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#next time we return: more pain but with better lighting this time
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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#srry to be all vent posts and no art but the stress is high rn#i feel a little better now. i forgot how much i love working with the culture collection#i go in when theres no one there and i just spend a few hours listening to podcasts as i move slime from tube to tube#it forces me to do one thing bc once i start i cant stop. i just like it a lot. i havent done for like the last 2 semesters bc we had the#money to pay a student to do it. and at the time i was in the thick of taking photosynthesis measures and it was causing me a lot of pain#and transfering was like the one lab task i liked to do so it felt like i was being punished. i could no longer do the thing most aligned#with my interests. and i just let it go bc in my brain im not allowed to do things that i enjoy. if i enjoy it its not hard enough.#so i just let it go. and let myself be crushed under the weight of things i don't enjoy and now here we r#a little light has returned to me#and its not all bad. i am looking forward to giving a lecture next week. i like communicating info to others and deciding what to talk abt#ill try to make it fun. if i have the time. and im looking forward to my meeting tomorrow morning. everyone ive met with so far does really#cool research. id be happy to wind up anywhere. but if i get into the big scary uk uni then i have to go there bc the project is so perfect#i dont dare get my hopes up. and tho my interview today wasnt the best i learned some really cool things by talking to the guy and im more#prepared moving forward.#however i did agree to make both my sisters sticker sheets for xmas and that is gonna take so much time i might die. so ya kno rip#but like i said. not all bad.#unrelated
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taergalive · 1 month
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Even More Incorrect Radioapple Quotes to Fill the Void in My Heart
Lucifer: Can you please be serious for five minutes Alastor: My record is four, but I think I can do it -- Lucifer: I made tea. Alastor: I don’t want tea. Lucifer: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Alastor: Then why are you telling me? Lucifer: It is a conversation starter. Alastor: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Lucifer: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate. -- Lucifer, tending to Alastor's wounds from his fight with Adam: How would you rate your pain? Alastor: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend. -- Lucifer: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives Alastor: I wake up at 4:30 AM Lucifer: Lucifer: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives -- Lucifer: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. Alastor: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself. -- Lucifer: I turned out perfectly fine! Alastor: Lucifer, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast Lucifer: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!! -- Lucifer: Can you keep a secret? Alastor: Do you know anything about my life? Lucifer: No I do not. Good point. -- Alastor: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody important. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. Lucifer: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that. -- Lucifer: Hey Alastor, have you seen the reporter? Alastor: Nope. Have you seen the meat tenderizer? Lucifer, confused: What? Alastor, grabbing the meat tenderizer out of the drawer: No reason, cute girl things! -- Lucifer: Alastor and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Charlie: * Sighing * What did Alastor do? Lucifer: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Alastor: Who wants a steering wheel? -- Lucifer: What time is it? Alastor: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out Alastor: * Plays sax extremely loudly* Husk: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING?! Alastor: It's 2 am - Lucifer: I told Alastor his ears twitch when he lies. Charlie: Why? Lucifer: Look. Lucifer: Hey Alastor! Do you love us? Alastor, covering his ears: No! Charlie: -- Lucifer: Why are your tongues purple? Angel: We had slushies.I had a blue one. Husk: I had a red one. Lucifer: oh Lucifer: Lucifer: OH Alastor: Alastor: You drank each other's slushies? -- Alastor: Imagine being under 5’4’’ and thinking you have rights hahaha couldn’t be me. Lucifer: You wanna keep those kneecaps you better shut the fuck up! Alastor: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you from all the way down there, can you repeat that? Lucifer: I SAID FUCK YOU BITCH -- Lucifer: When are we gonna fuck? Alastor: What? Lucifer: Oh sorry autocorrect. When are we gonna hang out? Alastor: First of all, those two words aren't even close to each other. And second of all, this is a verbal conversation... -- Lucifer: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Alastor: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me. -- Lucifer: You have to apologize to them Alastor. Alastor: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!
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chaoticforever · 15 days
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Where The Path Led | Yandere Stephen Strange x Male! Reader
Summary: Who thought having sex with Doctor Strange would cause the man to become very obsessive and delusional?
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Y/n stirred groggily, a throbbing headache pulsing in time with his heartbeat. He blinked his eyes open, squinting against the harsh morning light streaming through the window. The brightness only added to his discomfort, and he felt a wave of nausea wash over him. The room spun slightly, and he had to close his eyes again to steady himself.
After a few deep breaths, he cautiously opened his eyes again, this time letting them adjust to the bright light. As his vision cleared, he turned his head to the right, wincing at the sharp pain from his neck. That's when he noticed something that made his heart skip a beat or two.
This wasn't his room.
It took him a moment to register that he also was not alone. An arm was draped casually across his waist, belonging to someone still deeply asleep. Following the arm up, Y/n recognized the face — it was his colleague, Stephen Strange. The man looked peaceful sleeping, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The sight of Stephen lying next to him sent a rush of memories flooding back to Y/n.
The night before, Y/n had gone to a bar in the city, intent on drowning himself in alcohol. He had discovered yesterday that Marcus, his boyfriend of two years, had been cheating on him. The betrayal stung deeply, and he needed an escape. He wanted to forget, if only for one night.
And that's when Stephen had appeared. Noticing Y/n's somber mood, he joined him at the bar. The two men had shared drinks and danced together. Before they knew it, they ended up back at Stephen's place, and one thing had led to another.
Now, Y/n thought back to that moment with a sense of regret. He hadn't wanted to sleep with anyone; he had just wanted a night to forget his issues. Carefully, he eased himself out of Stephen's embrace, holding his breath and slipping out from under the covers. Spotting his clothes scattered on the floor, he began to dress quietly, wincing at the rustling fabric. He located his phone and keys in one of the pockets and quietly left Stephen's home.
Upon returning to his apartment, Y/n made a beeline for the bathroom. The cool water on his face felt amazing, but he knew he looked and felt like a mess. He vowed to himself that he wouldn't indulge in such heavy drinking again.
Going to the kitchen, Y/n began making this hangover remedy his dad had often made for him back in his early twenties. Y/n didn't think he would need it again, but it turns out that he did. As he mixed the ingredients, his phone rang and saw that Mercedes was calling. He answered.
"Hey, Mercedes."
"Hi, Y/n," Mercedes' cheerful voice came through. "So, what did you get up to last night? Drinking liquor at a bar, perhaps?"
Y/n blinked, because how did she just— "Uh, how'd you know that I went out to a bar last night? I didn’t tell you about that."
"I heard from Juan," his friend explained. "Said that he saw you at Charley's bar, getting wasted. He also mentioned that he saw you leave with someone — a tall male with black hair and a goatee. Did you hook up with somebody last night?"
Y/n sighed as he poured the remedy into a cup. "I did. I slept with my colleague, Stephen. It was a drunk hookup though, nothing more, and It won't happen again."
"And why won't it happen again?"
"To be honest, I don't like Stephen in that way," Y/n replied, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "And after finding out about Marcus, I don't feel like dating or hooking up with anyone for a while."
"I understand," Mercedes' voice was soft. "Take all the time you need to heal but don't let Marcus' actions hold you back. He doesn't deserve your time or energy."
Y/n smiled. Mercedes always knew the right thing to say to make him feel better.
"Thank you, Mercedes," Y/n said gently. "Listen, I'm going to hop in the shower, but we can talk later. Tell Sam I said hi."
"Will do! Talk to you later, n/n," Mercedes responded before the call disconnected.
Y/n placed his phone on the charger and headed for the shower, hoping the warm water would soothe his aching body and clear his mind after the chaotic night he experienced and a challenging morning.
XXXXX XXXXX
Monday morning arrived, and Y/n woke up feeling refreshed and surprisingly energetic, considering the events of the past few days. He had spent the rest of his weekend relaxing in the living room and briefly chatting with his dad on the phone. It felt like he had finally gotten a good night's rest, and the absence of a killer headache was a welcome bonus.
The male stretched his arms above his head and yawned, feeling the satisfying crack of his joints. He whistled softly to himself as he went through his morning routine, preparing for the long day ahead.
As he drove to the hospital, his thoughts drifted back to his night with Stephen. A flush crept up his neck, thinking back to their sexual encounter. Even though they worked in different areas of the hospital— Y/n as an immunologist and Stephen as a neurosurgeon — they still often saw one another. Y/n wondered if the man in question would bring up what happened between them. He hoped he'd agree to forget about the situation and move on.
When he entered the familiar halls of the hospital, Y/n greeted his colleagues with a smile and nodded to familiar faces. He made his way to the staff lounge for that much-needed cup of coffee because his appointments were back-to-back, and he knew the caffeine would be essential to getting through the day. The lounge was empty as he poured the liquid into a cup.
And then:
A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Good morning, Y/n," that was Stephen's voice. Stephen's arms wrapped around Y/n's body, planting a hand on his chest. Y/n's breath hitched as Stephen planted hot, wet kisses on the back of his neck. "You were really amazing last night, you know?" Stephen nipped at Y/n's earlobe. "We definitely got to recreate that, huh?"
Y/n’s breathing hitched. He couldn’t deny that Stephen’s lips felt amazing against his skin, but he really needed to talk to him to make sure they were on the same page. And seeing how this guy was sucking on the back of his neck, It's clear that they weren’t on the same page.
Y/n turned around in Stephen's embrace, stopping the kisses and taking one step back. "Stephen, we need to talk," he said.
The man in question, on the other hand, shook his head. "Later. I want to make love to you again. Right here, right now."
His hand reached forward, palming Y/n's erection with his fingers. This caused Y/n to take two steps back, needing to put a sizable distance between them. There was no way they could do anything here, especially in a hospital where they could be walked in on at any given moment.
Stephen looked annoyed as he took two steps forward, placing his hand on Y/n’s shoulder. "What is there to talk about?"
Y/n took a deep breath in, gathering his thoughts together. "Look, man, last night was — it was a mistake. A good mistake, but still a mistake. We were drunk, and—"
Stephen's eyes narrowed, and his grip on Y/n's shoulders tightened. "A mistake?" he repeated, his voice dangerously quiet. "Is that truly how you feel?"
Y/n's heart stilled as he saw a flash of something dark in the surgeon's eyes. It was only a fleeting moment, but it was enough to send a chill down his spine. Still, he needed to get these words out. 
"Yes," Y/n said softly. "We should forget it. You know, pretend it never happened."
For a long moment, Stephen didn't voice anything, gray eyes fixed on Y/n’s face. Y/n honestly didn’t know what Stephen was going to say, but he just hoped that he didn’t blow up in his face or be upset with him. Then, slowly, he released Y/n’s shoulder and took a step back, grinning.
"Alright Y/n. If that's what you want, then we will pretend that it never happened." 
The h/c-haired doctor nodded, internally sighing in relief that Stephen understood where Y/n was coming from "Thanks for being so understanding. We should both probably get to work right about now." 
Stephen offered a small smile and opened the door for Y/n, who thanked him and left the lounge. Stephen headed to his office on the fourth floor, while Y/n headed to his office on the third floor.
Booting up his computer, the h/c haired doctor pulled up his patients' files and began reviewing them, preparing for the long appointments. His first patient was a young girl named Sarah, and he took a moment to familiarize himself with her medical history before her appointment.
Exactly at nine o'clock, there was a soft knock on the door. "Come in," Y/n called out. The door opened to reveal a brown-skinned muscular man and a young girl with brown hair and brown eyes peeking out from behind him. Y/n acknowledged the man's attractiveness but shook off the thought since it wasn't appropriate.
"Good morning, Mr. Flynn. Please, come in," Y/n said, offering them a warm smile and extending his hand for him to shake, "I'm Dr. L/n, but feel free to call me Y/n."
"Nice to meet you, sir," Jesse responded, shaking Y/n’s hand and stepping inside. the office, guiding his daughter forward. "This right here is my daughter, Sarah. She's a bit shy, so please bear with her."
"It's nice to meet you, Sarah," Y/n knelt down to the girl's eye level. "You can call me Y/n, too. No need for formalities." He patted on the examination table. "Take a seat here, and we can have a little chat?"
The young girl nodded silently and climbed up onto the examination table, her eyes darting around the room. Jesse took a seat in the empty chair next to his daughter as Y/n began the examination.
"Sarah, your dad explained to me on the phone last week that you've been having tummy aches lately. Can you talk to me about that?" Y/n's voice was friendly.
She twisted her hands in her lap. Then, in a small voice, she spoke, "My tummy hurts sometimes, and I don't know why."
Y/n nodded understandingly. "That must be scary. Can you tell me where it hurts? Does it hurt all the time or sometimes?"
Sarah pointed to her mid-region. "It hurts right here and it usually hurts after I eat."
"I see," Y/n murmured, making a note on her chart. "Okay, I'm going to take a look and see if I can figure out what might be causing you to have these tummy pains."
Sarah nodded, her hand reaching out for her father's hand, and Jesse held it.
Y/n proceeded to perform a gentle examination, taking care to explain each step to both Sarah and Jesse. He asked additional questions about Sarah’s diet, any recent changes in her routine, and any other symptoms she experienced.
When the exam was over, Y/n concluded that Sarah was likely experiencing some digestive issues, possibly due to a mild food intolerance. He suggested dietary changes for her and an over-the-counter prescription to help soothe her stomach.
"Thank you, Y/n," relief was present in Jesse’s voice. "We really appreciate your help. Sarah hasn't been well lately, and we wanted to make sure she was okay."
Y/n waved off the thanks. "It's my job. I'll send the prescription to your pharmacy, and you can pick it up tomorrow. Try the prescriptions for a couple of weeks, and if she shows no signs of improvements, we'll discuss further steps." He reached into his candy drawer and offered Sarah a lollipop. "And here's a lollipop for being the most amazing patient I've ever had!"
A smile appeared on Sarah’s face as she took the candy from him. "Thanks, Y/n!"
"You're welcome. It was nice meeting you and I hope that you feel better soon."
Jesse and Sarah exited the room, and Y/n began sending Sarah's prescription to her pharmacy. Just as he finished, there was another knock banging on his door.
"Come in," he called out, expecting one of the nurses or maybe his next patient.
To his surprise, it was Jesse who poked his head into the room. "Sorry to bother you, Y/n. I just realized I left my jacket here," he walked over to the chair where he was sitting and picked up the jacket.
"It's no problem at all," Y/n assured him.
Jesse slipped his arms into the sleeves of his jacket and turned toward the door. Just as he was about to exit, he paused and turned back, as if to say something.
"Listen," Jesse began. "I know this might be a bit forward, but I wanted to ask: do you have a special someone in your life?"
Y/n's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He hadn't expected this line of questioning, but he supposed it was not uncommon for patients' family members to become curious about their doctors' private lives. He wasn't sure about telling his patient's father that he likes dudes since he didn’t know his stance on same-sex couples, but something compelled him to tell him.
"Well," he chose his words thoughtfully. "to answer your question, no, there's no special someone in my life. There used to be a guy but he lost that title privilege."
Jesse nodded, taking a step closer to Y/n's desk. "Interesting. So, if I were to ask you to join me for dinner tomorrow, what are the chances that you would say yes?"
Y/n's heart skipped a beat, and he found himself momentarily at a loss for words. He had not expected this turn of events. Jesse was a handsome dude, no doubt, and seemed like a good guy. Y/n would be down for it, but the timing wasn't right.
"Oh, I'm flattered, Jesse. Truly," Y/n said sincerely, voraciously, "But to be honest, I just got out of a two-year relationship, and I'm not looking to date right now."
Jesse's face fell, but he gave a nod. "I get it. It's too bad I didn't meet you three years ago. Have a good rest of your day."
Jesse turned the doorknob and left Y/n's office. Y/n watched him go, intrigued by his forwardness. He wondered when the next time they'd see one another again.
And Y/n found his question answered by the time Valentine’s Day rolled around. However, not only did he find the answer to his question but he found a revelation as well, a scary discovery about Stephen.
As Y/n sat in his office, writing notes, he heard a knock on the door. He called out for the individual to come in, but instead received another knock. A bewildered expression crossed Y/n's face as he got up to open the door himself, only to find no one outside. However, he spotted a bouquet of roses and a box of expensive chocolates, each with a note attached.
The note attached to the roses said, "For my one true love, Y/n. I can't wait to see you again soon. -Stephen." The note on the chocolates read, "To sweeten your day, my love." There was a heart under it.
Confusion painted a portrait on his face. It seemed as though Stephen believed they were in a relationship, despite Y/n's clear indication that he wanted to forget about their one night together. Y/n knew he needed to set the record straight and speak to Stephen as soon as possible.
His opportunity came during lunchtime when he was sitting at one of the tables outside. Stephen approached and took a seat next to him without asking, greeting Y/n politely and inquiring about his day.
A forced smile appeared on Y/n's face. "It's going well, thank you. And yours?"
"Wonderful, now that I see you," Stephen replied, reaching over to take Y/n's hand in his own. "Did you get the flowers and chocolates I sent? I know you like roses."
Y/n nodded slowly. "Yes, I did, and—"
"Shh, Y/n," Stephen interrupted, pressing a finger to Y/n's lips and running it over his bottom lip. "No need to thank me. That's what good boyfriends do."
Y/n's eyes widened because what the—? Did he just hear that correctly? Stephen thought that they were— "B-Boyfriends?" 
Stephen smiled and planted a kiss on Y/n's cheek, his fingers running over Y/n's knuckles. "Yes, boyfriends. You and I, of course. Where do you want me to take you for Valentine's Day dinner tonight? I know this amazing Italian restaurant—"
"Stop," he removed Stephen's hand from his and held up his own hand. "Look, I think you've got the wrong impression. We aren't boyfriends; we're not dating."
"And why is that?" Stephen questioned, scooting closer to Y/n in his chair. "We had sex, Y/n. That makes you mine now."
At that moment, Y/n realized that something was seriously wrong with Stephen. His insistence that they were dating, despite Y/n's clear rejection, was an obvious sign of delusion. Y/n knew he had to be firm and stand his ground.
Y/n shook his head. Why wasn't Stephen getting it? "I'm not yours. At all. We only had a night together. I am not interested in pursuing anything further. I don't want to be with you. Do you understand that?"
Stephen's jaw clenched, and for a split second, Y/n saw a dangerous flash in his gray eyes. Then, Stephen pushed the table away and stormed off, muttering something about Y/n being ungrateful.
Y/n let out a sigh, feeling drained by the conversation. He hoped Stephen would finally understand and leave him alone.
But Y/n really didn’t feel like working for the rest of the day, so he took the rest of the day off and asked his secretary to reschedule his remaining patients.
As he made his way to the parking lot, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He was half expecting it to be Stephen, but he was relieved to find Jesse standing there.
"Oh, wassup, Jesse. What are you doing here? Is everything alright with Sarah?"
"Yes, she's doing much better, thanks to you. The pills you recommended worked well," he responded. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something else."
Y/n raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh?"
"Well, it's Valentine's Day, and I know it's a bit last minute, but I was wondering if you'd like to join me for dinner tonight?"
Y/n was at a loss for words. Sure, he did find himself wanting to get to know this guy better. But he hesitated, unsure if it was a good idea since there are ethical implications of dating a patient's family member. He could get in a lot of trouble.
"I appreciate the offer, Jesse, but I don't know if it's appropriate," Y/n attempted to explain. "I mean, you're Sarah’s father, I'm her doctor. It’s a conflict of interest." 
Jesse waved his hand dismissively. "Nonsense. It’s only a conflict of interest if we’re dating, which we’re not. We’ll just be two people enjoying a meal together. What do you say, doc? It could be fun."
Well, when Jesse puts it like that, Y/n guess that sort of makes sense. Since they’re technically not dating, it wouldn’t cross any ethical lines in a literal manner.
Besides, his friends had Valentine's Day plans, and he was the only odd one out. Y/n was planning on spending the day in his living room and ordering some pizza.
"Well, I do enjoy a good meal and good company," the h/c-haired male agreed to the dinner. "Where did you have in mind?"
"There's this restaurant downtown that recently opened," Jesse suggested. "It's called Lepley's and it has good reviews. I've been wanting to try it. Sound good?"
"It sounds perfect. Shall we meet there? Around seven?" Y/n gave a thumbs up.
"Seven it is," Jesse confirmed.
Jesse walked back to his car, and Y/n entered his own vehicle, still processing what just happened. Momentarily, Y/n wondered what the evening would bring.
Unbeknownst to Y/n, a certain man with a goatee had watched the interaction. Stephen's gaze followed Y/n as he drove from the hospital, a dark look in his eyes.
XXXXX XXXXX
Y/n arrived at the restaurant promptly at seven, his heart fluttering with a mixture of excitement and nerves. He had taken the time to dress nicely, opting for jeans and a dressy shirt. Casual yet stylish too.
As he entered the cozy establishment, he spotted Jesse sitting at a table by the window, looking around the place as the gentle music played in the background.
"Y/n, over here!" Jesse waved him over.
Y/n made his way through the bustling restaurant, feeling a pair of eyes on him as he walked. He couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious, but he forced those thoughts aside, reminding himself that this was simply a nice, friendly dinner.
No extra strings attached. 
"Hey, Jesse," Y/n greeted politely, sliding into the seat across from Jesse. "This place looks wonderful." He took another glance around the loud, crowded place. Valentine's Day made this place packed.
"It does, indeed," the man sitting across from Y/n agreed, brown eyes flickering over to the fish tank that was on display. "I've heard great things about this place." 
A waiter approached their table, handing them menus and offering them drinks. Y/n and Jesse both ordered a lemonade.
"So, what's it like being a doctor?" Jesse asked, leaning back in his seat to give Y/n all his attention. "I imagine long hours."
Y/n nodded in agreement. "Long hours for sure. It's very demanding and a lot of work, yet there's nothing more rewarding than helping patients with health issues."
"That paycheck must be very rewarding too," he said. "With that salary, you get to live in a big house and drive a fancy car."
The waiter returned with their drinks and took out his notepad, asking them what they wanted to order. Jesse ordered a steak with a side of mac and cheese, and broccoli cheese casserole. Y/n then ordered a simple cheeseburger and fries. The waiter said their meals would arrive shortly as he took their menus and left the two alone.
Y/n took a sip from his lemonade before answering Jesse’s remark. "Well, believe it or not, I don’t live in a big house. I live in a small apartment. However, I plan on upgrading to a house once my student loans are fully paid off, which should be real soon. I also plan on keeping my Chrysler. I’ve never been much of a big spender; I like the financial stability that comes with being a doctor. But enough about me. What do you do for a living?"
Jesse explained that he works in the finance department of Stark Industries. He analyzes investments and monitors the company’s financial performance. That was simply remarkable, especially to work for such a renowned company.
Soon, their food arrived, and they dug in, the conversation flowing easily between them. They talked about their hobbies and even shared embarrassing stories from their childhood, laughing together.
As the evening progressed, Y/n relaxed, enjoying the time he shared with Jesse. It had been a very long time since he'd connected with someone so effortlessly, and Y/n found himself hoping that this wouldn't be the last time they met up.
Y/n and Jesse ordered a rich chocolate soufflé to go and decided to split the bill, both insisting on contributing. As they walked out of Lepley's, they realized that their cars were parked on opposite sides of the lot. Jesse's eyes wandered to Y/n.
"Well, I think it's time we call it a night. Thank you for having dinner with me."
Y/n smiled. "Thank you for inviting me. It was definitely better than spending this day alone with a box of pepperoni pizza."
Jesse nodded, placing a hand on Y/n's shoulder. "Happy Valentine's Day, Y/n."
"Happy Valentine's Day, Jesse," he said.
And then, the two men parted ways. As Y/n walked to his car, he felt a sense of content. He was glad he had gone out tonight, and he could say that thoughts of his ex-boyfriend were no longer at the forefront of his mind. Despite the rocky start to his day with Stephen, the night with Jesse had ended on a good note.
Or so he thought.
Y/n had just unlocked his car door when he felt a hand cover his mouth and pull him backward. Startled, he tried to push his assailant off, but the person wouldn't let go, keeping a tight grip on him. He was dragged into an alley, and the arms around him finally released their grip. Y/n scrambled forward and turned to see who the fuck had dragged him in there.
And it was Stephen. Fucking. Strange.
"What the fuck Stephen?!" Y/n shouted, his heart pounding hard and fast in his chest. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
Stephen remained silent, staring at Y/n angrily. He was pissed. Before Y/n could react, Stephen pushed him up against the wall, his hand wrapping around Y/n's throat, squeezing the sensitive area a bit.
The dark-haired doctor leaned in close, their noses almost touching. "Who was that guy you were having dinner with?"
"I... I was just hanging out with a friend."
"A friend?" Stephen's lip curled. "Is that what you call it? I saw the way you were looking at him. I won't tolerate cheating."
"You can't cheat on someone when you're not together, which we aren't!" Y/n felt drained by this entire situation. This dude was crazy and needs serious help.
"Oh, we’re together. Always," Stephen pressed his body against Y/n's and dry-humped him from the front. "and forever." Stephen then pressed his lips to Y/n’s. The kiss was aggressive, almost violent, and Y/n tried to pull away, but Stephen held him in place, his hand leaving Y/n's throat to grip his jaw. "You always did like it rough," he murmured against his mouth before pulling away with a grin.
But the grin soon faded as Y/n's foot connected with Stephen's groin, causing him to double over in pain and drop to the ground. Y/n seized the opportunity to run back to his car and drive away, his hands shaking on the steering wheel. As he turned off his car engine, entered his apartment, and dropped his keys on the table, Y/n's hands were still trembling.
This was the last straw for Y/n.
Tomorrow morning, Y/n is filing a report with Human Resources and if that didn't resolve the situation, he would consider transferring to a different department. This kind of behavior cannot continue.
XXXXX XXXXX
Y/n was up early the next morning, determined to meet up with HR before his shift started. He was going to put an end to this situation with Stephen once and for all. It was clear that Stephen had developed an unhealthy obsession with him, and the h/c-haired male refused to put himself in more situations like this.
After a shower and a cup of coffee, Y/n dressed in a sharp suit, ready to face the confrontation head-on. He was aware that presenting himself confidently and assertively would be important to being taken seriously. As he finished tying his tie, the news played in the background — something he usually ignored while getting ready for work. But this time, Y/n turned the volume up and his eyes were wide with shock at the reporter's words.
A picture of Stephen appeared on the screen, and the reporter explained that Strange had been involved in a major car crash, his vehicle flying off the road and crashing into a nearby riverbank. He had died from the accident last night.
Stephen was dead.
A mixture of emotions washed over Y/n, but the predominant feeling was... relief. He was relieved that he wouldn't have to deal with Stephen or his antics anymore, and he could go to work without always worrying about being harassed. A smile crept onto Y/n's features as he shut off the TV with a click of the remote. He no longer had to worry about talking to HR.
Today was going to be a great day at work. In fact, it turned out to be his best.
As the months passed, Y/n's life only improved. He finally finished paying off his student loans and upgraded to a four-bedroom house, ecstatic to move out of the city and away from the constant chaos that seemed to surround his old apartment building. He received a salary raise at work, took a vacation, and even adopted a golden retriever named Max to share his new home with. His life was great, and he's going to keep it like that.
Y/n was now sitting on his couch in the living room, channel surfing as his dog snoozed by his side. A huge storm raged outside, with lightning flashing, thunder rumbling, and rain pouring down. He had just found a channel to settle on when the lights flickered and the TV shut off.
"Damn this storm," Y/n muttered.
With a sigh, the man grabbed his phone and headed toward the basement. When he reached the circuit breaker, he flipped the switch, and his lights came back on.
Y/n returned upstairs, but he felt too tired to stay up any longer. He had been dozing off before the lights went out, so he decided to go to bed. After changing into his pajamas, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and let out a small scream. Stephen Strange was standing behind him, a smirk tainting his features. But when Y/n turned, no one was there.
He looked around the room, ensuring that no one was in his house, and shook his head, thinking his mind was playing tricks on him. Stephen was dead; there was no way he could be standing here. It had to be his imagination or something.
With that thought, Y/n got underneath the covers and closed his eyes tightly. The sound of rain always helped him fall asleep faster. He entered the first stage, the twilight stage, when the man heard a weird noise that he couldn't describe. He opened his eyes to see an orange portal materializing on his bed. And he backed away very fast. What the hell was that? Just then, he was sucked into the portal, only to find himself... back in his room?
Y/n blinked. He realized that he was, indeed, back in his own bedroom, but something felt off. How had he fallen through some sort of portal in his room, only to end up back in the same place?
"Leave it to you to make pajamas look sexy, Y/n," a familiar voice commented.
The h/c-haired male stilled, recognizing the voice. No, no, no, that can't be right.
But, sure enough, when Y/n turned, there stood Stephen Strange. He was alive...? And wearing some sort of cloak.
"W-What are you doing here? They said you died in the car crash," he stammered.
Stephen threw his head back in laughter as if that idea was totally preposterous. "Well, technically, I did die in the crash, I was saved, thanks to surgery. I went to Kamar-Taj, became a wizard, and all that good stuff. The Sorcerer Supreme here."
Y/n couldn't believe this. How had this guy managed to do bad shit and become a wizard? It seemed unfair. Y/n tried to take a step back, wanting to put more distance between them, but Stephen held up his hand, and Y/n's lower body froze. He couldn't move the lower half of his body — no matter how hard he tried.
"What the hell did you do to me?" Y/n tried to run but, once more, couldn't do it.
"Just something to ensure you don't run off on me," Stephen explained, walking towards Y/n until he was standing right in front of him, eyes glancing at Y/n lips. "You know, I've missed the taste of you."
Before he could speak, Stephen's mouth captured his in a fierce, possessive kiss. Y/n couldn't move his lower body, but he could still move his face, so he turned his head to the side. Stephen gripped his jaw, forcing Y/n to maintain eye contact, and continued his relentless, demanding kiss. Finally, Stephen pulled away, his breathing ragged. "Tell me you love me," he whispered, cupping Y/n's face in his hands, his thumbs stroking Y/n's cheeks.
Y/n shook his head, his breath coming in short gasps, "I hate you so much, man."
The wizard paused, his eyes darkening. "You hate me?" he repeated slowly, his voice low and dangerous. And he looked furious, pissed. With a wave of his hand, Y/n was thrown on the bed and landed with a thud. Stephen climbed on top of him, pinning his arms against the bed. "You hate me after everything I've done for you? After everything I've given you?"
"Yes, I do," Y/n breathed out truthfully. "Because you're fucking crazy, Stephen."
"Now, that’s one thing we can agree on," Stephen released his right hand to run his finger over Y/n’s jawline. "I’m crazy for you, and you are going to love me."
Then, something weird began happening to Y/n. Longing and desire engulfed him, his thoughts filling with images of the person he hated most. No matter how hard he tried to think of someone else, his thoughts kept returning to Stephen.
"What," Y/n shook his head as if he was trying to shake whatever was happening to him off. "What did you do to me?" His vision was starting to become blurry.
"Rest now, my love. We'll talk later,"
Y/n soon slipped into unconsciousness, his mind clouded with confusion and a growing sense of unease for the future.
Stephen smiled as he watched Y/n fall into a deep sleep, his breath evening out. He moved to place Y/n's head in his lap, gently stroking his hair. Even asleep, Y/n looked good, just as he was that night.
The Sorcerer Supreme's thoughts drifted back to that fateful night with Y/n, the night that had changed everything. He remembered the way Y/n had looked at him across the crowded bar, their eyes locking briefly before Y/n quickly looked away, taking another sip from his drink. Stephen had known in that instant that Y/n was interested, and their amazing night together had only confirmed his theory—they were meant to be together. That night was literal proof of their love.
When Stephen had woken up the next morning to find Y/n gone, he had been confused about his whereabouts. But he had shrugged it off, absolutely certain that he would see his lover again soon.
And when he saw Y/n in the lounge, he couldn't resist coming up behind him and kissing his neck. God, Y/n's skin had felt so good against his lips, and he had the sudden urge to take Y/n right then and there. But Y/n had surprised him by saying that their night together had been a mistake. There was no way that night could've been a mistake. It was perfect.
Stephen knew that Y/n was only saying that because he was scared — scared of getting into another relationship. And that was okay. Stephen would give him the space he needed because he knew that deep down, Y/n felt the same way.
So, he had given him space, settling for watching him like a hawk from afar. But when Valentine's Day rolled around, the best holiday for couples, Stephen knew it was the perfect opportunity to spend some time together. Y/n had more than enough time to get over that stupid ex, and now it was their time to be together.
Stephen had also decided to get Y/n some generic Valentine's Day gifts, chocolates, and flowers, and planned to take him to a fancy restaurant in the city. But once again, Y/n didn't want to go out with him, which was starting to piss him off. After all, they were boyfriends after their night together, so why did Y/n keep insisting that they weren't? It's annoying.
However, what was even more annoying was discovering that Y/n was going on a date with someone else. Someone who wasn't him. Stephen's blood had boiled with unruly anger. How dare he cheat on him like this? He wouldn't stand for it.
The surgeon hadn't thought twice before he pulled Y/n into an alley after his date and scolded the man for cheating. Y/n was clearly playing hard to get, wanting to make him jealous, and it was working. Stephen was going to show Y/n exactly who he belonged to, which had resulted in a kick to the groin. That had been painful, but he had recovered quickly and hopped into his car to follow Y/n. He wouldn't let Y/n escape his grasp.
That's when he got into a car accident and died briefly during surgery before being brought back to life. He was then taken to Kamar-Taj, where Stephen had become the Sorcerer Supreme and the Master of the Mystic Arts. Pretty cool.
Throughout his time there, one person remained at the forefront of his mind.
Y/n.
Stephen had also realized that his love for Y/n was still strong, and he knew that Y/n loved him as well, even if he was too stubborn to admit it. Now that he was a wizard, he was going to use his abilities to bring Y/n to his new home.
And that's exactly what he did.
Stephen brought Y/n to his new home near the Sanctum, using magic to make the inside of the home identical to Y/n's old room. He knew that Y/n would love him for the time and effort he put into making sure everything was just right.
Once again, Y/n surprised him by saying that he hated him, which frustrated him.
Was it that hard for Y/n to accept their love? Well, if he wanted to be stubborn, Stephen would have to make him see it. He cast a spell, a love spell, to ensure Y/n's devotion. It was his way of making Y/n see the truth — they belonged together.
Y/n woke up sometime later, yawning. His eyes fluttered open. The first thing he saw was Stephen, sitting next to him.
"Are you okay, my love?" Stephen asked, fingers tracing patterns on Y/n's cheek.
Y/n smiled lovingly at Stephen, his pearly white teeth flashing. "Of course, I'm okay. I get to wake up every day next to you, handsome." He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Stephen's neck, pulling him into a nice, loving hug.
Stephen's smile was victorious, and he melted into the embrace, his arms coming around to possessively wrap around Y/n's waist. Y/n was finally his, and he had finally admitted that he loved Stephen as much as Stephen loved him.
He knew that some might call him obsessive or even delusional, but he didn't care. He did nothing but help Y/n see the truth. In his eyes, Y/n was his and his alone. He would do whatever it took to keep it that way, no matter what. After all, what’s life without a little danger?
XXXXX XXXXX
234 notes · View notes
goingmerryfics · 3 months
Text
Catches you crying w/ Zoro, Ace, & Law
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Content: Gender Neutral reader, NSFW free. Law’s part has a reader who deals with chronic pain, condition not specified.
Notes* Part 2! Read part 1 here
Zoro
There’s not many places to hide on the ship, so while Zoro is on his way to the kitchen to bother Sanji for a snack, it’s not surprising that he catches the sound of you sniffling on his way
He doesn’t even think twice as he peeks into where you’re hiding to see what’s going on
“Hm? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
He catches you off guard, and you try to wipe away your tears in a rush, muttering that you’re fine, it’s nothing, you’re not crying
Zoro closes the door behind him, leaving you both to privacy
“You’re not. It’s ok to not be ok, you know. Just tell me what’s wrong so we can try to fix it.”
He’s stern with you in this, but not pushy. You know that he’s a problem solver, and communication is how he problem solves
You take a deep breath and start to explain how you’re unhappy with how Sanji treats you all the time, and you’re not sure how to better your relationship with him to one where you’re more comfortable in his presence
Admittedly, Zoro is someone who you didn’t want to go to about this because of his already tense relationship with the cook, but surprisingly he keeps a level head about it
His first piece of advice is to talk it out. He asks if you’ve ever tried to have a conversation over his treatment towards you, to which you shake your head
You’re worried about coming off the wrong way
Zoro shakes his head and insists you stick up for yourself
He even helps you to plan out what you’re going to say to him, offering advice on how to word things differently to get your point across
He offers to be there for back-up if need be but you don’t allow him to do that. You didn’t want to make anything tense
“It’s ok to cry. But you need to remember that all of us here on this crew are here for you, so don’t hide your emotions from the ones who can help you feel better, ok?”
Ace
It’s still dark out when Ace is woken up by the sound of shuffling in the room
He reaches over for you to pull you close to him, but only finds a cold spot and frowns
His eyes slowly open and he squints while he tries to adjust to the low light, given only by the moon outside of his window
He sits up and rubs his eyes
He hears the sniffle again and now he’s wide awake as he realizes that can only be you
And not just you, but you crying
He calls out your name into the darkness, and the small hiccups and sniffs cease
He leans over the bed to find you on the floor, knees pulled up against your chest
You ask him if you’d woken him, apologize, and tell him to go back to sleep in that order
“Can’t sleep without my pretty little cuddle buddy, firefly.”
He shifts to throw his legs over the side, grabs the blanket and comes down to sit next to you, draping the blanket over your shoulders
“Wanna tell me why we’re down here?”
He asks it softly, with the full intent of backing off if you say no
You explain how you had a nightmare and its contents, and how you didn’t want to wake him up over something stupid
He tells you it isn’t stupid if it made you cry, and he can sleep anytime. That he’d rather be woken up so he can be there for you when you need him
You’re always there for him when he’s upset, he wants to return the favour
You both crawl up back into bed and he pulls you to his bare chest, legs wrapped around your waist, and a hand in your hair, petting gently to soothe you
Law
Usually the both of you would get up together. You’d get dressed, have breakfast, and then split up to do your daily duties
But this morning was going to be one of those days, it seemed
Law gets up just fine, and he’s just barely got his jeans on when he notices you haven’t moved
“Come on, we can’t sleep in and be late again. You remember what happened last time, right?”
You groan in response, so he crawls up before he’s even buttoned up his jeans and starts to press kisses on your face. It’s a sweet tactic, but your joints are achy and sore, and you tell him that
His face falls- a condition he can’t do much about, unfortunately
“Alright, stay in bed. Let me get you a heat pack and some tea and I’ll be right back, ok?”
He tucks you into an extra blanket- he knows how the heat and warmth help you feel better, and he’s been meaning to get you a heated blanket but no where you’ve stopped yet seems to have one
Law goes on and does his morning routine, skipping breakfast in favour of getting your tea and heat pack. Bepo asks about you when he sees you’re not with Law, but he quickly assures the furry friend that you’ll be ok, you’re just taking a day off
Meanwhile you’re sure this time it’s worse than normal, and you force yourself up with the blankets held around your shoulders to go find him- but you only get two steps away from your bed before your knees give
You hit the floor and hiss in pain
Well, this is your life now. Damn your body
When Law returns to you with your things, you’re curled up under the blankets, trying to deal with the pain you’re in, on the floor. Law quickly sets your things on the side and comes to check under the blanket, and his heart hurts at how your eyes flood with tears
“Let’s get you back to bed. Here, hold onto me.”
He gets you back into the comfy bed and leans down to kiss away your tears
Then he puts the heat pack between your knees and you sigh as you feel some relief in your muscles
“I’m sorry, I should have come back sooner.”
He decides to say fuck it and ditches work for the rest of the day so he can take care of you
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jinkicake · 1 year
Text
Runaway
No matter how far you run, he’ll always catch you. 
Yandere!Diluc, Dottore, Zhongli x Reader
A/N: Hello, my friends..... I was not able to write ANYTHING this week and then I thought about yandere!diluc for .2 seconds and pulled this out of thin air.... if i take a turn toward yandere after this, this is my apology.
!! YANDERE IS ITS OWN WARNING !! ((maybe ooc! idk))
WC - 2,355
~~~
Diluc R. 
“I have a present for you,” Kaeya softly coos behind his drink at the Angel’s Share. Diluc, with the heavy bags positioned below his eyes, glares at his brother. He doesn’t have time for this, not when you are missing from his sight. “it is worth your time to come with me, Master Diluc.” 
And that’s how it happened, the two of them walking through the Whispering Woods as Diluc’s heavy hand rests on his claymore at all times. Kaeya continues to walk confidently in front of him, a sort of air surrounds him that tells the redhead he’s more than thoroughly pleased with his own actions. 
“I heard you lost something recently,” Kaeya starts and the hand on Diluc’s red weapon grows more secure. 
“Kaeya.” Diluc snaps at his brother, warning him to stop at once. 
“See, if I ever lose something, I always have my name on it so everyone knows who to return it to.” The cavalry captain comes to a complete stop before boldly pointing in a direction of a campfire. “You should try it. Perhaps then this situation will not repeat itself.”
Diluc watches warily as Kaeya begins to walk back to the gates but, at the promise of you, he trudges on through the forest. He follows the light between the branches and nearly stiffens when he comes across your figure. Your eyes widen in shock but no noise comes out due to the tape plastered across your lips. The closer Diluc gets, the further you try to press yourself back into the tree that you’re tied to. 
“Beloved, how could this have happened?” At once he drops to his knees and unties the rope around your waist, not yet ripping the material tying your wrists and ankles together. Diluc touches you with a gentle hand, a soft touch as he continues to look you over. He’s been so worried about you since you managed to escape the Winery. 
For nights, he searched every inch of Mondstadt and did not sleep a single wink. How could the cavalry captain have found you when your husband couldn’t? He’ll have to confront his brother about this.
Someone must have hidden you. 
But, Diluc doesn’t have the time to worry about that now when you’re right in front of him again. 
“The outside world is cruel, isn’t it?” He takes note of the way you are shivering before taking off his own jacket to cover your upper body. The bruises against your skin caused by the rope make him sigh. “Let’s go home.”
You thrash against his touch as he effortlessly picks you up, carrying you in his arms. It pains him to see your eyes so full of worry, don’t you understand that he’s here to help you?
“It’s been quiet the last few days without you,” Diluc starts and you tightly swallow in an effort to avoid this conversation. Instantly your eyes close shut. “oh, you must be tired.” 
“We will continue this when we get back home.”
The next time you open your eyes, it is because of the sound of water running. You’re still in Diluc’s arms, supported by his strong build, but now he is focused on the water instead of you. The tape on your mouth is gone, the ropes are long gone, and so are your clothes. 
“This will help you sleep better tonight,” Diluc murmurs into your neck as he slowly lowers you into the bathtub.
“I missed you,” Diluc confesses and the raw vulnerability in his eyes makes you flinch. You choose to focus on the water instead of his genuine kindness. “so much. Not a moment went by where I did not think of you.”
“If there is something that I did to make you leave, you must let me know. A judgment of error can be erased, I can make this life better for you. Let me,” As his hands grab your own, squeezing them beneath his rough skin, you merely blink. “(Y/N).” 
He never calls you by your name in private, it’s always a sweet pet name. 
“I want to go outside.” Your voice is raw, it’s the first time you’ve spoken in hours. Diluc looks pained by this request as his eyes cascade to the ground in shame. 
“I cannot allow that of you. You must understand how cruel it is out there-”
“Just within the lawn of the winery, I won’t go any further than that.” You plead and turn to face the man entirely. Diluc is stunned by your passion and still looks unconvinced, even as you lift your hand to cup his cheeks. 
Instantly, he leans into your touch. 
“Once you get used to that land, you’ll ask for more.” He murmurs, more so to himself. “I apologize, my dear, it pains me to deny you of anything but, no.” Diluc stands from where he was kneeling beside the tub to grab a towel hanging on the wall. “When you want to go outside, you will go with me.”
“And you will never leave this house without me again.”
Dottore
“Zandik,” You weakly murmur as your vision starts to focus. The hue of light blue forms into his wavy hair and the ensemble of colors morphs into his Harbinger uniform. All at once, you manage to see the true picture in front of you. “get away from me!” You scramble to sit up but aren’t able to move. The fatigue now in your arms is heavy, so heavy. Under your weight, you buckle and fall back against the plush hospital bed. 
“I’m known as The Doctor now,” He grins and leans forward enough that the tip of his mask pokes your nose. “aren’t you curious as to why you are here?” The closer he gets, the more you start to freak out. You thrash against the restraints that are pinning you down to the hospital bed but, you’re not able to get anywhere.
“Leave me alone,” Using all your strength, you lift up your exhausted leg and kick it in his general direction. Dottore doesn’t have to move and doesn’t even flinch as he wraps his gloved hand around your ankle. Roughly, he keeps your foot pinned to his chest. Breathing is becoming harder and speaking is almost now impossible to do. It’s a miracle that your slurred, tired words are still enough to use for communication. “Don’t touch me-”
“I will do as I please.” His cold attitude nips at you but, you’re far too out of it to care. You should be worried about his clenched jaw and tight grip. Instead, all you can think about is sleep. 
You can’t fall asleep in his presence. 
“This must be a nightmare,” It’s the only explanation for all of this. You haven’t seen the ex-student, your ex-boyfriend, in years and there’s no way he would be back in Sumeru without you knowing. The Akademiya would be fools to let him back into the city. 
“You still think of me?” He leans closer to you and you stubbornly turn your head to the side so that you don’t have to look at him. “Dream of me?” His hand lowers your leg to the sheets before running up your calf, lightly cupping the muscle as his thumb rubs soft strokes into your skin.
“Stop.” You know that you can’t keep your eyes open for much longer, with each passing moment your blinks are getting heavier and longer. There’s a hopeful part of you that pleads with the Lesser Lord Kusanali that this will all be over once you wake up again. “You’re not supposed to be here,”
He watches you with interest, with a certain fascination that he used to harbor for you all those years ago. Pathetic mask on his face or not, you can still read him like an open book. It makes you feel sick. 
“Where should I be then?” His fingers move up to the back of your knee, gently resting against your skin as he rubs gentle circles. You take a deep breath before looking over at him, eyes half-lidded and your body ready to give out entirely. 
“As far away from me as possible.” You knew that this was going to anger him, deeply frustrate him. Dottore reacts just as you thought he would as his gloved fingers dig painfully into your leg. In a pitiful attempt, you try to squirm away from him but, you can’t move a single inch. Nothing has changed from before. 
“You still have a mouth on you, hm?” He sneers and the rasp in his voice makes your temples ache. Whenever he speaks, he reminds you of a dark melody. You can’t get tired of it no matter how many times you hear the soothing sound. 
“Please leave me alone,” One more time, you try to beg him again. You fool yourself into thinking that maybe, for once, he can give you up. Your breathing is getting slower and you know that by now, you’re out of words. 
“Don’t act so foolish.” His scowl makes you whimper and you finally give up on trying to stay awake. Your eyes flutter shut with the intention of remaining that way for some period of time. It’s a shame that you can still hear him talk, you can still hear his cold words that destroy your entire resolve and crush your world. “You know that for as long as I breathe, I will keep coming back for you.” 
Zhongli
“You thought you could run from me?” Where he stands tall before you, Zhongli looks wrongfully disappointed. His amber eyes are dull with judgment, brows furrowed in irritation at the thought of being separated from you. “Part from me?” His thick arms are crossed over his chest, muscles bulging against the dark material of his sleeves. “What you have committed is a breach of our contract, a crime against the natures of this world.” 
Your lips part open to speak, to defend yourself but, you’re silenced by the pointed look in his eyes. From where you kneel before him on the cold ground of this mountaintop, you’ve never felt smaller. 
“Due to your unlawful actions, a serious crime awaits you.” Zhongli looks you over, glances over you with his hardened eyes before beginning to walk past you. 
You can’t let him walk away like this, you feel completely and utterly useless. 
“I’ll do it again,” You quietly spit and Zhongli is close enough to hear it, just barely another stride in. His eyes widen with a certain anger he’s not sure he’s felt in years before he tightly grips your shoulder. 
No, something like this can never happen again.
“Are you threatening me?” He asks slowly, calmly but you can hear the shake that swallows each word. You can’t bring yourself to nod or shake your head as he stands behind you, fingers pressing into your collarbone. “Perhaps, I have been too kind with you.” 
That’s all the warning you get before he roughly pulls you to your feet by your bicep, you’re dragged behind him by his tight grip. No matter how hard you resist and try to dig your feet into the ground, lower yourself to the rocks, your perseverance is no match for Zhongli’s strength. 
“If I must, I will hold you over the cliff side until you willingly submit to me.” The cruel words are matched by his actions as he holds you over the path. All that stands between you and the faraway ground is a single hand. Zhongli ignores your desperate attempt to get back onto land, in fact, his grip slightly loosens the more that you move. 
“Okay, okay! I’m sorry!” You cannot take your eyes off the ground, the yellow grass and clear streams seem so peaceful, so calming. Calming if not for your heart nearly failing in your chest. “I won’t run away anymore, I promise!”’
“You promise to go back to the house and never leave it unless I tell you to?” He watches how your expression falters, how you lie through your teeth with an obedient nod. “I don’t believe you.” For a moment, he lets go of you entirely. For a moment, you’re nothing against the harsh confines of gravity. Nothing stands between you and the ground hundreds of meters below. 
But, then, Zhongli grabs your flailing hand. He lifts you up high enough that you’re above the mountain top that he stands on but, your feet aren’t touching the ground. Even with a struggle, your feet can not touch the ground. 
“I give you second chances because I love you.” The tears in your eyes blind you from the raw emotion in his own amber hues and to the frustrated sneer on his face. “Why do you put yourself in such dangerous positions? I cannot trust you to be on your own, you understand, don’t you?” 
Slowly, Zhongli lowers you back to the ground. The feeling in your legs is gone from being tossed around like a doll and you immediately slump against him, gripping his chest to stand upright. Your beloved supports you with a strong hand around your waist. 
As he tilts his head, lowering his face to your ear, you squeeze your eyes together tightly. 
“(Y/N), try to run away from me again and I will let you fall further next time.” The mere mention of his torture makes your knees buckle and his touch only grows tighter. “But, do not worry. Your husband will always catch you.” 
You find it odd how Zhongli refers to himself as your husband, as something that concerns only the mortal man. But, then, you feel his ring pressing into your spine. Even as an immortal, he takes this marriage much more seriously than you do. You can’t possibly understand it. 
His raw emotion, his deep feelings, you’ll never understand the true extent of them. Zhongli has waited for ages to feel like this, to feel so satisfied with his tasks. He’ll never let you go.
“I will never let anything bad happen to you. I promise.”
2K notes · View notes
hugmekenobi · 5 months
Text
Next Steps
A Bad Batch Post S2 Oneshot
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Gif by @im-no-jedi
Hunter x femaleJedi!reader
Summary: Although your return to the Batch has made things better, there are still elements of your past you have to face...
Warnings: Canon-typical violence, made-up timeline and what I imagine what Echo will be doing, limited use of y/n, swearing, my views on mindsets, referenced 'dead' characters and nightmares, mentions/descriptions of torture, detailed scar descriptions, angst, light fluff, nickname 'sweetheart', some emotional hurt/comfort, body and general worship, Hunter being dominant but a consent king, hint of a praise kink, Smut (non-explicit descriptions of making out/kissing, grinding, edging, fingering, oral (f) receiving, overstimulation, handjob, unprotected p in v- not in reality please), reader described as strong and powerful, smart and beautiful, Force-communication and more of my general interpretation of how the Force feels/works
Masterlist for S1 and S2
Word Count: 12.8K
Rating: 18+
Author's note: Once again, a massive thank you to @burningfieldof-clover for helping me when I got stuck and who I am very grateful to have as a friend! Dropping this before S3 graces our screens and I hope you all enjoy!
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Chibbier
Echo waited in the forest clearing as the Marauder touched down. “I got your message. It sounded urgent, is everything alright?” Echo asked as soon as the door to the Marauder opened revealing his two brothers.
“Everything is fine, Echo.” Hunter said.
“More than fine.” Wrecker emphasised.
“But we agreed we weren’t to meet until (Y/N) was back with us so unless you’ve found her…” He trailed off as he saw the smile tugging at Wrecker’s mouth and Hunter in particular seemed more at ease than he’d been in the recent months. “Wait a second, you mean-”
“Hey stranger.” You said with a grin as you came into view and stood between Hunter and Wrecker. You laughed as Echo’s expression changed from stunned to happy then to relief in quick succession. You jogged down the steps and embraced him tightly. “Long time no see.”
“I’ll say.” Echo replied with a smile as he mirrored your actions. “You had me worried.”
“Worried?” You queried. It sounded like he had a specific worry in mind rather than the general worries that had plagued the rest of you for months.
“Last news of you I’d heard had me getting ready to tell the boys to launch a rescue mission.” Echo said as he parted from you. “But lucky for us, they found you before I needed to share that.”
If you weren’t so happy to see him, you could’ve punched him. You weren’t far away enough from the other two and you knew Echo’s words wouldn’t go unheard, especially by the clone with enhanced senses. You hadn’t gotten around to sharing that part of your time alone and you weren’t sure that you wanted to either.
Hunter hadn’t forgotten that there was something about your past that you weren’t telling him. He’d noticed small shifts and changes in your behaviour since you’d been back. It was things like you made sure to keep your top layer on at all times and if you had to take it off, you would always go to the refresher regardless of it you were alone or not which was something you never used to do. You hadn’t communicated with either him or Wrecker in the silent way you were able to do where they’d hear your voice in their head which was something you did regularly in the past. You were also more emotionally and physically distant, the latter happening at night in particular and ordinarily it wouldn’t bother him, but he knew the cause was rooted in something you’d gone through. But every time he tried to broach the issue, you refused to talk about whatever it was that was causing it, and it pained him that he could do nothing but watch the negative impact it continued to have on you.
“What’s going on with, Omega? Any new leads?” You asked Echo instead, ignoring Hunter’s hand that now rested on your upper arm.
“(Y/N)-”
“Not now, Hunter. Please.”
Hunter released a quiet and resigned sigh. He wanted to help you if he could, but he also knew he had to wait until you were ready. It was just getting harder to do that.
Echo glanced between the two of you. “I said something I shouldn’t have, didn’t I?”
You shook your head. “Don’t worry about it. Just fill us in.”
Echo’s eyes darted to Hunter who only nodded. He took a breath and waited for Wrecker to join the three of you. “Nothing new. Imperial security on Hemlock is tight and any breakthrough just results in more cryptic information.”
“Yeah, we’ve had much of the same.” You agreed irritably.
Echo nodded before he faced Hunter. “I know we said that we’d come together once we had (Y/N) back with us, but I think it’s better if I stay doing what I’m doing. Rex and I are going to meet and try to pool together what we’ve gathered. We can tell you what we find and send you to follow up on other sources since we can’t cover everything ourselves and you can also keep searching on your own.”
Before Hunter could form a reply, the sound of branches snapping grabbed his attention.
The blaster bolt that immediately followed the noise, skimmed the armour on your upper arm.
You all reacted quickly and took cover behind the trees.
The onslaught of fire was being directed towards you and would only occasionally be aimed to your fellow clones as a way to keep them from advancing towards the source. Evidently you were the main target here.
“Hunter!” You shouted over the sound of blaster fire. When he pressed his back against the tree trunk and his helmet looked over to you, you called on the Force and dragged the assailant out from their spot, and a well-aimed shot from Hunter saw to it that the blaster was rendered useless. You kept that link with your ally to Force-push them into another tree, and they crumbled to the floor.
All of you lowered your blaster for the moment. You needed to find out why they were here, killing them immediately wouldn’t get you very far.
You stepped out from behind your tree and observed the bounty hunter carefully. Throughout the firefight, you’d felt yourself being pulled towards them, but you couldn’t work out why and that urge hadn’t gone away.
Stiff and unsteady movements had you readying your blaster again but as the hunter got to their feet and caught your eye, you understood why that feeling was there.
Your heart stopped and you stayed rooted to the spot as you saw the blade ignite from the hilt they were holding. The ground around them illuminated in a pale blue haze and you understood what was calling you to the hunter now. Your feet suddenly began moving of their own accord.
The other three all shared a collective bewildered look at what was unfolding in front of them.
Hunter collected his shock quickly and raised his hand to order the others to halt their fire as you fully stepped out to into the clearing.
The bounty hunter charged for you, but the attack posed little threat to you. Whoever this was had no idea how to use an elegant weapon like this and their grip was heavy and clumsy. It wouldn’t take much for you to disarm them.
You ducked under their reckless and uncoordinated swing, grabbed their wrist, and bent it back until the weapon fell from their grasp. You landed a hard kick to their chest, and they stumbled back. The hood fell loose- now exposing a feminine face- but she wasn’t a bounty hunter you recognised. You didn’t have much time to dwell on that since she grabbed a small knife from her boot and jabbed it towards your stomach. You parried away her strikes before you grew tired of dragging this altercation out. Landing a strong punch to her jaw, you used her dazed disposition to Force-pull her face down to the forest floor and waved the others forward.
Hunter and Wrecker pressed their knees into her back and brought her arms around to firmly hold them behind her.
You paid little attention to what they were doing. You hesitantly walked over to the weapon left discarded on the ground.
“Who hired you?” Hunter demanded as he held her down.
“Fuck off.” She snarled as she fought against their grip, but they were too strong, and she was in a much weaker position than she’d been in ten minutes ago.
Echo merely bent down to reach into her jacket pocket and pulled out the tracking fob and bounty puck. Your holographic image confirming what they’d all suspected.
Upon seeing that, Hunter found himself pushing his knee deeper into her spine, paying little attention to her groans of protest.
“Where did you get this?” You questioned softly, more to yourself than anything. You kept your back turned to her as you knelt down and studied the familiar design on the hilt. You couldn’t pick it up, not yet. You knew what you would feel if you did, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.
“What?” The bounty hunter snapped as she went for another attempt to wriggle free, but the two clones kept her tight to the forest floor.
You stiffened your posture as you turned on your heels and strode over to her. You lowered your mask, found your voice, and crouched down to her eye level. “Where did you get the lightsaber?” You pointed back to where the weapon still lay abandoned.
“I’m not telling you a thing, Jedi brat.” She spat.
At her words, Hunter twisted her arm harder, ignoring her pained cry.
You signalled to Hunter to ease up and you stood tall once more and indicated to them both to get her on her feet.
Once they did so, you pressed your blaster against her stomach and brought your lips close to her ear- your voice a quiet but lethal whisper. “You know who I am and what I’ve done to people to get what I want. Do you want to be next?” At her harsh gulp, you kept pushing. “I can’t imagine what that’ll do for your reputation in your community... then again, maybe I can… shall we find out?” You knew you’d done enough as you sensed her flicker of fear. You took a step back and looked at her with a firm glare.
“It was the client I did the job for.” She muttered begrudgingly. She wasn’t about to be maimed or die for a job that wasn’t paying all that much in the first place. She’d worked too hard to be seen as a contender, she couldn’t lose that now.
“And who was that?” Hunter asked again, his voice steely.
“Some shop owner.” She replied irritably.
“A name.” You insisted.
“I can’t remember.”
You puffed out an exasperated sigh and took a half step forward.
“Kedrin! His name was Kedrin!” She revealed fretfully.
You saw the shared look between Hunter and Wrecker. “That name mean something to you?”
Wrecker nodded. “He was the one that told us to go to Christophsis to find you.”
The name meant nothing to you upon initially hearing it but evidently you were involved somehow. You ran the information over in your head. Shop owner… Kedrin… Christophsis… it was starting to make sense in your head and that would mean… Your breath caught in your throat as it hit you. You hadn’t even known his name and you’d taken his only family away from him.
“Why set the bounty on her?” Echo asked coolly, keeping his blaster focused on her.
“Not really supposed to ask.” She grunted. “He just mentioned a dead brother.” She saw the flash of something in your eyes… it looked like regret. “Oh… you killed him.”
You glared at her. You hadn’t had time to fill Echo in yet and this was not how you wanted to go about it.
Echo’s eyes darted from her to you. “What is she talking about?”
“Echo…” You started but a cruel laugh from the bounty hunter interrupted you.
“Oh, she’s achieved quite the reputation. Can’t go far in the Outer Rim without coming across someone who had dealings with her.”
Echo angled his head to face you, but you wouldn’t meet his gaze. As hard as you were trying to hide it, you looked… ashamed?
“Back off.” Wrecker growled at the hunter as he saw your mask of composure slip for a moment.
“What’s the matter, Jedi? Suddenly the killing and torture got too much for you? If they were all as weak as you, no wonder they’re all gone.” She taunted mercilessly.
“Shut up.” Hunter snarled as he saw the way your fists clenched as you worked on keeping your distress at bay.
But you knew it was a pointless venture. Despite her current predicament, that bounty hunter arrogance was in full flow now that she’d discovered your weakness, and she wasn’t about to stop. Her stare was filled with malice, but you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of turning away. Your shoulders heaved as you worked on keeping your breathing even and controlled.  
The bounty hunter addressed the clones now. "I didn’t get much guidance from my client aside from ‘kill her’ so ever since I picked up that bounty, I've been trying to think of the most chaotic way to take her out. She's obviously felt enough emotional turmoil that an easy death would be a mercy. Jedi don't deserve the luxury. I like to play with my food before I kill it."
“And how’s that worked out for you?” You retorted though your conviction was weak as her words found their mark and her sneer told you she was completely unbothered about her current situation now. Your only plan involved letting her overconfidence be her own undoing.
“Nice try.” She mocked. “For a moment I believed your threats but now that I’m really looking at you, I know you don’t have it in you to kill me anymore. You’ve gone soft and you’re pathetic I can see it in your eyes- you’re haunted by what you’ve done, Jedi.”
Your jaw clenched and you could feel those emotions you’d worked so hard to control start to rise to the surface.
“I’m getting outta here and I fully intend to finish what the Empire started-”
Hunter’s fatal shot to her chest silenced her and she flopped to the ground.
“Looks like you have something you need to deal with first.” Echo advised Hunter as he destroyed the puck and tracking fob for good measure before he holstered his blaster. He faced you. “I still don’t know what happened whilst you were on your own, but your past is your own, I won’t hold anything against you, we’re still okay.” He reassured you.
You barely managed a nod of acknowledgement as her words were still replaying in your mind, but you wouldn’t let it show. Instead, you took out your vibroblade and cut a section of her clothing. You stayed silent as you took the piece of fabric and wrapped the lightsaber in it. You knew it was a lame gesture- especially since you immediately felt that rush of connection as you lifted it- but it provided you with a false sense of security that you would rather have because the second you made unrestrained contact with it, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist or turn your back on it again. You held the hilt tightly before you waved farewell to Echo and made for the ship.
Hunter nodded absentmindedly at Echo’s words whilst his gaze was fixed on you. He knew seeing that lightsaber might bring back some memories, but the intensity of your reaction told him there was more to it than simply remembering that period of your life. He pulled himself out of his thoughts and reached his hand out to Echo. “Be safe, Echo. We’ll be in touch once we’ve dealt with this.”
“You too.” Echo replied, meeting Hunter’s hand in a firm handshake before they parted, and he watched Hunter head back to the Marauder.
“See you later, Echo.” Wrecker said warmly as he lightly slapped his brother’s shoulder before he followed Hunter to the ship.
--
“What’s so special about this lightsaber?” Wrecker asked as the ship entered hyperspace.
Hunter leaned against the entrance to the cockpit, arms crossed as he studied you. Your eyes hadn’t left the weapon sitting in your lap.
“It’s mine.” You said quietly.
Hunter immediately straightened up. “It’s yours?” He repeated.
“Yup.” You cleared your throat and brought your eyes up to face the two clones. “I figured it would’ve been destroyed in Order 66. Guess not.” You said with a resigned sigh.
“Woah! Talk about lucky!” Wrecker said excitedly but you didn’t seem to match his enthusiasm. “This is good news, isn’t it?” He asked, tilting his head at you.
“I don’t know what kind of news it is, Wrecker.” You said honestly.
“What’s your hold up?” Hunter asked curiously.
“Yeah, it’s a pretty handy weapon to have and if it belongs to you, isn’t it better that it’s back with you?” Wrecker followed up.
“It’s difficult to explain.” You deflected.
“Try us.” Hunter encouraged gently.
You shot him a look, hoping he would drop it but the look in his eyes told you that he was not for dissuading. You released a short breath. “It would be like taking back a section of my life I was ready to leave behind. That I had left behind… for years.”
“And you don’t know if you’re ready to reconnect with that part of you yet?” Hunter guessed.
You shrugged in complacent agreement. “Making the choice to leave the Jedi Order was already difficult and leaving my lightsaber…. well, that was hard enough the first time and now that I have it back… I don’t know.” You ran a hand over your face. “It’s just complicated.” You got to your feet and carefully put the lightsaber on a shelf in the cockpit.
Wrecker slapped his hands against his thighs. “Well, I always think things look less complicated after a good sleep, what do ya say? We all could use some rest before we sort out this Kedrin guy.”
Sleep didn’t provide you with much respite these days, but you hummed out a quiet laugh and shared a brief smile with Hunter. “Sounds like a good idea, Wrecker.”
--
Hunter jolted awake, panic setting in as he reached for you only to find that you weren’t there, and he had a horrible feeling that he hadn’t woken up yet. But no, he could hear Wrecker’s faint snores, so he had to be awake, and he knew he was back with you, it wasn’t a trick. There would be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t lying next to him right now.
He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. You were here, you’d been here for a while now. He’d found you; you were okay. It wasn’t like before. You were probably just in the cockpit. Yes, that’s where you had to be.
When he felt himself calm down, he got to his feet and noiselessly made his way there but paused in the entryway as he saw you reading one of Tech’s old datapads, top layer still on, feet tucked up beneath you as you sat in the pilot’s seat. He thought he’d gathered them all. “Where’d you find that?” He rasped; his voice still thick with sleep.
You jumped in your chair as you heard him. You had been utterly absorbed in what you were reading, you hadn’t sensed him approach. You looked up to see Hunter standing in the doorway to the cockpit. “Tucked behind the medkit. I forgot how much Tech truly recorded.” You said in fond remembrance although there was an overall sense of sorrow in your voice. You flashed him the title of the current report you were reading. “Remember that mission on Ryloth?”
“You and Wrecker got separated from the rest of us and decided to blow up the target from the inside and escape through the garbage chute if I remember correctly?”
“Right.” You said with a soft chuckle.
“Pretty sure that was the mission that made you a fully-fledged member of our squad, Wrecker couldn’t stop raving about you after that. I was almost jealous.” Hunter managed to joke.
You gave him a small grin at that before you turned off the datapad and properly took him in. “Guess you couldn’t sleep either?” You asked in a hushed voice as Hunter stepped further into the cockpit.
Hunter merely shook his head and sat across from you.
“Nightmares?” You figured as you delicately put the datapad back and sat in your seat once more.
“I prefer calling them recaps.” Hunter muttered dully as he sat across from you.
You reached for his knee and squeezed it comfortingly. “Do you want to talk more about them?”
Hunter shook his head. “You know and lived it all too and being here with you helps anyway. What about you?”
“Just a lot weighing on my mind.” You said airily as you brought your hand back to your lap.
Hunter made a small noise of quiet understanding. He hadn’t been expecting much more by way of a response from you.
“I don’t know how he does it.” You whispered in sad envy as you jutted your chin over to where Wrecker was sleeping soundly.
Hunter followed your gaze and sighed. “It’s the only way he can switch off. Especially in the early months, he struggled with remembering everything.”
“Yeah, any form of healing from all this won’t be easy.” You said with a heavy breath.
“Wrecker might be able to sleep better than we can, but he keeps a blaster by him and has his hand on it at all times. I don’t think he ever wants to be caught off guard again.” Hunter replied solemnly. “Moving on won’t ever be simple.”
You dipped your head in agreement and leaned back in your chair.
The minutes ticked by and the two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while before Hunter cleared his throat. “I’m going to be selfish for a moment, okay?”
You tilted your head at him and adjusted your posture to give him your full attention. “Okay…”
Hunter took another breath, his throat bobbing before he spoke, “You can’t leave me to wake up alone like that.”
It hit you immediately. Fuck, you’d been an idiot, of course you couldn’t do that. If he’d done that to you, you would lose your shit. How could you have been so stupid? “Hunter-”
“I had one night too many of waking up to a cold and empty space and worrying about where you were and what was happening to you. I can’t go through it again, I won’t. Not anymore.”
You’d been so wrapped up in your own head, you hadn’t even considered what that would do to him, but you should’ve known better, especially because your reaction would be exactly like his. You quietly stood up and closed the short gap between you to straddle his lap.
He accommodated you in an instant and his eyes fluttered shut as you gently stroked your fingers through his hair.
“I’m sorry.” You soothed as you placed delicate kisses to his face whilst you moved your hands to rub up and down his chest, his sleep clothes warm and soft beneath your palms.
Hunter caught your wrists and tenderly caressed the scars left there as a result of what you’d endured in Cid’s parlour. “I barely lived through it once and I won’t do it ever again. I don’t care what time it is, if you’re up and struggling with something you wake me up with you. I’d rather that than wake up without you and have that pain and panic set it again. Promise me… please.” He begged, brushing some strands of hair back behind your ear as his eyes looked deep into yours.
You nuzzled into his neck and placed a gentle kiss on his pulse point. “I promise.” Your lips traced his jaw. “And you promise too.”
“I promise.” Hunter agreed and he tucked his fingers under your chin and brought your lips to his.
You had wanted to keep it short and sweet, but you soon found yourself physically incapable. One gentle nip from him on your bottom lip and you were done for. The kiss soon turned hungry and desperate. The two of you were consumed by a passion you’d had no outlet for yet, and you were getting completely lost in the moment. Your hands threaded themselves in his hair and you pressed yourself against him as he deepened the kiss and squeezed your hips to get you to subtly grind against him which were instructions you were only too happy to follow.
It was all over though when you felt his hands start to reach the bottom of your shirt and brush against your bare skin. Instinctively, you flinched away, and you crashed back to reality. You knew what marks you were concealing, and what he would feel if he lifted your shirt, and it wasn’t something he should have to see. “I- I can’t.” You panted against his lips. Your body yearned for him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go any further, not yet. Everything was still too fresh, and you couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted to.
Even though his body burned for you, he’d never push you into this, but he wanted to share the burden of whatever it was that was tormenting you. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened to you?” Hunter murmured breathlessly as he glanced up at you.
You swallowed thickly. “I want to but-” You released a low, shaky breath. “It’s- it’s hard to talk about.”
Hunter stroked your cheek. “Well, when you’re ready, I’ll be right there.”
You pressed your lips into his palm.
“Come on, let’s try to get some rest. We’ll arrive at Nelvaan in a few hours.” He kissed your forehead before you got to your feet and the two of you made your way back to your bunk.
--
“Y- you’re supposed- supposed to be dead!” Kedrin exclaimed fearfully as he cowered behind the main counter upon seeing you standing in the doorway of his shop, the two clones on either side of your shoulders.
“You should’ve sprung for a better bounty hunter then.” You countered as you walked towards the store owner. “I have some questions for you.”
“No, I’m not dealing with any of you ever again!” Kedrin reached underneath the counter and pulled out a blaster and pointed it at you.
You stopped your advance and raised your hands in surrender. “Kedrin, I just need to talk to you.”
“Fuck you! You don’t get to use my name and talk to me like what you did to me was nothing!”
You internally cringed at the memory of what you’d put him through.
“Did you even know he was my brother?!” He shouted in anger. “Did you even care, you heartless bitch?!”
Hunter tensed beside you.
You lightly grazed his hand with your own to tell him it was fine but at the same time shame coiled in your gut. You lowered your mask and kept your voice low and composed. “Kedrin-”
“Stop using my fucking name, you never bothered with it before!” He then turned his rage to the clone that stood closest to you. “And you! I still have the scar from you!” He yelled at the clone on your right, the blaster in his hand still quivering as he aimed it between the three of you.
Hunter stood unwavering beside you and said nothing.
You saw how unsteady his grip on his blaster was. “You’re not a killer, Kedrin. It’s why you sent the bounty hunter after me in the first place.” You said as an attempt to talk him down but the Force around him was in complete chaos, the only emotion that had any kind of control was his anger and that was dangerous. You knew the kind of pain and wrath the loss of a loved one could unleash, and it was why you’d never wanted to put anyone through it in the first place but now you were seeing the impact of your mistake firsthand.
“You killed my brother you fucking bitch!”
You sensed him getting ready to pull the trigger. “Kedrin-” You ducked as the blaster bolt came straight for your head. You channelled the Force and took the blaster from his hand whilst Hunter and Wrecker used that distraction to advance and subdue him. They shoved his head and torso down to press against the countertop.
“Do you want one to match?” Hunter threatened as he reached for his vibroblade and held the sharp point just above Kedrin’s unmarked hand as he and Wrecker held him down.
“Hunter, it’s okay.” You said, pulling him back from that line the two of you had agreed to keep each other from as you saw the way his grip strengthened and the wince of pain Kedrin couldn’t conceal.
Kedrin kept looking for a way out of their hold but was proving futile. “She murdered my brother.” He whimpered as he continued some half-hearted attempts to free himself.
“You’re right. I did.” You approached him and crouched to meet his eyeline. “And it was a mistake that I’m plagued by to this day. All I can do is say that I’m sorry. I know you’d love nothing more than to kill me too, it would probably feel great but please, please Kedrin, don’t do this. It won’t end well for you.” You begged. When his resistance finally ceased, you turned your attention to Hunter.
“Give us a minute.” You said to Hunter, resting a hand on the top of his shoulder.
“But-” Hunter got ready to argue.
“Hunter.” You interrupted firmly and fixed him with a stern stare.
Recognising that tone and look in your eyes, Hunter released a disgruntled but compliant sigh and nodded to Wrecker to let him go. He holstered his blaster and sheathed his vibroblade before leading the way out.
As you heard the door shut, you stepped back from the counter to give Kedrin some space. “You have no reason to trust me, but I promise that I’m not going to hurt you, that’s not why I’m here.”
“You’re- you’re not here to kill me for the bounty hunter?” Kedrin asked warily.  
You shook your head. “There was a time where that’s what precisely I would do and I wouldn’t even hesitate, but you’re not the person I’m supposed to be hurting and neither was your brother. I know nothing I say will bring you comfort but I am not here to kill you. I only want to talk.” You said sincerely as you put your weapons to the ground and faced him calmly.
Kedrin massaged his right shoulder- which had been on the receiving end of a particularly harsh grip from the clone you referred to as ‘Hunter’- and narrowed his eyes at you. “What is it exactly that you want to talk about?”
“This.” You placed the lightsaber on the counter and unwrapped it. “Where’d you get it?”
Kedrin wasn’t buying that that was all you wanted to know about, you had to be here for revenge. “How do I know you won’t do some magic thing like you did last time?”
You released an irritated sigh. “Because if I was going to do that, I would’ve done it already. I won’t lie, I can’t leave here with you still intent on sending hunters after me or I will have to do some things neither of us will enjoy, particularly you. I will always regret taking yours away from you, it was never part of my plan to leave someone alone, but my family is still counting on me, and I can’t have anything messing that up. Please, leave us alone and I’ll never bother you again after this.”
Kedrin angled his head and regarded you inquisitively. His body was still filled with fear of being alone with you, but it was like there was a different person standing before him- you seemed genuinely upset and sorry; and that in of itself would be punishment enough- better you feel the guilt of what you’d done than have an easy out. “You’re the most terrifying person I’ve ever met but for some reason, I believe what you’re saying. No more bounty hunters.”
You felt into the Force around him but there was no dishonesty or deceit. “The lightsaber?” You redirected his attention to the weapon on the counter.
Kedrin shrugged. “What about it?”
“Where did you get it?” You repeated impatiently.
Kedrin flinched at your tone and- not wanting to risk upsetting you any further- started wiping down some glass cases to channel his nervous energy and spoke quickly. “I’ve had it for a while, couldn’t tell you who gave it to me. Just that they were employed to be a part of the clean-up after your lot betrayed the Chancellor and found it and wanted a souvenir of the experience.”
You coughed and bit back the flurry of insults and threats that nearly escaped your mouth.
Kedrin, now so focused on his task that he was oblivious to your discomfort, carried on in a restless ramble, “Guess they ran into tough times during the transition period and wanted rid of it for some quick cash. No one really wanted to buy it though, it just sat there which was why I gave it to that bounty hunter.”
You felt your heartbeat thundering in your ears as you realised what this could mean for you. Leaving it behind had been an active choice to cut part of yourself off from the Force and now you had a chance to feel the Force flow through you as a single entity, no more jagged or disjointed connections… but you didn’t know if you were ready for that yet, it was too much to even comprehend. If it had survived everything and found its way back to you… did that mean that you could too?
“So, um are you going to pay for it?” He dared to ask but your sharp and cold glower had him gulping nervously and wringing his hands. “Uh, never mind, you can take it.” He said hastily. “Just let us be done with each other.”
You said nothing to him, you only covered it once more, picked up your other weapons and exited the shop.
--
“Everything okay?” Hunter asked as you emerged from the store.
“We were going to go get some supplies if you want to join?” Wrecker added.
“I need a moment. You guys go.” You said, giving Wrecker your concealed lightsaber and avoiding eye contact with them both as you hurried back to the Marauder.
--
Having found a moment of relief under the warm water, you got out of the shower and started to towel off and redress but as you pulled your tank top over you, you realised you’d left your long sleeve out by your bunk. You swore under your breath and only hoped the other two would take a bit longer on the supply run. You dashed out the door of the refresher and started to rummage through the bunk for it.
“Who did that to you?”
You whipped around to see Hunter stood frozen in the entryway to the Marauder. “Dammit Hunter-”
“Who did that to you?” He repeated heatedly, his concern and rage rising each second. The sight of the deep and cruel scars that disappeared from your upper back beneath your shirt to the rest of your back was engrained in his mind and any plans of waiting for you to come to him evaporated as his anger and protectiveness overcame him.
Wrecker stepped up beside his brother, put the supplies down and your weapon on a shelf. He nervously glanced between the two of you and it didn’t take an enhanced skill for him to pick up on the way Hunter was trembling with fury. “Eh, what’d I miss?”
Hunter ignored him and kept his eyes on you. “Who was it?”
You turned back around to grab your shirt and it was then that you heard Wrecker’s sharp inhale as he too now saw what it was Hunter had seen. You fiddled with the fabric, twisting it tightly in your hands. “It wasn’t like it was solely one person. Just forget about it.” You muttered aloofly.
“No, I can’t just forget about it. Who. Hurt. You?” 
You sighed heavily and half-turned to face the two clones. “It was a two for one special.”
“Don’t.” Hunter chided sternly. He couldn’t have you make light of this, not when he’d seen what you’d gone through now. He couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer anymore and, as awful as a part of him found it, he had to push you now.
There was no leeway in his voice, you weren’t going to be able to dodge and weave your way out of this conversation now. “Basically, it was both Imperial Stormtroopers and their higher command officers.” You swallowed harshly. “They- they worked together on this one.”
Hunter simply stormed away from you to the ship’s controls. “Wrecker, let’s get the ship in the air.”
“You’re going to go after every Imperial officer and stormtrooper in the galaxy?” You scrappily tugged your top layer over you and hustled after the two of them as they strode into the cockpit.
“If I have to!” Hunter growled.
“I’m with the Sarge on this one.” Wrecker agreed severely as he started to power up the ship.
“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the thought but that’s not logical nor practical!” You argued.
“Don’t talk to me about practicality when they did that to you!” Hunter shouted angrily.
“It was my fault, Hunter!” You yelled back.
That caused both of them to pause and Wrecker turned off the engine.
“I did it to myself.” You said, your voice scarcely above a whisper as you braced yourself for the time you were about to relive.
“What are you talking about?” Hunter asked, his voice as quiet as yours now as he studied your face carefully.
“Before I tell you, I need you both to stay calm. Especially you.” You said to Hunter. You knew he wasn’t mad at you; his reaction had been exactly as you’d expected. His fierce protectiveness was a quality you loved about him, but it could be his undoing if he wasn’t careful. “And you need to know and accept that nothing would’ve changed it, it wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I acted in poor and emotional judgement and there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent it. Please, trust me on this.” You insisted with a pleading stare at him before you looked to Wrecker who- albeit hesitantly- nodded. You glanced to Hunter again who was still looking like he could take on the Empire singlehandedly. “Hunter?”
Hunter felt a keen sense of dread at your words, and it was highly likely he wouldn’t be able to view it quite as simply as that, but he allowed himself a deep and calming breath. He’d do this for you. “Tell me.”
You exhaled nervously and fidgeted with your hands. Realistically, you’d known you wouldn’t be able to go through the rest of your life without being found out or talking about it but that didn’t make doing this any easier. “I’m sure I don’t really have to go into how hard it was to find each other, right? I’m sure you guys had your fair share of failed leads and things were pretty hopeless for a while, yes?”
Hunter and Wrecker both nodded.
You took another breath. “Right, well, it was the same for me. During our time apart, nothing I did was getting me any closer to you and I could feel it draining me every day. Lyra and I arrived on Christophsis and decided to settle there but it didn’t help. No matter how hard I searched, no matter how much of myself I gave up when it came to getting what I wanted, nothing was bringing results, and I was angry. I was angry, frustrated and just miserable. And it was in that poor state of mind that I made a choice that I shouldn’t have.”
Hunter knew those emotions all too well and he’d get incredibly impatient and unfocused when they got overwhelming, but he’d been fortunate to have Wrecker around to pick up the load when it got too much. Yes, you may have had Lyra, but he knew you and how you operated, and you would’ve put it all on you, regardless of how exhausting it would’ve been and that’s what made him nervous as he awaited further explanation.
You shuffled your feet. “I was being a bit of a nuisance to the Empire wherever I went, Christophsis was no exception, but I was getting nowhere on the information front so, in my slightly unstable state, I figured the best way to find out about you or even Hemlock was to um well, find it straight from the source.”
Hunter’s heart skipped a beat. “No, no you didn’t.”
Wrecker looked between the two of you in confusion but then it clicked with him too and he stared at you, horrified. “Why would you do that?”
You swallowed thickly. “I thought that by handing myself in, I would be able to get the information I was needing. I figured they would have some form of intel on you I could use.” You huffed irritably as you remembered how foolish you’d been. “Turns out they were a lot smarter than I gave them credit for and they sussed out my plan pretty quickly.”
You winced as Hunter threw his helmet and it crashed against the wall. You expected no less but you needed to reign him back in if you had any chance of recounting the whole story. “That’s not staying calm.”
Hunter got to his feet and paced; his distress evident. “We were on your trail! If I’d been faster and picked our sources more carefully, you wouldn’t have had to-” Hunter seethed. How could he have failed you so badly? You’d put yourself through hell for their sake and if he had gotten to you sooner, you wouldn’t have had to have gone through this.
“Hunter, no.” You shook your head to stop him from putting the blame on himself. “The whole reason I did it was because the trail was running cold, and I was desperate. It was all on me. and I’m not done explaining this yet and it doesn’t get better, but you can’t do this. I understand and appreciate where it comes from, but it won’t help now, okay? Just let me finish it.”
Hunter clenched his jaw but did as you asked. He sat back down and nodded at you to continue but he was helpless to stop the anxious shaking of his leg.
You gritted your teeth as you prepared yourself for what you had to do next and any levity that you’d previously been forcing into your voice vanished. “Since they knew what I was and some of the general history between all of us, it’s like I said, they were aware of what I wanted, and they definitely weren’t up for giving it to me. They finally had me under their control, and they were very good at making sure I wasn’t getting away any time soon. Honestly, they were pretty creative with their methods and I’m sure some of them found doing what they did to me quite therapeutic.” That dismissive attitude slipped back in at the end without you meaning to. Frankly, you probably wouldn’t have noticed it if it weren’t for the sharp and worried looks from Wrecker and Hunter. You mentally checked yourself before you proceeded.
“Where they showed their inexperience however was when they got frustrated at how little I gave them. I don’t think they realised how hard it would be to crack someone like me. Their fists, their whips, their electrostaffs… it all hurt but it wouldn’t get me to talk. So, they went for something different, and that was what got them quite close.” You stopped again and found yourself touching the small pinprick scar as you remembered the sharp sting and then the complete haziness that would follow that would render your completely susceptible to anything they would do and say. “Whatever concoction they’d inject into my neck when they got bored or too tired from physically hurting me was nearly impossible for me to resist and that was a terrifying experience... I was having to fight my own mind while they happily watched on. That interrogator droid would enter, and- and my body would go cold with fear every time.” You paused for a chance to gather yourself and squeezed your eyes tight to rid yourself of the memories of that dark, cramped room they would take you where you were helpless to their cruelty and the last thing you would clearly recall would be the whirring of that droid approaching you.
You took another breath before you continued to speak. “That was what came close to breaking me and they worked that out. Every day they would inject me with that serum to make me submit to their words and they would tell me you were right outside. They- they would tell me that I would see- see you all again if I only told them how much I knew about Omega and where I was hiding…. And every day I would have to remind myself that it was all a lie… that you weren’t there, and I couldn’t reveal anything since that would put Lyra in danger too.” You released a shaky breath. “Or they’d try to convince me that you were going through the same thing I was and- and it was my fault and to get- to get it to stop I would have to tell them everything.” You felt a lump form in the back of your throat, but you forced yourself to talk through it. “They could beat me all they wanted but that was the thing that actually left a mark… these scars merely came with the territory.”
A troubled silence fell upon the walls of the Marauder as you finished. You picked at some imaginary lint on your leggings as a way to bring your emotions under control.
Hunter felt sick to his stomach. He could’ve saved you or made it so putting yourself in that position would never have needed to seem like a viable option. You’d needed him and he hadn’t been there. He’d let you down.
You caught a glimpse of his expression changing from anger to defeated sadness and he didn’t need to vocalise those thoughts; you were perfectly aware of what would be going through his head. “It’s okay.” You mouthed silently to him.
You shouldn’t be the one comforting him. A broken and anguished sigh left his throat. Okay? How was any of this okay? You’d subjected yourself to torture for them and had carried the burden of it by yourself for so long.
“How’d you get away?” Wrecker asked in quiet upset as he imagined you experiencing that.
You coughed and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. “Truth be told, it gets a bit blurry near the end. I…” You trailed off and frowned as you worked on accurately recalling what had gone down the day you got out. You hesitantly started your explanation again. “I remember overhearing that they were going to send me off world to a high security prison and I couldn’t have that. The trooper who put the cuffs on me to take me back to my cell was a rookie, I think he figured I was unconscious, so he used the regular ones that didn’t restrict my Force-wielding abilities. Then the dizziness and blackouts set in, I remember finding the strength to take him out, but I don’t exactly know how I proceeded from there. The next thing I do remember was collapsing outside the door to where we were living and Lyra dragging me inside.”
“Hunter?” You looked to him since he hadn’t said anything yet.
Hunter’s throat had gone so dry, he couldn’t summon words immediately. All that was racking through his head was how he could’ve prevented this and how he should’ve been there to save you. You never should’ve been the one to drag yourself out of that hellhole. The protective part of him wanted to find a way for you to come up with any identifying features that could assist in hunting down those who’d inflicted that pain on you but despite all you’d relayed to them, he was calmer now and he knew that wasn’t what you wanted. He may have failed you then, but he wouldn’t now. His focus now lay in what he could do for you now but there was an element to the explanation he was missing and once he had that, everything else could fall into place. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He murmured instead.
There was no accusation in his eyes, no pointedness or blame in his tone. You knew he just wanted to understand, and it was a fair question. “I was working on compartmentalising it; it was just going badly. And-” You stopped yourself from continuing and instead just started to back away. “Nothing.”
“And what?” Hunter pressed as he got to his feet and caught your hand before you could step away any further.
You shook your head. “It’s a stupid reason, I shouldn’t care about it.”
“Nothing you’re feeling about this is stupid. I might be able to help, you only need to tell me.” Hunter prompted tenderly as he stroked the back of your hand with his thumb.
You regarded him carefully, attempting to find some deception or falseness in his tone so you didn’t have to say it but, unsurprisingly, you didn’t find any. You bit your lip before speaking, “I didn’t want you to have to see them. They’re- they’re not exactly nice to look at.” You muttered as you dipped your head to stare at the floor.
The fact that that was even cause for concern felt like a punch to the gut but at least there was something he could do about it. He may not be able to go after the Imperials like he wanted but he could help you realise that was a non-issue for him and one that hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Wrecker, take a walk. I’ll be in touch when you can come back.” Hunter ordered his brother.
Wrecker wasn’t about to question him, so he did as he said. He rested a gentle hand on your shoulder in comfort. “Thank you for telling us.” He said before he left the ship.
You went to address Hunter, but he spoke first.
“Turn around.”
Your brow furrowed but you couldn’t deny the warmth that bloomed in your stomach at his words. “What?”
“Turn around.” Hunter repeated, his tone quiet but filled with dominance.
Despite your lingering questions as to what exactly it was that he wanted, you found yourself doing as he instructed. You could feel the heat in your stomach start to radiate throughout the rest of his body. Each steady thump of armour hitting the ground had goosebumps rising on your skin in anticipation and you felt him crowd your back and rest his chin in the space between your neck and shoulder.
Hunter kissed the sensitive spot behind your ear and as he felt you relax into him; he slowly grabbed the hem of your long-sleeved layer and lifted it over your head and dropped it to the floor of the ship. He didn’t let his eyes fall to the scars yet. Instead, he caressed the trail of goosebumps on your arms and continued to pay close attention to your neck, softy nibbling the areas that he knew would make you weak at the knees.
He could play your body so well; it was like the two of you hadn’t been parted for as long as you had been. You could feel yourself growing more and more compliant to his touch and desire coursed through your body. You only snapped out of it when you felt his touch go lower and he tugged the bottom of your vest top. You went stiff and immediately grabbed his hands in a panic. “Hunter, no. You-”
“Easy.” He soothed as he pressed delicate, featherlight kisses to the back and each side of your neck. “Trust me.” He rasped against your skin, but he waited for your signal.
You released a low, unsteady breath. You couldn’t live in this state of fear and shame forever. You trusted him with everything you had and that was why you felt yourself letting go of his wrists. Your breathing grew uneven, and your body trembled as you felt his bare hands graze underneath your vest top before, they held onto the hem of it.
“Relax… it’s okay. You’re okay now. Let me see.” He encouraged gently, only lifting when he saw you nod your permission.  
His gaze finally dipped to your bare back, and he had to fight to keep his breathing calm as he felt his heart shatter once he saw the full extent of what had been done to you. Your back was a map of merciless and vicious scars, and he wanted nothing more to take away the pain they’d caused you and inflict it on his own body. But that was the only effect they had. He was not repulsed, not repelled by the sight of them. They did nothing to ruin his physical perception of you. You were every bit as beautiful to him now as you had been when he first met you on Devaron all that time ago. “You’re exquisite.”
You refused to believe that. These were different to the scars you were both used to that came with the impact of battle and you were under no illusions as to how unsightly they were. You went to turn to face him so he wouldn’t have to keep looking at them and to protest his words, but he sensed that and beat you to it.
“These do not define you. They do not define my view of you. You are strong, you are capable, and you are a force to be reckoned with and that is why I love you.” He started to lightly touch each one. “No amount of scarring is going to change that. You. Are. Beautiful. I will be there to remind you of that whenever you need it.” He pressed his mouth to the space between your shoulder blades.  
Your body trembled under his touch and his sincerity threatened to overwhelm you. “Hunter-” You managed to choke out.
“I would tear the galaxy apart for you, if you wanted me to.” He hummed against your skin as he continued to trail his lips down your back, worshipping every mark that had been left on you so as to leave a new association with them now. “But I know that’s not what you need.”
A quivering breath left your lungs at his words and ministrations, and you knew you felt the same way. But it was because the two of you were aware of that line that your relationship worked so well- you could balance the sentiment with intent. You could feel him starting to make his way back up your back.
“So, what is it that you need?” He hummed into your ear before he placed his hands on your waist and sucked a mark over the tiny scar that rested on your pulse point.
You groaned and braced your hands on the wall that formed the entryway to the cockpit as you felt your knees buckle.
“Tell me, sweetheart. Tell me and it’s yours.” He asked again as his fingers started to dip beneath the waistband of your leggings whilst he pulled your earlobe between his teeth.
You knew exactly what it was, it was all you ever really needed. “You.” You gasped and you swore you felt him smile against your skin.
“You have me… always.”
You couldn’t hold out any longer, you turned around and crushed your lips against his with a groan and pushed him to the wall of the entrance to the cockpit. If he was taken aback by your abruptness, he didn’t show it as he matched your enthusiasm immediately, one hand coming to firmly grip your exposed waist whilst the other tangled itself in your damp hair, a desperate and eager noise leaving him as he got to feel your body press against his.
As you kissed him, your hands fisted his shirt and you pulled insistently but made no moves to actually step away to remove it, you were too addicted to the feeling of having him this way again… yet you needed to feel his skin against yours which is why you were thankful that he had enough willpower to separate himself from you and take it off himself.
The two of you breathed heavily and the air was thick with tension, but you were too focused on looking at what rested just past his collarbone. You hadn’t allowed yourself to check if he had held onto it for fear of what it could mean if it was gone, and your breath hitched. You touched the black leather cord and traced the small Jedi Order symbol on the end. “You- you kept it?”
“Of course, I did.” He softly uttered, if a little out of breath. He cradled your face in his palms. “What do I have to do to make you see what I see in you?”
Any answer died on your lips, and he passionately reconnected his mouth to yours, using your surprised gasp to deepen the kiss before he stepped away from the wall and started to direct you both down the narrow hallway to your bunk, muscle memory mapping the way as neither of you were content to separate to make the walk any easier.
A trail of clothes was left in your wake as you made your way to your bunk.
Hunter gently laid you down, his lips never parting yours before he patted your hip to get you to be on your front.
You still found yourself feeling reluctant. His beautiful brown eyes were laden with lust but there was also a deep and devoted sense of care behind them which was why you complied with his request. You trusted him.
Hunter went back to what he’d done earlier as he left delicate kisses to every scar that donned your back. What you endured was something no one should ever have to but what he could do now was make sure you knew that you didn’t need to hide them for the sake of other people- especially him- any longer. “You never have to worry about these. All that matters to me is that you’re here now, you got away, and you will never end up back there. More scars don’t have the power to change how I feel about you, nothing does. I love you for all that you are.” He planted a kiss to the base of your spine before he got you on your back to face him.
Hunter wiped away the salty tears that had escaped your eyes and nudged the side of your nose with his. “I love you. Always.”
“Always.” You repeated hoarsely as you were overwhelmed by the emotions that came crashing to the surface. You stroked back the smaller bits of hair that frequently slipped past his bandanna. 
Hunter kissed your cheek before leaving a trial of kisses along your jawline whilst his hand slowly made its way down your body to rest between your thighs.
Your legs parted for him on instinct and your hips bucked into his touch and a soft moan left your throat.
His voice took on a low purr as he moved his fingers. “Here’s how this is going to work: I am going to tell you everything that I love about you which you are then going to repeat and… if you don’t…” He stopped and took his hand away as he saw that familiar expression on your face, and he couldn’t help the slight smirk that tugged the edges of his mouth as that expression turned into an affronted pout. “I stop.”
Your eyes widened at the very clear implications of what he had in store for you.
“Or this doesn’t have to go any further and we stop now.” He offered sincerely.
No, you didn’t want that. It had been too long, and you needed him like your lungs needed oxygen. You could do this. You nodded your consent.
Hunter angled his head to press his lips against yours before he started to move his fingers again, hungrily swallowing your appreciative gasp. He kissed you passionately, not in any rush to stop right now. He parted from you and took a second to appreciate the throaty sighs that left your mouth at his actions, the way you bit your lip and the slight wrinkle on your brow as you grew closer to your release. He’d missed being able to see you like this, but he was relishing the opportunity to relearn and do all the things that made your body contort in pleasure. “You’re beautiful.” He exhaled in complete awe.
You were so caught up in the pleasure radiating throughout your body that you had already forgotten his plan and you were too put out by the feeling of your climax fading away to recall where your side of the bargain came into it. “Hey-” You cut yourself off as you saw the expectant expression on his face and then you remembered what you had to do to get what you craved but that doubt was still there, and you felt awkward doing it. However, the reassurance and trust that also rested on his face saw to it that you did as he said. “I- I’m beautiful.”
 Hunter bowed his head with a supportive smile before he carried on, the sound of your groan was like music to his ears. “Despite all that’s happened… all that we still have to do… you always find a way to make me smile.”
You were in a state of total euphoria and therefore failed to fully comprehend that he’d said something else. It was only when you felt him pull his hand away and the emptiness that followed that brought you back to the current situation. With a whine, you spoke again, “I- make- make you s- smile.” You ground out as you moved your hips in tandem with his touch as you chased your high.
He let you have your first climax, pausing to let you come down from it. Once your breathing evened out, he went again and kissed you before muttering against your lips, “You’re smart.”
“I’m- fuck.” You were too distracted by seeking the next release you were longing for to remember to respond, and you cried out in irritation as he stopped just before you reached it.  
“Almost.” He crooned into your ear.
As frustrated as you were, you got your bearings and whispered, “I’m smart.”
“Good girl.” He praised, a grin on his face as your breath stuttered at his words, before he continued, curling his fingers in the way he knew would send you over the edge and sure enough, your hips lifted as your release crashed over you and a gratified moan sounded from you. However, he didn’t stop, he worked you through it and said, “You’re caring.”
The process got easier and began to feel more natural. You slowly started to understand that clinging on to that part of your past had made it impossible to fully come back. Keeping yourself hidden and refusing to acknowledge what you’d experienced had made it difficult to fathom that he could still want you this way but each affirmation from his, as silly as you’d initially felt at doing what he said, was helping cement the idea that you may not be able to change or fix what you’d gone through, but it didn’t have to control you anymore. You had a partner and family that loved you and who you adored and would do anything for. You would get through this and now you were beginning to feel like you could do it. You felt yourself believing what he was telling you. A whimper left your throat, and you could already sense that you were hurtling towards the edge again, but you repeated it. “I’m c- caring.” You said through panted breaths as you coped with the overstimulation.
“You’re doing so well.” He encouraged as he kept to his word and continued to touch you. “You’re strong.” He knew he was repeating himself, but they weren’t words he minded reiterating, and he needed you to know and believe it too.
“I’m strong.” You said breathlessly as your hands curled into the blanket beneath you as that feeling overcame you again.
He saw you through your next peak and took his hand away to give you a rest from the stimulation and simply stared at you and the blissed out look on your face. He had it committed to memory, but it never ceased to take his breath away every time.
You gathered yourself enough to smile at him. “Thank you.” You whispered as you lightly followed the shape of his tattoo. You clasped the back of his neck and attempted to pull him towards you, but he worked his way out of your grip and instead kissed the hollow of your throat before kissing his way down the rest of your body. Your head fell back as you realised his intent, but you had thought it would be time for him to take what it was he needed.
He could help the groan that left him as he finally put his mouth on you. He could get drunk off the taste of you, and it had been too fucking long since he’d had the chance to do so, and he wasn’t about to stop now.
You couldn’t help the way your hands tangled in his hair and tugged him closer to you, his appreciative growl sent shivers down your spine, but you were so sensitive, and you didn’t think you could manage another one. “Hunter, I can’t. Just-”
“One more. I know you can.” He encouraged desperately as he planted a kiss to your inner thigh, sucking a bruise into the skin, before he went back to where his attention was demanded. He needed you to fall apart on his tongue, he was addicted to it, every drop of you, every whimper that sounded from you was like his own personal drug and he would never tire of it. “You’ve been such a good girl… done everything I’ve asked for… just give me one more, sweetheart.”
That did it. Your back arched and you finished with a ruined and exhausted moan. You were completely spent but it felt so good. You barely registered him to come rest beside you, his lips pressed against your temple.
“I know that wasn’t easy, but I’m so proud of you.” Hunter murmured into your hairline as he stroked up and down your side.
You regained enough feeling in your limbs to turn on your side “What about you?” You queried, still struggling to catch your breath. You knew you would be sensitive but your overwhelming longing for him swiftly outweighed any concerns.
Hunter slowly shook his head as he brushed his lips against yours, taking them away when you went to deepen the kiss. “This was always about you.”
With each passing moment, you were gaining more clarity over your faculties, and you knew what you had to do. A seductive smile pulled at the corners of your mouth and your hand snaked down between you both.
“What-” Hunter inhaled sharply as he felt your hand wrap around him, and his jaw clenched as he fought the urge to thrust his hips into your touch. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to-”
“You said this was about me and what I need, right?” You hummed as you rested your forehead against his whilst your hand kept moving. You kept your touch teasing but just enough to drive him crazy.
“R-right.” Hunter said through a strained breath as he felt his restraint leaving him with every second you continued to touch him.
“And what I need is to feel you…” You brought your lips close to his, barely any space between you now. “Inside me.” You kissed him, tugging his lip between your teeth whilst your free hand entangled itself in his hair, the actions eliciting the depraved groan you had been looking for, and before you knew it, you were back on your back again with Hunter kissing you with a newfound fervour which you matched in kind. You wrapped your legs around him and drew him closer to you, smiling against his lips at the surprised huff that escaped him.  
Hunter kept kissing you as he started to guide himself into you. He knew you would still feel tender and was careful as he slowly moved into you, both of your breaths catching at the feeling. His head fell to rest in the crook of your neck, biting down on the skin there before he soothed the sting of it with his tongue as he started to move, heavy grunts and pants leaving his lips as he got absorbed in feeling you this way after all this time.
Your nails dug into his back, and you could feel the muscles flex beneath your fingers and a sensual sigh left your lungs as you finally felt all of him.
One thought crossed your mind amidst the fog of pleasure that was spreading over your body. You’d let go of your fear now and you wanted to look for that connection again. Before, it had marked a level of certainty of your place here and overall mindset and if you couldn’t find it after all that had happened, there was a time where you would’ve been sure that it would mean there was no true way back for you. But now you understood that wasn’t and didn’t have to be the case. If it wasn’t there, you could work to get it back.
You used the Force around you to find his unique signature again and you could’ve wept with joy as you sensed it once more and it welcomed you with open arms. It had been waiting for you. You bridged the gap between you and allowed that feeling to flow through you. I love you.
Hunter paused his movements, and he stared down at you, a shocked but delighted cry left his mouth as he saw the broad and affirming smile on your face that told him he hadn’t imagined it. He’d wanted to have that back for so long and his heart soared as he realised what this meant for you. You weren’t holding back anymore; you were officially home.
You stroked a thumb along his cheekbone before clenched around him in an attempt to get him to keep going, a smug hum of laughter leaving you at the almost pained expression on his face as he got himself back under control before he started again.
“Do it again. Please.” Hunter requested frantically as he felt himself approaching his own release.
You smiled affectionately at him and continued to kiss him as you saw him through to his climax. I love you. I love you. I love you.
He finished with a strangled groan, and he collapsed on top of you. He stayed there for a few moments before he gently pulled out of you, stroking your hair as he saw you slightly wince at the action. “I’m sorry if it was too much.”
You shook your head. “It was perfect. You were perfect.” You reassured him as he laid down beside you and held you close to him. We should clean up.
Hunter made a sound of acknowledgement as he pressed his mouth to the crown of your head. “What made you do that again?”
“I let go.” You said simply before planting a chaste kiss to his lips before taking his hands in yours and guiding him to the refresher. “Come on.”
--
“What are you thinking?” Hunter asked as he watched you pick up the wrapped lightsaber from the shelf Wrecker had put it on. You hadn’t touched it since taking it from the bounty hunter.
“I can’t hold on to or fear the past anymore. We can only look to the future now and that future has us getting Omega back. And…” You uncovered the seemingly harmless looking weapon. “I think this will make achieving that easier.” You reached for it, hesitating for just a moment before you picked it up and it was an instant reaction. You took half a step back as the sensation of feeling that connection you hadn’t encountered for years threatened to overwhelm you. Flashes of your past as a youngling and echoes of previous battles and instructions from your master sounded in your head but it wasn’t scary this time, you were merely remembering the periods where this weapon had been your life.
Hunter placed a steadying hand on your shoulder. “You alright?”
You took one long breath. “Yeah. It’ll just take come getting used to, but it’s going to be worth it. I’m not hiding what I am these days, may as well have the whole image.” You said light-heartedly.
Hunter cupped your jaw and kissed you gently, both of you sighing contentedly into the sensation before Wrecker’s hesitant voice echoed through the comms.
“Um, Hunter… I hope I’m not interrupting eh anything now but um I was wondering if I could come back? I’ve started to wander in circles and I’m getting some suspicious looks.”
The two of you chuckled.
“Poor guy.” You said with a humorous shake of your head.
“Yeah, Wrecker, head on back and we can get outta here.” Hunter replied through his comm.
“Wrecker, how’d you fancy having an excuse to shoot at me?” You said into your comm, and the intrigued but excited cheer told you your answer.
“Shoot you?” Hunter repeated, titling his head at you inquisitively.
You grinned as you clipped your lightsaber to your waist. “Yeah, how else did you think I was going to train?”
--
“That’s 15 to 11!” Wrecker whooped as you came to after his stun blast hit your back.
Fuck you. You jabbed playfully as you accepted Hunter’s outstretched hand. He tugged you to your feet.
“You’re lasting longer.” Hunter commented supportively and- knowing you would want to go immediately again- walked away to take up his position.
You wiped the dirt from your clothing and removed your mask to take some deep breaths and find your centre again. Taking on jobs, following leads, mediating and lightsaber training… that was how you balanced your time; you were feeling more like the person you had been before your world had been torn apart. You’d never be able to be her again, but you could own who you are now and allow yourself to feel the emotions you’d been struggling against without suffocating in them anymore.
“But still not long enough!” Wrecker goaded. “I’ll always be in the lead!”
You didn’t take the bait. Instead, you took off your armour, gloves, and long-sleeved top.
“Hey, wait a minute, that’s not fair.” Wrecker protested.
Hunter turned inquisitively and his breath hitched. A soft sheen of sweat graced your skin and your body rippled with strength and untapped potential… and fuck did it make his heart skip a beat and his blood run hot. He was grateful his helmet was still on because the way his eyes widened would’ve given you too much material to work with right now, but he wasn’t able to hide the way his hand slightly fumbled as he unholstered his blaster. He wasn’t embarrassed by finding you attractive in this way, the frequent teasing he’d often received for it just made it harder to focus on the task at hand.
“The training stays the same and my strategy is my own. It’s not supposed to have an effect on you anyway.” You retorted with a smug grin as Hunter’s reaction went exactly as you’d anticipated.
“You better not mess this up for us, Hunter.” Wrecker warned as he shoved his brother’s shoulder to snap him out his reverie.
You laughed to yourself as you watched them. You picked up your lightsaber and ignited it, the blue blade thrumming at your side, and you felt that rush of connection and security. Having a blaster by your side was nothing compared to this.
It was a powerful sight that Hunter never got used to and quite frankly, part of him was relieved he’d never come across you as an official Jedi General during the war because if his reaction to seeing you train and work towards unlocking whatever you had been tampering down for so many years was anything to by, he would’ve gotten himself shot a long time ago- half your earlier victories came from redirecting his own stun blasts to him.
You got into your stance and faced the two clones as they readied their blasters. “Alright, let’s go again.”
<Previous Oneshot
Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @fuckoffthanos, @tpwkcalli, @graciexmarvel, @arctrooper69, @nightmonkeysstuff, @starwarsnerd111, @brujaporfavor, @flyingkangaroo, @sunkissedclones, @ladytano420, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf, @yyourmotherr, @xxeiraxx, @dragonrider9905, @skellymom, @lokigirlszendaya
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misc-obeyme · 6 months
Text
You know the drill.
Spoilers for Lesson 40 below, including locked and hard lessons.
Just to clarify: when I say that it’s “the end” in my rantings, I am referring to season two, not the entire game. ☺️
Hmm.
I'm confused. And... underwhelmed? What even just happened?
I mean, we had lovely moments with the side characters and we got to kiss them all and of course I'm incredibly pleased I got to kiss Barbatos and Solomon, but aside from that we just... went back?
Most of the lesson was about the RAD founding ceremony. We say good bye to the side characters and they even address how we told Solomon his cooking was bad (more on this later).
But just as the ceremony is about to start, a dark rift opens in the sky. It's a rift in space and time. Barbatos straight up asks Solomon if he did it. Solomon says he didn't, but that he wasn't expecting it to show up so soon. (So who did create it? Nightbringer? And if so, doesn't this prove Solomon at the very least knows enough to know when Nightbringer is going to open a portal back through time??)
We miss the ceremony because we have to go through that rift if we wanna get back. The brothers come with us because we need their power. Just like when we summoned the white dragon, we call upon each brother for his power. Then Solomon adds his. Then there's a bright light and..
...roll credits.
Yeah. That's it. That's the end.
There's a locked lesson where Diavolo gives a speech at the ceremony.
And then the HARD lesson... is us returning to the House of Lamentation in our time. The brothers are all like oh hey MC good morning like nothing even happened. They say it's weird because it feels like it's been a long time since they've seen MC but that can't be right because it hasn't been that long at all.
AND THAT'S IT.
No Nightbringer. No further insight from Solomon or Barbatos. Not even sad angsty brothers who have been missing us.
It was like they didn't know we were gone.
So either we went back a little further in time or there was never a point where they decided as a group to send Solomon back to help us.
We didn't even get a Michael appearance!
THAT WAS VERY ANTICLIMACTIC.
I am confused because it wasn't bad, it was kinda cheesy, there were some sweet lines and like I mentioned previously I got to kiss my malewives but WHAT THE JUNK.
I'm not suffering, more like I'm just left hanging???
My one consolation is that we're back in our timeline now. So maybe NEXT SEASON we can FINALLY get some ANSWERS.
I really thought they couldn't drag it out any further and yet...
I didn't take a whole lot of screenshots this time because again, it was kinda just... underwhelming. Overall this lesson was just me going that's it?! And being baffled.
First I'd like to present you with these lovely Barbatos moments.
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As sweet as this is, the man knows. Not that I ever thought anything else, but he's so subtle about it. I'm onto you, Barb.
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My HEART. If I wasn't going back to another version of him, I would just be like nope staying by your side forever the end I don't care about anybody else.
But before all that, there was also this:
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I'm glaring at you because you let Solomon into the kitchen.
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I DIDN'T WANT TO.
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OF COURSE I DIDN'T.
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GOOD. SOMEONE ELSE CAN SUFFER WITH ME.
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OHHhhhh Barb I love when you get all threatening and smile like that 💕
But seriously, then Barbatos and Luke help Solomon make a lunch that's actually delicious and we eat it with everybody and they're all amazed. I was like OKAY WELL I do feel a bit better about that whole fiasco now. But still, was it even necessary to begin with? No amount of sweet kitchen buffoonery with these guys is going to make me forget the pain.
At least we had a cute Solomon moment, too.
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Yeah but I'm still wondering about the past version of you, Sol. I'm just saying, where is that guy?
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I mean you don't have to look so sad about it.
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Ah. Your jealousy is showing, Solomon. (I don't mind.)
Hard Lesson bits because I'm still just ????
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YEAH BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T.
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YEAH IT'S BEEN TWO WHOLE SEASONS.
Once again, I am left with more questions than what I started with. Will MC tell the brothers what happened? Will we just never see the past brothers again? Will we return to the past in the next season? Will we ever see Nightbringer again, the being for whom this game was named?
At the very least, we still have Mephisto being himself and man I can't believe I ever disliked this guy.
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THAT'S MY BOY.
I'm feeling extremely unsatisfied but it isn't like that's anything new.
I will say that it wasn't as bad as I expected. I was expecting them to do some really terrible things that made me freak out and scream and scare my cat. But no, I was mostly just ?? the whole time. And confusion is preferable to suffering in this case.
But I am also ANNOYED. We have waited long enough for the Nightbringer reveal, please give it to us now Solmare!!!
I fear we only have a short time before we are dragged further into this game that has truly become a hell of its own when season three is upon us... (I'm being deliberately melodramatic but still...)
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sinkovia · 5 months
Text
One more mission: II
Price x GN!Reader
Angst.
The room was bathed in gentle morning light as the sun peeked through the blinds of the window. You lay nestled next to John, wrapped in his warm embrace, a content smile gracing your lips as you gazed up at him. He returned your loving look with an affectionate one of his own, his eyes filled with adoration.
With a gentle touch, John brushed his hand gently over your cheek, and you couldn't help but smile, snuggling closer against his bare chest. In this intimate moment, your thoughts turned to the future you longed for.
"I can't wait until we have our own little house together," you murmured, a dreamy smile dancing on your lips as you met his gaze. His smile deepened at your words.
"A small house, huh?" he replied, his voice warm and inviting. You pondered for a moment, your brows furrowing in thought.
You considered his question for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, a cute little house surrounded by lots of trees and flowers. Somewhere cold and cloudy." His fingers were tracing small, comforting circles on your back.
John’s heart swelled with love for you, and he couldn't help but admire your vision. "Somewhere cold, like Alaska? Or Greenland?" You furrowed your brows, contemplating the options, and he couldn't resist a chuckle.
"Greenland would be nice, but we would have to learn the language," you noted.
"We could learn the language, love" he assured, his thumb caressing your cheek. "I suppose that means we'll have a winter wedding."
Your smile lit up the room, and you nodded in agreement. "I think our kids will like the snow," you envisioned what it would be like to have a childhood in a wintery wonderland.
"I'm sure they will love it. Building snowmen, making snow angels, and coming inside to drink tea." he mused, his heart swelling at the prospect of starting a family with you.
"Tea sounds bloody nice right now."
Your laughter filled the room, and you ran your hand through his hair, an affectionate gesture that tugged at John's heartstrings. Your thoughts turned to the inevitable question, the dream you held onto dearly.
"When do you think we can retire?" you were searching for answers in his eyes. He contemplated it for a moment, his gaze locked onto yours.
"Soon, love" his eyes soft with the promise of a shared future. You smiled against his lips before drawing him into a tender kiss. His hand gently found its way back to your cheek as he deepened the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, the two of you lost in the sweet reverie of your dreams, your love, and the life you hoped to share together.
He sighed as his lips pressed against yours. Your presence was comforting and soothing, and for a moment, the weight of the world seemed to lift. But just as suddenly, he jolted awake, his eyes flew open, and he found himself covered in sweat, the room shrouded in darkness. Panic gripped him as he sat up, searching frantically for you, his heart pounding in his chest.
His eyes darted around the room, but you were nowhere to be found. His trembling hand found the nightstand light switch, and with the soft glow illuminating the room, he realized that he was alone. And then, it hit him. It was another dream, a painful reminder of what could have been if he had been more vigilant, if he had been better to you.
His mind wandered back to the recurring dream, a time when you were still alive, the memory of when you first asked him about retiring.
He remembered the words he had spoken to you, a promise that had never come true – "soon." The weight of his lie hung heavy in the air as he recalled that moment. If only he had meant it, if only he had retired as you wished.
His mind flashed back to that fateful day, a year ago when he had finally agreed to retire, after years of you pleading with him. He had told you that it would be the last mission, but he hadn't noticed the sniper in the distance, and you had pushed him out of the way, taking the fatal bullet through the neck.
He could only blame himself for not listening to you, for not retiring sooner. If he had only agreed earlier, you would still be here. A year had passed since your death, but John's grief and regret hadn't lessened. He would forever be plagued by dreams of what could have been, the haunting reminders of his failure to cherish you.
Writing a part 2 was so unnecessary but I just wanted more angst 👹
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beomboomboom · 6 months
Text
Cure for me
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genre: fluff, established relationship
pairing: Junhui x reader
summary: When you discover Jun has been hiding his sickness from you for the past week, to say you're furious when you find out would be an understatement. But Jun already feels terrible as is, so rather than unleashing your fury on him, you try to cure his pain through the best way you know, cuddles.
warnings: cuteness overload :D
note: Please tell me if there is anything I should fix! Enjoy reading the fic <33
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"You told me that you were okay! You promised!" You shouted, livid after finding out how sick Jun has been for the past week. Even more furious at the fact that he didn't even think of telling you he wasn't feeling alright.
Sure, you could feel something was off. Jun hadn't been responding to your text messages as quick as he normally did. Jun had also made a ton of excuses when you offered to go to his house to check up on him. But when you questioned him about his suspicious behavior, he simply brushed you off. "I'm fine, I promise," Jun had texted.
Liar.
Jun was not fine.
When you finally went to his house to check up on him, he had a 103 degree fever and could only stumble against a wall whenever he tried to walk.
"Sit up," you order gently as you hold a bowl of warm soup with a spoon, and sit down next to Jun's bed.
"Thanks love, but I'm fine. I'm not even that sick. You didn't need to come here," Jun weakly mumbles in protest as he sits up slowly and takes the warm bowl from your hands.
"You idiot. You're obviously not fine. Do you even realize how high your fever is right now?" You say, annoyed by the fact that Jun has the audacity to think he's fine and doesn't need help, when he so obviously does.
You're about to lecture him further, but once you see Jun start to have a coughing fit and groan in pain afterwards, you instantly become worried.
"Let me get the cough medicine," you say, your tone gentle and worried as you pat Jun on the back a few times and go on a search for the medicine box.
When you finally return, this time with the medicine box in hand, you quickly take out the cough medicine and measure out the correct dose. Once you feed Jun the medicine, you quickly tell him lay down and take some time to rest and recuperate. "It's for your own good,' you say, laughing lightly as you tuck him into bed.
But just as you're about to stand up and leave, you feel a hand latch around your wrist.
"Sorry I didn't tell you I was feeling sick. I didn't want to be a burden to you." Jun blurts out shyly, embarrassed.
Your eyes immediately soften upon hearing his confession. "Oh, Jun. You'll never be a burden for me," you say as you cup your hands around Jun's face lovingly. You give him a fond smile before continuing on saying, "I always love taking care of you. Here, move over, let me cuddle with you, maybe you'll feel a little better."
"Wha-," Jun splutters out, flabbergasted. "But I'm sick, I don't want you to get sick too." He says as he begins to protest, not wanting to risk your health for his own comfort and enjoyment.
"It's okay, you're worth getting sick for. Besides, if I do get sick, we can be sick together." You say while smiling teasingly.
Jun sighs then pauses for a minute, contemplating, before reluctantly lifting up his blanket so that you can join him under the covers.
The second you lay down next to Jun, he pulls you close to his chest and envelopes you into a tight and warm hug. You yelp in surprise at first before turning around to face Jun as you give him a small peck on his nose. "You're silly," you say with a little giggle.
"You love it," Jun teasingly replies as he combs his fingers through your hair and gazes at your face lovingly. He then places his hands on your cheeks and litters small little kisses all over your face.
"I-" you mutter, speechless, as a light blush travels across your cheeks. You then let out an embarrassed squeal before turning your back to Jun to hide your pink face.
But Jun, as flirty as ever, simply comes closer from behind you and slowly wraps his hands around your waist. He even has the audacity to then rest his head on your shoulder and nuzzle his nose into your neck.
"Does this make you feel better?" You teasingly ask as you turn your face upwards to face Jun.
"Whenever I'm with you, I feel better," Jun admits while giving you a sheepish smile, before continuing on to say, "You're the perfect cure for me."
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ohdeerfully · 2 months
Text
HEYY HIII i finally gave some attention to this fic! this will be the final part, so i wrote in some semi sweet fluffiness between reader and al <3 kisses kisses hugs love you all!
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Your Half of the Deal (iii)(Final)
Alastor x Reader
part i part ii part iii
TW: kidnapping, violence, alastor ooc probably... oh whale
join my discord!
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You had lost track of the time spent in that room, a near constant headache thrumming in your head due to the deep bass that you now knew resonated from the club just beyond the door. Every now and then you would recognize the faint tune of a familiar pop song—Angel often took you out to bars to escape from the Hotel—and let yourself enjoy the recognition, humming along. It was truly the only thing you could do with yourself.
You humored yourself with the thought of who your knight in shining armor may be, if one ever came. Would it be Alastor? Finally holding up his half of your soul bargain? Or maybe even Angel, stumbling across you in a bender with Cherri? Or even an unrelated third party that wouldn’t even recognize you; surely the Vee’s have made enough enemies to warrant somebody saving you just to get back at them. No matter who crossed your mind, you couldn’t get your hopes up. You were certain it hadn’t been days in here, but it had been long enough that you were starting to convince yourself nobody was coming.
You may just have to save yourself.
Due to the constant struggle against the metal restraints that chained you to the bed, your wrists had begun to blister and scab, sending dull waves of sensitive pain through your arms. Vox often visited, putting on a face of care and concern, but you knew better than to trust him. All Overlords had to be manipulative to get their way, and Vox was no exception—in fact, he may just be the worst of the worst (not including Alastor). He offered various times to help you dress the wounds on your arms, but you returned his gestures by hissing insults and lunging for that oversized television he had for a head. He kept trying, though, and each attempt at playing nice made you feel all the more crazy and violent. 
Speak of the devil, you thought with a frown as the door opened, briefly casting multicolored lights and a blare of loud music into the room before it was quickly silenced by the click of the door closing again. You subconsciously leaned towards the exit, desperately wanting to escape.
The tall, flat-faced demon strode in, head held high with, in your opinion, undeserved confidence. He was a coward. You fucking hated cowards. You let your lips curl into a sneer as he stopped a foot away from you, peering down with his own curled smirk. 
“You’ll get an infection,” Vox referred to your wrists. This shit again? You clenched your fists. “Please, let me treat them. It’s the least I could–”
“Man fuck off with that shit!” You snapped, leaning forward. You bared your fangs at him, tail lashing. “The least you could do is let me the fuck out! I’m fuckin’ hungry!”
Vox’s smile grew wider, and his eyes narrowed slightly. He took a breath in through his teeth, trying to remain polite. He sat down next to you, the mattress dipping with his weight. You took extreme care to not let yourself fall towards him from the unexpected shift.
Despite every bone in your body wanting to lunge in attack like usual, you held back. Truthfully you knew it was futile, you just enjoyed the rush you got from just trying to fight back. This time, though, you wanted to see if you could get any information about your current situation out of him. Maybe it would help you escape.
“You know we can’t let you out,” He said in a condescendingly sweet tone. He reached a hand out and placed it on your shoulder, digging his claws into your shirt and nearly into your skin when you tried to jerk away. You got the hint. “What better way to get to that out-dated Overlord than taking away his favorite toy?”
“I’m not a toy,” You said through clenched teeth. While you doubted this fact yourself, you would never admit it. Not to Vox. The smile he gave you in return was akin to an adult looking down on a naive child. It made your blood boil, and the internal battle you were having to not fly into attack mode was getting harder and harder. All the while you were talking, you kept analyzing him, looking for any semblance to a key, or anything that may serve as a lockpick. Whether to your restraints or even to the door, either would bring you one step closer to getting out. 
There was no doubt he recognized what you were doing—he was an Overlord, not a fool. Maybe he didn’t expect you to be much of a challenge, or to get very far, as he made no move to avert your prying eyes. If anything, it was like he was asking you to try, what with the way he shifted in such a way that you noticed the slight imprint of a key in his pocket. You tried your best to act indifferent. How the hell were you going to get that?
“Could you at least let me out for a moment to piss?” You kept up the attitude, but slumped your shoulders to look defeated and averted your eyes to the floor. Out of the corner of your eye you saw his smile grow, a cheshire-like grin as if he was watching a mouse play right into his trap. And you didn’t doubt you were, Vox would never be so careless as to reveal the presence of a key unless it was on purpose. It didn’t matter to you, though, because you resolved to just be stronger than he expected you to be. He was underestimating you.
“Oh, but of course! No wonder you’ve been so snippy,” He joked, idly picking up the chain that was attached to the wall with a finger as he spoke. He shifted his hand over towards your wrists, gripping them just barely hard enough to send a wave of sensitive pain through your hand. You grit your teeth and bore back any recognition of the pain as he continued to fiddle with your chains.
He produced a key from his coat pocket. This must mean that the key in his pants pocket was for the door… which, if everything goes fine, would be perfect. Without your restraints, you only had to worry about getting the fuck out of here.
Relief swelled through your wrists when the clasps fell away from your skin, fresh air soothing your raw skin. You allowed yourself a second to tenderly press your fingers against the blisters, wincing at the sting it caused. You shook your hands out in front of you and stood, watching Vox out of the corner of your eye. He stood and offered his arm to you; although, you knew it was less of an offer and more of a command. He wouldn’t let you out of here if he couldn’t hold on to you.
You slowly slipped your arm through the curve of his elbow, linking yourself to him. You allowed yourself to mentally vomit at the contact, but held your expression steady and calm as he led you out. Maybe causing a scene in public will help? Honestly doubtful—you were in Hell, after all, and demons were much too intimidated by the technology Overlord. Maybe someone you know will just so happen to be here?
Thoughts and plans raced through your mind, but none seemed plausible. At this point, you thought it was just best to throw yourself at him even if it got you nowhere. It might do you good to get some energy out at the very least. 
Your senses were immediately overwhelmed when he opened the door; bright, flashing neon lights and the deep booming bass of music swamped over you. You were no stranger to this type of scene, but after being locked up in a deathly quiet room for some time… a headache was quick to come.
Swiftly taking in the scene before you, you desperately searched for some semblance of familiarity within the sea of people as Vox led you against the wall towards the restroom. You didn’t see anybody that you knew, but caught a few curious eyes, no doubt over the fact that you were basically holding Vox’s hand. You wished you could cast out some mental signal that you did not want to be this close to the Overlord and beg demons not to get the wrong idea. 
Your attention was brought back when Vox’s arm fell away from yours, and you realized you were standing in front of the restroom. You cast him a quick look before quickly dashing into the room, thankful to finally have a chance away from him without shackles on your arms. You rested your hands on the lip of the sink, heaving a shaky breath and looking absently at the drain, tracing the pattern of the speckles of undrained water that clung to the porcelain. You tried not to let it get to you, especially not in his presence, but being so close to the Technology Overlord made every nerve in your body blaze with anxiety.
Flipping the faucet on, you let the lukewarm water run over your bruised wrists. Times like this you wished Hell had the convenience of cold tapwater, but the water nevertheless did the job of soothing your skin. You watched the water blankly for a minute, mind lost in thought over your situation. The gentle warmth of the water almost sent you into a trancelike state, and you were likely to get stuck there for a few moments just enjoying it if it wasn’t for a loud banging at the door and an impatient voice calling for you. You snapped back a retort about him rushing you, but you still turned off the faucet and dried your hands.
With a quick glance at yourself in the mirror, you gave yourself a resolute and firm look before leaving the restroom. You could do this.
You flung open the door, not taking time to observe Vox’s somewhat surprised look as his fist was still raised to continue knocking on the door. You made a mad dash past him, ducking under claws that swung at your shirt collar in an attempt to yank you back. 
“Fuck- fucking get back here!” You heard him snarl from behind you, voice unnaturally louder than the music that boomed in the room. It was as if he just… commanded the music to be quieter so he could project his own, overpowering voice. Though you knew, as the Technology Overlord, that was most likely in his limit of power, you still couldn’t help the cold feeling that the uncanny experience sent in your bones. You kept running, ignoring the shouts of curiosity from the crowd at the whole ordeal.
A strong arm wrapped around your neck, bringing you close to somebody’s chest. The sudden change of momentum and pressure on your throat made you sputter momentarily for air, but it didn’t take long for you to come to and realize how fucked you were.
“Vox! Ova’ here!” The demon who held you tightly shouted, and you managed to just barely catch sight of his face. His smile was huge and toothy, a pleased look glimmering in his eyes. He fiercely waved his hand in the air.
“You gross, good for nothing fanboy!” You cried, struggling in his grip. You brought your hands up to his burly arm and dug your claws as much as possible into his skin, yanking down and shredding his skin. He kicked you away with a pained yelp, snarling some curses at you as he nursed his arms and slunk back in the crowd, of which had formed a large circle around the two of you, undoubtedly to the bar to lick his wounds. You stood, preparing to run, but… You realized it was too late.
Vox cleared his throat behind you. He had no need to grab you—you both knew running would be futile at this point. You tightened your lips together in a grimace and clenched your fists. What would you do now? 
Fuck it, and, just like you had when you first came across him, you lunged at him. Though, this time you went lower, hurling yourself into his stomach. He stumbled just enough to give you time to send a frenzy of claws across his body, scratching anything that came within reach of you. You gripped his leg and yanked up, toppling him over before you ran once again.
You didn’t get far before something curled over your ankle, twisting around the limb and tripping you. You fell to your hands with a loud ‘fuck’ before shooting your eyes to see what the culprit was—a thin wire twisted up your leg, digging harder and harder into your skin as the seconds past. Every attempt you made seemed futile to rid yourself of Vox, and you had to bite back a cry of frustration.
“Pets don’t get far without their leash,” He spat distastefully at you. A line of blood fell from his mouth, and you couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride in yourself for making Vox feel some pain, even if the blood on his face was just a display of light.
Vox walked closer, his height sending an ominous shade over your downed body. You didn’t let yourself tremble, though you wanted to, because you truly had nowhere to go from here; you couldn’t let him know that you were afraid. You would keep fighting him, no matter what, even if it would kill you. If you weren’t going to escape this shit, you would die trying. In your frenzied mindset, you didn’t notice the growing sensation of static that prickled against your skin.
Alastor stood in front of the club, ears flat against his head in an attempt to block out the blaring music that he could already hear from outside the doors. He abhorred places like this, finding them distasteful and a disgrace to the clubs that he frequented back in his day. Of course, he had to get over himself in that regard—finding and saving you from the grasps of that nasty TV head was more important.
His shadow had returned to him a few hours after he left the Vees’ residence, having seen Vox himself entering the club through a back entrance. He had wasted no time in making his way there, ignoring the painful thrumming of his heart and the twisting feeling his stomach made. 
With a twirl of his cane and quick adjustment to his bowtie, he made his way in, melting into his shadow to slip in the crack of the same back door his shadow had seen. When inside, he found himself in a somewhat desolate corner of the club, his ears twitching uncomfortably at the sound of the music, louder now that he was inside. He swept his red eyes across the huge room, trying to see past the swarm of demons.
A light pressure on his shoulder, which he quickly recognized came from his shadow, urged his attention towards a room just to the left of the back entrance. The door was cracked open, and he slunk towards the door, peeking in before entering to ensure nobody was there.
The room immediately sent a wave of some uncomfortably intense emotion through him, though he wasn’t quite sure what—fury, maybe?—because the room smelled just like you. His nostrils flared and his eyes immediately narrowed at the realization, and the stick of his cane creaked from the grip he held on it. He didn’t fully understand why the hint of your presence after your absence made him feel so strongly, but he did know that he was pissed, the feeling of which was only increased tenfold when he saw the shackles that lay ominously barren on the bed.
He swiftly left the room, not caring if the slamming of the door brought any attention to him. It didn’t, though, and he quickly realized that a commotion on the other side of the club had already drawn the attention of everyone. A voice—no, your voice shouted something, and another wave of that fury coursed through Alastor’s veins. He quickly moved forward, shoving through the crowd. Demons began noticing his presence as he pushed, and space was being made for him to move through.
Though he wanted nothing more than to simply tear Vox apart, Alastor quickly gained composure and stepped out from the crowd into the wide berth that had formed around Vox and you. 
Alastor met your gaze for a brief moment, noting how thrilled you looked to see him and quickly sweeping his eyes over your body and analyzing your condition. His smile curled up in a light snarl when he saw the wire that twisted around your leg. How dare that flat-faced Overlord touch what belonged to Alastor?
He turned his head towards said Overlord, whose face was lit with a multitude of different emotions. Alastor could tell his breathing was coming rapidly, and whether it was due to excitement, fear, or even both, Alastor didn’t know nor did he truly care. All he saw was a pathetic demon before him who took something that wasn’t his.
“My old friend!” Alastor exclaimed with fake friendliness, a smile lighting up his face as his arms stretched up and wide. He stepped towards Vox, an ominous shadow forming under his feet as he walked. Tiny tendrils of flame licked up from the manifesting power as Alastor purposefully made an attempt to intimidate Vox into submission. There was intense bloodlust in his veins, but he was less inclined to create a scene with another Overlord than just getting out of here with you. Plus, despite Vox’s obsession with defeating Alastor, the other two Vee’s really kept out of the feud… Alastor didn’t want to draw the attention of them as well.
Vox didn’t yield, though, and he also began walking towards Alastor, though his body language was much less friendly. His shoulders were high and tense and his claws curled into fists, a frown flickering onto the screen of his face. The two stopped just a foot from each other, and the energy in the room crackled dangerously. The music had stopped, and the crowd of demons had begun slinking out of the club, deathly quiet so as to not draw the attention from the Overlords. This wasn’t particularly necessary, though, as they watched each other with equally unyielding iron stares.
Alastor allowed one more look at you when he heard you weakly say his name. Maybe the sight of him brought you enough relief to finally let exhaustion overcome your body, because you had lost all will to fight. When he saw just how pitiful you looked, how extremely exhausted you were, he didn’t care to hold back anymore.
“I don’t let thieves get away for long,” Alastor said, his voice low and filled with static. He felt the weight of his horns as they expanded while his limbs grew unnaturally, allowing him to tower in height over Vox. In response, tendrils of wire began sprouting from Vox’s body, as well as dangling from the ceiling, poised to attack. “Somebody should’ve taught you some manners on property.”
“We’re in Hell, genius,” Vox growled back. There was an almost ecstatic look in his eyes, but his voice sounded rushed and frantic. “I know you’re old, but come on! How do you forget that?”
Alastor didn’t grace Vox with a response, an inky black spear of shadow shooting from the pool that had been forming underneath Alastor’s feet. It stabbed into Vox’s leg, who couldn’t react in time, but he stood his ground still and threw his own wave of tendrils at Alastor in return. Alastor was quick to move out of the way of the piercing wire, but he wasn’t able to avoid the three that came from above and wrapped around his torso, lifting him nearly a foot off the ground. His red eyes were steadfast of Vox, and he didn’t bother to struggle against the wire. Vox brought him closer, face inches away from Alastor’s own.
“Somebody should’ve taught you about knowing your place! You outdated–” Vox had let his guard down, if only for a moment, and Alastor took that chance. His arm surged forward and through Vox’s face, shattering the glass display. The screen immediately went black, save for the flashes of glitching display lights as the sound of his voice was cut short, replaced by unintelligible buzzing and zapping. Alastor withdrew his hand, bleeding lightly from the glass and metal, and quickly caught his balance when the wires around his torso slackened, dropping him.
Alastor easily stepped to the side as Vox’s twitching body fell to its knees and then forward, the flat screen slamming into the ground with an almost comical slap. The radio demon looked down at it for a few seconds, the corners of his smile curling in a displeased sneer. He truly wanted to avoid getting physical. Vox wasn’t dead, Alastor knew better than to get his hopes up, but his ego would certainly be bruised.
His attention was drawn away from the body, still jerking and sparking, when he heard you softly call for him. He turned on his heel, positioning his hands over his cane to lean and look down at you. You were looking up at him, picking yourself up from the sticky club floor to sit on your knees. He couldn’t keep his eyes from lingering over your haggard appearance, especially the raw, blistering skin of your wrists.
Maybe it was how pitiful you looked, peering up at him like an abandoned kitten, your eyes glazed with a mixture of tears and exhaustion, but something in Alastor urged him to swoop down and hold you in his arms. He was able to fight himself for just a brief moment, but the overwhelming sensation of relief eventually got the best of him.
A cautious step forward, an uncertain glance over your expression, another step, pause… before he finally knelt down in front of you. He looked into your eyes, searching—for what he didn’t really know—before his arms slowly slid under yours, wrapping against the dip of your waist and gently pulling you towards himself. For now he was acting without much thought, doing something he never thought himself capable of. And, strangely enough, you reciprocated the gesture. Why was his heart swelling so much as he felt you tying your own arms around his neck? 
It was silent for some time, the club long abandoned from the confrontation with the TV demon. The tender embrace the two of you shared in a rather unconventional place was likely going to be brushed under the rug, forced to be forgotten; you both knew this fact, so maybe that’s why Alastor was letting it draw on for so long. He himself didn’t understand why he enjoyed the feeling.
“Thank you,” you started slowly, afraid to break the silence. You worried that calling attention back to reality would make Alastor shove you away and walk you home like nothing happened. When he made to move to do so, you continued. “For… saving me. I really appreciate it.”
“I couldn’t leave you in the hands of that pompous Overlord,” Alastor responded matter-of-factly. Though, you did notice the sudden lack of radio ambience in his voice. You bit back the thought of making any sort of joke about him actually caring about you—now was definitely an extremely inappropriate time for that. Maybe later.
You pulled away from the embrace slightly, making eye contact with the radio demon, your faces inches apart. You saw something in those red eyes that looked back at you, a spark of some desire that you wouldn’t dare name in front of him. You would be lying if you didn’t feel the same, too. 
When had you fallen for this guy? This overimposing jerk that manipulated you into selling your soul to him to throw you around like a doll? And why? Maybe him actually pulling his weight in your deal helped you finally realize your unknown attachment to him.
In your thoughts, you failed to realize how the proximity of your faces had gotten smaller and smaller, and you were only jerked back to the present when you felt the lightest touch of his lips against yours. In shock, you had opened your eyes, but quickly closed them when you realized what was happening. 
What felt like ages was really only a couple seconds, which was the capacity Alastor could handle. He pulled himself away, and you didn’t fail to see the hue of red that heated his face, though it was light. He cleared his throat and pressed his lips into a thin line, before he composed himself into his usual happy smile.
“A siren, I see!” He joked, trying to play himself cool as he looked down at his chest to fix his bowtie. “That wasn’t part of our deal.”
You flashed him a coy grin, unwrapping yourself from the hug and struggling to your feet. He gingerly held your hand in his so you wouldn’t fall, and let you lean against him. Falling from that wire grabbing you had evidently caused your ankle to sprain, and you were just now realizing after the adrenaline had left your system. You looked up at him playfully.
“Surely contracts can be changed.”
Alastor hummed in response, looking forward to not meet your eyes. That wasn’t a no, though.
part i part ii
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gyuarchival · 1 year
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in a better moment, at a better timing. | choi yeonjun, oneshot.
sypnosis: ex!yeonjun is trying to win you back, after a few months of breaking up. He never stops trying, until the last and final moment just as he was about to give up.
word count: 2k words.
genre: angst, happy ending, slice of life, student life.
warnings: constant mentions of smoking, arguing, fighting.
A/N: yay my first ever post! this isn't a really good oneshot for a first impression, but i had an idea that i just wanted to get it over and done with. I will be posting alot more as I have more works on the way <3 im open to constructive criticism though, just send me a message :)
“Just, enough, Choi Yeonjun. How far do you want to go? Huh? How many times do you want to do this?” you aggressively shook off his hand from your wrist that was gripping hard enough to leave red marks. 
“But baby please, I told you I am at fault, that argument from months ago shouldn't have happened if I didn’t get so upset. I know I was shitty but please, let me make things right, yeah?” 
He just had to bring this up as you accidentally bumped into him on campus before getting into class. Knowing he would not just give up, you tugged him to the back of your building, where most of the students go to smoke. Lucky for you, no one was there at that moment. 
You sighed at the sight of your ex-boyfriend looking down at you with genuine eyes, rubbing his palms together in guilt like it was a Sunday morning during church service. To ease the pain you were feeling in your temples, you took out a cigarette stick, lighting it up and taking a deep inhale, feeling the burn hitting the back of your throat. You leaned on the wall, head tilting as you exhale. 
Yeonjun looked at you with mouth agape and eyes widening. 
“Since... when do you smoke babe...?” 
“Since you broke up with me. I’m not your ‘babe’ anymore, stop calling me that.”
“I thought you hated smokers? That's why I stopped smoking in front of you.” 
“And I thought you hated my guts? Why come back for the fifth time now?” 
 He grew silent. 
“...I don’t. I have never hated you?” 
Your giggle turned into a full on laughter. 
“Really? Choi Yeonjun, you’re fucking funny. Didn’t know you took comedy classes after we broke up.” 
He took a few steps closer to you, inching closer to your face. His cologne was overpowering the cigarette smell, but all of your senses stopped working once he locked eyes with you. You seriously hoped his shadow and the gloomy sky were helping to cover your face that was getting red. 
“I’m serious, yn.” 
He took the cigarette resting on your lips in between his own index and middle fingers, and took a hit. He leaned on the wall next to you, looking up at the sky, wondering if it was going to rain. 
You couldn’t even ask him back for your stick because you were still stupidly flustered with the close proximity with your ex. Admittedly, you do still love him; but, you can’t blame yourself because you didn’t ask for the breakup, you just accepted it and (tried to) move on.
You placed a new stick in between your lips. He saw your movement, and before you could take out your lighter, he straightened his posture in front of you and held your shoulders in place. He got closer again, eyes focusing on the sticks in between the two of you, igniting your cigarette with his. For that brief moment, you stared into his eyes again. Fuck. There you go, all smothered for him again. This was the exact reason you two could last so long, close to 2 years long; authentic, real romance most relationships could not achieve for very long. 
He snickered at your reaction, which got him a smack on his shoulder that made him retract a few steps back in return. 
“Fuck was that Yeonjun.” 
“Finally you dropped my last name,” he mentioned, as he hates when close friends, especially his own partner, calls him by his full name, as it is too ‘formal’, and not friendly at all. 
You decided to sit down on the ground instead, and he followed suit. 
“Whatever, Choi Yeonjun.” 
“Hey.. thought you dropped it,” he pouted and tried acting cute. 
You didn’t give a response but an inhale of your stick which you rather much focus on. A few brief seconds of silence, he spoke again. 
“Remember during freshman year, we would text each other to sneak out and smoke during class?” 
That sentence itself made you reminisce about those old times, and elicited a chuckle as you stared at the ground. 
“Then you got caught by the class rep?” 
“Yeah then I got caught! I took a bullet for us, baby."
He chuckled. There it was, your favourite smile appearing again. God, you miss it so damn much.
He was right, he has actually taken multiple bullets for your relationship, like he said; getting caught leaving class for reasons that your professor wouldn’t approve because he thinks of his students as if they were still young and naive even though everyone is well of age (seriously, who appoints a class rep in universities these days?). He even skipped his dance club meetings and trainings  just to come down to see you, or accompany you while you wait for your next class to start, no matter if it was just 30 minutes. 
However, at the end of the second semester, the two of you started to become extremely busy. One preparing for a dance competition and one practicing business presentations respectively. Ultimately, an argument just had to rise and break the relationship; over the fact that you two lacked communication and did not trust each other to be in the hands of another in replacement. Could you blame Beomgyu, Yeonjun’s dance partner for always spending time together? Or was it okay for him to point the blame on Soobin, your senior best friend who has been helping big time in preparing for your presentations?
But in truth, he was so agitated and pressured by his competition that he decided to blow smoke on you, blaming you for spending too much time with Soobin and that he was jealous. You were stressed too, and took things too emotionally. It was a typical relationship issue you thought you could talk things through for, but he did not have the same idea. Alas, it was the beginning of your downfall. 
A few weeks after the breakup, he came back, haunting you and your friends like a spirit with unfinished business, begging to be brought back in once more and that he was at fault. The first and second time he begged you, you couldn’t even look into his eyes because you were so disappointed in him and yourself that you just walked away without responding. The third and fourth time he tried approaching you, he brought you letters and flowers that were placed on the usual spot you always sit in the lecture theatre for general studies class, which was once next to your beloved boyfriend (but now, Soobin takes that spot). He stopped doing so after seeing his flowers in the bin right outside the class. 
Those times made you think, he really still loves you, and in truth, you still love him too, no matter how many times you tried denying it, by going to clubs with friends almost every week, and them telling you he isn’t worth it. You couldn't look him in the eye because you were scared of accepting this bittersweet truth. You threw the flowers because you didn't want your mother to be asking if Yeonjun gave you those and then ask a string of questions relating to your relationship and the boy, which makes her sound like she was more curious about your relationship with him than her own daughter’s wellbeing. All in all, you still hope he tries again, but with a better approach and at a better timing. 
The fifth and last time. It was unexpected and accidental. The both of you didn’t watch where you were walking towards, and bumped shoulders hard enough to receive pain from it. After realising it was you who he bumped into, he told his friends to go without him, and you said the same to your own group. The conversation began, and from there it travelled back to the present. 
 is this perhaps the better approach at a better timing? 
Your cigarette stick was slowly becoming shorter, so was his. Silence that was so uncomfortable fell in between the two of you.
“...I see you’re still wearing my hoodie. Does it still smell like me?” 
Ah, right. You forgot about what you were wearing till he mentioned it. The grey oversized hoodie that he loved so much, he decided to give it to you before things got hectic, knowing you will miss him a hell lot when you two got very busy. You have been wearing it out of habit actually, but you didn’t really care because all hope was lost, so it was about time you lost his scent and made it yours. 
“No, it smells like cigarettes now.” 
“Hey, it was my favourite hoodie though! Should I bring back my scent that you love so much-”
“Stop, I don’t want to. I wear it out of habit. And for smoking.” 
Yeonjun slowly retracted back his arms that were almost hugging your figure, wanting to hold you again once more, after the drought of not hugging someone that is as precious and adorable as you. He understood that you needed space, but that sentence did break his heart even more. 
“...I’ll hear you out again once more. Properly. And I'll think about it this time," you mentioned your final choice to listen to his reasonings and explanations behind his never-ending fight to win you back.
In that split second his heart was mended instantly, and his lips stretched into a small smile, happy that the boy had finally gotten a small victory. He turned his whole body to you, and began speaking his truth. 
“I admit I was at fault, the one who started the fight and initiated the break up. I know I messed up, big time. I won’t even blame the dance competition, or Soobin. Just myself. I was stupid enough to make that move out of the blue, especially when you were stressed about your presentations. I am terribly sorry for what I have done, and I promise you that when we have arguments again, I will never, ever do that again. You have been the best I ever had in my life, and I don’t want to be with anyone else, just you. I want to settle down with you and only you! I even thought about how many kids we should have and what kind of house we should-” 
“Woah damn. Slow down? How did an apology get to a proposal?” 
You giggled at his speech that sounded like he was going to get down on one knee to propose to you. He reacted the same as well, but for a different reason, when he saw you finally smiling because of him. 
“Okay okay. Take your time though, I can wait all day for your response.” 
“Really? Okay, I can go back to class and get back to you tonight then?” You joked, trying to get up from your spot while he tried to pull you back down. “Hey no i didn’t mean that!” 
“I’m just joking, jjunie."
His heart fluttered at the mention of the nickname, that was specially made by you. No one else can call him that.
You decided to respond after sighing. 
“Honestly? I feel the same. I too feel incomplete without you. Ever since we broke up, I couldn’t move on, and it felt wrong to do so. It was as if the universe didn’t allow me to. Do I resent you for that? Yes. Are you at fault? Obviously. But one thing I know for sure, that you regret it. From constantly begging me, to sending me letters and flowers, it was stupid, but it kind of reassured me to know that I wasn’t feeling stupid, alone.” 
You looked at him after speaking, and he has been staring at you with glossy eyes, arms wrapped around his knees. You smiled genuinely towards him. 
“My mother still asks about you too, you know? Asking when you are coming back to visit her again,” 
With that sentence, tears fell from his eyes, he didn’t even put in the effort to wipe it off. His smile became crooked as his sobbing became harder. You felt bad, you hate to see your favourite person cry. You gave in, and gave Yeonjun a comforting hug, wrapping your warm arms around him, cooing and patting him like a little child. 
“I’m sorry… I really am.” 
“It’s okay. Me too.” 
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tortillamastersblog · 25 days
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♕ No Matter What - Part 9 | Lena Luthor ♕
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Pairing: Lena Luthor x reader
Warnings: none
Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist
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The anniversary of Noah’s death came and went by rather quickly, leaving me empty and numb for the past couple of days. I haven’t returned any of my mom’s calls or messages, and I have yet to call Heather. However, staying true to the promise I made to Sam, I haven’t given up on Lena yet.
Things haven’t exactly been back to the way it was before, but we’ve fallen back into our routine of polite small talk. I’ve also noticed that more often than not now, Lena finds an extra Pain au chocolat at the bottom of her brown paper bag when she orders breakfast. It makes me smile and knowing that she’s putting in the effort to make things right has made it difficult for me to stay mad at her.
A pointed look in my direction makes me snap out of my daydream and when I look up, I find that it’s Sam who’s staring at me.
I raise an eyebrow in question only for her to nod her head in the direction of the bathrooms where I can make out Lena’s retreating figure.
Oh, that’s my cue!
I spring into action and follow Lena, leaving the private dinner room filled with L-Corp executives.
When I catch up to her, she whips around with tense shoulders, only to relax when she realizes it’s me.
We’ve been at this high end restaurant for a while now and it was only a matter of time before Lena excused herself to go to the bathroom.
I have been standing guard with all the other bodyguards all night and with every passing minute I could see Lena grow more and more uncomfortable.
“Is everything okay, Ms. Luthor?” I ask when she makes no move to actually go into the bathroom.
Lena shakes her head and runs a hand through her hair. “I just— I need a break for a second.”
I frown at how stressed she seems to be and, without thinking, offer her my arm. “Come with me. . .”
She hesitates for a moment, uncertainty written all over her face, but when I offer an encouraging smile, she gives in and takes hold of my arm.
I lead her past the bathroom and past the kitchen, making sure no one notices us until I push through a door that leads to a small balcony overlooking the city.
Lena’s eyebrows shoot up and her grip on my arm tightens at the beautiful view. “How did you know about this place?”
I chuckle and admire her side profile while her eyes stay on the sparkling city. “I saw some of the kitchen staff having a smoke out here earlier when we arrived.”
She hums in acknowledgment before a comforting silence washes over us.
It’s peaceful up here and I can tell Lena thinks so too because she relaxes against my side, the stress slowly but surely dissipating.
I’m acutely aware of where she’s touching me and I try not to swoon every time a breeze carries her perfume in my direction.
The city lights are reflected in here eyes like a million little stars and for a second I can’t help but just stare.
It doesn’t go unnoticed though because a couple moments later, Lena’s eyes find mine and I quickly look at my feet to hide the blush that creeps up my neck.
A soft laugh makes me look up again and I find Lena looking at me with an adorable smile. “Smooth,” she teases in a low voice and my stomach fills with butterflies.
I choke and rub the back of my head with my free hand. “It seems like you’re feeling better, Ms. Luthor,” I try to tease back, but Lena’s face falls and her eyes drop to where she’s still holding onto my arm.
I’m about to ask what I did wrong when she beats me to it. “I hate it when you call me that,” she says, bitterness seeping into her voice.
Oh.
“I-I’m sorry,” I stutter, but Lena just shakes her head.
“Don’t be,” she mumbles. “I’m the one who messed up.”
And just like that, I’m no longer mad at her. How can I be? She feels horrible about what happened and it hurts seeing her this upset. It’s like a dagger to my stomach, and I feel guilty for holding a grudge this long.
“Ms. Lu— Lena,” I start and Lena’s eyes snap back up to meet mine. “It’s alright.”
She shakes her head, ready to interject but this time I beat her to it. “No, please. It’s okay. I’m sorry for staying mad this long. You didn’t know and I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”
Lena lets out a shaky breath and blinks back a couple of tears. Then, without warning, she throws her arms around my neck and pulls me into a bone-crushing hug.
I huff in surprise, but return the embrace, shivering when she presses her nose against the side of my neck and inhales deeply.
“Still, I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry,” she whispere and I just hold her tighter.
I could stay like this all night, but all good things must come to an end and unfortunately my phone ringing in my pocket is what ultimately forces us apart.
I take it out of my pocket, feeling hot all over when Lena’s hands slip inside my open jacket and around my back. She’s obviously not ready to let go completely just yet, but I’m not complaining.
I look at my phone and frown when I see an unknown number. I glance at Lena for a moment, but she’s lost in her own world, her eyes back on the city.
I sigh and accept the call, raising the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Good evening, is this Y/N L/N?” A man asks and his voice sounds vaguely familiar.
“I— Yes, that’s me,” I reply a little unsure where this is going.
Lena absentmindedly stars tracing small patterns on my back and I have to force myself to stay focused on the call.
“Good. I’m Neil, head of security at L-Corp and I’m calling to inform you that Ms. Luthor’s apartment has just been broken into.”
I freeze and tighten the grip on my phone. Lena notices and looks at me with concerned eyes.
I lift up a finger to signal that I’ll tell her what’s going on in a second before replying to Neil. “Okay, so what am I supposed to do now? Has the police already been informed?”
“Yes, the police had already been informed. They can’t find anything amiss at the scene, but I suggest you make sure Ms. Luthor has somewhere to stay for a couple of days. At least until we can find out how the security measures we have in place were bypassed by whoever did this.”
The first thing that comes to mind is a hotel, but the thought of Lena having to stay in a hotel room, alone, makes me dismiss that thought almost instantly.
“Okay. Thank you, Neil. Call me as soon as you know more,” I say and he says he will before hanging up.
The name Neil must have tipped Lena off because when I look down I see the worry swimming in her eyes.
“What’s going on?” she asks quietly and I sigh before telling her what happened.
She goes rigid in my arms and stops tracing shapes on my back. “Lex. . .” Is all she whispers with glossy eyes and I clench my jaw.
Of course it was him. Who else would have the means to do something like this?
Lena’s breathing picks up and she starts to pull away, but before she can get out of reach I sling my arms around her shoulders and pull her against me.
Her uneven breaths hit the skin of my neck and the panic she’s exuding makes my insides clench. “Hey, hey, hey. Nothing is going to happen to you. I told you that before, haven’t I? I promised, remember?” I say quickly and when there’s no reply I add, “You can stay with me, if it makes you feel safer.”
Still, no reply.
Shit, maybe I overstepped?
“Or, you know, you could stay at Sam’s, or Kara’s, or maybe even Jam—“
Lena cuts me off with a shaky sigh and a whispered, “No, I want to stay with you.”
I’m admittedly a little stunned by that admission. “O-okay.”
Lena clings to me and I have to fight the urge to press a kiss to her forehead.
A crash from inside the kitchen makes us flinch and we pull apart with a sigh. I duck down to catch Lena’s eye. “We should probably head back inside.”
She grimaces and nods before squaring her shoulders and taking a deep, resolute breath. I smile softly and offer her my arm again as we make our way back inside.
She takes it gratefully and when she returns to her seat next to Sam, Sam ducks her head gratefully as if to say thank you for taking care of her.
The ride back to my place is kind of awkward. Neither Lena or I say something about the situation at hand and Alfred, as always, also stays quiet.
Lena tips him when we finally get to my apartment building on the other side of the city and he wishes us a good night before driving off.
Lena looks around nervously as if Lex is about to jump out of the shadows, so I quickly guide her inside and up to my apartment.
I pull out my keys and pray that I didn’t leave a complete mess when I left for work this morning.
I wasn’t exactly expecting any guests, much less Lena, so a wave of relief washes over me when we step inside and I see that it’s pretty clean.
The throw blanket on the sofa isn’t folded and there are a few dishes in the kitchen that are leftover from breakfast, but other than that it’s fine.
Lena looks around with intrigue, her eyes darting over the various pictures on the walls before she takes off her coat and hangs it next to mine by the door.
She goes to crouch down to undo the straps of her heels, but I’m quicker.
I instinctively drop to my knees and hold out a hand for her leg. “Let me.”
Her eyes widen and so do mine when I realize what I’ve just done but there’s no turning back now.
A tinge of red makes it’s way to Lena’s ears and she looks away as she lifts her leg slightly and I reach for her calf. Her skin is hot beneath my fingers and I keep my eyes trained on my task of unfastening the strap around her ankle, afraid of what I might see when I look up.
I can feel her eyes on me and when I reach for her other leg, she places a hand on my shoulder to keep her balance.
“There you go,” I say quietly as I get back up, the heels now neatly placed next to my own shoes.
Lena’s eyes are soft and sparkling in the low light and I freeze when she leans forward to press a kiss to my cheek.
“Thank you,” she whispers and all I can do without making a fool of myself is nod in acknowledgment.
I step back and rub the back of my neck before gesturing around. “Uh— Make yourself at home, please. I’ll get you some clothes and change the bedsheets for you.“
We didn’t go to Lena’s apartment just yet to grab some of her stuff because the police is still there investigating, so my clothes will have to do for the night.
“Thank you,” Lena says, stepping further into the apartment. “But I’ll take the couch. This is your place, I’m not going to kick you out of your own bed.”
I scoff and enter my bedroom, pulling a hoodie and some sweatpants from a drawer. “No, no. You’re a guest, so you get the bed. My back is already messed up.”
I go back to the living room and hand the stack of clothes to Lena who takes them with a timid smile. “Fine. I’ll take the bed tonight. But it’s your turn tomorrow.”
The thought of her being here tomorrow as well makes my stomach flutter.
“We’ll see about that,” I tease before adding a little more seriously, “There’s a new toothbrush in the cupboard under the sink and you can change in the bedroom or bathroom. I’ll be out here and get the couch ready.”
Lena rolls her eyes playfully and brushes past me with another soft thank you which makes my heart flutter.
I go to the kitchen to distract myself and fill the kettle with water before turning it on. I grab two mugs from a cupboard and place a tea bag in each of them.
By then the water is boiling and I grab the kettle to fill the mugs.
“Y/N?”
Lena’s soft voice from my bedroom makes me look up and put the kettle down.
“Yes?” I ask, wiping my hands on a towel.
“Can you come here for a moment?”
I swallow nervously and approach the bedroom, making sure to knock on the door that stands ajar before entering.
“Yes, come in,” Lena mumbles and when I step inside I find her standing with her back facing me. Her hair is pulled to the side and she’s looking over her shoulder. “Could you maybe help me with the zipper of my dress? I think it got stuck.”
Oh my God. . . The things this woman does to me.
I clear my throat and nod. “Y-yeah, sure.”
I step forward and reach for the zipper, feeling the sudden tension in the air
It takes a couple of tries to get the zipper loose, but once I do, I slowly push it down, letting my knuckles brush against Lena’s back.
She gasps, but it’s so quiet it’s barely audible. I hear it though and once again a shiver runs down my spine.
I step back and avoid Lena’s eyes when she turns around, using one hand to keep her dress from falling off.
She doesn’t say anything and for a moment neither do I, but then the tension gets too much to bear and I whisper, “If you need anything else, I’ll be in the kitchen,” before leaving the room.
________________________________________________
Tag list: @nuianced-tck-enby @autorasexy @unexpected-character
PSA for everyone who wants to be tagged: Please make sure your blog isn’t hidden because if it is I can’t tag you. . .
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deathbxnny · 1 year
Note
So we basically know from the game lore that jingyuan, blade and dan heng are like, ancient asf so what about how they'd be with an s/o, crush, love interest whatever who's the reincarnation of their past lover? Like the s/o doesn't remember them or their past lives but is still friendly and nice just confused on why this guy is pining after them lol how'd they go about wining them over?
-----♡
A/N: Hello! Thank you so much for the beautiful request! I absolutely love this idea!<33
Content: Fluff, mutual pinning(kinda), reincarnation troupe, a tiny bit of angst, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!
((Not fully proofread!))
-----♡
》Jing Yuan
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Is very upfront with his emotions, when courting you. He knows what you like and what to do to make you like him, so he'll definitely have you again in no time. With that said, he was delighted to see you again after so long. Ofcourse, he feels a pinch of sadness in his heart, yet quickly replaces it with the excitement of potentially making new memories with you in this lifetime again.
You're a little hesitant at first though, as you're a little baffled as to why such an important man like him was interested in you. But you still were intrigued by him and decided to give him a chance, which he knew you would. You were never able to resist his charms after all.
Will absolutely spoil you with everything he has. You can as much as glance at something and suddenly have it delivered to your door the next day by your dear General. He also takes you on luxurious outings, smiling in delight when he sees you smile and enjoy yourself.
He's just glad to spend time with you again and vows to protect you with his life once more, when you two finally get together.
-----♡
》Blade
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He was honestly close to not approaching you, thinking he didn't deserve you anymore after what he had become. Yet he couldn't help himself, when you bumped into him and gave him the beautiful smile he missed more than anything in this world.
He'll be more slow with his approach, worried that he might intimidate or scare you off, if he's too fast or passionate. Will give you simple, yet meaningful gifts that he knows you'll like. It warms his heart to see you get so excited and happy about them too, even if they aren't anything special.
He takes you out on simple dates, always making sure you're okay with everything he does with you and that you'll have a great and fun time. Seeing you so calm and happy with him around heals a part of his broken soul. You always had that effect on him.
Is grateful to be your lover once more when the time comes and makes sure you know that. Spending time with you again is worth all the pain he suffered through and he'll value it for as long as it lasts.
-----♡
》Dan Heng
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He was so surprised and even taken aback, when he saw you again. He was also hesitant to approach you, as you belonged to a past he wanted to forget. And yet, he couldn't stop his endless feelings returning for you. Therefore he decided to pursue you again and makes things right this time.
He takes his time with you, making sure you have feelings for him too, before he says anything about his. He always seeks you out during missions or breaks, always keeping you close one way or another.
He gifts you things he knew you would like, telling you that they reminded him of you. Watching your eyes light up and your face flush at his heartfelt words made it all so worth it.
Is so thankful, when you agree to be his lover once more. He holds you close, his heart thumping with excitement as he gives you a rare smile. He's glad, to have a chance at a better future with you now.
-----♡
A/N: Thank you again for this cute idea! I hope, it was okay!<3
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mika-no-sekai-blog · 4 months
Text
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Word count: 1300+
Warnings: none I think, but let me know if there's something that should be listed
Part VIII | Part X
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Rhysand wasn't particularly proud of himself and the way he appeared in front of his long lost sister and fetched her home, but rage blinded any common sense he had. Instead the instincts took over commanding him to protect. And so he did.
As soon as the decorated sitting room of his house appeared and his whole family stood up to welcome them, he felt better. A piece of his shattered heart healed and part of the weight on his shoulders fell off. However his relieve was short lived.
Still in his arms, Y/N took a fast look around, her eyes wide and full of fear, lips pressed together. A howl of agony left her as she bent over in waist. Her hands shot up and clenched into fists on her chest and with a sharp cry of pure pain she began falling.
Rhysand was shocked. So shocked he couldn't react nor breathe. He knew he had to do something, to catch her before she could hurt herself, but his body wouldn't move. Seconds stretched into minutes and he in horror watched it in a slow motion.
It was Azriel who moved forward, faster than anyone else, and caught her before she could hit her head. He cradled her against his broad chest and held her firmly as she trashed in pain, screaming, her eyes rolling back.
Mor, Amren and Cassian were there in a blink of eye, trying to help as much as they could.
"Rhysand," Azriel groaned through gritted teeth. Even though he was strong, he had trouble keeping her on place. "Do something! Help her!"
Rhysand inhaled sharply and forced his body to move. He squatted down, eyes scanning Y/N's body, looking for cause. He lost her once, he wouldn't allow it again.
Amren was holding his sister's hand, eyes gleaming in a dim light. She examined Y/N with remains of her powers. "She is under a strong binding spell. We don't have much time. It's killing her."
"Get out of my way," Rhysand barked and they immediately backed, making him enough space. He bent over Y/N trashing in Azriel's embrace. He squeezed her hand and put other hand on her forehead. His powers raised up as a wave around her petite body, searching and breaking whatever didn't belong there.
"I bet they didn't want her to leave that place," Amren murmured, watching them closely with narrowed eyes.
Y/N cried out one more time and her head fell to the side, body went limp. Everybody in the room tensed, eyes wide. Azriel's fingers immediately found her pulse point. Exhaling shakily he nodded. She was alive.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'm going to kill that bastard," Cassian growled.
"Yeah, sure, dear. Go and sneeze him to death," More snorted, her trembling fingers played with strands of blonde hair. She was furious, too.
"I strongly doubt Tamlin knew who she is or anything about this," Lucien said coolly. All eyes turned to him. He stood behind them, arms crossed on his chest, brows furrowed.
"He certainly-," Cassian started, but Lucien stopped him.
"Think whatever you want, but Tamlin is nothing like his father or brothers. I spent decades with him, so I dare to say I know him better than anyone in this room. He cares about people whether they belong to Spring Court or no."
Feyre nodded in agreement.
"If he knew about her, he would provide her with much better accommodation and care, and he would see to it that she returned to her family as soon as possible," Lucien said firmly, gazing straight into Rhysand's eyes.
Rhysand looked back at him, jaw tightening, but he said nothing. After few moments he gently picked Y/N up in his arms.
"No one kills anyone. Rather bring Madja," he said calmly, taking his sister upstairs.
His family prepared a bedroom for her while he was gone. Placing Y/N on the bed with fresh smelling sheets, he wrapped blanket around her and holding her hand sat down next to her. He sighed heavily, watching her chest rising with shallow breaths.
Feyre silently came in and wrapped arms around his shoulders. Rhys gratefully leaned into the touch, his eyes never leaving unconscious female.
"I fucked it," he confessed quietly. "I should have been more careful.. I should have checked if there isn't anything holding her there. She was trying to say something to that bastard when I winnowed us.. I should have heard her out.. I almost got her killed." Rhys ran fingers through his dark silky hair and let out another heavy sigh.
"You couldn't have known they cast a spell on her. Thankfully you broke it in time. She will be okay," she whispered to him placing a kiss on his forehead.
"I know," he whispered back. "It's just.. For centuries I thought she was dead.. It's hard to believe she is really here.."
"Now she is back home. Safe. Once she wakes up everything will be alright."
"I hope so, but I feel like it isn't over yet. I thought that she would be happy to see me.. that she would run to me with big smile as she used to, but instead.. she looked at me as if I was a complete stranger to her. If only I knew what happened that night," he breathed out shakily, resting his head on Feyre's shoulder.
Feyre was about to say something when Azriel appeared in the middle of the room with the old healer. Rhysand stood up making a space for her and Madja immediately went to work. She carefully examined young female on the bed while Rhysand squeezing Feyre's hand and Azriel watched her, waiting for the results.
"There's no injury I could treat. She is perfectly fine," Madja said when she finished. "I believe she just needs good rest. She may be confused when she wakes up, so take it slowly and try to not overwhelm her."
There was something in her expression that made Rhysand frown with worry. "Anything else?" he asked.
"Well," Madja looked at him. "I tried to examine her head. There is kind of barrier that won't let me in. However I found traces of quite an old trauma. It has no impact on her current health, but it may be affecting her memory. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it. It's too old injury that was already treated. And as for the memory, I believe this is more your field of expertise, High Lord, isn't it."
She handed him small pouch of herbs. "When she will be stressed, make her this tea," she said and left. Feyre followed her, giving him a tight smile.
Azriel stood there, gazing at sleeping female. "It's really her, isn't it," he murmured. His face was as usually emotionless, but Rhys knew him too well. He noticed a thin layer of silver in Shadowsinger's eyes. One corner of his lips lifted up in tight, but amused smirk.
"You still love her." It wasn't question, but Azriel nodded anyway.
"Never stopped," he admitted quietly. "I couldn't forget her even thought she was gone. Seeing her now.." He slowly shook head, his eyes searching her pale face. "It's like a dream. I had to pinch myself to be sure I'm awake."
"I can't believe it myself, too," Rhysand said. "But there's no doubt. She is my sister. Never forget it." He arched an eyebrow on his brother.
"How could I," Azriel snorted, corners of his lips lifted into a smile. "You've never missed a chance to remind me about it. And just as I've already told you so many times before: I'd rather die than to hurt her."
"You better to keep it in your mind. She just returned to me. I won't let her go again easily," Rhysand said half jokingly.
"Don't worry, I won't forget."
They stood there in silence, watching sleeping Y/N for the rest of the night.
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Taglist:
@impossibelle @sevikas-whore @b0xerdancer @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @tele86
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lvlyghost · 7 months
Text
In the Midst of War: IV
PAIRINGS: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Shadow!Reader
SUMMARY: Home is no longer where it used to be. Left with no one else you wonder who your friends and foes are.
WORD COUNT: 2.3k
TW: poorly written action lol. Fluff, hurt with so much comfort 🤭. Suggestive but no smut yet🌝. Mind the english!🐸 lmk if i missed any.
A/N: okay so this was supposed to be longer but decided to split the last part for chapter v 🐣 it'll be worth it i promise. next part is coming up sooner! as you know i do a lot of double shifts at work and December is the busiest season for me at work lol, just bear with me💖 comments, likes and reblogs are highly appreciated 🩵
Masterlist✨
"𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒅."
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It's a cold night by the time you get to the safe house in a secluded street somewhere outside Kaindorf. Ghost grunts standing next to you, one of his arms draped over your shoulders to help him keep steady or at least as much as you can help with someone his size. The mission —your first mission since Las Almas— had been successful until it wasn't. You type the code and wait until the door opens with a mechanic sound revealing a not so bad interior. The whole place is silent when you walk in, mirroring the dead of the night. No sound of cars outside not even the sound of the wind to accompany you.
"How are you doing Ghost?" You turn your face to him, he's already staring down at you, noticing the struggle that comes with trying to hold part of his weight. This is not how things should've played out. Yet there he was. A nasty bullet wound on his left shoulder and another to his leg; the latter being just a graze but still hurt like hell.
"Never been better." He growls. And you know he's trying to act nonchalantly. That's just who he is. Who you've come to know. But his injury, especially the one on his shoulder is no joke. You had tried to stop the bleeding right before digging for the bullet. The amount of pain he must've been in was as bad as yours a few weeks ago "How did we miss them?" He mutters under his breath, no doubt recalling the events.
"I don't know. But we'll find out." You lead him to the nearest couch in the corner of the living room and turning on the lamp next to him. Ghost sits down struggling to find a position where he feels comfortable enough. "Alright..." swallowing down you look him in the eyes. "I need to check your wounds again and clean them up properly, okay?"Ghost closes his eyes for a second before nodding, he's too lightheaded to do anything else or maybe it was the morphine you gave him before, he doesn't know anymore.
Trotting back to the truck you unload the duffel bags where all your weapons and medical supplies lie. Closing the door shut and locking it before returning to where the Lieutenant rests. The lamp is turned off again so you can only make the outline of everything. You stop in your tracks dropping one of the bags and shuffle nervously.
"Umm, Ghost?" He hums in acknowledgment. "I can't see anything, do you mind turning...-"
"No." His response comes fast. "I'm not wearing the bloody mask."
So he had taken it off the moment you walked out.
"Then how am I supposed to look at your wounds?" Rolling your eyes you start approaching.
He growls something unintelligible and then adds:
"Fine just don't bloody look up or...-"
"Don't worry, I've no interest in looking at your face."
But the truth was that you wanted nothing more than to see him. The real him. You had dreamed about his face. What would he look like? The small parts of Ghost that you had taken a glimpse of were not enough to make you any less curious. For all you knew was that he most likely was blond. His eyelashes are so light that you wonder if his hair is the same shade. He has soft pink lips and a strong jaw. All of him was huge. Massive. You would never say it out loud but you felt drawn to him.
"Afraid you might like what you see?"
You snort, walking towards him and kneeling in front of the couch he's sitting on. His eyes follow every move you make, never looking up in the process. You slowly peel off the bandages you had previously wrapped around his right leg.
"Does it hurt?" You ask, taking the disinfectant out as you begin to clean up his wound again.
"Not that one." For a moment you almost forget that you're not supposed to look up, but you do. You were trying to take a quick glance to his shoulder, instead laying eyes on his face.
"Shit." You bow your head down as quickly, apologizing profusely to Ghost and expecting some sort of angry reaction from him but he remains in complete silent. "I- I didn't even really see anything, forgive me Sir."
"Fucking hell." He growled. "It doesn't matter. Just don't do it again."
It was true. You barely even saw the entirety of his face. Just pale skin, light brows and a crooked nose from being broken too many times.
"Okay." You swallow hard, hands slightly shaking when your skin makes contact with his much colder one.
Ghost shifts in his seat seemingly uncomfortable with something you can't put a finger on. "Think it's time to stitch that one up." You gesture to where his shoulder should be not daring to look again. Fumbling with the needle and thread waiting for his permission. There's no verbal answer to your previous statement, only a low hum that's enough for you to stand up and silently sit on the armrest next to him, his face is turned the other way hiding himself from you. "You know you can just put it back on?"
"Where's the fun in that?"
"Yeah, right." brows lifting in surprise. "Want me to get you something for the pain?"
"Get it done, kid."
Breathing deeply you oblige.
Ghost's whole body tenses with the first sting of the needle piercing through his skin. Your eyes are fixated on your work but every now and then they travel to the back of his head. Blond hair. So you were right; and you can't fight back the grin that appears on your lips. You're marveled by something so simple as that; if only he'd let you come closer...
"I think it's my turn to cook something for you. All this time you've taken care of me."
"You don't have to. I was doing what I was told."
Blinking you tap his shoulder lightly to get his attention. Ghost merely turns so a small part of his side face shows, still not enough for you to see.
"I want to." Even if he says it was his job. Even if it didn't mean anything to him. All you needed was a way to thank him for what he had done. That was who you were. How you were taught to be. Grateful amongst adversity. "I'm a good cook I promise."
One last stitch. One more. And then you're done, and his body relaxes as you come to stand gathering the medical supplies while looking down the floor. Before you leave he reaches out, grabbing your wrist in a gentle yet firm grip. Eyes going wide.
"You can look now." His voice is low and when you turn he's put the balaclava back on. Big brown eyes staring with intensity. "Thanks for what you did back there."
You stutter when you speak, something about the way he holds you makes you forget how to form words.
"I had to. It was my job, although I failed..."
"You didn't fail." He growls. You motion at his wounds, embarrassed because you knew you could do better than that. "I'm here, aren't I?"
Your mouth hangs open, lips quivering when his words reach your ears. All this time you've tried to look calm. To appear strong when in reality everything has gone from bad to worse; it began with the loss of your former team and the people you held close and dear. People you thought would be there for you for eternity. And then all of the sudden there were none. Alone in a dirty side road to die, you guess that in the end there were no good people. Just soldiers following orders. But standing in front of a man who was always portrayed as the devil himself maybe... just maybe not all hope was lost. And not all people were bad. Much to your dismay, Ghost stands from his place on the old couch, rising in all his massive glory as he takes one firm step closer to you. Your hands threaten to let everything fall onto the floor, breath getting stuck in your throat. You're lucky. So, so goddamn lucky that he's your ally. Someone who, in these past weeks has become something you don't dare to name.
"At ease soldier." He commands in a hushed voice. And he's close. Too damn close you feel the heat radiate off of him. It makes your skin burn and hands sweat. "I'm just looking at you."
-
Ghost is terrifying when you look at him in full gear. The white skull mask a legend itself among all the military forces in the world. Hushed stories told during late nights back on base. You had never met him nor had the chance to work with him. All you knew was that. Never in a million years would you have thought you'd have to be his eyes from the distance; to be the one who guards him. Your finger caresses the trigger of your sniper rifle, ready to shoot at anyone who you deemed dangerous.
"Should've brought my own mattress." You huff, shifting your body to find a more comfortable position.
"You've been out for a few weeks. It can't be that bad." His deep voice talks right into your ear.
"My stomach was literally reattached, Lt."
A deep chuckle that doesn't last long enough can be heard.
"If you can't do it let me know. I can take you back to your room, yeah?"
"I'm having a hard time deciding if that's a good or bad thing, sir."
"The latter, Vesper."
Laughing you turn your head, maybe it's the paranoia of being back but you feel someone constantly watching you from behind.
"How's that a bad thing? Thought you liked me in my room."
You can practically hear him suck in a breath and then a muttered curse.
"Not when you're injured and nearly comatose." He grunts after a few seconds of silence.
Oh.
Oh.
"Well then's a good thing i'm here."
The mission was rather simple. Break in, gather some intel and get out. Nothing was supposed to go sideways but it did. It had started with the room where the intel was supposed to be.
"Vesper." You hear Ghost calling you. "There's civilians in here." His voice drops an octave.
"What?" A shiver runs down your spine. "They are not supposed to be there." All you hear is the sound of muffled voices. Cries for help. Ghost swearing under his breath. And then shots are fired.
Your heart races when the first couple of hostiles appear through your scope. Not being one to hesitate you aim to their heads and fire.
"Vesper sitrep." Ghost barks, his end way more chaotic than yours.
"Hostiles coming in groups. You need to get out of there asap."
"Bloody hell." It's all he says before another round of shots is fired. "Meet me at the evac point."
"I'm not leaving you behind!"
Shifting your scope to look through one of the windows you watch as a dark figure runs downstairs. Ghost is trying to make his way to the back exit when another group reaches the abandoned building. You effectively take out the first three men that jump out of the black van. Then another ominous creak of crunching leaves in the god forsaken roof of the house across, rolling on your back your turn at the exact moment a bullet is fired your way, and hitting the the ground where you previously laid prone.
Wide-eyed your face pales as recognition hits your features.
You know him. And he knows you too.
-
His big hand lifts slowly as if asking permission to touch you to which you give a small nod. Ghost is looking at a spot on your left cheek his thumb softly caressing the soft skin of your face. You don't know why but you find yourself leaning into his touch.
"How'd you get this?" An unknown look is all you give him. "There's a scratch, right 'ere." Careful not to hurt you or cause you any pain he keeps his motion.
"Must've been when we ran through the woods." You mumble. "I'm sure I didn't let any of them get me."
"Atta girl." A small pause settles when all you hear is the sound of the night outside. Crickets and the now casual passing of cars far in the distance, returning from work, oblivious to the dangers of the world. Some things they'd never heard of before, things they wouldn't witness in their lifetime. "Better me than you."
You melt at his words. Heart nearly beating out of your chest. It's like your body acts out of pure impulse. Hands —your hands— grab the sides of his neck pulling him down just enough that his forehead touches yours, and you rest there with ragged breathing fanning over his face. Closing your eyes you weigh in your options. Break the moment and tell him about the encounter with the man back in the roof, or let yourself feel him? Because truth be told this could only mean one thing. Ghost wanted to be near you in ways that were not professional at all. And hell you wanted that too from the moment you saw him. You just didn't know it.
If the things you heard were true he didn't let just anyone close to him. What was so special about you? You wanted to ask, but you feared that even if you moved, this thing would be broken and the moment would slip through your fingers.
In a quick movement you go from standing in the middle of the living room to sitting on the nearest table, you shriek as Ghost slots himself between your legs. Seemingly unfazed by what he just did you then see the corner of his eyes crinkle. He's smiling under the mask.
"You're hurt. You'll reopen the wound and..."
"I don't care, sweetheart. I've got you where I want you." A sheepish smile forms on your lips and your cheeks grow hot. "One word. Say it and I will stop."
You nod right before he lifted his mask and his lips crash down on you.
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Part 5
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TAGS:
@fictionallifestuff
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pit-and-the-pen · 1 month
Text
I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 4
A/n: So I’m pivoting a little bit with this series. In the last chapter, I had reader with Rhys a lot and I’m fighting the urge to rewrite it, but from here on out it’s going to be a lot more of the inner circle stuff while Rhys and Feyre are doing their own thing. I didn’t like how much  I relied on the dialogue straight from the book for chapter 3 so hopefully this makes it a little better to write and more interesting to read! 
Strap in because a lot happens in this chapter. Also this is mostly unedited because my brain in soup at this point.
Warnings: Cannon level description of violence, blood, brief mention of trauma (Rhys and Readers history with Tamlin), suggestive thoughts/language (as always let me know if I missed anything)
WC:19k
Previous chapters: [prologue] [chapter 1][chapter 2][chapter 3]
NExt chapter [Here]
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“I don’t get why I wasn’t invited.” Cassian whined, leaning back in the wide backed chair. I knocked his feet from their place on the coffee table and he stumbled as the legs of the chair touched the ground.
“Because last time you were there you fucked someone’s wife and destroyed their house in your attempt to get away.” 
“In my defense, she didn’t tell me she was married.” He grumbled out, crossing his arms like the petulant child he was. 
“Try telling that to her husband.” I continued to tease him. 
“I did.” 
“Children, children.” Mor chided Cassian and I. A bored wave of her hand causing Cassian to turn his attention to her instead. I smiled widely as the two of them started going back and forth. 
Eventually Rhys and Azriel came to collect Cassian. 
“Sorry, boys night.” My brother said, shooting me a wink when I tried to argue. “Don’t pout at me.”
“They’re just afraid they’d lose their ass if they let us play.” Mor returned, all of the males sputtering out a chorus of protests. 
True to their word, they didn’t let Mor or myself join them. Going as far as to lock the door to Rhys’ study. Their loud shouts could be heard from where Mor and I sat together down the hall. 
Mor was swiping the second layer of a silver and black sparkle nail polish on my hand. 
“Are you nervous about going to summer?” She asked casually. 
“Hardly.” Even I wasn’t convinced by my words. Mor raised an inquisitive eyebrow at me. “Fine. I’m just worried we won’t get the book. We’ve only tested this theory of Feyre’s powers once and that was Rhys’ magic.”
“You think the bond could let her sense it.” I nodded.
“It’s not impossible. Even if she hasn’t accepted it. She could be inherently drawn to things that have ties to him. I just have to hope my brother is right.” I stopped talking to start blowing my nails dry. Shaking them slightly while I did so. Mor turned to her own nails, brushing a blood red polish over them. 
The summer court was just as beautiful as I remember it. I was immediately greeted by the smell of sea salt, even the sunshine smelt different. The humidity in the air laced it with something I could not put my finger on but warmed every part of my body. My skin felt instantly sticky, suddenly very grateful for the flowing white halter dress I had picked for myself that morning. 
Even though it was early in the morning, the city below the palace was already teeming with life. Merchant carrying various baskets full of goods, ships sailing in and out of the docks. The rope bridges swayed slightly in the breeze as people flurried about. 
We had winnowed right in front of the palace. The purple and green sea glass doors opened at our arrival. It had been at least a century since the last time I visited this place, enough time that I was in awe of the scene in front of me. As much as I loved my home Velaris, there was something about the lightness of this palace that called to me. The full walls of sea glass and shells embedded into the floor, covered with some shiny surface that didn’t make it painful to walk on.Light chiffon fabric  in pastel purples, seafoam green, baby pinks, and, buttery yellows adorned the chairs and curtains. The sun that shone through the glass walls tinted with all the colors around us. I was still gawking when Tarquin approached us. The time since he came back had been kind to him. His dark skin more bronzed and his long white hair was  braided and adorned with various shells, he was heart stoppingly handsome.The power of a high lord circled him, but unlike Rhys, it carried a certain warmth to it. An aura of safety and security. I swore the water flowing from the fountains around us bubbled harder at his arrival. 
“Welcome. I see you like the changes I’ve made” He winked at me, eyes still flickering about. 
“I believe you’ve met before, although not since your…promotion.” Tarquin eyed Amren before he gave her a polite bow. Amren bit back a greeting that reminded me of what others saw us as. Cold and calculating. 
“And you two were never formally introduced under the mountain. Feyre, Tarquin.” Tarquin’s face set into a tight line as his eyes swept over the revealing dress Feyre was wearing. Even more see-through with the sunlight in the room. Rhys let out a lewd comment and Feyre returned her own before I  could even think to grimace. 
Another's presence in the room had me looking over Tarquins shoulder. I tried to keep my face even as I spotted Cresseida. The female and I had grown closer than anyone else in the court during my last visit. She shot me a wicked smile before Tarquin introduced her, a claiming hand resting on her shoulder. My eyebrow raised to her and she shrugged her shoulders. A promise of explaining later in her dark brown eyes. Varian was next to be introduced. As captain of Tarquins guard, I did not fault him for the way he sized all of us up, especially Amren. 
Our group followed Tarquin through the hallways of the palace. Rhys and the High Lord making polite small talk. Cressida and I walked in step together. 
The room Tarquin led us to was just as beautiful as the rest of the palace. High ceilings speckled with those same pastel colors, a wide open window showcasing the vibrant water of the sea, so rich in color it appeared almost teal. Feyre gravitated towards the window, like her feet were working on their own. The Summer High Lord approached her side and I tried to keep up with their hushed conversation. Rhys took a seat at the table in the middle of the room and motioned for me to do the same. Rolling my eyes as the others approached, I grabbed Cressida’s arm and led her to a set of couches a bit away from the others. “We’ll leave all the important talk to the high lords and generals.” I said, sinking into that vapid facade I carried when I wasn’t expected to be Rhys’ terrifying counterpart. He gave me a bored look of dismissal. 
“You must tell me everything.” I nearly squealed at Cressida, loud enough for the others to hear. 
“There isn’t much to tell, Tarquin is adjusting to being High Lord quite well. However, suddenly it was…He’s a good change from before.” So not interested in her advances then. Her eyes flickered over to the table where the rest sat. 
“Are you not in contact with Tamlin then, Feyre?” The question was laced with challenge and accusations. The idea that she was in not one but two high lords beds a grave insult. 
“My relationship with the High Lord of spring is none of your concern.” She bit back, the perfect edge of regal and warning in her voice. 
“Good, I’d hate to have to return you to your master.” Even from across the room I saw Amren go deathly still. I gave Cressida a small tap on her shoulder, a playful move that warned her to hold her tongue. She gave me a withering glare as Tarquin reprimanded her for her words. 
She turned back to me, mouth opening to continue our conversation as Rhys spoke. If I hear word that she or anyone else sends news of our being here to Tamlin, your lives will be forfeit. I heard the tone of promise. The air growing deathly still as his words registered to the High Lord.I took a deep sip of my wine as feyre whispered out something that had Tarquin laughing. The room seemed to take a collective sigh at the sound. Tarquin was a good change indeed. Cressida sank back into her chair as she looked me over. 
“You look well.” She said once the conversation in the room resumed. I nodded, setting down my glass on the table beside me.
“Fresh air will do that to a person.” My not so subtle reminder to her that she had not been under the mountain. She gave a small hum. “It seems the court has recovered nicely.”  
It was her turn to grow tense. “It was not without hard work, as I’m sure you can relate to. Having a sudden change in high lord and losing half our population has not made it easy to rebuild, but we’ve managed this far.” She sighed, looking at Tarquin who was now laughing with Rhys. “He has made things easier. Gave my brother and I much more control over the efforts than the previous High lord would have.” I took in her words, the tension in her shoulders and heard the tone of someone who had sacrificed a great deal for her court. Something I very much understood. I felt shame rise in my throat at my earlier comments. She might not have been under the mountain but she, and many others in Prythian, had suffered just as much because of it. I’d imagine it would be impossible to find someone who was not affected. 
“Enough about me though, tell me how’ve you been?” Her tone switched back to one of light gossip. I took a deep sip of my wine as I gave her a half-true recounting of the last few months. 
Cressida walked me back to my room, pointing out things around the palace while doing so. Explaining the bits of work that were still in planning. She gestured to my room and said her goodbyes, promising to find me at the party tonight. 
I let out a heavy sigh as the door closed behind me. I had forgotten how exhausting court politics was. How heavy the role Rhys and I played was. Instead of lingering on that, I quickly changed into my clothes for tonight. A flowy dress that mimicked the fashion of the court but with Night Court colors. Silvers and midnight blues, silver chains fastening the dress around my neck. I left the tiara I would pin in my hair on the edge of my bed as I walked out onto the balcony attached to my room. I stared out at the crashing waves, sitting in the sound that they brought with them. The tide was coming in stronger now that it was mid-afternoon. On the horizon I saw the colorful sails of merchant and travel ships bobbing on the water. I leaned against the railing, letting myself become almost hypnotized by the motion of the water around me. I don’t know how long I stayed staring out at the water but Rhys knocking at my door told me it had been at least a few hours. Rhys walked up to my side, leaning against the railing. 
“It's definitely a nice view.” He says, snapping me out of my trance. I only nod. 
“I wish we didn't have to do this.” 
“Which part?”
“I don’t know all of it. The sneaking and the games. I just wish it could change.” I said, voice barely above a whisper. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. 
“It will be. Once this war is over. That’s what we're fighting for.” He gave a little squeeze before I sighed heavily. 
“I hope that’s how the others see it.” He nodded and I pulled away from his side. Walking back into the room. I picked up my tiara and slid it into my hair. I adjusted my makeup in the mirror on the vanity.  Looking at Rhys I gave a dramatic twirl. 
“How do I look?” He rolled his eyes at the question.
“Every bit the Night Court princess. Now will you please hurry up, we’re already late enough.” I stuck my tongue out at him as we walked out of the room. 
The ship was beautiful. It could fit double the amount of Fae than it was currently holding. Feyre, Rhys and Amren stayed close together while I mingled amongst those who would actually talk to me. Cressida found me at some point in the night, pushing a glass of wine into my hand. I couldn’t help but notice the similarities between her and Mor. Making me wonder just what sat behind her own mask. We got along fine but years of not speaking had made our friendship dissolve. Rhys made his way over to Cressida and I, giving Feyre space to talk to Tarquin. He tried to play the aloof High Lord but I saw the way his eyes kept floating over to Feyre, the way his shoulders stiffened at every smile Tarquin gave her. Cressida must have sensed the tension too because she leaned across the table to reach for my brother's hand, purposefully leaning over to expose her cleavage to him. I tried not to roll my eyes at her attempt to get his attention. 
He gave her a sleepy smile and pointed to the seat next to him. She gave Feyre a lingering glance before she stood up and all but climbed into his lap. I didn’t hold back my eyeroll this time. She shot me a wide grin. “You don’t mind do you?” She asked in a coy voice. 
“By all means, don’t let me stop you. But you should be asking him.” She pouted at my brother who nodded his head, his hand drifting to the small of her back. I downed the rest of my wine before standing up to get more. I had no interest in seeing him lean down to whisper in his ear. I noticed Feyre spared a glance our way, quickly looking back to Tarquin when she spotted Cressida’s new seat. Before I knew it, Feyre was on her feet. Walking away to a less crowded spot on the ship, leaving a very confused looking Tarquin behind her. Taking the opportunity, I joined him at the table. 
“I hope I didn’t upset her.” He joked when I sat down beside him.
“She can be a little…touchy where my brother is concerned. Pay no mind.” I waved my hand to punctuate my words. Tarquin just took a deep sip of his wine. 
We made light conversation, asking each other about our courts and each only giving as much information as was polite. My eyes tracked Rhys movements as Cressida pulled him from his seat and across the deck of the ship. A deep laugh came from the High Lord’s chest. 
“You’re not interested then?” I pointed my hand at the retreating couple, still holding my wine glass,  Another laugh from Tarquin.
“Mother no, did no one tell you she’s my cousin.” 
“Oh…” He gave me a smirk. 
“And besides,  princess. I am still young and rebuilding my court. All of that,” he waved towards the direction Cressida had pulled my brother, “can wait until after. That doesn’t mean that anyone in my court isn’t free fuck whoever they decide.” I almost shot wine from my nose at how hard I laughed, choosing an inopportune time to take a deep sip from my cup. I sputtered out an  “I’m sorry.” between coughs. He handed me a handkerchief to wipe my mouth. “I truly wasn’t not expecting you to say that. Please don’t think I was laughing at you.” 
“Never.” His voice suddenly became more serious than before. 
“Now what about you? No one has caught your eye?”
“I dare you to try with a brother like mine.” It felt wrong to so crassly talk about Rhys. LIke he was the one stopping me from what I wanted. 
“But there’s someone?” He pried. I shook my head. 
“No one that would see me that way.” It wasn’t a lie by any means. He didn’t have to know exactly why. 
“Do they happen to be blind?” I raised an eyebrow in question. “That would be the only reason I think of for someone not seeing you that way.” I didn’t fake the blush that rose on my cheeks. 
“You flatter me. But no, just… I don’t know.” I said in a tone almost boarding on a whine. He laughed again, a sound I realized I liked. We sat and talked until the sun colored the water a deep purple. I looked out at the view, once again falling into a trance as I stared out at the waves. 
“Shall I walk you back to your room?” Tarquin asked, pulling my eyes back to him. I wanted to say no. But the role I played required I saw yes. So I nodded, letting him guide me by my hand back around the palace. I was nervous as we approached my door, not knowing fully what he expected out of me. Especially not knowing exactly where Cressida had pulled Rhys to. I felt panic starting to rise in my throat until he cleared his throat. 
We were outside my door and the panic I felt must have been written across my face. 
“Don’t look so disappointed. But I was not walking you back for that.” I felt my shoulders relax and a blush settle on the tips of my ears. 
“I’m sor-”
“Don’t be. I like my partners more than willing.Enthusiastic if you will.” I laughed, which made him laugh in return.
“Good night.” I whispered to him
“Good night.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before he turned and walked off down the hallway. 
I had nothing to do until Feyre went to look for the book. And I truly had no desire to sit and gossip with Cressida after the heated looks she had been giving my brother. So I simply stayed in my room, listening to the sounds of the ocean. I tried to think of how much the rest of my family would love it here. How much they had loved it here. I lightly chuckled to myself as I remember Cassian's face as Mor winnowed him out of the court last time we had visited. It took days of debate and many apologies before the previous High Lord rescinded the blood ruby he threatened to send after Cassian.  Mor looked absolutely gorgeous with some sun on her skin, although Azriel held onto it longer much to her chagrin. I curled my knees up to my chest at the thought of Azriel. It felt almost selfish for how little I had thought about him since I’d been here. Regardless of the fact that I had no reason to feel bad, a small twinge of shame pushed its way through me. A hand rising to the center of my chest to massage the discomfort away. 
Rhys didn't come to collect me until dinner. He was curt as he announced that the rest were waiting for me, not waiting for my reply before he was leaving the room again. I rushed after to catch up with him. Feyre must have done her job well if my brother was wound this tight. 
“Anything on your mind, brother?” I asked in a sweet voice, purposefully teasing him.
“Don’t you start with me too.” So Feyre must have already talked to him. Good. Maybe he’ll finally use this to tell the poor girl. “Stop trying to meddle.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“I just want to get this damned book and go back home.”
“I’m sure that’s all there is to it, Rhys.” I patted him on the back and nearly started running down the hall, suddenly very hungry. 
The days passed by slowly. As Rhys’ advisor, I was now expected to attend the various meetings Rhys had with the summer courts own advisors. I wished we could have left Amren out of these meetings, but as his second, she attended every one of them. Her presence set the others on edge, making any and all discussions freeze at random moments because she so much as shifted her body weight. 
It wasn’t until dinner the night after that Feyre almost gave herself away. One too many questions asked about the little temple in the middle of the tide. Tarquin brushed off her questions with ease but I saw the way his eyes lingered on her longer than normal, like he was sizing her up for the first time. If I blinked I would have missed it, that slight fog in his eyes. A fog that only appeared for a moment before sea green eyes were revealed once again. I shot my eyes to Rhys who shook his head. Not him then. Meaning Feyre must have been able to do that. I was both very impressed and oh so horrified. 
“I can carry you both and then keep watch” Rhys layed out the plan. Amren looked over to me. 
“And her?”
“Someone has to keep the High Lord distracted.” I grinned at her
“What a hard job to do.” She bit back at me, baring her teeth at me. I fought back the urge to do the same. 
“It’s a necessary job. Unless you want to risk Tarquin sniffing us out.” She didn’t have a response for him. “Good. Do you think you can do it?” He turned to face me and I nodded. From there we planned the rest of the details. 
The day dragged by. Tarquin, by Feyre’s suggestion, had taken her to the mainland to show her the rest of the court. That left Amren, Rhys and myself free to make some final conversation with the court advisors. Simple things like trade and training of soldiers felt wrong to discuss with a greater war on the horizon, felt too mundane. 
Evening came around eventually. Tarquin all but deposited Feyre into Rhys’ outstretched arms. He gave her a salacious smile that I wasn’t sure was entirely fake. But gave the right impression of just exactly why I was so eager to leave the palace. 
Tarquin and I walked through the city where he took me to a small bistro. The staff all smiled at him as we approached the open air restaurant. It was quaint, reminding me of something you would find in Velaris. The casual exchange between the owner and Tarquin felt very familiar. I smiled at the couple as they personally sat Tarquin and I. The restaurant had no menu, instead the meal was based on whatever the ships brought in that day and the catch of the day seemed to be crab. They brought out steaming plates and I could only stare at it. 
“I must admit, I’ve never tried crab before.” I picked up one of the legs in front of me, taking note of the hard shell. Tarquin smiled at me. 
“Apologies, I didn’t consider that.” He gestured for the piece I was holding and I handed it over to him. “You have to crack this open” A simple twist of his hands and the shell popped loudly. “And then you can pull out the meat.” Picking up a tiny fork, he pulled the entirety of the meat out in a clean piece. I gave him a small clap. He laughed and handed me another piece. 
“You try.” I earned my own clap from him as I copied his motions. It took me a few tries to scoop everything out but I got there in the end. 
“I’lll just have to practice more.” I winked at him and he gave me a soft smile. 
“If it gives you an excuse to come back here, be my guest.” I let the comment float between us. We ate until he had to wave off the shop owners. A small argument between the three of them as they tried to insist he didn’t need to pay. Tarquin dropped a bag of gold on the table when their backs were turned and all but pushed me out of the restaurant before they could notice. The action was so unlike any other high lord I had seen that I couldn’t help the giggle that left me. 
He had grabbed my hand in his sometime during our walk back through the city. Not paying attention to the way I led him to the stretch of beach on the other side of the palace, on the opposite side of where Feyre and Amren were currently trying to grab the book from. The only sound between us was the crashing waves. 
“Sunlight looks good on you.” Tarquin winked at me as we walked down the beach. Breaking the comfortable silence.  The red that tinted my cheeks had nothing to do with the fleeting sunlight. 
“I’m afraid I might become the same color of that crab if I stayed too long,” I joked back.
“You’d adjust… If you ever wanted to, that is.” His tone was light but I could sense the truth behind those words. 
“You’d do well to remember not to be fooled by a pretty face.” I returned with that same tone. He shook his head. 
“I was under the mountain too. Everyone heard the way you would stand up to her. The way you suffered so others wouldn’t.” His words startled me. I never acted that way to get attention. I told him as much. “And that’s why I know you’re more than a pretty face. You did all of it without thinking. Regardless of what you might show others, I know you and your brother are good people. The people that refuse to see that are fools” 
I didn’t respond. Unable to find the right words. I kept walking, slower than before. The sound of waves crashed over my ears. The white noise comforting. Tarquin was not a bad looking male by a long shot. Even under the mountain he was gorgeous. But even thinking of it, however fleetingly, felt wrong. Some deep part in my chest hurt as I thought of how easy it would be to fall in love with him. My hand drifted subconsciously to rub that sharp sting away. 
“You’re kind too. I see it in the way you interact with your people. Very few high lords care about lesser fae, let alone enough to remember their names.” It was his turn to blush, the skin on his cheeks darkening ever so slightly. 
“I want to be better than those before me. I see no reason to make my people suffer because they weren't lucky enough to be high born.”
“I wouldn’t call it lucky.” I muttered mostly to myself. 
“Neither would I. But to them, to the people that only get to watch…”
“It all does seem rather glamorous. Just another mask to put on.” I bit my tongue, cursing myself for saying too much. To my surprise, Tarquin only nodded along. 
“Better to let them think it’s all parties and banquets. It means we’re doing our jobs well enough.” Once again, silence blanketed itself over us. Both of us were aware that our conversation had drifted to something too real. As I looked out at the ocean and saw the tide starting to swell again, I felt disgust ebb through me. I hoped Feyre had made it out by now. That she had gotten the book. We would be leaving tomorrow regardless. Tarquin must have noticed the look on my face, the pensive far-off look. 
“Are you sad to be leaving?” Luckily he had misread my emotions. I nodded, not entirely lying to him.
“Your home is beautiful and it’s nice to be given a break from Hewn city. Sometimes when I wake it, it’s hard not to think I’m still…with her.” He grabbed my hand in his as I spoke. As I looked into his sea green eyes, I had never felt more disgusted with myself. He was kind and trusting and so naive. It felt too easy. Any other high lord, one that had been around longer, would have never let my brother or Feyre out of their sight. Pretty face or not. But the High Lord in front of me didn’t hold an ounce of suspicion for my court. Had told Feyre that much during their trip earlier in the week. It made my stomach twist. 
“She left our mark on all of us, it’s our job to make sure someone like her can never have that chance again.” My throat felt tight and I couldn't speak. He was a good male without a doubt. I only hoped he would forgive us for what we had to do, and would be willing to hear us out after all is said and done.  
AS if the mother herself sensed my words, an alarm rang from within the castle. Tarquin jumped, pulling his hand from mine as a  figure appeared next to us. I hoped the sigh of relief wasn’t too loud as I saw Rhys. It’s done. We need to go now. Tarquin’s head was whipping back and forth between his palace and my brother. I knew I would never be able to forget the look of pure disbelief in his eyes as the pieces clicked into place. 
“I’m so sorry.” I took a step towards him as Rhys wrapped an arm around my waist and the moonlit water of the summer court disappeared around me. 
My knees gave out as soon as I felt the ground return underneath me. Azriel was at my side instantly, hands quick to wipe the silent tears off of my face. I pushed myself away from him. So disgusted with myself I could hardly breathe. My brother paid no attention to me, instead turning his focus to Feyre. I let out a mix between a sob and a laugh as I saw her pull out the book. Azriel just pulled me back against his chest. And my treacherous body relaxed in his hold. That familiar smell of nighttime and pine and something so Azriel that I couldn’t help but calm down. I clung to him tighter as Feyre struggled to open the book. Scared that this had all been for nothing. Then the sick voice echoed through the room. A language I couldn’t quite make out but chilled me to my very core. Like the book had been made of nightmares themselves. Even Azriel tensed beside me, wings flaring before I felt them wrap around me. The voice burrowed into my brain sending a fresh wave of tears down my face. Then, just as sudden as it had started it stopped. Feyre held the now opened box in her lap, refusing to look into it. 
Amren finally looked and pulled away, swearing. She looked…scared. It was a look so out of place on her face that I almost couldn’t clock it. But as she looked back at the book I recognized the pure terror flickering behind those quick silver eyes and I wondered out loud what exactly we had gotten ourselves into. 
I didn’t stay to discuss the events at the summer court with the rest of my family. As it was, Azriel had to all but carry me to my room. Maybe I was being dramatic but the last few days mixed with that look from Tarquin had worn heavily on me. Waves of guilt kept roaring through me. Enough so that I simply let Azriel place me onto my bed, feeling too disgusted with myself to be in his presence any longer. He only pressed a light kiss to my forehead before he pulled the curtains shut and left my room. 
Azriel didn’t return until later the next day. When I finally was able to look him in the eyes I saw nothing but concern in those hazel eyes. Concern I didn’t deserve or want. 
“Talk to me.” He pleaded. I shook my head, a small sniffle the only sound I made. Willing the tears away. I didn’t even deserve to be crying for myself. He sighed heavily and pulled me into his lap. I was so upset that I didn’t even consider the intimate hold. I just curled up tighter into myself and let him rock me back and forth. 
“I’m a horrible person.” I sobbed into his chest, unable to hold back the tears. 
“Rhys told me everything. You’re not. They don’t know it yet but this could save us all.” I didn’t let his words comfort me. 
“He’s so kind. It sickens me to think that I might be the reason he stops being kind.” My voice broke. The admission was unbearable. 
“He’ll deal with it.” I sniffled one more time before I started to calm down. 
Tarquin did in fact deal with it. In the form of four blood red rubies delivered to Hewn City that morning. I swore when Rhys placed it on my bed. “Azriel’s already sweeping the border, so if you decided to have a melt down on me again, you’ll be waiting for a while for someone to comfort you.” Half a tease and half a plea for me to keep it together. I tossed the ruby to the floor, letting it roll under my bed. 
“You really know how to comfort a female, Rhys. It’s a miracle we aren’t having to peel Feyre off of you, truly.” I spit at him. 
“Be angry at me all you want, but get your shit together. You’ve, we’ve, done far worse things.”
“To people that deserved it.” I whispered back. And that was the root of it all. The way we had done unspeakable things to people in the past had never bothered me, because they would have done the same if they got the chance. But sweet, naive Tarquin…
“He’ll understand in time.” Was all he offered, and I saw red tinge the edge of my vision. 
“But at what cost? He’s a good ally to have if we come down to war and we very well might have pushed him into Hyberns hands.”
“If it takes a simple theft for him to go to Hybern then he was never truly an ally.” I wanted to slap the cock-sure look off of my brother's face. 
“Send in Azriel when he gets back.” Dismissal clear in my tone. Rhys looked at me, but I turned away from him. He said my name softly. 
“Get.Out.” I gritted out, picking up a pillow to throw at him but when I turned around he was already gone. 
Azriel did come to my room later in the day, but only long enough to bring me food and say goodbye. He was doing more patrols, checking  his network of spies for any word that Summer might be preparing to send soldiers to our doors. He left before I could say anything to him, only leaving a single shadow behind. It stayed near my bed until I ate the food Azriel had brought for me. Then, and only then, did the shadow retreat to the corner of my room, making me feel a little less alone as I drifted off to sleep. 
It took days for me to finally come out of my room. Nothing compared to the weeks of waiting for the queens to reply to our request. Rhys didn’t have to inform me I would not be coming to the meeting and I didn't have it in me to argue with his decision. He would keep an open line to me from the human lands and I would be able to add my two cents if it was needed. But after my reaction to Tarquin, wwe couldn’t risk another break down on my end. As much as everyone understood where I was coming from, they knew the role I played weighed heavily on me and if I was to attend the meeting I would need to play my part perfectly. A part I didn’t want to play at the moment. That would leave me with Amren, the ancient fae had not let the book out of her sight since it had been given to her. Rhys and I were the only others who had an inkling of how to translate the equally as ancient language, but it took me far more concentration than it took her. 
She didn’t seem to care because no sooner had my family left before she was hauling the book onto the table in my office. The map had been moved to a larger table so she sprawled out sheets of paper with random sentences scribbled onto them, like she was translating faster than she could write them down. I stared at the pages until my eyes began to blur over. Amren shot me a dirty look when I pushed away from the table rubbing my eyes. 
“Weak.” She muttered to herself and I didn’t dignify her taunt with a reply. I had nothing to prove to her, and she very well might be right. I didn’t have the same pull to war like she did, planning it was hard enough. Despite how naturally it came to me, I despised the scheming and backstabbing that usually accompanied it. I didn’t spare her a glance as I walked out of the room, leaving her to her own devices to try to make sense of the pages of the book. 
It was around dinner time when everyone appeared in the front room of the house. I could feel the tension radiating off of Rhys and I wondered why he hadn’t tried to contact me. Until I followed him into his office and he spun around, looking like he was ready to attack me. 
“They want proof that we’re not the court the rumors suggest. They want to see behind the mask.” He spit out, hands lacing into his hair looking like he might pull it from his roots. 
“What are you going to do?” I asked him softly. Taking very slow steps towards him. He growled before he pushed the contents of his desk to the ground. He stood, chest heaving rapidly as he just stared at the floor. 
“I’m going  to show it to them. For the first time since its creation, I’m going to show someone Velaris.” He sunk into his chair, like his legs would no longer support him. I sensed Cassian and Azriel behind me then. I shot them a look that told them to get out and they left as quickly as they had entered. I walked over to my brother and wrapped my arms around him. The sob he let out shook me to my very core and I could only hold him tighter. NO words of encouragement found their way from my throat. 
“I’m sorry for judging you so much over the last weeks.” He said once the sobs had stopped echoing around the room. 
“You were only trying to-”
“I was only being selfish. You made a hard choice and look at me the moment I’m presented with one.” 
“You’re allowed to feel things, Rhys.” A conversation we had had far too many times. He shook his head against my shoulder.
“Not if this is what it does to me. Not if it puts my family in danger.” He sounded so broken and exhausted. 
“You don’t have to do this alone.” My words only made him start sobbing again. And I just held him, not trusting myself to speak as he cried himself out. 
We didn’t speak of the events in his office, that singular moment of weakness from my brother and the others knew better than to ask. The withering glare I had shot Amren when she even attempted to pry served as warning to leave it be. They let it be as the focus quickly turned to the trip to Hewn city. The Veritas orb would be the only way the queens would ever truly believe us. 
So we all prepared. Dressing in finery like it was no different than our fighting leathers. Because in that wretched court they were synonymous. Lipstick akin to war paint and a lethal smile more than just an expression.
I dug in the back of my closet for the ballgowns I reserved only for these occasions. The one I chose for tonight was made of a fabric so black it looked purple. Cut outs at my waist and a neckline that nearly dipped to my navel. Twin slits up the legs that closed right under my hip bone. I left my hair down as I usually did, pinning it to one side of my head. Slipping in my crown I didn’t give myself another glance in the mirror. 
The dress left no room for weapons anywhere on my body but Azriel would be by my side as we searched for the orb. And hopefully he wouldn’t have to even think of using the polished blade that sat on his hip. 
Mor and I arrived first. Winnowing ahead of the others to announce our arrival. There weren't many preparations to be made, the court never one to stop partying. Only stopping enough to sleep or the occasional formal dinner. So Mor and I waited. And waited. Kier grew ever impatient at the lack of my brother's appearance. 
“He’s your high lord, he can come and go whenever he pleases.” My voice the perfect picture of an ice cold princess. Stuck up and full of mirth. He rolled his eyes at me.
“Yes of course, I just wish to go back to my own festivities instead of waiting for him to grace us with his presence.” 
“You will wait as long as he sees fit.” I bared my teeth at him and all he did was give me a wicked smile. I fought to keep my face even, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of riling me. 
Mor was shifting from foot to foot. Looking at her, you would think she was bored, but her tight grip on her arms was the only indication about how uncomfortable she was. Standing in the same room as her father. Neither of them so much as looked at the other. 
“Why don’t you go check on the others. Make sure they remembered we were coming.” I said to Mor, giving her an excuse to leave if only for a few minutes. She didn’t say anything, just gave me a tight nod in appreciation. When she arrived, her face was grim before that mask of indifference snapped back into place. I would have to ask her about it later. 
I almost sighed in relief when I saw my brother, Feyre in tow behind him, walk through the heavy obsidian doors. Kier had already gone back to the main room, my threatening promise of collecting him when my brother appeared. 
“Wait for the others.” Rhys said to me as he brushed by me, steps not faltering as he walked into the throne room. So I waited for Cassian and Azriel. They arrived a few minutes after Rhys had left the room. 
“What happened?” I hissed at them, seeing their glowing siphons. 
“Ambush. We’ll tell you more later.” Azriel said in a clipped voice, shadows whipping around his feet. Clearly agitated. I nodded. 
“You better.” I answered before we all fell into our positions. Azriel on my right and Cassian on my left, me a few paces in front of them. The three of us walked into the throne room. If it wasn’t already silent, the sheer presence of the three of us would have quieted it. As it was, eyes tracked our every move, people all but jumping out of the way of the three of us. Gone were the playful smiles and casual words. Here I was more than just darkness, if Rhys night incarnate and I was something different entirely. The absence of anything, a void. Everyone here had witnessed first hand my powers. The smoke that could incapacitate everyone standing before me, when I had my full powers. Then there was Azriel and Cassian, the wicked spymaster and the bloodthirsty general. 
A path was cleared for us up to the dias where Rhys was standing. Azriel and Cassian knelt at the foot of the marble steps. I joined my brother on the opposite side as Feyre. A feline smile gracing my features as I looked at the kneeling figures of the court. 
“How lovely of you to finally join us.” 
“Call it fashionably late.” Rhys chuckled darkly at my response. With that he walked over to his throne. Pulling Feyre onto his lap. I walked a few paces to stand beside him, my usual position as his sister. I was not expected to kneel for him, instead presenting a unified front. The terrifying high lord and his equally powerful sister. 
I tried to ignore the way Rhys ran his hands all over Feyre. She had already been warned of the role she would have to play while visiting this court. A role she accepted. I admired how bravely she was taking it all. He leaned in to whisper something I tried to tune out. The court is still kneeling, bodies shifting with the strain of the position. As if remembering that they were even there. “Go play.” Was the only acknowledgement he gave them. Dismissing them like they weren’t worth his time anymore. The music began after a few moments. People scramble to do something to distract themselves. 
I walked over to the two warriors as Rhys summoned Kier from his spot near the dias. I fought the urge to hiss at him as he walked by me. I let a small flicker of smoke leak from my hands instead, a threat. He snarled at me and I only let out a low laugh. 
Azriel was already waiting for me. Ready to surround us in darkness to retrieve the orb. We hung by the edge of the room for a little longer, slipping out seamlessly. 
I led the way down the twisting hallways to the vaults that lay hidden underneath Kier’s bedchambers. Azriel needed someone from our bloodline to get in that room, the wards being keyed to our family. We didn’t run into any guards on the way, the wards making it unnecessary.
We entered the cavernous room and began searching. Azriel sent his shadows off through the various tunnels to search ahead of us. We searched through room after room. Silently cursing my extended family for the sheer amount of things they held onto. Jewels and ancient tomes. Records of every dealing of the court of nightmares. I rolled my eyes at the absurd opulence of it all. Azriel’s shadows whipped back to him, wrapping around his shoulders. No doubt whispering of the orbs wearabouts. He grabbed my hand in his as the shadows slunk back to their previous location. The orb was sitting high on a shelf. Out or reach if it wasn’t for Azriel’s wings. He quickly scooped it up and placed it in a bag hidden underneath his leathers. 
We started the walk back to the throne room. The sound of footsteps alerting us of someone else's, several someones, presence. Without thinking, I pulled Azriel’s face close to mine. Bringing a hand up to his face. His hand went to wrap around my waist at the quick movement. 
“Play along.” I whispered to him. I gave a quiet sultry laugh and the footsteps stopped mere feet from us. I jumped back like they had surprised me. Peeling myself off of Azriel. I stepped away, forcing an embarrassed look onto my face. 
The two males only stared at Azriel and I. Taking note of the secluded spot, the space I had abruptly put between us. Predatory smiles graced their faces. 
“Don’t let us ruin your fun.” One said.
“Unless you would rather us join.” The other added. From the lilt of their voices, I could tell they were drunk. Too drunk to realize exactly who they were speaking to like that. I only made a disgusted sound, pulling Azriel behind me as the sound of their laughter echoed through the hallway behind us. 
Azriel and I blended seamlessly into the dancing crowd. The music was slightly more refined than earlier. He didn’t say anything to me as I pulled his hand into mine and put his other hand on my waist. He slowly let his shoulders relax, leaning into me and his footing became more sure. 
It didn’t take long for me to forget why we were doing this, that we had nearly been caught despite his shadows. As I danced with him, I forgot anything but us existed.
The music flowed through me making me feel light as he spun me around the dance floor. I didn’t care about the eyes tracking us across the room. I couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of his hands on my exposed waist. He whispered a joke at something his shadows must have picked up and I threw my head back with laughter. Truthfully I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this good. My mind fully focused on Azriel. 
I prayed to the mother he couldn’t feel the goosebumps that had risen along my skin against his touch. 
He dipped me low and I felt my breath stop. His face an inch from mine. It would be so easy to close that distance and feel his lips against mine. Every part of my brain was screaming at me to do it. His shadows raced around us like they could hear my thoughts. My traitorous body locked up when all I wanted to do was pull him to me. He took in the tension in my body and started to pull away. Panicking at the thought of losing his body heat against mine, I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him back down to me, right as he started to stand me up. I bit back a moan as I felt the plush of his lips collide with mine. 
It was clumsy and rushed but I sucked down breaths full of him, hand still locked on his neck. His hands tightened their hold against me and he groaned my name before he pushed me away. 
“I’m sorry. I…” all the joy had leached out of me as I took in his face. He looked disgusted and before I could say anything else he was weaving through the crowd, leaving me alone on the dance floor. 
My mind was reeling. Lips still tingling in the aftermath. I had dreamed of that kiss for centuries but never could have predicted his reaction. The tears were streaking down my face before I quickly wiped them away, pushing my way through moving bodies. I needed to get out of this room, get out of this stupid dress that had suddenly become too tight to breathe. 
Before I could rip it off in the middle of the throne room, Rhys caught my elbow and was pulling me down to a quiet hallway. I haven't even realized he had left his throne. 
“What happened? Are you hurt?” I couldn’t answer with anything other than a sob. He took me into his arms and my skin crawled at the contact. I shrugged out of his hold and could only get out one word. “Mor.” I said her name like the lifeline it was. I saw the conflict in Rhys’ eyes. The need to make me feel better and not leave me alone. But as another sob passed my lips he was all but running away to grab the female I had requested. 
I was hiccuping between sobs by the time Mor arrived. Rhys nowhere in sight, probably returning back to that cruel High Lord facade. I don’t think I could have gotten the words out of what had happened if he was still standing beside me. I choked out the words to her. Recounting what happened and Azriel’s less than enthusiastic reaction. Mor was well aware of my feelings and her eyes shone with sympathy. She held me as I cried it out, tears soaking the fabric on her shoulder. Her hold on me helped to ground me and eventually my tears calmed. I gave her the tightest squeeze I could manage and she held me at arms length, examining my face. Her thumbs came up to wipe under my eyes, coming away with streaks of my makeup sticking to them. My own hands brushed along my face and a sigh of relief followed as I noticed my makeup hadn't smudged too much. No one would be able to know the mess a single kiss had just reduced me to. 
Taking Mors outstretched hand, she pulled me back into the main ballroom, music filling my ears again. The tempo had picked up more turning into something I might hear at Rita’s and definitely something you couldn’t waltz to. Couples had retreated to the sides as the dance floor became a breathing pulse instead of the graceful swell of movement it had been earlier. The pairs that had remained grinding against each other. Mor snagged two flukes of champagne as she pulled us deeper into the dance floor. I knocked mine back as quickly as I could and resolved to block out all the thoughts that were racing around in my head. So I danced with Mor until my brow was covered in sweat, my skin glistening at the rising temperature of the entire room. We ignored all the disgruntled looks aimed our way. Not caring if they heard our laughter for once. 
We both laughed as we found our way to the edge of the crowd again, grabbing more champagne. We both hung back catching our breath together and I let out a heavy sigh as I emptied the glass. I spotted the shadows from across the room and all but slammed the glass onto the table behind me. 
“I’m leaving.” Was all I said to Mor as I stalked away. She didn’t try to stop me, only grabbed my arm to winnow me back to Velaris. She didn’t linger. Returning just as swiftly as we had arrived. 
I just made it back to my room before the tears started anew. Ripping the pins out of my hair and peeling the beautiful dress off my shaking frame, I didn’t make it to my bed before I sunk down to my feet. Pulling my knees close to my chest I let the tears come. 
He was allowed to not return my feelings but in those moments on the dance floor that kiss had felt so real. The way I effortlessly fit against him or the laughter that flowed freely from me. It all felt so right and to see that look on his face. It broke some part of me I had been holding onto for so long now. That small dream that he could for some reason ever return my sentiments. That he would ever see me as anything as Rhys’ sister. 
I eventually was able to pull myself into bed and curl myself into a ball. Tears lulling me off to sleep. I must have dreamt that night because I swore I felt those familiar shadows glide over my skin but by the time I opened my eyes they were gone. 
I managed to pull myself out of bed the next morning. Pushing the stinging rejection to some deep part of me. There’s a war at our doorsteps and you’re crying over a kiss. I reminded myself to stop being so pathetic as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. I was the last to arrive apparently. 
“You disappeared rather quickly last night.” Cassian said to me, tone teasing but laced with questions. 
“We got the orb, and I no longer wanted to be there.” I shrugged. Pointedly ignoring the gaze of the shadowslinger I could feel burning a hole in the side of my head. I didn’t talk to him all morning, suddenly finding someone calling my name when he tried to speak to me. It was childish, sure, but I didn’t have it in me to discuss it without breaking down in front of him. As it was, I could barely make eye contact with him. My lips tingled every time I look at him. A feeling that I imagine must be similar to being struck by lighting erupted over my skin. I couldn’t be in the same room as him. Lucky for me, Rhys had called me into his study to go over the events of last night. What that would mean for our upcoming trip to the queens.
I was so out of it that I didn’t even notice that Rhys had stopped talking. 
“What happened to you last night?” Rhys asked in a soft voice. I shook my head. If I started talking about it I wouldn’t be able to stop. Rhys would know everything.
“Weren’t you just the one telling me you don’t have to do this by yourself. Gods just let me help you.” 
“You can’t fix this, Rhys.”
“Why not?”
“Azriel kissed me.” He tensed at my rushed words. 
“Did he hurt you?” His voice was cold as death. I shook my head.
“Not the way you mean.” He tapped his hand impatiently against his desk, waiting for more of an explanation. So I sighed and told him everything. 
“How long have you been in love with him?” He asked when I finally finished my story. 
“I’m not-” His pointed stare made me wither. “Only a few years after you became high lord.” I admitted. He had the audacity to laugh. 
“Cassian and I called it.” I gaped at him.
“Not out loud or anything but we always assumed.” 
“That’s all you have to say about this?”
“You’re an adult. He’s an adult.” 
“So you have no idea why he reacted that way.” He looked sheepish at my question. Hands going to pick at an invisible piece of lint. “Rhysand.” He flinched as I said his full name. 
“No. I have no idea.” He threw his hands up in the air before he said “Have you tried, I don’t know, talking to him yourself?”
It was my turn to look sheepish. 
“That explains why you’ve been avoiding him all morning then.” A smile playing at the edge of his lips.
“And I’m sure you were whispering all about the mating bond in Feyre’s ear last night?” I returned. 
“Touche.” 
“Who would have guessed, the two scariest fae in all of Pyrthian and we run with our tails between our legs at the thought of a romantic relationship.” 
“Pathetic truly.”
“If only they could see us now.” I joked back. 
I felt better after my talk with Rhys, lighter even. It was nice to have him know even if it meant I would have to endure his teasing at times. Azriel said nothing about my change in mood as I finally acknowledged him, Rhys making a lewd gesture behind the spymaster. I fought to keep my laugh down. Azriel looked behind his shoulder to find a perfectly still Rhys, his head turned back to me and then to Rhys again, like he might catch him if he moved fast enough. 
“We should-” He started before I held up a hand.
“Not necessary. I got the message loud and clear.” He deflated ever so slightly at my words and didn’t say anything else. So I carried on about my day as usual, until it was time to get dressed for tonight.
The gown I wore tonight was vastly different from the one I wore to Hewn city. This was a silver, tiered dress. Ruffles formed to look like butterfly wings and encrusted with gems on the edges. The neckline was far more modest than my other dress, swooping gently right under my collar bone. I couldn’t help but twirl in the mirror. Giggling at the rainbows the clear gems threw across the ceiling. It truly was a gorgeous dress. One I had custom made from one of the shops in Velaris. 
I didn’t wait for any of the others to join me. I had gotten ready at the house of wind so I could join the festivities the moment I was ready. Too excited to waste one minute with Mor fussing about her hair. I stood on the balcony, eyes already searching for those little flickers of starlight. 
“You look beautiful.” A voice behind me said, making me jump. I haven't heard Azriel approaching behind me. He stood beside me by the railing, leaning on his elbows. It was peaceful, standing next to him with the wind brushing against my skin. The events from last night eddying out of my mind with him so close to me. 
“I missed this.” I nearly whispered to him. Looking out at the lights of the city I loved. Hearing the laughs and joyous shouts of everyone above us. It was all too much and not enough, the thought of it bringing happy tears to my eyes. Tears that I felt scared hands wipe away before I could. “I’m sorry. I just… I never thought I would see this again.” His eyes filled with a deep sadness. Before he could open his mouth to speak again, Mor called my name. Rushing over she put a glass of champagne in my hand, pulling me upstairs with the other. Azriel trailed behind us. 
I looked over my shoulder and gave him a soft smile that he returned. Cassian was waiting for all of us, talking to some pretty female that was batting her eyelashes at him. He didn’t give her a second glance when he spotted us approaching, the female calling his name as he retreated from her side. I could have laughed at the look she gave all of us but I didn’t have time to think about it as Cassian swept me into a bone-crushing hug. 
“Look at you all dolled up, princess.” Cassian said as he held me at arms length. 
“Couldn’t have you upstage me” I winked at him which only made him throw his head back with laughter. I joined in and felt a weight uncurl from my shoulders. 
“Come on.” Mor said as the music started to pick up. The telltale sign that the best part was just ahead. My eyes searched the crowd for my brother. I wanted to share this moment with him. I caught the outline of wings on the balcony above us. Tucked away enough that I really had to search for him. I saw the sparkle of Feyre’s dress and a warm smile plastered itself to my face. His arm was wrapped around her waist. I looked away, giving them their privacy. 
No sooner had I looked back to the sky did I see the faint trails of light beginning to fill it. First one, then a few more, then the sky was full of the brightly colored trails. Bits of stardust landed in the river below us, covering the surface with their glittering color. Mor grabbed my hand, pulling me into a uneleagant dance. Cassian and Azriel joined in a few moments later. The four of us not caring about the moves we made, simply soaking up each other's company. Azriel wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side and I felt my heart skip a beat. Mind instantly going back to our dance at the court of nightmares. He shot me an almost apologetic smile that told me he was thinking the same thing. I shrugged at him. Nothing to apologize for. He kissed me and I kissed him back. Simple as that. It didn’t have to mean anything, nothing more than the heat of the moment decision. As much as it hadn’t been that for me, as much as it stung to know that’s all he saw it as.
 Shaking the thoughts away, I grabbed his arm and swayed gently to the beat. Cassian and Mor devolved into a dance that was more jumping than dancing. They wrapped their arms around each other howling with laughter. 
I felt the glittering substance hit my arm. Looking down to inspect it, I noticed Azriel’s wings sporting their own splatters. It took every ounce of brain power I possessed not to reach up and brush it off of those beautiful wings. Instead I dipped a finger through the dust on my arm and wiped a streak over Azriel’s cheek. He stared at me in disbelief before a booming laugh left him. The sound warmed my heart. He laughed like this so rarely, truly carefree. It seemed so natural to lean in and rest my head against his chest. His arms wrapped around me as we just stood in each other's embrace. I tilted my head up so  I could see his hazel eyes already looking down at me.
“Azriel I…”
He let me go when Mor cried out my name, cutting off my words.
“You’re not nearly drunk enough.” She said pulling my arm to the table holding the full glasses. I turned to look at Azriel but he seemed to have disappeared already. His shadow trailing across my shoulder being the only indicator he had even been there. 
Mor and I stayed on the rooftop until the sun started peaking over the horizon. Coloring the Sidra a beautiful pink and orange. Sighing heavily as the lingering effects of the alcohol had started to wear off finally, leaving nothing but exhaustion in their wake. Mor simply grabbed my arm and winnowed us back to the house. 
Cassian and Azriel were asleep on the couches. A bottle of whiskey sitting empty on the table between them. They wouldn’t wake up until later in the afternoon. I threw blankets over both of them and started heading to my own room. I didn’t stay up long enough to bathe nor did I peel myself out of my dress. Suddenly too exhausted to even keep my eyes open. 
I woke up sometime in the late afternoon. Rhys all but pulled me out of bed.
“We're leaving soon.” That woke me up. With a curse I stumbled over myself to get to the bathing room. I took a hasty bath, washing away the remaining stardust that was stuck to my skin. I braided my hair and dressed in my Illyrian leather. Daggers slid into their place on my thigh. I strapped my sword to my back and was down to meet the others in less than thirty minutes. Rhys gave me an approving nod. 
Going to Windhaven never got any easier. I had no love for my old home. It was only a blessing from the cauldron that I haven't been born with wings. The cruelty I faced growing up was enough. The shudder that racked through me had nothing to do with the cold. 
I ignored the sneers from passing by males. Azriel and Cassian tight by my side serving as a buffer for the nasty comments that were usually thrown my way. Feyre was silent beside me, taking in the sights around her. 
We walked until Lord Devlon walked in front of us. A brutish male that was one of the few people in this world I can say I truly hated. Mor snarled at the mention of the girls they were supposed to be training. 
“And why aren’t the males helping them with the chores?” I dared to ask him. He looked at me like I was no more than a speck of dirt on his leathers. 
Before Devlon could grace me with a response Rhys cut him off. The demanding voice of a high lord telling him to clear out our old house. The tone even Devlon couldn’t argue with. 
Rhys, Feyre and I stood in the clearing. Time and time again she reached her power out, getting stronger each time. I practiced along with her. She stood in awe of the mist that poured out of my hands, getting thicker each time until it hugged the ground like fog. 
“When did you meet Tamlin?” Feyre asked after a string of questions about Illyria. Rhys and I both stiffened. The mist instantly retreated back into my hands. 
“Show me something impressive and I’ll tell you.” She rolled her eyes but did it anyway. Holding out her hand she conjured a butterfly out of the water in the snow. It was very impressive. 
“I’ve known Tamlin since he was young. The more decent children of the high lords at the time. Definitely better than Berons bunch.” He almost shivered and I willed the earth to swallow me whole. “And significantly better than his brothers, who knew from the moment Tamlin was born he would be high lord. He was the lesser of the evils so I decided it would be better if we were friends… I don’t know why but I even taught him some illyrian techniques.” 
“Did anyone know?” He shook his head. I blanched at the thought of how angry our father would have been had he known about Rhys and Tamlin’s friendship. Rhys looked to me, knowing the next part of the story was mine to tell. I just nodded at him, giving him permission to say the words I couldn’t. 
“When my father got wind of our friendship… for lack of a better term. He decided it was time for the two courts to align themselves more. And that’s where this gets even more complicated.” He trailed off, once again looking at me. 
“Why?” Feyre pressed on and I wish she hadn’t , wish she would have let it go at that. 
“Because the only way to join the courts in any way my father deemed worthy was to marry them together. Literally.” Feyre’s eyes went wide and her gaze landed on me. I couldn’t meet her eyes. Shame rising up, tightening my throat. Rhys continued. 
“We all saw the power that Tamlin had, the power that marked him as the next High Lord of spring. And without any sisters for me to get paired off to, that left one option.” He shrugged over at me. 
“What happened? I mean, I’m assuming you never…never went through with it.” I took a deep breath, willing my voice to work. 
“I moved to the spring court, I tried to fight it but my father would absolutely not hear it. Every plea fell on deaf ears. So I went because I had to,” my hands were shaking as I pulled up the memories. “It wasn’t so bad. Tamlin was different back then, sweeter, less guarded. At least when he wasn’t around his father. We became friends over time. But the closer we grew, the more protective he got over me.” She nodded, understanding the feeling. “Eventually it became a little more. He fell faster than I did, I never really saw him as more than a close friend but we were supposed to be married so I played along. Wishing every day that I could return his sentiments. Calanmi came that next year and he sought me out.” She paled at my words, her hand rubbing absentmindedly at her neck. I quickly added. “It wasn’t horrific by any stretch of the imagination. If I had said no, regardless of the magic, he wouldn’t have done it. Would have stopped. But that was when everything shifted for him. I couldn’t go out to the gardens without having his sentinels on my tail. Was damn near confined to only the house. Lucien wasn’t around as much then, still fairly new to the court. And of course, his father was watching our every move. Gauging the relationship as it progressed. Watched as I withered away under Tamlin’s overbearing protection.” I couldn’t stop the words as they flowed out of my mouth. 
“I pushed back as much as I could. I was constantly sneaking out which only made him more overbearing. We fought more than we didn’t. Both of us said and did horrible things to each other. I knew I couldn’t live like that forever. Couldn’t continue to suffer just because my father had some grand plan.” I finally met Feyre’s eyes and I almost flinched at the understanding in them. Of course she would get it. Her own experience was not too different from mine. She nodded at me, a sign to keep going. 
“So I started planning how to get back home. I couldn’t just winnow away in the dead of night. I knew he would come looking for me. I knew he wouldn’t let me go that easily. I had to break whatever love he thought he held for me, I had to make him let me go willingly. It wasn’t peaceful by any means. I went too far one day in an argument and for the first time ever he lost control.” I pulled up the arm to my jacket, letting the glamor fall away on the three angry claw marks that I never let heal. A reminder of just how destructive both of our tempers had gotten. 
“Why do you seem so calm about this, why didn’t you let me know…I would have-” Her skin was rippling with darkness. Fire flickering from her palms. 
“Would have what, Feyre? You were willing to die for him. I couldn’t take that away from you. I wanted to believe he could change, that he would be better to you. But that is simply how he loves.” I took a steading breath. “I said we both did some terrible things to each other and I stand by that. He’s a villain in my story as much as I am in his.” 
“We simply didn’t want to think we were trying to turn you against him” Rhys echoed. 
Rhys reached for her as she was already walking towards him. My ears barely picked up the whispered words. 
“I want to paint you.”
“Nude would be best” I rolled my eyes as Rhys reached to winnow me with them. 
I was able to catch up with Mor and Cassian as they surveyed the newest girls in training. Most of them were too scared to even pick up a sword, their eyes not moving from worriedly staring at Cassian. Signing, I stepped up in front of him. 
“Magic or no magic?” He asked, raising a challenging eyebrow to me. 
“Magic.” That gave him full permission to use his siphons. That was one department where I needed the practice as much as he did. I tried to pull all my focus on that kernel inside me. The smoke curled out from me before it retreated the moment I moved towards Cassian.
“Try harder.” He growled at me. And I did. I’d been able to coat the ground in the black fog. Cassian stepping to avoid it, but it followed him like a serpent. Twisting and curling around him. It was easier this time. More like trying to pull it through murky water as opposed to a brick wall. Something had changed since this afternoon. It was easier to hold onto it, and didn't leave me as breathless as before. It took a few more tries but I was even able to move around, the fog still staying on the ground. When we were done, I noticed Mor was coaching three of the girls who had been brave enough to pick up swords. I smiled at Cassian as we both watched her. It wasn’t much but it was progress. Slow progress but a start. 
All of us sat around the fire that night. Gathering as close as we could, trying to gain any sort of warmth from it. Feyre looked like her hands might just fall off, not built for or used to the frigid temperatures the night brought with it. We sat absently chatting as we all ate. Mor was going to Hewn city in the morning and Azriel had already left to scout out the human lands. I wasn’t happy with the idea of him going alone but he waved off my concern, promising me he would be safe. Mor, true to her word, left before the sun had even risen the next morning. Grumbling my good bye to her through sleep filled eyes. 
Rhys had convinced me to train with him and Feyre again. Impressed by the progress both of us had made so far. Feyre and I traveled further back into the clearing, putting space between her and my brother. I didn’t ever ask him what exactly had happened during starfall but the tension between the two was palpable and I didn’t blame her for needing space. As much as I hated being away from Azriel, the distance was nice. I felt like I was suddenly unable to think clearly around the shadowslinger. Thoughts more often than not drifting towards the memory of his lips on mine, his hands around my waist. 
A voice I recognized called out Feyre’s name. And to my horror it was not my brother but Lucien standing in the middle of the clearing. 
I stood by, ready to use my powers at the first sign from Feyre. Lucien and the wraiths at his side had yet to notice me. 
I hung onto every word of their exchange. Someone tipped us off that you had been here. Rage boiled my blood. Devlon no doubt being that someone. I took a step forward as Feyre stepped back. 
“Tamlin hasn’t been himself. We’ll take you back-
“Touch her and I kill you.” There was no warmth in my voice for my old friend. Lucien spun around so he was facing me. Giving Feyre time to put space between the two of them. He stared at me, mouth gaping. Smoke was already swirling around my feet. It would take nothing for me to reach out and get Feyre out of here. But this was her battle to fight. I wouldn’t make that choice for her. I felt my self control start to slip as he opened his mouth again.
“Of course. What poison have you been spewing into her ears?” He spit at me. 
“Don’t make this about me.” I spit back so harsh, he flinched. A twig snapping had Lucien whipping back to face Feyre. 
“Let’s go home.” He said as he reached out a hand. I reached for my dagger, wondering if I would be fast enough to sever it from his body if he reached any closer for her. 
“That stopped being my home the moment you let him lock me away inside.” She spoke, quiet as death. He at least had the decency to look ashamed. 
“He made a mistake. He’s sorry, we’re both sorry.” I couldn’t help the scoff that left my mouth. He only ripped his gaze on her away for a second. 
“All this time and you can’t come up with better excuses, Lucien?” I goaded him, “Will he change? Will he be better if she just gives him time?” I felt the fog thin out by my feet. I didn’t pay it any mind. 
I lunged forward the same time Lucien did. A shout leaving my mouth. But his hands found nothing. Feyre was now standing behind him with Rhys at her side. I didn’t let myself relax. 
“Didn’t your mother tell you what the word no means?” Lucien did nothing by spit at my brother's feet. But it was that one word from his mouth.Whoring prick. That had me lunging for him. A firm arm across my chest from Rhys was the only thing holding me back. 
“You made your point Feyre-now come home.” He reached his hand out again but feyre only stepped back. 
“You gave up on me.” The way she spoke those words hit me like a punch in the gut. Lucien’s eyes flickered over to me. No doubt remembering me saying similar things. I was suddenly very far away until I saw those beautiful IIlryian wings peek over her shoulder. Lucien to his credit did not fall as he stumbled back. 
“What did they do to you?” Horror laced his words. Good. 
“Tell Tamlin I won’t be coming back. That if he sends anyone for me, I’ll show him exactly what we do to those who wander into our court.” I felt no sympathy at the hurt that washed over Lucien's face. 
“You’re dead. You and everyone in your court.” He was gone before I had the chance to lunge at him. 
“Scheming prick. Stupid, overconfident bastard.” I kept shouting, kicking the snow around me. I had half a mind to go track him down at the spring court and finish the job I should have done a long time ago. It wasn’t truly Lucien I was mad at, no he was simply the messenger. Once again trying to clean up Tamlins messes. It was either that or have no court to call home. Anger flared through me at the thought. How Tamlin took advantage of Lucien’s situation and turned him into nothing more than a mindless crony. I didn’t pay attention to the words Rhys and Feyre spoke around me. Didn’t even notice Cassian flying in beside me until he gave my arm a small shake. I ripped it out of his hold without even thinking, letting loose a snarl. He spoke my name, reminding me of where exactly I was.
“You’re all safe. Come back with me.” He said, moving closer to me again. I felt the tears already sliding down my face as he scooped me into his arms. 
I hardly moved for the rest of the night. The shivers that ran through me had nothing to do with the cold. Azriel was still hunting for lingering signs of Lucien or the spring court so that left Cassian to deal with me. Something he was not known to be the best at, despite his best efforts. 
I sat with him until Mor came to collect us both, whatever business she had in Hewn city officially ended. 
She sat with me all night. Both of us curled up against each other as we slept. 
Rhys and Feyre were supposed to be back later in the day so we all waited around for them. Hour after hour past and not a word from them. Azriel had left once again when we told him as much. He returned an hour later. 
“Nothing?” I asked him. He slammed his sword down on the table. 
“Not a damn thing.” He huffed, storming to one of the rooms in the back of the house. 
It was almost nightfall and I had been pacing back and forth across the living room of the small house when I heard a noise from outside. All of us were on our feet, rushing outside before we could think better of it. 
The sigh of relief that left me quickly turned into a gasp as I saw Rhys fall to his knees. Cassian and Azriel were on their side of him instantly. Feyre was still standing, in perfect shape actually. Good enough that she was able to march right past me and into the house. The two Illyrian warriors all but dragged Rhys into the house before leaving to go collect Majda. Feyre or Mor were nowhere to be seen.
Rhys’ eyes opened slightly and he only called out Feyre’s name. I shushed him, dabbing a wet washcloth over his head, he was burning hot. Majda came and confirmed what I already knew. Poison. Faebane. 
“He’s healing so he’ll need to just sleep it off,” she rose from beside his bed. “His mate's blood very well might have saved his life. He’ll recover in a day or two.” Her words caught me off guard. His mate. If Feyre knew her blood could heal him…Shit. Casssian and Azriel must have made the connection at the same time I did because when we heard Mor enter the house again, we all ran to find her in the living room. 
We pulled out a bottle of good wine as she confirmed what we had already thought. Feyre knew, no she doesn’t seem happy. No I won’t tell you idiots where she is. Of course, we could find her on our own if need be but it was the idea behind it. Mor only shared the more intimate details with me. Shooing the males out of the room. “Go take care of Rhys if you care that much. He’ll tell you himself.” They both stomped off in a way that reminded me of toddlers, walking into Rhys room. Mor rushed the words out. Feyre was fine overall, just pissed at him at all of us for keeping something this big a secret. I didn’t blame her one bit but it still stung a little that she was mad at all of us. Did she know how much we had been begging Rhys to tell her? 
Rhys woke up in the middle of the next day. He winced as I slammed the door
“How did she find out?” 
“Hello to you too. No, how nice to see you Rhysand, I’m glad you’re not dead.”
“How did she find out?” I asked again. He sat up a little more, wincing slightly
“She trapped the Suriel.” I balked at him. “It seems it’s not the first time she's done it either.” 
Feyre had trapped the Suriel… that could mean. I didn’t want to get my hopes up but I was already on my feet. 
“Where are you going?” 
“Stay out of it, Rhys.” I closed the door a little softer. It took me practically getting on my knees, begging, to convince Mor to take me to the house she tucked Feyre away in. She only agreed when I promised I wouldn’t mention my brother. She needed to bring Feyre more food anyways.
I stood outside the door, feeling very stupid as I held a basket full of food for her.“If you’re asking me to forgive him, you’re barking up the wrong tree.” Feyre had only opened the door an inch
“I need you to tell me how to catch the Suriel.” She opened the door wider
“Why do you want to know?” She motioned me into the house and I looked around wildly. The smell of fresh paint lingered in the air and covered her skin. 
“I have something I need to ask. Please. I know you don’t owe me anything, especially right now. But please.” 
I stood in the middle of a clearing, new cloak in hand. My hands had frozen on the walk over but I had to talk to the Suriel. I knew it was around here, if it had talked to Feyre only the night before. The snare I made was sloppy at best. But I prayed to the mother it would work. 
The scream that echoed through the clearing had me running towards the sound, crossing my fingers. 
It had indeed worked. The Suriel had my velvet cloak in its hands.It thrashed violently as I approached, suddenly;y going still as it sensed my presence. 
“ Let me down before I gut you.” 
“I have a question first.” Hollow eyes looked at me, pinning me in place. 
“You seek answers about your curse?” 
“How do I get rid of it?” 
“You already know how. The very thing that the wicked queen knew you would never do.”
“Stop the games. Tell me.” I was shouting, hands shaking. 
“Forgiveness. Forgive the one you hate the most.”
I flinched like the Suriel had burned me. The words swam around my head. I vaguely realized I was shaking my head. 
“That can’t be it.” I pleaded. 
“I am many things, but a liar is not one of them.” I felt the angry tears starting to trail down my face. “Now let me go. I only have so much patience for meddling fae today.” I pulled out one of my jeweled daggers, slicing the rope that held the Suriel’s ankle. As the figure retreated, I sank down to my knees. Forgive the one you hate the most. 
It was a rare occurance to be summoned to her private chambers. Attors on either side of me, ready to strike at the first sign of push back. They unceremoniously threw me into the center of the room, pushing me to my knees in front of the red headed female. 
“Leave us.” She said in a voice that turned my stomach. I dared to raise my eyes off the ground. Rhys was perched in a soft looking chaise, he didn’t hold my eyes for long. The Attors shuffled out of the room but I knew they lingered in the hallway. 
“I hear you’ve been causing trouble again, princess.” It was all I could do not to flinch at the way she said that name. The name my family had called me for centuries. A defiled, twisted rendition of the sign of my family's love. “Well, I have a surprise for you.” Her voice dripped with a wicked delight. From somewhere in the room a noise drew my attention. I completely froze as I saw Tamlin being led out in chains. Even Rhys momentarily broke his mask to glare at him. Amarantha smiled at me as she walked over to him. She squeezed his cheeks in an overly familiar way. “Doesn’t he look good like this?” She laughs at my lack of response, pushing him away from her. He didn’t try to hide his stumble. “No groveling at his feet then? No apologies for the mess you got him into?” 
“That’s no-” An invisible hand around my throat cut off the words. Rhys’ eyes flickered to mine, an apology lingering in his violet stare. 
“Did I say you could speak?” She released her magic and I nearly fell to the ground, sucking in painful gulps of air. She stalked towards me, stopping inches from me. Her hand went out to cup under my chin, forcing me to look her in the eye. “Maybe if you hadn't broken his heart, he would have accepted my offer the first time.” I bared my teeth at her and she gave a sharp cold laugh. 
“Oh, this is going to be so much fun. Are you sure there’s no kind words for our little High Lord over here?”  I just held her gaze. Not wavering as I saw the fury in my lack of response, my lack of fighting. “Pity. Where’s that sharp tongue of yours now?” She pushed me, I landed on my back. I didn’t even cry out, too familiar with this treatment from her. 
“You’ve made your point.” Rhys said in a bored voice from his seated position. She only gave him a low growl. 
“You’re no fun.” She cooed at Rhys. The same voice you would use on a babe. Despite my best efforts, trails of black smoke so thick it looked like ink left my fingers. Another invisible force collided with my body and my power retreated back to me, my chest feeling like someone had poured ice water into my veins. Before I could even attempt to try again, she lifted me onto my feet by my hair. “As much as I’d love to see you try, I’m bored with you already.” She yanked my head back before releasing her hold on me. “Tamlin, any words of goodbye?” Forest green eyes met mine. After all that I endured in this hell, I had never felt as small as I did now. That simple glare, so full of hatred, reducing me to that same afraid girl I had once been. Tamlin didn’t speak. Neither did I. 
“Shame. You’ll wish you would have said something soon enough.” I didn’t have time to think over her words as the cold hands of the Attor wrapped around my arm, hauling me back to my room. Didn’t make the connection between that slam in my chest with the trickle of power that I was left with. 
It was right there. Amarantha was never one to just give you information. Just like that riddle that had saved us all. Everything had been a game to her, why would this have been any different? But there had to be another way. Thinking back to my encounter with Lucien recently, there was no way in hell I was forgiving any of them any time soon. I would talk to Helion. Go by myself if need be. Because it was going to be a cold day in Hel before I ever forgive Tamlin. 
I called out for Rhys. For anyone to come and get me. It was at least a day's journey on foot back to the boundary line outside of Windhaven. I sat by and no one came after me. I reached deep within myself and imagined the space I wanted to go to. I didn’t even make it half way before I popped back into the cold clearing, panting. I tried again and it was like I was reaching through brick again. My powers boarded up behind walls I could not break through. I kicked at the snow, cursing. I tried one last time, crying out when nothing happened. So I began to walk back, hoping when I got close enough Rhys would hear me screaming for him in my head. It wasn’t Rhys that came to get me. Instead, Mor appeared beside me. 
“Where have you been?” She said when she spied me, half frozen from the wind. 
“Later.” Was all I could get out, I was bone tired. 
“You all really need to get your shit together.” She grumbled under her breath as she winnowed us back to the house. Don’t I know it.
Rhys had gone to apologize to Feyre, and had not been back since. We could only hope that meant all was well, or that she had at least hid the body herself. 
Rhys and Feyre returned the next day. They didn’t even attempt to hide the smell of the bond, and as happy as I was for my brother I gave him a wide berth. Cassian on the other hand only saw the tension in Rhys shoulders, the way his eyes were drifting between Feyre and every other movement around him. 
“Anytime you want a real ride, Feyre, let me know.” As if his words weren’t enough, the wink he sent Feyre had Rhys lunging for him. I had to quickly side step out of the way to avoid being hit by flailing wings. Ushering Feyre into the house I muttered loud enough for her to hear, “Big Illyrian babies.” 
They fought for an hour and despite being covered in blood, Feyre sent Rhys a look that the rest of us could not run away from fast enough. Mor winnowed the two of us to the house of wind. Azriel was already there, wings tucked in tight as he looked out the large window overlooking Velaris. I snuck up behind him, a rare achievement to make the spymaster jump when I placed a hand on his shoulder. The others slowly trickled into the room as we all waited for Feyre and Rhys to join us. 
The sun was just starting to touch the water when we heard them enter. One by one we stood in front of Feyre before giving a low bow, hands on our hearts in an ancient gesture of respect. One she had more than earned. I couldn’t help but smile at my brother's joy, it radiated off of him in waves so strong I swore I could reach out and grab them. The joy of finally having Feyre by his side. Rhys’ eyes followed my hand as I rubbed a small circle into my chest, separate from the sign we had given Feyre. The tension eased slightly.  Rhys quickly looked away before I could ask him why he was staring so intently on me. 
The human world was just as I remembered it. Despite seeing it less than a month ago, I still gawked as we approached Feyre’s family home. I knew she never lived in this particular estate but the idea that Tamlin made this possible for them thawed my heart just a fraction. Forgive the one you hate the most. I haven't gotten the chance to talk to my brother, or anyone, about what Suriel had told me. Everyone too caught up in Rhys and the Queens we were sitting in front of. 
I sat in stunned silence at the vipers in crowns in front of us. The queens I had met before would laugh if they heard these were their predecessors. 
Mor opened the box in front of her and I had to sit on my hands to stop the urge to knock it out of her hands and destroy the orb. Azriel’s hand on my shoulder did nothing to calm the storm brewing inside of me. We all took a collective breath as the bright lights of Velaris filled the orb.
“This is Velaris,” My brother started and I felt his heart shatter in front of me. “For five thousand years, we have kept it a secret from outsiders. This is what I have fought so hard to protect. The cruelty you believe I possess to protect this city, my people. Dreamers and creators and good people with families. People that have never known strife or violence. All of what I have gone through over the centuries was to protect them.” I couldn’t stop the sniffle that left me and I desperately tried to blink back the tears rimming in my eyes. 
“We will..consider this information.” Mor snarled beside me. I felt like the eldest queen had punched me in the stomach. I went to stand but Nesta beat me to it. 
“Give.Them.The.Book” I didn’t discount the single tear streaking down her own face. 
“No.” A word so final I couldn’t breathe. 
“We appreciate the gesture of your trust.” But I could not look away from the way Cassian stood next to Nesta. The calm he emitted from standing so close to her. When I looked back the queens were gone. 
I looked to my brother, head reeling at the events that had just happened. We fulfilled our end of the bargain. Screaming, manipulative-
In Rhys’ hand sat a box, a box not unlike the one Feyre had struggled to open when we returned from the summer court. A surprised noise left my mouth and Azriel tightened his hand on my shoulder, rubbing small comforting circles. 
Nesta and Elain chose to stay in the mortal lands. The sisters are staying in their family home. The last thing I heard before we left was Nesta whispering to Feyre. That’s why you painted stars on your drawer. 
There was no celebration when we arrived back in Velaris. No sense of triumph as we handed the book to Amren. We had gotten what we needed but at what cost. To Rhys, to my family, it had cost everything. All that he suffered during the war, from my father, from the Illyrian soldiers that looked down on him so much. All that he suffered under the mountain, from Amarantha, all the horrible things we had done together. All of it was sacrificed to the wicked queens who still did not know we possessed the book. Queens who would gladly sit back and watch Prythian and their world be destroyed. 
Rhys and Mor went to the Court of Nightmares the next morning, to return what we had stolen before Kier noticed. Azriel and Cassian pulled me into my study to go over the map, planning for the inevitable war. We added more pins to the maps, adjusting the Illryians to their new location scattered across the mountain ranges. Added the black pins for the warriors we prayed Kier would grant us. I don’t know how long we stayed in that room, Cassian and Azriel periodically doing a lap of the house and its perimeter to watch for anyone who would want to hurt Feyre. Overgrown guard dogs. But I found that even I was keeping a more watchful ear out for any sign of trouble, a light cover of fog I kept over my hands like gloves, ready to attack at a moment's notice. 
The next day, Azriel pulled me from the map to accompany him on patrol. Leaving Cassian the great pleasure of entertaining Feyre until Rhys’ return later today. The city held an eerie silence today despite the citizens going about their usual routines. It wasn’t much later than that thought crossed my mind that I felt the ground beneath my feet quake. My head whipped to Azriel who had gone as still as a statue, his shadows scattering out from him searching for the source of the sound. 
“Azriel?” I questioned, looking around the area for any threat. And then I followed his eye line. Eyes turned to the once clear midafternoon sky, now tinged in clouds of darkness. They were moving far too fast to be only storm clouds. 
“Get Amren and Cassian, now” I choked out. Azriel’s arms were around me instantly, taking off into the sky. Feyre and Cassian had gone to the amphitheater on the other side of the city, hopefully they weren’t far from there. A red light filled the sky, a homing beacon to where we would find Cassian. Quake after quake filled the ground as those creatures tore through the shield around the city. They reverberated through the air, Azriel only held onto me tighter.  
Cassian was shooting through the sky and I felt the ground beneath my feet. Azriel stayed long enough to hear me cry out to him, “Be safe.” He was gone. And I was running towards the direction I had seen Cassian fly in from. Screaming filled the air and I reached for the sword on my back, daggers left forgotten on my hip. I gave tentative push of my power and could have cried in relief at the cloud that pushed out from me, however thin it was. I pulled my earlier thought from my mind, the twinge of something I felt as I had looked at Feyre’s home in the human lands, the physical proof of Tamlin taking care of them, I focused all my spare energy onto that single kindness and I watched the fog grow thicker, curling around me in a way that was so familiar.
 I clutched at that feeling as I heard the screams around me grow louder. I could not run fast enough to stop the swarm of Attor like creatures that flooded the streets. I thought of Elain’s sweet face and Nestas beautiful dresses and willed my power to wrap around the creatures in front of me. If they could see me, they didn’t let it show. The only sign I had that my power had worked against them was the choked screams they let out. My sword tinged with their blood as I ran it clean through them. I pulled that black smoke into me, panting as I forced my legs to run ever faster. Reaching out for something deeper, I visualized the next swarm of them I could see and I felt the familiar pressure as I appeared in the middle of them. Shooting my power out with a force I didn’t recognize, I made quick work of them. They didn’t even get the chance to scream this time. I couldn’t focus on the blood that now stained my blade and face. Could only think of the distance between me and the bright pops of red and blue in the sky, the water I could hear roaring just ahead of me. If I had looked up I would have seen the pack of water wolves Feyre was using to chase them from the city streets and back into the air. 
The tremble that took my feet out from under me was one that did not scare me. Rhys had arrived and his rage took out half of their forces. His power filled the air with a metallic scent and I did my best not to think about what the dusting of red was as it covered my skin. A second roar, far stronger than the first one spurred me on. I did not fear the darkness that slipped over my eyes, those stars and nothing short of pure night. When I could finally make out shapes again, I saw the outline of wings, not those gnarled and bony wings of the creatures attacking us, but Illyiran wings, claws fully extended. I didn’t think as I barreled towards the shape. Didn’t think as I launched myself into Azriel’s chest. His arms came to wrap around my waist, pulling me so tight to him I struggled to breath but I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I gulped down whatever breath I could, filling my lungs with the scent of him. Heart hammering in time with his own wild heartbeat. The screaming had stopped, leaving only a horrifying silence in their wake. I did not let go of Azriel as he winnowed us back to the townhouse. 
All of us were sitting in the living room of the house in various states of disarray. Mor’s hair was caked with dirt and flecks of blood, her eyes starting to flutter shut. Feyre was curled up next to her also looking like she was ready to fall asleep any moment. 
I could see the gears in Cassian's head spinning. The general already thinking about what this means for the greater battles ahead. Obviously, the queens had sold us out to Hybern. Our home had been used as a bargaining chip and it had bit us in the ass. 
My eyes flickered over to Rhys and I could tell his thoughts were in a similar spot. It wasn’t your fault. I said into his head. He flinched, a disgusted look replacing the grief for a brief second. I told them where the city was, I gave them the information freely and for the first time in centuries an outsider knows about the city and then we get attacked. How is that not my fault sister? It was my turn to flinch. With Rhys in his current mood, there was no point in trying to argue back. So I finally closed my eyes and tuned out the conversation between Cassian and Rhys. I didn’t have the energy to talk about Hybern right now. The throbbing headache behind my temples let me know just how much magic I had used today and let me know how much I needed to start hunting for ways to break this curse.
At some point Azriel had stretched out next to me on the couch, my back to his side. Half asleep, I turned to face him and just grabbed his arm. Curling around him as best as I could in our current position. Someone in the room chuckled as I settled down once again. I don’t know how much time passed as they all just sat and talked. I drifted in and out of sleep but couldn’t piece anything coherent together. At some point I felt Cassian standing over me. 
“Come on let’s get you to bed.” His voice held more humor than I would expect from him after today. My eyes didn’t even open before I said. 
“Move me from here and you will lose that hand.” I snuggled closer into Azriel to prove my point. The male by my side laughed a stiff laugh but wrapped his arm around me tighter. I was too tired to care about the content purr that left my chest at the motion. Too tired to care that he scooped me up in his arms and carried me all the way to my room. And definitely too tired to hear the three words he whispered to me as he closed my door.
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