#fre bullshit

[fresthered]

[thesightstoshowyou]

Wasteland Education

Cooper Howard (The Ghoul) x F Reader (NSFW)

Summary: You ask a question and the Ghoul is more than happy to give you a demonstration.

Warnings: Rope play, boot play, knife play, threats, it’s all a bit dubious

Thank you to @slasher-smasher for this brilliant prompt.

Gif by @fukutomichi

“Now this one right here is called a bowline knot. If ya’ do it right,” deft fingers loop and tighten the rope, “It ain’t gonna budge.”

“Tight—it hurts, it’s too—

“Don’t interrupt a man when he’s talkin’, sugar. Pay attention, now. There’s gonna be a test.” The Ghoul stands, end of the rope in hand. Boots swish through sand as he stalks over to the rusted Chryslus. He anchors the rope to the hitch and tests its hold before returning to your struggling, supine form.

Your arms, now stretched over your head and secured to the car by your wrists, are lashed together with several feet of rope that dig into your flesh and rub it raw. Your left leg is bent at the knee, calf tethered to thigh. More rope twines around the limb, different knots punctuating each loop.

“Please, my leg is falling asleep—

“Keep it up and I’ll put one in your mouth,” he chides, crouching at your side. As you grunt and attempt to roll your ankle to work feeling back into your leg, your gaze lifts to the scarred face of the Ghoul. He watches you squirm, smug satisfaction in his expression. Behind him, the sunset blazes orange on the horizon. Wisps of cloud like pale pink fingers reach across the sky.

The heat of the day departs with the setting sun. A rapidly cooling breeze billows over dunes and blows loose grains of sand across your exposed skin. Goosebumps raise in quick succession along intricately tied limbs. You wear nothing but a tattered t-shirt and underwear, something you’d been told was “essential to the learnin’ process.”

The snide remark about your bullshit meter going haywire had landed you in your current predicament.

Eyes darkened by the brim of a hat slide over to your free leg. You suppress the urge to draw it up toward your chest and spare it the same numbing fate as its twin.

“I-I think I got it, we don’t have to do anymore,” you try, your shoulders beginning to ache with how they’re pulled taut over your head.

“You asked the question, baby. I’m just makin’ sure you get all the information you need.”

You curse your curiosity. Late afternoon had seen the Ghoul quietly organizing supplies, you lounging nearby and chomping on jerky. The meticulous way he’d looped his lasso had prompted your idiotic question: ‘Can you teach me how to tie knots like that?’ His response—the crooked smirk that pulled at the corner of his mouth—should have sent you running for the hills.

A gnarled hand grips your ankle. Calloused fingers trace the curve of your calf and slot behind your knee. Pressure forces your knee to your chest as the opposite hand reaches for another length of rope. The vulnerable position—thighs spread open, the Ghoul kneeling between them—brings heat to your cheeks and makes you swallow to lend moisture to your dry throat.

If he’s affected by your pose, he doesn’t show it. Instead, his focus is on the twine he circles around your knee. “Here, we’ll employ a slip knot. Easy to undo in a hurry.” The zip of the line reaches your ears as it’s pulled tight—too tight—just above your knee. Your hamstring protests the strain when your leg is hiked up. The Ghoul stands and strides over to the car hitch once more.

Unhurried footsteps muffled by sand herald his reappearance. The shredded duster brushes your skin as he steps over your newly strung up leg to stand between your splayed thighs.

“Hm, now look at that. Just needs a bow,” he purrs and you can’t help the nervous shifting of your shivering body. Pins and needles prick your limbs, your nerves screaming their demand for freedom. You’d beg if it wouldn’t make your situation worse.

The Ghoul lifts the toe of his boot and slides his heel forward to press the sole to your clothed cunt. You suck in a sharp inhale through your teeth and twitch, the muscles in your jaw popping to contain your indigence. However, all it takes is a swirl of his ankle to pull a pitiful little whimper from your throat. He keeps adding pressure until you’re bucking your hips and straining against your bonds, lips parted and panting, sweat chilling on your brow.

“As much as I’m enjoying the sight a’ ya’ humpin’ my boot like a cat in heat,” he announces, pulling his foot away and reaching for his knife, “All this racket yer makin’ s’gonna attract somethin’ I ain’t keen on dealin’ with.”

The blade gleams in the fading light when it slides free of its sheath. An anxious cry sticks in your throat as the Ghoul kneels near your left leg.

“Time for that final exam I promised. I’m gonna point to a knot and yer gonna tell me what it is. Every mistake’ll earn ya’—“ he raises the knife and twists it to and fro for emphasis, “—a correction.” Your chest heaves, pulse galloping, cold sweat sticking your hair to the back of your neck.

“It’ll be in yer best interest not to fuck up. There’s no shortage of critters out here who’ll come runnin’ at the scent of blood.”

[laundrybiscuits]

(soulmates AU: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3)

“You never told me your folks were soulmates," he says out of the blue. He'd meant to wait until it came up naturally or something, but they're just standing in awkward silence outside what the kids insist on calling the M&M house, waiting for the stupid dragon game to wrap up on the Munson side. He doesn't even know he's going to say it until it's already out there, sitting between them. 

Nancy says "Fuck," very quietly. Steve can't remember if she used to swear so much. He thinks not, but also, she was sixteen the last time he really felt like he knew her.

Steve’s tenth grade geometry teacher once told them: think about railroad tracks. That’s what parallel means, that there are two lines that never get closer together or farther away. No matter how long the railroad tracks get, there’s always exactly the same amount of space between them.

Now Steve thinks maybe that’s bullshit, that you can’t keep going separate from someone else and stay the same distance apart. If you’re not together, if you don’t cling as hard as you can, then the distance between you is going to grow faster and faster until you can’t even see the other person. 

He thinks maybe he doesn’t know Nancy at all anymore. 

Nancy smooths down her skirt in a nervous gesture he doesn’t recognize. “You’ve met my parents, Steve. Did you really think that’s what I want?”

It’s the kind of question where he knows the right answer from the way she’s saying it, but he doesn’t know why. Yeah, he’s met Ted and Karen. He always thought they seemed happy enough. They’ve got three kids, so they have to be happy, right? 

But he’s starting to think that Nancy—the new Nancy, how she is now—might not want to be happy. Or at least that it might not be the most important thing to her, compared to everything else she always talked about. Now that he’s thinking about it for real, he can’t really see her stepping into her mom’s shoes, never really doing anything but chasing after kids and power-walking around the mall. 

Shit, is he the Ted Wheeler in this scenario? Not that there’s anything wrong with Ted, but—wow, okay, he’s starting to understand Nancy’s reaction. 

He hasn’t said anything for a little while, and Nancy sighs. “Steve, I’m sorry, I can’t…”

“It’s fine, Nance,” he says. He even thinks he means it, this time. 

———

“Do you think she’s going to get a cover-up, like Eddie?”

Robin squints at him. “I think she’s the only one who can answer that.”

“Sure, okay, but I can’t ask her because I’ve decided I’m not gonna bring this shit up around her anymore. It’s called tact, Robin.”

“Fuck off, I’m a million times more tactful than you could ever be.” She chucks a roll of NEW RELEASE stickers at him, which he dodges with a little spin, just to show off.

“Are you kidding me? Who was it that got out of a parking ticket last week just by talking to the cop?”

“Uh, who was it that expertly finessed us both jobs at Family Video just by talking to Keith?”

“You gotta stop bringing that up,” Steve groans. “That was like a whole year ago. Get some new material, Buckley.”

“Get us a new job, Harrington! One that pays more than this shit!”

“Nah, I’m gonna be a trophy husband to some rich old lady. That’s my new plan, now that I’m totally unattached.” It comes out pretty steady, he thinks.

She sidles up to him, awkward in the way she gets sometimes, and bumps their shoulders together. “Hey, you know you could totally find someone else, right? It doesn’t have to be…” She trails off, gesturing helplessly.

He tips his head back and stares at the ceiling. The fluorescent lights leave blurry ghosts on his eyelids when he blinks. 

Robin Buckley is the best friend he’ll ever have and does sometimes actually know what tact is, so she just tips her head against his shoulder and stares at the ceiling with him in silence until the next customer comes in. 

———

“You can never, ever tell Steve this.” Nancy’s voice is just barely audible from the front step, and Steve freezes. He snatches his hand back from where he’d been reaching for the doorbell.

“Cross my heart, et cetera, Wheeler.” Eddie sounds lazy, like he doesn’t even care.

“It’s crazy, but I used to feel really—happy. About the soulmark. I mean, it’s every girl’s dream, right? The cutest guy in school with her name on his wrist.”

“Can’t say I relate.” 

Nancy lets out a strangled laugh and Steve silently shuffles as close as he dares, shutting his eyes like that’ll help him hear better or something.

“I know, Eddie, that’s why I’m…I don’t know what changed. I don’t know why that stopped being enough for me. I second-guess myself all the freaking time now, and I hate that! I remember the way it felt when it turned out Steve was actually really sweet, and sometimes I just want to—to crawl back inside that feeling, except it’s not real. I know it’s not real.”

“You sure about that? Doth the lady not protest too much?”

“I’m sure.”

She hadn’t even hesitated. Steve’s nails are cutting into his palms. He feels dizzy with how quick she’d answered; how calm she’d sounded. 

It hits him, then, that it’s actually over, like for real. Maybe he really is an idiot, because it’s been years, and he thought he’d already known that. Turns out there’d been a stupid little corner of hope in him after all.

He tunes back in to hear Eddie say, “Okay, okay, you don’t gotta convince me, Wheeler. If you end up deciding to, y’know, take the plunge…yeah, I can hook you up. But no rush, okay?”

Steve turns around and walks down the drive, all the way around the corner to where he’s parked. Dustin’s stretched all the way across the seats, head poking out of the driver’s side window, squinting in the afternoon sun.

“Is Eddie coming to the arcade with us?” Dustin yells.

“He’s busy, leave him alone,” says Steve.

[cursedvibes]

https://x.com/kostivedae/status/1800896107381399973?t=83v6yYC4Prw9yz_9NYZaYA&s=19

what do you think of this.....theory thread...?

i somehow can't make sense of it despite how well-researched it seems

Agree with you. They make some interesting points and there are some things that could form a good basis for some other stuff, but the basic premise of "Yuki is 500 years old and merged with Tengen in the 1500s" I just don't see supported by canon. After reading the thread, I saw that they're the person who made that infamous thread about Womb Profusion being Geto's domain and that explains some stuff. Would say though that their Yuki thread at least makes more sense than that and most of the time they don't just pull conclusions out of thin air.

Gonna go through some of what they say:

So the basic premise is that Yuki merged with Tengen in the past, overpowered her and broke free.

We don't know if Riko would've been able to hear the voices of the other vessels because she never got close to Tengen. Yuki only ever brings up hearing the voices when she's right in front of Tengen. For example, she also doesn't know for sure about other Star Plasma Vessels that are still around (like when Riko died) unless she specifically seeks them out, so this also suggest she can't hear them long-distance. I don't think this works across several hundred meters, much less kilometres. Also even if that was the case, Yuki is a sorcerer and has extensive knowledge of the soul, Riko is not. An incident might've triggered Yuki's event, who knows, but I don't think she's always aware of those voice and Riko wouldn't of course be either because she never had any contact with Tengen and she was also not trained in any control of cursed energy or perception of her own soul.

Also I wouldn't say the connection between Yuuji and Sukuna is all that relevant here. Sukuna can sense his other fingers because it's part of his soul. Just how Tengen is aware of when a new Star Plasma Vessel is born. So that kind of connection exists between Yuki and Tengen because Yuki is literally designed to be a genetic match to Tengen. However factually, we have no evidence, that the resonance Todo mentions even exists, it's just speculation on his part. They took precautions, but actually Sukuna has no idea about their plans or even the training they went through, which he would know if this resonance was as strong as Todo suggests. Neither Yuuji nor Sukuna know what the other was up to during the timeskip though.

Yes, it's very likely that her experiences of being a Star Plasma Vessel and being able to hear the other Star Plasma Vessels caused her to invest in research of the soul and cursed energy, hoping to some day free the trapped vessels or get rid of Tengen in some other way. There were more cases of more than one soul inhabiting one body, the many cursed objects Kenjaku made and sealed inside people. Yuki didn't know about that though.

Like...you literally just said Yuki can hear the other vessels voices, so obviously she based her research on that because it told her that what Tengen says is bullshit. It seems once the vessel is suppressed, the host is never aware of them as Choso can't feel his vessel either for example. Yuki has evidence to the contrary, so of course she investigated that. She is a special case because she shares a connection with the other Star Plasma Vessel (SPV) that doesn't exist between any other (potential) vessels. Only way it could be imitated is by becoming aware of your soul and able to perceive it on others like Yuuji and Mahito. Yuuji doesn't have an intrinsic connection to Magumi like Yuki has to the SPVs despite both being vessels, he has to actively pry Sukuna and Megumi's souls apart to reach them, so clearly SPVs are a special case.

OP assumes all this is due to a merger, but I don't see how this couldn't just be a natural connection between SPVs that always exists and Yuki was able to amplify.

So then we get to the "Yuki broke free after merging and is actually 500 years old" part. On that whole tangent about the name Tsukumo: yes, it seems to be a reference to her connection with Tengen and also the colour of her hair. Neat little thing, but I don't think this means Yuki is actually that old. Takaba's name Fumihiko has the words "history" and a historic version of "boy" in it. He isn't actually that old though. Yorozu is also not 10.000 years old. Names can connect to themes of the character, but they aren't always that literal.

I do think that the reason Tengen didn't merge with Yuki is because Yuki is simply to powerful and has quite a strong will too. Getting her to give up her life is much more difficult than with Riko for example because she doesn't seem indoctrinated into Tengen's philosophy and she also has a means to defend herself, very different from Riko, who doesn't have a cursed technique or any other way of standing up against Tengen unless someone helps her. With all of OPs explanations I still don't see why she has to be 500 years old. It makes more sense to me that Star Plasma Vessels appear around the time span when Tengen's body gradually gets close to evolving. Exact years don't seem to matter, which makes sense since we're talking about quite big timespans. Plus, we know there are always multiple SPVs around. Nothing speaks against Yuki just being a SPV that was ready for merging 20-25 years ago and Tengen decided she was too much of a hassle and instead waited for a better vessel to appear, which would be Riko, who was the ideal choice. Even 10 years after Riko's death Tengen is still holding on relatively fine, so I don't know why she can't just wait another decade or two after Yuki didn't work out for a better vessel to come along.

Then they say that this is somehow evidence of Yuki having merged in the past?? She is criticizing Tengen's philosophy of "come what may" and positioning herself as some enlightened being that is much wiser than Yuki, Kenjaku or any SPV. Yes, Yuki compares herself to a great sage or bodhisattva and that might also refer to the monkey king (there are more people with the title 大聖 than just him), but what does that have to do with the merger exactly? They aren't talking about that. Even if she compares herself to the monkey king who wrecked the heavens, it's clearly to mock Tengen. Idk, connecting this to some nebulous merger that happened 500 years ago seems like quite a stretch to me.

They acknowledge that it is strange that Yuki looks so young if she's 500 years old. Their answer is that she got Immortality from Tengen and it just happens to work very differently for her than Tengen...yeah not the best argument. There are differences between how people use the same cursed technique or how it manifests, but in this case it would get rid of the very fundamental aspect of Immortality that is that Tengen ages and it will not lead to death but a change in her body at some point. Yuki would then just be immortal period and it doesn't seem like she experiences changes in her body either. That's a much bigger difference than Yuuji having some "cut here" marks when using Cleave.

Even if Yuki was 500 years old and broke free from Tengen after a merger, how would Kenjaku not catch wind about any of this? They would for sure notice if Tengen merged again, they killed the infant SPV and six eyes around that time after all, so they were especially alert. Also I assuming Yuki regaining control and splitting from Tengen would mess Tengen up pretty badly and put her in quite a vulnerable position. Yet nobody ever mentions such a severe event, neither Tengen, Kenjaku or Yuki. Yuki would then also already be familiar with Kenjaku, since she would've known about their attacks on SPVs in the past. But she didn't.

Minor thing, but while I wouldn't doubt that Yuki could break through to Tengen's body if she really wanted to and was ready to destroy the entire tomb as well as her body in the process, OP makes it sound way too simple. If you read the pages they so helpfully provided, you see that TCBs translator theorizes that Kenjaku was thrown outside the barrier, but didn't actually break through to the next stage. Plus, the barrier was reassembled afterwards as we see. Even if Yuki breaks a wall/edge of the sunyata barrier, that wouldn't necessarily bring her closer to Tengen or in that instance she would've punched Kenjaku straight through to Tengen's body, which would be a bit counterproductive to the plan they had right? It would've benefited Kenjaku more than her. The sunyata barrier as well as the concealing barrier operate on illusions and multiple layers. Just punching through it won't work.

I talked about this before and I agree that the clothes of the second SPV don't match the time (1500s) she should've merged in. Gege is also usually quite good with historically accurate clothes like in Kashimo's flashback for example. If it's not historically accurate, it's usually an intentional decision like Sukuna's clothes (or lack thereof) and Uraume's haircut in the Heian era.

Tengen says her body is now 500 years old, but the merger with the second vessel could have only happened around the 1600s, likely around their end because we know the fight between the Gojo Clan had with six eyes and the Zenin Clan head was 400 years ago. It would make sense that Kenjaku killing the infant Star Plasma Vessel and the consequent reincarnation would mess some things up with the timeline, but it shouldn't be by this much. It's true that the kimono and also hairstyle would point more towards Meiji or even Taisho era than late Muromachi or early Edo period. Also even with the six eyes reincarnating in the 1600s that makes it seem like Kenjaku waited decades between the infanticide and actually showing up at the Tomb of Stars, which is strange. I think this speaks more towards Tengen merging late (because she did clearly merge with someone who's not Yuki) than merging with Yuki 500 years ago. Because again, Kenjaku would've noticed that and also the death of the infant SPV + Kenjaku trying to run in Tengen's doors for centuries wouldn't be news to Yuki.

I would say this might be a case of Gege maybe stretching things a bit with the historical accuracy because that vessel being from the 1800s just makes no sense and also Tengen wasn't entirely truthful when she said her body is 500 years old (because of when the Gojo clan head lived). Squeezing Yuki in there somewhere makes even less sense.

This is just wrong though. The first SPV is dressed like a Heian era commoner. I can understand not knowing that because it's hard to find references for commoner clothes of that era, but honestly the headdress looks nothing like the cap they show here. It's a bit weird that they go into this so much when it would make little sense for this vessel to also be from the Meiji period. It doesn't underline their point of Yuki being 500 years old and having merged, then broken free either. It would only mess up the timeline further.

If Tengen was so unstable from having lost her vessel and also having been forcefully overpowered, why did Kenjaku not take advantage of that? Why was Yuki not already on their radar if she has power like that? Why did Tengen and the higher-ups keep Yuki around when she was clearly a serious threat to Tengen and also hostile towards her?

As for the last couple of tweets...cool fun facts I guess, but they don't really come off as more than some symbolism that I don't think is that deep (like for example the chequered pattern...). Finally, they say Yuki merged with Tengen in the Meiji era. Which is also the time they say the two other SPVs before Riko are from. So Tengen just changed rapidly between three people somewhere in the 1800s-1900s before Riko? And she still looks that old and is close to evolving? The "Tengen merges every 500 years and that's when SPVs and six eyes show up" means nothing now I guess? And also they weren't accompanied by any six eyes users to protect them.

I am very interested in Yuki's history with Tengen and think Gege left a lot of potential on the floor by killing her so early before digging deeper into the whole SPV business (although I think we will likely learn more when we get to the Heian flashbacks of Tengen, Kenjaku and Sukuna). Props for doing research, even if I think a lot of it is unnecessary and only obfuscates their point, and some tangents in isolation are interesting, but I don't think their theory makes much sense.

[lance420xd]

The first night to remember…

Tobias Erin Rodgers. The famous serial killer known for committing mass arson and the murder of his father. He has not been found since he mysteriously vanished with no trace…

“S-Shu-Shit!” Toby cursed out, his Tourette’s getting the best of him. He carried his hatchet through the woods trying not to make sound as he thought the police were hot on his trail. Sometimes the hatchet would bounce off a root when he would occasionally drag it and cut his calf. He didn’t mind. He couldn’t even feel it. As he trudged through the woods looking for shelter he stepped on something odd. When he stepped on it, it clinked. Of course, he thought it was some sort of beer can or another piece of trash which wasn’t rare in his area. People throw trash in the street all the time. Sometimes even glass bottles, something reminiscent of his childhood. The first time he went on a walk with his sister. Toby was about 3 or 4 from his recollection and he wore the cutest little sandals. While he was walking, he fell in the ditch and cut his foot on a broken whiskey bottle. Lyra carried him back home and bandaged his wound. Oh, how he missed her… He refocused himself and kept walking. However, it was that same clinking noise. He looked down and realized he was walking on scrap metal. “S-Scrap m-muh…metal?” He whispered to himself, kicking some leaves off of it. It was an advertisement for a… pizzeria? Out here? There’s no way a pizzeria is back there! Right? Toby knows everything around here. He kept walking. He walked until he arrived in a parking lot. Looking up, he sees… The pizzeria. It had a bear on it and it said something like, “Freddy Fazbears Pizza.”

“F-Freddy… F-fuh… Fazbear?”

Toby stuttered and hunched over as a tic.

He goes up to the door and breaks the cracked glass. It didn’t matter if he got hurt; like I said, he couldn’t feel it. He has a rare condition called CIPA. Anyway, he walks into the building. It had a nostalgic smell, It’s like his father’s alcohol that spilled on the 3 week old pizza which was about to start growing mold. As he walks further in, it was filled with old arcade games and left behind tables, cups and silverware, and… A stage. He peeks behind the curtain and freezes.

“W-What… Wh-What are you?”

He pulls the curtain back, revealing 3 animatronics of a bear, bunny, and chicken. “Huh… Y-You must be-be Fr-Fre-Freddy, hm?” Toby asked as if the bear was a person as he chuckled softly, like he didn’t just set his neighborhood on fire, killing his father with the hatchet he carried. He turned his attention towards another, smaller curtain that says “Pirates Cove!” on it.

He moved the curtain back on Pirates cove and sees a fox animatronic, designed to look like a pirate.

“T-The ‘P-Puh… Pirate’s C-Cove’ really makes sen-sense now, heh…”

He chuckled again and went to explore more. Toby found his way to the back of the building, where the security guard should be. Yet, there was no security guard. No wonder he could just… break in. He turns on the computers and cameras. As he did, a VHS player starts, explaining the security guard job.

“D-Dammit. I’m-I’m not starting a job…”

Toby cussed out as he dropped his hatchet, watching the video anyways. It was only about 11 PM, so the, what the VHS called “night guard’s”, shift started in about an hour. He watched the video, bored out of his mind. He decided he’ll do it, out of pure boredom. Toby went to the locker, put the uniform on, and sat in front of the cameras. “D-Damn th-this limited power… B-Bullshit.” He snarled under his mask. He checked the first camera. The stage. “W-What?! Where’s the rabbit?!” He yelled and checked around, seeing it in the hallway. He peeked out the door, watched it walk closer as he hid inside, closing the door and checking the light. It stood there. Staring. “F-Fuck off… Y-You c-crackwhore r-ra…rabbit.” This bullshit of checking the cameras, closing and opening the doors, checking the animatronics kept on until 5 AM… Then, he checked the camera showing the Pirate Cove. The fox was about to start going down the hallway. Toby thought that fox will start walking like the others until he checked again. He looked at the hallway camera and the fox was running. It ran… He slammed the door closed and he could hear banging and scratching. Toby never got scared of… anything other than his dad. But this… this was different. The little alarm clock hit 6 AM and made this little bell noise. It was like, celebration music. He grabbed his axe, opened the door, and ran out. He held his axe like he is going to swing at anything coming in front of him. As he ran outside, he realized it was day out… He can’t go out with cops looking for him…

(Part 2??)

Suggested by @coquetteraccoon

[azar-rosethorn]

5 Robots 2 Humans - A Dysfunctional Family (A Post-SB FNAF Peaceful Au)

Season 1 Episode 1 - The Dawn of a New Era

Summary: A "Pilot" to set the stage. The Pizzaplex and the Animatronics get rebuilt, Gregory gets adopted, and Vanny is disposed of or is she.

Rated T for swearing and typical FNAF violence

AO3 Fic

Episodes 2, 3, 4

Vanny and that melted demonic rabbit were gone. The virus was gone. The Pizzaplex was free. The animatronics were free. Gregory was free.

So, what now?

First of all, this calls for some very well deserved screaming.

"FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCKKKKK!" Gregory screamed at the top of his lungs. He couldn't care less about Freddy scolding him for his language in the background. That child has been hunted, bruised, burned, and has seen stuff you could not even dream of. Gregory will scream whatever he wants, as long as he wants, because he is tired of this bullshit.

"Gregory!" Freddy reprimanded, "Watch your language, young man! I-" Freddy cut himself off when Gregory gave him a look of 'Really? That's what you're worried about?' And Freddy got the point, given what the kid has been through.

"Uh, you know what? I'll give you a pass for today." He patted Gregory's head. "You deserve it, Superstar, after…" The bear slowly turned to look around the lobby of the Pizzaplex. Just seven hours ago, it was a wonderland of lights, music, and joy. Where did it all go so, so wrong? How did this safe haven for children become such a rotten hell?

"NOOOOOO!!! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!!!"

Okay, I wasn't actually expecting an answer for that, Freddy thought.

Vanny burst into the lobby, looking burned up in some places. She was holding a large knife in one hand and some sort of remote control in the other. Instinctively, Freddy jumped in front of Gregory to guard him and readied himself for a fight. Gregory mimicked the animatronic's combat stance to defend himself.

"I WILL FUCKING GUT YOU YOU PIECE OF-"

Thonk!

Vanny's threats were cut off as she was knocked out from behind. As the woman fell to the ground, Vanessa came into sight, holding her heavy flashlight like she just swung it. The security guard sat on Vanny's legs and pinned her hands behind her back to keep her from getting away.

"Freddy, use your emergency comms and get the police over here!" Vanessa ordered. Freddy obliged. "Gregory, who is this woman?"

"I…." Gregory was shocked. Vanny and Vanessa were two different people? "I thought she was you! Y-you guys m-messed with th-the robots and you were g-gonna…" Gregory couldn't take it anymore. He crouched into a little ball on the floor and broke down sobbing. Freddy knelt down beside the little boy and reached out an arm to pat him on the back.

"Shhh… shh… let it all out, Gregory. It's okay, I'm here, Superstar. You're safe, now." Gregory cried even more, leaning into the bear's touch and practically falling onto his shoulder. Freddy and Vanessa exchanged a sympathetic glance.

After about 3 minutes, Gregory pulled himself together and stood up. "I'm okay now, Fre-"

"FREDDY MERCURY FAZBEAR!!"

Everyone cocked their heads to the sudden call. In the same entry way that Vanny came in, three broken and busted up animatronics limped through. Well, two did. Monty was being carried on Roxy's shoulders due to his lack of legs.

"YOU HAVE TEN GODDAMN SECONDS TO EXPLAIN WHY I WOKE UP IN A BURNING BUILDING BLIND AND TORN UP!!!" Roxy screamed.

"What the- ARE THOSE MY HANDS!?!?" Monty added, looking to the claws that Gregory put on Freddy. "AND ROXY'S EYES?!?!"

Chica also yelled something incoherent, but it was probably something to do with the fact that Freddy had her voice box.

"YOU TOOK MY EYES??" Roxy shrieked, "WHY I OTTA-" Chica and Monty had to physically restrain Roxy from turning Freddy to scrap metal.

"Okay everybody settle down!" Vanessa interrupted. "Now, Freddy, Gregory, what the hell happened??"

~~~

"So, ma'am, you're telling me that this woman," The cop pointed to the backseat of the police car where Vanny was glaring at the Pizzaplex, handcuffed. "Kidnapped all those missing people, brought them down underneath this place, and killed them. Is that right?"

Vanessa nodded. "That's correct, officer."

The cop turned to Gregory. "And you were gonna be her next victim?"

Gregory nodded. "Vanny broke into the animatronics' systems and made them go after me. Well, except for Freddy. He helped me! But, with the others…" Gregory pointed to the Pizzaplex entryway, where the Glamrocks were sharing hugs and apologies. "I was able to defend myself."

The cop stared at the animatronics wide-eyed, and leaned over to Vanessa. "He did that?"

The security guard nodded. "Check the cameras if you don't believe him."

"Might just have to do that. Do either of you need medical attention?" Vanessa shook her head. "Good. Now, we just need to ask that you two come downtown so we could ask you just a few more questions." They both agreed and stepped into a separate cop car from Vanny.

~~~

Freddy gave Gregory a wave as he saw the child enter the car. Gregory waved back and sent a message to Freddy through his Fazwatch.

"Don't worry, Freddy. I'll be back by tonight. No matter what."

Freddy chuckled. Mostly because he knew it was true. That kid was quite the stealthy one, and if he wanted to be somewhere, he'd get there.

"So uh… are we gonna get repaired anytime soon?" Roxy asked, "Because I really would like to start seeing again."

"Roxy, I'm over here," said Freddy, "You're talking to a street lamp. And, yeah, I haven't heard anything from the company or the STAFF bots yet, so… Come on, I'll take you guys down to Parts and Service and give the workers a head start."

"I still don't know why Vee decided to get the cops instead of just letting us deal with that Vanny gal," Monty commented as they headed inside, "I woulda shown her for makin' us hurt a kid and gettin' my legs chopped off." He muttered something else under his breath that nobody could quite make out.

"Monty, if we had killed Vanny, we wouldn't have anyone to place the blame on, and the company would most likely scrap us," argued Freddy. Monty growled and mumbled in response.

"That kid, Gregory…" said Roxy, "Do you know who he is? Where's his family?"

Freddy shook his head. "His guest profile was unrecognizable, and when my systems tapped into the internet, he was a complete ghost. That kid's just as much a mystery to me as he is to you. He's a good kid, though. I hope he gets back to his family safely."

~~~

"Okay, we have your statements, you two are free to go." Vanessa and Gregory exited the police station and they called a taxi back to the Pizzaplex. The ride was awkwardly silent until Vanessa decided to break it.

"Gregory, where are your parents?"

The boy took a breath, avoiding eye contact before answering.

"I don't have any. I've lived at an orphanage my whole life."

"I see. So, how exactly did you get into the Pizzaplex?"

Gregory turned to her and gave her a small smile. "If I tell you, I won't be able to do it again."

Vanessa laughed at the little gremlin. He must've worn the orphanage workers out. Gregory joined in on the laughing.

"Hey, Ms. Vanessa?" Gregory asked when the laughing died down.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think… maybe Freddy could adopt me?"

Vanessa didn't know what to say. Gregory had found a home in Freddy. Hell, that bear had probably given him more love than any other adult he'd ever met combined. But, Freddy was an animatronic. He was property of Fazbear Entertainment and the Mega Pizzaplex. He wasn't a human being with legal documents and legal rights to adopt a child.

But… who was she to deny such an extraordinary child of a home and a parent?

"I'm afraid not, Gregory," she answered, "You can only be adopted by a human, it's impossible for Freddy to adopt you."

Gregory's head turned to the ground. "Oh," was all he said, staring at his shoes. "Well, I guess I'll just have to keep sneaking back in, huh?" he joked.

After a quick moment of thinking it over, the conclusion of which being Eh, fuck it, what could go wrong? Vanessa put her hand on Gregory's shoulder and gave him a wide smile.

"I said it was impossible for him." She said, giving Gregory a wink.

It took Gregory a minute to realize what she meant, and when he did, the boy waved his hands gently. "Oh, no! I didn't mean that, Vanessa! You don't have to! Especially after all the trouble I caused last night."

"Gregory, you were a child that had to be in fight or flight mode the whole night against a possessed serial killer and her robot army! I hold no grudges whatsoever. Plus, I could give you an entry pass to the Pizzaplex in the daytime and you could come to work with me at night, so you'll probably see Freddy more than me. I'll just give you your basic necessities and unless you'd like me to do some, Freddy could do all of the parenting stuff."

Gregory's eyes and smile widened as he nodded vigorously and kicked his legs. "Really?! You'd do that, Vanessa?!?!"

Vanessa nodded. "Also, Gregory, call me Vee."

~~~

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, the one, the only, Freddy Fazbear!!"

It's been 3 months since the Vanny Virus, and things couldn't be better. Vanessa had full legal custody of Gregory, the animatronics and the Pizzaplex had been repaired, and there wasn't a frown in sight as the music played and everyone, human and animatronic alike, were rocking out and having fun at Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex!

Well… almost everyone…

You know how I said there wasn't a frown in sight? Well, there definitely was one out of sight. A big one. An angry one

A vengeful one.

[spotsupstuff]

Do you know any other LMK artists that don't ship sh@dowp3ach and views the two as either brothers or former friends (like how the show canonically portrays them)?

At this point, it's kind of getting annoying that the vast majority ships them, the other day my friends and I got harassed by a die hard shipper lecturing us on how we shouldn't ship them with female characters (or female oc's) because of some lie they're trying to put about them being canonically gay and in love.

oh damn it has gotten to That kinda point?? das impressively horrid ! welcome to the sufferers club, i am offerin u bread in sympathy-based solidarity ✊😔

uhhh.... the ONLY artists i can recall as of now is @/aceiinspacee and afaik from my insider knowledge @/journeytomonkiekid's Mac isn't actually supposed to be romantically affiliated with SWK (but yanno, Vix's comic ain't bout them but it's Something to consume without havin to worry bout the shdwpch presence) @/fre-dream might be worth a mention ? they don't really draw stuff with the monkeys, rather focusing on their OCs but i'm like solid 95% sure they don't necessarily pair up the two anymore i recommend checkin out @/forgettin-my-legos just cuz they don't ship the thing n even tho they aint really active rn i have a soft spot for 'em n they make me smile when they pop up in my notifs

other peeps i'd recommend would be @/sun-wukongs-peaches (not an artist n he ain't in the LMK fandom anymore exactly cuz of the shdwpch bullshit, but he Used to be so if u scroll down enough u might find some leads to shdwpch-free stuff) n then ofc @/sketching-shark (main blog, but they offer some really fun insights, they post drawings from time to time [i'd more credit them to jt/tw itself over LMK tho] n just like s-wks-peaches they reblog strictly non-romantic stuff so if u r willin to dig u might find smth) and @/ar-blackshaw is also not on the hog ship train

[autistic-fandom-trash]

jongerrymichaelmartimsasha, a ship with so many characters that it probably only exists in my brain: incorrect quotes edition!

Martin, standing at the top of the staircase: What are you guys doing at the bottom of the stairs? Tim: I accidentally fell down. Gerry: MICHAEL PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS BECAUSE I REFUSE TO PAY ITS PART OF OUR RENT! Sasha: Tim bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than he did falling down it, so I slid down the banister to get my money. Jon: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Sasha. ----- Tim: *Posts an extremely low-quality image to the gourpchat* Gerry: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have $0.15. Tim: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you. Jon: Actually, I did the math, Gerry would have $225, not $0.15. Gerry: Fam, I'm right here... Martin: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Tim: Can you buy me an apply juice while you're there? Martin: Sorry, I only have a dollar. Tim: :( Jon: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Gerry would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent. Martin: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice. Jon: You could buy anything you want with &22,500. Sasha: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice. Jon: Apply juice to what? Michael: Directly to the forehead. Gerry: Great chat everyone. ----- Sasha: What did you get Jon for his birthday? Tim: I got him a cat. Sasha: Really? Me too! Michael: I also got him a cat. Martin: Looks like we had the same idea. Tim: Gerry, please tell me you didn't also get him a cat. Gerry:...I got him a cat. *Later* Jon, crying, surround by cats: This is the best birthday ever! ----- Tim: We have a problem. Jon: Let me guess, you caused it? Gerry: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this bullshit yet. Martin: And it's another Tuesday, your point? Sasha: Would killing you solve this problem? Michael: If you mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem. ----- Tim: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Jon: Okay, but what is updog? Michael: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Sasha: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Gerry: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Martin: Surely, that’s Uppsala, whereas updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Tim: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Sasha: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Michael: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Jon: What's a henway? Tim: Oh, about five pounds. ----- Martin: Croissants: dropped. Sasha: Road: works ahead. Tim: BBQ sauce: on my titties. Michael: Shavacado: fre. Gerry: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead. Jon:...I don't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

[greekromann]

i dont think theres necessarily. anything *wrong* with fre//emance theres enough time travel/stasis bullshit that at the end of the day i dont really care, but it *is* weird that eli seems to want to set up his daughter with his coworker who he has no reason to believe is anything *other* than twice her age

[torireactstohdgstories]

Wellness Check by Darkfalli - Chapter 2 : In Bad Health

Click here to see the story

"Wait…how the shit did I just sleep? How the stars did I get into my bed?" x) Well, you were thinking so much you didn't notice the giant plant injecting you with sleeping drugs. So that should be a sign that you might need help paying attention to your surroundings?

Ooh, ouch, yeah, that's why you don't just jump out of bed...

Oh, hey, nevermind, Cyathea caught her!

"I was going to learn that affini networking stuff, and I was going to snoop on her eating habits, and send the affini her favorite foods." Oh yeah, mhm, such a bold revenge XD I love it, it sounds like she's not even listening to herself.

"overpowered alien nanny" x) This is so funny

I know I mentionned it already but I love the way Darkfalli uses the narration for characterization. So far, each pov in each story has had something different about it and it's really great.

"I buried my face in my hands and muffled a scream. Digitalis found my smut server." Oh no XD Oh, that is embarrassing. I mean, I'm not particularly private about my kinks but there are things I would never want anyone to just find like that so yeah, very relatable XD

So the vet is here and... "Also, uh, non-human genitals… why did my mind jump to tentacles?" Omg, that's the first thing crossing your mind??? XD

I love the way every response from the vet makes Aster want to just one-up or out-weird him XD

"Also, really fucking awkward of a conversation to have with a xeno who fucking broke into my home at the request of another xeno fern bitch." I mean, when you put it that way, then yeah, true.

x) So now, that's the second time Aster has been knocked out by an Affini, I think I'd be a bit annoyed about it by now if I were her.

Wow, yeah, Aster is rude XD But to be fair, she's angry. A lot, now that I think about it.

I actually feel a little bad for Cyathea. She really has incredible patience. If I were her, I would be so upset that someone I'm trying to help is being so mean.

"I had a lot of applications in sandboxed VMs simply because they couldn't run natively on my OS and also because it was more secure." We're getting into vocabulary I'm not entirely familiar with x) I love the internet but I can barely understand how it works.

Oh gosh, Cyathea's last name is Brownii and I don't know if that's a botanicaly term but it sounds like brownie and that's so freaking cute!!!

"You have a number of psychological issues, including your agoraphobia, autism, anxiety, depression, asocial tendencies, insomnia, and attention issues." And a partridge in a pear tree~

I just keep laughing, this character's narration is just so funny x)

Aw, here comes the trauma. :( Aster is spiralling into bad thoughts and trying to repress it. Poor girl.

"An awful wretched cry of pain slipped out and kept slipping out." Oh gosh, I've known that :( Oh Aster...

The description of being too depressed and tired and emotional to move is on point, maybe just a bit too close to home

I like that Cyathea is really giving Aster choices every step of the way, especially since she needs to feel in control. Using the blue or red flower, giving her the option to stop or keep going. It's nice. I feel like she's trying to do that more than other affini in other stories.

Okay, Cyathea is literally a saint for being able to deal with Aster and stay calm. It reminds me of having to explain to a spoiled kid why they have to take showers and eat their veggies. With more insults. Considering what we learned about how Aster's parents dealt with her autism, it'd make sense she has even more problems understanding what is healthy and what isn't. I don't know if I'm making any sense. Basically, trauma.

~

Alright, so far, I really like the way we're learning about Aster, what she is like and why. There was a lot of relatable stuff in here, I feel a bit emotional myself ^^'

Maybe it's me projecting but Cyathea feels very maternal. Makes sense, of course, but the way she deals with Aster's bullshit with the patience of freaking Buddha really reminds me of having to deal with a kid's tantrums. I really like that though. Of course, it's exactly what Aster needs, that's what that story is for x)

Pretty excited about what's to come! This is really good!

[fresthered]

hey guys. i think you should join that one homestar runner roblox game. do it for the experiences that lead to ideas like this. come on

(featuring @cara-carabowditbowdit and @terrificathlete as coach z and the blue laser commander, respectively. context is that gunhaver passed out because he nearly drowned and the blue laser commander and coach z are trying to hide the body. it was a lot funnier in game, i promise)

[kevinwillpkgd]

remember.

remembrance day. as usual I worked thru the ceremonies and looked up late.

Complaints day. get off my lawn dept. (All diff ff around here, and recent occurrences)

no tofu (again) or radish, sprouts, + sauce.

the staff ate my order(?) (3 shimp)

one item per order ruined, (again. over cooked rolls, triple onions, etc)

pre-paid phone-ins get 20 minute wait, (a couple places)

wrong items at coffee-shop (chain, 3 places), overcharged.

***

next thing ya know they'll accuse me of being anti-social. Or a bigot.

Bite me. Getting things right is a rarity, not normal. I don't use any of 'em (FF places) much anymore. (manic power-tripping (sons) and low IQ passionates a BIG problem. Vengeance, all that.

midnight parking lot shootings too. Harder for me to say, tho i can see back-of-the-truck sales.

I'm getting deaf, he has an accent, she chirps too high to be heard. Bleah. I'm outta here; this doesn't work for me, no how. not even the web.

***

on the other hand, maybe the rumors are correct; I am a dirty, drug dealing, child molesting, porn-making, cartoonist, musician and writer.

a retired one. With an attitude.

NOT. I don't smoke but do gift the stuff. If you can read, there are freebies.

oh, i hit Jolly jack with complaints yesterday too. from sequential art at collected curios. 10 in orders, a 30 shipping charge. WHAT!

two things I hope he noticed. VERY difficult to find print, took twenty minutes to score and insane shipping costs.

it's strike three for christmas already.

"I'm fine, this is fine, everything is fine" t-shirts (Big fam here. I bulk buy at hoildays, tho they usally get books not Ts) and Jolly jack for me. ( Love his works, want phone books.)

other things? 2 grand for an electric snow blower? holy fre-holy crapola! we have plow-build banks here to remove.

this is insane bullshit.

the last green plant died, (holly hocks) time to level the garden.

tomorrow? p3 let them eat garbage ( AI products : phone text2vid productions.

kiss social-media goodbye.

#canada #writing #complaints #rememeranceday

[randomawe]

My friend’s sister has a brutal stalker that has been attacking her relentlessly. He just struck again yesterday and attacked her at work, landing her in the hospital. The Belizean police will not do anything as she is a Mopan Maya woman and indigenous people are constantly on the receiving end of a lot of bullshit. We are trying to seek ways to hire a lawyer so that she can potentially seek asylum here in the US and get some type of protection. Please help if you can!

[absolutewriting-rubbish]

I can't find my cat so instead I cried for a solid 15 minutes, took a break, and started crying again

[ecto-stone]

Okay. I just have to Write This down real Quick Becaused this a Dream i have 5 sec a go and i need to write it down before it fade. So the Sky Was Blood Red just like in the Lies DannyMay pieces Danny: I Don’t Understand ???: (look like Dan) Of Course You Don’t Understand. Unlike You iactually have a train of thought. Did You Really Think i Was Your Future version. “Laught” ???: Who would brought that That is Your ghost getting over Whelmed by My Ghost Half  EVIL ness. “ Laugh even more”  Then it is reveal that ??? have Cyro Sleep pot that contain Danny/ Vlad human and ghost part seperately along with Danny (much older looking) Family. Danny look the same as he was but both Vlad and Vlad ghost look older.  A flash back sequence show that he use Vlad lifeless human body to trick Danny into believing the bullshit Ghost human seperation gone wrong backstory. ??? Walt around with the lifeless Vlad body mockingly before putting said body back into the cyropod, Activating a disposal protocall and kill off everyone ghost and human in the pod. Jack got stab by it but some how wake up. “Danny? Grr You will never get away with this Fre “ only to be imediately repeatedly stabb again before he manage to finish that sentence.... With That Finish ??? now return back to the Past ?

[slashingdisneypasta]

Poly!Frason x Reader || Headcanons

Topic: Just SFW headcanons for them- I may add a second part with all the angst stuff I can think of but not yet! ^^ This could be considered romantic or platonic, you choose. ^^

Warnings: This is mostly comedy XD A little mention of the men trynna eat your pet kitty cat tho. This whole thing is set in a time post FVSJ but Freddy has got his body back somehow.

First of all- You went and decided you wanted the wolf AND the hunter and I applaud you for it.

Second of all, I have no patience hahah. So we are skipping over 'how' in the world this happened- Just know it took a while to get them to cope with each others' existences but you've figured it out for the most part. I mean neither of them can help themselves every now and then, yeeting the other across the camp or bullshitting from the mouth but!- its an improvement XD

Boy these two know nothing about boundaries. You must be a saint. Jason will lose (what's left of) his mind, if you so much as spend a weekend back at your place in the city. Don't bother reupping your rent babe cuz a couple hours outta the camp is his limit. And Freddy disregards personal space and your comfort levels on a regular. They are his comfort levels, now. Be warned.

Jason has a new sense (A 7th, if you will. Cuz we all know his sixth is sniffing out horny behaviour) and these are the 'Y/N's leaving the safety of the cabin tingles'. He'll come a running when he feels them and catch you just with the flat of one foot not even yet touching the grassy ground but definitely looking guilty as can be, like... 'Oh... Oops?'.

Freddy loves it and will go out of his way to make it happen. Getting snacks you like and leaving them out just out of reach from you (As you're on the porch) so you have to inch out of bounds in order to retrieve them ("Mmmm, look at this delicious, freshly campfire cooked bowl of mac and cheese. Its too bad I don't actually want it myself! Such a shame it's going to go to waste... Oh? You want it this Y/N? No problem! I'll just leave it right... here, for ya!" // "I hate you.") or bursting in all panicked and saying quickly, that there's a bear! And we need to go now! Just for there to be no bear, of course, except for Jason, and Freddy's standing there with a video camera he stole from some campers.

"Jason! I didn't mean to- Really!- no- But- Really, it was Fre- Oof." *You cross your arms pouting as Jason plops you back down inside the cabin.*

He does not care for your excuses Y/N, just for the love of god and the sake of his anxiety- STAY INSIDE.

Now, if any of the campers were to find you, supposedly safe in the cabin... well, Jason is missing that sense. Its an unfortunate loophole. LUCKILY, though, Freddy is rarely far away. He knows in his mortal form he doesn't hold up much against groups of teenagers and so is in much the same situation as you, being vulnerable (Therefore its a better strategy for him to stick with you- tag team). But you two have some contingency plans for times like these when you're in danger, so don't you worry.

Like Booby Traps! You have a few of them in and around the cabin (Like the classics- foot nooses that end up with the poor soul hanging upside down *cough* where freddy finishes them off *cough*, bear traps *cough* Jason occasionally gets stuck in these but he just goes on walking around with it like its nothing. You have to ask him to stop so you can take it off gently for him *cough*, etc. I know nothing about booby traps sorry). And if those don't work, you pretend to be a hostage (A non-consenting one) to lead the soon-to-be victim into a false sense of security just long enough for Freddy to sneak in and get them from behind.

You get to introduce them to modern things! Cuz like, remember, both these men are old, okay? They are in their 70's. They still think apple is just a food.

You show them music when you can get your hands on a campers phone until it loses charge, movies on a little portable DVD player, and books (Yes, I think Jason can read. He was 11 when he died. He probably just needs practise now and to get back into the rhythm- then he'll improve fast ^^ I like to think he likes reading and writing! And is a stickler for grammar. Like, Freddy uses abbreviations and Jason gets so annoyed.). Also different sexualities and gender identifications! ("Like, for example, since Freddy likes women and men, then he may be bisexual or pansexual, depending on how important biological identity is to him. Or aromantic, too! That means you don't feel romantic attraction. And Jason- since you don't want anything to do with sex- you might be Asexual! Only if you want to identify though, you can go without a label too if you want- " // Calm down Y/N neither of them really care. Jason is just Jason and Freddy is just slutty)

OODIES FOR ALL.

You also discuss games... and of course Dead By Daylight comes up... And... "Oh, its super cool! It has a whole buncha really cool original killers, but also quite a few well-known Horror Villains and Slashers! Like Bubba and Michael! And... and... " *Slowly you realise Jason isn't in it... and get awkward... and quiet. Slamming your mouth shut*

Freddy: "Am I in it??"

You: Ow- oh, uh- in, in a manner of speaking...

You give them both a 'Which Divergent Faction Do You Belong In?' quiz and Freddy thinks he's a Dauntless but he's a Candor XD Jason is Dauntless. Also, of course, Hogwarts Houses.

I can imagine them starting a collection of Pop Funkos if they could- its too cute and I'm gonna die with this headcanon.

I feel like... no matter how 'sweet' we tend as a fandom to characterise Jason... if you got a pet... both he and Freddy would be vying to eat the thing. Come on! You're in the middle of a forest living off junk food left behind by campers, and leaves- and its not camping season. Hand over the cat, its eat time, nom nom.

I feel that this goes without saying, but Jason is the mature one.

You and Freddy make up games to pass the time.

When you're sad and don't care to be cheered up, Jason's got it. He'll sit for hours with you in his lap, your head on his chest until you feel better or you fall asleep.

You wash up in the lake and Jason plays bodyguard for you ^^