#first official calliope kiss

[eloise175]

First official calliope kiss!

(the first of many ^^)

[rinasred]

the thing that got me about the calliette tree makeout scene is that jules' dress was very much getting hiked up a little, like they weren't just normal making out in public, they were hardcore going at it

THEY LITERALLY WERE?!?!? they had literally no shame- they were out in the open too!?!? anyone could've saw them 💀 honestly never seen two people this down bad for each other they were literally so insane for that

[gabessquishytum]

Gabe I am kissing you on the mouth bc yes!!! Hob would be such a good influence on Dream! He helps him get his shit together during the tour and when it finally ends and they head back home, the offer is made for Hob to become their permanent guitarist. They had already spent most of the tour writing new material and so just two months after it, they already have a double album's worth of songs to record.

The recording process is smooth sailing. They're really meshing well as a band and being home around his son begets a wave of creativity that was unknown to him. He also cuts back significantly on the drugs so his mind could be focused at home with his son and the divorce proceedings with his wife. Calliope doesn't want anything really since she's made her money and prefers to be independent. Orpheus also finally starts to reconcile with his father. He even starts writing love songs again, first to his son and then to Hob. But he never tells Hob that these happier songs are for him. The press would rip them apart if they ever knew so he keeps it under wraps.

But with the record company happy with the new demos, life gets better. The bassist position filled by a long time and much-beloved musician Gault who Lucienne convinced to join when she saw her preform in a little club in Manchester, even Hob is better off when he finally and officially joins the band and gets some money coming in from it. It's his first real label deal since '76 when EMI had come sniffing around. He can now afford to send his son off to a really nice school and make sure he's cared for when he goes off on tour.

The record comes out and becomes their biggest seller. Their sound, while still a bit down, now has this air of optimism and pop sensibility. For the first time, they get offered a worldwide tour. Over two hundred dates in 15 countries. They play everywhere from LA to Capetown. They're giving interviews. It really feels like their moment has come.

But there's trouble on the horizon. First off, Constantine's drinking has worsened. He's a rockstar now and likes to party as such, which is a shame because now Hob has been chiding him for partying so hard. His work performance has been slacking and that's led to some fights. Which he finds hypocritical, as Dream has cut back, he hasn't gotten clean either. This leads Dream to rent a hotel room for a week and lock himself inside to sweat out the worst of the addiction. Which he does without telling anyone.

Hob obviously loses his mind looking for him and finds him on the floor of the bathroom, shivering like a shitting dog and so cold. He helps nurse him back to health, but by then it's too late. The tour starts and what a tumultuous tour it is! The first month or so, Dream barely has the energy to walk let alone give a three-hour performance. Lucienne loses her mind trying to manage his mood swings and Constantine's drinking problem. Gault nearly bails after the first show when he snaps at her for fucking up during rehearsals. Mr. Record Company also isn't happy with how expensive the set is to move and decorate which makes Dream threaten to walk. Hob has to talk him down. Even their relationship falters when they get hounded by paparazzi wherever they go and they start arguing over stupid issues. Like Hob sees a female fan getting harassed during their set and stops the show to have it out with the guy which leads him to jumping off the stage, over the barricade and into the crowd to fight him. Which is not a good look. Hob might be punk rock, but that's not their image. He can't be fighting whoever pisses him off anymore! Which plants it in his head that maybe him and Dream are a little too different for this work out.

I have more ideas like Hob being spotted during a show in LA when he sneaks off to go see Black Flag and gets fucking wrecked by the crowd who call him a sellout and bounce him from their space. He's not a real punk anymore! Or Dream's little catfight with Morrissey when he gets big, but I won't bore you anymore lol

🎸 (is this taken? if it is my apologies)

I'm still relentlessly obsessed with late 70s musicians au!! Here is the first part if anyone missed it! Thank you so much for giving us more 🎸 anon!!

I love the rollercoaster of this whole relationship. On the one hand the band is seeing so much success, and there's money, and the press is in a good mood for once. But fame brings so many issues and Hob finds himself almost missing the days when he was scrounging for gigs. He wants to make music and he wants to be with Dream but he's hyper aware - he's not immune to alcohol and drugs, he's a little scared that he might relapse when the stuff is just laying around in the dressing rooms all the time. He knows that Dream partly got clean for his sake but he hates seeing his lover in such a fragile state. Basically Hob is trying very hard to hold the whole band together: caring for Dream, dragging Constantine out of clubs at 3am so he doesn't get arrested again, trying to persuade Gault that it's really not all that bad, next week will be better... he's tired. He gets into more fights. He listens to a lot of Def Leppard. He's spotted outside strip clubs (mostly hunting down Constantine) and starts to get a reputation in the press as some kind of sleazy guy. Dream gets jealous even though he knows the truth. It's the most stressful period of Hob’s life and he is SO burnt out.

They have a couple of days off from the tour and Hob goes AWOL. Dream can't find him anyway, at the hotel or the bus or at any of the nearby cafes. Dream eventually finds him at a local church, just sitting hunched over in one of the pews. Dream can see that he's been crying, and suddenly he feels so awful for taking advantage of his friend, his lover. He's been so selfish but Hob still smiles at him and takes his hand. Dream ends up holding him in the empty church, rocking him gently and humming one of the songs that they've been writing together.

Dream tells him that they can go home. They can cancel the last 50 or so dates and just go back to Hob’s suburban home and get some fucking sleep. But Hob shakes his head and nudges Dream gently. The show must go on, right? No point in giving up now. It's just that they've all lost sight of the music somewhere along the way.

It doesn't get much easier, but Dream steps up a bit. Constantine is cajoled into toning down his rockstar behavior. Dream and Gault sweet talk the press by giving a few interviews and photo ops where they make sure to emphasise that Hob is NOT sleazy, he's actually a family man and a brilliant friend so everyone can fuck off talking shit about him. They even get a couple of other big name artists to say nice things about Hob. He's worked on so many sessions that everyone knows him. And yeah, there are some shitheads (and probably also johnny rotten) who call him a talentless sellout. But Hob is touched by how much effort Dream has put in to making him feel better.

And eventually they get to go home. Dream is still a shivery wreck but he hasn't relapsed, the record is still selling, the paps have calmed down now the tour is over so Hob doesn't feel terrified every time he meets Dream in public. Their relationship FINALLY gets more physical in private. They make love for the first time!! Dream finally sees the anarchy tattoo and writes a ballad about Hob’s wonderful arse (which will, mortifyingly, go on to be a top 20 hit).

Of course they're a pair of disasters and they have their ups and downs. But I honestly feel like their relationship is a rollercoaster that neither of them really want to get off. They're basically soulmates and however insane their lives get, they're always going to end up together.

[closetedbumblebee]

White Wedding (Addison Montgomery x Female Reader)

Weddings are supposed to be full of love, happiness and gratitude. A wonderful celebration of two souls coming together as one. Today was one of those days. Callie and Arizona were finally and officially tying the knot.

It was supposed to be a happy celebration all round; all the happy couples loved up, attending the wedding together. Meredith and Derek, Christina and Teddy, Owen and Amelia, Richard and Catherine, among others showed their support for the sweetest couple who were currently reciting their vows.

You sat alone in the third row from the front, extremely proud of your friends. You were smiling from ear to ear as they each walked down the aisle. You knew their story like the back of your hand, and couldn’t contain the happiness you felt when Callie and Arizona finally came through for the other, especially after the accident. They had come so far.

You felt a pang of sadness, taking a look around the room at all the couples. You wished your girlfriend, Addison was here with you, but she had to fly back to LA after Sofia’s delivery. You barely spent enough time together as it is, both of you living in separate cities, leading separate lives. You did, however have a relatively strong and healthy relationship, taking the time to have long phone calls, FaceTime, and send as many text messages as you could. You tried to sneak weekends away  to LA, also. 

But, things felt strained for the last few months, and you both felt the need to remedy that. 

The last time you and Addison saw each other was during her stay, which was 4 days long. You hadn’t seen each other for five weeks, and you could tell the strain was getting to you. But, you both pushed those feelings down to focus on your friends. After all, you were both doctors.

When you did catch up, you and Addison had a slight argument the night before she was set to jet out of Seattle. You sort of made up, but you hadn’t really spoken since, just the odd text and call here and there.

You reminisced… 

“Honey, I really want to stay longer, but I can’t. I’ve got patients to get back to and-“, Addison said sadly.

“We’ve barely seen each other for weeks on end, and when we do, you suddenly have to rush off again. I get that you have a new life now and I respect that. Of course I do, but where the fuck do we fit in?! When you took the job in LA, we promised we’d make each other a priority regardless of whatever happened. You only fly back to Seattle when Richard needs you. I’m busting my butt every other week, rearranging schedules, going out of my way to see you. Because guess what, Addison? I love you! Clearly you don’t love me enough, otherwise you’d be making some sacrifices” you snapped.

Addison was taken aback. You had never seen her look so sad and upset. You just missed her so much, and wanted to be with her. You instantly felt guilty for snapping because you didn’t mean to go that far and before she could say anything, you jumped in again.

“Shit. Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just miss you so much. You know that. I’m so so sorry”, you said, equally sad as you reached for her hand.

“We’ll, I’m not going to say that didn’t hurt, because it did. But I understand. I guess it was deserved. I’m sorry too, sweetheart. I’m gonna do better, I promise”, she said.

You held each other tight, “I love you”, you said in unison.

Addison was about to say something else when - 

Her watch beeped, reminding of her flight and you drove her back to the airport where you shared one last kiss.

It wasn’t the way you wanted to make up, but it was a start.

Upon arriving back in LA, she texted immediately.

‘I’m back. I won’t say back home, because it isn’t home. Never has, never will be. My home is with you. FaceTime with me tomorrow? I love you baby xxxxx’, she texted

“Me too, my love. I most certainly will. I’m so sorry again. I love you too xxxx”, you replied.

Things improved between the two of you over the next four weeks, before she told you she couldn’t attend the wedding…

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really wanted to be there, but I just can’t get away”, she said, evidentially disappointed.

“Oh…okay. It’s fine. I can try and film it for you. It’s not going to be the same without you. I love you”. You were sad, but you didn’t want to push her.

……………..

Drawing you from your thoughts, you noticed the last of the guests arriving before the brides made their voyage down the aisle.

“Excuse me, beautiful, is this seat taken?”, you heard a voice say.

You thought you were dreaming. It couldn’t be. You looked up, to see a familiar, beautiful face smiling sweetly at you.

“Addison?!”, you shrieked

You both started crying as she pulled you up into her arms, holding you tightly.

“Surprise”, she whispered huskily into your ear.

“What are you doing here?! I thought you couldn’t come”, you cried.

“I couldn’t bear being away from you anymore”, she said, smiling through tears.

You kissed her with everything you had, before she pulled back.

“I mean it. I’m miserable in LA. I can’t stand it there. So, I’m coming home - for good”, she said.

You didn’t exactly comprehend what she said at first, but then gasped in delight, wrapping her up in your arms. Looking around, your friends were watching you both, all clearly happy for you.

You and Addison still had a lot to talk about, but right now, you put it to the side when Callie and Arizona appeared….

Everyone cried during the vow exchange, and you and Addison shared sweet, knowing looks, never letting go of each other’s hands.

…………..

At the reception, everyone gathered around Arizona and Callie as they had their first dance as a married couple.

Addison wrapped her arms around you from behind and rested her chin on your shoulder as you watched the happy couple. You hugged her arms, and she reached around to peck you on the lips. You two couldn’t get enough of each other.

When it came time for other couples to join the dance floor, you and Addison wasted no time walking hand in hand to the floor. At this point, everyone was in their own worlds, all content and happy, buzzing from the day’s events, while you and Addison were completely wrapped up in your own little bubble.

“So….”, she said, arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close as you swayed to Shania Twain’s ‘You’ve Got a Way’.

“So…”, you repeated.

She jumped right into it. 

“I’ve missed you, my love. I really have. You are everything to me. I’m so sorry for making you feel otherwise. I shouldn’t have been neglecting us”, she said softly, her eyes not leaving yours.

“Addie, hey… No, please. I’m sorry - I had no right to go off at you. I should’ve been more understanding. You uprooted your life and that’s a huge deal; because you’re a big deal, babe. I thought about what I said to you that night, and it was completely unfair, way out of line, in fact.. I was just projecting my feelings onto you. I was so scared that by you moving would have jeopardised our relationship without thinking about anything else. It was me, I was selfish”, you said, sheepishly.

“In other words, you thought I’d cheat on you. That’s it, isn’t it?”, she asked.

You felt tears in your eyes. Blinking them back, you smiled sadly and nodded.

“Come on now, you know I would never, ever, do that to you”, she said.

“I know. I…know. I just should've been more supportive of you. I know what this opportunity meant to you”, you said, your tone apologetic.

“It’s not all on you, okay. I realised I was working longer hours, and I turned my back on us because I was so overwhelmed with all of it, and avoided you, because I think deep down, I was scared too. I was afraid of hurting you, and was terrified the long distance wouldn't work at first. So, I can see how you must’ve felt that way”, Addison said, gently touching your face.

You looked into her eyes, to see the tears shimmering like white diamonds.

“Baby…”, you said.

“Being away from you, not being able to see you, or hold you, or kiss you, made me realise that you, that what we have, is worth more to me than any job. So I told Naomi I quit, called Richard, and he offered me a new job”, Addison smiled.

“Oh, Addie, that’s great!”, you said gleefully.

“Yes, yes it is. But, the best part is that I am now Grey Sloan’s Chief of Neo-Natal Surgery. I’m officially the boss now, baby. You know what that means. This is going to be so good for us!”, Addie said.

You were crying softly and gently touched her face. You knew what this meant; Addison being in charge of her own specialty, back on home soil meant everything to her. She was determined to fight for her relationship with you, so being the boss meant she could make her own rules and schedule. But, not only that, she deserved that title; worked hard for it her whole life; and you were determined to fight to the ends of the earth for her. 

It hit you then that she was really back.

“You’re home?!”, you asked, almost in shock.

“Mm-hmm. I’m home, baby”, she beamed.

“No more messing around, no more arguments. This is it - you and me. No more turning back. I want to fight for us”, she continued.

“I want to fight for us too”, you said back.

You smiled brightly at each other, feeling more connected and more in love than ever.

She was just about to kiss you when you heard the clinking of champagne glasses, as Callie’s father, Mr Torres called for a toast.

“Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate my beautiful daughter, Calliope and her wonderful new wife, Arizona on their special day today. These two have gone through hell and back to be together. I have never felt prouder of my little girl, than I do today. I look around the room, and see it filled with such love. It’s a really beautiful thing. Real, true love is a once in a lifetime feeling, so if you’ve found it, hold onto it with both hands and never let it go, because it’s one crazy ride. Ladies, I congratulate you both on overcoming your obstacles and finding your way to each other. I love you both so much, my dear daughters. To Callie and Arizona!”, Mr Torres exclaimed, full of pride.

“To Callie and Arizona!”, everyone said.

The newlyweds kissed, before turning their attention to the wedding cake.

You and Addison watched the whole exchange, extremely proud of your friends, grateful to be a part of their special, historic day; however, deep down, you both pictured this day of your own, in your not so distant future.

Addison and you shared a look, and you both just knew. This was the path you wanted to take.

“Forever and always, Addie”, you said, winking at her.

“Forever and always, Y/N”, she repeated, clutching your hand, bringing it to her lips.

[insufferablelust]

Revelation (Spencer x Reader)

imagine thats Older!Spencer :)

Warnings : Dom!Spencer x Sub!Reader, heavy daddy kink, belting, shameless smut, a bit of size kink i suppose, pet names, degradastion by name calling, punishment, squirting, gagging, just a dirty dirty daddy Spencer smut, subspace and huge  fluff! and reader is his goddess. :)

Masterlist Here.

All you could feel was exhaustion, exhaustion that lingered from the very tip of your skin to the rattling of your bones. The soft musk of Spencer’s scent filled the room so nicely, bringing you to an edge of calmness, you are home— with your love, your baby, your daddy.

You smiled as you tug your scarf down , placing it gently above the couch before you call out to the very man that owns your body and soul, “Spence?” the exhaustion was prominent in your voice, even though tried to brush it off.

“In here, kitten! wait a sec.” He yelled, jogging down from the kitchen to where you were sitting at the couch, He smiled tenderly with the kitchen towel perched on his shoulder, he looked so domestic, so much of the boyfriend-ness of him yet the way he holds himself is daddy, your daddy.

He immediately gathered you up on his arm, plopping down next to you and bring you to straddle his waist, “So pretty, so so pretty, i miss you, kitten.” He whispered, pressing a delicate kiss on your lips as his hand rest on your throat- the very side of your pulse.

You giggled a little, nipping his lower lip, pulling back only to whisper a tiny “i miss you..” kiss “daddy.” Heaven is what you are, he thinks. Because here he is, having the knowledge of everything, absolutely everything this word has to possibly offer yet.. nothing, nothing feel as complete as you. as having you perched on his lap, being good.. such a good little girl.

“Look at me.” His voice changed a little, it was deeper, huskier that it caused the sweet nectar flowing down south from the heat of your belly. God, your eyes snapped to his.. your socks covered feet tucked under his knees as he gently, just gently press his palm against your pulse, tightening his grasp— not enough to choke you yet enough to draw a pleasure filled gasp emitting from your sinful lips. “daddy—“

“Shush, been a good girl, haven’t you?” He cooed gently, his other hand slide itself around your waist to gently rub your back with calming warmth. “Uh huh.. The test went well today..” You murmured, eyes still focusing to his as you latched onto his strong arms.

You are 10 years his junior, you practically met when he was holding a lecture on the academy where you trained to be an agent.. an FBI agent just like him. The first gaze you laid upon each other, ignited the fire like no other, the desire and lust and.. gentle itching feeling of blossoming crush embedded deep inside both of your insides, practically screaming at yourselves to just.. get to know each other.

Getting to know each other, you did. It started off as a nervous filled dates, though he was a proper gentleman, bringing you on classic dates to libraries where you would borrow books you both haven’t read or something you just want to read and then reading it together on the window sill. Your first kiss was over a cup of coffee perched on the sill with Anna Karenina on your lap and Russian Literature on his, the kiss was magnificent that you were sure that if soulmates were real, he was— is your soulmate.

The first time you were intimate with each other was a rather cliche experience, cliche and romantic. After the 5th official date where he asked you to be his, you both went to his place which funnily was only a block away from where your apartment building sits. Rounds and rounds, you both savored the moment like you were made for each other; Ares & Aphrodite, Apollo & Calliope, Orpheus & Eurydice. The first one was gentle, desire filled love making against the bed, where he touched your skin like he touched your soul, where he kissed your lips like he kissed your fluttering heart, where he thrusts into you like a mad man, your mad man.

The next round varies, from the one where you were both on the edge of the bed when you accidentally slipped out the word “daddy.” which only made him thrust harder with an impossibly loud groans of “Call me that again—fuck!”. There was one where he choked you, fucking the soul out of you that you both ended up on the floor— not even bothering to stop by then. After the 4th round, you were both spent.. spent and absolutely basked in heavenly reality— reality that will always engulf you both.. Soulmates.

“You’ll nail it, i know you will, daddy knows best doesn’t he?” He chuckled, but his gaze darken, his grip tighten, and his head.. his head tilted in a mocking way, not mocking your ability of course but rather.. ‘Daddy Knows Best, Doesn’the?’ You knew then he found out, found your dirty dirty little secret that you tried to keep hidden (or at least for the most part)

You see, a week ago, Spencer left for a case— a pretty short one though you were desperate every time you separated from each other. You missed him so much, missed spencer but also.. you miss your daddy, your rock, your dominant. You missed his touch, missed his cock, missed his kisses, fuck you missed him so much that you were willing to break one of his most important rule. ‘No touching yourself without daddy’s sole permission, and no cumming without his permission too.’

You knew you could’ve asked, could’ve begged for him to make you cum over the phone but you couldn’t.. one part because you knew he was busy, and you had to wait at least until midnight to get him to call you.. but the other part of you, the nasty brat he calls it, was eager to be punished, to be settled back on its place. You craved the way his palm.. those genius palm slapped your ass and cunt raw until they sting so painfully that you knew you wouldnt be able to sit down tomorrow. You craved the way you were on the brink of consciousness as his hand choke your neck like he owns you.. and yeah.. he truly owns you.

So you did the most obvious, you touched yourself, you came without his permission, and you used the new vibrators he specifically asked you to not use it until he comes back. 3 rules broken and you were happy.. giddy about it. But know that he knew, you felt.. almost guilty, lust still covered you, the severe thrill still clouds you but you feel guilty, guilty that you have disappointed your daddy.

“Daddy, I—“

“Shh, Good girls gets to speak, Brats like you gets nothing.” He hissed, demeanor changed 180 as his grip tighten as much as he could and his palm goes from giving you calmness to slap your ass cheeks like you were his punching bag. You mewled and whined, before he hoist you up his arm, to move both of you to the bedroom.

“Gonna show you just what nasty desperate kittens like you get, gonna ruin you like a rag doll.” Thrown you into the bed like a rag doll is exactly what he did, you bounced a little before propping your body with your elbows to watch him sauntered over to the closer. “Was going to make you a nice dinner pet, romantic and shit, but you just had to be a slut.. for daddy huh?” He said from the closet, making you bit your lip in guilt.

“Please daddy, i’m sorry!”

“Told you to stay fucking quiet.” He rasped, pulling a few things from the closet, then making his way back to where you were laid, clothes already off. “But, i was just—“ He cuts you off by pinching your nipples hard as he placed a handcuff, a belt, and a gag— a ring gag to be exact.

“Since you can’t keep your filthy whore mouth shut, i’m going to place this—“ He grabbed the gag, carefully scurrying it around your head, “There you go, looking like a cute slutty brat that you are.” He pats your head, before securing the handcuffs around your wrist up above your head.

“Aw my baby drooling already? You’re practically begging to get your face fucked, princess.” He cooed, god he’s so different in private like this, he knows every one of your weak spots, every word that makes your heart leaps and your pussy clenched, every damn move and touches that have you begging for more, yearning for more, and being so needy over it. A man like Spencer, thrived in the feeling of having control over something for extensive amount of time, he doesn’t mind not being the typical alpha male on the streets, but here in his sheets every night— he’s the predator, and you my darling, is his frail prey.

The only thing you could let out is a pathetic mewl as he slapped the skin of your gorgeous breasts, his gaze hungry as he trailed them down your body, your gorgeous curves, it almost as if he’s worshipping every damn mark and inch of skin— silently thanking whoever made you possible for how your body just as it is.

“beautiful, could be eating you out right now, but you decided to be bad.” He tsk’d, causing you to whimper and buck your hips which he slapped your thigh for, “No buckin’ up on daddy. Be good.”

Be good,

Be good,

Be good, Y/N.

Suddenly, suddenly your eyes droops just a little, you were still so still you held in your breath, your cheeks warmth as you feel yourself entering the very very fuzzy space where the only thing that exists is Y/N and Daddy. Be good, she has to be good for him because she has disappointed him again for being a— your thought were cut short as he cup your cheek, noticing how your body language changes, your daddy always knows after all.

“Shh, you’re good princess. hey are you with me? want me to stop? take the gag off, little one?” He cooed, as you momentarily shake your head with such eager, gesturing for him that no.. no you don’t want him to stop, you did a bad naughty thing and you need to be punished. Spencer has spent all his time studying your behavior, your every little detail— expression, body language, every damn thing to know just what it is you want, you need, you.. crave.

“Alright but if you feel any discomfort you’ll tap daddy with your legs okay? you can even kick him, daddy won’t mind..” He chuckled, which earned a strangled laugh from you— “Oh go and speak now angel, love watching you all messy and drooly.” He laughed, before flipping you so that you were laid face down with your ass up as your hips being propped up by a pillow.

Crack!

So sudden , it was so sudden, the loud impact sound of his belt against your skin echoed on the very walls of your room. Your head thrown back as your saliva steadily running down your chin, your eyes breaming with tears, and you let out a very very adorable strangled cries. “Fuck, thats it, take it, take your punishment and maybe, just maybe daddy’ll be a little lenient towards you tonight.”

Crack!

Crack!

Crack!

You didn’t count, you lost track of how many times the harsh leather has hit your skin, now burning with tremendous guilt and burning lustful desire. Your tears soaked the pillow case like a damn river, yet he didn’t relent not until he felt like you’ve learned your lesson.

and honestly.. you wouldn’t ask for anything else.

-

“Pretty girl, so so good for daddy shh, come here.” He wrapped you up in his arms as he remove the gag and handcuffs altogether, you were a panting drooly mess as he presses tiny loving kisses on your forehead— body completely engulfing you in his warmth. “D-daddy.. am i.. am i forgiven?” You hiccups, looking up at him to seek for comfort.. for his forgiveness, his his his.

“Oh sweetheart, i wasn’t mad at you, was just putting you back on your place. You’re so so good for me.” he cooed, gently easing you up his lap, trailing his fingers from your hair down to your arms, your tummy, and heading further south. “I love you daddy... thank you for correcting me.”

Spencer could drown, drown inside your pretty eyes, just get lost in it forever, until he suffocates and die a happy man. He would be the prisoner in your version of heaven no doubt, he was never a religious man, but if there’s a higher power— it’s you, a damn goddess— his true revelation.

“I love you too, sweetheart. Let me take care of you okay?” He whispered, positioning you properly, your back against his chest, your head adorably tucked under his chin, and your thighs spread with his knees below yours. You were a giggling mess, hazy in your space but so so drunk on pleasure, “Please please please!” You whimpered greedily, trying to grind down on his bare cock.

“Patience is virtue, angel. Let’s get you nice and ready hm? know you’re too tight to take all of me.” He whispered, which resulted in you yelling— cutting him off a little way too loudly.

“But i can! i can take it, daddy! please let me show you!” God you didn’t know what you did to him, what your damn gorgeous eyes did to his psyche, to his cock. Begging like that, making him wants to ruin you, making him wants to release the very very hungry beast inside of him— ruin ruin ruin you oh so beautifully.

“Alright, you asked for it. Don’t go blabbing about being too full, you brat.” He smacked your thigh before positioning his hard, thick hard long cock on your entrance, slowly pushing his impossible length up your tummy. “Oh! oh oh! daddy!” You cried, cried and mewled like a kitten.

His length was not even halfway in and yet you were filled so fully that your head spins. “Take it, just a lil more, doing so good.” He rasps, feeling your cunt impossibly tight around his cock, warm and snug. “Please daddy...” You whimpered, not even know what the pleading was for but you pleads for him— with him.

When he finally got all his length stuffed deep inside your weepy cunt, his mouth nip and bite at the skin of your neck, trying to hold back the grunts as he moves slowly, thrusting up to your tight cunt.

“Fuck so damn tight, kitten.” You shuddered as the tip of his cock hit your spot perfectly, he was in so deep that all the sound that dripped from your lip was ‘ah! ah ah! d-‘

“Take it, take it, take it.” Was all he chanted as he settled you so you seated up right on his lap, before bouncing you up and down his length. Spencer was deeper this way, way way deep inside your walls, massaging every pulsing need you’ve held for awhile.

“So big! so— oh! please daddy faster!” You moaned wantonly, bouncing yourself up and down his cock, gasping as he places his palm on your tummy where the imprint his cock nestled deep inside you was so prominent that he cried out loud. “Feel it huh? feel it deep inside your tummy?”

“Yes yes yes oh fuck! S-Spencer!” You knew just how much he loves it when you moaned his name, so even in your fuzzy space, you moaned it, because you love him and he was practically fucking the living soul outta you. “I love you— fuck me i love you, gonna cum hm?” He whispered, moving his hand down, down down down then pressing his thumb on your clit to rub it.

“Daddy no! no i-i’ll make a mess!” Of course he knows this, knows that the burn on your ass constantly slapping against his thigh turns you on like nothing else, knows that his cock was filling you up so good that you could practically feel him inside your throat, knows that the rubbing of his thumb will have you squirting on his cock in no time.

“But daddy— shit, daddy wants you to make a mess, go on little one.. make a big mess.” And so you did, you did hard— squirting on his cock like river was streaming down your cunt, your walls pulses around his cock like a vibrator and the grip was like vice, sending him to absolute bliss himself— cumming inside you shortly after as you shake and writhe above him.

“I love you Y/N fuck— fuck i love you so fucking much.” He fucked you through your and his orgasm like a mad man, burying his face on your neck as his cum was buried inside your cunt. You were panting so hard, body still shaking as he leave trail of kisses on the column of your throat before tilting your head to kiss your lips softly.

“D-Daddy?” You meekly whispered, lips trembling as you spoke after he hummed, “can you stay inside? want to keep you inside please..”

And who’s Spencer Reid to deny his goddess’s wishes

-

xx,d

[nurseofren]

Keeping Your Promise - Chapter 29 (NSFW-lite)

Read on AO3 | Read on Wattpad

Read chapter twenty-eight (NSFW)

Title: ASSISTANCE REQUIRED

Words: 5.6k

Summary: I am very uncomfortable with the vibe we have created in the studio Infirmary today...

Warnings: mentions of abuse, suicide

ST Rambles: So... I graduated nursing school. And will be taking my licensure exam next month and start working as well...

In my time away, other than the above mentioned accomplishments, I've been reading a lot of books and even went to see an internet friend just last weekend. Life got insane and I needed to focus on school, and I do appreciate the patience and enthusiasm.

I hope this was worth the wait. I hope the next part will be even more so ;)

[MASTERLIST] || BANNER // @elmidol

Fucking, fuck!

“I know in academy you were told to pierce the skin at a forty-five-degree angle, but it works a lot better if you-,”

“Go in at a fifteen-degree-angle, go parallel to the skin. I know,” you huffed, embarrassment burning your skin. “That’s not the issue. I do that. The issue is-,”

“That is the issue,” Silver corrected, interrupted. Your preceptor-for-all-intents-and-purposes crossed her arms and stared at you with hard, unyielding eyes. “You won’t listen to me,” she spat. “You are the issue.”

Calliope Silvren, or “Silver”, as she’d informed you upon meeting, was everything you were supposed to be. And you hated her for that fact, hated her for that and so much more.

She was intelligent and concise and respected, she knew everything and made sure you were aware that you didn’t. During the past eleven hours, not with so many words, Silver had made it clear that you were never supposed to be here to begin with, that hers was the name in the original provider candidate pool and you were nothing but a fluke, a nobody, nothing.

Compared to Silver, compared to Calliope fucking Silvren, who’d graduated valedictorian, who had star-white hair and golden skin, whose eyes were a harsh sea of frozen cerulean, whose legs were long and lips were full and head was high and posture was perfect – compared to the program’s prototype? What were you other than a fluke? A whim? Compared to her, how were you anything more than the fascination you’d been labeled as from the very start?

As you stared up at her, her height almost that of Kylo’s, and felt the wrath of that frozen sea that resided behind her glare, you couldn’t speak. Every word of defense left you, and your mouth dried and your chest hollowed. Because her words not only rippled through your head but echoed through the unit’s halls so every nurse and physician and maintenance worker had heard them. Heard her and how superior she was, heard how incompetent you were.

Silver knew what she’d done, could feel the eyes of her coworkers gawking at her scolding; you knew by the smallest quirk to her lip, the slightest tick in her platinum brow. She had you trapped and on display, and all you could do was stand here and take it. The Board was watching, and so was Hux – CB-7070 always shadowing ten paces behind – you had no choice but to remain neutral-faced and silent.

She spoke your name and it was beautiful, a voice like sugar even when it slithered and bit like venom, “We’ll pick up tomorrow. If you absolutely need me, I’ll be organizing my report sheets for the oncoming shift.” When no one was looking anymore, her eyes narrowed and she leaned in. “Busy yourself for the next hour.” A sneer slipped past the benevolent mask she wore. “Don’t need me.”

With a steel spine, she whipped past you, stalking off toward her task, the white of her hair streaking from your periphery. And there you were, clutching an IV starter kit – missing the needle, much like you’d missed the vein – trying your hardest to keep from showing any emotion whatsoever. Less people were gawking now that Silver had left, but you still felt eyes on you. Whatever lay in those lingering stares, pity or humor or apathy, it all burned you, reminded you how temporary you were. Not only in this place – the “Infirmary” as the staff referred to it – but in your life, as well.

Smoothing the skirt of your uniform, you cleared your throat and turned to do as you were instructed, catching CB-7070’s visor for a second before peering around the unit. She faced you, and even though you couldn’t see her face, you knew she may be the only one around who was on your side. The white of her helmet glinted as she gave a small nod in your periphery. Yeah, she wasn’t so bad, no matter who she’d report to the second you got back to the Consulate.

The Infirmary was a large unit, and, unlike any place you’d practiced in since graduation, it was efficiently staffed and stocked. Safe nurse-to-patient ratios, sufficient supplies, and an allocated provider available for any emergent orders or treatments. It was a surreal representation of the “hospital utopia” you’d heard of all throughout school.

But, aside from its apparent perfection, some characteristics of the unit confused you, but you didn’t ask about it because no one else seemed to think it was weird, and Silver didn’t exactly foster a great learning environment.

What struck you first was the Infirmary’s construction and layout. It was all glass, floor to ceiling windows that offered full views of each patient in their respective rooms. You’d watched the sun dance across the sky as the day went on, nothing hindering you from the beautiful view of the sea beyond the fanned-out city below. The only thing that offered a semblance of privacy for each patient was the wall-spanning mirror positioned in front of their beds. None of them saw each other, but it was still odd that there seemed to be no concern towards the errant lapse in privacy policy the design created.

At the center was the nurses’ station, large and circular, a skylight fixed right above. The staff used the lack of patient privacy to their advantage, peering above the counter to make sure their assignments were doing alright. Their assignments who were all under the age of twenty. Some much younger, just grasping at adolescence, others kissing young adulthood – those seemed much worse off, something darker rimmed their eyes, ghosted behind the lifeless face all of them wore.

It was a strange environment to be in, even more so due to how vague the progress notes were, history and physicals extremely short and never too in depth, especially when it concerned anything related to the patients’ family history or living situations. Something seemed off, something that tugged at you and made you yearn to break past the flat affect each patient met you with.

So many were here for a few hours and then gone the next, a constant influx of admissions and discharges. But, so strangely, there was never any patient education given, never any parents or guardians for the younger ones to go home to. They were always escorted from the unit by two “official personnel”. And watching their faces as Silver told them they were done with treatment and could leave, it killed you to see the faintest slash of fear quiver their bottom lips.

Beyond that, beyond seeing these younglings so fearful and defenseless, what clawed at your gut the most was that none of them had a name. They had no birthdate information, no address listed, no family contacts entered or even offered. They were all in the system only by the letters “FL” followed by a code of eight numbers. The nurses would refer to them by their room numbers to make it simpler, but none of them shared your concern for the lack of identity these patients were plagued with.

Yes, something seemed off, seemed wrong here. Something waswrong here, but you feared you would be gone before you ever knew what that was.

From the corner of your eye, you saw a tray left on an isolation cart next to a door. Heeding Silver’s command, you approached it, discarding the IV kit and feeling CB-7070’s focus catch your every step. You’d passed this door frequently, never seeing anyone approach it for longer than a few seconds at a time, assuming it was a closet for extra supplies or scanning machines. But the meal card on the tray indicated differently.

This was a patient’s room. The room number matched, there were no other doors labeled with it that you could see. No staff paid you any attention as you peered around. The only one watching was your white-armored shadow standing against a pane of glass.

Shrugging to yourself, feeling you couldn’t possibly get in trouble for delivering a patient’s food, you said over your shoulder to CB-7070, “I’m taking this in. I shouldn’t be long. Don’t follow me in here.” More to yourself, you sighed, “Even if I am the only one here concerned about privacy, I’d prefer not to violate anyone’s rights on my first day.”

CB-7070 nodded. “Affirmative,” her modulator croaked.

A swipe of your new badge gained you access past the door, a whoosh of air whipping through your skirt as it closed behind you. It was pitch dark, the only light coming from a holo-chart programmed into the wall. It appeared you were in an antechamber, those that often came with isolation patients, but there was nothing indicating this patient had any infection or ailment that necessitated a gown or mask.

The air was stale, like nothing and no one had stirred it in a few days, and the only glass visible was that of a window peering into the room beyond – or, it would be peering, were there not closed blinds on the other side of it.

You saw yourself in that darkened pane, clutching the tray to yourself, the first glimpse you caught of your face since the start of shift. Truthfully, you looked awful. Hair frizzed at your temples, a sheen of oil had gathered on your forehead, and exhaustion was evident in the puffy bags beneath your eyes.

But it was an earned appearance, no matter what Silver wanted you and everyone else to believe. Today you did your best and you interpreted and communicated abnormal findings, you assessed every patient without bias and documented everything you did. There were things you were unsure of, not having performed many skills while being assigned to Kylo, but you always asked for help, even though you realized it would be met with disgruntled aggravation after the first few times.

You had done everything right, understanding the consequences if you didn’t. As far as you were concerned, and even as much doubt as she’s caused you in the singular day you’ve known her, Silver was the problem. Not you.

And, not for nothing, the IV you missed earlier… not entirely your fault.

Kylo Ren picked the wrong day to Force-edge you. Or maybe it was you who really initiated the torture, but he’d been the one to follow through with his threat. Every hour had been memorable.

The first three had luckily occurred when you were away from patients but did earn you a few wary glances from the unit staff, your jaw set firm as you gave them a reassuring nod, hoping they couldn’t see how badly you were shaking as your cunt spasmed toward orgasm, but never got there.

There was something vicious in the rate at which he was forcing you toward the edge. Even though you couldn’t see or hear him, you felt like he was tormenting you with spite in mind rather than pleasure, like something you’d said or thought had angered him.

You didn’t have much time to consider that, though, as the hours went on and you’d begged the stars that the slick slipping from your center wouldn’t go past the hem of your dress. A few times you’d cursed the damned uniform, but quickly turned to cursing Kylo Ren for the ever-so-slightly too high hem. It’d surprised you that he never acted on those silent curses aimed at him, that it hadn’t earn you another hour riding the edge of pleasure while choking down the gasps and moans he’d surely intended to draw from you.

During lunch, you’d found a corner and ate alone, speaking to the wall and scorning Kylo under your breath, spitting empty threats, telling him to stop, to slow down. When that hadn’t worked and the Force picked up in pattern and pressure, nudging your clit just right, your hands had clamped around a plastic fork as you held on for dear life. He was nowhere near you and you’d almost cum four times over the course of your twenty-five-minute break. At that point, you’d considered begging him to let you cum, but part of you knew that would only lengthen his schemes.

Other times during shift, when Silver was rolling her eyes when you’d asked for her help, you’d felt the light, teasing lance of the Force trail along your neck. When you were priming tubing for a new admission, you’d felt the strange, unseen presence caress your ear like Kylo’s tongue might. And one hour, right after the previous had left you wondering if you’d be able to stand the next time you needed to – that hour where you’d traded your curses for pleading, traded the harshness you were spitting for the simple, hushed breaths you needed to outlast the never-ending torrent of pleasure he kept surging through you – the Force was kinder, something sentimental in the way it’d weighted your body like Kylo would, draped itself along your shoulders as sweat dried on your brow and the shaking of your legs settled.

A delicate, “Thank you,” had breathed over your lips when the Force – when Kylo’s teasing – seemed it would let up for the remainder of your shift.

But, of course, that peace had been temporary, a strategy to lapse your guard, to make you vulnerable when you’d most needed a clear mind and a steady hand. It had started with the gentle lulls you’d been left with, a stroking tendril swift over the column of your neck, the tourniquet tight to the patient’s arm as you poked their forearm in search of a vein. And when you informed Silver you’d found one, the Force deftly switched its attention to your pussy.

Silver had been scrutinizing you before, but when your shaking hand and short, shallow breaths appeared as fear instead of the pleasure they were born from, her brow had narrowed that much more. When you’d anchored the vein and aligned the needle – at her all-important fifteen-degree angle – your hand had shifted, jumped as your thighs tightened and you fought to trap a moan in your throat. It was an accident that the needle pierced the patient – and, worse, through the vein – at a greater angle, and it wrought you with emotion. Guilt for hurting the patient, shame for screwing up under Silver’s icy appraisal, and unyielding anger for Kylo Ren for causing your fuck up and not being able to explain that.

So here you were, taking the brunt of criticism and punishment for a mistake you wouldn’t have made had it not been for Kylo Ren, and studying your reflection in the scant light offered from the holo-chart of a patient you hadn’t known existed up until three minutes ago.

“Kylo,” you breathed, reaching for the second badge-scanner, “I can’t look bad here. The Board is watching. Hux is watching.” You glimpsed the radar fastened to your wrist, directing your tired eyes at Kylo’s indicator like he could feel your attention on him. “Give me this last hour and let me be good. Let me do well. Let me prove that I can to everyone who believes otherwise.”

A few seconds passed by as you waited for a reaction. Nothing came. The Force remained absent from you, and your shoulders dropped in relief. With a final glance at the chart, noting the patient’s identifier and checking it against the meal ticket, you swiped your badge and the entrance rushed open.

Darkness met you once more, but this darkness was heavier somehow. Not in the way untouched rooms are usually heavy – not with dust or grime – but a heaviness that clutched at your heart. It pressed into you, taunted you even as you remained a step outside the threshold. It was only shadows, unmoving and unremarkable darkness, but it clawed at you. It writhed at your feet and stirred your heart.

This was the darkness that lived behind each of those younglings’ eyes, but here it was concentrated, like this was the very source of it. Like this was its home.

“Hello?” you croaked, still not daring to pass into the shadow-thick room.

No answer, not even a stir. Nothing but that unyielding darkness.

You cleared your throat. “I, um, I have your dinner.” You took a small step forward. “Sorry for the wait… if there was one.”

More of the same. More of nothing.

A light switch entered your periphery with your next step, and you reached for it, but before you could flip it—

“If I wanted it on, do you think I’d be sitting in here like this?”

The voice was weak, small, but not that of a child. Not even that of an ill person, or an elderly one. It was male, though. Boyish, but not a boy’s. Somehow, the voice was young and old at the same time, as if the boy had lived long years already, and those years had worn him down.

The voice was a singular stream against the dark’s thick, silent wrath, and it was hollow, empty like the shadows before you should be. As the question ended, you found that it wasn’t bitterness or pain that lived in its tone, but rather a broken apathy, like whoever this was had cared and fought for so long but had ultimately lost in the end.

“Not that anyone here is really concerned about what I want,” came the voice again, an edge weighting its words.

Finally, you stepped completely into the room. You had to swallow a gasp when the entrance at your back locked shut. The tray jostled in your arms, but you succeeded at remaining upright.

With a sugary tone, you asked, “How will you eat if you can’t see your food?”

A huffed laugh, tired and bitter. “You should work on that nurse voice. Not very convincing.” A long, deep breath filled a few otherwise silent moments. “Send that tray back. Give it to someone who wants it.”

Without your “nurse voice”, you said, “Why did you order it—”

“—I didn’t. I never do. I’m being kept here, why would I want to sustain myself to make my stay that much longer?”

“Kept?” you whispered.

The longer you stood in place, the more your eyes adjusted. The room was still suffocated by the swamp of darkness, but there was some light after all. Scant, but there, a beam of the setting sun speared the room, and from what you had begun to make out of the body in front of you – a small form curled in the center of a bed – you found he was staring out of the broken blinds from which it came, like he was looking at something. Looking forsomething.

“Kept. Held prisoner. Restrained but not restrained because thatwould make this whole operation illegal, right? Whatever way you want to put it, I’ve made it obvious I don’t want to be here.” A long pause and a sad sigh. “Starvation is a better fate than most here, anyway.”

The more he spoke, the clearer it became that his voice wasn’t hollow, but burning with quiet fury. For what, you weren’t sure, but you realized this was the first patient who had spoken all day. And his tone, his words, only solidified the fact that there was something very, very wrong going on.

You walked closer to him, past the foot of his bed until you saw where the small slant of light was focused, what he continued to brokenly fawn over.

“What are you looking at?” you asked, leaning down so you could match your view with his.

He turned his head from the mostly covered window, the creak of light only possible through a bend in the blinds, and he looked at you, a flash of realization spreading through his features before he reined his expression into a void of dull emotion.

He stared at you as you stared at him, appraising you just the same. He was young, but it appeared as though his youth had been leeched from him. Long dark brunette curls framed his face and teased his shoulders, heavy with oil inherent of unkemptness. An immense sadness lived in the downturned state of his mouth, a contrasting anger set in the crease of his brow. And when you finally found his eyes, you restrained a shiver, as the deep hazel burned with that cleave of sun and struck you with the anvil of pain and desperation that lived in them.

He wasn’t alarmed at your proximity but confused. With a shaky voice, and something of a weak sneer biting at his mouth, he said, “You’re a sick, brutal cunt, you know that?”

“What? What do you—”

“What am I looking at? Do not patronize me!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“Are you stupid or just cruel?”

“I’m not either, I—”

“You’re both!”

“I’m temporary! I don’t work here! I’ve been here for one shift! I’ve been on this planet for one day!”

Without missing a beat, but less heated and more restrained, the boy said, “Just stupid then.”

He continued to glare at you, but your eyes wandered back to the break in the blinds, and with narrowed eyes you found something that resembled a racing track. It was far out in the distance, but you knew that was what he had been focused on, sure of it by the way his demeanor shifted when you looked back down at him.

“Help me understand, then, if I am so stupid,” you whispered.

“You aren’t any different from the others, no matter if you’re temporary or not. Whatever that means, anyway.” The boy’s jaw set so firm you swore you heard it crack. “You don’t want to understand. If you did, if anyone cared so much, the Infirmary wouldn’t exist.”

“I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Help me?” the boy barked. He considered you for a moment, sun and shadow warring across the hollows of his cheeks as he did. Those pained eyes narrowed a fraction. “Who are you? What does temporary mean?”

You leaned away from him, straightening your posture and setting his tray on a counter off to the side. You offered your name, just the first, and dragged an absent-minded finger over the embroidery of your uniform. “Temporary means…”

Perhaps it was his already non-existent trust in you, but you did not think that informing him of the real reason you were here – telling him that your license and life were on the line and you were here so the Board of Physicians would have ease in their decision to end your life or not – would do much to foster his confidence in you, you took a second to frame it in a way that would appeal to him.

Clearing your throat, you kept his stare and said, “Temporary means that I’m here for less than two weeks, and I have no loyalties to any staff here. Temporary means that I do care so much, and I do want to help because temporary also means that I’ve seen some weird shit today, and I don’t understand it.” The boy’s brows raised for a fragmented second, but you knew you’d gained at least a small portion of his respect, so you continued.

With a lowered voice and an unbreakable stare, you said, “Temporary means that I am on your side, and if you let me, if you help me to understand what is going on, I will help you as best as I can.”

The boy shifted, ringing a hand around his opposite wrist, toying with the identification band secured there. He never stopped looking into your eyes, and you knew he was searching for deceit, but the longer he stared, the more he came up short.

You offered him your hand, observing how he flinched away from it, but keeping it extended as he considered it for another few moments.

“I told you who I am. Will you tell me who you are?”

It seemed like the darkness that surrounded you was watching with bated breath, watching in awe as the boy’s gaze remained on your extended hand.

He swallowed, and ever so slowly, with a hesitation that struck through your heart, he lifted his hand and clasped it around yours. The light from the broken blinds coiled around your matched hands, and for the first time today, you felt hopeful. And no matter how dim and breathless it was, a flicker of that same hopefulness played through his eyes.

“I…” the boy hesitated, so you squeezed his hand and offered a reassuring nod. His shoulders relaxed with his next breath. “I am Quynnland. With a ‘Y’.”

“Quynnland,” you parroted, trying it out and letting his hand go. “Do you have any nicknames? Like Quynn? Quynnie?”

“No one calls me Quynnie!” he roared. “Nobody calls me that except…” Quynnland shifted in bed, away from you, turning his face back toward that racing track. His bottom lip quivered, and he appeared as if you’d just lashed him with molten plasma.

“Quynnland,” you soothed, “nobody calls you that except who?”

He remained quiet, but he shuddered, and you saw the light glint off a stream that found its way down the slate of his cheek.

“I want to understand. I want to help you.” You swallowed against your throat, which had become markedly thicker since you last spoke. “Please, help me help you.”

Quynnland’s chin rose, his eyes fell shut, and he balled his hands into tight fists. He wasn’t angry, but in pain, and you knew from the sight of how broken he was that he’d been in pain for a long time now. Perhaps, it seemed, he had never known a day without it.

Just when you were about to speak, Quynnland coughed against a sob and whispered, “They won’t let me see him. He’s there on his own. He’s never been alone for this long.” A tight breath whipped into his chest. “They’re keeping me here so I age out. They’re keeping me away from him.”

“Who is he? What are you aging out of?” The more he offered, the more questions you thought of.

“I almost got us out this time,” he whispered. “I almost saved us both, but they caught me and dragged me away from him. He’s young, but that never stopped them before.” A wheeze of pain slipped from Quynnland’s lips. “They probably broke him just enough so he could still work.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, so you kept quiet.

After what seemed like an eternity, Quynnland spoke again. “My brother. That’s who gets to call me ‘Quynnie’. That’s who I tried to save, and that’s who is suffering because I failed.” He pushed an aggravated sound from his lungs. “The only way you can help me, is if you help him.”

“How do I do that?” you asked, watching as his fists relaxed at his sides.

Quynnland opened his eyes and bore the full weight of their pain into yours. He took a long breath and squared his jaw. “You get him away from the wardens, and then you get him out.”

“Where is he?” you asked, needing to know what that racing track he kept glancing toward was.

He went to answer, but a rush of motion sounded beyond his door, and just as quickly, the entrance to his room shot open. Quynnland ducked his head and balled his fists, and you turned to see that it was Silver who stood in his doorway. She wore an unfamiliar face, one of shock and terror, and you went to speak, but her hand whipped out and signaled that you would notbe saying a word until you left this room.

She stared at Quynnland a moment longer, surveying him like she’d never seen him before. “Eat your dinner. I won’t have you starving to death under my license, not now that this will be your last stay here.” Silver more so talked at him rather than directly to him, and her tone was hard and full of disgust.

It gave you another reason to hate her.

You wanted to reach out and take Quynnland’s hand, but Silver snapped at you before you could. “You,” she sneered. “Out. Now.”

The ice behind her eyes had seeped to her tongue, and her words froze the very blood in your veins. She watched you as you stepped around her and into the antechamber, and you glanced the final withering, aghast glare she shot at Quynnland as you did.

When you reached toward the door that opened to the hall, Silver caught your wrist just before your badge met it. She was eerily silent for a moment, and you swore she was practically shaking with rage, but then she settled herself and stared down at you with such concentrated antagonization that it knocked the breath right from your lungs.

“What made you think you could go into this room? I never went near this room with you today. Why would you be allowed to enter it alone?” She was seething, but she hid it behind something of a gnarled smile.

“There was a tray just sitting outside, unattended to. I figured I would find something to do and deliver it to the patient. No harm done.”

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes on you. “Are you aware what this patient is here for?” she asked sweetly, but it came off as clear condescension.

Silver waited for you to answer, but you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction she wanted from humiliating you again. So you remained silent, and she sneered at you. “Exactly what I thought. So why would you interact with a patient you know nothing about? And did the double security not tip you off that you were somewhere you shouldn’t be?”

“Look, Silver,” you huffed, enjoying the disgust that smeared across her features as you said her name, “I saw a tray. I had nothing better to do. My badge had access to the room. I’ve done nothing wrong.”

She cast you an undying glare, and her eye twitched when she gave you a once-over. “This patient willfully tried to kill himself and his brother last week. Did he tell you that?”

Your heart blackened, and your ears rang with silence as she let her words sink in.

Silver was pleased with your shocked silence. She went on. “Oh, and did he tell you just how many times he’s tried to do this exact thing in the past?” You remained wordless, feeling betrayed for reasons you couldn’t understand. “No? Not even a guess? Well, he’s a unit regular, if that gives any indication.”

She waited again and was once more elated to be met with silence. “It’s the same story every time. The wardens say he takes his kid brother to the shore and plans on swimming out to the Falls and either drowning to death or dying from impact.”

You swallowed in vain, mouth drier than sand. A part of your knew you didn’t want the answer, but you still asked, “How old… how old is his brother?”

A sick, deathly smile creaked across her perfect face. “Of course, we don’t know exactly, but previous scans estimate that he’s no older than seven.”

Seven. A child. Quynnland had tried to kill his brother… had tried to kill himself and his kid brother…

“Next time, don’t poke around business you don’t understand,” Silver cut your panic short, her frigid tone icing your skin with gooseflesh. “Your shift is up.”

She shoved your shoulder on her way past, but before she could activate the door the room filled with bright red light, and a shrill alarm screamed through the ruby darkness.

It was your watch.

Endless, screeching notes sounded from your wrist. Your stomach dropped, and you couldn’t think for a moment, completely thrown back to that last hour on Starkiller Base.

Kylo was in trouble. Kylo was hurt. Kylo needed you and you weren’t there.

When you lifted your arm as your heart sank through the floor and you read the continuous scrawling message, your feet pounded the ground and carried you away from the unit to wherever he was, wherever your radar was guiding you.

All you could think of was him lying under you, his blood slipping along your skin, and his still, comatose body. And as you made your way to him, not seeing the world around you, hardly aware of CB-7070’s footfalls booming behind you, you kept rereading the message that raced along your watch’s screen, and as you turned corner after corner and fled down hundreds of steps and staircases, the simple, abbreviated message taunted you with the past.

ASSISTANCE REQUIRED ASSISTANCE REQUIRED ASSISTANCE REQUIRED

As it scrawled endlessly across the small screen, all you could think of was how this felt too familiar to the day Starkiller exploded. And the only thought that remained, the only one out of the thousand that flooded back from that day, was that you would fight for the future you’d realized you wanted then.

Only now did you admit the full truth of that thought: the only future you wanted was one where you could be with Kylo. The only future worth having, you realized, was the one where you would spend it with him.

So you ran toward your future. Just as you had run that day not so long ago, you ran toward Kylo Ren.

[tomatograter]

Do you have a list anywhere of your favorite hs fics?

I suppose it’s appropriate I make one now! will prolly come back to add on at some point, but as it stands

HERE’S THE FIC RECS: (it is quite long, click the readmore)

Last updated Sept 10 2021 !

Perpetuity => https://archiveofourown.org/works/12835047

Written pre-epilogues, largely about mending damaged bridges after the game. I always mention this fic as what settled me back into hs as a fandom and dirk/jake

A Palate Cleanser  =>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/21642637

The jake eulogy we missed on candy. it’s real good. (now with a podfic version on the second chapter!!!!)

It’s only a canvas sky

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28718544

Their guardians dead at the hands of the Condesce, growing up in the shadow of her slow takeover of the Skaian Federation, Dirk Strider and Jake English have spent their whole lives alone up until shortly before their twelfth birthdays.

Or: Dirk fixes a transmitter, makes a friend, builds a robot, and tries to communicate affection over distance to the barest possible minimum.

(A good mix of fluff/angst/yearning, captures early & friendship dirkjake REALLY well, a good analogue au to their canon upbringing!!)

Sburgatoria  => https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726822/chapters/49242167

What if we were four lesbians stuck in an uncanny valley real housewives purgatory-esque-suburbia and we bickered then kissed 😳

Prologos 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23961157

“Sadstuck for the discerning jakeliker”

Magnesium Ion, Porphyrin Ring  => https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787465/chapters/51988876

Jade + Jake exploration throughout their growing up years, the relationship they had to their guardians and to one another between split realities and time. 

I Know What You Think Of Me  =>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516589

You never knew you wanted vriska and jake to be friends but now…. you do! and they’re going to gut a mountain of salmon to get there. Hilariously masterful vrisrezi to boot.

What Happens In-Between =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240424/chapters/58409713

i KNOW you aren’t done with jaded fisheries observer vriska just yet and for that i’m thankful to say, we have a sequel, and dirk is in it to her great annoyance

Drive it home with one headlight  => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19281412/chapters/45856705

The Hitchhikers Guide to Your Ex-Boyfriend ==>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747519/chapters/62875855

EXTENSIVELY ILLUSTRATED!!!! Post-canon fanadventure focusing on jake, brain ghost dirk, and a very concerned third party inhabiting jake’s brain that isn’t all too happy with the current turn of dubiously canon events. Still updating, very fun and smart.

The Four Kings, the God Thief, and the Black Diamond Pirates =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17886581/chapters/42220607

DIRK AND VRISKA. PIRACY. SONG. HOES (JAKE)

Sea shanties for Thots (Four kings sequel) =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22210135/chapters/53028541

jake needs to adjust to his new life and occupation overseas, ft; more songs, more piracy, and schrodinger’s hoe. Extensively jake-introspective, told through his POV.

Song of the Pyre =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10875459/chapters/24161439

EPIC SCALE vrisrezi space opera ft. hardass legislacerator Terezi & outlaw Vriska being forced to work together after they sort-of-accidentally kill terezi’s shitty clown ex. Feelings are caught, trials are held, there’s a revolution coming. Delightfully written. Reads as pretty solid and complete despite the 19/21 chapters done - ACT 1 counts as a book of its own, ACT 2 is solid.

Pilot Light, Pale rapture (full series)  => https://archiveofourown.org/series/1403233

“They want you on Olympus, they want you on a faraway star watching the planet turn benignly. They want the original Gods in the four corners of the earth, protectors in an invisible palace. “And the Witch sat vigil in her southern eastmost realm, looking down upon her descendants,” they’d say, “and saw that it was good.

You do not have an Olympus. You have a house that smells like burnt toast, because Davepeta did just that only an hour ago.”

Prospit kids + Really Good and Fun earth C shenanigans ensue. Incredible insightful exploration on Jade, her childhood, and mostly what happens after the curtains close and she finally has time to be awake.

After Meat, Aftermath. (full series)  => https://archiveofourown.org/series/1420354

In one universe, college!au Rose lalonde takes barre classes. In another, arguably more relevant one, Rosebot peers into her life. this will lead to inevitable chaos. incredible rose + kanaya + vriska + jake + dirk focus and one of my fav AU’s.

*below are my favorite dirk-focused works:*

Detective Pony

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427119/chapters/5371283

At first I didn’t include this one, having taken for granted that everyone had read it already, but I think as of ‘21 the fandom is a bit different and not many have. Facts being: this is the definitive solo Dirk Strider story; seamless with the detective pony book dirk edits in homestuck-proper, deeply indulgent, funny, and cathartic, one might even say. Also an audiobook and a webseries, if that’s more up to your speed!

A Eulogy for Laplace’s Demon  (After Meat, Aftermath spinoff)  =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20047735/chapters/47475769

A good jump-in point for AM,A but hugely more focused on dirk arguing with his own demons. Doesn’t pull any punches.

Dualshock Desertbloom =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18428552/chapters/43651733

Dirk wakes up in a scalding liminal space and splinters his beta self out of his body like an amoeba parting in two. It’s a Predicament. They have to learn how to cohabitate if they want to try to figure out what the fuck is going on, and Dirk can’t help but prod and poke around to learn more about his twisted-funhouse-mirror-self along the way. Really meaty character-study, some of my favorite dirkvoice (and brovoice) passages are definitely all over here.

House of Dirk => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19156126/cha pters/45530146

dirk and caliborn, in a sitcom, holding hands. nothing bad could ever possibly happen

Timaeus, Testified. => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19479223/chapters/46368625

“go crazy go stupid!!!!!!” - dirk strider, metamonster

*Fun / short / thoughtful stories:*

Two idiots at Homoville, N69, TX

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130925

Dirk freaks out and goes on r/relationships to try and figure out how to mend the semi-relationship he has with his weird roommate. (hint: his name starts with J)

Light Without Effulgence

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25986289

Rose is having a writer’s block. Jake is bored in the middle of his family’s own vacation. They sit down to mercilessly pick at each other’s brains, and the results may surprise you (not clickbait)

Interrogating the text from the wrong perspective  => https://archiveofourown.org/works/615521

(Calliope and Rose have fandom wars. Its really funny)

Witching Hour  =>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620732

Eschewal  =>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/4284384

jake goes ham

Dreamscapers => https://archiveofourown.org/works/22455073/chapters/53653849

Stygian blue =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23946412/chapters/57588850

Terezi and brain ghost Vriska have a conversation. (illustrated!!!)

Bitter =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30871334

Jaw-dropping JadeRose comic oneshot; meta, jealousy, crushes, and girls being a little off.

*FANADVENTURE CORNER:*

CHOICELESS HOPE

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28100313/chapters/68850048#workskin

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE.

You have been searching the depths of the FURTHEST RING for CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND, PRETEENHOOD NEMESIS, TEEN SWEETDIAMOND, and POSSIBLE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, VRISKA SERKET, for what may or may not have been THREE MONTHS.

-

Near the start of her search for Vriska, Terezi is offered a choice.

KITTYQUEST

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=32792&p=2

Centuries in the future, the daughter of jade harley and davepeta pierces together what it is like to grow up knowing your parents and much of your extended family are immortal beings. Incredible art, lots of really really fun cameos and incredible worldbuilding (Not epilogue compliant, barely credits compliant, remains one of my favorite extended pocket universes to this day.)

FAILURE TO LAUNCH

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=34750&p=1

It’s june egbert’s first night out! From the official TV programme summary; “Starring the one and only JUNE EGBERT! Who knows what shenanigans will ensue… Wild hootenannies? Late night pizza picnics? ROMANCE??? Tune in and find out on FAILURE TO LAUNCH!” this can only ever end well, right?

THERAPYSTUCK

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=36345&p=3

That’s right, buckos. The lot of you are going to therapy. Turns out after a member of the tight-knit god community (Sollux) decides to seek a little help, more shenanigans were sure to follow.

[shameless-selfship-indulgence]

Fixing the Homestuck Epilogues To Give my S/I’s Story the Prologue it Deserves

Part 1: Relationships

First of All CallieRoxy is SO Real

Rosemary Exists Too Because Duh

Second: Turns out that when Dave had that conversation towards the end of Homestuck where he basically tried to come out to John (and then John asked if he and Karkat were dating and Karkat changed the subject) It turns out that what Dave was TRYING to do was confess to John with Karkat as his WINGMAN

So Dave confesses to John and John is like “Sure I’m willing to try dating!” and they actually have a great time for a while? But the thing is that John’s way of dating is kind of weird and lukewarm? Like, he LOVES cuddling Dave and kissing him on the cheek but he’s also super oblivious to anything more?

Meanwhile Karkat has HUGE crushes on like. Both of them? And eventually he gets in on it too but because of John’s weird obliviousness “It” is mostly just sleeping in a cuddle pile every night, and that’s not bad. John and Dave are still the only ones who are technically dating, but he seems to have no sense of like. Wondering what’s actually going on. He just kind of IS and he’s happy to be there with Karkat too.

Also: The Strilondes and Crockengharlberts have these family movie nights where they hang out with each other in their different family groups. Kanaya and Calliope usually hang out with the Strilondes, while Karkat hangs out with the other four. This helps Jane get over her distrust of trolls.

FIVE YEARS AFTER THE GAME ENDS They all go fight Lord English (Karkat, Kanaya, and Calliope stay behind.) The Alpha kids get stranded in Caliborn’s room, but not for long, since the Beta kids travel back when they finish killing LE. They bring Terezi, Vriska, and Davepeta, who they found in the Void when they were fighting.

Then Things Get Weird because it’s pretty obvious that John and Terezi have sexual tension? So John Dave and Karkat have a feelings jam. And John describes what he feels for different people, and they realize that John is aromantic, but has sexual attraction. He is NOT sexually attracted to Dave or Karkat, but he still wants to be with them. Dave says that he USED to feel attracted to John that way, but actually dating him has turned the way he loves him into something else. So John officially has a bigamous QPR with both Dave and Karkat, and Dave and John give each other permission to sleep with other people.

SO John and Terezi start fucking (caliginously), and Dave and Karkat follow soon after. So JohnDaveKat is real, but Dave and Karkat are Red, and Aromantic John is A Physically Affectionate Pale with both of them.

Around This Time John also realized that the feelings he had for Vriska were Gender Envy and not Romance and begins her Epic Juneification.

ALSO Jade and Davepeta are Dating

In addition there’s just. A SHIT TON of Giant Friend Group Dynamics that I feel are generally understated? Like. These people hang out in big groups and have sleepovers every night and hug and tease each other and make everybody feel included and loved. Jade and Jake are best friends, Dirk and Calliope write shitty fanfiction together and try to outdo each other in terms of Pure Shittiness, Jane would KILL for Karkat, Vriska, June, and Terezi hang out and pull pranks like the shit goblins they are...and it’s just. So good.

ALSO THEY ALL LIVE IN THE SAME GIANT MANSION I feel like that’s important context. They live in a mansion. They are roommates.

[clownsgobeepbeep]

❝ I thought I’d seen a ghost. ❞

Mmmmm

Some Garden Bud finally uwu

@grodygabe ‘Cause Cordie is kind of in this

“Hi Auntie!”

“Hello Phoebe.” Jelly grinned as she looked down at the little moth that jumped around, the only thing holding her down being the hand that held onto hers. 

“Do you like my new shirt?” Phoebe motioned to the blouse she was wearing, a Sailor Moon design present on it. “My papa Peri bought it for me when we went to the mall yesterday!”

“It’s so pretty Phoebe!” Jelly exclaimed before turning her attention to her father beside her. “Your daddies must be jealous they don’t have such an awesome shirt.”

“I know they are, that’s why I don’t rub it in their faces.” Phoebe giggled as she looked up at her father.

“Come in, come in. I was just working on some lunch for everyone.” Jelly moved out of the doorway to her home. “How have you been Vespers?”

“I’ve been just dandy.” Vespers grinned as he walked into the house with Phoebe, seeing Jelly close the door behind them before they were all led to the living room. “Not much to report other than Cosmos and I spent the day together since it was his day off. My dad took Phoebe to the mall while the boys spent some time with Cuckoo and Calliope’s kids.”

“That sounds like a really nice day.” Jelly picked up some toys that had been scattered around the living room floor, some being some tiny boots that were clearly dirty. “Phoebe, do you want to stay with me and your dad, or would you like to go play with Cordie?”

“She’s home?” Phoebe’s eyes lit up.

“Yes she is, so is Davey but my sleepy little sailor is taking a nap.” Jelly ruffled Phoebe’s hair, then motioning to the hallway. “You remember where her room is, right?”

“Yeah!” Phoebe nodded before speeding away, leaving Vespers and Jelly alone to talk.

“So,” Jelly clasped her hands together. “Shall we go to the kitchen?”

“Sounds good.” Vespers nodded before following behind Jelly, taking a seat on one of the stools in front of the counter that Jelly resumed working on the lunch she had planned out. “So how’s the park coming along?”

“Well,” Jelly gave a breathy laugh as she reached over to grab a bowl filled with pieces of meat that she placed on her cutting board one at a time. “ A good portion of the park was destroyed, thankfully not more than fifty percent. The Kingdom took the most damage….it’s all coming together again.”

“That’s somewhat good news.”

“Yes...we should be opening again some time in the summer.” Jelly cut into the small pieces. “At least I have the aquarium and the pier up and running, so the money was made up with that business.”

“The aquarium is fantastic, Phoebe and the boys are still amazed at the Great White.” Vespers gave a chuckle. “I thought no aquarium could hold a Great White.”

“It’s not illegal or not allowed,” Jelly glanced up at Vespers with a tiny smirk. “Nobody is able to keep one alive.”

“No one except you.” Vespers gave another chuckle as Jelly gave a smug shrug, continuing to cut the meat. “Is that fish?”

“Clams. I hope you don’t mind, but Cordelia wanted some clam chowder and that’s what I’m making.”

“Your chowder’s always good so I don’t mind.” Vespers watched the tiny pieces be scoot to the side with the knife. “Should have guessed you make it all from scratch.”

“My chowder is made from the freshest clams Vesp. These are my latest catch.”

“Yummy.” Vespers commented before turning his head to the side, having heard some footsteps. “I hope the girls are making such a ruckus.”

“It’s Phoebe and Cordelia, I wouldn’t be very surprised if they went to the moon right now.” Jelly gave a laugh, keeping her attention on the clams she was chopping before other ingredients followed.

“True.” Vespers looked back at Jelly, but immediately whipped around again at the sound of more footsteps. That was when he felt a jolt of fear spread through him. Well, it was really just a slight scare as he spotted something new at the end of the hall that he had been checking on.

“God, you scared the hell out of me.”

“Did I?” 

Now Jelly turned her attention to the same spot, blinking in curiosity before she too noticed the new figure.

“Oh, hi Bud.” she greeted before her cooking continued once more. “It’s not the first time he’s spooked somebody. One time I woke up in the middle of the night and saw him down the hallway. I thought I’d seen a ghost.”

“People never tell me that I’m scary, but I’m glad you think that.” smiled the newcomer that stepped towards Vespers’ location, looking up at him with a smile filled with pride. 

“Good afternoon...Garden Bud.” Vespers blinked down at the doll, watching him as he locked eyes. The doll did not look away, looking deep into his own eyes for a while that made a slight shiver run down Vespers’ spine. Eventually, Bud turned his glass eyes away with a blink before he walked around the counter to where Jelly was.

“Where’s Ula?” Jelly slightly eyed him as he made his way over to the fridge, looking up at the fridge handles that he could not reach.

“Can you give me a hand?”

“Why don’t you eat from your own fridge?”

“I don’t have any strawberries.”

“Well maybe if you didn’t eat them all at once you’d have a lot more.”

“He has his own fridge?” Vespers blinked in surprise before Jelly gave him a look.

“Ula got him one of those mini fridges and she has it in her room next to the small bed she got him.”

“Of course.” Vespers’ eyes fell on the doll whose own eyes were trailing up and down Jelly’s figure from behind. “I think you have a little, uh…”

Jelly looked up at Vespers before turning around, immediately frowning at the sight.

“Do you want me to bring out Godzilla?”

Garden Bud instantly looked up at Jelly with wide eyes, his head shaking rapidly.

“Uncle Vespers!” they all now heard, everyone turning to the end of the hall where they now saw Ula. “I didn’t know you were visiting today.”

“It was a last minute plan with your mom.” Vespers spun in his seat to accept the embrace Ula offered, feeling her plant a kiss on his cheek. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good, done unpacking everything.” Ula took a seat beside him, taping her long nails on the counter. “Gonna go hang out with the beaus a little later.~”

“Atlas was telling me.” Vespers turned to her. “I never got to ask, how was the trip? I heard you made a new friend.”

“Oh yeah, his name’s Richard. He’s such a bookworm, maybe even more than Atlas.” Ula gave a laugh. “We traveled together for a bit and he decided to come to town since he’s never been here.”

“Oh. I see.” Vespers raised his eyebrows, glancing over at Jelly who gave a shrug before she turned to start putting the ingredients into a pot. 

“Oooh! Uncle!” Ula gasped before hopping off of her chair, fast walking around the counter where Jelly and Garden Bud were. “Bud!”

“Bud?” Vespers blinked as he watched the doll be swooped into Ula’s arms, apparent surprise as he was rushed over to Vespers.

“Uncle! Could you make some little clothes for Bud?” Ula widely smiled at her uncle whose eyes trailed down to the doll that looked up at him in anticipation. “I’d obviously pay you for it, you just name your price! Bud’s been needing some new outfits since he can only rely on the official Garden Bud toy ones, they’re not always very fashionable.”

“I would like some new outfits.” Bud raised his eyebrows at the thought of it.

“Outfits...for Garden Bud?” Vespers continued to look down at Bud, realizing that he was being carried like a child would. His gaze then lifted to Ula’s features, almost seeing a twinkle in her eye as she looked at him, full of hope. “What outfits did you have in mind?”

“Possibly some jeans ya know. Some sweatshirts, hooded ones. I really need him to have a winter coat, he gets really cold and I have to wrap him up in a blanket like a baby.”

“I’m not a baby though.” Bud replied, Vespers snickering as he remembered just how Bud was being held.

“When do you want to start measuring him?”

“We can do it some other day.”

“Why don’t you just do it right now?” Jelly suggested as she wiped her hands. “Vespers is here and I doubt it’ll take very long. I’m almost done with the chowder and I still have to make some sandwiches for it, we can continue talking when we eat. There’s some measuring tape right over there.”

Vespers saw Ula reach over the counter to grab some measuring tape, handing it over to him with a big smile. He couldn’t resist smiling back at her, even if her killer doll was creepily staring up at him.

_____________

“Can I have a clown outfit too? I wanna look like a clown!”

“Could you hold still?” Vespers dropped his hands on his lap with a sigh.

In front of him was Garden Bud, standing on top of a small stool Ula had brought over to help with the measuring. That was over twenty minutes ago, when Vespers started measuring the doll.

“Bud,” Ula sternly called out to the doll, the latter turning around to face her. “No moving.”

“Okay, okay.” Bud stood erect and with his arms extended out, absolutely no movement as Vespers resumed his measuring. Until- “But can I have a clown outfit?”

“Garden Bud!” Jelly shouted from the kitchen, the doll once again standing still. “Good boy.”

At the sound of this, a slight tint of pink appeared on his pale features. At least in his somewhat flustered state, Vespers could finally get some proper measurements out of the doll.

“Are you going to want some shoes too?” he asked Ula who had been sitting beside them.

“Nah, I’ve found plenty of those.” she waved a hand, right before placing a finger on her chin. “However, I’d appreciate it if you could make him some small blankets. Doll ones aren’t exactly the warmest ones.”

While Vespers and Ula continued on with their conversation,. Bud lowered his arms that fell at his side as he began to clutch onto his corduroy overalls. He didn’t know what else to do; he didn’t want to move from his spot because doing so could make Ula or Jelly upset. He couldn’t have that.

But!

It wasn’t until his little nose caught a scent that he wondered if they really would be upset...

Garden Bud turned to the side, eyes squinting while he lifted his nose. Sniffing the air led him to look over to the kitchen. The scent was clearly not coming from here. He then turned his attention to the hallway beside it, realizing that the scent was coming from there.

He blinked once as he caught sight of something red and almost shiny in the distance.

Right on the floor was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen in his little doll life, but not as beautiful as Jelly of course. But right on the floor was a single strawberry, just waiting to be eaten by him.

He took one last between all the adults, deciding that there really wouldn’t be any harm in going to pick up the lone strawberry. He hadn’t eaten anything yet after all.

So, he quietly made his way over to the strawberry after hopping off of his stool, nobody batting an eye over his absence. The strawberry clearly did not belong to anybody, for he knew that nobody would discard a strawberry in such a way.

Bud made his way over to the fruit, waiting a moment before swiping it off the floor. He giggled to himself, wiping it a bit on his bandana before eating the entire strawberry in a heartbeat. Stem included. And before he could make his way back to the living room, his eyes widened at the sight of another strawberry.

Once again, he went over to the strawberry, then seeing another. And another. And another. And another. He typically would have devoured one after the other, but he found it best that he hold them all in his little hands so that he could place them in a bowl to enjoy.

The doll was quite content, giggling at the sight of the many strawberries some unknown force had been gifting him. What made him ecstatic however was the pile of strawberries he found in the middle of a bedroom he had unknowingly brought himself into.

“Oh boy, have I found the jackpot.” Bud clasped his hands together after dropping the previous strawberries, sneaking on over to the pile to scoop the whole thing up. But before he could do that, Bud heard the door shut behind him, just as found himself being the one scooped up

“I got you! I got you!”

“You got him! You got him!”

Bud found himself in an extreme grip, making him shriek in a panic as he swung around in the air.

He looked behind him as best as possible, his shrieking continuing as he realized he was in the hold of Ula’s youngest sibling as her cousin stood beside her with a terrifying grin that matched Cordelia’s.

“I finally got you! And now we’re all gonna be friends! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

The only response that came from Bud was another ear piercing screech as he wiggled as harshly as possible.

Immediately, the bedroom door swung open as Jelly and the others stood in the doorway with concerned expressions.

“Cordelia, what is going on!?” Jelly exclaimed, hearing a final scream come from the doll who finally managed to wiggle out of Cordelia’s grasp. Right then, Bud fell to the ground and wasted no time, making a run for it between the adults’ legs as the strawberries were completely forgotten about.

“Oooh! He wants to play tag!” Cordelia excitedly jumped around, dashing through the doorway as everyone was shoved away. “Hi Uncle Vespers!”

“Hi?” Vespers awkwardly said before looking over at Phoebe.

“Let’s get him!” Phoebe squealed, soon following suit before she was grabbed by Vespers. “Dad!”

“Don’t hurt the doll.”

“We won’t!” Phoebe replied before Vespers found the space where Phoebe had been in empty, the little moth having appeared behind everyone as she ran after Cordelia and Garden Bud.

“They’re gonna tear him apart.” Ula quickly walked away, going faster as she heard cackling come from Cordelia.

“Cordelia!”

“Phoebe!”

As the adults called out to their respective child, Garden Bud run as fast as his little legs could take him. After having gone down the hallway and back into the living room, he desperately looked for a good spot to hide in. 

There weren’t many spots he felt the kids wouldn’t find him in, but there was one that they probably wouldn’t predict him to be in.

He ran to one of the pieces of furniture that also happened to be a small house, a small house for Ula’s cat Samhain.

Bud got onto his knees as he attempted to crawl inside, realizing that cat was already in his desired place.

“Shoo! Get out! I need this spot more than you do!” the doll ushered the cat away, receiving a growl and then hiss before Samhain actually ran off, no doubt to steal Garden Bud’s bed.

“Where’d he go?” he heard Cordelia ask as she looked around the living room with Phoebe beside her.

“Guys! Can you just let him go for now? You scared the heck out of him.” now Ula’s voice sounded.

“Girls, why don’t we just stop and go eat?”

“Are the hammies ready?” 

“What are hammies?”

Bud watched through the opening of the cat house, seeing Phoebe’s legs, for she was not as distracted as Cordelia over the sandwiches Jelly offered.

He tucked his little hands against his chest as he sat with his back against the surface of the box, almost shaking as Phoebe’s legs drew closer to his location.

“Phoebe, come on over here.” Vespers called out to her. “Your aunt made some clam chowder.

“Oh boy!” Phoebe jumped, quite thrilled, this in turn causing her walkman to slip out of her jacket’s pocket. “Shit!”

“Phoebe!”

“Sorry, sorry.” she giggled as she crouched down to pick up the device, stopping once her fingers touched it. Eventually, her face came into view, right before it turned to look inside the little box. “He’s in here!”

Before anybody could react, the little door burst open and the doll attempted to rush out of the scene.

“Get him! Get him! Get him!” Phoebe pointed as Cordelia got ready to chase once more.

“No, don’t get him!” Jelly grabbed Cordelia by the back of her shirt.

Bud, having been looking behind, never realized that Ula had been standing in the direction he was headed to. He crashed into her legs, giving a shriek of terror as he believed that he was once again caught.

“Relax, silly.” Ula bent down to grab his small form, hugging him against her chest as he held onto her sweater, glaring at Phoebe and Cordelia. “You’re safe now.”

“Thank fuck.”

“Awww! We never get to play with Bud!” Cordelia stomped a foot before her hand was taken by Jelly’s, the latter leading her to the dining room to sit down in front of some prepared chowder and sandwiches.

“You can try again after you and Phoebe eat.”

“Okay!” Cordelia grinned, motioning to Phoebe to come over, so she ran to the table and plopped down on the seat next to hers. Soon enough, Vespers and Jelly joined them as Ula made her way down the hallway.

“Little girls are terrifying.” Bud commented as he leaned his head against Ula’s chest. “You should never have kids.”

“I should never have kids?”

“Exactly. Stick with me and dump your boyfriends.”

“Why should I dump my boyfriends?”

“I mean, why do you have two boyfriends? Two is too many. In fact, one is too many. You don’t need boyfriends.” Bud posited, not bothering to look at Ula who quirked her eyebrow at him. “Boyfriends are too needy. They give you kids.They cling onto you and get mad if you pay attention to someone else.” 

“Hope that doesn’t hit too close to home.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ula stared down at Bud, giving him a smile and chuckle, as he was left in confusion.

[multishipperlove]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Constance Clay, Caduceus Clay & Cornelius Clay Characters: Caduceus Clay, Constance Clay, Cornelius Clay, Melora the Wildmother (Critical Role) Additional Tags: Trans Caduceus Clay, Trans Male Character, Clay Siblings - Freeform, Naming Ceremony, Caduceus is baby, Reference to Episode 106, No Spoilers, POV Constance Clay Summary:

What if Caduceu's idea to have every person that decides to leave Vo leave behind a stone with their name behind came from personal experience? What if Caduceus, too, left behind another name at some point?

*

Constance was tending to the garden, cutting off all the faded syringa flowers so the bushes would blossom a second time in the summer, when she heard the excited pitter patter of quick footsteps approaching. Turning around just in time she saw her youngest- well, second youngest now- child running her way, throwing himself at her legs with a wide smile and even brighter eyes. “Mama mama! Guess what Calliope and I just found!”

His current volume made her more glad than anything that she'd left little Clarabelle with Cornelius, but she simply smiled and leaned down to pick him up, settling him securely at her hip as the little boy wrapped both arms around her. “What did you find, darling?” she asked, now seeing Calliope coming over as well, much calmer than her brother though.

“We found my new name!” he told her proudly, ears flicking forward for a moment. “An' Calli even told me it starts with a C this time, so it's a good name.”

“Is that so?” Constance wasn't quite able to hide her amusement, even as Calliope finally joined them. “It was very nice of you to help him with it,” she told her oldest daughter, reaching out with one hand to smooth her hair down.

Calli just shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, but it was still obvious that she enjoyed the praise a little. “Someone had to help him with his letters, right? Or he would have picked another name with K instead...”

“And that would have been alright too,” Constance agreed, tapping her son's nose though as he immediately stuck his tongue out at his sister, making him scrunch up his little pink nose in indignation. “But I have to admit that it makes me very happy that you decided to keep the family tradition. Should we tell everyone at dinner then?”

The boy in her arms hummed softly, before shrugging as well. “I was kinda hoping we could wait until aunt Corrin comes back? She's been gone so long now, I miss her... and I want her to know about it, too.”

“We will write her a letter, how about that?” she offered instead, tucking her sheers away in a back pocket and taking Calli's hand, taking both of the children back to the house. “I know you miss her, but it might still take a while before we see her again.”

Holding back a sigh she lead them to the little washroom first, making sure they were at least a little bit cleaned up for dinner. Mud and firbolg fuzz didn't mix well. She missed her sister too, but Corrin was doing important work at the moment. It was the price they paid for their service to the Wildmother sometimes, and with a bit of luck she would be the last Clay to leave on these incredibly long missions. They had to find a cure at some point.

Despite her attempt at reassuring him, she could see her son's ears droop again. “But I was really hoping she'd be here for this,” he mumbled. “She was here when everyone else was named...”

“Now, that's not quite fair,” Constance chided him gently. “She was here when you were named, too. When she left, we didn't really know yet that we'd be introducing you to the Wildmother a second time, did we.” For the longest time they had gotten by with nicknames, calling him 'little bug' or even just 'little one', since he just hadn't been able to decide on anything else. All in all it hadn't been a difficult change for them, very easy actually as long as it made their baby boy happy. But after witnessing the naming ceremony of little Clarabelle, he'd started to demand one for himself as well. Apparently they were getting closer to that now.

He still grumbled about it as he leaned into her side, dragging his feet now on the way to the kitchen. With a kiss to his temple she picked him up again for a moment, before securely settling him down in his chair. “Now, no pouting. You had such exciting news to share.”

-*-

Caduceus. The new name turned out to be Caduceus.

Constance had to admit that it wasn't a name she would have thought of herself, but she loved it fiercely. It was unique, and a little bit eccentric, and in her opinion it fit their little boy perfectly. It had gotten approval from everyone else as well, and now that they'd spend a few days preparing for the ceremony they were ready to make it official.

They had all gotten up a bit earlier than usual, before sunrise, and while Cornelius had stayed behind to get the children ready, Constance had already made her way to the small clearing where they held most of their important gatherings. In the early twilight she placed down a few pillows and adorned the shrine with fresh offerings. Flower cuttings from their garden (pink carnations, Caduceus' current favorite), a fresh loaf of bread with a small bowl of salt beside it, a jar filled with clear water, a few ounces of incense. A humble offering, all in all, but it was all they had been able to give on such short notice.

Leaving the incense unlit for now Constance took a quiet moment to herself. She prayed, despite already feeling secure in the knowledge that the Wildmother would accept her son as he was, just as she had accepted him as her daughter just a few seasons prior. He would grow up in her light and guidance, know her love as surely as his family's, there was no doubt about that. No, what she asked for was guidance for herself, to make the right decisions and help her son become the man he wanted to be one day, whatever that entailed.

Eventually she could hear her family approaching, mainly Cornelius trying to hush the children as they reached the sacred space, and turned around with a smile to greet them. They were all dressed in some of their finer cloth, all looking a little excited, except for Caduceus himself who was holding on to his father's hand rather tightly and seemed to be all but hiding behind his legs.

“Someone's a little nervous,” Cornelius told her, one corner of his mouth raising into a loopsided grin. “But I think we got everything we need.”

“That's good,” she replied softly, leaning down for a moment to give Caduceus a gentle kiss on the forehead. As she straightened up again she took the colorful bundle of cloth that Clarabelle was wrapped up in, glad that the baby was at least quieter than she'd been for her own naming ceremony. Leaving Cornelius with their little boy she went to settle down with the two older children, making sure to give them each a kiss in greeting as well. They were both obviously tired, not quite used to getting up this early, but at least they still looked genuinely excited for their brother.

Returning her gaze to the shrine she saw Caduceus and Cornelius standing in front of it now, her husband kneeling down as he helped clumsy hands with lighting the incense. Then they pulled back, Cornelius keeping his sturdy arms around the small frame in front of him.

“We are here today,” he started, his deep voice ringing out, clear as the daylight that slowly started filtering through the canopy, “ to introduce an important addition to our family. And we ask you, Wildmother, to take him in as your own, as you do for all children of Exandria, and as you have done for all of us.”

Apparently finally loosing some of his nervousness Caduceus reached up to tug on his father's sleeves, getting him to pause his speech and look down. “You gotta tell her that I've been here before,” Caduceus whispered. “She has to know who I am!”

“Right, right... oh, do you want to place your stone?” Cornelius asked, just as Constance heard Colton grumble beside her, taking her attention for a moment.

“He's disrupting the ceremony, he shouldn't do that,” her oldest griped, quiet enough that Caduceus and Cornelius probably couldn't hear him but still causing her to roll her eyes.

“It's his ceremony, I'm sure the Wildmother will understand,” she whispered back to him, still reaching out to rub his back a little in reassurance though. “Now hush, this is important for your brother.”

Falling quiet again she looked up just as her husband handed Caduceus a big stone, and she frowned a little as she did not recognise this part of the ceremony. But as Caduceus shyly approached the shrine and placed it down she could see it had his old name etched into it, something Cornelius had probably helped with. After setting it down Caduceus stopped, seemingly just staring at the shrine in awe for a few moments, before he hurried back to his father and came to stand in front of him again.

Cornelius just smiled, running a hand through the short pink hair before continuing with his speech. “As you can see, we have been here with him before. It was many seasons ago though, and he has since informed us that we have done it all wrong.”

Constance couldn't help but chuckle at that. Informing them was an understatement. But Cornelius continued, and she did her best to grow a bit more serious again.

“He would hereby like to return his old name to you, a gift he will no longer need, and respectfully asks to be known as-” His voice rose a little in the end, almost like he was asking a question, and he gave Caduceus a gentle nudge. It took a second, and for a moment Constance was afraid he wouldn't answer at all, but when he finally spoke up his voice was surprisingly sturdy. “Caduceus. My name is Caduceus Clay.”

Silence fell over them as they waited. One second. Two. Three. Constance bit her lip. It had never taken this long to get a sign from the Wildmother after introducing family. But just as her chest started to get uncomfortably tight she saw Caduceus eyes going wide, and followed his gaze back to the stone now settled on top of the shrine.

It was starting to overgrow with pink lichen, slow at first but then spreading at an unnatural speed, until the letters that had been carved into it so carefully were completely unreadable. Then a slight breeze picked up, clearly swirling around Cornelius and Caduceus with an almost playful energy as it flicked up the boy's hair and made him giggle in delight. Constance could hear the almost universal sigh of relief that went through her family at that point, and her earlier anxiety was giving way to an almost giddy sense of euphoria.

Seeing that her husband now had to keep their son from chasing after the gust of wind made her laugh again, especially when it only seemed manageable by firmly settling the little firbolg on his hip again. Melora help them if Caduceus ever got too big to be picked up. Deciding to help, and wanting to congratulate her son to his new name, she finally got up and went over to them. And just as she reached the two, the family now close together again as Calliope and Colton had followed her, and Clarabelle was still securely held in her arms, she felt the brief presence of a warm hand settling on her shoulder. As always, the Wildmother had heard her prayers.

[to-the-moon-and-to-saturn]

Andromeda

~Okay so this is an extra revised piece from my creative writing final portfolio last fall. I love this piece (and Cal) with my whole heart despite the faults that I have given up trying to fix at this point. Also, the translation are from google translate so if they’re wrong...tell me  but, like, in a nice way. This also marks the official start of this blog that I’m using to reblog/keep track other people’s writing that i enjoy and (hopefully) tell them how much I love it~

The pavement of the small Virginian town was hot the day Cal returned. It burned her bare heels and turned the bottoms of her feet bright red. But Cal didn’t care. She could barely feel it. She was there. Standing in front of her house. She was back after three years and she was, surprisingly, content. Something she hadn’t been in the nineteen years growing up there, something four years of college couldn’t fix, and it felt so good. Part of this because of the woman on the other end of the phone—her girlfriend—but most of it was because of those three years.

Two weeks after she graduated, Cal sent what she deemed to be the important half of her still-packed boxes to the other side of the Atlantic. Months prior she had found a political science graduate program Oslo and although it wasn’t perfect it was the farthest away. So when she got in she ignored any other acceptance letter she received.

After two months, the things she had accumulated in Norway outnumbered the things she had brought with her. After six months, most of her original belongings were back in boxes. After a year, everything except her journals, a photo album of her and her mother, and her undergraduate senior thesis had been donated.

The same thing had happened to Cal herself. Each day she was so far from home, the less she felt the strings she’d been born with. Every meal for one she made and every euro she saved felt like she was cutting another line, and after a year, Cal was driving six hours to a film festival with her girlfriend. Really, she could’ve gone anywhere because it wasn’t where she was that had changed her. It was where she wasn’t.

Her mother was standing on the front porch waiting for Cal to get off the phone. She had called her girlfriend, Margot, when she had driven up to the house and found that her mother wasn’t home yet. Cal had parked her rental car and taken a walk that ended up being a little too long—her mother was already home when she had circled back—while they talked.

“Gå og se moren din. Vi kan snakke senere,” said the woman on the phone. Go see your mother. We can talk later.

“Jeg savner deg. Jeg elsker deg,” she said. “Te iubesc.” I miss you. I love you.

“I love you, too.” 

Her mother hugged her tightly when she got to the top of the steps and didn’t let her go for a long, long time. There were tears in her eyes when they separated.

“Calliope,” her mother said, holding her face gently in her hands. “It’s so good to see you.” The smile Cal gave her was loose and genuine.

“You too, Ma,” she said. “Sorry I wasn’t here when you got home.” Her mother hugged her again. She led Cal inside when she pulled away.

“I will say, I was a little surprised to not see you on the couch, waiting,” her mother said. “But I suppose that was you before you left.”

The way her mother was looking at her made it obvious to Cal that the internal changes she had gone through on the other side of the world, could be seen on her skin as well. Maybe it was because she was Cal’s mother, but the look went past her shorter hair and glasses, to why her nails were now painted a bright color and she no longer wrung her fingers. To the calmness and self-acceptance that now filled the space around her. And it was only because she was Cal’s mother that she saw all the way to the constantly curious, constantly looking, constantly loving little girl that had disappeared in high school but was now sitting at her kitchen table as a woman.

“What do you want for dinner?” her mother asked, and just like that it was like it had been before Cal left. Almost. When Cal’s mother asked about her life, neither skirted around using “she” to refer to the woman Cal was living with. When Cal used the words “my girlfriend” they weren’t whispered, mumbled, or shouted from the rooftops—although Cal had done that before—they just…were. When they disagreed on certain topics Cal’s statements didn’t end in a question mark. Someone looking through the living room window would have seen Cal and her mother at the kitchen island preparing dinner and talking as if Cal was honoring a weekly commitment to see her mother.

Later that night as she was lying in her childhood bed watching the fan spin on the ceiling, Cal wondered how she was going to tell her mother that she wasn’t planning on moving back to the States anytime soon, if ever. Once she had moved away, she had split her life into “before” and “after,” and part of “after” was not going back, and the biggest part of “before” was this town. She had made a life somewhere else and she had no intention of leaving it behind, and she knew she couldn’t have the same life in this town that she had in Oslo. She couldn’t because that life involved her girlfriend and this town wouldn’t like that.

She turned her head to look at the tiny glow-in-the-dark clock on the bedside table. It was still too early to call home, but it was too late to do anything, and Cal’s mind was spinning too fast to sleep. While the sun turned the days into soup, the air the night breathed in through the open window was inviting. She stepped through the window onto the roof and climbed on top of the dormer, sitting where the ridge that formed the peak over her bedroom window met the rest of the roof. She looked out over the town—too small to have a skyline—that looked exactly the same as the day she left.

She took her socks off, tossed them over the side of the house, and hoped she would remember to pick them up in the morning. She probably wouldn’t and they would join the dozens of other pairs that had landed under the first-floor window over the years.

Cal sat there for hours watching the sun go down and her neighbors—the same ones she’d had when she was a kid, the same families her mother had as neighbors growing up—get ready for bed. One by one house lights turned off and all that was left was the moon and the bug muted streetlamps down below. When there was nothing left to watch below her, she leaned back against the slant of the roof and watched the sky.

She traced her fingers through Andromeda. When she was younger, she would sit on the roof longing for the freedom the mythological princess had hanging in the sky. It was her favorite constellation, partially because she liked the name but also because, just as Andromeda had been chained to a rock to die, Cal had been chained to this godforsaken town and saw no way out; waiting for Perseus to save her. But Andromeda was in the sky, traveling the world, which had given Cal hope that maybe she, too, could leave her rock behind and be free. Although dying wasn’t how she wanted to get there.

Now, though, Cal was just as free as her dear friend in the sky. She had been her own Perseus, fighting to escape the chains of this town before she inevitably drowned, or was eaten by the sea monster, and in the end, she had made it. It had been a slow and painful process starting when Cal was sixteen.

When she was seven, Cal’s mother took her to the carnival. They were there all afternoon and late into the night, running between tents and under flashing neon lights. When Cal was twelve, her mother took her and the boy next door at the carnival and sat in the dusty lot while they awkwardly maneuvered between tents. They weren’t there long enough for the lights to matter. The last time she went to the carnival, Cal was sixteen. She had plans to meet up with a girl from school and this time her mother didn’t wait for them. The two girls were there all day, laughing as they moved from tent to tent, and when the sun went down the flashing lights washed over their faces as the girl took Cal’s hand in hers and kissed for the first time. And the last. They were walking through the exit, their fingers intertwined, with plans to go to the ice cream shop when they passed a group of their classmates. They didn’t say anything, but the looks were enough. Cal’s stomach dropped at the same moment the girl dropped her hand, and her blood ran as cold as the fall air hitting her empty palm.

She spent the rest of the weekend crying, always on the verge of throwing up, and wishing that her mother would move them to Alaska, but she knew they couldn’t afford it. The next month passed in emotions rather than minutes and days. At first she tried to pretend nothing had happened, when it was clear her classmates had told everyone they could, she hurtled through a roller-coaster of embarrassment and fear. Three and a half weeks after it happened Cal found out the girl she had been with had said that it was all Cal’s fault, and her feelings had solidified into anger, marking the end of the month. She decided she wasn’t going to wait for an invitation to leave. She wasn’t going to wait to be taken from this town by someone else. She wasn’t going to wait for this town to eat her heart and soul. She was going to leave.

And she did.

Eventually.

Her eyes now closed, Cal realized that while she still wished she could have left earlier she was no longer angry about it. That wasn’t to say she had no hard feelings for her classmates anymore, because she did. It just wasn’t all consuming and the only thing driving her to do better anymore. God only knows when that happened, Cal thought. Somewhere between when she had started living for herself and falling in love, probably.

Deciding it was better to not accidentally fall asleep on the roof, Cal climbed back through the window and into her bed. Her jet lag was finally catching up to her now that the sun was down and she had nothing left to do, but she still tossed and turned for the next hour. Even though she had come to terms with everything and found her spot, she still felt out of place in her hometown; the place she thought she would live forever for most of her life. It was a weird feeling and trying to figure out what that feeling was, was like trying to brush all of the crumbs from your sheets.

She was a stranger here. But I’m not, Cal thought to herself. Not really. I’m who I’ve always been, just...more honest. More me. The stranger, the not-me, was the girl who left. I came back. She wasn’t a stranger to the three people that mattered: her mother, her girlfriend, and herself. The rest of the town didn’t matter. They hadn’t since they decided that even though Cal’s own blood, sweat, and tears were part of the town, she was no longer one of them because she loved women.

That was part of why Margot hadn’t come with her on this trip—the other being their incredibly clingy cat who could barely last a full workday without them. If she was no longer considered a member of this community, if they were going to treat her like an outsider, then she would act like one. She had nothing to prove to them other than that she was doing well. She didn’t need to walk down Main Street holding her girlfriend’s hand despite dirty looks. She would spend time with her mom, get too much ice cream at the parlor in the plaza, maybe lose a couple more socks off the roof, and then leave. In between, she might tell those who asked, what she had been doing since graduation, but that wasn’t information she was going to offer up on her own. If she wanted them to know what she was doing, she would have stayed.

As much as she had changed though, Cal was still a better cook than her mother, her bedroom back in Norway was accidentally the same shade of lavender as the room she was in now, and she still hated horror movies but liked being scared. Who she was at her core was still the same. Cal had escaped her predetermined, small town fate without compromising who she was and grew into what she wanted to become. She had stared them all in the eye and saved herself despite everything.

Sleep finally began to take her as her phone buzzed beneath the pillow, but by now she barely had the energy to pull the sheet on top of herself. Her Margot would still be there when she woke up.

The next morning Cal woke to her mother cooking breakfast with the food she had gotten earlier from the farmers’ market. She did her best not to make any noise as she once again climbed up onto the roof with her phone. The shingles were already warm from the sun but they weren’t uncomfortably hot. She unlocked her phone and called Margot back.

“Hey,” Margot said answering the phone. “I miss you.”

Cal smiled to herself and looked out over the rooftops. “I miss you, too,” she said.

“What’s up?” Margot asked, her speech muffled. “Or are you calling to tell me that you have come to a revelation about how to jump-start the socialist revolution and it begins in a small, conservative town?”

“No, I-are you eating?”

“What?” Margot asked, sounding defensive but not offended. “It’s almost eight o’clock, I just sat down for dinner.” 

“I’m calling because I miss you but also,” Cal paused and took a deep breath. “I’m not sure how to tell Mom we’re not moving back here. I know she’s not going to, like, hate me or anything, but it’s not going to make her happy. You should have seen her when she saw me yesterday. I almost started to cry.” Margot didn’t answer right away and instead took another bite of food.

“I think,” she said after swallowing. “There is no ‘best way’ to tell your loving mother that you’ve decided to live on the other side of the world for the foreseeable future. I think you just need to tell her.”

Cal knew she was right but she had been hoping that Margot was going to say that she had found a way to be in two places at once so this wouldn’t be an issue.

“I know,” Cal said, sounding a little defeated. “I know.”

“Cal!” Her mother called from inside the house and she sighed.

“I guess now wasn’t as a good a time to call as I thought,” she said with a small laugh. “I have to go.”

They said their goodbyes and Cal climbed back into the house. Her steps her soft on the stairs as she avoided all the squeaky spots out of habit. The kitchen table had been set for breakfast and pancakes were cooking on the stove; the first batch was already on the table. Cal served herself a plate of pancakes, fresh whipped cream, and fruit, and sat down so that she was facing her mother.

“Ma,” she said. “We need to talk. Or rather, I have something I have to tell you.” Her mother looked up from her cooking and gave her a warm smile.

“Honey, I know,” she said. “You’re not staying.” Cal must have looked as shocked as she felt.

“Calliope, I’m your mother, I know you,” she continued. “I know how unhappy you were here—I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take you away from here—and I know how happy you are now. You deserve the life you have and I know you know that. Was I hoping a little that maybe you were going to surprise me and say that you were moving closer? Of course. But I also wasn’t deluding myself into thinking you were going to come back here.”

Tears tickled Cal’s cheeks. She took a deep breath trying to lessen the lump in her throat but she didn’t try to speak. She knew that if she did she would start to sob. It wasn’t that this sort of kindness was out of character for her mother, because it wasn’t, it was that no matter how happy she was with her current life, she had still grown up with only one source of support in a community turned against her—even herself—and so she never expected to be supported even when she knew that there were people who loved her.

“Mama,” Cal whispered, her voice breaking. Her mother took the pancakes off the griddle, turned off the stove, and walked to her. She sat down in the chair next to Cal and took her band.

 “Maybe I wouldn’t visit you if you lived in, say, California—you know how I feel about that fault line,” her mother joked. “But there’s no place you could move to that would make me stop loving you.” Cal tried to tell her she knew that but no sound came out as her mother leaned over and kissed her forehead.

[runearcana]

Reasons I am Terezi:

My soon to be deadname sounds like Terezi.

I have an absurdly long tongue. 

I look and dress like Terezi. [my hair ends up short, and when I straighten it, it always has a curve at the ends like hers. Ive always thought I look like a female version of Karkat and even tried to be more like him.] I primarily wear black t-shirts with nerdy images.

I love mysteries, solving them, and have a knack for knowing the law on an intuitive level.

I had a best fuckin friend forever that I did everything with. We called ourselves the Greythorne Sisters. I was Wither and she was Malice. [telling much?]

When I broke up with her, I.. used my very strong foresight and saw that there would be issues if we stayed friends. Karkat also encouraged me to do it and was outside when I went through with it. After I told her, she literally crumpled, and I hugged her one last time. She didnt expect it at all. ._.

I went insane with regret and self-hatred afterwards.

My ultimate crush looked, acted, and spoke [yelled] EXACTLY like Karkat.

The reason I got into Homestuck was because I was incredibly shocked at how his likeness was captured in the fan art, and even the official art. EVERYTHING is the same except he has grey-blue eyes, caucasion skin color, lacks horns. Everything else is the same. He sounds most like a more masculine version of Broadway Karkat. Very wicked and masculine voice. Extremely intimidating guy despite his size. [hes not short, just shorter than youd expect someone with a cocky personality like his.]

Karkat even called us the Scourge Sisters. 

He hated Vriska. He was jealous of her as well, as anyone interested in me would have been.

I loved Karkat, more than anyone except Vriska, but my self-esteem was too low to believe he legitimately cared about me. On some level I knew he cared about me, but I was too BLIND to see it.

I didnt know I loved Vriska more than Karkat until I had already lost her. v.v

Vriska and I had a serious BDSM relationship [kismesis] after being moirails a very long time. We should have stayed moiraills. :[ It was really my fault that she acted the way she acted.

I am an empath and I can legitimately taste peoples energies. 

I may as well be blind because my eyesight is useless to me without glasses.

My favorite color isnt red, its TEAL, but I have a crazy fetish for fiery guys.

Libra ascendant, which is funny because A. your ascendant was your sign in a previous life, and B. its the realm of your PERSONALITY. [Sun is about your life path and moon is about emotions. :P]

I am creepy and cute [or was when I identified as female]. I love scaring the shit out of people. >:]

I like 1337, but I refuse to type that way all the time even though quirks are awesome conceptually. I mean if I could program the computer to remember my quirk, itd be different, but that isnt a thing yet. Itd definitely spice the internet up much more. :]

I still play with plushies and whatevers at hand and draw with chalk.

I adore dragons and see myself as one because I was born in the year of the dragon. :P

I like to cosplay, and wear capes pretty often. 

Dave is someone I cared about a great deal. He had a crush on me, but I saw him as a brother. Dirk is a total piece of shit and hurt Dave and Karkat and its why they have so much in common. He IS Daves bro. Dave sort of sticks up for him and Dirk has clueless followers. 

Gamzee was a best friend of mine like Dave and we technically had a kismisitude relationship. Gamzee told me Karkat was his best friend but I didnt know it was mutual. He was very upset that Gamzee and I were kinda together.

One night I was sitting at the end of Vriskas bed, thinking she was asleep, and trying not to wake her up with blowing my nose. She was awake and spooked and said she thought I was cackling like a maniac at the end of the bed like a creep. I thought it was pretty much a good assessment.

Another time she told me that while I was asleep, she saw an *evil* me with a sharp toothed grin and grey skin. It didnt seem improbable to me.

John is my biological brother. Hes a Virgo sun, and hes a nerd. :] Hes the only person beside my dad and aunt I talk to. [lots of friends I have, lol.]

Rose is a c*nt but I was fascinated with her for some reason. Rose hates Homestuck because of the fanbase. [lolll]

Kanaya is her sister, not gf/wife. Shes cool, and a reasonable person and was a friend, but we didnt talk much. I dont know why really.. x.x

Aradia was my best friend before Vriska. She and Sollux are married. I had a crush on her hsband and it was awkward.

Equius is an ex. Longest relationship Ive been in was with him.

Eridan is as much of a insufferable asshat as he is in the series, but not good looking in the slightest. He can be.. surprisingly insightful at times. None of us like him, even us INFPs. [Dave and I.]

I see Aranea as my mother. Talks non-stop, ruins lives.. but I used to look up to her.

Calliope was a fellow dragon lover friend that Dave introduced me to. Her handle was Celestial Serpent and she is even more asexual than I am. :]

My friends saw my and Karkats connection as being more like Karkats and Nepetas. He treated me like I was autistic and mostly ignored me. Probably until I confessed to him, and then after I went crazy because I had lost Vriska, and hoped that I could rely on him to be there for me. but despite all that bravado cockiness of his, hes a total wimp. ._.] Karkat and I had a ridiculously brief unspoken relationship that was only through telepathic communication and I got beyond frustrated and kissed a woman, and it was over like that. No one knows about this but us. Its another thing that I have ruminated on and hated myself for and deeply regretted.

I envy gamer girls who are actually good at games and wish I could be more confident and popular. v.v; [Latula]

I had a character on Gaiaonline with the Chucku Norisu scarf and the winged staff item and people drew freebie art of it for me, and when I looked at my pictures after learning about Homestuck it was pretty crazy.

Vriska [best artist I know] drew a character that looked a lot like Terezi that I had liked a lot.

I was very isolated when I was young. Neglected by my parents for the most part and felt too different from other humans. I always wanted a tree house and bulit my own club house that I hung out in as a kid.

My friends pretty much unfairly looked down on and even despised Vriska except Gamzee.

I love the taste and sight of blood. [Im a sadist.]

Dave made a proposition that he, me and Karkat be in a poly relationship and I turned it down. [I did not want to share Karkles with ANYONE. I know in the comic Dave actually disliked the idea, but the poly thing came up with the three of us. I dont know if Karkat was cool with it or not because he always used Dave as our go-between, but if Dave made the offer it must have been Karkat approved. Asshole. -.-]

Karkat and Dave live together and are more than likely morails. Karkat isnt attracted to Dave, but Dave has said he is attracted to Karkat.

I had a dragon umbrella that looked like a cane that I loved a lot.

Karkat is pretty much the unofficial group leader, or at least he was in my opinion. I could see Sollux saying Id make a better leader, though, because Im more clear-headed and calm about things and people from that group respected me [more than I was aware of].

We are all connected somehow.. but the main group consisted of Dave, Gamzee, Rose, Kanaya, me [Terezi], Karkat, and a few people I didnt see as characters from Homestuck. Vriska was not allowed to hang out with us at first. When she finally got her freedom [with my help] she wouldnt hang with the group, and they saw her as taking me away from them. They thought she treated me poorly, but she really didnt. -.- [Vriska did nothing wrong, theyre all just jerks.]

I dont hang out or talk to any of them anymore except John. Im always finding myself reminiscing and I really just wish I could forget I ever met them so I could start over fresh.

I have a spirit guide that is a DRAGON and teaches me anything Id like to know, especially in esoteric matters. His name is Shadowfall Ryu. Ryu is Japanese for Dragon. [lusus] and I agonize that I dont know him irl. Everyone knows about him. I have drawn so much art of him and talked about him so much. He is my ideal self. [i know the lusus in the comics is female, but whatever. Its still interesting.]

I collect dragon stuff, including plushies. I still play with them and wish others would play with me.

List goes on and on.

I cant make this stuff up.

[redslilstories]

You’ve got to be kidding me

Author: lilyme (aka. redslilstories aka. me ;)) Summary: It was a quiet night. No fireworks, no party. Just them. But that didn’t make the outcome of this night any less spectacular. Characters: Callie/Arizona Rating: PG Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show “Grey’s Anatomy”. They were created by Shonda Rhimes and belong to her and the ABC network. No copyright infringement intended! All mistakes are mine.

She had to admit it. They were getting lazy.

Preferring to spend the night at home on their comfy and inviting couch rather than go out and party.

But they deserved this quiet time after yet another eventful year. The clinic Arizona had opened with Nicole Herman seven years ago had made itself a name as the most innovative and extensive institute for women’s health in the United States. And with growing prestige and success had come the decision to move to a bigger location this year.

And Callie, for four years the Chief of Orthopedic Surgery at New York’s most renowned hospital, had this year gotten the recognition she deserved. Had been rewarded with the Burlingame Award for further developing the cartilage project she had begun way back in Seattle.

Arizona could not be any prouder of her girlfriend, who currently lay nestled into her arms as they were cuddled up under a blanket, watching a random greatest hits show with songs from many decates ago. From back when music was still good.

It was one of those shows that were typical for the last night of the year. The night tv stations hardly chose to invest in anything spectacularly exciting. But then again, when did tv stations ever show anything exciting nowadays anymore?

She chuckled as she looked down at the brunette, whose closed eyes indicated just how fascinated she seemed by the program. “Don’t you dare fall asleep on me before the year is over,” Arizona amusedly admonished her and tapped her nose with the tip of her finger.

Confronted with this accusation, Callie blinked her droopy eyes open and smiled at the blonde hovering over her and making her face her fingers’ playground. “Just resting,” she argued, even though her sleep-raspy voice easily betrayed her. “Enjoying the quietness of the house”.

“Uh-hm,” Arizona nodded slowly at the meagre excuse, and leaned in to kiss Callie’s temple lightly. But there was some truth in it. Their teenage daughter was spending this night at a party at her friend’s house. Strictly chaperoned by the friend’s parents… at least they hoped so. They knew her friend Danielle and her parents, so they were actually confident everything was fine. And Sofia was a good and well-behaved kid, who hardly gave her parents any trouble.

So, it was indeed quieter than most nights. Definitely quieter than the New Year’s eves of past years. No pondering if they should head to Times Square to watch the ball drop at midnight. No gatherings at someone’s house that you often wished you could leave before the year was over. No, tonight it was really just them. And it was perfection.

Arizona had hoped for a night like this. Happy that Callie had agreed to this less action-packed plan.

Not that Arizona hadn’t planned anything for tonight. She had big plans, actually. And she figured it was time now. Before Callie truly fell asleep and snored her way into the new year. Which itself would be endearing… but not tonight.

“We’re nearing midnight. You up for some champagne?” she wondered, and immediately more life came into Callie’s body.

“Sounds good,” the brunette nodded and watched as Arizona crawled out from behind her and slipped on her prosthetic with ease.

Before Callie could protest and offer to get the champagne herself, the blonde had already disappeared from the room.

Returning a good three minutes later with two glasses filled with the sparkly liquid… and an oddly nervous look on her face.

Callie frowned, wondering what had happened between leaving the room and pouring them each a celebratory glass.

But as soon as Arizona put of the glasses before her, it became clear.

Warily she looked at her girlfriend, who sat down next to her.

This one saw the reaction and began to panic, “I know it’s a kitschy movie thing, but I thought it’s still too cute to pass up on. Especially since the last time I didn’t even have one for you,” she chuckled.

An amusement interrupted by Callie getting up with an incredulous, “Yo’ve got to be kidding me,” when Arizona’s words seemed to confirm her suspicions regarding her  plan.

Arizona watched dumbfoundedly as it was Callie’s turn to disappear from sight.

That was… really unexpected.

Really not what she had hoped for.

Was it the ring? Was it not what Callie liked?

Or… was something else the problem?

They hadn’t talked about the possibility since getting back together five years ago. Happy just living their lives together as a loving couple. Without anything official to proclaim their union to the world.

And now that she was faced with Callie’s reaction, she felt that she should have left it this way instead of now possibly losing her girlfriend and the love of her life.

She took the glass containing the white-gold engagement ring with a one carat diamond, fished the item out and gulped down the liquid to calm her nerves. The other glass following seconds later. Courage - so she could go look for Callie.

Who obviously didn’t want to marry her. Maybe too scarred by her earlier marriages. Or their earlier marriage.

Dammit, she really should have considered this, Arizona figured.

As she stood to walk towards where her not-fiancée and possibly now-not-even-girlfriend-anymore had ran off to, Callie suddenly returned.

With a smile on her face… that confused Arizona more than anything.

“Okay, before you completely freak out,” the brunette stated, her face growing more apologetic as she saw the lingering insecurity, “yes. Yes! I absolutely want to marry you!” she affirmed and walked towards Arizona, who stood with the ring held dumbly between her fingers.

Callie wanted to marry her. Callie wanted to marry her, her brain registered. But then why the great escape a mere minutes ago?

The brunette finally explained her actions as she brought forth the hand that Arizona noticed had until now been hidden behind her back. A hand that revealed a velvety black box, that upon Callie opening it to her, mesmerized Arizona with its shiny content. Platinum with a sapphire in heart shape.

“You…,” Arizona started and began to smile. Suddenly Callie’s earlier ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’, made a lot more sense.

“I had actually planned to bring this to you tomorrow morning. You know, breakfast in bed. A big tray full of all your favorite treats. A rose and… this box,” Callie smirked as she took the ring from the box and took Arizona free hand with the other. “I have long thought about this,” she assured her love. “And I had my doubts, because I’ve failed. We’ve failed, you know?” she admitted, and Arizona nodded slowly. “But we’re not the same people anymore. We’ve grown and we take our time and we try to make sure our decisions are the right ones. And this decision is right. Or,” she rolled her eyes at her own wording, “to make this a little more romantic: I love you, Arizona Robbins. And I’ve never been more sure about anyone. You’re the love of my life, and were from the first time you kissed me in Joe’s bathroom. And you make me so tremendously happy. So… will you make me even happier by marrying me?”

Arizona looked between the two rings that were so different, yet so beautiful in their own way. Just like the two of them. And then her eyes met Callie’s anticipating ones. “This has been my dream for so long. Not the thought of marriage itself, because I know marriage can go wrong. But life with you… spending my life with you, even if it’s the most normal and uneventful nights,” she laughed. “Life with you, hopefully until we’re hundred… that’s my dream. And I had that feeling from early on. From the moment I saw you try not to break down crying at the bar, I knew I wanted to make you smile and forget your sorrows. I know I’ve been a cause for some… for a lot of them in the past. But we survived this. Not intact and not together, but we survived,” she gulped, as she clasped Callie’s hand stronger in hers. “But surviving means, we didn’t die from it, even if it left scars. I’m…. I’m so happy that I still manage to make you smile. That you still trust your heart with me. And I want to keep it this way forever. I love you more than ever before, Calliope. And I want nothing more than to marry you,” she nodded as her eyes welled up.

Callie barely noticed, her own eyesight a mess of tears. “Oh, my God, I love you,” she gulped and kissed her now fiancée lovingly, and soon registered the funny ring dance their hands holding the engagement ring intended for the other were performing between them, trembling in excitement. “Give me your hand,” she ordered and slipped her ring onto Arizona’s finger, squealing lightly when it fit just perfectly.

Arizona followed suit and gave Callie the ring that five minutes ago she had thought she would have to return. Or throw into the ocean together with her crushed heart. She sighed at the two newly decorated hands clasped in loving union. “I love it,” she grinned at her ring, and then at Callie. “And I love you,” she hugged Callie with everything she had. Not ever wanting to let her go again.

Callie hummed into the embrace, holding onto her fiancée. Her third fiancée; or second, depending on how you counted. But never had she been more certain about taking this step and about the person she was taking this step with.

“So, do you actually like your ring? Because part of panicked me thought you found it bug-ugly, when you ran out,” she perceived Arizona’s muffled voice, as thus one was busy burying her face in her taller fiancée’s inviting neck.

Callie chuckled, using the opportunity to inspect her ring. More classic than the one she had bought for Arizona, but definitely just right. “This is exactly what I always wanted my ring to look like,” she promised as the sound of an incoming call on Arizona’s phone forced them apart.

They frowned, wondering who it could be. Checking, they saw it was an incoming call from Sofia.

Arizona picked up, “Sweetie, what is it?” she wondered, panicking a little, wondering if something was wrong.

“'What is it’?” the girl on the other line wondered. “It’s the new year,” the girl explained. “Happy New Year!”

The women checked the clock. Indeed it was four minutes past midnight, and Sofia was calling to send them wishes for the new year. Just as they had agreed on just before the teen had left the house earlier.

“Oh, it is,” Callie gasped, startled by the fact that they had missed it. And that she didn’t even have to be asleep to miss it. “Happy New Year, sweetie!” she greeted and Arizona soon followed.

“Wait… you didn’t know…?” Sofia wondered, suspicious of the fact. “Oh, God, do I even want to know why you didn’t know?” she inquired, a myriad of scenarios springing to mind. The worst ones not what you really want to imagine your parents doing when they are alone.

“Don’t be silly,” Callie admonished. “But… we’ve been doing something. Well, your mother just did something”.

“Wait, no, your mother just did something!” Arizona added and only intensified Sofia’s confusion.

And that was how Sofia learned of her mothers’ engagement. Something that – spending everyday life with the love birds – she had seen coming. And was more than supportive of. And more than happy that they had never given up on their love for each other.

A love that the three of them were certain would hold forever.

[carmenlire]

Bop to the Top

Flufftober day 1: Dancing

read on ao3

The reception hall echoes with the sound of the hundred guests having a wonderful time.

Alec sweeps a hand down his husband’s back, pulls him closer as they dance to a slow song. He feels Magnus lay a kiss over his jaw and hums a little, more than content as they enjoy their corner of the dance floor.

They’re barely moving, just swaying in place really, and Alec blames the champagne for how light he feels– well, that and the warmth radiating from Magnus.

“What’s in that head of yours, Mr. Lightwood-Bane?”

Laughing softly, Alec’s noses along Magnus’s hair before replying, “I’m thinking that it’s about time that Luke made an honest woman of my mother.” His voice lowers as does his hand, until it’s grazing Magnus ass. “And that I can’t wait to get you out of this fucking suit.”

“Alexander,” his husband murmurs and it’s equal parts fond and exasperated. “We’re in public, darling.”

“So?”

He hears the quick intake of Magnus’s breath as nibbles on an earlobe, starts kissing a path down his husband’s neck. His progress is quickly halted, though, as Magnus pulls back enough to level him with an long suffering stare.

“So, darling husband of mine, I’m sure you don’t want to do anything you’ll regret in the morning– especially when it’s in front of your mother and the rest of your family.”

Alec just blinks at him, lost for words. Magnus’s argument is sound but damn if he isn’t getting increasingly impatient at waiting to rip the damn suit off his husband– something that Magnus, the bastard, knew the moment he put it on, as he’d watched Alec watch him through the mirror as he slowly, tortuously, buttoned his shirt earlier in the evening.

“Here’s a deal for you,” Magnus whispers and it catches in the space between their lips as he draws a hand over the slope of Alec’s shoulders, traces the outline of the deflect rune even as they keep up with the meandering pace of the music. “Calliope is staying the night with Raphael and Simon and that leaves us all alone in a hotel room for the first time in, oh, three years. If you can wait just a little longer, I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Feeling unaccountably warm at Magnus’s drawling voice, Alec clears his throat before arching a brow. “And how do I know you’re a man of your word, Mr. Lightwood-Bane?”

Magnus grins and it’s sharp enough to make Alec dizzy. “Oh, I’m sure you have your ways to keep me in line, Mr. Lightwood-Bane.”

Alec’s just set to say fuck it and drag Magnus up to their suite when he hears a voice that he’d know anywhere call out, “Daddy! Papa!”

Taking a measured breath, Alec and Magnus take a hasty step away from each other and Alec looks down just in time to see a little body launch itself at his legs. Calliope wraps her arms around his knees, hugging tightly, and grins up at him.

Grinning back at her, Alec reaches down, pulling one of her curls down before releasing it so that it springs back up. He does it mostly because his daughter has inherited his husband’s flair for dramatics and her annoyed nose scrunch is cute as hell.

“What’s up, sweetheart?”

Their daughter looks over at Magnus and her expression turns into a pout. “I want to dance but I don’t know how.”

Magnus looks over at Alec and raises his brows. Alec shrugs and crouches down until he’s more at eye level with their four year old.

“You want to dance to this,” Alec asks dubiously, considering a waltz is playing.

Nodding vehemently, Calliope reaches for his hands. “Show me how, daddy! Please,” she implores, dragging the word out until it’s at least half a dozen syllables.

Laughing, Alec takes her hands, notes for the thousandth time just how tiny she is compared to him. “Okay, okay, hold your horses. I’ll teach you how to dance.”

He looks up as Magnus slides a hand over his back and they share an amused glance before Magnus leans down and pinches her cheek. “Break a leg, dear.”

Alec huffs out a laugh, shaking his head as Magnus starts toward their table but not before throwing a wink over his shoulder. He finds his gaze dropping down to watch Magnus’s ass as he walks away but Calliope pulls on his arms just a few seconds later, demanding all of his attention.

“Alright, let’s dance,” Alec says and his kid’s enthusiasm is contagious. The music isn’t quite as slow as it was a few minutes ago but it’s still something sedated.

They start by moving side to side and gradually Alec starts adding a bit of a turn. Calliope is an athletic child but she trips over his shoes a dozen times and starts looking more and more frustrated.

The dance floor is mostly full and as Alec guides them, he keeps a lookout for any errant adults who might not notice a small child next to them. While the dancing is anything but smooth, Alec doesn’t think they’re doing that badly when Calliope suddenly pulls away from him and bursts into tears, covering her face with her hands.

Alec’s heart turns over– he never could stand to see his daughter cry– but he’s confused as hell.

Crouching down, Alec reaches out until he can cover Calliope’s arms with tentative hands. “Honey? What’s wrong?”

Calliope doesn’t say anything for a long moment and Alec moves one hand until it can sweep over her back in a comforting motion. When she finally speaks, though, her voice is too muffled for him to catch a blasted word.

“What was that? I didn’t quite hear you, sweetheart.”

Lowering her hands until her face is visible, Calliope crosses her arms and looks at Alec mutinously. She’s cute as a button even if there are tear tracks down her cheeks.

“I said that I’m not a good dancer and if I’m not a good dancer than I won’t ever be able to dance with anyone.”

Alec frowns at the explanation. It doesn’t make sense to him but hell if he hasn’t become adept at solving problems he doesn’t understand since Izzy was old enough to talk. As he studies his kid, Alec can’t help but think back to the dance lessons he took when he was her age. His instructor had been harsh but still no match for Maryse all those years ago. Perfection had been demanded and Alec can still feel the echo of his punishment when he stumbled, when he grew off beat.

He never wants his daughter to feel that weight of expectation. The truth is, no matter what kind of dancer Calliope is, Alec will always be honored to dance with her– not to mention that he’s learned a lesson from Magnus that the Institute never could’ve taught him.

Sometimes it’s better to have fun and enjoy yourself than to be perfect.

Pulling her closer, Alec wraps his daughter in a hug, relieved when she doesn’t pull away. “You aren’t a bad dancer, Calliope– you’ve just never done this before and it takes practice to get good at something. Plus, if someone doesn’t want to dance with you, that’s their loss– you can always dance with your me or your papa even if you do have two left feet.”

Calliope looks down, frowning. “I don’t have two left feet, daddy. I have a left and a right just like you taught me.”

Biting his lip to keep his laughter in, Alec replies, “It’s just a saying, honey. Having two left feet means that someone isn’t a very good dancer– which is not true for you,” he hastily adds.

Calliope doesn’t look convinced and Alec has two seconds to think of a solution before his daughter has another crisis. Thinking fast, Alec nudges her to look up, which she does with watery eyes.

“Why don’t we dance with you standing on my feet? That way I can show you the moves and neither one of us has to worry about running into the other.”

Alec’s rather proud of himself for that solution but Cally doesn’t look so sure. “I’m a big girl, daddy! I can’t stand on your feet.”

Heart surging, Alec looks down at his kid who doesn’t even come up to his waist and feels something shift in him because he can already feel time sifting through his fingers faster than he’d like and he knows that, far sooner than he’s ready, Calliope’s words will be true.

Still. He rolls his eyes, poking her gently in the stomach just to hear her giggle before sternly saying, “Nonsense. You’ll never be too old to dance with me.”

It takes a little more convincing but Alec guides Calliope until she has one foot over each of his shoes and he starts dancing along to the music. Now that he’s not worried about stepping on his daughter, Alec lets loose a little and they keep easy time as they take a turn around the room. His back is starting to ache from being so hunched over but Alec knows he’d spend an eternity just like this if only to make his daughter happy.

Calliope holds his hands with all her might and Alec makes sure they don’t stumble as they follow the beat of the music. His daughter laughs, enjoys the spinning around, and Alec finds himself echoing that laughter and feeling lighter than he ever thought imaginable.

He’s mid laugh when he looks up and the breath is knocked from him.

Because there’s his husband meeting his eyes from across the room. Magnus is watching the two of them and his expression is far too soft for everyone to see. Alec easily deciphers his gaze because he feels the same riot of emotions when he wakes up to see Calliope helping Magnus with breakfast or watching as Magnus reads their child a story from the rocking chair they’d bought the week before the adoption became official.

It’s something he never understood, not even when he sometimes felt less like a brother and more like a parent to his siblings.

There’s something that just squeezes his chest when he thinks of the family he’s made with Magnus and Calliope. He sees that same love and devotion and wonder in Magnus’s eyes and they share a look filled with everything they can’t find the words for before Calliope is pulling on his hands again and hopping off his feet.

“Thanks, dad,” she says happily before taking a step back. “I know how to dance now!”

She runs through the dance floor a second later and Alec’s left standing in the middle of things as he watches his little bundle of chaos miraculously avoid all the tipsy couples on the dance floor.

Shaking his head, Alec makes his way back to Magnus, who’s enjoying a piece of wedding cake.

“What was that about,” he asks, amused and Alec makes a noncommittal noise before leaning in and taking the bite off Magnus’s fork before his husband can react.

“Who the hell knows,” Alec laughs and they spend the next little while people watching and enjoying their cake.

They’re getting ready to let Simon and Raphael know that they’re heading upstairs when Magnus starts laughing, leaning in until he’s hiding his smile against Alec’s sleeve.

“I think I know why our dear daughter wanted to learn how to dance.”

Alec looks up and it takes him a moment but then he’s grinning at the dance floor. He relaxes back in his chair, pulling Magnus close with an arm over his shoulders. “She takes back after you, you know.”

“Oh please, Alexander. I would never be so obvious about my crush.”

Alec scoffs and when he sees his daughter echo a move that Magnus uses to this day, his husband doesn’t give him a chance to reply before he’s grumbling, “Okay, maybe she has been watching me.”

“How to woo the object of your affections 101. She’s a natural,” Alec laughs.

He hears Magnus sigh but doesn’t take his eyes off his daughter, who’s dancing with Maia, looking up at the Alpha leader with shining eyes. Calliope’s always had a bit of hero worship for the woman but now Alec wonders if maybe his daughter didn’t have the tiniest crush on Maia, too.

She’s still a little wobbly but her dancing is much better than it was at the start of the evening.

They watch as Calliope kisses Maia’s hand in a move that Magnus still treats Alec to every time they dance and Maia takes it with good grace, biting back her laughter, and gently guides them around the room.

It’s adorable, Alec thinks and he imprints this moment in his mind, one of a thousand memories he’s accumulated over the years that bring him unimaginable joy.

He’s lost in his thoughts as he watches his daughter dance but he’s shaken out of his reverie when Magnus nudges his arm.

Looking over, it takes everything Alec has not to kiss that coy look off his husband’s face.

“Why don’t you join me on the dance floor one more time before we call it a night, darling? And then I’ll let you have your wicked way with me until morning,” Magnus murmurs and it’s not strange, after all this time, for Alec to feel a dizzying mix of joy and lust and overwhelming love for the man in front of him.

Instead of answering immediately, Alec stands and holds out a hand to Magnus. “Only if you let me lead,” he says with a cocky look.

Magnus laughs out loud, sliding his hand into Alec’s as he stands and starts guiding Alec back towards the other couples.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, darling.”

[kenzierose53]

Promises (xxii)

I am getting so close to 600 reads on this on Wattpad it’s crazy! Like WHAT! When I first started this story I never expected ANYONE to want to read it. 

- MaKenzie ❤️

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The bar was quiet during the afternoon, a few stragglers here and there but overall not bad. Thankfully during the afternoon, the kitchen was busy so I didn't have to deal with Sofia. Right now, it was just myself, Hermes and Sofia here at the bar. Orpheus was out running some errands for Hermes leaving me alone. Hermes was in his office working on some things.

Persephone was actually with Hades; he had kept on his promise to come and visit her. Of course, no one can know he is here but she told me immediately. The smile on her face when she told me her husband was coming to see her made me so happy. I remember telling her in the Underworld to ask him for visits never honestly expecting him to take time off work to come but he proved me wrong.

Thinking of my time in the Underworld brought that gem I had hidden to mind. I started to think of all of the things I could do with that, all of the things I could buy with that. There was one thing I knew for sure that I was going to get with it, wedding bands. Even though Orpheus and I consider ourselves married already, I know that he really wanted it to be official. I can already picture the smile on his face if I give him a ring.

"Excuse me," a rather rude voice snapped me from my thoughts. Standing on the other side of the bar was an older woman with copper hair. I have never seen this woman before and I know everyone in this town. Maybe she is a traveler?

"I apologize miss, what can I get you?" I brushed off her rudeness, who knows how long she was trying to get my attention. She told me her order bitterly, again I brushed this off before making her order. Her eyes followed my every move, making me super uncomfortable. "I haven't seen you around here, you just passing through?" I tried to make small talk to lessen the awkwardness of this situation.

She remained silent, taking a large gulp of her drink her eyes never leaving mine. "I could say the same about you. I haven't seen you around here," her tone was accusatory. I have no idea who this woman is but she rubs me the wrong way.

"Uh I just recently got back to town," I remained vague hoping she wouldn't press. I really didn't want this mystery person to know that I just got back from Hadestown recently. Thankfully she just ignored it and continued on drinking.

"Ah Sofia dear it's good to see you!" the woman's voice sounded happy for once. This is the first person I met that doesn't seem bothered with Sofia. They engaged in conversation, allowing me to get some cleaning and stocking done.

When I returned the two were whispering, looking in my direction. Sofia pulled away with a smile on her face. "She's not giving you any issues is she?" her tone was bitter.

The woman smirked, "She has been a little less than friendly I would say." What? I thought I have been more than pleasant. If anyone was being unpleasant it was her.

I was about to apologize when Sofia cut me off, "I would think she would try to more pleasant to the mother of Orpheus." With that, she laughed and walked away. This is Calliope? This is the mother of my love?

"You're Calliope?" my voice was breathless, not wanting to believe this. She just gave me a sharp nod. "I'm Eurydice. Your son and I are together," my desire to show myself as good enough for her son was taking over. This woman has been nothing but rude to me so far but I would still do anything for her approval.

"I have heard all about you," her tone was teasing. I instantly got nervous, hoping that she heard about me from Orpheus and not anyone else. "You left my son," her tone was bitter, cold. Before I got the chance to continue she slammed down her glass continuing her verbal assault. "You caused my son the wort heartbreak imaginable. You almost cost him his life! And now you're just back and everything is okay? Is it? When winter comes are you going to tuck your tail and run again?"

Her words were igniting a fire deep within me. Even though she was his mother I did not deserve this sort of treatment. "You don't even know the first thing about me," she opened her mouth to respond but I lifted my hand stopping her. "You think you know me due to my past mistakes but those are just that, mistakes. Leaving your son was the worst mistake of my life and I regret it every day of my life! What you don't know is that I left with the thought that I was helping him. Without me, he would have more food, fewer distractions, and I'm dammed goods anyway. I thought by leaving I was doing him a favor!"

My voice was raising volume the more worked up I got. We had attracted some of the attention of the bar patrons but right now I was too angry to care. "You want to come at me for leaving your son but you abandoned him the moment you could! He was just a baby and you left him! You decided that he was worthy to be in your life after he saved the world. You didn't see his worth until after everything. I saw it the moment I met him. You don't know a thing about either of us so don't you come in attacking me, when you're just as guilty."

The fire burning in her eyes looked like it could incinerate this whole building. Her knuckles were turning white from how tightly she gripped the counter. "You will never be good enough for my son!"

Her words instantly brought up my insecurities. "You don't think I don't know that already?" the anger in my tone fading slightly, my insecurities clouding my mind. "I know that I will never be good enough for you son but I am going to try every day for the rest of my life to make up for my mistakes and be the best I can be for him. He loves me for who I am," I paused gauging her reaction. The fire in her eyes reignited the fire inside of me. "Regardless of what you think, what anyone thinks, I am going to marry your son and we are going to be happy!"

The bitterness in my tone seemed to be the last straw for her. Next thing that I knew I was one the ground, my cheek burning. There was a commotion going on all around me but I couldn't focus on anything. There was a hand on my shoulder, concerned eyes gazing at me. "Come on child, why don't you go upstairs?" Hermes helped me stand and make my way to the stairs.

He quickly turned and made his way back to the commotion. There was lots of yelling and it was driving my head nuts. Carefully I drug myself up the stairs, my stinging cheek making it hard to think. When I finally reached the apartment, I collapsed on the bed tears coming to my eyes.

I know this feeling, Calliope had hit me. The mother of my future husband had hit me because I loved her son. She brought to light the insecurities that I was never going to be good enough for him. Maybe I shouldn't marry him...was I ever really going to be good enough to deserve him?

I hadn't registered anyone was here in the apartment until I was pulled flat against a chest. The feeling of being wrapped in his arms caused the tears to come stronger. He whispered soothing words into my ear, rubbing circles on my hips. He was comforting me without asking me any questions.

I pushed myself to sit up, my back still facing him. My hand came to cradle my swollen cheek; I didn't want him to see it. The shifting of his weight indicated that he was sitting up as well. I brought my knees to my chin, curling up in a ball. "Eurydice?" his tone was soft as if not to disturb me. Still, I refused to turn around or answer him. "Love please talk to me. I don't know how to help if you don't talk to me," he sounded broken.

The thought that I was hurting my poet caused me to finally answer him, "It's nothing you need to worry about love." His sigh let me know that he didn't believe me.

He wrapped me up into his arms, "If everything was okay why did I walk in on you sobbing on the bed? Why did Hermes tell me that you needed me as soon as I walked in the door?" His lips connected with my forehead calming me slightly.

Hermes talked to him? Oh, does he know everything? "I just got into a fight with a customer and it really got to my head," I tried to sound dismissive as not to draw more attention. "I'm just being overdramatic I promise," this time I turned slightly to look at him.

The concern in his hazel eyes was comforting. I leaned up capturing his lips, my attempt to comfort him. I had gotten so consumed in the kiss that I forgot about my tender cheek. When he reached up to cup my face I pulled back instantly, the pain shocking me. His eyes widened immediately, pulling away the hand that was covering the cheek. "They hit you!"

Quickly I pushed myself off the bed, away from the concerned poet. I wasn't able to make it that far before I was pulled back into his chest. He forced chin up to look into his angry/concerned eyes, the look in eyes was frightening. The look he was giving my swollen cheek made it look like he was about to murder whoever hurt me. My hand came up to rest on his cheek, my thumb rubbing back and forth in an attempt to calm him.

He closed his eyes taking a few deep breaths. When his eyes finally reopened the fire inside of them quelled but the concern still bright. "Rydice please tell me what happened," his voice cracked slightly at the end.

The longer I would put off answering him would only hurt him worse but I also didn't want to tell him the full truth. "As I said I got in an argument with a customer and it elevated enough to where they slapped me," I tried to keep my voice calm to help quell his nerves as well as my own.

He sighed, pulling me back to sit on the bed. His head came to rest on top of mine, his large hand stroking my back. "This doesn't make sense...the whole town loves you. Who would hit you?" He was starting to dig, this can be dangerous.

"Orpheus please just drop it," my tone was pleading. I really didn't want him to find out it was his mother who hit me. He stiffened up when I begged him to stop, I know he's going to dig until he finds out the truth. His eyes connected with mine, slightly narrowing. "Orpheus please she is going to hate me even more," my voice was starting to shake.

"Who was it Eurydice? Sofia?" I just shook my head afraid for him to hear the truth. "Tell me," his grip on me tightened slightly, the fire returning to his eyes.

I couldn't control the tears that fell from my eyes, the waterworks quelling the fire in his eyes again. "I'm so sorry love," my voice cracked. "You have to promise me you won't do anything rash," even though his jaw was clenched he shook his head. "It was your mother."

[justkeeponsimming]

Calliope does not need a lot of convincing to come to the humour and hijinks festival with Luka and Mae after he suggests that she bring a friend along with them. Her whole face lights up at the suggestion and he knows who she is calling as soon as she picks up her mobile phone. It’s her very close friend, Morgan, who Luka is sure means as much to her as Mae does to him.

The whole group meet at the Arts Quarter in San Myshuno, Mae arriving first as she only lives in the Spice District with her family. Luka does not need to open his arms as Mae is already running into them as soon as soon as she sees him, He sweeps her up into a passionate kiss, the world around them disappearing as they lose themselves in each other’s embrace.

Morgan: “Oh...I guess it’s official now, huh?” Luka catches his sister and her friend watching him and Mae out of the corner of his eye as they break apart. They’re not official yet, but maybe by the end of tonight they will be!