#forgot shadows left and right but you know its done im done lol

[acetechne]

World Watercolour Month: 20. Olive

i thought I'd challenge myself and try to draw an ancient olive press and I got frustrated, haha. Here is the horrible man himself who has also just collapsed in defeat having dropped his sun hat and lost all his helpers?

[dovewingz]

!!!! oml that snippet abt your ocs? i loved it. ksjdfkdsjf,,, if your willing, can you tell me more? ramble about them, im curious!!

oh my gosh hi thank you sm . i’ve had these ocs since i was like 11 or something?? i started a story called “shadowpath’s insanity” (renamed later to shadowpath’s fate bc the use of ‘insanity’ was bad/wrong!). i started writing a fanfic and worked on it for a looong time before deciding i really didn’t like the story, so i thought i’d started from scratch ! then i was like “actually i dont have the motivation to write and plan a whole book so i’ll just! talk about them on a sideblog!” @wc-shattered-peace is that sideblog, but its been inactive for months because i once again lost motivation to work on the story. about a week ago i started thinking about the ocs a bit again.

cw: parental abuse (poorly done... it needs so much work)

anyways yes OC TIME !!! shadowpath is..... questionable. if i ever wanna remake the story he needs some WORK. he was born with a physical disfiguration on his face. he was rejected by his mother bc of it but then i was like “no thats gross” SO i changed it....

his birth mom is called spottedwing, and She was close w somebody called speckledust (who knew the rest of spottedwings family). theres a whole backstory but essentially speckledust is an awful awful person who resented spottedwing because of some stuff with spottedwings dad. anywayz spottedwing grew up believing if she was “perfect” she’d be able to gain her loved ones’ approval but it never happened.

there is SO MUCH more history omg but basically in spottedwings adulthood, she witnesses speckledust literally murder someone and confronts her. they yell at each other and then speckledust attacks her, but spottedwing defeats and kills her. it leaves her pretty scarred. SO when she eventually has children of her own, she senses a “dark presence” around shadowkit. believing this to be speckle coming back to haunt her, she rejects him. its uhh very messy and 1000% needs work if i ever wanna go back to it but thats the basic story.

shadowkit is raised by patchflower who is a perfect angel. she is literally the best cat ever to exist, i love her so much. shes so loving and supportive and just wants the best for shadow.

more character stuff because this is getting messy:

- rosepaw, who is shadowpaths biological sister. she was told by spottedwing to never talk to shadowpaw but she was like “hm. no. i think hes okay.” she ends up dying for him after he impulsively goes out to attack a badger, by himself, to prove to the clan/spotted hes not weak. (thinking of changing this tho bc rosepaw deserves better)

- i mentioned this in the beech/doe post but shadow has abandonment issues. he blames himself for A LOT of things. he literally does not know how to deal with his trauma so he lashes out constantly and is always angry. he is an asshole and not a good person, but his reasons arent bad. he does some bad bad things but he ultimately starts a recovery journey and becomes a better person.

- speckledust makes a comeback and trains shadow in the dark forest. if it sounds like mapleshade and crookedstar ur right lol i have to assume the og story is inspired by that. shes basically like “hey kill spottedwing lol” and he agrees. speckledust doesnt actually care abt him at all though, shes super abusive and is the main reason for shadows actions . it takes a long time for him to heal from it

- beechleaf (? i think thats his name i forget) is his childhood best friend. shadow was kinda always in love with him. i already talked abt them but eventually, beech leaves burnclan for rockclan, where his mate skyheart lives. shadow breaks after this and starts to push everyone away. it also enhances his abandonment issues. again, he blames himself for it but REFUSES to admit it so he just lashes out

- doesplash is also a childhood friend who had a crush on him early-on. the feelings never fade. her and shadow’s relationship isnt that healthy tbh hes pretty mean to her and shes a pushover. he does rlly care abt her and appreciate her but he doesnt show it and theres no excuse (even if theres explanation). she eventually stands up for himself and breaks off the friendship, which is when shadow realises that he has almost nobody in his life. other than speckledust... and >

- oakpaw! a few moons younger than shadow and quite a bit like beech. shadow projects a bunch of feelings (other than romantic bc he meets oak when oak is a kitten) onto him. another unhealthy relationship... oak is a cheerful sweetheart but pretty bland rn. he has two siblings

- honeyfrost and lionsplash who i can talk abt if ur still interested lol. lionsplash is his father-figure and mentor. honeyfrost is basically his counsellor.

- oh i forgot to mention him but nightbird is shadows biological dad. he literally never talks to shadow. his relationship with spottedwing is toxic and she pressures him into everything. thats no excuse of course, but it is an explanation. he eventually stands up for shadow and breaks away from spotted

- oh my god i forgot ANOTHER CHARACTER... bluepetal. shes an angel as well. shes the medicine cat. shes spottedwings childhood best friend who is in love with her. but she pulls away from the friendship after spottedwing rejected shadow. shes very very sad and hates that she still has feelings for spotted. she tries to support shadow but shadow is kinda mean to her. i love her a lot

again the story needs A LOT of work. im really unhappy with how little me handled the abuse in the story so ! i will be working on that if i ever return to it. i honestly have so much left to say abt the plot HAHA so lmk if you wanna know more

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

[gyeomork]

Explanation

(im jaebeom x reader)

genre: angst, light smut, fluff, roommate au

warnings: mild cursing, suggestive themes

word count: 3.5k

a/n: so idk if it’s been a long time since i last posted but hey i’m back lol. my last fic got like a lot of love so i was like oh shit wtf thAnk yU. so basically i got kinda in my jaebeom feels because of these pictures i saw and they just kinda hit different so i made a fic lol. anywAy k bye ^3^

“please please please~” jackson begged me. we were currently sitting on the couch in the living room having a conversation about me moving out so his girlfriend could move in. “you guys could just stay in your room and i’ll stay in mine. i’ll try to make my presence as unknown as possible” he looks at me bewildered. “y/n no!” i let out a deep sigh. “alright so let’s say i do move out, where would i go? hm?” “i already have that planned out “ he points at me and smirks “one of my best friends, jaebeom, i told about him right?” i nod. “he’s been living by himself for a while and having kind of a hard time paying for the place so i was hoping you could move in with him” i think about it for a few seconds. “is it cheaper?” he nods assuringly. “ok” i say and he jumps up in excitement. “but you have to do most of the heavy lifting” “ok!”

jackson sets down the last box in my new room. i lay down on the mattress already getting tired from the thought of packing out. “there you go. jaebeom should get home from work at 7 so you have some time to be loud with your music and bad singing”. “hey!” i attempt to kick him but he pushes my foot away. “that’s one thing i wont miss” he continues and i pout. “but overall i’m gonna miss you” he pats me on the head and i smile. “me too”. “listen, i gotta get going but have fun packing out ok! bye~” before i could say bye in return he slams my door shut. he’s not gonna miss me. i put on my music and start opening up the first box.

i finally finish packing out and take a shower to cool my body down. i put on some shorts and a tank top. i check the time and it was 6:43 pm; jaebeom should be getting home soon. I think to make a ‘thank you for letting me live here’ dinner-gift. i walk out my room and was surprised when the front door opened and two shadows walked in. god my first day here and we’re already getting robbed. the tall, wide shouldered shadow turns on the light and reveals a recognizable face from the some of the pictures jackson posted on instagram. he sees me and freezes in shock. the smaller shadow reveals a very pretty woman’s face that automatically turns defensive. “who is she and what is she doing here?” she inquires. i intervene hoping to clear the air “i’m y/n, jaebeom’s new roommate.” i hold out my hand for her to shake. she looks at me and scoffs, then to jaebeom “i can’t believe you” she walks out the door slamming it behind her. jaebeom goes after her and i’m left standing there awkwardly. i go back to my room to avoid more awkwardness when they come back. i can always make that thank you dinner another time. a few minutes later i hear a soft knock on my door. “y/n? it’s jaebeom” i get up and open the door. “i’m sorry i didn’t know-” “no, no it’s fine it’s my fault actually i forgot you were coming today and i forgot to tell her. i’m sorry she was so rude to you, she can be.. defensive at times” he looks kind of stressed. “it’s ok, i won’t take it personally”. “i’m jaebeom” he holds his hand out “we didn’t get to properly introduce ourselves earlier” i shake his hand “y/n” we both give small smiles. we hold hands and eye contact for a little too long. he scans my body and i become self conscious remembering that i don’t have a bra on. i let go and cross my arms over my chest. “i’ve had a long day, so i’ll be going to bed now. good night.” i closed the door as quick as i could without being rude. i scold myself for not wearing the proper clothes. i was so used to living and being so comfortable with jackson that i completely forgot that this is not how you dress around a stranger. especially a man. an attractive man. with a girlfriend. i brush my teeth and go to bed to avoid overthinking.

i wake up early the next morning to make a thank you breakfast instead in hopes of getting on jaebeom’s girlfriend’s good side. jaebeom walks into the kitchen while i’m in the middle of cracking an egg. “good morning” he says in a husky voice. “good morning” i reply back. “you didn’t have to make breakfast, i’m the one that usually makes it” “oh no i wanted to make a thank you dinner last night but..” “my girlfriend” he finishes my sentence for me. “where is she by the way? i want to apologize” he frowns and sighs deeply “she got mad yesterday and left. and i told you it’s not your fault, you don’t have to apologize” he puts his hand on my shoulder and stares dead into my eyes. all of a sudden, i get hot. like extremely. like so hot i begin sweating. like so hot that i hear beeping… beeping? i turn around and realize that the pancakes i had on the stove caught on fire. i immediately start panicking and trying to blow it out and it only gets bigger. jaebeom comes with a fire extinguisher and pulls me away from the fire by the waist. he puts out the fire swiftly and sinks to the floor. i sit across from him and try to regulate my breathing. he squeezes the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.  god my second day here and i almost burn the house down. what tomorrow? i blow up the whole neighborhood? i get ready for the ‘you almost made my girlfriend break up with me and burn my house down get the fuck out’. but instead he just starts laughing and i do too. “what the hell were you cooking that it caught on fire like that?” “pancakes” he widens his eyes at me. “oh i am definitely cooking from now on” “no i promise i can cook just let me show you” i get up and reach for the pan. he gets up too and stops my hand from even getting remotely close to the pan. “i think we should settle for some cereal” “ok” i sigh. he pours us both a bowl and says “i don’t work today so if you’d like to do something and get to know each other, i’m free all day”. “yeah sure what did you have in mind?” “i was thinking about noraebang (karaoke). i think it’ll be really good to destress after..” he looks to the stove. “stop!~” he bursts out laughing. “so is that a yes or no?” “yes, i’ll go” “what time do you want to go?” i look at the time that reads 9:28 am “maybe around 2-ish”. “ok, 2-ish it is” he gives me a cute smile.

we enter the small room of stress relief and put our stuff down. “you want to go first?” jaebeom asks. “why should i go first?” “you must have the more stress than me, after all you did almost burn our house down” my heart kind of fluttered at ‘our house’ but it was overpowered by the annoyance i felt. i suck my teeth and grab the microphone and remote. i choose a song to terribly sing to and begin. i get a 64 as a score and when i turn around jaebeom is staring at me in disbelief. “yeah, yeah i’m bad at signing ok next your turn” “i wouldn’t say ‘bad’ i’d just say a little.. flat that’s all” “yeah ok here” i roll my eyes at him and shove the microphone in his chest; he snickers. he chooses a ballad and starts singing. and holy shit he can sing. this man sing sing like damn. when he’s done he gets a score of 98. “so this is why to took me here huh. to show off” i accuse him. “no, not at all” he waves me off and laughs. “here it’s your turn” he holds out the mic to me. “no let's do one together” i grab the other mic. we choose a trot and have fun just jumping around and being fools. there was a time when i was laughing my ass off and jaebeom was standing there staring at me, smiling. i guess he was amused by my ugly laugh but either way it made me blush. after dozens of songs later, jaebeom was doing his last one. he chose a slow love song and the way he was singing it could make anyone fall in love with him. he sung with his eyes closed; he knew it like the back of his hand. he turned to face me and opened his eyes to bore holes into mine. the normal me would avert to look at anything other than his eyes but there was something different about this time. i felt like if i did, my heart would stop or my lungs would burst or something would happen where i couldn’t live anymore. i felt like everything i needed to live was in the eye contact we were currently holding. he continues to sing to me with loving eyes and cups my cheek with his soft hands. my face would be hot if it weren’t for his rings cooling me down. the song ends and he drops the hand holding the mic to his lips to his side. he tilts his head to the side and leans in. his lips meet mine and i freeze. his kiss was soft and delicate like he didn’t want to hurt me, like he was scared i would reject him. i close my eyes and kiss him back. that fear was soon replaced by lust and desire. he bends down to put the mic on the table without breaking the kiss. the now unoccupied hand finds its way to my hip, pulling me closer. my hands move to the back of his neck and get lost in his hair. they move to his chest as i snap out of it and push him away. “you have a girlfriend” i say in disgust. “how could you even think about doing this to her?” i furrow my eyebrows “to me?” i reach for the door handle and jaebeom grabs my wrist. “y/n” i shake him off aggressively and walk out of the noraebang and all the way home.

when i get home jaebeom is waiting for me in the couch with his head in his hands. i try to walk past him quickly to my room but as soon as he sees me and jumps up almost immediately to block my way. “y/n please let me explain” “what is there to explain?” i maneuver my way around him. “a lot” he follows me on my way to my room. “no i think i understood the situation very clearly” i try to slam my door but he stops it with his hand. “no you didn’t and you still don’t” “ahh really? what part about you kissing me while having a girlfriend could i not possibly understand?” i succeed in slamming the door this time and lock the door. “all of it!” he yells through the door. i take a deep breath and rub my temples. i take a hot shower to calm my nerves and stay in my room for the rest of the day until it was time to go to bed.

the next day i pack a bag early in the morning and go to jackson’s place. i just couldn’t stay in that house, i needed a break. i think i’ve been more stressed in the last two day than i’ve ever been in my life. i ring on the doorbell and thankfully jackson answers the door. “y/n what the hell are you doing here so early?” “so i don’t have to see jaebeom” “what? why? don’t tell me you guys fought already” “i tell you everything” i walk inside and to the living room.

i finish my story without getting my blood completely boiling. “well, i think you should let him explain” jackson says as if it were that simple. “no! why should i?” “you know how hard it can be to control feelings especially if they’re strong and i know jaebeom, i know he wouldn’t be so irrational”. i know i should trust what jackson says because despite his stupidity at times, he actually gives good advice but i can’t help but get upset thinking about what jaebeom did. i just wish he would have vocalized himself first before making such an impulsive decision. “plus i know things that you don’t” he says persuasively. “ok but give me a few days to cool down” “as much time as you need as long as you listen to him” he pats me on the shoulder. “great so can i stay here?” it wouldn’t be too bad because jackson’s girlfriend knows me and would be understanding. “you- wah~ unbelievable! yes but only for two days ok” “i thought you said i could take as much time as i needed” “you can but not in my house” he gets up to go to his room. “some friend huh” “the best” he shouts down the hallway.

it’s been about four days and i get a text message from a random number.

“y/n hey it’s jaebeom when you see this please respond. i am so sorry for what i have done but if you could just let me talk to you everything will be better, i promise”

i could not believe this man had the audacity to text me. did it look like i wanted to talk to you?

i respond anyway.

“promises are made to be broken”

i turn off my phone in anger. how did he even get my number in the first place? i close my eyes and take a deep breath “jackson!” i yell. he peeps into the room like a kid who got caught stealing a piece of candy. “did you give my number to jaebeom?” “yes but-” “no buts, you’re supposed to be my friend and help me why would you do that?” i say starting to get fed up. “because! you need to get out my house y/n! it’s almost been a week. how am i supposed to get some quality alone time with my girl if you’re here moping around?” i stay silent. now i see why he needed me to move out. he sighs “listen, jaebeom is at work right now so we could go over there-” i cut him off “no. nope, not possible” “y/n listen to me please” he says in a serious tone.  “fine” “ok so we can go and when he comes home i can help let both sides of the story be told and let you guys come to an understanding and everything can be sunshine, happy, and rainbows again” i laugh at the last part. “so do we have a deal?” i sigh deeply in defeat “deal”.

when we get to my shared home, i go to my room to put my bag away and jackson follows with a chair. “why are you bringing that?” “we need to all be facing each other you know. i read somewhere that it helps the brain process information in a more understanding way” i don’t think he did but i’d rather not question jackson at his weird times. i open my room door and walk in to see jaebeom sitting on my bed. i turn back to leave and the door is closed. i try the handle and it doesn’t budge. jackson yells from the other side of the door “you’re not coming out until you guys are all made up” i roll my eyes so far back they nearly get stuck. “y/n” a soft voice comes from behind me. “yes” i answer back with poison in my tone. “please” his voice plead and i found it hard to say no. i turn back and sit next to him on the bed, making sure to keep my distance. “go ahead” “thank you. firstly, i want to say i’m sorry for not speaking my mind before i made such a choice and not trusting you enough to tell you the situation and making you feel used. so that woman that you saw me with that first night was once my girlfriend that i actually considered to be my girlfriend but that was ages ago in college. i got this place when i was in a good enough position to and everything was good for a while but then bills got overwhelming and i needed some help and she was there for me. but then she got extremely controlling and i wanted to break up with her for the longest time but every time i’d try to she’d threaten me by saying that i’d lose this place and that my parents wouldn’t take me back because they told me not to do this and i just felt so trapped” i rub his shoulder in an attempt to console him. “so when jackson said that you could move in i was so relieved like the weight of the world was lifted off of me. that night when she stormed out and i followed her, i broke things off and that had to have been the best night of my life. i didn’t want to tell you we broke up at first because i knew that no matter how many times i’d say it’s not your fault, you’d still blame yourself. and i was embarrassed to tell the truth, i was afraid you’d think i was pathetic. but i feel even more pathetic now that you’re mad at me and you have a right to because it’s all my fault”. i started to feel guilty “jaebeom no it’s not, i should’ve let you explain yourself. i was a insensitive bitch and i should’ve listened to you instead of leaving without notice” “no don’t say that” he cups my cheek just like he did in the noraebang minus the rings so this time, my face was heating up completely. “why shouldn’t i?” i ask, my voice barely above a whisper. “because i hate seeing you beat yourself up and every time you do i want to kiss you until the sun comes up” his face was so close that his breath was brushing lightly on my face. “so why don’t you?” “can i?” “god jaebeom yes”. he crashes his lips into mine with longing and fervour; i return the same emotions. i feel his hands all over me and he lays me down without breaking the kiss. “let me make everything up to you” he kisses a trail down my jaw to my chest. he hastily pulls my shorts down and spreads apart my legs. he kisses the insides of my thighs lovingly and pulls down my underwear.

he collapses next to me and we both catch our breaths. he pulls me on top of him and holds me in his arms. he caresses my cheek “you’re so beautiful” he kisses me on my forehead and i smile. we stay there for a while, enjoying each other’s presences until my stomach rumbles and i curse at myself. “hungry?” he chuckles. i cover my face with my hands and smile shyly. he pulls my hands away from my face and kisses them. “come on, i’ll make you something and i won’t let it catch on fire” i frown at him and he laughs. he puts on his boxer briefs and leaves the room. i soon follow him to his room to steal some clothes from him. i search through his drawer and grab a black long sleeve to put on. jaebeom comes behind me and grabs me by the waist to move me out of the way so he can search through the drawer as well. “is jackson still here?” “no he left a long time ago” i hum in understanding. “wait, how do you know? and come to think of it how did you get out the room?” he freezes in front of me like a deer caught in headlights and runs out the room. i catch up to and jump on his back. he falls to the ground “tell me!” i start pinching him. “ok ok i asked him to plan it” “you ask him to plan for us to have sex?!” “no! i asked him to bring you here so i can apologize and leave after 30 minutes so then i could confess but i guess things took another route”. “ugh i hate you guys” i ease off of him but he turns on his back and pulls me back down on him. “you couldn’t possibly hate me babe”

[benhardyisdaddy]

In The Shadows - Part 4

MASTERLIST 

(okay so i feel like this is rlly long so im sorry lol my fics r like either super long or short no in between IM SORRY i hope u like it tho sksksks ily BYEEE oh also this pic gives me hot mysterious bf vibes so im using it)

Word Count: 2,750

You scarf down your warm meal within a minute. You stare at the now bare platter in front of you and smile. This is the fifteenth warm meal you’ve had in the last five days. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, breakfast lunch and dinner. Ben never misses a meal for you. You’re slowly getting healthier. The second day you were here was very challenging for you. You had broken out with a severely high fever. You couldn't control your shaking and could barely keep anything down. You had passed out three times in that day. What caused the fever? You two were still uncertain. You were so dehydrated and weak, it could've been triggered from anything. But you’re better now. Your skin is gradually getting its color back, the bags underneath your eyes are slightly less dark and now you can officially stand up without feeling like you’re going to tumble over. And that was a great feeling.

You continue to stare at your plate while lost deep in thought, when Ben knocks on your door.

"Come in!" you call out.

The door gently opens up and he peeks in. He grins and strolls over to retrieve your empty plates.

"Good?" he asks.

"Delicious." you reply back.

He smiles and walks to the window and pulls open the curtains. You gather your hair into a ponytail and hold it with a rubber band. Your hands feel your scalp and it's, of course, oily. You quickly become self conscious around Ben and look away. You don't want him to notice how scummy you must look. When you have no water to take showers with, it's kind of hard to maintain your hygiene. Ben looks over to you and you look down at your hands and your dirty nails. You try to quickly clean them.

"Hey," he says, trying to get your attention.

"Yeah?" you ask, still looking down.

"Follow me."

You look up fast, shocked. Ben walks to the door and stands there looking at you. You furrow your brows and shake your head not understanding.

"I want to show you something." he says, noticing your confused expression.

"You mean I can actually leave the room?" you ask, dramatically.

Ben fake laughs. You smile and slowly attempt to stand from the bed. Within seconds he's next to you and holding your arm. You gasp at his touch and freeze. He notices how tense you become and quickly lets go.

"I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I was just gonna help."

"It's fine." you say back fast. "I'm fine."

You look up and half smile. Has this man housed you and fed you and kept you alive? Yes. Is the man still a vampire? Yes. Do you trust him?

No.

He takes a step back and walks to the door. You grab a hold of the medal cart that holds your IV and steady yourself. You walk towards the door and wheel it next to yourself. This is the first time you’re leaving the room since you’ve been here. You walk into the hallway and look around. A door at the end of the hall is closed. Another door beside it is closed as well. Ben starts walking to the left of your room as you pass a set of stairs that leads downstairs. You pass them and walk to another closed door. Ben opens it up and it reveals a bathroom. You stare into it confused.

"Ta da!" he sings out.

You look to him and back to the bathroom.

"Wow, um, it's big!" you say, attempting fake excitement. "But I already have a tinier version of this in my room."

He laughs and walks even further into the giant bathroom. You walk in behind him and look around. White. Everything is white. A white bathtub, a white shower, white toilet, the floors and walls are white, the counters and sink are even white. You walk in even further and notice a large cardboard box sitting on the counter. You look at it and then to Ben.

"Okay, well, while I was out, I decided to go into a store and look around. I figured, you've had a hard week, and you're a girl, and you might, maybe, like these?" he says, dragging his sentence out.

You walk to the box and slowly open it. Inside is a variety of different things. Mascara, eye liner, foundation, blush, powder, eye shadow, a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, a razor, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and last but not least, tampons. You pick up the pink box and look over to him. He's blushing and shrugs.

"I had no idea what to get. I just figured you might need-"

You put up a hand to stop him.

"It's fine. Thank you. Honestly. I don't know the last time I've seen or even worn makeup. I use to all of the time before all of...this. So, seriously. Thank you."

He smiles widely and nods. Then his head perks up a little more as he holds up a finger.

"I almost forgot. Here," he says, walking to the shower.

He opens up the door and turns the handle to the right. Water pours down from the shower head and you stand there in amazement. You’re use to toilets working, but never showers. Steam fills the room as the water continues to rush down. Ben looks to you and smiles.

"Oh, here," he says.

He slowly reaches out for your arm and you jerk away, not thinking. He looks at you and lifts his brows. You smile apologetically and allow him to touch you. He peels away the tape of the IV and slowly pulls it out. You hiss at the slight sting, but it's over quickly. He grabs the IV cart and smiles.

"I'll leave you two alone." he says teasingly.

You laugh at him and smile. He exits the room and closes the door behind him. You walk to it and out of habit, lock it. You turn back to the shower and quickly undress. You lay your clothes on the counter and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You stare as you cock your head to the side at your reflection. You’re dirty and bruised. You close your eyes and take in a deep breath. You step into the shower and feel the warm water pour over your sore back. Your muscles ache as you lean your head back and allow the water to pour over your face. You grab the body wash and lather it all over your skin. All of the mud and dirt and blood that you have collected on yourself all washes away. The bottom of the shower turns into a brown mess as it all rinses down the drain. You finally wash and condition your hair. The oiliness is officially gone! You grab the razor and shave the tiny forest on your legs and under arms. Relief. You then stand under the water for several more minutes enjoying every last drop, then you finally turn it off.

You slowly open the shower door and step out. You grab a white towel hanging a hook and dry yourself off. You wrap it around your body and walk to the foggy mirror. You wipe some steam away and stare. You’re clean! You can't help but smile. You look to the counter and grab the deodorant. Something you’ve missed so terribly! After that, you brush your teeth. The strong minty flavor over takes your taste buds. You brush and brush and brush until you feel like they're clean. You spit and wipe your mouth. You look back up and smile in the mirror to view your teeth. As you’re examining your now pearly whites, there's a light knock at the door. You pause and listen.

"It's me," calls out Ben. "I have clean clothes for you. I'll just sit them here by the door."

Before he's done talking, you walk to the door and crack it open. He looks you up and down and then to your face. You suddenly remember all you have on is a towel. You fold your arms over your chest and blush.

"Uh, here you go. They were my sisters, if that's okay. They're clean, I promise. Oh, and the, uh, underwear… I got them from the store as well. They're not my sisters." he says as he laughs.

You reach out and take the clothes. You can’t help but laugh back at him.

"Thank you," you say.

He nods his head and awkwardly takes a step back.

"Okay, I'm just gonna..."

You quickly nod your head as well.

"Oh, yeah. Me too..."

You slowly shut the door and lock it again. You look at the folded clothes and sit them on the counter. You put on the undergarments and are happy that they fit. You then slip on a black tank top and grey sweats that are tight around your ankles. A large, long sleeved maroon colored cardigan is in the pile. You slip it on and then the black socks. You examine yourself in the mirror. First clean clothes you’ve had in months. Being here has given you a lot of firsts. You grab the towel and squeeze your damp hair. You bend over and shake your head. You stand back up and the room slightly spins. You grab the counter and steady yourself. It passes.

You then look to the makeup and think to yourself for a moment. Makeup or no makeup? You haven't worn it in months. You don't really need it anymore. I mean, when vampires take over the world, makeup doesn't seem like a big issue anymore. Then again, Ben did get it for you. And it wouldn't hurt to maybe look nice for once. Maybe just some foundation. He did get the perfect shade. You grab the tiny glass bottle and shake it. You open it and pour a little on your fingers. You spread the liquid all over your face and gently massage it. Your once red skin from the hot shower is now flawless. You look down to the mascara and pick it up. You shrug, open the tube and gently swipe it all over your lashes. In an instant, your eyes are brighter. You put the mascara back and grab the liner. You slowly put a thin line of black across your lid. You pull back and make sure it looks okay. You walk to the door and take a deep breath. You slowly open it and peer out.

You take a step forward and a movement catches your eye. You look forward and the room all the way at the end of the hallway is wide open. Inside is Ben. His back is turned to you as he lifts up his shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground. You feel almost guilty for watching, but you don't look away. You watch as the muscles in his back tense up with every move he makes. He grabs a shirt that was lying on the bed and puts his arms through it and then turns around. You realize that he's going to see you, so you freeze. He looks up to you and your eyes lock. Don't look at his abs, don't look at his abs. He slips his shirt over his head and walks towards you. He stares you up and down and shakes his head.

"Wow," he says. "You look-"

"Clean?" you interrupt.

He laughs and nods.

"Definitely clean."

You smile and turn to walk back to your room. You suddenly don't feel as insecure about yourself. You sit on the bed as Ben opens the drawer to get more supplies for the IV, when all of a sudden there's a knock at the door downstairs. You both pause and look at each other fast. Your heart races as you wonder who the hell that could be? Ben closes the drawer and stands up. He looks to the hall and then back to you. He slightly smiles.

"I'll be right back. Stay here." he says almost sternly

You nod quickly as he exits the room and walks down the stairs. You jump up from the bed and tiptoe to the hallway. You stop right by the stairs and listen. You hear a voice talk and then Ben. It's another man. You can only make out the words 'girl', 'healthy' and 'eat'. Eat!? Your heart races even faster. Eat what?! Eat me!?

"That wasn't the deal!" you hear the man shout.

A loud crash vibrates through the house. You jump at the noise and run back to your room. You look around frantically. You need to hide. You run to the closet and open it. Inside it's packed with giant, heavy cardboard boxes. You look through them, but they're all filled with either clothes or books. You turn around to run to the bathroom, but are stopped in your tracks. A brunette man wearing a long black trench coat is standing in the doorway, blocking it. He's smiling at you.

"Hi there." he says.

You say nothing. You continue to watch him as he steps closer. The man looked human, yet didn’t. His skin was unusually pale and his eyes were bright red. The bags under his eyes were almost black as every vein in his body bulged. His fingernails were disgustingly long and sharp and his overall features were distorted and terrifying. You knew exactly why he looked like this. This is what happens to a vamp when they live off of human blood.

"You must be (Y/N). Ben told us all about you."

You take a step back.

"He was right, you are pretty. And skinnier than I thought.” he says disappointed. “He was suppose to fatten you up. You know, the skinny ones always taste bland."

Your body begins trembling. Fatten me up?! Ben’s job was to get you healthy and what? Eat you? What happened to not hurting you? Nothing makes sense right now. He lied. He lied to you! And now you’re about to die, all because you actually thought you could trust him. A vampire! How stupid were you?  

"Oh well,” continues the man. “It doesn't matter. You'll still taste good."

And before you know it, the man lunges at you. You scream and run to your bed and jump on it. You attempt to run for the door, but he's too fast and blocks it. You stop and slowly back up. Tears flood your eyes, you can't stop them.

"Ben!" you scream out.

The man coldly laughs.

"Ben! Please!" he yells in a mocking tone. "It's no use." is all he says.

In a flash, he's in front of you with his hand tightly around your throat. You grasp his wrist and struggle to breathe. You try to fight out of his grip, but it's no use. He's too strong. The room starts to spin as you lose oxygen. You keep trying to scream for Ben, but can't.

"You know, it's a shame. He really liked you."

Just as the man reaches down to bite your neck, you hear a giant whack. The man tumbles forward as you slide to the ground. You take in a deep breath and cough. You hear another whack and look up. Ben is on top of the man, fighting him. A giant slash is on his forehead as thick black ooze pours down. Ben has a large frying pan and is slamming it into the man's head. You feel a sharp sting in your right arm and look down to it. Blood is oozing down from a long cut that you must have gotten when sliding down the wall. You look behind you and spot a sharp nail sticking out from the windowsill. You look back to Ben and you’re heart almost stops. They were both paused and glaring at you, their eyes pitch black. The man's face is snarling as he looks to your arm. A drop of blood drips down and splashes onto the hardwood floor. You look back up and in slow motion, Ben screams at you.

“RUN!”

The man is under him, trying to claw his way to you, leaving scratch marks on the floor. His actions and snarling almost turn animalistic. You finally understand what's happening. You fly up and do exactly as he says.

You run.

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[nobeliumoxygenoxygen]

Seromina || Firsts

For Sero Ship Week Day 3: Firsts at @seroshipweek​

SUMMARY: Ashido tends to overshare her personal life on social media so it’s only fitting that she shares her favourite moments on it too, right?

But this time, it’s only for one pair of eyes.

GENRE: sero hanta x ashido mina, social media au (I think?)

TEXT from your queen 💕

follow @iloveutapeboi on insta its private but dw youll be accepted start from the first post!!!!!!!!

POSTS

1

[Image: Candid of Sero taken from the side; slightly blurry, low angle as if the photographer was trying to be discreet as they took it. He’s wearing an orange hoodie with black stripes. He’s grinning at someone in front of him and he holds a bitten meat pie in one hand. In the background, there are barely visible bowling lanes.]

Caption: the first time i thought to myself “maybe seros actually cute and i actually like him in a like like way” if that make sense lol. maybe there were other times but this was the earliest memory i could think of. this was after that laser tag game we all played and you did your whole dramatic self sacrificing for me (lol quickest way to my heart - take a laser tag shot for me). 

2

[Image: Image of the city taken from inside a bus. Half the image is of the seats of the bus whilst the other half are buildings of the city. A few people are in the shot, but they’re faces are unrecognisable.]

Caption: first time I realised I was in loveeee (i love youu) how cheesy amirite. its a bus because i realised it when we were going back to ua together after a field trip and idk i just had this light bulb moment ok ugh this is too cheesy were done here ily but im cringing too hard at the cheesinesssss (two posts in and im already dying but im pushing thru!!!!)

3

[Image: 2 puppies being held by someone who is clearly Sero by the look of the arms and his orange black striped hoodie. One puppy in each arm; a white pit bull and a brown one.]

Caption: our not-so-official first date?? idk if you’d call it that but like......we were alone together so idk??? u know i was going to actually confess today but the dogs were so cute they distracted me!! so i forgot lol!!! (theyre only sliiiiiightly cuter than u dw dw!!! 🤣)

4

[Image: Sero’s silhouette inside a movie theater. He’s facing the camera but it’s too dark to see much other than the shadows of his face and the glint of his white teeth in his grin. In the far left of the photo, the Lego Movie is playing.]

Caption: our official first date (tho i guess it was kinda rushed??? considering i literally told u i liked u like an hour earlier lmao but i wouldnt have it any other way ❤️)

5

[Image: Ashido’s room, taken from the doorway. The bed is unmade; the curtains are drawn back to let the sunlight in; the desk is a mess of school books and loose sheets. Ashido’s arms are outstretched in front of the camera; she’s forming a heart with her hands.]

Caption: place we had our first kiss!!! (tho we failed like five times and kept laughing!! the movies are wayyyy too serious - they make it seem like ur not allowed to laugh!! our kisses are so much better😘)

6

[Image: Pathway leading up into a park where cherry blossom trees frame the edges. There are a few passerbys and one dog, legs a blur, running through the image.]

Caption: place i asked you to be my boyfriend because SOMEONE STILL had this WEIRD idea that?? i??? didnt?? like?? them? EVEN AFTER?? LIKE FIVE DATES?? AND FIVE KISSES???

7

[Image: UA Heights Alliance common room. Looking through the windows, it’s night and there’s no one in there but there’s food wrappers strewn across the coffee table and the floor.]

Caption: place you said your first i love you (ok i suppose i shouldnt be salty about the boyfriend asking thing because first ilys are such a milestone!!!! ps. im still sorry i panicked when u said it lmao i love how we laugh about it but i know from sources coughbakuyellingthat1tapeboiwasstressingashell that you almost cried ilyyyyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️)

8

[Image: Close up focus of Sero’s lit up face. He’s giving a close-eyed smile to someone slightly to the left of the camera. Just making it in the frame is a slice of bright blond hair. The background is blurred but it is clearly of a busy beach; the sky is blue and there’s not a cloud in sight. There are two figures, one shirtless with red hair and one wearing a wetsuit cut off at the lower thigh with what might be black or dark purple hair in the water in the far background.]

Caption: when i said my first i love you (i love you toos and i love yous on phones dont count!!! and also u are sooooooo cute in this photo!!! not that ur not always cute ofc 😋)

9

[Image: Text screenshot. (Sent) Ashido: IM SO MAD AT U SERO HANTA ANSWER MEEE (Receiving) Sero: NEVER U TRAITOR (Sent) Ashido: UR THE TRAITOR!!!!]

Caption: first fight :( one of the saddest chapters of my life i hope we never do that again ❤️

10

[Image: Rice with natto on top, chopsticks on the side. The dish is on top of pink, patterned napkins.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!) anniversaries (see??? taking pics of food is VERY important!! and u dared to make fun of my ‘attempts at being aesthetics’!!)

11

[Image 1: Necklace in shape of a crown with engraving of words “Alien Queen”.  Image 2: Necklace is flipped over with engraving of words “Ashido Mina”.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!!!) anniversary presents (I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHY R U SO NICEEEEEEE ITS SO CUTE IM WEARING IT EVERYDAY ILY)

12

[Image: From the side, Sero smiling softly, looking up at a beautiful orange sky to match his brighter orange hoodie. His eyes are wide but he’s happy. Behind are a few trees.]

Caption: I love youuuuuuuuuuuu sero hantaaaaaaaaaa and dont you forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *spam of heart emojis* (also u r seriously wearing the same hoodie in like five of these pics w h y)

TEXT to your queen 💕

im actualy cryin can i call u

TEXT from your queen 💕

oof  [Image: google search bar “how to comfort crying boyfriend”.] ofc u can!!

CALL TRANSCRIPT:

Sero: How long have you been planning this? I love you so muchhhhhhhh. I’m crying, can you hear my tears? How did you do it? Did you go to every place or were you planning this from the beginning?

Ashido: *laughter* You can’t hear tears dummy. And you’re not meant to cry! Its meant to be a happy thing! *more laughter*

Sero: ...Glad to know your happy about my pain. ...Its amazing I have literally no words Ashido. I love it-I love you and I love us. Thank you so much.

Ashido: Awww don’t make me blush. It was nothing!

Sero: What do you mean NOTHING? Don’t insult yourself Ashido Mina this is...I don’t know-EVERYTHING!

Ashido: Okay that’s true. I’m awesome.

Sero: I’m going to treasure this forever. You’ll never delete this account right?

Ashido: *giggling* Course not!

Sero: It’s too amazing. Seriously, and I gave you the most cliche relationship present ever.

Ashido: Eesh don’t worry! I love my present! Besides it was the final piece for the account!

Sero: If you say so. You know, I don’t think a meme war counts as a fight...in a relationship...

Ashido: Of course it does! I was soooo angry at you. How could you side with Kirishima?! It was so frustrsting! You wouldn’t BELIEVE!

Sero: ...Trust me I believe. *muffled* Especially after you taped me to the ceiling.

Ashido: What was that?

Sero: Nothing! Also how’d you take the pic of your room with your arms in front of you? Is it...*whispers loudly* sorcery?

Ashido: *giggling* You got it. I have a second quirk that I-...I kept secret. Yup. But I’m telling you because you’re my boyfriend and all.

Sero: And I will totally believe you, because you’re my girlfriend, and all. Hey, I know you need your beauty sleep but can I come over--

Ashido: Yes!

Sero: --tomorrow--wait, what?

Ashido: Oh. Well-

Sero: *muffled snort* Someone’s desperate.

Ashido: *huff* Shhh! You can come over anytime!

Sero: Would you really not mind if I came over now? At like...*shuffling* eleven?

Ashido: Is that even a question? If you come over now, I can add it to the journal!

Sero: The journal?

Ashido: The account Sero!

Sero: Okay...Why? It’s not the first time I’ve been to your house. Firsts was the theme right?

Ashido: Yep! And I can make it ‘First night spent together’ wink wink.

Sero: …*muffled laugh* Whatever floats your boat.

Ashido: But you’re getting a cab here right? You better not walk out this late at night!

Sero: I mean, we’re both training to be heroes if we can’t walk out at night then what could we do--

Ashido: Sero you butt!

Sero: --but yes I’m getting a cab.

Ashido: Good! You better stay on the phone the whole time too!

Sero: Of course. I love you Ashido Mina.

Ashido: And I love you Sero Hanta! ...Wait are you still wearing that orange hoodie?

Sero: ...*distant mumbles* Why do you hate my beloved hoodie so much?

Ashido: *equally distant mumbles* If you wear it one more time the photos will think you have one hoodie.

Sero: What would you say if I said yes?

Ashido: I’d say we’ve got our next date planned and you can guess what it is.

Sero: ...I mean, I wouldn’t say no to any time with you anyway?

Ashido: Pfft, stop being cute. Just-alright, whatever. Tomorrow? At whatever time we wake up I guess?

Sero: It’s a date.

A/N: completely forgot that they live in the same building so pretend it’s holidays or something 🤷 buuuut i hope you enjoyed this was harder than expected so im rlly sorry if they seem ooc 😳!! Thanks for reading!!

[thedappleddragon]

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 8 - “These bitches really do be getting on my nerves” - Chloe

rip stevie :( in the aftermath of that tribal that legit just felt like one massive personal attack i decided to go do some homework bc something felt off to me!! madison was out there whining about OMG BEING IN THE WARZONE THE WHOLE TIME BOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO and yet lmao she's either been "excused" or gotten a strike for deadass just not doing the challenges. the jig is uP! i think it's fairly obvious people are just using the warzone as a way to build relationships and i mean who can blame them, but her whole pity party at these tribals needs to stop. my mood towards her has definitely soured in the last hour lol i'm over it  fam. also i've been talking to ian since the tribal to get some tea since tommy is legitimately useless. i'll like ask him what happened at tribal and he literally just goes "oh i just heard his name from everyone" shrug emoi LIKE!! WOULD IT KILL YOU TO FIND SOME MORE TEA OUT... anyways i find out from ian that cullan apparently brought up that they should target timmy for challenge prowess, to which ian said he shot down due to that being a slippery slope which soon leads to him. if that's true i'm v glad that that got shot down bc that's, in my mind, a shot fired at me. GIRRRRRL, like just leave me alone i shouldn't be fucking persecuted bc half of you guys are throwing challenges and i've actually been doing them. that doesn't mean shit. 

I was able to get 217 seconds on the slide puzzle. Would I get any better? 🤷‍♂️ I dont think so. I have my graduation today so hopefully this score is enough.

not gonna lie I compleeeeetely COMPLETELY forgot about the chall until this morning when I was walking to class and my dumbass is at class and work and class again until 10 pm today so I don’t rlly have a MOUSE on me..... cut to me desperately and embarrassingly texting my classmates asking them to bring a mouse to class for me nnnn this is not gonna go well. maybe it’ll be good for me to go to war zone anyways I guess 

Hi sisters! Last vote was super easy. It was like “Stevie k?” “K.” But also even though I feel like I’m a big part of the decision making process for every vote, I never get less nervous that everyone is lying to me! Strategic playing, or crippling trust issues? You decide.

These bitches really do be getting on my nerves

Its almost graduation time and im sooo nervous and excited. It would be nice to not be in warzone tonight. Please survivor gods help me.

Well this is a crucial immunity. After being out of the war zone for 2 in a row I feel at this point I am a little outside the people who have been there so many times. I think I have some strong bonds with some players but I do not that a couple have it out for me. Namely Madison and Jacob, which at this point I fed they should be over the whole Renee vote but that’s their prerogative. 

Sooooo Final 15 baby! Honestly Im so proud of this time around on my TS journey cause Im actually liking the individual competition portion of this game. Its like the merge part of any Survivor game but with a "tribal competition" aspect. Meaning that I only have to worry about me, myself, and I and I love that. I just need to show that Im the bad bitch that is in control and take this game by the fucking reins and show it who's boss. Aint no way Im gonna get 15th, 14th or 12th again madam. No way. 

Reinke

---

I survived, yeet. Kait survived, yeet. Ian went in, f*ck. Maynor went in, f*ck. Chloe went in, f*ck. Adrian went in...yeet.

Hello! I am safe again, 2nd time in a row? Idk. I do like Kait but I don't entirely trust her. I think I can use her for a bit as she'll believe she's using me. If I have the chance to get her out before or early merge, I will. Thomas is the most boring person in this game. I have yet to meet Timmy but I doubt anyone can beat Thomas in this feat. Talking to him is like talking to a wall. A white wall too. Also, he has no manners, demands favours and doesn't say please or thank you... The second I have the chance, he's gone. Nehe should've stayed, not him. Otherwise, Ian and I are working on some kind of power together for battleship. I really do like Ian. I hope we can make it far together, he's my number 2 after Owen. Together, we have the Topaz Idol and a potential save vote and a potential new power. Maynor and I have been socializing and friendly, I want him gone sooner than later but he's not a priority. He isn't great in comps generally. Still love Trace and I do trust him to an extent. I dislike Stephen, would like to see him leave relatively soon. I don't trust him at all. On the other side, Matt is going to tribal and him and I have built quite a bit of trust previously, I hope he makes it. I'm happy Cullan and Owen and Adrian are safe as I trust all 3 to certain extents. I would like Timmy to go due to his comp prowess and due to the fact we have yet to interact, but he's immune, again. I hope Chloe makes it out okay. I also hope Devon makes it out alive. I love that guy. I think Devon, Chloe, Trace and Ian can work together though! Matt could join with them as him and Devon were big parts of the Renee vote. Madison and Maynor, who were both left out of that vote, could see their way out which is A-okay by me. Jacob was also left out of this vote but I think Ian won't target him, just my two cents. I see Jacob as a better ally for me down the road compared to Madison or Maynor. That being said, I like many people in this game. I think my social game is strong. I do need to be careful with my words as some may catch on. And I may find myself at tribal with 7 ppl I like. I have my hierarchy of allies in my mind and I know who's at the bottom of my totem poll, I just hope I can get those who aren't even on it out first. I'm also a comp threat. Usually, I can lurk in the shadows more easily but with the dynamic and my low level of comfort with risk, competition prowess combined with my social game, though flashy, is what I'm betting on to keep myself safe. Owen and Kait and Timmy's competition prowess outshines mine and people peg Madison as the socialite who throws/does not complete comps to be in warzone. As long as there are some who play flashier than me, I'll be okay. Until next time!

I found a Rock Saver with the help of Corey, chill but I'm more than happy to send that over to him the second I'm back from warzone.  That is such a situational power and there aren't really alliances yet to risk rocks for, but when there are it will be within Corey and I's power to use.  Again, I'll play the idol to survive if I need to, but I'll do everything I can to prevent having to play it at f16, the jury doesn't care about what happens in the premerge portion of the game.

---

It's going to be Jacob or Madison this round. Idol or bust, Cancer will take a hit, because fuck cancer.  I'm done with the waiting for someone to take out players who have been just chilling in the Warzone, I'm done with the throwing challenges, I'm done with the deceit.  The Warzone is not redemption island, you can't feed me a fish and send me on my way to build your jury presence.  Madison is sans her warzone buddies, she's vulnerable besides Jacob.  Let's go!

I may be in the war zone rn but Ian is here and I have fuckin missed that boi so yanno pros and cons 

I so so so do not want to be here at Warzone again. This vote is probably the most complicated thus far because at this point I need a lot of things to go a very specific way in order for people to not realize I’m in the middle. Devon trusts me and wants to go with Ian’s plan to vote our Madison or Jacob and Madison and Maynor want to vote Ian which I would also like. However at this point I need to make everyone happy and the odds of doing that are so slim. I just have to convince Maynor wnd Madison to vote Jacob or Devon to vote Ian and neither one is the path of least resistance. I’m on the path of MOST resistance and by path I mean 1 inch wide tightrope suspended over hungry sharks.

I was not that surprised when I got voted out. I did not expect it because voting out Stephen did in fact seem like a plausible option and i felt that between him and myself it was kinda similar. It was believable that he would be voted off, but I totally understand why I was voted off. The interesting part about it to me is I think I was the least connected person in the game and I can see how that can get dangerous in merge because those people can flip a lot, but right now I thought it might've been a good opportunity to gain me as a number. I think this tribal was my first interaction with Trace and Ian. I did like them and I liked talking to them and I think I had potential to work with them if the plan of voting me out wasn't already in place. There were a few people I did not talk to that round because i didn't think I should've had to reach out to EVERYONE in order to talk to them. I just think there are alliances that have formed that i am not a part of because the decision-making for these votes is kinda weird and I don't always understand the motives. So to me an alliance i am not a part of makes the most sense. I was very excited about the lagoon though. I am hoping I get a chance to come back because that would be lit. I just need to stick it out through these votes and I am hoping Renee is connected to at least one of the other three so we can stay. Kinda glad Nehe is gone. I think he was bad for my game

Devon has been a godsend so far today, I talked to him last night about wanting Jacob or Madison out and he has up and ran with it.  Devon being the face on this vote? Yes please, I don't want to blow back on me if it flips.

I actually have people working with me and talking to me this round? 😮😮😮 crazy that maybe these people have finally stopped trying to get me fucking out 

Trying to talk to cullan rn and I can’t decide if it’s more or less difficult than talking to Thomas. He’s sent like three one word answers now.... Me: you doing anything exciting this weekend!? Cullan: Graduating. Ummmm ok hoe sounds real exciting hskshdjd like elaborate? Oh well I’m not answering. I tried to reach out bc my social game is ass rn but I’m not putting myself thru that today!!!! I miss Kait :( and I want to talk to corey :(((( grrrr they the real ones. And matt. Have yet to have a stimulating conversation with literally anyone else in this game. Wait ok actually I do like Timmy and madison SJSU’s je but madison busy too and Timmy sends LONG messages. Why can’t I have an in BETWEEN!!

I'm definitely going to see at least one vote tonight, I'm nervous about it because if people flip on me instead of voting Jacob I'll be dead to rights because I will not play my idol unless another idol is played. My thought process is that if I need my idol to save myself from a majority vote tonight then I wasn't bound to go far in this game anyway. I'll take my ball(advantages) and go home. 5 people told me they are voting Jacob, Matt told me Jacob is voting for me, if I'm being fed bullshit by everyone then that's just how the cookie crumbles.

Today has been quiet but people have brought up that Jacob and Madison are a strong duo. Matt was able to put the target on Jacob. It could be a 4-4 tie but Matt Madison n I might just go with majority and vote Jacob.

As per usual, I have no idea if I made a confessional about this or not. I can’t believe I won immunity, like I didn’t even have computer access. And i got 3rd so i had some margin to be safe (granted Adrian got 4th with one second more than me but still). That was the first time I did the puzzle because my other times were worse. If I was doing it on a computer my time would’ve been so much better so idk what happened with everyone else. And today Owen messaged me saying he feels kind of fucked because he hasn’t been to tribal in ages, which might be true but also he can probably win a lot of immunities come merge and people like him. I’m happy to work with him right now because we both have a lot of challenge wins but honestly I want him to go earlier on in merge because he is good at getting quick social connections.

oof mama, what a round this is panning out to be. First of all, I felt personally victimized by that challenge. The Ard tribe is full of some SERIOUS competitors, and that's the reason that I will most likely continue to show up at these stupid war zones until we merge. Fucking Kait has made it this far without going to the war zone at all, which is putting SUCH A LARGE target on her back. bUt whatever, it's just frustrating being on a tribe of people that probably do online puzzles for fun. So this round is interesting. After last round's unanimous vote, I feel a lot more comfortable working with certain people in the game. Ian has kind of solidified his spot as my number one in this game (more to come about that too). He came to me and was like we NEED to make a move against Madison/Jacob. He said he knows that Madison is a challenge threat, but is purposely trying to lose the challenges so that she can make connections with people in the war zone. Though he had made some points, I really don't think Madison is that smart to figure out how to do that. I really just think she is busy/not prioritizing and keeps showing up here. She seems pretty innocuous. That being said, she has become a bit of a social threat, slipping by all of these rounds without having to really do much. BUT, I do trust her and don't want her to be sent packing quite yet. Jacob, her star sign partner, on the other hand, can go. He doesn't talk at all, and when he doesn't they're boring one word answers. So I had pretty much set my heart on Jacob even though he is on our tribe, making my chances higher of showing up here if we keep doing the war zone format. To make matters more interesting, I talked a bit more to Matt this round and he told me that Madison and Jacob were gunning for Ian this round. Madison claims she is good with voting for Jacob, but everyone else says they seem to be a strong pair. I went straight to Ian with this and then he TOLD ME HE HAD AN IDOL. Honestly I am so happy to know he has it and not someone against me, because that's going to be some great information to have later on down the road. I think he is really paranoid, but at this point I just really cannot tell who is lying and telling the truth. I am hoping that people are being truthful and going to actually vote for Jacob, but I am trying to figure out who exactly has been saying Ian's name. It's ultimately going to be up to him whether he wants to play the idol this round but oof, if I were him, I'd be sweating. SO we shall see, but lord knows I'm shaking in my loafers!

[horansqueen]

Harry Styles blurb

The First Time You Hear SOTT

✔ i don’t have a title. ✔ im sorry its not that good tbh ✔ its just fluff but this idea was stuck in my head ✔ its cheesy and blablabla sue me ✔ i couldnt find a proper gif for this im sorry lol ✔ you guys know i dont proofread sorry! ✔ idk tell me what you think ✔ 1.2k

"Could you please come over? I need you tonight."

Your lips curl as you read the text your boyfriend just sent you and quickly type a reply, telling him you're on your way and adding a heart emoji at the end. You don't bother dressing up, you're already wearing an old pair of sweatpants that used to be his but that ended in your drawer to your immense joy along with a ripped shirt that belongs to him too. This one smells like him since he wore it last time he came over and you didn't really want to wash it, lying to yourself and pretending that you simply 'forgot".

The drive is short and the night is warmer than you expected. You quickly find a spot to park your car near his house and grab your stuff, walking quickly to the front door. You know he's expecting you so you just open the door slowly and find the whole house in the dark. It makes you frown slightly and you lick your lips, waiting for your eyes to get used to the darkness.

"Harry?" your voice is lower than you intended and you clear your throat before to call his name again.

"In my room, love."

You smile and your heart jumps inside you chest like every single time you hear Harry's voice, especially when it's been a while. You drop your purse near the couch and throw your sweater on it, walking gently but quickly to his room. You see his shadow laying in bed and he turns his head your way before to pat on the other side of the bed, asking you to join him. You don't say anything but lay down next to him, shivering slightly as he pulls the cover over your body. You grip his hand and an other kind of shudder runs up your spine this time. Without waiting, he intertwines your fingers with his and it makes you whimper low, your lips curling even more.

It was not the first time Harry texted you late at night asking you to come over, or just showing up at your door. It never bothered you, it's actually a part of him you enjoy intensely.

"Y/N." he whispers after a few minutes of silence. "I wanted you to hear something."

You frown slightly and turn your head his way as he grabs a remote. It takes a few seconds but finally, you can hear the soft melody of a piano invade the room. You feel your heart flutter and you know exactly when Harry's voice is going to start because he holds your hand so hard it almost hurts. And you hold your breath as your eyes quickly close. You let the lyrics sink in as your heart beats hard against your rib cage. His voice gets higher and he reaches notes that make your whole body tremble. You've been moved by songs before, but this time it's different, it's on a whole different level.

This song had been a secret for so long, yet you had heard him hum it several times in the shower or simply when he was cooking. You never asked because you didn't want him to stop and you never went as far as begging him to let you hear it before it was completely done. He would have, no doubt, but you knew it was something that he didn't like to do, and you loved him too much to do that to him.

And it was worth the wait. The mix of the lyrics, his voice and the music made you feel something you had not felt very often and if you really think about it, this feeling was only alive around Harry.

His thumb rubs on the top of your hand and he even scratches your skin slightly with his nail. He is nervous, you can tell, but you try to focus on the song and everything it brings inside you. The fact that you can feel his warm body next to you makes everything even better and when you start tearing up, you decide that there was no reason for you to keep it inside. What's the point of being touched and moved by something if you're just going to force yourself to hide it? You feel tears slide down your cheeks and reach your neck and you don't bother wiping them. The bridge makes your heart twist in your chest and the ending makes you squeeze his hand even harder.

When silence comes back in the room, you remain motionless and so does Harry. You breathe in, trying to get back to your senses and finally open your eyes, wipe a tear that was tickling the skin of your neck.

"Are you crying?"

Your boyfriend's voice comes in a low breathing and you finally sniff and swallow before to clear your throat, knwowing your own voice will just break.

"Yes." your murmur.

Silence comes back again for about a minute.

"That's a good thing isn't it?"

A smile draws itself on your lips at his question but you stay motionless, letting out a low chuckle.

"Yes." you whisper again.

He keeps quiet, obviously trying to find the right question to ask you, but the only thing that comes out of his lips is one simple yet very specific question.

"So?"

It's your turn to remain silent and you know it's killing him but it seems like you can't find the right words because no words would be able to explain how his song makes you feel. No word would qualify this song correctly.

"I love you, Harry." you simply say, your voice echoing on the walls, this time. "And your song is perfect."

It takes him a few seconds but he finally turns around, still holding your hand, but lets the fingers of his other run on your stomach softly. You turn your head to look at him and smile in the darkness, his face only lighted by the halos of the street lamps outside.

"I thought you only allowd people to listen to it on your ipod." you ask, licking your lips.

He chuckles, a dimple digging itself on his left cheek, and looks up in your eyes,

"It's true, but you're different." he explains. "I wanted you to really hear it."

That confession makes something explode in your stomach and you grin before he lets go of your hand and slowly moves on top of you. A lock of his growing hair falls in front of his eyes and your let your fingers gently put it back. He eases himself between your legs as you spread them more to give him space. He stares at you and the love you have for him makes you want to cry again for some stupid reason.

"I love you too, Y/N." he breathes before to bend down and kiss your lips.

You gently wrap your arms around his neck and answer his kiss. It's slow but deep and the weight of his body over yours makes you whimper low in his mouth. He pulls away slightly and you smirk.

"Can you play it again?" you dare asking, biting your bottom lip.

It makes him chuckle some more and he reaches for the remote. Soon, you hear the piano notes invade the room again and you feel yourself start melting.

"Anything for my number one fan."

He smirks and you laugh but he stops you quickly by pressing his lips on yours again.

"We can play it all night, babygirl."

[petradroid]

Life, regret, judgment

Dear social media, dear beloved family, lover and friend.

I wrote this letter, to this social media, because on occasion and perhaps have no other way or someone i could talk to or talk with, and still hoping, for everyone or anyone who read this, realize the fatal things if someone, either your family members, friend, beloved ones, or anybody close to you,…is having a stress, depression, or mental break.

“Do not ignore them, do not ignore their feelings, do not ignore their needs to let their emotions out, and please try to listen, it might saves someone future, it might even save someone lives!!!”

=====

So here i am writing this note or letter, what ever you wish to call,… Right now im 34, next year will be 35,feel real old to me. Born in jakarta, indonesia around july 1983. 1 old brother and 1 older sister. Not married, i wish i was. Im doing my own business, sometimes drive for uber, and of course with shitty passanger of course.

Around five years ago, i was having a bad, i mean bad bad bad stress and got into depressed. I start hearing voices in my head, i thought it was just illusions and imaginations, but then everytime i try to avoid those voices, it hurts my head. (actually the voices starts around a year or two before i went to the psychiatric) And so…. Yes I went to psychiatric and of corse the final convic was, i was schizophrenic paranoid with High level depressions. Yes cause at that time, i have tendencies even yes… I try to end my life over and over, around few times i guess, i was try to jump from 10 stories heights, and rest is pills. But somehow yet i don’t even know how to describe it (perhaps a video link to my tubr, I’ll try explained it), im still here.

The end life things was weird, said my psychiatric, i told her everytime i want to kill my self, its not fear that showed up, more to euphoric kinda sensation and curiosities , its like a child that having a new toy, or maybe like meeting someone you adore, yeah.. Kinda like that. Trust me its dangerous…

Well the sad things is, at that dark moments of craziness, i don’t have friends to fight this illness, i even don’t have anyone to share with, to talk with (and the truths, its been the whole time for almost 20 years long) . Well i do have friends, but not that kinda friend(s),but there is one, still consider best friend, he accompanied me to the psychiatric, he knows the story, he knows what happen, he offer to help, but yet until today.. He is nowhere to be found.

Short story, bla bla bla, i was fighting my own mind the whole time until now, i try to survive alone, i bought the meds alone, i do the therapy by my self,i don’t go to hospitals, i read the facts about this illness, i studied it, and yes still here. But then, still.. No one knows and believes my story but hell sure i can fucking proof it.LOL

There are still lot of people think that this kinda mentall illness, mental issues is just… “nah its just imagination, just in your head, it will over soon, just threw out the window and done, and stamped in the forehead you are lunatic crazy ”. Oh believe me, when you’re having what we having right now, perhaps you wish you were dead. But off the record, most of people with mental illness usually they are more sensitive, more caring, and if you had or found that click in them oh trust me, they way more better than you fucking normal people, in work job, art, music taste, food and drinks and they have more loyalty and i have proof and its been fact written in few articles (ill share the link perhaps, or maybe you can find out by your self. LoL)

Well most of you probably already knew what cause this mental breakdown issues. Yes.. Trauma, bullies, father mother figure issues, no friends, stressed and depressed and after that comes the one big same problem, no one helping, no one believes them, no hand to hold, no shoulder to lend, and no one to hug, and specially no ears would listen. They are humans to, they need to talk to share and express their thoughts, feelings, complaints,….. and people with this mental illness, let me tell you, sometimes they hard to speak up, hard to express, they run out of words, they panic, they agitated, and most of them… they feel shame for what they having and been through.

So that’s why you fucking normal people, don’t be fucking selfish jackass and ignore like you are the most normal asshole (pardon my language) imagine it was you child having this mental issue, you mom, dad..even your loved ones. People with mental health problems also want to be treated normally, they want to go to work, success, a house, car a job, and most of all… Someone special to share with,to hold on with.

Perhaps i wrote this was also.. Well at the time, this very moment, i was having a fight with my girlfriend. Its a very cold treatment to me and its all my fault, i admit it. But somehow i don’t get the chance to fix it, and even i don’t get the chance what causing me like this, i mean causing me to hurt her. Well it fatal from her perspective, it’s because i insult her stuff that she lend it to me, and somemistakes like forgot something, being dumb and childish few times, but that really get her in the nerve.

But what i was trying to tell her is that, i was like that cause what im having, how sometimes my mind went off, the stage of trauma, fear of alone by my self, and that is what I’ve been trying to say, and somehow it was hard and difficult to say it and tell her that when everthing was fine, and hard to say it even now and then,and somehow, this writing helps me well.

You out there, by the time you read this section, i mean this paragraph, i mean the sentences you are reading right now., please.. No matter who you are, you are a bad person, a good person, an asshole, anyone… Surely you have someone you loved, someone close to you, just try to listen to them,to their thought, compromise, and be caring if can and don’t ignore them.. It might save them, it might save you and it might save live(s). Tell them, : “you are not the problem, but i see you as an opportunity, a perfect person, and you can do it because i am are here for you”

Bla bla bla again, at this very end of my writings, to be honest, the cause of my trauma, im living for the rest of my life under the shadow of not very happy family, my big brother was in drug since he was 16,17 i guess but then from i was a kid, i always been bullied and intimidated by him, my beloved father wasn’t like it seems after he passed away, i mean his real story,… then i got no real friends for fact, friends i had many, but true friend i guess non,…. And then most of my love story is bad case, most of it they, i mean my ex treatme like shit in the end, i hope they got what they deserved, my last romance story, like i was writing before this, i got left out, she dump me out, and yes cause it my fault of course, but if only i had the chance to explain her for what happen with me and who i really am, and what could i do… But then i don’t blame her, i mean the one i just broke up. Well i really wish she could just listen, and yeah for the record yes im still broken in pieces and still holding on.

Dear readers, i know my writings isn’t that interesting, its not an epic story of the year, or any years, its just common, but i glad i wrote it, perhaps i could leave at least a memory and lessons for you normal asshole people,and at this time, well i feel me head start to snap, my heart torn in pieces, mind messed up, frozen and paralyzed, and yes i am afraid for getting snap and shit. Cause it ain’t fun. My head feels hurt now, and few times i start hearing small tiny voices. I hope i make it in time.

Thank you very much for reading, wish you all well and healthy.

Regards,

Rahmat Elroes Petra Boas.

http://schizophrenia.com/success.html

https://youtu.be/hCwVhQA8j_0

https://youtu.be/FrV9oO0BOtk

[crossgartered]

P5R liveblog (8/?)

(Makoto arc end)

[[MORE]]

Oh, hey, Chihaya.

Idk if I'm remembering the timing right, but it looks like they took out Ryuji's interaction with those two entirely. I told him to wait outside bc of his uniform and he said he'd kill some time somewhere until I was done

It really does seem kind of awful of us to volunteer Mishima for this, especially without him knowing.

OH HERE THEY ARE

Oh, hey, they think he's interested in drag bc of how he was looking into Crossroads. They want to help him out. Still sucks that this supposed to be something funny, and that they're dragging him off without his wanting to, but it is better than it was.

UGHHHH MISHIMA IM SORRY

Oh, this translation seems different. A bit more natural, I think. Still really harsh, though. Sae...

Makoto...

FUCKING PRIESTESS LISTEN TO YOUR INNER SELF THIS IS JUST DOING SOMETHING FOR THE SAKE OF DOING ANYTHING PLEASE PULL BACK AND THINK STRATEGICALLY INSTEAD IF GOING ABOUT THIS SO EMOTIONALLY

Honestly her charm stat is in the pits. It's kind of hilarious since you need high (max? Idr) charm to progress past rank 5 with her.

Huh, if she had social stats... High knowledge, low charm, good guts, not totally sure about proficiency & kindness but I'm leaning towards okay-low proficiency and middling-decent kindness.

Now, the others...

Ryuji would have low knowledge, good guts,

Listen, I'm having trouble with quantifying their kindness. Because, they all have differing levels of what I consider personal-kindness and general-kindness

Wait. Do I really want to get on this tangent right now? ...Not really. Hold that thought. Back to the game.

GOD this was so dangerous I am honestly amazed that she got out of this okay.

GOD THAT IS SO DANGEROUS I AM HONESTLY AMAZED THAT HE GOT OUT OF THAT OKAY

Honestly I'm kind of surprised Kaneshiro doesn't have a doorman or anything.

Jeez, Kaneshiro's face looks off compared to everyone else. Like, on its own, it's a decent face, but it looks like it doesn't belong with the rest.

Huh, I wonder how many of them actually have mommies and daddies to beg money from. Let's see... Makoto is being raised by her prosecutor sister. Parents dead. Ryuji is being raised by a single mom. Dad left a long time ago. Canonically poor. Yusuke was being raised by Madarame. Mom dead. Dad out of the picture, idr how. Canonically poor, with poor money sense. Ann has parents. Successful fashion designers that she doesn't see half the year. And the protag has an ambiguous family situation. Of course, I have my headcanons, but that's nothing. Anyway, if we were going about this the way Kaneshiro wanted us to, Ann would probably be able to provide the most, followed by Makoto. (Again, leaving Ren out of this).

Guh, thinking about it like that feels shitty.

...can you even imagine an ATM with Ann's pigtails though? I mean I know the other ATMs don't have any distinguishing features but still

Anyway

Godddd, I really love when people are given reaction shots when something another character is saying is resonating or otherwise meaningful to them

Makoto: "A lot happened after we lost her father three years ago, so it's just us living together... But I'm still a child, so all I am is a burden to her..."

Yusuke: *cut-in* "......"

Me: *chef's kiss*

...it happens at other times in this game (and other stuff), too, but I just wanted to point it out. Especially bc you kind of have to infer a lot of the time when it comes to Yusuke.

OHHHDJDJSJDJJDS HE LOOKED SO SAD WHEN MAKOTO CALLED HIM A CANINE

"IT'S FOX" HE SAYS

Both Makoto and Ann called him specifically a monster cat. I wonder if the Japanese calls him a cat ayakashi or something.

What property damage did any of us cause?

Why is Shadow Kaneshiro purple anyway?

JOHANNA IS SO FUCKING COOL GODDAMN

I love Makoto's awakening ngl

But honestly, is there a /bad/ awakening in the bunch? They really killed it with the game aesthetics, you know?

"No weaknesses. Our only chance is to make them confused" or whatever she just said about confusing them. Idk if I just tune her out or if that's a new thing

Didn't Makoto have Flash Bomb or whatever that multi-phys + chance of Dizzy skill was called? Maybe she gets that at a higher level

*heavy sigh* Okay, Makoto

"I will crush him like a fly" I see what you did there

It really is nice that they're bringing up the advisor thing instead of just her doing it herself. I still feel like there should have been a little more talk about it amongst the 5 of them instead of just the 3 human-shaped guys but w/e

The references to English songs and memes is a little jarring, ngl

Man, Sae's gonna flip her shit when she hears what Makoto did to get here.

Awww Ann & Makoto are bonding

*sigh* listen, I like Makoto, I even dated her in my first playthrough of vanilla p5, but I really dislike how they just keep shilling her around this time. It's a little off-putting. I think it's a thing Atlus likes to do.

Hmm? Is the man getting joint pain on rainy days going to affect his Mementos fight?? Interesting.

Ughhhhhh Queen choosing her name and then the """strategy""" thing is exactly the same. Like her being there even changes anything about how we go about things. And we do think about what we're doing, actually! Well, mostly Morgana bc Phantom thievery is his whole schtick. But like, outside our usual plans, we successfully pulled off the heist in the Madarame Palace, for example. We also opened the locked door and dealt with that. We go about the palaces with intent! Blugh.

"it's my role to be the brain of this team and give out orders" BLUGH

And then Ryuji & Mona are into it... -_-+

I hate this part. It's awkward and dumb. There are better ways to make her their advisor, Atlus

Also someone mention that I am field leader pls. I know you did in vanilla p5 do it now as well

I wonder if they've changed her s.link abilities? They at least have to have given her 1 more thing due to the baton pass thing

I WONDER IF EIKO WILL HAVE A SPRITE NOW?!?!? I hope so ^u^

GUH I love Makoto's Queen outfit.

Oh, whoops, I forgot about that conversation. Maybe I should have put Morgana in my party.

But heck yeah, let's do a finisher! I wonder how to get these for people.

RYUJI WANTS TO DO A SHOWTIME WITH FOX "We could call it Art Run or something" I LOVE HIM

SHIT WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I SAVED

Ugh, it's really frustrating that they're trying to get me to showtime w Ann & Morgana when all the enemies here are weak to Zio & Bufu (with a little bit of Psi & Gun thrown in for good measure).

Okay, have reorganized my party so I don't have to use an Agi-weak persona to go after enemy weaknesses. That was so embarrassing.

Oh, neat! My sleuthing instinct kicked in! ... Makoto's abilities have to have changed.

YOU MEAN SHOWTIME CAN KICK IN EVEN WHEN ONE OF THE MEMBERS IS NOT IN THE PARTY?!?!?! AHHHH

Maybe even both, idk. Morgana seemed like the best choice to heal/lucky punch so he's in my party rn but maybe when he gets swapped out later I'll find the answer to that

...this is being surprisingly easy. But I don't think I'm overleveled... Jeez, I haven't bought weapons since Kamoshida's Palace. And they give you so many clothes in this game... And accessories! Really!

But yeah, I finished that security guy in 3 moves. Morgana - Garu (absorbed), Yusuke - Bufu (inflicting Freeze), Ryuji - Headbutt (Technical) -> All-Out Attack. I remember it being a lot harder in the original. Idk.

Okay, the next one was slightly harder. It took two All-out-attacks to beat it. But hmm.

Maybe I am overleveled, though. Apparently that miniboss (??) Was only level 21, and I am 23.

Oh, I'm getting Sigma feelings. Ann's counting down for opening the vault-like door.

I don't think I've ever noticed before how neat Kaneshiro's palace music is. Well, at least the Laundering Office, anyway. What is this, exactly? It's some version of Price - that's the same melody line, but the instrumentation is all different. That's not to say that Price isn't good; it's just that I'm weak for strings & orchestra instruments in non- orchestral songs. It sounds darker and more intense. I love it

Oho? That gold vault door seems new.

Or maybe I just don't remember it.

Anyway. I really do appreciate that Morgana mentions Shadow personalities in negotiations. Like, I read the tutorial on it, but it's nice to have him like "what's this one so happy about? Well, guess we'll play long for now" or whatever he says for an upbeat shadow. It's pretty neat.

"I wonder what it'd be like if we had Palaces instead of Personas." SAME, RYUJI, SAME 👀👀👀👀👀

Hmm, I know Joker Palace has some fics, and I think I remember seeing a Crow Palace fic, but I wonder about the others...? Hmm 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

I don't want to accidentally spoil myself, though. I'll go through the archive after I finish this.

"Your Palace would definitely be a beef bowl shop." ANN OMG

"Why'd you gotta give a straight answer right off the bat? I can't argue with that!" Ryuji pls ;u;

Why do Will Seeds all look like that? I know there are those death things with the hollow eyes like that, but is that what it is? It just seems so out of place in this technical setting. I'm kind of surprised they don't change appearances to suit their Palace. Tbh, it doesn't really look like anything that comes from Mementos, either. But I suppose it must...

WHOA, why did the Velvet Room door turn red? "I have an uneasy feeling" Same, protag, same

WHY IS THE VELVET ROOM ON HIGH ALERT

A fusion alarm? OH COME ON IT HASNT BEEN THAT LONG SINCE I FUSED ANYONE

Is this because I still have Jack Frost with me? But come onnnn I already had most of this palace's inhabitants alreadyyyy

By /fusing/ them

Could this have come at any time? Or was this scripted for now? Oh, wait, I overreacted, this says that my Personas will be stronger if I do it during a fusion alarm. Kind of incentivizes him to slack off, though, doesn't it? Lol

Oh, interesting. Look at all those accident possibilities. Nvm.

Orpheus... ;-;

Huh, I didn't realize the Picaro versions also were not just dlc

"You would like me to become your mask? Well then, let us search for the answers of life together."

*lie down* *try not to cry* *cry a lot*

Anyway.

I need to go to Mementos and find an Eligor. Gotta get that Flauros.

YES FINALLY MY GUTS INCREASED

Aww, the newspaper club girl is rooting for the phantom thieves. She's so angry at akechi rn

Oh, speaking of! Hello, Akechi!

AHHH RYUJI AND MAKOTO TEAM UP IM SO PSYCHED

Oh man it's bc of the motorcycle ISNT IT, RYUJI : DDDDDD

JDSKSKXNXJKS

The voice acting there was. Wonderful. Omfg

Actually, now that I think about it, it makes a lot of sense that Ryuji's tried to suggest team ups twice now, ever as soon as he learned they were a thing. He was on the track team, and the team aspect of that was very important to him. He likes cheering others on and being cheered on by others. Specifically by training and sweating and testing limits together - by fighting together. Of course ryuji is interested. Of course he is.

Man, I wish I had better context for the "you filthy fly on dirty money" line - I mean, obviously he's Beelzebub, who is apparently in charge of gluttony, but like, is that a phrase? Is this just a Beelzebub reference or is there more to it bc it feels like there's more to it and I don't understand bc cultural reasons

Blegh I don't want to give up my expensive items...guess I'll do this the tedious way.

Ah, here we go. Let's see how these hired guns are. Hopefully I can see the Makoto & Ryuji showtime? :3 ?

Wait, Bael? Not Beelzebub? Really? Huh?

YES IT'S SHOWTIME

HOLY SHIT I LOVE IT

I wonder why that briefcase was related to his distorted desires. We really know so little about Kaneshiro, relatively

Yusuke's kinda on the ball today.

...*snerk*

Wow, damn, Akechi was potentially onto us since the Kaneshiro calling card? He gave a list of potential candidates, maybe we were on it...

Makoto, really, it was unfair of everyone to put the burden of resolving the Kaneshiro issue on you. You really can't be blamed. you know that, right?

Oh, hey look, it's 'Gaudy Student' there in the background

Hhhhhhhhhhh there are so many choices I have 5 potential social links to do tonight. I could start Kawakami, Ohya, Chihaya, or Hifumi, or I could level up Yoshida since it's Sunday

AHH KASUMI IS SO CUTE. FUCK!

BWAHAHAHAHA justice rank 3 is. Amazing.

"I've seen everything. A vision of you groveling on the ground..." IS THIS THE THING IN DECEMBER SHES TALKING ABOUT

[idgadeep]

Hi. Guess it right, I'm here to tell a story what my life has been up to. Today is different because this is not a late night thoughts writing. It's 11.36 in the morning now so I guess before I forgot what I need to tell, I'll type it here just in case some day or one day I need to look back how my life will change and why the change is good. Sometimes I'm easily forgot what people did to me and I get along with them like nothing ever happened. Too easy right but the truth is I forgot. Always. I forgot how I sit or lay on a sofa and imagining, thinking over on situation that could happen with different scene on what I should do to the assholes whom left some scars in my life. Too bad most of the times I ...just forgot. Im not revengeful. I love to keep things easy and simple. A good friend of mine once said in his IG stories that sounds something like " If you know something burdens your mind then why the hell are you still carry them. Live your life and make it simple ". Little did I know what he wrote will become a thing that happened to me. He will never know this haha because this is nothing relates about him. But it's about my own other half. Have you ever thought that, you have this one good friend where you share everything like foods, problems, plans, stupid stories, presents, time, and anything. Anything in this life you just both share no matter if its just a small thing like what you ate this morning? Well if the answer is no then I dont know what should I say ...if you don't have that one good friend in your life you just kind of pathetic & sad...?? It's harsh isn't it but I'm trying to be honest that's all. Not really a good story you want to hear... but maybe this is what you get when you too good with your other half. I get. You were too blind to see what was wrong when you can fix it. Too blind to know the closest person to you...is the worst enemy you could get. Funny, how I never realised what could happen when you play the victim card game. I know this, what I write here is unethically acceptable and really fucked up but I don't name names. It could be whoever in this planet and it could be just a made up story I create at this moment. Could it be? I know this is too long to read but lol no one will read this and Twitter's 140 characters limit is shit. There's something wrong with yourself. Something you made up because it's in your mind. Donno why it never been figured out but I feel blue when I thought about it. You point out rules that was never existed in your life. You set conditions, that never bother what you think will bother. I knew. What can I do? I can't help if you keep living the way of life you are in now. I was there to help you but never got the chance. We talked, we discussed but to no avail. I always knew what you afraid of most of them are unrealistic. You could be better. You could be stronger. But why.. you love to complicate simplest thing. Idk why you has no sense of empathy?sympathy? You can speak better you can say better. But its just something in you, that you forbid yourself to let it out. You are afraid of your own shadow. After all this time, I was always there that can help you through this but what you ever done is pushing people away????¿ That is the best thing you can do. I'm truly sorry ...I was there to say these things when I was beside you. Now, thanks for fucked things up and pushed me away just like you did to other people who were tried to help you??? Idk. I just sound so pathetic writing this aren't I . The truth is I still have plenty things happening in my life now but I stopped by here to let everything out. As soon as I post this on my blog page I just continue my every day's as usual. You're not the reason that could get me weak duh? Dont worry. Im feeling better and I could do more productive things.Its just a pain in the ass that I needed to let go. I don't care anymore. Welcome to another the one that got away episode in life. Need I say more?

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunty movie 1

sooo ruth and i watched the first hxh movie holla

me as soon as we’re done w/the yorknew arc: OH FUCKY ITS ANIME MOVIE TIME

i love anime movies. theyre so often Entertaining As Hell, and also Not Very Good. its a very fun intersection 

overall this movie slots pretty easily into that category. it was a good time but nothing revolutionary. which is ok! and that makes sense bc its not canon apparently 

this movie was basically the ‘killua and kurapika have Trauma(tm)’ movie lmao 

we open w/killua having a trauma dream abt illumi, rehashing the stuff we saw in the hunter exam arc....we see this a few more times in the movie, and it really drives home how killua is still rlly scared of illumi and kinda just goes into a dissociative trauma state whenever illumi is around (even fake doll illumi or dream illumi, in this movie). poor kid :( :( 

regrettably tho ruth and i agree that illumis outfit in this movie was pretty sexy 

ok that whole beginning part where kurapikas eyes get stolen happens SO fast hvbfhdjshfsk its like ok guess thats the status quo for this movie!

jesus poor kurapika. they cant catch a fuckgin break huh

also that kid was totally the kid that was alluded to by kurapika at the end of the yorknew arc...so i guess that was included in the anime as a setup for this movie? 

also apparently that stuff was based off of a short story thing the author did a while ago which is p cool

leorios terrible drawing skills is hvhbjsdfbsdfngsjkdf

also leorio is so tender w/kurapika hhhhhhh im gonna die. im gonna gay die

and gon and killua are just. tiny soulmate boyfriends ok 

ah yes i see the obligatory movie original character who befriends the protag

it kinda cracks me up how hostile killua is to retz like vhbhskhdfbaj i get that its bc of Trauma and his fear of betrayal/betraying but it also reads as killua being a Jealous Gay which is kinda hilarious 

ruth and i when hisoka shows up: [prolonged annoyed groaning and dismayed yelling]

hisoka literally just shows up to sow chaos and throw around information to stir shit up huh

of COURSE the villain is the former 4th spider thats like. easy choice lmao 

it might just be the fansubs but i feel like there were strong implications that hisoka and 4th spider guy fucked bhjdfashfdjnakn

the most unbelievable thing abt this whole thing is that hisoka didnt kill that doll guy lmao 

ohhh shit its uvo

OHHH SHIT NOBUNGA AND MACHI....its so bad but i really like the troupe members and when they show up im like !!!!!!!

machi is so cooooool

aughhhh its like....i feel bad for nobunga for having to face down uvo like this....and THEN when pakunoda shows up too :( and nobunga tells her doll ‘rest in peace now’ or something when he cuts her down....oof. but also like theyre evil murderers so im!?! conflicted?!?!

also the shadow beast guys that uvo killed showing up and then proceeding to do LITERALLY NOTHING was kinda hilarious

and damn so technically the troupe is on the same side as the main crew, what with all of them wanting to wreck omokages shit

also omokage looks like sephiroth lmaoooo 

ill be honest i barely know what sephiroth looks like but ruth said this and i felt in my bones that its true 

ok i gotta talk abt the kurapika backstory stuff bc OUUGHGHGHGHGH my fucking UWUS BITCH!!!!

seeing a bunch of kurta was sad....and seeing baby-er kurapika OUGH and also pairo is sooo cute and him and kurapikas friendship is so pure 

kurapika is so different :( theyre like, so much more innocent and excitable....thats so damn sad bro wtf 

pairo pulling some slick moves swapping that little potion thing - all while using his blindness as a cover - was so good...no wonder he and kurapika get along so well 

also gotta say its even more brutal that one of the main reasons kurapika didnt get Big Murdered w/the rest of the kurta is bc pairo pulled this stunt - if he hadnt, kurapika wouldve failed the test and never would have left 

also kurapika saying theyre gonna find someone who can help w/pairos eyes ;_; the similarities w/leorios backstory/motivation makes me die 

and seriously im still caught up at how innocent and pure kp is oooof ough 

tho still defs the kurapika we know....theyve seemingly always had a temper, what with the reaction to the dudes in the market 

like, kurapika did NOT hold back...even after finding out that they were just part of the test! tho i do get it bc they insulted pairo...kurapika’s love for their friends/stalwart need to defend their friends is clearly a big thing 

also the market people’s reaction to seeing kp’s red eyes is rlly interesting to me...are the kurta like, known to anybody? or are they more of a vaguely talked-about group that like, ‘probably exists’? or is it that people know abt them but not the red eyes thing? it seems like these people, if any, would know, bc this market is seemingly a day’s travel from where the kurta live....i want more kurta lore bro!!

i big love pairo helping kurapika cheat like that....such an interesting twist, and makes it obvious that theirs is a friendship of equals 

anyways i loved that flashback stuff and it just drives home how absolutely fucked up and horribly sad kurapikas whole existence is, especially in this movie w/pairo’s doll being used against them

n e ways back to the non flashback stuff

i love that gon’s super nose returned for this movie omg 

im just auhghghghgh gon and killua know each other so well uwu....

aaaand illumi (well, doll illumi) is back to fuck shit up for poor killua

ugh it still gets me how clearly terrified of illumi killua is...we dont really see him act like this any other time :( and the fact that doll-illumi was able to scare killua enough to get him to run away and leave gon behind (albeit briefly) was oof 

gon jumping in front of killua and getting his eyes stolen instead....baby boyyyy oughhh

also can i just say thank fuck they didnt replace illumis eyes w/gons bc THAT wouldve been some serious nightmare fuel lmao 

cant believe killua then ran away again and walked emo-ly on the train tracks 

and THEN he saw a train coming and was like oh well :( guess ill die :/ JESUS KID 

but gon w/his Big Sniff Powers comes to the rescue!!

it was so cute how gon told killua that killua didnt run and abandon him - they were working together to fight :’) gon understands killua so well 

i love how the squad then squads up to fight omokage...with half of them being blind lmao 

and in the half that isnt blind is leorio, who STILL doesnt know nen, and literally brings a knife to a nen fight 

i totally saw the whole ‘retz is a doll and her older brother is omokage, and retz actually died a while ago’ thing coming lol but still, not bad

all omokage does is talk abt the beauty of his dolls or w/e like ENOUGH bro 

kurapika fighting pairo and killua fighting illumi (AGAIN) was all so fucked up they shouldve switched opponents for less trauma oof 

and poor leorio is literally no help vhhvdijfhjbashkj he just gets throw around this whole time

kurapikas fight against pairo was sad bc it was such a fucked up situation...kp did gr8 tho, i liked them saying that this isnt the real pairo, cause pairo would never say/do these things. still and extremely sucky situation to be in! 

meanwhile its the gon and killua vs doll-illumi rematch...and this illumi is like, a version of illumi drawn from killuas mind/heart (or something idk, it was kinda glossed over which i understand), which means that hes extra scary and focused on telling killua how much hes just a mindless killing machine who cant have friends 

but luckily we have gon here to help snap killua out of his trauma haze, which certaintly wasnt the case at the hunter exam - so it was kinda nice to see how things went w/gon around :’) they work so well together oughhhhh....and they love each other so much broo gay preteen love real 

hisoka just fuckgin materializing in the house place to help sow more chaos....unbelievable 

me: i bet hisoka wont want to fight doll chrollo bc its not The Same as real chrollo 

ruth: no i think he will bc hes a whore 

hisoka: [fights doll chrollo] 

me: oh shit u right 

kurapika: ok omogake its time for you to FUCKING DIE- 

and then killua stops them and says that he’ll do it, be he doesnt want kurapika to kill anymore :( :( :( bro im sooo fucking sad. killua rlly b out here thinking that hes already too far gone to matter when it comes to murder, but he doesnt want his friends to end up like that, so he might as well take on that burden, because whats one more person’s death on his hands? (EVEN THO HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO KILL ANY MORE...but theres exceptions when it comes to saving your friend’s souls and whatnot) :( :( AUGHHH

but luckily retz comes THRU with some good ole fratricide

killua: [takes notes]

the fact that the phantom troupe just fuckgin shows up and is like oh hey its you guys. this casual enemy stuff kills me lmao i love it 

then they just fuckgin LEAVE and theyre like welllll we cant rlly fight u bc of chrollo’s state so by i guess. its NOT On Sight but someday it will be! YOU TOO HISOKA DONT THINK WE FUCKIGN FORGOT ABOUT YOU. 

dramatic house burning! and rip retz, saw that one comin tho 

when they all went thru and said their life goals and then killua was like shit i dont have a cool definitive anime goal LMAOOOO

but THEN gon said his goals should be to stay by gon’s side UHMMM???? baby gays AUGHHHHH and killua is just like lovestruck AUGHHHH 

Gays Win 

then they all peace out to resume the next arc lmaoooo

and then we see flashes of other characters, like the blonde girl (who ruth and i totally thought retz was, seeing thumbnails from this movie....we were like w8 hasnt that girl not been introduced yet??? lmao)

we also see some dude w/long hair and a hat who ive never seen before but ruth went OHHH ITS SCYTHE GUY!!! so i guess hes gonna b important?? lol 

and then we saw chrollo....still in the same place the squad left him vbhajfdjkahsbfkdjabhsukfdj CAN HE NOT GET DOWN FROM THERE W/OUT NEN OR AN AIRSHIP??? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY ARE YOU KIDDING ME 

general thots:

so this was very much an Anime Movie, in that they cant like, advance to plot or develop the characters much, bc its a movie. and this one is non canon

it was enjoyable but i do feel like it was much more typical shounen then hxh usually is...like, i feel like this was made by the same people who make like, the naruto movies or w/e, and w/the same sort of approach/attitude 

this isnt necessarily bad - i LIKE shounen for a reason - but it was a bit noticeable bc it wasnt quite as smart as hxh is usually, and it rehashed a lot of stuff weve already seen in this show itself 

but still i think it did a good job w/what it had, and it had some good angst, and everyone was very gay which is good

the art style was SLIGHTLY wack but it wasnt as bad as i thought itd be 

overall a fun time like most anime movies. didnt reinvent the wheel but i had a good time. im excited for the greed island arc, and im also disproportionately excited to watch the hxh musical bc that is a thing that exists and i MUST see it asap bc that sounds like the kind of hilarious wackiness that appeals to me specifically

so thats it...later!