#food discourse

[trainsgenderfoxgirl2816]

just use the knife in your left hand dumbass, all the benefits none of the drawbacks, no switching required, or you could the do the much easier thing and not use a knife its unneccessary like 90% of the time and im not gonna relearn how to eat just because this thing is a pain in the ass to chew, and needs cutting or better yet just cut it all at once

also no fuck the continental style, your holding the Fork upsidedown its a Derivative of the Spoon so use it like one goddamn it

i asked it for "early 2010s Tumblr" and by god it delivered

oh my god. *oh my god.* you’re really out here stabbing your food with your fork in your left hand, cutting it with your right, and then—*then*—you SWITCH the fork to your right hand to eat it? In the year of our Lord 2025? That’s not dining, babe. That’s ✨performative inefficiency✨. You’re not cultivating etiquette, you’re speedrunning the domestication of the human spirit. The entire ritual is a colonial leftover invented to make you look "proper" while eating like a raccoon in formalwear. Meanwhile, continental style exists—fluid, elegant, ergonomically correct—and you're over here doing a clumsy little baton pass with your utensils like you're afraid the Queen is watching from under the table. She’s dead, babe. Let it go. Keep the fork in your left hand like a grown adult with a basic understanding of gravity.

#fork politics #dining discourse #etiquette is class warfare #continental style supremacy #sorry not sorry #cutlery drama #just use your hands at this point #europe was right about this one #table manners are a psyop #discourse.txt #the revolution will not involve utensil fumbling

[iglowindark]

top 5 liked and top 5 hated vegetables and fruits

Hated Vegetables

beets

beets

beets

oh my god, beets

BEETS

Hated Fruits

i love fruits 🏳️‍🌈 😁

i don't think i outright hate any fruits? i'm sure you all will have some suggestions in the chat

i don't really enjoy lychee? but i wouldn't say i hate it, i've had it in dishes before that were lovely

i would have said dragonfruit, because i had one and it tasted like exactly nothing, like air with a crunch, but i have since been informed that I Was Doing It Wrong (it wasn't ripe... or was overripe...) so i'm willing to give it a pass until i can try it at the correct stage

OH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT THERE IS DEFINITELY A FRUIT I DISLIKE: cantaloupe. this is #1.

Beloved Vegetables - not necessarily in order once you get past #1

POTATOES (technically a veg, don't argue with me)

peppers (from bell to ghost and everything in between; so help me god if you say they're a fruit i will dose all of your future smoothies with scorpion pepper)

celery (i hated it as a child, but i grew old and wise and learned the error of my ways and the error was not enjoying celery)

peas (especially peas that you are meant to be picking for dinner. one pea pod in the bucket. one pea pod in my mouth. repeat until there are no peas or until nonny yells at you from the kitchen where she can definitely see you you're not fooling anybody)

the allium family (onions, leeks, garlic, chives, etc)

Beloved Fruits - the order depends on my mood, i'm whimsical like that

raspeberries (best when picked a la peas: one in the bucket, one in your mouth, summer warm and just almost overripe)

peaches/nectarines (i technically like nectarines better for eating plain, but peaches are better in cooking)

LEMONS (and limes, but LEMONS) (in everything, or as enamel strippers, salted and eaten with a grapefruit spoon)

cherries (i love them fresh from the farm stand but i also enjoy the implausibly neon colored ones in syrup; i can also tie a cherry stem in a knot in my mouth, which was a lot cooler when i was a lot younger)

coconuts (i have lots of questions about how humans discovered foods, but this one is so fun to imagine; who got clocked by a falling coconut and decided that the best revenge was to crush it and devour its flesh?)

BELOVED BONUS THING THAT IS WIDELY ACCEPTED AS BOTH FRUIT AND VEG AND GETS ITS OWN CATEGORY REGARDLESS

🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

(that's a row of tomatoes, in case you were confused)

[beardedmrbean]

[lexosaurus]

Thought I'd settle the discourse here and now with this very unbiased poll

[shutupdevvie]

current food fixation

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Pizza, in its non-deep dish form, is better described as a tart than a pie, discuss

[noperopesaredope]

I was thinking about this drink and it's name:

I personally call it a slushee, but Google says the most common way of spelling it is slushy or slushie. So, among those who call it by slush-é rather than, say, slurpee, how do you spell it?

(No, I will not add a "I call it something else" or "slurpee" option. The point of this is how to spell slush-é, not what you think the drink is called)

[dilfsisko]

Being a mango disliked on this website is like being Jesus on the cross I think

[fiendishfyre]

Debate your reasoning in the comments/tags.

[idontbrain]

No, I'm not gonna "enjoy the meal" because if I feel the food touching my mouth more than I already do, I might throw up on your carpet. Believe me, it's not because you're a bad cook, it's because my brain woke up and chose violence.

So, yeah, I'm gonna keep shoving this shit down my throat like I'm a fucking garbage disposal and you would be fucking grateful for it.

Thank you, and goodnight. *mic drop*

[shutupdevvie]

btw quick food discourse. i like cilantro. no soap gene here.

[luminecho]

Are cookies bread?

...Should a cookie be bread?

don't do this to me. don't do this to me

[leiththebard]

my family makes "beef stroganoff" but it is

a) ground beef in a heavy mushroom soup based sauce

b) served on rice

can we still call it beef stroganoff? because i dont feel like it still is

[five-rivers]

My food crime: when I was in grade school I used to stick pretzel sticks in my banana so that it would have a crunch to it. I do not regret this since it tasted really good. I also did this with many other sweet & soft foods.

Bananas are one of the many foods that should not have bones.

(Trying to move food crimes asks to @food-crimes-blog)