#for the future will be FUN but also SCARY bc its like

[acaciapines]

if you're still doing song requests, have you done 125? (also you reminded me about my own daemon aus lol! i should really get back to them soon its just writers block AUGH)

im always open to them! and oooh yeah i feel that </3

125. The Main Character – Will Wood

like stardust pulled apart they enter onto the stage, dragging king in after him because here here here, and their not-heart pounds with the thrill of it all, the bit of golden stringy stardust they twirl around themself, and they have everything, all the stories king’s told them, and there letting go of them they pounce with their chest puffed out.

king pants, slumping. “collector,” he says, waving a paw their way, “can we—stop? for like, one second, i just…i need to catch my breath.”

“but we’re playing owl house!” they clap their hands together with a smushing of sparking stardust, bits of it fizzing and jerking away from king, who is mostly boring, all his stardust. like drab boring limp patterns. “you promised.”

“one second,” king repeats, and they narrow their eyes with a huff, crossing their arms. there’s so much here! so many stories like something fizzing in their chest and king did them all when that stupid fibber luz was with him but they’re here now! better ‘n them and they wanna play, want to grab stardust and send it spiraling all over the world until everything sparks shines shimmers.

“fine,” they bite out, as king clutches his faintly golden rabbit françois to his chest, “but you gotta play it good this time.”

Discussion

collector sketch! this would be early for the future, which. is what im writing next! but yeah, as it stands now--oh the collector has a LOT of feelings right now, and has a lot of Thoughts on stardust (i wonder what that could be?) and the world they've been left.

you might've noticed it but the collector in this au actually has a bit of history with luz and co before getting freed--one of the big changes i made is that the collector is introduced a LOT early bc hes my favorite lol so the kids come across him on titan trapper island! and he joins the crew for a bit.

yes this is one more thing luz blames herself for going wrong. anyway!

the collector is just SUCH a fun character to write, truly. he's trying to understand a world that just does not operate how he thinks it should and hes only had belos for company for so long, and everyone he thinks is his friend is just trying to use him. it does a LOT to a kid, okay.

basically little stardust my most beloved fucked up lil owlbeast. (<- sentences that only make sense to me author of the owl house daemon au. but soon youll see. soon youll all see.)

[toytulini]

thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.

[volfoss]

like... to get an idea of what all id need to do. for anyone curious ig and also to just... totally beat the allegations of yucky little beast:

survey the damage... bc shes obviously in VERY bad shape. so id need to see if i could even get her eyes out or if id maybe. need to dremel into them to get them free so i could start on faceup removal

get the eyes out. this is very scary bc of the hot glue and also the mysterious gray substance. if it IS apoxie sculpt like i think it is then good god. thats going to be the worst 7 bucks ive ever spent or smth

clean the head. im really hoping that its dirt and not.. the alternative on the forehead and other parts of the face. if it IS some mold or fungus, ive got pony experience here (as in. i have dealt with that a few times on MLP) so I'm not... too worried? My guess is its surface level grime that should go away w the faceup being removed.

attempt to remove the faceup. the paint rly looks like it goes ALL the way around her head (poor thang) so ill probably test with acetone at the back of her head. for whatever reason i feel very much like her head has to be fragile so id rather test the more strong/easy to use chemical in a lesser seen spot. i really do not want to be scrubbing with rubbing alcohol for 5 years. bc the faceup looks like at LEAST a few layers of paint with a bad sealant so (as someone whos removed two full body resin paint jobs) i know acetone would be quickest (but alcohol is safest. but we will see)

assess the damage AGAIN. i predict that she is severely yellowed (due to the cracks on the cheek) but the question of if it is either just. in those spots where the faceup cracked or if its all over is really unsure. i mainly want to get her to try retrobrighting (which ive done on older MLP with great success and it seems to be something that works for this kind of vinyl as well) on her and just. fix up a doll that is beyond repair for most people lol. from what ive experienced with resin, i think the yellowing could either be all over (and the head was painted to try and hide this. although this clearly did not go well lol, altho i think its a sealant issue and not a paint issue, as it kind of looks like when ive fucked up with MSC (a common sealant for bjds)) or it could be just... shes been in sunlight and where the paint cracked got unevenly yellowed (i experienced this most recently with my big blue boy, where all the blue paint kind of. protected his resin and the non covered parts got more yellow). so its kind of a toss up. or a mysterious third thing you never know.

once shes all clean (which i assume will take a while due to well... how bad of shape that she is in), ill probably sit with it for a few days and then get milliput and sculpt a new nose. this will not be fun for me i think because I just... am not a sculpting fan (funny thing when this project WILL have a lot of sculpting) and much prefer sanding. I'm not too mad about the chin being sanded down (as the original had an INSANELY pointed chin which I really didn't like. I hate sanding vinyl so this works for me) or the eyes being opened (other than.. having to figure out the size on my own and pray for the best). Most of the mods are not... bad to me and are partially why I'm drawn to miss yucky bc like... the diseases but also the fact that the mods do mostly make the head cuter for me

Redo the faceup. I would love to keep the elements of the original with the big eyelashes as I find them cute, but the BIGGEST order of business is eyebrows good god. I'll have to paint over the mod that I did but I'm not super worried about it (maybe falsely I've never painted a vinyl head in full bc I have exactly one vinyl doll) and then hope i can get the head right on the first try. depending on how bad the yellowing is (and if im able to retrobright her to a lighter skin tone, as the body i have is pretty light (altho it doesnt match any skins from this company so. its a whole thing its ok)) i might just paint the whole head (or even come up with a story or reason why its mismatched. I have a lot of heads and bodies like that so I don't mind fully lol). It's just kind of a scary tossup on how bad of shape everything is.

Done <3 i really dont think itll be TOO bad but i also like... think i wont know fully until i get my hands on her if i do. She would be pretty tiny too (as in 45 cm or so, or for the americans, 1.5 ft) but I do love that scale of doll so. it could work.

[pizzapizzadickz]

I feel a lil bit better today after getting some rest in. I always feel better when I can spend a day at home. I think tomorrow I'll wear my noise cancelling headphones or something so I can chill even more.

...funny how my way to chill is just trying to eliminate all external stimuli

(Pt 1 for description rant)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

i DO think we were kinda robbed tho, in the Vaggie & Carmilla song fight, that lady death ballet herself didn't at one point knock Vaggie's spear out of Vaggie's hand (to FORCE vaggie into thinking more defensively rather than rush in and stabbi-ly) and then have a close up shot of the spear on the floor, right before tippy toe Carmilla deliberately ends her eternal en-point to put her HEEL DOWN on the weapon and trap it there, as a fun and scary visual pun

also can't help imagining a version with an answer to Carmilla letting her hair down at the start of the fight to match with Vaggie...

Carmilla does it to even the odds when Vaggie complains she's not used to fighting with long hair. ooh an answering moment right after the spear one above- where Vaggie shows her shift into taking her own safety SERIOUSLY by pulling off her ribbon and taking the time to tie her hair UP so she ISN'T having to fight with that distraction swinging around

and then she figures out how to block Carmilla's armored kicked unarmed instead of getting her ass kicked trying to charge in

and when Carmilla backs her up the stairs and into the second landing balconies (bc vaggie is RETREATING she's being CAREFUL of herself) one last kick is about to connect with Vaggie's head and she's got no more room left to retreat to and she's singing about wanting to fight with love so she can be around to PROTECT the people SHE loves-

bam new wings reveal flap backwards off the railing into open air and out of danger

VAGGIE LOSING HER WINGS FOR NOT KILLING<-

->GETTING THEM BACK WHEN SHE INTERNALIZES THE HEY MAYBE NOT WANTING TO GET KILLED HERSELF EITHER BC HOW WILL SHE BE THERE FOR THE WOMAN SHE LOVES IF SHE MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMS INTO A STUPID CORPSE????

like it's a perfectly good fight scene as is and gets the idea across later in vaggie's fight with lute but hhhhhrrrg i just, look at the other song moments the show has, all the set movements and character moments THEY get, and im like

LET CARMILLA BEAT VAGGIE UP IN EXTRA DRAMATIC MODE

i KNOW we have to fit in an important flashback in too but GODS PLEASE!!! I LOVE WOMEN FIGHTING WOMEN!!!!!

carmilla please beat vaggie up some more in the future or i'll shrivel up pls im sure vaggie would have fun with it too she supposedly loves dancing

AND aDD CHARLIE TO THIS!!! Vaggie could call the fights "dance lessons" and Charlie could be SO happy hearing that, SO delighted her gf is getting a new none-business none-trauma hobby at last, Charlie being SO SO SO supportive of it and watching the hotel alone some afternoons to make SURE Vaggie has time away from work for her dancing

(the same way charlie has father-daughter catch up dates with her dad shhh it's happening don't tell me its not)

BUT THEN Charlie drops by a 'rehearsal' once as a surprise (she brought donuts!!) and freaks the FUCK out (donuts flying Everywhere) bc the "Dancing" is just Vaggie grinning as she gets smacked around the Carmine compound, helping test out WHICH weapons work BEST against angels while honing her own new not-dying instincts as Carmilla kinda tries to kill her a little. for science

until charlie walks in on it and almost sets the compound full of live ammunition crates on fire

to make up for this horrible surprise, Charlie makes Vaggie promise her they'll start going to ACTUAL dance lessons together <3

AND she threatens Carmilla into designing some angelic steel practice armor for gf becaue oh hell no, oh fuck this, oh absoLUTELY charlie is getting NO sleep otherwise after walking in on THAT

pls pls pls and let vaggie be winged this time for the fight toooo, i wanna see some deadly anti-air ballet jumps :(

[yuukei-yikes]

i extended on something i wrote months ago in the subject of shinene codependency (and shinaya breakup) but its hidden in a Much longer post under a read more so i wanted to make it into its own post for my kagenalysis tag❤️:

to rant a bit abt the "personal narrative" of shintaro. i think it's interesting that shintaro is essentially a very self centered character and kagepro is very meta in the way it treats him as a main character. because inside of kagepro, he really gets as much focus as any other character, they're all "main" character to us. its rather inside the story he plays a very important role therefore he is the protagonist and as the protagonist he puts an end to the story itself too. i think this is all interesting together and fun to dissect shintaro's character as inherently self centered because that's what the story is. the initial premise is that he's a depressed guy living in regret he used to be "such a bad person" to someone he cared deeply about.

his self centeredness shows not only in the way he acts even without retaining activated, but he is really in the center of it. shintaro IS the protagonist and deep down even if he hasn't remembered yet, he knows that. so does everyone else. they all know they depend on him, sooner or later.

and i like to think of all this in a post str context thinking that the way he handles all that in everyday life once this story is over and theyre free from a narrative in the first place, is self destructive because its not compatible to being a normal person. he's a protagonist but there's nothing to be a protagonist OF anymore

so it IS taking him a bit to really LOOK at his friends and stop looking only for himself. technically he's lived a hundred doomed lives and now he's here trying out this one and again it is scary and new and... ene, who's been the most dedicated to centering her life around shintaro, is a clear safe place while navigating this.

he takes takane totally for granted because of this. in the narrative she has always been his sidekick. she has been the second main character to him. she has always lived and served him in all timelines, in all the time theyve known each other that she can't remember and he can, takane has been more ene than she's been takane to him, and ene has always been his annoying lap dog he hates as much as he needs in order for the story to move forward. takane of course reciprocrates the dynamic because it's also all she's known for a year. but... it's a year, vs. shintaro's God Knows How Many resets.

so eventually... as she is free from the narrative and very much her own person outside of him, capable of finding love and priorities somewhere else away from him and OUT LOUD tackling issues like hey we have a codependent dynamic going on we should work on, bc she does normal people stuff like going to therapy, takane moves on. which is mind blowing for shintaro AND HE DOESNT LIKE IT

he shuns it completely whenever takane brings it up, which she does a lot as time goes on. because time keeps going on. it keeps passing by. and everyone around him seems to be growing up and that's so infuriating and so terrifying and then stuff like ayano dating him and dumping him is as much of a reality check as ayano being alive in the first place, and he doesn't know what to do with it other than cry and thrive off the attention takane gives him again upon seeing him broken again.

he's in PAIN but it's familiar. it's comfortable. it's classic. it works. because the story he was a protagonist of was a tragedy, so he doesn't know how to behave when there is hope in the future. ❤️

[solitaireships]

Cultural Reconnection

Happy Lunar New Year! To celebrate, I wanted to do a little selfship fic, and I decided with this one to do a modern AU focused on Helena and Chae-Yeong, partially bcs they have the same backgrounds as me with that so I know a little more about Seollal (Korean new year) things from my irl attempts to connect more with my culture

Full disclosure here, like Helena and Chae-Yeong, a lot of what I know about Seollal celebrations are things that I have recently taught myself from doing research online. This may not be a 100% accurate with how things are celebrated, and if it's not, I would appreciate anyone who knows more giving feedback! While it won't change things with this fic, bcs they also are still learning how to celebrate this properly, it'd help me out with my future LNY celebrations

Rating: Gen

Genre: Fluff

Words: 2325 words

Divider by saradika

Helena doesn’t cook very often. It’s not that she’s a bad cook, but with her and Chae-Yeong both hating being in the kitchen with other people, Chae-Yeong tends to be the one to make dinner more often than not. Helena figures that with how much food they’ll need for tonight’s Seollal celebrations, though, she could handle the majority of the cooking. 

As she cooks, Helena’s in new hanbok that Chae-Yeong had bought for this. She’s had to be careful with it— the last thing she wants to do is stain the light green and pink fabric making up the layers of her clothes. Her hanbok’s chima is longer than any of the dresses or skirts she usually wears, but she likes the way it moves around her as she walks around the kitchen.

In some ways it feels like she’s not supposed to be wearing this— her grandmother never passed on much information about Korean culture to Helena or her mother beyond the food. But she’s worn hanbok before, and she reminds herself that this is a part of her culture, even if it’s something she grew up disconnected from. 

It helps that Chae-Yeong’s in a similar boat to Helena. Both of them are a quarter Korean, both of them didn’t get many cultural things passed down to them, and both of them look white. Helena is used to feeling out of place everywhere she goes, never really feeling like she belongs to any community fully. But with Chae-Yeong, she actually feels like she’s not alone. 

Trying to fill the many gaps in her knowledge of Korean culture is more fun with Chae-Yeong, though. That’s another thing that makes Helena feel less alone, less like she’s an imposter and doesn’t really count as Korean. And as Helena finishes up making their rice cake soup hopes that she’s able to make Chae-Yeong feel the same way. 

“The soup is done, starlight!” Helena calls. 

“Smells good,” Chae-Yeong says, coming into the kitchen with a bottle of sparkling cider in hand. She looks pretty in hanbok— she's dressed in has a bright red skirt and a black jeogori. The silver and pink norigae she’s wearing is a nice touch too with its butterfly charm, standing out from the rest of the outfit.

Helena thinks this look suits her well. Her hanbok even matches with the red and black paint along her prosthetic arm and leg. It seems to match her perfectly, and is a good reminder to Helena of just how pretty her wife is. 

“Thanks,” Helena says. “Did you get the rest of the table set up?”

“Mhm.” Chae-Yeong sets the bottle down on the counter, digging through their drawers to find a bottle opener. “We’ll just need to get the last of the hot stuff plated, then everything will be ready.”

Helena turns off the stovetop. “Great. I’m hungry after cooking all day.”

“I’m sure it’ll all taste amazing, yeobo,” Chae-Yeong says. “Do you want me to help plate stuff?”

“If it won’t make you annoyed,” Helena replies, half teasing. 

Chae-Yeong rolls her eyes but smiles. “Putting food on plates and cooking are too different things. And it’s not like you’re better.”

“I’m not. But it’s always good to be safe, you can get scary when you feel like it.”

“I don’t get scary.”

“Yeah, you do.” Helena nudges Chae-Yeong’s side as she walks past with a plate of bulgogi. “You look pretty like that, though.”

Chae-Yeong laughs, pausing the process of scooping some rice from their rice cooker to look at Helena. “You’re the only person in the world who could think I’m attractive when I’m mad.”

“Mhm, which is part of why I’m very lucky to have married you,” Helena says. 

Chae-Yeong gives her one last little affectionate look before they both go back to plating their food. It’s a lot of work to do, but between the two of them, they’re able to get the job done quickly. Helena switches to bringing plates over to the table, doing what she can to remember where everything is supposed to be placed.

This isn’t like her and Chae-Yeong’s normal dinner arrangements. They have food set up practically covering every inch of it. At one end of the table is a collection of fruits such as Asian pears and apples, with a row of vegetables set up on plates behind it. The third row at the back of the table is where they set up their bowls of rice along with plates full of japchae and bulgogi. There’s a spot near the middle of that back row for the rice cake soup which Chae-Yeong brings in in two large bowls. Behind the table is a folding paper screen, one set up there especially for today. They’ve also set up a candle on either side of the table’s middle row, which Helena lights as she waits for Chae-Yeong.

It’s a lot of food for the two of them to eat. Far more than they’d usually prepare. Helena’s never been a big eater, and just looking at everything laid out in front of them is almost intimidating. 

The food isn’t all for them, though. This year they’re trying something new. A part of Seollal is honoring ancestors with charye rites, and this year they’ll be making their first attempt at performing that. 

Preparing an offering table was Helena’s idea. She wasn’t sure how Chae-Yeong would feel about it. Chae-Yeong’s relationship with her family was never a good one, and if she didn’t want to be part of the charye rites, Helena would have understood. Only Chae-Yeong’s biological father even seemed remotely worth honoring. Maybe none of Helena’s ancestors are either— her relationship with her maternal grandparents had been tense for years, and she doesn’t know much about any of her relatives beyond her grandparents. 

But this is something that’s part of most celebrations of Seollal, and Helena wants to try this at least once. Chae-Yeong agreed to this too, and if nothing else Helena will be glad that she gets to do this with her wife. They had to make some substitutions, though— Helena read that alcohol is usually offered to ancestors, but neither of them drink so instead they opted for a sparkling cider. Incense is also used for charye rites too, but the smell makes Helena feel sick so instead they have a reed diffuser set up on the table by the vegetables. 

“Are you ready to do the honors?” Helena asks as Chae-Yeong comes to rest her head on her shoulder.

“If you are,” Chae-Yeong says. “I’m still not sure I’m the best one to be handling this, though. There wasn’t a ton of information about what I’m supposed to be doing online.”

“You’ll do great,” Helena promises, reaching back to give her wife’s hip a quick squeeze.

Chae-Yeong takes a deep breath. It’s rare that she’s ever nervous, but that she’s clearly worried about this is a sign of just how much it matters to her. This is a part of her culture too, a part that neither of them are experienced with. They both want to get this right. 

Knowing Helena’s not alone in this is nice. 

But it’s also nice seeing the way any nerves fade away as Chae-Yeong begins performing the charye rites. She pulls a piece of prayer written in Korean from one of the pockets built into her skirt, placing it on the table before calling out towards their ancestors in a greeting, welcoming them to the table. She’s always been good at coming off as confident even when she’s new to something, and she looks like she’s done this a thousand times as she pours a cup of sparkling cider as an offering. She places a pair of chopsticks on the plate of bulgogi and leaves a spoon in one of the rice bowls. 

Chae-Yeong moves to move the paper screen, unfolding it more so it hides the table from view. Her skirts rustle around her as she makes her way back to Helena. 

“Alright, we’ll have to step out for a bit now,” Chae-Yeong says.

Helena nods and lets her wife lead the way out of the dining room and into their living room.

“Are we supposed to just sit in silence while the ancestors eat?” Helena asks as she closes the door behind her.

“I don’t know, I couldn’t find anything about that when I was figuring this out,” Chae-Yeong admits. She takes a seat on the couch. “I’d say we try to be quiet just to be safe. That feels more ceremonial.”

“Okay.”

Helena sits down next to Chae-Yeong. She doesn’t usually like sitting around in silence for a long time— her mind wanders easily, and usually it wanders towards rumination and everything in her life that’s stressing her out. But with Lunar New Year on her mind, she finds her thoughts going to better things for once.

She wonders what her great-grandparents would have thought of her and Chae-Yeong. She never met them, and she never heard stories about them either. There are no puzzle pieces for her to put together, there’s no story she can create from scraps of information. Most of her family tree is a mystery to her even as she honors them. 

But Chae-Yeong’s not a mystery at all. Helena knows how to read her unlike anyone else, knows every single one of her little quirks by heart. She’s someone who makes sense, and Helena’s always grateful for their similarities. She makes life so much better for her, and she hopes that regardless of who her great-grandparents or even her great-great-grandparents were, they’d at least be proud of her for finding someone she can be herself around. Maybe they’d be proud of her for reconnecting with her roots, for trying to follow cultural traditions even if it took her a long time to do so. 

Family is weird, and it’s complicated, but Helena hopes that there’d be someone in Chae-Yeong’s family that’s happy for her too. And if no one else is, then Helena will be proud of her for them. 

The five minutes they’re away from the dining room pass quickly. Chae-Yeong’s leg brushes against Helena, getting past her skirt so that she can feel the plastic of her prosthetic foot brushing against Helena’s lower leg. 

Chae-Yeong breaks the silence with a cough. “We’re good to head back in.”

Helena gets up first, waiting a second for Chae-Yeong to get up after her. She stretches as she gets up, making a soft grunting noise.

Nothing’s different as the two of them make it back into the dining room, though Helena feels like it should be. She hopes that this is what they’re supposed to be doing, as Chae-Yeong makes her way to the table again. She moves to put the folding screen back in its original position, revealing the table again. She goes to take the chopsticks from the bulgogi, then the spoon from the rice bowl.

“We’re supposed to bow four times now,” Chae-Yeong says as she rejoins Helena. “It’ll help send the ancestors back to the spirit world.”

Helena hums in response, taking four deep bows along with Chae-Yeong. She hopes that if anyone is watching from the other side, they appreciate the food she and Chae-Yeong prepared for them. 

Chae-Yeong strides over to the table again, now taking the written prayer from it and burning it over the candle. The ashes fall down onto the table, and Helena notes that next year they should use a tablecloth. 

“Okay,” Chae-Yeong says. “Since we don’t have any ritual things outside of that prayer, I think that’s about it aside from eumbok.”

“Great,” Helena says. Now it’s her turn to step up to the table.

It’s hard to say if that’s what the ceremony was supposed to be like when she has no frame of reference for it. Now that it’s over, she can’t help but worry that they did this wrong. She heard that people usually eat dried fish for Seollal— they didn’t have any of that, maybe that means the food offerings aren’t right. And they might not have done the ceremony itself right either, it was hard trying to find resources online about how to do this. She knows that she’s probably being irrational, and she’s probably holding herself to too high standards, but worry still eats at her. 

“I think we might be doing this wrong,” Helena says, frowning down at the table. 

“Maybe,” Chae-Yeong replies. Her arms wrap around Helena’s waist as she hugs her from behind. “But I like trying this with you.”

Helena can’t help but smile at that. “Yeah. I like it too.”

It’s not perfect. Helena knows it never will be, no matter how much she wishes she could push everything into place. But she thinks she can be content with imperfection if Chae-Yeong is. 

So she leans back to give Chae-Yeong a quick kiss on the cheek.

“How about we go ahead and eat, then?” she suggests.

“Sounds good.”

As they sit down at a corner of the table, Helena looks at all of the food laid out before them. It’s impressive to think about how much they managed to make in one day, and even if things aren’t perfect, Helena thinks now that she’s happy with how things turned out. They’re definitely going to have a lot to eat, though, and she’s sure they’ll be eating leftovers for a long time after this. 

Helena takes a slice of Asian pear, offering it to Chae-Yeong. She takes it between her teeth, biting off a piece with an affectionate look at Helena. 

She’s lucky to be going into this new year with Chae-Yeong. Everyday with her is a gift. And Helena hopes that when they eat their rice cake soup, symbolizing growing a year older with the lunar new year, this will be one of many more years spent together.

[rollercoasterwords]

hiiiiii how are u hope u are doin good :-)

i remember how once you said something about the ending of the hand that feeds being based on reproductive futurism (? and i thought that sounded really interesting so i looked it up but. okay. maybe i am just a little bit dumb but i could not connect the two concepts at all + also i am interested in hearing your thoughts about how the ending ties into that idea so if u WANT to ramble or even talk briefly about that i would personally be very interested in reading if not please feel free 2 simply ignore this ask i will not be even a little bit offended i promise :-)

anon i am literally kissing u on the mouth for giving me an excuse 2 break out my edelman slideshow!!!!!! ok buckle up i'm gonna put this all under a cut but here's how i broke down edelman's theory of reproductive futurity + ethical queerness when i was an undergrad ta:

first of all u are NOT dumb edelman is just really fucking boring and his writing is SUPER dense and full of all these references to psychoanalytic and postmodern theorists so u need like. a ton of background knowledge 2 even engage w it. it literally broke my brain trying 2 understand 'no future' the first time i read it so i am HAPPY 2 explain it in a way that's easier 2 understand bc it's not actually all that scary + complicated!!

first off - important words to know. most of this is edelman drawing on those postmodernists + psychoanalysts i mentioned earlier, so it gets confusing if u haven't encountered any of it before. but basically: the Real is like...true reality. the thing that's actually at the center of all life + society, which is actually nothing, bc it's all just meaningless chaos. we live in a random and unfeeling universe! hooray!

the Symbolic is humans' response to that meaningless chaos - an attempt to assign meaning to life by constructing symbolic structures of meaning. think about things like law, religion, politics -- all structures by which we assign meaning and understand the world, which are really covering the fact that there is no real, pre-existing Meaning in the world. it's all made up by humans. fun!

the Death Drive is a product of humans creating the Symbolic. bc we're all basically playing a big game of pretend where we act like the Symbolic has real meaning and try to ignore the chaos of the Real, we all feel an internal urge (the Death Drive) towards the Real, an internal urge to tear down the Symbolic covering the Real and embrace the chaos at the center

Jouissance is a manifestation of the death drive; essentially pure pleasure without any meaning. because it refuses meaning, it forces a confrontation with the Symbolic by highlighting the fact that the Symbolic is constructed and not real.

here's my little chart trying to illustrate all that lol. the Symbolic covers/hides/obscures the real and in the process claims that it is true reality. however it cannot eliminate the Real at its core, out of which grows the Death Drive, which manifests as Jouissance.

so here's the breakdown of what edelman is saying about all this. basically, all society is contrived social structures which insist they are not constructed, and all those social structures are grounded in Reproductive Futurism: an imagined future in which we just repeat the past ("the good old days" mentality, if you will) to continue to uphold our Symbolic structures

within reproductive futurism, there are two important figures: the Child and the Queer.

now, we aren't talking about actual children or queer people here. we're talking about the idea of The Child, the idea of The Queer. we're talking about them as figures, with figural roles.

the figural role of the Child is to uphold reproductive futurism. we're told we need to uphold the past (Symbolic structures) in the imagined future for the sake of our children. just think about how basically all politics positions itself as "think of the kids!!!!" while simultaneously hurting real-life children - perfect example in what's going on w trans legislation in the u.s. right now, where politicians are banning gender-affirming care for imagined, theoretical children who might one day regret it, but ignoring real-live trans kids who beg them to stop. politics isn't about children, it's about The Child

the figural position of the Queer, on the other hand, is to oppose/threaten reproductive futurism. an important note here - edelman isn't talking about queerness in terms of gender or sexuality or identity; he's talking about it as a structural position that threatens reproductive futurity. because we need an excuse to protect the figural Child--a threat to rail against, in order to make all our politics and Symbolic structures necessary--the Queer is ironically produced by the same systems that claim they want to destroy it, a chronic threatening figure so that politicians (and anyone invested in upholding the Symbolic) can point the finger and go "see!! look how the Queer threatens the Child!! we need [x oppressive law/structure/etc] to protect the Child!!!!"

so--within this context, edelman suggests that there is, essentially, a more and less ethical way to be Queer. an ethical Queer, according to edelman, embraces their figural status as oppositional to the Symbolic. rather than going "omg noooo i'm not a threat" the ethical Queer goes "yeah fuck your Symbolic i'm gonna kick and scream and wreck shit and make sure you never forget how contrived it all is!!" however, edelman also stipulates that an ethical Queer does not try to escape the Symbolic; an ethical Queer isn't trying to rebuild any new society, bc to do so would inevitably result in the same structural creation of a Real, a Symbolic, reproductive futurism, and the figural position of the Queer. the ethical Queer knows there's no way to escape the Symbolic, and because of that the figural position of the Queer will always exist, so rather than trying to assimilate to the norm and abandon that figural position, an ethical queer accepts and embraces it.

^ an ethical queer refuses to deny the Death Drive and pretend that the Symbolic (all our nice, contrived social structures) are anything but a flimsy veil over the Real

^ in this way, edelman's theory is a fundamentally negative one. it isn't hopeful or positive; it doesn't imagine a better future--because to imagine a future at all is to inevitably fall back into the trap of reproductive futurity

this sort of concludes the summary on edelman, so it's usually where i ask if there are any questions etc. so. feel free 2 send me another message if any of this was confusing!! i am happy 2 elaborate

the next part of the slideshow is a film analysis of megamind using edelman's theories--unfortunately there's a 10-image limit on mobile so i can't fit it all here. it's just an example meant 2 ground the theory a little and show how it can be applied to ur own outlook/analysis/thinking irl--if u want it, lmk + i'll make another post, but otherwise this is the end of my reproductive futurity crash course!! hope u enjoyed <3

[tokillamockingbird427]

i wholeheartedly agree with ur response to my previous ask, especially with the trilingual and accent one. i imagine its like a somewhat thick-ish accent too that they have (rorke’s is probably more light than logans), since portuguese and spanish are probably the more dominant languages than english. (mainly my hc/theory bc of the fed that was stuttering in spanish and english before keegan killed him during the ajax mission but that’s somewhat irrelevant).

now adding onto ur trilingual hc(?), i imagine logan forgetting certain words and his mind goes absolutely blank in trying to find what the fuck the word is in any of the languages hes fluent in. (example: “i think he went to the… eh…“) and yes, this 100% applies to rorke, and if not the old man is probably WORSE. but unlike logan, rorke is way more fluent in english, as logan cant hold an entire conversation without speaking in either the other two dominant languages. of course though, i would like to think this is when logan decides to speak, because i feel like hes more of a “i hate people so i don’t talk” but is compassionate type of guy. (totally not cause we dont hear the man speak because of the silent protagonist era..)

im not sure what hesh’s(specifically) and the other ghosts reaction would be besides surprised pikachu, “he forgot english? we took THAT long???”, or “what the fuck did rorke DO.”, but im sure itd be something funny or angsty. as hesh and logan in your hc(that i adore cause it honestly suits them) are mixed and dont have that strong of an accent, the accent change from logan when he decides to talk would probably make hesh feel sad in a way, knowing he took too long to find logan before he 1) develops an accent, 2) is now trilingual, and 3) most likely doesn’t remember him or really any of the ghosts if we take that route of angst.

bonus again in favor of your lovely bonus: rorke and logan would absolutely make fun of eachother when they forget a word. (it would also be funny if its other feds who join in but they’re all probably scared of both or they all also deal with the same problem… but they might..)

and i’ll definitely send more asks in the future regarding similar topics like these or hcs in general! :)

— random anon

Logan frustrated to tears because he's gotta sort through three languages to find one word (Four if you include american sign, ASL, headcanon.) when he doesn't even like speaking. He'd make some bad joke about it being the reason he doesn't talk a lot, it's too much work when he can just stand there looking scary and let Rorke do his monologues.

Pls, calling Rorke an old man. I forget he's older than Elias because he really does NOT act like it. They gave him eternal youth in the pit or something because how the fuck was he getting his ass whooped like he was and shaking it off? (Au perhaps, curse of immortality?)

I HC that Logan's selectively mute (as do a few moots of mine) so to me it's not that he hates talking to people, it's just that speaking verbally makes him majorly uncomfortable. So instead he communicates through different avenues. Like writing things to be read, or signing, and even letting Hesh do all the talking for him. (One he uses the most, because it's easiest. Which can be used for angst when Logan then refuses to have Hesh talk for him post pit/beach EHEHHEHE.) He is absolutely so compassionate tho, I love that, I adore giving him a really big heart. Makes the angst where he's cold and angry so much more painful! :D (<- The face of a man who suffers under his own hand)

Oh the angst of the Ghosts being forced to face how much time has passed when they meet Logan again and he's changed so radically his primary language is no longer his "mother tongue." (mother tongue being spanglish, new primary being solely spanish.) Even outside a full "Amnesic Logan" au there'd still be things he'd forget and that is some good angst to explore. Hells yeah.

Hah, Logan and Rorke bullying the shit out of a each other. "Oh you stopped in the middle of your monologue, what was that? Forgot the word did you?" "Stfu that was a dramatic pause." "More like an awkward pause." "I'm gonna put you back in the pit blondie I stg." "Try me you bald bitch." (Subordinates too scared to tell if they're joking with each other or serious)

Can't wait to get more asks from you, I love it :D

[icarusgf]

this was my 1st yr going to pride bc im finally not at home for the summer nd i only went to the big parade and mostly watched but literally walking around this wknd there were soo many events and markets and the train/buses were so packed w ppl very obviously dressed for pride events and last night i saw soo many ppl lining up at gay bars looking soo happy w their friends in their beautiful outfits casually walking thru the streets and like ugh this is literally . what it means to grow up huh. its soo scary to think im halfway thru college but stuff like this makes me realize there is a beautiful future waiting 4 me after that . hopefully in a few junes i will also be awith my friends in a beautiful city wearing rainbows all wknd clubbing nd having fun

[applestruda]

Hi! I'm going around asking about 5llsmp...

What are you most excited for in the smp? What are you least excited for? How lore heavy do you expect the smp to be? Do you expect to create much for it (drawings, headcanons, etc)?

I feel like I've already sent you an ask, but I can't remember so I'm sending this one in case I haven't

obwbofjewbfowe yeah you did send an ask already, but its fun, ill just answer this one

im most excited to just like, play with cool moots tbh, and well, im least excited for when things spiral like life series always do,, just thinking its gonna be a lil bit stressful (I also am so stressed about maybe being boogey,, so scary).

Idk how lore heavy everything will be, I probably won't lore much just bc im still pretty awkward and all,, but others might and i'm excited for that, especially all the cool fic writers on the server

When we started the server I didn't really expect myself to do much art,, but, well,, I already love the lads of the valley so it might be hard not to draw more of them in the future

[wirtsroom]

a digital circus review but its kind of long and complainy lmfao

tldr: i wish it was good but i didnt like it, may hold hope for the future episodes

okay so. ive been semi following digital circus for a while cuz like. i like gooseworx' stuff! shes got a good flow, sense of style, yadda yadda. and same goes for kevins stuff too!! when they released the mini trailers i was intrigued!

but like. the pilot is. okay how do i start this

the plot: i know its just the pilot, but its really showing its cards way too early and completely unsubtle. its supposed to be all "ahhh ur in the pc scary!" but its so hamfisted in its existential delivery we cant even begin to immerse in the world. like. we have an interesting premise of being in an environment akin to early pc games for kids! theres a whole fun circus! but rarely in the episode do we go for a romp in those ideas, rather we are all just "oh no were all crazy here. mwahahahah" and thats BORINGGGGG. the pacing feels also way to fast for us to truly be unsettled. bam, youre here, the clowns evil, youre in the backrooms or whatever, done. it goes too fast and shows too many ideas at once to be honest.

the characters: theyre standard as far as 00s inspired characters go. they all fit a certain trope in modern psychological horror and nothing is left to the imagination really. jax is your bitchboy tumblr fave, pomni is the fish out of water, ragatha has to be the Nice One, zooble is. well she was there. the fucking chess piece guy was there to allude to viewers the horrors or whatevr and then the comedy face character is just for comic relief. while again this IS a pilot, i have no idea how these characters will be you know. interesting to the plot. like jax is going to just be the depressed self aware guy i can see that but is there anything else he can give? do we have interesting connections to these characters? will any of them have thematic pieces for their designs? I dont know i want them to hit but they feel kind of surface level with little allusion.

the aesthetic: sorry im kind of a cunt for this THEY ARE NOOOT USING THE SETTING TO ITS MAXIMUM POTENTIAL!!!!! THE WHOLE PC GAME THING IS JUST SET DRESSING AND LITTLE ELSE!!!! LIKE "OHHH ARENT YOU SCARED BC THIS IS THE HAPPY PLACE WHEN ITS EVIL?" LIKE COME ON!!! WHERES THE JANK! WHERES THE WEIRD PUZZLE GAMES! DOES NOBODY HERE ASIDE FROM THE RINGMASTER DO ANYTHING? WHY IS IT SO HUGE? and also the animation is. kind of now clashing witht the style. Like not really- obviously all the directors on the animation aspect ARE talented, have industry level experience, but its smooth and modern approach sort of makes the setting even less connected. and in some cases the intentional breakage can be really good!!! but it feels too polished, too clean for its chosen period.

an aside?: i dont know see cuz it has a good idea! horror set within my moms old pc, but it doesnt want to even test out a twist or anything. Everyone here is trapped, everyone is crazy, theres liminal spaces, its all stuff i come to expect with an analog themed horror series, and its horror is very minimal. it has no grip on anything, it just wnats to make you feel sad for pomni and go Oh no isnt it scary? Awww nooo scary void wahh! Like it feels almost on the nose, too empty and too big to really utilize it. also im salty theyre selling 40 dollar tshirts for a pilot like. come on

but yeah i didnt. i dont know as i try to remember it now i cant think of anything that stood out. sure it was pretty looking but nothing horrific is staying with me at all. and AGAIN it IS just a pilot!!!!! things can change!!! i might be wrong!!!! but i dont see any horror in the stuff they are providing me bc it feels too safe

[iwaasfairy]

Fae fae when did you learn to draw digital? Like do you have any tips I’ve been practicing but honestly it’s so hard haha

I remember sometime early 2021 I think you did a lot of haikyuu art and it was amazingggg wow

-🪐 anon

fAE FAE pLS dgusgfus I LOVE THAT??? heLP but uhmm honestly i think the main reason why my art looks better now is because i've been practicing my basics a lot? and like, its a constant battle to get better and hate your old art yk,, but i'm glad i did it and i can't wait to see how much i'll improve in the future! BUT! as for practicing tips, i would recommend splitting up exactly what you want to tackle first.

digital drawing is a very different skill than sketching. coloring is a very different skill. backgrounds are a skill in itself. drawing bodies,, etc etc etc,, and it was really frustrating to draw sometimes bc it feels like they all go hand in hand? but splitting them up and practicing solely on that- can really help make it feel more doable yk

also drawing on paper is v helpful to me personally. get urself a practice sketchbook, even tho they are two separate skills they kinda are tied together. if you improve one it will also show in the other

and yEA i did do some art in 2021 that i was really proud of. but i do gotta say looking back, those arts took me like 72 hours and so much references that it always felt extremely overwhelming and scary to draw. i like them a lot still, but i dont remember finding it very fun to draw back in 2021

and sometimes it's embarrassing for me to look back at old art and not shudder in shame, but the fact is,, that i was happy with my drawings back when i made them. he reason i'm not happy with them anymore is bc i've practiced, and become better, yk? for fuck sake, atsuko used to look like this (left) and now he looks like that (right)

be a little kind to yourself. it's hard to admit that you can be good at and suck at something at the same time. your improvement will be directly linked to how often you can stomach to be bad at something tbh hahahah i stopped coloring the way i used to in 2021 because i loved doing it but i actually sucked at it. and im still in the middle of practicing coloring, and most of what i draw is ugly and i hate it,, but thats okay. i hopefully will find value in it once i start noticing some improvement

anyway sorry for the ramble the point is, find your weak points and target them. and then, practice. practice practice practice. dont believe these tiktok artists who say "oh i started drawing in 2021" and bust out the most amazing portraits in the history of ever. that isn't the reality for most people;

[lethalbreadkills]

so much zonic. these are all minorly incoherent buuuut yeah. reading forward please remember almost all of this is based on a roleplay me n my friends have been working on for a while now :)

regular ass no zone

pretty much the no zone is the multiverse prison- with cops to match. their zone (the universes) runs parallel to all other zones, so yeah they walk on walls its fun

HOWEVER the no zone is. well. its fucked up. dystopian cyberpunk future setting, with extreme technological advances and surprisingly enough /s, mass amounts of corruption. most of the content we see revolves around the no zone prison, which is where multiversal delinquents and criminals are kept. zonic is one of the highest ranking officers, and elite zone cop, and he watching all of the zones on tiny screens in a large room. he spends his life watching the lives of other sonics, seeing what he can never have. hes canonically 17 btw. just thought that was important to note.

one of the biggest issues we see in the comics is the warden (zobotnik) being a magnum cunt as per usual. hes the source of the corruption we see in comic, preferring violent methods of rehabilitation of the prisoners that generally dont actually work. theres a small program in place run by the therapist, zouge, to try and change the way rehabilitation is handled, actually trying to help the prisoners instead of torturing them and going yeah that works. at least in the universe me oat and jove have going, zouge is quite literally being blackmailed into continuing to work there with her life, with her having many cybernetic augmentations due to what would have been a fatal injury. zonic has depression. zouge also has depression. fun fact the no zone canonically clips scourges quills down to a very unhealthy length and theres not enough room in zonics uniform for him to have proper quills so he also has trimmed quills. theyre trimmed in the actual worst way possible (an electric razor) and thus dont grow back properly. more on that later anyways the only reason hedgehogs are even allowed to have quills as long as they do (which is still far too short) is because zonic straight up had an anxiety attack in the middle of a mission

(not fun)

also blackmail is a common thing, with zobotnik using plenty to keep ZONIC working as well, seeing as hes been working there SINCE he was nine (this is extremely illegal but no one gives a shit soooo :// oh well), with a big one being shit like "what would your father think?" (zules was an elite zone cop and died in action), and also the fact that due to beginning working when he was a child, he has no fucking clue what his rights are and thus works... whenever they tell him to. which is usually. he has no fucking friends and the closest he has is literally watching other sonics lives and getting attached to them as characters but not as people. because. he just,, watches their lives and interferes when shit gets too fucked. not good

scary current(ish) stuff

CURRENTLY in the roleplay (and im only explaining this so that the next section makes more sense.

currently, zonic has been fired (due to him using the favt he is a child (among many other reasons lmao) to get zobotnik out of power. it worked, but now hes out of a job bc...of his own reasoning. hes a child.) and is living in the prime zone for a bit. scourge has already been manipulated by mephiles (before and during getting KIDNAPPED) and then after as well) and offers to talk to mephiles so that he has a job to do

(zonic has gone so long being told what to do he longer knows how to function without it, so he readily agrees, happy to be obedient once again)(its kind of a coping mechanism. he has Issues)

so he and scourge are both helping mephiles whilst being manipulated by him. they arent aware.

of course this all comes to a head and goes way fucking wrong- but. well. thats a story for another time.

mephiles goes into hiding. zonic has been further trained into such obedience he struggles to function, attempting multiple times to run back to mephiles (it doesnt work)

which leads is toooo~

an alt route.

SO BASICALLY basically zonic goes to eggman yknow. and like,, what eggman *wouldnt* be happy with a sonic whos willing to do whatever he says? evem without the speed (which he gets taught how to control and use :)) he was actually combat trained, so he can fuck people up. and hes willing to do whatever eggman says.

and well, eggman doesnt really know about thw other zones and shit but this is a kid that looks and sounds exactly like sonoc aside from shorter quills and scars, so ots not hard to tell that *spmethings* up with him

orbot and cubot are. far more concerned about him mentally like theres so much wrong woth this kid. also hes short as hell. thats not important to this you just need to know that. but slowly hes learning to use his speed, and because. why not. we cant have a naked eggion (ignore all the naked eggions theyre not important) (mostly to hide his identity because lets be honest ots SUPER FUCKING OBVIOUS) he gwts a uniform. and upon trying out the gloves, the fact that his bracelet is the only thing keeping him.... upright, at least for them. adhering their gravitational pull, is found out. pretty much confirming that theres something wrong about zonic. they take a bit- experimenting woth technology to make the transition between the two easier. granted, it took a while, and zonic did not feel good (switchign pretty much made him fall face first into the floor)(or wall, depending) which was pretty finny

so yeah he had a migraine for a while bit it happens yknow

hes also got a longer mechanical tail (attaches to his actual tail) to help with keeping balance while running as well as general assistance, acting like nines tails from prime :)

hes also concerned orbot n cubot (and eggman but to a more minor extent) by vaguely talking about stuff from the past. comments like "this is the best job ive wver had :)" and "im glad you let me keep my quills. theyve never been this long before"(which likely does catch eggman off guard at least because. theyre still super short at this time) and readily agreeing to spy on his friends for eggman because thats what hes spent his entire life doing and he doesnt realize its wrong. stuff that kids shouldnt be saying or doing lol.

also the fact zonic accidentally tells eggman theres other universes when hes extremely delirious from staying up for nearly three days and having to desperately go "hey hey dont do whatever youre planning on dking because you will literally reset REALITY again and thats not very cool"

(then these replies from my wonderful boyfriend who helped me by . knowing eggman far better than i LMAO)

zonic doesnt quite.. have motives? at least, not in that way. hes not really out to hurt people (yet). he's just.. desperate. he's gone his entire life under someones control, and not being so scares him. and he cant go back to mephiles, so eggman is the familiar middle ground. im not sure if desperation for the familiar counts as a motive, but thats what hes got. and then he stays because, well, it's better than every other job hes had.

IM NOT.. sure how that would work out? purely for the fact that like, the sonic team,, isnt really friends. theyre more aquaintences. zonic doesnt really... have friends. and he likely tries to keep his familial relations a secret, as much as he can at least. because he literally ran away for this. the spying only happened after a WHILE because zonic had been dead online for like. months. and upon learning he talked to them he was (initially) upset before realizing zonic could spy on them- at least i believe thats what was said lol. and zonics not going to try and get eggman to change his mind on friendship, cause to be quite honest, he ,, doesnt consider them friends. because hes not allowed friends. zobotnik sure as hell didnt want him having any considering how he was isolated. so.

AND I ACTUALLY LOVE THE ZONIC METAL THING? because also a big part of zonic is literally that he had to spend his life watching all of the sonics live lives he could never even *dream* of having. and now that he has the ability, he thinks thats his only option. be the name. hes not sonic, but he has to be. scourge is the only sonic to have denied his name and hes... well. its scourge. this is making less sense the longer i ramble aaaaa sorry lmao metals thing may have backfired tho because zonics going on a villain arc after this LMAO

GOIGGE. okay chat i think thats enough 4 now lol. ggihrhhrerrerr bye bye

[newty]

dion fic chapter 1 meta thoughts!!!!!!!!!

i made that meme a few days ago and didnt realize until a few hrs later that the Me penguin was chewing on the other's right arm and then i completely lost it. taking away dions arm feels good/feels right/feels like actualizing his sacrifice with physical, mental, & social consequences that will reshape the way he lives in the new world entirely. there's no past to return to, babey, and he cant accept that yet!

it was a bit odd to actually have him Cry and be Very Vulnerable when he seems to prefer taking careful shots at the things that distress him + occasionally just yell at those things. watching him just completely check out when the hideaway discusses twinside getting wiped out was like. wow i am experiencing a suffering unlike any other. this man is going to to completely lose control of what he thought was himself but in a totally different way than the first time. i think his brain chemistry got ratshaked and thats part of the :) i cant wait to die:) convo w the bros. its also part of why i made him cry. his identity and his control of that identity have changed.

now that kihel isnt on her own in complete survival mode maturity, i wanted to let her act more like a kid. i think she's around 12 (even if dion pings her around 9). it was a lot of fun to give her and terence a comfortable rapport. kids can unlock different attitudes in ppl, so i felt like letting terence be so casual with her was a great way to get him to stretch his legs beyond the Hyper Formality he has to upkeep as a high ranking military officer and servant. i dont doubt, like any person, that he was casual with others in the past, but our limited time w him gave us only one answer abt his personality.

in order not to seize up and feel stuck in the repetitiveness of keeping him only The Loyal Servant Who Speaks Out A Couple Times, i tried my best to think of him as a character that i could give opinions to. letting those opinions take a sharp contrast to dion's was a little scary to do--i think they were scary for him to express as well--but ultimately i really like the scaffold it gives me in the future. apocalypse survival w a random child while all the things you swore to do get forsaken or done by others is Uh, humiliating for a dude w a firm identity & pride in 'service.' im excited for terence pov tbh.

i also enjoyed giving terence a couple shared histories w kihel and dion! it was hard for me to just be like. this is my wheelhouse now and referencing a past that never existed in the game is My Right for the Sake Of Narrative. terence says dion once told him that words stop being useful after a while--an outlook necessary to validate warfare--and i can see it being smth that they had to fall back on to not completely fall to the dissonance of valuing life while just killing for a job.

which anyway square i wanted More ridiculous religion/evil empire/god thinks its rad that we specifically are killing his other children as opposed to them killing us. the nonsense w the cardinals not knowing they were an empire made me a little crazy. greagor seems to exist more as a word to invoke and a flavor in the backseat, so im uh. letting her be relevant. bc i think these boys should have as much propaganda ingrained in their heads as possible. we love flawed justification in this house.

and i figure the dragoons are no more bc dion said he only had a handful of them at ran'dellah. akashic dont leave bodies either, so the pyre terence ordered would have to be for dhalmeks and drgs, making even less of them. i wanted his claim to the throne to be as untenable as possible tbh. he lacks the trust + respect of probably a lot of people bc mad prince, plus hes gonna lose more respect once the ableism starts to kick in. hes depressed and traumatized and fatigued. he has smth like a middle school education (sorry harpocrares). he has no cash on hand. bahamut is gone. aaaaand no more private army! figure it out on ur own, dion.

also im bummed that w no more blessing of light, drgs prob cant jump anymore (i guess??). im absolutely feral over the ideal of terence doing the drg stabby jumpy broody n now he Cant so ty to all the others who fulfill that niche for me. maybe i can 👀 do a flashback.

[biaswreckingfics]

“Rewind and relax” as in rereading blurred lines bc it's my absolute comfort fic lol yeah no but srsly work and the holidays have been super stressful but I'm just looking forward to the new year's eve party I'm going to (read: get funny tipsy and find a nice person to kiss on midnight lol) BUT HOW HAVE YOU BEEN??? IS LIFE TREATING YOU WELL?? feels like ages since I've dropped by to send an ask :-)

Also on the note of me being way to invested... What if...

Sangyeon and y/n keep their relationship a secret bc of his very strict rules (as we have already seen in the uncomfortable covo in chap1) but of course people find out and there is a scene mirroring the one from the first chapter with y/n walking around the building and everyone looking at her and whispering not bc y/n is the poor new employee working for the cold and scary boss but bc y/n is now the employee that has a thing going on with the boss and rumors just run wild and Eric accidentally reveals all of the rumors and things the other coworkers whisper behind them?? YES DRAMA

AND BC IM ON A ROLL LOL what if..

Sangyeon brings/buys his own lunch at this very specific place and sooner or later there is a cup of coffee or maybe a sandwich or other lunch stuff appearing out of nowhere at y/n’s desk and it takes her a hot minute to figure out its him and what if y/n is so bold and starts to share the lunch with him or maybe does the return with bringing him something and just putting it on his desk?? Or let them leave sweet (or spicy hehe) notes for each other?? Or let him have a *fake* client/meeting in his schedule just too spend some time with her without the others noticing?? Oh my, there are endless possibilities as to where you'll bring this story!! So exciting :-)

Also,,, you know what they say? Great minds think alike or smth like that lmao ;-) or maybe you are great at foreshadowing and I overthink all the details and end up picking up stuff like this lol or maybe there is a camera over your shoulder?? Who knows ;-)

Feel hugged and a big spoonful of motivation for you <3 - what if anon

....That's it. I'm about to start tearing up the walls bc istg it's like you've seen my notes 😭😭 what is this 😭😭 how are you doing this 😭😭😂😂 I'm cracking up lol. I guess we do think alike!!

Though I won't be giving away what happens, you've hit some of the nails on the head lol. Expect these kinds of situations in the near future and even more 😈😈!! Also, can we just... the fact that you immediately called out Eric as being the messy one 💀💀

This time of year seems to always be the most stressful for everyone, but I hope you're able to get some down time now that they're mostly over with!! (If relaxing is you reading BL over and over, then I absolutely encourage you 😈😈, and not just for personal reasons!! Lol.) I hope your NYE party is super fun and you have a blast!! I will also hopefully be getting tipsy and kissing someone at midnight lol

I've been doing good!! I'm happy that Christmas is over bc if I spend one more freaking penny... 😭😭. Istg I act like I'm a rich bitch when it comes to buying gifts for my family and friends. You get a gift, and you get a gift! Over here acting like I'm Oprah 🙄🙄 lmao