rake-rake

[exopelagic]

WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE

[aprilias]

As a society I think we need to stop allowing men to have podcasts <3

[mariacallous]

Last year, the lead singer of The 1975, Matt Healy, managed to offend a whole lot of Gaelgoirí (Irish speakers) when he appeared to mock a fan’s name – Dervla – at a meet-and-greet.

Healy isn’t alone, though, when it comes to anglophone bafflement at Irish names. A recent study based on an analysis of Google searches revealed the words that British people have the most difficulty pronouncing. The names Aoife, Saoirse, Niamh and Siobhán occupy places in the top 10.

And it’s not exclusively a British problem: I always cringe watching US talkshows where the host quizzes their Irish guest (usually Saoirse Ronan) on the pronunciation of their and other Irish names.

I’ve heard every possible variation of my own name from non-Irish people. It’s not uncommon in Ireland; in secondary school, there were four Niamhs in my class. But I rarely come across an English person who is familiar with it, despite the proximity of our two countries.

In case you don’t know, it’s pronounced “Neev” or “Nee-av”, either is perfectly acceptable. The prefix Ní means “daughter of”. My surname is trickier, and has even tripped up a few Irish people; it can be translated as Herbert, and is pronounced “her-a-vard”.

When I was living in London, I quickly learned that saying Niamh at the counter in a coffee shop or over the phone to make a booking simply wouldn’t fly. This led to the invention of what I call my “Starbucks name”. Anything easily pronounceable with a simple spelling would do. Mia, Sophie and Rose were among my common aliases.

Speaking to others reveals a litany of similar experiences. Aoibhe Ní Shúilleabháin, a designer and teacher, spent two years at college in England having her name mispronounced and disrespected. (Her first name is pronounced “Ay-vah”.) More than one lecturer resorted to calling her “blondie”.

She tells me: “I was asked to say, ‘Three hundred and thirty three trees’” – a tongue-twister that does the rounds on TikTok – “more often than I was asked to repeat my name.” She recalls the lack of interest when she attempted to explain that Irish and English are different languages with different pronunciation rules.

Clearly, the sensitivities at play here are rooted in history: Ireland was colonised by the English and our national language was all but wiped out. A language revival began in earnest in the 19th century, but it’s never quite recovered. Ireland’s most recent census shows that about 40% of Ireland’s population can speak Irish. The English destroyed our language once before, so every little throwaway comment and scoff at our names hurts a little bit more – and ultimately becomes just tiresome. A handful of people even remark, “Oh! I didn’t know Ireland had its own language,” when I tell them about my name.

Writer Darach Ó Séaghdha is all too familiar with these difficulties. (The “rach” in Darach is pronounced like “Bach”, he says.)He hosted a podcast called Motherfoclóir, a podcast about the Irish language and culture, and whenever there were guests on with Irish names, “inevitably the episode would turn into group therapy”. There was one bad experience, he recalls, when he was told that his surname “looked like a wifi password”. But he decided to give his children Irish names, too. It’s a common trend, he says, “because parents with Irish names have been battle-hardened”.

Like the others I spoke to for this piece, writer and director Rioghnach (think “Ree-nock”)Ní Ghrioghair believes that a sense of superiority among English speakers is to blame for the constant mistreatment of Irish names. But she’s defiant. “We are going to scrutinise the British for any transgression regarding the pronunciation of our names,” and other things, she tells me, like British media claiming Irish actors as their own during awards seasons.

There is no easy crash-course I can give to you on the pronunciation of Irish names, but you can always try out “how to pronounce”-style websites (which themselves can be contested). But the simplest and most reliable solution is perhaps just to politely ask an Irish person – and listen attentively to what they say. I may have accepted that English people are very rarely going to get my name right on the first go, but I appreciate a well-intentioned effort. Just don’t laugh at it, please.

[goldfades]

★ RIZZLER P ─── PB⁵ (part 2/2)

౨ৎ ─ summary | part one -> y/n is a youtuber and on the cancelled podcast, she reveals she has a crush on paige bueckers. y/n gets invited to her first game of the season and they have a lot of fun! part one!!!!!!!!!!!

─ warnings | literally nothing but banter and fun, slight paige slander (but its from kk and ice so its ok), idk what else. oh brooke and tana being protective but its in a sweet way. also i love this mini series i loved it

─ ev's notes | sooo im trying out a semi-new format, lmk if yall like it!!!!!!!

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!

Paige 💕 (paigebueckers) started following you.

Paige 💕 wants to send you a message. Hey, I heard you were into D1 basketball players? 😉

The message stuck out to you, your stomach dropping as you read the message request. You couldn't help but grin as you read her playful message, the nervous energy in your stomach now morphing into a thrilling anticipation. With shaky hands, you tapped on the message request, your heart pounding in your chest.

You couldn't believe Tana's advice had actually worked ─ talking about them on a podcast was the best rizz, apparently.

With trembling hands, you typed out a response, trying to come across confident despite the fluttering of nerves in your stomach.

Y/N 🎀 hi, you saw the episode?

Y/N 🎀 god i'm so embarrassed, sorry if you keep getting bombarded with questions from my fans lol. they mean well i swear 😫

You exited out of Instagram and tapped on iMessage, quickly getting into your group-chat with the girls.

we ❤️ white claws

y/n | GUESS WHO DM'D ME

tana | PAIGE BUECKERS???????

brooke | it better be paige or ur just blue balling us atp

y/n | yes it was paigeeee! *sends screenshot*

brooke | omgggg she's flirting with you!!!!

tana | what did i say bro?? what did i say?????

y/n | tysm tana ur literally the fucking best

As you were typing out your message to the groupchat, your phone buzzed. You looked up at the message, a smile spreading on your lips.

Paige 💕 Haha, yeah, I saw the episode. Don't worry about it, it's all good :)

Paige 💕 And no need to apologize, ur fans are really funny lol

You closed your phone, shutting your eyes as you swallowed a squeal of excitement.

The thrill of talking to Paige was almost overwhelming, but in the best possible way. You'd thought she was attractive since you'd first gotten into basketball back in high school (yes, it was because of your ex but that's besides that point), and it was surreal now that she was not only talking to you ─ she was hitting on you.

──

It had been a few weeks since you'd began talking to Paige and since then, you'd exchanged phone numbers and were talking every single day. She was sending you good morning texts, she made sure to do an fit check every morning, and you found yourself eagerly awaiting each message from her. The thrill of talking to Paige hadn't faded; if anything, it had only intensified as you got to know her better.

However, you knew since the season was beginning she wasn't going to be as free as she was before. You didn't mind, of course ─ you were just happy you were able to talk to her at all. These last couple days had been busy for her and you hadn't been able to talk to her, but this morning you'd gotten something in the mail that you were sure you didn't order.

You ripped it open to reveal Paige's jersey, and it was even signed at the bottom. You couldn't believe it, your heart swelling with warmth at the unexpected gesture from her. Holding the jersey in your hands, you couldn't help but smile at the thoughtfulness behind her gift.

As if on cue, your phone began buzzing in your pocket and you pulled it out. You quickly accepted the Facetime, a grin on your face as you answered.

"Oh my god, you're insane."

"What? You got the jersey?" Paige feigned shock, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she grinned at you through the screen. "I have no idea how that got there."

You chuckled, shaking your head in disbelief. "Yeah, I got it. Thank you so much, Paige. It's... it's amazing."

Paige's smile softened, her eyes warm with affection. "You're welcome. I just wanted to show my appreciation for you, you know?"

You felt a swell of warmth in your chest. "Well, it definitely made my day. Thanks, P. I really mean it."

Paige smirked as she took you in through the Facetime. "So, I guess you'll have to wear it to my games now, right? You can't let this signed jersey go to waste."

"Is that an invitation, P?" You teased, raising an eyebrow playfully as you grinned at Paige through the screen. The idea of attending Paige's games in her signed jersey filled you with excitement, and you couldn't wait to cheer her on from the stands.

Paige chuckled, her smirk widening. "Yeah, you down? You know our first game's on Thursday night, I'll get you floor tickets and everything."

You didn't think she was serious but the more you thought about it, the more you realized she might actually be serious. The excitement bubbled up within you at the thought of attending Paige's game, especially with floor tickets.

"Are you serious?" you asked, a hint of disbelief in your voice.

"Well, uh. I know it's a long flight but I wanna see you. I'll fly you out, I'll show you around and we can spend some time together, and stuff." Paige's usual confident demeanor was replaced with a touch of nervousness, her eyes searching yours for a reaction.

"Paige, are you sure?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. The idea of spending time together in person was both thrilling and nerve-wracking, and you couldn't believe that Paige was offering to fly you out just to see her.

Paige nodded, a shy smile tugging at her lips. "Of course, I would. I mean, if you want to."

"Yeah, of course I would. You're sure?" You spoke softly but earnestly. Flights were expensive, especially when they were as last minute as this.

Paige let out a dramatic sigh as she nodded. "Yes, bro. Yes or no?"

"Yeah, of course. Gosh, so impatient." You teased as Paige laughed through the Facetime.

Paige chuckled, her laughter filling the screen as she rolled her eyes playfully. "Okay, good. Now show me how my jersey looks on you, put it on for me."

You blushed slightly as you nodded, taking the jersey as you walked up the stairs of your house. You couldn't believe it ─ you were flying out to meet Paige in less than a week. You were going to meet Paige Bueckers in less than a week.

──

"Y/N L/N is flying out to see your ass?" KK's voice sounded shocked as sat up on the bed, her eyes wide and her jaw slightly dropped in disbelief.

Paige kept her eyes on her phone as she nodded slowly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She tried to keep the whole nonchalant thing going up but her friends could see right through it.

Paige couldn't help but smirk at KK's shocked reaction, though she attempted to maintain an air of nonchalance. "Yeah, she is," she replied casually, her fingers tapping away on her phone.

"She's coming to watch us play, like on Thursday?" KK repeated slowly as she tried to process the information, her eyes still wide with astonishment. "Seriously?"

Paige shrugged, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Yeah, seriously. Why is it so hard to believe?"

Ice, who had been lounging next to KK, chimed in with a smile. "Sounds like you're getting serious, P. Bringing her to a game? That's basically a relationship milestone."

Paige rolled her eyes playfully at Ice's comment. "It's not like that, Ice. We're just friends."

"Does she know that? You're such a fuckboy, Paige." Ice rolled her eyes as she exchanged a look with KK.

Paige couldn't help but laugh at Ice's teasing, though she couldn't deny the warmth spreading through her chest at the thought of you. "Trust me, Ice, she knows. And I'm not a fuckboy, I'm just... being a good friend."

KK chuckled, nudging Ice playfully. "Come on, Ice, let's not scare Paige away from the relationship talk."

"Bro, fuck off," Paige groaned as she sighed, leaning back in the gaming chair.

Paige knew she liked you but at this point, she'd only been texting you for a month and before she could be official with you, she'd have to spend time with you in real life. Plus, you lived in California and long distance was not the ideal for her.

"Are we getting those live show tickets or..." KK began as Paige sent her a glare. She put up her hands in defense as Ice let out a small laugh, shaking her head in amusement.

"Don't worry, we can ask her Thursday," Ice teased as she leaned back in the bed, her grin widening.

"Bro, you better leave her alone-"

"Ooo, she's getting possessive already. You have to remember it's Y/N, bro, she's definitely going to have some fans too." KK laughed, joining in on the teasing with a playful smirk.

Paige rolled her eyes at her friends' banter, though she couldn't help but feel a hint of amusement at their antics. "Guys, come on. Let's not make a big deal out of it."

KK chuckled, nudging Ice with her elbow. "Oh, come on, Paige, we'll behave."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Paige retorted as the girls laughed.

──

Y/N 🎀 posted on her story !

You were incredibly nervous and the noise of the crowded stadium didn't do much to calm your already frayed nerves. It was your first time meeting Paige in person, and the anticipation had been building up inside you since the moment you boarded the plane to Connecticut.

The plan was to originally go to a pre-game dinner but it didn't really work out because of the traffic and the hectic schedule leading up to the game. Instead, Paige suggested meeting directly at the stadium, where she would give you a tour and introduce you to some of her teammates before the game started.

As you made your way through the crowds, your heart pounded with nervous excitement. Thoughts raced through your mind, wondering if Paige would like you in person as much as she seemed to over text, if you would have enough to talk about, and if you'd be able to keep your nerves in check. You were a nervous wreck, your stomach twisting in anxiety.

You couldn't help but feel a knot forming in your stomach as you scanned the crowd, searching for Paige among the sea of faces. Suddenly, you spotted her standing near the entrance to the court, her eyes scanning the crowd with a look of concentration. Your breath caught in your throat as you made eye contact, and a wave of relief washed over you.

God, she was even more attractive in real life. Her hair was in her signature braided ponytail and had worn some light make-up, her lashes long and her cheeks pink with blush.

Paige's face lit up with a bright smile as she caught sight of you, and she began weaving her way through the crowd towards you. Your nerves melted away as she drew closer, and before you knew it, her arms wrapped around you in a light embrace.

She was even taller than you expected ─ she practically towered over you, but her embrace felt warm and comforting. As she pulled back, you couldn't help but admire the way her eyes sparkled with excitement as she scanned your outfit.

"You're wearing the jersey!" She exclaimed as her eyes took you in, she had no shame in the fact she was checking you out. You didn't miss the way she bit her lip and how her eyes lingered, your face flushing with warmth at her gaze.

"Yeah, I wanted to show my support," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady despite the fluttering of nerves in your stomach. "Plus, it's pretty comfy."

Paige grinned, her smile widening at your response. "Well, you look amazing in it. Maybe even better than I do," she teased, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

You couldn't help but laugh at her teasing, your blush deepening as you looked up at the taller girl. "You're such a flirt,"

Paige bit her lip as her head fell back as she laughed, her laughter filling the air around you and sending a shiver of excitement down your spine. "Nah, I wasn't even trying that time."

Before you could reply, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to meet the gazes of two girls and a boy, their expressions nervous and excited. "Oh my god, we are such big fans!"

You smiled instantly as you turned your attention toward them. "Aw, thank you, guys. That means the world, would you like a picture?"

The trio's faces lit up with excitement as they nodded eagerly. "Yes, please!" one of the girls exclaimed, her voice filled with excitement.

"Can she take the picture?" One of the girls asked as she gestured toward Paige. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, her hands in her pockets as she exchanged a glance toward you.

"Uh, sure."

You and the fans gathered closer, posing for the picture as Paige stepped back to frame the shot. With a quick press of the button, the photo was taken, capturing the moment. As the fans thanked you both and walked away, chatting animatedly amongst themselves. You glanced toward the blonde as she began laughing, shaking her head.

"What?" You asked as she drew closer to you.

Paige shrugged. "I just kinda forgot you're like famous, or whatever. It kinda gives me like... an ego boost, not gonna lie."

You couldn't help but laugh at Paige's comment, her candidness adding to the lightheartedness of the moment. "Why?"

"You're like this really pretty girl who's super funny and has like, a whole fanbase. And you flew out to see me, you told everyone on your friend's podcast that you had a crush on me and now you're here, just casually hanging out with me, wearing my jersey like it's no big deal," Paige explained, a playful smirk tugging at her lips.

You laughed at her explanation, feeling a warmth spread through you at her words. "Well, to be fair, you're also this incredible basketball player who's basically taking the WNBA world by storm. And you invited me to your game, so I'd say we're pretty even."

"You're boosting my ego even more though, I hope you know that," Paige replied with a playful grin, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

You chuckled, feeling a sense of ease settle between you. "Just returning the favor," you teased, nudging her playfully.

"Okay, I'ma let me show you around now," Paige grinned as she gestured for you to keep walking. Her hands found your waist and began guiding you through the halls, her touch unexpected but undoubtedly welcome.

You couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement at the contact, her touch sending a jolt of electricity through you. With Paige's arm around your waist, guiding you through the busy stadium corridors, you felt a sense of intimacy that was both thrilling and comforting.

──

As you sat in the stands, surrounded by cheering fans and the energy of the game, your heart raced with excitement. You stole glances at Paige on the court, marveling at her skill and grace as she played. Despite your nerves, you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride knowing that you were there to support her.

She was so attractive (even while running around and sweating), she reminded you how much you loved hoopers. The way she moved, the intensity in her eyes as she focused on the game, it all captivated you. Even in the midst of competition, she exuded a confidence and poise that was undeniably attractive.

Your eyes stayed on her the entire game, not paying much attention to anything else. You were so enamored with Paige that you hardly noticed the passage of time. Every movement she made seemed effortless, every shot she took seemed destined to find the net.

As the game reached its end, with the score neck and neck, Paige seemed to rise to the occasion, her determination shining through in every play. And when she sank the winning shot in the final seconds of the game, the crowd erupted into cheers, the sound reverberating throughout the stadium.

You couldn't help but leap to your feet, cheering along with the rest of the fans as you watched Paige celebrate with her teammates on the court.

As the crowd began to disperse and the energy of the game slowly subsided, you made your way down to the court, eager to congratulate Paige. As you approached her, a wide grin spread across her face, and she pulled you into a tight hug, the euphoria of the win still palpable in the air.

Paige didn't care if people took pictures or if people decided to gossip about it later; all she cared about was you being there in that moment.

"You looked really good out there," the words came out of your mouth before you could really process them. Paige pulled out from the hug with a laugh, her arms still around your shoulders.

"And you looked really sexy in the stands, wearing my jersey." Paige smirked playfully, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she teased you.

"I felt like a NBA trophy wife, I was clapping all cutesy cause I knew people were taking pictures of me," you quipped, feeling a rush of excitement at Paige's playful banter. Her laughter was infectious, and you found yourself grinning in response.

Paige chuckled, giving you a playful nudge with her shoulder. "Well, you definitely looked the part," she teased, her tone affectionate as she leaned in closer to you.

You laughed along with her, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort in her presence. "Guess I'll have to start practicing my trophy wife wave for next time," you replied with a playful wink.

"Ooo, next time? Does that mean you'll visit me again?" Paige teased, raising an eyebrow playfully as she looked at you.

You couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for her at her words. "Of course," you replied, your voice filled with sincerity. "But only if you make me a WNBA wife, P."

She squinted as if she was thinking about it, earning a playful shove from you. "I'm just playing, you're the only girl."

"I'd hope so," you scoffed as you playfully rolled your eyes, unable to hide the smile tugging at your lips.

Paige grinned, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Well, lucky for you, you're my favorite girl," she replied, her tone soft and affectionate.

"So there are other girls?" You teased as she groaned playfully, earning a laugh from you. "I'm just your favorite-"

"That's not what I meant, you're the only one who's wearing my signed jersey, that I sent directly to your house and you're the only one who gets good morning texts and fit checks." Paige countered, her playful smirk widening into a genuine smile.

You couldn't help but laugh at her response, feeling a sense of warmth and happiness fill your chest. "Yeah, I guess you're right," you replied, your tone light and teasing.

Before Paige could reply, she saw Ice and KK approaching from behind you. She sighed as you turned around, meeting their excited gaze.

Paige sighed playfully as she turned to greet Ice and KK, who were clearly eager to join in on the conversation. "Hey, what's up, you two?" she greeted them with a smile, her eyes flickering with amusement.

Ice and KK exchanged a knowing look before KK grinned mischievously. "So, are we interrupting something here?" she teased, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Paige rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide the smile tugging at her lips. "Y/N, this is KK and Ice. Don't worry about them though, they're just stupid freshman who think they're the shit-"

"Bro, says you!" KK shouted as you laughed, exchanging a smile with Ice.

"I know who you guys are, P talks about you a lot," you said, offering a friendly smile to KK and Ice. "Nice to finally meet you both."

KK's eyes lit up with excitement. "Oh, really? What does she say about us?" she asked eagerly, leaning in closer with a playful grin.

Paige let out a groan, shooting you an amused glance before replying, "Only good things, I promise."

"Yeah, she loves you guys." You smiled as you glanced between Paige, KK, and Ice. "Always talking about your antics and how you keep things interesting."

"She talks about you too, like nonstop." KK began before she earned a shove from a very flustered Paige.

Ice continued, "We thought she was lying until we watched your episode with Tana and Brooke, then we were confused cause you like Paige?"

"Why are you saying it like that? Paige?" Paige mocked Ice, earning a laugh from you and KK.

"Cause Y/N's like a whole baddie, like a 20/20 and you're just like... mid at basketball," Ice explained as Paige sent her a playful glare. "People are gonna be really confused until they see how much you make, then they'll be like ohh,"

"Shut up, bro," Paige replied, but there was a fondness in her tone as she exchanged playful banter with Ice. "It's not about basketball skills, it's about the person."

"Sure, sure," KK chimed in with a grin. "We all know you're a catch, Paige. But hey, if Y/N's into it, who are we to judge?"

You laughed at the girls banter, exchanging a smile with Paige as Ice and KK did the same. "Y/N, we have a question."

"Oh no, bro," Paige groaned as KK nudged her slightly, telling her to be quiet as you nodded, laughing softly.

"Can you get us tickets to Tana and Brooke's shows? Please, we really really wanna go," KK asked, her excitement palpable.

You couldn't help but chuckle at KK's eagerness. "Sure! I'll reach out to them get you guys some," you replied with a smile, already mentally making a note to message Tana and Brooke about it later.

Paige rolled her eyes playfully. "Great, now you're getting my girl to do favors for you," she joked, earning a laugh from both you and KK.

"Your girl?" Ice responded as she raised her brow. "Okay, I see you P, already locking it down."

Paige's cheeks flushed slightly as she playfully nudged Ice. "Shut up, Ice. You know what I mean."

KK leaned in with a mischievous grin. "Oh, we know what you mean, Paige. You're just too scared to admit it."

"Okay, well. Thank you so much, Y/N, you're even more stunning in person. I'll leave you guys to it, now," Ice smirked as she grabbed KK and began walking off the court, toward the team.

Paige let out a sigh before she turned over to meet your eyes, a softness to softness to her expression that made your heart flutter. "Sorry about them, they're like that all the time," she said with a chuckle.

You shook your head with a smile, feeling a sense of contentment settle over you. "No, no, they seem really sweet. They remind me of Tana and Brooke though," you laughed as Paige nodded.

"Uh, sure!" Paige teased as you shook your head in amusement. "I need to go take a shower but um, maybe you can come over?"

Your smile widened at the request as you nodded. "Yeah, sounds like fun."

Again, her hand found the small of your back as she led you toward the team. She was soon reminded of a team celebration they were planning on doing later and the girls insisted on bringing you, she realized that you had become their favorite, too.

But she couldn't blame them, you were perfect.

──

tana mongeau (tanamongeau) started following you. Brooke (brookeschofield) started following you.

tana mongeau wants to send you a message. hurt her and you die, got it blondie ?? not joking btw

Brooke wants to send you a message. Heard you & Y/N had a fun time this weekend! You seem like such a sweet girl, would love to have you on the pod sometime. Promise we'll keep it PG 🤗

Brooke Oh and go huskies!!!! 😁

Paige glanced at her phone with a slight groan, shaking her head. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me,"

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[susiephone]

wtf is dracula daily?

i’ve seen a couple people ask this question on my posts about it, so i thought i’d go ahead and clear it up here!

ok so, the classic horror novel “dracula” is an epistolary novel - that means it’s told via letters, diary entries, ship logs, and news articles. (technically the term “epistolary novel” refers to works told solely through letters or emails, but many have expanded it to mean any work that is told via in-universe documents, hence why diaries and logs often get included as well. “frankenstein” is another classic example; the whole framing device is robert walton is recounting the story he heard from victor to his sister via letter. a modern example would be “several people are typing,” which is told via slack messages, or “the perks of being a wallflower,” which is told via letters from charlie to his anonymous pen pal, which is functionally more like you’re reading his diary.)

because of the nature of the narrative, we actually know the exact day nearly everything in dracula happens - the letters, news articles, diary entries, etc. are all dated.

“dracula daily” is a substack project where the novel is broken up into parts, with people who are subscribed to the project getting emails every day something in dracula happens - for example, the novel opens with jonathan harker’s journal entry on may 3, so on may 3, subscribers are emailed that entry. the action of dracula takes place from may 3 - november 6, plus an epilogue set some years later. the project started in 2021 (i think), but fucking BLEW UP in 2022, and they’re doing it again this year! lots of us are very excited - especially people like me who fell behind last time.

why not just read the book?

valid! due to some parts of dracula being told out of chronological order, dracula daily does reorder some things. for example, the first section of dracula is told entirely from jonathan harker’s pov, then the second section switches the pov to mina murray. their sections have some overlap in the timeline, so dracula daily jumps back and forth between their perspectives.

if you want to read the book as bram stoker intended, dracula daily may not be for you. but for a lot of people (myself included!), it breaks up a very long text into easily digestible chunks (....mostly. there is one entry that is 10k words), and the fact that it’s a big project means there are a lot of people reading along with you.

i think there’s also something valuable about experience the slow revelation of wtf is going on along with the characters. the book which you might otherwise get through in a few days is stretched out into months of suspense and agony as you wait for the other shoe to drop, and it’s great.

plus, the whiplash between “jonathan harker’s neverending horror” vs “lucy is basically on the bachelorette” that you get in dracula daily is very very funny.

how do i sign up?

right here! and if you sign up and fall behind in the emails, no worries - the dracula daily website posts past entries so you can catch up.

what if i prefer audiobooks?

have i got great news for you!

like i mentioned before, i couldn’t keep up with the emails last year. part of it is that it is much easier for me to focus on an audiobook or keep up with a podcast than it is for me to sit down and read, especially with longer entries.

this year, there is going to be a podcast titled “re: dracula” that was inspired by dracula daily. every episode will be a dracula daily entry, with a full voice cast! (seriously, if you listen to british podcasts, you will recognize some of these names. the magnus archives and wooden overcoats girlies are WINNING.) you can find that here.

there is also a podcast called “cryptic canticles” that has an already-completed audiodrama of dracula that i’m told is also extremely good, and was also broken up by date. you can find that here.

why do i keep hearing about paprika/the boyfriend squad/lizard fashion/cowboys?

you’ll see.

oh god am i gonna hear about this nerd shit for the rest of the year

yes. sorry.

[rythyme]

ok many of us have heard that news that Supernatural actors DJ Qualls aka Garth and Ty Olsson aka Benny are getting gay married.

I listened to most of the podcast episode to verify — and yeah! they're full on getting married, planning to grow old together, etc. etc. however — the wild supernatural lore doesn't stop there.

ty and dj first met at a supernatural convention in the UK. they got close when they went on vacation to turkey together after maybe having spoken like 5 times.

there is in fact a big supernatural cast group chat

dj hasn't watched supernatural. "[supernatural] is a tv show I don't watch, i'm not a fan of, because I know everyone on it" and "the last thing i want to do is watch them play pretend in my spare time"

Party On Garth is his favorite episode because he got to drink / pretend to be drunk.

dj initially wasn't going to take the supernatural role. the producers sent him a script and a few episodes to convince him. his first impression of supernatural was, "it's two underwear models chasing monsters?"

dj got beat up really badly by a cop when he was in Vancouver for his first supernatural shoot. Someone else had to explain to the cops that he literally hadn't even done anything before they released him with no charges.

other than that the most memorable thing about his first supernatural shoots was the catering. "the best sandwiches I've ever had" and "they had two kinds of soup. I love soups."

[squinch-depraved]

I was watching a chuckle sammy episode today and there was a part where Schlatt said he would hire a hot secretary just to keep him company. I'd love a story about that if you're willing.

The episode is the zodiac one the part I'm referring to is exactly 1 hour in.

this is reallllly yummy i hope i did it justice for you

it was supposed to be just a joke. just a bit for the podcast, a few sentences about hiring an attractive secretary and nothing more. but they stuck in schlatt's mind and hung heavy over him for the rest of that night. he really was lonely. and ted had a point, hiring someone to just be around (and look pretty) was looking like a better and better idea every second. so he finished off his bottle of benedictine, not that there was much left, and tossed it to the side, stretching out further on the couch while he pulled out his phone and set to work searching for an assistant.

it wasn't long before ted heard about his search, and the two men bantered in a call for a few minutes about it before the older of the two stopped his jokes to suggest, "no, but for real though, i have a friend who just moved back to new york, you might remember her, she was on the set for this past chuckle week helping in the background. y/n?"

schlatt's pupils dilated and he took in a breath. "yeah, i remember her," he replied coolly. "thought she was in school though?" he played with something on his desk.

ted lit up. "yeah, she's studying, but i'm sure she'd be willing to work something out with you." his voice was laced with knowing. he had seen the way schlatt sized you up the first time he laid eyes on you, the way he could never meet your gaze and how he always looked to you first when he made a joke. "i'll send you her info, you should reach out, man. she'll be happy to hear from you."

that last line was the only reason schlatt did it. he cursed himself for letting ted convince him now that you were here in front of him. you had been invited to a coffee shop to discuss the job details, and when you finally showed up, he looked incredibly uncomfortable sitting at a small table. but you sat down in front of him, smiling up at him and pushing your glasses up on your nose.

"hi schlatt!" you greeted him, reaching out to shake his hand. he gripped you a bit too hard and grimaced when you made a small noise, shaking your hand out when he let go. "thank you so much for the opportunity, i was really worried i wouldn't be able to find a good job for a while with my school going on and everything."

he nodded hastily and pushed a pastry he ordered for you towards you on the table. you smiled and yanked it towards you, beginning to eat as he spoke. "basically, i just need you to get any random tasks i need done, done. just, paperwork, if there ever is any, usually it's all digital, uhh, anything that slips through the cracks. i just need someone to be there and make sure my shit is taken care of."

you raised a brow. "sounds like you need more than an assistant," you responded with a smirk. his face reddened and he looked away, trying to shove down the thoughts of why you were really here. you were making a joke, but it wasn't funny to him. not when you didn't know you were right.

"shit, i'm sorry schlatt, i didn't mean to insult you-"

"'s fine. not insulted. i need you in the office whenever i'm there, sometimes i get work done at my apartment, so here's a key to both. feel free to get your own shit done whenever you're working unless i need you doing something. pay's fifty an hour. can you start today?" he slaps two keys down onto the table as well as two addresses written down on a half-crumpled napkin. you stare up at him in shock before snatching the keys and paper.

"fifty bucks an hour???" you whisper-screamed at him before the startled look on his face pulled you back into reality. "what about this job is worth paying me that much? i'm accepting it, no takesies backsies, but why so much, schlatt?" you tilted your head at him as you asked.

he scrambled for an answer to your question that wasn't "i want to spoil you until you can't think of anything else in the world you want," but when he opened his mouth to talk, nothing came out. you sighed and answered his previous question instead.

"yeah, i can start today. let's go ahead and get to work, boss," you said, standing up and collecting all your school stuff you brought in with you. "take me somewhere i can dump my stuff!"

weeks passed, you fell into rhythm with his fucked up schedule easily, quickly learning when to fetch him more caffeine and when to take away his alcohol. you kept him organized, boosting his productivity and helping him with almost anything he needed. you learned a few days in the fifty an hour was for no good reason other than maybe ted had told him you were struggling to pay for school (he hadn't) because most of your job was sitting at another desk, sometimes in the same room, sometimes separated by walls, parallel playing with schlatt as he filmed or streamed or edited or did whatever he needed to do while you worked on schoolwork or a fun hobby you were into. you were being paid to do minimal office work, study and relax, and best of all, care for your hot boss. he loved when you called him that, boss, it always made his cock twitch and his brain flood with thoughts of you under him.

the worst part of the job was how attracted you were to him. it made doting on him inevitable when your whole source of income was reliant on you making sure he was "taken care of." he noticed you acting more lovingly for the first time when you brought a water bottle to his desk while he was editing and massaged the back of his shoulders before mumbling, "you need to take a break and stretch soon," and leaving the room. he was stunned, skin burning under his sweater where you touched him. secretaries don't do that. he quickly opened up his messages with ted and began typing.

"dude. i fucked up. shouldn't have hired y/n. help." every sentence was a different message. moment later, ted eased the pounding of schlatt's heart a bit by replying.

"what happened??"

schlatt typed quickly. "she massaged my shoulders idk man i can't think around her"

"oh dear heavens, the damn harlot massaged you?"

schlatt didn't dignify that with a response. a few moment later, ted typed again.

"she's really into you dude, you should go for it. i promise she's not the type to sue you if it doesn't work out"

his main fear erased, he closed the chat and got off the computer, heading to find you in his apartment kitchen, going over the schedule for the days to come. music played from a speaker on the counter, and you paused it when you saw him come out.

"sorry, was it too loud?" you asked, looking up at him.

"nah," he shook his head. "you've been workin' for me for a few months now, y/n," he began.

you started shaking your head, backing up into his fridge. "schlatt, please, no, i need this job," you started to babble.

"shhh, nonono, not that at all, doll," he assured you, gliding across the floor to caress your cheek. the pet name made your stomach turn as you let him cup your face. "was gonna say somethin' else."

"what is it, then, boss?" you batted your lashes at him. he inhaled sharply and kissed you, absorbing the high pitched moan you let out. when he pulled away, you flicked your eyes down from his to his mouth and back up to meet his gaze before pulling him back in.

he tasted like whiskey, and he growled against your neck when you slid your hands under his shirt. "hired you just to keep me company but i can't keep my hands off you, doll." the nickname made you nervous for the second time that night.

"then don't keep 'em off me," you panted, puling your shirt off over your head and adjusting your skewed glasses. he drinks you in, inhaling the scent of your perfume (that you recently had to buy another of because he stole your first bottle to smell while he pumped his thick cock in his hand whenever you were gone). after a moment, he peeled your leggings off and picked you up, setting you down on the counter before he kneeled between your legs and looked up at you for permission to begin tasting you. you nodded, running your fingers through his brown curls while he started to lick and kiss at your cunt. much to his enjoyment, you didn't hold back your noises, letting your moans and cries bounce off the echoey walls of his apartment.

he slid a finger in you as he sang praises about how good you tasted for him, working his way up to two, and eventually three. you were crooning about how amazing he felt, knotting your fingers deeper into his hair and pulling it when you felt your high getting close, which made him moan directly onto your clit. you clenched your thighs around his head and ground down onto his face as he drew an orgasm from you.

once his face was thoroughly soaked with your juices, he pulled away and came up to kiss you for a bit before pulling you off the counter and spinning you around.

"i promise i'll fuck you properly, in a bed, next time, i just gotta have you now, toots." he bent you over the counter and slid his pants down, stroking his length a few times before slowly pushing into you. you both moaned, adjusting to each other, and he started thrusting, gripping your hips fiercely as you shrieked and adjusted your glasses again, to no avail because you were being shaken and throttled like a toy.

"god, you're so good!!" you screeched, moaning further when he smacked your ass in response.

"fuck, you look so cute, bent over on my counter like that, lettin' me use you like the good little assistant you are," he snarled. you let out a guttural whine at how hot he sounded. "you're so good at assisting me, baby."

your knees began to buckle and he grabbed you tighter to help hold you up.

"almost there, toots, c'mon. doin' so good."

you cried out one more time and his pace quickened, growing unsteady as he got closer to finishing. he thrust forcefully a few more times before pulling out to come all over your back and ass.

quiet settled over the kitchen as you both panted, and you heard him quietly snap a picture of you with his seed all over you before he grabbed a paper towel and began to clean you up.

"sorry," he mumbled.

you shook you head and turned around to kiss him. "can i stay the night?" you asked him.

he nodded, relieved, and slipped his pants back on.

"can i get paid for it?" you looked at him with a sly expression, glasses smudged.

he laughed. "absolutely."

[gibsongirled]

i’m obsessed with girl dad!schlatt 🤭 can we have a fic where they’re high school sweethearts (reader with a normal job out of the spotlight) and she joins the podcast for the first time and schlatt introduces her to everyone as his wife as she’s never been in a video/mentioned before

would love their daughter making an appearance—maybe either hearing her on the baby monitor or smth and schlatt goes to take care of her

love your writing 🫶 i can’t wait to read anything new you post

ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU !!

description: some say that high school sweethearts don't last, you and Schlatt proved them wrong.

a/n: this was such a cute req !! (the title's the same as the song by the moldy peaches :3)

People have said that high school sweethearts would not make it past high school, and some of them were right. But you and Schlatt were the exception. Hah, suck on that, other ex high school sweethearts.

The two of you met during your sophomore year, having shared the same History class. Schlatt sat in the row behind you and occasionally, the two of you would exchange glances and go on with your day, because high schoolers are awkward like that. You started seeing him more when one of your friends started dating one of his friends, causing you to get to know him through mutual friends.

And eventually, the two of you got closer. A lot closer. You sat on the bleachers at his baseball games, stayed up late with him while he edited his videos, and was his date to prom. That night under the poorly decorated stars in the gym while the DJ played the weirdest tracks you’ve ever heard was one of your core memories. And then the two of you started dating and no one was surprised. You two made it way too obvious how much you liked each other.

When Schlatt started doing Youtube full time, you said that you wanted to be kept out of the spotlight and he agreed with you. He kept his real life and online life separate- only letting the closest friends know that he was dating someone. Of course, those same close friends were invited to the small ‘friends and family only’ wedding you two had a few years later. Another core memory that he has framed and placed on his setup that’s out of view from the camera.

Schlatt went on hiatus when you were pregnant with your daughter. He had scheduled his already made videos to upload at a certain time and was completely offline from the internet after that, being by your side 24/7. The hiatus continued on for a few months after your daughter was born and then the internet started speculating where he disappeared to, because this was far from his usual sparse uploads.

Your late night talks had delved into how to continue streaming without revealing you and the baby. And you decided to fill his viewers in on your existence. He was definitely shocked, but ultimately it’s your decision and that was final.

“Schlatt, who’s with you today?” Ted asked on the latest Chuckle Sandwich episode, waving at you through the camera. “Audio listeners - love you to death - Schlatt has a woman with him.” Of course, Ted knew who you were- having been invited to your small wedding years prior. He was just playing it up for the camera.

You waved back at Ted, smiling as Schlatt grabbed his mic and talked into it. “My wife.”

“Your wife?” Tucker asked incredulously and Schlatt nodded, smiling widely as he pulled you into his side. “My wife! Say hi, toots.”

“Hi, Ted, Tucker.” You beamed, feeling anxiety and excitement mix into one intense feeling. You heard the baby monitor suddenly crackle to life with a loud cry, and you sighed softly, removing your headphones and began to get up when Schlatt stopped you, getting up himself. “I’ll get her. You sit tight, babe.” He whispered to you and made a hand motion to the camera to continue the session without him. You slid the headphones back on, keeping one ear open to listen to what was happening on the monitor.

The three of you continued on making random conversations about all sorts of stuff until Schlatt came back. He kissed you on the top of your head and sat back down beside you.

“How is she?” You asked, looking at him.

“She’s good, just needed a bottle.”

“Ah, okay.”

That small conversation between the two of you was left unedited and Twitter was on fire when the episode came out, because not only was he married, he also had a baby! The two of you were trending for a good while, and you are well loved by his viewers.

You were so glad the two of you gave it a chance back in high school, and you couldn’t think of anyone else to share this life with. Schlatt was your soulmate and you were his.

[st-just]

ive seeeen you mention listening to history podcasts before, are there any that youd recommend? I have looked at whats out there but a lot of the popular ones I saw seemed to be rather dubious if you get me

So an assortment off the top of my head

Mike Duncan's stuff is both generally very good and also the inspiration of 90% of the history podcasts I listen to, so useful for cultural literacy if nothing else. (He podcasted his way into being a bona fide public intellectual for a moment there!) History of Rome is exactly what it sounds like, a narrative history from the mythical foundation of the city to the fall of the Western Empire (getting much more detailed and in depth as it gets into the imperial era). Revolutions is an anthology on what can be called the great revolutions of the modern western world, with series on the English, American, French, Haitian, Spanish American, German/Italian/French again (1848), French round three (Paris commune), Mexican and Russian (also includes a semester-length intellectual history of 19th C europepan leftism) revolutions. First two series are fine but it really gets good with the French Revolution and the Haiti series is some of the best pop history I've listened to or read. Also doubles as just a decent history of the long 19th century in Europe.

Tides of History is the only one of this list that feels like it has an actual production budget and more than one person working on it as part of their actual job. The host is the other guy whose podcasted himself into being a bit of a public intellectual (would rec his substack!) The downside of having a budget is most of the older stuff being locked behind a paywall, which is a shame because the early seasons are some of the best approachable history on the late medieval and early early modern period in Europe I've heard or seen. The current season is about the late bronze age world, and continues to be excellent.

History of Byzantium is explicitly an attempt to pick off where Duncan left off and follow the Eastern Roman empire from the fall of the west to 1452 (it's still in progress, now well into the 13th century). Also much like History of Rome, it starts off fairly general and vague but gets much more detailed as it goes. The general narrative history is intercut with semi-regular interviews with academic historians about the subject of their expertise for more in depth and probably rigorous discussion.

Speaking of Byzantium and Friends is hosted by one of the more prominent working byzantinists and consists of absolutely nothing but that. Much, much more academic - there's a level of assumed background knowledge to get much of anything out of the episodes, and and a level of academic inside baseball, but accurcy-wise this is the podcast I trust most out of all of them.

History of Japan is, again, what it sounds like. One of many podcasts begun by a grad student probably procrastinating working on his thesis that has lasted long enough for him to graduate, get married, and settle into a full time job. Vast majority of episodes are 20-30-minute mini-histories on, say, the biography of a particular political figure or part of a mini-series on the spread of Buddhism or something (plus a few much, much longer series on e.g. the Meiji Restoration). Currently in the middle of remaking/expanding a series that's a general high-level survey of Japanese history to celebrate hitting episode 500.

Criminal Records shares a host with it, but is (intentionally) less rigorous and much more bantery (having two hosts helps, them being married presumably good for the chemistry), also technically a true crime podcast - specifically about weird crimes and legal cases throughout history. My favorite episode is the one on the oldest surviving court case in the record from ancient Sumeria.

The History of the Crusades and it's sequel Reconquista continue the trend of admirably self-explaining names. They're nearly-entirely narrative and political histories, so if you're not interested in crowns, marriages and wars probably give them a pass, but very granular and detailed as they go. Crusades finished after the fall of Jerusalem and then a follow-up about the Albigensian Crusade, Reconquista currently still ongoing (in the 11th century at the moment, I believe).

Pax Brittancia is the one I just finished binging as depression-ameliorating background noise and what I've been posting about recently. Another begun by a grad student avoiding their thesis who has since become a doctor (who had previously completed a podcast on the history of witchcraft, which I have not listened to). It's ostensibly a history of the British Empire, beginning with the Stuart Dynasty (and personal union with Scotland) and moving forward with sufficent attention to detail that after five years and change it's objectively just a very in depth history of the Wars of Three Kingdoms (incl. causes and aftermath). Includes many, many interviews with established historians, including a whole series on Covenanter Scotland and whether its rise should be considered a Scottish Revolution. The narrative just reached Cromwell's inauguration as Lord Protector.

[samandcolbyownme]

ZACH

okay girlie I've got a juicy one here so cute fluff into fucking filthy smut.

So basically Zach invites you onto the podcast (Jared is the only other person there and maybe Skylar idk anyway) and throughout you two are just flirting with eachother and you eventually go and sit on the couch next to Zach and he places his hand on your thigh and like stares into your eyes anyway I digress when the podcast is finished all of you go out for drinks and both you and Zach end up getting really drunk and end up getting a taxi back to your place and well you know and then after you two are just snuggly and it turns into cute fluff again

LOVE YOU POOKIE 🖤

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, friends to lovers, mentions of drinking, being drunk, heavy flirting, kissing, hair pulling, biting, scratching, hair pulling, oral (both), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, filthy fluff

Word Count: 4.6k | unedited

I also wrote it as they walked home, no taxi, but that’s the only thing I changed. I realized after I wrote all of it.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

“Hello, hello, and welcome back..” Zach starts out, “..For another episode of Dropouts. Today.. oh boy, today we have the lovely, the talented, and the beautiful..” he gets closer to the mic and mumbles, “I must add..”

He leans back and you roll your eyes with a smile as he continues, “Y/n y/l/n everybody.”

Everyone there claps and you sigh, “I was wondering when you were going to text and beg to have me on.”

“I..” Zach laughs, “Listen, I did not beg, okay.”

You furrow your brows and tilt your head, “Yeah, okay. Sure.”

“Okay, I may have… what’s the word?”

“Embellished?” Jared asks with a laugh and Zach snaps, “That’s the word. I may have embellished the idea of her coming on today and guess what. It freakin’ worked so.”

“Yeah yeah.” You laugh, “what’s the plan for today?”

Zach shrugs, “You wanna meet Lady May?”

“She’s here?!” You ask, sitting up with excitement, “Fuck yeah I do. Bring her out.” You look around and Skyler stands up with her, “She’s taking her afternoon nap.” He says as he stands up to walk over to you.

“She can afternoon nap on me all she wants..” you gasp as he hands her to you, “Look at her! She is so sweet.”

“So, going back to that afternoon nap thing..” Zach says and you look over at him, completely oblivious to where this is going, “Yeah?”

He chuckles, watching you as you’re starstruck by this tiny creature, “Is that open to anyone or just..”

“Zach. Quite trying to sleep with all the guests.” Jared shoot and Zach scoffs, “I’m not trying to sleep with her I’m trying to sleep on her, god, Jared. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

You look up at Jared, laughing at him and you look at Zach, “you being both of your dogs and you might have a good chance.”

“That.. still doesn’t..” Jared sighs, “I’m just going to stop because I’m never going to get through that titanium skull you must have.”

“You get points for trying.” Zach finger guns him and sighs, “If my dog goes missing I know exactly where I’m looking first.”

“Good thing I’m smarter than you.” You smirk at Zach and he furrows his brows, “Mm, give me a second. I’m trying to figure this one out on my own.”

“Are you saying… that you won’t keep the dog at your house.” Zach points to you and you lift your hands and gently clap, “Wow, you must have been hitting the books last time I saw you.”

“You saw me last night, what are you talking about?”

“Whoooaaa.” Jared and Skyler yell at the same time, “Breaking news.” Jared laughs and Skyler scoffs, “So it wasn’t Zach just shaking hands with the milkman, alright.”

“Oh.. my god..” you close your eyes, laughing as you shake your head, “I didn’t.. need to know that, but okay.”

“I was actually in bed by eight p.m last night, alright. There was no shaking of the hands with anyone who delivers milk.”

You laugh, running your hand over the small dog laying in your lap.

“So, y/n.” Jared starts out, “I heard you got a brand deal with Huda Beauty? Going to be in some ads, huh?”

You nod, “that is correct.”

“What’s that, like makeup?” Zach asks and you nod, “Yeah, foundation, fragrances, beauty tools, all that jazz.”

“They’re going to make you play a saxophone? How cool is that!?”

You stare at Zach for a few seconds, blinking before looking at Skyler and Jared, “He amazes me with how fucking quick he is with this shit.”

“That’s just how my mind works, baby.” Zach claps his hands together, “So when does this brand deal go into effect?”

You lean in, “Hopfully next week-“

“Oh, hold on.” Jared points, “I think her mic stopped working.”

“That’s okay.” You get up, holding the dog as you maneuver around to sit next to Zach, “Does this work?”

“Oh yeah.” Zach nods and you smack his arm, “Not what I mean, but okay.” You look down at Lady and shake your head, “She’s just so cute.”

He smirks, “Yeah, I know, but do you have to be so conceited, I mean there’s an almost as cute of a dog sleeping on your lap.”

“Zach.” Skyler groans, “Would you stop flirting with the guest, you’re going to scare her away.”

Zach leans into the mic, “Um, I’m not flirting, okay. I’m just being nice to someone who just so happens to be extra gorgeous.”

You side eye him smirking as you shake your head.

The podcast continues to go good. There’s laughing, Zach being, well, Zach, and you get to talk about what’s going on with you in the next few weeks.

As Jared is talking, Zach slides his hand over, gently scratching the dog’s head, “She’s such a good puppy, isn’t she?”

You nod, “a hundred percent.”

Zach answers to Jared, but he doesn’t move his hand, he just rests it on your thigh, and honestly, it kind of turned you on.

Zach had pretty hands, which only made it harder for you to concentrate, but luckily, Lady was a good cover up for your eyes being on your lap - Zach’s hand.

Every now and then, his fingers would run up and down your jean clad leg, drawing circles and honestly, you didn’t think he knew he was doing that.

You guys were having a serious conversation, or trying to, at least, but you didn’t mind it.

Soon the podcast ended, and Zach wanted his dog back.

“No!” You whine, “I just want to cuddle her.”

“Come by later and you can have all the cuddles you want.” Zach smirks and you roll your eyes, “From you or the dog?”

“Whichever you prefer, my darling.” Zach lifts his hands and drops them back down, “No, but serious. We’re going out for drinks and we want you to come.”

“Fine.” You sigh, giving Zach back his dog, “This better be worth giving up that cute little thing for.”

“I will aggressively cuddle you to make up for it.” Zach walks up, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and you laugh, “Oh, no. That’s not-“

You laugh and shake your head, “Who’s driving?”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

“How’s it goin’?” Zach asks as he leans against the bar in front of you. You laugh, “It’s, uh. It’s goin’.”

“Need another drink? You can put it on my tab.” Zach waves over the bartender and motions to you. You order your drink and smile at Zach, “I think.. I’m about done.”

You laugh as Zach groans, “Oh don’t say that.”

“I’m just not.. I don’t know.” You look around, “Theres just.. a lot of people here.”

“Well, y/n. It is a Friday night and it is a public and popular place to go on said Friday night.”

You grab your glass as the bartender sets it down and you stop him, “Wait, can I get two tequila shots please?”

“Tequila? Oh girl, you’re trying to get me drunk, aren’t you?” Zach laughs and you shrug, “If I go down, I’m taking you down with me.”

“Oh no, no. That wasn’t the deal.” Zach laughs and you shrug, “it is now.”

Two shots turned into four and four turned into six.

“Holy shit.” Zach groans as he slams the last one down on the bar, “I need to get away from you.” You laugh and motion, but he shakes his head, “Correction I need to get you away from this bar.”

He grabs your hand and pulls you with him, stopping when he sees Skyler and Jared, “Hey look our people. Our good, friends, hey friends.”

Jared looks at you, “Is he drunk?”

You nod, “Yessir.”

“So is y/n. Where is she anyway?” Zach looks around before looking down at you, “Ohhhg shiiiit. There you are!”

“I never..” you laugh, “I never left.”

“Wow, that’s great, I-“ Zach walks away and Skyler laughs, “I’ll follow him.” You watch as he walks away after Zach and you shake your head, “I shouldn’t have drank so much.”

“Feeling sick?” Jared asks and you shake your head, “More like.. in my feels right now.” You laugh it off and Jared sighs, “You know what can help that?”

“What?”

Jared points behind you and you turn around to see Zach holding two bottles up and pouring them in his mouth.

“Oh..” you laugh, “No, no. He’s going to regret that.” You look at Jared, “That is so fucking funny.” You lay a hand over your mouth and follow him through the crowd over to Zach.

Zach sets the bottles down and everyone around him cheers. He looks at you and points, “Get over here.” He gives you a come here motion and you groan, laughing as you walk over to him.

He lifts the bottle up, giving you a shot straight to the mouth.

“Whoooa!” Zach cheers and he quickly gets the crowd to start chanting your name.

Everyone know who you were which made it more fun, in a way.

“Come on.” You laugh, stumbling down off small stage with Zach in your grasp trailing behind you. You turn around, “I think I’m going home.”

“What?” He sounds so sad, “Why?”

“I’m.. jus’not feelin’ it anymore.” You laugh slightly, “Im getting sad, I think I miss Lady.”

“Well, I have a solution.” Zach leans up against the wall and tilts his head, “ya wanna hear it?”

You laugh, nodding your head, “Sure, Z.”

“Maybe making out for a few minutes will help us figure things out.”

“Figure what out?” You laugh and he shrugs, “I don’t know, but it sounded good, didn’t it?” He raises his brows and you roll your eyes, “Fuck it. Why not.”

“What?” He looks shocked, “Really? I don’t think that would work.”

“Fucking kiss me before I walk aw-“

Zach cups your cheeks, his lips on yours and you drunkenly make out with each other as you lean against the wall.

Your hand slides up to grip his sweatshirt, pulling him closer, “Zach..” you mumble against his lips, “I think.. we need to.. go.”

“Go?” He pulls his head back, “Why?”

You raise your brows, smirking up at him and he gasps, “Ooohh, ohh, oh.” He nods, “Yep. Yeah, let’s..” he looks around, “They’ll figure it out.”

“Don’t you need to get your card?” You point to the bar and he groans, “Fuck, yes.” He grabs your hand, fingers interlocking with his and he pulls you with him.

He gets his card, signs the receipt in a drink scribble and you leave the bar.

“My house is just a block away. We can walk.” You point, laughing as you stumble down the street with him.

“Oooh, taking me to your house on the first date huh.” Zach looks over at you and you laugh, laying your hand on his chest, “Oh my god, that was not a first date.”

“I dunno..” he sighs, laughing, “With how much you stayed with me.. sure felt like it.”

“I was making sure you didn’t pass out and face plant, Zach. You’re not much of a drinker.” You shake your head, pulling away as you do a spin with his hand in yours above your head.

“Whoa, someone call dancing with the stars because this star, is dancing!” Zach announces as he points to you. You slap his hand down and laugh, “Will you be my partner?”

“Oh I don’t dance. I can’t to save my life.”

You step in front of him, taking his other hand, “You just.. it’s easy.. look..”

He tries, but he ends up tripping over your feet and his feet and he’s on his back looking up at you as you sit next to him on the sidewalk absolutely losing it.

“Are.. oh my god.. are you.. are you okay?” You ask as you continue to die laughing, “Fuck, Zach! I should have listened to you.”

Zach lays there laying, his one hand over his face as his other rests on your thigh. You look down, tilting your head as your laughter comes to a stop, “You have very nice hands.”

“Yeah?” He sits up, “That why you were looking at them instead of the dog in your lap during the podcast today?”

“How did you know?”

“I didn’t until just now.” He smirks, slowly standing up before pulling you to your feet, “But you didn’t push it away so I figured you had some sort or liking for it.”

“You’re annoying when you’re drunk.” You roll your eyes, walking away from him and he chases after you, “Yeah? Is that because you know I’m right?”

“Shut up.” You laugh, smiling up at him as you gently push him away.

“Where the hell is your house, y/n. Feels like we’ve been walking and falling forever.”

You start to laugh again, thinking about how Zach ate the pavement, “stop it that was so funny!”

“It was not!” He argues, fighting back laughter, “Okay. Okay. Maybe it was.”

You point, “my apartment is in that building.”

“My god you’re rich.” Zach shakes his head, “I’m jealous.”

“You have your own house, the fuck you mean you’re jealous.” You laugh as you walk up the steps to the door. Zach follows, “This is a lot prettier than my house.”

You roll your eyes, shaking your head as you unlock the door, “I’m on the top floor.”

“Is there an elevator, please don’t tell me we have to walk up all these steps.” Zach groans and you point, “Of course there’s an elevator, Zachary.”

“What did I tell you about calling me that?”

You furrow your brows, “That you like that I’m the only one who calls you that?”

He nods, “Yes ma’am.”

“You never said that.” You laugh as you push the elevator button, “But I’ll take it.”

Zach laughs, wrapping his arms around you, “I had fun tonight. Thanks for coming out.”

“Why do you sound like I’m dropping you off from a date?” You walk into the elevator, his arms still around you, “You came home with me.”

“Oh right I did.” He laughs and you spin around in his arms, leaning over to press the button. His arms tighten around you and you sigh, “I think we drank too much.”

“Why do you say that?” He looks down at you and you slowly look up at him, “I think I’m starting to spin.”

“Uh oh.” Zach leans back, “If you need to puke, do it away from us please.”

“I’m not going to puke.” You laugh as you step off of the elevator, “Follow me.”

He follows you down the hall and you stop to unlock the door, “Here we are.” You push the door open and walk in, “Home sweet home.”

You set your bag on the counter and Zach walks in, pushing the door closed behind him, “Woooow.” He looks around, “This place is nice.”

“Hey thanks.” You walk back the hall and turn around, “Are you coming?”

He raises his brows, “Is this the part where I get to aggressively cuddle you now?”

You scoff, laughing as you tilt your head, “Just get your ass in my bed.”

“Yes ma’am!” He salutes you with a serious look and you shake your head as you walk into your room. He walks in, kicking his shoes off as he holds himself up with his hand on the wall.

You walk over and grab a pair of shorts and a new shirt, “Im gonna change quick.” You can’t help but giggle as you watch Zach fight to not look at you, “I don’t care if you look, Zach.”

“Didn’t want to make anything weird.” He laughs as he takes off his shirt. You slip on your new clothes, “Zach, we’ve known each other for years, I don’t think anything can be weird.”

“Yeah, plus.” He kicks off his jeans and walks over to lay on the bed, “You had your tongue down my throat a few hours ago.”

You take a deep breath, nodding slowly, “That I did.” You laugh, walking over to sit next to him. He opens his arm, “C’mere.”

He lays his arm over you, pulling you back towards him.

You lay your head on his chest, your arm over his abdomen and you let out a content sigh, “Are you still drunk?”

“Uh huh.” He laughs, “Are you?”

“Uh huh.” You answer, tilting your head up to look at him, “Who was your favorite guest on the podcast?”

He laughs, “Now, I just feel obligated to say you.”

You smirk, “You can. No one’s stopping you”

“Yeah but then, mm.” He tilts his head, “Now that I think about it.. I think you’re my favorite.” You squint your eyes, “Is it because you’re sleeping here tonight?”

“Whaaaat? Nooo. No. Not at all, why would you ask that?”

You laugh, “Zachary.”

“You’re my favorite because you’re you.”

You smile, “I think you’re just saying that, but alright.”

“I’m not.” He brushes hair from your face, “You’re my favorite person.”

“Oh gosh. Okay. Now we’re getting all mushy gushy.” You scrunch up your nose, “I was already in my feelings once tonight, I don’t need to be in them again.”

“Why were you- are you good?”

You nod, “Just.. a lot of stress and shit, you know?”

He nods, “Yeah, but you know I’d drop everything for you. Hell, I asked to make out because I finally had the confidence to do it.” He laughs slightly, “Thanks alcohol.”

“I would have done it sober, Z.”

He looks shocked, “What?! Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“You never asked!” You laugh, rolling over onto your back. Zach rolls over, his face above yours, “Well, I may not be sober now, but do you wanna make out again?”

You reach up, pulling his head towards you. Your lips meet his and move in such a perfect sync.

You bite down on his lower lip, tugging slightly and he gasps lowly, “You really wanna go there?”

“I’ve been waiting to go there.”

“Oh shit.” Zach clears his throat, “Why didn’t you just say so.” He moves his body over yours and your knees rest against his hips.

He kisses down your neck and you drag your nails up his back, “Zach.” You whimper as he bites and sucks at your skin, “Fuck, I need you.”

He kisses back up, connecting his lips with you before sitting up. He works to take off your shorts and underwear as you pull your shirt up over your head and throw it.

He leans down, kisses down your chest. You pant as he takes your one nipple into his mouth and moan as he sucks, “Fuck, yes, yes.”

Your fingers lace through his hair, tugging as he gently bites down, “Fuck.”

He kisses down your torso, over to your hip and he brings a hand up. His fingers circle over your clit as his lips trail up and down your thigh.

He turns his head, his breath fanning over your needy core as his eyes lock onto you.

You stare down at him, lip pulled between your teeth.

His head dips down, tongue licking up through your folds and your back lifts from the bed, and moans escaping your lips.

You tilt your head back, the heel of your foot digging into his upper back as you whine, “That feels so good.”

His fingers and tongue switch places, causing your body to arch with pleasure as his fingers slowly slide in and out.

“F-fuck.” You gasp, your walls clenching around his fingers, “shit, shit, yes!”

Your hips roll and your fingers tug his hair. Your moans fly from your lips as he guides you through your first high.

His tongue circles your clit, flicking against it as his fingers slowly come to a stop.

You drop your hand to the bed, looking up at him with a smirk, “My turn.” You point with your thumb to the bed beside you and Zach raises his brows as he leans up, moving to lay next to you.

You push your self up, your fingers slipping into the band of his boxers. He lifts his hips as you pull them down, biting your lip when you see his cock resting against his pelvis.

You glance up at him and he smirks, flicking his brows up.

You smirk back, leaning down and situating yourself between his legs before dragging your tongue up his cock.

He gasps out, bucking his hips, “goddamn.”

You slide a hand up, wrapping it around him. Your lips attach to the head, tongue flicking and swirling around which earns low moans and groans from him.

His eyes flutter closed and his head tilts back as you start to bob your head, finding a good rhythm. His hand finds the back of your head, sliding down to brush your hair out of his view, “God, fuck.”

He bucks his hips, moaning as you work to take in as much as you can of him. Your eyes squeezing shut as you dig your nails into his thigh.

You move up a little, continuing to bob your head as he moans, “Fuck.. That’s my girl.”

You lift your head, looking at him as your tongue rests on the underside of the tip. He tilts his head, biting his lip as he takes in the imagine before him, “You are so hot.”

You smile as you lean back, crawling up to straddle him, “Says you.”

You align your lower half with his, sinking down on him with a loud moan. He pulls you forward, his arm wrapping around your waist, “you feel so fucking good.”

He moans as you lift your hips and sinking back down, moaning yourself, “You’re so big, baby.” You lick up his neck, moaning in his ear, “I feel so full.”

He moans at your words, his hands sliding to your ass to grip, guiding you up and down, “I swear..” he groans, his grip growing tighter, “You were made for me.”

“Fuck.” You groan, pushing yourself up. Your hands are planted flat against chest, nails digging into his skin as you bounce your hips fast.

Your eyes roll back and your head tilts to the side, “Fuck, fuck, yes yes.” You pant, eyes opening to look down at him.

He watches up at you, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as his fingers squeeze your hips, “That’s it, baby. Just like that.”

You keep your pace, moans growing louder by the second, “F-fuck.” You lean forward slightly, “I-I’m so..” you gasp, sinking you hips all the way before continuing to bounce them, “Fucking close!”

You lean down, your lips crashing onto it. He swallows each one of your moans, exchanging some of his own in between, “Cum, baby, cum for me.”

You moan against his lips, eyes fluttering shut as you guide yourself through your own high.

Once your hips slow down, Zach rolls you over, his own thrusts picking up where yours left off, “so pretty when you do that.” He whispers in your ear, “You’re gorgeous.”

You moan, arms wrapping around his neck, “Feels so good, Z. Feels so fucking good.”

He kisses up your jaw line, connecting his with yours, “You have me so close, baby.” You moan at his words, your legs tightening around his waist, “Need all of you, baby. Please.”

“Yeah?” He groans, his thrusts slowing down, “Tell me what you want.”

You gasp as you feel him thrust in, holding it there as your walls clench around him, “I-I, Fuck..” you whine, “Cum inside of me, baby. Please, please.”

Zach groans, kissing back down your neck as his thrusts pick up, “Feels so good.” He connect his lips with yours, your moans mixing together as his thrusts grow sloppy.

His thrusts slow down and he moans lowly, “Fuck, fuck.”

His cock twitches inside of you and you moan at the feelings, clinging to him as you feel him filling you.

You slowly make out, gasping quietly as you feel his cock slip out of you.

He rolls over and you turn your head to look at him, “ten out of ten.” He laughs and nods, “I gotta agree with you on that one.”

You smile and stand up, “That kinda sobered me up a little. I think I’m going for a shower.” You tilt your head, “Wanna come?”

“I don’t think I can do that again right now, but yeah, I’ll shower with you.”

You laugh, shaking your head, “Just.. let’s go.”

He follows you to the bathroom and you turn on the shower, stepping in once the water is hot. Zach follows you in, sliding the door closed behind you and his hands are on your hips, “Why haven’t we ever thought to do this sooner?”

You shrug, “No idea, but I kinda don’t want it to stop.”

He nods, “I can agree with you on that, too. Damn, we are on fire tonight, baby.”

You laugh, shaking your head as you reach for the shampoo.

After showering, you make your way back to the bedroom and you look at Zach, “Okay.”

“Okay .. what?” He asks as he dries off his hair and you drop your towel and climb into bed, “Now is when you can aggressively cuddle me.”

You smirk as his face lights up and he laughs, “Oh fuck yeah.” He drops his towel and gets into bed, moving over to lay right behind you.

His arm is under your head and his other is holding you close to him, “do you think there will be an outbreak of us making out in that club?”

“I’m going to die if there’s a picture of you lying on the cement.” You turn your head towards him and you both laugh.

“I’m sure there will be.” He scoffs, “I think us making out is better than me eating the sidewalks, you know?”

You nod, “Oh yeah, much hotter, but then again..” you try to hold back your giggle, “I had you on your back and that was a whole lot hotter than just kissing you.”

“Whoa, okay. Settle down, sparky. We’re cuddling.” Zach laughs, kissing the back of your head, “Mm. Your conditioner smells good.”

“Thanks.” You laugh, “I think we should try and sleep.”

“I don’t know, I like talking to you.” You can tell Zach was smiling, which only made you smile bigger, “I like talking to you, too.”

After two hours of just talking about anything and everything, you both passed out, tangled in each other’s embraces and as close together as you could possibly get.

Once you woke up, you rolled over, a relieved feeling washing over you when you realize Zach was still there.

His back was facing you, so you moved over, kissing over his shoulder which made him stir, “Hey, you’re still here.”

You laugh, “This is my house.”

He laughs and rolls over, “Just testing you, calm down.” You smirk and lean in to kiss him, “You hungry? I can make us a hangover breakfast.”

He nods, stretching his arm out, “I am, but I think it’s for something else.” He raises his brows and rolls over, “Spread’em for me, baby.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Thank you so much for reading! I love you all soooo much. My apologies, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be but I fell in love and couldn’t stop writing! Hope you enjoyed and I’ll catch you in the next one! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[straightbaittournament]

may the best bait win! propaganda under the cut

brienne and jaime:

[major spoilers for the show] homoerotic as hell. for some reason. from what i've heard this seems like a rare case of buried straights. jaime i believe dies right after they get together. the first time they have sex jaime says he's never done it "with a knight" before. literally most of my knowledge about this ship comes from bait: a queerbaiting podcast (one of their "straightbait specials"), which i'm officially suggesting as propaganda i'm only up to s4 but i feel like they should be hereThey def have already been submitted but I'm getting in early on the #BraimeSweep They're soulmates 4real :( <33 "Brienne caught him before he could fall. Her arm was all gooseflesh, clammy and chilled, but she was strong, and gentler than he would have thought. Gentler than Cersei." "The swords kissed and sprang apart and kissed again. Jaime's blood was singing" "Jaime's golden hand cracked him across the mouth so hard the other knight went stumbling down the steps. His lantern fell and smashed, and the oil spread out, burning." "You are speaking of a highborn lady, ser. Call her by her name. Call her Brienne." "In this light she could almost be a beauty, he thought. In this light she could almost be a knight." Come on. This het couple has no right to drive me (a lesbian) crazy. If they don't get together I'll explode.

kathryn and chakotay:

Janeway is the Captain of a Starfleet ship lost so far from home it will take decades to reach. Chakotay is the Captain of a Maquis (rebel) ship also lost there. They decide to work together to get home and combine their crews when the Maquis ship is destroyed, and Chakotay becomes her second-in-command. Because of the seriousness of the situation, Janeway feels that she cannot afford the distraction of a romance and so they never get together. They have NO personal space and look longingly at each other quite often and one episode has them forced to abandon ship potentially forever and they live together in a little house and he builds her a bathtub because she complains about not having one and they share a romantically charged massage where he tells her a made up story about a warrior and the woman who inspired him which he openly admits is made up and actually about them. Also he holds her while she cries about their chance of going back to the ship being destroyed. In a different episode she “dies” and he cradled her body while weeping about it. They also have candlelit dinners regularly and she lent him a copy of the book her ex-fiancé gave her, and every time the show conspires to make one temporarily unaware of the other, they flirt hardcore. An episode designed to show how they wouldn’t work as a couple only makes more people ship them. Also a young version of Janeway meets older Chakotay via time travel and asks him if they’re together in the future despite her being engaged at that point. He declined to answer directly.they have a lot of Tension thruout the series & a very deep relationship, but Janeway has someone waiting for her back home & Chakotay ends up in a romance plot with another person in the last season (that I personally felt came from out of nowhere but whatever) I rooted for them! I rooted for a str8 couple! I did not care that Janeway had someone waiting for her back home even tho I usually do! but I did not care! they deserved to fuck!

[markscherz]

i was listening to the terrible lizards podcast the other day and dave mentioned you by name! he talked about how you and your colleagues described a ton of new reptile & amphibian species and revised several existing taxonomies and i went !!!!! i know that guy's posts on tumblr!!!!!

just wanted to share my small tidbit of delight at how interconnected the world is :) hope your day is going well!

Oh cool, yeah I heard that episode as well. Dave and I first became acquainted on twitter, and actually got to meet in person in London for the first time last year. It was delightful.

[mariacallous]

This is a gift article

In the final week of this election season, the Republican Party is running two different campaigns. One of them is an ugly and angry but conventional political enterprise. Donald Trump and other Republicans make speeches; party operatives seek to get out the vote; money is spent in swing states; television and radio advertisements proliferate. The people running that campaign are focused on winning the election.

Last night, in New York City’s Madison Square Garden, we caught a glimpse of the other campaign. This is the campaign that is psychologically preparing Americans for an assault on the electoral system, a second January 6, if Trump doesn’t win—or else an assault on the political system and the rule of law if he does. Listen carefully to the words of Tucker Carlson, the pundit fired from Fox News partly for his role in lying about the 2020 election. Warming up the crowd for Trump, he mocked the very idea that Kamala Harris could win: “It’s going to be pretty hard to look at us and say, ‘You know what? Kamala Harris, she got 85 million votes because she’s so impressive as the first Samoan Malaysian, low-I.Q., former California prosecutor ever to be elected president.”

“Samoan Malaysian” was Carlson’s way of mocking Harris’s mixed-race background, and “low-IQ” is self-explanatory—but “85 million” is a number of votes she could in fact win. And how, Carlson suggested, could there be such a “groundswell of popular support” for a person he demeaned as a mongrel, an incompetent, an idiot? The answer was clear: There can’t be, and if anyone says it happened, then we will contest it.

All of this is part of the game: the Trump campaign’s loud confidence, despite dead-even polls; its decision, in the final days, to take the candidate outside the swing states to New York, New Mexico, and Virginia, because we’ve got this in the bag (and not, say, because filling arenas in Pennsylvania is getting harder); the hyping of Republican-early-voter numbers, even though no evidence indicates that these are new voters, just people who are no longer being discouraged from voting early. Also the multiple attempts, across the country, to remove large numbers of people from the rolls; the many claims, with no justification, that “illegal immigrants” are voting or even, as Trump implied during the September debate, that illegal immigrants are being deliberately imported into the country in order to vote; Vance’s declaration that he will accept the election results as long as “only legal American citizens” vote.

At Madison Square Garden, Trump doubled down on that rhetoric. He repeated past claims about the “invasion” of immigrants; about “Venezuelan gangs” occupying American cities, even Times Square; and he offered an instant solution: “On day one, I will launch the largest deportation program in American history to get these criminals out. I will rescue every city and town that has been invaded and conquered, and we will put these vicious and bloodthirsty criminals in jail.” But he left open the question of who exactly all these “criminals” might be, because he seemed to be talking about not just immigrants but also his political opponents, “the enemy within.” The United States, he said, “is now an occupied country, but it will soon be an occupied country no longer … November 5, 2024, nine days from now, will be Liberation Day in America.”

The insults we heard from many speakers at Madison Square Garden, including the description of Puerto Rico as “garbage” or of Harris as “the anti-Christ” or of Hillary Clinton as a “sick son of a bitch”—insults that can also be heard in a thousand podcast episodes featuring Carlson, Elon Musk, J. D. Vance, and their ilk—are part of the same effort. Trump’s electorate is being primed to equate his political opposition with infection, pollution, and demonic power, and to accept violence and chaos as a legitimate, necessary response to these primal, lethal threats.

As I wrote earlier this month, this kind of language, imported from the 1930s, has never before been part of mainstream American presidential politics, because no other political candidate in modern history has used an election to undermine the legal basis of the American political system. But if we are an occupied country, then Joe Biden is not the legitimately elected president of the United States. If we are an occupied country, then the American government is not a set of institutions established over centuries by Congress, but rather a sinister cabal that must be dismantled at any price. If we are an occupied country, then of course the Trump administration can break the law, commit acts of violence, or even trash the Constitution in order to “liberate” Americans, either after Trump has lost the election or after he has won it.

This kind of language is not being used accidentally or incidentally. It is not a joke, even when used by professional comedians. These insults are central to Trump’s message, which is why they were featured at a venue he reveres. They are also classic authoritarian tactics that have worked before, not only in the 1930s but also in places such as modern Venezuela and modern Russia, countries where the public was also prepared over many years to accept lawlessness and violence from the state. The same tactics are working in the United States right now. Election workers, whose job is to carry out the will of the voters, are already the subject of violent threats and harassment. At least two ballot boxes have been attacked.

The natural human instinct is to dismiss, ignore, or downplay these kinds of threats. But that’s the point: You are meant to accept this language and behavior, to consider this kind of rhetoric “baked in” to any Trump campaign. You are supposed to just get used to the idea that Trump wishes he had “Hitler’s generals” or that he uses the Stalinist phrase “enemies of the people” to describe his opponents. Because once you think that’s normal, then you’ll accept the next step. Even when that next step is an assault on democracy and the rule of law.

[charliar]

Hi @thelaurenshippen and @thebrightsessions !!

I first started listening to "The Bright Sessions" in 2020. During lockdown I got really into audio dramas and after it's been sitting on my list for some time I decided to finally start it. And I haven't stopped listening to it since. "The Bright Sessions" became my favorite podcast ever and I couldn't even tell how many times I listened to it all. It got a special part in my heart.

I didn't like Oliver at first. Didn't pay much attention to him in "The Am Archives" and honestly I was kinda annoyed when he showed up in "The College Tapes". That was until episode 714. When I heard him say "Can you stay?" I couldn't stop thinking about it for the whole next day. In the following week I had this episode on loop. Right now, I can basically quote it all the way through. These three words completely changed my view on Oliver and from that point on he became one of my favorite characters ever, in all kinds of media. Him and Mark got me back into reading, as well, as writing fanfiction which I am so utterly grateful because since lockdown I struggled a lot with reading and writing. I've got absolutely obsessed with Mark and Oliver to the point everyone around me knows who they are. It's been years since I got so attached to a character or a ship and I'm so happy it happened to be them.

It's my birthday this week. Last year I decided that I'm going to get my next tattoo as a gift to myself and when I was talking with my sister about my future tattoo plans I said I really want to get something related to TBS but I don't really have any idea. So when she suggested a quote I knew exactly what I'm gonna get. So I did. I got three words that had such a impact on my life even though they aren't something you'd expect to do so. This quote means so much to me and I'm so incredibly happy and proud of this tattoo. This podcast means so much to me and I'll forever be grateful that it exists. So thank you Lauren and thank you to the whole cast and crew for creating something so incredible 💜

[ghostsandmermaids]

Fandom Manifesto: Hello From The Hallowoods

(Originally written for the Fandomanifesto community on Pillowfort.)

Here's a (mostly spoiler-free) fandom manifesto for my favorite podcast, Hello From The Hallowoods. (Please try to keep the comments on this post spoiler-free as well.)

What is a fandom manifesto?

Inspired by ship manifestos, a fandom manifesto is an essay meant to introduce people to a fandom and promote it by explaining its appeal. It's a really fun tradition that I would love to keep going.

What is Hello From The Hallowoods?

Darker than your dreams, and farther North than you remember, there is a forest where life and death meet…

Hello From The Hallowoods is a queer horror podcast written and produced by William A. Wellman (they/them). This is the official description (taken from Spotify):

Come walk between the black pines! In this award-winning queer fiction podcast, a cosmic narrator follows the increasingly connected residents of the forest at the end of the world. It's a bittersweet story that explores queer identity, horror genre tropes, and finding hope in humanity's last moments.

It's set in a forest in northern Canada (the Hallowoods) in a post-apocalyptic world plagued by the black rains. The story follows the inhabitants of the Hallowoods—only some of whom are alive and human—as their lives become increasingly interconnected. 

The podcast is narrated by Nikignik (he/they), also known as One Hundred Eyes in the Dark, an eldritch god who speaks directly to the listener via their nightmares. He begins to tell these stories because he's grieving his partner, another god called Marolmar (he/him), and humans were the last thing Marolmar created. Over time, Nikignik changes from a more passive narrator to an active character in the story.

There are a lot of characters, including but not limited to:

a nonbinary Frankenstein's creature piercing together their identity

a trans ghost dealing with his occultist father

an invisible man finding love at first sight

a genderfluid storm witch trying to prove themself

a retired rockstar and her punk butch lesbian daughter

a floral-suit-wearing demon on a celestial audit of earth

a starwolf on a mission to kill said demon

a killer robot skull and his pet dead seagull

an unkindness of ravens (yes, they are one character)

… and many, many more.

How scary is it?

It's a horror podcast, so there are some scary moments, but for me, the story feels very comforting and bittersweet as it explores horror tropes in a really unique way. According to the website:

It's been described as a show that helps you sleep easier, rather than one that keeps you up at night.

The story also explores themes like religious trauma, isolation, death, grief, and queerphobia, so please check the content warnings at the end of each episode description or at the start of each episode transcript. Transcripts are available on the website.

Why should I listen to it?

If the description above didn't convince you, here are some more reasons why you should listen to Hello From The Hallowoods. 

There is so much content! I often complain about books being almost always standalones or duologies lately and TV seasons only being 8-10 episodes. If I really like something, I want to spend as much time with it as possible!

With HFTH, I don't have that problem because there is so much to listen to! There are currently (almost) 150 episodes available (plus a few live shows and bonus episodes), and new episodes come out every Wednesday. There are also weekly 100-word bonus stories on Patreon, and a tie-in novel called One Hundred Eyes In The Dark is currently in the works, so if you're looking for a story you can get really invested in (or if you're angry that all your favorite shows have been canceled), HFTH is perfect for you!

There are so many queer characters, disabled characters, and characters of color! If you're looking for a really diverse show, you will love HFTH. (I cried when I heard a character describe herself as aromantic.) But even aside from the diversity, the characters are just amazing. I mean, "What if Frankenstein's creature got love and support and was an absolute cinnamon roll?" is the perfect character concept. The villains are also really compelling and well-written. 

It's a great introduction to podcasts, especially for book lovers, because it often feels like a very immersive audiobook! The voice acting and music are incredible, and even though there are a lot of characters, you can tell them apart very easily by their voices. If you like fantasy and horror books, this could be your introduction to the world of audio dramas. 

That being said, if you have listened to other horror podcasts before, you will still love this one! It sometimes reminds me of Welcome To Night Vale, but the setting and characters are very unique, and the writing is so, so beautiful. 

It's also a great introduction to horror! I used to avoid horror media because I get scared very easily, but horror podcasts (and especially Hello From The Hallowoods) made me discover how much I actually enjoy horror. HFTH explores horror tropes in such a kind, unique, and hopeful way, and as sappy as that sounds, listening to it makes the horrors of everyday life a little easier to deal with. 

If you like Malevolent (another really great horror podcast), Harlan Guthrie has a guest role in HFTH! You might also recognize Mx. Wellman's voice from other podcasts like WOE.BEGONE, The Silt Verses or Old Gods of Appalachia. 

The fandom is amazing! Everyone is so kind and talented, and we always have a lot of fun theorizing about what will happen next. There's even a fan-run Discord server!

We also have a fan wiki, and in addition to the official information, we also have a "fun gender" for each character. Here are some of my favorites:

Tumblr Sexyman (Official)

Eye-Affiliated Podcast Host

Deer that will fuck you up

Whatever the hell was going on with the guy from Shape Of Water

Nightmare Personality

Hot Topic Goth

Dilf Automobile

How do I listen to it?

You can listen to Hello From The Hallowoods on the podcatcher of your choice. Here are some suggestions from the Hallowoods website:

Spotify

Apple Podcasts

Podbean

YouTube

Google Podcasts

It's not an anthology, so please listen to it from the beginning to see how the different characters and plot threads come together. 

The show is entirely ad-free and sponsor-free, so if you like it and want to financially support it, please consider joining the show’s Patreon.

And that's it! There are many things I didn't include for spoiler reasons, but this should give you a basic idea of what HFTH is about and why I love it so much. 

I hope I convinced you to listen to Hello From The Hallowoods, and maybe you will love it as much as I do!