#fr might go back to old hyperfixations

[elohelaye]

my brain is fighting for its life for which rotisserie chicken (interest/topic) to rotate (hyperfixate) in my brain

Fr Wally Darling, Paimon, and March 7th are brawling it out in my brain

I should draw that..........

but i have

🔥🔥🔥🎸HOMEWORK🎸🔥🔥🔥

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Unexpected hyperfixation??

okay so what the fuck guys I just finished watching the Disney film Inside Out (2015) and my god JOY

JOY is so MOTHER like, MOMMY? Literally on the very first minute of the movie, when she was the first emotion to appear, she said "It was me and Riley forever", that caught my interest. And it only snowballed from there. I found how she would hug the memory balls so lovingly, super interesting

So definitely her defining character trait is a control freak, nice but actually covertly nasty. I love me a possessive smother, she was not too thrilled to know that she had to share the room with other emotions. But she eventually tolerated and became nice to them because they had a use to keep Riley alive and safe. But is highkey a hater towards Sadness because she thinks that blue fuck is only there to cause misery towards her beloved Riley.

Like WOW the core memories are all controlled by Joy and she genuinely finds JOY in doing menial shit like "dream duty" unlike the other emotions who finds it a chore. She does not sleep fr fr, rather obsessing over Riley and her thoughts and CONTROLLING everything so that Riley is forever happy and in bliss.

She physically cannot let Riley go to sleep sad, so she played a memory about her ice skating back in Minnesota, and she was also skating around in the headquarters. I interpreted it as Joy wanting to be physically outside Riley's head so she could mother her better and steal Riley from her parents to make her into Joy's daughter. I Pretend I Do Not See TVtropes explanation of that saying she secretly wants to be Riley because that does not fit into my ideal 💯💯

In that scene where a sad core memory was created, homegirl flipped the fuck out and tries to immediately get rid of it, throwing hands with Sadness and pulling her hair and shit just to avoid it creating whatever crappy mcshitster island it might have made.

Then the scene where she sees the mind workers siphoning faded memories to be thrown to the memory dump to be disintegrated, she was also freaking out because those are "perfectly good memories" and proceeds to list some obscure ass esoteric information about Riley's childhood, the names of every Cutie Pie princess doll to be exact LIKE DAMN JOY YOU REMEMBER THAT SHIT? DAMN

she got mad when the workers threw those memories away and briefly told them to bring them back YESS I SEE YOU HOARDER MAMI

and she is WELL ACQUAINTED with Riley's imaginary best friend because she gives a crap about everything related to Riley- like she remembers everything about his antics and work- FUCK BRO like Sadness doesn't seem to know who the hell that guy is but JOY DOES even down to that song they sang, and you can tell that she stays UP watching her dreams because she knew the Unicorn actress and her work too.

Joy's only priority is Riley like what the hell, it's just making Riley happy at all costs and she litcherally abandoned sadness at long term memory just so that she could get back up there and make her happy.

When bing bong's rocket got thrown into the pit and he was understandably devastated, Joy wasted no time in trying to cheer him up JUST SO the party could keep moving, she does not give TWO SHITS about him being sad, she just cared about Riley and Riley is #1 in her abstract ass brain. Like she even got annoyed when Sadness showed actual empathy and talked to bing bong, thinking it will just hinder advancements

And she just does NOT want Riley to feel other emotions if its not necessary, like logically yes scaring an 11 year old in her dream is going to wake her up immediately. But she would rather go the dumbass route of making a dream so happy and joyful that she would wake up like???? sanity and IQ slippage right there because she is distressed over not being able to save Riley just yet, or because of her possessiveness.

Bro?? Like when she's going through the recall tube (that inevitably failed), she was supposed to let sadness get sucked up with her, but because of her blueness is contaminating the core memories she was like "SORRY RILEY NEEDS TO BE HAPPY" and just kicked her to the curb, like with almost no hesitation she just shoved her away

My god, my favourite scene was when she was at the bottom of the memory dump where she sees the grey orbs being turned to dust and blown away, she was crying and mourning over the small details and memories like how Riley would stick her tongue out while colouring, and that one line "I can listen to her stories, all day." Like DAMN MISS OBSESSIVE ATTENTIVE I SEE YOUU

and she watched some random memory about Riley twirling around and falling like an idiot as a toddler, and she sobbed hard, like it isn't that deep but it is to Joy. Like the small stuff that she would obsess to the moon over like BRO FUCK THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

And the fact that there is this huge theme of "I do not want my Daughter-cum-flesh mecha to grow up" in Joy's character makes me want Joy so bad

Literally, throughout the entire 1h 30ish minute movie Joy's like: "I must save Riley. I live for Riley. In this reality it is only Riley", whereas the other personalities do give a damn about themselves a fair amount, a normal amount. Whereas Joy just devotes her entire concept to Riley, as in she has no personality other than obsessive, possessive, and controlling just for the best of Riley and her happiness, ALL SHE THINKS OF IS RILEY OR RELATING TO HER

like she could have been sadness where she became a sad sack about how she fucked up and stuff, and yes Joy DID fuck up by being an asshat to sadness, because she turns out to be important in regulating Riley's emotions. But Joy does not sulk and mope and become immobilized for long, she has work to do and that is to take care of Riley, LIKE?? DAMN JOY U CAN PUSH THRU SELF HATRED LIKE THAT JUST FOR YOUR RILEY

no she doesn't feel too awkward, too guilty or too shitty that she starts to alienate herself from the 4, but she just continues business as usual for the sake of Riley. Nothing matters except Riley's happiness AND wellbeing.

I swear to god Joy is the Yves emotion man, If my brain works like how the Inside Out universe works, Yves is literally Joy piloting my brain on a daily basis like omg that's YVES

Yves would be kinning so hard with Joy fr fr, he would be breathing so hard and gripping till the handles of his seat breaks, frothing at the mouth and pupils blown out at the thought of getting into your brain and accessing ALL those memory orbs, maybe even finding a way to make copies and export them into real life and to fill up his data vault

[melonsharks]

i'm shark, but you can also call me gabu! please use he/they pronouns for me! i am an adult.

I don't mind spam reblogs/spam likes. do what you will!

FOLLOWING FROM: @sharkboyz (main blog / all my reblogs go here)

I AM 1/2 OF: @ghostsharkpress!!

---

ZINE I'VE RUN: @bntzine @mcrvenomzine @frenreyzine

NOW RUNNING: @goromcomzine

MY SHOP | MY INRPNT

MY CARRD

↓ more under the cut ↓

FAQ (may be updated!):

Where else can I find you?

twitter, instagram.

what art program do you use?

procreate!

what brushes do you use?

i use diana marmol's soft brush for everything, usually on 40% opacity (and i make it pretty big) and then i polish it with the eraser tool (using the same brush). i use this whole pack to some extent, but soft brush is my go-to for literally anything. opaque is the second most used brush. usually for clean lines on my merch, or flat coloring.

do you take requests?

sometimes. usually only when I ask, and I usually only ask on instagram!

are your commissions open?

i usually say yes if you ask. im not good at advertising them LOL

can i use your art?

im ok with my art being used as pfps, wallpapers, banners, in edits, as long as i'm credited (ideally with a link back to my account!) and if you DO make an edit with my art, please tag me, I'd love to see it... NOT okay with my art being reposted. Do not repost my art without permission or credit.

can i draw/write fanart/fanfic of your aus?

YES!!! this is always ok, I am always so honored when people do this. Just tag me, so I can see it and gush about it! :D

are you ever bringing back [merch item]?

this completely depends on demand. the answer is always maybe! unless its my first fr-nrey charm, then the answer is no.

will you ever draw for [fandom] again?

i draw whatever strikes my fancy at any given moment. i might draw for an old fandom again someday, but if you're following me for ONE thing, you may want to adjust your expectations :') i have a lot of interests and my hyperfixations come and go.

im sorry for spam liking/spam reblogging, etc.

hey. look me in the eye. its ok. i love you

tags i mainly use (may be updated!):

#gabuart - art tag

#asks - ask tag

#melonshop - shop announcements

#melonmerch - merch showcase

[littlest-bugz]

current hyperfixation? (feel free to infodump!!)

YIPPEEE!!! This made my day FR!! Thank you, mutual <3

ANYWAYS

This is kind of embarrassing, but I’ve been deeply invested by my own OCverse for going on 8 years now. Its my Special Interest, which sucks because,,, im the only one who can make content of these stinkies,,,,,

I really find it hard to hyperfixate on anything else because of the fact Ive been invested for so long (except for Web Design and coding, which I wont infodump about, since its literally all for these stories, deadass).

It is not fun at times because 1) all the characters live rent free in my head and criticize how I write them in my novels [that DID life] and 2) its SO hard to make new projects and get attached to them. Ive been trying for 2 years to make a horror project out of one concept but I seriously cant get fully invested and it SUCKS. Let me make my silly little horror web series damnit!!!!! (@ my brain)

I have 3 novels and one fantasy series im working on so,,,, Infodump time >:3c

TWs: Terminal Illness + brief mentions of (mental institute) hospitalization, murder, war, and some others that I’m not 110% sure the exact tags for them (basically kind of cannibalism, but between nonhuman species). Other than terminal illness, they’re super brief mentions, but still proceed with caution.

Right now, I’m working on one of the books I’ve been writing for nearly my whole time writing. Ive been only working on it since feb 1st (it’s, like, the THIRD draft tho).

Blurb about book

Melissa is a bassist in a rock band she formed with her high school friends. Just as her, and her friends’, career begins takes off, she gets diagnosed with a terminal illness. With a month left to live, and a shit ton of unfinished business, she invokes her best friend’s patron deity who is capable of miracles, Flip. Melissa and Flip make a pact to keep her alive until her business is over, but oh no! Melissa has caught the eyes of another god, and a pretty shitty one at that. How is she going to make her last months peaceful if she’s being hunted down by a god?

The working title is called “Ensuring Your Spot In Hell” because Flip is, essentially, a demon in the universe (rules an infernal ring of hell- it means I would have to explain the worldbuilding around hell and its A LOT), but titles are!!! So hard for me!!!

A list of random facts about the book™️ because I don’t want to write full paragraphs bc I can go on forever if u ask me to:

Flip’s name is a shortened version of his actual name, Fli’pyek. Furthermore, the domain Flip rules over is that of Wrath and Violence

Trinity (Melissa’s childhood bestie, and the friend that worship’s Flip) is a hereditary witch and pagan. Her family has been worshipping Flip and practicing witchcraft for several generations! They literally have their own holy book (generational BoS/Grimoire/whatever u want to call it).

Melissa had been sick with the disease™️ since she was 16. She just neglected the shit out of her own health (me too bestie, me too). It easily could have been prevented if she went to the doctor back when she was, at least, 18 years old, max 24.

At the time Melissa is diagnosed with her terminal illness, she’s 26. By the time she was supposed to die, she would’ve been freshly 27. Has anyone heard of the 27 club theory before? Or is it just an obscure reference I made LMAO

Melissa has extended biological family that worships Flip! It gets super awkward when Melissa visits them with Flip lol

The other primordial god that Melissa finds herself in a predicament with is named Ama, the god of Cruelty and Torture. Not a swell guy to get mixed up with, that’s for sure!

Melissa has an orange and white cat named Cheddar!

Flip always smells like whiskey and freshly cut tobacco. At all times. It’s bc his blood smells like it (and tastes like it too, but why are you tasting it? /j)

Any other facts might be getting into spoiler territory, BUT!! Thats the one Im working on rn, in February. In January I worked on another book, but that one honest to gods might be too triggering for this acc for an indepth thingy like the book I just did. It’s being rewritten to not be so triggering, but bc it’s a throw up of some of our trauma, it’s not an easy task to censor it.

REGARDLESS, Here’s a rundown of ALL of my main novels (minus the one I already talked about)

The Case of Twin Woods [mystery, drama, crime] (the one i worked on January)

Chastity hates her life. She hates her shitty job, she hates her shitty friends, and she hates her shitty family. After opening up too much to an online friend about her chronic suicidality, Chastity gets taken to Twin Woods Mental Institute, the state’s mental institution. There she befriends an eccentric group of patients, then finding out something terrible might be going on with the head warden, Leon Bellamy. She takes it upon herself to find out and solve the mystery, but she may have bitten off more than she can chew.

Untitled One (but leaning towards the name of ‘Jealousy’ or somethin idk) [drama, romance, crime]

Mia has a quiet life. She works at a library, she fosters cats, and by all means, has what could be considered a ‘boring life’. One day, she gets laid off from her job under the excuse of “cutting costs”, leaving her without a job and severance. While scrambling for a job, she finds one at a local cafe, the most frequented one in the city. There she befriends one of the regulars, a cold, quiet man named Zander, and after she unknowingly helps Zander’s brother, she becomes significantly closer to him. However, her boss, a bitter ex of Zander’s, hears about their ensuing closeness and decides she doesn’t like what’s going on. One failed dinner party and murder attempt later, Mia is left scrambling to hide that she killed Angelina in self defense. Will she be successful in hiding the murder? Or will the justice system make quick work of her?

Untitled Fantasy Series (has about 2 actual novels and 3 novellas… a possible third novel too) [drama, romance]

book one

Since his birth, King Sunshine has known his fate. He is to be sacrificed for the greater good of the realm he resides, killing his oppressive father, but losing his life in the process. It’s a prophecy that has been laid out since the beginning of Racktokian history, one King Sunshine was never able to escape due to his father’s unspoken rage at his own murder. After meeting a Vurtock for the first time, a species his father only used as cattle, Sunshine finds himself quickly entangled in a plot to overthrow his own father to liberate the Vurtockian race. He knows what he has to do, but it isn’t easy.

book two

The great war tore apart the country King Sunshine called home. His father left no stone unturned from his rage, and public opinions split the people. In the rubble of his home, he builds a new country founded on the importance of the civilians, only to be elected as a King in place of his father. Living in the palace he always called home, but had tried to escape, he finds that his father keeps sending assassins to make attempts on his life. One assassin, a vurtock with nothing to lose, hits a soft spot in Sunshines heart. After deescalating the attempt on his life, he offers the vurtock to stay in his castle until they’re able to find the proper resources to help him build a life in the new country. Far away from the oppressive dictatorship of his father. Yet, as his guest begins to stay for longer than intended, he sees that yet another step in the prophecy will begin.

Despite how the second book blurb is written, it’s more from the vurtock’s point of view than Sunshine’s. I just had a total brain fart.

The novellas for the fantasy book follow the POV of other important characters, such as the ruler of the Vurtockian rebellion, the POV of other rulers. For a while I wanted to write one from Raphaël’s POV, but I decided it wouldn’t be worth writing a whole book about a piece of shit finding joy in the pain he causes. Like, no thanks, ill pass.

Theres a possible 3rd book that would essentially be an extended epilogue, since the prophecy doesn’t stop at Sunshine’s death. I just haven’t thought as far as the 2 books and 3 novellas, in terms of outlining the books and stuff.

I honestly could give TONS more info on the fantasy books because that part of my universe has been around nearly the whole time Ive been writing. I have maps of the world, maps of countries, maps of even just cities, house and castle layouts, moodboards, art. Visual references galore. Not to mention the playlists for each character + each book. I also made a document called “The Remian Bible” because it has everything about the world in it, including the alphabets of the languages, grammar structures for said languages and literally 5 holy books for the religions even tho they wont evEN BE TALKED ABOUT IN ENOUGH DEPTH (why did i do that to myself /lh j/. It doesn’t help that I still want the write the holy books in their native languages… oo,,, and imagine writing the actual novels in the native languages,,,,). It’s honestly kind of,,, surreal how much time Ive put into this world 🧍 Like??? Damn,,,,

BUT YEAH!!! Those are all the books that take place in my ocverse + some other info!!! The things that are my hyperfixation,,,, My own books and world LMAO— The books don’t include half of the ocs in my ocverse tho, so thats where the website im coding comes in. It’ll have short stories based on the backstories of various characters on it, and Yes, even the background characters will be on it bc Im fucking bonkers and fleshed them out, even though some of them are in one scene for 2 minutes.

That being said, if anyone, or u mutual (if u read this wall of text), found any of this interesting, or wants to read even just the prologue of any of these, DM me!! I’m always looking for beta readers!! Or people to talk to about it too, that’d be fantastic. I really need beta readers, so seriously. DM me if u want to read my cringey stories!! I can give better in depth tws too!!!

EDIT: I need to mention that I go through spurts of hyperfixating on only one book or series. Thats why its both my hyper fixation AND my Special Interest

[quinnonimp]

do you have any favorite books/movies/shows? (this is me asking you to ramble about your favorite piece of media, I'm in the mood for special interest talk.)

ooo im not much of a consumer of media but one of my favorites is homestuck !!!! ill talk abt it, but mind u im kind of horrible at talking abt my interests </3

im not that old of a homestuck fan (only got into it around 2020 i think) but FUUUUUCK its such a huge part of my life and probably my longest hyperfixation, might even be a special interest with how much i still think abt it at random intervals or small associations

im honestly a little of scared of falling back into my hyperfixation of it though ? theres a few small reasons but i think its mostly just me being scared of commitment to anything as always (which is probablt also why i barely consume media) . recently i was REEEALLY close to but new ccquackity/ccwilbur activity dragged me away to safety lmfao (if u could even call a dsmp/tntduo hyperfixation safety)

smth i rly love abt homestuck is the way its so incredibly focused on characterization rather than story

like YES it does have a great story but its clearly messy n weird n hussie just kind of throws anything up in the air and just the dumbest shit ever can happens, and while that is aswell smth i absolutely fucking love - the characters r a way bigger deal n more interesting than anything the story will conjure up, and thats definitely my favorite way of writing media

cause like, yknow, good characters can absolutely save a bad story, but a good story cant rly save bad characters

plus theres so many characters and theyre all so well written that its easy to find a fan for each of them

my favorite character is 100% gamzee, im so fucking normal abt him, like oh my god i love that dude so much and the little idealized version of him i have inside my head lmao . mostly the earlier stuff is what i like of him though

fun fact ! hes part the reason im not scared of clowns anymore . i used to be terrified of clowns so when i first read homestuck i thought he was the most annoying freak in the world and DESPISED him, until i started looking more into purplebloods and gradually liked gamzee more until suddenly clowns r now my entire personality

i have so many reasons to love gamzee, but a lot of it has to do with just the plain fact i relate to him and when i see him i go "damn hes just like me fr" . like just . idk . his mannerisms n the way he dresses n looks r pretty similar to mine nowadays - except the whole "murderous instincts" thing, i think . and because of the way i havent read the comic in a while this self projection has really marinated itself

hes also sooooo brasileiro nordestino bc i said so 🤏

other favorite characters of mine are roxy, jade, kurloz, aradia, meenah, and calliope . plus, hes not a favorite but: when i got into homestuck i used to be a way louder energetic person, so my friends would say i was literally karkat, which infuriated the hell out of me x)

classpects is one of my biggest interests in homestuck, i fucking love them so much, im such a personality wizard i will latch onto anything personality related so hard . theyre great for initiating 60 page analysis on favorite characters (or ocs) and are so amazing for characterizing ocs its crazy, and aswell as to just classpect friends or random funny shit . i love them !!

in fact once i made an entire analysis to my friends as to why mosquitos r thiefs of blood, and there were so so so many more reasons than just the funny idea of classpecting a mosquito something called "THIEF of BLOOD"

though what i think a lot of ppl forget though is that while yes theyre heavily based on personality, theyre based on narrative aswell, which is why a real person can never have 1 set classpect all throughout their life since we well dont know the narrative we live in, we dont know our paths or our conclusions or how we'll end up and thats an important thing to know when classpecting since the way to godhood in sburb is a personal journey to self improvement, yknow ?

(though ofc if u wanna classpect solely based on personality go right ahead . the world is yours)

in this era of my life id consider myself a maid of space (which is a cool as fuck classpect and gets me the coolest powers EVER !!!!!!), but 1-2 years ago i considered myself a rogue of blood, then a rogue of rage, then a rogue of space (i was very rogue-ey), plus a few others here n there, and if i were to classpect myself from 3-4 years ago i would be a witch of rage/blood

i just think seeing the way change happens and the way we can see that change through a silly lens such as classpects is cool . with the way my obsessions work im obviously gonna look at the world with anything that associates with my interests in the back of my head, so im gonna start classpecting something like a glass jar if i take a look at it, and thats fun as hell !!

ive changed a lot throughout the years just as everyone does and im gonna continue changing, so who knows what classpect i end up with in another year or two ! its fun to think abt

ill leave my thoughts with that but thanks for asking :.))))

[what-if-doctor-who-was-yuri]

OK HOES IM BACK AT IT AGAIN

i am triweilding hyperfixations rn (dnd, bg3 + hwfwm) so i decided that it would be fun to smoosh them all together into a fucking mess so i proudly present: a shitty jason asano char sheet for dnd (w a ver for bg3 bc the subclass isnt in bg3 (might need to change spells idk havent checked)) (also this is just for mechanics i would reccomed speaking to ur dm if u wanna add flavour items also idk how the equipment would go w bg3 so) this is not in the same order he gets his powers (aka he takes the mage hand cantrip even tho the powers it emulates (shadow hands and physical soul) dont come till book 4 and also he gets revival ish powers at level 6 just ignore it dnd has diff balance to hwfwm its no biggie heres how you make it!

first step: we r gonna take the high elf for the powers BUT we r gonna reflavour it so he looks human

for the cantrip w r gonna take message to emulate his vc power

then we take a background: urchin! (but change 👏 the 👏 flavour 👏)

this is mainly for the proficiencies and also the mouse which we r gonna reflavour as a colin leech (ask ur dm)

u can drop all the other flavour items or ask if u can change em since yk the lore dont add up if ur playing jason fr

now time for ability scores since here u go:

str: 8 (-1)

dex: 13+2 = 15 (+2)

con: 14 (+2)

int: 10+1 = 11 (0)

wis: 12 (+1)

cha: 15 (+2)

step four is to choose a class so im going with warlock since 1: i like it 2: its a spellsword form level 1 just like jason 4: the flavour is nice

ok time for the good stuff:

start by grabing arcana and deception as ur class skills (replace one w stealth and maybe sleight of hand too if u didnt take urchin)

equipment: any simple weapon, an arcane focus, a scholar's pack, Leather armor, any simple weapon, and two daggers

(u can take whatever simple weapon u want or maybe even ask ur dm for a sword (short or long bc u get those proficiencies from high elf)

next we wanna take the undying subclass for all its nifty death defying undead fucking powers

(if ur playing bg3 or ur dm wont let you use SCAG content then take the great old one)

now for the spells and cantrips:

cantrips at first level we r gonna grab will be mage hand and poison spray (on top of message (high elf) and spare the dying (undying))

spells will be hex and comprehend languages

at second level we grab the armour of shadows and eyes of the rune keeper eldritch invocations, grab arms of hadar, and dump comprehend languages for cause fear

third level is time for the pact boon! take pact of the blade (though if u really want a familiar take pact of the chain instead) (some ei's we take have potb as a prequisite so then just pyf) and also misty step

level four we r gonna take the skulker feat (or +2 cha if u arent using optional feats) as well as finally picking up eldritch blast (it doesnt suit the flavour ik it makes him worse but it also makes him quirkyer) and also grabbing ray of enfeeblement

level 5 we grab ray of sickness (undying expanded spell list) or if not then remove curses and also the one with shadows invocation

level 6 we grab vampiric touch

level 7 you wanna take blight and grab the thrsting bade invocation (pyf if u didnt take potb)

level 8 we r grabbing +2 charisma and also dimension door

level 9 its contagion (hold monster for u tgoo guys) and also theif of five fates invocation

level 10 blade ward babyyy

level 11 darkness + circle of death mystic anacrum

level 12 take lifedrinker and another +2 charisma

level 13 grab counterspell and finger of death mystic anacrum

after that youre on ur own kid bc i cba to take it into the realms of trully unbalanced

feel free to use this (lmk how it goes havent tested it yet) and change anything up (id love some feedback!!!)

[astrxealis]

also also sorta offtopic but: what other games do ya play?? GO FULL OUT IN RAMBLING

ik you've seen me ramble abt twewy all the time but I also love pokémon, kirby, legend of zelda, detroit become human and golden sun !!! my brother has also been playing Hades lately and tho the playstyle isn't my thing bc I get stressed easily IT'S AN AMAZING GAME AND I LOVE IT

someday I will be able to properly try playing final fantasy and fire emblem HAHA if I have the time to play I'll let you know !!! I really want to try those games TT

HEHEHE AHJBHGDBJGH omg if you say so ,, under the cut bcs idk how much i might. ramble GSGBHB <3 <3 <3 warning. just in advance. sorry annie but you've just enabled me HGSBDHJG

( ok i finished writing. uh. i think i legitimately spent more than an hour what. BUT UHM warning it might be really long but idk HSBDHJG but disclaimer yes no need to read it all!! and tysm once again!! and sorry for. so much rambling HSDJHBG )

( edit again bcs i've woken up HOLY SHIT I DIDNT REALIZE I DIDNT POST THIS. I JUST SAVED DRAFT AND THEN POOFED HELP )

OKAY WAIT FIRST. ik you want more twewy moots yes AND THO i do consider myself to like twewy i still am sadly not into it that much yet despite i rmbr uhh neo demo, wanting to watch the animation, and then once it was on sale. i was hyperfixated on it WHFBJH and then moved on to . triangle strategy HJDSBJG which i still don't have but i cld maybe ask a friend who i convinced to buy it bcs he was curious and i was like ROLAND ROLAND ROLAND and i was rlly excited bcs it ws just around release but they haven't even touched it at all so i'll one day force him to lend me it (and i'll never return it JKJKJK HLEP) BUT YEAH. i feel like i wrote that latter bit w no breath breaks

!!! i rmbr you talking abt pokemon once (IN DMS ?? >O< & ff7!!) and ofc ik you love loz HEHE i was goin thru pics some time ago and. came across the link stuff again GDSGB ^^ I DON'T THINK I KNEW YOU LIKED KIRBY AND DBH THO ... kirby is ADORABLE but i've only ever played like. 5 minutes worth of one of the old games HGBSJHD and loz botw which i haven't finished yet bcs i am not enthusiastic to do the bananas and i had to give back the card to my tita TwT DHB okay funny story we had to make smth for school once and i used a somewhat triggering photo and thankfully it wasn’t anything too bad and no one got yeah. also i was rlly young. but DAMN i’m better now thnkfully ALSO i rly wnt to play sometime >< <3

HADES OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT GAME (than and zag. oh god) !!! i'm only a few hours in uhh around 16?? >< i shld def play more ,, can understand it not being your type in playstyle AHBAHFBJ but fr it's amazing and so loveable <3 tbh i kind of get stressed a bit easily like. i could MAYBE be that kinda "toxic" gamer but i'm too nice and don't want to be mean Out Loud so that's good THGBJ i like the stress . somehow. I HOPE YOU CONTINUE ENJOYING!!!!!

okay uhh so we have a lot of games here. kinda?? my game library in my Head is huge but in my actual reality kind of but not really T__T so ofc there's final fantasy!! i like all 15 (and the upcoming 16th) and the spin offs but i definitely haven't played em all yet HSBDJHG 7, 10, 14, 15 i've played! we have 8, 9, 12, and 13 (kinda, doesn't work anymore T_T) >< also type 0 i think but idk </3 i blame/thank my dad's side esp for me w games/anime/ff HGBJSDH!! 14 is kind of obviously my fave game hehe <33

fire emblem!!! 3H is the one i've only played but i LOVE awakening and fates >_< and shadows of valentia!! i know that even less but i love the credits song which i've alrdy accidentally spoiled myself on and the characters i know!

OK SO UHM. there's a lot we have that i haven't actually played so i won't go too much into depth q-q but god of war, xcom, last of us, uhhhhh wait okay

from ones i've played a bit!! or tried to play a bit!! or know outside of actually playing >< drakenier (3, automata, replicant! 3 is. kinda uh sus but i rlly like it and wna know more in the future. we have automata but i haven't played... i LOVE it sm tho and it's just so good,, & the raids in ffxiv i love SDHGJHA and the small spoilers ik </3 replicant same feelings as automata but we don't have it </3) + ghost of tsushima (i played a bit and it's a beautiful game!!) + uh. AH YES soulsborne (okay these kind of games make me scared. i tried to play bloodborne thrice and chickened and i don't actually have or want the guts to not Chicken BUT. I WANT TO HEAR THE MUSIC. and be challenged by the hard gameplay so sometime,, also we have ds3!! i want elden ring/sekiro rlly badly tho ><) + uhh what else. help OAAAAHH THE WITCHER!! okay we have 3 i. meant to start it a bit ago but then ffxiv took my time again SBDGHJH but i love the series!! just close my eyes at times!! i love the witcher man. and there's horizon zero dawn which i've played for quite a while but i'm def not TOO far into it,, it seems like open world isn't rlly my type T___T

i forgot the others. help. SAHGBJH okay from the ones i've finished or play/ed a lot!! persona <3 i like 3 and 4 but dk well yet :(( i love 5 tho!! such a good game, esp w royal <3 anddd then uh. uhm. HJHBF HELP i've barely finished games tbh T___T but <33 UHHH i like cod too! mario! OH MY GOD SUPER MARIO ODYSSEY!!! and other games oh man T~T

I FORGOT FALLOUT EXISTS HELP okay i’m like. really There in fallout shelter but i don’t play anymore </3 fallout 4 and las vegas we have!! i’m scared to play 4!! but yes!! i also feel terrible for forgetting skyrim holy shit i mostly just watched my dad/sis play until i actually started playing myself. i’m a coward and i admit that but that game is my CHILDHOOD... cuphead is also rlly cool i have just played REALLY little myself but <33 animal crossing is rlly cute!! i love new horizons!! also assassins creed!! we have odyssey which i played a bit but it makes me scared to play too ngl!! devil may cry and metal gear rlly interest me but no games or experience playing :(( love the music and memes tho <3

uh. minecraft was my childhood FOR REAL. i played a bit of mass effect then stopped but i’ll cont when i have time. somehow. HSDBGJH ik it’s rlly good !! LEGO GAMES WERE MY CHILDHOOD TOO... my only 100%. man. i fought so much w my twin over those games it’s absolutely hilarious. dragon age is cool i love inquisition soundtrack but i played a bit of origins and then stopped bcs i got stuck and it’s so ANNOYING... red dead redemption 2 i havent played but <333 resident evil is cool but horror. goodbye. GSHGBFBSD AND OH GOD I FORGOT I ONCE PLAYED A BIT OF GTA5. i stopped bcs it rlly was too much even for me who doesn’t mind swearing. i stole cars and did a bit of story and thn stopped i will never forget the man who opened my car door in the road and i drove off HABJGH ... i forgot what other games i’ve played or have or am interested in this is so much oh god . OH GOD WAIT I FORGOT KINGDOM HEARTS EXISTED HELP that series is so weird but means so much to me weirdly. i rmbr so clearly playing literally the first bit of the game. by first bit i mean literally probably just the first hour or less. and i never got past that bcs i never got to a save but then had to stop playing over and over again but wld always go back and play it AAA kh1!!! and thn kh3 i borrowed and man... <3 i love that game and somehow understood and enjoyed even if it’s literally the ending of a saga i think and i never played the rest HELP

i once again lost track of time it’s almost 5 am oh my god i have to get up before 10. BDHGBD i’LL PROBABLY STOP HERE THEN....... i hope you don’t feel like you have to read everything i’m just rlly Yay you asked and uhm enabled me WHEEZE i love rambling but also i do it a lot but also not that much T___T i genuinely do hope this isn’t annoying though! ^^ not in a like Oh i’m annoying way but in a like. this might actually seriously be A Lot JHGSDJHG

i actually barely know anything about golden sun!! but i searched it up rq and rmbrd i’m interested in dragon quest + diablo + castlevania too !! super mario galaxy was my childhood even tho me and my twin barely did anything bcs we were cowards. HELP. we fought too bcs i shaked the controller and then the stars went everywhere and escaped so she got angry at me. why did i even do that what. ANWAYS UHM IDK WHAT i’M EVEN TALKING ABT ANYMORE HELP gran turismo also interests me!! bcs of my dad >< OH MY GOD I FORGOT i also finished littlebigplanet 3!! it was so annoying w my twin /pos!!! we fought also. man. i love twins they suck (affectionate)

i feel like there’s still more i’m forgetting hm but idk. not gna say stuff about ffxiv bcs that’ll be a lot more rambling I’M SO SORRY. also no mobile games orrr free games uhhh there’d be a lot too. help. BUT UHM YES if you do ever someday properly play ff and fe i’d be really happy but pls /nf !!! and i hope you do enjoy if ever!! <3 tbh i’m a bit >:( when it comes to some stuff abt specifically uhh 7 13 15 and 3h but generally i still love them lots <3 personally i’d def rec xiv even if you aren’t a fan of mmorpgs bcs it’s def an rpg first >< also imo the best final fantasy overall!! even best mmo and def one of the best stories i’ve ever seen ,, BJSDHBG but from the single players, it’s a bit depending on your taste but safe best for sure is 9! overall i’d say the best, from what i’ve heard :O below 7 is not 3d yet but i’m biased to 3 bcs of 14, for reasons, and 4 is <3! and 6 def has prolly the best story from what i’ve heard if not for 14!! 8 is heavily romance based ?? but i personally love the themes sm >< 7 is rlly famous and probably the biggest franchise in the ff franchise :O if you ignore ffxiv HJBHDG! i’d def rec it too <3 10 is my first and rlly special to me and i’d def rec it too for sure!! 12 is more political but personally i love it. havent playe dbut uhm yes. tactics i’ve heard is incredibly good ^^ i barely know it. barely being a bit of an understatement uhhh ik some of the story!! yes!! okay squints that’s all i can talk abt rn help it just turned 5 JBGDHJGB ALSO I’M INTERESTED IN OMORI I ALMOST FORGOT!! horror scares me but ik omori is rlly good <3 i’m just watching bcs i might waste money on not playing if i buy it myself <//3 ^^

GN ANNIE!! or good morning. help. HBGSHDBGJ THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN BTW AND SORRY HELP rambling tho helped clear my head more so aaaa <33 ^^

BUT B4 I STOP FOR REAL i just want to advertise rq BUT NO FORCED /nf /nf /nf SERIOSULY it just makes me happy to do this WHEEZE but ffxiv has a rlly good free trial!! lowkey want to send u stuff no spoilers tho and see what wld convince u to play but do be truthful abt it all uhh yes yes gn >< WHEEZEHBGSHJ it’s available on all platforms basically! not like. switch or mobile tho aaaaa T___T </3 but playstation, mac, steam, pc... ^^ it’s pretty time consuming but it’s an experience i’d definitely recommend!! also no time restrictions for free trial :O so yeah >;D

[sk3tch404]

A Bit About Me !

My name is Nana/Danni, 16, long black hair, 5'5, tan complexion and I'm Hmong/southeast asain.

I love being active as much as I like being on the internet lolz. (Even tho im never active atm). Stan Red Velvet and stream Mitski 😻😼

My hyperfixations will be one huge thing that I will obsess over, but there might be some inconsistency with fandoms bc I keep looking back on old pictures and works.

I like to dress like Jesse Pinkman 🙏🏼 My fashion icon fr

My favorite color is purple 💜

My interest in obessive and toxic behaviors is very strong as I also love learning new things. The psychology behind them and the various symptoms are very interesting. Though I do not condone them in any way, just know that this is a place where you can freely express your sfw fantasies into my drawings/writings!

P.S no one ever said the yandere community was ever romanticizing bpd in itself (Mostly talking abt us writers and whatnot. Personally I use yandere to kinda vent?? Idk I think I myself have bpd but I'm not diagnosed or am going to get diagnosed anytime soon for financial and personal reasons).

irl yandere isn't a thing, ur just mentally ill. Yandere is a dark fictional troupe that shoufld STAY fictional. They're just taboo fantasies.

Random media that is me when I exist (FLASH WARNING and maybe some strain??)

When Chrollo is so fucking real

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[sequoiajune]

what are your UTMV aus?

Okay so

I have like

Imma split this up

Various Published Fics

Behold, my AO3 account.

Overcurious - arguably my most popular. It is, fundamentally, an Error×Ink supernatural modern au, with a dose of plot. I haven't updatex it since August by pure virtue of procrastination, horrible interal clock measuring a month to the same scale a few days (etc. being like "oh it feels like I updated it a few~ days ago, it's fiinee" twenty days after i updated it), procrastination, distraction, overall lack of motivation, inability ro focus, inability to word, perfectionism, and anxiety (partially caused by the amount of notifications i got overnight for it, that first thing ive publicized in a while and the first to get ANY sort of significant comment feedback, and aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAA, that being said I do not regret publishing it at all becuz i met a lot of cool people and it made me rlly happy in the short run even if it sort of threw me off in the long run, and it's rlly happy and calming to look back at the comments and seeing me interacting with people, like a little while after publishing the second chapter i got into a fight with my mom, i don't even remember what it was about, but it hurt a lot at the time and i think i was crying and i calmed down and aaaaahhhh by rereading the comments becuz. Just. Not even what they were saying but seeing myself interacting so positively with people?? Idk if you knew this but because im homeschooled and awkward and tense i dont see other people my age a whole lot or in general (tho i do have some great irl friends) and i just, like, dont participate in a lot of stuff, tho mom prob wishes i would. It's a little odd but i find seeing myself, by reading internet conversations and things i did to make people happy like ChickenSmoothie and FR gifts and old texts, doing positive interaction because it's just like. Revisiting and seeing it, recorded and there- not memory but actually all there the same way i experienced it because that was literally It, exactly the same way i first had the conversation - just. really nice. Anyways im kind of oversharing and rambling again oops) and did i mention PROCRASTINATION, THE INABILIBTY TO FOCUS ON ANY ONE TRAIN OF THOUGHT FOR OVER FIVE SECONDS WITHOUT DYING, AND PERFECTIONISM? Still proud of this tho

It's not dead, it just sort of took a vacation from my head.

And on the bright side, i cant think oh it took this author so long to update >:( because i have no sense of time. (Also im not rude and insensitive or judgemental and can empathize with that) Example: the fics i met @parspicle on. Maybe it was a couple years ago they updated. Maybe a couple weeks. Maybe a couple days. Maybe a couple decades. Idk man, don't look at me. Idk if they will update again, but they updated some unspecified time ago and thats good enough for me, of course not saying that i dont want to see more. Just @ everyone whos fics i read, don't ever worry about how long it takes to update because i literally have no clue. At worst I won't see it because i got distracted something shiny.

Aaaahhh that had nothing to do with the fic im just rambling at this point.

Starmaps. Still into that idea, but again, other shiny stuff. Also I might want to revise or reorder the first chapter because depsite having a large portion of the story mapped out, (p)unintentional, I sort of wrote the first chapter on a casual whim without really thinking about lil details and how i want to go about it. On hold for now. Wrote the first chapter in my Hyperfixate on Nightmare and Cross, not necessarily as pair. Also Dream phase that may or may not have passed.

Trashy Families, Trashier Lives, and Trashiest Gremlin Nerds. Its a nightink royalty au, my brain is absolutely convinced it was super recent but apparently i publish it on October 22 and it's currently December 13th, over a month away? Time is wack. Anyways, i loved writing this and am proud of it, though i know less about whats going on than ive probably convinced all my readers. Probably a lot of subconscious inspiration from the dragon prince.

Mediums of Art and Error. It's an errink green eggs and ham au from when my bro got me to watch the netflix adaption with him. that's pretty much all the explanation needed, tbh.

So thats ao3. There's a few other things but I'll reblog with that to make sure that tumblr won't delete all of this when I press post becuz mobile

[sortagaysortahigh]

, i'm curious. how did you get into writing fanfiction? or what was your inspiration behind it? i have tried to get into writing fanfiction but i feel like i'm just so unexperienced and straight-forward and like not poetic at all, bc in most fanfiction i've read they describe everything so beautifully even if it's the nastiest thing ever. idk i just love your writing style

Honestly I've been writing fanfics for a really long time, and I just established my writing style this year and realized that I prefer writing in third person and using detail, grammatically incorrect dashes, commas, even some good ol fashion run on sentences (which ppl love to tell me about). A year ago I was still writing fics in second person and I realized that I hate it because I hate the way my fics sound when I overuse the word 'you' or feel like I'm stuck writing for one character and i found it difficult to describe the other characters or even the entire interaction and scene from second person, so I gave third a try and now I'm never going back to writing in 2nd person. I think the biggest thing about writing is knowing that we all start somewhere, I used to write shitty marvel fanfics about steve rogers when I was fifteen in second person and lemme tell you, they were so bad that I deleted everything before i deactivated that old blog.

I started writing because like many other fic writers, at a baseline level I'm a nerdy bitch who hyperfixates a lot. I gain a lot of my inspiration from ofc the shows/media that I write characters from, but also from music, movies, and even every day interactions I've seen or experienced. I'm like hey yk what this song kinda hits fr, but imagine an entire love story based on this song??? or when I watch a movie like 10 things I hate ab you I'm always like, a fic based on that poem or this concept would HIT and then if I wanna see it, I write it. A lot of writers write fics they'd want to read, or fics they think should've been written already and havent been, and that's the beauty of writing, your inspiration should always lie in what you enjoy and what you'd want to consume as a reader.

I think a huge misconception new writers have is that they should have an established writing style, or they should use a specific perspective (first, second, or third), or that they need to be poetic in their writing and use a ton of detail and describe every single bit of the characters appearances, actions, etc, but the truth is-you don't have to do any of that shit to write a good fic. Sure some people might appreciate it, and hell over time you're probably gonna become more comfortable doing that and exploring the realm of writing and expression through writing, but you don't need to be good at any of that off bat, nor do you need to include everything into your fics.

A lot of the popular fics you read or even the fics you see that you fall in love with on this hellsite or any other hellsite are written by writers who dont know what the fuck theyre doing half the time and anyone who denies that hasn't been writing for a long time. I literally second guess myself and my writing to the point that I don't read my entire finished fics ever, and if I do it's because I'm writing a part two or a series and I'm cringing the entire time like "bitch be fucking for real you deadass wrote this???" which is completely normal! You may not enjoy your first few fics that you've written and hell you might be incredibly insecure or even nervous about posting them, but like I always say-POST THEM. You will ALWAYS find someone who's willing to read what you've written, and you have a community of writers who are here to give you advice if you want it and if you ask for it. Not to be a broken record but everyone starts somewhere, and we all grow as writers the more we write, if you're afraid of sounding too straight forward or not poetic THATS OKAY! because this is where you're starting and the more you try different things w your writing, the more comfortable you get and then eventually you'll find your writing style. It took me YEARS to figure out mine, and even now I'm still changing some things up and trying new ways of describing things, people, actions, scenes, ect because we're constantly growing and changing as writers!

I hope this incredibly long spiel helped bby, just give it a try and don't lose faith in yourself by comparing yourself to other writers