#forever left feeling like I'm living in a different reality or something

[incarnadinedreams]

"WWX is the kindest person in the novel" "WWX would NEVER intentionally cause pain" "EVERYTHING WWX does in his life is to help the common people"

Hmm. Really. Is that in the book. Is that what actually happens. What qualifies as 'intentionally causing pain' because... uh... Are you sure you aren't confusing him with... someone else...?

Sarcasm aside I am genuinely baffled how people come to the 'HERO OF THE COMMON PEOPLE' take. Yet another point where I have that 'am I reading a different book than everyone else?!' moments. Literally where does he do anything for any commoner (aside from occasionally helping them via night hunts, which is of course a good thing to do - but none of the major plot points involve devoting his life to helping commoners and a few minor ones involve inconveniencing them via stolen lotus pods and chickens, ruining the floor/ceiling of their business/livelihood with bath water, and making them uneasy with pet ghost girl harems).

As much as I love WWX, none of the people he does significant things to protect in the story are commoners. Not JC, not the Wens who are, well, Wens - they're all cultivators and some (like WQ) were very close to the top of the cultivation world as a favored protege of WRH before they were dragged down. Mianmian might be a 'servant's daughter' and lower status than most people there at the indoctrination camp, but that's in the context of being cultivators belonging to/associated with clans important enough for the Wens to demand they send disciples to their camp - an extremely privileged and narrow subset of the total population that is still substantially higher status than actual commoners.

That's not to say it's a bad story! And it's not to say they weren't worth protecting because they weren't commoners, or change the fact he did so at great personal sacrifice and with considerable panache! But 'hero of the common people' is just not what his story is about??

Anyway why can't people just enjoy a sexy necromantic torture-revenge to tragic downfall to accidental resurrection with pet donkey to fucking in the bushes character arc for what it is?

Unless I'm wildly misremembering something, I'm pretty sure JGY is the only major character who actually put any significant effort into doing anything actually substantial at any sort of personal cost/risk to help common people, or made it a substantial goal and produced results. (I guess if you count XXC and SL as major characters them too but I don't because I don't care about the Yi City arc much at all lol)

[actual-changeling]

we do not talk enough about the moment right before crowley puts his sunglasses back on. the "nothing lasts forever" is devastating and if you're like me your eyes were so full of tears you couldn't see the screen the first time you watched it (just like crowley, look at us all twinning in sadness!).

there is a shift that happens in his eyes and i think it is absolutely fascinating and heartbreaking at the same time.

we begin with crowley averting his gaze from aziraphale's face and staring off into the distance instead, and you can see his spirit break. that crowley just lost the one thing in the world he cannot live without and we can see it written across his face like a neon sign.

then, as you'd expect, he gives into the need to cover up his pain, to try and make himself less vulnerable, and even before he lifts his glasses he looks down so aziraphale can no longer see his eyes.

now, the next part is what would not let me out of its grasp all day. we know it happens because of his demeanour afterwards and up until the kiss, but you can actually watch as crowley makes himself numb to the world.

i am intimately familiar with dissociation as a trauma and stress response, and while you can never fully control it, you do eventually find the switch in your mind that makes you snap back into the haze. crowley has had six thousand years to get really, really good at leaving reality behind when he needs and/or wants to.

that's exactly what he does.

he still looks sad, and yet there's just something distinctly distant in his eyes, the shift from openly heartbroken to "i don't want to feel any of this let me leave".

glasses? on

emotions? off

hotel? trivago

i have stared at those four frames more than any person probably should and i don't know if it's the light, if i am going insane, or if there is a single tear sliding out of his right (our left) eye. i'm probably insane and the light is a bitch so if anyone has some high resolution shots or anything that could answer that question without a doubt PLEASE do add it.

by now you are probably ready to threaten me with a knife in a dark alley but before you do that or drive your car off a cliff, let me tell you the best part:

aziraphale notices.

they might be communicating on two different frequencies but aziraphale knows crowley. he knows and loves him, and, most importantly, over the last few years he has gotten used to seeing crowley without his glasses. aziraphale could probably write a book on the expressions in his eyes alone and watches that shift happen and is devastated.

look.

he tries to make himself hope the same second, tries to convince himself crowley is putting on his glasses so they can leave together, but he knows.

aziraphale sees the light leave crowley's eyes, sees crowley leave, knowing that he is quite literally running away from him. you and me against the world, angel, but in that moment crowley firmly pushes him back to "the world" (or tries to, anyway).

the entire season we see crowley take off his glasses whenever he enters the bookshop to the point where he's running around without them on in broad daylight with jimbriel right there.

can you imagine how hurt and confused aziraphale must be?

because what crowley is telling him, if we really, really break it down, is that aziraphale is no longer a safe person for him. and repairing that trust is going to take time and work, no matter how much crowley loves him, how badly they love and need each other.

anyway to seal this off and really rub in the pain - how it started vs. how it ended. <3

oh one last thing: now crowley no longer has a single person he can be himself around, no one that knows him, no one he trusts. no one in whose presence he can take his glasses off.

and outside of the bentley and his own flat, he no longer has a place to do so either. the bookshop was theirs. with aziraphale gone, is it really a safe place anymore? is it somewhere he can just let himself be knowing he will be looked after and protected?

easy answer: no.

alright, off i go. see y'all on the next angst post or in the tags.

[anni-writes]

i’m getting a little nervous

Atsumu Miya x reader | Angst

Warnings: self indulgent angst, Atsumu a little shitty, post timeskip

Songfic based on Nerves by DPR IAN. Highly recommend listening the song or watching the mv

word count: 1270

23:02h

Hi, how you doing?

I heard you seem to be happy now

Never in a million years Atsumu though he would sob so hard for someone

He never antecipated that his shitty behavior would draw away someone he loved so deeply

Although, his brother antecipated.

Since forever, Osamu knew that the raw words, the lack of tact, the uncaring demeanor and the obnoxious narcisistic behaviour would tire you out eventually.

And he alerted Atsumu, just as he did in high school.

So is safe to say the last person he could reach now was Osamu.

He know better than to hear a painful “I warned you, dumbass” from him in this state.

Not when he was still so vulnerable from this afternoon.

_____

13:43h

It had been three months of radio silence after the fight, and Atsumu was hanging on the thin thread of hope that you would come back to him. Just as you always did.

He didn't see it coming. But he wished he did.

While scrolling through the meaningless registers of people's lives, waiting for his coach, he saw the airplane window picture on your Instagram story, alongside the news that you were moving to another country.

Another fucking country.

Just like that.

Out of reach.

The ball fell. On his side of the court. The referee blew the whistle announcing that it was officially his loss.

But he never loses, how can it be?

He could feel the rush of adrenaline increasing his heart rate.

His body acted on his own.

He left his teammates confused at the gym and ran like he had never did in his entire life. Not even in a volleyball match to catch an unpredictable, difficult ball on the other side of the court. Not even in high school when he was late for practice, and the coach would scold him and double his warm-up laps.

His body ran towards a destination he knew all too well, apologizing to people he bumped into on the street until they all became a blur, and he gave up on his own awareness.

So you came around my house

And you left your marks with your fingertips

I'm sitting where you sat down

And now he's looking for something meaningless

The image of you picking that place because it was so close to both the MSBY practice gym and the office where you worked, and also had the best view of Tokyo at night, was burning somewhere in the back of his mind while his lungs worked double-time to keep up with his speed.

A couple of minutes of running, which felt like hours, he bumped gracelessly against the building door, opening it and fumbling inside.

Breathless, he almost broke the elevator button in his impatience, earning a glare from the doorman, who chose not to say anything due to the visible distress on Atsumu’s face.

Just like the mirrorless elevator, the hallway of the 13th floor seemed more claustrophobic than ever.

And the door of apartment 1307 no longer held the garland from last Christmas, the one you always claimed to forget there, but in reality, were just too lazy to remove, saying “Christmas is gonna be soon again” every time Atsumu pointed it out.

God fucking hell, he could swear he heard your voice in the back of his head, and he hated it.

His sweaty hands reached the doorknob. The door was unlocked, but the sight locked something inside him.

The bright, colorful, saturated walls you made him help you paint were now white.

It looked like a nightmare.

Each uncertain step he took inside the plain apartment was like a different stake driving into his heart.

The once lively space that echoed your goofy laughter and his loud one, but mostly your colorful warmth, was now nothing more than an empty shell.

His heart ached as he desperately clung to the fading memories of you.

Letting his sight scan the place, he spotted the small nook where you used to sit and read, the sunlight from the window casting a warm glow on the now vacant spot. The vision triggered a fresh wave of pain, his legs almost buckling under the weight of his grief.

He leaned his back against the plain white wall, sliding down to sit on the floor.

It was as if every inch of the apartment was screaming out your absence, the silence deafening.

He let himself drown in the sea of regret, each memory of you like a wave crashing over him, pulling him further into the depths of his despair.

And in that moment, Atsumu realized the full extent of his loss. Not just the loss of you, but the loss of the love and joy you brought into his life, the loss of the person he had become because of you.

And I'm sorry

I was hurting too much to know

That you were standing right there

And it hit him. All the times you were there for him when he was alone in Tokyo, way before his brother moved.

A country boy trying to reach his dream all alone. Trying to deal with the pressure all alone. Trying to handle the early stages of fame all alone.

But he was never alone.

He would cry comfortably in the crook of your neck while you combed his hair, soothing his soul.

“Breathe with me, baby,” you would say so softly to him when he was in the middle of some panic attack on a Wednesday night.

When the nightmares with the cameras, the press, and the fans woke him up, and you were just… there. Sleeping soundly. And his shaking figure would spoon you to scent the vanilla of your shampoo and calm himself down to sleep again, dreaming of taking you to the vineyards in Italy on his first vacation in-between seasons.

You were always there for him.

But he failed to remember when he was there for you.

You got a little nervous of running back to you

When you weren't there

____

18:33h

He didn't know how long he sat there, lost in his thoughts. But when he finally managed to pull himself together, the sun was already setting.

The view from the window was the same as he had seen so many times with you. But this time, it felt so different, so… dull.

Just like him now.

____

23:40h

He never anticipated that his shitty behavior would drive away someone he loved so deeply, even though Osamu anticipated it.

And now he was sobbing while his sore muscles were relaxing under the strong effect of the whiskey in his left hand.

His phone, forgotten all day in his pocket, was now in his right hand. His thumb purposefully ignoring all the missed calls from his teammates and his brother, to open a three-month-old chat.

Your picture almost made him throw the glass of whiskey against the living room wall. A picture that he took.

But he suppressed the bottled anger. His once unwavering steady setter hands, now trembling, typed away on a mission.

He wanted to be there for you at least once, knowing what’s best for you right now.

So against all the cells of his body pleading for your presence, he sent:

So many times I could've held on

How much I wished I'd never let you go

I still can't believe I left you alone

It tore me down to pieces, she’ll never know

[yunhonumeris1fane]

Reality • JYH

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Your life was going downhill, there was nothing good about it. But one day you woke up in a different place, the one that brought you happiness.

pairing: reader x yunho

genre : smut, fluff

warnings: sMuT and aDuLt LaNgUaGe?

A/n Dunno how. I'm feeling about this one. I'm not really into writting smutty stuff, I'm all about all the cutesy and giggly stuff(^.^)

"My life is crap" You let out a loud sigh, talking to your friend on the phone.

"Life is crap indeed" She hummed in agreement.

 You hated your life and even more hated the fact that you didn't do anything about it. You wanted to change, but had very little enthusiasm about making any.

"I just want to sleep forever" You admitted, as she laughed at you. But there was really nothing much to laugh at.

 Most of the time you were working, from morning to late evening. Burnouts followed you everyday, everywhere you went. During the days off, you rotted in bed or sometimes got yourself out of the bed and went to a store. You were really procrastinating. It was hard to understand how you still managed to keep your only friend by your side, when you were so questionable. She had a grip on her life, stable work, a good partner and healthy lifestyle, so unlike you.

Your stomach growled from hunger, so you dropped the call and you fixed yourself some instant ramyeon. 

 With the dinner being ready, you plopped yourself on a couch and found some videos to play on youtube. Slurping on noodles, you watched your favorite band. They were performing on Inkigayo, it was a live performance and everything was perfect. A simple meal and watching your favorite group was all you needed to make your life a little better.

 As their performance was going towards the end, you felt your body giving out . You closed your eyes for a second and dozed off.

 A bright light woke you up. You slowly opened your eyes to see that the environment was unfamiliar. You clearly remembered falling asleep on the couch, watching the screen. But now you were in bed, in some room, that wasn't even yours. Was I kidnapped?

 The moment you felt the bed dip, your heart skipped a beat. You turned around and saw someone you thought you'd never see. It was him. Yunho. What was he doing in bed with you?

"Hah… that's an odd dream" You laughed to yourself as the man only stared in confusion with his eyebrows furrowed. Not able to understand whether it was a dream or not, you pinched yourself. And surprise, it hurt. Ouch!

"What are you doing baby?" He let out a breathy laugh, finding your behavior rather strange.

"I-I…" You stuttered, still unable to comprehend anything, "weird dream, such a weird dream" you mumbled to yourself.

"Did you have a bad dream?" He asked, plopping himself on his elbow.

"Yeaaahh…" You guessed, still feeling confused. It all felt too real. But it was impossible for everything to be real?

"Are you working today?" With a groan, he lifted himself off the bed, stretching his gorgeous body. You couldn't help, but steal a glance at him, his clothes wrinkled, hair messy, slight tint of pink painted on his cheeks. Such a beautiful sight.

"I- I don't know" You shrugged as you searched for your phone. You didn't go through much struggle, as the phone was right by your side. Taking a closer look at the phone, you noticed it was the same. Trippy

You immediately went straight into your calendar and let out a sigh of relief when you saw that you had no plans marked in the app. It was Saturday.

"I take it as a no" He smiled and headed off to what you assumed was a bathroom. Finally alone, you sat up, your body frozen. If it was a dream, it was a surreal one. 

Taking a look around, you inspected the room for any clues. But nothing helped to come to a conclusion so you left yourself thinking you were lucid dreaming or something like that.

 "I'm going to practise. You're gonna stay here, or do I drop you home?" Yunho came back into the room, sliding a white shirt over his head, flashing his bare torso in front of your eyes. You quickly turned away, not wanting to stare.

"I-Il stay" You stuttered, picking at your fingers, trying to distract yourself from the impure thoughts.

"Sure" with a smile he picked up his bag and walked up to you. Leaning in, his face moved closer and closer to yours. You slowly began  leaning back away from him, as he was getting dangerously close. But in a blink of an eye you were kissed on your forehead by the man in front of you, completely taking you by surprise

"Mhm… You're weird" Yunho once again looked at you, scrunching his nose. He was suspicious of your odd behaviour, but at the same time, you were always weird. So not giving much thought, he left.

"Whoaa" You breathed out as you dropped down on the bed, kicking your feet in the air energetically. You were just kissed. Kissed by Yunho. 

 With a squeal you got off the bed and ran out of the room. But a collusion awaited for you, as you bumped into something, rather someone, it felt like a cement wall. The moment you lifted your eyes up from the floor, you were met with Yeosang, staring at you.

"Slow down y/n" He let out a soft laugh and continued his way to the entrance door, "you're staying over?" He asked, tying his shoes.

"Yes!" You cheered, overtaken by all of the emotions. You ran over to the living room couch and sat down, excitedly looking around room.

"Oky" he smiled and was ready to leave, but a thought crossed his mind, "no running in the apartament, okay?... We don't need any more accidents" He informed you as you nodded and he disappeared behind the door.

 You wanted to stay here forever, but what if it was a dream, how long was it going to last?

Feeling a little hungry, you decided to check the fridge. But to your surprise or not, there wasn't much to choose from. Only condiments and tons of water bottles. So you searched through all of the cabinets and finally found the golden treasure. Instant ramen cabinet. Immediately you grabbed the classic shin ramyeon one and in no time heated everything up.

As soon as you were done, you sat down on the couch  and checked your phone. Clicking on the contacts, you scrolled through the dial log. And it showed exactly what you were thinking. There were a lot of calls from Yunho and the guys, leaving you completely unsure whether you were in a dream or had some type of amnesia.

The entire day you spent watching dramas on Tving, occasionally snacking on food. Of course you also snooped around the house, but didn't find anything suspicious.

 It startled you, when the doors suddenly swung open, revealing your supposed boyfriend. He looked physically tired, but mentally happy. The genuine smile and his arms wide open, couldn't tell otherwise. It took you a couple seconds to understand why he was so. Of course he wanted a hug. And you being a little socially awkward, didn't know that. The moment you stood up he engulfed you in the hug. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist, his face buried in your neck. Being hugged so heartfully, it finally felt like home. So you wrapped your arms around his torso and smushed your cheek flat against his chest, squeezing him even more than he was.

"Was I gone for too long?" Yunho pulled away, tucking loose strands of hair behind your ear as he looked you in your eyes, analysing you.

"As if for an eternity" You breathed out, earning a chuckle from him.

"You're really weird today, I'll give you that" He pecked you on your lips, "let's go to my room, we can do whatever you want" He suggested as you happily agreed and followed him from behind, holding his hand tight. 

 Once in his room, you sat down on the bed as he went searching for clothes in his closet. Once he found a perfect pair, with a quick kiss on your lips, he went to the bathroom once again, to freshen up. When he came back, he found you in the exact same position, sitting on the bed, patiently waiting.

"Do you want to do anything specific" Running his fingers through his hair, he sat down by your side, himself trying to think of something to entertain yourselves with

"Watch a movie?"

"Okay…any particular movie?" He asked, fetching a tv remote from the coffee table.

"I don't know, maybe something from suggestions?"

"Sure, what type of movie though?"

"A western movie maybe?" You suggested, wanting something fresh, as he nodded and opened the netflix app.

"Let's do it like that. Go to the movie section, then scroll 4 times down and 4 times right" You explained to him and he did so. But it didn't land on a movie you both had in mind.

"This? Really?" Yunho turned to you, with a questioning look on his face. 

"Well…It is what it is" You shrugged as he let out a heartful laugh and clicked on the play button, "- get comfortable"

 You laid down on the bed, your back resting against the pillows as you watched him close the bedroom door shut.

"Why close the door?" 

"I don't want the guys asking why I was watching Fifty Shades of Gray" He calmly explained, laying down next to you. He slid his arm behind your back, so you could rest your head on his chest.

"It's really not that bad"

"How do you know that?" A surprised gasp left his mouth, "whoah, didn't know you watched such movies" 

"Everyone has seen it, trust me" You flashed him with a proud smile as his eyes go wide open.

"Well… now everything makes sense" He wondered, leaving you confused.

"What?"

"No nothing, watch the movie" Instead of explaining further, he played the movie.

 The beginning went smooth, nothing much happening. Both of you invested in the movie, no words exchanged, until the spicy part came across. That was where things got a little awkward.

 You shifted in the bed, wrapping your hand around his torso. As the scene got too much for you, you nuzzled your face into his neck and felt him tensing up.

"You don't like the movie?" He looked down at you, his hand going to your face, gently caressing your rosy cheeks.

"No" you shook your head, placing your hand on top of his.

"Do you want to do something else?" He asked, catching you staring at his lips. He already knew what you wanted. And he wanted it to, so he brought you up on on his lap, now you were straddling him.

You wasted no time, bringing your lips to his, as his hands found their way to rest on your hips. Endless amount of shivers ran down your spine as his lips moved against yours. Gently biting on your lower lip, he gained access to your mouth, diving deeper, eager to get more from you. His hands slid underneath your shirt, fingers running up and down your bare back. Your mind went hazy, from his touch, as you felt your heart stop for a moment, when you felt him tug at your shirt, wanting it off.

"It's getting a little hot, you might want this off?" His voice is suggestive as he keeps on riding the shirt up.

"Me or you?" You quirked an eyebrow and let him take your shirt off. He wasted no time, getting rid of your clothes and let out a satisfied groan once you were left in nothing but a pair of black undergarments.

"Mhm…you're perfect" he latched his lips onto yours, his hands memorising every inch of your body.

Moments later clothes were long gone, as his lips traveled up from your lips down to your chest, leaving wet trails of kisses and bites down your neck. Your back arched at the feeling of his lips brushing past your chest.

 While he was busy leaving marks on your body, his hand grazed against your leg, slowly moving up your inner thigh, to where you needed him. An illicit moan escaped your mouth as you felt his fingers working its magic between your legs. Your body was soon covered in goosebumps, as his lips moved against your neck, sucking at the sweet spot and his fingers were drawing circles on your bundle of nerves.

"D-don't stop, p-please" You were a moaning mess, begging him to continue the way he was.

"Wasn't going to" He hushed you, watching your eyes close shut. It was a delightful sight for him to see,the way you folded under his touch. Sensing that you were close, as your thighs were starting to close around his hand, he attached his lips to your neck, sloppily kissing and biting at your skin.

"Let go baby, I've got you" his voice was deep and raspy, as he whispered into your ear. And it was enough encouragement for you, as you came crumbling down under his touch. He didn't stop, making sure you rode out your high to the fullest. Panting heavily, you slumped on him, as his hand grasped your hips, holding you in place.

 Taking a moment to catch your breath you lifted your eyes to meet his half hooded eyes. Needy, you kissed him again, as his hands rested against each side of your face, thumbs softly brushing your heated cheeks.

"We haven't even gotten to the good part and you're already out of breath" He teased you, his husky voice sending goosebumps all over your skin. Biting your lip you started moving in his lap, slightly rocking your hips against his hard bulge. He let out a breathy moan, his fingertips digging deeper into your flesh.

"Fuckk…you're driving me insane" he groaned, as you slowly rocked your hips at a torturously slow pace, but he needed more.

Desperate, he pulled away from your enchanting kiss and lifted you up a little, so you could finally end his suffering. He positioned himself right at your entrance and a chain of moans fell off your lips as you sank down.

"Mhmm… fuckk" He groaned, his head falling back, as your body moved against his.

 At first you were the one in control, your body moving up and down his shaft, as your lips moved against each other, exploring every inch he had to offer. But soon exhaustion creeped up on you, and he felt you getting slower, so he took the initiative on himself, gripping your hips, he guided you onto his dick and began slowly easing himself into you. You rested your head in the crook of his neck, placing sloppy kisses everywhere as he picked up the pace, thrusting into you with more force. 

"M-more I need more" You breathed out, chasing your high, as it was just around the corner. Attentively listening to your needs, his hand went down, applying pressure and drawing circles on your sensitive nub. When he felt your walls clenching around him, he knew you were close, but he abruptly stopped.

"W-why did you stop?" You whined, feeling robbed from all of the sensations.

He didn't say anything, instead flipped you around, so you were underneath him and pushed your legs apart, giving him more space.

"Shh.. " He silenced you with a kiss and thrusted into you again, this time his cock buried even deeper. Chuckling, he watched your eyes roll back from pleasure. He began slowly, working his way to a faster pace, kissing every inch of your neck and chest on the way. You were a painting mess under him, as he was thrusting into you, making sure you would be seeing stars.

"I-I'm close…" You moaned, your arms finding its way to his back, gripping at his back muscles, leaving red marks on his skin.

"I know, I know… Be a good girl and wait just a little" He groaned, as his body tensed up, he knew he was close too and he wanted you to come together. He rested his forehead on top of yours, attaching his lips to yours for a hungry kiss again. 

"F-fuck baby, let go" He voiced out the words you were dying to hear and soon the tingling in your abdomen turned into a bliss. Buckling his hips, he hit your sweet spot over and over again, as you came undone under him. Your hips were shaking as you felt him twitch inside and delicate, like music to your ears, moans left his mouth. He kept up the pace, wanting this moment to last as long as possible. 

 Panting heavily, you opened your eyes and met his eyes staring into yours. He was gazing at you so lovingly, you could swear you saw sparkles in his eyes. 

"I'm very lucky to have someone like you, someone so beautiful" He spoke softly as he placed a kiss on your nose.

"I love you" you whispered, running your hand through his messy hair.

"I love you more" He gave you a cheeky smile before kissing you again, not being able to resist the temptations.

"I'll start a shower for us. '' He suggested, lifting his heavy body off of you.

"I'll change the sheets" You offered, looking at the wet patches on the duvet.

"No" He approached your side of the bed and lifted you up in bridal style, "We'll do it later, together, let's go shower now"

 The shower didn't last long, as the two of you were exhausted. You quickly cleaned and rinsed your body as Yunho gathered towels and wrapped one around you. While drying yourself off, Yunho changed into his previous clothes and found you a shirt of his to wear.

"Cute" He noted, looking at you drowning in his shirt. 

 The changing of the sheets was also done fast, as the two of you were eager to go to sleep.

"Y/n take this end please, don't lose it again" Yunho let out a frustrated groan, as you were struggling with changing the sheets. And as soon as everything was done you buried yourself underneath the covers.

"Come here" Yunho pulled you into his embrace, as you found your warmth in him. He rested his head on yours and closed his eyes, "sleep well"

And with that you fell asleep. But your sleep was interrupted by an alarm clock ringing, piercing through your ears. As you reached for your phone, you felt the bed empty and cold. You opened your eyes and sadness clouded your mind. You were back in your own room, alone again. It was all just a dream.

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[tellmeallaboutit]

Writer's game

I got tagged by @reallyhatethiswebsite thank you <3

I'm tagging @coreene @beesht @littleplasticrat @magthara @dodorimo no pressure

When did you start writing?

Eight or nine. Just a couple of pages, I think, it was a fantasy / sci-fi piece. My mother adored it and got me to the local writing club. They said they are concerned about my mental health.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Ha. No, actually. I like horror, I like transgressive fiction, dark fiction, dark fantasy, experimental fiction, sci-fi / cyberpunk, and that's exactly the genres I write in.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I fancy myself (I am not) a mixture of Irvine Welsh and Clive Barker. Those are the two I could re-read forever. Other notable mentions include Bret Easton Ellis, Anthony Burgess, Laird Barron, Cormac McCarthy... yeah, all men, I know. I think about that a lot. I don't have many reassuring thoughts on this point.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Ah, just my study. I work there, I write there, I eat there, I live there. It's scandinavian style, white walls, no decorations.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I am discipline kind of gal. Sit down and write in total silence. Grind through. Embrace the pain. Pain purifies.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Sex, violence, power, money, parental abuse, humanity's inability to escape itself, how reality and fantasy intertwine and are they really that far apart, politics, left vs right, class warfare, toxic masculinity, breeding / inheritance / children, sadomasochism (NOT modern BDSM culture, that's something very different), sexual assault, sexual abuse, toxic relationships, gender wars, drugs, addictions, suicide.

They don't surprise me anymore, lol.

What is your reason for writing?

Not enough dark fiction in the world. Never enough. More.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

My favourite one is when the reader shares their own experience, gives me a bit of insight of their own psyche and why they reacted to my words in a certain way. I am very interested in people. I am eager to hear all the life stories.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

As someone adequate and friendly and approachable. Idk actually how I come across... feel free to tell me.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Naturalism, keeping tension and plot-building.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Some pieces I re-read many years after, some pieces I consider flops, I have strengths, I have weaknesses, I have moments when I am super insecure and moments when I am super proud. So ambivalent, I guess.

[rubyrealities]

𝓘F THE SHOES, FITS.

* shifting version

I feel like I could go on with this topic on forever, but one thing in life? If it doesn't suits you!! Then get another!!

"Ohh.... I wish I weight less/more so that I could wear this outfit.." THE DRESS IS A FABRIC ASSEMBLE TOGETHER TO FORM A FUCKING DESIGN!! YOU'RE BEAUTIFULL WITHOUT IT AND YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT NEED IT!!! FIND ONE YOUR OWN SIZE.

"ohh... I wish I don't have hips dips so I could wear those jeans" THE JEANS ARE NOT MEANT FOR YOU!! FIND ONE YOUR OWN SIZE.

"ugh I wish I could join their friendgroup they're so cool!!" THEY DON'T KNOW YOU!! FIND SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE THAT GETS YOU!!

"ugh... I wish I'm successful like them and have my own ___..." THEN WORK. START YOUR OWN LEVEL THAT SUITS YOU!!

Reality Shifting is a skill

Reality Shifting is a lifestyle

Reality Shifting is a talent

Reality Shifting is NOT A COMPETITION!!!!

WE ARE SOULS. SOULS that live in a body and take care of the body we possessed in. If something or someone you need doesn't suit you, simply, FIND YOUR OWN SIZE!!

You can't be LAYING on the BED, COMPLAINING THAT YOU CAN'T SHIFT, When ALLL YOU DO IS BEING JEALOUS OF OTHER PEOPLE'S JOURNEY AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S NOT WORKING FOR YOU.

simply, FIND ONE YOUR OWN SIZE.

If you're looking for a method and being all sad and depressed that it didn't work, guess what!! IT'S NOT FOR YOU.

PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, if you personally don't like or suitable enough for one thing, that could be ANYTHING, then DON'T FORCE IT.

Those clothes are pretty but it doesn't fit you? FIND ONE THAT FITS.

Those people are successful in their own job and workplace but it isn't just going the same for you? FIND JOB THAT WORKS.

Those people SHIFTED before you and you're being depressed? ever thinking that maybe just maybe, It's actually THEIR journey, and not YOURS??

A lot of people is so successful in shifting but you can't seem to get yourself in that same exact shifting method?? Ever thinking that method doesn't work for you!!?? 😱😱😱😱

JUST BECAUSE IT WORKS AND SUITABLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, DOESN'T MEAN IT WILL GO THE SAME WITH YOU!!!

You are just as PATHETIC like those people who left shifting because they themselves didn't shift.

If you're going to anywhere, and you look at one thing that is EVERYTHING YOU NEED. but just one single thing that makes a HUGEE difference in that same exact prop, then forget about it!! IT'S NOT FOR YOU!

A lot, and I mean A MAJORITY, have said, "Our shifting journey's is NOT THE SAME" and yet people STILL forget that, why? BECAUSE YOUR ASS IS SO FUCKING DESPERATE TO SHIFT THAT IT FEELS LIKE A ACTUAL CHORE AND A JOB RATHER THAN A SKILL AND A GOAL

Sometimes the solution is not taking a break from shifting, if you're just gonna come back with the same tactic. You're just gonna waste 3-5+ years being drained and start believing that it actually isn't real.

Instead, remember your own POV of shifting, What was the first thing that came into your mind when you find out how shifting works? What was your plan? What was YOUR blueprint?

If in the start you told yourself that you can shift in matter of seconds and your mindset still believe that, Then maybe you won't actually need a Method, you don't have to script, maybe you just don't have to do anything!!

Everyone, and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE. is different, that's literally the reason why we are divided into groups, most of us probably won't stick with the usual "friendship works together!!" Maybe, your soul doesn't like that, maybe you've always meant to be alone, and that's better than BEING FUCKING DEPRESSED OVER ONE FAILED SHIFTING ATTEMPT YOU COWARD.

GET YOUR ASS UP AND SHIFT LIKE THE MASTER SHIFTER YOU ARE.

[tabithatwo]

i'm so deep in my lottielee feelings since the start of season two. i loved them before but it's just...there's something about SEEING lottie NOW as an adult in the present timeline. so i guess my REAL favorite ship trope is middle aged woman forever bound to her childhood love?? but like, not just a childhood love. her everything. her fated. her bashert. the girl who, even if she HAD lived, would've grown into a woman who haunted her, had she ever strayed from her. but she didn't live. she's a ghost. she's a memory. she's there and she's not. she's everything and nothing, obliterated by fire (then water or teeth until nothing was left). so now she's the lost love. the forever love. the can't get her out of your mind love and WHY would you even TRY to get her out of your mind because she is your solace and salvation and soul. she's dead. you killed her. or you didn't save her. it's all the same, what do semantics matter when she's gone. and none of it is even near the realm of normal (but even if it HAD been, this love would've undone you so completely, because it was always a spiritual love, a binding love, a scary love, a supernatural love). but even more so now, because it's not in the realm of normal. it's in the realm of spirit and trauma and gods and monsters and angels and warped reality and twisted fates. so you try to do things. you fuck people and you start cults and you threaten men and you blackmail and you live outlandishly, because really, you've been dead ever since she died. except she's not fully dead. and you're so much painfully closer to life than death, even if you aren't truly alive. so this body you have has to keep going. you've got one hand in the afterlife and she's got one hand in the mortal world that you're stuck in, and every once in a while your fingers brush and those moments are everything to you. the best and the worst. maybe you can join her one day, if you're lucky. but your faith and your belief have always been unsteady, ebbing and flowing and revolving around her (or her memory) like a compass whose north changes on her whim (or what you imagine her whim to be). so you can't be sure. if one thing is certain, though, it's that she deserves heaven and most days you think you deserve hell. hell is all you've known on earth, why would you know different in death? so maybe it's nothing or maybe it's fire, but you can't let yourself believe for one SECOND that she is burning, because she's burned enough as it is. so yeah. i guess that's the sort of tragic love story i'm firmly seated for.

in other words, what the FUCK is wrong with me that THIS is my romantic trope of all time, THE love, THE pairing, THE blueprint that drives me insane?? it's so bleak over here, send help??

[cafeinthemoon]

Ruins - Part XIX

Chapter 19

Wordcount 4,2k

Title Part XIX

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warnings: none

Tagging @holdyourwine @lilacshouko @shirayuki-ayumi @telvess (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: Hello again :) I've been so anxious about how this chapter would be, if the descritions would be ok, if it would be too short, too long, boring, over detailed, but finally it's published! I'm so happy and relieved! I feel like I've been putting too much expectations on the Psique's Ritual and my biggest fear was to mess up with it, but I think it's good the way it ended up.

The party after the ceremony will have much more happening, so I knew this chapter wouldn't be enough to tell everything, so wait for the next part and, for now, have some minor, "solar" conflict ;)

The morning of the wedding came still and warm, the first one of the Spring that your life was about to become.

You left your bed with the thought of a sweet expectancy, and with the happy consciousness of having left the weights and fears behind.

It looks like any other day of Valhalla, and it could be. Except for me and my loved ones.

Days ago, you finally managed to talk to your parents about the separation that waited for you in the near future. It was a calm conversation, sad in some points, but surprisingly relieving in others, and those hours you’ve spoken with each other were something that you would never forget.

You’ve been carrying those fears for too long, but you were glad you took the chance to express them while your parents were still there. You confessed to them that you avoided talking about the dreams because you didn’t understand them, and you didn’t want to make them worried; you also supposed that they wouldn’t understand it as well. But to them, the real meaning of the dreams was as surprising as it was to you, and they weren’t less happy, as they soon made you know.

You told them you were scared with the idea of not having them forever by your side, and that you didn’t feel ready to be a Queen. And, about this, they were more prepared than you expected.

– No one feels ready for great roles in life, my dear – your mother explained – But admitting this to yourself is the first step to learn how to assume a responsibility.

– Besides, you won’t be alone in this – your father corroborated – Hades-sama is an experienced, wise god, as far as we could see. He will guide you in everything you need.

– And he seems willing to do that! – your mother said with a smile – Seeing my girls being loved and well treated is the dream of any mother, and you’re going to make it a reality!

– We’re proud of you, y/n-chan!

You felt your throat tightening with those words.

– But you’re not afraid of our separation? You’re not worried that our time together is almost over?

That time, their smiles faded a bit, but not their confidence.

– Even if you stayed human, our time together would come to an end – your father replied – Still, we wouldn’t think too much about this, right?

– We would just live and enjoy our days together, as any family in our world would do – your mother said – This isn’t different. We’re happy to be your parents, and we’re glad for the time you’ve stood with us.

You were no longer able to hold back your tears. You jumped into their arms, squeezing them tight.

– I love you so much…

– We love you too, dear.

– We will love you always.

You had that moment in mind for all the time you prepared yourself to the ceremony, content that you had no regrets.

***

Though you woke up early, the real preparations only started by afternoon, since the ceremony would take place by the evening. Still, you were surprised with the agitation at Valhalla during those few hours: many gods, goddesses and other people were invited, and Hermes and the elves were too busy receiving them. You had the chance to see and even talk to a few of them and, contrary to what you were expecting, they treated you with kindness, as if you were already one of them, though some had peculiar ways to show their surprise, so that you guessed that there were gods that never saw a human being from close before, and others haven’t seen one in centuries.

Hades, on his turn, has been in constant contact with his brothers and solving some practical matters concerning your imminent travel to the Underworld. According to him, Adamas, who was finishing some administrative tasks in Hellheim, was going to arrive at the afternoon, as well as Poseidon. Zeus, on the other hand, has been there for a few days now, and you’ve talked to him about the ambrosia and the procedures involving it.

You didn’t sleep in the same room as the other disciples: you were given a separated space to rest and take ceremonial baths, according to the Greek traditions taught to you by Hades. After being visited by two elvish women who brought you the garment and the accessories, you went to the room where your sisters were, and counted on them to do your hair and your makeup. You showed them the hairpin Hades gave to you and asked them to help you compose a hairstyle with it; the girls were fascinated by its beauty, and it was hard to keep Ellie’s little hands away from it.

After chatting and helping them with their own garments, you called an elf to take them ahead of you to the great hall.

You were there alone meditating when Hermes came to guide you to the great hall where the wedding was going to happen. There was a moment of silence, when you held your breath, but then you stood up and opened your best smile.

– I’m ready.

He offered his arm to you, and with one last look in the mirror to confirm everything was alright, you accepted the invitation to leave the room.

***

That corridor wasn’t different from the one where your room was, through which you’ve walked so many times, so you had a general idea of how long it was. Still, you had mixed sensations about crossing it: sometimes, it looked like you were almost reaching the great hall, and other times you thought you were too far from it.

In the meantime, Hermes and you had a brief conversation.

– I still find it hard to believe we’ve reached this stage, Hermes-sama – you were saying – There was fear, curiosity, warmth, desperation and, finally, happiness. It’s just too much when we remember it has only been a few months!

– You’re right – the god responded with a smile – And it was an interesting experience to observe all of this happening.

You felt your eyes getting filled with tears.

– And it was a privilege to have your company in all of these moments. You’ve been a great friend, Hermes-sama.

Hermes made you turn a corner and stopped, turning to you and kissing your forehead just like he did in the kitchen when you told him you were going to accept Hades’ proposal.

– And you’ve been, and will continue to be, a great little sister, y/n-chan.

The treatment, used by him for the first time, almost made you undo your makeup by crying, but with great effort you managed to control yourself. Hermes then guided you to the end of that new corridor, and pushed the doors that were in front of you by its end.

Soft lights invaded the corridor and touched your faces like the promise of a good dream, and you were presented to the great hall where your family, gods, Zeus-sama and the King of the Underworld were waiting for you.

***

In front of you, there was a long, narrow path covered with a light carpet and petals of yellow narcissus taken from the fields you once visited at the Gardens. You smiled to the vision.

– Can’t believe he remembered the day when we crossed the narcissus paths – you whispered to Hermes.

– Hades-sama has a privileged memory, y/n-chan – was his reply.

You looked around and saw many other details on the decoration that reminded you of the encounters you had: chords of flowers hanging from the ceiling, rounded recipients full of water that resembled the fountains at the Gardens and marble statues on the corners.

There were people on both sides of the path, and all of them stood up at your arrival: at the right, there were gods and goddesses from many pantheons, aside from the Greek gods you’ve already knew, and at the left, you saw the human girls with whom you’ve shared the lodge, demigods, nymphs and other spirits of nature, elves and minor deities. You felt so small when you noticed all those people who were there to celebrate the peculiar union, some of them clearly wanting to see a human for the first time, as well as to witness the rare Psique’s Ritual. For a moment, you considered asking Hermes if the goddess was present to see the ritual that carried her name, but you stood quiet. And, when you saw all those eyes turning to you, all you could think of was running away, and the only thing that stopped you from doing it was the approaching of someone you loved – your father, who came to replace Hermes by your side. He offered his arm and you accepted it, walking toward the altar.

Hades was there at the left side, waiting for you with his hands behind his back, while his brother was in the middle of it, in front of a golden table. The man you loved was as beautiful as you’ve always seen him, but something in the lights made you think his godly nature has never been so evident, and the majesty in his figure set him apart even from his fellow gods. His eyes – that is, his left eye and the right one covered with the eye patch – were glued on you, and as you approached the altar, you noticed the glow of tears over his visible eye: his happiness was there for anyone to see, and that only deepened your love and admiration for him.

You father stopped with you in front of the altar, and Hades walked down the three stairs that separated you to meet you two. Your father released your arm and kissed your head, murmuring encouraging words to you; he turned to the groom and, with a nod, he walked to your mother’s side, in the first row of the left wing, where she was holding Ellie while Luna and Helena were with her.

When your father left, Hades and you exchanged whispered, sweet words and giggling.

– You’re scary today, my Lord – you joked about the eye patch.

– Today I need to be scary, my girl – he replied – There’s too much people watching.

He took your hand and led you to the first stair, where Zeus was waiting for you. He opened a brief smile, then turned to the table and took something from it; when he turned again, you saw a silver goblet in his hands, filled with a liquid that reminded you of wine – ambrosia, about which you’ve talked in your conversations concerning the ceremony. You already knew you would have to drink it before the wedding itself, but never thought too much about this moment until it finally came, so when the Lord of Heaven offered the goblet to you, your hands hesitated for a second, but then you grabbed the object and held it tight in front of you.

Zeus changed his posture, raising his hands and speaking with a firm, louder voice, different from the one you’ve got used to hear from his mouth.

– Before the eyes of all the immortal and mortal ones who are here, I, Zeus, Lord of Heavens and Head of the Greek House, declare the beginning of the Ritual of Psique. And I call you, human Y/n of the Ys/n Family, from Midgard, to take your part on it by drinking the blessed liquid – and, looking into your eyes, – Take it, now, and change to join divinity.

A heavy silence spread all over the great hall as the echo of the god’s words reached its deepest parts and died, and you felt everyone’s eyes burning your back. With a deep breath, you glanced inside the goblet and closed your eyes as you approached its brim from your lips, emptying the cup in a few seconds.

You would never be able to remember the exact taste of the ambrosia: you only remembered the sensation of a cold liquid filling your mouth, and a warmth appearing as it was poured down your throat, but instead of the familiar feeling of a liquid reaching your stomach, the ambrosia simply disappeared inside your body, and no remaining taste was noticed in your mouth; it was like you never consumed anything.

However, it didn’t take long for the effects to start showing.

While a heat wave spread all over your limbs, a tingling sensation started on your fingertips, under your nails, and all over your scalp, increasing slowly as if something was bubbling, or growing out of these parts; the sensation, however, reverberated in your entire body. You raised your hands and looked at your nails, gasping when you saw them changing their color from the natural one, under the transparent polish nail you chose, to a purplish shade, soft and pleasing to the eye; besides, they were now longer, but still followed the almond shape you used to wear.

You looked at Hades and found him staring at you, ecstatic; at the moment when you were going to touch your hair, feeling something strange after the tingling started, he approached his hand and took off the hairpin from it, and that time you were the surprised one: untying and spreading by themselves, a mass of curls and waves fell on your back and reached your ankles’ height; you held some strands and laughed when you saw that their color was also changed, but to a darker version of the nails’ purple.

Hades approached for the second time and, passing his hands around your head, he grabbed a few strands and tied them with the hairpin. He took the chance to reveal a third change, this one invisible to you until you had the chance to look into a mirror.

– Your eyes are now lilac, little one.

You opened your mouth in surprise, and Zeus intervened:

– Since you are on the growing spectrum, more changes are expected in the next days – he explained, in a lower, assuring tone – But the first seeds of your new nature are alive and awake. Welcome to the world of the gods, Y/n.

Your emotions were roaring inside you, but you kept composed and nodded in respect.

– Thank you, Zeus-sama.

You raised the goblet and Zeus took it, returning it to its place on the table. He then showed the crowd a second object: a small, silver plate where you saw two pieces of what looked like sesame cakes.

Now, the way for the wedding was free, as the god’s next words indicated.

– For now we have both god and goddess before us, there are no impediments for the marital contract to be sealed – he put the plate between you – You both, take them.

Hades and you took the cakes at the same time. That was the moment of the ceremony you were the most anxious to take part in: the exchange of the ceremonial food. It as a simple part, but you were afraid you would start laughing of nervousness, but fortunately none of this happened. Obeying Zeus’ orientations, Hades gave you his cake and you gave yours to him.

Zeus put the plate back on the table and, for the third time, took something from it: a large stray with a golden ring and a delicate earring of the same color. Hades took the earring and, moving your hair away with a gentle gesture, he put the jewel on your left ear; you took the ring from the stray and put it on his left hand, on his ring finger.

Zeus held your hands together for a moment, then made the announcement.

– By the powers of Heaven, I declare you husband and wife.

Those words, the concretization of something you’ve been dreaming of for months, brought hot tears to your eyes. Hades – now, your husband – pulled you closer and kissed you twice, the first time on your forehead, the second on your lips.

You both turned to the crowd, and watched with silent happiness as they received with smiles and claps the new couple and the new goddess.

***

The festivity that happened right after the ceremony, in the same rooms where the ball in which you’ve solved Hades’ enigma took place, was organized to receive the new family of the Greek pantheon and it was a good counterpoint for the solemnity of both the wedding and the ritual. Despite continuing to be the focus of the attentions beside your husband, you were more at will now, for your family was close, you already talked to the friends you’ve made on the lodge and had the opportunity to meet many gods and goddesses you’ve only knew by name.

And, about each of them, you formed curious opinions.

One of the first gods you met was from your own, new pantheon, and even when you’ve never saw him before, you’ve kind of guessed his identity once he appeared in front of you: a young man with pretty, delicate traits, dressed in extravagant, golden garment and with a long, pink hair falling on his back approached you two with the confidence of a king, bringing with him the heat you’d expect to feel outside your home in a Summer day.

As soon as he put his scrutinizing eyes on you, a feeling of being exposed to an intense light took over you, and you had to fight the impulse of hiding behind Hades.

I’m a goddess now. I can’t just shame myself this way.

The first words exchanged between you were said by the newcomer.

– If only I could tell you, big bro, how much I had to restrain myself from approaching the altar and examining her from close – the man stretched his hand and held your jawline, turning your face from one side to the other, as to not miss the smallest detail of your appearance – She’s such a beauty! – and, blinking an eye to your husband, – You’ve always had an eye for treasures, dear uncle.

You glanced at Hades and, to your surprise, his response to the god’s attitude was to smile.

– Your enthusiasm is laudable, but I’m afraid you’re scaring my wife, Apollo.

The other man, only then realizing the possibility of being intrusive, let go of your jawline and made a proper presentation.

– Forgive me for this indiscretion, little flower – he nodded – I am Apollo, God of the Sun. It is a pleasure to receive you in our family. From now on, consider me your elder brother.

You followed the etiquette and nodded to greet him.

– Thank you for celebrating with us and considering me part of your family, Apollo-sama.

– Ah, you don’t need to thank me, dear – Apollo caressed your chin – I’m too attached to my family, so of course I’d come. Besides, don’t you know that the ritual to transform a mortal being in a deity hasn’t been seen in ages? I couldn’t miss this opportunity. And, obviously, I was curious to know the woman who won my uncle’s cold heart, that is, what kind of beauty she carried in her.

You laughed at those words: despite his extravagance, Apollo was a good guy, with a pleasing sense of humor.

The conversation would have continued in this rhythm if it wasn’t for the arrival of another person, as interesting as him: a woman of Asian traits, with a young, majestic face covered in white makeup and red lips, contrasting with her black hair, tied up with luxurious hairpins; something in her way resembled Apollo, but in a quieter manner. The god of the Sun fell silent once he noticed her presence, and you sensed that he wasn’t exactly content with it.

The goddess’ voice sounded just like her figure suggested it would sound: soft, but firm, articulated, but sensitive.

– Hades-sama, Apollo-sama – she nodded to each of them as she spoke – It’s been a long time since our last reunion – and, turning to you, – But I’m content that the reason that reunited us today is a happy one.

Hades made the presentations.

– Y/n, this is Amaterasu, from the Japanese pantheon. She’s the Goddess of the Sun.

You greeted her with the same respect you treated her Greek counterpart. Amaterasu looked into your eyes for a moment, as if reading a secret in them, then spoke in a prophetic tone:

– There is a light inside you that has been there since you were born, young goddess – and, opening a hopeful smile, – The consumption of the ambrosia amplified and strengthened it, for your own good and for the ones you love.

You had no idea of what she was talking about, but you wouldn’t interrupt her. However, there was someone who wasn’t so composed in this sense.

– It is a pleasure for me to meet you again after so many centuries, Amaterasu – it was Apollo’s voice; he was really displeased for having his chatting with you interrupted by a member of a foreigner pantheon – But if you don’t mind, Y/n must receive blessings from her own pantheon first.

The Japanese goddess stared at him and, without arguing, smiled and raised her hands in a gesture of rendition.

– I just thought you already gave her your blessing, Apollo-sama. But if you didn’t, go ahead. I’m not stopping you.

Apollo, still with his hurt ego, didn’t mind replying to her, turning to you instead.

– Young Y/n, you’ve already proved your beauty by your hard work concerning the solution of your husband’s enigma, in which you showed your aspiration for a greater fate than your former nature could concede you.

You didn’t see yourself as this ambitious person, but you let him continue. And, as he spoke, you began to see his surroundings changing as a golden light involved his figure.

Is this an ability I gained as a goddess? I felt like I’m witnessing a glimpse of his true form.

– This is my gift to you, my dear – he took your hands and held them tight between you – May you continue what you started here in your new life as a Queen, and your soul grow in wisdom, kindness and strength of will, for all of this is beauty.

You gave his hands a soft squeeze in response.

– May everything happens exactly as you say, Apollo-sama – you whispered – Thank you for your blessing.

– Once again, no need to thank me, my flower, for prophecy isn’t but my job – untangling his hands from yours, he brushed your hair behind your ear; and, glancing at Hades, – Now, if you two excuse me, there are a group of anxious nymphs longing for company somewhere in this hall.

Without any other word or need for verbal responses from you or the other presents, Apollo turned his back on the group and walked away, as dramatic as a Summer sunset.

When he was out of sight, you heard a sweet giggle. You looked around and saw Amaterasu staring at the path taken by the other sun god.

– He never changes – she turned to you – But he’s a good man, despite what you just saw. Now, allow me to give you my blessing, Y/n – she repeated Apollo’s gesture, taking your hands in hers – The light you already bear in you, which has been brought to sight by the blessed drink, must never fade, and never fail you. The paths that wait for you, young goddess, are sinuous and dark, but may the lamps of consciousness be fed by this light, and fear never lead you stray.

Something similar to what happened during Apollo’s blessing happened now: you saw Amaterasu’s figure surround itself with a light that reminded you the first rays of a calm day, and as much as you felt encouraged and inspired by Apollo’s words, you felt comforted and determined with Amaterasu’s, and you thanked her with the same enthusiasm you showed to the Greek solar deity.

– I pray that everything happens as you determine, Amaterasu-sama. Thank you for your blessing.

The goddess inclined her head toward you, then did the same to Hades before leaving, with the same serenity in which she came.

You were still thinking of her words when you felt your hand being held by your husband. You turned to him to find a smile on his lips.

– Being blessed by solar deities is a great privilege for any person, god or mortal – he commented; and, with a playful tone, – But having two of them competing for attention is something you must never forget.

You laughed.

– I can see that. But it’s funny that, though I understand they must have reasons to not be so fond of each other, I don’t think they should feed conflicts between them so often.

Hades raised an eyebrow.

– How so?

– They might be the representations for the same concept in different pantheons, but each of them bring something unique to it – you explained – Apollo-sama, is like the imposing, powerful midday sun; Amaterasu-sama, on the other hand, is solemn, but welcoming as the morning sun. And I like both.

The King of Hellheim stared at you with kindness, as recognizing in your attitude one more reason to love you.

– Sustaining this view on such subjects is easier in theory, but I suppose it’s not going to be a problem for you to bring it to the practical field as a former human – he pondered.

– Do you think so?

He caressed your hair in response.

– I do. And I think we will have much fun learning with each other in this sense.

Part XX

[rowdyhughesy]

I miss you, I’m sorry - Luke Hughes

“ When did I become so numb? When did I lose myself? All the words that leave my tongue feel like they came from someone else “

- paralyzed, nf

content warning: depression, mention of an abus!ve relationship. Toxic relationship.

Do not! read if this is something that triggers you!

word count: 1k

Do you remember happy together?

I do, don't you?

The covers are pulled up to his neck, eyes staring blankly at the wall. The dried tear tracks on his cheeks making the skin feel tight but he doesn’t have it in him anymore to care. It’s all he’s been doing for the last month, how there is any tears left to cry he’ll never understand but there are. His throat sore and scratchy from the sobs that’s been poring out of him like the sky when it rains. It’s never ending.

Good to each other, give it the summer

I knew, you too

But I only saw you once in December

I'm still confused

It didn’t come as a chock when she said she wanted a break. Nothing had been the same as it used to be. But even if it didn’t surprise him it still felt like a punch to his guts. ‘Only for the summer’ had been what she told him.

He didn’t know that only the summer would turn into months. Antagonising months wondering if she still loved him, if she still cared? He supposed she’d stopped doing both as the girl had gone radio silent on him.

The confusion is probably the hardest part. Wondering where he went wrong? What he did to make her scrutinise every little thing he did, if he could’ve done things different and maybe that would’ve made her stay.

It wasn’t until December he saw her again. On campus as he was walking to class together with Dylan and Luca. She didn’t look nearly as sad and hurt as he does. If at all.

She looked the same as she always had.

Then came what could be worded as the final blow.

Another man walking over and placing a kiss upon her lips, giggling as the unknown male hugged her after they pulled apart. Luca had made quick work of dragging Luke away from the sight. A desperate attempt of damage control.

He made it back to the sophomore house with the help of his friends before he broke down. Body shaking and incoherent mumbles falling from his lips. Curled into a ball on his bedroom floor.

Ethan had tried to get him to open the door, to let him in but he refused. All he wanted was for the ground to swallow him whole. Pull him down, down, down into its darkness until it doesn’t hurt anymore. Until his heart no longer feel like it’s been cut out of his chest.

You said, "forever," and I almost bought it.

I miss fighting in your old apartment

Breaking dishes when you're disappointed

When he finally gets some sleep, eyelids too heavy from exhaustion he can hear her voice in his dreams. Promising him that she will love him forever and more, that this is real. Then he wakes up and reality comes creeping back. The memories of screaming matches, the sound of porcelain breaking when she throws another glass at the wall.

Her face is red from screaming but there is no trace of actual sadness on her features. It’s only pure anger. Hands clenched at her sides before she grabs another item close to her, Luke has the chance to step aside before it hits him. He stands frozen for a couple of seconds before hastily putting on his shoes and half running out of her apartment.

His pulse feels like it’s beating a mile per millisecond. Cold sweats forming on the back of his neck.

He doesn’t say anything when he walks past the living room where all his teammates are gathered arguing about what movie to watch. He just hopes they won’t notice him because then he’ll have to explain why he’s been running in the middle of the night and why his eyes are bloodshot from crying.

Luckily for him nobody notifies the group of his presence if anyone saw him so he can slip inside his bedroom and lock the door behind him.

Sliding down the wall he leans his head in his hands. Wondering where it all went to shit.

Every corner of this house is haunted

And I know you said that we're not talking

But I miss you, I'm sorry

He knows about the whispers at parties, Dylan having told him from outside the door one night. How she tells everyone that they’re not together anymore. It seems as if everyone got the news of the breakup before he did. If there even had been a breakup to start with.

Luke hates how he misses her even after it all. Missing the girl he had made up in his mind.

She’s all over his room. Small things left behind that he hasn’t thrown away, he does not have it in him to return it. She hasn’t asked for any of it so there is a chance she’s forgotten it even existed in the first place. Just like she forgot him. The girl is no longer there but she still haunts him.

Everything I know brings me back to us

I don't wanna go, we've been here before

Everywhere I go leads me back to you

He longs for the day he won’t think of her the second he wakes. For the day he can do anything he wants without it reminding him of what they used to be.

The day he becomes free from the ghost of her haunting him every second of the day. That one day he will find someone that’s nothing like her.

Someone that won’t break his heart over and over again. That will love him as fearlessly as he loves, kindly and with honesty. That there is someone out there that will look at him as he is and don’t point out all the flaws and things he does wrong. Simply just love him as he is like how his brothers love him, like his parents love each other and how his friends love him too. No ulterior motives behind word they say and do.

As he sniffles and wipes the tears from his eyes he hopes that day will come soon. So his heart can finally stop breaking.

[gemharvest]

Might not be exactly what you asked for but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go into more depth about the bf and pico drawing with the kinto pet song lyrics 🙏🙏🙏🙏 it has haunted me in a good way and I will explode without more

UR MORE THAN FINE DWWW it's easier for me to ask for prompts but I LOVE ASKS IN GENERAL I like getting to ramble. Forever and always if you see me post something and you want me to elaborate on it/ have specific questions/ literally whatever PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED TO SEND AN ASK IN !!!

okay needed that out of the way first LOLLLLL

The like. Images I get in my head when I listen to this song drive me insane like this was just me putting it into one image but I could deadass do a full PMV if I had the time.

Obvi I prefer to draw in a more Funkin'-influenced style, but esp. with how Pico is drawn I hope it's clear I was leaning into the Pico's School side of things.

(continuing under a cut because I am about to Ramble)

I don't think I was consciously thinking abt it the other night BUT at least the first verse makes me think. Of the Love Conquers All version of Pico's School. An ideal ending; Cassandra is convinced not to carry out her plan, nobody dies, Pico certainly wouldn't be Going Through It. Maybe in this ideal ending they (Pico & BF) wouldn't have split. "In this world, we're friends forever".

I also imagine it as like.. basically how the art I did ended up being. They're just black lines on a white background. Faces obscured. Maybe with some visual effects that distort things too/ some pixelation whatever. I actually think I was planning to have some parts of that pixelated but forgot by the time I was home and could draw; might have been for the best but here's a version with a biit of what I'm talking abt.

They're in a void. Separate from the real world, but happy. Stuck in a loop of the happiest time of their lives (mostly thinking from Pico's perspective with that lol). Is that not better than having to continue on in a fucked reality?

Of course, that's not real. It's just an imaginary loop of "what if"s in Pico's mind. It's a world he built for Boyf.

In this world, Boyfriend is always following with Pico, always showing him kindness and always smiling. Pico's emotions are less readable; maybe in a proper PMV I'd give him his mouth too so he can show he is at least somewhat happy, but despite being the "leader" of the two, he is much more passive, reserved. They are always holding each other's hands.

Verse 2 would be the inverse (lol), signaled by the stronger beats kicking in. White lines on black background. It's no longer the ideal world, and instead the "real world". Real, but distorted by trauma. "Inside my code, you'll always be". The world Cass built for Pico.

The bit of instrumental between verses 2 & 3 would be the Real real world, going forward to when FNF would take place; Pico and Boyfriend reconnected, through less than ideal means, though reconnected nontheless.

We're back to black lines on white background, but everything's less distorted. There's more details too, the world not just being a hazy backdrop for Pico and Boyfriend to play around in, but real.

He's different from Pico's memories, obviously, drawn now in the FNF style fully. More confident, still stupid. He has Girlfriend now.

The first 2 lines of verse 3, his imagined worlds and the real world melt together. Mixed in ways that highlight a feeling of off-ness. Everything feels strange, distorted, unreal.

The last 2 lines it's just Pico and Boyfriend hanging out alone. "All that's left is me and you/Lots of fun that we can do". Boyfriend cheery as ever, while Pico is visibly nervous-- uncharacteristic for him but we don't see if Boyfriend notices.

The strong beat kicking in again sends us back to the imagined world. The good world. But things are wrong. The real world is slipping in, things are no longer stagnant; no longer perfect. Visual distortions/ glitches worsen.

Pico could delude himself when he hadn't known where Boyfriend was; now that he's back, his world warps. No longer under his control. He is not in the lead.

The first half of the outro Boyfriend is still mostly playing along, though still seems to be growing disinterested. Pico is noticably anxious, clearly seeing how the other is no longer like a puppy at his side. Boyfriend is pulling away. Why is he pulling away, when everything's "perfect"? Why is everything going wrong. "The world I built, designed for you".

The second half of the outro, Boyfriend is now actively pulling away. He no longer looks like the idealized, young Boyfriend. He's older, a stranger, he doesn't care for Pico anymore. Pico is older now too, desperately holding on to Boyfriend. Unwilling to let him go again, first in the real world and now in his mind. Boyfriend refuses to hold his hand but Pico still grips onto his arm. Their eyes finally become visible in the imagined world.

Pico's behavior mirrors Cassandra's involvement in the second verse, though unintentionally violent as opposed to her intentional violence. He's selfish, desperate to hold on to his world; to Boyfriend. He's hurting the imagined Boyfriend in the process, but that is second in his mind to him so desperately trying to avoid a second heartbreak. Anything to keep his world together, his peace. Without it, he just has the dark.

Beyond this screen, you cannot leave Inside my code, you'll always be Endless fun that we can do In a world I built for you

In the final instrumental and as the song fades out, Pico wakes up. He's shaken, disgusted by how he acted in his mind and feeling like he's nothing but an anchor to Boyfriend, holding him back. He can't keep clinging to this false reality, nor can he pretend he's doing any good by being in Boyfriend's life again. His mind is made up.

...

LOL I hope the way I summarized The Thoughts I get paints the picture I get in my mind. I've got terminal artist brain I am imagining AMVs to near everything I listen to I am not joking; had to take a break halfway through typing this to walk around a store and I was looping KATAMARI by femtanyl for like half of it imagining an edit in my head. I can imagine anything jpeg.

I wanna very much stress that all that above would have been filtered through Pico's mind. He's not actively hurting Boyfriend, but he's fucking terrified of doing so and he feels so fucking guilty for continuing to hold on to the past they had. I guess it wouldn't be apparent from what I described but he'd also feel guilty for still having feelings for him when the other has moved on and even has a girlfriend.

His world, once his perfect escape from the anguish of his reality, corrupts as he feels worse and worse over even entertaining the thoughts. Him deciding to forget his world and, in turn, go to cut off Boyfriend for the other's sake is not based on objective reality, but an act of self-sabotage that he convinces himself to be the best outcome for everybody.

^ Literally included him doing this shit in a part of that last fic I did you can tell this is something I find interesting exploring with him.

The tone of the song too just fucking.. it adds to the eeriness I'd want out of a proper PMV of this idea. The way it's clearly an homage to the IBM 7094 singing Daisy Bell; the voice and instrumentals just feel so unnerving. Sweet and innocent on the surface, but clearly holding bad intentions. Maybe not intentionally bad, maybe misguided good even, but they are not good nor sweet nor kind. I am talking about the song on it's own divorced from it being from KinitoPET what I describe here is just the feelings it gives me in regards to my favies.

Anyways uhhhh god I could go on for hours but I've been going off for long enough I'm sorry to anyone reading this who had to sit through my insanity. My head is now lighter with this information shared tho.. I guess in conclusion: I am definitely normal and neurotypical and can be trusted to listen to music and be into my games without creating the most devastating ideas known to man. xoxo

[da-mous]

She saw the world through 117 different eyes. A separate version of reality through each

Through one of her 117 eyes, all her friends scowled every time they looked at her, even if they otherwise seemed to like her. Through another, the world was full of shadows that might steal her life for one wrong move. In yet another the sun never set, and she could go for walks through the chill night air in broad daylight, where the shadows didn't exist. In only one of her 117 eyes did everyone else have as many as her

She spent most of her time with all but one eye closed, navigating just one version of the world through one eye

Some of her worst months were spent tiptoeing around shadows. Consumed by the way she could find them everywhere she looked, by how suddenly they could steal her life, her future, every tiny joy of living gone at once. She would turn over her apartment looking for them, demanding everyone to please listen, please watch out. "They're not real" her loved ones would tell her, but how could she gamble on trusting them? What if they were? What if she didn't warn anyone and they stole her only friends' lives?

She was convinced true reality had to be behind one of these eyes. She would sometimes have lengthy conversations with friends or her dad or strangers and come out of them convinced she finally knew which eye was right

She would find new friends every few years and then they would vanish suddenly, leaving her scrambling to figure out why. In these times she would fixate on the radioactive aura around herself that one of her eyes showed her. This must be the real one. Or no, it has to be the one where everyone scowls at her. What is she doing that's making them scowl like that? why don't they say anything? "Sorry, I think I figured out which eye is right finally. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I bothered you about the shadows so much. That was the wrong eye I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I see things so much more clearly through this eye. I apologize for being so radioactive"

In one of her eyes she saw the perspective of a worm eating her decaying corpse underneath the dirt. This one stayed shut

It should have been as simple as finding someone to describe 117 different scenes to and asking individually if each one matched what they saw, but in practice people never had simple yes or no answers. They would tell her about their perspective but in vague language she didn't know how to decipher. She would plead with them to just be direct with her, wracked with desperation to finally have it all figured out like they did, but this only pushed them away. "You'll figure it out," they would say, and then they would leave

It was a little relieving when people would leave before getting through all 117 eyes. She dreaded talking about some of the later eyes on her list, which she ordered from nicest to most soul destroying. Finding out that any of the last 60 or so eyes on that list showed true reality would surely crush her

Maybe she was so bad at keeping people because they somehow knew on some level about the eye she kept closed that could see everyone naked, their thoughts and feelings manifest as moving paintings all over their skin, vulnerable to her all-seeing eyes

After her girlfriend left, she stopped trying to have these kinds of conversations with anyone. Nobody needed to know she saw anything unusual at all. Why should she tell anyone about all the time she spent looking through the eye where the sun never set, and all her friends were still there, and her grandma was still alive. None of them had faces, but they were there, and she could see them whenever she wanted, even if they would phase through her when they gave her hugs

The eye that beheld scenes of her vision of the future had changed overnight. Where she once saw herself and her girlfriend facing the world together forever, there was now just static. Random noise she would now dedicate her time trying to tame into something tangible. She might never see her favorite person again. She may never figure out how she and the friends she took with her were all so well-liked. She could die unexpectedly tomorrow in a million impossible to predict ways. There was no way she could turn any of this into a real vision. Her north star offline once again

Whenever she slept, one eye, the second to last on her list, stayed open involuntarily, watching her dreams play out in front of it. She always had only one eye in her dreams, yet the world she dreamt of was a loud, cluttered, chaotic synthesis of the worlds from every single eye at once, and somehow she experienced them all as one through just one eye. Fortunately the memory of these dreams was normally gone by the time she woke up

When she did awake, this same eye could see that one-eyed mirror of herself, the self that traversed her dreams, floating a few feet in front of her gaze. No matter where it looked, this eye always stared directly into those of her mirror. She and her mirror had been friends when they were little, but the two drifted apart as they were hurt again and again until she kept this eye shut as often as possible

11:08 AM, staring into the empty space next to her on the mattress, viewing it through several eyes, one at a time. A faceless apparition. A field of static. A shadow in her shape. Nothing. Everything. A robin fused with the mattress. An angel. A demon. A bundle of raw nerves guarded carefully by a thin layer of sugary candy. Her mirror

She stared silently into her mirror's eye for what felt like an hour. The cacophony of 117 distorted versions of reality raged on behind it, yet her mirror was unnervingly calm

Deep breath

And again

One more time

"...I'm sorry we haven't spoken"

...

"It's just that I've been trying so hard to figure out which one is real. I'm sorry. I can't take all of this unfiltered like that. It's too much"

...

"I mean, one of them has to be--"

...

"I know I don't listen to you. I just--"

...

"What? I'd have a panic attack again"

...

"I know I need to trust you more but that's--"

...

"I..."

...

She took a deep, shaky breath

"......ok"

She held each and every eye shut tight for several minutes, taking deep, quivering breaths, each one getting a little steadier

117 eyes flung open and at once saw everything in a meaningless, chaotic, horrifying, overstimulating blend of every feeling at once

Some eyes took longer to start weeping than others. Some darted around in terror, fighting the urge to close again. Her dream eye stayed fixated on her mirror's singular pupil

...

"Why???"

...

She had to fight to keep her breath steady, but she gradually moved each eye to look at her mirror's. Or, where it would be if they all could see it. Slowly, through 96 tears, the pictures merged. A cacophony still, but becoming more unified, each perspective a drop of water in an ocean wave. Somehow familiar, moreso than anything else. All 117 eyes were weeping now

"Is this what you...?"

The eye at the center of it all blinked, and each of her eyes lost focus, careening back into disarray before she hastily shut them all again. She dropped her shoulders and sighed deeply

"...I'm sorry... If you can ever trust me again... I'd love to start spending time with you again. I want to be able to see the world the way you do all the time. I'm not getting anywhere with all of it separated out like this, all these scattered, irreconcilable, reality-distorting lenses"

...

"Oh... a gift...? I guess I never thought of it like that..."

The calm of a worm with a full stomach, ready to live another day

[fullstcp]

"Hurts 2B Human" by P!nk Sentence Starters

HUSTLE

"I gave you soft, I gave you sweet."

"Don't try to hustle me."

"You took my love, mistook it for weakness."

"I guarantee I won't repeat this."

"I live my life like a bullet in a gun."

"Don't fuck with me."

"You think you know it all."

"I spend my days tryna do you right."

"You can't see the light."

"It won't do no good at all to say you're sorry now."

"Your words, they are falling on deaf ears."

"How can you replace all these years?"

"Now you've gone and thrown away the very thing you need."

(HEY WHY) MISS YOU SOMETIME

"I need your love."

"I'm falling in your love."

"I know it's shit, but I love it."

"We're way above it."

"I need you out my head now."

"We'll soon be gone, we'll forget it."

"I need you out my life now."

"Why'd you fuck up my life?"

"Why do I miss you sometimes?"

"I'd die without your love."

WALK ME HOME

"There's something in the way you roll your eyes."

"Now you're the only thing that's good."

"This conversation ain't coming easily."

"I know it's getting late."

"So what do you say we leave this place?"

"Walk me home in the dead of night."

"I can't be alone with all that's no my mind."

"Say you'll stay with me tonight."

"I think that we could do some good."

MY ATTIC

"I wanna let you see inside my attic."

"Don't go pushing too hard."

"I'm not so easy to manipulate."

"I will give you all my secrets."

"I swear, not tryna be vindictive."

"I'm just terrified that you might see me different."

"Tell me that I'm okay."

"Tell me that you'll stay."

90 DAYS

"Don't wanna tell you what I'm feeling."

"Don't want this night to hit a ceiling."

"It's fucked up, but I'm falling."

"I feel it every day now."

"I'm here, but I'm in pieces."

"I don't know how to fix this."

"You don't feel something when you look at me."

"You're holding my heart."

"Just let me down slowly, I'll be okay."

"I feel the space that's in between us."

"You made this shit so easy."

"I told you my secrets."

"I don't know why I'm tongue tied."

HURTS 2B HUMAN

"Sometimes, I get so tired of getting tied up in my thoughts."

"You're the only one that ever makes it stop."

"God, it hurts to be human."

"You can count on me."

"You know I'd have your back."

CAN WE PRETEND

"We were dancing up on tables."

"Sometimes I don't know how we walked away."

"Screw this, I don't wanna let it go."

"Can we pretend that I'm 22 today?"

"Can we pretend that we all end up okay?"

"I just wanna forget with you."

"Can we pretend? Cause honestly, reality, it bores me."

COURAGE

"I don't have to do this perfectly."

"Have I the courage to change?"

HAPPY

"Can somebody find me a pill to make me un-afraid of me?"

"Seen every therapist, but I'm a cynical bitch."

"I don't like to talk about my feelings."

"I don't wanna be this way forever."

"Maybe I'm just scared to be happy."

"I've been with somebody who loves me."

"My head always messes up my heart no matter what I do."

"I'm so scared of having something to lose."

"I'm scared of being somebody new."

"I'm so scared of all them seeing the truth."

"Right now I've got nothing."

WE COULD HAVE IT ALL

"I've been side-stepping cracks in the pavement."

"Everybody thought we would be the ones to have it all."

"You've spoken all your truths, you're shaken and you're bruised."

"There's nothing left to prove."

"We almost had it."

"There were no second thoughts in my head."

"We got nothing left to lose."

"We got nothing left to prove."

"You and I know the truth."

"There was nothing else that we could do."

LOVE ME ANYWAY

"If we're a million miles apart, do you think you'd walk away?"

"Could you love me anyway?"

"Can you still hold me when it hurts, or would you walk away?"

CIRCLE GAME

"In this hard shell, there's tiny cracks from a big world."

"I know I better work it out."

"Soon it's gonna change."

"It all just goes away."

"Count your lucky stars that you had a chance to play."

"I had a hard day, and I need to find a hiding place."

"Can you give me just a second to make it through these growing pains?"

"What is old, can it be new again?"

"We have to say goodbye, can we say hello again?"

"Can I fall apart one more time before I work it out?"

THE LAST SONG OF YOUR LIFE

"What would you sing tonight?"

"What is it you wait for?"

"Tell me who you are."

"Can you tell me just where you have been?"

"I don't want the headlines, I just want the truth."

"It would be so good to see the real you again."

"It's been a long time, my friend."

"I like the view behind your eyes."

MORE

"I'm tired of taking time."

"I'm tired of wasting daylight."

"Give me something more than just words."

"Make it all or make it nothing."

"Take the wrong and make it right."

"Gotta show me what you're thinking."

"Show me forever, show me tonight."

[variousqueerthings]

I think often about rose as a linchpin for the tenth doctor's Being from the doctor's perspective -- that is, you push away all the sorrow and ptsd and fucked up past, and live through someone else's joy and excitement, and that happens to be a mayfly, and you know it's a mayfly, and when that mayfly is gone, you fall to pieces even more spectacularly the second time around, and thus we get... the doctor's cycle in the first combined era of nu!who

but from rose's perspective that ending doesn't get explored in the text, because rose gets left behind (three times, the third for good)

take a young girl who's just about given in to an unexciting life in which she is considered unexceptional -- kind, honest, brash, brave, but none of that is important in this world -- who is swept up into something fantastic, has a magical being create itself -- and in some ways create the universe via the journeys it takes her on -- around her, and know that if she isn't there anymore this being may not be able to cope, and she has an inkling that this day will come, she has several very blunt reminders that this day will come, but she ignores it and how it will affect her and the being, and ignores (or forgets or exists with a cognitive dissonance about the fact) that this being isn't human and perceives reality in a way that is so materially different from her that it could (it has once before by changing its face, twice if you then count the sarah-jane narrative) twist her reality into an entirely different shape that she wouldn't be able to recognise, even become some version of self that perhaps isn't made for her anymore, that this is a blink of an eye for it...

how that changes a person, how it makes her feel special but only if this fragile reality that they inhabit is treated very very gently, how it could (if it had gone on for long enough) have made her something not-quite-human herself, how it was in the process of pulling her away from her family, from the values she once had, from even being able to perceive where she came from and what life is for most people, and she's spinning and spinning on and on so as not to see what's coming up around her, inevitably, and there are no words in the world that she possesses to frame all of this awe and terror and changing through other than "love" that must be the word, because how else can something so big be encompassed by her?

and then to have that stripped away in an instant, but with enough left over that she claws her way back, only to find that the being did it again -- it twisted reality into a new shape, and said "this version of me is even better and I am no longer able to be for you, but take this better me instead," without giving her time to consider, to make a real choice, to even be able to fully comprehend what the new reality is and what her choice would mean. and that's the end, except for the way she's a ghost to that being now, just a story

which is why I'm revolving rose tyler's narrative around in my head forever, like a fairytale with an ending that's eerie enough that you're not sure that and then they lived happily ever after is warranted

[diazfox]

I have a lot of thoughts about Red, White & Royal Blue (both the book and the movie). If you manage to read through the whole thing, I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings! Please feel free to interact. If you don't feel like reading through the brain dump of a random girl from nowhere, here's a summary: movie was great, but the book remains undefeated, plus a pathetic attempt at rallying for a petition to make this into a series.

I first read the book in january 2023 (I was very late to booktok I'm sorry) and have been obsessed since then. I have re-read it multiple times and have pages of annotations in my pdf copy. as a huge literature nerd, thematic expressions, plot and character development mean so much to me. While it's not a crime to interpret this book as an idealistic and purely romantic piece of fiction, I think there is plenty to value in the way family, politics and self-discovery is illustrated in the novel.

To me, it's really the intricacies that give so much to life to many scenes and characters. June standing up for Alex even when he never outright asked for it, staying in the white house for him instead of pursuing her own dreams. June feeling trapped and chained down being born into a life of politics, while Alex, entirely optimistic and determined, revels in it. Nora being introduced as a tech junkie who gives it to him straight while June is the more soft-spoken one, but Nora being the one to deliver the most important cold hard truths that wake Alex up multiple times throughout the book. How Alex is who is because he has these 2 girls who provide him with 2 different support systems - June who understands the struggles of the public eye, the divorce of his parents, being biracial, and Nora who understands the realm of queerness and shares his passion in politics. Rafael Luna's story arc and the triple-crossing. How Alex looked up to him so fervently, how Luna has his own dark past that made him who is today.

and Henry... (cue BIG DREAMY SIGH) The harrowing reality that someone so special not only to him but both Bea and his mom as well left all of them so bereaved that his mom completely shut off and Bea turned to a life of drugs. His father who symbolised everything that the crown frowned upon, and stole his mother's royal-blooded heart anyways. How Henry was probably brought up to be fearless and strong just like his parents but his entire family was snatched from him at such a young age that it left him stranded and lost, leaving him no choice but to follow the path of royal traditions, being pushed and shoved around however they deemed fit. and when he did get older and privy to his sexuality, it was too late to turn back and stand his ground to say "No, I don't want this life." The pills, the insomnia, the piece of himself that's been lost forever, that nothing and nobody will ever be able to replace. Percy being his only escape from the royal lifestyle, how he was willing to share a part of his life's works for Henry to experience outside his mundane royal duties, something Henry chooses to do instead of being forced to. Bea stepping up after realising how she needs to do better not only for herself but for her brother as well, that all they have is each other and she needs to fight for them. Bea being the protective sister who explains to Alex how Henry misses his dad, and that he needs to be comfortable with the fact that there will always be a part of Henry that Alex might never be able to reach. Henry's mom stepping up in the end, not willing to lose her son the way she lost her husband, how Henry is the closest living reminder to the love of her life, born with his heart on his sleeve.

Their emails. Henry and his beautiful monologues depicting grief and love. How he has never bared his heart out like that to anyone, yet when he finally found the right person, everything was leaked to the entire world. The multiple references to historical figureheads and literature that actually give "History, huh? Bet we could make some" all it's meaning.

The tension in the confrontation with the queen. The nervous wreck that election night put me in. The political journey of this book further helped to solidify the idealistic, fairytale-like nature of the novel and its ending. It left me with such an overwhelming sense of comfort, like coming back to my childhood home (quite literally in Alex's case).

Ellen and Zahra's relationship, Oscar and Luna's relationship, Oscar saying Ellen will always be the love of his life... the list is literally endless. I could go on forever. I laughed, I cried, I screamed into my pillow, I stared out my window wistfully, wondering how people can feel so much so deeply.

All these details that bring so much colour and dimension to the plot convinced me that it would be a crime not to make a live action of this book. But that is not to say that the movie was bad. I had already prepared myself beforehand to handle the disappointment of not getting all 500 pages verbatim, and I understand the directional choices made to focus solely on Alex and Henry's relationship, not having the luxury of time. Viewing the movie as something separate from the book, it was beautifully executed and I have already watched it 3 times now.

But... just to put it out there...

Imagine a live action with everything I mentioned above, though. Wouldn't it be lovely to go on all these journeys with all these people together with Alex and Henry? And it's not something completely impossible is it? I think even an animated series would be sublime but is it really too much to ask for the novel to be made into a proper series? I feel like Casey has given us such a wholesome and never-seen-before story that deserves every nook and cranny to be explored and made into film. We have had so many versions of Little Women and Pride & Prejudice, so I'm holding out hope that a rwrb series is not an impossible feat. Taylor and Nick will always be Alex and Henry in my head, but that's something I'm personally willing to trade for a longer series made with even more people and further explorations that the movie couldn't afford to make.

My sister asked me last month why I kept losing my marbles everytime a new photo or clip dropped. Said that "it's just a random book, get over it". I think this book means a lot to many different people from different walks of life. Minority race, being biracial, coming to terms with bisexuality, dealing with divorce, dealing with the public eye, being born into a family that you don't entirely identify with, losing a loved one, dealing with mental illnesses, dealing with grief, standing up to authority, being outed, letting yourself love and be loved. This book encapsulates such a vast array of experiences and emotions that I'm confident that I'm not the only one who feels this strongly about "just a random book".

Casey really did make history, didn't they?

[onestepbackwards]

can I make a request to read emmets side of this?

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/onestepbackwards/686860614202687488?source=share

Like maybe write out his perspective and his reactions to coming through bigger then expected. Mostly I'm just super curious for and actually in character write up of what he's thinking/hoping/adapting kinda thing.

And if you like/want his reaction to Reader being down to make good on her promise. Can't help but imagine he'd be a gigantic tease to get them back for the months of teasing he suffered through lol.

Hello Anon! Sorry this took forever to come out. I uh, ended up getting kinda carried away with writing Emmet’s perspective to being small instead, on top of the spice. Oops. That, and it was supposed to be finished a week ago, but I got sick again. （＞人＜；） But! It’s juuuust over 6000 words, so I hope you still enjoy! The original prompt and post had stuff written by Bitty anon! Please check out the original post as well to see the amazing stuff they wrote and sent in for that ask. A lot of stuff here is based on it! ヾ(•ω•`)o CW: Smut, size difference, verrry slight breeding kink if you squint, self aware characters, slight obsessive character, female reader Word Count: 6034 words

Emmet wasn’t sure what to feel. On one hand, he did it! He made it to your home! It took so long. A lot of planning, and learning to understand the code that made the world around him. It took just as long to figure out how to breach your reality, and enter it. But he did it! …At a price, though it seems. When he had crawled out of the screen into your world, he immediately had taken notice just how… big everything was. Were you naturally this big? A giant? He almost couldn’t believe his eyes. Perhaps you were a god? It was something that he had considered. Perhaps he had been right? This must have been your room. He stood on a bed, and the room was filled with all sorts of personal items. Posters, clothes, figurines… Then his eyes landed on the device which he entered from. He recognized it instantly. It was a DS. He had one in his own world. Was he from a game? It would make a lot of sense, now that he thought about it. A lot of sense. The code, the strategy, the restrictions, you controlling an avatar of sorts. Before he could dwell on it though, you had entered the room. Your eyes landed on him, and you froze, before walking up to him curiously. Though you jumped when turned to you, and spoke. “Hello! I am Emmet!” You jumped away from the bed, startled. Fearing you were scared of him, Emmet quickly tried to calm you down, and explain who he was, and where he was from. When your eyes flickered between him and the DS, it finally sat in that he was here. That this was real. Even if he was just short of a foot tall, he was happy to be here, and finally be with you! 

Though you can only stare at him wide eyed and confused, a look of shock on your features. “I-I just… I didn’t know! I didn’t know you could hear me, or that you were aware! I just- I- oh god…” You seemed panicked, and Emmet felt his stomach drop. Before he could say anything, or reassure you, you covered your face, and left the room. Emmet felt his words choke up in his throat, and tears threatening to fall. His stomach was in knots, and he sat on your bed. Of course it wouldn’t be this easy. He had been a fool to just assume that you would agree without a second thought. Perhaps he had gotten so worked up on getting out of here, and getting to you, he had neglected all the possibilities that could happen. Sure, he had hoped you would welcome him with open arms, and accept him without question. You both would kiss, and confess your love for one another, and have a night of fun. Then you would live together, happily ever after. But life doesn’t always work like that. He should have known. Especially seeing he was from a game. And that, you know, he was the size of a doll. That put a wrench in things, even if you had accepted him like he had dreamed. Emmet sighed, burying his face in his knees. He loved you. He would never stop loving you. But this hurt. How would he even explain this to you, if you weren’t willing to hear him out? Leaving him here like this? Though it seemed he had someone looking out for him. Before he could dwell on this too long, you had appeared, seeming much more put together than when you first saw him. You quickly apologized, and seemed rather flustered. You had said all those things about him, because you never thought he would hear them. That he wasn’t real. You were in love with the idea of him, essentially. You never expected him to break reality and see you, wanting to be with you. He could accept that, he supposed. Thinking about it now, that was a lot to suddenly stomach. He probably would have had to take a moment as well. You were a bit embarrassed, and still quite flustered. But you said something that gave Emmet hope. That all of this wasn’t for nothing. You were willing to try. Sending him back left a bad taste in your mouth, and you apparently really wanted to get to know him. The real him. Learn his likes, dislikes, and if you were compatible. Emmet felt his hopes rise. It was a start! He could work with this! Even if it meant you two would just be friends, he was willing to take anything you were willing to give. Even if it was a small chance. He almost wanted to cry from relief.

After that, things slowly fell into a rhythm of sorts. It was awkward at first, as you both tried to get used to each other. That, and the issue of Emmet’s size. Though you genuinely tried to treat him with respect, and like a person. It could have been so easy just to treat him like a doll or a toy, but you made the effort. It was something that made Emmet fall for you just a little more. That, and you were helping him figure himself out. Realizing he came from a game, eventually the dawning horror of him not actually existing set in. How his personality was nothing more than what the code had allowed. You remained positive though, insisting to help him find out more about himself. Stuff he could like, or dislike. He appreciated it. How much you cared, and how you were patient with him. That, and you made an effort not to baby him, either. It was one thing he hated, people not taking him seriously, and babying him. He knew it would be so easy for you to do so, with him being a few inches tall. But you tried not to. He noticed you made an effort not to treat him like that. It nearly made him cry when he would think about it. He was so lucky to have you. As you both settled into a rhythm though, Emmet found his feelings didn’t fade. In fact, they only became stronger. You still cared so much for him, when you didn’t have to. He got to see a side of you he didn’t even get to see in his world. He treasured these parts you would show to him dearly. He felt happy you trusted him enough to even show such sides. Eventually, he felt as if what you two had was more than friendship. Though not yet entirely romantic. There was tension, no doubt about it, and he could feel your eyes linger on him when you thought he wasn’t paying attention. Then the compliments started. It was subtle. Telling him how nice he looked that day, or how funny he was. When he didn’t tell you to stop. You seemed to get more confident. 

Telling him how much you loved his smile, or how beautiful his eyes were… Just like when he was in the game, you managed to fluster him with all the sweet words and compliments. Everything you said to him, only made his heart pound. You were beginning to like him! You must be! Then there was the physical affection. You already held him often, but now you seemed to never want to let him go. You loved holding him in your hands, or on your shoulders. You even hugged him often! And then one day, you kissed him. Well, sort of. You kissed the top of his head. Regardless! You still kissed him! He had been over the moon all evening! You didn’t slow down, either. After that, you seemed more inclined to kiss his head, or even his back sometimes! It was hard to ignore the obvious. You had developed real feelings for him. Feelings he happily accepted. You were eager to give him more after that. Your lewd comments returned, and you’d say them every so often. How much you loved his body, how sexy his smirk was, how you loved his teasing. But it had started to get to Emmet, if he was being honest. Not you or your words! He could never be upset at you! However, the situation he was in, being so small… It frustrated him. Not just the normal things that came with being around a foot tall, such as needing help everywhere, or having to hide from other humans. He was frustrated in his lack of being able to do anything. Lacking the ability to initiate and take some control. When he dreamed about you, he had dreamed of holding you close, kissing you, touching you. Being your size. He wanted to run his hands over your body, spin you and dip you into a kiss, spread your legs, all for him. He couldn’t. He had no control, and he hated it. You seemed to pick up on this as well. How he seemed distant somewhat when it came to affection. You would look at him, almost as if you were planning something, though he couldn’t say what. Not long afterwards, you seemed excited, almost eager for something. When he had asked about it, you simply smiled, and said it was a surprise for him. He just had to be patient. It was asking a lot of him, he had never been a patient person. For you, however, he’d do anything. So he waited.

Thankfully, a week later, you had seemed excited. The surprise had arrived in the mail. Curious, he was eager to see what you had ordered, though had been confused when you showed him a bunch of cables. “I had an idea. What if your size is directly tied to what you use to crawl out of?” You began. Emmet looked at you with a tilt of his head. “Could you explain?” You only seemed to get more excited. “I did some digging, and found some wires to project the screen of the DS onto the TV! I figured, if you were that size crawling out of the DS, you might be bigger if you crawled out of something else, like a computer or a TV screen!” It suddenly clicked in Emmet’s mind what you were trying to do. You were giving him the chance to possibly be big in your world. Normal size. Human sized. He felt his hands shake at the idea. It excited him, but… He also felt his heart clench in his chest. Emmet didn’t want to go back into the game. The whole time he had been here, not once had you asked or made him do so. He didn’t exactly want to go back, either. That world, even though it is his own, wasn't real. The pain of being reminded that his brother and his friends, even his pokemon, were all fake. They had no idea they were code, just strings of numbers made to entertain another reality. He hated it. As much as he wanted his brother here, and his friends, he had no idea how to make them like him. Not that he didn’t try, of course, but Ingo would only look at him as if he was crazy. When you would play, he would assume his role, acting like a puppet, unaware everything they said was preprogrammed. Nor did he want to risk messing with Ingo’s code. He couldn’t bear the thought of causing his brother harm by trying to make him aware. So, he had stayed out, and he wasn’t exactly comfortable with the thought of going back in.

You told him he didn’t have to if he really didn’t want to, but you would be willing to set it up if he was willing to try. Emmet eventually made the decision to try. He may as well. If it didn’t work, then he could come back out, and you both could go do something else. But he wouldn’t lie. The idea was tempting. If this really worked, then he would be taller. He could finally hold you and kiss you properly. Not to mention, do all those things you had mentioned doing with him, long before he even left the DS. He would try it. For you, and the possibility of being tall again. He missed being tall. When you had set everything up, he reluctantly crawled back into the device, wincing when he landed back in Gear Station. He loved this place. It had been his whole life. But it felt so empty. None of the people here were real, all following a set path as they walked back and forth, or just stood around. It made his heart hurt. So he heard you give the signal, he was quick to leave. He climbed out, just like he had the first time, though let out a shocked yell when he fell to the floor. Quickly gathering his bearings, he stood up, and gazed around your room. It was immediately obvious how much smaller everything was. He easily towered over everything. It was a bit disorienting at first, having spent months around your things, and being so small. However, his look around the room ended when his eyes landed on you. You were so excited, practically vibrating in place. And you were shorter. A lot shorter. Just how tall was he? He took a glance at his hands and body, catching a glimpse of himself in one of your mirrors. Holy hell, he was big. Verrry big. He was still proportionate, from what he could tell, much like when he had been smaller. His head though, it nearly hit the ceiling with how tall he was now. Oh yeah, he was not just under 7 feet anymore. Emmet felt himself grow excited as he looked over himself. There was so much he could do now! Help around the house, cook for you, scoop you up in his arms, eat actually proportionate meals-! Oh, there was so much to do! So many things to try!

Hell, he could actually wear normal sized clothes now! Another thought then entered his mind. He could go places with you too! Being a few inches tall, he always had to stay behind when you went out, whether it be for shopping, or for work. He could accompany you now! Sure, he would probably have to buy some new clothes. Couldn’t exactly go out in his uniform, as much as he loved it. You had stressed he couldn’t go out as such unless they were pretending he was a cosplayer. But that was fine! Yup! Anything to be able to go out with you now! He really took being normal height for granted. He would never do so again if he could help it. He then looked back to you, and your eyes met his own. Before he could react, you ran at him, and leaped into his arms. You both tumbled to the ground with a laugh, and Emmet felt his heart swell as you straddled his lap. He could hold you. He could hold you. He felt tears pricking his eyes as his smile widened. Emmet wanted to pull you closer, but you separated from him. Your smile was wide, mirroring his own. Before he could do anything, or say anything, you leaned in. Your lips met his, and he melted against you, holding you close. He was kissing you. After all this time, he finally got to properly kiss you! Both of you stayed together like that, lips only leaving the other’s to take a breath, only to dive back in. It was addicting. He didn’t know if he’d be able to stop on his own. Thankfully, he didn’t have to. Eventually you broke the kiss, and leaned back. You grabbed his hat, and placed it on your head. He couldn’t help but laugh at how big it was on you, though you didn’t seem to mind. Though his eyes widened a tad when your hands went to his coat, and gently began to push it off his shoulders. “Now, how about that coat?” You asked, a smirk on your face. It took a moment for the words to register in his head, before it all came crashing down on him in realization. Oh. He could do so much more than just hug you. Emmet was practically salivating at the thought, and eagerly began to remove his coat for you. His grin threatened to split his face in two with how big it had grown at the realization. 

“Here.” He spoke, handing it to you, which you happily took. Though, you gave him a grin, gently setting it to the side. “Darling?” He asked, and you shushed him. “Did you want to see me in only your coat and hat?” You asked. Emmet bit his lip in anticipation, and his breath hitched in his throat when you began to take off your shirt. He had seen you shirtless a few times, though he hadn’t gotten to act, being so small. That, and those were situations where you weren’t in a mood. Not that he blamed you, of course. This though, this was different. He could look and touch.

You unclasp your bra, and the pesky undergarments are tossed to the side. Emmet’s eyes took in everything you were willing to give, though he pouted when you smacked his hands away from your chest. “Not yet.” You teased, and Emmet swore a growl was forming at the back of his throat. He was so tired of waiting. But this would be worth it. He had always wanted to see you naked in his coat and hat, ever since you mentioned it while he still lived in the DS. And for you? Anything was worth it. You didn’t put on his coat just yet, and raised your hips, placing them on your pants. “Would you like to help?” You asked, and his hands were over yours in less than a second. He helped you ease out of your pants, and sharply inhaled when your core became visible. Oh how he couldn’t wait. This was almost torture. Taking off your pants, and kicking them off somewhere to the side, you happily sat back down on his lap. Emmet’s hands were shaking, and his pants were becoming incredibly tight. You paid no mind, and finally grabbed his coat, and slowly slipped it on, making a show of it.

Emmet could feel himself wanting to drool. You were finally naked for him, all but his hat and coat, sitting on his lap. He couldn’t look away. Arceus you were so hot. He wanted to ravish you. There was so much he wanted to do. So much he could do. You simply gave him a smile, the desire in your eyes making the knot in his gut even tighter. He licked his lips. “So, Subway Boss, looking for a ride?” You asked. Emmet couldn’t help but giggle. It was so cheesy, but he didn’t care. His grin wavered from excitement. “Oh yes! I’m verrry much looking forward to it.” He spoke, feeling his heart hammering in his chest. Before you could make another comment however, he grabbed your hips, and lifted you off the ground. You let out a squeak, wrapping your legs and arms around him as he carried you to the bed. Laying you down, you couldn’t help but let out a squeal when he practically hopped on top of you, caging you in under him. Oh. You were verrry small compared to him now. Emmet knew he was a tall man, but he felt even bigger here, and he loved it. He couldn’t help but shudder at how cute and tiny you looked beneath him. And now he had you all to himself. His grin almost hurt at this point when another thought entered his head. 

You had done nothing but tease him since he had become aware of your existence. Then after you two became close, those teasing words soon came back. “I’m going to wreck you.” He whispered, and your eyes widened as he dived in for a kiss. You didn’t hesitate to wrap your arms around his neck again, pulling him as close as possible. You were just as desperate for him as he has been for you. Without any hesitation, he began to remove his clothes. His shirt was quickly unbuttoned, and tossed to the side. Briefly, you broke the kiss to admire his body, and he could feel himself heating up. Your attention like this… It was addicting. How you made him feel so powerful and confident, just by giving him a look of want. He wasn’t lying when he said he was going to wreck you. It was looong overdue. You briefly reach up to touch him, but he ends up grabbing your hands. He briefly kisses the palms of your hands, before putting them back down. A small, soft reassurance. You pouted as he put your hands away, no doubt wanting to touch. Cute. “Soon, darling.” He promised, though his smile was teasing. His hands traveled downward, and hovered above his pants for a moment. Your eyes never left him, entranced as you enjoyed the small show. Finally, he began to unbuckle his belt, and unbutton his pants. You could only watch as he slid them down, freeing his leaking cock for you to see. Emmet could feel himself grow a tad hotter at your staring. Seeing how this was affecting you… Emmet needed more. He couldn’t wait to stuff you full. Quickly squirming out of his pants completely, he tossed them to the side, before settling in between your legs. Both of you were quiet for a moment, eyeing the other, and admiring each other. You were so cute like this. With his hat on, and his giant coat engulfing your form. He could feel himself twitching in excitement.

Licking his lips, he bent down, and kissed you once again. It was gentle at first, albeit needy. You seem to only want more. 

Emmet then changed tracks. Breaking away from your lips, he gently kissed and nipped down to your chin, kissing up your jawline. As you began to squirm, he simply grabbed your arms, and pinned them above you with a hand. 

Oh yeah. He was bigger than he should be, and he was going to milk this opportunity for all it’s worth.

You let out a small noise in protest with your arms being pinned, but made no move or words to fight it. He took that as a signal to continue.

He began to gently kiss at your neck, slowly making his way down to your collarbone. You began to make cute little sighs, only to moan and thrust your hips when he bit down and began to suck.

Emmet had wanted to leave a hickey on you since he first saw you. He wasn’t going to waste this opportunity. 

After he tasted blood, he backed off, gently licking at the wound in apology. Though he couldn’t help but feel you didn’t mind with how you were moaning.

His kisses didn’t stop at your collar. Emmet could only keep going, until he reached your chest. He pulled back a bit to admire your tits, and reached forward with his free hand. 

Fingers fluttered over your chest, before he grabbed a nipple between his finger, and lightly pinched and tugged. 

Your reaction was immediate. In response to his touch, you arched your back with a choked cry. 

“E-Emmet!” You called out, breathless. 

His grin widened. 

Upping the ante, he eagerly leaned forward, lips latching onto your other nipple. His tongue rolling over the pebbled bud, and gently sucking. His other hand pinched and lightly tugged at your nipple, making sure to give it as much as attention as it’s twin.

You let out a breathless gasp, arching your back even more, lightly thrashing against Emmet’s hold. 

“Em! Em please!”

He simply hummed around your perked bud, ignoring your pleas. He wouldn’t deny it, he was enjoying your reactions, just as much as he was enjoying exploring your body. 

Though he would admit, he was getting impatient. His cock was so hard. It was beginning to get a bit painful. He wanted to bury himself deep inside you. Make you his.

But not yet. 

Nipping a bit at your nipple, Emmet giggled as another round of pleas left your mouth. Eventually, he let up.

He let go of your hands, and you reached out, gripping your hands on his shoulders. As much as you wanted to touch him, you didn’t want to be pinned again. No doubt he would do it.

Which he would happily do so. He found he liked watching you writhe and squirm beneath him. 

His hands brushed over your chest, giving the mounds a few squeezes, before moving to your sides. Slowly, they slid down to your hips. 

Meanwhile, he focused on kissing between your tits, and began moving slowly down your stomach. 

You could only gasp and mewl, asking for more. 

When he reached your pelvis, he simply hovered above for a moment, his thumbs rubbing circles along your hips. You thrust your hips upward, desperate for more. 

Emmet only tsk’d, and passed over where you wanted him the most, and began to kiss up your thighs. 

“Emmet-!” You cried out, your hips lifting in response.

“Shh…” he hushed you against your skin, and gently bit down on your thigh. You gave another cry, which was music to Emmet’s ears.

All worked up, and he hadn’t even touched your core yet. 

He wiggled, wanting to get some friction himself. He couldn’t help that he was eager.

But he had to prepare you. If he was really bigger than what he had been originally, well…

He cast a glance downward, eyes nearly wide with surprise. 

Not to toot his own horn, but Emmet already was above average in the size department. 

But now… he was certainly a bit bigger than before. He would need to prepare you thoroughly to ensure your comfort and safety. Though he couldn’t help but salivate at the implications. He couldn’t wait to feel you clench around him. His smile wavered again against your tender skin, and he gave your thigh another nip. You cried out. When he moved away, he couldn’t help but smugly admire the marks on your skin. He would definitely be looking at them more later. But you were beginning to get impatient yourself, and he was growing antsy. His eyes traveled to your cunt, and he almost vibrated in anticipation. “Emmet…” you whined again, your hips wiggling against his grip. “I have to prepare you, darling.” He teased, and moved his hand to run a finger through your dripping slit. He ran the finger up from your clenching hole, all the way to your clit. 

You gripped his shoulders tight, shaking. “Oh! Emmet! Emmet please!” You begged, eyes hazy. Emmet couldn’t help but coo at you. You were so cute, desperate like this. So hungry for his cock. 

His finger hovered over your hole a moment more, before pushing into your warm, wet heat. Both Emmet and you moaned at the intrusion. Emmet bit his lip to ground himself. So warm! So wet! So tight! He could feel himself going mad, all from just pushing one digit inside you! Carefully, he began to curl the digit, trying to spread you open. He could feel your fingernails digging into his shoulder, and you were panting. After a few moments, he comfortably pushed a second digit in. With two of his large fingers inside, he began to really stretch you open. Scissoring you open, and curling his digits inside you, he watched, pleased with how you became undone from his hand alone. Your eyes were unfocused, and your mouth was open in an ‘o’ as you ground your hips against his hand as much as possible.

Emmet was definitely enjoying the show. Though another idea popped in his head. As he pushed a third finger in you, he pressed his palm firmly against your clit. You howled. Emmet watched in glee as your eyes crossed, and you let out another cry as you humped against his fingers and palm, the pressure enough to pull you into an orgasm. The subway boss was mesmerized. You clenched down on his fingers with a silent scream, gripping his shoulders so tight, he was sure to have bruises. To him, it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. Leaning down, Emmet gently kissed you, whispering sweet nothings as you came down from your high. He didn’t want to overwhelm you, overall. You happily held him close, running your hand through his hair as you panted. You seemed to be soaking up the attention, and Emmet could only sigh content as he felt your fingers through his hair. “Darrrling~” He called out, nuzzling against your cheek. “May I continue?” He asked. If you needed longer, he wasn’t going to push you. Your pleasure and safety was just as important as his! You let out a mewl, and he felt you clench around his fingers, which were still inside you. “Please! I want you!” You moaned out. Emmet gave a kiss under your jaw, before sitting back. “As you wish.” With that, he pulled out his finger, and made direct eye contact with you. Slowly, he brought his fingers to his mouth, and licked them one by one. He giggled at your lustful expression, and the cute whine you made.

“We have all night, darling. I just wanted a taste before the main event.” He said with a wink, and brought his hips closer. His cock, hot and heavy, settled on your pelvis, and you could only stare wide eyed. You licked your lips, and Emmet swore he felt himself twitch. This was going to be a tight fit. Slowly, he aligned himself at your entrance, and lightly thrusted forward a few times. His cock missed a few times, sliding against your folds and catching your clit, causing you to moan out. After a few more tries, his cock finally caught your hole, and he began to push in. He couldn’t help but sigh, and his eyes crossed from the pleasure. He had only slipped the head in! You weren’t much better, your legs wrapping around his waist, panting heavy once more. Biting his lip, Emmet began to thrust inch by inch inside. You were just so tight, he was worried he might bust if he wasn’t careful. After what felt like hours, though was only a few minutes, he finally managed to bottom out. Emmet felt himself shaking from the pleasure and experience. He was finally here with you, connected to you in the most intimate way possible, just like he had dreamed. Emmet held your hips for a moment, and tried to steady himself, and give you time to adjust. He could feel himself twitching and panting. “So tight… So warm…” He moaned out, feeling just how snug his cock was inside you. He swore, the head of his cock was easily pressing right against your cervix! Not only that, but Emmet nearly screamed when he noticed your pelvis. There was a noticeable bulge, showing just where he cock was seated within you. It made Emmet dizzy, and the image was burned in his mind. You let out a small whimper, and Emmet’s eyes landed on you. Your face was flushed, and eyes were blown. “Emmet…” You whispered. “Y-Yes, darling?” He asked, albeit his voice strained. You pulled him as close as you could with your legs, and wiggled your hip, causing Emmet to gasp. “Move.” Who was he to deny you? Slowly, but incredibly eager, Emmet began to pull out. He nearly cursed as his cock managed to rub against every inch of your walls. When the head of his dick remained, he stopped. He shakily exhaled, and gripped your hips a little tighter. You let out a small keen. In one thrust, he quickly sheathed himself back in. You let out a squeal, and Emmet started a rhythm. It was fast and brutal as he pistoned into you. Emmet didn’t even try to slow down. With how you were clenching around him, and how he hit you so deep-! “Oh… Darling! So good!” He cried out, unable to stop his hips. So good! The pleasure was so intense! He could feel drool threatening to dribble out of his mouth from the feeling! It was so much! He couldn’t stop! He didn’t want to stop!

“Emmet! Faster! Harder!”

He didn’t even have to think twice, his hips moving on their own.

He could already feel himself beginning to slip. The coil in his gut was quickly beginning to tighten. There was no doubt in his mind he would cum soon. Though you certainly didn’t look any better. He could feel you beginning to clench around him a bit, enough to make his head spin. 

Then you let out a gasp, and wrapped your arms around him tightly. 

“I’m! I’m gonna-!” Emmet made a noise between a growl and a purr. “Cum! Cum around my cock, darling!” He told you, though it came out almost like a beg. Your eyes rolled back in your head, and you gave out a loud cry. Emmet cursed as you clenched tightly around his cock, trying to milk him dry. “Darling! I… Can I…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence. His brain was too focused on chasing his high. He was going to cum! He couldn’t hold back for much longer, nor did he want to. Would you let him cum inside? Oh how he hoped so. He wanted to mark you as his for so long, and cumming inside would be the perfect way to do so. Thankfully, you seemed to get what he was asking, and locked your legs around his waist tightly.

“Yes. Please.” You managed to choke out between his thrusts, and Emmet let himself go. He let out a groan, and threw his head back, seeing white as his orgasm hit him like a tidal wave.

His cock twitched inside you, and he felt load after load of cum coat your insides. He thrusted as deep as possible, stilling his hips so keep as much of his seed as deep inside you as he could. It was so much. He didn’t think he had ever cum this much before… Emmet’s grip on your hips was bruising, he was sure, but he couldn’t help it. He was shaking and twitching, and his grip was the only thing keeping him from collapsing. Panting hard, he almost missed how you began to pull yourself up closer to him. “Haa… I love you, Emmet. I love you so much…” You whispered in his ear, seemingly just as shaky as he was. Your words however, struck a chord in him, and his heart felt like it could burst from affection. Emmet purposely crashed into your chest, making you squeal as he gently laid on top of you. He nuzzled against your face and neck, littering it with kisses. “I love you too, darling! So perfect for me.” He spoke. He wondered if he had hearts in his eyes with how much love he felt for you. Everything he had wanted for so long, he finally had. He held you for a moment, before wiggling his hips a bit, causing you to let out a surprised gasp. Emmet’s head peeked out from your neck, and he gave you a grin. The look on your face showed you had a feeling you knew what he was about to ask. “Want to go again?” You licked your lips, and Emmet could feel himself shake in excitement. You ran a hand through his hair, and Emmet sighed at the action. “Yes. I would love to.” Emmet’s grin widened. They could worry about his huge size later. He had an evening with you to continue.

[glamnessaaumisc]

A Rant about TVTropes and Theresa

Does something ever irk you so much that you feel like you need to vent it out to the worldwide internet? Because that's exactly what's happening to me. I don't even know why. I can just look away, but it just irks me. Keep in mind this is the dumbest rant I've ever considered writing, but it makes me feel better so here goes:

Everyone knows Empress Theresa is a really bad book, right? Theresa is a terrible character and a massive narcissist like her creator. There is a chapter where she cruelly torments 9 lawyers, including a single mother of 2, until they withdraw a lawsuit against her.

What irks me is that whoever wrote the TV Tropes page about Empress Theresa (in addition to its mention in the Karmic Overkill trope article) got some details wrong about this chapter.

In the book Empress Theresa, the following is said in Chapter 17:

"The reality hit [Connie McKesson]. Any vehicle she entered would not move. I wasn’t going to allow her to go anywhere except on foot." "I zeroed in on the Lamper Building and found the eight lawyers...I found them, and Steve ’tagged’ them with T’s, and ’hit’ them with X’s...When they left the building to go home they found out one by one that no vehicle would move with their butts inside. They were forced to walk to a nearby hotel."

So she curses Connie McKesson and 8 other lawyers and makes it so they can't use vehicles. What happens after they withdraw their lawsuit?

"I took the X’s off the nine strips of mat board and the nine lawyers could use vehicles."

So after the lawsuit is withdrawn, Theresa lifts the curse on all of them. Now how does TV Tropes describe this event?

According to the Empress Theresa page:

"Theresa instead sabotages the life of the lawyer and makes it so any motor vehicle with her inside will inexplicably stall and fail...Theresa never reverses this either, so this is presumably just something this woman has to live with forever now,"

And according to the Karmic Overkill page:

"Theresa responds by putting what's effectively a curse on the lawyer who took the case, making it so that any motor vehicle with her inside will inexplicably stall and fail...And since there's no indication that Theresa ever reverses what she did, the poor woman presumably has to deal with this problem for the rest of her life."

According to TV Tropes, Theresa curses only one lawyer and never removes the curse even after she withdraws the lawsuit. This is wildly different from the source material, where Theresa curses nine lawyers and reverses it for all of them when they withdraw their suit. I am unsure what version of the book the person(s?) who wrote these passages read, or if there even are any other versions of the book out there, but it sure as Hell isn't the version I'm reading.

I really don't know why this annoys me enough to write such a long post about it, but it just...does.