#five submissions done and two more to go! trying to finish before college starts up again for the second semester

[autumnalfallingleaves]

I've been needing to work on my cursive, so I, for some reason, have decided to only write the text on my Hilda Appreciation Week posts in cursive. Literally why is "favorite" so hard to write help

[tundrainafrica]

Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (13/17)

Summary:  “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Every year, for a few weeks at a time, life had a tendency of stopping.

And it had been following that same pattern for the past few years.

For Levi, the first signs of the freeze came when the last few red leaves fell to the ground, revealing the branches underneath. The trees were bare, the wind chill was cruel and the sky was constantly grey.

But the freeze was only a prelude that accompanied something much more daunting.That period of time in particular manifested as some sort of a limbo. That painful limbo where every student was suddenly reminded that maybe taking five classes at once was a bad idea.That limbo were suddenly all students ever had to think about were those five classes they were taking. Yet for some reason, everyone still found a reason to be stressed.

No training. No club activities.

Just deadline after deadline. Group work after group work. Exam after exam.

Of course it would be stressful. Since for many people, those last few submissions leading up to the holidays were always the most decisive. Making that deadline, making something of quality in that deadline always spelled the difference between honors and mediocre, a C for a degree or a failing F. Especially since for the first few months of school anyway, the urgency never hit.

Levi never had been one of those students gunning for honors. The regular tournaments and the twice a day training and the human need for some rest afterwards always meant that Levi was only barely passing most classes while every now and then scoring a B in one.

He was one of those people who thought of the final few weeks of school as some sort of a messiah, some last chance to pull a D to a C or if he were lucky a B. And those periods in limbo blurred so easily into hazy memories of sleepless nights, irrationally strong hate over some particularly shitty groupmate and those few hour long exams where Levi could have sworn his heart hadn’t even been beating.

He hadn’t expected his senior year to be any different. But on the days leading up to finals week, he started to realize he had fewer exams, a little more papers than usual. A side effect of being a senior in a non science course.

It could have been the luck of the draw maybe but his teachers had been kind and had requested he just send everything over.

Two requirements and One thesis. And Levi could always do it from the comfort of the study hall in the dorm.

The study hall was a medium sized building, most frequented by dormers.

One of its most notable characteristics was the window wide enough that anyone studying would be almost incapable of ignoring the scenery just outside. And in winter, the grey sky, the bare trees and the glass of the window that would fog up at the lightest caress were the main constants of the scenery. And even if it was impossible to ignore for most students, Levi didn’t think too much of it that winter in particular. Since the days leading up to deadlines, Hange had been right next to him.

There were those few moments in between studying when he would allow himself some reprieve. Picking what to focus on had never been a challenge. The dreary early winter scenery felt chilly even from the comfort of the heated study hall yet without even trying and Hange emitted a warmth that had resonated more powerfully than any feelings and preconceived notions rooted in his four years in a bubble. Her hums, her thoughtless mutters even her unfocused brown eyes the few times she looked up to give herself a quick rest, without even trying, they had felt warm and welcoming.

Maybe because just those small actions had been more than enough for Levi to feel very much connected to someone. For the first winter in his college life, Levi wasn’t alone

Although with the long hours studying, they never went too far beyond exchanging some few words, engaging some small talk. When their brains were completely fried, there wasn’t much else they could discuss anyway.

But they didn’t need to talk. Levi already felt it --- as he allowed the scratching of pen and paper and the familiar clack of the keyboard to keep him company in the stark silence of the study hall--- she had done her part to make that early a winter warmer than it usually was. She had done her part as well to make that limbo, that harsh in-between classes and holidays, almost enjoyable, a significant improvement from that limbo he had always braced himself to power through, every single year.

As he became a little more aware of her constant company, sometimes he could imagine the limbo had never been there, and it had all been a faint memory, a faint illusion of his life before.

And all Hange had to do was be there. Even when she was silent, highlighting line after line, cross checking journals and study guides, Hange managed to find a way to still be present.

When it came to studies, Hange’s case was a stark contrast to his, more urgent and more demanding, almost admirable. She had a full load and although Levi never did memorize her schedule, he figured it out soon enough having spent the days leading up to the exams cooped up with her in the study hall.

Exam after exam after exam.

And Hange was never without her laptop, her printed out study guides and her ebook reader. And she had been that way, all the way until the last day of exams, when the lobby of the dorm had emptied out, the hallways to his room a lot less busy and when Levi was particularly less self conscious about the awkward way he pulled his injured self up the stairs to his dorm room every night.

Everyone had gone home for the holidays already. And soon enough, it wasn’t such an odd sight to see just her familiar shape alone in the study hall.

The first day she didn’t have study guides felt like a big change.

He picked her out so easily, especially when there was nobody else hunched over their own notes. And Levi who had sat with her every single day in the study hall couldn't help but celebrate such a tiny development. “You’re done with exams?” He asked as he settled on the chair in front of her.

“One final paper,” Hange said, not looking up from her laptop.

“And then winter break?”

“And then I can finally work on my thesis.”

“Any ideas?”

“Yeah, some.”

“So you’ll probably be working during the break huh?”

Hange sat back on the chair and crossed her arms. “You know, I’m lucky enough the department is still allowing me to make a thesis even without a proposal presentation."

"At least you get to graduate on time."

"I know. This is just a weird place to be when at the start of the year, I was gunning for some best thesis award. Now I’m the only student in my block who’s disqualified. And on top of that, I’m starting from scratch again.”

“You could have continued from the last one.”

Hange closed her laptop and rested her chin on her hand. “I didn’t pick that topic because I wanted to. I just felt it was the most practical option. And when I consulted my parents, they said that was the best option to save time.”

“And it was.”

“But it felt weird. I couldn't bring myself to ask you the right questions or check your knee everyday. You were constantly in pain, sad, for a while you might even have been depressed…” Hange trailed off. She looked outside at the scenery on the other side of the window.

Levi could almost see the grey reflected on her eyes.

Hange continued. “I thought back to how you fucked up your knee and I realized I was reckless. When you scraped your knee I was there, then I pushed you to jump for my thesis and when I fucked up your life… and you never felt it even a little weird or annoying that I would be getting something out of it?" She looked at him as if expecting him to say something.

"I made the decision to push myself. Not you."

“Levi, please be honest. did I pressure you?” That was the moment, Hange chose to meet his gaze. She had a pleading look in her eyes that only made it difficult for Levi to reach within him for him some sort of a response.

He had the answer and it was so easily within reach. Yes, she did pressure him. But was that something he would have wanted to admit?

And when he started to ask more questions, he soon started to ask another more important question, was it Hange who had pushed him to do it? Or was it this image of Hange he was projecting onto her?

“You didn’t pressure me,” Levi said.

“Then why were you working so hard? Why did you push yourself?”

“Because… I felt pressured.”

“If not me, then by what? What pressured you?”

“Myself?” And by extension, everything else maybe? Captain Levi? Commander Hange Zoe? He added to himself. But he wasn’t crazy enough to say it.

“But here’s the thing, I could have sworn you were much calmer than that during the competitions. Actual competitions. But then since we met, ever since you scraped your knee, you were pushing yourself more than usual, you were much more tense. What were you working so hard for?”

“I pressured myself.”

“For what?” Hange’s eyes were boring holes into him. “I’m not your coach. Hell, I’m not an arbiter. I’m not an Olympic team scout. All I needed was your data for a thesis nobody was probably going to read anyway.”

“Don’t you have a paper to finish?”

“The final deadline is next week and I’m more than halfway done already. I have more than enough time to talk,” Hange said. Her face morphed into something a little more desperate. “Levi, I wanna know, what did I do wrong?”

At that moment, Levi froze. His eyes were completely fixed on hers, and he could only watch the way she started to study him, as if searching for an answer in the way he sat, the way he leaned back on the chair, the way he gripped the corner of the table. At once, Levi had become aware of all of his nervous ticks.

The tension in the room was thick enough at least for Levi to tell, that he wasn’t the only one feeling the discomfort. He willed himself to lean back further, get a wider view of her and he noticed the subtle signs, her hands were shaking, her lips were letting out a hint of a tremble.

Hange seemed to be in a similar state, self conscious and nervous. Maybe even ready to repent for whatever she had believed she had done wrong. As if she almost wanted to hear insults, criticisms and she even seemed ready to take a punch in the face.

But Levi’s thoughts were far from that.

The day they met, she had introduced herself and had approached him like they were close friends already.

The night they met, she had hid in the dark, watching silently while he trained. That night, she had stitched up his knee.

And in that process, she made him remember things.

You made me remember things.

And those things were what had pushed him to ‘tense up,’ to ‘work hard’ and to impress her.

But really was it anything wrong?  “You didn’t do anything wrong,” Levi said. “I told you, I made the decision to push myself on my own.”

“But what did I do to push you?”

“Do you have to be doing something to push me? What if I just met you? And I thought, I wanna help her write her thesis then things happened, then overtime I realized I’m enjoying this.”

Hange shrugged. “You pitied your biggest fan enough to give her a freebie huh?”

“I said ‘I’d gladly stay by your side.’” I don’t think people give promises like that as freebies.”

“But you just met me.”

“You haven’t even met me and you were already keeping pictures of me like some sort of stalker.”

Hange only smiled at such an accusation. Within the few months, they had gotten used to a little banter after all. “Are you just humoring me?”

“No. I’m not. I’m happy to have met you and I said it then, I’ll say it again. If you want me to, I’ll stay by your side.”

“It’s just weird, okay. You have a lot more fans than you think you do. And you get friendly with me, some frumpy nerdy fan who followed your tournaments like crazy….”

“What other explanation would you like for this? Soulmates? Fate?”

“I don’t believe in any of those,” Hange said. “I don’t wanna believe in it. I like to think that I just made the decision to reach out to you. And I just got lucky you decided to reciprocate.”

“Then I got lucky you reached out too, Hange. This goes both ways.”

“I guess it does.” Hange closed her laptop and looked up at the ceiling. “Sorry if this came out of nowhere. With my last exam over, this was the only time I got to think about it again. But you know, thanks for staying here with me even if I was ignoring you half the time.”

“I knew you had a lot to make up for and besides, I’m fine just quietly sitting by.”

Hange’s features softened into a warm smile. “Me too. I’ll make this up to you. If I get this paper written by Friday. I’ll submit then. After that, you wanna go somewhere? Just the two of us?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to work on your thesis?”

“Your birthday is on the 25th right? But I wanna do something for Christmas so I’m thinking... what if we have an early birthday celebration and we do something else for Christmas?

“You know that’s my birthday Hange, I get to decide how I wanna spend it.”

“But what if it’s my treat?”

“It’s still my birthday.”

Hange gave him a long look. “Okay, what about this? I’m hoping to use your stories for references to my thesis. And I wanna make it up to you… I’ll treat you out on Saturday for that then after, you decide what you wanna do on your birthday.”

“I never said we couldn’t do that for my birthday.”

“Well if you were just more direct with things we wouldn't have to bounce off ideas like this back and forth. Are we celebrating your birthday early or not?”

“And besides I never even said anything about you using my stories for your thesis.”

“Just answer the questions one at a time Levi,” Hange pressed. She checked her watch. “And...I’m meeting someone in a few minutes.”

“Before I answer, what’s your thesis about?”

Hange looked ready to pull her hair out in frustration. “I don’t know yet but I might use it. Anyway, if you’re not gonna answer me, then we treat this Saturday as my celebration for your birthday. Deal?”

“Yes to the thesis. Yes to the early birthday. Are you happy?”

Hange let out a loud sigh of exasperation. “There. Why did that take so long to get out of you?”

Levi ignored that question. “So when are you going to tell me what your new thesis is about?”

“Maybe during your actual birthday? If you bestow on me the privilege of celebrating such an important occasion with you?“ Hange suggested. She quickly gathered her things and dumped it into her canvas bag. Her movements were wilder, messier than usual. So messy Levi found himself cringing at such a sight. He was fairly certain Hange had done that on purpose.

He only confirmed it a second later, as Hange bolted towards the door and gave him the most smug face.

Levi was sure, if he wasn’t so injured, he probably would have bolted right after her. And he was certain he would have caught up to her.

***

“Nice hoodie. The color green really suits you,” Hange called in a way of greeting.

There were no hi’s or hello’s and she hadn’t given one in a while. Yet for some reason, such an unconventional greeting still had Levi raising eyebrows. “Is this your way of making up for a few days ago?”

Hange shrugged. “What if I just wanted to compliment your new hoodie?”

“For one, this is not a new hoodie,” Levi said. “Besides we didn’t separate on the best of terms last Wednesday and you didn’t even reply to my messages after.”

“Well, I finished my paper and I started my thesis… And hey... I did leave you some messages.”

Levi was sure he didn’t receive any messages. He did not receive any notifications for sure. On top of that, he had taken the liberty as well to check back to his inbox every hour or so. Just to make sure his notifications were actually working

But still just in case he was mistaken, he checked his phone under her confused yet watchful gaze only to find that in fact he was right, she didn’t send any messages. He opened up to their untouched chat box and showed it to her.

“Did you check your document?”

“My document?”

“The one with the soldier and titan stories.”

“Why the hell would you leave messages there?”

“I was catching up to it okay.” Hange’s lips curled up into a smile as she spoke. “And I really enjoyed it. A lot. I left so many comments there. I thought you’d reply.”

Levi looked away guiltily. He turned off the notifications on the document a few weeks back. He liked to blame finals week for the inactivity. Yet with all his final papers completed and submitted, he was still making a conscious effort to ignore that document.

But did he want to tell her that? For a while maybe he did consider telling her he had no intention of touching it again.

But Hange continued talking. “When Commander Hange told Captain Levi to live with him in the woods… Wow you know you described it pretty well, I could almost imagine what was happening. Actually, now that I think about it, I think I managed to dream up something like that. But why did you have to end like that?” Hange twisted her face into a little too serious of an expression. “Shoot or listen it’s up to you.” Hange repeated, an attempt at mimicking Captain Levi for sure, but it was too comical given the context of the tirade.

Shoot or listen it’s up to you.

What if Captain Levi got shot? Before Levi could speak up though, Hange pressed on.

“Now that exams are over… are you gonna write more?”

Levi didn’t reply. Or at least, he couldn’t bring himself to verbalize a reply. Maybe he had brought his head up then down, in the form of some small nod. Maybe it could have been just him looking up to see the crowds making their way to the train station.

The train station closest to their university was one of the busiest ones in town. Even a little past eight on a Saturday morning, there were still crowds large enough that navigating through them still required some effort.

And whether Hange had seen that nod, or whether she had been too distracted by the buying of tickets and the navigating of crowds, Levi never thought too much about it. He brushed the thought aside as soon as she herself abandoned that topic of conversation and the question she asked only a second ago.

And she didn’t push that topic of conversation any longer. Even after they arrived at the platform, even after they boarded the train.

Train rides were always quiet. No one really ever started conversation in trains, instead passing the times with their phones on silent mode, save for a few children who still weren’t completely familiar yet with that unwritten rule

At that moment though, Levi was thankful. Hange was silent. He was silent. And he had a little more mind space to decide how to navigate the topic of his story.

Just in case she did ask again.

***

“Question, so is that the type of green that you imagined for the survey corps cloak?” Hange asked, pinching the sleeve of his hoodie.

Levi looked down at his hoodie. The hoodie was of a dark green color, and he only had to take a glance to put two and two together. “Yes it is.”

“I thought it would be. You know this is the same green I’m imagining.”

Levi smiled. He met Hange’s gaze and even when Hange had looked away, making her way to the park entrance, he made an effort to follow her gaze.

“You thought this far huh?” Levi asked, as she stopped at the turnstile and inserted her ticket then his ticket in.

Hange grabbed a flyer on the way out and looked back at him. “It was a good read. I really felt like I was in the story. And you know, it might sound weird but I kinda really saw myself in her. You know that passion she felt, with the titans and all… I think I’ve felt something similar back when I was still winning competitions when I was younger. I did loads of research back in high school.”

Levi only had to look back at the long hours he had spent stalking her on article after article to confirm that she was telling the truth.

Hange’s rambles about her research in high school though soon faded into some good background noise. He remembered some points, he forgot some. Then, his main focus though had been the green scenery that welcomed him as soon as they exited the train station. The station exit had opened up to a park, a large park with no end in sight. Only flowers and shrubs that lead up to trees with the mountains and horizons at the back of it all.

“When I was reading your story, they talked about what lay beyond the walls… For some reason, I imagined this park. I saw it on a documentary a few years back, streams that seem like they stretch out for eternity, miles and miles of mountains and forests. They said, when you step out of the station, it would feel like another world. And when I thought about what to do for your birthday...” Hange trailed off as she stepped forward into the main path. “I thought… why not show you the scenery I imagined? Maybe I could contribute to your story, help inspire you to write. I hope this view didn’t disappoint.”

It doesn’t. It’s beautiful.

Thinking about it, of course there had been a little more people exiting the train at that station. Of course the station would be much larger and a little more exquisite than other stations.

The view proved to be very much worth the three hour travel and the struggle of changing trains.

They had taken a regional train, then had switched to a few local ones. And looking out the window of the train then, Levi had appreciated how the landscape quickly changed almost blending across one another, the bare trees which almost had a grey tint to them, had gradually shifted to dull bare rice fields. Somewhere in between, the evergreen trees made their entrance, slowly then all at once, in some strange sort of way that Levi was never able to pick out the exact moment that he was sure, the evergreen trees were there to stay for good.

The snow had yet to fall there, and with the evergreen trees and the moss and lichens that littered the paths, Levi could at least pretend it wasn’t winter yet.

Green after all, was a very warm color.

Hange opened her map and leaned a little closer towards Levi so he could get a good look. The map was all green, decorated with markers, mini mountains, rest houses, water refill areas, toilets and picnic sites. There were flower symbols, marked by season. And skirting the circumference of the map were three circles: a large green one, inside it a red one, inside it a yellow one, a very small circle that covered two picnic areas and one flower area occupied the center and next to it a bright red arrow marker ‘You are here.’

“So, I know you wouldn’t be able to handle too much of a walk yet, so we could stick to something short? Just skirt around this area…” She traced the smallest circle along the park and turned to him expectantly.

“What do you wanna see?” Levi asked.

“Anything really. I’m just happy to be able to visit a park like this.”

“No, really Hange. What do you wanna see?” Levi pressed. He planted his bum leg on the ground and stepped forward with it with a little more finesse as if to prove a point. I can walk at least. “If I wasn’t injured right now, where would you have pulled me to go?”

There was some progress at least. He was surprised to see that he could put some extra weight on his knee without so much as a wobble. The stiff brace was probably doing all the work then but Levi was confident he could get a good number of steps across before tiring out his body.

“I’m sure we both don’t want another hospital visit.,” Hange warned.

“I’m fine. I’ve had enough physical therapy lessons and I managed to put some weight on my knee already. Even without the brace..”

For a second, there was a glimmer of hope in Hange’s eyes. She blinked it back before Levi could be sure. “I’m fine with the shortest path,” she said. “This blue one.”

“Are you sure? All we’re gonna see if we follow this path are two picnic sites, a mini forest and one portapotty. You’ll be disappointed.”

“But Levi, what if you get injured again?”

“Didn’t you say this was my birthday treat?”

“We can always go again---”

“In the summer? After you finish your thesis?” Levi raised one eyebrow at her in accusation. “We endured a three hour train ride for this. Let’s make the most of it.”

“Then… which path do you wanna follow?” Hange asked.

Levi gently placed one finger on the green one and traced it. He had only gone half way before Hange pulled the map away.

“No way. That’s at least a five kilometer hike,” Hange said.

Levi pulled the map back gently and pointed at the markers. “Come on, the landscape here seems pretty flat and there’s a forest here and a river. And if we walk ahead here... I’m guessing you wanna see the mountain? They built an observatory there,” Levi said. “Didn’t you say you wanted to know how it feels like to fly?”

Hange’s face turned a little red, her eyes looking a little unfocused as she followed the map with her eyes and looked ahead at the scenery. When Levi squinted, he could tell the peak which stood out from the rest, the small lump that stuck out on one of the hills, a little higher than the rest.

“You didn’t get to do this a lot when you were a kid huh?” Levi asked. He didn’t intend it to be a provocation at first. But when Hange folded her map and took a deep breath, he was grateful for those last few words that popped into his head then.

“My parents didn’t really like taking vacations in the countryside,” Hange admitted.

“One round around there, maybe we’ll go all the way up to the observatory and back,” Levi said. “And if my knee starts hurting, I promise, I’ll tell you.”

Hange’s lips curled up into a playful smile. “If I need to, I’ll carry you back.” She walked ahead, gesturing for him to follow. Levi was almost tempted not to follow. That little playful of an offer and the uncertainty that came with Levi wondering a little too hard about whether she was kidding or nothing, had him entertaining the idea of turning his back on her for a second.

Just to mess with her.

The view had been much stronger then, the way the sun shone on Hange and reflected on her glasses had been too beautiful of a view. It had been a while since he’d seen that much green.

And it wouldn’t be that way for the next three months at least.

As he followed her to the path that followed that large green sign, Levi started to think, maybe that experience might just be worth the embarrassment of a piggy back ride on the way back.

***

Man down!

Hey! Are you alive?

“So the river must be pretty near here huh...” Hange said, not looking up from the map.

Levi had heard the sound of the rushing water stream before she had mentioned it. Whether it had been a river or a stream, he didn’t bother trifling with such detail. The trees that lined the main path, and the sound of rushing water had brought him somewhere else, to another time.

“Wanna see the river?” Hange grabbed his hand, and pulled him towards a smaller path that had been unnoticeable from his peripherals.

As Levi looked to the right, to the shrubs that opened up into an empty space, he noticed the remnants of a path almost completely concealed by shrubs.

“Why would you wanna see the river?”

Hange shrugged. “We don’t get to see this much nature often right? If we follow it…. Maybe we can see a waterfall at the end?”

Levi narrowed his eyes. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen that much nature since he had gone home for a visit more than a few years ago. Maybe that was why the greens and the landscapes had been oddly fascinating.

And Hange. Hange was a lot more entranced than he was. He could have sworn he had lost her a few times to the trees that lined the path.

“We take a look,” Levi said. “Then we go back on the path. I don’t want us getting lost here.”

Hange was too engrossed in her surroundings and then, her eyes had looked a little too wild. But the moment Levi had mentioned that last part, Hange twisted her face into a pout, a pout of defeat at least. “You’re right. Let’s just check out the river here and go back the way we came.” She clutched his hand, gripping a little tighter than usual. “Your knee is still okay right?”

Levi nodded. There could have been some lie to the reaction but it was still too small of a lie for him to need to justify anything. His knee ached for sure. It was an ache dull enough though for Levi to clock it to the tightness of his brace.

To his relief, the river was only less than a two minute walk away. It had seemed farther due to the dense forest that lined the main path. But the density could have been an illusion as well. It opened up to a treeless plain, just a good few meters of grass and beyond that was a river that harbored such a violent flow of water.

Both violent and peaceful, Levi soon realized. As if it was the river’s business to just run hurriedly towards its destination while at the same time crashing towards the shore.

“The river I imagined was a lot like this,” Hange spoke up.

“What river?”

“The one in your story.” Hange answered matter-of-factly. Her eyes were wide with surprise.

Levi wondered if his face showed any sign of that little charade. He had recognized it after all, long before Hange had even mentioned it. It turned out, only the rushing sound of water was enough for him to recall it so vividly.

The view in front of him only added salt to the wounds he just recently realized he had.

Phantom wounds. Even the word phantom couldn’t really justify how it felt then. Back he had written it, he could empathize for sure. Then and there, the view in front of him, had him touching his right eye, just to make sure it was still there and soon after, he wiggled his two fingers just to make sure they were still attached.

“Commander Hange found him in a river like this right? Did you imagine this kind of river too?”

“Maybe,” Levi muttered. He didn’t think too far as to the width of the river or the shape of the blades of grass below. The rushing of the river, the tone of Hange’s voice were enough at least to make him realize that could have very much been the river banks she had found him on. “Commander Hange would now.” Levi added a second later.

Hange cleared her throat. “Well then, I’ll make you imagine it. Call me commander Hange Zoe,” Hange said. “So after the river, where did we go next, Captain Levi?”

“You read it right?”

“They jumped into the river together,” Hange said.

Levi’s eyes widened. “They did?” Levi had dreamt of splashes, the cold water slapping at his face and the numbness that followed. Of course that would have meant them jumping into the river. But why had it taken him so long to put two and two together? “Yeah you’re right. They did.”

Hange chuckled. “Weren’t you the one who wrote it?” She looked back at the dense foliage behind them and back at him. “Let’s go back?”

“Yeah… Sure…” Levi turned on his heel, making his way back to the path only stopping when Hange grabbed at his arm and put it around her shoulder.

“You’re walking much slower now you know,” she said. “Should we go back?”

Levi shook his head. “No, keep going.” His weight on her shoulders was a familiar sensation, almost nostalgic. And the green around him, the breeze and the peaceful rustle of leaves only helped to comfort him further.

There may have been some others along the trail, but Levi wasn’t looking at anyone else. Along the way on the path, the small support had evolved to a piggy back ride.

Surprisingly, Levi wasn’t at all self conscious.

“You’re much lighter than I thought you would be.”

“I honestly feel like I’ve lost weight since the injury. I probably had a lot more muscle back in the summer.” Levi let his head hang back as he stared up at the blue sky above him. The two stopped for a rest in one of the forest clearings a good few meters away from the path.

The ground beneath him was dirty for sure and he felt the leaves and stones through his thick joggers. For some reason though, he wasn’t at all in a hurry to get up.

Hange squeezed his leg. “I’d think physical therapy would have done something about that.”

“Hange, can anyone actually gain muscle learning how to walk again?”

“I’m pretty sure you do other stuff in therapy.”

“Yeah, but it’s far from the training I used to do for high jumps,” Levi said. “Even if my knee magically heals now, who knows if I’ll even be able to manage a two meter jump again.”

Hange closed her eyes and hummed, seeming deep in thought for a second. “Captain Levi was humanity’s strongest,” she said. “Then he got injured in some explosion and ended up half dead on the banks of the river.”

Levi could only watch silently as Hange pulled her legs a little closer to herself and pressed one finger to her left eye and before he knew it, Levi found himself mirroring that slight movement, the phantom pains returned for a split second.

“But I can’t imagine the story ended there. Humanity’s strongest soldier wouldn’t go out of commission over an injury like that. After that, he had to continue fighting right?” Hange continued.

Maybe we should just live here together. Right Levi?

If we keep running and hiding, what will that get us.

The rustle of the leaves, the clear sky above him and the way Hange had rested her elbow on her knees, touching her hand to her left eye. Those were more than enough crumbs for Levi to almost hear the conversation in the silence.

Shoot or Listen. It’s up to you.

“He continued fighting,” Levi said. He let out a cough. “No--- They continued fighting. Captain Levi and Commander Hange Zoe did.”

***

“Maybe I should have built a cart,” Hange said as she rested on the bench. She heaved a breath so strong Levi could have believed she had held her breath the whole way to the rest house.

“You didn’t have to support me here. I could have walked it.”

“Believe me Levi, this isn’t much. It’s like just another day in the gym,” Hange said.

“If we were doing this months ago I could have done five rounds of this trail with you on my back.”

Hange grinned. “Is that a challenge?”

“I said five months ago. Not now.”

Levi stretched his arms out, noting how heavy it was then, particularly when compared to months ago. Back then, it had been his arms carrying him over the bar, then and there stretched out in front of him, those same arms felt like dead weight. And the dead weight stretched out to all parts of his body, all the way until his legs, settling particularly on his braced knee.

And for a second, it hurt. Enough for Levi to instinctively put his hand on top of it, an attempt to pacify it before it got unbearable.

A second later, another propped her hand on top of his and Levi followed it all the way up until Hange.

Her face was hopeful, her eyes wide with what could have been curiosity and soon enough, maybe plans and ideas. “When your knee heals, let’s do this again,” she said.

The path wouldn’t change. It would pass by the same glades, the same rivers and through the halfway point that was the rest house.

The seasons would change the scenery for sure, each would bring its own flavor to the paths. But Levi was sure that wasn’t what Hange was thinking about then as she looked elsewhere, first scanning her surroundings then settling somewhere above.

Levi didn’t have to follow her gaze to know it. It had been the main attraction since they had gotten past the forest and into the clearing.

Of course, that was what Hange would have liked to see.

There was a reason the rest house had been placed so conveniently there at that halfway point. In front of the rest house, the mountain path broke into a fork, one with the green sign which would loop back to the entrance, the other snaked up the mountain, so steeply Levi was sure in his current state, he would only injure himself further if he attempted to climb to the top.

And what lay above there, was the observatory, the one lump he had remembered seeing from the entrance of the station.

We walked that far? Levi thought to himself then. He looked to Hange who was still very much focused on the view of the observatory from their place on the bench.

You’re still looking at it? “You really wanna check it out?” Levi asked.

“The what?” Hange looked back at him, her eyes wide with surprise.

“The observatory, on the peak, up there.”

“Maybe next time.” She shrugged, “Even if you insist, I’m not making you climb that.”

The trail was steep enough at least that Levi was sure they’d have to be on all fours for a good majority of that difficult hike.

“You wanna get something to eat?” Hange asked as she held a hand out to help him up.

“Sure.”

The resthouse only offered the bare minimum, rice balls and sandwiches as if they were doing their part to prevent anybody else from overeating mid hike. Those amenities, the indoor benches and the indoor heating was more than enough though for an already exhausted Levi.

It was as if his body realized that it was time to rest, and chose that moment to complain, putting emphasis in particular to the aches and pains on his knee. Even holding on to Hange who had supported him the rest of the way, had brought with it a few more unwelcome pains and even Levi’s shoulders that had not done much but tense up as he held on to Hange, were starting to hurt.

“You tired?” She asked in between bites of her riceball.

“I’m having fun.”

“That wasn’t the question,” Hange retorted.

“Aren’t you supposed to be tired, you were pretty much supporting me the whole time.”

Hange rolled her shoulders. “I still workout in between studies. Besides I told you, you’re light.” she said.

But Levi did notice in her flushed face and the way she had paused a few times in between sentences, she was tired. Tired but still very much enjoying it. Tired but still very much unsatisfied.

And he saw it in the way she would sneak glances out the window as if…

“You really wanna climb the hill, don’t you?”

Hange bit her lip, quickly crumpling the empty wrapper of the rice ball. As if that could have been enough to stave whatever conflicted feelings seemed to be boiling inside her.

“It’s fine, okay. You can leave me here first.”

“But… I wanna see that view with you.” Hange said. “We could wait until the summer, when your leg is fully healed. Maybe we could ask Erwin about it…”

“Summer is a long time from now and before that, you’re gonna have to finish your thesis, then you’re gonna have to defend it. Who knows how quickly things will change by then,”

Hange avoided his gaze, instead focusing on the crumpled plastic wrapper in front of her and she held it in her hands like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Hange, I can wait here you know.” Levi pressed. “I’ve flown more than enough times to be satisfied for a lifetime. You don’t have to wait for me. Just show me the way next summer.”

Hange required more prodding after that. But Levi had figured out the secret to it already. All he had to do was subtly lead her to the spot where the path quickly bent upwards, to the steep incline, so steep that Levi couldn’t completely get a view of what lay beyond, even with his head bent back it hurt.

Hange’s face though was a little more flushed and there was a sparkle in her eyes. She was almost there.

Levi just had to push her a little closer. “It might get cold up there.” He removed his hoodie and handed it to her. “I’ll be waiting inside the resthouse so I’ll keep warm there. Just come back there after you’re satisfied.”

Hange gave him a look of surprise which quickly softened into something that resembled more a puppy that was given their first treat. “Levi….” She quickly put the hoodie on and for a good few seconds, Levi was struggling to find the next words to say.

‘That shade of green… it looks good on you too,” Levi managed to say.

“This is the survey corps green after all right?” Hange said, giving him the most cheeky expression.

“Yes. And it looks good on you, Commander Hange Zoe.” It could have been instinct or it could have been something else. But maybe along the way, he had just gotten used to pushing and prodding at her, the way she had done to him many times before.

He found himself pressing his left fist into her heart, focusing then on the way the fingers on his left hand curled clumsily into a fist. He was right handed, yet it was his left hand that fought for ground on her chest.

“Climb to your heart’s content.”

Dedicate your heart.

As Hange looked up at the steep hill above her, the afternoon sun chose that moment to shine on her, and Levi made out the sweat in her brow.

“To your heart’s content? That’s a pretty cheesy line Levi.”

That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that.

And before Levi could even say a last goodbye, beg her to come back, she turned her back to him.

He could have called out to her, he was sure of it. But then, as he watched her climb, he could only stand frozen.

At first, he wanted to attribute it to the chill. He was only wearing one thin sweater, one layer, in almost sub zero temperatures. But the biting cold was the last thing on his mind.

Why didn’t you run after her?

The phantom pains came back. And that time, they weren’t pale in comparison to the rest of the sensations. They took over, as if the view in front of him then had breathed new life into those wounds.

Why couldn’t I run after her?

His whole body ached. His legs were bruised, his stomach was eating him inside out. HIs fingers burned and his face stung of wounds.

And he forced himself to look above him as Hange continued to climb. The sun was streaming right into his face, and even as his eyes burned at such a sight, Levi couldn’t look away.

It was as if the afternoon sun was eating her up, every color in her, the shadows consumed her. And soon, the only thing he could see was a black silhouette, that only got smaller and smaller the longer he looked.

See you later, Hange.

“And then what happened?” Levi muttered to himself, as if saying it out loud would make the dreams and the memories come at him faster.

They weren’t feeling obedient at all that day though.

“What happened to Hange?” He pressed, his voice a little louder than a second ago.

Levi forced himself to look back up as if searching for some sort of an answer in the view in front of him then. The memories and dreams after all had a tendency of washing over him after he fixates on the subject a little longer than necessary.

It never came though and soon enough, her silhouette was small enough to be fully covered by his pinky finger as he reached his hand out and raised his hand over his face.

And he was starting to get a little more desperate. If he couldn’t call out to those memories, he could call out to her, right?

“Hange!” Can you hear me? The memories couldn’t have ended there.

The last view of her was a silhouette, a black silhouette, much farther and much smaller than the one in front of him then. But at that moment, she felt far, completely out of reach.

Levi’s throat burned, his vision blurred as if trying to get rid of even that remnant of view.

Around that time, time stopped. Everything started to dissolve into conglomerations of sights and sounds. He was starting to even have trouble processing the rustling of the leaves and even the voices in the background.

And as he tried to take control of his body then, with the smaller motions, Levi soon started to realize he wasn’t even in control of his fingers, his hands or his legs. He moved the goalposts, attempting to at least take control of breaths, the rhythm as he swallowed that lump in his throat.

His body though was a spiteful thing. As soon as he became aware of those small motions though, it deprived him of those comforts as well.

And Levi soon found himself struggling to breathe, struggling to swallow.

Soon, he was struggling to do anything to remind himself that his body was still his to control.

“Hey, sir are you okay?”

What…

“Hey Levi… Look at me?”

Hange… When did you get here?

Hange’s eyes were fixed on his. And she narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brows as if deep in thought. And in her eyes he saw a glimmer of something else. Concern?

Soon enough, a shadow went over his right eye and before Levi could recoil, it was gone. But the shadow left the cool feeling of something wet under his eyes.

Wet...Tears?

Hange spoke up only confirming it. “Levi… Why are you crying?”

[elsanna-shenanigans]

June Contest Submission #6: Love, imperfect

Words: ca. 5,500 Setting: mAU Lemon: lime CW: angst  

–

“Do you think they’ll end up canceling people’s flights?” 

With her heart still stuck in her throat, Anna opened her eyes to look at the stranger sitting next to her on the plane. He appeared calm, but then again, she was sure that so did she. 

“I hope not,” she muttered before she gave him a tight-lipped smile and looked away. Another rough movement had her gripping the armrests and her stomach dropping. She kept trying to remind herself that airplanes were built to handle the worst—or so the article she’d skimmed as she waited at the gate had said. Even in the most severe turbulence, your plane isn’t moving nearly as much as you think! It sounded like a load of bullshit then and it sounded like a load of bullshit now. Plus, the exclamation mark at the end was absolutely unnecessary. 

The man next to her loudly cleared his throat. He seemed like he was trying to grab something out of the pocket of his trousers. Anna glanced at him. What the hell are you doing? she wanted to ask. The whole thing set her on edge for some reason. She just wanted to land in Miami already, call a cab and get to the address Elsa had texted her days prior. Was she looking forward to it? Not really. But it was better than thinking she was about to die and hadn’t even said goodbye to Chester, her cat. 

She’d told her parents this wasn’t a good idea. But her mom had insisted on some quality time because, “When was the last time the four of us spent some time together?” Anna had no idea, and she’d said so as much, which only aggravated her mother even more. But wasn’t she proud that her daughters were onto bigger and better things? Surely a few skipped holidays meant nothing compared to the pride their parents must feel on a daily basis. 

The turbulence continued. There was a storm coming. It wasn’t supposed to hit until late that night, which still allowed Anna to make it to Miami on time and probably even make it to Elsa’s apartment before the rain began. 

As to her parents… well, she really hoped their flight wasn’t canceled.

~~~

Anna could still remember the exact moment she became fixated with success. It happened on the summer day when she was ten years old and saw her older sister, Elsa, draped in four gold medals at the regional swimming competition. Their mom had signed them up for the swimming team at the community center after reading an article on the importance of sports in building girls’ self-esteem. Elsa had provided an aloof smile before she’d gone back to reading her book, but Anna… she was excited—she loved swimming. 

 When the season started, it didn’t take Anna a stopwatch to tell her that Elsa was easily the fastest swimmer on the team, often finishing races a full length ahead of everyone else. Anna would know, being that she was usually the one bringing up the gear. “You just need to practice more,” her mom would gently instruct when she complained about being last. So she spent the summer in the pool, with her dad dropping her off early on his way to work while Elsa was still at home, probably combing her pretty, perfect blond hair. Anna didn’t mind though, because she was sure all the effort would pay off in the end when she showed her parents and her sister how good she’d become in the final match of the summer. But things didn’t exactly go as her optimistic ten year-old self had expected. Elsa won four first place medals while all Anna walked away with was a cruddy participation ribbon with dry hot glue sticking out from under its cheap label. 

Watching Elsa standing on the podium, nodding humbly at the rousing applause with the medals draped around her neck and that stupid, perfect blond hair darkened still by the water, Anna was filled with a burning need to be up there. Because she didn’t just want to be a hard worker. She wanted to be a winner. 

But unless she wanted to grow up in Elsa’s superior gene pool shadow, she had to find another way to get noticed. In the end, she learned that if she studied hard enough and had a 4.0 GPA, she’d earn awards and scholarships. She discovered that if she steered clear of sports or sororities in college and filled her time with extracurricular activities like the debate club, she would be able to quell the worries in her head that her sister was the only winner in the family. 

Of course, those who truly knew her, knew how much she loved Elsa. It was one of those things that just… was. Inevitable and innate. In her eyes, Elsa was perfect. And she hated her for it just as much as she adored her for it. Because where she was clumsy, Elsa was poised. Where she didn’t know when to shut up, Elsa would say the right thing at the right time. Where she would feel inferior, Elsa would tell her just how much there was to admire. And where she would go weeks without contact, Elsa would give her a call, reminding Anna of all the times she has ever loved her. 

But that didn’t seem to matter in the end. Anna pulled away from the family in order to forge her own identity and so did Elsa. The Holmen sisters, thriving. The parents, proud. It was perfect. It should have been perfect. Except it wasn’t. 

Somewhere deep inside, Anna always knew there was something missing.

~~~

The night skies were crackling by the time she got in the taxi. The driver was requesting an address. The radio was giving out unsurprising news.

There is a thunderstorm warning already being reported by the National Weather Service in areas such as Miami, Miramar, Aventura and other parts of South Florida, with potential wind gusts up to fifty-five miles per hour—

“You’re shitting me,” Anna muttered under her breath, already pulling out her phone again. The first time she’d done it was to let Elsa know she’d landed. Some drab text that was responded to with a much nicer Can’t wait to see you! It shouldn’t have warmed Anna as much as it did but that was beside the point. 

Her mother picked up after the fourth ring. “Hi, honey. I was just about to call you. Did you land safely?” 

“Hi. Yes, I did. Did your flight get canceled yet?” 

“No,” her mother drawled. “It is delayed.” 

The man on the radio went on and on about flooding and frequent lightning. The first signs of rain speckled the car’s windows. The trees were wildly ruffled by the wind. 

“But you saw the news, right? It’s going to be canceled eventually.” 

“Even if it is,” Iduna said calmly, “we can fly in tomorrow. This isn’t an emergency. We can wait.” 

Anna pinched the bridge of her nose. “This was a bad idea,” she couldn’t help but say. 

There was a pause before Iduna spoke again. “Can you fault us for wanting to spend time with you two? It’s the only time of the year you’re free, given how holidays seem to be getting more and more complicated for you.” It was a jab, fair and square; exactly what Anna got from skipping Thanksgiving and Christmas for the past two years. 

“Could’ve been anywhere but Miami,” she still mumbled. 

“Miami is nice,” her mother argued. “Besides, your sister’s apartment has room for all of us.” There was something hidden in her mother’s voice that made her feel dejected. The underlying praise that Elsa always seemed to get even by the most offhanded of comments. Even when she wasn’t in the room. 

Anna was ready to hang up. 

“Just let me know when you’ll be flying in.” 

“Maybe you girls can catch up in the meantime,” Iduna suggested as if she hadn’t heard her, “I know it’s been a while for you too, but trust me, it’ll be like old times.” 

Looking out the window, Anna forced a smile even though no one was watching. “Sure, mom,” she said. Truth was, she couldn’t remember what old times even felt like. 

After hanging up, she leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes. The ride was supposed to be a short one. Ten minutes or so, Elsa had told her over the phone some days ago. She’d sounded happy—excited in that demure way of hers that was stupidly charming and which drove Anna nuts in a way she could not explain. 

Was Anna also excited? It was hard for her to tell. Her knee began to bounce as soon as the car merged into traffic. Her palms were damp despite the coolness inside. Her heart was beating like it was trying to hammer its way out of her chest. No, she was nervous. Or maybe… maybe she was both. 

Maybe she was just a mess and acceptance was long overdue.

When the taxi slowed down and parked outside an apartment building Anna only recognized from pictures Elsa had shared in their family group chat, she briefly considered asking to be taken back to the airport. But instead, she paid the fare and allowed the driver to pull her carry-on suitcase out of the trunk amidst strong gusts of wind and a rain that was starting to pick up. “Welcome to Miami,” the man exclaimed—sarcastic given the circumstances—while all Anna could do was give him a smile she was sure looked more like a grimace. 

The wheels of her suitcase announced her entrance into the building. The lobby was empty; quiet in an almost unsettling way. She sent Elsa a quick message and ignored the sensation of her stomach churning in anticipation. A distant thunder rumbled as she made a left, slowly heading for apartment 112. 

It didn’t come as a surprise that Elsa was waiting for her outside. She was leaning against the door, flashing Anna a lovely smile she did not know she had missed until that moment. 

“I’m so glad you’re finally here,” were Elsa’s first words. 

“I thought I wasn’t gonna make it,” were hers. 

Her sister met her halfway with outstretched arms that welcomed her with such gentle affection that Anna could not help but melt in the embrace for a brief pause. Elsa smelled like gardenias, faint and familiar. 

After stepping back, she stretched out a hand to grab a hold of Anna’s suitcase. “Let me take this for you.” 

“I—it’s okay. It’s not heavy.” 

Elsa gave her another disarming smile. “I don’t mind, Anna. You must be tired.”

She found herself blushing for no reason as she let Elsa take the suitcase and lead her down the hallway. “I’m not, actually. Just… weary. Lots of turbulence.” 

“Well,” Elsa dragged out, “mom called.” 

“Of course she did.” 

Elsa chuckled. They entered the apartment at the same time that she announced, “Their flight’s canceled ‘til tomorrow.” 

Anna rolled her eyes. “Shocker.” She paused in the middle of the spacious living room, taking things in. It all looked so perfect. The immaculate furniture, the carefully arranged throw pillows, the pristine wooden floor, the tall plant in the corner that looked real. And then the absolute mess of a storm that was happening outside the window. “I told her since the beginning this was—” 

“A bad idea?” 

Anna turned to where Elsa still stood in the hallway, a hand resting on the handle of her suitcase. 

“What—” 

“Mom told me,” she provided, a sad, apologetic smile slowly appearing on her face. 

Anna’s stomach churned. “I’m sorry. I just meant that—you know, Miami’s weather isn’t the best at this time of year and maybe we could have gone somewhere else like the woods or a small town or, I don’t know, New York or something.” 

“Of course. Yeah.” Elsa rubbed her arm in what Anna could tell was a sign of self-consciousness. “The weather’s pretty bad, huh?” 

“The worst,” she awkwardly agreed. 

They stood in silence for a few seconds before Elsa pointed her thumb in the kitchen’s direction. “I have wine. Would you like some?” 

Anna felt a sliver of ease. “Wine would be nice.” 

She sunk into the sofa while Elsa went to grab a bottle of chardonnay and a couple of glasses. Through the window behind her, she could see that the storm had gathered force. Gusts of wind whipped the heavy rain around while the trees were roughened by it, moving sideways as if tugged by a rope. The street lights, it seemed, shone for a deserted world. 

“Are you hungry?” Elsa asked once she was back from the kitchen. “I can cook something real quick if you are.” 

“I had lunch before getting on the plane,” she answered as she watched Elsa pour the wine. She let out an inconspicuous huff of breath, rubbed her sweaty palms on her jean-clad thighs. Guilt gnawed at her insides. But she meant what she’d said. This was a bad idea because of the weather. Nothing else but that. 

So why did she still feel so guilty? 

“Thank you,” she muttered when Elsa handed her the glass of wine. She watched her join her on the sofa, prop both feet up, fix her platinum blond hair by running a hand through it. Anna wasn’t sure why such a banal action drew so much of her attention. So she decided to look everywhere that wasn’t her sister. “This place is cozy,” she commented.

“It looks like it’s been pulled straight out of a catalogue,” Elsa said. 

“I mean…” 

“It’s okay, you can say it.” 

She chuckled. “Fine. It does. But it’s still nice, and it’s very you.” 

“Very me?” 

“Yeah, you know,” she shrugged, “perfect.” 

Something flashed across Elsa’s eyes that was gone before Anna could discern it. The guilt grew. She tried to mollify it. “You did a good job, though, seriously.” 

“I should take that as a compliment, coming from a successful real estate agent.” 

Anna rolled her eyes but the smile on her lips gave her away. Being called successful by the one person who’d always seemed to be better than her at everything felt nothing short of amazing. “I should hang a sign on your door that says ‘Holmen Approved’.”

Elsa laughed, which instinctively made her smile grow. “What an honor.”

A thunder rumbled in the sky. Anna wondered if it would be a good idea to close the curtains. Watching the city being trashed by a thunderstorm didn’t exactly scream comfort.

“This is my first Miami storm, you know?” Elsa suddenly said. 

“Popped your cherry then.”

Her sister’s foot bumped against hers. “Gross.”

Anna took the time to take a large swig of wine. She wanted to take the edge off herself; get rid of that nagging notion that this was bound to end up being a disastrously awkward night simply because she did not know how to act normal around Elsa. “So how’s the city treating you overall?” she decided to ask, aware that she’d probably asked this before but unable to come up with anything else at the moment.

“I can’t say it’s been bad,” Elsa said, “But I’m looking forward to starting the school year. I’ve had too much free time on my hands.” 

“So there’s no one in your life?” she found herself asking.

“I…” Elsa tilted her head, giving her a curious look, “I would have told you if there were,” she said in a voice that ignited in Anna a deep feeling of shame. How many people had she been with that she had not told her sister about? 

“Besides,” Elsa added, “I just moved here. You know I’m no social butterfly.”

“Right,” she said before she looked away. How could she have forgotten? Elsa had always liked spending time at home rather than being outside, meeting people and making new friends. She liked her books and her European authors whose names Anna could never pronounce. She liked her solitude, her quiet time. And yet… Yet, it had always been her the one unwilling to lose touch.

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“What about you?” Elsa repeated. “Anyone in your life?”

Anna found it a little comical that they were carrying themselves as if they hadn’t talked in years rather than three days ago. “No,” she responded, “Not for a while.” 

Elsa’s gaze carried a strange sense of intimacy. “I’m sure there’s someone out there…” 

She paused. “Right now? I hope not.” 

The hearty laugh that broke out of Elsa caught her by surprise. It was so uncommon in her that for a moment Anna did not know how to react. All she could process was the way she swooned despite herself, feeling warm all over and even, she dared think, happy. Happy in the company of Elsa in a way she had not been so in years. 

The lights went out some time later, while she was in the bathroom and Elsa was back in the kitchen preparing something to eat. It was one of those things that was predictable yet appalling, and the only thing Anna could think of saying in the middle of the pitch black room was, “Well shit.” 

Back in the living room, Elsa was moving around with her cellphone acting like a single spotlight at a club. She was lighting candles, placing them each on strategic places. “All these catalogue candles are finally going to serve a purpose,” she said, and Anna couldn’t help but smile at the offhandedness of it.

It wasn’t until they’d sat back down, bathed in the warm light of the candles while they ate and shared a lighthearted conversation, that Anna could have laughed at it all. 

Because her mother was right. It was like old times.

~~~

The window had ceased to rattle from the gusts of wind outside, but the power had yet to return and the rain had yet to stop. The food was gone and so was the chocolate bar Elsa had taken out of the non-working fridge. A new bottle of wine sat on the coffee table amidst lit up candles. The girls sat on each side of the sofa, facing each other. 

“There’s no way he said that,” Anna laughed. She was nursing her third glass of wine, more at ease now than she had been the whole two preceding days. 

“He did,” Elsa groaned while she covered her face with the hand that wasn’t holding her own drink. “And then he slipped me a note and winked at me. He winked at me!”

“What did the note say?” 

“Something about how he’d been crushing on me since I gave that Durkheim lecture in class. Can you imagine? How bold he had to be to slip a note like that to his professor?” 

Anna laughed some more. “Can you blame him though?” 

“I’m not sure how to answer that,” she responded, embarrassed still.

“Kinda hard to blame him at all for having a crush on you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I—” Anna paused. What did she mean? “You know, you’re just,” she waved a hand in her general direction, “you.”

Elsa arched an amused eyebrow. “Me.” 

“Yeah. You’re just… really crushable. No. Wait. That came out wrong. I just—I mean you’re just so pretty and smart and your hair’s always so perfect and you’re practically good at everything you do. So what's—what’s not to like?”

Elsa was biting her lip. It was very distracting. “You think too highly of me,” she murmured.

Anna frowned. “No, I don’t. Or maybe I do. But that’s because it’s true.”

“But it’s not…” She shook her head, trailing off. 

Lightning suddenly illuminated the room. Anna readied herself for the thunder while across from her Elsa began to recoil. The loud bang came at last, making her sister visibly wince.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“You sure?” 

Elsa shrugged nonchalantly. “Thunder just makes me anxious.” She took a sip of wine as if to restate the casualty of her words, but Anna wasn’t convinced. She watched her closely for a handful of seconds while in her mind she struggled to make a decision. She dwelt on it, bit the inside of her cheek in hesitation. But in the end, the need to comfort Elsa won over everything else.

“Come here,” she said.

“What?”

Anna spread her legs open and patted the empty space between them. “Come here.” 

She playfully rolled her eyes. “I’m not a kid, Anna.”

“If you don’t tell anyone, I won’t either.” 

Elsa bit her lip again. And again, Anna’s eyes traveled down to witness it. She set her glass of chardonnay on the coffee table. Might be best to stay clear of alcohol for the rest of the night. 

Elsa moved slowly across the sofa until she finally settled between her legs, facing forward. Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa’s midriff, and was unable to ignore how the whole of her seemed to react to the touch, the proximity, the warmth of Elsa’s body. She rested her chin on her shoulder, felt the way Elsa relaxed and leaned back. A smile appeared on her face. She could not remember the last time they’d embraced like this. 

“You weren’t scared of thunder before,” she pointed out in a soft voice.

“Probably one of those things that comes with age.”

She was amused by her answer. “We’re not that old.”

“But we’re not ten anymore,” came Elsa’s whispered retort. She finished the last of her wine and stretched an arm to place the empty glass next to Anna’s on the table. As she rearranged herself again, Anna paid close attention to the softened features of her face in the dimness of the room. She traced with her eyes the lines of her profile, the freckles that had always been fainter than hers, and the lips that, for some reason, kept drawing her attention tonight.

“What?” Elsa asked.

Anna blinked. “Nothing,” she said, heat prickling the back of her neck.

Her sister shifted slightly in their embrace in give her a side glance. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“Because.”

“Hasn’t dad told us enough times that ‘because’ is—”

“Not an answer,” Anna finished. “Yes, I’m aware.”

Elsa cast her another glance, lingering this time in a more intimate way. "Then tell me.“

She hesitated. “Were you always this stubborn?”

“No,” Elsa chuckled, “that was you. Stubborn and determined.” 

“Well, I had to be.”

“Why do you say that?”

Anna’s lips parted but no words left her. They were drowned in silence for a moment, the rain incessant against the window. What could she possibly say to that? How could she possibly explain that the sole reason of her determination—of her never-ending stubbornness—was the one sitting safely in her arms?

She rested her chin on Elsa’s shoulder and looked down instead, focusing on the hand that rested atop hers; on the hand whose fingertips had been drawing loose patterns on her skin only seconds ago, drawing a comfort she did not know she deeply needed.

“Anna?”

“Yes?” she answered, lost someplace else.

“Say something…”

She slowly tensed up. There was so much vulnerability in Elsa’s voice that she knew she wasn’t just seeking random thoughts and vacant words. But where Elsa wanted the truth that hid beneath her silence, Anna wanted none of the insecurities that came along with it. She wanted none of the detachment, none of the things that could separate her from her sister. Not tonight. Not again. But no matter how hard she tried, the thoughts persisted. Like a nagging passenger in the backseat of her mind, Anna could not ignore what had been so deeply ingrained into her life.

“It’s dumb,” she murmured at last.

“I’m sure it’s not.”

Anna breathed a weary sigh through her nose. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head to the side, resting against Elsa’s. Her mouth opened again, then closed. Words felt heavy in her tongue, reluctant to come out.

“Why won’t you just drop it?” she asked.

“Because,” Elsa said, “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me.”

“Is that what you think I feel?”

“Is it not?”

At her silence, Elsa extricated herself from Anna’s arms. She moved in the sofa until she was facing Anna, sitting still between her legs, knees digging into the cushion. The light of the candles danced in the blue of her eyes, piercing Anna’s own until the air left her in one quiet rush. There lay an ardency beneath them, captivating and impossible to look away from, so much so that Anna’s desire to stay quiet shifted into something else entirely.

But then Elsa was talking again, and again, she was asking to know what was going on in Anna’s head. And out of everything she’d ever had to learn, why could she not have learned to deny Elsa a thing?

She gathered what she could of the scattered remnants of her past, of the cumulus of memories that ruled most of her decisions and shaped their relationship into what it was today. The impotence of feeling like she’d never be as good as Elsa turned into the impotence of being unable to put it into words. The back of her eyes stung. A lump formed in her throat. She waved a hopeless hand in Elsa’s direction, and let it drop in defeat.

“I look at you,” she finally said, “and I see all the things I’ll never amount to.” Pain flashed across Elsa’s eyes, causing Anna to look down at the space between them. “I can’t see anything else but that,” she softly added, “and it gets in the way… It’s been getting in the way for so long.”

“Anna, I…” She went quiet. Anna could see the way her chest rose and fell. The brow that was marred with sadness and regret. “I wish I’d known this sooner.”

“Why?”

“So that I could show all the ways you’re a much better person than me.” 

She let out a humorless chuckle. “That’s so unlikely it sounds ridiculous.”

“How?” Elsa questioned. She inched closer until her hands were cupping Anna’s cheeks. “Please tell me how so that I can prove you wrong.”

At the impossibility of looking away, Anna ended up lost in her sister’s eyes. “I don’t know,” she whispered, deep down knowing she would never find an answer to that.

“I know you think I’m this perfect human being,” Elsa murmured, “and that I have everything I could hope for. But the truth is that all the accomplishments in my life could never compare to the mere presence of you in it. And still… I’ve always missed you, even when you were right next to me.”

Anna’s eyes fluttered closed. The walls were crumbling around her and all she wanted was for Elsa to become her solace.

A thumb caressed her cheek, and she leaned into the touch without thinking. Her heart was thumping heavily in her chest. Her voice was raw when she finally asked, “Do you miss me now?”

“… No.” 

Slowly, Anna opened her eyes. A tender smile was tugging at Elsa’s lips and, like a magnet, the depth of Elsa’s gaze drew her in. She leaned closer until they were breathing the same air and the buzzing in her mind had quietened to a vacant hum. The wind howled, but all Anna could register was the blood pulsing in her ears and the barest of sighs as she softly pressed her lips against Elsa’s.

It was sudden and overwhelming. An impulse fueled by a feverish pleasure that soon drove her to press harder by capturing Elsa’s lower lip between hers. She sucked lightly, eliciting the softest moans out of Elsa as warmth shot straight through her body and settled between her legs. It wasn’t until she nibbled, hoping to elicit a greater reaction out of her sister, that Elsa’s lips parted and their tongues met in a desperate need that would not be satiated.

Submerged in candlelight, their bodies shifted until Anna was lying on top of Elsa with both forearms framing her head. There was no pause in between, only the innate desire for more. Anna could feel her sister writhing beneath her, subtle movements of her hips bucking while her hands trailed up Anna’s back. The room was growing hot. She could feel the smoldering heat in this sweater she wanted to take off as soon as possible. But it was hard to do that when Elsa would not stop kissing her in a way she’d never been kissed before. Her passion shook Anna to the core. It sent waves of ecstasy through her body.

With one last sucking motion on Elsa’s lower lip, she kissed her way down the line of her jaw and towards the warm, soft spot below her ear. The scent of gardenias reached her nostrils. A low, throaty moan reached her ears. Elsa’s hand weaved itself through her hair as she bucked her hips for the last time that night.

The power came back on and all Anna could think of for a dreadful split second was that their parents had walked in on them. She froze with Elsa’s fingers still in her hair and her lips parted in a mix of shock and fear. She was panting, her arms shaking from the propped up position she was in. Below her, Elsa was dead silent.

In the seconds that followed, Anna quickly sat up and looked at her sister with wide, frightened eyes. Elsa’s hair was disheveled, her lips here rosy and plump. The air escaped her lungs in one quick, short breath.

What had they done?

“I’m so sorry,” Anna rushed out, all but falling off the couch on her way out of the living room.

“Wait—”

She did not listen. Her feet carried her down the hallway.

“Anna—”

She ran out of the apartment, the door slamming shut behind her.

Blinded by panic, Anna sprinted towards the exit. She heard a door opening and shutting again, her name being called out. She registered the everlasting emptiness of the lobby before the front glass doors parted, leading her out into the night and a city that was still being pounded down by rain. There, covered only by the roof of the driveway, she froze again, aware of her feet clad in nothing but the mismatched socks she’d put on this morning and the flimsy sweater she’d wanted to get rid of mere minutes ago.

Elsa’s helpless voice came from behind her: “Anna.”

She heaved a sigh and, a moment later, turned around. Elsa was standing there, in socks and downbeat, watching Anna with eyes that begged her to stay. 

“I’m sorry,” Anna said, loud enough that it could be heard above the downpour.

“Don’t apologize. Please.”

“But I shouldn’t have—” She looked away, withdrawing into herself. Her mind was a mess. All that talk about Elsa being perfect must have gotten to her head, messed with her feelings. They got carried away, that was all. It did not matter that she’d enjoyed kissing her. It could not matter.

But Elsa… 

Anna looked at her again; at the person who’d always given her nothing but unconditional love and support. She saw the person who’d taken her out for ice cream after she flunked her calculus test in twelfth grade, the one who’d cheered the loudest when she graduated college. She saw the twelve year-old girl who’d turned six chocolate gold coins into medals and draped them around Anna’s neck that one memorable summer. She saw them all in the woman Elsa had become and was overcome by an insurmountable need to cry. Because Elsa had been the greatest constant in her life and still, Anna felt as if she were seeing her for the first time. Imperfect but beautiful all the same.

“Come back inside,” Elsa murmured at last, taking a step closer towards her.

“But what we did…”

Elsa shook her head and extended a hand for Anna to take. “What we did, we can figure it out together.”

Lightning gave way to thunder, but Elsa barely flinched: Anna was finally holding her hand.

They fell into each other’s arms the same imminent way that sunshine follows the rain. Anna let herself be held as she burrowed into the warmth of Elsa’s neck and hugged her tighter around the waist. Tears prickled her eyes before she shut them closed. They would figure it out, she reminded herself. Whatever this was—whatever this could be—they would do it together. 

“You know,” Elsa said after a while, holding her still, “I don’t think either of us would have made it very far in socks.”

“I did realize pretty late that this was a bad idea.”

Elsa hummed. “Seems like the night’s been full of bad ideas, huh?”

“Maybe not all of them were bad,” she dared to say in a voice so low that the words would have been lost to the rain had her sister not been so close.

“Maybe,” Elsa whispered, holding her tighter and placing a lingering kiss on the side of her head. 

[missjanjie]

Like a Million Dollar Bill | Jessence

Title: Like a Million Dollar Bill Summary:  Jaida has recently come to terms with being a widow after her husband suddenly passed under totally normal and not at all suspicious circumstances. As the sole heir, she also suddenly finds herself richer than she could ever imagine. But she doesn't stay a lonely widow for long, as one night at her friend's lounge brings a woman into her life that might even be more valuable than her fortune. Word Count: ~3.2k Relationship(s): Jessence (Jan Sport/Jaida Essence Hall) Rating: E Notes: this is my submission for the black girl magic fic challenge so a note for that is the title is from the song 'million dollar bill' by whitney houston. also big thanks to @janssports for beta-ing

Read on AO3

-

“That finalizes everything, Mrs. Whitham, and again, I am so sorry for your loss.” The man from the probate court shook Jaida’s hand before she got up to leave.

Jaida did her best to maintain the miserable expression she had on through the funeral. She thought about the disdain she felt when the man used her married name, how desperate she was to regain her sense of individual identity. She was free, only if she played her cards right. But this was a long time coming, to say the least. “Thank you so much, sir.” She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief before leaving the room.

Sitting on a bench in the hallway was her younger sister, Heidi. She got up and took her hand. “You good?” she asked gently, coming off as nothing more than the concerned sibling of a grieving widow. But the look in her eyes reminded Jaida that she knew. She knew it all. Someone had to, lest the burden of keeping a secret became overwhelming and came out to the wrong person.

And Jaida continued to play her role, standing upright and swallowing thickly, because she was just struggling to stay strong. “I will be,” she said with a tremor in her voice.

“Who did he appoint as the…” Heidi furrowed her brows as she wracked her brain. “What’s the word again? For the person that’s gonna transfer his funds to you?”

“Executor,” she answered. “And it’s his sister, lord help me.” She sighed. Her deceased husband’s family had never been fond of her - due both to the twenty-year gap that existed in their relationship and outright racism. The only upside to that was no one outside the family took their complaints very seriously, but that didn’t mean she was at all happy to have to deal with her. “Anyway, I’m gonna go to Shea’s lounge tonight. She’s got a new singer, should be cute. You wanna come?”

Her sister shook her head. “Naw, I gotta get my ass up early to finish packing. Gonna take some time to move into that fancy-ass mansion.” She chuckled. It might not have been the best time to be visibly excited, but she was so thrilled to get herself and her dogs out of her one bedroom, seven hundred square-foot apartment.

“Suit yourself.” Jaida shrugged as she pulled her coat on. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

------

The lounge Shea owned was chic, calm, a place Jaida would probably still frequent if it wasn’t her best friend’s pride and joy. It was the type of place where she could dress up to go to, without feeling like she had to be on her best, most reserved behavior. And after all of the day’s events, she just wanted to relax, entering the club and making a beeline to her friend.

“Hey, I’m so glad you made it!” Shea beamed, hugging her tightly. “Just wait until you see our new act. She’s fresh out of university with a fancy musical theatre degree, and the bitch can sing. It’s fucking angelic, Jaida.” She didn’t mention Jaida’s husband’s death at that moment. While she didn’t know exactly what happened, she knew how miserable Jaida had been, how there hadn’t been any love between them in god knows how long. She knew how poorly he treated her and that his death probably wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

Jaida chuckled, walking with her to the bar while Shea ordered them a couple of drinks. “Damn, you really hyped her up, I’m gonna just take your word on it,” she assured, taking a sip of her drink when the bartender placed it beside her.

“Just come on, her set’s about to start,” Shea threw some money down on the counter and pulled Jaida along to one of the velvet couches so they could sit and watch.

Jan walked onto the stage, the spotlight framing her perfectly. She wore a strapless wine-red dress that just hit the ground and was tailored perfectly to her body, accentuating her curves while giving her an air of elegance one would expect from an upscale lounge singer. And her voice was as enchanting as Shea had talked it up to be and then some. There was no doubt that every patron of that lounge had their attention fixed solely on the stage.

“So, what do you think?” Shea asked once the first song had ended.

Jaida grinned, her gaze never breaking away from the singer. “I think I’m in love,” she retorted.

Her friend looked at her and let out a soft laugh. “What, are you following in your husband’s–may he rest in peace–footsteps? She’s twenty-two.”

“Bitch, I’m forty, not eighty. This is a new chapter in my life, who’s to say I can’t include a hot twenty-something in it?” Jaida scoffed.

Shea finished off her drink. “You know what? I respect that. I’ll introduce you two once she’s done,” she decided.

And true to her word, Shea took Jaida backstage once Jan’s set was over. “Wonderful job, darling,” she said as she walked in. “Jan, I’d like you to meet my dear friend, Jaida. We met when we were both in college, so, back when we were about your age.”

Jan looked at Jaida, tilting her head. “Well, how’s that possible when you’re clearly not a day over twenty-five?”

Shea rolled her eyes. “Oh lord, I’ll leave you guys to it,” she said and left the two of them alone.

Jaida chuckled. “Don’t you worry about her,” she said to Jan. “But anyway, you really were fantastic out there. That fancy college degree I keep hearing about did you well.”

Jan smiled, absentmindedly twirling her hair around her finger. “Why thank you. With all the debt it plunged me into, it better.”

The older woman clicked her tongue sympathetically. “Shit, how far in the hole are you?”

“About thirty grand.”

Jaida glanced around, then sat down beside Jan. “Listen, don’t go telling nobody, but I got you. I’m a couple days away from coming into a lot of money, like, well into seven figures.” She didn’t give a specific number because she wasn’t entirely sure how it all worked, but she could hire someone to explain it to her.

Jan’s eyes went wide and her jaw hung open. “A-Are you sure? I mean, thank you, that’s so kind. But if you don’t mind me asking… How’d you come into that kind of money?”

“Inheritance,” she replied, biting back a smirk.

“That’s just… incredible. If there’s anything I can do to thank you…”

Jaida waved her hand, brushing the suggestion off. “You don’t have to do anything. But I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to let me buy you a drink when you’re done for the night.”

Jan fluttered her eyelashes and shifted closer to her. “Of course, I was hoping this might be a little more than a random philanthropic act.”

This brought a feeling of relief to Jaida, the last thing she wanted was for Jan to feel obligated to express romantic or sexual interest in her. “I’ll see you on the other side, then,” she hummed as she got up and returned to the lounge, ready to watch Jan on stage for the rest of her shift. The only time her gaze broke was to text her driver to be on his way.

And once it ended, the two of them reconvened at the bar, with Jaida ordering them both a drink. “So, have you always been a singer?” she asked casually.

“Oh yeah, since I was four.” Jan chuckled. “At the end of the day there was just no other choice for me.”

“I like a girl that knows what she wants out of life,” Jaida mused, taking the glass once it was set down in front of her and sipping from it.

Jan smiled, lips just barely pursed around the rim of the glass. She sipped slowly, then set it down as she looked at her. “Then tell me,” she prompted, “what do you want?” She leaned ever so slightly closer, a sultry air lacing around her words.

Jaida smirked, pointedly looking her over. “Something about five-foot-four, brown eyes, voice of an angel…” she listed, voice trailing off as she spoke. “You know, something along those lines.”

Jan set her glass down once it was empty. “You better be taking that something back to your place then,” she replied simply.

“I intend on it,” she hummed. “You ever been in a Rolls Royce?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen one.”

Jaida grinned, leaving cash down for the bartender before getting up. “Come, Ralph is waiting out back for us.”

Jan tilted her head as she followed. “Ralph?”

“My driver. I inherited the staff as well, but they all liked me better anyway.” She chuckled as they went outside and stepped into the car, exchanging casual greetings with the driver.

While Jan did try to keep her attention on Jaida, she was distracted by how luxurious and pristine the car was, and when they pulled up to Jaida’s house, her eyes went wide. “This is where you live?” she gasped softly.

“Not too shabby, huh?” Jaida hummed as they got out of the car. “A lot of the staff lives here, no point in having a bunch of empty rooms. And my sister’s moving in tomorrow,” she explained, leading her inside.

Jan was trying her best to listen, but taking in everything around her meant her focus was being pulled in six different directions. It reminded her of her first time in Manhattan — everything was big and shiny, but she didn’t think she could touch anything yet. The first thing her hand felt was the railing of the spiral staircase she was following Jaida up.

“And this is my room. It could do with an update, I ain’t gonna lie. But she’s comfy and spacious, can’t really complain.” Jaida hummed. She had been the one that had pushed for such a big bed, and although she was quick to adjust to sleeping in it alone, she was more than happy to bring in new company. She turned to see that Jan had taken off her shoes and thrown herself onto the bed, sprawled out on her back and giggling softly to herself. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

“Sorry, it just looked so inviting. I couldn’t help myself,” Jan replied, sitting back up.

Jaida smiled as she toed out of her heels. “I’m not mad, you look good in my bed.” She hummed, letting her eyes rake over Jan’s body.

“I’d look even better up close,” she cooed, beckoning Jaida closer with a curl of her finger.

“You know, I think you’re right.” Jaida chuckled as she crawled onto the bed, then on top of Jan, straddling her waist as she kissed along her jawline.

Jan tilted her head back, baring her neck as Jaida’s lips traveled down it. A breathy gasp slipped out when Jaida began littering her neck with hickies until she finally moved up to kiss her properly.

Jaida kissed her hard, deeply. It was the first kiss in years that made her feel so alive, that made her keep going back for more because the taste of her lips became instantly addictive. Her fingers tangled in Jan’s hair, pulling her head closer while her free hand unzipped the younger woman’s dress.

Jan wiggled out of her dress, not wanting to have to break away from Jaida to take it off properly. Her hand wandered across Jaida’s back until she felt the metal of the zipper under her thumb, then unzipped the dress in a swift movement.

When they did have to come up for air, Jaida took another look at the girl beneath her. “You always wear lingerie like this under your work clothes?” she teased, her finger tracing along the outline of Jan’s lacy, strapless bra.

“It helps me stay in the zone. You know, the soft, sultry lounge singer.” She hummed, walking her fingers up Jaida’s arm. “And it seems to have worked,” she added, her fingers stopping on Jaida’s bra strap and playfully tugging it down.

“Guess you got me there,” Jaida murmured, pressing another kiss to her lips as she unhooked her bra and tossed it aside. Her hands glided forward, cupping Jan’s breasts with her thumbs massaging her nipples at a teasingly slow pace, smirking when it elicited a soft moan. She trailed her lips back down Jan’s neck, to her collarbone, then between her breasts.

Jan’s back arched up, body already yearning for more touch, and whimpering softly when she felt Jaida’s tongue swirling around her nipple. Her thighs instinctively parted as soon as Jaida pulled her panties down, but she was past the point of feeling any sort of embarrassment - she knew what she wanted and was ready for it.

And who was Jaida to do anything but give right in? After finally undressing herself, she nudged Jan’s thighs apart with her hand, then gently traced her finger along her folds. She eased one finger in first, curling and pumping it slowly, her eyes trained on Jan’s face, watching her get more and more worked up. “That’s it, good girl,” she murmured as she worked in a second finger and built up her pace. She looked down with amusement when she saw how Jan was thrusting her hips forward, as if she was trying to fuck herself on her fingers. “And so eager,” she teased.

“Just love the way you make me feel, Mommy,” Jan purred in a way that sent chills up Jaida’s spine.

Jaida smirked and leaned over to kiss her. “Cute,” she murmured before moving down between Jan’s legs and, before Jan could offer any response, she replaced her fingers with her tongue, thrusting it and swirling it around.

“F-Fuck!” Jan gasped out sharply, hips pushing up again. Her hands gripped the comforter beneath her, knuckles turning white from the tightness of her hold.

And Jaida was only encouraged by that. Her tongue moved steadily and swiftly while her thumb rubbed at her clit. Her free hand kept her balanced by gripping onto Jan’s thigh, which helped keep Jan in place as well.

Jan was trembling and moaning, her body was red hot and she could feel her pulse racing. Her eyes squeezed shut and her hips bucked up despite Jaida’s grip. “A-Ah, fuck!” she nearly yelled as her orgasm hit.

It was only after Jaida was certain Jan was fully spent that she came up for air. “That good, baby?” she cooed, running her hands up and down Jan’s body.

Jan felt like her soul had left her body, feeling completely numb and utterly spent in the best possible way. “So good,” she breathed out. Once she regained the ability to remember how to move, she sat up. “Let me take care of you,” she whispered, and was already pushing Jaida onto the bed before she could get an answer.

Not that Jaida would’ve ever dreamed of objecting. She laid back with her legs propped apart to give her room, and tried her best to watch her, but the second she felt Jan’s tongue against her pussy and easing its way in, her eyes fluttered shut and her body shuddered in pleasure. She supposed it didn’t surprise her that Jan was talented any way she used her mouth, but god, that girl was an overachiever.

And Jan was nothing if not eager to please. She didn’t let up for a second, not until Jaida came as hard as she had, and even after that, she lingered for a moment, just in case. Then she moved back up Jaida’s body and kissed her sweetly.

Jaida hummed contently and wrapped her arms around Jan. “That was so good, baby,” she praised gently, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before shifting so they could be under the covers. “Think you’re about ready to call it a night?”

Jan nodded, letting out a soft yawn. “God, I’m gonna sleep so well tonight,” she murmured as she nestled herself against Jaida.

“I sure hope so,” she retorted lightly as her eyes closed.

------

The housekeeper let Heidi in that morning, and Heidi didn’t think much of it. She knew her sister had never been a morning person, and they never did set a time for her to come over. Considering she didn’t need to bring any furniture, the transition to moving in was easily handled by herself, with some help from the security guard - she could only go up and down that long staircase so many times with arms full of luggage.

Once she was more or less settled in, Heidi went back downstairs to go into the kitchen with the intent of raiding Jaida’s fridge for some breakfast. What she didn’t expect to see was a white girl in one of her sister’s silk robes leaning against the counter and drinking coffee. “Now who in the fresh hell are you?”

Jan was unphased by this. “I’m Jan,” she answered. “You must be Heidi, Jaida’s told me so much about you.”

“Well she ain’t tell me shit about you, so my question remains unanswered,” she said bluntly.

“Right, that makes sense, since we just met last night,” Jan mused. “Anyway, I know you’re just moving in and stuff, I’ll go let Jaida know you’re here.” She finished her coffee and put the empty mug in the sink before going back upstairs, happy to see that Jaida was a little more awake than when she’d left. “Your sister’s here, by the way,” she said as she sat cross-legged on the bed.

Jaida sat upright. “This early? Damn. Well, I better make myself decent and go talk to her,” she said, getting out of bed and throwing on a t-shirt and sweatpants. “I won’t be long, boo.” She kissed her cheek before she made her way downstairs.

“You got some ‘splaining to do,” Heidi said as soon as Jaida came into her line of vision. “Now, who was that pretty little thing wanderin’ around here in next to nothing?”

“Jan’s the new singer at Shea’s lounge. Listen, I know it was fast but… I don’t know how to explain it, there’s something special about her. We had this connection that I just know is more than intimate.”

Heidi stared at her blankly. “Do you hear yourself right now? It hasn’t even been a month since the funeral and you’ve got a co-ed up in your room.”

Jaida sighed. “Look, I’m not planning on flaunting her out and about yet, but I’m not gonna deny myself just because the dirt on his grave is still fresh.” She chewed her lip. “This is the first time I’ve been happy in years, Heidi. I need you to let me have this.”

Her sister was quiet for a moment. “You really think this girl’s gonna make you that happy?”

“I do.”

“Then I won’t stop you.” Heidi gave in without any more resistance. “Just don’t go mixing any of that white powder into her drink, she seems real nice.”

Jaida rolled her eyes, then quickly glanced around to make sure they were alone. “Don’t you worry, arsenic milkshakes are off the menu.”

[artificialqueens]

Like a Million Dollar Bill (Jaida x Jan) - Joley

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note: this is my submission for the black girl magic fic challenge so a note for that is the title is from the song ‘million dollar bill’ by whitney houston

“That finalizes everything, Mrs. Whitham, and again, I am so sorry for your loss.” The man from the probate court shook Jaida’s hand before she got up to leave.

Jaida did her best to maintain the miserable expression she had on through the funeral. She thought about the disdain she felt when the man used her married name, how desperate she was to regain her sense of individual identity. She was free, only if she played her cards right. But this was a long time coming, to say the least. “Thank you so much, sir.” She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief before leaving the room.

Sitting on a bench in the hallway was her younger sister, Heidi. She got up and took her hand. “You good?” she asked gently, coming off as nothing more than the concerned sibling of a grieving widow. But the look in her eyes reminded Jaida that she knew. She knew it all. Someone had to, lest the burden of keeping a secret became overwhelming and came out to the wrong person.

And Jaida continued to play her role, standing upright and swallowing thickly, because she was just struggling to stay strong. “I will be,” she said with a tremor in her voice.

“Who did he appoint as the…” Heidi furrowed her brows as she wracked her brain. “What’s the word again? For the person that’s gonna transfer his funds to you?”

“Executor,” she answered. “And it’s his sister, lord help me.” She sighed. Her deceased husband’s family had never been fond of her - due both to the twenty-year gap that existed in their relationship and outright racism. The only upside to that was no one outside the family took their complaints very seriously, but that didn’t mean she was at all happy to have to deal with her. “Anyway, I’m gonna go to Shea’s lounge tonight. She’s got a new singer, should be cute. You wanna come?”

Her sister shook her head. “Naw, I gotta get my ass up early to finish packing. Gonna take some time to move into that fancy-ass mansion.” She chuckled. It might not have been the best time to be visibly excited, but she was so thrilled to get herself and her dogs out of her one bedroom, seven hundred square-foot apartment.

“Suit yourself.” Jaida shrugged as she pulled her coat on. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

——

The lounge Shea owned was chic, calm, a place Jaida would probably still frequent if it wasn’t her best friend’s pride and joy. It was the type of place where she could dress up to go to, without feeling like she had to be on her best, most reserved behavior. And after all of the day’s events, she just wanted to relax, entering the club and making a beeline to her friend.

“Hey, I’m so glad you made it!” Shea beamed, hugging her tightly. “Just wait until you see our new act. She’s fresh out of university with a fancy musical theatre degree, and the bitch can sing. It’s fucking angelic, Jaida.” She didn’t mention Jaida’s husband’s death at that moment. While she didn’t know exactly what happened, she knew how miserable Jaida had been, how there hadn’t been any love between them in god knows how long. She knew how poorly he treated her and that his death probably wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

Jaida chuckled, walking with her to the bar while Shea ordered them a couple of drinks. “Damn, you really hyped her up, I’m gonna just take your word on it,” she assured, taking a sip of her drink when the bartender placed it beside her.

“Just come on, her set’s about to start,” Shea threw some money down on the counter and pulled Jaida along to one of the velvet couches so they could sit and watch.

Jan walked onto the stage, the spotlight framing her perfectly. She wore a strapless wine-red dress that just hit the ground and was tailored perfectly to her body, accentuating her curves while giving her an air of elegance one would expect from an upscale lounge singer. And her voice was as enchanting as Shea had talked it up to be and then some. There was no doubt that every patron of that lounge had their attention fixed solely on the stage.

“So, what do you think?” Shea asked once the first song had ended.

Jaida grinned, her gaze never breaking away from the singer. “I think I’m in love,” she retorted.

Her friend looked at her and let out a soft laugh. “What, are you following in your husband’s–may he rest in peace–footsteps? She’s twenty-two.”

“Bitch, I’m forty, not eighty. This is a new chapter in my life, who’s to say I can’t include a hot twenty-something in it?” Jaida scoffed.

Shea finished off her drink. “You know what? I respect that. I’ll introduce you two once she’s done,” she decided.

And true to her word, Shea took Jaida backstage once Jan’s set was over. “Wonderful job, darling,” she said as she walked in. “Jan, I’d like you to meet my dear friend, Jaida. We met when we were both in college, so, back when we were about your age.”

Jan looked at Jaida, tilting her head. “Well, how’s that possible when you’re clearly not a day over twenty-five?”

Shea rolled her eyes. “Oh lord, I’ll leave you guys to it,” she said and left the two of them alone.

Jaida chuckled. “Don’t you worry about her,” she said to Jan. “But anyway, you really were fantastic out there. That fancy college degree I keep hearing about did you well.”

Jan smiled, absentmindedly twirling her hair around her finger. “Why thank you. With all the debt it plunged me into, it better.”

The older woman clicked her tongue sympathetically. “Shit, how far in the hole are you?”

“About thirty grand.”

Jaida glanced around, then sat down beside Jan. “Listen, don’t go telling nobody, but I got you. I’m a couple days away from coming into a lot of money, like, well into seven figures.” She didn’t give a specific number because she wasn’t entirely sure how it all worked, but she could hire someone to explain it to her.

Jan’s eyes went wide and her jaw hung open. “A-Are you sure? I mean, thank you, that’s so kind. But if you don’t mind me asking… How’d you come into that kind of money?”

“Inheritance,” she replied, biting back a smirk.

“That’s just… incredible. If there’s anything I can do to thank you…”

Jaida waved her hand, brushing the suggestion off. “You don’t have to do anything. But I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to let me buy you a drink when you’re done for the night.”

Jan fluttered her eyelashes and shifted closer to her. “Of course, I was hoping this might be a little more than a random philanthropic act.”

This brought a feeling of relief to Jaida, the last thing she wanted was for Jan to feel obligated to express romantic or sexual interest in her. “I’ll see you on the other side, then,” she hummed as she got up and returned to the lounge, ready to watch Jan on stage for the rest of her shift. The only time her gaze broke was to text her driver to be on his way.

And once it ended, the two of them reconvened at the bar, with Jaida ordering them both a drink. “So, have you always been a singer?” she asked casually.

“Oh yeah, since I was four.” Jan chuckled. “At the end of the day there was just no other choice for me.”

“I like a girl that knows what she wants out of life,” Jaida mused, taking the glass once it was set down in front of her and sipping from it.

Jan smiled, lips just barely pursed around the rim of the glass. She sipped slowly, then set it down as she looked at her. “Then tell me,” she prompted, “what do you want?” She leaned ever so slightly closer, a sultry air lacing around her words.

Jaida smirked, pointedly looking her over. “Something about five-foot-four, brown eyes, voice of an angel…” she listed, voice trailing off as she spoke. “You know, something along those lines.”

Jan set her glass down once it was empty. “You better be taking that something back to your place then,” she replied simply.

“I intend on it,” she hummed. “You ever been in a Rolls Royce?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen one.”

Jaida grinned, leaving cash down for the bartender before getting up. “Come, Ralph is waiting out back for us.”

Jan tilted her head as she followed. “Ralph?”

“My driver. I inherited the staff as well, but they all liked me better anyway.” She chuckled as they went outside and stepped into the car, exchanging casual greetings with the driver.

While Jan did try to keep her attention on Jaida, she was distracted by how luxurious and pristine the car was, and when they pulled up to Jaida’s house, her eyes went wide. “This is where you live?” she gasped softly.

“Not too shabby, huh?” Jaida hummed as they got out of the car. “A lot of the staff lives here, no point in having a bunch of empty rooms. And my sister’s moving in tomorrow,” she explained, leading her inside.

Jan was trying her best to listen, but taking in everything around her meant her focus was being pulled in six different directions. It reminded her of her first time in Manhattan — everything was big and shiny, but she didn’t think she could touch anything yet. The first thing her hand felt was the railing of the spiral staircase she was following Jaida up.

“And this is my room. It could do with an update, I ain’t gonna lie. But she’s comfy and spacious, can’t really complain.” Jaida hummed. She had been the one that had pushed for such a big bed, and although she was quick to adjust to sleeping in it alone, she was more than happy to bring in new company. She turned to see that Jan had taken off her shoes and thrown herself onto the bed, sprawled out on her back and giggling softly to herself. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

“Sorry, it just looked so inviting. I couldn’t help myself,” Jan replied, sitting back up.

Jaida smiled as she toed out of her heels. “I’m not mad, you look good in my bed.” She hummed, letting her eyes rake over Jan’s body.

“I’d look even better up close,” she cooed, beckoning Jaida closer with a curl of her finger.

“You know, I think you’re right.” Jaida chuckled as she crawled onto the bed, then on top of Jan, straddling her waist as she kissed along her jawline.

Jan tilted her head back, baring her neck as Jaida’s lips traveled down it. A breathy gasp slipped out when Jaida began littering her neck with hickies until she finally moved up to kiss her properly.

Jaida kissed her hard, deeply. It was the first kiss in years that made her feel so alive, that made her keep going back for more because the taste of her lips became instantly addictive. Her fingers tangled in Jan’s hair, pulling her head closer while her free hand unzipped the younger woman’s dress.

Jan wiggled out of her dress, not wanting to have to break away from Jaida to take it off properly. Her hand wandered across Jaida’s back until she felt the metal of the zipper under her thumb, then unzipped the dress in a swift movement.

When they did have to come up for air, Jaida took another look at the girl beneath her. “You always wear lingerie like this under your work clothes?” she teased, her finger tracing along the outline of Jan’s lacy, strapless bra.

“It helps me stay in the zone. You know, the soft, sultry lounge singer.” She hummed, walking her fingers up Jaida’s arm. “And it seems to have worked,” she added, her fingers stopping on Jaida’s bra strap and playfully tugging it down.

“Guess you got me there,” Jaida murmured, pressing another kiss to her lips as she unhooked her bra and tossed it aside. Her hands glided forward, cupping Jan’s breasts with her thumbs massaging her nipples at a teasingly slow pace, smirking when it elicited a soft moan. She trailed her lips back down Jan’s neck, to her collarbone, then between her breasts.

Jan’s back arched up, body already yearning for more touch, and whimpering softly when she felt Jaida’s tongue swirling around her nipple. Her thighs instinctively parted as soon as Jaida pulled her panties down, but she was past the point of feeling any sort of embarrassment - she knew what she wanted and was ready for it.

And who was Jaida to do anything but give right in? After finally undressing herself, she nudged Jan’s thighs apart with her hand, then gently traced her finger along her folds. She eased one finger in first, curling and pumping it slowly, her eyes trained on Jan’s face, watching her get more and more worked up. “That’s it, good girl,” she murmured as she worked in a second finger and built up her pace. She looked down with amusement when she saw how Jan was thrusting her hips forward, as if she was trying to fuck herself on her fingers. “And so eager,” she teased.

“Just love the way you make me feel, Mommy,” Jan purred in a way that sent chills up Jaida’s spine.

Jaida smirked and leaned over to kiss her. “Cute,” she murmured before moving down between Jan’s legs and, before Jan could offer any response, she replaced her fingers with her tongue, thrusting it and swirling it around.

“F-Fuck!” Jan gasped out sharply, hips pushing up again. Her hands gripped the comforter beneath her, knuckles turning white from the tightness of her hold.

And Jaida was only encouraged by that. Her tongue moved steadily and swiftly while her thumb rubbed at her clit. Her free hand kept her balanced by gripping onto Jan’s thigh, which helped keep Jan in place as well.

Jan was trembling and moaning, her body was red hot and she could feel her pulse racing. Her eyes squeezed shut and her hips bucked up despite Jaida’s grip. “A-Ah, fuck!” she nearly yelled as her orgasm hit.

It was only after Jaida was certain Jan was fully spent that she came up for air. “That good, baby?” she cooed, running her hands up and down Jan’s body.

Jan felt like her soul had left her body, feeling completely numb and utterly spent in the best possible way. “So good,” she breathed out. Once she regained the ability to remember how to move, she sat up. “Let me take care of you,” she whispered, and was already pushing Jaida onto the bed before she could get an answer.

Not that Jaida would’ve ever dreamed of objecting. She laid back with her legs propped apart to give her room, and tried her best to watch her, but the second she felt Jan’s tongue against her pussy and easing its way in, her eyes fluttered shut and her body shuddered in pleasure. She supposed it didn’t surprise her that Jan was talented any way she used her mouth, but god, that girl was an overachiever.

And Jan was nothing if not eager to please. She didn’t let up for a second, not until Jaida came as hard as she had, and even after that, she lingered for a moment, just in case. Then she moved back up Jaida’s body and kissed her sweetly.

Jaida hummed contently and wrapped her arms around Jan. “That was so good, baby,” she praised gently, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before shifting so they could be under the covers. “Think you’re about ready to call it a night?”

Jan nodded, letting out a soft yawn. “God, I’m gonna sleep so well tonight,” she murmured as she nestled herself against Jaida.

“I sure hope so,” she retorted lightly as her eyes closed.

——

The housekeeper let Heidi in that morning, and Heidi didn’t think much of it. She knew her sister had never been a morning person, and they never did set a time for her to come over. Considering she didn’t need to bring any furniture, the transition to moving in was easily handled by herself, with some help from the security guard - she could only go up and down that long staircase so many times with arms full of luggage.

Once she was more or less settled in, Heidi went back downstairs to go into the kitchen with the intent of raiding Jaida’s fridge for some breakfast. What she didn’t expect to see was a white girl in one of her sister’s silk robes leaning against the counter and drinking coffee. “Now who in the fresh hell are you?”

Jan was unphased by this. “I’m Jan,” she answered. “You must be Heidi, Jaida’s told me so much about you.”

“Well she ain’t tell me shit about you, so my question remains unanswered,” she said bluntly.

“Right, that makes sense, since we just met last night,” Jan mused. “Anyway, I know you’re just moving in and stuff, I’ll go let Jaida know you’re here.” She finished her coffee and put the empty mug in the sink before going back upstairs, happy to see that Jaida was a little more awake than when she’d left. “Your sister’s here, by the way,” she said as she sat cross-legged on the bed.

Jaida sat upright. “This early? Damn. Well, I better make myself decent and go talk to her,” she said, getting out of bed and throwing on a t-shirt and sweatpants. “I won’t be long, boo.” She kissed her cheek before she made her way downstairs.

“You got some ‘splaining to do,” Heidi said as soon as Jaida came into her line of vision. “Now, who was that pretty little thing wanderin’ around here in next to nothing?”

“Jan’s the new singer at Shea’s lounge. Listen, I know it was fast but… I don’t know how to explain it, there’s something special about her. We had this connection that I just know is more than intimate.”

Heidi stared at her blankly. “Do you hear yourself right now? It hasn’t even been a month since the funeral and you’ve got a co-ed up in your room.”

Jaida sighed. “Look, I’m not planning on flaunting her out and about yet, but I’m not gonna deny myself just because the dirt on his grave is still fresh.” She chewed her lip. “This is the first time I’ve been happy in years, Heidi. I need you to let me have this.”

Her sister was quiet for a moment. “You really think this girl’s gonna make you that happy?”

“I do.”

“Then I won’t stop you.” Heidi gave in without any more resistance. “Just don’t go mixing any of that white powder into her drink, she seems real nice.”

Jaida rolled her eyes, then quickly glanced around to make sure they were alone. “Don’t you worry, arsenic milkshakes are off the menu.”

[samuelkwinchester]

14.11 - Sister!Winchester

Warnings: Language, Gore (kind of?), Mentions of rape, Unwanted touching (isn’t super detailed and doesn’t get very far, but please avoid if easily triggered).

Summary: Hope Winchester is Sam and Dean’s little sister from a different mom. This takes place during the events of season 14 episode 11, “Damaged Goods,” when Dean visits his mother and Nick is searching for her so that he can get revenge. Unfortunately, Hope gets caught in the crossfire between Nick and his obsession to find who killed his family

(I know that the picture is not from the episode, but bear with me. Also, it is not mine)

Enjoy :)

“Sam, I’m worried about Dean…” I whispered into the phone.

“What’s wrong, Hope?” Sammy asked, his breath hitching in his throat.

“Dean is getting real close with Mar- mom. Plus he’s been in the shed for almost an hour now. There’s a lot of noise going on. I think it’s a blowtorch and maybe some sort of power saw? I don’t know. Either way, he had a lot of books with him. And that’s really not like him. You know that, Sam. He’s just not himself. I mean, I know with Michael being stuck in his head and all, but really thi-”

“Hope. Breathe.” Sam commanded through the phone. “It’s gonna be okay. I’ll be over in maybe four hours, give or take. Stay there, stay alert, and stay safe. You have your phone, so call me if you need me. I’ll be there soon, okay?”

“O-okay.” I said shallowly. The phone went dead.

I got up from my curled up position on my bed. The sun had gone down, and the room was no longer visible. I shivered, remembering what dad had said about the dark. My feet touched the cold, bedroom floor. I carefully guided myself toward the lightswitch, finding the panel, and switching it on. 

The floor was pristine, obviously hadn’t been walked on in at least a few months. I looked in the mirror next to the doorway. There I stood, dressed in a simple pair of light denim ripped jeans (which Sam and Dean gave me a lot of crap for), a black short-sleeved undershirt, and a red and black flannel. My socks were black, warm, and fuzzy. Dean got them for me around Halloween, when the weather started to get cold. 

I quickly looked away from the mirror, and walked into the hallway, down the wood stairs. I walked into the kitchen, smelling something greasy and… familiar?

“Hope!” Dean smiled at me from the kitchen. “You hungry? Mom and I were making and old favorite- Winchester Surprise!”

I forced a smile on my face. “Of course! Let me go wash up real quick and I’ll join you guys.” Excusing myself to the restroom, I locked the door and leaned against it, doing the one thing I haven’t done in over a year.

“Castiel? If you are hearing this, I need you to stay where you are. I just wanted to tell you that I’m with Dean and Mary. Dean doesn’t seem to be doing well. He’s not like himself. I just wanted to tell you so that you could keep Jack posted. He deserves to know as much as I do, especially with everything going on right now. I’ll keep you up to date.”

//

“Jeez, Dean. I can’t believe you remember how I used to feed you and John this dish. It’s so… greasy.” Mary smiled, reliving old memories that I obviously wasn’t apart of.

“How could I forget? I love this stuff.” Dean smiled, stuffing his face with this interesting concoction. Meanwhile, I just picked at my food.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Mar- mom asked.

“I’m just… Not feeling well. I think I might take a walk. Some fresh air might help.” I said, slowly getting up from the dinner table. Before I could get far, Dean grabbed my hand.

“Don’t forget your gun. I’m not letting you step out of my sight without it, okay? Especially out there.” Dean’s eyes glazed over, and I knew that something was eating him up.

“O-okay. Love you, D.” I said before grabbing my gun from the buffet table. Putting the gun in my waistband, I slipped my boots on and walked out the door.

The woods were somewhat of a sanctuary- especially where I’m from. I was raised in Seattle before Sam and Dean found me. Dad was on a case there and met my mom. I was conceived the night they met. Then Dad up and left, but came around for the few birthdays I had (before he died) and the occasional Christmas or Halloween (again, very few). I wasn’t completely special to him, but I was his child. And there was still love given to me from him.

He’d tell me about my brothers before I had even met them. He said that Sammy was a genius going to college so that he could do something with his life besides ‘the family business’- which was what he would call it back then. Dean was described as the legacy of the family, the one who would continue the business.

I hadn’t met them before John died.

Sam and Dean had barged into my house the night my mom died. I was five years old when the demon was killed. That’s when I started touring with the Winchester duo, and I contributed as the final part to the trio. I went through it all with them but stayed with Bobby a lot. When Mary came into the picture, I didn’t know how to react. She wasn’t my mom, but I was Sam and Dean's sister. She accepted me as her own early on, and I love her for it, but I’m still adjusting.

As I walked away from the cabin, I noticed headlights in the distance. I had a bad feeling about it, but I walked away. I knew I would regret it, but I didn’t just how much. 

Continuing into the woods, I thought about Dean. What was he doing in the barn? Building something maybe? Or was he just releasing some pent up feelings? Either way, something was up, and I knew there was something he was keeping from me. I know he was possessed by apocalypse Michael, but he knows that at one point I was possessed by Michael from this world. I may not have been possessed for long, but it was still hell. I can remember that much. Especially because Michael only talked about wanting to use my brothers so that he could kill his own. He messed with my head too, and Dean doesn’t realize it. I want him to know I’m here. I need him to know I’m here. He shouldn’t go through this alone. He didn’t let me go through it alone.

I heard sirens coming from the dirt road, which made me feel a little safer but also a little more on edge. I didn’t think there was anything obviously wrong, so it was a shock to know the van was being looked for.

 I quickly returned to the road, the cabin nowhere in sight, and turned to see Donna and… Nick? They were fighting, and for a moment it looked like Donna had the upper hand. Then Nick pulled the taser out from nowhere and tazed Donna. I froze, not knowing what to do. I could yell, but that would bring attention to myself. I watched as Nick effortlessly lifted Donna, and put her in the cop car. As he finished up, he turned around and locked eyes on my distant figure.

My blood ran cold- and not because it was near 40 degrees.

I had heard about a killer roaming around the Pike Creek area in Delaware, but I didn’t put two and two together. I should have known- I should have said something.

Nick started to walk towards me, and my body kicked into fight or flight mode.

I started with a jogging pace, getting away from Nick. I started to sprint as I heard a clicking noise. While trying to run in a zig-zag pattern I heard a ‘boom’ and then pain spread throughout my hip. I cried out, the pain was sudden and unforgiving. As I fell, I could feel the blood staining my clothes and my waist. My left hand moved to the wound so I could attempt to stop some bleeding. Everything was in slow motion. I hit the ground with a hard ‘thud’, my head spinning. The pain was almost unbearable, but I’ve had worse. I heard running footsteps and I knew he was coming for me. I took my hand off of the wound and pushed myself back up. I suppressed a groan as I put pressure on my leg, which traveled to my hip. I started to run towards the cabin, praying that I could make it before I either bled out or Nick caught me. 

I could see lights, indicating I was close to Dean. Maybe not as close as I’d like, but it was something. Hope filled my veins and pushed me forward. I was so close to being home, so close to having the upper hand in this fight, so close to telling Dean that it was going to be okay. That I was going to be there for him.

Until I wasn’t close anymore.

Hands traveled to my hips, grabbing hard and intentionally pressing against my damaged hip. I choked out a quiet sob. I was caught, and I couldn’t see the light in this situation anymore. I wasn’t just scared- I was terrified. Nowhere left to go.

Game over.

“Where do you think you’re going, princess?” Nick sneered into my ear, obviously rubbing his victory into my face.

“Fuck. You.” I growled. I began to get defensive. I knew that he didn’t need me for anything, but he didn’t want his cover blown either. The worst outcome was that I’d be killed right now, leaving Dean with Michael and without Mary. I’m praying that he doesn’t go down that road.

“Feisty, huh? We can fix that real quick,” Nick pushed harder onto the bullet hole decorating my hip. I hissed at him. “Okay. That didn’t work… I could try something else. Something I remembered from when I was shacked up with Lucifer…”

Okay, I was wrong. Being killed wasn’t the worst scenario.

Nick ran his other hand, the one not putting pressure on my hip, down to my thing and squeezed just slightly. He started to move up, and he pressed up against me. He stopped right before he reached a place I definitely didn’t want him to touch.

“We have two options, Little Winchester. Either you give up, or I bring up some repressed memories. Some that haven’t seen the light of day since they were scarred into your pretty little head. But hey, it’s your choice.” Nick taunted.

My mind was racing a million miles per second. I felt dizzy and nauseous. I actually thought about throwing up on his shoes, but I don’t think I could aim for them. But in all seriousness, my mind was at war with itself. I didn’t want to just give up and be submissive, but I couldn’t risk being killed, or worse.

“Alright. I’ll behave. But you have to promise me something.” I said with the strongest voice I could come up with.

“And… What would that be, Hope?” Nick grinned against my ear.

“Keep Dean and Mary alive. They don’t need to be killed.” I was practically begging and he knew it.

“Okay. We have a deal.” He smiled as he took his hand off my thigh. 

I let out a sigh of relief, before suddenly being spun around and lifted over his shoulder. He turned and walked towards the van. The back door of the van was opened and I was shoved inside. I held in a cry as I somehow landed on my hip (just my luck). Next thing I knew the van doors were slammed shut, and my vision was fading fast. My last thoughts were dedicated to my brothers, praying that they’d find me or move on if they didn’t, before I blacked out entirely.

//

*2nd POV*

“-Dean, he’s going after your mom,” Donna sighed into the phone.

“He who?” Dean asked, feeling very confused yet on guard.

“Uh, some guy named Nick.” Donna finally spit out, and Dean acted immediately.

Dean ran outside after hanging up with Donna, gun in hand. He was going to find that bastard before he found Mary. He walked out of the bushes and onto the dirt road, taking a faster pace. Sticks were broken behind him, and in less than a second his gun was cocked and pointed to whoever was behind him.

“Dean! Woah, easy!” Sam yelled, clearly not wanting to get shot by his brother. “Dean, what’s going on here?”

“It’s Mom,��� he rasped. “She’s gone.”

//

Mary awoke in the van, her head pounding. Her head was resting on something… soft? She slowly opened her eyes to see the ceiling of the van. She pushed herself up and turned to see Hope laying on the floor, bleeding at a steady pace.

“Oh god!” Mary yelled. “Help!”

She scanned the back for anything that could stop the bleeding. She found an old cloth and some alcohol. Perfect. After she shredded the cloth, she poured alcohol onto it and tied it tight around Hope's waist, making sure that it was covering and putting pressure on the wound. Hope shot up, eyes wide open, and fear evident in her eyes.

//

*1st POV*

I shot up, my eyes wide open, and my heart beating out of my chest. I took in a shaky breath and saw Mary leaning over me.

“Oh, thank god.” She said, tears rolling down her face.

“Hey, Mary.” I croaked out. Smiling, she helped me sit up against her.

The back door swung open, and Nick was standing there with a smirk on his face. I’m not entirely sure why he needed Mary, but I could tell that whatever the reason, it wasn’t good.

“Morning, Ladies!” Nick sang, before hopping into the back with us. Mary pushed me to the far corner, trying to get me as far away from Nick as possible. “Oh, come on, Mary! I wasn’t going to do anything… yet…” He smiled viciously.

“Alright, what do you want?” Mary asked, clearly not happy with the situation she was in.

“You know… The demons, they know where you are,” Nick said, taking a seat across from me. “They keep track of you, you and your kids. They’re sort of scared of you. So wherever you are, they’re not. So that’s how I got to Hibbing. I didn’t have an address. Luckily, that- that perky little sheriff lady- what’s her name? Deborah? Debbie? Something? Whatever. She had some emails on her cellphone talking about you and her family cabin, so here I am.” Mary just glared at him while he rambled.

“I know that’s a lot to take in, but… And if you feel like screaming, you can- you can go ahead cause we’re pretty remote…”

“Nick,” Mary started. “What are you doing?”

Nick got up suddenly and moved right next to me as I flinched. Mary looked slightly afraid, but kept it in knowing that I was watching.

“Tonya Baker,” Nick began. “Yeah, you knew her. You saved her life. Her whole girl scout troop was murdered and she was the only survivor, thanks to you. These two demons were about to finish her off, and then you came in and chased one away but you faced off against the other one, a demon named Abraxas.”

“I remember. So?” Mary snapped.

“So? Abraxas murdered my family the same way he killed those girls- bloody, brutal, slow.” Mary's face fell at his confession, and even I felt bad.

“I’m sorry, Nick,” Mary started. “But you could have just asked me. This, shooting Hope, this is cr-”

“Crazy?” Nick asked, finishing her sentence. “What would you have told me?”

“That I killed him!” Mary raised her voice. “Abraxas is dead.”

“So you would have lied to me?” My eyes widened at his statement. “You didn’t kill him, you trapped him in a box. How’d you do it?”

Mary stuttered. Nick grabbed her coat and shook her. “Tell. Me.”

“Okay, okay. We put him in an Enochian box. He’s contained.”

“Do you have him?” Nick asked, clearly done with beating around the bush.

“No… but I can take you to him.”

//

Dean and Sam were pacing, waiting for a response from Donna’s radio. Dean was beyond worried. When Sam and him got back, Dean immediately went upstairs to look for Hope. He was praying that she got back while he was sleeping, but when he opened the door to her room, she wasn’t there, and he lost it. Sam was stunned for a minute but began to worry more and more.

Eventually Donna got a trace, and they sped off to Grand Rapids.

//

We pulled up to a storage unit that, Mary said, had the box containing Abraxas. Nick pulled Mary out of the van, then me. He pulled me along as I struggled to keep up. Mary unlocked the door, and he pushed her inside first before pulling me in.

“Alright, where is it?” Nick asked. Mary remained silent. “Listen, if you tell me where it is, you and little Winchester get to walk away.”

Mary sighed, obviously struggling with her decisions.

“It’s over there.”

Nick looked around while Mary stood still.

“Where is it?” Nick asked, clearly getting angrier by the minute.

“In the lockers…” Mary said. “Too bad I don’t have the key.”

I smiled a little at how dumb she was playing. I liked her style. Nick shrugged, grabbed a machete, and chopped off the lock, moving into the room with the lockers.

“Which one?” Nick asked. Mary just shrugged, not giving him a clear answer.

Nick grunted and shoved me towards Mary. He started to chop off locks again while Mary helped me keep steady.

“Just sit here, hun. Against the lockers.” I nodded and slid down the lockers onto the floor. I was losing steam, and I didn’t know when Dean or Donna would find us. I was rooting for sooner, rather than later.

“Open the box.” Nick said as I looked up.

“Sorry, but you need a host. It can’t be you, it can’t be me,” She lifted her shirt to show her tattoo. “And, it can’t be Hope.” She lifted up my shirt so he could see the tattoo on my side.

“Well, then I’ll improvise.” Nick said, before leaving.

//

Nick walked in with the security guard from the post out front. He sat him down and pulled the bag off of his head.

“Nick don’t do this-”

“How do I open this thing?” Nick cut her off.

“I don’t know.” Mary sighed.

Nick turned around while trying to figure out the box, which gave Mary a chance to walk up behind him and kick his knees out from under him. She attempted to grab the dropped box, but Nick got back up and kicked her over while she was laying on the ground. I tried to get up and help, but everything was still spinning, and I couldn’t see who was who at this point. I was useless. So I prayed that it wasn’t too late to save us all.

“I said I could handle it!” Nick yelled as he pushed her up against the fence. Nick continued to mess with the box, but then threw it onto the ground. Nick, frustrated as ever, picked up the drill and drilled into the box. Black smoke came from the black cube and flew right into the security guards' mouth.

“Heya, Blondie.” Abraxis cooed at Mary, then looked my way. “Who’s your cute friend?”

“Why’d you kill my family?” Nick demanded.

“Have to be more specific.” Abraxis smirked, clearly messing around.

“Pike Creek, Delaware.” Nick stated, getting emotional.

“Oh. Nick. Why are you walking and talking? I thought the big man had you on lockdown.”

“He’s dead. Now, why did you kill my family?” Nick raised his voice.

“Kill her first, then we’ll talk.” Abraxas looked towards me. “Mary here locked me in a box and I hold a grudge. But I want her to suffer instead. Kill the girl nice and slow, then maybe we’ll talk.”

Nick looked at me.

“Nick,” Mary started with a grin on her face. But Nick looked serious about going through with it. And I was terrified. “Nick! Don’t do it!”

Nick walked toward me slowly, and suddenly my adrenaline kicked in. I needed to get up and run. I tried pushing myself up, but Nick picked up his pace and pounced on me. He straddled my waist as he bound my arms together.

“You ready to die, little Winchester?” Nick sneered as he prepared his knife. He lifted up the knife, and was about to drive it into my stomach, but a gunshot cut him off.

“GET AWAY FROM HER!” Sam yelled, holding Nick at gunpoint.

Nick cowered away from me, and Dean came rushing over to me. His eyes filled with rage as he released my arms and saw my bloody hip. Sam was helping Mary out of her handcuffs while I tried to stand up against the lockers.

“Hey, De.” I said weakly.

“Hey sweetheart.” Dean smiled slightly, struggling to watch me keep myself up.

“Is she okay?” Sam asked, his voice wavering.

“Not sure, Sammy.” Dean sighed. Sam rushed over and gave me a bear hug. I hissed when he held me tight against him.

“What’s wr-” Sam saw my bloody hip, and his face fell. “No, Hope…”

“I-It’s okay, Sammy. I’ll make it.” I chuckled lightly. Sam gave me a kiss on the forehead before pointing his gun at Nick again.

“What are you doing?” Sam questioned.

“What I have to.” Nick said, before grabbing a knife and scraping off a piece of the devil's trap.

“NO-” We all yelled, before being lifted into the air and slammed onto the floor. I groaned out in pain as the cloth fell off of my hip. More blood started to pour onto the floor.

“You wanna know why I killed your family? I was following orders-” Abraxas started.

“From who?” Nick pressed, not giving up.

“Who do you think? Lucifer.” Abraxas smirked.

“I-I don’t understand.” Nick stuttered. “Why me?!”

“You were chosen, but you’re not special. We threw a dart at a phone book and-”

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica-”

“Stop,” Abraxas said as he forced Dean into one of the storage shelves.

“Dean!” I coughed, looking back to make sure he was okay. He groaned and tried to push himself back up.

“So. Who dies first?” Abraxis asked, before Nick pulled his head back, forced him onto his knees, and stabbed him in the chest.

Nick got up and started swiping at anyone who would come near him. 

“Take it easy!” Sam yelled, before Donna shot him in the leg and M- mom knocked him out.

“Payback, bitch.” I choked out a quiet laugh while trying to fight the darkness from taking over.

“Hope!” Sam and Dean yelled, rushing over to me.

“You gotta stay with us, sissy. Okay?” Dean asked, trying to keep me awake.

“N-no pr-omises…” I smirked.

“Even with a bullet in your hip and at least a quarter of your blood on the floor, you’re still a pain in our asses.” Dean chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

“I try, De.” I smiled, before slipping into the darkness.

//

I woke up to Dean by my side. I tried to sit up, but my hip was burning.

“Woah. That’s some kick.” I joked, pushing myself up to the headboard. The pain wasn’t nearly as bad, but it still hurt.

“Take it easy, kiddo.” Dean ordered, clearly not messing around. “How are you feeling?”

“Like hell, but I’ll be okay.” I tried to smile, but I just couldn’t. The fight was finally over, and somehow we won. The tears came right after, but I let them fall.

“Hey, it’s okay, sweetheart. It’s over now, I promise.” Dean climbed into the bed with me and held my head against his chest.

“H-he did so much more, De… So much more than just this.” I sobbed.

Sam quietly entered the room while Dean and I sat in silence. He sat down on my other side and kissed my head, letting me know that he was here too.

“W-when he shot me, he… He said he remembered something about me from when Lucifer was possessing him…” I stuttered, more tears flowing but I didn’t care.

“What’d he say, kiddo?” Dean asked, clearly defensive.

“H-he said that he’d use something against me if I didn’t stop fighting him… He moved his other hand to my thigh a-and…” I sucked in a breath, trying to stay calm even though everything in me wanted to scream and thrash. “He made me think he was going to touch me… He knew what had happened to m-me bef-fore… I thought he was going to r-rape me-” I sobbed, wanting to crawl out of my own skin.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Dean growled lowly, getting out of the bed and pacing the floor. “How did he know? Lucifer wasn’t even apart of that… That was another assholes fault…” Deans held his head in his hands.

Sammy comforted me as I continued to sob. My face was buried in his chest, but I didn’t care. Dean sat back down and held me.

“We’re gonna fix this, okay? We’ll get through it together. You’ll always have us. Always.” Sam choked out, trying not to lose it because he wanted to be strong for me.

“We got you, Hope. We love you.”

[ptrparkcrs]

& you say rise above (self-para)

summary: peter meets an old friend in an unexpected place and faces dire consequences word count: 3002 trigger warnings: violence, injury, death mention, spider-man cops (completely useless, but existent)

It was ten seventeen PM. He had been at work late, probably too late, troubleshooting something small and nitpicky that even he barely understood. At least there was always food somewhere in the building, and FRIDAY liked him enough to not yell at him when he stole a second donut, or a third, or when he ordered an extra-large pizza on Tony Stark’s credit card. As long as he didn’t leave his workspace too greasy and saved some leftovers for Tony, he’d probably be fine.

Whatever it was he had been supposed to be working on, clean energy or artificial intelligence or consumer goods or fancy sunglasses, it probably wasn’t supposed to have been reconstructing the lenses of Spider-Man’s mask to better conform to his facial expressions, but Peter had had to do some repairs after Gabby had torn the thing to shreds. If Tony caught him sewing on the clock, what was he going to do? Let Spider-Man go without a mask? Put Peter’s life at risk? No, he’d be fine. He’d been too antsy to focus on real work, his ribs still healing, his face still a little tender. He’d needed a concrete physical distraction and the satisfaction of knowing he was fixing something.

(He’d be totally fine in a day or two; he was almost there, but Gabby had done a pretty solid number on him. Broken ribs, a black eye, scabs where the pavement had rubbed his chin raw, the whole shebang. He told everyone it was a bike accident, even though he didn’t own a bike, because nearly beaten to death by a chemically ramped-up teenager wasn’t something that could realistically have happened to completely normal, non-superhero guy Peter Parker. In retrospect, he should have said he’d crashed his skateboard into a taxi again, which he had done more than once in high school, but hindsight was 20/20.) 

Still, the time spent on the mask during the day had meant a pile of unfinished work, which had meant staying at the tower later. Peter knew that, as best as he’d tried not to be, he was a nepotism hire. He’d waltzed into Stark industries with little training and few qualifications, and he was determined to prove that he was just as suited to be here as anyone else. Yeah, he’d had the internship, but he’d gotten that through sheer dumb luck and minor internet fame, and he and Tony both knew it had been a cover, anyway. Yeah, he had a college degree, but most of his actual work experience had been mediocre photography for a vaguely predatory, second-rate newspaper. He’d been a child prodigy, sure, but last he’d checked most child prodigies peaked sometime around high school, and building the Spider-Man suit for personal gain wasn’t about to go on his resume. He knew any interview process he’d gone through had been performative; he knew that the job had been his no matter what, so long as he hadn’t actually blown up the company. He didn’t want Tony to regret his decision, and he really did want to keep his job. That meant actually doing his work, even if he did have to stay long past dark.

So he’d finally finished—the work and the mask—and headed home to find Sandwich demanding a second dinner and a walk. Fine. Okay. He could do that.

“All you’ve got going for you is your body, bud,” he said. “Don’t know why you’re so determined to ruin that.” Sandwich was beautiful, in a scraggly rescue dog kind of way (Aunt May said he looked like the dog from Annie, which was probably a compliment), but he was also dumb as a rock. He put a few treats in the bowl anyway and went to find a leash.

As he dug through the storage cube where he was sure he’d left the good collar, Peter heard sirens. They sounded close, maybe a few blocks away, and getting closer. His police scanner was on his nightstand, but there wasn’t time to check. Sirens were as good a cue as any.

“I’ll be back soon,” he told Sandwich, as he grabbed his suit from the pile on the floor, pulled it on, and headed towards the window. “We’ll walk later. Promise. Please don’t eat the couch again while I’m gone.”

The dog grunted and went back to eating.

&&&

Web swinging was hard today. His body groaned with every movement, resisting the stress of his acrobatics. Still healing. He hadn’t realized she’d gotten him quite that badly; he’d been up against way worse than a single teenage girl, but he hadn’t had anyone try so determinedly to kill him from such close range in a long time--not since Norman, or maybe Harry, but that had felt a little more reluctant. Fine, he’d go easy on the somersaults.

So long as whatever was up there wasn’t a troupe of murderous acrobats, he’d probably be okay. At least the new mask was holding up well.

What was up ahead, three or five or seven or twenty-six blocks from his apartment, he’d lost count, was—lights. Sirens. Yelling. A strange, echoing thump-thump. Shit. He dropped himself onto a rooftop to survey the scene, his ribs only groaning a little bit as he landed in a crouch. A bank, long closed for the night, its windows smashed. A row of police cars, like a barricade. Coming in from the north, fire trucks, an ambulance. A small throng of bystanders, their phones out, edging around the scene. A trail of broken asphalt running away in the opposite direction.

And in the middle of it all, a figure.

A man, maybe. In a long jacket, something more than the night obscuring his face. He—if it was a he—didn’t seem very big, but he hovered several feet above the ground, supported by what appeared to be a pair of giant robotic arms. Another pair spread wide into the night air, lashing at anyone who tried to approach.

Peter was pretty sure he’d seen those arms before, or something very like them. Mostly in sketches, then once or twice in a lab in college, never in use, just propped up safely against the back wall. They help my dexterity, Peter. More precise.

But that had been in a secure research lab up at Columbia, where the arms had helped a man’s clumsy hands study nuclear physics at an atomic scale, not ravage a bank on the Lower East Side. Stolen tech, maybe? A copycat? Convergent evolution, two people independently building the same machine at the same time? But what were the odds of that, really? These were robotic arms, not clean energy or self-driving cars. It was too niche. Who was this man, and what could he want?

He swung down, closer, landing on the hood of a police car. The officer standing next to it looked down at Peter and sighed.

“Hey, Spider-Man,” he said. “You can go home. We’ve got this.”

Peter tethered himself to a lamppost closer to the bank and leapt off the hood, angry at his stupid fragile body keeping him from somersaulting away for maximum dramatic effect. “That’s what you always say, Bill.”

“It’s David.”

“I really don’t care.”

He landed on the lamppost, but just barely. The many-armed man had seen him coming and was getting closer, one of his robotic limbs swiping at Peter’s perch. Peter leaped off before the pole could crash down and rolled to the ground, where he finally got a good look at his assailant.

He hadn’t imagined it. He knew those arms.

“Doctor Oc—"

Doctor Octavius. His thesis advisor. A kind, absentminded, academic type, the brand who left their office littered with sticky notes to remember to buy milk, who replied to emails four days late at two in the morning. He’d called Peter a genius kid, said he’d had what it takes to save the world. Because that’s what scientists do, Peter. We change things. We fix them. We make them better. We help the people who can’t help themselves—you get that, don’t you?

Oh, he got it.

Doc was wearing glasses, and his jovial smile had twisted into a sneer, but it was unmistakably him. He lowered himself to the ground, all four metal arms swirling around him.“Oh, great,” he said. “It’s the bug boy. What, couldn’t send any of the real superheroes to stop me? Daddy too busy arresting innocent people?”

With all due respect, Peter thought, what the fuck? Sure, he wasn’t an Enforcer, but his old professor going on a crime spree with a set of weaponized robot arms, probably having some sort of episode, called for enforcement.

He lifted himself off the ground slowly. His body was already screaming for a break, and they were barely getting started. “Look, dude, I respect the whole eight-legs thing, but you don’t gotta be so literal about it. It’s kinda—what’s the word? Tacky.”

Doc lunged at him; Peter dodged. “Wait, no,” he continued. “Kitschy. Campy. Gaudy.” Another swipe, another dodge. “No, I was right the first time. Tacky, it’s tacky.”

The next swipe came from behind him, and Peter jumped out of the way just in time. “What do you even want, Doc? For a guy in tights to teach you that robbing banks and taking hostages is wrong? Congrats, you got it!” He didn’t know if there were hostages; he’d been too stunned by Otto to check, he just assumed there were. There were almost always hostages when the guys in costumes got involved.

“How do you know my name?” Octavius growled.

Yep, there were hostages.

“I dunno, it was just a vibe. You kind of look like my dentist.” And the man who shaped my college career, but same thing.

Most nights he could go on like this forever. Banter, dodge, punch, jump, repeat. Talk him into submission, until he was too worn down by Peter’s endless punchlines to punch back.  Tonight, he was tired. He was injured. He had a dog at home waiting for a walk. This needed to be quick—rescue the hostages, get Otto taken in and looked after. (Kindly, he hoped; the Otto Octavius he knew was a good man, and was probably in there somewhere, scared and confused.) In the morning, maybe Peter Parker could call to innocently, coincidentally check in on his old mentor and get the full story.

“You’re a nuisance, Spider-Man. You know that, don’t you?”

“So it said on my report cards.”

Octavius stepped closer, and Peter webbed one of his metal legs to the ground, but he kept swiping. In his real arms, the human ones, Peter could see a briefcase, presumably full of the stolen money or techno-weapons for looting safety deposit boxes. So he already had what he wanted, but still the hostages, still the rampage, still the crazed look behind those horrible dark goggles. Peter could deal with him, the cops could free the hostages, they’d be fine, this was fine, everything was going to be fine.

But how had this happened—why had this happened? Did he poison everyone he touched? Ben, Gwen, Norman, even Harry, all either dead or driven mad by his proximity. Who next? Tony? May? Steph? MJ? His high school science teacher? His next-door neighbors?

You ruin everything, Peter Parker. They’re safer if you don’t love them, if they don’t love you. You’re a time bomb. A nuclear blast. Look at what you do to them. What you’ve done. You’re not worth it.

His spider sense alerting him to an incoming blow put a pause on the cycle of self-loathing. He couldn’t dodge in time, and an angry fist landed hard against his face. He groaned, and he tasted the blood from his (now probably broken) nose as it dripped into his mouth. “What do you want, Otto?” he spat.

Shit.

“Doctor” he could get away with as a joke, but how would Spider-Man know Doctor Octavius’s first name? He wouldn’t, that’s how. Not unless they knew each other in real life, civilian life, faces uncovered and feet on the ground. Peter, you idiot. His cover, which he had so carefully maintained for the past eight years, was about a minute from being blown by an academic in octopus cosplay. 

This shouldn’t have been happening. He was a professional, he was good at this. He had learned from his past, he was doing better, and these were amateur mistakes. He was off his game, that’s what this was. He was exhausted, injured, overworked, stunned by the improbability of it all. His whole life was improbable; he should have known to expect this kind of thing by now, but he wasn’t convinced he wasn’t living out some middle schooler’s sadistic Mad Libs. He still had time to fix this.

Otto said nothing; he just laughed.

Peter tried to launch himself in the air for a swing and a kick, but his reflexes were slowing, his injuries worsening. Whatever healing he’d done had been set back several days, and every movement was more labored than the last. Before he could evade, the arms, all of them now free of webbing, wrapped themselves around him and pulled him in. Peter hissed in response, his exhalation short and shallow, doing his best to suppress a yelp.

“Oh, come on. Personal space, dude,” he said, and the top left arm pinched his wrists together in response. He was now being held fast in evil, sentient handcuffs, no hopes of swinging away in sight. Nothing this stupid would have happened to Tony; Tony would have had lasers and lights and taken out this guy in minutes. Hell, he could have called in the Iron Legion for backup if he’d wanted, but a single man didn’t deserve it. Peter was a disappointment, again. This should have been so easy, and yet.

And yet.

Peter wasn’t Tony Stark.

“Otto,” growled Octavius.

Peter said nothing.

“Why did you call me that?”

This time, Peter squirmed. He was being held tightly, so tightly. His wrists were raw, his chest burning, and at some point, he had started to bleed. Work was going to have to buy bike accident twice this week. ”I told you. You look like my dentist. His name’s Otto. It was a lucky guess.”

“Somehow, I don’t believe you.”

His head spun and his mouth tasted like iron and asphalt as the world tunneled in around the edges of his vision. His hands still tied, he tried to gain some leverage with a kick, but the other arms squeezed even tighter until he was sure he felt a crunch. Great. This was it, this was how he died. Sometime around midnight outside a random bank because his college thesis advisor had taken up a life of crime and he’d been too weak and injured to do anything about it. Yeah, that tracked.

“Who are you, Spider-Man?”

Peter couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, could only steel himself as his spider sense turned on high alert. Imminent danger, big time. Yeah, he got it. With the human hand not holding the briefcase, Otto pulled the mask from his head.

And immediately dropped him, limp and winded and battered, to the ground.

Peter’s bare skin was so cold, the streetlights so bright, every sound and smell heightened without the mask.

Otto’s face had cleared with recognition, and his sneer fell away. “Peter?”

Peter groaned. Then he peeled himself off the ground and launched a flurry of web bombs until Otto was wrapped tightly all over. It wouldn’t hold long, but it would have to hold long enough to get him taken safely into custody. Locked up in the Raft for ten to life, a brilliant man’s work cut short by his own creation. (Was it too soon to make Frankenstein jokes?) But Peter couldn’t think about the tragedy of it yet. He had to keep moving.

He kept his head down until he found the mask by Otto’s feet. His hands were shaking, and it took impossibly long to fit it back over his head. It was twisted or too small or made for someone else entirely, bunching around his neck and pulling uncomfortably against his swollen face. And then he stood up, wobbly and wheezing, and faced the officers who were pulling the hostages from the building. Maybe they’d been inside. Maybe they hadn’t seen him. Maybe it was okay.

“You’ve got this from here, Bill,” he said, and, with every ounce of willpower he had left, he swung away on shaky arms to pick up his dog, call Aunt May, and hide in his childhood bedroom for the rest of his life.

&&&

The officers may not have seen him, but there had been bystanders. There are always bystanders, just like there are always hostages. They have cameras. They have social media. They flock to danger, to drama, to sensationalism. They post suffering for the likes and the retweets and the fleeting moments of fame. A Spider-Man sighting was pretty commonplace--novel, but not extraordinary. But this tableau, a hero in crisis, an identity revealed, that was media gold. This was a millennial icon’s Pyrrhic victory. This was a new weak spot in the Accords. And under all that bravado, he was just a scared little boy. They didn't recognize him (there was at least one audible boo when someone realized that Spider-Man was just another pasty white boy), but they’d seen him, and that was enough.

The responsible thing would have been to keep his secret, to respect the sanctity of what had happened here tonight. But the bystanders are never responsible.

While all the others had been texting and tweeting and snapping and streaming, at least one had had the wherewithal to take a picture with one of their fancy, enormous, three-lensed phone cameras and capture Spider-Man unmasked, clear as day, battered and bloody but distinctly him, and send it straight to the Daily Bugle.

(The ball’s in your court now, Jameson.)

[areyoureadyforsomemeatballz]

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Summary: Shield University puts on a fall festival every year and donates the proceeds to charity. While most of your friends are signed up to help with booths, you are left to crash a date with Steve. When someone drops out of the kissing booth and you take their place Steve is forced to make a choice.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (College AU)

Word Count: 1900

Warnings: Mentions of female presenting nipples (sorry couldn’t resist) and other body parts (is this to saucy for new tumblr, who knows?) . Mutual pining? Some cursing? Vague dirty talk?

A/N: I had a blast writing this! It’s my submission for @captain-rogers-beard Fall into Marvel Challenge. My prompt was fall fair’s and who better to go to a fair with than Steve? It’s the last day of fall, so I made it just in the nick of time. If you like it please SCREAM with me in the comments, I love talking with you guys more than anything!

“A little to the left,” you shout. “Right there! That’s perfect, Steve.”

Clint tosses his arm over your shoulder as you watch Steve pound the last stake into the ground, securing the entrance gates for the fair. “That sounded vaguely dirty, sweet pea. Though I’m sure Steve wouldn’t mind.”

Your cheeks heat up and you try to shrug his arm off you. “I don’t know what you mean, Clit. We’re just friends.”

“C’mon that nickname has been old since freshman year. Also, you’re wrong, me and you are friends. Meanwhile, you and him are one wrong move from ripping each other’s clothes-”

Steve clears his throat and you jump away from Clint with wide eyes. “I need some help hanging the signs for the booths if you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Clint says.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Steve grits out. “Are you busy, doll?”

“No, we’re good here for now. We can’t hang the entrance banners until we finish painting them.”

Steve looks over to where all the paint supplies are laid out and grins at you. “Why don’t we finish that, and Clint can handle the booths?”

Clint groans and stomps off toward the stack of signs. “Who pissed in his cheerio’s?”

“You gave us the fun job, Steven. That’s not fair.”

“Hey, he called me boss and I went with it. We deserved a break.”

You walk over and pick up a paintbrush and continue the pattern of orange and black stripes. “I can’t argue with that. I’ve been working my ass off all day.”

Steve moves to the other side of the banner and paints a jack-o-lantern. “Speaking of asses, who were you and Clint talking about?”

You keep your attention trained on the colors in front of you. “That was the worst segue I think I have ever heard.”  

Steve laughs and you join in. “It’s a secret then?”

You look up at him and your eyes go wide. “Ah, Stevie, you got something,” you say as you point to your cheek. “No, you’re missing it. Here.”

He leans in close enough for you to sweep your paintbrush across his face, leaving a bright orange streak on his flushed cheeks. Steve grabs your wrist before your able to run away and he pulls you toward his chest. This sends you both toppling to the ground in a fit of giggles. He scoops up a glob off his cheek and smears it along your nose.

“Hey, guys? Not to interrupt, but we’re all done here,” Clint says.

You and Steve stand up and you help him brush off the leaves that are covering his back. He slings your backpack over his shoulder and the two of you walk back to your apartment building. He pauses when you make it to your front door.

“You still want to meet up tonight?”

“Yeah, Pep and Tony don’t have assignments and I thought we could hang out with them,” Steve says with a smile.

You raise your brow at him. “As long as they’re okay with it? I mean I’m assuming it’s a date?”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine with it? I’ll check.”

“Let me know.”

He nods, and you close your front door as he walks away. “I’d be fine if it was just us, Steve. God, how hard would that have been to say?”

Natasha walks up beside you and locks the door. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Fuck, we need to get you a bell!”  

She grins at you and you can’t help but laugh. “Did you finally tell him how you feel?”

“Who? Brock? No, I think we’re just going to be friends.”

She laughs and pulls you toward the living room. “You know who I’m talking about, dumb ass. And it’s definitely not that creep.” 

“Nat,” you whine. “It’s not that easy. I even had the perfect opportunity.”

“Let me guess it had something to do with paint?” She says and taps your orange nose. “And there’s no such thing. You’ve just got to tell him.”

“I’m going to try at the fair. We’re going with Pepper and Tony, but, I’m sure I can do it.”

“After you come visit your poor working friends at their booth, right?”

You roll your eyes at her and flop down on your couch. “You and Wanda should’ve just signed up for set up with me. Then you would be off the hook tonight and could enjoy the fair.”

“I don’t mind helping at a booth and I think you and Steve had set up covered.” She wiggles her perfect eyebrows at you, causing you to groan.

“I’m not coming to visit you.”

“Yes, you are,” she sing-songs.

The sun is just starting to fade as you make your way through the gates of the fair. Steve immediately drags the three of you to get treats. Pepper loops her arm around yours and the two of you humor Steve as Tony whines.

You swipe a piece of cotton candy off the bundle that Steve is holding in his hand and smile at him. “I promised Nat and Wanda that I would stop by their booth and say ‘hi’. After that, it’s up to you guys what we do.”

You and Pepper trail ahead as you look for the booth. Tony nudges Steve in the side and the two hang back further.

“So, you enjoying our double date?”

“Yeah- wait no. This isn’t a date. It’s just- we’re just hanging out.”

“Me and Pepper are on a date.”

“What does that have to do with me and-”

“Stevie! I need your help up here,” you call to him and he can’t fight the smile that spreads across his face.

Tony shoots Steve a pointed look over his shoulder as he walks faster to wrap his arm around Pepper’s waist. Steve stops in his tracks before shaking his head and rushing to catch up with you. He reaches you in time to hear Natasha pleading with you and Pepper.

“Maria’s sick and I need a girl to fill in for her. Sam’s shift is almost up. Please tell me one of you will do it?”

“Count me out. This is mine and Tony’s first date in weeks, so I don’t think that I should spend the evening kissing other people,” Pepper says as she squeezes Tony’s hand.

“As much as I joke about sharing, I’d prefer if it was just us tonight.” Tony catches Steve’s eye and nods toward you, causing the blond to vigorously shake his head. “I spy one hottie that’s not hindered by a relationship.”

You roll your eyes and rub your chin. “Hm, I don’t know. I mean I could just have a nice relaxing evening. Or, I could make out with gross guys that are willing to pay for it for half an hour.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that there are tons of good guys in line and quite a few ladies,” Natasha turns toward the line and smirks. “In fact, I see Brunhilde and Carol lining up to get a chance with you. Plus, it’s for a good cause. Think of the children.”

You peek over at Steve just as he plasters a fake smile on his face and you give him a reluctant smile back. “That’s a low blow. But, fine you got me.”

“You’re a lifesaver! Follow me so I can get you ready.”

Natasha leads you to a curtain behind the stool that Sam is currently perched on as he locks lips with Bucky. Wanda announces to the crowd that this is Sam’s last kiss. Bucky slips off his blindfold and the pair smiles at each other and leans in for another kiss. When she says that you are taking the next shift there are a few whoops from the crowd.

“Tony, I need your wallet,” Steve says without taking his eyes off Natasha painting lipstick on your lips.

“What do you want to ride the Tilt O’ Whirl, Dorito? I’ll come with you I’ve been meaning to talk to the hot attendant all night.”

Pepper slips her hand into Tony’s pocket and pulls a stack of cash out of his wallet. “Your smart mouth is going to get you in trouble one of these days, darling. Besides, I’m sure Rhodey doesn’t want you bothering him during his shift.”

Up ahead, Natasha is helping you get settled on the stool and slipping a blindfold over your eyes. She returns to her spot next to Wanda to collect money from the horde of people waiting in line.

Pepper holds the money out to Steve, which he takes with a wide grin. “Can you guys do me one more favor? I need a distraction.”

“Oh! I get it you’re going to rescue your damsel in distress from locking lips with every hottie at the fair-”

Steve rolls his eyes but can’t wipe the smile off his face. He nudges Tony with his elbow and starts walking toward the ticket table for the kissing booth.  

“Virginia Potts,” Tony cries loud enough to draw the attention of everyone in line. “Put your shirt back on. This is a family event!”

Pepper rolls her eyes but can’t help but grin at Tony. “Why do I put up with you?”

“Hey, you’re the one that offered my help. He wanted a distraction! What’s more distracting than your perfect boobs?”

Steve runs past the line and tosses the stack of money down on the table. “I think that buys me more than her whole shift?”

Wanda and Natasha grin at him and nod him towards you. Bucky’s leaning against the table with his arm wrapped around Sam’s waist.

“Took you long enough, punk.”

“Hey that’s not fair,” Brock says as he slams down his money on the table. “I’ve been waiting all night for a chance with her.”

Bucky drops his arm and scoops the money off the table and pushes it against Brock’s chest.  “First off, she said yes to doing this five minutes ago. Second, the rest of us, including her, are thanking god that we didn’t have to experience that.”

Steve ignores the commotion behind him and cradles your face in his palms. He lifts one hand to take the blindfold off of your face and you raise your brow when you meet his eyes. His eyes dart down to your lips.

“Steve?”

He lets out a deep breath and drops his hands. “I didn’t want you to feel like you had to-”

Your heart pounds in your chest as you pull Steve closer to you by his jacket. His lips slot against yours clumsily at first, but the kiss quickly melts into something raw and needy. One of his hands cups your cheek as the other slips behind your back to pull you flush against him. Your tongue softly sweeps across his lips as you hear cheers behind you. You pull away from him reluctantly.  

Steve pulls back from you with shining eyes and his cheeks stained a ruddy pink. “Hi, doll.”

“Hi.” You grin up at him and bury your face when you hear Sam and Bucky’s shouting behind you again.

“So, your shift has got another twenty minutes,” Steve says with a grin. “What d’ya say we go ride the Ferris wheel?”

You pick your head up off his chest. “On one condition.”

“Anything.”

“Kiss me again.”

Steve beams at you and tilts your chin up gently with one finger. Your lips connect again and before you know it the two of you are running away from your friends, hand in hand.

[takenbyemrys]

Chapter: 1/1

Main Pairing: Derek Hale/ Stiles Stilinski

Summary: The pack returns for Spring breaks during their last year(s) of college and they play a game of never have i ever. They come to find out that very few of them actually know Stiles. Turns out Stiles isn't a virgin? And Derek like cannot handle confident/kinky Stiles.

It was during pack night that they truly learned that they didn’t actually know Stiles. It was after they’d all gone away to college, and they were in their junior and senior years. Derek had rebuilt the Hale house for all of them, and they stayed there when they came home from classes. It was during one spring break that Lydia suggested the game. They hadn’t drifted apart, per say, but they all lived in different cities now, so they missed a lot of stuff between them. 

Stiles and Cora had gone the farthest, to Caltech and UCLA respectively. It was a short drive between the schools, so they shared an apartment in the middle. Lydia and Allison were both accepted to Stanford, while Scott and Isaac were at UC Berkeley. Erica had stayed in Beacon Hills to go to community college while Boyd went to the Police academy. As a wolf, Cora made sure to come home every break to see her alpha, but Stiles had only come home every other break, citing homework or other things. Derek tried not to let it get to him, but the pack could see that not seeing Stiles for so long was taking a toll on their Alpha. They could all tell that Derek was ridiculously in love with him, especially when Stiles came home the summer after sophomore year, sporting a couple tattoos and very defined muscles. 

So when they were finally all together the spring break before they graduated, Lydia couldn’t help but suggest a good game of never have i ever. They each had five shots sitting in front of them, waiting to be taken. Stiles didn’t like the mischievous looks Lydia was giving him. 

“Okay! I will go first.” Lydia smirked around the circle. Groans went up, they knew they were going to be getting drunk fast. “Never have i ever, had sex with someone of the same gender.” Isaac, Cora, Derek, and Stiles all took shots. Scott tilted his head.

“Stiles why did you take a shot?” He asked. 

“Well Scotty, you take a shot if you’ve done the thing Lydia said. I did the thing.” Stiles snarked. 

“Wait, what?”  Isaac was so confused. 

“Guys, what’s so wrong with me having sex with a guy?” Stiles snarled. Cora started the giggle softly.

“It’s not the guy part Stiles. We just never thought you’d actually had sex.” Allison admitted. Cora was full of rolling on the floor now. Lydia was smirking. Stiles gave them his best bitch face. Even Derek was interested. 

“Guys, i’ve had sex. Jesus Christ I’m twenty two fucking years old.” Stiles huffed. “Who's next?” The pack shifted uncomfortably, but Isaac spoke up.

“It’s me. Um, never have i ever had sex in a public place.” Erica and Boyd smirked, clinked their shots and downed them.

“You two would,” Stiles snickered before downing his own shot. They were all openly staring.

“Okay, where the fuck did you have sex in public?” Erica asked. 

“Well, there was time i went camping in the Angeles national forest. I did it at the local country club in the restaurant bathroom. Cora, you remember when we went to museum of contemporary art in LA?” Cora blushed. 

“I knew you weren’t in the bathroom for that long!” She accused.

“I mean, I technically was.” Stiles smirked. “There’s a couple others.” He shrugged. “Erica, you’re next.” The blonde bombshell appraised him with a new respect. 

“Alright, never have I ever said the wrong name in bed.” She smirked. Lydia blushed and took a shot. Stiles tried to take his quickly.

“Jesus Stiles, whose name did you say?” Erica whistled. Cora was laughing again.

“Cor, shut up. I’m not talking about this.” Stiles blushed.

Cora snorted. “We can talk about it later. Boyd go on.” The wolf thought for a minute before he spoke.

“Never have i ever kissed the picture of a celebrity.” Boyd said proudly. No one moved.

“Scott.” Stiles said accusingly. The beta flushed bright red before quickly taking a shot.

“I forgot you saw that.” Scott mumbled.

“Oh my god, whose picture did you kiss?” Allison squealed with a grin. Scott mumbled something unintelligible. “I’m sorry, i didn’t catch that.”

“Leonardo DiCaprio!” Stiles chuckled. Scott blushed.

“I was like seven okay! My mom liked him.” Scott blushed. “Look, it’s my turn. Never have i ever had a threesome.” Stiles and Lydia took shots.

“It’s like I don’t even know you.” Erica whispered to Stiles, who just grinned at her.

“Well, what was it like?” Isaac asked, leaning forward. Lydia rolled her eyes.

“It was just sex Isaac,” Lydia admonished. Stiles shrugged.

“Pretty much. I wasn’t a huge fan of splitting my attention.” Stiles shrugged. 

“You like to give it your all, huh Stiles?” Erica smirked. Stiles gave her a wink. Derek was honestly stunned. Stiles was always as pure as fucking snow, and he would honestly love nothing more than to learn everything that Stiles knows.

“Okay, never have i ever fantasized about a friend's significant other.” Allison said. Erica and Isaac each took shots. “What you haven’t done that Stiles?” She teased. Stiles just shrugged. 

“Eh, i do have a line.” Stiles smirked. “Oh alpha, my alpha, your turn.” Stiles giggled. His four shots were hitting hard.

“You skipped me Stiles.” Cora said, sticking her tongue out at him. Stiles snickered.

“Sorry, Cor. Please, embarrass me more.” Stiles leaned into Derek’s shoulder. Cora smiled wickedly. 

“With pleasure. Never have i ever tried role playing.” Stiles slammed his empty glass on the floor. 

“You bitch!” He cursed. Cora was rolling on the floor again.

“Story time!” Erica said gleefully. Stiles noted that Allison, Scott, Erica, Boyd, and surprisingly Derek had all taken shots. 

“I can’t do it. Cora tell the story for me.” Stiles buried his face in Derek’s shoulder, who was frozen. They all rolled their eyes at their alpha and turned to Cora.

“Okay, so it was last year, and i was supposed to be out camping with friends, but it was raining, so we came home early. When i got home, i didn’t expect that Stiles had someone over, so i opened his door to tell him i was home and i still can’t ever forget this.” Cora was grinning, but she had to stop and take a deep breath. Stiles groaned in anticipation. “So this girl Stiles was kinds of seeing at the time, was totally not okay with me living there, just to put this out there for later. But anyway, i open his door and what do i see! Stiles is kneeling on the bed, wearing nothing but kitty ears and a leash!” Erica and Lydia squeal. Scott claps his hands over his ears, Boyd fucking laughs, and Isaac is tomato red. Derek, is even more stiff under Stiles.

“So, you’re the submissive type?” Derek smirks. Stiles groans.

“Quite the opposite actually. I’m very domineering. But jesus, come on guys. I’ll try anything at least once, okay?” Derek’s heart stuttered.”I’m out of shots. I’ll hold up fingers now.” Stiles lifted his face of Derek’s shoulder and held up a hand. He waited patiently for the wolves to stop laughing.

“So, why cat ears?” Lydia wheezed. “No wolf ears?” Derek couldn’t help but think of Stiles in wolf ears. His inner wolf growled with want. Stiles groaned.

“They were all she had. Jesus, let’s just move on. Derek, what have you never done?” Stiles asked. Derek cleared his throat and focused on the rest of the pack.

“Uh, never have i ever slept with someone in the room.” Derek said proudly. Erica, Boyd, Allison, and Scott took shots as expected. But everyone was floored when Cora and Lydia took a shot. They were even more floored when Stiles slowly lowered a finger. 

“You slept with me sister.” Derek growled. Stiles ducked his head. 

“I mean like, yes, but also, we were not in our right minds. It was like three years ago okay? And Cora, we decided that we were absolutely never going to talk about it.” Cora just snickered.

“Wait Lydia? Who did you sleep with?” Isaac asked. Lydia and Stiles avoided eye contact.

“Oh. My. God.” Allison said.

“Dude! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you slept with Lydia!” Scott hissed. Stiles avoided eye contact with everybody.

“It was right after high school graduation, but uh… It… uh… didn’t end very well…” Stiles wined. Lydia covered her mouth.

“What happened? Was is not good?” Erica asked.

“Oh no, Stiles is definitely great in bed, but uh…” Lydia blushed.

“We each said someone else’s name.” Stiles finished. The entire group groaned.

“Ouch.” Boyd said.

“Whose names did you say?” Isaac asked. Lydia and Stiles met eyes and snickered.

“Can’t say.” She shrugged.

“Scout’s honor promise.” Stiles nodded.

“So you were both into someone you weren’t ready to talk about?” Allison asked.

“Oh yeah. So let’s move the fuck on.” Stiles said. Lydia was still blushing. Stiles leaned into her side.

“We’re a couple of hopeless causes.” She snickered.

“I am, you’re not.” He said. “Anyway, my turn, so never have i ever fallen asleep during sex.” Stiles grinned. Scott took a sad shot to the jeers of the pack.

“Shut up okay.” The game continued for a couple more rounds until most were out of shots. The pack learning that Stiles had used sex toys, had multiple one night stands in one night, hooked up with someone over tinder, and hooked up with a professor, thanks to Cora’s pointed questions. He had been injured trying to impress someone, he got a little quiet after that question, and Lydia pushed the game forward. 

The game ended when Cora smirked at Stiles. He knew it was over. “Never have i ever been in love with someone in this room.” Allison, Boyd, Erica, and Scott took shots. Stiles groaned and flopped his hand on the ground. They all turned as Derek picked up his glass and downed his last shot. Everyone was staring at him with awe. Stiles, because he’s really that fucking oblivious, and the rest of the pack, because they didn’t think he’d own up to it.

“Who the fuck are you in love with?” Stiles breathed. Derek blushed, looking anywhere but at his pack. Why did he feel the compulsion to take the shot? It was so much better when he could hide it away. He told himself he would be happy if Stiles had ever found someone. Derek sighed and caught Stiles eye. “Fuck it’s Lydia isn’t it?” Lydia face palmed behind him.

“No, you fucking idiot!” Cora yelled. 

“It’s you Stiles.” Derek said. Stiles’ jaw dropped. Derek flashed his eyed at the pack and sent them all running, abandoning the alcohol they had left. “Stiles?” Derek asked, resting his hand on the man’s shoulder. Stiles jumped at the contact, springing to his feet. Derek watched as he paced the living room, muttering unintelligible things to himself. Suddenly he stopped and turned to Derek.

“You can’t be serious?” He said. Derek sighed. Of course this was the reaction he would get.

“Yes Stiles, i am serious. I’ve been in love with you for, quite a while.” Derek sighed. Stiles stared at him slack jawed. He blinked before he was flinging himself at the alpha. Derek caught him with ease, and was more than stunned when Stiles captured his lips. They made out for several minutes before Derek pulled away. “What is this Stiles?” He asked.

“This is me, kissing the man i’ve been in love with since i was fucking sixteen.” Stiles groaned as he tried to capture Derek’s lips again, but Derek was frozen.

“What?” Derek breathed. 

“Derek. Ya know how we just went over that I slept with Lydia right after high school graduation?” Derek growled. “Right, well when we each called out the wrong name… i called out yours.” He finished lamely. Derek growled and captured the man’s lips once more.

“Well, now i’m going to make you call out the right name.” Derek growled. 

Basking in the sweaty afterglow of Derek’s chest was so much better that Stiles had ever imagined. “So, are you going to come home more often now?” Derek asked softly.

“Derek, the biggest reason i stayed away was because it was so painful to see you while i was pining.” Stiles admitted. “So, when i graduate, i plan to fully take up residence in my bedroom next door.” Derek rubbed circles on his back.

“Or, you could take up residence right here,” Derek breathed. Stiles swore his heart skipped a beat. He smiled into Derek’s chest and nodded. “Good, i need you here so i can keep an eye on you. I can’t have you sleeping with my sister again.” Stiles snorted.

“We’re never talking about that. For the record. I called out your name that time too. That’s why she had so much glee about it.” Stiles groaned. Derek couldn’t help but smile.

“Maybe when you get back after graduation we can scrounge up some wolf ears for you,” Derek growled, rolling on top of Stiles. Stiles couldn’t help but laugh, thinking about all of the fun they were going to have over the years.

Fin.

[effyeahzimbits]

Swawesome Santa 2018 Submission

Title: Five Times Bitty and Jack Allowed Fate to Get the Better of Them…and the One Time They Took Matters into Their Own Hands Rating: T+ Pairings: Jack/Bitty, mentions of Shitty/Lardo, mentions of Holster/Ransom. Very, very brief Jack/OC and Bitty/OC. Warnings: Alcohol use, brief mentions of Jack’s overdose. Summary: Bitty always felt like he was missing a train he was meant to have taken. Jack always let the universe decide which direction he should go in. It took them three New Year's Eves before they got it right.A 5+1 things AU fic created for the Swawesome Santa, gifted to @loveyoutoobits! I hope you like it.

 Five Times Bitty and Jack Allowed Fate to Get the Better of Them…and the One Time They Took Matters into Their Own Hands   

31st December 2017    Bitty’s first New Year’s Eve in Boston was spent in a bar. He wasn’t a stranger to bars, especially the loud, gaudy one he was in right now. But he had previously rung in the new years with his parents at family parties back in Madison, Georgia, and had been desperate for a change of scenery. When his best friends had suggested a night out on the town, he had jumped at the chance. He never turned down an opportunity to dance and spend the night with his friends.     That was also the night he first met Jack Zimmermann.    

     Now, Bitty didn’t know a great deal about hockey culture. He knew the game and enjoyed it just as much as his friends did, but he never took that much interest in teams’ rosters and star players. But Jack Zimmermann, the Providence Falconers’ current captain, he knew. If only because he scored a hat trick in their last game against the Bruins and Holster was furious for a week. Bitty had been impressed enough to Google him, and had been impressed further by the man’s understated smile and bright blue eyes. Still, he was just another hockey player.     Just another hockey player who turned out to be the best friend of Lardo’s new boyfriend.     Bitty could see right away he wasn’t the partying type. While Bitty and his friends downed shots and sang at the top of their lungs and danced without a care in the world, Jack simply sat at a booth nursing a single beer and watching them have a good time. When questioned he just said he was perfectly happy as he was, and Shitty (Lardo’s boyfriend) would confirm it. Bitty mostly forgot all about him and continued partying. That was, until he felt Jack’s eyes on him.     No one knew how he did it. Hell, even Bitty himself didn’t know how he did it. But one moment he was playfully beckoning Zimmermann from the dance floor, and the next Jack was joining him. He looked just as surprised to find himself there as anyone else, but Bitty wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity. With Shitty, Ransom and Holster all hollering excitedly behind them, Bitty tugged Jack towards him.     It turned out that Jack Zimmermann wasn’t a bad dancer. He was a little shy and awkward at first, swaying stiffly beside him. Bitty would later blame it on the alcohol, but at the time he just simply didn’t think and grabbed Jack’s hand and pulled. Jack’s professional athlete build wasn’t fazed by the gesture, but something in him was, and it was enough to encourage him to move. A couple of songs in, and Jack was matching Bitty’s peppy rhythm.     Bitty couldn’t put his finger on it, especially with his brain fogged with a haze of Jägermeister and Red Bull, but there was something between them that neither of them expected. It was almost an electricity, thrumming with an energy that made the hair on Bitty’s forearms stand on end. It started at their joined hands and vibrated through them until it resonated in their chests. He’d barely said more than two sentences to Jack Zimmermann all night, but suddenly Bitty wanted to kiss him.     He could tell the exact moment Jack became aware of the connection. The easy smile on his face quickly dropped and was replaced with an uneasy confusion. There was a muttered excuse – Bitty couldn’t hear it over the pounding music – and then Jack turned and hurried out of the bar, fighting his way through the crowd. Bitty watched him go, then shrugged carelessly and turned around to dance with his friends again.    It wasn’t until he woke up the next morning, slightly hungover but content, did he wonder if the universe had tried to give him something and he let it pass him by.   5th May 2018     Bitty had explicitly said no parties. Every birthday for the last four years his friends had threw a raging kegster to celebrate. For his first birthday out of college, all Bitty wanted was to call his parents, bake some nice food and share it with his friends over a glass of good wine and the Great British Bake-Off reruns (the better ones, before Mary, Mel and Sue had quit the show obviously). Ransom, Holster and Shitty had taken a little more persuading, but had soon agreed after Bitty had promised his signature peach cobbler and black forest brownies.     His phone call to his parents lasted nearly an hour. His relationship with them had been a little strained since coming out, but it was slowly getting better, and he hung up with a big smile on his face. Lardo had still been in bed at ten that morning, so he went to the store to fetch baking ingredients on his own. It was cliché, but it was a perfect spring day, like it was the movie of his life.     Working as a junior social media and marketing assistant had its perks, like weekends off. Today was a Saturday, so he wandered down to the fresh foods market for his ingredients. The peaches weren’t quite as sweet as the ones back home, but the ones here were a close second. He left an hour later with his tote bag full to the brim with ripened fruit and fresh spices and fingers sticky with pear juice. He stopped by his favourite deli next, the one with the premium butter and organic flour. His budget never usually stretched past Walmart, but he had birthday money burning a hole in his pocket.     It was late afternoon by the time he got home. The kitchen smelled strongly of ground coffee, and he found Lardo perching on a chair and trying to hang purple streamers from the lampshade. She had put on her favourite sweatshirt for the occasion, the one with a rubber duck wearing sunglasses, and that alone made Bitty’s chest swell with happiness. They finished putting up the streamers between them and had lunch, squabbling over whose turn it was to use the one decent plate they had. It was Lardo’s, who overruled Bitty’s birthday argument with a smirk and a flick to his forehead.     An hour later he was elbow deep in pastry when the buzzer rang. It was Ransom and Holster, bearing wine and beer and takeout menus, though they all knew they’d be too full of pie to eat the Chinese food they’d still order. The wine was shared out and they were put to work, greasing tins and chopping fruit. Shitty appeared not long after, and gave Bitty a slurpy, whiskery kiss on his cheek before handing over more wine. He wore a suspicious grin for a whole hour and sang loudly and out of tune to the radio as he peeled peaches.     When the buzzer went a third time, everyone looked around at each other in confusion, except Shitty, who just grinned even wider. Bitty rolled his eyes and wiped his hands on a towel, wondering who on earth Shitty had invited. Maybe a stripper. He didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved when he found a shy looking Jack Zimmermann in the hallway. He was pleasantly surprised though, especially when Jack sheepishly held out a small bunch of flowers and wished him happy birthday.     He’d met Jack a handful of times since New Year’s Eve. He’d learned that Jack wasn’t quite as stoic and robotic in real life as his television interviews would have you believe. He was quiet and reserved, but also thoughtful and could hold his own in an intelligent discussion. His accent was just as endearing though, and Bitty found his awkward shyness adorable. Bitty never denied the attraction to himself, but it was never one he would act on either.     Parties and clubs might not have been his thing, but it turned out that quiet gatherings with people he knew were more to Jack’s taste. He threw himself into the baking, listening to Bitty’s instructions with keen ears and following them with enthusiasm. After a glass of wine Bitty would even call him charming, quick to tease or crack a joke. If Bitty didn’t know any better, he’d say Jack was flirting with him when he flicked flour in his face or purposely nudged his pie out of the way when he tried to take a bite. But Bitty did know better. Guys like Jack were never Not Straight. And even if they were, Bitty was never their type.     It was probably the best birthday he’d ever had, anyway. By the end of the night, his and Lardo’s apartment was a complete mess. The streamers had fallen, there were plates and takeout cartons all over the living room and the kitchen was filled with dirty pans and covered in a fine layer of flour dust. They’d eaten and drank until they were fit to burst, argued over which Bake-Off contestant would win in a mud fight, and Jack had offended them all by declaring he didn’t find Mary Berry all that great. Come midnight, Ransom and Holster had wandered back to their own apartment and Lardo had dragged a wasted Shitty back to her room. Bitty told Jack he didn’t need to stay and help tidy, but Jack insisted anyway.     It was only when they were both alone did Bitty feel it again. That strange electricity that drew Bitty towards Jack like a moth to the flame. He couldn’t blame the alcohol this time, not after only two glasses of wine. Jack either wasn’t aware of it, or was ignoring it, focusing hard on wiping flour from the counter tops. Bitty tried to do the same, humming along to the quiet tune playing on the radio as he filled a trashbag full of rubbish. They worked without a word, moving around almost in tandem, like they had done it a million times before.     Bitty didn’t believe in fate, or soul mates, or past lives. At least, he didn’t until their rhythm was suddenly broken and they bumped into one another. Jack had flour on his nose and a dirty cloth in his hand. Bitty had a smudge of cherry sauce on his mouth and was holding a stack of empty plates. They both laughed and then went still. It felt like they were both waiting for something as they looked at each other, taking in lashes and eyes and noses and freckles and dimples and mouths. Waiting for what though, they didn’t know.     Jack’s phone pinged. It was loud enough to break the reverie and they both pulled free from the spell. Jack could never leave a text unanswered, and for the briefest of seconds Bitty wished that he would. Ignoring a text would make him not-Jack though, so he couldn’t be too disappointed when Jack took a step back and pulled his phone from his back pocket. Bitty cleared his throat and continued his task like nothing had happened.     Jack was still staring at his phone screen a couple of minutes later. His brows were slightly furrowed, but Bitty couldn’t read the expression on his face. He questioned him gently, and Jack almost jumped, like he’d forgotten where he was. He managed an apologetic smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He didn’t explain himself or the text message, and simply announced that he had to leave. With a last ‘happy birthday’ he showed himself to the door and left.     Bitty felt like he had just missed a train that he was supposed to take.   31st December 2018     They didn’t go to a bar that year. Ransom and Holster threw a party in their apartment, though it was thankfully not as outrageous as the kegsters they used to host in college. Their work friends were accountants and administrators and fellow consultants so Bitty wasn’t expecting it to get too wild. He’d had a pleasant, sleepy Christmas with plenty of good food and catching up with family, so didn’t mind that this new year was different to the last. Lardo brought Shitty along, who naturally dragged Jack with him. Bitty was over the moon to hear this, hoping that maybe fate would give them both a helping hand this year.     However, it appeared that fate had other plans in store. Jack appeared at the party as promised, but Bitty hadn’t expected to see a young, smiley blonde man attached to his hip. Jack introduced him as his boyfriend, and Bitty felt like the floor had abruptly disappeared from beneath him. It was a lot to process all at once. He’d started to have suspicions that Jack was Not Straight as Bitty had originally thought, and to have that confirmed was a little overwhelming. Then to learn that he was also suddenly spoken for left Bitty with a bitter taste in his mouth.     He and Jack had grown close over the last few months, and he thought that they shared everything over a glass of wine and a slice of pie. It turned out that was wrong though, and Bitty wasn’t sure what he felt more betrayed about. Still, he plastered on a smile and congratulated them as if it wasn’t a knife through his heart.     Jack’s partner was funny and charming and handsome and everyone liked him. Bitty wanted to hate him, but he couldn’t bring himself to. The man had asked for his macaron recipe and talked about his cat for a full twenty minutes for god’s sake. When Bitty had first walked in, he’d eyed the mistletoe hanging over each door with hopeful eyes, but now he just glared at it acrimoniously. It was an ugly way to feel, but Bitty couldn’t help but think the universe was laughing in his face.     The worst thing was, Jack looked happy. Bitty was pleased for him, but it was tainted, and he hated that it was marred that way. He spied Jack’s hand casually sitting on the man’s waist or spotted a chaste peck on the cheek between them and wanted to down another shot. He didn’t want to spend the night torturing himself, but he didn’t want to succumb to the jealousy either. He left at eleven, feigning a headache and smiling through the well wishes.     He would spend tonight pitying himself, and then starting tomorrow he would get over Jack Zimmermann.   August 3rd 2019     Getting over Jack Zimmermann was damned hard. But Greg helped. Bitty had met him at one of Shitty’s law school mixers. He was an ex-college rugby player, dragged along to the event by his friend. Tall, broad, half Greek with a mop of dark, curly hair and an accent that made Bitty’s knees weak. He hadn’t dated seriously since college, and it was hard work. Between working their full-time jobs, Greg’s beer league rugby and Bitty’s figure skating, they barely had enough time to squeeze in dates and time together, but Bitty enjoyed it all the same.     Greg wasn’t Jack. They didn’t share the same sense of humour, and Greg’s taste in music and television wasn’t to Bitty’s tastes, and Greg was bossier and more assertive than Jack ever was. But he was also kind and caring and Bitty had a nice time with him. Even if he wasn’t Jack. But that was okay, because nobody could be Jack but Jack. And Bitty had to be fine about it. He could do that. They hadn’t had time to hang out much lately, but tonight was Jack’s birthday, and Shitty was throwing a get together in his honour. Bitty hadn’t originally wanted to bring Greg along, though he wasn’t sure why. Shitty had invited him too though, and Greg seemed to be looking forward to it. Bitty couldn’t exactly tell him no.      He had no idea what to get Jack for his birthday. What do you get the man who has everything? And if he didn’t have it, he had more than enough money to buy it anyway. This year, Jack had bought Bitty an entire collection of cookbooks from his favourite baker. Bitty knew it cost more than a whole month’s worth of his wages, though to Jack it was probably nothing. How could Bitty match something like that? He knew Jack wasn’t expecting him to, but it still made him feel inadequate.     Whatever it was, it had to be something special. It was almost an apology. I’m sorry we haven’t hung out much and you’ve taken a backseat to my actual Greek god boyfriend. Bitty didn’t think he should feel too guilty though. As far as Bitty knew, Jack was still with his own boyfriend. It was never talked about in the media for obvious reasons, but still, Bitty would know if they’d broken up. No, this get together would be good for the both of them. They could exist in the same room without that stupid electric connection between them. And even if it did appear, their boyfriends would keep it at bay.     Right?     Wrong.     It wasn’t an entire collection of cookbooks, but Bitty turned up on Jack’s swanky Providence doorstep with Jack’s favourite pie and a Barnes and Noble gift card. A feeble attempt, but he’d genuinely been stumped. He knew Jack liked history books, but Bitty was frightened of getting the wrong one. He explained this to Jack in a nervous ramble as he handed them over, but Jack laughed and thanked him sincerely anyway. It was only after Bitty stepped over the threshold did Jack notice who had been standing beside him.     Bitty introduced Greg hurriedly, hoping his edgy fluster wasn’t completely obvious to either of them. Jack was polite and smiley and shook Greg’s hand, but something about it seemed fake. Bitty tried to ignore it, heading straight to the wine. His friends were already around, and he greeted them with false enthusiasm. Once he had his glass in hand and looked around the apartment he noticed Jack’s boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. The pictures of them both were gone, as were the cat hairs and various caps and hoodies they used to share.     Jack and his boyfriend had broken up.     Bitty could’ve kicked himself. He had been so wrapped up in getting over Jack he’d forgotten to be a friend in the meantime. How long had it been since they had last hung out? Or had a lengthy phone call? The only thing Bitty had managed lately was a few quick texts and picture messages every now and again, all of which Jack had promptly replied to. He felt like an idiot. He had to apologise, but he wasn’t sure that this was the right moment. Jack looked like he was enjoying himself.     A few glasses of wine later, Bitty managed to push his guilt aside for the time being. He’d always loved Jack’s kitchen, and couldn’t resist baking in his top of the range oven, no matter the occasion. He was pulling out a tray of freshly baked mini tarts when he realised he was being watched. People had popped in and out the whole time he was baking, to fill up drinks or fetch snacks, but this time the body lingered. Bitty turned to tell them they’d have to wait a bit longer for the tarts to cool, but the words disappeared off his tongue when he noticed it was Jack.     Jack stood in the doorway, a half-drunk bottle of low alcohol beer in his hand. He had a determined look in his eyes that made Bitty go still, though his heart started to hammer in his chest. He didn’t say anything, waiting for Jack to make the first move. The energy was between them again, throbbing loud and unspoken. The metal tray shook in Bitty’s hands.    Jack opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He closed his mouth again, frowned, thought about it. Jack had never been one to say a lot, but each word was usually carefully thought out and selected. Bitty waited, expecting something insightful and meaningful. Jack opened his mouth, closed it, frowned again and thought some more.     Greg made them both jump. He was never quiet or graceful and strode in to the kitchen with a booming voice. He was half drunk, grinning at them and calling back to the others as he filled his glass, stole a mini tart and gave Bitty a swift peck on the cheek. He left almost as quickly as he appeared, but the moment was ruined. Jack gave him a stiff nod and retreated to the living room having clearly lost his nerve.     Bitty slammed the hot tray down onto the marble counter, feeling like he’d missed the train again.   31st December 2019     Tonight, Bitty was going to get drunk. He knew it was silly and immature, but these last few months had been stressful and depressing. He felt like he deserved to let loose and get messy and see off the year in style. A lot of things had happened this winter, including a promotion, Shitty and Lardo’s engagement, and his and Greg’s breakup. He hadn’t been angry or surprised, just disappointed. Greg wasn’t Jack, after all.     Jack wouldn’t be attending the party. He’d had a string of games and a long roadie over the last couple of days and wouldn’t be making it back to Providence until past eleven pm. Bitty knew that Jack would head straight to bed rather than get changed and drag himself to a loud and crowded bar after all of his travelling, and Bitty couldn’t blame him. The season had started off rough, and Jack hadn’t much time for anything in between practicing, playing, resting and all of his extra-curricular events.     Bitty knew this, but couldn’t help feeling frustrated. He’d tried to reach out, especially after his breakup, but Jack felt distant now and Bitty didn’t know how to bridge the gap. He didn’t have the energy anymore. He decided that if Jack was interested in preserving their friendship, it was his turn to make the effort. Bitty wasn’t holding his breath.     It was a fun party. It was the same LGBT+ friendly bar they went to two years ago, and Bitty felt an affinity for it. It almost felt like déjà vu, and if Bitty tried hard enough, he could almost imagine Jack sitting in his corner and nursing his beer. He wouldn’t though, he was done with torturing himself over Jack Zimmermann. He threw himself into the moment instead, filing to memory the song that was playing, the way he felt shimmying to the music, the sight of Lardo’s glittery red lipstick, the smell of Holster’s cheap cologne, the taste of Jägermeister on his tongue.     His phone buzzed at some point, but he ignored it. It buzzed a couple more times and he ignored it again, wanting to switch off from everything that wasn’t this party and this drink in his hand. Midnight was drawing closer, and he was sober enough to be aware of the heavy feeling in his chest. He watched Shitty and Lardo and Ransom and Holster dancing together and all of the other people surrounding him, and he never felt more alone. He suddenly started to wish he was anywhere but there. He wanted to be wherever Jack was.     But Jack wasn’t here. Instead there were dozens of good looking, charming boys dancing around him. A few had tried to catch his eye, and he knew he would have no problem finding someone to dance with. And if they so happened to share a kiss when the clock struck twelve, then where was the crime in that? Just a kiss, on New Year’s Eve, between two consenting adults. No big deal.     The man whose arms he fell into just happened to be tall, and dark, and blue eyed. Maybe he had a type. He didn’t look much like Jack, but if he thought hard he could just feel Jack’s hands on his hips. He looked hard at the boy’s face, trying to imagine Jack in the high cheekbones and full lips. He shook his head, wafting away the daze. That was stupid, he couldn’t keep doing this to himself.     He looked away, but he was starting to see Jack everywhere. A man by the bar had the same jacket. Another guy on the dance floor had the same awkward dance steps. A boy waiting by the toilets had a similar smile. His eyes drifted toward the door and even saw Jack standing there, a single flower in his hands and watching him. But it wasn’t real. None of these men were Jack.     Bitty turned back to the one in his arms and waited for midnight.   31st December 2019     Jack was done waiting. He was tired of letting everything else dictate his life for him. Ever since he was born he felt like the universe had already decided what was going to happen to him. The Q, the overdose, rebuilding his career from the ground up. He couldn’t choose his team. There was only one in the AHL who wanted to set him on after the scandal. He was forever grateful, but it wasn’t something he could choose. He’d worked damn hard to get where he was today. An NHL team, a captaincy and two Stanley Cups under his belt.     The last time he made a decision for himself he ended up nearly killing himself. Even now, he was worried that choosing something for himself could ruin everything. So, he waited. He let people walk in and out of his life as they saw fit. He allowed situations to happen to him, never fighting them or questioning them. It was just the universe deciding for him and he was in no position to try and take control.     Until now.     Jack stood in the doorway of the bar, watching Bitty dancing with another man. He turned the flower around in his hands. It was the same kind he’d bought for Bitty on his birthday a year and a half ago. It was a little cheesy maybe, but he had known Bitty would like it. He’d texted, letting him know he was on his way, but Bitty had never seen the messages. Bitty clearly had different things on his mind. And the old Jack would have turned away, deciding it was just what fate had decided for them, just like always.     But not this Jack.     This Jack was tired and in love. He strode forward, pushing his way past the various bodies towards the dance floor. Bitty’s eyes had drifted over him like he hadn’t realised Jack was really there. Jack couldn’t really blame him. He hadn’t been there, not recently. He’d been caught up in the start of the season, dealing with his own break up, torn between wanting to give Bitty space or comfort him after his. It had been a hard few months for both of them. Jack figured it was time to make it better.     He grabbed Bitty’s arm and pulled him around, ignoring the guy he was dancing with as he protested. Bitty opened his mouth to tell him off, but they were both momentarily stunned as they stared at each other. Bitty was shocked to see him, but Jack was stunned yet again by just how beautiful this boy was. And he was going to have him. He was going to take matters into his own hands.     He’d rehearsed a speech in the car, but the words left his brain. He suddenly couldn’t think of anything to say. He didn’t know how to explain what he was thinking or feeling and awkwardly fumbled. Bitty watched and waited with a familiar patience. Bitty never rushed him. Bitty always knew that each word needed time and thought. But still, the words wouldn’t come. Instead, Jack dumbly held out the flower and hoped that would be enough.     It was.     As the people around them started to chant a countdown, Bitty and Jack stepped forward. No more running away. No more making excuses. No more letting opportunities pass them by. Bitty jumped on the train. Jack took control. They couldn’t help but laugh, gazing at each other like they were the only two people in the world. The clock struck twelve.     “Happy New Year, Bits.”     “Happy New Year, Jack.”     They kissed. The End Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :) thank you for the notes and the kudos and comments this year - I appreciate every single one of them. For those of you interested - Jack’s mysterious partner was intended to be Kent, but I deliberately left it ambiguous so choose your own!

This was posted for the Swawesome Santa 2018 event and gifted to Loveyoutoobits.

[shleezaemour]

Snippet to my latest smut update

“No! I’m not doing it Hazel! You can’t make me!” I was trying to escape my annoying little sister, but she was on my heels coming in hot.

“Please!! Nico please!! Just do the Rush stuff with him! It’s the first time Alpha Omega has had an open bidding. The first time they didn’t pick the bids! Anyone can rush! Frank has wanted to rush Alpha Omega since we arrived and he always gets cast aside as not good enough. This year over twenty of the members graduate so they have a lot of open spots! Please!! It’s not like you are going to want to actually join, I just need you to help him!” It was true, Franks been talking about joining the Alphas for a long time. I also know that Last year they tried to recruit me. They know I can slip in and out of places easily. I helped one of their members sneak into a liquor store and steal a few kegs once. Ever since they have been trying to get me to join.

“I’m a lone wolf Hazel, I don’t need a pack.”

“But Frank does! Please I’ll do anything!”

“Like let me use your car anytime I want? For a year?” I could see her breaking at that statement. She didn’t want to give up the new car dad had bought her.

“Get him in and I’ll sign it over to you.”

Fuck! I guess I’m pledging to Alpha Omega.

(Timebreak)

I hate my sister.

Frank and I were assigned to one of the chapter houses, it was a big frat so there were four of them. They put 5 pledges to each. I hate my sister because I’m standing next to her boyfriend in a fucking chicken costume. There is apparently some strange celebration tonight and we are stuck making the food for it. It had been this way all week, some dumb or embarrassing thing we are assigned to for the week. They apparently don’t count this as hazing. The school has a no hazing policy. What the school doesn’t know is that we are sworn to secrecy and if we break it they will come after us, apparently that happened once and the guy ended up transferring because of the hell they rained down on him.

I didn’t need a bunch of preppy Neanderthals looking into my personal life or my family, so whatever they had in mind for hazing I could take. Part of me was hoping it was like those hazing videos on pornhub... not so much luck. All week it had been cleaning the house in awful costumes. We had to hand out flyers for the mixer tonight dressed as chickens and then we will be serving the food the same way. Brother Jason was in charge of us for the week, but we really just reported to him. We still had to do the bidding of all the residents in this house. There was Brother Percy, Brother Jason, Brother Will (who seems like the nicest), Brother Leo, and Brother Pollux. All of which were dicks in their own right, but getting to know them more this week was a bit more eye opening.

Besides frank and me we had these two brothers, Conner and Travis. They seemed to love rush week. They were just as pumped to get in as Frank. There was another kid too, Austin. From what we deduced he’s related to Will in some way, so Will isn’t allowed to interact with him.

I found out that Percy had an abusive step father and works 3 jobs to put himself through school and support his mother, Jason was a foster kid that made his own way into college alone after being separated from his sister. Leo’s mom died leaving him in the foster system too, him and Jason were foster brothers and clicked up to make way to university. Pollux lost his twin brother in a school shooting and plans to lobby for gun control in the future. As much as these guys are douchbags, it seems the world made them that way. Their story wasn’t to far off from mine. Seems like we were put in the tragedy house. Maybe that’s why they wanted us, we all seemed to have a sad story. These guys were as good as they were bad, my kind of people. If I had a kind of people that is.

“If I have to peel one more egg for tonight I’m going to scream!” Frank wasn’t much of a cook, he was stuck peeling while I stirred up the deviled eggs.

“It’s only two more days dude. Percy let it slip that tonight after the party we will be given assignments. If we can complete the challenges we are in no questions asked.”

“Yeah I overheard Jason talking about it too. They are putting us in teams of two.”

“Well looks like I draw the short straw on that one.”

“Dude you know I’m making you my partner in this, I wouldn’t have survived without you.” He finished peeling the egg and began cutting them in halves.

“You want this Frank, I could care less if they take me. Partner yourself with someone who wants to join. I would go with Austin, you know the brothers will pick eachother. That dude is smart and sneaky, he will help you get the challenge done by any means necessary.” I started putting ingredients in the yellow mash under a large mixer.

(Timebreak)

After the party we were assembled into the foyer still in our chicken attire. Lined up and awaiting the next level of hell.

“Pledges! You have done well this week. All of you have survived! Other houses have lost pledged this week, only our have endured. We have four bedrooms open! Not to say that all of you won’t make it, you all very well could and two would just need to share. So don’t think that this final challenge if you complete it is as make or break. It will only be you not completing the challenge that disqualifies you from Alpha Omega.” Jason was talking formally in his brothers robes. They all were decked out in their Greek gear behind him.

“You will have two days to complete the challenge. In two days you will come back here and present your winnings. In teams of two you will go forth and receive no help except from your partner. One of you will stay behind and do the house challenge if they do choose to except it. Pick your partner!”

Frank did as I instructed and chose Austin, the still brothers of course chose eachother which left me to do the house challenge.

“Good, now Stoll Brothers. We challenge you to make 1000$ legally. Meet us back here on Monday at 11pm, well I guess that gives you three days but you will need the time. Austin and Frank, the same goes to you. 1000$, we don’t care how you do it as long as it’s legal. Sell lemonade, T-shirt’s, your labor. No asking for money from family, no borrowing from friends and none out of your own bank account. We will have spies out there to make sure this is done. If you do not have the thousand dollars bring us what you made and we shall deliberate of whether you are worthy to join the brotherhood. Keep in mind that if you have the full amount or more that it shows us that you will do well in our philanthropy department and we need people who can raise money for the chapter. It’s shows you are resourceful and determined. We already know you are loyal and disciplined, show us you can go farther than just obedience. Show us you can be a leader. 11pm Monday gentleman, that will be all.” Frank shook my hand and wished me luck. I followed the brothers into the letting room to await whatever the house challenge would be.

“Pledge Di Angelo please stand before us.” They all sat on a long couch facing me.

“You are the best one out of the bunch, you already show resourcefulness, but you seem to have a small problem with authority and submissiveness.” Said Brother Will.

“I’ve been on my own a long time, I don’t have a lot of experience working as a team.” My head was down when I answered, I won’t lie part of me got butterflies at the compliments.

“Well you have two choices Pledge. You can be sexy butler for the sorority house just next door, our sister house. Or you can be a sexy butler here.” Brother Percy spoke with a smile on his lips. This was a personal trial, they know I don’t like serving others.

“What do you mean sexy?”

“I mean this is what you will wear for the next two days.” He threw a black and white thong with a bow tie on the front of it at me.

“And you will do as your are told, regardless of the request. The only choice in the matter is this house or the girls house.” Leo’s voice sounded amused. From the looks on their faces they were waiting for me to say the girls house. Yeah, cause that’s what I want. A bunch of girls pawing at me and using me like a sex toy, little did they know I couldn’t get it up for a woman if I tried. I would have better luck here. That was the decision though wasn’t it? I could go to the girls house, fail, and get kicked out for not being able to complete the task. I could walk away from all this, get kicked out now. I’m not the type though, I don’t back away from a challenge. Even though I was doing this all for Frank part of me was doing it for me. I wanted to see if I could see it through, a personal challenge. Plus if I backed away now all the work this week was for nothing. Through the week I found the perks of being in a frat, the networking, grade breaks, discounts in over a hundred companies, loan opportunities that others don’t get. Being part of this brotherhood would only help me in the future. Plus the worst that could happen is a gang bang with all of these dudes, and that’s nothing. I’ve done worse for less. Plus that’s not even a guarantee, for all I know the worst of it could just be them grabbing at me trying to make me uncomfortable, small dick jokes (though I knew that wouldn’t happen once I put on that thong) more like big dick jokes. I might have to do a few handjobs if I was being realistic. None of these guys was bad looking, Will especially was handsome. If the worst that would happen was me getting hollowed out by five hot guys I can do that standing in my head... hmmmm that might be an interesting position honestly.

“I’ll take this house if you don’t mind brothers.”

To be continued .... here https://archiveofourown.org/works/14132883/chapters/46744054

[storyteller15]

Chapter One: The Letter

(Hi, guys! Surprised? Cinna and I made an SFW acc! Enjoy!)

 Today's the last day I'll ever be Zafrina Alban the Mage.

Just two days ago, Nanny and Bryn received a mail from the postman that's meant for me. We all knew what's in the letter, but neither of them wanted to speak about it. King Asgore and Queen Toriel are finally giving their son, Prince Asriel, his first Selection. It's a competition where the king's Heir chooses one out of thirty-five girls that are chosen from each country to enter. And because Asriel has come of age to inherit the throne, this year is the best opportunity for every girl, including monsters, to compete the Selection and win his heart.

During breakfast, I managed to finish my pancakes Nanny made for me. I looked at the yellow buttercup printed envelope closed with a gold seal stamped with the Delta Rune crest. I picked up the envelope slowly, the smell of it made my stomach growl. It smells like cinnamon, and butterscotch? What a lovely flavor combination, perhaps the king or queen loves to bake? Other than that, the envelope itself is beautiful. It's as if I've been invited to come to the Royal Ball just like Cinderella in one of my books Nanny used to read to me. As of now, it's every human and monster girls' dream to be one of the lucky thirty-five to compete in the Selection.

Of course, I was a little hesitant if I should enter.

I've always felt so discouraged about my appearance and personality. Not many suitors find timid girls attractive, especially if they're too concerned about messing up. I sighed sadly and leaned my forehead against the envelope.

"You don't have to sign the application if you don't want to," Nanny comforts me, rubbing my back. I guess she caught me staring at it for awhile. "King Asgore did say that he'll respect every girl's' decision to come or not."

I sighed, turning my head to look up at her.

"I'm still deciding, Nanny. Don't worry, I'm okay. Besides, I have a few more days to decide until then." I reassured, kissing her cheek.

A part of me wanted to enter not just to make my family's life better, but because I have a silly crush on the Prince. Very silly indeed, I thought to myself.

Every human girl knows that despite Asriel being a monster, they all still look at him as Prince Charming. But under his prince title, I see a docile and loving boy who loves his family and friends so much. Bryn finds it adorable that I have a crush on Asriel, she believes that one day I’ll marry him and live happily ever after.

"Alright, dear, it's time for me to leave for work. And it's time for you to head to school." Nanny says, bringing my attention back to reality.

Oh! I forgot that It's already five minutes past seven-thirty, and I need to get to school! I tucked my letter inside my cross-body lavender bag, putting on my black converse shoes. I follow Nanny out the front door before she closes it. Bryn is usually the one to get up early before me and Nanny—her college classes starts at six. So, I'm always the last one to leave the house.

"Have a good day at school, dear! Don't think about the letter too much, okay?" She smiles before hugs me.

I return the hug and waved her goodbye as she heads off to the opposite direction from where I'm going. I let out a stressed sigh. I'm honestly not looking forward to hear every girl in school to have the Selection as the topic today. Especially if Felicity Jones will brag about how confident she'll be once she turns in her submission. Don't overthink, I thought to myself. I must stay determined and get through the day.

Just my luck, I expected at least half of my class to talk about something else other than the selection. It's now the whole school. This morning in Geometry, I heard a few girls, sitting two rows behind me whispering on how excited they are to get their mail from the postman. In Photography, a monster bunny and a monster dog wouldn't stop beaming about how handsome Prince Asriel is. And here I am now, eating lunch in the cafeteria sulking about how many times I had to hear those two topics swimming around my brain.

"Relax, Zefie, you're not the only one that's tired of hearing about you-know-what." I looked up and found Bethany taking her seat next to mine. I groaned and slammed my head against the table.

"No one will shut up about it." She chuckles and pats my head.

Bethany is my only best friend to ever know me so well. We met in kindergarten when Felicity and her friends were picking on me for being wimpy. She stood up against them and saved me. From there, we've become very close. Today she has her long strawberry blonde up in a high ponytail, complimenting her cyan green eyes and fair beige skin. Bethany's the type of girl that loves to wear t-shirts and jeans with running shoes. She's energetic and laid-back, never the judgmental type. But when it comes to Felicity, her anger is intimidatingly ominous.

"Zef, you and I both know that we're not cut out for this prissy event. But you're definitely eligible enough to enter.” She says, leaning her arm against mine.

I raised my head back up and looked her as if she grew two heads. "B-but I haven't even signed my submission yet! And besides, I don't think Asriel would want his future bride to be timid and clumsy."

"You are more than correct, little miss shy mage." My breathing stopped.

Bethany and I looked to the right, finding Felicity Jones and four of her friends behind her giving us a cold sneer. Felicity is known as the most popular girl in school. Despite her being the daughter of the Mayor of our town, she is nothing but a vicious, spoiled brat that wants everything. With her shimmery icy blue eyes and natural tanned skin, she is nothing but exquisitely perfect to any guy who finds her attractive.

"This conversation isn't for you to intrude, Jones. Why don't you and your followers go waste someone else's time instead of ours?" Bethany growls, balling her hand into a tight fist. Bethany grimaced, she isn't going to deal with Felicity's shenanigans today.

Felicity presses her heart shaped lips in a tight line, but smirks instead. She and Bethany are like cats and dogs. It honestly tires me out to where I’m emotionally exhausted.

"No need to be so rash, Winchester, I'm only agreeing with what Zafrina just said about herself. Which is why, I believe Prince Asriel will choose me to become his bride." Felicity boasts as I looked to the side to avoid her vicious smile.

She lets out a haughty satisfied laugh and flipped her pure diamond blonde hair to the side. "Oh, Zafrina, you're so cute when you look so shy. But don't worry, I didn't come to see you both for nothing."

She reaches into her pink leather handbag and pulled out two orange envelopes and placed them on the table before us.

"Every girl in school is invited to my party I'm throwing. We're all going to watch the news live when Mettaton broadcasts the names of the Selected with the royal family present." She beams proudly.

I squinted at her offer, I guess that’s at the least the kindest thing felicity’s ever done for everyone when she’s not too busy swiping credit cards to pamper herself.

"And because I am feeling confident that I'll be picked, I’m feeling generous enough to invite the two of you, too." She continues as Bethany raised an eyebrow at her and looked down at our invitations.

I changed my mind. I wasn’t looking forward to it. This isn't kind at all, this is her meanest way to rub her victory on every girl in town that didn’t get picked. Felicity sighs, fanning herself with her hand.

"Well, I'm off to go deliver more invitations, no time to waste! Ta-ta, darlings~!"

A wicked smile spread across Felicity's face as she straightens her posture and walks away. We hear her white high-heels click against the tiled floors, before her friends followed after. Bethany curses under her breath and slams her fists against our invitations, making me jump.

"She acts like she's already the queen of the Country!" She lowers her head to cool her anger off. “Why can’t that bitch just be normal for once and be like her sweet mother?”

I sighed softly. Well, at least she has a mother. Bethany seemed to have noticed how crestfallen I looked.

“Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to—” She paused and looked to the side.

“It’s okay!” I reassured her, trying not to make her feel bad. “I was just thinking about something.”

“Zef, I know you’re thinking about your biological parents; I’m sorry but they messed up big time and they don’t deserve to be called your parents.” She spat out, feeling her anger boil up again.

She’s right though, they made a huge mistake. When we started being friends, Bethany asked me if Nanny is my mom. And that was when I told her the sad truth about myself. I was an orphan.

Ever since I was a baby, my biological parents abandoned me.

Nanny had no idea why they did, but she used to be their maid and quit that day to raise me as her own. She even adopted Bryn when I was ten. So, it's just her and Nanny whom I considered family even though we're not blood related. According to Nanny, my real family is famous for being related to one of the seven powerful mages that sealed the monsters away under Mount Ebott. Which explained why I was born with powerful magic. It was a good thing Nanny taught me how to control my magic properly.

The truth is, Nanny’s not human. She’s actually a monster, a Selkie. Which means, she can transform into a seal monster when she swims in the ocean, and a human in dry land. It turns out, Nanny was the one who introduced Asgore to Toriel. She’s been best friends with both of them when they were kids, even before they became king and queen. And because of how much they love her, they gave Nanny a job to be their head maid and their castle steward. However, all of that went down when the humans decided to wage a war against the monsters.

Asgore helped Nanny escape, because she can disguise herself as a human and live the life she desired to have. With a broken heart, she watched all of her kind died, and her friends sealed underground. But all of that ended after Princess Frisk broke the barrier that held all the monsters prisoner. And since then, Nanny was able to speak to Asgore and Toriel again, but they never have the time to see each other personally—their royal duties were far too important to dismiss. So, Asgore and Toriel write letters to Nanny to stay in touch.

No one knows about Nanny’s identity, or who she really is to Asgore and Toriel. And it was best to keep it that way. I quickly check on my iPhone 5s. We have exactly ten minutes before lunch is over. Just then, I hear Felicity and her friends walk by as they chat on about the Selection.

“I wouldn’t boast about getting into the competition easily if I were her,” Bethany finally speaks after cooling down. “The last thing the king and queen needs is a helpless spoiled brat competing against other human mages and monsters. Hell, she’d be squished before she could finish talking about how pretty she is.”

Suddenly, Bethany and I snickered and placed our hands over our mouth. I would pay 50,000 Gold just to see that happen, but I’m a nice person.

I've been raised to have an open mind, to never judge anyone by their looks until you get to know them. And I'm certainly keeping my mind open for the price of becoming the Selected. There have been recent attacks from the demons terrorizing and killing people in the city, and the Palace itself. And not only the kingdom needs a new princess, they need a future queen willing to sacrifice her life to fight for every creature, which adds the pressure to normal human girls that wants to enter just for Prince Asriel's heart or the crown; humans like Felicity in particular.

I looked down at my bag—where my letter was tucked safely. I balled my fingers into a fist, I’m so tired of being scared. I want to help make our country stronger and better. I want to use my magic to fight off the demon army and help Asriel bring peace again. If I can believe in myself, I know I can achieve them all if I just stay determined.

"Bethany? I think it's time for me to stop being afraid and go after what I want." I gave her a stern look and pulled out the envelope that holds the submission to get into the Selection.

She gasps and smirks at me, ruffling my hair around.

"I knew you’d come around. Now punch that brat on the face like a boss and fill up that submission!"

Bethany holds her fist high up at me to show how much she supports me. She pulls her backpack open, rummaging through her stuff until she finally pulls out a pen for me to use. I gladly take it from her and looked at the sweet-scented envelope.

I took a few deep breaths and ripped the envelope open.

[cappuccinosweets]

HAN-SOME STRANGER

Title: Han-some Stranger 

Warnings: none

Pairing: Jumin x College Student!MC

Description: After a stressful day, Jumin decides to surprise MC.

READ MORE OF MY WORKS HERE (X)

For what seemed like the nth time that afternoon you looked up from your computer and glanced at the man sitting about 3 tables away from you. There was nothing strange or out of place with the way he sat or even interacted with the staff in the cafe. However, his sheer presence alone was enough to draw attention from everyone around him.

 The man wore casual clothes, simple but hinting designer origins. His black hair was in a careful disarray, styled to emphasize his sharp features and equally dark eyes. He had been casually sipping at his coffee, and for the last five minutes had been preoccupied with his phone. 

Then out of nowhere, he looked up and your heart almost leapt up your throat--he smiled. 

Shaking out your initial embarrassment you smiled back. Jumin Han chuckled to himself. It was as if he could hear your frantic heartbeat from his side of the room (which could be possible with the way it was hammering against your chest). He turned his attention back to his phone and you thought back to how you got into this situation. 

You and your classmates had planned to meet up together in a local cafe to finish up your report. The deadline had been looming over your heads but what with exams and other requirements you had put off this particular project until the last minute--err rather, last 24 hours before the submission. 

As a fourth year student just a few months away from graduation you were exhausted. The pressure and fatigue from all the schoolwork you were doing was bearing down on you like a concrete wall. Still, you managed to be optimistic and energetic and encouragements from all the RFA members had helped you remain sane throughout most of the duration.

Supposedly you and your groupmates were to meet at 8 am. You arrived a few minutes earlier and expected them to follow. A text from them informed you that they were going to be a few minutes late so you decided to kill some time and log into the RFA chatroom. 

Everyone immediately flooded you with greetings. Yoosung, sending his sympathies and extending his own worries about his finals. Zen, reminding you to eat properly to which Jaehee fervently agreed to and Seven wondering out loud if he could use the anxiety of college students to power his computer. You were a little disappointed to see that Jumin wasn’t online. It had been a while since the two of you had talked properly. Afterall, he was equally busy with his work. Jumin being him, was understanding about the whole situation and supported you in his own way. He gave brief encouragements, lectures about not skipping meals and the occasional sweet confession that he had missed you. For you missing him was an understatement but you couldn’t exactly say that. It was selfish.

 Shaking away the aching feeling that wrung your chest you typed back a short thank you for all the other members’ concerns. You took a selfie with the empty coffee shop as the backdrop with the caption. Still waiting for my groupmates to arrive :(

Zen sent an angry emoji. 

How inconsiderate of them to make you wait! If I wasn’t busy I would run right there and wait with you. 

You don’t need to do that, you replied, they’re just a little late. I don’t mind waiting for a bit. The coffee shop is really peaceful and quaint.

Plus, Yoosung inserted, I don’t think Jumin would appreciate it if you were alone with MC.

True, Jaehee agreed, he’s become quite fond of MC these days. 

Then maybe MC should ask Jumin to stay with her! Seven chimed in. 

For a brief moment the idea made your heart flutter with excitement. You and Jumin alone in the coffee shop eating starwberry cheesecake and talking all afternoon. What a dream that would be...

I think that’s too much... Jaehee replied trampling on your fantasy, Mr. Han is quite the busy now-a-days. I don’t think he has the time to indulge MC.

Jaehee, that was too harsh... Yoosung typed and you wanted to agree but Jaehee was right. There wasn’t really any time for things like that to happen. 

Don’t worry about it Yoosung... you typed, Jaehee is right, Jumin doesn’t have time for silly requests like that. Listen, I think I just saw my friend enter the cafe. I gotta go, bye!

You didn’t wait for any of them to reply. You just exited the chatroom and stuffed your phone inside your pocket. Your groupmates did arrive and after apologising profusely the three of you went on to work with your assigned tasks. It wasn’t really that difficult just long and time-consuming. Enough to occupy most of your thoughts and disappointment from what Jaehee said earlier. 

All this time you had barely talked to your groupmates. Just the occasional questions and brief encouragements. By the sixth hour your head was aching so much and your back was killing you. The sun outside was setting bathing everything in a soft orange glow. That was when the front door to the cafe chimed, calling your attention. 

At first your brain couldn’t process what you were seeing. Different snapshots came into perspective--first the dark hair, then the tall frame,-- until the whole person came into view and you realized that Jumin Han had just entered the building. 

Everyone seemed to have the same reaction as you, dumbfounded at the sudden arrival of this gorgeous excuse of a man. He was out of his usual suit and in a more casual jeans and and dark sweater. That didn’t make him any less attractive. 

Jumin took his time, calmly surveying the room until he caught sight of you. Automatically his features morphed into a kind smile. He started walking and you were flustered because for a minute you thought that he was going to go to your table and sit with you and your group. Instead he stopped a few tables away. He sat down, called for a waiter and ordered himself a drink. 

 Still trying to process what had just happened you stared blankly at Jumin. As if somehow he could give an explanation from the other side of the room. Then, as if right on cue, your phone buzzed on your lap. It was a message from Jumin. 

Are you almost done? I came to pick you up. 

You stared at your screen, unable to respond. So much has happened in a quick span of time that your emotions were all over the place. 

How did you know I was here?

You sent a picture on the messenger, Jumin replied, You looked very cute by the way The name of the cafe was in the background. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come to your side as Zen had put it. I was indeed busy that morning but I wanted to make it up to you at least. Did I come at a bad time? I seem to be distracting you from your work. 

You looked up to see him smirking down his phone. It seemed like he wasn’t that sorry at all. 

“Is everything alright? That guy is really cute, huh?” your groupmate suddenly asked, making you jump at your seat. 

“Y-yeah,” you grinned sheepishly, “Hey, we’re almost done here right?”

“Yup,” she replied happily, “once you’ve finished just send your part to me. I can compile them together into one document then we can leave.”

“Alright,” your voice barely came out. Gingerly you sent a quick reply to Jumin, telling him that you will be done in a few minutes. 

It was hard enough to concentrate knowing that Jumin was just few feet away from you but you had diligently attended to your work, albeit stealing a few glances at your boyfriend. Your fingers trembled as you typed on your computer. They didn’t stop shaking when you finally sent your draft to your friends. 

“I’m gonna go ahead,” you told them.

 You wanted nothing more than to run into Jumin’s arms and just have him catch you in the middle of the room but you kept your cool. Politely waiting for your friends to say good-bye before finally heading to Jumin’s table. 

He stood up and you swore everyone’s jaws dropped when he extended his hand to reach for yours. Usually you would be bashful at these kinds of things but you paid them no mind.

You were so tired. You hadn’t realized the gravity of it until you felt Jumin’s warm hand wrapped around yours. It was comfortable and it made you feel safe. You suspected that if he had hugged you then you would feel even better. All you wanted to do was to collapse in Jumin’s embrace and just let the world dissolve around the two of you. 

“Thank you for waiting for me,” you told him as the two of you went out the cafe, hands still intertwined together. 

“Did I surprise you?” he asked.

“Yes,” you admitted leaning on to him a little more, “but in a good way. Which reminds me. I thought you were busy today.”

“I was,” Jumin confessed and you worried that he might have done something to curtail his work, “I didn’t log in the messenger until later today. I saw how stressed and a little upset you were. Zen, even pointed it out on several instances.” 

Jumin snorted surprising you, “As if I couldn’t see that.”

You giggled at him but stopped short when he gave you a pointed look. 

“I know, I’m probably not the best at all this but I do care about you. I hope you don’t think that I take you for granted whenever I’m busy with work.”

“I know that,” you bumped his hip against him playfully, “I was just... a little lonely I guess. Doing all this schoolwork day-in and day-out just burned me out.”

Jumin nodded to himself, “That’s why I came here after work. I once saw on a TV drama that girls like it when their boyfriends pick them up after a stressful day.”

He glanced down at your blushing face and grinned, “I guess it’s true.”

You wrinkled your nose at him and he laughed. Jumin gently spun you around to him, his hands on either side of your face. 

“It’s amazing how happy you become when I only do so little.”

Your brows automatically knit together at his words, “You went out of your way to pick me up, when we know for a fact that you’re crazy busy.”

Jumin chuckled softly, “I am not crazy busy.”

You narrowed your eyes and he shrugged. 

“Even if I am, I promised you that were gonna have a normal relationship. Going on dates, picking you up and supporting everything you love. I know this is not what you had in mind but once you’re done with your finals--once you’ve rested, we can do all those things and more. For now I just want you to focus on school and let me take care of you.”

“Alright,” you murmured awed at his sweetness. 

“Good,” Jumin smiled, dropping his hands to hold on to yours once again. 

[universetwo]

[Monday to Saturday] Chapter 1. - Wonwoo Needs to Fall in Love

Warmup Post ✧ Masterlist 

"She walks into the room, she looks at him, and says, I regret dating all of those guys before you, I regret making fun of you when you were just a simple nerd playing games for hours at one sitting, now I realize you are the only one I love. Then he stands up, slowly walks to her and says, You only love me now because you figured out my father is a CEO, you only love me for my money! He shouts then he walks out from the room and slams the door!"

Everyone in the room, including me, is silently blinking and processing what just happened. Seungcheol hyung is standing passionately on the couch while holding my script up high.

"Hyung, I think that's a terrible idea. We are not going to win this competition with such a cliché storyline," says Jihoon with his arms crossed, which makes Seungcheol hyung get off the couch with a deep sigh.

"You are such a party pooper. People love drama scenarios, we should do something similar," he still pushes and Jihoon rolls his eyes.

"But we are not doing this for average people! A strict professional film community will judge every submission so we have to come up with something more creative," adds Jihoon and he grabs my script and looks through it again.

"I quite like what Wonwoo wrote… I think that's pretty exciting and they might like it," shrugs Soonyoung and I shake his hand.

"Fine, but there is some stuff where you should add more emotions," Seungcheol hyung says as he turns towards me and he pats my shoulder.

"Yes, sir."

We started to work on this movie project back in January when we were all on winter break. Even if we could have gone home to spend some time with our families, most of us stayed on the campus to take some extra classes or continue our part-time jobs.

I was passing by the film lab while I was sorting out some documents for the film department, just to earn some money, and I saw this flier with a competition on it. It said, make a short movie, maximum twenty minutes, of an original story and you can win up to ₩5,000,000 for each crew member and a trip to France for the International Young Adult Film Makers Festival.

We never thought about making a movie but this seemed like a great opportunity. In our group, many of us are talented in multiple fields. We have Seungcheol hyung who likes to be in charge of things, we have Mingyu and Minghao who are good with designs and know how to work a camera, we have actors like Seungkwan, Seokmin, Chan, and Junhui, then Hansol who is good at editing, and last but not least our Jihoonie who is good at everything related to sound and music and he is also serious about these kinds of projects. But I'm also here who is sort of good at writing stories, at least that's what my minor is. And with all honesty, now at the beginning of the project, I have the most pressure on me.

"There are some parts that need to be stronger in the dialogue," says Jihoon as he is holding a red pen in his right hand and starts drawing lines around some parts of the script. After most of the guys left, some of stayed behind in our dorm room to go over the script. Jihoon and I were sitting at the table next to each other. He was really focused on looking over the script all over again and trying to give me good feedback and advice.

"Yes, I agree… but the thing is, you all want some romance in the story but I'm not good with it," I say while I'm looking down on my hands, ignoring his eyes that filled with confusion. I feel a bit embarrassed.

"Then go and fall in love," laughs Mingyu who is leaning back on the kitchen counter.

"As if it would be that easy. None of us are good in relationships," defends Soonyoung and he is right in a way.

"Speak for yourself hyung," retorts Chan and he raises his hand to show off his promise ring which we all know so well by now. That cocky smile of his cannot be erased. It's annoying that the maknae among us had a girlfriend in college before any of us. I mean, we have three guys who are seniors but they never dated in the past four years.

"Okay, you don't have to remind us how miserably lonely we are," sighs Mingyu and he walks away while shaking his head.

"Why doesn't Chan write the story then or at least the romance dialogues?" I ask and Jihoon starts to laugh.

"Have you ever seen his writing? This kid can only write business reports for his classes and other than that I heard him talk to his girlfriend and I thought he is talking to his mom," laughs Jihoon and I look over to Chan to see his reaction. He is about to blow up.

"Jihoon hyung! Why do you have to be so mean?" He whines then he stands up from the table and walks away. Now I'm only left with Soonyoung and Jihoon. Everyone else left.

"Okay, here is the plan. You get one week to look over it, watch as many romantic movies as you can, even the most cringy ones. Write over the dialogues and then it is ready. I think plot-wise it's pretty good," compliments Jihoon and I thank him with a nod. Soonyoung, who has been sitting in the armchair slowly stands up and walks over to us. He puts his hands on the table and leans over with a serious face.

"Not to ruin the mood, but I think even after watching ten million romantic movies, emotionless Wonwoo will not be able to write any sweet cheesy love dialogues. He is just incapable of human emotions," teases Soonyoung while holding his poker face. I pick up my pen and throw it at him.

"Just because you haven't seen me cry in front of all of you that doesn't mean I don't have emotions," I say with a sharp voice and Soonyoung shakes his head.

"It's not about crying though but have you ever been in love?" He suddenly asks and I gulp. 

"I don't know…"

"You see Jihoon, a writer should have experience in life. I think Wonwoo is good at writing crime stories and such but when it comes to emotions…"

"Okay cut it out, I trust Wonwoo," sighs Jihoon as he interrupts Soonyoung and he firmly closes the script. 

"Besides, you said I can write crime stories well, but I have never been a detective before," I shrug. 

"We just don't know that. Every night you disappear from seven until ten. What are you doing then?"

"I'm in the library damn it! I work there and I study there."

"We don't have witnesses to that," shrugs Soonyoung and he makes me want to hit him.

"Okay Soonyoung I think you should leave, I still have things to talk about with Wonwoo…"

"I live here for god's sake!" Soonyoung shouts then he takes out some milk from the fridge and disappears into his room.

"He is like this with me because I always annoy him so now he feels good that he can do the same with me," I sigh and I take the script from Jihoon to look over his notes.

The sun is slowly setting and we are getting closer to seven. I have to leave soon.

"Do you think it will work out?"

Jihoon looks down at the table and sighs. He thinks for a few seconds and then raises his head to look at me.

"I don't know… I can't predict it. It's all new for me too. It's not like producing songs, this is more complicated," he says and I nod. Although it's quite funny how easy song producing is for him, but I agree that this project seems to be more challenging than we thought it would be. We have been working on it for more than a month now… and we have until June to finish up everything. It should sound long but when we think about the whole process, those months will go by too quickly. But in our dictionary the words 'give up' don't exist.

"I have a present for you, though…" says Jihoon and puts a set of keys on the table. "I figured it would be good for you to watch some movies on the big screen. I have a high school friend who works at the local cinema and I borrowed this key from him. Every night you can go in the cinema, go to the screening room #10, they barely use that one, and on the computer, they have a selection of movies and then the whole room is yours," says cheerfully Jihoon and I just can't believe all the connections he has. I take the keys in my hand and I’m speechless for a second. 

“So I should just go into the room and watch some romance movies?” 

“I guess that might help...” He shrugs then he suddenly stands up. “I should leave now, you have to go to work soon.” 

Every night at the library is the same. The building is located in the middle of the campus. It’s five floors tall and filled with thousands of books. They are mostly scholarly books for studying and research but there is a section on the fifth floor that is for recently published fictional books and classic literature. I spent most of my time there when I was a freshman, sometimes even fell asleep there. That’s when the main librarian offered me to work there. 

The job itself is easy. I have to help students find books either on the shelves as a physical copy or online in the university’s database. Then I have to organize the books that are dropped down at the main desk after the loan time is over. And when I’m done with all of these I either study or borrow a book from the fifth floor and read for fun. 

But these days I spend most of my free time even at my job by working on the script. I have fifty pages so far and I feel that I’m close to the end, but the others keep find problems with the dialogues. I don’t know what can be the problem because I read a lot of books that have romance in it... but it’s just not working out for me. 

Tonight I’m thinking about the boys’ words. I have to fall in love in order to be able to write more emotion filled conversations between two characters. As if that would be so easy... I’m good at writing deep, meaningful words and interesting scenarios but when it comes to emotions, I get stuck. 

“Wonwoo, what are you thinking about?” A sudden voice stops me from my chain of thoughts. I look up from the blank paper I have been staring at for minutes to see my boss standing by the desk. I quickly stand up and bow to greet her. 

“Sorry, I was just thinking about the script, you know the one I told you about,” I say with a weak voice and she smiles warmly at me. She takes the paper but there is a sudden disappointment in her eyes when she sees it’s completely blank. 

“Oh, but you haven’t written anything yet,” she observes and then she puts back down the paper. 

“It’s not going so well...” I confess then I sink back in my chair with a deep sigh. 

“I understand it but please try to continue your work without a problem,” she says then she points at the stack of unorganized books that are waiting for me. I say sorry and as she leaves I get up from the desk. I put all the books in the small cart that helps me push these heavy research materials back to their right spot. 

As I’m going through different aisles, I feel something is not right. I keep hearing crying noises but the problem with that the sound is just too familiar. I try to look for the source of the sound and follow it. That’s when I see Junhui hiding away in one of the small study rooms. The lights are off but I can recognize him by the way he sits and lowers down his head on the table. I have seen him like this a couple of times... 

“Hey, what’s going on?” I ask him which makes him jump a little. I leave the cart behind and I go towards the tiny windowless room. In fact, there is not even a door on it. It’s really just for people to feel a bit more secluded when they want to get ready for the exams. 

“Ah, Wonwoo. I’m just- I’m,” he is trying to look for the right words but they don’t come out well. I sit down on a chair next to him and pat his back a little. Around him, there are some Chinese textbooks laid out on the table. He was tutoring again. 

“Did someone insult you again?” I ask, feeling my head starting to boil. Junhui silently nods and wipes away his tears. Usually, the others don’t really know when something like this happens. The only reason why Junhui shares his concerns with me because not once I found him like this in the library. “Those bastards. I told you, you should tell Seungcheol and he will beat them up for you.” 

“I don’t want anyone to get beaten up because of me,” He says and closes all the books and shoves them in his backpack. “I’m fine. I can take it. I’m just a bit more sensitive because I haven’t seen my family for almost a year,” Junhui hurridly stands up and leaves the room. I want to say something to him, but the right words don’t come out. Again... those damn emotions. 

When I turn on the lights to see if there is any trash in the room that should be taken out, I see a piece of paper lying on the floor. There is Korean and Chinese writing on it. The Chinese one I can’t understand but the Korean one is pretty clear, “Stupid Communist”. 

I feel even more down after this situation. I finish packing the books back to the shelves and then my shift is finally over. I’m ready to head back to the dorm but when I want to put my phone in my jeans pocket, that’s when I find the keys that Jihoon gave me. I decide to visit the cinema even though I feel like just going home and playing some games until I fall asleep. 

It takes me fifteen minutes from the campus to get to the local cinema. For my luck, it starts to rain and the cold wind doesn’t make the situation any better. I finally reach the cinema but I have no idea where I should go in. I send a short text to Jihoon and I’m worried what if he is in his studio. Because if so, then there is no way he would answer his phone. But fortunately, he texts me back after three minutes. 

“Look for the back door” says the text message. The building itself is not so modern compared to the buildings around it. It seems pretty old and it’s hard to imagine that there are at least ten screening rooms inside. I go around the building and at the back, there is a little grass filled yard where they have huge trashcans and some garbage caught up in the bushes. I find the door and try one of the keys inside the hole. After a few tries, one of them finally works. I open the door and find myself in a dark hallway. I decide to not turn on any lights, just the flashlight on my phone. I don’t want anyone to find me there. 

I pass by a couple of doors but none of them are labeled as screening rooms. Just a bunch of staff rooms and empty rooms with traces of popcorn on the carpet floor. The whole atmosphere feels like as if it has been so long since any human entered this building. But when I hear some muffled voices from upstairs and even farther a movie is playing, the building feels less abandoned. 

I’m close to giving up the search when I notice a bigger and fancier double door. Above the frame, there is a small plate placed on the wall that says Screening Room #10. I slowly take out the keys to not make any sounds and the first key I try opens the door right away. 

Inside it’s pitch black dark and smells moldy. I put up my phone high to light up the room. It looks like an ordinary cinema room with about fifteen aisles and a huge screen at the front. I guess to put in some movies, I have to go up the stairs and get into the back room. 

I trip a few times before I get up then I try the keys again. Next time for sure I should label which one of them opens which door to make my journey easier. When the door klicks open, that’s when I notice a person standing behind the computer. I realize it’s a girl and she has headphones on. Her back is to me so I don’t know what to do. I should run or I could talk to her... but then she would ask me why I’m here. 

As I’m thinking about what should I do next, suddenly the screen lights up and the typical Fox Searchlight Pictures intro starts following other company intros. I’m still frozen in the door but when the girl starts to move, I suddenly jump to the upper seat and down in the aisle. I shuffle back while I’m crouching so she won’t notice me. I don’t know where I could find an escape route other than the one I came in. So I just stay low between the seats. 

For my luck, when she comes out from the room, she sits down only a few seats from my hiding spot. If she would look to her right, she would immediately see my stupid-self crouching down, looking scared as hell like a creepy cockroach. But she is entirely focused on the movie. I don’t know what movie is it. I can’t make it out from the beginning. 

I try to observe the girl if I know her or not. She seems like she is around my age. She is wearing a light colored sweater, perhaps yellow, it’s hard to make it out from my position. She is wearing a denim skirt and black tights with sneakers. I can’t really see her face but I can tell she is wearing glasses. Her hair doesn’t seem so dark colored, probably dyed to some lighter shade. 

The movie starts very quietly but then suddenly a woman speaks up in English, which makes me jump. The girl still doesn’t notice me. The woman in the movie keeps talking and I make it out that her accent is more British than American. After a while, I guess the scene changes, and children are singing. It kind of creeps me out, especially because I don’t see what’s going on. My legs are starting to go numb and I really don’t know what to do. 

When the children stop singing suddenly my phone starts to ring. This brings an end to my hideaway spot. As soon as I try to decline Soonyoung’s call the girl stands up with a slight scream. 

“Who the hell are you?” She shouts at me over the dialogue in the movie. I finally stand up, feeling my back bones crack a little. 

“I can explain, just give me a second,” I say and I start to go closer to her so I don’t have to shout over the movie but she is keeping her distance. 

“Don’t come closer, you creeper!” She shouts again then she runs into the back room. I try to go after her but she closes the door on me. The door has a glass window so I get the chance to look into her eyes. I can see she is scared and I feel so pathetic. But I can also see some kind of realization in her eyes. Does she know me? 

“You!” She mouths. “How did you get in here?” She asks as she opens the door. In the back, I can hear children talking and playing in the movie. 

“I got these keys from my friend,” I raise them up so she can see them. 

“From what friend?”

“Someone...” 

“Come on, I need to know!” She yells and I shake a little. She is a bit more fierce than I thought she would be. 

“Lee Jihoon,” I answer quickly and she looks confused again. 

“Why would he have keys to the screening room?” She asks but this sounds more like a question to herself, not to me. 

“I don’t know, he said he has a friend in here and he said people don’t really use this room so I can come and watch any movies. I didn’t expect anyone to be here,” I confess and the girl sighs. 

“Listen here Jeon Wonwoo, this is my place here, okay? I come here every second day for various reasons. I don’t why your friend Lee Jihoon or his friend think no one is using the screening room. I am using it! So please leave now,” she says with a firm voice and I feel like I don’t have another choice. I start to slowly walk away and while I can, I take a look at the screen. It is really a movie I haven’t seen before but I can’t really make it out if I know anyone in it. 

“By the way, how do you know my name?” I ask her but she is not behind me anymore. She closed the door and went back to the computer. I can see her rewinding the movie to watch what she missed. I decide to not bother her because I don’t want to get into trouble, so I just leave. 

When I get back to our dorm room, I find Mingyu in our kitchen while Jihoon is sitting on the counter. Junhui and Joshua’s room door is closed so I assume they might be sleeping already. I can hear Soonyoung singing in the bathroom so he is home too. I wonder why did he call me. 

“You are back so early,” Jihoon says as he looks at his watch. 

“I met a girl,” I sigh and I drop myself down on the couch. Both of them look at me as if I said I met with a ghost. 

“Wow hyung, that was really quick. When we told you to fall in love, I didn’t think you will take it this seriously,” says Mingyu and I don’t know if he is serious or just teasing me. 

“It’s not like that. There was a girl in the screening room. And she chased me out. Well, not literally but she told me to get lost basically,” I say while I stretch out on the couch. Jihoon looks surprised, so he didn’t know about it. 

“Okay, that’s weird. My friend said nobody uses it,” replies Jihoon and he takes out his phone. I guess he is calling his friend. 

“Do you want some ramen?” Suddenly asks Mingyu as he is standing by the couch. I look up at him and silently nod. 

“It was so weird though...” I say as I follow him into the kitchen. “The girl knew my name... it felt like she knows me and maybe even Jihoon. It’s just so weird.” 

“Well, you are not really the popular type so I wonder too why does she know you. But wait, are you sure she wasn’t just a ghost?” He asks and I roll my eyes. 

“I don’t believe in ghosts and she seemed pretty real to me.” 

“Or maybe she really was a ghost,” Jihoon suddenly says. “My friend has no idea what kind of girl you are talking about. He doesn’t know anyone who goes there. Especially not a girl...” announces Jihoon. My head is slowly starting to ache. 

“But I’m pretty sure she was real...” 

“Oh did Wonwoo get an imaginary girlfriend?” Soonyoung, with a towel wrapped around him, appears in the kitchen. Of course, he cannot miss the chance to tease me. 

“She is not my girlfriend and she is not imaginary!” I shout which makes him take a few steps back. 

“Okay, calm down Romeo. But I think it’s quite funny how no one knows about her.” 

“Wait and see... day after tomorrow I’m going to go back,” I declare even surprising myself but I try not to show it. “And you are coming with me!” I point at half-naked Soonyoung who looks at me with a puzzled expression. 

“Listen Wonwoo, I’m not really into ghost hunting,” he says while holding his hands up in protest. 

“She is real and I will prove it to all of you, but you are coming with me as another witness!” I say again and Soonyoung sighs. Mingyu and Jihoon in the background are just laughing at us. 

“But wait, why the day after tomorrow?” Soonyoung asks suddenly. I calm myself down before I answer. 

“She said she is there every other day. So she won’t be there tomorrow...” I explain and I can still see the doubt in his eyes. “Just wait and see, wait and see.” 

Chapter 2.

[suitedwestend]

Camp Leader Embarrassment

I received a request from a very creative guy who suggested a scenario I've not considered before - he wanted a guy who's gained a bit of a weight who's a summer camp leader - and here it is! Keep your submissions coming! Ben Jacobs had been best friends with Jason Lyle since they were eleven. They’d both been confident that they’d stay friends when they left high school and went to separate colleges and to ensure that happened, they both signed up to be camp leaders at the Lyle Summer Camp that Jason’s dad ran. ‘We’ll stay in touch right?’ Ben asked Jason, the weekend before they left for college. ‘Sure we will,’ Jason said with a nonchalant shrug. ‘We have camp together all next summer and it’ll be a blast.’ Ben knew he was right. He and Jason had always been tied at the hip since they’d first met. They were both average in every way; from looks to intelligence. If anything, Ben was slightly more attractive, whilst Jason was more intelligent. Ben’s first year at college when by in a haze of classes, food and parties. He’d made a few close friends and was doing well in his studies. By the time the last semester of the year had finished, Ben wasn’t sure that he really wanted do the summer camp, but his parents were adamant that the fresh air, exercise and responsibility would do him some good. If nothing else, Ben was really excited to see his best bud again and Jason was equally excited to see him. The leaders at Lyle Summer Camp were told to arrive at 11am on the first day of camp. They would be settled in and have their orientation for two days before the fifty teenagers arrived. When Ben’s dad dropped him off outside the main building, Jason ran outside to greet him. ‘Ben,’ he yelled as he pulled his best friend into a bear hug. ‘Hey Jace,’ Ben said with a grin. ‘Looks like someone enjoyed the college cafeteria,’ Jason said with a chuckle as he patted Ben’s stomach. Ben frowned slightly, but waved the comment away. ‘It looks like college agrees with you, bud. You’re stacked.’ Jason had clearly been working out during their year apart and had gone from Mr. Average to Mr Hunk. He was now toned and muscular with a new haircut that made him look like some sort of movie star. Ben had to admit that he looked great! The two of them chatted non-stop as Jason led Ben to the cabin they’d be sharing for the summer. ‘Okay, dude, your uniforms are on your bed. Get unpacked and then meet me back at the main building.’ The cabin was small, but comfortable. There were two single beds, a couple of bedside cabinets, a small wardrobe each and a tiny bathroom with a shower, sink and toilet. As Ben started unpacking, he noticed the full length mirror at the end of the beds and Jason’s comment suddenly came back to him. Ben didn’t look much different facially. He had the same untidy brown hair, the same blue eyes and strong jaw, but his body had maybe changed some. His broad shoulders now covered a frame that was a bit on the chubby side. At 5’10, the freshman 15 had definitely changed his average body to one that was a bit chunky. He didn’t have moobs, but he certainly had a bit of a gut and his once muscular thighs had chunked out a bit and his nicely rounded ass had turned into a seriously ample bubble butt. ‘I never noticed,’ Ben said as he rubbed his gut and checked out his ass in the mirror. ‘I haven’t changed that much.’ Once he was unpacked, Ben headed over to the main building and joined the other camp leaders. Ben really enjoyed getting to see the camp and learning how to lead the activities and it was great to spend time with Jason again. However, the other 3 camp leaders didn’t seem as friendly as his best friend. The other three guys were built like Jason and after stuffing his face in the cafeteria buffet, Ben was feeling more and more insecure about his body; something that the other leaders had no problem in pointing out. But, Ben refused to let it get him down. He didn’t want the body of a Greek god. He was happy being him. Who cared if he’d gotten a little chunky – it didn’t impact him so what was the big deal? However, the following morning, Ben couldn’t have been more wrong. The big deal was that both he and Jason had given the sizes for their uniforms when they’d signed up. Jason had had the foresight to get a bigger size with his muscle gain, but Ben . . . Ben was stuck with a medium shirt and 34 inch waist shorts. Ben hadn’t considered the sizes on his uniform until he woke up and finished his shower. Jason had already headed off for breakfast so Ben dropped his towel and pulled on a pair of slightly tatty Calvin Klein briefs. He grabbed the khaki coloured polo shirt and pulled it on, before glancing at the mirror with a confused expression. The shirt was snug to say the least. It hugged him like a second skin and only just covered his gut, but as soon as he stretched a little, he’d flash some skin. ‘Better keep this pulled down,’ he said with a frown. Ben grabbed the shorts and stepped into them, before pulling them up to his thighs. He struggled with the thin khaki material as he yanked them over his chunkier thighs, but his biggest problem was his ass. As he turned around and looked in the mirror, his briefs barely covered his crack and he couldn’t believe how huge his bubble butt had become. He’d always had a well-shaped ass, but now it was massive. With a lot of sweating and moaning, Ben finally got the shorts over his ass and done up, but they dug into his hips and clung tightly to his ample ass. ‘I’ll just ask Jason’s dad if they have some bigger uniforms and I’ll try and keep my shirt down. I’ll be fine.’ Ben’s optimism was quickly shattered when he met up with the other camp leaders. The comments about his uniform and the size of his butt made him feel even more self-conscious, which wasn’t helped when he yawned and put his arms above his head, flashing his belly to the others. Thankfully, Ben got to escape the other leaders as soon as the kids arrived. The camp was for boys aged 15-18, so Ben and Jason weren’t a lot older than some of the guys they were responsible for. Each leader was allocated ten of the teenagers and the first day was a simple matter of showing them to their sleeping quarters and the cafeteria, leaving them to socialise, explore and settle in. ‘When do we get to go to the lake, Ben?’ one of the guys asked as he lead them to their sleeping quarters. ‘I’ll be taking you guys down there tomorrow,’ Ben said with a smile. ‘So, I hope you’ve all remembered your swim kit.’ ‘Will you be swimming with us?’ a different guy asked. ‘Ummm sure.’ ‘Sweet, we get to see whales,’ the first guy said. The boys all laughed and Ben blushed. ‘Very funny. Now, let me show you into your sleeping cabin.’ Ben was so flustered by the whale comment that he dropped the key. He bent down to grab it and struggled to pick it up from the ground. Meanwhile, the ten guys behind him were treated to the sight of his shorts and briefs riding down half way over his huge ass, his slightly furry butt crack on full display. ‘Nice crack, Camp Leader Ben!’ ‘Yeah, put it away, fat ass!’ Ben quickly stood up, his face beet red. He tugged his shirt down and tried to pull his shorts back into place, but without success. ‘Okay, everyone pick a bed,’ Ben said as he pushed the double doors open and stepped back. The boys ran past him, which gave Ben the opportunity to tug his shorts back into place. The shorts were so snug that Ben couldn’t get his hand under the waistband to yank his briefs up, so he had to settle for pulling up the shorts over his fuzzy cheeks, leaving his briefs bunched up halfway down his butt. Once the boys were arguing over who had which bed, they had completely dropped Ben’s embarrassing plumber’s crack moment. They spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the grounds whilst Ben prepped their activities for the rest of the week. The following day, Ben woke slightly late. He grabbed his swim bag and pulled on his snug uniform before heading to breakfast. The other camp leaders were mercifully nice to him during the meal, which was a relief after his embarrassment the day before. Ben managed to see Jason’s dad and briefly asked him if they had any other uniforms. ‘Sorry, Ben, but I only order them in when I need them. Looks like you could do with a bigger size. I can order one in, but it’ll take a couple of weeks.’ Ben felt determined that a couple of weeks of activities with his group would burn the pounds off, so he waved the offer away and went to meet his group. ‘Okay, guys, we’re heading down to the lake for a swim and some games this morning. Then, we’ll be back here for lunch and you’ll have the afternoon to yourselves. Has everyone got their swim kit?’ All the boys nodded and Ben led them along the forest trail to the lake. As the boys talked and joked, Ben decided that he’d get them to go in and change and then whilst they got out the equipment, he could change in peace. After the butt crack incident, he really didn’t want to deal with anymore teasing. ‘Here we are,’ Ben said as they arrived at the edge of the huge lake was that surrounded by forest. ‘The changing block is over there, so head in and change and meet me back out here.’ The guys all ran inside and were quickly back in their board shorts. ‘Okay, the equipment shed is further down the lake. I want you guys to head down there and retrieve the boards. You’ve got five minutes.’ As soon as they started running off, Ben rushed into the changing rooms and pulled off his t-shirt. He’d put on his board shorts and flip flops and be back outside before they returned. He was never usually that conscious of his body, but after the comments about his ass and his crack the day before, he just couldn’t face them seeing him tugging down his shorts as his briefs would likely come down a bit with them. Ben opened his kit bag and pulled out his navy board shorts. He breathed in to unbutton his khaki shorts and tugged them down to his ankles before kicking them away. He looked down at his snug black briefs before pulling them off as well. He didn’t want his briefs to be bunched up under his board shorts as it would just be too uncomfortable. He grabbed his board shorts and had the same problem getting them on that he did with his shorts. He hadn’t worn them since the previous summer and he mentally kicked himself for not checking they fit before he wore them. With a lot of struggling, Ben managed to keep the Velcro fastener closed if he sucked in and quickly tied the drawstring. The shorts were like a second skin and he blushed when he saw his reflection in the mirror. His bulge was prominent, his thighs looked huge and his ass stuck out like a shelf. After a quick thought, Ben pulled his uniform t-shirt back on. There was no way that he could go out there shirtless. He just couldn’t face the comments about his squidgy, slightly furry upper body. Ben threw his shorts, briefs, socks and boots into his kit bag, pushed his feet into his flip flops and headed outside, just as the boys returned with the body boards. ‘Nice shorts, Camp Leader Ben,’ one of the guys said with a smirk. ‘Thank you,’ Ben said, ignoring the sarcasm. ‘Now, you guys are going to get in the water, have a swim and play around with the body boards. Then we’ll play a few games where you guys will need to pair up.’ As the boys played, Ben went to sit down on the edge of the lake, but after hearing a slight popping sound coming from one of the seams on his board shorts, he quickly stood up and stayed standing. After an hour, Ben set them a game after one of the guys had nipped to the toilet inside the changing block. They had to get into pairs and whilst one guy was on the body board, the other would have to swim them to the island in the middle of the lake. Then they’d switch and swim back. After Ben had laid out the rules, he asked for the spare boards to be handed to him. Ben was being careful to ensure the boards were close so that he didn’t risk falling in, but when the last board was being handed to him, the guy pulled it back ever so slightly. Ben reached forward and had to bend slightly to grab it. ‘Can you pass it here please, Matt?’ Ben asked as he straightened up. Matt tossed the board over Ben’s head so it landed on the ground with a thud. ‘That wasn’t what I asked, Matt,’ Ben scolded as he turned around to pick up the board. With all the boys watching, Ben tugged his shorts up slightly to ensure his crack would be covered before bending over to grab the board when the rear seam on his board shorts split open with a loud RRRRIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!! His huge butt cheeks were on full view and Ben’s face heated with embarrassment as he jumped up and spun around, the laughter echoing around the lake. ‘Okay okay, very funny!’ Ben said, as he tried to quieten them down. ‘Hey, Camp Leader Ben, where’s your undies? I thought we had to wear them under our board shorts.’ ‘That’s not an enforced policy. Now, I’ll go and change whilst you guys swim for a bit. We’ll pick up the game when I’m back.’ ‘Okay, Camp Leader Ben,’ Matt said with a grin. Ben did his best to walk backwards, his hands clutching the loose material of his board shorts as he tried to cover up his huge butt, but as he walked backwards, he hit the changing room block and the surprise made him jump. His hands automatically tugged and he pulled open the front of his board shorts with another loud RRRIIIPPPPP, his cock and balls flopping into view, which made the boys roar with laughter. ‘Looks like Camp Leader Ben has a semi!’ Ben turned tail and ran into the changing block, his butt bouncing to the heightened amusement of the boys. Ben slammed the door behind him and took a deep breath. How the hell had that even happened? He looked down and realised that his tug on the material had just torn the seam through the crotch and up the front. He was mortified. How could he face them when they’d seen his dick? ‘I just need to get changed and head back out there. I’m the grown up!’ Ben removed his flip flops and tattered board shorts and walked along the bench, but his kit bag had gone. He looked everywhere, but it was nowhere to be seen. Grabbing a towel from the rack, he wrapped it around his waist and held it tightly in his hand. His thigh could be seen through the split where the towel didn’t quite meet, but he was at least sufficiently covered. ‘Okay, guys. Very funny. Who hid my kit bag?’ Ben said as he stepped outside the changing room block. ‘Oh, sorry Camp Leader Ben, I thought it was mine.’ ‘It was mine, Luke. Can I have it please?’ ‘Sure, come and get it,’ Luke said as he climbed out of the lake and held up the bag. Ignoring the other boys, Ben walked over to Luke and held out his hand. ‘Bag please.’ Before Ben could take the bag, someone came up behind him and without a moment of hesitation, they yanked his towel off and slapped one of his butt cheeks. The boy all roared with laughter as Ben grabbed his bag and dashed back inside the changing rooms, the laughter almost deafening. ‘I pray the other camp leaders don’t find out about this,’ Ben said, his face still bright red as he changed back into his tight uniform and wished for the day to be over. But, unfortunately for Ben, summer camp and his embarrassment was far from over . . .

[thelondonfilmschool]

INTERVIEW with Newcastle-based and one-of-a-kind filmmaker: Benjamin Bee

Writer/Director Benjamin Bee graduated from London Film School in 2015 and moved back to his home town of Newcastle Upon Tyne, where he’s continued to hone the unique brand of personal- tragi-comedy which has seen his films screened at some of the world’s biggest film festivals and attracted the likes of Mike Leigh to his Crowdfunding videos. Ben turns his own life story into art, and it’s not hard to see why – within minutes of meeting him I’d been told an anecdote involving an axe, a crazed lunatic and a carton of banana milkshake. Below is the publishable version of Ben’s take on the North-South divide, his time at LFS and what it is that makes his ‘bonkers’ stories so universal.

S.M: Can you tell me a bit about your life before applying to London Film School?

B.B: I left school in Newcastle when I was 14 without any qualifications, and then I went to an access to college course. They did photography and had an old, broken VHS video camera, and with the people that I met there we started making comedy, stupid little films. They were unscripted, and weirdly I used that to get into the University of Westminster to do Contemporary Media Practice. That was in 2002, and then at the end of that course I made a short film called The Plastic Toy Dinosaur, which was produced by Rob Watson who’s an NFTS producing grad who’s doing really well now. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, I wrote it when I was 21 and I directed it when I was 22. I moved back to Newcastle and started working in a bar, but I hated it and I was miserable and the only thing I realised I had was this short film. I didn’t know about anything, I didn’t even know Cannes or Sundance existed. 

So, I just started entering it in places that I found and one of them was the BBC3 New Filmmaker of the Year Award. There were tons of submissions and they selected it down to the last ten. It was actually a really good year – Alice Lowe had written and starred in one of them, and Sean Conway had a film as well, he writes for Ray Donavan now. It was nice because people started to screen the film and it seemed like they liked it and it resonated with audiences, but I still had no idea what I was doing and I was incredibly naïve. I mean, seriously dyslexic and had the reading and writing age of an 8-year-old. Not going to school probably didn’t help. So, I was kind of lost. I started working a theatre box office and I worked, like, 60 hours a week and tried to save money. And then I saw a Skillset bursary advertised. I’d always looked at LFS but I couldn’t afford the fees, but eventually after I’d saved some money from my job I applied and I got the bursary.

S.M: What did applying for that involve?

B.B: It’s based on previous work and it’s means tested so you basically have to be poor and talented, or at least fake them into believing that you have some form of talent (laughs). I think I had something to say, coming from a slightly different background, and all my stories are weirdly personal. You go in front of a panel and when I got called back I literally cried like a small child. And then I went to LFS! It was interesting and difficult and there were people from so many different walks of life. I learnt the craft of filmmaking – I tried to eat up everything. 

The most important thing for me was the people – you’re surrounded by people who are really passionate about film. It’s two years surrounded by people who’ll put a lot of effort in, and I met a lot of people who had a lot of fun making films that I’m really proud of. I did a film called Step Right Up when I was there, which was my Term 4 exercise. We had 36 minutes of film stock to make a nine-minute film and it was screened at 40 film festivals. We got long-listed for the BAFTA, which means we were down to the last 10 or 15, which had never been done before by a fourth term film. It was huge.

S.M: What do you think it was about that film that made it so successful?

B.B: I make comedies and they’re personal. I’ve never really struggled with getting films into festivals because I don’t try to make arduous bulls**t. It’s personal, and also I’m not the most masculine man but I know lots of masculine men who do have feelings, and everybody has a shared experience of feelings and pain so there’s nothing that makes even the most masculine, awful guy not sensitive. A lot of my films are about paternal bonds or absent father figures, because my dad left and he was an utter c***. So, I’ve got a lot of things like that, that kind of resonate. 

My new one’s about something that genuinely happened, which was when my dad left when I was five and my mum decided to take me and my brother out of school and take us to Metroland, which is a theme park in Newcastle. My brother went on the dodgems but I was too little, so I had to go on the merry-go-round. It was amazing, and I was on a big white horse going round and round. Every time I’d come round I’d see my mum just stood there in floods and floods of tears, and then I’d go past her, and I could see my brother having the best time ever. That’s an analogy for my relationships with my siblings! I think if you say things that are deeply personal then they’re always going to do much better than things that aren’t you. When I started in term one and term two, I started trying to make stuff to look more “intelligent”, and then I realised that it wasn’t making me at all happy. So, by term four I made something ridiculous and by graduation I made a film called Sebastian which was a horror comedy which was also a bit nuts.

S.M: Was it always your plan to go back to Newcastle after graduation?

B.B: The day I handed my grad film in I went for a meeting to direct a pilot taster for Baby Cow, Steve Coogan and Henry Normal’s company. I got that, and I brought Yiannis (Manolopoulos, fellow LFS student and cinematographer) in, it was written by a friend of mine, Dan Mersh, who was also in Step Right Up, Plastic Toy Dinosaur, Sebastian and Mordechai. And that was really good because I got to meet Henry Normal, who was the managing director of the company. He’d written the Royle Family, Mrs Merton, he’d produced some of my fave TV shows, including the Mighty Boosh … He loved it. but Channel 4 didn’t pick it up. Then I moved back to Newcastle, in 2015, and broke my ankle running for a train! I was in a cast for over a year. 

Then I applied to the Jewish Film Fund for my film Mordechai, I’m not actually Jewish but the film’s subject is. It’s doing really well, it’s got into Palm Springs, BFI London Film Festival, and various others. It’s about these identical twins, one of which has left the community and one of whom has stayed at home. There’s an ultra-orthodox community in Gateshead and it’s quite insular and interesting. So, I developed a story about, what if one of them had left and then had to come home for a reason? The dad dies and the other brother comes home and he has to go and pick him up. They’ve got very different life choices – one brother’s dressed in black and the other turns up wearing tie-dyed hippy shit. He’s still Jewish but in his own way. Mordechai is really happy and charming and Daniel, who stayed at home, is a bit more down-trodden and miserable. Then Mordechai drops dead and Daniel makes the decision to body swap and becomes Mordechai and goes to his own funeral. It comes out the end quite positive but it’s also quite emotional!

S.M: You work a lot with producer Maria Caruana Galizia – is she someone you met through LFS?

B.B: No, she’s from Malta. She moved to Newcastle after living in Scotland for a while (I think), and there’s very few producers here. I met her at a networking event – she liked something I’d made, I liked something she’d made and we just decided to try and apply for stuff. She’s fu***ng awesome, super talented and incredibly hardworking. Also, she puts up with me…

S.M: Do you find that being based up in Newcastle has its pros and cons?

B.B: It really does. The benefits are that you can shoot anywhere for dead cheap but crewing’s impossible because every good member of crew’s doing Vera or The Dumping Ground. There’s swings and roundabouts. It’s beautiful, and has a better quality of life but there is definitely a massive divide. All the work’s in London, all the agents are there.

S.M: Do you manage to make a living out of the work you’re doing at the moment?

B.B: I’m a very cheap human being. It’s difficult when you start out because a lot of the stuff that you’re doing, like the shorts, aren’t going to make any money unless you start winning prize money. I’m at the stage now where it’s a little bit easier because I can apply for funding for development from the BFI etc. That’s what I’m applying for at the moment. I’m doing a project with Henry Normal, a documentary on him and his poetry. I’m also just finishing Metroland and I’m really, really happy with it, but I’ve got no idea how it’s going to go down ‘cause it’s a bit mental.

S.M: How did you get Mike Leigh to appear in the crowdfunding promo?

B.B: He pops up in it, and basically the whole joke is that the film’s kind of like Weekend at Bernie’s, but imagine Weekend at Bernie’s if it was directed by Mike Leigh. You see the door open and it’s Mike Leigh going “Ben, can you stop phoning and emailing me and if you give me another copy of Weekend at Bernie’s …” (laughs). 

I sent him an email going, “Hi Mike! Creative England are insisting that I do Crowdfunding and I really don’t wanna do it, so instead of making a video in which everybody’s positive, I want to make a video where everybody’s really negative about the experience.” He said yes without questioning it for a second… When I shot the video with Mike it was me, Yiannis and Eoin Maher, who did Filmmaking at LFS as well, and Mike who was just really hilarious. It was a lot of fun. Mike’s always been incredibly kind and supportive. He’s got a really good sense of humour. It’s the thing I love about his work to be honest.

S.M: Have you found it cathartic making such personal work based on your own life?

B.B: Unless you’re very good at what you do, this is just my advice, you can hide everything but what you do has to at some point be personal and resonate. Deconstruct any movie ever, like every movie Wes Anderson ever made is basically about his father walking out on his family, even though you don’t always realise it. It’s all about masculinity. It’s that thing that all your faults are your strongest features. I definitely find it therapeutic and I definitely think you deal with stuff. Spielberg says that it’s the only job where you get paid for therapy. I think that’s a great quote because it’s true in a way. Especially if you can’t afford therapy!

S.M: What do you think was the most important thing that LFS taught you?

B.B: The main revelation was that, whenever anybody goes into anything, doesn’t matter if it’s school, college or university, everybody comes in with a competitive nature that they’re going to be the best. Being competitive with yourself and wanting to make the best work is amazing, that’s the best way to be. But anybody else, whether they’re a director or whatever, should be your friends and your peer group, people that will help you. You basically have a support network with other filmmakers. That was really helpful, because it felt like you had a cheerleading squad and you could also do it for other people and you’d be really grateful. And that’s the industry – you’re not really in competition because nobody’s going to make the same film as you. You learn that very quickly at LFS because there’s people making such different work and you can really appreciate it. Then those people can come and work and collaborate on something you’re making, and you make something different and everybody learns from each other. Definitely the international vibe really helps as well. I was one of very few Brits and that was really nice, because obviously in Newcastle it’s mostly just people from there. In my term I had Yiannis from Greece, Pauline who was French, Rodrigo who was Mexican, Habib who’s American … it was really nice. I enjoyed it. Everybody’s great! Working with happy, positive people who feel comfortable in a nice environment is what makes the best work. And I think that’s what comes from having so many passionate people at LFS. It was a life-changing opportunity.