#fives best brother ever

[tbnrpotato]

Our Own Choices

Chapter 6

Everything's blurry when I wake up. I see bright lights shining onto me, and when I turn my head to the left I see some medical droids scanning me. I try to move, but my body won't listen. I'm panicking.

Why won't my body move?

The only thing that I can move right now is my head, and that hurts about as much as the rest of my body. I look around the medbay, there's no one else here.

Echo...

I see Rex walk into the medbay, and he takes a seat beside the bed I'm in, and he grabs my hand. He doesn't make eye contact with me. 

He looks worried. Did I make him angry? 

I look up at him. "...Dad?" My voice is shaky, it's just slightly louder than a whisper.

"Hey ad'ika." Rex looks up at me. "You had me worried over there."

Please don't give me a lecture, I don't think my brain can handle this shit right now.

I think Rex can read my thoughts, because he gives me a tired smile. "I'm just glad that you're safe, kid."

"Why can't I move?" I try to move again, but it's not working. I'm not going to be like this forever, right? This is gonna go away...right?

Rex sighs. "You took a pretty bad hit back there at the Citadel, it's a miracle that you're still alive. You have some bruising on your spine that's causing temporary paralysis, according to the medical droid over there, but it'll go away eventually."

He forgot to add the "I think" at the end of the sentence.

"Where's Echo?"

Rex sighs again. "Kid...Echo's gone."

I try to raise my head up from the bed, but a sharp pain shoots through my skull and I wince, resting my head back onto the bed. Rex gives me a slightly concerned look.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU GO BACK FOR HIM?!" I raise my voice as loud as I can, which isn't very loud.

Rex looks down. "Kid, we couldn't go back for him, there was no chance of saving him."

"THEN WHY DID YOU SAVE ME? WHY ME AND NOT HIM?!"

"Kid-"

"HE'S THE ARC TROOPER NOT ME! HE'S MORE VALUABLE, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HIM?!"

"Kid, we couldn't find his body. He's completely gone."

I rest my head back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "How long was I out for?"

"4 days," Rex replies, his grip on my hand is still tight. "Medical droid's been taking out shrapnel from your body, they're almost done, but they're gonna remove the last bits in a while, okay?"

I nod. "Where's my armor?"

"It's in the barracks, don't worry about it."

"My knife?"

"You lost it during the blast, we'll get you a new one once you're healed, don't worry about it."

I fall silent, and Rex and I just stay there for a while, until Rex stands up. "They're gonna take the last bits of shrapnel outta you, I'll come back in a bit when they're done, alright ad'ika?"

I nod, smiling slightly.

"Be careful with her," Rex says to the medical droid, before leaving the medbay.

The medical droid gives me the anesthesia to knock me out before the surgery, and it feels like only seconds after that I wake up.

 For the next few months, I'm forced to stay in the medbay. Rex visits me at least once a day, if he's on a mission he usually gives me a transmission. Sometimes Fives comes along with Rex, and they both tell me stories about their missions, and the exciting stuff that happened. 

Fives also made it to the top 5000 players in Legendary rank in Call of Duty, and now I'm at a lower rank than him, which is definitely not something I like.

I can barely move my body, but I can move my fingers slightly. 

Fives and Rex are always telling me that I'll recover soon, but I've been starting to lose hope. It's already been a few months, and I almost no better than I was when I arrived at the medbay.

It's so boring in the daytime, I have nothing to do, so I just stare at the ceiling, thinking of storylines, I've made up quite a few. There's this one where I crossed over this world and Ninjago and the movie Pacific Rim, where General Skywalker and Commander Tano piloted one of the giant robots called Jaegers along with my original character and some of the other people from Ninjago that Rex told me about. I even made up names for the Jaegers. Titan Grave, Striker Phoenix, Dark Interceptor, and Challenger Rex (Named after you know who). I even made up a name for the story, it's called Cancelling the Apocalypse.

Sometimes I think about what it would be like if Echo survived, but I try not to think about it too much. Would he be in my situation, paralyzed like me? It would be nice to have someone to talk to in the medbay.

The nights aren't any more enjoyable than the day. I always get nightmares of the explosion, and I keep waking up in the middle of the night, sweating. Rex seems to have noticed this, and he says that I have dark circles under my eyes, and he always asks if I get enough sleep at night.

One time, Rex and Fives came back from a battle on Umbara, and they told me about this Jedi General who was making men die on purpose, and how they killed the Jedi. 

Rex and Fives stay with me through the night.  As usual, I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, breathing heavily. Unfortunately, Rex and Fives aren't heavy sleepers, and the moment they hear me wake up, they do the same.

Rex squeezes my hand gently. "You're okay kid, it's just a nightmare." I nod, still sweating, squeezing his hand back with the limited movement of my fingers.

A few weeks pass, and I've been able to move my limbs slightly, and I can turn my body now. I can sit up shakily in my bed, sometimes being able to slowly type out my stories on a holo-pad that Fives gave me, it takes me about a few hours to write a chapter. I tried playing Call of Duty ranked once, but my fingers can't move fast, and my team lost.

I've been discharged out of the medbay, and I'm in a wheelchair, I can't walk. Rex says that I've visibly grown thinner, I have no appetite. I don't really wear my armor anymore, I'm mostly just wearing my hoodie.

Rex has been trying to get me to walk again, but it's not working. I've managed to take a few shaky steps, and that's with my arms supporting me. My arms aren't doing any better either, I've lost so much muscle, I can barely support my own weight with them.

I keep asking Rex whether I can get back to physical training, but he keeps saying that I gotta recover fully first, which is annoying as hell.

A few more weeks pass, every day Rex or Fives or sometimes even Commander Tano try and help me to walk again, but every time, after a few steps, I fall to the ground, shaking.

I don't wear my helmet around her anymore, I trust her enough to not snitch. Not that Rex even allows me to wear my helmet anyways.

Rex comes back from Onderon in a few days, and as usual, he brings me to the training area and lets me use the wall to support myself and try to walk.

"What's the point of this?" I ask Rex as he extends a hand to help me stand. 

"Ad'ika..."

I stare blankly ahead, as usual. "We've been doing this for weeks, and I can barely take a few steps without collapsing. Not to mention, I can barely hold a gun steady, and ECHO'S GONE."

"Kid...just trust me on this, okay?"

I roll my eyes and grab his hand, helping myself up and leaning against the wall. My legs are shaking, but at least they've been shaking less for the past few days.

 If you wanna get back to the field, you better fucking be able to walk, how else are we gonna avenge Echo?

I think about this every time I try to walk. I feel the urge to kick clanker ass, I wanna make them pay for what they did to Echo. 

I manage to take the first few steps with one hand against the wall, supporting myself, like usual, and then now comes the part where my foot doesn't wanna move forward and I start feeling the resistance, it's less than usual today.

I see Rex staring at me from the side. I take a few deep breaths. 

Just get this over and done with...

I take a shaky step, closing my eyes and trying to relax. I can almost see the explosion that killed Echo and made me like this, I clench my fist, shutting my eyes tighter.

I take another shaky step, and take my hand off the wall. My legs are shaking more. 

Fuck my legs bro.

I force myself to take a few more steps, it feels like my legs are gonna give way soon, I lean against the wall, I can feel sweat running down my forehead.

I clench my fist again, and force myself to release my grip on the wall and take a few more steps. They feel lighter than the first few, and it's getting easier now, still slightly shaky.

I glance at Rex, he nods at me, and I take a few more steps, less shaky now. I speed up my steps, they're getting easier and easier, and soon I'm running around the place, feeling the wind in my hair, laughing for the first time in months.

And then I run over to Rex and hug him, and he's slightly startled and pats me on the back awkwardly, before hugging me back after a few moments.

"Thanks dad," I bury my head into his shoulder.

"Your welcome, ad'ika."

I can feel him smiling, and he hugs me tighter.

[0vergrowngraveyard]

i guess sonic didn’t initially understand mighty adopting ray at first

sonic before tails: why is there some kid following mighty around? that’s so lame and uncool and i’d never let that happen

sonic after adopting tails: i understand everything

[purpleghoul87]

Mike and Charlie enjoying life as they should

Redraw of this

[batsplat]

Is Valentino Rossi the best rider in 1vs1 battles?

ehhhhh *shrugs* I mean. the best ever? like. who knows. the best in the field most years he was competing in the sport? maybe, I guess?

this is one of those questions where I don't really like giving definitive answers but am more interested in how you'd even go about assessing it? like, what metrics are you looking at, what are the criteria, can you put numbers to it or do you have to be super holistic about it or what. I think the 1 vs 1 is already an interesting distinctions, because that is a little different from just talking about wheel to wheel skill. they're related skill sets, but it's not the exact same

so. to bring in an example with a sample set of races I imagine most people reading this are pretty familiar with. let's say we're comparing valentino and marc in direct combat with each other. let's say we put the races where they're fighting one-on-one for basically the entire race in one box, so assen 2015 and catalunya 2016. let's say we have races where one of them is working their way through the field - and it's all building towards the confrontation between the two of them, so say a qatar 2013, a qatar 2014, an argentina 2015. let's say you have a very intense fight that doesn't last the whole race, like sepang 2015, or an extended 'duel' that is basically a defensive ride without any actual overtakes, like silverstone 2015. now, you may have noticed that from this list, valentino... kinda wins a lot of these? not qatar 2014, plus sepang 2015 is in the 'this cost both riders too much to have a winner' camp, but except for that? it's a strong record for valentino. however! the moment you take away the '1 vs 1' qualifier, suddenly the record looks way kinder to marc - you have a catalunya 2014, a phillip island 2015 and a phillip island 2017 go in his favour, while only assen 2017 is a multi-rider dogfight that involves both of them where valentino ends up taking the win. I do think when you're considering 'rivalries' and how a particular dynamic develops over time, it's worth looking specifically at what's happening in extended one-on-one combat and differentiating that from dogfights! because it is a different vibe, because it matters if you're just focused on one guy. but of course both categories still matter in assessing direct combat... even if there are also different skills involved in those different types of fights. valentino, even very late in his career, was still particularly adept at challenging and outsmarting individual riders, and it's a specific format he clearly did thrive in. so. yeah. both of these general categories are indicative of w2w ability, even if they're not quite the same - either in terms of the skills required or in terms of narrative implications

here's another issue. valentino tends to win the race-deciding extended confrontations against marc, but obviously that too isn't entirely reflective of what happened when they met each other on-track. this is because during their time together in the premier class, marc was winning a lot more races than valentino and generally had more pace than valentino, so a lot of on-track confrontations that marc came on top of where typically one-and-done type situations. overtake and move on, overtake and move on. so while you still have a misano 2014 (valentino overtakes marc and marc eventually crashes while attempting to keep up) or a brno 2014 (another valentino overtake where he pulls clear), you then also have laguna 2013 (the corkscrew move is the end of that battle), le mans 2014 (a single overtake around halfway through the race after which marc easily pulls clear), indy 2014 (an early tussle that eventually becomes more marc domination), motegi 2016 (similar, except here valentino ends up crashing), thailand 2018 (valentino can't keep up the pace once marc has gotten past)... like, we get to a place where we're risking penalising marc for 'being very fast' and not sticking around once he's gotten the overtake done, which does also feel wrong? it's an odd balance - because, again, when we're talking Actual Rivalries then it does matter who is winning an extended battle, psychologically if nothing else. like if that's the bit that mattered the most to the outcome of your race, if that's the bit people will remember years to come, if you invested a lot into winning that fight, of course it does matter. but that's narrative, not skill... is this really a good way of assessing how good someone is at 1 vs 1 duels?

I picked the example of that specific rivalry not just because it's the one most people are most familiar with or because I love engaging in discourse about that rivalry - but because I think direct rivalry comparisons are probably the most straightforward way you can approach trying to figure out who is 'better'... and marc clocks in just behind casey as the one who has the most balanced record against valentino w2w. like, biaggi is basically a walkover, and honestly you don't really have that many extended 1 vs 1 duels except for welkom 2004. and for sete, obviously a great rivalry (and I've always believed you don't need a rivalry of equals for it to be good and fun), but also once you get past that sachsenring 2003 turning point then the balance does go out of the window. I've been thinking about this in relation to a longer ask I've ended up massively overthinking (surely not), but I was kinda startled looking back at just how one-sided valentino's record is against jorge. like, unless I'm forgetting some major battles, the most extended scrap you can point to that jorge won is for his very first premier class win at estoril 2008 - and that's also pretty much settled by around halfway/two thirds through the race. but the actual 1 vs 1's that last much of the race? catalunya 2009? sachsenring 2009? motegi 2010? well.... hm. races that build to a battle like sepang 2010 also go in valentino's favour, and even extended tussles like le mans 2011 and phillip island 2014 are more valentino W's. hell, even various short and sweet battles like jerez and indy 2008, misano 2009, motegi 2015, aragon 2016, sachsenring 2018 generally have valentino come out on top - though in this category there's some exceptions, like qatar 2008, indy 2009 and jerez 2010 that all involved jorge besting valentino in a short direct fight

which raises another problem... we do need to in some way acknowledge that valentino simply ends up in more of these fights than most of his rivals - and as a direct result ends up winning more of them. like, once jorge clicked into title winning form in 2010, most of his wins became 'shoot off the line and win way ahead of everyone else with metronomic consistency'. I'm not saying all his race wins were like that! and he did win some great duels in his time in the premier class, especially against marc. but of course, he did that kind of dominating races a hell of a lot more than valentino did - whose approach to winning races was more 'qualify wherever, amble off the line, get moving around halfway through the race and figure things out from there'. now, I discussed this point a little bit here in the context of 'was valentino still successfully mind gaming the other aliens' - but just to bring it back, valentino was deliberately approaching his races in ways geared primarily towards being able to fight his opponents, even to the level of how he set up his bike:

you see this most extremely with something like laguna 2008, where valentino flat out knew he didn't have the outright pace to win - his entire strategy was built around not being the fastest but being able to fuck with casey. in that situation, he's not got the speed, he's building his entire strategy for the win around wheel-to-wheel disruption. and this, plus the regularly mediocre qualifying and starts, does just mean that statistically speaking he's overtaking more riders in his average win than any of the other aliens are. like, if that's your primary metric, then yes! he's clearly very good at w2w! by extension he's also very good at 1 vs 1 duels! if you're looking at riders who have clocked in more than a certain number of wins and do the maths of average overtakes per win, then, yes, I would imagine he tops that metric. does that make him the best? ... well, again... it does feel like you're risking penalising the better qualifiers and starters for being better qualifiers and starters and not ending up in seventh place at the end of every single first lap

so, you've got 'how they measure up against their direct rivals' and 'average numbers of overtakes' as ways to begin considering w2w ability as well as 1 vs 1 track record. then you get into increasingly nebulous waters... here's another potential metric for w2w skill I quite like: efficiency in overtaking. not naming any names, but there are certain riders who, when attempting to work their way through the field, will just. get stuck. even though they have a clear pace advantage over the rider directly in front of them. leading to incredible amounts of faffing about rather than just getting the overtake done. obviously, valentino does like to engage in some faffing about too, but generally speaking he's only doing that when he's in close proximity to the race leader and can realistically get himself to the front of the pack fairly quickly. he's very efficient when he's actually working his way through the field. of course, this is something marc is similarly excellent at, as he has shown plenty of times this year... which. well. this is where we run headfirst into another problem: this sport has changed a lot over the years and some things are simply not at the same difficulty level as they were in past years. so, sticking with those two, which of these is a 'better' comeback? 2006 sachsenring, where valentino starts tenth on the grid after tyre problems in qualifying, at a track he doesn't really love and in serious championship trouble, but works his way to the front before having to fend off the chasing pack that is coming back at him all the way until the chequered flag? or 2024 sachsenring, where marc starts thirteenth on the grid after having been impeded in q1, at his speciality circuit that he's visiting for the first time on a new bike, and works his way up to p2 despite his fractured rib and finger in an era where overtaking is a lot harder than it was in 2006? well, first of all, congrats to both of them, very nicely done. but secondly, that's kind of the problem, right? while I'm sure prime valentino in this era would also regularly be doing that marc/pedro thing where they make the commentators go 'oh ho ho they said overtaking was impossible in motogp these days!!' - at the end of the day his approach involved some built-in faffing about that was also more feasible back in the day. if we're assessing w2w ability, we do need to make some kind of allowance for era - which also affects how often riders are likely to find themselves in 1 vs 1 duels in the first place

here's another plausible metric: last lap battles. this is ALSO something that is super era-dependent. casey in his whole time in the premier class gets involved in like? about four battles that are still going on in the final lap? there's definitely a few I'm forgetting, especially if they weren't for wins/podium places, but it's definitely not a lot. compare and contrast with how the 2017 to 2019 era played out. everything back then was tyre management, tyre management and more tyre management, and dovi in particular was big on the 'eh let's win this race at the slowest possible pace' thing, where everyone crawled around the track as slowly as they could get away with before pulling the pin a few laps before the end. obviously, the characteristics of that era were a) very beneficial to dovi, in that they rewarded both those who knew how to make those specific tyres work (and his decline in 2020 was largely linked to the changes in tyres) and those who were very good at managing last lap duels, but b) inherently were more likely to produce last lap duels than a few other eras. like, in the alien era, which regularly featured gaps of. idk. seven seconds between the front runners, the characteristics of those bikes (as well as those riders) just meant you had very few battles that lasted that long. so inherently, it's harder to judge riders like, say, casey on how good they are in that kind of situation, not least because you are working with such a tiny sample size. and those battles are a big feature of how we remember 1 vs 1 duels!! people love last lap duels!!

now, yes, obviously valentino's record in 1 vs 1 last lap duels is very strong, and there's really only a few he loses over the course of his entire career. dovi is another strong contender in that particular category if we're just limiting ourselves to riders this century (which we are). (unfortunately, those two kinda took turns to be competitive so we didn't really get much of a direct h2h, but off the top of my head I think it's a pleasing 2-2? dovi takes qatar 2008 and le mans 2011, valentino takes qatar 2015 and argentina 2019. I feel like I'm definitely forgetting something.) but again, you do end up in caveat central with this metric. look at marc, who was reliably finding himself in last lap duels specifically at tracks he and/or the honda were quite poor at - again, ragging on that record too much does feel like you're penalising him for managing to get there in the first place. on the other hand, is it really fair to take too much credit away from dovi in handling those situations - surely, at the point where you're arriving in the last lap together, you're at a stage where both riders have a decent chance of winning? on the third hand, it is worth pointing out that dovi is more often than not in the lead going into those last laps, and is fending off a sort of on-the-edge last gasp 'might as well have a go' marc attack. 'last lap battles' is inherently quite a loose term, and how much should who's leading going in be considered a criterion? does it matter if you actually have an overtake or not? does it matter when in the lap the overtake happens? it's obviously quite an arbitrary category... sete makes a mistake headed into the last lap at sachsenring 2005 that gives valentino the lead, while marc makes a mistake on the penultimate lap of catalunya 2016 that essentially ends his victory challenge towards valentino. how do you compare those?

and at a certain point, you need to get away from the headline numbers and start thinking about what it actually means to be good at 1 vs 1 duels. you get into categories like 'race management' - choosing when best to make your attack, balancing risk and reward, not making risky overtake attempts for no good reason when you could just wait for half a minute longer, making sure not to needlessly fuck your tyres while pushing too hard too early. there's ability to actually execute overtakes, which is a question of race craft, creativity, and also about being able to play the opponent. there's various defensive abilities - somebody like pecco exemplifies this, who is both very hard to initially overtake in part due to his ability on his brakes, but is also adept at immediately re-overtaking (a favourite trick of his mentor too, as it happens). to borrow from another sport's terminology, you can contrast 'conversion' and 'steal' rate - if you have the superior underlying pace at crucial stages of the race, are you actually converting that into your maximum achievable result, or conversely if you have inferior pace, can you steal a result your pace doesn't 'merit'? obviously, you get a massive blot in the copy book every time you fail to convert any kind of result by crashing out or by bagging yourself a severe penalty for your race conduct. what about the psychological dimension? your ability to put pressure on another rider, e.g. by showing them a wheel here or there, to force them into a mistake rather than 'just overtaking' them via pure skill? is reputation and intimidation part of your skill set when it comes to wheel to wheel ability? the off-track 'work' you're doing on the opponent, and the prior weight of their expectations for this fight... your ability to study and analyse riders to pinpoint where they are at their strongest and weakest, while also figuring out where they're going to expect an attack and where they won't - maybe even sucker them into thinking it will come from somewhere differently than it actually does... on sheer weight of his track record, you'd have to say valentino is pretty much peerless in some of these categories. and, yes, some of these skills are weighted quite clearly towards the '1 vs 1' element over the 'multi-rider dogfight' element of w2w skills. they're more about terrorising a specific rival than thriving in the chaos

so. what does all of this mean. what's the actual answer. is valentino the best at 1 vs 1 duels. well. who knows. even if we're ignoring the historical dimension and limiting ourselves just to this century, there's too many confounding factors - from different racing eras within that time span to different individual approaches to racing - to allow us to truly evaluate who the 'best' is. I think the cleanest way to summarise it is... from the great riders this century, valentino is the one who most depends on his 1 vs 1 skills (and w2w skills more broadly). that's his unique selling point in a way you wouldn't say it is for any of the others... the guy who gets closest is dovi - but I still reckon his biggest skill is his tyre management and that was the most important differentiating factor that made him so competitive in 2017-19. his ability to scrap w2w comes second (and is absolutely a constant throughout his career), but really that's the bit that allows him to take advantage of the tyre whispering skills... it lets him finish the job, if you will. whereas with valentino, his brains and cunning broadly speaking and his w2w more specifically - and especially the 1 vs 1 stuff - is like, his x factor. I mean... obviously he's also good at the other things - I called him a mid qualifier but of course it's worth remembering he has 55 career pole positions in the premier class, more than jorge or casey or dani. this is primarily a function of his longevity and all of them are definitely better qualifiers than him, but like. of course he's not slow. it's just that relatively speaking, when compared to the other aliens, he's the one who is winning the least via his actual raw pace. here's one metric for that: in valentino's seven premier class title campaigns, he only has the highest average grid position in only three (and during his super dominant 2002 season, it's joint with biaggi). in three of those title-winning seasons, he's the second best qualifier on average, and in one of them he's only third best. the only other seasons this century where the best qualifier on average doesn't win the title are 2015 (marc just beats jorge, valentino is quite a distant third), 2020 (joan mir icon winning a title with an average grid position of NINE POINT FIVE SEVEN lmaoooooo, only seventh best on the grid), 2022 (fabio is a little ahead of martin and then pecco) and... that's it

which kinda means that... can you say valentino's objectively better at 1 vs 1 battles than the other aliens? well, no. I mean, sure, I do feel fairly happy to say he's better than jorge and especially dani, more *wiggles hand* about casey and marc - because with those two there's enough confounding factors in comparing them to valentino and they've also challenged valentino often enough directly that you can make the alternative case. in the end you do kinda go... well, it's very much a 'all these guys were at their best in very different versions of motogp' thing. what you can say is that for valentino, 1 vs 1 prowess is a bigger part of his game than it is for his fellow aliens. his route to victory both on an individual race level and on a title fight level is built around engaging in a lot of these fights and winning them - and, given how successful he's been, of course you do have to conclude that bit of his game is clearly operating on a high level. so when you compare that to both casey and marc, those two really do have other bits of their games that are more important to their success. fewer of their race victories percentage-wise have been won through 1 vs 1 duels. casey is dominating enough races from the front he's not even doing all that much w2w tussling. marc might be losing plenty of these close duels, but he's relentlessly at the front enough that this consistency is what's giving him titles as much as anything else. whereas valentino's entire approach is tailored towards finding himself in those kinds of direct scraps, winning said scraps, and then using those scraps as a way to demoralise the opposition... unsurprisingly, he's got the biggest sample size of that style of battle and has a very high success rate. who knows if he's the best, but he is the most dependent on that specific skill. and he sure has had a lot of practise at those duels, which I imagine will have gotten him just a little closer to being perfect

[phoenixyfriend]

Barriss about Anakin (Ahsoka is so tired)

Or Anakin about Cody (Rex is so tired)

Or Ahsoka about Rex (Fives and Echo are not tired, they think this is hilarious)

(The song, not the video. I mean, maybe the video. But mostly the song.)

[aturnoftheearth]

one thing about my family is we’re gonna have a blow out knock down drag out fight before we go on the best vacation of our lives

[sharkneto]

What’s your opinion on writing pre-s3 fics post-s3? As in I have a ton of fic ideas for tua but they would be set before Viktor transitioned. Would following canon and referring to Viktor as his past name & gender be deadnaming him? Or should I refer to him as Viktor and forget that anything else ever existed? I’ve seen various opinions in irl from trans people about this (from wanting to never refer to that other gender or to often talking about it) not sure what to do in the case of fiction

So. This is a question that is going to have different answers from different trans people. I dug up when I last answered a question like this back when the news of Viktor first came out (HERE), but I'll restate my thoughts on it here, too, with a bit more nuance than I gave it then -

First, out of context - referring to Viktor by his previous name and gender would be deadnaming and misgendering.

In context, it all comes down to intent. My position on Viktor's story is his transition is a huge component of it - with his upbringing and the drugs, he never had a chance to figure himself out until he was free of it and off the pills. Even if he wasn't trans, his story over the first two seasons could really easily be a trans allegory, along with just being a queer story. To completely ignore that he is trans feels like it would ignore a significant part of who he is and his journey to get there.

But intent. I do think intent goes a long way. If you're writing a canon-compliant fic set pre-S3, I wouldn't judge for deadnaming and misgendering him (**with a disclaimer at the beginning of the fic/chapter that it is taking place pre-transition** ). I think this especially if his transition is part of his journey or scope of the story. I do this in both my fics Joining Together and Holding It Together, in which JT his gender is never questioned but will be in the long run and in HIT we have a post-transition Viktor present with a pre-transition Viktor mentioned.

That said, if his gender journey isn't part of the scope of the story and he's an especially prominent character... I would consider AUing this one bit. If his transition doesn't play any part in the plot of the fic, it wouldn't affect anything to have it happen earlier so he doesn't get deadnamed and misgendered the whole time.

How's that for complicated advice? At the end of the day, you're showing you care by asking, and you're not going to please everyone - there's too many opinions on the matter with personal emotions involved. No one has a blanket, correct answer. And, like you said - it's fiction. We can't ask him, he's not real an he's just a character being used to tell a story to explore emotions and themes.

TLDR: Follow your gut, write what makes sense to the story you want to tell, do your best. That's all anyone can do.

[silverislander]

people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?

[jacqcrisis]

Trip gets pushed back a day late cause of weather. Grandpa and grandma get sick with norovirus the day we get here so we have to stay at my dad’s coworkers spare house while here. Grandpa has to go to the ER and into isolation. We spend a lot of today talking about how aunt and uncle are going to get grandparents back home. Night ends with dad’s fiancee throwing up in the car on the ride to drop us off back at spare house. 

Still a better, more relaxing vacation than any I’ve had with my mom.

[crush-like-that]

forcing my little sisters to watch 'just five minutes' of gravity falls was quite possibly the best thing i've ever done

[tbnrpotato]

Our Own Choices

Chapter 5

Captured! Returning from a perilous assignment in the Outer Rim, Jedi Master Even Piell's cruiser has fallen under attack and been boarded. Seeking vital information he carries about secret hyperspace lanes called the Nexus Route, Separatist forces have taken him alive. Now, the Jedi are preparing a stealth mission into the heart of Separatist space in an effort to rescue Master Piell from the deadly prison known as the Citadel.

I wait for Fives and Echo to come back to the barracks from their briefing of breaking into that maximum security prison which I am so hyped up to break into. I can't sneak into the venting system, because I remember someone trying that before and it didn't really go too well for them. I've grown like 10cm, so I've had to adjust my armor to fit my new height.

I receive a holo-transmission from Rex. He's somewhere on a jedi cruiser or probably on another mission, but I'm stuck here on Coruscant. 

I open the transmission and open the hologram on the floor. Rex's image appears in front of me, he's like half a head taller than me. 

"Hey kid," Rex takes off his helmet.

"Hey dad, please don't tell me this is something about the bad batch minifigures that I've been building."

"What bad batch minifigures?"

"Nevermind. I'm guessing this is something about the Citadel mission?"

Rex nods. "Look kid, I know you wanna go, but this isn't the place to get experience. There's a high chance that you'll get killed, and I can't be responsible for that. So-"

I groan, putting a hand to my forehead. "You said I was good enough to be an ARC trooper, why can't I go?"

"Kid, it's too dangerous, and I can't have you getting killed. You're not going. That's an order."

"Dad please-"

"You're not going, and that's final. Fives and Echo will make sure you stay here." 

The hologram turns off, and I lean against the wall, sighing.

Fives and Echo walk into the barracks.

Echo puts a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry kid, but you can't-"

I roll my eyes and put on my helmet. "Yea, I know, I know, I can't go on that prison break in that I've been wanting to go on for days now."

"Yea, sorry kid," Fives says. "Rex told us to make sure you wouldn't come."

I glare at him from under my helmet. "And you're gonna defy the bro code just because Rex said so?"

Fives and Echo look at each other. "Sorry kid, you ain't coming with us. On the bright side, Commander Tano isn't going either, so you can hangout with her while we're out."

I sigh and head to the hangar with them, and go up to Commander Tano, who's talking with another Jedi. My anxiety's rising, I hate talking to Jedi so much. So I just stand at the side and wait for my chance to speak up.

"Master Plo? May I speak with you?" Commander Tano asks the other Jedi.

"What is it, little 'Soka?" the older Jedi replies.

"It's about the mission. Master Skywalker doesn't want me to go."

"Rex doesn't want me to go either," I speak up.

"That is their choice," the Jedi says.

Commander Tano sits down on the wing of the ship that the other Jedi is fixing up and I sit down next to her.

"I know, but I think he's being overly protective. He's picking and choosing which assignments I can be a part of," Commander Tano says.

"I know right, Rex literally does the same thing to me, even though he says I'm good enough to be an ARC trooper along with Echo and Fives," I complain.

"He is your master," the other Jedi says.

"Yes...but it's not for him to decide when and how I should put my life in danger. That should be my choice." 

"So after the others get carbon-frozen, they won't know if we go with them, and we could just sneak onboard," I suggest, and the other Jedi nods at us.

After the others get carbon-frozen, we get in and get carbon-frozen ourselves. It is definitely not a pleasant experience.

Soon enough, we get unfrozen by the droids. I see Rex getting unfrozen next to me as well.

"Hey kid..." Rex groans as he gets unfrozen.

"Hey dad," I reply, cracking my neck slightly.

"What are you doing here?!" Rex folds his arms.

"Fives, do I have carbon sickness or is that Aris," Echo asks as he cracks his neck. I walk up to him and slap him in the face. "Does that seem like carbon sickness to you?"

Echo rubs the place where I slapped him, chuckling. "Good to see ya, kid."

Rex grabs my arm and turns me to face him. "I gave you a direct order not to come!"

"I got orders from General Plo Koon and Commander Tano to come anyways," I fold my arms, smirking, putting my helmet on before any other troopers can see me. Rex rolls his eyes.

"Welcome aboard, kid," Fives and Echo clap me on the back and I smile slightly.

We walk to a ledge which overlooks the lava. Definitely don't wanna fall into that. General Skywalker takes out some binoculars and scans the building.

"I see the entry point," he reports.

"You were right," Cody says. "The wind conditions are too strong for jetpacks."

"Yes, we'll have to do it the old fashioned way. With ascension cables and a steel grip," General Kenobi says.

I already don't like this idea. Burning in lava seems like a painful way to go down, and I already had a problem with climbing that ledge back on the Rishi outpost, I'm starting to regret my decision of coming along.

"I don't think so," General Skywalker says.

"What do you mean?"

He looks through his binoculars again. "Electro-mines. There's nowhere to put a grappling hook at that height. And we hit one of those, the mission's over. They'll know we're here."

"I suppose that means we free-climb it," Rex says, and I look at him.

Echo puts a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, kid, if you fall, I'll catch you."

We continue walking along the ledge and manage to make our way to the bottom of whatever shit we need to climb.

I'm climbing behind Rex, and Echo and Fives are below me. Rex constantly looks down to check if I'm still alive. 

I really hope Echo actually meant what he said because my arms are burning and I'm losing my grip on the rocks.

The electro-mines are sparking with electricity, and I really hope that doesn't hit me or I'm definitely gonna die. My speed of climbing starts to slow down, and Echo and Fives are almost overtaking me, Rex is really far ahead.

"Cmon kid, we're right behind you, don't worry," Echo says below me. I'm breathing heavily inside my helmet, my hair's wet with sweat, it's so warm in there. The wind isn't helping either.

And then I lose my grip and I slip off the rock, and I'm thinking "Oh shit" until Echo catches me and helps me up.

"Thanks..." I'm breathing heavily, I think my heart rate just spiked up after that. I'm shaking from the adrenaline rush, and it takes me a few moments to get back to climbing.

I see everyone stop, and I stop as well. I look up and see a few droids on the platform above me, and I cling to the rock as close as I can, holding my breath, hoping that they won't hear any of us.

And then everyone starts climbing again, and I finally take a breath, pushing myself up to the next grip I can find, I'm below Commander Tano now, don't worry I'm not looking up her skirt, although I would really like to, I heard General Skywalker and General Kenobi say they told her that space underwear wasn't a thing so every time you looked up her skirt you could see her orange-

Anyways.

I hear General Kenobi saying they locked the door, and that it's ray shielded, and General Skywalker's kinda freaking about how it wasn't part of the plan.

Commander Tano climbs up and sees an opening up there and reports it to us.

"We know, they're ventilation ducts, but they're far too small for us to gain access," General Skywalker says.

"Too small for you maybe, but I think I can squeeze through," Commander Tano says.

"I could as well," I speak up.

Rex nudges me in the side and gives me the "don't you dare do it or I'll kill you" head tilt. 

"He can come along as well," Commander Tano points to me. 

General Skywalker nods at us and we climb to the ventilation duct. Commander Tano reaches up there in no time, opening the cover to the vent duct, while I'm struggling to climb up there.

When I reach the platform where the vent duct is, she helps me up. 

"Thanks," I'm panting, breathing heavily. Then Ahsoka slips inside the vent duct and I follow behind her. She looks down from the cramped space to check if there are any droids, before jumping down. I follow her, keeping my pistols drawn to cover her if there are any droids as she opens the ray shield.

I see the others climb up and I help Fives and Echo up. 

"Good job kid," Echo's breathing heavily as well.

"See Rex? I can handle myself," I fold my arms and look at him. I don't call him "dad" here for obvious reasons.

I see the last trooper reaching the platform, but then he slips, and starts to fall. I extend my grappling hook out to him, hoping that he can grab it in time, but he can't, and gets absolutely destroyed by an electro-mine.

The alarm starts to sound.

"They know we're here," General Kenobi says.

So we start running along the hallways, checking the corners to see if there are any droids.

"Take out their surveillance," General Skywalker says, and I shoot one of the security cameras with my pistol. And then some stuff from the ceiling start shooting down at us, but the boys and I take them out quite quickly.

And then, as I stand behind Rex, I hear someone shouting that the walls are electrified, and we run towards cover. I see one clone left behind, and I extend out my hand to grab him, but the wall gets him first and I get an electric shock in my hand. I shake it away, it feels like it's burning but I don't care, and I run towards the trooper who got caught in the electric wall and check for a pulse. There's nothing.

"We must keep moving," General Kenobi says, and I reluctantly leave the trooper behind and follow the others.

Soon, we reach the room where the dude we're supposed to rescue is kept, and we start blasting the droids inside the moment we open the door.

Some of us stand around the room while the others guard the door, and I hear the Jedi dude that we just saved talk shit with the Generals about how we gotta rescue his captain for some reason.

So we continue running through the hallways, checking to see if there are any droids. Suddenly, 3 commando droids appear at one end of the hallway, and a few more at the other end. I stay close to Rex, Fives and Echo as the Jedi draw their lightsabers. I draw my sword and hold my pistol in my other hand.

The droids start firing at us, the Jedi are blocking the blaster bolts with their lightsabers as the droids start jumping off the walls, they're getting closer, and one of them gets close enough and pins a trooper to the wall, and before I can reach him he's getting stabbed. 

I throw my knife at the commando droid who's still stabbing the trooper, and it hits the droid in the head, and I slice it in half with my sword to make sure it's dead. I see another commando droid behind Echo, so I shoot it with my pistol.

The Jedi slice the remaining droids with their lightsabers and Fives gently punches me in the shoulder. "You stole my kill."

I chuckle a bit. "Too slow?"

"We need to keep moving," General Kenobi says, and we start walking through the hallway again.

Suddenly, I hear some high-pitched noise, it's hurting my ears, so I cover them, even through the helmet I can still hear the sound, and all our weapons get attracted up to the ceiling, including the sword on my back and my hidden knife, carrying me up to the ceiling as well. Anakin's up there with me as well, attracted to the ceiling by his hand.

And then some electricity goes through the ceiling, going to both me and General Skywalker, it feels like my body is burning, it's shaking so much, and then it stops, and I'm trying my best not to black out, everything's spinning, everything sounds muffled...

I reach for my knife and General Skywalker reaches for his lightsaber, and I'm about to throw it at the place where the electricity comes out of, and then electricity comes out of it again. The burning feeling comes back, I'm losing the feeling in my legs, and my body...

I throw the knife at the electricity generator as General Skywalker cuts it with his lightsaber, and we fall to the ground, I'm trying so hard not to black out right now, everything's blurry...

The rest of the action happens in a blur until Echo and Rex help me up. "You good kid?" I can hear the concern in their voices. The feeling in my legs starts to come back and I nod.

"Yea I'm fine."

And then we start running through the hallways again, reaching the place where the other prisoners are kept. The Jedi handle the droids and General Kenobi suggests we split up.

Fives, Echo, Rex, some others and I follow General Skywalker and Commander Tano.

General Skywalker's looking at the holo-map, and then suddenly plunges his lightsaber into a wall, cutting a circle through it.

"Everybody in," he says.

Echo, Fives and I push through the circle that General Skywalker cut through the wall, and we find ourselves in one of the old fortress tunnels.

Commander Tano goes off to check the tunnels.

"The tunnel's clear," she reports.

"Looks like Obi-Wan's distraction worked," General Skywalker says. "Things seem to be going as planned."

"Don't jinx it," I tell him.

"It's when things do not go as planned that concerns me," the captain dude says. "What then?"

I go over to Echo and Fives and stand around with them for a bit. There's still a slight tingling feeling in my arm from the electricity just now. I can still hear my heart pounding in my chest, I gotta calm down.

Echo seems to notice this, and he puts a hand on my shoulder. I flinch slightly, but relax after a moment. "Thanks," I tell him.

Then we put the piece of metal that we pushed through just now back into the wall and head off.

We walk along the narrow sides of the tunnel which overlook the lava, making sure to be careful not to fall in. General Skywalker goes to guard the flank while I walk in between Fives and Echo.

"So uh, what are yall gonna do when we get back?" I ask them, to break the silence a bit.

"I'm probably gonna go get a drink at the cantina," Fives says. "And maybe Echo would come along as well."

"Can I come?" I ask.

"Nah kid, you're too young to be drinking alcoholic stuff, you're not 18 yet," Echo says.

"Aw cmon," I protest. "Please???? I'm like 16 years old biologically, I can handle it."

"Sorry kid, can't go till you're 18," Fives says. "I heard you're working on writing that story of yours about our missions and stuff, maybe you could do that after the mission."

"But I wanna hangout with yall," I protest again.

Echo chuckles. "Maybe we could go to the arcade or something after we go to the cantina, how does that sound?"

My eyes light up. "I'll definitely have to carry yall in battle royale today, maybe we could play some hardpoint, but we can't play ranked cause I'm legendary rank and yall are like pro rank-"

"Yea kid, we get it, you're a lot more pro than us," Echo sounds slightly annoyed.

"What's wrong?" I nudge him playfully in the side. "Jealous?"

"...No..."

Fives and I laugh, clapping him on the back. "Don't worry, you'll get better in about 30 years."

Our laughter's cut short when I hear Rex say we hit a dead end.

Fives, Echo and I stay at the back to defend the flank, and I hear the faint sound of footsteps behind us. Fives turns around the corner, checking to see what's there, and almost gets headshotted by a droid.

Fives and I manage to get some shots on the droid, knocking it off the tunnel and into the lava, and General Skywalker slices the other 2 in half.

Then some commando droids jump in from the walls with shields, and start shooting at us again. I see Commander Tano put grenades to the wall and roll some at the commando droids as Fives and I try to blast them, and the grenades on both sides explode, clearing out the commando droids and causing a whole lotta dust. At least the dead end's not a dead end anymore, and we continue walking through the tunnel.

We reach the pipe.

"This pipe leads to the top of the ridge," General Skywalker says. "Where R2 will pick us up and get us out of here. There's the hatch."

He goes to open it, and the rest of us walk towards it.

"Let's go, everyone in," General Skywalker says. "Don't use your lights, and make sure your weapons are locked. The slightest electronic pulse could ignite this whole tube." Rex and the rest of us nod, checking that our weapons are locked and our lights are turned off. Echo and I are the last ones to climb into the pipe.

We climb up the ladder in the pipe, it's kinda dark in here, and it smells terrible. Smells worse than Fives's socks, and that's saying something. Commander Tano's flexing by climbing on the outside of the ladder, swinging herself up to the high ground.

"How much longer are we going to wander through this tunnel in the dark?" Captain Tarkin asks.

"Stop complaining," I say from the back. Tarkin and General Skywalker start discussing stuff I can't quite hear, until Commander Tano says, "I think I found a way out." She points at a hatch above us, and goes to check if the area's clear.

"What do you see, Snips?" General Skywalker asks.

"The coast is clear," she reports.

"Any sign of Obi-Wan and the shuttle?"

"No, I don't see him or R2 anywhere," Commander Tano says as she opens the hatch and starts to climb out, but stops. I can hear the sound of the droids from down here, but a severed metal hand falls into the pipe and I assume that she's taken care of things.

"We've gotta go," she shouts into the pipe, I can hear the sound of blaster fire now. We all start climbing up the pipe, hoping that no blaster bolts hit us in the head and kill us. We slide down the pipe and take cover behind a rock.

General Skywalker throws a charge into the pipe and we all take cover behind the rock, bracing ourselves for the explosion. The ground shakes, and a droid lands in front of us. We get up from our positions on the floor and General Skywalker says we're gonna do plan b: meet R2 at General Kenobi's position. We start walking over the droid and head off.

We reach their position in a short while where the blaster fight has already started. I shoot one of the droids manning a turret, and we run over to where General Kenobi and the others are, taking cover behind some containers.

"We gotta take out those turrets," I say to Fives and Echo. 

"I think we have a bigger problem," Echo says, as some droids on flying thingies fly over, shooting at us. One of the turrets shoot at our position, hitting the containers and sending some of us to the floor. I instantly get up, trying to clear my vision, holding my head with one hand and my pistol in the other.

The Jedi and taking care of the flying droids, there are some 4-legged ones advancing to where Fives and Echo are hiding, and I run over to them.

I really regret not stocking up on grenades before I came, because I only have one grenade left, and I through it at the 4-legged droid, where it explodes and kills it.

"How do we take out those turrets?! If we try anything, they'll blow up our ship," I shout.

And then a bunch of commando droids with shields come out, shooting at us. I hide behind the boxes, breathing heavily, the odds aren't good, we might not survive this, and I'm telling my brain to shut up right now because Fives just threw a grenade which knocks some of them back.

"General Skywalker, a droid is manning one of those turrets. They're going to blow up the shuttle, sir," Echo says into his comlink, and I check to see which turret it is, almost taking a blaster shot to the face. 

I see the turret shooting at the incoming General Skywalker and that other short dude that kinda looks like Yoda but with human skin tones, and they crash-land near the turret.

"This is our only chance, we've gotta stop him," Echo says, before running out and grabbing a shield, running towards the shuttle. Fives shoots from behind, keeping his distance from the turret. I see the turret firing at him, and I run to pull him away from the shuttle which the turret is going to fire at...

I see flames. I'm knocked backwards, I land on my back, I can't move, pieces of shrapnel are digging into my skin, I can feel myself burning, my gloves are on fire, and I can't do anything...

Where's Echo?

I can't see his body anywhere, only his helmet at the side. I see the Jedi running back to the shuttle, and I want to shout at them, to tell them that I'm still alive, but I can't.

And then Rex looks back at the explosion site and see me lying there, my vision gets blurry as he runs over and picks me up and carries me. His voice is muffled.

"You're gonna be okay ad'ika...you're gonna be okay..."

And everything fades into black.

[sprinklesharkie]

MY BROTHER GOT ME THE FNAF MOVIE POSTER OMG

[bookwyrminspiration]

tater and i have moved past the emotions and are going down unhinged memory lane for a moment but i WILL say this. kotlcblr in peak pandemic times changed so many people's lives for real. it was THE transitional period. and i may still be here but you and i and everyone all know it's different now... i've talked about it with so many friends. but it was!!!! so much!!! so many things were going on in all of our personal lives and something great was that it was very much a home to a lot of people and like. What We Needed at a time that we needed it, yk? where like. no one was obligated to talk about the things going on in real life but everyone was free to be silly and have fun. and if someone needed some help there was usually someone online to offer it. and then like people do when they grow up & out of something they moved away to bigger and different things with entirely different tones and themes and mediums with wildly bonking back and forth meters of writing quality. JUST LIKE AMPHIBIA i am holding your shoulders like. i am fully aware that the things that i have seen u watch are not nearly as simply animated as this and also that i wouldn't have watched it if not for my little siblings but that show has touched upon something so like. golden. like they Got It, whoever they are.the found family doesn't stay together forever! sometimes u have to grow and change and move away and never speak again but that doesn't mean that the love you had matters any less

It was! It was such an of the moment thing. Both because of the specific people, which is something that applies to this moment of keepblr now, and because of the situations we were all in? Because we were all (or almost all) young and undergoing this massive worldwide stressor with no real control over what our lives looked like--or at least that's how it felt. And so there was all this energy and unrest and comfort seeking that led to such strong involvement and connections with each other.

And then the world started repealing its restrictions and trying to move on (regardless of if it was smart to do or not) and so we had more going on irl again and weren't cooped up seeking connection. And then we were also getting older and so a lot of people joined other fandoms or left tumblr. Which is fine! it's just bittersweet to think about

Which!! Is just like amphibia. As for the style thing, I know I'd get over it and get used to it once I started I just. Haven't started. But everything I've heard about it has been very good! Especially cool to see comparisons to real life. Sometimes people are only part of your life for a brief part of it, and that time has to end and you'll miss it but you have to grow and move on. But it still mattered so so much, even though it ended. Maybe even because it's not like it used to be.

So so many thoughts, this is also making me think about irl friendships and such which is. oof!

[useless-anxiety-cucumber]

anyone else ever suddenly and inescapably hit with the knowledge that nothing will ever be the same again? people move and friends fall away and life is an ever changing river where the only constancy is that you're stuck mourning a self you'll never get back. Most people don't realize which day is going to be the last day you laugh together with your friends, but when you do, oh god you do

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

I kinda wanna go on a rant but I honestly just think I need to sleep

[fairy-angel222]

𝐒𝐈𝐗 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 ft Gojo Satoru

— Six years. He’s loved you for six years. He was too young back then but now he’s not. And he plans on showing you that.

᧔♡᧓ Semi Yandere! Gojo x Fem! Reader

᧔♡᧓ Content: age gap (gojo’s 21 n reader is 27), obsessive behavior, smut, pussy eating, porn with some plot, cheating while in talking stage, petnames, praise, breeding, baby trapping, manipulation, gaslighting

᧔♡᧓ A/n: reader always saw gojo as a brother since he was so young, and never really developed feelings for him. it was just lust taking over when they fucked

Six years of friendship with your current best friend. Six years in which her little brother Gojo has had a crush on you. Six years of you only cooing with a giggle as you ruffled his fluffy white head of hair before calling his doting nature cute.

Six years.

Six years that he’s waited for you, becoming more of a man for you. Working out, gaining experience. It was all for you.

You’re twenty seven now, barely any different since the first time he met you. Your soft features still as beautiful as ever and your body just as perfect as he remembered. He’s studied you over the years. Every single time you came over. Studied your patterns, your every move, your likes, your dislikes, he’d even gotten to know your type.

He’d loved you since he was fifteen.

But he’s not a little kid anymore. He’s grown. Twenty one years old. Mature enough to be yours, to take care of you. He deserved you after waiting for so long. And he would show you. Show you that you needed him just as bad, craved him as much as he craved you. He’s the one for you, you just had to open your eyes and see that.

Gojo knows you feel at least a slight bit of attraction towards him. Hell, you’d called him handsome so many times— even though it had been strictly platonic— that you have to had felt something.. right?

On his eighteenth birthday you were there with him, his friends and his sister. He’d even brought a girl, introducing her as his girlfriend to try for a reaction out of you. But you didn’t bat an eye, you were genuinely happy for him. It made his jaw clench, but he was reminded of why he loved you. You were so sweet and caring. A big smile on your face as you embraced him in a hug, giving him the present that you’d been so excited to get. It was something that he had wanted for a while. A part of you saw him and his sister as the siblings you’d never had.

He didn’t need your gift, of course. He had enough money to buy anything he wanted. But it being from you made it special.. so so very special. Especially since you had listened to him. And it was his turn to return the favor. The random expensive gifts never stopped, every time you came over for the next three years it seemed that there was always something wrapped and waiting for you. Somethings just never change, you thought to yourself, piecing together that the boy’s crush had never left.

Then his gifts started getting more and more.. well, whatever you’d consider those matching lace sets that were accompanied a little note that made you swallow hard. Followed up by short dresses and eventually fancy shoes and purses to match. Not to mention the collection of jewelry you’d gotten from him.

Then he was.. less subtle, sending small smirks and winks your way. Finding any excuse just to be next to you or let his hands innocently wander during a hug.

You were not going to tell his sister. You didn’t want there to be any problems between them. You also couldn’t just start coming over less, she was like family to you. So you let his harmless crush continue.

…

Gojo swears luck was on his side, the universe wanting to make things easier for him. You had a boyfriend, a guy you worked with who was a good five years older than you. Like he said, you had a type, and he checked out none of these boxes. He knew everything about the dude, and he knew that he was not good enough for you. He tried to warn you, but what did you do? You smiled at what you took as him being worried about your well being.

So when you came knocking on his front door, flinging yourself into his sister’s arms as you cried into her shoulder. He knew. That asshole had broken your heart. He’d deal with it. He’d truly make the guy regret hurting you.

You were at his house all week, falling into the stage of the break up where you sat in your room (with their house so big you were bound to have one if your own) watching tv with a tub of ice cream and a string of adorable laughter. Anything to take your mind off the sting in your chest.

Then you were out. Everywhere. Going to clubs and parties with his sister just as you two did when you were a little younger. It was reckless, what if you got hurt? What is someone tried something? You were a sight for sore eyes after all. He would make sure to never let that happen. It was why he always accompanied you, whether you were aware of it or not. It was no surprise that you were never able to get laid, despite all the ogling eyes set on you.

…

Gojo leaned against the bathroom’s door frame as you emptied your stomach’s contents into the toilet in front of you. Small moans of displeasure filling the room as your body slumped against it. After math of a night full of drinking.

His arms were folded across his chest, muscles bulging through the tight black fabric which was paired with grey sweats which hung lowly on his hips. Gojo chuckled, pushing himself to stand straight before walking over to you. Stooping down to your current height with the shake of his head. “You should know better than this baby.”

Your brows furrowed, opening your mouth to question him before your head was over the bowl once more. Tears welling in your eyes at the massive headache that had sprung to life. “Shh shh shh baby.” He whispered, “let it all out, you’ll feel better soon.” He soothed, pushing stray strands away from your sweaty forehead while stroking softly at your hair. Whispering little words of encouragement as he held you, smiling sadly when the hug caused you to break down in his arms. No doubt reminding you of your recent breakup.

“Here, i brought you some panadol.” He reached for the two pills and the cup of water on the counter. Letting you sit with your back against his chest as he guided them up to your mouth, bringing the cup to your lips right after. “Here, drink it all okay?” You nodded, swallowing down the water along with the pain relievers. Gojo’s lips pressing softly to your head as he continued to stroke your skin.

You’d fallen asleep. And he’d laid you down on his bed instead of yours. Tucking you in and leaving you to rest.

Downstairs he found his sister, an empty cup sat in front of her along with the pill bottle. She’d clearly been hungover too. “Where is she?”

Gojo gave her a knowing look. “She’s sleeping.”

“Where?”

“My room.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing, not liking the way she was watching him. Was she really that selfish over her best friend.

“Satoru.. she’s twenty seven. You need to get over this stupid little crush of yours and go find someone your own age. She doesn’t want you, she never will.”

Gojo seethed, fists already at his side as he stared angrily at his sister. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Satoru come on-“

“No.” His voice was firm, he didn’t look angry anymore, he looked hurt. “Just.. shut up, please.” A part of him knew that maybe he’d just never be enough for you.

…

Making his way back upstairs Gojo had a plate of pancakes, bacon and eggs along with a glass of hot tea. He walked into his room to find your eyes only just fluttering open with the small stretch of your body. Blinking your eyes to adjust to the bright light while taking in your surroundings, realizing immediately where you were, and who was standing at the door.

“Oh.. Satoru, hi.” Your voice was timid, embarrassed to have been seen in your drunken state by the boy.

“Hey, how’s your head? I brought you breakfast.” He set the food down near the bed before taking a seat next to you. Allowing his fingers to play with the fallen hair from your bun.

“T-thanks.” You nodded, shifting to sit up before grabbing a strip of the crispy meat.

He wouldn’t stop staring at you, couldn’t stop staring at you. And you smiled in his direction, “thanks a lot, i should really get back to my room though.”

He shrugged, “or you could just stay, it’s not like we’re doing anything.” He grinned. “Yet.”

You couldn’t help the way your cheeks heated up at that statement. “It’s okay, i think i’ll just-“

“Stay. Come on, don’t be like that. I’ll even put on your favorite.” Reaching for the remote to search for your favorite show. You bit your lip nervously, not understanding how he could act so normal after all the inappropriate gifts and advances.

His smile never faltered as his hand ‘accidentally’ found yours, slipping his fingers into your own. Not allowing you to let go even if you tried.

…

The next few days were.. good. Gojo had assumed that everything was going well. They were going well, until you decided to ruin everything.

Toji Fushiguro.

A forty something year old man with two children. That’s who you were talking to. Gojo didn’t appreciate how hard you making things for him. You were supposed to be his and he was supposed to be yours.

He was tired of waiting for you to come to him, so he went to you. Knocking on your door with vigor and a small scowl. When the door swung open you were mid-laugh, Toji coming into view behind you with a glass of champagne in hand.

“Seriously? You’ve been ignoring us for him? Him?” Gojo accused pointedly, “My sister misses you, she’s been crying. A lot. Says you’re choosing a guy over your friendship.”

His jaw was hard as he fed you lies through his teeth. Watching your eyes widen as you pondered. Were you ignoring your best friend? You’d seen her just earlier today. You guys had hung out, gone for lunch. Talked about who you both liked with big smiles and non stop giggles. It didn’t feel like anything had changed. “I.. I didn’t realize- i’m sorry.” You didn’t know what to say, it made zero sense. But why would he lie?

Gojo silently cheered as you sadly asked Toji to leave. Giving him a small kiss on the cheek and promising to call him tomorrow. He was not very happy about the last part, but at least he was alone with you.

As soon as he left Gojo marched into your apartment. Nearly falling over his two feet when the scent hit him. Your scent, stronger than ever, that sweet strawberry smell that he’d grown to love.

“Satoru, i didn’t-”

He couldn’t help himself, he really couldn’t. “It’s okay I forgive you.” Turning around for his hand to snake to the back of your neck, heart rate speeding up as he crashed his lips onto yours.

You whimpered in surprise, Gojo controlling the kiss as he backed you up against a wall. His lips quickly traveling down to your neck in desperation. “You know, i’ve waited so long. So fucking long. Waited for you. For us. I’ve given you everything, i’ve done everything. But it’s just never enough is it? You’re just too ungrateful huh baby?”

You moaned loudly. “Satoru.. what are you.. hmm.”

“I’m taking what’s mine baby. Taking what i deserve. I’m not a little boy anymore. I’m a man. I can take care of you.” His lips moved with force, sucking harshly at your skin as he kissed down your chest, free hand roaming to your ass with a squeeze. “I’m old enough to be yours. This isn’t just some crush anymore. I fucking love you.”

You could feel your heart pounding as he uttered the words you wished he hadn’t. “Satoru we can’t.. your sister’s my best friend. I’m still older than you.”

“She’ll get over it.” He breathed, making quick work of your tank top that clung deliciously to your tits. “We’re both consenting adults now aren’t we. If you tell me to stop, i’ll stop.”

Your mouth went dry, lips parting to demand him to go but you couldn’t. You didn’t want him too. What was wrong with you?

“So what will it be baby? Stop? Or don’t stop?”

“Don’t stop..” You mumbled in shame, avoiding his eyes as you looked away. Gojo’s fingers dug into your cheeks, forcing you to turn back to face him.

“What was that? I didn’t quite hear you.”

“I said, don’t stop.” You said a little louder, cheeks burning up under his touch.

“Good girl. I knew you were playing hard to get.” He grinned, “You love the chase as much as i do.”

Gojo’s arms hooked under your thighs, lifting you onto him before reattaching your lips. Carrying you to your bedroom to drop you onto the sheets. Lips never leaving yours as you both hurriedly undressed. He was addicted to you, and having you set fire to his veins. This was all he’d ever wanted.

Gojo dropped to his knees before you, kissing lightly at your pussy before enclosing it with his mouth. Tongue lapping you up hungrily as you moaned, fingers finding his hair with a tremble.

“Satoru— feels so good, haah.” You breathed, Gojo burying his face between your legs with a tight grip on your thighs. Allowing your legs to wrap around his neck as he devoured your sopping heat. You were so sweet— just like everything else about you. And he couldn’t help but rut against nothing as more blood rushed to his cock. Finding pleasure in getting to taste you after years of jerking off to the image.

He’s seen your room more than you, always snatching a pair of anything he could find. Just to be able to hold you in any way or form. Feel you on his skin. Touch something that had already touched you.

Gojo pulled away with his face glistening, “Learned how to do this just for you baby. Wanted to be good for our first time.” He smiled lazily, eyes dark with need as he got back to work, sending muffled groans into your bundle of nerves while you mewled loudly. Back arching with the curl of your toes before trying to pull away.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Gojo growled lowly, fingers digging painlessly into your flesh as he pulled you impossibly closer, tongue flicking at your clit before his lips closed around it. Sucking and swirling the sensitive bud into his mouth with a satisfied hum. All while you cried out above him, moans getting louder each time you called out his name.

It was like music. The sweetest song ever. Hearing you moan for him, moan out of pleasure, need, lust. Knowing that it was him making you feel so good. He almost came right there, determined to give you the best orgasm of your life with just his tongue. You tugged at his strands, your vision blurred in the nearing of your high.

“Satoru— o-oh fuck Satoru, ‘m gonna cum. Nngh, you’re gonna make me cum.” You moaned noisily, lewd slurps and sloppily kisses filling your ears as he made out with your wet pussy.

Gojo loved how much you were squirming, your legs tightening around his neck as you screamed. You actually screamed. He made you scream. His tongue was awaiting when you began to shake, toes curled and eyes rolled back as you squirted nonstop. The clear liquid gushing onto his face and tongue in long streams.

You whined at the overstimulation when he licked a stripe up your pussy. Collecting every last bit of your sweetness before standing up. You were panting, hard. And Gojo felt accomplished as he smirked. “Has any older man ever made you cum this hard baby?”

Your head was dizzy, trying to bring yourself back down to earth as you blinked up at him with the shake of your head.

He scoffed in pride, “Now try telling me that i’m too young for you now.”

Gojo was quick to lay you flat on the bed and crawl in on top of you. Consequences of your latest activities still fresh on his chin and chest. There were so many positions he wanted to take you in, but first he wanted to see you fall apart under him. See your face contort into one of pure bliss when he started pounding into you.

“You ready for me?” He husked, impressive cock already swiping up and down your slick filled folds. You nodded, looking up at him through your lashes with parted lips. “Ready.”

You both shared a drawn out moan when he nestled his cock past your tight entrance. Feeling him graze your gummy walls before reaching deep within you.

You felt so good, so tight.. warm. And he felt so deep, so big.. perfect.

“This pussy was made for me.” He grunted with a loud groan, slowly speeding up his pace till he was fucking into you with no end. Hips snapping into yours as his cock kissed your spot, prodding at your cervix with every hard thrust. “Fuck- look at how well you’re taking me. Fucking swallowing me all the way in.”

You only moaned in response, teary eyes meeting his sinful ones as he molded you around his cock. Making sure that you knew nothing but the shape of him, the feel of him, when you were done.

Letting out the whiniest cry, your arms reached up around his shoulders, clawing at his skin when you felt your stomach tighten.

You could feel him so deep, the roll of his hips allowing his fat tip to curl up and kiss exactly where you needed it most. The fast pace pulling short screams past your swollen lips.

“Satoru— haah, you’re so deep. I love it s’ much Toru. So m-much— ahh.” You couldn’t think straight, your brain only registering the way he was sliding in and out of you. It was all you could think about in that moment l, the way he felt.

Gojo watched you fall apart, just like he wanted. Your glossy eyes closing as your head fell further into the pillow, unable to control your noises as you got closer and closer.

“You don’t know how hot you look right now. I love seeing you like this. All for me.” His voice cracked, cock twitching in an aching cry to get its release.

“S-satoru, ‘m so close. Gonna cum again.” You choked out, nails piercing into his broad back as your hands roamed down.

“Yeah? Gonna make a mess f’ me again hmm? All that denying me, making me feel like our love was one sided. You put me through a lot you know.” He shook his head. “If only you knew the lengths i’d go for you.”

His eyes were crazed, and a shiver raked through your body at his words, whimpering as you succumbed to the building pleasure with a mewl. “O-oh fuckk.”

“Nuh uh, baby. Apologize to me first then you cum.” His tone was firm, serious. He wanted to hear you say it.

“Ahh, ‘m sorry Satoru— ‘m so so sorry. You’re goid enough f’ me. Mature enough. You’re perfect. Please let me cum. I need to cum.” You cried, the man on top of you pretending to ponder your words which went straight to his cock before smiling darkly. “Go ahead baby, cum for me.”

Your body shook as you yelled out his name, your surroundings becoming blank when you began to squirt messily, again. The intense orgasm seeming to stun all of your body’s systems as you failed to come back down. Gojo’s continued thrusts keeping pleasure flowing through your sensitive body.

“I love you so much baby. I always did. It makes me so happy that we can finally be together. Fuckk— ‘m all yours. All yours.” He buried his face in your neck, his own eyes closing shut as his body trembled, stilling inside your warmth before you felt his cum pumping into you in spurts. The thick substance coating your every wall in white.

“And now you’re mine.” He didn’t pull out, staying buried inside you in hopes of you two being connected forever. There was one thing he knew and you forgot. You hadn’t taken your birth control in a while, and a part of him hoped that you had seen this coming. That you wanted it. But one thing remained true either way, he was never letting you go.