#for fuck's sake she was trying to avoid the realization she was gonna have to KILL ORION

[ace-and-ranty]

What drives me insane about the fandom’s reaction to the El/Liesel storyline in TGE, is that. Listen.

Percico, in the PJO fandom, has a major popular fic, whose entire plot centers around Percy cheating on his girlfriend with Nico. I loathe that fic. I hate it so much. I despise it. I do not actually like seeing gay ships going canon on the basis of cheating, because cheating storylines ARE THE ACTUAL WORST. The fic murdered Percy’s character (he would not fucking do that), it disrespects his relationship with Annabeth (HE WOULD NOT FUCKING DO THAT), and in doing so cheapens and spoils the relationship with Nico which I’m here to read about.

El/Liesel was not fucking that.

[urdepressedslut]

Hello lovely,

I saw your post that your requests are open, so I will give it a try =)

Imagine Bucky and reader are best friends but they have a huge argument and now they don't talk to each other for days. She's feeling really bad, missing him. He is her most important person and now without interacting with him for days, she's feeling lost and lonely and heartbroken. Maybe she has not a super power and is only a normal human, helping the Avengers with IT or something. Due to the argument with her best friend and not talking to Bucky (Bucky ignores her completely) she begins to feel it not only mental but also physically. She can't eat probably and at the end falls deathly sick.... With a fluffy happy ending and a worried and protective Bucky

Please. That would be nice.

Take care honey

oh my goodness— my heart 😭❤️ the angst is gonna hurt, but i’m such a sucker for it. i had so much fun writing this one, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it🥰

Love Hurts

♡ Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You and Bucky get into a heated argument, things are said and done and now he won’t speak to you. You don’t think you can handle him ignoring your existence.

♡ Warnings: language, mentions of bucky’s trauma, heavy angst, malnourishment, depression, anxiety/panic attacks, minor injuries, hospitalization, suicidal ideation, self hate, literally hurt just writing this

main masterlist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+

Your nails bit into your palm, denting the flesh— threatening to pierce the delicate skin. It was all to hold yourself back, distract you from the words that wanted to burst out.

It was becoming a sickening routine, Bucky was reckless and had yet another near death experience on his recent mission. The anxiety and the nerves stopping your body from functioning— the dreaded wait for his jet to arrive back at the compound. You shouldn’t have to be used of receiving the call that he had yet again made a reckless move— but you were starting to discover a pattern.

It did nothing to ease the panic that swirled in your chest every time he left for missions. You’d sob, throwing up everything you had eaten that day— unable to stomach anything with the idea that Bucky was on a mission. You never found your anxiety to be so severe— but when Bucky was even mentioned about going on a mission… it spiked.

That’s where you found yourself in his room, watching him pace the space— avoiding your frustrated stare. You weren’t angry at him per say— you were angry that he didn’t value his life.

“Seriously (Y/n)— you get so worked up over nothing. I’m here and alive— isn’t that enough?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

You pressed your nails tighter to your palm, yet the pain couldn’t stop your thundering thoughts.

“You’re here and alive now, until you do some stupid shit like this again and are dead!” You hissed, trying to keep your voice low but you didn’t know how much longer you could control yourself.

He glared at you, squinting his eyes in anger and then rolling his eyes.

“Oh for fucks sake— can you stop fucking babying me? I can handle myself!” He raised his voice, his metal arm whirring.

“I’m not babying you— I’m just scared you’re gonna get yourself killed. Do you care about your life at all?” You asked him aggressively, your voice raising just a tad.

He took a long pause, staring at you with his face void of emotion— only annoyance.

“Not really.” He admitted.

You were taken back, although you had these conversations with him a time or twenty. It was an ongoing process to get him to slowly love himself— his past as The Winter Soldier torturing his soul. He was so convinced he wasn’t deserving of anything, not even a roof over his head. It was a struggle to help him, but you weren’t going to give up on him.

“You realize if anything ever happened to you I—” Your voice broke, needing a breath, “Buck I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You thought you saw his eyes flash with guilt, but before you could linger on the look for too long— his face was hardening again.

“That doesn’t sound like my problem.” He mumbled out, making your eyes widen.

You were extremely taken back from those words, your chest aching painfully— him not knowing what effect those words had on you.

“Are you fucking serious?” You asked him, your face morphing into a hurt expression, mixed with anger. “Can you just do your job without trying to kill yourself?”

His face grew red with rage and he was stomping up towards you— his face inches from yours.

“I am doing my job— very well in fact. Unlike you who just fucking sits here doing nothing!” He defended himself, his breath hitting your face in warm pants.

“Doing nothing? Buck— why are you like this?” You puffed your chest, not backing down from his towering form.

But your words seemed to have hit a nerve, as he shrunk back slightly, narrowing his gaze at you.

“Like what?”

You furrowed your brows, slowing your racing heart from the shouting— you weren’t sure you had said anything bad. Did you?

“What?” You squeaked out, nervous now.

“You said, why am I like this… like what?” He pushed, stepping closer to you now, his face still red with anger but you could see the hurt in his eyes.

You swallowed and wondered how to convince him you didn’t mean anything bad by what you said. But you were almost positive it would be an impossible task to get Bucky to listen.

“Buck, I didn’t mean anythin—”

“What— you think I’m not capable of doing my job? You think I’m still the monster hydra made me?” He spat, his chest rising and falling quicker.

“No, no Buck listen—”

That was definitely not what you meant, you could tell he was spiraling and you were still confused as to why. You would never make him think that.

“After 70 fucking years I finally have a job that I like— that I enjoy doing— I fucking help people! I’m finally doing some good and now you’re telling me I’m not capable of doing it?” He boomed, his chest puffing into yours and your stumbled back slightly. “You think I’m only capable of being a monster? Huh? Is that what you fucking think?”

You were growing scared now, the look in his eyes wild with something and you didn’t like how close he was to you— you knew he’d never hurt you but your fear overwhelmed your senses.

“Friday— call Steve and Sam in here now!” You shouted into the room, and Bucky’s eyes squinted painfully— his metal arm whirring again.

Bucky only saw one thing— you didn’t reassure him that he was thinking irrationally. You didn’t correct him that he wasn’t the monster. Instead you called for help, that you were clearly scared— because you thought he was a monster.

He was at a loss for words and just stared at you, almost through you— as his breathing was only getting heavier at the sight of your fearful eyes.

Not even minutes later, Steve and Sam were busting through the door, taking in the scene and separated you and Bucky.

“Hey— what’s going on?” Steve asked in between the two of you. “Buck, what’s wrong man?”

You couldn’t seem to find the words and just stood speechless as well— the fight startling you. This was one of the worst ones, and it was also one that still left you confused. You cursed yourself for not being careful enough with your words— but it was almost impossible to get through to him when he was on the brink of having an episode.

Sam walked closer to you, his facing morphing into concern as he took in your shocked expression.

“(Y/n)? You okay? Did he hurt you?” Sam whispered, keeping his words only between you two.

You slowly shook your head but still didn’t respond verbally.

“Okay, okay that’s good. You wanna go get a drink from downstairs? Why don’t we take a breather okay?” Sam suggested softly, big brother mode kicking in at the sight of your frazzled state.

Without another word, you left the room with Sam— missing the devastated look from Bucky.

Steve waited until the door shut, then his attention was back on Bucky.

“Buck, you gotta talk to me man— what happened?” He asked softly, watching his friend slowly relax, but it wasn’t from being in a relaxing mood— his body and mind were just exhausted from the argument.

“I fucked everything up. That’s what happened.” He mumbled, turning away from Steve to sit on the edge of his bed.

Steve followed behind but stood in front of him, shaking his head— ready to argue.

“You didn’t mess anything up, arguments happen. You guys will work it out. I know how much you mean to each other.” Steve pointed out, watching Bucky’s face unchanging.

“You didn’t see the way she looked at me— she’s scared of me I—” He shuttered, his breath shaky as he remembered your look, “I fucking scared her.”

Steve’s chest ached, the state of his friend breaking his heart. He knew Bucky meant no harm, and he almost for a fact knew that you knew that too. But Bucky for sure didn’t believe that himself.

“I didn’t see what you saw, but I can guarantee you that she’s not afraid of you. This is (Y/n) we are talking about. You are her world Buck.” Steve tried to convince him.

Bucky shook his head, running his flesh hand through his hair.

“I think I just need to stay away from her for awhile.” Bucky came up with instead.

Steve immediately started shaking his head, knowing that was the last thing he needed.

“Bucky I—”

“Please Steve… I just need some space.” Bucky pleaded, his body sagging in exhaustion.

Steve couldn’t find it in himself to argue with him anymore about this. Maybe he did need some time to himself, to cool down and gather his thoughts. Also Steve wasn’t going to force him to anything ever. After the years his pal went through— he would never make him do anything. He had enough things decided for him, and Steve wasn’t about to stoop to hydra’s level.

Meanwhile down in the kitchen, Sam was getting you a glass of water— standing across from your seated form at the island. He slid the cup across, sending a worried glance at you.

“(Y/n)?” Sam snapped his fingers getting your attention.

You were shaken from your state of staring, but even snapped out of the trance— the anxieties still swirled within you.

“Yeah sorry… I’m here.” You whispered, grabbing the glass and taking a tiny sip.

Sam gave you a quizzical expression, watching you start to slip back into a mindless stare— so he spoke up.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” He asked, genuinely curious what had went down.

He knew— hell everyone knew you and Bucky were extremely close. Best of friends, always there for one another— dancing on the line of strictly friends to lovers. Truthfully, Sam found it completely obnoxious and just wanted you two together already.

“I don’t really know… I think I said the wrong thing— I didn’t mean to make him upset.” You confessed, keeping your eyes on the countertop, not risking a glance to Sam.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up— mistakes happen. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Sam told you.

You shook your head, gripping the cup tighter.

“God I hope so… I don’t know what I’d do without him.” You whispered pathetically, tears welling in your eyes.

Sam reached out to rub your arm comfortingly, trying to relax you so you didn’t start crying. He hated to see you cry— made his heart hurt.

“It’s been a long day for everyone, why don’t you go head upstairs and get some sleep. I’m sure things will have blown over by tomorrow.” He suggested and you finally met his gaze, smiling weakly and nodding.

Without saying goodbye, you stood up and headed to your room. Taking Sam’s words and playing them on repeat in your head.

Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow would be better.

God had you hoped that was the case— it only was the beginning on the torment.

You had slept in longer than usual, but overall felt refreshed. The first thing that came to mind when fully waking up was Bucky. Immediately you headed downstairs to find him— needing to talk with him— apologize.

Making it down to the kitchen, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in at the sight of him sitting at the island— sipping at his coffee. You furrowed your brows, thinking he'd be done with his coffee by now, since you had slept in. Your chest ached with guilt with the possibility that he didn't sleep well.

You took a deep breath before making yourself known, although you were sure be could sense you in the room— considering he was a super soldier.

"Morning Buck." You announced, walking around the island so you could face him.

He kept his gaze down at his coffee, finding the cup more interesting than you.

Okay, that’s fair. You thought, you most probably deserved that reaction.

“You sleep okay?” You asked again, picking at the skin on your nails nervously.

Again— he didn’t even lift his head. In fact, he wasn’t even acknowledging you. You waited several minutes for a response, the silence becoming thick with tension and you couldn’t stand it.

“Bucky?” You tried, and this time he lifted his head.

Your heart twinged in your chest at his bloodshot eyes, clear evidence that he hadn’t gotten good sleep. You hated yourself for causing him the stress, especially knowing he was just starting to actually get hours of sleep. It was huge progress compared to his nights either screaming awake or just staring at the walls. But now you had to go and ruin all that progress. You felt sick to your stomach— disgusted with yourself.

“I’m really sorry about last night… I didn’t like how ugly it got and I’m sorry if I said something to upset you— you know I’d never intentionally hurt you.” You told him, picking more aggressively at your nails, causing to nail beds to bleed.

You swallowed nervously when he didn’t answer right away, instead staring at you with… what was that? Disgust? You didn’t know, but you hated the look altogether.

“Bucky, please say something.” You pleaded.

Bucky lowered his gaze to his coffee again, taking a minute before he stood up and looked your way.

“I just need some space.” He told you quietly.

You were relived to have him finally talk to you, but to hear him suggest space between you two— you could almost feel the knife digging into your chest. You tried to keep a neutral expression but otherwise felt your bottom lip quiver.

Without giving you time to respond, Bucky was walking out of the room— leaving you standing there speechless, lungs begging for air. You didn’t want your mind to go immediately to that thought, but you couldn’t ignore it either— he hated you.

“Hey babe, I need you to help me out in the lab tod—” Tony came busting into the room, but immediately shut up once he saw your broken expression. “Honey, what’s wrong? You alright?”

You nodded your head, lying to him and yourself and started waving him off with the fakest smile.

“Yeah— yeah I’m good. Just need to uh— need to get some things done.” You told him, your eyes darting all around the room, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into your being.

Tony gave you a ‘really?’ look and stepped closer to you.

“(Y/n) I’m not blind— I can see you’re upset. Talk to m—”

“Seriously Tony— I’m fine! Just leave it alone!” You told him a little too aggressively.

His face was taken back and you felt guilty immediately, cursing yourself for hurting everyone.

Why are you such a fucking issue? Your mind screamed at you.

You didn’t waste another second and sped walked out of the room, needing to calm yourself down before you ran into any one else. You were spiraling and you needed to just relax— take a deep breath. Maybe you just needed one more day and things would be back to normal.

Yeah… just one more day.

You had hoped that was the case as well… but as always— things only got worse.

Bucky refused to talk to you or even look at you. He’d given you the cold shoulder for almost two weeks now. He would get up and leave the second you entered the room. He couldn’t stand you it seemed.

You couldn’t keep hiding your hurt. At first, you had done a good job at hiding how you were really feeling. Saving the sobbing and attacks for when you were alone in your room. As the days lingered on, you found yourself weak and drained— you didn’t have enough energy to put up a charade anymore.

The whole team were sending you worried looks, and attempted to talk with you. But the second they’d try— you’d bolt. The subject was too sensitive, too raw. You didn’t want to talk to anyone but Bucky— and he hated you.

You had missed so many meals, forgetting to eat with your mental struggles throughout the days. You had been getting no more than two hours of sleep. You were so stressed, so stuck in your own mind that you couldn’t function. Even when you had managed to remember to eat, your stomach would knot up to the point that you were throwing everything up. You were gaunt, basically a real life zombie. You needed help— but you needed Bucky more.

You were laying in bed staring unknowingly into space, it had been hard to focus with no food or sleep in your system— so you had only managed to lay here. Even that was exhausting, no matter how much you laid around— your mind wouldn’t stop the assault. Your anxiety had never been this bad, you were a prisoner to it.

Knocking at your door had you jumping, your heart racing— and for a moment you forgot where you were.

You’re in the compound… yeah that’s right.

You slowed your breathing and swung your legs sluggishly over the edge of the bed to answer it. You weren’t prepared for the sudden dizzy spell, your vision spotting with black and white specks. You tried to blink it off, but suddenly you were toppling to the ground.

You fell to the floor with a loud thump, luckily landing on your front, your hands somehow catching most of your fall— you could already feel the throbbing in your palms.

You didn’t hear the persistent knocking, or the door open. You didn’t even hear the voice speaking from the doorway. It was when a hand landed on your shoulder that you were gasping, forgetting your surroundings once again.

Your eyes met Steve’s and you swore your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

“(Y/n) are you alright?” He asked you, hovering his hands over you— not sure what you had hurt.

You furrowed your brows, looking him over.

“Steve what are… what are you doing here?” You asked genuinely confused.

You watched Steve’s eyes widen and he swallowed nervously— his expression growing more concerned.

“(Y/n) it’s okay… I’ve got you.” Steve hushed, and he was pulling you into his chest, hugging you protectively.

You were still confused but then you tasted one of your stray tears, and you immediately came to your senses. You were crying in Steve’s arms… but why? You were having gaps of time missing from you, this wasn’t the first time this had happened— you just didn’t seem to care.

“Steve… my head hurts.” You slurred into his chest, sagging against him.

You were grateful that he was here, you desperately needed someone around. You were just hoping that someone would’ve been Bucky.

“Okay, let’s get you to Helen. She’s gonna take care of you, okay?” Steve asked you, and you could only give a weak nod.

He knew there was no way you were walking there, so he hoisted you up into his arms, and cradled your head as he started to the med bay.

You just stared blankly at his chest, not really caring if Steve were to throw you off the roof of the building. You just didn’t care.

Steve had gotten you down to her, and she checked you out. Alerting Steve that you were extremely malnourished, dehydrated— an insomniac. She kept listing off all the things Steve was afraid to hear. The whole time he was sure you didn’t hear a thing, although you were in the room— you were just checked out.

Helen eventually left, and Steve took his opportunity to speak with you. He pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed and grabbed your hand.

“(Y/n), what’s going on? You can talk to me— you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Please… just talk to me.” Steve whispered, pleading with you that you would stop torturing yourself.

“He hates me.” You mumbled.

Steve’s eyes widened and he frowned, knowing what you meant. He knew he let this go on for too long.

“(Y/n) he doesn’t hate you. He just needed time to himself, so he co—”

“I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, I don’t even know what I said to hurt him but I—” You rushed out, the heart monitor beeping frantically, “I’m a horrible person, I didn’t mean to— I didn’t mean to!”

You wheezed out, clutching your chest as you couldn’t catch your breath. Your cheeks glistened with a steady stream of tears, your wheezing only growing by the second.

“Okay, okay (Y/n)— I need you to slow your breathing. You’re okay, he doesn’t hate you. Just take deep breaths okay— even if you can’t just try. I’m here.” He tried to coach you, but this wasn’t his thing.

Now he was starting to get mad at his friend, Bucky shouldn’t of let this go on for this long.

You followed his chest rising and falling, staring at him as he tried to calm you down. Your breaths were heavy and painful sounding. Steve was about to say something but stopped himself when he saw your eyes look behind him.

He turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway— his face paled. Truthfully, he looked like he was going to be sick.

“(Y/n)?” He whispered, his heart breaking at your state.

He had ran into Helen in the kitchen and was informed of your condition— he didn’t believe it and had to see for himself. He was shocked to find you like this.

Your tears only edged on from his appearance and you shook your head in shame.

“I’m sorry Bucky! Whatever I did, I’m sorry!” You sobbed and Bucky ran to the bed, kneeling down and taking your hands into his.

“Doll it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here— I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you… I’m sorry.” He rushed out, shushing your cries, watching you slow your breathing at his words. “There we go, just keep breathing with me. I’m here, you’re okay.”

He kept repeating himself, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Steve knew you were in good hands and slowly snuck out of the room— knowing you two needed to talk.

Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers trail down your cheek to your jaw. You couldn’t help the way your face leaned into his touch, it felt like it had been forever since the last one.

Your breathing had slowed down, and now you just stared up at him— eyes glossy with more tears. You felt so many emotions. You felt relived, but also angry and hurt. Above all— you needed to know what you did to upset him. The guilt still ate away at your heart, and even just the memory of the argument had your chest aching.

“What did I do?” You whispered, making his eyes shoot up to yours, concern painting his face.

“You didn’t do anything.” He told you, and you furrowed your brows.

You were still anxious— he hadn’t answered your question. Even more so— if you didn’t do anything then why did he ignore you?

“Then why?”

“Why what (Y/n)?” He dared to ask, and you scoffed— ripping your hands out of his.

The anger was approaching.

“Why did you shut me out?” You wondered, and he only let his eyes cast down to the bed— making you angrier. “You ignored me for two weeks! Two fucking weeks you just acted as if I didn’t exist! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”

You were breathing heavy again, but this time it wasn’t from panic— it was the full force of all your anger bursting out.

He lifted his eyes to you, and you saw how broken he looked. How your state had affected him.

“I could never do that to you Buck— I would never do that to you! You’re my everything! I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust you!” You raised your voice, while he stayed silent. “If I didn’t do anything then why would you— why—”

You broke out into a sob, covering your face with your hands. You felt good getting all the built up anger out— but now you felt extremely guilty. The pitiful face of Bucky staring at you, causing your heart to hurt all over again. It didn’t matter what happened, you always ended up hurting others.

“(Y/n) I’m so sorry I— god I fucked up. I didn’t ever mean to hurt you, please know that. You’re my other half, and no one has ever been there for me like you have.” He spoke through a tight throat, swelling with emotion.

You uncovered your face and just stared at him a little longer, still incredibly hurt from his actions— but you knew you couldn’t stay mad at him. You so badly wanted to forgive and forget— and just wrap him in your arms like you both needed.

“It’s hard to explain what’s wrong with me to someone when I don’t even understand what’s wrong with me— I just know I’m fucked up. I’m broken beyond repair.” His voice broke, his own eyes welling with tears.

You didn’t have it in you to keep up an angry facade, and so you reached out and took his hand in yours. His face almost immediately lit up, his breathing slowing at your touch.

“Try me.” You whispered, watching Bucky take a deep breath before he spoke again.

“The night of our fight…” He started, and you swallowed in having to remember that night. “I had never seen you look at me like that.”

You stayed silent, afraid to open your mouth and have a sob escape. You could feel it bubbling up— the memory playing back through your mind.

“You looked at me like you were scared. You looked at me like I was a monster.” He confessed and it all made sense to you now.

It wasn’t about what you said, it was your reaction that disturbed him to no ends. Even if you couldn’t control your reaction in the moment— you still felt guilty for causing him pain of remembering the hydra days.

“Oh Buck…” You whimpered, trying to pull him close— but he pulled away before he could reach your embrace.

“No— you don’t get to be nice to me after what I did. I promised I would never hurt you and I did— you’re in here because of me! I don’t deserve your forgiveness!” He raised his voice, and you weren’t scared of him— just concerned.

“I wasn’t scared of you Bucky, you just caught me off guard. Things were heated— I’m not afraid of you and I most definitely don’t think you’re a monster.” You tried to convince him.

“I really hope you’re not lying because if you were afraid of me… god I don’t know what I’d do. If you never wanted to see me again— that’s fine. Whatever you want, but I can’t live knowing you’re afraid of me.” He whimpered out.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He nodded his head, knowing damn well you’d never lie. That was one thing he loved about you— you were so honest. Keeping it real with him, even if he didn’t wanna hear it. He could count on you for the truth.

“I still don’t deserve your forgiveness.” He argued.

“Well too bad, I’m forgiving you anyway.” You finally told him and he felt his chest expand.

Like he could finally breath.

“Why?” He wondered.

You knew it was the line you two had been dancing on forever— but you knew if there was ever a time to say it. It was now.

“Because I love you.” You admitted quietly.

His eyes widened just slightly, and his breath stuttered. He had always had a feeling what you two had was more than friends, he just never spoke up about it. Of course he loves you too— god he loves you so much. That’s why the thought of you being scared of him was enough to pull him away. He couldn’t bear being around you if you were frightened by him. He couldn’t live with himself. More importantly he now discovered, he really couldn’t live without you.

“I love you so much.” He confessed back as your tears leaked down your cheeks.

You pulled his arm, and he let you pull him to the bed— close enough where you could cup both his cheeks.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, please. I need you Bucky— life is not livable without you.” You cried, kissing his forehead to which he leaned into your lips.

“Never again— I promise.”

This time, he wouldn’t break it.

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TAGLIST: @engie115 @kmc1989 @ghostofwinter @silverfire13 @goldylions @potatothots @billy-reads @hanihoney88 @skittle479 @hereticdance @mentalidrainedfangirl @natashassandwich @marvelogic @soul-system @alinasmcu @almosttoopizza @lilbabygirll @sebastiansstanswhore @yujyujj @jasminocano

[babygorewhore]

10 things I hate about you part three.

Logan Howlett x fem reader

The tension between you and Logan finally comes to a head in this final part.

Part one.

Part two

I found out my dog has cancer today. It’s been a horrible day but I still wanted to write and finish this series. I apologize if it’s shitty but I’m just tired. Can’t wait to write more of him. And if I didn’t tag you when you’ve asked, I simply didn’t remember.

Warnings! Angst! Talks of troubled past! Talk of death! Violence! Arguing! Oral! Fem receiving! Degrading! Praise! Unprotected sex! Hair pulling! Age gap! Reader is late 20s and Logan is late 40s!

“Keep glaring at me and your face is gonna get stuck like that.” You say without looking at Logan who was grumbling to himself.

You both were sitting at a diner the next morning from the all night ride on the bus. Your clothes were messy and your entire body worn out. Logan did allow you to rest on his shoulder until he nudged you awake and told you that you were getting off at this stop.

The waitress set down a pot of coffee, sugar and creams prepared. You were shocked to see Logan give her something close to a smile.

“I take it you want the usual order, James?” The older woman asked and he nodded. She turned to you and grinned.

“Ah, who’s this lovely lady?” You told her your name and she glanced between you both. “I’m glad to see him with someone.” His soft expression hardened and you cleared your throat.

“May I please have blueberry muffins?”

“Of course, sugar. Coming right up.” She chirped and walked away.

“I’ve never heard anyone call you by your first name.” You spoke and Logan rolled his broad shoulders.

“Yeah well that’s how I introduced myself to her.” He replied tiredly and leaned back. “Why didn’t you tell me what your power was?”

Logan’s question was one you wanted to keep avoiding at all costs. Your answer was complicated and you anticipated a poor reaction from you. You didn’t answer and his jaw flexed.

“Alright, bub. You wanna play this game with me? Fine. But I hope for your sake you have one hell of a reason for what you did.”

“Can we just not argue for five minutes?” You sighed and widened your eyes. “It fucking sucked. I get it. You don’t need to keep repeating it.”

To your surprise, he mumbled “Fine.” And watched you take a drink of the hot coffee. “Where are your parents?”

His personal inquiry took you by surprise and you paused. Logan’s dark eyebrow raised in expectation and you purposely took a long sip of coffee.

“They’re gone.” You answered in response and he tilted his head to the side. You exhaled and cleared your throat, setting your mug down. “My father is in prison. And my mother is dead. I killed her.”

Logan snorted and rolled his eyes but then focused when he saw your gaze hardened. He realized you weren’t joking. He opened his mouth but the waitress came with a tray, she set down his meal and two blueberry muffins for you.

“Can I get you a refill?” She asked and you nodded with a wide smile in thanks.

“Yes, please.”

You could tell Logan was itching to ask you more but waited for her to come back. “Leave the pot if you don’t mind.” He quietly asked and she took the hint.

You weren’t getting out of this conversation and you pushed around the food on your plate. “You heard me correctly. I murdered my mother.”

Logan narrowed his eyes. “Nice try but I’m not a dumbass. I know well enough. You’re not a killer. Something happened and she ended up dead.”

You flicked a hair out of your face and crossed your arms. “You don’t know anything about me. That’s something you’re missing. You just make assumptions about people because you’re bitter and angry at the world.”

This bravery was coming from exhaustion and discomfort but Logan wasn’t falling for your attempt. “She tried to kill me. And I had to stop her.”

“So you cover up all this shit with false charm and wit to distract people from the past? Interesting.”

You smirk. “It’s not false.”

“And you make some bet with the iceman, who wants to fuck you, that you can make me like you because of some dumb crush on me?”

Your heart plummets and you begin to shake.

“You also think I’m stupid. You think I’m so fuckin dumb that I don’t these games you play with people. All of this? All this pretending you do? It’s just an act to keep everyone from seeing what’s really inside. A sad little girl who was abandoned. And you’re hoping someone will help pick up the pieces. Well, it’s not me. Get it through your head.”

You sat in silence after he finished grounding out his lecture with a wave of different emotions. Shame that he knew about the bet. Sadness from him using that against you even though it was true and finally anger coursed through you.

Your first instinct was to get up. Run out of the building and hide away. Maybe even just leave him there and escape back to the school on your own. But that’s not what you did.

Your focus sharpened and Logan blinked a few times as he realized that he couldn’t talk or move. He was extremely strong, stronger than you could have ever imagined as he resisted but your growing temper was keeping him still as you leaned in close.

“I’m sorry about the bet. I shouldn’t have done something so stupid and I know that. But don’t you ever act like you have some kind of idea about me or my life. That would require you to think of anyone else but yourself. Don’t ever bring up that my parents abandoned me. I wish they did. I wish they would have left me instead of what happened.”

At the last word, you finally released him and Logan jerked. He huffed a breath as he watched you stand with red rimmed eyes.

“Xavier found me underneath a pile of a broken house. If it wasn’t for the table above me, I would have been dead that night. And now, I’m just trying to help other people. I’m just trying to be a good person. I didn’t mean to like you and sometimes I don’t even know why. You’re not nice to me. You’ve treated me like shit the entire time. And I don’t deserve that.”

You exited the diner as tears streamed down your cheeks. Your footsteps carried you back to the bus stop for this never ending trip. You’d have to get a new phone, otherwise you’d call someone to come and get you.

You sat on the bench for almost an hour when you heard his heavy footsteps approaching but your eyes remained on the road. Logan sat down next to you, his thigh almost touching yours.

“You’re right. You didn’t deserve that.”

You didn’t give him a response and through the corner of your eye, he faced you. “Susan, the waitress let me use her phone. Couple of people are headed our way to get us.”

You still remained quiet and Logan sighed.

“There’s also a trailer she owns behind the diner. She offered for us to stay there until they arrive.”

“No thanks.” You aimed your body to the side.

“I’m trying to make things right.” He started and you whipped to face him.

“And you’re doing a really shitty job, Wolverine.” You hissed his xmen name like venom and he actually recoiled. The big strong warrior flinched from you. “So please. Spare me the poor attempt and shut the fuck up.”

You’d never spoken to him like that and you got up. You began to storm off, searching for the trailer he spoke of when you felt a hand graze your elbow. In a rage, you twirled on your heel and put your hand on his firm chest.

“Stop chasing after me. You made your point. I was so fucking stupid for making the bet. The only thing you will ever care about is a woman who never chose you. She never chose you! I hid my powers from you because I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want you to think of her when you’d see me use them. I just wanted to spend time with you.” You whispered the last part and Logan’s eyes squeezed shut.

His fingers wrapped around your wrist but to your surprise he gently stroked the skin. Logan’s hold firmed and he tugged you closer to him. Your shoes touched his and he leaned his head down.

“Staying away from me is the best thing anyone can do. Everyone who gets close to me ends up dead. And I won’t have more blood on my hands.” Logan was rejecting you again but his gaze darted to your lips.

But you were the one to pull away.

Logan allowed you to move towards the trailer without another word and you both scanned the small space. There was only one bed but there was a couch as well. You automatically leaned towards the sofa and he stopped you.

“I’ll take the couch. You sleep on the mattress.” He grunted.

You didn’t argue.

You woke to Logan shouting in his sleep. His claws shot out of his knuckles and you kept a safe distance as he woke himself up. Your lower lip was pulled between your teeth as sweat came from his skin and he wildly looked around.

He heaved and sunk his claws back into the bone.

“I get them too.” You offered and he looked up at you.

“I would give anything to have one peaceful night of fucking sleep.” He whispered and you nodded. You took a risk and shifted around. Your legs hung off the bed and you climbed off. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I can help you sleep.”

Logan’s lips tightened. “Pills don’t work for me.”

“I mean using my mutation.” When he didn’t reply you deflated. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive. I know you probably don’t like anyone in your head-“

“Yes.”

His agreement surprised you and you stopped short. You didn’t want him to change his mind about it so you quickly extended a hand. You rested your hand on his dark hair, absentmindedly stroking the soft strands and your heart fluttered.

“Just breathe.”

Logan shut his eyes and allowed you to search his mind for a happy memory. You half expected to see Jean but you instead saw him overseeing a class you instructed. You were smiling in his mind, unaware of him watching and you drew a diagram on a board. It was a calm class that was just an ordinary day.

You continued moving around his thoughts and saw even more images of yourself. Moments of you in the kitchen, play fighting with friends. You saw a time where you played with a service dog outside.

You then proceeded to dig deeper and saw young him. Quietly reading in a large bedroom, decorated in items that were older.

You dropped your hand and came back to the present. Logan’s breathing slowed and he didn’t look tense.

“You’re always so kind to people. Even when they don’t deserve it.” He chuckled. “You’re funny. Especially at night when you try to make the kids go to bed.” Logan looked into your eyes. “You don’t care what people think of you.”

“I didn’t know you even saw those things.” You whispered.

“Why would I want to ruin someone’s sunshine?” He countered and you leaned down.

“You don’t ruin anything, Wolverine.”

“I like that you use my name.” He admitted in a low voice and you swallowed thickly.

“Logan, I wouldn’t hurt you. Not on purpose. I didn’t mean to be so annoying-“

“I like that you push my buttons. You don’t let me be an asshole. You’re like a…puppy.” Logan smiled. It was a genuine one then it dropped. “I shouldn’t have said what I did earlier. Whatever happened between you and your family-it must have been a nightmare.”

“My mother was convinced I was a demon. She did things that were crazy but one night she snapped. And she tried to kill me. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I just wanted her to stop.” You shuddered at the memory. “I have nightmares about her. That’s why I always stay up late.”

“Can’t say it gets better. Wish I could. After hundreds of years, I still remember every life I’ve taken. But you-“ He struggled to find the words. “Eventually, you can find meaning in this shitty world. You’re doing it with all those kids.”

“Well, well, Logan, you’ve given me a compliment.” Your teasing made him look at your proximity.

“Yeah. Think you’ve heard enough of me being a dick. Might as well tell ya something nice.” He huffed and you didn’t know what came over you. You bent down and pressed a light kiss to his cheek.

You yanked back, startled by your own action. “I’m so sorry, you just-“

“Fuck it.”

Logan stood up and wrapped his massive hand around the back of your head. Your parted lips allowed him to easily crush his mouth to yours and you felt the back of your knees hit the mattress.

His kiss was bruising at first, hungry the way he moved on top of you between your legs. Logan’s hair fell forward and grazed your forehead as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. You yelped as he tore away from your lips and peppered needy kisses along your jaw. “Logan-I don’t want you to feel like you need to-“

“Wanted to fuck you when you were on that goddamn stage.” He growled, tearing apart the top of your clothing. Exposing your chest and bra, Logan ran his tongue across your skin and nipped it with his teeth.

“I’m gonna fuckin ruin you.” He promises and you whimper.

Logan trails his fingers along your curves, his warmth searing against your bare flesh and his facial hair tickling your neck. “Such a pretty body. I’m gonna taste that pretty pussy and you’re gonna take it like a good girl, huh?” He huskily announces.

Even in your wildest dreams, you still couldn’t have imagined the moment of Logan Howlett tearing away your panties and groaning deeply. Your nipples hardened as he rolled two girthy fingers around your clit and gave it a spank.

“What’s the matter? Can’t handle being smacked around a little?” Logan darkly whispered and smeared your wetness around your folds. You threw your head back and whined as he dragged his lips down your stomach, pelvis and finally hovered above your cunt.

He eagerly dragged his tongue and licked you like melting ice cream. You buried your hands in his hair and pulled, moaning a slew of swear words as Logan drooled against your pussy. He slipped inside your entrance, filling you partially and you cried out.

Logan roughly turned you around, separating your ass and continued to eat your pussy. This angle was somehow deeper as your chest pressed against the mattress and you let out pornographic sounds. He held your calves down as he sucked and licked your cunt.

It was overwhelming and you were just about to hit your peak when he yanked away. But you didn’t have time to miss the contact when you heard Logan unbuckle his belt. You turned your head and looked over your shoulder.

You needed to enjoy every second of this so you maneuvered around and sat on your heels. You were breathless as Logan pulled down his pants and boxers. His dick was big, as you expected but it was so thick and leaked with precum.

“Don’t look so scared now, princess.” He hoarsely laughed and you stopped him from taking his shirt off.

“Let me.” He allowed you to peel it off and you admired his muscular torso. Your hands traced every avenue and his stomach tightened as your fingers moved above his v-line.

“Like what you see?”

“Mhm. You’re perfect.” You said sincerely and he pressed his lips to yours again. You tasted yourself on his tongue as he laid you on your back.

Logan wasn’t a gentle man by any means but he was tender in the way he held back his superhuman strength. He didn’t want to hurt you. He ran the tip of his cock along your slit and breathed through gritted teeth.

He pushed inside you, his dick stretching your cunt and you let out a throaty groan. You felt it pulse as he thrusted, filling you to the brim and his balls slapped against your ass.

“Cmon. You can take it, now you’re not so mouthy.” Logan snarled as your eyes rolled back and he lifted your legs up. Adding to the intensity as he fucked you. “Such a good girl, pussy squeezing me.”

You were nearly wailing and your nails dug into his back. He ran his tongue along your pulse point. “I’m-I can’t-fuck!” You squealed as Logan wrapped his hand around your neck.

“You gonna let me fill you up? Cum in you over and over again?”

You nodded rapidly.

“I’m not some little bitch. I don’t just bust a load in two seconds. You’re gonna cum and suck my cock with that pretty pussy till you can’t see anymore.” He promised and your vision whitened.

Your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave and you were sobbing. Logan fucked you through it, using your leaking arousal to add further slip as he pounded you. Your head lulled to the side but he shook his head.

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna hold you up.”

You were back on your knees and looking at the wall as he slammed back into you.

“That’s it, milk my cock like the slut you are. You gonna be a good girl and take it all for me?” He mocked and you gasped for air between crying.

“Cum in me, god please, cum in me, please! Please!” You begged and Logan slapped your ass so hard you squeaked.

He tangled his big fingers in your hair and controlled your rhythm as he made you bounce on it.

Logan shouted and rested his head on your back as he creamed in you. You felt warm ropes of cum spill and leak out. Another orgasm hit you hard and you bit the top of your hand.

His stamina was endless, you knew that but he did finally pull you into his chest after five rounds.

You laid there in silent bliss for several seconds and felt him press a sweet kiss to your temper.

“You free Friday night?” He asked and you perked up with a grin spreading across your face.

“Are you asking me out?”

“I’m trying to-“

You giggle and cup his face, kissing him hard. Logan rests his hand on your lower back.

“Yes. I’m free.” He gives you another rare soft smile and hums.

“Gives me time to find a decent car. Gotta do at least one thing right.” You gently touch his cheek and nuzzle against him.

“Logan?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m feeling deep urges to bite you.”

“Oh, here we go.”

Dividers by @strangergraphics

Tagging @xxbimbobunnyxx @marchsfreakshow @taintandviolent @starkeysprincess @nemesyaaa

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Negan glanced over as the door opened and then slammed shut, expecting to see Daryl again with another lecture for him. But when he saw it was you, and especially when he saw the conflicted look on your face, the glassiness in your eyes, he sat up straight on his cot.

He gulped and waited to see if you would say something, but after a long moment you simply paced in front of his cell. He gulped, his eyes following your figure across the floor and back... across and back... "Daryl said she's gonna be okay."

You stopped, your shoes scuffing in the dried silt on the floor. You looked at him for a long moment and then nodded, gripping onto one of the cold iron bars. "Yeah. She'll be alright. Eventually." Your expression softened as you thought of Lydia.

Negan swept his tongue out over his lower lip, his eyes still fixed on you. "So—"

"You're a fucking asshole, you know that?" you snapped at him, but your tone wasn't exactly angry, at least not entirely. "I mean, seriously. What the fuck are we supposed to do with you?"

His hazel eyes simply stared back at you, bathed in confusion. "I—"

"No, honestly, Negan." Your other hand came to grip another bar of his cell and he saw that your knuckles were white and you seemed to be slightly shaky. "People are talking about executing you out there. "

He nodded and tilted his head. "Well... People want a villain. Who am I to disappoint them?" he said.

"For fuck's sake! Can you be serious for one moment! I know it was an accident. I know that!" There was almost a wild panic in your eyes. "But they're going to kill you! So, what am I supposed to do here? Please, if you have an idea, tell me!"

Negan felt a pang in his chest as he realized you were genuinely fearful for him. It was more than he ever expected to get from you. Was it possible that you actually—no. That couldn't be... "I'm not your problem, doll," he said. His voice was measured and calm. "Maybe it's just time that I pay for my past sins. Lord knows there's a fucking steaming pile of 'em."

Your jaw was set as you looked at him and then you swore under your breath and suddenly dug a ring of keys out of your pocket.

"What are you doing?" Negan asked, his brow furrowing as he watched you unlock his cell. He was on his feet the next moment.

"Saving your ass," you said, pulling the door open. "You have to leave. Now."

Negan drifted over to you, perplexed, and stood at the threshold of his cell. Freedom was one step away. But instead of rushing out, or heading for the door, his eyes flickered over your face. "You're letting me go?"

You nodded once, your eyes avoiding his. You were afraid if you held them any longer... well, you didn't know what, but something would happen. "Yeah. You need to get out. Go somewhere else. Find new people. Start over."

Negan gulped but still didn't move. His eyes traced the graceful line of your neck and curve of your jawline in the flickering light of the lanterns. "What if I don't want to leave?"

Your stomach flipped and your eyes shot up to meet his again. You swallowed down the bubble that was expanding, almost ready to burst, in your chest. You shook your head. "You have to. I'm not sure Michonne, or Daryl, or me can save you this time... You have to go. while you still have a chance."

Negan thought about arguing, thought about trying to convince you to leave with him, but he knew you wouldn't. You had too many roots in this place. He turned back to his cell and hurriedly gathered the few meager possessions he had. He stopped beside you at the threshold again. "Just for the record, you are the best fuckin' thing about this place."

And then he was gone, breezing out of the room, and you were surprised by how empty you suddenly felt.

Prompt: "People want a villain and who am I to disappoint them?" Happy Wicked Wednesday, ya'll!

[peachyfnaf]

Morning peachy!

Happy Friday, I was scrolling through your blog and literally didn't realize you were the one that made the Nexus design that lives in my head rent free. I love your art and vibes ❤️🥰❤️

I'm at the part when Old Moon is back and met Earth it's SO AWKWARD

I don't like it (not mad he's back but it's just the entire lead up has me upset)

I was watching Baby Moon/New Moon and Earth like you said and idk, I think it's really messed up how everything went down. Earth seemed to jump to a lot of conclusions about New Moon and she seemed really upset but also I don't think what New Moon said to push her away was actually that mean. Maybe it's just me?

I also didn't like how Sun went to others for help because he's so lost on what to do with New Moon and everyone was just "let's kill him"

I'm so messed up over this....

What's your thoughts on this? I want to know your observations 👀✍️

First off,

SNIFFS. bro your art and your vibes are INCREDIBLE so that compliment means a whole lot to me. tysm <3

Second off, oh-ho-ho. my friend, you've just opened up pandora's box for me. this response is gonna be a long one, let's see how incomprehensible it will get-

(Also, just so anyone who doesn't know me knows, I'm currently not watching the security breach shows due to a bit of burnout, but mostly due to me not liking the current sams arc. I'm just avoiding it for the sake of me mental health. sooo if I bring up something that has already been acknowledged/fixed/changed in canon, forgive me <3. for sams, I have knowledge up to about "brothers REUNITE in vrchat", so. just go into this knowing that lol)

OKAY. AHEM. DISCLAIMERS DONE. HERE WE GO.

Don't have much to say about "I don't like it (not mad he's back but it's just the entire lead up has me upset)" other than I 1000% agree. I (again, personally) actually don't like that he's back, mostly because the lead up to O.M's return felt very rushed, it makes O.M's original sacrifice for K.C completely in vain, and O.M has essentially just taken N.M's role in the family now that N.M is where he is now, as Nexus. it was all very frustrating to see happen.

And, whooh, I can go on and on and on about how O.M has shown many signs that he hasn't actually improved as a person/brother as much as he claims to have, but I think that harpers on spoiler territory for you Sab so I'll save that for another day dkjfhsdfsd but as for the SECOND part of your statement...

"...I think it's really messed up how everything went down. Earth seemed to jump to a lot of conclusions about New Moon and she seemed really upset but also I don't think what New Moon said to push her away was actually that mean. Maybe it's just me?"

IT 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 JUST 👏 YOU 👏

From what I can tell, actually a lot of people agree with you!!! (me included). this leads to kind of a divide in-fandom between people who are on the families side, and those who are on New Moon's/Nexus'. and from what I've seen, even the people who aren't on either side just kind of find Nexus pathetic and emo. which is 100% fair and understandable, considering his "villain arc" was built off of shakey ground lol. AND while I am 100% a N.M/Nexus apologist, that wont stop me from acknowledging that he fucked up bad in some places sdkfjhsdjfk really, everyone messed up a lot to get into the situation they are now story-wise. it's not just one sides fault, and it's draining seeing people trying to make the dilemma one of black and white morals when it is 20x more complex than that. OKAY MINI RANT OVER, ONTO WHAT YOU REFERENCED SKFJDHSDF so. did Earth have every right to be hurt by what New Moon said? oh, 100% yeah, her brother just insulted and demeaned her to her face, ofc it would hurt.

But what really confuses me is how personally she took his insults??? Right before, genuinely, right before that confrontation; Sun warned her that Moon might say something he didn't mean. he warned her, because he knows from experience.

and yet Earth took it to heart??? w. why??? she knows a lot about mental health stuff, or she's supposed to, right??? surely she'd understand that it's a very common trauma/fear response for people to become aggressive and lash out, even against those who they love and care for??? right???

And I also agree that she was jumping to conclusions, or at least misinterpreting N.M's goals/intentions/reasonings. when N.M called her "not a real therapist", she took the greatest offense to that. but. the thing is. he wasn't??? wrong???? did he say it in a rude as hell and aggressive way??? yup, no denying that! but he's not wrong.

Earth isn't a licensed therapist. she is an animatronic with downloaded protocols and processes given to her by the Creator in attempts to try and be a therapist. but she literally admits it to herself multiple times in the show that she's not a real therapist, she just does her best. so it always confused me why she took N.M's statement to heart, because genuinely, for him, her best (or more specifically, her kind and patient style of therapy) wasn't enough. which is v tragic, much ow, big pain.

At the time of being confronted, N.M was exhausted, desperate, spiraling, hallucinating, not wanting to ask for help, lying to both himself and the family, in mourning- basically holding on by a thread. so when cornered, (literally, he physically was cornered in P&S) he lashed out and said mean things to be able to push those he cared about away and "get to safety". it was wrong of him to do, yes, but considering everything we knew about how Moon's (both New and Old) react to stressful situations from prior tragedies, it was to be expected.

BUT THEN??? EVERYONE JUST KIND OF GAVE UP ON HIM AFTER THAT????? he made one mistake. one. one mistake. and suddenly everyone was all like "alright, we've got to kill him." I??? DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT'S A LITTLE BIT FUCKED UP??? HELLO?????

I'm not denying that N.M was becoming unstable. I'm not denying that he was becoming aggressive. he was, and that's why he needed help. he needed someone to stick by him even as he was pushing them away, to love him even at his lowest, and no one did. Imo, at least Sun has the excuse of being traumatized by Old Moon's past actions, which could explain why he was so desperate for everyone else's input, but Earth and Lunar??? Monty and Puppet too??? hello???? why the hell are you doing your brother/friend (who is doing all of this TO GET SOLAR BACK BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MAKE THEM ALL HAPPY, MIND YOU) like this???? HELLO????

And I'm also bringing up that Nexus still hasn't really. done anything??? in the current point of the story??? the worst thing he's done so far is rough up O.M a bit. but other than that, all he did was say cruel/threatening things to/about the other Celestials. he's yet to act on.. anything?? he hasn't killed a single person. and you know who have killed people?? Sun, Lunar, Solar, Old Moon, Puppet, Monty... and yet?? some people see him as an irredeemable monster???? it's. strange to me. it's obvious he's hurting, it's obvious he still cares. and he's literally killing himself to try and make the pain that comes with caring stop- isolating himself, poisoning himself, and literally ripping out his own emotions, idk guys, those don't seem like the actions of an irredeemable villain, but maybe it's just me sdkfljhsdf

As expected, this turned into an essay. BUT I'm done now, me-me needs to go take a shower gkfdjhhfgjsd thank you for the excuse to yap, Sabronda!!! I love New Moon/Nexus so much they're my ultimate cringefail. I'm certain they have an edgy Sonic OC somewhere in that evil lab of theirs

[flamemons]

How do you think Digimon Frontier might have gone if the Spirits of Steel, Wood, and Earth had been bequeathed to Ophanimon, the Spirits of Darkness and Water had been bequeathed to Seraphimon, the Spirits of Flame, Light, Ice, Wind, and Thunder had been bequeathed to Cherubimon, and the protagonists had been Katsuharu, Teppei, Chiaki, Teruo, and Koichi (with Kouji joining later)?

im just gonna ramble whatever comes to mind lmao. i drew some stuff too!

uuh while i find it hard to care too much about those other kids because well, I don't know much about them, it is really fun thinking about how kouichi would act if he was there from the start. I think he'd be serious, in a similar way to Kouji, bc he's there on a mission, y'know! All he remembers is following his brother around until Kouji gets some weird text message (wait,,, does kouichi have a phone? probably not, huh. poor people gang ftw...) and now hes in this fuckin place! (hes a dead soul in this au too.) I'd imagine he'd be just as driven as Kouji was, if not more so, bc he KNOWS koujis gotta be here somewhere....but instead of initially trying to avoid the other kids (koujis strategy), he'd probably stick around as soon as he realizes that theyre gonna get themselves killed if they keep acting stupid. So, instead of trying to ditch the kids or act distant, he'd nag them and rush them to stay on track, and come off as kind of a bossy stick-in-the-mud at first

Side note, its easy to think of kouji as being a lot more serious and mature compared to the rest of the frontier kids, but honestly, I have to wonder if he wouldve acted differently if ophanimon wasnt calling him all the damn time telling him that he has to find answers! hes gotta get stronger! theres something he Has To Know!!! like damn if ophanimon was that specific with the other kids they'd also probably be just as sullen. anyway, kouichi would be feeling the same kind of pressure.

in an attempt to make it more interesting for me, chiaki and teruo are now siblings. or close cousins. or something. (what if they were fraternal twins?? that would be so funny actually. there is a statistically improbable amount of twins here!) AND bc i like chiaki the most i think she'd make a cool leader of sorts! like, the lancer to kouichi. kouichi ends up accidentally being the leader bc hes so driven, and chiakis like, a genuinely nice person who really wants to help the digital world as soon as she steps off the first trailmon onto the flame terminal. she also doesnt take shit from anyone. maybe she was a quiet wallflower-type kid at school, but, if its for another's sake, then she'll always speak up! so now, in the digital world, she cant stay quiet!

ah i love just making shit up. this is fun

so together, they make the most chillest leader/lancer duo ever. (hey, if they WERE to be the two Main Ones, wouldnt it be cool if their Susanoomon-type evolution was deep-sea themed? mix darkness and water together, and you get The Fucking Abyss. it could be bioluminescent! a cool way to turn "light into darkness!")

btw, im not drawing any spirit forms here bc I think these kids would have alternative spirit forms as opposed to the evil ones in the show. like, heroic looking ones (basically, no child deserves to have to spirit evolve into grottomon) BUT im no good at character design and that sounds like a lotta work. also, the other spirits (fairymon, chakkmon, agnimon, etc,) would need evil forms too then, right?? that sounds like a REALLY hard thing to try drawing, so nah. just imagine these kids spirit evolving and fighting offscreen. speaking of the other spirits though,

i want chakkmon/tomoki to try pummeling the shit out of katsuharu and teppei!! karmas a bitch!! tomoki didnt get to have his character development in this AU, bc he (probably) fell off the trailmon train tracks and got Got by cherubimon!

i like the main frontier kids too much to not include them in everything i draw Ever, so imagine that maybe they all came to the digital world alone, and wandered around until they found their respective spirits (in similar circumstances to the show) but since those spirits belongto cherubimon, theyre possessed/convinced to fight on cherubimons side!! like "oh shit i have no friends and i hate my life, yea this big evil bunny has a point lets go fuck shit up". maybe some of them are fully in control of their actions, maybe some arent. maybe some of them remember that theyre human, but maybe some of them dont....?

lastly, i have to apologize bc i got completely sidetracked bc i thought "oh takuya and kouji would be very funny as team rocket-esque villains" so heres flamon and strabimon but Evil™

i like to imagine that theyre the Most Incompetent of cherubimons Evil Guys but theyre the only two (that cherubimon knows of) that can form susanoomon so THATS why hes trying to collect all the spirits. bc of that, they DEFINITELY dont remember that theyre human. (bc of that, they also kind of dont have anything to care about, so theyre just trying to have fun)

it would be fun if they were initially kind of lame but although they may be idiots, theyre not Dumb, so they slowly become competent at the same rate as the Heroes do, and instead of a sephirothmon arc theres like.......a beowolfmon and aldamon arc??? im not a writer i dont know. watch these five kids (and counting!) get slowly hunted by two fucking Beasts in the darkest forest ever.

or maybe they do Actually manage to collect all the spirits but it goes so horribly wrong and now theres like ten goddamn kids and ten spirits mashed up in the psyche of a very unstable susanoomon and its just some fucked up Twisted psychological nightmare. digimon evangelion.

basically in this AU, there is even MORE wild tone shifts and the plot goes Absolutely Fucking Bonkers. and takuya's cosplaying Jotaro Kujo for some fucking unknown reason.

thank you for asking! this was....probably not what you were going for, but c'est la vie

[sleep-can-wait]

Okay, so I made a poll on whether Aiden Acharya was a book bf and this is because see him getting a lot of hate. And I have no idea why????? There's even a video (albeit a small mention) calling him annoying???? Also I see him tend to get antagonized in a bunch of fics.

There are only a few reasons I could think of as to why and those do not really make sense in my opinion:

He was distant with Aru of CoG - okay but dude literally has so much trauma when it comes to love. His parents got divorced because of it and his father hurt his mother sm because of it. Now obviously when he used the key in ToW he realised he was in love with her. And no duh he'd want to put some distance between them so that she wouldn't hurt him because of it AND HE WOULDN'T HURT HER

The Kara shenanigans - please Aiden was being polite he literally acted the same as with Mini and Brynne, like Kara was feeling left out, that much was obvious, so Wifey was the better man and helped her feel included. BECAUSE HE IS NICE. The "romance" between them was all Kara's delusions and Aru's unreliable narrating for fucks sake she once thought Brynne and Aiden once had feelings for each other because she always thinks lowly of her.

The time skip - HE WAS JUST TOLD HE WAS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF ARU HE IS LITERALLY ONLY 15/16 A MERE FUCKING CHILD YOU THINK HE'S JUST GONNA LA DEE DA HIS WAY THROUGH LIFE AND PRETEND NOTHING IS WRONG????? THAT IS SO FUCKED UP FOR HIS MENTALITY OF COURSE HE WOULD TRY TO AVOID HIS FATE ISTFG-

The rejection at the start of NoI - honestly pretty sure he just word-vomited like Aru in EoT he didn't get to complete what he was saying so he couldn't explain himself properly and after he kissed Aru, he probably realized his fate was sealed and he was on the verge of dying, yes he'd do everything he could to avoid it even if it means lying and taking back everything because he does not want to die has anyone realized how scary dying is??? Like he's probably terrified because god fucking dammit he's gonna die he does not want his life to end he doesn't want to leave his friends or family. It's a kids book so it's not really shown properly how awful and miserable and so fucking scary it is to be told: "you're gonna die."

The rest of NoI - literally the exact same reasoning any moment in this quest he will stop breathing and no one knows Aiden's POV, so he was probably having so many panic attacks and crying and screaming himself hoarse because he really, really doesn't want to die he doesn't want to abandon his mom, being the person Malini found worth living for. He didn't want to leave Rudy, his blood family that didn't abandon him. He didn't want to say good bye to Brynne, his best friend, nor to the other Potatoes. He didn't want to spend less than 9 days with Aru before seeing her for the last time.

I'm probably gonna get so much hate for this but I'm tired of seeing how badly Aiden is treated and I adore him and honestly he was absolutely in the right to cut off Aru, though I'm not saying it was the right thing to do, but he was allowed to do it.

Because. He. Does. Not. Want. His. Heart. Broken.

He. Did. Not. Want. To. Die.

[leorawright]

Could I request the tf2 mercs with a S/O who is heavies older brother? Like one day after a battle, the mercs Spot, a relatively normal and average-height Russian who walks up to Heavy with the biggest grin and With Pauling in tow behind them as she was the one who had let S/O to go visit heavy And they just shout in the THICKEST yet legible Russian accent "HAHA! MISHA IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! LOOK AT YOU! WHY YOU LOOK JUST LIKE PAPA!" and then they proceed to bear hug heavy and fucking pick him up as if heavy wasn't a giant and weighed half a ton. It could be platonic with heavy and romanced with the rest of the mercs or platonic all together if you want ;3

Aww of course (btw reader is gender neutral)

Mercs finding out Heavy has a older sibling

Scout

Scout wad already terrified of Heavy but seeing you a normal sized person he didn't feel the same fear

Until you picked up Heavy

Now it's back

Scout avoided you for like a week until Heavy forced him to talk to you

Then Scout realized you're actually good conversation and now you can't leave because you're Scout's new best friend

Soldier

Hrs surprised to see a normal sized Russian since he's so used to Heavy

He also praises you for your strength when you somehow lift up Heavy

Deciphering you accent takes him forever but he'll figure it out... maybe

Demoman

He knew Heavy had younger sisters but he didn't know he had an older sibling

He'll offer you a drink and try not to let you see how scared he is of you

You picked up Heavy for Christ's sake!

Demo does become a pretty good friend for the short smount of time you stay though

Pyro

New friend!!!

They're absolutely delighted to meet you and immediately start showing you all the things they like

They'll trail behind you and Heavy waiting for a chance to talk to you

When they do their excitement is infectious

Heavy

Heavy is absolutely delighted

He hasn't seen you in forever and now you're here!

Expect the normally quiet Russian to talk your ear off for the several days you're there

When you have to leave Heavy is disappointed but extremely happy you were able to visit

Medic

Is that another Heavy? No wait this one's shorter. But they just picked up Heavy???

He's already so confused about who you are

Medic is one of Heavy's good friends so he'll wait for Heavy to introduce you before trying to talk to you

Sniper

He's gonna go hide in his camper van until you're gone see ya

He does eventually meet you and when he does he barely says a word

Then he sees how kind you are despite your thick accent

Sniper won't actively seek you out but he'll talk to you in the option arises

Spy

Oh dear Heavy has another sibling?

Spy is surprised (and scared) of your strength when you pick up Heavy

Spy tries to flirt because it's his first reaction but pretty soon be becomes good friends with you

To him you're certainly better company than the other Mercs

[miiilowo]

I forgot William could juggle omg. Mentally adding that to my silly facts about him.

Sorry for so many asks its like 1am and I'm just like so feral about your interpretation of William. You are are so correct about him all the time and hes such a silly little guy

How do you think William went about the murders? Did he try to be sorta detached from it or did he amp up the villian persona?

Do you imagine the 5 missing children all were killed in one day or over the course of a week? Canon seems to support both options a bit I think , but more leaning towards all at once I think, it's been a bit since I checked

How many murders did your William commit? That tends to vary alot depending on what theories and who you ask.

Oooh how'd he go about luring them? Was it just a simple "hey I have a surprise for you come follow me" or did he gain their trust longer than that or did the SL animatronics do all the work for him. Did he just target random kids or did he have a method for picking them. Speaking of, did he plan at all which animatronics they were going to possess?

How'd he avoid getting caught? Did he?

Hmm lots of murders questions let's go off topic. If he had to own a pet what animal would he prefer. Like he def LOVES rabbits. But hmm, they like, need more work and attention than a cat. And William doesn't seem like he'd be great at that

As a children's entertainer, did he often try to throw fun birthday parties for his kids? Oh hmm, why was Evan having his party at Fredbear's if he's so scared of animatronics? Bc he obviously does care about Evan. Ive personally always interpreted that as like, William being too busy + recovering from the springlocks to like, plan something proper but there's honestly so many ways you could think of the why, so I'd love to hear your interpretation!

HEGHENEGEHEEGEHEHE EHEHEEHE HEGEHE <- likes thinking about the murders a normal amount <- lie <- fraud <- misconstruance <- trickery

i .okay so i.ok. Ok. so. ok. So. Okay. S

i am personally fond of making him as unhinged as possible in that regard. if im going to be obsessed with a cartoonish murderer im going to want him to get fucking silly with it alright im not gonna make him do some boring shit like sedating his victims before killing them or something <- targeted toward the novels

there is a LOOOOOOOT of inconsistency in "canon" sources. (canon in quotations because anything aside from the books is dubiously canon. half of the time i feel like im in the warrior cats fandom again with how people cannot AGREE ON ANYTHING OR REMEMBER INFORMATION) it makes sense for it to be done tastefully considering this is kind of a sensitive topic, being. murder. and all. theres less details about it. however, i have issues and problems and need to know everything about him or else ill DIE. BADLY

while the idea of him doing them all at once has been the agreed upon thing for...pretty much the past eight and a half years, i find the idea of them being one at a time more interesting. going about it strategically and with some level of premeditation makes for good contrast with charlies murder, which was very clearly a crime of passion. by creating more stark contrast between these events, it makes charlies death feel more significant, generally more fucked up, and more ... Out of character, for william. It makes it feel like it really MEANT something, if everyone else's deaths were executed in a way that really shows the difference in motivation/intent :3

i personally think that charlie was the first death, and was motivated by williams envy & resentment regarding henry since shes his daughter. Very heat of the moment, fueled by hatred for her father; swift, i imagine. probably just had a pocket knife in his car or something. i think this event is what makes william realize he enjoys killing; as much as i'd like to paint him in the most pathetic light possible, i can't imagine hed kill children for the sake of feeling powerful. obliterating charlie out of obsessive gay jealousy obviously probably made him feel like he had power over henry, which im sure he adored, but i generally think hes in it for something else.

I refuse to believe anything but the idea that he loves the thrill of it. I make note of this because of how he reacts to being springlocked in the novels, where he was sort of drunk on the pain, and was having far too much fun with it. That, and because he's an entertainer, a performer, he probably enjoys excitement quite a lot. He loves big reveals, he loves drama, he loves reactions! I think that can be applied to the murders as well :3 I've said all this, while leaving out my best supporting piece of evidence, being that, in canon, for Cassidy's death, he kidnapped her and beat her to death. With a shovel. So. Seems a bit over the top. To Me. I dont know. Like if he wasnt. Having fun with it then. Yknow.

My favorite favorite favorite thing about afton is how he just sort of sloooooowly unraveled over time. And even when he DID snap, there was sort of a gradual worsening as time went on; I dont think he WANTED to like killing, but he did! And eventually, he gave in to that desire to get as violent as possible. He stopped caring, and he started to enjoy it, instead of pushing it away.

Its also important to note I do think there was only one missing childrens incident. While I wouldnt put it past william to do it twice just to shut down multiple freddys locations out of spite, there isnt really a lot of evidence to suggest that he killed at the fnaf 2 location; everything that goes on there can be explained by other means we already have.

So, Susie goes first!!!!!!! By this point, I firmly believe that Elizabeth has already died, charlie has obviously already died, and Henry has forbade William from ever setting foot on the premises ever again, but he gets away with it by wearing the spring bonnie suit. Killed her dog, apparently. Prick. Anyways, chica/susie states that she was the first to go and has apparently 'seen everything'. I don't take this as necessarily meaning that he did everything at once, especially since we know he Fucking Kidnapped Cassidy, but i do believe all of them were dragged into that saferoom at some point. oh, yeah, i also think its the saferoom because

not on the cameras

employees only really go in there if theyre literally bleeding out from the springlock suits, and the suits were decommissioned when william used them, meaning no employee would have ANY reason to be in the safe room. the phone guy states the spring bonnie animatronic was 'noticeably moved', then reminds people they arent supposed to be used, which supports me thinking william used the suits when employees werent supposed to use them + means nobody regularly fucks with the suits that ARE in there in the first place if this is a notable event he has to point out

animatronics dont know it exists. not in their programming. what are they gonna do, tell his fucking mom

i dont know why im explaining why the saferoom would be the best option i just see that nobody seems to agree on this for some reason

easier to do it in a room nobody can access rather than dragging them outside while theyre alive and/or concious

makes sense for him to know all this since he used to own the franchise

anyway, he probably didn't have too much trouble getting them back there since he had the suit on, but he also knows what hes doing in general. even if he werent wearing the suit i dont doubt he'd have been able to pull it off. hes a childrens entertainer. probably told them he had candy or cake for them, or some sort of surprise, maybe lied to them and said their mom or dad was in trouble and they needed to follow him, that kind of thing, standard fuckin. kidnapping behavior i guess. as for selecting the victims, picking kids who were kindof off by themselves doing their own thing makes the most sense. i imagine thats the only thought he put into it

while id LOVE for each death to be as bloody as possible, im not sure william could really afford that, given the setting he was in. hard to get too messy when youre in a public establishment; even if it was unlikely anyone would ever come into the saferoom, its probably better to make cleaning up the evidence a relatively easy process. i really. really really really like the idea of him using an axe for some reason? i know it was popularized because of the die in a fire music video, and would not be pertaining to how he killed anybody, but im attached to it got DAMNIT. im kind of contradicting myself because axe murdering is like an inherently messy process but yknow. maybe that was just one of em. it doesnt seem outlandish to me that there could be an axe in the saferoom- Like a fireaxe, yknow? i can imagine him having a knife knocked out of his hands, panicking and grabbing that. thats fun. i like that one

actual timeframe though. ummmmm. definitely not all in one day, but having them be throughout a week seems too long. having kids go missing in One Place over the course of a WEEK feels like it would be giving the place ample time to get shut down briefly. i give him 3 days ABSOLUTE maximum. maybe two.

initially i think he wanted the sister location animatronics to do the work for him, but after liz dies he doesnt wanna deal with them because. grief, and after killing charlie he processes that he doesnt mind getting his hands dirty i guess. so theres that. the sister location animatronics never really got the chance to function how he wanted them to because circus babys pizza world never opened

as for how he didnt get CAUGHT, there just...Wasnt enough evidence to convict him. DNA testing was introduced in 1986, one year after the murders occurred, and i suppose any crime scenes wouldve been wiped clean by the time forensics couldve been involved. It's definitely a situation where a lot of people just KNEW he did it, but it fell flat in a court of law- Henry, of course, would be one of those people who knew. That, and the fact fazbear ent is very scummy when it comes to those sort of things, prioritizing their brand over individual people. Even if Henry knew william did it, he'd probably want to crack down on people continuing to pursue his arrest; itd be bad for the company, after all! having their name attached to this forever? having one of their FOUNDERS attached to it forever? absolutely not. hed know there was no way theyd imprison william, and dragging the ordeal out would just cause damage to the label. henry may be better than william, but he is not a beacon of all that is right and good in the world. remember this forever

anyways um! im a firm believer in the idea he'd have a bunny. i can understand where ur coming from w the 'theyd be too much work to take care of' sentiment, but he had 3 kids, and a bunny is still less work than 3 kids. admittedly, he hated one of them and the other two died, but YKNOW its not like hes a complete stranger to taking care of things. michael lasted a long time. technically was only tangentially williams fault he died. cat would be good too

i do think he'd probably want to plan things for the kids as well, which is demonstrated by evans birthday party. i think at this point in the timeline he was just very, very caught up in his work, as shown by him watching them remotely through the camera system in his house + talking to evan via the fredbear plushie. so generally i agree w you on that, i dont have much to add :]

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 13

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Dog boy and farmer girl make up!! :) 

Author’s Note: TW // very brief mention of death and attempted suicide

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

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Summer is here and it is hot. I’m not going outside today.

Since (reluctantly) getting myself dressed earlier, I’ve been just laying in bed, stuffed Eggy under one of my arms, playing video games.  It’s been a while since I’ve just let myself lounge around for a whole day, and I’ve been hankering for some Legend of Lonk lately. 

I wonder if anyone around here is into games. I know Abby is. Allegedly, she struggles so much with Prairie King because she’s more of an RPG type, which I can relate to. But who knows if I’ll ever be close enough with her to play games together?

Just when I’m about to finish up a cutscene, my phone vibrates. Probably a text. I decide to ignore it for now, until realizing it’s still going. Ughhhhh, I hate unprompted phone calls. I pause my game and set the console aside. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, (y/n)…” fuck, it’s Sam. “Sorry to bother ya.”

“Oh, uh, not a bother at all. What’s up?” I sit up, repositioning Eggy to my lap and hugging her.

“Can we meet up somewhere? I wanna… you know. Talk about… uh. You know. Stuff. If you’re willing, of course. If not then don’t worry about it, it’s cool.”

I sigh, quietly. I do miss that puppy-man. And if I’ve been canoodling his best friend, then I should swallow my pride and stop avoiding this. For all of our sakes.

“Yeah, I’d like that actually. You wanna come over?”

He sighs too — a big, relieving one. I almost forgot how animated he is. “Yeah sure, when’s a good time?”

“Whenever you want, I’ll be around all day.” My overwhelmingly hospitable instincts kick in, “Just let me know when you’re headed over. I can make us some cocoa or lemonade or something, if you want.”

“It’s a little hot for hot chocolate,” he laughs, sorta shyly. “But it does sound good.” 

“Fuck, true,” I mentally smack myself on the forehead. “I can make it cold,” I offer. “Or at least try to. Never done it before.”

“That would be great, it’s okay if you don’t feel like it though. I don’t wanna burden you too much,” he trails off. 

“Sam, I wouldn’t have offered otherwise.”

I hear a nervous laugh on the other end. “Yeah, I guess. Alright. Uh. I guess I’ll head over in a few minutes?”

“Yeah, sounds good to me.” 

“See ya in a bit then, (y/n).”

“See ya, Sam.”

Fuck, this is gonna be so uncomfortable. At least he seems as nervous as I feel.

Letting out a huge groan, I roll – literally roll, from mattress to floor – out of the bed to find a bra and some less bootylicious bottoms to put on.

Something tells me Seb’s talked to Sam about what we’re about to discuss, so I’m sure Sam knows by now I’m not interested in him the way he might’ve thought. I gotta stay cautious, though. Some dudes are fuckin’ creeps who’ll see a little bit of extra skin and think it's free real estate. Experienced that too much in the city.

I’d doubt Sam being like that if I knew him beyond the surface, but I’ve been so unsure of how to feel about that gumball since The Incident. 

I pick out a pair of long gray bike shorts, and throw a sports bra underneath the white, grandpa-esque tourism tee from Ginger Island that I had on already. The ladies are staying hidden, today.

Now, the cocoa… I follow my usual routine, except I leave out the creamer and opt to put the mixture into a pitcher rather than mugs. If I put it in the freezer with some extra ice – better throw in some more mix, so it won’t get watered down – so it’ll hopefully be chilled enough by the time he’s here. 

Aaand now we wait. I sit back on the bed, scooping Cannoli into my lap while my eyes dance around the room. I really need some more furniture in here. At least an extra chair, if I’m gonna keep having people over. Maybe a desk to work at? 

Fuck, wait a sec! This would totally be big enough for a kotatsu if I put the table in the kitchen or outside instead. My weeb ass has always wanted one of those. I’m sure Cannoli would love it, too. 

After a few more moments of interior design contemplation, I get up to pee. Naturally, the moment I sit down, I hear a knock at the door.

“Fuck…” I murmur. “Sorry, one second!” I yell as loud as I can muster. Hopefully he heard that.

I speed-run my little bathroom break and jog to the door, without drying my hands. Shit, what if he gets grossed out by how moist they are? I shake my head, then shake my hands a bit and pat ‘em on my shorts before opening up. 

“Hey–” I’m cut off with a squeak from my own throat as Sam fucking engulfs my body into a hug. 

“Dude you have no idea how bad I feel,” he word-vomits on me. “I’m so sorry!”

I stand there in shock for a moment. I expected more of a serious, awkward conversation. A weird business meeting, of sorts. Should’ve known that the big guy would do things differently. I’m still unsure of whether or not I can really trust him, but I'm willing to try.

“You big dummy...” I mumble into his boobs before squeezing him back. “I was so worried that you hated me.”

“I thought you’d hate me!”

“We’re both dummies.”

“For sure.”

Realizing I’m still talking into his big ol’ honkaroos, I tilt my head out for air. In a southern drawl, I declare, “We’ve got some stuff to discuss, pardner.”

“Mhm, mhm.” He pulls away, albeit still at arms-length and holding onto my shoulders. 

“Pop a squat, I’ll grab the cold cocoa.”

“Cold-co?”

“Oooo I like that,” I shout from the kitchen.

I can’t help but smile at how easy this is so far. Sure, we’ve got some feelings to work out, but I’d let my anxiety get the best of me for the past few weeks for sure.

“Do you want a mug or a glass?”

“Do you have one of those fancy wine cups?” he asks. I peer back and he’s leaning over from the chair at the table. Cannoli missed him too – he’s already curled up in Sam’s lap. 

“I’ll check.” I back up, peering around the cabinets, hoping the space gives me a better angle to see the top shelf with. Grandpa had to have had those… fuck, I don’t feel like climbing. “Actually,” I exhale, “can you check?”

Keeping Cannoli in his arms like a baby, Sam strolls in, looking confused. Then, the lightbulb goes off. He laughs at me and scruffs my hair, reassuring me with a jovial “Sure thing, little guy,” before easily spotting and taking a wine glass from the back of one of my higher shelves. Fucking tall people.

“Damn it.” 

“I can carry you on my shoulders sometime,” he offers. “That way you can, you know…” 

“I hate you.”

“Not that much, if you invited me over.”

“Whatever, fucko.”

He snickers, watching as I prepare our drinks. When I start pouring the creamer, he questions it. 

“Trust me,” I assure. He just shrugs, letting me do my thing. “You want whip?”

“What do I look like, some sort of monster? Of course I want whip.”

“More of a big, fluffy beast than anything.”

Sam scoffs, “I’ll take it over a goblin or shadow brute.”

I hand off his drink, scooping up a pair of swirly straws. I am an adult. “Want a straw too, beast boy?” I offer while holding one out towards him.

Taking it from me, he responds, “See, I can get behind that! Makes me sound like a Teen Titan.”

“That show kicked ass,” I point out as we walk into the other room. “I used to have the fattest crush on Robin.”

We sit down on my bed, both of us cross-legged, both of our backs against the wall. Cannoli fills the space between us. Our mediator.

“I was down bad for Starfire, myself.” He takes a sip, and I inspect for the signature eye twinkle. Theeere it is! Another chocolate beverage well done. “Holy shit this is so good.”

“Told you to trust me!”

He playfully rolls his eyes. “Oh! And Blackfire fucked too.”

“Dude, she was so hot!”

“But so mean…”

“Yeah, and you’re saying you wouldn’t want her to be mean to you?”

He inhales dramatically, contemplating. Then Sam mutters, shrugging, “I’d thank her for beating me up,” before dejectedly sipping some more of his drink.

“Seeeee?”

“Shut up, jeez. I didn’t come here to be perceived.”

“Eh, you kinda did.”

A short silence. “Crud. You’re right.”

We both laugh, and it simmers into another silence.

“So.” 

I turn towards him, leaning my shoulder onto the wall now. He mimics my movement, placing his already empty cup (?!) onto my nightstand and hugging my pillow to his chest. It looks like we’re having a slumber party. This is the best position for sharing some hot goss.

“So…” he sighs, his eyes roaming me. I blush as he either inspects me or checks me out – not sure which it is. “I’ve got some explaining to do, huh?”

I nod and shrug, “I guess.”

He gnaws at his bottom lip, looking down at the pillow, trying to decide on his next choice of words if I had to assume.

“Well, Sebastian told me that he already let you know I was catching feelings, so I don’t have to explain that.”

“Yeeeah… he fill you in on anything else?”

Sam nods. “I’m happy for you guys, by the way. Dunno what’s going on, but it’s cool you two are like… you know.”

“Thanks, Sam,” I shyly smile, scooping my plushie into my arms. God, Eggy takes up so much of me. It’s fine though. She is my protector. “I’m sorry that you kinda got fucked over. You’re really cool and you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, but,” I shrug. “I just don’t feel the same that you do. I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, “No, really, it’s all good. I’m usually better with the ladies anyway. It’s about time Seb has better luck than I do.”

“Pfft. All these Pelican Town girls really swoon for ya, don’t they?” I say that half-jokingly. He’s crazy good looking, and he’s nice, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he did well for himself around here.

“I mean, I thought I had a thing with Penny for a while, but that went nowhere.” 

“Aw, really? That would be so cute!”

“Would’ve been cuter if she felt the same way I did.”

“Oof,” I scrunch my nose as I wince. “Unrequited?”

“Nah, she just wasn’t as into me as I was into her, I guess.” He sighs, “It’s starting to be a common theme for me.”

“Heh, whoops,” I apologize as I abandon my cup of coldco onto the floor and hug Eggy tighter, hiding further into her. 

“It worked out for the best. We had different dreams for the future, and whatever.”

“What about Abby?”

“I love her, but more like… as if she were my annoying little sister.” He laughs, “Besides, she’s obsessed with Sebastian. It would never happen even if I wanted to try.”

“Gotcha, gotcha. How’s she feel about me and him, uh…” I pause. Seb and I aren’t dating, per say. “Messing around?” I cringe at my own words. “Gross. Wait.”

Sam howls, “Yoba, you nasty girl.” 

“Shut up! I don’t know what we are, we aren’t dating, exactly!”

“Yeah, yeah, I get you… Uhh. She hates you.”

We lock eyes. He’s wincing but I’m stone cold. “I expected nothing less,” I truthfully admit.

“She’ll come around.”

“I fucking hope so. I don’t exactly love the fact that one of the first people I tried to properly interact with here has made such an enemy out of me.”

“Abby’s young and dumb, but she’ll warm up to you eventually. If not when she’s over it, it’ll happen whenever she finds someone else to occupy her. She dated this chick Sophia once, that was the most tame I’d ever seen her.”

“Girl must be a frickin’ angel.”

“She really was so nice.” 

“Was?”

“Well,” he clicks his tongue, “she was hospitalized for a suicide attempt last year. She lives over in Grampleton, so we never really saw her around here much in the first place. But none of us have seen her at all since that happened.”

“Holy shit, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m sure she’ll be okay.” Sam repositions a little, petting Cannoli for emotional support. “She’s supposed to be inheriting her parents’ vineyard, past the beach, actually. Don’t know if she’ll ever be back to do it.”

“Oh, that’s what that place is?”

“Yeah, have you ever heard of Blue Moon?”

“Shit, I have! That brand is all over Zuzu. It belonged to her parents?”

Sam nods, sadness still washing over his features. “Yeah, but they died in a car crash. Happened a little before Sophia had to… ya know. Go away.” 

I recoil a bit, thinking about how tough shit probably is for that poor girl. “I hope she ends up okay. That sucks so hard.”

“Yeah, me too.” He puts the pillow back behind him, and slaps his palms onto his thighs, keeping them there. “Anyway! I don’t like all this sad junk. Back to business.”

“So you were really gonna kiss me that night, huh?” I blurt out.

“Yeesh. Right to the point.”

“Sorry.” I apologetically shrug. 

“You’re fine, uh… maybe I was?” We look at each other, silence filling the room. I lean over to finish my drink before placing the empty cup back on the ground, and then purse my lips, waiting for him to correct himself. “Fuck. Yes. Yes I was.”

“You know that would’ve been, like, crazy uncomfortable considering I didn’t want to kiss you back, right?”

“Yeah…”

“I don’t want to kiss you, Sam.” 

Although, his lips are super nice… 

No.

Stop it. 

“Oh my god,” he giggles.

“Thanks for not kissing me.”

“Oh my god!”

“No, like, seriously, thank you.” I put my hand on his knee, chuckling. “You have no idea how much weirder I’d feel having you in my house right now, had that happened.”

“Yeah, no problem, whatever! I get it, you don’t like me! I’ll just pine for a… taken?” Sam tilts his head and squints an eye, thinking over the word. “Taken!” He nods, confidently. “A taken lady, for forever.”

“Come on, dude!” I playfully whine, swatting Eggy’s arms in his direction. He flaps his hand in unison with each fuzzy, stuffed paw slap. “To be fair, you’re totally hot. I’m sure if you asked that Victor dude to take you to a Zuzu bar, you’d get laid in no time.”

“You think I’m hot?”

I deadpan at Sam’s face to find him giggling and blushing like a fucking school girl. Sigh. 

“Yeah, I do. You’re like, atrociously hot.” I roll my eyes, in spite of the smile on my face. I'm not lying - he really is, like, so fucking hot honestly. “Don’t make it weird.” I point at him, one of the plushie’s paws still in the same hand.

“That’s so cool oh my god,” he giddily exclaims.

I groan into the back of Eggy’s head. “Sammm!”

“Right, sorry!” he scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I don’t wanna just get laid. I have Palmela for that stuff.”

“Who the fuck is Palmela?”

Sam grins menacingly, waggling his fingers at me, not saying a word.

What?

...Oh.

OH.

Palmela! Seriously?!

“Dude, gross!” I cackle.

“Heheheheh.” He evilly taps his fingertips against those on the opposite hand. I give him a fake-dirty look. “But seriously, I want someone to cuddle, to go on dates with,” he sighs. “Anyone, I don’t even care about gender. I just want someone to care about and feel loved by.”

Aww. I frown. Everyone who wants that deserves it. Especially this fella. Wait… but if he’s not straight…

I excitedly snag one of his hands in both of mine. “So small,” he whispers, thoroughly inspecting my hands. I ignore that comment.

“Sam, have you ever had a crush on Sebastian?” Wide eyed and menacingly, I flash my teeth.

His own eyes widen. He looks down, then back up to my eyes, and then off to the side…and now he’s blushing!!!

“Sam, holy shit! You have!”

“We dated…” he whispers, twitching a brow. Ayo?!

“Samson Henry Johnson, you sly dog!”

“Dude, shut up! We were, like, kids basically, it’s no big deal.”

“What do you mean by kids? How long ago was it?”

“We were in high school.”

“Bro, that was only, what, a decade ago? Little longer maybe?”

“Sweet Yoba above…”

“Is it a forbidden topic, or do I have full permission to be nosy?”

“It’ll be forbidden if you keep being annoying about it!”

I pout. “Boo, you whore.” 

“Wouldn’t not kissing and telling make me less of a whore?”

“Metaphorically speaking, yeah, but…” I shrug. Then, I have an epiphany. “Oh my god wait, did you guys, like, touch tips?!”

“Alright, it’s forbidden!”

“Fuck!”

__________________

I lied. I am going outside today.

After continuing to fill each other in on our previously failed love lives, Sam and I decided to take a walk up to his ex’s house to present the renewal of our friendship. Formally. Bells chime as we enter the gigantic cabin, announcing our arrival. Smells sawdusty – I guess Robin’s been busy.

“Hey, you two! If you’re looking for Sebby, he’s in his lair,” Robin advises. 

“Thanks Robby,” I chirp, as my tall companion and I pass her station.

“Robby?” she laughs. “Gross.”

I crinkle my nose. “Ugh, yeah, sorry. Didn’t have as nice of a ring out loud as it did in my head.”

“You’re tellin’ me!” Robin shouts once we’re out of sight. 

Continuing the assholery, as Sam raps on Seb’s door, I sing, “Sebbyyy.” 

A loud groan echos on the other side. “Stop calling me that shit,” he voices as he nears the door. When he opens it, he does a double take. “Ah. I see The Conversation went well.”

“Hell yeah!” Sam boasts, tossing a strong arm around my shoulder and navigating me inside. “This little lady and I are good as new.”

“And you came here to celebrate? Of all places?” the hot, emo cave goblin inquires. 

“Hell yeah!” Sam echos himself. “Swimmies and sippies season is here,” he chimes, waggling his eyebrows. “Are you down?”

“Can it wait until it’s cooler out?” Seb asks, returning to his desk and typing away. “Like, later tonight, maybe?”

“Absolutely! Who’s buying the sippies though?”

They both look at me, expectantly. I’ve been lost this entire time.

“What in the actual fuck is a swimmies and sippies?”

“Ahh, much to learn, young grasshopper,” Seb calmly states.

“Stop calling me that.”

He chuckles. “Every once in a while, we grab a bunch of drinks and go swimming at the bathhouse. You know, the one up by the train station,” he explains, as I nod. “Hence… swimmies and sippies.”

“I came up with the name!” Sam beams, as he sits on the couch. Of course he did, I think to myself. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

I head pat him for a change. Feels good, man. “Of course it does.” Sam leans into my hand, so I continue rubbing his head. He’s literally a giant dog.

“I nominate you to buy,” Seb peers over at Sam. “Not fair to make the newbie do it.”

“You seemed on board with her getting the drinks a second ago!”

“Yeah, I also thought she knew what swimmies and sippies is at that point.” 

I nod, happily, giving the blonde’s scalp another pat before seating myself in front of Seb’s other computer. “Your fault for not filling me in on your plans, buddy.” 

“Man!” He whines. “Fine, I’ll go do that.” Sam gets up, stretching his arms up and behind his head as he makes his way to exit the room.

“Grab your cooler and some ice, too. There’s not much fridge space here.” 

“Anything else, fuckers?” 

“Snacks?” I add.

Sam looks to me and sighs, loud and exasperated. “Drinks, snacks, ice, cooler,” he counts on his fingers. “Got it.”

“Thank youuu~,” Seb calls as Sam leaves the room, flipping us off before swinging the door shut behind him. 

Chin in hands, I lean my elbows on the desk. 

“So… I’ve got a question for ya.”

“What’s up, baby?”

Yoba, my heart can’t take him giving me pet names. I blush and hide my face further into my hands. Fuckin’ loser.

“You guys were quite an item back in the day, yeah?”

He stops typing and snorts into a laugh. “Fuck. He told you about that?”

I hum and nod. “Did ya fuck?”

“Yeah,” he responds coolly, looking awfully tickled. He must not get to talk about this much.

“I knew it!” I practically screech. “That’s so precious. I wonder why he wouldn’t give me any deets.”

“Sam’s not as, uh,” Seb taps his nails onto the desk as he leans into the opposite hand. “In tune with his sexuality.”

“Ah. Explains why he forbade me from talking about it, too.”

“Look, ask me anything you want, and I’ll answer what I can. But keep it quiet, yeah? Lotta homophobes hidden around the valley.” Seb frowns. “And, Sam’s not homophobic towards other people by any means, but he’s still got some internalized shit to un-learn.”

“Ah. Lame, but understandable,” I nod, taking solace in knowing he at least is comfortable enough that he basically came out to me today. “My lips are sealed, sir.” 

I motion as though I’m zipping my mouth, tossing away the “key” after, ‘cause I’m not a monster. In the meantime, Seb groans. I tilt my head inquisitively and he looks my way. His eyes are dark and intense, like he’s invading my fucking soul oh my god.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not?”

He continues to stare at me, eyes narrowed… Oh!

I gasp, “You naughty bastard! You like that, don’t you?”

“Guilty,” he shrugs, sipping his coffee.

Aaand, just like that, I’m activated. “Sebastian.”

“(Y/n).”

“How much work do you have right now?” 

His eyes dance around the screen a bit before looking in my direction. “Enough. Why?”

“Ughhhhh.” 

“Were you scheming, (y/l/n)?”

“Who, me?” I ask, flicking my wrist as I lilt out my words, all southernly-sounding. “Why I’d nevah!”

Except I totally would, and was. Was gonna like, I dunno… offer a dick suck? Or something. It's easy to forget with how long our tension has been going on that we haven't actually done anything like that, in person at least.

“You're a horrible liar, (y/n).” Sucking in through his teeth, Seb continues his typing. “If I didn’t have so much to catch up on before tonight I’d bend you over that desk right now.” 

Ooooh my god please do, ~sir~. I squeak. Ugh.

“Is that a threat?”

“Sounds like you want it to be.”

He imitates a squeaky toy to prove his point. I (rightfully!) give his shin a kick, and he just laughs and flicks his foot back towards me.

He isn’t wrong though. I want nothing more than that, actually. But, like the little shit I am, I instead respond, “Bold of you to assume such a thing.” 

“What, is it not romantic enough for our first time?” he jests. “Or are you just challenging me for fun, you little perv?” 

“Classified information.” Quick (y/n), change the topic! “This thing still work?” I ask, tapping the monitor in front of me.

“Yeah, you wanna use it?”

“Fuck yeah, I do.” When he gives me a nod of approval, I stand up to reach the power button, pressing it and hoping for some RGB as it boots up. There are some — all red — and the poor thing sounds like it’s struggling. “When’s the last time this thing was turned on?”

“Years ago, don’t remember exactly when.” 

I hum, and am met with a black screen and white writing. “Oof. Says something about an improper boot device?”

“Shit. Umm,” he stops typing to think for a second. “Turn it on again, and go to the boot menu, in the BIOS. The right one should be somewhere on the list.”

I follow his directions. “The Windows one, I’m assuming?”

He nods. “Good girl.”

MMMMMM. If I had a tail, it would totally be wagging right now. 

I inhale sharply, trying to contain myself. “Fuck you.”

“Bad girl?” he suggests, raising one of his brows.

“I don’t like it, but sure, that’s better.” 

The computer finally starts up, and I'm surprised to find that it’s not locked by a password. This thing looks empty, though. Must’ve moved all his games and junk to the PC he’s on right now… I do the only reasonable thing to do in a situation like this: open up a browser and download stuff. MapleStory, maybe?

“Hmm, you’re right. I don’t like it either.”

“Good! So don’t use it, forehead.”

“My forehead is beautiful, thank you,” he quips. “What if it was in a different context?”

“What, like,” I clear my throat, “Oh, you’re a bad girl…?” I recite, the attempted deep voice cracking as I speak.

Seb heartily laughs. Adorably. Ughhh. “Yeah, like that.”

“Dunno, never been called that in that way before.”

“Mmm, that’ll be a fun experiment.” 

“There is no reason that should’ve been sexy, and yet…” I trail off.

He chuckles evilly, and I flick the scrunchie on my wrist at him. 

Picking it up from his lap, he holds it up briefly and says, “Cool, thanks.” 

Seb proceeds to (attempt to) put his hair up. Considering how choppy and uneven it is, it ends up being a wonky side-ponytail. 

Unfortunately, he’s still hot.

[chaoscheebs]

Still thinking about this post and Yugi being the Final Boss of Closing Off Your Heart to Protect from Being Hurt and his friends being the (mini)bosses you have to “defeat” to have a chance at “fighting” him, and now I wanna go into that more.

-Anzu: Possibly the easiest to win over, since she’s known Yugi the longest and, as that Duel Links post proved, is aware that Yugi is definitely an emotion bottler and could be convinced Seto’s clumsy but sincere approach might actually help, because  g o d ,  someone needs to stay on Yugi’s ass or he’ll retreat.  Again.  Probably ends with them sort of working together on it.

-Honda: Medium Tier Difficulty to win over.  On one hand, he’s a reasonable guy in general and has a little more distance from Yugi than the rest of the Nerd Herd(tm) to see things clearly.  On the other, he is ride or die for Jounouchi, who can’t fucking stand Kaiba and may side with him, not to mention Death-T was, y’know, unintentionally a threat to his lil’ nephew too.  Once won over, probably stays at a distance, but not too far in case he needs to run interference, because let’s face it, Anzu and Kaiba are a little too stubborn for their own good and may not realize when it’s time to back the fuck off.

-Jounouchi: That One Boss.  Is hardcore ride or die for Yugi and does not trust Kaiba any further than he can throw him.  Kaiba is gonna have to work to prove that no, he does not have any nefarious plans for Yugi, he is trying to help Yugi here, stop playing guard dog and let him fucking help.  The trick to doing that is not only showing he’s sincere, but also get Yugi to show he actually really wants Seto in his life, which ahahahaha since Yugi’s the Final Boss, will be.  A Trial.  May end up the most useful out of the three, but it’s sure as hell for Yugi’s sake, not Kaiba’s.

-Grandpa!: The hidden superboss he honestly didn’t expect, because, much like Yugi, he can forgive things done to him, you do not mess with his loved ones.  Much like a superboss, can be cheesed if you know the strategy.  Seto does not know the strategy, has to deal with protective and too clever for Seto’s own good grandpa until his sincerity can be proved.  Grandpa Muto is a wild card; he wants what’s best for his grandson but also probably enjoys trolling Seto and pretending the trolling is just him being a dotty but harmless old man.  \D

-Yugi: The Final Boss himself.  Absolutely will weaponize his cute and innocent appearance to try to get Seto to Back The Fuck Off, You Are Too Close To The Truth And He Does Not Want To Talk About It.  Also will pretend nothing’s wrong or literally, physically leave to avoid subjects he is metaphorically going “LALALALA TOTALLY NOT TRAUMATIZED BECAUSE OF THIS PLEASE IGNORE THIS BECAUSE I AM LALALALA” at.  Probably 10 seconds from exploding after the first serious attempt at getting him to open up.  Probably should have exploded.  The type to apologize for getting Seto’s shirt wet from tears and snot the first time he actually opens up and cries.  The most awkward hug ever probably took place during this event.  Eventually starts sharing when he’s having negative feelings...  to only Kaiba.  It’s progress, at least?

(Kaiba is kind of proud to be the only one who gets to see these sides of him, but Yugi.  Yugi plz.  You have ride or die friends.  Who know about the Horrible Possessed Traumamurder Gremlin Phase.  They aren’t leaving you because sometimes you want to vent and call someone else on your dev team an absolute shitweasel in private.)

[haru-naechi]

Second Rant: The Villainess/Mob/Side Character/ Random Girl Who Wakes up in a Novel She Read

Whoopie! Reincarnated to a novel/game, an interesting concept really. Seeing how there is already a pre-determined story to follow, I do wonder how they'll go about this.

*Several reads later*

Oh boy. They can't really think of anything else can't they?

Okay so, one thing I really really like genuinely hate about these stories is how the mc always acts so dumb. Like, girl, come on, I think for the past few years you've been in this world you ought to think that things develop.. idk NaTurAlly? Why do you keep saying that "things are changing" like no shit things are changing, you've changed and that's practically gonna cause a ripple effect on everything.

Oh, oh, and I hate it when ml is like obv showing feeeeelingsss but mc is just: (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠). "No OmG tHaTs NoT PosSIblE, cu'Z he'S supPosEd to FalL foR ThE OrigINaL FL!"

Fuck it even when the ml admits his feelings the girl is just like "no".

It's frustrating to me because authors tend to develop these ladies as quick thinkers and determined, always trying to find ways to avoid death flags set to them. But then they do those aforementioned things and it kinda makes you think how shallow they are. It's like they don't see the relationships they build as real ones and are all just superficial for specific reasons.

I understand the concern when you feel like you're trying to fight against fate but most of these stories don't even actually have that. Things do change and usually nothing terrible happens, but mc acts like there will be even though the author clearly only puts "horrible" things as plot advancers and nothing too serious.

Also, for those mc that woke up in their new body with a shit reputation paired with what everyone knows has a shit personality, why is everyone just okay with her changing all of the sudden — like its just plain stupid. If I knew someone who is evil suddenly becomes good overnight, I would not only be sceptical but also assume that she's possessed (seeing how magic always exists in these worlds i don't that's too far from the realm of possibility right?). This one honestly is what bugs me the most.

Suspicion is removed cu'z mc does something heroic or wonderful (blegh), but that kinda undermines the suffering other people have gone through with the original character. Some authors have even shown fully blown flashbacks where the original character is violent, verbally abusive and typical in every possible way. And these people just, flips a damn switch and say "Oh! She's changed!" Which boggles my mind every time I read something like that.

Which puts me to my next complaint. There is no real villain or even when there is they aren't really appealing. The problems set by the "original" story already gets destroyed like a couple chapters in, so what next? There are quite a lot of stories that just turn the OG Female Lead into whatever the villainess is supposed to be like: delusional, fake, etc. Which to me is, fine, but if you're gonna turn someone else in that world into a villain for the sake of having a bad guy, then why not put the stakes higher? Or at least give them more of a reason than just them feeling entitled to have the boyz. They don't have any substance to them and are bland af. Its a story vying for a downfall you already know will come.

Overall these ladies think too much and too little at the same time. Istg their dialogue can be summarized into "That didn't happen" "This didn't happen in the original.." "Is there a bug in the game..?" or "Why are things not going as the orignal!?"

It burns my brain trying to see through their eyes and understand their logic, until you realize they don't have common sense at all. They are geniuses only when they need to be, but is dumb af everywhere else.

Also, as much as I love puffy, frilly dresses I'm tired of mc changing the og characters seemingly sexiness into this cutesy vibe doesn't sit well with me. They're obviously trying to put this as more of a visual dichotomy between the original character and the current mc, but its not much of a statement. (But honestly this just may be me because I want more sexy mc you know?)

Trust me when I say this post barely covers half of what I truly feel about these stories and this is just the general gist of it. Also couldn't be bothered to add specific titles like the last rant.

[sewermageboy]

guilt and hate for the not-so-nice OC ask!!

in response to this ask meme.

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

I gravitate towards characters that are just a bunch of guilt in a trenchcoat, masquerading as a person, and it seems the same thing is true for OCs lmao.

On a personal level, Hyacinth mostly feels like they've failed their family. Their father, their only source of affection and warmth growing up, died when they tried to flee Menzoberranzan together, and they left their little brother behind, never knowing what became of him.

Hyacinth also has a 9 year old daughter, who is being raised by her father. Because of all the issues that Menzo gave them about motherhood etc, as well as just generally feeling like they would fail at being a parent, they think it's better to pose as their daughter's godparent.

Now, they could reach out and try to find out what became of their brother, but they're too terrified of what they might find out. What if he died? What if their entire family was destroyed in the more than two centuries since they left Menzo? What if their mother is still alive somehow, and still searching for them to punish them for running away? What if their brother became as cruel and sadistic as everyone Hyacinth knew during their youth?

In the same vein, they could tell their daughter they are her parent, but the same fears hold them back here as well. What if she resents them once she learns the truth? What if her life is made worse if people learn that she is half drow? What if Hyacinth tries to be a parent, and it still isn't enough?

It's much easier to simply accept the guilt, so they don't have to face the possibility of more failure.

The more abstract guilt, I think, would come mostly once they heard about Drizzt and his story, how he left Menzo because he couldn't let go of his inherent goodness and his principles. Hyacinth feels like, in comparison, they fled for purely selfish reasons (aka knowing they would never be able to live as non-binary while living there), and if they hadn't had that reason, they probably would have done quite well for themself in a city as hateful as Menzoberranzan.

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

Spiders. Hyacinth really, really hates spiders. I think they were terrified of them for so long, and then one day on the surface, they accidentally killed one and realized that they could? That there were no negative repercussions from killing something sacred to Lolth.

And I think since that day, their first instinct when seeing a spider is to squash, poor things.

The other thing they hate is cruelty without reason. Like, cruelty out of necessity, out of revenge, they can understand to some extent, but cruelty just for the sake of it? They're gonna fuck you up. (Decided on that one when they met the goblin who tries to trick the hyena into fetching a bone from the shadow curse. Hyacinth didn't hesitate to make that gnome go out and fetch the bone himself.)

[purplemys]

Part 2

The Love Triangles and Why They're Great Here

I have a lot of gripes about love triangles. First, the Second Love Interest is either bland/awful/an interesting third wheel. Inuyasha. Second, both Love Interests are just awful. Twilight.

Go Back Couple avoids this by making the love interests not only likeable and interesting but also giving them valid reasons as to why they're not the best option for the leads or why they're no longer even an option, and thankfully not by giving them love interests of their own.

Good scene btw.

First, we should compare and contrast everyone in the two love triangles.

*Ban-do - snarky, earnest, impulsive, observant, righteous, and hardworking

*Nam-gil - distant (towards everyone initially), sentimental (mostly with Jin-joo), and abrasive (towards his mothers and other girls)

*Jin-joo - sweet, naive, sentimental, temperemental, hardworking, and somewhat vain

*Seo Yeong - gentle, graceful, easy-going(especially later on), and distant (particuarly when it comes to her problems)

Everyone's default here is nice. These people are generally polite but on their own, they vary so it seems they don't have a lot in common on the surface.

Ban-do vs. Nam-gil

I was worried they'd make Nam-gil just look like the best option instead of actually developing Ban-do into the ideal but remember the premise, Jin-joo married this man for a reason and the show wonderfully displays Ban-do's best qualities to balance out his rascal tendencies.

Ban-do tends to look out for people who couldn't defend themselves, likely because he got into scuffles and would likely be grateful if he was helped the same way. He looked after teens, elderly and even his fellow schoolmate like Ye-rim, yes, it was mostly to fuck with Park but his plan still saved her from a sham of a marriage. All that, coupled with all the times he went out of his way to keep Jin-joo safe from con artists like the English Major and Park himself. Yeah, he was a douche about it but he still meant well. When he overheard Park talking shit about Jin-joo, and at the time he was bitter with her, he still went out of his way to ruin Park's day because fuck that guy.

Nam-gil was not the better guy. Jin-joo tried to woo him, with the fact that he would have turn out to become a famous billionaire History Lecturer , clearly not the best motive. Nam-gil was distant, fickle and was fine being rude to other people with the exception of Jin-joo because Jin-joo was nice to him. He's got a lot of issues he was bottling up and he wanted someone who might have understood that and it was Jin-joo. It would have been sweet really but he wouldn't have been trying to be nicer to his peers if Jin-joo didn't ask.

The end of the story wraps up with these two coming to an understanding when it came to their love for Jin-joo. Ban-do didn't have to, could have let his pride and jealousy get in the way, but he was humble enough to find Nam-gil and thank him for saving Jin-joo from Park Hyung Seok's assault. Nam-gil in turn realized that Ban-do was being genuine and that lead him to confessing to Jin-joo for the sake of being open and honest, with not only her but also himself, letting her go at the end of their date.

Jin-joo vs. Seo Young

I was concerned Seo Young was gonna be too perfect or a secret mean girl just to cause conflict with Jin-joo. Thankfully, Jin-joo still had to work on her flaws to be a better person/partner and Seo Young didn't have to be put down as a character.

Jin-joo being somewhat vain, insecure and materialistic (to a degree) leads to her having this highly romantic or naive idea of marriages. She tried to get with Nam-gil (a future billionaire history lecturer who was supposedly in love with her) and Hyung Seok (Ban-do's future boss-doctor at the pharmaceutical company). After Nam-gil coldly rejected her, she almost immediately ceased all attraction to him, as he gave a bad impression. She only viewed him as a younger man with issues after that. Hyung Seok's sexist comments angered her and it finally made her heed Ban-do's warnings about him.

Seo Young on the other hand, as far as I knew, never had a boyfriend and wasn't looking for one. She was just a school dancer and heart throb, weighed down by academics and theatre by her parents. She just needed someone who was unconditionally supportive and caring of her and her interests.

Unfortunately, they don't have an actual relationship but that doesn't mean they don't add a little something to each other's character on a meta level. The deeper dynamic was one-sided, with Jin-joo being jealous of Seo Young for not only being Ban-do's first love but also being perfect- pretty, popular and talented. Jin-joo eventually learned to regain her appreciation for Ban-do's earnest and hardworking personality, the same one that made Seo Yeong fall in love.

Seo Young for her part, never actually met Jin-joo personally. Especially in the past as they were strangers. In this timeline, she only met the other a few times and her only impressions were 1) She hates Ban-do, 2) She's good at singing and cooking, and 3) She's Ban-do's true love.

When Seo Young figured them out, she was shown to be very happy for them, which was mature. Instead of asking Ban-do to change for them to be together, she supported him and only wished they could still be friends, which she deserved!

With all the dynamics being this good, I want to talk about the best one of all which is of course Ban-do and Jin-joo. They have the best plot and now I will be discussing the timeline of their relationship.

[bloos-bloo]

So a little different from what I normally post on here. But I’ve been keeping up with Shelby coming out about the abuse Wilbur did to her. And the way that the internet is handling this like it’s some drama? Like no? The fuck it isn’t?? It’s literally a crime-

A human bite is so fucking dangerous and the fact that she had MULTIPLE BITES? Insane?? What the fuck?

I will admit, I avoided watching her stream since I’m also an abuse survivor. I constantly undermine my experiences- I hate calling myself a victim because I don’t believe the severity of it was as bad as it could have been. But, listening to Shelby talk about her trauma made me realize that abuse is abuse.

I’m gonna go on a small rant here- just because this whole thing has been kinda sending me in a spiral-

I listened to the stream and I sympathized with her and understood her. When you’re in an abusive situation, it’s really hard to find it in yourself to get out. Finding reasons why the bruises aren’t bad and that it could be worse. Trying to get people to understand that it’s not your abusers fault, that you did something to piss them off. I get that- I went through that.

I was a kid. My abuser was a kid. He would either use his or my own body to get me to listen to him. We were in middle school for fuck sake- Did he hit me? Yes. Did he verbally assault me? Yes. Were we both minors? Yes. Does this make my situation seem less than any other? I don’t know- Again, I can’t bring myself to fully accept the fact that I am a victim despite the fact it happened a few years ago at this point.

Now, the half-assed apology Wilbur posted deadass reminded me of mine. When someone is caught, they do everything to pin the reason for their actions on anybody else but themselves. And that’s what he did. He apologized for her feelings getting hurt, not the fact that he caused it. I went through that, but I was forced to accept the apology through my school officials- I had to so we can ‘maintain the peace’. I love the fact that Shelby publicly said that she didn’t accept it. She was so strong for so long- she didn’t deserve that, nobody does.

And the fact that people online are trying to force responses out of EVERYBODY? They shouldn’t do that- and again, I understand taking time to recollect. You know how long I spent staying around my abuser just because I had friends who still talked to him? So long. But at the same time, I couldn’t drop him either for a while- He was my best friend- and despite the fact he hurt me so badly. I couldn’t drop him.

Give people time to say something. It’s a LOT harder than it seems- it’s different for fans since we don’t know CCs beyond the internet, but for CCs who talking irl and have been for years? It’s so damn hard-

To other abuse survivors: Remember that you are loved, you are strong, and you are so fucking brave.

Please give all your support to Shelby, and fuck Wilbur.

[bylightofdawn]

WIP Sunday

Okay so I'm TECHNICALLY 30 minutes late but ya'll I think this is the first WIP Sunday I've done in three weeks so we're not going to dither over the nitty gritty details.

Jaster is meeting with Plo and Tyvokka regarding his frustrations in finding a trade negotiator and broker who is willing to stand up to the Trade Federation goons. Afterwards, their talk shifts to other topics and he royally puts his foot in his mouth because he has -100 speech sometimes. Story spoiler characters beneath the cut, you have been warned. I'm also SO FUCKING CLOSE to ending this chapter but I have a blinding migraine and I just...cannot brain any further. I guess this way ya'll don't have to deal with any cliffhangers cause this was gonna end on one. As always, this is super rough and not edited yadda yadda

“Aside from stress regarding trying to iron out a fair trade agreement for Mandalore, how are things going otherwise? Jango looked in fine health when I saw him.”

“He’s pretty much fully recovered, he’s been pestering me to let him join the patrols.”

That earned him a sharp look from Arla because apparently her brother hadn’t felt the need to inform her of that. And judging by the way her eyes narrowed angrily, she wasn’t pleased with this development.

“Have you…had any further issues with Death Watch?” Plo Koon asked carefully.

“They seem to have gone to ground. I’m not sure if they are reinforcing and preparing for an all out assault or what.” Jaster very pointedly didn’t glance in Arla’s direction. “Coruscant is a nightmare to try and track anyone.”

“Honestly, I’d much prefer to conclude our business here and fight with them just about anywhere else in the galaxy. And I’m sure the CSF feel the same way, the sooner we get off of their planet with the minimal amount of damage to the city or its citizens, the better.” Jaster admitted, rubbing at his face tiredly.

Tyvokka growled something and the crisp Coruscanti accent of the translation program echoed his sentiments. “We would prefer to avoid outright warfare in the streets as well.”

“I understand, Master Tyvokka, which is what we are trying to accomplish because I can assure you, I don’t want any collateral damage or blood on my hands either. We aren’t Death Watch where civilian lives are considered an acceptable cost for victory’s sake.”

Belatedly, he realized how thoughtless a thing to say in front of Arla and he slanted a guilty look the blonde’s way. “Sorry, habit.”

Her chin jerked up in a belligerent angle.

“Don’t apologize; you’re right. The slaughter of my family proves that. Death Watch doesn’t care about innocent bystanders or collateral damage. I should know; I was one of them. What do you think my kill count is?” She spat the last part before turning coldly on her heel and stalking out of the room.

“Jaster…”

“I know, ner kar’ta.” He’d already jumped to his feet when Plo called his name. “Excuse me, I’m sorry.”

“Of course, go focus on Arla.”

He needed no further convincing and jogged out of the room in search of Arla. He knew he was on the right track when he ran into a wounded-looking Jango.

“What the kriff did you say to her?” His son hissed at him.

“I screwed up, ad’ika. Where is she?”

“She was headed up to the roof. You might want to wear a jackpack in case she decides to push you off!” Jango called after him as he pushed by.

“You missed your calling as a comedian, Jango.” Jaster shot back over his shoulder as he reached the turbolift. Unlike Arla, it was coded to give him full access to the condo’s lift system. Jango had joked about her throwing him off of the roof but a more realistic scenario and one she thankfully had not tried so far was for her to overpower one of them, maybe knock them unconscious--or worse--and use their biometrics to try and escape.

There had been a reason all of them had been armed around her for the first few weeks though she hadn’t really made any earnest attempts to escape.

Now, he had no idea what emotional state he’d find the young woman in now that he’d so thoughtlessly triggered her trauma responses. Belatedly, he realized there was a smattering of blood in the corner of the lift which looked worryingly fresh.

Jaster was concerned Arla might have hurt herself somehow and the moment the lift door opened, he ran out of them, desperately searching around for the blonde.

“Arla!” He spotted her near the rooftop’s edge on the lounge she seemed to favor. She sat with her knees curled up to her chest and her face buried in her arms.

“Go. Away!” She snarled at him and Jaster could hear the waver in her voice.

Guilt flooded him as he cautiously approached.

“I’m sorry. I am a complete and utter ass.”

“I don’t care about your stupid apologies. Leave me alone!” Arla shouted at him.

“I can’t, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you when I said that, Arla. None of us blame you for what you did when you were in Death Watch. You were kidnapped, tortured, and brainwashed into doing what they want. They had to pump you full of drugs to keep you compliant. You are not responsible for what you did with them.”

“Maybe that’s good enough for you, but it’s not good enough for me.” When she raised her head to glare at him, Jaster could see the tears running down her cheeks and his heart ached for the girl.

“We’ve all done things we regret. You have the choice to drag that around like chains holding you to your past, or you can choose to acknowledge what you did but also that you were manipulated and abused until it was easier to comply than fight Death Watch.”

The dark-haired man carefully approached and finally knelt in front of Arla on the deck so they were more or less at eye level. “We Mandalorians…we understand that sometimes your past contains so many awful and painful memories that you long for a fresh start. If you want, when we get back to Mandalore, we can arrange for you to perform a cin vhetin.”

“That only works with non-Mandalorians.” The blonde argued somewhat weakly and this close, Jaster could see the shivers running through her frame.

“I”m the Mand’alor. I make the rules and deem an exception will be made here. Let the old you die so that you can live a healed life with a happier and more honorable future. Because you might try and convince me you’re a monster, Arla Fett, but I know better. I’ve known true monsters, and you are not one of them.”

After a moment’s hesitation, he reached out and touched her shoulder gently.

She looked at him with red-rimmed, tear-filled eyes and Jaster suddenly found himself nearly back onto his ass when she slid off of the lounge and threw herself at him with a sob. Shocked but unwilling to ignore that silent plea for comfort, he wrapped his arms around the crying woman and did his best to soothe her as she cried into his shoulder.

He had some experience of this from when Jango had been much younger and less likely to squirm in the face of any affection, so he drew upon those old tricks and smoothed his hand up and down Arla’s back soothingly and just let her cry herself out.

If she was anything like her brother, she wouldn’t spill her guts or tell him what was going on inside her brain, and trying to pry it out from her would probably send her skittering away like a skittish tooka.