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spectrumscribe · 8 years

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I hear static, I hear you.

An AU, set directly after The Power Inside Her. Canon divergence from the ending of the episode. AO3 link.

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Part Nine. (Master Post)

Raph curled his hands around the mug Leo had given him, the warmth of the ceramic seeping into his scales.

It didn’t do anything to ease the ice in his chest.

He made no move to drink the tea, instead focusing on not winding himself up again.

Getting angry wouldn’t help them. Blowing up wouldn’t help them. Doing anything at all to relieve the pent up emotions he had wouldn’t help them.

But.

She was right there, right there.

And he couldn’t do anything about it.

What exactly he’d do about it, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he wanted her gone.

They needed her though, even more obviously now.

Raph slid his eyes from his steaming cup, to the hunched figure sat as far opposite of him as she’d been able to manage.

April wasn’t looking up, and all Raph could see was the top of her head.

She looked a lot different without her hair. He wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Raph’s eyes drifted over to Leo, who’d finally finished handing out tea and sat down. Everyone was seated again, even if they’d all spread out from one another.

Raph saw that his father was holding a heat-bag to his hand still, the small microwavable beanbag being used to warm up his chilled limb. It was the one that had touched Donnie.

Raph hadn’t been able to even move when Donnie had appeared, and before he’d been able to shake off the shock, his brother had started screaming, and-

It got fuzzy from there. Painful, too.

“So… what now?” Leo asked, breaking the tense silence they’d all fallen into. “Any ideas? Sensei?”

“I… I do not know,” Splinter said in a hushed voice, eyes on his cradled hand. “We have done our part.”

‘Now its April’s turn’ was left unsaid, but heard anyways.

Raph tightened his grip around his mug.

He didn’t want to rely on April. Not after what she’d done.

According to his elder brother and father though… she might be the one chance they had of fixing things.

Raph turned his eyes onto April, who was finally looking up again. She looked pale and washed out, and what little was left of her bangs hung limp. Over all, with her thick hoodie and visible weight loss, she looked like a wreck. The redness of her eyes only enforced the image.

“We just gonna brush what happened under the rug?”

Raph blinked, and glanced away from April. Casey. He’d almost forgotten his friend was there, honestly. So much had just happened, and Casey had been unusually quiet...

Casey was scowling, and he set his now empty mug onto the floor, hunching over his knees and looking at them all. “That was some freaky stuff right there, you can’t tell me we ain’t gonna talk about it. What the hell even was that? It was totally out of character for Dee to pull somethin’ like that. He do that to any of you guys?”

Raph shook his head, noting that Leo, Mikey, and April did as well. “He just stood there when he visited me.”

“Same here,” Leo agreed, and an echo of the same from Mikey.

“He… he did speak with me, when I met him,” Splinter said, glancing up from his hand. “But the screaming… no, this was very different from my experience.”

“So we got one outlier here, and not a lot of reason why,” Raph summarized.

“It seems so,” Splinter said, nodding his head.

What was different about it? Easy. They were all together. Question was why that affected things.

“Any ideas, everyone?” Leo asked again, glancing around at them all. “I’m sort of stumped here why this time was different. I mean, I know it’s different because we’re all in one place this time, but why is it different?”

“We overwhelmed him,” April said quietly.

Those three words sent another rush of silence through them all, and Raph stared at April, along with everyone else gathered.

“We…” April’s eyes went distant, and she gripped her mug tighter. “Our combined presence messed up his control. That wasn’t really Donnie. Or it was, but also not?”

Something felt like it was stuck in Raph’s throat. He wasn’t sure what to say to that.

It wasn’t actually Donnie?

Splinter leaned forwards, turning his head towards April’s corner. “April, what do you mean by that?”

April blinked, and came back to the present. “Um… it’s a bit hard to explain. He’s… he’s scattered right now, and not quite all there. What we just met was… well… it was just pieces of him. Held together by his willpower. At the moment… he’s not much more than emotions and memories. Mostly emotions. Fear, anger, grief…”

April blinked again, and scrubbed at her eyes. She continued, “He uses his connection to us to strengthen those, so he can… think properly again? I think?” She shook her head, muttering, “To be himself. Be more of himself.”

“April? You’re not making any sense,” Leo said slowly, cautious of April’s scattered words.

April grimaced, and shook her head again. “I’m sorry. It’s a huge jumble right now. Basically, um… he- he used us to anchor himself here, and we overwhelmed him. Unbalanced him. He couldn’t keep everything under control, and we… I pushed him over the edge. And he lost it.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Raph said, frowning hard. The way April seemed so out of it, it was making him nervous. The last time she’d been out of it, head swimming with power…

It hadn’t gone well.

“How do you know all that?” Leo asked in a strained voice. “All he did was… all he did was scream. I didn’t hear anything even close to words.”

“I… I heard him. In my head. It was like…” April’s eyes went distant again, and a hand drifted up to her temple. She looked pained. “It was like he was saying everything he wanted to say, all at once. It was… it hurt. It hurt a lot. I couldn’t- I couldn’t think anymore, there was so much. It wasn’t even just thought, there were emotions and memories and just- everything. He tried to tell me everything and I couldn’t-” April bit off, hand shaking as she lowered it. “…I couldn’t take it. I had to make him stop. So I… I made him leave. Again.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered, lowering her head again. “I couldn’t handle it. I tried, but it… I just couldn’t. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I heard him too.”

Raph flicked his eyes over to Mikey, who’d spoken up for the first time. Mikey was curled on himself, knees to his chest. His mask was off, and Raph could see the dark circles that’d grown around his eyes the past weeks.

“I heard him too,” Mikey repeated, now that everyone was looking at him. “In my head. Sorta.”

Raph stared at his brother. He didn’t check, but he felt like everyone else was as well.

“…what did he say?” Raph asked, since no one else would speak.

“He’s… he’s in a lot of pain. That’s basically all I got,” Mikey replied, shrugging. “He didn’t give me anything else. April, he tell you anything about that? The pain?”

The way Mikey was looking at April… Raph hadn’t seen his brother look at someone like that before. It seemed still carefully masked, but… pointed. Sharp. He wasn’t saying it, but Raph could imagine the meaning behind Mikey’s choice of words.

The pain you caused him.

“Yes. Yes he did,” April replied softly, guilt in her voice. “It’s still happening to him right now. What Za-naron and- and I did. Basically… it’s pulling him apart still. I thought it’d k-killed him, but Donnie… Donnie said it just separated him. He’s not alive anymore, but he still is? I’m sorry. It’s… it’s a mess. I lost a huge chunk of the information when I forced him out.”

“How did he do that anyways?” Casey asked. He glanced between April and Mikey. “The- the connecting thingy? You’re a psychic and shit, April, but Mikey ain’t. Right?”

Mikey shrugged. “Dunno. Just happened without me sayin’ so.”

“It’s not because of Mikey specifically, it’s more… Donnie was the one reaching out, and Mikey was just compatible enough for it?” April explained, seeming a bit confused herself. “I heard everything, mostly, and Mikey only got the most powerful bit. It probably has to do with how Donnie’s keeping himself intact.”

“You mentioned he was anchoring himself here, through us,” Splinter said, and Raph heard a hint of life coming back into his voice. “How so is he doing this, and perhaps it relates to Michelangelo’s ‘hearing’ of him?”

April pursed her lips, and her shoulders slumped a bit. “He’s using us. Mostly his brothers. It’s like… since he’s close to nothing but emotions right now, he’s using ours to hold himself on this plane of existence. Memories too. It’s… it’s a little vampiric, honestly, but without anything being drained from the boys. It actually drains Donnie, instead.”

Well that wasn’t unsettling as fuck or anything.

“That’s part of why he overloaded, actually,” April continued. “Too much emotion, not enough power to stabilize it. He was more himself than he’d had each of individually to connect with, but he… just didn’t have enough energy to process everything. Not enough ambient energy versus too much ambient emotion.”

That was even more unsettling. Great. Raph rubbed his temples, and then stopped because April was too. “Can we please back track to the whole ‘Mikey is compatible’ thing? Little more explanation would be nice. Mikey?”

“Man, I don’t know,” Mikey said, scratching the back of his head. “I mean- I just listened to him? Was listening to him? Something like that.”

Force of habit, or maybe just grasping for something normal in all this crazy, made Raph blurt- “You never listen to anyone, though.” -without much thought.

Immediately, he regretted it.

Mikey’s face closed off, and his confused frown slid into something harsher. “I listen when people actually tell me stuff.”

His pointed look at their father and older brother wasn’t missed, and Raph saw Leo wince.

“Mikey, we’re sorry, but…” Leo’s expression wavered between apology and something like his leader face, the one that gave orders and didn’t have time for dissension. “We weren’t sure if you two would listen long enough for us to explain, or even understand what we were aiming for. We didn’t know how you’d react.”

Raph bristled, hands gripping into fists, but before he could snap something hurt and angry-

-Mikey beat him to it.

“That doesn’t- that doesn’t mean you just cut us out of the loop!” Mikey exclaimed. Uncharacteristic anger slipped into his expression, even more obvious with Mikey’s bare face. “We have just as much right to know what you’re planning to do, this is our home too!”

“We didn’t have much time, and- and I wasn’t even sure how to explain it to you-”

“You could’ve at least tried!”

“You never listen anyways-”

“I listen! I’m always listening! You just never explain things how I can understand them-”

“We didn’t have time. Donnie could have reappeared before we figured out how to tell you-”

“That is enough,” Splinter interjected. “What’s done is done, and we will learn from our mistakes.”

Mikey looked rapidly between their father and brother, rising indignation and hurt clear in his eyes. “You- you’re just going to move on? No! No!! That’s not- that’s not fair!”

“We need to move forwards with the conversation, my son-”

“You didn’t even say sorry properly!”

“Mikey, seriously, I know you’re upset but I already told you-”

“Donnie would’ve at least tried!”

Mikey’s furious words sent a shock of silence through everyone, and even Raph’s own anger was quieted.

Mikey stared at them all, more pointedly at their family’s leaders. He blinked rapidly, and his expression twisted further into a glare. “He would’ve at least tried to tell us what was going on! Even if I didn’t get it half the time, at least he actually tried. You guys didn’t even bother!”

A long beat of silence, stifling with tension.

Eventually, a soft “Dude…” from Casey broke the spell of quiet, and Mikey’s glare slipped away.

“I’m sorry,” He said, voice tight. “I’m sorry, but you just- you guys always do this, and I’m tired of it and- it’s not fair. He’s my brother too, okay? Don’t just… cut me out like that.”

Mikey’s gaze dropped from them all, and he lowered his head onto his knees.

Raph’s stun wore off, and he felt awful. How long had Mikey been bottling that up? All that frustration and anger? Shit. And Raph hadn’t even noticed.

None of them checked up on one another anymore. Not since…

They weren’t right without Donnie. Everything fell out of whack without him around. Including their ability to give a shit about each other’s emotional stability, it seemed.

Shit.

“Michelangelo… I am sorry,” Splinter said remorsefully. Mikey’s shoulders hunched a bit more around his knees in response, and Splinter let out a quiet sigh. “We did not mean to hurt you, or Raphael. It was a grave error in our judgement.”

Story of their lives it looked like. Errors in judgement everywhere. Raph started this particular mess, he wasn’t excluded from that.

Mikey didn’t answer Splinter, other than a shrug of his shoulders.

Raph took a turn, since his comment had started the whole fight. “Mike, I’m sorry for what I said. I was just… I don’t know, kidding around. It was a reflex. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

Mikey lifted his head enough to glance at Raph, and then looked away again. Well, guess that was as close to an acceptance of apology they were going to get right now.

Leo was the one who started moving them past the awkward post-fight tension. “Let’s go around and compare experiences, maybe we can figure out why Mikey’s connection has been so much stronger?”

Solid enough plan. Not exactly productive, but it was something. They were flying mostly aimless right now anyways.

It was the same general experience, all around their loose circle. Everyone had felt like someone was watching them, or following them or something like that, and then came the fear and the choking presence and the overall feeling of terror…

Leo and Casey both confessed that their experiences had been more than a little scary. Kind of dangerous feeling too. Raph could relate, what with the exploding video consoles all around him during his turn.

The evidence in the dojo spoke for itself how Splinter’s visit had gone, and April explained that she’d ended up collapsing during hers, even just for a moment.

Other than Donnie speaking to April and Splinter, sort of at least, the experiences all matched up on multiple levels. Donnie appearing, acting like a typical horror movie character, and then vanishing again. All of them were like that, except-

“I didn’t feel any of that,” Mikey said, when they’d gone full circle and come back to him. He seemed mostly recovered from… whatever you’d call their fight. He was mostly back to his usual self, or maybe was just good enough to pretend he was. “Like, this last one? Sure, but that’s ‘cause we were all together, right? First time it was just… him standing there. Didn’t even look at me. I dunno what you all did, but I barely even got the heebie-jeebies from my visit.”

Leo furrowed his brow, tapping one finger on his knee pad while he thought. “Maybe that’s because he just wasn’t strong enough yet? That was a while ago, and he’s gotten a lot more powerful since then. That still doesn’t explain why Mikey could hear him though-”

“Wait,” April interrupted, holding up her hand at Leo. “Wait, let me hear Mikey describe his experience again. Mikey, if you wouldn’t mind..?”

“Uh, sure? It was just me in the lab, and I was starting to clean up some stuff, when I thought I felt somethin’ off and turned around to check it out, and then Donnie was suddenly there and I ran right towards him-”

“You didn’t hesitate? At all?” April questioned, interrupting again.

Mikey blinked. “No? I mean, it was a big shock, but I didn’t think much on it. Just kind of went with it, ‘cause you know… don’t look a gift horse in the mouth or something.”

April closed her eyes, and her lips formed a thin line. “Of course. Of course. I know why Mikey has such a strong connection to Donnie, and why Donnie’s first appearance was so different from all the others.”

Raph crossed his arms. He wasn’t seeing the point here. “Mind tellin’ us why that is?”

“He wasn’t afraid,” April said, opening her eyes again. She seemed more like her old self, more alive again, but also… deeply sad. “Mikey wasn’t afraid. That’s the difference- I can’t believe we missed that, he wasn’t afraid.”

“Uh, why does that matter?” Casey spoke up.

“Because- Mikey didn’t create a feedback loop. Donnie was too weak to stick around, but he also didn’t get scattered or- or mixed up because of extra emotion or anything and-” April cut herself off, and laughed shakily. “We’ve been the ones doing it, making every visit so scary. Not Donnie. He uses our emotions to anchor himself, not his own, and if we’re giving him nothing but fear to feed on- what do you think is going to happen? It’ll just drag all of his fear to surface, and create on big feedback loop of sheer terror. He’s been acting the way he has because of us.”

Raph’s throat felt tight as he digested that information.

When Donnie had appeared, or started to try and appear, what had been Raph’s first reaction? Fear. Suspicion. Eventually it’d been desperation to get to his brother, but not before Raph had felt real and full terror run through him.

Shit. Shit. They’d just been building things up for one another too. Every time someone had a visit from Donnie, they’d expected the worst and gotten the worst. By the time they’d all collected together, with emotions and tempers running high- Raph definitely not an exception- they’d all been complete snarls of fear and anxiety.

Raph slowly grasped his knees, as the full gravity of what they’d been putting Donnie through settled in him. The way Donnie had been acting, the reactions and near attacks and bipolar moods- shit, the only reason he’d been doing that was- “He was only acting like a monster because that’s how we saw him.”

April nodded grimly, another humorless laugh coming from her. “We’re the ones that did that to him. Not Donnie. He was just trying to reach out to us, and I- we screwed even that up for him. God.”

“Shit,” Casey muttered, seeming just as thrown as Raph felt. “Shit. So ‘cause we all freaked out, ‘cept for Mikey, Don freaked out?”

April nodded again, and Casey slumped back against the couch. Raph’s friend put a hand on his forehead, pushing his bangs from his face as he muttered, again, “Shit.”

Raph could agree with that statement.

Leo had put his head in his hands, and was pressing the heels of his palms onto his eyes. Their father had also lowered his head, ears laid flat and stressed.

“My son, oh my son…” Splinter said softly. “What have we done to you?”

Tense quiet followed Splinter’s words, everyone still reeling from what they’d just figured out.

After everything- after all the stupid, horrible shit Donnie had been through- they’d gone and done this to him too. Raph didn’t even know where to begin, other than to reprimand himself for ever doubting his brother.

God. If- when they got Donnie back, Raph wasn’t even sure how he could apologize for this.

Splinter raised his head again after a long pause, and he looked straight at Mikey. “Michelangelo, tell me, were you truly so unafraid of your brother’s appearance?”

“Well, duh,” Mikey said, giving them all a look. “I mean… he’s just Donnie, so why would I be?”

Hearing it said so plainly, and without even a hint of hesitation, really drove home how stupid they’d all been.

Raph felt like an idiot, and like a huge jerk. To both of his younger brothers.

Mikey noticed how Raph and their family were staring, and he squirmed under the five gazes set on him. “Jeeze guys, why the looks? I know it’s stupid, but come on-”

“No,” Raph said, cutting him off before Mikey could finish that sentence. “No it’s not. It’s not even a little stupid. It’s what we all should have done, but we didn’t.”

“Raphael is right,” Splinter said, bringing the attention over to him. He looked at both Raph and Mikey evenly. “We all should never have doubted your brother, no matter what form he had taken. In this, I failed, and I know that many of you have as well. We have done a great disservice to Donatello, and I pray we have chance to rectify it.”

Mikey blinked at the sudden praise, and didn’t seem to know what to do with it. “Uh. Yeah. Me too.”

Splinter nodded once at Mikey, and then turned to the person who held the key to everything. “April? We have found the source of the connection, what is the next step?”

Raph’s hands went into fists again without his conscious choice, and he turned to look at April too. Much as he didn’t like it, and didn’t trust her, April still held all the cards. That meant he had to listen, and restrain his resurging anger at her.

For Donnie. For the chance to get him back.

Raph would do anything, same as he knew his brothers would. Even if that meant listening to the person who’d killed their missing sibling.

April sat up straighter, and Raph saw her regain a bit more of her old self. Her eyes were still dark, though. Still grim. “I didn’t get all of Donnie’s instructions, since he ripped most of them back out with him. But, I did get an idea from everything we’ve talked about. He’ll be back soon, I know he will, and he’ll be collected enough again to speak. We just have to keep him balanced this time. We’re going to need all of us, and a lot lights…”

continued.

#*heelies into the room carrying this chapter*#'shit that sure was Some writer's block'#god damn #my writing #I hear static I hear you tag #tmnt #TMNT 2012 #i'm sorry it took so long folks #i had the worst case of the blocks like you wouldn't even believe #bleh #raphael #April O'neil #michelangelo #focus characters of the chapter yee #next time we return: more pain but with better lighting this time #(i can't tell if this is too melodramatic yet or not)#(hmmm)

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oonajaeadira · 2 years

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State of the WIP Address

We’re in the busytimes and I hates it. I miss writing time and I miss being able to keep my eyes open for long stretches of the evening. The next couple of months are gonna be rough, y’all. My presence here will start to dwindle in the coming weeks and I’d be surprised if you see me at all in the first two weeks of August.

But I’ll be posting here and there, and after my annual marathon haul I’ll be back. Writer Wednesday saved me from a bit of a drought and some lovely trope asks helped me to formulate a lot of good ideas for fic in the future. That was nice.

It looks like whenever I write for Jack I always pair him with the same reader character, so it was time to group all of my one shots and drabbles into a masterlist for them - Operation: Techmate. Yee haw!

I’m still plugging along on the final Thief chapter. That’s my focus at the moment.

Completed this week:

Pulling Focus - Jack Daniels x f!reader

A list of what’s coming down the pike next, slowly but surely:

Thief x Locksmith 6 (currently sitting at 2.1K)

Losing My Religion Ch. 13

Dieter. INFILA Scene 5

Sweets Series stuff

More Pats Kiss and Tell sessions

#state of the wip address

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achliegh · 3 years

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Golden

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

@clearsuitcasecookienerd helped me out with this one!

For some background:

Leo is a bull rider as a side hustle.

His parents breed Tennessee Walking Horses ($$$$$)

His father died when he was 16 so he dropped out of school to help his mother and cousins run the ranch.

During the winter The Ranch hands take over the Ranch so Leo and his Mother can go visit family all over the country. During the Summer Leo and his cousins handle the ranch.

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Prologue:

Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy

And James was thrown off the mechanical bull for the third time! It seems as though no one on the team could stay on that thing long enough to win the prize of a free beer tab. Finn and Logan were standing hip to hip, forearms resting on the short fence surrounding the mechanical bull in this crowded bar. They were passing a cigarette back and forth as they made fun of Thomas and James as they rode this ferocious animal on the beginner setting.

They just got done for the day at a training camp designed to make them more agile on the ice, only the wingers and centers were there. It was being put on at the old professional hockey rink in New Orleans so it can get some use. The only reason why they choose this hick bar is because it was close to the rink and apparently LGBTQ+ friendly because some kid comes here and gets in fights with people who are homophobic.

A true hero.

Finn and Logan have been friend with benefits since college, did they plan to fuck again tonight? Yee-haw! They both had feelings for each other but refused to admit them because that's the one thing you aren’t supposed to do in a friends with benefits situation. Not fall in love. Everyone knew they were completely head over heels for each other but everyone also knew something was missing for them to be able to work. Usually they only talked about their feelings when they were angry.

Everyone in the bar was friendly, all locals too, so they would tell fun stories about what has gone down in this bar. Two names that would come up frequently and always together were, Leo and Clayton. Apparently, they are best friends and the most beloved frequenters of the bar. Yes, they were undersage. Yes, they did like to fight. No, no one snitches on them. Yes, Leo is a gay boy and Clayton is a Bi boy and they ran this town.

Both are apparently from very rich old parents who only ever had one child, so they treated each other like brothers. No one messed with them. Don't forget they know how to have a good time. Finn had squished his hand into Logan's back pocket while they listened to the local next to them at the fence talk about the two boys.

Then the double wood door to the bar was slammed open, two very tall specimens sauntered in, there was whooping and hollering as they walked past people. Tipping hats and throwing winks. The local leaned over and whispered to Finn and Logan who took a glance at the door and then back at the bull tossing their friends like a fucking salad.

“Speak of the devils.” Logan's attention was brought to the two men when they hopped over the fence to help James stand back up and dust him off. Cracking jokes with him, while the other went to the machine panel to change the setting. Logan took in their appearances.

The one with James had caramel toned skin with black coily hair under a dirty baseball cap. He was very well built and looked like his muscles were made of rock, Logan guessed he was around the same height as Finn. He was wearing a black shirt with the sleeve cut off low enough to show off his abdomen. He had on some dark dusty jeans and brown square toes boots, looks like he just got off work somewhere dusty. The man looked up to check out the crowd of newbies to the bar and Logan took note of his dark dark brown eyes, which landed on him and he saw the man smirk a little before leaning over to James to ask for the names of Finn and Logan. Rolling his eyes a little he decided to look at the other man.

Oh my.

Logan felt like he had been punched in the gut, this man had soft blonde curls wrapping around the rim of his old baseball cap that's backwards on his head. He was also tan but looked more golden like he was tanned under the sun. He couldn’t see his face from under the man's hat but he could see his hard muscles from under his incredibly tight tank top. He too was wearing jeans and square toed boots. Logan could tell this guy was taller than the other and he just wanted him. The veins in his arms and the strength of his hands made his grip tighten on his drink. He knew Finn was looking to by the way he could feel his hand flexing on his ass.

There was a song playing in the background that portrayed exactly how they felt.

“SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWBOY!” The bar cheered as the blonde boy swung his leg on the bull and grabbed the handle, nodding at his friend. The bull started thrashing around and all Finn and Logan could focus on was the way this guy isolated his body so the top half of him barely moved while his hips rotated with the machine, smoothly. As the bull got faster the tighter the guy gripped the handle the more veins showed in his arms. Logan took a drink while Finn took a drag.

When the man was finally flung off, he had won what Thomas and James were trying so desperately trying to win. When the man stood up he was right in front of Logan and Finn. Logan just about spit out his drink when he saw this man's face. Like it was chiseled from fucking god, dimples, electric blue eyes that shot electricity to their groins, sculpted eyebrows and a scar on bridge of his nose. He smiled and his teeth were perfect beside a chip on his left front tooth.

They had to have him. After hours of teasing looks and sexy line dances, which was a sentence Finn swore he would never say, they finally got this angel of a cowboy into their hotel room. His name was Leo, and god damn was he packing.

He was fucking into Logan as the smaller man fingered Finn open and sucked him off at the same time, Leo shifted a little to hit Logan's prostate, a loud moan was heard from around Finn’s cock. Logan pulled off of Finn and Pushed back on Leo like he couldn’t help it, catching Leo by surprise and asking him to pull out. Leo did because he was a literal angel.

Leo sat back on his heels and smoothed his hands over Logan's hips with a worried look in his eyes. “Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” His voice was heavy with lust and worry, that thick southern accent caused the other two to groan.

“Don’t you remember what song was playing when we first saw you?” Logan and Finn were now on their knees facing each other but looking at Leo with hungry eyes. Leo looked down as he thought for a moment, then it dawned on him. He looked up at them and smiled a little shy, he was about to say something but he was pushed back to lay down. He shuffles a little to get more comfortable, Finn and Logan both mentioned that they were switches so he had no clue what to expect when two extremely sex hockey players asked him into their bed. Clayton was jealous.

He groans as he feels Finn grind back onto his cock, he looks up at the red head and smiles Finn is definitely enjoying himself. Leo placed his hands on Finn’s hips to help him sink down on his cock, furrowing his brows he tries his best not to fuck up into Finn as he gets used to Leo. Which they did mention Finn hasn’t bottomed in a while but he really wanted to with Leo and that made him feel special. Leo opens his eyes from when he scrunched them shut to control himself, he sees Logan watching Finn and stroking himself. An idea comes onto Leo’s head, tapping on Logan's arm he wraps his hand around his bicep and pulls him over to him.

“How about you ride my face, sugarbug? Hmm?” Leo is pulled into an intense kiss as Finn finally sets a comfortable pace of fucking himself down on Leo. Logan maneuvers himself so he is straddling Leo’s face and facing Finn.

Leo grabs Logan's hips to pull him down on his face, nipping lightly at his rim he smirks at the shiver he feels from Logan, hearing the smacking of kisses he knows they are desperately close already. Leo starts working Logan open with his tongue as he plants his heels on the bed and fucks up into Finn. The boys are moaning his name loud enough he bets the people in the room next to them are hearing everything. Leo is getting close and he knows Logan is barely holding on, plunging his middle finger and tongue into his smaller lover, hitting his prostate head on, he feels Logan clench around him as a wet heat is felt on his chest.

Logan Moans out Leo’s name and then Finn’s as he pulls the red head into a sloppy kiss as Leo keeps his rhythm with Finn, fucking him steady and deep. Finn changes the rhythm and starts moving faster, desperate for that release. Logan reaches between them and starts to jerk Finn off in time with his thrusts, after a few strokes he feels Finn spilling into his hand. Leo groans and bites down on Logan's left booty cheek as he muffles his moan when he releases into the condom he's wearing. Resting his head back on the pillow he feels logan crawl off him.

Finn pulled off him and collapsed onto Leo’s chest with an oof. Leo chuckles and runs his hands through Finn’s hair, mesmerized by the red flowing through hands. He just wanted to hold these boys close and relax, which he hasn’t done in a while. Kissing the top of Finn’s head he hears a cute whimper from the man on top of him. Hiding his laugh in his hair Leo looks up at Logan who wanders back into the room with a warm washcloth. He slaps Finn’s ass causing the man to jolt and glare at Logan.

“Excuse you, I was being snuggled by a hot cowboy who just fucked the life out of me.” Leo laughs as Finn rolls off him, Logan tries to hide his smile but fails as he wipes the other two down. Hopping on top of them and wiggling his way between them and smiles.

“Well I want to cuddle the hot cowboy who just ate my soul out of my ass.” Leo laughs again and shakes his head wrapping his arms around bothering them.

“Shh! I want to silently cuddle with two hockey players who I just had the most intense orgasm with!” They all laugh and fall into comfortable silence with comforting touches and caresses until they fall asleep.

When Finn and Logan woke up in the morning Leo was already dressed and writing his number on the notepad next to Logan’s phone. He turns to look back at the bed and smiles when he sees the boys both sleepily reach for him. He crawls on the bed still having not put on his boots yet and gives them both a sweet kiss goodbye.

“Text me or call me anytime you want to talk.” He whispers to them as he pushes some hair out of Logan's face and rests his forehead on Finn’s cheek. He crawls away shoving his boots on and walking out the door. Morning chores need to be done.

They all felt it when Leo left, cold.

#leo knut #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #james potter #thomas walker #Clayton Bruss #o'knutzy #o’knutzy #lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast

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envythepalmtree · 3 years

Note

4, 10 and 14 from the ask game for "don't you dare look away"?

4. Where do your story ideas come from?

For don't you dare look away specifically, I got ideas from a lot of places. The concept of doing a long, multichapter character study came from delicate by lantur which is a character study of Riza. And reading Xingese Roy fics from non-east asian authors made me want a fic that I could relate to, that was similar to my own experiences.

I love pre-canon stories. It was two novels, The Rise of Kyoshi by FC Yee (prequel to ATLA) and Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (prequel to The Hunger Games) that really opened my eyes to how powerful a prequel story can be. Showing how the characters and the world develop into who they are in the canon timeline.

Another big one is my criticisms of canon. I tagged the fic as "technically canon compliant, (that's a new genre I invented where everything that happens in canon happens in the fic, BUT the fic narrative challenges or directly contradicts the canon narrative)"

And that might not make sense so I'll give an example. In the OVA Yet Another Man's Battlefield, we have 18-year-old Roy, Maes, and an Ishvalan kid named Heathcliff at the military academy.

I might expand this into a full criticism meta later, but the gist is: Heathcliff's harassed for being Ishvalan. Roy and Maes stand up for him. The way it's written, Heathcliff gets very little lines and (in my opinion) the racism isn't given much nuance. There's a part that goes like this:

Racist Bully Guy: Whoa. What are you doing, Hughes? We're you're friends?

Maes: You think so? You think I'm friends with cruel bullies?

Then he like. joins up with Roy to beat the guys up. It's very dramatic and framed as a whole "yeah we're good allies!!" moment.

I didn't like that, so here's how I wrote it:

“Whoa,” said Sven. “What are you doing, Hughes? We’re your friends!”

Hughes was now pointing his gun at the Year Twos. “You think so? You think I’m friends with cruel bullies?” (Hughes spat bullies as if it were the worst thing in the world.) “I hate people like you!”

Roys eyes widened.

Hughes smiled at Roy. (Not at the Ishvalan kid.) “The object is victory.”

“Heh,” said Roy. “Focus on it.”

[then they get in a fist fight with the Racist Bully Guys™]

10. When you write fics, how much of canon are you willing to ignore/skip over?

For don't you dare look away, at least, I think I mostly answered that one above! With my fancy new genre Technically Canon Compliant I like to keep all the events and dialogue while changing the themes/messaging completely :))

With Technically Canon Compliant, another thing I like to do is pick and choose which dialogue/settings/order of events I want from different versions. The manga and Brotherhood have different settings for scenes like Roy's conversation with Berthold before his death and the conversation about personal responsibility with Kimblee. Both change the story in slightly different ways.

It was also kinda fun going "well, I like this manga sentence better than the Brotherhood eng dub sentence, but then I like this eng dub sentence better" and recreating the dialogue using the translations I like the most.

14. How do you come up with chapter titles?

!!! chapter titles!!

So here are my chapter titles:

[Text:

1. wash away

2. burn down

3. the stars I need to be

4. noble gases

5. wash away (noble gases)

6. hand in hand with destiny (noble gases)

7. burn up (noble gases)

8. alkaline earth

9. wash up (alkaline earth)

10. burn up (alkaline earth)

11. halogens

12. wash down (halogens)

13. i can earn the wax and wick (halogens)

14. lanthanides

15. burn down (lanthanides)

16. wash down burn away (lanthanides)

17. don't you dare look away (lanthanides)

End text]

The 2 things you probably noticed:

Most of them have either "wash" or "burn" and a direction

Are those words from high school chemistry class??

Addressing the first point: yes yes yes!! I like water and fire imagery as much as the next writer, but what I was obsessed with specifically for don't you dare look away were the actions that those two things do. Washing and burning.

Roy's mom was named Chong 冲 which means "wash away." Her parents named her that because her family was going through some hard times when she was born, so they named her Chong to wash away their bad luck.

She gave Roy the Xingese name Feng 烽 which means fire, but not in the destructive sense. It means light and warmth and good things. Roy does not use his Xingese name.

Fun fact: In irl Chinese culture, you'd never give your kid a fire name if you had a water name. It would bring bad luck. And obviously Chong and Roy both had such good luck :)

And for the second point!! I divided the fic into five sections, each focused on a different period of Roy's life. Four of them are arcs that are named after a group of elements in the periodic table.

Intro arc: Age 4-6

No chemistry name for this one because Roy hasn't become obsessed with alchemy yet!

Noble gases arc: Age 10-12

The noble gases are at the very end of each row on the periodic table. They have a full valence shell and aren’t in need of any more electrons; they’re satisfied. They don’t react with any other elements, like a stuck-up noble who has no need to interact with peasants.

For a while, Roy was a happy child. He also looked down on those he felt higher than.

Alkaline Earth Metals: Teenage years

The alkaline earth metals are the second group on the periodic table. They’re shiny, silvery-white, and readily lose their two outermost electrons. They have low densities, low melting points, and low boiling points. In other words, they melt and boil easily.

Roy is young and has a few things to lose. He’s naive, unexposed to the world, and has shiny dreams.

Halogens: Military academy

Halogens are nonmetals in group 17 of the periodic table - the penultimate elements. Missing only one valence electron, they’re extremely reactive because if only they had one more element to fill their shell, they would be complete.

Roy just needs to prove himself. If he can erase his flaws, the parts of himself that aren’t the perfect Amestrian soldier, he’ll be complete.

Lanthanide series: The Ishval genocide

The lanthanide series is a group of silvery-white metals that tarnish when exposed to air. They burn easily, but commonly bind to water.

Roy joined the military as a naive, idealistic young man and was exposed to the reality of what his country was when he committed atrocities on orders. He burned so many, easy as a snap. Then he bonded himself onto a path to heal the country.

Gosh I'm so proud of that.

Anyway!! The promo post is here and you can read don't you dare look away here.

#don't you dare look away #xingese roy #roy mustang #aure writes fic #fma fanfiction #aure speaks

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the-nysh · 3 years

Note

...was anyone else kind of underwhelmed by this chapter? idk, it just feels like a bunch of stuff is happening but nothing... is... really... happening? i do not want to become a webcomic purist but i genuinely thinking that this arc was better, narratively stronger in the wc :(

The vibe's certainly different as a chaotic, free-for-all battlefield that hasn't coalesced into any main single points of 'focus' (yet), but I expect that to change and shift in tone as Garou remains the area's strongest 'threat' for the survivors to focus on, cause at the moment, most groups are being literally bombarded, spread thin, and can't afford to spare their manpower/attention on him. D: Which is actively proceeding in full force and the battle's yet to change/shift into something else major.

The other big change from the wc is that, Garou's physically arrived, but he's not here yet either. You know what I mean? (So it's nice to see him, but it's not 'awesome' yet until he awakens for real.) So yee I'm not screaming with the usual hype yet either, cause he's not quite here! :O His mind's not alert and making judgments or observations, nor are we getting any thoughts or spoken lines from him. Unlike the wc where he was ominously observing under the moon (spouting cryptic lines) and crept into focus behind the scenes like a nocturnal predator from the shadows. (So manga Garou's more explosive/feral energy, jumping right into the fray, is different from that too.)

But you know what I realized? When manga Garou faced Gyoro he said, "I hate people who just watch from on high. I want to drag them down." And...that would have contradicted with a similar wc Garou arrival sitting high up observing the battle like that. So I can kinda understand why ONE & Murata may have changed that to Homeless Emperor sitting in his old wc moonlight position, cause manga Garou's distaste probably would have slapped wc Garou for doing that! aha!

Also instead of hype, the ch mainly brought me a sense of relief, cause I was pretty nervous how this current (unconscious?) Garou might react. If he had gone straight for Fubuki or targeted the downed TTM (or even landed a hit on her) then...[X] nuh-uh, that would've been an ooc foul, especially worse if he'd been conscious committing those acts. Nope nope, that scenario would've been off-putting! D: So here he is instead, seemingly still not 'awake,' occupied in a feral scuffle trading blows with Bomb, and split off from Fubuki for Bang to arrive. And aha~ I'm squinting here kinda recognizing what ONE & Murata are calculating as tradeoffs for his different manga arrival so that Garou's character/appeal doesn't get compromised. Cause again, he's not fully 'here' or awake yet, so he can do a little feral rampaging as a tease (like in the Darkshine fight) without it impacting his conscious decisions....and presenting it in a controlled enough way that he's not violently thrashing at women or the injured (whoops that'd be bad), or tearing off limbs or caving in body parts like the other cadres are doing. (I can see ONE wanting to stress how he's different from them.) Garou's still consistently and notably non-lethal in comparison to them, even while seemingly still 'asleep,' so that's important for ONE to maintain so he doesn't break any major character fouls. :'D So phew~ a big sigh of relief from me for that!

But yeah, until Garou awakens for real (and we get some of his actual thoughts/lines) or more awaited characters arrive, then several 'main' things still have yet to happen. For now, I'm eager to see what Bang's gonna do, and what it'll take to snap this current Garou to awareness!

#opm #garou #manga spoilers #umnokorito #replies #i'm welcoming the wc changes while kinda understanding why for those other details #esp so that even while unconscious garou can do stuff where it doesn't break or compromise his character if he'd been awake #so hrmm~ i can sense some of those tradeoffs for this different manga approach

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erzsebetrosztoczy · 3 years

Note

Hit me with it, what's Sitting in the Dark about?

Sounds like a horror story lead in?

Okay soo😏😏😏 First things first: thank you for the ask darling, appreciate it!😊😘😘

This is one of the two hungarian stories of mine, which i only writing in my native language -for now muhahahah- and this is the title of the last chapter from it. I started writing it i think back in 2017 on Wattpad (im still on it tho) and i haven't finished it ever since🤣

It's based on the events from Ac Syndicate with an OC, adding a detective, Sherlock Holmes style into it. It's not a horror story, but has realy heavy aspects to it, i try to linger on topics like abandonment issues, toxic relationships, burnouts and how the protag copes with them, heals from them.

For this chap, it's titled so "dark" because the main character truly hit a low point in her life, and for now she just embraces it, can't fight against it. The traumas, the not stopping life events of misfortune really affected her and she tried to push them down, hide then in herself, but now is the time when it all crushes to the surfice giving her a real hard time to focus on the things she needs to do for survival. Yes i love torturing them lmao

But nowadays i didn't had the time nor the inspiration to write it, Valhalla gave me a complete different vibe and i couldn't swap back to Syndicates yee old victorian england time yet.

#asks #ask #retiredat50

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dingdongrumba · 4 years

Note

DOES THE GAME FOR A3! HAVE STUFF ABOUT THE WINTER TROUPE PLEASE I NEED MORE I LOVE THIS GROUP ALREADY ESPECIALLY MR. SLEEPYHEAD

YEE BRO I mean I think the anime so far is like halfway through chapter 4??? Anyway the game is now up to chapter 7 and uuhhhh no spoilers but there’s more stuff about Hisoka in chapter 5

Also the thing about the game is that there’s the events that have extra stories and they focus on a couple characters, like in the english server they already did 2 more plays per troupe so yeah theres more lol

AND THATS NOT COUNTING ALL THE OTHER EVENTS AND PLAYS FROM THE JP SERVER you can find translations of those in the wikia and just around the community in general, they even started doing mixed troupe plays and shit like that but I don’t know much about those since I’m an eng server only skfjsdkfd

POINT IS there’s a lot more content!!!! The eng server just celebrated its first anniversary but I think the game is like 3 years old at this point??? so yea they’re constantly adding new stories and stuff!!

#but yea again no spoilers but #theres more info about hisoka in ch 5 #wink wonk #a3!#Anonymous #answered

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sablelab · 4 years

Text

Covert Operations - Chapter 116

SCENAIRO: Fergus bluffs his way out of a sticky situation when Joe Abernathy finds him and Murtagh in the unrestricted area. Meanwhile Colum’s meeting with Operations and Madeline in Committee does not go well.

Chapter 115 and all other chapters can be found at … https://sablelab.tumblr.com/covertoperations

THANK YOU to all reading and enjoying this story. A lot of what I have written is leading to other things that will impact on the Rising Dragons’ mission and the relationships between the characters in this story. Thanks for coming along on this ride with me.

CHAPTER 116

Joe Abernathy looked at Fergus Claudel who had appeared as if from out of nowhere to stand next to his friend. However, although he had no cause to doubt Fergus’ statement that he had clearance especially given the job he had to do at Section, Joe Abernathy was still a little skeptical as to his reasons for being on Level 5.

It was most irregular that Fergus would be on this level and more so for someone from Munitions. No doubt while his friend went about his business Murtagh had decided to tag along eager to do some researching of his own whilst hoping not to get caught out. The fact that he was on this level was puzzling yet Fitzgibbons was always a little recalcitrant as far as obeying orders went and his excuse seemed a plausible thing. After all he was an excellent operative in his own right and having just returned from a mission that was fraught with danger the man was undoubtedly still running high on adrenalin having been back in the field. Murtagh’s excuse of wanting to compare past missions was not at all out of the realms of possibility for the older operative. Nevertheless, Abernathy eyed each man suspiciously as they stood defiantly before him. He was curious as to Fergus’ presence on this classified level for someone from Systems here with a weapons expert from Munitions. Turning his attention towards Murtagh, Abernathy looked at him knowing he could easily cut him some slack this one time without letting Operations or Madeline know of his breach of protocol. He had always liked and respected Fitzgibbons as he did James Fraser. He was an integral part of why missions were successful. Fergus too was like the little brother who kept them safe and his tactical direction and skill during missions was critical. This should prove most interesting, Joe thought as he began to question Fergus. “How did you get access to this level?” “I’ve already told you … I had clearance.” “From whom?” the operative insisted. Fergus stood his ground gaining more confidence by the moment. “I can't tell you that.” “Why not? … What are you doing here?” The young techie seemed to grow another inch. He stood up straighter then replied with bravado. “I’m tracing a linkage factor.” Abernathy was surprised at his answer. “For whom?” he wanted to know. “Section Four, Northern Europe.” “Why would they use you?” Looking at Abernathy, Fergus gave him a blank expression. “That's all I can tell you.” Murtagh was so proud of his little buddy for having the temerity to stand up to Joe Abernathy’s probing questioning. He was quietly applauding his gumption given that they were here without the clearance the Level 5 operative required. Murtagh only hoped that Fergus wouldn’t have to show any documentation supporting his claim. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought that his nervy friend was capable of doing such a thing. Standing beside him Murtagh hoped that his presence was giving Fergus extra strength to bluff his way through Abernathy’s little inquisition. His thoughts were answered in spades when he heard what his buddy said next. “If you want to know more, you could ask Operations … If you do, he'll want to know what you were doing down here.” “Which Bureau Op?” Abernathy persisted ignoring his jibe but also knowing that Fergus was unable to answer. “You know I can't tell you that ... so why ask? Now if you will excuse us, we have work to do.” “Okay Fergus … Fine ... I’ll leave you to it then.” The two operatives watched as a perplexed yet placated Joe Abernathy turned and walked away towards the elevator, then moved so that they could see him enter the shaft. Unbeknownst to the two friends, Joe Abernathy had a slight smile on his face as he strode away. The stoic operative knew that the two operatives were up to something they shouldn’t be, but that was not his concern and he wouldn’t report them. If they had the daring to access something on this level … which he knew would be near impossible … then he wished them luck. Murtagh and Fergus would need a lot of it for all files on this level were as secure as could be. Knowing they were watching his every move, Abernathy let the doors close without turning to see the concern in their body language before letting out a raucous laugh which echoed loudly in the confined space of the elevator. Fergus and Murtagh stayed where they were until they saw the doors close behind him, then they breathed a collective sigh of relief. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Meanwhile at Committee two pairs of eyes were raised in the direction of the hastened footfalls as they echoed on the ramp leading down into the room. Madeline watched as the two men stood when she entered in acknowledgement of her arrival. As she came closer, she saw an inquisitive expression cross Operations’ face as to why she had taken so long to get here. She hoped her look was enough to appease his anger and that she would explain why once Colum had left. Her eyes then glanced towards Colum Mackenzie who stood waiting for her to descend to the bottom of the ramp. “Gentlemen! My apologies. Sorry I'm late and that you had to wait before starting our meeting, but I had some pressing business to attend to. I was also waylaid.” Colum waited as she approached them. “No apologies are necessary Madeline. It’s good to see you.” He leaned in and kissed her on both cheeks. “Hello, Colum.” “You look well.” “Thank you.” Walking over to where Operations stood, Madeline held his gaze for a moment before continuing. “Please sit down everyone. Let us begin.” “How are things in Section One?” “We’re maintaining our success rate Colum,” Madeline specified with conviction. “Yes, I’ve seen the numbers.” Irritated with his presence, Operations then stated the obvious. “We weren't expecting you.” Colum Mackenzie turned around slowly and looked him in the face. “No Dougal … I’m sure you weren’t,” he replied with a smugness that grated on Operations’ nerves even more. “But I like to make impromptu visits to keep abreast of how things are going in all the Sections, not just One.” Realising that the two combatants were getting a little testy, Madeline smiled at Colum which averted his attention away from Operations. “Colum … You know we always look forward to your visits to Section. So … what brings you here this time?” “I heard an interesting rumour last night.” “What was that?” Operations asked nonchalantly. “I’m sure you can guess without me having to spell it out brother.” “Oh … What makes you think that?” “You must realize by now that nothing escapes me at Oversight where One is concerned.” “I’m sure you are kept well informed Colum, so what have you heard?” Madeline and Operations shared a look when Colum nodded in a way that suggested that he was just getting wound up and was about to drop a bombshell. “It sounds like things are deteriorating here at One.” Ignoring his preposterous statement Operations replied indignantly. “That doesn't sound right, what's your source?” Colum refused to answer and merely twisted the knife in a little more. “Section has failed to capture Sun Yee Lok or any other triad members of the Rising Dragons despite having the two best operatives on the mission.” “We’re getting closer. We’re doing what we can,” Madeline placated. “That’s not what I’ve heard. We keep tabs on these things.” Colum looked at Operations when he spoke. They both shared an icy look. “Frankly, there’s a feeling at Oversight that you’ve lost some focus on this mission. Am I right?” “Is there an answer that would satisfy you?” Dougal asked giving his brother a deathly stare. “Not really.” “Then why ask?” “I withdraw the question.” An icy resolve filled the room with neither man giving an inch. Perhaps Colum did have an informant in Section after all, Madeline thought then if so this was a matter of urgency then if information was being exchanged unbeknownst to them. She tried to stem the tide of discontent. “You’ve been misinformed Colum … that couldn’t be further from the truth. We're at 93%. Is there any other department that has that kind of efficiency? What you call losing focus, we call creative methodology. If anything, we are closer than ever before to bringing the Rising Dragons’ mission to its end game.” Colum Mackenzie raised an eyebrow at her reply, then cryptically directed his question to Operations. “Are you sure you’ll be able to?” “Of course,” was his terse reply. “Part of competence is knowing when to ask for help brother,” was Colum’s comeback remark. “I didn't think I needed any,” Operations replied glaring at him. He realized that this visit was indeed different from his past ones. “Do you ever think you need any … brother? Don’t bother to answer that,” he gesticulated. “I already know what you’ll say.” The stalemate continued. Neither man was giving the other an inch. Colum then continued with an arrogance that couldn’t be ignored. “On another matter, I heard that Jamie and Claire have returned to Section One.” “Yes that’s true.” Madeline replied wondering where he was heading with this questioning. The Oversight leader then went in for the kill. “I also believe that both are injured and won’t be returning to the Rising Dragons’ mission.” He glanced at Operations again. “What are you going to do about Sun Yee Lok if your best two operatives are incapacitated? Is the mission now in jeopardy? Oversight will view that scenario poorly if all the time and resources have been for naught. Heads could roll.” The look Operations gave Colum was lethal. Their worst-case scenario had just surfaced. He was furious with what he was insinuating … Colum saw their leadership at Section One as incompetent and he alluded to this with his next words. “That’s what I meant earlier about asking for help Dougal. It seems to Oversight that One needs assistance with personnel for the Rising Dragon’s mission because of Jamie and Claire’s injuries. Failure to ask for assistance however, is an error in judgement and it will have to go in your file I’m afraid.” “And what effect will that have?” “That's for Center and Mr. Lambert to decide but my report about Section’s loss of direction concerning the Rising Dragons’ mission has to be completed,” he answered with veiled glee aware that Section’s leader was seething at his response. “I see,” Dougal replied barley hiding his contempt for his superior from Oversight. His dislike for his brother Colum had just increased one hundred-fold. Meanwhile after dodging another bullet … Fergus and Murtagh looked at each other after the elevator doors closed. Raising his hand to his forehead, Fergus could feel a bead of sweat as it trickled down his brow. He was decidedly more nervous than he’d been before. Being caught by Abernathy had been close … far too close for comfort for him. What had initially appeared as a relatively easy endeavour was rapidly developing into a catastrophe. They could be facing abeyance if Madeline and Operations ever found out they had tried to access a restricted area. Fergus wondered what would befall them next if they continued on with their plan. He glanced towards Murtagh and wondered if he was thinking the same thing. “Hey … that was close. I think we should abort. This situation is getting far too dangerous. We’ve had one mishap after another. There have been far too many close shaves.” “What? With Abernathy?” “Yes!” “Ah … that was nothing. I’ve had more close shaves than you’ve had hot dinners and that my friend was a piece of cake.” “Are you serious Murtagh?” “Absolutely … You were magnificent amigo.” “Really?” “Really … I’m proud of you.” “But Murtagh … there may be more obstacles to come that we don’t know about. Joe Abernathy may renege and report us to Operations. What then?” “Nah … he won’t do that. You saw the look on his face.” “How can you be so sure? He terrified me …” “Because he’s not 100% sure. You were very convincing and your explanation was plausible. He won’t report us. Trust me.” “I do, but that doesn’t make me feel any less apprehensive. I still think we should abort this caper before anything else can go wrong.” “Where’s your sense of adventure? Your bravado? Come on …” Murtagh cajoled. Fergus looked at him, knowing that his friend would win. He couldn’t let his bestie take all the blame if he continued on alone and was caught. “Okay …” was his reluctant reply, “… but if there is one more thing that goes wrong … that’s it!” “Deal!” Murtagh reluctantly replied. “Say … that device of yours doesn’t indicate hot spots, does it Fergus? If it does, then you would be wise to use it I think. If there are any here then we’ll abort.” Fergus took the device from his pocket and activated the scanner. The reading was cold. “Good … let’s go then,” Murtagh replied his enthusiasm once again heightened. Back in Committee … Operations was as mad as hell at all of Colum’s statements and Madeline knew it, but they could ill afford for the situation to blow up in their faces. She needed to handle this carefully. Preparing to defend their stance regarding the mission and their handling of it, Section’s head strategist went into damage control mode.

“We have planned from the onset for such a situation should anything happen to Jamie and Claire and we are implementing that as we speak.” She eyed her superior with a coolness indicative of her nature. The leader of Oversight looked at her then Operations. He smiled enigmatically then replied. “Good … I’m pleased to hear that … I would expect nothing less from you.” His answer was perplexing as too was his tone. “Was this some sort of test Colum? Are you just toying with us?” Madeline asked incredulously. “I think it was more a warped game he’s playing,” Operations added steaming with indignation. “How dare you waltz in here with those accusations about our leadership at Section One and insinuate that we are incompetent, then do a complete about face as if it was all a joke.” Colum Mackenzie stood back and watched as his younger brother Dougal, threw daggers at him with his looks. He knew that he had managed to gain the upper hand for once. Pushing Dougal’s buttons had been invigorating but what had made it all the more interesting was seeing Section’s leader’s reaction to his finger pointing. Consequently, Colum ignored Operations’ response when he replied.

“This problem concerning the Rising Dragons’ mission has been resolved then. I trust that all your contingency plans are also in order.” With a ramrod back Operations stated, “There is no problem Colum … you’re very sadly mistaken. There never was nor will there be a problem.” It was particularly satisfying to Colum to note his reaction which pleased him no end. Unfortunately, he also knew that Operations would want the gamesmanship the next time they met but he was up for the challenge. Their little disagreements always were challenging. No doubt future ones would be also, he contemplated wily. “Of course, Dougal … my mistake.” “You seem to make a few of them where Section One is concerned don’t you brother? It would appear that you need to get your facts straight.” Enjoying the banter immensely the head of Oversight stared Operations down. Dougal’s retort was not unexpected. Colum knew he was a hot head at any time, but when he’d threatened the integrity of Section One both he and Madeline were staunch in its defence.

“I wanted to know how you would react under pressure Dougal. Well now I know,” was Colum’s only consent to his statement. Then without looking at either Madeline or Operations again or elaborating further he stood up to leave. “I should be going I have to be in Stockholm. I'm sorry that I can't stay around longer and chat. Things seem to be running satisfactorily here after all. I should be able to convince Oversight to keep their hands off One ... for now.” “Fine,” was the brusque answer from Operations. His fury at being duped was still simmering perhaps even more than before. If looks could kill Colum Mackenzie would have been a dead man. He felt the piercing glances of his adversary stabbing him in the back but he refused to acknowledge or give credence to what had just evolved. Nevertheless, he knew at some time in the future they would lock horns again. Making his way up the ramp he stopped suddenly and turned back to observe the two Section Leaders watching his retreat. “Oh, by the way, there is one last thing,” he announced smugly. “And what’s that Colum?” was Operations’ barbed reply. His next parting words indicated that Oversight was well aware that the Rising Dragons’ mission was reliant on Jamie and Claire’s involvement. “As I’m unable to check on James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp at this time, I’m sure you are doing your utmost to see that your two best operatives get the proper care, attention and the time needed for a full recovery so they can return to the mission. I will expect to hear that has occurred.” Colum Mackenzie noticed their reaction to his statement. Although he was not convinced that what they had said was completely honest about their two operatives and the mission, he would leave them in no doubt of Oversights’ objectives. Dougal and Madeline would be under no allusion that he was well abreast of the Rising Dragons’ mission and would thwart any attempt by the two of them to jeopardize it in any way. “I'm not asking you to do anything, you half-wit Dougal, I am ordering you, but If you have this well in hand then your contingency plans won’t be necessary … will they?” he stated with authority. Then staring down his brother he added, “Do you not even have a nod to acknowledge the orders of your superior?” His words were not open to interpretation and this left Madeline and Operations in no doubt that Oversight expected that Jamie and Claire be given sufficient downtime to recuperate. He had no redress but to agree. Enunciating his words succinctly Operations replied, “Of course.” “I’ll expect Section to have something more concrete to report to Oversight in the future once Jamie and Claire have recovered.”

Watching their body language Colum knew that Section One’s leaders were not at all happy with his visit this time. He’d managed to throw them off kilter, but he deliberately disregarded the tension that had built considerably between the three of them, instead he looked at one and then the other.

“You see to it that he follows my orders Madeline in all matters. And just so that I know that your mind is focused on my wishes I may very well send someone from Oversight to monitor the situation. Goodbye Dougal … Madeline.” “Colum.” Ignoring their acerbic reply he then left without another glance back. Colum Mackenzie was pleased that he had managed to put a cat among the pigeons during this visit although he also knew Madeline and Operations would seek payback the next time he arrived. However, he would wait in anticipation for that encounter for it would no doubt come sooner than later. Flummoxed, Operations and Madeline watched Colum leave then looked at each other each with the same expression on their face. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~to be continued Friday 1st May

#Jamieandclairefanfic #jamieandclairecrossover #LFNoutlander #outlander fanfic #covert operations

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eternalgirlscout · 4 years

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a while back @lesbians4sokka (i think? sorry for @ing you if i’m thinking of a different blog) asked me to share my thoughts about The Rise of Kyoshi, and seeing as i just finished the book last night (because i am a monster who gets most of the way through a book and thinks “if i keep reading it’ll be over i can’t have that”) i’m finally doing it now!

this got long as hell OOPS

spoilers under the cut

I want to talk about vengeance and justice in this novel.

back when I was only maybe a third of the way through it, i said on twitter that i was excited to see an avatar with an “opposite moral trajectory” to aang; in AtLA, aang has to learn to value justice over conflict avoidance, whereas RoK’s kyoshi has to prioritize justice over revenge. they come to similar conclusions from wildly different starting points. now that i’ve finished the book, i can’t decide how much i stand by that assessment. it feels reductive--which is a testament to the strength of F.C. Yee’s storytelling. while yes, aang and kyoshi both learn a great deal about justice, they act justly in very different ways.

aang, for reasons i like and appreciate from storytelling, ethical, and characterization perspectives (if you haven’t read my The Lion Turtle Is Good, Actually manifesto, you are legally obligated to do so now) has a strict rule about how he enacts justice that aligns with his beliefs and duties to the legacy of the air nomads. rather than killing people who abuse power to oppress others, he takes away the mechanism by which they accomplish violence--namely, their bending. in LoK we see that he continues to use this ability as an alternative to taking a life for at least most of his career as the avatar when he takes yakone’s bending.

kyoshi, on the other hand, has a very different philosophical development and ultimate approach to justice. her last conversation with lao ge summarizes the conflict between the mode of justice that works for aang (though obviously AtLA takes place chronologically after RoK, the novel is well aware that the reader has almost certainly seen the series first and takes ideas and details from it to flesh out the world, which i think is another strength of Yee’s) and the mode of justice she creates for herself.

“I feel... inconsistent. Unfair. Like I should have either killed them both or let them both live.”

...

“If you had a strict rule, maybe, to always show mercy or always punish, you could use it as a shield to protect your spirit. But that would be distancing yourself from your duty. Determining the fates of others on a case-by-case basis, considering the infinite combinations of circumstance, will wear on you like rain on the mountain... You will never be perfectly fair, and you will never be truly correct,” Lao Ge said. “This is your burden.” (405)

the stark difference between aang’s philosophical background and kyoshi’s leads them to very different outcomes with regard to their choices as the avatar. yes, aang makes decisions on a case-by-case basis as well, but he is not interested in retribution as much as restoration and has a line he will not cross. i could argue that kyoshi sees the two (retribution, restoration) as inextricable in the pursuit of justice.

but what about vengeance?

kyoshi’s hatred of her parents wears away over the course of the novel, but her need to enact revenge on jianzhu only becomes more urgent. she is not universally vengeful, but she does not let go of revenge as a goal until she has it... sort of.

speaking of which, i fucking screamed when yun showed up again. i had a feeling we hadn’t seen the last of him, but the timing of his appearance and the change in him hit me like a lightning bolt. sorry, i have to gush for a second about how interested i am in what’s up with him. i am a sucker for a literal dead boy walking, for someone who has been turned into something Other by forces outside their control, and no matter what kyoshi ends up having to do to deal with him, i know i’m going to go feral for it. this is a Yun Stan Account until further notice.

anyway. it’s fascinating that kyoshi doesn’t actually get her revenge per se. yun does. he avenges himself, and it (likely) only causes more problems for kyoshi. and i think the distinction between vengeance and justice is quite wonderfully articulated afterwards:

How could such a container [as Jianzhu’s body] have held the volume of her anguish, her wrath? If any feeling at all pressed through the numbness... it was the ire of a hoodwinked child who’d been promised the end of her bedtime story only to see the candle-lights snuffed and the door slam shut. She was a girl alone in the dark. (430)

she gets the outcome she wanted: jianzhu dead. but her path to him “simply ended.” she has pragmatic advantages now that he’s out of the way--freedom, for one thing, and rangi’s safety, but those weren’t the things that drove her to want her revenge. there is a hollowness to it, a lack of catharsis. revenge is about the self, not the other.

and selfhood is something else kyoshi gives up.

one of the most striking lines in this novel appears when she walks into the tea house to meet jianzhu. at this point, kyoshi has assembled a motley outfit of expensive armor, theater costume pieces, battle accessories, outlaw facepaint, and bending aids for the heretical air nomad. she looks fucking weird. she’s like a video game PC wearing all the highest-stat armor she could loot from random dungeons and none of it matches. literally an assemblage of the places she’s been and the people who have helped her.

This was who she was now. This was her skin. This was her face. (418)

as the avatar, kyoshi has to be a symbol more than a person, even though she is fundamentally a human being as fallible as anyone else. the people who hear of her defeat of xu think she’s a spirit or a dragon in human disguise--regardless of what kyoshi wants and who she is, the world expects her to be something More. so, she gets dressed up and gives them what they need to see.

watching that transformation over the course of one novel is incredible. the path from the girl she is at the start of the novel to the woman we see advise aang that only justice will bring peace is far from over, but the trajectory is more than established. i’m really excited to see what Yee brings to another novel. kyoshi is just getting started.

some other miscellaneous thoughts:

i loved the choice to have a YA writer write this novel. not just for the obvious reason that Avatar is a franchise primarily for kids and teens, but because a lot of the common stylistic elements in YA fiction serve this story incredibly well. (by no means are any of these universal, of course; YA is a broad category of literature with huge stylistic and generic diversity, but in general it has these strengths.) the third person limited pov that switches between various characters gives a vital breadth to the story. there are a lot of moving pieces, and being able to see most of them in real time cuts back on exposition and heightens tension when you can watch their collision course. the focus on the given pov character’s interiority is put to incredible use, especially on the occasions when kyoshi enters the avatar state--and when it’s revealed that jianzhu hides things from even the reader, it becomes all the more staggering what a cunning bastard he is (jianzhu hate blog right here). kyoshi’s blushy crush on yun and even blushier crush on rangi are so good and are woven naturally into the story (bi fuckin rights babey!). that’s a teen with a big heart right there. also, fun swerve to the love triangle trope to get one of the love interests eaten by a spirit a few chapters in! his mind...

the part where kyoshi runs through a stone wall and leaves a kyoshi-shaped hole had me rolling, not just because i was impressed by how well that visual gag worked in prose but also because i can’t believe neither (to my memory) AtLA nor LoK pulled that.

HIDDEN PASSAGE... HIDDEN PASSAGE... THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS...

again i say: bi fucking RIGHTS

and i guess that’s all. stay tuned for the masterpost of Rise of Kyoshi memes i made as i read the book because i have a whole folder of them

#rise of kyoshi #Avatar!verse #meta #more or less. mostly just rambling #do not expect formal coherency from this i just got excited #liked the ending a lot! liked the characters! liked it as a piece of avatar lore!

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noodlenibblescribble · 5 years

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Crystal Gem Spinel AU Part 8

I hope yall enjoyed the fluff last chapter cuz yee, angst is back with a vengeance. I am not a happy noodle writing so much of this :,,,D aaaah, but I do take breaks when it overwhelms me. Like in the form of ChocoMimi, a manga series I grew up with, and the absolutely purifying show that is Epithet Erased. Please. I beg of you, dear reader, if you are in need of soul cleansing. This. Is. The. Cutest. Show. Please do not be swayed by the animations that seem lacking! The art is so cute and amazing, and the VOICE ACTORS AND WRITING BREAAAATHES LIFE. (also Giovanni is just the perfect soup dad. I adore him. He is an all-time favorite character for me right along with Spinel. He is such a good surrogate dad/older brother. You want supportive goofy villain/found family? This. Nothing gets better than this.)

Ok, sorry for that :,,D I…. didn’t realize it but I REALLY needed that series to get through this hahaa. Anyways, on with da show~!

Part 1 & 2: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/187546841874/another-crystal-gem-spinel-au

Part 3: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/187595107454/crystal-gem-spinel-au-part-3

Part 4: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/187679185279/crystal-gem-spinel-au-part-4

Part 5: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/187812730494/crystal-gem-spinel-au-part-5

Part 6: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/188033669204/crystal-gem-spinel-au-part-6

Part 7: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/189053664799/crystal-gem-spinel-au-part-7

Part 7.5: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/189344446834/crystal-gem-spinel-au-part-75

When Spinel left, it felt was like there was a hole.

Garnet was at her wits end. She felt Sapphire’s quiet and cold rage seep through her every action.

She tried to be understanding to Rose, but her voice kept a concerned edge. She tried to comfort Pearl, but her hands shook as she tried to grab her. She tried explaining to Amethyst what would happen, but she couldn’t form the words.

She was powerless; she was crumbling under the weight of her vision.

And she was the one Rose was entrusting everyone to.

Garnet sat, alone and still in the palm of the Temple Fusion’s hand. The gems were gone, off in their own distractions. She was by herself.

She had so many responsibilities now. She had so much to check up on. But she didn’t want to do anything. She was so scared, she wanted to stop thinking.

She wanted to stop existing.

She was whole, but she felt alone.

With the intrusive thought, she popped, and out came Ruby and Sapphire.

They landed on the floor with their backs, but neither made a move to get up. They just laid there, staring at the sky in silence for a while. Minutes passed, birds flew by, before Ruby broke a bird song.

“So this is happening….”

Sapphire nodded to herself. She entwined her hands together in her chest and spoke.

“It is…”

Another silence, then Ruby continued.

“We’re going to be the leaders….”

A hum.

“Rose is going to leave us….”

“Yes…”

“She’ll never come back..!”

“Indeed…”

“AND IN HER PLACE, WE’RE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF A BABY?!”

“Most certainly.”

Ruby jumped up, her usual heat coming on.

“A HUMAN. BABY. NO- A GEM AND HUMAN FUSION? HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS?! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!? WE CAN’T TAKE CARE OF A BABY! WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM! ABOUT HUMANS! ROSE AND SPINEL ARE THE EXPERTS! WE-“

Ruby stopped, gripping her hair in frustration and growling. Sapphire took this as her cue to get up.

“This… THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

“It isn’t.”

“Why is she leaving us?”

“With her fascinations with growth and being human, this path should’ve been obvious…”

“But it’s so… FAST! WE DON’T EVEN GET A YEAR TO PREPARE! To say bye properly! We have so much to do to get ready, and Rose is just spending it with GREG!”

“She needs to make sure her pregnancy goes the way she intends. Her focus should be on that.”

“But that means she has no time for us! US! Her friends since….. FOREVER AGO!” Ruby is crying now. Sapphire jumps in with a hug, wishing she could cry too, but the tears were yet to hit her.

Ruby clung to her and sobbed, nuzzling up to her neck. They stayed like that a bit, eventually moving to sit down, with Ruby’s head in Sapphire’s lap. Sapphire pet her head while she whimpered. Ruby had a lot to mourn, and she was taking her time. Once she was back to calming down a bit, though, she continued. But not for her sake.

“I miss Spinel…”

Sapphire’s soothing hand stopped.

Ruby took a breath, and kept going.

“She should be here. She should be helping us. She should be with Rose in her last moments.”

“Everyone reacts to grief differently. She just… needs her space.”

“Space? Ok. But when is she coming back?”

Sapphire paused for a bit, only to clench her fist and stay silent. Ruby could tell.

“She shouldn’t have left.”

“Rose is her oldest friend. She’s taking it a lot harder…”

“Have you looked at Pearl? We’re all suffering. She should know best how much we need each other right now. How much we need HER.”

Sapphire’s voice breaks.

“We can’t always rely on her, Ruby! She’s her own gem. She decided she wants to be alone.”

“And look at how well that turns out. Admit it, Sapphy. I know what you feel. I know you miss her too. I know you feel hurt too. Let it out!”

“Letting it out isn’t going to bring her back! Isn’t going to stop this from happening!”

“It won’t…” Ruby propped herself up and hugs Sapphire now, stroking her hair. “But it’s better than keeping it in us. Keeping it in YOU.”

Sapphire can’t fight them anymore. It’s her turn to cry and to be coddled. She agreed with everything Ruby said. She felt the world was being unfair. She felt like the rug was pulled from under her. She felt like a failure at not having seen this coming.

She felt so unprepared for it all, caught off guard and so VULNERABLE.

She was scared.

More minutes spent flubbering with emotions, but the catharsis that came with it was long overdue. Both gems were tiny wrecks, but when they were Garnet, they formed a bigger hassle. It felt good to have their turns talking it out to one another, even if it wasn’t ideal.

It helped them remember they were never alone.

Amethyst felt like she was missing a piece of the puzzle. She would scratch her head and ask the gems, but no one wanted to answer her. She greatly missed Spinel and considered many times to try to track her down, but she REALLY wanted to see the baby as soon as it came out.

Considering how Sour Cream looked and acted, she was half excited, half secretly dreading it’s debut.

For the twentieth time that week, Amethyst strolled into Vidalia’s kitchen, hopping over cracker snacks and pots and pans.

Sour Cream was definitely getting bigger now, but he was also becoming much more annoying.

“Heeey, V! What you up to today? I’m bored.”

Amethyst found her in the living room, dozing off. No Sour Cream in sight. Perfect!

She jumped onto her friend, like she used to. “VIIIVIIIII VIIIIDALIAAA~!”

Vidalia SCREAMED, and became a mess of flailing limbs. Amethyst laughed at her reaction but stopped when she didn’t hear any back. Vidalia was glowering at her, instead.

“That wasn’t funny. Do you know how little sleep I get?”

“Sleep? You? Since when do you need sleep to party?”

Vidalia sighed and rubbed her temples.

“We talked about this… You have to be more sensitive, Amethyst! You can’t just BURST in like you used to!”

Amethyst felt her defenses begin to build up. She didn’t like this tone of voice.

“But I WAS careful! There’s no Sour Cream here, so I thought-“

“Wait- WHAT? SOUR CREAM?! SOUR CREAM!?”

Vidalia began looking everywhere for him. Amethyst groaned, but helped. They eventually found him in the garage, where he made a fort with his mother’s paintings. Amethyst took the opportunity to suggest another painting session, this time with her in a new form~ But Vidalia had other plans.

“Amethyst… I’m sorry. Could you- please…. Let me be alone for a bit?”

Amethyst felt her cheeks flare up immediately.

“Alone? But you’re never alone! You’re always with him!” She jabbed a finger to Sour Cream, who merely stared.

“Yes, and that’s… just how it is now. Look…” Vidalia took a deep breath. “Amethyst… Sour Cream is growing up, but he is still a BABY.” Amethyst clicked her tongue in annoyance, Vidalia ignored it. “He needs me. Every hour, every day, I need to be with him and make sure he’s ok. Babies can’t do anything by themselves. Believe me, I’d much rather be hanging out with you like before, but….”

Vidalia let go of Sour Cream, and he headed back indoors. She put a foot inside the door, and gave Amethyst one last thought.

“With babies, you have to do what’s best for THEM. Not you. You… might have to learn that soon.”

And she left Amethyst alone in the garage, closing the door behind her. Amethyst was full of disappointment.

She wanted to yell. She wanted to protest. She hated being kicked out. She hated being left alone! She hated-

Being abandoned.

Amethyst shook at the realization of what had occurred to her. Spinel had left because of the baby, and now Vidalia did too.

Babies weren’t fair.

She hated saying it. She hated dreading it. But now, when she ran into Rose, she couldn’t help her composure, and instead of the usual enthusiastic baby talk her and Rose had these past few months, Amethyst stayed quiet and walked away.

She knew Rose was happy about her baby, but Amethyst’s opinion of it had now become soured.

She just wanted it to be over with, and for Spinel to come home.

She just wanted it to be less tense.

She just wanted things to go back to normal.

How many times had she promised to always be there for her?

How many times had she assured Pearl she’d never let her suffer alone?

Well, what was her excuse now?

Pearl was so lost in thought, she didn’t hear Rose asking her for the time.

After asking for a while, Rose sat up from the sand with a huff instead, and Pearl rushed to her side with a flurry of concerns. “Do you need help? Should I get Greg? Do you feel pain?!”

Rose laughed and shook her hands away. “I’m fine Pearl. Where were you? I kept asking for the time.”

Shame made Pearl’s cheeks grow hot. How could she forget about her precious Rose? That Spinel! How dare she take up her thoughts even now??

Pearl responded through gritted teeth. “It was nothing important, I assure you.”

Rose hummed, not believing it, but not arguing. Instead, she got herself fully up, shaking the sand from her dress with Pearl’s help, and patting her belly. Pearl watched as she did so, reaching a hand out, but stopping just before she could touch it. She was still too scared.

Rose saw this, and took Pearl’s hand, surprising her. Pearl almost pulled away on reflex, but stopped herself when Rose spoke.

Still smiling, but her tone was… off. “You’re thinking about Spinel, aren’t you?”

Pearl had no way of responding. She only looked away, with brows furrowed. She really didn’t want to talk about it.

With more deliberate pronunciations, “I assure you, Rose. It’s nothing important.”

Rose sighed, but let it go. Pearl was relieved, even as she noticed Rose’s shoulders stayed stiff.

Rose turned around, to the direction of the car wash. Pearl made to follow, but Rose stopped her.

“I need to be alone with Greg for the day. He said he figured out a way I could leave a message for the baby…”

Rose looked back at Pearl, giving her a sad, but forceful look.

“You are dismissed.”

The words stung Pearl on a level she could only remember from the old days. Back when she competed with…. Spinel. Pearl gripped her head to stop herself from going down that path. She bid her farewell and watched her walk away.

Now she was alone.

Walking to the temple, she couldn’t help herself from kicking at the small rocks in the sand. Going back to her childish anger always left her feeling inadequate, but only Spinel.

Only Spinel.

Only Spinel! Could make her like this.

That… stupid CLOWN. Why wasn’t she here?? Why did she suddenly BOLT! Like she was the only thing that mattered?

What happened to the trio? Didn’t she grasp that Rose was leaving them?! That their core/ their ENTIRE reason for being was-

Pearl choked up. She gave up. She fell to the sand, gripping it tightly between her fists.

She was going to be alone for this. She would really, truly be Rose’s only support. It felt ironic, remembering how much Pearl wanted Spinel out of the picture before, but now.

She’d give anything to have her here.

Even through her fury. Even through her pains. She really… missed her. She really needed her.

Pearl sobbed a little longer, before realizing she was in public view. How uncouth of her! She cleaned herself up a smidge and rushed to her room instead.

The only place that was safe.

Away from reality, and away from prying eyes.

Once safely tucked inside, she fell to the floor and hugged herself.

She really wanted to be reassured. She really wanted to be coddled and embraced, she felt so pathetic, and her face burned with shame, but she wanted it so much she shook.

It was like a withdrawal for her from a drug she was so used to. For a shameless second, she considered making a hologram of Spinel just to have SOMETHING.

But she thrashed the suggestion as soon as she got it. She would NEVER stoop that low.

Besides… she reasoned. The holograms were too cold and unfeeling.

And what she needed was her warm hugs.

~~~

The day had come.

Rose didn’t know what to think.

Luckily, she was with Greg when she felt the first contraction. She had read so many medical books about this. Done so much research with Greg! But now that it was actually happening, even with all her talk, even with all her hopes, she couldn’t help her feelings of

Fear.

Complete, earth-shattering fear.

She breathed, knowing it did little for a gem like her, but she kept it up because it was what she’d rehearsed with Greg. He held her hand tightly as he drove her to the temple. They had to get everyone. They had to be here. She wanted to look at them all one last time.

Except

Not everyone was there.

Calling out to the gems, her fear built up as every door opened but one.

She still wasn’t here.

She was really going to disappear without saying goodbye.

With her last memory being one of them fighting.

With Spinel looking so hurt.

This.

This wasn’t what she wanted.

The squeeze of Greg’s hand as he laid her down on their makeshift bed brought her back to reality. She grimaced at the pains she felt but kept up a nervous smile.

She couldn’t show them her panicking.

She may have messed up with Spinel but

She still had everyone else here.

The contractions were so strange to her. She knew what her body was doing, but the knowledge hadn’t shielded her from the reality at all. She had always wanted to be something new, to EXPERIENCE something new, and she finally was!

And honestly, this was thrilling!

But-

But she can’t help her thoughts rushing through all at once.

She was leaving.

She would be gone.

Looking across her, her spirits sank more and more.

No more goofing off with Greg.

When was the last time she saw Ruby and Sapphire?

This was the worst she’s ever seen Pearl.

And Amethyst is stepping away, claiming it to be too gross to look.

Rose wants to reach out and keep her in place. She shouldn’t leave her sight! But the pain is too much.

The baby’s time is nearing.

She can feel it.

Everyone’s concerns are muzzled together. Rose is still smiling but she wants to cry. It’s hitting her what this means. What her decision came to.

The enemies she’d made.

The lies she told.

… The friendship she had lost.

What was she leaving behind?

She feels a tear sneak out. She’s shaking so much. The room grows deadly silent.

Then an embrace enveloped her from behind.

Pearl was always the first to jump to comfort her.

Greg always knew what to say.

Garnet stayed the one that counted her contractions.

And Amethyst came back to mimic Pearl’s hug.

Rose cried more, overwhelmed with their love.

She was so sure they were going to be the best family for her child.

She was so… proud.

She felt her form glowing.

She was starting to shift.

Everyone gasped as she started to let go.

She wasn’t going to get to see the future.

She wouldn’t know how far her action’s consequences reached.

But she was confident the friends she left behind would be enough for her baby to grow well.

Her last smile was genuine, the last thing they saw of her.

And the last thing they heard was

“Thank you.”

~~~

Spinel came back a month after Steven was born.

She came back to a cold temple where Pearl never left her room, Garnet gave her the cold shoulder, and Amethyst ran away from her problems.

She didn’t like the trouble she left behind.

She didn’t like realizing she didn’t say goodbye to Rose.

She hated having ran away.

But what was done was done.

And all she could do was play puppet to Rose’s whims one last time.

She had to get them back together.

It didn’t take long for Spinel to start picking up the pieces.

It started with Garnet.

She knew her reason always won over. She followed her close behind as she tracked down corrupted gems. As much as Garnet protested by saying she was giving everyone a break, as much as she insisted, she could handle a few on her own, Spinel knew her too well.

Garnet was eventually overwhelmed by a hoard, and Spinel jumped in to help. They managed to barely escape but got stuck together on a tree as the bottom littered itself with big corrupted gems.

Perfect. What a beautiful failure this expedition was.

Garnet was so done for the night. For her life.

As Spinel tried reviewing strategies to escape, she failed to notice the grimace Garnet wore. Then Garnet walked over and punched the trunk, shaking it enough for leaves to fall on gaping monstrous jaws.

That finally shut Spinel’s chatter.

She watched on as Garnet gave another, then another, and one final punch before unfusing. Ruby was crying, continuing her punches, leaving scorch marks on the bark. Sapphire watched Ruby for a bit, then moved to sit down, her hands gripping each other on her lap neatly.

Spinel was scared.

She’d only ever helped Garnet. She’d never dealt with both.

She held her ground, though, and moved to sit with Sapphire.

She had to start somewhere.

But

Talking to Sapphire was like talking to a wall. She gave no real replies, only nods and hums. Nothing could get through her passive-aggressiveness.

Ruby finally stopped hitting the trunk when she reached a third of its core, then went to sit with Sapphire. They held hands and looked down at the corrupted gems now laying down at the base of the tree. Spinel took a deep breath and tried again.

Ruby cut her off immediately.

“Why did you leave us?”

Spinel had an answer prepared.

“I needed some time by myself.”

Ruby gripped her hair.

She understood, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to be irrational. And, looking down at the icicles forming on the branch, she knew Sapphire wanted to as well. They needed to vent.

So they did. It started with more of Ruby’s fiery accusations. Spinel had an answer for all of them, never wavering her sincere apologies. They began to drape over Ruby’s flames, calming her down and helping her come to terms with how helpless the situation was, but then-

Sapphire stood up.

“Your apologies aren’t going to rewind time.”

Even Ruby flinched at that.

But it didn’t deter Spinel. She already loaded the feelings of guilt into a locked safe deep in her mind. She gave her the same replies; there’s nothing else that could be done. It was over now and all she could do was help them come back from it.

They looked at each other and failed to notice the cracks of the trunk above cracking.

Sapphire had been too busy in the present; she hadn’t looked at the future. They were all shocked. Ruby dodged just in time, carrying Sapphire, but Spinel was pinned in an instant. Ruby and Sapphire gasped as the tree rolled over; no cracks in the gem, the only damage was her getting poofed. They were both relieved and worried. Without Spinel’s extra hands, they didn’t know how they could leave the forest without attracting the corrupted gems.

But after much deliberation and conversation, they came up with the idea of jumping tree to tree.

It was treecky (I am so sorry, the pun just wrote itself before I realized), but it was doable.

Until Ruby almost slipped with Spinel’s gem in hand.

At the last second, Sapphire managed to twist herself and carry Ruby back up, like a swing Pearl would do in her dance. That little moment of connection was all they needed to naturally fuse once more, trusting smiles in their faces. Together, they parkoured more in sync.

Garnet finally made it a safe distance away before jumping down to the ground and booking it to the nearest warp. Before she reached it, she felt the gem shaking, and looked just in time to catch the sudden glow.

Garnet dropped the gem and saw Spinel pop out, her new form a bit of a mess but… nice.

Soft.

Garnet didn’t know where she got the inclination to wear a skirt for the first time, but she liked it.

That didn’t mean she wanted to let Spinel off the hook, though.

Once Spinel realized they got out of trouble, she calmed her stance and stared awkwardly at Garnet. She was glad they were back together.

Garnet held the stare again for a shorter amount, before dropping her shoulders and opening her arms. Spinel came in for the hug.

Garnet admits she missed her. But she needs to work towards forgiveness. Spinel assures her she’s ready to put in the work.

And, seeing how well Garnet did without her, Spinel reassured her she believed the group was in good hands. Garnet stood still, and started shaking her head. It was too soon. The shock was still residing.

Spinel hesitantly agreed; she had more work to do with the others. But she was glad to see Garnet smiling again. She holds Garnet’s arm for the rest of the walk to the warp, coming up with smaller team building activities to take on in the meantime. Garnet started with her usual curt answers, but as each new suggestion took a more drastic turn, she couldn’t help let out small bits of laughter.

She was so relieved to have Spinel back. It was a weight off her shoulders.

Now she felt both whole and not alone in her role.

~~~~~~

Spinel stood outside Pearl’s door, her hand having stayed in the position of knocking without doing so for an hour.

She had never been more nervous in her life.

Based on Garnet’s talk, Pearl hadn’t left her room since the day of the birth. Spinel could only imagine how deeply Pearl shut herself inside her mind.

When Amethyst took her attention, the Pearl backlash was bad. Spinel didn’t want to think about how far this sent her back on her progress.

She hoped above all else to be proven wrong.

That Pearl would not give her the cold shoulder, and just let her back in for her much needed help.

But she was Spinel, and she didn’t prepare for best-case scenarios with feelings hanging around.

She fixed her skirt one last time, before giving a small knock.

It took a few seconds, but Spinel could definitely hear…. Something. Clanging? It was the loudest she’d ever heard Pearl’s room!

And it only got louder as it approached the door quickly.

In a flash, it opened, and Spinel barely registered the gem her arms unwittingly caught.

Pearl gripped her tightly like the world was crumbling. In a way, Spinel guessed it had.

No sounds came out, no words. Only tight squeezes and quiet sniffles. Spinel picked her up and moved inside the room, making sure the door closed behind her.

No need for the others to see.

Turning around to face the room, her pigtails dropped at what she saw.

Chaos.

The room that always reflected Pearl’s orderly mind had turned messy and disheveled.

Not as bad as Amethyst’s, mind you, but by Pearl’s standards?

Spinel was aghast.

“Oh Pearl…”

Pearl sniffled a bit harder and buried her head a bit deeper.

Spinel got to a high ground on top a pile of… something. She sat and held Pearl for hours.

In a way, it was nice to be able to have such an intimate embrace go on for so long. But its reasons kept concerns from fleeing Spinel’s mind.

Pearl was so still, she was almost convinced she had finally learned how to sleep. Then she stirred and began to speak.

“Where did you go?”

Her voice was soft and so unlike the confident Pearl Spinel was so used to.

Spinel could give no answer that would satisfy.

“Nowhere in particular. I just. Had to go.”

“Why?”

This tiny word had a break.

Spinel tried to move to look at Pearl, but she was having none of it. She wanted to stay cocooned together.

“I just… had to be by myself.”

It really was the truth.

In her time spent alone, she had realized it was the first time she had no other gem around. It was as liberating as it was terrifying. She still wasn’t sure if it even helped her at all.

But she couldn’t say that. She instead turned her mind to things in the room. All the items relating to the war in her care laid scattered, each weapon was stuck to a surface. She continued cradling Pearl as she noticed the lights dim.

“I planned on hating you, you know?”

Spinel stopped but surprise wasn’t in her. She knew full well.

“I wanted to blame you and take out some of these feelings on you.”

Spinel was so prepared for it too. Willing, even. But if Pearl was bringing this up now…

“But as soon as I heard your knock, I just. Couldn’t.”

Warmth rushed like a gate. Spinel wanted to squash it down but failed.

“I missed you. So much. I needed you. So. Much. She needed you too. We all did. But you weren’t there…”

Here, the waterworks start. Spinel’s guilt safe is drowning in them, but she can’t open herself up.

“I’m so sorry.”

She really means it.

All Pearl can do is keep clutching and crying, with Spinel following after.

But then come the catching up talks Garnet failed to mention.

How much Rose changed day by day, how much mellower she got, how in her last moments she cried and told them thank you.

Greg had the baby now, and Spinel felt relieved at knowing there was very little chance she’d have to shee it. She knew she would have to face it eventually but….

She finally coaxed Pearl to let go enough for Spinel to look at her face closely, wiping her tears and kissing her head, bringing her down in a softer hug where Spinel could rest her head on Pearl’s.

She really had her hands full.

And she hadn’t even gotten to explaining it to Amethyst yet.

~~~~~

(So uh, this is awkward, but I already went more in depth with Amethyst’s part of this in chapter 2 :, D so overall: )

Spinel vowed to herself again that she would never leave these gems for as long as she lived. And, as terrible as it was to think it, Spinel reasoned that without Rose… she had no reason to ever flee again.

~~~~~~~~~

Welp. More timeline stuff. Razzle Dazzle~! *uses jazz hands to hide their sadness* There’s still more catching up to do for the past timeline now that we have reached Steven’s lil era, but honestly, I just wanted to finish up to here for the next part. I do believe I’m jumping back in the next installment to the more modern times (with Spinel gone). I’m trying to balance the storytelling of both sides to compliment each other.

Sooos Imma spill some stuff I thought about through writing this section. I was major scared on how to write the Rose giving birth bit. I mean, hooooooweeeeey, writing giving birth is….. ick. And hard. And uuuuuuuuh. And with gems? Im HOPING this is somewhat believable, I tried to think it through to be as realistically canon as possible. Only so much to work with when all you know is Rose studied medical books to shapeshift a womb. Oof. ;-;

And I always say this when a chapter has Rose, but I always feel I need to point it out. My characterization of Rose is the way I pieced her to be from the show. Writing this AU really made me open my eyes to how…. jarring Rose’s decision to have Steven without consulting her friends was when she knew the consequences. And what she was leaving behind. *sad flops* It also made me realize that the original way I wrote the Chapter 2 Spinel and CG interactions when she came back for Garnet and Pearl were oversimplified. Of course they would be mad and hurt. She really did just abandon them in a great time of need. The audience knows why, but they won’t. Spinel still feels the need to protect Rose’s image to them, even at her cost.

I like writing Garnet, and I hope the Ruby and Sapphire moments were believable. I was writing too much into their confrontation with Spinel and their logic started getting loopy on me so I just generalized it :,T A lot of Spinel’s dialogue to Garnet and Pearl is the same. There’s nothing she can do but say she’s sorry, and she’s willing to do the work to help them move on.

Oh and uh, almost forgot. Yeeeah im skipping on explaining what Spinel does in her time away. I never really found an answer I liked. Some I considered were, she hangs out at a city, she stays alone in an island, she just keeps walking around like a tourist and the closest one but I felt was also something I kept going back to too much, she hides up in the moon base just to relive her ‘good times.’ In the end, it really doesn’t matter to me for this story. I explained what she got from her time alone (mostly nothing, just a momentary escape), and that’s all I needed. :,,,,3

P.P.S I ended up taking an idea too far and made a gemsona Spinel. Black Spinel cuz Im 20 and still not over my wannabe goth phase :,3 I may end up posting pics of it in my art blog later since I did end up liking them more than I thought…

#Crystal Gem Spinel #crystal gems #crystal gem au #crystal gem spinel au #spinel su #su spinel #spinel #su pearl #su amethyst #su garnet #garnet su #amethyst su #pearl su #steven universe movie #steven universe the movie #steven universe #su

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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June 17th-June 23rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from June 17th, 2019 to June 23rd, 2019. The chat focused on Heart of Keol by keiiii.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Heart of Keol by keiiii~! (https://www.heartofkeol.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until June 23rd to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Do you believe Danbi’s mom is at the Heart of Keol? If so, will she even want to see Danbi? If not, where else could she be? Overall, what consequences do you think Danbi will face in his attempts to reunite with his mother?

FeatheryJustice

1. My favourite scene so far from what I have read, is the toilet scene. Glowing toilet moss is the best part about it, who doesn't want to poop into the golden throne XD

AshAngelV

1. I'll have to come back to. 2. I'm bracing myself in case she's dead, or worse. Assuming death or worse doesn't happen, I think she'll be mad that he put himself in danger to find her, but also be glad to see him. I kinda don't think she's in the heart, and I'm sure his looking is going to cause all sorts of trouble for him and the rest of the party.

MJ Massey

I don't think she's dead, but I think something else happened to her that she isn't around anymore, like she went to another dimension or something

keii4ii

(hi everyone)

Tuyetnhi

hewwo~

oh ye, for no. 1...gotta rumminate lol. there's a ton of scenes I liked that I can't call out a favorite just yet lol

kayotics

1. I think I need to go back and reread since I feel like I read it all in a fever dream and went through it so quickly that it all meshed together, but I loved it a lot. I remember Ethan meeting the other earth person really well and loving her a lot, but I also remember liking the scenes with the train. There’s a lot of good scenes and they all pull different emotional chords.

Tuyetnhi

yee I agree

kayotics

2. If Danbi’s mom is there I’d gather that there’s something seriously wrong with the situation. But I think that Danbi’s mom will be at the heart. There’s a lot of themes about parents (lost parents, reuniting with parents, flawed parents) that I think she’ll be there but not what Danbi expects.

Delphina

1. Favorite scene: BIG KITTY HUGS https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/025-14/

Kabocha

Aaaaah, that's definitely one of my favorite scenes... I honestly love the kitty hugs scene as well as the one that just finished: https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/028-09/ When I saw this I needed to scream a little because it was just... like.. a "holy shit" moment. THAT EXPLAINS A LOT but now I am extremely worried for Ethan's emotional health :'D As far as Danbi's mom... I... dunno. I kind of had her written off as more of a motivation to start the trip, but not so much a part of the destination. I think she might be dead, or perhaps helping "preserve" Keol. ...So I don't think it's going to be a good meeting as far as "Wtf is going on" but a good meeting as far as seeing how people change when there's a long time.... especially if you think you know them. I'm seriously torn though -- I think whatever's happened to her, we're going to get a hint about it, and it's gonna come from Lu. And it's gonna compound the heartbreak that I see coming on the horizon...

Desnik

Oh I really love this one, but there's a page I remember that has this awesome use of 3-point perspective to insinuate a spiritual journey from one plane to another, let me see if I can find it again

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Who or what is the red hoodie kid, and what is their connection to Ethan? What might they have to do with Ethan’s latent Dokkabi powers? What is the significance of their facial mark give it matches the queen’s?

MJ Massey

Crack theory on red hoodie kid they're Ethan's dad from the past but that is probably not at all correct

RebelVampire

1) My favorite scene is the one where Ethan princess carries Lu away from all the octopus being cooked. I enjoy it was partly just hilarious seeing Ethan's overreaction, but also emotionally significant for Lu cause Lu got to see how much the giant doofus cares for him. 2) I think Danbi's mom was at the Heart but is there no longer. And i think Danbi will end up meeting someone who knew his mom instead of his mom directly. Frankly I assume she is dead and that Danbi is gonna have to go through the emotional trainwreck of accepting that the trip and everything he went through was for nothing except for answers. And while I'm sure Danbi will try to play it off as if just the closure is fine, I really don't think it will be. I think it'll be this bottled up thing that eventually explodes into an emotional mess that needs janitors to clean up.

RebelVampire

3) Lushaka. He is a giant cat. I really don't need to say anymore. Cats are best. 4) Assuming Ethan's dad was in Keol and an illegal Dokkabi as was implied, I think the red hoodie kid is a manifestation of the wyrm that the dad ate. And that it somehow passed to Ethan cause there is no illegal Dokkabi lore that says this isnt possible yet. So Ethan always had the powers, he just could never use them. As for the facial marking, I think it's just a mystical symbol of the wyrm's power. And the queen has it cause she was just a super good dokkabi all along or something.

kayotics

3. My fav is Lushaka, but it’s because he’s kind of emotionally constipated and is trying to not show he has feelings and I love characters like that.

4. I’m not much of a theorizer, but if I remember right, there was mention of a king that was supposed to appear? My initial thought on that information was that the kid was the upcoming king

MJ Massey

I think Ethan is my favorite. He's not what I would have expected as a main character for this kind of story, but that's what I really love. And he also has a good heart. He's someone I'd want to be friends with

keii4ii

Emotional constipation and emotional mess janitors... giving a whole new meaning to The Shining Outhouse (HoK's discord server name)

kayotics

Keiiii, I gotta tell you I love emotionally constipated characters

NeilKapit

Great choice for this week. I’ll re-read Keol from the beginning to discuss it properly.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What do you think Adela will do given she just narrowly escaped from hunters? Additionally, who is the woman who saved Adela, and what could she possibly want from her? How will this tie into the rest of the story?

AshAngelV

5. I've really liked the illustrations of Ethan's soulscape (I guess is what you'd call it). They combine Keii's glowy magics with deep symbolism and heartbreaking moments (like when the stump burns). So many levels of epic.

keii4ii

Both of my favorite scenes have not been drawn yet due to Webcomic Time™. But one of them is actually coming up very soon! I'm drawing a set of scenes that lead directly up to it. Among the scenes that have been drawn/posted, I like this one... not so much as a favorite scene, but more like, "this is what HoK is about." https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/013-04/ And the whole of chapter 25-26, especially Danbi's reaction here. https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/026-06/ I guess the common thread there is the weaving of love and deep, bitter let-down.

(Just noticed "common thread" and "weaving" ... Pun not intended )

NeilKapit

As I’m reading through it it’s off to a great start. A lot of subtle character works that’s showing not telling, hinting at Ethan’s troubles.

snuffysam

5) Illustrations I like - any time magic gets used, specifically Dokkabi magic. The way the colors play off each other, the way the lighting affects the scene, and the amount of character that gets revealed through the form of the magic... it's all incredible.

surfKraken

Recently I've reread HoK after following it since it showed up on Tapas, and it's a rock solid favorite.

I guess what I like is it's originality #1

and #2 that it moves at its own pace and does its own thing.

I know that sounds generic but that's the best I can do after just getting home from a long day☁️

I don't have the energy to type all the feelings I have about the characters and presentation lol

They are as good as it gets for me in webcomics. there!

Tuyetnhi

5) ahhh I have to say Lu's tenticles lmao. I was caught off gaurd when he just woosh them out. I also like how they're rendered. but I do agree with snuffysam about the magic displayed and used in various instances.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Why do you think the queen is hunting for Elyeo and locking them up? Is it for their own good, or is something sinister going on? What might this have to do with her destined mate who is supposedly a red-haired, male Elyeo?

RebelVampire

5) https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/021-05/ The big second to last panel on this page. I love the lighting and the poses and the details like Ethan's body hair. everything comes together to create a really intimate moment that makes me squee. Especially the lighting though. Like even though Ethan and Lu had special moments between them before, this was the moment that made me tear up on the inside. 6) my crack theory is that its Danbi's mom disguised somehow. And she just magically sense Adela knew where her son is. my more serious theory is that the lady also wants to go to the heart and needs a guide. And ya know, clearly Adela knows the way. Which I think inevitably that's the path. Everyone gotta go to the heart for a "happy" reunion where there will be no drama and everyone will just have tea and cake. happy happy rainbows.

7) Ethan and Lu cause they are the OTP. Cause every part I'm like "how will you should you care about each other this time." and then I'm surprised and cry on the inside. 8) I think the queen has basically gotten impatient and lonely. And now that she knows her mate is a male Elyeo, shes keeping all Elyeo's to watch for his birth. So basically she has a little sinister breeding facility going on.

keii4ii

Been loving reading everyone's thoughts so far! @kayotics mentioned that there's a lot of themes about parents, and it's true! For many characters, a parent is the one person you can expect to love you even when the rest of the world is going bad/crazy. Messing with that expectation, uprooting it, seeing what grows from where it was uprooted... That's a big part of the story. @Delphina I'm so happy to see love for that scene! I think that was where I started feeling more clear-headed about the story. Like the story finally found itself. Maybe not at that exact point, but somewhere around there. @Kabocha Extreme worries for Ethan's emotional health is 100% justified at this point in the story. The characters are gonna run straight through a busy 8-lane highway, metaphorically, and only Lushaka is aware of it. He's hoping they can make it without getting hit by a car........

@Desnik Oooh did you mean this page? https://www.heartofkeol.com/eng/001-04a/ @MJ Massey I can TOTALLY see you and Ethan getting along splendidly!

Kabocha

With the current page that's gone up since chat started... I am screaming. I don't think lu laughing really portends anything good at this point. Aaaaaa But I'm looking forward to seeing the emotional traffic jam that occurs.

keii4ii

Lu worries about cars and trucks, then a freaking Boeing 777 comes crashing onto that highway

...maybe

Kabocha

... oh no. So what you're saying is we're going to end up with the emotional version of that plotline of ghost whisperer, where nobody involved in the emotional 777 realizes that's what happened, so they're trying to be all normal but nothing is right and they're all a wreck

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Why do you think the Xi people are so mistreated? Given the dangers, is Ethan’s sympathy warranted, or do you believe he should be more careful? How might all this play a role as the group gets closer to the Heart of Keol?

AshAngelV

Ugh, missed most of the week cause brain dead from work. 9. Keii's use of reflections in eyes is on point and adds a subtle layer to deep scenes. 10. Probably a mix of racism and longstanding grudges. And I think Ethan should be more careful in general. Dude is way too nice/trusting for his own good. It'll probably cause conflict between him and Lu cause Lu is the exact opposite and might end up getting frustrated.

RebelVampire

9) I really love the body hair, I gotta say. Cause usually that's something left out with more painterly styles like this, and yet it's there and I can tell exactly what it is. And I just appreciate that the time is taken to add it in even when it doesn't necessarily add anything to the scenes in question. 10) Probably the age ol' tale of one person did something bad, whole group got blamed, rinse and repeat until everyone hates everyone. Ethan 1000% needs to be more careful. His sympathy is admirable, but it's gonna get him stabbed in the butt. There is just too much hate and past history, and it's gonna take more than Ethan's kindness to overcome that. Cause I don't think Ethan will figure out he needs to earn their trust until it's much too late and just kind of think being kind is enough. As for the Xi people's overall role, I think as they get closer to the heart, they're gonna be in more danger. But more than the risk of danger, I think Ethan is going to be changed and want to talk to the queen or something. And say hey, stop being a dick. And then the queen will be like, who tf are you strange giant man.

MJ Massey

9. keiiii is such a master of light but I also enjoy how her impressionistic brush strokes bring patterns to life as well. Each frame is a masterpiece. I was lucky enough to win a wall scroll from her and it's one of my favorite art pieces I have at home

Desnik

@keii4ii yup!! thats the one

NeilKapit

OK, the Unofficial Voice Casting for Heart of Keol

Ethan is Patrick Seitz

Danbi is Susan Dailan

Lushaka is Liam O’Brian

Hana is Cristina Vee

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Do you believe the assumptions are correct that Ethan’s dad had been to Keol and was an illegal Dokkabi? If not, what is your alternate theory? If so, how will this revelation affect Ethan’s well-being both physically and emotionally?

AshAngelV

11. Beautiful glowy magics and just under the surface tension/feelings that pop out and murder you emotionally. 12. I do think that's the case. And it could be that it'll send him looking for the piece of his father that didn't come home. (In a literal or metaphorical way.) It'll probably call this world into question, because what kind of world calls his father a criminal? Also it confirms that it is possible to return, but then what if it damages his mind the way his father's was. So, I imagine it'll wreck Ethan emotionally, which then would activate the magic potentially harming him physically.

Respheal

I'm finally catching up so I can answer questions (busy week aaaaaaaa) but the scene with the rainbow right after the Two Fools in the Rain chapter ends......In my heart of hearts I'm hoping Lu is purring so hard in that scene

"I'm not a housecat. -purrrrrr purrrrrrr-"

AshAngelV

Some big cats do pur.

Respheal

ah ha okay I'm caught up now 1. I'm a total sucker for two things: isekai, and characters with hidden powers. HoK tickles those both, BUT it approaches them from an original angle. For one, a significant portion of the world is also a newcomer to the world, so that's neat, and then the hidden powers aren't like.....the big deal. They're more spice in the curry that is the story. That said, I really enjoyed the calming down Ethan part of the train scene because on one hand, hidden powers get hyped and on the other it was one of the first definite "Awwww" moments between Lu and Ethan

2. Heck I have no idea anymore. I just can't even guess at this point xD 3. Ethan? Probably??? He's just a good wholesome boy, and he needs a hug :') 4. aaaaaaaaaaaa I don't knoooooow I had guesses but they keep going out the window so at this point I'm just along for the ride xD I thought the kid might've actually been the queen at one point but I don't know anymore

5. -croaks- so many? The opening illustration is gorgeous so that's one way to start a comic xD Keii4ii's lighting has been phenomenal throughout(edited)

everything is so glowy and shiny

12. And yeah, the idea of Ethan's dad having been to Keol? Hold up. If that's true, I guess that means the gates aren't one-way after all, so that has some interesting implications for Ethan's potential return home in the future (will he take that option if it becomes available? Good question ) But also...I don't think it would impact Ethan's opinion of him all that much? It wasn't what happened to his family, it's that it happened at all, and the way it impacted them. Although yeah for sure it has some scary possibilities for Ethan's own well being if he can't control the Dokkabi power But he's got Lu so it'll be alright.....right?

keii4ii

aaaaaaa

Summary of my feelings:

AshAngelV

Lol

Not really sure what emotion is associated with tentacles.

keii4ii

One way to interpret the tenta is wiggly

AshAngelV

Haha

NeilKapit

Just occurred to me that Heart of Keol is an isekai, even though it predates that genre’s recent surge in popularity

It’s much better than most of what I’ve seen in that anime genre, since the characters are much more complicated and authentic

It’s a story involving a troubled young man spirited away to an alternate fantasy world that prompts him to work through his problems while trying to find his way back

Though I suppose stranger in a strange land stories are far, far, FAR older

keii4ii

Thank you! Yeah, I think HoK is only technically an isekai. While it fits the definition, it doesn't fit the expectations, for better or worse. And it wasn't because I was trying to make "an isekai... but different!" I just made the story the way I saw it, and the similarities as well as differences are kinda coincidental.

The story is what it is.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Why do you think the Hornets are interested in Danbi? Do you think Lushaka will be able to go through with his betrayal? How will this betrayal affect his growing relationship with Ethan?

ShaRose49

I think maaaybe Danbi is more powerful than he seems? Or maybe there’s another reason they’re interested in him, maybe it has to do with his mother. I’m just spitballing here. I just wanna say that the art for this comic is breathtaking, and danbi’s expressions are so soft and gentle

AshAngelV

13. I'm looking forward to Ethan finding out his Dad was in Keol. Not sure if it's excitement, or dread, though. Lol 14. I think it has something to do with the future king. I don't think Lu would be able to go through with it if it'd obviously hurt Ethan, but if he thought he could get away with it, he might. If he were to kill Danbi and Ethan found out about it, I think that'd end their relationship completely.

Jonny Aleksey

I've just read through every 2019 update. I've most definitely missed important stuff but I really wanted to participate in CTP seeing as I keep missing it. 1. Ch27-9. Post hair cutting. It looks beautiful. Such amazing angles for such an emotional scene. This is a mark of a good comic. They art told me the gravity of what happened even thou I didn't know much about the hair situation. 2. The flashback said that hair dye doesn't work on Danbi's mom so unless she can hide, it's unlikely. Might even lead to an emotional gut-punch. 3. I like Ethan. I guess I like semi-clueless but heartwarming goofs . Also he's from Jersey. That's pretty cool.

Jonny Aleksey

5. Probably Ch27-9 again. The angle and detail is great but it's probably the colors. This comic's bright colors are eye candy. 8. Again, only going from the 2019 pages it seems Elyeo Father King legend is very important to this city, but they seem to hate the blue haired people. Maybe they're hoping to find the next King to get rid of the people they hate/afraid of. Seems like a villain thing to do (if the Queen is a villain that is) 9. I've noticed that red and blue are colors that aren't seen on people but they appear together often in the environment. Not sure what that means but those colors do seem to be important. 11. If I hadn't made it clear, the colors are a huge strength but I think it wouldn't be as good if it wasn't for the storytelling. 28-6 and 28-7 are best examples as this is essentially just two people talking but each panel is unique and flows well so I wasn't bored. The facial emoting is good too tho a few full front faces are strange.

12. Ethan's "dad" in the flashback is wearing an army uniform which I find interesting. I'm not sure where Koel is (I'm sure it's explained in the previous chapters),, it's clearly an Asian aesthetic. Maybe there'll be some Korean War allusions, hinting at some reason the US would be there. I admit it going out there for theories but it's something I thought about.

Jonny Aleksey

13. Seeing Ethan was my favorite character I do want to see what his dad (if it even is him) is like. I did really like what I read because of the art and somber tone. What I read seemed like a down time in the story, a slow burn; so I'm excepting something intense to happen. Maybe someone finds out Danbi is whatever he is and it leads to a chase sequence.

RebelVampire

11) The illustrations. This comic strikes a good balance between painterly and detail that gives it really unique imagery among contemporary comics. In particular, though, the lighting. This comic is a great example of what can happen for your comic when you do lighting really well, cause it creates such much atmosphere you almost choke on it (in the good way). 12) Yes, I do believe Ethan's dad was in Keol. That was my guess even before more recent pages inserted more of the implication. There's too many connected dots for it not to be the case, honestly. XD As for its affect on Ethan, I think at first it's gonna be confusion. Cause I doubt his dad ever mentioned Keol, and I doubt being in Keol explained all his dad's behaviors. Then honestly, probably the 5 stages of grief. So denial it was what happened, angry that nobody magically knew about Keol or something, bargaining that his dad could be fixed from the insight, depression that nothing would be the same like Ethan hoped for, and acceptance that at least there are answers to be had and it makes more sense as to why he got summoned to Keol. Which that last one I think is the one that will hit him teh hardest emotionally. That he is there for a reason and it's not just a coincidence.

13) Lu and Ethan and their continually growing relationship (that I swear I will cry over if their relationship is forever ruined.) 14) Honestly? I just assumed it's some half-baked schemes to defy the queen and keep the king from showing up. Or something like that. Like I really got the impression from the whole reveal scene with Lu is the Hornets really arent thinking their plans through that well and/or are at least poorly organized. I think Lu is gonna have second thoughts and bail for Ethan's sake. And while Ethan is passionate enough to forgive, I think Ethan is gonna find himself in a rock and hard place. Cause Danbi I don't think will forgive Lu. Not after the previous lie Lu told and shit. So Ethan is probably gonna get hurt more by being putting into a situation where he has to choose between helping his giant cat love and helping the dude who first helped him when he arrived and somewhat owes a life debt to.

keii4ii

I super appreciate all the comments here! In the past, some people told me how the art is the only good thing about the comic, haha. I used to get really down about that. It's great to see that you guys appreciate the art not just because it looks pretty, but also because it serves the story. I'm here to tell the story, after all!

Also very happy to see some love for Ethan and Lu's relationship

keii4ii

I'm looking forward to showing all the heartbreaks and their aftermaths (which hopefully include healing and growth)

There's gonna be a lot of worldbuilding info and plotty-ness, like what the Hornets are trying to do and why, but in this story, ultimately all of that is just context for the emotional development.

keii4ii

Also @ the correct and partially correct theories, despite the scarcity of information in the comic so far... I'm not a theorizer myself as a reader, so I'm amazed when people can come up with solid theories!

Even the ones that are going to be proven otherwise have good thought behind them!

ShaRose49

I can give you some constructive criticism if you’d like—though I only read like, 50+ pages and I’m much more of a newb than you are @keii4ii Just some little things I’ve noticed

But I don’t wanna sound like a smartass either it is certainly good quality overall

keii4ii

What kind of constructive criticism are we talking? Like, what topics/areas?

ShaRose49

Probably mostly with the character development

But I can be bad at explaining things

Like I’m bad with words I mean sometimes

keii4ii

Generally speaking, I think "this didn't work for me because [reason]" is pretty down to earth and non-snobby. It acknowledges subjectivity, and accepts that it might work just fine or even great for other readers

ShaRose49

Yeah, something like that! It might help, might not, but you never know

keii4ii

like in the past I... even ran into someone who not only said my writing was bad, but also unintentionally insulted people who liked my story by saying something to the effect of "no one who's looking for a good story would read this."

ShaRose49

Yah that’s dumb, like you can’t speak for every person lol

keii4ii

Also are we talking the first 50 pages?

ShaRose49

Yeah around that—probably more, but I haven’t read all of it, that’s for sure

keii4ii

Okay, what's the thing that didn't work for you? (don't give me like a whole List of All the Bad Things You Did, I don't want to be overwhelmed )

ShaRose49

Yeah don’t worry I get overwhelmed too

So I think one of your biggest strengths is worldbuilding—you’ve built an incredibly detailed and unique world with Keol. So if people are into rich, fantasy worlds, they’d probably adore this story. However I find that we know very little about almost all of the character’s personal lives? They have a few interesting quirks, but it still felt hard for me to connect with any characters because we only see very brief and vague flashbacks of their struggles and whatnot

keii4ii

Oh, I think that auto-resolves

ShaRose49

For me, personally, the characters are usually why I read the story or why I don’t. But it does seem like they’ll get more interesting eventually, it’s just taking awhile I guess

keii4ii

This is a very slow burn story, and the character development isn't meant to hit you like a fire hose.

ShaRose49

Yeah That’s fair. I didn’t mean something super obvious, but perhaps a little more clarity with at least one of the characters might’ve been good, but no worries that’s bound to improve

I can somewhat relate to Ethan having a relative who is so ill they’re almost not the same person anymore. My grandparents on my dad’s side had/have dementia which can be hard and sad

keii4ii

What I'm wondering is what anyone even likes about the worldbuilding in the early chapters It doesn't seem special to me, lol (and this isn't self depreciation; it's not bad, it just is to me.)

kayotics

Speaking as a reader who also likes strong characterization: heart of Keol is very slow burn, but I find that the characters are very rich, just in super nuanced ways

ShaRose49

Oh my gosh, the world you’ve created is so unique! It feels like dreams I’ve had

keii4ii

like I know some people who were interested because it was Asian fantasy that wasn't Japanese for once, but that's not special to me. I'm Korean, I consume Korean media, and I am very used to seeing Korean settings.

ShaRose49

I only have experience with some Korean media, and that’s mostly drama webcomics

keii4ii

I guess though, not every Korean fantasy is as glowy as HoK!

ShaRose49

The world is probably the best part for me so far

I just love the portal thingy

keii4ii

@kayotics Thank you! Nuance is something very important to me

snuffysam

Yeah the characters are my favorite part of the comic. Especially how the relationship between Ethan and Lu develops. In fact, that's my answer to (13). I want to see where that relationship goes. If Ethan finds out about Lu's... shadier outings, how will he handle it? Stuff like that.

keii4ii

Every character's gonna need a special anti-breaking armor for their heart. . . .

NeilKapit

OK, I’m caught up on HoK from start to finish, I’ll start work on the questions

Treating this like an old school assignment because I want to do this right

keii4ii

btw there might be a couple more pages to read on the main site, if you're reading on Comic Fury!

NeilKapit

1.) The recent scene with Ethan and Lushaka, where Lushaka comforts Ethan as he’s recounting his father’s mental illness and the harassment they both got for it, definitely stands out

keii4ii

(Thank you for reading, Neil and everyone. I appreciate this!)

NeilKapit

2.) I’m not sure where Danbi’s mom is and what she’s doing right not and what she thinks of Danbi; honestly I don’t tend to try and predict these large scale mysteries, because anything I come up with as a reader would ultimately be less than what the writer will surprise me with, and I don’t want that surprise poisoned for me by not living up to my “head Canon”

3.) Lushaka, whose personality can be described like a good steak— tough outside, tender inside. Always a fan of A.) cats and B.) stoics, and he’s certainly both. How he’s gone so far with the disfiguring wounds on his feet is impressive but also makes me feel bad for him, on top of everything else he’s been through.

4.) See #2....wherever I think this story is going with all the plot threads set up won’t be as good as the reality. I can say that the twist about Ethan’s dad having visited Keol was shocking, but in a good way since it connected a lot of things

5.) Too many to count, but I did bust out laughing in the Q&A section with Ethan in a dating sim. Some of the scenes with the new woman with the dreads showing off her powers by balancing multiple falling objects at once were especially impressive.

And, at risk of sounding like a broken record, tiger mode Lushaka comforting Ethan

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Heart of Keol this week! Please also give a special thank you to keiiii for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Heart of Keol, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.heartofkeol.com/

keiiii’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/keii4ii

keiiii ’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/keiiii4

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