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a-christmas-carol-from-hr · 4 months

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the diamond watch

a/n: jacob marley finds a watch, and does a very practical and unemotional thing with it.

London, the Late 90s.

The diamond watch was something from Tiffanys. Real, too. Not an imitation at all. Marley had seen enough imitation watches on Jorkins’s friends to know a real one. It damn near was still in the blue box, it was so new. The diamonds glittered in the shitty light of his shitty desk lamp, cheerfully glittering away in spite of their surroundings. The face of the watch was set with real gems, and the watch itself was made of pure gold. It glimmered in his hands, with each sparkle seeming to scream: Look at me, Jacob Marley! Look how much better I am than you.

Marley resisted the urge to throw it. Yeah, you’d see who’s boss then, watch. Behold, I have the power of opposable thumbs on my side. Take that.

It had belonged to a Mrs. John Porterhaus, a devotee of Mr. Jorkins’s school of lechery and debasement. She just thought the sun rose and set on his cigar-chomping ass, and she wasn’t even paid to say it! She just liked the guy, which was as sickening to Marley as the concept of love itself. What she got out of this, he had no idea. But she’d been in to visit him on Friday. Marley had come in on Monday morning, tremendously hung over, ready to put Jorkins’s office into something like a respectable place of business, when he’d found the watch. It was on the floor, happily shining amid the beer cans and empty fast food containers. Marley had turned it in, of course, and Jorkins had only needed one look to know where it’d come from.

“Oh, that’s Ethel’s.” He said with a chuckle. “Call up LA and tell her she forgot it.”

So Marley had dragged himself into the overseas trading department to use one of their phones to make a long distance call. He’d gotten Mrs. Porterhaus almost instantly. Evidently she’d not yet gone to bed.

“Oh, that.” She laughed. “Keep it, I have plenty more. Ahaha! I didn’t even notice it was gone.”

She hadn’t even noticed it was gone. A watch worth the same as six months of his rent, and she’d not even noticed it. And she had plenty more where that came from.

Marley sometimes really, really, really hated people.

So now he was out the long distance phone number fees, and he had no idea what to do with this stupid watch. He supposed he could just pawn it. He could probably get a pretty penny for it. Eh, better not. He’d not get a respectable amount. Maybe he could trade it to his dealer for coke. Eh, nah. He’d just use it up quickly. Keeping it in his shitbox apartment was just hanging a sign up that said Hey! Rob me, please! Keeping it in his desk was just asking to be robbed too. Marley didn’t trust his fellow employees as far as he could throw them-.

Wait.

Now there’s a thought.

Scrooge was sitting at her desk, as she always was. A half-gutted iMac was sitting on her desk. Jorkins had splurged on buying the newest computer just for Scrooge to break it apart to see how it worked. She was doing something terrible to the motherboard when he walked in.

“Oh, it’s you.” She said. She kicked at the stool next to her chair. “Have a seat.”

Nobody else had sitting privileges with Scrooge. Marley would consider himself honored if she was a better conversationalist. But she went back to her work in an instant. Marley loosened his tie as she tilted her head at the computer.

“Having fun?” He asked.

“I want to know how Jobs did it.” She said flatly. “It is making me angry.”

“Now we don’t want that.” Marley reached into his jacket pocket. “Maybe this will cheer you up.”

“Success would cheer me up.” Scrooge said unironically. “What do you want.”

“I brought you something.” He held out the watch.

Scrooge blinked at the watch. “Is it broken? Do you want me to fix it?”

“What? No. I’m giving it to you. As a gift. A gift, Scrooge.”

Giving it to Scrooge wasn’t an act of sentiment. It simply wasn’t. He had a watch he needed to get rid of, and it would best fit a woman’s arm. Scrooge, quite conveniently, was a woman. With arms. Ergo, she would be the easiest receptacle for this damned thing.

It was the most practical solution. It really was. Scrooge was a good ally. A good companion. She’d see the logic of the gift. It was good to keep one’s friends close, one’s enemies closer, and one’s allies closest of all.

Scrooge was not his friend. He did not want her to be his enemy. And if anyone ever had been, she was his ally.

“Why.” She asked. “What’s wrong with it.”

“Nothing’s wrong with it!” Marley exclaimed.

“Then why are you giving it to me?”

“Because I want to.” Scrooge’s eyes narrowed. “Can’t a man give a watch to a friend?”

“Yes. But we are not friends.”

“You wound me, Scrooge. You wound me to my heart.”

“You don’t have one to wound.” She said, pushing a stack of papers towards him. “You haven’t filed any of my reports. You need to do that.”

“I’ve been busy, what can I say.” Marley fidgeted with the watch as he leaned back, taking care not to fall. “I had to call Los Angeles today. Had to bribe Marsha from Foreign Stocks into letting me use her phone. Did you know this watch belongs to a very rich woman? She has so many, she doesn’t give a fuck about this one. It’s my problem to be rid of.”

“Then throw it in the dumpster and file my reports.”

“Would if I could. I don’t want the homeless junkies nearby finding diamonds in our trash. That’ll only encourage them to freeload.” Marley tried to slide it over his own wrist. Maybe he would keep it. He slid it over his wrist, but quickly grimaced. Fuck, too big for him. Mrs. John Porterhaus had been a big woman.

Scrooge glanced up, glasses down the edge of her nose. “Diamonds? Really?”

“A-yup.” Marley pushed his glasses up his head and left them on his forehead. “I looked it up in the Tiffany's catalog. This little trinket’s worth more than our organs put together.”

Scrooge snorted. She reached for her packet of cigarettes. “That’s sickening. Got a light?”

Marley reached into his pocket. “Just leaving that lying around. Total waste of money.” His lighter flickered to life. “Can I bum a smoke?” “You already owe me five.”

“Make it six.”

“No. Get your own.” Marley sighed and reached for his own packet. “That kind of wealth sickens me. She didn’t even earn it.”

“No. She didn’t.” Marley stuck a cigarette between his teeth. “Which is why you should keep it.”

Scrooge rolled her eyes as she snorted smoke out of her nose. “Are you going to insult me by trying that line you used on Meg from Finance. What was it again?”

“‘You’re worth every cent.’” They said it at the same time. Marley made a show of embarrassment. “Even I thought it was a bit much.”

“But she fell for it anyway. Idiot.” Scrooge rolled her eyes.

“I won’t insult you by using the same line on you, Scrooge.” He said. “But I wish you would take the watch. It doesn’t fit me. You have big, fat hands. Use them.”

Scrooge grimaced. “I know I have big hands. I refuse to use them so you can get rid of a bauble.” But she did snatch it from his outstretched hand. She stared at it for a moment before dropping it on the desk. “I’ll pawn it for money.”

“Good. That’s the sensible thing to do.” He said with a yawn. “I’m off for a few hours. I have to get some sleep. I’ll be back by midnight if you’re still here.”

“I will be.” She grumbled. “I want my cigarettes, Marley.”

“And I probably won’t give them to you. Ciao, Scrooge.”

“Marley.”

The watch was on her desk when he left. It was there when he returned hours later, cartons of food in hand. They’d scheme in quiet then, plotting in between bites of fried rice and noodles. She left the watch there when she left for some sleep and he left to file those reports. He’d see it there, locked in her tool drawer, for the next few months.

She must have taken it with her when they moved into their own place. He supposed she must have, although he didn’t know for years. Not until he knocked over a floral painted jewlery box and the watch tumbled out. Glittering and smug and far too expensive for her blood, she’d never sold it.

He had no idea why.

Postscript (For a time with a man not dead to begin with):

He found the watch again, years later. Although, Marley supposed, 'finding' was a very active verb for what he had done. He was lying on the couch, to be totally honest. His brain was half-fried from a stroke, and his body was breaking under years of disuse. His sins weighed him down like a chain, and he couldn't bring himself to move.

Scrooge had walked in. "I have to go into the office." It was the first time they'd be truly apart since he'd come back to the apartment. "I'll be back as soon as possible."

He had nodded. It was all he could manage. But he scraped together some energy to open his eyes.

She was standing there. Older than she'd once been, greyer, meaner, and somehow with more of a heart. She looked at him with tired, worried eyes. Like he'd ever been worth that.

Something shiny caught his eyes. They flickered to her wrist.

Mrs. John Porterhaus's watch shone there, as beautiful as the first day he'd seen it.

#the christmas carol retelling thing #jacob marley #scrooge x marley #ebenezer scrooge #a christmas carol

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northwest-cryptid · 5 months

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im sending a cute moth to cheer you on while you're high

Oh man I love moths, fun fact; in my Native language the word for moth roughly translates to "The Night Spirit Butterfly" and I unironically think that's such a great name for moths

I wanted to see about the credibility of this however since a lot of the time I've heard people say that "the Native american word for this is [generic mystical sounding animal thing]" and then I look it up and it's like "nah we just kinda call that a bird." So I did some digging and located the original text it's sourced from:

I've been learning Lakota since it's my Native language and I was forced to learn English directly after learning barely enough Lakota to be conversational; since I wasn't able to keep up in school when it came to learning English. This is why I will always say English is my second language, because I was literally taught Lakota first and it made learning English significantly harder.

As a quick aside, I think it's interesting that after learning Lakota I had much more trouble learning English; while my brother who did not learn Lakota had no trouble picking up English as a first language. I believe this is honestly because English uses a completely different sentence structure and since my brother didn't have anything to compare it with it became the first and only structure for sentences he knew; it was the only pronunciation he knew. Meanwhile I had learned that wášte is pronounced like "Wash-teh" with a very subtle "ee" after the h, so then I went to school and they said "okay here's the word "Waste" how do you say that?" Not to mention the word wášte basically means "good" so learning an entirely new concept of a word made no sense at a young age.

Regardless, now I'm older and have a better grasp on how language works since I've spent my life learning a good few now (memory problems be damned) translating everything from games to web comics and novels for fun. So I've picked up Lakota and boy I forgot just how much of a weird language this is.

Like okay I know we're on a tangent here, but hear me out right; I need to explain this because it baffles me why they would do this.

So the word tȟó means blue, the word zí means yellow, and the word šá means red.

So then if we know what Blue, Yellow, and Red are; what do you think the word tȟózi means? It means Green right? because Blue and Yellow make green! Alright so then what about tȟóša it's gotta be Purple right? Yea exactly! Because Blue and Red make Purple! Okay one more here, zíša You probably already know this is Orange because of how this has been working so far; and that's 100% correct! It's a really simple and effective system right?

Alright, so then if we look at Black which is sápA and White which is ská we should be able to discern Gray!

So then what would Gray be? Based on what we know; there are two possible answers right? So we all agree that it's ȟótA right?

...

Wait, oh no it had such a good system it can't just NOT use it...

SURELY Pink would just be Red and White right?! Skasa or Saska or something...

WHY IS IT šamná?! In fact why is it šamná / šásaŋ / šástaŋ?!

Yea so anyways color system was so cool until they decided to just not use it and I am forever baffled by why this is the case.

So knowing what I know let's look into our case of the Night Spirit Butterfly.

Well right off the bat we can see it uses the word for Butterfly, that being Kimimila and I happen to know very well the word Nagi or "Wanagi" means Shadow or Spirit. So that gives us Wanagi and Kimimila but we're still missing that bit in the middle, where does that Ta come in?

Well the only example of ta being used is in the word Tatanka, which is literally the word Tanka and the word Ta which is cited as making it possessive. My best guess is that in this case it's being used as some kind of particle but I don't necessarily see how it making the word Wanagi possessive would fit that translation. That would make it closer to The Spirit's Butterfly, or something of that sort.

Of course this source actually does know what their talking about upon further reading through the document they have a lot of translations that are perfectly accurate so I believe them on this one but personally the inclusion of the "ta" particle there makes me wonder if it was suppose to be something closer to seeing the night in a possessive sense.

As to say Butterflies are to the day what Moths are to the night, they are The Night's Butterfly. The only issue there is that we need to remember that Nagi and Wanagi don't really mean "Night-Spirit" like that they do mean Shadow or Spirit and in some cases even Soul or Ghost depending on the context so I see even "The Ghost Butterfly" as being more accurate than to say The Night-Spirit. However this might just be a case of it being context sensitive as it does get across the fact that they're nocturnal rather than just being a dark butterfly.

Bonus fun fact, Mothman is my favorite cryptid.

tl;dr

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magentagalaxies · 1 year

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4, 6, 11, 40

(jsyk you sent me these numbers for a completely different ask game that i forgot about but i'm using them for the ask game i just reblogged bc dammit i wanna talk about music lmao)

4. Is there a song you love but don't like its music video?

tbh i don't watch music videos a lot, so most songs i like either i don't know the music video, think the music video was "just okay", or actively like the music video. however if i could just platform my younger self for a minute, i remember back when i was super into melanie martinez in like 2015/2016 i came up with my own idea for the mrs potato head music video and i got so mad when the official music video came out that i fully stopped listening to her music for years lmao i still think my concept was better.

6. Who's an artist you really like but are embarrassed to admit it?

the first one that comes to mind is ajr. like tbh every single criticism people have of their music is 100% correct but also neotheater came out at the exact moment for me to be earnestly emotionally connected to it so i'm always gonna love it even if i roll my eyes at some of the songs. however tbh i don't listen to their other albums as much anymore

ok fuck it i feel the need to rant about ok orchestra bc i have a LOT of opinions. this is going to be such a tangent but when will i get this opportunity again? anyway

brief intermission as i rant about an album i haven't listened to in years

one thing i actually love that ajr does is how most of their albums start with an overture mashup of most of the album's main motifs, blending them together and sometimes doing a variation with different time signatures. the only thing i love more than this that they do is how big and grand their closing songs are. take the click: we get a full overture as the beginning, and the final song "come hang out" feels like a finale. the bridge switching to 3/4 in an otherwise 4/4 song??? the conflict of going after your passions while sacrificing your relationships despite the other person having different priorities embodied in the backup singers??? idc if ajr is cringy it's a well made song.

now, notably neotheater does not follow this formula. it starts straight in with "next up forever," but this is actually the best move since next up forever is a near perfect album opener. is it a near perfect song? oh god no. my 16-year-old self thought it was for sure, but relistening now there's a few lyrics where i'm like "jfc why are they like this." but for now lyricism doesn't matter bc no matter what you think about ajr's lyrics, their composition is what i'm focusing on and it's generally pretty good. next up forever contains choir vocals a la a vintage disney movie, a slow build before exploding into a drum beat channeling the anxiety and anticipation the song is focused on. a lot of the themes (both lyrical and musical) are present in all the other songs on this album, so despite not being an overture in the traditional sense it perfectly balances giving us a taste of what's to come while also standing on its own as a song you can listen to separate from the full album context. but most importantly, it coheres with the final song so fucking well. the last song on the album "finale (can't wait to see what you do next)" continues this exact same theme, with the most similar instrumentation to the album opener out of this set of song, while still distinctly standing on its own. it genuinely feels like this album was a full exploration of standing on the precipice of your career, and the singer reaches a moment of clarity on the last lines of the song. seriously, i'm embarrassed to admit i still get chills from "if it's my final album / and if i am forgotten / i hope i made you smile / that's all i ever wanted"

(ngl i honestly kind of wish this was ajr's final album bc what a note to go out on. also bc this was the last time i was in the exact space in my life where i could 100% unironically feel seen in an ajr album)

but then we have ok orchestra: the much anticipated follow-up to neotheater. we get the return of an overture, mixing together some of the biggest hits on the album (of course it helps that the chorus of "bang bang bang" and "way less sad" are basically the same). idk, maybe it's just because i grew out of my ajr phase by the time this was released and was still in denial about it, but something about this overture just doesn't hit. it doesn't feel as much like it exists for a reason as the click's overture. the click substantially modified these songs' tempo/time signature to fit together, and by starting with the simple metronome (the titular click) and the repeated calls of "come hang out, don't you leave us behind" it immediately gives us the thesis statement of the album, what it's all trying to say. ok orchestra just,,, doesn't do that??? it's like ok cool the songs fit together and i'm gonna hear longer versions soon. what about it.

but that doesn't say anything about the main reason i don't like this album: christmas in june. after 2 great album closers, a lot is resting on the final song of this album to put it all in perspective and make sure it coheres, and christmas in june just doesn't do that. there's no sense of finality, no deeper focus on the central theme of the album (which is????). and ok. christmas in june is a fine song, i get the message of it (trying to balance the pursuit of success in your art with your personal relationships) but WE'VE DONE THIS ALREADY. this is the whole point of come hang out, and it explored it with some great tension and interesting instrumentation!!! but compared to that song, christmas in june just feels very shallow. and the instrumentation definitely is the main reason for this. since i hadn't listened to the song in a while, i misremembered it as being acoustic bc it's so scaled back, but it's not acoustic. that would've at least been an artistic choice. it's just quiet. it does not feel like an album closer at all, it feels like a fine little variation in the middle tracks which might be referenced in the finale, which is coming any second now, right?

but tbh the lack of a satisfactory narrative conclusion and quieter production don't inherently make it a bad song. i mean, let's compare this to bleachers' most recent album closer "what do i do with all this faith?" while the previous two bleachers albums contained an interlude called "i'm ready to move on" which led us directly into their finales, this album isn't ready to move on. and sure, this is probably my least favorite bleachers album of the three (tho tbh it's hard for anything to top strange desire and gone now), i still appreciate this (actually acoustic) ending a lot for its recognition that sometimes you don't get an ending to your emotional arc. it still fits sonically with the rest of the album (which is also generally scaled-back and guitar focused), and it fits thematically with the rest of the lyrics

but the thing that makes me dislike christmas in june most is that it doesn't commit to the bit. see, each ajr album has kind of a "gimmick" that ties it together. these gimmicks aren't present on every song, but they're present on the beginning and ending and several moments in between. "the click" had the integration of string sections with electronic music, which doesn't always work but is an interesting choice. neotheater has the aforementioned choir, as well as this general old musical feeling (side note doesn't birthday party sample fucking eraserhead???). what does ok orchestra have? the closest thing i can identify is pitch-shifting vocals, most notably on "the trick". generally i do not like it when this gimmick is implemented, and it's very telling that my favorite song from ok orchestra (and the only one i listened to in the past year) is 3 o'clock things, which feels like a holdover from neotheater thanks to its choir returning. but as much as i was annoyed by the pitch shifting, if they'd just stuck the landing and used it in the final song, it would have at least felt whole. but they never used it again. i guess you can argue that christmas in june leaving me feeling empty inside was intentional bc the song itself is about this stressful feeling of being spread too thin, but i don't think this lack of resolution is what ajr was going for. i think they wanted that last line about a hypothetical kid to hit as hard as dear winter (which, yes, i'm embarrassed to admit, i still actually kind of love) but it doesn't.

idk, maybe i'm being too hard on ok orchestra, or maybe i'm not being hard enough on the earlier albums. or maybe this is mostly a case of sometimes the music you love in 10th grade isn't the same music you love in your third year at university, and it sucks to confront that. even if ajr releases another album soon that lives up to neotheater, idk if i'll even listen to it more than once since i've discovered new music since that also does all the things i used to love about ajr but much better. but idk. there's still a part of me that wishes ok orchestra was at least a bit more cohesive, especially when i hear so many people who both love and hate ajr saying it's the best thing they've ever written. justice for neotheater

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rosieuv · 1 year

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The new Miraculous film is actually alright

I didn't have high standards for this film originally. I put the release date on my calendar, but forgot about it as I didn't care all that much. However, today I was too tired to do much so I decided to give it a watch.

First thing is the animation. It's better than the show's, but there was a missed opportunity to redesign the characters to look less like they were just concept art for a final character. Chloe's hair looks like it was dunked in olive oil and was never washed out. Another thing I noticed is that Marinette always seems to be wearing some sort of earrings, which confused me as her disguised miraculous looks exactly the same as the earrings she wears at the start of the film and when she takes them off halfway. I hope they did what Jimmy Neutron did and reuse the film assets for the next season of the show. The camouflaged state of the butterfly miraculous looks so tacky! The creepy basement has been redesigned to replace the lift with stairs and the capsule with generic flowers. The school's been redesigned to look less modern and for some reason, both Marinette and Adrien now have analogue watches. Also Adrien has a phone with 1 camera and uses wired earphones. I imagine it's trying to do what the show did, by keeping all the technology from 2015 as that's when season 1 came out (the only contradicting point being the English news reporter from the season 5 finale said "God save the King", which implies this takes place in 2023 or later). It would be weird if Adrien didn't have the latest tech considering he's supposed to be rich and all. However, Alya's phone looks more like a modern phone due to the fact there's no buttons on the screen side and no bevels. Is she a time traveller?

The voice acting's fine. Something I didn't realise at first, is that this film is a musical. The songs are so damn cheesy and whenever they would play, I would open up discord and look through my unread messages while tuning out the generic songs about not being worthy, love, being a villain, etc. Marinette's singing voice is different than her regular voice and it's really noticeable. Nooroo's voice changed and I really don't like it. I like the scared and high-pitched voice that they had in the show as it gave the impression that Nooroo was terrified of being used for evil (possibly because a similar thing happened to them before), but had no choice and just had to obey. Fortunately Nooroo's a minor character in the film so I don't have to hear that out of place mystical mature voice much.

The music is just generic Disney style cinematic piano stuff. Careless Whisper (or as I call it: the sexy saxophone song) plays twice in the film. Why. Why would you unironically put a meme song in a film?

Now the writing. Oh the writing.

Spoilers here (I go over the ending and important plot points):

First off: this takes place in this alternate world where Marinette is unpopular and weird and Adrien has been at this school for a while now. I like this take as it's similar to season 1, but does a better job at Marinette's character arc. How they meet in this universe is by the library. Also Marinette's not a creepy stalker in this universe, and can actually talk to Adrien enough to ask him to go to the prom thing. Again I like this take as instead of her following him around for 4 seasons before he eventually confesses his feelings, she gets to know him better and they become friends via the help of Alya and Nino. Also when Alya saves Marinette from being publicly humiliated by Chloe, that was a better transition into them becoming friends then how it was originally with them meeting by just sitting together in the same class.

It was annoying how we never got to see Adrien's reaction to finding the miraculous. He finds this cat, didn't question how it got through his window when his room's on the 1st floor, cat turns to ring, then it just cuts and the next time we see him he's cat noir. Meanwhile Marinette freaks out over realising she's the chosen one. She never calls herself Ladybug in her introduction, but people start calling her that as they're all really unoriginal when it comes to name. Cat noir fights the enemy like he (somewhat) knows what he's doing, but Ladybug has absolutely no idea and is acting very clumsy. Something that annoyed me about the original origin story, was that Master Fu just met them 2 and decided that because Marinette gave him a macaron, then she would be a good Ladybug. In this version, Marinette saves his life by pushing him out of traffic, and the kwamis decide who their holders are by destiny or something. There's a couple missing features from the show:

Her magic ladybirds don't activate by her throwing the lucky charm. She figures out how to activate them in the end of the film by moving her arms around.

They don't de-transform after 5 minutes after using their power.

There isn't a manual in the stick and yo-yo (that would be a bit overpowered though).

They don't seem to break the akumatised object, the akuma seems to fly out of it after.

The suits can be damaged by attacks but they can't in the show. Towards the end, Cat noir and Hawk moth have a battle and he rips half of Cat noir's mask off. They also don't seemed to be affected by the magic plot device introduced in United Heroes that makes humans not question why the superheroes look so similar to Marinette and Adrien; Hawk moth realises that Cat noir is Adrien and oh my god that scene was written like it was a fan-fiction I would upload here. Personally I would make the backstory scene a lot darker (although something to note is that in the show, Emilie's death was a lot more recent than in the film) and have Cat noir actually manage to cataclysm Hawk moth (like in season 5 episode 3) instead of the Eiffel Tower (even though that was really cool too) just because I'm so curious how that conversation would go if he knew he essentially killed his own father. I was laughing in that entire scene so loudly that my brother messaged me on discord from the room next door asking if I was having a stroke. I was laughing so hard that I could barely hear what they were saying, and I was more focused on why Gabriel's eyebrows are shaded so tackily.

There's no akuma alert on their phone, they detect danger by their miraculous glowing. Better concept imo.

Ladybug doesn't use her lucky charm in the entire film. Cat noir uses his cataclysm so why doesn't Ladybug use her power? This doesn't make sense to me.

Anyway, Marinette finds out that Adrien likes someone else when she asks him to go to the prom (that isn't described as a prom, but essentially that's what it is) and he rejects her saying that he likes someone else. Well, Hawk moth figured out much sooner in the film that he can akumatise himself and become really OP with a crap ton of butterflies. That version of him reminds me of Dr Robotnik when he gets the Master Emerald in the second Sonic film as he controls his power in a similar way. He drags the earrings out of Ladybug's ears and doesn't put them on? Instead the miraculous of the ladybird goes directly into the butterfly miraculous and it fuses that way. No different form though. So anyway, Marinette is on an island because from what I remember the place was flooded, but her island was separated from the one with Hawk moth and Cat noir. She finds out that Cat noir is Adrien, but the others are too busy having a mental breakdown that they don't notice her 4 metres away. At the end she tells Adrien that she's Ladybug in the cheesiest way. This was at the prom, Adrien's sad that he's never going to see Ladybug again because Hawk moth's been defeated and he knows that Ladybug isn't interested in becoming a couple; so he's next to a tree outside the venue. Marinette finds him and then this really cheesy scene plays that I can't really explain but it would have been better if she just asked why he was sad and then Adrien would be vague, but mention something about never being able to see his crush ever again. Marinette would mention that it's because he likes Ladybug, and because he's Cat noir, the only time they meet is when they're saving the day from akumatisations. He would act startled but that's when Marinette would mention that she's Ladybug, and that he doesn't need to worry. Marinette in the original scene is too vague.

Plagg deserved more screen time: he only appeared in 3 scenes, 2 of which involved him eating cheese. It's such a shame as Plagg's my favourite character from the show. The charm from his original character's been watered down and because he barely features, he never gets to make up for it.

Yeah essentially that's my thoughts. I prefer this universe over the universe of the show as this one makes more sense writing wise. It's not perfect, but it's not too bad. I quite enjoyed it but I feel like it could do with a bit of polishing to make it really shine. I'm not sure what direction the show's going with Lila being the new villain, but this film was definitely a better version of the Hawk moth arc due to it's smaller scale.

You can watch it on Netflix (I think) or some random piracy website that I used called miraculous.to. Use chrome though as the video buffers like mad on firefox.

I spent more than an hour typing this out.

#film #film review #movie #movie review #review #miraculous #miraculous spoilers #miraculous ladybug #miraculous film #miraculous movie #featured

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goddamnwebcomics · 1 year

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Now do the 5 Best Arcs Ever in Goddamnwebcomics History. It can't all be negativity here.

You know, I'm feeling generous, so I'm gonna list 7 best arcs ever.

7. Karastropov Arc - Kit n Kay Boodle

Kit n Kay Boodle being involved in a list of best anything might be ridiculous, but after reading issue after issue of stupid sex adventures, we finally get some real conflict as Gene and Catwhis send a message to Kit n Kay about how they tried to smuggle boinkberries in a sex-libido'd dictatorship. (I wonder if this took place before or after their comic) Turns out Kit and Kay have to go there themselves and come face to face with an ancient evil known as Karastropov. Karastropov is a very memorable villain as he is a bodysnatching God who wants to forfeit sex of all kinds. Karastropov is just the perfect villain for a pornocratic propaganda comic like this. He is no slouch either, he tricks the train guy to be possessed by him, and then when he learns he's friends with Kit and Kay, he fucking murders him as he bleeds to death in a chilling scene. Karastropov would eventually return but in an arc that's a lot worse than this one. This arc is so crazy it's actually unironically entertaining.

6. Mecha Maid's Malfunction Arc - Spinnerette

While not my favourite issues, and far from perfect, I feel that Mecha Maid's Malfunction Arc was Spinnerette being closest to ever being what Kraw wanted us to think it was. A deconstructive superhero comic with themes of lesbian relationships and balancing between real life and crime fighting. This is where we learn just how dire Mecha Maid's ALS is, and Heather doesn't have a lot of time as Mecha Maid confesses her love to Heather. The second part isn't quite as good as the first. As Mecha Maid is suddenly back to acting normal which even Heather knows it's weird, and then she proceeds to get drunk and try to hit on Marilyn while outside their costumes. Heather doesn't really face any consequences for her stupidity, but I forgot that the way it ends is rather sweet. It is a real shame outside of this arc and the issue with Adrastea, Mecha Maid's incoming ALS death is never an issue. This arc didn't have any villains, the real conflict was their relationship and I would argue it's one of the few times Heather's idiotic behaviour made sense, as she's literally rushing the relationship because she isn't sure how much time does Marilyn have on this earth. If Kraw wasn't as greedy and exploitative, then this comic could have been different and this arc is like a windowinto that alternate Spinnerette.

5. Storm of Souls - Dominic Deegan

Dominic Deegan is a comic with a ton of issues, but I know where exactly this comic peaked. Storm of Souls was the first Really Big arc, because it brought in something from just about every previous arc, while also introducing brand new concepts. Granted, the writing of this arc is not perfect because it's jacking off the protagonist so badly, but the later arcs would be a lot worse. When mysterious Storm of Souls breaks out, Deegan has to find a way to stop it, and finds an ancient guru named Klo Tark, who begins training Deegan to become the Champion of Balance. Meanwhile, Celesto is groomed by The Chosen to become their Champion of Chaos and give him the control over The Storm of Souls. During all this time, the Leaf Pun Witch must sacrifice herself to the Storm much to the misery of Rilian, while Gregory fights The Infernoprancer and Deegan family's old enemy Helixa is also afoot, and Jacob is fighting on her side with his golem! There is so much going on in this arc I can't even recap all of it. A lot of the later Really Big Arcs either don't have anything going on or have too much going on. Here, all the factions in this war have a reason to take part in this battle. I like how Storm of Souls is built up as this mysterious thing and we don't even know what it does until when Celesto falls into it. Speaking of Celesto, he was the real star of this arc and he became my favourite character in this comic for a reason. He survived all of Deegan's attacks and then after Deegan thinks he's turning on a new leaf, he betrays him. This arc was also a good sendoff to Jacob as a villain as he didn't really do anything evil after this. The Elf Guy becoming the real villain of the arc did feel rather rushed, and Helixa was killed off really quick, but I could go on and on and on about the flaws of this arc. The point is, compared to every other arc, especially the ones that came after it, Storm of Souls is the most redeemable Deegan arc.

4. Matt and Borzoi Arc - Gene Catlow

I know the way Gene Catlow does it's arcs is rather wonky, because for 60% of this comic's runtime this comic has been about Things Starting to Change (Part 4). Matt and Borzoi Arc is part of it, and it begins shortly after the end of the first fight against Horton. When Borzoi travels to Canovia, he happens to run into the mysterious black matagot, Matt. In order to free corrupt canovian politicians from his control, Borzoi becomes Matt's puppet and is soon tormented by Matt's mysterious powers. Although strange little bunny Michelle and the dog wife Matt gave to Borzoi, Beryl, try to support him, they're not even aware of Borzoi's dark side, the evil twin inside hiPFFFTHAHAHA. Yeah again not everything in this arc is perfect, but this is the arc that convinced me Matt is the best character in this webcomic. It also made Borzoi matter to the point I stopped calling him "Bigot Bark". And yeah, looking at it in hindsight, Michelle was not that bad. She was mainly just sneaking about, and if she was anything like the Family of intelligent Life it would have been a lot worse. This comic had a lot of moments of hopelessness for poor Borzoi which Family wouldn't have allowed. And although Matt gets betrayed all the time nowadays, Dawn and Dusk had a rather decent redemption arc, and Borzoi was almost brutally murdered by Matt with his mind powers. However after separating from Dawn and Dusk, Matt would start withering away himself. Thankfully, Matt would eventually recover and his greatest moment was yet to come.

3. Alejandra's Revenge Arc - Las Lindas

It's a good thing I stopped riffing at this arc, even if the ending sucked. Alejandra's return was nothing short of glorious and I will praise it as the peak of Las Lindas until the day this comic wants to take risks again. Although Alejandra wanted to fucking destroy that farm through any means necessary, she also had moments of sympathy during this arc, especially with Tootsie and Randall. And the highlight of this arc was Alejandra with a gun telling Mora like it is, but as soon as Mora knocked Alej out, it was all downhill from there. Then we got Plush Toy Lawyerification Alejandra, and ANOTHER DIGIT. And yeah no wonder I wanted to end this fucking comic, because it was really the end of an era.

2. The Party Arc - Alien Dice

Yeah, seriously. I was originally going to pick Trasik Arc, but that arc had way too many stupid reveals after another. Ultimately the arc that had the most things that I liked and that I look fondly back to, is the Party Arc. When Damian hosts a party in Lexx's island, Lexx and Chel just want to have a moment of bonding for themselves before Chel's federal agent father shows up the next day. Unfortunately, their party is interrupted by Zaile who Lexx finally learns is his brother, then their party is interrupted by Trasik who pisses Lexx off to the point he tells her that she will kill her if she ever shows up again and then finally the party ends when Epsy goes feral and almost mauls Lexx to death. This arc had a lot going on, but not in a chaotic way like Storm of Souls. The comic did give us few moments to breathe between all of the tension, Lexx and Chel gave us both their points of view of standing in a sea of strangers, and seeing them reunite after being separated for so long was sweet. But even more sweeter was when Chel finally called out Riley for his bullshit treatment of both her and Lisaan, and Riley even got punched. This arc could've been a stupid gala but instead we got a surprisingly intense evening full of revelations and challenges. If only we knew who those guests were supposed to be.

1. Feline Against Feline - Gene Catlow

Much like last time, I am going to define this as it's own arc. From the moment Family Power dies to Gene and Matt's intense as hell confrontation, Feline Against Feline is the peak of Gene Catlow and some of the best writing in this blog. When Family Power dies as it's being pet by that fucking idiot moron Horton, the Felin Family begins to panic and Matt calls in a meeting. All of a sudden new Family Power is born, which rejects Tane, Dawn and Dusk, the trio of traitors responsible for the death of the old Family Power. Just when Matt interrogates the group, Hosts attack, allowing Matt to show off his powers as he defends the Family. Although Feline Family is more bonded than ever, Dawn, Dusk and Tane leave the family along with the Big Cats and a group of other traitors, splitting the family in two. Matt and Cydnee then bond more as they make their goal of a feline-dominated planet clear. All this time Gene and Catwhis are returning from Friendship Island and getting ready to put a start to the Family of Intelligent Life with their new allies. And then we get THAT scene. Gene and Matt face eachother after so much buildup, during which Gene loses ALL of his cool, turning into a beast and almost killing Matt. This whole scene is perfect and it's shocking in that I was actually rooting for Gene in this scene. If it wasn't for Catwhis's interference, Gene could have gotten rid of the matagot boy forever, but no. Sadly, much like Alejandra's Revenge, we get a bullshit ending as the other half of Feline Family interferes, and then Big Cats show up to take away Matt's power, and also threaten to take away their free will if they ever try anything. This was the beginning of Matt's downfall and traitor after traitor going to Gene's side, but Feline Against Feline was a fucking fantastic arc even with it's sad ending. Matt is just fantastic from beginning to end, and his reaction to Gene's power being "oh shit we could use that power to take over the world" is so Matt. I also really miss the lineup as seen in the pic, back when Carson and Script Kiddies were evil. And what happened to the Kitten Family Power?

So there you have it, 7 examples of positivity.

#article thingy

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

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Last week I did a crash course in all the Julia Davis things, which I meant to post about at the time and then didn’t because I was too busy working. But it was fun. Here’s my updated folder:

I went through all that in a few days last week, except for Human Remains, which I saw last year. It was very good, and it made me want to see more of Julia Davis, but I think that was when I got distracted by No More Jockeys and promptly forgot that anything in the world besides No More Jockeys existed until I’d seen every single episode, wondering how on Earth it had taken me so long to get to that show that was clearly tailor-made to appeal to me.

Anyway. On another recommendation this year, I finally got into Julia Davis properly. Downloaded all the stuff in the screenshotted folder and worked through it probably too quickly. Starting with Nighty Night, the show I mainly knew from having seen people on that old comedy message board talk about it like it was the worst thing in the absolute world. That’s what I learned, last year when I got into reading old (early-to-mid-00s) on a British message board dedicated to comedy but mainly populated by people who fucking hated all comedians and comedy shows except Chris Morris and maybe Stewart Lee, though even he was on thin ice. The things I learned were: John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman were not kidding when they said people hated them back in the day. Josie Long is not exaggerating when she says she avoids the internet these days because of some horrific stuff that was up there about her early in her career. The genius Garth Marenghi was widely panned when it first came out (and I guess recent Ayoade revelations might suggest a right side of history there, but it’s fine, the recent audiobooks are things Matthew Holenss is doing alone). They also hated The Office when it first came out, which is definitely the right side of history. And Little Britain, while I’m giving them credit for being on the right side of history. People who had dedicated an entire website to loving Chris Morris passionately hated Nathan Barley, which I maintain is the incorrect opinion, and I will continue to maintain that until the day Julian Barratt gets canceled (yeah Noel’s done fucked up stuff and Richard Ayoade’s a transphobe, but surely someone from that Boosh show is all right – Julian was the quiet one, right?).

Is it coming across that I was more – to unironically use a word that has been used ironically so often that I barely feel like it can still be used in its real sense anymore, but I can’t think of a better one – triggered than I’d have expected to be by the Russell Brand shit this weekend, and am kind of seeing the world through a prism of everything and everyone is shit? There was no good reason to go off on a tangent about toxic shit from the 00s Britcom world right now. Genuinely, sorry about that. I’m trying to write about some TV shows that I liked. Julia Davis is not responsible for any reprehensible actions of her husband’s friends.

So. The other thing I learned from reading all those old comedy threads was the people fucking hated Nighty Night. That Nighty Night represented everything that’s wrong with comedy these days (those days being 2004), how the comedians from previous generations, back when comedy was great, would barely be able to look at the horrifying stage of the industry as it is now that these talentless young comics (ie. Ricky Gervais) have ruined it. The whole concept of “dark” comedy has fallen so far that they’re even letting women write it now, and look at the horrible result that is Nighty Night!

That’s what I knew about it, and I knew they were probably wrong, but I thought I’d check to make sure, and yep, it turns out they were wrong. Okay, I have to admit, season 2 was pretty bad. It had some good moments, but it was rough overall. Season 1, however, I thought was excellent. I enjoyed it so much.

Season 1 features Julia Davis, Kevin Eldon, Rebecca Front, and the guy who sat next to Mr. Bean while he at a sandwich and hosted about eight episodes of WILTY before getting fired because it turned out he’d had sex. Yes I know Angus Deayton has done a lot of thing besides that, because that’s how I know him. The first three I think are absolutely perfect in their roles. Angus Deayton is fine. Honestly, I don’t think he was bad or anything. I was just really, really stuck by how good the other three were, and not so much with him.

Rebecca Front plays a woman with MS who uses a wheelchair, and there’s a fair question there about whether this counts a representation or whether it’s using a disability for cheap jokes, but I tentatively come down on believe it’s the former. Obviously ideally the role would have been played by an actor who’s an actual wheelchair user, but there is so little representation for that, and this was treated as part of her character, not as constant jokes about it. She was possibly the only sympathetic character in the entire show, and the showed the challenges she faced from not being able to walk as legitimate parts of her path in life, not as excuses to laugh at her.

It is, as people said, the darkest of the dark comedies. Its opening scene is absolutely perfect, as Kevin Eldon finds out he has cancer and Julia Davis immediately makes it about herself. Sets the scene for the whole thing. My only criticism of season 1 might be that I wish Kevin Eldon had had a bigger role. I thought he was excellent, both the actor and the character.

I loved the way they used the tension. I’m not always a fan of cringe comedy, and this was a lot of that, but I thought it was done really intelligently. It wasn’t an easy watch. At one point I put on an episode of 30 Rock, the way I sometimes do after I see a horror movie, to recalibrate my brain from the darkness to which it’s been subjected. But it was really good.

I loved the ending, where they (spoiler alert, for this show from 2004) escalated things in a way that was extreme but still managed to make sense with the character. This moment when you realize “Oh shit, she’s not just a manipulative fucked up person, she’s a God damn serial killer”, and it recontextualizes the whole thing, knowing you’ve been watching the adventures of a woman capable of murder. I love a good recontextualization, in pretty much anything.

Unfortunately, an ending like that rather precludes a strong second season. Season 1 worked because we were seeing violent horrifying impulses set upon the mundane backdrop of suburbia. Watching her have to sublimate her deeply awful nature into polite society. In season 2, she’s left polite society behind, literally and figuratively, so it’s not as interesting anymore. Also, I didn’t really understand the plot anymore. I could buy that she grew obsessed with Angus Deayton as a distraction from the husband she hated, but not that she’d give up her life for him even once that was behind her. For most of season 2, I kept saying… come on, why would you do this? It’s only Angus Deayton.

Anyway, that was her opening gambit. After that, I watched the shows she made in years after that. One that got picked up for multiple episodes – Hunderby, Camping, Sally4Ever; and ones that only made one episode – Lizze and Sarah, and Morning Has Broken. They were certainly interesting to all watch in a row. There are a lot of similarities among them. What I learned from all those shows at once is Kevin Eldon is a terrible husband who should probably be murdered, no one wants to have sex with Alex Macqueen, and Julia Davis keeps trying to outdo herself as worst person in the world.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I got really into feminist blogs. I remember that around that time (2008-2012-ish), it was really popular for people to write articles about the concept of the “unlikeable female character”. The way female characters don’t get to be truly unlikeable, they have to be femme fatales that are mysterious and charming and sexy. And female characters who do genuinely unlikeable things get hated by the same audience that love a male “anti-hero”, even if he is objectively worse than that female character. There were all these feminist blog posts saying we need more genuinely unlikeable female characters in the media, we won’t have media equality until women can be just as shitty as men on screen.

Most of those blogs were American, which is a pity, because they’d have loved Julia Davis. She plays a very similar character every time, and it’s horrifying, but like a car crash, where you can’t look away. Her characters’ defining traits tend to be that she’s the really sex woman who gets away with her bullshit because everyone wants to have sex with her, and, okay, someone could make a fair point that it’s a bit weird for Julia Davis to always cast herself in that role. However, there was one exception to this: in Hunderby, she played a character where the running joke was that no one wanted to have sex with her. In that show, every time they made that joke, I thought… oh, come on. Have you seen Julia Davis? How do you expect us to buy that she’s unattractive? So, I guess it’s fair enough for her to normally cast herself in a role that’s more in line with reality.

I can’t decide which one was my favourite. I really liked the language in Hunderby; she did that one so well. It’s a parody of period pieces, and I’m not all that into period pieces, but I know just enough about them to get a lot of the jokes in Hunderby that point out their cliches (there are probably some that went over my head, though). But the fun thing is that doing a period piece gave her an excuse to write a whole language just for that show, a sort of parody of old time-y English, and that brought in so many opportunities for more jokes. So often, a mundane line could be funny just because of the word choice.

Obviously, as a member of Team Gay People, I have to consider Sally4Ever as a potential favourite. Aside from it featuring a gay romance between Julia Davis and April from Peep Show (yes I know Catherine Shepherd has done other things, I saw Peep Show as a teenager so everyone in it is still what they were then in my mind, that guy on WILY is just Mark Corrigan behind a desk), which is great, I thought it might have been the strongest iteration of what she’d been trying to do for years. The character played by Julia Davis could have been the same person as her character from Nighty Night, if that character had moved to a new town and changed her name after the events of Nighty Night. And started dating women, but only for opportunistic reasons.

It was basically the same character, but updated to match the way Julia Davis had improved as writer. She was written just slightly more subtly (still not really subtle – subtle doesn’t seem to be Davis’ thing – but more subtle than Nighty Night), in a way that was so funny. Also, I liked how the perspective changed. Sally4Ever was like if Nighty Night were written from Rebecca Front’s perspective, in that it started out being from the perspective of the woman she victimized, and then we slowly watched the effect she had on that woman, rather than seeing it all from Julia’s perspective. But we could infer all of Julia’s motivations from the perspective we got.

Sally4Ever also featured Julian Barratt, and I like anything that features Julian Barratt. I liked the part where someone told Julian Barratt’s character that he just “has one of those faces that looks like a widower”, which is weirdly accurate, I thought. I was impressed with the writers for coming up with that amusing observation, and then I remembered that the writer is Julia Davis, which of course makes it much funnier.

Julia Davis’ real-life marriage makes a lot of that show funnier, given the central battle between her and Julian’s characters. Some comedy couples go the Stewart Lee/Bridget Christie route, in which they aren’t even willing to say each other’s name on stage, barely acknowledge each other’s existence, except in the vaguest references. Some go the David Mitchell/Victoria Coren Mitchell route, in which they will sometimes appear together on TV and play on their relationship, but very much have their own separate careers with clear boundaries between them. Some go the Jon Richardson/Lucy Beaumont route, in which they build their whole career around each other. And some, apparently, go the Julia Davis route, in which she writes in a whole long plotline where she and her real-life husband Julian Barratt are locked in a deeply horrifying – genuinely horrifying, in the “this belongs in the horror genre” sense of the word – psychosexual battle against each other for the affections of another woman. In which they both, on separate occasions, threaten murder against the other.

So I thought Sally4Ever was excellent, but I still think my favourite of the lot might be Camping. It was just so strong overall, not a single weak episode. I thought every character added something to it, though Vicki Pepperdine, I think, really stole the show. Every time her character said anything, I was impressed with how well she was written and acted.

I thought the plot of that one was well done, all the little details coming out just a thread or two at a time, keeping me engaged all the way through. It wasn’t as harrowing as Nighty Night, but it still had the significant escalation at the end that felt both over-the-top and completely earned. The characters were so well drawn and provide so many different and complex funny interactions. I thought it was brilliant. The two pilots were fun too. Of the two of them, Morning Has Broken is the one that I wish had more episodes. That one seemed to have potential, I’m disappointed that it never went farther. They introduced all these interesting characters in this well drawn situation, with some intrigue and reasons to want to know more. Lizzie and Sarah, the one she wrote with Jessica Hynes, was fun on its own. But I did sort of feel like I’d gotten the point by the end of it.

So that's Julia Davis. It's definitely the sort of thing I should have watched before now. Those feminist blogs were right, we do need more unlikable female characters in the world. And Julia Davis is a hell of a start.

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vonkarma2 · 2 years

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character ask game do minkowski w359 and rocio if you want

These got so long omg

Minkowski:

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian <3 She has a husband allegedly but I’m a minkowski was lying about being married truther. like why would she call his work phone if they were married??? It all adds up

Gender Headcanon: personally I think of her as cis although I strongly respect transfem headcanons as well. transmasc is definitely fair it’s just not what I think of with her character. The only wolf 359 characters I personally think of as trans are Maxwell, Hera (<sort of canon in a sense), and maybe Jacobi. 50/50 on Jacobi. Who’s to say.

A ship I have with said character: do I even have to say it. Minlace canon and real they are meant to be. There is barely any self deception involved in my perception of their relationship those women are GAY. It’s in the podcast like not intentionally but they will say incredibly gay things. From time to time. Well anyway I like how their personalities are in some ways different (ie how Lovelace is in many ways paralleled with Eiffel (although obviously they have a lot of differences as well such as Lovelace being incredibly mean)) but they get along very well and work well as a team. I like them both a lot individually as characters as well. They’re both really funny

A BROTP I have with said character: Im willfully ignoring the potentially cringe language used in this post Im just going to think of it as platonic relationship. It probably means friendship specifically idk if that’s how I would describe her and Eiffel though. I know they care abt each other a lot and ok they probably are friends but idk. Comrades maybe. Whatever the point is I really like their relationship especially in the finale, I like how she really wants to keep him safe and her entire crew as well, and how the two of them have been through so much together and they’re really close even though they hated each other initially. It’s nice to see it change so much over time + they have a lot of moments together I really like. Like when he came back from being stuck in a freezer for however long that was Im actually not sure it was a while though

A NOTP I have with said character: Her and Eiffel is unhinged I don’t think anyone actually thinks this probably. Her x Dominic Koudelka if you respect this woman’s marriage then get out ‼️

A random headcanon: I think she has a buzzcut because since this is an audio medium characters can look like whatever I want. I think she would be a cat person. For some reason I think of her as having lived in California like San Francisco specifically. That might be canon and I just forgot when I heard it but she is from Cali to me. I mean after she was from Poland

General Opinion over said character: I love her so much I’ve said this so many times I’m getting tired of saying that I’ve said this before but unironically she’s like the exact opposite of what I complain abt with women in mainstream sci fi action comedy. She’s a heavily flawed character but also has a lot of strengths as well, like she’s a good leader. Has a lot of development over the course of the series. I like her development and she’s very multifacteted as well. #1 minkowski stan whatever whatever. She is definitely my favorite character in wolf 359 which is saying a lot w/how much I love Eiffel and the overall cast as well

Rocio:

Sexuality canon: lesbian also not much else to say not much to elaborate on. Well I guess it is kind of funny she’s like I will transcend humanity…. To the next level of existence…. wait omg a cute girl 😖😖😖🥰🥰🥰. Not in those words. But that’s the idea

Gender canon: Largely indifferent to the concept, hasn’t really actively thought abt it but if she did she’d be like wow I literally don’t care at all like the concept has no influence on reality to her. Doesn’t dislike being seen as a woman in particular she’d be fine with that or genderless. The problem is being perceived at all lol.

A ship I have with said character: I’ve been thinking about her and Gloria recently I mean ofc I was going to say that because that is the relationship I put them in. And it is the only one that remotely makes any sense out of the OCs in this story. But yeah let’s talk abt some of the details with them

being around gloria makes rocio feel way more down to earth because 1) gloria herself is usually focused on the present moment 2) she is genuinely just annoying, she actively gets on rocios nerves enough that they’ll be distracted from being existentially depressed long enough to argue with her. But Rocio actually loves arguing + Gloria likes attention from anyone (it being slightly negative helps because she doesn’t have to worry abt letting anyone down) so they actually have fun together

One thing I like about Rocio is that for all their grandiose ideas and also incredible power they get embarrassed/flustered very easily which Gloria thinks is really funny and kind of cute

they each respect each other’s ability to do whatever they want and not care about the consequences or what other people think (even though this is a bad thing for both of them lol). However Rocio respects Gloria increasingly as she starts to doubt herself whereas Gloria loses a lot of respect for Rocio when she sees how she sometimes treats others + also how she’s not being cool and mysterious she’s also pathetic and annoying at times. It doesn’t make her hate them though it makes her pity them

I think they actually could work even though they don’t have that much in common it’s abt their personalities and the understanding they have of each other from pretty early on. They both get that the other needs to have space yk + especially after they become a bit more emotionally mature. They should talk to a couples therapist that would actually help a lot. Not marriage material probably (

A BROTP I have with said character: Due to the nature of their personality they have somewhat limited options…. I mean I would probably say Cirillo lol but Im going to talk abt Angel as well

During the story her friendship with Cirillo is solid but there are some flaws to it. They both depend on each other a lot because he doesn’t have a place to live without them and they need him to help with basic tasks (mostly communication based, like he’ll talk on the phone for her or order for her at stores sometimes). But this also creates a lot of tension because he’s really really nice to her and she really isn’t in return both bc she doesn’t want to (she used to just not really like/be comfortable talking face to face but now the problem is the act of communicating at all. It’s not THAT extreme most days but 1) sometimes it is 2) she wants to avoid it overall. Also bc she is afraid of interpersonal relationships, justifying it as not having time for them or them getting on the way of her goals, but really she’s just afraid of someone being close to her.) and because she can’t. But she feels pretty guilty about this no matter how much she wishes she didn’t. Cirillo usually wants to be understanding of this, he honestly doesn’t care that they don’t talk much because he can get that from other sources, he’s mostly just concerned. To be clear this isn’t me trying to talk about him as a perfect saint because 1) he neglects his own needs way too much and lets people treat him however they want out of guilt and a misplaced sense of respecting everyone even if they’re not a good person at all or treat him or others badly 2) he takes personal responsibility for Rocio’s mental and physical health which is already highly stupid because he is literally incapable of fixing the problem, but he’s also too nice to her to actually confront her about unhealthy things she’s doing in the slightest so the problem just gets worse and they both feel terrible. Jesus Christ did I spend this long explaining just the bad parts of their relationship there are good parts too omg. Rocio really appreciates how he’s willing to be accommodating and understanding when other people aren’t. She tries to help him where she can like looking for jobs for him or something. They can communicate very easily and do know each other pretty well since they actually talked via letters for like 3 years prior to the start of the story. On the very rare occasions where Rocio does feel like spending time with someone they both do enjoy it, like they’d go to the sea and watch the boats or some old man shit like that. But when they can handle it they like listening to him talk (+he likes spending time with literally anyone in any setting, they both appreciate peaceful settings a lot) and they absolutely appreciate all the things he’s done for her in the past, like theyre absolutely aware of how helpful he’s been and they probably would have been screwed in a lot of situations (there’s a lot of bureaucracy wizards have to go through for example lots of talking to people at colleges and government offices and things) without him since they don’t really know anyone else they can go to for help.

Ángel honestly never really knew her that well even though he wanted to, and she used him for personal gain and left him to die ( < there is slight nuance to this part in that at this point rocio really actually did need to make it to the tower in order to prevent a shit ton of people from dying and they might not have if they were still protecting Angel, as well as the fact that he wouldn’t have been the primary target of the demons anyway since they had already used his blood to open the portal so he wasn’t really an important factor anymore.) I’m not sure whether this would ruin their relationship permanently though because I think Rocios actions should have lasting consequences and this would be a really good opportunity to demonstrate that and contrast it with Cirillo forgiving her. But on the other hand I genuinely think it’s more in character for Angel to forgive her, he really wants to understand others in part out of curiosity but also because of loneliness. Tiago’s death was really really hard on him (yes they knew each other for literally a day but Angel had literally never had a friend before in his life) so he does really want companionship wherever he can get it. And he was willing to forgive Victor (even though what he did was probably not as bad even though it was more directly harmful it was WAY less risky and he probably had a better justification) I definitely don’t think he’d be totally fine with Rocio at all. But he would want to understand them better and why they did what they did, and he’d definitely be open to knowing them in the future. He’d like ask them why and what was going on and he’d want to hear everything they were thinking during the time they knew each other. And then after that I think he would forgive her ( < they would definitely cry like 5x during the explanation, they as in both of them), not to say he’s obligated to at all (I actually think it would be better for him not to have contact with her ever again lmao) but that’s what i think he’d do based on his priorities and the kind of person he is. I don’t think they’d actively spend time together usually but they have a lot of mutual friends so they’d be cool whenever they saw each other. Rocio will never stop feeling bad about it as long as they live. But they’re also pretty grateful to him as well.

A NOTP I have with said character: Setting aside the her being a lesbian thing she and Cirillo would not work I bring this up bc one time I saw writing something for them like a year ago and it accidentally sounded very romantic and it’s haunted me ever since. They would be miserable. It would be like all the problems with their friendship but exaggerated times 1000. They have no interests in common he’s a #extrovert she’s a #introvert he would try really hard to solve all her problems and it would make them both very sad when he’d inevitably fail. Just awful. But anyway in terms of people she could actually be with theoretically:

Laura: To be clear he’s 20 even though I’ve said she’s 18 before I changed my mind she is 20 so there’s not really an age gap. This is kind of out of left field I’d have to think abt this. Yeah it would not work

Lucia: She doesn’t like them lol but even if she did/got to know them better I don’t think it would really work she’s too down to earth and really opposes a lot of what Rocio believes in philosophically, not to mention their personalities would not work together at all theyre both very reserved and need someone who would actively make them feel comfortable (Lucia by being nice to her and listening to what she has to say, Rocio by being willing to argue with them + straight up by annoying them sometimes. And for both of them being willing to carry the conversation) which they could not do for each other AT ALL

So in the story I think literally anything besides her and Gloria would be out of character 😔 but honestly I wouldn’t be that strongly against these either like in the context of fans doing them the first one makes zero sense but whatever but the second I could see working if you slightly reinterpreted the characters or something it could be ok and it would also be really funny. If you changed Joanna or Salem to not be straight that would also be hilarious so I wouldn’t care about that either. I guess I would say her and Cirillo or her and Ángel I would be the most strongly against bc even though that couldn’t happen in universe I can see someone doing it anyway and I would not care for it.

A random canon: The first spell she learned how to do was to create fire. This was her final project at her college and doing this was what got her entered as a candidate to become a wizard like fully. At first she could only create a candle sized flame but she’s practiced it a lot and now can create like a bonfire relatively easily. They will die at around 200 years old outliving all of their friends also. (<wizards live for longer and age more slowly automatically) Kind of sad but it does mean they’ll live to see the 1990s which is funny. I mean they would have with a normal lifespan very likely as well they’d only be 70 or so. Whatever

General Opinion over said character: they’re just okay. No idk I really like how their design looks personally, it’s not very elaborate but I’m happy with it. I’ve had them for so long (<2.5 years not actually that long) and thought abt them so much so I like seeing how much they’ve developed over time. I’m really happy with them :) at least conceptually I think they’re interesting I like the different aspects of their character and relationship with others and I think some aspects of their development are heartwarming to me or whatever. I mean bc I created them. But yeah really love this character a lot. They’re fun and pretty easy to draw too <3

#thanks for asking!!#I always forget how long these take lol but this was really fun #I really need to come up with the full list of magic Rocio can do #there’d probably be abt 4-5 things #but you have to think what’s in character for their priorities yk #my ocs #rocio satapathy

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msommers · 2 years

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I would love more Maeve + Superstore thoughts, her friendship with Jonah sounds amazing

(i forgot about this in my drafts for too many days bc i’m a huge dummy don’t look at me here we go slamming post lmfao) oh boy, the tags were a 30 second long goof experiment but i'm always prepared to extend that for any scenario. let's make up some absolute nonsense for the lulz and cuteness.

literally do not ask me why posh brit accent maeve is working at a store in missouri because i don't have time for it and that's not part of the "everything here is for fun" theme.

one of her running gags is that she’s always talking about concepts for stories and tropes that she wants to explore/deconstruct, but anytime she’s asked about progress she’ll have some wild explanation for why she didn’t get very far into writing. there have been at least two rr martin comments made about how long it’s taken her to finish her first book. jonah, amy, sandra and cheyenne have all read some of her short stories/misc chapters of the first book because they’re here favorites full stop. final two seasons are for sure the “oh [bleep], maeve published her book and it’s really taking off” arc for her.

cheyenne is the little sister that she never had, they have matching nails and accessories all the time. maeve often does her hair for her because it’s fun to them and gives them chat time.

she did sandra’s hair and make-up for her wedding 🥰

was genuinely intimidated and putoff by dina for a good while but i cannot be talked out of believing that they wouldn’t have a c-plot in a later season episode of maeve making dina look as hot as can be and trying to teach her how to flirt without being so blunt. is she successful with that last bit?? not really, but she gets to dress dina up and also receive some good advice on not taking people’s shit along the way so that’s fantastic (garrett’s dying in the background and that’s all part of the plan tbh)

obligatory b-plot of maeve having to explain bisexuality and polamory to the breakroom clowns because most of them can’t understand her love life. probably came about as a result of another running gag where maeve talks about one of her dates and it doesn’t add up with her former comments much to the confusion of her coworkers, and then she has to whip out the lecture because she gets accused of straight up lying or fooling around on her partner.

once accidentally made people think she and amy were going on a date because she told justine they were "going out for dinner tonight" and it started an entire Discussion behind their backs (she does, in fact, put out the offer to amy before leaving work. gotta shoot that shot, maybe amy’s feeling a little curious that night who knows a girl can dream)

she and jonah instantly connected and became great friends. they share a specific optimistic outlook in the way that they can see the world for what it could be instead of what it currently is and it’s something that brought them together, then kept them close even through the rough times. she loves his commitment and dedication to any cause that he undertakes, his efforts are inspiring and keep her going whenever her own start to waver. she is absolutely obsessed with how he consistently finds a way to put his foot in his mouth during any conversation, the yin to her yang as maeve’s known for being able to spin a web as quickly and for as long as necessary. their shared need to be validated and praised goes a long way between them because they’re annoyingly nice to each other all the time. they’re those two at the breakroom table talking animatedly about their latest interest or topic they picked up from a podcast/news article/reddit post (toxic masculinity, current politics, feminism, some obscure piece of history or a cryptid of the week, etc). he’s endlessly patient with her and she’s beyond thankful for it. flipside is that she unironically loves listening to him go off on his Woke Rants and gets bullied about it but doesn’t care, she’s there for him through the relationship struggles and does her best to give advice while not stepping over the line (might toe it once or twice but. what can you do, she’s a drama lover). she might have been late because beauty routines but she was also there each step of the way for the union work, besties get it done. maeve sweet talks them and then jonah goes on a righteous rant it’s a win/win.

i think it’s entirely possible she and jonah dated because of how well they get along, but i don’t see it lasting a crazy long time. maybe two, three months at the most (perhaps it’s mostly bc i’m an amy/jonah hoe and they belong together forever but whatever, don’t perceive me). a scenario where they’d both decide it’s better they stay friends and they get away with it without much weirdness, aka maeve’s fine and jonah or the coworkers makes it awkward sometimes before it settles. i do in fact think he’d be the first love interest of maeve’s that i can see her using “baby” as the primary petname because like,,,it’s jonah. you get it. if they dated, she has a photo taken of them from one of their dates taped up in her breakroom locker and it stays up there until she leaves the job bc she adores it so much.

insert bit where maeve makes a threesome joke with her + jonah and amy, and there’s a pause Just long enough with everyone looking between each other that it appears genuine consideration is there but the camera cuts before anything else is said. the world may never know what happened after that

everyone keeps trying to make drama between her and amy because they’re both close to jonah, but i fully believe maeve would adore and respect her far too much to reach any level of rivalry. she’d be in awe of how strong of a woman amy is between raising her children and working her ass off so successfully, and i imagine a lot of their bonding would be maeve persuading her into taking time for herself or them having girls’ nights (whether by themselves or with some of the others).

put the tabby obligated “they have two hands” joke here about maeve/amy/jonah. i haven’t put any thought into if it’d work out or if the other two could be into that sort of relationship but i’m legally and morally obligated to bring it up on the principle that it’s My Thing.

#ch: maeve sommers #i don't know what else to tag this as so i simply won't #days later tabby here: i have vague memories of writing these things super late at night so that's prolly why it was forgotten #between that and dnd the day after lol #a whole load of rambles and y'know what that's tabby all over so i'm leaving it like this #we're not here for neatly organized or fancily worded thoughts #thank you for the ask!!! it was so fun n cute

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mallowstep · 3 years

Text

tpons initial/reading thoughts

keeping my "liveblogging" in one place to maintain my mortorium on spoilers

tpons spoilers below the cut. obviously.

prologue

i swear to god if bramblestar comes back and i don't get squirrelstar i might actually seek out the collective representation of erin hunter and kill her

chapter one

bristlefrost.

bristlefrost, can you hear me [1].

jayfeather is under exactly the same stress as alderheart. so either you're implying alder is weak or you're in the "adoption isn't real" camp and i'm neutral on you as a character, i don't want to dislike you.

you know, i thought the scene in mtbnsof where all of thunderclan is like "yeah, let's just exile squirrelflight" [2] was exaggeration, and honestly i spent a long time workshopping it to make sure it felt natural, but apparently i didn't have to do that, because the characters are canonically OK with it!

do y'all want your leader back or bramblestar? (i'm not salty nope not me.) also twigbranch the fuck do you mean "it would be wonderful if bramblestar came back" like what he barely let you stay in thunderclan stfg.

fuck, i can't tell whether or not sparkpelt is denying lionblaze and jayfeather as squilf's kits, but they're really ruining my good faith in adoption. or just proving my point that it's not about adoption.

does thunderclan care about shadowsight? what is going on i swear did they forget he killed bramble and is responsible for the entire mess right now?

chapter two

shadowsight you did a bad of course they're not hiding how disappointed they are you did a bad my son

lmao it's the reverse of tawnypelt's clan [3], shadowsight is being kidnapped against his will for the tribe. also please can we go back to the tribe but only if it's good

he listed dovewing next to "clan leader" not "clan leader's mate" which implies dovewing has shc's respect which yes i stan

aww siblings being siblings. i miss that from po3. nothing has captured it as well. well, like, the sight.

chapter three

you know, i think part of why i've struggled so much with this arc is because i just don't like any of the pov characters. i don't dislike any of them but i don't like them.

yeah! tree defending rootspring!!!! fuck. good fathers in warriors.

so rootspring calls lionblaze TC deputy which means squirrelstar [4].

god they go, like, ages without caring whose parent is who and suddenly they're covering it all over again but like, in an adoption bad way, and just, fuck you erin hunter [5].

it's good to see lionblaze does care about her, fuck, can we just get some consistency here. (i mean god rootspring he lost his mom too --- i mean, if anyone should know this, your mom was violetshine, posterchild for bad adoption, who fought w twigbranch over adoptive mother shit)

i want a bernie meme like "i am once again asking for adoption to be treated like a legitmate form of family."

chapter four

wait why the fuck is bris faster than windclan their whole thing is being fast

also that moonkitti video about harestar having no personality[6] is painfully real i know nothing about this man

oh huh we were just talking about windclan camp[7]. this is actually pretty similar to the first ever description, right down to bris wondering how people sleep there (they don't.) well, uh, credit where credit is due, good job for sticking to your guns on windclan sleeps outside.

i love how crow and breeze being difficult is just common knowledge.

oh, so crowfeather gets credit for the three? fucking hell man i'm done.

also fuck you crowfeather for victim blaming i will be making a call out post so help me [8]

okay i'm ngl it feels like bris is crushing on lionblaze. i don't think that's supposed to be a thing [9], it just feels like that.

okay okay okay i'm confused in earlier books the great battle was like a well discussed thing. god, avos had that whole the names of the fallen thing. and now, not even a full generation later, and bris doesn't understand the dark forest? (also who's even in the dark forest?)

(oh wait this book is going to answer that. uh for the record, now, squirrelstar/mtbnsof has been fully plotted and will disregard whatever this book says, unless it's good.)

oh wow i guess we're just throwing out the concept of the moonpool why don't we. really, everything i heavily justified/couched in mtbnsof is happening unironically in canon.

mothwing and willowshine god fucking damn. they're prob my fav mentor/apprentice relationship. mistystar's omen stg.

what is it with everyone and bouncing all the fuck around with squirrelflight? like, okay, i'd get it if they doubted her because yeah, i could make a strong argument about clan morality and her actions [10]. but they're so on and off about it i hate it.

shadowsight.

shadowsight, can you hear me.

you're literally saying, "i could solve this, if i had a solution to the problem."

well ig we know who he takes after.

chapter five

what's up with this "darkest thoughts" bullshit come on you're really going to invalidate ivypool like that?

lionblaze really do be going back and forth. can't blame him he's not used to having a character.

also, i really love jayfeather standing up for alderheart [11].

mothwing wtf how're you getting to hell you don't believe in it. how do you have faith in shit. also please stop trashing shadowsight [12]. that said, she's absolutely right, she would be the ideal cat for the job, considering she has warrior training.

jayfeather what the fuck dude why are you suggesting it. although i'm glad at least he acknowledges his connection to squilf. good job. good job for being the one fucking character.

willowshine. willowshine baby no. don't do it. willowshine. willowshine no. don't do it. baby. no. please. i'm crying please don't do it.

"well, Mothwing, I admire everything about you" holy fucking shit what a line that's a line to inspire so much fic [13].

willow please baby no. please. send kestrelwing or something. puddleshine. anyone but you please baby.

damn okay what is with the connection between mothwing and.

no.

no no no no no.

they're killing willowshine.

why.

she's. baby. please no. she's not read. she's too. no. i can't.

ffs moth please stop dissing shadow like this he doesn't deserve this. (also, unrelated, did, uh, did puddleshine name shadowsight for spiresight, a cat he never met and had no connection with? fuck i forgot what happened there.)

you know, out of the med cats, mothwing and jayfeather are the oldest. it's nice to see that dynamic have weight: when jayfeather speaks, people listen. it's been a while since we've had that role of the med cats in thunderclan.

god willow is dead and i'm going to sob.

chapter six

I FUCKING CALLED IT I HATE EVERYTHING

why did they have kill my baby [14]

when did rootspring get fucking responsible this is worse than when i got responsible

also mothwing i'm so sorry.

fuck.

i didn't cry i was too angry and i cried about it last night because i knew it was coming just.

they didn't have to do her dirty like that.

chapter seven

just, before we begin, still sad about this willowshine bs. give me back my baby.

oh gee bristlefrost i wonder why lionblaze can't talk about his mother being taken away

does this mean they're going to acknowledge adoption again? please let this not be me raising my hopes too soon.

also really with all this lionblaze = deputy stuff...i just want squils [15]

oh lionblaze is back on his bullshit again. like, dude. he was instructed to treat ashfur. he was ordered. jesu maria.

uh. spotfur. what the fuck?

okay, first of all, squilf was chosen as deputy, so yes, she does in fact inherit leadership. that's...that's just wrong.

if you want to complain about lionblaze, sure, i hate it as much as you [16]. but squilf?

yes, yes, please give me ivystar [17]. if i can't have squilfstar (and i don't think i can, hence the existence of mtbnsof [18]), please let me have ivypool. (although mousewhisker? who said that lmfao.)

uh, lionblaze? there are so many better choices. i think bristlefrost would do a better job. (that's not an idea please don't give me bristlestar.)

ayyyyy! graystripe! what a man. what a time.

(graystripe and his gd dramatic entrances.)

also it's good to see elders getting the respect they deserve. (wait what what what the fuck happened to him.)

hehe (mtbnsof spoilers) i'm glad at some level that like, i identified key things that need to happen to make the story interesting and compelling, and they're happening. tbc really is picking up with the good writing. i have a lot of thoughts about this, but mostly, like, these books have changed since when i started them, but i'm happy with where they got. also, lmao i'm dying because like, yeah fuck i don't even know, i can't believe both the worst and best parts of mtbnsof have made it into this. god. what a world.

oh thank god lionblaze is stepping down.

hey, uh...is anyone going to follow up with what graystripe was doing? this is getting sus i can't take another thing i just need to trust someone.

chapter eight

i'm still not over willowshine

i. can people decide if dark forest is punishment or. wasn't lionblaze against sending shadowsight? i can't remember shit i should be taking useful notes i have a memory problem xd

aww dovewing mom.

you know i have a quick q: in skyclan & the stranger, leafstar's kits call her mama. but i don't think we've seen any adult cats say that. what's up w that?

oh dovewing i love you but...nah i just love you

that said, uh, can shadowsight's behavior be treated consistently? i don't know something is just bothering me.

oh yeah icewing exists lmao. forgot about that. can this continue like can shadowclan be the new home for wayward souls? they kind of deserve it after all of the villains they've had. and the earliest books kind of implied shadowclan used to do that.

i really, like, okay. cats like icewing are all "durr hurr dark forest very bad" and then others are like "bruh hell is real?"

uh. nope. i hate this implication that the dark forst is poisonous. very bad very bad very bad.

aww tigerstr being a good dad. breaking the cycle. first one [19].

i really, like, why do cats blame shadowsight? he wanted to go? he wanted to be the one? like, wtf?

urgh who wants to be warriorcatsfandommisandry [20] would praise shadow's rule breaking while victim-blaming squilf for the same behavior.

well, uh, ig i'm glad mothwing secretly cares about shadowsight? like, that's kind of fixing her character. kind of.

chapter nine

wow this post is getting long whoops i mean it is all of my notes on a book. usually i condense em into the good stuff.

lmao shadowsight b like "yeah if i die sorry my dad's gonna kill u luv u thanks for coming >3"

seriously mothwing was definitely the cat to choose considering she could 100% fight. also, like, his body is at risk?

you know, i think mothwing is supposed to be having a jayfeather arc here, but it's crippled by the fact that we're not in her head [21].

how many cats are even in the dark forest wasn't this the whole plot of oots that they're all dead?

also, like, i'm glad mothwing is back to herself. i don't even care about the inconsistency i'm happy to have mothwing back.

seriously it's starting to get to me that the knowledge of the great battle is so inconsistent.

okay i like that we've ditched the "darkest thoughts" thing that was kind of stupid

squirrelflight

(i am crying she's here again fuck)

chapter ten

okay yeah valid gotta maintain that tension (altho fuck you erin hunter [5])

huh. i still kinda hate rootspring for basically no reason ngl

you know, i've never questioned this, but how the fuck does moss ball work? moss doesn't work like that god no no no i can't over think it [22].

you know, forbidden romance might be "overdone" but it's worth pointing out that we very rarely get the perspective of the cats in the forbidden romance

lmao what is it with greystripe? like? is everyone in love with him? i'm not being fair to him just...what?

emotional support wife dovewing [23]

i really wish there was a deeper bond between bris, rootspring, and shadow. i appreciate the viewpoints into different clans, but with no meaningful differences in culture, it's just weird because we're used to po3 and avos and stuff where our leads are really close to each other.

willow

willow baby

you know it's occurred to me i've never vocalized my love for willowshine on this blog before now? xd see i don't actually talk about my favorite characters that much. i talk about dovewing the most out of my top 3 (dovewing, jayfeather, willowshine, in no particular order), but they just kind of feel...too personal? because i have really specific reasons to connect with all of them.

dovewing just happens to be for reasons i'm most able to share >3

willow please don't be corrupted

chapter eleven

please i just want to know squilf is okay

bris u fucking idiot we've established the moonpool is deep. don't you remember literally yesterday?

flametail imagery

"drypaws" what a word. interesting ik leopardstar just avoided water, but here bris can't swim. i don't care i'm just happy for some gd culture

okay i've said it before and i've said it again: i draw the line at cat cpr

wait what is daisy doing? fuck was i supposed to read the novellas first? is this what daisy's kin is about? when did daisy leave? did i miss something? what's going on??

okay can we...like, cats who aren't elders trained in the dark forest. this wasn't even a full generation ago. lionblaze. breezepelt. just...guys.

tigerdove...so cute. i love them [23].

where tf are the sisters they got here so fast

like bruh...i liked the sisters but now they're like, clan on demand ghost summoners? i think? idk clearly i'm missing something very important

emotional support wife dovewing

chapter twelve

i see shadowsight and i don't see squirrelflight and i have a complaint

oh uhhh who's snowtuft again?

also i feel like, i feel like i made my point about it being empty

a light in the mist title drop dodoododod

bruh what is ashfur even

oh series one cat xd yeah that checks

look. if they're not in the allegiances, i don't remember them for shit, okay? my series one memory is excellent, it's just that series one cared about thunderclan, and, like, tallstar

squilf squilf squilf squilf squilf if she's not in this chapter i'm going to scream it is 2am bitch

I AM SCREAMING BITCH

chapter thirteen

the scream lengthens

just give me her

at least i get to spend time with willowshine?

wait mapleshade is still alive? i thought someone killed her oop

also uh yeah how did ashfur amass power like, that bitch is an incel he's done nothing but fail to kill three cats and get murdered and go to heaven

are there even enough dark forest cats for that?

rootspring this is a bad idea don't do this haven't you seen horror movies stop being the white chick

sad ghosts r sad sigh

chapter fourteen

when did warriors get all "oh no can't do multiple chapters of the same narrator in a row" please nobody fucking cares that bris is sad i just want to see squirrelflight

lmao bris like "it's illegal to be atheist" bitch i read code of the clans exactly once i know it's dovestar who tried that and the answer was no.

ah, tree. actually mediating, for once.

god, bris...why is firestar's legacy so large? like, fuck, i know why, i just...

also, tree, she said a nobel and true Clan, not the clan. so like, maybe chill out for a moment [24].

hnnnng family drama also i really like that tree loves his wife very good very good

dfskj okay mothwing missing riverclan would be much more impactful if we actually knew what was going on in riverclan. (like, say, if willowshine was a pov in this arc [25]?) also, you know, riverclan has had so many problems with treating cats badly? god, a shadow in riverclan. wait, like, shouldn't mothwing also remember/reflect on this? wait this would be so much better if we had more pov for this fuck

also fuck off bris about being proud you are so fucking priviledged your forbidded romance drama is as intense as like, idek, the notebook? from someone who lived through, uh, forbidded romance that involved threatening to send someone to conversion camp [26], fuck off

bruh. why is she acting like thunderclan is gone xd you have no idea what it's like for a clan to almost fall apart yeah i stand by my comments on shadow/skyclan.

"what will my place be?" it will be a fucking warrior of thunderclan??? all you've ever wanted???? god she's...look i get it she's like, my age. and lord knows i don't react gracefully to shit. she's stressed, i get it. i do. but also, just, ffs bris. get it together.

"you die in the dark forest, you die in real life" can we meme that?

oooh okay it would be really good to get all three pov cats in the dark forest [27].

also, how long has rootspring been down there? how does this work? what's up with shadowsight? what is anything even? how long has it been?

thank you mothwing for pointing out bristlefrost is extremely unexperienced.

also can i just say, i really like bris' name? like i think bristlefrost is an extremely cute and good name. cute in that it's cute and good in that it conveys her character well.

god i want mothwing pov on this [25].

why is bris so convinced that if she doesn't act, rootspring isn't coming back?

chapter fifteen

wow i had a lot of notes on last chapter huuuh

oh vibe do i finally get squilf

stopping caring about bramble shadow no one fucking cares

seriously when did ashfur get this, uh, good at being a villain?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

she's

here

fuck i'm crying

poor bb i just. poor baby.

okay. ashfur. let me making something clear.

i do not understand why in the world squilf would ever choose bramble [28]. but you're fucked as a choice.

ffs yellowfang this is why we don't say "his only crime was loving too much"

okay well as much as i'm confused by his power his characterization here is fantastic. i'm really glad we got ashfur back as a villain, you know.

good job squirrelflight. do not take unnecessary blame.

(also please learn to transfer these skills to your pos husband.)

#when you can't get her to love you by killing her husband and dragging her into hell so you think you can make her love you by showing her how you're torturing the souls of her loved ones

you know i had the snowtuft thing spoiled for me i just forgot who snowtuft was so it had 0 impact

damn bramblestar is still alive.

dammit.

people kept calling lionblaze deputy don't do that to me if you're not following through on it ffs

okay not to pimp out my own fic but if you're interested in a squirrelstar au, "may there be no sadness of farewell" is my squils (squirrelstar) au and it does have an imposter arc. so you know. if that's your thing.

hnng my thoughts on bramble [29] aside i can appreciate the drama

ashfur. ashfur. ashfur you fucking idiot you're the one fighting her. also fuuuck i love this character. if i was bookmarking this on ao3 you know it'd get the "hot damn" tag.

huh. uh, wow. good chapter. hot damn. loved it. loved it so much.

hate what it means for my hopes and dreams, but very good. very intense. i approve.

chapter sixteen

eh, wasn't she going to the dark forest? did i forget something?

ohhh dream

huh this is interesting

and cute.

i love the "everything is fine" trope so much tho

does...did no one ever describe ashfur to bris?

you know, i think this is why so many people, me included, go with the we-don't-talk-about-our-villains thing. sure, it makes some bits awkward, but...yeesh

huh. weird chapter. both impactful and kinda meh.

chapter seventeen

you know i'm feeling a lot of things right now, and i might have to just give in and finish this damn thing.

we'll see.

willow willow willow willow willow

sigh ffuuuck she's dead. i'm sad. i'm going to write a fic about her. "under a willow tree" i have plans. it's going to be good.

yeah see okay. i made a joke about warriors needing to make not talking about shit part of the culture and i'm glad they did because it works

squilf!!!!!!!!!

oh fuck i'm crying again. my girl. she's here. she's here.

of course they saved you!!!!!! you're!!!!! squilf!!!!!!

please get nine lives.

please.

let the body be dead.

let bramble die.

please.

chapter eighteen

okay seriously i really want to memify "if you die in the dark forest, you die in real life"

oh rip shadow's ear. that sucks. huh. i'm gonna have to explore this, too. esp. w dovewing.

eeeeee mothwing being mothwing again i'm happy

willow

mothwing stick to ur guns for a moment

also i appreciate the "u can't tell me what to do i'm a med cat" thing going on

hehe tigerdad (where's dovewing my beloved)

chapter nineteen

wow okay i'm 3/4 of the way through

dammit rip squilf something something exploring some canon complient stuff.

huh, shadowsight. do you think maybe. being in the dark forest. is bad. do you think. maybe.

bruh shadow way to go call out your own father smh.

mothwing, my dear, you're the one who didn't want to treat him like that. i mean i'm glad you're standing up for him but this kind of makes your whole treatment of him feel like a plot device.

okay, i'm glad that's a formal thing, med cats > leaders, that makes me happy

i really want to know what alderheart is up to.

yeah really why have they waited so long. i mean i forgot about them too but the sisters seem like an obvious choice? since they're here?

(also i'm still really confused by the daisy thing.)

heh i really do need to read squilf's hope. i've been putting it off (i don't want to read cft, but...), but i think it's about time.

rootspring what? okay going to read it now ig

okay okay i'm really glad the sisters are like fuck we're done w y'all cause that's been a long time coming

what debt where the sisters in to the clans XD???

chapter twenty one

"moonpond"xxd i'm dying

awww tigerdad

don't the sisters know the basics of herbal healthcare?

poor tigerstar. no no guys. his wife was in a dangerous prophecy, and now his son is. :(

tigerdad!!!!!!!

ohhh this chapter hit hard

chapter twenty two

"the sign of a true leader" is...talking fast?

dfsjadfskj rootspring you are lead by leafstar the best and most capable leader the fuck are you talking about

:((((((((( brambles........alive

is squirrelstar so much to ask for

y'all're lucky i was going to release "ilex aquafolium" tonight as a follow-up to "better left unsaid" because freyja (my cat) chose it to be next in the rotation but i might end up finishing chapter three of "may there be no sadness of farewell" first because coping

chapter twenty three

you know writing that chapter did not take me better i forgot mtbnsof is angst until like...the epilogue

heyyy they're back....i'm.....soo....happy...about......this [30]

i mean i feel like every one is way too trusting how do u know it's the real squilf?

shadowsight bris rootspring polycule? just a thought

oh. so that's it, then.

you know, i enjoyed it.

citation: a moonkitti video ↩︎

see here to read it, but...you could probably get it in canon ↩︎

legally i have to tell you i haven't actually read this yet ↩︎

please let me have this. ↩︎

where "erin hunter" refers to the collective who writes warriors ↩︎ ↩︎

it's called "leader chance" if you're interested ↩︎

okay, techincally i was talking about riverclan dens, but it's close. ↩︎

for my own personal reference, pg 50 on phone. about 19% ↩︎

warrior cats still hasn't invented cheating. also, no, i'm not going overboard on the footnotes. ↩︎

nts, do this. or add on to like "daughter of mine" or "secrets passed over in the dead of night" ↩︎

gives more weight to sunset and evening star. ↩︎

although also guys it's not that out of character for her. like, she's always been quick to do what she thinks is right, and this time, it's the wrong thing. you know? ↩︎

including my own fuck. ↩︎

spoilers for mtbnsof. i mean i know i killed willow for exactly the same reason but...why'd they have to lift all of my least favorite parts of squilfstar. ↩︎

squilf but for squirrelstar. coined in my drafting notes for mtbnsof ↩︎

to be clear, he's wrong, i just wouldn't bother arguing because it's annoying having lionblaze as clan leader. ↩︎

nts: do something with this. mtbnsof spoilers. even if i don't end up going through to squils death, i want to do something with ivystar, preferably before the entire clan is ocs. ↩︎

in case you're new here, my ao3 is mallowstep and mtbnsof stands for may there be no sadness of farewell, a squirrelstar au that begins at the end of lost stars. ↩︎

"love knows no bounds (but maybe it should)" (unannounced) spoilers. ...i say, knowing about how he's, uh, not in lknb. ↩︎

hopefully, i'm speaking ill of the dead and not summoning the devil. hopefully. ↩︎

yes of course i will now be writing that thank you for calling me out. we will also be exploring her relationship with religion. title? unsure, but we might reuse "i'll believe the wind is calling me" since that has been scrapped and salvaged ↩︎

only valid kit play scene is now the one at the beginning of the sight. ↩︎

no tigerdove discourse please. i'm not in the mood for it. play nice. ↩︎ ↩︎

although to be clear, the only actually noble and true clans, at least time of this book, are shadowclan and skyclan. ↩︎

nts - "under a willow tree" ↩︎ ↩︎

oh. so that's why i don't like her. ↩︎

it triples my odds of seeing squilf. ↩︎

i do. i really, really do. but until the erins acknowledge it, i try to ignore it in canon. otherwise i get too sad. ↩︎

as mentioned before, when i'm interacting with canon, my standards are a lot lower. because i like to enjoy the stories. that's why i write fix-it fic. ↩︎

i'm crying ↩︎

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xiaophobic · 3 years

Note

i can relate to the maidens beloved erasure because my level 20 barbara is crying. as long as you keep pressing the buttons and the enemies die you win, right? (this speech is coming from someone who had no clue how artifacts work until very late in the game. kids please dont be like me im not a good role model when it comes to this)

sPEAKING OF ARTIFS I GOT A REALLY GOOD ANEMO ONE THE OTHER DAY,,, IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL HAT WITH GREAT STATS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER SO EEEEEEEEE dearest its safe to say your well wishes weren't in vain, the stars aligned in my favor and the artifact archons blessed me. GL ON KAZUHA FARMING TOO !! our simp energy will overrun the domains rng 💞💖

now, this might seem like some unique conversation starter from yours truly but it was a really fun thing to think of for me so !! if you and your main team had to live together for a while (a shared house, apartment, you could even live in a mall together if you want, let your creativity ✨shine✨) how would things go? would there be people that utterly despise each other, would there be a bigger than usual fire involved when making dinner, or would all of you be super chill? you dont have to answer this question if you dont want to!! I just found it fun and felt like spreading it,,, hehe. If you'd like to know mine, I wouldn't mind answering either !

stay safe and have a great day love! <3

WAHHSGD OHMYGOD GOOD ANEMO ARTIFACT!! SO TRUE MY WISHES WORKED 😩 i’ve been dedicating all my resin to the anemo cube,, i’ll get back on farming for his artifacts soon 💔

I THINK ABOUT THIS CONCEPT ALL THE TIME I CANNOT BELIEVE SOMEONE HAS FINALLY BROUGHT IT UP SO I CAN TALK ABOUT IT!!! i really live for the domesticity vibes that the new teapot living gives so my mind has been FULL of brainrot surrounding how my team would live together. i apologize in advance cause i KNOW this is about to be long,,

okay so, i consider my “main team” the people who i regularly switch in/out, so that would be sucrose, xiao, bennett, and zhongli. so, for general living:

sucrose and i room together on the farthest end of the hallway because her experiments are prone to explosions but the closest room to ours is bennett’s since he’s the one most likely to be able to withstand said explosions should one get out of hand.

xiao’s room is upstairs because he “wants to be as far away from everyone as possible”

and zhongli’s room is on the other side of the hallway (his room also serves as his office)

now, onto my soft headcanons!!

all five of us share the fear of being alone, so if one is ever in a significantly bad mood, the rest are huddling up in their room to keep them company

bennett and xiao have a love/hate relationship that’s definitely one-sided, bennett’s congenial positivity is apparently “annoying” to xiao though you’ll see him listening surprisingly intently when bennett’s rambling

AND RAMBLING!!! we are all prone to it and we’re always talking each other’s ears off

zhongli is obviously our saving grace, being the more than designated parent of the group

he brings like tiny cartoon-themed bandaids when someone’s hurt WAHSHSH

sucrose has a cat that xiao claims to hate but never forgets to feed when she’s away

bennett looks around for unique-looking rocks so he can bring them home and have zhongli tell him about them

sucrose has tried more than once to create some kind of potion or anything that would alleviate xiao of some pain, she’s still working on it

xiao would probably genuinely consider murdering me, i’d annoy the shit out of him on purpose

i go up to him like “hey bestie!” and he looks at me with so much disgust AAHGSHASV

“how dare you address me with such friendly terminology?!”

xiao is my best friend guys

being that two of the five are immortal, we all try not to speak about birthdays too much

bennett is banned from cooking with zhongli...and by himself

he’s banned from the kitchen in general, sucrose pushes him out using anemo whenever he tries to light the stove

bennett unironically calls zhongli dad, and eventually everyone picks up the habit

xiao hates it when he realizes he does it as well though

“dad, could you— i mean mor— FUCK”

zhongli and sucrose doing each other’s hair 💖💘💗💓💞💝💕

sucrose is my girlfriend, not a headcanon just a fact 🥱

ANYWAY ZHONGLI WEAVING LIKE GLAZE LILLIES INTO HER HAIR AND SHE WEAVES CECILIAS INTO HIS <//3

oh yeah everyone collects sweet flowers for sucrose every time we go outside

bennett swears that xiao is partially mute at first or at least doesn’t have an extensive vocabulary like razor, so when xiao pulls up using words like “quackery” he literally cannot believe that he actually speaks

“THE EDGY DUDE SPEAKS?” “...edgy dude..?”

everyone cries when zhongli says he’s proud of them

i mean everyone

in conclusion, we’re a controlled kind of chaotic i believe!! i’d love to read about you and your main team so please tell me all about your living headcanons <33 aLSO, sunflower, my dear, is this you..? IM ALMOST POSITIVE IT IS but you forgot to sign off,,

#<🌻3 — anon !!#IM SO SORRY I WENT ON FOR SO LONG #atlas.asks

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sureivy · 5 years

Text

is that HALSEY? no, that’s just IVY CALDER. SHE is TWENTY-FOUR years old and is an EMPLOYEE AT DON’T FRET & PAWS 4 LOVE. rumor has it they’ve been in town for FOUR MONTHS / TEN YEARS. on a good day, they’re CREATIVE & VERSATILE. but watch out! they can also be IRRESPONSIBLE & VOLATILE. TRIGGER BANG BY LILY ALLEN (FT. GIGGS) plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill!

hello my pals ! i’m amy ( 20 // est // she/her ) and i am super excited to be here! we also over here bringing back a fairly old muse (i,, apparently,, play her during election years,,) with a couple of tweaks, so we love that for me! also! pls forgive me if this is lowkey disorganized, we’ve been in and out of airports all day! can’t wait to contract that sexy corona!

QUICK FACTS:

full name: ivy rose calder

date of birth: may 2, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: taurus sun, pisces moon, aquarius rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: high school diploma

enneagram: 7w8?

mbti: enfp

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

positive traits: creative, versatile, passionate, compassionate

negative traits: irresponsible, volatile, impressionable, hedonistic

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: brief implied sexual abuse, suicide, a lot of death talk?, drug abuse ( desoxyn ), overdose

ivy lived the first eight years of her life in newark, nj. she had a mere family of three – her mother, a model-turned-stay-at-home-mom, her father, a politician, and herself. she was much closer to her mother, but she and her father were close at night.

when her mother finally found out about this, she wasted no time in taking ivy’s father’s side. what a good mom! instead, ya girl was already getting in touch with cps herself... but wow... it was gonna ruin his career in politics :\

“Now, one thing I lerned from Storys is, when something big is about to okur, a riter will go: Then it hapened! This tells the reeder: Get Reddy. Here I go: Then it hapened!” - fox 8

then it happened!

humiliated, clearly never getting a platform back, and absolutely bitter, ivy’s father killed himself before being sent to prison.

Very Tragique™

ok. so. to distance themselves from the poor memories, but to save money, ivy and her mother moved to springhill, temporarily sharing ivy’s aunt’s apartment while her mother began collecting enough money to buy an apartment of their own and keep it.

during this time, ivy was seeing a lot of people and she didn’t know why! they asked questions about her mental health, but she didn’t know why! i mean, totally not traumatic, right?

yes. instead of managing communication well, she became very fascinated by the concept of death. she had many questions about it, she, a youth, had some extended conversations with clergymen about it –– she never killed any animals, god forbid, but she was absolutely fascinated when she ran across them.

SO CLEARLY THAT WAS ALSO TRYING TO BE DEALT WITH.

ok, i’m gonna skip ahead a little. now in teen years and still fascinated by death, but in a healthier way!, and no longer in therapy because... like... that costs a lot of money!

she dealt with it the best she could. became enamored with music... because why wouldn’t she? some covers here and there, some originals here and there, living that youtube lyf, but not expecting anything to come of it. just liked validation! mood!

she also dealt with it the worst she could! became enamored with drugs! naturally, it started out small. some weed, some lsd, some molly –– you know, just drugs that you don’t typically think of as addictive. although her grades suffered, it was harmless enough...

upon graduating high school, she figured... no college. instead, with barely any money to her name, she was like “i... will go to new york... and i will become famous.”

and she did! she did go to new york! she found a few sketchy places that didn’t charge much for a few nights as she began networking - both socially and “i would like to be known for music” (i literally just forgot the word for networking like..... employment wise.... y’all i’m so dumb). when she’d made some friends, she began crashing on couches that were not quite as sketchy!

but :\ she did meet these friends in sketchy places :\ and they were like “ok here r some new and more addictive drugs for u to try!”

what she wound up abusing using the most was desoxyn. it kept her awake, it kept her focused, it even shed a few pounds to create an excellent figure! what wasn’t to love!

i mean it’s literally a prescription methamphetamine,,, when abused,,, literally almost exact same effects as meth,,, but when meth mouth, skin lesions, acne, etc aren’t occurring as a side effect? who was she to care!

20, she released an actual ep with the help of a super cool friend who made everyone call him puppy mills! wow! things were excellent! it wasn’t necessarily seeing mainstream traction, but there was a decent enough following! enough to release an album at 22!

perfect timing, btw! desoxyn was starting to become too expensive for puppy to afford and trying to fake having such a severe form of adhd that desoxyn would be prescribed as opposed to something like ritalin or adderal when it’s literally illegal to prescribe in some countries now?? too hard :\ but the money from the album helped her and puppy!

*olaf vc* puppy died. *end vc*

she was there for it too. she thought it was just a freak-out, took a LITTLE too much, but not OVERDOSE worthy... then he l i t e r a l l y died. and it was a painful death!

“oh wow! maybe prescription meth isn’t super cool after all! shucks!” but that was also an opening?? to visit death herself?? like... she didn’t necessarily want to die (sort of), but she wanted... an answer to the question that had plagued her her entire life... so she was like “ok hope i die then someone revives me but if i die then :\ i guess i die!”

did not die. but also did not get a satisfying answer to her question. the only way it would’ve been truly satisfying? if she had been dead for longer than a minute - then it would’ve given a definite answer! because the answer she received was just nothingness which, while peaceful... is it true?

she tried to detox alone, what because rehab is a business, and it... only... sort of worked. she would be clean for a few weeks, then fall back in, then clean for a few weeks, then fall back in. whenever she wasn’t just naturally focused and awake, or whenever what she was focused on was the past, she would fall back in.

i mean, a side effect is memory loss, so win/win!

she made the semi-wise decision to move back to springhill. wisest would’ve been to just move to a town/city she had absolutely no memories in, but better than moving back to newark!

so... without much to show, and with an unreliable streak, she knew she wouldn’t be able to start looking for much of an occupation – but she still needed money! so she began working at don’t fret out of a love for music, then began working at the animal shelter after completing training.

the main training was, of course, for putting animals to sleep.

FULL CIRCLE.

ah yes. how she pretends it’s healthy... even tho there are studies and statistics relating suicide to veterinarians and shelter workers who euthanize animals... ah yes.

has been back for four months now. love that. do not know how to finish this.

TL ; DR:

born in newark. moved to springhill at 8. childhood trauma that she is still carrying causes fascination with death. “i love music.” moved to ny at 18 because realistic. childhood trauma also causes dependency on desoxyn. releases an ep and an album. does not become famous, but they both have decent traction. moves back after an overdose. relapses... often. now sells records and puts animals to sleep. miss american dream since she was 17, amirite?

PERSONALITY / MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

one person one week, a totally different person the next.

wants to please people, but also wants to be her own person? it’s a whole deal!

in spite of her slight icarian incident, she still hopes to maybe one day become a real musician and performer. until then, we selling records and saying ‘goodbye’ to sweet animals!

can truly flip like a switch in interactions! does love ruining things for herself! almost always feels bad after bc :\ damn :\ alright :\

i’m very bad at these sections i really hate that i always include them!

is still avoiding healthy coping mechanisms. love that for her.

favorite movie is, unironically, the bee movie. favorite horror movie is cats.

SO GOOD at memorizing random lines or trivia. could probably recite literally all of who’s afraid of virginia woolf? other than that?? her memory is so bad. hate drugs for that :\

she uses her hair to express herself! (that sounds really boring.) ...she uses her hair to express herself!

but no. seriously. wears the black shag weave the most, followed by the blue/yellow combo ( we stan the badlands aesthetic ). occasionally forays into other colors and styles when money permits, but it’s usually gonna be one of those two!!

was an envy on the coast stan in high school which makes an inappropriate amount of sense.

will go out and steal the dumbest shit when she’s drunk. has a history of stealing chickens.

once again: hate that i always include these!! feel free 2 j consult the personality parts in the quick facts!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

ok we gonna list some general ones for right now! all are open to multiple people unless there’s an asterisk by it!

close friends –– moonie, teagan,

ride or die

childhood friends –– moonie,

bad influence ( mutual or her on them ) –– veronica ( mutual ),

good influence ( them on her ) –– presley, hayden, gabrielle,

exes ( can be from high school or something like that if based in springhill, can be from 20s in new york if based in new york )

fwb –– trent,

will they, won’t they –– presley,

someone who knew her music ( can be neutral, a fan of it, or hate it afhkjsl ) –– presley, moonie, teagan, indiana,

will also possibly be sending in some wanted connections for things that are! more specific!

truly anything!! also up to brainstorm and/or look at yours if you have them!!

UPDATE: i have created a wc page so we luv that for me.

OK. like this or hmu if you’d like to plot!

#springhillintro #DONT WORRY THERE'S A TL;DR I. DIDNT KNOW WHEN TO STOP.#also!! am gonna leave the ooc post up for a few so i have reference for who liked it bc i must!!#depart for about an hour and a half and i do not want!! to forget!! y'all idk what im doing today.

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alphabees-writes · 5 years

Text

Glee - S1 E4 (Preggers)

And from this moment onwards, Kurt Hummel proceeded to steal every single damn scene he was in. I’m actually unironically excited for this one. I didn’t think that could still happen! Here goes!

I will always love this Single Ladies scene. I will always love season 1′s Tina/Kurt friendship. Also, Brittany’s here, inexplicably. Did he pay her for this? In Pixie sticks, perhaps? Or Monopoly money?

“Kurt’s Superstar Playlist” is the most adorable name his playlist could possibly have. All we get to see on it are 4 Beyonce songs, and 1 Gwen Stefani - but it’s a cute little insight.

God sometimes I forget how cute Jenna Ushkowitz is and then this scene really slaps me round the face with it huh!!!

WHY are you filming this, Kurt? What are you using this for? I’d love to know. I’d say it’s just to check out his own dancing technique but it’s in black and white… Where are you posting this!!!

I want that swingy-suspended chair thing he has in his room sooooo bad

Ok now the fact that this is being filmed is giving me fic ideas…

BURT HUMMEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BURT F U C K I N G HUMMEL BABIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God the look of fear on all three of their faces when they see Burt??? Don’t you worry kids he’ll come around real soon…

Burt’s approving nod when he yanks on Kurt’s unitard… God I love this man.

The LOOK on Kurt’s FACE when Brittany says he’s on the football team… I can hear his inner monologue like “bitch we may be in the basement but I will make a window to throw you out of”

Kurt just wants to relate to his old man so bad :( Baby boy he’s already so damn proud of you!!! Also that LAUGH.

He really just slapped Tina’s ass! And she completely rolls with it, the absolute champion. Also, the subtitles Netflix provided me with were (smacks bottom) and I just love that.

Oh god it immediately cuts to the WORST scene. Terri learning to give birth. William Schuester trying to help. Just let me perish, RIB?

Shout out to Kendra’s actress for somehow managing to make her character even more despicable than Terri!

Actually the shit she says to Will here is almost valid… All three of them are fucking awful huh!

Seriously why are Kendra and Terri the best actresses on this whole show? It’s the only reason I care about this fake pregnancy arc anymore…

The teacher’s lounge is always either an arid, desolate wasteland, or the only watering hole within 100 miles where all the thirsty ass teachers congregate. Take your pick.

Why does Will pretend to hesitate before going to sit with Ken and Emma? They’re the only people we ever see you talk to dude!!!

Ken with the psychoanalysis, wow. Just hit her right there buddy!

THAT’S HOW SUE C’s IT!!!

Rachel really just EXPECTS every solo… I almost forgot how bad she was when she started. “Maria is MY part!” Not anymore!! Kudos to Lea Michele for managing to make Rachel really sound like she thinks she’s the victim when she really isn’t.

Tina’s face… She was seriously happy. Season 1 Rachel SUCKS for even trying to take this from her. She IS talented. She IS ready!

Everybody else knows it’s a fat load of BS… Kurt lowers his sunglasses to look at her like she’s a bug beneath his shoe. Also, Kurt, why sunglasses? You don’t start getting hangovers ‘til next episode, sweetie!!

“You’re trying to punish me” I think being a total martyr might be one of Rachel’s worst traits early on in the series. I get that performing is her deal, but she can’t even take a second to at least fake being happy for Tina? Unreal.

Everybody else just moving straight on with it is hilarious. They’re all so happy for Tina and don’t give a shit about Rachel’s melodrama, which I’m living for!

I wanna be all “Finn’s an arrogant bastard for assuming Kurt wanted to ask him to prom, grr!!” But then I remember Kurt’s canonically in love with him at this point, so I’ll let him off this time

Kurt’s devious little smile when he asks Finn for a favour… I love one (1) boy!

AHHH THE TRYOUT SCENE. INCREDIBLE. This might honestly be my favourite scene from season 1. It’s definitely up there, anyway.

Cute brotherly Furt moments. Finn putting that helmet on for him. “Red’s your colour!” And they DON’T make Kurt get all giggly about Finn just being nice to him? Kurt just telling him he’s really cool? Pure.

“Rehearsing–” “PRACTICING!”

Finn tells Kurt he’ll be murdered if he uses his music and Kurt comes straight back with that rum chocolate souffle line. This show would be NOTHING without Kurt.

And THIS is what I mean when I say Kurt was a Gryffindor from the get-go. Even now he’s refusing to be anything less than himself for anybody, even the jackasses that harass him every day when he’s on their pitch.

Shut the fuuuuuuuck up, Puck!

“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.” What did we do to deserve him?

His starting pose… His hips… The footwork… “That was good, right?” His whole ATTITUDE. THE ROYAL WAVE.

As if the TV network would cancel Sue’s news segment for having a few Cheerios in the glee club?

Oh god. Quinn telling Finn she’s pregnant. The fucking cinematography here… The camera work, the audio mixing…

“Think of the mail… Think of the MAIL…”

Did Quinn seriously just say “Ask Jeeves” told her the hot tub could knock her up? I mean, I know she’s lying, but ASK JEEVES? That should’ve tipped Finn off more than anything else…

Damn. Season 1 really had the power to get me shook, laughing, and then crying in the span of 30 seconds? Or maybe it’s just because I can’t stand seeing Diana cry…

Sandy lets his kettle whistle for far too long, it stresses me out

Sue just… Offers this fired man a job? I know she’s got Figgins by the balls over the stockings commercial, but come on, surely the council would get involved or whatever???

Rachel sucks right now but god damn it Taking Chances gives me chills every time I hear her sing it… And she’s so cute when they tell her she got the lead!!!

If musical stuff is so frowned upon socially here, how are they expecting to get a full cast for Cabaret? Especially if NONE of the other glee kids are interested?

And there’s no funding for the arts but they have a whole ballet studio on school property…?

Sign #12 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He just straight up tells Rachel that he’s the only person that likes her, which is wrong for so many reasons

He does have a point about Rachel needing to take a step back sometimes though. I hate that she’s so awful sometimes that I have to agree with Schuester.

He’s not HURTING you Rachel, he’s giving a chance to grow to somebody else!

Jenna did a beautiful job with this solo… Tina’s so cute too! I love her singing this sweet song with her goth aesthetic

This scene between Mr Schue and Tina was almost sweet BUT:

Sign #13 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He did NOT need to touch Tina’s shoulders, or get that close, or whisper to comfort her.

Don’t take one for the team, Tina! Take one for YOURSELF!

I’ll let him hugging Finn slide because, wow, Finn’s breaking my heart right now…

However I will not let it slide that he’s seemingly taken him off campus for lunch…???? Dude, take him to your office. This is creepy as all hell even if he has good intentions…

“I got this at the school library. Did you know that you can just… Borrow books from there?” Protect him. Protect him at ALL costs. He was so genuinely inspired by watching Kurt make those goals that he went to a library for the first time in his LIFE oh my goodness

Oh god. The camera panning from a random father and his young son, over to Mr Schue looking at Finn? HE’S NOT YOUR SON MY GUY, HE IS YOUR PUPIL. PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES!!!

Terri and Will are both brushing their teeth with no toothpaste… Freaks…

Have I mentioned how much I adore those little background choir soundbites between scenes? They did so much for this show…

SHUT! UP! PUCK! Drink your fucking character development juice already!!!

Kurt just casually dropping in Sun Tzu’s Art of War… He just knows that. He’s prepared to just drop that in conversation. Son, why are you so ready for combat,

Also the way Kurt commands their attention? They can rag on him all they want but they all know he’s legit…

Look at all these doofuses in their football gear busting a move. Look at Kurt sat at the front just watching, judging, as he was born to do

MIKE! KILLING! IT! I love that they let us see a sneak peek of his moves… Serious HC that Kurt making the football team dance is the first time that Mike really got to show off his skills

Kurt shooing Mr Schue away like that gives me life!!! Sit down old man

“All right boys…” And they all look so concerned behind him lmao… “Oh– SNEAK ATTACK back to the ring…” Mike’s trying so hard to keep in time. I love him. OH and there’s Matt! Most valid glee club member simply because he never says anything.

“Comb through the hair… SLAP THE BUTT!” And they’re all trying so hard… 10/10

“I’m your best friend,” says Puck, to the boy he has been consistently fucking over for four (4) episodes, and presumably many years prior…

I really do hate Puck for the first part of this season but god damn does he have some lines. “’Sup, MILF?” “Well, CALL the Vatican! We got ourselves another ImMaCuLaTe CoNcEpTiOn!”

I remember the first time I heard the term “Lima Loser” but I didn’t know the show was set in a place called Lima (I would’ve been, like, 9) and I thought it was lime-a-loser. Like he was going to have limes thrown at him. And it was this big, serious threat…

How the FUCK did Terri get into Quinn’s car? Why is that never addressed? Like, ever? Quinn doesn’t even ASK?

Do this many people turn up to American high school sports events irl??? And do they really play the national anthem? That must get old

Why are all these football players 30… I’m so thirsty for realistic casting…

BURT’S HERE TO SEE HIS SON!!! We love a proud dad.

“I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!!!” And now he’s doing high kicks. Kurt’s doing the absolute MOST.

I will never understand the rules of American football… And I mean NEVER.

“Ring on it on three” I love that it has a code name. And they were all too busy being dudebros to call it Single Ladies…

The one dude on the opposite team who starts boogying along is the real MVP

NEVERMIND. BURT BOPPING IN THE STANDS IS THE MVP!!!

“Can I pee first?” Legendary

Burt just going “he’s so little…” In the middle of the silent crowd…

MY BOY NEEDS HIS MUSIC!

BURT’S SO FUCKING PROUD I’M ACTUALLY CRYING??? YOU CAN HEAR HIM SHOUTING “THAT IS MY BOY!!! THAT IS MY SON!!!” THROUGH THE WHOLE CROWD!!!!

I feel like Puck seeing Finn and Quinn kiss and then the crowd going silent as he walks away is meant to make me feel… Bad for him…? But we’ve only ever seen him be mean to Quinn, really. You’ve got to earn those moments!

Ah… The skincare routine. He’s thriving.

Burt! Hummel! Is! Proud! Of! His! Son!

Burt… I’m pretty sure he assumed you wished his mother was alive. As opposed to her corpse being at the big game.

Oh boy here it comes…… Chris looks SO young here. So scared. So vulnerable. The way he slightly stutters… He nailed this scene. So much.

He’s gay!

He knows.

Do they make sensible heels in sizes for three year olds…? Asking for a dad

The raw EMOTION on Kurt’s face. It’s killing me.

This is the starting point… “I’m not in love with the idea, but I love you.” And it only gets better from there…

And he THANKS his SON. He’s sure. He’s so sure, Burt, and you are going to be so proud of him forever.

Finn gives Quinn that blanket his dad gave him when he was a baby… Did she give it back? I fucking hope so…

You tell him, Finn! Puck IS an asshole!

MIKE’S IN GLEE!!! SO IS MATT!!! And Puck’s here I guess, yay… He’s got a season or so of sucking to go before I can get excited about that.

“Regionals” here we come? My guy, let’s get through sectionals first…

Rachel’s big, cruel smile when she thinks she’s going to be handed Tina’s solo. Why would she presume that it’d just get handed to her??? I mean, I know why, but like, why… And she has the audacity to look like she’s been betrayed. Not even slightly, hon! You deserve nothing if not getting one solo is all it takes for you to quit!

This Sue’s corner genuinely gets me through some shit. “There’s not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you - they’re both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they’re cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will.” Hits me hard!

This one was longer. Primarily because of Burt, I will admit, but it can’t be helped. Perhaps it’s the best episode of season 1 because of Burt! Now that’s a break through…

#Glee #Glee Season 1 #Rosie watches things and then says things about the thing

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thatsnicebutimmarried · 5 years

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So I watched Descendants 3 and I have Hot Takes TM

Yes I know, I am a good decade and a half older than the target audience of these movies, and no, they are not cinematic masterpieces but they also aren’t trying to be, and it’s 2019 and cringe culture is dead and we’re allowed to unironically like bad things now so just hush, okay? They’re not bad, they’re not fantastic, they’re fine, and there is entertainment value and I find them at least mildly entertaining but they leave me with Thoughts.

First off, again, they aren’t bad, but they also are not exactly something everyone needs to run out and watch. They’re all three Disney Channel Original Movies and that’s all they are really trying to be. They aren’t perfect and if you think too hard about them then they fall apart or get real weird so just don’t do that. It’s meant to be a fun colorful disney movie aimed primarily at kids and teens. They don’t have to be Oscar-worthy, they can be just fine. And they are. All three. This one is possibly my favorite of the three, actually.

So hot take #1: yeah, the music is pretty good, but for the love of God, I wish they didn’t produce the music so much like a pop song that it sounds super out of place in what is supposed to be a movie musical. They’ve done this in all three movies and it annoys me in all of them. The music is great, but auto-tuned and electroniced and synthesized to the point that it really strains suspension of disbelief that they might actually be singing in the scenes instead of very obviously lipsyncing to something recorded in a studio and mixed and edited and slapped over the scene they’ve filmed. And given that suspension of disbelief is already pretty flexible in musicals, and I am someone who has always loved musicals and has worked in musical theatre, it is really saying something that this has managed to throw off the suspension of disbelief. I’m painfully aware of the lipsyncing, not because they are bad at it, because they aren’t, but because the vocals are so over-produced that it feels out of sync with the scene. And that sucks, given that so much of the music itself is fantastic. I think “My Once Upon A Time’ is the only song that didn’t make me feel like I’m watching someone lipsync to something that was recorded in a studio. Obviously that’s what you are watching in literally ANY movie musical, but a good one will trick you into thinking they are actually singing what you’re hearing. Even in some of the numbers where that should be easier to do, like in “Do What You Gotta Do”, where even the dialogue sounds prerecorded. It’s especially painful in what are otherwise knock-out numbers. Because ‘Queen of Mean’ is a fucking BANGER. LIKE YES QWEEN YOU TAKE THAT STAFF YOU TAKE YOUR REVENGE YOU GET YOURSELF SOME GOOD HAIR. Also “One Kiss”. Should be great, except that it’s clear that Sophia is lipsyncing.

Hot Take #2: Could Audrey not have kept her ‘evil’ hair? Because those pink to blue curls are SO MUCH BETTER than blonde with washed-out pink and blue streaks. Someone get Dizzy on this girl’s hair STAT.

Hot Take #3: I have worked in costume design. I have a degree in fashion design. These movies both delight me and test my patience when it comes to the costume design. Everything is either hit or miss, or good in concept but not so great in execution. We continue to see just...too much leather. I mean, it’s okay I guess with the biker outfits, but with everything else, just chill a bit. ALSO, if you’re gonna have Mal rock a truer purple hair with cooler tones, then please stop putting her in warmer magenta and violet outfits. It just looks weird. Also wtf is her outfit in the opening? Way too much leather, and waaaaay too much green splatter. Like find a balance between her colors, please.

Hot Take #4: Not really a hot take, but Cameron Boyce was probably the most talented out of all of them and I’m really fucking sad to hear about his death. He was a talented kid and too young and honestly probably the best thing about these movies, not gonna lie. I’m so heartbroken for his family and friends. Carlos continues to be a freakin cinnamon roll and he made a necklace for Jane with their goddamn ship name on it and that is the cutest fucking thing.

Hot Take #5: God I forgot the dog fucking talks. Why does the dog fuckin talk

Hot Take #6: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: where is Evie’s frickin army of dwarf slave labor or little mice and birds and deer who help her do all this sewing? I sew for a goddamn living. You expect me to believe that one girl with a home sewing machine (what is that, a fucking Singer? Girl should at least have a Viking, a Bernina, or a Juki), no serger, no industrial straight stitch machine (how the fuck is she sewing all that leather without an industrial???) , is somehow responsible for her entire wardrobe, Mal’s entire wardrobe (at least for her numerous public appearances), special things for her guy friends, as well as the formalwear for the entire female population of Auradon Prep. And somehow still has time to like, go to school/have a social life/advocate for the kids of villains? Hell no. It takes me and my business partner working 60+ hour weeks just to get through all the alterations during prom season, but this one self-taught girl with a home machine makes all these clothes all by herself? Sure. There is some magic involved here. Why does this upset me?

Well when people come to your work and expect miracles because they see girls on tv making 30 formal dresses all by themselves and expect you to be able to completely overhaul their prom dress in two hours, then we’ll talk about whether or not I’m allowed to be bitter.

Hot Take #7: Look, you can have Harry flirt with girls all you want, but he is still exuding Big Queer Energy and there is no convincing me he is not at least bi. There is nothing straight about that boy, okay. This is the hill I will fucking die on.

#8: Gil and Jay are also exuding some super queer energy. Like they go on that world sightseeing trip as friends and come back as boyfriends. I don’t make the rules, I just call the queerness when I see it. Gil is giving me major Soft Gay vibes.

#9 “put your Vs up in the air” *deep breath* Did...did no one vet this? Did anyone, like, point out that, V can be short for...never mind. Okay.

#ignore me #look at me having thoughts about a teen tv movie

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