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hbyrde36 · 9 months ago

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It's Only Forever

R: Mature | WC: 5775 | | Ch 4/8 | Read on AO3

[Penny Art Link] [SissayeRys Art Link]

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3

Chapter 4: Within You

Tick, tock.

“I can’t believe I thought for even a second that I could trust you,” Steve hissed through his teeth as he and Robin ran hand in hand, pulling each other along. But no matter how fast they went the unusual locomotive continued to gain on them, and each time Steve looked back it was closer than the last.

It took up the entire width and height of the tunnel it plowed through, and looked a bit like a giant bullet, with long metal barbs and forks that spun like the blades of a garbage disposal around a long central spike.

“Do you really… wanna talk… about this now?” Robin huffed and puffed, already panting and out of breath.

“Well, it’s now or never. Since we’re going to be dead soon and all.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, we’re not going to die.”

The tunnel curved hard to the left, and when he and Robin skidded around the next corner Steve knew right away they had a big problem. Maybe a dozen or so yards ahead there was a set of barred gates cutting off their path. Even from this far off Steve could see they were chained together, held closed by a thick iron lock.

He shot Robin a hard sideways glare. “You were saying?”

With no other options, Steve kept them going full speed ahead, reaching the gates in no time at all. He and Robin both tugged on the chains, pushed and pulled at each of the bars and the wood frame looking for weaknesses but it was no use.

Steve stepped back with a frustrated growl, raking his hands roughly through his hair as he cast his eyes around, wracking his brain for a new plan—any plan, really. The situation looked pretty hopeless on the face of it. They were trapped in a tunnel with no way forward, and the only way back was blocked by a nightmare death machine that was even now careening straight for them.

But, as Steve had to keep reminding himself, things never were quite as they seemed in the Labyrinth, and he refused to give up.

Yes, it appeared that the sides of the tunnel were built of unbreakable solid masonry, but as he examined the tunnel wall closer there was a portion of it that was decidedly different—bowed near the ceiling like an archway, and not made from brick and mortar, though the color was a perfect match, but something smoother, lighter, as though an old opening had been hastily covered over with wood and plaster.

Steve raised his knee to his chest, kicking out at the odd section of wall with the sole of his foot. The blow landed with a hollow thump, a bit of the material crumbling away at the edges where patchwork met brick.

“Over here, quick!” He shouted to Robin, and backed himself up as far as he could before rushing forward, ramming the wall with his shoulder this time.

She quickly caught on, adding her shoulder to his on the next go, and they slammed into it together—two, three more times—until with a final crack the wall gave way, breaking into pieces that fell into the newly uncovered room.

Steve stumbled inside, his own momentum carrying him over the rubble-filled threshold, while Robin fell flat on her face, tripping over a large chunk of the fallen wall.

The cleaners had to be right on top of them, and Robin was still half in the tunnel. Heart pounding, Steve threw himself to the ground and lunged for her, grabbing onto her forearms as she gripped him back, pulling her to safety only milliseconds before the insane machine that had been chasing them would have run her over.

They heard the crash a moment later as the thing undoubtedly ran into the set of locked gates, the snapping of wood and crunching of metal a telling sign that the blockade had barely slowed it down, and Steve shuddered to think what would have happened if they hadn’t found a way out.

As the chugging sounds began to fade into the distance, they both rose to their feet, brushing dust from their clothes, and began to examine the new space.

“Oh, look!” Robin said, all cheerful and happy as could be, as if she hadn’t almost lost her legs to a motorized torture device. “There’s a ladder. Perfect, follow me.”

She waved her hand and set off for a dark corner of the room, where Steve could just barely see the wooden death trap masquerading as a ladder that she’d spotted, clearly expecting him to follow.

He did, but he wasn’t happy about it.

“How am I supposed to trust you now that I know you were working for him? You were taking me back to the beginning all along!”

“I was not,” she groaned as she reached the ladder, grasping it with both hands and giving it a good rattle as if testing it for strength. “I only said all that to throw him off the scent.”

Steve frowned at her back, folding his arms tightly over his chest.

Because he was angry, for the record, and not at all to hide the fact that he was suddenly shaking with fright.

“You expect me to believe that?”

Robin stepped up onto the first rung, jumping on it with all her weight. It held, and she turned to look back at him with a smile. “It would be fair if you didn’t, but really—what other choice do you have?”

Well, she had him there.

“Fine, but uh, is there any other way out of here besides… y'know.” Steve swallowed hard as he pointed up the length of the ladder. He couldn’t even see the top of it, at a certain point the rungs basically disappeared. It would be like climbing up into darkness itself.

“We are underground, Steve. Up is sorta the only way to go.”

“And how—um—how high does it go?” Steve squeaked, not quite able to keep the fear out of his voice.

“Hey.” Robin’s face softened, and she let go of the ladder with one hand to gently pat his arm. “It's a very sturdy ladder, I promise. And I'll go first so you know it’s safe, okay?”

Steve shook his head vigorously. “I don’t—I don’t like heights.”

“That’s okay! It's fine. You’re fine,” she babbled. “Just keep moving, keep your eyes on me, and don’t look down. We’ll be on the surface before you know it.”

“Okay,” he wheezed.

“And breathe.”

“Right.”

Robin began to climb slowly, and though it went against every ounce of self preservation in Steve’s body, he ascended after her. Hand—foot—hand—foot. He was barely off the ground yet his legs trembled, and a cold sweat began forming on his brow.

He needed a distraction, now.

“Why do you take orders from him?” Steve asked.

“Who? Eddie?”

He sighed heavily, squeezing the next rung so tightly in his fist that the wood creaked. “Who else would I be talking about?”

“No need to be rude,” she mumbled. “That’s simple. He's the Goblin King. Eddie might be new… ish, but he still scares me.”

“New?”

“Yeah. You didn't think he was the first Goblin King to ever rule the Labyrinth, did you?”

Steve hadn’t really thought about it at all. He was here for one reason, and one reason only—to bring Dustin home. He didn’t really know anything about this place, or Eddie, but suddenly he couldn’t help wondering how old the other boy really was. Eddie looked young, not much older than Steve himself but he’d assumed that was all part of the show or something, that beneath the transcendent beauty lay something that much more resembled the goblins he was named for, or that he was some kind of ancient but also somehow ageless mythical being.

If Eddie really was new to being king, then what, or who, was he before?

Steve gave a little shake of his head, willing those thoughts away. He was on a mission, and It’s not like any of it mattered anyway, no matter how curious he was.

“So, what’s the big deal about this bog he threatened you with. Doesn't sound like that big a deal to me.”

Robin actually faltered in her progress at that, a shiver going up her spine before she began climbing again. “You wouldn’t be so brave if you knew the damage it could do. I walked near it once and let me tell you, the frizz was indescribable. I looked like a monster for weeks, Harrington. Weeks!”

“Is that all?” He snorted. “Are you really that scared of a little humidity?”

“Believe me, the humidity is a killer. If you so much as dip a toe in the bog of bad hair days, it’ll ruin you forever. You’ll be cursed with unmanageable locks for the rest of your life.”

“You sound insane right now, you do realize that,” Steve said, and bravely let go of the ladder with one of his hands to poke her in the back of the ankle.

Robin scowled down at him between her legs. “We’re talking irreparable damage here. I’d think with hair like that you’d be a little more concerned.”

Steve chuckled, marveling a little at the fact that he was smiling with his feet this far off the ground. “I’m only saying, it doesn’t sound near as bad as everything else I've encountered in this insane asylum.”

“Let’s hope you never have to find out how wrong you are.”

It wasn’t long before they finally reached the top. There were a few tense seconds there where Robin seemed to struggle with whatever hatch or trap door was set into the ceiling, but thankfully she got it before Steve could work himself into a full on panic. After a loud scrape and the distinct sound of ceramics shattering, sunlight spilled in through a round hole, so warm where it touched Steve's face. Robin hoisted herself up and out, and he followed hastily behind her, hurling himself over the edge of…

A giant clay pot. Jar? Vase—thing.

“How—” Steve swung his legs over the edge of the oversized clay vessel, dropping down into a crouch on the stone tiled courtyard below. The pot—it had a lid so he’d settled on pot, for sanity’s sake—sat on a low table with four legs, and yup, sure enough, he could see right under it to Robin’s feet on the other side.

What in the Mary Poppins bag of bullshit was this?

His physics teacher would have had a stroke.

“Well!” Robin exclaimed with a loud clap. “I’d say it’s been a pleasure, but I think we both know that would be a lie.”

“Where are you going?” Steve straightened, rounding the pot as Robin began slowly backing away from him, her eyes darting from side to side.

“I said I'd take you as far as I could, and this is it,” she said.

“You’ve hardly taken me anywhere!”

“Ah, ah, ah.” She held up a hand. “I got you out of the oubliette and I got you topside. I’ve fulfilled my end of the bargain and then some.”

‘But I thought—” Steve snapped his mouth shut mid-sentence, cutting himself off. What had he thought, exactly? That maybe Robin really was on his side? That they were friends now because they’d narrowly escaped death together a few times?

“Forget it,” he mumbled and turned away from her. If she wanted to leave, fine. There was nothing he could do about it, best to just move on alone and figure out which way to go next.

Steve ignored the pang in his chest and began to check out his surroundings.

The courtyard they’d come out in was flanked on three sides by hedges, with openings to the north, east, and west. He crossed to the nearest wall of greenery and stood on his tiptoes, peering out over the top in hopes he’d get a glimpse of the castle and be able to get his bearings.

There to the west he saw it, still far off but getting closer, sitting high above the rest of the Labyrinth, the castle beyond the Goblin City.

He went first for the westward gap, but thought better of it almost instantly—too easy—and quickly pivoted for the opposite opening.

Soft footsteps followed him through and into the hedge maze. Robin, for all her talk of being done, was keeping pace behind him.

“Thanks, by the way,” she said when he didn’t acknowledge her.

He bristled, keeping his eyes forward. “For what?”

“For saving me. Pulling me out of the way of the cleaners down there.”

Steve shrugged, letting his foot scrape along the stone floor as he kicked a rock out of his path. “Anyone would have done the same.”

“No, Steve, they wouldn’t. You—you’re a good guy.”

He hummed noncommittally, but slowed his pace till they were walking side-by-side.

“What was it you were going to say before?” She asked, falling in step with him.

“It’s stupid.”

“Tell me anyway?”

Steve hung his head and stopped, turning to face her. “I just—I thought we were friends, or becoming friends, anyway.”

“F-r-i-e-n-d-s,” Robin said, trying the word around her mouth and tongue like it was a new outfit. “I like that. I’ve never been somebody’s friend before.”

She grinned, and it was impossible not to smile back, but their happy moment was interrupted suddenly by a loud roar and the sounds of a struggle nearby .

Robin’s eyes went almost comically wide. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Come on, It can't be any worse than what we’ve faced already.” Steve tried to reach for her hand, but another terrifying snarl had her stepping back out of reach, her face gone white as a sheet.

“Robin, are you my friend or not?” Steve asked.

Her eyes jumped nervously back and forth between his face and the path behind him, until a third outburst came, louder than ever, that seemed to echo all around them.

“Not!” She shouted, shuffling backwards so quickly she almost fell. “Sorry, but I'm out of here.”

“Robin, wait!”

She turned to run back the way they came, but paused briefly before ducking from sight. “Not everyone’s got a self-sacrificial streak, Steve. I told you. You’re a good guy,”

“Damnit,” Steve cursed.

He thought about going after her, but what would be the point? And whatever was going on up ahead was still happening, the sounds becoming more painfilled and pitiful as it went on. Whoever was making them was in trouble, and Steve had to check it out.

Rounding the next turn, he hesitantly approached a vine covered arbor sandwiched between two of the solid hedge walls, spotting movement through the leaves and branches. He peeked his head carefully around the side of the archway, which opened out into another small courtyard and finally got a good look at what he was dealing with.

It was a giant creature, like nothing Steve had ever seen unless you count those blurry images of bigfoot that have been circulating since the early 1900’s. Taller than a man, with sharp looking teeth and curved horns sticking out from either side of his head. His body was covered top to toe in long shiny, silky black hair. He would have been a terrifying sight to encounter walking around, but as it was, he was strung up by his ankle, hanging from a thick tree branch, and groaning in pain while being poked mercilessly by a half a dozen tiny captors wielding long pointed sticks.

Goblins, Steve guessed, dressed like foot soldiers complete with ratty old armor and helmets that were far too big for their heads. So much so that he couldn’t see their faces, but could hear their odd high pitched giggles as they tormented the poor beast.

“If only I had something to throw,” Steve whispered softly to himself, and began sweeping the area around him with his eyes, when a large rock about the size of his fist came rolling towards him of its own accord.

He didn't even question it. He picked up the rock and hurled it as hard as he could at the closest goblin’s head, before ducking back around the hedge and out of sight.

All the goblins began shouting at once, accusing each other of treason. Which did manage to get their attention off of the big guy they had hanging upside down, but instead of leaving they stood around arguing.

Another rock found its way to Steve’s feet and again he took it up, throwing it into the middle of the fray. That one managed to hit two of the goblins at once, bouncing off one’s helmet only to ping another standing right next to him.

“We’re under attack!” The first one shouted.

The largest of the six spun in a circle, but didn’t seem to notice Steve in his hiding spot. Though, to be fair, it must have been hard to see anything with those helmets practically covering their entire faces. “They’re everywhere!” He hollered.

“Retreat!” Another one bellowed, shaking his spear over his head. “Retreat!”

All at once the group of little soldiers ran from the area screaming, and finally Steve could step out into the courtyard and see what he could do about the long-haired creature's plight.

The horned figure snarled and growled as Steve got closer, twisting his body, trying to shrink away as best he could while Steve examined the ropes he was tied with.

Sharp teeth snapped a little too close for comfort, and Steve took a small step back, holding his hands up in front of him. “I’m only trying to help, I swear. Don’t you wanna get down?”

“Oh. Yeah, man. That would be pretty sweet.” The creature said, in an accent strangely reminiscent of Steve's cousin from California.

“Wait, you can talk?!” Steve was taken aback for a second before rolling his eyes at himself. “Nevermind, of course you can talk.”

He followed the rope with his eyes and fingers, from where it wrapped around the creature's ankle all the way to where it was tied to a system of bulbous roots, and began tugging on the knots to loosen them.

It worked. A little too well, in fact. The knot came apart almost as soon as he touched it. Steve tried to grab for the end of the rope to slow the beast's descent but he wasn’t quick enough, and the big guy went crashing unceremoniously to the ground.

Steve rushed to his side. “Oh my god, I'm sorry. Are you alright?”

The creature jumped to his feet, a smile spreading across his wide mouth, looking none the worse for wear. “Thanks, brochacho! You’re a real lifesaver!”

“Brochacho?”

“Yeah, y’know. Bro–cha–cho? Buddy, pal, friend? I’m Argyle, by the way.”

“Right, uh. You’re welcome. I’m Steve.” For reasons unknown, Steve held his hand out to shake. Habit maybe, or something ingrained in him to do after introducing himself, a way to reclaim some sense of normalcy after all the weird shit, or garden variety idiocy after a very long day.

Still smiling, Argyle looked down at the offered hand curiously for a moment before slapping it with his own in a surprisingly gentle low five. “Steeeeeve. Steve, Steve, Steve. I like that. You have pretty hair, Steve.”

“Oh, um, thanks.” Steve patted absently at his hair, which realistically had to be a mess at this point.“You—you too, man.”

Argyle combed his thick fingers through the long hair that fell like a curtain around his head, continuing straight down the slightly shorter hair of his chest and arms, fluffing it a bit to add volume. “I know, it’s bodacious, right?”

“Very that, yes. Whatever you just said.” Steve nodded emphatically. “ Listen, Argyle, can I ask you something?””

“Shoot, my dude! I kinda owe you my life, so if there's anything I can do to repay you, I’m game.”

“I have to get to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth. Do you happen to know the way?”

Argyle hummed, screwing his face up as he rubbed at his chin. He looked up into the sky, and down at the ground with furrowed brows, and even scented the air at one point with a very serious look in his eyes, but after a few short moments he let out a sad whine, dropping his shoulders.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m not very good with directions.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Steve couldn’t be mad. He hadn’t had high hopes to begin with and the guy seemed genuinely bummed out that he couldn’t help. It wasn’t Argyle’s fault. Steve also, against all reason, missed Robin’s companionship already, and figured taking his frustrations out on one of the kindest creatures he’d encountered so far wouldn’t gain him anything. “Thank you for trying. We—we could still hang out, if you like? You could tag along with me.”

Before he could even feel silly for asking, Argyle lit up like a Christmas tree. “Really?!”

“Really.” Steve chuckled, rising on tip toes again to clap him on the back. “Okay, let’s see. Which way—” He swiveled on the spot, frowning as he noticed for the first time that the other end of the courtyard, where the goblins had fled, was closed off now, walls having sprouted up where they weren’t before while he’d been busy freeing Argyle.

The archway he’d come through was still present and intact, but that would only take them back where Steve came from. Just beyond that though, was now a pair of doors that had for sure been a wall before.

Not this again.

Steve sighed heavily, stepping forward to examine them, with Argyle following close behind. He couldn't even summon the energy to be surprised.

Naturally they reminded him of the last set of doors he’d faced, and he felt his stomach turn sour at the too-soon reminder of dropping down into the underground. These doors were a bit smaller though, with no guards, and nothing to distinguish them from each other except for their big tacky brass knockers made to look like silly faces. One boasted a giant bulbous nose, its striker a huge ring that was settled in its mouth. The other had a pinched face, like a pug that had smelled something rotten, and humongous elephant ears that held his corresponding ring striker.

“It’s very rude to stare!” The big-eared knocker on the left shouted in a horrible monotone.

Steve winced at the deafening volume. “Sorry.”

“What?!” It yelled.

“I said—”

The knocker on the right began to mumble, cutting him off. “Mm hmm mm m m hrm grph!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full!” Ears yelled to his counterpart.

“Hmmmph mmmhm mhhh hrmph.”

“Hold on,” Steve grumbled, approaching the knocker with the honker, who had a ring stuck in his mouth. “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

With a hard tug and a loud pop, he yanked the brass ring from between the knocker’s lips, handing it off to Argyle—who stuck it right in his own mouth as if he needed to see what all the fuss was about.

“Thank you, young man. As I was saying, it’s no good talking to him, he can’t hear a thing.”

“Where do these doors lead anyway?” Steve asked, running his hands along the upper edges of each door frame in turn.

“What?!” Ears shouted again.

Steve met the other knocker’s gaze, and they both rolled their eyes at once.

“Hell if I know,” the honker answered. “I'm just a knocker. Never seen the other side.”

Only one way to find out then.

Steve looked down, intending to grab for a handle or latch but found no hardware, only solid wood along the whole length of the door. “How do I get through?” He asked.

“Knock, and the door will open,” Honker said with a dramatic flair.

“Oh, I get it.” Steve turned to Argyle, still sucking on the brass ring like it was a lollipop, and held out his hand for it. Argyle passed it over, if a bit reluctantly.

“No! I don’t want that thing back in my mouth.”

Steve could have tried the other door, but he had a good feeling about this one. “But I wanna knock.”

Honker clamped his lips shut tight, huffing and puffing air through his ridiculous nose while he hummed no, over and over again.

If Steve could just get the guy to open his mouth long enough.

Ah ha!

Struck with an idea Steve reached up suddenly, pinching the knocker's nose shut with one hand, while holding the ring close to his mouth with the other. Honker made a valiant effort, but soon enough he was forced to breathe through his mouth and it was all too easy for Steve to slide the ring back where it belonged.

The knocker groaned.

“Sorry,” Steve said, tapping the ring against the strike plate twice and waited to see what would happen.

“‘S o’thay ‘m uthe to It,” Honker said as the door finally swung open.

It was dark on the other side of the threshold, but the gentle sounds of a forest lay beyond—chirps and hoots, rustling leaves, and wind wafting through trees.

What Steve could see of the ground looked solid enough, so he stepped through, glancing back over his shoulder at Argyle when he realized the creature hadn’t moved. And it didn’t matter that he was the biggest thing in the Labyrinth, he looked so scared, even more nervous than Steve himself. Steve offered his hand, gripping reassuringly to Argyle’s own baseball glove sized mitt when he offered it in return, and led the way into the forest.

It was a nice change to be surrounded by thick tree trunks for once instead of high imposing walls, but there was something unsettling about the woods they walked through that Steve just couldn’t quite put his finger on. He wore a brave face for Argyle, who seemed wary of every little bug and sound.

“It’s okay. There's nothing to be afraid of, it’s just a—”

With a loud gasp and a hint of growl, Argyle’s hand fell away, and Steve had never eaten his words so quickly. He whirled, looking up and down, but the big guy was nowhere in sight. It was like he’d vanished into thin air

“Argyle?!” Steve cried out. “Argyle!”

Shit.

Steve was a walking fucking disaster area.

He’d brought the poor guy in here to this freaky forest, and lost him before they’d walked more than a few feet! Had he been swallowed up by the trees?

Wherever he was, Argyle must be terrified, and what if he was hurt? Steve had to find him and make sure he was okay, and there was only one person he could think of—that he was willing to call, anyway—that might be able to help. He could only hope she was within hearing distance.

“Robin!” Steve cupped his hands around his mouth to make sure his voice carried as far as possible. “Robin, if you’re out there I could really use your help!”

He paused, hoping—praying for a response.

“Robin! Help!”

Eddie sat up high on a long stretch of wall overlooking the outer edge of the hedge maze, hidden from sight while he watched Steve and Robin bicker as they moved through one of its many courtyards.

Far from leading him back to the beginning, not that he’d believed her story anyhow, that damned half-dwarf now had Steve poised as close to the castle and reclaiming his little brother as he’d ever been.

Thankfully Eddie had a new trick up his sleeve in the form of a freshly bespelled piece of fruit that would take care of everything. Now he just needed to get Robin alone and convince her to pass it along.

No sooner did he have the thought then a bellowing roar echoed through the air, wrenching his attention away from Steve—and Robin—to scope out the source of the noise.

Until that moment, Eddie had thought he knew all the creatures of the Labyrinth, but it seemed he’d missed at least one. Never before had he seen the poor beast currently being surrounded by a handful of his own goblins, herding it right into a primitive snare trap not far from where Steve and Robin were headed.

Eddie seethed, this was exactly the type of behavior he’d love to put a stop to if he could.

Come to think of it, why couldn’t he? He was the king, after all. There were rules, yeah, and maybe he didn’t fully understand the scope of them, but surely he could banish outright cruelty from his kingdom. The goblins could find some other way to spend their spare time.

He made a mental note to ask Chrissy to look into it for him once their current situation was settled.

Eddie swung his gaze back to his original targets, and found Robin running back the way she and Steve had come, leaving Steve himself alone again, walking resolutely towards the sound of snarls rather than away, a concerned tilt to his brow.

Interest piqued, Eddie itched to move closer, but was too worried about being seen. He couldn’t face the other boy again. Not right now, not before he got his shit together, otherwise he might not be able to do what needed to be done. Instead he watched from afar, impressed, not that he’d ever admit it aloud, with the way Steve dispatched with the little goblins so easily and rescued a creature which by all rights should have terrified him.

But Steve was… brave, and sweet.

Eddie couldn’t quite hear what was being said but he could see their smiles, and even grinned himself, letting out a snort when Steve tried to shake hands with the gentle giant.

His stomach swooped, but he forced a frown.

So Steve could be kind. Even when it didn’t further his own agenda—because it was clear the beast didn’t have any helpful insights about the layout of the Labyrinth.

So what.

It didn’t… it didn’t matter, Eddie couldn’t let it matter.

With a low growl in his throat he threw himself off the wall, landing softly and gracefully to the tile below, something the scrawny uncoordinated Eddie Munson of yore could never have dreamed of doing without hurting himself, and set off in the general direction Robin had been headed, absently patting the amulet that hung from his neck in thanks.

He wandered past wall after wall of greenery, finally making it through to the outskirts of the Upside Down Forest, weaving his way between large boulders and brittle barren trees when he finally spotted Robin.

He could have used the crystal balls to find her, been at her side instantly to get this over with, but he’d needed to walk a little, to get Chrissy’s words out of his head and try to ground himself.

He watched her, following closely behind as he kept out of sight, waiting for the perfect moment to step out into the open, when suddenly Steve's voice wafted in on a cool breeze.

“Robin!”

Robin gasped, tripping over her own feet as she came to a screeching halt, a sound Eddie echoed softly from his own hiding place.

“Robin! Help!”

“I’m coming, Steve,” she mumbled to herself, turning to bolt in the direction his voice had come from.

Eddie had to stop her, and chose that moment to step out of his hiding place and right into her path, pitching his voice low. “And where do you think you’re going?”

Robin skidded to yet another sudden stop in front of him, her eyes wide, and her mouth popping open in a little oh of surprise.“Uh, well, me and Steve—we got separated, you see, but I heard him yelling just now. So I was heading off to lead him back to the beginning like I said I would. Just trying to do my duty, Eddie—Sir.” She finished up with an awkward little half bow and took two large steps back and away from him.

“I see.” Eddie leaned his hip against a nearby boulder, crossing his arms over his chest. “For a second there I thought you were running off to do something crazy, like… oh, I don’t know, help a pathetic human after your king explicitly told you not to?”

“Me? Help him?” Robin forced a horribly fake laugh. It rang out high pitched and nervous. “Of course not! That would be—That would be really stupid of me.”

“Quite,” Eddie agreed.

“Anyway, I should get going so I can continue with the plan.” Robin saluted him, in a move even more awkward than the bow had been, and took another half-step away.

“Wait.”

She froze.

“Forget leading Steve back to the beginning, I have something else in mind now.” Eddie unfolded his arms, not missing the way Robin flinched when he reached into his pocket. The reaction made him a little queasy, but he quickly swallowed the feeling down.

“Give him this,” he said, gently tossing the ripe baseball-sized fruit to her.

“What is it?” Robin caught it with both hands, holding the pink and yellow hunk up near her face.

“What does it look like?”

“A peach?”

“So it is.” Eddie smirked. The irony of a fat juicy peach being the catalyst for what would eventually lead to his victory over Steve, the boy with the most biteable ass he’d ever seen, wasn’t lost on him.

“It won’t… hurt him, will it?” She asked.

Hurt him? What kind of monster did she think he was? Eddie grit his teeth. Maybe he was playing his part a little too well, but he wasn’t about to stop now.

“I’m surprised at you, Robin. losing your head over a boy,” he teased. “I didn’t think he was your type.”

Robin scrunched up her nose in disgust. “He’s not. It’s not like that, it’s just—”

Eddie snorted. “Do you really think he would want anything to do with you if he wasn’t stuck in this mess?”

“W-well, he said we were—”

“What? Friends?! Get real. People like him don’t go for creatures like us!” Eddie shouted, loud enough to make himself wince. “You… I mean you.”

Robin tilted her head, studying his face a little too closely for comfort. “Are you alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?!” He snapped loudly.

“I—”

“Forget it. You just worry about giving him that peach. Fail me, and I’ll banish you to the bog so fast it’ll make your frizzy little head spin.”

Chapter 5: Chilly Down

Permanent taglist(open): @penny00dreadful @pearynice @hitlikehammers @bookworm0690 @wonderland-girl143-blog

@goodolefashionedloverboi @themagicalari @awkwardgravity1 @rocknrollsalad

Fic taglist(open): @strangererotica @paintsplatteredandimperfect @xegany @devondespresso @3vilpurpl3d0t

@ravenfrog

Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!

#steddie fanfic #labyrinth au #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things #steve x eddie #steve harrington/eddie munson #steddie fic #robin buckley #it's only forever #steddiebang24 #steddie big bang

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blueiscoool · 1 year ago

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Lost and Found: Bottle Hunter Digs Extraordinary Farmland Treasures

Tom Askjem is a time traveler. Every May to November, he disappears into the bowels of the earth, descends to depths of 13’-plus, and returns to the surface with treasure—bottles and glassware from farming’s past.

After 1,800 pits and hundreds of thousands of relics, Askjem is equal parts archeologist, thrill seeker, and mole. Muscle on dirt, the North Dakota farm boy has turned an addiction into a career, multiple books, and a captivating YouTube channel with millions of views. However, Askjem seeks more than glass.

“I’m digging for adventure, history, and love,” he says. The past is in these holes and there are countless numbers of them across farmland.”

Time to hunt with a master.

The Infection

On the flats of extreme eastern North Dakota’s Traill County, Askjem, 32, prepares for a dig trip. “No mountains and no hills in the Red River Valley,” he describes. “You can see your dog run away for days. The land is mostly featureless, other than a few big cottonwoods and shelter belts where farms used to be.”

A mop of blonde hair sits atop a 6’-tall, lanky frame as Askjem saddles his pony—a Honda Civic. At the current mileage rate, the Civic will be junkyard fodder before it has a scratch: 60,000 backroad miles added to the odometer in the past six months.

Askjem piles layers of gear into the trunk, including three of each tool for insurance: shovels, pronged garden forks, trampoline pads, probe rods, buckets, plastic scoopers, trowels, tents, sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, air mattresses, clothes, and waterproof, Redwing leather work boots.

“It never gets old,” he says, wearing a wide grin. “I caught the infection when I was a kid.”

Digging Bodies

Pushed from the Grand Forks area by the historic Red River flood of 1997, Askjem moved to a farm outside Buxton at six years young. The main property was an 1878 homestead—a progression from sod house to log cabin to the present standing 1898 farmhouse decked in Victorian-era woodwork and hardware.

Surrounded by history, including the skeletons of old wagons and rusting machinery, Askjem explored a 5-acre patch of woods on the property, and chanced on a garbage dump: pop bottles and trash.

Askjem dug.

“I went deep and found stuff going back to 1898. When you’re a kid living in the country, there��s no going down the street and there’s no hanging with friends to play video games—you make your own adventure. I started hitting up all the farmers I could find for leads.”

Behind the wheel of a rattling go-cart, Askjem sought Buxton old-timers and collected tips on abandoned houses. “They all helped me,” he says. “Nobody cared where I hunted because I was just a little kid exploring for all the right reasons.”

“I’ve still got an elementary school journal with an assignment describing my weekend,” he adds. “I wrote, ‘Me and Mom dug up old bodies.’ The teacher marked my paper out of concern,” Askjem describes, with an easy, deep chuckle. “I meant to spell bottles, not bodies. But it shows I was truly hooked.”

Indeed. Wonderfully hooked.

Soft Landing

Why are bottles buried under farmland and old house sites?

Prior to plastic and synthetics, glassware held everything: medicine, hygiene products, alcohol, soda, and beyond. Glass was it.

Additionally, prior to waste disposal services, homeowners discarded trash on-site—in back yard outhouses, trash depressions, burn pits, and wells or cisterns. In short time, the various ground receptacle spots were filled and forgotten.

“Let’s say, for example, a family moved in around 1880,” Askjem explains. “That site likely has two or three outhouse locations prior to World War l. The outhouse spots filled up at a rate according to family size. I dug one farmhouse site that had six outhouses in a 10-year span. Folks went into the outhouses and threw away bottles: medicine, opiates, beer, whiskey. It was convenient and private, and had a soft landing, and got covered quickly. Even now, the bottles often are still preserved.”

“Generally, these houses also had a burn pit and/or dump pit. In the early days, they burned all trash in the stove for heat. Also, homestead bucket wells were filled up with trash and bottles once they were replaced by pump wells. Cisterns also were eventually filled up, but most of those are associated with houses in town.”

And the sites remain, he emphasizes, hiding intact relics beyond the reach of farm machinery or tillage equipment.

X Marks the Spot

Location. Location. Location. Other than a tip or invitation, how does Askjem find dig sites?

X marks the spot, at least in the county courthouse or public library. He spends winters poring over early property transaction documents. “I look at lot sales. If several lots sold for $100 each in 1880, but one sold for $1,000 in 1885, the price climb tells the story and likely represents a building location.”

“I also read old newspaper archives, looking for hotel or business advertisements,” Askjem continues. “Then I can look up the proprietor’s name and keep tightening the scope, narrowing down the exact building location.”

“Every single house is different, but generally, in the countryside, outhouses were 30 paces out the back door. In the city, where most lots were 140’ long, outhouses could be as close as 5-10 paces.”

Confident of a site’s potential, Askjem first asks for permission to dig from the landowner. “Property owners are always so kind to me and I don’t hide anything I find. They’re curious about what is in the ground, just like anybody else.”

Second, he grids out the site. “I put down markers 2 paces apart, maybe 20 paces long. I push probe rods into ground and feel for compaction differences. Depending on the location, I’ll call in and have utility lines marked out for power and gas.”

Decked in Levi’s and a tank-top, it’s time to tunnel.

Claustrophobic Comfort

Shovel in hand, Askjem descends into a layer cake of dirt: black topsoil to brown-colored clay to telltale ash to a use layer containing treasure.

“Generally, I go deep to find old items in quantity. The earliest bottles were used to the last drop by farmers and thrown out empty. Therefore, when they froze in brutal Dakota winters, the glass didn’t break from liquid expansion.”

As Askjem extracts glass vessels from the dirt and grime, his encyclopedic knowledge registers with each find. He recognizes the type, manufacturer, and age. Ink bottles, hygiene bottles, medicine bottles, beer bottles, soda bottles—and far more spill from the holes.

“I find patented medicine bottles across the country, but my favorite are soda bottles because they are unique to their locale and have character. The old soda bottles are usually marked with the bottler and town name because they were returnable.”

The outhouse pits are typically 6’-deep at home sites, with an average size of 6’-by-4’-by-3’. “I’ve dug ghost towns, dug saloons, train depots, and pool halls that were 12’ long, 4’ wide, and 8’ deep. I remember a hotel pit that was 20’-by-20’ and 8’ deep. There was a military fort with pits behind the barracks that was 12’ long, 4’ wide, and 13.5’ deep: That was a week’s worth of digging.”

Askjem’s subterranean realm provides no comfort to the claustrophobic. At 8’-9’, he braces the holes with woodwork. “I’m in a solid clay base that doesn’t cave, but I have a healthy respect for the ground’s limitation. Sometimes, it looks like I’m digging a rabbit hole.”

Preserved in nature’s freezer, the artifacts unearthed by Askjem often are in phenomenal condition.

“Pieces of newspaper can still be read; bottle labels are legible; white lime used in decomposition is visible; and undigested seeds are everywhere. Even 120-year-old human waste sometimes is perfectly preserved and still smells like hell. I wear a hydrogen sulfide respirator in those cases.”

“It’s all there; almost like it was dropped yesterday.”

Ghosts in the Ground

In 2022, Askjem began chronicling his digs via a YouTube channel, Below the Plains, and soon captured millions of views. At two posts per week, he gins footage at a steady rate to feed the algorithm, a tough task considering the ground in his geography is frozen from mid-November to mid-May.

Additionally, Askjem has written two in-depth books (Nebraska Soda Bottles 1865-1930 and A History of North Dakota Bottling Operations 1879-1930) and has more on the way. “I put the bottle prices in the books because they can sell for a whole lot and I always tell the landowners. Listing prices draw criticism, but that’s important to me because it helps preserve the item, and preservation of history is what drives me.”

Covered in dust or mud at the end of each day in digging season, Askjem is highly respectful of what he finds—almost reverent after 1,800 digs. “I appreciate everything I uncover because it represents a part of someone’s daily life and existence. There’s nothing wrong with coveting bottles, but I’m really in those holes for the moment of discovery.”

Even when not digging, Askjem is on the move, surfing on the coasts or river diving for lost cargo. In the decades to come, will he continue burrowing into the past? “Twenty years from now, I hope I’m still digging and there’s nothing I’d rather be doing right now.”

“There’s not an infinite amount of lost bottle sites, but there’s certainly an incredibly high number,” he continues. “There were 300,000 homestead farms in North Dakota with a minimum of one well, one outhouse, and one trash dump. And that doesn’t include towns where most of the population lived. There are millions of these sites in North Dakota and far more in other states.”

Respect to a freewheeling hunter like no other. Bottles draw the eye, but ghosts draw the heart: “The moment never gets old when you uncover a bottle and find that history,” Askjem adds. “Never.”

By CHRIS BENNETT.

#Lost and Found: Bottle Hunter Digs Extraordinary Farmland Treasures #Tom Askjem #glass #glass bottles #ancient glass #ancient artifacts #archeology #archeolgst #history #ancient history #history news #treasure #treasure hunter #antiques #bottle hunter #long post #long reads

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kawaiichibiart · 6 months ago

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PRSK Unit Shuffle AU Incorrect Quotes pt.5 (Our Found Family):

Kohane: Christmas lights?

Tsukasa: Check.

Kanade: Thermos of hot cocoa?

Tsukasa: Check.

Toya: Santa suits?

Tsukasa: Check.

Minori: Shovel?

Tsukasa: Check.

Saki: Alibi and bail money?

Tsukasa: Check- wait, WHAT?!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Minori: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Kanade: Theft.

Kohane: Disturbing the peace.

Saki: Aggravated assault.

Toya: Arson.

Tsukasa: All of the above. In that order, probably.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Squad reactions to being called straight:

Toya: The fuck, no I'm not.

Kanade: Excuse the hell out of you?

Tsukasa: Ding dong, you are wrong!

Kohane: Who told you that? And why did they lie?

Minori: Rude.

Saki: *punches the person*

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*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Saki, Toya, and Kanade: *spinning a little and talking*

Minori, Kohane, and Tsukasa: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

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Kohane: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.

Kohane: Violently practices.

Minori: Violently studies.

Kanade: Violently sleeps.

Toya: Violently shoots pictures.

Saki: Violently boxes.

Tsukasa: Violently murders people.

Kanade: Violently worries about the previous statement.

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Saki: Don’t worry, I have a permit.

Minori: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

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Toya: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.

Saki: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

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Tsukasa: Wow, it sure smells like wrong dog in here!

Kanade: Oh buddy...

Tsukasa, already sobbing: ASK.

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Saki: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Kanade: Which one? I can't do both.

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Kanade: I’m quick at math.

Toya: Ok, what’s 38 times 76?

Kanade: 24.

Toya: That wasn’t even close.

Kanade: But it was quick.

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Tsukasa: I’m sorry for being annoying.

Tsukasa: It will happen again.

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Kohane, talking to Saki: Well Saki, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Tsukasa do that?’ and if he would, I do not do that thing.

Saki: …

Tsukasa, from the distance: She's not wrong though!

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Toya: Just say when.

Kohane: When.

Toya: I-

Toya: Now or later?

Kohane: Oh.

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Toya: Can we get a birthday cake?

Tsukasa: It’s not your birthday.

Toya: The cake won’t know!

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Minori: You know, it’s fine to admit you were wrong.

Toya: *Sipping his drink after accidentally adding salt* I just like the way it tastes.

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Tsukasa: Come on, you need to go to bed.

Kohane: Mr. Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. And that you need to die!

Tsukasa: …

Tsukasa: What the hell, Mr. Snuffles—

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Saki: So, Tsukasa is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Toya: Why?

Saki: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Tsukasa, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

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Minori: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

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Saki: Where have you been all day?

Kanade: Oh, just dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.

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Tsukasa: You three, explain right now!

Toya: It was Saki.

Kanade: It was Saki.

Minori: It was Saki.

Saki:

Saki: …fuck.

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Kanade, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Tsukasa.

Tsukasa, not looking up from his coffee: Good morning, problem child.

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Saki: I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver.

Saki: When it hits a corner perfect, I’m allowed one good idea.

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Kohane: My toxic trait is that I truly believe I could win a fight against anybody if I was mad enough. You might have the strength and size, but I have the pure, unfiltered rage.

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Minori: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.

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Kanade: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

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Minori: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?

Tsukasa: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!

Minori: Mean.

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Saki: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Tsukasa: Wasn’t Kohane with you?

Kohane: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Minori: Tsukasa, say aluminum again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times.

Tsukasa: *sigh* Only for you, buddy. Alyoouminnieeum.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Tsukasa: You believe me?

Kanade: Tsukasa, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Kanade, proudly: I slept.

Minori: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

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nepentheisms · 2 years ago

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characters that are very me coded:

Thank you to @pancake-breakfast for the tag!

Akane Tsunemori from Psycho-Pass - "It's not the final judgment of good or evil that's important. What matters is that you come to that decision yourself. That you agonize over it and eventually accept it"

Alphonse Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist - "Humanity's advancement is founded on looking for new possibilities instead of being bound by general principles."

Chidi Anagonye from The Good Place - “You know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound my brain makes all the time.”

Diane Nguyen from Bojack Horseman - "Sometimes life's a bitch and then you keep living."

Ellie Chu from The Half of It - "You know Trig, I have been writing your papers for the last four years. And if you'll forgive me, I'm just gonna rewrite you one last time."

Percy de Rolo from Critical Role / The Legend of Vox Machina - "For the record, I have a magnificent bitch face."

Tagging @kazimakuwabara, @stunt-muppet, @rurouniidoru, @squidmaid, @shinyblackbird

#about me memes #welcome to the handful of new followers I've gotten #apparently overachievers with self-worth issues = me coded #fullmetal alchemist #psycho pass #the good place #bojack horseman #the half of it #the legend of vox machina

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cloudyswritings · 1 year ago

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The Silly Ones

just a dump for some silly headcanons from different fandoms.

Hollow Knight:

Smoker Hornet: see my other post

Hollow likes scarfs, like they just like being cozy.

Kinda morbid, but Grimm has a collection of small like, lumaflies, maskflies, and other relatives pinned up in his tent. This includes non-sapient butterflies. He does it to get out his aggression for his sister.

PK absolutely eats via his head, like bro has a mouth between his crown. It’s like a garbage disposal.

if he had a weapon, it’d be a trident with some dramatic name. But he’d secretly call it the Pale Fork

The dreamers once sealed started playing card games together. They really want to play euchre but don’t want to invite the radiance as their fourth.

Dryya: might just be canon but she’s gay for the white lady. The biggest silliest gay.

Zote used to be a higher being…

Hollow can’t sleep and Ghost is the biggest napper. Hollow carries them around like a little tote bag.

Rainworld:

Saint isn’t actually fluffy, but like a kinda gross slimy fluff, like they’re still a scug and scugs are slimy bois

Rivulet spends like 500 cycles trying to get that damn rarefaction cell to moon without chucking it into the void from pebbles can.

The ancients in pebbles city used to drink Pebsi, named after his august self.

NSH is responsible for miros vultures, suffice to say the local scugs went out their way to damage his structure in small ways when they found out.

Artis bomb jumps are just superpowered farts

Pebbles could’ve been saved if he just took up a hobby like every other damn iterator.

Pjo(these are more serious):

Gaia insited on Percy’s blood because he inherited on of his fathers names related to the earth, specifically Gaienokhos which has a possible interpretation as Holder of the Earth

Percy actually is mostly the son of Yam the twisting serpent, it’d explain his poison control, the weird shit he does with the rivers of the underworld, as well as the general strength buff he has compared to poisedons strength names. This is mostly something I learned from reading An Undertow of Sand by Shujin on space battles, so please go check it out, you won’t regret it.

Thalia could see and hear as her tree form, she regrets this immensely.

Percy is actually really good at sciences? Like especially chemistry.

I feel like he could easily start incorporating biology from various marine creatures as a power if he really tried. Like he could make his blood poisonous, or possibly slow his metabolism to survive the cold like a Greenland shark. He may even do this subconsciously to survive the pressure by taking chemicals from deep seas snail fish.

on that note I feel like he has the ability of tuna to conserve the heat generated by like normal metabolism and use it to warm his core temperature and speed up his metabolism for short bursts of incredible strength and speed.

Amphitrite is the true ruler of Atlantis, Poseidon is just her trophy husband. This is like pseudo canon? Cause she’s legit a titan(second gen I think?, her dad is Oceanus) so…

#hollow knight #rain world #crack headcanons #Pjo #headcanon #rw scug #rw iterator #hk pale king #percy jackson #poseidon

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ardentghcst · 3 months ago

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" BECAUSE I'M NOT FINISHED , " val huffs , as if that were obvious . acting as if she had been caught drawling on the walls by her mother and not cutting up a human being with the intent for consumption . val then scooped up another fistful of the gutted cadaver's organs , tangled intestines hung from her bare, soaked fingers like ramen noodles from the prongs of a fork . a horrendous squelch sounds as she deposits the handful into the bucket beside her before moving to repeat the movement . intestines were always the worst part - they were never ending . her lips finally show some semblance of emotion as she frowns . no , she hadn't planned this one , , , this one was pure instinct . primal need . " whoops , " she mutters bitterly , unfazed by the carnage as she retrieves yet another cluster . it's only when the light is moved to shine in her eyes does val recoil , lips curling back to reveal clamped teeth . a feral cat about to hiss and lurch forward with bared claws . a cruel glare is sent in lucia's direction , the murderous companion in her clutch twitching as val scowls .

" i didn't ask you to agree with this , " val retorts , voice cold as she more cruelly disposes of the unwanted meat in the bucket , the noise sloppy and vile . wet . " i didn't ask you to come over , either . " valerie isn't even concerned about lucia's lack of reaction to the circumstances she has found her in . not even considering that the woman could call the police at any moment or the fact her sanity had been called into question . val is just focused on the deep rooted growl of her stomach , the starved purr of her unsatiated hunger . " what is this , a tutoring session ?? a pop quiz ?? " val looks back down , working the knife through a fistful of tangled , earthworm like organs to cut them . the bucket was full , she needed to portion better . without looking up , points with her knife towards the cabinet beneath the sink , then pops her thumb between her lips . speaking around the blood doused appendage . " if you're gonna linger and interrogate me , least you can do is be helpful . grab me a garbage bag from under the sink . "

Nothing about this situation could ever be describe as a regular occurrence, not to Lucia at least. In contrast to that it was more than obvious the younger woman was fully in her element - although possibly not fully mentally present. It was something the scientist noticed immediately in the changes of the other's pupils despite their distance, the twitching and twisting of features as it seemed Valerie herself needed to realize the actual situation she was in for a moment. "I don't see you moving to clean." Don't give her sass now, Lucia was clearly still capable of returning the energy thrown her way - maybe a tad less vicious. Still it was her that moved instead, closer to the other side of the kitchen table, skillfully avoiding any puddle of indistinguishable fluids and gore. Not when she had just bought these boots a week ago. Once in reach her hand took hold of one of the lights hanging low, able to angle it by the soft cable to shine directly into Val's eyes. "Very dead indeed, with a girl clearly going through a psychotic break taking him apart." As usual she was rather factual, a woman of data and research even as she watched how the light forced Valerie's pupils to tighten further. "Not even a plastic sheet, Val." Brows furrowed further as the older woman was met with her own inability to understand actions in the heat of a moment without proper preparation- or really any further thought to it. "And you know I won't see myself agreeing with this." Not because she mourned the death of a stranger she had no bond with, but because that was how she was taught society worked. Which would ultimately lead to her needing to report it- alas, there was the spark of curiosity, the way it slowly crept into the look of her eyes along with the twitch to the corners of her mouth. A subject to be studied, one so close to her she would have been a fool not to notice anything like this about her before. Of course Lucia had noticed, although to the point of theorizing. After all he was a researcher, one who knew most things about the people around her - such as this one's past. "What have you learned about the theories on nature vs. nurture?"

#& 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐨𝐟 V.CAVELLO #& 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 STURMBOE #& 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 VALERIE X LUCIA

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deathofaninteriordecorator · 2 years ago

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one thing about me is i will be swimming way too far out into the ocean

#i just found this buried in my drafts dfslfjkds #it's not wrong!#max's brain does the fork in the garbage disposal

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i-am-very-not-aight · 3 years ago

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Eiji Okumura is chaotic and a little shit and no one can convince me other wise. Also very sad. This is a very prevalent theme in all of my posts.

So here's some incorrect quotes

Eiji: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

Eiji: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

Eiji: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

Eiji: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

Eiji: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

Eiji: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

Eiji: I made tea.

Ash: I don’t want tea.

Eiji: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ash: Then why are you telling me?

Eiji: It is a conversation starter.

Ash: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Eiji: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Eiji: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

Eiji: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

Eiji: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. As long as it isn't Ash.

Eiji, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo.

Eiji: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Eiji: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

Eiji: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

Eiji: You think I really give a fuck? I can’t even read!

Eiji, threatening the others with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!

Eiji: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Ash: What's that?

Eiji: Remorse code.

Ash: I'm even angrier now.

Eiji: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.

Eiji: I think my guardian angel drinks.

Eiji: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."

Eiji: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Eiji: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

Eiji: The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.

Eiji: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Eiji: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

Eiji: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

Eiji: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

Eiji: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

That's it, Eiji being a chaotic bastard is my favourite thing and some of y'all really need to embrace it.

#banana fish #banana fish incorrect quotes #incorrect banana fish #ash lynx #eiji okumura #shorter wong #banana fish headcanons #chaotic eiji okumura

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eternal-armin · 3 years ago

Text

shine on harvest moon.

hange gets concerned about you after seeing you skip another meal, so they go to check on you. 1,600 words.

cw: discussion of self-harm, self-deprecating thoughts, skipping meals.

you did little more than pick at your food. all day you had been exhausted and hungry, but now, you could barely find the strength to open your mouth. the metal fork had a slight bit of weight to it, and yet every part of it felt so far away, so distant. your mind was nothing more than an empty page in the back of a book. something was supposed to be there, anything, and yet it was empty. leaving the tray behind, you stood up, walking away from the otherwise empty table. hazel eyes stared at you as you left, just as silent as you had been, worry filling their owner’s expression. “you’re awfully quiet, four-eyes.” levi commented, staring at hange with vague concern. more so some sense of disgust or strangeness. “i didn’t expect you to ever complain about that,” hange replied, rubbing their eyes. they began to bounce their knee, unsure what else to do. “me neither. but it’s somehow more unnerving when you don’t talk about your horrifying experiments concerning titans, and instead stare like a concerned parent at a cadet who just won’t eat dinner.” levi shot back, monotone voice still sharp. hange fake-scoffed. “i am allowed to be concerned about my friends, levi! he’s been acting strange for a long time and i’m worried about his wellbeing, okay? skipping meals, not talking to anyone. he used to look happy, and socialize, and… y’know, eat. and now something’s wrong and i can’t stop thinking about it. i’m his friend. i have to help him.” hange sighed, resting their head in their hand. their mind sounded like a fork in a garbage disposal. on one hand, all they wanted to do was run after you and protect you with a hug and all the kisses you could ever need. on the other hand, both of you knew the consequences of being caught. levi nodded ever so slightly, letting a moment of silence rest on them like a thick coat of snow. “if you’re so worried, go talk to him. it’s a simple solution, idiot.” it was almost like he had to give hange permission to check in with you. their foot stopped tapping. “yeah. yeah, you’re right. i need to- i’ll catch up with you later.” hange made up a smile for levi before quickly leaving the table. levi stared at their now-empty seat for a moment, the messily half-finished meal on the tray, before sighing quietly and sipping at his tea.

hange gently knocked on the door to your room. and upon no response, knocked again. “[y/n]? it’s me, it’s- it’s hange. you, uh, doing okay there, peanut?” still no answer came from beyond the door. hange got a bad feeling, and admittedly, didn’t hesitate to pluck a hairpin from their head and fiddle with the lock. it clicked open, and they opened the door enough to look in, unconsciously holding their breath. numb horror and shock dimly took over their expression. “peanut, what’s going on,” for the first time they didn’t speak with inflection. it was so strange to hear. you did not raise your head, unable to find the strength to look in those worried eyes. but they didn’t need you to. “please just put the blade down, alright, peanut? you aren’t in trouble, you aren’t going to get in trouble. just put it down and i can help you, okay?” hange’s voice was soft, leveled. they stepped toward you. you only cried harder at the deep concern hange expressed. and yet you were frozen, unable to put down the hot blade once again pressed to your arm. “okay. okay, that’s okay. you don’t have to move. just let me take it from you, alright?” you gave hange the best nod you could muster, biting your lip to keep from outright sobbing. the pain, what once stung like hell, had become unnoticeable. with a gentle touch, she took the blade from your hand, casting it across the room. now that the steel wasn’t in your grasp, you found yourself sobbing, despite trying to stop it. hange hugged you, rubbing your back. they fully accepted that you wouldn’t be able to hug back. “it’s okay, peanut. you can cry. you can cry as long as you want. you’ll be okay, i’ve got you. i’ve got you. always.” hange found themself rambling, saying whatever might make you feel better. you cried into their shoulder for longer than you would ever like to admit, but in the moment, you didn’t feel embarassed. they gently pet your hair; their words were sweet, honest, and kind. your cries eventually began to quiet. slowly but surely, you ran out of tears. your eyes were red and strained, your face streaked with tears when you distanced yourself from them. “there you go, peanut. it’s okay. everything is okay.” a small bit of cheer seeped back into their voice. you found yourself smiling, just slightly. what could you say, it was infectious. “let’s get you to a bathroom, okay? clean you up, get some medical supplies?” the smile they gave you lacked any pity. it was undescribable. but the look in their eyes was reassuring. you nodded, and they helped you stand. their pace was slow and cautious as they walked with you down and across the hall. “fancy seeing you here, shitty glasses. cadet.” levi commented as he rounded the corner, eyes narrowed slightly. hange waved him off with a ‘pssh.’ “it’s fine, levi, we’ve just got an injury.” lying so easily with their joyful voice, it made it sound like nothing was wrong. oddly enough, it was comforting. levi raised a brow at the two of you but asked no further questions, recognizing you as the cadet they had been staring at. you and hange stepped into the bathroom, and they closed the door. they turned on the faucet to a luke-warm temperature. “run it under for a moment to wash away the blood, alright?” you nodded, and they pressed a quick kiss to your temple. “good.” hange looked through the medicine cabinet, then through the drawers beneath the sink, clicking their tongue as they rushed to find the first-aid kit. “annddd…. there! jeez, you’d think they would make it easier to find,” they mused under their breath. you chuckled, weakly, but they brightened up so much just to hear it. they turned off the water, pressing a sterile piece of gauze to the wounds, sighing slightly in relief. they had stopped bleeding; they weren’t deep. they tossed away the gauze pad, applied some ointment, and bandaged it up, snug but not too tight. “there you go, sweetheart. all better. well, maybe not all better, but all bandaged.” hange hugged you again and, finally clean, you returned it. hange took a breath, cautiously planning their

words. it was new, to say the least, but they knew it was important right now. “you don’t have to talk to me now, peanut. you don’t have to tell me anything. but i’m here for you, alright? i always will be.” you nodded, however you wanted to tell them. you felt safe telling them. all you needed to figure out was the words. “do you ever feel like all you deserve to feel is pain? so when you feel numb, this is… how you deserve to be roused from that.” you saw hange’s shoulders fall slightly, and felt yours do the same. “there were so many things i was unable to do. people i couldn’t save. i would rather do this than quite and prove everybody right. i’m weak.” you mustered a shaky breath. “this is all i deserve.” hange hugged you a little tighter before pulling away. “peanut, look at me. please.” eventually you were able to do so. there was only a little resolve left in your otherwise exhausted eyes. it pained hange to see you like this. “[y/n], you are one of the strongest, kindest, smartest people i’ve ever had the honor of knowing. you have been through absolute hell and yet you manage to smile and be positive. you may not have been able to save everyone. but think about the people you did save, about the lives you did change. you have been a light in the dark for so many people.” hange smiled at you. beyond their glasses, their eyes became misty. “you have been so strong for so long, putting others before yourself for the sake of furthering humanity’s progress. that’s the most incredible thing someone can do. “i am lucky enough to love and be loved by you. i will say it every hour of every day if i need to because you are worth it. you deserve to know it, and damnit you’ll know it.” hange cupped your cheek, wiping away another tear that threatened to fall. you smiled, hugging them tightly again. “i’ll always say it back.” you mumbled. you both shared a little laugh. “look at you, peanut. look at that smile. ah! there you are!” they peppered your face with kisses, each one accented with a ‘mwah!’ the angelic laughter they got from you made them brighten up. how they were still skilled at making you feel like the luckiest boy in the world, you had no clue. neither did you complain. “promise me that you’ll come talk to me next time?” they paused the barrage of kisses, looking into your eyes. you nodded. “i promise, hange.” you smiled gently at them, and they kissed you again, mumbling a ‘thank you’ against your lips.

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