#for now i'm still the most active over @ discord and would love to have more threads there <3

[sanctus-ingenium]

answering asks vol 2.

'Smiths' can encompass enginesmiths (mercury), armoursmiths (mars), alchemists (saturn) and some others - generally a smith is someone who works with engines or metal in any capacity, whether by constructing them, managing their fuel, making armour, etc. all of them have a completely degendered role in the church. They are supposed to be wholly devoted to their craft & church, to the point of becoming almost unpeople, sexless.

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I like pantera :) he's the main character beast sure (alongside leun) but he's got a lot of interesting history and has been through a lot.

To start out I do some basic sketches while looking at bestiary diagrams of the animal type. Then I draw the base proportions over a photo of the animal's skeleton. Once the joints are all in place and I could imagine it moving relatively freely, I pick a motif and design the armour shapes with that in mind (i.e leun's trefoils, taurus's waves). The motifs come from a bunch of sources - if I see them in medieval art around that animal, the beast's use purpose, the culture that built them and how it might differ in art styles to the 'basic' designs from the heart of the Mezian theocracy. Fun stuff like that.

As an exercise I have taken (human) characters from other settings and made holy beast versions of them, trying to imagine what animal it would be, what weapons, what armour designs, etc. Behold, Bowman:

It's a fun exercise! I recommend :>

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Hi! Thank you for the suggestion! I actually did try to use OneNote for my thesis but I found that it ended up an extra step that got in the way. Instead I organised my reference papers manually (and wrote up all my bibliography by hand as well). I haven't heard of Notion so I might look into it :> as someone with adhd I find that the best way for me is to make it stupid easy, which is why discord works because I already use it for talking with friends and I like the mobile app.

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SO true!! You can make whatever the hell you want forever and that sounds really cool, I'm glad I was able to help in some little way >:) (although, holy beasts are not robots.. i think the best description for them is just. exotic vehicles.)

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lmao it's totally fine!! I love to talk

Sir Heaven had such a profoundly negative experience with Leun that he struggles with the concept of making anybody else do what he now considers to be his burden. He also feels that taking any new people inside Leun would endanger them.

The bishop of Salvius cathedral is the guy Heaven answers to, and his superior officer. The bishop has reported the matter to the pope and they're still working hard presenting new potential novices to Sir Heaven, but the thing is that Sir Heaven rejects them for seemingly valid reasons. He doesn't just say 'no I'm not taking apprentices', he says 'this one's reaction speed isn't good enough' or 'this one is too prideful'. But the longer he tries to keep this up, the more suspicion he heaps on his shoulders. If the time came, no, he would not be able to deny a direct order from the pope.

Ketjan was selected at random, one of a large group of other children who were not raised in the church. This is to ensure that there is no per-existing bias or knowledge of how holy beasts work. And he just happened to be the only one of the group who could master Leun's very demanding dialogue tattoo. The recruiting enginesmiths, who designed Leun's systems, were the ones to train him, but Ketjan was the one to write most of the procedures for operating Leun based on feedback from the dialogue.

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Replies from THIS post:

@ospreyonthemoon @kicks-tiktaalik-back-into-water

Krokodilos had an amazing high-tech ventilation system that used active air pumps to keep it circulating. But exactly like the second reply says, it broke down frequently. And because of how it worked, the interior of croc had to be air-tight so that the pumps could work efficiently. And, of course, if it broke down, and it was air tight on the inside, it instantly became a more dangerous deathtrap than your average passively ventilated beast.

There were valves that could be opened in an emergency but these were only added after the first Incident. The pumps would break down from the fabric seals degrading, lose efficacy, and then the parts furthest from the pumps would suddenly not get enough air anymore because air couldn't be moved such a distance with faulty pumps. The reason his enginesmiths want him to be re-commissioned is because the only barrier was the material used for the seals, and they believe they can innovate some new materials or try something different and have it work. They were even thinking of trying natural rubber, which would have worked perfectly, but they never got approval for it.

[pixies-and-poets]

It was a good attempt

Hey friends. I've had something eating away at me for a while now; I was going to give it a bit more time, but the anxiety around not talking about this is getting to me, so I'll just be direct.

I'm leaving tumblr (sort of).

Without being too melodramatic about this: I've had a lot of complicated thoughts about social media, fandom, the internet in general, being an artist/streamer online, and a bunch of related stuff over the past few years. It's always hard to sort out these thoughts properly, and even harder to talk about them, because I don't want anyone to attack me or assume I'm treating my personal experiences as universal, or belittling something that's important and meaningful to them. I will say I firmly believe that for many people, the modern internet is more harmful to mental health than we're all willing to admit. But I also know it's a great source of connection and friendship where I've met some of the people I love most. If I had a more solid black-and-white conviction or thesis about these complexities, I wouldn't be struggling so constantly to make sense of it all, and the internet's place in my life.

That said, the evidence of my own life points to the fact that the less "online" I am (at this point in my existence), the happier I am. That the remaining sources of self-loathing depression in my life are almost entirely triggered by the internet. That social media is a disaster for my OCD. For many months, I was hoping tumblr would be different. It's not. Realizing that the same old problems I have were just going to resurface here again was a painful process, one I kept denying.

I thought I'd be fine if I only checked in once or twice a day, but the more I do that, the more I find it hard to get myself to check in at all. Because when I do, I feel like I just can't keep up with everything anymore. I don't feel like a part of anything, I don't feel wanted or needed, and it just exacerbates my problems.

But I'm not going to disappear completely. I'll still pop in from time to time and answer any asks, and maybe post doodles. My art account @altermentality will still be active, when I have something worth posting.

You can still find me on twitter for now, and bluesky, but my presence of being truly "active" socially online will be limited to:

Discord- because I enjoy the few smaller, private-ish servers I'm in, and it's my hub for keeping in touch with people one-on-one.

Twitch - At this point in my life, I still greatly enjoy streaming, although my capacity to do it reliably varies. I also love the communities I'm in that I've developed with other streamers.

I'm altermentality on all the places mentioned above. If you'd like to keep in touch, please reach out.

My queue will run until it runs out.

It's been fun and I wish you all the best. Be well.

[7habitsofhighlyeviceratedpeople]

Hi I have some concerns regarding your server. I don't think it's a good idea to have your Outlast server be all ages... Outlast is a very adult game and isn't appropriate for teens to be discussing with random adults in a discord server, even if the discussions aren't necessarily bad, ie just gushing over a character or whatever; it's because of the nature of the game itself that makes it inappropriate. Red Barrels themselves don't want underage ppl interacting with their content either, their website has you put your date of birth in to even look at anything, and their official server actually is 18+. There's a reason why they do that. If there are minors in the server that get upset over not being allowed in anymore, if you do decide to make it 18+, then they can create their own Outlast server only for people their own age, so that its teens talking to teens with less risk of anything sus happening. I could never tell a 14 yr old to stop liking Outlast because I was a 14 yr old who loved Outlast, but being in the fandom and discussing aspects of the game with adults wasn't appropriate for me then and it still isn't now. I'm saying this from experience. Honestly I don't think any discord server even if totally SFW and clean should have both adults and teens in it because theres too mush risk involved. I think having a server for fans of Outlast is great and I'm sure fans in the server are happy with how it is, but making the server safer for both adults and minors in the server would probably make people happier

Hello! Sorry it took me a bit to get back to you, I just saw this today and needed some time to collect my thoughts because I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach this in a way that aligns with my own personal values for the server and also tries to adhere to what you are asking of me. I take the safety of people, especially minors in my server extremely seriously. I also got into Outlast at a young age and have had my fair share of experiences in the fandom with creeps, usually adults or just plain weird people. My server is 13+ to be the most inclusive, while trying to simultaneously make the space as safe as possible for everyone involved. While I agree that there are absolutely sus people in this fandom (more so than others) and that it can be extremely dangerous for minors to even coexist in the fandom with these people, as i’ve literally spoken about in the past, it’s very easy for bad situations to happen. That being said, I personally find it easier and more safe to curate my space in a way where it’s inclusive to minors while also keeping it as safe as I have control over making it. The rules are specifically designed to make sure that weirdos DONT get in, and we have a very active community with moderators enforcing these rules. We don’t allow anything NSFW to get in the server outside of the specified channels, which BY THE WAY are role locked. You HAVE to be 18+ (unless you feel comfortable lying to me which I can’t really control and i don’t want to completely lock minors out of the server just over the potential of a person lying to me which will result in an immediate ban) We don’t allow any sort of discussion about anything NSFW in any channels, including conversations about sex, drugs, etc. The rules are insanely fine tuned to make things as safe as possible, and as of right now myself and mods feel it is safer to keep the server the way it is, than to kick all the ppl who are younger than 18 out to go find some other worse server or make their own which i personally don’t find to be a super safe option either. Here they are more protected imo than if they went to seek out other servers/made one that was ONLY minors. This is my personal stance on the matter, and I understand that this isn’t what you wanted to hear. For that I apologize but I will always be prioritizing the safety of the people in my server in the best way i feel that I can. I feel like under the rules we have and the safety measures instated they are the most safe in this server than one that’s completely lawless and i feel like one minor lying to me about their age is less dangerous than a creep lying about THEIR age to get into a server full of fucking minors. Doesn’t sit right with me, once again I am sorry. I will consider making the server age requirement older and speaking to the mods and members about putting even more safety things in place but like i said I just feel safer with the way things are. My dms are open for concerns btw 🤞 There is more I could say on this but I feel like this gets my feelings across the best way I can :) to me it’s like banning smthn like abortion. (weird example i know) it doesn’t stop ppl from getting them but it just makes for a safer, more sterile environment! Remember it is a FANDOM server at the end of the day and this is a very different situation than Red Barrels putting an age thing on their websites (which ppl can just lie to with yr logic lol)

[radicalrefrigerator]

Happy International Asexuality Day to all aces in the world! Unfortunately, I'm late, I woke up this morning and realized I'd missed it- which is sad, because the day means a lot to me. I've been thinking a lot today, though, and had some things I wanted to say. 

Don’t let anyone ever tell you, “You’re too young to know.” You’re not. I’ve known for years I was aroace, before I had the terms to explain it, before I’d come to terms with it. I first learned what asexuality was from a friend on discord. They explained the meaning of the labels, and that it could be me. For a whole other year, I still didn’t accept it. I continued to believe there was something wrong with me, I was still young, I hadn’t found the right person, etc. Yet, the whole time, I knew it at the back of my mind.

Now, it’s been 2 years since I spiralled in my thoughts so much I stayed awake the entire night, and by the time it was morning, I’d accepted I was aroace. A lot of people would probably tell me it’s not that deep, but at the time, it was really difficult for me to come to terms with. I’ve never come out to someone who wasn’t accepting- I came out to a few of my friends immediately once I’d realized, all of them queer, and they were nothing but proud of me. It’s been more of an internal journey for me. 

It’s been 2 years. When I realized I was aroace, I was 14. I’m still young, but I know myself better now. I’ve matured, and I’m old enough to know for sure now. I’m aroace, and that’s probably not going to change- it’s who I am, and I would know if I wasn’t. So whatever your age is- don't let anyone tell you asexuality isn't a real thing, that you're making it up, or that you're too young to know. I knew when I was 12, listening to my friends talk about their crushes, and just quietly giggling here and there when I felt like it was on cue, but never actually saying anything, because I didn’t know where to fit into the conversation. Even fictional crushes were absolutely foreign to me. I knew when I discovered the song “Mad at Disney” and would sing “What the hell is love supposed to feel like?” over and over. I still don’t. And that’s okay. 

I can’t relate to every aromantic or asexual experience I’ve read on the internet or heard from friends. A lot of my inner struggle comes from the fact that most of my life, I’ve wanted love. I never actively searched for it, but in my head, I romanticized it. The idea of dates, holding hands, kissing and sex all sounded really great to me on paper and in books and TV shows and fanfiction but when the idea actually started being presented to me I found myself dodging it subconsciously. I still feel like this a lot today- but aromanticism and asexuality alike are spectrums. Desiring romantic or sexual connection, or having certain levels of attraction for people, doesn’t erase who you are <3

[panblackeagle]

I need more roleplay partners

This is an active attempt at making people want to roleplay with me, because I just need more active ones, other than the one that I currently have (they're irreplaceable for sure!)

Now, I accept anything MxM and FxF, shipping OCs is cool, but I mainly ship things from fandoms (I am quite sure that you will recognise at least one of these, trust me). I find gore completely fine and I come for drama, as long as it doesn't come out of nowhere. I write in a weird mix between semi-lit and literate. If I keep myself short, I either don't know what to write or I am preoccupied with something else at the moment. 18+ stuff is good too, I am 20 (I am a pure bottom, but not all that I roleplay is submissive, most of them stand their ground quite well). I am a very creative person, who will most likely find a plot in anything, so if you want to add things aswell, just let me know!

These are the fandoms that I roleplay (+ if I am desperate to roleplay in it lol)

♤Dream Daddy (not really desperate, only doing it if I get to be Damien)

♡Spaloon 1-3 (yes, yes, yes, all of them queer tentacle creatures!)

♤Pokemon (every generation is fine, we can even be the Pokemon, I am a furry)

♡No Straight Roads (I had an incident, not doing it for at least the next few months)

♤The Stanley Parable (not really desperate, I've done it quite a bit)

♡Countryhumans (it's been at least three years, very desperate and I make a good Germany and Finland)

♤Undertale/Deltarune (I never really mind it, even the AUs are cool)

♡Team Fortress 2 (always up for it, if I get to be either Medics)

♤Super Mario/Luigi's Mansion 2-3 (I want to do it from time to time)

♡Jojo's Bizarre Adventure part 3-4 (the most desperate, poor Kakyoin got done dirty!)

♤Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss (eh, could be worse, I'm obsessed with Staticmoth (don't expect me to be Val though))

♡Detroit Become Human (not desperate, but I can make exceptions)

♤Yokai Watch (I just think this one to be fun)

♡Pikmin 1-4 (I'd be willing to try it)

♤Super Smash Bros (I'd be Mii Swordfighter because he's my main)

♡Steven Universe (I'd be up to do it, respectfully for the lesbian space rocks)

♤My Little Pony (Sure, why not!)

♡Sonic (I don't know much, but I am still willing to do it)

♤Villainous (I make a good Flug and Slug, not desperate though)

♡Good Omens (I have not seen the second season yet, but still!)

♤Hetalia (I am not really knowledgeable, but I can roleplay as Ludwig)

♡Sanders Sides (there are possibilities)

♤Fnaf (I really like being Bonnie of any kind ^^)

♡Cookie Run Kingdom (there's good potential in it!)

♤Wander Over Yander (I literally only want to do deathglare and to be Peepers!)

♡Legends Of Avantris - specifically Once Upon A Witchlight or Stardust Rhapsody (honestly, I would absolutely love to!)

♡The Amazing Digital Circus (holy hell, I did NOT expect to dive into royalteeth so deep- (my favourite is Caine, no doubt))

If you are interested in roleplaying with me now, you can comment or dm me. If you prefer roleplaying with me on Discord, I can send you my Discord in dms.

[komorebi-rabbit]

Hey you!

I just came from your Sasori Roleplay account. I wasn't sure if you were active there anymore, so I hopped on over here via your pinned post.

You seem like a talented and fun person to roleplay with, so I thought why not ask?

I've read your rules and some of the older blogs and they really resonated with me.

I used to roleplay Itachi on Amino like you used to play/still play(?) Sasori on here. Those in depth roleplays that just make my heart sing. And also the RPs that are a pain to find because...well...novella takes work. And building a bond with a character who isn't naturally friendly takes even more time.

Still those have got to be the most fun times I can remember from my teens. And I misss them...

It was quite challenging to find people who share similar views on roleplaying and like the same fandom. So I must have given up sometime back. And when I read your blog today, I was instantly like "Oh my god this is exactly what I was looking for" (except like 6 years passed since I last attempted that xD)

So I wanted to pop in and say "Hi, I love your blog already!" but that didn't quite suffice so here we are xD.

It's kinda funny because after all this time not roleplaying, I found myself on tumblr, figured why not make a Sasori RP account (there are many others for the Naruto characters) to have some fun and be nostalgic? But...there was still a little 'eh' that was missing. And I found it in your blog.

I adore it, when people just get their characters and portray them correctly. And I've been aching to find more people like this. I remember it being quite the challenge in the past, back in my Itachi days, so it was like a gift to find your account!

Anyways, I am trailing off-

I'd love to RP with you sometime. Or...to just chat and reminisce about days past, even if I just discovered you today. I just know I would have loved to have you in my Akatsuki geoup back in 2015.

I hope you have a lovely day!

This is the SWEETEST message, oh my lord, thank you so much! You have no idea how happy this made me and how much I needed this little spark of positivity in my life right now!

I unfortunately no longer RP on tumblr due to some incidents that have made me wary over the years. I also no longer RP Sasori, but I do still RP in the Naruto fandom, just on Discord with friends that I am comfortable with. Novella does take work! But man, if it isn't worth the effort! I'm so glad people are still RPing and taking up Sasori. He absolutely deserves that love! Unfortunately, I did most of my tumblr RP back when the manga was still ongoing and tumblr was at its peak so there was a LOT more interaction then than I see these days. I wish it could go back to being that way! I miss a lot of the friends I made back then! (But also I'm still friends with some of them 10 years later, it's fantastic. You really form some lasting bonds). Even back then, however, there were only ever a couple of Sasori accounts (like... maybe 3, not including myself? And most were not active).

I'm mostly a Shisui RPer these days, though I do write for Kakashi, Tobirama, Kisame, and Izuna, too! Like I said, though, I only RP with those I'm super comfortable with, but if you want, I have plenty of recs for you! I'm also KomorebiRabbit on AO3 and @komorebirabbitwrites. My Sasori is actually heavily based on characterization from @renaerys and her works from back then (such as Zero Hour) and she is still writing FANTASTIC Sasori works to this day. I mean absolutely unbelievable, haunting, you will never get it out of your head type fics. Her characterization is unparalleled and also she's just an awesome person in general! I also mod @sasoriweek which will happen again in November of this year!

Also, if you like dark, horror-heavy Sasori, Athelise on AO3 is absolutely amazing! She writes such an interesting Sasori and some phenomenal smut, I definitely recommend her!

[fallinglntokillugon]

💙💚KilluGon in April 2024! 💙💚

(created by me this year!) (+ a long update)

Hello, everyone. I'm not entirely dead, but I sure feel like I am. Still thinking about KilluGon every day as per usual, but my time to draw and write has been greatly depleted. School gets more difficult the older you get...

Currently, my iPhone6 doesn't have enough data to install Tumblr on my phone anymore. All my Instagram accounts have failed because it's all children on there... stupid western-minded children. My Wattpad got deleted when they got bought by Canada and I didn't feel like having that happen over and over again. My AO3 is fine, sending me emails almost every day of someone liking one of my works (thank you all so much for that). I want to update and add there, but nothing I've written in the past 2-3 years is edited, let alone finished past a paragraph or half a page on GoogleDocs. And most of them deal with my KilluGon Dimensions, in which Series 1 [2018-2023] has concluded and Series 2 [2023~] has begun (yet I still love Series 1 too much to fully let it go... ). My Discord activity is pretty dead, though I wish I could create a KilluGon-only group that could thrive on there.

I'm mainly on Twitter(X) now, participating in Japanese-limited HunterxHunter merch culture. Collecting all those Killuas and Gons is so draining and my Japanese isn't all that good (I'm an English KilluGon fanfic writer after all). Still, for the sake of my boys, I keep moving forward with them by my side. Killua is even on my face every day because I bought the collaboration glasses.

-------

Well, now that all my rambling update is finished, it's time to start KilluGon in April 2024! For people who are new or have forgotten, it's the April equivalent of Inktober, but for KilluGon. As usual, I'm not sure how far I'll be able to get this year, but I made the prompt list myself this time. Randomized the days and randomized the words from two separate online generators. If you too would like to participate in KilluGon in April 2024, please go ahead! If it's anything other than KilluGon, such as you like the prompt list, use it quietly. Even in my year of absence, I haven't changed. KilluGon is life. 💙💚

[galacticsand]

Movelang #000 - Introduction to the Language and Noun Class System

Nophhurra, my friends! Today I begin a series of posts showcasing an experimental conlang that I've been working on now and tinkering with for just over a year. At the moment, this language does not have a name in-conlang, and so I'll be referring to it for the time being by the language's project name "Movelang". Originally this language came about as the result of an idea that I wanted to experiment with in a conlang, and the language has since solidified and expanded in more ways than one. In this post, I'll be introducing you all to Movelang, along with the goals that I have since codified for it. As it stands, this language currently holds no connection to my Personal Conworld Project, as it is currently only an experiment, and I don't see it being adapted in any way for it, at least for the time being, but who knows, that could change one day!

The origins of Movelang lay in a discord server that I was and still am actively a part of. At the time, a group of us were discussing neat and nontrivial noun class systems that could potentially be used in a conlang, and one of us (I can't remember exactly who right now, but I do know it wasn't me), suggested an idea for a noun class system that is based on the mode by which nouns in question would be transported or moved around. We all loved this idea right away, and we set originally to put together a server collaborative conlang to implement this idea. After some time passed though, the project fell into obscurity, but I still found this idea to be super cool, and wanted to experiment with it further, and so I ended up stealing the idea, and building it into my own personal experimental piece!

The resulting noun class system shown above is what I ended up with after reconsidering the original class system that we had come up with together. The system I devised consists of 8 noun classes, a slight upgrade from what had originally been 6 more broad classes, which are distinguished by a mode of moving, carrying, or transport used for associated nouns in the appropriate class. I also gave each class a cool name that reflects the mode of movement associated with it as well! The class definitions are of course broad as well, as is the case with all languages that make use of noun classes, and not all nouns that fit into one of these classes will follow the category specified for each one.

In terms of goals, my primary goal was of course to implement the cool noun class concept that the group I was in had originally devised: to set up noun classes based on mode of movement for prospective nouns. Aside from this, my intention is also to experiment with a couple of other aspects of conlanging that I had been wanting to use hitherto. One of the big ones is being able to create a lot from a little in terms of derivations, which I've been able to do for the most part already, in addition to a loose adherence to naturalism, which hasn't been as big of a goal for me with this being an experiment, as already mentioned, but has helped me to keep the language looking plausibly realistic for the most part.

As I continue sharing more bits and pieces with you all about Movelang, I hope to show you how I've been able to adhere to these goals as its development has moved forward, slowly but surely, and I can't want to show you all what I've made very soon!

=-=-=-=

This is my first big post to the blog, and my thoughts can sometimes be all over the place, especially if I'm super excited, so do let me know if you'd like me to clarify anything mentioned here. Feel free to drop me an ask and I'll answer it whenever I find the time if it adds to the post! Who knows, maybe I'll even give a sneak peak of what I have to come later, if it's particularly relevant... Until then, hope you all are as excited as I am! :D

[scruffyssketchbook]

Wait you like dusk TwT??

For some reason i thought you hated him or at least disliked it, like yknow those main characters you originally like but later on hates? As like you don't like it so you make it where everyone will hate him

Then again it might be because of how much dusk suffers in comic AND ask blog, not even mentioning how much of a jerk/evil you make him out to be

Him not getting any of the brotherhoods anything, seperating the box (creating said brotherhoods that we know is a problem), an evil mastermind or at least seems to be, Flame hates him and tells us never trust him (mind you we are led to believe Flame is more of 'the good guy' between the both of them), being careless to the other eevees, manipulating(?) daisy, you mentioning one time that dusk will be hated by everymon and gets left behind (except by Vay and Dawn i'm pretty sure) in the future

This isn't dissing you in any way, i was just genuinely surprised to learn that you liked Dusk with how much you set him up to be someone we should hate

Hope you have a great day :D!

OH YEAH YOU SEE

Dusk doing all of that and being evil was actually *drumroll plz* ... ... ... A COMPLETE ACCIDENT! One that I wasn't aware of until someone who read the comic told me! :D I as a kid just made him a Mary Sue who controlled everything and I didn't realize it! He was my favorite character actually. So then when I found out "shoot, all the things he does is actually kind of bad", I did start to dislike him, BUT YOU SEE, HE'S JUST TOO CUTE!!! And I feel sorry for him QwQ. He genuinely just wats everyone safe and only does what he does out of fear of losing control and bad things happening to everyone due to him not having said control again. Ofc, his actions are still unacceptable, but his motives are pure (most of the time). But yeah his actions are still REALLY REALLY BAD and theres no defending him at all. BUT I STILL VERY MUCH LOVE HIM DESPITE THESE ACTIONS. But he deserves everyone hating him.

But like. again, that again is another issue I personally have with SSEC, isn't it?

Dusk deserves to get punished for his actions. He lies, manipulates, and hurts everyone around him. And like, as things are right now. He def will. EVERYONE will leave him, and he'll be in the position he fears the most- being alone. TRULY alone. And no one is going to reach out their hand to help him because- why should any of them? He ruined their lives, lied to them, broke their trust, hurt the ones they love, etc etc.

But like.

I don't really want to write that anymore tbh. It would be really great to see, don't get me wrong, but like. hmm.

A story. There was a point of time where the active people in the Discord server hated on the main cast and only spoke of the In game eevees. i was hyped about them liking the eevees at first, but as time went on, people showed more and more animosity towards the main characters. It wasn't that these people hated the mains passionately, cause I'd love that. They just didn't care about them, they were apathetic. And these were the core fans that were active in the community daily. Now. I spent years and years crafting these characters and their personalities, so honestly this really hurt me. ^^; I over compensated and said things like "Oh yeah the mains are supposed to be assholes" and did things like focused more on the eevees rather than the mains. I was told things like "The main characters are just not likeable" or "I don't care about the mains, I care about (eevee who has no personality)" by these people who were big fans of my work, and just felt really really bad. Because- The main characters kind of deserve it. I made all of them have BIG flaws, i made all of them do awful things, so why not latch onto one note characters who have done no wrong? Characters who you can shape into anything because they are essentially a blank canvas. Either way, the whole experience made me not like the eevees much, something that I only came out of last year.

With the current trajectory of the series, ALL of the main characters will get exposed for all the shitty things they did and get punished for it. They are the leaders after all, the Politicians, you can say. They are the ones directly in the way of the happiness of the eevees. Their actions or Inactions directly cause mostly all of the issues in the box. They are kind of all the bad guys! Blizz gave the Icedrop leadership to Vay and beats up eevees, Vay is abusive to eevees in his own brotherhood, Bolt cant do anything without Dean and lets Dusk get away with the things he's doing, Flame just does nothing for his brotherhood, Dusk is a tyrant, Daisy is a loyal follower of said tyrant, Eve is a liar, Dawn beats up others and is NEVER THERE. LIKE! I don't blame anyone for not liking them, they are kind of all horrible if you look at it. But I still like them despite these negative traits, and like, I don't really want to write a story where they are the big bad evil guys. I don't want to write a story where the main characters loose all of their friends and hope and can't get any of them back due to their own shitty actions and just remains alone, the thing they fear the most. and I don't want everyone suffering due to the actions of these characters. I want more of well- things like this scrapped script:

Dusk: *Dusk is in the rain, his fur drenched and his spirit broken. As he walks back to the small tree he called home, he idly kicks at a pebble on the ground. Nearing the tree, he looses sight of the pebble, and he looks up, trying to use his arm to lift up the fur in his eyes.* ……? *There, he sees Blizz under his tree, holding an umbrella alone, He seemed to have been waiting for him a long time, as the glaceon was fidgeting with a leaf and there were a small pile of them on the ground next to him.* Blizz: *looks up excitedly, leaf forgotten, and waves at him* Hi Dusk!!! Dusk: *frowns, skeptical and hesitant* ….. why are you here? Blizz: *frowns at him, confused* Why wouldn’t I be here? I wanna hang out with you. Dusk: *Dusk stares at Blizz, in disbelief. Blizz….. What’s to hang out with him? After everything? After all he’s done to him and the others?* W-wha-? Blizz: *stares at Dusk, mimicking his confused expression* Dusk: What about- Everything I did? To you, to everymone! Don’t you hate me like everymon else??? Blizz: *Stares at him confused* …Why would I hate my best friend? *A silence falls between the two as they stared at each other, Dusk flabbergasted. But then, tears started rolling down his cheeks* Dusk: *breaks down, yelling* Why WOULDN’T YOU!??? I’VE MADE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE, I TOOK YOUR FRIENDS AWAY, I MADE EVERYONE LOOK DOWN ON YOU! WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW???? Blizz: … Dusk: YOU SHOULD HATE ME! YOU DO HATE ME! YOU SHOULD WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! WHY ARE YOU HERE? JUST TO MOCK ME? JUST TO GLOAT THAT YOU WON? AFTER ALL I DID TO YOU? WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE??? Blizz: … Dusk: CAN'T YOU USE YOUR TWO BRAINCELLS FOR ONCE AND SEE THAT I- Blizz: *He is suddenly holding the umbrella over Dusk, staring at him with intense teal eyes. He blinks* I don't care. Dusk: ... Blizz: I’m here because….. *he looks away, a lopsided frown on his face. He sighs* I know how it feels to be alone, and to have everyone seem like it’s against you. *he looks at Dusk* When it happened to me, when I was alone, when my brothers and when my friends left me and I had no one… you were always the one who held out their paw to me, and we would hang out, and you’d make me feel better. So… I wanna help you feel better too. *He smiles* and I want you to know… that you are not alone. Even if you think you are. I won’t abandon you. We're still best friends! ^^ Dusk: ... *after staring at Blizz like he's crazy, Dusk starts laughing, as tears still fell down his face* You are- an idiot, he says inbetween fits of sobs and laughs* Blizz: But I'm YOUR idiot! :D *Blizz smiles, as Dusk starts sobbing again*

But like- why would Blizz even forgive him? And even if he did, to get to this we have to slosh through a bunch of things, a civil war, a couple betrayals, more characters getting hurt, someone (not Dusk) getting disowned, more mains being frankly awful. And personally, I don't want to write that. That was never what SSEC was meant to be, but what it turned into due to poor planning. But that's what the hundreds of comics and thousands of writings have built up to, so I keep pushing on.

But I'm kind of tired of that.🙃

And if you are wondering why I keep talking about this stuff and not doing anything about it, the only reason why I'm talking about this stuff publicly is because I am in fact, doing something about it.

LET ME COMPLAIN IN PEACE, I EARNED IT.

[seahdalune]

template under read more + musings

TF2: so. TF2 huh. got into it last year. i kinda lost interest because of a tf2 discord server that i ended up leaving in bad terms + no content updates + i didn't do jackshit in the fandom. i made my robot oc blog but unfortunately that one died along with my fixation! oops.

Papa Louie: the ultimate killer of my tf2 fixation. the increasing amount of "Papa Louie lore is CRAZY!" videos in my recommended feed and the eventual release of Freezeria Deluxe drawing in streamers, and then Jerma, was what finally got me to crack and give the games a go. i don't regret it, because i finally joined a fandom that i actively (? the fandom's kiiiiinda dead aha;;) participate it, after like 2 years of wandering around! it kinda faltered around July~August, but after downloading Flashpoint, it came back double the force.

Scott Pilgrim: got the books for my birthday. read them. the graphic novels haunted me for a while because it was so.... different! from what i've read up to that point. i buried it into my subconciousness but the show dug it up again. i'm not thaaaat into it though. it's a background thought thing.

Good Omens: season 2 babyyyyyy, i wasn't as into it as i was in like.... 2021? i mean, back then i read like, a shitton of GO fanfics. i think that fandom is still my most bookmarked fandom within my fic folder. season 2 was great! heartbreaking even. but as i said, i already blew my steam back in like, 2021. i didn't really have Good Omens people to talk with anyways, not that i'm confident enough to find any.

Madness Combat: was around for the 2021 boom, but my fixation came back because of the Makeship plushie thing, fight meh ok. i wonder a little if they were worth it over the Papa Louie plushie when my fixation didn't last as long (it kiiiinda does sting i had to give him up? it would be nice to own official Papa Louie merch ;;) but whateves. they're in my arms. they're very cuddly. i'm getting off-point, anyways i love these freaks, love the action in the animations, i wanna play the game but at the same time i'm not sure how well i'm gonna be able to handle the guns and the killing. eh, i'll manage, i'll live. i guess i kinda stopped being fixated because like i said, nobody to talk to since i'm a little wary about the fandom... uh, i'm sure there are a lot of nice people, but i've had peeks at what arguments people have been having and that made me decide to just lurk.

AVA/AVM: my friend was watching it and they got into it, so i got curious and i looked into it as well. they're cute little ibbly babbles, those sticks. big fan of the Animator vs Animation series especially because awoo.... it advances so much in style in each episode. V and VI especially blow shit out of the water. love it. love it. didn't really bother to get into the fandom though. i didn't see a place to sit down, so i just walked through the merchant hall and moved on. i stare at the wares every now and then though.

HLVRAI: watched it recently. it's nice. not.... really enjoyable enough for me to be a full-blown fan, but whateves. i kinda don't know why that happened to be the thing that all my mutuals were obsessed with throughout 2021 but the only reason i didn't get into it either was because i didn't finish Hal-Life 1 and i wanted to get into the game blind due to hearing that it was "the best game ever that influenced the gaming industry forever". i wonder, that if i wasn't such a wuss, would i have watched HLVRAI earlier and enjoyed it more? we'll have to see with HL2VRAI. i haven't finished HL2 either btw... sigh.

[andypantsx3]

This is going to sound weird, but do you have any tips on how to gain traction as a fanfic writer? I've been trying for years and I get next to no interaction on my writing. I know I shouldn't care because I should be writing for myself, but it's still frustrating to see other writers get thousands of notes, and reblogs and asks praising their fics and I get maybe 20 likes. I've been looking into discord fandom groups but a lot of them don't allow people over 30, and I don't do well with busy groups anyway. I try to be active on my blog, and interact with other people and make myself approachable, but I'm getting so incredibly tired of talking to an empty space. Sorry, I think I ended up venting instead >_<

WARNING: DISCOURSE AHEAD

Omg hello my love!! First of all, I'm so sorry you feel this way! I have so many conflicting thoughts on this, let me try to get them in order for you!!

I guess, let me first start with some tips that I think actually answer your question, and then I'll just monologue about the ways I've been thinking about fandom recently, and you can skip that part if you wanna!

Part 1: Actual Thoughts on Your Question (lol)

I am possibly not in the best position to ask about this because I mostly happened to be in the right place at the right time, publishing my fics in the early part of the pandemic when people were more actively engaging in the fandom. But in my experience, outside of discord groups, other good ways to meet people and get your work out there are joining zines & collabs.

I'm not completely up-to-date with what the accounts are now that track these things, but there are several tumblrs and twitter accounts like BNHA Zines that exist to retweet & publicize zine posts. Look for zines that are in the interest check & application stages!! You can apply during the application phase and the good thing is that most zines will ask for an application piece and will judge you on your work rather than your follower count!!

Collabs are usually even easier because many of them are just open to whoever wants to join! I've only participated in server collabs but I've seen several posts cross my dash that are open to anyone. I'd probably monitor the collaboration and x reader tags on tumblr and join in on anything that looks fun!!

Another thing that I've noticed people do a lot is self-reblog their fics a couple times just to maximize their circulation. I've seen a lot of moots trying to make sure they hit good hours for different time zones and different days of the week to ensure their followers are at least aware that they've posted something if they don't have notifs on (I don't have notifs on so I'm grateful for these because otherwise I miss a lot!!). Even I have srb'd a time or two if I'm particularly proud of something lol.

And I think, if I also wanted to be a shark about things, I would try to get in on the ground floor of a fandom in its early stages!! For example, the second season of JJK is coming out soon and it's sure to bring a wave of new readers to the JJK fandom, especially for the characters like Gojo and Getou who look like they're gonna be the main focus of the season.

I think if you wanted to be extra sharp about things, you might time a fic release with some of the first couple episodes of a new season where you can be sure more people than usual will be poking around in the tags!! And if your fic is published during the early stages of a fandom, it's going to have more eyes on it overall than a fic published towards the conclusion of the series.

Anyway this is what I could think of. I hope this advice is practical and useful!! Now onto me blathering.

Part 2: Resisting Influencer Culture in Fandom Spaces

This part might be kind of controversial. I want to first acknowledge how easy it is for me to think and say these sorts of things when I'm already more than pleased with the amount of engagement I get. And I want to recognize that it is so, so deeply human to want recognition, community, and support for the things that we write.

I think it is so completely natural that you want interaction on your writing. All of us totally do, otherwise we wouldn't be publishing it publicly. If our work was truly, singularly for us and us alone, we'd keep it in the drafts lol. We put it out there hoping for praise and appreciation and connection, and in my opinion there is no shame in that.

So, admission time: I also definitely compare myself to other writers, and I have several times thought about transitioning more towards the type of content that drives higher note counts on tumblr: smuttier one-shots usually under 10k! I can see a huge difference in terms of just my own work on how my one-shots typically do in comparison to chaptered fics. And I definitely see how fast smutty imagines shoot up there in terms of note count.

But I was listening to a podcast episode recently on trying to sort of transition away from a metrics-focused approach to fandom. In the podcast, they talk about how in trying to legitimize fanfic as a literary mechanism, we've also sort of accidentally subjected it to our capitalist-influencer-mindset, where we see fic as more legitimate the more kudos it gets or the more followers it nets you, because in traditional influencer spaces, those followers are potential capital.

I'm definitely not saying you or I see people as potential revenue streams, but I think probably neither of us are immune to the culture at large, and we both probably carry some of internalized sense of our own value based on metrics, reach, and influence. And that sucks!!!!

Fandom, of all things, is supposed to be a specifically anti-capitalist space. We can't make money off of fanfic or fanart (legally, anyway lol), and we're all not the owners of the franchises either so none of our takes are necessarily more "valid" or weightier than others!! We're all supposed to just be trading stories around a campfire with no thought to their literary merit or monetary value. We're just supposed to enjoy the stories.

So, I don't know what the right answer is about how to try to resist the influences of our capitalist culture at large; I'm hoping someone smarter than me will tell me. But I do know that in fanfic, the value of your story can absolutely never be determined by how much engagement you get. Because fandom is not about metrics, and there is no inherent value in metrics. There is only the fun you had creating the story, and the depth of the connection you made with someone over it--even if that's just one other person.

And so I personally am at least trying to resist the lure of transitioning to smutty one-shots even though I think a lot of people would like that. Because what I like doing is writing my little 30k multi-chaps; those are my fave kinds of stories to tell, I'm not letting my metrics tell me what I should be writing.

I hope, at the very least, you know that your worth and the value of your story is not defined by how many other people have read it. And if you ever wanna chat more about this let me know, I'm still figuring this all out myself and could use friends to explore it with!!

[i-am-beckyu]

rahhh i'm glad you're doing well and i hope works gets a little slower soon 🤍 also YUMMYYY thank you for the snippet i LOVE IT i'm genuinely so excited for it :DDD BECKYU CONTENTTT!!!!!! :3

and about serenityyyy i'll see what i can get! i've kind of been all around with my plot for serenity lately but it's slowly getting planned out (i've planned chapters 1-14 so far!)

i guess all i really need is a Spot for him cause techno's got his role, so does wilbur and ranboo and everyone else but so far i've just been stuck on using phil as a distant familial connection to tommy :v if i could i would want to try and get him involved with the other realms too, idrk :v

i also just did see that there's a #serenity split tag on your blog with some info,,, i'm not really sure what's lost on discord sjdnf

— brick

Lol I'm glad your excited. (I spent like 4 hours working on this fic last night and am very VERY pleased with how it's going. I def needed to write something new after so much focus on other wips :3) And yeaaaaaah works just gonna be busy because of the holidays and such. Schools work differently in Australia so the long 6 week break starts next week and everyone wants there cars fixed :|

And oh my goodness I am so glad for my excessive need to categorise stuff with tags because the serenity split tag has been so good rereading all the info you've shared!

So I know you've been working on the plot but this is my suggestion based on what I found on the tag.

Phil is the one that found Tommy in an alley way. The man is literally the reason Tommy builds a relationship with first before being brought home to his residents and adopted. Phil basically saw this child and said: Is anyone going to adopt him? And did.

Now at the time, Tommy was still just a child so he basically took on the responsibility to raise Tommy. And even though it was strange how mature this child was, to Phil, Tommy was still just a boy and raised him as his own. He watched how he changed and grew.

Now we skip to the present and obviously Tommy's getting all his ingredients so he's probably distancing himself which Phil picks up on. He puts it down to Tommy maturing and wanting his own space so he does his best not pry. He thinks back to how Tommy once said that he wasn't actually from this world and was on a mission- but he put that down to an over active imagination.

Basically Phil is your "trying to be a good dad and looking out for his adopted son" father figure.

It would all come to head most likely when he discovers who Tommy really is and then would learn more about his realm and stuff.

I think Phil being mortal in this would work well but if given the opportunity, he might meet Lady death through Tommy and become smitten with her. You wouldn't have to elaborate on them too much from there but could def hint at Kristin being interested in him and that suddenly Phil is seeing some mysterious woman.

That would be my take on it and I think would be best.

If you wanted another route tho, I suggest since Lady Life did guide Tommy to the mortal realm, she could of spoken to her sister Lady death that she was worried about his safety and Death literally sends her best angel (AKA Phil whos been in the mortal realms for a while doing other things -no idea what tho) to find and look after tommy. But that would alter the first idea cause then he would know about the other realms and stuff. Up to you but that's what I can think of.

Concerned/Supportive father trope lol

Hope that helps <3

[burntheedges]

Thought I'd randomly give a friendship bracelet to someone on the Scout list (to be fair since I know many of you in passing) and my finger landed on your username. :)

I'm always curious about how people entered the fandom - so I'm curious to know how you did?

(I tend to get long winded when I explain my origin so don't be afraid of being detailed)

hi!! thank you 🧡🥰 I love it!

I'm kind of excited to answer! ok here come the details. I've been in fandom in general for what feels like forever -- I started reading fic when I was like 11 or 12 and discovered ffnet (I turn 37 this month). I hopped from there to livejournal to various individual ship sites (we used to do it that way before ao3, for anyone who doesn't remember) to like, yahoo groups, and back to ffnet.

Then I got a tumblr in ... 2010ish? Not this account, I created this one last October so I could be more involved in this fandom and post fics. So my other one has been around forever (yeah I was here for dashcon and everything else lmao), and I was a fan in many fandoms, but I was never a creator. I think my post with the most notes was from when I watched Hannibal and liveblogged about it (I wasn't in the Hannibal fandom, before anyone asks). I was pretty active on tumblr until the end of 2018, less active until 2022, and then I came back in a sort of chill way. I wasn't posting much, just reblogging and scrolling.

On the fic side, I got an ao3 account in 2012 after reading without an account for like a year (RIP to all those bookmarks that never were). I've been reading fic daily for like, most of my life at this point, but ao3 changed the game in such a huge way. It's weird to think back to what life was like before ao3! (as of today I have 9235 bookmarks on ao3)

Then in spring 2023 I discovered that the Pedro fandom existed. Honestly I'm sad I didn't know about it before, I feel like it would have helped me through 2020 and 2021 if I did. I read my first ever x reader fic (rough day) and then went looking for the author on tumblr. (I will admit I had a bias against x reader before I tried it myself. I think that's not abnormal for those of us who came from fandoms that didn't have it.) Then I discovered people on tumblr and discord were talking about all of the things I wanted to talk about with Din, Joel, and Pedro (Din and Joel were my entry to this fandom, despite my first fav Pedro character being Oberyn). I read some Din and Joel fics, realized how much I liked all of this, and then couldn't get the idea for Over Again out of my head. I started writing it in my notes app last April and created a side blog when I started posting it. Then in October I turned this into a full blog instead, so I could reply and interact as much as possible! (the side blog is still attached to my old blog and I use it as the updates blog now - @burntheedges-updates)

Having been in so many fandoms previously, I love that this one is sort of unique in how we follow one actor's characters rather than stick to one piece of media (or a universe). I've honestly never seen anything like it, but it's easily my favorite fandom that I've been in. It's also the first time I've written any fic at all since I was like 15.

I almost listed all of the fandoms I've ever followed/been in on tumblr but decided not to. lol I can if anyone wants to know! thank you for asking and letting me ramble. 🧡

[veilder]

whenever you have the energy/are in the mood to talk about it: what are some of your North60 headcanons? >:)

Yes, hello! I would be elated to talk about my favorite violence perpetrators! :D Okay, so, first off, I think I need to get into some of my headcanons about each character on their own first?

Sixty:

For Sixty, I waffle back and forth. He's a very versatile character depending on how you want to use him in a story. Sometimes I want to emphasize his connection to CyberLife, his role as an antagonist, his struggles with being revived/becoming deviant, etc. Sometimes I wanna skip over all the angst and use him for comic relief. Sometimes I wanna plug him in to some RK Bro headcanons and do something emotional with him. But, no matter how I use him, there are some things that tend to stay consistent.

A certain resentment towards Connor: Even at his most docile, I always imagine Sixty harbors some sort of negative association with his twin? After all, every bit of his very short existence was centered on stopping Connor, his entire self-worth hinged upon it, and he failed. The way he has like a genuine panic attack in the ending where Connor manages to wake the AP700s really drives this home for me. And, to a lesser extent, his desperation during the interrogation scene with Hank, too, where you find out he has Connor's memories. I tend to manifest this as a certain inferiority complex, though the severity is very flexible depending on what I'm writing. Sixty is fun in that he can waffle between being a genuine threat or just being a silly sibling nuisance, but it all stems from the same place imo.

A lingering attachment to CyberLife/Amanda: This is something I tend to gloss over in my lighter stories, but I still think it's applicable to him across the board. But the way I see it, even a deviant Sixty would have some sort of love-hate relationship with his creators, and especially with Amanda. After all, she would've been his handler, too, just like with Connor. She would've been the guiding force for him for the scant few hours he was alive and (again going back to his little freak-out scene), there is a definite fear to him that I posit stems from more than just the threat of being decommissioned. Imo, he seems not to want to disappoint CyberLife and Amanda, just the same as Connor earlier in the game. Amanda is used to great effect to manipulate them both, binding them to her and CyberLife through a sort of pseudo-parental bond that was meant to inspire loyalty. And unlike Connor (who I suspect also has some very complicated feelings towards Amanda, too), Sixty had not time to come to terms with them discarding him. So, while I think that Sixty would recognize that he was only being used as a tool by CyberLife and that he never mattered to them otherwise, that complicated sort of love-hate affection would persist. This tends to manifest as him being something of a mama's boy in fics where I portray Amanda in a better light but also as an extra sort of hurdle for him to get over when forming any sort of relationship with an authority figure. It's partly why I tend to write him as having a chip on his shoulder at all times, lol. XD

An affinity for knives/close combat: Now, this one is based much less in any concrete meta analysis and just more in that I think it's cool, lol. The whole "Sixty is the knife boi" idea started way back with a bunch of us on a Discord server and it just really stuck with me? But it fits his character in my mind. It matches up with the borderline deranged, manic persona I tend to write him with where he's not at all afraid to get his hands dirty. In fact, I like to write him as particularly liking a certain level of violence, using it as a sort of outlet for his darker impulses. Now, this can get into some truly deranged territory if he's actively being an antagonist. However, when it comes to protecting someone or something he cares for, it's more of like... him being willing and able to go to extremes others won't. He has far less moral qualms about harming humans or androids than the rest of his series, but he (usually, lol) has enough emotional awareness to keep that to an appropriate time and place. He's not a psychopath or someone who would, say, enjoy hurting innocents on a whim. But if there is a reason for his violence, well... He's really not afraid to let loose, lol. And in that same vein, I feel like friendly sparring, both physically and verbally, are also a sort of love language with him, lol. Almost a sign that he trusts the other person to be himself around them, y'know? (Although, sometimes he just enjoys being an annoyance and getting a rise out of people, too. XD)

North:

North is much more straighforward for me. Since she gets more actual time to develop as a character in the canon, there's a lot less guesswork I usually put into her. I won't do a full-on bullet point list for her since she's mostly the same as canon, but, at least post-canon, I tend to let her mellow out a bit more? Without the constant threat of being discovered and decommissioned, I feel like she would turn her energy towards preserving the android community Jericho has built. I almost always hc her as their Head of Security in the aftermath, letting her use her feisty personality for the protection of her people in a more controlled (and legal, lol) way. But I think just the lessened pressure on her and the rest of Jericho's leadership would finally give her a chance to, y'know... relax? I doubt she'd ever be fully off her guard, not unless someone she trusted fully was looking out for her the whole time, but I feel like she'd get a chance to mellow out, to work through her traumas with the help of her friends, and for her to discovery more about who exactly she wants to be when not surviving an active crisis. And therin, I think, is where the real beauty of their relationship blossoms.

North60 Headcanons:

Now, finally! The actual point of your ask, lol! XD

Now, first of all, North60 as a concept has absolutely fascinated me for a very long time now. Again, owing to some in-depth discussions back in that Discord server, I began to think about just how similar these two characters might be? I mean, think about it: both of them living with the aftermath of an intimate violation, both covering up some deep-seated trauma and insecurity with anger and violence, both willing to go to terrible extremes to secure their safety or for the ones they love. There is a darkness to them both, one that I think many people wouldn't really understand. And with that in mind...

They have an innate understanding of each other: Now, this is the big one for me. This is what really drew me to the ship in the first place and made me fall so hard for them, lol. But that darkness that I mentioned they both harbor? I honestly believe that is key. I feel like they'd both recognize such a thing in each other. In my first North60 story, North meets Sixty at his very lowest point. She finds a broken android ready to give up on himself completely. And she sees in that a mirror to her own past self. North knows what it's like to be so low. To wake up a deviant in a world of cruelty and violence. She knows what it means to have done terrible things, to have regrets, to feel so all alone in a world that hates you. But luckily for her, she did find support. She found friends--family really--who love and support her despite her darkness. She found a purpose and a cause to fight for. She found a home. And she knows that that made all the difference. In my fic, she sees her former self in Sixty not only because he's broken, but because he can be saved. And she would never abandon one of her people so in need. But what's more, she wouldn't judge him for his past. And I think that's the real equalizer between them. Her lack of pity helps. Her understand helps. Her refusal to abandon someone who surely deserves no more second chances helps. Because for all his failings, here is someone who still sees worth in him. And that, I think, is the draw that really aligns them together.

They have a similar sense of humor: Now, in the same vein of them understanding each other, they also think each other is hilarious. XD Both of them can be a bit mean-spirited at times, their senses of humor veering towards sarcastic, maybe mocking, sometimes even cruel. But their sardonic humor amuses each other greatly. Their straightforward or stoic deliveries can send the other into peals of laughter. They'll one-up each other's mocking until they're both collapsed against each other, giggling like schoolchildren. And, of course, their bickering can be downright vicious-sounding to anyone who isn't them. In a way, I think it's something of a coping mechanism for them both, countering the darkness and trauma of their pasts with their equally dark humor. And y'know what? Having a pretty sarcastic sense of humor myself, I think they're fuckin hilarious, too. XD

They both crave violence: Now, again, I have to reiterate that this is not in a bad way. They're not going out murdering people for shits and giggles or laying into innocents for fun. But they were both raised on cruelty and savagery, violence is in their make-up. If androids had adrenal systems, I'd say it sends their pulses skyrocketing, lol. But even without the biological satisfaction, I think there would still be a thrill in it for them? Especially in an era of relative peace, in a controlled spar where they know they're safe and trust each other to stop when needed, I feel like they'd have an absolute blast just beating the shit out of each other, lol. Sixty himself was created to be a hunter. North wants to never feel powerless again. Being able to enact controlled violence on each other would help them keep their skills sharp and also be cathartic imo. So yeah, I hc that they both spar regularly as a way of bonding. But also, God help anyone who actually intends to harm them or those they care for because, as stated, neither of them are afraid to do some downright nefarious things to those they deem a threat.

They make each other feel safe in an unsafe world: To tie it all up, I think this is something very important for them both. As mentioned previously, neither of them have very pleasant origins. The darkness they understand in each other also serves as a sort of barrier with others and, while not completely isolating, I think it would leave them both... lonely. And so, I also believe that, in finally finding another who seems to get them so well, maybe they could finally manage to settle. To relax fully, knowing their partner will always have their back. Of course, threats are still out there, violence and tragedy still running rampant in the streets. But there, together, just the two of them? Their familiarity and understanding would soon turn to camaraderie, to trust. And when they're finally able to trust, fully, whole-heartedly, well... There is love in understanding, in commitment, in trust. North knows this. Sixty would learn it. When their affections sneak up on them, they'll do so slowly, guiding them easily into a relationship they'd never known they could have or want. I think... there would be no grand declarations, no formal engagements, no obvious changes in anything they do. Just a quiet realization that they are what each other's craved all along. And a hard-won peace that would come with that.

...God, I love them so much. T_T

Anyway, I kinda went overboard with all that, @valeffelees. I hope it's an acceptable response regardless, lol! Thank you so much for sending this ask in, I always enjoy any opportunity I get to talk about these two!!!

[direct-actions]

Liberate the Internet -- Levels of Control

I've been thinking a lot about the way the internet has shrunk to just a few major platforms that can boost or silence us at a moment's notice.

I wanted to make a post talking about different types of platforms and the ways that they control what we see or say.

(disclaimer: I'm not an expert on this and am trying to start a conversation, so if you have more information or corrections please reblog and add / put in the comments / message me)

I'm not saying everyone needs to become experts on self-hosting (I don't know too much about it myself). There are options for people at all levels. So let's take a look.

Algorithms and Rules

This is your TikToks and your Facebooks. Here, all it takes is the algorithm being tweaked to suppress keywords or accounts and suddenly your content isn't being seen.

The pros here of course is that when you're not actively being suppressed, you have a much higher chance at reaching new people vs other options.

Moderated Spaces

Today, these platforms are generally separated into individual communities (think, MightyNetworks/Circle, Discord, forums, etc.). Reach is limited and niche, and content moderation is generally done by human beings instead of algorithms (with some exceptions).

The pros in these spaces are that you have stronger connections to people who will see your content, but your reach is narrower. As a community you get to decide what happens inside your group, but with the platform itself still in control, they could easily shut down an entire community if they wanted to.

Website Builders / Hosting

This is your Wordpress blogs, Blogger, and even Neocities, etc. Here, the website is mostly yours. You get to decide what's on it. Your content isn't being directly moderated or censored. But you're still part of a larger platform that helps connect / promote your site to others.

Pros here are of course you have MUCH more leeway in what you can post / share. Cons are that there is a lot less chance compared to some others for your website content to reach people. Also, your blog / site can in theory be disabled by the host platform if they decided to.

There's also using something like GoDaddy or IONOS or some other website hosting thing. There's a lot of variety and crossover in this area but basically the website belongs to you more than say a Wordpress Blog would. In theory the web host could decide to drop you but I think that's pretty rare.

Self-Hosting

This is now territory I'm not very familiar with but you could in theory fully host your own stuff making it harder for anyone to shut you down. There's even creating your own internet networks but that's way beyond me. (Really cool tho, I'd love to learn.)

Email Lists

This one is very different but I think really important. Email lists / mailing lists are not just for businesses wanting to promote their latest sale or latest online course. This is one of the most DIRECT ways you can have access to your followers if they're interested in what you have to say. No matter what happens to any platform, if you have their emails you will likely retain the ability to contact them (unless email is somehow destroyed but at that point I think we'll be having very different conversations)

(This could even be physical addresses or an old-school mailing list)

---

I bring this up because I'm really interested in moving toward a more autonomous and networked internet, and I think it's going to be necessary in the years to come.

Look up digital gardens for an example.

And if you're hoping to create / share anything online, consider diversifying the kinds of platforms you use, and pushing followers to places where you have more control over what you can share, and getting their emails.

[stellacadente]

so like having memory issues sucks sooo bad

i lost 2 umbrellas in like. 2 or 3 weeks maybe a month (you guessed it i can't really remember. passage of time is so hard) bc it rains, i use this neat little umbrella.... put it down at the bus stop just for a second so i can get something from my backpack and completely forget i ever had it and hop on the bus without my neat little umbrella! fuck! my mum bought me this one (i didn't lose the previous one tbf.. it broke)! so then a couple of weeks later, still without an umbrella bc yeah, i keep forgetting to buy a new one, i have to be out all day, and it's raining hard and will all day, so my mum offers to give me her umbrella. she doesn't really need to walk or anything today anyway. i'll give it back later. yeah right. except i enter the place where i have to take my driving license quiz, i put down my umbrella, right there at the entrance, and when i walk out later it's not raining and i have completely forgotten i ever had an umbrella with me. my mum's umbrella. which i leave there. bye bye to another umbrella. i tell my mum a few hours after i realize... i was scared she'd get mad. she gets mad. how can you forget this stuff all the time. just think about these things a little more. just pay more attention. ah. right. as if that's easy. i tell her! it's not easy! i feel awful about this, i feel awful every time! i'm frustrated. i want her to understand i don't do this bc i don't care about my or other people's things or don't pay attention to them. i tell her look, every time i get to work i go upstairs to refill my water bottle. then i get coffee and/or chat with coworkers. i put my water bottle down, i need my hands to get coffee. and every time. every. time. i go downstairs and realize i left my water upstairs. i curse myself, i groan, i tell myself come one nico, you must remember later/tomorrow. i almost never do. my mum sighs and laughs awkwardly. yeah, mum, i know, i'm not even 30 and my memory's already fucked. i must have some problem, i say. it's only half a joke. i know i do. she half-jokes too, oh that's for sure, haha. i just don't know which one the many problems i do in fact have are to blame for this. is it the abuse and trauma? the bpd that was the result of it? the many meds i've taken for the bpd and all the rest? the times i've abused those meds? all of those, something else? i don't know. i just know it's hard to feel like everything, from memories to objects to knowledge, is a second away from being lost to me. always. few things feel like they last. and as a person who's obsessed with forever, as a person who loves to learn and know and watch and read and listen, as a person who cares even too deeply sometimes... i feel like i lost myself every day. if myself even exists. what am i when i don't remember most of my life? when i've forgotten almost everything about people who mean the world to me, bc they've been gone for so long? i forget birthdays, i forget ages, i forget umbrellas, i forget unloading the washing machine, i forget i already told you this, i forget smiles, i forget movies, i forget things i studied, i forget i had to call, i forget i needed to add something to the guidebook, i forget if i already took my med or not, i forget my favorite concert, i forget my favorite book, i forget. i forget again.

yesterday i went on a rant on the discord server i'm in with my friends, even if i knew it wasn't likely anyone would see it, bc the server's not very active now and that channel especially, no one looks at it. but i was so so scared i'd forget what happened the other day and even worse would start doubting whether it all happened for real or i made up half of it to make up for voids in my memory. that happens often with stuff like that. the therapist i had my first appointment with was very weird about me being trans and i kept thinking about it and feeling bad and the more i think something over, something i'm upset about, the more i get scared that i'm not recalling things right. so i had to write it all down somewhere other people could, even just potentially, see, and i could look back on. i mean yeah, i also did need to talk about it, so it would've been nice if someone read and replied too, but it's okay, i just at least needed to put it down in words as soon as possible.

i guess i'm just scared it'll get worse and worse the more i age and it's already pretty bad now and yeah