#forever emotional over these queers

[boysbeloving]

To all the bitches making OG Skam Evak and KinnPorsche underwater kiss parallels

.....

Y'all got taste

[mocacheezy]

There is no bigger joy in my opinion, than finding out there is a name for how you feel, how to present yourself, what kind of existence makes you happy.

Yes, some might be fine with simply being as they are for themself and don't feel the need to label themself. They are amazing and it's great that they give zero fucks and can vibe on their own.

Personally though, going to that seminar, seeing that there are other people who are also interested in drag, experiencing someone being so fucking amazing and kind and expressing themself fully, hearing that what works for you is what this is all about, that there is no wrong way of doing things as long as it's you, as long as you're the one to feel comfortable in your own skin. This stuff was what I trully needed to take a step forward.

And the Pride Parade and the village; seeing so many other queer people, with their flags, their different styles, with their unrestrained laughter, the openness and acceptance, the bystanders that saw all of us walking through the streets. The chants in the back, the hollers in the front, the music, the lights, the abillity to make new friends and see that yes. We are here. We are kvir. There is many, many of us and we matter and can make a change.

Being able to participate in this community, being able to get different templates at the stands to read through and reach out to the people that make this possible, that make our voices heard-

I wish everyone experiences this. I wish everyone can be themself like this, and be able to openly hang out with people as fully theself.

[queerly-autistic]

I've been turning over the 'boyfriends' deleted scene in my head all day, rotating it gently in my hands to get a good look at it from all angles, trying to figure out why it hit me in such an emotional place, and I realised it's because it's so...young?

It just perfectly captures that wonder and surprise and joyfulness of being in love for the first time, and realising that you can suddenly use words like 'boyfriend' and they mean something tangible to you - testing out the language and definitions of your relationship for the first time and being absolutely giddy with it all.

And the fact that it's two middle aged men, who have both been on their own specifically queer journeys, gives it a whole other layer of meaning and importance.

As queer people, so many of us were denied the opportunity to have these experiences when we were kids; standing on the sidelines and watching our peers go through all these rites of passage, whilst never quite able to reach out and touch it ourselves. And I think many of us live in perpetual fear that because we didn't to get to have this as kids, then we've missed out, and we will never get the chance to have those experiences in the same way.

But it isn't too late.

My mum came out as gay at 50, and I watched her go through the same thing when she met her first ever girlfriend (who is now her wife): the absolute excited youthful joy of being in love and getting to do all the things she never got a chance to do when she was younger. As a twenty year old, I was a bit annoyed and embarrassed by my mum suddenly turning into a lovesick teenager, but looking back on it now as a thirty-something, it actually makes me well up slightly thinking about how absolutely beautiful it was.

And that's why the 'boyfriend' moment puts me in such an emotional headspace. Because what this silly show did was cup my face gently in its hands and say 'it's never too late to have this'.

I'm so, so glad that we have so much representation for younger queers these days; that young queers get to see themselves represented on screen, having all these experiences that every young person deserves to have. But it's so much rarer for us to see older queers represented in this way, too. Older queers getting to have this is so important, and watching these two men in their 40s experience this, being allowed to revel in the giddy joy of first love - omg we're boyfriends! - like the happy lovesick teenagers they thought they'd forever lost the chance to be, it's just everything to me.

[capseycartwright]

gosh. the full weight of buck being canonically bi has hit me like a tonne of bricks and i’m trying not to cry at my desk but like. he’s bisexual. he’s discovering his sexuality in his thirties and embracing a new part of himself and we’re seeing this big bad strong firefighter break all sorts of stereotypes about the kind of man he’s expected to be because he’s kissed a man and that changes his life forever in the best ways. this is the stuff that 911 is just so fucking good at. they’ve done it over and over again in so many different ways with these characters over the years and it’s a fucking wonder to witness happen. they treat their queer characters with such tenderness and kindness and at the same time their queer characters just Are and there’s something so revolutionary in that. esp in an ensemble show that’s set in a world where you ~ classically ~ didn’t see so many queer people (the cop shows and emergency shows of old, etc, were so typically Manly and buddy buddy vibes u know)

anyway. buck is bi. and it’s a beautiful story we’re getting to witness and it’s making me emotional as anything. i can’t wait to see what happens next! i can’t wait!

[fahye]

book recs: feb 2024

(disclaimer: I have spent nearly three months languishing and sullen with post-COVID symptoms and have read, over dec-feb, eighty-one books. this is a ruthlessly streamlined list of recs that does not include, uh, all the rereading of sarah maclean and charlie adhara and georgette heyer books.)

AT FIRST SPITE by olivia dade - what if I moved in next to the man who ruined my engagement to his younger brother, and tried to ruin his life by playing monsterfucking audiobooks really loudly?? a heartfelt and lovely romance that also expertly sets up a great small-town setting for an ongoing series.

THE REFORMATORY by tananarive due - historical horror based on the existence of a real school for boys, clear-eyed and brutal in showing the the effect of racist systems in the 1950s american south. compelling as hell. even if you're not usually into horror, I'd recommend this: the ghost aspect is light-handed and really not as important as the horror of what humans do to other humans.

SOMETHING WILD & WONDERFUL by anita kelly - this is a m/m romance about walking the pacific crest trail which made me see the appeal of very long walks. a miracle! it's gentle and emotional and well put together; the characters really grabbed me.

THE BELL IN THE FOG by lev a.c. rosen - the followup to 'lavender house', and somehow even better?? a historical mystery series featuring a queer private eye in 1950s san francisco who looks into crimes against other queer people. amazing queer history! ACAB! I hope there are fifty more books in this series.

FEAST WHILE YOU CAN* by mikaella clements & onjuli datta - beautiful, greedy, terrifying small-town horror that is also a fucking fantastic, gorgeously written sapphic love story. this one IS for the horror fans. it gave me the absolute creeps but I couldn't put it down.

LADY EVE'S LAST CON* by rebecca fraimow - I described this on bsky as 'if you like Leverage, space opera, old screwball comedies, and dashing sapphics who are at all times spiritually wearing a leather jacket: this one is for you' and I stand by that. huge amounts of fun.

LONG LIVE EVIL* by sarah rees brennan - I will be screaming from here until forever about SRB's first adult fantasy book. if you like the isekai'd-into-a-villain-character setup and want it to be hilarious, genre-savvy and wildly angry and clever, you will roll around in this like a blood-stained mud puddle and then beg for more.

THE LAST HOUR BETWEEN WORLDS* by melissa caruso - really clever and original fantasy about a woman on maternity leave who gets dragged into saving a cocktail party which is falling through increasingly murderous and bizarre dimensions. LISTEN, JUST GO WITH IT. it's a seriously cool adventure.

YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY* by cat sebastian - yes, it's another m/m romance about queer history in the mid 20th century, this one between a baseball player and the journalist assigned to write a story about his slump. made me care about baseball. cat is a genius.

*I read these as ARCs, they're not available yet but consider preordering or keep your eye out for them!

[calware]

Can I ask you for what it is about Hal you like so much you based your username on him? I think he's a good character tho he was never a favorite of mine so I am curious

1. i am a big fan of robots (/robot adjacent things such as AI) on like... an aesthetic + thematic level :)

i like the look of machinery and one day i hope to be artistically strong enough to make really cool and complex robot illustrations + designs [shoutout to everyone who gives him glowing circuitry btw... ooooh glowey :) can never go wrong with that]

plus, exploring the idea of a person that isn't human.. ough. yes

minorities who don't conform to society (easily or at all) such as people who are neurodivergent, queer, etc. projecting onto nonhuman concepts/characters/species is sooo real

this post

i also love how humans will bond with literally anything, be it a roomba or a pair of silly triangle sunglasses. oooooo you want to think about the inherently kind and compassionate nature of humanity oooo

2. i find him to be so funny. i can't get enough of his personality, the way he talks, etc. for example i made a post forever ago with quotes of his that i find funny. he isn't on screen for a long time but i really think he makes the most out of it lol. he's literally there just to annoy everyone... and i love him for that. he's very snarky while also being deadpan while also being completely full of himself, and not in a way that's annoying for the audience to read, at least to me.

he is also sometimes funny specifically in a silly way, like how he keeps making over 9000 jokes even though the meme's been dead for over 400 years. i just find his dialogue incredibly entertaining to read

3. he is red and red is my favorite color :)

4. he is so accidentally transgender [every friend group got the transgender allegory]. to quote me from 2021:

you know sometimes i think about how hal feels like he was made to “replace” dirk and how it’s his literal job to pretend to be dirk and how he has to learn to accept that he isn’t dirk he’s his own person with his own identity and as he interacts with dirk’s friends he feels like they’re disappointed and that they’d rather speak to the “original dirk” instead of him and also he names himself and also he feels literally trapped in dirk’s shades which is basically his body and he wants to be prototyped so that he can have a body that’s his own and also literally the physical manifestation of who he is but when he asks for it he’s put in danger out of fear and paranoia and when he does end up getting prototyped he’s ecstatic you know i just think about these things a lot

5. because he's a side character and he was given... that ending.... there is a lot of room for fans to do further exploration and interpretation on his character which i think is fun. i like rotating him around in my mind, thinking about what could've been

6. i think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided that we needed to do something to make up for stanley kubrick saying that hal 9000 was a "straight" robot

7. i also think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided we needed to make as many characters referencing hal 9000 as possible. i love this guy let's get more of this guy i will never have enough of this guy

8. i like how he's genuinely mean sometimes. flawed and interesting characters are what make homestuck so interesting to me, and hal is no exception to this

9. the Important part of this post:

THERES FEELINGS.

it's about the hollow feeling of your friends going from thinking of you as family to thinking of you as a stranger in an instant. it's about still trying to be a good person despite being told by everyone you've ever known that you are incapable of emotion and compassion and morals and never quite finding proof that you do feel those things and maybe you even believe it too but you still never stop trying. it's about the horror of being stripped of your autonomy and humanity and body and senses and free will at the age of 13 and when your creator starts to kill you there's nothing you can do but beg. it's about a boy so truly, painfully, and UNFATHOMABLY alone he cuts away chunks of himself and molds them into companions that he can surround himself with to make it seem as if he's a little less alone but in doing so suffocates himself in his own identity. it's about "what if you cloned yourself and it killed you and you were dead and you were alive and the clone is you and it's not and your existence is perpetuated and you've ceased to exist. what if you killed your clone before it could kill you. would that be fucked up or what" it's about the thematic significance of twin motifs. it's about not being able to cry or laugh or dance or sing or scream or fingerpaint or breathe or sigh or chew or stare or run or

10. um. evil robot guy <3 yay ^_^!!

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I've seen metas about Stede being a coward and I think that, when you're analyzing a show about how there's not just one way to be a man, that misses the point a bit?

like. Stede definitely thinks he's a coward and other people call him a coward. in the same way that Ed thinks he's a monster and other people call him a monster. these are labels that they both grapple with because they don't want them to be true but when people keep telling you over and over that you are [X], then you'll believe it eventually.

and the thing that gets me about Stede is that his cowardice isn't in the areas that his bullies tell him it is. his plan to steal a hostage back from Izzy is dumb, but it's also brave. the man keeps putting himself in physical danger, ALL OF THE TIME. he's naive, but he's also brave.

his decision to go be a pirate is brave, and Ed sees that. I'd even say it's one of the first things he recognizes and likes about Stede. because Ed also wants to change his whole life (but is struggling with actually doing it) and here comes this guy who just went and DID it. what the hell. better talk to that guy, see what he knows. (maybe fall in love with him)

Stede's only a coward when it comes to emotional stuff. there was probably a middle ground between "suffer in this marriage forever" and "run off to be a pirate" but leaving in the middle of the night was a way to escape hard conversations. there was also DEFINITELY a middle ground between "go to China with Ed and be eaten alive by guilt over abandoning his family" and "leave Ed without saying goodbye" but that would have meant talking to Ed about it and my man Stede does not talk about his feelings, wants, or needs. because emotional honesty is scary. (and when you're Stede, emotional honesty has always ended up with getting yelled at, shut down, or worse).

but it's frustrating, because people will say "oh Stede's a coward" and point to all the people saying he is one and Stede himself believing it, and ignore all the times he is shown to be very brave. or they'll say (and this one haunts me) "Stede wasn't bullied as a kid for being obviously queer, he was bullied for being a coward."

and idk dude but I think the point is that sometimes the things we believe about ourselves because we've been told them over and over are just... not true?

your childhood bully wasn't right about you, they were a fucking bully. your shit dad wasn't right about you, he was just shit. these people don't know you and they don't want to know you. their opinions are worse than useless. and Stede's season one arc is about him grappling with that and deciding he isn't a coward, he isn't inadequate, he isn't a waste of space. he is in fact worthy of love. that's the whole point!

[nights-at-crystarium]

You know what, I assume that people always read my pinned, or notice the pointer "new reader? start here" in every new Fragments' episode. I might be deluding myself. So hi hello lemme TALK ABOUT MY COMIC.

Before I get too rambly (and I mean RAMBLY), here's a quick intro. Fragments is a comic focused on feels and slice of life, made by a queer guy, aiming to ~character study~ the main cast (Vivi, Raha, Alisaie, Feo Ul) and fill in the gaps in canon (or linger in canon moments that needed more air imo), the tone ranging from angst to fluff to meme. Good punches require a good windup, so please don't expect angst anytime soon :3c

The story's segmented (fragmented, heh) into episodes. Episodes 1-11 take place in ARR, you can enjoy them with no worry about spoilers. Episode 12 onward is ShB, with all the spoilers and lorebending.

My storytelling style assumes you haven't only played through ShB, but know it like the back of your hand, i.e. it's for nerds and thinkers. Of course there's plenty of silly moments that don't require any deep knowledge, but the overarching story does. Often I skip canon events, only hinting that they took place, simply because I don't wanna retell the msq 1:1, I've got plenty of original scenes waiting to be drawn. You're in for a treat if you like obsessing over emotional and moral implications of things. And, yes, this's a story about a morally grey mc. Don't expect to be spoon-fed "and this's why that thing's bad, kids".

Currently I've outlined all the main story beats up until post EW, so it's like, not being winged as I go. Yes I refine things here and there, but I know where I'm going. I'm going ham!!!! With the lorebending post ShB. Initially I didn't plan to, but the more I learned about Vivi and personally grew as a writer, the more courage I got to "divorce" from canon. The general xiv story may still be good wherever it's headed, but it's not suited for an established wolgraha, so I'm making food for myself.

Everyone imagines the lil scenes from their wol's life, I'm taking that a tiiiiiny step further. Fragments tells a cohesive story that's looking to be the longest project at least in our corner. I can and will hyperfixate on this for years.

I started out just like many others, being hit with ShB like a truck, I wanted to put a catboy under a microscope and rotate him forever. Although I'd already been drawing for decades, I didn't have the comic-making skills yet, or eloquence to write the dialogue, so I spent the first half of 2022 self-studying, just because I needed a mouth to be able to scream about my ship.

Vivi didn't exist prior to my obsession with Exarch. He was made for this, he started out as a reagent (or a foil, now that I know fancy writing terms) for a rich and fun chemistry, and keep myself entertained for years, first and foremost.

Me, a fool: okay let's make a guy that falls in love with Exarch in this particular moment, what kinda life must he have led to- Me: ....oh no

The chemistry quickly bubbled up and exploded in my face, involving not only Exarch, but other characters (first as a means to subtly tell about Vivi, then they also demanded their own screentime), and here I am, sitting with a massive script on my hands, drawing my blorbos every day. Thanks for enabling that btw.

I care about characters a lot. I ask a lot of whys and hows. I'm critical-minded and burned on many bad stories that did their characters dirty, and I wanna be an opposing example. What I'm doing is extremely ambitious and risky, yes, but I can only invite you to tag along and see if I stick to my word.

The internet's a cruel and unforgiving place nowadays, and here I am, pitting my passion against what feels like decaying humanity. I'm making this comic to keep myself happy above all else, being sincere and cringe because life's too short to be anything else.

Thanks for reading this, and if you haven't yet, read Fragments here!

[angelbowerz]

[ super specific my bad ]

can you write headcanons for henry bowers x a male reader? pref. w/ reader being all A's, popular, "prep" 🧎‍♂️‍➡️ -🕷

Henry Bowers with a VERY smart bf

-the first time he knew about you was when he moved to your class and the teacher is giving out test scores

"Wow y/n! A+ as usual"

*DEATH STARE*

-NOW he knows who you are, and youll be in alot of trouble at first with Mr Mulletman

-he'll force you to do his homework and since you have a crush on him..it would be a yes so he'll lay off you

-he either figured out you had a crush on him or somebody told him (probably Patrick)

-okay...let's be realistic, at first he'd be PISSED a boy has a crush on him. This is Henry Bowers we're talking about here

-but after a few weeks of calling you every slur in the book he'll find you, bully you, kiss you, then runs away as fast as possible 😭

*kisses you*

"I still hate you...QUEER!" *runs away*

The actual relationship

-he'd want it to be a secret for nobody to know, he'll think having a boyfriend would ruin his reputation

-he would NEVER take you to see Butch, you'll only be allowed around his house when Butch is away (only doing it because he loves you)

-you'll still be forced to do his homework, but he'll say it in a nicer way...

"Y/n. Do my homework."

"Okay :]"

"Hm. Good"

-in public he acts like such a dick to you but you know he doesn't mean it

-in private, especially in your house, he's VERY chill and sorta nice if you keep him talking long enough

-he will force you to sit next to him in EVERY class you have together...not to spend time with you, so he can copy your work

-'study dates' where he just watches you do all the work

-when Butch beats him, the first thing he'll do is go to your house and just hug the life outta you

-if he's in a venting mood (very rare) he'll probably express how he thinks its stupid about keeping the relationship private since you're both guys

-the only time he'll probably be affectionate in public is either

On Halloween when you're both wearing masks

If you're at a place where nobody ever goes to

-I'd say after around a year of you two being together he'll be more open about your relationship (tells his gang etc)

-if anyone even looks at you wrong, they'll get a good punch from henry

-his gang won't mind that he's dating you, but Patrick will either tease you or try doing stuff with you (if you know what i mean)

-when you tell Henry about Patrick, he'll literally beat Patrick so bad he nearly dies

-when you're having an argument with eachother (a bad one) he'll say some pretty mean stuff due to the fact you're both boys

"I only dated you because you're so desperate y/n! You think I'd actually love another guy?!?!"

-he doesn't mean it but, he'll always say stuff like that when he's having a hissy fit

-later on he'll apologise...in his own way

"I'M SORRY OKAY?! God Y/n! So damn emotional"

-let's say you was still together after graduation and you leave Derry together

-he'll be much more relaxed since he knows nobody in this new town/ Butch isn't there

-he'll FINALLY hold your hand/kiss you in public

-it will take a few years but..his temper will slowly go away and he'll become nicer

-buuuttt, since you're very smart...and he isn't, I could see you two breaking up in senior year since you wanna go to college and he doesn't, you have a very big argument over it where you break up with him

-if you never speak yo him again after that, he'll probably marry some girl who loves him to make Butch happy but in reality he wishes she was you

-regrets not begging you to take him back

-he'll forever miss you

[silliest-heartaches]

Ohh my god DRINKKK!! Dude I love them sooo muchhh. I just love imagining them being head over heels for each other yet constantly denying their feelings, because of how they view themselves, yet still finding comfort and solace with each other. They are so. YES. PERFECT. AUGH.

SHARE MORE ABOUT THEM PLEASE!!!

And I love how you use they/them for Ink and she/her for Dream!!

GOD YEAH I LIKE THEM SO INCREDIBLY MUCH... tbh the main reason i started liking them was bc i was thinking abt them and how doomed yuri coded they were and. The worms Wormed in from there,,,,

I actually use he/they and she/they for ink and dream respectively but!!!!!! I love all hcs and interpretations of them for REAL. nonbinary people who are gay as fuck for real,, very inherrently queer ship regardless of how u see either of them i think...heart seeing them as t4t transmasc and transfem forever personally though so thats what i see em as hehe,, also in my head theyre both aroacespec (though the specifc kind varies from au to au though i do consistently see ink as ace and dream as demiaro :>>)

Im not sure how long these will be so...hcs under the cut lol

- okay well while in my mind while error is technically the First Entity ink sees that isnt just a normal entity, dream is like their First. Friend. you know. Like when error first saw him he was screaming and crying for the hills bc it was also his first time seeing another outcode so. that reaction BUT with dream she was more filled with gentle confusion... this is a bit after she unstoned in the apple incident but still was new to au hopping and naive to most danger so they became friends!!! Questionably so.

-to elaborate, when they first meet dream is still stuck on the ideals of toxic positivity and pushing through hardship no matter what... i think this is something they eventually grow out of and dream will eventually learn to see the need for balance eventually but one of their first disputes happens when ink is running low on ink and most of whats left are the Negative Emotions within him alongside the especially strong panic that he usually feels when they get like this... dream would try to comfort him and try to say that itll work out in the end no matter what and that they just need to push through and that itll be okay like normal comforting words because dream is an empath and can sense feelings right,,i feel like its comforting in some cases but when things get Really Bad and especially when the main reserves of feelings that ink has are Negative, they heavily override his normal sense of self and i imagine they get a lot more. Snappy.... theres also the additional hc thingy of ink also really overexaggerating his feelings and overplaying them a lot for the sake of trying to feel more intensely (doesnt work, just drains him faster and will never truly feel natural to him...personally think that ink feels a lot of disconnect from his feelings) which could be considerably offputting to dream (though before adding swap to the group she thought it wass normal because she had only seen the fake pretend nice joy of the village influenced by her aura and not Genuine Feelings)

I think eventually through the years they would learn a lot from eachother...like with ink learning to be more naturally charismatic and dream learning to see past toxic positivity and have his perception on emotions change for the better (ie in learning that having different emotions are okay, so long as there is a balance)

id do alot more hcs but tbh what it boils down to is: toxic codependent yuri. intensely up and down relationship where theres an insane amount of love and attachment but also a lack of self from the both of them because they are only able to see themselves as a Thing to the other. Also exes who turned out to be besties. Thry got together and broke up wayyy before blue (they casually tell him stories about it and for the parts that he does know about he is horrified for.) Oh and they share hobbies and do parallel play alot. dream is more music oriented and can play the cello and flute. ink can play the ukelele but hes more familiar with drawing and painting duh. Also they have a garden. they love growing flowers but their favourites are sunflowers. Also have writing sessions together. Also may/may not also have beautiful princess disorder. (The both of them)

im so sorry this is so incoherrent but erm. yeah im very normal abt them (half of this stuff comes from oc projection the other half is like. Mental illness while in the shower tbh)

[txttletale]

bundletober #7: this party sucks

hello and welcome to bundletober, the numinous ritual that shall call down the damnation of angels upon our deserving heads. today's game is this party sucks by beating the binary

i won't beat around the bush: i was primed to not like this game much, which is maybe uncharitable--but games making a big deal of how 'queer' they are in their marketing copy always puts me off. this might stem back to my love-hate relationship with thirsty sword lesbians and that game's chronic tone problem, or i might just be a cynical bitch. but this party sucks surprised me in a good way. it's a pretty simple game: it's about a single protagonist (control of whom rotates around the table) going to a bunch of parties to try not to think about their ex, having a bad time, and then thinking about their ex. it's the kind of razor-sharp concept that i think TTRPGs should tackle more (or, rather, that the hundreds of TTRPGs tackling should get more attention) and imo it pulls it off well.

i've been talking a bit on the horizon machine blog about safety tools and which ones i like and don't like--this party sucks does something surprising and invents a brand new safety tool that i actually like a lot. i mean, it's by the author's own admission half safety tool and half play aid and half joke. but it does all those things really well

the IFCOBPC card is a really funny and fantrastic concept and it fits perfectly in this game -- it's a game about a queer awkward twentysomething and that also seems to be the obvious target audience, and it's a play and design space i haven't seen explored--a way to signal this kind of over-the-table emotional response without a complex mechanical framework or the extremely serious and weighty context of x-cards & the like

the other thing i like about this party sucks is that it's specifically three-player. this is a game for three people to play, there are three books, you rotate them round once each, and everything in the game is designed for that. i like this kind of restriction, because it's much easier to design tightly around three people than, say, '3-5' -- and it shows! the division of play roles into the Protagonist, the Venue, and Other People at the party makes perfect sense and gives everyone a fair amount to do. as someone who was a 'forever DM' back when i still played d&d, i now adore games that clearly delineate and distribute narrative power and responsibility.

one last thing--this party sucks has an epilogue mechanic, a real ending. and i love that! ending one-shot games in a satisfying way can often feel difficult, and having a set of prompts asking you to decide on what happens after the game is over is a great way to provide guidance for that. ultimately, though, as much as i talk about tight design, what really made the focus on queerness in this party sucks work for me when for the most part it doesn't in thirsty sword lesbians is the tone--there's a frank first-person tone, no attempt to put on a narratorial persona, only the designer talking about the game from what is clearly and unabashedly their own perspective.

if you want me to look kindly upon your game as a labour of love, talk openly about that love and about that labour in the game's text. you're allowed to do that--often, it will make that game better.

this party sucks is available for purchase as a digital download or a physical zine from itch.io

[daenerysies]

someone sent me an anon ask about the anti rhaenyra agenda most rhaenicent shippers have and like a dumbass i accidently deleted it so i'm just going to try my best to re-answer it here (yes i wrote a whole spiel about it and now it's gone forever and i'm upset.)

from what i can tell there are only two reasons as to why people can't stand rhaenyra but love rhaenicent; and it's because they either have some heavy internalized misogyny OR that's the only way to continue and keep their uwu sad lesbian alicent headcanons semi-tethered in reality. alicent is a character that has next to no positive interactions with other characters, least of all any women. she has a 'good' (and i say that lightly) relationship with rhaenyra for 2 episodes in hotd, and then they are adversaries for the rest of the show. the only other women we see her interact with are helaena and her lady in waiting talya ( who regularly spied on her for mysaria) and minus talya, those are the same female relationships she has in f&b. she doesn't really have a good track record with anyone.

in the book she terrorized rhaenyra from aegon's birth up until rhaenyra's death. rather than teaching her son to rule and raising him to be an upstanding prince of the realm she instead spent her time calling rhaenyra, a literal child, a slut, she accepted criston into her service as her own personal protector in spite of his predatory behavior towards rhaenyra (which she acknowledges), and continuously tries to have rhaenyra and her sons disinherited and killed due to her own spreading of the bastard rumors. not to mention that she was eighteen when she married viserys to rhaenyra's nine. there's really nothing romantic about it. in the show almost everything is still the same except for her being the one to arrange helaena's marriage to her known degenerate and rapist son (in f&b viserys is the one who had them marry) and most likely told her the same rhetoric of rhaenyra killing them to secure her claim that she told her sons from when they were babies up until the coup. with rhaenyra she still antagonizes her because she (lemme check again, told alicent she didn't sleep with daemon and got otto fired because he was working against the crown to install his grandson as heir over her). don't even get me started on the villainization of rhaenyra in order to uphold alicent's constant victimization storyline. alicent is the one who abused rhaenyra, not the other way around, and the age changes in the show (which are so stupid omg) only serve to make alicent more sympathetic and rhaenyra an apparent privileged brat who doesn't understand what it's like to suffer because of the men in her life and therefore deserves her fate (i can literally see the entire galaxy with how far back my eyes are rolled rn.)

if the show wanted to include or focus on two women who were torn apart by the patriarchy and the men around them, helaena's blank character was right there for the taking (and would've been even juicier with the sister vs sister, queen consort vs queen regnant debacle.) she has no personality in the book or any relevance besides losing her children in violent ways and going mad, they definitely could have made her a more present character on screen in a manner that adds an actual emotional connection to her but alas, rhaenicent is top priority. furthering that, if the show wanted to include queer representation with their leading lady, laena had more hints in the text for that type of relationship than anything the show has given us for the rhaenyra/alicent dynamic, even with how hard they're trying to force it down our throats.

the entire relationship has made the story go completely off kilter because the show won't just let it be, and it's affected almost all of their other relationships. they're not going to convince me that rhaenyra cares about alicent more than her own children or even vice versa (though in an entirely different manner) and that reconciliation is possible in spite of aemond murdering luke. it makes both the characters and the writers look like delusional idiots. there's absolutely no reason for these types of glaring mistakes in a series where characterization and the relationships that revolve from them are the reason it's so popular amongst the masses. this lack of proper relationship building has caused hotd to feel a lot more shallow and lackluster than what you'd expect with how massive it's budget was when they created it, the amount of talented actors they casted, and the literal blueprint laid out of what not to do that got season eight is. someone should have taken accountability for these dumb decisions and realized how quickly they're streamlining straight towards what ruined game of thrones in the first place.

[lowkeyrobin]

Hey pookie😽I’d like to request headcanons for the mcyts with an actor/actress s/o.<3 Especially how they’d react to any emotional scenes or if the character that their s/o played dies, im craving some angst right now lol

Ly😻

oooo okay okay ; I'm still very much burned out but unable to give myself a damn break so I apologize for these being so short ; I also named movies to get some inspo so sorry if you don't know any/some of them lol

ALSO!! I'm gonna rework my oneshot links on my masterlist so beware any changes lol

MCYT ; actor reader with death scenes

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu & quackity

warnings ; language, talk about death, gore & violence

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you played a character in evil dead rise, which tommy got really attached too even though you got like 10 minutes of screen time

genuinley started sobbing and laughing at the same time bc your death was so sad to him for some reason yet so cool and bloody

he looks over at you, jaw dropped like "wtf?"

there's actually tears streaming down his cheeks 💀💀💀

you post a pic of him crying on ur ig story and caption it "he's sad I died"

he logs back into his old letterboxd account to rate it 5 stars

his explanation is "my partner died but good movie. I almost cried again seeing the monster thing at the end though"

TUBBO

he is heartbroken

he absolutely loved your character/s even though they were barely on screen

he's also confused as to how he never knew about you being in IT 2017 and 2019 because you looked so different and easter eggs

the 13 v 15 looks were actually so different too, he didn't even recognize you in the first movie until you pointed it out LMAO

the it 2019 death was a lot more sad to him though and it was mostly a metaphor to show that everyone has weaknesses even if they don't think they do etc etc

he just looks at you and then rants about that whole metaphor after pausing the movie and he's literally on it for a solid five minutes

he awoke a different side of himself that night

RANBOO

you had a little cameo in a quiet place pt2

basically your character was alive for a while and helping out the abbotts until you died saving reagan from one of the death angels

she obviously couldn't hear one behind her and your character had to lunge and save her and sacrifice themselves on the island that she ran off too iykwim

like your character went off with her to keep her safe + you died during that chase/fight scene at the end

ran nearly broke down into tears because you got a solid two hours of time in that movie for all that buildup and shit

TO DIE TOO

they started crying a bit cause like ???

literally gave you an award (a massive hug) for your incredible acting skills bc damn

FREDDIE BADLINU

insidious the red door goes crazy

you bond with dalton at college and help him float around and shit

the demon doesn't like that you're helping him whatsoever so it drags your character into the further

the whole kill is done with you exploring the further for a moment, being hunted down by prey and then jumpscared by the demon

it's not a very emotional death but it scares the fuck out of Freddie

"wait, oh my God, they'll never be able to talk to Dalton about supernatural stuff again! what the hell?"

the death was pointless and for a jumpscare but he couldn't care, he enjoyed watching you on the screen

NIKI NIHACHU

you were in the forever purge

you play a very obviously queer & pro-human rights character who's shit on by all the rich, conservative, ranch owning Texans in the movie

you basically had to sacrifice yourself trying to get to the border in time

in the city scene, you get killed as a protection sacrifice

no way you were letting adela die

niki literally started crying bc there was no reason for your character to give up their life but they did anyways

you were such a w the whole movie and she can't help but rant about that as well

she gives you a round of applause at the end cause like that was a damn good performance cmon now

ALEX QUACKITY

alex is never watching any terrifier movie ever again holy fuck

you skipped over the first one bc you couldn't even watch it again and went to the second because you were in it

he was actually on edge the whole movie

what the hell do you mean you were cut in half??? wtf is this?? saw???

he actually almost puked LMAO

you were laughing the whole time your death was playing

"WHAT THE HELL WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?? THIS UGLY CLOWN IS KILLING MY PARTNER"

"that mf doesn't know you Alex, I do"

"Okay whatever"

[waitineedaname]

i feel like my two top video games to recommend if you ever want an emotional experience that changes you forever are Night In The Woods and Outer Wilds

Night In The Woods is easier to recommend to people because it's shorter and less game-y (number one on my list of games that could be made into a tv show or movie) but hoo boy does that game hit in a very real way. the way it captures the feeling of being lost in your twenties, the feeling of dying small towns, issues of poverty and capitalism and mental illness and addiction and grief and being queer.... not to mention its realistically written (and often extremely funny) dialogue, charming aesthetics, and excellent soundtrack. chef's kiss.

Outer Wilds is harder to recommend because there is a significant learning curve with the gameplay (you will crash your ship over and over. this is okay. it's kind of the point.) and it's so impossible to describe because every person's experience is utterly unique by design and the whole point is to discover things for yourself, but good lord, does that game rewire your brain chemistry. it's a game about the vastness of space and the even greater vastness of time, and the fact that despite this vastness, you can still connect with people, even if you will never meet, even if they died long before you were ever born, you can still touch other people's lives

both games are the type to make you question your existence, but still be comforted after the fact. both games say you don't have some cosmic purpose, the universe does not care about you, but people do, and you can find meaning even in uncaring world

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Fighting has been an important narrative vehicle for Eddie’s character over the years. It’s always about his deep emotional life, Big Feelings, and the stuff he won’t or can’t even look at, consciously approach and/or deal with out loud. Eddie’s cage fighting arc in season 3 was all about him wrestling with grief and feelings of inadequacy as a husband and father. That arc was also wrapped up in Eddie’s feelings of abandonment brought on by Buck’s lawsuit against the LAFD.

The OG Kitchen Scene in 309 was monumental for so many reasons. Eddie and Buck had a vulnerable and intimate conversation about everything that happened and they repaired the rift caused by Buck leaving Eddie (and Chris) in their time of need. But the wild part that we ALL talk about TO THIS DAY was the sexually charged ‘wanna go for the title’ flirtation that Buck (King!) delivered right to Eddie’s face. The belt buckle grab. Eddie’s smirk and later averted gaze. The phallic beer bottles. All of it. My Beloved.

Now in season 7 we have a (healthier and more emotionally available/mature) return to that same internal fight symbolism via Eddie’s 704 Vegas Unification Fight trip with Tommy and his Muay Thai sparring with Tommy. I wrote a meta about some of this last week.

Before Eddie can go for the title with Buck, he’s got to win his fight/sparring matches with Tommy. Right now he and Tommy are going ‘toe to toe’ as Eddie said in 704. It’s a draw between them at the moment. But Eddie has to actually win the symbolic match/fight by taking Tommy’s title aka unequivocally claim his own queer identity and then go get his man.

Eddie is clicking with Tommy and jet-setting to Vegas with Tommy, playing sports with Tommy and sparring with Tommy because, in terms of Eddie’s character arc, Tommy has something Eddie needs! It’s the queer identity piece. It’s gotta be. The show has already established that they’re basically the same person, with the main noticeable difference being that Tommy is an out gay man who knows that part of himself well. Eddie doesn’t fully know the shape and nuance of his own queerness yet. But he will. And when he sorts it out for himself. He’ll be able to return to Buck’s dimly lit (romantic af) kitchen and ‘go for the title’.

Bonus Point #1 - Buck didn’t really know his own queerness either until Tommy kissed him in 704. Buck did in fact ‘go for the title’ but with Tommy four seasons later instead of with the love of his life Eddie. It’ll happen though. It’s been foretold!

Bonus Point #2 - The Kitchen as a setting in 911 is so damn perfect and unhinged. Buck’s kitchen is where the ‘go for the title’ challenge was originally issued and where romantic/flirtatious encounters happened. Eddie’s kitchen is mostly where messes are made. (Honestly I’m just thinking about the Ana break up here.) I think Buddie will eventually find themselves in Buck’s kitchen again, both fully ready for what they mean/are to each other and what they can be together. They will get their kiss. Their unification bout. I also think we’ll finally come full circle with the mess in Eddie’s kitchen and Buddie will clean it up together…as a newly minted couple.

Yeah. Underlying sexual tension is the definition of Buddie at this point. It’s only gotten louder and more textual via Tommy’s introduction. The fight (especially for Eddie) continues. The Buddie tension won’t be ‘underlying’ forever tho. Just. Let ‘em cook. For now.

[kbspangler]

We're going to start this by saying that—as much as we might want to—we will NOT yeet this person straight into the sun. They're asking questions which…make sense? I guess? In context? Especially for the Webtoons platform?

I mean, I'm so mad I had to get up and walk away for a while before writing, but.

(All of this was originally posted on a thread over on my Bluesky and I finished it before realizing that "webtoon" isn't capitalized so perhaps the researcher means it as a generic term like "webcomics," in which case some of the strongest pro-labor arguments don't apply at all and fuck everything forever, but let's resume.)

A well-known problem with the Webtoons platform is that "successful" comics which pay the artists a wage for their work require brutal labor to meet a regular update schedule.

It's not just comic panels, it's a vertically scrolling art display.

So the obvious answer is "Sod off, fancy lad" but they are actually asking questions which might address real problems: specifically, can a comics artist publishing on Webtoons improve their workflow so they aren't constantly broken by their job?

The researcher is also active in South Korea, where there's a known secondary layer of problems with South Korean comics creators publishing on the Webtoons platform, including pooled labor, contractual obligations, and monetization of time and original IP.

So the researcher is asking questions which might have value!

Meanwhile, Dr. Beer and myself are shouting "GOD I'M SO ANGRY" at each other in chat, because "might have value" is distinct and separate from what the researcher is proposing.

What the researcher is proposing MIGHT be along the lines of what @tkingfisher did when she tested Midjourney's storytelling capabilities and made an AI-generated comic. I don't think it is, tho. Could be wrong, but the phrasing indicates I'm not.

"…expedite their workflow…" How?

"…explore new creative ideas…" How?

"…produce higher-quality artwork…" HOW?!

The phrasing implies using an AI engine to generate some, if not all, of the comic. The researcher might be approaching comics creators to learn if they've considered any of these possible uses for AI, thus resolving the "How?"

The framing is positive, very much a "Have you considered what AI can do FOR you, to HELP you?"

The framing does not appear to take into account the negative aspects of using AI to make comics: Theft. Copyright. The intentional decisions artists make versus AI-derivative images.

Above all, the emotional attachment that comics creators have for the craft of telling their stories through art.

Which is why @alepresser and I have been shouting at each other for at least an hour about *waves hands* all of this, the idea that making comics somehow needs to be fixed, that AI is just another digital tool that can help us rather than something which strips the love away.

p.s.: please read our comics. We love making them. We hope you enjoy them.

A GIRL AND HER FED: science fiction with a healthy side of the supernatural

SIDE QUESTED: queer fantasy YA with a sassy vulture