#flaming thoughts

[portraitofalinkonfyre]

Why Sky Wears Baggy Clothes: A Dissertation into Skyloftian Boner Culture and Outfitting Practices

So. Remember the infamous dick post? I have more thoughts, specifically concerning Sky's FAT COCK and how Skyloftian's specifically evolved greater vascular and hemoglobin systems in response to life in high altitudes. Prepare yourselves.

In my last piece, I calculated Skyloft's altitude of roughly 7,544.4 feet and covered how certain systems were affected to adapt to the climate, which eventually turned into a rant about Sky's dick, but now, I present to you: the reason Sky wears baggy clothes is to hide his altitude-induced, iron-man erections.

But first, let's explore the clothes themselves. Due to its high altitude, Skyloft is cold. Google AI has informed me that wind speed typically fluctuates, assuming the altitude is within the range of 6,000 to 8,000 feet, between 12 to 23 mph. On the Beaufort Scale, a chart used to estimate wind speed based on visual appearances, 23 mph is considered a "Fresh Breeze", and hardly a whisper to anyone from the Midwest. With this in mind, the standard temperature (excluding wind chill) of an area with a similar altitude to Skyloft is roughly 34°F or 1°C, which explains the multiple layers typically worn by many in-game Skyward Sword characters. Using both of these values and an internet wind chill calculator, we can conclude that the average temperature of Skyloft (assuming the wind speed is a comfortable 16 mph) is 24°F or -4°C, with a calculated range of 22°F or -5.6°C (23 mph, 34°F) to 25°F or -3.9°C (12 mph, 34°F).

With a wind-chilled air temperature of 24°F, Skyloft's layered, loose-fitting clothing standards make perfect sense, seeing as loose clothes are considered advantageous during cold weather because the small gaps between skin and fabric create pockets of space for body heat to gather, creating a pseudo-barrier against the elements.

Now, onto Sky's particular outfit. Based on this post by Jojo herself, Sky wears approximately four full upper-body layers (white, olive-khaki, chainmail, and mint tunic), one midsection layer (red sash), one lower-body layer (brown-green?? pants), and his embroidered sailcloth; he is prepared-prepared for chilly temperatures. As well as being a wonderfully adjacent nod to modern-day Tibetan culture, these clothes are perfect for conserving heat, and, concurrently, his life. 'But Fyre, we want the iron man dick-canons!' you may wail, but I'm not finished. There's quite a bit of debate in the skydiving community about whether tight or loose-fitting clothes are better, but many users state that loose-fitting clothes have the advantage of drag. But why is this good? In skydiving, and many of the Zelda games as a whole, control is essential; it's what allows us to feel safe, and thus allows for more logical, calm thinking due to adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormones) reduction. By increasing the user's surface area, loose-fitting clothes create drag, which, in physics, leads to better midair control during free-fall. Compared to Skyward Sword, where free-falling is as common a game mechanic as swinging a sword around, specialized aerodynamic control via clothing is a crucial mechanism that the Skylofians would absolutely take advantage of, considering that many of them regular jump from the sky and ride giant pelican-bird-creatures. In addition, due to his evolutionarily enhanced circulatory and vascular system, Sky himself is more than prepared to handle any and all endocrine stressors due to falling, and his specific outfit design only backs the theory that the residents of Skyloft are not only equipped to handle life in the sky on an evolutionary level, but from a cultural and biological level as well.

Okay. That was a lot, so I'm going to reintroduce some scholarly degeneracy at its finest: the concept of Sky's iron-man erections. Keeping with the vein of Skyloftian's specifically designing their clothes to be advantageous in every sense of the word, it isn't too far-fetched that they would make a point to account for any and all bodily changes that may occur during free-fall, or simply life on a floating rock, which absolutely includes altitude-induced erections. Confused? Let me explain.

In the dick-canon post, I largely referenced the concept of "airplane boners" as a defining factor for why Sky is HUNG, because it has been scientifically proven that abrupt changes in pressure affect vascular expansion and contraction, which absolutely extends to the pelvic region, and, thus, shifting erective status of the penis. With this in mind, it can be inferred that a race of people with the same evolutionary traits would have also evolved culturally to deal with this conundrum, which perfectly explains the bagginess of Sky's, and every other resident of Skyloft's, outfit choices. For example, the looseness of his pants is likely to be a cleverly-disguised ploy to hide what is by all definitions a biological predicament shared by all members of the Hylian species. It's in the same vein as modern-day menstrual cycles. Oh no, you got your period? Just slap a pad on it! Except the pad is baggy pants to hide an erection you can't control because flying is your way of life. Apply this to Sky and you've got a good idea of why his outfit is the way it is.

But that's not all! In addition to concealing any potential erections, Skyloftian clothing is also specifically designed to protect against the elements, which, you guessed it, extends to male and female reproduction organs. Whether through the use of thick, temperature-impenetrable cloth, specific (down-low) enchantments, or specialized padding, it is almost undeniable that a society as developed as the Skyloftians would have a fail-safe method to preserve both their lives and modesty through practical outfit stylizations.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: iron-man erections and what the fuck that refers to. I'm sure some of you are getting sick of the words 'vascular capacity' and 'erection of the penile region', but I promise you, this is where the magic happens. So. Sky is basically evolutionarily-predetermined to be hung. He has excellent hemoglobin and vascular system capacity, which would absolutely affect not only his body as a whole, but sexual functions as well, specifically in the fact that his erections are indestructible. Due to a combination of evolution, age, and gender, it's incredibly easy for him to become aroused, and, concurrently, incredibly difficult to 'take care' of his arousal in the same manner as the typical, non-evolutionized male would. That flagpole is raised and it is NOT coming down. This begs the question: how does he deal with this conundrum, specifically after some type of altitude-based activity, and what cultural practices are permitted in this context? Are all Skyloftian's serial masturbators or are they simply incredible at restraining themselves, which could act as a nod to Sky's typically unbothered attitude? In concurrence, if masturbation is socially acceptable, how does Sky find all that time to jack off? Does the rest of the chain know, or are they oblivious to his predicaments?!

In short, Skyloftian fashion and societal modesty culture is heavily influenced by the hilariously, yet closely related Skyloftian boner culture, in both outfit practicality and social norms, which is very likely to explain Sky's choice of clothes and, once again, why he is hung as FUCK. Thank you for witnessing my madness and Hylia bless.

Additional queries:

Does Priapism exist in Skyloftian society? Yes and no. The term 'priapism' refers the prolonged erection of the penis (4+ hours), often without any sexual stimulation, which cements it as a fairly common medical condition for humans. However, due to their unique vascular biology, it is unlikely that this condition would be viewed at the severity it is in modern-day humans, which begs the question: is it even an issue at all? Increased circulatory and vascular capabilities indicate a greater blood flow, whereas priapism is the persistent lack of appropriate blood flow, meaning that, due to their biology, priapism may very well be an indicator of old age in the same manner loss of vision or a general slowing down is for humans. On the other hand, if it were to possess the same significance as it does with modern-day humans, what

@skylover69 come feed bestie

[doubledudeski]

ok I'm gonna be completely honest I forgot to consider that the conveyor belt Could be turned off so that bee could sleep so this whole time I've been thinking that he was sleeping on the conveyor belt gas station hot dog style like this:

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

My Great Grandma who loved her babies very much

Reference that I used for the face!

[violetsorengail]

Colonel Mairi creating protection runes for a hundred and seven children. Liam carving dragon figurines for his friends. Sloane developing a signet that enables power redistribution. gift-giving is in their blood your honor

[astroxrion]

Unlock the Star Within ⭐️ Astro Thread :

Sun in 1st House:

You unlock your star power when you stop analyzing how you're perceived and start standing still in your presence. You don't need approval to lead. People follow certainty. Walk like you belong everywhere and your confidence will speak before you do.

Sun in 2nd House:

You unlock your star power when you ground yourself in what you've built and stop doubting your worth. You don't need constant results to be valuable. Wealth responds to self-trust. Speak less, produce more, and let your value make the noise.

Sun in 3rd House:

You unlock your star power when you communicate with focus and purpose instead of overexplaining. Your words have weight. Don't waste them proving yourself. Say it once with clarity and conviction and let people lean in because they feel your mind working.

Sun in 4th House:

You unlock your star power when you stop carrying what your family never healed and start protecting your peace like it is your currency. Your roots matter but your future is louder. Show people what real emotional strength looks like. Make home your launchpad.

Sun in 5th House:

You unlock your star power when you stop asking if it's too much and just make it louder. Your creativity is the light. You don't need an audience to be radiant. Create, share, repeat. Play turns into power when you let your gifts run free.

Sun in 6th House:

You unlock your star power when you treat your routines like rituals and stop abandoning yourself to serve everyone else. Systems make you shine. Track progress. Make it measurable. Show people how excellence looks when it's handled with quiet force.

Sun in 7th House:

You unlock your star power when you stop outsourcing your identity to your relationships. You're not half of anything. You are the standard. Bring balance, not compromise. Collaborate with people who expand you, not just those who validate you.

Sun in 8th House:

You unlock your star power when you face what scares you and stop keeping secrets about who you are. Your power is behind the curtain. Transformation becomes your fuel when you burn what no longer serves and speak from what you've survived.

Sun in 9th House:

You unlock your star power when you stop overthinking your next step and take the leap. You don't need the whole map. You grow by doing. Share your truth. Teach what you live. Expansion shows up when you walk like belief lives in your bones.

Sun in 10th House:

You unlock your star power when you stop waiting to be qualified and start acting like you already are. You're built to lead. Reputation comes from consistency. Show up sharp. Make every move count. Long-term impact is made one bold decision at a time.

Sun in 11th House:

You unlock your star power when you stop trying to fit in and start building the space that matches your vision. Your future isn't local. You're meant to influence the collective. Get strategic. Use platforms. Let innovation work for your voice.

Sun in 12th House:

You unlock your star power when you stop hiding behind privacy and start trusting your inner world to guide you. Your gift is subtle but powerful. Work in stillness. Heal in silence. Then show up with a clarity that makes everyone else slow down and listen.

[alwayspostiveparadise]

[scriblesandbits]

Some day we’ll both wake up for good, I will try hard not to scream.

[nepherit]

The winged snakes were Messmer's constant companions.

They were there when the base serpent was sealed away behind his eye. They were there through his eternity of suffering.

They will accompany him yet, in his hideous new form, born when he destroyed the grace granted by his mother. They have accepted his fate as much as he.

I know I said I wouldn’t do anything serious for Messmer until I figured out a definitive style for him, but I had to get this one out of my system, else I was gonna explode 😅

It’s not perfect, his face or hair might change next week, the snake placement’s probably off, but I don’t care. This wasn’t about looking pretty. It was about letting out a feeling that hit me while sketching a sleeping Messmer with the snake wrapped around him (the helmet description really got me 😭).... It’s wild how just a few lines of text can carry so much sorrow! I’ve never cried over a piece of fiction, but reading the heartbreaking lines right after his death almost made me

Here’s my silly sketch if you're curious how it started 😆

[stormwvr]

Xaden: Fuck AND marry Violet. I'll kill everyone else

Bodhi, exasperated: for the last time that's not how the game works

[harmonysanreads]

Something something about being in a happy relationship with everyone's dear, dashing hero, Phainon — absolute marital bliss and peace. A union that is said to be blessed, that is admired by so many. And the failed hero, Flame Reaver who despises Phainon beyond words, because he has everything that he's wanted — especially you. The green monster has sunk its talon too deep. To soothe that pain, Flame Reaver will steal everything that Phainon holds dearest, starting with you.

[nicenotkind]

Ok but the real enemies to lovers (besties) were Imogen and Violet. Im started breaking Violet’s arm and now she even listens (for a reduced time, of course) to Violet’s romantic problems and gives her advice *shocking*.

[gracie-rosee]

I just love that even amidst the uncertainty mid-Iron Flame, Violet is already planning her future with Xaden, starting with books.

Iron Flame, Ch 49

[violetsorengail]

iron flame ch. 26 & 49

sawyer’s immediate response every time someone looks at violet the wrong way is like… yeah let’s just kill this one right now we have time before next period

[astroxrion]

Your Hidden Abilities based on your 10th House:

(Status,Legacy,Reputation,People Presenting)

Aries in the 10th

You were built to dominate but your hidden skill is resilience under pressure. When shit falls apart you get sharper. You lead when everyone else freezes. You’re the one that makes chaos follow your direction. Authority isn’t optional. It’s who you are under fire.

Taurus in the 10th

Your power is in consistency but your hidden edge is silence. You build behind the scenes so steady no one sees it coming. By the time they notice you it’s too late to catch up. You win by outlasting everyone who moved faster but meant less.

Gemini in the 10th

You sound like chatter but your real power is information warfare. You know what to say how to say it and when to make it land. You can talk anyone into a yes and outthink any room. Influence is your baseline. Mind games are your specialty.

Cancer in the 10th

They see nurture but miss the strategy. You read people and predict moves like a psychic in a suit. Your ability to lead with emotion is your weapon. You make people trust you then take the throne while they’re still thanking you for caring.

Leo in the 10th

Your shine is loud but your hidden power is loyalty. When you commit to the vision nothing can move you. People think you want the attention but what you want is legacy. You’re building something that outlives applause. That’s what scares them.

Virgo in the 10th

You look quiet but you control everything. Your hidden skill is precision under pressure. You see mistakes before they form and solve problems before others notice. You lead through detail. Your perfection isn’t pretty. It’s surgical.

Libra in the 10th

You look soft but you move like a diplomat with a knife behind your back. Your hidden power is negotiation. You know how to get what you want without ever raising your voice. People follow you because they think it’s their idea. That’s the trap.

Scorpio in the 10th

Your presence alone shifts the room but your true power is control. You see what’s not being said. You play long games. You don’t move often but when you do it’s permanent. You’re feared for a reason. You never lose. You just wait.

Sagittarius in the 10th

You joke and charm but your hidden weapon is vision. You see beyond the moment. You map futures. You know how to move a crowd and shape culture. You teach what frees people and make it profitable. You make expansion look easy.

Capricorn in the 10th

Everyone sees the grind but your hidden power is discipline so ruthless it scares people. You will outwork outplan outlast without flinching. Your name becomes law because you built the system that runs it. You’re already in control.

Aquarius in the 10th

You look detached but your mind is five steps ahead. You invent systems before the world knows they need them. Your hidden skill is innovation that can’t be copied. You don’t lead the room. You rewire it. The future answers to you.

Pisces in the 10th

They underestimate you because you’re soft spoken. But you move through intuition like a ghost. Your hidden power is influence through energy. You can read a room and bend it. You lead without force. You make people follow what they feel.

Get an Astrology Reading With me : https://www.tumblr.com/astroxrion/784631769533136896/o-my-readings-the-rion-code-o?source=share

[thingswedontunbox]

[lulu2992]

When there was nothing left to burn, we sat on the ground and watched the fire consume and purify the place where we had endured so much suffering, like scouts watching a campfire. - The Book of Joseph