mmm, I wanna eat you right up.” You wiggled in his arms.

“Please,” you whispered. Bucky bit down on your bottom lip. His other hand sneaked into your pajama bottoms, sliding right into your panties and nudging your clit gently. You gasped loudly as Bucky cursed.

“Holy shit, honey,” Bucky groaned. “You’re wetting your pajama bottoms with your slick.” You whimpered when you felt one long digit swiping the slick that gathered between the lips of your pussy. “Is it for me?” He asked, a low growl could be heard in his voice. You nodded. Bucky tugged on your hair. “Words. Use’em.”

“Yes!” You cried out. “Yes, only for you, Bucky, yes!”

“That’s more like it,” Bucky murmured and slid two of his fingers inside you. Biting your lip to stop yourself moan loudly, your hand tightened in Bucky’s hair and you bared your throat to Bucky by the throwing your head back even more, submitting him.

The way Bucky was fingering you was relentless; two of his long and thick fingers were stroking your wet walls, crooking them to graze over your sensitive spot sometimes while the heel of his hand was pressing down on your clit. You were being stimulated from almost all your open ended nerves so perfectly, you wanted to cry.

“I wish you see how you look right now, baby,” Bucky whispered. “You’re so deep into your pleasure...” You hummed and let out a gasp when he crooked his fingers again. “You take my fingers so nicely. My hand is drenched, baby, goddamn.” He nosed your bared throat, taking deep breaths, Bucky filled his lungs with your sweet heat scent. “Gotta get you to your room, love. The whole kitchen is gonna smell like your heat if we don’t.” You whined, but you weren’t lost in your head yet, so you knew he was right. You nodded. Bucky kissed your neck and suddenly, your world was upside down.

You were thrown over his shoulder like he was a caveman and you were his prey. “Bucky!” He chuckled, his metal hand slapping your ass, he stepped into the elevator and told Jarvis to go up to your floor. He carried you like that throughout the whole trip. You got to feel his back muscles all the way to your room, though, so you thought it wasn’t so bad.

Bucky dropped you on the floor gently. You were standing right in front of your room. “I can wait here,” Bucky murmured and continued when he saw your confused look. “While you are getting nest sorted out, I can wait here.”

Your heart swelled in your chest because ain’t he the most thoughtful.

“Aww, James,” you whispered. He just smiled and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Really?” He nodded. You knew he took these kinds of things serious because he was a bit old-school, but you liked that about him very much.

“Yeah,” he said. “Actually, why don’t you go ahead and sort your nest out while I get us some water and snacks?” You placed your hand on your heart.

“A man after my stomach,” you said dreamily, making him snort. “Okay.” He kissed your neck one more time and walked back to the elevator.

You had a spring on your step as you walked inside of your room and stripping the bed from unnecessary things. You pulled out your softest linens, blankets and pillows; arranging them on the bed the way you liked, you added some extra tiny pillows. It looked inviting, personal and smelled like you strongly. You smiled, pleased with your efforts. Just as you sat down on the bed in your underwear, you had kept your oversize t-shirt though, you heard a knock.

“Come in!” You called out and saw Bucky’s smiling, handsome face. He had arms full of snacks and water bottles, he also had other things which you couldn’t figure out what. You watched him as he put the things he carried into your room on your small desk.

“I, uh,” he started, suddenly looking bashful. “I thought you might want, uh,” Bucky stammered over his words and just handed you something.

It was his blanket from his bed and the sweatshirt you saw him wearing yesterday.

“I can always put them aside or bring more, whatever you want,” Bucky hurriedly added. You shook your head as you reached and took them from him. You folded the sweatshirt and put it right next to your bed where you would be reaching something to wear after you were through, and spread the blanket on your bed, rearranging your pillows. You took your t-shirt off before you turned and faced with Bucky.

You walked up to him slowly until you were standing right in front of him. You could see his nostrils flaring, pupils dilating and him scenting the air. “Kiss me, alpha?” Bucky let out a broken sound before he pulled you against his body, his flesh hand cradling your face gently, and leaned down to give you the kiss that you asked for so nicely.

It was, hands down, the most loving and gentle kiss you’ve ever had. It was nothing like the kiss you’ve shared in the kitchen. This one was chaste. Bucky’s lips were soft, and he was kissing you like a longtime lover. Moaning lightly, you tilted your head to your side and deepened the kiss a bit; pushing up on your tiptoes and winding your arms around his neck, you felt his arms wrapping themselves around your waist one more time.

You felt amazingly consumed and caged and overwhelmed, and you were fucking loving it.

Bucky pulled back slightly. “Bed,” he commanded. His voice was rough and low. His woodsy, fresh smell had taken a sharp turn and now it was more like burning wood and citrus. You loved how forest-y his scent was. You quickly climbed on the bed, and a second later Bucky joined you.

His big body caged yours under him. The body heat this man had was driving you crazy because he was so fucking warm, it made you want to wrap yourself around him like a koala and never let go.

“Bucky…” You breathed when you felt his teeth grazing over the sensitive skin of your neck, gasped when he placed a soft bite there. His light stubble was rubbing your skin raw, but you were loving it just like everything else. You felt him press his body against yours fully as he drew in a deep breath.

“God, your scent is drivin’ me fuckin’ crazy,” he murmured and kissed his way downwards. He stopped when he came across to your bra, looking up in your eyes, he silently asked for permission to take it off. You nodded. As soon as your breasts were free from their containment, Bucky latched on to one of your nipples, making you throw your head back and moan loudly.

“Fuck!” You yelped when he bit down and sucked and did… things with his tongue. He was licking and sucking, his saliva had covered your nipple and you could hear the slurping sound. It was so sexy, the pleasure was so intense; you felt like you were about to come. Whimpering, you slid your hands in his short hair, pulling and scratching his scalp. Bucky hummed. The vibrations and the graze of his teeth made you hiss, your body was trashing beneath his strong one.

Bucky pulled back with a ‘pop’, licking his lips, his fingers toyed with your other nipple. “How are you feelin’, love?” He asked. You panted lightly as you gave him thumbs up but yelped again when he pinched your nipple. “Words,” he growled. “I told you to use them.”

“’m good,” you whimpered, nipple throbbing deliciously. “’m good, I swear, ‘m fine, alpha.” Bucky hummed at the name. He always liked being called ‘alpha’ during sex before, he was never shy to tell his partners to call him that when he wanted to end his dancing night with someone, but hearing you call him that was turning him on in a whole different level.

Growling approvingly to himself, Bucky’s fingers found the hem of your panties. Before he could ask for permission, you lifted your hips to help him remove them easily. Bucky took a hold of the flimsy fabric, quickly dragging it down your beautiful legs, he threw them somewhere in the room. You were now under him with all your naked fucking glory, and Bucky’s mouth was watering at the sight of you. His gums were hurting with the desire to claim and mark you.

“You are gorgeous, baby,” Bucky murmured, fingers trailing over your soft skin and making you shiver happily. He leaned in. His light stubble rasped against your nipple as he nosed your collarbone, licking and sucking small marks there. You sighed. Your hands were buried deep in his short hair, the fluffiness of it turning into a messy state. “You feel so good against me,” he murmured again, lips brushing over the sensitive skin of your breasts. You whimpered. The ache between your legs was getting intolerable with each passing second, and you wanted him to take you already.

“Bucky…” You breathed. “Please, Bucky, alpha, I-I can’t, it h-hurts,” you babbled, hands now clawing his strong and wide shoulders. Quickly, Bucky shushed you with kisses, murmured filthy nonsense into your ear as he trailed one hand down your front. You gasped when his fingers brushed against your clit. It was already so sensitive and throbbing and aching─

“So wet,” Bucky whispered. “I’m gonna taste it later.” He brushed his fingers up and down for a couple times and pulled his hand back. “Now, we make your hurting stop, love.” You nodded. Your eyes were half-closed, you looked debauched without Bucky doing anything properly yet, and more importantly you looked drunk with only a couple kisses and touching from him.

If that ain’t the best kind of ego boost, I don’t know what is, Bucky thought to himself as he bit his lip and removed his clothes. Your sweet heat scent was filling his lungs and the room, and making him feel lightheaded. His skin was prickling with the intensity of your scent. He knew very well no matter how many times he’d shower that he would be smelling like you even days after your heat ended. Honestly, that would be a dream come true for Bucky.

His crush on you was getting stronger rather than dying down. He had tried dating with other people, hooking up or just spend his rut with at least a partner, but he just couldn’t because his body was yearning yours. His lungs were desperate for your sweet, calming scent filling them, his fingers were itching to feel your skin, and his lips were tingling to meet with yours… His whole body had been wanting you, no one else had made him feel this way before.

“God, Y/N,” Bucky breathed. His eyes were now fully black, face darkened with lust and his body heat had increased. He was about to enter his rut, he knew it. Bucky leaned forward and licked a fat line from your collarbone to all the way up to your ear, making your bonding glands throb. You gasped at the feeling.

“Fuck, Bucky!” You sighed, eyes screwed shut. Bucky hummed. His fingers moved south, were quick to find your dripping and aching core, he slipped two of his fingers in you. You moaned. His fingers were moving in and out of you rapidly, thumb pressing lightly on your clit. He could feel the poor thing throb beneath his fingertip, Bucky chuckled against your throat and nipped the skin there. You moaned one more time, but louder, your nails dug them deep into Bucky’s meaty shoulders. Bucky hissed at the slight pain, but all the pain during sex was welcomed in his book.

Bucky pulled his fingers out and pushed off of you, ignoring your little whines. “Present,” he ordered, his voice was still soft even though his commanding tone. Whimpering, you flipped onto your tummy, pressed your chest against the soft linens beneath you and lifted your ass high up on the air. Bucky groaned. “Damn, kitten,” he whispered. You shivered. He placed his hands on your ass, and then moved them up, up, up and slid one of them into your hair. “Do I need a condom?” You nodded.

“Birth control is no good for me,” you panted lightly. Bucky nodded, pressing a kiss on your cheek, he leaned sideways to grab a condom from his bedside drawer. You rubbed your face, wiggled your hips and fisted the bedding as Bucky put on the condom. As soon as he was done, he walked closer to you on his knees and immediately draped his body onto yours. You sighed at the skin-to-skin contact.

“Tell me if you want to or need me to stop because you don’t like what we’re doing, alright?” Bucky murmured. You nodded.

“I will,” you slurred slightly and earned another kiss on your cheek. You hummed happily. You felt the blunt tip of his cock against your wet folds and held your breath. With a smooth, slow thrust of his hips, Bucky slid into you. “Fuuuck,” you sighed, eyes closed and mouth open, drooling just a little bit. The ache in your core was disappeared as soon as Bucky filled you up.

“Goddamn,” Bucky gritted. Your pussy was hugging his hard as hell cock so nicely, Bucky felt like he was being wrapped with the softest blankets to ever exist. Falling onto his elbows, Bucky placed kisses on your bare shoulders. He moved his arms carefully and wrapped them around your torso. One of his hands was wrapped lightly around your neck, and you felt another flame taking over your body with the feeling.

“Move,” you whispered. “Alpha, please, move.” Bucky shushed you gently. Never stopping peppering kisses on your shoulder, neck and cheek, Bucky moved his hips slowly at first. You gasped, head thrown back on Bucky’s shoulder, you closed your eyes.

Your mind was fogged, body wrung tight with sexual frustration and the coil in your belly was burning hotter each passing second. You could feel your heat taking over your body. Bucky’s strong scent was covered with the traces of faint rut, and his scent was clogging up all your senses.

It felt magnificent.

“Alpha,” you moaned when his cock touched a spot in you, your body suddenly waking up. Bucky grunted. His rut was making him a little non-verbal, but he was okay with it. “Faster,” you whimpered. “Faster, harder, alpha, fuck!” The breath knocked out of your lungs with Bucky’s hard thrust.

Grunting and rumbling deep in his chest, Bucky started slamming into you. Your slick was now covering his inner thighs and groin, making these obscene sounds to echo in your room and your skin to stuck each other whenever Bucky’s pelvis kissed yours. You whimpered. Your body was both loosening up and tightening even more as Bucky’s thrusts became harder and deeper. Your body was melting under his, muscles were getting lax because of the rut scent and soft rumbles Bucky was occasionally letting out.

“Mmm,” Bucky hummed, nose poking your bonding glands. “You smell so good, omega,” he murmured, and you shuddered under him. Bucky chuckled darkly. His hot breath licked over your pulse. His short fangs grazed over the sensitive skin, tongue poking out to lick and suck as his pace turned into even something more feral. The sound of skin slapping skin was so loud, you were deafened by it.

You whimpered when you felt his teeth again. You had no fear of Bucky mating you, you knew him enough to know that he wouldn’t do that, but feeling him dragging his fangs up and down like that on your bonding glands was incredibly turning you on. You grabbed onto his arms when he slightly straightened up so that he could drive in you deeper.

“Shit,” you gasped. Bucky growled. His arms around your neck tightened its hold a bit, enough to make you feel every drag of oxygen. “Fuck, Bucky─” His cock was driving in and out of you at a mad pace, balls slapping against your clit and obscene sounds of your wet pussy was driving you even crazier.

With a snarl, Bucky pulled you up against him, flipping you on your back in a matter of seconds. When he slid into your once again, you felt the bulge of his knot at the base of his cock. You gasped, looking down, your mouth hung open on its own. Bucky chuckled.

“That mouth of yours is hungry, ain’t it?” He asked, a filthy smirk on his face. You tried to swallow the spit, but he didn’t let you. He stuffed three of his metal fingers into your mouth. “Suck on’em, honey,” he ordered lovingly. You moaned as you did what you were being told and felt his pace falter for a second. “Fuck.” You hummed around his fingers. His rut scent getting stronger, covering your body, your bed and leaving its mark deep into your bones, you felt like a cat under the sun.

Bucky placed his flesh hand on your pussy. His hips were moving with a rapid pace, your fluids were mixing with his. His thumb found your clit and started to play with it. You cried out. your back arching, you moaned around his fingers, your pussy tightening on his cock. Bucky gasped and grunted. His balls were hurting because of how full they were.

“Come for me,” he whispered. “Fuckin’ come for me, omega,” his harsh whispering voice commanded. You felt your eyes roll back as the pleasure and blinding orgasm took over your body. Bucky cursed as he felt your mouth watering even more around his fingers, pussy walls clamping on his cock and knot. Gasping, Bucky leaned in and pulled his fingers out your mouth so that he could kiss you. Bucky was so close, so fucking close─

“Mmm,” you hummed into his kiss. “C’me f’r me, alpha,” you murmured, placing sloppy kisses on his mouth. “C’mon, breed me, fill me up, make a mess─”

Groaning loudly, Bucky slammed forward one last time before he felt his knot popped. His balls seized so hard, Bucky let out a wounded sound. You shushed him. Placing your hands on his face, you kissed him. He sighed into the kiss as he thrusted in and out of you slowly, fucking his come deeper into you.

“Fuck, honey,” Bucky breathed out when the intense part of his orgasm washed away. You smiled, kissing him again. Bucky kissed you back soundly. “Damn, I’ve never come that hard before,” he said, chuckling.

“Good,” you said. Your scent flaring up with smugness, Bucky laughed.

“Yeah, alright, you’re possessive,” he said with a smile on his face. You felt your cheeks heat up and ducked your head. Bucky continued to smile but couldn’t stop himself from leaning down for another kiss.

After a couple minutes of lazy make-out, Bucky carefully re-arranged your positions so that he could cuddle you without crushing you. You lay like that in silence, feeling content. Your heat and his rut had diminished for the time being, giving you some time to recover. You were playing with his metal hand when the thought struck you.

“Hey,” you murmured, and Bucky hummed as an answer. “What did she say?” You asked him. He made a confused sound.

“Who? About what?”

“You sent me a picture last night and said you were chickening out because she was real nice and you don’t wanna fuck it up,” you explained, a little bit jealousy slipping into your scent. “Did you send her the picture? What did she say?” You felt him freeze momentarily, but then he let out a small chuckle.

“I sent it, yes,” he said. “She said that I look damn good and that I can’t fuck this thing up, not with that picture, and that I’m cute and she’ll understand why I sent it.”

You froze.

“It was intentional,” you murmured. Bucky hummed in approval, kissing your shoulder and tightening his arms around you. “You asshole,” you shrieked, hitting his arm. “You could have just come to me!” Bucky laughed as you hit him again.

“I’m sorry!” He said. “I actually didn’t mean to send you that picture, I swear. I hit send accidentally, but I also said ‘might as well’ afterwards, so,” he murmured, shrugging.

“God, I can’t believe this,” you grumbled. Bucky nuzzled your neck. “I couldn’t sleep last night because of that picture,” you admitted.

Bucky frowned. “Why?”

“I was horny, Bucky,” you said. Bucky let out a loud laugh.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured, but you knew he wasn’t sorry at all.

“No, you’re not,” you rolled your eyes, pouting at the same time.

“No, I’m not,” he agreed, slowly moving on top of you. “I can make it up, though…” Kissing your cheek, he poked your nose with his playfully. “You said you were horny, right? How about I do something about that?” You smirked.

“I’m in heat, Barnes,” you said. “You better make it up to me.” Bucky smirked right back at you.

“Your wish is my command, m’Queen,” he said, sweeping you into a passionate kiss. 

──

tell me what you think please!!

[sunmoonandeddie]

and he kissed me right here

pairing: modern!bucky barnes x reader

word count: 6,100

summary: I've always been sure that all I ever wanted was a glamorous life.

warnings: Cuss words, mentions of the Afghanistan war (Bucky is a veteran), angst, happy ending, cheesy romantic confessions, age gap

a/n:  This is based on the song 'Stars and the Moon' from Songs for a New World! It's the first one shot in my musical series! This is written in first perspective, but there is no physical description or use of a name in this!

Twenty-Two

I sighed as I tossed a few more dirty plates into the dish window, wiping my brow. After a shitty dinner rush and an even shittier rush around two in the morning consisting only of drunk ass college kids looking for some sort of carb to suck up all the alcohol in their systems, I was ready to go the fuck home.

“Sweetheart, you head on home now,” the head chef insisted as he watched my head nod slightly as I tried my best to fight off sleep. “Ain’t nobody comin’ in before Melissa gets here. No point in you staying on your feet any longer.”

Louis was a godsend. At sixty-seven years old, you’d think he would rather be anywhere but a diner at almost four in the morning.

“Nah,” he had said when I’d asked him a few months after I’d first started. “My Ginny died a few years back, and since she’s been gone, I don’t really have the stomach to sit around that house all alone.” He had laughed, but there’d been a deep sorrow that had come over his deep brown eyes. “Kids are worried, but… Sleeping the day away is better than laying up at night staring at her side of the bed…”

“You sure, Lou?” I asked even as I headed for the back room where all the employees clocked in and kept their possessions in their own little cubbies. I did my checkout in view of the security camera, just like always. I didn’t want anyone to be able to say I stole anything.

Everyone who knew me knew that I wouldn’t, but I’d worked at two many places where the girls tried backstabbing each other and sabotaging everyone else to get them fired.

Though people were a lot nicer in Louisiana than any of the other places I’d lived.

Louis chuckled as he set a to-go box in the window, nodding towards it. “Mmhm. Long as Buck is getting you home safe.”

I gave him a joking eye roll as I took the to-go box gratefully, grinning at my name written in all caps with green Sharpie on top. “You know you don’t have to make me dinner every night.”

“Yes, I do,” he said, shooting me a look. “How else do I know you’re getting enough food in you, huh?” He pointed his rag at me. “Now you go ask him to get you home. Tell him I said he can clock out, and that he’s supposed to text me when he sees you safe inside. You better not say you’re gonna ask him again just to walk yourself home.” The old man shook his head as I headed for the back door, muttering to himself, “Damn girl thinks I’m gonna believe she’s feeding herself good enough when she’s risking her damn ass walking home alone.”

Despite the fact that I’d put off asking for Bucky Barnes’s service, I really did appreciate how fiercely Louis cared about me.

It had been a real long time since anyone had cared so much.

I hesitated at the back door of the diner, my hand resting against the cool metal.

What if he said no?

Granted, he most likely wouldn’t. But what if he said yes, and he secretly thought me some dumb little girl that couldn’t take care of herself?

What did I care if he thought that?

“I don’t care what he thinks of me,” I huffed as I straightened my shoulders, holding my chin a little higher.

“Stop talking to yourself and get going!”

I jumped in surprise, before shooting a glare in the direction of the kitchen. “Stop listening in on my private conversations!” I demanded before storming outside with new found vigor.

Only to freeze when Bucky looked up from where he was sitting on the curb, smoking a cigarette.

God, he was handsome.

“You okay, doll face?” He asked, his New York accent a sharp contrast to the southern drawls you were used to.

“Um… Y-Yeah,” I said faintly, glancing back at the door that I’d come in from. “Um… L-Louis wants me to ask you… Can you walk me home? Or give me a ride? I don’t… I don’t know if you drive…”

“I do drive.”

“O-Oh. Okay. Great.”

“But I don’t have my car on me.”

I peered at him curiously. “Oh. Um… I can just walk by myself. I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna be a nuisance…”

He stood up, tossing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. “Don’t be ridiculous, darlin.’ Come on. I’ll walk you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he began to head for the street. “Besides… It’s a real nice night.”

“Oh…,” I said in surprise at how ready he was to be of service. “Okay. But only if you’re sure.”

A faint smile graced his lips as he glanced at the ground, letting out a faint chuckle that rumbled deep in his chest. “I’m sure, darlin.’ But you gotta lead the way.”

I was surprised by the rapid pitter patter of my heart beat as we walked side by side down the street, the chorus of ‘Yellow Brick Road’ getting stuck in my head on a loop.

Bucky was an enigma that I found myself wondering about more often than not, but I always ended up talking myself out of going there. After all, he was an older man. A much older man. At least fifteen years older than my own twenty-two years, or something along those lines, not that he looked it. The man looked like some kind of rugged Greek god. Like Hades if Hades was born in the eighties. His dog tags clinked together under his shirt as we walked, his metal prosthetic glinting in the moon.

“So how did you end up in NOLA?”

It took me a moment to even realize that he was talking to me, my heart skipping a beat and my face going hot in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked.

His bright blue eyes flickered over to look me over. “How’d you end up in New Orleans?”

“I actually don’t know,” I snorted, avoiding his eyes as I kicked at a few broken up pieces of asphalt. “I just… Picked a bus ticket and ended up in one of the Carolinas. Then I picked another bus ticket and ended up in Minnesota. And then I picked another, and another, and another, and then I actually just… ended up here.” The months I’d spent alone on those Greyhounds felt both so long ago and also like it was just yesterday. “The diner was the first place someone recommended for food that’s good but cheap, and as I was eating my mountain of cheese fries, I saw the flyer that said they were hiring. So here I am now…”

“Huh,” he said, his brows furrowed. “I didn’t take you for the type of person to run off on your own… riding buses all over the country…”

Head tilting to the side, I gave him a long look. “You didn’t? What kind of type did you peg me for?”

Bucky gave me a long look, a single brow raised as though silently telling me that I jumped to conclusions. “Just that jumping from place to place can take a lot outta someone,” he said slowly, his voice low and soothing. “Hell, if you were my girl—” He broke off as his cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink, his long hair falling in his face.

I swore my heart had stopped inside of my chest, and I swallowed thickly around the lump in my throat. “Oh?”

He rushed to try to correct his wording. “I-I just mean, a lady should be comfortable. And if I had a g-girl like you, well… You’d never want for anything,” he stammered, stumbling over his words like a flustered school boy. “Hell, I… I’d give you the stars and the moon…”

I was shocked into silence, staring up at him like he was the sun itself. “Bucky…”

“No, no, don’t say anything. I… I know that was a lot,” he insisted quietly, unable to meet your eyes as he stared up at the shitty apartment building you called home. “Hell, you probably don’t want a gross old man hitting on you.” His metal hand, glinting in the low light of the street lamp, reached up to brush against my cheek for just a moment before it quickly dropped. “Just let me walk you home each night so I can make sure you’re safe, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I breathed out, unable to take my eyes off of him as he took a few steps back.

There’s a somewhat playful smirk on his lips as he watched me stumble up the steps, continuously glancing back at him. “Goodnight, baby doll.”

“Goodnight,” I said, barely audible before I finally headed inside.

Bucky kept his word. He walked me home every night, and honestly, there wasn’t a moment that I wasn’t thinking about what he had said, about if I was his girl.

What if I was his girl?

But… with that meant I’d have to give up the life I’d dreamed for myself. I wanted luxury, to never worry about bills or where I was gonna get my next meal or if I could afford to buy the nice work shoes or if I could only get the cheap ones that would fall apart in three months and then I’d just be right back where I started.

I wanted the life that celebrities lived. Hell, I wanted to go to parties on the same yachts the Kardashian-Jenners did, even if I couldn’t fucking stand them.

And with Bucky… I wouldn’t have that.

“So why’d you go on the run anyway?” Bucky asked one night as we sat on the curb, eating ice cream in the Louisiana heat. “I know you told me how you got here, but you’ve never told me why.”

“You’ve never told me how you ended up here or why either,” I shot back, nudging his shoulder with my own.

Somehow the age difference seemed non-existent as we sat there. Honestly, I felt like we were just a bunch of dumb teenagers, shooting the shit and enjoying each other’s company.

Bucky took in a deep breath, his shoulders sinking in a way that made it look like he had all the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I was over in Afghanistan for a long time,” he admitted quietly. “When the war first started, I was 19. I had no idea where my life was going and I had no options except my dad’s mechanic shop. So I enlisted with my best friend, Steve. The one I told you about.”

It’s completely silent except for the sound of an occasional car horn off in the distance.

“Neither one of us knew what we were doing. We realized very quickly that we had no reason being over there, but… but there was nothing else,” he said, swallowing around the lump in his throat. The ice cream he was holding was melting in his trembling hands. “I didn’t know how to do anything else, so I stayed. Steve moved up in the ranks, but I stayed pretty low… I didn’t mind. Kinda liked being the older guy all those young kids could talk to, could rely on… Because they were just like me, getting into a fight that wasn’t theirs because they had nothing else.”

My heart was shattering inside my chest as I scooted a little closer, my knee knocking against his as I tried to give him some sort of silent comfort. He’d been through Hell and made it through.

Bucky let his head rest against mine, his eyes closing as he breathed in the scent of my perfume. “They eventually moved me to some kind of specialized team… Called us the Howling Commandos. I found out that Steve was heading it and he picked me to be part of it. That’s how I met Sam, because he was on some sort of similar team with the Air Force, except it was just him and his friend, Riley,” he continued, taking a bite of his chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. “I am proud to say that I didn’t kill a single person while I was over there. I just couldn’t. Hell, they’re people just like me, terrified and unsure of what’s going to happen.” His lips pressed against my forehead, letting it linger. “But then about five years ago, I was on a mission with the Commandos, Sam, and Riley, and… this bomb went off while we were playing a game of soccer. I wasn’t even in a fight. That thing took my arm and it took Riley.”

Tentatively, I let my fingers find his, holding his hand and squeezing reassuringly.

“Sam decided to come home with me.” There was a forlorn look in his eyes, as though he was right back at that game of pick-up soccer. “After losing Riley… he couldn’t find a reason to be over there. And then Steve decided to stay, and hell, he’s still over there, leading that fucking team…” Glassy baby blue eyes finally found mine, the both of us doing our best to not cry. “I couldn’t face my family for a long time, so Sam asked me to come stay in Louisiana with him and his family, and I haven’t left since.”

“Have you gone to see your family?” I asked slowly, almost like I was scared I’d frighten him if I spoke too loudly, like a wild animal. “Let them know where you are? That you’re safe?”

He turned to look at me, his baby blues shining. “You worried about me, baby doll?”

“I can’t help it,” I said honestly, unable to tear my eyes away. I hadn’t opened up to someone like that in so damn long. “I can’t help but worry about you.”

The way that I felt about Bucky absolutely terrified me, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. It snuck up on me, like a train coming around a bend.

I hated it.

“What do you want out of this life?” Bucky asked on one walk home, his arm linked in mine. He’d become so much more… tactile. If anyone took a moment to look at us, they’d think we were a couple on a romantic stroll.

Perhaps we were.

But I couldn’t help but grin as I looked up at the sky, taking in the warm air. “I wanna live like how the movie stars do… I want a big house on the beach and twenty cars and a yacht and… and…”

He looked at me long and hard. “And you never wanna have to worry about where your next meal is coming from, if you’re gonna have a place to sleep at night…”

For some reason, I’d felt a bolt of panic over whether or not he’d understand. Whether or not he’d think differently of me, but I should’ve known that he wouldn’t. Hell, he knew me better than anyone else.

“You understand,” I said quietly, my hand squeezing his bicep gratefully. “I want to live how the other half lives for once. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

A small smile graced his features as we shuffled along. “There isn’t. But… What about love?” He asked.

“Love?”

“Love.”

Love.

Could I even have love? Did I want it?

“I don’t know if there’s a lot of room for love in my plans,” I admitted after a long moment. “In my experience, love has always just been a lie. A word used to manipulate and eventually abuse.”

Letting out a snort, he let his fingers tickle down my tricep until his fingers intertwined with mine. “I’d show you it’s not… I’d show you what real love is,” he said. “I’d give you every part of me, give you all my strength to help you grow into who you wanna be, even if I don’t particularly care about being famous or rich…” He brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “I’ll give you a love story, a life, that’s a million times better than any recycled Hollywood plot… I’ll give you the stars and the moon, if you would just let me.”

I hated the way that he made my heart beat faster, the way my breath hitched. “Jamie,” I breathed out quietly, the two of us having stopped in our tracks to just… take each other in. Live in each other’s presence for a moment. “I…”

“You want a big life… one a lot bigger than little old me,” he said simply, shrugging. His blue eyes were so honest, so loving. So warm. A warmth I hadn’t ever experienced before. “I know. But that doesn’t change that I’m in love with you. And if you ever change your mind…” Bucky reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card, pressing it into my free hand. “This is where you can find me. I figure it’s time for me to go home.”

We’d come to a stop in front of my building, and I was shocked at how tight my chest felt. My eyes watered as I stared at him long and hard. “Jamie, please… I⏤”

“Don’t say it. It’s okay,” he insisted as he cupped my cheek, letting his thumb run over my skin as though he was memorizing it. “I just want you to be happy, darling. You got that?” His lips pressed to my forehead, letting it linger. “Go get that life you’ve been dreaming of.”

Twenty-Three

I left New Orleans the next day, grabbing a bus ticket after throwing all of my belongings into my old duffel bag. It was time to move on.

But God, did it hurt.

I didn’t stop crying for weeks, fighting the urge to go right back to Louisiana and tell Bucky to take it back, to get him to beg me to stay with him.

But what kind of life would that leave me with? Working in the diner day after day? Never getting anywhere?

But you’d have James, a voice inside my head reminded me snarkily.

Then again, he most likely wasn’t even in New Orleans anymore, if what he said was true when he gave me the business card of his father’s mechanic shop. Was he really planning on going home to New York City?

A few months later, and I’d worked my way all through the southwest to Santa Fe, where I met Pietro.

My heart was pounding as I pressed in the familiar numbers, having memorized them from the business card now soft and faded from how often I held it in my hands like a lifeline. “Come on… Pick up… Pick up…”

“Barnes Tires and Motors, this is George,” a man said in a gruff voice when he finally picked up. “How can I help you?”

“H-Hi, is James there? James Barnes? Bucky?” I stammered out, hands trembling so bad that the old payphone was almost rattling.

There was a pause, and then muffled talking away from the phone.

And then I heard it being picked up. “This is Bucky,” he said.

It felt like the wind had been knocked right out of my lungs. How had I gone so long without hearing his voice?

Breathing in sharply, I tried to figure out the words to say. But my throat was dry and it was like I’d suddenly forgotten the entire English language.

That was all that it took for Bucky to realize it was me. “Baby doll? Baby doll, is that you?” He asked quietly. “I…” He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “You don’t gotta say a thing, sweetheart… But just know that if you’re in trouble or you need help or… or anything at all, you better call me…” His voice wavered, as though he was fighting tears just like I was. “God, I miss you so much, baby doll. I love you.”

I love you, too.

I hung up before I could actually say the words. “God, I’m so fucking stupid,” I whispered as I leaned back against the wall of the gas station I’d found myself at, rubbing the heels of my hands into my eyes.

My dumb ass had decided to wander from the bus station, and I’d walked over a mile away. Unless I was staying in Santa Fe for a bit, I’d need to start making my way back.

“You okay?”

In my distress, I hadn’t even heard the rumbling of the motorcycle or noticed the handsome man making his way to me. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” I said even as I wiped my nose with a pathetic sniffle.

He eyed me for a long moment, his eyes roaming over my figure. “You hungry? I know a great little place nearby. My treat.”

And well, I was never one to turn down free food.

Even if that ‘little place’ ended up being a food truck.

“You know, when you said it was a little place, I didn’t picture it having wheels,” I said teasingly, licking salsa off of my lower lip. “Though, it is the best food I’ve ever gotten from a food truck before.”

“Oh, come on. This is the best food of all time!” He laughed, shaking his head.

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” I snorted, finishing off my flautas.

Pietro looked at me long and hard. “So, are you gonna tell me what the hell was going on to have a pretty girl like you all teary eyed?” He asked, his head tilting to the side.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Was this your plan all along?” I asked. Wiping my hands off on a napkin, I did everything I could to avoid his eyes. “Get me all fed and then question me?” But at the same time, the thought of being able to finally talk to someone about it was so appealing… After a long moment of hesitation, I finally gave in. “I fell in love with a man, and he let me go because he knew that I want a life he can’t give me,” I said. “And I was a bitch who didn’t even tell him I love him back when he said it to me.”

Pietro took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out. “Damn. You really are a stone cold bitch, aren’t you?”

“Hey!” I indignantly threw a chunk of tomato at him, glaring. “I just opened up my heart, you dickwad.”

“Dickwad?!” He said, blinking at me in shock. “No one’s ever called me a dickwad before.”

I raised a single eyebrow at him. “Maybe not to your face, but they definitely have.” He gave off the vibe of a fuckboy, of a really, really bad fuckboy.

“Well, since you’re running away from your feelings, how about you spend a week or two with me on the road?” He asked with a grin.

I couldn’t help but blink at him in shock. “What?” I let out a laugh, pulling one of my legs up to my chest. “Do you throw that line out to every girl you meet? Or am I just special?”

Pietro threw a chip at me, and I barely managed to dodge it. “No, I don’t. But… You remind me of me. Needing adventure. A life bigger than four walls and a fence.”

Instinctively, I wanted to snap back that sometimes, four walls and a fence could be an adventure, could be the biggest life there was, as Bucky’s face flashed across my mind.

But I couldn’t do that. Not when I wasn’t ready to face the truth myself.

“Come on, sweet cheeks,” he teased as his foot hooked around mine. “Just think of it. The open highway, a rhythm beneath your feet… Nights full of passion and days of adventure…” Pietro’s voice was deep and husky, as though he was trying to lure me in. “No strings… just warm summer rain soaking us to the bone before we find some cheap motel to huddle down in…”

Plastering on a smile, I stood up and brushed myself on. “Thanks, but… I’d rather be drinking champagne, and the quicker I get to LA, the sooner I will be.”

He let me go with a kiss on the cheek and his cell number pressed into my hand, with a promise to come and pick me up the second I rang.

And despite how sweet he was, how wild and funny and charismatic, there was only one man I wanted to call.

Twenty-Four

I sipped at my martini as I sat at the rooftop bar, absentmindedly watching the television that was mounted on the wall as people droned around me. I’d been in Los Angeles for a year, and I’d spent my time finding the best places to find a husband who could give me the life I dreamed of.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, it took connections to build a career, and the best way to get a foot in the door when nepotism was so rampant was by marrying someone in the industry.

My silk dress was the most expensive thing I owned, something I’d saved up for months for, had skipped meals for. And fuck, was it worth it. I could feel the stares, the lingering gazes on the little bit of thigh that was exposed by the slit in the dress.

I’d already turned away several men, able to tell just from their expensive watches and cheap suits and shoes.

It was amazing how all the up and coming finance bros thought they fit in with the truly big dogs.

“Well, hello, gorgeous.”

I turned to see who was speaking, my heart skipping a beat when I realized who I was speaking to.

The world famous (or infamous) director, Tony Stark.

“Hello, handsome,” I said smoothly, my lashes fluttering innocently as I took a sip of my horrible drink.

I fucking hated martinis. Always had.

But ordering a martini was more sophisticated than ordering a frozen strawberry margarita.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked as he motioned to the empty bar stool right next to me, even as he was already sitting down. “Let me buy your next round.”

“I can’t think of anything better,” I said, feeling as though my dream life was already in reach.

Twenty-Eight

“Tony, where are you taking me?” I laughed as I let my boyfriend lead me to the private dock at our Malibu mansion.

Well, his mansion. I just happened to also live there.

It had been a whirlwind of a year since I had met Tony, and he’d bought me that second round. He’d taken me all over the globe, anywhere my heart desired.

But I made sure to avoid New York City, though he never understood why. I would never tell him.

Not when I was so close to my dream. I could practically taste it.

“Come on, come on. I have a surprise for you,” he said, keeping his hands over my eyes. He was sure to keep me from tripping and busting my ass, thank god.

The ocean waves were so comforting as they hit the shore, a sound I’d gotten used to over the past year.

He finally brought me to a stop, quietly telling me to keep my eyes closed. “Okay,” he said finally. “Open them.”

My eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the bright light of the California sun. But I was more shocked by the sight of Tony on one knee in front of me, holding out a box with a sparkling diamond ring in it. “Tony?”

The ring was the size of a fucking meteor. It was easily the biggest ring I’d ever seen.

“You know, I never thought I’d meet someone like you,” he said quietly, his dark eyes shining. But his voice was steady. “Someone who understands me, who doesn’t expect me to change into someone I’m not. You accept me as I am, and that’s why I want to give you the world.” He couldn’t help but grin as he nodded to the right. “Starting with that yacht you’ve always dreamed of.”

I hadn’t even noticed that there were two yachts at his private docks instead of just the one. The new one had SS Princess emblazoned on the side, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh… Tony…”

“So, what do you say?” He asked, bringing my attention back to him. “Will you be my wife?”

“Yes.”

Thirty-Two

Swallowing nervously, I looked down at the business card in my hand for the millionth time, the stock paper soft from how often I’d looked at it in the past ten years.

Hell, just how often I’d looked at it in the past six should’ve made it fall apart by now. Not that I didn’t have it memorized.

I’d finally ended my marriage after being miserable for so long. I’d gotten my yacht, my fancy houses, my career, all the jewelry that I could dream of, and none of it made me happy. Tony and I… never grew. And I never dreamed. Every day was the same, and every day was torture as I realized that I didn’t have the one thing that actually mattered.

The garage in front of me was busy, music blasting and the sound of men shouting to each other as they worked.

Suddenly I felt absolutely ridiculous wearing a Chanel dress and Gucci heels, an Hermés bag on my arm.

BARNES TIRES AND MOTORS was lit up along the top of the shop in bright red letters, though the lights in the ‘r’ of ‘motors’ were out.

I felt like a fool. I had wanted the life I had so desperately that I gave up everything for it. I got the movie star life, my name on billboards and my face on magazines.

But it wasn’t ever enough.

My heels clicked against the blacktop as I slowly made my way towards the front area of the shop, bells clinging above my head to let them know someone was there.

“Can I help you, ma’am?” A man asked as he came around the corner.

He looked so much like Bucky, it punched the air straight from my lungs.

“H-Hi. I’m looking for James Barnes. Is he here?” I asked after a long moment of hesitation. There was no way that the man was Bucky, but I didn’t doubt he was related.

The man raised his brows, wiping his hands on a rag. “My son’s in the shop. I’ll take you to him.” His full head of hair was white, his thick facial hair matching. Even with all the wrinkles on his face, he was a handsome man. Holding open the door for me, he led me into the loud shop, some eighties rock song blasting over the speakers.

I couldn’t help but smile as ‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’ by Scorpions came on. It was one of Bucky’s favorites back when we worked in the diner together.

“BUCK! YOU GOT A VISITOR!” The man shouted, causing several people to look our way.

My cheeks felt hot as I avoided their gaze, hoping they wouldn’t recognize me. I didn’t want to be a famous movie star anymore, a celebrity that had to beg for scraps of privacy.

My mind went numb, my heart stopping inside my chest as he stepped around a gray Ford Escape another man was working on.

He was even more handsome than he was the last time I saw him.

“Can I help y—” He broke off, his blue eyes going wide when he realized that it was me. “Hi.”

All of a sudden, everything I’d planned to say flew out of my head. All of the eloquent words I’d strung together were gone. And I just proceeded to word vomit.

“Did you know that, uh, when you marry someone you’re not in love with, you won’t… you won’t grow into it?” I asked, my voice shaking. “Um… I married a man who could give me a life I thought I always wanted, and he just… sucked.” Eyes stinging, I fought back against tears. “And I thought that all I ever wanted was the life I have now, was the life movie stars and the Kardashians lived. But… But I hate it. I hated every second I was away from you.” I let out a weak laugh, unable to stop the tears. “I wanted to turn around the second I got on the bus in New Orleans, but my stupid stubborn ass didn’t. I should have. I should’ve gotten off and just run right back to you because I… I love you, James. I always have.”

The garage had gone almost deadly quiet, and my heart sank when I realized Bucky looked almost frozen in shock.

“I know that I shouldn’t have showed up like this,” I scrambled to say. “But I… I’ve been trying to get my divorce finalized for two years and I finally did, and I kept telling myself that once it was done, I’d never hold myself back from what I really want ever again. From who I want. If… If you want me.” My face felt like it was on fire, my hands shaking. I shook my head as I took a step backwards. “What am I thinking? There’s no way you’re not married. I… I’m so so—”

Before I could finish the word ‘sorry,’ Bucky had closed the distance between us, his hands cradling my face so gently. He held me like I was made of fine crystal as he kissed me. He kissed me like his life depended on it, like I was the one source of oxygen.

And I kissed him back just as fiercely. “I love you. I love you so much,” I breathed out in between kisses, unwilling to let him go as my Hermés bag fell into the dust and oil on the concrete below.

Bucky smiled into the kiss, his arm wrapping around my waist to keep me pressed to his chest. “I love you so much, darlin.’ God, I’ve missed you…” His nose nudged against mine as we finally broke for air, both of us breathing heavily.

My knees felt like Jell-O as I held onto him. His grip was the only reason I hadn’t fallen to the ground already.

“I’m sorry I was a dumb twenty-two year old,” I said, snorting as he stole another kiss.

“No… Don’t be sorry,” he insisted, his fingers massaging my scalp as our foreheads pressed together. It was like he was scared to stop touching me, like I would disappear at any second. “You were young… You had to go out and make your own mistakes… I’ve just been waiting for the day you were ready.”

All the years apart melted away and all that remained was the two of us, two souls so intertwined that there was no way to truly separate us.

Our lips were half molded together as I said, “I’m never leaving you again. I promise I swear on everything…”

My heart almost stopped inside my chest as I heard someone clearing their throat, looking to see Bucky’s father staring at us with his arms crossed over his chest. “M-Mr. Barnes, sir…”

He gave a crooked smile that was so reminiscent of Bucky that I couldn’t help but grin back. “The Mrs. will wanna know if you’re staying for dinner.”

“Yeah,” I said as I looked up at Bucky, toying with a strand of his hair. “That sounds perfect.”

Later that night, Bucky and I laid in his bed, a mess of bare limbs as his fingers ran up and down my back soothingly. “What do you want from this life, baby girl?” He asked absentmindedly.

Humming, I traced shapes on his bare chest, sometimes pressing a kiss to where his prosthetic met his shoulder, on the tender scar tissue. “You.”

A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, despite the already mischievous look on his face. “Really? Not even the stars and the moon?” He asked teasingly.

I knew he’d give it to me anyway, give me all that he could. But I was sure now that the only thing I wanted from this life was his love. “Not even the stars and the moon.”

[subwaysurf45]

Code Star

Summary: a code word you and Bucky share is used; but it’s not in a good way.

Warning: panic attack, ripping out hair, addiction(little bit)

Words: 2030

Masterlist!

"Agent. Agent. Copy agent?" Friday spoke through the speakers in your room, it was louder than normal and also in the middle of the night which was the reason you woke up with a gasp.

"C-copy," you spat out, you typically sleep with your mouth open, so it gets dry when you first wake.

"Mr. Barns is calling you, he says it's 'code star'." Your stomach dropped, from all the adrenaline from waking up with a scare and the code, you sprinted down the hall way.

-

It was late and you were in the kitchen, you were trying to separate from your sleeping pills because during your last mission you couldn't sleep because you forgot them, you were addicted to them. So you needed to take a step back, learn to fall asleep on your own.

After asking around there was a tea Wanda recommended, it was lavender tea and she said it's the best with honey. You were currently steeping your bag and had honey beside you.

You took the soggy bag out and turned to the compost bin, after dropping it in and turned around you almost slipped because Bucky was right there.

Standing frozen. Dead face. Staring at you.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" You yelled, not caring if it woke someone up, "what's wrong with you?" You realized you clutched at your heart through your sweater.

He was on the other side of the island, but he seemed to be leaning over a bit, he looked down at your steaming mug and then back at you.

"I- I was going to say hi and then I liked the smell of your tea and then when you turned I looked up at you, I-I didn't mean to freak you out, that must have been really scary, sorry." He looked down into the cup again. "What is it?" He finally asked.

You let your guard down a bit, "lavender," you never looked away from him, "and honey." That was the most he'd ever said to you since he showed up two months ago, he stayed in his room the first month.

"Nice," he nodded, his metal arm coming up and rubbing the back of his neck.

"There's extra water, I can make you one." You knew he was going to ask for your cup, but you really need to hit the sack.

His face lit up in the dark, "perfect!" He half smiled.

You poured the other cup and steeped the another bag, then added honey as well. You both stayed where you were on either side of the island.

"Why are you up?" He asked while blowing on the tea, his voice was below normal level.

"Just can't sleep," you sigh and look over to the common room, no one was there but you really didn't want to meet his eyes.

"I get that," he spoke awkwardly and looked over as well, thinking you were studying something.

"I'm-...I'm trying to get if sleeping pills my shit therapist prescribed for me," you looked back at him, his eye brows raised and his head tilted forty-five degrees.

"Sleeping pills?"

"Insomnia."

"Oh..." he spoke to himself and looked down again, his thumb rubbing the smooth ceramic handle of the blue mug that wasn't his. "I get nightmares." He stated blankly, but he didn't look up at his statement.

"Is it..." you tried to find the right words to not trigger him, "before the war, like America...or later on…in life...?" You danced around the question, Steve had told you mentioning certain things can get Bucky really freaked out.

"My mind," he laughed sarcastically, "it likes to mix the two," he pulled one side of his mouth tight.

"Double-whammy," you whispered, then froze at the sound of a giggle, Bucky chuckled. "What?"

"No-I-I just...I get that reference," he seemed proud, his face seemed to fall quickly though, circling back, "my arm is weird, it's like my human arm but the star," he points to the red, "is like sewn in, I don't know what it means but..." he trialed off.

"Well, if you need help, just call a code star, I'll come to your room and bring you some tea, how about that?" You smile.

"What? Like a friend?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Okay," he smiled and nodded, "alright," his fingers drummed on the counter, "I'm gonna take this back to my room, but I'll remember that." He nodded and left, but caught himself at the corner to the rooms, "hey, agent," he spoke normal, you looked, "if you're gonna be my friend, don't ask 'what's wrong with me?', because trust me...I’ll talk you to your grave." He smirked.

“Noted, Sargent.” You’ve never seen him joke with you before, it felt comforting.

-

'Code star' had never been used for its newer purpose before, as the friendship and relationship grew 'code star' became 'code lavender', it happened after Bucky called 'code star' once while he was having a panic attack, you took so long to make the tea he was passed out by the time you showed up.

'Code lavender': make a tea, meet in the kitchen.

'Code star': panic attack, drop everything a come.

You sprinted down the hallway to the very last room, you could hear laboured breathing as you got closer. Typically you'd knock softly and come in quietly, not this time.

You whipped open the door to see Bucky staring slightly down on the edge of his bed, he was rocking back and forth as his fingers ripped and pulled on his long hair. His pupils blew wide and his lips curled causing his teeth to flash, he didn't even look up at you.

A loud bang from your knees hitting the hardwood didn't phase him either, you tired to duck down to meet his line of eye sight but you couldn't get down enough.

"Bucky, look at me!" You pulled his hands out of his hair, as you made him drop them to his side you found a pile of hair outside his thighs, "oh god," you whispered, your hand unlacing with his to pick up the locks, the free hand of his went straight back to tugging. "Don't do that, don't do that." You hushed and took it out again, a tuff came with it. "Bucky, look at me," you said calmer now, you needed to be the example. "Bucky, nod if you can hear me."

He didn't nod, his eyes stayed locked on your chest. They didn't move there, he was already looking there, it was like he was looking through you.

You kept his hands clumped in your right hand and your left hand began to trace around his face, starting at his cheeks that were dry, little circles led to cross the bridge the nose a couple times. You also started humming, a song you heard Bucky and Steve sing once while drunk and having fun.

His eye brows seemed to raise for a second at the tune, but he quickly fell back into his short shallow breathes. You kept going, your finger gently tracing his cleft chin, it was always something you pinched when joking around with him.

"Wake up, Bucky," you whispered after finishing the song, you started the tune again. His breathing seemed to slow a little and his almost black eyes moved around a bit, "there you go," you cupped his cheek, now just shifting your thumb back and forth. You didn't know if he'd start to pull his hair out again so you kept both the metal and flesh hand covered with your left.

His breathing went to normal, his rib cage expanding wide as he took voluntary breathes. His eyes were shut tight but you felt him lean into your hand that was still holding his cheek.

"Are you with me?" You asked softly, he leaned into your hand again, his hand slowly made it up to his face and he placed his hand over yours, gently guiding it down to his lips; his kisses to your palm were long and filled with their own language.

"I'm here," his voice cut out and became a breath, but you heard him. His eyes looked up before his head moved, he locked eyes with you and something changed.

It was like he was seeing you for the first time, eyes a little wide and confused; but knowing at the same time. They became misty the more he looked, he was never one to cry so he dropped his head to cover the tears.

"It's okay," you hushed, he dropped your hand and leaned forward, basically throwing his entire body weight onto you. You fell back to the floor and he cried in your chest, you saw some of his hair fall with him. "Let it out," your arms wrapped around him and began to rub all along his back, huge, gentle, soothing rubs.

"I-I killed you all," his voice sounded like a dog panting from his short breathes that came when he talked, "I- couldn't s-stop," his 's' slithered like snakes as he tries get sufficient air and talk.

"We're all here, just a dream." It was the same mantra, "we're all here, you're safe, it was a nightmare, you're out of it now. There you go, big breathes, you're doing great, you're a pro at this, keep breathing." You let the broken record play, he seemed to get smaller at every praise.

He sat up and leaned against the bed, Bucky pulled his sleeve around his fist to hold it tight. When he wiped his face it was aggressive, like he was mad at himself. He just stared at you like he always did, you were alway involved in his dreams so he needed to look at you to stay grounded.

"Sorry," his 's' still slurred, "I-...I'm sorry," he wanted to say something else, you could hear it in his tone. His head dropped, Bucky almost fell over at the sight of his hair, "did I do that?" He asked, his nose turned up.

All you did was nod, any verbal answer would've sounded almost grossed out or accusatory. He sighed and looked between the hair and you, he wanted to say something, he'd already stopped himself once.

"Tell me," you whispered.

"I want to cut my hair," Bucky responded softly, "I-I also want to sleep on the floor from now own." He seemed ashamed of the second ask.

"You like the cold?" You tried to figure him out.

"That and it's...comforting...I think," Bucky scratched his head, his metal hand slowing at the thin spot from tugging, "it just grounds me, I'm not used to fluffy things- nicer things."

"How about a mattress pad, you're back will scream at you in the morning." You tried to lighten the mood, he smiled a bit and then nodded. "How about you come sleep in my room tonight, just so I can keep an eye on you and if you want to sleep on my firm mattress you can hop on, how's that?" You stood and held your hand out, Bucky nodded and clapped his metal hand to yours.

You led him down the hallway and to your room, it was really quiet and almost off putting. You slept barefoot so the sound of soft footsteps from your feet was the only thing you heard, Bucky wore socks.

He went straight to your bed and felt the mattress, both hands pressing down on it to see the give it has. You felt a little happy when he was nodding in a positive way; his bottom lip also pouted out.

Bucky slipped in and you joined as well, he stayed still for a while, on his back and staring at the ceiling.

"Y'know, you can cuddle," you whispered, without another second to blink Bucky's face rested on your chest, his arm circled your body completely in a tight hug. Your hands found their way to his back and to his hair, softly lulling him to sleep, "I'll cut your hair in the morning."

"Love you," he murmured.

[thatshithurted8]

Lake Chelan

Heyy💜 so i have a req for Vinnie😍 based on this tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdaeQPS7/ So the readers that girl and they had like the most amazing date and for whatever reason vinnie forgot to ask her number so they never met again until years later the reader is actually a big tiktok star and moves in with nai. One day nai’s on live and vinnie’s watching and then the reader shows up on live and he’s like ???!!!!! And freaks out cause it’s the girl he’s never been able to forget. @canyoubuymetoast

Summary: An impromptu connection quickly turns into an unforgettable yet unrealistic one. Despite this a few years later Vinnie finally gets a second chance to reignite said connection. 

Warning: Tooth rotting fluff

Word Count: 3.4k

“You know your help would be great Vinnie.” Reggie says sarcastically while trying his best to figure out how to pitch their tent. Maria and Nate went off to scope the area since they already set up their tent, so it left the two Hacker brothers to figure out how to create their sleeping arrangements. 

“Yea yea one sec.” He responds placing his phone on the picnic table he was sitting on before looking up to see a German Shepard walking towards him. Vinnie’s eyes instantly brighten and a smile washes over his face as he calls the dog over. 

The black and brown dog trots over to Vinnie with a wagging tail and almost immediately the friendly animal starts to leave slobbery kisses all over Vinnie’s face. Vinnie lets out a laugh as he moves his face out of the way, but continues to the pet the dog. 

“Who’s dog is that?” Reggie asks walking over to his brother, giving up on the tent. 

“I don’t know it just came up to me. It’s friendly though.” 

Reggie simply shrugs his shoulders and joins his brother in petting the dog. However, just as Vinnie opened his mouth to suggest that they should call the number on the dogs collar an unfamiliar voice calls out. 

“Zeus! Where are you boy?” 

Reggie looks up from the dog and his mouth almost immediately drops open when he see’s a gorgeous girl searching the area looking for something. He nudges his brother who was still petting the dog and cooing at it in a baby voice. Vinnie looks up at Reggie annoyed before he decides to look at what his brothers line of vision was fixated on. 

As Vinnie looks over yours and his eyes simultaneously meet. Albeit cliché, Vinnie could’ve sworn he had the air knocked out of him just by making eye contact with you. He’s never felt anything like it before. 

You on the other hand quickly glance down and relief washes over you as you finally spot your dog that wandered off of your families campsite. You quickly walk over to Zeus, your dog and the two boys that were with him. 

“Zeus I should’ve known you went to mooch food off of strangers!” You exclaim to your dog who quickly walks over to your side before you finally look back up and make eye contact with the boys. As you do so seemingly the same effect you had on Vinnie, he had on you. How did you not realize how attractive he was when you were walking over to them? 

 “I’m sorry about him he does this at every campsite we go to. You would think we don’t feed him, but he’s just a glutton.” You say, heat washing over your face due to the fact your dog wandered off and found the most attractive guys you’ve ever seen. 

“No no it’s okay we needed a break.” Vinnie says nodding over to the unpitched tent while smiling at how flustered you got from his gaze on you. 

Reggie scoffs looking at you then his brother. “We needed a break?” He asks with a raised eyebrow. “Vinnie, I’ve been trying to set up the tent for the last 15 minutes while you were trying to find service so you could make a tiktok.”

It was now Vinnie’s turn to be flustered. “Pfft, that’s not true.” The blond says obviously fibbing and you simply look at him amused. 

“Do you guys need help? My family and I go camping every summer so I’m basically an expert at setting up tents.” You suggest. 

“Yea sure that would be great.” Vinnie says standing up for the first time in the last twenty minutes while smiling at you. Without another word the three of you walk over to the unpitched tent with Zeus following along. 

“My name is Y/N by the way.” You say glancing at Vinnie before kneeling down to work your magic.

“Vinnie and that’s Reggie.” 

And that was how you and Vinnie Hacker met, all thanks to your gluttonous dog who loved showing off his puppy dog eyes to strangers in return for food. Little did either of you know how much this small interaction would have an impact on the other. As the Hacker’s camping trip went on the more your family and Vinnie’s bumped into each other and finally one night your dad invited the Hacker’s over to your campsite for a bonfire. Almost instantly yours and Vinnie’s acquaintance status changed to friends. Soon enough your family and Vinnie’s family spent the rest of the camping trip together, going swimming, boating, tubbing and more. 

That was no different for the last full day of your camping trip. In fact Vinnie finally gathered up the courage to ask you on a date despite the fact you two originally lived hours away from each other. 

“Thank you.” You say glancing up to the waiter that just took away your empty plates and placed the bill on the table. You look back up at Vinnie who was already staring at you with admiration, causing heat to wash over your face. 

Too flustered to look at the boy in front of you, you take in the scenic view. You two sat out on the patio over looking the lake with mountains, foliage and the sun setting in the distance. The restaurant Vinnie took you to was one of the fancy ones in town and the two of you stood out like a sore thumb due to your clothes. Showing up to the restaurant and sitting down to eat in a normal t-shirt and shorts was the equivalent of eating at McDonald’s in a prom dress and suit. Yet, the disapproving stares from other patrons made the whole experience even more memorable. 

“This is very nice thank you Vinnie.” 

“Anything for you.” He says softly, placing his hand on the table in which you take without hesitating, causing both of your heart beats to increase. 

“Do you want to hit O’Riley’s after?” You ask, referencing the ice cream shop the two of you went to seemingly every day of the trip to cool off on your walk back to the campsite after a day full of activities. 

Vinnie pulls out his wallet from his shorts to pay for the expensive meal while looking at you with a smile on his face. “Great minds think alike.” 

Without another word you two leave the fancy restaurant hand in hand while receiving glares from the regular patrons. Throughout your short walk to the popular ice cream parlor in town the two of you reminisce about the past week and a half together. It honestly felt like a dream. 

“You know I wanted to hold your hand on the hike today, but I couldn’t keep up with you and Zeus.” Vinnie says, recalling the hike you guys went on along with Reggie and your brother. 

“Clearly you need to work on your stamina, City Boy. That incline wasn’t even that bad.” You joke poking Vinnie in the stomach before leaving his grasp to wander over to the menu of ice cream flavours. Vinnie was infatuated with everything about you and he adored how you made fun of him for being from Seattle. The blond lets out a laugh and follows you, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his chin on the top of your head as he analyzed the menu as well. Almost instantly you melted into his touch. 

“Okay Snow White.” He retorts back remembering how basically every animal or even bug seemingly gravitated towards you throughout the trip. 

“What can I say Vinnie. I’m just that captivating.” You say turning to look at Vinnie before winking. 

After a few minutes of waiting in line and you changing your mind on what flavour you wanted for the fifth time the two of you finally order and make your way over to a bench nearby. You weren’t a stranger to Lake Chelan and what you loved most about the small town was how close everything was. In fact the bench you and Vinnie decided to sit down on wasn’t too far from O’Riley’s, but it was close enough to the lake to witness the scenic view in full. 

Once you two sat down you guys instantly turned to each other and tapped the other’s ice cream cones, causing some of your ice cream to transfer to Vinnie’s and some of Vinnie’s to transfer to yours. You introduced this small practice to Vinnie on the third day of hanging out together. In which the reason behind it was simply because you’ve been doing it ever since you were little for good luck and to have a small taste of the other person’s ice cream. 

Vinnie watches as you taste his flavour, red velvet while your eyes light up, causing him to smile. “Holy shit yours is good.” You say before taking a lick of your flavour which was blueberry cheese cake. The blond laughs in amusement as your face of delight quickly turns into disgust. 

“Yea I definitely should have gotten yours or moose tracks.” 

Without hesitating Vinnie softly takes your ice cream cone out of your hand and switches it with his. “There you go.” 

“Vinnie, no this is yours.” You say reaching for your ice cream back, but he simply puts his hand above you and ultimately out of your reach. 

Vinnie laughs playfully as he watches you attempt to reach the cone with your original flavour from your spot beside him. “Y/N like I said earlier, anything for you.” 

You roll your eyes at the blonds cheesiness, but you end up sitting back down placing your head on his shoulder while heat washed over your body at how he made you feel.  

The sound of kids riding their bikes, crickets and birds splashing in the lake could be heard while the setting sun continued to reflect off of the water. “It’s so beautiful here.” You say after swallowing your last bite and taking in the view in front of you. 

“Yea it is.”

You turn to Vinnie and your heart begins to race when you notice he was already looking at you. Some may think this moment was cliche, but to you it was perfect. In fact your hopeless romantic dreams were being fulfilled. 

Vinnie’s gaze on you was intense and you couldn’t bring yourself to break it. Instead you found yourself flickering your eyes down to his plump lips and back up to his brown eyes. Vinnie follows your lead and his proximity causes your breath to hitch. 

Without wasting another second Vinnie finally moves in and acts on what he has been wanting to do ever since he got to know you. His lips meet yours and you instantly kiss back, wanting for this to happen for a while yourself. 

The kiss was short yet sweet and passionate while leaving both of you flustered. You place your head back onto Vinnie’s shoulder, your hand finding his and intertwining your fingers. A comfortable silence falls upon you two as both of you take in the perfect moment.

“I don’t want this trip to end.” Vinnie says breaking the silence while rubbing his thumb across your skin and admiring the scenic view in front of him. 

It scared Vinnie how fast his feelings for you developed and continued to do so and he was quite frankly disappointed that you guys live so far away from each other. Although you both lived in the same state you lived closer to Portland while he remained in Seattle. You two created a once in a lifetime connection throughout a camping trip and it seemed as if it was going to end just like that. 

“I promise I’ll say goodbye and give you my number before we leave tomorrow don’t worry.” You say lifting your head off of Vinnie’s shoulder before placing a kiss on his cheek. The whole trip you refused to give Vinnie your number or social medias simply because you realized their was more to life than the internet. You would rather be going hiking or playing in the rain than being on your phone, which Vinnie adored considering he was so consumed with his platform on TikTok. 

However, your promise would ultimately be broken when Vinnie woke up the next morning. The blond boy walked over to your campsite with a small bouquet of wildflowers he picked along the way. He could hear the beat of his heart in every step he took, knowing this would be the last time he saw you for a while. 

When Vinnie reached your campsite his heart and the bouquet of flowers simultaneously dropped at the same time. Your site was empty. In fact, it looked as if you and your family didn’t even stay there. The only thing that proved that you were there were the tire tracks of your families RV. Now the site was ready for the next group of campers to come in and make their own memories. 

Even though you and Vinnie only spent a week and a half together it felt like you two created a lifetime worth of intimate moments and memories. He doesn’t understand how he got so attached to you in such a short amount of time, but he did. The blond boy lets out a deep sigh before turning around to go back to his site, leaving the memories you two created and flowers he brought you behind. 

- 

Vinnie lets out a big yawn as he stretches in bed. He grabs his phone and checks the time. 2:43pm. The night before the blond streamed Valorant on twitch until 4 in the morning so there was no wonder as to why he was just waking up. Deciding to stay in bed for a little longer, Vinnie cuddles into his sheets and opens TikTok, Hera joining him a little bit later.

As he scrolls he likes a few and comments on some of his friends posts. However, his incessant scrolling comes to a stop when his for you page lands on a video of Nai’s. Vinnie watches it, but as he does so a familiar face is shown causing his heart rate to increase while butterflies erupted in his stomach. Who knew that one person could still elicit these feelings out of him two years later?

There was no way. It couldn’t be you in the video. Yet there you were in Nai’s tiktok showing off your gecko. You looked the same, but so different at the same time. Vinnie couldn’t help himself, but to watch the tiktok a few more times, every time his smile getting bigger and his heart fuller. 

Luckily for him Nai tagged you in the caption in which Vinnie took this opportunity to check out your profile and make sure it was actually you and his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. Right away he knew it was in fact you. 

You had just under a million followers and were on the brink of getting verified. As Vinnie scrolled through your profile he finds your first tiktok that went viral and ultimately kick started your career. The video was of you eight months ago running and dancing around in the rain in the middle of the road. Vinnie smiles as he watches and he couldn’t help, but to feel flustered at the fact he finally found you after all these years. 

It made him happy to see that you seemingly stayed the same personality wise. From what he remembered you loved everything about nature and animals so there was no surprise to see your account full of videos of you enjoying what you loved. In fact your most viral videos consisted of your ring neck parakeet, Athena. 

Just as Vinnie was about to hit the follow button on your account a text from Alex popped up. 

I was planning on throwing a chill party tonight is that okay?

He clicked and stared at the message for a few seconds. Seemingly Nai would be invited which meant if you were with her still Nai would likely bring you as her plus one. 

Yea ofc. 

Vinnie spent the rest of the day going through your social media accounts. He wanted to follow you on every platform possible, but he didn’t want that to creep you out so he decided it was best to wait and see if you came tonight. After all his odds were looking in his favour as the time until the get together dwindled and you and Nai continued to post with each other. 

The blond walks out of his washroom freshly showered with a towel around his waist and into his large room. He could hear a bunch of voices and music coming from down stairs so the party must have already started. Just as Vinnie was about to drop his towel to get dressed a familiar voice is heard from the other side of his door. 

“Knock knock!” Nai shouts. 

“One sec!” Vinnie calls out quickly, throwing on boxers and a pair of black cargo pants before rummaging through his dresser for a shirt. “Come in!” 

Almost instantly the door flies open revealing Nailea in all her glory. Vinnie glances over to her in hopes you were with the brunette, but his hopes fall when he see’s you’re no where to be found. 

“You seriously need to stop making thirst traps in the shower we all thought you slipped and died with how long you were taking.” Nai says walking into the room and flopping onto Vinnie’s bed. 

Vinnie lets out a laugh while he continued to look for a shirt he wanted to wear, his mind being clouded with thoughts of you. Nai was wearing the same outfit she was wearing in the instagram stories she posted with you today so where were you? 

Just as Vinnie turns around, putting on a shirt with the intent to discretely ask Nai about you a familiar, but nostalgic voice could be heard in the hallway over Alex’s loud laugh from downstairs. “Nai?” 

“In here!” 

“Jeez this house is huge I need a map just to leave the washroom.” You say walking into the unfamiliar bedroom. As you do so your eyes lock with Vinnie’s and both of your heart rates increase significantly. Heat washes over you under Vinnie’s gaze and you couldn’t help, but to feel confused. He looked so familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on where you recognize him from. 

Vinnie on the other hand felt as if his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Throughout the past few years he imagined scenarios where he would run into you back at home or at Lake Chelan, but finally being in your presence again caused him to not know how to act. 

“Y/N this is Vinnie the friend of mine I wanted you to meet.” Nai says looking at you. “And Vinnie this is Y/N. I think you guys will click instantly especially since you’re both from Washington.” 

“Nice to meet you. Can I sit?” You ask nodding over to Vinnie’s bed where Nai was sitting, petting Hera. 

“Y-yea of course.” The blond stutters out causing his cheeks to go red. However, a pang of hurt rings throughout the boys heart when he realizes you don’t remember him. 

Quickly you make your way over to Vinnie’s bed and without wasting another second you extend your hand out for Hera to smell before petting her. Vinnie watches as you do so. You looked even more beautiful than when he first met you two years prior, if that was even possible. Although you looked slightly different due to the fact you graciously grew into your features Vinnie could tell your personality stayed the same as you continued to gravitate towards animals. 

“What’s this cuties name?” You ask scratching under Hera’s chin, causing her to purr before you smile at Vinnie. 

“Her name is Hera.” 

You let out a gasp, “Did you know Hera was married to Zeus?” You say, recalling your past obsession of Greek Mythology. By now Nai was zoned out of your conversation and was scrolling on tiktok. 

“Yea I actually named her after a girl that I met at Lake Chelan, who’s dog was named Zeus.” Vinnie says with a toothy smile on his face. 

Your eyes widen and you look back over to the blond, your heart beating a mile a minute while you finally connected the dots. 

“City boy?” You breathe out. 

[floraltypes]

lots of innocent and not so innocent touches

With Dwayne Pride if you wright for him if you don't just Gibbs please <3

who - leroy jethro gibbs x reader

an - i’m sorry! i haven’t seen ncis new orleans, so i probably couldn’t write dwayne very well … hope this is okay, for some reason i had trouble writing it :/

please continue to send in asks !!

unedited :/

Blankets surrounded your body, your leg ontop of another while light snores left your mouth. Hair was messed up and a hand was slowly moving to stroke your cheek. The curtains allowed peaks of the sunlight to peak through in your bedroom. A man lying beside you in his sweatpants and old tee.

The grey haired, older, man kept his eyes on your peacefully sleeping face, truly enjoying whatever dream you were imagining. He made no move to remove your leg from the top of his, but did make a move to place his fingers above your face, lightly pushing some stray baby hairs away.

A part of him silently cursed to himself, wishing that he had learned how to work his phone better, then being able to snap a photo of this calming moment for his own purposes.

Gibbs wouldn’t admit it to you, but these moments were more important to him than working on a boat, or the thrill after finally catching a bastard. There was something so domestic, so calming, with these times spent together. Time for him to think to himself, and also have the one he loves so much be so close.

Time to think about the past, and wonder how he got lucky enough for it to land here. Though, he may have lost a lot, and they would never be forgotten, he was grateful for another opportunity at pure happiness.

But his time to enjoy the peacefulness soon ended with a ring of a cellphone, causing you to stir a bit in your sleep. You eventually opened your eyes, staring up at the man who now had the hand that was formally on your face, resting on your chest.

“What’s that?” You questioned, trying to sit up and rub your eyes. “Can you get it?”

“It’s your cellphone,” He answered, missing the warmth of your leg, now having it be moved to lay on the mattress itself.

“Mmk,” You mumbled, reaching over to your side table and grabbing it. Flipping the screen up, you moved it to your ear. “L/n,” You tried to make your morning voice sound more as your own.

“If it isn’t little Y/n!” A cheerful voice spoke loudly on the other line. “Ya miss me?”

“No. What do you need?” You rolled your eyes, getting off of the bed, Gibbs eyes traveling your body as you walked to your dresser, picking out a outfit. “Mhm, okay,” You nodded to yourself. “I’ll be there, text me the address. Oh. Never mind then. Bye.”

Gibbs got out of the bed, going to stand beside you. He silently observed as you rolled your eyes once again, opening another drawer, he snaked his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest, a small kiss on the inside of your neck.

“Who’s that?”

“A old coworker.” You opened your underwear drawer, picking a pair for the day.

“Purple,” Gibbs commented, as you dropped the blue pair back into the others, reaching for the one he chose.

“Gosh, it’s like we really are married,” You laughed to yourself, looking back at his straight face. “Sorry, you would know too much about that. But that’s not my point, there is a dead marine there and that means we’ve got work.”

“You didn’t seem to happy to hear from him,” Gibbs unwrapped his arms as you moved to your closet, picking out a dress shirt.

“I wasn’t. He’s annoying and almost cost me my job at the time. But, it’s our job, we have to go, so grab your clothes in the bottom drawers,” You turned around and pointed at the dresser that held some of his items, now finding what you needed and beginning to change.

———————-

“If you are all interested to know… I spent the morning watching a old TV show airing about a classic comedic couple who travels the world with their adopted son,” Tony announced to no one in particular, sitting at his desk as the others sat at theirs.

Ziva had her arms crossed, leaning back in her chair a bit. McGee sat in his, rubbing his eyes and looking down at his phone.

“What did you do this morning, McGee?” Ziva looked over to McGee, watching as his eyebrows furrowed.

“Trying to work on my new writing.. but for my character, uh, Miranda, I need a good backstory for her, people are really grasping onto her character from the former story. I’ve read some things saying they think she’ll get with Gibbs, I mean Libbs!”

“Interesting,” Ziva tsked. “I read the story and your Miranda character, who is obviously Y/n, and I don’t see it.”

“You know nothing about romance, Ziva,” Tony waltzed over, his own coffee in hand and his face near hers. “I think no one expects you to think about who would get together. But, no, I don’t see Gibbs getting with someone like L/n who is very, you know-”

“I’m what, DiNozzo?” You walked in, moving straight to your desk as you placed your bag down.

“Amazing! I meant, you’re so great that someone like Gib-” Tony looked at Ziva’s eyes widen. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

“Someone like me, now what’s that, DiNozzo?” Gibbs questioned.

“Uh-” Gibbs smacked the back of DiNozzos head, moving over to his own desk.

“Dead sailor, body is already getting examined by Ducky and some visitors are coming to drop off some of the evidence.” Gibbs informed everyone.

“They think this sailor had something to do with a past robbery and murder, a cold case,” You clarified.

“L/n!” A guy smiled widely, another girl following in pursuit behind him as he walked to you with his arms wide open. “It’s been too long,” He quickly hugged you, tightening his grip around your shoulders and moving his hands to cup your face. “You still look as beautiful as ever!”

“Y/n, is that your boyfriend?” Ziva inquired.

“He looks a little out of her leagu-” You shot DiNozzo a look. “Or not?”

“Ah no,” The man laughed. “Old coworkers, that is Lila and I’m Carson, nice to meet you guys.”

“If your old coworkers, you must have a ton of embarrassing stories about Y/n!” DiNozzo beamed, moving closer to Carson.

“Uh, a few,” He responded. “We only worked together for a year or two, some, but not a ton.”

“Some will do.”

“DiNozzo, we aren’t here to make friends we are here to solve a murder,” Gibbs shot him a look and hit the back of his head.

“Right, sorry, boss.” DiNozzo put his head down like a sad puppy dog and made his way back to his desk. The two visitors looked at the scene that had just happened oddly.

“We brought all of our evidence, not much, but something,” Lila announced, placing the box on the table now and taking some of it out. “Should we get started?”

“I’ll show you to Abby, she is our forensic analysts and will probably want to take a look at this stuff for herself,” McGee told Lila, putting the evidence back in the box and letting her grab it, soon walking towards the elevator.

“You think I could check out the body?” Carson asked you. “It might be good to see what he looked like more and talk with your doctor.”

“That makes sense, I’ll show you to him,” You smiled at your old coworker and took another way to Ducky’s area.

The both of you chatted on the way down, catching up with how things differ since you worked there and a bit about your new workplace here.

“I really thought you would be Jeremy, the one who called me. I was a bit worried,” You laughed, walking into Autopsy with Carson as Ducky moved near you.

“Hello, dear, who’s this?” Ducky questioned, Jimmy moved near his boss.

“Hey, Ducky, this is Carson. Carson, this is Doctor Mallard. He is a old coworker of mine, Ducky,” You told the older man. “That’s Jimmy, he is Ducky’s assistant.”

Ducky began to explain how the man had died, pointing out various things on the body and even putting in a few past experiences of his own into the conversation.

Soon the four of you had heard the doors open, turning around to catch the view of your boyfriend entering into the room and moving to stand right in between you and Carson.

“I just want to hear some of the explanation myself, you can continue, Ducky,” Gibbs commented, all of your eyes turning back onto Ducky who was back to talking.

You felt a warm, larger hand travel to the middle of your back, a thumb softly pressing into the fabric that covered your skin. You turned your head slightly to make eye contact with Gibbs, but he just continued to stare forward ignoring it.

It was like a goosebump went up your spine, yet it wasn’t not encouraged. It was a bit of a energetic feeling, so you rejoiced in the innocent touch, a sign he was there.

Eventually, Ducky was done with his long explanation and you were back to heading upstairs with Carson and Gibbs to do more research regarding the deadman and cold case.

“So, Y/n, I was thinking we could go out to lunch or something soon to really catch up, outside of work,” Carson mentioned while you three were on the elevator ride up.

You were surprised at his somewhat boldness to announce this in front of your boss (and boyfriend), but he was always a very open person, kind and open.

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” You replied.

“We are busy most afternoons.” Gibbs added. “So, if you plan it at some ridiculous time don’t expect my agent to be able to make it.”

The doors soon chimed open and Carson quickly left, making a bee line straight to Lila. Gibbs let you leave first, placing another palm against your back to secretly lead you back to where the desks were, even though you knew where you were going.

———————

The rest of the day was spent with much more working diligently. You all had made some progress but not enough, and you could tell it was really getting to Gibbs. He dismissed everyone and told them to come back in the early hours in the morning.

Gibbs had told you that he was going to stay and work on this some more, so you told him you would stay as well and order some food. Once Carson had heard that, he decided that he would do the same.

A hour later, three burgers arrive and you hand them out to the two other men, soon taking a bite into yours. A bit of the condiment had spewed onto the corners of your mouth, but your hunger caught up with you, continuing to avoid the feeling for a moment and just eat.

Carson caught the look of your messiness, breaking off into a small laugh, and you joining, him then making a joke about how this used to be a regular for you. Gibbs got up from his seat with a napkin and bent over a bit to wipe it away from your mouth.

It was certainly a small gesture, but had caught you and Carson off guard, the both of you quieting. You just stared back at him while he continued to eat with a pride grin on his lips, looking over the papers.

It seemed like a blessing from the sky when Gibbs had finally connected the pieces. Everyone was called back in to look over what he found and to excite a plan on how to continue. You all were able to get the murderer into custody and with old evidence and Ducky’s help you were able to identify he was the killer. With Abby’s help you were able to put him at the scene where your old coworkers cold case took place.

It was a relieving feeling that the case was solved and over. It was easy to tell that your current coworkers were also happy with the fact that your old ones were leaving for good. Having unfamiliar people in a familiar place is always a weird feeling for everyone.

You watched as everyone packed up their things to head home from the tiring few days of work. Standing up, you grabbed your bag and moved to Gibbs desk, chatting with him until Carson came over.

“It was nice working with you again,” He commented, you turned around to face him.

“It was. We make a good team.”

“We really do. I was wondering about that, uh, date?”

“Hm,” That had slipped your mind, and almost did once more when you felt a brush of a hand against your bottom, turning around to make eyes at your boyfriend. “Sorry, I actually have a boyfriend. But if you mean the lunch date to catch up, then I’d love to.”

“The second one,” He nodded, his cheeks brightening a bit at the dejection but also confirmation.

“Great,” You grinned, writing down your phone number and handing it to him. “Talk soon, bye.”

“Goodbye.”

You watched as Carson entered the elevator and soon disappeared, the office area looking very empty with the lights darkened a bit and only you and Gibbs being in the area.

“Glad he’s gone,” Gibbs laughed.

“I figured,” You laughed alongside with him. “I could tell by your touchiness at work, are you trying to let everyone know?”

“If I was, I would do something bolder. Didn’t Ducky ever tell you I used to be like DiNozzo?”

“Yeah, that would be a interesting time to see.”

“I think if I was that same man, we might’ve had sex right o-”

“Let’s get home, now,” You both soon left the workplace, hand in hand, laughing along at stories of the younger Gibbs and his flirty persona.

[bonny-kookoo]

Delicate (JJK x Reader) 🐾💜☁️🔞

🧶Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

🧶Genre: hybrid!AU, Tsundere (slightly), Fluff, a bit of Angst, smut

🧶Warnings: Jungkook is a brat, Catboy!Jungkook, He basically hates everyone but his kitten, HUman! Reader, Wet dream, masturbation, big dick! Kook but whats new, Sweet reader, Spanking (and not on her butt if you know what I mean), Rough handjob (fem. Rec), doggy style, Desperate koo, overstimulation, forced orgasm, multiple orgasm, slightly angsty moment, but nothing bad lol, confessions, basically owner/Hybrid to lovers lol

🧶Summary: Jungkook does whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Changing for you might be harder than he initially thought- but maybe he doesn't even need to. Maybe you'll love him just for who he actually is.

Jungkook was a maine coon hybrid. He's been at the shelter for years now, adopted just to be returned a week later, every time. He's got serious additude problems, thinks way too highly of himself, is just overall too much to handle. He knows that. But that doesn't mean he wants to change.

No, he actually actively decides to be a dick. Simply irritating others is like some sort of game for him, feeding his ego to no ends whenever someone gives up on him. It's like he's winning.

Jungkook loves winning.

It all however, changes as soon as he spots you. You're small, and not in a sense of short- no, you actually look like a doll to him. So delicate, so adorable, Jungkook can't help but stare with wide, green cateyes. His pupils are contracted as if you're too bringt for them to handle, yet its only the amount of sudden emotions that's making them look like that. As soon as you turn around, spotting him, smiling at him, they widen like the moon itself; making the cat-hybrid next to him wave a hand in front of his face, since he completely blocked out the fact that the older hybrid was talking to him. He irritatedly swishes his hand away, ears now perked up as his fluffy tail twitches every second or so. He can hear your voice, soft and sweet, and he's whipped already.

Jungkook wants you.

He stands up suddenly, completely dismissing the hybrid that he'd conversed with earlier, as he walks over to you, who's standing in front of another area filled with dog hybrids. He scrunches his nose in disgust; you don't need one of those mutts, you need him. He stops a footstep away from you, and the worker sighes as you look up at the hybrid. "Oh, thats Jungkook-" he explains. "He's one of our problem cases, so I wouldn't really reccomend him for you." He explains, and Jungkooks brows furrow. Who the fuck does he think he is, calling him a problem case? He knows its true, but that doesn't mean he can just say that out loud to anyone, especially not you. How's he supposed to gain your trust now?

You smile, now visibly a little intimitated. Jungkook knows why, knows that his physique is pretty much yelling strength and confidence. He suddenly gets an idea, and decides to try it out. No hurt in playing around a little.

So he lets his ears droop, and slowly walks back towards the corner of the room, simply sitting down there before flopping to his side, huffing out a breath as if exhausted. He hoped it works, otherwise he's pulling this stunt without reason, making a fool of himself for nothing. But it seems as if it works, slowly, because he can spot your now slightly worried eyes watching him as the worker leads you along, to meet some other dog hybrids. He knows he's got you. He just has to wait.

Jungkook loves taking naps.

And this time, it helped time pass by easily, as he suddenly smells your fabric softener again, as he can hear the worker try and talk you out of it. He can feel you behind him as he'd rolled around on his spot to face the wall, and he visibly shudders as your hand touches his tail. He turns around slowly, tired eyes spotting you squatting down close to his back, as he sits up. He looks at you curiously, and you suddenly smile, leaning your head slightly to the side, your earrings dangling prettily from your ears as he can't look away. You're even prettier up close and personal like this. "So, you're Jungkook?" You ask, and he forgets to answer for a moment, nods after he notices the awkward silence, as he blushes. You giggle, and sit down properly, obviously intending to get to know him more.

Good.

He sits properly as well, not saying anything, as you ask away. "They said you're quite the troublemaker." You amusedly state, and Jungkook suddenly has the urge to roll his eyes. He doesn't however, knowing all his acting would've been for nothing if he slipped now. So he simply looks down, his ears slightly bend backwards as he scratches his neck. "But I think you're just a bit rough around the edges." You explain, and his eyes move, looking at you as you continue. "Like a diamond, you know? They need to be handled carefully, and then they turn into the prettiest things." You say, and he already decides he loves your voice. He carefully answers.

"You think so?"

He can see the surprise in your face, it's to be expected. His tone doesn't fit his current act at all, but he can't change that. But you smile, nodding, and he internally sighs at that, at the fact that you simply accepted that. "Look-" You suddenly say, pulling out your phone and showing him a balcony, with pretty flowers blooming. You swipe, and it shows what he assumes is your apartment. It's small, he notices, but for some reason it looks more inviting than any place he'd ever been to. It looks cozy, well taken care of, and a tad bit unruled; it looks like a home. His eyes sparkle with actual genuine interest. "We could put some blankets here, the sun shines there nicely throughout the day, so you could take some awesome naps there-" You explain, and his ears perk into your direction at that. "Oh, and during the summer you can always stay on the balcony- its really nice there when its hot you know? The cool breeze is nice." You say, and suddenly notice how he's looking at you, expecting something. "I mean-" You stutter suddenly, locking your phone and growing a bit shy at him being so close to you. You have to admit; he's really handsome. "Only if you want to come with me, that is." You ask, and he suddenly nods.

Jungkook would love to come home with you.

That was a year ago, and your home slowly became his own home as well, more perfect than those photos could ever convey.

As you walk around the apartment, he notices how you carry some of your own stuff into another room- smaller than the original bedroom. At his confused glance, you scratch the back of your neck, right where he knows your scent is strongest, and he gets the urge to bury his nose into the spot. "Oh! I just uhm.. last night you slept in front of my door, so I thought you may want to change rooms? You're bigger than me, so you need more space, i think?" You say, and he shakes his head with a soft smile, walking up to you and stopping you in your tracks.

"N-No.. Actually, I wanted to ask you something." He wonders, now not looking at you anymore, as you look up at his eyes. "I uhm.." He starts, swallowing some saliva to finally get the words out. "I was wondering if I could sleep in your room."

Its quiet for a moment, and he grows anxious at this, thinking that he had just overstepped some boundary he didn't know of yet. "Like- I mean, I get lonely during the night, and you said once that you need to hug something to sleep well and maybe you could hug me and we would safe costs for heating because two people are warmer than just one and-" He rambles on, and you put your hands on his shoulders, making him shut up in the midst of talking. Your touch does that to him, most of the time. It's like magic, addicting, and he can't help but swallow again, now however not because of fear.

"You should've said something sooner, silly!" You say, reaching up to scratch his ear, which involuntarily makes him purr as he presses against your hand. "Of course you can. Don't worry so much, kookie." You say, and he smiles at this, happy that he was finally closer to you.

Jungkook is such a sweet cat, in your eyes. He's gentle, always so ready to help you with whatever problem you have, lending you a hand with household chores; he's truly the perfect hybrid at your side.

So, so sweet.

Scratch that.

Jungkook was currently eyeing your best friend down, ears pinned back while his fluffy tail was standing tall, agression clear in his entire posture. "Wow, ok. What's with him?" Yoongi asks, unsure on what exactly was going on. Maybe it was Hoesok's scent on him that agitated him? But he couldn't know for sure. Instead of you however, Jungkook answered in his low voice, clearly offended by something. He doesn't klnow why this always happens.

"Don't talk like I'm not here, asshole." He spits out, and your eyes widen. Jungkook was such a sweet guy around you, it was hard to imagine this was actually happening time and time again. He was watching Yoongi with careful eyes, pupils contracted to slits as his greenish eyes pin the older man down with their stare. He's cautious, and you don't quite know about what, until Yoongi makes the mistake of reaching out for you.

Before so much as his fingertips can reach you, Jungkook has already jumped from his spot, shoving the shorter man back with so much force he almost falls into the small coffee table behind him. "Jungkook!" You exclaim scandalized, as he turns around at your tone of voice. Looking at your posture, taking in your scent, he can sense immediately that you're scared, confused, and he hates it. "Apologize." You demand, and Jungkook shakes his head, unwavering, before you sigh out, pointing towards the bedroom door. "Then get inside. And don't come out until I say so." You say, and his ears pin themselves back again, however his shoulders slump down as well, visibly deflating. He's actually sorry now- but it's too late to force himself to apologize to Yoongi; that intruder who's clearly here to claim territory. "Now." You say, and Jungkook suddenly breaks eye contact with you, letting himself be defeated for the first time since he was adopted.

For some reason, your voice hangs heavy on his muscles, heavier than any collar ever hung around his neck.

He hates this. He hates that he has to give up the fight to this complete stranger just because you said so; yet he can't will himself to go against your will. He wants to stay, he wants to be good, but he cant help but grow hostile with another guy in the same apartment as you. It's as if he's giving you up, and that's definitely not what he wants to do. But its ultimately whats happening.

And he hates it.

Jungkook isn't a sweet kitty. He's an untamed tiger, just simply agreeing on living with you, and that has become very apparent these months. He likes to pick on you, and loves to make a mess. There's nothing left of the oh so sweet and caring catboy you adopted a year ago, but it somehow doesn't bother you. You know that he was eager to get out of the shelter, and that he had been pretending for long enough.

This was Jungkooks true nature, and you were okay with that.

He was a bit of a brat, throwing down objects placed by you whenever you weren't home, simply to show you his unhappiness about that fact. He knew that you had to work, but that didn't mean that he liked it.

He also had a major enemy now.

Seokjin across the street, Namjoons prized silver labrador hybrid, or so he calls him. He's handsome, you have to admit, but Jungkook can't see anything visually appealing about the mutt. He hates him with a passion, and its quite possibly because of his very flirty nature, especially towards you. Jungkook wasn't talented in that department, he rather enjoyed picking on you than complimenting you. Compliments got boring after a while. Calling you shorty and watching you struggle to reach the highest shelf would never get old to him, however.

He likes to call Seokjin a rat for his grey features, just to see him get all offended, and he doesn't care much that you always scold him for it. He likes to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and he's been testing you long enough to somehow know when the fun is over. He'd never intentionally hurt you, emotionally nor physically, but that doesn't mean he can't pick on you now and then.

Its his own way of showing affection. You just don't quite get it, it seems.

Its when you leave for a late night business gathering to celebrate the company's anniversary that he breaks. He simply pretends to be asleep as he waits for you to leave, simply peeking at your dress though almost closed eyes, and he wishes he didn't do it. Your scent is driving him crazy already, yet you were always careful to cover up around him, seemingly conscious about him and the fact that he is, apart from his cat side, still a young man. He wont ever be able to burn that image of your perfect legs in that perfect little dress out of his mind now that he's seen it. And its the kiss you place on his cheek that pushes him over the edge, makes him struggle to stay composed until he can hear the front door close shut.

He whines out, turning around on the bed as he buries his face into the sheets, into the spot that's usually occupied by your form. It still smells like you; not like you when you try to use perfume, which he hates, but your unmasked smell he absolutely loves. It fills his senses, makes him squirm on the mattress as he turns, bunching the sheets between his legs as he begins to hump into nothing, the friction of the bed sheets enough to rile him up as he bites the pillow your head usually rests on. He can see it in front of him vividly like a dream he's experiencing right in that moment. You, laid out underneath him, his teeth not clamping down on fabric but your delicate skin, making such wonderful noises as he takes you like the good and sweet girl you are for him. How enticingly you would mewl, arching your back as he guides his leaking cock inside you, stretching you out as his hands would hold you close, keep you upright so you wont just smash onto the mattress onto your face. He curses as he picks up his pace, simple movement not enough anymore as his hand reaches down, frustratingly palming his impatient erection hidden underneath his sweatpants as his dream continues, showing him how you would say his name, breathlessly, as you would look over your shoulder.

Then it shifts, as his mind is suddenly focusing on your face. Would you be into giving him head? Oh god, if you would, he knows he wouldn't be able to last; with your innocent eyes, kneeled in front of him, so eagerly taking his cock he couldn't help but cum inside your throat. And he knows you would be such a good kitten, you would swallow him down prettily, and he would praise you so good. "Hnng, fuck..!" He exclaims, as he writhes on top of the sheets, messing everything up, but he doesn't care.

He never really thought about that weird missionary position humans liked, but he could actually see the appeal of it, if he was doing it with you. To be able to see every change of your features, how your soft lips would part in pleasure as he fills you up like you should be, oh it would be a sight for him to see. His eyes squeeze shut as he turns his head, groaning loudly as he almost sobs brokenly into the pillow, feeling his release stain the fabric of his sweats uncomfortably. But he doesn't care, as he sniffles, breathing heavily before he chuckles.

"Fuck, I'm pathetic."

Can hybrids outgrow their owners?

It certainly feels like it. Jungkook has been growing more and more distant to you, and you feel as if its your own fault. You must've done something wrong, you assume, as he distances himself more and more not only from you, but everyone else as well. He doesn't pick up a fight with Seokjin anymore, hell, he even let Yoongi inside yesterday. And you try to push back your tears as you walk inside the living room, where he's currently sitting, watching the window, tail lazily swaying softly. Maybe the apartment really was too small for him- you've head your neighborly lady complain recently about that when she saw him through the window. Maybe you weren't the right person for him.

"Jungkookie?" You carefully ask, as you see his tail twitch, a sign that he noticed you. "We need to talk." You start, and he gets up, ready to leave the room.

"Well I don't want to though, your bad." He responds, and you reach for his hand, as he whips his head around, ready to bite an answer out, but he spots something in your gaze that makes him stop in his tracks.

"We need to.. I can't- I can't make that decision for you, we need to talk about where you wanna go." His brows furrow as he tries to figure out what you're implying, a weird feeling in his gut telling him that it's something he wont like at all. "I want you to be happy, even if its not with me kookie." You sigh out, and he connects the dots, suddenly realizing what you're saying.

"Ho- wait no no-" His eyes widen, and you look at him as he shakes his head at you, suddenly defensive. "You want to give me away?!" He barks out, bushy tail behind him angrily whipping from one side to the other. "I don't want to! You said this is my home, you can't make me leave!" He spits at you, and you grow confused.

"But-" You start. "You've been so uncomfortable around me Kook, it's okay if you don't want to live with me anymore, really. Namjoon said that sometimes Hybrids outgrow their owners-" You say, but Jungkooks eyes glint angrily.

"Namjoon doesn't know shit!" He yells, and you shut up at that. "I don't want to go, I won't ever go!" He finalizes, and you are on your last leg. He's completely confusing you at this point.

"Then tell me what I'm supposed to do! You're clearly not comfortable around me anymore, what am I supposed to do?!" You yell back, voice by far not as strong as his, but it riles him up enough that he snaps.

"There's nothing you can do about my fucking hormones giving me wet dreams about you like a teenager!" He says, and your eyes widen, making his ears grow red in shame. "There, I said it. Want me to spell it out? I want to fuck you, there you go!" He says, throwing his hands in the air for good measure as he breathes heavily, giving both of you a moment to process his confession. He suddenly grows more quiet, more calm, his voice in no way as harsh and loud as before. "No.. no that's not right." He admits, and comes to conclusion that its now or never. "I want to hold you at night like a lover does, not just a hybrid and his owner. I want you to see me as a partner, not just as a pet." he states, gaze falling downwards as his ears flop to the sides, tail unmoving behind him.

"I never saw you as just a pet, Koo." You say, and he perks up at that, as you walk closer to him, hugging him closely, as he stands a bit awkwardly, before deciding to hug you back. "I didn't want to take advantage of you." You say, and he grows hopeful.

"Does that mean you.. like me like that?" He asks, and you nod into his chest.

Making him grin like an idiot.

Its after this moment that things slowly change a bit. He's still picking on you whenever he can, but he's also being awfully suggestive ever since your talk. Its like he wants to know what runs your gears more clearly these days, as he's making sure to flaunt his post workout body every now and then just to see you turn red at the sight.

He loves how he makes you shy.

Its you however, who breaks him first.

The day he can't keep his hands off of you is the day the spider in your shower decided to jump down on you, scaring the life out of your body as you screach in horror, fleeing the scene in nothing but a towel as you safe yourself into the bedroom, where Jungkook had been taking a nap before hearing your scream. He's ready to laugh at you, until he notices the towel barely hanging onto what you hold against your chest, skin still slightly damp as only your hair is still dry. He can't help himself anymore. "Hm.. how about I get your mind off of that scary little insect?" He humms from behind you, and you open your mouth to retort a snappy remark, but you don't get that far.

He's already behind you, his legs placing themselves next to yours on the bed as he hooks his own over yours, spreading your legs for him as he takes the bits of towel out of your hands, making it fall to the sides, revealing your body to him, at last. He can't help but lick his lips at the sight he gets from over your shoulder, purring loudly as he licks at your neck, finally getting a taste of you; and it's energizing, like a drug, making a shiver run through his spine as his tail twitches behind him in pleasure. You gasp out loud as he bites down, hand reaching between your legs to move his middle and ring finger inside your already wettening center, making him groan. "So ready.." He muses, loving the sounds you make, as he obnoxious noise of squelching from the wettness between your legs with every movement of his fingers fills the room. You struggle to close your legs at the sensation, but he doesn't let you; instead gently hitting your cunt as if to put you back into place, while he groans. "Bad girl. This is mine, isn't it?" He asks, and you can't answer for a moment. "This-" He says, his hand forcefully coming down onto your pussy again, as you squeal from it. "Is mine, isn't it?" He asks again, and you nod over and over again, making him smile. "That's right. And I do what I want with it." He says, before he pumps his fingers in and out at a relentless pace, uncaring of the mess he's making as you squirm and mewl in his lap. He loves this, loves how the sounds he imagined you making can't ever compare to what he's currently hearing. He has to take you.

He removes his hand, undressing himself impatiently as he turns you over for him, behind presented to him as he licks his lips again. "So pretty." He praises, and pumps his length once, twice, before he enters your smooth center, already feeling as if he's in heaven. "I promise I-" He starts, but has to moan out as you clench around him particularly hard. "I promise I'll be gentle next time-" He says, before his palms find your breasts, kneading them in his palms as he kisses along your spine. "But I need you." He whines out, making you huff out a breath as you look over your shoulder, just like he imagined. "Fuck!" He presses out, skin against skin one of the many sounds apart from your heavy breathing and shared sounds of pleasure inside the room, spider long forgotten as you suddenly arch your back into him. "My kitten's gonna cum? Hm?" He asks, and a cute moan is all he gets- all he needs, as you try to get up a bit more, making him push your neck into the pillows below, careful to let you breath as your cheek is what meets the fabric below, his other hand brushing away your hair lovingly, so that he can watch you come undone. "So sweet, so submissive.." He humms out, as he dips down, your back against his chest as he kisses underneath your earlobe, amusement clear in his voice. "Such a cute little whore for me, my sweetest princess, so beautiful.." He praises, and you moan out obscenely as you come, his pace never stopping once. "You're gonna have to-" He says, moving more desperately now to reach his own peak. "You're gonna have to take it baby." He presses out, holding your hips as he forces them onto him with more strength, making you whine in overstimulation. "Almost there- there we go-" He exclaims, uncaringly rubbing your clit between your legs as you shiver violently underneath him, second orgasm hitting you so quickly that your body can't seem to prepare itself as you feel wetness escape you, making him groan loudly. "What a good girl, look at that- ah!" He exclaims, pushing himself as deep as he can as you feel him spurt his load inside you, finally stopping, finally calming down.

"Jungkook?" You ask out of breath, as he simply holds you close, still buried inside of you, falling to the side as he buries his nose in between the crook of your neck.

"Hmm.. no, lets stay like that.." He humms sleepily, and you simply close your eyes, agreeing to his statement.

Jungkook is not a sweet cat- but he certainly has his moments.

"Kitten?" He asks, as he notices you being weirdly quiet next to him on the couch, now noticing the tears on your cheeks. "You're such a crybaby!" He laughs, as he wipes away your tears with his sweater sleeve, making you pout.

"Not fair." You mumble out, and he simply chuckles, placing a kiss ontop of your nose.

[whiskersz]

hiiiii (*´︶`*)ฅ♡ wonderful writing ! could we maybe have some hcs/a scenario of a Madeleine Cookie and a reader who struggles with insomnia/constant exhaustion ? thank u !

hello! i'm glad you like my writing! here you go, I don't know much about Madeleine so he might be a little ooc but i don't think there's much content of him anyways? so this is my interpretation ;' enjoy!

Madeleine x Reader with insomnia/exhaustion

Exhausted, that's the word you felt like was most appropriate to describe how you had been feeling for days on end; as Madeleine's right hand man, your duties had always been taxing, if not a bit repetitive, and struggling with insomnia didn't help you get them done quickly.

But lately it had been especially hard to focus on them because of how late you were falling asleep, and how early you would wake up to make sure everything was in order, retreating only once the sun was completely set.

Madeleine, as the caring and attentive partner he had always been, hadn't failed to notice the bags under your eyes getting bigger and your tired voice and body language; trying to get you to go to bed earlier, even if you were just going to lie there for hours, didn't seem to work, and always ended up in you insisting that it was all useless and you would've preferred to get something done instead of staring at the ceiling until sunrise.

So on one particularly rainy day of that week, he decided to give everyone a day off from training which meant that both of you would've been free to relax until the next day.

He sighed when you still went to open your wardrobe, trying to decide on an outfit to wear. Your fatigued eyes scanned the clothes for what felt like an eternity to him, until you settled for a cream colored blouse and high waisted pants;

"That's an overly formal outfit for what's supposed to be our day off."

He joked, but you just rolled your eyes.

"Why even take today off? Because of the rain?"

He shrugged, cuddling into your shared bed's warm blanket. You shook your head at him and began changing out of your night clothes.

"Wait- the rain's not the only reason, I…"

He trailed off.

"…You?"

"…I wanted us to be able to relax and spend some time together for once… since I've noticed how tired you are, so don't bother wearing anything fancy, just come back to bed."

You felt your cheeks grow warmer at his words, which somehow managed to remind you of the pains you had been getting since you stopped even trying to fall asleep at a decent hour.

You thought of how nice it would've been to fall asleep and then wake up into your lover's strong arms, well rested and ready to go.

And plus, you hadn't failed to notice how he started staring at you with his puppy dog eyes, typical of when he really wanted or needed something from you.

"…Ugh, I guess I'll try, just for you." You smiled and threw your clothes back into the wardrobe, climbing back into bed right afterwards.

Madeleine beamed, wrapping his arms around the small of your back and bringing you closer to his chest; you could feel him smiling when he kissed the top of your head.

His familiar scent and the sound of the rain softly hitting the windows were definitely helping you relax, and your eyelids started getting heavier.

When Madeleine noticed, he sighed contently and began whispering anything that came to his mind to you; he remembered you telling him that his voice had helped you fall asleep faster in the past.

"Do we even really need to work until late at night…? Maybe we get tired from it easily now because we're getting old."

"Oh shut up… you're old."

You lightly pinched his side, which elicited a laugh from him.

"Don't you dare start a tickle fight right now."

"Hmm…maybe not now…but be prepared."

You both went on jokingly bickering and whispering to each other, until Madeleine could see you clearly struggling to stay awake. Your eyes were barely open and your responses had been reduced to simple hums or nods; so he yawned and cuddled closer to you, if it was even possible.

"We should sleep now, don't you think?"

"Mhm..."

He chuckled and started playing with your hair until you drifted off, which was when he allowed himself to do the same.

--

You heard a sound, not really registering where it was coming from at first, nor who was making it. With your dreams still replaying in your head, you rolled over and opened your eyes, just to find out that the other side of your shared bed was empty.

"Madeleine...?" 

You sat up and looked around in search of your boyfriend, who came running in your room shortly after, holding a tray with food and a glass of water.

"Rise and shine! Did you sleep well? Sorry I left you in bed all alone," he handed you the tray and kissed your forehead, "I wanted to make you something to eat."

"Thank you, you really didn't need to though," you smiled at the way he decorated your plate, "What time is it?"

"It's around two in the afternoon." He climbed back into bed and snuggled on your side.

"And it hasn't stopped raining yet?"

"No, looks like this was meant to be a lazy day."

You enjoyed your meal while listening to Madeleine brag about his cooking skill; though you couldn't blame him, he really was a good cook and you loved it when he made something for you.

For the first time in a while, you noticed you actually felt well rested enough, and it was all thanks to Madeleine, who happily obliged when you asked him to put his head on your lap so you could play with his hair -returning the favor, since he had done that for you earlier- while you read a book you had recently gotten for yourself, but hadn't had the time to read. 

Now you could finally relax with your boyfriend without your eyelids constantly feeling heavy, at least for a day. 

[tootiredmotel]

For @one-more-offbeat-anthem 's 1k follower celebration. The prompt was "sickfics" and I've never written a sickfic in my life so, naturally, I adapted a scene from one of my comfort movies (Fever Pitch, 2005). HUGE congrats on your milestone love!!!

read on ao3 or below (1.5k words)

Castiel should've known better than to listen to his brother regarding food. They have wildly different palates, and why he agreed to accompany Gabriel to lunch at some newly-opened new-age restaurant with barely any reviews, he'll never know. He wasn't thinking.

He could think even less that night, hunched over the toilet with food poisoning while his date knocked on his apartment door.

As soon as he could, Castiel scrambled to his feet and wobbled over to open it, his over-excitable golden retriever on his heels. Dean stood there in a nice leather jacket, all dapper and first-date-ready with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, and it broke Castiel's heart to have to tell him:

"I'm sick."

He was sure it was evident in his eyes, death breath, hair sticking out in all directions from holding his head above the toilet, but he said it anyway.

"I'm really sick, I'm sorry. Come back tomorrow."

Castiel went to close the door, but Dean took a cautious step, bouquet forgotten at his side. "Sick how? You in pain? Do you need anything?"

"I just-" Castiel swallowed forcefully. "I ate at this new restaurant and-"

Just thinking about it made him run to the bathroom again, and he almost didn't make it on time. He barely registered Dean, still at the doorway, say something about Castiel (Cas, he called him) not needing to fake it if he didn't want to go out with him. A few seconds later, the door closed, and Castiel (still puking) thought that was that. He blew it with the handsome schoolteacher, all thanks to his brother's awful culinary taste.

His dog's wasn't so far behind. "Honey, please don't eat that," he reprimanded her, failing to shoo her out of the bathroom.

When he felt he was done, for the time being at least, he tried to stand. He was weak, and for a second he thought he might split his head open on the toilet seat, but then Dean was there, hands on his waist, helping him up. "I got you," said Dean, over and over again, and Castiel believed him.

Dean helped him to his bed where he tried to sit him down, but Castiel must've been weaker than he thought. He flopped backward, and then Dean cautiously lifted his head and placed a pillow underneath.

"Thank you."

"Got some more comfortable clothes? Something to sleep in?"

It's then Cas remembered he was already dressed for the date, slacks and a white button-up (probably grossly stained, he hated to think), and pointed Dean to a drawer.

A second later Dean was gently hoisting him back to his feet, strong hands at his sides, saying "Here, I'll help you change. Promise I won't look. Too much, I won't look too much."

And that actually made Castiel chuckle.

Dean unbuckled and took off his slacks first, replacing them with sweatpants. It was a slow, quiet process, and Dean only spoke up after he'd taken off Castiel's tie and shirt. "Alright, I gotta be honest, I'm looking. Sorry, Cas."

Cas couldn't help another chuckle. Dean was incredibly respectful through it all, careful not to touch any skin unless he had to, which was mostly to keep Cas from falling over. He slipped a t-shirt onto him and laid Cas back down on the bed, this time with his head where it was supposed to be. That's when things started to blur, when his head hit the pillow.

"I don't think there's anything left in there, but just in case..."

Cas, through hazy vision, noticed Dean putting his empty hamper next to the bed. He thanked him, repeatedly. Cas isn't sure how many times he said it, over and over again, thank you.

"Hey, no, you just get some rest," was the last thing Cas heard Dean say before he was out like a light.

Cas suspects he briefly regained consciousness three times during that night.

The first time, he's sure of. He felt a hand on his shoulder, slowly coaxing him awake. "Here," Dean said softly, placing a bottle of Gatorade with a straw in it on the nightstand. "Drink this if you can, alright? Get your strength back." Cas nodded and fell back asleep.

The second time was more questionable, and he only knows it was real because he saw the results of it in the morning. He slowly awoke on his own and saw Dean in his bathroom across from his bedroom door, wearing rubber gloves and scrubbing away at the toilet with a sponge. Cas tried to stop him, tell him no, please, you don't have to do that, really, but couldn't help sleep drag him back down before he could get the words out.

The third time is the most unbelievable. Borderline fantastical. If it was real, he might just have to marry this guy.

Cas thinks he saw Dean brushing Honey's teeth.

Out of everything that happened the night before, that is all he can think about as he steps out of the shower in the morning. He plans to call Dean, send a fruit basket to his school, invite him on the best date of his life to repay him for all he did, and ask him. It's going to sound ridiculous, did you brush my dog's teeth or did I hallucinate that, and Dean will probably turn down his invite. If not for the hell he went through that night, then for Cas being insane.

And then Cas finds Dean asleep on his couch, Honey snuggled into his side. And yeah, he's probably going to marry this guy. This schoolteacher who happened to pick him and his office as a field trip destination for his math kids. This adorable guy that came back later that same day, thanked him for getting through to the kids (which Cas didn't think he had, but he digresses), and then asked him out. This unbelievably sweet guy that Cas initially rejected, god knows why, but then called at his school and left a message for, Saturday at seven, here's my address, because he couldn't get him off his mind. This caring, thoughtful, heaven-sent guy who showed up with flowers, now in a vase on his dining table, found Cas with food poisoning and proceeded to take care of him, his dog, and his apartment the rest of the night.

Before Cas can think about marrying him again (which he was going to, the hopeless romantic), Honey startles and jumps off the couch, waking Dean. Cas doesn't move, just watches as Dean sits up, notices him, then sits up straighter.

"Hey! Hey, how you feeling?" Dean asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand. He put products in his hair for the date, Cas notices, because it's now stiffly and adorably messed up.

"Much better. I won't be entering any pie-eating contests any time soon, though."

"Too bad. That was my next date idea."

Cas smiles, the words next date making his heart flutter in his ribcage. His question pops back into his mind.

"Did you, um..." Don't ask about the dog, he'll think you're crazy. He decides to go with "Did you clean my bathroom last night?" even though he knows the answer.

"Me? No."

Well. Cas thought he knew the answer. Probably dreamed it too. But then who-

"The vomit elves came in," Dean continues. "Real cute. Little hats, miniature vomit bags, adorable. Efficient too."

Cas is stuck somewhere between smiling so wide his cheeks hurt, and shaking his head while rolling his eyes. "Did the elves brush Honey's teeth too?"

"Oh no, that one was me."

And that has Cas laughing in earnest. At the sound of her name, Honey came bouncing back, settling next to Dean on the couch.

"Not letting the little bastards take credit for that one. This sweetheart loves me, and I earned that myself," Dean says, scratching Honey between her ears, enraptured.

"Dean, thank you." At that, Dean looks up. "Thank you. You could've just left, but you chose to stay. And you went above and beyond. Thank you."

Dean looks away and stands, trying to play it off with a wave of his hand. "Nah, it was nothing."

"It was everything," Cas says stepping forward, placing a beckoning hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean finally looks at him with a barely-there smile and a gaze that wants to escape, but he fights for it to stay on Castiel's face. Cas is glad he does, because he needs Dean to see, understand, how grateful he is.

"I uh... I got you these." Dean reaches for a paper bag on the coffee table, and that's when Cas takes his hand off his shoulder. "Some movies."

"Such as?"

"Mostly anime porn," Dean says, and Cas is doing it again, the chuckling/eye roll/head shake combo. "And some stuff I like to watch when I'm not doing great."

"Well, for me that would be documentaries."

"Wait." Dean blinks. "What? What did you say?"

"Documentaries. Preferably environmental, or perhaps historical in nature."

"No way, you're not gonna believe this," Dean says, a bit too much surprise on his face. "This is insane dude, check this out..."

He reaches into the bag, and Cas half believes he's about to pull out a copy of Disney's Earth. He's delighted to be wrong.

"Roadhouse."

Cas laughs again, and the beaming smile on Dean's face is what convinces him. He is definitely going to marry this guy.

[iwadori]

Can you write a pure angst, using 10 and 35 please ( Idc about the characters ) :)

Getting hurt with the haikyu boys part 3 (Iwaizumi)

Part one Part Two Part three

Word count: 2.8K

Genre: pure angst

Authors Note: I am sorry for just how shit it is lol. I had an idea and it kind of got worse as it went along but I hope you like it anyways.

You were pregnant.  

You wanted to cry.  

You stared at the test in front of you. Two lines. Positive. There was no denying it, as much as you wanted it to be negative. You could tell you were pregnant before you even took the test, all the throwing up you were doing, the nausea you felt when certain foods were being cooked at work and the ongoing foot and back pains you felt.

Iwaizumi first approached you at your job, some shitty dinner that only paid you enough so you can make ends meet. You could tell he had money, the way he dressed, his demeanor even the way he talked. ‘What was a man like this doing here?’ you thought.  

Apparently, he’s seen you around for a while, your city was small you’d only really leave this place if you had a fair god mother or died and of course you are clearly alive and don’t have a fairy god mother...until you met him.

He ordered a coffee, didn’t drink it though (probably knowing that your boss spat it in whenever he was in a bad mood or because he just needed an excuse to be around) just waiting for you to finish your break. You sat in a corner booth for ‘privacy,’ not that anybody was even in the place.  

“My names Iwaizumi Hajime” he said keeping a blank facial expression  

“What do you wan-”

“Miss L/N, I think I’ll do the talking here. Okay?” he said with a smirk appearing on his face after seeing your slightly shocked face when he revealed knowing your last name.

“I’ve seen you around for a while now, you’re beautiful you know that right?” he said making your cheeks heat up a bit. “Anyways, I think you’re gorgeous and a man like me needs a pretty girl like you on his arms. By the lack of response to my name, I assume you don’t know who I am...but I guess that works in my favour”

Your face is getting bored by the second not really listening as he rambles on about himself, “I need you to be on my arm every night that I go out to one of my boring business meetings.”  

“Business meetings?” you ask  

“You know, a bunch of ‘business’ people go out and talk ‘business’ together.” he said sarcastically as if you were stupid.

“I know that, I just thought you’d elaborate about it.” You sighed “What do I get out of this?”

“Finally, you’ve gotten to the interesting part, you my dear get money and lots of It” he says finally catching your attention “I’ll pay you 1 million Yen per night, and all your dresses, outfits and expenses will be paid for so you won’t have to worry your pretty little head about finances again” he ‘smiled’ at you.

“What's the catch?” squinting your eyes  

“The catch is just that you have to accompany me to all my events.... and you have to stay in my condo.”

“Wh-”

“Don’t worry dear, it’s a nice place” interrupting you “probably better than any shithole you live in”

“Fine, fine” his words were convincing you “Is there a contract you have for me to sign?” you ask wanting to at least be somewhat ‘protected.’

“No contract, just this verbal agreement. Between me and you right here right now.” he winked “so you’re in agreement of our arrangement?”

“Yes.”

That was your first mistake believing Iwaizumi Hajime.

Sure you could defend yourself now and say ‘I was poor and in need of help’ but you’d know it would just be you in denial talking.  

The first time you attended a meeting with Iwaizumi, you came home from quitting your job since Iwaizumi said ‘you’re on my payroll now.’ You found a beautiful red dress laying on your bed accompanied with shoes and accessories and note saying, ‘I trust you to be able to do your own hair and make up my dear – I.H’

You didn’t have any family, or any friends. Most people that have had even a single encounter with you have deemed you to be ‘Not Likeable’ saying you’re not a people person or just lack any sociability. You were stuck in this town because of the debt your father has left you in before he supposedly ‘passed’ away. Leaving you drowning in all his financial woes, meaning you couldn’t go to university or become a professional *insert dream job here* like you wanted to be.

When you exited your building, you saw Iwaizumi leaning against a flashy car parked outside. “You chariot awaits m’lady” he says with a cheeky grin on his face making you roll your eyes. You got in the car and he started driving, humming along to a random song slightly agitating you.

“So, when are you moving to my place? It’s a part of the agreement.” he said in a sing song voice in the tune of what he was humming.  

Iwaizumi reminded you of JD from heathers, he was nice when he wanted but he did have a screw loose that was triggered when things didn’t go his way. Like a small child who didn’t get the toy he wanted when he had a million other toys.  

Him being the child. You being the toy.

“Our agreement is bullshit, just verbal.” you say mockingly “remember?”

“don’t start with me Y/N I'm not in a pleasant mood today” he says gritting his teeth “and I don’t need you fucking with me tonight.”

He puts his hand on your thigh, a little too harshly making you internally wince. “Okay here’s the rules for the night. You stay on my side for the night, only speak when spoken too, don’t drink too much since no one likes an alcoholic of course.”

“Oh, so all I need to do is sit pretty like a good little girl.” you say sarcastically

“Precisely” he lessens the grip on your thigh making you breathe in relief.  

The event was boring to say the least, you did as Iwaizumi said stood next to him with a fake smile plastered on your face all through the night. You’re sure that people did ask you questions, but you were in your own little world only stepping out of it when Iwaizumi either pinched your arm or gripped your thigh.

The end of the night was ‘eventful’ to say the least, before you entered the car a hand wrapped around your waist and you were pulled into a back alley. “We couldn’t end the night so boring, could we?” it was Iwaizumi, of course it was.

He started peppering your neck with kisses and roaming his hands all over your body. He eventually trailed the kisses from your neck to your lips, leading you both into a full blown make out session. It was fast and you couldn’t really think straight. Iwaizumi was getting a bit too forceful, gripping and kissing harder than he needed to, leaving marks as if to say ‘you’re mine now.’

That was your second mistake. Getting sexual with Iwaizumi Hajime.

He said you had to go back to his house which was basically now yours. You complied, obviously had no other choice since he didn’t offer or ask. He told you too.

Waking up in the Iwaizumi residence was an ‘experience.’ Iwaizumi wanted you awake when he was awake and asleep when he was, never giving you a moment too yourself. You swiftly came to the learn of the reason why he wanted you in his ‘care’ (as he called it anyways) he wanted his eyes on you all the time.

You carried on attending the events bored out of your mind and the nights went the same way. Fancy dress, long car ride, not paying attention, getting fucked in the back alley then sleep in Iwaizumi’s expensive silk sheets.

You didn’t know much about Iwaizumi besides what you could find. In the day time, Iwaizumi spends it cooped up in his office whilst giving you the ‘permission’ to roam around the house. Iwaizumi kept all his important stuff in a small box under a creepy floorboard in his basement original idea I know. All the information in there was just stuff about generic stuff about his childhood. Him being brought up into wealth, how much he weighed as a baby and all the allergies and boring shit that he had.

Iwaizumi Hajime was an enigma.

You and Iwaizumi did get along. Sometimes. You did do things that weren’t strictly fucking and going to business meetings. He took you on what you could only be able to describe as dates, and outings showing you off to all his actual friends. That’s when you learnt the difference of the ‘two’ men, Iwaizumi and Hajime.

Although they were the same person by name, Iwaizumi was rough around the edges and cold at heart not caring about you at all. Hajime, whilst still being rough around the edges, basically made you out to be his girlfriend giving you the love and care you needed. You really liked the times when you were with Hajime.

That was your third mistake, falling in love with Iwaizumi Hajime.

As things progressed, your quality of life seemed to dwindle (not that it was great in the first place.) Iwaizumi was barely in the house, claiming that for these particular ‘business meetings’ he didn’t need you.

On one night, a simple phone call definitely changed your whole dynamic.

“Yes babe, I’m coming over tomorrow I can’t wait to see you and the girls again.” he said to the other person on the phone.

“Why do you question my love for you, of course I love you.” he said again

“I love you, the girls even the dumb dog that Haru forced me to get for her 8th birthday I love. You guys are my family. My lovely wife and out girls”

Your stomach churned, you backed out of the hallway that you were in. He had a family, of course he had a family. You went into the guest room, where you kept all your things, you couldn’t do this anymore. Although you pretty much lost all your morals when you formed this whole agreement but you refuse to sleep with a married man with kids. You couldn’t. Being the reason why a family might break up is something you wouldn’t ever do.

Iwaizumi heard all your commotion and entered the guess “Woah darling who’s moving out?” he asked jokingly  

“Hmm probably your wife and kids, after they realise their husband is a CHEATER!” you spat

“Woah, woah Y/N” he said getting closer to you “You don’t know what the fuck you’re on about”

“I think I know pretty well; you’ve always been a pompous ass Iwaizumi; it was my bad for thinking that you weren’t married throughout all of this.” You finished packing up as much close as you possible can and headed out the room.

“You need to watch your mouth Y/N” he says aggressively  

“Or what Iwaizumi, or should I say Hajime” you shout “Or is that only reserved for your WIFE!”

This seem to really tick him off, “You don’t know anything Y/N, you really think I could love a dirty slut like you? Huh? Well, I didn’t know that you were important enough to be able to know the details of my personal life.”

“I'm not a slut” you mumbled. Which was completely true, Iwaizumi didn’t notice that the first time you slept together was the first time that you slept with anyone.

“repeat that again for me y/n?” he said mockingly

“IM NOT A SLUT!” you shout in his face

“You are what I say you are darling”

“Fuck you.” You try and push past him hard, to get out the house but you’re no match against his anger and brute strength. So, when he slams you against the wall, he banging your head. Leaving you concussed and bleeding. Before you completely pass out all you hear is a repetition of Iwaizumi Hajime murmuring “I'm sorry, I’m sorry” whilst wrapping his arms around your comatose body.

You woke up, thinking that was all a dream but the ache in the back of your head proved otherwise.  

“Y/N, darling your awake!” he said making you flinch

You moved away from him when he sat on your bed looking at you with ‘love’ and ‘care’ in his eyes. He goes to stroke your cheek whispering “you’re so be-”

“Fuck off” you say. That bang to the head was a wakeup call literally reminding you of all the hot and cold moments you had with Iwaizumi that you submerged into your head for the sole reason of ‘wanting to be happy.’ But you weren’t happy. Deep down you knew that.

“But y/n, darling I love you.” he said and you closed your eyes shut wanting to tune him out “I love you Y/N.”

“You don’t" you replied back harshly with your eyes still shut tightly

“But I do Y/N, I love you” he repeated the ‘I love you’s’ over and over making you want to scream out in frustation.

“Shut up!” you yelled “You don’t love me, stop saying that” your head throbbing with every word “Just stop. Make it stop! Kill me if you have to! Just make it stop” you say thumping at Iwaizumi’s chest becoming a hysterical crying mess. You weren’t talking about the physical paint he caused you (even though that hurt ALOT) you were talking about the constant heartache it was just being around him.

He didn’t know what to do. So, he just put his arms round you again and you yelled your frustrations about him to him into his chest.

You woke up into a new place, not your old one or Iwaizumis just something brand new.  

With a note on your bed side table saying:

‘I love you and I’m sorry’

Making you tear it up and toss it out.

You had no further contact with Iwaizumi, you figured that the new house you lived in was already paid for, but you didn’t want Iwaizumi to show up one day saying that you owed him money so you decided to get a job. A small one, that didn’t require any strenuous Labour or heavy shift times.

It was a few weeks after Iwaizumi left you and you felt sick and heartbroken. After finishing your shift at your job you felt hot headed and extremely ill making you run to your toilet to spill out your guts.

Which lead you to your predicament now.

Pregnant.

You were pregnant.  

You wanted to cry.  

You stared at the test in front of you. Two lines. Positive. There was no denying it, as much as you wanted it to be negative. You could tell you were pregnant befonhre you even took the test, all the throwing up you were doing, the nausea you felt when certain foods were being cooked at work and the ongoing foot and back pains you felt.

You didn’t know what to do. There was only thing you could do, but you certainly didn’t want that. ‘Call him’ the voice in your head urged. ‘That would be the best option right?’ you thought ‘I mean he did love you afterall...’

It took a whole day of pacing around and wondering on what you should do. But you knew that leaving the situation longer would only make it worse. So you kept his business card on you when he gave it to you since that was the only phone number you had. He was all you actually had.

You called and the phone rang 4 times, your heart beating faster and faster as it rang.

“He-”

“Hello this is Sakura Iwaizumi speaking” a feminine voice said “Who is calling?” you hear someone say in the background. ‘Iwaizumi’ you thought, your face smiling. You realised you haven’t responded so you rushed out  

“I’m Y/N L/N, I need to speak with Iwaizumi.”

“Haji dear, there's a girl on the phone for you... someone of the name called Y/N L/N”

You heard muffles in the background and Iwaizumi saying “Just hang up the phone she’s not worth it.” Your heart stung ‘She’s not worth it.’ Did he really mean that? As much as you claim to hate him, you didn’t really. As you’ve said before you always liked his loving and caring side over his cold hearted one.

You put the phone down and just cried, wailing your heart out for him. Why? You don’t really know to be honest. This was all a dumb agreement, he used you because he was bored and he probably already knew you were pregnant from when he gave you that concussion. But ‘he doesn’t want you’ you reminded yourself because ‘I’m not worth it.’

AUTHORS NOTE: once again, i’m sorry lol. But im most likely going to do a part two of my ‘long shot’ series with Akaashi or a character of your choosing. 

[hyunverse]

BUNGA (FLOWER) | FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

gender neutral.

summary; you’re megumi’s dream person.

note; i wrote this bcs my birth name is actually a type of flower ugh the self indulgence also i like butterflies. also inspired by a song called bunga by masdo. i recommend listening to the song while reading. bunga means flower in malay!! also pls open the gif for better quality.

YOU REMIND MEGUMI OF A FLOWER. white orchids; they symbolize purity. and that’s exactly what you are to him.

fushiguro megumi remembers this one day when he and tsumiki had went to a flower garden together. he didn’t know why tsumiki suddenly felt like visiting a garden, but he followed anyway. he observed as his sister looked at the flowers around them, a smile never leaving her face and her eyes were practically sparkling. it felt nice to see his sister actually enjoy herself, especially after their parents got up and abandoned them, leaving tsumiki with all the house chores.

“look at all these flowers!”, tsumiki caressed the petals with her fingers, thumb gently gliding over the flowers, “they look so nice, don’t you think so megumi?”

megumi didn’t reply, he opted to stand beside his older sister. tsumiki explained the symbolisms of the flowers she knew of. the raven head looked stoic, as if he wasn’t listening to any of her words but the truth is, he was. he found the symbolism behind the white orchids particularly interesting. it suited the orchids’ physical appearance. white and innocence just made sense.

as the siblings chatted (though it technically was one sided on tsumiki’s part), a cat walked towards the duo. the ball of orange fur purred and nudged it’s head on tsumiki’s legs, immediately getting the teenage girl’s attention. she kneeled down, her previous smile growing wider.

petting the cat, she looked up at her younger brother, “aren’t cats so adorable?”.

“yeah,” megumi uttered. a lie. he wasn’t a big fan of cats, he found them annoying. dogs are better, that’s what he believed in but he didn’t have the heart to say that to his sister. not when she looks the happiest she had been in a while.

“and the weather’s really nice today!”, she added, eyes glancing up at the sky. the sun was glaring right into her eyes, so her pupils shrunk. she didn’t mind however, she had always loved sunny days. the sunlight shone right above their heads, and megumi didn’t like it. he could feel drops of sweat trickling down his back, causing his shirt to cling onto his skin. megumi much prefers when it’s cloudy, shades of grey in the sky, the perfect weather for staying at home and reading books.

even so, he just nodded, “mhm.”

shortly the sun started to set, spreading orange hues throughout the sky. flocks of birds returned to their nests, and so the fushiguro siblings made their way back to their abode. on their way tsumiki stole glances at her brother, letting out a dry chuckle everytime she notices the lack of expression on his face.

“you should smile more you know, megumi”, she ruffled his erratic hair, “you won’t get much friends if you keep on frowning like that”, she teased.

he grumbled, “i don’t care if i don’t have friends.”

megumi thought it was ridiculous. why would it matter, anyway? he’s fine being alone. people are bothersome; they’re too loud and they stress him out. especially the stupid punks in school who thinks they could do whatever they want. megumi simply shrugged and pushed his sister’s words out of his mind. scratch smiling and being likeable.

yet here he is, smiling at you. over no particular reason too.

currently, he’s walking along a beach with you. you; dressed up in a white sundress, a pair of sandals in your right hand. the sand burns under fushiguro’s feet but he couldn’t feel it over the fast thumping of his heart, he couldn’t feel the heat when his whole skin is tingling. he trolls behind you, walking over the footsteps you made. your sundress flows to the rhythm of your walk, flying slightly up when the wind blows your way, exposing the plush skin of your thighs. fushiguro looks away from your figure, his fair complexion tinted with blush.

you’re his best friend, he’s not supposed to look at you like that.

“it’s so nice here, megumi!”, you call out to him as you stand at the edge of the sea. waves crash, they trickle up to your toes. with a smile you hold up your hand for megumi to hold.

bashfully, megumi walks up to you and takes your hand in his. he’s reluctant, for he dislikes his hands. they’re cold and filled with callouses. so when you grip his hand as though you didn’t intend to let go, when your thumb rubs against his, he feels less insecure of his hands. the sensation of your hand in his is hot, it burns; however it feels nice.

megumi fushiguro hates warmth, but if it’s your warmth, he’d enjoy burning in heat.

the sand by the sea doesn’t feel hot on your feet. the waves get bigger and bigger; till they reach up to your ankles. you giggle because it tickled, the sound of your laughs reaching megumi’s ears. he turns to his side to see you crouching down, collecting the water in your hands.

that’s when megumi concluded, your whole existence screams purity.

a week later megumi meets you again. sometime at 11pm, by an oak tree—your usual meeting spot. the oak tree is large, it’s impossible to miss it. you stand under the oak tree, allowing dried leaves to fall onto your head, getting stuck in your hair. you know megumi would get all the leaves out of your hair. he does it everytime. he’ll pick out all the leaves out of your hair while lecturing you, though his words enter one ear then out from another. no matter how many times he says “i can’t do this all the time”, even he himself knows he would.

from afar megumi watches his best friend run around the flower field, chasing butterflies. your hair gets swept away by the wind as your hands stretch up to the sky, desperately trying to get a butterfly to land on your hand. you’re wearing a jumpsuit, the white color of the material truly brought out your skin tone. your complexion is glistening, and it makes megumi’s heart throb.

“they’re scared of you, y/n,” he finally says, putting both your hands down. the butterflies fly away from your sight, and you pout.

“but they’re so pretty,” you sigh, watching as the butterflies choose to fly anywhere but on your fingers. and then one lands on top of megumi’s shoulder.

your eyes widen, holding the sides of megumi’s figure to make him stay still. megumi could see sparks in your eyes when you admire the blue butterfly. soft is the expression you wear on your face. he likes it on you. that cute expression of yours makes megumi fall five times harder for you even when he knows he shouldn’t.

“you’re like a flower ‘gumi. it likes you.”

ridiculous, he thinks. you’re the flower. it’s obvious by the way your body moves under the moonlight, and how insanely beautiful you are.

fushiguro megumi doesn’t say anything in return, as always. he rarely does. if possible, he wants to avoid you from finding out just how in love he is with you.

after that day, you never show up under the oak tree, a few minutes distance from jujutsu high. he’ll wait for hours long only to be disappointed.

--at least not until his birthday comes, about a few months later. his face turns pale once he spotted you. you wait by the jujutsu high gate with a wide smile on his face, as if you didn’t ghost him for three months.

"glad to see you doing okay," the apple of your cheeks seem more prominent when you smile, megumi feels an urge to kiss them.

"i haven't seen you in so long," megumi mumbles, "happy to see you here today."

you grin and hold up your hand for him to take per usual, and didn’t mutter anymore words until the two of you reach a café in the outskirts of tokyo.

“nice café,” the raven comments , glancing at you. you’re wearing a puffy sleeved white blouse now—honestly, do you only own white clothes?

“found it on instagram”, you mutter, “i thought you’d like it. happy birthday, megumi.”

megumi smiles for the first time today. as a jazz song plays, he eats the birthday cake you purchased for him quietly. the cake tastes delicious (to be fair, anything you buy him is perfect) because it’s not too sweet. the fact that you remember his preference makes his smile grow a little wider.

you hum to the song and rest your head on his shoulder. it seems like the two of you are the only ones in the café—a much needed privacy. you’re usually touchy with him, and he prefers affection to be private. typically they make megumi blush, and he doesn’t want people to witness him all flustered.

“did you miss me, megumi?”, he replies to your question by nodding and placing his hand on top of yours.

serenity is this feeling, megumi thinks.

at the corner of the café stands an antique grandfather clock. it’s sounds are so loud, they resonate the whole environment. megumi suddenly becomes hyper aware of the sound, there’s a pounding in his head. the sound becomes louder and louder, to the point where megumi couldn’t feel your skin under his. he shuts his eyes close, an impossibly bright light glares his eyes.

“fushiguroooo!”, an annoying voice yells. itadori’s voice, megumi is certain.

the pounding in his head slows down. his sapphire eyes flutter open, and he realizes the light he saw was sunlight rays peeking through his blinds.

“seriously fushiguro, we’ve been calling you for an hour now. hurry up, we’re going out to eat in five. to celebrate your birthday”, megumi looks up to see nobara standing behind itadori. 

they’re both leaning against his door frame. itadori is dressed in a yellow hoodie, while nobara rocks a coat over a turtleneck. the female sorcerer holds her toy hammer tight in her grip, her eyes boring through megumi’s figure. by her posture, megumi guesses she was about to hit him with the squeaky hammer if only he didn’t wake up sooner.

fucking menaces, they could’ve left him to sleep for a little more. he hasn’t seen you in so long, he wanted to sleep in to spend time with you.

finally rubbing his eyes awake, the boy looks at the vase of orchids sitting on his nightstand. he sighs before standing up.

megumi will find you someday, he promises. if you’re a flower, he’ll gladly be the butterfly.

✉ taglist: @aliteama @dearsukuna @cybergoo @hanniemilk @ariasann @soulasdarkascoffee @okusetomura @eidotheiapriv @maat-the-prescriptive @etoilezone @elipres @scarednekozz @iridescentkitsune @crapimahuman @nectar0sw33t @hq149 @bluedelphinium @bokutos-babyowl @behan @tdntu0 @sunaluvs @guardianangelswings @fairywriter-oracle @inu-makki @erinisbadger

tagging; @candleohappiness , @haru-senji <333