#for me it jusf does nothing

[asummersday]

My favorite thing ever is writing a character drinking coffee to stay awake when coffee has exactly zero (0) effect on me whatsoever so I cant even confirm if that method works

[thefunniestguy]

Martin Mertens ..................

[littlelegoman]

Spoliers for dragon's rising

Spelling mistakes as well. Also I didn't write down Episode four's thing but I watched it.

Episode One:

A Netflix series; I see where we went wrong /hj

I love the way it rifts open like an eye.

What's that one song uh "thank you, I'll say goodbye soon.. though it's the end if the world; don't blame yourself now..."

Because that's the emotion I have

LLOYD MY BELOVED

He's so... he feels so different? Matured?

All the realms colliding is such an interesting thing to me.

LLOYD'S MASK

Now now Arin they may be Skeletons, Snails, and Frogs but they're still people like you and I there's no need for their species labeled first /j /lh

SORA IS SO /POS

PINK HAIR AND GAMED GIRL HEAD PHONES <3

She's so funny

Arin and Sora are so sister and brother vibe

I forget this is a kid's show and then the robots start fucking dancing

ALSO sora gives off Jay x Nya child vibes even though she looks nothing like them

Oo serpentine :D

"My fam" I'm- I'm cringing so hard

You're poor and yet you have a pent house?

Do they just give these things away???

It seems the merge hasn't been around for long; Arin is still the same height so

AZURE LION IS THAT YOU? /j /j

"Weakness, noun, quality of-" YOU LEAVE THAT LITTLE GUY ALONE

SNAKES THE SERPENTINE.

"Thst thing "

What happened to Lobbo's mom? I'm curious

The frog man Iis /pos

KREEL

I love that she calls them friends even though they're not

But by golly who dressed her up

GREEN? I.mean really, GREEN? And pURPLE?? GIRLY, get a hold of yourself.

Kreel is interesting. Is this a new kin I'm smelling? /hj

LOBBO MH BELOVED

That's so autism (/pos)

I want lobbo to win screw these guys, haha

Sora has ptsd.

yes YES LOBBO

Fuck lobbo's mom! Let's go! LETS GOOO

"Who are these kids?!" I wonder this all the time

The Dragon giving them powers is so interestin-- because ninjago realm wise it isn't possible but now the whole world turned upside down and nothing is the same

And I love it

IS THST AN ONI

Oh fuck that's the rip off Azure Lion /j

He looks like an Oni with the markings

Oh hey he has heterochromia

"I've known you for a while now" SCARED ME SO BAD I WANT THEM TO BE FRIENDS AND ONLY FRIENDS PLEASE

Please let me have this

LlOYD HEY WHATS UP BUDDY

Episode two:

He looks great for a man in green

I Haye the color green with a passion

NINJA FANDOM I love sora

this is unrelated but apparently we're winning (/ij)

It's not completely spinjitsu, there are different things about it

YEAH IT WAS A WEIRD VERSION but it was kinda similar

Lloyd knows nothing anymkre

THAT MAN WAS A TIGER? Oh God im--

Sora isn't from ninjago I don't think so her logic is different

"Not all of us.."

GOD ITS MASTER WU

Family is key

Haha

KH MT GOD DOES HE EVER TELL ANYONE ANYTHING

Yes.. chaos.

All 16 realms ahaha

Okay So Lloyd is alive; so is Kai,

Ah, cracks in reality.

Nothing makes sense and I

Wu is gone LETS GOO

I don't know if fhat means he's dead or missing but it's the same thing really

It's kinda strange. I miss how things were but the chaos is so inviting....

Riyu my beloved

DONT JUSF STAND THERE

Rapton my hated.

HOLY SHIT as if he wasn't a god before

It's only temporary though. At least it should be.

"There is a connection between us" please don't say it like that

The Dragon leader is wise indeed. I like her.

OOH woman

Oh I love her laugh

Episode 3:

I'm thinking of how Ras is merely a pawn in this woman's game.

ANYWAYS wu's picture is odd. Not like suspicious but it feels so strange.

Lloyd my beloved

haha he takes after wu

Lloyd having no facial hair is amazing "that's why I grew this beard" "What beard"

I'm getting flash backs hehe .

It's interesting because before Sora seemed more competent, but now Arin seems more competent.

THEY MASAACERED MY BOY RIYU

That's so nice to see the species who used to hate each other so much getting along and living together.

Mikloshe my beloved

LOBBO MY LOVE

He's such a little gjg

He's so autism

LABBO NO LABBO NO

You ET MY BOY GO

I did not expect Mikloshe to be feminine but I am making no complientes because the last girl snake was fuckkng pink

LLOYD BEJNG SELF AWARE

Labbo!

Oh who does my heart belong to; Labbo or Kreel?

Such a hard decision

Oh my God fuck off I just realized a good portion of my kins are autistic coded but they're robots

This is like finding the 16 realms became one ugh

Anyways

I like kreel, I think she's very interesting

LABBO

He's so /pos

Oh see I told you Kreel likes them (the henchmen)

Actually this is justifiable- well almost

Lloyd is like a concerned father right Now

OG THE MEMORIAL

Does Lloyd not have a picture? Interesting. But Kai is alive so thet means there's a chance everyone else is.

It's changed a lot yeah but it's been like a year; "my new best friend" and "we stuck together after she escaped" J IMAGINE THERE ISNT LIKE TEN YEARS BEYWEEN THAT

Arin's voice is still the same I think so he didn't change

Lloyd being told he looks like his uncle

(Call back to is Garmadon really Lloyd's father... /hj)

Dorama! Get it cause... drama.

Also, these all look like Kreel's minions which she says are her "friends-ish who work for her". None of them look like they'd be special.

Whack Rats seem to be at least as sentient as a human just non verbal...

Okay Dorama is growing on me he keeps getting trickier and trickier..

Kreel giving Labbo advice also he's closed of he's si autistic he IS SO ME

Lloyd owning up to his mistakes

NO YKU DID NOT JUST SAY "Dorama x Ras" I CANT BELIVE YKJ WOULD SAY THAT

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY IM

Lloyd makes a good point about Sora and he'd powers.

THIS ISNT VERH /POS OF YOU KAI

It's not his fault I just want to know where he is.

"Should we be taking notes?"

"Let us never speak of this." DUDE HE'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN WU

I learned so much from my History Teacher because he was so chill (but not too chill) and fun. He was also gay but you get the point

Dorama hehe

Evil science woman! That's interesting. She doesn't seem really scared of Ras. Perhaps because she's not disposable.

She flinched when he growls but her tone isn't afraid and she seems to sass him

OH MY GOD WE'BE SEEN THOSE BEFORE

The craglings

I love Lloyd he's so much better than Wu

OOH water

nYA

oh God

LLOYD HEHE

HIS LITTLE POSE

Ninja nya our beloved hero (the title she deserves)

The cragling leader is so understanding AND THEN BECOMES RACIST

KAI'S GONE??

He's just missing right?

KAI KAI HEY

KAI'S GIRLY SCREAM AND NK ONE PAYS ATTENTJON TO JT

"ITS ALMOST AS IF I CSN HEAR KAI'S CRIES FOR HELP IN MY HEAD"

(I can still hear his voice; gay gay homosexual gay)

I like to think of Sora and Arin as Lloyd's kids/younger siblings

They're like a big happy family and I'm the dad and Logans the mom/ ref

"A dragon saved us?!"

LLOYD IS EVEN BETTER TNAN WU YEAHH

Also haha sora is so me sometimes

Episode 5?:

"THE KAI" I'm looking at MK right now /hj

CLOUD KINGDOMMMM

Oh my God what the hell is thst

It looks like the uh... season five thing

Also I like how the dragons look like the ninjas

AIR MAGIC AIR MAGIC

Getting flash backs to Morro

oHOLY SHIT

It makes sense because he's dead and the powers pass on. I like that.

Oh yes. I like that indeed.

Cloud Monk Woman my beloved.

EUPHRASIA I love you

YES GIRLLY

Slay quern

"I think... she is saving us."

"None of us were writing anything"

Destiny stopped existing the minute the merge happened.

"I knew the last one. I like you more." PLEASE MORRO HE WASNT BAD

Euphrasia... very nice.

The empress?... my my...

We keep losing people

Episode six:

Oh my God did Raptop or whatever his name is just die? He was crushed

How is be alive.

IMPERIUM

Sora is so good so /pos so smart.

Ana...?

Don't you dead name my girl

EMPEESS BEATRIX

OH MY GOD JTS A CULT

oh Dr. LaRow the woman who doesn't seem to fear the ras man.

Lloyd the ever caring father

Imperium... imperialism

Ohh. Sora.

Oh that's where she takes her name from.

Why does she have pink hair if those are her parents

Sorry sorry I just have nothing to say on this on.

The new prisoner is dangerous! And he isn't kai!

Oh okay so jt does seem its been a long time. Ten years? Five?

Episode 7:

This is a cult

PERCIVAL TARTIGRADE

Haha why does he look sound and act like my type /hj

Lucky for me I'll also what he is age wise

He's such a little guy

WyldFyre... hmm... she's not smart is she.

Here's the thing is that she isn't from their world so it's okay thst she has fire powers because this isn't her world.

Dorama how intelligent.

Everyone is so intelligent when they're not from the ninjago /lh

How old is everyone I can't tell

ITPF SOUNDS LIKE A PERSONALITY THLE

Percival is so autistic with his also autistic friends

I'm not mad at them, they've been indoctrinated.

WyldFyre

oh my God she's a dragon

Heatwave raised her haha

Rapton reminds me of someone...

YES SHE DOES REALLY HAVE KT

Hehe WyldFyre is just a little guy

Episode 8;

Lava dragons hehe.

OOH how she's raised. Can only the leader speak?

Interesting.

I wonder how she got her powers then

Yeah she's like like a young adult. Ughhh time works differently in realms but nwo they're all kne holy shit this tkmeline is so confusing

"An outlander?!"

Dude, he acts like he just did drugs in front of the police

Right right, she's impulsive but not stupid. I apologize for my previous statement. She seems survived this long, she'll be fine. She may not be book smart but she's not a fool.

"Oh good. A ghost."

IS THST MASTER WU?

I love kai

Well once the world's merged laws broke.

Percival, haha. I love him. It's more of a he's so me guys.

Thespian haha

they're so funny they're like funny (claws of imperium)

"Percival is like Red Son but powerless and in a cult" I- you're-

That's not even the point my dear.

Is it raining outside?

Oh. It is.

Episode 9:

Wu and Lloyd training??? Nice I like to see it.

I think this is a crime though...

MELVIN

Percival winning andbshdjdjd

He's so me j want hjm to be happy

If he dies I'm crying

"And yet a child brought this beast to me on his toy hoverboard" YEAH THATS RIGHT HES GREAT

I fucking knew it was wu this man never shuts up/ hj /lh

Dude how do they not see them

Bombs are bad for hearing.

DRAGON PSYCHOLOGIST

Zane ZANE MY BOY

Okay so the merge was years ago.

But how many because it's not clear

HAHA

Episode ten:

Don't you dead name my girl.

Now we're missing Jay and Cole... okay.

Got it

I don't know her name but I know it was said earlier.

Lloyd falling down the stairs is amazing.

Sora and Arin are smart.

What the hell is that ball. It's funny I don't swear this much I'll

Oh oh jts telepath

Lloyd becomes God from the power /hj

DUDE IS ON AN ACID TRIP.

HE REALLY BECAME GOD

Lloyd's has became God so many times before but it never stayed.

I want Percival back

[tchaikovskym]

Me trying to bond with the girls at work but the girls at work talked about boy body types and what do they like while I was having an existential crisis abt my sexuality and failed to bond

[doebt]

wall mart

[sips-tea-cutely]

hello hello! so i was looking at the request rules and say that mod ibuki wrote for genshin impact-

so could i get diluc with an s/o who loves to cook and bake for him?

thank you my dear /p

Diluc’s s/o who loves to cook and bake

note: im so sorry i took like how many months to get online you can get mad at me if you want i deserve it hh also lowercase is intended and im sorry if it makes people uncomfy, if it does please tell me so i can change it next time! also please excuse my lack of knowledge of diluc hh also i jusf made up some info here lol

y/n = your name, l/n = last name, f/p = favorite pastry, f/f = favorite food,

Story under the cut!

#Diluc Ragnvindr

as they sat on the couch in their living room, they began to ponder. "im kinda bored right now. whens diluc getting home? hh i miss him"

they then remembered they had a hobby, which is baking and cooking. they sprint towards the kitchen and start to get to work. they decided to make f/p, a dish called "once upon mondstadt", and f/f.

you always had the ingredients ready because you know after a long day of work, he certainly would love to have a good meal. they looked at the clock, and it read 4:46, and it ticked to 4:47 in an instant. "i have enough time! i can do this." as they recalled, diluc would come home at around 7:00.

they wanted this to be a surprise for their dear lover. there was nothing special being celebrated in particular, they just wanted to show their appreciation for their dear lover, knowing they wouldnt be this content if it werent for him.

an hour has passed, and y/n was almost done with their recipe, as they heard the door open. their heads whipped towards the door, as they panicked. they looked at the clock, as it read 5:50. "he should've been home in like 2 hours wtf is he doing here???"

he came over to the kitchen to hug them from behind. "im home, y/n."

"a-ah, hello love!" "are you okay? you seem stressed."

they quickly reassured him with "i-im fine! i just didnt expect for you to come home so early..."

he eyes them suspiciously. "you arent hiding something from me, are you?" his lover's eyes widened. "wh-! why of course not! if you are thinking im cheating on you im certainly no-!"

"..i wasnt thinking about you cheating in particular, just are you hiding something? a surprise perhaps?"

they froze. "HOW THE FU-"

"a-ah, of course not!"

....

"get changed and come meet at the table, dinner will be ready..."

diluc's response was just a chuckle. he unwrapped his arms from his lover's waist and kissed them on the forehead. once he headed towards the bathroom, y/n sighed and started to get back to work.

once diluc was done with his bath, he came out in pajamas and sat next to his lover. he saw the food on the table and widened his eyes.

"my my. is there a special occasion perhaps?"

"ah, no not really."

"oh? then why-"

"it was supposed to be a surprise but you came home so early.." diluc chuckled. "but for what cause?" he smiled down at his s/o.

y/n leaned on his shoulder and whispered "well, it was to thank you. you were always there for me and i wouldnt be who i am today if it werent for you."

diluc flushed red. he cleared his throat as y/n looked up at him. "well arent you sappy today?"

y/n just laughed. they pecked diluc on the lips and stood up. "oh well. maybe its my mood today. im gonna go take a bath now love~! oh! i also hope you got a new recipe!" they yelled while walking to the bathroom.

"oh i certainly do!"

diluc sighed as he stared off at the food before him. he then smiled lightly. "hah. what has gotten into me, y/n? how in the world do you make me feel this way?"

[primalsouls]

checkup

albedo x m! reader

⚠️ : none but let me know!

theme: general

note: albedo albedo albedo albedo. i just love albedo and want to write something more general because usually the fics i read tend to be too fluff or too angst and sometimes other fics tend to feel like a super slow. like, im not trying to read an eassy. 💀 jkjk lol anyway, enjoy, hope you like it! and thank you for reading! let me know what you think. :)

⊱ ──────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────── ⊰

Dragonspine was never in their bucket list of places to visit. It was deadly cold. Monsters roamed around. Even the Fatui were presented. [Y/N] was surprised how he managed to reached the campus set out by the Chief Alchemist further up the mountain. One would think he would camp out with the group based at the bottom of the mountain. He was a skilled swordman and his vision kept him warm throughout the difficult journey as best as it could. He did broke a sweat when fighting a few monsters but all that was important was his destination. Thus meeting Albedo, the genius Kreideprinz. [Y/N] was new to the Knight of Favonius, started back a few weeks ago. Today he was ordered by the Acting Grand Master to assist the Captain of the Investigation Team in one of his experiments. Or alternatively, Jean worried about the alchemist not taking care of himself and potentially risking failed experiments turn to unwanted results in Dragonspine and Mondstadt.

It was his order to check on the man. But, by the Archons, does he had to camp this far up. [Y/N] groaned when he reached a broken bridge. How was he going to get to the other side? Ah, right. Gliding. With a good running start, he could jump just high enough and glide his way to the other half of the fallen bridge with no added injuries. A flawless plan.

Not.

A scream left his lips when he jumped as best as he could after his run. No wonder he did terrible at mathematics. His calculations were off. And now, he was going to pump down to his end. Just to check on some big-time, smart guy. [Y/N] should had decline. But he wanted to prove himself. For what now? Prove he can see the light firsthand? What a joke. He reached out, his hand inches away from the other broken part of the bridge. He was so focus on reaching something to grab on he didn't hear his own scream leave his mouth nor the abrupted tug on his hand held by another. He came to his senses when he smacked against the wall under the brigde harshly, letting out a groan. [Y/N] looked up. [E/C] eyes met bright teal eyes. Such beautiful eyes. It felt like he was staring into emerald instead. They outshined the blues around Dragonspine. Like sun if the clouds ever go away.

"Are you only going to keep staring or help me pull you up?" He heard, the soothe voice snapping [Y/N] out of their thoughts. A blush bloomed on his face as he cleared his throat, using his other hand to keep himself firm in their hold.

"S-Sorry..." [Y/N] mumbled as he was pulled up. Solid, cold ground was what he felt right away. He looked over his shoulder, grimacing at the sight of the long fall he could had experienced first and last. Cursing the fall away, the knight turned back to his savior, about to thank them until he stopped himself. Upon closer look, his savior was... handsome. Their ashy light blonde hair reached below their shoulders, pulled back in a braided ponytail. It lookes adorable. Soft, even. It makes him want to run his fingers through it. Realizing he was staring again, [Y/N] cleared his throat as he shook his head, his blush increasing in color. Eyes darted to stare at the ground instead. "Uh, thank yo-you... Thank you for saving me back there." The knight said with a small smile, looking back his savior only to see them walk away already. "What?" [Y/N] sat there forzen, not believing what happened. He chuckled weakly, now pissed for the rude manner. "Hey, wait up!" He stood up from the ground, dusting himself off from any snow as he ran up to catch up to the mystery person. "You know, it's really rude to jusf walk away like that!" [Y/N] complained, slowing down as he came up to a campsite. His eyes widen a bit. There were bookshelves lined up again the walls of the cavern. Tables filled with written pages and materials. A small set of art supplies in one area and an crafting table by his side. Did his savior lived here? Wait, was this...?

"Are you the Captain of the Investigation Team, Albedo?" The knight said, walking up to the alchemist who simply nodded with no reply. He was focused on his work, [Y/N] could see that. "Oh okay..." He muttered underneath his breath, raising a brow. Well, here he was. The alchemist looked alright. There was no sight of any failed experiments. Mondstadt was good to stay for another day. But [Y/N] wasn't leaving yet. "My name is [F/N]. I was ordered by the Acting Grand Master to check on you... Which is why I'm here..." Albedo only gave a faint hum. What a conversationalist. "Okaaay..." The young man looked around. He couldn't just leave after what he just experienced. He was still shaky.

"Where are you from?" [Y/N] asked, attempting to make a conversation.

"Here and there." Albedo replied bluntly.

"What do you do?"

"This and that."

"You ever-"

"Now and then."

"Gosh, you're just full of information." [Y/N] grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And you're just full of interruptions." Albedo fired back, finally looking away from his work and turned to the knight. His expression was stoic but his beautiful emerald eyes held a hint of annoyance. His comment made the other man pouted and rolled his eyes. "You done your quest. Now, you may leave."

"What the-? Huh?" He couldn't believe it. He was being kicked out? Reasonable, actually. But still. What a rude alchemist. "Okay, look, I have to actually make sure you're okay and Jean said to stay for a few days before I return, anyway." [Y/N] explained. Albedo sighed softly, disinterested from the interaction. The knight clicked his tongue. "So, no, I'm not leaving." The knight huffed, head held high. Albedo hummed again, already looking back at his work. "Oh my- really?" [Y/N] shook his head, running a hand through his hair. He kept studying the area they were in, trying to locate any sort of self-care going on. There was a cook pot but the burned woods look as if it had went out hours ago. "How long had you been working?"

Albedo shrugged, papers being moved around in his area. [Y/N] sighed. He went to stand beside the table, inches away from him to not disturb his work. With the closeup, [Y/N] saw fainted dark circles under his eyes. He looked a little pale, too.

"Have you eaten at all? Rest?" He asked softly, a frown on his face. His gloved hands rest on his waist. [Y/N] looked like a parent scolding their child. Albedo shrugged again. The knight groaned, head tilted back. The lack of responses were starting to pissed him off. "I'll make you something." He grumbled, looking into his traveling bag as he walked over to the pot. Using his Pryo vision, he watched the flames come to alive once more. He pulled out pre-packaged ingredients he made himself before he set off.

Albedo's concentration was fully on his project but the smell of a delicious meal wandered around his nose. It pulled him out of his priority. The scent made his stomach growled. The Geo user stopped what he was doing and turned around. His eyes spotted the knight crouched down beside the pot, stirring around the contents it cooked. The flames illuminated the small cave, the knight's face glowed from it. Hair swayed back, half-lidded eyes stared boredly at the pot. Soft lips pressed into a thin line. It was a pretty sight. A perfect picture. A gorgeous paint on a canvas. His canvas. The scenery needed to be painted in his canvas.

[Y/N] heard movements behind him but he didn't bother to look up. He figured the alchemist was still all over his experiments. Behind his back, Albedo set up his easel, an 18x24 canvas rest nicely on it. His paints, brushes, and palette laid beside him on a stool with a cup of water on it as well. He began to sketch out the sight, a concentrated frown on his face.

"Hmm... I think it's done." [Y/N] muttered to himself, smiling a bit at the cooked stew he made. He was about to get up but a shout stopped him.

"Don't move! I'm not done yet." He heard the alchemist. The Pyro user blinked, confusion written over his face. "Not done..." Albedo continued, his hand moving a brush around. [Y/N] swallowed, wondering what he was doing.

"Why can't I move?" He asked, still in the position.

"Because I'm not finish."

"Finish with what?"

"The painting... It's not finished..." Albedo trailed off, focusing more on the canvas. [Y/N] was dumbfounded. Ah, right. The alchemist had a set of art supplies. But why could he be painting? Was he painting him? He was just sitting around the cook pot, nothing else. What did he capture in his mind to had the urge to paint? So much questions ran through his head and his face rest back to how it was when the knight stared at the pot. Just what Albedo needed to complete his new piece.

Half an hour passed and the flames were small. the pot was sat beside it. No need to have burnt food. [Y/N]'s legs were starting to cramp.

"Are you do-"

"Done." Albedo finished for him, stepping back from his canvas. [Y/N] sighed in relief as he stood up and stretched his limps out, hearing a few joints popped. Surely didn't sounded good but felt good. He walked over to Albedo.

"Can I see, please?" He asked, tilting his head. Albedo stared at the canvas before shifting his eyes over to the knight. He suddenly felt flustered. What a foreign feeling. It was he was embarrassed. He was not embarrassed. His face felt warmed. Was he blushing? What was going on? [Y/N] waited for an answer, raising a brow as he sent a charming smile his way. Why did such a gesture made his chest tightened but in a good way? Like something fluttered inside him. Was his heart beat increasing? Impossible. Feelings were unfamiliar to him. So, why was he experiencing them right now? "Albedo..." His name rolled out of his mouth. It sounded perfect. Did he just noticed it?

"It's not finished..." Albedo replied quickly, throwing [Y/N] off guard.

"But you said-"

"It's not finished." Albedo repeated, clearing his throat. The knight nodded slowly.

"Okaay..." [Y/N] mumbled, looking back at the pot. "Ah, well, dinner is ready. C'mon, let's eat." He said, walking back at the pot to begin serving the meal for both. Albedo watched him, lips parted slightly. His teal eyes moved back to the canvas. Finished. It was finished. He just... didn't want to show the knight but why? It was beautifully painted. A pretty piece. The look he captured from the knight painted there. Admirable.

"Are you coming or what?" [Y/N] called out, already setting the other table for them to eat at. Albedo blinked and nodded a second later. He placed his brush and palette down, taking his gloves off as he made his way over. There they sat. In complete silence. It wasn't awkward, fortunately. It was comfortable atmosphere. No need to exchange words. Albedo seem to like that. Perhaps Jean did a good thing to sent someone out. It felt nice to have company over for once.

[bellwitchfaggot]

Researching stuff on how to go full keto* and all the resources are like . Dedicated to it as a diet for weight loss and they're all so like. Orthorexic in nature. Qnd its making me wanna DIE like im not trying to LOSE WEIGHT im not trying to have an EATING DISORDER AGAIN my body just doesn't process carbs correctly because I have multiple autoimmune disorders and eating anything carb heavy immediately makes me feel like I'm dying!!!! Like get the fuck out of here with your vague ass "cutting out carbs can have health benefits" like if your body specifically does not have problems processing carbs then there's NOTHING WRONG WITH EATIMF YHEM AAAAA IM SO MAD BRO I JUSF WANNA KNOW HOW TO IMPLEMENT DIETARY CHANGES WITHOIT ALL THE WEIRD DIET CULTURE STUFF ATTACHED

*i dont recommend a keto diet for anyone except people who have the specific health problems that makes their bodies intolerant to refined carbs/starches/sugars, like I do. I just wanna say that cuz im very anti diet and anti weight loss generally and I would not be doing this if it wasn't genuinely necessary to treat my autoimmune problems (also like. Backed by science and statements made by many other people with pcos). I just . Wanna say that cuz I will probably be posting about this more and I wanna make it clear I think diets are absolute bullshit 90% of the time

[tokyoghoose]

am i more than you bargained for?

pairing: tetsuro kuroo x reader

playlist: heather - conan gray*, 4ever - clairo, line without a hook - ricky montgomery, melting - kali uchis, slow dancing in the dark - joji, using you - mars argo, she - ed sheeran, make you feel my love - adele, letter home - childish gambino, she's casual - the hunna, i love you so - the walters, notice me (acoustic) - role model, red dress - postcard boy

warnings: angst and lots of it, mentions of sex, mentions self-shaming of image, very breif mention of anxiety attacks

summary: a romantic comedy without the comedy between friends with benefits

announcements!

kuroo is definitely a little ooc in this lmao buuuut this is my first like fic fic in like two years. Im still trying to get back in the groove of things and finding how to write personality again and not be repetitive with my wording. Feedback is welcome!

requests are open! feel free to send them in! i will write for pretty much any anime ive seen and if i haven't seen it, ill watch it! the only reasons i wouldn't is if im uncomfortable or can't write the character. :)

——————

When did relationships become so difficult? The days of making friends on the playground were over and it seemed to hit everyone at the same age. Life was getting harder and people were getting older, and suddenly everything was difficult. Nothing came easy anymore and everyone had to adjust to that.

But now you were just confused.

Tetsuro kuroo stuck to you like glue since middle school. Where one of you went the other was likely to follow. The righthand man, the double trouble duo, and the bane of kenma's existence. And then things got complicated. Strangers to friends to best friends to lovers— friends with benefits. Who would've thought the boy that you played volleyball with on a whim would've become the man who you grew fond of. Sixth grade you would've kicked yourself for the feelings you're experiencing. Oh how you wished you were back in the park that started it all. You wished you could warn your youngerself what's to come.

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks and it made you want to throw up at the thought.

It started in the first year of highschool when you suddenly noticed the shine in his eyes when he talked passionately about something like volleyball or the way he would furrow his brows when concentrated on his assignments. At first it was endearing, really. But the more you hung around him, the stronger the butterflies felt. It was obvious that he had grown into his lanky body. His legs were proportionate to his torso now and his once scrawny arms didn't hang limply at his sides anymore. He had muscle and height now. Gradually you started to notice little things about him that you would never have seen in other people. Like his lopsidded smile that crinkled the corner of his eyes and brought heat to your cheeks, your stomach launching into your chest when he'd bump shoulders and laugh.

You should've just smacked yourself silly then and there when you started to wonder if he noticed little things about you. Does he think of me like i think of him?

Who knew feelings could be so...perplexing. You moved on, shrugging off the crush in your second year to catch bigger and better fish in the sea. Life moved on and you dated other people, simply remaining friends with kuroo. Little did you know one heartbreak would lead you into his bed, playing in the sheets by the end of the year.

He was just so damn compelling. His laughter and his jokes. You fell for it all over again. Deja vu. Stupid kuroo.

———

The third of highschool had been the breaking point. It was a constant cycle of feeling, fucking, and falling in and out of love with the raven haired boy. It was frustrating, especially when he was so damn oblivious. The only person that seemed to catch on was kenma, but he was very little help when it came to pushing away the domestic thoughts. It would never just work out because you wanted it to because tetsuro was dumb.

It's a chilly day out, the sun nice against your skin but the wind was drastic in comparison. Shivers are sent up and down your spine, you wrap your arms around yourself in a hug. Could this boy take any longer? Foot tapping against the pavement, you heave a sigh, nostils flaring impatiently before you spot the tall athlete. With a girl. A girl?

You'd seen her around before and you vaguely remember thinking she resembled the main love interest in a 90s movie or a bratz doll. She's pretty and has a light, airy laugh. Kuroo must've told her a joke of some kind, but he definitely wasn't funny enough for her to have her hands all over his chest. He's giving her a toothy grin and soft eyes. It makes you want to gag.

Who was she anyway?

Not that it mattered because in that moment the fit of rage your body suddenly flug itself into prevented you from hearing anything. Kuroo's pulling off his pullover and drapping it over the pretty girl's shoulders. You can feel your eye twitch and fibgers tingle. He looks bashful as he waves her goodbye and tragically, you don't feel nearly as pretty as you had been feeling. Now all you wanted to do was sink into the ground below you and possibly into another dimension—or at least the other side of the world.

"She's pretty," is the first thing that comes out of your mouth when he comes over, slouching with his hands in the pockets of his shorts. He had practice this afternoon, you remember. He looks over at you with raised brows, almost like he's surprised yoy said anything or even noticed he was talking to another girl before walking towards the gym with you trailing close behind.

"Yeah she is, I guess."

She's prettier than me.

"You guess? Kuroo, you gave her your sweater."

He shrugs sheepishly, a light pink dusting his cheeks and it makes you mad of uncharacteristic the act is. You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"It's just polyester. It's not a big deal."

The conversation suddenly drops as you pause, apparently very hurt that he didn't remember it was you who gave him the sweater in the first place. He turns around, a questioning look on his face.

"What? Are you jealous?" He teases.

You're fuming at his attempt to be playful. Maybe you were overreacting, but it pangs your chest to know he can brush it off so easily.

" Kuroo, that was my sweater. "

It's gritted through your teeth, eyes slotted into a glare and his face drops. Oh is all he can think as he stares at you and the hurt expression that quickly turns into that of annoyance and anger. You push past him, ultimately deciding not to walk him to the gym. His arm reaches out to catch you, but it falls short as he calls out in a whine, "I'll get it back for you, okay? Come on, y/n!"

———

You can't focus on the assignments in front of you no matter how hard you try. You are exsausted. Just wanting to crawl under the covers and sleep for maybe a thousand years, you stop tapping your oen against the paper to hyperfocus on the black dots that now littered the page. The music in the background pauses before coming back to life with the hum of a new song shuffling in. It's quiet and yet, it's overwhelming. You wish you weren't home alone now.

Hanging your head low on your desk, the carpet becoming of interest, you groan. The image of kuroo and that girl replaying in your head over and over like an endless movie. You'd have to give it a bad review if it ever ended.

You're focus is mainly on her though. Kuroo could get any girl he wants with his witt and charm. Not to mention he wasn't jusf handsome, but he's beautiful. Model material—movie character love interest type beat. He has the ability to make any heart swoon if he tries hadd enough, and that girl was no exception. She was more than pretty. She was stunning, even. It was like watching human barbie and ken flirt with one another. She seems so nice too and you can vaguely remember her helping you wish a couple answers on homework one morning. She's better than you and better for him. Is he sleeping with her too? Before you can answer your own question the doorbell rings, quickly followed by a knock at your door.

You look down at your pajamas, debating if you should pull on your robe or not, but ultimately deciding against it when the knocks come again.

"Im coming, I'm coming. What do you wan- kuroo?"

When you open the door, you immediately get the urge to shut it right in his perfect little face, and you begin to before his hand slams against it in protest to push it open wider. He juts out his lip into a pout and his eyes soften into ones pleading like a puppy dog. You huff and avoid eye contact, instead taking intrest in the bad he was carrying.

"What's that?"

"Stuff. I'd be happy to show you if you let me in."

"Sorry, tetsuro, no can do. You haven't returned my sweater. "

He scoffs and rolls his eyes before shoving something bulky into your arms. You're not sure if you should be happy he actually got it back or upset that he had to see her again to get it. Finally looking up at him, you move to the side so he can step in.

"You know, you don't have to be jealous that i gave another girl a sweater. You're my number one, y/n." He's teasing, but his words still send the butterflies in your stomach crazy. You can only hope he means it, even if just a little.

"I'm not jealous. You can sleep with whoever you want, kuroo. We're just best friends—if anything im your wingman. "

You want to hit yourself on the head. Why would you say that?

He snickers at the rebuttle, coming to loom over you. Apparently the only thing that can get you out of your head is his cologne because it somehow invaded your senses. He smells expensive, like nice leather and fire wood during the winter. It's very manly, you note. His shadow hovers over yours as he traps you between him and the counter with a playful smirk on his face. How smug could he get. He leans down, bringing your chin up between his thumb and finger. You hadn't realized how close he was until now. Since when did you get so nervous around him? Why did it make you nervous when he kissed you all of a sudden? It's unfair that he holds the advantage. Heat rises to your cheeks and the tips of your ears and you're positive he can hear the beating of your heart, which was currently trying to break out of your chest.

His lips take you to paradise, as always. Their soft against your own, yet firm. They're slightly chapped and they taste like spearmint. It makes your head fuzzy because they feel so right, even when you wish they felt wrong. You want to pull away and kick him out, and end thjs whole arrangement, but you're already very familiar with the fact it's just beginning.

———

The bed is warm. So warm, in fact, it feels like your suffocating. The sheets tangle around your limbs, strangling you as you tangle your limbs around kuroos. You almost want to cry, and if you were anywhere else— with anyone else —you probably would have. The heat is unbearable and the one sided tension makes your stomach churn and your throat tighten up. You were almost positve an anxiety attack was coming on.

Taking a deep breath through your nose, you close your eyes as kuroo's nimble fingers soothe circles into your shoulder blade idly and yet somehow he manages to dodge the purple and red splotches blooming on the flesh. Suddenly you wish you didn't feel so safe and protected in his embrace. The moment almost tempts you to whisper sweet nothings into his ear, but you don't deserve to be the person who does that because you aren't his person. Best friend, maybe (next to Kenma, if anything) but, you aren't his person no matter how you long to be. You're just a friend in his bed having a good time. It isn't as fun anymore.

You swallow a lump in your throat, flattening your hand against his broad chest and willing yourself to lift up out of his grasp, his fingers falling smoothly to stop between your shoulder blades. Looking down at him, he presents you with the soft, goofy look on his face that he always adorns. God, there's nothing you wouldn't give to wake up beside him every morning and kiss that lopsided grin off his face. It hurts to think about, and another wave of tears try to force their way past your lash line. You blink them away and put on a soft, one-sided smile for the man below you, giving him a quick peck where his jaw and neck meet before shrugging his hands off and climbing out of bed.

His eyes track you, lazily hooded and watching, as you take the sheet with you to cover yourself, grabbing your shorts and whatever top you were wearing but a few hours ago before everything was strewn about. You shy away from his gaze, but it's nothing he hasn't seen before. He shifts in the bed to face your back, elbow propped up to lay his head in his hand. With an uncharacteristically soft tone, you almosf don't head him when he speaks. The words that come from him are like honey, yet raw. It's enough to make anyones knees buckle and crawl back into bed.

"Are you okay?"

There's a slight hint of concern there, just hardlg scrapping the surface of the question. You nod with a hum, throwing on the loose shirt before facing him. Kuroo's brow raises like he doesn't quite believe you, but he doesn't take the question further and instead turns to get out of bed. You gnaw at your lip, taking your turn to watch him stretch out. His back has red streaks messily placed down it from his shoulders to the base, his biceps matching. His hair is messy and not like the normal bed head he sports, parts of it are spiked up from fingers constantly pushing through it, while other parts are laid flat from sweat. You can't help the thought that he's sculpted by the gods. They definitely took their time on him. Scoffing at yourself and shaking the thoughts free from your head, you head to the bathroom. As if the bed wasn't suffocating enough, just being the same room was found to be worse when he looks like that. At this point, it was preferred he stayed under the covers.

You feel stupid while looking in the mirror. Your mascara from earlier had smudged beneath your waterline, clumping together in the corner. Your nose curls at the sight, hands splashing cool water at your face, rubbing at your eyes. With a sigh you lean your elbows on the sink, pushing back hair and looking down at the water going into the drain.

This is ridiculous.

How on earth could you do this to yourself and to kuroo?

There's a knock on the bathroom door, it's light and gentle in the typical kuroo fashion because he doesn't want to spook you. You purse your lips, digging the palms of your hands into your eyes and heaving a sigh. As soon as you open the door and switch places, you're up and out of his apartment without saying goodbye.

The cool air of outside hits your face and you hadn't noticed the tears until the damp chill shook you. Brushing them away, you head home. You didn't want to be around him and you certainly didn't want to think about him. On the way back, you finally decided you weren't going to tell him anything. What would dumb tetsuro know about it anyway.

[mickadamz]

deanstar ik this is a really personal ask and you don't have to answer if this makes you uncomfortable but how did you know you were trans? I'm questioning my gender identity and idk if i'm overthinking things or not

i can tell youre from the confessions blog... on a real note doe. uhhh i dont actually know for sure? i think i found compilations of lgbt vines or something and i joined tmblr arpund maybe. late middle school (7th-8th grade) it got me thinking abt gender and stuff.

initially i thiught i was genderfluid, i tried different pronouns and stuff. at first i did hop on as a trend bc i was young and didn't want to be an 'evil cishet' (nothing wrong w being cishet!) but anyways i eventually discovered that i was trans and later figured out i was a binary trans guy.

there's a lot of overthinking, ive had plenty of 'what if im faking' moments. These feelins amplify during puberty as well because i had many thoughts that were like 'oh what if its just a hormonal imbalance and im faking it for attention' and it sucked but after like. maybe 5 or 6 years im pretty confident that i'm a trans guy.

its your journey and being trans is different for everybody so i cant tell you what exactly you will feel, but i can give some advice: try different pronouns (if youre not already), try different names if you want, think long term (would you be most comfortable being an old woman, an old man, or an old enby? how do you see yourself when you think of the future?), mess with gender presentation, etc.

maybe watch videos by trans people. get various perspectives. watch tiktok compilations. dig through some tags, see if things click. see if you feel thst 'oh, i do that too' thing.

it's tough at times and there's nothing wrong with realizing that a certain label/identity didn't fit like you thought it would. sometimes it takes a while to find yourself. but when you do, it's like the weight of the world is jusf lifted off your shoulders. it'll stll be tough, ther's obstacles (like whether or not you're able to transition. various things can prevent one from medically/surgically transitioning such as pre-existing medical conditions, money, or personal choice) but at least you know who you are and who you're gonna be.

i hope this makes sense and i wish you luck, anon!!

[how-gross]

6 - 3 - 20

So I talked to my mother about Undertale today while I was with her at her job.

She seemed pretty interested, but I know she’ll loose her interest soon once I tell her about the Alphyne ship and the ship between Guard 02 and 01.

She doesn’t admit it, but I know she’s homophobic. Every time I bring up anything that has anything slightly related to a romantic relationship between the same gender, she goes awol. Talking about how God made us to birth and reproduce and populate the Earth.

At this point, I don’t even know if I’m gonna come out to her. I’ve already said once that I’m asexual, and that was from an argument about the crush I had on my female/male friend (he/she are genderfluid). She must have forgotten about it, because when I tried sending a picture to the same friend - we’re still friends it’s just a little bit awkward, plus I still have a crush on her - she asked what the flags were about. My friend had a Bisexual Flag and a Genderfluid pin, but gladly my mom couldn’t see the pin otherwise she would be questioning things and a whole new string of problems would come to light. I had an asexual flag (I’m still questioning my sexuality, but my approach on sex is not sex-repulsed but not too comfortable with having sex either) and a pin that meant Non-binary. She thankfully didn’t see my flag either.

She started asking more and more questions about what asexuality was and why would I think I’m asexual when YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME THAT WHEN I SAID WAS NOT A FAN OF SEX YOU SAID I COULD BE ASEXUAL YOU LITERALLY OFFERED TO ME THAT I CAN BE ASEXUAL AND I ACCEPTED AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA ACT LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ASEXUALITY IS?! IF YOU DIDNT KNOW YOU WOULDNT HAVE OFFERED IT TO ME?! WAS IT JUSF ANOTHER LIE TO GET ME NOT TO LIKE THE SAME GENDER?! JUST LIKE THE LAST TIME WHERE TOU SAID THAT YOU SUPPORT THE LGBT COMMUNITY AND YOU ALLOWED ME TO SUPPORT TI TO- BUT THEN JUST YELL AT ME AGAIN WHEN I SAVE AND POST POSITIVE LGBT STUFF! YOU’RE JUST A BIG LIAR AT THIS POINT!! NOTHING YOU SAY IS TRUE!! AND YOU SAY YOU CAN TTRUST ME!

Then she starts again with new bullshit like “You’ve never had sex before, you don’t know what’s like”, or “soon you’ll have a boyfriend in either high school or college. He’ll want to take things to the next level if you were to get married. Are you just not gonna have a relationship?” LIKE BITCH THAT’S AROMANTIC NOT ASEXUAL AND ASEXUALS COULD HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT IT INVOLVING SEX SEX DOES NTO HAVE TO BE A CURRENT THEME IN A RELATIONSHIP WHEN I ADMITTED MY FEELINFS TO MY FRIEND AND ADMITTED I WAS ACE SHE DIDN TJUDGE ME AF ALL SHE JUST SAID THAT IT WAS FINE I WAS ACE AND THAT SHE STILL LIKED ME NTO EVERYTHING IS ABOUT SEX NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT REPRODUCTION SHUT UP!!

I’m not sex-repulsed - I just get uncomfortable during sex scenes in a movie - but now she’s making me so upset about this whole thing. She lies about everything and judges me for everything and then starts asking me why I can’t have normal conversations with her. Oh, did I mention That? We had another argument

It was about her asking me a lot of questions about high school and shit and how many friends I’m gonna make and how my relationship with my friends are right now. I was about to get my hair washed and didn’t feel like being bothered, and even if I was comfortable I still don’t talk that much so even if I was a in a good mood I would have answered with short question. Plus the questions themselves were too personal for my liking and I didn’t feel too comfortable with answering them right then and theee, probably when my hair was washed and I could lay down without soaking the sheets with my wet hair.

Then SHE STARTS SAYING STUFF LIKE “why do you always answer me like that?” AND “why can’t you just answer normally” AND “you weren’t like this before. What happened? You used to be so social and talk to me about everything.” THAT’S THE MOTHERFUCKINF REASON CAUSE YOU QUESITONNLITERLALY EVERYTHING!! IF I DONT ANSWER A QUESFION CORRECTLY OR IF I DONT ANSWER IT THE WAY YOUD LIKE YOULL ASK ME STUFF LIKE “why’d you answer it like that” AND “why’d you answer it so weirdly” IF YOU AANT A REASON TO WHY I DONT TALK TO YOU THAT WHY YOU DONT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY YOU QUESTION EVERYTHING I DO AND YOU JXUGE LITERALLY EVERY FUCKING THING EVEN THOUGH LIE ABOUT NOT JUDGING ME.

THEN SHE STARTS PRESSURING ME ASKING ME “why are you not gonna talk to anyone?” AND “you’re not gonna have any friends if you don’t speak up. Stop talking so low.” AND “so you’re just gonna keep two friends?” LIKE BITCH IF I DONT WANT TO TLSK IN SCHOOL TO OTHERS I DONT HAVE TO FUCKIGN TALK BESIDES THE LAST TIME I TALKED OUT LOUD TO ANYONE I WAS MOCKED AT AND CALLED WEIRD AND NEEDY AND ANNOYING AND SHIT. I WAS LITERALLY BULLIED FOR BEING TOO LOUD, THATS WHY I BECAME QUIET. II DONT HAVE TO TALK IF I DONT WANT TO ITS MY MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH.

BESIDES ITS OKYA TO HAVE TWO FRIENDS YOU ACT LIKE I HAVE TO HAVE A WHOLE GROUP OF FRIENDS ADOUND ME AND BE POPULAR AND SHIT WHEN LITERALLY PEOPLE WHO BECOME POPUALR GET TOO INTO IT AND START PEER PRESSURING OFHERS

then she starts lying about “I just don’t want you to fall into the wrong path” like being asexual is wrong and that being apart of the lgbt community is wrong. “I don’t want you to follow others just because you think it’s alright”. Nothing is wrong about the LGBT community and asexuals. Anyone could be who they are. Plus you don’t have to have sex all the time to be in a committed relationship. “You probably thought you were gay (first of all I said I was Bi, not gay. I like both girls and boys.) because your friend was nice to you.” So basically you just called me naive. I mean I admit i am stupid sometimes, but I’ve haven’t fallen in love with someone because they were nice to me. I fell in love with a boy one time because I thought he was cool, and he didn’t even talk to me once. He basically used me and asked me to do all his work for him, and I didn it because I wanted him to like me but turns out he was a jerk and an asshat.

My other friends are nice to me, and I have best friends that are really nice to me, but I haven’t fallen in love with them. So how does that make sense? How does one of my friends with me having a crush on them equal up to them being nice to me and me naively falling for it? Doesn’t add up.

I didn’t argue with her anymore. I didn’t even talk. I just nodded my head to everything until she started saying “stop nodding and talk to me. I don’t even know if you’re listening to what I have to say.”. Oh and the whole talking thing? She gets upset with that too. If I don’t answer Her in a certain way, or if I’m just nodding, or if I’m just staring off into space she thinks what she says is going through one ear and out the others.

I admit the me looking into space thing might come off as not listening, but the other stuff like nodding and and answering a certain way doesn’t make sense. Me answering in a certain way is me giving my opinion. If you don’t agree with that than I can’t share my thoughts with you. That’s why it’s so hard to talk about my thoughts because I think you won’t agree with what to have to say and that it’s better if I just shut up.

And me nodding could come off as not listening - If I wasn’t looking into your eyes. When I look into your eyes, I know what you’re talking about, I’m listening to you. You have my attention.

But that’s all. I have no energy left in me to rant anymore. This is all just mindless thoughts that have been stuck in my mind for a while and I had to let it out.

[enhypemen]

Study date ~ Lee Minho/Know smut

request: for anon

description: you were helping Minho study for his finale, but your school skirt is too much of a distraction.

warnings: fucking while a parent's home, smut (duh), choking (f receiving) "kitten" reader SHORT ASF

pairing: minho x (fem) reader

"shhh, we wouldn't want your mom to come up and find her precious angel with my cock stuffed inside her, now would we, kitten?" minho whispers into your ear.

you tried to be as quiet as you possibly could, but the way minho filled you to the brim was too much. The head of his dick pressed against the spot, that laid deep inside you, making your back arch off the matress.

It was a simple study date. That's what it was suppose to be, jusf you helping Minho study for his finale, it was going well until your school skirt had shifted up your thigh leaving enough imagination for minho's blood to rush south.

Another choked moan leaves your mouth, the sound blocked from echoing in the room due to the hand wrapped firmly around your throat. Minho chuckles pushing your legs into your chest groaning at the tightness caused by the new position.

"Your pussy takes me so well, kitten" he groans.

"Don't stop, please" you beg as you begin to tighten around him.

Minho's head is thrown back, his thrust becoming sloppy as his dick twitched inside you.

"Cum inside me, please" you whimper to him as his head falls into your shoulder.

He groans out a "fuck" before spilling his seed into you, triggering your own orgasm. He fucks into you slowly riding out both of your highs before flopping on his stomach next to you.

"aye, don't fall asleep. You need to finish studying" you say poking his cheek.

He does nothing but push your finger away from him and pull you into him with a deep sigh.

"Go the fuck to sleep, y/n"

[ddaddsprompts]

Sharp teeth. So much red; red eyes, red teeth, red blood. He’s screaming, but there’s no one there to hear him. He’s trashing, struggling, but the beast is stronger and he’s getting weaker, he’s bleeding to death, he—

The wolf tosses him aside like he weighs nothing. Like a rag doll, he slumps in on himself, unable to move. The wolf regards him calmly and with each step, the ringing in his ears gets louder, even though he can’t hear anything but his own heartbeat. Then, something pierces through the veil. A cry. No, a wail. It comes from somewhere next to him. He manages to turn his head. Something small, the wolf is heading right towards it, picks it up between its teeth, the bundle is crying, it’s—River—no— He surges forward but it’s too late, it’s snapping—

He’s running. The wind brushes through his fur like a caress and carries to him a scent that makes his mouth water, drool dropping from his teeth and onto the forest floor. He’s getting closer, he can hear its crying, his target is near. He breaks through the bushes, doesn’t care about the twigs and leaves that get caught in his fur, he only cares about the hunger that’s threatening to consume him from within. Everything is a blur. He looks into brown, large eyes as he lungs and under his paws, he crushes an animal-shaped thing without a heartbeat—

Craig woke up to screaming and only realised after a few seconds that it was him. He tore the covers off his body and ran to River’s nursery, throwing the door open with such force, it hit the wall with a loud thud. River started crying, but he couldn’t feel guilty about having woken her up, not when her complaining meant she was alive, he hadn’t… He picked her up and pressed her close to his chest. Something wet ran down his cheeks; he was crying, River was wailing, he’d never been so thankful that Briar and Hazel weren’t home before.

“Sssh,” Craig whispered. “Everything’s okay, Daddy is sorry, sweetpea, I just…” I had to make sure it was only a dream and it—I didn’t kill you.

It took him ten minutes to calm River down and get her into bed again. All the crying made her tired, so she was out like a stone the moment he put Arnold into her arms. He didn’t know for how long he stood there, just watching her sleep, but he couldn’t tear himself away from the sight of her chest rising and sinking with every breath she took.

Still alive.

To think what could have happened, had he taken her on his jog—

Craig shook his head so hard, the wound on his neck began to burn and throb. He cursed under his breath and left River’s room. There was no way he would be able to sleep after what happened. He resigned himself to a long day tomorrow and sat down on his bed. Automatically, he reached for his phone and selected his chat with Robert. He stared at the screen for who knew how long, contemplating whether he should tell Robert of his dreams. The other man was probably already asleep and if he didn’t care about Craig’s struggle changing River’s diaper, he probably wouldn’t care about his nightmares. But there was no one else he could talk to, no one he could share it with. Maybe he should bury it deep inside his brain, like he did with all his other worries, but the horror was still so real, the fear so strong, the moment he tried to put the phone away, panic shot through him and his throat closed up. Craig gasped and closed his eyes. He counted to a random number until he could no longer not do it - He typed out a message without looking or caring for the typos.

<I jusf had a nifhtmaee abd I need to talk avout it or I might lose it>

Then he turned on his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. He didn’t expect an answer, so when one came after a minute, at most, he startled and nearly fell off the bed trying to get his phone.

From Robert: <r u drunk>

<i was on the verge of a panic attack, bro, i had better things to do than watch my spelling>

From Robert: <fair enough>

From Robert: <well I am>

From Robert: <drunk, I mean>

From Robert: <but not a lot>

From Robert: <anyway>

From Robert: <what’d you dream about>

<what happened. Only that>

He hesitated. Just thinking about how he would put the dream into words made him feel sick. His hands were shaking; he had to cling to his phone not to drop it.

From Robert: <only that?>

Craig took a deep breath.

<River was there. And it and then I suddenly was running and iw as so hungry and there was someone in the forest with me I attacked them it was>

From Robert: <it was river>

Minutes passed. Craig didn’t know what to say, he just stared at the screen. Suddenly, a new message popped up.

From Robert: <kid I>

From Robert: <I’m not good with emotional shit>

From Robert: <want to come over and get drunk?>

From Robert: <always helps me>

<I can’t I can’t leave her alone>

From Robert: <okay>

From Robert: <want me to come over>

<why are you even awake>

From Robert: <I’m nocturnal>

From Robert: <it’s not a werewolf thing>

From Robert: <I’m just a night person>

<that’s not healthy bro>

From Robert: <I’m not talking about health with you, you health nut>

From Robert: <do you want me to come over or not>

<you don’t have to do that bro>

From Robert: <I know>

Craig thought about it. But then he shook his head. The thought of interacting with another person made his skin crawl.

<I’ll spend the night watching river sleep. It should be fine>

Robert’s reply came three seconds later.

From Robert: <if you’re sure>

Craig didn’t reply. He got up, took his phone and a blanket, and walked back into River’s room. She was still asleep, like he had left her, and didn’t even stir as her father sat down next to the crib and settled comfortably.

He didn’t leave her until he heard Smashley’s car pull up in front of the house.

-----------------

Somehow, texting Robert became a regular thing after that.

-----------------

<Do I need a rabies shot. Do my kids need a rabies shot. Do I need to worry about rabies>

From Robert: <youre a werewolf not a dog, kid>

-----------------

<why can I no longer stand the smell of lemons>

From Robert: <it’s the citrus>

From Robert: <try holding a pepper under your nose>

From Robert: <or mothballs>

From Robert: <remember how I said your nose’s more sensitive now?>

From Robert: <rule of thumb: if a dog can’t stand it, neither can you>

<I thought I’m not a dog?>

From Robert: <smartass>

From Robert: <see if I help u again>

-----------------

From Robert: <how’s the wound healing>

<okay, I guess? I’ve never had an injury so big and deep>

<how long did yours take to heal?>

From Robert: <weeks>

From Robert: <does it itch>

<like crazy>

From Robert: <means it’s healing>

From Robert: <suck it up>

From Robert: <soon you’ll have a cool scar>

From Robert: <you can say u survived a bear attack>

From Robert: <you wrestled with a bear and won>

<me claiming to have been bitten by a werewolf is probably more believable than me having fought a bear>

<have you ever seen a bear stand on its hind legs? They’re huge>

From Robert: <true>

From Robert: <but you’re ripped>

<thanks dude>

-----------------

<saw you leave papa’s this morning>

From Robert: <and>

<at six am dude. Could have joined me on my morning run instead of heading straight home>

From Robert: <I can name a hundred things I’d rather do>

From Robert: <scratch that>

From Robert: <a thousand>

From Robert: <and spending a day with joseph and no alcohol is far above voluntarily exercising>

<ouch. no need to get out the big guns, bro>

-----------------

<is damien really a vampire?>

From Robert: <what the hell brought that up>

<I’m just curious>

From Robert: <even over the phone you’re a shitty liar>

From Robert: <spill>

From Robert: <or I’m digging through the trash, taking every used diaper I can find and throwing them in your bedroom>

<you wouldn’t>

From Robert: <yes I would>

From Robert: <it’s like you don’t even know me kid>

From Robert: <not only would I do that, but I’d install cameras to get your reaction>

<fine. I’m googling about werewolves and the like and there’s a website that says the same things as you did and has some info on vampires. I got curious>

From Robert: <no you’re not>

From Robert: <you really are aren’t you>

From Robert: <fucking hell>

From Robert: <you can’t just google shit and expect it to be the truth>

<it looks pretty solid to me>

From Robert: <because you don’t know shit>

<is damien a vampire or not>

From Robert: <no>

From Robert: <he loves garlic>

From Robert: <the freak>

From Robert: <wears silver too>

From Robert: <sunlight’s a dead giveaway>

From Robert: <we’re the only two monsters in maple bay pup>

From Robert: <except joseph>

From Robert: <but joseph is human>

From Robert: <he’s just a dick>

-----------------

<holy shit I can see in the dark>

From Robert: <you only noticed that now?>

From Robert: <don’t you always leave before the sun goes up>

<not when it’s so fucking cold outside dude>

From Robert: <also what did you expect>

From Robert: <werewolf>

From Robert: <wolf>

<wolves are crepuscular though>

From Robert: <well>

From Robert: <shit>

From Robert: <I’m surprised and impressed>

<Hazel is in her wolf phase, ironically>

-----------------

<your dog broke out of the house. I caught her and took her to my place>

From Robert: <she did what>

From Robert: <how>

From Robert: <I locked everything>

<don’t know, man. I just saw her chasing after a squirrel and running around on the road. Didn’t want her to get hit. Can you come pick her up?>

From Robert: <I’m away>

From Robert: <on business>

From Robert: <shit, just give her to Damien>

<Damien’s kid is allergic to dogs though>

From Robert: <fuck>

<What brand food does she get?>

From Robert: <what>

From Robert: <it’s Just Jacky>

From Robert: <why>

<I’m keeping her at mine until you’re back in town. Not a big deal, the girls always wanted a pet, that’ll give them a taste.>

From Robert: <you don’t have to do that>

From Robert: <aren’t you busy enough already>

<Don’t mention it, man. I’m glad to help.>

-----------------

From Robert: <thank you>

-----------------

<Betsy and River are best friends already! Look:>

<https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_h0AdOEErz0/maxresdefault.jpg >

From Robert: <the fuck is she wearing>

<a doggie vest. Brian and I went to the pet store and they had those. I couldn’t resist>

<if you want me to, I’ll take it off>

<robert?>

From Robert: <keep it on>

-----------------

Three days later, someone knocked on his front door. Craig rose to his feet and left the girls to play with Betsy, going to the door and opening it. He was surprised to see Robert standing there, rocking back and forth on his feet as if he was nervous. There were dark circles under his eyes, but he looked a lot better than last time Craig saw him in person, leaving a bar early in the morning.

“Hey man,” he greeted and stepped aside to let Robert in. “Here to pick up Betsy?”

Robert nodded curtly and entered. Immediately, Betsy rolled to her feet and barked excitedly. She ran over to her owner and jumped up his legs until Robert took her into his arms. From where he was standing right next to him, Craig could see the tension leave Robert’s body. Smell it, too, he realised now that the subtle note of worry was gone.

Robert turned to Craig and though he didn’t say anything, Craig could read the gratitude in his eyes. Smiling, he clasped Robert’s shoulder and shook his head, no need to thank me, man.

Briar and Hazel were keeping their distance, shuffling on their feet as if they wanted to say something but didn’t know if they should or could, while River continued playing with Arnold, who had a few teeth marks thanks to Betsy roughhousing with him. River didn’t seem to mind at all, nor did she seem bothered by the drool. Craig raised his eyebrow at his twins; they lasted half a minute before cracking. “Can we say goodbye to Betsy, Mister Small?”

The surprise crossing Robert’s face was gone as quickly as it had come. He set Betsy down and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He watched the girls sternly as they gave Betsy a few belly rubs and ear scratches, expression as serious and broody as always, but with a softness to it that Craig thought suited him well. After the twins were done with her, Betsy trotted back over to River and nudged her with her snout. The baby gurgled and wrapped her arms around the dog, who had surprising patience even though half of River’s pats landed on her eyes instead of her head.

“She’s got the patience of a saint.”

Robert huffed. “She’s a trained hunting dog. Patience was the first thing I taught her.” Suddenly, he looked down at his feet. Craig had never seen him so unsure and didn’t even think before he squeezed Robert’s shoulder again. The other man startled, but didn’t push the hand off. He cleared his throat to get the girls’ attention. “If you… if you want you can… look after her next time I’m gone.”

“Really?” Craig asked, but his question was drowned out by the twins’ cries of yes. Even River waved her arms about excitedly and gurgled.

“Thank you, Mister Small!”

Robert acknowledged them with a short nod and a small smile Craig was certain he didn’t even notice himself. He picked Betsy up again and stood there awkwardly. Craig wet his lips. “Hey, girls, could you feed River real quick? Mister Small and I have adult business to talk about.” He waited until the three were gone before turning back to Robert. “You didn’t have to offer that just because it made them happy.” Robert stared at him without blinking, which made Craig want to bear his throat at the same time as he wanted to stare back and see who caved first. “I mean…”

“I get it, kid.” Robert lowered his gaze. “I wanted to. How much do I owe you?”

“Huh?”

Robert rolled his eyes. “For the food and all.”

Craig blinked, then shook his head. “Nothing, bro. I’ll just keep it until your next trip.” Robert was staring at him again. “Really, you owe me nothing.”

Robert’s frown caused something inside of Craig to ache painfully. He looked so disbelieving and surprised, a little suspicious too. “Okay,” Robert eventually said. “Well. I better get going. See ya, kid.”

Craig watched him leave, absently rubbing his chest where his heart was.

-----------------

<I need your opinion on something>

From Robert: <shoot first ask questions later>

<what>

From Robert: <just remember that>

From Robert: <what is it>

<I found these cute onesies online but I can’t decide which one to pick>

From Robert: <…>

From Robert: <are u serious?>

From Robert: <why are you asking me that>

From Robert: <go ask sammie boy>

<can’t he’s out>

From Robert: <u woke me up just to pick out a onesie?>

<it’s four in the afternoon bro>

From Robert: <middle of the night for me>

From Robert: <I’m gonna wake u up at 3am see how you like it>

<sorry bro but one of them says I’m being raised by wolves!!>

<robert?>

<robert>

-----------------

From Robert: <u still looking for onesies>

<shit, man, where you been? you were offline for ten days or so>

From Robert: < http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/little-wolf-infant-toddler-costume-bc-801444b.jpg?zm=1600,1600,1,0,0 >

-----------------

From Robert: <I just pissed on joseph’s house>

From Robert: <I just pissed on joseph’s house>

From Robert: <didn’t mean to send it twice>

From Robert: <I just pissed on joseph’s house>

From Robert: <third time was on purpose>

From Robert: <don’t do this at home kids>

From Robert: <or someone else’s>

From Robert: <unless they’re a dick>

<how drunk were you last night>

From Robert: <I wasn’t>

<dude did you read through what you sent me. You totally were drunk>

From Robert: < https://media1.tenor.com/images/bbcf50e44a3cdca2c660bfb5a9ea4bc9/tenor.gif?itemid=7516900 >

<what is this from>

From Robert: <I don’t know>

   <why did you send it to me?>

From Robert: <it’s a meme>

<a what>

From Robert: <oh my god>

-----------------

<I think brian’s dog doesn’t like me anymore. He barked at me and hunted me down to my house>

From Robert: <should have barked back>

<Robert! Where you been all day, dude?>

From Robert: <hunting a nuckelavee>

<a what now>

From Robert: <a nuckelavee>

From Robert: <it’s a demon>

From Robert: <lives in the water>

From Robert: <has a horse body and on top of that half a human>

From Robert: <the upper half>

From Robert: <pervert>

<never heard of it. you get it?>

From Robert: <they don’t exist, kale>

From Robert: <they aren’t real>

From Robert: <you really need a lesson in cryptozoology>

From Robert: <give me five>

<wait, why?>

From Robert: <i literally just said why>

From Robert: <pay attention craigory>

<but it’s almost midnight>

From Robert: <so?>

From Robert: <don’t tell me it’s past your bedtime already>

<i have to get up early tomorrow>

From Robert: <tomorrow’s saturday>

From Robert: <no>

From Robert: <no>

From Robert: <you’re not going to get up at ass-o’-clock on a saturday morning to go on a run>

<i’m pretty sure I am, bro>

From Robert: <not on my watch>

<I can’t see how you can stop me, dude. Unless you physically lie down on top of me wink face!>

From Robert: <did you just say wink face>

From Robert: <you didn’t>

From Robert: <you totally did>

<um, yeah? why?>

From Robert: <use the damn emoji, kid, what the hell>

From Robert: <who writes out an emoji>

<i don’t know how to use them>

From Robert: <of course you don’t>

From Robert: <im coming over>

-----------------

“So,” Sam says, looking at Craig over the menu of the diner they always went to after their Wednesday run. “You’ve been staring at your phone for quite some time. Is anything wrong? The girls? The softball team? The gym? Work? Smashley? Another one of your many obligations?”

“Nah, bro.” Craig waved dismissively. “I’m just texting Robert.”

Sam’s eyebrow shot up. “Robert? You mean the dark and broody, scruffy neighbour living next to the Christiansens? That Robert? Why?”

“What do you mean, why?” Craig lowered his menu and fixed Sam with a confused look.

“You’re, well…” Sam gesticulates, but Craig only looks at him even more confused. “The two of you are polar opposites. I just didn’t expect you to get along so well.” Me neither. “How did that happen?”

Craig shrugged and rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t know, honestly? After I tripped on my jog and he helped me get home and all we kind of started ‘talking’. His humour is really great, more so during boring business meetings, once you get used to it. I was kind of put off by his hobby at first but now that I know more about it, it’s kind of fascinating.”

Sam hummed. “Well, if anyone can get you to relax, it’s got to be the guy who wakes up at five in the afternoon. Remember how we once slept for twenty hours after finals week?”

“Oh god, don’t remind me.” Craig laughed. “I still don’t know how we survived that much caffeine and sugar.”

-----------------

From Robert: <craig>

From Robert: <craig>

From Robert: <kid>

From Robert: <craigory>

From Robert: <kale>

From Robert: <kale>

From Robert: <pup>

<jesus robert I’m in a meeting what’s wrong? Are you injured? Do you need help?>

From Robert: <look what I found online>

From Robert: < https://img.memecdn.com/arewolf-werewolf-havebeenwolf_o_4163049.jpg >

<really?>

 -----------------

<why weren’t you at the barbecue today?>

From Robert: <I was busy>

From Robert: <why>

From Robert: <you miss me?>

<shut up. Are you coming to the next?>

From Robert: <why should I>

<because I asked you to, bro?>

From Robert: <fine. If you bring me booze>

-----------------

From Robert: <and when I say booze, I don’t mean beer>

From Robert: <if you bring me a beer again>

From Robert: <I’ll burn down your magnolias>

-----------------

<they’re chrysanthemums, bro!>

-----------------

From Robert: <do you really have to jog through the neighbourhood half-naked?>

<I didn’t. I wore a tank-top.>

From Robert: <that flimsy excuse for a shirt doesn’t count>

From Robert: <it barely covered anything>

From Robert: <it certainly didn’t cover the bite>

<were you watching me bro? ;)>

From Robert: <I show him how to use emojis and he uses them against me>

From Robert: <that’s the thanks I get>

From Robert: <life is cruel>

<you’re avoiding the question dude>

<it was eleven am. I thought you never get up before four? Why were you awake anyway?>

<robert?>

<it’s none of my business bro, just ignore my question>

<robert?>

From Robert: <I had reasons>

<good enough for me. So, did you just happen to look out of the window and see me jog by?>

From Robert: <I was watching the neighbourhood>

From Robert: <looking for a cryptid>

<what’s it look like?>

From Robert: <it’s human-sized>

From Robert: <only a little bit smaller than me, if it walks upright>

From Robert: <restless>

From Robert: <incredibly strong>

From Robert: <some say it’s blood is green>

From Robert: <it rarely attacks but when it does, it only goes after healthy ones>

From Robert: <it doesn’t like fat>

From Robert: <cryptids of that species usually always carry its young but this one didn’t>

<is it dangerous?>

<robert?>

From Robert: <I just said it rarely attacks>

<why look for it then, bro? shouldn’t you search for the scary ones, like wendigos?>

From Robert: <hey>

From Robert: <look at that>

From Robert: <kale paid attention during my lessons>

<I wanted to pass the end-of-term exam without having to beg the teacher for extra credit>

From Robert: <damn>

From Robert: <I already had great ideas for shit I could make you do>

From Robert: <you’re a spoilsport>

<sorry, bro>

<shoot, I’ve got to go to work. talk to you later bro!>

-----------------

From Robert: <hey>

From Robert: <hey>

From Robert: <hey craig>

From Robert: <pup>

From Robert: <come outside>

From Robert: <don’t make me honk>

From Robert: <I will honk>

From Robert: <honking in three>

From Robert: <two>

From Robert: <one>

<give me three minutes to get dressed>

From Robert: <if it’s up to me you might as well come out naked>

<I’m not naked>

From Robert: <I know>

Craig looked up from his phone and narrowed his eyes. A bright line came from somewhere outside the house and shone right through the curtain in front of the bedroom window. Craig pulled it aside and Robert waved at him from where he was perched on the hood of his old truck. Blinking against the light, Craig waved back and then pulled the curtain back, even though Robert could apparently see through it anyway.

He reached for the first shirt he could find and pulled on some pants, stumbling through the house as he tried to put on his shoes at the same time as his jacket. His muscles still seemed to remember the many times he had to do that in college, since he made it, more or less unscathed, to the front door. Robert put out his cigarette when he saw Craig and squished it under his shoe. Wordlessly, the older man jumped into his car, so Craig followed suit.

Maybe he should have asked what they were doing, where Robert was driving him, but the silence that fell on them was comfortable. After the stressful last days, packed with work, training, caring for River who caught a cold before Smash picked her and the twins up, and juggling extra hours to make up for the three days he was going to take off for full moon, silence felt heavenly.

Without even realising it, he dozed off and awoke to Robert shaking his shoulder. The hand lingered, even after Craig blinked up at him sleepily, and the warmth that seeped through the fabric of Craig’s jacket and shirt caused some of the tension in his body to melt away. Robert jerked his head and Craig unbuckled his seatbelt, joining the older man out in the cold. Before, it would have been too cold to be outside in the middle of the night, even with a jacket on, but his blood ran warmer now, so he was only shivering lightly as he followed Robert, walking around the car. He had no idea where they were, only saw the trees in front of the truck and assumed they were somewhere near the forest.

Never would he have expected the sight that presented itself to him now. Maple Bay lay below them, an ocean of lights that spread out all the way to the mountains in the distance, which were only vague shapes in the darkness. In the distance, he could see the light tower with its rotating light and above them stood the moon, nearly full, half-hidden behind a few clouds. Craig stepped into the half-circle made by the truck’s taillights and took in the scene in front of him.

Robert walked up next to him. “This is where I come to masturbate.”

Craig’s head whipped around so fast he nearly got whiplash. His face must have shown his bewilderment, because Robert broke out into laughter, laughing so hard he bent over and braced himself on his knees. Craig spluttered. “Hey, man, that’s not cool. I was enjoying the scenery and you had to go and ruin the mood.”

Far from looking sorry, Robert held up his hands and grinned. “You should have seen your face, kid. I wish I had taken a picture.” He gestured backwards to the bed of the truck and after a few moments of shaking his head fondly, Craig joined him. Robert had covered the metal with a blanket, making it at least somewhat comfortable.

Craig crossed his arms behind his head and looked up into the night sky. He watched the clouds pass above them, tried counting the stars and made it to 145 before he gave up, listened to the breeze as it rattled the leaves of the trees and said goodnight to the owners of every house whose lights turned off. Neither he nor Robert said anything. Robert, he knew, didn’t like small talk and Craig enjoyed not having to engage in it for once immensely. Up here, it almost felt like none of his worries could reach him. Work, the softball team, workout plans and sick children, all of that lay below, somewhere in between the many lights and dark, shadowy buildings. Even his phone was quiet, for once. And somehow, he didn’t feel the urge to check it every five minutes.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Robert watching him. Craig turned his head to look back; Robert didn’t as much as blink even though he’d been caught. They stared in each other’s eyes for a few moments. Then Craig broke the silence. “Why did you bring me here, dude?”

Robert didn’t reply right away. He averted his gaze and fixed it on the waves in the distance. The moon, no longer hidden, illuminated his face and made his eyes shine. “Sam showed up at my door,” Robert eventually said. “Told me you’re stressed even more than you normally are which is a miracle, frankly, because I thought that would be impossible to accomplish. He asked me to try and help you relax. So, here we are.” Robert shrugged.

“You brought me here because Sam told you to?”

The older man snorted. “Please, as if Sam could make anyone do something they don’t want to do. The kid doesn’t have it in him.”

“Then why did you listen to him?”

Robert turned to look at him again. Craig shivered under his gaze. “Because he’s right, you’re stressed. You’re wound so tight you’re going to fly next time you fucking fart.” He held up a hand and Craig snapped his mouth shut again. “Look, I get it. Full moon’s soon. I can feel it in my bones, in my blood, and I remember how it was, back when I was new to the whole thing. Like you’re going to snap and it takes all your self-control to keep from ripping someone’s head off.” The corners of his mouth twitch at Craig’s confused expression. “Not like that for you? Must have been just me, then. But, jokes aside. Going into your first shift so fucking anxious and tense won’t do you good. It’ll make for one hell of a twitchy wolf and I didn’t plan on keeping you pinned to the ground the whole fucking time.”

Just hearing Robert talk about full moon, about shifting into a wolf, as if it was nothing out of the ordinary set Craig’s nerves on fire. He sucked his lower lip between his teeth and sat up, nervously rubbing his leg through his trousers.

“You going to have a panic attack, kid?”

Craig automatically shook his head, even though breathing had become painful. He hears the rustle of fabric, then Robert wraps his arm around Craig’s shoulders and shifts closer, until their thighs are pressed together. Somehow, the proximity made the knot in Craig’s throat uncurl. He took a few deep breaths and watched them rise to the sky as he exhaled. Apparently satisfied, Robert dropped his arm, but he didn’t move away again. Craig tried not to read too much into the way it made his heart skip a beat.

“You get them often?” Craig turned his head and raised a questioning eyebrow. Robert made a gesture with his hand. “Panic attacks.”

“Used to get them regularly during college, whenever my grades dipped so low, they didn’t as much brush the border between passed but barely and failed, they crashed on it head-first. After I got my act together, it only got worse.” Craig shook his head. “Took a while until I got it under control. Breathing exercises help.”

Robert didn’t say anything for some time and Craig stared at the city in front of them, trying not to think about those days too much. But then Robert broke the silence again. “What are you afraid of, kid?”

“Pardon?”

Robert gestured towards him. “You’re scared. You keep on pushing yourself over the edge. Why? What do you think’ll happen if you stop?”

Craig clutched his hands to fists and stared down into his lap. “I’m not scared. I’m just an ambitious person and a bit of a workaholic.”

Robert snorted. “You’re a shitty liar, Craig. You can’t lie to the biggest liar in all of fucking Maine. Trust me, I’ve tried.” There was a pause. “Look at me, kid.” Despite himself, Craig looked up, meeting Robert’s eyes. “What are you afraid of?”

Instead of answering, Craig averted his gaze and fixed it on one of the many blurred, dark shades in the distance. If he focused long enough, he might have started seeing schemes in them, the demons in his head. “I’m-“ Craig wet his lips. “I’m scared of falling back into my old habits. I was a mess. I didn’t care about anything but partying and having fun. I ate junk food, if I ate at all, I drank more alcohol than was healthy, and I slacked on all my chores. I worked hard to turn my life around and get my shit together, to give my girls a good life, but… I’m scared that if I stop, if I relax even once, then-“ He exhaled sharply and absently rubbed his shoulders. “And even when Sam or you force me to sit down and put my feet up, I feel like…”

“Like you don’t deserve it.”

Craig’s head snapped up. Robert was looking at the ocean and the moonlight did nothing to hide the sorrow and pain in his expression. Craig tried to think of words of protest, but even if he had found any, it would be useless, shallow. He looked away from Robert again and started chewing on a fingernail nervously.

“Look, I’m not going to claim I’m the best at giving life advice. My life’s a lot shittier than yours was in college.” Robert shifted next to him, bumping their shoulders together. “But your life? It’s not going to crumble just because you take a day off every now and then. You’ve got great girls, your ex is still in the picture, you’ve got your own business and you’re in great shape. None of that is going to break apart just like that.”

Craig shook his head with a sigh. “I know. I know all that, it’s just-“

“Ever thought about smoking?” At Craig’s incredulous look, Robert shrugged. “Nicotine’s calming.”

“And deadly.”

“Not anymore, kid. You could smoke four fucking packs at once and wouldn’t get lung cancer. Same with alcohol.”

“Explains why you’re still alive.” The sentence’s out before Craig’s brain could filter his mouth. He tensed, a chorus of shit went through his head, and he opened his mouth to apologise, but Robert giggling stopped him short in his tracks.

Robert Small. Giggling. Craig’s mind kind of short-circuited.

“I’m rubbing off on you, pup.” Robert elbowed Craig’s side and grinned. “Didn’t know you could be funny.”

“Hey, I make jokes all the time.”

Robert rolled his eyes and nudged Craig until he was lying down again. “You call those jokes? You really need a lesson in comedy.” He lay down as well, close enough for their sides to be pressed together, fingers brushing.

“That comes from the man whose humour is so dry and serious, 95% of the time no one can tell whether he’s serious or not.”

The older man propped himself up with his arm and turned on his side to look at him. “I'm so many levels of irony deep that I've forgotten what humour is. You’ll get there in time. Now, go fucking relax. Didn’t bring you here for a stand-up routine. And try not to panic about nothing. You don’t have to keep on running.”

Obediently, Craig resumed his previous position and continued gazing at the city beneath them. At some point, Robert pulled out a knife and began working on a piece of wood. It’s the most relaxed Craig felt in a very long while.

-----------------

From Robert: <you ready?>

<no>

From Robert: <I didn’t ask about your anxiety>

From Robert: <or whether you feel ready>

From Robert: <work?>

<knows I can’t be reached the next three days>

From Robert: <your kids?>

<Smashley picked them up two days ago. They’re going to her parents>

From Robert: <why’s your ex called Smashley anyway>

<her name’s Ashley>

From Robert: <oh really>

From Robert: <never would have guessed>

From Robert: <thanks, sherlock>

<there are two versions of the story behind her nickname. The first: she got so drunk during a party as a sophomore once, she smashed three windows and kicked down a wall on a dare.>

From Robert: <the second?>

<had a reputation for announcing her sexual encounters the morning after by shouting ‘Just smashed’ out of the window.>

From Robert: <which one’s true?>

<neither. She accidentally got involved with a drug ring thanks to her former best friend and helped the police>

<well>

<smash it>

From Robert: <you’re bullshitting me>

<yeah, okay, you caught me. I’m just kidding>

From Robert: <don’t you dare>

From Robert: <don’t you fucking dare craigory>

<or am I>

From Robert: <fuck you kale>

[ouhlukman]

It’s wrong

I just fallen with someone that I shouldn’t. It’s hurt me that I can’t confess to her (she’s single btw). I jusf don’t know if she likes me but sometimes she act like she does. She’s not like before. She’s changed. She’s sad. She’s crying. I couldn’t see her like that but there’s nothing that i can do. I hate my ego and myself. Plainly stupid to fall in love with your bestfriend. Why I have this feeling. I should stop falling for her. Why should i get jealous if she going out someone else she’s not mine. Why should i get worried if something bad happens to her. Oh god please take away my feelings. Sighs... i love her smile, the way she talk, when we together every seconds feel like ours. Yeah love can make people crazy and I’m the one. It’s just a restricted love where I just can silently loving her till she found a right guy (it won’t be me). When that day comes i hope she can smile again and forget all the pain and hardships that she been through. She will be closer with her creator. I wish i can hold her hands, hug her, wipe her tears and make her smile but it just my wishes..............