#fire extinguisher cabinet making video

[steelboxmaker]

3 Sides Fire Extinguisher Cabinet Sheet Metal How To Make

There are many kinds of fire safety cabinet, 3 sides, 4 sides sheet metal panel. But these all can be made in one roll forming machine production line.

[jumpy-buggy-33]

🌸💫⭐️🪷LMK HEADCANONS🪷⭐️💫🌸

(Had to freaking redo this bc tumblr didn’t save my draft >:[[ )

Redson(Hong Hai’er) Headcanons!!

-loves cats with every fiber of his being

-HATE HATE HATE HATE HATES water!!

-hair turns brown when it’s wet, like fire extinguishing sorta

-touch starved asf bull demon thing(bro has got 320+ years on his ass of absolutely no affectionate touch)

-has a small appetite and the highest alcohol tolerance you will ever see(got both traits from his mother)(he doesn’t drink much though of course)

-loves being pet, please pet him on your way out😼

-loves mechanics/engineering

-if you start even mentioning mechanics/engineering, he will beam at you with stars in his eyes and WILL ramble in DETAIL if you ask them a question about it or how something worked(things like that)

-clingy asf if you even touch them a little

-loves his hair, just hates how bothersome it is sometimes

-has soft/fluffy tail fur/fur/hair(depending on how one would draw him or anything like that)

-will eat the spiciest things on earth like it’s just a pack of mints or tic tacs

-gossips with his mother

-will DEFINITELY ramble if you ask him about an invention he’s working on/making

-acts like he doesn’t care much for people but secretly cares so much that they kinda forget to care about themself a lot

-stays up to atrocious times and STILL managed to wake up every day at 5:25

-has HORRIBLE vision bc the Samadhi Fire damaged their vision badly when they were a child/temporarily blinded them

-doesn’t like having nothing to do+constantly loads themself with things to do, errands to run

-HORRIBLE at parties/formal events

-has a habit of biting his lip when in deep thought or focus

-often tries to handle things themself+doesn’t like asking for help

-flusters easily

MK(Qi Xiaotian) Headcanons!!

-sleeps with his monkey plush at night

-doodles on himself when he’s bored at work

-unmedicated ADHD

-SSSSUUUUUUUUUPEEEERRRRR affectionate(will cuddle anyone who needs it, you need one?)

-LOVESSS pineapple!!

-likes listening to music when he’s drawing or working

-artist+has 17 sketchbooks in a box besides his desk

-always loses arcade games when put up against Mei

-surprisingly a AMAZING cook, sucks at baking tho

-loves playing with people’s hair(sorta like monkey grooming?)

-has binged Monkey Cop 16 times and will never stop

-acts like a little kid whenever he sees people kissing on tv

-has a tendency to try and fix all his problems himself because he doesn’t want to ‘burden’ his friends

-BROKE ASF

-keeps instant noodles in a secret cabinet in his apartment, hiding them from Pigsy

Mei(Long Xiaojiao) Headcanons!!

-knows some mechanics, but often asks Redson for help

-absolute master at video games

-definitely ate bugs as a kid and got sick because of it

-wants a lizard or something but her parents will NOT let her

-often likes to gossip with MK

-super chill about cuddles

-loves eating dragonfruit(though..sometimes she eats it with the skin..)

-has a bunch of trophies in a box from all the races she’s won

-loves pranks

-also sleeps with her dragon plushie

-will make fun of MK or Redson for being fruity even though she’s pretty fruity😼

-steals Redson’s glasses a lot just to entertain herself when he rams into poles or falls trying to get her(or even yelling at walls)

-likes doing Redson’s hair(but he rarely lets her do it)

-knows a whole bunch about bugs(origins, scientific names, etc)

Nezha Headcanons!!

-secretly loves cats

-will make flower crowns for someone if asked

-has known Redson since he was a baby and often talks with him(they gossip together, complain about people, all that)

-sarcasm is definitely his second language

-amazing at making origami

(There’s not a lot for my boy😭🪷)

Monkey King(Sun Wukong) Headcanons!!

-has a habit of talking to himself both from the years he was alone and trapped in the furnace((I can’t remember exactly what happened about the furnace so please bear with me🥲))

-snores loud asf and often scares the monkeys away

-secretly likes singing and sings well, but terrified of doing it in front of people

-often thinks about things he regrets

-a lil touch starved :,)

-smells like peaches

Macaque(Li’uer Mihou) Headcanons!!

-touch starved monkey dude 😢

-flinches whenever someone gets close of his right

-the monkeys on FFM(Flower Fruit Mountain) often like sleeping with him, basically drowning him in monkey

-often summons Rumble or Savage(or both) to talk to(though, they’re not very good company)

-loves mangos

-likes just sitting at a quiet pond at night, its quiet and peaceful and it doesn’t hurt his ears

-his fur is always so soft because the monkeys groom it a lot

Yeah that’s kinda it….FOR NOW-

Anyway have art😼

[coffeetablettowers]

Title: Dinner Time Rated: G Characters: Noodle, 2d, Murdoc, Russel Summary: Noodle cooks dinner for everybody Note: takes place in phase 2

Noodle looked up from her Gameboy and saw that it was 5:13 pm. She turned her video game off, set it on her bed, and stepped out of the room. First thing she did was check on Russel. She saw him this morning and he had puffy, red eyes as he made himself a bowl of cereal and then slowly retreated back to his room. She dared not knock on the door for he could be asleep so instead she grabbed the door handle, slowly turned it, and creaked the door open a crack. The man was sitting on his bed, back towards her. He was looking down. She couldn’t tell, but she knew that he would not be making dinner tonight.

She walked over to 2d’s room. She knew that he never cooked. The few times that he did the fire alarm always went off and it ended up with Russel rushing in to extinguish the source of the smoke and Murdoc yelling over the alarm at 2d, who just withdrew in on himself as he took the words in. As she approached the door she could hear a woman screaming, pleading not to be killed, but when she knocked on the door the sound quickly stopped and a few seconds later the door opened.

“Oh hello, Noodle. Wanna watch this movie with me?” “No, it’s about dinner time. What do you want to eat?” “It’s been that long? I guess I could go for a BLT with an egg, but I’ll take whatever you’re making.”

Noodle nodded and started walking down the hall. 2d watched her back before retreating back to his room, the sounds of the movie becoming apparent again. As Noodle walked past the living room she glanced at Murdoc, who was using the restroom with the door open. He wobbled as he stood in front of the toilet in just his cape and underwear. She scrunched up her nose and walked faster. As she made it to the kitchen she took in her surroundings. For the most part there was enough counter space to make a sandwich. She looked in the cabinet and saw that there were just enough plates for each of them. She looked in the fridge and saw that it was stocked with groceries. She always braced herself for them to not have groceries and for it to be filled with alcoholic drinks one day, but either Murdoc had his own fridge in 2d’s room or he hid them around the house. Either way they always had food and she was thankful for that.

She grabbed the bacon, tomatoes, the bag of shredded lettuce, and eggs out of the fridge. Carefully balancing them she placed them on the counter. Next she looked for a frying pan. It was always hard to locate pots and pans as whoever did dishes never put them up. She couldn’t exclude herself as she always left them on the drying rack, but at least they could be found while there. She was soon about to give up and make scrambled eggs in the microwave when she finally located a frying pan in the oven. She inspected it to make sure it was clean enough to her standards and when it passed she smiled and placed it on the stove. She turned the burner on, listening to the clicking it made just as the spark of flame circled underneath the burner. As she let the pan get hot she went and grabbed bread and spatula. As she returned back to the stove station she set the thing aside, grabbed an egg out of the carton, and cracked it into the pan. The whites immediately turned went from clear to white. This was perfect. She let it cook for a few minutes before grabbing the spatula and carefully flipping the egg. As the egg was flipped and she saw that the yolk stayed intact she let out the breath she was holding. She always worried that she would break the yolk. As the egg cooked she got the plates and placed two slices of bread on each plate. She went looking for another frying pan and this time found it underneath the sink. She squinted her eyes at it as she thought whether it was safe to use or not, but shrugged her shoulders and placed it on another burner and turned that one on as well. As the pan heated she grabbed two slices of bacon and placed them in the other pan. She heard the low sizzling and nodded to herself. At this point she deemed the egg was ready so she grabbed her spatula and slid it under the egg, slowly she walked to where the plates were, the egg balancing ever so carefully on the spatula, and placed it on a piece of bread. The cooking of the eggs was a rinse and repeat cycle.

As Noodle finished the third egg she gasped and looked over at the bacon. They had shriveled up, but she noticed they were not black so she deemed them worthy to be placed in a sandwich. Using her ever trusty spatula she took them out and slid a piece on top of each egg, then she placed two more slices of bacon in the pan. She was focused on making the last egg when Murdoc stumbled into the kitchen, head raised up to sniff the air.

“That smells delicious. Is it breakfast?”

Noodle flipped the egg and then looked at Murdoc. She stared at him as she tried to process his slurred speech. She sighed in frustration, not at him, but at herself for being unable to understand what he was saying. Murdoc’s nostrils flared as he pointed a finger at her.

“Oi! Don’t get huffy with me. I just asked a question.”

Noodle shook her head and turned back to the stove. She quickly removed the egg, placed it on the last eggless plate, and then moved onto removing the cooked bacon pieces. Murdoc glared at her before leaving to sit at the table. Noodle turned the burners off, moved to stand in front of the counter, and gripped the edge of it. She was breathing fast and her eyes were burning. She tightly closed her eyes and thought of happier times. 2d taking her to the park, riding on top of Russel’s shoulders, them all in the car driving in the Geep aimlessly, them taking a family photo in Halloween costumes. As she thought of these moments her breathing started to slow and soon she took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and let go of the counter. She grabbed the tomato, opened a drawer, and took out a knife. She sliced four round, juicy slices and placed one on each sandwich, and finally she grabbed the shredded lettuce, placed a bit on top of the tomato, and put the other slice of bread on top.

Balancing all the plates on her arms she slowly walked to the table and placed the plates down. Murdoc perked up, grabbed a plate, and started inhaling his food as Noodle went down the hallway. She knocked on 2d’s door again. As he opened his door he sniffed the air.

“Oh you cooked bacon? Does that mean dinner’s ready?” “Yes. Plate’s on the table.” “Thank you, Noodle.”

2d patted Noodle’s head before walked down the hall. Noodle then went to Russel’s door and knocked. She thought she heard sobbing, but as soon as she knocked it stopped. She waited for a bit and was about to leave when Russel opened the door. His eyes were red and tear stains marked his cheeks, but he wearily smiled.

“Hey, lil’ sis. What’s up?” “Dinner’s ready. It’s on the table.” “Now that you mention it I don’t remember the last time I ate. Thanks, Noodle.”

Russel and Noodle walked down the hall together. As they made it to the table 2d waved at them, but Murdoc was nowhere to be seen. Russel and Noodle sat down and then they each began to eat. There wasn’t much talking besides 2d saying, “This is really good.” As they finished eating Noodle got up and reached for a plate, but 2d grabbed it instead.

“You cooked for us. The least I can do is clean up.”

Noodle smiled, walked back to her room, and sprawled out on her bed. With everybody fed she could go back to her own little bubble that had no care in the world. She picked up her Gameboy and started playing it again.

[rvtravellife]

21 RV Accessories You Need for a New Travel Trailer/Camper

by Jasmin Banwait Having the right RV accessories can improve your camping experience in many ways, from providing extra protection from the elements to improving convenience..... RV accessories are a great way to make any camper or travel trailer feel like home. From the basics such as safety gear and storage solutions to technological advances such as wifi routers and cellular signal boosters; there is an accessory for every need! Having the right RV accessories can improve your camping experience in many ways, from providing extra protection from the elements to improving convenience. With various options available, it’s possible to customise your RV set-up however you see fit. Whether you’re looking for outdoor adventure accessories or furnishings and fabrics that will help spruce up your interior design, having the right RV accessories ensures your camping trip will be enjoyable and stress-free! Essentials for Travel Trailer or Camper Safety Gear: When travelling in an RV, it is important to ensure that you and your passengers are protected. Safety gear such as a fire extinguisher, smoke detector, carbon monoxide detector, first aid kit and emergency lighting should all be included in your travel trailer or camper set-up. It is also wise to invest in additional security measures such as surveillance cameras or motion sensor lights if camping in a less populated area. Make sure to research additional emergency kit needs according to your trip! Storage Solutions: Keeping items organized while on the road can make travel much easier. Investing in RV storage solutions will help keep everything from clothing and food supplies to outdoor toys and equipment tidy during transit. There are many types of storage options available for campers including hanging organizers for closets, under-bed drawers, and overhead compartments with lids or shelves built into cabinets and walls – all designed to maximize space efficiency without sacrificing convenience or style! Cover or Awning: An RV cover provides protection from the sun’s rays and keeps temperatures inside cooler when parked at campsites. Alternatively, an awning can be attached over the entrance door of the camper allowing you to enjoy outdoor living even when not moving around too much. Both covers and awnings come with adjustable poles so they can fit any size vehicle providing extra shade wherever needed! Towing Components: If you intend on trailing your travel trailer behind another vehicle it is essential that you have suitable tow bars fitted by a professional installer prior to setting off on any trips. Tow bars will ensure that your rig stays secure while being trailed making sure no accidents occur due to faulty components along the way! Other important tow components include safety chains which link both vehicles together should something happen between them while driving; hitch balls which attach to the back of each car; breakaway cables which activate brakes if separated unexpectedly; light connectors & adapters for signal indicators etc.. Technology & Electronics Technology and Electronics are a great way to enhance your RV experience. Cellular signal boosters will help ensure you stay connected while on the road, allowing you to make calls and access data wherever you go. Indoor and outdoor speakers will provide high-quality audio while travelling or parked in campgrounds. Backup cameras and monitors can help prevent accidents by giving an unobstructed view of what is behind the vehicle when reversing. Finally, wifi routers are essential for getting online quickly; providing fast connection speeds so that everyone onboard can stream videos, play games or browse the web with ease! Kitchen and Appliance Accessories Kitchen and appliance accessories can help make life easier while on the road. A fire extinguisher and first aid kit are essential for any RV, as they provide extra protection in case of an emergency. An RV air conditioner is also a good option to keep cool during those hot summer months. Having access to ovens and stoves will allow you to prepare delicious meals with ease – no matter where your travels take you. Investing in an RV dishwasher makes clean-up a breeze for large families or groups! And finally, having an RV refrigerator ensures that all perishables stay fresh throughout your journey; making it easy to store leftovers or drinks for later consumption! Outdoor Adventure Accessories Outdoor adventure accessories are essential for making the most of your camping trips. An outdoor rug is a great way to create an inviting area for gathering and socializing with friends and family, while also providing extra cushioning for your feet. Outdoor chairs offer comfortable seating near campfires or around picnic tables, allowing you to relax and enjoy the outdoors without having to sit on hard ground. Bikes and buggies provide convenient transportation around campsites; perfect for exploring nature trails or simply getting from one spot to another quickly! And don’t forget about cookware - having lightweight pots & pans make cooking over open flames easy without adding too much bulk to luggage space..... Read More... Read the full article

[webguys-blog]

A Comprehensive Home Safety Checklist for Family Caregivers

As a family caregiver, ensuring the safety and well-being of your loved one is a top priority. One crucial aspect of caregiving is creating a safe home environment that minimizes the risk of accidents and promotes independence. In this blog post, we will provide a comprehensive home safety checklist for family caregivers to help you identify potential hazards and make necessary modifications to ensure a safe living space for your loved one. 

1. General Safety Measures: 

Install smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors on every level of the home. 

Keep emergency contact numbers readily accessible. 

Ensure that all areas of the home are well-lit, especially hallways, staircases, and entrances. 

Remove or secure loose rugs and ensure that all flooring is in good condition to prevent tripping hazards. 

Install handrails on staircases and grab bars in bathrooms to assist with balance and stability. 

2. Bathroom Safety:

Install non-slip mats or adhesive strips in the bathtub or shower.

Use a shower chair or bench for added stability during bathing. - Install grab bars near the toilet and in the shower or bathtub. 

Ensure that the water heater is set to a safe temperature to prevent scalding. 

3. Kitchen Safety: 

Keep frequently used items within easy reach to avoid the need for reaching or climbing. 

Install safety knobs on the stove to prevent accidental burns or fires. 

Use non-slip mats or rugs in front of the sink and stove.

Store sharp objects, cleaning products, and medications in locked cabinets or out of reach. 

4. Bedroom Safety: 

Ensure that the bed is at an appropriate height for easy entry and exit. 

Use a nightlight or install motion sensor lights to prevent falls during nighttime trips to the bathroom. 

Keep a phone or emergency call button within reach of the bed. 

5. Fall Prevention: 

Remove clutter and ensure clear pathways throughout the home. 

Secure loose cords and wires to prevent tripping hazards. - Install handrails on both sides of staircases. 

Use non-slip mats or rugs in high-traffic areas. 

Consider using a medical alert system or wearable device for emergencies. 

6. Medication Safety:

Organize medications in a pill organizer or use a medication management system. 

Keep medications in a secure location, out of reach of children and pets. 

Dispose of expired or unused medications properly. 

7. Fire Safety: 

Install fire extinguishers in the kitchen and other high-risk areas. 

Develop and practice a fire escape plan with your loved one. 

Ensure that all smoke detectors are in working order and replace batteries regularly. 

8. Home Security: 

Install secure locks on all doors and windows. 

Consider installing a home security system or video surveillance for added peace of mind. 

In conclusion, creating a safe home environment is essential for the well-being and independence of your loved one. By following this comprehensive home safety checklist, you can identify potential hazards and make necessary modifications to ensure a secure living space. Regularly reassessing and updating the safety measures in your home will help provide peace of mind for both you and your loved one. Remember, every home is unique, so adapt the checklist to suit your specific needs and consult with professionals if necessary.

Become a Caregiver in Indiana

[hongkongaton-imagines]

so hey guys! i really wanted to make this a post so here it is. i also included cyborg noodle (but i usually call her ramen) because i love her and i think we should appreciate her more :D)

- Gorillaz + Youtube -

Murdoc

he watches a little bit of everything

he probably watches tutorial videos on how to do random shit and still ends up not doing whatever it is

he tried to follow a nerdy nummies baking video but the dessert ended up becoming charcoal by the end

he might watch a gaming video or two

he prefers to watch game grumps and supermega since they make a lot of dirty jokes

he went to a game grumps live show secretly and still has merch to this day

but he hides it in a secret cabinet in his closet

he laughs out loud when watching youtube videos no matter whos around or where he is

Noodle

definitely used to watch liza koshy at one point

watches a lot of jenna marbles videos and cried when she found out jenna was quitting

gets involved with a lot of youtuber drama (she rants about all the problematic ones on her tumblr blog)

has made a ton of shane dawson related jokes that no one understands (mostly roasting him)

she's definitely apart of greg (danny gonzalez's fans)

listens to danny gonzalez songs on repeat and plays them throughout the house

will beat you up if you talk badly about drew, kurtis or danny

2D

gaming videos all the way

watches the big three (markiplier, jacksepticeye and pewdiepie)

also watches crankgameplays cause he "would do anything for ethan" (his own words)

follows his favorite youtubers on every social media platform

has a lot of merch but its mostly just shirts and some plushies

he used to have a small crush on pokimane and callmecarson respectively

is subscribed to over 200 people but cant remember why he subscribed to most of them

Russel

bless this man's soul

he watches cat videos and cooking tutorials

as the only person who can cook something without causing a mess, he needs to know multiple different recipes

he watches binging with babish religiously

god, i love russel

he tried to help murdoc make whatever nerdy nummies dessert he was trying to make but was immediately shut down

"alright, fine. if you want to burn down the kitchen, doc, im not gonna stop you. just don't ask me to find the fire extinguisher when you do."

usually watches videos with 2D and noodle at the same time (usually roblox videos because "what the heck is a roblox???")

is late on a lot of internet trends since he's so focused on real life (he thought gangnam style was still a thing people did

Cyborg Noodle aka "Ramen"

her favorite channel is game theory but she watches all the channels made by matpat

always makes it just in time for gtlives

has met matpat and stephanie once and cries happy tears (or happy oil tears??) whenever she thinks about it

bought a ton of game theory merch and wears it everywhere

knows all of the fnaf lore like she knows the back of her hand

she also follows a lot of args and watches night mind and channels like his

her favorite args have to be petscop and pizza time pizza

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Republic of Lies: the rise of conspiratorial thinking and the actual conspiracies that fuel it

Anna Merlan has made a distinguished journalistic career out of covering conspiracy theories, particularly far-right ones, for Gizmodo Media; her book-length account of conspiratorial thinking, Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power, is a superb tour not just through the conspiracies that have taken hold in American public discourse, but also in the real, often traumatic conspiracies that give these false beliefs a terrible ring of plausibility.

Merlan's thesis is that the "contagion" model of conspiracy thinking -- the idea that some people are just so danged convincing that merely hearing them will make you a conspiracy theorist -- is at best incomplete, and at worst, totally overblown.

After all, the arguments for the flat Earth, or anti-vax, or eugenics, have not gotten better since they emerged decades or even centuries ago, and to an objective ear, the people who advocate these ideas sound ridiculous.

Some people argue that the rise in conspiratorial thinking is about contagion, but that patient zero is the internet, where Big Tech's almighty algorithms can use machine learning to systematically explore its targets' cognitive defenses, finding and exploiting their weak spots and winning converts, with fully automated proselytizing tools that allow even the most fumbletongued conspiracy peddler to amass a following and found a cult.

This theory is supported by Big Tech's own commercial communications: if you want to find testimonies to the devastating power of Big Tech's persuasion tools, you need look no further than their own sales literature, in which they boast that potential advertisers can expect endless returns from their machine-learning mind control rays.

It's weird that we'd believe these boasts, though. Big Tech, after all, is led by "morally bankrupt liars" whose every pronouncement about their labor practices, economic activity, tax planning, private data handling and political lobbying turn out to be bullshit -- it would be pretty remarkable if the only time Big Tech told the truth was when they were trying to entice customers to given them money in exchange for access to their advertising products.

It's indisputable that Big Tech's nonconsensually assembled deep dossiers on billions of internet users are good for something, though, and that something is finding people based on whether they possess certain hard-to-find traits, like "people who are thinking of buying a refrigerator" or "people who have nonbinary gender identities" or "people who are fed up and ready to get involved with #BlackLivesMatter" or "people who want to carry tiki torches through the streets of Charlottesville, chanting 'Jews will not replace us.'"

This people-finding capacity is at the heart of the rise in conspiracism. It's what lets recommendation algorithms find people who are susceptible to videos about eugenics or the flat Earth, and it's what lets people who find these ideas compelling locate similar people to form groups with; groups that give them a sense of belonging, community and capacity for action.

Which leaves us with the question: why are so many people so vulnerable to conspiracism? What are the traits that give rise to a susceptibility to believe in conspiracy theories?

Merlan's answer echoes much of the consensus among psychologists: conspiracy is trauma's traveling companion. People who have encountered situations in which real conspiracies have harmed them or the people they love find it easy to believe that other conspiracies are at the root of harms they are living through now.

Take the persistent belief that the flooding in New Orleans's Black neighborhoods during Hurricane Katrina was caused by dynamiting the levees in order to spare white neighborhoods from flooding. This did not happen, but in 1927, the Black homes of Tupelo, Mississippi were wiped off the map when the authorities decided to blow the levees in order to spare the richer, whiter homes that were at risk from the floodwaters. Both floods followed a common pattern (right down to the mass expropriation of Black homes after the floodwaters receded).

The Great Mississippi Flood of 1927 isn't a conspiracy theory, it's just a conspiracy. The fact that the white establishment was willing to conspire to drown and rob Black people in the region is what made the theory that perhaps it had happened again in New Orleans plausible.

We are living through a moment in which official truth-seeking exercises are being remade as auctions in which the wealthy bid to decide what the official truth will be, from the safety of opioids to the urgency of climate change. Which is another way of saying that we are living through not just an age of conspiratorial thinking, but also of actual conspiracies, often conspiracies that are so bold that the conspirators are barely phoning in their cover stories.

Merlan has spent time embedded in conspiracy communities of all stripes, from daffy New Agers to vicious white nationalists, and her keen anthropological analysis of the dynamics of these communities and the personalities within them foregrounds the historical precedents that conspiracists rely upon in shoring up their own beliefs. Scratch a vaccine denier, find someone who'll tell you about ghastly pharma coverups and experiments from Tuskegee to the opioid epidemic. Ufologists can go chapter-and-verse on real military/aerospace coverups and conspiracies (see also: Pizzagaters driven to frenzy by Jeffrey Epstein revelations).

From Watergate and Iran-Contra to MK ULTRA and Cointelpro, the US establishment has shown itself time and again willing to engage in coverups and palace intrigue. The "Deep State" isn't what the far-right imagines it to be, but it does exist, in the form of career civil servants and prominent government contractors who can and do exert pressure to maintain the status quo for good and ill, from keeping Guantanamo Bay open to frustrating the most unhinged plans of Trump and his cabinet.

Inequality is a driver of conspiracy, because with unequal distributions of money come unequal distributions of power, and thus corruption, self-dealing, and, naturally enough, cover-ups to keep the boat from rocking too much.

Countering incorrect conspiratorial beliefs is important and urgent work, but it is purely reactive -- ideological fire-fighting. The case that Merlan forcefully builds in her outsanding book is that we need fire-prevention, not just fire-fighting: we need to change the conditions that prime people to believe conspiracies, which is to say, we need to root out corruption and impunity and rebalance the inequality that gives rise to them, otherwise, the fires will become too numerous to extinguish.

Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power [Anna Merlan/Metropolitan Books]

https://boingboing.net/2019/09/21/from-opioids-to-antivax.html

[cantcheckthatoff-yet]

004. Message in a Haunted Mansion | The Parlor pt. 1

On the way to the foyer, we notice a little compartment in the wall of the hallway that leads from the dining room to the rest of the house.

“The rope’s cut.” Nancy says rather dejectedly. Looks like a dumbwaiter (a name that always makes me sad. Why can’t it be a smartwaiter?).

From the foyer, we can reach the parlor, which also leads to a small library. Let’s focus first on the parlor, though.

It’s certainly... matronly... 

We scan the room for things to stare at intensely and steal. Despite the busy patterns in this room, there are only a couple of things to look at that are actually worth mentioning.

A fire extinguisher in this cabinet - which inspires Nancy to muse, “It’s good to know it’s here.” Yeah, ok, so that means we’ll need it. Swell.

Another thing we find is by the fireplace (lol um) and it’s a box with some very old papers in it. 

The more yellow of the two papers we look at is a list of hotels with phone service from 1894. Now that’s old. The other piece of paper is an old letter from a law office to some guy that proclaims that the mansion (this mansion, which we are standing in) now belongs to The Ladies Protection and Relief Society.” Hey now, those are the same Lady Protectors that the misogynistic editor of that theater newspaper was griping about for putting on plays. These must be the papers that Abby found.

We move along to another area and find a book about San Francisco’s creepy, dank tunnels. I do not have a healthy relationship with tunnels in Nancy Drew games, and this does not bode well for me.

Speaking of things I don’t have a healthy relationship with in Nancy Drew games!

A spooky gust of wind blows these curtains and makes the violin on the chair do a very ugly, ghostly creak. The kind I’d make if I tried to play the violin. That’s a no from me, dawg.

I’d love to say I’m a Velma or a Freddy when it comes to scary shit in video games, even ones as generally benign as Nancy Drew... but I’m a Shaggy, y’all. I Shaggy hard.

Anyway, I step away from the ghost violin and look at this desk instead! It has a phone! I can call my friends and cry to them that I’m Shaggy-ing out!

Our phonecall options in this game are Bess (and George, who’s staying with Bess while her place is renovated), Nancy’s house (where we speak exclusively to Hannah the maid and never once ask to speak to our own father), and someone named Emily, who’s local to San Francisco. (Where’s my man, Ned? Where is my man? Where is he? Are we on a break? I don’t approve.)

We call Hannah and ask her some stuff about Rose. They met at the community theater in River Heights, along with Abby (we haven’t met her yet). Nancy asks about Abby. Apparently she’s “interesting... eccentric.” K... Hannah doesn’t know much about the accidents around the house, but says that Rose is under a lot of pressure because her whole life’s savings have been spent on this mansion. Oof. That million dollar fire insurance would probably be pretty tempting. (oh god, the extinguisher)

I decide not to call Emily yet. I don’t know who Emily is in relation to Nancy, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.

Also notable about the desk is the left drawer. Nancy, of course, reads the two letters sitting inside it. The first is from Hue, a friend of Rose’s. He heard a rumor that she bought a big mansion and he wants to come visit. He’s very bored with his life, and also wants to visit China and is learning Mandarin. Hue’s all over the place! It’s fine.

The other letter isn’t finished, but Rose confirms the rumors and mentions that the renovations may well be complete by the time she finishes writing this letter. There are just so many distractions with the accidents, and the deadline is looming. 

Attached to the parlor is a small library, as I mentioned. That’s where we’ll be heading next.

Next up, books! So many books!

[gofordrakgo]

Dwelling Chapter Three

“ ‘No! No way!’ When he only responded by sticking his lip out further, she leaned forward, grabbed a hold of one side of his suspenders, pulled them back and then let them snap back against his chest. ‘Ow!’ He squawked, scrambling away from her to press himself against the other counter.  ‘That hurt!’ ”

Dwelling Summary

Dwelling Chapter One

Dwelling Chapter Two

Dwelling Chapter Four

On any given night Shea lay in bed for hours before falling asleep. Somehow she fell asleep before her head even touched the pillow in the spare bed in Lipsky’s apartment. She dreamt of swirling colors: green, black, blue mingled with odd flashes of orange, but by the time she woke up the next morning she remembered none of it. 

She woke to the sound of creaky cabinets opening and closing, and pots and pans clinking together. A slim beam of sunlight shone through the cracks in the blinds. She lay in bed waiting for a sense of panic to settle in, for her brain to start wondering where she was or why she wasn’t inside Go Tower. It never happened. She felt warm, in a cozy sort of way, and the noise from the kitchen seemed familiar and comforting. 

Never one to just lie in bed for hours after waking up, not that she’d had much choice in the matter, Shea stood, pulled her grimy jeans back on, and slipped out into the kitchen. 

Drew seemed not to hear her and she watched him in silence, stifling a yawn. He hadn’t combed his hair yet and it stuck up in odd places, loose curls forming at the nape of his neck. The way he moved reminded her of someone waiting to start dancing, despite the lack of music. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, reached for a spatula with a snappy movement of his wrist, drumming his fingers on the counter as he did. 

He wore dark jeans that hung loosely off his waist, secured by navy blue suspenders with white polka dots. In contrast, the white button-up shirt he wore was clearly too small on him, she could see every muscle in his shoulders and back flexing as he moved around. Shea blinked at him a few times. He both looked cuter, and far geekier than the previous night. 

Without a word Shea walked the rest of the way into the kitchen, popping up to sit on the counter again. Drew yelped and jumped away from her, throwing his arms up to cover his head. 

“Sh-ngh- don’t do that,” he shouted at her. Breathing heavily, he dropped his arms back to his sides still staring at her. 

She blinked at him, a little startled by his initial scream, but otherwise unfazed. “Jeez. Sor-ry, scaredy-cat.” His hair looked even more sticky-uppy in the front. 

“Oh, yes. You seem so apologetic.” He rolled his eyes and stomped back to his place in front of the stove. Scrambled eggs were cooking in one pan, bacon in the other. It looked delicious and her mouth started watering as she watched him cook. 

Shea shrugged. “At least I said sorry. It’s not my fault you got scared.”

He turned his head to glare at her, taking the eggs off the stove. He shoveled them onto two separate plates, on the counter opposite her. He switched the spatula out for a set of tongs, checked the bacon and then placed two pieces on both plates. 

He leaned against the other counter, watching her, and lifted up one of the plates. She held a hand out, expecting him to pass the plate to her. Instead, he shook his head and took a bite of the eggs. 

“No way. You still have to answer two questions if you want a meal,” he said, after swallowing. A vague hint of a smirk took over his face. 

“Well then what’d you bother making two plates for?” she snapped. His smirk pissed her off, despite the fact that they had agreed on two questions for a meal just a few hours before.  “I’m done answering questions.” 

“Then I’m not going to ask any,” he said. He plucked a piece of bacon off what should have been her plate and bit into it. 

“Hey!” Shea protested. She felt the heat, both from him pissing her off and from her own embarrassment start coursing through her veins. She had to make a very real effort to calm down before plasma started to shoot out of her hands. She hid her hands behind her back in fists, as her fingertips burst into green flame. “Ugh,” she finally muttered, giving up as the fire died. “Fine.”

“What’s your last name?”

“Pick a different question.”

“Fine. Why don’t you want me to know your last name?”

“Not answering that either.”

Drew pushed his glasses up with the back of his hand. “You must not be very hungry.”

“Just ask something else, okay? I’m not answering questions like that!”

“Fine! When you decided to run away, where did you plan on going?”

“I didn’t. Mostly I just went to all the addresses listed in roommate wanted ads, but none of them worked out.”

“Okay. Um. Oh! How old are you, actually?”

“Sixteen. Gimme.” She held her hand out again, and this time he picked her plate up and passed it over. He’d swapped one of his pieces of bacon with the one from her plate that he’d bitten, leaving her two full pieces. She took a huge bite of the eggs, pleasantly surprised to find that they were even more delicious than they looked. “How old are you?” Shea asked around a mouthful of food.

“Twenty-one. Are you planning on returning home anytime soon?” 

“I already answered your two questions.”

“Well, you’ve also already got another night to stay here, so I figure two more and you could have lunch too.”

“Don’t you have a job or- or school or something?”

“It’s Saturday. No class. And I do have a job, but it’s on-campus so I also don’t work on weekends.”

“What kind of job?”

“I’m a TA.”

“A what?”

“Teachers assistant. I give exams, help grade essays and tutor students who need extra help. Are you planning on going home? Ever?

“Cool. And… no.”

“Why’d you leave?”

“I’m still not answering that.”

“Aw c’mon, please!” His lower lip jutted out as his eyes went wide with a false sort of innocence.

“No! No way!” When he only responded by sticking his lip out further, she leaned forward, grabbed a hold of one side of his suspenders, pulled them back and then let them snap back against his chest.

“Ow!” He squawked, scrambling away from her to press himself against the other counter.  “That hurt!”

“Yeah, kinda the point. The puppy dog look doesn’t suit you.”

“Hmph. Says you.” 

“Why do you care so much about why I left, anyway?”

“I don’t care, I’m just a naturally curious individual.”

Shea scoffed. “Yeah right.”

Drew’s face flushed bright red, and he dumped his empty plate into the sink. “I’ve got tests to grade, anyway,” he mumbled and walked back into his room.

Shea stared after him. Sitting alone in the kitchen during the day seemed much more strange than it had in the middle of the night. It no longer reminded her of her childhood home. It was much too quiet for that now that the sun was up. There had always been so much noise: Dad’s tools buzzing away in the garage, Mom practicing her lesson plans before class, Fearless Ferret playing on the TV, Merrick making a fool out of himself with whatever new plot to get attention he’d come up with, Wendell and Westley’s baby babble and toddling footsteps. It drove her crazy back then. She’d give just about anything to get it back now. 

The Go Tower dwarfed their old home, and though sound constantly echoed down the cavernous hallways, it wasn’t the same. Instead of babble between Wendell and Westley, she heard more and more voices emanating from their training room as they pushed the limits of how many clones of themselves they could make, testing themselves to the point of exhaustion. Instead of Merrick poorly performing magic tricks at the breakfast table, she heard him laugh after scaring the staff by shrinking down and returning to normal before they spotted him. Instead of Fearless Ferret, she heard weights clinking together as Heath pushed himself to become stronger and stronger. Instead of lesson plans, she heard her mother writing out training schedules. Instead of buzzing tools, she heard her father on the phone with government agencies seeking the help of Team Go making deals and discussing payment. 

Though having her own bedroom started out nice, it grew lonely fast. The space was far too large for just one person. Like each of her brothers, except for the twins who insisted upon sharing everything since even their powers were identical, her bedroom in Go Tower was closer to being its own house, particularly because it consisted of several rooms. She had her own bathroom, bigger than both bathrooms in their old home combined. She had an entire gym in one room that held a treadmill, weights, punching bags, yoga mats, and various other general exercise equipment, almost all of which she was expected to use every day. Attached to the gym was her power-focused training room which held large cement blocks for her to explode with plasmablasts, a wall made of cement, painted with targets for her to practice her aim, scraps of metal for her to practice temperature control and, of course, a number of fire extinguishers. She also had a study area, with state of the art home-school textbooks on every subject imaginable, a large TV screen with video connection to various tutors around the world, and a little robot that was meant to quiz her, but it often malfunctioned and repeated the same question over and over, no matter the subject she chose. The actual bedroom itself held a king-size bed that made her feel the way she though drowning might feel.

Actually, when she thought about it, her bedroom reminded her of Drew’s whole apartment. She also had a sofa and loveseat, though they were green, that faced a television screen, though hers was far nicer and was surrounded by what must be every horror movie ever made. She had a large table in one corner, that mostly consisted of drawings of different battle plans. The only things she really liked about her room, were the bookshelves that reached from floor to ceiling. The whole room looked like a library. She even had a reading nook and fireplace. Really, the whole thing was absurd. Her closet was bigger than Drew’s guest room, despite the fact that she alternated between her uniform and gym clothes most days of the week. 

Unable to handle sitting still doing nothing after so many years of nonstop movement except for sleeping, Shea leaped off the counter. Part of her wanted to go knock on Drew’s door, but she didn’t know what she’d say to him. Plus, she didn’t want to look desperate for his attention. After all, she was only meant to be there for one more night and for all she knew he was planning on calling the police about finding a runaway. 

She dumped her plate into the sink next to his and wandered off to find the bathroom. It wasn’t particularly hard to find, given that there were only two doors she hadn’t seen opened. She opened the first to find the linen closet Drew had mentioned the night before, so it came as no surprise that the second led to the actual bathroom. 

The bright red shower curtain stuck to the side of the bathtub, but it didn’t look at all grimy. Shea peeled it back and saw that the bottom of the tub was lined with a clear adhesive, decorated with multi-colored robots, aliens and rocket ships. What a dork. And who used blueberry-ash shampoo? Curious, she picked up the bottle and opened the top. It did smell kind of fruity with a weird fiery after smell. She couldn’t decide if she liked it or not. His body wash, some sort of off-brand thing, she did like. It’s label simply read ‘Body Wash For Men’ and it smelled kind of like water, but it had a sort of a woodsy undertone that made her think of leaves changing color in the fall—something she’d rarely seen since her parents purchased Go City. 

As she moved to turn the water on, she realized she probably should ask before just using his shower, especially since she’d need to use his shampoo and body wash. She decided that bothering him because she was bored was entirely different from bothering him because she needed something, and after standing outside his door for an awkwardly long time, she knocked. 

The door swung open a moment later. “What?” Peering around the corner she could see him hunched over a desk tucked nearly into the corner of the room; he must have reached behind him to open the door. He’d flattened his hair, but only a little. He didn’t turn to look at her. 

“Can- um- can I use your shower?”

Drew’s pen finally stopped moving on the paper as he uttered a quiet, “oh.” He turned around and blinked at her before properly answering. “Right, yes. Of course. Um. Here.” He stood up and shuffled past her out into the hallway. She stood behind him, feeling more and more like the little kid he claimed she was, waiting as he opened up the linen closet. He passed her a faded blue towel, that smelled of the same lavender laundry detergent as the sheets on her bed. “I- do you want a clean shirt? I probably have something I could give you.”

“Oh, yeah, that’d be… nice, I guess.” She liked annoying him more. Being polite felt awkward. 

“I’ll leave something by the door, then?”

“Okay,” she said, forcing a shrug. “Thanks.” She hurried into the bathroom. 

The shower felt like absolute bliss. The water ran lukewarm at best, the pressure varied between barely dripping and hard enough to hurt, and she still couldn’t decide if she liked the way the shampoo smelled. But it felt so nice to feel clean that she hardly noticed all of that. 

The mirror hadn’t even steamed up by the time she got out. She realized as she looked in the mirror that she’d been an absolute disaster before. She still looked like a mess and a half. She hadn't even realized that there were yellow-blue bruises lining her chin, presumably from her most recent fight. Briefly, she wondered if the real reason Drew wanted to know who she was so bad was because he thought she was being abused. There were other bruises, on her shoulders and her thighs that she had actually known were there. 

The one on her left shoulder, a nasty looking thing, came from being thrown clear across a giant room and slamming into the wall. At first, she’d genuinely believed her shoulder had been dislocated. Most of the ones on her thighs came from a guy who called himself ‘The Hunter’. He shot her with a number of darts while she’d been dealing with another villain. Hego lectured her the entire time they were in the Go-Car for going too hard on him once she caught him. He didn’t care at all that his goal had been to kill her, or that the only reason she was still alive was because her plasma burned up the poison. 

Annoyed, Shea tried combing through her hair with her fingers. It didn’t work very well, and upon not finding a brush anywhere in the bathroom she debated between chopping it all off and just sucking it up and asking if he had a comb. For the moment she just gave up. She wrapped the towel tight around herself and listened at the door for a long moment, trying to make sure she couldn’t hear him outside. When she felt sure, she opened the door a crack and snatched up the clothes he’d left on the floor. 

He’d brought her a shirt, as he said he would, but surprisingly he’d also brought a pair of gym shorts. She felt gross putting on the same underwear she’d been wearing, even after turning them inside out, but she did what she had to. She really should have thought this whole running away thing through more, she told herself, she didn’t even have money to actually get clean underwear. Still, sliding into otherwise clean clothes felt nice in a way she wasn’t used to. 

The gym shorts were a little loose and hung at an awkward height, but ultimately they stayed up well enough after she tied the strings as tight as possible. The t-shirt actually fit quite nicely, if a little long. She suspected that he’d given her a Mighty Martian shirt, just to spite her. 

When she left the bathroom he had moved out onto the couch, red-marked papers scattered around him on the cushions and coffee table. 

He spoke without even turning to look at her. “I’m sorry if they don’t fit quite right. It’s all I had on hand.”

“Fits fine,” she said and sat down on the spare chair. “You’ve got pen all over your arms you know. And on your face.”

He acknowledged her with a grunt, one of his shoulders moving up in half a shrug. 

“What are you grading anyway?”

“Chemistry exams.”

“Didn’t classes just start like a week ago? Why are they taking exams already?”

He squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing at his temples. Was she annoying him that much? “These are finals from the summer course.”

“Oh.”

After a minute of restless fidgeting, Shea grabbed one of the exams that had already been graded and looked it over. She understood exactly none of it. Aside from not knowing anything about chemistry the guy had terrible handwriting, although he seemed to have gotten himself a decent enough grade. 

“You spelled ‘calorimetry’ wrong,” she pointed out, reading through the notes he had scrawled throughout the paper. 

“How would you know?” 

“Because the question on the front spelled it differently from how you spelled it. You spelled it like ‘cal-om-ir-etry’.”

Drew snatched the paper from her hands, holding it practically up to his nose as he searched for his mistake. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” he moaned, as he saw she was right. He slammed the test down on the coffee table and hunched over it, roughly scratching the word out. She heard him spelling the word under his breath like a chant, though he didn’t touch the pen to the paper. 

“You just mixed up the letters, it really isn’t that big a deal.”

“Nygh- yes it is,” he snapped at her, throwing the pen to the coffee table and burying his face in his hands, which pushed his glasses up awkwardly into his hair. 

She really hoped he wouldn’t start crying again, she didn’t know how to deal with that. Acting on some semblance of instinct she snatched the paper back, picked up his discarded pen and wrote the word properly underneath where he’d scratched it out. 

“There. Problem solved.” She pushed the paper back towards him and suppressed the temptation to throw the pen at his head. He pulled his hands away from his face and yanked his glasses back down to look at the paper. 

He seemed to read her writing multiple times before confirming that she had actually spelled it correctly. He opened and shut his mouth several times and Shea couldn’t decide if he looked grateful or annoyed. 

“Thanks,” he finally grunted, his voice softer than she’d heard it. When they made eye contact his entire face flushed and he quickly looked back down. 

“You know, you could’ve easily done that yourself. So what’s the deal?” 

He shook his head slowly and didn’t answer. 

Shea crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair. “I’m not gonna quit bugging you until you tell me what your deal is.”

“You’re not going to quit bugging me anyway,” he pointed out. “And it’s none of your business, alright?”

“Nah. I wanna know.”

“What’s your last name?”

Any amusement she felt vanished instantly. “Okay, fine. Just shut up about that.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“You know, your shampoo smells really weird.”

“You know, I really don’t care what you think about it. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of fancy shampoo back home.” He glared at her, but even as he said he started to look like he felt bad about it. 

“I’d rather weird-smelling shampoo to going back there,” she muttered, and this time it was her turn to look away when he looked at her. She shifted her hands behind her back. It had been too long since she’d burned off enough of the plasma energy, and she could feel how even the slightest hint of distress or annoyance was pushing her closer and closer to a full-on fire forming in her hands. 

She shot off the chair and stomped back into the room. She remembered not to lock the door just as she began to do so. Instead, she pressed her back to the door, held her hands out in front of her and finally let them light up. The whole room glowed green around her, brighter than she’d seen since the comet hit. 

When she was twelve she had tried to burn up all of the plasma in her body, thinking maybe if she could her parents would go back to treating her like Shea instead of like Shego. She’d let her hands burn and burn, until, eventually, she began throwing up, became blindingly dizzy and passed out on the cold hard floor of her training room. The worst part was that when she finally woke up she was still completely alone in her training room. She’d never tried it again. For days afterward using her powers at all brought her close to tears, the skin around her hands had burned and blistered so horribly. Around about a month later the burns turned back in callouses, and she’d never tried again. 

Burning her hands in the spare bedroom felt a lot like that. Part of her wanted to just burn and burn until she absolutely couldn’t anymore. She hated feeling all these emotions again. For the last four years, she had mostly just forced herself to forget that she had ever had a life outside of ‘Shego’. She trained, and fought, and studied and felt nothing. 

And this, this… geek kept making her feel… He just kept making her feel. She felt guilty when he seemed upset, he actually made her laugh, made her feel protected, he annoyed her in a way that she also found endearing, and… She didn’t even know. He made her feel so many different ways, sometimes all at once. She no longer knew whether she liked that better than feeling constantly apathetic.

When her veins finally began to run cold, she stopped and collapsed to her knees with her head buried in her hands. She wanted to feel normal again and none of this helped. No matter what she did she wasn’t going to get Hego to be Heath again or get Mego to go back to being Merrick. Wego might never realize they were two people; that their names had once been Wendell and Westley. Mom and Dad were never going to be Mom and Dad again. Were they even looking for her as Shea? As their daughter? Or were they looking for Shego? 

She hated all of this so much. She hated it. She didn’t know the guy sitting behind the door, and she hated that he was the first person she’d felt anything other than dutiful apathy towards. She hated him for trying to get her to open up more and then hated herself for hating him. She hated that the clothes she wore belonged to a stranger, and she hated feeling like they could never be friends because she could never tell him the truth about who she was. 

Suddenly she found herself standing up. She pushed open the door, and practically marched over to Drew. 

[cyberneticlagomorph]

Red Button

"Vampires aren't real."

At least, that's what they tell people. Like the sick, bloodthirsty masses tearing each other apart in the street are just figments of a collective imagination.

As if you aren't one of them.

They'd brought you in when you were young, so young that you could lie and say that you didn't remember anything before then. Before them. But you'd be lying.

But you don't lie.

And you don't forget.

You can't. That'd be a luxury, reserved for your betters, and those you hunt.

You are special, an oddity born of a disease meant to separate the weak from the strong. Manmade in a lab somewhere far away, where the creators sit in their ivory towers and watch as the world burns and they hoard all the fire extinguishers.

You were a child when they found you, hiding in some filthy hovel full of diseased freaks that dared call themselves "vampires". Nothing more than arrogant humans trying to sew silver linings onto clouds full of acid rain. But not you. No, not you.

There was something wrong with your strain, wrong with you, that made you more like the demons of olde. There was something so fascinating and strange about you that the team of Bloodhounds that found you that night decided to spare your life, instead of ending it right there.

They took you back to the scientists that made them, made the master strain of your disease, and thus, made you. They ran their tests on you, day after day, and found you quite remarkable, saying that your "mutation" was unlike anything they'd ever seen. That you were unlike anything they'd ever seen. You were too precious, too rare to be killed, so they found a use for you in time. They taught you how to hunt, and how to kill. You took to your training like a duck to water, learning how to recognize heartbeats and memorize the scents of your targets, your prey. They made you into a weapon of exceptional lethality.

To date, you are best assassin the Conglomerate has ever had, and you have never lost your prey once.

You are the one they call in when all other methods are exhausted and yet the target is somehow still alive.

A walking "red button" with two rows of teeth and no fear of death.

Your designation is Lazarus 414379, code name "Charon". You like to call yourself "Mira", a name that used to belong to a little girl a long long time ago. But none of that matters now. No one speaks to you unless it's to give you a mission, and even then you are referred to as just your designation or callsign. But again, none of that matters. You are here to end lives, not make friends. Weapons don't need names, the same way they don't forget, and don't lie.

You aren't surprised to have a file forced into your hands first thing in the morning, just like you aren't surprised to read that your newest target is someone that's managed to dodge every agent the Reclamations Unit has thrown at him. You are no stranger to these cases, labrats that scuttle back onto the filthy streets they'd come from, only now they're carrying some important piece of Conglomerate tech that still needs testing. So they have to be captured and brought back. You aren't fond of the Reclamations Unit, their ways are roundabout and sloppy, spending precious resources trying to keep ungrateful filth alive when there are countless other labrats to be tested on.

But this file is different somehow, with page after page of blacked out text. Things beyond classified. None of that is any of your business, but you'd be lying if you said that you weren't just a little curious about what made subject 7886 so interesting. What nonclassified information on him there is, you read with fervor. A lot of it borders on fantastic or nonsensical but cliffnotes mentioning unstable genetic modifications and something called "project Merlin" steal your attention, almost as much as the bolded words stating that any agents sent after him have not returned alive. He is suspected of destroying Lazarus Facility Delta, and the theft of Conglomerate property including but not limited to several hundred test subjects, FERA hybrids, dozens of files worth of classified information, and several things too far above your pay grade for you to know.

That was days ago, weeks almost. Until now you've been biding your time, surveying the target's place of work. Apparently nobody can find out where he lives. Typical. Typical Reclamations Unit halfassery at work. You've done your best to try and find out where he lives so you can corner him somewhere quiet and put a bullet in his skulk before anyone can notice, but it's like this guy just magically appears wherever he needs to be and then vanishes just as quickly. It doesn't make any sense. You've tossed around theories of him using the sewers and old city infrastructure to scuttle around unseen, but you'd be able to smell that if it were true. He's always gone before you can corner him, or surrounded by too many people for you to get a clear shot. It's like this guy knows how to dodge assassins in his everyday life, and judging by his file, you wouldn't be surprised.

Since the easy way is thusly inaccessible to you, you'll have to do this the hard way. The messy way. The "shoot this bastard in public and make it look like a hatecrime" way. You hate the hard way, it's sloppy and much too juvenile for your tastes. But it's not like you have any other choice. So you show up at his little hovel of a bar one night during the dinner rush, covered in a thin layer of kevlar, and enough guns to take out a small country.

It doesn't smell right here, the patrons don't smell right either. Their heartbeats are wrong, or gone entirely. This place makes you feel... uneasy, something you aren't used to feeling. Your target is behind the bar. He's... weirder in person, to say the least. This whole place is weird, you don't trust it or the patrons. They're much too cheerful, munching on plates of stirfried weeds and mushrooms, downing tankards of jewel-hued alcohol, or playing video games on the odd little cabinets tucked away in one corner. There are strange symbols on the floor that you write off as "tasteful graffiti" or some trashy hipster appropriation of a mandala. You find a seat at the bar next to an absurdly tiny old man with the most extravagant beard you've ever seen. He's nursing a mug of what might be tea and sketching in a notepad, long elegant strokes depicting what might be architecture of somekind. He catches you staring and smiles a preposterously warm smile.

"Silverware," he whispers, "a future gift for our beloved barkeep here, but shh don't tell him." he chortles, mostly to himself, and flips the page when your target appears to top off his tea. They both share a sly look as your target slides the old man a jar of something golden and a spoon. You ignore the other guy from then on, locking your eyes on the target. His heartbeat sounds wrong, doubled somehow. He smells strange, like soil and growing things, but also like dry bones and warm machinery. Beneath that you can smell his blood and the nose-singeing radioactive tang that comes with it. So many of the people here share that smell. What is it? Are they sick? Some new Conglomerate affliction you aren't privy to? Doesn't matter, really, chances are it won't infect you. Whatever it is. Your target swings back around, toweling off a damp glass as he grins at you. His teeth are almost as sharp as yours, caging a pair of black tongues that make you grimace inwardly.

"What can I get ya?" he chirps, obviously in some kind of a good mood. Pity what you're about to do then. The next few moments seem to happen in slow motion. You draw your weapon, his eyes widen, someone close to you screams. The other bartender, the girl that fills in when your target isn't here, shoves him aside as you pull the trigger. Glass shatters and the floor is bathed in spilled alcohol. All hell breaks loose as the symbols on the floor vanish and the air is suddenly filled with that radioactive tang. The small man leaps for you, trying to wrestle your gun away. You shoot him in the chest and watch him crumple like a dropped toy. Your target is unscathed, his coworker is not, but... she isn't dead. She's just wrong.

There isn't any blood, any gore, just... Nothing. Just empty darkness where splattered gray matter and vicera should be. Even as this wrong thing rattles like dry bones and claws her way to her feet, you feel something cold and foreign slither down your spine. Fear. Fear is for prey when it is cornered. You steel yourself and squeeze off another shot before the glint of metal in the guttering overhead light catches your eye. The guy you'd shot just moments ago, the really short one, was back on his feet, wielding an axe as if you'd just punched him as opposed to put a bullet in his chest. He brings the axe down on your shoulder before you have time to react. The crunch of metal on bone is forever seared into your memory.

As the axe bites through kevlar and into your shoulder you scream, an inhuman caterwaul that takes out what little glassware your bullets missed. The sensation of metal grating against bone and flesh is beyond agonizing. You twist around, find your assailant, and put a bullet in his skull this time. You empty the rest of the clip into his torso. He doesn't get up this time, and neither does the girl, not after you turn her skull into powder. The bar is in chaos, what few people that haven't fled are now cowering under tables with wide eyes. You take out a semi-automatic and spray bullets willy-nilly, not caring who you hit. Your target dissolves into a cloud of blue fireflies as you turn the gun on him and for a moment you are awestruck. Until a wildcat with glowing green eyes lunges at you, only to go down in a hail of bullets.

Now it's your target's turn to scream. He throws himself at you like an idiot, but his body changes midair into a massive snake with glittering crystal scales so sharp they leave furrows in the floor. He stinks now, that same radioactive reek, but a hundredfold. You watch him coil around the bloody cat, emptying clip after clip into his hide but only a lucky few manage to do the job. He flails in pain and his tail comes at you at lightspeed, hitting you square in the chest, knocking you out the front window. As you struggle to your feet you watch him revert back to his "normal" self and squeeze off a paltry few shots before he vanishes in a bright flash and the sound of fucking fairy bells. As sirens roar up the street, you bolt, the stench of that place forever burned in your nostrils.

Your arm is hanging by a string of gristle, your shoulder shattered, broken, bleeding as you find a place to hide as cops swarm the ruined bar. You halfway collapse in a nearby alley, wheezing through punctured lungs and a glass-riddled throat. If you were human you'd be going into shock right now, but you aren't, you're just pissed as fuck that your prey got away. That's never happened before, none of this has happened before. What the fuck was any of that?? Just what exactly were you up against.

A homeless man lingers near the mouth of the alley, you can hear the timid thrum of his heartbeat and smell his stink. It coats your tongue worse than the blood and bile welling up in your mouth. You spit on the ground as he approaches, not listening to whatever inane mumbling he's making. He comes within reach and you strike with more precision than you should be capable in your condition. The skin of his throat gives way beneath your teeth, he tastes like sweat and unwashed skin but as his veins are shredded beneath your jaws and the metallic heat of his blood fills your waiting maw, you can't bring yourself to care. He tries to flail and panic, but you just clamp down and glut yourself until he goes still.

Your body is riddled with thousands upon thousands of nano machines that boost your already remarkable healing abilities and discourage the spontaneous growth of cancer, at the expense of large quantities of protein. You drink blood daily so it's not like you're deficient, but at times like this one can't be too careful. So after you're finished with the old man you tear off what's left of your arm and eat the entire thing. Wounds itch and burn as they heal, some sealing around bits of shrapnel and glass, broken bones set wrong, and your arm starts to grow back in an incredibly barbaric way. In the end, that little snack isn't enough to repair an entire missing limb so you have to eat the rest of the old man. His vile, bloodless flesh tastes horrendous, but it fixes you so you don't complain. Mouthful by mouthful, you start to feel like your old self again.

By the time you're done, the cruel sun has set. Your meal is nothing more than a bloody smear on the pavement and a pile of rancid smelling clothes. Between the specialized nanos in your gut and your 'natural' capabilities, there's is very little you can't digest, but you draw the line at clothes. But that doesn't matter. What does matter is that your prey managed to slip away from you. But you have his scent now, and there is hunting to be done.

[andimackfaneditsss]

Muffin Pt. 1 Pairing: Marty x Buffy (Muffy) + slight Amber x Andi (Ambi), Jonah x Cyrus (Jyrus), and Bex x Miranda (Biranda) Rated: Everyone Summary: Finally a couple, Buffy is determined to not lose Marty. She will not have them end up like Jonah and Andi who are currently on a break. She may be going overboard, but doing too much is better than nothing at all. Isn’t it? “We need a wet towel!” Buffy screams at Andi, backing away from the stovetop where her grilled cheese slowly turns darker than the pan it fries in. A small flame is starting at the lower left corner of the sandwich.

“Coming!” Andi shouts from the hallway, her nose in the closet. Just then, Bex and Miranda enter. Their riveting conversation about Wes Anderson movies cut short when both notice Buffy standing with her back to the fridge, a brown apron on, terror on her face. Her eyes are aglow with the fire on the stovetop. “Oh my god!” Bex shouts. Her mouth agape. Miranda hurries to the stove to turn off the burner. Bex crosses to the sink where she pulls out the fire extinguisher they keep tucked in the far back of the cabinet. Within seconds the flame is put out and the pan is carefully placed in the sink for further cooling off under the running faucet. Andi rushes into the kitchen with a dripping wet towel in hand. She’s frantic until she sees the fire has been put out...and just whom put it out. Her shoulders fall and she slightly wrings the towel in her hands. “Sorry,” Andi ducks her head to avoid meeting her mom’s stare. “Oh—um...” Miranda trails off, looking down at Andi’s feet. There’s a fist sized puddle growing. Andi pinches a dripping wet corner of the towel and folds it in on itself before placing it neatly on the countertop. Bex places her hands on her hips, a firm stare aimed on Buffy currently. “Well? What were you two doing? Cooking, without a grown up present?” Andi opens her mouth to protest any blame that may be on Buffy when the curly haired girl shrugs before accepting all the blame herself. “It’s all my fault.” Buffy meets Bex’s stare, matching the intensity save for the remorse she adds in. Andi sighs, coming to her friend’s side. “She said she would make Marty lunch before school.” “I just didn’t realize it would be so hard.” Buffy mumbles. Miranda and Bex share a look before she decides to slip out, promising to come back for coffee and donuts tomorrow. Andi and Buffy sit at the table, sensing a talk is about to happen. Buffy didn’t want to cause trouble. Especially not for Andi, that was the last thing the girl needed. Her relationship with Jonah ended a few days ago when it came out...when he came out. Jonah being bisexual didn’t bother Andi, she didn’t even mind that he told her he might have feelings for their friend, Cyrus. But it hurt when he said he no longer liked her that way, and he just needed to be without a girlfriend or boyfriend for awhile to think about things. Andi, of course, supported him and even suggested he try to tell Cyrus how he feels. She still doesn’t know Cyrus’ situation. But even being as smiley as ever, Buffy could see the moments where Andi was hurting. Amber could, too. That’s why for the past few days that they’ve been going to the Spoon, Amber has been giving Andi free refills for her milkshakes. Andi refused the offer until Amber insisted it was allowed. It was not. Buffy kept quiet, though. Now here Buffy is, creating a fire in her best friend’s kitchen all because of a promise to make lunch for her and her boyfriend. She really didn’t want to cause any more trouble or pain for Andi because, though she insisted it would be a cute idea, it was clear she was reminded of all the things that couples do that her and Jonah will never get to do now. Buffy stares at her lap. Disappointed with herself, she picks at her name embroidered in gold threading across the middle of her apron. Her mom had it done for her. It was just after Buffy promised her neither would ever miss each other’s birthday, and so away happened the many birthday cakes she would have to make her mom and herself to only be seen over video chat. But it was worth it. Just to see her smiling face, proud Buffy was keeping her promise. If only she were her right now... Bex looks from the simmering grilled cheese still in its pan, jutting out of the sink, to the two girls in front of her. “What’s going on?” “We just told you—” Andi starts before Bex holds a hand up, silencing her. “I know the situation regarding the burnt grilled cheese. I meant...both of your situations. Are you guys okay?” Bex softens. Andi shakes her head slowly until it becomes vigorous. Buffy takes her hand which lays on the table as the other bunches the hem of her shirt. “I know it’s hard getting over your first crush,” Bex ducks until she can meet Andi’s stare. “I get it. It sucks. For now. But it will get better. It will get easier to see him again, to see other couples being all couple-y. Just give it time.” She moves her gaze to Buffy who meets it immediately. “And you. If a boy is putting enough pressure on you to make him a sandwich that you start a fire in your friend’s kitchen? He’s not worth it. But I know Marty, he’s not the one who put you up to this.” Bex quirked a brow. “Is he?” Buffy shakes her head. “Okay then. Don’t make this so stressful. Just buy him lunch!” Bex shrugs, grinning. Buffy and Andi share a laugh, glancing over at the other. They nod so that the conversation is over but both know it’s much more than a first crush not liking you back, and a burnt grilled cheese sandwich. ————————— The Spoon was alive with conversation at every table. Amber’s friends were sat at the table in the farthest back. They don’t seem to notice her, and if they do they don’t seem to care to let her know they do. The only one who says “hi” and waves as she passes their table is Iris, still healing from her break up with Cyrus. The reasoning for their split is still kept a secret. Cyrus didn’t need to tell Iris he wasn’t ready, she just kept quiet and they continued hanging out. Buffy respected her but would never let the girl know. Andi slid into their booth finally. She had already made two trips to the bathroom, her face damp with a sheen of water from having splashed her face. She was doing fine, she insisted, just in need of a little waking up. Buffy tried hard to believe that even though Andi has no visible bags under her eyes, and the whites are as white as ever. But then, there is more than one way to be tired... “The usual?” Amber appears at their table wearing a bright smile. Her eyes flicking back and forth between Andi and Buffy before settling on Andi. Andi sighs. “Can you sit with us again?” Amber furrows her brows. Buffy knows she can’t, but she will. As she has for the past few days. Skipping out on lunch and having to scarf down a hearty dinner after work. Buffy didn’t know why but she kind of felt upset that Andi and Amber were getting so close. That Andi was almost relying on Amber more than her now. She shouldn’t because her and Cyrus have grown closer than all three of them have ever been. It just seemed more and more apparent the Good Hair Crew may be disbanding. “Of course!” Amber nods firmly. She puts her pad and pen away in the pouch of her waist apron and looks over her shoulder at her boss behind the counter, he’s already working two fryers. They were short on staff. “I’m taking my lunch break.” He nods irritatedly. Amber slides in beside Andi, takes up her hand and brings it to the table with hers. Andi drops her head onto Amber’s shoulder. Yep. Buffy thinks. The usual. Marty enters the restaurant, his backpack slung over one shoulder. “Hey, Muffin!” Buffy rises to bring him into a hug. It became a tight squeeze that wasn’t returned. Marty would have hugged back...if his arms weren’t pinned to his sides by Buffy. “Whoa! What’s gotten into you?” Marty pulls back from Buffy’s hold. “Did you just call me Muffin?” “Yeah! Of course. Why wouldn’t I? We’re boyfriend and girlfriend now. We should have pet names for each other.” Buffy feels sick. She can’t figure out what she’s doing, or why. “Right?” Marty stares at her, incredulous, before chuckling nervously. “I think I’ll just stick with Buffy. Is that okay? I’m terrible at coming up with nicknames. I’d probably just end up calling you Cutie Pie.” “That’s not so terrible.” Buffy actually thinks it’s better than Muffin. Marty laughs. “Except for the fact it’s wholly unoriginal and impersonal. At least you took the time to think of Muffin...why Muffin, though?” “Uh,” Amber stumbles over her lie, looking to Andi who covers for Buffy without thinking twice. “She remembered that time I made Jonah a muffin, which he didn’t show up...for. So it went to waste...” Andi trails off, her face scrunching up in sadness. Amber gives her hand a squeeze. “Right!” Buffy sees where Andi was going. “And there you were, right over her shoulder.” “Muffin!” Amber declares, holding her free hand up as if to present a prize to Marty. Marty looks between all three girls before taking his seat finally. “You’re all terrible at lying. But whatever the reason, I’m sure it required some thought. I like it.” Buffy forces herself to giggle, trying her hardest to bring on a blush. Everyone is staring at her. They all look concerned. She must be acting so strange, but she didn’t care. All Buffy could see just across from her and Marty was Andi looking fake happy as she clung to Amber’s side, their hands entwined until Amber’s lunch break was over. Buffy felt bad for her friend, but as selfish as it sounds, she was also determined to not end up like her. ————— With spring around the corner, the cold weather lets up. Everyone wears windbreakers or lightweight hoodies. The sun is peeking out from the clouds and offers a little warmth in contrast to the wind. Andi sits on the curb as her and Buffy wait for Marty. Kelsey is driving him to school again but they had to stop to pick up some breakfast, he promised to pick up something for Buffy also. She bought them lunch yesterday so he agreed to buy them breakfast today. “He should be here already!” Buffy kicks a rock across the lot. “Just be patient, Buffy.” Andi shakes her head at her friend’s antics, a small smile on her lips. “I don’t think his sister would have him miss first period because of a breakfast burrito. He’ll be here.” Jonah’s mom pulls up to the curb. “And so will he.” Andi hangs her head, eyes fixated on the phone in her lap. “She can’t text during school.” Buffy takes a guess at who she’s awaiting a text from. Andi is about to answer when her phone rings out briefly. Her eyes light up and she takes up the phone as if someone texted her she won concert tickets. “I stand corrected.” Buffy rolls her eyes. Jonah walks over to them. He scratches the back of his head, looking like a child guilty of breaking the cookie jar only to find nothing there. He broke Andi, and in the end there wasn’t even a relationship to salvage. Or at least, there won’t be for awhile. Buffy shouldn’t be mad, she should understand what he’s going through because it’s the same as Cyrus. Trying to figure himself out. It’s not his fault he fell out of like with Andi, and it’s even more not his fault he thinks he may like Cyrus as more than a friend. Yet she still gets angry at how Jonah barely talks with Andi anymore. “H-hey, Andi.” Jonah refuses to meet her eyes. Andi refuses to look up from her phone, focused on one text from Amber. Everything will be fine😉👍 She couldn’t understand why but just reading it made her breathe easier. “Hi.” Jonah notices the phone. He sneaks a peek at the contact. “Oh cool. You and Amber are getting pretty close?” Andi finally looks up, mustering a smile. “Yeah. She’s pretty amazing when you get to know her.” Jonah nods, smiling a genuine smile. He believes everything is okay. Andi is trying to believe that. “Well, I gotta head in. I’ll save you a seat at lunch?” Jonah steps around Andi, walking backward to talk with her. “Thanks, but I’m having lunch with Amber.” Andi says. Buffy turns around, confused. Angry. Jonah’s smile falters but he catches himself before it’s too noticeable. “Oh. Okay then. Tell Cyrus I’m saving him a seat, Buffy!” She nods before turning on Andi. Jonah’s already walked inside. “Please tell me you didn’t ask her to skip out on school, just to have lunch with you.” “Lunch is the same time for everyone, Buffy.” Andi chuckles. It doesn’t spread to Buffy. “You know that’s not what I meant.” “Do I? It was a pretty nonsensical question that I think I answered well enough.” “Andi.” Andi notices the firmness in Buffy’s voice. She rises off the curb, gathering her things. “I’m gonna head inside.” “I’m glad she’s there for you. Hear me out!” Buffy gets Andi to turn back, even if irritated. “I don’t think you should be so dependent on her, especially when it might be affecting her. Have you even stopped to consider how she may be feeling?” Andi hesitates before shaking her head at nothing in particular. “I’ll see you inside, Buffy.” With that, Buffy’s alone. Waiting at the curb for her boyfriend. Cyrus arrived early, as usual, so he should be waiting inside for her. Anger settles in. Cyrus is always the one to beat everyone to school. It is the usual. Jonah knew Cyrus would already be inside by now. That by heading in before Andi and Buffy he would run into him first. So why did he have to make a statement about how he would be giving Andi’s seat to Cyrus? Why did he feel the need to make a comment about her and Amber spending so much time together? Buffy couldn’t believe that a relationship ending was the cause of all this mess. So many questions because of one simple gesture. As Marty finally arrived and waved his sister off, she was determined not to let that come of them. Buffy was not happy with what she was about to do...but it was her only hope of keeping things between her and Marty how they’ve been. How they will always be. No drama. Marty promised them a drama-free relationship and Buffy would stop at nothing to see that through. Marty walks across the lot, a white paper bag in hand. He’s grinning from ear to ear. “Breakfast burritos delivered, property of Marty Eats—whoa!” Buffy wraps Marty in another one of her tight hugs. Her face is buried in his neck, like she’s seen all the female counterparts of the male love interests in cheesy rom-coms do. But it isn’t like the movies. It’s too hot on her face, his cologne is burning her nostrils...or maybe it’s his shampoo because she can’t remember Marty ever wearing cologne before. Has he started wearing cologne? Should she be wearing perfume? Buffy pulls back from the hug that yet again rendered Marty incapable of returning it. She forces her biggest, brightest smile. “Thanks, Pumpkin!” Marty laughs. “Am I gonna be a different food everyday? ‘Cause I could get used to that.” Shoot, she grimaces internally. He actually likes it. “Well then that’s what I’ll be doing. From now on. For as long as we’re together.” Buffy keeps up smiling. “Okay?” Marty walks around her, dangling the white paper bag between them. “I think we could finish these before first period.” “Willing to try!” Buffy says, smiling wide. She means what she said, but somehow smiling more than she would have takes away any truth in her statement. She feels sick. This isn’t her. Aside from the cologne, Marty seems to still be Marty. But she has to be more than just Buffy. She already told him he makes her more. She had to keep her word. Be more open to him. More affectionate. She couldn’t risk losing him. ————————————————————

This was requested by anon, adding in a few choice pairings was my idea. Hope you guys like this! I had a fun time writing this one, as I normally do with Muffy fanfics, but especially this one since I got to play around with whatever little story is happening here. Plus, I got to write my girls (Ambi is otp 4ever!!). So yeah, hope this one was good.

I’d like to thank @gardnerslennox for being a terrific betareader! <3

[littlepryingpandorica]

Project Rebuild Chapter 9

A/N: Buckle your seatbelts, folks! This is gonna be a wild ride on the plot heavy side.

INT. TV STATION – DAY

We see the broadcast feed of the TV Station playing. Instead of the regular TV news anchors reporting the news, there are two sharks holding literal boat anchors. They aren’t Shark Army guards wearing suits. They are regular Lego sharks. They don’t speak English, only repeating “Nomnom” again and again.

SHARK # 1: Nomnomnom, nom?

SHARK# 2: Nom nom nom!

We pull back to reveal the TV station recording room full of laughing Shark Army Hammerhead guards. They are holding the actual news anchors hostage. The news anchors are terrified.

General # 2 is dressed in a dark blue lionfish outfit with a lighter blue cape resembling fins. She laughs along with the other Shark Army guards before taking a big sip from her smoothie cup.

Suddenly, the Fire Mech bursts into the studio through the wall, leaving a giant Fire Mech-shaped hole behind it. General # 2 spits out the smoothie she just drank. She angrily points at the Fire Mech.

GENERAL # 2: Get him!

The Hammerhead guards attack the Fire Mech. But the Fire Mech just lets loose a constant stream of fire at the guards, incidentally causing the rest of the studio to catch fire.

The two regular sharks jump up and bite on the Fire Mech’s flamethrower arms but after a brief flash of flame, they just turn black and charred with comical X marks for eyes. They drop off lifelessly. The fire spreads throughout the studio. When the Hammerhead guards realize they are inside a burning building, they decide to retreat.

GENERAL # 2: Wait! Where are you going? Cowards!

General # 2 slams her smoothie cup down on the table.

GENERAL # 2: Do I have to do everything myself?

General # 2 pulls out her swordfish sword and attacks. Kai maneuvers the Fire Mech into a battle stance. General # 2 runs up to the Fire Mech but instead of directly attacking it, she grabs the nearby video camera which is still recording live and points it at the Fire Mech. Kai cuts his attack short and instead, instinctively puts the Fire Mech in a dramatic pose.

KAI: Make sure to get my good side!

GENERAL # 2: Oh I will!

General # 2 runs up to the Fire Mech and strikes at its now vulnerable side with her swordfish sword. Kai is taken by surprise but quickly realizes the general isn’t doing any real damage. General # 2 keeps hacking away to no avail.

GENERAL # 2: What is this? It’s like it’s not even sharp!

General # 2 pauses and looks at her plastic Lego swordfish sword in disbelief. Kai seizes the moment to shoot a volley of flames at her. Now on fire, General # 2 lets go of the Fire Mech. She expertly drops to the ground and rolls to extinguish the flames. She angrily gets back up, slightly singed but otherwise unharmed. She runs to the wall and grabs a fire extinguisher.

When the Fire Mech shoots flames at her, General # 2 counters with the non-Lego foam from the fire extinguisher. They exchange several blasts and appear evenly matched.

General # 2 jumps onto the Fire Mech and climbs right in front of Kai’s cockpit. She sprays fire extinguisher foam all over the glass screen, obscuring Kai’s vision.

KAI: What the heck?!

General # 2 then jumps down and goes to the fire hose cabinet on the wall. She takes the hose and runs around the Fire Mech’s legs, tying them up. She then goes to the table where the shark’s literal anchors were left behind. General # 2 takes the anchors and hurls them toward the Fire Mech, hitting it directly and toppling it over.

General # 2 stands triumphantly. Kai grapples with the controls, causing the Fire Mech to jerk around violently. In its struggle, it pulls the fire hose towards it. This unhinges the fire hose cabinet from the wall. The cabinet swings and hits General # 2 squarely on the head, knocking her out.

Kai jumps out of the cockpit and ties up General # 2 with the fire hose. He then grabs her forgotten smoothie cup and runs up to the video camera.

KAI: Today’s broadcast was brought to you by “Smooth Moves”...

EXT. NINJAGO CITY PROPER - DAY

The live feed from the TV station is playing on a giant jumbotron.

KAI (CONT’D): Ninjago’s Number 1 energy drink!

Several civilians cheer over the Red Ninja’s victory.

INT. TV STATION - DAY

KAI: Hashtag Red Ninja!

Kai goes back to the Fire Mech and wipes the foam off his cockpit screen then jumps in.

KAI: You’re welcome!

Kai waves at the now free TV anchors. He then pilots the Fire Mech to exit the TV station via the giant Fire Mech-shaped hole in the wall.

TV ANCHOR # 1: Wait! The studio is still on fire!

Kai speaks into his communicator.

KAI: Silver, where’s that back up?

NYA: Incoming, bro!

The Water Strider makes its way to the TV station. It pops into the Fire Mech-shaped hole and puts out the fire with its water canons.

EXT. NINJAGO CITY PROPER - DAY

The giant jumbotron shows Nya putting out the fire.

NYA: Sorry about the mess.

We pan away from the jumbotron and shift our focus to the Ice Tank. It shoots ice volleys at Crab Crawler and Piranha Walkers, freezing them in place. The Ice Tank reaches the Stock Exchange building and Zane expertly parallel parks the Ice Tank in front of it.

He jumps out of the cockpit and heads toward the building entrance. As the White Ninja, Zane does not have a regular walk cycle. Instead, he moves as though he has wheels under his feet.

Zane enters the building then immediately exits. He returns to the parking meter where the Ice Tank is parked at and deposits a flat Lego stud coin into it. Zane goes back into the building.

INT. STOCK EXCHANGE - DAY

Zane enters a wide, open room full of computer screens and terminals. The screens show numbers and arrows. General # 3 and his soldiers are at the center.

General # 3 is wearing an anglerfish uniform. He is surrounded by Great White Shark soldiers. They have been waiting for Zane.

ZANE: Shark army! I’m here to freeze your assets!

One of the Great Whites chuckles to himself.

GREAT WHITE # 1: Hehe. He said “assets.”

GENERAL # 3: (to Great White # 1) You’re an asset! (to everyone else) Great White Squadron, get him!

General # 3 points at Zane. At his order, the Great Whites run towards Zane.

ZANE: Switching to “Game Face” mode.

Beneath Zane’s mask, his face rotates and is replaced by a more serious expression. We hear a whirring sound as he does this.

The instrumental version of the Weekend Whip by The Fold begins playing.

[SONG: Weekend Whip by The Fold]

A pair of shuriken materialize in Zane’s hands and he gracefully skates towards the Great Whites. This is the closest thing we get to a walk cycle for the White Ninja. We then go into an epic, single take, tracking shot of Zane taking out the Great Whites.

Zane skates around effortlessly, weaving in and out of the Great White ranks and avoiding their attacks. Each move is precise and calculated. He moves like an Olympic figure skater. He occasionally throws the shuriken to pin his enemies to the wall. But every time he does this, a new pair of shuriken materialize out of thin air to replace them.

We get to the chorus part of the Weekend Whip and The Fold sings this part.

[Just jump up, kick back, whip around and spin And then we’ll jump back, do it again] Two Great White soldiers attack Zane at the same time. One attacks in front of him. The other attacks from behind. Zane instinctively jumps up and does a split kick, hitting both Great Whites at the same time. He calls out his attack as he does this.

ZANE: Swooping Hawk!

[Ninja Go! Ninja Go!] Zane strikes at more Great Whites but soon he is surrounded. General # 3 and the Great Whites close in on Zane, leaving him no space to skate.

[Come on, come on! We’re gonna do it again!] At the center of a sea of Great Whites, Zane performs a pirouette. He twirls, striking at anyone who comes too close. He now uses his shuriken as melee weapons.

[Just jump up, kick back, whip around and spin] Zane spins, gaining speed and momentum. The Great Whites become apprehensive about attacking him. Zane continues spinning faster and faster and FASTER until finally...

SHIIINNG!!!

[And then we’ll jump back, do it again] Zane successfully creates a SPINJITZU TORNADO.

GENERAL # 3: What are you all waiting for? Attack him! He can’t take us all at once!

[Ninja Go! Ninja Go!] With renewed vigor, the Great Whites attack Zane together, attempting to overwhelm him with their numbers. But as they try to close in on Zane, the moment they so much as touch Zane’s Spinjitzu Tornado, they get knocked back violently.

[Come on, come on! And do the Weekend Whip!] The Great Whites get thrown across the room. They slam against the walls, along with General # 3. This continues until the very last Great White is flung across the room. With all his enemies defeated, Zane slows to a stop and drops to the ground.

Zane is visibly exhausted. Sustaining a Spinjitzu Tornado drains a lot of his power and energy. He will need to recharge soon. But he remains defiant.

ZANE: Who’s (whirring noise) the Greatest (whirring noise) White, now?

The background music dies down.

Now that the Great Whites have been defeated, a stocks lady decides it is safe to come out of her hiding place. She runs toward the fallen Zane.

STOCKS LADY: Thank you, White Ninja! But please, you have to get up!

Zane struggles to get on his feet again and the stocks lady helps him up.

Zane looks up and sees the screens all around him. They have arrows pointing down and the numbers are declining in value. Zane’s job is not yet done. He needs to fix this and he knows what to do.

ZANE: I need to reboot the system.

The stocks lady guides Zane to the main computer terminals. Zane plugs himself in, restoring some of his energy. He starts typing on the keyboard and initiates a full system reboot to fix the system. After a few seconds, the reboot is successful and the screens start showing arrows pointing up. The numbers start growing in value too.

But behind Zane and the stocks lady, General # 3 slowly crawls towards them. He is in no shape to fight but he is not about to give up just yet. He pulls out a multiple stud shooter gun. He carefully aims at Zane’s back and fires.

The stud strikes Zane directly on the back and bounces off harmlessly. Zane’s entire head automatically rotates 180 degrees and glares at the guilty general. The rest of Zane’s body is still facing the terminal. The stocks lady screams and runs off again.

Zane unplugs himself and turns the rest of his body to face the general.

GENERAL # 3: What the heck?

Zane moves slowly towards the general. He looks very intimidating due to the serious, unflinching expression on his face and lack of a natural walk cycle.

General # 3 keeps on shooting at Zane but stud after stud just bounces off harmlessly. As the last stud leaves the stud shooter, General # 3 desperately keeps pulling the trigger resulting in empty clicking noises. In a panic, General # 3 chucks the stud shooter gun at Zane. It smacks Zane in the face but he doesn’t even react.

GENERAL # 3: (SHOUTING) YOU’RE INHUMAN!

ZANE: Correction. I am human... And so much more.

We see from the POV of General # 3. Zane materializes a shuriken in his hands and strikes at the general to knock him out.

CUT TO WHITE.

FADE INTO: EXT. NINJAGO SKYLINE - DAY

Jay flies on his Lightning Jet as he tries to find a balloon store. The CLEAR SKIES are completely devoid of clouds. Suddenly, several Manta Ray Bombers are on his tail.

LLOYD: Jay, you've got bogeys on your six.

NINJA COMPUTER: You've also got them on your three, one, seven, five, six, eight, nine, and two.

JAY: What?!

Jay speeds up his jet to get away from the bombers. But suddenly, he spots an actual non-Lego balloon.

Formulating a plan, Jay narrows his eyes and flips a few switches on his console.

JAY: Switching to autopilot.

Jay puts the Lightning Jet on autopilot, moving in the direction of the balloon. Jay jumps out of the jet and onto the balloon. The jet flies off but the Manta Ray Bombers follow the jet.

Jay takes off his Lego hairpiece. He puts his hair to the balloon and starts rubbing.

JAY: Come on, charge! Charge!

The jet makes a u-turn and doubles back towards the balloon. Jay rubs his hair on the balloon more vigorously.

JAY: Hurry up! Charge, charge, charge!

The Manta Ray Bombers make a u-turn and double back to follow the jet. Jay’s voice sounds increasingly more and more panicked.

JAY: Charge! Hurry up! Charge, charge!

The Lightning Jet passes Jay by harmlessly. The shark army soldiers follow quickly behind. Jay places his hairpiece back on his head.

JAY: CLEAR!!

Jay unleashes a devastatingly powerful burst of lightning at the Manta Ray Bombers. The vehicles explode in mid air.

The Lightning Jet returns to Jay, who jumps back onto it. The mechanical claw extends out of the Lightning Jet and grabs the balloon. Jay tugs the balloon and brings it to the crying kid.

JAY: Hey kid, don’t cry! Here’s a new balloon!

KID: Yay! Thanks Blue Ninja!

The kid takes balloon by the string. Jay leaves. The balloon begins lifting the kid up into the air.

KID: Wait, how do I get down?

CUT TO: EXT. CAFE - DAY

In the midst of all the chaos, the Quake Mech stands in front of an upturned table. Behind it, a kid can be seen floating away on a non-Lego balloon.

The Quake Mech reaches down with its massive arm and slowly and carefully flips the table back upright.

We go to a close up shot of Cole. He has a peeved look on his face as his maneuvers the Quake Mech. He mutters under his breath.

COLE: Typical.

Cole looks outside his soundproof cockpit. All background noises are coming from his communicator. Cole sees all the other Ninja pulling off more impressive missions in their respective Mechs.

Cole looks down at his console. He narrows his eyes and deliberately switches off his communicator. He no longer hears any of the chaos going on outside. Cole hears utter silence. He takes off his headphones and speaks.

COLE: Screw this! From now on, I do what I want!

Cole maneuvers the Quake Mech to flip the table over again. The Quake Mech turns to leave but stops short. Cole grumbles. The Quake Mech turns back and gently places the table in an upright position. Then the Quake Mech leaves.

CUT TO: EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP - DAY

The Green Dragon Mech roars as it flies by a building rooftop swarming with Shark Army soldiers. Lloyd flips a few switches on his console.

LLOYD: Switching to autopilot.

The Green Dragon Mech turns a curve around the rooftop, allowing Lloyd to jump off and land on the rooftop. Armed with his broadsword, Lloyd slashes away at the droves of Pufferfish soldiers and Jellyfish warriors.

Lloyd sees Garmadon’s Shark Mech in the distance. Lloyd first tries to clear the rooftop before making his way to his father.

EXT. NINJAGO CITY STREET - DAY

We go to a close up of Garmadon. He is talking to a general.

GARMADON: What do you mean Generals 1 to 3 have been captured? Uugghh fine!

Garmadon shouts an order on his megaphone.

GARMADON: General Number Four, Attack the Bridge of Orphans, Puppies and Persons With Disabilities!

We then see a split screen shot reaction of all the Ninja. Cole is in the shot but he doesn’t have any reaction since he doesn’t hear Garmadon’s announcement. He’s just busy doing his own thing.

ALL NINJA (EXCEPT COLE): OH NO! NOT THE BRIDGE OF ORPHANS, PUPPIES AND PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES!

JAY: I used to live there!

KAI AND NYA: WE ACTUALLY STILL LIVE THERE!!!

ZANE: I do not technically live but that is also my place of residence.

CUT TO: EXT. THE BRIDGE - DAY

We see a wide bridge that connects several buildings together. It is the same area as the “Bridge of Puppies” from the past but The Bridge has since been greatly expanded. There is a sign that now reads “Bridge of Orphans, Puppies and Persons With Disabilities”.

At the center of The Bridge is a new Lego brick-built statue of a dog. Beside it is a new statue of Cyrus Borg holding aloft a Techno Blade. Beneath the statue is a plaque with the Borg Industries logo that reads “Protect those who cannot protect themselves. --- Cyrus Borg”.

Around The Bridge are several Borg Industries display screens for announcements and advertisements. Now, they show a female android with silver hair, a white face with purple lines of circuitry and bright green eyes. This is PIXAL. She speaks in a female digital voice that is identical to the Ninja Computer voice heard in the Secret Ninja Warehouse and over Jay’s Lightning Jet Communicator.

PIXAL: All residents of The Bridge, please evacuate to the designated shelters immediately. A Garmadon attack is imminent.

We see a shot of many injured civilians and children running towards the shelters. But the dogs and puppies are too panicked to head for the shelters. One small boy on a wheelchair and wearing a purple ninja-looking outfit tries coaxing the puppies to follow him. This is LIL’ NELSON.

LIL’ NELSON: Who’s a good boy who doesn’t want to get shot by Garmadon’s bombs? All of you are! Even the girls! Now, come on! But the dogs and puppies won’t listen to him.

CUT TO: EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP - DAY

Lloyd frantically cuts down more Pufferfish soldiers as he desperately tries to make his way to get on his Green Mech Dragon to stop Garmadon’s attack on The Bridge. Based on where he assigned the other Ninja, he knows none of them are near enough to intercept the attack.

LLOYD: No! No! No! No!

Lloyd executes a backhand slashing motion, triggering a flashback.

MATCH CUT TO: FLASHBACK - EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP - DAY

A much younger, evil Lloyd slashes a disgraced Shark Army General across the chest in a similar move. Lloyd has red eyes like his father.

We go to a wide shot of Lloyd, Garmadon, and several Shark Army soldiers on a rooftop similar to the one in the present.

LLOYD: And that’s how you gut a fish.

Garmadon claps with all four hands.

GARMADON: Excellent swordsmanship, Luh-loyd!

LLOYD: Thanks Dad!

The disgraced general starts flopping around in the background like a fish.

GARMADON: And now for presents!

Garmadon claps again.

A couple of Shark Army soldiers carry in a large box and place it in front of Lloyd. They then drag away the disgraced general.

GARMADON: Happy Birthday, Luh-loyd!

Lloyd opens the box and gasps. Inside the box is a non-Lego laser pointer.

GARMADON: I call it the “ULTIMATE WEAPON”.

LLOYD: Wow! Cool!

GARMADON: Go on, kid. Test it out!

Lloyd grabs the Ultimate Weapon and presses the button on it without really aiming at anything. An incredibly powerful red laser beam shoots out of it and hits a building, causing the building to explode in a massive fireball.

LLOYD: Woah!

GARMADON: Now, let’s work on target practice. Try over there!

Garmadon points at the newly constructed Bridge of Orphans, Puppies and Persons With Disabilities. There is a statue of Cyrus Borg and a statue of a giant dog at the center of The Bridge.

PIXAL can be seen in her full physical body. She is pushing a wheelbarrow of brown Lego stud dog food. Many puppies flock to her, ready for lunchtime.

GARMADON: You know, back in my day, they used to call this the “Bridge of Puppies” until I burned down all the orphanages. Then they relocated all the orphans here.

Lloyd has a menacing grin as he aims the laser pointer at the statue of Cyrus Borg. The shot is framed in such a way that is identical to how the bullies wanted to shoot Lloyd with spitballs in a previous scene.

GARMADON: Open fire!

The flashback ends.

MATCH CUT TO: PRESENT - EXT. NINJAGO CITY STREET - DAY

GARMADON: Open fire!

Several Manta Ray Bombers release their payload of missiles in the direction of The Bridge.

EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP - DAY

LLOYD: Noooooo!!!

[americanvanequipment]

5 Must-Have Accessories for Your Work Truck

Car companies and vehicle manufacturers like Nissan, Ford, Chevrolet, Dodge, and Mercedes offer their customers a plethora of options. You would be spoiled for choice whenselecting a work truck for your business needs. However, it is important to remember that while most vehiclesappear to be great, you would still need to customize them to ensure they fulfill the role of the “mobile workplace” you so desire. Choosing the right accessories for your work truck helpsyou to setup your mobile workplace perfectly.

Accessoriesfor work trucks and cargo vans are fittings and fixtures that you can use to equip your vehicle with the means to handle your day-to-day operations efficiently.Depending on your unique needs,there is a huge range of accessories from which to choose. These include ladder racks, racks and holders for power tools, storage cabinets and lights, etc.

If you are on the lookout for accessories for your work truck, this article is for you!

1.    No Power, No Business!

Investing in a lightweight, ultra-compact power inverter is necessary for mobile businesses today. After all, you will need a substantial amount of power to fire up your business tools, power equipment, phones, laptops, saws, drills, and other items. American Van offers the most efficient power inverters and generators.Then come with versatile mounting options that make it easy for you to charge and operate your equipment.

2.   Safety Comes First!

Operating your business out of a moving vehicle is hard enough – donot make it harder by ignoring safety and security. It is essential to have triangle reflectors, traffic cones, fire extinguishers, searchlights, and a complete first aid kit in your vehicle to ensure that you are equipped for any kind of emergency or breakdown. In addition to these van and truck safety accessories, it is also important that your driver and employees feel safe while they use the vehicle to mount or unload equipment. You can consider installing grab handles and retractable steps to make their jobs easier and safer.

3.   Storage and Shelving Units for Your Precious Tools

Nowadays, you will find several smart storage options that allow you to safely stow away your tools and supplies. American Van carries a wide selection of state-of-the-art lockable upright cabinets, drawers, storage bins, trays, racks, and more. Click here to browse through the tool storage accessories we provide.

4.   Organized Lighting for Your Work Truck

It is vital that you have optimal interior lighting in your work vehicle so you can work efficiently at any time of the day. Illuminating the cargo area of your work vehicle can enable you to improve the visibility of items you have stored in the shelves and bins, and also make it easier for you to operate your tools. You can choose appropriate lighting based on how you stack your storage accessories in your work truck. LED spotlights, floodlights, halogen work lights, and standard dome lights are some of the most sought-after lighting options.

5.   Anti-Skid Mats for the Cargo Area

Rubber floor mats are another popular work truck accessory. They protect the floor of your van from scratches and dents, especially since there is a risk of things falling or moving while the vehicle is being driven from one place to the other. With a raised diamond pattern and anti-skid properties, high-quality rubber mats help prevent loads from shifting. The best part about work van mats is that they can be customized and trimmed according to the layout and requirements of any van.

So, there you have it. According to experts, these are the most essential accessories that every truck or van owner must consider installing in their work vehicles. Apart from these five categories, you can also explore tie-downs (clamps and straps), roof vents, additional mirrors, and video and camera systems.

Call 800-526-4743 to place your orders or shop online for accessories from American Van.

[jxpper]

I’m Sure They’re Fine

Joyce and Hopper are going out on their first date night alone. Of course, the parents weren’t too keen on leaving Will, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, Jane, and Max with Steve to babysit. The parents only asked one thing of the group - Don’t burn the house down!

Rated T for Language and other things implied

2.2k words

Six months without a single date. Joyce and Hopper had hit every base necessary to their relationship, hugs, kisses, much more intimate moments, along with arguments and more. But not once did they ever go out on an official date night out,

That was until the night of December 18th, 1985. Joyce had managed to find a wearable black dress in the bottom of her closet. She was surprised that it even fit since she hadn’t worn it since junior year of high school.

Hopper finally shed out of the beige police uniform for something a little more comforting. Black pants with a green button up shirt, and a groomed face. At least he didn’t cringe in the mirror.

Jonathan already had standing plans with Nancy when Hop and Joyce agreed to a spontaneous date. The two nervous parents agreed that Steve Harrington would be the best option for babysitting…saying that ever so loosely. The truth was, he was their only option.

They didn’t mind him alone to watch the kids when the frantic moments of demon possession and gate closing came along – until they found a sedated Billy on the floor and a frozen demodog in the freezer. But tonight would be different, hopefully. No demons, no demogorgons, no anesthetized assholes, just a fun night for everybody.

Luckily, Steve had arrived at the Byers’ house with a car full of kids, as usual. Dustin, Lucas, Mike, and Max had arrived for a night with Will and Jane.

Both Joyce and Hopper agreed her house would be safer grounds for Jane to stay rather than the Wheelers’ home. Still being careful about where she goes and with who, Hopper knew that it was easier for everybody.

“Damn, Mrs. Byers! Got a hot date tonight?” Dustin knowingly joked, earning him a smack from Lucas and a playful glare from Joyce.

As the boys argued over whether that was too ‘presumptuous’ or not, Joyce gathered her keys and cigarettes into her purse. She wanted to yell at Hopper for being late when there was still five minutes until he was supposed to show up.

Part of her was so nervous that she wanted to get it over with already. The other part was just her anxiety trying to come up with reasons why they shouldn’t go. Joyce continued her attempts to override her panic as she waited for Hopper.

A partial knock sounded at the door before Hopper stepped in with Jane in tow.

“Joyce! Hopper said you’d ’look like a snack’ but I don’t know what that means. But you do look good though!” Jane laughed as she hugged Joyce. He must not have realized he was talking out loud when he ran over this date in his mind.

“I didn’t say that! She sure uh… she sure has a colorful imagination.” Hopper mumbled with a nervous groan as he nudged his daughter off to the party.

“Well, you’re looking pretty dapper yourself.” Joyce smiled as she adjusted the collar of his shirt. “Are you ready to go?”

“More than you’ll ever know.” Hop chuckled as he kissed her forehead. “You look stunning by the way.” She looked less like a snack and more like a three-course meal with dessert.

“Thanks, it’s nothing really.” She lied right through her teeth. It had taken almost an hour and an entire bottle of cleaner to scrub the vomit stain out from the ‘58 winter formal. Karen had added a little bit too much schnapps into her drink and Joyce was left to carry the sick teen home.

“Alright, pizza will be here in an hour. Do not stay up past 11:30, alright? I’ll call and check on you if I’m not home by then. The roads are nasty so no leaving either. Please don’t burn the house down while we’re gone.” Joyce looked around for confirmation of the group.

“Alright, bye.” Joyce kissed the top of Will’s head before Steve assured her he had it under control. She didn’t believe him for a second but Hopper had rushed her out before any other argument.

From the house to the restaurant, their conversation was built around how their day went. Jim could tell that Joyce was clearly nervous about leaving the kids alone in her house, but he didn’t want that to ruin their night.

As Hop pulled into a parking space and turned the car off, he rested his hand on her knee. "I’m sure they’re alright.“ He said with a comforting smile. It had only been fifteen minutes, what was the worst that could’ve happened?

“You put that lighter down right now Dustin James Henderson or so help me God!” Steve yelled as he chased the fourteen-year-old around. Dustin ran through the halls laughing as the flame from the lighter billowed.

Hopper opened the restaurant door for Joyce as they walked in. His hand on her back certainly calmed her down but not enough to stop worrying.

“Reservation for two, under Hopper.” He nodded and the hostess grabbed their menus. They were in the fanciest Italian restaurant that the next town over had to offer. Jim had certainly gone all out on this one.

“Wow, Hop. This is really out of our ballpark of Doritos and beer at midnight during Golden Girls reruns.” Joyce joked as he pulled her chair out for her.

“You deserve it, Joyce. It’s been a rough couple of years. You deserve a nice night out.” Hop replied as he glanced around their table. This was the first time in months that he would be eating with actual silverware..

“Thank you, I really appreciate all of this,” Joyce said with a soft smile while she opened her menu.

The worry of leaving the kids home had caught up with Jim while he looked over the wine menu. Did he really trust seven kids home alone while he and Joyce ate steak?

“Jane! Stop trying to lift the lighter out of his hand! If he drops it, the whole house is gonna go down!” Steve yelled as Jane continued trying to move the flame out of her friend’s hand. Obviously, Dustin was doing this to get a rise out of Steve, but it was just getting annoying.

“I’m sure the kids are fine.” Joyce and Hopper mumbled in unison as the worries continued to plague their nice evening.

As the waiter came and went with their order, Joyce nervously swirled her wine glass. “Should I call them and just make sure they’re okay?”

“If it will make you feel better, they’re probably just playing video games and eating pizza.” Hop tried to comfort her when he was actually trying to comfort himself.

“I think I’ll call, just for peace of mind.” Joyce murmured before excusing herself. As she made her way to the payphone outside, she fished a quarter out of her purse.

“Shut the fuck up, everybody! The phone is ringing!” Steve snapped as Lucas yelled at Dustin for swinging the lighter in the air.

“Steve?” Joyce asked nervously as the phone clicked on.

“Joyce, everything alright?” Steve asked. It was evident from her voice that she was antsy and nervous.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? How are things going?” Joyce asked as she lit a cigarette.

“Everything is fine.” Steve lied nonchalantly. Dustin was running through the house with a flaming lighter, Jane was trying to use her powers to stop him, Lucas and Max were yelling for him to stop, while Mike and Will screamed over the Atari.

“Al-alright… Hop and I are gonna finish up here. We will be home soon. Make sure everybody cleans up the pizza plates.” As Joyce continued to prolong the conversation, she carefully listened for any signs of distress in the household.

“Will do, Mrs. B. Enjoy yourself tonight. We’re all just hanging out.” Steve’s voice sounded like a smile but truthfully he was plotting Dustin’s death with each passing second.

“Alright bye.” Even with a reassuring call ended, Joyce didn’t feel the slightest bit better about the situation.

“Everything alright at the house?” Hopper asked as Joyce trailed back into the restaurant.

“Yeah, Steve said they were all doing alright,” Joyce replied as she slid back into her seat.

“Joycie, they’ve been home alone a million times. I’m sure it’s gonna be okay.” Hop rubbed his thumb over her hand as he searched for recognition in her eyes.

“They’ve never been alone altogether, not like this at least. Just motherly instincts, you know?” She asked with a sip of wine and a bite into her food.

“I understand. The first few weeks that Jane was at the cabin, I thought I was going insane with the idea of leaving her alone. If anything, I’m sure Will is holding down the fort.” Hopper smiled.

“The fire extinguisher is in the cabinet next to the stove! No! The other side of the stove!” Will shouted as Steve riffled through the kitchen.

“Yeah, he’s always been the adult of the group, in my opinion, him and Mike at least. I’m sure it’s nothing.” Joyce laughed as she hooked a green bean on her fork.

“Pull the pin to make it work you, you idiot! You have to pull the pin!” Dustin shouted as Steve fussed with the fire extinguisher.

“This is all your fault! If you weren’t being a squirrely ass with the lighter, trying to be a dick, this wouldn’t have happened!” Steve shouted back before the extinguisher gushed with white foam.

“Yeah, it’s Henderson I’m worried about. Trouble just seems to follow that kid like it’s his shadow.” Hopper finally managed to make Joyce full-blown laugh. It was nice to see her smile nowadays. Even as the grin became more frequent, Hopper didn’t want to take it for granted. There had been too many days where that smile wasn’t even a thought.

The nervous pool in her stomach was growing again and much more rapidly. Joyce’s smile was defeated with a frown while her foot tapped anxiously.

“I’m sure they’re fine. What’s the worst that could happen?” She asked, trying to reassure herself it was all fine.

“Jesus H Christ! How dry is this Christmas tree?” Steve groaned as the tree seemed to become more and more enveloped in flames with each moment passing.

“I’ll get a bucket of water!” Dustin shouted as he ran off to the kitchen.

“Unplug the tree lights first!” Max shouted just as Dustin was about to dump the pail of water onto the tree.

“They can’t do much. It’s not like they could burn the house down.” Just as the words escaped Hopper’s mouth, they both felt a welt of worry grow in their guts. Their nervous glances met and no words were needed.

“I’ll pay the tab, you go pull the truck around.” Hopper tossed her his keys and she jet-packed out the door. Hopper chucked a couple Jackson’s on the table and ran out to the blazer.

“Let’s just call 911, they can come and put it out before they get home!” Mike suggested as the flames on the tree grew bigger.

“The chief is gonna kill us!” Lucas groaned nervously while Max ran to the phone to call 911.

Hopper had to admit one of the sexiest things he had ever seen was Joyce Byers in a black dress and in the driver’s seat of his blazer. That was definitely going into his bank of perfect memories.

As they drove through the dark and snowy roads, Hopper flipped on the lights and left Joyce to drive faster.

Hitting the outskirts of Hawkins, Joyce heard what sounded like a firetruck coming from the west.

“Dear God.” Hopper groaned as he rubbed his face with his palms.

“You don’t think?” Joyce asked nervously as she floored the gas.

“No, it can’t be. Just a coincidence.” His words were, of course, no solace to either of the worried parents.

When the police blazer finally touched the road the Byers’ house resided on, Hop and Joyce both saw the firetruck heading towards her house.

“For fuck’s sake!” They both groaned angrily. “I swear to God, Hop. They burned my house down.” Joyce didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the irony.

Pulling into the driveway, she saw three firefighters carrying a scorched tree out of her house. Seven teenagers stood outside shamefully as one of the firefighters was clearly chastising them.

“What on God’s green earth happened?” Hopper shouted as the two of them shot out of the blazer.

Six of them looked over at Dustin with a furious expression. No words were needed to explain that Henderson had caused the uproar.

Joyce groaned inwardly before collapsing into Hopper. Rubbing her back shamefully, Jim looked around at the worried faces of the teens.

“The tree was the only damage. Once we got in here, we were able to put it out. You got lucky this time.” The fire chief nodded towards Hopper as if they were having a mental conversation.

“Alright. I think we can both agree that Doritos, beer, and Golden Girls reruns are our best bet from now on.” Hopper joked, causing Joyce to laugh with shame.

“Not for a second was I sure that they would be fine." 

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.

One of the things that has made us a successful species is our ability to wield fire. Getting a fire started and variations to make them efficiently and specific to purpose have huge benefits in survival settings and off-grid, no- or low-power scenarios.

Some of the information out there gets used and passed along without a lot of consideration to the conditions, though. I think sometimes we’re just looking for a DIY or a “craft”, especially if we’re on a tight budget, and don’t really test or think it through before we go whole hog. Sometimes we’re overlooking something even more compact or versatile. Sometimes, having two parts to a whole still separated has a lot of value.  And sometimes, I rarely even see the most effective helpers mentioned.

Candles v. Waxed Dryer Lint

One of the things I see constantly is using dryer lint (and makeup pads) for fire starting. It regularly makes me crazy. It’s just that it’s not the be-all fire starter – alone, or with the addition of wax – that it’s made out to be.

Hey, I have some. Bags, front seat of truck, grill kits. Plain lint can be enormously helpful for catching a spark … if you also have other tinder ready and waiting.

The lint (and cardboard) catch first. Lint is a smoldery or flare-up catch, depending on your laundry. The amount and type of cardboard used around the lint extends the burn time a little.

They don’t actually burn long enough to “catch” charcoal, arctic stove bricks, or most kindling sticks, especially in wet or windy weather. You still largely need a feather stick, twisted wads of paper or cardboard, dry grasses, or hen-of-the-woods innards – the same tinder sources you’d use to nurture a spark or match if you didn’t have any handy fire starters.

It’s largely a waste of wax and time to make the “better” versions – where you pack an egg carton or muffin cups with your dryer lint and then pour melted candles, paraffin, or beeswax over them. Those versions are actually even tougher to get started with strikers, paper matches, and Bics, too.

You’ll have a lot more success getting fire helpers like wax cakes and the wax-dipped makeup pads started if you scuff them up good before lighting, even if they’re in cupcake wrappers or egg cartons or combined with cotton strings trimmed from clothing or used garden twine that are supposed to be helping you there.

I guess if you used a big chunk of the egg carton, not just one lobe, it would catch kindling directly. That’s not exactly portable and it requires a big stash of egg cartons for your doomsday or autumn-spring wood stove.

You can improve them – enormously, into something that will burn longer and hotter. Just add some wood shavings, fine chips, sawdust, or some pine cone bracts to the dryer lint. The thin wood is tinder, and dry pine cones are some of the best tinder-kindling to be had.

Even so, skip the wax. You don’t actually need it and it can get messy. Just smoosh it all into TP rolls or egg carton sections with your dryer lint, or snag small pine cones and wedge dryer lint into the gaps.

If you’re dead set on waxed versions, make doubly sure they’re in tight-sealing plastic baggies if they’re in your vehicle.

I carry un-waxed versions, but I also use tea lights and birthday candles a lot for campfires and bonfires. Those “gag” candles that don’t actually go out are a goldmine for a backpack and pill bottle kit.

My candles will typically burn long enough to dry out even damp tinders and kindling without issue. If it’s particularly damp and wet, if I’m particularly rushed to get a fire going, I’ll use both, a candle and a backup or emergency fire starter.

It’s just faster and easier. Plus, they’re a more versatile option.

If I need to be under a quickie shelter, I can still use my candles inside a can or a jar – for cooking, to very effectively take the damp or chill off a small space, for light. I can also use a match to light a tea light or birthday candle, and then light others from that stronger flame.

You lose those options when you melt your candles or paraffin into disks of tinder helpers.

Cotton, Vaseline & Foil

I like “foil fire nuggets” a lot. Again, it has to do with versatility. The petroleum jelly dipped cotton doesn’t run in our heat, and it doesn’t evaporate as fast or as much as hand sanitizer or stove alcohol. You can control how big a hole you create, and how much you pinch out, which affects how big of a flame you have – which impacts how long each burns for.

The foil provides “handles” for moving them, and can be shaped to help protect them from a draft or to reflect light one way or another. The foil also gives you a somewhat “safe” zone around your “candle” that increases the times and places it can be used.

They’re nice for starting fires, and they’re also nice as “candles”. Because they’re small and contained, they’re suitable for times you’re in a small shelter without a lot of room. Stick them in a metal or glass bowl or cup, and you can have light for 3-5 minutes.

They’re not as effective as something like a votive or 4-6” emergency candle for burning off some of the damp and warming a tiny space, but if you make them with two or three balls instead of just one, or set up a couple more, they have applications for getting inside and set up or drying out tinder and kindling.

Now, if you’re inclined to soak them in hand sanitizer, I’d say hold off. You can carry the two parts separately and just combine when ready. I’m also not high on waxed versions of cotton balls or tampons – again, unnecessary steps (and mess), more costly ingredients, single-purpose items, and the scuffing-up step before you use them. Without the foil, they also burn too fast to dry or ignite many kindling.

Oddball Fire Starters

If you’re looking for something else to help your fires along, check out your kitchen cabinets and the packets available at fast food restaurants and hotels when you get coffee.

I by total accident discovered that grits are enormously flammable when I sneezed and spilled half a tub across a flat-top electric stove. The grits hit the still-hot stove, and while the little isolated and single-layer bits just glowed and cindered and extinguished super fast, the grits that landed in lines and lumps went up like I’d been scraping magnesium. Some of the dials were actually deformed from the heat

(The glass stovetop recovered from this misadventure like a champ.)

The other oddball I pretty much never see is powdered coffee creamer. It comes courtesy of Mythbusters.

The “B” (better) team were doing one of their tests of viral videos, seeing if you really could create an enormous mushroom cloud with a sawdust cannon, and tested other whoosh! options. Carrie (I believe) tested coffee creamer.

Wow.

Creamer has benefits. It’s also a little scary. (Test this after it rains, peeps.) Like the magnesium rods we can scrape to add oomph to our sparks, powdered creamer is a flare-up kind of helper.

To say that a little goes a long way is an understatement. You only need a little bit at a time to help you – like, fractions of teaspoons amounts, especially if this is getting added to the surface of dryer lint.

Upside: This means a little jug goes a very long way. You won’t need much in each various kit, which makes it suitable for even tiny pill bottle or Altoids kits. It’s even less-expensive than grits, and even more resistant to damp surfaces while you’re making fires.

I cannot overstate the need to not have this blowing around dry grassy/leafy areas, your bag and tent, your hair if you use alcohol-containing products, or if the air is swirling and this might end up back in your face. Also, add fire to your creamer; do not be the many morons on YouTube who light fires and then pour the creamer on.

If you’re inclined to make those drinking straw kits, please be very conscientious of the fact that you use fire to melt the straw ends closed.

Feather Stick

One skill absolutely worth mastering, that will save an enormous amount of time and effort in starting a fire – and reviving it if it falters – is a feather stick. By peeling up curls of wood, you create kindling and tinder with excellent “catchability” and oxygen flow. You can also benefit by exposing the inner wood, which can be much dryer than small kindling sources after days of rain or snow melt.

You can make them out of whole raw sticks and branches, batoned branches, split logs, or pieces of junk timber and dimensional lumber. They’re pretty easy. Just remember the general safety rule of cutting away from yourself.

Parting Tip: Bring a Briquette

Keep 2-4 charcoal briquettes in your car kit, camping and kayaking kits, and your packs. Keep a tin of them handy for your rocket stove or fire pit. They weigh nearly nothing and they take up less space than those egg carton sections people love.

To use, stash one under your kindling with your tinder, inside your teepee or frame. You’ll need the tinder and kindling to get them going, but once you have, they generate a great deal of heat, and stay hot for a while.

Combined with a tin can, they can also help us carry fire from one location to another, or through part of a day. They can be used to help dry out kindling and smaller fuel wood, or to revive a fire without striking more sparks or matches. That’s especially useful if we’re out-out and we need that fire, when our hands are shaking (or mittened), in wet and windy conditions, and while we learn the nuances of banking a fire for the night.

Fire Starters

Getting a fire started can be a big advantage, but it’s really only the tip of the iceberg. How we build and feed that fire, where we position it, and what we combine it with impacts its effectiveness for heat, for cooking, and for signaling. Changes affect how long that fire will last, how much smoke it produces – and where that’s blowing – and how high the flames are reaching. In some situations, we’re also controlling how much light it gives off; looking for brightness, or limiting the visibility of the flames and-or the smoke.

Especially if we’re counting on fires when we take to the hills or for wilderness accidents, we need to know what is and isn’t actually going to work. So practice the whole process, dusk to dawn, not just sparking tinder.

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[v3-killing-harmony-imagines]

How bad would an evening go if an “i somehow burned water once” s/o tried to cook something alongside the boys?

 Nyahaha~! This was fun to write! i can relate tho, anon

- Mod Angie

Shuichi Saihara

You’ve been noticing bags under Shuichi’s eyes lately, and that he hasn’t been sleeping.

Last night, you peeked in his room and saw him at his desk, pen in hand, mumbling to himself and writing notes in his notebook. It must be a hard case for him to crack, if he doesn’t eat or get any sleep. You don’t bother the detective at all when he’s focusing like this.

But! You wanna make sure that he’s eating right, at least. Even if you got an F in cooking class for accidentally giving everyone food poisoning, if it’s for Shuichi, you’re gonna try your best!

After rummaging through cabinets looking for something with directions on it, you find a curry packet and decide to work with that! You two usually go out and eat or get fast food for dinner, but sometimes Shuichi cooks! You get out potatoes, carrots, and… is that all..?

The easiest thing is the rice! You put it in the pan with water and pop that baby in the rice cooker! It’s all good, and you got instructions for this curry right here!

Okay! So, you need 2 ½ cups of water, but you thought that was too much so you only put in 1 cup, and you’re cooking that water- wait, it’s boiling i think- that right now...oh fuck i forgot the veggies

You start chopping the vegetables vigorously while the water goes to a boil and Shuichi enters the kitchen, looking a little shook. He asks what you’re doing, and you tell him that you’re cooking dinner! It’s important that he eats too uwu

His face goes kinda pale, and he awkwardly laughs. “Hopefully this won’t end like last time…” He looked worried. You reassure him that you kinda know what you’re doing! He stays in the kitchen and helps cut and put the vegetables in the pan.

Okay, it’s time to… i think the packet is supposed to go in now? wait a minute… wasn’t the meat supposed to go in earlier>>????? Okay,, you just plop in both at once and bOOm!! Wait for that shit to cook and you got yourself a good curry dish!

You take this time to ask Shuichi what he was working on, and he goes in really deep and goes to show you who he thinks the suspect is! You both go to his room and he shows you his notes and-- OH FUCK IS THAT THE FIRE ALARM

he is screaming. you are screaming

the fucking meat is roasted and the whole pan is smoking

You take that shit and throw it in the sink and you’re both still screaming but things turn out ok in the end. even though you only have rice for dinner...

Rantaro Amami

Rantaro texted you this morning, and after some talking, he asked if you wanted to hang out and go on a date today (which usually means watching movies and cuddling on the couch). You said yeah, he can come over!

It's about an hour later, and he's sitting on the couch looking through movies, and you're looking for more movies on the shelves. "We really have watched every movie, hah..." He chuckles from the couch. You turn to him and ask if he wants to do something else?

He thinks for a minute and looks at you with a smirk on his face... "Do you wanna try cooking together?" You can feel the sweat on your cheek, and you chuckle. "Aha, that's funny... I don't really know how to cook, but sure, okay...!" You get up and grab your phone to search for a recipe.

You two go into the kitchen, and he jokes about making an avocado cake, since he himself gets called "avocado" a lot. It turns out that it's an actual recipe, and you refuse to cook anything else. There's a fuck ton of ingredients, but luckily, you have... 4 of the ingredients, out of 11.

You write down the ingredients you need on a sticky note and get in the car with him. It was raining really hard outside, so you had to rush so you wouldn't get soaked...

Going to the grocery store wasn't too interesting, but you two were completely soaked when you got home... You laughed for about 5 minutes straight when he placed a bag on the counter and said "At least the avocados aren't harmed... They got a bath!"

After getting towels and drying up, and """accidentally""" seeing Rantaro's abs when he was drying his hair, you set up the ingredients and start cooking!

Everything was better than you thought, with Rantaro helping. Both of you successfully made the batter and it looked good! Since he did most of the mixing, you decided to put the batter in the pan and plop it in the oven!

You've never worked a timer before, though... You set it for 30 minutes, and you think that it's working?? You high-five Rantaro and chill on the couch together for the next half-hour. The alarm you heard when you thought 30 minutes passed, was not the timer, though...

You both jolted up in a panic, and you could see that the oven was smoking. You quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher as Rantaro opened the windows, and when everything was solved... the charred brick in the oven probably wasn't edible anymore, and you found out that the timer was broken.

Rantaro chuckled a little and pulled out 2 pre-baked, packaged cupcakes from a grocery bag. He gave one to you and said that he had fun, even if the avocado cake got burnt. He got to spend time with you, and that's all that matters ♡

Korekiyo Shinguji

You woke up at 6 am this morning beside Korekiyo, and you immediately get up to get ready. It's his birthday, and you're really excited for what you have planned for this special day!

You had plans for today that involve cooking, and since you can't bake a cake, you decided that it was a better idea to cook long life noodles!!

You refuse to just buy a cake from the store, and you wanted his birthday to be interesting, so you decided to make something tastier than cake! You rush to the store and buy your ingredients, after finding a recipe for it online.

It was kind of difficult to find Asian-style wheat noodles, but the store did have them! They ended up having all of your ingredients, so you were really happy about that!

Korekiyo was awake by the time you got home, and you started cooking immediately !! You put on his cooking apron and he asks what you're doing...

"Well, since it is your birthday, I thought I could make it something you wouldn't forget!" You chuckled.

"Please, do try to not burn down the house..." He sighs and stays in the room while you try your best. You assure him that it'll be okay! Even if you don't really know how to cook!

After reading the recipe instructions on your phone, you read the instructions on your noodle package, and you were successful in cooking them after you had to ask Korekiyo for help lmao !!

You mix other ingredients together in a bowl, like the instructions told you, and then it says to let it sit for 10 minutes cooking in the pan. You kept an eye on the time, and showed Korekiyo a bunch of Youtube videos you thought were cool, while you wait !!

You realize you were a few minutes over 10 minutes, and you screamed when you entered the kitchen, and fell on your bum.

Korekiyo quickly went in, grabbed the non-water fire extinguisher, and the fire on the stove went out in a couple of seconds... holy shit what just ?? happened ??

You were sad that his birthday turned to a disaster, and his "cake" was completely destroyed, but he knelt down and stared at you...

"That definitely was something I shall not forget, but... Saving you is the best present I could ever ask for."

You could see the edges of his face mask turn up, and you smile as well. Today wasn't as tragic as you thought!

Kaito Momota

You were on your phone, chilling on the couch when you hear Kaito gasp really loudly from the other room.

He yells from the kitchen, “S/O WE GOTTA MAKE A DIY GALAXY PIZZA” and you’ve never been more disappointed in your life

You walk in the kitchen and he’s already ready to go, with an apron on and everything. You don’t remember why you got an apron, because neither of you can actually cook.

Last time he tried to cook actual food, the fire alarm went off, and the pan was smoking like crazy. And after that one incident where you tried cooking and the food lit on fire in the sink, you both decided that fast food was the better option for dinner.

and here we are

You both decided that you should try do most of the work, while Kaito gets the ingredients off of a youtube video he was watching.

Tomato sauce, cheese, and… uhm, we need dough. He mumbles a little and then tells you that he’s gonna go get the stuff at the store! He rushes out of the house and the kitchen goes quiet...

While he’s gone, you look at the ingredients he chose. You’re pretty sure this tomato sauce is expired by like, 2 years, but you know that if you tell him that, he’ll say “It still looks like tomato sauce, it’s fine!”

You know that the cheese isn’t expired yet because the only thing you two can cook without it being a fire hazard is nachos. Next to the cheese is food coloring, probably gonna be used for the galaxy color.

He comes home with that dough (and some glitter- for stars he says. you know it’s not edible) and you get started on the pizza! You prepare galaxy-ify the ingredients and he decorates! You pop it in the oven and he’s so excited !

After like, 10 minutes you take it out because it smelled so bad. You had to open all the windows of the house and take the corpse out of the oven.

the fucking food dye was smoking and it was bubbling black like something poisonous

Well, there goes the galaxy pizza, here’s a…. bubbling, probably poisonous burnt disc…

yeah, fast food seems like the better option...

Kokichi Ouma

It was just a calm evening when you suddenly screamed and started panicking.

You forgot that you had to go to a party tomorrow, and were asked to bring food. It’s 8 pm and you still have no clue on what thing you can cook that will turn out decent.

You wanted to convince the people there that you can cook, since they told you that you can’t… yeah, you’re screwed qwq

Ouma finds out about your predicament and helps you out! He finds a can of green beans you decide to work with that.

You googled a recipe to make them taste good and you’re going off of that. It just says to heat the beans and drain them, so I guess that means just plop them in a pan?? Uhm.. Okay, we got this.

It took you a couple of minutes, but you find a pan that you can cook in. Just a little dusting off, and you’re good!

You set up a pan and pour the whole can in, turning the heat on. You’re guessing that it’s supposed to cook for like, 10 minutes or so? You’re not sure??

You hear footsteps coming down the stairs while you set the timer for 10 minutes

Suddenly, Ouma runs in the kitchen, screaming??? You jump and the pan falls from the stove, and it falls on Ouma’s foot. He drops his phone and screams louder. poor bby qwq

You find out that he got a really rare item in the game he was playing, but now his foot is red from getting burned.

When he opens his eyes, they widen and he shouts “Fire!!”

?????? you look to see the carpet behind you, on fire.

You panic and quickly fill a bowl with water, and pour that shit on the burning carpet. It goes out, leaving behind a burnt oven mitt. Oven mitts can burn??

You realize soon after that you could’ve used the fire extinguisher instead of making the floor slippy, but you realize too late when you run to help Ouma. You slip and fall, bruising your arm pretty badly.

In the end, you both got your injuries treated and just decided to buy something already cooked at the store to bring. Not only do you have to explain why you brought a store-bought cake, you have to explain the bruise on your arm too, and why Ouma is limping. yeah, you’re screwed qwq

Kiibo

It was a lazy, rainy day and you two were cuddling on the couch, with nothing to do. You both were coming up with ideas other than just cuddling, rejecting them all. Everything was silent, other than the sound of rain hitting the windows, until Kiibo gasped a little and smiled wide.

“S/O, I want you to teach me how to cook!” sweet robot doesn’t know what’s coming,,

His eyes were sparkling like a kid in a candy store and you couldn’t say no..

You both go into the kitchen and you awkwardly look for something that you can cook. You offer teaching him how to cook a microwave meal and he insists on cooking something from scratch… oh god,,

After searching in the cabinets for a couple of minutes, you find a little box of macaroni. You have no idea how to cook this, but it’s better than trying to cook stir fry, or something.

You search up a recipe, and yikes… You might not have all the different types of cheeses in the recipe, but you have slices of cheese for making sandwiches and such, so that’ll do.

You two had to stop by the store to get more butter and… paprika ? That’s what it says in the recipe, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When you get home, you try your best to cook while Kiibo measures the ingredients! You had no idea how he was able to measure ¼ cups of butter, but you just went with it.

You were able to cook the macaroni, but making the rest was a trainwreck. Milk got all over the counter when you accidentally stirred too fast, and you improvised and used a glass bowl instead of a “casserole dish”. You still kept a smile! For Kiibo! He looked a little worried but that’s ok.

You made the mistake of thinking that it wasn’t cooked enough and you burnt it to a crisp… You were also cooking something else (melting butter, I think?) in the frying pan on top of the stove, and Kiibo was looking after it. You picked up the burnt mac and cheese from the oven and-OW!

You burned your hand and knocked the pan on the stove over, melted butter all over the floor along with burnt mac and cheese... Kiibo was screaming the whole time, mostly because you screamed when you burned your hand.

He was more worried about your health than the mess on the floor, and you luckily got the burn properly treated. You two clean up the kitchen and end up cuddling on the couch again.

If you two ever do that again, make sure to put on oven mitts before touching anything burnt...

Ryoma Hoshi (shoutout to levia from the discord server for helping me with this!! qwq)

It’s the day before a really important tennis match! It's probably the most important one of the season. Ryoma isn't too worried about most matches, but for this one, you can hear him saying that he's not as good as he used to be, and that he'll lose this one. You're kind of worried for him, so you try to find a way to bring up his confidence...

You wanna make sure that he has enough energy for tomorrow, so you decide to make dinner for him instead of just getting Mcdonalds or something.

Your eyes travel to the abandoned spaghetti package on the counter, one that you decided to cook one day, but gave up when you picked up the package...

Spaghetti is a good source of energy....right? Well, let's do it!

You pick up the package with determination, and you're ready to cook for Ryoma!

He notices your determined smile and your frilly apron, and walks over to observe... he says that he hasn't watched you cook before, and that he's just curious. You start cooking with him beside you!

Okay, so... you grab a big pot and put it on the stove and fill it with water, just like the directions said... you opened the spaghetti package and some of it fell onto the floor and snapped, but you got most of the noodles into the water. The noodles didn't really fit in the pot, but you think it's okay??

aaa just to be sure, you break up the noodles so that they'd fit in the pot... You turn up the heat and wait for the water to boil.

In the meantime, you decide to doodle and talk to Ryoma until you see the water bubbling... wait! The directions tell you to salt the water, and the salt is on the counter above the stove. Just reeaaach,,,, wait. "S/O--" Ryoma tries to warn you until you look down...

The frills on your apron went a little too close to the fire. You scream and there it goes off of your body, and into the sink. Not only that, the water somehow went over the edge of the pot and went all over the stove, and steam was everywhere around it...

After cleaning up and throwing away your apron, you sigh and make a sandwich in the morning, for him...

You tell him that you're sorry about last night, and that you just wanted to bring up his energy and maybe, his confidence, for this game. You wish him luck and hand him the sandwich.

He looks down at the sandwich and smiles. He gives a quick "Thank you.", puts the sandwich down for later, grabs his tennis racket, and walks onto the court with slight confidence...!

Gonta Gokuhara (i'm sorry in advance qwq)

"S/o, can Gonta learn how to cook for you??" Gonta said with sparkles in his eyes, holding a recipe that Kirumi let him borrow. You were flattered that he wanted to learn from you, and said that you're not good at cooking, but he insisted, saying that a gentleman should cook for his s/o... and you couldn't say no to that pure, determined face...

You took a closer look at the recipe. Waffles... you thought it was rather simple to make, and the kitchen already had the ingredients for it! You told Gonta that you can try teaching him, and he was excited! You got the right ingredients and measuring tools (you think,,>??) and started teaching him how to measure the ingredients, and how to mix them all together. It was all good so far, actually, and you were determined that things will turn out okay in the end! Just for shits and giggles, you put a few drops of blue food dye in the batter, and he said that it looked pretty :>

You grabbed the waffle iron after searching for it in the cupboards, dusted it off...and plugged it in! You told Gonta that it needs time to heat up, and then the batter can go in ! Also, that if it smokes, that means it's bad :v

He watched intently as you opened the waffle iron with an oven mitt and poured the batter in. You thought the expression he was making was really cute, and you couldn't help but giggle a little. The batter overflowed over the iron, but that would just make it fluffier, right? Right... owo"

You pressed the hot waffle iron down, and more batter flowed out of it, and all over the counter... You laughed awkwardly, and said that that's not supposed to happen,,,

You didn't know when to lift the iron back up, but it started smoking after a couple of minutes and you opened it in a panic, hoping that it didn't burn too much!! Gonta gasped and picked you up, saying that he'll protect you from the bad !! Pure boi...

He lets you down after you tell him that it's okay, and yeah, your blue waffles weren't really blue, but completely charred... they were still in the shape of waffles, tho! Aha... You told him that you're really sorry you couldn't really teach him, and that you're not good at cooking.

"It's okay, s/o! Gonta will ask Kirumi-san to teach Gonta and s/o to cook!!" He smiled wide and you gave him a hug. His hugs are always the best, aha... and now, you'll learn how to cook, together! You're excited for it!